#film: supergirl (1984)

[argoscity]

SUPERGIRL 1984 || dir. JEANNOT SZWARC

[gameraboy2]

1984 Supergirl movie ad

[joyisoverparty]

Supergirl (1984)

Kara Zor-El in every universe [1/?]

[bisupergirl]

the two major things to look at for people wanting to decipher whether or not a drawing of a blonde white woman wearing a supergirl costume is kara zor el are 1.) the year the issue was written, and 2.) the costume itself.

TIME: if you're reading a comic from the years 1986 to 2003: THAT IS NOT KARA. kara did not just simply DIE during crisis on infinite earths, she was ERASED FROM EXISTENCE. in that time period there were two main supergirls that filled her place: MATRIX (mae kent) and LINDA DANVERS. there are certain instances where kara does appear in either a main universe or elseworlds comic from that time, but in each instance it is exceedingly clear which supergirl is being used.

so, if you stumble across a supergirl while reading something that was written between the years 1986 and 2003, that supergirl is either MATRIX or LINDA.

COSTUME: if you're reading a comic and you see someone wearing the classic, barebones supergirl costume: THAT IS (probably) NOT KARA. kara has only worn the classic supergirl costume a handful of times, and each time it is clear that that supergirl is kara and not mae or linda.

these instances are: any coloring error from a silver age comic that mistakenly makes it so kara's wearing a red skirt instead of her original blue dress, helen slater in the 1984 supergirl film, melissa benoist in cw supergirl, and supergirl rebirth, which was the first time kara wore the classic suit for an extended period of time in a main universe comic.

OTHER THAN THESE SPECIFIC INSTANCES, if you see a supergirl that is wearing the classic costume, it is either matrix or linda or... both? idk I haven't read supergirl (1996), but the important thing to take away is that THIS:

is not kara! pre crisis kara wore a similar suit before she died, but it is still very distinguishable from the classic costume. here's pre crisis kara on the left and matrix on the right:

now, if you're reading a comic and see a supergirl wearing THIS costume:

this is LINDA DANVERS. kara only wears this costume in superman: the animated series, so unless you are watching that (or reading a comic set in that universe), know that this is LINDA and not KARA.

TO SUMMARIZE:

are you reading a comic written between the years 1986 and 2003? if yes: THAT'S NOT KARA.

is that supergirl wearing either the classic costume or white crop top and blue mini skirt? if yes: THAT'S NOT* KARA.

*unless you're watching supergirl (1984), STAS, cw supergirl, or reading a modern supergirl comic. in which case: it IS kara.

in 2004 kara was reintroduced back into main continuity, so from 2004 to NOW every supergirl you see is, more likely than not, KARA:

thank you for your time :)

[hollywoodoutbreak]

Today, female superheroes like Captain Marvel, Wonder Woman, and Black Widow dominate the big screen, but back in the 1980s, their presence was a rarity. Amidst a landscape of Superman and Batman films, one movie dared to showcase a woman in the spotlight: Supergirl, the beloved spin-off from the Superman comics.

Released in 1984, Supergirl boasted an impressive cast with Faye Dunaway, Brenda Vaccaro, and the legendary Peter O'Toole. Stepping into the iconic cape was an 18-year-old Helen Slater. While the film faced initial box office disappointment and critical backlash, it has since soared to cult classic status, inspiring a beloved TV series with Melissa Benoist and a new Supergirl movie in the works.

Over the years, we've had the privilege of speaking with Helen Slater, and she once reminisced about the thrill of landing the role of Supergirl.

Supergirl is aviabale on DVD, Blu-ray, and digital platforms.

[doamarierose-honoka]

Chris Pine is shocked Patty Jenkins‘ “Wonder Woman” franchise is dead. The actor recently spoke to Business Insider while promoting his feature directorial debut “Poolman” and said he’s struggling to understand how Warner Bros. could pull the plug on a franchise that grossed the studio nearly $1 billion at the worldwide box office.

“I’m stunned that they said no to a billion-dollar franchise and decided to pivot elsewhere,” Pine said. “I don’t know what the reasoning was behind that; it’s above my pay grade, but Wonder Woman is an incredible character; Patty is such a thoughtful director.”

