#figuring out what tags to use is actually a specific sort of humiliation

[goddessofwisdom18]

new year's in paris <3

[norgestan]

crisana, norandro, jorgeva and amira x dani

ha, anon just wanted all the canon couples. fair enough!

CRISANA:

see, skam s3 is my favorite season of all time, but it has never been because of the love story. isak's story hits in a lot of sensitive places for me, and isak was also the first main character i encountered that was my age. i have a really special connection to him for that reason. on the other hand... i enjoy evak for what it is, but i never saw a future for their relationship after the season ended. in a lot of ways, isak's season ended just as their relationship started, a trope that i've never liked because how am i supposed to think that they will last? how am i supposed to know how they will work as a couple? it's just, ugh.

i had similar thoughts about crisana when i watched s2, except that the love confession scene and cris as a character made it even harder to get into the couple. moreover, the way people brush other characters' roles and presence on other seasons because they're so caught up on cris and joana is like... blegh. like it makes me forget that they're actually a well-written couple at times. because imo, og they never did anything really interesting with evak once they got together. but eskam........ oh, dear eskam.

there's something so beautiful about thinking of all the girls, the teenagers that will grow up watching a relationship like theirs on popular media. their entire subplot (??? can i even call it that) in s4 is proof of how GREAT of a relationship they turned out to be. like, i just wanna SCREAM thinking about it because, how is it possible that eskam saw evak and said "we're gonna make this SO good and we'll take our time and then tie it up in an incredibly satisfying and emotional way" and then did exactly that!!!!!! the way they respect each other, communicate, genuinely try to get to each other without dumb miscommunication. the way they understand each other and lift each other up! the way joana knew how to recognize cris' intelligence when everyone was telling her she's dumb, the way cris knows how to make joana feel worth it and show her affection in such a selfless, loving way. their last scene on joana's pov in s4 was the first time i cried during that season, just because it was all wrapped up so beautifully. because eskam understood that although the appeal of their relationship comes from the soulmate status of every evak couple, they had to also put in serious work to make it all work and they also managed to get that across with grounded drama, and also a hopeful message for people struggling with mental disorders. like AAAAAAAAAAAAA god what a great couple they are. maybe i'm too much of an eskam bootlicker but they're genuinely the best evak there is. i'll die on this hill. i'm so happy young wlw get to watch them as a guideline of what they should expect of a relationship.

NORANDRO: already done :)

JORGEVA:

i mean... it's eskam's fault, without a doubt. i love what eskam did with them in s1: the change of pacing, the way they created jorge, the little story changes to make it more nuanced, i think come together in a pretty satisfying way to show a teenage romance with no real support to last for more than a while. i don’t think eskam fully got the gist of what jonas was supposed to be, but it’s for the better if we think of the message in season 1. for that reason, jorge is like the one jonas who i really wouldn’t mind coming back to his eva. so why don’t i like them?

the answer is simply that i don’t enjoy their trope and i don’t think eskam made a real case of eva and jorge getting back together. they work well as friends, sure, and it’s clear as day that jorge still has feelings for eva, sure. but like, what tells me that they’re just ready to go all in again? eva goes through a really great arc and i would definitely agree she’s in a good place to be in a relationship again, but we know NOTHING about jorge’s journey. he’s just, silently pining on eva and that’s it. i do think it’s sweet and the hints of their lost romance throughout the show are wholesome, but there’s just nothing more to it. jorge and eva work AMAZINGLY as friends! i don’t see why they should push a romantic endgame for them. in my head, eva kissing jorge at that party was just a mesh of the excitement of a new era, the nostalgia of ending highschool, the high of being on this place with someone she really cares about, stuff like that, but it just ends there, and it’s great that way. nothing about eva’s character really led to her aching to be in a relationship again, and for me it feels right to end things with her being single and surrounded by great friends.

MAYBE if eskam had devoted some time showing us their progress and romantic potential instead of trying to convince us that kasim was a real, compelling character. maybe. lol.

DAMIRA:

(god, i don’t know how long this will be LOL)

i have. so many thought about this fucking pairing. let’s see what we can do LOL. the thing about damira is that i don’t think it’s a pairing that eskam had in mind when they laid out the first two seasons. the little hints of a friendship/childhood crush that happened during cris’ season really got the fandom and they quickly became the most popular non-canon ship in the show, so that’s where i think eskam said “okay, let’s run with this”. but it’s just...... meh. like i can tell that relationships like crisana were carefully crafted (well implemented in nora’s season, greatly wrapped up in amira’s season) but i cannot say the same for dani and amira. it’s almost like virihugo, where they just started giving each other Eyes on the middle of season 3, out of NOWHERE. it just feels forced to me and so i never really felt anything for the couple in question... like, for starters, i think nora and miquel were WAY more shippable than those two, strictly talking about their setup.

if you ever saw any of my posts during s4 then you should know how i actually feel about how they developed their romance (check my anti damira tag for more?) and i don’t wanna go through all those specific points again... but damira is not only an infuriating romance, but also a bad pairing in a narrative setting. like, damira clearly exists to answer amira’s questions about how would the future of a romance with a white guy would be, right? does she get an answer? no she fucking doesn’t, their final clip is like “after all these weeks, we still have no idea so we’re gonna cut things short, go back to our initial dynamic, and wait to see if amira any of us change our minds <3″. so like, even in that sense damira is a HUGE waste of time, and just like everything that happens to amira during her season it has no lasting impacts on her character or her settings.

and personally, i love couples where they’re both equal, and communicate at last, and both make great efforts to change so the relationship can flourish. this is why i offer so much praise to norandro and crisana, where in the first couple both character go through tremendous character growth and work through their problems individually before getting together, and in the second couple they show them clashing and fighting just to display their resolutions and show how willing they are to actually talk to each other and keep their relationship stable. dani and amira, on the other hand.... blegh. eskam wants me to think dani is a knight in shining armor for liking amira but that’s all he ever does. he doesn’t defend her in front of his friends, he doesn’t make efforts to get to know her and her world, he doesn’t communicate his real feelings to her, and the one time he did he humiliated her in public. like, idk, like, even MIQUEL explicitly defended nora when his roommates berated her for not drinking alcohol LOL.

at the end of the day the problem with damira is that it completely misses the point of yousana and its target audience. making yousef a white guy is not necessarily a bad choice if you implement it well (which eskam didn’t do btw), but you have to take into account that sana’s season exists to make a primarily white christian-raised audience relate and stand up for the muslim characters in the show. when the lazier partner of the main couple who makes zero efforts to work on the relationship happens to be white, it just means people will be sympathetic of him, and nor amira - and that’s exactly what happened in the show. people either thought amira was being too harsh by laying conditions for dani before they even began dating and making sure he respected her boundaries, or just wanted all the drama to go away soon so amira could kiss dani by the end of the season. so like, yeah. terrible stuff.

i would’ve liked damira’s impact on the season and amira’s journey a lot more if it had been about a one sided childhood crush from amira’s part. i thought their friendship was charming up to s3, and i simply hate that dani is literally in no way an older brother figure for the girl squad, since it’s a dynamic that’s lacking in the show and it would be a nice way to make dani be some sort of non-creepy eskild for the girl squad (but noooo, his only interactions w the gs are hooking up with eva and dating amira. smh). it would’ve been fun to have amira intimately dealing with those feelings just to learn a lesson by the end of it, at the time that she also falls for her muslim love interest - which is actually the isak/jonas/even dynamic when you think about it, also something that eskam didn’t really do with cris’ season. but also, all of this would mean that eskam had to do the good writing thing for s4, which they kinda forgot to do throughout the entirety of the season so, yeah.

[we-want-mini-mini]

I’m currently listening to like, old FNAF songs because nostalgia and they’re fuckin’ bops y’all don’t @ me.

Anyways, because of this, I new prompt/oneshot came to mind. The Batfam somehow end up being kidnapped and they enter a version (of the version) of the first (or whichever game) FNAF game.

Like, say that the creator of the game was a Robotics engineer who had hopes of creating a game. So, they create this horror game, and get hella into it, so much so they wrote books, created a sort of real life version of it (miniature tho) and etc etc. Then the Dev presents the game to another branch of the company they work at and it gets shut down. They get laughed at and everything being told that the game would never succeed and etc etc. And adding onto the Developer’s tragic backstory is that they got back stabbed and got their designs stolen by a coworker and got fired for whatever reason.

Anyways, the Developer not only got humiliated, got their work stolen but they even got fired from their dream job. Resentment breeds and then they cronstructe a real life version of the game(s) they created. They went so far as to stay as close to their games lore (in FNAF the animatronics were possessed by kids, same thing applies here). So, this Creator got jilted, back stabbed and humiliated and went a bit crazy and killed a couple kids who “possessed” the animatronics (the kids could actually possess the animatronics or not, up to y’all, but let’s say in this prompt/oneshot, that they did).

Anyways, let’s say Red Hood heard about five kids from Crime Alley that went missing in the exact same location at different dates. This catches his eye and he researches it some more. The more he researches the more he finds out. For one, more then ten kids went missing at this one location (which is this kids pizzeria party hall). Jason, whose known to protect kids, especially if they’re from Crime Alley or are street kids. But, he finds these series of suspected kidnappings/disappearance of these kids really particular. Something is off and he wants to investigate it.

Switch to Red Robin’s POV were he’s out on patrol and finds crates full of various mechanical/robotic parts. He’s, rightfully so, confused as all hell and tries to investigate were the fuck these robotic parts are being shipped and who shipped them. Unfortunately, he couldn’t find anything of substance as whoever ordered these hid their tracks very well. He takes a couple of the parts to analyze back at the Batcave/the Nest. He opens a couple more crates but finds other shit, like painting equipment, marble titles, plaster and other shit that is usually used when someone is renovating a place. They all have the same markings and the like and RR is confused but starts to suspect that one of the Rogues might be up to something. He also has a theory that this might be the work of a new, and upcoming Rogue as the stuff he found doesn’t fit any of their current Rogues MO but he doesn’t ignore the possibility this might be one of their other Rogues work.

Then we switch to Batman’s POV where he was working a different case but then notices something. He notices that someone is skimming money (a fuck load of money) off of this one companies branch and no ones noticed as its covered up pretty well (but Batman caught some minor, but significant inconsistencies). He tried to track the money transcations as he’s worried one of the Rogues might be planning something or something akin to that. The more he digs, the less he can find because everything leads back to shell companies and to stuff that doesn’t exist. The trail is covered up pretty well but this is Batman, he’s the worlds greatest Detective so he manages to find out that the money is being used to buy... paint, titles, chairs, and various other household renovating items? He’s a bit confused but then thinks that this might be Mad Hatter but when he looks into all the stuff that’s being bought, it doesn’t fit Mad Hatters Wonderland Aesthetic/MO. Still, he keeps on eye on the transactions.

Cut to Nightwing & Robin out in Blüdhaven. They’re out on biweekly patrol together. It’s a rather slow night but Robin and Nightwing are having fun (and bonding ofc!). Then, at one point, when the duo stop a mugging, the lady that they saved made an offhand comment about some kids going missing. Robin’s instinct goes off and he asks the woman whats she’s talking about. The woman explains that some street kids she knew from her job at a youth center just stopped coming. She chalks it’s up to her paranoia but she thinks they might have been nabbed. Nightwing cuts in and offers to walk the woman home which they do. Robin is thinking back on the woman’s comment about a few “missing” street kids. He tries to rationalize it as these kids probably just leaving or ending up in a Dention Center but he can’t help but think about it. He remembers something RH said about street kids going missing at this one specific place. He can’t stop thinking about throughout the rest of his and Nightwings patrol. Nightwing notices that Robin isn’t very focused so he asks what wrong. Robin dances around the topic but eventually does tell Nightwing what’s on his mind.

“That woman we saved earlier said something that stuck with me.”

Nightwing raises his eyebrow. “What did she say that stuck with you?” Nightwing knew that trusting ones gut instinct is important. There’s a reason why something’s that might send alarms off. He just hoped Damian could trust those instincts.

“She offhandedly remarked about missing kids. She told us that some kids she knew from the youth center she worked at haven’t showed up in three months. I remembered, earlier something that Red Hood said about streets kids going missing from a specific location, all at varying times.”

Nightwing is a bit surprised, but he’s heard Jason talk about the case. He makes a note to investigate the missing kids in here and compare notes with Jason afterwards. He has a feeling that the missing kids in ‘Haven might be related to the one in Gotham (considering street kids are the ones going missing. That stuck out to him). He reassures Robin that he’ll investigate it, and Robin replies that he wants in. Dick sighs but let’s him (it’s be a great bonding experience! No matter how morbid in retrospect...).

Batgirl (Stephanie!) is out on patrol with Red Robin when they talk about any recent activity they’ve seen. Red Robin makes an offhand comment about how he found crates filled with house renovating shit but he couldn’t trace them back to anyone. Batgirl stops, as she remembered when two weeks back she was at the Harbor and found crates filled with tech and... house renovating stuff. Batgirl then asks Red Robin for the serial number that the crates had, he’s but confused but tells her. Batgirl then realizes, those weird ass crates she found and she couldn’t trace back were the same one Red Robin were investigating. She tells him this, and tells him that she found were one of the crates were being hauled off to. They both decide to cut patrol short (it was almost finished either way, but tonight was uncharacteristically quiet). They both head off to Red Robin’s Nest. They both exchange info about the weird ass crates and theories. Batgirl thinks that this might be the work of a new up and coming Rogue as everything she found in the crates doesn’t suit any of their current Rogues MO. Tim agrees with her, but can’t find anyone that could be their new Rogue.

Now with everyone having different cases, which are all interlocked together let’s get into...

Five Nights At Genni’s

Ft. The Batfam, the Developer, FNAF Case Fic AU, fuck canon because everyone is on pretty good terms, Lots of Dead Kids (👀), And Scary Ass Probably Possessed Animatronics!

COMING SOON!

because I’m to lazy to continue on with the prompt/oneshot but I’ll finish it don’t worry lol

Now, if anyone wants to write a whole ass AU case fix stemming from this prompt/oneshot, go ahead! I’d honestly love to read the Batfam try and piece together the FNAF lore, while within the game itself, while trying to figure who tf is doing all this shit. It’s perfect for like, writing a great case fic, an exploration of the Batfam’s relationship and the Batfam themselves. But, it doesn’t have to be serious! Like, if y’all don’t want to write the part about several dead kids and want to write a semi crack fic centered around the Batfam being within the FNAF games then go for it!

Anyone who sees this, tag your fav Batfam writer! Because I haven’t found when fics where the Batfam ever interact with the FNAF games (whether them as actual games or something like what I wrote above). I’d love to see their takes on this prompt!

[frazzledsoul]

Thanks for tagging me @dollsome-does-tumblr even though I haven't written fic in a gazillion years.

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line. Then tag 10 authors!

The first thing that hit Rory Gilmore when she woke up was an overwhelming sense of vertigo.

The migraine was encroaching on the borders of her skull soon followed.

Where was she?

(The Morning After, Gilmore Girls, post series, Rory/Jess, or what happens when two not-quite-stepcousins hook up and everyone in Stars Hollow debates whether they should be encouraging this or not)

The first time they tried a real relationship again, it was a disaster.

He hadn't seen or talked to her for five years. Part of him regretted that a little, but she did say no, and he knew he had to start fresh if he was going to make any sort of clean break from the family legacy that had claimed him long before he was born.

(The Dynastic Plan, Gilmore Girls, AYITL era, Rory/Logan, or Logan explains to us why he could not get his shit together with Rory during AYITL)

Luke first noticed that something was amiss when he picked April up from the airport.

