#fifth post woo I’m on a roll

[mikewheeler-anon]

Long haired mike or short haired mike may I propose bleached buzz cut mike?

[charles-leclerizz]

🏎️ ๋࣭ ⭑ flustered tweets

🏁 Pairings : Max Verstappen X fem!Reader

🏁 Warnings : suggestive sexual themes, touching, kissing, licking etc. no explicit content, swearing, Daniel Ricciardo being a menace.

🏁 Word Count : 3.3k words (3352 words)

🏁 Author's note : First suggestive conntent on this blog! woo-hoo, light the fireworks. But I do hope you enjoy and as always please leave a comment or reblog, since they do fuel my motivation. <3 Note that word dividers are by @cottage-writings and as always, translations are available via radio comm.

🏁 Music player : Love by Lana Del Ray

You smile to yourself as you stare at your television screen, the metallic box was currently projecting your boyfriend’s face, post-race, red faced and sweaty. Positively gorgeous. His blonde hair was mused due to his helmet and droplets of water leaked down from the strands to his forehead, trickling down his temple to his chin where they dripped down to his fire-proofs. It was nearing the end of the interview, and that meant his favourite questions would begin to pop up, the personal ones.

“So Max, how’s the missus doing? Based off her Instagram it looks like you both are very happy.” The man holding the microphone smiled at the driver, who rolled his eyes playfully at the memory of the multitude of stories that you would post by the hour, in fact he was 99% sure that you had posted at least 5 whilst he was in the car.

“Yeah well, it’s a dream being with her, it really feels like I’m on cloud 9.” He gushed, a rare occurrence for the notoriously grumpy man, but as soon as you were brought up in conversation, it was as though he was a wilting sunflower that was just introduced to sunlight, “I’m doing all of this for her.” Max admitted bashfully.

“Well, if that isn’t proof of the it couple on the grid, then I don’t know what is.” The interviewer admitted, grinning at the lovesick expression on your boyfriend’s face, “But before I let you go, the fans were in uproar a few days before the race. Based on a tweet made by a fellow driver on the grid.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, as if his humorous actions would jog Max’s memory.

You, on the other hand, knew exactly of the tweet Mark, as he introduced himself as, was talking of. It was tweeted by none other than Daniel Ricciardo, the cheeky bastard decided to divulge the fans with a tidbit of information about Max and your sex life.

Just walked into the 2-time WDC and his girlfriend doing it like bunnies. Somehow, this man is never embarrassed.

You remember that day like no-other, it was the moment after the Spanish Grand Prix and Max had just won.

“I’m so proud of you,” You breathed against his lips, holding his face between your palms as your fingers fisted his hair, close enough to the root that he groaned outwardly. The scent of victory wafted from him as one of your hands snaked down between the two of you to unzip his race suit. Allowing you to push him against the hotel room wall and move down to lick thick, wet stripes against his pulse point, revelling in the taste of fresh champagne.

“heilige shit,” he breathed out, gnawing at his bottom lip whilst the hands that rested on your waist tightened and bruised his fingerprints against your skin.

 “Geliefde.” Max whispered, bringing his left hand up to grip the nape of your neck and guide your face away from the fifth fresh hickey you were creating on his muscle, towards his own, gazing into your eyes with a heavy stare.

“Yeah?” You answer, blinking rapidly to clear the misty haze that overtook your brain, all you could think of was the delicious way that his suit hung low from his hips and how tight his fireproofs were, exaggerating his muscular pecs that strained against the protective layer.

His chest rose and fell rapidly as you scratched your nails lightly down his scalp towards his thick collar that stuck to his body, “Maxie?” You prompt, fluttering your eyelashes at him.

He chuckled at your act, wrapping a large hand around your neck and squeezing gently at the sides, just enough for you to gasp, “What do you think the press will say huh? My girlfriend got too horny watching me win?” He guided you towards the freshly made bed, pushing you down to a sitting position as your knees hit the back of the padded mattress, “It’s okay though, mijn mooie vriendin-“ He paused, moving his hand up to cup your jaw and pull at your lower lip, parting your mouth until you obediently allowed him to slip his thumb in, “I only do this for you.” He murmured.

Max nudged you further, watching contently as you fell onto your back, sinking into the thick blanket and released his thumb with a loud pop. You laugh a little at his proclamation, “Really? You do this for me?” You bite your lip, fiddling with the comforter beneath your fingertips, pushing off from the bed as you anchor yourself on your elbows.

“You doubt me?” He arches an incredulous eyebrow at you, bending down to part your knees, “dat zal niet lukken.” He murmured, getting down onto his knees to hook your thigh onto his shoulder, allowing him to twist his head and kiss the sensitive skin, “What should I do to prove it to you? Huh?”

Max chuckled as you slipped your hand beneath the waistband of your shorts, pushing them down suggestively and he would’ve given into your request had it not been for the interruption.

“HEYYY CHAMP-“The friendly boisterous voice of a certain Australian rang through your hotel room, causing you to jump and grip your boyfriends head, which had merely jolted slightly before coming to rest against your opposite thigh, uninterested.

“Daniel.” Max deadpanned, his cerulean eyes merely slackened, cracking a lazy smile as his friend stopped in his tracks, blocking the door from what seemed to be at least half of the grid, “Must you really bother me?”

“Sorry man,” you heard Lewis call out, chuckling loudly as a familiar French cackle sounded off after a lewd comment sounding like, “damn he’s pussy-whipped”. You whimpered with embarrassment, falling back against the bed as you covered your face, hiding the blotchy blush that covered your face.

“Max” You whined, twitching your leg so that he could get up and most likely go out to celebrate, “Get up, we can continue this later.” You assured him, already imagining the dress that you would wear.

“See what you did wankers?” He called out, barely lifting himself up, “Made my girl embarrassed.” He admonished his colleagues.  Max looked up at you, cooing at your red face, “It’s okay, Mijn liefje. I’ll get them to leave.”

“Guys lets go” Lando called out, “Let the guy get his dick wet.”

“Ew gross.”

“Not my fault you’re single fuck-face.”

You groaned, “Guys!” The crowd settled at the sound of your harsh, crackly voice, “It’s fine, let us at least get ready?”

“Yes ma’am” Charles shouted, which was soon followed with sounds of violence and pathetic groans.

Max kissed your cheek, getting up from the floor to go and slam the door in the few faces, but before you could hear the satisfying wood beat against the hinges, Daniel had whispered, “How the fuck are you not embarrassed?” Which prompted more snickers and a flurry of agreements about your lover’s lack of humiliation.

“You should be embarrassed ass wipe.” Max chuckled as he pushed the group out of the doorway, “Walked in on me about to get the best meal money could never buy.”

If you thought about it too much the humiliation would creep back in, along with the curiosity.

Later that same evening, when your friends and you had gone out for dinner, your face was still flushed and any thought that led back to that moment in the hotel room would lead to you shaking your head promptly and diving back into conversation. Whereas Max was comfortably seated next to you, chatting happily as he sipped more alcohol from the flute by his porcelain plate whilst his free hand rested on your thigh, slipped underneath the silky material of your sundress.

It was as if the moment never happened and he was already fantasising about getting you back into the room, ready to bend you into different positions that would make your legs shake hard enough into next Sunday. He did infact, manage that.

Max laughed on your television screen, turning to look at Daniel, who was animatedly doing his own interview, “Yeah well, it’s hard to embarrass me,” he inhaled sharply through his teeth as he shrugged nonchalantly, “It really was just an inchident.”

Max winked cheekily at the camera as Mark laughed and patted his shoulder, “Nice to see Max, have a good one,”

“You too,”

You huffed out with amusement as you pointed the remote at the screen a certain calm filling the apartment as the light blinked away from the box in front of you. The sun was slowly setting on the streets of Monaco, a subtle signal that meant that your boyfriend would soon be returning home to you. Max would claim that home was where you were, but you could tell that the large penthouse was probably the closest alternative to the driver, it was a joint investment as a couple, the first of many and it was beloved by both of you.

Large windows that overlooked the high-end shopping district which curved with the positioning of the building, an oblong shape that influenced the soft edges of the entire apartment. The home was out of your Pinterest board, soft plush coaches and tall glass vases that littered every free surface, Max had claimed 2 of the 4 bedrooms, one of them being his office and the other being his specialist home gym. The third was saved for guests and the fourth, that resided on a separate floor; took over the entire area and was your shared bedroom. Luckily on his and your salary, the home was merely a drop in the ocean, along with the numerous pretty pennies you spent on furniture.

It was in other words, your baby.

Jimmy and Sassy slinked between your legs as you walked to the kitchen from your spot on the largest couch that was turned inwards to face the TV that was mounted within the ceiling, dropping down mechanically at the push of a button and retreating into the seemingly solid concrete at another. You had done exactly that, dismissing the piece of tech to show off the full-length balcony. Cooing at your fur-children you picked them up in one hand, “Come on guys, let’s finish dinner,” You kissed their heads, chuckling as they nuzzled into your face before letting them down on the floor in front of the sink when you went to put on a pair of gloves and fish out dinner from the oven.

The tell-tale chime of your elevator and the mechanical tone of the keypad informed you that Max was home, along with the cats going off to welcome their father from a long day of work,

“Hey guys,” you heard him greet the children whilst he kicked off his shoes and tucked them along with his jacket into the small cupboard that sat within the wall in the entrance hall. You turned away from the oven, placing the entire grill onto the kitchen island as you huffed happily at the dish within the Tupperware as Max walked further into the house and towards the kitchen, where you stood patiently, the soft sounds of the Vitamin String Quartet playing in the background.

“Hey, schat,” He murmured, eyes softening at the corners as he rushed to your side, tugging you away from the counter to wrap his hands around your and bury his head into your neck. You giggle at the tickle of his hair against your skin and bring your hands down to cover his that were wrapped around you, “Hello my love,” you whisper, turning your head slightly to kiss his forehead.

“You cooked,” He stated happily, smiling against you.

“I did.”

“I’m happy,” He confirmed, removing himself from your neck whilst keeping a firm hold on your waist, “How was work?”

“Same old same old, people want to invest in stocks, I do it for them. Very boring.” You rush through your day, recounting the odd events that went on in the office, “But I saw your interview, watched it on the archive.”

“Hmm,” He hummed, knowing that when you do watch the interviews, you normally do it to hear his voice and see his absurdly attractive post-race glow, not listen to the odd mechanical language and repeated statements of, “-push the car harder next race.” Or “-really disappointed this time.”

“Heard what you said about that tweet Daniel made,” You feel him kiss the skin behind your ear before snorting.

“What else could I say? Man doesn’t think before tweeting.” Max grumbled.

“Made me think-“

“Oh no.”

“Stop it.”

“Okay,”

“Anyway, made me think that I actually have never seen you blush.”

“I’m sure you have,” He assured you, untangling himself from you to get a chilled water bottle from the fridge behind you. You twist your body around, leaning back against the counter to watch his movements with squinted eyes.

“Hmm,” You tap your chin for a few seconds, “Nope, never.”

“Schat, it’s been almost two years,” He paused to crack off the top of the bottle, “I am positive you’ve seen me blush. And even if you haven’t, it’s no big deal.”

You huffed and crossed your arms childishly, “But I’m your girlfriend!” You reached out with your hands to grab his own slutty-man waist.

“Thanks for the reminder, had het anders niet geweten,” Max chuckled, allowing you to pull him by the waist to rest his abdomen just above yours.

“It’s a big deal Maxie, I’m meant to be able to make you blush,” You pouted up at him, scratching your nails up his spine, grinning as he shivered against your hold.

He took a final gulp from his bottle before minutely shifting to press harshly against a cupboard to reveal a hidden bin that popped out at his commend. Max dropped the empty plastic into the metallic cylinder and pushed the sliding contraption in again. He turned back to you, focussing on your large unblinking eyes and wet, pouting lips.

He held your face tenderly, kissing your forehead with his own, “S’okay schat, somethings just aren’t meant to happen.”

You pull away at his statement.

Like hell it won’t

“Nope, that won’t do,” You tug at his arm, guiding him into the separate dining room, a large area that was painted an off-white creamy colour, containing a brass sputnik chandelier that hung low against the white marble dining table which had at least 12 separate chairs tucked beneath its oval body. You pulled at the upholstered chair and dug your hand into the tactile Borg fabric before seating Max, who patiently trailed behind you whilst holding the separate doors open, allowing you to execute your plan perfectly.

You stood in front of the man, who was sat with his legs spread graciously in front of him with his large palms splayed against his slightly-less than normal skinny jeans. It was going to hard, yes. Harder than a diamond heist, to extract the long sought over blush from this well practiced stoic man. But you were determined.

Starting easily, you planted your hands on the arms of the chair and leaned forward, close enough that your noses were touching and lips ghosting over each other’s.

“What about this?” You whispered, eyes fluttering closed as you could begin to feel the small grooves and indents of his lips against yours along with his tongue licking at your bottom lip.

“Don’t think so, love.” He murmured back, laughing heartily when you groaned and pushed at his chest.

“Ok that’s it, take it off.” You folded your arms, tapping your foot impatiently.

“Woah, at least buy me dinner first?” Max’s eyes widened as you growled playfully and tugged at the hem of his branded red-bull shirt, “O-Okay okay, chill out you horny demon.”

“Good,” You huff, undoing the buttons of your light blue shirt, until you stood in just your bra and a long pair of silky lounge-wear pants, “We aren’t leaving here until you blush at least once.” You promised him, grinning manically when he stared at your chest.

You re-started once again, barely brushing your lips against the shell of his ear, smiling to yourself when his breath hitched and he groaned, “Anything?” You breathe out, licking slowly, lustfully at the sensitive skin between his ear and the nape of his neck.

“No,” Max denied, squeezing his eyes shut when you took the skin of his collar bone between your lips, sucking lavishly until you were sure of a dark blue love bite before moving inwards, littering the pale canvas with your marks.

“Come on Maxie, you know you want to,” You crooned moving further down, until your face was between his pecs and your hands were braced against the muscles, you dug your nails into his skin before dragging them slowly downwards whilst keeping your eyes locked with his, waiting for the victorious rosy tint to paint his face.

No luck.

“Maybe we should just give up? I can think of a lot of things I can do,” He just barely moaned out from between heavy pants whilst your mouth had made its way to his navel, leaving a wet trail in its wake. You shook your head slightly, flicking your eyes down to where your tongue lay flat against his stomach, “Are you fucking kidding me?” You complained, biting his abs.

“What? I can’t help it,” He defended, holding his arms up innocently before clenching his jaw shut when you began to fiddle with the button of his jeans.

“Yeah?” You challenge, getting up from the tiled floor to swing one leg to one side of his waist while the other sat on the opposite side, allowing you to straddle him and sit directly on his crotch whilst raising an eyebrow at his rolled back eyes.

“What about now Maxie?”

You winded your hips once. Twice. Until he came to hold your love-handles with a tight, possessive grip. Max leaned up, capturing your lips in a heated kiss, you whimpered when one of his hands slipped beneath your pants to snap the elastic of your underwear.

You pulled away, burring your hands in his hair and letting the soft strands flow through your fingers, “What about now?” You murmur, pushing yourself against his palm whilst arching your back. He hissed, smirking at your determination.

“Nope.” He removed both hands from your body to fold them behind his head and lean back, “Now what, schat?”

You slumped down and pulled at your bra strap contemplatively, “Dinner.” You stated simply, clambering out of his lap.

“That’s what I tho- wait why are your clothes on?” He asked you incredulously, pointing at the significant tent in his jeans.

“Max Emillian Verstappen I put a lot of effort into dinner tonight,” You scolded him with your pointer finger as you slipped on your shirt, leaving the buttons undone.

“W-what the-“ He spluttered reaching for your hand, “Seriously don’t do this,” he whined, adjusting his jeans with an uncomfortable expression.

“That’s what you get.” You shrugged, leaving him in the dining room, not before you bent down in front of him- swaying your hips suggestively as you collected his shirt from the floor and throwing it at him, “Don’t come out without your shirt on.”

The door slowly creaked shut, leaving Max still shirtless, flabbergasted at his inability to blush.

Well, not really.

He groaned loudly, balling up his shirt to hide the angry red flush that creeped up his cheeks and took over the entirety of his chest, ears and neck.

“HAH!” You called out, re-emerging from the door with a bang, “I KNEW IT.” You had your phone in your hand, displaying a perfect picture of his flustered state, the blonde was buried within his team’s shirt and was very obviously scarlet, “NOW THE WORLD WILL KNOW!” You shouted victoriously, jumping up and down in your spot, shirt still unbuttoned.

You squealed when Max jumped and growled at you, “Get back here, I’ll give you something to tweet about.”

📻 Kcccchh.... come in.... come in...translatiion available...over

📻 Kchh...Dutch....to english....over

heilige shit - Holy shit

Geliefde - Love [r]

mijn mooie vriendin - my beautiful girlfriend

dat zal niet lukken - that won't work

Mijn liefje - My darling

schat - Darling/Love/Babe [term of endearment]

had het anders niet geweten - wouldn't have known otherwise

[plathfiles]

Super Freak

[ young Remus Lupin x reader ]

originally posted on my Wattpad @accioremu https://www.wattpad.com/user/accioremu

"Tonight is the night I get Lily Evens," James insisted to all of you. You and Remus were curled up together on the couch, him playing with your hair. Sirius was lounging on the chair and Peter was on the floor playing Wizard chess by himself.

You laughed under your breath at James's statement, "And how exactly do you know this, Prongs? I know your not passing divination," you joked, causing the rest of the boys to laugh under their breath. "Ha ha, Y/n," James nodded, sarcastically.

"Okay but seriously, what's your plan?" Remus asked. James cleared his throat, "Tonight at the Gryffindor party, I will woo her with my scholastic aptitude's," he smiled.

You could tell he didn't really know what he was saying, but you knew how genuinely he felt about your best friend so you offered some help.

"Okay...before you do that, I can talk you up to her. Her, Marlene, and I were going to Hogsmeade today anyway." You said. James appreciated the help, knowing that he would need it, if he wanted Lily Evens attention.

Kissing you goodbye before meeting Marlene and Lily, Remus tucked some of your hair out of your face. "Have fun," he smiled, not being able to take his eyes off of you. It was always like that, he was always admiring you. You chuckled in response, "I will," you replied.

"Y/n, let's go it's freezing!" Marlene yelled as Lily gave her a light shove. You looked back at them, letting out a giggle. "Okay Rem, I should go," you said, kissing him on the nose.

You pulled away, but Remus kissed you one last time before leaving. "Don't have too much fun, love," he joked. You nodded, then turning around to Lily and Marlene.

"Finally," Marlene joked, nudging you on the shoulder. "Oh hush, she and Remus are so cute together," Lily defended. You blushed, then looking at your two best friends. "You know Lily, if you give James a chance we could double date," you inquired.

Lily blushed, then focusing her gaze on the town. "You know how I feel about James, Y/n," Lily said. You rolled your eyes, "If you mean in love, then yes, I know how you feel," you smiled. Marlene let out a laugh as Lily shook her head, smiling.

"Did James put you up to this?" She asked. You knew that she was smart enough to catch on, especially when she knew that James liked her. "Yes, he did! I think you should give him a chance and Lil's, I'm not saying that because he told me to. I'm saying it because you both look cute together," You explained.

"Kinda like Y/n and Remus," Marlene pointed out, making Lily gawk in disbelief. "You too!" She said. Marlene laughed, "Awe come on, give him a chance, you know you want to," she joked. Lily sighed, thinking about what she would do. Then the two of you continued to Hogsmeade.

Later that night, the party was in full swing. Sirius was drinking like a fish, while flirting with a group of fifth years. James was passing out drinks, as Lily and him would casually make eye contact with eachother from time to time. Peter, was also passing out drinks, wanting desperately to be as cool as James.

You and Remus were seated near the fire, a glass of fire-whiskey in your guy's hands.

Looking over to the sea of people, mostly Gryffindors...you spotted a nervous Lily walking over to James. "Oh my god, she's going to do it," you mumbled. Remus, entranced by playing with your hair, looked at you confused, "Who's going to do what," Remus replied.

"Lily, she's making her way over to Potter," you said, sitting up to get a closer look. As you got up, Sirius drunkenly walked over to the two of you. "So you talked to her?" Remus asked.

Sirius looked to you, "Yes, go match maker Y/n!" He said, stumbling. You laughed under your breath as you saw him pass out. "Man, he is going to hate missing this," you joked. "Yeah well it's probably best they aren't interrupted anyway," Remus replied.

You couldn't believe it, Lily had actually taken your advice and Marlene's probably helped to. Speaking of, Marlene seeing Lily approach James, grabbed Peter by his robes to walk him over to where you guys were.

"Hey, we miss anything?" She asked. You shook your head. "No there just talking," you replied. "At least they aren't fighting," Remus said. You nodded, they did have a tendency to bicker. "Sirius is going to be sad he missed this," Peter said, shaking his head.

After seeing them talk for a while, they eventually left the portrait hole. "Wow," you said. "Yeah," Marlene replied, just as in shock as you. "Alright, it's getting late and the life of the party is already passed out," you said, pointing to Sirius and thinking it would be a good time to call it a night.

"I'll put Sirius to bed. Peter, help me," Remus said. Peter nodded, getting up off the floor. Before walking over to Sirius, Remus walked over to you. "Stay out here, yeah?" He questioned. You nodded, kissing him on the cheek. Remus and Peter picked up a passed out Sirius, walking him up to their dorm room.

