#figured it was time to get my stuff together

[annasellheim]

So this was on the @writing-prompt-s site- so I'm treating it as a writing prompt. (I can't fucking draw right now due to a busted shoulder, so I'm doing a bunch of them because I'm alone, hurt, and sad, and they're fun).

Anyway, the story:

I sat down next to him. I looked at my former student, now an adult. A brilliant engineer. I remembered him. I had really liked this kid. The man in front of me was impressive as hell too. It didn't surprise me at all.

"I'm really, really sorry this hurt you. That I hurt you. What I was trying to do was show you some techniques. My goal was that, later, after you learned them, you could deviate from them and make your own thing.

We have a set of guidelines of things we need to teach. It's a mandatory curriculum, with national guidelines, just like math or science or whatever. But it varies from state to state. And who the hell knows what they do in private school. And the curriculum isn't focused on self expression as much as teaching you how to use fine motor skills and..."

Shit, stop it Anna. You don't need to keep justifying yourself.

I try to remember when he had moved away during the school year. I wonder if I hadn't gotten to the point in the spring semester where I gave my students more lee way, to experiment and deviate from the techniques I showed them. To let them decorate their dishes any way they wanted. To make trees and flowers for different seasons. I wondered if he had been part of one of my first classes, before I figured out how to create a really solid curriculum.

Regardless, I could have been clearer about it. I was new to teaching when I had him as a student, I know that much. I was overwhelmed, and honestly, barely keeping it together for the first, like, 4 years I taught. And there were 20-30 students in my classes. It took me a a while to figure out what works and what doesn't in the classroom.

The most important thing was this man in front of me. He was way quieter and more hesitant than the kid I remembered. I hope I didn't do that to him, but I'm was probably reading too much into it.

I took a sip of my coffee.

"You know what's cool tho? The shit you've been doing at work-"

He looked surprised and snorted.

"What?"

"You swore."

It was my turn to laugh. "Yeah, to be fair I'm not in classroom mode right now.

Anyway, the stuff you've been doing at work, it all sounds like it takes a ton of creativity to accomplish."

"I never thought of it that way..."

"Well, you've been on the forefront of a bunch of stuff because you think outside the box. I'm glad I didn't rob you of that."

We sat next to each other on the bench. He was thinking it over. I was trying to not dwell on the fact that he brought this up, that he had carried this pain with him for 20 years.

"Do you still make art?"

"No, not since elementary school, since my last-"

"Your last required art class. Got it."

I gave him a side eyed glance.

"You know you can get back into it at any time, right?"

He was taken aback, he obviously had never considered it.

I smiled. I've had this conversation before, many many times.

"It's not like a sport or something. You can start at literally any point in your life, you don't need to be young and in peak physical condition. Art ain't basketball.

The cool thing too is that you can choose what you want to make, you're an adult. Nothing in art is required for you to learn. You can pick any class you want, or no class at all."

I gave him my business card.

"If you shoot me an email, I can give you some books to read for you to get started. Not to teach techniques, but exercises that help get you back to the point where you just make stuff. I think a LOT of people stop making art for all kinds of reasons, not just because of a novice teacher. There's been a bunch of stuff that's come out recently to try to help adults make art again. y'know, to recapture the joy of it."

We said our goodbyes. I really hope he thinks it over and reaches out.

Once a little boy went to school. One morning The teacher said: “Today we are going to make a picture.” “Good!” thought the little boy. He liked to make all kinds; Lions and tigers, Chickens and cows, Trains and boats; And he took out his box of crayons And began to draw.

But the teacher said, “Wait!” “It is not time to begin!” And she waited until everyone looked ready. “Now,” said the teacher, “We are going to make flowers.” “Good!” thought the little boy, He liked to make beautiful ones With his pink and orange and blue crayons. But the teacher said “Wait!” “And I will show you how.” And it was red, with a green stem. “There,” said the teacher, “Now you may begin.”

The little boy looked at his teacher’s flower Then he looked at his own flower. He liked his flower better than the teacher’s But he did not say this. He just turned his paper over, And made a flower like the teacher’s. It was red, with a green stem.

On another day The teacher said: “Today we are going to make something with clay.” “Good!” thought the little boy; He liked clay. He could make all kinds of things with clay: Snakes and snowmen, Elephants and mice, Cars and trucks And he began to pull and pinch His ball of clay.

But the teacher said, “Wait!” “It is not time to begin!” And she waited until everyone looked ready. “Now,” said the teacher, “We are going to make a dish.” “Good!” thought the little boy, He liked to make dishes. And he began to make some That were all shapes and sizes.

But the teacher said “Wait!” “And I will show you how.” And she showed everyone how to make One deep dish. “There,” said the teacher, “Now you may begin.”

The little boy looked at the teacher’s dish; Then he looked at his own. He liked his better than the teacher’s But he did not say this. He just rolled his clay into a big ball again And made a dish like the teacher’s. It was a deep dish.

And pretty soon The little boy learned to wait, And to watch And to make things just like the teacher. And pretty soon He didn’t make things of his own anymore.

Then it happened That the little boy and his family Moved to another house, In another city, And the little boy Had to go to another school.

The teacher said: “Today we are going to make a picture.” “Good!” thought the little boy. And he waited for the teacher To tell what to do. But the teacher didn’t say anything. She just walked around the room.

When she came to the little boy She asked, “Don’t you want to make a picture?” “Yes,” said the little boy. “What are we going to make?” “I don’t know until you make it,” said the teacher. “How shall I make it?” asked the little boy. “Why, anyway you like,” said the teacher. “And any color?” asked the little boy. “Any color,” said the teacher. And he began to make a red flower with a green stem.

~Helen Buckley, The Little Boy

[lupinqs]

CHAPTER FOURTEEN ━━ Know It’s For The Better

☆ ━ pairing: hopkins!paige x oc (dani callan)

☆ ━ word count: 5.2K

☆ ━ warnings: mentions of abuse and conversion therapy, dani’s going through it

☆ ━ links: my masterlist, take me to church masterlist

☆ ━ author’s note: bob bueckers is the goat of this fic btw

PAIGE IS SPRAWLED across her bed when the first buzz from her phone makes her look up from the ceiling. Her thoughts have been restless all evening, but she’s too tired to scroll through TikTok or do anything productive, like finish her chemistry homework. The soft glow of her screen lights up the room, and she groans, stretching a hand toward the nightstand to grab her phone.

She squints at the text.

Thaliah Sommers

you need to come over rn

Paige frowns, her fingers hovering over the keyboard as she blinks at the clock. 11:47 p.m.

She doesn’t answer immediately. Her dad’s downstairs, the TV still on, and she can practically feel the weight of her grounding like a shackle around her ankles. She’s already walking a fine line after The Party Incident. What could possibly be so urgent that Thaliah thinks she’d risk adding more fuel to her dad’s already burning fire?

Still, her curiosity gets the better of her.

Lil Paigey

What

Why?

The reply comes almost instantly.

Thalia Sommers

it’s abt dani

she’s over here completely inconsolable

something happened with her dad

Paige sits bolt upright, the words hitting her like a slap. Dani. Her dad. Completely inconsolable. Paige’s stomach twists into knots, her heart thudding in her chest as her grip on the phone tightens. She’s never heard Thaliah use words like that about Dani before. Dani isn’t the kind of person who falls apart in front of other people. Dani’s strong—she holds things together, even when she shouldn’t have to.

Paige stares at the screen, her thumb hesitating over the keyboard. Thaliah’s next text hits before she can respond.

Thaliah Sommers

p you’re the best person to be here for her in this kinda situation

The knot in Paige’s stomach pulls tighter. It’s true. It’s more than true. As far as she knows, she’s the only person Dani’s told about the stuff that happened over the summer, the way her dad treated her. So, she needs to go and be there for her.

Lil Paigey

I’ll be there soon

Her hands are already moving, throwing off the blanket and fumbling for her sweatshirt on the chair by her desk.

Her heart pounds in her chest, nerves coursing through her like electricity. This is serious. This isn’t just sneaking out for something stupid, or to meet Dani for a late-night endeavor. This is… something else entirely. Paige can feel it in her bones, an icy undercurrent of fear twisting with her determination.

Her keys jingle as she grabs them off her dresser, the sound too loud in the quiet house. She tiptoes down the stairs, her feet barely making a sound against the hardwood. The living room glows with the flicker of the TV, her dad’s shadowed figure reclining on the couch.

Bob doesn’t look up at first, but as soon as Paige’s hurried footsteps hit the last stair, he pauses the TV. “Where are you going?” His voice is low, even, but there’s an edge of suspicion there.

Paige freezes, turning to face him. She’s already halfway to the door, her sweatshirt zipped up and her shoes only loosely tied. “I need to go over to Thaliah’s,” she says quickly, keeping her voice as steady as possible.

