a-justafeeling

[sibylsleaves]

be sweet to me baby

written for @summerofbuddie week 3 & 4: smut & canon rewrite

2.6k | rated E | read on ao3 Eddie’s lips part, pink tongue flicking over his bottom lip, there and then gone. “Buck,” he says, low and urgent. His hand curls around Buck’s hip. “Tell me how I can prove it to you.” Breath seizes in Buck’s chest. He can’t—this isn’t—his mind skitters wildly from one sensation to another—the pressure of Eddie’s palm against his hip, the waves of heat rolling over him, the thunderous pounding of his heart, and above all, the weight of Eddie’s gaze on his face. after the pick-up game, Eddie clears some things up

Buck’s never had a quiet mind, but today it’s especially loud.

He can’t stop thinking about it. Even after his talk with Maddie, he can’t understand what came over him at the pick-up game. Why he got so angry.

Watching Tommy and Eddie high-five and chest-bump, feeling his heart race faster and faster, blood pounding in his head, seeing Eddie smile like that, dripping with sweat and sunlight until all Buck wanted to do was just—grab him and—and—

He just lost it.

The second Eddie hit the ground, everything else came crashing down with him.

Buck hurt him. He hurt Eddie, his best friend, Eddie, the person whose back he swore to have no matter what, Eddie, who Buck would do anything to protect.

He’s the worst person in the world. Eddie probably hates him. Will never trust him again, surely. How can he, after what Buck did? Buck wouldn’t. He might never speak to Buck again. Or look at him. Or—

The click of a key turning in its lock punctures Buck’s racing thoughts. The front door swings open.

Eddie walks right into the loft like he has a hundred time before.

“Hey,” he says, propped in the entryway on his crutches. “Been to any good basketball games lately?”

(keep reading on ao3)

[honestlydarkprincess]

so let the words slip out of your mouth

buck & eddie || rated: g || wc: 1.7k || read on ao3

Buck wasn’t trying to hide from Eddie. Really, he wasn’t. It’s just….every time Buck tried to get the words out he clammed up. He was pretty sure that Eddie thought there was something wrong with him, he’d been giving Buck increasingly worried looks over the last couple weeks.

Eddie had overheard Hen telling him that she would add him to the queer LAFD group chat— not she had said what the group chat was for at the time— and he’d given Buck a weird look, as he knew how much Buck hated group chats. Buck was also sure that Eddie had noticed the look on Bobby’s face when he looked at Buck sometimes, like he was proud of him, happy for him. It never failed to warm Buck from head to toe but he knew it made Eddie curious. The worst was probably Chimney, who, after a few too many weird goodbyes, had stopped saying bye altogether and had taken to saying adios.

So Eddie definitely knew something was up with Buck, but Buck was pretty sure he didn’t know what.

Buck was sitting at his table, staring into space as he contemplated how to tell Eddie. Tommy had just left— they’d had a nice romantic date before Tommy had to leave due to an early shift the next morning and Buck was still giddy over their date. Things were good between him and Tommy. Solid. They’d only been dating for a few weeks but Buck was over the moon and he was really excited to see where things were going to go between them.

A soft knock sounded at his door, breaking him out of his thoughts.

Buck went to answer it, figuring it was Tommy. “You forget something?” He asked as he opened the door.

Only it wasn’t Tommy, it was Eddie. “Hey, Buck. Can we talk?”

“Y-yeah, of course,” Buck stumbled over his words, moving to the side so Eddie could come in. Buck swallowed roughly as he shut the door behind him. Looks like they’d be having this conversation whether he was ready or not. “What do you want to talk about?”

Eddie just gave him a look. “You know what.”

Buck sighed. “I wasn’t trying to hide it from you, Eds. I just didn’t know how to tell you.”

“Tell me what?” Eddie pressed, shoving his hands in his pockets. “If I’m being honest, Buck, I don’t really know what’s going on. I just know that everyone at work is acting weird, like they’re in on this secret and I’m not, and I’ve tried to figure it out, trust me. But I can’t. What could be so bad that you can’t tell me?”

“It’s not bad, I promise,” Buck said earnestly. “There’s nothing wrong, I’ve just…figured some things out.”