You and Marlene took out your wands, then beginning to clean up the common room. Everyone groaned, knowing the party was over. Some went back to their common rooms and others lazily walked up their dorms. "I'm guessing you staying out here for Remus?" Marlene asked.

You nodded in response. "Okay then, don't stay up to late, Y/n/n," Marlene said. She then walked up to the dorm room that you, Lily, and her shared. You sat down on the couch, waiting for Remus and thinking what James and Lily were doing right now. Feeling some one take your hand, you turned to see Remus sitting down next to you. "I'm back, love," he said.

"So why did you want me to stay behind?" You asked. "I wanted to give you a proper goodnight," he said, leaning into kiss you. You kissed back, the kiss getting extremely heated. After a few minutes of making out on the couch, you both heard the portrait door open.

"Shit! McGonagall?" You whispered. Remus didn't know who else it could be and knew that the both of you were sure to get busted.

Looking up and over the couch your let out a breath of relief. "Thank god, it's just you two," You said, seeing James and Lily.

Remus sat up from on top of you and James raised his eyebrows. "Worried we were McGonagall?" He joked. Remus playfully glared at him, "Yeah, we did," he replied, getting off you.

"So where did the two of you go?" You asked Lily. Lily blushed, walking up to take James hand, "We talked," she replied shortly, giving you a 'we will talk later' look. You nodded understandably.

“Well, Lily and I are going to head to bed," you said, now fully off the couch. You kissed Remus goodnight, mumbling the usual "I love you," to him.

The rest of the night, you, Lily, and Marlene talked about Lily's night with James. As the four boys, talked about the party, Lily, and you.

[mikmikisnotcrack]

Dance to This

Bambam x Reader

Summary: One Saturday evening, after one too many shots with Jackson Wang, you end up dancing with Bambam in Mark’s kitchen.

Warnings: None

A/N: hi it’s ya girl Mikmik. I haven’t written in quite some time, so I’m a little crusty. Please pardon me if it’s not up to a good expectation! Will post part 2 soon!

Recommended listen: Dance to This - Troye Sivan ft Ariana Grande

It was another saturday evening with your best friend. It was the night after the last midterm, so you guys decided to celebrate by attending a mutual friend, Mark’s, party. After all, you guys worked your asses off just to ensure you were at least passing. But that was all over now, so it was time to let loose and party. 

The house was dimly lit, and the only source of light were the LED lights that flashed in different colors every now and then to the beat of the song. People were packed in the house, dancing, grinding, interacting with each other, just living their best lives. Wearing your best  party outfit, a cup in hand, you and your friend were swaying to the beat of the song in the living room.

“I feel like I haven’t gone out in months! This feels great” Your friend says as they hop to the song.

You let out a small “woo” in agreement, putting your arms up as you dance along with them, ignoring the liquor that spilled over the cup. That’s a future you problem.

 “So, any plans for tonight?” Your friend winks at you “Y’know, a little birdie told me a certain Thai boy is here tonight.”

You rolled your eyes “Wow I didn’t know Ten was here. Or is it Nickhun? I haven’t talked to him in a while.”

Your friend smiles, facepalming “Haha very funny..I cannot with you sometimes. Keep denying it babe, we both know who I’m talking about”

Yeah, you knew exactly who they were talking about. Bambam was a good friend of yours, you met him almost a year ago at the very same party you were at now. You two got incredibly close over time, you were almost separable, to the point where people thought you were basically dating. Honestly, you’d get why. You would sit on Bambam’s lap, you two would lean on each other, hold each other’s hands when walking, sleep together, really the only thing you need is an official title. But the thing is, you didn’t. That’s when things got a little awkward between you two. You would still hang around each other, after all, you’re still in the same friend group as him. There’s just a  hint of awkwardness if you squint hard enough. It didn’t get any better when Jackson, another mutual friend, groaned and asked “Jeez why won’t you two just date?” While you sat in Bambam’s lap during a movie. That’s when it really got awkward. You two would stop showing each other signs of affection except for occasional greeting hugs, and your conversations would die as quickly as it was started. After all the awkwardness, you kinda just stopped going to him and Jackson’s apartment even if Jackson wanted to hang out with you. That started about three weeks ago.

You paused from dancing for a moment, looking up to the ceiling, tapping on your cheek, “No I don’t think so” You retort back to your friend. 

“Uh yeah, sure keep pulling the ‘Bambam who?’ card, [Y/N], you can’t avoid him forever” Your friend says as they take a sip of their drink. You sighed, they were right. As much as stupid Jackson made it worse, you two were the ones who refused to talk to each other in the first place. You very much miss his dumbass antics. And it was only a matter of time before you had to eventually face him.

“What about Bambam!” A familiar voice exclaims, popping out of the crowd of people and slinging his arm around you. You did not have the energy for this boy sometimes.

“Go away Jackson” You teased, taking another sip of your drink as you try ducking away from his arm. In which, you fail to do so.. 

“[Y/N] over here refuses to talk to Bambam  after the awkwardness that those two idiots caused” Your friend says, shrugging as they emptied their cup “I’m gonna get another drink, do you want one?”

“No, It’s okay, you can go ahead and get one” You respond, holding a hand out. Your friend shrugs their shoulders, and pushes through the crowd of people into the kitchen, you then turn to pay attention to Jackson.

“Aish, here you go again.” Jackson groans “You’re s--”

“Yeah yeah ok, we get it, I’m a big pussy, this situation could’ve been handled a lot better had I not been a big pussy, are you happy, Seunn?” You grumble, cutting Jackson off from his teasing.

“Sheeeesshh, okay.” Jackson put his hands up in defeat “What friend do you take me for? I am distraught that you would think of me in such manner. I was going to say that you’re going to get wrinkles if you keep furrowing your brows like that. Tsk tsk tsk [Y/N], such a young-”

“You know what Jackson Wang--” You raised your fist at him. Not that you were actually going to hit the guy, have you seen his body? That punch would do nothing. He backed away though.

“Ok, it’s bad, but y’know what? Papa Jackson is here to help!” He exclaims, grinning at you 

“Ew, did you just call yourself p--”

“LETS GO GET SHOTS!”

And that’s how you ended up standing by the bar in the backyard with people circling you and Jackson. You were very much tipsy at this point as you and Jackson went shot by shot by shot. You took a look at Jackson, who you watched take his fifth shot. You were not about to lose to Jackson motherfucking Wang. Shaking your head as the crowd around you chanted “SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS!” You weren’t going to let the crowd down now, are you? With a sharp inhale, you take in three more to hit  your sixth shot. 

You slammed down the shot glass on the table. “BRING IT, WANG” 

Jackson- being Jackson- threw off his snapback, unzipped his jacket, screamed and turned to the crowd with his arms wide open. The crowd of people went wild as he turned to you and pointed right at you. “Try me,” He says. And with that, you both kept going.

 Somewhere between your eight or ninth shot- you lost track at this point, all you knew was that you were fucking drunk- you heard a voice in the crowd calling for you. “Oh my god [Y/N]”

Still mid-shot, you turned to the voice and saw Bambam, his brows furrowed as he walked towards you. He held your forearms, preventing you from taking another shot “What on earth are you doing?” He asks.

“Trying to beat Jackson” You slurred, tilting your, probably, tenth shot to take a sip “I’m not letting that loser beat me”

“[Y/N]... Look at Jackson right now.” You turned round and saw that somewhere in between your recent shots, Jackson had ended up ditching the bar and climbing on top of the pool waterfall. At this point, the crowd that surrounded you already gave their attention to Jackson. The crowd cheered Jackson on as he yelled something in the mix of Chinese, Korean and English and backflipped into the pool. “Your competition is absolutely wasted”

“I won? I won! SUCK IT, JACKSON WANG!”

Bambam hissed, shaking his head as he dragged you back inside to the kitchen. He shooed away a drunk person off the bar stool and ushered you to sit down. Bambam walked over to the fridge and out a pitcher of water and filled a cup that he had found. 

“What the heck were you thinking doing shots with Jackson, of all people?” Bambam sighs, handing you the glass of water.

"I just needed to get my mind off of thinggsss, the usuaaall" You slur. Bambam clicks his tongue, his brows furrowed.

His eyes stared at you, concern written on his face. He already knew what the things were. “It’s okay thouugh, now that you’re here.” Bambam sighs. 

“You should sober up, I don’t want to talk to you in this state.” You shake your head, taking a drink out of the glass. 

“But I don’t want tooo, being drunk is funnn.” Bambam  sighs, once again, as you put the glass of water down on the counter beside you. He reached forward to give you the glass once again, but you stopped him as a familiar beat started playing through the speakers.

Young ambition...

Say we'll go slow but we never do...

“Ah, sober later! Dance with me Bammie” You stood up from the chair, grabbing his arms and pulling him closer to you. 

Bambam’s ears burned as he felt your body on his. He was normally used to this kind of skin to skin contact, but ever since you two drifted, thoughts of being romantically with you filled his head. “I-I don’t think u-h..” He stammered, looking for words to excuse himself before he made the situation between you two worse. 

You pressed a finger to Bambam’s lips, leaning in closer to his face “Let’s talk later, I wanna dance.” 

All the sudden, all the people in the kitchen started disappearing around you two. The colors of the LED lights seemed to make the atmosphere in the room even more seductive as they changed colors to the beat. 

Bambam placed his hands on your waist as you two danced to the beat of the song. You pressed Bambam further against you, wrapping your arms around his neck. The tension between you two grew as you grinded on each other. Your body pressed on his, absentmindedly grinding on him sent so much heat to his body it drove him crazy. Your hands trailed down his exposed chest, sending tingles up his spine. How could you do the bare minimum and make him feel like this? As if you weren’t already driving him crazy, you leaned closer against him and pressed a kiss to his neck. 

Bambam let out a small sigh. God, he really wanted to kiss you there and then, but there was so much awkward tension between the two of you, and you were clearly drunk, he didn’t want to take advantage of your drunken state. So much was running through his head, he didn’t realize that he had stopped dancing.

“Hey Bam?” He hummed in response. “What are you waiting for?” 

Here he is again, searching for answers in his head. “I-”

“Just kiss me already”

“Ah… fuck it”

Oh, yeah, under the kitchen lights...

You still look like dynamite...

And I wanna end up on you..

Oh, don't need no place to go..

Just put on the radio...

You know what I wanna do..

[waldenweave]

It does not seem like I last posted only two weeks ago. It seems like maybe six weeks ago. Staying at home…working from home…not leaving the house…all this seems to be playing with my sense of time. Which might not be a bad thing? I like routine, to be sure, and schedules are important so that I actually get things done, so I am so grateful to be able to work from home. But not having the same routine I’ve had for years is making me pay more attention to the detail of the overall shape of my day. It’s interesting.

In any case, I’m still on the Bread Experiment. Guys, I have baked some really awful bread. The first couple loaves were okay. The third loaf was pretty good. The fourth loaf had holes so large, not even cheese stayed on. There was more empty space than bread in that one. The fifth loaf was so bad, I think I’ve eaten maybe two slices from it, and it’s still on the counter and no one else has touched it. (It’s going out for the birds tomorrow.) And then….!

Yesterday, after a few days of No Bread and Extreme Frustration at Baking, I decided to try again. I had mixed some leaven the night before and I left it until late morning to use any of it for a new loaf. This time, I replaced 50g of AP flour with some coarse ground rye, because…I dunno. I’ve heard that rye is good at promoting starter growth, it’s got good microbial stuff. So, okay. I thought maybe this would help my dough and the finished crumb. The result was a very, very wet dough, because, I suspect, the rye didn’t absorb as much moisture as the AP flour, and I didn’t know this would happen because I am a Bread Baking Newbie. I stretched and folded, but not really according to any set schedule, just as I thought of it. And when about 7:00pm rolled around, I decided it was time to bake it. I very gently folded and shaped the loaf. OMG so carefully and gently. And because it was so very soft, I put it in a Dutch oven and ended up having to snip the dough with shears rather than score it. A razor blade won’t even do it. This dough was so wet, I was pretty sure it wasn’t going to amount to an edible loaf at all.

BEHOLD! Pretty liquid-like dough. And the resulting loaf was not at all what I had expected. This time, the holes are small enough to not let much Nutella or brie drip through!

I tell you, I was so surprised. My housemates have practically showered me with compliments.

This is today’s loaf. So, because the last one was so wet and I have not been able to score any of the loaves properly even with a razor blade, I thought about adding more flour or reducing the water. For this one, I reduced the water by 50g, and boy was it dry. But this one was started last night with leaven I had started yesterday morning. I think I managed to stretch and fold once before bed (so. dry.), and then I just put it in the fridge until this morning. Miraculously, the dough was so much nicer and Not Dry. (Not sopping wet either, though.) Then, sometime this morning late, I started stretching and folding, again without any set schedule. I think there might have been an hour or so in between S&Fs, and after four times, I just stopped. About 4:30ish, I shaped it very gently, preheated the oven, and put it in the Dutch oven. Still unable to score it – argh! I wanted a firmer loaf so I could score it! Why is it not firm enough? – I snipped with kitchen shears and put it in to bake. Today’s loaf is on the left in the picture above, compared with yesterday’s loaf on the right. It’s a little lighter, but still looks gorgeous, doesn’t it? I suspect it’ll also be tangier due to the longer proofing time (overnight). The dough certainly smelled tangy when I put it in the oven.

The moral of the story is: neglected sourdough probably results in pretty good bread.

In other news, I am still spinning that grey fleece.

I plied those two bobbins I talked about last time. I have no idea how many yards I have – I still need to measure – but there’s a lot. I’m okay with how this turned out, except there’s a lot of energy in one of the skeins, which I think means I put too much twist in the singles. Sigh. Probably it’ll be fine, but the next two bobbins I’m spinning with slightly less twist in the hopes that the resulting yarn will be a bit fluffier – maybe not too fluffy because I want to weave with it. I think. (I’m not sure, to be honest. I’m mostly considering this fleece to be practice yarn. But we’ll see.)

The spinning guild is going up to the farm in Northfield where I got this fleece to get more fleeces in May, so I need to make ROOM.

I’ve been cooking, too! I don’t know why, but I wanted Spätzle so badly, and I wanted to share it with the house. I ate Käsespätzle so often when I lived in Germany. The noodles are available for basically pennies there, but the last time I looked, the same bag of noodles is sold here for $8 at the grocery store. The sad part is that it’s dead easy to make from scratch. SO EASY.

When I was in Germany last visiting my dear friends Eva and Martin, I asked Eva if she had a good recipe for Spätzle as I hadn’t made it before, and she ended up pressing a whole book of Spätzle recipes into my hands with the promise that I’d use it. I picked up a Spätzle press at the grocery store there, too.

Yup. So easy. So delicious. I cooked up a huge amount, and it was enjoyed by all. Of course, to be more authentic to my college days, I also opened a bottle of cheap red wine, and we all had a little with supper. (It was really awful wine – I mulled it later and it’s much improved as well as being without alcohol now. Woo!) Anyone who wants to know how to make Spätzle from scratch, let me know. I can send you a recipe, and if you’re nearby, we can get together and I’ll show you how it’s done (when we’re not all under quarantine, of course). These noodles were made with AP flour and duck eggs. I think I want to try it with a little semolina flour and put some fresh herbs in too. YUM.

And of course, I am making masks so that my housemates and I are as safe as we can be when we are out shopping for groceries. The New York Times had an article on which fabrics have been shown to be adequate. The suggestion was good quality quilter’s flannel and heavy quilting cotton. I chose batik – it’s a fairly high thread count, and it seemed to be the only cotton I had that (gulp, I hate to admit it) I felt I could sacrifice. (Yes, much of my cotton is earmarked for projects.)

Flannel on the left, batik and some other quilter’s cotton on the right.

I haven’t quite finished them yet. I still have a couple with the swirly green fabric and blue flannel to sew up. I did cut elastic for them, but I’m thinking I’ll just make bias strips and make ties.

But I’m trying not to think about making masks and why too much right now. The news as well as the certain level of ignorance and not-critical thinking in people online right now have made me angry, so I’m trying hard to spend a little while concentrating on crafty stuff. Stuff that makes me happier. And Nutella. There’s not a lot that chocolate + hazelnuts cannot help.

I am prepared for so much bread in my life.

(I understand there are people who dislike hazelnuts and/or chocolate. I am not one of those people. Not even a little.)

How are you? What have you been making?

Bread, yarn, German cuisine…and Nutella. It does not seem like I last posted only two weeks ago. It seems like maybe six weeks ago.

[captainmeowvelwrites]

You Times Two (Ch.9)

Pairing: Marinette/Ladybug | Adrien/Chat Noir Words: 4345 Summary: Ladybug knew this was necessary. She was the Guardian. He had the Cat Miraculous. But when his suit evaporated in a glow of pale green, she sure hadn’t expected him to have something far more precious: her heart. Cross-posted: AO3 and FFN

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | ...

Recap: Previously, on You Times Two… Maribug was a bit of a depresso espresso, what with the impending Adrigami date and fifth wheeling her friends. That is, until our favourite dude cheered her up with pizza, turtle talk and some good ol’ Mario Kart. Of course, her kitty-cat’s banana puns might’ve helped a smidge. But will dustings of Adrigami continue to throw her off? And when Chilluka rocks up, will Jealadrien be far behind?

---

Chapter Nine

An hour after Adrien's slippery ascent to victory, they turned to Ultimate Mecha Strike III for some more hearty butt-whooping.

With one final zap of an energy beam, the words "KAGAMI WINS" flashed across the screen, and her crimson mecha-tank launched a clawed fist in the air.

"Aw maaan!" Nino dumped his controller on the coffee table. "How could I lose to a total noob?" He froze. "Uh – No offence! You did good, dudette – I mean Kagami!"

Alya clutched her stomach, her cheeks red from laughing. "Nice one, Kagami! You – You really got him good with that – ah – that triple kick hyperstorm combo!"

"Yeah, Kagami!" Adrien nudged her shoulder with his own. "Only your third game and already you're winning!"

Marinette gave a thumbs up. "You're a natural."

Kagami threaded a strand of hair behind her ear, the slightest of blushes grazing her cheeks. "Thank you, everyone. I couldn't have won without Marinette's expert teaching." She bowed her head, her mouth curving into a smile that simply looked like it belonged there.

That small fact made Marinette's own smile double in size.

"But, dudes, I'm sick of UMS."

Alya tapped down the brim of Nino's precious cap. "You're just sick of losing, babe."

Pouting, he straightened his hat. "That's not the point, Al." He bounced to his feet, eyes on Adrien. "Why don't we fire up Just Dance instead? Let's show 'em our swagger!"

Adrien's face practically glowed as he leapt from the sofa, Kagami's hands falling from his arm to her lap. "You're on, Nino!"

"Ha!" Nino flashed his signature finger guns. "On like Donkey Kong!"

With an overly dramatic scoff, Adrien placed a hand to his chest in a decidedly Chat Noir fashion. "Excuse me? Only I have the rights to that line… especially after my ape overthrew our princess." He sent Marinette an over the shoulder wink and naturally, a flush flamed across her face.

While Nino set up Just Dance, Adrien shrugged out of his blazer in one fluid movement and flicked it over the sofa with a ridiculous amount of flair. He rolled his neck, laced his fingers and stretched his arms out before him. Pair that with the fact his polished shoes, snug jeans, and long-sleeved dress shirt were all black and wow, he was but a tail away from his alter ego. The only thing missing was a poorly timed pun. The flush across her face deepened.

Adrien strutted up to the TV. Umber drapes framed the wide balcony doors to his left, swaying with the wind that weaved through the living room to fan his golden hair. With his eyes on the screen, he raised a thoughtful hand to his chin. His fingers were soaked in sunlight, its rays catching his ring at just the right angle to inspire a shine of silver. Buzzfeed had once dubbed this particular pose The Pondering Prince. It was easy to see why on a rainy day. And even easier when sunbeams spilled across his hair like a literal crown of sunshine.

Marinette wasn't staring.

Nope, not at all.

The choruses of classic pop songs cut through the air as Nino cycled through choreographies. She knew the moment a song stood out to Adrien, by the way The Pondering Prince transformed into The Keen Cutie.

An annoyingly catchy melody sprung through the speakers:

'Take me by the tongue and I'll know you. Uh! Kiss me 'til you're drunk and I'll show you—'

The boys exchanged an eager high five, while Marinette bit back a snort. Chat Noir choosing Moves Like Jagger?

"Only you would, Adrien. Silly ca—" Her mouth snapped shut, but his merry eyes were already on her. She went ramrod straight in her seat. "Ca – Can't be used to describe you row—I mean now – no, right now." She shook her head madly. "Or – uh – any time, really. Because you're so great. At moving. With your feet!"

Adrien stared at her. She could almost see the cogwheels turning in his eyes. Hopefully those cogwheels had nothing to do with her slip up and everything to do with interpreting her word vomit. Finally, he graced her with one of his classic, heart-warming smiles. "Thank you, Marinette!"

She threw two thumbs up. "Well done! I mean, welcome!"

To her right, she could just feel concerned eyes on her.

And to her left, Alya facepalmed.

Adrien's soft smile lingered on Marinette for a moment longer, before a "Ready, bro?" brought his attention back to the TV. She sucked in a breath.