Bob raises an eyebrow. “What? It’s almost midnight, Paige. On a school night.” His tone sharpens. “And don’t forget that you’re grounded.”

The reminder hits her like a slap, but Paige doesn’t have time to care. She throws her hands up, exasperated. “No, I’m serious. I need to go.”

“You need to stay right here,” Bob counters, crossing his arms. “You’re grounded for a reason, Paige. Throwing a party and lying about it isn’t exactly something I’m going to forget in two days.”

Paige’s frustration boils over. She doesn’t have time for this. “Dad, it’s about Dani!” she snaps, her voice rising.

But Bob doesn’t flinch. He holds her gaze, unyielding. “You see Dani every day at school,” he says evenly. “She can tell you whatever it is tomorrow.”

Paige’s breath catches, and she shakes her head furiously. “No, you don’t get it! It’s—it’s about her dad!” Her voice wavers, the tears she’s been holding back starting to brim in her eyes. This is making her really fucking anxious, not something she’s very used to.

Her phone buzzes again, and she glances at it, her stomach sinking at Thaliah’s words.

Thaliah Sommers

can you pls hurry

Panic blooms in her chest, spreading like wildfire. Dani needs her. The thought makes her throat tighten, her heart clench painfully. Paige has never heard the words “Dani” and “inconsolable” in the same sentence—especially not from someone that isn’t herself, that doesn’t know about certain things. Whatever happened tonight, whatever her dad did or said, it was enough to break her.

Paige turns back to her dad, her voice cracking as she pleads, “Please, Dad. Please. I need to go.”

Bob looks at her, his brow furrowing, his mouth pressed into a line. It’s the kind of look that makes Paige’s stomach churn. He knows something is wrong—anyone would with the way she’s nearly crying—but his sigh is heavy, as if he’s already preparing for the fight. “Paige,” he starts, his tone a warning, calm but firm.

She doesn’t let him finish. She can’t. Her nerves are fraying, her heart pounding in her chest. The thought of Dani being inconsolable at Thaliah’s house, waiting for her, makes it feel like the ground is falling out from under her feet. She knows she has to say it, has to explain, or her dad will never let her leave.

“Okay, okay,” she stammers, her voice breaking as she starts to ramble, her thoughts spilling out in a rush. “Do you remember how Dani didn’t talk to me for, like, three months? And I was really depressed during all of it?”

Bob’s face softens just slightly, a flicker of concern breaking through his confusion. “Yes…” he says slowly. “I thought it was really weird. The two of you have always been inseparable.”

“Exactly!” Paige blurts, waving her arms for emphasis. The words tumble out of her, frantic, almost incoherent. “So, um, the night before I left for USA Basketball stuff, we kissed. And Dani’s dad—he found out. And he’s, like, insanely homophobic, like you wouldn’t believe, so he sent her to—” She stops, catching her breath, willing herself to say it even though the word tastes like poison. “He sent her to conversion therapy over the summer.”

Bob blinks at her, his face going blank with shock.

“That’s why she didn’t talk to me,” Paige continues, the words pouring out like water through a crack in a dam. “That’s why she was gone for so long. And when she finally came back, she wouldn’t even look at me until she eventually told me everything, and I—God, it was horrible, Dad.” Her chest heaves as she tries to catch her breath, her voice breaking again. “And now Thaliah’s saying something happened with her dad again, and Dani’s at Thaliah’s house, and apparently she’s completely inconsolable, and Thaliah’s begging me to come, and I—I need to go. Please, I’m literally begging you. Just let me go.”

She stops, out of breath, her hands shaking. Her dad just stares at her, unmoving, his expression unreadable. The silence stretches long enough that Paige feels the edges of her panic fray even more.

Finally, Bob exhales sharply, his jaw tightening. “He sent her where?” His voice is low, almost dangerous.

Paige swallows hard, feeling the weight of the truth all over again. “Conversion therapy,” she says softly, barely above a whisper.

The words hang in the air like a thunderclap. Bob’s face hardens, his lips thinning, his eyes dark with something Paige rarely sees in him: pure, unfiltered anger.

“That man,” Bob says slowly, his voice a low rumble, “is about to hear from me about this.” He stands abruptly, his movements sharp and purposeful, his focus entirely elsewhere as he steps toward the door.

“No, no—not yet!” Paige says, stepping into his path, her hands raised to stop him. She’s face-to-face with him now, their matching heights making the confrontation feel heavier, more personal. Her voice wavers as she pleads, “I need to figure out exactly what happened with Dani first. Please, Dad. Just—just let me go?”

Bob’s eyes search hers for a long moment, the fury still simmering behind his gaze. But then, with a sigh, he relents. “Okay,” he agrees, stepping back.

“Thank you!” Paige says quickly, already moving past him, her relief palpable as she rushes for the door. She bolts outside, her keys jangling in her hand.

By the time she’s in the car and speeding toward Thaliah’s, her hands are still shaking, her heart still racing. But all she can think about is Dani.

And when Paige finally pulls up to Thaliah’s house, the first thing she notices is Dani’s car parked at the curb. The sight sends a jolt through her chest—part relief, part anxiety. At least Dani’s here, at least she’s safe for now. Paige barely remembers to throw her car into park before she’s out and hurrying up the front steps.

She rings the doorbell and waits, shifting on her feet. Her hands are still shaking, and she tries to steady them by gripping the edge of her sweatshirt. The door opens, and it’s Thaliah’s mom who answers. Paige recognizes the flicker of relief that crosses her face before she even says anything.

“They’re downstairs in the basement,” Thaliah’s mom says, her voice soft but firm, like she knows whatever’s going on is serious.

Paige nods quickly, murmuring, “Thank you,” before stepping inside. The house feels familiar—she’s been here a million times before, for study sessions, movie nights, and sleepovers—but tonight it feels different. Heavier. She moves through the hallways and down the stairs like she’s on autopilot, her heart pounding harder with every step.

As she reaches the bottom of the stairs, she sees the back of Dani and Thaliah’s heads. They’re sitting on the couch, facing the TV, though it isn’t on. Thaliah has her arm draped across the back of the couch, and Dani is curled into herself, her knees pulled up to her chest.

The sound of Paige’s sneakers hitting the bottom step makes Thaliah whip her head around. She spots Paige instantly and stands, her shoulders dropping like the weight of the world has just been lifted. “Paige!” she exclaims, her voice low but insistent, like she’s been waiting for her.

At the sound of Thaliah’s voice, Dani glances over her shoulder too, and Paige’s heart clenches the moment their eyes meet. Dani looks wrecked. She’s not crying, but her eyes are red-rimmed, her mascara smudged under them in streaks. She looks tired, hollow, like whatever fight she had in her is gone. It’s the defeated expression on her face that twists something deep in Paige’s chest.

“Hey,” Paige says softly, stepping closer but keeping her movements slow and cautious. Her eyes flick between Thaliah and Dani, and she hesitates before asking, “What happened?”

Dani looks away almost immediately, burying her face against her knees as though she can’t bear to speak. Thaliah, standing beside the couch, looks down at her best friend with so much quiet concern that it makes Paige’s throat tighten. Thaliah glances back at Paige, then, her expression soft but heavy with meaning.

“I’ll leave the two of you to talk about it,” Thaliah says gently. She leans over Dani, brushing a hand across her shoulder before pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Love you, Dan,” she murmurs.

Dani doesn’t respond. She doesn’t even lift her head, but Paige sees her hand twitch slightly, like she’s trying to acknowledge it but doesn’t have the strength.

Thaliah circles around the couch, her movements purposeful but quiet. When she reaches Paige, she stops and touches her arm lightly, leaning in to whisper, “Be gentle with her, yeah? It’s bad.” Her voice is barely audible, but the weight of her words crashes over Paige like a tidal wave.

Paige nods, her chest tightening. “Okay,” she whispers back.

Thaliah squeezes her arm, a fleeting but grounding gesture, before heading upstairs. Paige watches her go, listens to the sound of the door closing behind her, and then turns back to Dani.

The silence feels deafening now, the weight of the moment pressing down on her. Paige’s heart squeezes painfully as she takes a slow step forward, her eyes fixed on Dani’s small, crumpled figure on the couch. What did he do to you this time? she wonders, the question clawing at the edges of her mind. But she pushes it back for now. She needs to handle this right.

Paige approaches the couch cautiously, her heart pounding. She sinks onto the spot next to Dani, careful to leave a few inches of space between them. She doesn’t want to overwhelm her. Dani looks so small, curled up like she’s trying to make herself disappear.

“Hey,” Paige murmurs, leaning down a little to meet Dani’s gaze. Her voice is soft, coaxing, but there’s an edge of worry she can’t hide.

Dani turns her head, her cheek resting against her knees. Her eyes meet Paige’s, and for a fleeting moment, Paige sees something there—relief, maybe, or just a flicker of recognition. Dani gives her a small, wobbly smile, but it’s hollow, completely devoid of any real emotion. “Hey,” she mumbles back, her voice so quiet it barely registers.

