#fic year 23
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14. A fic you didn't expect to write?
14. a fic you didn't expect to write
I participated in three once-a-day monthly challenges this year—February, April, AND July, not to mention a few ask game minifics, so most of what I published this year was unexpected. But! I will say that Nayru's Thorns was REALLY unexpected. It was an expansion of a smaller fic I wrote for a prompt for Blue/Red, and I liked it so much I turned it into a bigger fic. :)
A matching Vidow fairytale AU is technically in the works, but I got so frustrated with it. I still love it though... I want to share that one.
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fragile.
' you have broken down my defenses, and i don’t really resent it. ' - vita sackville west
in which you really don't want to care about him and his careless attitude, but you always find yourself coming back to him. always. feat. diluc ragnvindr & gn!reader w.c : 5k warnings : childhood friends to lovers, diluc lore spoilers, minor angst but ends w fluff, diluc ragnvindr. note : happy new year! sorry for the delay hehe, but this is for @seraphiism's 2023 collab event !! please support the other authors and enjoy the fic ^^
your mother had always instructed you to stay close to her side, to never stray far away from her lest you find yourself in trouble with the master of the winery or the other servants working the orchards and tending to the land of the estate.
but with a beautiful land of ripe grapes and friendly staff greeting you as you rush past them, how could you ever just sit still beside your mother as she did her job around the winery?
the late summer breeze rushes past your face as you weave through the wooden stakes holding the wiry vines of grapes above you. the warm sun rays heat your skin as you leap over the small rocks that litter the passage leading into the main area of the ragnvindr estate. the wind whispers in your ear, making you grin as your little legs take you wherever it guides you.
you feel free, the wind pushing past your wings to lead you to your newest adventure around the manor.
your feet land firmly on the grounds behind the manor when you hear the gentle sniffles coming from behind a couple of barrels. despite your mother's warnings echoing in your head, you take gentle steps towards the sound as curiosity takes over.
you're not expecting to see a young boy with fiery red hair and matching eyes that hold the warmest, flickering fire glaring up at you with tears at the corner of his eyes and holding a bleeding knee.
"...are you okay?" you ask, kneeling down beside him. you begin to frown when he pulls his knee away from you and his glare deepens.
"i don't need your help," the young boy hisses at you and you roll your eyes.
"really? you don't need my help even though you're crying in a corner all by yourself?" you scoff at him. he doesn't say anything in retaliation and you take it as an okay for you to help him.
you pull a handkerchief from your pocket; nothing too fancy as your family couldn't afford the finest silks like the nobles could. it's cotton, white, and had a simple design of a little sparrow emroidered in the corner.
"i don't have any bandages on me," you mumble softly. your little fingers gently wrap the handkerchief around the young boy's knee several times before tying a small knot on it. without even blinking, you lean down to kiss the wounded knee.
"what are you doing?!" the young boy exclaims, yanking his knee away.
"kissing it better," you say as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "my mother always does that when i get hurt. she says it takes the pain away and makes it heal faster."
"that's stupid," the boy mumbles with a glare.
"says the one who tripped and fell and hurt himself," you argue back. you stick your tongue out when the boy shouts out a 'hey!' and roll your eyes.
"who are you and what are you doing here anyways?" you ask the young boy, kneeling beside him once more. he's still glaring at you, but it's less hostile than it was a few moments ago. "my mom said strangers aren't allowed to be here."
the young boys eyes are red, vibrantly so. the life in them burn brightly, reminding you of a fire as it flickers with warmth and a promise of a brighter tomorrow. like the hearth of a fireplace, the young boy seems to be the incarnate of warmth itself with the way he's filled with the flame of life.
"i live here, dummy," he quips back at you with a frown and your eyes widen.
"really? i've never seen you around, and i've been everywhere on this estate," you reply, bringing your thumb and forefinger to your chin as you remain deep in thought. truly, the only people you've managed to catch were all adults working for the master of this winery. never once have you seen a kid running along.
with a bright smile of your own, you lean towards the young boy. "we should be friends! since i don't know anyone else to play with here, we can play!"
the boy looks you up and down with furrowed brows, but he slowly nods. "...okay," he mumbles and you grin brighter.
"great! what's your name then? i'm-"
your name is shouted as hurried footsteps rush towards you. your mother pulls you aside as she looks at the young boy in front of you with panicked eyes.