That smile. That classic Adrien smile. It was a gentle, shy sort of smile. One that made you feel special. Chat Noir's smile, on the other hand, was silly, cheeky, at times flirty—and had prompted her to groan on several occasions. Totally different, right?

But they were the same person! As classmates, she could probably count the amount of coherent conversations she'd had with him on her hands. But as partners, they were closer than ever. She'd thought of him as one of her dearest friends long before learning his civilian identity. Now, an unpleasant question reared its awful head. Were his smiles wildly different? Or just her reactions to them?

Alya's voice pulled her from her thoughts. "Daaang!" she called, flaunting a smirk. "You boys are pulling out all the stops today. Where've you been hiding those dance moves, Adrien?"

Marinette looked up at the boy in question and saw her friend, Adrien, dancing with the unbridled joy of her partner, Chat Noir.

And Alya's words must've emboldened him, for he broke away from the choreography with a suave spin on the spot. "Come on, Al. You don't actually think I spent home-school doing schoolwork, do you?" As Maroon 5 whistled on, he executed each move with a flawless flourish. To think, this was the same guy who high-fived street signs with his face.

Alya snickered. "Not bad, Blondie. Not bad at all!"

With an achingly familiar bow, he enacted the tipping of a fake top hat. A silent thank you. One with the pizzazz befitting of her partner.

His theatrics brought out a giggle. She'd seen her silly kitty cut a rug, as he liked to call it, more times than she cared to count. On quiet patrols. In the heat of battle. A few months ago, an amateur video of his dancing had even trended online (he'd reminded her for over a week). His timing was never impeccable, but as they'd grown closer, stifling a smile at his zest for interpretive movement had become increasingly tricky.

"Yes!" Nino wheezed, flinging his arm in time with the dancing avatar on the screen. "I'm catching up!" He was so out of breath. "Keep distracting him!"

"Oh Adrien," her bestie proclaimed, as he moonwalked like a professional zombie from Thriller. "Our dazzling King of Swag!" He held a hand to his ear, spurring her on. "Your flow knows no bounds. I must bow before such unrivalled finesse." True to her word, she bowed in her seat.

And boy, did he lap up the praise! He performed a ridiculously smooth body roll, and concluded it with a click of his fingers. His smile was nearly blinding.

That was all the motivation Marinette needed to pop in her own compliment. "In the not so distant future, bards shall sing of our swagtabulous leader's epic freestyling, and their song shall aptly be named Moves Like Swagdrien!"

Just when she'd thought he couldn't shine any brighter, a laugh burst from his lips. It was one she seldom heard without his mask and the fact she'd brought it out only swelled her sprinting heartbeat.

His next move involved a little hip swaying and a lot of arm swinging. Marinette had only played Fortnite a handful of times, but she had a sneaking suspicion she'd once witnessed it there.

"Keep going, ladies!" Nino implored. "I'm finally winning!"

"Yaaas!" Alya called. "Swagdrien The Suave!"

"Woo!" Marinette launched her fists in the air. "Swagdrien The Debonair!"

"Adrien," Kagami cut in, her puzzled tone stark against the laughter of her friends. "You aren't following the choreography?"

"Rules," he panted, "are made to be broken." As if to emphasise his point, he pulled a double arm wave.

Her brows scrunched. "But you're losing?"

Adrien, now mid-robot, incorporated a shrug into his dance. "This way's more fun"—he threw her a smile—"don't you think?"

His dancing didn't die down in the slightest, nor did the laughter that ensued in its wake.

---

Marinette, like most people, enjoyed bobbing along to Despacito at the best of times.

But this wasn't the best of times.

No, it was the worst. The absolute worst.

More good-natured trash-talking had led to Nino challenging Adrien to a dance-off. But not just any dance-off. No, a double couple dance off (read: everyone but her).

Furthermore, the universe was really testing her limits today—because Despacito's choreography was jam-packed with touching between partners. Sure, Kagami was rather stiff. She'd never played Just Dance before, but Adrien's skills more than made up for that. His hands nestled on her hips, their smiles broad and their bodies close as they moved to the beat.

She tried to smile. She tried to be happy for them. This was what they both wanted. Inserting herself between them – like matter between two magnets – would only be selfish. Even so, she couldn't deny the way her gut writhed at the sight of the happy almost-couple. And she couldn't help but notice Kagami's growing blush.

A distraction.

She needed a distraction.

As if some higher being had honed in on her thoughts, three knocks echoed throughout the apartment. Knuckles on wood had never sounded so wonderful!

Marinette jumped from the sofa. "I'll get it!"

Finally, she'd no longer be the fifth wheel to a quad bike. No, with Luka here, she'd instead be a part of some strange, six-wheeled hybrid. Much more appealing. She raced to the front door and swung it open.

Teal eyes smiled down at her, and their owner gave a little wave, black nail polish shining in the light of the stairwell.

"Luka!" She sprung a hug upon him and without hesitation, he returned it. The exchange only lasted two seconds – three tops – but by gosh, the rich scent of sandalwood delighted her senses long after. "So, how was your shift?"

"Oh, it couldn't end fast enough."

Truer words had never been spoken.

Marinette took his free hand in hers and guided him to the living room. The two couples were still dancing up a storm, guitar chords and Spanish lyrics echoing through the room. "Hey, I see you brought your guitar." She beamed up at him. "You'll have to play us something later. I'd really love to hear my song again!"

From the corner of her eye, Adrien stumbled mid-step.

"I saw that, Blondie!" cackled Alya, her hand in Nino's as they grooved from side to side. "You burning out?"

"Never!" He broke away from the choreography and Kagami quirked a brow as he puffed his chest out into a body roll, even more fluid than his first.

Luka slipped a guitar case off of his shoulders and against the sofa. "Hey, everyone!" He was answered by an array of breathless greetings. "Oh, right." He chuckled. "They're just dancing."

Marinetted laughed—

Until she realised the wordplay wasn't intentional.

"Wow!" Luka chimed, settling on the sofa. "Nice moves, Adrien."

Green eyes remained on the screen. "Thanks."

Marinette swiped the pizza box from the table, four pieces saved within it. "As promised, Luka!" Handing over the box, she sat beside him. "If you're not a cold pizza kinda guy, I can always heat it up for you?"

With a slice of pizza in hand, his free arm reached behind her, resting across the back of the sofa. "It's okay, Marinette. I'm perfectly fine with cold pizza." His eyes were as gentle as his smile. "The thought's appreciated though. Thank you."

A flush crept up her face as he looked at her, but she didn't mind. Not at all.

---

'We are one tonight, and we're breathing in the same air—'

With an easy smile, Marinette tapped her toes in time to the lively tempo of Turn Up The Love. To no one's surprise, Alya and Nino were nailing every move thrown their way—and fast approaching new high scores.

"Wow," Luka spoke up beside her, and her eyes flitted toward him. "They're so in tune, don't you think?"

Marinette gave a merry nod, recalling a time she'd said similar words to a certain blond.

She leant against the coffee table, smiling at the sight of her dancing friends. "They're so in sync with each other."

"You're right," Adrien said, from the other end of a FaceTime call. "Someday I hope I'll find someone I can share everything with… like they do."

In the present, she pursed her lips. Had Adrien been thinking of Ladybug then? Her eyes drifted toward the boy in question, only to catch his eyes zipping away that very second.

"Too right, Luka!" Adrien leaped into their conversation—and winced when his voice shot up an octave. Clearing his throat, he directed a smile at the dancing duo. "When's the wedding, guys?"

Alya skipped around Nino, her arms swinging to the beat. "We don't know the date just yet."

"But don't worry," Nino puffed. "You'll definitely be my best dude!"

"They're only fourteen, Adrien." Kagami tilted her head, her dark hair shifting. "How young do you plan to get married?"

Beside her, Marinette felt him tense. "Oh – I – Ye-ah." His voice cracked. "Fourteen's way too young! The legal age is – uh – eighteen, right?"

"You plan to be married at eighteen?"

"Err – Well, I don't – I don't know?" He squeezed out a laugh. "I mean, maybe. For the right girl?"

"Does that mean you'd marry the wrong girl if you were older?"

"No, I just—"

"Your indecision is troubling, Adrien."

Those words seemed to resonate with him. He shrunk into the sofa like a silent apology.

Marinette's nails dug dents into her palms—but Kagami didn't deserve her ire. She wasn't exactly well-acquainted with social cues. Heck, she probably didn't even realise what she was doing.

Flexing her paling fingers, Marinette turned to Luka, a wordless plea to fix this. She didn't trust herself to.

And he didn't disappoint.

"Hey, Marinette?" Both fencers looked his way. "Has anyone else tried your macarons yet?"

Adrien clung to those words. "I saw the carton on the bench, but I didn't want to be the first one to crack into them!" With a sheepish chuckle, he dipped a hand behind his neck. "I figured we were saving them for later in the day?"

If he didn't get his passionfruit macaron today, Marinette would scream to high heaven. "No no, Adrien!" She waved her hands for emphasis. "Feel free to help yourself. No, actually—"

She launched to her feet.

He did the same.

"—I'll bring them over," they said in unison. Blinking at each other, they laughed at once. "Sorry," they said. "I – Uh. You go first! No, you—"

Marinette held up a hand. "I'll bring the napkins. You bring the macarons. Deal?"

"Deal!"

---

A minute later, Alya and Nino collapsed onto the sofa, their chests heaving after their dance. To his delight, Nino had come out on top, destroying his former high score along with Alya's. (Not at all suspiciously, Alya had matched him point-for-point until the last thirty seconds, when her dancing had deteriorated just enough to let him win.)

A cardboard carton, with a golden emblem adorning its lid, rattled in Marinette's palms. While Adrien shared napkins around, she plonked down beside Luka. "I hope all this dancing's worked up everyone's appetite!"

Alya accepted a napkin. "By the grin on Adrien's face, I'd say his answer is a resounding yes."

"Can't blame him, babe. Those moves were unreal."

"It must be the fencing."

"From what I saw, he was a one-man sonata."

"Or a unicorn."

"Girl, did you just call Adrien a unicorn?"

Marinette nodded, unabashed. She was trying to get over him, yes. That didn't mean he wasn't still one of a kind.

With all leftover napkins now on the coffee table, Adrien resumed his seat between Marinette and Kagami. "Full disclosure: I'd make a magnificent unicorn."

Laughter erupted.

And only as it died down did Marinette speak again. "In that case, I sure hope unicorns like macarons!" She flipped back the carton in her lap, revealing an assortment of brown and yellow treats. "We've got two flavours: Belgian chocolate and passionfruit. I would've made more, but I was a little short on time."

"I'll believe it," Alya teased.

She stuck out her tongue. "Just a heads up, everyone—"

From the corner of her eye, Kagami reached for Adrien's hand and threaded it with her own. His smile wavered. He went to pull back, but Kagami tightened her grip—without realising? Adrien's struggling stopped.

"Yike—"

Marinette glimpsed a stern look from Alya.

"I mean LIKE! Yeah. I was, like, extra clumsy this morning and – err – dropped the macarons on this side." She jabbed a finger toward the left of the carton. "So – Um. Sorry about that."

Hands reached from all sides, lightening the carton in her hands, and delighted hums soon floated through the living room.

"Girl, you've really outdone yourself this time!"

"Ditto, babe!"

"I agree." Kagami admired the yellow, half-eaten macaron between her fingers. Her other hand still gripped Adrien's. "This is really delicious."

Adrien's face inched near as he marvelled at the macarons. "You made these, Marinette?" She thought she felt herself nod. "They look delicious!" He took one from the tainted side. Passionfruit, of course. His first bite— "Wow." He gazed at the treat like it was the answer to world peace. "Marinette, this macaron. It's… It's perfect!"

She felt herself beam as he savoured a second bite. This beautiful moment was most definitely worth the many Sundays she'd spent baking a single macaron.

In or out of the suit. Chat Noir or Adrien. He was her friend. Maybe she'd never see those three kids or that hamster. Maybe she'd never have that dog or that beautiful house. At least, not with Adrien.

Because they were superheroes.

Because of apocalyptic cataclysms.

Because he said he loved Ladybug, but in the end, he chose Kagami.

But she could still make him happy.

Luka reached for a treat last. His side pressed into hers as he leaned closer and picked a chocolate macaron. Like this morning, he went for the street-sullied side. With his free arm splayed behind her, he settled back into the couch cushions and savoured the snack with his eyes shut. "This flavour's even better! You're so extraordinary, Marinette."

Cheeks aflame, Marinette brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

Extraordinary.

Luka said she was extraordinary.

And it wasn't the first time. No, the first time he'd been under Hawk Moth's cruel influence. And she tried not to take a supervillain's words to heart.

But then he'd said it again, his hand warm on her arm and his eyes warmer still.

"You're the most extraordinary girl, Marinette. As clear as a musical note and as sincere as a melody. You're the music that's been playing inside my head since the first day we met."

Was it time to tune along to his song?

Marinette swallowed, searching for a reply to the wonderful words of her friends. Instead, she caught the green gaze of another boy watching her fondly.

A lump lodged in her throat.

From the day she'd met him, her heart had been his.

But he didn't want his classmate.

From the day she'd met Luka, she'd been the song inside his head.

He made sure she knew where they stood.

He supported her every decision.

He made things simple.

The logical choice was clear.

Yet her heart throbbed at the thought.

No matter what, someone was bound to get hurt. Her friend. Her partner. Herself.

For over a year, she'd saved Paris with quick-thinking and convoluted strategies. She was the girl with a plan, the one people came to when times were tough. Yet here she was, unable to think up a single way to save her and her loved ones from heartbreak.

Why was she so useless?

Why couldn't she just keep everyone happy?

How could she possibly choose between them?

"Earth to Marinette?" Alya interrupted her thoughts. "Guys! I think we broke her with compliments!"

"No! Sorry, I just—" Marinette placed a hand to her chest and drew in a breath. "Thank you, everyone." She meant that wholeheartedly, and turned to Alya with a smile. "Wanna get back to dancing?"

"You know it!"

---

'Starships were meant to fly! Hands up and touch the sky!'

Of course, Alya had picked an old favourite of theirs: Starships by Nicki Minaj. A bop that never failed to bump up her mood. She knew the choreography well, but was still surprised by her soaring score. Her every move displayed a grace she'd never thought possible without a little latex magic, and over and over, the word "PERFECT" flashed gold on the screen. It was like the game was a one-word dictionary, but she sure wasn't complaining.

"Oh my gosh, M!" Alya puffed. "You are killing it!"

"Call me Swagrinette!"

Adrien laughed from his place on the sofa. "I don't think Swagrinette has quite the same ring to it." She threw a smile over her shoulder—just as Kagami eased her head onto his.

Marinette misstepped, but caught herself before the floor could. "Oops!" She wheezed out a laugh. "Spoke too soon, Al." Her arms circled through the air in sync with the dancing avatar.

Alya snorted. "You're still owning it!"

"She's right," Kagami added. "Your dancing's impressive, Marinette."

She glanced back at Kagami, another smile at the ready. It died on her lips at the sight she beheld. Adrien's eyes were on his hand, laced with Kagami's, and the look he wore was a resigned one. Knitted brows. A slight weight to his lips. He was unhappy—

Pain sliced through her ankle.

In a tangle of limbs, she tumbled to the floor.

Voices cried out her name.

Steps pounded.

She didn't know when, but her hand had clung to her ankle, and her face twisted as it throbbed beneath her fingertips.

"Are you okay?!"

Her eyes flew up—and what they beheld was excruciatingly familiar.

Two hands were extended before her: black nail polish painted the one on her right and an unmistakable ring adorned the one on her left. Her right hand remained around her ankle. Her other lifted off the floor. It drifted left, right, then paused dead centre.

With a composing breath, Marinette chose neither. Instead, she reached for a nearby ottoman, small and round and pastel pink, and chose to help herself off the floor. "I'm fine, guys," she said, reaching her feet.

Everyone stared, eyes rife with worry, while Starships thumped on in the background. Such upbeat music now seemed woefully out of place.

Alya propped a hand on her hip. "You sure, Marinette?"

Nino stepped to Adrien's side. "Yeah, that was one heck of a fall."

"I agree." Kagami's eyes were on Marinette's ankle. "It looked pretty serious."

Marinette fixed up a smile. "Really, I'm A-OK. See?" She shifted her weight to her right—

Another zap of pain.

Two sets of hands sprang to her shoulders, steadying her.

Marinette waved both boys away. "No no. I've got this." She hobbled over to the sofa, stifling a wince, while steps tapped behind her. "It's not as bad as it looks"—she wasn't sure if that was a lie—"but just in case, I think I'd better be a spectator for the rest of the day."

Luka seated himself to her immediate right. "First, we should really take care of your ankle." He looked to a concerned Alya, who'd seated herself on the arm of the sofa. "Do you have any ice packs?"

Adrien claimed the free spot to Marinette's left. "Plus something to act as a barrier between the ice pack and her skin." An instruction, not a suggestion. "Painkillers too. And some anti-inflammatory cream."

"On it!" Nino rushed to the freezer.

"We gotcha!" Alya's red hair whipped behind her as she dashed to the bathroom.

Marinette clung to the cushion beneath her. This was a disaster. A complete and utter disaster. But she could at least avoid dragging her friends down with her. "No need to fuss, guys." She kept her tone light. "It's really not that bad. And I don't wanna ruin the afternoon by—"

A comforting weight on her hand gave her pause. "Never." Adrien's eyes creased as he smiled, giving her hand a light squeeze. "We're just looking out for you. You'd do the same for any of us."

Luka's hand found her shoulder. "You can tell us if you're not okay, Marinette."

"Yeah, I can call you a doctor," Adrien chipped in. "Or get my driver to take you. Just say the word, Marinette."

Kagami knelt on the floor ahead of her, a cushion in hand. "I believe elevating the injury above the heart reduces swelling. Here." She placed the cushion on the coffee table and with a substantial amount of care, eased Marinette's foot upon it.

A smile flooded her face. Her friends were truly the best.

---

With a metallic whir, daylight broke upon the silhouette of a lean man, and flocks of butterflies stirred, their pale wings catching the sun.

"Ahh… An aspiring artist with a penchant for Picasso. One whose dreams have been crushed by a hard-hearted critic." Each word floated from his tongue with a delighted lilt. "What perfect prey for my akuma."

He beckoned a nearby butterfly to his awaiting palm, carefully caging it between two gloved hands. Darkness materialized, clinging to the insect and soiling its snowy wings.

"Fly away, my pretty akuma, and evilize this wounded soul!"

[theycallmemoosey]

Don't Lie to Me

Dan x Reader 

Warnings: Kinda dark, domestic violence, abuse, I swear there's some fluff in there somewhere 

A/N: Another request! Woo! I was so happy to write this (shows what I enjoy) and I really tried with this because it was such a good idea. I'm sorry if it's not what you’re hoping for or it's  a bit too dark. I think I went a bit “13 Reasons Why” - ish with this one. I hope you enjoy it, anyhow. Moose :) 

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“Are you going to stay the night?” Dan asked as he traced patterns up and down your forearm. 

