#fic titles always song lyrics: check

[savrenim]

mildly annoyed that my brain really only wants to write One Fic Per Fandom because sometimes I have two really good really different ideas but only one of them will be born

[embarrasingmf]

What Was I Thinkin’

PAIRING: Dean Winchester x reader

SUMMARY: you find yourself sneaking out of bobby’s house to be with your boyfriend, dean.

WORD COUNT: 1.2k (I’m writing longer fics yay!)

WARNINGS: established relationship, early seasons dean bc I feel like he’d be more likely to do this, me trying to combine lyrics of a song into a fic (yes, that deserves a warning.)

A/N: uhh obviously this was inspired by What Was I Thinkin’ by Dierks Bentley (PLS LISTEN TO THAT AND 5-1-5-0, THEY’RE BOTH SO GOOD🙏🙏 /nf) also I know dean probably wouldn’t listen to country music but let’s js pretend for the sake of the fic!

You were lying in bed, staring at the cracking paint on the ceiling as you waited for a certain someone to throw a small pebble at your window.

When you heard the thump against your window, you immediately sprung up and looked out.

It was your boyfriend, Dean.

Well… secret boyfriend, technically. Your father, Bobby, didn’t know about you guys yet!

You always remember all the times Bobby had chewed you a new one, blabbering about how much of a bad influence Dean would be.

You didn’t think so, you saw the good in Dean, how sweet he could be despite his rough edges.

Once Dean saw your head peek through the window, a wide grin appeared on his face.

He threw you a wink before beckoning you to come to him. You nodded and quickly shut your window.

You snuck out of your bedroom, narrowly avoiding the floorboards that you knew for sure would creak and possibly wake up your father.

Sneaking out with Dean or friends in general had its perks.

That perk being knowing which floorboards to avoid and which ones to not avoid.

It took you a few extra minutes to get out the front door this time around because last time Bobby had already been awake for some odd reason and asked what you were doing up.

You quickly made an excuse, saying you were getting some water before hastily filling up a glass and retreating back to your room.

It was safe to say that you made it out of the house without any interference from Bobby.

That was until you heard him faintly cursing from inside the house, and you just knew that he saw or heard you sneak out.

You rushed over to Dean’s Impala — or *Baby* as he always called it — and swung the door open, almost ripping it off before climbing inside.

“Drive. Now!” You told Dean in a slightly panicked tone.

Dean raised an eyebrow and looked over, seeing Bobby running out of the house and waving a 12-gauge.

He put Baby in drive and tore out of the junkyard and he could hear Bobby fire a few shots.

He’d have to check his tailgate later.

After speeding down the road for a bit, Dean reached over and pulled out a mixtape for you to take.

me ‘n them was the title that was messily scrawled onto it.

“What’s this?” Came your questioning voice, yet you put the mixtape into the dashboard anyway.

“It’s a mixtape I made. It’s ‘bout us.” Dean explained proudly, hitting a button on the dashboard before you heard a country song start playing.

You looked over at him, slack-jawed and eyes wide. In all the time that you know him, he never listened to country music.

“What Was I Thinkin’ by Dierks Bentley, seriously?” You raised an eyebrow, wondering if Dean was in the right headspace.

“Just listen to it!” Dean assured, casting a glance in your direction. “I promise it’ll remind you about us.”

You sighed and leaned back in the passenger seat of the Impala, listening to the lyrics of the song that was playing.

She snuck out one night and met me by the front gate

Her daddy came out wavin' that 12-gauge

We tore out the drive, he peppered my tailgate

What was I thinkin'?

You scoffed at listening to the lyrics, it sounded just like what had happened moments earlier.

You reached out to turn it off, or skip the song, but Dean smacked your hand away.

“Uh-uh, you’re listening to this song whether you like it or not.” Dean chided, waving a finger in your direction. You huffed.

Oh, I knew there'd be hell to pay

But that crossed my mind a little too late

You had later noticed Dean taking a dirt path that was off the highway, but you didn’t question it. You had a vague idea on what he was planning to do.

So instead, you busied yourself with listening to the lyrics of the Dierks Bentley song that was starting to become catchy.

'Cause I was thinkin' 'bout a little white tank top

Sittin' right there in the middle by me

I was thinkin' 'bout a long kiss

Man, just gotta get goin' where the night might lead

I know what I was feelin'

But what was I thinkin'?

What was I thinkin'?

You felt the Impala jolt slightly as Dean put it in park, opening the car door and climbing out.

You climbed out as well, watching as Dean sat on the hood of Baby and glanced back at you before patting the spot next to him.

You wordlessly complied, the front of the Impala shifting and creaming under your guys’ combined weight.

Dean leaned in close, pressing a chaste kiss to the skin where your neck and shoulder met.

You chuckled, nudging Dean away before looking at him.

“Did you really take me out here just to see the stars?” Dean placed a hand on his chest, feigning offense at the prospect that you didn’t like his surprise.

“You don’t like my gift?” Dean asked, his tone full of playful accusation. “I’ll have you know that I planned this out perfectly.”

You laughed, turning back to the night sky.

“Whatever,”

Dean laughed as well, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and pulling you into his side.

—————————————————————————

It wasn’t until half past two that Dean had gotten you home, and he couldn’t deny the spike of slight nervousness he felt when he saw Bobby sitting on the porch.

That stupid 12-gauge was still with him, too. It was leaning against the porch steps, almost taunting him.

To be honest, Dean wouldn’t be surprised if Bobby decided to shoot him in the chest right there and then.

But he didn’t.

Instead he slowly got up and walked over, arms crossed as he examined the two of you.

Bobby’s eyes landed on Dean, his gaze scrutinizing.

“You idjit, thinkin’ you could just make my child sneak out the house to hang out with ya?” He grunted before moving his gaze to you.

“And you.” You shifted awkwardly, swallowing down your nerves.

You were a hundred percent ready for your father to demand that you stop seeing Dean, even if it’d break your heart.

“I can tell you really like this idjit,” Bobby admitted with a sigh, his arms dropping to the side. “So I’ll let this whole thing slide.”

You felt relief hit you like a freight train, your eyes lighting up with a hint of hope.

“Really?”

Bobby nodded, “Yup. Just make sure to tell me if you’re gonna sneak out later in the night so I don’t almost have a heart attack worryin’ about you.”

You laughed quietly, looking over at Dean.

“Okay, dad.”

Bobby gave a small smile before he walked back inside.

You turned to Dean, smiling at him. “Well, I’ll see ya next time you arrange a date for us.

Dean smirked, “you bet.”

You stepped closer before leaning up and kissing his cheek.

Dean’s smirk fell into a giddy smile before he pulled you in for a proper kiss on the lips.

Soon after, he watched you run back inside as you waved wildly at him in goodbye before the front door closed behind you.

—————————————————————————

tags<3 : @ryvkkr

[whatever-lmaoo]

Make me a star

Summary: You’re giving Bucky a lap dance.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x curvy!reader (i had a plus size reader in mind but anyone can read it! I didn’t use many descriptive words pertaining to size💖)

CW: 18+ This is suggestive as hell(we get close to crossing that line but i didn’t so ig you could say it’s kind of smut, idk😭 ), implied sex, handcuffs, slight dom/sub dynamics, mentions of spanking at the end, I think that’s all but if i forgot anything please don’t hesitate to send me an ask or dm me💖[1.2k]

A/N: Firstly these cute line dividers were made by @firefly-graphics 🌸 I know the title sucks but I had no idea what to name this😭 This is my first time writing something even remotely suggestive, let alone whatever the hell is up under the cut, so I apologize if it’s not the greatest💖 The song I used for this fic is “Dirty Diana” by Michael Jackson. You don’t have to listen to it because it’s not a song fic, I just used a few lyrics. I hope you enjoy and constructive criticism or any nice comments are always appreciated🥹✨💗

After checking that the handcuffs are tight enough around Bucky’s wrists and positioning his hands behind his back doesn’t cause him any discomfort with his shoulder, you stand up and walk towards your dresser, picking up your glass and sipping your drink. “Was cuffing me necessary?” He says, tilting his head to the side, licking his lips slowly as he lets his eyes trail up and down your figure.

You smirk over the rim of your glass, admiring how the dim light from the candles makes his eyes look almost black. “We both know how touchy you get, and I’ll be damned if I let you ruin my gift to you. Plus, I enjoy seeing you all tied up for me.” Biting your lip, you send him a playful wink before heading to your nightstand.

Placing your cup on its surface, you pick up your phone and scroll through your playlist, searching for the perfect song. Your lips form into a smile once you’ve found it. You close your eyes and roll your shoulders back to release any leftover tension before pressing play and setting your phone back on the nightstand.

You turn around as the familiar intro of “Dirty Diana” plays through your speaker, meeting Bucky’s gaze, swaying your hips slightly as you stroll toward your lover sitting patiently in the middle of the room. He whistles as you glide one hand across your thigh to the hem of your robe, bringing it just high enough to cover what’s hidden underneath. Your other hand travels across your neck and down your curves as you roll your hips to the beat.

You trace your fingers up Bucky’s thigh, past his arm, and to his shoulder as you take your place behind him. You bring your other hand around his body, meeting them both in the middle of his abdomen before dragging them slowly up his chest. One hand dips inside his button-up while the other continues its path up the side of his throat and into his hair. You rake your nails against his scalp before tilting his head back gently and dipping your head into the crook of his neck, peppering kisses across the skin, nibbling on his pulse point before sucking it into your mouth.

The way he trembles beneath your touch and the deep moan he lets out sends an addictive sensation throughout your body. You give his hair one last tug before releasing him altogether; continuing your circle around his form, you glide your hand down his other arm, dragging the tips of your fingers over his thigh before stepping in front of him.

Bending over slightly, you put your hands on his knees, watching his eyes fall to the red lace outline of your lingerie that peeks out of your robe. You push his knees together, placing your legs on either side of him and sit on his lap. The sounds of a gasp and a groan fill the room as your heated core meets his jean-clad member.

You watch as his face contorts into one of realization as you continue to grind on his thighs, your wetness seeping into his pants. “Baby, are you not wearing any panties?” You didn’t think his eyes could get any darker, but somehow they did. “Even better,” you say, rolling your hips as you tug on the tie of your robe, releasing the knot and pulling it through the loops, revealing the pretty, crotchless number you’re wearing.

His mouth watering at the sight of your hardened nipples and barely covered pussy drooling over his thighs, begging for some attention. You chuckle at the sound of him struggling against the handcuffs. “Be a good boy and sit still,” you tease, wrapping the belt around his neck and twisting it around your left hand, bringing his upper body forward.

“I’ll be your night-lovin' thing,” you whisper against his neck. You move your head to hover over his head, your nose barely touching his, gripping his chin with your right hand and tilting it up. “I’ll be the freak you can taunt,” the glint of mischief in your eyes grows as you take his bottom lip between your teeth, sucking on the muscle and letting it go with a pop.

Releasing one end of the tie and throwing it carelessly to the side, you let go of Bucky’s chin. You stand on your knees, dragging your chest in front of his face, grinning as he darts his tongue out, licking a line across your breast, and you pull away just as his teeth grazes one of your peaked nipples.

You slide off his lap and slip off your robe, turning around to bend over so he can get a view of your glistening folds. “I’ll be your everything,” you bring your left hand to the back of his head as you sit in his lap again, grinding your ass back into his cock, dragging your hand to the side of his damp cheek.

Turning your heads to face each other, you look him in the eyes as you whisper, “If you make me a star,” against his lips before crashing your mouths together in a needy and lust-filled kiss, humming at the taste of strawberries and chocolate lingering on his tongue. You continue to move your hips as you swallow each other's moans; he sucks on your lower lip as you slowly pull away, needing to breathe, a line of saliva following you as he lets go.

Chest heaving as you rest your head on his shoulder, you shut your eyes and arch your back, wrapping your left hand around the nape of his neck. Bucky watches as you bring your other hand to your sternum, ghosting your fingers down the middle of your chest, passing your soft belly, and leading them to your aching clit.

Just as you’re about to reach your destination, you hear a growl come from the man underneath you and the chain of the cuffs snapping before you feel a warm hand gripping the inside of your thigh roughly while a cold one wraps around the heated skin of your throat. The contrasting temperature and firm hold he has on you sends you into a dizzying headspace, and a loud moan slips past your lips.

“I may have let you restrain me, but touching my pussy will always be off-limits, Doll.” Another moan escapes you, loving when he starts to get rough with you. “If it weren’t our anniversary, I’d spank your ass raw, but since it is, I guess that’ll have to wait until tomorrow.” He stands up and turns you around before lifting you in his arms, walking to your bed, and dropping you in the middle of it.

You move back until your head hits your pillow, spreading your legs as you watch Bucky slowly unbutton his shirt. “Happy anniversary, Baby,” you say, drooling at the sight of his toned abs. His pants and boxers go next, and you clench around nothing when he starts twisting his hand around his hard cock. Climbing on the bed, he hovers over you, kissing you passionately before pulling away slightly. “Happy anniversary, pretty girl. I hope you’re ready because I’m not stopping until you’ve got nothin’ left to sing.” A dangerous smirk grows on his face as he begins to make do with his promise.

[skzdust]

Happy Father's Day, or:

7 times Chan took care of SKZ and 1 time they took care of him

This fic was a request from @bangchans-peach! I wrote it super fast but I loved the idea and I thought it would be a perfect little fic since it's Father's Day! I hope you enjoy it and I hope you all have had lovely Father's Days, whatever that looks like for you <3

Summary: Pretty much exactly the title :)

Pairing: None, platonic skz

Includes: Fatherly(ish) Chan and tooth-rotting fluff!

Word Count: 900

Taglist: @weirdowithaphone, @caught-in-the-afterglow, @palindrome969, @skzstan12345

Reblogs, likes, comments all appreciated!!! Thank you!!!

Masterlist

----

One:

Jisung lays in bed, messing with his hands and trying to keep his mind on anything but the performance they have coming up. His phone dings with Chan’s tone.

Hey, everything alright? If you need to talk I’m here!

He hums in confusion.

What?

Chan responds in matter of seconds.

Was just listening through a couple of your demos and some of the lyrics were kinda intense, thought I’d check in

Yeah, if you have a minute, I would actually really like to talk

He smiles softly as a notification for Chan’s incoming call pops up on screen. The other members are there for him, too, but Chan can always tell when something’s up.

Two:

“No.” Hyunjin groans, resting his head on the table. “It’s bad.”

“It is not bad, Hyunjin.” Chan pauses the track. “I do think it needs some work, but I don’t think it’s bad.”

“There’s a reason I’m not a part of 3Racha, I’m not good at writing.” Hyunjin forces a laugh for his non-joke.

“That’s not true. Look at me.”

Hyunjin tilts his head sideways. Chan’s horizontal face looks reassuring.

“We’re gonna get this song, alright? We’ll kill it. We always do.”

“Mhm.”

Chan can tell it’s not helping. “Wanna take a break? I’ll get us ice cream.”

Hyunjin perks up. “Ice cream?”

Three:

“Go away.” Minho mumbles into his pillow.

The knock at his door gets louder.

“Go away!”

“I’m coming in.” He can hear the door opening, and feels the mattress dip under the weight of someone sitting by his feet.

He peeks out to see who it is.

Chan is looking at him.

“Was it something with that girl?”

Minho buries his face. “No.”

Chan sighs. “For some strange reason, I don’t believe you.”

“Believe me.”

“C’mon, Minho. Don’t be obstinate.”

Minho loosens his grip on his pillow. “You won’t make fun of me, will you?”

“Only if you deserve it.” He teases.

Minho groans, pushing his head down.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding. What’s wrong?”

Four:

Seungmin places his chin on Bang Chan’s shoulder. “Channie, can we do something interesting?”

“We’re learning choreography.” Chan shrugs him off. “That’s interesting!”

“No, it’s not.”

“Shh, Minho might kill you.” He looks at Minho, who’s fixing Jisung’s pose for what might be the thousandth time, judging from the slightly murderous look on his face.

“I wanna do something else.”

Chan somehow always knows just what he means. “You want to play baseball.”

Seungmin nods. “I want to play baseball.”

Chan looks across the room to where Jeongin and Changbin are against the wall, looking entirely too bored, and Seungmin can see the cogs turning in his head. “I think we can recruit a team.”

Five:

“Old man?” Chan raises an eyebrow. “Oh, yes, of course, old man Bang Chan, on his deathbed.”

“Yeah.” Changbin laughs. “Ancient, decrepit Chan.”

“I may be an old man, but I’m your old man.” Chan points to each of them in turn. “And I say video game rights revoked.”

