#filled with the burning desire to snip loose ends

[dissectress]

a story of a madwoman in 5 parts

[thatesqcrush]

The Trip

Bryan Kneef x Reader. CW: NSFW. Oral sex (male & female receiving), p in v sex, some roughish sex, incl. choking, hair pulling, and spanking, some daddy! references & of course, language. Bryan being his usual asshole self. For holiday bingo: silver & gold. Dedicated to @beccabarba who is a super awesome person, writer, and friend. If you haven’t read her stuff - DO IT (after you read my story though, ha! JK, JK).

WC: 3.5k

--

You sighed in annoyance, fanning yourself with the pamphlet that you had been given. It was the annual ERISA Litigation Conference, taking place in Palm Beach, Florida. It was not how you had exactly planned spending your Christmas. Your parents extended their vacation in Europe and your sister had the flu. When your boss, Gavin Firth announced he needed a volunteer to attend the conference, you leaped at the chance. Spending a week in Florida, even for work, sounded like a vacation – something you not had in five years. Chicago at Christmas was brutally cold. No thank you.

You were stuck for the entire day at the Tideline Hotel and Spa, in “Conference Room B.” The luxurious hotel had gone all out with elaborate holiday decorations. Silver and gold reindeers and dark green garland with red holly berries flanked the hotel. Multiple Christmas trees adorned the lobby. The hotel added a menorah and a kinara for good measure as well.

There was an issue with the air conditioner in your conference room and all the other conference rooms were filled. You were sweltering. There was a small bar and you were waiting on a refill of a peach bellini when you noticed him walking in.

It was Bryan fucking Kneef.

The head of STR Laurie’s litigation department sauntered in, wearing a two-button linen suit with pick stitching and flat front trousers. The top button of the white shirt he wore under was unbuttoned, with a tuft of chest hair sticking out. He recognized you immediately and he made way, pausing briefly to greet to other litigators.

As Bryan approached you, he took off his sunglasses, revealing his bright green eyes. “Hello Y/N.”

“Hello Bryan; what are you doing here? I thought you had court this week.” You replied, as you took your drink from the bartender.

“Passed it off to Caleb. When I heard the conference was here in sunny Florida, I jumped at the chance.” Bryan made a jack off motion with his fist which earned a raised brow from you. “What a perfect way to blow off some steam on the firm’s dime?”

“It’s nine o’clock in the morning Bryan.” You replied, as he ordered a scotch from the bartender. “You need Jesus.” You rolled your eyes.

When he turned his attention away from you, you glanced back at him and eyed him carefully – he did look good. More than good as evidenced by the pool of desire that was growing between your legs. It was safe to say that you had a crush on him – how could you not with how attractive he was. And he was intelligent and a smart ass, with the sharpest of tongues. But his acrid attitude turned you off. He, however, loved to goad and hound you – ever since you joined the firm years ago. Before Caleb became his associate, you were his associate. There were countless nights where you would burn the midnight oil finishing his briefs while he was galivanting around Chicago sowing his seed. Aside from being worked to the bone, you learned a lot from him. Eventually, you worked your way out and were fast-tracked to junior partner.

Bryan felt as if he was being watched and he turned, catching you staring, which caused your cheeks to flush. You sure had grown up from being his associate. You were more beautiful than he remembered, with shapely hips and perky breasts encased in mint sleeveless sheath dress. Your lips appeared soft and lush and he zoned in on them as you chided him on his choice drink. He wondered how your lips would feel around his cock.

“Where are you sitting?” Bryan asked, shifting his stance as he felt his cock twitch.

“By the window, it’s too damn hot in here.” You replied. When he replied he would join you, you felt your heart race. You both settled and gave your breakfast orders to the hotel staff. Bryan removed his jacket and rolled up his sleeves.

You squirmed in your seat – how could someone even make rolling up their sleeves sexy? You fanned yourself some more and chugged your drink.

The first day of conference went well overall. There were various speakers discussing issues such as fraudulent claims, insurance companies acting capriciously and how to be more effective with settlement demands. You took copious notes while Bryan dicked around on his phone.

The day ended in the early afternoon and you decided to use your time at the hotel pool. Purchasing a swimsuit in December had been a bit more difficult than you had imagined and the only thing you found at the last minute was a black single strap suit with a silver and gold diagonal stripe.  The back was dangerously low and the swimsuit bottoms were cheeky, showing an ample amount of your ass. You wore a lace cover-up that had a very boho-chic feel to it. You paired it an oversized floppy hat and black sunglasses.

You made your way to the pool, armed with a book and a drink in another. You found a lounge chair and took off your cover-up. You laid on your stomach and read a few pages, feeling the warm sun on your skin. You felt your eyes begin to droop and you were about to give in to sleep when a voice spoke, causing you to jump. You saw Bryan standing over you.  Your eyes trailed over his chest hair which was neatly trimmed and followed the vertical trail all the way down from his navel down to his short swim trunks which left nothing to the imagination. Bryan Kneef definitely was packing.

“Your ass is better than Memo 618.” Bryan licked his lips and you sat up, covering yourself. “This seat taken?” Bryan did not wait for you to answer, instead sitting at the edge of your chair.

You scooted up more in the chair and crossed your legs and arms, pushing up your tits further. Through his sunglasses, Bryan appreciated the view, noting if he just tugged the top a little, your tits would be exposed.

Two women in bikinis that left very little to the imagination walked by and Bryan peered up, taking off his sunglasses to leer at them. “Hi ladies.” The two women smirked at him and Bryan watched them walk away. You watch the scene before you and you suddenly feel self-conscious – you were still carrying some holiday weight – and holiday weight from years prior.

“I’m getting a new chair.” You announce loudly. “Nice seeing you Bry.” You gather your belongings and move to leave when Bryan grips your arm.

“Stay, come on. I figured we could catch up since I hardly see you around in the office and maybe tonight we could grab dinner.” Bryan replied. To your surprise, he seemed sincere.

“Are you asking me out?” You asked. “What – can’t get the Barbie bimbos?”

Bryan rolled his eyes. “It’s dinner – come on, we’re colleagues, we’re friends.” You gave him a look. “Okay, we’re colleagues.”

“Fine.” You acquiesce. “Go sit over there. You’re going to ruin my tan.” Bryan chuckled as he moved to the empty lounge chair. You roll back onto your stomach once more and start to dive into your book when you feel a pair of hands on you.

“What in the actual fucking fuck?” You swore and look over to see Bryan squeezing lotion onto his hand. He rubbed his large hands together. “You’re going to burn. Let me put some lotion on you.” His hands began to rub your back and you felt your desire skyrocket. He may have been an asshole, but the man’s touch… was something else.

As his hands moved lower and lower, you let your mind wander on what else his hands could do. You couldn’t help but let out a very soft moan in response as his hands moved up the backs of your thighs.

The chair creaked as Bryan stood. He crouched beside you, and pushed your hair back. “Just say the word and we can do much more than just dinner.” His fingers scraped gently along the back of your neck and you shivered. You stared at him, mouth agape as he sat back on the other chair, his arms behind his head, with a very smug and sure look on his face.

**

You met Bryan for dinner at the hotel restaurant, which had a 5 star Michelin rating. Bryan wore another linen suit and you wore a cream colored off the shoulder fitted dress with a sweetheart neckline. Large hoop earrings hung off your ears and you kept your makeup light and your hair loose. Bryan was ever the gentleman, helping you into your seat.

Dinner was going well, with drinks flowing a bit too easily. You could see why Bryan was the way he was, expecting things the way he did. The man was charming and suave. When not being a pissed off asshole, he was actually really easy to get along with. You discussed old cases and the merger with Reddick, Boseman & Lockhart and found you both had a mutual dislike for Diane Lockhart.

When the check arrived, Bryan insisted on paying, which you let him. Bryan watched as you knocked back the rest of your wine. You wiped your mouth on the napkin and met his eyes, which were blown with lust. Your brain screamed no, but the throb in your pussy said YES.