Pine starred as Steve Trevor opposite Gal Gadot‘s “Wonder Woman” in two Warner Bros. comic book tentpoles directed by Jenkins: 2017’s “Wonder Woman” and 2022’s “Wonder Woman 1984.” The director was developing a third movie for Gadot’s superhero when DC Studios brought in James Gunn and Peter Safran as its new leaders. The duo are creating a new DC Universe and Gadot’s Wonder Woman is not a part of it.

In his interview with Business Insider, Pine said that he doubted he would’ve returning for “Wonder Woman 3” had it been made as his character is “dead” and “gonzo,” adding, “It would be ridiculous to try to bring me back.” He also remembered originally being skeptical of the role of Steve Trevor.

“I had no interest in playing the boyfriend, and it sounded like second fiddle,” Pine said. “Then, in talking to Patty, the way she described it was, ‘Forget the superhero of it all, this is a romance, this is ‘Casablanca,’ that’s the movie I want to make.’ I was like, oh, now that is very cool because when have you seen a superhero film that was a love story, ultimately? That had nothing to do with blowing shit up.”

Jenkins confirmed on the “Talking Pictures” podcast in March that her experience with “Wonder Woman” is over “for the time being, easily forever.”

“They aren’t interested in doing any ‘Wonder Woman’ for the time being,” Jenkins said. “It’s not an easy task, with what’s going on with DC. James Gunn and Peter Safran have to follow their own heart into their own plans. I don’t know what they are planning on doing or why, so I have sympathy for what a big job it is and they have to follow their heart and do what they’ve got planned.”

Jenkins had been developing a third “Wonder Woman” to star Gadot when news broke in December 2022 that their “Wonder Woman 3” had fallen apart after Warner Bros. leadership passed on Jenkins’ treatment for the sequel. Jenkins publicly exited the project. The news hit shortly after James Gunn and Peter Safran took the reins of DC Studios, which led to speculation that Jenkins had rebuffed efforts to reshape “Wonder Woman 3” to fit into their DC Universe.

“I never walked away,” Jenkins shared in a post on Twitter at the time. “I was open to considering anything asked of me. It was my understanding there was nothing I could do to move anything forward at this time. DC is obviously buried in changes they are having to make, so I understand these decisions are difficult right now.”

Gunn and Safran’s new DC universe will launch with superheroes such as Superman, Batman and Supergirl, but Wonder Woman is not yet announced for the new franchise.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Since I am the foremost superhero movie lover around here, it’s time I once again looked at the polarizing films, poorly reviewed movies, and box office failures of the superhero movie genre!

1. The flaccid finale to Fox’s X-Men finale that tried to adapt the Dark Phoenix Saga yet again, to disappointing results in terms of critical reception.

2. The film that was pushed back and reshot so much the actors didn’t even think it would come out! Is this the final film the X-Men series deserved?

3. Dwayne Johnson’s attempt to change the hierarchy of power in the DC universe, in which he plays Shazam’s archenemy: the anti-heroic title character.

4. The latest superhero movie bomb, featuring tabloid magnet Ezra Miller and the return of Michael Keaton as Batman.

5. The Shazamily’s second outing and a bomb that rivaled Quantumania.

6. In 1984, Kara Zor-El soared onscreen… only to crash into obscurity.

7. Shaquille O’Neal brings the STEEL!

8. Christoper Reeves really wanted an anti-nuke Superman movie for his final ride in the red and blue tights. He got that, but is it any good? Sources say probably not.

9. Academy Award-Winning Actress Brie Larson stars in the MCU’s most polarizing film.

10. Ever wonder why it was so hard for female heroes to get movies? Here’s the answer.

[idkaguyorsomething]

Shitty Superhero Tournament Rules and Bracket

Finally, ¡the tournament is about to begin! The bracket will be posted under the cut, but first let’s get some clarifications and rules out of the way:

The movies here have been selected (with two exceptions*) based on their Rotten Tomatoes movie scores and do not reflect my opinion of their quality. The tournament will be divided into six rounds.

Each movie will come with a quick summary of some of its highlights (or lowlights, depending on your point of view) but feel free to create and submit your own propaganda.

You may vote in any way you want, rooting for whatever gives you the most entertainment in a train wreck sort of way, the movie that’s the most incompetently made, a film you feel is actually really good, or however you want to interpret what the winner of a Shitty Superhero Movie Tournament entails.

Personal attacks/bigoted comments and propaganda WILL NOT BE TOLERATED. If you are here looking for an excuse to be racist/sexist/homophobic/anti-semitic/body-shaming/a dick to people trying to collect a paycheck under the corporate grindstone, fuck off. Just because these movies may be shitty doesn’t mean you should be.