“Okay…” Eddie trailed off, looking at Buck when he didn’t elaborate. “What things?”

“It’s that— I’m—” Buck tried, swallowing against the lump in his throat. His heart was beating so fast, just like it had the first time he came out. You’d think all the practice he’d had would have made it easier but something about coming out to Eddie made everything feel so much more.

“Is it that you’re hanging out with Tommy? I saw him leave. You guys don’t have to hide it,” Eddie said, his brow furrowed. “It’s not like I’d be upset. A little bummed that I’m not invited but not upset,” Eddie chuckled, although his laughter trailed off when Buck just stood there.

“Tommy and I…” Buck started, clearing his throat. “We are hanging out but we’re not friends.”

“How does that work?” Eddie looked adorably confused.

“Eds, we’re dating.”

“Oh,” Eddie said, his eyebrows raising in surprise. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Buck said, rubbing the back of his neck in a nervous gesture. “So I’m…the news is that I’m bisexual. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”

Eddie was quiet for a moment, digesting the new information while Buck fidgeted in front of him. “So…when we ran into you at the pizza place…you guys were on a date, weren’t you?”

“Yeah, it was our first,” Buck mumbled, unable to keep a small smile from gracing his lips. The date had been a little tense and a whole lot awkward when Eddie and Marisol interrupted but then Tommy had walked him back to his door and kissed him and Buck had melted, throwing himself into the kiss. They’d found their footing and it hadn’t been awkward since.

“Shit, Buck, I’m so sorry, we totally interrupted,” Eddie looked dismayed.

“It’s okay, you didn’t know,” Buck reassured.

“I’m still sorry,” Eddie said quietly. “And I’m sorry for storming over here and basically forcing you to tell me. You clearly didn’t want to and I made you and I’m just, I’m sorry.”

“Hey, hey, no,” Buck said, his brow furrowing as he took a step closer to Eddie. “You didn’t make me do anything, I was always going to tell you, I was just having a hard time finding the words.”

Eddie let out a sigh of relief and closed the distance between them, pulling Buck into a bear hug. Buck hugged back just as tightly, letting out a shuddering breath when Eddie whispered, “I’m proud of you, Buck. Thanks for telling me.”

“You’re welcome,” Buck mumbled back. A quick fleeting thought dashed across his mind that Eddie’s arms felt so good around him, something he’d always known but now it was at the forefront of his mind. It felt different now and Buck felt a tendril of confusion. Why did hugging his best friend feel different now? Why did it feel better? Like something was slotting together? Buck shook his head as he pulled away from the hug, trying to physically shake away the thoughts. He wasn’t ready to think about that. “I’m surprised you’re here so late, where’s Chris?”

“Ah,” Eddie looked sheepish. “We had a bit of a fight and he wanted space so Tia Pepa said she’d take him for the night.”

“Oh? About what?” Buck was confused, the amount of times Eddie and Christopher had fought was a very small number.

Eddie sighed. “It’s dumb, you probably don’t want to hear it,” He tried to brush it off. “Let’s talk about more important things: so, you and Tommy?”

Buck ducked his head, blushing. “Yeah, me and Tommy.”

“That’s great, Buck, I’m really happy for you,” Eddie said. A quick expression flitted across his face, too quick for Buck to decipher it, before Eddie gave him a genuine smile.

“Thanks, Eds,” Buck murmured, a pleased glow lighting up his face. “I’ll tell you anything you want to know but first, talk to me about Chris. What did you fight about, is he okay?” Buck was concerned for his favourite Diaz.

“He’s not Marisol’s biggest fan,” Eddie sighed, scrubbing his jaw. “He doesn’t like that she’s been babysitting him so much— which is on me, I’ve been going out a lot with Tommy, especially that first couple of weeks and now, I just— I guess I have to figure that out.”

“Shit, Eddie, I’m sorry,” Buck said, his voice soft with sympathy. “You want a beer?”

“God, yes please,” Eddie blew out a breath, coming to sit down at the island in Buck’s kitchen. Buck placed an opened beer in front of him and then opened one for himself. “Thanks, Buck.” Eddie said gratefully, taking a hearty sip.

“So, what are you going to do?”