"young master, i'm so sorry if my child said or did anything to hurt you," your mother says in a rush. she pushes your head down to bow in front of the young boy. she hisses something into your ear and you stutter out your own apology too, even if you did nothing wrong.
you find out the young boy you helped earlier that day was the son of the nobleman your mother works for, diluc ragnvindr. apparently, he's some big deal because he's the young master, but what kind of big deal hurts himself and hides between the barrels instead of asking for help?
you huff as you kick your feet sitting down by your bedside. because of the whole debacle, your mother had ordered you to stay inside to prevent even more debacles from happening even if you explained that the young master getting injured was not your fault. the sun shining from your windowsill feels so far away as you stare outside and ponder what to do.
until you hear a light pattering sound come from your window.
your curiosity is piqued as your small frame approaches the glass panes, wide eyes peeking over the wooden frame as your eyes scan the scenery.
the foliage of the trees surrounding your home cast shadows over your house with small animals running back and forth from the greenery above, causing the rustling of the leaves. the sun trickles in through the gaps of the leaves and your eyes settle on the boy with red hair standing outside your window, a small rock in his hand.
there's a proper bandage on his knee now as it was properly dressed, and his fiery eyes meet yours. he looks hesitant at first, but his brows furrow and his lips open to prepare to speak.
"...come outside and play with me," he tells you when you push open the window in your bedroom, a slight pout in his voice.
"you got me in trouble," you reply shortly, "and now i'm stuck inside because of you."
the young boy bites his lip, pondering what he could do or say to make things better. from the way he's thinking hard enough for you to see steam coming out of his ears, you could tell that he was trying really hard to think of anything to say.
"i'm sorry," he mumbles, kicking the dirt with his shoe.
"sorry, what was that?" you ask, holding your ear out.
the young master huffs, his cheeks puffed out in annoyance. he stomps his foot before-
"i said 'i'm sorry'!"
you smile at him smugly before crossing your arms on the windowsill. it was amusing to see the supposed young master like this; for such a renowned young boy, he was such a cry baby.
"okay, i can't go outside, but we can still play inside if that's okay," you tell him with a bright smile. "i'll let you in!"
"diluc..." he says, red eyes meeting yours. he reminds you of a fire with the way he's looking at you; so full of life but almost burning you if you get him too riled up. but the flames are tame now compared to the anxious flickers you saw earlier before he apologized.
"okay; i'll let you in then, diluc!"
ever since that warm summer, you and diluc have been inseparable; every afternoon is spent exploring the land of the winery but never straying far enough to get lost or end up on the other side of the lake where monsters lurk.
you were there the evening master crepus brought home another young boy around your age home; his blue hair reminding you of the blueberries your mother bought from mondstadt for you to eat. it was a bit of an adjustment with another young boy to play with, but soon you got along well with him as well.
his bright blue eyes always sparkling as you invite him to play alongside diluc and his little hand held in yours. he reminded you of the stars above with the way his eyes twinkle with youth and reflect the night sky above you when the three of you snuck out of your homes to stargaze with your hands holding onto each other until the morning sun began to rise over the horizon.
with your hands held tightly with diluc's and kaeya's, your youth together was only just beginning.
it's a cool morning where the early frost is beginning to melt as the sun continues to rise over the horizon, spreading her warmth and love across the fields of dawn winery. the young master has been gone for a couple days now; something about some sort of knight exam or whatever happening in the city of mondstadt. you would have gone with him, but your duties lie in caring for the winery whilst your friends head off to the heart of mondstadt to finish their training and hopefully become part of the knights of favonius that crepus ragnvindr had always encouraged them to be a part of.
you know having their father's praise meant a lot to your dear friends and you could only hope for the best for both diluc and kaeya as they were off doing their duties.
your ears perk as your name is shouted through the winery along with the sound of hooves rapidly against the dirt road. over in the distance, you can make out a red haired young man galloping over on his steed at near full speed. with wide eyes, you try to tell him to slow down before you get trampled and-
"oof!" you groan as a heavy body slams into you, both his weight and warmth tackling you to the ground. you're thankful that his arms cradled your head as you both go tumbling into the dirt road underneath you and the only pain was that of your body against the floor.
you don't even get to question why diluc had tackled you to the floor when he pulls his face away from you, giving you a clear view of his expression. he's smiling brightly, a wide grin on his face and his eyes of rubies twinkling brighter than any flame you've ever seen. the flames of his soul flicker brilliantly in his excitement and you can't help your own match his energy.
"i got in!" diluc says, his boyish smile growing wider. the small divots in his cheeks are cute and evidence of how hard he was grinning at the news. "i passed the trials got to do the oath swear and- oh, i wish you could've been there!"
despite growing up into a more mature-ish teen, it is moments like these where you're reminded that even as time passes and he grows taller than you, diluc is still the bright eyed boy that you've known since you were young. he looks so cute, in an endearing way, when he eagerly tells you all about his trials and how tough they were.
you really hope that the young master stays the same as he is now.
with a gentle hand, you reach up to ruffle his hair; it's soft to the touch and your eyes don't miss the way diluc pauses in his excitement as your fingers weave into his hair. you assume it's because he's not used to your praise and brush it off, even as he leans into your touch and waits for your words.