“Does your offer still stand?” You asked. Bryan noted the twinge in your voice.

Bryan grinned like the cat who caught the canary. “You bet your sweet ass it does.”

**

“When we get back to the office, not a word.” You moaned as Bryan sucked on your neck.

“When we get back to the office, I am going to fuck you there too.” Bryan murmured as he worked the back of your dress zipper. You turned around so he could unzip it fully. You pushed your dress down, until it pooled at your feet. You turned slowly and stepped out. You weren’t wearing a bra – just a tiny piece of fabric that dared called itself a thong. Bryan had quickly shed himself of his own clothes, just clad in boxers with a very sizeable tent evident.

“Do you have condoms?” You ask, drinking his near nude form in.

“No worries; I’m snipped.” Your brow arched, pleased with this information.

“Just as well. I’m on birth control.” You shrugged.

“Then what the fuck are we waiting for?” Bryan growled. He pulled you to him closely, kissing you deeply once more. His hands went to your ass, grabbing and squeezing the meaty flesh of your ass. You let out a moan and he used the opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth, exploring. He tasted like mint and something else that was very much uniquely him and you wondered if he tasted the same below. Bryan picked you up easily by the backs of your thighs and carried you to the bed. You both fell onto the bed, a mess of tangled limbs. The two of you continued your heavy make out session, hands touching everywhere. Bryan sat up and took one of your breasts into his mouth. You threw your head back as his tongue licked one nipple while he firmly rolled and pinched the other. You writhed in his lap, feeling his cock grow even harder beneath you, if that was even possible. Bryan switched breasts and repeated his actions. His beard burned you in the best of ways, leaving red marks along your skin.

“Oh God!” You groaned as he suckled on your tit harder and then nipped you.

“Not God.” Bryan chuckled darkly. “Just me.”

You entwined your hands into Bryan’s dark hair, keeping him in place. “Do that again. That felt so fucking good.” Bryan smiled and did as you requested which earned another moan from you. Bryan licked the space between your breasts and then placed wet kisses along your abdomen. You momentarily felt self conscious of your stomach but that thought was quickly forgotten as Bryan pulled your thong to the side and buried his face into your hot needy cunt.

Bryan ate you out like a man possessed, his tongue mimicking what he planned to do you later. He was relentless in his actions, gripping you tightly to his face. You hips undulated against his mouth as he alternated between burying his tongue into you and lapping at your folds. He snaked two fingers into you and began to finger fuck you, while his tongue found your swollen bundle of nerves and stayed there. The sounds that emanated – helpless and uncontrolled sighs and wails which go straight to Bryan’s cock. As he stroked the sweet spot inside of you, you let a deep guttural groan. You came hard, your thighs gripping the sides of his face tightly. Bryan continued to lap at you through your orgasm and your second orgasm approached fairly quickly.

Bryan takes a moment to remove his mouth from you, but he continues to rub haphazard circles on your clit. It’s beautiful when you come. Your back is arched towards the ceiling, your thighs tremble and shake. A light sheen of sweated coated your skin.

You threw your hands over your face as you let out a giggle. You had never experienced oral sex like this before. The man’s tongue was clearly sharp both in and out of the bedroom. “Holy shit!” You panted.

Bryan climbed over you, kissing the space between your breasts once more and then covered his body with yours, kissing you deeply. You could taste yourself on him and it just spurred your desire.

“Let me return the favor.” You murmured and Bryan was quick to roll himself over, shedding himself of his boxers. His massive cock sprung, falling back on his taut belly, with a heavy smack. Your eyes widen slightly as you take his size and girth in with an equally proportionate sack.

You spat into your hand and reached up to jerk his cock. His cock feels thick, hot and heavy in your hand. Your fingers graze the ridges and veins of his engorged cock before taking him into your mouth. Bryan hissed and he wrapped both of his hands into your hair, guiding your mouth on his cock. He had to will himself to not just fuck your mouth and completely unload. ‘No, no’ Bryan thinks to himself, deciding to save that idea for another day.

“You’re such a good little cocksucker.” Bryan praised and you squealed in response, though the sound was muffled because your mouth was full. The taste of his pre-cum flooded your mouth. You pulled away to take a brief breather, a strand of saliva connected you to him. You continued to use your hand to help you before taking more of his length into your mouth, triggering your gag reflex. The sounds of your mouth slobbering all over his cock drove Bryan crazy. You didn’t ease up. You reached up and gently cradled his balls, massaging them softly. Bryan let out a grunt of surprise as you dipped your head down and sucked gently on his balls, using your hand to jerk him.

“Enough.” Bryan barked. “I want to fuck that pussy.” He climbs off the bed, reaching over to grab the hotel bed pillows and stacks them one on top of the other. “All fours.”

You realize what he is doing and you climb into position. Your ass was up in the air, the rest of your bod diagonal, with your head to the side. You let out a squeal as Bryan smacks your ass, the sting burning your skin briefly.

Bryan positions himself behind you and runs his cock along your soaked pussy. You push against him, eager to feel him inside of you. Again, teasingly, Bryan rubbed his cock against your folds, barely just slipping in. You whimpered in protest.

“Please.” You desperately begged. “Fucking fill me up with that big fat cock of yours.”

In one movement, Bryan slid his cock into you. You gasped at the fullness. You gripped the sheets as you felt his balls nestle at your pussy. He filled you so completely that it took your breath right out of you. Bryan began to slowly piston in and out of you, watching as his cock disappeared into your warm sheath. He rotated his hips, before coming to a still causing you to mewl and whimper.

You were close to the precipice and not in the mood for niceties. “Come on, I’m not gonna break,” you gritted. “Fuck me. Fuck me hard.”

That earned two spanks in succession as Bryan growled in response quickening his tempo. The headboard of the bed banged against the wall as he fucked you hard. His hands gripped your hips tightly; you were certain there would be bruises in the morning.

“Your pussy is so fucking tight and wet.” Bryan grunted, spanking you some more.

“All for you.” You whined, pushing back and meeting his thrusts. “Give it to me Bry. I want to come!”

“This is my pussy.” Bryan grunted, leaning his weight over you and twisting your hair into his palm. He pulled you back hard, the pain of it should have alarmed you, instead, you gave into it, craving more. You were flush against him, your back to his chest and he fucked up into you. Your mouth grew slack and your eyes fluttered close as he wrapped his hand around your throat, squeezing. His other hand found your clit and began to rub again.

“I… I…” you babbled incoherently, your mind was going fuzzy with the pleasure you were feeling. Without warning, Bryan pulled out of you, rolling onto his back.

He held his cock straight up and looked at you expectantly. You felt your self-consciousness rear its ugly head at the idea of riding him.

“I can’t.” You replied weakly. Bryan gave you a look that could only be described as ‘what the fuck.’ His eyes turned dark and stony and his face hardened.

“You can and you will.” Bryan replied with confidence.

“I’m too heavy.” You bemoaned.

Bryan let go of his cock and slapped the outside of his thigh. “I’m a grown fucking man. Come on and ride daddy’s cock like a good girl.”

You nodded and Bryan reached for you, pulling you on top of him. You followed his lead, reaching down to grab his cock. You noticed your essence all over his cock and you groaned internally before you climbed onto him and sunk into his cock. You began to roll your hips. Bryan’s own eyes fluttered close and his hands were on your hips, guiding you.

“Fuuuck.” Bryan growled, thrusting his hips up to meet you. He leaned you down and took a breast into his mouth, as he jack-hammered into you. You cried out again and reached down to rub your swollen nub.

“Are you going to be a good girl and come for me?”

“I am going to… oh Bryan, fuck! Just like that.” You gasped.

“Come for me.” He commanded with a grunt, gripping your hips tightly as he pounded into you. “Cream on daddy’s cock.”