“I shouldn’t really, I should get home to the cats” “Can’t they be alone for one night?” You laughed, trying to get up from the sofa but being pulled back forcefully, “They’re very dependent on me being home. They get anxious when I’m not there and I don’t really want them to tear up the apartment” “Oh come on, you haven’t spent a night in the Howell/Lester apartment yet!” He tried to persuade you, receiving the not-so-serious glare from you. He laughed, “Okay okay! But you’ll be over again tomorrow, right?” “I thought you had to film all day tomorrow?” “Mmhm” “So wouldn’t I be in the way?” Dan smiled, “Actually, I was hoping that we could make a video together? Announce that we’re a couple?” “Dan, I don’t think so” you laughed awkwardly, furrowing your eyebrows at him. “Come on, we’ve been together for a while now, I don’t see why not. And you make me so happy and mean so much to me, I want the rest of the world to know how much you mean to me too” “Dan, I really appreciate the thought, but I don’t think your fans would like it. And I’m not sure how I would cope with the attention” “Are you sure?” Dan asked, bringing out the puppy eyes. “Yes” you smiled, your eyes darting to the time on Dan’s phone, “shit. It’s late, I really should get going” “Oh...right” Dan said, staring at you confused as you started rushing to get your coat and bag, “Y/N, are you alright?” You stopped, grinning painfully wide to cover up the panic, “I’m fine. Just didn’t realise the time and I have to be up really early for work tomorrow” “Y/N...” “Thanks for having me over...I’ll see you Sunday?” Dan began to speak, but you interrupted him, “great! Sunday it is” You quickly gave him a kiss and smiled as you walked out the apartment, rushing down the stairs and almost sprinting down the road to find the nearest taxi. “What the...” Dan muttered, still stood in the same position he was before you left. “Guys, just to warn you, I think the hot water tank is faulty again tonight, the...where’s Y/N?” “Went home” Dan huffed, sitting back down and scrolling through the tv. “She’s...still refusing to stay?” “I don’t know what it is that makes her not want to stay here. I mean, Jesus, we’ve been together for ages now. It’s weird that she hasn’t stayed before. Right?” “Yeah...yeah it is” Phil agreed, taking his place next to Dan on the sofa, “What we watching?” “Whatever you want...I might just go to bed” “Oh. Are you sure?” “Yeah...suddenly feel really tired” “Ok. Well...goodnight then” “Yeah, night Phil” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You had just got home, silently panting as you shut the door gently, careful not to disturb your mum and her boyfriend, Steve. You quietly tiptoed towards the kitchen, your throat feeling sore from how little you had to drink today. As you began to drink, you heard someone clear their throat behind you, making you jump. “Back so late, Y/N?” Steve’s voice sternly said, in a hushed tone so as not to wake up your mum. “Work kept me behind” you falsely smiled at him, tipping the remaining water down the sink in an effort to get to your bedroom faster. “Is that so?” “Yeah, lots of paperwork needed to be done and the deadline was tomorrow” “See, it’s funny you should say that, because I called in at your work, and they said you had left hours ago” You swallowed hardly, “I-“ “You’re lying to me, aren’t you?” “No! No...I-I was there. Maybe they just didn’t see me?” “Don’t lie to me, Y/N...you know I won’t tolerate liars” he snarled, his fist clenching by his sides. “Steve, I swear to you, I wasn’t-“ “Where were you?” “I’ve already told you! I was at work!” His fist smacked your face, making your lip bleed rapidly. Your face stung and you felt your head pulsing as you went to touch your swollen lip. “Don’t make me ask again, Y/N...” “I-“ you began to cry, “I was seeing a friend” “Which friend?” “A friend from work” “Which friend?” He persisted, his hand raising slightly. “Danielle” you hesitated, closing your eyes in fear. “You hesitated, Y/N. You’re lying to me again” “Dan! His name’s Dan” you sobbed, almost hunching on the floor in fear. “Oh a MALE friend? You’ve been seeing a guy?” You didn’t say anything, you just continued to cry on the floor. “We don’t keep secrets in this family, Y/N” You sniffled, finally gaining some confidence, “you’re not my family. And you never will be” You looked up and met rage filled eyes, his smirk growing, “Oh Y/N, I’m family now. And I always will be” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Beat that, suckers!” Dan cheered, having won the fifth mario kart race in a row. “Good to see you’re nice to our subscribers” Phil laughed, checking the chats as they filmed their live stream. “What world will we go to next?” “Please not cheese land, please not cheese land” Phil jokingly pleaded As Dan was about to say some remark about Phil’s cheese phobia, the two of them turned their heads towards the door at the sound of the doorbell. “Should we answer it?” Phil asked Dan “Nah, let’s leave it. The neighbours will get it if it’s a parcel” “Are you sure?” “Yeah, yeah let’s just carry on. OH! I love this map!” Phil continued reading through the chat while Dan began commentating on the subscribers’ skills. “Mary Jane says that-Dan’s it’s the doorbell again...” Phil said, hearing the doorbell go off once more. “Ignore it. We’re busy” Dan said whilst concentrating on trying to pass by a subscriber to get to first, “hah! Beat that, Jamie07941! Phew, another race won!” “Ok! My turn!” Phil said excitedly, taking the control from Dan. As Phil started talking about his mii and the lands he likes, Dan checked his phone quickly.

Y/N - Dan? Please let me in. I need you.

“Uhh, I need to go get the parcel. Neighbours just text me” Dan showed Phil the text message from you, keeping it hidden from the camera so as not to reveal who you were. “Ok. Sorry guys, stuck with me for a couple minutes while Dan grabs the parcel. Anyway-“ Phil’s voice faded as Dan headed down the stairs and to the door of the apartment. “Y/N?” He opened the door to a crying mess, your head down. “Hey, is everything ok?” Dan took your hand gently and pulled you inside, not letting go once he had shut the door. “I-I’m sorry for coming. I know I said I wouldn’t. It’s just...work has been really hard today” You sniffed, refusing to look up at Dan. “Look at me, love” Dan urged, but you shook your head, “Hey, look at me” He tilt your head up gently, revealing the large bruise on your face. You had covered up the rest on your body with the large hoodie you put on before you went to work this morning. “What happened?!” Dan asked, worry in his voice. “I fell at work today. Into the printer” you fake laughed, wiping the tears away with your sleeve, careful not to reveal too much on your arms. “Oh sure” Dan replied, the sarcasm evident in his voice. “Seriously! I fell into the printer face first and managed to bruise my face. I’ve been the laughing stock today” Dan sighed, “listen, I have to carry on with the live show. You know where everything is in the kitchen. There’s a new pint of ice cream in the freezer I bought earlier today, so help yourself. Feel free to go to my room or watch some tv in the front room, just try to be quiet. Don’t want the subscribers knowing about you, right?” “I’m sorry...” “Hey, no. Don’t be sorry. It’s fine! Of course it is” He smiles comfortingly, pulling you in for a hug, “we won’t be long ok?” You nodded, Dan kissing you quickly before jogging back to the gaming room. You sighed, placing your bag on the floor by the door, along with your shoes. You looked in the mirror and wiped the visible tears, fixing your hair so it wasn’t sticking up everywhere. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “You ate the entire thing?!” You looked up from your place on the sofa to see Dan, stood in awe at the fact you ate an entire pint of ice cream by yourself. “I haven’t eaten today” you shrugged, going back to watching the tv. “You haven’t eaten?” You shook your head in reply, Dan humming. “Well, Phil and I haven’t had dinner yet so...take out?” “Yeah...I could do a takeout” Dan smiled, “PHIL?!” “WHAT?!” You heard Phil shout from the other side of the apartment. “WE’RE GETTING TAKEOUT” “YAY” “That was the most sarcastic yay I have ever heard. And it wasn’t from Dan?” You gasped jokingly, lifting up the blanket and inviting Dan next to you. He sat down next to you and rested his head on your shoulder, typing into his phone. “What would you prefer? Just be warned, Chinese doesn’t exactly agree with Phil” You laughed gently, “Pizza sound ok?” “Sounds perfect” he looked up to meet your eyes, smiling widely. You kissed his forehead softly and smiled back. The two of you didn’t break eye contact for minutes until Phil walked in the room. “Guys - JESUS Y/N! Your face! Are you okay?!” Phil gasped, rushing towards you to look at the bruise more carefully. “I fell into the printer at work today” you laughed, pushing him away playfully. “Oh. As long as you’re alright” he smiled, concern in his eyes. “Thank you Phil” you smiled back Phil sighed “So! What’s the verdict?” “Pizza” Dan announced, “Care to order for us?” “Why can’t you?” “I got the post this morning, you can call the pizza place. One margarita, one pepperoni and whatever you want” Dan smiled at him smugly, Phil rolling his eyes, although still smiling. “Y/N?” Phil turned his gaze to you, “Will you be staying tonight? Just gotta make sure there are enough clean towels” “Uhhh...” you hesitated, looking between Phil and Dan, seeing them both silently pleading for you stay, “if it’s ok with you guys then sure. Might as well” “Great! Cool, I’ll go make the call and then sort out everything” Phil said excitedly, heading out the room. “Phil, wait! I’ll call the pizza place. I need to call my mum anyway, tell her I’m not coming home tonight” you smiled, lifting the blanket off of you.   “What? I thought you lived on your own?” Dan interjected, confusion in his voice, whilst frowning slightly at your absence. “Yeah!” You quickly corrected yourself, “Yeah, I do. I was supposed to be staying at hers tonight but I’d much rather be here” “Oh...are you sure?” “Totally. She won’t mind” you said as you began to type in her number “Y/N?” Dan called after you again. “Mmhm?” “What about the cats?” “Right...I almost forgot I had cats” you laughed nervously, “I guess I better call my neighbour too. Thanks, hun” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Hey, mum?” “Is everything alright?” “Yeah. Yeah I’m fine. Is Steve at home?” “No, he’s at the bar. What’s the matter?” “I’m not going to be home tonight...” “Why? Where are you going?” “I...I’m staying at Dan’s house tonight” “Steve won’t like that, Y/N. You know that” “I know” you sighed, “can you just tell him that I’m staying at Grandma’s? Say she needed help with some stuff and I thought I would stay?” “I can try. I’m can’t guarantee that he’ll believe me” “Please? Mum, I can’t live like a child in that house. Especially not with him. I need to live my life...and this is part of it” “Does Steve know about Dan?” You sighed, hearing the panic in your mum’s voice over the phone, “he knows about Dan’s existence. Not that I’ve been dating him for nearly a year” “I can’t believe you’ve managed to hide that for so long. You know, if he finds out, he might be worse than usual. Jesus, Y/N, he might kill us” “Mum...if you need me to come home, I will” “No! No, Y/N. Stay. You’re right. You’re an adult. You need to be treated like one” “Thank you...you’ll call me or message me if he tries anything. I’ll be straight home” “I’ll see you tomorrow?” “Yeah. Love you, mum” “Love you too” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Oooh Pizza” Phil excitedly muttered when we heard the doorbell go off. When Phil left you and Dan alone to go and get the pizza, Dan paused the movie and pulled you close into a giant bear hug. “I love you, you know that right?” “I know. I love you too” you smiled at him, snuggling down into his warmth. “Y/N, can I suggest something insane?” “What’s that?” “Move in with me?” You gasped quietly, then looked away from Dan, not quite believing what he said. “Y/N? Everything ok?” He asked, noticing your behaviour change “You don’t want me living here. I don’t think I could, anyway” “Sure you could! Phil loves you, not as much as me of course, but he’d love you here. It’s closer to your work so you don’t have to get up so early” “What...what about the cats?” “Bring them with you!” You stared at Dan, “you hate cats...” “Yeah, I do. They’re evil. But if it means you’d move in with me then I don’t care” You sighed, “Dan, I don’t think it’s right for me to move in. It’s too soon” “Y/N, we’ve been together for nearly a year, it’s not THAT soon” Luckily, Phil walked in at that moment. Sighing of relief, you smiled at him and took the pizza, playing the movie again. Dan sighed next to you and took his own pizza, evidently annoyed that you wouldn’t agree to it. His eyes looked down towards your hands, debating whether or not to take them in his own, when your hoodie sleeve slid down slightly when you tried to pull a slice of pizza apart from the others. Dan’s eyes widened at the large purple bruises on your wrist, easily in the shape of fingers. He cleared his throat, averting his eyes, knowing you hadn’t clocked that he had spotted them. Throughout the movie, you and Phil laughed and joked around, commenting on each mistake in the movie, but Dan sat there silently, smiling weakly if either of you made a joke or reference towards him. He couldn’t stop thinking about who could have done this to you. As far as he knew, you lived alone with your cats, and everyone at your work was lovely when he went to surprise you. When the film ended, Phil decided to go to bed, leaving the two of you to voluntarily clear up so that you wouldn’t have to do it tomorrow morning. You followed Dan to his room when you had finished, excitement building up inside of you at the thought of spending the night with Dan. You watched him lovingly as he began to get ready for bed, tidying the side of the bed he didn’t sleep on to allow you to actually fit on the bed. “Voila. All ready” he smiled, before noticing your clothes, “aren’t you going to change?” “I haven’t got anything to change into” you shrugged, happily lifting the duvet to slide into bed. “Wait, you can’t sleep in that!” Dan said, laughing slightly before going to his wardrobe. He pulled out his extra long black shirt and handed it to you, “Here you go” “Thanks” you smiled gratefully, before heading out the room. “Hey, where you going?” “Bathroom?” “You can change in here, it’s not like I haven’t seen you naked before” he laughed, his mind going back to the bruises he saw on your wrist. “I need the toilet anyway. I won’t be long” “Y/N!” Dan called after you as you continued walking down the hall. “Yeah?” You walked back into his room, the shirt in hand. “Tell me what’s going on...” “What?” “I saw them...” “Saw what?” “The bruises. On your wrist” You cleared your throat, pulling the sleeves down, suddenly becoming very self conscious. “It was the printer” “Like that bruise on your face?” “Yeah” you smiled weakly “Stop lying to me, Y/N! What’s going on?!” He raises his voice, seeing you flinch. He immediately regretted shouting, and carefully walked towards you, pulling you into an embrace as you began to cry. “I’m sorry” you whispered. “No. Don’t be sorry” he kissed your head, “I just love you too much to see you be hurt. Tell me what’s going on. Tell me who’s hurting you. Maybe I can help” “You can’t, Dan” you sobbed into his chest, “no one can” “Let me try” he said soothingly, rubbing your back gently. “Can we talk about this in the morning? I just want to sleep now” you sniffed, Dan nodding. “Change in here. I know about it now so...” “Dan, I wasn’t kidding when I said I needed the toilet” you laughed slightly, Dan wiping the tears away. “Go on then” he smiled, watching as you walked away, feeling furious with whoever broke you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You had fallen asleep in his arms, and had the best sleep you’ve had in ages. Dan, however, couldn’t sleep. He held you tightly and wouldn’t let you go, other than when you rolled around in your sleep. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you, scared you would run away from him if he fell asleep. He felt like he had to protect you, even though he knew no one was going to come into his bedroom in the middle of the night. He sighed and loosened his grip slightly, pulling the duvet back gently so as not to wake you up. He took the hem of the shirt and pulled it up to your chest, revealing a body of purple and brown and black. He gasped slightly and felt the tears begin to form, lightly tracing his fingers along your body, making you shiver slightly. He leant down and kissed your shoulder, pulling down the shirt and covering both of you with the duvet again. He sighed and pulled you in close, hugging you tightly as you shifted by slept deeper into him. Dan began to cry quietly, making sure not to wake you up. So many questions were racing through his mind. Who was doing this? How long has she been suffering through this? Why didn’t she talk to me? Dan wanted nothing more than to save you from this, and take away all the pain you were going through. He tried to sleep, hoping you would explain everything in the morning. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Phil! Phil!” Dan shouted as he ran into the kitchen, sliding slighting on the wooden floors, “where’s Y/N?!” “Shower, I think. Why?” Dan sighed, “thought she ran off...” “Why would she do that?” Phil laughed confused, taking another mouthful of his cereal. “I...um...well...” Dan hesitated, before sitting down next to Phil, “I think someone’s abusing her” Phil almost spat his cereal, “What?!” “Shhhhh” Dan hushed, checking the doorway, “she’s got bruises everywhere. The bruise on her face wasn’t from the printer...someone’s hurting her. There are bruises on her wrists and all the way up her body. We need to stop whoever’s doing this to her” “Who could it be?” Phil wondered. “That’s the thing, I don’t know! Unless she’s seeing someone else...” Dan’s voice broke at the thought. “No. I’m sure she wouldn’t be, Dan” “DAN!!” The boys heard your voice shout out to them, their heads both turning to the doorway. “YEAH?!” Dan called back “MIND IF I BORROW A MERCH HOODIE? JUST FOUND A PIZZA STAIN ON THE ONE I WORE YESTERDAY” “YEAH GO FOR IT” Phil turned towards Dan, taking another spoonful of his cereal, “Go talk to her. Only way to find out” “Yeah. Thanks, Phil” Dan smiled and headed towards his room, seeing you humming happily to yourself as you got changed and began making the bed. “You’re pretty” Dan said in a childish voice, stepping away from the wall he was just leant on to hug you from behind. “Thanks, babe” you looked up and kissed him, before continuing to make the bed, although admittedly it was a lot harder with a full sized Dan on your back. “Y/N?” “Yes?” “When are we going to talk about it?” You paused, standing up for a moment, feeling Dan place his head on your shoulder in anticipation. “I don’t know how” you placed your hands on his arm, which was wrapped tightly around your waist. At perfect timing, your phone began to ring. “Shit” you muttered, recognising your mum’s ringtone, “Dan, I have to get this” “Y/N!” He whined, annoyance evident in his voice. “Dan, please!” You pushed him away, slightly roughly, and headed towards your phone, “Mum?” “Y/N?” Your mum’s voice sounded panic and rushed, “you need to come home. Now” “Mum, is everything ok?!” “It’s Steve, Y/N...just get here as soon as you can and we might just be alright” “Yeah. Yeah I’m on my way now. I’ll be as quick as I can” You hung up quickly, turning to Dan. He was sat on the bed, resting his elbows on his knees, his hands in a clenched fist to his lips. “Dan...” “Don’t. Just...don’t. If you need to go, go” he said, monotonously. He didn’t look at you, he just stared straight at the wall in front of him. “Dan, please don’t be mad...” “Mad?” He scoffed, “I’m not mad” You scoffed back, “Yeah, and I’m not your girlfriend” Dan finally looked at you, raising his voice, “What?!” “Jesus, Dan! I was being sarcastic!” Of course you’re mad at me!” You felt Dan’s eyes on you, burning into you with the anger. “Dan! I know you’re mad that I won’t move in. I know you’re mad that I won’t tell you about the bruises on my body. I know you’re mad that I’ve got millions of secrets that I haven’t yet told you. But I have to go, or my mum might just get killed!” Dan’s eyes turned from anger to shock, “What?” “Dan! I need to go!” You began to sob, your hands beginning to shake. “Woah! Hey!” Dan sprung up from his place on the bed, grabbing you and holding you up before you fell to the ground, “Hey! Breathe with me ok?” “Dan, I need to get to my mum. Steve’s going to hurt her” you cried, clinging onto him tightly. “Ok. Ok, I’m going to come with you, alright?” Dan encouraged, trying to help lift you up. “No! Dan, he’ll kill you!” “He won’t touch me” he smiled comfortingly, escorting you towards the front door. “PHIL! HURRY!” He called, the sound of footsteps getting louder behind you. “What? What’s happened?” Phil asked panicked. “Just call a taxi” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Mum?! MUM?!” You called into the house, looking in every room you could. You sprinted up to her bedroom and opened the door, seeing her laying unconscious on the floor. “Mum?!” You rushed to her, trying desperately to wake her up. She had a pulse. He wasn’t a murderer yet. As you tried to lift her up, you were knocked down by a kick to the head. You groaned in pain, curled up on the floor as you clutched your head, but Steve picked you up roughly and slammed you against the wall. You could smell the alcohol from a mile away, and you could tell he was high from the way his eyes were bloodshot. “You didn’t come home last night, Y/N” he snarled, an evil smirk appearing on his face. “Steve, leave me alone” you cried, tears rolling down your cheeks “Oh no, Y/N. You lied to me. You’ve been hiding this Dan from me for months now. You know what I do if someone lies to me, Y/N...except, this time you AND your mother pay” Your head was slammed against the wall, causing you to almost black out. His fist collided with your face nearly ten times, if not more. He kicked you and beat you down until you were coughing blood into the carpet. Just as he was about to slam his foot into you as you lay on the ground, you heard the boys storm in. You couldn’t see much through your swollen eyes, but you saw Dan and Phil push and pull Steve away from you, ducking each punch Steve threw their way. One punch hit Dan in the face, and you saw Dan’s entire demeanour change. He pushed him to the wall roughly, throwing his own punches towards Steve. You heard Phil call the police and decided to try and wake your mum up again. You crawled over to her, hissing through the pain of what was probably a few cracked ribs, but you reached her eventually. “Mum?” You whispered, shaking her arm as much as you could, “Mum, come on. They’re going to get rid of him for good, mum” You didn’t know if she woke up, or what happened after that, because the next thing you knew everything was dark. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You woke up slowly, your eyes adjusting to the light. Your whole body ached and you groaned as you tried to sit up. As you finally adjusted to your surroundings, you realised you weren’t your own room. The duvet cover was the familiar black and grey squares. In front of you, you saw the hideous ass chair. It was Dan’s room. You grabbed your phone and checked the time, seeing it was two days later than when you went home. “Y/N?” You looked up and saw a beaten up Dan, smiling down at you. “Oh my god, what happened to your face?!” “Shhh...I got a bit angry with Steve and ended up getting beaten myself. He got it worse though” he winked, or at least, tried to wink through the grand black eye. “Is mum ok?” You asked, trying to get out of bed but Dan pushing you back. “She’s here. And awake. And fine. We gave her the spare room until she’s comfortable to go back to her house” “And-“ “And Steve’s currently in the county jail. No doubt one of his friends will try and bail him but...you’re safe with me” he smiled at you, stroking your arms, before laughing slightly to himself. “What’s so funny?” “You look a right mess” he kept laughing, and you went to hit him but it hurt too much to move, so it was more of a pathetic wave towards his direction. Dan leant down and kissed you gently, cautious of the marks and bruises on your face. “I love you, Y/N” “I know” you smiled at him, grateful for such a wonderful boyfriend, before you realised, “oh my god, Dan...” “What?” “You can’t post anything anywhere for weeks! I mean...your subscribers would go mad! And then you’d have to reveal me, and-“ “Calm down! I want them to know about you. Anyway, asshat can’t hurt you now. I know that’s the only reason you didn't want to announce it” he watched as you awkwardly nodded your head, “Oh! And you don’t own any cats. Do you?” You sighed, smiling slightly to yourself, “No. I’m actually deadly allergic to them” Dan threw his head back in laughter and you joined him. “I can’t believe you lied to me for that long. I thought I knew everything about you” “Well...no more secrets now” “Promise?” “Promise” you smiled “Hey, Y/N...” “Mmhm?” You replied, sitting up more so you were face to face with him. “Does this mean you can move in now?” “Ok” you nodded “Ok? Seriously?” Dan said excitedly, “you’ll move in with me?” You nodded, kissing him gently. “This is the best day of my life!” He cried, “I mean...apart from the fact everyone’s covered in bruises and recovering from a demon attack but other than that...YES!! WOO!!” Dan jumped up and ran towards the doorway, “PHIL! SHE SAID YES! SHE’S GONNA LIVE WITH US!!” “YAY!!” You chuckled, “huh, less sarcastic this time” Dan laughed with you, racing back to the bed and carefully jumping on top of you, holding you tightly, peppering kisses along your neck up to your cheek before smiling down at you lovingly. “Welcome home, Y/N”

[clownsgobeepbeep]

Pure Imagination

I DID IT! I FINALLY FINISHED IT! THE NEXT RYDER DRABBLE IS HERE!