"why don't we head inside first? i want to hear everything that happened, but inside where it's warm and comfortable rather than on the dirt floor, diluc," you say to him, a slight lilt in your voice. you laugh softly when you see his cheeks flush a little in embarrassment before he gets off of you.
"i apologize, i was just so eager to tell you," diluc says softly, reaching down to offer a hand to you. you take his hand; you can feel the natural warmth emanating from his body through his gloves and, before you know it, you've been pulled up from the ground. his arm wraps around your waist to assure that you're balanced as you stand up.
"i just," diluc begins. you watch him as the young master of the winery averts his gaze briefly before he meets yours, warm rubies enveloping you with nothing but the comfort he holds for you ever since you were both younger.
"i wanted you to be the first person i told and to tell you."
a wave of something pleasant washes over you knowing that diluc, the heir of dawn winery and one of the most hardworking and talented man in all of mondstadt, rushed back home on horseback in the early hours of this chilly morning just to announce the news to you in person.
just so he could be your first in regards to his good news.
you laugh softly as something warm settles into the pit of your heart, squeezing his hand in yours as you tug him towards the main mansion of the winery estate with no intentions of letting his go for the time being.
even with the budding flowers of youth begin to bloom and the happiness that was promised to you has yet to come, you would have never expected for the spring of your youth to end so abruptly.
it happened all so quickly; crepus ragnvindr wielding a delusion, his death and the anger of diluc exploding, and the fall of your friendship with kaeya and diluc.
you weren't given the details of either one's situation, just a witness of a near death experience and the unforgiven apologies spewing from kaeya's lips as he held his injured eye in the midst of the rain washing down on them as if mourning both the loss of crepus ragnvindr and the wound wedged deep between the relationship of the ragnvindr brothers.
it was like in a mere second, the once warm diluc that would blush and hold your hand so delicately had been wiped away and replaced by a diluc grieving the loss of his father as the flames of his anger and betrayal of both his own brother and the knights of favonius for trying to brush the murder of his father under the rug explode and engulf his entire being.
he doesn't even give you a proper goodbye, leaving only a letter dedicated to you and his vision dimly glowing on his nightstand behind.
it feels like a fever dream when you hear the news of diluc finally returning after all of these years. you don't even hear it from the man himself; rather, from the whispers and excited chatter that the master of dawn winery had returned home.
part of you is excited at the news that he's alive; with no news of his existence after he ran from home in search of the truth behind his father's death other than the faint glow and warmth radiating from his vision clutched in your hands when you missed and worried for him, you were ecstatic knowing that he truly was home now.
that he's alive and breathing and still with you.
and yet, another part of you twinges in pain that he didn't come to you and announce that he was home. he had left you without even a single goodbye, not even bothering to visit you and explain his situation before leaving you questioning whether or not he even cared about how you felt about him.
of course, you aren't entitled to being the first to know, but after growing up together and usually being the first to know of everything in your youth, your heart aches knowing you were one of the last to hear of this at the winery.
it doesn't help knowing that you have not even caught a glimpse of diluc after his supposed return.
so imagine your surprise coming home one evening, the cool night air biting against your skin as you return home after a long day's work, seeing a figure leaning against your home.
at first, your blood turns cold as your heart races in your ears; it couldn't be anyone bad... the winery is a safe place and any suspicious figures are dealt with accordingly before they even step close to the winery grounds. you don't even have anything to defend yourself against if they did happen to be someone with malicious intent.
you take a step back to turn tail back to the estate but freeze when you begin to recognize the figure outside your door; red curls resembling that of flames flickering in the air and warm ruby eyes that you could recognize anywhere. despite standing in the dim evening light and having only the glow of the lantern outside of your home, you could make out the injuries through his dark clothing.
just what did he get himself into?
you hesitate at first, but eventually let your instincts take control as you begin to walk over to your home. it's as if you were both in the blooming stages of your youth again, bringing diluc home to mend his wounds after training for the knight exams.
caring for him was like muscle memory to you, even after all of the events leading to him leaving you in the dust.
you don't say a word as you open the wooden door and guide diluc in, pulling out a chair by the fireplace. wordlessly, he sits in it as you leave to prepare to clean his wounds.
your fingers shake ever so slightly as you remove diluc's coat from his shoulders, the heavy fabric falling to the floor with a thud. you apologize softly as you begin to unbutton his shirt and, as each button is undone and reveals more of his skin, your fingers begin to flinch every time your skin brushes against the skin of his chest.