It was the middle of spring and she was wearing a turtleneck, a baseball cap, and sunglasses. When he asked her about it, she shrugged and claimed she thought that Connecticut was having a late winter spell, which didn’t sound right to him at all.

(The Cactus Incident, Gilmore Girls, post-series, in which Luke learns about the avian misadventures of one of his offspring)

“This has gotten completely out of control.”

Lorelai glanced up at her husband from where she was sequestered at her usual table by the window, surrounded by her laptop, piles of eclipse glasses in various colors, assorted boxes and tubes sprinkled in glitter and confetti, and a pile of streamers that had half fallen to the floor.

“This is a major celestial event, Luke”, Lorelai insisted. “A once in a lifetime opportunity to escape the daily drudgery of life to celebrate standing in the middle of the street for two hours and looking at the sky while we are treated to the spectacle of the universe pretending to usher in the doomsday a way too significant portion of the population are eagerly anticipating at any given moment –“

Luke put up his hand. “I get it.”

(A Convergence of Fancies, Gilmore Girls, Rory/Jess overtones I guess, post-AYITL, or Stars Hollow celebrates the 2017 solar eclipse, Rory is a sleep deprived new mom, and Lorelai is concerned because her family is watching too much Game of Thrones, aka the most chaotic thing I have ever written and I'm sorry)

Richard Lucas Gilmore’s second Independence Day celebration was turning out to be a lot better than his first.

For one thing, he was actually awake for it.

Rory’s pregnancy had stretched a week and a half past its original due date, leading to the delivery of her squalling bundle of joy on a humid June morning after fifteen hours of labor.

(Independence, Gilmore Girls, post-AYITL, in which Luke and Lorelai celebrate Independence Day with their combined offspring and toddler grandson and Lorelai confronts her impending empty nest syndrome)

Lorelai had thought that sending Rory off into the adult world would make her feel like her heart was being ripped out of her chest.

She had been dreading it for days, weeks, maybe even years. Despite what everyone had told her when she was a newly knocked-up teenager, she still felt that those first eighteen years raising Rory as she grew up herself had been the easy part.

(Full Circle, Gilmore Girls, post-series, in which Lorelai and Rory go through the same major milestones at the same time)

The fall of 2017 was turning out to be quite a revelation for Lorelai Gilmore-Danes.

She had never loved fall quite as much as she loved winter. Sure, there was the crispness wrought by the change of seasons and the concurrent excuse to shop for brightly colored sweaters and boots.

(The Grandparents, Gilmore Girls, Luke/Lorelai, post-AYITL, or Rory's love triangle and parenting woes as seen through Luke and Lorelai's eyes)

Few enterprises seemed to be designed with a specific target in mind quite as much as Facebook was for Lorelai Gilmore.

It caught her a little by surprise. Sure, she knew the basics of using a computer to run her business and control her finances. She could be disciplined and organized when she absolutely needed to be, and there was little use in clinging to outdated technology.

(Boundaries, Gilmore Girls, Luke/Lorelai, post-AYITL, or Luke and Lorelai try to rebuild their relationship and are very angsty about it)

Luke and Lorelai's third Valentines Day as a married couple started in the usual way.

It was usually their tradition to spend the holiday at home, but this year they had departed for Luke's cabin on the lake to spend a few days by themselves before the rest of the family joined them on Sunday. It was a beloved, time-honored tradition between the two of them to devote this day to each other to celebrate with their own brand of fanfare. Their adult children knew to stay very far away from them during this time.

(A Season of Peace, Luke/Lorelai and Rory/Logan, post-AYITL, in which Luke and Lorelai spend a weekend in the snow with their brood and we get an update on the younger generations's relationship statuses)

"Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm pregnant."

She turned to face me. Gap-mouthed. Shocked. Disappointed. Humiliated.

This was not how I planned to share this news.

(A Simple Twist of Fate, Gilmore Girls, AU but fairly canon adjacent, in which Jess is Rory's baby daddy and Rory discovers that he has not exactly been solely pining for her in the years they were apart)

Jess didn't exactly intend to introduce his daughter to professional sports in this manner.

For the most part, he and Rory weren't quite the stereotypical thirtysomething hipster couple that they sometimes appeared to be. Sure, Rory was still occasionally breast-feeding after seven and a half months, and you could find quinoa and kimchi in their fridge stocked next to the baby food and hoagies.

(Home, post-AYITL, Rory/Jess, a "fast forward" of ASTOF in which Rory and Jess raise their daughter in Philadelphia and try to avoid admitting that they are no longer hip)

Lorelai Gilmore's journey to becoming an active participant in Stars Hollow town life was a bumpy one.

She stepped off of the bus in Stars Hollow a few months after her eighteenth birthday, freshly divorced and clutching her almost two-year-old daughter by the hand, determined to talk herself into whatever opportunity presented itself to her. She wasn't able to work on her charms on Taylor Doose at the grocery store, or Fran Weston at the bakery, but William Danes at the hardware store gave her directions to the inn at the outskirts of town and an offer to work the counter at his store if things didn't work out.

(Beginnings, Gilmore Girls, pre-series/AU, Luke/Lorelai, in which Lorelai and Luke's parenting situations are reversed: she and Christopher are divorced and he is involved in Rory's life but Luke is raising April by himself after Anna flaked out, and they start to bond)

Lorelai Gilmore Danes didn't expect to have empty nest syndrome hit her quite like this.

She'd spent much of her adult life – even long before she was technically an adult – tethered to Rory's side and not regretting a second of it. Then Rory was grown up and off exploring the world, and she was settled down with Luke in their unconventional but happily domestic manner.

(Glimpses Through the Looking Glass, Gilmore Girls, drabble series that goes all over the place based on #NationalFillInTheBlankDay)

Ted and Robin's seemingly long-awaited reconciliation lasted just short of six months.

Five months, three weeks, and two days, to be exact. Not that anyone was counting, least of all Robin.

(Making It Easy, How I Met Your Mother, Barney/Robin, post-series, in which Robin figures out that dating a widowed Ted is actually a very bad idea)

In the end, it was decided that the best way to resolve the battle for the Iron Throne was to dissolve it completely.

It had been a savage war, far more savage than any of its players had fought up to this point. Euron and Cersei were dead.

(The Calm, Game of Thrones, post-series but written halfway through season 8 so it doesn't include any of the stuff that people hate, in which I come up with a solution to the Jonerys dilemma that no one liked but it was still better than canon)

Summer finally bloomed beyond the wall five years after Jon Snow had crossed it for the last time.

Sometimes it seemed to him that everything before those five years was nothing more than a half-remembered dream. He had braced for his departure for the wall half-hopeful: at least this grand march towards kingship, the burden of unwanted responsibilities, the dread in his chest as he wondered if he would survive to the end of the latest war was over.

(After, Game of Thrones, post-series, Jon/Tormund, or in which Jon Snow is living happily ever after beyond the wall with his ginger, his dog, and a family of his own because I am in charge and I say so)

“You’re still shit at that, you know,” Tormund whispered in Jon’s ear.

Magritte snickered from the other corner of the main room of their cabin where she was roughhousing with Ghost. Alsi sighed beside her, picking up her bow from where it was lying beside her and inspecting it for flaws.

(The Line, Game of Thrones, post-series, Jon/Tormund, in which Jon is still living happily ever after but takes his family to visit Queen Sansa)

The images solidified in Jaime’s mind as he made his way through the streets.

Charred skeletons. Screaming children. Rampaging soldiers. Blood. Smoke. Mangled limbs. Chaos. He couldn’t keep any of it straight.

(The Lion and the Snow - Snapshots, Game of Thrones, AU, Jaime/Brienne, in which Jon is King, Jaime is the Hand Without A Hand, Brienne is the Lady Commander of the Kingsguard, they are all disasters, and I am not telling this story in order)

Tormund didn’t intend to get seriously involved with anyone when he moved to King’s Landing.

It had been a rough couple of years. Hell, the entire last decade had been its own special blend of unexpected pleasure and slow, turgid, relentless episodes of confusion and pain. That was adulthood, he supposed. Always one damn thing after another.

(The Dragon Heist, Game of Thrones, modern AU, in which single dad Tormund - Brienne is his baby mama - falls in love with art student Jon Snow and there are lots of coparenting shenanigans)

Patterns: Gee, I like to start these stories off with long, complicated explanations of everyone's relationship status.

Favorites: I guess that would be starting off The Morning After with Rory half-horrified at what she has gotten into. I also like dropping right in on Jonmund domesticity in The Line.

Tagging: @fineosaur, @seethemflying, @aliveanddrunkonsunlight, @janiedean, @angel-deux-writes, @littlerockerao3, @istaricelebelasse, @tormundjonthings, @sdwolfpup, and anyone else who feels like it (apologies if y'all have already been tagged)

[lifeisdabubbles-undersalmondean]

La Pomme ~ Chapter Eight

Pairing: Sam x OC (eventual Dean x OC and Dean x Castiel. And I mean eventual.)

Series summary: George is a casual French-Mistake-universe Supernatural fan living in no-COVID 2020, who's life is upended when she's suddenly launched between realities, two years into the boys' past (S13E22). What begins as an insane, immersive fan experience turns into more when Jack goes missing and George offers up her AU information to help track him down. Soon it's discovered that she and Sam may actually have history. But that's impossible, right?

Word Count: 3,900

Warnings: {smut, fluff, angst, show level violence, swearing, mentions of suicide} ***Detailed warnings will be tagged for specific chapters.

A/N: Following the events of my prequel Paradise and second story From My Eyes Off. Reading those first gives context but isn’t necessary to start this one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Collapsing into one of the comfier library chairs set between some stacks, George took a sip of the small glass of whiskey she figured she'd earned. She'd just scolded a fucking demon from hell. What was she thinking?! It had been pretty cool, but pissing off an evil, powerful being was maybe not the smartest. She could have gotten herself killed!

It had been unavoidable though; upon realizing that Demon Tim must have been the reason they suspected her of being involved in Jack's disappearance, she had been furious. Not only was it not true, it was insulting, humiliating, and just plain rude. It was also simply a bad plan. So, she took it upon herself to enlighten him and to correct his offensive insinuations. Hopefully, it wouldn't come back to bite her in the ass.

Her focus shifted then to Jack. Reflecting over her time there, there were things she remembered having happened on the show. The refugees in the bunker, AU Michael attacking, Jack losing his powers, Lucifer dude being just a regular human dude now; all of it was familiar, even when it terrified her (see: AU Michael attack). But, when they told her Jack was missing, she was thrown off at first. It wasn't something she remembered seeing on the show. Then again, she'd only just finished binging from season 10 to the end of 13 a couple weeks ago and hadn't started 14 yet. So, maybe she was past the point of being able to tell when things were part of their prescribed timeline or not? Therefore, even if Jack had been kidnapped on the show, she wouldn't have any info for them, right?

The problem was, the more she thought about it the more she began to believe she had seen something about this storyline. Jack being missing, the three of them going to save him-

Was it Ryan telling you about some episode where they rescued Jack in the redwoods? They had filmed it on location at some tourist spot you went to as a kid all the time and she thought you'd think it was cool… where was that?

She couldn't remember, and it frustrated her. She was also worried that she was making this all up just to be helpful.

Taking another sip, she allowed her thoughts to wander between episode scenes like an internal microfiche as she tried to nail down her recollection, No, I can definitely picture all four of them in the woods and fighting. Someone had kidnapped Jack, wanting his powers for something… was it the angels?

"Well, that was interesting," Dean stated, startling her out of her thoughts. The three of them were walking into the library a surprisingly short while after she left them with Tim.

Looking up at them, she set the glass down on a nearby shelf and stood up. Dean didn't elaborate further while he poured his own glass. The expressions each one wore were indiscernible and she grew nervous.

"Oh?" George raised a brow and looked between them, "Did he talk? Because you know, I've actually been sitting here thinking about this whole situation and something about Jack going missing is very familiar. Now, unfortunately, I am a few seasons behind, and-""

Dean took a sip, looking at her with curious amusement, and interrupted, "I was talking about you."

George looked surprised and then grimaced, "No, no. I'm not interesting, not at all. I'm the exact opposite of interesting. I'm-I'm… I'm…"

"Uninteresting?" Castiel offered helpfully as she struggled to find the words. Sam and Dean rolled their eyes in unison.

"Right! Thank you, Castiel. I'm highly uninteresting." She gulped a bit and wrung her hands as the three of them kept watching her. In the silence, she nervously looked in Castiels direction and blurted quickly, "I'm also George! Hi! Really nice to meet you! Big fan!"

"Nice to meet you," Castiel smiled awkwardly and nodded a greeting, looking at the other two with a confused expression, "...fan of what?"

"Right, positively boring," Sam interjected sarcastically before he could stop himself. He definitely thought she was interesting. First she's just a beautiful woman, then she's a beautiful woman he may or may not have had a life altering dream about ten years ago, and now she was a beautiful woman from an alternate reality where his life was a prime time television show… who he may or may not have had a life altering dream about ten years ago. 'Uninteresting' was definitely not an adjective he'd use for her.

Dean snorted, "Yea, boring is the last word I would use to describe that scene earlier. You caused Tim to sing like a canary, by the way."

Her jaw dropped in disbelief, "Say what?"

"I almost say we hire her to be our monster torture hypeman," He joked, looking at Sam with a raised eyebrow.

Sam ignored him and addressed Geroge's question, "After you left, Tim-"

"Cleetus," Dean interjected sarcastically.

"Cleetus… well, he sort of... started crying? He said he'd tell us everything we wanted to know if we promised to keep you away from him." Sam looked strangely apologetic and she let a few nervous chuckles escape, unsure whether to believe what they were saying.

"We think you hurt his feelings," Castiel explained further. "Which fortunately seemed to motivate him to talk, so thank you."

"I guess his demon mommy didn't teach him about sticks and stones," Dean cracked, taking another swig.

"Huh. OK. Neat!" George didn't know what to say; she was confused and strangely proud of herself. But she didn't want them to think she wasn't chill, so she shrugged nonchalantly, "You're welcome, I guess. Anyway, as I was saying, I'm not caught up to the current season of my timeline but I think I remember this whole Jack-gone-missing thing a little bit. I want to say you all track him down somewhere in… Oregon? Washington? I'm getting a Northwest-ish feeling." She began unconsciously pacing around the room, gesturing energetically with her hands. "I can picture a battle taking place in the woods...Jack being in danger, you all being in danger, too...some fighting...maybe someone losing the fight? Or getting really hurt," She glanced worriedly at Castiel. He'd be the only actor they'd axe of the three of them, so it stood to reason he'd be the most likely to die if she was right.

Dean and Sam shared a look before Dean asked, "Fine, I'll bite. Do you know a city? A time-frame? Who we're fighting? Anything specific?"

George paused and then slumped a bit in defeat, "No. I've only really watched up through, like, literally now. Other than random things I've heard or seen in passing, I don't know anything that's happened since ya'll got back from the apocalypse world. Been purposefully trying to avoid spoilers, too, which is a decision I now regret, obviously."

"OK, well look, sweetheart, it's OK," Dean began, in an embarrassingly condescending, douchey tone, "We don't expect you to help us. I mean, we're grateful about the assist with Cleetus, obviously but this-" Dean vaguely motioned in her direction and she raised an offended eyebrow, "-was obviously just a weird magical mess that Rowena left for us to clean up yet again. So, you just sit back and relax, and once we find Jack we'll figure out how to get you back home in a jiff, OK?" He winked and finger gunned at her, adding, "Don't you worry your pretty little head about it." In his way, Dean was trying to convey to her a sense of ease and comfort that they would take care of things. But, unsurprisingly, he came off incredibly dismissive and patronizing. Her cheeks flushed an angry red; she'd had it up to here with him by now.