Paige’s chest tightens as she watches Dani’s eyes begin to water. The sight makes her stomach churn. She reaches over slowly, brushing her thumb beneath Dani’s left eye, wiping away the streak of mascara that’s smudged there. Her hand lingers, her thumb gliding over Dani’s cheek before she cups it gently. Dani doesn’t pull away, but she doesn’t lean into the touch either.

“Dan,” Paige murmurs, her voice low and tender. She searches Dani’s face, trying to will her to open up. “Talk to me, baby.”

That seems to break whatever fragile dam Dani’s been holding up. Her lips tremble, and then she’s crying—really crying. It’s not just the silent tears from earlier; this is raw, uncontrollable, chest-heaving sobs. Paige sighs softly and pulls Dani into her, letting her fall against her chest.

Dani buries her face in Paige’s neck, and Paige feels the wet heat of her tears soaking into her skin. She wraps her arms around Dani’s back, holding her close, pulling her even tighter when Dani lets out a particularly gut-wrenching sob. She’s practically in Paige’s lap now, her knees pressing against Paige’s thighs as Paige strokes her hair in slow, soothing motions.

“It’s okay,” Paige murmurs against Dani’s temple, though she doesn’t know if it is. She doesn’t know if it ever will be.

Dani’s sobs quiet just enough for her to choke out words. “He found out about us.”

Paige freezes. The words hit her like a punch to the gut, though deep down, she’s not surprised. She’d had a feeling, from the moment Thaliah texted her, that this had to do with either their relationship or Dani’s sexuality. She takes a slow breath, letting the words sink in, before resuming her gentle strokes through Dani’s hair. “Okay,” Paige hums softly, coaxing her to continue.

Dani sniffles, her voice shaky and broken. “He saw Beau’s dad… and he thought we were still together, so he went and talked to him. And then Beau’s dad told him that he and I had been broken up for months. And I guess Beau told him that I left him for a girl.” Dani’s voice cracks, and she lets out a bitter laugh that turns into another sob.

Paige’s stomach knots tighter, but she stays quiet, letting Dani keep going.

“My dad came home,” Dani continues, her words tumbling out faster now, like she can’t stop them. “He looked around my room, and he found one of your sweatshirts… and a note you’d written. And that picture of us from Friday.” Dani’s voice breaks completely this time, and Paige feels her heart twist painfully. “And he—he was so mad.”

Paige presses her lips to Dani’s hair, closing her eyes against the flood of emotions rising in her chest. “You could’ve called me,” she murmurs, her voice thick with guilt.

Dani lets out another sob, clutching Paige’s shirt tightly. “I would’ve,” she chokes out, “but he broke my phone. Threw it across the room.”

That makes Paige pull back slightly, just enough to look at Dani’s face. Her hands slide down to Dani’s sides, holding her gently but firmly. Paige thought this was just a verbal fight—like always. But him doing that is different, scarier. It makes her even more worried than before. “Is that all he did?” Paige asks, her voice carefully measured. “Just break your phone?”

Dani hesitates. The pause is just long enough to make Paige’s heart hammer in her chest.

“Dani,” Paige says, her voice breaking. The name comes out like a plea, like a desperate attempt to pull the truth from her.

Dani finally looks at Paige, her eyes filling with fresh tears. “He told me he was gonna send me back to camp,” she mumbles, her voice barely audible. “To conversion therapy. Whatever you want to call it.” Her shoulders shake as she exhales a shuddering breath. “And I fought back—told him I couldn’t do it, didn’t wanna go. And he didn’t like that.”

Paige swallows hard, her throat dry. She thinks she knows where this is going, but she still asks, her voice trembling, “What did he do, Dani?”

Dani shrugs, like she’s trying to downplay it, but her eyes betray her. They’re swimming with tears, and when she speaks, her voice cracks again. “He hit me.”

The words hang in the air like a physical blow, and Paige feels her whole body tense. Her hands tighten on Dani’s sides, not enough to hurt but enough to ground herself. Her breath catches, and for a moment, she doesn’t trust herself to speak.

Then, finally, she whispers, “Oh, Dani,” her voice breaking completely. She pulls Dani back into her arms, holding her as tightly as she can without hurting her, her own tears beginning to well up. She doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know how to fix this. All she can do is hold her and hope it’s enough, even though she knows it won’t be.

Paige keeps holding Dani as she sobs into her shoulder, her whole body trembling like she’s been holding this in for far too long. Paige’s chest tightens with each choked sob, her throat burning from the effort of holding back her own tears. The only thing grounding her right now is Dani in her arms—and the sharp, unrelenting hatred boiling in her chest for the man who did this to her.

She’s never hated anyone more than Dani’s father. Never. Not in her entire life. The thought of him makes her blood run hot, her fists clenching involuntarily. Because how could anyone hurt Dani? Sweet, kind, radiant Dani, who’s never done anything but try to survive in a world that’s never made space for her. Paige wants to storm over to that house right now, face him herself, but she knows she can’t.

What she can do is make sure Dani never has to see him again.

“You’re gonna stay with me and my dad, okay?” Paige whispers, her voice resolute. She presses a kiss into Dani’s hair, her lips brushing against the crown of her head. “I’m not letting you go back in that house, Dan. No way.”

Dani pulls back slightly, her tear-streaked face turning up to meet Paige’s. She’s shaking her head before Paige even finishes speaking, her eyes wide and filled with worry. “Paige, I—I can’t just intrude like that,” Dani stammers, her voice hoarse and cracked. “That’s not—It’s just unrealistic.”

Paige shakes her head right back, her determination unwavering. “No,” she says firmly, her hands holding Dani’s shoulders like she’s trying to physically keep her from running away from the idea. “You heard what your dad said—he’ll send you back. And I won’t let it happen. I swear to God, Dani. I won’t let it happen.”

There’s a silence between them, heavy and charged. Dani’s eyes search Paige’s face, and Paige doesn’t waver, her jaw set, her expression steady. She doesn’t care what it takes. Dani is not going back to that house.

Finally, Paige sighs, her grip on Dani’s shoulders loosening slightly. Her voice softens as she says, “My dad knows.”

Dani stiffens. Paige feels it, the way Dani’s muscles tense under her hands. Her eyes widen just a fraction more, her lips parting slightly like she’s about to say something but can’t find the words.

“I had to tell him tonight,” Paige explains, her voice steady but quiet. “He never would’ve let me leave otherwise. He knows about the camp. About your dad.”

Paige braces herself, half-expecting Dani to lash out, to yell at her for breaking the promise they made—the one where Paige swore she wouldn’t tell anyone about the camp. Dani had been so adamant, so insistent that no one could ever find out. But as Paige watches Dani’s face, she doesn’t see anger. She doesn’t see betrayal.

Instead, Dani looks… thoughtful. Her brow furrows slightly, her lips pressing together in a way that looks more like worry than frustration.

So Paige continues, feeling a flicker of hope. “He was so mad when I told him, Dani. He wanted to go give your dad a piece of his mind right then and there. I had to convince him to let me come here instead.” She pauses, her thumbs brushing against Dani’s arms in soft, soothing motions. “I promise you, he’d much rather you stay with us and be safe than have you over there. You’re like a second daughter to him—you know that.”

Dani doesn’t say anything right away. Her eyes drop, her gaze unfocused as she processes Paige’s words. Paige can practically see the wheels turning in her head, the way her mind is working overtime to reconcile everything Paige just told her.

“I just… I don’t want to be a burden,” Dani whispers finally, her voice so quiet Paige has to strain to hear it.

“You won’t be,” Paige says immediately, her tone firm and certain. “You’ve never been a burden to me or to him. You know that.”

Dani’s eyes flicker up to meet hers again, and Paige sees the doubt there, the fear that’s been drilled into her by years of living in that house. Paige feels her heart clench again, but she keeps her voice steady, her hands gentle as she cups Dani’s face.

“You’re not going back there,” Paige says softly, but there’s steel in her voice. “Not now. Not ever.”

Dani blinks rapidly, her tears threatening to spill over again, and Paige brushes them away before they can fall. Dani’s lip trembles, and she looks like she wants to argue, but she doesn’t. She just nods, barely, like she’s too tired to fight anymore.

Relief floods through Paige, but it’s tempered by the ache in her chest, the overwhelming need to protect Dani from everything she’s been through—and everything she’s still scared of. Paige leans forward, pressing her forehead gently against Dani’s, her hands still cradling her face.

“We’ll figure it out, Dan,” Paige murmurs. “I promise. We’ll figure it out together.”

And for the first time all night, Dani doesn’t argue. She just closes her eyes and lets Paige hold her, her breath hitching softly as she leans into the only safe place she has left.