You wailed Bryan’s name as you came completely undone. Feeling your walls flutter around his cock, seeing your wrecked face - it was all too much for Bryan and he came, stiffening as he emptied his hot creamy load into you. Murmurs of “let my pussy milk that cock,” left your lips.

“That’s it, take it like a good girl.” Bryan rumbled, deep and low. Your eyes were squeezed shut and you could feel his load drip out of your pussy and pool in between your bodies.

You collapsed against Bryan, falling into a heap as you came down back to reality. Bryan pressed a kiss to your head, before gently lifting your face to give you a soft kiss. eventually peeled your sweaty body off of him. You laid next to each other, your chests heaving, each trying to catch your breath.

You rolled onto your side, facing Bryan. You ran your hand through his chest hair. “That was … wow.”

Bryan gave you a shit-eating grin. “Can’t wait to do that again.”

You pressed a kiss to his lips and climbed over him, one leg over each side of his face. Bryan smirked as he realized what you were doing. “Why wait?” You asked, your voice dripped with lust.

“I hope you don’t suffocate me.” He teased with a wink. You rolled your eyes and went to make a smart remark when he surprised you by pulling you down onto his face, his tongue doing all sorts of wonderful things. You let out a surprised ‘fuck!’ and looked down at him. Bryan looked up at you, his mouth left you briefly. “Oh but what a way to go - you will need to take over my caseload when we go back.” He replied before devouring you once more.

FIN.

--

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[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Going Through Motions{6}

Title: Going Through Motions {6}**

Steve Rogers X Reader OFC Korral “Korri” Evans

Warning: Plot, Cursing, Blood, Angst, NSFW, SMUTTTTTT, Pain

Word Count: 3.2K

Summary: You and Steve had a hot, passionate, and wild romance seven years ago when you worked with the Avengers. It was the best year of your life; you’d never felt the things you’d felt in all your life. Then out of nowhere, Steve just ended things—in a letter. A heartbreaking letter, then the world deemed him a criminal, and he disappeared. Now, you’ve moved on and have gotten engaged to rich man Marc Spector. Tony brings you back to work with the newly rebuilt Avengers that is still led by Captain America who is definitely done asking for permission and not looking for forgiveness. Or is he?

Note: So, for this fic, we are going to alter the MCU timeline a bit. This takes place after Civil War, but Infinity War has not happened yet. Steve is off the grid for seven years before he comes back. {I know that’s a long time, but let me rock please} Also, I’m going to be introing/adding in Moon Knight (Marc Spector) in just because I feel like it and I want to start exploring other Marvel characters and of course I will twist him to serve my purposes.