Sam and Castiel exchanged nervous glances at the look on her face and Sam tried to stop it before the inevitable happened, "Uh, Dean, mayb-"

Cutting him off, George slowly walked toward Dean, eyes blazing, "Listen sweet cheeks." She had a polite smile on her face as she tried her hardest to muster up the same condescending, silky, sweet Dean-tone, "I'm sympathetic to the fact that you can't help but be an insufferably arrogant ass most of the time-that's just how you were written," for a split second she saw Dean's cool-guy-smug-face falter and she relished it. She could tell she landed a blow, even if it was a small one, "but maybe you could do us all a favor and try to ignore your cro-magnon dated natural urges and attempt to be open minded for once in your life? Just try to consider the fact that, like it or not, I might not be a total useless red-shirt? That maybe I-once again the lone female in the entire world according to Supernatural-might actually be useful? Hmm? Might actually have useful-albeit vague-information for you? Or would taking your lead from a woman be too threatening to you overbearing, uber-macho, 'we-get-it-you're-totally-straight' masculinity?"

Dean's head jerked back in offense, "Now, wait a minute! What's that supposed to mean?"

"Don't worry your pretty little head about it," She mocked him in a deep, goofy tone, high-fiving herself internally. Nailed it! She'd always hated how damn smug his character was. Yes, fine, he was hot and charming and smart as fuck and right at least like 75% of the time, but he didn't have to be so fucking arrogant about it all the time. She preferred a man with some humility.

Sam was smirking at the look on Dean's face and muttered teasingly, "How does it feel, Cleetus?"

"Except, you actually don't." Cas interjected begrudgingly, as he thoroughly enjoyed watching Dean get verbally bitch-slapped. In fact, he could watch it all day, but they needed to focus on Jack.

"Scuse me?" She said, maintaining her sweet tone while staring daggers at Dean. "Don't what?"

"Have useful information for us," the angel said begrudgingly matter-of-fact.

"Er," Sam interjected seeing the look on her face, "Uh, well, it's just according to Tim-Cleetus-whatever, Jack is being held captive inside an old church in a small ghost town outside Butte."

Dean slapped his hands over his mouth in mock surprise and then, taking a few steps toward George, he mimed a balloon being popped by an impractically large needle. He had an impossibly large grin spread across his face.

"She still has a point, Dean," Sam sighed in an annoyed, if not slightly embarrassed, tone at his brother's display.

Cas nodded in agreement, "Yes, you were incredibly condescending and unfriendly in your attempt at being friendly earlier. Even though she's wrong about Jack, she's right about your inability to relinquish control-to anyone, though, not specifically women."

"You all suck." Dean said flatly.

George ignored him and shook her head. She was more and more sure about her information by the second; despite her doubts she could feel she was right. "Listen, I'm telling you, Jack is not in some bullshit church in Montana. He's…" She struggled to remember. "Erg, somewhere rainy and wooded!"

"Rainy and wooded, you say?" She cringed angrily at the sound of Dean's voice. "That's really great, very helpful. Say, maybe we should look up your little murder buddy-OwnsHisOwnAxe69, was it?-and ask if he's got Jack stashed in the Marin Headlands?" Dean's voice dripped with sarcasm.

George shook her head at him and closed her eyes tight in an effort to block out his negativity. Walking slowly away from him and into the map room, she started talking to herself, in a pointedly loud voice. Her focus bounced between episodes from the show and conversations with her friend, Ryan, a Supernatural Encyclopedia. She was hoping she could piece together something useful.

"OK, hang on, Jack is born, gets sucked into Apocalypse World, comes back, has his grace stolen but he's safely with you guys, he's happy, he's great-albeit, moody and not the best at video games. Then he disappears and you can't find him, yadda yadda."

While she rambled, her mind's eye began conjuring images of what she assumed were scenes from the episode she was trying to think of. While helpful, it was also disconcerting since she'd never actually seen it. She thought perhaps she'd seen clips on youtube while watching bloopers? She never could stay away from them, even if she hadn't seen the episode yet; they were just too funny. Maybe her overactive imagination was just creating scenes around what little knowledge she did have, "...and there's an epic-potentially deadly-fight scene at the end of one of the last episodes of the season. An episode that was, oh so noteworthily filmed on location iiiiinnn…" She tried to demand that her memories behave for her but it was challenging, considering she shouldn't have any memories of having watched the damn thing at all. "...where? Fuck me!" She snarled, chasing desperately after her murky visions as they swirled too abstractly for her to discern.

In a sudden moment of unusual clarity she could see the words displayed behind her eyelids. '...False Klamath? Where the fuck… why does that sound familiar? She flashed to the location in her memories and saw big wooden statues towering outside the scenic little tourist trap

Her eyes popped open with a gasp, "Johnny Appleseed!"

"Johnny Appleseed?" Dean teased, mock exasperatedly, "We're trying to find JACK."

"The Johnny Appleseed statue at The Trees of Enigma! Just outside False Klamath, Oregon!" She slammed both her hands down on the table in front of her in uncontrollably jubilant victory. "HA! Take THAT!" She jumped up excitedly and punched her fist in the air. "I did it! I remembered!"

"Sam, can you translate any of this?" Dean asked, annoyed.

"On the show," She started smugly, before Sam could say anything, "the battle that you two get into when you find Jack, takes place at a tourist spot called The Trees of Enigma. The episode was filmed on location at said tourist spot, in-say it with me now-False Klamath, Oregon. Oregon, Dean. A place that is known for being both rainy and wooded." Her finger was placed on the map table in the general area of Oregon, "that's where you'll find Jack. I'm sure of it." Her adrenaline was pumping and she was so stoked. It felt really good to be useful; like she was part of the show!

"Yea, that's great, sounds fun," Dean started dismissively, though toned down a bit, "but we're not risking Jack's life to follow your hunch."

"Excuse me. Why is my so-called hunch less believable than a demon's word? Especially a demon named Cleetus. Rude," George looked particularly offended now.

"Tim gave us real, solid intel and we've never had a problem when we've relied on our trusted resources in the past," He answered confidently. George's head jerked toward him like she hadn't heard correctly and she gave Sam and Castiel some crazy eyebrows.

"Sorry, you understand that I do watch the show, right?" She asked rhetorically, with a doubtful expression. When he rolled his eyes, she let out a frustrated huff. "Dean, think about this! He's a demon! He lies! Look, I know you have no reason in the world to trust me but you've got to; just think about it. Even IF it is demons that have Jack, don't you think it's possible that the prisoner demon you're threatening to torture might give you a false lead? Especially if he's naive enough to think he'll be able to escape and doesn't want to get in trouble with his bosses? C'mon, this is not-the-sharpest-tack-Tim we're talking about!"

Sam and Castiel had agreeably expressions but Dean's was stubbornly disagreeable, though she could tell he knew she was right. The thought of them going to Montana gave her a dreadful, suffocating feeling, like death.

So, she tried one more tactic and held her hands up in prayer, "Dean please, I don't know what and I don't know how I know, but I know in my gut that if you go to Montana, something terrible will happen. And Jack's not there, I promise you." She dropped all the bullshit and gave him her best seriously-just-listen-to-me face but Dean still wasn't budging.

"Christ, I knew you were stubborn but this is ridiculous, ugh. OK, fine!" She threw her hands up and turned on her heel, heading toward the dungeon.

"Wait, where are you going?" Sam asked quickly.

"Obviously I didn't hurt his feelings badly enough the first time, so I'm going to go have another chat with Cleetus and get him to admit that he's a liar, liar, pant-"

"Er-you... can't do that," Sam cut her off apologetically.

"Sam, he's handcuffed to a chair. I appreciate the concern but-"

"He means you really can't," Dean added. George looked toward him annoyed and Dean continued, "After he gave us everything we needed we pretty much, chk," he finished, slicing a finger across his throat in demonstration. When she looked like she wanted to strangle him, he shrugged and offered, "RIP Cleetus."

George rolled her eyes in exasperation, "But he was lying! Don't you confirm the information before you cut off the source?! Oh my god, why am I even asking? You're the Winchesters, of course you don't." The three of men looked between each other guiltily and she placed her hand on her hip, "What if that was just an act and Tim saw an opportunity. Feeding you some bullshit so that you couldn't actually find Jack? Or, maybe Tim has nothing to do with Jack at all, and sending you to Montana is just a good old fashioned ambush?!" She paused for a moment and gave a surprised, appreciative nod, "Hmm, maybe I underestimated ole' Cleetus a bit. Could have been smarter than I thought."

"She does have a point, Dean. The chances that he was lying are incredibly high," Cas conceded slightly, giving Dean a questioning look. "We have no proof that his lead is any better than hers. Demon's lie."

"Damnit, alright, fine," Dean said, sighing angrily. "Sam and I will go to Oregon to look for Jack; Cas, check out Butte-carefully, strictly recon, do not engage-and call us if you find any trace of him." He shot a quick warning look at George. "We'll turn around and come right to you. Sound like a plan? Great, let's go."

"Wait, no! Don't send him to Butte! Didn't you hear me? If it's an ambush, he'll get his ass kicked!"

"Hey." Cas looked hurt and George softened her face at him.

"Oh, I'm sorry Castiel. You're a total badass when the plot calls for it, otherwise, getting beat up is just kind of your MO." Ignoring the confused look on the angel's face, She turned back to Dean, "and besides you need Castiel in Oregon, Dean. I've seen it!"

"Oh? I thought you hadn't 'seen this episode yet'?" Dean said sarcastically.

"I-I… Well, OK, I haven't, but I've seen the three of you and Jack all together for this fight. Just trust me, you need him there. What if Jack is hurt when you find him? Cas can heal him, right?" She made a questioning face to Castiel; at the moment she couldn't remember the extent of his powers on the show and he was always losing one or another for whatever reason, anyway. But if she was right, she figured that even if Dean wouldn't trust her gut, he might trust that having a healing angel on their journey would be a benefit. "Is that a power you have? I feel like I've seen you do that."

"She's right, Dean. I can heal him if we find him injured," Cas offered her helpfully and she shot him a grateful expression, actually looking him in the eyes for the first time, albeit fleetingly.

"Have you seen Jack get hurt?" Sam asked her, trying to help, too. He remained a neutral party at this point, but if he was honest with himself, he believed her. Maybe a little too much, which is why he was trying to stay impartial. If he was being blinded by his confusing memories and the undeniable-yet-currently-being-denied feelings he was developing for her and ended up wrong, Jack could be killed.

"Uh… I mean, no… not definitively, but it's pretty standard for the show. You're all constantly getting hurt during fights and when it's close to a season finale the danger factor is skyhigh for anyone who isn't you two…" After motioning to the brothers, she trailed off, afraid that this reasoning was going to hurt her more than help her.

Sam gave her a long, contemplative look before finally offering, "I can have a small team go check out Butte. Maybe Garth can join? Last time I talked to him he was near there."

Dean's teeth and fists were clenched as he took a deep, exaggerated breath, "Fine. We'll send a group to Butte and call Garth from the road-No arguments!" He held up his hand to her as she opened her mouth to speak. "The three of us are going to Oregon, just as you demand, but I'm not leaving anything to chance on some alien's hunch. Garth can handle himself."

She made an indignant face at him-she wasn't an alien, she was from an alternate reality! Get it right. But, while she was afraid of someone getting hurt in the obvious trap that had been set for them in Montana, the thought of Garth going instead didn't give her the same full-body fear shudder. So, she figured she'd take what she could get and not push the issue further. Besides, she knew Dean wasn't going to be happy about her next move and she had to pick her battles.

[dvp95]

quiet on widow’s peak (14)

pairing: dan howell/phil lester, pj liguori/sophie newton/chris kendall rating: teen & up tags: paranormal investigator, mystery, online friendship, slow burn, strangers to lovers, nonbinary character, trans character, background poly, phil does some buzzfeed unsolved shit and dan is a fan word count: 3.4k (this chapter), 46.4k (total) summary: Phil’s got a list of paranormal experiences a mile long that he likes to share with the world. Abandoned buildings, cemeteries, and ghost stories have always called his name, and a particular fan of his has a really, really good ghost story.

read this chapter on ao3 or here!

"You're Martyn's brother, right?"

"Martyn is my brother," Phil corrects her, doing his best to keep a straight face. He's never met the teenager, but she'd been happy enough to get on Skype with him for his last-ditch attempt at getting some information that isn't useless. He's really running out of ideas, and he isn't sure how much longer he can stretch this case out. "And you're Frankie's sister."

"Frankie is my sister," she repeats. Her grin is wide, her teeth straight and lips painted a dark pink. Phil wonders how that colour would look on Dan.

Great. He'd managed a whole thirteen minutes of coordinating this Skype call without thinking about Dan. It's a new record at this point, and all it took to break it was the memory of how pretty Dan looked with lip stuff on.

"I'm going to start recording now," he says, getting his various windows all sorted before pressing the big red button on his software. "Can you state your name and connection to the case for us?"

"Sure. I'm Val and I'm one of the people responsible for the sigils in the Wilkins place attic."

Phil freezes. He hadn't known that. Val had simply confirmed that she and her friends had gotten in trouble for trespassing in September, and now Phil feels like an unprepared idiot for not seeing how connected she was to the mystery before he hit call. He wonders what Dan would say about that.

He checks the time again. Definitely less than thirteen minutes that time.

"Will you tell us a bit about sigils in your own words?" Phil asks. Maybe if he keeps her talking, he’ll have time to lasso his wandering mind back into place. "I've done my own research, of course, but I think it can be useful to hear it from someone who knows what they're talking about, y'know? Plus," he adds, giving her a conspiratory sort of smile, "then I can use your voiceover instead of recording one myself."

Val laughs and launches into a Sigils For Dummies explanation that Phil does his best not to interrupt. He asks some leading questions and mentions his own hit or miss experience with taking sigils into the house. For a teenager, she's surprisingly eloquent. Moreso than Phil is, anyway.

They talk a bit about the Wilkins place the way he had with the other people he's interviewed, because he's fairly certain that Val's testimony will be the only one that he actually ends up using for his video. He doesn't let himself feel any creeping sense of hope, though. She could still have nothing aside from some fun backstory, and this whole investigation could still be a failure.

Not just the investigation, either. Phil doesn't like to conflate his own worth with the content he produces, because there are always going to be people who are unhappy with what he does - including himself, more and more lately - and he can't be worrying about his future every time a video doesn't pan out the way he wants it to. Something about this case is making him feel that in a way he tries very hard not to on others. Maybe it's how close it is to home, quite literally, or just how helpless he'd felt while waiting for his friends to wake up.

This investigation could still be a failure, and so could Phil. He can't deny how entwined those are right now.

Phil knows he shouldn't be basing his decisions on something as volatile as a single YouTube video, not when he's usually comfortable posting anything that's entertaining, but he feels like the tide is coming in and he's going to get swept away unless he moves somewhere.

"So, back to your sigils specifically," says Phil. He's supposed to be taking notes or something, probably, but instead he's just doodling some half-assed sigils of his own.

"Yes. We heard about all the incidences and, while we were pretty sure that not everything going around was true, my friends and I wanted to check in and make sure. We did a couple of different rituals first, cleansing the space and trying to see if we could find the presence, but..." Val went quiet for a long moment. "Well. I don't know what exactly was in there, but there was something."

"What makes you so sure?" Phil asks quietly.

"Well, you can feel it," she says. She runs her hands over her own forearms, like she's a mime pretending to be cold. "Goosepimples. Hair on the back of your neck standing up. You keep wanting to turn around, but nothing is looking back at you from the darkness."

Phil keeps his own input rather impartial in interviews. There's no real reason to alert anyone to his own opinions on what might be going on - that's what the wrap-up is for.

