#fic — yjs. it may end with your death

[jasperarsonaurelia]

Evelyn : I am disgusted. I am revolted. I devote all my time to our lord and savior jesus christ and this is the thanks I get??

Taissa : aren’t you agnostic?

Evelyn : yes, but I'm being dramatic

[threewaysdivided]

Me over here in my corner thinking about YJDW, and how absolutely ironically sad it would be if after all the huffing and puffing about ghosts and all the hell he gave Danny, that Wally himself came back as a ghost post-Endgame and only Danny could see and talk to him.

I need to rewatch the OG show again but for a happier alternative, what if Danny saved Wally from his original fate?

(Young Justice: Deathly Weapons)

It seems my primary creative contribution to fandom has been the creation of a bespoke, artisanal brain-corner in which people are compelled to sit and think about DW 😅.  It’s nice to know that, while I may have sunk-cost-fallacy-ed myself into this hole, the rest of you are having fun climbing into it with me.

As for an Endgame!AU, that’s kind of complicated by DW’s… let’s say fraught relationship with canon.  I really like YJ Season 1, but as everyone and their dog has been unable to escape me telling them I think lead-showrunner Greg Weisman is an appallingly bad storyteller (in fact I think he writes like a cowardly, exploitative incel) and under his “creative control” the later entries became an infuriating mess.  Back when there were only two seasons in the mainline canon I used to cut Invasion a lot more slack – allowing it to coast on the uninformed and incorrect assumption that both entries came from the same creative team, and that the seeming disjointedness of Invasion’s narrative was the result of executive meddling or troubled production at a time when a lot of Cartoon Network’s PG animated shows were infamously being put through hell by the network. 

However, after the disappointment of the “revival” I did a little bit more looking into things and realised that what I actually liked was the output of Season 1’s distinct production team – a team which included heavy input from experienced DC creatives like lead-directors Jay Oliva and Michael Chang (previously credited on the Teen Titans 2004 series, which was also praised for good character-storytelling).  It became clear to me that there were actually two separate products:  Season 1 (plus a couple of early tie-in comics by non-Weisman writers)… and everything else.  Turns out that dropping your primary directors results in a directionless story, whodathunk?

Once I took off those rose-coloured glasses, I ran into the problem that it’s actually not possible to get from Season 1 to Invasion without fundamentally breaking the narrative in really unpleasant ways.��  Deathly Weapons has since become fully canon-divergent from that break-point.  I want to pay respects to the arcs, themes and characterisation of the Oliva-Chang Season, which means Invasion wouldn’t reasonably happen in the DW!Verse.  Ergo, no timeskips, no character-assassinations, and Wally never gets randomly knifed to “subvert the expectations” of viewers who might be familiar with a prominent Flash-storyline from another unconnected continuity.  I’m not kidding: that is why Endgame ended the way it did, this is what Greg and Brandon think storytelling is, their opinions should not be trusted.

So in a way I guess that problem kind of solved itself.

But that’s not very satisfying, is it?

Looking back at my brainstorming notes from the before-times (when DW was planned with the loose possibility of connecting back into later canon), I had a post-Endgame future-fic idea which focussed more on Dick.  The idea was for Dick to end up at Danny’s apartment while trying to cope with losing Wally.  Once there I had a scene where he wanders aimlessly while Danny is out dealing with some unavoidable adult-life stuff, leading him to find some old photos of Tucker.  The main scene was going to be Dick having a “conversation” with Tucker’s (metaphorical) spirit - speaking to the memory of his foster-brother’s late best friend about his own now-gone best friend, and asking Tucker to look out for Wally wherever they might be now.

I suppose that’s more where my style of angst lands for grief/death arcs.  I like to focus on death arcs as a reflection of the character’s life – the specifics of their personality, the distinct impression their presence left on the people around them and how the unique hole they occupied aches without them.  I’ve mentioned this before in the Jason-ask but my general thesis is that we are haunted by absences more than presences; we project ghosts in attempt to fill the hole(s) left when someone abruptly vanishes from our lives.

Because of that I tend to have very different story approaches for metaphorical ghosts (which explore the internal struggles of living characters coping with a loss) vs literal ghosts (actual tangible creatures who represent an external struggle).  I know it sounds kind of ironic considering that I killed off about 70% of the core Danny Phantom cast for Deathly Weapons, but when I kill a character it’s usually so I can do a retrospective on the value of their life.  So long as they’re mourned well, I don’t personally feel a need to bring most “dead” characters back.