**Loosely Proofread/edited**

~~~~~~~~~~~~

-Steve-

  He fucking hated being shot. It didn’t happen often, but it did happen. This time the bullet had actually penetrated his suit which told him that they weren’t dealing with petty mercenaries or criminals. The ride back to the compound was a painful one. Once Nat patched him up the best she could in the air he saw you in a dark corner of the jet, you didn’t speak or look anywhere but the floor. Tony gave him a look that said to leave you alone, and he decided to listen against every instinct in his body. While he was angry seeing you in his arms, he felt far more than anger. Way too much.

   When the jet landed back at the compound, you were the first off. You were quick, so quick he didn’t see where you disappeared to. “Let’s get you looked at, Cap,” Vision said. He looked to him and back to where you disappeared. “I’ll be fine. We need to focus on who they were and why they wanted that canister,” he ordered as he walked off. He walked inside the compound and made his way to his room. He was getting too old for this, he thought. As he walked he thought back to the fact that not once but twice you’d tried to put yourself between him and danger. He couldn’t understand why you’d do that.

   Since he’d been back, you’d made sure to limit any time you spent with or near him. He wasn’t stupid, he could tell, and he knew everyone else could too. They knew everything about the situation and your relationship much to his annoyance. He’d tried to keep your relationship low key, but after the first kiss he knew it would be impossible. He wasn’t able to control himself. He’d lost control of not only his actions, but his feelings and he fell hard and fast for you. Sam was the one to realize it first, then Nat and the others and they teased him mercilessly. By the time you’d spent your first night together he knew he would do anything for you, all you had to do was ask. They also knew what he’d done, but only Bucky, Sam and Nat knew why he’d done it.

He pressed his back to the door of one of the med bays, deciding he did need to take care of the wound. Groaning, he walked toward the table and leaned forward. He slowly peeled off the top of his suit and allowed it to hand around his waist. He looked down to his side and saw the blood-soaked bandage. He ripped it and dropped it to the floor, he saw drops of his blood drip onto the floor and quickly made it over to where he knew the surgical instruments were. He gripped the clamps and psyched himself up, knowing he needed to get the bullet out. He brought the metal close to the wound but paused as the door opened. He spun around and there you stood the source of his joy and the root of his nightmares. You didn’t move, and he wasn’t sure if you’d turn back around and leave. Your eyes fell to his abdomen. You came inside and closed the door behind you. “Get on the table, I’ll help,” you said flipping on the overhead light above the table. He groaned again. “I got it.”

He looked down to his wound and dipped the clamp inside; his loud groans filled the room until he pulled the clamp out. His blood dripped more. “Stop being stubborn Steve. Get on the table. Let me help!” Shaking his head, he listened and climbed on the cold table. The stretch of his skin made him flex his entire body. After a few seconds, he looked to you. You were standing beside the table staring at his body. He groaned and looked up into the light. He didn’t need an erection now. He willed himself to get a grip. You moved around the room gathering supplies before you returned to his side.

   “This is going to hurt,” you informed. He almost laughed. “You sound as if you might enjoy it.” Your eyes briefly rose to his before they dipped back to his abdomen. “Maybe, I will.” Without any more words, you poured the alcohol into his wound. He shouted out as the burn felt as if it consumed his entire torso. You didn’t stop, you dipped the clamp into the hole and fished around for the bullet. Every move the clamp made it felt as if there were metallic ants digging into him and ripping apart his flesh. He gritted his teeth and focused on the light above him. Part of him felt like he deserved the pain, so he didn’t utter a word.

 After what felt like an eternity you pulled the clamp out grasping the bullet. “Got it.” the clatter it made on the table beside him echoed in the room. Again, you poured the alcohol in the wound. He stifled his scream, so it was only a constricted groan. He felt the puncture of the stitches you were forming on his skin, and he knew the worst was behind him. He released a slightly relieved breath. When he was able to control the pain from the needle, he looked at you and wondered why you were doing this.

   “Why?”

   “Why what?” You spoke without looking up from what you were doing. “Why’re you helping me?” It was then you stopped and looked up to him. Your bloodied hands hovered in the air. You scoffed and smirked but continued your work. “Oh, you’re wondering why I’d help the man who abandoned me seven years ago to break up with me in a letter that pretty much said he didn’t love me anymore if he ever did? Wondering why I’d do anything but try to cause you severe pain?” You pulled the thread tightly, forcing a pained grunt from him.

   “Guess I’m more like your precious Peggy than you thought after all. What was it you said in that letter?” He knew exactly what he’d said in the letter. It was all lies. He knew he had to make it so you’d never try to go after him. There was only one way to do that—break your heart. He wondered if he’d done too good of a job. “Oh, I remember; you said you’d planted a fake image of who I was in your mind, an image that I could be anything like the woman you loved, the only woman you’d ever loved. That it had become painfully clear that I was not her, I was nothing like her, and that realization is the reason why it’s clear to you that you could never end up with me.” Hearing the words he’d written broke whatever was left inside him. It killed him to write those words. He also knew that if he wrote them you wouldn’t follow. He knew about your insecurities of living up to the memory of a dead woman. He’d tried to convince you that Peggy was his past, he’d made peace with it and wanted to look to the future, but he knew you still held suspicions he craved her. He didn’t. You yanked the thread once more before you snipped the excess. You then slammed the needle on the table. “There you go Cap, good as new.” You walked around the table to the door, and he had to stop you. Tossing his legs over the edge of the table he pulled you back to him.

   “Let me go!” You were angry. He’d never seen you this upset. “Wait, Korri, wait!” His eyes stung with the unshed tears threatening to spill out. “For what Steve?!” You tried to pull yourself free, but he was stronger and held you in place. “Just wait, darlin’.” He hadn’t said that word in years and to finally let it out it brought a single tear down his cheek. You groaned; he could feel your body shaking. He gripped your cheeks and brought you to face him. “Let me go!”

   “I’m—I’m—god Korri--.” You pulled away from him, and he saw the tears. “You what Steve? Huh! God, I hate you so fucking much! You said that shit to me in a letter, a fucking letter!” He could feel your hurt through your daggered words. He hated himself even more. He never wanted to hurt you, not in a million years but he purposely wrote those lies knowing they would. “Darlin’--,” he began. You swung up and slapped him clear across his cheek. “Stop calling me that. You lost every fucking right to call me that or Korri, you fuck!” He dropped his forehead to yours; you didn’t pull away, and he found it strange. He began to wonder if all this hate and rage you spewed was a cover for something else. His body knew what he was going to do before his brain did. He pulled you to him and held you. You cried into his neck holding tightly to his back. Your scent filled his nostrils, and he dropped a chaste kiss to the nape of your neck on the exposed skin there. Your sobs stopped, but you didn’t pull away. His lips moved of their own desire across your skin trailing kisses up your neck to your ear. Once at your earlobe he nibbled it then brought his lips back down to your neck.

   Suddenly you pulled away and rushed out the door, slamming it behind you. He sat there feeling so many things he couldn’t focus on one, so he ran through them all. You were hurting, not a little either, a lot, and he was the cause of it. Through your pain you allowed him to put his lips on you. You’d stood there while he’d lost control of his emotions and wants. Why? He hopped off the table and walked out the room bare-chested and all. When he got to the hall that would take him to his room he stopped. He had two choices, and he knew what was right and what was selfish. He’d done the right thing seven years ago and fought against his selfishness. He knew what that felt like, he knew the result of that path, and he had no intention of walking that path again.