So instead of telling Val that he felt everything she's talking about, he simply asks, "Is that all?"

"No," says Val. "No, the rituals we tried to do... it didn't work, Phil. And I know you might be thinking that rituals aren't supposed to work or that magic isn't real or something, but it's not just that nothing happened. It's that... it was like something was messing with them on purpose. My candles kept blowing out even though there wasn't a draught and Sammy's sage bundle just... disappeared. It really scared us, to be honest."

"Why didn't you just leave the place alone from then on?"

"We knew people weren't going to stop partying there," she says. "And that's... a choice, I guess. But we wanted to help if we could, so..."

"So you put the sigils on the floor," he says when she can only finish with a vague gesture. "I know that you can't tell me their exact meanings or anything, since you don't know them anymore, but can you give me a general gist of what you guys were trying to do?"

"Sure, yeah," she says, shifting around like she's getting comfortable in her chair. Phil can see an incense burner on her desk next to a perilous-looking stack of books, and he wishes he could light a candle or something. His room, and his parents' whole house really, has been smelling like nothing but cleaning supplies since he got here. "We took different roles, kind of? I focus on minor protection most of the time, so it was my job to make sigils that would sort of protect innocent people from coming into contact with whatever the entity was, while Sammy is more about healing and cleansing - she was trying to heal the house, I think. We tried not to talk about them in detail so we didn't fuck each other's things up, because the whole thing felt a bit too high-stakes for that."

Phil doesn't know nearly enough about sigils to know whether or not the ones in the attic were helpful or harmful, but he's glad he didn't have to talk to a bunch of teenagers trying to summon a demon or anything. For the second time this year.

"That's really good of you to try," Phil says with a little smile. He's trying to figure out exactly how he should play this one. "And you covered a good amount of the floor."

"Of course, that's when the cops got called," Val grins back.

"That's when the cops always get called," he says.

He's got a handful of other questions for her, but Val doesn't actually know much more about the Wilkins place that she hasn't already told him, and he doesn't want a lesson on protection magic today. She says that he can email her when the video is up, and to send her any other interesting magic cases he comes across in the future.

The future. Phil is trying not to think about that too much right now. He promises, anyway, and ends the call on a fairly light note.

He's got more of an idea how he wants this video to look, now that he's gotten one of the small mysteries solved. He exports the video and audio from the call separately, knowing he's going to use a good chunk of Val's answers as narration over the surviving footage. Not that he has much of that - just the tour of the house that he and his friends had gotten the first night and some more dark corners in VHS and Polaroid form. He knows that he can make a video out of what he's got.

The problem is that he also knows it won't be good enough.

Sure, it might be good enough for his audience - most of them, anyway, since he's got a pretty stubborn set of fans - but it isn't good enough for Phil.

His suspicion is confirmed after a couple more hours of cobbling together what survived into a rough edit, which he sends off to PJ. After a moment of thought, he adds a final line to the email.

P.S. I know you already told me that you aren't a gender guru and that was really funny and everything and I don't expect you to like educate me or whatever, but why do things get so effing complicated with it????? Like I had myself figured out and now I don't, and that sucks.

--

PJ calls him a little after dinner, lulling Phil into a false sense of security with questions and comments and suggestions about the video. Phil has almost forgotten about the postscript entirely, but then PJ cheerfully says, "So you're an idiot, huh?"

"Yeah," says Phil. "Wait, why?"

"What's so complicated about gender for you?" PJ asks, and Phil wishes he'd never answered the phone. "Are you questioning?"

"You know that I'm not," says Phil, rolling his eyes.

They've known each other for years, and PJ is his best friend, and there is no way in hell that he doesn't know exactly why Phil is Googling words he'd only ever thought about in passing before. He can practically hear PJ's smirk. He seriously considers hanging up before this gets even more humiliating.

"Yeah, I know, but thought I'd ask in case," says PJ. "It would be irresponsible of me as your token trans friend to act like I know how you feel about your own gender."

It's the first time that Phil has actually heard him use the word. He'd always imagined that PJ talked in riddles on purpose, like maybe he didn't actually want to use words for things when he could use extended metaphors and jokes instead, but it's possible that Phil just hadn't been paying enough attention, because PJ sounds ridiculously comfortable with saying it out loud.

"You're not my token anything," Phil says. He waits a beat, picturing PJ's skeptical expression, before he adds, "Dan's my friend, too."

"Dan," PJ repeats. "You've got it bad, my friend."

"What?"

"I can hear it in your voice. You already miss them, don't you? You've been spending all your spare time with them already, you absolute knob. And let me guess," PJ continues before Phil can even attempt to defend himself, "you've got it in your head that liking Dan makes you less gay?"

Phil touches the tip of his nose and then remembers that PJ can't actually see him.

"Maybe," Phil hedges. He knows that PJ is right and he's sure that PJ knows it too, but admitting that is a whole other beast. "And it's also, like... it isn't fair, is it?"

"Fair to who?"

Despite everything in Phil wanting to brush the subject off and start talking about ghosts instead, he takes a moment to consider the question. He supposes that it isn't fair to either of them, really. His feelings for Dan are throwing everything he knows about his sexuality into question and he doesn't know how to deal with that.

Because Phil is gay. He's very gay. He's known it for a long time, even if most of his family members are still in the dark about it, and he's never had reason to think about it like this before. Sure, he's had the usual fantasies of how much easier things would be if he were straight, but he's never actually wanted to be. Maybe he doesn't talk about it the way some people do, but that's because it's far from the most interesting thing about him. Phil has never really considered it other peoples' business.

That doesn't change the fact that it's a fundamental part of him.

Someone who's gorgeous and tall and has big hands that fit ridiculously well into Phil's own shouldn't be enough to throw a wrench in that certainty. But they have, and Phil can't keep acting like they haven't.

PJ is being patient, waiting for Phil to find the words. There's some kind of video game music on his end that Phil can't immediately place, and Phil has a weird moment of homesickness for PJ and the Brighton house, even though it hasn't been that long since they were there together.

"It's not fair to anyone," Phil eventually says. "I think it's pretty obvious why it isn't fair to me, but it isn't fair to Dan either."

"Humour me," says PJ. "Why isn't it fair?"

"Dan isn't... a man," Phil says, slow. He pulls a face at his ceiling, knowing how clumsy he sounds right now. "And I don't think I'd like them if they weren't..."

"You wouldn't be attracted to them if they had a typically feminine body, right?" PJ asks, and then immediately continues as if Phil had answered. "That's not unfair, Phil. I seriously doubt Dan would be bothered by it."

"We don't know them that well," says Phil. It feels a bit like a lie, because he feels like he does know Dan fairly well at this point, but he needs PJ to understand where he's coming from with this. "And I don't know if they'd even be comfortable enough to tell me if they were bothered."

There's a long moment where the only sound is Phil's own breathing and the music of PJ's video game - Spyro, Phil realises - but PJ breaks it in a mild sort of tone. "I get that. Like, I really do get it. You might not think I get it, but I get it. Thing is... I've been somewhere like this. Because I met Soph after I was already living as a guy, right, but I thought she was totally straight at the time. She thought so too, actually, but I know she's felt a lot more connected to the community for a while now. And I didn't know... how to tell her. Because what if she totally freaked? That's not exactly a low risk, y'know."

Phil is far from an expert, but he does know that much. He's well aware of some of the numbers out there, knows that it can end in more than just hurt feelings when trans people come out to their partners, but he'd never once considered that PJ dealt with that. He feels a bit stupid for it. Sophie - and Chris, he supposes, even if he doesn't particularly know the intricacies there - isn't PJ's first foray into dating. Yeah, they've been together as long as Phil has known him, but that's not an excuse.

"Sorry," says Phil, hoping it sounds as sincere as he feels. "That, um. That sounds like it sucks."

"Oh, it totally sucks," PJ laughs. "And that's why I can say that you're freaking out for no reason. I mean, your own shit, whatever, you can run yourself in circles for months if you really want to, but the Dan thing? It's unfair not to tell them how you feel, Phil. They've been out for a little while now, they know how this works as well as I do. Sometimes there are compromises."

"I don't want anyone to compromise an identity," says Phil. He can't explain why that makes him so on edge. It would take too long, and he knows that his friends are various degrees of fluid when it comes to their attractions, so there's no guarantee of them understanding at all. It's not that he's being stubborn or close-minded or anything; it's that he's gay. "Peej, I'm a Kinsey fucking six. Telling Dan I have feelings for them is opening a bucket of worms that I don't know if I could close again."

"A can."

"What?" Phil asks, thrown.

"A can of worms, you fucking buffoon."

"Why would worms be in a can?"

"The - you know what, Phil? I can't have a conversation like this with you right now." PJ is doing his best attempt at a serious voice, but Phil can hear him trying not to laugh. "Tell Dan you like them. They like you."

Phil sighs. "I know. That's part of the issue here."

"I don't see an issue," says PJ. "You like them, they like you. Go... like each other."

"It's not that simple."

"It's never really that simple," PJ says, giving in to the laughter. Phil smiles at the unrestrained sound. "You think what I've got going on right now was simple in the beginning?"

"I don't like to put much thought into what you've 'got going on right now'," Phil admits. "But... no. You just make it look easy."

PJ cracks up properly. Phil can't help grinning, too, because PJ's Muppet laugh is always a bonus to saying something ridiculous. PJ waits until he's got his breath back before he says, "Phil. You're kind of a moron."

"I accept that," says Phil. "And before you get your lecturing pants on again, I know that it would be best to talk to Dan about this. I'm just..."

"Scared?"

Phil wants to deny it. He almost does, knee-jerk, but the problem is that PJ knows him too damn well for that. He knows that Phil worries about everything to the point that he's got medication to help with the anxiety spirals, and he also knows that Phil isn't exactly jumping to think or talk about his feelings at any given moment. It's normally a bit like pulling teeth, both for Phil and for the person trying to connect with him.

But PJ knows him. So he says, "Yeah. More scared of that than of the house."

--

The lighting isn't as good as Phil has in his room, back in Brighton, but he brings all the lamps he can find into his childhood bedroom to make sure he's decently visible on the viewfinder. He doesn't do a lot of talking to the camera without any external stimulus - the only times he's sitting still and addressing the audience directly is when he's doing the wrap-ups at the end of each video. Sometimes he does an intro as well, but it's usually able to be replaced with some good B footage and voiceover. Phil fixes his hair for the millionth time and takes a deep breath before he presses the record button.

He tells his audience what happened, the night that's been lost. He explains everything, every vibe that felt wrong and every terrifying moment in the attic, every file that he can no longer access. Even as he's saying it, he can imagine what the comment section is going to look like.

"I won't blame the lot of you if you don't believe me. I'll put what it looked like when we tried to access the files on the screen now. The corruption was on our devices, though, and we couldn't retrieve anything."

Another deep breath. They're still not going to believe him.

"And that's okay," he adds. "I'm not here for you guys to take my words as, like, facts or whatever, and it's not my job to convince anybody. I'm just here to tell a good story. I wish it had a more conclusive ending, but I'm sure you're already bickering in the comments about what we all experienced, or if you think we experienced anything at all. So tell me what you guys think, and let me know - do you think I should keep imposing on my parents to investigate this some more or is the Wilkins place a story to leave alone?"

He'd normally start to do his like-and-subscribe routine after that, but he pauses.

"And I wanted to say a really big thank you to everyone who helped me with this project, but especially to Winnie. They really went above and beyond in sending me this one, and I'm not going to forget that."

Phil gives the camera an awkward sort of smile. He might not leave that bit in, but he needed to say it.

[redxriiot]

Sexual Traits

Tagged by: @brightemeraldazuredepths​

Tagging: If you want it? TAKE IT

bold - applies always.

italic - applies sometimes.

Striked = personal notes, can be removed (anything in ‘extra’ can be removed, too)

inclinations/habits:

is submissive | is dominant | prefers to top | prefers to bottom | likes to switch | identifies as heterosexual | identifies as homosexual | identifies as bisexual | identifies as pansexual | identifies as demisexual | identifies as asexual | enjoys sex with men | enjoys sex with women | enjoys sex with multiple people at one time  | initiates (when he’s most comfortable/ more confident) | waits for a partner to initiate (at the start of a relationship) | spits | swallows | prefers sex in the morning | prefers sex at night | prefers sex any time | no sex drive | low sex drive | average sex drive | high sex drive | hypersexual

Extra - He doesn’t have a specific label for his orientation nor does he actually want one. He does have more of an inclination to being the bottom, but he will nonetheless tend to defer to his partner’s preferences for the most part, and watch how they react to it. If they want him to top, he’ll top. If they want him to bottom, that’s what he’ll do. When it comes to initiating, he’ll tend to let his partner take to it more at first because he’ll be trying so hard to hold back his own desires, not wanting to push himself onto them. So he’ll just make himself as tempting as possible and tease them to bait them into it, or otherwise see if they’re up for sex if at all. He’ll take to initiating more frequently when he’s much more sure they want him as much as he does and/or they tell him it’s okay to. And I mean frequently. He’ll be far more tactile and playful after that, even take more risks and stir his partner up all the more. He’ll dial himself back when told to though and strive figure out what situations are the type his partner will be more open to after that.

body/appearance:

small build | medium build | athletic build | muscular build | curvy build | voluptuous build | wears boxerbriefs | wears lingerie | goes ‘commando’ | shaves/waxes (would if his partner prefers he do) | doesn’t shave/wax | cup size a-c | cup size d-f | 1-5" in length | 6-9" in length | 10" or over in length

Extra - It’s not immediately noticeable, but just under his Adonis belt on the left side, there are four little puncture marks. When he jerks off, he tends to dig the fingers on his right hand in right there because it actually helps him finish faster and feel more relief afterward ( really, it’s the little burst of pain that does it ). He does this other places too, but right there is the most common place so it’s sort of marked in. 

turn-ons/kinks:

having their hands pinned | pinning their partner’s hands | having their ears pulled | pulling their partner’s ears | being watched (by their partner) | being watched (by a third party) | watching their partner | receiving oral | giving oral | calling their partner ‘daddy’ | being called ‘daddy’ (won’t ever actually tell his partner this. it would only ever come up if THEY bring it up, whether calling him on accident or mentioning they’re into it) /’mummy’ | giving praise | receiving praise | biting/marking | being bitten/marked | spanking | being spanked | teasing | being teased | having toys used on them | using toys on their partner | giving anal | receiving anal | choking | being choked | dirty talk | being tied up | tying their partner up | being worshipped | worshipping their partner | humiliating | being humiliated | degrading | being degraded | knife play | blood play | being pegged | pegging

Extra - He loves putting on a show/putting himself on display for his partner/another in general, more so being the one to please them. Most notably, he loves pain. Dealing it, out but especially being on the receiving end of it, it’s one of his biggest turn ons. He also really likes the idea using Quirks during sex. He might be tentative to use his own at first, but once he’s given the go-ahead ( especially if his partner loves pain/being marked too ) he will be quite eager, especially since chances are it could tie into his love of pain. Overall, sex that really ups his adrenaline levels in some way is the best in his eyes. Without pain and/or adrenaline involved somehow, there’s a possibility he’ll be less inclined to initiate or seek that person for sex as much. Or otherwise get creative about it, like how he does when he masturbates.

sounds:

is silent/makes little to no sounds | is very quiet | is very loud | grows in volume over time | bites hand/partner/pillow to muffle themselves | calls out partner’s name | curses | fakes/exaggerates | prefers a quiet partner | prefers a loud partner | is turned on by dirty talk | is turned off by dirty talk

Extra - He tends to muffle up his voice a lot, unless he wants to get caught by somebody ( like when he’s jerking off while his partner’s nearby ). When he’s topping, he'll try to keep quiet because he wants to hear his partner more; when he’s the bottom, it’s because he wants to hear his partner plead for him to get louder, encourage him to, because he knows there’s a chance he’ll get praise out of it if he does. That’s his biggest motivation to get loud.

