#filed under: reasons i need to learn how to draw

[andmaybegayer]

Last Monday of the Week 2024-11-11

Getting into situations

Listening: New job which means I have need for a quick and easy source of music that I can throw down on any device with internet while I figure out exactly where I draw the line on mixing personal music files with corporate hardware. Hence, soma.fm, a really good family of internet radio stations that I enjoy a lot.

There's several stations here but to call out ones I like in no particular order:

Beat Blender: Slower house music and electronica

Metal Detector: What it says on the tin, mixed metals

Sonic Universe: Weird jazz

Secret Agent: Normal jazz

SF 10-33: The San Francisco emergency radio broadcast channel mixed with ambient music

Vaporwaves: Look we all have to get stupid sometime

Watching: Movie Night was also a sort of belated Diwali Night because a friend of mine has been getting extremely into indian food, so we watched "Sita Sings the Blues", an 82 minute, Creative Commons, mostly one-woman animation project that is a retelling of the Ramayana and also a breakup jukebox jazz musical.

There's about 30 minutes of a decent movie in here and another 15-20 minutes of the breakup part that would be hard to cut since it's the reason it exists. It's an animation from 2008 and you can see that it's exactly what it needs to be to run on one person who knows Flash reasonably well. The "blues" part is because there's numerous musical segments that use pre-existing 1920's jazz numbers to set the tone which reportedly cost the author tens of thousands of dollars to license, and she's now a free culture advocate so this is how you get Cory Doctorows I guess.

Is it good? I mean there's some really good parts. The legend is delivered in the form of three shadow puppets half-remembering the story to put it together which is very endearing in a Bill Wurtz History Of Japan kind of way. The amount of effort on display for 2008 is enormous. The concept is impressive, in that you found all these songs, but you could have probably cut the songs and got this down to a tight 40.

Reading: Work! Documentation! Learning so much about [REDACTED]. Very weird not working in an open source company again.

Also started The Book of All Skies on the metro the other day, and have gotten to the end of the first act. Compelling! Love an Egan, one of very few authors who can put a topology lesson into a book without it sucking ass.

Making: Made Gulab Jamun for movie night. From spreading my diwali cooking over more than three days I'm learning that actually this shit is easy if you don't try to cram it all into three days. I should make this stuff more often.

Playing: Poking and fiddling with things a little. Still not in the headspace to pick up a full game again. Once I have a schedule I can get back into video games but when I don't have a schedule that includes video games.

Tools and Equipment: Keyd is the new-ish hotness for client-side remapping of keyboard keys. It's not quite a custom build, but it's close.

Allows you to get 99% of the way to whatever zany custom mapping you want under Linux with fairly universal coverage and minimal faff in a very compact and manageable package.

[mysticetus]

on the topic of diy hrt as ive seen it going around the dash a few times, i want to offer what i can in terms of help as i got on hrt in secret while still living with my parents. i cant give advice for paths i didnt take (getting the hrt itself online) but i can detail the process i experienced so you know what to expect if you pursue.

i highly recommend seeing if there is a planned parenthood in your area and if it offers gender affirming hormone therapy. i had a couple things that made this an option for me that may be barriers for others - i was over 18, and they do not offer informed consent to minors. i also had a job that allowed me to pay for the visit and the prescription. lastly i forced myself to learn how to drive so i could get to the planned parenthood and the pharmacy.

for cost, i recommend checking beforehand if planned parenthood accepts your insurance. They did not accept mine so i had to pay out of pocket for the appointment. Luckily they have a sliding scale system that charges based on your monthly income. The amount changes (and this may vary by region as well), so you can call them for a cost estimate. As someone going for testosterone, my visits have cost between $39 and $63 out of pocket.

For me getting HRT occurred in 2 phases: A telehealth call where they told me about the effects of HRT and then had me digitally sign an informed consent form. And then an in-person visit to my local PP office to get my blood pressure and hemoglobin (finger prick) checked. I then walked out with a T prescription.

For bloodwork, planned parenthood offers this service as well but it was a “strongly recommended but not required” option for me. I did eventually get my levels tested through PP but it cost me ~$40 because of lack of insurance. i later learned i could get my bloodwork done for free at quest diagnostics, for which PP sent in an order that automatically went into quest’s system and all i had to do was make an appointment online filed under “all other tests” … in my area quest can be found in grocery stores. I recommend looking into quest for bloodwork if your insurance would cover it.

Estrogen and progesterone are not controlled substances (often used in birth control), but testosterone is since it can be abused as a steroid. so if you are pursuing T this may present challenges - in my experience it makes it hard for me to change pharmacies without calling planned parenthood first, and you need to present ID when picking it up.

At first i swore by gel and not injectable because i was afraid of accessing needles, and i used goodrx coupons to get gel at a reasonable price. I do not recommend this as it is not sustainable, goodrx coupons are great but always changing. Unfortunately if you do diy hrt you are probably going to be doing injections. i tried for several months to get gel in a sustainable way but the only way i was able to do this was when i had insurance that would cover it (which i since lost access to).

You can get needles and syringes in bulk (100 for like $10) on amazon. Your prescription will probably include an order of needles and syringes but pharmacies are generally not awesome to get them through, because they tend to cost more and be out of stock…. for subq i use 25g 5/8” needles to INJECT, and 18g 1.5” needles to DRAW. i use 1 ml syringes with a LUER LOCK. make sure the needles and syringes have the same locking mechanism so they can connect to each other. the alternative to a luer lock is a slip tip, which you do not want.

Even though on the bottle it says INTRAMUSCULAR USE ONLY, i and many other trans people do subcutaneous as the needles are smaller and less painful. “subq” injects into the layer of fat beneath the skin and releases the hormones slower over time. I personally inject into my stomach in the area below my belly button - i pinch the fat and inject at a 90° angle. there are detailed videos on how to do a subcutaneous self injection on youtube, and here is planned parenthood's guide.

if you are scared of needles, i am too - i used to black out when i had to get a shot. i can say that subcutaneous rarely hurts and its definitely tolerable to me. i know its freaky to inject into your stomach but the fat layers there make it pretty painless. if you pinch your fat your nerves focus on the pressure your fingers are making, and as long as you hold the needle like a dart and inject quickly you barely notice it.

For questions i recommend looking on reddit. there are many subreddits dedicated to DIY hrt as well as logistical questions in the context of navigating pharmacies and doctors. And, i am always happy to offer what help i can.

[whovianwatchingstartrek]

A Whovian Watches Star Trek for the First Time: Part 114 - Spock is on the Run

Star Trek: Discovery - Season 2 Episode 3 - Point of Light

With Christmas over, I can get back to doing this properly.

This time, we're still on the lookout for Red Angel Signals and for any clues about Spock's situation. Sylvia Tilly is still seeing the ghost of her childhood friend May. Discovery stumbles across Sarek's ship, who requests to transport someone over. Everyone expects it to be Sarek, but it turns out to actually be his wife.

After the Intro we cut to the Klingon Empire, and things seem to be going well under L'Rell's rule. The Klingon houses are all together, even if there it a bit of tension about Tyler/Voq's presence.

Back on Discovery, we find out that Amanda tried to visit Spock in his psychiatric ward, but they wouldn't let her see him, and apparently any info about his situation is being kept secret, even from Family. So, she stole his medical file, and hands it off to Michael who in turn takes it to Captain Pike.

After a bit of Convincing, Pike calls up the Facility, but tactfully doesn't mention Amanda or the Stolen File, he simply words his request as a simple check from a captain, and we find out that apparently Spock escaped and is wanted for murder. This call convinces Pike to allow Michael to crack open the medical file.