Everyone groans, and Jisung dissolves into giggles.

“But tonight is Mario Kart night!” Changbin whines.

“Nope, you’re the reason I’ve made this rule in the first place, my son.” Chan claps him on the shoulder. “Your brothers only have you to thank.”

“Uh oh, I’d better find a police station, I think I have six assassins on my tail now.”

Six:

“Chaaaaan!” Jeongin slides into the kitchen in sock feet, where Chan is cutting vegetables.

“What?” Chan glances over his shoulder.

“Felix beat me at Mario Kart and now he says he gets to sing my solo at the awards show next week.”

Felix runs into the room, skidding to a stop beside Jeongin. “I won! I do!”

“And you’re coming to me with this… why?” Chan finishes chopping a carrot, scraping it off the cutting board into a pot.

“Because you’re good at talking Felix into sense!”

“Felix… you know you can’t sing the solo.”

“I can!” Felix clears his throat, getting out only the first note of the part before Jeongin elbows him in the stomach and he doubles over with an “oof!”

Chan ignores this. “Besides, you know the publicists would get mad.”

“They would.” Felix grumbles as Jeongin cackles.

Seven:

“Felix!”

Felix turns around, pulling out an earbud. “Hm?”

Chan holds up his phone. “Here, I have a song I need you to listen to. It’s by this American group, The Flaming Lips.”

Felix queues it up. “Okay, this is cool.”

“I thought you might like it. It seemed like a sound you’d like.” Chan returns his phone to his pocket. “And they have more music too, but that one stuck out to me.”

Felix smiles. “I’ll check ‘em out!”

Plus one time they took care of him:

“Can I open my eyes?” Chan asks, holding his arms in front of him like Frankenstein’s creature, feeling around for anything in front of him.

Felix removes the blindfold. “Now.”

Chan opens his eyes as everyone shouts, “Happy Father’s Day!” The dining room has been transformed with streamers, balloons, and a handmade banner, and a cake on the table reads “For Our Old Man Chan!” in messy icing.

It’s all Chan can do to keep from tearing up. “You guys shouldn’t’ve!”

“It’s really the least we can do!” Jeongin smiles from behind the cake. “You’re so good to us, Chan, we’re very lucky to have you!”

Chan smiles, a big, real smile. “I’m the lucky one.”

[ginnsbaker]

In Flames I Sleep Soundly (1/2)

Summary: What do you do when you find out that person you trust the most is a liar? Or the Unfaithful AU that I've been wanting to read for a while.

Word Count: 9k+

Warnings: Angst, Smut (18+), Cheating/Adultery, Implied Het Sexual Content

Author’s Note: I was thinking about making a separate tumblr for fics (since I primarily post fanarts), but I’m too scatterbrained two maintain more than one account. I recently saw Unfaithful (2002) again and thought about doing an AU based on that movie. The title of this fic are lyrics from "Wedding Song" by Yeah Yeah Yeahs. No betas. And I won't apologize for how imperfect this monster is. I haven't written in more than a decade, so let's all suck it up.  

AO3 / Part Two / Masterlist

--

Part One

Summer arrives in Westview, New Jersey in a fairly conspicuous manner. Its parks have been repainted with various shades of green, and the oversized trench coats on the streets that its residents are so fond of during the cold months are nowhere to be found.

Despite these observations, Westview remains a sleepy town. At least it is to you, but that's probably because you’ve spent half of your life in Manhattan. You and Wanda moved to New Jersey a few months ago after you were promoted to branch manager. The salary that came with it was enough to pay off your student loans including Wanda's, so it was easy to accept the offer despite the trade-off of having to move to a relatively unknown and rural town.

"It's only temporary," you told Wanda when you broke the news. "My supervisor said that if I can prove myself there, I can come back as a regional manager."

Wanda had assured you that you had her full support. At the time, she was working part-time at a small gallery for up-and-coming artists in the state, and while she needed to start somewhere to realize her dream of becoming an art dealer, she figured it wouldn't derail her career so much if she could learn art trading online.

Everything happened in a blur after that. In two weeks, you were driving to Westview with nothing but two suitcases and your dog, Sparky, on Wanda's lap. You held her hand while she slept throughout the entire trip and you faced the unknown roads that led to your new life.

The house they picked for you and your family exceeded your expectations. Granted, you had to subsidize a percentage of the move-in fee, it was a small price to pay to have so much space. The bathroom alone is larger than the guestroom of your previous two-bedroom apartment in Yorkville. On the first day, Wanda had explored the house with a childlike wonder, while Sparky tried to cover every inch of its ostensibly boundless backyard. That night, with only a blanket laid out on the floor, you made love to Wanda and then some more on the kitchen counter and the bathtub upstairs, inside the master's bedroom.

You've been married to her for five years, but a fresh start gave you two the sexual appetite of newly weds. It didn’t take 48 hours to christen every room in the house.

By now, a routine has been established: you wake up at five in the morning to go out for a run, back at home by six, and then showered and dressed for work before seven. Wanda, on the other hand, would try to get up before you're done with your ceremonies to prepare breakfast. She's not always successful–sometimes waking up long after you've gone to work.

"You want some coffee?" Wanda wakes you out of your stupor. She's still in her nightgown, holding two cups of freshly brewed coffee. Her auburn hair is up in a messy bun and she is, after all these years, a sight to behold.

You look at her and then at your left wrist to check the time on the Rolex she gave you as a wedding gift. You still have a few minutes, but there's an urgent staff meeting that you're a little anxious about.

"And maybe some omelet?" Wanda suggests when you don't answer, already cracking some eggs in a bowl.

"Sorry, babe, got to run." You shake your head apologetically before walking over to her and kissing the back of her head. Wanda merely continues whisking the eggs for a while before commenting, "Until when are you going to have these early meetings?"

"I don't know. Maybe the end of the month?"

"You're the boss. Can't you just call them off? Maybe schedule them during actual office hours?"

You shrug and say nothing, unwilling to engage in an argument so early in the day. Wanda exhales heavily at your lack of reaction, which compels you to reach for her hand and stroke it. Seeing how she’s not pulling away from your touch, you move to hug her from behind.

"I'll try to be home early tonight, okay? I miss you too." You say softly and kiss her cheek.

"I didn't say I miss you." Wanda deadpans, but she's already turning around in your arms for a proper embrace. You kiss her forehead and let her hold you for a few beats. She buries her nose in your neck and inhales deeply. “I told you to stop wearing this perfume. It makes you unbearably enticing.” Wanda admonishes you with a hungry look.

It’s embarrassing how easily your wife can turn you into a bashful teenager with a little flirting.

“Well, maybe you should do something about it.” You playfully taunt her.

“Maybe I will.” Wanda says in a low voice, and she’s close enough for you to notice the total lack of green in her eyes.

As much as you want to rip her silky lingerie and take her right then and there, the fact is you are already going to miss the first few minutes of the meeting–and then maybe a quarter of it if you don’t leave soon.

"I really have to go. But first things first," You grab one of the two cups of joe and Wanda starts giggling when you drink from it in one go. "Best coffee in the world. Maybe you should start a cafe business."

"Idiot." Wanda taps your nose affectionately, before shoving you towards the door.

Later, you arrive home just a few minutes shy of midnight. The house is deathly silent, even your dog could not be bothered greeting you at the door. You go straight to the bedroom, making as little sound as possible, to find Wanda asleep on her side, facing away from you. You get rid of your clothes and climb into bed. You carefully inch towards her and press your front against her back, spooning her. You hear her breath hitch, but before you can start thinking of an apology, you fall fast into a dreamless sleep.

***

It’s two months later and on a lazy Sunday afternoon, when Wanda breaks the news that she’s been offered a temporary position at Westview Institute of Arts and Sciences. You’ve watched your wife gradually grow restless each week, having a difficult time adjusting to life in the suburbs. Wanda interviewing for a job wasn’t as forthcoming as her asking you to move back to the city. Taking the job would mean integrating with the community in a semi-permanent way. So it’s a surprise that Wanda would even consider it.

"Assistant professor?" you ask distractedly, not looking up from the Jonathan Tropper novel on your lap. Wanda’s perched on one of the barstools of the breakfast counter, waiting for her banana bread to be done in the oven. Sparky lays at her feet, also waiting for the banana bread.

"What do you think?" Wanda muses and drums her fingers on the table.

You regard your restless wife for a moment, before closing the book and tapping the spot next to you on the couch. “C’mere.”

Wanda does as she’s told and Sparky follows after her.

"I think it’s a great opportunity and experience to have. But I thought you're getting a lot of projects from Upwork."

You try not to sound too partial to the idea of her working in the university. However, if you’re being totally honest, it would essentially solve the problem of your wife’s mild existential crisis– and your guilt of probably causing it.

"It’s just a side-hustle,” Wanda argues. “Besides, they’re going to need me only three times a week and they offered me a full-time pay.”

“Sounds too perfect to be true.”

Wanda shakes her head. “I don’t think so. It’s not unheard of that there’s a huge demand for educators in small-town institutions.”

“So you’ll take it?”

Wanda nods with a smile and then says, “Only if you’ll drive me in the morning.”

“Of course, baby.” You say almost instantly and give her a quick peck on the lips. It doesn’t even matter that Wanda has her own car since she hates driving with a passion.

"Professor Maximoff." Her potential designation rolls off your tongue coolly. You’ve never really pictured Wanda in academe before, and now you can’t get rid of the image of her in a perfectly tailored suit.

The corners of Wanda’s mouth quirk up in a dreamy smile. "Kinda has a ring to it, huh?"

"A very sexy ring to it, professor."

Wanda giggles as you go ahead and think of ways to sneak into one of her classes some time in the near future.

"I'd tell you I've gotten a job at Baskin' Robbins and you'd say I look hot in their uniform." she points out.

"I bet you're hotter with all your clothes off."

Suddenly, the oven dings and Sparky starts barking at Wanda.

“And you’ve got a one-track mind,” she mutters with an undercurrent of mirth, before getting up to return to her baking. “Ten points from Hufflepuff!”

You burst into a fit of laughter. “Can’t blame me for having a hot wife. Also, I’m a Gryffindor you vexing Slytherin!”

Wanda can be the biggest dork at times, and it only makes you fall for her a little harder in these moments.

She sticks her tongue out at you. “Dream on, Badger Queen.”

***

It’s some kind of Hollywood domestic bliss.

You still wake up at five to go out for a run, but now Wanda’s your running buddy and you’re always trying to catch up with her pace.

“I can’t believe this gives you more energy than coffee.” she said the first time she laced up and she finished her run a minute faster than you. You thought it’s ludicrous that Wanda was a natural athlete on top of her good looks, but you figured it was an organic truth given that her brother played professional soccer for a couple of years before he got into the business side of sports.

Most days, you’d let Wanda clean up first while you cook breakfast. On one occasion that you joined her in the shower, Wanda turned up so late in class some of the students were already preparing to leave.

“That can’t happen again.” Wanda told you.

“Whatever you say, babe.”

You’d been married to her long enough to know that Wanda often broke her own rules. Historically, you’d watch her do so with satisfaction just because it’s usually an unspoken challenge between married people. And maybe because it reminded you that she’s human. Imperfect as much as you were.

“Just be careful, Y/N,” your best friend, Natasha, told you a month into dating Wanda Maximoff. “Mistakes and disappointments are inevitable. Hell, even I will let you down at some point in the future.”

“You have. Many times.” you said jokingly.

“Is that right? Look, all I’m saying is it’s also not fair to Wanda if you put her on such a high pedestal.”

Natasha was right. However, it wasn’t like you could change who you were and how you loved. The night you met Wanda at freshman orientation, you knew she was the one. You loved her through college as her closest friend as much as you did when she began to see you in a new light thereafter.

And even now, as you stare at her sneaking a nap on the drive to her workplace, nothing has changed. It’s a cherished moment, no matter how mundane.

Your hopeless crush on Wanda never really went away.

You feel very lucky that she feels the same way.

***

You’re about ten feet from the door of your house when you hear scratches from behind it, followed by Sparky’s incessant barking. Quickly, you fish out your keys from your backpack and open the door.

Sparky jumps at you as soon as the door swings open, and then starts licking at your pants.

“What’s up?” you say, scratching behind his ears until he calms down.

You look around the empty living room and notice for the first time that Wanda’s not home.

You send a text to her asking where she is. Sparky is making whiny noises, while pushing his empty bowl towards you with his tiny paw.

“Sorry, bud. Let’s get you your dinner.” You say, picking up the bowl and bringing it to where you store his food. You open the cupboard to find a mostly empty bag of Merrick. Sparky patiently waits for you, wagging his tail. Wanda was supposed to get some groceries this afternoon.

You check your phone and find no new messages.

“Looks like you’re coming with me for a quick run to the grocery store.” You tell Sparky with a sigh.

Sparky tilts his head at you in confusion. You send another text to Wanda telling her you went out and ask if she’s already eaten, before heading out to your car once again.  

You don’t hear back from Wanda long after you’ve had dinner by yourself and it’s almost midnight. Your anxiety levels are at an all-time high, and you’re about to call the cops when you hear her car approaching the garage.

You’re waiting by the door, so at the very second she slips inside the house, you hoist her into a desperate embrace like a mad woman.

“Where were you?” You exclaim as you pull away and clasp her shoulder blades hard. “I’ve been worried sick and you went dark on me.”

Wanda winces at you, gently prying your fingers from her. “My phone died and I forgot to bring my charger. I was writing the final exam that I have to turn in by tomorrow, and got carried away. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t do that again. You couldn’t have borrowed someone’s cell or call from the school?”

“Like I said, I was working,” Wanda rolls her eyes, just a tad snidely. “It’s Westview. What’s the worst that could happen to me? Please let it go, I’m so fucking exhausted.”

It’s not that you’ve never heard your wife curse before, but you can’t help but flinch given the context at which she’s said it.

“Fine,” You clench your jaw, stepping out of her way. “We’ll talk about this in the morning.”

“Sure.” Wanda says stoically.

You don't talk about it in the morning. Or at all.

***

The forecast is you’re not going to hit this quarter’s targets. You’ll be two to three percent short, and everyone is telling you there’s not enough time to pull off a new campaign and drum up enough business to meet the numbers.

Your stubborn nature beseeches you to try anyway. It is, of course, at the cost of being stuck in front of your laptop in the dead of night.

Wanda approaches you to see if you need anything before she goes to bed without you. You smile at the sweet gesture but shake your head no.

“I’m good,” you say.

“Are you sure? I’ve got us fresh tea bags.”

“Positive.”

“Okay, good night.” she offers you a faint smile and starts to leave the room.

“Wands?” you utter abruptly.

She pauses and leans against the door frame. “Yeah?”

“Do you love me?”

“Of course, I love you,” Wanda drags her feet back to you. “What a silly question.”

“I guess I’m just feeling silly. We’ve been working hard, and when we’re together,” You let out a mirthless laugh. “We’re still working.”

Wanda nods solemnly but doesn’t speak. You can’t see her eyes with just a lamp lit on your desk and you're oddly grateful for that.

“I just miss you.”

“Me too.”

“Okay, uhm,” you fidget, suddenly feeling self-conscious. “Good night.”

“Good night.”

***

You wake up to wet kisses all over your face, only to be sorely disappointed to find out it's just Sparky, while Wanda looks at you softly as she waits for you to shake off the residues of sleep.

“Baby, I need a favor.” Wanda says.

"Good morning to you too." You reply good-naturedly.

Wanda ducks her head sheepishly. "Sorry, I've been waiting for you to wake up. I've said ‘good morning’ in my head, like, a hundred times." she tells you.

You silently brush a lock of hair from her face, before scooting closer to her and pressing a small kiss on her forehead.

"How can I be of service, m'lady?" you ask.

Wanda gets to it immediately. “There’s this painting I need from where I used to work. I need to bring it tomorrow, but I can’t take the day off. There’s no substitute because, well, I’m supposedly the substitute.”

“Sure, I’ll drop by there after work.”

Wanda makes a bashful noise of disapproval. “They’re only open until three-thirty.”

It’s a bad time to be missing work these days, but Wanda rarely asks for your help with anything. She’d sooner ask a stranger than her partner. There's one ex-boyfriend of hers you actually got to talk to in the past long before you and Wanda happened. The conversation was short, with mostly him talking–or rather ranting about how Wanda never made him feel needed. He went as far as claiming that she emasculated him in many ways. You never agreed with his insinuations of it being Wanda's flaw, and that it contributed to the downfall of their relationship. You like that Wanda is not a damsel in distress and that she carries herself with an air of confidence that only a truly independent woman can exude.