his breath is warm, you can feel it against your skin as you slide off the remaining clothes on his torso. his chest is bare to you, and normally you would be gawking at how much he has physically changed since you were younger. but you cannot help but stare at how much he had been injured in the last few years you have seen him.
aside from the scratches from the most recent scuffle which led him to your quaint home beside his manor, scars litter his chest and arms. although most of them are healed, the damage that he had experienced was still evident on his skin and you hold back a gasp at how deep some of them had been; there's a huge scar that runs diagonally from the top of his chest to his stomach and you could already feel your stomach churning at the pain.
you couldn't imagine having to sustain those injuries for so long, and being alone through it all.
and, now, you hope that the injuries currently on his body heal faster knowing that he isn't alone this time. not when he has you by his side.
diluc's eyes burn holes into your skull as he watches you dip a towel into the bucket of warm water at your side; you pretend to ignore him. twisting the soaked cloth to rid it of the excess water, you gently begin to clean the wounded man in front of you.
a man you consider an old friend, but you fear he doesn't hold the same sentiment. not anymore.
it's quiet, the only sound shared between the two of you being the occasional sound of the towel dumped back into the bucket and the crackling of the fireplace in your living space. the moon casts her illuminating rays through the window of your home, but her light is nothing compared to the comfort of the fire in your home.
the comfort of the man in front of you, even if you didn't want to ever admit it to him now.
the glass jars containing the disinfecting ointment for diluc's wounds clink gently as you open them to spread over his skin.
"why are you helping me?" his voice breaks the thick silence between you two. his sudden question makes your hands pause, but you don't raise your head as you think of something to reply.
"and let an old friend bleed to death outside my door? you think i'm that heartless, diluc?" you ask him. your fingers resume their previous job of slathering the medicine over his new wounds. "i could say the same to you, why show up to my house like this?"
another silence follows your words and you assume he's done interrogating you for your kindness to him.
"i had nowhere else to turn to," diluc says after a while. your eyes catch his fists tighten on his lap as he takes another breath. "you've shown me nothing but kindness even after i was so cruel to you."
you exhale softly at his words. of course he thinks dealing with his own problems this entire time was the worst thing he could do to you. if you were being honest, it did hurt when he seemingly pretended you didn't exist or pushed you away when he had returned home from whatever he was dealing with away from mondstadt.
you had hoped for a joyful reunion, one filled with tears as you finally welcome home your old friend. but he never announced when he was coming home and you only figured out through the grapevine. he was never home when you looked for him and when you finally caught a glimpse of him, your eyes would meet for barely a second before he rushed off elsewhere and leaving you in the dust.
according to kaeya, his brother whom you've kept in touch with throughout the years. diluc had changed even more ever since his return; he kept his feelings to himself and his face remained 'constipated,' as per kaeya's words, due to his inner turmoil.
but from everyone else, he had always been so kind to them. the old women in the city would always praise how gentle the young master was, helping them walk across the city or carrying their groceries if they needed it. the young women also constantly swooned over how mysterious, yet warm-hearted diluc was; seemingly cold in nature but treating children and animals with such tenderness.
"it did hurt knowing you were ignoring me," you confess as your fingers begin to unravel the gauze to wrap over his wounds. "even if you wanted everyone to think you've changed and have become cold and guarded, i know you're still the same caring boy i've known since we were young. i hope so, at least."
his skin is warm to the touch, another feature you realize has never changed about your old friend. with bated breath, you lift your head to let your gaze finally settle on diluc's own. just as you predicted, despite the physical changes, you can still see the diluc you once knew within the scarred and older man in front of you.
diluc has definitely gotten older; the baby fat on his face slimming down slightly to reveal a more defined jaw and the bags under his eyes were evidence of his restless nights away from mondstadt. there are light scars on his face, nothing too deep to keep from his princely demeanor but are definitely proof of a troubling journey, and he has grown taller than the last time you had seen him in your youth.
but one thing that has never changed is the fire the lights up his eyes. so red and warm, you're tempted to hold his face in your hands to get a closer look. they're so vibrant, alive like the embers that flicker in the fireplace that lights your home, as they stare back at you in anticipation of your next words.
"you would never intend to hurt me on purpose. so if i should have to wait forever for you to be ready to come to me like you've had in the past, i don't mind doing so."
diluc's stoic expression wavers at your words. a sliver of guilt shines in his eyes and he looks away briefly as he digests the words you've spoken to him.
he couldn't tell you the reasons why he always kept you at arm's length; was he wary of your intentions for always being kind to him despite how he treated you or was he so used to people close to him lying to his face that he feared you were also pulling a facade?
or was he scared of you sharing the same fate as his family should he loved you with his heart on his sleeve, a fate of being held in his arms as he feels the warmth that once comforted him when you were young fade away like the embers in the hearth of a fireplace?
diluc did not want to know and he did not need to know, not when you're looking at him with such trust and compassion that he finds it hard to even hold any distrust towards you.
his dear friend from his youth who was always there to pick him up when he fell.
you did not break through the walls shielding diluc's heart for you had already found your place beside it, holding he's life with your gentle hands and protecting his soul's flames with your faith in him.