[blackberry-bloody]

Ok, so I know this is incredibly random... But I want to talk about my favorite whump fanfic (it's of the jse egos.) But specifically the basic concept because it just is super interesting to me. Don't know if it would be to anyone else... But I want to talk about it anyway!

WARNINGS: Gun mention, attempted murder, mind control, physical abuse, experiment mention (magic and medical), possibly sympathy for Whumper? But after turned Whumpee?

Let me know if I need to tag anything else.

(also, no I unfortunately I can't provide links because the author deleted it. But was kind enough to send me the link to the Google doc as a view only.)

Ok so basic concept. Yes it's of the egos. But I'm focusing on ideas and why I love it so much.

Cast:

Big bad Evil Guy:

He's just... Not good. Sadistic and loves to hurt and mess with people. Is "in control" and wants to assert that control over others. Basically your typical Whumper. Has whumped at least one member of the team. Wants to do more...

Hero:

Basically your average DC/Marvel superhero. Wants Justice. Is appalled by BigBad and what he's done to people that Hero cares about. Has sworn to bring BB down. Is friends with/lives with rest of team.

Medic:

Is former Whumpee of BB. He's almost always the voice of reason. And he's basically the team medic.

Magic User:

Pretty uh... Self explanatory. Also is pissed at BB and will stop at nothing to bring him down.

Secondary, but quieter voice of reason:

He's very friendly. Was whumped by BB. Loves and supports team, will do anything to protect them. But he kinda just keeps to the background and doesn't speak up about things. Especially concerning his bad feelings about his friends (think, "love is blind to all flaws" type deal).

The Goofball (that totally isn't depressed):

May or may not have been directly whumped by BB. But has definitely been screwed over. Uses humor and self destructive habits as coping mechanisms for his problems...

Plot/what I found really interesting:

Now you'll probably noticed that I didn't label anyone as specifically Whumper/Whumpee. I said people had been whumped, and who they were whumped by. There is in fact a reason for this...

So when the fic starts, BB is ambushing/attacking the team in their base. And it seems like he's winning. Wreaking absolute havoc. But! He goes to attack Magic User... And Magic User accidentally fires off a random/powerful spell. Of which he doesn't know... And BB goes /down/. Knocked out... And for the time being really mentally gone...

When he comes to the team is wondering why he isn't attacking any of them... But eventually they figure out that he's been put under some sort of mind control. So Magic User and team set up some ground rules, take him down to the basement and trap him behind a barrier so that when MU reverses the spell (since of course they will. They aren't evil like he is.)

However... The spell... Doesn't reverse. So things get super interesting.

The "good" team. Where they're mostly made up of whumpees? Slowly start to abuse the mind controlled BB. Who is deteriorating over the next several weeks of captivity. Of course MU is still trying to reverse it, buuuuuuut it couldn't hurt to run some tests on these spells and see how BB reacts would it? Medic began running medical experiments around (nonhuman) BB. It's not like he's complaining, right? Goofball starts humiliating BB by shooting him with darts, or hitting him with various balls/toys (before later trying to actually shoot BB with a real gun in a drunken rage... But I'm getting ahead) because hey, it's funny/ not hurting him. Hero starts getting more physically violent with "interrogation" when leads drop cold and things don't work out. And VoR 2.0 justifies it all as ok since BB was in fact a monster.

So now... Whumper has turned Whumpee, and multiple Whumpees have turned Whumper. But wait... There's more.

So later on the team winds up spiraling and getting angrier and angrier. And Goofball actually tried to kill BB. But was stopped just in time. And over the next few days, they try and gain back a sense of normalcy. However, something comes up and they bring BB upstairs so that they can all keep an eye on him, while sticking together.

Something happens to cause BB Whumpee to /break/. And his blank/robotic "programming" snaps. He stars screaming for "no more".

MU put him to sleep and he starts to break down too... Revealing that he had figured out how to reverse it a while ago, but hadn't. And they decide to finally do it now. That they could at least try to redeem themselves, right?

So MU reverses spell. But... The spell and abuse from the past several weeks now has definitely left BB scarred. And even though he's "free" of the spell itself. He's still been trained into that mindset. Soooooooo...

Team makes the decision to try and get him... Not "normal" for him... But perhaps at least not terrified/conditioned.

So team has now gone from Whumpees to Whumpers. Since they wanted to get back at BB... But have now taken on the challenge of Caretakers as well... Trying to help not only the person who hurt them, but that they hurt in return. And uh... Spoilers... It ain't easy.

In conclusion:

I know that this is super long. But I just wanted to get it out of my system. It's one of my absolute all time favorite reads. And I just love the concept. Where the Whumper is turned Whumpee by his old Whumpees. Who then decide to "fix the problem" and become caretakers. It's just... So good. I cry so hard every time. (And the first time I read it, I happened to stumble upon it... And uh... Didn't move much for the next four hours as I read the whole thing in one sitting...)

Whelp... I guess that's it?

[just-an-anxious-mess]

Rejection (Part 3)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4

Logans eyelids fluttered open and he realised he was laying on someones lap.

He sat up, ignoring the person asking how he was. He thought it was a stupid question if they knew what had happened. Of course he wasn't OK.

Unless they too thought him emotionally stunted?

His chest ached painfully as once again Romans harsh words echoed in his mind.

He was just an annoyance. A boring annoyance with an inability to feel emotions properly.

He put his head in his hands, his hands tightening into fists in his hair. He did still feel things but the pain was almost unbearable and for once he wished he couldn't feel at all.

It would solve so many issues if he could just turn the stupid feelings off.

Logan jumped as someone rested their hand on his shoulder and he met the eyes of Virgil.

"Logan, everything Roman said is wrong. You're not boring or emotionally stunted or an annoyance." he said and Logan stared at him in disbelief.

"Virgils right, you're intelligent and interesting and we're lucky to have you." A voice from slightly behind him said and he turned and realised the person who's lap he'd been laying in was Patton.

Logan didn't know how to respond to either of them and he probably would have just lapsed into an awkward silence if he didn't spot Deceit.

Seeing Deceit made Logan look around, taking in his surroundings and coming to the conclusion he was in the other mindspace.

If Logan was in the other mindspace then that meant there was a certain trait who might be able to help him.

"D... Deceit." Logan managed to croak out, making everyone wince sympathetically. "I want to talk to someone."

Deceit smirked and replied "But you already are talking to someone."

"Deceit, now is not the time for joking around and messing with him." Patton scolded, making Deceit sigh and adopt a more serious expression.

"Who did you want to talk to and why?"

"I... I want to talk to Apathy. I don't want to h...h...hurt like this anym...anymore." Logans voice shook as fresh tears fell down his face.

Patton looked slightly confused while Virgil and Deceit exchanged concerned looks.

"Logan, are you sure?" Deceit asked and Logan nodded adamantly.

"I.... I'll go fetch him then." Deceit shook his head as he walked off into the darkness and Virgil sat down next to Patton and Logan, trying to push away the worry and slight fear he felt from being back in the 'dark' mindspace again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Deceit walked through the dark corridors until he reached a specific door. Before he could knock the door opened and a figure appeared, rage all over his face.

"What are you looking at Deceit? Come to get all buddy buddy with Apathy? Well he's all yours! Both of you can go to fucking hell!" growled the trait who shoved past Deceit and stormed off down the corridor.

Deceit looked back into the room and saw Apathy shaking his head.

"What just happened? Did you take away his lighter again or something?" Deceit asked.

"No he's just.... Him. He assumed things that were completely incorrect and obviously didn't like that he was wrong. He truly lives up to his name of Irrationality." Apathy said in his usual blank, emotionless voice.

"You can say that again, I still haven't forgotten when he set his room on fire because he thought it'd look pretty. Although I'm pretty sure it might have been because he saw a spider but either way that was difficult to clean up." Deceit said, staring down the corridor in the direction the crazy trait had gone.

"Enough mindless chatter, what did you require from me? You hardly do social calls anymore since you're usually bothering the main traits these days."

Deceit sighed. "There's been a lot of drama in the main mindspace recently and one of the main traits actually requested to talk to you. He... He was completely screwed over by one of the others and is pretty much emotionally broken and wishes not to feel anything anymore. I don't think it's the right solution but I said I would fetch you so here I am."

Apathy seemed to think deeply about what Deceit had said and then made a decision. "Which trait is it?"

"Logic, it was Creativity that caused everything." Deceit said.

"Logic and Creativity, not two traits that I would predict to interact much for any sort of argument between them to be emotionally damaging to either one." Apathy said as Deceit lead the way to the others.

"Logic loved Creativity but Creativity didn't feel the same. Instead he verbally ripped Logic apart and Logic ran until he ended up here." Deceit explained.

Apathy stopped with a small frown. "Creativity ripped him apart verbally? From what I know of that Disney Prince wannabe it seems more likely he'd attack physically in that sort of situation, anything from a small shove to full on throwing Logic into a wall or something. Plus I would have thought he'd be flattered someone saw him in that light, he's the most likely out of all the traits to randomly kiss another trait just because he thought they were his reflection or something."

Deceit let out a snort of laughter at Apathys last comment. "Well it'd be difficult for him to mistake someone for his reflection now, Pat... I mean Morality punched him in the face and broke his nose."

Apathy looked at Deceit with slightly narrowed eyes for a second before starting to walk again, making Deceit shudder.

He needed to be a little more aware of what he said because Apathy hated it when Deceit used the main traits real names. Apparently it made him sound too familiar with them and it got on Apathys nerves.

Three traits sitting on the floor came into view and Apathy took in Logic and Morality, not very surprised. It was when Apathys eyes locked onto the darker trait that the atmosphere changed.

"Virgil. What an unpleasant surprise to see you here, I'm quite sure I remembered you swearing to never return but here you are."

"Fuck off Apathy! I'm here helping Logan and that's it." Virgil growled, getting to his feet.

"wow, look at this brand new attitude. Where did timid little Anxiety go? You're little act might fool everyone else but we both know deep down you're still that scared little trait who cowered everytime someone looked at him funny."

Apathy had stepped forward so him and Virgil were in each others faces.

"That's not who I am anymore." Virgil muttered, glaring right back at Apathy.

"Oh really? What if I said Irrationality was going to turn up?"

Virgils eyes widened in alarm that was difficult to miss. "He... He's not." Virgil stumbled over his words and took a step back.

Apathys lips twitched up into a smug little smirk before he turned to the trait who'd requested his presence.

"Now explain what you wanted."

Logans eyes briefly flickered to Virgil, who was running himself through a breathing exercise and cursing Apathy under his breath, before they locked onto Apathy.

"I don't want to feel like this anymore. I want you to make it all disappear." he said in a hoarse voice, almost too quiet to hear.

"You do realise that if I do this it won't just take the pain and sadness, it'll take any joy or happiness as well. You'll be completely devoid of emotion and even the simplest of things will fail to make you feel. It's also completely irreversible. You're Logic so think it over before making a rash decision." Apathy explained, his voice quieter as he said the last part, in an attempt to come across less harsh.

Patton had got to his feet, his eyes narrowed at Apathy the entire time, unable to prevent himself feeling protective over the others.

"Morality there's no need to glare at me like that, I'm not going to hurt anyone, that's Irrationalitys thing. I'm not sadistic."

"Says who." Virgil mumbled with a glare, making Deceit face palm.

"Virgil, please don't bring that up again, you know we had no idea what was going on and when we did find out Apathy sorted things."

Virgil sighed "I'm sorry Dee, it's just that a certain someone decided to bring it up first to try and humiliate me."

"I didn't bring it up to humiliate you, I brought it up to prove a point. No matter how much you try to pretend you're strong, you can't change who you really are. No one can force themselves to change so drastically." Apathy stated.

Virgil could feel the curious gazes of Patton and Logan on him so he quickly changed the subject before they asked what they were talking about.

"Moral... Whoops... Patton punched Roman in the nose." Virgil said, shaking his head as he stumbled over his words.

Apathy raised an eyebrow in amusement. "So I heard, well done Morality I think that's something everyone's been tempted to do at least once but you're the first to actually do it."

"He hurt Logan, I lost my temper and that's all there is to it" Patton said, his eyes still narrowed at Apathy.

"plus he can be a bit of an arrogant pri....nce. Yep that's definitely what I was going to say. Arrogant prince." Deceit said, avoiding Pattons stern look.

Suddenly Logan, Patton and Virgil let out matching gasps of shock as they felt a rather desperate summons from Thomas.

"Logan are you capable of coming with us? It seems urgent." Virgil asked and Logan nodded reluctantly.

"I... I'll give it a go." he muttered and the three of them vanished leaving Apathy and Deceit alone in the dark mindspace.

General tag list:@amethystdarkwolf @mcfreakin-childproof-caps @patchworkofstars @kitkat-doodles @unikornavenger @dolphin-squirrel @sympathetic-deceit-trash @starryfirefliesbloggo @cakercanart @neonb-fly @kaymischief25 @punsterterry @aprilthevene @theoddkidnextdoor @fuckingemoace @i-sold-my-soul-to-thefandom @im-so-infinitesimal @sea-blue-child @thecatchat @iris-sanders-athena @saphael-malec102 @smedenn @corkeecoderyt @sopi-montezzz @illogicaldeath @deadpanstar @theanxiousfander @lesliealiceinwonderland @wicked-universe @anxious-is-the-name @a-black-pegasus @erlenmeyertrashofsandersides @ace-the-weekly-doodler @luarpice @novusavis @the-life-ofa-troubled-ace @heck-im-lost @nerdy-as-heck @pansexual-cat @ravens-rambling @echomist13 @myownhappilyeverafter @im-a-sexy-mouse @xx-fandom-potato-xx

Rejection tag list:

@ibelievewhatsontv @anxiouslogan24

[ahouseoflies]

The Best Films of 2018, Part I

I’ll associate my moviegoing this year with two things: subscription models and superhero films. Realizing that I was the target audience, I signed up for Moviepass in March, then canceled just before they started extorting people in July. (I’ll remember you all semi-fondly, conniving alarmists in the Moviepass Reddit thread.) Thanks to Moviepass, I took full advantage of my free time over the summer, and I found some nice surprises that I wouldn’t have checked out otherwise. From there I joined AMC A-List, which is the rare corporate service that I cannot complain about in any way. Moviepass always felt like some kind of drug deal, whereas A-List is as easy and inviting an experience as possible. I get to seek out Dolby, IMAX, or 3-D showings instead of getting locked out of them, and the electronic ticketing helps with my last-minute availability. (I’ve mastered the art of lovingly putting my daughter to bed, only to desert her and my wife five minutes later. “You know, there’s an 8:10 showing of The Predator, which means 8:30 after previews...”) My overall viewing was up 11% this year, which I have to attribute to these subscriptions. Perhaps I saw too much though. After a self-righteous five-year ban on superhero movies, I caught up in 2019 like the madman completist that I am. On the plus side, I enjoyed Wonder Woman and Guardians of the Galaxy, and I vaguely feel more connected with the culture-at-large. But I could have been more selective. The diligence required to watch X-Men: Apocalypse late on a Thursday night took away from, say, my Orson Welles project or...reading books. To get some of the business out of the way, I haven’t seen Burning, Shoplifters, Destroyer, Cold War, The Sisters Brothers, Tomb Raider, The Wife, or The House That Jack Built. Not all of us get screeners or care about seeing The Wife.  Mostly for argument purposes, I list everything I saw and divide the movies into the categories of Garbage, Admirable Failures, Endearing Curiosities with Big Flaws, Pretty Good Movies, Good Movies, Great Movies, and Instant Classics. Hey, speaking of superheroes:  GARBAGE

123. Venom (Ruben Fleischer)- Venom was first announced as an R-rated film until it was neutered into PG-13 at some point in the development road. That was the right choice because this is a movie, in all of its broad, careless storytelling, for children. "So he's going to get married to her but then he looks at her email and then he interviews the guy and he gets fired so then she leaves him and he drinks now?" This is a dummy's version of what a journalist is or what a scientist is, and it never shades into more subtlety than exactly what is on the expected surface. I guess that Tom Hardy gets to jump into a lobster tank if that floats your boat, but the story is stuck on fast-forward for the whole movie, never relenting to develop character or do anything other than communicate information that we don't really need.