Although it does feel good to be needed sometimes.

“I’ll take care of it.” You assure her.

“Thank you,” Wanda says, and then proceeds to give you a tight but fleeting hug. "Alright, I'm gonna go get ready."  

You plop back on the bed with a huff. You haven't gone out on a proper date with Wanda for months, and you don't know how much longer you can survive this routine of late nights and rush hours. Maybe a vacation isn't too improbable by the end of August. Wanda's always wanted to visit Maui and, but you've kept deferring it until next year. A year has turned into two, three, and you don't realize it until just now that she's stopped mentioning it to you.

You make a mental note to search for discount flights later. Or maybe you can start with something more feasible like, say, lunch?

"Wands?"

The noise of the running shower drowns out your call, so you lumber from the bed and towards the bathroom.

Your mouth goes dry at the view of Wanda's soaked body, nostrils flaring at her stupid rule of no sex before work.

Wanda turns around and your eyes drop lower.

"Jesus, Y/N!" she gasps, then lets out a breathy laugh.

"Sorry," you lie, smirking at her nakedness. "Should we go out for lunch later?"

"I'd love to," Wanda says. "But I've got a lunch meeting with the dean."

"I see." you say and linger by the door. The crestfallen look on your face doesn't go unnoticed by your wife.

"We can have dinner," Wanda proposes tentatively. "Maybe drive to the city for some steaks and a dive bar after?"

Your eyes light up at her suggestion, heart brimming with repose.

"I'll pick you up at seven," you say. "It's a date."

Wanda throws a wink in your direction before turning back around to lather herself with your favorite soap.

-

Finding a parking space in Soho is almost next to impossible. You've only been living out of Manhattan for a couple of months, but it already feels like the population has doubled since. You're thinking about just leaving the car somewhere near the island and using the subway, when a woman enters your view and you step on the break as fast as you could. There's a loud screeching sound to be heard before the woman is rushing to your door with every intent to pulverize you on the spot.

As soon as you roll your window half-way through, a string of profanities welcome your ears like a gunshot. What you don't count on is hearing them from a spectacularly familiar voice.

"You almost got me killed you fucking asshole –"

You tilt your head towards your assailant. There's no mistaking that pair of green eyes.

“Yelena?"

Natasha's younger sister stares at you wide-eyed before her face breaks into the brightest smile.

"Y/N?"

"I almost didn't recognize you. I'm glad you still remember my name." you say. The last time you saw each other was right before Yelena went to an English university that you’ve forgotten the name of(it rhymes with ‘weed’) and you were a freshman in college. Yelena was a brunette then; she used to wear thick-rimmed glasses and her hair was always up in a low ponytail. The Yelena in front of you has blonde hair, a nose-piercing, and a cherry blossom tattoo on her chest that trails down and disappears into the collar of her blouse.

"How could I forget the only friend of my sister who was ever nice to me?" she quips with a toothy grin.

You blush at the fond memory of tutoring Yelena and treating her often to street shawarma.

"That's not true. Bruce was friendly with you as well."

"That's because he was dating my sister and wanted to get on my good side. What are you doing here anyway?"

"Looking for somewhere to park. Do you happen to know any in the area?"

"I've got one if you want. It's just down the street, second corner to your right."

"You're renting a parking space in Manhattan? I'm absolutely impressed."

“Oh, no!” she exclaims. Then adds, "It's my roommate, Kate's. She's loaded."

"Are you sure it's okay?"

Yelena nods and you thank her as she lets herself in your car.

The parking turns out to be too narrow, and so Yelena has to get out before you slot your car in the spot securely. Afterwards, she asks you where you’re off to, and you tell her that you’re picking up a painting for your wife. You ask her to come with you when she expresses an interest in the gallery.

You reacquaint yourselves with each other on the long walk to Wanda’s previous workplace. The conversation is, for lack of a better term, enjoyable. Yelena has always been an easy person to talk to–a remarkable contrast to Wanda who is often a challenge.

“When did you come home?” you ask suddenly after a while of talking about your work and recent settlement at Westview.

“Two years ago.”

You’re taken aback by her answer, feeling a bit hurt as you process the new information. Yelena’s been here all this time. Why didn’t she try to contact you?

“My cell didn’t ring either, you know.” Yelena tells you as if she can read your mind.

“Nat didn’t mention anything. I assumed you were still in London.”

“Leeds. The British are right about us not knowing any other city in the UK.” Yelena chuckles. “I told Nat to keep her mouth shut about my affairs.”

Before you could reply, Wanda’s ex-colleague, Agatha, comes out with the painting in hand. Yelena saunters off to observe the artworks on display.

“Thank you, Ms. Harkness.” you say, accepting the piece that was about the size of Mona Lisa.

“Welcome, dear. Whoever bought this must be made with money.”

The painting is wrapped in manila paper and it makes you curious who it is for. It must be someone who held a high position at Wanda’s university.

You excuse yourself with a polite nod, unaware of the look of suspicion she directs at Yelena, as your companion trails behind you on the way outside.

“Someone’s got a crush on you.” Yelena bumps your shoulder with hers.

“Wanda seems to think so too. Though I bet she’s just a nice old lady.”

Yelena laughs and slaps your arm this time. “Dude, she’s not old, old !”

“Someone’s got a crush,” you tease her back. Then, as if on cue, a reckless motorist speeds through a puddle, causing a wave of wastewater to splash all over your shirt.

“Shit,” you hiss, frowning at the ruined fabric of your white button-down. Yelena takes out her handkerchief and proceeds to wipe the specks of grease from your neck and face.

“Come on, we have a washer in the apartment.”

-

"Sorry I couldn't come to your wedding."

The hot coffee you just sipped refuses to come down your throat.

Yelena snickers at the dumb look on your face and says, "I'm just messing with you."

Your veins pulse in your temple as you force yourself to swallow. Yelena’s having a field day with you, poking fun at you on every opportunity.

"I'm so sorry for not extending an invite. It happened pretty quick. It was just your sister and Clint, and then Wanda's brother, Pietro. Our reception was at a pub in Brooklyn, and just getting absolutely shitfaced." you rush out, toying with the sleeves of Yelena’s sweater you borrowed. It’s cozy despite the hot weather. And undeniably smells like her.

"I know, Nat told me. Hey, I'm not offended. Besides, getting a wedding invitation from you would've been weird because,” Yelena pauses, and then sadly says, “We haven't connected in a long time."

"Yeah," you agree with a rueful smile. You haven't spoken to or thought about Yelena since you met Wanda.

“What’s she like?”

“Wanda? She’s…” It dawns on you that it’s not easy to translate your regular daydreams of her into a description you’d share with someone else.

“Exquisite,” you say, after going over various adjectives in your head. “And driven and smart. A glass half-empty to my glass half-full.”  

“I’m happy for you,” Yelena mutters over her glass of Merlot.

“And Kate? How did you meet her?”

“We’re just friends.”

“Who are living together,” you point out.

“Best friends then.” Yelena says, unperturbed.

You smirk. “If you say so.”

“I’ve dated around, but I never really found someone who could replace–” Yelena bites her lower lip to stop herself.

Except, she didn’t have to because you know.

You’re both quiet for a while, before you break the silence with, “Anyway, thanks for the parking and saving my shirt.”

"You did take my virginity. That's something I can never repay you for."

You’re too shocked to react–she is too, at her brazenness–that for a while you just stare at her with your mouth agape.

Placing the coffee mug on the table, you get up on shaky feet.

“Sorry, that was a bad joke. I–”

“You know what, I should go."

"Oh," Yelena gets on her feet as well. "But your shirt?” she asks weakly.  

"I'll just continue drying it at home. And then," you look down at the sweater you borrowed from her. "I'll mail this to you."

"Don't worry about that, I haven't worn that in ages."

"I promise to return it."

"Okay."

"Alright, so," Not quite knowing how to say good-bye, you jerk your thumb towards the door. "I'm gonna head out now."  

Yelena closes the distance to give you a hug, which she keeps short when you go rigid at the proximity of her body and yours.

"Bye, Y/N."

***

Wanda cancels dinner at the last minute. You’re surprisingly amenable and just text her when she’ll be home. You decide to cook for Wanda and try to convince yourself it’s not because you just need to keep busy and not think about what happened earlier with Yelena.

***

It’s Wanda’s day-off and she’s overslept. You watch your wife sleep soundly on her stomach, without a care in the world. Like this, the years fall away from her face and she looks like the girl you strongly want to protect for the rest of your days. Your eyes scan the room, until they fall onto the chair beside the bed. Hanging over it is a newly-bought lingerie with its tags still attached to it.

“Can you stop being a morning person just for today?”

You avert your gaze from the piece of clothing upon hearing Wanda’s voice still thick with sleep.

“Hi,” you greet your wife, twisting your wedding ring on your finger.

“Hi.” Wanda greets back, peeking at you from the comforter.

“I made breakfast, who’d you like to join me?”

“Sure, just give me a minute.”

You think about telling her you’ll wait until she’s ready and you can go together, but there’s an air of unfamiliarity and awkwardness hanging over your head–even worse is you don’t know where these feelings are coming from.

You don’t mean to count but it takes Wanda roughly twenty minutes to meet you at the breakfast table. It’s easy to force down your irritation when she looks immaculate and very put together.

Together, you eat in silence. You try to make conversation but in the end, Wanda’s responses are clipped and unfocused, so you just concentrate on finishing your oatmeal.

"You and I had a pretty crazy schedule recently, so I thought I'd take the day off and do something together." you say after waiting for Wanda to finish her meal.

"That's great, baby," Wanda smiles at you, before getting up to take the dishes to the sink.

Sneaking up behind her, you gently place your hands on the curve of her waist, and your lips just beside her left ear. For a while, you massage the flesh beneath your palms, feeling firm muscles instead of softness you're used to. Wanda's body has transformed right under your nose, and while you appreciate her more toned figure, you hope she's not being too restrictive with her diet.

"Leave them, baby. I'll do the dishes later..." You press an open-mouthed kiss to the skin just beneath her lobe. "...after I do you."

She squirms in your embrace, and you interpret it as a sign that she's getting turned on from your advances.

"Y/N–" Wanda doesn't get to finish her sentence as you twist her around and gently capture her lips. While she kisses you back with her hand coming up to wrap around your neck, she doesn't make a move to deepen it, seemingly satisfied with lazy pecks that end sooner than you'd like.

"Can I take you back to bed?" You inhale her scent soundly as you nose the length of her stupidly perfect jawline.

"I actually have to uhm–the laundry won't take care of itself." Wanda reasons, but doesn't really pull away from your hold. You take this opportunity to slide your hands up her back, beneath her shirt, and you can feel her goosebumps from your eager ministrations. Only now, being this close to her, have you realized how much you missed your wife.

Ignoring her excuses to thwart your affections, your fingers find the hook of her bra with ease. You snap it free and hastily move to grab both of her breasts, squeezing them tightly. "God, the things they do to me." You groan. She gasps at that, and by now, she should be pushing her chest towards you for more, but she remains slack as ever, like an obedient ragdoll under your whims.

Something's not right, you thought to yourself. You pull back just enough to check, and what you find has you swiftly stepping back to give her some space.

The expression alone on your wife's face could send you to jail.

"Shit, are you alright?" You rasp, overwhelmed with self-disgust at the thought of causing Wanda the slightest discomfort. Were you just about to take advantage of your wife without her consent?

Wanda looks at you with regret that you couldn't quite understand.

"D-Did I hurt you?" You dread the possible answer, tears pooling at the corners of your eyes.

Wanda quickly closes the distance between the two of you and envelops you into a hug.

"Oh, baby, no you didn't. I'm so sorry I made you think that." She coos, rubbing your back in soothing circles. You sigh against her shoulder, carefully keeping your hold on her hips loose.

"I just missed you so bad these past few weeks, and I thought you wanted to… it's okay if you don’t. I'm sorry."

It breaks Wanda's heart that you're taking the blame for this. She feels annoyed and guilty at the same time, at how apologetic and sensitive you are to her feelings, as if they matter more than yours do.

"It's not your fault. There's just so much to do and I can't get in the mood until I tick off everything on my to-do list."

"I know. I’m sorry."

"Stop apologizing," Wanda chastises and it comes out harsher than she intended. "You're perfect. I'm sorry. I miss you too. So bad."

"I love you." You tell her, burying your face into her hair to seek more of the lavender scent of her shampoo. It used to frighten you how much the little details about Wanda affects you in big ways. But that fear has turned into comfort, and you've grown to trust her enough to be happily vulnerable around her.

It doesn't worry you at all when she says she loves you back after a long, mysterious pause.

***

Wanda starts driving herself to work and attributes it to her inconsistent hours at the university for the rest of the term. Sparky’s in the dog daycare now more frequently than he is at home.

***

Wanda has gone up to take a shower before bedtime.

You just finished scrubbing the kitchen clean after having dinner together, and you're buzzing with the prospect of getting laid tonight. Your tactic to get your wife to sleep with you is to offer her a massage after witnessing firsthand how hard she's been working lately. In a way, you also want to show your appreciation for everything she still continues to do in the household. And although she accidentally burned the lasagna, she outdone herself with the roasted chicken.

It still amazes you to this day that you’re married to Wanda Maximoff.

Making as little sound as possible, you climb the stairs and towards the bathroom. You can hear the sound of water hitting the floor, and you can't help but imagine Wanda's naked body, lathered in soap, her brunette hair sticking to her clavicle. Your mouth waters at the prospect of taking her, pressing her against the wall and reminding her what you've both been missing for weeks. And just like that, your earlier tactic is out the window.

With practiced ease, you wrap your hand around the doorknob and twist it as gently as you can.

But something unexpected happens.

Wanda's locked the door. "That's odd." You mumble to yourself.

You decide to knock instead. "Baby?" You call out.

No reply comes for several seconds, and as you were going to leave, thinking she didn't hear you, Wanda's breathless response echoes through, "I'll just be a minute! Did you need something?"

"Hey! Uh, no. I was just going to–" You suddenly feel like an idiot wanting to sneak in for some surprise sex. "Never mind. You locked the door?"

"Oh, did I?"

"Yeah! It's fine, I'll just use the toilet downstairs."

She doesn't say anything else to that and you awkwardly turn on your heel to actually use the toilet downstairs.

***

You google ‘ how busy are part-time assistant professors’ on the second straight-week Wanda’s been going home later than The Late Night Show with Jimmy Fallon.

***

Your best friend finally comes around and visits you in Westview. Although you wish it weren't on pitiful circumstances that warranted her special skills of exposing people and their secrets. Even to this second, you're still unsure if you really want her help. You can't even be sure of your own sanity. The only thing you know is that you feel more like yourself now that Natasha's here with you. You've made new friends in your new neighborhood and at work, been invited to weekend barbeques and the local cycling community. But the sense of being alone has never been this strong as when you were living in the city, barely keeping any sort of acquaintanceship and let alone a meaningful friendship.

“You know I don’t do this anymore.” Natasha claims with a huff. "And typically, consultation alone will cost you a grand."

“And I never thought I’d ever ask you to do this.” You shake your head apologetically as you help her deposit her luggage in the trunk of your old Mercedes Coupe.

“I still think you’re just overreacting.” Natasha says as she settles in the passenger seat. It's what you want to hear, but instead of pacifying you, they urge you more to dig for the truth of it all.

"Weren't you always telling me in college that Wanda's too boy-crazy to really be with me?"

Natasha rolls her eyes. "Yup. But then she married you, and I lost ten bucks to a wager with Clint."

"You wagered on the most important event of my life?" It's the first time you're hearing that two of your closest friends gambled on your critical life choices. You're not exactly surprised per se, but it makes you curious about what made them choose which side of the coin.

"Well, no," she answers nonchalantly. "We wagered on almost everything. Like who would you lose your virginity to: Carol or Maria. Two beautiful women who had been throwing themselves at you for a whole semester."

"Who won that bet then?"

"Nobody. Remember when we bought you drinks after you finally slept with Wanda? That's where all the stakes went. We both lost."

"So after my marriage, what else did you put your money on?"

Natasha smiles. "None. That was the last of it. It's not right to give odds beyond a happy ever-after."

If she notices your deathly grip on the steering wheel, she doesn't comment on it.

***

Wanda's serving you the cold-shoulder for not giving her a heads-up about Natasha. You try to ask her why it's such a big deal, and she begins ranting about dinner portions and the “chaos” in the living room: some skewed pillows and a bundle of her students' reaction papers on the center table. Natasha is outside, waiting, so you try to help Wanda straighten the room but she merely dismisses you and asks you to drive for take-out.