"i'm sorry," diluc apologizes to you, looking into your eyes. one of your hands is grabbed to be held by him, rough and scarred and so calloused as it held the memories and grief of what he went through to become like the man in front of you, the gauze held in your other. his warmth seeps into your skin, heating up your skin as the flames of his heart grow and encase your entire being within its embrace.
your lips part to say something, but he continues to speak.
"i thought keeping you away would benefit us both," he takes a breath as his eyes scan over your own features, taking in all that has changed since the last time he saw you in your adolescent years; how much you've grown both physically and emotionally. you look so much more mature than the naughty child who ran around breaking their mother's rules just to play with him or the dear friend who would bicker with him endlessly during their teenage years.
the years of their beautiful youth, years that he wished so dearly he could go back to and live in that peace for eternity.
but while the winds continue to blow and move time along, you've continued to stay the same despite the change.
you're still so kind, so inviting to someone like him.
you treat him like the friend you've remembered in your adolescence, even if his hands were bloodied with vengeance and his heart is scarred and wounded from betrayal and deceit.
he is still diluc, just diluc in your bright and beautiful eyes; he always had been.
his hands squeeze yours tightly, hoping that he has the courage to say what he wants to say.
"i don't deserve your kindness, or your love. but if i imagine a life where i have succeeded in pushing you away and we no longer talk," diluc begins, the fire in his eyes wavering as they hold your gaze.
"i don't think i would ever want to live a life where you're not in it."
diluc's words shake you to your core; it's something you wouldn't expect him to say now after all these years. as much as you want to immediately forgive him and push back the years of agony, waiting for any sign that he was alive while leaving his vision behind, or even watching as he ignores you despite being home after all these years, your heart aches knowing knowing he even did this to you in the first place.
"how can i know that you won't leave me like you did?" your voice is small despite being so close to him. in fear of having him see how much his actions have affected you, you face tilts down to your lap to avoid his gaze. "i can't just wait for you forever, it hurts sitting here all these years with a promise i don't even know if you'll keep."
you take a shaky breath as you speak again.
"you didn't even say goodbye."
your voice breaks as you say those words and you can feel the burning sensation as the tears threaten to spill over your eyes.
there's a moment of silence between the two of you before you hear him gently call out your name. his free hand reaches up to cup your face, tentatively guiding you to face him. he says your name again, softly as if even saying your name too harshly would cause you to break, and you hesitantly meet his gaze.
there's a tenderness that you recognize deep in those fiery pools in his eyes, one that flickers like the hearth of your fireplace and suddenly you feel like you're experiencing the most beautiful yet fleeting moment in life once more. diluc's thumb gently presses against your cheek to wipe away any tears that overflowed from your already wet eyes.
his pinky links with your own, a childish thing to do but one that you still hold dear to your own heart.
a promise between the two of you bathed in firelight and your youth reflected back at you in the shape of the young man sitting before you.
#diluc x reader#diluc ragnvindr x reader#genshin x reader#diluc fluff#diluc fics#didi writes#seraphiism'23#events !!#this was fun!!#sorry this is really late TT life is life-ing o(-(#n e wayz; i do think diluc would b such an annoying kid LOL#b r a t to the core#but he mellows out and all that fun stuff later#happy new year everyone ! i hope you enjoyed my (late) work !!
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Makashi. Existence itself seemed to grow brighter and more beautiful. Things that had been closed up inside him before became infinitely possible. The movements - old and strange and lovely as edda - changed Dooku. No longer was he the awkward, critical boy who always missed the cue, his too-tall body ruled by a rabbit’s fumbling heart. He was remade, if only in this.
✨COMPLETE 10/10✨
#so dang emotional y'all sorry#I had so much fun writing this fic#come for the clueless 23-year-old Dooku training Rael stay for the slow burn friends to lovers#sifo dyas#dooku#rael averross#pre-prequels#star wars fanfiction#syku#jedi order#sifo-dyas x dooku#rabbit heart fic#my fic#⛏️⛏️⛏️
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Arcade got one whiff of the daddy/mommy issues combo and not 24 hours later he’s snorted a perc and sucked off a man twice his age while he was behind the wheel of a rental car even though his BAC was 0.013%.