   He turned down the opposite hall, he was done asking for permission and was equally done being anything but what he needed to be that would get him what he wanted. His strides were quick and determined as he climbed the steps at the end of the hall and made it to the deserted hallway at the top of the steps. After you began your relationship you decided to move to one of the lone rooms not wanting anyone to see him sneaking out your room in the mornings. He wondered if you’d kept the room. If you had, the decision was sealed.

   He knocked on the door using your secret knock; tap--tap, pause, tap-tap-tap-tap. His heart pounded anxiously wondering if you were on the other side. After almost a minute, there was no answer. He put his head to the door and groaned. Just then, Nat approached and leaned on the wall. “You all right?” He sniffled and wiped at any stray tears on his face. “Fine.” She nodded, and silence fell between them. She sighed before she spoke again. “There comes a time when we all have to go after what we want, Steve. None of us live a life that affords us any happiness, let alone love. When we have it we should hold on to it with everything we have.” He leaned on the wall beside the door and knew what she spoke was true.

   “I’ve already fucked it up, Nat. She’s engaged. She’s moved on.” Silence. “I know Korral just as well as you do. She is engaged that is the only true fact you just said.” He snapped his head to her; Nat looked at him but didn’t speak again. “You more than any of us deserve a slice of happiness, Cap.” She walked away down the hall. “It’s still her room by the way. Wonder what that means.” Just like that she was gone leaving him alone in the hall again. He stared at the door; he knew the decision was made long ago.

   The door wasn’t locked, he walked in and looked around the room that was still familiar taking care to lock the door behind him. You hadn’t changed anything. Slowly he walked through looking at items in their same places. It was like you were living in seven years ago. Nothing was different. He could hear the water running in the bathroom, and he hesitated for a slight second before he forged ahead. Your sobs became more audible. He walked along the subway tiled floors until he saw your naked back in the shower. His eyes skimmed your body and nothing in him said stop. “Korri.”

   You spun around and stared at him but made no move to cover yourself. Time stood still with the two of you just staring at each other. You scrunched your face, and the tears followed. He walked to you into the shower not caring if he was getting soaked. He wiped your tears and cupped your cheeks. “I didn’t want to hurt you.” You pulled your head back and looked at him as if he was crazy. “Hurt me? You broke me, Steve.” The weight of that hit him, and his heart shattered. “I’m sorry Korri, god I’m so sorry.” You began pushing him away, but he held you firm. “Go away; you’re good at that!” He fought against your increasing angry pushes and hits to his body. If you needed to hurt him so your pain would stop he’d take it. All he wanted to do was take your pain. He kept repeating the words, even though you shouted at him to stop, he didn’t. After a few moments of trying to push him off, you hit his bullet wound making him grunt. He felt the pain radiate through his abdomen around to his back. You pushed him away and slapped him. “Shut up, stop saying it.”

   “I’m sorry.” You slapped him again. “I’m sorry, Korri.” Another slap followed, then another each hit harder than the last. Stil,l he didn’t fight, he stood there and took it only repeating how sorry he was. After the seventh slap you stopped and stared at him. He walked to you; each step he took you took one backward until there was nowhere to go. Your back was pressed against the wet tile. Your chest heaved matching his. He slowly closed the gap between your faces as he lowered his lips to yours. Once they touched everything in him came to life. It was as if he were a thirsty plant and your lips were the first drops of rain in years. Slowly your lips danced each of you testing the other and the situation. You pulled your lips from his and pushed him away. “I hate you!”

   The words hurt worse than the gunshot, but in the same breath, you crashed your lips to his and pulled him to you wrapping your arms around his neck. You kissed him with an intensity that stole his breath. He groaned on your lips and pressed his body to yours; it was a groan you answered with your own moan. Your lips sloppily and hastily moved together until the urgency in him reached a desperate precipice. Your hands made the first move to undress him fully. He clamped his mouth to your neck and sucked your skin into his mouth as his hands pushed at the wet suit he wore. Once the material was below his knees he pulled away to quickly peel it off along with his boots. Once he was free your lips resumed their passionate assault. He lifted you into his arms, and you instinctively wrapped your legs around his back.

   Needing more than he’d ever needed before he thrust up fully sheathing himself in your heat. You tore your lips from his, arched your head back and gasped while clinging to him. He groaned and tried desperately not to topple over. It had been too long since he’d felt like this. He didn’t think he ever would again. It felt like coming home. You felt like home. He didn’t know a person could feel like home, but you were his home. Again, he thrust into you. Your head flung back and hit the wall with a dull “thud,” and he continued pumping his hips. Each connection had you gasping until they turned to shrieks of pleasure. He bit onto your neck and gripped your hips roughly and picked up the speed of which he claimed you. His groans became louder and louder until he shouted out your name.

   “Korri!” Your hands slinked into his hair and pulled his head back, forcing him to look at you. Your eyes were rolled to the back of your head with your mouth wide open. “Aaah!” You pulled his hair harder, then your eyes opened and stared into his eyes. Your anger was not gone. He grabbed your hands and slammed them to the tile walls and held them there and plowed into you all the while keeping you pinned to the wall with the sheer strength of his body. “Oh fuck!”

   He latched his lips to your bare nipple and bit onto it. You began rocking back and forth in unison with each of his thrusts. It made his knees weak enough that you managed to get your hands free to grip onto his hair again. He groaned and turned his back onto the wall, using it as a steadying force. He slid down just a little and stroked into you with precision. Your moans became louder, and he couldn’t help but watch the way your breasts bounced with each connection into you. Soon the only thing audible in the shower was the sound of your competing moans and grunts with the cascading water.

   His release crept up on him when he felt you clench around him for the fourth time. He knew he couldn’t keep it at bay anymore, it had been too long, and he wanted too much. Without thinking, he continued his assail on your body, chasing his pleasure, your moans were music to his ears. He’d missed them—he’d missed you. “Yes Steve, yes!” he pumped into you with three rough thrusts, each one brought a strangled shout from your lips, on the last you gripped him tightly and sank your nails into his back as you shivered through your orgasm. His body joined yours and shook with the sheer power of his own release. He slid down the wall to the floor of the shower, and it was there the two of you remained for countless minutes after.

   After his heartbeat returned to a somewhat normal pace, you stood. The friction between your bodies brought his need back tenfold. He groaned and stared up to you. You didn’t look at him. “Get out. Don’t be here when I come back.” With that you walked out the shower and the bathroom. He sat there stunned, then hurt until he realized that you’d wanted him as much as he’d wanted you. Maybe Anthony was right; it’s not over until it’s over.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[skzm7]

MOBEIUS

BEEZLEBUB’S PURPLE KISS

BUBBLED UP TO SCAR

ITCHIN’ WITH SOMEONE’S SIN

FIRED UP IMPLODING FIST

FEELIN’ FEINT K.O.’ED

SCARLET STAMPED CRAZY! KID

USELESS SHADOW BOXING WALL IS NUMB

JAB HOOK UPPERCUT WHO?

THERE’S A HELTER SKELTER IN SKY CITY

COUNTDOWN TIL IT CLICKS KID

YOU GOT A BAD CASE OF 

WACKO BONKERS LOOPY!

TEN NINE EIGHT

HEY SEVEN

HEYSIX 

WAKE UP FIVE 

COME BACK TO EARTH

PUT ON FOUR YOUR 

THINKING CAP THREE AND GLOVES

ROUND 2 FIGHT!

WIPE OFF THAT STICK

GET YOUR BOTTLE OF LIGHTNING

THROW IT TO THE GROUND

CRACK IT OPEN

YOU’RE TOO BRILLIANT TO BE KEPT IN

LET THE LIONS ROAR LOOSE

FILL UP THE STADIUM

THE MAN WITHIN