“I don’t even know,” Eddie said, picking at the beer bottle label. “If I’m being honest, I’m not…really feeling it? Like, it was exciting at first and she’s nice but that’s…that’s it. I don’t feel a spark with her, y’know? I don’t really feel anything for her. I guess that’s why I kind of blew up at Chris, because I felt guilty that I wasn’t actually upset that he didn’t like her.”

“If you want me to talk to him, just let me know,” Buck offered.

“That would be great, I’d really appreciate that.”

“No problem,” Buck smiled before he took a deep breath, steeling himself for his next question. “Speaking of Christopher, Eddie can I….can I tell him? About me?”

Eddie looked at him in surprise. “Buck, of course. You don’t even have to ask. Besides, he’s…” Eddie trailed off, looking at Buck with soft eyes. “He’s your kid too.”

Buck swallowed against the sudden lump in his throat, feeling tears sting his eyes. “Y-yeah?”

“Yeah, Buck,” Eddie grinned.

“You’ve never said that before,” Buck said shyly.

“To be honest I thought you knew,” Eddie’s voice was gentle. “You’re his guardian if anything happens to me.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s mine,” Buck countered, looking down at his hands.

“It does to me,” Eddie replied firmly, so there was so ifs, ands, or buts. “He’s ours.”

“Ours,” Buck tested the word out, liking the way it sounded. “Okay. Ours.”

Eddie’s smile could outshine the sun and Buck felt his heart skip a beat, just like it always did when Eddie smiled at him.

The two of them were quiet for a minute, basking in the comfortable silence while they sipped their beer, before Buck eventually spoke up. “How do you think I should tell him?”

“That you’re bi?” Eddie asked and Buck nodded. “I’d just say it straight.”

Buck laughed. “Well, I don’t know if I can say it straight.”

Eddie chuckled. “You’re going to be making all the puns now, aren’t you?” His voice was unbearably fond and Buck wanted to wrap himself around the glow it lit inside him. “You know what I meant. Just say it outright, you know he’ll support you. You may have to explain what bisexual means but honestly I think he’s going to be very casual about it. Plus, he likes Tommy so you know he’s going to be excited that you’re dating.”

“Okay, great,” Buck’s shoulders relaxed and he let out a huge sigh of relief. “Thank you, Eddie.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Buck,” Eddie said. “Now come on, let’s finish these while we watch a shitty movie.”

“Sounds good,” Buck said warmly, following Eddie to the couch. And it did— sound good. He felt better than he had in weeks now that Eddie knew and was okay with it— just like Buck had always known he would be, but that small part of him that worried was loud. As Buck leaned back against the couch while they flicked through the movie options, he felt complete. And very, very free.

[frankiebirds]

genuinely struggling to read emily's expression here as anything other than jealousy

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

the need to write gn!readers vs the desire to have gojo satoru call u ”my sweet girl” ://////

[nostalgia-tblr]

stopped reading a fic just there because it was insisting that thor & co went on many violent adventures pre-movies but of course left poor feeble loki behind cos he's a) feeble and b) blessed with a better understanding of imperialism than the rest, and there are a thousand other fics that also think this is obviously what happened but i think i may just have hit my limit on this one :\

[morallygreyintrovert]

The third and final (for now) instalment of 'An Angel and a Hunter walk into a bar...' series

The one where Cas and Dean go on a ghost hunt in a club named 'The Closet' in NYC.

Years of mutual longing and angst culminate in a passionate, steamy and drunken first kiss and Cas and Dean are on the way to the restroom to truly make this a night to remember when they are interrupted by a bone-chilling scream. That's when they remember they're supposed to be on a case. Dean has a choice to make, let's just hope he doesn't live to regret it.

[ingravinoveritas]

It has just been brought to my attention--and why I have never seen this mentioned anywhere else before now, I cannot possibly fathom--that David actually takes his shirt off during this production of Macbeth. Specifically, this moment:

As we know, Michael attended a performance of Macbeth in December, on press night. Which means Michael saw that moment happen. From the second row. And was likely staring at David without a shirt on. Which suddenly gives entirely new dimension to Michael and David making eye contact with each other at the end of the show:

Do I think this was the first time Michael saw David shirtless? No (especially not if we take them filming two seasons of GO together into account). Do I think Michael outwardly* displayed anything other than complete respect and admiration for David's artistry and performance? Also no. Do I think that there are potentially a massive number of implications for Michael and David looking at each other like that right after Michael has just seen David shirtless on stage? Fucking hell, I don't know how there could not be.