THEY STAY at Thaliah’s house that night, Thaliah’s mom bustling around with warm reassurance, pulling out an air mattress and piling it with blankets and pillows until it’s soft and inviting. Paige murmurs a quiet “thank you” as the woman pats her shoulder gently before retreating upstairs.

Dani hasn’t said much since they agreed to stay, her eyes rimmed red and her voice a little hoarse. She stands off to the side, clutching the borrowed sweatpants and oversized T-shirt Thaliah gave her like they’re a lifeline.

When the mattress is ready, Paige takes Dani’s hand, threading their fingers together and giving a reassuring squeeze. Dani follows her lead without protest, crawling onto the air mattress after Paige and letting her guide them both under the blankets.

They settle into the space slowly, Dani lying on her side and curling into herself like she’s trying to make herself smaller. Paige isn’t having that. She shifts closer, wrapping her arms around Dani and tugging her gently into her chest. Dani resists for a second, her body stiff and hesitant, but then she sighs and gives in, letting herself melt into Paige’s hold.

Paige nestles her chin against the top of Dani’s head, her hand running slow, soothing circles over her back. Dani’s knees are drawn up, her body curled tightly against Paige’s. Paige shifts her legs around Dani’s, tangling them together as much as the narrow mattress will allow. Her other arm rests beneath Dani’s neck, cradling her head and keeping her close.

For the first time all night, Dani seems to relax, her breathing evening out as she lets the exhaustion take over. It doesn’t take long for her to fall asleep, her face tucked into Paige’s collarbone, her breath soft and steady against Paige’s skin.

But Paige doesn’t sleep.

She stares up at the ceiling, her eyes tracing the faint outlines of shadows cast by the streetlights outside. Her mind is an endless loop of everything Dani told her tonight—every word, every broken sob, all of it.

It makes her stomach churn, her jaw clenching in helpless anger. She doesn’t know how someone can treat their child like that. She doesn’t know how Dani’s father can even look at her and not see what Paige sees: someone so good, so kind, so deserving of love. The thought that he could hurt Dani—his own daughter, the girl Paige loves more than anything—nearly sends the blonde into a frenzy.

But then Paige looks down at Dani, sleeping soundly in her arms, and the anger softens into something else. Relief. Gratitude.

Because Dani’s safe now. She’s not in that house. She’s not alone. Paige tightens her hold slightly, pressing a soft kiss into Dani’s hair.

It’s not enough—not nearly enough—but for tonight, it’ll have to be.

DANI STANDS on the sidewalk with Paige and Bob, the three of them staring at the house that used to feel like home. Now it feels like something else entirely—something hollow, suffocating, and cruel.

Dani hugs herself tightly, trying to ignore the way her chest tightens at the sight of it. She hears Bob’s steady voice beside her, low but firm, a grounding force she hadn’t realized she needed.

“In and out,” Bob says, his hand a reassuring weight on her shoulder. “You get everything you need, and that’s it. You never have to go back in there after this.”

Dani nods, her throat too tight to speak.

The morning had been a blur. Paige drove them to her house, Dani’s car still parked at Thaliah’s with the promise to retrieve it later. She barely had time to register the familiarity of the Bueckers’ front porch before Paige’s dad had pulled her into a hug—tight, warm, and safe. It was the kind of hug she hadn’t felt in years, and she melted into it, clinging to him like she was afraid she might disappear.

Paige must’ve told him everything already. Dani didn’t know how much detail Paige gave him, but it was enough to bring a protective light to Bob’s eyes when he looked at her. Enough for him to immediately agree that Dani could stay with them for as long as she needed. The relief she felt was overwhelming, but it was fleeting. Because now they were here, and she had to face the remnants of last night.

The front door creaks slightly as Bob opens it. The house is silent, but it feels like the walls are holding their breath. Dani steps in cautiously, every nerve on edge despite knowing her dad’s at work.

Bob glances at her, his tone gentle but insistent. “Go upstairs. I’ll stay down here, just in case.” He bends to pick up her photography bag from where it’s still lying on the floor from last night, slinging it onto his shoulder. “You two just get what you need. We’ll be out of here in no time.”

Dani nods again before she and Paige head up the stairs. Each step feels heavier than the last, the air thick with memories she doesn’t want to revisit. Paige is close behind her, her hand brushing lightly against Dani’s back in silent support.

When they reach her room, Paige touches her arm gently. “Let’s make this quick,” she says softly.

They grab two suitcases from the closet, Dani’s hands shaking slightly as she unzips them. Paige doesn’t waste any time, moving to the dresser and pulling out clothes, folding them neatly before stacking them in one of the suitcases. Dani busies herself with the bookshelf, grabbing journals, books, and anything else that feels important.

Her hands hover over a small stuffed bear, one her mom gave her when she was a kid. She picks it up hesitantly, running her fingers over the soft fur before placing it in the suitcase.

Then she sees the photo.

It’s a picture of her and her mom, taken on a trip to the lake years ago. They’re both laughing, her mom’s arm wrapped around her shoulders. Dani picks it up, holding it close to her chest. For a moment, she can’t move. Her mind spirals into the what ifs. What if her mom were still alive? Would any of this have happened? She doesn’t think so.

Paige’s voice pulls her back again. “Dan?”

Dani blinks, glancing over at Paige, who’s watching her with careful eyes. “I’m okay,” Dani murmurs, but she doesn’t let go of the photo. Instead, she keeps it tucked under her arm, making sure it’s secure.

They keep packing, working quickly and efficiently. Paige moves with purpose, her focus unwavering as she gathers Dani’s things. Dani feels a lump rise in her throat at the sight of her—Paige, who shouldn’t have to be here, shouldn’t have to be dealing with any of this, but is anyway.

When the suitcases are full, Dani takes one last look around the room. It feels emptier now, stripped of anything that made it hers. A part of her feels relief, but another part feels a strange sense of loss.

Her childhood is over.

Maybe that’s a good thing.

Paige notices her hesitation and steps closer, placing a hand on her arm. “Ready?”

Dani nods, even though she’s not sure she is.

They head back downstairs, where Bob is waiting with the rest of Dani’s things. He smiles encouragingly. “Got everything?”

“Yeah,” Dani says, her voice quiet but steady.

Bob takes one of the suitcases from her, leading the way to the door. As they step outside, Dani feels the weight in her chest start to lift, just a little. She glances at Paige, who gives her a small, reassuring smile.

Things are gonna be a lot different now.

But, Dani thinks, they may also be better.

[fan-a-tink]

Personal post, but seeing this gif loose in the tournament brought up some stuff and I just needed to get it out of my system.

This moment right here is the reason why this show has come to have such a hold on my soul. Before I watched a single minute of the actual show, I came across the YouTube video where Jayden & George break down the confession scene and it includes this snippet where Charles says "there's no one else, no one else" and I knew then I had to see this show and that I was going to love it.

A few years ago, I fell in love with my best friend and having carried this love quietly for a long time, I finally told them how I felt. It was one of the scariest but also bravest things I've ever done. I had realised that I was ace earlier that year and it took me a long time to work out where I fell on the aromantic spectrum. It was because of my friend that I could understand what being "in love" meant. For me, romantic attraction is all about that secret third thing, that incurable hope to mean something to the other, to be allowed to love them and care for them and be a part of their life not matter what. So when I told them about my feelings, I wanted to acknowledge how important they are to me. I wanted them to know how much they are loved, how important their presence and friendship is in my life. And yes, I guess what I was hoping for was to be just as important to them as they are to me. I was asking them whether they wanted to go through life with me, and let me go through life with them. And although their answer was similarly to Charles a "not yet" rather than a definite "no", it caused a hurt I have still not recovered from and I'm not sure if I ever will. At the end of the day, I was not a priority to them enough that they wanted to figure out what the rest means together.

So hearing Charles say that "there's no one else, no one else" does something to my heart every single time I watch that scene. Having been the Edwin in this moment, I cannot tell you how much Charles' response to Edwin's confession is an affirmation of their friendship, of the importance of their relationship, no matter how they define it. No matter who Charles has a crush on at the moment, there is no one else he would go to hell for. Edwin is the most important person in the world to him and that will never change. It's exactly the response I was hoping for from my friend, the response I didn't get, and hearing Charles say these words tore my heart in two and healed it at the same time. The entirety of the confession scene still does all sorts of crazy things to my emotions, but this is the moment that I cannot let go of, that I will never recover from.

Edwin and Charles mean the world to me because their relationship is the definition of the secret third thing, so devoted that the distinction between romantic and platonic looses some of its significance. They are "it" for each other, they choose each other over heaven and hell over and over again. They care about each other so much that being apart is the only thing they cannot endure. They can deal with whatever happens to them, as long as they are together. The one thing that they are both completely sure of is that there is no one else for either of them. Their relationship is what I had hoped to build with my best friend, and to see these two ghost boys get there has healed something in my heart and made me feel incredibly seen.

[stalkedbytrains]

The air this morning was crisp, cool, almost but not quite the first frost.