If I make a factual error, feel free to correct me on it. Reblogs are encourage, ofc.

¡Have fun and be kind to each other!

THE BRACKET:

Superman III (1983) vs Green Lantern: First Flight (2009)

>

Fant4stic (2015) vs Ghost Rider (2007)

>

Black Adam (2022) vs Man-Thing (2005)

>

Wonder Woman 1984 (2020) vs Dick Tracy (1990)

>

Constantine (2005) vs Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)

>

X-Men: Apocalypse (2016) vs Morbius (2022)

>

The New Mutants (2020) vs Venom: Let There Be Carnage (2021)

>

Catwoman (2004) vs Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom (2023)

>

The Return of Swamp Thing (1989) vs Batman and Harley Quinn (2017)

>

Elektra (2005) vs The Amazing Spider-Man (1977)

>

Howard the Duck (1986) vs The Incredible Hulk Returns (1988)

>

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016) vs The Amazing Bulk (2010)

>

Man of Steel (2013) vs Spider-Man 3 (2007)

>

Blade II (2002) vs Captain America (1990)

>

Blade: Trinity (2004) vs The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014)

>

Batman Forever (1995) vs Next Avengers: Heroes of Tomorrow (2008)

>

Supergirl (1984) vs Superman: Doomsday (2007)

>

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007) vs Punisher: War Zone (2008)

>

Shazam! Fury of the Gods (2023) vs The Fantastic Four (1994)

>

Justice League (2017) vs Tank Girl (1995)

>

Jonah Hex (2010) vs Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (2016)

>

X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) vs Eternals (2021)

>

Daredevil (2003) vs Dark Phoenix (2019)

>

Steel (1997) vs Super Buddies (2013)

>

Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987) vs Iron Man: Rise of the Technovore (2013)

>

Fantastic Four (2005) vs Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2011)

>

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003) vs The Punisher (1989)

>

Suicide Squad (2016) vs Hellboy (2019)

>

Green Lantern (2011) vs The Flash (2023)

>

X-Men: Origins; Wolverine (2009) vs Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023)

>

The Punisher (2004) vs Venom (2018)

>

Batman and Robin (1997) vs Superman/Batman: Apocalypse (2010)

[saturndove]

I’m like if a girl was tv static and also a black hole and headphones where it only works if u tilt it a certain way and was also the soundtrack to supergirl (1984) film

[saintarmand]

“An executive with an instinct for equal opportunities green-lighted Supergirl (1984) but forgot to make it a good film.”

—D. Gauntlett - Media, Gender and Identity: An Introduction (2002)

and they're still doing this<3

[argoscity]

KARA ZOR EL and LUCY LANE SUPERGIRL (1984) dir. JEANNOT SZWARC

[gameraboy2]

Helen Slater in Supergirl (1984)

[extralife]

Watching 1984's Supergirl for Film Sack, and it's profoundly weird so far.

[gungieblog]

Helen Slater was Supergirl in the 1984 film

[april-pad]

Superman Returns - Movies Worth Seeing Again

Superman Returns. After the death of Superman in the prequel Superman: Quest for Peace, Warner Brothers Studios desired to bring the hero back to life. Sadly, The Quest for Peace was both a financial and theatrical disaster for the studio, with a world disappointed by a Superman who only showed off his cape. Poor in action, a senseless story, and a careless plot, doomed the man of steel to the back burner. The studio had to decide on a major strategy to resurrect the most famous action hero.