@post-itpenny @grotesquegabby Tagging you guys just so you know that I borrowed some of your characters~

Warning: Super long

Another warning: Violence and suffering~

First Second Third Fourth Fifth Sixth Seventh

Darkness.

Everything was complete darkness.

There was nothing that could be seen. There was only a musty feel to the atmosphere. Old, ancient, humid, wet, dead. There was water on the floor, it was like a sea but completely shallow, shallow enough to stand on without getting yourself soaked.

But finally, there was a light.

Ryder lifted his head up from the dirty water while he groaned and struggled to open his eyes, adjusting them to the darkness all around that contained only a single light source that was a few feet away from him. He let out a grunt and stood up, realizing that he thankfully had all of his limbs, in fact, his whole body was intact. No cuts, bruises, scratches, bites, nothing. Was he dead?

No.

He squinted his eyes and slowly walked over to the light, hearing the sound of playful little music come from it once he realized that...it was an arcade game. The box had no designs on it but pixels everywhere, and the screen of course was pixelated as well. He looked at it and pressed the start button on it, the screen giving him the option to choose only one character: himself.

He pressed the button again and saw his character standing alone in the darkness, so he moved it around while he noticed that in the top left corner, there were three hearts. He continued to move the character around before the a white rectangle appeared in the black background, then tuning in before he saw an all to familiar face that was not pixelated like everything else in the game.

"Hey, you finally woke up. I was waiting for you."

"Oh is that so? Are you so lonely Cosmos, that you retorted to playing a game with me?"Ryder asked with a frown, and Cosmos gave a soft chuckle while he shook his head.

"Lonely? If I remember correctly, I'm not the one who is all alone in the darkness. But then again, are you really alone?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, let's see. You're in front of a game, what could that mean?"

"Ah, you are going to give me a taste of my own medicine, yes?"Ryder rolled his eyes while Cosmos laughed.

"Sure, let's go with that buddy."

"What now then?"

"Alright, before you start, let's go over the rules. You can't do anything. Your only actions are jumping and running because unfortunately, trying to fight back will hurt you."

"Fight back?"

"Yup. This game is like...a race, but you're not really racing against anybody. Instead, you're just running."

"From?"

"Ryder, let me explain first." Cosmos told him, and Ryder huffed while Cosmos waved a hand and made the pixelated screen change. "Now, you are at the start right now and you need to run to the finish line."

Ryder watched as his character became smaller so that the screen could show the line with flags at the end.

"Run? Not hard."

"Ah, but that's where things get fun. It can't be a game if you're just running, right?" Cosmos chuckled once again while the little character began to run through the line. "Think of this as...Mario. But instead of running to the boss fight, the boss is chasing you. Get caught, and I can promise you that it'll be hell for you. You have three lives, lose them all, and you start all over."

"What's the boss? Let me begin so I can get this over with."

"Always so impatient...but fine. I'll let you start. Just because I want to watch how you do in my game."Cosmos shrugged, and the rectangle he was in shut off while Ryder grabbed the joysticks and watched the screen. He saw his character move around and a new icon appeared behind it and next to the flag.

A spider.

Ryder furrowed his eyebrows and deepened his frown once he saw that the whole screen shut off, and he slowly backed away to see what was wrong with it.  He eyed the entire machine and kneeled down to press one of the buttons below, hoping to have it work. Thankfully it did and in seconds the screen turned back on to show his little character, scattered around as little pixels before he heard a laugh. In the screen's darkness, he saw two purple lights which turned into a face, making his heart drop and eyes widen.

"Ryder, oh Ryder. We meet again after so long my pretty.~"

"No...it-it can't be."

"Oh, but it can."

"You're dead! The D'Vitts killed you!"

"And they decided to bring me back, just for you.~"

Ryder shook his head and backed away as the screen presented the image of Missy's face, but it blacked out once again before the screen cracked. It was then followed by the entire box which split in half to reveal Missy standing in the mess, and Ryder fell back with complete fear.

"Run."

Just like that, Ryder crawled away and jumped onto his feet, running through the water before the floor beneath him opened, making him fall down and land on something almost bouncy. He looked at what he was on, noticing that it was a complete plethora of strings all connecting in a strange pattern.

"Ya know, I never had much against ya."a voice said, and Ryder looked up to see giant purple eyes again, frightening him for a moment before he realized this was not Missy, but someone close. "I still didn't ya like because of what you were doing to my friends."

"Big guy! Why don't you be a good guy for once and let me out of here, huh? And I prom-"

"I don't want to hear shit from you."Ace interrupted, then lifting his hands which had strings come out of them. "Especially, after what you did to Lydia."

Ryder's eyes widened once he saw things climb down from the strings, and they crawled unto the strings to reveal that...he was on a spiderweb, and those were spiders. Ryder booked it out of there, but found it completely difficult for the web continued to move around. He got down and started to crawl away frantically as the spiders quickened their pace, nearly reaching him before he accidentally ripped some of the strings with his braces, falling down once again and onto another spiderweb.

He looked up and noticed that the spiders all started to jump through the tear, and he tried his best to rip the web he was currently on.

"Ripping the webs ain't gonna do anything for you."Ace laughed before one of his hands gathered up all the spiderwebs, holding them like a bag while Ryder clung onto one of them. "It's boring because there's a shit ton, so I'll make things interesting."

"You're not helping!"Ryder yelled out, and Ace gave a shrug before Ryder desperately began to climb down as he noticed the spiders dashing downwards to him. Ryder smiled once he was close to reaching the bottom of the webs, but let out a scream when something else climbed out on the exterior. It slashed at the web and grabbed ahold of his collar, and Ryder kicked around once he realized it was Missy grinning at him evilly. Once he kicked her, she released him and he fell down once again, then landing on dirt.

Ryder looked up and saw Missy hanging from the spiderwebs, though she jumped down which made Ryder run off again. He realized that he was in a forest, not too bad if he was honest. Once again, he turned back and sped up when he saw Missy crawling over towards him, her mouth having enlarged to show large fangs while the number of eyes on her face increased. He looked forwards, then skidding to a stop when something pierced the air and landed in front of him.

"An arrow!?"he exclaimed, then jumping and rolling over to the side as another arrow was shot at him, and he snapped his head up to see another of the D'Vitts friends. "Bird girl!"

"Fuck yeah! You think I was going to miss out on this fun?" Maggie replied, then lifting up the bow and arrow she was holding. "Karma's a bitch, isn't it?"

"You would- AH!"Ryder cried out, then falling once Maggie shot an arrow at his leg.

"You better run, or the spider's gonna get your tongue and boy and I going to enjoy it!"

Ryder grit his teeth and took the arrow out of his leg, then standing up as he started to run off with a slight limp. He extended his hand out so that he could have a dagger at hand, but realized that none came out, and he really had no control in this game. As he continued, Maggie shot more and more arrows, some actually catching Ryder while others were mostly to block his path and slow him down.

"Would you stop it!? I'm already having a hard time running from this bitch!"Ryder angrily yelled out, but Maggie shut him up when an arrow went right through his eye and then head which shocked him.

"Woo! Headshot! Let's see if I can get the other eye now.~"Maggie giggled out, getting ready to shoot out another arrow which had Ryder dashing away. He held the gap on his face, his hand becoming bloodied before his back was then shot, and he grit his teeth once again.

"Dammit, all out of arrows."Maggie shrugged, and before Ryder could let out a snarky remark, his eyes widened when Maggie extended her hands out and from the trees that were surrounding him. All of a sudden, birds zoomed out, intensely flapping their wings as they directed themselves towards him.

"Are you serious!?"

Soon enough, the birds all started to peck Ryder wherever they could as he swatted them away.  He was able to hit some of them away, even stab with one of the arrows that had been stuck on his shoulder, though he was thrown to the ground by the birds. All over him, they pecked and scratched before one of the birds clawed into his back, grabbing him and lifting him into the air.

"Let me go!" he shouted, then shutting his eyes when the bird hissed right into his ear, and he realized it was a vulture who  pecked at his back. Ryder squirmed around while trying to get out of its grasp, but the vulture continued flying over the woods before finding a nest in a centered area. Ryder was dropped and he fell into it, though his fall was too fast that it broke the nest and made him land somewhere else.

Ryder lifted his head up and noticed that he was in a...circus?

"So very nice of you to drop in." Ryder heard, looking up to see Cuckoo seated on a large chair with their legs crossed as they took a sip from a cup of tea. "Care for a drink?"

"I want out, now. Knowing how you are, you're not going to do anything to me."Ryder commented as he stood up and dusted himself.

"Do, anything to you? Oh dear, that's a funny thought."Cuckoo chuckled out as they stood up as well, casually approaching Ryder while sipping from their tea once again. "Need I remind you. Cosmos has been my best friend ever since I met. His mother has always been my mother. His sister has always been my sister. His niece has always been my niece. His family, is my family."

"So what?"

"So, don't be foolish and believe me merciful." Cuckoo told him, then splashing the tea on his face with a blank stare. Ryder's mouth opened as he was about to gasp feeling offended but was stopped when Cuckoo snapped their fingers and in seconds, Ryder's wrists and ankles were grabbed by ropes which harshly pulled him backwards and his back collided with something wooden. He glanced around and noticed that it was a circle, a board...perfect for-

"I've heard quite the lot how well you do with throwing daggers, or is that perhaps another talent you stole from James? A fine addition to my circus." Cuckoo chuckled before they waved their hand and had daggers appear in front of them. "You would be a perfect assistant because I would be the dagger thrower of course."

Cuckoo snapped their fingers once again and the board Ryder was on began to spin, making the clown grit his teeth.

"Is that really all you're going to do? Throw stupid daggers at me! You really are the most pathetic one of them all."he spat out, and Cuckoo gave a shrug with a sly smile.

"Perhaps I am, but I will always be better than your pathetic and sadistic self."they commented as they fixed their glove, turning around to walk away as they snapped their fingers once more to have the daggers light on fire.. "Besides, I have other business to tend to. Need I remind you, time waits for no one and currently, it is continuing as the spider grows closer."

Ryder's eye widened as he heard a loud screech outside of the circus tent meaning that Missy was indeed close, and he was stuck with nothing to do. Cuckoo snapped their fingers once again before they left, first making the daggers throw themselves at Ryder, none of them missing as the circus caught on fire. Ryder started to panic, then pulling his wrists so that he could remove himself from the throwing board, but the restraints on him were far too strong.

"Come on, come on!" he told himself, watching as the fire spread around the circus to eventually reach the board he was on. He tried blowing air at it to make it go away, but he stopped once he heard another screech, this one being very much closer.

"Looks like I finally caught up to you. This was too easy, Cuckoo is such a darling.~"

Ryder turned his head to look to the side where the circus' fiery entrance was to see that Missy was standing in it, fire going on her but not really affecting her which made his panic and desperation grow. He continued to pull his wrists as fast as he could while Missy walked over to him.

"The itsy bitsy spider, climbed up the water drought.~"

"No, no, no! F-fuck off!" Ryder yelled out, crying out in pain as the ropes on him became tighter, but just maybe...

"Down came the rain and washed the spider out." Missy continued as her hands turned into large pincers that made Ryder's heart beat even more against his chest. He shut his eyes and bit into his lip, then pulling his left hand away as hard as he could, resulting in the rope to cut it off. Ryder ignored the pain and followed with his left leg as well, cutting off his foot before he reached over and bit into the rope holding his right hand and once freed he removed the one on his right foot.

"Oh dear, leaving so soon? How sad, I was really looking forward to having my way with you." Missy shrugged as she saw Ryder cough and crawl away, trying his best to avoid the flames everywhere. "I'll get you next time then."

"Next time!? What the hell do you mean!?"Ryder yelled out, still crawling away before he felt the floor shake once. He turned to look at Missy and saw that she stomped her foot, making a crack appear on the ground before it opened everything and once again Ryer fell through, flames still surrounding him.

"Oh dear, you...all right?" a loud voice said before it was followed by a snicker. Ryder glanced up as he groaned and noticed that he was in the center of a ring of fire, his cut limbs bleeding out.

"Which fucker...am I dealing with this time?"he questioned as he looked up into the darkness above, and two yellow orbs lit up.

"Fucker? Nice one, not too good with the insults, huh?"the voice added on, revealing the giant figure that was Vespers. " Look who got caught in the spider's web after everything."

"Look who's still a stupid and sad, little bug."

"Wow, that hurt."Vespers rolled his eyes while laying his head on his palm, then giving Ryder a smile. "Anyways, whatever could I do to you?"

"Leave me."

"Hmmm, I don't think so buster. How about...we have some fun, just like last time? Do you remember how that all went?" Vespers now said with a frown, standing straight before he lifted his hands and decreased the size of the circle of fire so that it was close enough to make Ryder sweat.

"What, are you going to burn me now? Please, all of you that connect to the D'Vitts are so damn sad!"Ryder exclaimed, but he shut up once a giant dagger landed right next to his head, and he looked at Vespers with his eye widened.

"Sure, let's go with that."Vespers furrowed his eyebrows, watching as Ryder attempted to crawl away once again but another dagger landed right in front of him. He went the opposite way and was met with yet another, all the while the flames around him grew even closer and taller.

"Keep it moving asshole, I want to see just how you try to get out of this one."Vespers continued, then having another dagger fall down. Although this time, it actually landed on Ryder's leg which was sliced off, making him grit his teeth to conceal a scream.

"Just….oh shit...let me out!"he demanded but received a shake of Vespers' head.

"Oh Ryder, I don't think that's how things go."Vespers said with a few 'tsks', then reaching down to grab Ryder's severed limb and held it in his palm, then closing it before blood dripped down from his hand and onto Ryder. "You hurt Cosmos so much, and that can't be forgiven."

Several daggers all fell and landed perfectly around Ryder, outlining his bleeding body before he felt his chest be pinched. He kicked the leg that he still had, attempting to kick Vespers' fingers that held him while also scratching at him, but Vespers brought him to face level.

"Let me show you how I felt when you ripped off my wings. But, since you have no wings, I'll let you know just how our niece felt when you decided to hurt her."

Vespers turned Ryder around and grabbed his arms, then pulling on them  to see that the only things ripping were those. So, he dug his hands into his back and did not hesitated to immediately rip Ryder in half before allowing the pieces to fall into the pit of fire.

Ryder jolted up with wide eyes as he panted to himself, feeling his body wherever he could before sighing in relief. He peered down and smiled in relief, realizing that he was completely fine, his hands were there, his feet, his everything! Although, he then heard a little tune play which made him look up and see three pixelated hearts floating above him, and one of them turned black before disappearing which made him slam a fist against the ground.

"Fucking moth!" he yelled out, then standing up before another little tune sound, this one sounding happier, lively, and childish. He squinted his eyes and glanced around, finally catching sight of appeared to be a fair or carnival in the distance. Ryder rolled his eyes and turned around, knowing that going towards and in it was exactly what all those idiots wanted. So he began to walk in the opposite direction, but he stopped himself and squinted his eyes once again to look into the darkness. Soon, his eyes widened and he turned on his heel to dash away once he heard growls, running and saw Missy's purple eyes glaring at him as she ran towards him on all eight limbs. In seconds, he had reached the carnival's entrance and ran in without even looking back which thankfully lost Missy.

Ryder eventually slowed down and analyzed his surroundings, realizing that things weren't exactly bad if you were to exclude the mad spider running after him. He looked to his sides and noticed that there were several tents, carnival games, riders. Nothing harmful thankfully, and who he saw walking just a few feet away from him.

"Oh goodness, here already? Oh dear, oh dear, it appears that I don't have anything ready!" the sweet voice belonging to Ferry said as she held one of her cheeks worriedly, and Ryder mentally breathed in relief as he walked towards her.

"Oh no, oh dear, whatever will you do now?"Ryder mocked, watching as Ferry tapped a finger on her chin, pondering to herself.

"Oh, I don't know. I can't do anything like anybody else."she whispered while looking around. Her current state made her look like a little damsel who was in distress which made it even more satisfying for Ryder.

"But I can always try my very best."Ferry added on before her innocent expression disappeared and turned into a glare of utter death. Her hair turned jet black and the paint on her face dripped like blood right just as her clothes lost all traces of pastel and turned dark and gloomy. She raised her hands and Ryder felt the ground shake, so he looked down to see if crack open again.  But rather than falling down like last time, he saw hands emerge from beneath and rip even more of the floor.

"How can someone so chipper make...this!?"he yelled as he saw that the hands all belonged to clowns that crawled out from the ground. Horrible, rotting, dead clowns to be more exact. Ryder turned around once again to run from them, but he gasped when he saw Missy again. He looked at the clowns, then at Missy, then at the clowns. The clowns were a much better choice if he was being honest.

Ryder ran towards them  and regretted it once some of them clung onto him, biting and tearing wherever they could. He covered his face which only turned out with his arm braces being ripped off as his clothes were ripped, his hair messed up once again.  He let out a loud yelp once he felt an intense sting of pain on his ankle, and he looked down to see one of the clowns biting into his ankle.

"Get the fuck off!"he shouted, kicking it off as he did not want to lose another ankle. Although, he struggled as one of the clowns jumped on his back and made him fall on his face, but he still managed to take the clowns off of him once he felt a strong sense of adrenaline run through him when he saw Missy getting close. He was able to rip some of their limbs off while kicking their heads off, and he crawled far and into a nearby tent where he lay down and let out a deep breath.

But then, he heard music again.

Ryder practically jumped up and looked around, noticing that the tent was nearly empty. The only things in it were him and...a giant box that had nice little paintings on it. The music came from the box for it had a large crank on its side which happened to be cranking itself, and that's when Ryder realized what kind of a box it was.

A jack in the box.

Ryder sucked in a breath and quietly gulped, watching as the box's crank continued to move around until the music stopped playing. With that, the crank came to a stop as well and sounded with a quick 'click', Ryder then jumping back when the box's lid opened and the sides all split opened as he heard the sound of a chainsaw revving.

]"You have got to be fucking kidding me." he breathed out as he looked into the crazed eyes of none other than Pepper, who had a demented smile as he held his chainsaw.

"You ready to play asshole!? I sure am!" Pepper excitedly exclaimed, then running towards Ryder and jumping up as he lifted the chainsaw high, unfortunately missing Ryder who had dodged to the side when Pepped landed down with the chainsaw digging through the floor.

"Hey! No running! Just playing!"Pepper angrily shouted, then revving the chainsaw again which made Ryder shake his head with wide eyes before running in the opposite direction. "Come back here you fucking rat!"

"No! Fuck off! Missy's going to get you if you follow me!"

"I don't give a damn! She'd rip your ass to pieces before she even tries to get me!"Pepper continued, jumping and slicing the air for Ryder had jumped and rolled over to the side. Pepper grit his teeth while his eyes matched his suit, and he ran towards Ryder again before successfully stabbed him in the abdomen with the chainsaw.

Ryder coughed up some blood and held onto Pepper's shoulders, trying to hold him back while Pepper attempted to push the chainsaw deeper into him which made more and more blood come out.

"You fucking...psycho!"Ryder spit on Pepper's face, which only made Pepper's glare deepen, and he placed his foot on Ryder's leg to push him and pull the chainsaw back.

"I'm not crazy! You are!" And just like that, Pepper swung the chainsaw once again and sliced off Ryder's head in a single movement. His body fell to its knees just as his head did so, rolling towards Pepper's boots who were already violently snapping their jaws. Though decapitated, Ryder was able to see how a shadow emerged from the boots and ripped up his remains to them eat him.

Ryder jolted up with wide eyes as he panted to himself, feeling his body wherever he could before sighing in relief. He peered down and smiled in relief, realizing that he was completely fine, his hands were there, his feet, his everything! Although, he then heard a little tune play which made him look up and see three pixelated hearts floating above him, and one of them turned black just like the first one before disappearing which made him slam a fist against the ground.

But then he stopped himself. He literally did exactly all that just moments ago when he was killed the first time, and now he was at one life.  Ryder stood up and realized that he was surrounded by horses, fake ones. All beautifully decorated as they all appeared to be made out of porcelain and painted expensively which made him realize he was inside a carousel.

"Oh. You did die."

Ryder whipped his head around and felt his eyes glare into green ones. He could handle everything he had gone through, all the pain, torture, but not this.

"You...what the fuck are you doing here!?"

"I don't think that's any way to speak to a child."

"You're no child! You're a demon! A nuisance! A bother!" Ryder yelled out, storming through the horses as he grit his teeth at Ula who stood outside of it, staring at him apathetically. "I fucking killed you! I know I did!"

"And my mother and uncles killed Missy. What's your point?"Ula asked, blinking without a concern when Ryder was about to step out of the carousel. Although, a wall of thorny vines emerged from everywhere which made him step back with several cuts already.