The kind of morning that was perfect for sitting on the bench on the porch and drinking a beautiful warm coffee.

The hero sat there, drinking their morning coffee, watching the sun fully pull itself out of the horizon.

From out of the forest came a tall, imposing figure. Their hands were covered in dirt and mud and leaves.

The figure stalked right up to the hero on the porch.

"Where did you go?"

"I was out in the darkest part of the forest burying my old stuff."

"Before sunrise?"

"Dark lords and dark deeds are best done before the sun."

"You're so weird."

"It's ritual. It just feels right."

"Go get cleaned up, there's coffee inside for you."

The former dark lord, smiled. A fun, mischievous smile. They advanced on the blanket covered hero.

"Oh no! Don't you come over here all covered in mud! Don't you dare!"

Their companion's voice dropped a few levels, in a way that could have been intimidating, sexy, or both. "But I am so cold. I desire your warmth. Give me your warmth."

They advanced on the hero, dirty hands out stretched.

"Noooo!" the hero cried in mock distress, barely containing their laughter, as they were enveloped by the large, built, dirty dark lord. They tried to fight off their old enemy, but it was a losing fight.

After a moment, the dark lord settled on the porch bench behind their hero, their arms wrapped around the smaller figure. Their cold and dirty body greedily drinking in the warmth of the hero.

"Mmm... warmth," the once evil overlord said as they kissed the exposed neck of the hero with cold lips. "I will take it all from you."

The hero laughed, reaching back to put their hand on the back of the villain's head to keep them close.

"Do you think they bought it?" the hero asked. "Do you think they're going to search for us? Do you think it's finally over?"

"It better be," the dark lord said. "We didn't give them any reason to suspect we're still alive. Our finale was a spectacle. But I suspect people will always be looking for you."

"But I don't want to be anywhere but here," the hero whispered. "With you."

"Good," the villain said as they tightened their grip around the hero's hips. "I want you to be mine and only mine. And I want to only be your's."

The hero grinned. "But you do know where you left your stuff. Just in case."

"Just in case. It'll come back if I need it. But we won't. Where did you put your stuff?"

"I just put it in the cellar. In a box."

The villain finally leaned away from the hero, putting some distance between them. "I can't believe I love you. You have no style, no panache, no gravitas. Your hero attire in a box in a cellar? How trite!"

"And what do you think I should have done? Placed my sword in a stone? Given my armor to some pair of stone golems that only talk in riddles and puzzles?"

"At a minimum."

"But then people might look for me even harder."

"Or they will accept that the mantle will only pass to the next hero when needed."

"Why? Do you think there is going to be another evil overlord, leader of darkness to replace you?"

"No one that will be as attractive as me."

"Don't flatter yourself," the hero said teasingly, but with a stolen kiss. "Now go get cleaned up, so we can have breakfast together. Like I've wanted to for a long time."

"And if I want to dine on... something else?"

"Oh! You..."

"I don't hear a no."

The former dark lord stood up, suddenly tightening their grip on the hero, lifting them with the motion and moving into the small cottage with delightful peals of laughter from the now retired hero.

------

For years it was good. Perfect.

The world had not needed their hero for a long time.

The reforms and changes they introduced meant there need not be a villain to challenge and destroy the system.

Until one day when the hero didn't come home.

The former dark lord knew immediately that something was wrong when the sun had set without the hero coming back home.

Such a thing was unthinkable. No contact or message. No, that wasn't something they would ever do.

There was a feeling in the air. The dark lord tried to deny it. It was just the winds of an early winter, even though they knew that wasn't the truth.

With a twitch, a movement that was a familiar one, a long unused bit of muscle memory, the pieces of the office of Dark Lord flew from their long ago buried tomb in the darkest part of the woods and joined their master.

Heavy, sharp, precise dark metal gauntlets that pinched a little at softened skin but quickly grew and changed and shifted to fit perfectly. The dark helm settled gently on their head, fitting perfectly like it used to so long ago. The cloak was covered in dirt and dead leaves, but that only added to the aesthetic of the thing. It wrapped itself around the dark lord in a cool, comforting, almost forgotten embrace.

The last of the dark lord's attire was assembled and it felt familiar and cold in a way that they had grown away from but couldn't entirely forget.

With everything they'd need they walked, trespassing through shadows, and locked doors, and forgotten ritual sites, until they found their way back to a place that used to be home.

A dark, foreboding, cold castle at the edge of the world.

It was occupied.

Someone was trying to take their mantle. And as far as they cared, they could have it.

But these kinds of people always had to do something showy to cement their power.

"Ah, I was wondering when I would hear-" the new villain said, but they were cut off as the previous dark lord immediately closed the distance and clasped a strong hand on their neck and squeezed.

"I understand the game. I know what you are up to. But this time it won't work. Because you clearly don't understand boundaries. You took something that belongs to me."

The new villain smiled.

"Oh old timer. Perhaps you forgot something as well. Dark can't fight against the dark. You have no power here. You're just old, out of shape, and soft. This will go quickly."

The dark lord laughs as the upstart pulled themselves free.

"Magic isn't a muscle, it's not something that can wither and die. It's a reservoir. And I still have magic to burn. So while I can't kill you with it. I don't need to."

They reached into the old cloak and from the darkness within it, pulled out something that burned like a star. They suddenly held on to a bright and blinding sword.

"This is my partner's. You return them to me and you won't feel the sting. Find some corrupt politician or king to execute to make your grand statement."

"But who better to cement my name than the death of the last great hero!"

The upstart villain never spoke another word. The dark lord cleaned off their partner's weapon, putting away with a careful reverence. They then went to rescue their love and return them home. Where they belonged.

i have a kofi if you'd like to tip me for doing stuff like this

The hero and the dark lord have both disappeared after their battle, making everyone think they both perished. In reality, they are living on a farm, living the life of their dreams.

[rhiannonsknife]

You mention vibrator play with (I think coworker!)rhiannon and oh my christ I'm such a sucker for that sort of thing- could we get an expansion on that please?? Tysm!! As per usual your writing continues to be phenomenally incredible please know that you're doing (sapphic) god's work ❤️❤️

-🔆

thank you so much 🔆 anon!! <3 nsfw content below. mdni.

now to vibrator play with (coworker!) rhiannon! there are so many different ways that this could go so let me elaborate…

coworker!rhiannon who’s also your girlfriend and who loves to watch you struggle from across the room...in the morning, while you're getting ready for work together, she’ll bring the idea up to you: you’re zipping up your pants when she wraps her arms around you from behind. rhiannon’s lips press against the back of your neck playfully but that’s not what catches your attention: what does is the cold feeling of something pressing against your bare stomach. before you can ask what it is, she already turned on the little bullet vibrator. “what do you think?” rhiannon murmurs against your skin from behind as she runs it up your body, letting you feel the vibrations on the lowest setting. she doesn’t have to explain herself; she’s brought the idea up enough times for you to understand what she’s planning.

coworker!rhiannon who stuffs it into your underwear once you’ve given her your consent and have come up with a safe word/signal in case she ever pushes you a bit too far. coworker!rhiannon who starts off tame enough. who, at first, only switches it on from her desk when you expect it: while holding eye contact beforehand or even as she’s standing right next to you. “how’s work going?” she’ll ask, and put a hand on your shoulder. yet when you’re about to answer, she flips a switch on the remote in her pocket, and allthe words you were about to say morph into a surprised gasp as you press your thighs together.

coworker!rhiannon who gets the hang of it after a while. once she’s figured out the different settings and how you react to them (which one makes you squirm the hardest in your chair or has you glancing in her direction desperately), there’s no stopping her: she’ll put on the lowest vibration during the entirety of a conference -not enough to make you cum, but just enough for you to be toeing the edge the whole time. or she’ll turn it up suddenly when you’re least expecting it; when you're about to get up for your break, forcing you to sit back down suddenly. she’ll watch you as you get closer and closer on the highest setting, white knuckle gripping the edge of your table, then turn it off at the last second...

coworker!rhiannon who catches you trying to sneak into the bathroom to get off while she’s refilling her coffee. who walks in on you attempting to touch yourself in there. who takes the vibe from you and presses it against your clit on the highest possible setting and keeps it there through multiple orgasms, until you’re shaking from overstimulation and need to hold onto her for support, biting down on your hand/her shoulder so that you won’t scream through the entire office floor.

but also…

rhiannon who ties you up on her bed (or the garage if she’s in a bit of a role-play mood…) and holds the vibrator against you until you’re a babbling mess, begging her to take it off or turn it down. if you really wanted her to stop, one use of the safe word would be enough. yet, you don’t. you want to be at her mercy, you want rhiannon to have her way with you until she decides that it’s enough.

or, alternatively: rhiannon who ties the vibe against your thigh and then leaves you there, with the toy buzzing weakly against your clit. she’ll go down into the living room to do whatever chore still needs to be done, or she will go out on one of her killing sprees. like this, she has something to look forward to when she stumbles back inside a long while later: covered in blood, she enters the house, instantly greeted by the sound of your desperate whines echoing from the bedroom…

[i-will-go-with-you-five]

My Five Lore

Heyyyyy I thought it was finally time to make this post! I've been doing ZR for about nine months now and have been posting from the sidelines so I figured it was about time to introduce myself and Five. Just a little rundown on what my Five is like and her story and stuff. She's basically me, but with a couple things changed.