We get this really good scene with Amanda opening up about how she regrets raising Spock in the way she did, and wishing he would have been allowed to express his emotion more, but this is interrupted by drawings of the Red Angel flickering through in the medical file, and then further interrupted by a call from Ash Tyler, which Michael needs to take. Michael's call with Ash is just a general catch up, and a nice heart to heart, but nothing immediately pressing. Later, we do find out that L'Rell and Voq had a child together, a complete surprise to Ash. L'Rell didn't tell Ash because she wanted him to be able to return to a human life without any need to return to Chronos. L'Rell knows that Ash called Michael and basically has seen the writing on the wall from Day 1. The way she wants to protect Ash/Voq's happiness is really sweet. Ash says he wishes to remain committed to staying on Klingon though, and agrees to raise the child. As to go to meet him however, they find the child has been kidnapped by one of rogue noble houses. We get a pretty good action scene out of it, although I wish it was a lit a bit better, it fell into the trap of thinking Visually Dark = Good. L'Rell and Ash lose their fight however, but are rescued by none other than Georgiou, who for some reason has a vested interest in L'Rell remaining the Chancellor of the Klingon empire

On Discovery's Bridge, where the Command Training Program people are beginning their "Shadow Exercises" which is a lot less badass than it sounds. Basically, they're studying directly under another officer. Sylvia, still her ghost, is studying under Captain Pike himself, which is definitely a golden opportunity. They have built him to be considered one of the best captains in the fleet, after all.

Apparently May's ghost is urgent to talk to a Captain, but not Pike, and not Saru because what she described sounds Human. I really wonder where this ghost falls on the Malice vs Incompetence Spectrum, throughout this sequence it does seem like she's pushing to block Sylvia from command. Pike notices something is up, but it's too late because May pushes Sylvia into an open outburst, which, because only she can see may, everyone on bridge thinks is directed towards Pike. I really like the idea of this ghost as kind of a metaphor stress or pushing yourself too hard or something, she did first appear in a scene where Saru gave her a little pep-talk about that.

Elsewhere, Michael's conversation with Amanda continues, and we learn a bit more about the Red Angel. Apparently the first time it appeared for Spock was during an incident where Michael ran away from home, and it told Spock exactly where she was. Additionally, we find out a bit more about what happened to damage Spock and Michael's relationship so much. Apparently, Michael Traumatised him to protect him from the logic extremists, because he kept following her around everywhere. We don't find out exactly what.

After both Michael and Sylvia's emotional moments, they both meet up in their bunks, and Sylvia finally opens up about how she's seeing a ghost. Michael manages to build Sylvia up a bit, which was really nice to see. And also, she manages to throw down a bit of logic about her situation: May isn't a hallucination, and whatever she is, she isn't the real Ghost of May. Additionally, because Michael has held a rock from the Asteroid and not suffered this effect, it must be connected to the Spores, and they agree to visit Paul Stamets.

Paul and Saru, now informed on Sylvia's situation get work and find out that May is a spore from the Terran Universe, but they make quick work of Extracting her. The fungal organism is huge however, and ends up contained.

I enjoyed this episode, especially Sylvia and May stuff, although I do wish we could have got a few more episodes of weird ghost stuff before it was resolved, I guess. The Klingon stuff was also great here. Apparently Georgiou is part of a black-ops unit called Section 31, I'm really interested to see where that goes now that she's back in play. Overall a pretty good episode.

[goodbyenorthernlights]

I'm curious to know if you've pulled some of Rezo's vibes into your characterisation of Saejid or did you perhaps already intend to draw some inspo from him when coming up with Saejid's premise. :3

Not at all, honestly! I didn't even know Rezo existed when I was developing Saejid- I was vaguely aware of Slayers as an anime I had tried watching as a teenager and only seen the first episode of before going "Ehhh this isn't my thing."

Saejid was originally based on a character I came up with as a teenager for a Gaia Online RP where the antagonists were themed around the idea of childhood fears- the monster under the closet, that sort of thing- and proto!Saejid (his name has been lost to the sands of time/my memory, alas) was meant to be the anthropomorphic personification of Iatrophobia (the fear of doctors) because finding doctors scary struck me as something kids do a lot. So I had this concept of a sadistic doctor archetype already just lying around.

(Proto!Saejid also was based off of a random drawing I'd found online, probably via searching something like "anime doctor" on photobucket and using what I found as a FC, because that was what you did on Gaia Online. Art theft was unfortunately widespread and not recognized as theft. This is actually one of the reasons I eventually stopped using the website for RP entirely tbh, once I learned more about art theft and why it's a problem I wasn't able to strike a comfortable balance between "most RPs expect you to provide a picture of your character" and. Not committing art theft about it. Anyway, tangent!

And proto!Saejid's FC wasn't of Rezo btw, it was... Some white haired anime dude in a labcoat with a :| expression that I think came from a yaoi manga originally.)

Anywho I had this concept lying around and I remember we wound up discussing the concept of Dragonsbayne as a farming sim with the characters as marriage candidates, because I was playing a lot of Rune Factory 4, and for a protag I made up this gender-neutral design I called Luka...

don't ask me how the pattern on their scarf works And Luka I had the concept that it would turn out they would be an amnesiac homunculus, and so I figured I'd make up a character who would have been Luka's creator.

I remembered this vague concept I had still floating in my brain and, never one to turn down the opportunity to draw a bishonen, wound up designing Saejid.

I didn't get into Slayers, and Rezo, until late 2021- digging thru my files, it looks like Saejid's original concept art was drawn sometime in February 2020.

isn't the ms paint glorious

Anyway, Rezo and Saejid do have some noticeable similarities- both of them are "mad scientist" archetypes with kind of a "usually cool-headed intellectual" thing going on, and both of them are very manipulative characters. And also they're both anime pretty boys. So it's likely that there's going to be some more overlap in characterization when I write either of them.

That said they are actually still very different characters in my head! I think the key is in their storylines/motivations. Saejid is a character who starts out in a very good and secure place for him, personally, where he has power over other people and everything he needs and wants. When his world starts changing and the fae community starts opening up to other people, he panics and schemes and conspires to keep his position from potentially changing- even though his behaviour ultimately puts him in a worse place than he'd have probably wound up if he'd just gone with the flow.

Basically he's like a billionaire who's mad that he might have to start paying more taxes and giving his employees health insurance.

Rezo on the other hand... My personal take is admittedly controversial in the fandom but I see him as someone who has spent his entire life struggling in the literal and metaphorical dark under the manipulations of an outside force, fruitlessly pursuing something he thinks will release him from his own misery. He's someone stuck in a genuinely bad situation and trying ruthlessly to get out of it.

If I had to compare Saejid to a Slayers character... Rezo would be in there in terms of demeanor and methodology, but so would Halcyform and a touch of Hellmaster. But in terms of motivation Saejid's, I think, actually closer to being the Supreme Elder from Slayers TRY. He wants to keep a "safe" status quo and doesn't care who suffers because of it, as long as they aren't someone he sees as "his people." (And by the end maybe not even that.)

[lostintheproperty]

WELCOME TO THE PROPERTY!!!

vvv more under the cut vvv

Hi my name is Violet! I don’t really know how to use tumblr that well but im learning! I use she/they pronouns, im a minor, and I’m lesbian! I do have a girlfriend so please respect that! The majority of stuff im gonna be waterparks related or anything to do with stuff im interested in. I’ve been a parxie for 4 years and I’ve met them twice. I do tend to talk a lot and im a little slow at understanding things sometimes, so please be patient with me! I don’t usually use tone tags, but if you need me to I gladly will! My humor is pretty inappropriate and If you aren’t comfortable with it please let me know! I also am a pretty shy person at first, I promise im not ignoring you if I don’t answer!

INTERESTS/ARTISTS I LIKE!!!!

I am interested in a LOT of things, so this list is gonna be hella long!

ARTISTS!!

Waterparks, Billie Eilish, Towa Bird, Jeff Buckley, Chappell Roan, Conan Gray, Stephen Sanchez, Laufey, Hozier, Baby Fisher, Beabadoobee, Cigarettes After Sex, (Pre-split) Panic! At The Disco, The Young Veins, Pierce The Veil, My Chemical Romance, Melanie Martinez, Jazmin Bean, Sleeping With Sirens, Zeph, Twenty One Pilots, TV girl, Badflower, Fall Out Boy, Neck Deep, Mayday Parade, IDKHOW, Palaye Royale, Reneé Rapp, and Sub Urban !!!

THINGS I LIKE!!!!

The Walten Files, The Outsiders, Frogs, FNAF, Band, Drawing, Writing, Reading, Going outside, Hanging out with my friends, Listening to music, Sleeping, Collecting silly things, Yapping about everything, Stuffed animals, and Sunflowers!!!

BMF/THIN ICE/DNI LIST!!!!

BMF!!!