DOESN’T GET OUT YOUR ILL

BOX THE OLD WOUNDS DREAMING

AND GET REAL

FALLOUT OF MEMORIES

ROOTED TO FEELINGS

CHAINSAW! HAHAHA

I‘M YOUR SECOND COMING!

SLIDE ON MY LIPS

ENJOY LIKE MANY

THE GRAND CHESSBOARD

OF EBONY AND IVORY

IT’S IN YOUR NATURE

TO GIVE YOURSELF IN

I THINK YOUR SMILE 

HAS TOO MANY TEETH 

FOR A SALESMAN

DING DING ROUND

3, MIND IS MESSY

BODY SO ORPHAN THIN

YOU CAN SEE THE HEARTBREAK 

THROUGH THE SKIN

I CAN DO THIS SO WHY AM I TRIPPING?

BANANA SLIP HEAD SPLITTING

BRAIN FREEZE NO ICE CREAM

BUSY B’S SHADOW BECKONS ME DIVE IN

I WRITHE I WRESTLE I CAVE IN

I KNOW BETTER BUT I’M TOO BUSY DYING

NO ONE SEES MY HEAD’S PURPLE FIRE

DROWNING UNDER THE SURFACE

THESE CANNOT BE MY LAST WORDS

THESE CANNOT BE MY LAST!?

THIS CANNOT BE MY LAST CHANCE

THIS CANNOT BE MY LAST

GASP!

ENTER YOUR UTOPIA

THROUGH THIS GLASS OF MIND

KALEIDOSCOPE VISUAL

TAKE THE CLOCK WITH YOU

SIT ON MY LAP GOOD BOY!

SANTA’S LIST IS INSTANT HERE

YOU’RE A NEW BORN PHENOMENON

NO CREDIT CARD HISTORY

NO RESPONSIBILITY

NO RISK IN THIS

LABYRINTH OF VISIONARY

I’LL HOLD YOUR HAND

I’LL BE YOUR CANARY

FORGET BEING A VICTIM OF CONSCIENCE

WHEN RELIVING YOUR PAST IS SO

M MM MMM DEEEELICIOUS!

AND YOUR LOVED ONES ON EARTH

DON’T NEED YOU ANYWAY

THIS IS WHERE YOU ALWAYS WIN

HERE’S A SICKLE

PLAY GOLF WITH YOUR ENEMIES HEADS

IT’LL TICKLE

HEY WHERE AM I WHAT THE

HELL AM I DOING?

GOING FOR A BIRDIE

CAN ANYBODY HEAR ME?

IN THIS BERMUDA TRIANGLE ZOO

HOURS AND SENSES WHAT DID I DO?

MY COMPASS TURNED INTO A U

DIDN’T REALISE I WAS SO BAD

MAD REVENGE NEVER ENDS

NOW I GOT A CLUE HOW IT STARTED

BECAUSE YOU WERE A COWARD

AND YOU DIDN’T HAVE A CHOICE

HERE YOU HAVE A VOICE

NO! YOU’RE THE PLACEBO EFFECT GONE WRONG

THOUGHT IT WAS WORKING WHEN IT’S BROKE

DIAMOND MIND REFLECT IN STEAD OF WOKE

BECAUSE YOU’RE SICK

AND THIS IS YOUR SONG

WHAT’S THE POINT PLAYING

IF YOU CAN NEVER LOSE A GAME

TIME’S UP WHERE’S THE GONG

YOUR AUCTION IS UP AND

BONG! YOU’RE SOLD

I GOT SO DARK I FORGOT THE SUN

BECAUSE THE NIGHT IS MORE FUN

WHERE’S THE ALARM WHERE’S THE PINCH?

RING RING! IT’S GROUNDHOG DAY BITCH!

ROUND 4 SAW THE PEN AS MIGHTIER

BUT WHAT’S THE POINT OF WORDS

WHEN MONSTERS ONLY HEAR

THE POINT OF THE SWORD

I DECLARE WAR!

LIFT EXCALIBER FROM THE STONE

RECLAIM THE THRONE

IT’S MY RIGHT TO OWN

START A QUEST TO SLAY AND SLICE

THESE SNAKES HISS IN MY HAIR AND DICE

I’VE PAID THE PRICE MEDUSA VANITY

LET’S DESTROY THIS PLACE

WITH DYNAMITE SANITY

DOES YOUR MIND SWIM IN PURPLE FIRE HM?!

MY BURNING EFFIGY?

WRITHING AGONY

WINDOW SHOPPING WAYS TO VICTORY

LAY IN BED CONTINUE THE LIE

WITH NARCISSISTIC OCD

PARANOID ANDRIOD DELUSION DEFICIENCY

SHOOORYUUUUKEN!

GETTING DESPERATE ARE WE?

COULD I INTEREST YOU IN AN ALTER EGO?

OR ARE YOU ALREADY FULL OF YOURSELVES MY DEAR?

WELL YOU’RE HARD TO IGNORE

FLIPSIDE OF THE COIN

YOU’RE THE PASSENGER

I GOT THE RADIO

SEE I REMEMBER

BEING DEALT A BAD HAND 

FROM THE REALER

MADE ME LEAVE THE TABLE

BECAME MY OWN DEALER

BUT ALL I KNEW WAS THE BAD HAND

KEPT ON PLAYING WONDERLAND

DOUBLED DOWN ON WHAT IF’S 

INSTEAD OF I WILL

CLIMB OUTTA THE RABBIT HOLE

BRACE YOURSELF BUSY B

THIS MIGHT HURT A LITTLE

YOU’RE GONNA NEED A PLASTER

‘CAUSE I’M WELDING PETER VENKMAN’S GHOSTBUSTER ZAPPER

YAWN I’M CROSSING THE STREAMS

PAWN TO TURN INTO A KING

ROUND 5

BLACK ALWAYS LAUGH’S LAST

BECAUSE WHITE MOVES FIRST

TO FALL INTO THE TRAP

TIPPY TOES TO THIS BUZZ

FADE YOU HYPNOTIC TO WHO AM I? FUZZ

SEND YOU FIRST CLASS TO WHERE ICE BURNS

WORSE BEFORE I GET BETTER

WHERE HEAVY IS THE HOLLOW

WHERE AGONYS END’S 

IMPOSSIBLE TO FOLLOW

WHERE SOULS ARE SPLIT TO LICK

SWEET SICK TO SWALLOW

WEAKER BEFORE I GET STRONGER

ABORT THE PLAN

REWIND ESCAPE ATTEMPTS

MICE OF MAN

HEY THE TRAP IS LOOSE BUT

I WILL WIN

CIRCUMSTANCE SNIP! OOPS SORRY!

CIRCUMCISION MISSED THE CUT

BALLS GOT LOST WITH THE MARBLES

KERPLUNK!

I WILL SWIM

SIX DRINKS DEEP

WALKING AUTOPSY TURVY

IMPRESS AN INVISIBLE AUDIENCE

AND LOOK AT ME! TROPHY

I WILL MAKE SENSE

I WILL BECOME KING

YOUR BODY’S OUT OF ORDER

TAKE THE STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN

FIND AIZEN AT THE DOOR

TAKE A TEARS HINT YOU’RE GOING DOWN

WHERE NEVER IS THE FLOOR

THIS IS EASY PULL OUT THE STITCH

I CAN BAMBOOZLE YOU SO MUCH

I’M INSIDE OUT LETS SWITCH

JUPITER CAN YOU SEE THE SPOT I’M IN?

I’VE BEEN UP AND DOWN

WITH CHOICE AND REASON

NOTICE PICKING NOTHING

NEVER BEEN IN SEASON

FASHION DISASTER

THIS MAN WENT MISSING IN ACTION

SAVE THE MILK CARTON 

TAKE YOUR PSYCHO STAMP AND COLLAR

I’LL GET US HELP KISS IT BETTER 

MAKE US SOUND

THIS YO-YO SOUL’S TURNED THE TABLES A

ROUND! 6 I’M ALWAYS BESIDE

A PART OF PERSONALITY

MOBEIUS SHYS

UNTIL IT MADE ME

MEMORY WITH A TWIST OF FANTASY

SOON GAVE ME A VOICE OF MALICE

NOW IT’S MY TURN TO EAT WONDERLAND’S ALICE

AND WITH PURPLE STAINED LIPS MWAH!

PIERCE THIS PSYCHIC PLACE RAW

SHOUT HALLEYUYAH AND A REST IN PEACE

SO PRINCE BEEZLEBUB CAN RISE TO THE SEAT

ALL THE WOMEN I WANT TO KISS

ALL THE MEN I WANT TO KICK

THIS WORLD I WANT TO RULE

I’M THE ONE WHOS GONA LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER FUCK

YOUUUAAAYOURRRCANTRRDOGGTHISHHHWITHHHHOUTHHMYAASAYSO!

ROUND 7!!!

THISISMYSCREAMMMMMMMMMMM!!!

I’LL BE MY OWN HERO

LET ME LIVE GET MY SOUL SURE

FIND A GOOD HAND

TO RAISE ME UP

MAKE A STAND

BE WHOLE ONCE MORE

SPEAK THE TRUE

BREAK MOBEIUS’ ILLUSION

DOUBT WHAT NO ONE ELSE SENSES - FAITH IN ABILITY

WHEN THEY SWAP SEATS ON BELIEFS SEESAW

YOU’LL KICK YOUR OWN ASS 

AND STROKE YOUR ELBOW

RECREATING EVENTS LOST MY

MEMORYS LOGIC OF WHAT’S NEXT

MOVE FORWARD OR BE

STUCK IN THE MUD WITH YOUR INVISIBLE FRIEND?

THINK I FOUND MY HAPPY THOUGHT

HEY PIXIE I CAUGHT MY SHADOW

SORRY I SPLIT LICKEDY LET’S GO

BUSY B AIN’T GOING DOWN EASY

BORN A FIGHTER FROM CHAOS FIRE

ORIGINAL PRIMORDAL METAPHYSICAL DESIRE

RESISTANCE IS FUTILE KID JUST RETIRE

THIS IS MY POWER THIS IS MY HOUR

TO TAKE BACK WHO I AM

AND GET OUTTA L.A.’S TRAFFIC JAM

DISCOVERY IS THE WISH OF THE SOUL

ROAD RAGE BREAK OUT INEVITABLE

NO ONE CAN SOLVE THIS ALONE

IF YOU ARE YOUR OWN PROBLEM

I’M THE MYSTERIOUS WAY

CAVE TO MY SAY

IN HERE I’M KING

I’M THE PURPOSE

YOU’RE THE HORSE

YOU SERVE ME

LOOK UP AS YOU

BOW BEFORE BUB

RATHER TAKE ON THE WORLD

BRAVE DON’T FEAR THE GRAVE

FACE THE MUSIC

FACE THE ENEMY

ANSWER’S ALREADY HERE

SEEING GHOULS OF DEMISE

OR ANGELS IN DISGUISE

ONLY THAT YOU DECIDE

NO ONE EVER FAUGHT FOR YOU

I WAS TEACHING YOU HOW TO FIGHT

ALL YOU NEEDED IS THE SIGHT

WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET

WALLS OF STEEL AND STONE ARE A WEAK PRISON

MIRRORED WALLS OF SKIN AND BONE

THEY’VE DONE THEIR JOB PRETTY

SURE YOU’RE TOO LATE THIS IS

ALL MINE FOR THE TAKING

MY HEART’S PURE

YOU CAN’T PUNCH THIS LIGHT

OUT OF MY FUTURE

EITHER SHAKE MY HAND OR EAT MY FIST

STEP BACK INTO THE RING

LET’S SEE WHAT YOU GOT KID

THINK I’M GONNA BE ALRIGHT

I GOT WORK TO DO

LET’S FIGHT!

***

From “The Silent Album”

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08DHMQ673

[spursthatgojinglejangle]

Home ||  Dribbles and Drabbles

So...I’m in love with this song.

And I’ve been wanting to explore Cara’s relationship with her family a bit more since....well, since I want to.

Forewarning, there is death in this drabble (what else is new with me though).  I cried.  I cried a lot....

The call came in sometime after midnight.  One of the women that lived in the town found her mother laying in the kitchen.  She hadn’t heard from her in a couple days and grew worried. She had fallen, broken her femur and would be unable to walk.

Cara canceled her job and went home for the first time in years.

Being back in the old house, surrounded by memories she would rather forget, hurt more than she could ever describe.  Her mother’s condition, while it improved slightly, still wasn’t enough to keep her going for the long run.  The doctors explained that she was older - getting her hopes up that she would make a full recovery wouldn’t do her any good.  Cara could do nothing but nod, hanging her head and muttering words of affirmation.

She knew it, just as much as her mother did.

Walkers were bought, automated chairs installed so she could make the climb up the stairs to her bed room.  Finally, Eliza gave up and decided to just stay in bed.  “I’m tired, baby,” She mumbled one day.  “Can I eat up here?”

She wanted to beg, to plead with her mother to get up and pull out of the slump.  This wasn’t the mother she wanted to remember - she wanted to remember her laughing with Aaron, to be running around after animals and a man who refused to sit down.  She wanted to remember her staying up late into the night while they sipped wine and talked about the cute delivery boy who dropped off their pizza or how Aaron had almost gotten that old truck started.  She wanted to see her blond hair a mess on the top of her head, watch her blow the little tufts that fell out of place.