Because the idea of Michael staring at David shirtless in a theatre full of people--unabashedly, unreservedly--is somehow quiet and incredibly brazen at the same time. The very epitome of "saying a lot by saying very little," which is a tag I have used for both Michael and David on multiple occasions. And David looking right back at him conveys just as much meaning, as if to say he knows he has to bare his flesh to audiences night after night, but Michael is the only person in that room to whom he can bare his soul. The person David has been vulnerable with in a way he hasn't with anyone else.

It's truly remarkable to contemplate. To think that the biggest, loudest statement Michael and David could make was done without saying a word. And that we all had the chance to see it thanks to one beautiful, timeless photograph...

(*Note: This does not mean Michael wasn't making loud AWOOGA noises on the inside, because he totally was...) **UPDATE: I have just been made aware that David is not actually fully shirtless in the play, but has a vest on underneath the shirt seen in the above photo. Apologies for inadvertently spreading any misinformation. But at least we can be satisfied knowing Michael has likely seen David shirtless in other contexts...

[avemstella]

I want Furina and Venti interactions sooooo bad. They can gush about their dragons and music and overthrowing the heavens together.

[sga-owns-my-soul]

thinking about rodney calling john kirk all the time and how it's very ironic bc kirk and spock are like. The Gay Ship and i started thinking about the rest of the city assuming this is some like... code word between them? like rodney calls john kirk so often (and always around ladies that are flirting) and i think the atlanteans would just be like "well that's clearly code for 'lets fuck later'" and like it becomes so well known that johns fully aware of this and whenever rodney calls him kirk he's like. weirdly jealous and upset about it idkidk i'm just. thinking a lot about rodney calling john kirk the implications

[let-it-rip-bear]

when sydney was having a panic attack, i almost expected her to have a moment where carmy's voice calms her down—mostly because it would've been an obvious parallel—but that doesn't happen and, yeah, that makes more sense anyway. it makes the parallel more compelling because they don't match up. carmy used to be an inspiration to her, and now all he does is suffocate her creativity. he offers no safety anymore, not to sydney. and not to mention the fact that after carmy confronts david fields, nothing calms him down. nothing is left. they both have nothing to cling to ohhhhh my god this show has got me FUCKED up honestly

[mister-eames]

im in SHAMBLES cause i always knew that the original security is gonna run you down line was between Arthur and Dom but was given to A/E later but only now I got to know that it was not “be back before the kick” in the original script but actually “be back in time for the kick” from Dom!! Be back in in time for the kick is not asking to be safe it’s actually a command or a direction; and it’s further cemented by Arthur’s reply in script; it’s “I’m on it” .. it matches their dynamic from the beginning, professional with cobb sort of calling the shots. But when mr Nolan gave it to A/E he had to change it?? Cause it doesn’t match this married couple??? So he made it be back BEFORE the kick with a thinly veiled “ BE SAFE BABE”???? And GO TO SLEEP MR EAMES ?? Meaning don’t worry about me darling I’ll be there???!!!!!! My head hurts??????

It still blows my mind how it was originally Arthur and Cobb having this moment in the script and Nolan, presumably like us, was captivated by the chemistry and quiet story of Arthur and Eames, and changed the characters around! It's a perfect bookend to their snarky beginnings, to the shot of them planning the job, you know the one, where it focuses on Arthur and Eames for "...we all yearn for reconciliation..." to this exchange. Nolan knew it was necessary, in case the audience was wondering, Arthur and Eames got their reconciliation. That we got to see them full circle.

Because the way it was scripted with Cobb was between friends/comrades. Arthur reaffirming to Cobb he can be trusted, that he's got his back despite what occurred and was revealed the level above. Lovely. But so much about Cobb and Arthur's friendship is not said in so many words. It really wasn't necessary. It didn't lend any sort of closure to the characters journey's to have this scene play out, it just didn't make sense.