That said, there is a lot of potential angst that could come from someone “becoming a ghost” with the way I’ve been headcanoning it to work in Deathly Weapons.  In Chapter 16, Phantom mentions that ectoplasmic ghosts are formed when the impression of a dying person’s consciousness is preserved in ectoplasm and gives rise to a new entity.  In a best-case scenario you get a complete translation of the same person to a new bio-medium, but in other cases you might get an incomplete or warped impression – missing some pieces and exaggerating others, like a reflection in a funhouse mirror.  This is how I like to explain the humanoid DP ghosts being so gimmicky and single-minded: they’re a flanderization built from only the strongest parts of their living personality at the moment of death.  It’s also one of the reasons why Phantom and the others don’t rush to “well, they might be a ghost now” as an easy solution to characters dying or being presumed-dead.  Sure, that character might not be entirely gone… but would the pieces that remain actually be them?

It’s a style of horror that isn’t especially my bag, but I think there’s a lot of potential angst mileage in that specific brand of “came back wrong” – leaving a ghost that is uncannily like you but is missing the specific memories or details needed to actually make you you.  A familiar stranger – unable to be the person they were, having no say or fault in being what they are, but who everyone has to deal with anyway (especially if they retain enough memories to understand that they know you).

That said, there would be no situation in which Wally came back as complete ghost where he wouldn’t be completely pissy about it.  Just, the indignity of it all, really.  

Still, I think it’s worth considering that, while Wally is certainly giving Danny hell with where he is in the story right now (Mission 1 of Arc II at the time of this post), in any five-years-later post-DW scenario the two of them would be a lot more chill with each other.

While some of the YJ cast have ended up with relatively static planned personal arcs throughout DW (for clarity, a static arc is where a character doesn’t experience substantial personal change across a story – they may receive elaboration into their personality, history and/or develop new relationships with others but by the end they are still mostly the same person) I hope people can trust that Wally isn’t one of them.  Him acting like a sulky, stinky jerkass right now isn’t because I’m planning on having him be The Sulky Stinky Jerkass™ for the entire story, but because he’s at the start of his major personal arc.  His flaws are on full display at the moment because he’s going to have to confront those flaws, how they hurt him and others, and make the decision on whether (and how) to be better.

The loose timeline for DW’s planned story is that the main arc (right now comprising 11 planned missions) takes place over 6-ish months from the point where Phantom first joins the Team.  Wally’s personal arc is planned to be part of that.  Add an additional 4-and-a-half years on top of that and they would have had a lot of time to let the water settle under the bridge.

With that being said, we’re heading into the stormiest parts of the water at the moment.  The interpersonal angst is going to get much worse before it gets better.  Not somebody-dies level, but some people are going to hurt each other quite badly before the resolution and a LOT of yelling is going to happen.��

Here’s a teaser for one of the worst lines :

“Better that than some green-wood who gets people hurt because he wanted to play hero!”

Yeah, things are going to get mean.  It may be a different flavour than some expected but I am nonetheless intending to serve 4 chapters of angst, and more than one of the boys is going to get served a lot of crow to eat over that mess.

[zoefandom127]

this literally came up out of nowhere. I was thinking about this YJ fic i read a while ago when Artemis got poisoned then i started thinking about Mikasa's family line and how she has SUPER STRENGTH (don't try to argue with me, just let me believe what i want to believe lol) So i got to thinking and this is what came to be. This totally does not correlate with the plot and i think it may a little all over the place...but let's see how well i did!

The Durability of an Individual

She had never heard of another person with her last name. The last people she knew with the name Ackerman were her parents and her memory of them in her life was pretty short-lived.

Kenny the Ripper. Kenny Ackerman.

Captain Levi. Levi Ackerman.

Ackerman.

What a fucking family tree. She was related to an expert killer and a blunt, emotionless captain. Well, at least there's somewhat of a personality resemblance with Levi.

When Levi had finally brought Kenny into custody, she thought she'd get some answers. But the man was as silent as a dumbbell, refusing to say anything until his hearing. She'd been watching him be interrogated by Levi and Erwin and hoping for a little slip about her family.

Where are they from? Why were they persecuted? Where is everyone else? Anything would suffice her need to know. It had been a good ten minutes before her legs got tired and the fluorescent light started to burn her eyes. She made a beeline for the exit and was met with the afternoon breeze of Ehrmich.

"Hey." She turned to meet the voice and was met with the two boys who were always by her side.

"You okay?" Eren said with a worried expression at her dejected face. Of course, her face remained neutral but with a simple glance, he could always understand what she was feeling.

"Yeah, I just...I finally found my...I don't know what they are and—" Mikasa looked down at the floor she stood, suddenly finding the cracks in the stone pretty interesting. "I want to know more about myself. You know, where I come from, what I am, who my parents were." Her voice cracked at the end.