The Resurrection Dance of Superman Returns

When Warner Brothers decided on a master plan, they hired Bryan Singer to choreograph Superman's resurrection dance. The plan included six other studios, including Fox, and brought in some of the best actors and screenplay geniuses. In 2004, the project rolled out and set the world ablaze with anticipation as their beloved hero planned to dub the cape once more. Warner Brothers could not have done a better job, actors such as Kevin Spacey and Brandon Routh, lined the story written by Singer. Dan Harris and Michael Dougherty. Roving a bit in the past, the man of steel spent five years in space trying to confirm a news lead from scientists who believed that they had found Krypton. At the end of his wild goose chase, Superman returns to a new and technologically advanced Earth. This is sidetracked by his former love, Lois Lane, who is now a Nobel prize winner, for the article  ‘The World Does Not Need Superman’. The plot is complicated by his nemesis who continues his lifelong quest to destroy Superman. Besides all that, he is now destroying the world with isotopes from Krypton. The conflict is beautiful and the stage is set for our hero's return. Success and Dismay The Warner Brother Studio wanted to make history at the box office, and history in design and visuals. The movie got both and Superman came to life.  The crowd loved it, except for wanting a little more action, but they were satisfied and flooded the box office. The studio was dismayed and even canceled a planned sequel in 2009. The box office ranked Superman Returns as the sixth best-paying movie that year, 2006. But critics and fans did not share Warner Brothers Studio’s disappointment, Collider had this to say of the film. "It is, by most accounts, a swell film, and while it's held in high esteem as one of the best superhero movies ever made, I'd argue there's another Superman film that exceeds Superman both in terms of quality and fidelity to the character: Bryan Singer's 2006" Jumping for Greatness Superman Returns ‘is the sixth and final installment in the original Superman film series and serves as an homage sequel to Superman (1978) and Superman II (1980), while ignoring the events of Superman III (1983), Supergirl (1984), and Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987)’. Wikipedia The cape belongs to Superman and even though the studio may not have gotten all the funds it was hoping for, the audience will always look for their hero. Just waiting for the Warner Brothers Studio to find that moment when the world’s hero modernizes.     Read the full article

[81scorp]

Constructive criticism: Supergirl and Jonah Hex

Ah yes, Supergirl and Jonah Hex.

Supergirl (1984)

When Alexander Salkind and his son Ilya bought the movie rights to Superman they also bought the rights to the character of Supergirl, should any sequel or spin-off occur. Supergirl was originally planned to appear in Superman 3 in a plot line intended to set up a standalone film, but in the end her character was removed. Before production began on Superman 3 the Salkinds announced that they were planning a Supergirl film. Originally the plot was to center around Supergirl rescuing Superman, who would be portrayed as her cousin and mentor, but the film was heavily rewritten after Reeve chose not to be involved.

The movie didn`t do well at the box office and Hollywood took this as a sign that people don`t like female led superheromovies. When in reality, people like movies wether they are female led or not, as long as they are good.

I remember watching this on TV when I was but a wee little kid. I liked several parts but overall, something about the movie just gave me that feeling that it could have been better. It was hard for me to pinpoint what it was about the movie that made me feel that way. Then I realized that Kara seems to forget the whole thing about her home being in danger after coming to Earth. And her naive personality is likeable at first but gets old after a while. This movie would make more sense if Kara had suffered some kind of amnesia to make her forget the threat to her her homeworld.

So, with that said... if I could turn back time by flying around the Earth in superspeed, what would I have changed?

Plot

Somewhere in outer space (Because I`m not a big fan of the whole "Transdimensional innerspace" thing.) A group of Kryptonians are living on an asteroid in the city of Argo. Zaltar, a scientist, is doing experiments with the Omegahedron, a powerful source of energy. He has, in his own words, "borrowed" it and plans to put it back where it belongs after he`s finished his experiment. While he`s doing this, a less powerful version of the Omegahedron that can only sustain Argo city for a few days, is taking the place of the real one. (I`m going more for science-fiction than whimsical fantasy in my version.) Something goes wrong and the Omegahedron is sucked out into space. Kara jumps into a pod and chases after it. (But can`t they create a new, fully functional Omegahedron? Yes, but that would take years and they don`t have years, they have days.)

Kara flies through some kind of cosmic storm that strikes her pod and knocks her out. Both the Omegahedron and her pod crashes on Earth. She wakes up with memory loss, wanders around, lost and disoriented and comes to a farm, the Kent farm. The only one who lives on the Kent farm nowadays is Lana Lang, she gives Kara a place to stay and some food to eat. Since Kara can`t remember her name Lana comes up with a few name suggestions; Lois, Lucy, Selina, Diana and Linda. Kara likes the name Linda and takes it.