Parxies, enjoyers of any of my interests, frog lovers, lesbians, nice people, people that will let me yap, star lovers, sanrio lovers, anybody between the ages of 12-17, People who like the outsiders, and anybody in the lgbtq+ community!

THIN ICE!!!

Anybody that’s 18 and above (I don’t care that you’re on my page, just keep in mind this I am a minor!), age ranges 10-11, people who always start drama for no exact reason, non parxies (this blog is mostly about waterparks so, you’re welcome to stay tho!), and I don’t mind fake flirting, just if I tell you to stop please do!

DNI!!!

Homophobic, transphobic, and racist people, pro Israel, people who ONLY talk about politics, pro-shippers, waterparks haters, people who judge others interests, p3d0s, and rude people.

HOW I TAG THINGS!!!

Violetsyaps - stuff by me!

Violetsvents - my vents

Violetsthings - just a tag so I can find things easily!

Violetswife - yaps about my gf!

Violetreblogs - stuff I reblog

Any more info!

My DMs are open, I can’t always reply but I’ll try my best! Everybody is welcome to my page as long as you’re respectful! my socials are linked below! other than all this stuff, just be positive on my page and we won’t have a problem!

discord, tiktok, insta, straw page

[scrittarts]

I'll admit, I really like both the Slipfins and your take on Mechs/Techno-Organic lifeforms. I'd kinda like to make a Slipfin, but I don't want to upset you by just trying to make one without permission. Are Slipfins an open species or are they closed?

You can make your own Slipfin Alien OC under the following terms:

You cannot use the Slipfin species or character for commercial purposes.

2. You may not distribute products, software, VR Avatars or 3D model files of Slipfin Aliens without my witten permission - even if not for commercial purposes.

3. Attribute or link back to any of my active social media to credit for the species (tumblr, twitter or FA - links are in my pinned post). "Slipfin Alien species by Scritt"

4. You acknowledge that the only canonical lore for the species is what I write for them, and is subject to change based on what I need them to be for my stories or worldbuilding projects. Only characters I design and include in released content are canon to stories, setting and lore. Refer to most recent species guides posted for details. 5. You will not portray them as evil, in hateful content, or use them in connection with crypto or NFTs. (I need to update species guides and lore posts)

_______

As for my Living Mechs, they are't technically a species. They are designs of elaborate fancy suits of armor that can house humans, reptilians and a number of other species on a... permanent basis. But the mechs all *were* organic at some point, transformed to biomechanical by their new bodies.

Species wise, that is like asking if Human is an open species. I am not sure how to go about this because the Living Mechs largely are a construct for transhumanist worldbuilding projects of mine, so for now, I have to go with no!

The main reason is that the few times people have tried making OCs they almost immediately used those distinctly outside what the lore says they are or can do... for example, in vore themed art.

And then that's just by definition not a Conceptua Machinara living mech. That is their own species, but using my design elements.

The mechs can't eat you, and have no need for a throat, sorry.

Anyway, that highlit for me that the Mechs aren't well enough defined in their released content, to be really possible to make OCs of yet. I'd need to draw up and categorize a few specific frames for them, along with their respective functions and abilities. Addition: Although… I suppose the whole story and narrative is about whether transformative technology changes your species, and I'm learning towards the fact that maybe it does... Iunno, the mechs might be a species?

-scritt 2023

[gallopinggold]

I got the opportunity recently to go to a Shawna Karrasch clinic and it was great! Left the clinic feeling more confident and inspired to work with my girls than I have a long time.

For those that haven't heard of Shawna, she's one of the bigger named R+ horse trainers. Her background pre equine was as a SeaWorld trainer, so it's pretty interesting how her utilization of R+ is different compared to the typical "traditional R- horse person to R+" pipeline trainers, since aquatic mammal training is was R+ based from the jump.

I do not have a trailer, so I didn't get the chance to work hands on with Mary there, but it was still well worth auditing. It was two day clinic, with the morning of day 1 being a lecture portion by Shawna, and then an afternoon establishing session where Jessie (Shawna's business partner) worked with the participants in the arena. Day two had two sessions, a morning and afternoon, so all the participants got 3 total times to work with their horses. I'm not sure if this is how the clinic typically runs or if it's just because Shawna currently has an injury, but during the active sessions, Shawna sat among the auditors and Jessie was the one physically working the horses. If it's not the typical format, I hope they keep it, because I got a lot out of Shawna essentially narrating what was happening. You could see Jessie working, but often times couldn't hear what she was saying or was (reasonably) focusing on the horse, and it was nice to have Shawna explain the subtilties that would have been easy to miss, and actively answer questions as it progressed. I'm not sure if that's typical for any type of clinic, but it made it an engaging discussion where you felt like you were actively participating in the clinic, instead of a passive just watching experience.

The one downside I ran into was the luck of the draw with the participants. It was open to people of all skill levels, so it was mix of people who had never touched a clicker before in their lives, to people who had started their horses with R+ under saddle already. Probably 25% of the participants would be categorized as advanced, 25% intermediate, and 50% beginner (I would confidently call myself an intermediate after seeing where I was at this weekend). You can still learn from watching beginner lessons, even if you're more advanced than that, but by the 3rd session of watching the same couple ladies miss where to mark the behaviors again and again, the usefulness had been long since saturated lol.

Other participants were more informative to watch, the afternoon session on the second day was under saddle, which was cool. Lots of different scenarios played out, which meant there were quite the variety of exercises for me to file away for later.

Couple of my biggest takeaways: I was surprised at how quick they were able to up the criteria without frustrating the horse. I had previously thought of it as very black and white, that you needed to have a behavior down with lots repetition before even thinking of moving onto the next thing. They were able to progress without having to repeat things ad nauseum because they did micro baby steps that the horse was able to answer quickly and correctly and it increased the horse's confidence, so that then they could jump to bigger step and the horse would actively try to problem solve. I guess I never really realized how reinforcing the exercises themself could be to the horse, and how quickly they were able to get that conditioned. They did all the ground work parts of the clinic at liberty and on grass, and 90% of the horses still wanted to actively participate for regular hay pellets. It isn't just the food that's driving the behavior. You don't have to use food for every single thing for the rest of the horses life, once you've gotten the classical conditioning firmly established. It became a game for the horse, as long as it was established without fear and the horse felt safe. Safety and choice are so critical for that, and it explains why traditional R- (which usually doesn't allow for choice) is not the most impactful approach for modifying behavior long term.

Anyways, lots to chew on from this experience. I've already started applying some of the information I've learned and am noticing progress with the girls already! If Shawna is coming to you're area anytime soon, would definitely recommend checking her out. It was well worth the price for the information, as well as the networking opportunity to make connections with like-minded horsewomen, especially since R+ is still so fringe in the horse world.

[stellar-waves]

staring down the sun [1] *

Real men hide their feelings, at least that’s what Connor and Murphy believed in order to survive. Until Elena Jensen helps them open up through therapy before they escape prison and go back to work as the Saints. The boys learn Elena has some secrets of her own as they uncover a network of powerful crime organizations. But when a spark grows between Connor and Elena, so does the threat to the greater good.

⏯ chapter index

. . .

how could you realize?

. . .

He’s just as stubborn as his brother, that’s for sure. He’d sit there silently for the whole hour if he could, just out of spite. But Connor can’t keep his mouth shut, even when he wants to. Blame it on his natural charisma. And just when it seems like he’s about to be honest, he smiles and says something in another language, followed by that annoyingly contagious laugh. 

It’s the same routine during every session. Someone sure had a sense of humor when they ordered mandated therapy for the MacManus brothers. Still, their therapist, Elena, remains persistent when faced with their resistance. 

“How are you feeling today, Connor?” she asks as he settles in his chair at the opposite end of the table. 

He scoffs and seems to lose himself in a memory. Connor shifts his body, clad in the navy blue prisoner scrubs that ironically complement his blue eyes. “Real men hide their feelings,” he says matter-of-factly with his thick Irish accent. 

Elena takes a deep breath, filling her lungs with the patience needed to deal with Connor’s shit. “Why is that?” 

A cunning smile spreads across his face. Typical. “So we can get shit done.”

“Like murder criminals.” Her response is so blunt, almost clinical, and Connor has the gall to look offended. It’s not the first time Elena has brought up what he does…what he did before finally getting arrested. She’s looked at the brothers’ respective files, seen the news reports, and knows why they kill. What she doesn’t know is what’s underneath the surface, what Connor and Murphy feel deep down, beyond spiritual calling.