She felt an arm wrap around her waist and pull her body into the side of his. She heard Armin shuffle to her other side and place a comforting hand on her shoulder. Letting out a heavy sigh, Mikasa laid her head on Eren's shoulder.

She typically refused to think or talk about anything that involved her parents in fear of having the memory of that night replay in her mind. It still haunted her to this day though she wished it didn't. Not just her parent's death but the people she murdered. That was enough trauma to last a century.

Before she basked too long in the presence of her friends, a door opened only to reveal a stone-faced Levi.

"Ackerman." Mikasa quickly turned her head to salute her captain, feeling Armin and Eren do the same on either side of her. Levi waved them off and set his eyes on her. "You can try to get answers out of the bastard but I guarantee he won't budge. Good luck." Levi stepped aside to allow Mikasa to enter.

Hesitating, Mikasa strode through the door, hearing her friends shuffle in behind her. Making a left on the second door of the hallway she stood before the man who was her supposed "family". Her breath hitched when she saw him bloodied and bruised. Not that she had expected anything less, this has become the Scout's forte now.

Kenny lifted his head slowly, taking in the sight in front of him. He gave a wide, toothy smile and let out what seemed to be a laugh. "Really, kid? You gave up so you sent in the girl? I know I didn't raise a quitter."

Mikasa almost flinched when he yelled the last part. "I…" Mikasa pushed her shoulders back farther than they already were and made her face colder than it was before, "You're a part of the Ackerman clan. Tell me more about them."

"Heh. Not a lot I can tell you, kid. I don't know much more than you." Kenny spoke with a menacing tone, keeping his eyes firmly on her causing her to shuffle slightly on the balls of her feet.

"You don't know anything? What about where we're from? How we got scattered? What makes us able to do the things we do?" Mikasa almost sounded desperate. "Who we were? Just give me that much."

"Sorry. Beats me." Kenny smiled condescendingly and proceeded to look Mikasa up and down escalating her discomfort. "But...you do look familiar."

Mikasa's eyes narrowed at the outward thought. She'd never met him until now so what the hell could he possibly mean by that statement.

"Ah. I get it now. You're Linda and Jamun's daughter."

Mikasa tensed immediately. Her whole body stiffened and her eyes widened, the only indications that his words surprised her. "How did you—"

"You were the girls they were after. You know I dabbled in human trafficking myself, right Levi?" He nodded his head towards the expressionless man leaning against the wall next to the door. "A real doozy business. Quit after about 3 months. But for a short while, I became the commander. You know; calling all the shots, deciding who to kill and who to take."

Mikasa felt her fists clench and unclench repeatedly, trying to figure out where he was going with this whole spiel.

"I remember seeing the name 'Ackerman' on the list and thinking 'Huh, what a small world'. Honestly, I just wanted to test if these were true Ackerman's, you know? Strength and all. Of course my men, dumbasses I'll tell you, killed one too many. I asked the system the next morning why they gave me a group of incompetent shitheads and—"

"What are you saying?" Mikasa demanded, voice shaking.

Kenny seemed a little irritated at the interruption and looked at Mikasa through one not swollen eye like she asked the dumbest question ever. "My, my. You got one almost as dumb as you, Levi." Kenny smiled a menacing smile and gave Mikasa a look that sent chills down her spine. "I sent out the order to kill your parents."

Her feet went cold. Her heart started to beat hard against her ribcage that she thought it might bust out. There was a faint calling of her name from the hallway but she couldn't quite place the voice. She stood frozen in front of "The Ripper", his smile never wavering. Her nails dug into the palms of her hand as she tried to keep her composure but even she could feel her body trembling.

"Well, parent. Singular. Like I said those men were stupid as he—" Kenny didn't even get the full sentence out before a fist made contact with his face in record time and strength. A satisfying crunch filled the silence of the room. As soon as the first hit happened it didn't stop.

Punch after punch rained upon Kenny's body and with his hands tied firmly behind his back he was left defenseless. Usually, Mikasa was the calm one. She was always level headed and never one to fight unless it's needed. But something inside of her snapped. Either it was the careless way Kenny confessed to her parent's murder or the fact that this sick man was her relative; she had no idea. All she knew was that he was in front of her and he was punchable.

"Mikasa." She faintly heard Eren's voice caution her in the background but she didn't stop. The punches became faster and more forceful. She was blinded by rage, she didn't even notice Kenny loosening himself from his bindings.

She felt multiple hands attempt to pull her back but she shrugged them off with a strength none of them could attend to.