Meanwhile, somewhere else in Kansas: Delores Winters, an actress, walks over to her neighbour, Prof. Hugo Ultmann, (later we find out that that`s not his real name) and puts some mail in his mailbox. The stupid mailman put some of Ultmann`s mail in her mailbox by mistake. Prof. Ultmann is a man in his sixties, has a weak, frail body and walks with crutches. Inside his house he meets his assistant: Jake Simmons, who tells him about the amazing thing he found last night. He thought it was an ordinary meteor but it was something much more, some kind of alien technology; the Omegahedron. Simmons and Ultmann get in a car and drives to a warehouse that Ultmann owns. The Professor is an angry, bitter old man, who hates superhumans. He`s convinced that Superman is a trouble magnet, if it wasn`t for him they wouldn`t have to worry about threats from outter space*. He tried to warn his colleagues at S.T.A.R. Labs, but no one believed him, they called him crazy. Superman may not be on Earth now, but he can come back, and when he does, Ultmann must be ready to fight him with every means necessary. He believes that if he destroys Superman Earth will be safe from whatever threat that comes with him and sees this alien orb as a ticket to achieve this goal. They enter the warehouse and we see a bunch of high-tech machines, like a teleportation platform which is not yet finished. Everytime he`s tried to teleport something with it the object in question just gets disintegrated. It also requiers a lot of energy, and he hasn`t found an energy source strong enough to power it longer than a few seconds... until now. Most of the High-tech stuff he has is technology that Brainiac left on Earth that he has reversed egineered. Ultmann appreciates the irony: using tech from an alien threat to fight an alien threat. He has hired a bunch of guys and given them bulletproof high-tech suits that increases their strength, allows them to fly and shoot energy from tiny cannons on their wrists. In the background there is something the size of a bus that is hidden under a giant tarp (I think that`s the correct word). He has a habit of scratching his chin with his pinkie (this will come back later). He has also built some kind of machine the size of a refridgerator that has two helmets attached to it. We don`t know what it does yet, but let`s call it Helmetron 2000 for now.

Act 2: Linda (formerly known as Kara) helps Lana Lang on the farm, she goes downtown to do some errands for Lana. Something bad happens (a car accident or something), Linda helps the people in need and discover that she has superpowers. being close to danger ignites a spark in her mind and she remembers a fraction of her lost memory, something about a city named Argo. Linda returns home and tells Lana who is shocked and wonders if Linda... is a Kryptonian like Clark?

Lana takes out a trunk and shows Linda some pictures and newspaper articles. Superman left Earth a few months ago to help S.T.A.R. Labs with some space exploration. Before he left he convinced Lana (who already knew his secret identity) to take over the Kent farm for him. Linda looks at a photo of Superman, that symbol on his chest looks familiar. Her clothes were torn when she saved the people from that accident, she`ll need a new outfit. Fortunately Lana knows about the Fortress of Solitude. Linda flies to the fortress, it gives her knowledge of Krypton and it`s history but it doesn`t spark any memories. She has no memories of living on Krypton, since she has lived on Argo all of her life. After a while she steps out of the fortress and has a nice supersuit of her own. She takes flight. She is now... Supergirl.

Ultmann`s HQ: News about a woman with superstrength who helped people in Smallville reaches Ultmann. Thanks to his own spy satellite (Yes, he`s that paranoid) he finds out where she is at the moment (flying back to Kansas). He calculates where she will most likely end up and sends his goons to the capitol of Kansas to meet her there.

Later, Topeka, Kansas: Ultmann`s goons show up in their high-tech suits. Supergirl shows up, the goons attack her, she defeats them. Fighting them sparks another lost memory, something about a man named Zaltar. Her fight gets the public`s attention. A woman with the same powers as Superman and a similar suit? News about this Supergirl reaches Metropolis and Perry White yells at Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen to get their butts over there and find out everything they can about this superheroine.

Ultmann`s HQ: Ultmann`s paranoia grows, he believes that Supergirl has come to Earth to convince everyone that she`s good while secretly preparing the way for an alien invasion. He realizes that he has to step up his game and gives Simmons Superpowers; Electrokinesis. Simmons calls himself Deathbolt.

The Kent farm: Linda shows off her new suit to Lana and tells her about her fight with the goons. The phone rings. It`s Lois Lane. She`s on her way to Smallville with Jimmy and wonders if Lana might be able to help them find out where this "Supergirl" is. (Lois knows that asking Lana is a longshot, she probably doesn`t know anything about finding superpeople but Lois is willing to try anything to get an interview.) Lana looks at Linda and says that she`ll see what she can do. (Note: In this universe Lois and Lana knows Superman`s secret identity** and Lois knows that Lana knows and vice versa. Jimmy however, doesn`t know a thing.)

Smallville: Lois and Jimmy arrives and are greeted by Supergirl. Lois gets her interview. Linda flies away, looking for something that can spark more memories.