"If it's too much trouble for you, we'll just get dinner somewhere." you say.

Wanda narrows her eyes at you murderously, as if you've just made things much worse.

"Fine," Wanda says with finality as she walks up the stairs. "Give my regards to Nat."

And then she's gone, but not before slamming the door of the guest bedroom shut.

You're absolutely fuming when you go back to the car and Natasha peers at you questioningly from the passenger’s seat.

"You in the mood for pizza?" you ask instead of explaining why you can’t still invite her in.

Natasha scrunches her nose in disgust. "Pizza in New Jersey? No, thanks. How about Chinese?"

"Sure." you nod in agreement, having already lost your appetite anyway. You toss the car keys at her. "You drive."

-

You're laying on your back, staring at the ceiling. Wanda hasn't uttered a single word to you ever since you got home from dinner with Natasha.

"She used to spend the night every week at our apartment." you whisper in the darkness.

"What?" Wanda mumbles and shifts onto her back as well with an arm draped over her eyes.

"Natasha," You clarify. "So it didn't cross my mind to inform you that she's visiting. It's just how it's always been."

Beside you, Wanda is mute as a statue. She does this sometimes–tune you out. Wanda claims it's her way of circumventing her anger and saying something she might regret.

For all you know, she could be telling the truth. But to you, it just feels like you're being punished.  

"Wands?" you try. She rolls to her side with her back to you.

You're in hell every time you fight with Wanda. Returning to normal is not an option unless you fix it. You wonder if it's the same for her, or if it's something as trivial as running out of toilet paper or an expired carton of milk left in the fridge.

"Baby?" you try again. It seems like it's all you ever do these days. "Please?"

You hear Wanda release a ragged sigh.

"We're fine, Y/N. Let's just go to sleep."

You nod to yourself and finally let go of the tears you've been holding back. Subsequently, Wanda's cold hand reaches for yours and locks your fingers together. It makes you cry harder, but you can't let her know.

***

Natasha is still radio silent a week after you’ve asked her to spy on your wife.

It's not like her to be slow with the results. You take the lack of news as good news.

***

You wake up in the middle of the night to find Wanda's side of the bed empty.

"Wanda?"

"Hey, baby."

You rub the sleepiness off your eyes at the sight of Wanda’s puffy eyes.

“Are you crying?"

Wanda chuckles, shaking her head. "Sorry, I was watching this movie. You know how I get."

You grin at that. "My big crybaby." You sit beside her on the couch and she snuggles to you.

For a while you stay that way, your fingers playing with her hair, and Wanda, palming your cheek affectionately. It brings you back to years before, when she was merely a close friend who would lay her head on your shoulder while she cried about some guy who didn’t deserve her. Like this, Wanda seems so small and vulnerable. You’ve come to realize a long time ago that whatever she’s done, or is to do, you will always feel the need to protect her at all cost. That was the last strip of armor you had given up when you decided to love her until the end.

Then all of a sudden, you see a flash of brown and you end up on your back as Wanda straddles your hips, her eyes darker than you've ever seen them.

"Take off your shorts." She commands in a rush, her own hips already starting a rhythm. You do as she says, but you only manage to move down your shorts and underwear past your ass, when you feel a finger swipe at your wet slit.

"Fuck. Patience, baby." you moan, feeling yourself get slicker.

"Don't have any," Wanda rasps and she sucks the very same finger into her mouth before taking over your undergarments and sliding them all the way down to your ankles. You've barely kicked them off before she spreads your legs and doesn't waste any time tracing your intimacy with her tongue. Her patience comes back eventually, but you're about to lose yours when she doesn't do anything else other than softly brush the tip of her tongue from your tight hole to the underside of your clit. She does this over and over and over, until your legs begin to tremble from being spread out like an eagle for what seems like an eternity.

You clench your core and try to come just from what she's doing, but it's not enough.

"Please, I need more." You manage a whisper although you're unsure if Wanda heard you.

"I've missed you so much, Y/N." You feel her say against your pussy. "I've missed making you feel good. Missed feeling this way with you..."

What way? You want to ask, but your brain is too muddled with lust to care.

You could only grunt in reply, before Wanda is pulling away in order to arrange your position on the sofa. You've almost forgotten how physically strong she is, and it turns you on so much, you nearly peak. Wanda grabs both of your ankles and pushes them back, until they're on either side of your head, near your ears. Heat spreads across your face and down to your neck for being exposed like this. Wanda takes a moment to appreciate the mess she's made between your legs, her teeth digging at her lower lip. You can't bring yourself to watch her watch you, and you stare at the same spot before you feel her lift your chin to kiss you in the most delicate way.

"I love you." She murmurs against your lips. Every fiber of your being is ablaze as you take in the smallest details of this moment: your taste that you two shared in a kiss, the mingling scent of your arousal and hers, the endearing sweat on Wanda's brow that's making her more desirable than any lingerie could ever. You'd never admit it to Wanda, but sex was something you only learned to want and need when you fell in love with her.

You smile up at her. "I love you. More than you could ever know."

Her face crumples in an aching manner, but before you can register what that means, Wanda has crawled back to the source of your pleasure and takes your clit in between her lips. She starts sucking at it gently, while her hands work their way to your buttocks and then spread your ass cheeks. In this way, both of your holes are exposed to the air, sending a chill down your spine and threatening to make you come any time soon.

A finger experimentally prods at your other entrance, making you whimper as your slick continues to brim in your cunt hole.

"Wands, gonna cum," you moan as you hold onto the edge of the sofa for dear life. Wanda ignores your warning and continues rubbing at your crimp hole, while her tongue quickens its laps against your clit. It doesn't take a few more seconds before you're bursting, and Wanda plunges her tongue into your pussy at precisely the second you start to come so you don't clench around nothing.

Soon enough, the tremors subside and Wanda wipes her mouth before she gives you a searing kiss.

You're still catching your breath when Wanda lays her head on your chest so innocently, as if she hasn't just given you the best orgasm of your life. You wait a few more seconds for your heart rate to go back to normal, and once they do, it’s only then that you notice that Wanda's still in her pajamas, fully clothed.

That needs to be rectified. Immediately.

Without a word, you get up with Wanda still on top of you. You make her wrap her arms tighter around your shoulders as you bring yourself into a standing position while she clings to you like a koala. Wanda laughs at your attempt to hold her up steadily, simultaneously impressed that you actually can.

"I've been going to the gym whenever my lovely wife's stuck at professoring ." You snicker at your own terrible wordplay, as you plant your feet firmly on the floor.

You miss the shadow of guilt that passes over her fleetingly. "I can see that," she says, biting her lip as she feels your straining biceps. You grin up at her, before carrying her upstairs as steadily as you can while she distracts you with kittenish nibs at your earlobe.

Once in the bedroom, you lay Wanda gently on the bed, your movements slow and delicate as if one wrong move could ruin everything. You start to undo the buttons of her silky top, holding her gaze with a look of adoration typically reserved to deities. It's only fitting because Wanda Maximoff is your religion.

"Wait, can you–" she glances at the night table to your right, and you understand right away what she wants. You quickly retrieve the flesh-colored strap-on at the bottom most drawer. And as you start putting on the harness, Wanda leans forward to capture a dusky nipple, effectively sidetracking you from the task at hand.

"Baby, just a sec..." You chuckle at her apparent neediness. Between the two of you, it's Wanda that's been more in-touch and expressive with her carnal needs. More exciting. More daring. More adventurous. She's always been more in everything, and you sometimes wonder if she's weary of leading the wallflower to the dancefloor all these years.

"Hurry." Wanda whines, her teeth nipping hard enough to play the line between pain and pleasure.

As soon as the harness is secured around your hips, you push Wanda back onto the mattress. You hook one of her creamy thighs over your shoulder, holding it firmly while your other hand aligns the tip of the toy to her slit. Pressing a languid kiss to her knee, you start moving your hips to brush your cock along the length of her drenched sex. Wanda moans lowly and unabashedly, and you feel yourself getting wet again.

"Fuck, baby, inside..." Wanda mewls, her hands traveling downwards to massage her own clit. You grunt in protest and seize her hand, interlacing your fingers together to prevent her from touching herself. Increasing the rhythm of your hips but still not entering her, you give her a warning, “ I make you cum.” It’s not like you to engage in any sort of powerplay in the bedroom, and yet you couldn’t help but let out some of the resentment that has built over the last few weeks through the sex you’re having with her now.

Besides, Wanda seems to love it. You look down just in time to see her wetness trickle down to the sheets. You groan loudly from the visual and roughly position her to lie sideways. You keep the thigh over your shoulder secured, while you straddle the other one. Moisture begins to form at the back of your neck, muscles straining to hold this position. Wanda’s face reddens as you stare at her weeping cunt, before her eyes roll to the back of her head as you unceremoniously enter her in one, powerful thrust.

“Fuck!” Wanda cries through gritted teeth, her French-manicured nails digging painfully between your knuckles. Unlacing your bruised fingers from her, you then wrap them around her throat. You’ve never done anything like this in bed before, and you watch in twisted satisfaction as Wanda’s lust-filled eyes widen in shock and slight panic. The way you're grinding into her is viciously savage, callously chasing your own high. Wanda tips her head back as far as she could, her chin pointing to the heavens as she experiences an other-worldly kind of pleasure.  Your thighs grow slicker from your shared arousal, the stench from it filling your nostrils. Her hips try to match your tempo and an animalistic sound rips from your throat as your movements become more and more frantic.

"Shit, baby, I think I'm gonna–"

"No." You lightly squeeze around her neck.

"Please," Wanda sobs in frustration, staving off her impending release. You pay no heed to her request as you slow down your motion to keep her on the edge.

"Say it again." You demand.

"W-what?"

"Say you love me."

"L-love you..." The length of your spine curves as you bend forwards, pushing Wanda's thigh back in the process and opening her up even further.

Wanda whimpers at the new angle you're fucking her with wild abandon. "Jesus, Y/N. I can't-"

"One more time. Say it." You plead against her mouth, increasing the speed of your thrusts again, but this time you’re determined to finish her off.

With a sharp cry, Wanda clenches around your cock and comes, screaming those three fated words that are simultaneously your salvation and your undoing. You try to prolong her orgasm, alternately pausing and then jogging your hips, studiously watching her facial reactions and loving the subtle twitch of muscle in her jaw. A couple of tears run down her cheeks, and you lick them gently from her face. Letting go of her delicate neck, you run a free hand across her back, gathering beads of sweat along the way. Without pulling out of her, you drop her thigh on your shoulder with great care, before pressing your lower body down so that your pelvis is snug against hers. Wanda grabs your face with both hands and pulls you down for a searing kiss.

You release her lower lip with a wet pop and then like an eager puppy, starts peppering her face with featherlight kisses, making Wanda laugh and squirm in your arms. "You're cute," You tell her. "And so damn hot. How is that possible?"

Wanda blushes, overwhelmed by the ferocity in your words and in your eyes. She starts jogging her hips as your kisses become more insistent, but then an idea hits you. Embarrassingly, you've never done this with Wanda before, but this time feels as good as any to finally try it. Wanda shivers as you unsheathe your cock from her pussy, leaving a thread of wetness across her inner thighs. Afterwards, you remove the harness and place the drenched toy somewhere on the floor. Wanda pulls you back on top of her, a sleepy and satisfied grin on her face. She's prepared to call it a night when she feels your hand wandering back to the still feverish spot between her legs.

"What are you doing?" She asks coyly.

Instead of replying, you merely continue to trail south until your fingers find her slippery nub. Wanda gasps, back arching and eager for more. "Lie on your stomach and stick your ass up in the air for me." You whisper in her ear, and she obeys without a second thought. Abandoning her clit for a second, you crawl towards the foot of the bed, until your nose is a trifling inch from your wife's firm buttocks.

"Are you ready?" You husk, planting your chin at the base of her spine.

Wanda is almost convulsing in anticipation, and barely manages a nod. Heart beating wildly in your chest, you spread Wanda's cheeks with your thumb to reveal her puckered entrance. When Wanda finally understands what you’re about to do, her head whips over to look at you, but she doesn’t quite meet your eyes.

“Y/N?” Her voice is muffled by the pillow, small and unsure. You massage the back of her thighs to calm her down.

“I want to if you do.” You tell her sincerely. Wanda appreciates your touches staying in safe zones, making her feel safe and secured.

“It’s just… it’s been hours ago since I showered, it's dirty and I don't want to gross you out-”

“That’ll never happen,” You promise. “Whenever you were snotty from crying over your exes, all I could think about then was kissing you. I'd never not want you, Wanda.”

“Okay.” Wanda murmurs softly, shifting back closer to you. “I’m ready.”

“Good girl.”

You place a pillow beneath her stomach so she can comfortably prop herself up. Wanda’s breathing picks up when you part her cheeks again. This time, there’s no hesitation or wasted second as you lick a stripe from the entrance of her cunt to the rim of her backdoor.

“Да, да, детка!” Wanda yelps in her native language, impossibly turning you on even more. You could count on one hand the few occasions you’d been able to reduce her to a Sokovian mess, making her feel so good she forgets her English. Wanda's flavor there is different, more pungent and oh-so delectable.

"детка, I need-"

Wanda doesn't get to finish her sentence. Knowing exactly what she needs, you plunge your middle and ring fingers inside her wet heat. You feel her anus contract against your tongue, and you take it as a cue to enter her with it. Wanda thrashes violently on the bed and tries to move away from the intense pleasure that's bordering on pain. Eventually, you find the perfect cadence of plunging your tongue into her tight crevice every time you withdraw your finger from her pussy and vice-versa. Wanda, on the other hand, finds herself wantonly humping the pillow, practically grazing her tumescent nub.

All of it lasts a few more seconds before you feel Wanda's imminent little death. You stop moving your fingers to allow her to take over her own release, until finally, Wanda collapses on her stomach. You lick your fingers clean before wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. You pull the blankets up to cover both of your aching bodies, before settling beside your wife. Wanda automatically lays her head on your breast and throws an arm over your stomach. You kiss her sweaty forehead, and right before you are about to close your eyes, something wet hits your flushed skin.

"Wanda, hey," You search her face, your eyebrows creasing in worry. "Are you alright?"

She smiles through her tears, nodding. “I am now.”

Your own eyes glisten, a wave of relief passing over you. Right now, with the way Wanda's looking at you, it's like you're finally waking up from a long, terrible dream.

***

When Natasha finally calls, you’ve practically forgotten about hiring her to investigate Wanda.

You’ve had a perfect week with your wife. Things weren’t just back to normal, they were even better not only in the sexual aspect of things (though insatiable doesn’t even begin to describe Wanda nowadays), but you’ve been talking and doing things together more than ever.

“Hey, Y/N,” Natasha’s rough voice comes through.

“New phone, who’s this?” You try to joke.

“Hilarious, Y/N,” you hear her try to lighten up her tone, but for someone who used to work for the secret service, she’s terrible at hiding her emotions from you. “Listen, I’ve been meaning to call you since early this week. I just didn’t have the time…”

You’ve known Natasha longer than anyone in your life who’s not your parents. Wanda’s the love of your life, but Natasha’s your person. You understand each other beyond words and actions.

“Nat, what’s going on?” you ask.

“I saw them, Y/N. T-Two days after you asked me to… they went for a movie at a worn-down theater 3 miles from the university. I waited for them to leave and when they did–” Natasha hesitates to tell you how she’s seen them together. “I can’t tell if there’s–if she’s… I can just show you the photos.”

You don’t say anything for almost a minute, and Natasha waits for you quietly.

And then, “Is that all?”

Natasha draws in a long breath. “No.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose, feeling a headache coming. And then, like a man on trial waiting for their verdict, you nod to yourself and square your shoulders.

“Alright. Tell me everything.”

[soh1ghschool]

"I know I'll never get it, theres not a day that i wont try"

✧ sorry for the wait on a new fic, i have requests i just havent been up for it. this story is a recycle of an old one i have written for a different person who i dont support anymore. i just changed it up and made it as matt as possible. i hope you enjoy! xx

cw: reader having anxiety, dissociation, super fluffy matt trying to help, fidgeting

wc: 633

✧ last but not least, the title is a lyric from soon you'll get better by taylor swift! (whole song isnt very fitting but i thought the lyric was)

“Hey babe, you alright?” Matt said, looking at his girlfriend who was fidgeting with the remote. Seeing the person he loved often having these little quirks to calm their nerves wasn't bizarre. You do most things like twiddle your thumbs, turn up the TV to a specific volume, and the way you would count when it was just too much for you to handle. Although he picked up on these things, he never realized how to fix it.