"Ackerman!" The commanding voice stopped her in motion, her fist suspended in mid-air. She turned her head to meet Commander Erwin's calm but serious eyes. "Leave."

Her fist throbbed as she slowly lowered her arm. The shaking in her body was less prevalent but still noticeable. Her face was etched in what seemed to be a dangerous scowl as she looked around the room.

She could feel everyone's gaze on her which only made her more uncomfortable. Armin gave her the same worried look he'd give Eren when he went off the rails. The concern that showed in Eren's face was almost alarming but she paid no attention to it.

Sparing one last glance at Kenny, Mikasa turned on her heels to leave the room. But before she could get too far, a strong hand grasped her wrist with an unyielding grip. The hand yanked her forcefully towards the body it was attached to and turned her so that her arm twisted painfully behind her back.

"Ah!" Mikasa let out a cry of pain as she wiggled to release herself but the hand only tightened more around her wrist.

It happened fast. Everyone stood straight in alert and turned their attention to Mikasa in a split second. Eren's eyes scanned the scene and narrowed in a frightening way.

"Now, now. Don't resist. It'll only hurt more. Right, Levi?" Kenny spoke, sadistically.

Mikasa struggled mercilessly against his grasp, almost releasing herself but Kenny simply reevaluated his grip and squeezed harder. Her strength wasn't going to get her out of this.

As for Levi, his eyes turned dark and colder than they already were. He was starting to get tired of Kenny addressing him as if he was still his caretaker. If you could even call him that.

Kenny was always one to have tricks up his sleeve. How had he not seen it sooner?

"Let her go," Eren growled, his eyes never leaving Mikasa.

"Aw, stop being so serious, kid. Learn how to smile." Kenny chuckled in Mikasa's ear. She nearly cringed at his breath.

Mikasa's wiggles became more violent but Kenny kept his hold firm. "She definitely has that Ackerman strength," Kenny muttered as he used one hand to try to keep Mikasa still and the other to reach into the back of his pants and pull out a syringe. The syringe was filled with a clear green liquid from top to bottom.

"Levi, you remember this? 'Only a true Ackerman with immeasurable strength can take this vial'," Kenny looked at the vial then shrugged. "Or whatever bullshit that bishop told me."

Kenny positioned the needle of the syringe inches before the skin of Mikasa's neck. Eren started to charge almost immediately at the older man but Levi pushed him and spoke first.

"What do you want?" Levi all but glowered at his Uncle. Huh. Never thought he'd be saying that.

Kenny's smile grew wider, showing his bloodied teeth. "Easy there, buddy. I just wanna see what the drug does. 'Course I'm not gonna test it out on myself. That would be dumb!" He moved the vial closer to Mikasa's neck. "Nah. Why not try it on someone I don't know."

"Wait!" Eren yelled. Kenny paused his movement. "Why does it have to be her? Can't you find someone else?"

"Sorry, but it has to be Ackerman blood that takes this thing, and unfortunately, no one else but me and my stupid nephew have it in this room. It's nothing personal. Just taking advantage of the opportunity I'm given...just like I taught you, Levi."

With that, Kenny plunged the syringe into Mikasa's neck. She jutted at the sudden insertion and scrunched her face in pain as she felt the liquid be injected into her body.

Loud noises of protest filled the room. Kenny had been ripped from behind her and shoved to the ground but the damage had already been done. He just laid there with a satisfied smile as guards began to point guns at his beaten body.

It was excruciating. The substance entered her and left a fiery, hot path as it passed through the blood in her body. Her knees buckled to the floor, suddenly feeling that her body was too heavy to hold up. The veins within her boiled beneath her skin and her senses became overwhelmed.

She suddenly became aware of every scent, every sound, and everything around her. Her heart thumped loudly in her ears. She didn't even notice how her bruised hands reached up to cover her ears and how a guttural scream ripped from her throat. Her eyes were scrunched shut in order to block out the dim light that illuminated the room, even with how dim it was it still blinded her. She heard her name get called repeatedly from the side of her as her back hunched over but it sounded so distant.

Her eyes flung wide open as she gasped for air that was all around but couldn't seem to be inhaled by her. Wavering on her knees, she slumped to the ground. Her eyes grew too heavy to keep open and the world spun around her.

Eren's face popped into her line of sight, the panic evident on his face. She could see his mouth moving but she didn't hear a thing. Suddenly too exhausted to keep up, Mikasa's eyes shut once again, finally succumbing to the darkness that enveloped her vision.

this was really fun to write! I'm not used to adding or rewriting plots and details like this tho so i'm not sure if it's good but i like it. hopefully you guys did too!