#the exact age gap is 23 years 💕#arcade makes bad decisions: the fic#arcade gannon#edward sallow#ask to tag
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they are fukuzawa’s boys, adopted twins, and menaces to the yokohama police
(pls do not tag as beast)
#oriondrewthis#bungou stray dogs#bungou sd#bsd ranpo#bsd odasaku#i’m glad everyone likes my extremely self indulgent au#i’ve literally been thinking about it for three years and it’s like free therapy istg#as far as i’m aware there aren’t really any fics about this au#but i could be extremely wrong about that idk i haven’t read too many bsd fics if i’m being honest#i have a personal google doc full of hcs and drabbles that i’ve been adding onto for years#but that’s really about it#i know i’m not the only one who’s thought about this concept#i just have never interacted with anyone who shares the sentiments who aren’t my friends who i’ve forced the concept onto#i will defo be drawing more of them in the future especially considering. canon events currently agskdjdkd#but yeah thank you for the love 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽#they are brothers your honor#oh it’s very important but ranpo is older#by five days but it doesn’t matter he’s older and that’s what’s important#yes i am ignoring that technically in canon ranpo would’ve been 22 in dark era#and odasaku is canonically 23 in dark era#this is my self indulgent au and i make the rules#two pillars au
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That fic from Akutagawa's pov that remarked how although Dazai had left a bomb under Chuuya's car, at least that showed he had thought about him before going, while he never cared enough to spare a thought for Akutagawa.
#I think about it a lot... Something something the opposite of love isn't hatred but indifference#I can imagine Akutagawa and Chuuya fighting over Dazai when he left#“AT LEAST HE THOUGHT ABOUT YOU!” “HIS THINKING ABOUT ME WAS A FUCKING ATTEMPT TO MURDER ME AKUTAGAWA!”#...#It was supposed to be funny it shouldn't hurt me as much as it does.........#Trust me chuu/aku angst actually hits the hardest and you will never see it coming.#Because it’s not the kind of angst of “oh no my boyfriend has been beheaded by this magic sword that cuts through space and time ://”.#Chuu/aku angst hits right close to home when you least expect it and it’s so real in its inherent humanity it leaves you defenseless#ryūnosuke akutagawa#osamu dazai#chūya nakahara#bsd#bungou stray dogs#mine#q.#23/11/22#I'm sorry I don't remember the fic of course I'll add the link if I find it again#It's just that sometimes you will read something in a fic and go “oh my God” and it feels like you've been run over by a bus#And other times you read a fic and it seems like nothing happened–#and then two years after you realize you're still thinking about that tidbit of lore and you'll be like “oh... oh.”#Like fics that rewrite your entire belief system without you even noticing for real
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What's your version of Jiang Cheng Gives Up? *chinhands*
Hiii! My version of jc gives up is very boring: he gives up on wwx and their shared past and moves on.
An overexposure to yunmeng bros reconciliations has brought me to one conclusion: I don't necessarily need them to reconcile. (Not because: 'jc/wwx is so toxic!' or 'jc/wwx deserves better than that selfish asshole!'. Like, I always roll my eyes. They are two horrible human - fictional- beings who deserve each other!).
But imo, post-canon jc has two priorities:
Jin ling
Himself
First point: he needs to be there for jl. Not only politically! But emotionally too. jl is going through a rough time jc too experienced: a loved ones betrayal. jc knows what it does to you. And listen, one of the things I love about jc is how he is trying his best. Always. In particular when it comes to people he loves. ('but he did a lot of things wrong', thank fuck! He is a traumatized character who behaves like a traumatized character. This scene explains so much about jc imo: jc knows that not having an adult in your life who believes in you is shit. So he tries to give space - in his way- to jl, while fighting his urge to protect him, because the last time every one of his family member was on a battlefield, they died.) So yeah, he is going to try being there for jl, in his imperfect way. And that brings me to point two.
jc has to recalibrate himself, to be there for jl: what he thought were truths, are revealed to be lies. All his life was a lie.
That's my favorite jc's speech. It's visceral, it's painfully honest. He is literally saying to us his state of mind: he is feeling guilty, wronged and confused.
'who am I?' hits hard, because who you are when you have built your life on lies?! Should he feel guilty?! wwx has made this huge sacrifice for him, but he has hurt him too: what should he feel?!
So, because I interpret jc as someone who overthinks, I want him to lose his mind over his doubts and start a journey of healing (or, what realistically someone without therapy can manage).
I want him to look at Lotus Pier, his home, and think: 'dang, what I have managed is incredible'. I what him to realize: 'what wwx made for me was an huge sacrifice, but my feelings are valid too'. I want him to be, not happy, but satisfied, when thinking about his life. And I don't need him and wwx to reconcile, because I like the bittersweet taste their broken relationship leaves in his mouth.
So, my jc gives up is: he learns to live with himself and jl, peacefully.