She didn’t want...this.  She didn’t want the skeletal remains of Eliza to grip her hand.  She was always tired now, always quiet.  She tried, tried to get up and cook.  Tried to make breakfast or keep a conversation going.  She had trouble hearing, trouble speaking.  She was just...weak.  And no amount of want or desire or praying or crying would change that.  Tears did nothing to help her get out of bed, begging before bed did nothing to help her get her strength back.

“Do you know if she has a will?  It would probably be best to get her affairs in order.”

The will was found in the nightstand by her mother’s bed.  Cara read it over to her mother, made sure everything was in order.  Her mother didn’t seem to think much about it - she was ready.  And that was the worst part.  She was so ready to go, so ready to be with Aaron and Papi and Memi, with Lizzie. She didn’t want to be there anymore, to be fighting the inevitable.  She wasn’t nearly as strong as she used to be.

“Someone’s going to have to take care of the old car in the garage.”

“....don’t sell it.”

“I won’t, mom.”

“Aar....Aaron almost got it working.”  She added quietly, eyes closed as she dozed. 

Cara watched from from her spot in the chair, trying to keep calm.  Blue eyes scanned over the arms that rested on the plaid comforter, the dark spots prominent against the near transparent skin.  The white hair was sprawled around her, too thin to do anything with.  She tried not to think about when she would crawl up into this bed, between her and the blankets.  She tried not to think about the whispers they would share under the warmth, secrets that she couldn’t remember.

“He...he loved that car...stupid thing.”  Her lips parted in a soft smile.

God it was so weak.

She reached up and wiped the tear, “Yeah...yeah he did.”  It’ll stay right there.  Right where he left it.  If not for Aaron, for her.

“Mom,” She reached over, gently taking her hand but her words fell short.

Cara wanted to tell her she didn’t have to stay there.  She didn’t want her to be in pain anymore, to feel so heavy and stuck.  She didn’t want her to have to fight if she was scared for her.  She would be alright.  If anything, she had been taught how to be strong.  If not by trail, by example.

For so many years, her mother was a rock.  From holding her as she sobbed when her Papi passed, to taking care of her after Lizzie.  No matter what happened, Cara knew there would be at least one pair of open arms waiting for her at home.  No questions asked, no pressure to explain. Her mother would sit and hold her hand, stroke her hair so she could sleep.  She drove away nightmares, hushed the tears, and soothed the aches in her chest.  Her touch was always so warm, so giving.  And she never asked for anything.

She gave the hand - so thin and so cold - a squeeze.  “Mom, you...you know I love you, right?”

She nodded slowly, “I love you too, Cara Bear.”

Her free hand reached up, wiping the tears as best as she could.  “You...you were the best mom I could ever ask for.  I’m so sorry I couldn’t save you.  I’m so sorry I wasn’t around enough.  I should...I should have...”

“I love you, Cara Bear.”

“Mom, you don’t have to hold on for me.  You can...” She choked, covering her face with her hand so she didn’t have to see.  Her heart was tearing, breaking...

She didn’t want to say it.  She didn’t want her mother to leave.  What was she going to do without her?  Who would she confide in?  Who would she turn too when the nightmares got too much?  Who would know how to fix the meals she burned or sit with her while she waited for the take out that she would order? 

Who would she share everything with?  Who would...

“You were an angel, mom.  I love you so much.”

“....I...I love you...I’m...so...so proud...”

“...”  Another choked sob, she was gripping her hand so tightly, her entire body shaking.  “I know, mom.  I know.”

The room fell quiet - aside from the shaking breathes Cara was taking.  Time seemed to slow down, the only thing that existed was that room, that chair, and that bed.  There was nothing - no work, no car, no affects that needed going over for the hundredth time in a week.  She didn’t want to to feel how loose her mother’s grip was.  She didn’t want to think about how soft her breathing was - just barely above a whisper.

It’s okay, Cara heard her mother say, ever so softly.  It’s going to be okay.  I’m only a call away, Cara Bear.

She looked up, trying to keep her breathing steady.  Eliza’s eyes were closed, her grip limp in her hand.  For a moment, her heart stopped.  Her body was frozen, staring at her mother as her mind tried to make sense of...

“Mom...?”  Cara tried, reaching up and gently shaking her shoulder.  “...Mom?”

She didn’t move, made no noise.  The space was now filled with...nothing.  The woman once so full of life was...gone. 

For a split second, the woman didn’t know what to do.  Part of her wanted to cry for help, wanted to scream for someone to come and...bring her mother back.  There had to be something that could be done, something that could make everything...

Cara swallowed and wiped her eyes.  With a sniffle, she pulled away from her mother and stood up.  Her footsteps were quiet as she crossed the room and slipped out the door.  Past photos of weddings, first days of school, snips of the lives that occupied the now empty house, she made her way to the kitchen.  She put a pot of water onto the stove, and prepared two cups for tea.  She stood there, waiting to hear the whistle.  If asked now, Cara couldn’t tell you what she thought about - if she thought anything at all.

One cup of tea was placed on one side of the table while Cara sat down across from it.  With trembling hands, she remained in that spot for hours.  Her eyes settled on the cup of tea, watching as the steam slowly faded into the air.  Her mind ran through memories, through heartbreak and tears, joy and giggles.  She tried to find reason in the wood, tried to come up with a solution in the minutes spent alone.

In the end, she found nothing and the tea was dumped down the sink.

As promised, the car stayed in the garage - overcome with rust and old age.  The food left in the refrigerator was tossed out and the kitchen cleaned.  Dresses were folded and put away in storage, chairs and couches covered to protect from dust.  Cards and flowers were thrown away, gifts packed away where they would never be seen again.

It took a day to finish packing up the house.

Fall had set in, the fog covering the front porch steps as Cara stood.  Her jacket hung heavy around her shoulders as she stared into the dark house.  The walls were bare, the plants gone.  Any sign that a family had lived there at all was gone.  She overlooked the living room, swallowing thickly.  For a moment, she could see shadows of a young girl dancing with her mother, an older man rubbing his knee as he smiled.  A grandmother shook her head, a wry smile on her face as she focused on her cross stitch.  The grandfather laughed and clapped his hands for them.

Her chest twisted, tightening for a moment.

“...good bye, guys.“

[viralleakszone-blog]

How to Make a Cornucopia

Typically filled with an overflowing variety of fresh or artificial produce and flowers, cornucopias make festive centerpieces for a foyer, mantel or buffet table, especially for Thanksgiving. Although you can purchase a ready-made wicker cornucopia, making your own is easy and more affordable, plus you can make it any size you desire. This burlap-covered cornucopia, which hides a chicken wire base, is wrapped in ribbons of raffia so it looks fresh from the harvest.

Things You'll Need 1-inch poultry netting (chicken wire), 24 inches wide Cut-resistant gloves Metal snips or wire cutters Flexible measuring tape 3 yards of burlap Scissors Hot glue gun Silicon fingertip protectors Cotton or hemp twine Raffia

Step 1: Cut the Wire You can purchase chicken wire, or poultry netting, at the hardware store. The most common chicken wire that's available is 1-inch chicken wire, which has hexagonal openings of about 1 inch. Select a roll that is 24 inches wide. Put on your heavy-duty gloves, and unroll the chicken wire.

Use metal snips or wire cutters to cut a piece that is about 24 inches long, so you have a 24-by-24-inch square piece of chicken wire. Don't worry about measuring the chicken wire for an exact size — just eyeball a square.

Flatten this square piece of chicken wire by bending it back where it curves.

Step 2: Make a Cone With one corner of the square piece facing you, roll the chicken wire into a cone shape, allowing the left and right edges to overlap so that the opening of the cone is about 12 inches in diameter.

To keep the cone from unraveling, hook the cut wire ends to the other side of the chicken wire. Twist the wire ends; the chicken wire will maintain its shape.