His voice is low, poetic. “Destroy all that which is evil—“

“—so that which is good shall flourish.” Elena finishes his statement like she’s rehearsed it with him too many times.  Feeling slightly miffed, she flips open her hardbound notebook. “I know, Connor. You heard it from God.”

He lays the hurt on heavy in his Irish accent. “And ye don’t believe me.” 

She shoots her eyes up at him. “I never said that. I think there’s a psychological reason in there, too.” His accusation gets under her skin enough to tense every muscle in her back. Finally, she finds the page: notes on Catholicism, various verses Connor referenced, and a sketch of the rosary he’s occasionally allowed to have during therapy. 

It’s not the only drawing Elena has hidden in those pages: a drawing of both Connor and Murphy when they sat silently for the entire first and only session they did together. What else was she supposed to do? She asked a couple of questions here and there, but they held their tongues like they had some incredible superpower in each other’s presence. After that, she told the warden she had to do her sessions with the MacManus brothers separately. 

“What do ye have against my religion?”

She rolls her eyes. “Connor, I’m Catholic too, remember? Born and raised. I also understand that our brains work in mysterious ways.”

He pauses and then smiles warmly. “Our hearts, too.” He pats his chest with his left hand, the tattoo along his index finger perfectly aligned to read veritas. 

“True…” The word slides out of her mouth and morphs into a chuckle as she realizes she’s subconsciously translating Connor’s tattoo in a sense. Connor grins, still holding his hand over his heart. But as touching as this moment is, Elena lets her psychoanalytical side speak up again. It’s her job…she has to ask hard questions. “But real men hide their feelings, right?”

His face falls a bit, and he puffs his chest out as if putting his armor back on for battle. “We have to.”

“No, you don’t. If anything, real men show their feelings.” She presses her lips together, a part of her wanting to avoid the suggestion just as much as Connor wants to avoid his feelings. “I think you’re afraid to let anyone in.”

He looks away with a furrowed brow as he brushes off the statement. “I can take care of myself.”

“I don’t doubt it. But you’re trying to take care of everyone else, too, yeah?” 

Connor shakes his head. “Not Murph. He can take care of himself.”

“You two take care of each other.”

“Aye. That’s what brothers do.”

Yes, Connor and Murphy are fraternal twins, and their mother took the answer of which boy was born first to her grave. But something in Connor made him seem like the older brother, and not just by a few minutes. He was the thinker, the planner, even before their killing spree as the Saints of Boston. Almost like he had to live up to the meaning of his Irish given name: wise.

Elena has to choose her following words carefully and hopefully get Connor to see he’s carrying more on his shoulders than he’d like to admit. She opens her mouth, but the words fail to form. 

He stares at her, his blue eyes worn and despondent. “Ní bheidh tú a thuiscint,” Connor mumbles in Irish, the foreign words leaving his mouth without the usual hint of snark. 

You’ll never understand.

The air hangs heavy between them, and he drops his gaze to his fidgeting hands in his lap. 

“Ansin cabhrú liom a thuiscint,” Elena softly retorts back in Irish. 

Then help me understand.

Connor’s eyes widen, and his cheeks instantly blush. The therapist smiles. “And what was it you said last week in Spanish? That you’ll be out of here before I can break you?” Elena lowers her voice teasingly, also in Spanish. “I will break you, Connor.”

He rubs his face as if trying to wipe away the embarrassment. “Fuck me. Does Murph know?”

Elena narrows her eyes. “Not if you can keep a secret.” 

Connor pretends to zip his lips, but they curl up to bear a boyish grin. He can’t keep his mouth shut; Murphy will know the instant Connor returns to their cell. 

The thought of it stirs Elena, and she leans forward, her arms resting on the cold metal table that separates them. “Do you have any secrets from Murphy?”

He pauses, his face twisting in contemplation. “I wouldn’t call them secrets…just shit that he doesn’t know.”

“And you won’t tell him.”

Connor shrugs his broad shoulders. “I will if it comes up.” He takes a long, deep breath. “But there’s not much he doesn’t already know.”

“Being as close as you are, I’d imagine it’s pretty hard to keep anything from each other.” 

He twists his mouth, his voice pleading without rising in volume. “Just once, I want something that’s mine and not ours, ye know?”

The confession surprises her and intrigues her. “What do you want, Connor?”

He swallows hard as he stares intently at Elena. She feels the blood rush into her cheeks, and she’s unsure if it’s from the sheer weight of Connor’s gaze or from the fear that she’s opened up Pandora’s box and Connor’s heart will spill out in front of her.

He opens his mouth, but the secured door behind him buzzes open with an armed guard stepping in. Time’s up. Connor still can’t say anything as the guard handcuffs him, but Elena assures him it’s okay. “I’ll see you next week.” 

. . .

. . .

[2] ⏭

[vera-keller]

Hey I saw that your ships are open and was wondering if I could request one?

I have short dark brown hair and brown eyes. I have pearl earrings currently. I am 5'6. I am also ftm and gay. He/him pronouns

I am currently learning German and Ukrainian. I play the cello (I would say that I'm pretty decent at it). I want to join the paratroopers soon and maybe get a doctorate degree in the medical field. I like writing books, reading, and drawing. I am very interested in history, mainly the 20th century. I also know how to cross-country ski and love the winter.

My MBTI type if I remember correctly is INTJ. I love procrastinating and do well under a lot of pressure. I'm also very stubborn and awkward with talking to people so I don't have many close friends. For some reason, I have a sort of knack for doing things well, even if it's the first time I've tried it and that might be because I listen really closely to stuff to make sure I'm doing everything correctly. I need a straightforward path and a list of things I should do to get something done.

I have depression, anxiety and maybe (I say maybe because it's undiagnosed) maladaptive daydreaming, which basically means I daydream too much that it's a problem. Any small words of affection or reassurance sends me through the roof and makes me happy for the rest of the day (idk why). I also get angry very quickly and forget things quickly.

I am converting to Judaism so that’s cool. My sense of clothing style is just me pretending I’m in the military, pleather jackets, heavy jackets that are either camo or dark green, aviator sunglasses, a lot of neutral colours, fancy dress shirts/blouses, combat boots (which I currently do not own so just tennis shoes or winter boots), I have a few BoB pins which I have created on my own :) I like wearing t-shirts in winter under my jacket just because. The t-shirts usually have designs like aeroplanes, space, and museum shirts. I also have a collection of shirts from places I’ve never been cause I think it’s hilarious. I do a lot of things just cuz I think they’re funny.

I keep a lot of stuff in my pockets “just in case”. I impulse buy, which is a big insecurity of mine. People intimidate me easily so I usually wait to get approached to start a conversation. I like watching adventure shows like extinct or alive or expedition unknown.

 I would say that I have a very dark sense of humour and am almost always sarcastic when talking to my friends (also I love irony). I have an interesting music taste, most any song I listen to goes onto my liked songs on Spotify heh. I sometimes slip into a British accent or one that isn’t mine at all. I also tend to get myself injured at least once daily and now it’s a running joke with my friends.

I don’t really know much about romance, but I try. I don’t like that much physical affection but I do like praise, as I said before, and gifts. I love giving gifts to people.