"Don't even try. It's not gonna work. You get out till I say you do."Ula shrugged, snapping her tiny fingers which made the carousel begin moving while music played, and Ryder grabbed onto one of the moving horses to not fall. He walked through them again with a bit of difficulty while he tried to still reach Ula. Although once their eyes met again, Ula smiled and gave him a little wave, then conjuring up a small door from nowhere to open and crawl into it as if nothing.

"Fucking brat!"he hollered out, still holding the horses as he walked through them. He stepped out of the carousel again, but screamed when another wall of thorny vines appeared and sliced off his foot which made him fall back. Ryder looked around and grabbed onto whatever he could, realizing that as the carousel's music sped up, so did the carousel itself.

He quickly clung onto one of the poles and shut his eyes, already feeling nauseous but also...hot. Opening his eyes, he noticed that the carousel spinning ever so rapidly caused it to slowly catch on fire. Ryder covered his mouth but removed his hand, then reaching out as far as he could to the next pole, surprisingly reaching it as his arm nearly ripped off due to the fast carousel.

He pulled himself onto it, but did so too slowly which caused him to be sent flying through the horses. But finally, the carousel came to a complete and impactful stop which made him hit himself against some of the horses, breaking them in the process as he heard cracks. Ryder opened his eyes once again, groaning before everything beneath him fell, but he stayed on it to then hear a loud crash with everything breaking. Once again, he opened his eyes and noticed that the carousel was all broken and that he had landed somewhere else, hearing the same music that played at the carnival.

"Oh lookie, the so called king's arrived. Why don't you bring him out?" Ula's voice told, and Ryder cried out in pain when he saw the horses around him move and come to life, stomping all over him before dragging him out of all the debris before running off to different corners while leaving Ryder on the ground. He turned his head to the side, squinting his eyes yet again when he saw that he lay on checkered floor that never seemed to end. Sitting up, he saw a giant hand appear from what could be considered the end, and another one followed it to reveal that they belonged to Ula who leaned on her hand and smiled at him, completely smug.

"Your majesty, are you ready to play our game?" she asked, fluttering her eyelashes cutey before she snapped her fingers to make giant chess pieces fall down from the sky and thump loudly on the black and white squares. "I'll be fair just this once. Your move."

"My move...my move..."Ryder whispered in a mocking tone, crawling over to the next white square near him before he rolled over to another, seeing how a random chess piece landed right where he had attempted to go.

"What a dumb move."

"Dumb move!? You're the cheating, little-"

"This is my game, so they're my rules!"Ula shouted, then slamming her fists on the floor which made everything shake violently. "Now hurry up!"

Ryder gave her a nasty look, then crawling over to the next available white square, rolling over once again when Ula made another piece land on it.

"I'm bored!"

"Then go do something useful you brat!"Ryder spat out, seeing that Ula furrowed her eyebrows even more. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a deck of cards, then throwing them over the chessboard which made them all stand and line up in the shape of a maze. Ula then pulled out another object, a purple chess piece which was obviously much more different than the rest, and she held it in her palm before the purple faded.

“Here we must run as fast as we can, just to stay in place. And if you wish to go anywhere you must run twice as fast as that." Ula stated with a smile, lowering down the chess piece which was easily just Missy who now stood a few feet away from Ryder. "Run."

Without any hesitation, Ryder did as he was told and limped away, trying to find ways through the maze of cards. He frantically panted and crashed against the cards, not being able to stand up very well due to his missing foot, but he was still making a good distance away from Missy. At least that's what he thought, considering how this whole maze was so damn confusing. He turned the corner but immediately fell back, a chess piece having fallen in front of him.

"Wrong way. Or is it the right way? I don't know."

"Shut your mouth you rascal!"

"So rude." Ula commented as she watched Ryder limp away, completely amused before she decided to make yet another chess piece block his path. "Read the directions and directly you will be directed in the right direction."

Ryder looked up ahead, letting out a frustrated growl when signs appeared all of a sudden.

'Up.'

'Back.'

'Down.'

'Yonder.'

'This way.'

'Go back.'

'That way.'

"You have got to be fucking kidding me!"

The signs were all surrounding him and he looked around everywhere, forgetting where it was that he even came from. He heard Missy's screeches get closer just as her clawing and crawling, and he punched one of the cards in hopes that it would fall down. Surprisingly, it did, and the one behind it followed before, just like a domino effect, all of the cards fell down which left him surrounded by them all. Right when Ryder was about to cheer for himself, four chess pieces landed on the squares surrounding him.

"Oh look...the king's been captured."Ula placed a hand on her head dramatically, throwing herself over the floor. "Whatever will happen now? What will happen to the king?"

"You're going to take me the fuck out of here!"

"Hmmm, no."Ula answered, then leaning on her hand once again while she played with her hair. "The king's been surrounded, do you know what that means? Check. Mate."

Ryder shut his eyes and shrunk down ready for impact, but he opened his eyes to see that the pieces around him disappeared and there was yet another rumbling. He glanced around and turned, seeing that there was something in the distance, way too far off in the distance to see properly, and it was becoming bigger as it got closer.

"Just as knights have their steeds, and Alice has her bandersnatch..."Ula giggled out while Ryder's jaw dropped, and he turned to run as fast as he could. "I have Mana."

As Ryder limped away, a giant sized alien axolotl ran after him and for once, he didn't look happy. He had no big, curious eyes but instead ones that glared at the tiny Ryder. His big and friendly smile was gone as well, instead replaced with upset, completely angered, snapping jaws that were just eager to bite into Ryder. Eventually, Ryder tripped and fell over, but that did not stop him from hurriedly crawling away as best as he could.

What did stop him, was Mana biting his leg and dragging him backwards. Mana lifted Ryder and shook his head around which made Ryder swing everywhere, chewing and playing around just like he would with one of his toys. The alien axolotl shook him too hard which made Ryder fly off and land roughly on the ground, but Mana wasted no time and dashed over to him and bit into his foot again. One of his feet then stepped on Ryder's back and he pulled his head up which made Ryder's leg rip off once again.

Mana instantly gobbled down the leg, then biting off Ryder's remaining limbs in the same manner till he was merely a bloody torso with a head. Again.

With that, Mana opened his mouth widely, letting puddles of drool fall down right before Ryder blacked out again, Mana having eaten him.

Ryder jolted up with wide eyes as he panted to himself, feeling his body wherever he could before sighing in relief. He peered down and smiled in relief, realizing that he was completely fine, his hands were there, his feet, his everything! Although, he then heard a little tune play which made him look up and see three pixelated hearts floating above him, and one of them turned black just like the first two before disappearing which made him slam a fist against the ground.

But then he stopped himself. He literally did exactly all that just moments ago when he was killed the first time, and now he was at no lives! Wait...even that was repeated!

Ryder grumbled to himself and stood up as he found himself surrounded by water. It was just like when he first started this stupid little game. Darkness all around, shallow water, and nothing but…

"Lennie."

Ryder clenched his fists as he stared at the little clown who stood far from him. He stared at Ryder blankly as he held his hands behind his back.

"Ryder." Lennie responded, now frowning as Ryder stepped over towards him, ignoring all the water.

"Oh, Lennie, Lennie, Lennie! It is so good to see you."

"Is it now?"

"It sure is! Especially because I know how people are, they save the best for last, now don't they? If they consider you the best because of our little problem, then this must be the end."

"Well, you're right. This is it. Right behind me is the 'finish line' Cosmos told you about." Lennie informed him as he picked at his nails, and Ryder now stood in front of him. Lennie glanced up at him and Ryder glared down at him, both sharing an intense moment.

"Now, Lennie?"

"Yeah?"

"Move out of my way so I can get my trophy wife." Ryder demanded, now smirking while Lennie blinked once and gave a shrug. In seconds, Lennie had turned into water and disappeared into the one that they both stood on. Ryder cracked his knuckles before he followed with his neck, lifting a foot to walk and just as he was about to lift the other, he found himself a bit stuck. He glanced down and saw a small hand with black claws clawing into his ankle, right before Lennie emerged from the water with the deadliest of glares.

"Jelly's no trophy wife. She's my wife and if you want to get her, you go through me."he growled out and before Ryder was able to react, Lennie's hand turned into leeches that all clung onto Ryder's leg. Then, Lennie's arm followed along with his body, a complete plethora of leeches now clinging onto all of Ryder's body.

"Get off of me! You fucking leech, get off!"he started to shout, trying to remove the leeches, but it proved to be very impossible. Soon enough, Ryder screamed and dropped to his hands and knees, turning and slamming his back on the water hoping the leeches would come off. But they didn't, for instead, the leeches stung horribly. Everywhere they were, it burned and itched, so so badly Ryder could not describe the pain.

He violently grit his teeth, especially when he felt the leeches burrow themselves into his flesh after having drained out his blood. After consuming so much of it and making Ryder weaken greatly, they wanted flesh. Ryder crawled through the water, making it all splash everywhere before he finally dropped down as the leeches ate away. But then, they stopped.

The leeches finally dug themselves out landed in the water, swimming away from Ryder as he struggled to lift his head. He tried to keep his eyes open, watching the leeches all swim together and form a dark spot on the water which eventually turned into a shape, a shape that slowly started to emerge.

Ryder softly shook his head, fear coursing through his veins when he saw that the leeches did not turn back into Lennie, but they had instead formed something larger. The thing stood at six feet, appearing taller with Ryder on the water looking up at it. So many damn eyes, all so expressive and the teeth...the snout filled with teeth and a tongue of teeth.

"Please...I...I'll stop...I'll leave you and Jelly alone..."Ryder breathed out, but shut his eyes when the creature in front of him let out a loud roar. Ryder shook his head and rolled over to perhaps try and make a swim, a run, anything. But this proved to be a grave mistake because as soon as he looked up, the monster hovered above him with its large front claws which immediately came down and ripped at his chest.

The claws then went down again, scratching and clawing everywhere which made Ryder scream. Although what felt worse was when the monster made a giant gash at his stomach which poured out blood that flowed upwards if not into the water. The monster dug its claws into him, tearing out his insides and bringing them to its mouth, biting into them before throwing them around. Ryder raised a hand to defend himself, but dropped it when he coughed out even more blood and choked on it.

His vision began to blur completely as the monster continued grabbing everything inside him, eating a few pieces, discarding others. Ryder's vision went from wet and blurry, to blurry and red as the only thing he could see was his blood, right before it all went to black again.

GAME OVER ...?

[vrexemi]

For the asks, answer the multiples of ten?

(Oh dang! Alrighty!! :DD)

10: Are you allergic to anything?

Yep! I’ve got seasonal allergies, and I’m allergic to cats!

20: Do you like space or the ocean more?

S P A C E.

30: Favorite movie?

Aaaaaaaaa shoot uhhhh……dang it. Guardians of the Galaxy? 

40: Hugs or kisses?

If we’re talking Hershey’s then kisses. If not, then hugs. 

50: Can you do the splits?

Man, I wish but sadly I cannot. :(

60: Do you believe in evolution?

Yyyyyyyyeeeeaah??? ;u;

70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?

I don’t have a dog, but I have a cat, and she can sit on command! uwu

80: Some thing you wish did exist:

Hm. See D:BH type androids would be cool, but. Might not. Work. Ouuuuuuuttt X3

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?

I have been deemed a dog by my friends, but I feel like I’d be some alien honestly if that counts. 

100: A store you love?

Newbury Comics! :D

110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?

Guess probably relationship questions, though they’re not too too rare?

120: Fruits or vegetables?

Fruits yo! >:3

130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?

:( No one. Unless it is a punch of love, in which case everyone >:3

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?

Still do and I have no shame WOO! >:D

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.

Bryan Dechart, Patrick Stump, Thomas Sanders. :D

160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?

Uhhhhhh 7,878 not including this one on this one, 6 on my first dead account, 1 on my second dead account, 120 on my third dead account, 11 on my fourth dead account, and 10 on my fifth dead account! :D

170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?

Heck yeah! ;3

[epiphanies]

Fools Rush In

Based on this tumblr post that kinda sorta prompted a left at the altar groom Timmy and best man Armie AU :)

I posted this last week I think but thought I should make a separate post!

Masterlist | On AO3 | My Fic Tag

It’s an hour before the ceremony is about to start and he feels like time has slowed down, feels as if the world has stopped spinning and he struggles with his bowtie till its untied. The gesture does little for the way his heart feels too big for his chest, too heavy, the way his palms are sweating and eyes are stinging.

I can’t do this Timmy.

It’s not you, I promise. It’s me.

I wanna be sure and I’m...I’m not.

He rubs the heels of his palms against his eyes but the tears don’t seem to stop and he doesn’t know what to do. There are people waiting outside, their families are somewhere out there, working on last minute details. The bridesmaids, groomsmen, his nephew who was the ring bearer, her niece who was the flower girl, all these people who were a part of their big day and now she was gone and he didn’t know what to do.

His breath starts coming faster and he wills it to slow down before it turns into a full-blown panic attack. He tries to make a mental list of things to do, he should probably tell someone so people can go home but it's like his feet are glued to the ground and he can’t - he doesn’t-

“Timmy? Hey, you okay?”

He’s startled by the squeeze of his shoulders and turns around to face Armie who looks even more concerned. He knows what he looks like, tear-stained face, bowtie undone, helpless.

“What’s wrong?”

He inhales shakily and wipes the tears before continuing, “She’s gone.”

“Gone? What do you mean gone?”

“I mean, it’s over Armie. She left me.”

“She left you?”

“Please stop repeating everything I say,” he says, his voice hoarse and Armie looks contrite, eyes filled with concern.

“I’m sorry, I just- I don’t understand.”

He explains to him, best as he can, in choppy sentences and a choked-up voice because this was supposed to be the happiest day of his life and he feels like he still can’t compute how it took a turn. Armie says nothing, just envelops him in a hug, one hand squeezing the nape of his neck in comfort. He stays in the embrace for long moments and if he sheds a few more tears, no one has to know.

He pulls back first and glances at Armie who is unreadable except the tight clench of his jaw.

“I don’t- all these people...” he trails off, now knowing what to say and watches Armie cock his head to a side in sympathy.

“Wait here. I’m going to take care of everything okay? Just-just stay here. I’ll come get you.”

“My parents-”

“Just wait here,” Armie says, his voice leaving no room for argument, “Please?” he adds, softening his voice.

He nods, and Armie leaves him. He sits there until the sky begins to turn orange, and the air is crisp against his face. He doesn’t know what to do, so he just sits there, staring blankly ahead while his mind is racing, trying to find signs of this happening. How could he have been so stupid?

It feels like he’s been here for hours when his mother sits down beside him. She runs her fingers through his curls and he feels himself tearing up again. He clenches his jaw and blinks furiously to stop the tears from overflowing.

“I’m okay,” he lies, voice breaking.

He can see she’s been crying too when she looks at him. “No, you’re not. But that’s okay. You will be.”

“I just don’t understand-”

“Sometimes,” she pauses and heaves a sigh as she weighs her words, “Sometimes, these things don’t work out. But there’s always a reason. And good things will come out of this, okay? Just-just give it time.”

Pauline hugs him fiercely, kisses him on both cheeks and his dad ruffles his hair affectionately. But soon they’re gone, and its just him and Armie sitting on the bench till the sun sets. He breaks the silence first.

“You can go, your best man duty is officially over...I’ll be fine.”

He’s rewarded with an eye roll, “I’m not going anywhere. Lets go inside though, it's getting chilly.”

He stuffs his hands in his pockets and they walk in silence. They pass the altar and his heart twists a little at the twinkling fairy lights wrapped around the trees, the neatly arranged tables, the emptiness of it all.

“Can we sit out here for a while?” he asks Armie, whose face softens as he nods.

“Whatever you want.”

They sit down crosslegged, under the altar and Timmy exhales purposefully.

“Thank you for taking care of everything.”

He receives a soft, of course, and looks at Armie, smiling ruefully.

“Let’s get drunk,” Armie announces.

He nods, smiling a little. Fuck it, he thinks. He deserves it. He did pay for all the expensive alcohol.

“I’ll be right back.”

He takes in his surroundings. They were supposed to be having their first dance now, surrounded by friends and family, instead, all he saw were empty tables. He doesn’t get to dwell too much, because Armie is back, carrying three bottles of champagne and what looks like enough food for four people.

“We should eat,” he says before serving the food. Timmy digs in and realizes just how hungry he was and judging by how Armie was wolfing it down, so was he.

Armie pops open one of the champagne bottles and takes a swig before handing it to Timmy.

“Drink up,” he orders, jokingly.

Timmy rolls his eyes and follows anyway. They pass the bottle back and forth and after the fifth time he drinks it, he feels his eyes stinging again.

“I don’t know why I keep crying,” he says in between shaky breaths. Armie just holds him close, his fingers buried in Timmy’s hair, rubbing small circles.

He pulls back and gratefully accepts the napkin Armie holds out, wiping his face and nose, feeling drained.

“We’d have had our first dance by now.”

Armie pulls out his phone he wonders what the other man is doing, before the song starts playing.

“Dance with me?” Armie asks, offering his hand.

“You’re dumb, this is dumb,” he says, his voice devoid of heat, even as he grabs Armie’s hand.

“The dumbest,” Armie agrees, mock-serious, pulling him closer.

They sway aimlessly, barely dancing, till Armie twirls him around, and he huffs out a small laugh, as he faces Armie again.

He looks at the unreadable look in Armie’s eyes and wraps his arms around Armie’s neck, fingers clasped at the nape of his neck. The warmth of Armie’s palms seems to seep through his tux and it feels like he’s sixteen again, pining over his best friend. Sixteen-year-old Timmy would’ve lost his shit. It’s been nine years since, and he’s found out Armie didn’t return his feelings but right now, swaying to the music, looking at Armie who’s looking back at him like he’s the most important thing, it feels like he’s sixteen again and Timmy feels his face flush.

Maybe it’s the alcohol that’s fueling him, but he breaks the silence.

“You wanna know something?”

“What?”

Armie’s voice is almost a whisper as if speaking any louder would shatter this moment. He swallows nervously before continuing.

“You’re the only other person I’ve ever wanted to do this with.”

They’re not swaying anymore, and as soon the words spill out of his mouth, Timmy’s hands fall to his sides, and he bites his lip, chagrined. He shouldn’t have said anything.

“What?”

He looks up, and Armie has a wild look in his eyes, half shocked and half something. He can’t tell, and it scares him. He nods, not knowing what else to say.

“You never said-”

“I heard you telling Pauline you didn’t like me back...I didn’t want to ruin this,” he says, gesturing between them.

He watches as Armie takes a deep breath and runs his hands through his hair, dreading what’s about to come next.

“I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember,” Armie says, looking tortured.

He’s sure he misheard it. He’s absolutely sure, till he sees Armie looking at him, eyes soft even in their sadness, the corner of his mouth curved up, and he realizes what that unreadable look has always meant. I love you. I’m in love with you and kills me that you’re not. It’s the same look he’s probably given Armie a thousand times.

He doesn’t know how to feel about this, it’s too many emotions all at once and he was exhausted, to begin with.

“I-”

“Can I kiss-”

He doesn’t know when the yes slips out, but then Armie is kissing him and he can’t seem to think of anything else. It feels warm, safe and Armie’s hands are still on his waist, but they’re impossibly close now. Timmy cups his jaw, kissing him back, softly. Armie tastes like the expensive champagne they just downed, smells like cologne and feels like home. It feels both familiar and unfamiliar because while they’ve never kissed, this is a body he knows, from playing football after school, or reading the newest comic, or hiding out in the treehouse till it was time for dinner or from the time he broke his foot and Armie walked him everywhere, refusing to leave him alone, from the time Armie got chicken pox and he’d sneaked in and slept over so they could have chicken pox together. That one hadn’t gone down well with either of their parents, but they’d spent the week playing video games and he couldn’t find it in him to complain.

They break apart after long moments and he can’t help but feel nervous. He looks at Armie who looks struck, eyes wide in what looks like surprise. They sit next to each other at an empty table and it's a while before anyone speaks.

“I don’t-”

“We should-”

He huffs out a laugh and runs a hand through his hair. “You go first.”

“I didn’t mean,” he hears Armie begin and it feels like his heart is breaking, he feels fragile and he must’ve given something away because Armie moves closer and cups his face.

“God no, that’s not-I’m not doing this right, sorry. I’m nervous.”

He can’t find it in himself to respond and watches, as Armie continues.

“We should, we should take this slow. I mean, I don’t want to fuck this up.”

“Okay,” he agrees, because this is important, so important and he wants to do it right.

“I’m going to woo you,” Armie says, the full force of his blinding grin directed at Timmy and oh god he’s not going to survive this.

“Oh you’re going to woo me?”

“Yeah, I’m going to woo the shit out of you. No sex for three months.”

He can’t help but laugh at that and then laugh some more at how affronted Armie looks.

“Fine, no sex for a month,” Armie concedes and Timmy is fighting a grin.

“We’ll see about that.”

“I want to do this right,” Armie’s voice is soft, almost shy and he feels like his heart is suddenly too big for his chest.

He intertwines their fingers, tracing the back of Armie’s hands with his thumb.

“Me too.”

[birdiethebibliophile]

{fic} That Old Sweet Feeling (part 1)

Fandom:  The Adventure Zone:  Commitment Rating:  T Chapter Warnings:  None Relationship:  Nadiya Jones/Mary Word Count:  1,481

Here on AO3.