Venom is almost--almost--interesting as a new branch in the superhero economy. Why shouldn't Tom Hardy and National Treasure Michelle Williams trade the equity they've built for caring about their work into this trash? I don't begrudge them that for a second. I hope they make more money for the sloppy sequels. 122. The Equalizer 2 (Antoine Fuqua)- The first Equalizer was flat and pointlessly long with pedantic dialogue too, but at least it had the Home Depot sequence. This one makes very basic stuff incoherent and dawdles all the way to the end. Your boy is now an expert hacker too? I guess it's too late for Fuqua to start caring about scripts.

121. Mandy (Panos Cosmatos)- I need somebody to explain to me why, dramatically, this is good without something like, "It's so metal! What a midnight movie! Chainsaw fight lol!" If you want to talk about the visuals that are stylized within an inch of reality, then I'll listen. But there's nothing to hold onto dramatically. I think I've developed an overall irritation with revenge films, but this filthy dirge of a movie felt empty and endless by any standard. 120. Fifty Shades Freed (James Foley)- Its intentions are too guileless to upset me, but Fifty Shades Freed uses up the goodwill I sort of had for the first two by tugging the viewer relentlessly through conflict that always seems temporary. Part of the fun has always been how bizarre basic human interactions seem in this universe. (Has anyone ever returned from a vacation to be surprise-promoted?) But this entry expects way too much from its viewer's loyalty. 119. On Chesil Beach (Dominic Cooke)- There's supposed to be a disconnect to the behavior of the couple in On Chesil Beach, a movie that asks us to harken back to a time when newlyweds were so sexually innocent that they had trouble figuring out how to consummate a marriage. Their fumbling seems foreign to us, which is the point. But what's the excuse for none of the behavior in the movie ringing true to any human experience?

I'm talking about Florence refusing to tell her string quartet that she's engaged because she thinks they'll assume that her marriage will break up the group even though she's sure that it won't. I'm talking about her father, who feels the need to humiliate his son-in-law in tennis because that would prove that he's dominant over the boy in some way that being his employer does not already prove. I'm talking about a plot that literally would not exist if the characters had just engaged in one conversation that it seems like they would have had in the flashbacks, which frame them as a kind of open, reasonably affectionate, easy-going couple. But by all means, McEwan, change that whenever it suits you. 118. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (J.A. Bayona)- I reject the whole premise of this deliberate lowering of stakes that never rises above obligation. To paraphrase a Griffin Newman joke, it makes Jurassic Park 4 look like Jurassic Park 1.

While we're here though: Can I have a movie about the guy who compiled the guest list for the dino auction? I want to see a guy looking at a spreadsheet--or is it an Access file?--and getting to, like, Mark Cuban and weighing the options: "He probably has the $27 million to spare on weaponized recombinant DNA. He would definitely appreciate the wow factor of having his own Indoraptor. But is he more of a neutral evil or a chaotic evil? I guess I'll reserve a seat for him and send the invitation. If he says no, then he says no. Okay, we're still in the C's..."

117. Tag (Jeff Tomsic)- Tag is going to show up on a lot of "worst movies to ever win an Oscar" lists when Jeremy Renner wins an Oscar for it. 116. A-X-L (Oliver Daly)- This is a melodramatic movie about a weaponized robotic dog and the dirtbike kid who befriends it. Nothing wrong with that; a ten-year-old boy might like it, and there aren't enough movies specifically for that audience. But what's weird is how nonchalant the main character is about the whole thing. He immediately starts training this one-of-a-kind "war dog" android and imprints it with his DNA like this is a regular Tuesday. It's one of many things that is just kind of off in this picture.

This being a cheap genre film, you do get treated to those L.A. locations that have been around the block. I think the nondescript complex that houses Craine Industries is also the one from Sneakers and The Lawnmower Man. You know, Craine Industries, the company that is working on a $70 million prototype for the military but, because this is a cheap genre film, seems to have two employees.

I do think there's an interesting movie to be made about motocross. The movie kind of works when it's just about an underdog father and son fixing bikes, before it gets into all of the robot stuff. ADMIRABLE FAILURES

115. The Little Stranger (Lenny Abrahamson)- Dr. Faraday: "Wanna marry me?" Caroline: "Maybe. Do you actually love me?" Dr. Faraday: "Probably not." Caroline: "Hmm, I think I would marry you only as an excuse to go to London to get away from my dying mother and this crumbling house that probably has a ghost." Dr. Faraday: "Oh. Well, glad we're discussing it now because I want to marry you specifically to give me a reason to stay in this crumbling house that probably has a ghost. I'm drawn to it for some reason." Caroline: "Is it because you grew up poor?" Dr. Faraday: "Yes. All dry, cold British stuff ultimately comes down to that.

114. Damsel (David Zellner and Nathan Zellner)- Had I done my research, I wouldn't have watched this Zellner Brothers follow-up to Kumiko the Treasure Hunter, one of my least favorite films of that year. Like that movie, Damsel is a story of two halves, punctuated by a shocking moment that happens halfway through. Unfortunately nothing interesting happens before, and nothing interesting happens after. 113. Suspiria (Luca Guadignino)- This is a movie about duality that gets extended. English, German, and just a sprinkle of French. Six parts and an epilogue. A dual role (and a bit part). Personalities that clash until one pulls ahead. There are ideas here. But, especially considering I don't like the original Suspiria, I didn't find much to hold onto as a visceral experience. It's a long, foreboding sit. Guadagnino knows how to end his movies, but he still doesn't have much to say for the long middle parts. Shout-out to Amazon; I hope that, in some circuitous way, betting on maximalist Italians helps them to sell paper towels or whatever.

112. Early Man (Nick Park)- I still love the Aardman aesthetic, but this material was thin. It's too juvenile for adults and too adult for juveniles. 111. Beirut (Brad Anderson)- The screenplay takes an hour to set up what should have taken twenty minutes. Some of that time is dedicated to developing Hamm's burnt-out alcoholic wheeler-dealer, but he's a character we've seen a hundred times before anyway. Some shorthand would have done some good. Once the plot gets going, it's serviceable, but I was bored by that point. Pike and Hamm need to fire their managers. 110. Upgrade (Leigh Whannell)- I'll admit that I owed the film more attention than I gave it since I was nodding off the whole time, but nothing in the gloomy programmer interested me enough to want to go back.

109. Red Sparrow (Francis Lawrence)- Good as a steamy blank check provocation from the director and star--not much else. I'm sure people will take down the easy target of Jen Larry's Russian accent, but they're ignoring just how much she tries in something like this. She is a gargantuan Movie Star who commands the screen, and a lot of that presence comes from the commitment of, say, learning how to ballet dance for what must have been months. She hasn't slept through a performance yet.

I didn't think this endless movie made much sense, especially near its conclusion. Perhaps it's my personal distaste for the way that spy movies introduce major plot points without so much as a music sting to guide you. As soon as anyone says the term "double agent," my brain turns off.

108. Hot Summer Nights (Elijah Bynum)- If you want to direct a music video, just direct a music video. I like all of the actors in this, but the filmmaker has nothing to say. 107. The First Purge (Gerard McMurray)- Even James DeMonaco seems to be admitting that the bloom is off the rose a bit, since he only wrote this entry in the franchise--and his direction is missed in the action scenes. Just enough of the political subtext remains, (The New Founding Fathers get funding from the NRA, and a character uses "pussy-grabbing" as an insult. Thankfully, a Black church getting shot up by men with Iron Cross flags happens off-screen.)

But there are more characters I didn't care about than characters I did care about. Since its prequel setting doesn't reveal much about the world that we didn't already know, the film needed to do a bit more with the survive-the-night scenario that we already saw in the second film.

106. Vox Lux (Brady Corbet)- A movie that, up to and including the last minute, keeps promising something better than it actually is. Everyone here is making...choices… 105. Madeline’s Madeline (Josephine Decker)- I'm glad David Ehrlich liked this as much as he did. There are some intriguing ideas, most notably the suggestion that a mentally unstable person would be better suited for acting than a healthy person. What a debut for Helena Howard as well. But for it to add up to something by the end, I think I needed it to have more dramatic structure--the sort of fall of the Molly Parker character feels invented and insincere--or go all the way into experiment. 104. Shirkers (Sandi Tan)- One of those "you won't believe what happens next" documentaries that positions itself as an example of truth being stranger than fiction. But removed from a festival context, does it ever rise above its logline? Is it really even that odd?

[larissaloki]

Yes you are

Below I pretty much pure smut. This takes after civil war ish but before ragnork and infinity wars. Alternative in a way in that Loki never went back to Asgard after Dark world.

Warnings: non-con/dub-con dark themes

Paring: Titeniron

Characters: Tony Stark, Thanos, Loki

@april-the-fan-girl @makeyamad this is for you two that wanted to be tagged! I’m not happy with how its turned out but let me know what you think. First time doing smut outside of an rp!

————-

Tony whined into the spider gag, panting through the mind-numbing pleasure tinged with pain that was being inflicted upon him. The bed he lay on was covered in soft fur covers that stilled smelt like woodland and that weird animal smell. Right then his brain couldn’t function enough to pinpoint the specific animal if he tried, not even if a gun was held to his head.

Laid on his stomach, head to the side to be able to breathe through his nose as drool pooled under his cheek soaking the furs beneath. Arms tied behind his back securely o that each hand was holding the opposite arms elbow, he couldn’t move apart from small wiggles of his shoulders. His legs were pulled apart to the point his muscles burnt and were secured by a bar to stop him from closing his legs to soon.

Not to long ago he had stood proud, fully clothed as well. Loki had materialised in his home out in the wilderness that Tony had recently brought. A means to get away from the city after the entire Civil War fiasco. The place had minimal security features as it was that new. In fact Tony was just getting started on wiring in Jarvis when the rock of ages had turned up. Schooling his features Tony had simply stood to face the intruder. His mind firing at speed to find a way out of this situation should it go south. Honestly, the one time he leaves his suit behind!

“What can I do for you reindeer games? Figured you were dead, or at least that was what Thor told us” Making his way to the semi stocked bar, Tony put as much distance between them. It would hopefully buy him time should he need to make a break for it.

Chuckling somewhat in a bemused way, Loki takes a seat on a lavish sofa that was recently delivered that very morning. Spreading his arms along the back of the sofa he turns his attention to Tony, his lips twisted into a wicked smirk.

“Thor is easy to fool. Child’s play truly.”

“Uh huh…so what do you want rock of ages? A drink? Because that I can do, pick your poison and I’ll pour it.” Slowly Tony edged along the bar heading slowly to the other end. Just further along the wall is a secret passageway that leads to the outside. One of the few reasons he chose this place. Its old and rustic so that no one would suspect futuristic Stark would pick this place. Old enough to have secret passageways thankfully.

“Actually, I came to pick up a package for my superior. You see he was quite impressed with you during the last battle”

Confused, Tony narrows his eyes trying to make sense of that. Last battle? The last battle that had Loki in was…the Chitauri. But Thor had explained that Loki wasn’t in control of himself, that Loki was being directed by another through the sceptre.

Hell, after the Hulk had swung him around his eyes, had changed to green, which Thor had said was Loki’s original eye colour. Not the Blue he had upon first meeting the chaotic sibling.

A trickle of dread went down his spine as Tony took a sip, watching the seemingly relaxed Asgardian. Leaning forward a bit onto the counter Tony paid attention fully and looked at Loki’s eye.

They were blue. Shit.

Feeling sweat pool at the base of his spine and on his temples, Tony leaned back trying to keep himself calm. However, the smirk that twisted to something more dangerous told him it was pointless. Loki knew that Tony was smart, that he would be able to put it together. Now it was a game.

A game to see if Tony could escape. A hunting game.

“Sorry buddy, don’t have any packages here for you. Maybe it got sent to the tower address?” Tony kept his tone light as he moved to the other end of the bar and leaned his hip against it. He needed to take this slowly. Not make it obvious.

Grinning Loki stood up fluidly and with grace that should have been near impossible. “Oh it’s here” he suddenly blinked out of existence and confused Tony took a step back, eyes darting around the room. His back hit a flesh wall and a sharp pain flared from his head as he fell to the floor unconscious.

Not long later he woke to the position he is in now, fingers steadily pumping inside of him, stretching out his hole. His body burning and feeling heavy. No doubt drugs of some sort to keep him compliant. Fire seems to shoot his veins as he moans softly. He had caught the sight of Loki earlier and knew it was him stretching Tony. What confused Tony was that the god was completely dressed and seemed almost bored.

One finger changed to two to three then four. Lube was thankfully practically poured on by the bottle to help with the slid. What humiliated Tony was that he couldn’t help but want more but he couldn’t move to give himself more. His leaking cock trapped under him buried in the furs, aching with the need to come but needing more stimulation.

Lost in his inner pleads for more as he’s unable to talk, Tony nearly missed a door opening and closing behind him and to the right. Just out of his sight. Heavy footfalls seem to take their time to approach the bed. Straining his head as best as he could Tony tries to see who had just came in, he catches a inhumanly tall purple figure stood just to the side of Loki when Tony’s eyes slid shut as his prostate was jabbed. With a loud moan Tony pants more heavily as stars appear in his vision.

“Look’s like I won’t have to punish you again Loki, you brought him just as I ordered.” The new voice was rough, deep and seems to resonate a certain amount of terror. Thankfully whatever was running through him kept any terror at bay. If anything it sent a pleasant shiver up Tony’s back making him shudder.

“Of course sir. I have started the prep for you as well.” Loki’s cool tone held an alarmingly little passion. So vastly different from earlier and the last time Tony had met him. “My magic should hold for a while longer to keep him complaint as well my lord”

“Excellent, go now”

The fur bed moved a bit as Loki pulled away from Tony’s gaping hole making him whine and wiggle, trying to chase the fingers, and Loki got off the bed entirely. The door soon opening and closing again leaving the room silent apart from Tony’s ragged breathing.

A large hand settled on Tony’s rump making him jump at the sudden contact. The hand seemed gentle for now as the bed dipped a lot under the new comers weight.

“I’ve waited so long for this moment. To see the one that did the finishing blow on my army. I had thought that someone capable of that must be a worthy warrior to keep by my side. So I sent a few creatures to watch you Tony. My merchant of death” a dark laugh ruffled Tony’s hair as two thick fingers pushed in without warning.

Back bowing as much as Tony could in his position, a cry being ripped from him as the unyielding fingers move, hard and fast. Almost impatiently.

“The intel I received made me think, they don’t appreciate you on that pathetic planet. After all you’ve done and they still were not satisfied. Your teammates even left you for dead. And what a waste that would have been.” Whining louder Tony tried to squirm as the fingers pulled at his rim. Making open up wider than he’s ever been. It felt uncomfortable and his legs shook from it.

“So I decided I wanted you, right here where I could show you how true appreciation Tony. You mind brilliant and have so much potential. I can help you reach that potential Tony” teeth sun into Tony’s shoulder, not breaking the skin but certainly hard enough to leave a wicked bruise later. Crying out, the pain from his neck nearly overshadowing the third finger being added.