[pichitinha]

Fic Writer Questions!

I was tagged by @peter-covinskys, thank you!! 🥰

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

eighty-five !!!!!!!!!!! if only i remembered how to write so i could reach one hundred rip

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

exactly 337,220. not much but it's honest work

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

in total 6-ish

harry potter, percy jackson, doctor who (kinda), young justice/dcu, rpdr, to all the boys

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

747: It's what friends do - Young Justice (Birdflash)

626: Possibly, Maybe - RPDR (Trixya)

434: Searching, Waiting, Looking - RPDR (Trixya)

428: It only takes a taste - RPDR (Trixya)

338: When no one else was looking - To All The Boys (Covinsky)

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

always!!! responding to comments is one of my favorite parts of the fic process!!!

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

i am a fluffy/happy ending person through and through so i was inclined to say "none" when i remembered i have this one sad (alternate)ten/rose fic that i just reread and while my english was atrocious back then and i truly intend on going back and fixing it, it's pretty poetic and angsty i think

So far we are... so close - Doctor Who

7) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

literally all of them except for the one above and "gone tonight" which is sort of open ended lmao. but i'm gonna go with SWL bc it's a multichapter and i wrote a whole epilogue of fluffy so

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

i don't and i don't think i ever will but i do think about my favorite characters interacting a LOT. my most constant scenario is a hospital au with all of my main ships, i have everyone's specialties in my mind and i revisit scenes often, it's wonderful

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

full on hate, never, but there were two instances that were kind of funny:

- i was partaking in a fic forum contest with the theme "meta" so i wrote a meta fic (fics that mention the existence of that universe fanfic within it) and i tagged it and all and someone left me a lengthy comment about how much they hate meta fics and i was like??? ok???

- i have this cute little piece called glasses where percy "steals" jason's glasses and goes to the canoe lake and annabeth tries to retrieve them and they get all cute and kiss once (1) and someone left me a comment asking how dare i post such explicit content in a fic rated K? ASDFHDJSHSH

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

sometimes! it's difficult for me and not something that i find fits most of my stories, but sometimes it does and it flows well. i've written some, but it's in the lowest percentage of my writing

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

oh boy, have i. a few times. last two times were separate occasions, months apart, but by the same fucking person. wattpad is fucking hell. they changed the names and just posted it to another fandom.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

once but it fits better into the previous question: one time i was searching the percabeth tag (that was like years and years and years ago) and there was this little drabble in portuguese (my mother tongue) and i started reading it and it was SO familiar and i was like wait a minute this is mine??? so like i wrote it in portuguese, then translated it into english myself, and someone without asking for permission or crediting me translated it back into portuguese and posted it as if it was theirs. it was a ride

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no and i think im too controlling to ever do that

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

that would be mister perseus jackson and miss annabeth chase aka literally the best otp that has ever existed they love each other so much and they will live a full life of happiness and that's all i have to say

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

omg so many... im still in the hopeful stages for all the ones for my current fandom (tatb) so let's skip that and go to previous fandoms:

the trixya jealously one. i have like 8k of it and i liked it so much. it's so far from done. i wish i could finish it.

the hinny spy au. i loved when i had that idea. god that was such a long time ago rip

and the fake death yj au. god i wish.

16) What are your writing strengths?

right now i feel like it's nothing tbh, and i'm doing this to be dramatic or fishing for compliment, it's just been such a long period of writer's block that everything in writing seems weak to me right now. i am however much better at scenes with only two characters, the more people you throw in there the more likely i am to screw it up

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

as mentioned, any scenes with lots of people, but also may i say: ENDINGS. ending a fic is literally the hardest thing on the planet i don't understand how people do it smh

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i like it if it fits the characters/story but i absolutely hate not knowing what they're saying or having to wait for the author's note, so i'm a fan of putting the translation immediately after if you're gonna do that

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

harry potter.......... we've been there folks

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

how can a person even choose this....... i'm proud of so many of mine. if i had to pick one right now i'd say "Just fall into place (you'll fall into me)" bc i wrote the type of fic that i love finding in my other fandoms and it felt like such an accomplishment. but im proud of many of them

i'm tagging @promiseofthepremise @scarletenvy @xgoldendays @byima and whoever else writes fic i totally lost sight of that in here sorry folks!!!

[nuclidic]

Given that a lot of us are stuck inside with all this COVID-19 stuff, do you have any good TimKon fic recommendations to keep us more happily occupied?

Haha yes! I have this list from years ago but it is way past time for an update.