Apperance:

She’s on the shorter side- Sam is always putting his elbow on her shoulder to annoy her but she secretly loves it :) And pretty stocky but really strong. Simon challenged her to a lifting competition once and while he eventually won, she had him sweating and it was a close thing. She wears her hair in really long double Dutch braids, and has a round face with bright hazel green eyes and a big smile. She also wears really brightly colored gear, especially shoes, its a long-lasting joke with her and the other runners. She's unreasonably attached to axes and baseball caps, and is pretty much constantly wearing something Jody made her.

She has a couple of pretty faint nicks and slices on her hands, from before the apocalypse. She got those was first learning to butcher as a teenager. But since the outbreak, she's gotten a stab wound on her left shoulder, and permanent bruising on her shins. She's very susceptible to shin splints, but its the apocalypse, so it's not like she can properly rest and treat them.

[One day I will make the most beautiful drawing of her ever. One day.]

Background:

Five is basically me, with a couple things (appearance, where she lived, some family details, etc) changed. She lived in Northern Montana, a stone's throw away from Canada, and was doing college remotely while working on a farm that raised big animals, and took care of her nieces and nephews while her siblings were at work. That's why she's such a jack-of-all-trades, with book and street smarts, she had a very diverse range of skills due to how she grew up. I consider Five as an AU of myself if I had been thrust into the apocalypse, so personality and history-wise Five and I are similar, except for the trauma of the apocalypse, where she was on her own for almost four months after Z-Day, and hardened her a bit. Five's real name is Lydia, but not a single person besides her knows that.

Early Outbreak:

She went on a rare vacation with her best friend, Nina, and her best friend's family to London two days before the outbreak, in early November of 2023. The worst timing. One day she's on a plane, the next she's seeing Big Ben for the first time, and the day after that hundreds of people have turned, including Nina's family, and they're fleeing for their lives in the chaos.

The plan was for the two of them to try and contact Lydia's family and try to find a way to get home, but the phone lines were all down within a day. So they decided to just get out of the city. Nina got bitten when they were on the outskirts of London, after a week of them surviving together. Lydia stayed with her as she died. Nina begged Lydia to kill her zombie-self, but Lydia just couldn't do it- she fled instead. She decided to kill her name, Lydia, along with her friend's death. It was the only way she felt that she could mourn.

She was then on her own for about four months, and her circumstances really changed her. She'd always been a a happy and trusting person, but each person she tried to group up with ended up betraying her, in a multitude of ways. She threw up mental barriers and became pretty grim and trusted no one. She can talk, but only to people that she likes, and only to one or two people at a time. The bigger the crowd, the quieter she is. But when she gets in a place of being comfortable, she has a lot to say. But in those four months, she said less and less, to the point where some people assumed she was mute. She had to stifle who she was in order to survive, and it took a huge toll on her. The pain of her bottled-up emotions was buried deep.

She's a Christian, and the only thing that kept her going in the apocalypse was clinging onto Christ with all of her might, even if her faith had been shaken by what seemed like the end of the world. She just kept running and fighting for something greater than herself. Save the next person stuck in a building, even if they stole her supplies. Run supplies to different groups of people, even if they then beat her bloody and left her for the zombies. Lead a pack of zombies away from a guy trapped in a tree, even if he then throttled her neck and made it even harder to speak. Give a message to a radio outpost, even if they then dishonored their side of the agreement and held her at gunpoint, rather than just attempt to send airwaves to the States in search of her family. Because if she couldn't do the right thing, and try to stay faithful to her values and Jesus, what good was left in the world?

She ended up at Mullins because, once again, she got betrayed. A group of highway robbers caught her unawares, and she literally ran into some soldiers, who promised to just help her get out of the tight spot, but instead brought her to Mullins and enlisted her. Sour and panicked, she was so uncooperative to the point where they shipped her out to Abel for Project Greenshoot so they wouldn't have to deal with her anymore.

Getting to Abel:

While the apocalypse has been The Worst Thing Ever, getting her helicopter shot down was probably the best thing that ever happened to her in the apocalypse. It was the last thing that she expected, a rocket launcher barreling towards her, after everything she's already been through, and it shook her. For the first time since when she had a depressive episode as a preteen, she just simply wanted to die. Death seemed like the best option as she fell through the air to the sound of hungry zombies beneath her. Everything hurt too much. God wasn't answering her sobbing cries of help every night. She'd given it her all and it still wasn't enough. Gave far more than she took and got hurt every time. If she gave up, everything would just be easier. She was about to accept her death and simply let go of life. It wasn't like she had any friends or family left to love her anymore.

But when that voice crackled into her headset, urging her on and giving her a name, Five, which felt right in a way she couldn't explain, encouraging her- she knew she had to keep going. Life wasn't over yet. There was still hope. So she ran. And the longer that voice, Sam, spoke, the lighter she felt and the less emotionally exhausted she became. A voice in the back of her mind told her that this was the answer to her prayers for a friend, and for help. But she was still incredibly cautious. This seemed like the nicest person in the world, but what if he hurt her? What if she got betrayed again? After all, she knew nothing of who this Sam Yao was, beyond being awkward and sweet and kind of adorable. Wait, adorable? Where had that thought come from?

She wanted to be mistrustful of everyone at Abel when she got there, that was her intent. Especially after the doctor threatened to not let her in. But having those people show her kindness that she hadn't seen in months crumpled her barriers like wet paper. By the time her 8-week training was over she'd sunk right into Abel perfectly. Jody was her good friend who was always up for a hug and a story, Janine was smart and practical and reminded her of her older sister to the point where she started to treat Janine like an older sister, Eugene was a goofball who made bad jokes with her while sympathizing with what she'd been through, and Maxine was a God-send for figuring out how to turn off her survival mode again.

And during that time, she wanted to become friends with Sam, the voice who saved her, so badly. But he was wrapped up in grief from Alice's death. Which she understood. Nina's death still ate at her. Not to mention having no idea if her family was dead or alive. So even though it killed her, because this was the first time she'd wanted to have a friend in forever, she kept her distance to protect him from her brokenness. Because even though she'd lightened up, she still was a woman of few words who held all of her pain back from everyone. Even if that voice in her head saying Sam was God's answer to her problems got stronger and more insistent every day. And even if Maxine told her multiple times that Sam relied on her more than he could express or she could realize. She had to hold back.

Being a Runner: falling for each other

Until the night run in the dark. [fanfic one shot here that will eventually become a twoshot once I finish the post-run debrief.] Where all that slammed through Sam's head was I need a miracle for Five, and all that slammed through Five's was I'm running for Sam. And the moment she crashed into Sam's arms, him sobbing with relief and her sobbing with exhaustion and delirium, was the moment that she realized that she did, in fact, love Sam Yao. And for Sam, that was the moment he realized that he had to become her best friend. And the rest of that night was the first time Five told anyone about her past and her pain and what the apocalypse had been like for her. And Sam was there. As they talked and listened to one another was the moment they firmly became best friends.

Five’s love for Sam only grows in the next few months. But… she doesn’t know what to say, or even think honestly. She’s never been in love before. Ever. She’s, well, she’s scared. Which she knows is stupid. But what do you even say about something like that? ‘Hey Sam, you've chipped away at the hardened exterior that I was forced to adopt bit by bit, and I've become myself again, and you push me to be even better than I was every day. Also I am totally in love with you.'? So she says it in every way besides words. With each moment with Sam. Each gesture is her way of saying I love you. And she runs. For the same reasons as before- her faith. Her trust in God. Her putting goodness back into the terrible world. But now for another reason too. For Sam. For his voice. And even if he doesn't understand it, how he pushes her to trust in her faith even more. Her faith and trust in God are stronger than ever now and she's very strong in it and tries to shine that light to others.

Sam realizes that he loves Five when someone sends Five to die out of spite, as revenge. She's coming back into the gates, angry but not as angry as he is. He's ready to throw down with the person who did that to his runner. Then the way she just grasps his shoulders, locking eyes with him, and reminding him to breathe, he just- falls. So hard and so fast. He knew that this was coming. He's felt it growing since she came back brandishing supplies with the biggest smile in the world for the DnD campaign he was starting. But he ignored it. And now he can't anymore. Because it's Five. His Five. But what do you even say about something like that? ‘Hey Five, you mean everything to me, actually. You've given me something to fight for each day, given me hope when I've had none, and have helped me grow so much and overcome my doubts. I really, really, really love you, more than anyone or anything.’ So he tells her with his words, with every single thing he says. Every voice crack of fear or excitement over comms. Except those three, which are coincidentally, the most important ones. He talks, for the same reason as before. To protect the people he loves. But now for another reason too. For Five. For her running. For who she's pushed him to become. How she's taught him to fight for something even bigger than before.