#Spriteofmushrooms#I also think jc will be sect leader until his last day.#It's fundamental to his character imo#I am a sucker for characters bonded by duties#Also probably I find yunmeng reconciliations so unsatisfying because I disagree with their interpretations of both characters#wwx is always described as this healthy person who accepts his past and moves on.. Denial isn't acceptance.#wwx is still 23. The world against him.#jc is almost 40. Years of leadership and endurance have shaped him.#Character shaped by their trauma and on a self-discovery/healing journey is my favorite trope to write. I like to leave things open-ended#Because healing it's awful. it's made of up and down. And it requires a lot of time#Tbc I still read fics about them. Now only sugar_shoal fics. They are my favorite! Their wwx is my favorite wwx!#Uh I got off track. sorry. :-/
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made a timeline for monk tv for the folks cause it makes no sense sometimes.
[more in the tags]
[update: stottlemeyer's timeline found here]
#tried my best#math really churned itself out here#fic writing resources ahoy#feel free to use <3#monk 2002#monk 2002 timeline#this only counts adrian's age#i got tired of plotting a fic and going “errr wait when does this happen and does this thing im mentioning fit with this period of time???”#esp now that im going crazy about pre-series monk ideas#monk wiki says stottlemeyer is 17 YEARS OLDER THAN MONK#im just??? wot???#how can... that makes no sense. how can stottlemeyer be 81 and the head of security for some rich ass guy in mr. monk's last case? it dont#add up at all. ive always headcanoned that stottlemeyer is like 6-9 years older than monk#what were the writers thinking these ages are wacky#trudy is 4 years younger than monk too.#if we follow how she died when she was 34#and theyd been married for 7 years... that makes her 27 but like. they met in uni. what age were they then???#monk def had to be 23-24 when he met trudy. which makes her 20 :“)#its whack man. making sense of this makes my head hurt#anyway im here to stop all that suffering#here we go#A BETTER TIMELINE#ill update with stottlemeyer's own age timeline soon :>
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how hard can it be to make an official spiderman (peter parker) movie thats gay for me ?????????
#give me boy mj#i dont think im asking for that much#sony wake up !#ive been waiting for quite literally 23 years#who wants to send my way bi peter parker fics so i dont have to look thru the overwhelming infinity of ao3 ??#no deadpool please or any other marvel super hero / villain#i want genderbent mj or an og character#spiderman#peter parker
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Pretty boy please!
WIP Wednesday 12-27-23 (Closed) | Pretty Boy
"Neil said that I could get some practice in." Aaron says before Andrew could develop the headache he felt coming from Neil's logic. "He said 'It didn't matter if I messed up on him'." Aaron holds his hands up to do air quotes around the statement.
"And you agreed?" Andrew asks angriliy.
"Andrew, why are you mad?" Neil asks and the confusion only makes Andrew feel more angry. "It's better if he messes up on me than when it actually matters." he says.
"Why wouldn't it matter?" Andrew hisses and Aaron, wisely, slinks away in this moment.
< PREV | FIRST | NEXT >
#FIC: Pretty Boy#AFTG#AFTG Fic#Andreil#Aaron Minyard#Pretty Boy - Chapter 2 - 24#12-27-23 WIP Wednesday#WIP Wednesday Ask Game#24#LAST WIP WEDNESDAY ANSWER OF THE YEAR#WOOO
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1, 3, 14, 15 for the fic asks!
1. favorite fic you wrote this year
My actual favorite—I know I have mentioned it a lot today—is still going to be Blood-Sucker's Guide to High School. :) I had a lot of help (THANKS) and the plot isn't exactly original, but I still am really proud of how it came out. If I ever get into bookbinding and turn a fic I wrote into a pretty hardcover, it'll be this one, I think!
3. favorite line/scene you wrote this year
Another fic I'm REALLY proud of is the keenest pangs have last remained, the one about Red turning into a vampire. I don't play with poetry or anything very often, but I think it worked really well in that little disorienting story. It isn't a masterpiece, but that one makes me happy to remember that I wrote it.
14. a fic you didn't expect to write
I'd Pay Your Bail. I think I explicitly say in the author's note that I wrote it in a haze in like three days. And that's true.
I had a very specific scene in mind for it that I didn't even end up writing: Shadow taking a rather battered Vio to the police station on his motorcycle, the desk guy taking a second to process, then pointing and going "you're that missing kid!" And then Vio, wiping blood from his nose, responds "no shit."
Obviously, I changed a few things about the situation so that one scene didn't pan out, but it was a fun seed.
15. something you learned this year
Where to use swear words and where not to. I'm not perfect about it, but I feel like I've loosened up a bit and have learned some about how they work in fiction, specifically in my prose. (You helped with that too thank you.)