Disclaimer: these are just things I like, please heed all tags and warnings etc. I'm also not reccing any WIPs because unfinished fics kill me every time.

Crystal Clear by Merit andAnd I'll Tell You No Lies by caecily

Two short takes on soulmate tropes that have to go first because I love them so much, I love soulmate aus, Tim and Kon are soulmates, the end.

Where There's a Wish by LeeayreBeing Robin’s vessel is hard enough: the exhaustion, the life-threatening late night activities, the bruises and bullet holes and broken bones. Trying to hide all that from his incredibly suspicious, incredibly hot new roommate while maintaining his studies and placating his parents? Tim has never had it so hard. Especially since said roommate doesn’t actually know he’s Superboy.

So the setup for this is unusual, I'm not sure if it's based on anything but: superhero identities are Personas, independent (basically magical) personalities created by the wishes of a person or groups of people who act through hosts that have the will to manifest whatever that persona does. Basically: Robin is an independent persona, Tim shares his body with him and when Robin manifests the costume and all the gadgets appear. It's explained throughout the story, but just in case you start it and are like wtf is happening. This possibly should go in the thirds section because the actual pairings in this are: Robin/Tim, Red Robin/Tim, Tim/Kon, Red Robin/Tim/Kon, Red Robin/Superboy, and Red Robin/Superboy/Tim. Red Robin can also be kind of dubconny so watch out for that if it's a concern.

Wing Beats in Reverse by firefrightJason Todd is the third Robin, not the second, growing up in shadow of Tim Drake's death. Despite this, he still manages to form strong bonds with his new family. Especially Damian, who wishes to atone for his past mistakes with Jason's predecessor. But when he's fifteen, a mysterious red hooded figure kidnaps Jason from the rooftops of Gotham, and after that his life will never be the same again.

A Robin reversal AU (ie Damian is the eldest, Dick the youngest) that's Jason-centric but of course that doesn't lessen the Tim angst. Or the Kon angst when he finds out Tim is alive. Hopeful ending, but it doesn't fix everything.Other pairings: JayRoy, StephCass (barely)

Time Flies by by LaroyenaJon Kent is Superboy. Tim's gut instinct tells him that's wrong.(Timkon fix-it where reboot!Tim misses Kon like a phantom limb. And then he gets him back.)

Sometimes you just need to cry over the lack of Kon in your life and this fic provides the PERFECT excuse. Heartbreaking and then happy. (Also brings Colin back UNLIKE DC.)Other pairings: implied Clex

Not Completely Powerless After All by ChimaeraKittenNobody was quite prepared for the kid who runs the company to visit, but they manage, in fact, they might be pleasantly surprised; they weren't expecting him to be nice. Of course, they weren't expecting him to be a possible ninja either, but you gotta take the good with the bad.

Outsider POV!!! I have never watched Powerless so you definitely don't need to be familiar with it, this is just a glorious casefic told by someone who doesn’t know it’s a case.

Matters of the Heart by DMWith Clark off-world as an ambassador to Earth, Conner has to watch over Metropolis. Though it should be straightforward, there appears to be something amiss with seemingly random crimes happening around the city. Conner has a hunch that they’re connected and calls in his best friend to help. But as the two of them spend time together working the case, Conner realizes that his feelings for Tim might not be what he had thought.

A long casefic with feelings, basically everything I ever want.

Stumbling Home by bewaretheboojumIn his mid-twenties, Tim moves back to Gotham City after several years living abroad. He's feeling adrift, unfocused and a little off balance as he tries to re-establish a life in his home town.Kon is a fireman by day and superhero by night. When mysterious fires start cropping up in Metropolis, all signs point to arson. Who better to help him get to the bottom of this arson case than Tim? And really, it seems like Tim could use the distraction...

Another casefic with older TimKon. I didn't like the initial setup with Tim having abandoned his friends for years but it won me over in the end.

the honesty in your body by LaroyenaLuthor's tech saved Kon's life at the cost of his mind. Tim must take a feral Kon across space to restore his humanity... which is just as difficult as one may think.(Batman Omegaverse AU: unabashed TimKon porn detailing their original get-together in their early teens to their definite get-together in their late teens. But mostly porn.)

Yep, this is mostly omegaverse porn and it's excellent and I love it, I really don't know what else to tell you.Other pairings: BruDick

I'm Alone Here, I Think by unluckylokiSuperboy is fighting robots in San Francisco and remembers something that wasn't.There's a new priest in the Naxos temple appointed by Dream of the Endless.Kon is missing something. Tim is missing everything.One day Krypto practically drags Superboy to a remote island in Europe and there's a dark haired guy smiling at Kon like he knows him.Maybe he does.