She hears a strange signal that comes from a junkyard, she lands to investigate and is ambushed by Deathbolt. Deathbolt attacks her with lightning and Ultmann, who sits in a van just outside the junkyard, disorients her with sound cannons that he has placed all over the place. They corner her and make her stand on a platform. Just as Ultmann presses a button Supergirl sees the generator powering the platform and by using her X-Ray vision she sees what is powering the generator: a small orb the size of a baseball. It looks vaguely familiar to her. Ultmann pushes the button. Supergirl disappears. Ultmann feels triumphant. He destroyed Supergirl! He is an ubermensch! A superior man! An ultra-human! No wait,... An Ultra-Humanite!

An alien spaceship: Supergirl materializes. A calm voice talks to her through loudspeakers. It asks her questions as it guides her through the corridors. What Supergirl doesn`t know is that the owner of the ship is exposing her to red kryptonite. The door to the ship`s bridge opens and she is greeted by the owner of the voice. He`s bald, has green skin and appears to be some kind of robot or cyborg. Ghasp! It`s Brainiac!

He points to a nearby planet and tells her that he`s been trying to explore and collect data from it but he has met resistance. The people on the planet seems to have a guardian fighting for them. Brainiac wants Supergirl to take care of that guardian. Supergirl, under the influence of the red kryptonite, agrees to help him. She flies to the planet, lands and causes havoc. The people on the planet flee in terror.

A child looks up in the sky and sees something. It`s a bird! No, wait, it`s a plane! No, wait... it`s him! A man lands on the ground, he wears a blue suit, a red cape and an S on his chest, it`s... Superman!

Superman sees the S on Supergirls suit, is surprised to find another Kryptonian, tries to reason with her, she attacks, they fight. during the fight more memories come back to her, it makes her unfocused, Superman sees this and once again tries to reason with her. She breaks free from the influence of the red kryptonite and with that regains all of her memories. She remembers her name, that her homeworld is dying and that the Omegahedron is on Earth in the hands of the bad guy! She sees the destruction she has caused. She is saddened, she is furious, she flies out into space to attack Brainic`s ship. Brainiac calmly activates the ship`s warp-drive and disappears. Supergirl is angry that he got away but also realizes that she has more important stuff to think about. She and Superman do the best they can to repair the damage she caused.

Later: Supergirl has explained everything to Superman, they both fly away, back to Earth.

Earth: Ultra-Humanite is getting weaker. Simmons wonder if there is anything he can do. U-H tells him not to worry, he can take care of this himself.

Meanwhile, Argo: The Generators that give the Kryptonians air and electricity are weakening. Zaltar is sorry for everything.

Act 3: Next day, Earth: Supergirl and Superman arrive. They find the Omegahedron which Simmons is now using to power a giant death-ray cannon the size of a bus. He fires the cannon at Supergirl but Superman takes the hit for her. (Yes, Supes knows that Kara could have taken the blast, but still, old habit I guess.) Supes is knocked out for a minute. Supergirl fights a bunch of U-H`s goons in their flying high-tech suits, which has now been upgraded. Superman gets back on his feet and destroys the cannon, he and Supergirl then both fight and defeat Simmons.

Supergirl finds Ultra-Humanite sitting in a chair next to the Helmetron 2000 wearing one of the helmets. He`s not responding, he`s a mindless vegetable.

Meanwhile, an Airport: Delores Winters is waiting for her flight to Brazil. Her flight is boarding, she gets up, takes her bag and scratches her chin with her pinkie.

Ghasp! Ultra-Humanite transferred his mind to her body! Just like he did in the comics!

Later: Superman, Supergirl and Lana talk a little. Supergirl mentions that she has taken the pod that she arrived to Earth in and stored it in the Fortress of Solitude. Superman feels that he should take a break from space-exploration and stay on Earth for a while. Kara takes the Omegahedron, flies away, returns to Argo and restores it.

The End

*Like Zod, Ursa and Non from Superman 2, or Brainiac from (my version of) Superman 3.

** This takes place in the same universe as my rewritten version of Superman 2 where Superman didn`t erase Lois`s memory.

This took a while to write because I only had the beginning and the end finished in my head but not the middle. The inclusion of Brainiac was a last minute addition.

I think it would be possible (at least on a technical level) to make this movie in 1984 or 1985, since Star Wars: A new hope (which had impressive effects for it`s time) was made in 1977.