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Happy New Year to all you lovelies 💕
I'm honestly forever grateful to have carved out such a sweet existence on the internet here with all of you, it's been an honor and a privilege to meet so many wonderful kindred spirits and be able to call them friends :))
May 2024 bring everyone grand new things and lots of happiness 💗
#a.txt#sappy cause while being 23 sucked ass the year itself was full of great experiences#and with any luck I'll kick start the new year with a long ass hand kink fic cause I've been steadily working on it while traveling#taking too long for comfort but it's also currently 15 pages long so bear with me#love you all MWAH be safe while you celebrate and have fun !!
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yesssss please "welcome" for the WIP guessing game :D
Okay, this is hilarious: both you and @purple-ant (who chose "spoon") picked words that appear only ONCE in my billions of drafts, and it's the same small section of Twelve Months to Murder Count Dooku, the upcoming chapter "Lost One." So I'll answer you both with a snip of the scene. “No!” Kenobi lifted his elegant hands, palms flat, fingers pointing up in some motion of disarming. “Yoda wanted you both to know that you would always be welcomed home, but no, I don’t think that…”
“If you’re lying to me to get to Dooku, we’re going to have a problem, I don't care whose Padawan you were.” Sifo-Dyas didn’t have a lightsaber anymore, but he gestured with his spoon. “You…you had better not be lying.”
Obi-Wan raised his eyebrows. He actually looked a little bit interested instead of threatened. “You’re a Master of Soresu.”
“I was,” Sifo-Dyas admitted, returning the spoon to the soup and giving it a stir. “Once.”
“And… and of cooking?” The younger Jedi’s eyes followed the path of the spoon.
“I like to cook.” Sifo-Dyas leveled his dark eyes at the younger man with as much menace as he could summon at the moment. “You have a problem with that?”
#part of Sifo-Dyas and Obi-Wan's bitch off#still very much working on this fic btw#I just find it almost impossible to switch between 23 year old Dooku POV in RH and 70 year old broken ass post-Sith Dooku#super young Dooku is HARD to write man#so gonna finish Rabbit Heart first#thanks for asking friends!!! :D#WIP game still up if you want to send me a word
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Arcade having thick gaudy scars from gender affirming surgery and Edward having thick gaudy scars from a frat branding he got at the same age is something that can be so personal actually
#ask to tag#every time Edward says ‘kiddo’ it makes my skin crawl but we persevere in the name of characterization#white boy summer is over it is now dirty old man fall#the gap is what. 23 years? thats not weird. no one can say its weird.#Arcade Makes Bad Decisions: The Fic#edward sallow#arcade gannon
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🌹🌹🌹🌹
hello hello!! here is a wippet from the beginning of chapter 2 of the ending where you finally find your way home, which i am VERY excited about:
Sam lunged forward at the same time Jamie’s legs gave out beneath him, having been anticipating the eventual collapse for the last five minutes, ever since Jamie’s skin had gone waxen and his eyes had begun darting like a rabbit that’s been caught in a trap. He managed to catch Jamie before his skull connected with the floor, and he hefted him into his arms gently, gently. It was odd, in a through-the-looking-glass sort of way. Sam had jokingly carried Jamie around thousands of times—but never when Jamie had been this young, because Sam had been even younger, and hadn’t yet hit the growth spurt that made it easy now for him to heave almost all of his teammates over a shoulder whenever he wanted to be irritating. Were someone to hold up a mirror to Sam’s face now, he couldn’t be entirely certain that he’d see his proper self staring back. “Is he breathing?” said Jan Maas, venturing closer. It had hurt him more than he was letting on that Jamie hadn’t remembered him; that he’d come from a time before they’d ever met. Sam could tell in the way his mouth pursed at the corners, and in the way his eyes, as they drank in the sight of this newly-twenty-three-again Jamie, were shadowed and pooled, like sunlight darkened by the clouds.
#ask#anon#tyyy for the ask <3#something something jan maas is actually deeply and incredibly loving and caring thx#something something 23 year old jamie is tinee :')#something something i like to believe that sam has a growth spurt around 25#that leads to him growing like five inches jsdkj#ITS FUNNY TO ME!!!!#sid speaks#ted lasso#fic: the ending where you finally find your way home
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July is honestly going to be the most awesome month this year. Like, first Epic: The Thunder Saga drops on the 4th. Then it’s my birthday, and the day after that we’re blessed by the brilliant minds participating in Elucien Week this year. I just think it’s going to be so much fun.
#acotar#epic the musical#starfall personal#elucienweek2024#I’ve only got about 9000 words to post at this point#which is kind of disappointing after my goal being a multichapter fic#but I know it’s still going to be so much fun#am I really going to be 23 this year?
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