Thank you!!

hey mister anon i was wondering whether you've been introduced to carwood lipton yet?

that's him looking at you up close to make sure you're real because christ on a cracker you're perfect.

this old boy earned his chevrons as first sergeant of easy company for a good reason. he gets into friendly campus tour guide mode every time he hears someone express interest in joining the paratroopers and he's a seasoned nco at this point, so he's pretty good at telling those who are genuinely committed to seeing through their interest apart from those who blouse their trousers over their boots just because they can. you fall into the former category. that's already one point in his books.

being off to a great start already, the other points come soon enough, quicker than he can count them. as genuinely excited as he is for the possibility that one day soon enough you'll be part of easy company, standing in perfect rank and file with the rest of his comrades-in-arms at camp toccoa after warming up for pt, he almost dreads the day you'll have to set your own clothes aside in favour of the paratroopers' standardised uniform because the way you dress is utterly striking to him. the image of you in your clearly military-inspired getup, your silhouette clean-cut and dashing in the way he imagines only gary cooper or errol flynn or someone worlds away from him can pull off, is burned into his mind as though by firebrand. both the initial sight of it and every time he then proceeds to reconstruct it in his mind following your first meeting bring forth a foreign sensation without a name or shape. it comes in like a tide, washes over him, pulls him under.

he knows he can never dress like you. he doesn't think he can pull it off, but by god do you make a good case for every outfit you put together. the aviators? yum. maybe lip does appreciate a man who knows how to dress himself.

your chemistry and compatibility become palpable facts the more time you spend together. lip is a meticulous planner who relies on structure to get things done. he plans down to to the minute. and he's always been a little in awe of the genius types who can seemingly be on hiatus for days and then get all the work accumulated throughout that time done to an incredulously high standard within hours of it all being due. you're a dark horse, a prodigy, who embodies this archetype right down to your bones. he doesn't resent you for it in the slightest, as you might initially suspect someone with his style of work ethic might do. he finds it an absolute phenomenon to watch and will never even think about asking you to change the habits of yours which fascinate him so endlessly. if you pull an all-nighter, he'll almost certainly go boil the kettle and make you a hot drink. he reads your writing with pleasure and often asks if he can help with organising any notes you might take from your historical research. he makes it a point to research judaism on his own when he learns you're converting. every now and then he worries for your wellbeing, worries that you're pushing yourself too much, but along with his worries comes resolve that he'll be there to catch you if you burn out. having figured out your communication style and working habits fairly early on in your acquaintanceship, he's more than happy to provide you with that straightforward past and to-do list that will allow you to exercise your efficiency to the maximum.

and, in recognition of your brilliance, he asks you to teach him german while you study the language yourself, considering it would be a practical second language to know and everything, given the circumstances. ukrainian is a smidge more difficult for him to master. he intends on making a proper start on it later, perhaps when the war is over. when he asks you good-naturedly whether you'll find some time to teach him then, you understand that it's another way of asking you to stay in contact after europe.

lip is the human embodiment of a packet of twinings superblends tea. his very presence is grounding. he reads your body language, memorises it like code, knows it by heart, by instinct. those big arms of his? yeah, he lifts. your fucking spirits up! he's your number one fan and he's not at all obnoxious about it. when you bend down at the table in the mess hall to pick up some dropped item on the floor, his hand – without him even thinking about it – goes to cover the corner of the table so you don't hit your head on your way back up. he calms your moments of acute frustration with that steadiness of his that you find yourself thinking of more and more even when he isn't there. when your mind begins to take you elsewhere into a daydream that threatens to keep you captive, he alone detects the almost imperceptible changes in your face and brings you back to reality with a gentle and non-intrusive touch. he has a soothing way about him that only serves to elevate 1.) his command abilities in the field and 2.) his ability to connect with you. he gets in all the places you don't expect, finding honesty and vulnerability behind the stubbornness. talking to him is easy because he expects nothing of you and does not hold you to judgement. he's familiar with you and accepts you, and you have nothing to prove to him. that's how it always will be. he makes that clear to you.

perhaps it's the way he always tells you "well done" or "good job" or "you did great", the act of acknowledging and praising you coming easy to him. he is reserved but tender this way, gilding each of your days with reassurance without going overboard with declarations of love and devotion that he's never been particularly good at. perhaps it's the way that, despite his occasional awkwardness with verbalising his deeper feelings, he refuses to be vague about the fact that he cares for you. but falling in love with carwood lipton is natural and slow-seeping, like water into sand, like coming home at the end of a long day.

and, to him, falling in love with you does not come as a surprise at all.

if we're going era-appropriate, then heteronormativity and its associated ugly side are rife in the 40s but lip cannot give two hoots about any of that. he loves who he loves, and either way it's nobody else's business but his own (and the beloved in question). perhaps he might put it in the sense that he falls for a soul and not a gender. so who you are now, who you were before, all of that is you, and he loves you, every single iteration of you that has led up to the man standing in front of him today. he never wavers on this. but – just because of the times you and he live in – he knows the importance of discretion and boundaries. there are subjects that he will only broach with you if you let him, information that he will only seek out if you choose to share it with him first. he's also smart enough to know not to let any of this on in public, but he promises you one night when you're lying next to him, your head on his chest, that the two of you will someday live in a world that will look upon your love with clear eyes.

but if we're not going era-appropriate because fuck that angst and fuck homophobia, then lip shows his love for you in the most gentlest of forms, little gestures imbued with his feelings for you. pda as a concept doesn't really exist to him. he's not a touchy person either and his affection never breaches boundaries in public or in private, but it is never withheld for even a moment should you want it.

and, of course, it is no question that your sense of humour just. straight up fucking baffles him. one might call you various things: the "archbishop of banterbury", an "absolute madlad" or a "menace" are just a few of the many different options available to choose from, and lip is honestly just out here smiling uncontrollably in spite of himself at your antics and right about here is when you get presented with a medal for making the mom friend break character in his complete amusement. besides, even he must admit that "clifford" is most fun to say in a british accent.

he keeps the gifts you give him with him, on his person if possible, but if not then in his footlocker, along with other precious mementos from your relationship. he looks at them often but what he sees in his mind's eye is the two of you, after the war, making a home for yourselves together.

first sergeant lipton is very much in love with you and he's a man who loves without reservation. congrats mister anon! this is the good ending. if y'all want to go ahead and adopt me i'm not saying no

[santamaria-c100]

This semester was a struggle. 

Transitioning from the pandemic years’ remote learning into this new semester’s blended face-to-face set up hasn’t been the easiest for me. It’s been exciting, for sure, but the adjustment has been tough for me and balancing my life, rest, and work has been absolutely overwhelming. I’ve also just shifted into a new course this semester (film, my dream course!) and while I definitely feel much more at peace, working towards something I feel is worth it, it’s been a whole lot of new. 

Partway through the semester, I set out to file a leave of absence (my second). I was motivated by quite a few reasons: I felt I was in over my depth shifting mid-schoolyear, I was approaching my last semesters under the free tuition act and was worried my status as irregular would delay me even more than I needed to, and I just felt an overwhelming desire for rest. I gradually disappeared from most of my classes and left a lot of work neglected, but I was eventually unable to go through with my application and I ended up stacked with half a semester’s worth of schoolwork to finish. Catching up was... quite a lot.

In spite of it all, this semester’s Comm 100 classes has been a shining spot for me these last couple months. Mornings are not the easiest for me, and I typically end my nights very late and find myself with very few hours of sleep. However, even in the wee hours of the morning and even as I was contemplating taking a LOA, I always found the energy to brave the commute for this class (my only one on Fridays. 

I took most of this class’ coverage before in UPLB, though I had to retake it this semester since my previous class isn’t eligible to be credited, and as a new Maskom shiftee this course was necessary for nearly all my other classes. Despite this, this class has always kept things so fresh. I really appreciated how your perspective as a media practitioner provided so much valuable insight, more than just from a curriculum or a study guide. All your anecdotes and jokes, and the welcoming atmosphere in the classroom kept me sane, and grounded much of the learning into something meaningful. The requirements were also rewarding to accomplish (despite taking me way too long to finish them) and it was fun to exercise my creative skills. I especially loved getting to draw both my group’s mascot and my final TV souvenir.

Dearest Ma’am Tessa, I know you are seeing this message way later than you should be, and I’m really sorry for how tardy I’ve been with my requirements this semester, but I am so grateful to have taken this class under you. Thank you so much for your patience, warmth, and wisdom. I hope I was able to express a little part of me in each of these souvenirs, and that you’d be able to get to know me better as you go through them all. 

❤️ Andy

[sourcedx]

Inside Look at the RFQ Process: Contract Manufacturing

I'll be talking about a pretty typical process you can have with any business contractor or supplier in my blog post today. You've probably heard about the Request for Quote a lot (RFQ)

Assume your development project is nearing its conclusion. You have screened a few potential contract manufacturers and suppliers, and you have a shortlist of 3–8 potential suppliers.

Prepare an RFQ as the next stage in marketing your product (request for quotation). You are putting together the paperwork needed for your CM to start production. They must first succeed on the quote exam, though.

How Should I Prepare for the RFQ and What Should I Provide?