I was going to wait until I'd relistened to TAZ: Commitment before posting this, but hey, what the hell. I'm going to try to be updating this at least somewhat more regularly than my normal schedule of... not a schedule. So let me know if you want to be tagged!

Summary:  

The wonder triplets plus their Christian supervillain hacker girl are on the run. Fun times, romance, and team bonding. Also unbelievable cuteness and maybe a touch of angst.

__________________

By Nadiya’s count, it had been nine days since she’d first been told she landed the position at the Do-Good Fellowship. Five days since they had arrived at the ‘Berg via skimmer. Four since she’d gained what could broadly be labelled “superpowers” and arrested a seditionist – seditioner? whatever. Two since she and her companions (Remy, Kardala, and Mary Sage) had had to get the heck out of Dodge to avoid going from scientist to experiment.

“Could you please keep it down?” she said in the most annoyed voice she could possibly manage. “I’m trying to drive.”

“I said I’d do it,” Mary Sage complained from the passenger seat.

“You’re, like, a religious wacko, and that doesn’t even factor into the top ten reasons you aren’t driving,” Nadiya snapped back.

“What does religion have to do with anything?”

“Everything,” Nadiya replied cryptically, jerking the steering wheel to the left and narrowly avoiding a bright yellow SCHOOL ZONE sign. “Also, you may or may not still have a concussion.”

Nadiya had taken the wheel out of necessity. Mary Sage had been coughing up blood, Remy said he’d failed his driver’s test five times, and Kardala (though she admitted Irene could drive, and drive well) declared that she cared not for the so-called rules and had run three red lights before Nadiya had banished her to the backseat. Nadiya technically had a license. She did. It was just that she hadn’t used it in, what, six years? Like she was spending her hard-earned cash on a gas-guzzling car when she had a faculty bus pass.

“I thought we’d decided my head was fine,” Mary Sage groused, slumping down in her seat. Her round, green-framed glasses were perched on the end of her up-tipped nose, the close-set freckles on her arms blending into a veritable mass of orange-brown at her folded arms, her hair just as red and wild as it had been in Halleluland.

“Your head is, in any and all ways, not fine,” Nadiya stated, thoughts still on Mary Sage’s hair. Sure, they were on the run, but would it kill her to use Remy’s pick?

Speaking of Remy, he was practically bouncing again, in a way that made the whole car shake now that he had kinetic energy built into his cells – or something like that. She hadn’t exactly had time to parse what the fuck was going on with the stimplants yet, what with being on the run. “Are we almost there?” he asked for the fifth time in the hour.

Nadiya groaned. “Ask Kardala.”

“The cabin is still many leagues away,” Kardala told the car at large. Large was right, Nadiya thought. They had, erm, commandeered the biggest car they could find on such short notice, a ridiculous exhaust-spewing distastefully off-white Range Rover, and Kardala’s head was still skimming the ceiling. Nadiya had delicately suggested Kardala shift into her “Irene prison” for the duration of the drive, but Kardala had outright refused. This also had the effect of squishing Mary Sage practically against the dashboard so Kardala had enough legroom. “Into the mountains.”

“Can’t you let Irene out for, like, five minutes so she can give me better directions?” Kardala had drawn a path on a map Nadiya had grabbed once they’d reached Kansas, but it was very… vague. Mostly, she’d been going on Kardala’s intuitions, which was a lot of Kardala pointing and Nadiya having to make hairpin turns at the absolute last minute.

“Kardala does not submit to anything or anyone –” Kardala started, but was interrupted by Remy.

“Stop! Stopstopstop.”

Nadiya hit the brakes, hard, skidding to the side of the street, and turned in her seat to glare at Remy. “What.”

“7-Eleven! Gotta get me some Dew.” Remy was out of the door and halfway to the convenience store before Nadiya had even shut the engine off.

“I, too, would like to partake of the Dew of which he speaks,” Kardala pronounced, unwedging herself from the backseat. “Do you know if the 7-Eleven has strombolis?”

“They probably have hot dogs,” Mary Sage said. “Dammit. I was super hoping for, like, something that wasn’t microwaveable. Whatever.”

Nadiya thought about attempting to actually park the Range Rover, then decided that it, unlike most things, was probably beyond her ability, so she shut the engine off. “I guess we do need supplies. You coming?”

“Might as well.” Mary Sage slammed her seat back, stretched her legs with a groan, and got out of the car. “You got any cash?”

“I spent the last of it yesterday, but I have my credit card –”

“Uh, no.” Mary Sage cut her off. “That’s how they getcha. They can track that shit, you know. It’s fine, whatever, I got it.”

Nadiya rolled her eyes and got out of the car, following Mary Sage over to the 7-Eleven. More specifically, to the ATM outside. “Gimme a sec.” Mary Sage squinched her eyes almost shut. “Cameras disabled.” Then, suddenly, the ATM whirred and bills started pouring out of the slot.

“Nice,” Nadiya said in appreciation, gathering up the large stack of twenties and stuffing them into a pocket in her vest.

Mary Sage unsquinched her eyes and shrugged. “’T’s what Space Cadet does,” she said. “I guess. Oh, shit.”

The last statement was directed into the store, where both of them could see their companions causing what appeared to be, for all intents and purposes, a ruckus.

Nadiya stormed in. “Kardala! What the fuck?”

“This little man is refusing Kardala her hot dogs!” Kardala roared, pointing in indignation at the cashier, who was cowering behind the counter.

Nadiya stepped up and slapped a few twenties on the counter. “Five hot dogs enough?” she snapped at Kardala.

Kardala glowered. “That will be sufficient for now.”

“I got my Dew!” Remy bounced to the counter and set down a two-liter bottle of Mountain Dew. “Gotta get that good good juice!”

“Please never say that again,” Nadiya said. “Mary? Anything for you?”

Mary Sage plopped three bags of Ruffles, a package of beef jerky, and a Diet Coke onto the counter. Nadiya nodded. “So, all of that, and an extra-large black coffee,” she told the still-cowering cashier. When he didn’t respond, she snapped her fingers in his face. “Hey. Hey. Get it together.” Mary Sage snickered from beside her.

That seemed to jolt the cashier from his Kardala-induced shock. “Y-yeah, sure, sorry,” he stammered, scanning the items at what could only be described as the speed of light and shoving a small stack of hot dogs into Kardala’s hands and a cup of coffee into Nadiya’s.

Nadiya nodded briskly, handed over the appropriate amount of inappropriately obtained twenty-dollar bills, and led the way out of the 7-Eleven. They had almost reached the Range Rover again when Mary Sage froze, her hands clenching on her bags of Ruffles. “Shit! He’s calling the feds!” She whirled around, and they could see through the door as the cashier’s phone exploded in his hand.

Remy’s eyes were very wide. “Did it go through?”

“I think so. We gotta go!” Ignoring Nadiya’s protests, Mary Sage commandeered the driver’s seat. “Everyone in!”

They all piled in the car, and Kardala had barely closed the door when the engine roared to life and Mary Sage slammed down on the gas pedal. Nadiya swore, clutching the seat. “At least let us have a second to buckle in if you’re going to drive like a maniac!”

“No time!” Mary Sage swerved around a corner, and Nadiya was pretty sure the car went up on two wheels. “They’ll be here any second!”

“Aw, c’mon,” Remy said from where he was half-squished against Kardala. “Now you’re just being paranoid. Even they can’t –” He was interrupted by the sound of helicopter blades. “I guess they can. Uh. How?”

“They must’ve been monitoring the channels. We’re not going to be able to outrun ‘em, and I can’t control copters.” Mary Sage glanced at Nadiya – and grinned. “Looks like we’re going to have to fight. Ready for that, Reed Richards?”

Nadiya groaned. “Fuck you, Space Cadet.”

Remy wrenched his Mountain Dew open and chugged half of it. “WOO! Time to blow stuff up!” he said, giving his head a quick shake, his gaze more focused than before. “Kardala, you wanna blow stuff up?”

“Kardala does indeed!”

The two of them were out of the car before Nadiya could suggest that maybe, maybe, they could come up with a plan. “We gotta go after them,” Mary Sage said. “That copter’s more than a hundred yards away, and I just bet they’re useless without their powers, right?”

“You have no idea.” Nadiya stumbled out of the passenger side of the Range Rover, got her footing, and changed her left hand into a blade. “Are you ready, Gospel Girl?”

“That’s worse than Space Cadet.” But Mary Sage grinned again. “Hell, yeah. Let’s fuck up the feds.”

[britneyreviewed-blog]

“From The Bottom Of My Broken Heart”

The Taboo Fantasy of a Pop Star Turned Porn Star, or: Britney Spears Is The Devil

Released: 12/15/1999 Directed by Gregory Dark Rating: 3.5/5

This week I’m watching “From The Bottom Of My Broken Heart,” the fifth single off Britney’s debut album ... Baby One More Time. I thought I’d review a ballad this time for a change of pace. I was surprised again at yet another narrative-driven video, although it makes sense that there’s not a whole lot of dancing going on given the tempo. Still, I keep anticipating one that’s like basically one big choreographed routine shot from different angles. Maybe next week.

One big difference that sets “From The Bottom” apart from “Womanizer” and “Toxic” is how on the nose it is. “Womanizer” is about a womanizer, but the plot diverges from what is happening in the lyrics. “Toxic” is even more abstract, using the literal interpretation of the title while telling the story of a stewardess/super villain bent on poisoning her unfaithful lover. “From The Bottom” is a song about losing your first true love, and that is exactly what the music video is about too.

The story behind the video is a bit of a tragicomedy, according to Wikipedia. Director Gregory Dark was instructed to do damage control after the sexy schoolgirl stuff of “... Baby One More Time” had “tainted” Britney’s image by making something more innocent and serious. Unfortunately, after this video was released, it came out that Gregory Dark had previously had a prolific career directing porn!! Seriously. Britney’s spokesperson claimed they had no knowledge of his pre-music video directing days, but the damage was done. Everyone proceeded to FREAK the FUCK out, no one more than Alec Hanley Bemis writing for LA Weekly.

Before I dive in to his dumbass article called “The Devil in Miss Spears,” I just want to point out that at the time it was published, Britney had just turned eighteen exactly two months before. I wanted to just pull out a few quotes, but it’s so fucking asinine that I ended up with this annotated abridged version.

Is it her lack of musical talent that people find distressing? Well, sure, that’s part of it. At the moment, competition in the diva-lite field is particularly intense, with Christina Aguilera, Mandy Moore and Jessica Simpson among the bodacious blond teens competing for Billboard dominance.

I keep running across people that say Britney is a bad singer, and I whole-heartedly disagree. I think she lacks conventional, clean vocals, but that’s what gives her an edge over I guess fucking MANDY MOORE. Not to hate on Mandy but like get real Alec you were so wrong about this????

Spears’ new video, “From the Bottom of My Broken Heart,” puts her on the fast track to adulthood. The clip finds her leaving her old boyfriend behind and taking a bus to somewhere . . . But where? Who‘s in bed with Britney now? ... [T]he only verifiable fact we have to work with is that Spears has started running with a darker L.A. crowd.

“Who’s in bed with Britney now?” Sounds like a really awkward way to segue from talking about a wholesome, boring as shit music video to talking about porn but OK. Those first two sentences are the only two sentences Alec writes about the video in this article that is supposedly about the video. 

One piece of evidence is that her new video is directed by Gregory Dark, a triple-threat writer, director and producer known not only for his work on videos by bands like Orgy and the Melvins, but for a 15-year-plus career as a groundbreaking pornographer. A former film-school student at both Stanford and NYU, Dark is renowned for crafting the most decadent XXX on the market. As Hustler writes, “Dark‘s movies are more like nightmares. Twisted and fevered . . . Every treat has a gooey center, but beware the few that slip past containing the occasional jagged piece of glass.” The titles of his movies alone -- White Bunbusters, Fallen Angels, The Devil in Miss Jones 3: A New Beginning -- hint at a possible chronology for Spears’ career in days to come. Will this Cinderella sully the slipper? Will we all eat glass?

My favorite part is how he acknowledges that he is projecting puritanical Disney princess level expectations on to this grown woman and somehow feels justified in punishing her when she doesn’t live up to them. Also, because one of her music videos was directed by a guy who used to direct porn, she is now going to become a porn star and not only that, but her becoming a porn star will result in the equivalent of forcing a bunch of people to eat glass. Sure, Alec.

Spears already has a history of questionable decisions. ... At Dodger Stadium‘s Wango Tango event this past summer, Britney spiced up her 20-minute set by wearing shiny black leather pants and what can only be described as an elastic breast hammock. This brought to mind the questions surrounding her contemporaneous “knee” surgery and the unusual swelling that accompanied it. Say, around chest level.

I have nothing to say about this, just wanted to show y’all the scandalous “breast hammock”:

He says some other fucked up shit but let’s just skip to the end.

Now that Spears’ album has Soundscanned a startling 11 million copies, it‘s time to admit that the new teen pop isn’t heavily coded XXX made for and marketed to teenagers. In fact, it‘s explicitly made and marketed as such. “From the Bottom of My Broken Heart” contains no avant-garde film techniques, but Britney’s lips glisten so . . . Speaking frankly, this light in our lives hurts us, from the fire in our loins to the bottom of our broken hearts.

First of all, I wanted to tear my eyeballs out after reading that last sentence, so I’m sorry for subjecting all of you to that. But what the fuck? Basically he is saying that his sexual attraction to her is her fault and HURTING HIM and everyone else who is attracted to her and just what in the fuck are you DOING. Second of all, I don’t even know how to explain how fucking ridiculous it is to act like “From The Bottom” is even remotely pornographic (and honestly Alec can’t either, other than point out that she’s wearing lip gloss which somehow makes this some X rated shit) other than write a long ass blog post about it, which is exactly what I planned to do anyway, so buckle up.

The video opens with a quick shot of her on this swing and then we jump right into the story. Britney hauls out a giant blue suitcase and hugs her mom and sister goodbye. 

We then get a quick shot of Britney lying in this field of sunflowers, which is basically the Diamond Britney of the video—the nondiegetic shot where she rolls around singing with the sole purpose of looking good.

We rewind a little bit to see Britney packing her bags. I have to say that while the story is boring as shit, the way of telling it is at least livened up a little by the nonlinear timeline.

Oh, we also get a quick cut to Britney on the swing again, which serves as the second Diamond Britney of the video.

OK, back to her packing. In terms of rebuilding her “good girl” image, they’re definitely trying, with the cutsey room and the doll and everything.

Two things really bother me about that last shot: one, what the heck is her doll doing out of her suitcase! We JUST saw her pack it. Two, what the heck is this yellow sphere that she lovingly looks at? I guess only true 90s kids will remember.

We get a few shots of her sitting on the porch, first alone with her suitcase and her cute ass hat, and then with her First True Love. Then, just before the chorus kicks in, there’s this series of weird ultra fast cuts where you can’t actually register what’s in the frames. I tried to capture them using the super advanced technology of hitting the screen capture command as quickly as I could. I managed to catch two of the frames: One of her bedroom wall, and one of this butterfly.

Then flashbacks of her relationship with her First True Love begin, interspersed with Porch Britney and Swing Britney and Sunflower Britney singing. Woo!

First, they run like dinguses and then they climb up this wooden water tower (?) in the middle of the night. Romantic!

The chorus kicks in, “You were my first love, you were my true love / From the first kisses to the very last rose,” and right when she sings “rose” there’s a shot of her in a garden of roses. Wowee zowee!

Then the next flashback segment starts, this time with them goofing off on a football field at night. Also, a quick shot of Britney back on the water tower but this time by herself. Sad.

The whole video is worth it just for this shot of Britney making this face.

Seriously though, if I’ve learned anything from doing this blog so far, it’s that Britney is goofy as hell, and it seems like she can’t resist hamming it up at least a little bit in every video, even in this ultra melodramatic serious one.

A couple shots of them cuddling then brings us to present day Britney waiting at a bus stop.

For the next minute or so, the video definitely drags. Nothing new happens, besides Britney singing in front of the big Cedar Springs billboard (without the hat on for some reason). There’s more of her canoodling with her First True Love on the porch and on top of the water tower.

The more I look at these stills, the more I realize there was an effort to tie together some of the visuals—the sunflowers from the field also appear on the billboard and by the bus stop, and the billboard has an illustration of that wooden water tower.

Sunflower Britney makes a couple more goofy faces with a flower on her head.

Back to the water tower AGAIN, switching back and forth between Britney alone and with her First True Love.

Uh oh, looks like he’s got something mischievous planned by the look on his face...

HAHA! He pranks the shit out of her by shining a flashlight on his face. It totally charms her and then they kiss.

Also she’s got this sick purple eye shadow on.

Finally we get things moving with a little drama. Britney and her First True Love break up on the porch, and FTL does some horrible pantomiming of grief. Then he gets up and leaves and Britney can barely even muster sadness, she just looks exhausted and honestly after that display I don’t blame her.

Back in the present day, the bus arrives. For some reason it’s nighttime in the first shot but then returns to daylight when Britney boards.

She looks back one last time before she gets on and the bus pulls away. But wait!

Her First True Love pulls up in his red Jeep, but he’s too late. Blast! He kicks the dirt (unfortunately couldn’t get any good stills of that) and then he makes these faces, which I guess express how much despair he feels.

There’s this extra weird shot with racking focus that shows the billboard behind him and I’m not sure why it’s in there but it’s hilarious.

Britney, who is definitely superior at facial acting, pouts on the bus.

Finally, the video comes to an end with two shots of Britney walking away from the swing, bringing us full circle.

I actually did enjoy this video more after watching it more than once, but I still think it’s pretty boring. The best parts are when Britney is being goofy, but it also goes against the tone the video seems to want to establish. Ultimately, it’s a lot less self-aware than “Toxic” and “Womanizer” and I think that’s what holds it back. I appreciate even more all the creative liberties and risks that “Toxic” took after a video like this which takes no risks and lacks creativity. The layered flashbacks kept it from being a total snoozefest, but they also were repeated too many times and they definitely reused footage at least once. So, with my totally made up rating system, I give it a 3.5 out of 5.

After watching that, can you believe the nerve of Alec Hanley Bemis? I guess I already devoted enough time to talking about what a fool he is, but going over this video in depth just really drive home the point that Britney, even at this super early point in her career, was totally doomed when it came to the media’s expectations of her. She was at once a totally manufactured fake puppet being controlled by the music industry, and also fully autonomous and responsible for being a big ol’ nasty breast hammock wearing slut.

Thanks for reading, and check back next Thursday, when I review Gimme More.

Resources “From The Bottom Of My Broken Heart” official music video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHPnGqXXUmI “From The Bottom Of My Broken Heart” Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/From_the_Bottom_of_My_Broken_Heart Alec Hanley Bemis’ LA Weekly article from 2000: http://www.laweekly.com/music/the-devil-in-miss-spears-2131598

[suckerfordeansfreckles]

A Match made in Heaven 1

Pairing: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Read on AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/11987772/chapters/27118239

Summary:  Dean’s little brother Sammy has been talking about a girl a class above him for about two weeks non-stop. 11-year-old Sam admires Claire Novak and desperately wants to be her friend, so he and Dean start planning how to make a friendship happen between them.  

When Sam and Claire finally become friends, Dean coincidentally meets Claire’s big brother Castiel and falls head over heels for the gorgeous, blue-eyed boy. From that moment on, Sam and Claire are the ones helping Dean to woo Cas. The whole process naturally involves lots of pining, awkward flirting and a constantly blushing Dean. 

Note: This is my first ever multi-chapter fic. I don’t really know whether to post every chapter on here or to just let you guys know whenever I add a new one on AO3. I’d be super thankful about suggestions! :)

This is PART 1:

Dean has just placed the hot bowl of spaghetti on the table when he hears his little brother closing the front-door. He and his 11-year-old brother Sammy have been living together in their own little apartment for a year. When their parents died in a car accident five years ago, they lived with their uncle Bobby until Dean’s eighteenth birthday last year. With his birthday, he finally became Sam’s legal guardian. He has worked hard to reach that point, quit school with 16 and started working as a mechanic to save money to provide a home for himself and his little brother and saved money for Sammy’s education ever since.

 The last year has worked out pretty great for them and Dean is proud of how he’s able to balance being a big brother, a mom and a dad to Sam, all at the same time. He’s working at a garage from morning till late afternoon, but still manages to take care of Sam in the mornings to, pack him a snack for school, get home to cook dinner for them and spend the rest of his afternoon and evenings with Sammy. Because of his working hours, Sammy has to spend some hours at their uncle’s house every day, but both he and Bobby enjoy their time together, so Dean doesn’t feel that bad about leaving Sam with Bobby.

 About two months ago he started picking up night-shifts at a bar two streets away, because it’s easy to run short on money with a kid that grows two inches every month and needs new clothes regularly. The fact that Dean would be able to sprint back home from the bar anytime Sammy needs him and it wouldn’t take longer than 6 minutes- not that he tested this theory…-  doesn’t make him feel less awful about leaving his baby brother alone at night. The thing is, he really wants to be able to provide Sam everything he needs and wants, so he eventually has to stop worrying so much about him. Sam is old enough to be on his own sometimes, anyways.