The fact that the script had to change along with their characters so that Arthur and Eames could flirt and smile at each other and 'be back before the kick', and 'uh-huh go to sleep' like COME ON. It's the contrast from all their other scenes - the banter and teasing, Eames laughing at Arthur's kick tests - this scene was so gentle, so soft and so quiet. In the same way Eames didn't need to help Arthur with the projections in level one, Arthur did not have to help Eames with his cannula. He didn't need to flick Eames fingers away and help him above anyone else. Arthur very much chose to help out so they could have these sweet nothings this quiet talk.

Every time someone tries to reduce Arthur/Eames down to 'darling' I feel like the Will Smith meme pointing at all the rest of it. Like, are we all not seeing this?? It kills me. This scene kills me -- it's so important to their relationship and themselves as individual characters,

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

the father [solar lunacy] the son [you move to dayshift but aren't paid any more, go figure] and the holy spirit [i see you, sundrop!]

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

Ari I’m crawling through the desert in need of water…humbly I beg & plead for your Ken-geto twin AU headcanons 🙏🙏🙏 I think they’re the only thing that can quench my soul rn

ODI . MY BELOVED . I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS WAHHHH pls take a seat and get ready for a long long rant……… i’ll do my best to quench your thirst 🙏🙏🙏

OKAY SO . god. where do i even begin………

basically!!!!! i’m writing a fic where kenny is. your best friend’s older brother <33333 the best friend in question being sugu!!! i still haven’t decided if they’re twins or if kenny is a couple years older…… buuuut either way i have lots n lots of thoughts abt their dynamic :33 and how the two of them treat you!!!! sugu is just…. your reliable, soft best friend, and kenny is . the way he is 😭 but anyway…..

i picture kenny as being a bitttt of a bad boy in this au?? not exactly. but like. he has a tongue piercing and moved out really early and he’s maybe a little bit twisted . cares abt suguru but can’t really show it. he’s silly and talkative but also a bit condescending…. a bit of a know it all…… i feel like he almost acts more like a father than an older brother sometimes which suguru absolutely hates 😭 there’s a lot of tension between them!!

personality wise i feel like suguru sort of . adapts to kenjaku? he’s a bit of a social chameleon. and he really doesn’t like the idea of people seeing them as similar…. so if kenny is acting more serious and pretentious, suguru acts more childish — and if kenny acts more silly then suguru takes a more responsible role . it’s like that!!! it’s weird bc i see suguru as being very sincere at heart, and kenny as being fairly insincere, but with the way they act you could get the impression that it’s the other way around. kenny doesn’t care abt how others view him, suguru very much does. but sugu has a sincerity to him that kenny kind of lacks?? ig it’s less that kenny is insincere and more that he’s just. detached. in a way.

also sidenote kinda but !!! i picture both sugu and kenny as sweater boys 😭😭 they LOVE their sweaters. i feel like kenny wears turtlenecks religiously. and sugu goes out of his way to wear more leather jackets and hoodies bc he doesn’t like when they’re wearing the same stuff LMAO…. kenny sometimes makes their outfits match just to piss him off <333

anddddd going back to the whole . brotherly rivalry stuff…… i think kenny was always a bit of a black sheep growing up . and bc of that suguru automatically became the golden child!!! sugu can be mischievous and bratty but he gets away w it bc he’s the youngest/good at hiding it…. and in front of their parents he’s always very straightlaced. it’s almost like suguru holds back just so that he won’t appear similar to his brother, which i think kenny kind of finds pathetic. there’s just soooo much to their dynamic 😭😭 they’re similar and different and just. gah. they give me a headache!!!! bc kenny is such a wildcard in the way that he acts, and suguru is so prone to changing himself depending on the situation he’s in.

but overall i just feel like kenny is pretentious and teasing…. and kinda mean . while sugu is well-behaved and calm, but a little more teasing and silly around people he’s close to….. and he’s also super kind . he’s warm!!!! and kenny is sort of cold. that’s the way i picture their dynamic. but it’s very fluid i think …. sometimes kenny acts like the oldest, sometimes the youngest LMAO

ANYWAYYYY gosh i’m already yapping so much 😭😭😭 I HOPE YOU’RE STILL HERE ODI ….. here’s another drink for you 🧋 .