Receiving an RFQ package in stages is, in my experience, very tedious and time-consuming. Please send the entire RFQ package if you would want to do so. Sending the drawings one week, the SourcedX the following week, and the specifications the following week is useless. Avoid doing it; it's annoying and impolite. Working with a good contract manufacturers System will make them rapidly forget about you.

Therefore, you should email them the file together with your RFQ. The best course of action is to zip up all of this data and upload it to Google Drive. You could also put the majority of this on SourcedX if you know what you're doing.

Drawings in 2D and 3D

STEP files are preferred for 3D files. Avoid using STL if there is a plastic component since you cannot determine the weight of a plastic component using an STL file. Also required are the 2D files. Tolerances, material grade, and some part specs are the most crucial elements of a 2D file. Any QC needs, such as pull tests, stress testing, etc., would go under this category.

Bill of Materials (BOM)

When I get a good BOM, I can trust the company I'm working with. The BOM ought to be the simplest document to gather, therefore this is absurd. The BOM is where your product's knowledge is kept, and it's remarkable how many customers don't comprehend it. You had better have a thorough BOM if you are concerned that your CM won't manufacture your product up to specification.

Business Background 

This typically needs to be done throughout the vetting procedure. They will be curious in your company's business strategy, funding, and other factors, just like the CM was when you questioned them extensively. Naturally, if you are a larger firm, they won't ask you these questions, but if you are a smaller company, be ready to respond to them. They simply want to make sure that if they collaborate with you, you have the resources, personnel, and execution strategy to carry out the strategy.

Functional Prototype 

This is a request I make infrequently for the quotation's first phase. This is crucial as the connection develops, though. We require the prototype before we can complete your price or begin a design for manufacturing (DFM) project.

MOQ and Target Price

My preferred method of learning the minimum order quantity (MOQ) is from the client. The main reason for this is that I don't want to hurt the client's cash flow. What use is it if they have no money set aside to sell the product and all of their cash is locked up in inventory? I generally prefer to get a target price together with the MOQ. Just to make sure we are on the right track.

It's crucial to ask yourself one question before releasing an RFQ. What materials will the supplier require to complete the production? It's a good idea to send them whatever they might need.

How SourcedX Can Help

In order to manage your product information in a consolidated database and make wise decisions, SourcedX gives you the necessary tools. We give you the tools you need to handle your parts, vendors, bill of materials, purchase orders, and change orders in an efficient manner. You can share any of the BOM, engineering, and manufacturing data that is saved in the cloud with anyone.

Create your SourcedX account for FREE, and if you have any questions, contact us at support @sourcedx.com.

[gossamer-green]

please please tell me someone has drawn the yakko “help” screencap as ashe

[neonovember]

steve rogers as a husband headcanon!

things about husband!steve that just makes sense

steve isn’t big on pda, thinks affection should be something private, he’s old school like that, there are some exceptions however, some very fun ones

even though he might be abit of an aversion to pda, steve will make sure that you know he’s just there

whether it be holding your hand, or his palm guiding you through a big crowd, he always feels a need to keep you at arms length.

steve is extremely protective of you..like bordering on possessiveness. he’ll even go as far are ignoring his own morals to make it sure, that people know his yours. It’s just that you’re the one thing that ever really grounds him back to earth, in moments where he gets lost in time and memories from before

“Hey I’m just saying, if you ever get bored of popsicle here, the iron suit is ready for you” Tony smirks, his legs perched against the coffee table. The Avengers are scattered around the tower's living room, half drunk and the other half trying to. You feel Steve’s grip on your waist tighten, and from the corner of your eye, you notice his orbs turning a ink-black. He leans across to Tony, whispering into his ear, the words falling out of his mouth like wine and into Tony. Tony’s eyes bludge comically, his throat bops as he swallows, nodding along to whatever Steve was saying, looking at you. Steve smiles, into his ear, it’s eerie, the way his canines glint under the high ceiling lights. You wish to the gods that you were given Bucky’s hearing but without a second, as if you had dreamt it in front of you, Steve is back beside you, only this time you feel his fingers slip between your thighs.

for some reason, I don’t get the whole “Steve being a horrible cook” trope, I genuinely think he’s an amazing cook and BAKER! that man can bake a mean batch of cookies

steve loves loves loves, calling you mrs rogers, or his wife. the first time he said it was well before you both uttered your vows, he just knew. oh and if you call him your husband? poor man will probably be hard for the rest of the day

steve has a breeding kink. we all know this, it’s practically attached to his file along with super soldier. but what most people don’t know is that he fucking lovess when you’re pregnant, it’s like senses go on overdrive until all he breathes, thinks and eats ;) is you.

steve has this fear of abandonment, mostly because he was, by his own country for a century. It seeps into his relationships, you’ll see if when he comes home from long missions and it’s as if he’s walking on eggs shells. His shoulders are tense and his holding his breath as if he’s just waiting to find the house bare and empty and your belongings gone. He gets really sensitive then, all murmurs and soft kisses and just holding you to remind himself you’re here.

there will absolutely be a time where steve fucks over the kitchen sink. the dirty dishes left abandoned (should I write this?)

steve can get a little anxious, and so his wedding band is something he’ll ALWAYS play with, he’ll twist its around his finger as a kind of reminder.

you love to tease him by bringing him lunch at the compound, wearing one of those sun dresses he adores because it gets him so. fucking. hard. He wont ever tell you though, just have to deal with it until he can get home, and by then you already panty less and on your knees waiting for him.

steve will probably force you to train with him, even if you can kick ass, he’ll pull a fitzgerald and force those trainers on you. poor boy is just scared that something will happen to you when his not there, plus, seeing you fight kinda turns him on. (just like anything else you do really)

Steve’s really bad at technology, we all know this, but he absolutely will try to learn how to use a phone so he can send you texts and updates throughout the day. he’ll take random pics of tony and sam when their not looking, take some Facebook mom ass selfies, take pictures of things he wants to draw and ask you if they’d look nice, he’s mind just constantly finds it’s way to you

cockwarming with husband!steve. that’s it

you help steve open up to the new things in this century, take him out to help him ease himself into the real world. people forget he never really got that chance, he died in one war only to be pushed into another.

it’s through you that steve learns that he’s obsessed with avocado. on toast, in milkshakes, everything, he’d literally a millennial

when things get too much, you’ll draw a bath and the both of you will just sit in the steaming water filled with some bubbles, candles illuminating the room instead of lights, and the ceiling to floor windows open. skin to skin helps steve calm his nerves, and it’s not abnormal for you both to stay in that position for hours

steve still gets shy around you, no matter how many years he’s been with you, he’s still that boy from brooklyn with a heart too big for him

steve has absolutely zero self control when it comes to you, say something nice about a necklace you see passing by? It’s on your neck the next day. Hears the sound of a slight rumble in your stomach? Steve’s whipping out his apron and making you eat something

steve is the type of man to never let you go to bed angry, even if you’ve both had a fight and he ends up on the coach it won’t be too long before you both find yourselves in the middle of the hallway missing each others touch

“babygirl, honey, my wife, doll, gorgeous”

you take priority over a lot of things in Steve’s mind, he’s never ever late to dinner, he’d rather lose his leg than disappoint you

sundays are for sex and sleeping

steve fucked you one time really hard over a drawer or ottoman and BROKE IT. now he’ll spend saturdays carpenting reinforced drawers, counters and bed frames ;)

makeup sex, and face and thigh riding <3

steve always feels as if he’s leaving a part of himself at home or with you whenever he leaves, he’s constantly watching the clock and bouncing that leg of his to get back to you.

steve would probably let bucky watch him fuck you..maybe.

even though I believe steve would be really possessive I also think he could easily be very private about his relationship with you. like that scene in aou where we meet Clint’s family? fury will probably drive up to some big cabin house with the avengers in the back and they’d be confused af when they open the door to find steve and you cooking in the kitchen with your kids running around the place.

“How much longer Fury, my backs starting to ache with this stiff as seat and Bucky’s feet in my face” groans Sam, leaning away from Bucky’s towering figure. “It should be around the corner” motions Fury, and just as promised the avengers pull into an expansive cabin house, elegant with is softened wood and timber gate ribboning around the land that seemed to stretch endlessly. When Fury had told them that he needed to grab something, they didn’t think it would end up with corny 70’s tunes cranking out throughout the car, one and a half hours from the city.