Step 3: Fold in the Extra Because you started with a square, one corner of the chicken wire at the opening will be sticking out after you form the cone.

Bend this corner into the opening, using the loose wire ends to connect this flap to the adjacent chicken wire.

Step 4: Bend the Cornucopia's Tail Bend the tail of the cone to form the curve of the cornucopia's tail. The chicken wire is very flexible.

Step 5: Measure the Opening Use a tape measure to determine the circumference of the cornucopia's opening. In the cornucopia pictured, the opening is 37 inches around.

Step 6: Attach a Burlap Lining Cut a piece of burlap with scissors that is about 3 inches wider than the circumference of the opening and about 24 inches long. For example, because the opening of this cornucopia is 37 inches around, I cut a piece that was 40 inches by 24 inches. Line the interior of the cornucopia with this piece of burlap, folding the burlap over the rim. Because the burlap is a bit wider than the circumference, you will be able to overlap the lining at the rim.

Hot glue the burlap on the rim to the burlap on the other side of the chicken wire. Because you will not be gluing solid pieces of fabric — the burlap has a loose weave — the hot glue can burn your fingers. To prevent burns, wear silicone tips on the fingers that will be touching the burlap. Silicone tips are available in the crafts store next to the hot glue guns.

Step 7: Wrap the Exterior Cut four to five strips of burlap that are 4 inches wide by about 40 inches long. Wrap the first strip around the cornucopia, overlapping the burlap rim by about 1 inch, and hot glue this strip in place. Have the ends meet on the bottom of the cornucopia so they are not visible.

Continue wrapping the strips of burlap around the cornucopia, overlapping the strips and hot gluing them in place. As the cornucopia narrows, you will not need the entire length of the 40-inch strip of burlap. Just cut off any excess and have the ends meet underneath the cornucopia.

Step 8: Glue the Tail Closed Squeeze some hot glue in the tail end of the burlap and pinch it closed. Again, wear silicone tips to protect your fingers and thumb.

Step 9: Tie Up Hanks of Raffia The body of the cornucopia is complete, but adding ropes, or hanks, of raffia gives the cornucopia a rustic look while hiding the seams of the burlap strips. Start by gathering a bunch of raffia that is about 1/2 inch thick and 40 inches long, and tie a knot at one end with a roll of twine. Do not cut the twine yet.

Twist the twine around the raffia at 2- to 3-inch intervals to form a rope.

When you get to the end of the raffia hank, cut the twine and tie a knot with it. The messier your raffia hank is, the better it looks. All those loose, random pieces of raffia will make the cornucopia look more natural.

Step 10: Attach the Raffia Hank Hot glue the raffia hank to the rim of the cornucopia. If the raffia is longer than you need, just overlap it for thicker coverage.

Step 11: Cover the Seams Continue forming raffia hanks for the remainder of the cornucopia, hot gluing them to cover the seams in the burlap. Even though the cornucopia narrows, continue making the hanks 40 inches long, as you can run them continuously around the burlap or overlap them wherever the raffia looks thin.

Step 12: Decorate the Cornucopia Decorate the cornucopia with fresh or artificial pumpkins, gourds, fruits, vegetables or flowers, and make it the centerpiece of your Thanksgiving decorating. There's plenty to admire with this horn of plenty.

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How to Make a Cornucopia

http://www.viralleakszone.com/how-to-make-a-cornucopia/

How to Make a Cornucopia

DIY cornucopia, Thanksgiving cornucopia, Thanksgiving decoration

Typically filled with an overflowing variety of fresh or artificial produce and flowers, cornucopias make festive centerpieces for a foyer, mantel or buffet table, especially for Thanksgiving. Although you can purchase a ready-made wicker cornucopia, making your own is easy and more affordable, plus you can make it any size you desire. This burlap-covered cornucopia, which hides a chicken wire base, is wrapped in ribbons of raffia so it looks fresh from the harvest. Things You’ll Need

1-inch poultry netting (chicken wire), 24 inches wide Cut-resistant gloves Metal snips or wire cutters Flexible measuring tape 3 yards of burlap Scissors Hot glue gun Silicon fingertip protectors Cotton or hemp twine Raffia Step 1: Cut the Wire You can purchase chicken wire, or poultry netting, at the hardware store. The most common chicken wire that’s available is 1-inch chicken wire, which has hexagonal openings of about 1 inch. Select a roll that is 24 inches wide. Put on your heavy-duty gloves, and unroll the chicken wire. Use metal snips or wire cutters to cut a piece that is about 24 inches long, so you have a 24-by-24-inch square piece of chicken wire. Don’t worry about measuring the chicken wire for an exact size — just eyeball a square. Flatten this square piece of chicken wire by bending it back where it curves. Step 2: Make a Cone With one corner of the square piece facing you, roll the chicken wire into a cone shape, allowing the left and right edges to overlap so that the opening of the cone is about 12 inches in diameter. To keep the cone from unraveling, hook the cut wire ends to the other side of the chicken wire. Twist the wire ends; the chicken wire will maintain its shape. Step 3: Fold in the Extra Because you started with a square, one corner of the chicken wire at the opening will be sticking out after you form the cone. Bend this corner into the opening, using the loose wire ends to connect this flap to the adjacent chicken wire. Step 4: Bend the Cornucopia’s Tail Bend the tail of the cone to form the curve of the cornucopia’s tail. The chicken wire is very flexible. Step 5: Measure the Opening Use a tape measure to determine the circumference of the cornucopia’s opening. In the cornucopia pictured, the opening is 37 inches around. Step 6: Attach a Burlap Lining Cut a piece of burlap with scissors that is about 3 inches wider than the circumference of the opening and about 24 inches long. For example, because the opening of this cornucopia is 37 inches around, I cut a piece that was 40 inches by 24 inches. Line the interior of the cornucopia with this piece of burlap, folding the burlap over the rim. Because the burlap is a bit wider than the circumference, you will be able to overlap the lining at the rim. Hot glue the burlap on the rim to the burlap on the other side of the chicken wire. Because you will not be gluing solid pieces of fabric — the burlap has a loose weave — the hot glue can burn your fingers. To prevent burns, wear silicone tips on the fingers that will be touching the burlap. Silicone tips are available in the crafts store next to the hot glue guns. Step 7: Wrap the Exterior Cut four to five strips of burlap that are 4 inches wide by about 40 inches long. Wrap the first strip around the cornucopia, overlapping the burlap rim by about 1 inch, and hot glue this strip in place. Have the ends meet on the bottom of the cornucopia so they are not visible. Continue wrapping the strips of burlap around the cornucopia, overlapping the strips and hot gluing them in place. As the cornucopia narrows, you will not need the entire length of the 40-inch strip of burlap. Just cut off any excess and have the ends meet underneath the cornucopia. Step 8: Glue the Tail Closed Squeeze some hot glue in the tail end of the burlap and pinch it closed. Again, wear silicone tips to protect your fingers and thumb. Step 9: Tie Up Hanks of Raffia The body of the cornucopia is complete, but adding ropes, or hanks, of raffia gives the cornucopia a rustic look while hiding the seams of the burlap strips. Start by gathering a bunch of raffia that is about 1/2 inch thick and 40 inches long, and tie a knot at one end with a roll of twine. Do not cut the twine yet. Twist the twine around the raffia at 2- to 3-inch intervals to form a rope. When you get to the end of the raffia hank, cut the twine and tie a knot with it. The messier your raffia hank is, the better it looks. All those loose, random pieces of raffia will make the cornucopia look more natural. Step 10: Attach the Raffia Hank Hot glue the raffia hank to the rim of the cornucopia. If the raffia is longer than you need, just overlap it for thicker coverage. Step 11: Cover the Seams Continue forming raffia hanks for the remainder of the cornucopia, hot gluing them to cover the seams in the burlap. Even though the cornucopia narrows, continue making the hanks 40 inches long, as you can run them continuously around the burlap or overlap them wherever the raffia looks thin. Step 12: Decorate the Cornucopia Decorate the cornucopia with fresh or artificial pumpkins, gourds, fruits, vegetables or flowers, and make it the centerpiece of your Thanksgiving decorating. There’s plenty to admire with this horn of plenty.