Sandman crossover but I haven't read Sandman in 500 years so you don't need to know most of it. Kind of identity porn, but more...fraught. Excellent Tim angst (there...might be a pattern here) and I'll be honest I'm not very into all the witches and stuff but overall very enjoyable.

Nowhere But Forward by MishaBerryIt shouldn't have happened the way it did.When Kon finds Tim in Paris, it leads to a night that neither of them will ever forget, for better or for worse. Tim is then forced to confront something he's been denying about himself for a very long time, and Kon begins to question some things about himself. The road ahead is full of twists and turns, but there's nowhere to go but forward.

I really love long fics, but tbh I found this started to drag a little towards the end. I still enjoy it overall with delicious Tim angst.

Plus One SectionSometimes when pickings are slim we can try food we wouldn't normally eat, and sometimes it's delicious. Which is to say these are fics with Tim/Kon/Another Person. Don't go any further if this upsets your OTP soul, I completely understand.

TimKonBartTroika by glitterandlubeThis is kind of written like crack and definitely won't appeal to everyone, but it's a fix-it of preboot where instead of living with the Kents in Smallville and becoming the country boy of Teen Titans (2003) Kon moves to Gotham and then scores with Tim and eventually Bart. Follows the previous canon's timeline almost to the start of Red Robin. Some (honestly warranted) bashing of Steph but also of Lois Lane (???).Also contains explicit Tim/Dick.Other pairings: Clex, JayDick

TimKonCassieTrymmetry by glymrWhy do they feel like something's missing?

Set in a universe where Kryptonians form triad soulbonds. Kon and Cassie have both always been thinking about Tim when they're together, and after Kon comes back they can no longer deny it. They have to find Tim. I wish this was ten times longer.

JayTimKon

Heart of the Hoard by firefrightJason is a knight on a mission to save a captive young woman from a cruel and vicious dragon. However, when Jason reaches the keep the girl is kept in, it quickly becomes clear that not all is as it seems with his quest. For starters, Lady Timothea is actually Lord Timothy, and - as Jason soon discovers - he's hardly a prisoner in his tower.

Perfect because Kon is an ACTUAL DRAGON though it does lean on his YJ cartoon characterization.

I (Don't) Want to Believe by chibinightowl and strikeyourcolors

FBI agents Tim Drake and Conner Kent are sent to Arkham Heights High School to investigate a series of unexplainable incidents that have both staff and students on edge. Tim's firmly of the opinion the school is haunted while Kon is positive the occurrences can be explained in a more reasonable manner. After all, he doesn't believe in ghosts.Right? Right?

Horror casefic where Tim had a previous thing with Jason but also a thing with Kon so sharing is the way to go, especially when you're more (or maybe just equally) concerned about being murdered by ghosts in a haunted former asylum.

Okay I am stopping now because otherwise I will continue forever. I hope this satisfies some hunger.

[disregardcanon]

end of year writing meme for 2018! feel free to piggyback if you’d like to and please tag me if you do! i’d love to see what everyone did ficwise this year :) 

Total Stories Written: 31

Total Words Written:  122741 Average Words Per Story: 4,000 Shortest Story: femme fatale 389 Longest: born to live, made to die wip currently at 20,826 Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted?

less for sure. i wrote more original stuff this year (i got 20k done for nano! woop!) but over all i didn’t write as much. i’ve been busier and there’s been a lot more happy stuff going on outside of school, so that’s good. 

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write most?

pairing: snaibsel from number of stories, tododeku from how many words were written about a pairing

genre: um. is “coming of age story/gender bend” a genre because i wrote that the most

fandom: bnha

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January?

well i didn’t even know that spop was a thing in january so rewrite would have been a surprise except that it’s so up my alley that i would just look at and say “that tracks”. maybe all the bnha gender bends? i would have been shocked that i made myself ship kacchako when i first started bnha in june probably  Did you take any writing risks this year?

i started a long fic for fma that i’m still working on, which is pretty big for me. i also started a series about gender bent bnha characters, which is pretty controversial.  Do you have any fanfic or general writing goals for the new year?

finish up some more of those bnha gender bends, finish the bnha yj crossover, and hopefully finish more original fic. 

From the past year of writing, what was your… Best story of this year:

born to live, made to die has to be it. everything has just kind of come together in that one and i’ve grown so much as a writer working on it. 