“This looks…lived in” Nat remarks, her fingers brushing against her holister, ears perked for any signs of human activity.

“Yeah, Fury, are you having us raid some lumberjacks generational home” Tony barks, stretching out his arms

“Just shut up and follow me” Fury sighs, before stepping through the gate and following the stone path. Wiping his boots across the mat, his reaches for the door, opening into the hallway of the strange home.

“Wipe your shoes, she hates when you trek mud in” Fury calls before walking in as if he owned the place

“She?” Thor whispers, what they all but Bucky thought. They followed unspeaking down the hallway leading to an open floor, the scene infront of them had their mouths hanging.

There Steve, their stone faces leader, fucking sautéing onions on large brimstone stove, laughter falling from his lips as you whispered into his neck. You were a sight to see, a dress falling onto your body like silk, cascading againts your curves, your hair was in an updo, curls draining your face and a bright smiling lighting up your eyes.

You were absolutely gorgeous, and to see Steve react to your affection in such a way told them you were more than just an old friend

“Bucky!” You smiles, reaching for the dark haired man, squeezing him in a tight hug.

“Hey sweet girl” Bucky smiles, gripping you.

Sam looked towards Bucky in disbelief, eyes shooting bullets at Steve in mock betrayal

“Really? You’re going to tell the ex murderer about your little secret life but not your saviour?” Sam mutters, before steve laughs gripping his chest.

“Sam meet my wife, doll now you know why I don’t let them near you” Steve whispers into your ear, making you giggle.

Sam reaches for your hand but you ignore it, going for a hug. “Oomf, hello to you too” Sam laughs hugging you back

“Hey Fury” You smile, waving a hand towards the man who nods in return.

“You all must be Natasha, Thor, Clint and Tony?, it’s so great to finally meet you” You speak, dimples pressed into your cheek

Clint seems to be the only one who snaps out of the rest of the avengers stupor, “I see you’ve pulled a Barton” He jokes, hugging you.

Once the rest of them finally greet you, along with some condescending remarks from Tony about “how the hell did you land her?!” The avengers sit around the table, drinking beer and eating good food and getting used to seeing Steve with his wife on his lap.

that’s all I have for steve at the moment, I’ll probably add way more later but I haven’t been uploading in ages and thought this would a quick little head canon for our spark spangled soldier!

p.s! requests are always open ;)

[cypressnmarigolds]

NSFW Vincent Sinclair HCs

Even though I really, really need to finish writing my Thomas installment of Lesson Learned, I'm gonna share my naughty Vincent headcanons because they've literally been eating my brain.

Contains: Vincent being a creepy little perv.

🚫 Minors, blank and no-age blogs are not welcome on my blog or to interact with my posts. You will be blocked. 🚫

He's a virgin. I'll leave elaborating my reasoning for another time. don't want this getting angsty.

I HC Vinny as a closet perv. Really takes off once you've caught his attention and managed to be allowed to live. If he has his way, you will never catch on, or even find out he's interested in you. He's embarrassed, among other feelings.

Before you came along, he has had plenty dirty thoughts and fantasies. Hell, he's probably read through any and all smutty books he's been able to find in visitors belongings. But after you show up and he has someone to focus all of his thoughts on? HORNY.

Now, I mean he's a ✨pervert✨ He will steal your underwear and jerk off in them, then quickly wash them and put them back before you've noticed they're missing. He will, at some point, somehow catch you naked without you noticing. IDK how he does it but he will.

He will then draw your nude form several times, in many positions.

He will jerk off to these too and would rather let Bo and Lester find them before you.

If he ever overhears you touching yourself or having a steamy dream, he will listen and touch himself to you. If not right then, he will file it away for later.

Lil Blurb

But seriously can you imagine? He manages to catch you changing, or overhears you moaning in the dead of night. He immediately gets hard. Later, he's kneeling in his bed, sweats just pulled down enough to free his cock, desperately jerking himself off to the memory, mask discarded and biting down on the sleeve of his black hoodie to quiet himself even though there's no chance in hell anyone could hear him. He's also done this while "admiring" some of the picture he drew of you. He is a CREEP.

He's embarrassed about how horny he is for you, but don't misunderstand, he doesn't feel guilty about sneaking around without you knowing. He was the good child, he was the favorite. He probably got everything he wanted. And though Bo probably pulled an Uno Reverse on him after their parents were gone and bullies him all the time, Vincent still feels a sense of entitlement. If he wants something, he'll take it. If he wants to see you naked in the shower without you catching him, he will. If you wants to watch you touch yourself without noticing his presence, that's what's gonna happen. Again, CREEP

I'm conflicted on whether or not he'll need you to take the led the first several times, or if once he knows you're interested and gets over the shock, he'll pounce on you and take what he wants. That's if either of you ever make a move.

But let me be clear, he wants to see you come. He wants to see you fall apart under his hands and mouth and cock. Huge ego boost knowing he can make you feel so good.

But he has massive switch energy If you take the lead, lay him down on his back and hold his hips down while you peg him/fuck him/blow him/jerk him off, he's cumming in record time. I can see him being a whimpering, needy pillow princess.

*big sigh* Ok, think I got all my brain eaters out. If you enjoyed this, please feel free to leave a comment, and please reblog. This isn't instagram. Likes do jack shit to circulate content, and no circulating content means fandoms on this site will die.

[beesmygod]

teens and weird adults like me of tumblr, i am asking a favor of you: please arm yourself with the knowledge of how the Internet Archive National Emergency Library lending system operated prior to its dissolution so you are not bamboozled by the weird barrage of bizarre lies being spread about it. for a group of people who claim to love reading, none of the people criticizing it apparently bothered to actually look into how the archive functioned and are now willing to destroy one of the most important and valuable resources available to everyone, everywhere.

i’m going to try to make my case here, and i have no doubt there will be gnashing of teeth from people arguing the letter of the law over the spirit of it but i will address that as well. the “damage” done to publishers was near nonexistent but in exchange the publishers who have filed the lawsuit are willing to destroy the archive under the crushing weight of monetary punishment.

the Internet Archive is literally an online library and is recognized as a library by the state of california. it is not a pirate site.

you cannot download the books on the internet archive website. the only book available for download are those in the public domain. all other books can be checked out the same as you would check out any other e-book at any other brick and mortar library. you can borrow the book for 14 days. the books are protected with DRM and copyright protection to prevent theft.

the books online are purchased or donated, and then scanned. you can only borrow as many books as there are physical copies available at the library. so if there is one copy of war and peace  available as an e-book and i check it out, you will have to wait until i’m done with it to check it out yourself. this is slightly different than how regular libraries do it, but regular libraries are currently at war with publishers over e-books and how they fit into libraries.

the national emergency library was temporary. it was slated to last from march 24th to june 30th. it was made specifically in response to the pandemic.

the only change to the current process of book lending was the suspension of wait-lists. this means that for 3 months, multiple people could check out the same book for 14 days. they were able to accomplish this by using the collections from the phillips academy andover, marygrove college, and trent university. the statement from the Internet Archive includes this information:

During the waitlist suspension, users will be able to borrow books from the National Emergency Library without joining a waitlist, ensuring that students will have access to assigned readings and library materials that the Internet Archive has digitized for the remainder of the US academic calendar, and that people who cannot physically access their local libraries because of closure or self-quarantine can continue to read and thrive during this time of crisis, keeping themselves and others safe.  

... Public support for this emergency measure has come from over 100 individuals, libraries and universities across the world, including the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT).  “Ubiquitous access to open digital content has long been an important goal for MIT and MIT Libraries. Learning and research depend on it,” said Chris Bourg, Director of MIT Libraries. “In a global pandemic, robust digital lending options are key to a library’s ability to care for staff and the community, by allowing all of us to work remotely and maintain the recommended social distancing.”