Jonah Hex (2010)

It was the 2010s and someone must have realized that there are more characters in the DC Comics universe than just Superman and Batman. (I know, crazy right?) And since Hex`s comic technically takes place in the same universe as the DC superheroes he must also have a superpower, right? He doesn`t? Let`s give him one then. the film was released on June 18, 2010, by Warner Bros. Pictures and was a commercial failure. (It could have helped if it had been better and hadn`t been released on the same day as Toy Story 3.) This is another one of those movies that I haven`t seen, but I know what happens in it because of reviews that I`ve seen and synopses I`ve read.

So, with that said... If I could run so fast that I could screw the laws of physics, travel backwards in time and change this movie, what would I have changed?

Jonah having superpowers

The first one´s a no-brainer: NO SUPERPOWERS. It would be better if Jonah was just an ordinary bad-ass. Instead of literally talking to dead folks it would be better if he found out how and why they were killed by detective work. (Not that he would carry some kinda forensic kit on him, but more like being able to read signs since he was trained by native americans.)

Jonah´s look

It has been popular to depict him with a big/exposed eye. That would recuire CGI and cost a lot of money and time.

How a bout this: he could carry an eye-patch. I also remember that I read an old Jonah Hex comic a while ago that didn´t depict him with an exposed eye but instead an ordinary sized eye with no iris. This effect could be achieved with an ordinary contact lense.

So you could have: CGI, CGI with eye-patch, eye-patch with no CGI or contact lense.

Personally I`d go with a contact lense.

Plot

It begins in medias res with Jonah, already an experienced bountyhunter, finding and shooting a bunch of bandits. After this we get a flashback that explains most of Jonah`s Origin.

As a child Jonah was left out in the wilderness by his father but saved and raised by native americans. He developed feeling for a girl named White Fawn but another young man in the tribe named Noh-Tante was also intersted in her, so there was some conflict between them. When Jonah became an adult he left the tribe to fight in the civil war, joined the confederate side and and earned a commission as a lieutenant in the 4th Cavalry. Jonah formed a friendship with a man named Jeb Turnbull and a man named Edward Cantwell, the latter saved his life on at least one occasion. After a while Jonah realized that what the confederate side fought for was wrong, deserted his post and went to the nearest Union camp, Fort Charlotte, sneaking into the commander's quarters to surrender directly. He refused to tell the commander where his unit was stationed, but one of his aides was able to determine their location by studying the clay from the shoes of Jonah's horse. The Confederates were caught by surprise, and all of them were captured. The commander, humiliated by Jonah easily penetrating the fort's poor security, falsely praised him for his "assistance" in the attack. Hex punched him and was sentenced to solitary confinement. When he was released he found out that Jeb had been killed by Union soldiers and Edward Cantwell had gone M.I.A.

Jonah came across his old tribe and found that Noh-Tante had since married White Fawn, and White Fawn was not happy about it, she still had feelings for Jonah. Jonah and Noh-Tante started to argue and it led to a fight. it was decided that they would settle their dispute through combat. Noh-Tante sabotaged Jonah's tomahawk so it would break, forcing Jonah to stab him with a knife. Enraged that Jonah had killed his son and broken the rules of combat, the chieftain had him restrained and disfigured with the "mark of the demon" by scarring the right side of his face with a heated tomahawk. With the mark serving as proof of his wickedness, Jonah was banished from the tribe.

In his exile he met and befriended a native american man named Ke-Woh-No-Tay. (In the comics Ke-Woh-No-Tay is a white guy who grew up with native americans and learned their culture and ways, but in this (nonexisting) move it would be better if he was an actual native american.)

Jonah became a bountyhunter, met a man named Arbee Stoneham, who had some experience in the field of bountyhunting. He gave Jonah a few tips and some advice. Jonah`s first bounty was a bankrobber... who turned out to be his old friend Edward Cantwell. Jonah, still valuing their old friendship, wanted to give Cantwell a second chance so that he could become a better person. But then Arbee Stoneham showed up, killed Cantwell, disarmed Hex and stole his guns. Hex vowed revenge.

Flashback ends.

(To help differentiate between Jonah`s past and his present he could wear an eye-patch (after he gets his face burned) in the flashback and no eye-patch in the present. It could symbolize that the older and more experienced Hex doesn`t care if people see him as a monster.)

We meet Quentin Turnbull, a rich plantation owner and Jeb Turnbull`s father who blames Jonah for the death of his son.