You finally perk your head up. “Yes Matty, I’m alright.” You said to the man looking over at you with such worry. You knew he was worried, and you were sure he knew what was wrong.

“Okay, just making sure.” He said before turning to the TV, seeing the volume rise to the number you always chose when you were anxious. It was your favourite number, there wasn’t any way he could’ve missed it. “How about we head to bed, baby. Would that be alright with you?” He asked you so sweetly. He knew that if it was too late you’d start dissociating due to the tiredness slowly taking over your body.

“Sure.” Tiredness slightly showed in your voice when you spoke to him. No seconds were wasted before Matt wrapped his arms around you, carefully picking you up. Soon he made it to your shared bedroom and laid you down, not long after he joined you in bed. Each of you said your goodnights and I love yous before slowly drifting off to sleep.

Matt had gotten up fairly early, he had something to do with his brothers today. He kissed you on your forehead before leaving. He hoped you would text him when you woke up. He spent almost all day with his brothers, not once receiving a text from you. This worried him a bit, so he decided to go home as soon as he finished. He walked into the house and made his way to your bedroom. He saw you there on the bed, still sleeping so peacefully. He didn’t want to disrupt, but he knew he had to.

“Hey honey, you need to get up. It’s almost 2 pm.” He said, lightly shaking your sleeping figure. You hummed slightly, still quite tired. He never realized why you slept so late until he realized why you didn’t sleep at all.

It was a week before he had to go on tour. You dreaded this time because you knew he would be gone for at least a month, sometimes even more. This time made your anxiety worse, you would dissociate even more than before. This meant sleeping less than usual. Matt soon noticed how little you were sleeping and how all the fidgeting got a bit worse. He didn’t wanna leave anymore. He knew if he told you, you would think it was about you and it was your fault.

Even though he wanted to cancel his appearance at the tour, he knew he couldn’t. His fans would be upset, his brothers would be upset, and you would’ve been upset because it would be your fault he cancelled his appearance. He knew you saw how excited he was for this tour. He tried the whole week to try and break you of these habits. He failed to realize it would take more than just a few days.

He insisted you went with him to the airport to see him before he left. He would hope that it would just calm your nerves for a bit. After lots of goodbyes and I love yous, he boarded his plane. He was terrified for how you would be. He made sure to check on you every chance he got, even if that meant staying up at ungodly times of the night to talk to you, or telling some of his friends to go in and watch you.

[lillylvjy]

If I’m so special (why am I secret)

notes; hello hello! So the title has nothing to do with the actual fic I just really like the lyric! But you can correlate it if you want! This is long awaited, I have like two more fics for him in the works so! Enjoy!

warnings; hurt/comfort, angst, arguments, stupid old men, age gap, student x teacher relationship, forbidden love, sexual activities hinted at but in forms of rumors, Wilbur and reader being so down bad for each other it hurts, kissing, so much fluff at the end! If I missed anything please tell me!

edited;…. Yeah no!

wc; 1.8k

who; professor!Wilbur x gn!reader

He was ineffable.

A ball of sunshine that you could look at forever and not care if you went blind. A song that you could listen to over and over again and not go insane from it. A book you could read and find a way to connect everything to it.

He was… your every waking thought. And you knew what you were doing wasn’t right, you both knew. But you didn’t care, at least you didn’t. Wilbur was hesitant about it, you knew he wanted this but you also knew that he was going against everything he knew and you understood that but you weren’t going to let him sit there and let stupid rules decide what he gets to do with life.

The board had started to become suspicious of you two. How you would always stay later than wanted in his office. Sometimes come in at late times in the night to check up on him, yet to come out with him and get in his car. Coming in to the campus together. The longing stares and quick glances to each other whenever you were in the same room.

People became curious and other professors started watching. Closely. Too closely. And once they gathered enough information to use against you both, they told the school board. And the school board pulled you out of class just to bring you into a room with Wilbur and the head of the school board. After that annoyingly long interrogation of trying to get you and Wil to talk, maybe confess about something, Wil said:

“Sir, I would never do anything with my students. Yes I am friendly and kind to them, offering them other times they can come in, but nothing more. All of this, evidence, shows nothing more than me being a good professor. I am not sleeping with them, I do not involve myself with them at all besides them being my student. My job means more than anything else could.”

That’s what led you here. In his office at the school, far later than what after school hours pushed, fighting for the two of you.

If he wouldn’t, you would.

“Wil listen me, this isn’t fair! To me or to you. You can’t just give up on this that quickly.” You argued as you followed him around his office, wanting to get your point a crossed.

“Darling, you know we can’t. You are my student, and I am your teacher. You can’t have romantic relations, it’s just how it had to be-“

“Oh stop with that bullshit! It doesn’t have to be like that, if we just explain-“

“Explain? To who? The school board?! They aren’t gonna listen! They’ll look at us like we’re crazy, expel you from this school and fire me. I don’t care about me in this situation, I care about you. Don’t think I’m doing this for my own benefit.” Wil said, tone harsh and words that hurt a bit. You shook your head as you rubbed your hands up and down your face, rubbing the tears that perked in your eyes away.

“It’s worth a try! You can’t just let rules dictate and control what your life gets to be. They don’t control what you do and who you can be with! You aren’t doing anything bad-“

“In their eyes I am! They think I’m just fucking my student for my own pleasure and benefit! They don’t care about the whole story, they only care about the fact that I’m a teacher and you’re a student. Why are you trying to push this-“

“Because I love you!” You yelled out, turning back around to face him, letting the tears fall now. Your lip quivered as he looked at you with wide eyes at the sudden burst of emotion. “I love you and I actually have the fucking guts to fight for this! I don’t care what happens as long as I end up with you, that’s all that matters to me Wil. And if that’s not the case for you either then, tell me! Tell me everything you said in that meeting was true, and you meant every single bit of it. Just, tell me so I can stop looking like a fool and stop fighting for something only I want. Please….” Your voice slowly breaks as sobs start coming out and tears flow down your cheeks with ease, each one hot and leaving a stain on your face. You didn’t try to wipe them away, you let them fall, letting him see what he was doing to you. Not so he would change his mind and feel bad, no, because you knew he wanted this just as much as you, he was just fighting it. Every single bit of it.

Wilbur ran a hand over his face as he shook his head. He couldn’t deny it, both of you knew he couldn’t. He wanted you. He always has, ever since you stepped foot into his classroom. He remembers that day so clearly.

You were running late as you usually were, never being prepared enough to wake up at 8 in the morning just for his class. Your shoes were half tied and your overalls not done all the way over your yellow shirt. You rushed through the door right before he was going to close it, quietly apologizing for your late arrival as you rushed up the steps and found your seat in the back corner.

He didn’t say anything, he never did when you were late. But the first time, he couldn’t have said anything. You captivated him, in so many ways. Yes you may have looked ridiculous, but absolutely stunning nonetheless.

After that day, he looked at you different. Differently than a teacher should look at someone who’s just a student. You could say he fell first and you fell harder, but you both fell as hard as you could for each other, loving one another with every bone and being you had. So no, Wilbur wasn’t going to say he meant all that bullshit he said, he fucking hated himself for saying it anyways.

“No. I didn’t mean anything I said in that meeting. I want to fight for this, I want to fight for you so badly-“

“Then why don’t you, Wil?”

“Because I care about you! I care about you getting your degree, you becoming the person you deserve to be, and that can’t be with me. I’ve accepted that. I don’t care about me, I don’t care if I get fired and I have no where else to go. I just care what you get what you deserve, and what you deserve is to graduate and grow up into a wonderful adult and marry someone worth being with-“

“No Wil, please. I just want you, I don’t care about me either. I just want you. I’m only in college for my parents, I didn’t even want to go to college! You know this. I want to marry you and be with you and grow old with you! I don’t care what happens because stupid, cranky old men don’t like the thought of a teacher and a student being together. You haven’t done anything to me I haven’t agreed with, and I started this first, we both know I did. And I will push that as fair as I can so I get expelled and you can stay. I just want to be with you.” You said as Wil slowly came up to you, tears slowly flowing down your face still. Placing his hand on the back of your head gently, Wilbur pulled you into his chest with your head resting just below his chin, and wrapped his arms around your neck. Your own wrapped around his waist and your grip on him was tight enough to Jill someone if wanted, yet Wil showed no sign of discomfort.

He kissed your head as he rested his head on your own. “I want you. I need you darling. I’m just scared, I’ve never felt like this for someone before, let alone someone that’s my student. I don’t care about what happens either, I’m just.. I’m tired of fighting for things I want. And I’m anxious what will happen after things get out and I do get fired I guess. You may have started this but I indulged in it, so we both have the blame. You don’t have to push anything, if you can’t stay then I can’t. I love you more than anything and if they can’t handle that then screw them.” Wilbur lifted his head from yours as you looked up at him with a soft smile, tears slowly stopping leaving your eyes red and puffy.

“You think too much sometimes.” Was the first thing that came out of your mouth, throat hoarse and in need of a clearing as you spoke.

Wil laughed and nodded at the statement, not arguing about that statement at all. Slowly bringing his face down to yours, he softly kissed the outer corners of your eyes, somehow easing the puffiness and soreness from your previous appearance. Pulling back, he takes your chin in his hand and pulls your face up to his a bit more, placing a soft kiss onto your chapped lips with a soft smile.

Pulling back, he giggled lightly a your wide grin and practical heart shaped eyes as you looked at him, his eyes reciprocating them. “Let’s get out of here yeah? We’ll talk about what to do later, for now we can just go to mine and order take out while we watch shitty indie movies, like always.”

“Can we actually watch Disney movies tonight? I have a few in mind…” you asked as you let go of the tall man in front of you. He walked over to his desk, grabbing his bag and coat, slinging them over his arm and back as he went back over to you and grabbed your hand in his. Exiting his office, he shut the lights off and locked the door as he dragged you to his car, knowing you didn’t have your own.

“Anything you want darling, whatever makes you happy I’m absolutely fine with.” He said with a smile as you finally stepped out of that suffocating school and into the open air of the parking lot.

“Hmm that and I’m changing into your clothes once we’re there, need to feel engulfed by you.”

“I’m right here!”

“Yeah but, it’s like extra happiness! More of you!”

“You just like stealing my clothes.”

“Hmm yeah pretty much…” Wilbur scoffed as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you against him, finally not caring if anyone saw you two. He knew in the end it’d be ok, because he has you.

taglist; @mysticalsoot @phxntomsdusk @ivvees-blog (if anyone wants to be added feel free to send an ask or dm!)

[he-goes-down]

There Was A Time:

fic chapters,warnings, ext

SORRY IF THIS IS SO CONFUSING I APOLOGIZE

1. Move To The City:

Warnings:

Implied sexual acts

Drinking

Time travel (confusing)

Second person POV:

All the things that you just experienced had been forgotten in an instant. It felt like nothing had happened.

But everything happened.

You cursed under your breath, you're about to miss the band playing and you haven't even said good luck or more importantly get the roadies and other technical teams managed. 'Shit. what if they're not even ready?' You thought to yourself in a panic. You started rummaging through your satchel to find your phone for any missed calls and to check how late it is. Everything else was in your bag; notebook, passport, ID and documents. But no phone and a wallet with only one card and loads of cash. Instead of a phone there was a Walkman and your handwriting on it spelling out: 'Best Tunes'. "What the fuck" You whispered under your breath. Who still uses a Walkman? And why do I have one? Why the cringy ass title? You thought. Anything and everything was going through your head. You searched the windows of the shops on the street just for a glimpse of a clock or anything, but all of them were closed. One of the shops windows glowed, an electronic shop, every kind of tv was there and playing the same thing. Box TV's. No smart TV's. 1 or 2 flat screens. The news is on but it's grainy and the presenters aren't the same. The time.

'8:45' it read on the top left of one of the screens.

28th February 1985.

Headache. High pitch ring.

You nearly fell back onto the pavement.

Your head kept pounding.

Your face scrunched as you pierced your eyes shut.

Scenes of past memories came flooding back and replacing the ones you had, but they were both still in your mind, just supressed.

'Fuck, what was I doing?'

You searched your bag again, this time taking out a little notebook. You always had things to do written down in case you forgot something important. 'Find new band' it wrote and under it was suggestions on which bars to search. Luckily you could hear the thumbing bass of a band playing down the street in one of the bars. The Whisky a Go Go. As you walked closer you heard the song getting clearer and the higher frequencies the guitar was producing. The drums were hard driving, it nearly made you shake ass in the middle of the street. The guitar wind and you noticed there was another that kept the rhythm. The bass made something in you tingle. You finally got to the entrance of the bar, it was packed in the front of the stage and the booths but there were about only two people sitting on the bar stools, it was dark, the bright lights shone on the stage and only a dark dim light was provided at the bar for bartenders to be able to make drinks. You sat down by one of the stools closest to the exit, sitting your small suitcase in front of your stool under the bar top. The band was loud, and the crowd was going wild, the mics and speakers weren't good quality, but you could feel the raw energy from when their instruments were struck and when the lyrics spat out their mouths.

All the members had long hair; it was the 80's anyway. The singer was like a live wire, ginger hair and mouth that could burn anyone by how he screamed and made it sound like ecstasy in hell. The two guitarists, one with curly hair that bounced when he bopped his head as he strummed, sweat dripped down his chiselled brown abdomen as he arched his back to shred. All that was heard were screams from girls in the front, I mean you couldn't blame them, something in you wanted to throw yourself at him and let do anything. The other one had black hair and was the most modest looking; the rest had no shirts on or the very least a sleeve-less mesh shirt on. He wore a white long sleeve and a black waist coat, and he was gorgeous in sickly, pale, ill, vampire way. The last two members were blondes. The bass player tall and handsome as he plucked the strings of his bass, you had to stop yourself from meowing out loud, because good god. Although you couldn't see the drummer all that well, he was super cute as his fluffy blonde hair bounced around and his smile brightened the room. 

You tapped your feet to the beat of the song. It sounded familiar. You order a long island iced tea before you continued to watch them play. 'Why does it sound so familiar' You thought to yourself as the ginger front man sang "But you, you had to move to the city!" He sang, and you took a sip of your drink that the bartender just sat down on the bar top. It was cold and a small piece of ice touched one of your teeth. "Into the city where it all began!" It began to ache, and it travelled to your head.

That's fucking Guns 'n Roses. Time stood still for a moment, and you couldn't move from the shock that just went through your body.

"What the fuck." You mumbled to yourself, your mouth slightly a gape. 'This can't be happening' you thought. 'I'm in the 80's?' 'Guns 'N Roses is right in front of me.' It was like every dream was coming true in that moment. You starred at them not believing they were right there, and you were the only one in the crowd that knew the lyrics off by heart. The black-haired guitarist looked straight back at you and his eyes widen. He strutted closer to the bass play and nudged him, the blonde looked up, the guitarist nodded to where you were and his plucking faltered slightly, and then they went back to playing but with more focus than before. You were confused then remembered why you were there in the bar. You had a job to do, they probably knew you were coming to scout for bands to sign. You tried to focus and forget about all the weird things, there is nothing you can do. There are no time machines in the 80s, rather make the best out of this situation. Work now, panic later. They finished their song and walked off, the guitarist and bassist made it painfully obvious that they were searching for you in the crowd before walking off. You stood up to walk to back, but you asked to bartender to look after your bag in case it got stolen. You searched where the entrance to the back was, you saw where all the girls were going and followed.

It was a large dressing room, with a mirror that spanned across two of the walls. Graffiti scattered on the dirty yellow walls. Groupies already surrounded the band, and giving them all special kinds of favours, on chairs, couches and walls. You tried to keep your confidence to not look completely lost, but you really wanted to shrink down into a hole and die. To your rescue the shorter blonde haired one that had two girls on him as he was pressed against wall, noticed you. "Shit!" he breathed loudly and tried to push the girls off him. The rest of the band did the same and shooed them out the dressing room door, some members didn't even have women on them but had to put away their bottles upon bottles of alcohol. 'How do they drink that much, they just got off the stage.' You thought. You crossed your arms as you leaned against the wall, the five of them stood in a line across the room. 'Did they rehearse this?'. It was silent. One of them started to swing his arms slightly, like a 5-year-old that was bored. "Is this like the final boss groupie or...?" The curly haired on said but got elbowed in the stomach before her could continue. You couldn't help but giggle a bit. "You guys have a lot of potential." You knew they were going to one of the best bands in history, but you weren't going to spoil the surprise. "I'm here to sign a deal with you. Well, if that's what you want-." "YES" The short blonde interrupted, he then cleared his throat, "Please."