now !!!! when it comes to their dynamic with you…… 👀👀 suguru is just a protective softie. he loves you so much!!! you’re his bestie!!!! and you’re the only one he ever acts bratty and pouty with…. he just feels comfortable around you :’3 so he can let his guard down and be a little silly… a little teasing….. but he’s always always always taking care of you . a warm sunflower boy <333333

then there’s kenny who . bullies you a bit 😭 JUST A BIT . bc he likes seeing your reactions <3 he’s kind of like your typical intimidating best friend’s brother…. a little scary ……. a bit of a dick….. he looks after you in his own way but . he doesn’t coddle you the way suguru does. when you’re kids he’s someone you look up to, but also someone you’re a tinyyyyy bit afraid of . but you get a crush on him anyway . and he has a soft spot for you. and then he leaves and doesn’t return until a couple years later ………. and he hasn’t really changed. but he’s less of a bully and more of a teaser. maybe a little condescending. but he’s charming, yk? alluring.

anyway as you can see i’m getting carried away LMAOO this fic is just . fluff?? kind of??? w a lot of tension 😭 you like kenny and he . well. you just don’t know what he’s thinking . he kind of sees you as a baby bird i think,,,,,,,,, and he’s . the big bad wolf. you get the vibes …….. here r some snippets of the fic just for fun!! it’s very near and dear to my heart hehe

—

—

…….. he has me in a chokehold i fear 💔

[cassierobinsons]

@ilarual YOUR TAGS ON THIS POST ARE SO REALLLL I had to make a separate post about it

cas canonically does not angst about liking men. liking one man in particular yeah, but not about being gay in general. in an AU though? he literally comes from a fundamentalist xtian """community""" (cult) that has a disproportionate level of power over the lives of the general public. everyone in the cult is a huge narc, including himself. one of the only trustworthy people is his big sister who ran away and went no contact years ago. His mother is a CONVERSION THERAPIST who, let’s be real, probably isn't great about the autism either. too. i don’t get people who think cas’ backstory is impossible or even difficult to adapt to a mundane setting because the parallels are blatant and everything hints towards cas being deeply closeted.

I mean fuck, remember how balthazar was like “wow i’m so glad i rebelled and get to do whatever i want now including have obscene amounts of gay sex” and s6 cas was like :O you're using your freedom for HEDONISM? instead of SERVING THE CAUSE??? meanwhile he had spent the last year watching dean rake leaves in dead silence. and that's a cas whose family were only homophobic in the metaphorical and not literal sense. AU cas is not going to figure out that he's gay without a real fight!

[walkingstackofbooks]

5 times Julian watched Miles die (and one time he didn't)

When a bar fight goes horribly wrong, Julian does everything he can to save Miles. It's not enough. Miles dies, and Julian is left bereft and distraught. But this is a time loop fic, so when he wakes up the next day, Julian finds the universe has given him another chance to save his friend... And another... And another. There are many ways for Miles to die on a space station, and however much Julian tries -- furiously repressing his ever-increasing grief and dread to focus on this so-important task -- he just can't seem to stop the endless cycle. It doesn't help that, although his feelings are really too much to deal with, his friends keep pressing him to open up to them. He's fine, he insists, until he really isn't, and discovers that he does need a shoulder to cry on after all. Grief, hope, rage, hurt, comfort, despair, joy... A roller-coaster of emotions accompanies Julian through the most challenging six days of his life, and he is so, so tired.

Sound like your kind of story? Within the next few weeks, my fic 'Vision Awry' - a remix of the DS9 episode 'Visionary' - is going to start updating again, so now's the perfect time to go and read the first half! 😉 (while it's still a manageable 50k... :P )

From the end of September, I'll be resuming my regular posting schedule every week until the story reaches its conclusion - so if you're looking for a feels-y Julian WIP to subscribe to that will have both •definite updates, and •a definite end, may I shamelessly recommend that you give my fic a whirl? I am incredibly proud of it, and am so excited to be on the verge of sharing the rest of it with you all 🥰

[dreamytfw]

Question for y'all: is this fic any good? Can't decide if I should I read it or sell it to a 2nd hand book store.