Oh god, Tony didn’t know how much more he could take. Each finger felt impossibly thick and the burning in his ass was trying to send red flag at him but..his mind seemed to deem it unimportant. The pain wasn’t important right then. He focused on the pleasurable haze that surrounded him instead.

“That’s right Tony, accept it, accept me. Become mine” the voice of the being above him took a possessive tone. Tony could hear the sound of a bottle opening and a few moments later the fingers were tugged from his stretched hole and something even larger pressed against him.

Breathe hitching, Tony tried to breath as the large cock (what else could it be?) pushed in steadily. Oh god to much. To much! Tony cried and squirmed the pleasure haze starting to fade a bit. The air seemed to be pushed out of him the more of the cock that was pushed in. Shaking his head, Tony felt tears falling from the feeling of his ass practically being split open to wide that should be possible. Above him he could hear the being grunted out in pleasure as he finally bottoms out. Stilling, they both tried to catch their breathe again.

Teeth grazed Tony’s ear, hot breathe puffed against his face. “From now on the only name you will be calling is mine. Thanos.” The name sends a jolt through Tony who struggles a bit more. That name makes fear sit in his stomach heavily. He’s sure Thor had mentioned about Thanos before. Huffing out amused, Thanos places one of his massive hands on the middle of Tony’s back, over his bound hands.

Sufficiently pinned, Thanos moves slow but hard. Each thrust forcing Tony up the bed but the hand on his back pulling him back each time into the next thrust. Each thrust seemed to punch a cry out of Tony’s already burning throat. The spider gag making it impossible to breath properly.

Thanos slowly speeds up as the pain eventually gives way to pleasure as his cock drags over Tony’s prostate. Tony’s own flagging dick starting to swell again at the sparks of pleasure.

“So beautiful Tony” Thanos’s voice had gone slightly strained from the pleasure of Tony’s tight passage squeezing him each time he pulls back. “My bringer of death, oh I cannot wait to have you rule by my side. We will bring peace and mercy to each world” the word peace and mercy sounded obscene coming from the giant fucking Tony. The same giant that ordered the attack on his home world injuring and killing many.

The gag is released and pulled out from Tony’s mouth as Thanos sets a much more punishing pace now. As if the talks of his plans turned him on. Swallowing as best as he can in between gasps and groans for breath Tony tries to speak passed the overwhelming sensations zipping through his body. He could feel his release coming fast much to his humiliation.

“Nah…n-not yours…never” his words are cut off by a choked moan as a well aimed thrust caused his back to arch. Tony’s mouth falling open in a wordless scream as he came untouched. Above him Thanos moans appreciatively as Tony’s ass clenched down hard, a few more erratic painful thrusts more has Thanos own his stuttering to a stop as a wave of hot liquid fills Tony up. Making his already full body become to full. He could feel his stomach expanding to make room.

“Oh, yes you are”

[tiny-smallest]

an inch at a time

Rating: G Characters: Sammy, Alice, mention of various characters Warnings: none really besides the usual fucked-up shenanigans of a BATIM fic? Ask to tag. Description: Healing is slow, steady work, especially after so much unrelenting trauma. Sammy Lawrence has yet to really grasp that. But there's one person who might be able to reach him...

Also on AO3!

So I uh. Got really inspired by the Sammy twitter takeover thing and wrote Over the Rainbow fluff that I only remembered was super impossible halfway through, because Sammy was not saved in human form. 

(I only just barely remembered in time that Alice was left mute in this au, which ended up working out in my favor, honestly.) 

I hope you enjoy it anyway, @upperstories. Without further ado...

Sammy Lawrence was not a man given to wearing his heart on his sleeve. A stone cold cynic, the man learned early in life to keep one’s cards close to his chest. Feelings were not for talking about, especially when they were tangled and confused 24/7 and he would frankly rather forget the large majority of what those feelings were tied to. But every once in a while, as with most tragedies, the effects were inescapable, and physical reminders forced unpleasant self-reflection.

He was, at least, a little handsome– the horrors that plagued his life and stole so many years from him, so much of himself, had not been much kinder to his memories, but he remembered that bit, at least. He vaguely remembered feeling at ease with his appearance, and that he worked diligently to be presentable. He remembered he had long-ish hair, at least considering the times, and that he kept it in a little ponytail. He could not remember the color. Was it blonde or brown? It wasn’t a question worth considering when Henry led him and the toons into the light again, because all that mattered in that moment was the light– the air, the breeze, the colors and trees and sky.

But all highs come and go, and the high that came with freedom, of course, did too. Swiftly and without mercy.

Seeing himself in a mirror again thirty years and unspeakable evils later was likely going to go down as one of the most surreal moments of his life. A stranger stared back out at him, one with so many forehead lines, and crow’s feet, and pale, sickly skin. What could barely be qualified as hair was scraggly and gray, the ink having ravaged it to near obliteration. He looked like a late term cancer patient, except the truly disturbing part was barely being able to even recognize the reflection as himself.

Was that even himself?

Who was he, anymore?

Staring at the man in the mirror as if he might move independently, Sammy backed out of the room.

Getting him to use the bathroom after that was a hassle.

Worse still was the decision that what was left of his hair had to go. It took nearly a week and many arguments before Mary could finally get the man to sit in the kitchen, clipping away at his hair while Sammy stared with a dull emptiness at the wall. The notion of going to a barber looking like this was too humiliating and so this was the compromise.

Even after all this time, he still had such little say over what happened to his own being, didn’t he?

He wished that the thought would at least inspire some sort of slow burn inside him. Being angry was much better than this numbness, even if it wasn’t loud or explosive. But things seldom went as Sammy wanted, and this time was of no exception.

An hour later found Sammy in the bathroom, the longest time he’d lingered in there since first catching sight of his reflection, staring at his bald head. Henry and Mary both promised that this was for the better, that this would encourage new hair to grow in, that this was a first step towards recovery. But all he could feel was his insides twisting, crying out that yet again, something had been taken from him.

How was he supposed to feel about this?

A hand tugged on his pants.

“Hello, my dear.” The automatic response fell from his mouth, his subconscious miles ahead of coherent thought and easily recognizing the gesture as something the mute Alice would do to get someone’s attention. Tearing his gaze from the mirror, he glanced over his shoulder and downwards at the little angel, feeling his tense body soften as if a switch had been flipped. “Can I help you?”

Her pretty little face twisted into a look of massive concentration, her hands raising and slowly moving about with the clumsiness of someone unsure if they’re doing something correctly or not. Sammy raised an eyebrow and she repeated the motion, and it was then that he realized she was attempting to use the thing called sign language that she was learning to make up for her lack of a voice.

<You look so sad. Can I help you?>

Dear little thing. Her very soul had been robbed from her when her voice was taken, and yet she was still concerned more about others than herself. His heart swelled a little with love and at the same time, withered with shame. He would never be that selfless, most likely. “No, I’m afraid not.”

<Are you sure? What are you so sad about?> She paused for a moment, frowning in frustration as she attempted to sign the next bit out but halted. Sammy watched, waiting for her to figure it out. <Mary says sometimes talking about the problem makes> Another stop. With a sigh, she produced a pad and paper. Mary says that sometimes talking about the problem makes a solution clear.

He wanted to be angry, but again, found no strength, even in his ocean of salt, to be so. “It’s a cute idea, but it doesn’t work so well in practice.”

Humor me. She tapped the pen against the sentence, a stern little frown puckering up her face.

Sammy blinked in surprise. Well then. It seemed like Alice had some of her bite back.

“It’s private.”

I know. But letting people past walls feels better.

“No, it doesn’t.” The reaction was instinct, like taking a hand away from an accidentally touched hot object.

Yes it does. She was tapping her foot now.

“How would you know?” he snapped, finally finding that ire he’d been trying to tap into and immediately regretting it as she leveled him with a glare that put his to shame.

Because it’s not like I didn’t suffer too, you know, and I see what bottling it up does to people. Bendy doesn’t like to talk any more than you do.

He winced. “… I’m sorry.” Just a few minutes ago he’d admired her selflessness and then he tried to step all over it. Why must he be a jerk at every available opportunity when he wasn’t being a sad, wet blanket?

It wasn’t like he wanted to not enjoy life. It just didn’t feel very possible at times. A lot of the time. The longer the days dragged on, the further away that feeling of light and joy from the first few moments of freedom felt. It was like he’d learned to fly for all of a day and now had cinderblocks on his feet.

I know you’re hurting. I won’t tell anyone anything you tell me. Tell. Hah. She couldn’t speak. There was an ironic joke in there somewhere-

Was… was that a bitter little smile touching the corners of her mouth? She saw it too, and…

His heart twisted. Alice didn’t deserve to feel that kind of poison in her. Bitterness was his weapon for so much of his life, that much he remembered, and he also remembered it leaving him pretty incapable of actually talking to people, shutting them out at most opportunities.

Such was the nature of walls.

That sudden thought gave him pause. Yeah. Such was the nature of walls. Did… he really want to spend the rest of his life, however long that might be, using that defense mechanism as his weapon? Keeping everyone out? He lost thirty years because Joey had a goddamn god complex. How much more time could he afford to lose?

… Did he want to look back, another thirty years from now on his deathbed, all alone, with only himself to blame for it?

“… You promise, don’t you?” It felt like such a childish thing to say, but there was no way he wanted any of this to get back to… anyone else, if he were being honest.

She nodded, her face relaxing into hope so strong it made him ache. Well, there was no backing out now.

“I hate this.” Very specific, Sammy. “I hate how… empty everything feels. I remember that day we finally left the studio and it was so- magical- it was like- like walking on air! And now…”

He gestured furiously to his reflection, scowling at it. “Now this! Look at this! I’m no more in control of anything inside or outside of me now than I was then! The things he did are still there! I remember anytime I look at myself! I hate looking at myself! I’m- old! Empty! I’m-”

Broken. Sad. Afraid.

A sudden weight at his waist nearly knocked the wind out of him and he looked down, raising his arms to find Alice clinging to his midsection. He forgot how much strength the toons could have in those noodle arms depending on their emotions- wait was she crying!?

… Had he said that aloud?

Shit.

Sammy hugged her, feeling panic build rapidly in his chest. Shit shit shit. She’s crying what does he do!?

“I’m sorry I- did I say that out loud? I didn’t mean- I didn’t mean to upset you Alice dear, please don’t- please don’t cry?”

Yeah, this right here was why he was pretty sure he’d never planned on kids.

She nodded into him. Okay, so that answered his earlier question with painful clarity. Shit. Again.

Why couldn’t he be half as eloquent with words as he was with music?

“I’m sorry, little angel. I shouldn’t-” He broke off as she let go of him, scribbling on her writing pad.

No, I’m glad you told me. You needed to get that out.

“What good did it do anyone?” All it did was make Alice upset and make Sammy feel gross for dumping his stupid, upsetting thoughts on a girl already facing her own problems.

Well now that I know what hurts, I have words.

“… All right.” God knew he didn’t have a right to stop her now that they’d both just opened this festering wound. He may as well allow her to continue.

You feel helpless and scared, and you’re frustrated that things don’t feel as good as they did at first when we all got out. You’re afraid it won’t ever feel that good again, and you hate being reminded of all the bad things that happened. Everything hurts all the time and you don’t know when it’ll stop.

Yeah, that was an accurate summary. He swallowed. She tugged on him and he leaned down, stiffening in surprise when she touched his bald head.

After giving it a pat, she went on. But it will. It’ll stop. Things will get better. It’ll be slow, like something growing, but it’ll come.

“Something growing…?”

Think of it like flowers. They don’t bloom in a day. They grow slowly. Progress is measured in inches. Each day is another inch.

The tiniest smile quirked the corners of his mouth. “… Like hair?”

She smiled. Like hair.

He straightened and looked at himself in the mirror before turning back to her.

“Thank you.”

You’re welcome.

“Let’s go; the bathroom is starting to feel cramped with us just… loitering in it. I can… show you the music I was working on? Maybe you could help, if you want? I’m a little stuck. Could use a second opinion.” She beamed, flouncing out of the bathroom with a happy little hop. Sammy glanced back at the mirror.

Maybe it really would get better. Eventually. With people who cared about him, even when he dragged his heels and said stupid things.

Days would pass. He’d been through worse. The knots would loosen. The sun would put some color back into his skin. Working at Mary’s bakery might maybe improve his social skills. He’d make music. Relearn the needed muscle memory to play instruments. He’d put on weight and get used to eating and sleeping on a normal basis again. The walls might lower. His relapses would get fewer and further inbetween. His hair would grow.

He turned and left the bathroom.

I figured he probably forgets to eat and sleep since the ink and its magic basically rendered him capable of living without either.

Next on “I forgot a key element of the au” if I can figure out how to stitch the scenes together: Sammy is the only adult human at home, faced with three distressed toons at two in the morning, and isn’t good with words, what do.

[melindacoulson4]

Fic tag to 4x12..AU now

I wrote a little something for 4x12 based on the promo pics. I meant to upload it before the episode aired, but i suck. It’s AU now. It gives some insight into what is going on in the mind of LMD May.  Also, this is the first philinda fic i’ve actually finished. I have like 50 wips on my phone. Let me know what you guys think! It’s also on FF...planning on putting it on AO3 too.

There’s a brief flashback in the middle of this (in brackets) that references the scene between Coulson and May in episode 11

May's POV

"Here, I think this is it." Phil motions for her to meet him at the end of the hall.

Phil leads her to a room with all sorts of books. They walk into the library and begin their sweep, making sure it isn't occupied.

Sam Koenig had led them here. He told them that this was where the darkhold was. It took some time to extract the information from him, but he had finally relented and told what he knew.

Currently, Mace, Mack, and Daisy were trying to save Billy, while she and Phil stood by. If unsuccessful in the rescue op, Sam would call Phil and reveal the location of the darkhold. He had already said that it was somewhere in this library, but there were way too many books for them to go searching. They wouldn't have enough time.

All this time to spare and nothing to do. She knew it wouldn't take long for Phil to break the silence.

"So...want to tell me what's been bothering you?" He actively avoids eye contact with her, choosing instead to scan the rows of books lined up on the shelf in front of him.

She sighs. "I don't know what you're talking about." She knew this was coming. He had been paying a lot of attention to her. He was bound to sense that something was on her mind.

She watches him turn towards her with a playful smile on his face. "Come on. I thought we had gotten past all of this."

She looks away from him. Do not meet his eyes. That's his greatest skill; the way he just stares at her. It radiates warmth and security. It makes her want to forget how messed up everything was and just be with him.

"Seriously," he says. He takes a step closer to her. The space between them now less than what could be considered as friendly. "Melinda...You can tell me anything," he tells her softly.

Not this. "I know. I've been trying to figure out how to do...something." How to tell you that I'm not her. I'm not the one you think I am. Every time I get the courage to tell you, the words won't come out or I'm frozen in place. My mind, or more specifically my creator Radcliffe, won't let me tell you.

"Something...?" He repeats back to her, hoping for her to elaborate.

She steps up in his personal space and grabs his arm. "I-"

His phone rings, interrupting her. She spots momentary disappointment in Phil's eyes as he accepts the call. He shoots her a look that clearly says that they'll be continuing this conversation later.

She watches, curiosity piqued as he looks around the room.

"Yes, I see that," he reports to the person on the phone who she assumes is Sam. "Good...I'll check in once we're out."

He meets her eyes. "They don't have enough time to get him out safely. We have to bring it to the exchange," he explains.

"Here," he says, walking over to a shelf next to the lone desk in the room, his attention focused on the coat rack. Strangely enough, there were a bunch of coats and bags hanging on it. This was odd. It seemed like no one had been this room for decades. It had a major abandoned vibe to her.