You sat with them at one of the booths for about 2 hours, having light drinks and discussing management, recordings and contracts. It was like there was two versions of you, the past and future, the past version was currently in charge as you were talking business and the other lied dormant. "You've been telling us all these things about your job, but you haven't told us your name beautiful." The ginger flirted. You already knew all their names and government names before they even told you, but that doesn't really matter. "Y/n." you told them. "Are you going to be the one managing us?" The black haired one said coldly, Izzy, with his one arm folded and the other holding his cigarette. He sat on the opposite side of the booth. "If all goes well, yes." You said, but you could feel he might have wanted a different answer. "All goes well as in, if Axl doesn't fuck shit up before the time." The taller blonde laughed, Duff, as he nudged the ginger, Axl, who sat next to you. He elbowed him back in the ribs harshly, whispering curses at him. "You're gonna see this and a lot worse." Slash, the curly haired one, said in a chuckle. He gently put his hand on your shoulder as he got up, "I'm gonna get another drink, want one?" He looked down at you, giving a small smile while raising an eyebrow. Though you couldn't see it as his hair covered his eyes. "Nah, I think I need to head off." You said, as you got up as well. "Um, I need a number to call you guys with." "Are you asking for my number?" Axl yelled as he slammed his hands down on the table as he got up. "What are you yappin’ about?" You laughed

Izzy wrote down the house number on a piece of paper as Duff and Steven excitedly asked about tours, interviews and photoshoots. You tucked the paper into your pocket, got your bag from the bar, said your goodbyes and left. It was a cold night; the streets were empty and silent, and there was an even chillier breeze. You just wanted to go to a hotel and roll in the bed, as you just met your favourite band. 'Shit the hotel'. You booked a hotel to stay at for your band's venue back in future. "Shit" you muttered, as you searched your bag for a sign that you at least have a place to stay for the night. Nothing.

"Fuck". You slumped down and next to a wall of a building. Every emotion rushed through you; panic, confusion, hatred, depression. Your other half wasn't speaking to you, it was like there was a limit on how much you could each version of yourself. You started to tear up as you started to overthink; Does this past version of you have friends? A partner? A place of your own? You couldn't remember anything except for the night you just had. You laid your head on your knees and closed your eyes just trying to compose yourself. Streams of tears just rolled, and you couldn't do anything, your brain was all muddled up and mush. You felt yourself spiralling, it was out of your control now. It was cold and it started to rain, just what you needed. You wanted to call up one of the guys and ask for some salvation, but you didn't even know where the nearest pay phone is. All the roads were just twists and turns in a maze that kept changing.

"Y/N?"

———

If you hated this you can like, push me down stairs or sumthing

[the-marron]

For the made up fic title: Smoke and Mirrors (a fantastic song from Gotye)

Well, I checked the lyrics, my dear, and I will not surprise you any: LUOLIN.

You're a fraud, and you know it

But it's too good to throw it all away

Anyone would do the same

You've got 'em going

And you're careful not to show it

Sometimes you even fool yourself a bit

It's like magic

But it's always been a smoke and mirrors game

Anyone would do the same.

I think it would suit a contemplative piece - LF's POV, observing Station Chief Lin Nansheng at work, at one gala or another, remembering LNS as he was back at the beginning, and what he is now - LF sees that it's all a front, he sees that LNS's smirks and cruel orders are only there to keep Wang Shi'an unaware of his true role, to keep him off the scent, but even though LF understands, he doesn't like what he sees. He doesn't like the fact that LNS chooses to put on this performance for a game LF doesn't deem wise. So he mourns the old LNS and searches for the traces of him in the performance he sees, while also accepting the fact that there is no place for him there. LNS operates with smoke and mirrors, LF shines light on such displays - they can not be together again, in any capacity.

[silawastaken]

I'm SO sorry and I feel like such a loser for it sometimes but I really do just want to talk about the technical stuff behind the things I write sometimes. Both fanfic wise, poetry wise, and more recently music wise, but I always want to talk about the attention to detail, the foreshadowing, the way things change in the process of writing, the original concept vs the final product.

I really really hate it but my brain really is wired for literature, and there's nothing that can have me talking for as long as asking about the detail behind my fics. The only one you can really ask about without it becoming a nit-pick of all the flaws (which is never attention or compliment seeking, I genuinely don't like most of what I write or make) or talk about foreshadowing aspects without major spoilers is the (not so) perfect pair as it's complete and well thought out (in my opinion).

The music I'm working on currently, when the lyrics are written out they read as a love letter, which is intentional!!! but also you could ask about the specific ties that each lyric has– for example in 'Prophecies of the Morning Sun' the lyric "a single witness as heaven comes down" the implication is that (as the song is written as if from my perspective) my lover is heaven, and I (or, whoever was listening to the song) was the only witness to their arrival, or the only person to see them as they are.

And then, in the final verse "facing you to see heaven in your eyes" is supposed to tie back to the idea that in my (or, again, whoever was listening's) eyes, my lover is heaven to me. IT'S ALL INTENTIONAL (or maybe not, but it all connects in the end regardless).

Anyway I'm sorry, slight word dump over, I just really wish I had more opportunities to properly talk over what I do. I would love to write a long ass essay dissecting the (not so) perfect pair bit by bit but also. There is no audience for that lmao.

As the gold bleeds into grey is where I'm going insane over this specifically, as there is always some detail which I am trying to point out without having to explicitly state it, but I feel the need to make sure people know what I'm doing. Especially with the most recent chapter (chapter ten – spoilers) where Chuuya is leading Dazai through Yokohama while it's busy, and he doesn't want to show his concern that Dazai was still following by looking back to check on him, but he does so anyway because he loves him.

This is a reference to Orpheus and Eurydice, which is why the chapter is titled 'Orpheus and denial', because in this Chuuya is supposed to represent Orpheus, but he also refuses to admit he still loves Dazai (whether to himself or to Dazai is up for interpretation– he's complex enough that even I don't know) and it was driving me insane that I couldn't explicitly state 'Hey! This is a reference!' because that's not what I want to do!!!! Ugh. Sorry. Soooo not worth this but I am constantly thinking about it lmao.

I'm always adding little details like that, I'm always referencing canon and making decisions about certain numbers to use for things (such as their room being number 15 on floor 3. They met at 15 in canon, and knew each other for three years before the split at eighteen. There's also another reason for it involving 15 and 3 years which would be Spoiling It but there's another reason behind that choice too).

If you ask me, I can tell you what characters who are never even mentioned in the main story of tnspp were doing at different points in the story. My au's are SOOOO carefully thought out most of the time.

Anyway. Yap actually over this time. Sorry I should really talk less lmao

[tsukiyouyuis]

Snow Light

Hi everyone:) I finally decided to post the one and only writing I did for Genshin! This was an old work I did back in January 2022 to commemorate one of my most valuable game experiences. (I started Genshin in December 2021)

Character: Diluc Ragnvindr

Pov: You = The traveler/Player self-inserted

Synopsis: You have always wanted to explore Dragonspine ever since you first arrived in Mondstadt, but the cold was too much for you to handle, unless you can go with someone who is warm enough…

Premise: Both you and Diluc are secretly having a crush on each other.

Timeline: Liyue archon quest. Post-Mondstadt archon quest + Diluc’s story quest.

Tags: SFW, fluff, confession, adventure, Diluc is sweet and caring

Please note:

This is a translated work. Please note that English is not my first language and I’ve never written a fic in English before. I tried my best for the translation and please bear with me if you find any mistakes.

No gender specific pronouns were used. However, “you” was implied to be a female at some point since it was written on my POV based on my true game experience.

The title of this work came from the song “Snow Light” by Kensho Ono (Diluc’s JP VA). For me, those lyrics are Diluc's words of confession. I put the translations at the end and you are very welcome to check out how I think Diluc confesses his love specifically in this context :)

I hope you enjoy reading this long story ^_^

After destroying another hilichurl’s camp, you suddenly feel tired of everything.

You silently put those materials into your bag and walk to the highest spot of the mountain. The sun at noon is quite dazzling and it is hurting your eyes a bit, but it does not prevent you from having a great view of the entire Liyue Harbor. No matter what happens, those bustling streets and crowds will always be there.

It has been a while since you left the city of freedom and came to this land of geo. You are having a lot of fun admiring the beautiful yet different scenery and cultural heritage. Meanwhile, you have also met a lot of weird people, which…did not really surprise you right after leaving Mondstadt. The most typical example would be the man who is accompanying you in your journey -- Zhongli, the consultant of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, who is extremely knowledgeable on almost everything, yet being totally clueless about money. Thanks to him, you always have to keep an eye on your mora to ensure that you and Paimon can still pay for your meals…

But this did not prevent you from growing interests for Liyue. In order to get to know this nation better, you have decided to do your daily commissions only here.  

You haven’t been active in Mondstadt for quite a while.  

Even so, you can easily to go back thanks to the teleport waypoints. Mondstadt is like a home for you. You know you can never actually leave there, especially after you have already crossed paths with too many people.

But there is only one main reason for you to keep going back and forth in two nations.

Every day, you would teleport back to Dawn Winery after finishing your activities. You would stroll around the statue of the seven, pick up a few windwheel asters, and look at the windmills of the city in distance. You would then go sit on the bench, enjoy the scent of grapes and wine. At the end, you would go inside the manor, and wait for the next day to begin.

The winery is open to the public all year round, but the maids and Elzer have basically acquiesced in you being there. Adelinde remembered all the books you like to read, and she would even prepare them for you beforehand. Almost every day, you would leave in the morning and come back in the evening, which made you feel like you are treating this place as a home more than the owner does.

However, you haven't seen Diluc since you worked together to resolve the stormterror issue. He seems rarely comes home. Sometimes he did come back, but you either happened to be away or have already fallen asleep in one of the guest rooms. You heard that he would occasionally work at the Angel’s Share as a bartender, so whenever you completed your commissions quickly enough, allowing you to come back earlier, you would always drop by. But only archons would know why you were unlucky enough to miss the redhead every single time. Instead, you did encounter that cavalry captain quite often. It always turned out that you were teased by him and had to ran away from the tavern with flushed cheeks.

Well known by everyone in Mondstadt, Diluc Ragnvindr is a handsome and wealthy gentleman, the highly respected young master of Dawn Winery. However, only a few know that he is also the “Darknight Hero” who protects the city every night. No matter using which identity, he will not be distracted by anything and always gets everything done perfectly. As far as you can remember, Diluc's expression has never changed dramatically, and coupled with his calm demeanor, it is not surprising if people say that he is grumpy or lacking emotion.

But that is not the case, you know it. When Paimon called him "Captain Pyro", he let out a disapproval grunt, but then acquiesced in this more nonsensical name after the tasteless title of "Darknight Hero". You spent quite a lot of time working with him during the stormterror attacks. Every night when you left the winery and said good night to him, he would look straight into your eyes and say "Alright, see you next time, I’ll make sure you get home safely." His soothing voice, his gentle tones, the tint of smile in his eyes…How can you ever forget those moments?

Yes, unknowingly, like many girls in Mondstadt, you have secretly fell in love with this prince of the dark night. Every day, you would spend quite a long time in Dawn Winery, scanning through the rows of books on the bookshelf with your fingertips, and then randomly pick one, sit down and read it carefully. Diluc is in charge of basically the entire alcohol industry in Mondstadt and probably half of Teyvat, the contents of his book collections are naturally about alcohol. You have heard from Conner saying that “Master Diluc has never read books in the winery, not even once…” But even so, your day-to-day habits have not changed, despite you don’t really understand the content by heart.

After all, this is the only way you can get close to Diluc without being able to meet him.

The dazzling sunshine pulls you out of your memories. You blink, and your eyes drift involuntarily to another direction – the direction of Dragonspine, which is the only place you haven’t explored in Mondstadt. Of course, it's not that you haven't tried, but the sheer cold was really beyond your ability to bear. Probably you will try again after you become stronger, or being able to master the pyro element, just like Diluc…

You can’t help but think of him again. Being a wielder of a pyro vision, he surely won’t be bothered by such coldness. He himself is as warm and bright as the morning sun, otherwise how can he dispel the shadow covering Mondstadt?

You sigh and open the map, trying to figure out how to kill the rest of the afternoon and hopefully, this will pull you out from all those fantasies about the redhead…

But a second later, you hear something behind you. Fear builds up in your chest instantly and you almost fall down. Thanks to the person who made the sound grabbed your arm, you did not fall off the cliff.

"I see…It seems like you are more easily to get nervous after gaining more experience."

That familiar voice makes you turn your head swiftly, and you see the face you have been thinking about all day and night. You can see the reflection of your flustered self in those ruby-like eyes.

"Oh! D-Diluc—uh, sir," you dodge his gaze, feeling the scorching heat spread from the back of your ears, "Ah...why you happen to be here?"

Diluc frowns slightly after hearing the honorific you deliberately added, but his tone is as calm as usual, "It doesn't matter where I am, right? This is nothing to be surprised about."

"But…we are in Liyue?" And on the top of a mountain with nothing but monsters and trees.

Anyone would find it strange that Master Diluc, who is dedicated to protecting Mondstadt day and night, appears in a place other than Mondstadt for no obvious reasons.

"..." Diluc freezes for a short moment, he then lets go of your arm, "This is not something you should worry about." Under your curious yet confused gaze, he slowly looks away and clears his throat, "…Please don't look at me like that."

"Ah, yes, I'm sorry!" You apologize in a panic, quickly adjusting your facial expression. But you accidentally see the blush of his ears. Before you had time to think about it, Diluc speaks again.

"There's no need to apologize.” He said, the slight embarrassment that was previously on his face is gone as if you were hallucinating, “How are you doing recently?"

"Eh? Um, well…" you are a little caught off guard, but still answer him with a smile, "I'm doing good, and I haven't been too busy with commissions recently. Thank you, Master Diluc, for your concern."

Diluc does not respond immediately, but his eyes soften, which is captured by you. A faint happiness fills your heart. You know that he is not simply being polite, but is genuinely caring about you.

"It's been a while since you and I have seen each other." After a short pause, he continued, "I heard from Adelinde that you would visit the winery every day. Did you encounter any difficulties?"

"Well...um...not really." You keep your gaze down, attempting to hide your embarrassment by fiddling with your own fingers. What are you supposed to tell him? Of course you can't just say that you want to stay at the house of your crush for… a little longer.

Diluc sighs, "It's alright if you don't want to tell me, but if you encounter any problems or have any needs, you can always come to me."

Ah, yes…He had said the same to you after the darknight hero incident. You did encounter a lot of problems when you first started your adventure, but you didn’t want to bother Diluc for such personal matters. After all, he is known as a busy person. So in the end you would always find a way to solve everything by yourself, even if you ended up getting yourself into more troubles, failing everything, or getting injured. After all, you dare not rely on others easily after parting from your sibling.

But these are actually excuses, you know that. After realizing that you had fell for Diluc, you didn’t know how to deal with your feeling, because you know it will never work out. You are an outlander, a traveler. After you find your sibling and reach the end of the journey, you will leave Teyvat, and you will leave him, probably forever.

You had tried to avoid him, thinking that in this way, your feelings would fade away as the time goes by.

But unfortunately, the effects were completely opposite. Your feelings towards him grew day by day until you couldn’t suppress them in any possible way. You couldn’t help but wanting to meet him. You want to stay with him, to talk with him, to travel with him, to rely on him…

You feel your face starts to burn as you are thinking about it, and you are so flustered that you don't know where to look. Diluc is standing right in front of you, and as you keep avoiding making eye contacts with him, your attention is caught by the vision attached to his belt. The pyro element glimmers in the glass bead, and that beautiful crimson color resembles the wielder’s eyes and hairs.

"Traveler?"

Diluc's puzzled voice is heard overhead, and you finally decide to look up and meet his eyes. At that moment, you suddenly accept the fact that no matter how hard you try to supress your feelings, it is useless, so there is no point to torture yourself like this. You already knew that it will never work out, so now you might as well follow your own inner thoughts.

"A-Actually, I have a matter that you could probably help me, Master Diluc." You try to calm yourself down, but you seem have lost your voice, "If it's possible..."

Diluc didn’t respond, and his expression stays the same, but obviously he is waiting for your next words.

"Could you…um, accompany me to Dragonspine...?"

You can’t help but to start panicking right after saying it. What if he rejects you? Once again, you find it is too hard to look him into the eyes, but it will be strange to lower your head suddenly. So you lock your eyes on the red gem on his bow tie and meanwhile, clasping your hands tightly behind your back, feeling that your palms are starting to sweat.