... A final note on calling this a “National Emergency” Library.  We lend to the world, including these books. We chose that language deliberately because we are pegging the suspension of the waitlists to the duration of the US national emergency.  Users all over the world have equal access to the books now available, regardless of their location.

ok, there are 2 things i want to address now:

the argument that by supporting this writers don’t make money: the fault for this does not and will never lay at the feet of librarians. after reading all of the above, i would find it very difficult to sincerely believe that an author’s royalty money was severely impacted by three months of 14 days library checkouts. we really cannot allow ourselves to start declaring libraries as our financial enemies because they allow the poor to access things they otherwise would not be able to access. institutions that make information freely available to the public need to be preserved at all costs (source: was librarian).

this is a fault in the publisher. the publisher is the one who profits the most from a book sale and the publisher is the one who is filing the lawsuit. the publishing industry is a group of leeches that cling to you as you slowly attempt to make a living.

a library does not hurt profits. a library is a public service.

even if you want to adhere to the letter of the law, i find it extremely difficult to condemn the actions of the internet archive. there was no financial reason for what they did, no malice and no ulterior motive. their national emergency library was a response to brick and mortar libraries being closed in the wake of a pandemic and shutting off a stream of information to people who needed it (especially students!). in response to catastrophe they stepped up and offered a solution. to condemn them under false pretenses (as many did, by calling it a pirate site and weirdly claiming you could download books an unlimited amount of times [?]) has been calamitous.

this was a huge post lol. if you really read this thank you. i hope it made sense. my motive for writing this is not bc i think writers should be poor and should work for free so don’t get it twisted (i draw a dumbass webcomic so i Get It). i just really like libraries and am really upset at the smear job this one got.

please donate to the internet archive.

[batwritings]

Okay hear me out, you are talking so someone and DreamXD gets all grumpy about it but you just tell him to relax. The reason he's with you is to learn how to blend in with other human, so he should be watching how you act. Well manz watches to closely and gets all bother. Later after you both go home or just somewhere else that's when he gets ya. He's all like “what?” as his whole goal is to get you all bothered, but he's kinda mean and he knows how much you love his voice so he uses it to his advantage.

I am so sorry I have personally put my own meaning on “fuck god”

 Friend? Never apologize for putting that spin on “fuck god”. :) Plus, you’re playing into the voice kink, how could I say no? Enjoy~!

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DreamXD huffed as he followed behind you and he knew you heard it. “Are you gonna grump the whole time Mister?” you chuckled, turning your head slightly to smile at him. The god of the SMP had reached out to you some time ago for your help in blending in more with the humans he watched over. At the time, you had questioned why he wouldn’t ask someone closer to Dream himself, like George. While XD didn’t exactly explain, you let it slide, allowing him to shadow you in a sense.

“I just don’t get why we have to meet with this person in particular,” he grumbled, picking up his step to walk beside you. 

“Sapnap’s my friend too,” you responded. You often wondered if XD and Dream shared similar emotions towards people. While you were told that they didn’t, adamantly so by the being beside you, you still couldn’t help but wonder.

“And you’re sure this interaction will help me blend in better?” He hums quietly, contemplative.

“Positive!” you answer, voice chipper and now excited. You notice your friend and one of his fiance’s in the distance and wave to them. “That’s Sapnap’s fiance Karl! You know what that is right?” When you can practically feel the eye-roll from behind his mask, you nod and lead him to the clearing.

Your interaction wasn’t meant to be long, just catching up with the two and learning about Kinoko Kingdom. You introduce them to DreamXD and you notice Sapnap narrow his eyes a bit. You assure the fiery man that he has nothing to do with Dream, that you trust the god and that he is indeed safe. The ravenette seems skeptical but moves on in conversation.

The entire time, XD is watching you carefully. Bright neon green eyes watch your every movement, listens to every word and laugh and noise that falls from your lips. He can feel his body heating up under his cloak and that’s when he chooses to speak up.

“Darling,” he coos, voice distorted and echoing. Something shoots up your spine at that, something you hope your two friends don’t notice. “Think we can go home? There’s something I need to go over with you, remember?” He wasn’t entirely lying, but even he realized it was a pretty piss-poor excuse.

You smile up at him as if to say “really?” but nod approvingly. You bid your farewells to Sapnap who takes a little longer to hug you as he’s afraid to let you go. XD doesn’t let that go unnoticed, deciding to file it away for later questions.

Once home you sigh, setting down your bag and beginning to settle back in. “Pet,” you hear him say, still awkwardly standing in your doorway. Another shiver shoots up your spine at his tone.

“Y-yeah?” you respond, heading towards your bedroom upstairs. He follows you almost dutifully after hanging his cloak at the door.

“I think I’m starting to get a better understanding of humans,” he says, voice low and seductive as he starts down the hall ahead of you. “You use words and embraces to show your affection yes? To show you care?”

You watch him sit back on your bed, legs spread for you to sit between. You do so without hesitation, something you did quite frequently with him. “Mhmm,” you respond, leaning back against his chest. “What’s with the voice big guy?”

Pale, freckled arms reach around your tummy to hold you close. They’re freezing, but not uncomfortably so. “What do you mean darling?” He answers as he his thumbs draw gentle circles on your sides, making you squirm a little in your grasp. “Don’t you like my voice? Like it when I call you nice names?”

“I-I do! I really do!” you exclaim. You shift in your spot to straddle his hips and look at him properly. Your gentle hands move his mask to the side, something he would only ever allow you to do. You were so special to him. “It’s just...”

“What, pet?” DreamXD moves his hands to your hips, clawed hands gently ghosting over slightly exposed skin. “I think it’s only fair. You got me all bothered under my cloak back there. I get to rile you up a bit too, hmm?”

The echoes and distortions grow louder as they bounce off your humble home’s walls. Only stutters slip from your lips then, leaning up against him until your lips meet, soft and gentle. You used to hate how gentle XD was with you until you let him let go once and couldn’t get anything done for the rest of the week. You knew he could break you physically and mentally all with his words and it really did something for you.

You felt his member hard against your sex and it had you gasping. It was always a bit of a marvel at how big he was, sometimes forgetting that he was a god after all. He chuckles when you gasp into his mouth, lips moving as you scramble to catch up with what he’s saying.

“What an eager little thing,” he coos, his claws tugging at your pants. “And all from my voice. Guess I should let you take me out more often hmm? I’d love to see how desperate you would get in public.”

You keen at his words, shifting yourself until you can pull of your pants and underwear. You reach to the side into your bedside table, hand barely able to keep hold of the lube once you have it. You slick up your fingers and slide one in, your hole taking your digit easily.

“That’s my sweet little thing,” your hear XD chuckle. His slid his member out of his lovely robes and you’re almost a little intimidated. Gods he’s so big, but you know he’ll be patient with you as he always is. You’re his precious human after all. “Add another finger for me darling.”

You do as he asks, knowing you’ll be stretched out in no time. One thing DreamXD became ecstatically hooked on after discovering it through you was sex. You were rarely left unfilled, the god loving how you felt around him. It wasn’t long before you felt the need to add a third digit, eagerly pumping them in and out of your hole.

“You’ll feel so good around me dear,” he huffed, smiling at you with bright eyes and sharp teeth. “My precious Y/N.”

A low whine leaves you as you quickly sit back up, pressing the head of his cock to your entrance and beginning the slow slide of him into you. You both are groaning in unison, him from the feeling of you sliding down his member and you from the almost overwhelming sensation of being so full. You watch with rapt attention at the small bulge in your stomach.

“So full,” hums, pressing a kiss to your forehead. His arms encircle you again, liking the feeling of your body pressed close to him. You wrap your arms around his neck as you slowly lift yourself off his length before sliding back down. “Just as I knew you would be.”

You’re panting just from being full of your ethereal lover, his cock pressing against all of your sensitive nerves. You know you won’t last long, you never do. XD never seems to mind, but this time he seems determined. He wants to reach that high with you. You watch his every expression as you ride him, your hole fluttering with each sweet word that gets warped and growled.

You start to notice a pattern; every time you pull just to the head of his member and clench, his breath catches. Using this to your advantage, your pace picks up, being sure to keep focused on each step as you ride him. Little gasps start to leave his throat, his words starting to fail him and eyes glossing over.

“Cum with me XD,” you whine, teetering on the edge. “Feel the pleasure of being human.” Sharp teeth bite into your shoulder, pushing you into your climax with force. You can barely register yourself being filled until you start to come down from your peak, feeling the wetness drip down your thighs.

DreamXD let’s go of your shoulder, kissing and licking at the open wound. He presses a kiss just below your ear with panting breaths. “Thank you, Y/N,” he whispers lowly. “I’m learning so much from you.”