There is an ending for their story (its REALLY good) but you're just gonna have to wait to read it until I'm done writing it tehehehe! It's more climactic that way. I'll link it here when it's done.

And there we go! A little bit about my Five and her story <3 Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed!!

[phillietemple]

i’ve finally been able to collect some of my thoughts on the tour! under the cut if you want to read my yapping

- First of all we were really far away like almost all the way in the back of the balcony. We could still see the stage obviously but i couldn't really see their faces :( if i was doing it again i'd sit closer lol.

- The dolls were incredible. they really did all that

- Our conspiracies were toilet, clothes, tour bus and wedding which now that i've seen what the other ones are, i think was a pretty good combination. Tour bus was actually crazy like.. I mean i'm not too surprised that it was true but i AM shocked that they actually confirmed it! Like what!! I didn't even know about that conspiracy beforehand so yeah i was gagged

- They yapped for a minute about pizza. Phil hates cheese but loves pizza WHY it’s because pizza tastes like its own thing. One time dan PRANKED him by getting pizza with GOAT CHEESE on it and phil hated it. (phil’s wording lol, it wasn’t actually a prank) Also they said the best pizza they ever had was here in boston! And it had soy sauce on it apparently

- “Doesn't matter babe” did happen, i wasn’t sure if i heard it right but i was like “did he just say that?” i figured it was just part of the script but apparently not. I witnessed phistory

- They said “wang” so many times they LOVEDD the fact they were in the wang theater

- The fight was so funny i borrowed my friends binoculars for a minute so i got to zoom in on them slap fighting like 5 year olds and phil choking dan with a cable. why are they gay

- I SCREAMED when sister daniel came out like that was taylor swift levels of screaming from me. I knew that would happen but seeing her in the flesh was something else

- I appreciated how real they got. I think they balanced it with humor just the right amount but still went deep into stuff!

- the song was AMAZING it’s still stuck in my head and i’m gonna need that on spotify as soon as the tour is over. it was so clever to have it be from either perspective and the lyrics honestly made me cry!! but it was also such a banger!!!

This was kind of a schrodingers hard launch. They’re being open and honest about their relationship, but they also realize that a lot of the fun of the phandom IS the conspiracies and reading into things and the teasing. We have fun with it and they have fun with it, if they tell us everything then what’s left? It's like a sitcom that loses interest when the big will-they-won’t-they couple gets together. There’s a mutual understanding here, and the mysteries and intrigue are such a big part of the fun that we’re going to keep doing it. At least for now.

overall this show made me feel so happy to be part of the phandom. our parasocial relationship with them has been a rocky one, toxic at times, and at one point we thought it was so over but we are SO BACK. THEY LOVE US and WE LOVE THEM and we kinda need each other!! i’m so excited to see where they go from here.

[flowery-laser-blasts]

What are , your Head Cannon , for Drakken and Shego and , Kim and Ron :

Got lots of headcanons so I give 3 random ones for each: Ron - In Pre-K, Ron received a very colorful and glittery friendship bracelt from Kim. He wore it all the time but eventually got bullied for it by other kids. One day Kim noticed that he didn't wear it and thought it was because of the bullies, she decided to not mention it. The real reason why Ron didn't wear it is because the braceltclip broke off, causing the beads to fall everywhere. He spent an entire afternoon trying to find back all of the beads and repair the bracelet, but with his parents being to busy, he placed the beads in a little bag and kept it in his treasurebox underneath his bed, where it still remains till this day. - Ron is smart but it highly depends on what the context is. If you ask him to solve an equation, he'll be having a hard time. But the moment you ask him the same equation but make it sound like it has to do with "figuring out how many coupons I need for Bueno Nacho" or so... he'll solve it within moments. - Ron takes care of his nails and hands, especially since he's into cooking. He doesn't want anything underneath his nails nor does he want food to stick to him while preparing stuff. Hygene is no 1 priority when it comes to preparing food; eating food, however, is a whole different story. Kim - After the Zombie Mayhem tournament, Kim secretely continues to play the video game. She doesn't want to admit it but it was more fun than she expected it to be. She secretely trains in order to surprise Ron with a match someday. - Kim and Ron decided to dress up as Miriam and Jonathan for Halloween Trick or Treating and later on Kim reused the costume for her presentation on Miriam in college. - Kim has become less worried about brands over the years, especially after realising how dumb it was after people wore her mission outfit for a few days, only to jump onto the next best thing. She still is into looking into the latest fashion but thrifts it and tries to make it her own. Together with Monique they started upcycling clothes. Monique has her own business now. Drakken - After Graduation part 2. Drakken started working on improving the quality of the world rather than trying to take it over: Being praised for being a beloved saviour has better gloating perks than being a failing villain that has to hop from lair to lair. Though he does miss the thrill of villainy every now and then. So he sometimes does petty crimes like shoplifting a screwdriver from Planettool or anonymously blaming a fellow scientist for causing a chemical fire that resulted in a three months shutdown..., ...some tax evasion. - Drakken's scar was a result of eyebrow trimming - Drakken has a distaste for okra and bellpeppers and will pick those out of a dish no matter who prepared it. Shego - After Graduation part 2. Shego got tasked to train some of Global Justice's newest agents. She enjoyed it and eventually became an independent hitwoman for a while. After that she just decided retiring early is nice (especially with the money Drakken was making for both of them with his new job). She now does whatever... pretty much what she's always been doing. But also meets up with Kim and rekindled their sisterly bond in stop team go. - Shego is a horrible cook and either relies on someone else cooking for her or having take out/going to a restaurant. However after retiring early, she decided to try and get into cooking... a bit... the kitchen burned down. - Shego hates to admit it but the Snowman Hank song became an earworm. She hummed it once and noticed Drakken smiling widely from the corner of her eye.. or was that just her imagination? She doesn't dare to ask...

Hope it all makes sense. Still recovering from a cold so my typing isn't the most coherend at the moment :')

EDIT: I WISH TUMBLR WOULD STOP SCREWING UP THE COLORS IN THIS POST

[lunarleonardo]

reminding myself that i should be posting the Ideas i have in my head no matter how cringe they are. social anxiety healing or whatever idk i'll probably (hopefully) forget abt this post in 20 minutes anyways heres my warrior cats x danganronpa au i have growingly extensive lore for it

the shuichi and his uncle collection

Birchwhisker would be his uncle in this. Brightfeather is his mom. Shuichi himself, his name is Olivepaw (the v3's are all 'paws)

the yellow cat in the back is an oc of mine named daypelt btw, shes a really old warriors oc dating back to like... 2019 at the very least? not sure. she aint a dr character ignore her

the cat saiouma

Kokichi, otherwise known as Spotpaw, started as a rogue in a funney little rogue group. can't imagine who they'd be. He joins the clan cus he's interested in their life and also maybe DICE is like slaughtered idk im still figuring that one out. buuuut!! he does join the clan and as you can imagine it goes. great

kaito and kokichi rivarly persists. at first he's wary cus Spotpaw's an outsider, but eventually theyre only fighting just cus he doesnt fucking like Spotpaw LMAO (´▽｀*)

His name is Nightpaw btw. His grandparents are elders in the clan. They tell funny stories to the children and Nightpaw tells them facts about the sky and he never shuts the fuck up about how their warrior ancestors inhabit the stars. at the same time he is also freaked out of the idea of the medicine cats (hiii mikan!!) being visited by the ghosts of fallen warriors (´- `*)

and finally

Shuichi and Tsumugi. Had to get a little strange with the family lines because... warrior cats... but basically Olivekit and Threadkit were raised together as siblings. Unfortunately! Junko is very present! Under the name of Goldenclaw. Mukuro is here too btw her name is Blackstrike. I'd share their designs but i hit my 10 photo limit on mobile and im not getting on my computer for this. oh yeah abyway uhhh Threadkit is kind of Goldenclaw's kit?? Goldenclaw probably found her in a ditch somewhere and went "oh yeah i can make a legacy out of this". She makes her sister raise Threadkit under the guise that shes her biological kit, and because of that, Birchwhisker goes to her for help to raise Olivekit. blackstrike is not happy about this

It all starts out as one big clan run by Jin, who has...yet to be Warrior named. And for a while, they're the ONLY clan. Buuuut.... Junko is here. The SDR2 cast are here. it does not stay peaceful

I won't type it all out since I'm still figuring it out and also I want to post this before I back out from nervousness but basically, Junko-- Goldenclaw,, yeah she's feeling a liiittle rebellious. Despair rises. Civil war within the clan begins, and eventually, Goldenclaw and her (very brainwashed and manipulated) group split off from the clan to start their own. and then they go to war (((・・;) typical warrior cats stuff

Eventually the conflict ceases as Makoto takes leadership of the clan as Luckystar. And I think, in this world, this is how the 9 lives ceremony woukd start-- some of the cats killed under Goldenclaw's tyranny come back to revive him with 9 extra lives to defeat her. They discover some sorta moonstone/moonpool (i prefer the stone lowkey) during this story. the drama. thats the best part about warriors. the DRAMA.

ok that's all i think i got it out of my system. maybe i'll come back to this maybe i won't i dunno,, i have a bad habit of having an idea and then forgetting it a day later (；ω；) so. you guys get danganronpa battle cats instead of anything... normal. whoopsies

[bullet-prooflove]

@noxytopy I spent four years working/baby sitting a guy who had the illness. His family owned the company I worked for and because I was good with people and a calming influence they'd leave him with me to 'keep an eye on him' and they would never tell me when he was off his meds. I would realise because of his behaviour and notify them and they'd be like oh yea we know. I was put in a lot of unsafe situations because of this.