 Dean places two plates and cutlery on the table when Sam enters their little kitchen, a big, gummy smile plastered on his face. It’s the fifth time over the course of the last two weeks that Sammy has come home with a dreamy look and a secret smile on his face. He acts way sneakier than he has to, considering that Dean definitely knows what, or rather who, has him smiling like that. To be honest, he has already heard so many different stories about that “fierce, super cool” girl a grade above Sam and her “kind smile and courage”, that he’s a tiny bit annoyed about his brother’s admiration for her. He suspects that Sam has a tiny crush on this Claire, but every time he brings it up, Sam denies just that.  Sammy says that he simply wants to befriend her because she seems like an amazing person and would surely be cool to spend time with.

 To be honest, Dean is less annoyed about Sammy admiring her than about the fact that the boy doesn’t just go talk to Claire. If she’s as nice as Sammy makes him believe she is, there shouldn’t be any problem with that at all.

 “Dean, can I tell you what happened today?” Sam asks, sighing happily as he plops down on a chair.

 “You know I love to hear about your day, buddy! Was it Claire?” Dean winks at his blushing brother, handing him a bowl. “Grab some spaghetti before they get cold, though. I made your favorite vegetable sauce, by the way.”

 “Aw yes! Thanks, De.”

 The kitchen is filled with clattering until Sam’s bowl is filled up to the brim with noodles and he starts talking again.

 “So, get this. Claire smiled at me today! She dropped one of her books on the way to her classroom and I picked it up to hand it back to her- and she thanked me and smiled!! And I’m sure it was directed at me, this time,” Sam beams while he rolls up some spaghetti with his fork.

 “Awesome, Sammy! Did you talk to her?” Damn, Sammy’s excitement is just too cute for Dean to keep being annoyed.

 “Well, not really. You know I don’t know how to start a conversation with her. She’s just so cool and she’s a year older than me, Dean! She’ll probably laugh at me…,” Sam mumbles, eyes fixed on his bowl of food.

 “Come on, you told me she’s super nice and friendly! I’m sure she won’t laugh at you if you’d just try to approach her. She should be honored by you trying to be her friend,” Dean says with a serious face. “You need some help with that? You know I’d do everything for you.”

 “Would you really help me? That would be so cool!” And there’s the excited puppy expression (Dean secretly loves) back on his face once again. “I mean, you have loads of experience with people. Maybe with your help we could be friends!”

 That earns him a fond smile of his big brother. “Sure thing, Sammy! We can plan how we’re gonna win her over after dinner.”

 On the next morning, Sam leaves home with not only one, but two slices of Dean’s homemade apple pie. The first step in their plan to approach Claire was for Sammy to offer her some of his food at lunch time. Dean hopes that she’ll accept it and they finally start talking over some food. Last night, they made a list about everything Sam knows Claire likes and decided to just go from there and hope for the best. Some small presents, nice gestures and food should probably be enough. Sammy is nice, funny and considerate Dean doesn’t doubt that Claire is going to like him a lot, as soon as she gets to know him.

   If the big smile Sammy shows as soon as he enters their apartment on that evening means anything, step one seems to have worked quite well.

 “We actually talked, De! It worked, you’re a genius,” Sam shouts and Dean has his arms full of his gangly, nerdy, little brother even before the latter bothered to get rid of his shoes or his raincoat.

 Before he can let go of him, his puppy of a brother starts bombarding him with questions. “Okay, so what’s next? What are we gonna do tomorrow? Do you think we could actually become friends, though??”

 Goddammit, Dean loves his overexcited little brother so much.

  “How about we bake her some cookies?”

Here’s PART 2 !

Tag list: @planetahmane @th3se-tacos-taste-funny-to-you @agathamorse@justyourordinaryfangirl @castielinparadise @carefreegirlat221b @trxye-sxvxn

If you want to be tagged in future fics, let me know with a short message :)

[funnelhacksecrets]

What Is a Value Ladder & Why Your Business Needs One

New Post has been published on https://funnelhacksecrets.net/what-is-a-value-ladder/

What Is a Value Ladder & Why Your Business Needs One

The point of any business is to offer a beneficial product or service to the customer. However, of course, the business also needs to be profitable in order to thrive.

Unfortunately, there are many great businesses out there that either struggle or go under, simply because they are not making a profit.

Fortunately, with a few clever tweaks, an unprofitable business can often be turned around to become highly profitable with the use of a value ladder.

What is a value ladder and how can you incorporate one into your business?

What Is a Value Ladder

A value ladder is basically a system in which you have an offer to get the customer in the door, followed by a series of additional products that you will offer the customer a little further down the line.

Each additional product you offer the customer is the next step up in your value ladder and must fulfil three requirements:

Be of value to the customer

Have a perceived value by the customer as more valuable than the previous offer

Have a higher ticket price than the previous offer

This way, you are introducing offerings with greater value to the customer in order to give them a greater experience with you and your business.

By doing this, it will be natural to then get the customer to purchase more from you, in turn making your business more profitable.

This article will give you a good understanding of the value ladder and some ideas of how you can use them too.

However, if you want to successfully incorporate one into your business and make a big difference to your income then get the free Dotcom Secrets book here which shows you how to do it.

The Strategic Importance of a Value Ladder

I thought it would be helpful to elaborate further on the strategic importance of a value ladder through the use of this video by Jan Jegan.

Jegen states that a value ladder is a manner of gradually making your business more profitable while offering your customers more value over time.

See also: How to get Traffic to your offers

The first step of the ladder is an incentive, such as a free or heavily discounted offer. Jegen calls this the ‘bait’. It is also often called a lead magnet or a freebie. Such an offer is designed to woo your customers into doing business with you.

So, the next time you encounter a company offering free or discount coupons, then it could be part of their value ladder! If the offer attracts the attention of customers, then the ball is definitely rolling.

Since the video gives the example of a dentist, I will use it as well for the sake of simplicity.

The bait, in this case, will be free teeth cleaning offer. If the customer is satisfied with the offer and the service provided, this will lead to two things:

A level of trust will be established

Repeat business is likely

Those who return will take the next step on the value ladder when they are offered a higher priced product. Therefore, we can safely assume that the initial step of the value ladder is the most crucial one.

Now the first step of the value ladder should be clear with the help of the above video, I will tell you about the next steps on the ladder.

Entice Your Customers with the Next Steps on Your Value Ladder

Step 2: Initial Offer

If we continue with the dentistry example, then the second step might involve teeth cleanings twice a year.

If you are a dentist, then you can, of course, use your own offerings. These are just examples. This stage is also known as the ‘front end offer’ according to Jegen.

This step makes sense for a number of reasons. Firstly, it is a natural progression from the first step.

Secondly, offering teeth cleanings on a bi-annual basis ranks higher in terms of the price and the perceived value as well.

Thirdly, it is also likely to cover the costs of any promotions offered as bait. We can conclude that the reason for the customer’s second visit is the next step of the process.

See also: The best copywriting software program to write your sales scripts

Step 3: First Tier

The third step is called the ‘first tier’ or the ‘middle priced offer’. At this point, the onus is on the customers to approach your business and seek specific services.

With regards to a dentist, this may be a teeth whitening appointment. Getting your teeth whitened is neither a run of the mill procedure nor is it done regularly.

Typically, patients will be required to visit the dentist for multiple sessions before the process is complete.

This falls in line with the price and value axis. Teeth whitening is more valuable than the routine teeth cleaning procedure.

It is certainly more expensive and has more mileage than your standard teeth cleaning.

See also: How to deliver the perfect webinar and make sales

Step 4: Second Tier

This step may also be referred to as the ‘continuity program’. At this point, the services you are providing will not be average and the same can be said about your customers.

Only those who want more expensive services will call you.

For instance, if you’re a dentist, then patients may schedule an appointment because they need retainers. According to MedicineNet, retainers are custom made devices and often necessary after active orthodontic treatment. More importantly, they ensure that your teeth remain in position.

The reason I digressed is to show you that not every patient will require retainers. In fact, only a small number of customers will. This also means that they may rank higher on the price-value spectrum.

Step 5: Top Tier

The final step on the value ladder is known as the ‘high-end offer’ or the ‘back end’. As the title suggests, this is the uppermost service that a business can provide.

In the case of a dentist, it may be the filling of a cavity or a root canal procedure. The fifth step is where the price is the highest and so is the value. The patient will have a pressing need that the dentist will address and the dentist will be well compensated for this.

See also: How to launch a successful business in 30 days

Setting the Right Prices On Your Value Ladder

I believe the central aim of a value ladder is to maximize customer value. However, pricing plays an integral role in this equation as it increases the clients’ perception of value and also makes the business more profitable.

I will move away from the dentist example and use another business to illustrate the significance of pricing.

Imagine a scenario where you are looking for a gym membership. Also, presume that you will also look for a personal trainer once you are a member.

Now, if there is a gym that is offering an exciting package for a limited time, it may grab your interest. The bait might be a free training session with a personal trainer. Every step beyond that will include a new, higher price.

The initial offer may be something like a paid training plan for members whereas the first tier may involve a paid meal plan and nutritional advice as well.

By now I’m sure you get the gist of it: a second tier offer may include a subscription to classes while a top tier step might be a yearlong enrolment in training sessions.

What we need to understand about the value ladder is that the pricing is imperative. The price is directly proportional to the steps on the value ladder. It builds up with each step. However, what is very important is how the offers are prices as the value ladder progresses.

If you want to learn how to use a value ladder properly in your business then I highly recommend you get Russell Brunson’s book, Dotcom Secrets. Here are just a few of the things covered in his book:

Get Dotcom Secrets Here

We know that the lead magnet is a free offer. The price of the initial offer is where it gets interesting.

As an example, an initial offer could be less than $10 dollars. Like I mentioned earlier, the initial offer should cover the expense of advertising and also create customers.

The next step is the first tier and its corresponding price range might be less than $100 dollars. At this stage, the firm is able to generate profit. From the customer perspective, they are obtaining augmented value from the business and they have not parted with too much money. They get a chance to sample your products and services at an affordable price.

The first tier is a natural progression from the initial offer because not only do profits increase but a level of trust is also established between both parties at this stage.

The penultimate stage is the second tier. At this stage, a business may provide products that could fall into the $1,000 dollars range.

At this stage, the business viewpoint is that sales must yield profits and there must be some form of brand loyalty, which leads to recurring revenue.

This brings us to the last step of the value ladder. The top tier is where a firm sells its most expensive or high-end offers. The price point is likely to exceed the $1,000 dollars threshold.

Profits are at their highest at this stage. The service provided by the business may not have an overwhelming number of customers but the ones that stick around will be loyal. This will result in recurring profits in the long run.

Implement a Value Ladder in Your Business and Reap the Rewards

So, there is a ton of evidence above that suggests why your business needs a value ladder.

If you’re still wondering why your business needs a value ladder, let me simplify it for you.

Sarah Morrison argues that value ladders are pivotal because they accelerate the revenue a business can generate. She insists that the concept of a value ladder allows the business to see the bigger picture.

This is beneficial because the firm can tailor their services accordingly and usher their business towards new growth. Offering potential customers an incentive is a deliberate strategy that can produce profits in the long term.

So, a value ladder becomes lucrative when customers return for more business. This, of course, means more revenue for your business.

Furthermore, as James Thomson explains, utilizing a value ladder enables entrepreneurs to recognize the customer’s position and choices. It can lead to a better appreciation of the sequence of a value ladder. It also helps in their business decisions.

So, all this is basically the crux of a value ladder. If you want to massively increase your profits then you’re gonna need a value ladder.

Value ladders make it crystal clear that customers make purchases based on value and not prices. Therefore, you’re going to need to convince your customers that you’re offering them great value.

Following a value ladder also allows entrepreneurs to build trust with their customers. Simultaneously, it gives customers more buying options as well. This means the business can increase their sales.

All in all, a well-crafted value ladder has the power to transform your entire business! The value proposition or the free offer can enhance your business prospects. If you follow the value ladder model, the eventual outcome is a combination of more sales and greater improved customer satisfaction.

As long as you are able to tempt new customers with an exciting lead magnet, following a value ladder will ensure that your business is on track for success.

[theisbifamilyisbi]

TIFI Chapter 1.1: A Promising Start

The Isbi Family Isbi

CHAPTER LIST: Chapter Master Post

HI LOOK AT THIS LINK IF YOU WANT TO FIND ALL CHAPTERS ^

Hello! Welcome to the Isbi family Isbi!

Issy: "Voice you came back to me!" This idot standing here is Issy Isbi. Creative right?

Issy: "Excuuuuuuse me, my name is Isadora Isbi." Right. Issy. Her traits by the way are Insane, Irresistable, Family-Oriented, Clumsy and Over-Emotional. Her favorite color is... lime green. This is relevant later. She likes waffles and dark wave music. 

~Da Rurules~ Before we start wreaking havoc on Sunset Valley I would like to go over some of the rules I will be following. First off, there will be a torch holder vote per generation of all children born to the previous torch holder. Adopted kids do not count. Second, the mods I have installed are Nraas: Overwatch, Master Controller, Story Progression, Woohooer. I also have supernatural babies, which means every baby born on a full moon is given a random occult. I have all expansions. I also have a Death Note mod, but the chances of me finding it are pretty slim. Third, I am going to cheat with the snow for seasons. I might turn it off if my game is dying from it. Also, the amount of snow days would automatically fail my sims children. My Sims life states are 2 days for baby because babies are boring, 6 for toddlers, 9 for child, 14 for teen, 25 for YA, 21 for adult and 17 for elder. Fourth, I will NOT be doing every torch holder must be insane. If a sim is born insane then they will be the next torch holder but meh. All traits and LTW will be randomized. Fifth and most irritatingly, I will be doing name themes and I MUST follow my TH's wishes. Fun fact: I made a terrible mistake and accidentally deleted my custom skins so Story Progression, when pulling immigrants from my collection, might create some kind of horror because my s k i n is gone. The skin I used for literally every sim I made for the last year or two. .

So lets jump right in to the Isbi Isbi. Woo.

First day, I send Issy to the library because she wants to join the Professional Sports career. Joy. I didn't bother taking a screenshot because she was off to the diner to learn to cook (She wished it) and no one showed up at the library. She rolled the wish to get married immediately, so I sent her to the park and let her wander around on her own.

Issy: "Bla bla BLARGH! Hahahaha!"

Malcom is looking at her with fear in his eyes. That was a fail, so we went to the gym.

Issy, do you think that’s the right outfit for this? Issy: "That isn't even a question, silly voice!"

Why do I leave you alone. You don't do anything useful. Issy: (:

I took matters into my own hands and tried to find a non-premade sim for her to romance.

He was a contender, until this happened anyway. I liked the red in his hair, okay? I did try and get Issy to talk to him but he looked at her and sprinted away without a word. He left.

Issy: “He was fat anyway.” >.>

That’s so rude of you!

I don’t blame him for running away.

Issy went home almost immediately after that. 

Issy: UNBLINKING STARE Why did you change into your gym clothes after you left the gym, Issy? Issy: "Voice! I am trying to pee!"

I wanted to be safe so I let her make salad instead of using that lovely green stove. Remember when I said lime green would be relevant?

FEAST YOUR EYES ON THIS MONSTROSITY 

I'm decorating the houses in the TH's favorite color. I'm too lazy to custom design everything though so just various shades of green work for me. Also I fixed that wall after I took the screenshot.

GAH WHY. Also, Leighton and Emma are dating. Less shocking than this though. Christopher why...? Also sorry its blurry, the resolution dies out of full screen. 

This is a promising start, isn't it Issy? Issy: BLANK STARE

Next: Chapter 1.2 The Long Chase

Chapter Master Post: This Link

[mumblesandthings]

Beginner's Guide to Chakras

Uhm… What the french toast are Chakras?

Have you ever complained about tiredness, or relationship issues, or well… anything really? If you said no, unless you are some perfect angel human, I don’t believe you. But if you said yes, I would tell you your chakras are out of whack. You can laugh in my face, you can roll your eyes, or you can just go get those doggone chakras balanced.

But what are they?

Chakras, simply put (very simply put) are energy centers throughout your body. Chakra is the Sanskrit word for wheel. Each chakra can be visualized as a spinning whirl where energy flows in a spiraling vortex.

There are seven main chakras in your body. What are they? Working from the top, down

Seventh Chakra: Crown Chakra

Sanskrit: Sahasrara

Affirmation: “I am one with my higher self and one with the Divine.”

Purpose: Cognition, our connection and to spirituality and higher self/life/purpose

Location: Top/center of the head

Color: Violet/white

Element: Thought

Crystals: Clear quartz, diamond, Herkimer diamond, lepidolite, moonstone, sugilite, amethyst, sapphire

Essential Oils: Francincense, helichrysum, lemon, melissa, chamomile, rosemary, sandalwood

Sixth Chakra: Third Eye Chakra

Sanskrit: Ajna

Affirmation: “I am tuned into the Divine to follow the path towards my purpose.”  

Purpose: Intuition/imagination/wisdom/ability to think and make decisions

Location: Middle of forehead: between the eyes, above the base of the nose, slightly higher than brow line

Color: Indigo

Element: Light

Crystals: Amethyst, blue quartz, charoite, lepidolite, purple flourite, sodalite, sugilite, lapis lazuli

Essential Oils: Clary sage, lemongrass

Fifth Chakra: Throat Chakra

Sanskrit: Vishuddha

Affirmation: “I am speaking clearly and truthfully with grace and ease.”

Purpose: Communication/self-expression of feelings, speaking the truth, holding secrets

Location: Center of throat/neck

Color: Blue

Element: Ether/sound

Crystals: Angelite, apatite, aquamarine, celestine, blue lace agate, sodalite, lapis lazuli, turquoise

Essential Oils: Birch, lavender, oregano

Fourth Chakra: Heart Chakra

Sanskrit: Anahata

Affirmation: “I am giving and receiving love effortlessly and unconditionally.”

Purpose: Love, joy, inner peace

Location: Heart region

Color: Green

Element: Air

Crystals: Amazonite, chrysocolla, chrysoprase, emerald rose quartz, green aventurine

Essential Oils: Eucalyptus, geranium, lime, marjoram, melaleuca, peppermint, rose, thyme, ylang ylang

Third Chakra: Solar Plexus Chakra

Sanskrit: Manipura

Affirmation: “I am powerful, confident and successful in all my ventures.”

Purpose: Power, self-worth, self-confidence, self-esteem

Location: Slightly above the navel

Color: Yellow

Element: Fire

Crystals: Amber, golden topaz, sunstone, citrine, yellow calcite  

Essential Oils: Bergamont, cassia, clove, coriander, fennel, ginger, grapefruit, juniper berry, wintergreen

Second Chakra: Sacral Chakra

Sanskrit: Svadhistana

Affirmation: “I am authentically creating a life free of stress and full of bliss.”    

Purpose: Authentic creation, creator, soul fire, sexuality  

Location: Slightly below the navel    

Color: Orange    

Element: Water    

Crystals: Carnelian, citrine, orange calcite, orange carneline, fire opal

Essential Oils: Black pepper, cinnamon, cypress, tangerine, orange

First Chakra: Root Chakra

Sanskrit: Muladhara

Affirmation: “I am a divine being of light. I am peaceful, protected, and secure.”    

Purpose: Survival, security, stability    

Location: Base of spine    

Color: Red    

Element: Earth    

Crystals: Bloodstone, garnet, ruby, jasper    

Essential Oils: Basil, cedarwood, myrrh, patchouli, vetiver, white fir

I often shy away from recommending the use of chakra meditation to help solve the problems my friends and family complain about. I'm afraid they'll think it's too "woo woo" and therefore I must have gone off the deep end. Unfortunately, many of these ancient energy work practices (chakra healing has been used since 1500 BC!) are not considered viable medicine for the human body. Western culture does not put great emphasis on mental health but slowly, practices like meditation and yoga are becoming more and more accepted and common place. YAY!

Why do I care about this?

Energy Work is the basis of many alternative healing techniques. Ayurvedic medicine, crystal therapy, Reiki and traditional Chinese medicine all involve energy work. Energy work can also be found in some religious and spiritual beliefs such as Hinduism and Buddhism. It is at the core of Feng Shui and considered an integral part of yoga (Kundalini and Anusara yoga in particular).

Throughout the world, different cultures deal with energy work. The term for energy may differ (Chinese chi, Japanese ki, Greek pneuma, Indian prana, etc.) but wherever you are, the idea remains the same. Energy work is the manipulation of the energy which flows through all living things, also known as life force energy. 

For centuries, people have balanced their chakras in order to feel grounded, passionate, confident, loving, expressive, creative and spiritual. Modern humans have just as much or even more stress and chaos interrupting our lives making it easy for chakras to become blocked. You can heal yourself by connecting your body, mind and spirit to your energy. With unblocked chakras and freely flowing energy you can live your healthiest, most joyous life.

If you can understand this you can understand why people consider it important to work with their chakras. By healing and balancing our chakras we are actively working toward healing and balancing ourselves on every level. When you complain about being tired or a problem in your relationship or anything else you can discover the deeper issue that could be causing these surface challenges.

How can I start healing my Chakras?

Chakra meditations like this one:

Yoga: did you know... many yoga poses are designed to cleanse the chakras? 

Mantras

Crown: Silence - shhhh

Third Eye: Om

Throat: Ham

Heart: Yam

Solar Plexus: Ram

Sacral: Vam

Root: Lam

Check back for future posts in the chakra healing series.

Do You Practice Chakra Healing? Tell Me About It In A Comment Below Or Share It On The Mumbles & Things Facebook Page.