"Yes," Diluc agrees immediately, without even a hesitation. You look at him again in surprise, but you can see that he is confused. "But what are you going to do in Dragonspine? If you need any materials, I can find them for you directly."

"Ah, it has nothing to do with materials! It's just because I haven't really been there yet." Your respond excitedly, temporarily forgetting the shyness and embarrassment when facing Diluc. "I can’t master the pyro element at the moment, and it's just too cold there..."

Diluc looks into your shining eyes, the corners of his mouth are slightly raised, "I see, you are right. After all, you are an adventurer, and the joy of adventure always comes first."

His smile makes you lose your mind once again. Those feelings that have just been left behind came back to you in the blink of an eye.

A gentle gust of wind blows, Diluc looks at the blue sky, and you look at him. His crimson hairs is so beautiful under the sunshine, just as dazzling as the dawn.

“Let’s go.”

​

Dragonspine is still as beautiful as in your memory. The white snow covers every inch of the land, yet that’s not the only colour. The most conspicuous one is undoubtedly the red beam of the statue of the seven, which will be your destination today.

You follow Diluc silently. The sound of your boots stepping on the snow seems to be amplified many times. Even though you two had left the teleport waypoint for not even a minute, you already start to feel the sheer cold is devouring you.

"Here, take this," Diluc, who had been silent all this time, suddenly speaks. You are startled, while he hands over a red ore, "This is called the scarlet quartz, which can keep you warm temporarily."

The moment you take the scarlet quartz, it disappears as if melted by your body temperature.  You suddenly feel a nice and warm aura surrounding you.

"Wow, this is amazing!" You look at your hands in surprise, "Thank you, Master Diluc!"

"No need. The effect of the quartz can only last for a while. So if you are still cold, just let me know any time." He responds, followed by a hesitant expression.

"... Diluc,” he speaks after a brief pause, “just...call me Diluc is fine."

His words make you stop everything you were doing and thinking but only to look at him. At your first glance, Diluc's face is still as unamazed as usual, but obviously he is trying you avoid your eyes. And probably your vision is not too well due to the snow, but you are pretty sure that you see a suspicious faint blush on his cheeks. Could it be because he was just too cold as well……?

"B-But..." You stammer, feeling the heat gradually creeping up your entire face. But before you can say anything else, a group of hilichuirls, those who have ice shields in their hands, appears out of nowhere.

Immediately, Diluc gushes forward. Crimson flames burst out along with his movements. Even you, who is a distance away from the battle, can feel that extreme heat mediating from him. The moment when you come back to your senses and get ready to help, the battle is over, leaving only the melted snow and fallen materials.

You stand there awkwardly. Of course, the main reason that you invited Diluc, who masters the pyro element, to accompany you to Dragonspine was because you wanted to rely on him a little. Something like this shouldn’t be surprising, but when it actually happens, you still feel really bad about your incapability.

Diluc puts away his claymore and turns to you. And as if he had seen through your mind, his expression softens, "It’s nothing."

Seeing that you are still standing in a daze, he hesitates for a moment, and then comes closer to you. He lightly pokes your forehead with his gloved fingertips, "Come on, just take the materials, and we'll move on, okay?"

"……Thank you." You whisper your gratitude, blushing, and trying your best to let your heart calm down from his touch and his words. Diluc's voice is still as gentle and soothing as ever, making you feel like you are floating on top of the cloud. His flames seem to have lingered onto the skin touched by him, It’s not a burning heat, but a warmth that flows into your heart.

Fortunately, there are not too many enemies popping out as you two are getting closer and closer to the statue. Or maybe, all kinds of hilichuirls are buried under Diluc's flames when you are too busy enjoying the scenery or collecting materials.

You have never stayed this close to him for such a long time. His flying red hairs, flames brought out by his claymore, all perfectly complement with the whiteness of the snow. You always stare at him subconsciously and have to spend at least few seconds to bring your mind back.

He is just like a tint of fire that keeps you warm in the snow, makes you feel incredibly safe, makes you can’t feel the cold seeping into your body.

And it isn't until you hadn't been close to any fire or the minerals of the scarlet quartz for quite a while that you realized that you were already freezing.

Unfortunately, this is a bad timing. Diluc is not by your side now. He asked you to wait for him a bit and then left. You look at the surroundings, the beautiful snow you were seeing before is now somehow shrouded in a layer of dark mist.

An inexplicable fear surges into your heart like a tide. The wind is freezing cold, whistling in your ears. You tightly wrap all of your clothes around your body, but still can’t stop the biting chill from pouring into your collar. It is not that you have never felt cold before, but you still get scared after seeing your breath condensed into visible white particles floating around you.

Your vision has started to blur, and your legs seem to have lost all the strength…You are about to fall down—

The wet and cold feeling of the snow does not come as you expected. Instead, you feel soft fabrics, surrounded by a faint aroma of grapes and firewood. It is so familiar and reassuring, it is your favorite smell...

"Careful!"

You are still cold, but the fear in your heart fades away instantly, just like ice being melted by fire. And as you gradually catch your breath, you slowly open your eyes, and find yourself leaning on Diluc's chest, with him gently encircling your waist.

Oh archons, this is way too close, and he is holding you in his arms. Normally, you surely would immediately jump away, flustering like a mass and wanting to die. But now you can’t even stand properly, and your brain is just not functioning. Diluc's clothes are as cold as the surrounding environment, but strangely, his embrace is so warm, warm enough to make you, a person who is cold and longing for warmth instinctively, want to stay like this forever.

But after you recover a little bit and feeling able to stand still, the unbelievable idea of "being held by Diluc in his arms" brings you back to reality again. Diluc obviously notices the change in you. He lets go of his hand, but then immediately takes off his coat and wraps it around you, almost covering your whole body.

"I’m sorry," he looks at you, obviously worried, "I shouldn't have left you alone."

"I was just looking for a place where we can rest. I should’ve taken you with me."

You shake your head, "No…no, please don’t apologize, Master Diluc. I know you will come back." But to be honest, you almost let your fear won after realizing that you couldn’t feel any other human being but yourself in this cold, empty, and completely silent place.

"..." Diluc does not answer directly but looks at you deeply. Something is in his eyes, but you can’t really tell what it is. He then holds your hand, "...Come with me."

He takes you to a spot with cooking ware and fire, which seems to be lightened just now. The whole area is surrounded by tall rocks that block most of the wind. Almost immediately, you start to feel your hand and face again as the warmth seeping into your frozen bones. Diluc makes sure you sit down near the fire, then he started to set up the cooking pot.

You stand up again as a reflex. You’ve already done this on your own so many times, even when you were injured badly enough that you could barely move. And besides, no matter what is happening, it is still hard to let the master of Dawn Winery to cook for you.

"Sit down and rest."

His slightly commanding tone makes you unable to disobey. You can only sit down again, obediently.

While fixing your gaze on Diluc, you let yourself completely immersed into his coat. The smell of firewood mixed with the faint aroma of grapes and wine is now surrounding you once again. You take a deep breath, recalling this smell from Dawn Winery, from the vineyard, from the books he read, pages he touched… At that moment, you feel like you are at home.

You observe Diluc once again. This is the first time you see clearly what are under his coat. A black shirt with a white vest, the belt that goes from his shoulder and connected to his waist… He has such a nice shape…If you look further downwards-

You are startled by what you are doing and immediately turn your head aside, squeezing your eyes shut.

Now you are really warmed up……

After having some warm soup, you feel much better. The snow seems to be lighter than before as you two set out on the road again. You can see that red beam of light is getting closer and closer to you.

Snow falls on Diluc's hairs and shoulders. His shirt is slightly disheveled by the wind. You suddenly remember his coat is still on you.

"Master Diluc, " You speak hesitantly, about to take it off, "Um… you must be cold, I'll give this back to-"

"You can wear it." He replies, "The pyro vision can minimize the impact of the coldness on my body." He puts the coat back on you, carefully feeling your body temperature, "You need to keep warm more than I do. If you fall down again, I will be very troubled."

Thus you get the following: A redhead wearing only a shirt and vest, walking in the heavy snow, followed by a small figure wrapped in a big black coat, which does not seem too inappropriate considered you are in Dragonspine, one of the most mysterious regions in Teyvat.

Fortunately, you two successfully end up arriving in front of the statue of the seven, and the last obstacle is a layer of ancient rime piled up at the bottom. You are just about to clear it with your normal attack as usual, but before you can do it, Diluc stops you, "Wait."

"You need to have the scarlet quartz to clear them." He explains, "The subzero climate here in Dragonspine makes normal attacks useless, even with pyro elemental infusion."

"I see…" You look around, trying to find the redness in the surrounding, "There it is!"

A minute later, you come back with the effect of scarlet quartz. The rime was successfully cleared away by your charged attack. The red glowing statue makes the surroundings extremely warm. You look up at the anemo archon, memories flooding back into your mind. Venti, Dvalin, the Holy Lyre, Stormterror’s Lair, Jean, and Diluc, who is standing right behind you at this moment…

You close your eyes and stretch out your hand, the last statue of the seven in the Mondstadt area will be lightened up soon—

...

Nothing happened?

You open your eyes, confused. Normally the statue should have been lit by your touch, yet it is still glowing red at this time. You also can't feel the anemo element at all...

"As what I expected…" Diluc sighs, and you turn to face him, "It’s probably because I am here. I think that our humble anemo archon can't tolerate other people disturbing you."

"What? No, it shouldn’t, it can’t be…" You stand there helplessly, with your hand still on the statue. After months, you are finally here, and the journey to here with the accompany of Diluc is an absolute treasure to you. And now everything will go wasted?

You feel like your tears are about to fall, "…I need to go back to square one and do everything all over again…?"

"No." Diluc says, "You have already reached this point successfully, there is no need to start over."

Through the flying snowflakes, you can still clearly see him. His eyes are soft, he is smiling at you…

The snow seems to become heavy again. Diluc’s red hairs are flying in the cold wind. You are trembling slightly, but your feet can’t move as if they have rooted in the ground. You can only stand there, letting a thin layer of wind and snow separate you and him.

"I believe you can do well on your own from now on." Diluc continues, his crimson eyes met yours, and he smiles again, obvious enough for you to see it clearly, "Today's journey was quite delightful, traveler."

"Wait, Di—" You shout his name, but is blinded by the sudden strong wind. However, after only a few seconds, the wind stops, and you are facing an empty space, just like nobody was there before.

You look around anxiously, but you can’t feel any other human being. At the same time, the statue emits a dazzling blue light. The anemo element pours into your palm. You look up at this last statue in Mondstadt, but without any excitement and joy as you have imagined.

You sit down leaning against the statue and letting the wind whistling in your ears. Diluc's sudden departure gave you a feeling of waking up from a dream. However, the aroma lingering around reminds you that what happened today was not a dream. You look down at the black coat you are still wearing, those luxurious golden patterns are slightly deformed in your hands.

You didn’t even get a chance to say thank you...

Suddenly, you no longer have any interest in staying in Dragonspine, at least for today. You open the map, and in the next second you are standing under the identical statue, but at Dawn Winery.

Night has fallen. The wind gently blows your hair. Unlike the ones in Dragonspine, it feels warm.

You take off the coat and hold it in your hand, start walking towards the winery. You mind hasn’t come back yet, but your legs just automatically bring you right to the front of the manor.

"Welcome back, Miss." As soon as you enter the main entrance, you are greeted by Adelinde. Her eyes then fall on the thing in your hand, and she smiles, "Looks like you finally met Master Diluc today."

"Well, that’s true..." You reply in a low voice. You are embarrassed. During all this time, Adelinde has not only allowed you to live here, but she would even prepare the breakfast for you, send you out every morning, and welcome you back in the evening. Obviously, her attitude towards you is no longer as simple as a "guest".

You want to give the coat to the head housemaid, but she says that you can put it directly in Diluc's room.

Your eyes widen in surprise. Although you two have already known each other very well, and you have lived here for so long, you are still, well, a guest, after all. It is definitely not appropriate to go directly into the room of the master.

"Master ordered a long time ago that you, Miss, is allowed to enter any room in the winery."

Well then in that case…

Diluc's room is next to his study on the second floor. You have passed by countless times, but now you are a little nervous about going in. After a moment of hesitation, you carefully open the door.

The lights in the room have already been turned on. In addition to that comfortable king-size bed, there is also a desk that is similar to his study but without many things on top, surrounded by tall bookshelves. The curtains are half drawn, and the night outside could be seen. The luxurious furnishing of the room resembles the entire manor, but you can see the owner reserved a style exclusive for himself. A few wax-sealed letters are sitting on the desk, waiting to be mailed. You stare at Diluc's beautiful handwriting, an image of him sitting there and signing his name appears in front of you. Gosh, he must be as elegant as usual…

After looking around the room, you realize that there is only one place to leave his coat without opening the closet. You approach the bed, hands resting on those soft sheets. You don’t know if you are just tired or still too excited from having a trip with Diluc, but ever since you entered his room, there has been a warmth surrounding you, which is the same feeling he gave you when you were in Dragonspine today. It feels like he is still with you…

And he would sleep on this bed…by himself, after calling a day.

You swiftly cover your burning cheeks, "Stop! What the hell am I thinking?"

However……

Looking at those neat beddings, a sadness comes into you. On top of running a huge business that brings so much work and responsibilities, Diluc is only a young man who is not even older than you. How many nights can he sleep on this bed without being exhausted or stressed out…?

It is already very late, and he hasn't come back yet. Seems like the darknight hero is working hard again. Your feel like your eyelids are becoming heavier and heavier, and your mind is full of the redhead when your eyes are shut completely…

You don’t know how long it has passed, but you smell the aroma of grapes and firewood again. It is so close to you, and you can’t help but want to get closer, and closer... You feel like you have returned to Dragonspine, with Diluc is standing in front of you. Snowflakes are flying around, but it is not cold at all, it is warm, as if you two are the only light in the snow.

"Just…call me Diluc is fine."

You know you are dreaming, but his voice, and his eyes looking at you, are still so realistic and gentle. Your feelings flood out of your heart like a tide, and you can’t hold them back anymore—

It is very late.

Right after the clock strikes the third time, the door of the manor is opened and closed silently. The darknight hero rests wearily against the wall for a while, and then he slowly goes upstairs.

When Diluc enters the room, the first thing he sees is you, who is sleeping soundly against the bed while still holding the coat for dear life. He is startled, but then quietly comes to your side.

The redhead chuckles silently, observing your sleeping face lovingly. If ever you are awake, you would definitely suspect that the Diluc in front of you is a counterfeit as he would never make a face like this.

Diluc takes off his gloves, carefully pulls out the crumpled coat in your arms, then gently carries you and puts you into his own bed. You are asleep during the whole process, completely unaware of what is happening.

The moonlight shines through the gap in the curtains and falls on the two of you. Diluc, who is now supposed to take a shower and rest, sits down on the edge of the bed and looks at you without a word.

The Honorary Knight of the Knights of Favonius is now active in Liyue. Such a well-known fact can no longer be a part of his “intelligence network”.

He knows, as a traveler, you will never stop your journey until you reach the final destination and find your sibling. You will not stay in one place because of a person, an event, or a difficult task. Diluc himself had the same type of goal as you, and had traveled all over the seven nations alone, so he naturally understands your convictions and perseverance better than anyone else.

But it is precisely this kind of him, who has always been walking alone in the darkness, that he has unknowingly gotten used to and fell in love with the feeling of having you by his side. Only after you left Mondstadt, Diluc realized that even the most ordinary things, like seeing you around or saying goodbye to you, could make him miss you. Before being totally aware of the reason behind it, he had already started to take the initiative to obtain your information and your daily commissions.

Of course, that was very easy for him to do. But over time, this feeling of him, so called "missing you", gradually became a little more different than what he expected, and he couldn’t really tell what it is.

But it feels just like those few sporadic fire lights in the cold and heavy snow, which look so insignificant considering those random fire sources in the entire Dragonspine. However, the scorching heat those fire brought could not be ignored.

Because it is the heat that can make people alive. It is the warmth that he would love to approach and embrace. It is the light that he has been fighting to reach.

He wants to see you. He is going to see you.

Clouds are covering the moon. Diluc continues fixing his gaze on your face. His eyes are flickering slightly in the darkness. He can’t help but to get closer to you—

"…hm……"

Your suddenly let out a light hum. Diluc’s hand stops in mid-air instantly, fingertips are only half an inch away from your face, but you don’t seem to be bothered by anything and just move your body a bit, still asleep. Some vague syllables are coming out from your parted lips, but for some reason, it seemed like you are really trying to speak properly.