Act 2: Turnbull hires five ex-Confederates to take him down, Jonah manages to kill all of them but innocent bystanders get hurt in the process by the ex-Confederates. This angers Jonah, he can understand why someone wants him dead, but if someone has a problem with him they should focus their vendetta on him and only him and leave innocent bystanders alone! He finds out who sent them and tries to kill Turnbull, but Turnbull was prepared for the possibility that Jonah would survive and sends some hired guns to intercept him. Jonah kills them as well but gets mortally wounded in the process. Fortunately he is found and saved by Ke-Woh-No-Tay who takes him to an old friend who nurses him back to health; a native american woman named Tall Bird. Back to full health Jonah decides to continue his revenge journey towards Turnbull. Ke-Woh-No-Tay and Tall Bird don`t like this, they didn`t save his life just so he could go and get himself killed again. Ke-Woh-No-Tay tries to talk Jonah out of it but Jonah is stubborn. Ke-Woh-No-Tay realizes that he can`t stop him and decides to tag along from a distance so that he can assist Jonah when things look too tough for him.

Act 3: Jonah reaches Turnbull`s home and fights some of his hired guns. At one point Jonah gets attacked from behind but his attacker is shot with an arrow fired by Ke-Woh-No-Tay. Jonah fights Turnbull, a fire breaks out in Turnbull`s mansion, Turnbull disappears in the flames and is later presumed dead (I haven`t decided yet if I want to save him for a sequel or not). Ke-Woh-No-Tay is glad that Jonah survived and the two part ways. There`s just one thing left for Jonah to do now.

Jonah finds the town where Arbee Stoneham is living but discovers that Arbee is now an old man in a wheelchair (as a result from a gun-fight years ago) who doesn`t even remember him. Seeing no reason to kill him, Jonah buys him a beer and they talk a little. Jonah then gets up on his horse, visits Jeb Turnbull`s grave to pay his respects. He then gets up on his horse and rides away, towards new adventures.

The End

This one was easier to write since I already had a beginning, middle and an end finished in my head.

I haven`t seen the movie but I have read some issues of the comic and the comic is very pure Western. It is self-contained with, very rarely, any connections to the larger, mainstream Superhero DC universe. It is very much capable of standing on it`s own and does so regularely. That`s why I didn`t include any nods to said universe, or any Sci-fi gimmicks.

Buut... If I were to include any nods to a bigger, connected DC universe I`d do it sparingly, like this:

Early in the second act: Jonah could walk through a town and one of it`s inhabitants (let`s call him Hunter) could look at Jonah as if he`d just seen a celebrity.

Jonah: "Do I know you?"

Hunter: "Oh, sorry! I thought you looked familiar."

Then, after the movie is over we could get a Mid-Credit scene where we meet Hunter again.

It`s night, Hunter is carrying a satchel, standing outside a town, looking at his watch. The clock turns twelve, a time machine the shape of a sphere materializes. It opens, out steps a woman named Bonnie Baxter.

Bonnie: "You got the journal?"

Hunter (holds up the satchel): "Sure did! I also met a historical figure."

(That`s right, it`s Rip Hunter, the time traveller.)

This little cameo could be fun, but it wouldnt`t be super necessary for the movie to work. That`s why I wrote it in a way so that it could easily be removed from the movie without hurting the narrative.

I have to admit that I like the scene with the gatling gun on the horse, I think I`ll keep it in my version.

And that`t how I would do it.

It is of course very easy for me to write these because I have the luxury of hindsight. And unlike the filmmakers I didn`t have a movie studio full of corporate suits breathing down my neck, focus grouping the movie to death, forcing in unnecessary changes and pressuring me to get it made before a deadline.

Why do I write these?

For several reasons. I`m nitpicky. Sometimes the movies I criticize aren`t bad, I just like my own ideas better. Sometimes the movies I critize are bad. I care about good storytelling and it`s a fun excerize in creativity and script doctoring.

But also because I have a lot of of free time.

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Started writing this 2024-07-27

If you`ve been following me for a while you know that these two movies have been on my to-do list for quite some time. Glad to finally get them out of my head.

Comments are appreciated.

Other movies on my Constructive Criticism list that you can look forward to

The Spirit (2008) The Dark Knight trilogy

And as usual: English is not my first language, so if my writing doesn`t seem to flow naturally, you know why.

You can find me on artstation and my sister has a patreon if you`re interested.