He had massive substance abuse issues and was highly erratic. When he did coke, which was often it would negate the effects of the court mandated medication he was supposed to have so he'd go into a spiral.

The other problem was, he was extremely clever so when they did get him sectioned and I mean lock down sectioned, he would escape because he would fashion tools out of stuff like the interior railing of a sliding drawer and use it to jimmy the window panel and leave through the window.

He had major issues with authority figures so he had multiple arrests for smacking police men. There's a shit load of other dangerious shit he did too but he always a avoided a prison sentence because his family really played up the mentally ill card (which he was) but they also enabled some of his behaviour too. By the end of my tenure there, they were completely at their wits end and just let him get on with it. When he was medicated he used to spend all day gambling, smoking and drinking fizzy drinks because he was in withdrawl from the coke. Noone really knew what to do with him because he didn't help himself even when he was in a more lucid mindset.

Because we spent alot of time together and I was a reasurring presence he came to trust me, so even when he was at the height of some of his delusions he'd be like I'm gonna give all this secret government info to you incase I go missing. The info was literally him typing on a message board he'd made to himself but he thought he was hacking the govementment and controlling the banks.

In a way it was endearing, but at the same time he presented a very real danger because he wasn't in control of himself, he'd come back from the bathroom high and I'd be like guys he's just done a line in the bathroom, his pupils are huge and he's telling me how he's travelling through a portal to kill Hitler do you wanna do something about that, like take him home? And they'd be like 'nah he's cool with you, we need to work on this proposal' - that I was completing anyway.

Wow typing this back is nuts to me back I didn't even realise the madness of some of the situations I was in at the time, it became so normalised. This isn't even half the insane shit he got up to.

Eddie Diaz - pumpkin 🎃 snake 🐍 heart ❤️

Tagging: @kmc1989 @gatefleet @tigolebittiez @mckinleysbones @totalstitchlover19

Companion piece to:

Box Breathing - Eddie's been struggling since Christopher left.

Always - You make a promise to Eddie.

Real - Eddie tells you he wants something real.

A Future With You - Eddie makes a realisation during a one on one game of basketball.

Cash - Eddie discovers your secret Instagram profile.

You have a thing about snakes, you always have. It’s an innate, bone deep, primal fear that alleviates all of your irrationally. Eddie discovers this when you open up an orange and black gift box with pumpkins on and you let out the most ungodly scream he’s ever heard. It echoes through the entire fire station as you hurl the box over the balcony and Eddie watches it hurtle through the air, the snake sailing out of the box before it completely disappears from view.

The look on your face in that moment, he’ll never forget it.

It takes them over two hours to find that snake nestled up against the hot pipe in the bathroom. You spend that entire time bundled up on the roof, refusing to come down until it’s been removed from the premises.

It’s Eddie that finally approaches you, Eddie that brings you his quilted jacket because the temperature is starting to drop and he doesn’t want you to freeze to death. You’re trembling when he drapes it around your shoulders and he knows that it has nothing to do with the cold.

“I had my ex sectioned last Halloween.” You tell him as you sit on a lawn chair, your hands wrapped around a fresh mug of tea that Buck had deposited by the door. “He was schizophrenic and when he was on his meds it was great but when he wasn’t…”

You trail off because you don’t want to go into all of that, the hallucinations, the erratic behaviour, the violence…

It was never intentional, always in the throes of a break, but the bruises the next day, the fear for your safety it was very real.

“One of his things was symbols, he used to see them in everything, clouds, puddles, oil stains. He also used them a lot, sometimes as love notes, sometimes as threats.”

“Is that what that was tonight?” Eddie asks you gently as he leans forward in his chair, studying you. “A threat?”

“No.” You say quietly, your thumbs tracing lightly over the glazed pattern on the mug. “Snakes, they mean eternal love. It’s his way of saying that he’s still in love with me, that he wants me to come home.”

“Is that what you want?” Eddie asks you, his voice a little rough. “To go back home, to be with him?”

“No.” You tell Eddie, your gaze flickering up to meet his. “You’re the only one that has my heart Eddie, you should know that by now.”

Love Eddie? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Interested in supporting me? Join my Patreon for Bonus Content!

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[indianatumbleweedjones]

I barely have any followers (I appreciate ya'll though) but here goes anyway

If this post gets 10 notes I'll make an effort to drink 60 ounces of water per day

If this post gets 15 notes I'll start writing more consistently (at least 15 minutes a day)

If this post gets 30 notes I'll start writing poetry again

If this post gets 50 notes I'll start drawing and painting more

If this post gets 100 notes I'll start getting 8-9 hours of sleep a night and having a consistent sleep schedule

If this post gets 500 notes by June I'll start my fantasy inspired etsy store that I've wanted to start for years but never have

[figofswords]

i love to cook and i love food! i love cooking and i love eating! i love making food and then eating it! wait what do you mean i have to do this three times a day every day for my entire life and also dishes and grocery shopping and

[rexscanonwife]

Concept sketch of my new JJBA self insert and her stand, BellaDonna (who will eventually be known as Madonna). Inspired by the song 'Like a Prayer' by...well, Madonna! @sapphire-heart-tippy

(lore dump under the cut, TW for mentions of animal injury and religious trauma)

My self insert (who will also go by Jane) grew up in a deeply religious family and tried to be a good jehovah's witness child that made her parents proud.

One day, she comes up with the power to heal various injuries and ailments, almost to the point of being able to revive the dead. She figures she's given this power by the lord himself and vows to do good with it, but when she's found using them to heal a bird that had been wounded by a cat, her mother falls into hysterics thinking that she MUST be possessed by the devil to have such abilities.

She's punished and shunned by her community while her mother prays for a cure and though she tries to repent her power doesn't seem to go away, so eventually her mother snaps and drags her into the wilderness and attempts to throw her to the bottom of an old well.

Her Stand, which had previously not manifested physically, appears then to cushion her fall and eventually she manages to pull herself out of the well with her Stand's help, who she now believes to be a guardian angel. But not wanting to return home, she runs away to face the world alone, growing jaded and bitter over time. She loses all of her faith, and the power to heal inverts itself, becoming a sort of poison. Something that LEECHES life, rather than heal it.

When she's an adult (my age irl so 25 I guess) she's made her way by becomes a bounty hunter/assassin using her Stand and eventually catches the attention of Dio. Who takes her in and explains to her what her Stand REALLY is, promising to teach her how to properly wield those powers if she agrees to serve him. She reluctantly takes his offer, but starts to see him as a familial figure, since no one else had ever tried to nurture or even accept her gift. Dio is the one who giver her Stand the name BellaDonna, after the deadly plant!

[triglycercule]

horror's about to get his shit rocked i guess but its ok he got to say a cool line. anyways i had this silly little idea :3 horror deserves to be the one inflicting pain onto killer sometimes anyways it can't ALWAYS be killer being sadistic 😒😒😒

[gothamsaved]

Iiiiiii get a little scared me going off on long tangents in replies will scare some rp partners away. On the other hand, I love digging into a muses thoughts and emotions and especially for someone like Bruce, he has a lot going on in there while he also doesn’t typically say much unless he’s out actively socializing. It’s a strange thing where I’m still trying to find a comfortable balance or way to write both the Bat and Bruce, while making them sound like the same guy and also different, without smacking my head into a wall and overthinking things too much.

[vaguely-concerned]

just going about my day idly contemplating how some of the ways hawke can interact with a romanced anders are not at all unlike how they interact with leandra (and a bit of carver too, especially with a purple hawke), and then thought about my hawke in the timeline where he romances anders and was hit straight in the face with 'was he ever actually in love, or was he just desperately trying to renegotiate with his mother's ghost in any way he could' and now i need to lie down. this is the power of dragon age 2