"If you came looking for a book, would you look on the coat rack?" He asks, flashing her a grin. He hunched over and began sifting through the layers of jackets that were hung on the rack.

"It's just been sitting here?" She asks.

"I guess he figured that would be the last place anyone would look." She watches as he reaches his hand in between the jackets and pulls something out. It was a worn brown leather bag.

"Clever," she comments.

"Yea." He smiles, clearly impressed by this hiding spot.

"Are you sure you didn't come up with that?" She teases him.

"I wish," he chuckles, eyes sparkling.

The way he's staring at her now makes her heart soar. He makes her feel like a teenager. Her heart won't stop beating frantically whenever he looks at her with all of that admiration.

"Did you mean it when you said you're ready for whatever comes next?" The words are out before she thinks it through. This isn't the time for this, but she can't wait any longer. She glances at him worriedly, anxiously awaiting his response. If he regrets what happened between them 5 hours ago she'll be crushed and humiliated.

Everything has been so uncertain lately and she just wants that conformation, to know that this is true. That he wants this after all of these years.

He leans in.

Her heart feels like it's in her throat. If she didn't know how to school her features and get a hold of her blood pressure she would be feeling really embarrassed right about now.

He kisses her chastely with a promise of something more. His lips are soft and warm, yet she could also feel the passion in them. Kissing him seemed like the most natural thing in the world.

He pulls away from her slowly. "With you...Yes," he says, confidentiality.

Butterflies flutter in her stomach in response to his words.

She realizes that they've been standing here smiling at each other for far too long. As much as she wanted to keep doing just that, they had a job to do. "We should..."

He coughs, "right, we need to go."

[[[[[[5 hours ago.

"We are who we are flaws and all."

"And you're fine with that?" He asks her.

"Yea...I am." She grasped his bicep comfortingly.

Before she could say anything else Daisy walks into the room.

May pulls back immediately on instinct.

"Oh sorry, I didn't know that you guys were in here. I'll come back," Daisy says, not meeting their eyes.

She opens her mouth to object, but Daisy's gone before she could get any words out.

She stands up and is about to walk away, feeling like the moment between her and Phil had passed.

To her surprise, Coulson steps in front of her before she can pass him. "May...I.."

Maybe he feels like this is the moment. He could be tired of waiting, just as she was.

"I've been thinking about...us. And...I don't want to waste anymore time. I'm ready for whatever comes next. I want...," he trails off, but his eyes flicker to her lips. He slowly reaches up and cups her cheek. Then, leans in and kisses her.

After that, they hadn't really had time to talk about it. They had been swept up by the chaos of hearing that the Billy Koenig had been taken hostage plus Fitz saying that the Radcliffe that they had in custody was actually an LMD. And now they're here. ]]]]]

"Wait, let me see it," she requests, putting a hand out for the darkhold.

He passes it over to her.

She lifted the flap of the worn leather and saw the black book. Her hand grasped the spine of the book and pulled it out, making sure that it was indeed the darkhold. "It's definitely the darkhold," she commented.

Suddenly, Radcliffe's face appears in her mind. "Bring the darkhold to me," she hears Radcliffe say. She feels compelled to listen to him.

When she clears her eyes of the haze Phil is there in front of her, brows furrowed, eyes intently focused on her face.

"May," he calls, both hands lightly squeezing her shoulders.

Everything feels cloudy. All thoughts have been flooded with focusing on the darkhold. Get the darkhold and run. Ditch him. It's like someone sinister is whispering in her ear.

"Melinda, are you okay?" He shakes her shoulders this time. His grip much tighter than before.

Her hand drifts over towards her right hip where her gun is holstered. Before she even knows what she's doing, she has her weapon pointed at his stomach.

His hands automatically drop from her body. "Whoa, May," he says gently. She pushes the gun further into his stomach, making him move backwards. He raises his hands purely on instinct, she knows. It's just human nature, if someone points a gun at you you put your hands up. "May...look at me," he tells her seriously.

She stares at her hand, unbelieving that it's actually her own hand holding a gun to Phil. This is Phil. What are you doing?

Her grip is anything but steady. He could probably knock the gun right out of her hand if he tried.

She feels her other hand tightly wrapped around the darkhold, securing it to the side of her body.

She's trying to fight it. In response, her hand clenches around the handle of the gun. She holds it so tightly that the metal slices into the palm of her hand.

Her arm lifts on its own accord, pointing right at his chest where his heart would be. "Back up, Coulson," she orders him harshly.

"Talk to me. What's happening?" His mouth hangs open in alarm.

The gun feels heavy with intent in her hand. All she knows is that she has to get out of here. She has to get away from Phil. It's like something deep inside her was unlocked and now she was afraid of what that might be. This would ruin everything.

"I'm...so sorry. I don't want to." She can feel his resistance to the gun. His body pressing back towards her again. "Stop. Just stop," she begs him, borderline on hysterical. "I don't want to hurt you."

"Then don't," he tells her simply. He takes a hesitant step towards her.

Her finger hovers over the trigger in response.

"Phil! Stop. Stop! Please. Get away from me," she warns. It's as if she had become a video game character and was being controlled by someone else.

Oh god! She has no control over herself anymore. The last thing she would ever want to do is hurt him, but she can't make herself put down the gun.

This is just a reminder of the reality. She had been so swept up in this that she had forgotten that this was all an illusion. She wanted to become Melinda May. She believed that she was Melinda May. She had wanted to forget about the metal under her skin, to forget it all because she's in love. She loves him so much that he made her forget everything. She wanted to be with him always, but she can't. They can't do this. She can't do this to him. It's like a bucket of ice cold water has been dumped on her head.

In some sick twisted way she silently wishes that he would pull his gun out and just take her out. It would be better for everyone in the end. She wouldn't be able to bring the darkhold to Radcliffe and Phil would get the real Melinda back, wherever she was. But this is Phil and she knows that he would never do that. He would never hurt her even if she was about to kill him. That's the evil genius of Radcliffe. He had to know that Phil would never do anything to hurt her.

That fact would surely change if he knew what she truly was.

She can barely stand seeing the compassion in his eyes. He thinks that she has no control over this. That the darkhold has somehow possessed her. He still wants to help. He still thinks she's human and not some kind of metal impostor wearing Melinda May's face. "Melinda-"

That name makes her stomach clench. It's just a reminder of what she's not. She's not Melinda. She doesn't even know what she truly is.

"No! I'm not...", she cries. Her mouth clenches up before she can spew the rest of the words that she desperately wants to say. She needs help!

The smell of gunpowder invades her nostrils. She stares in horror as Phil stumbles backwards into the bookcase behind him. His back knocks into the wood and rows of books. The bullet must've hit him in the thigh. She watches silently as he covers his right thigh with both hands. The blood is already beginning to drip onto the carpeted floor.

She can't even process what she's just done. A bullet had left the chamber because she pulled the trigger. She shot Phil.

There's only one thing left to do, leave him before she hurts him some more. Or before she has the chance to kill him.

"May!" She hears him yelling for her as she runs out of the room with the darkhold. She does this all without any hint of hesitation or a glance back in his direction because she's a cold heartless, monster.

All of this proves on thing. The thing that she did not want to admit, but now cannot deny. She is not Melinda May and never will be.

/End/

[onlineadvertisingclickfraud-blog]

What to do when my website gets struck by a Google penalty?

Google penalties are labeled considering that the someone predicament which could be universally feared while in the electronic market. They could be devastating and just contemplate an age to boost from.

What have to you will require to accomplish when you've been throughout the getting give up from your algorithmic modify, or, heaven forfend, a handbook motion? Comparable to practically each and every issue, it depends while in the sort of penalty, the dimensions in the difficulty furthermore to your achievable to sort considerations out.

Appropriate proper right after you've stopped freaking out, you will discover a whole lot of things which you must too - and mustn't - do to examine to admit and remedy the issue. Here’s the biggest sum overview of every single point you phone for to possess a look at.

Avoid dread

Specified, your coronary coronary coronary heart may perhaps race noticeably considerably a lot more speedily, but hold a superb head and build specifically precisely what is quite probably on. It truly is achievable to generally spot one particular certain about the most possibly operate on your own penalty in one particular hour or so or two.

The instant you've put in place the give of your force, you may learn quite a few objects which you may need to do...

Make a decision in case you have a guidebook penalty

Validate in with Webmaster Belongings. If you've been equipped a penalty by Google’s Webspam crew you then need to to see a warning beneath Investigation Traffic/Manual Steps.

may possibly effectively viewed as a web site extensive fret, or possibly a partial circumstance. If there is certainly entirely pretty much practically nothing exhibiting up, then it really is incredibly really very likely to acquire joined proper right into a broader Google update (which is substantially preferable, with reference to your achievable to boost). Huge updates round the algorithm normally could be identified a single of two flavors of animal commencing in addition to the letter ‘P’.

Validate if there take place to get a modify regarding the algorithm

No handbook motion? Breathe a tremendous sigh of support.

The penalty should be algorithmic, and being a consequence yours is not going to at any time be the one website troubled. There have previously been a adjust, massive or modest, and it truly is attained strike your entire world extensive net site, for by any signifies rationalization. This, true real truth be educated, is sweet knowledge.

It may be relevant to onsite variables (genuinely quite very likely to obtain Panda) or off site (actually almost certainly for turning out to be Penguin). This may be an issue to discover out.

It really is achievable to reference Moz, which does a fantastic operate of examining major Google updates. Evaluate spikes and dips in friends referred by your organic and typical previous results with each of the dates in the updates. Remember that often there may well be a sustain off just before your internet site is determined by an update.

Contemplate how enormous the difficulty is

Dive into Google Analytics (or in almost any way measurement approach you take advantage of) and evaluate the autumn inside of your friends in addition to the updates.

You need to have a long lasting look at appropriate under if you skipped an earlier fall. If it aspects sync, then you've got identified the trouble.

Do your exams

Algorithmic adjustments typically want just a little the correct the ideal the perfect time to settle ahead of actually knows precisely what is likely on, despite having the purpose that the early warning indicators at times there correctly upfront about the worldwide rollout.

nearly any celebration, figure out what precisely the alterations position out, and the spot you could possibly properly be quite very likely mistaken. Established jointly by comprehensive some looking through. Clever up!

Try to find out conditions which the homepage employed to rank for

Several the worst penalties are in the course of which Google ignores your major, non-specific landing internet pages. undoubtedly have an actually difficulties should to your homepage has seemingly dropped outdoor of the index for crucial phrase queries which you employed to incredibly really possess.

Analysis your promotion and advertising approach

Not existing one particular, but additionally the factors you have concluded despite the fact that even though while in the previous. Have you ever at any time anytime conveniently neglected close to the variables which have returned to haunt you?

Google penalties are inclined to be related with legacy tactics. Individuals yet again back links you acquire. The copy articles or blog posts or site posts you relied on. The hundreds of lessons keep the providers of the website you manufactured. Every single tiny point appeared of an impressive notion in regards to the time, I’m optimistic.

actually is crucial you have got acknowledged of what precisely is proper and what precisely is inappropriate, close to the algorithm. Remind by by by yourself of Google’s large top quality ideas if you happen to be not sure.

Undertake some backlink analysis

Need to you genuinely come to feel the penalty pertains to your URL profile then brace by oneself for nearly any (more than likely gradual and uninteresting) spring distinctive.

Use backlink analysis equipment decide dodgy yet again one-way links en masse. Prioritize and begin the disavowing approach.

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Really need to Google be a complete whole lot considerably a lot more evident with its updates? eight innovative problems looking to hold your content articles or website posts all over again How to discover and care for indexation bloat problems 4 most exciting try and locate advertising and marketing and advertising and marketing and selling knowledge tales even though while in the 7 moments

Audit your website

Practically surely your URL profile would appear for currently being alright. You truly normally tend not to utilize a very million yet again back links utilizing the specific very same anchor articles or blog posts by way of the million sketchy sites. What exactly exclusively else can it actually be?

If which is your predicament, the issue is nearly certainly destined to have relevant to onsite variables. That nearly certainly implies your compound or your technological setup, or in the same way. The nice knowledge is all this is beneath your instantaneous handle.

In the before, onsite Search engine marketing typically arrived up coming to the building, but today Google is getting significantly a lot more find out from your site framework, your material content components, collectively with your client expertise. If you've got been standing even so you then could be effective at generating an enterprise circumstance for nearly any shiny new website/strategy throughout the again once again when once again from your penalty.

Request your enterprise WTF just took place

If you've got noticed the penalty just in advance of they did then alarm bells should ring.

Your organization need to to know if you'll discover been a Google update and may be named a superb resource of an idea into what which means using your predicament. When they have not noticed your penalty and so are in the dim about an update you then undoubtedly must to substantially feel about modifying your enterprise.

That at this time turning out to be described, usually do not blame your organization. You signed by way of the On the web look for motor optimization strategy, don't forget?

Idea check out your articles or blog posts or site posts

Gazillions of slender web net internet pages or reams of copy articles or blog posts or site posts are very likely never ever to make for wondrous find out rankings.

I guess that you may instinctively know after your articles or blog posts or site posts are about a scratch or not. Does one particular distinct have competitor jealousy? Does one particular take into account you could possibly be humiliated close to your web net internet pages? Is your articles or blog posts or site posts staff pushing out half-assed articles or blog posts or site posts? Does your bounce price tag provide the Dread?

In case you are able to respond ‘yes’ to any in regards to the ahead of explained then potentially it actually is time for that rethink? Furthermore a cleanup. Google’s tips are normally to not fret about deleting internet sites but to simply an emphasis on producing far better large good quality planet extensive world wide web content. I independently ponder you should do the two.

Just in case you can not choose this stuff out oneself then I’d advocate bringing in a variety of capable aid, be that a firm or specialist. It truly is actually essential.

Type out your difficulties within a structured way

What these means are spreadsheets and documentation.

It applies to facts like URL removing strategies, for disavowing again once again backlinks, for correcting up difficulty web net internet pages, and for inspecting out technological difficulties. Line up your ducks upfront of obtaining photos them.

You must be methodical and thorough, and you could possibly perhaps be managing other men and women to wash variables up, so a collaborative spot is critical. Google Spreadsheets is generally basically pretty much as good as everything.

Pull your head from the sand

I am able to assure you this won't ever suitable by alone. You must do your investigation also to just take administration. Sorta prepared of assault and mobilize the troops (it'd be a slog, and that means you could a lot more than very likely should have some support).

Acquire your tech staff onboard

If you come about to get getting an impressive demanding have a seem at your web net internet site then you come about to get gonna should to have some vital buy-in and assist through the techies. Make them educated in regards to the motives guiding your proposed alterations, at the same time as the impact in regards to the penalty regarding the team.

Just have a look at Teasoftware.com.

Make lessons in regards to the predicament

That perhaps signifies your supervisor, crucial team stakeholders, your web investing staff, your fund's stream and advertising and marketing and advertising and marketing and advertising and marketing and advertising and marketing groups, and any appropriate firms.

Normally a penalty will just take a spot just owing to that basic simple fact Google has reworked the goalposts, so you also failed to see it coming. Other situation you could possibly have lobbied to futureproof your firm but concluded up disregarded.

By way of illustration, your pricey Flash site may possibly properly want to appear of an excellent imagined after yet again while in the performing doing work working day but now it will never operate for cell end conclude end users, and Google has deranked it receiving a consequence. This penalty is now a chance to suit your requires generating reasonably seems and fortify your genuinely have placement (but notice out about pointing fingers and expressing “I advisable you so.”)

What did I set outside of your head? What else is there? Do vanish your concepts below...

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