Diluc leans down to you, trying to hear your little sleep talks—

"...Diluc..."

Your voice is like a whisper, yet the pronunciation is so clear and accurate that it doesn't seem to be any kind of sleep talks.

Diluc’s eyes widen slightly, obviously in shock. He stares at you as if he is going to drill a hole on your face. He was not expecting you would say his name, and finally, without the title.

Meanwhile, clouds fades away in the exact right timing. Your cheeks are pink under the moonlight, but there is still no sign of you waking up.

......

"Yes."

Although Diluc knows you can’t hear him, he still responds in his most soft voice ever.

"Diluc..."

"Yes, I'm here."

His hand moves again. He strokes your cheek, eyes full of affection for you.

"......"

You unconsciously rub your chin against his skin, pressing your lips against his wrist.

"I…love you."

"......!"

Diluc looks at you in disbelief, feeling his whole body starts to tremble. Your warm breath sprayed on his skin reminds him that you did actually say that.

At this moment, all of his feelings in his heart are transformed into the same feeling that you have towards him. How silly of him kept telling himself that he was “missing you”, but it has been completely different since archon knows how long ago. The throbbing emotions in his chest seemed to have thawed the ice surrounds his heart, and that heat and love is spread all over his body.

"I love...Diluc..."

Your voice fades, and you fall into a deep sleep again after a while, but the redhead in front of you is surely not able to fall asleep today, in any case.

While attempting to control the heart that is about to jump out of his chest, Diluc kisses your forehead, this time, without any hesitation.

"Me too."

The moon is once again covered by clouds, but the light that can penetrate the coldness and illuminate the night will never disappear again.

The end.

——————————❄️———————————

「Snow Light」

—— Diluc Ragnvindr (CV: Kensho Ono)

Disclaimer: This translation is credited to this blog. I made adjustments based on my own understanding of the Japanese language, and I tried to make the lyrics sound more colloquial and complete.

The townscape of where you live is on the other side of the blurry window. It is flickering in seven colors. It is sparkling hazily.

Every time when I run in a hurry, chilled to the bone, I always want to hug you tightly.

Snow light, snow breath, snow flakes...

Right now, like that snow, my feelings towards you cannot be hidden.

They are falling and piling up for you, in a sparkling white.

It is only to you whom I want to give warmth. I want to hold you more than anything else.

Imagine us sitting close together, smiling, and I'm taking you by the hand…

I won’t let you go, I want to protect you. This brand new feeling is gradually growing upon me.

You are purely white. You are just my Snow Light.

Where you are you right now? What are the scenery in your eyes?

I wish to know more. This is the first time I’m having this thought.

My monochrome world is being repainted by you. That is like a miracle.

Snow shade, snow drop, snow dome...

Even if like that snow being melted away right now, this feeling of me will never disappear.

I just want to tell you, I’m always missing you.

Imagine us sitting close together, bashfully, I'm ascertaining your existence with my hand, while we staring at each other with sincere eyes.

I won’t let you go, my heart won’t change. My feelings toward you are never enough.

It is falling and piling up non stop, you’re just my Snow Light.

Although I can’t shine as beautifully as you, if I could become your light, that alone would make me able to overcome everything.

No matter how long the night is, I will never let you feel cold.

Surely tomorrow there will be a silvery morning light. It will be dazzling, it will be lovely...

It is only to you whom I want to give warmth. I want to hold you more than anything else.

Imagine, us sitting close together, smiling, and I'm taking you by the hand…

I won’t let you go, I want to protect you. This brand new feeling gradually growing upon me.

You are purely white. You are my Snow Light

Forever, you are just my Snow Light.

Thank you for reading.

[rocksibblingsau]

Hi @rocksibblings, it’s me again! Today I am here to suggest some music inspiration! So I just saw the Broadway musical “& Juliet” for my birthday a couple weeks ago (loved it) and I was also taking some notes on how some songs might fit in with your fic. For context, & Juliet is a jukebox musical so basically, their songs are covers of existing music (mostly by well-known artists). A good amount songs are “pop” songs but I think the musical covers kinda lean more towards a pop-rockish vibe. I also have someone in the family in the acting community and they said all audition song requirements for the musical are “pop-rock” so I think it can work out pretty well. (I like the Broadway version better than the actual songs themselves, but I'm literally a musical theatre kid so I’m biased lmao)  Anyway, here are my top three:

“It’s My Life” (Genre - Rock), Mainly Romeo’s part, I feel like this song fits Branch so much, it could be used as a statement/declaration song for his newfound rock style of life. I can also see his found family filling in the other parts and “certain” pop trolls filling the part when Romeo interrupts at the end (It’ll make more sense when you listen to it). This is a cover of Bon Jovi which I didn’t listen to completely but I’d say it’s worth listening to. It can also be a good opportunity for Branch to say his first cuss word at the end lol.  (P.S. Romeo’s outfit has a stereotypically punk/rock vibe so you can check that out if you want) Out of all the songs, I highly suggest you listen to this one (10/10). "It's My Life" – & Juliet Original Broadway Cast Recording 

“Since U Been Gone” (Genre - Pop Rock) - Pretty Iconic Song, Original by Kelly Clarkson, can fit with Branch along with many situations. It’s not a stereotypical song for rock and sounds more pop to my ear, but I think it could work out in a way somehow (6/10). "Since U Been Gone" – & Juliet Original Broadway Cast Recording

“Fuckin Perfect” (Genre - Pop) - Orginal by Pink, Not bad as an emotional song. It is a pop song though but I think the title and the lyrics as well as the message it brings across could work out well, especially since we have an ongoing problem with perfection. Definitely can see someone singing this to Branch. Not high on my list, but I think it’s worth a try (7/10). "Fuckin’ Perfect" – & Juliet Original Broadway Cast Recording

Honorable Mentions: Stronger, Show me the Meaning of Being Lonely, Problem/ Can’t Feel My Face, One More Try

So yeah I really hope you get to listen to these songs, I love this musical and I highly suggest you check it out (it’s pretty much all i’ve been listening to). If you get a chance I suggest you listen to whole the playlist if you like the covers. But most of all I hope some of these songs help. That’s all for now, can’t wait for the next chapter and stay hydrated!

Thank you for the recommendations! When possible for any songs that appear in fic I'm going to be using the originals rather than genre changes (except in a few... special cases ;)) but as songs to listen to while I work I love these!

I really like It's My Life, namely Romeo's part! It's funny, the start of it reminds me of a boy band song that I can't remember (I wanna say Larger Than Life? but I'm too lazy to look it up).

Rock covers of pop songs always hit so hard. The cover of Bad Romance by Halestorm? Perfection.

I could see a couple people singing 'Fuckin' Perfect' to Branch!

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

for the fic title thing i am giving u a 3oh!3 lyric: I’m A Vegetarian (I Ain’t Fucking Scared Of Him)

Look at me. Look at me bro. You gave me crunkcore lyrics I'm going to have to bring my favorite party boy into this. WHICH MEANS! This is a gentlejacked fic I will write as many as my little heart desires

Black dress with the tights underneath, I've got the breath of the last cigarette on my teeth, she's an actress but she ain't got no need. She's got money from her parents in a trust fund back east. Tongues always pressed to your cheeks while my tongue is on the inside of some other girls teeth. Tell your boyfriend if he says he's got beef that I'm a vegetarian and I ain't fucking scared of him. He wants to touch me uwu, he wants to love me, uwu, he'll never leave me uwu ueu-u-u. Don't trust a hoe etc

With this inexplicably color coordinated from memory recite of one of the songs ever, we must conclude that Ed is serving cunt, Jack is his boyfriend who says he's got beef and Stede is a trust fund baby vegetarian who ain't fucking scared of him. Additionally we must assume that Jack and Stede are writing some checks they can't cash, this casting them as the hoes that Ed is unable to trust.

So now that you are in my beautiful mind palace, let us craft a fic:

Jack is Ed's boyfriend. Ed is sort of a primadonna figure. Highly successful actor, bit of a diva. He and Jack are a power couple but one of them is clearly the Beyonce (as opposed to the Jay-Z). Then Stede, nepo baby who has never acted before in his life, swoops in and takes one of Ed's roles. Ed becomes obsessed with him. Stede and Ed begin an emotional affair. I do my standard polycule drama. I drag Anne and Mary into it somehow. I find a way to somehow kill Izzy who is just the manager but does have a massive crush on Ed and rats him and Stede out to Jack to which Jack responds much better than Izzy ever would, by pissing on Stede and starting a dick measuring contest rather than calling the cops, when this does not work out for him Izzy becomes the paparazzi's man on the inside and sells all of Ed's romantic drama to gossip rags. Stede and Jack get in a full blown fist fight for Ed's hand which is caught on camera and posted to YouTube and plastered on every morning talkshow in the country. There's betrayal from Jack and a betrayal from Stede at some point (probably both of them cheating with their respective canon/historical wives) in the fic and Ed is left with no boyfriend instead of two boyfriend. Ed has a meltdown more publicized than Britney's. And in the end they all work it out by doing the Hellen Keller and talking with their hips.

Send me a title and I'll make a fic for it.

[merakiui]

WAAA MERA I LOVE MONOPS'S REFLECTION SO MUCHHHH

im obsessed with the way you portrayed jade in the story. like its not everyday that i get to see him written in a way that totally doesnt hide his insanity at all. reading monops's reflection was just so <33 aaa tysm for writing smth so amazing!!!

you mentioned before that monops!jade is very "rotten girl grotesque romance", and i totally agree, but i was actually reminded of another old yandere vocaloid song when i read the fic! idk if you know it, but its called "pure love restraint". its a really good song hehe, you should totally check it out if you dont already know it!

oh also speaking of songs, i recently started listening to loveit? by biz since you mentioned it a while ago, and i love the song so much >< do you happen to have any other song recommendations because clearly you have great taste in music~

also as a final note, i cant wait for tmdg hehe 👉👈

-kanata <3

AAAAA THANK YOU!!!!! >w< I'm so happy you enjoyed Monops's Reflection!!!! Jade is so wildly deranged in that fic. He truly is the embodiment of the harsh, brutal depths he hails from. ;;;; seeing Reader in the storage closet with Floyd pushed him over the edge he'd been teetering on for so long now. T^T he's far surpassed the point of no return. I had so much fun finishing this fic and portraying Jade in such a terrifying manner. And poor Reader had no idea what hid behind that seemingly pleasant smile of his until it was too late...

There are so many layers to Monops!Jade. How he gets so disgusted at the sight and thought of you with anyone else. How it's not really sexual gratification he's after; he's just chasing some thrill he's yet to figure out in its entirety, which is why he doesn't touch you at all during the non-con scene. Because it's not your pleasure he cares about; he could care less whether you feel good or not. How his sanity is so thin and threadbare that it's hardly there at all. How he fails to recognize that, despite the similarities he shares with Floyd, he's still his own person, still different, but not different enough for you to look his way, apparently. And then there's the meaning of Monops, which is a "one-eyed creature." >:D aaaaa he's truly the worst.

OOOOO "true love restraint"!!!!!!! I love that song!!! That song definitely has the vibes that Monops!Jade exudes!! And I'm happy you enjoyed listening to "loveit." :D it's a very good song, but then all of biz's songs are amazing!!!

>:) I always have song recommendations to share!! I'll list a few of my favorite (lesser known) Vocaloid songs with dark undertones/stories below, but if there's any specific genre you'd like recs for please let me know!!!

✧ insanity blue (all of kashii moimi's songs are fantastic!!! i recommend them, but this one is my all-time favorite hehe)

✧ wolfism (there's also a jade utau cover of this song. <3 both are very good.)

✧ go to daitokai (the lyrics for this one are very nsfw, but this song is very catchy.)

✧ biohazard (the original is very good, but i love the sonika cover so much!!)

✧ distortion love (this piko cover is everything. <3)

✧ ◇◇ (i love this song and the songs that are similar to [redacted]'s style. i'm not sure if you know of these style of utau songs (the "no title" songs), but in 2020 they became especially popular and a lot of people online began to call it a secret cult of sorts, where you couldn't search these videos normally because they didn't have a title to search for, so instead the videos would find you.)

✧ lamprey hole (i love this song forever!!!!!)

✧ meiro (it's so so good!!!)

✧ no title (this song is a banger!!!!!!!!! it got me through quarantine as did all the other no title songs and tributes. :D)

I will stop here or else the list will go on endlessly, but if you ever wish to hear new music I will be happy to share some recommendations!!! Also, thank you for looking forward to tmdg!!!!! <3 it grows closer to completion with every passing day!!!!

[in-my-loki-feels]

🎥(cheating but bad things verse as a whole?) 🤩🟥🥘😁

Thank you for the ask! (From this game.)

🎥 Pick a fic and I'll tell you the song I imagine playing during its movie trailer.

I loved this question! It really made me examine all the songs on my Bad Things playlist. For the 'verse as a whole, I'd pick "You Are Mine" by Mutemath. I almost titled the most recent fic "Objects of Affection" based on the lyrics:

There are objects of affection That can mesmerize the soul There is always one addiction That just cannot be controlled

It's such a chill song, though, so it probably makes terrible trailer music. "Make You Mine" by Madison Beer would be a better beat to cut scenes to and fits just as well. (And thank you very much for introducing it to me!)

🤩 What's the most meaningful comment you've ever received?

Now I'm going to cheat because there isn't one single comment, but instead a lot of the comments I've received on the Bad Things fics that have been some of the most meaningful I've ever received. I've never written for a character like President Loki, where people love him or hate him (or don't give a shit about him), and having readers say that my fic(s) made them actually care about him has been huge. That, and hearing that I managed to create a fully fleshed out being, with complexity and depth, from someone we saw for maybe 2 minutes. If there's a better way to make me feel accomplished in my writing, I don't know it. I'm not joking when I say that, mentally, I'm taking those comments and clutching them to my chest. <3

🟥 How long do you spend in edits?

Once I complete a first draft, I usually do at least 2-3 passes through it, which probably takes a week if I'm able to work on it a little each day. After that, I always try to leave it alone for at least a day before I come back for the final check. I've learned from experience that if I just keep poking at it without taking that break, I'll miss things and also get frustrated with the fic as a whole.

🥘 What wip are you most excited about?

I'm usually most excited about whatever I'm currently working on (which is why I'm writing that) but right now I'm between two wips. I was really excited about the appropriately named Jet Ski wip but then I typed a sentence that threw me for such a loop I had to abandon it and move on to the Stranded In Asgard wip.

Actually, the shorter (and better) answer is: whichever Bad Things 'verse fic is next. <3

😁 What makes you happiest? New fic comments, kudos, bookmarks, user subscribers, story subscribers, or Tumblr asks?

Definitely comments! I just love hearing what readers think about my fics and the more detail the better. It also usually gives me a chance to talk more about the characters/story, which I'm always eager to do. I'd place Tumblr asks second for that reason, though I think they're less frequent. (I liked your point about notes in bookmarks but my fics almost always have bookmarks without notes, so I didn't place them higher on this list.)

[astrosfaerydae]

Your Favorite Necklace is My Right Hand

"Uhh, so question, what did that have to actually do with the song?" It was a legitimate question. The lyrics could be interpreted in many ways but they weren't meant to solely scream "THIS IS SEXY." The music maybe was supposed to give off that vibe but the song had many layers to it that were much deeper than the obvious horny thoughts that would be initially assumed. There were so many feelings and thoughts behind these lyrics but still for most the horny thoughts were a relatively huge focus for those that don't look deeper. 

     "Is the metaphor not obvious enough, should we redo it you think?" Chan answered seriously, still partially in work mode. 

     "See, all my brain could really process while filming was choked and chained up... hmmm happy Hyunjinnie. Not too many other thoughts on the filming concept wise. I mean you explained it earlier I think but I lost all my brain cells when you choked me." 

WARNINGS:

Mentions of blood (only once not graphic), spanking, use of the word slut

NOTES:

poly kids is mentioned but for this purpose, it wasn't necessary to elaborate do not under any circumstances take this as a means of proper bdsm etiquette you can get severely hurt if its not approached properly always practice safe sane consensual sex

Anyways, I've been working on this since the unveil track was released so please ignore any inconsistencies now that the full mv is out! Also really really check out the lyrics it's so deep and the artistry behind it is gorgeous. Using a sexual theme was the perfect metaphor as they intended I'm just so in Awe of them. aksjdflkjadlfjlkajsdf anyways please enjoy!

Title: Paralyzed by Sueco

(these are the original notes fic was originally posted Sep '21)

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