Most popular story of this year:

gimme a boost over heaven’s gate, the au where tahani and eleanor meet on a trashy day time tv show and fall in love and decide to become better people together 

Personal favorite:

ad astra per aspera for sure. projecting all my own feelings all over the place? exploring ochako as a character? having her make out with my butch lesbian bakugo? accidentally becoming a kacchako shipper? that fic is very important to me. 

then after that is probably heavy is the head that wears the cowl. i love getting back into jaime and bart’s heads every single time that i do it and this one was a real treat. working through their reputations, writing some stuff about their relationships, and getting to juxtapose them and then bring them back together was fantastic. it was some of my best work this year not gonna lie. 

Most under-appreciated: i’d say hers, not his just because it’s 18k for a popular pairing and only has 35 kudos. i worked very hard on that fic and it’s for tododeku! tododeku! i know that fics for large ships can slip through the cracks but it still kinda ticks me off. 

Most fun to write:

two badass lady veterans was certainly a joy. i LOVE writing middle aged women realizing their sexuality and falling in love, and writing penelope as an emerging bisexual woman learning with her daughter is such a joy. the alvarezes are all super fun to write and jill is such a good character too. 

gimme a boost over heaven’s gate was super fun too because tahani’s pov is a delight and i love every member of the good place cast. 

gotham nine nine was super funny because it’s all of the b99 folks and their super villain SOs or one night stands from the dc universe 

Story with the single sexiest moment:

break a leg probably? that was the only smut fic i wrote this year. 

Most “holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story: i didn’t really write anything holy shit level of terrible this year. born to live, made to die has its moments and the premise of passing on a parasite is that one for all is sentient and isn’t good, so maybe one of those? 

actually just realized that the most disturbing thing that i’ve written this year is a wip that i’ll probably post in a week or two. so. there’s that.  Most challenging to write:

either born to live, made to die because of the crazy intricacies of balancing so many povs that sometimes blend into each other and trying to keep up with my own complicated plot or hers, not his because that fic shifted into an 18k monster that looked nothing like my original vision for it. 

Biggest disappointment: maybe riza get your gun? i expected to enjoy the gimmick of mixing riza hawkeye’s character with annie oakley a lot more than i did.  Favorite character to write:

i really enjoyed writing catra and the entire cast of the good place. and honestly... writing bakugo is a joy. what a delightful dick. 

Favorite opening lines:

The people love Kid Flash. (heavy is the head that wears the cowl) 

 One For All is a blessing until it isn’t. (passing on a parasite) 

Bakugo Katsuki is six years old and she hates this stupid game. She hates this stupid boy and his stupid house and his stupid, shitty face. She wishes her mom hadn’t dragged her over to his stupid, shitty house in the first place. (knights in shining armor)  Favorite closing lines:

She'd have to come out and figure out everything surrounding that, all the problems that she never confronted because she had never seriously considered stepping out of the closet because she was afraid of how people would react. But she's thinking about it now. What if she didn't care what people thought as much? What if she just let herself be? She thinks that whatever she'd let herself be, it's someone who likes looking up at the stars, laying next to Bakugo Katsuki. Acknowledging that Ochako herself is fierce and beautiful, nuanced and complicated, and that no matter what, she enjoys this girl's company, that she likes her in ways she's never really wanted to. Maybe she's ready to try something like that. The only way to the stars is through difficulty, after all. (Ad Astra Per Aspera) 

For a moment, they’re just a pair of dumb teenage boys, laughing about shitty shit jokes so that they don’t cry. Really, when it comes down to it, they’re just two kids suffocating under the weight of their masks. (heavy is the head that wears the cowl) 

She’s Todoroki Sango. She can fight her own battles. She can slay her own demons, and she can end up happy too. (Hers, Not His) 

Other favorite lines:

Now that they are all grown and there are no more curses, kissing doesn't have to mean true love or death do us part if they don't want to. (Dream Boy) 

She’s Dr. and she’s Mrs. and she’s a young girl in Estonia and she’s an old psychic and she’s alone and she’s together and she’s an almost mother and she’s old and she’s young, all at the same time. Persephone Poldma is everything and nothing all at the same time. (wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff) 

Really, getting pushed off the side of a bridge by a super villain is perfectly fine when Wonder Woman flies off the edge and catches you in her arms. (Wonder Women)

She just needs the idea to be planted in his mind.

The soil is less hostile now, nourished by guilt. Perhaps it will grow this time. (Born to Live, Made to Die) 

“They’re friends,” Deku says, “if they break up, it could mess up the whole equilibrium of our friend group. Our fragile friend group ecosystem may be destroyed!” Was she being overdramatic? Yes. Did she care? No. (gays of a feather)

Then, she whispers the next part into Adora’s ear, “I can rewrite her memories too. I could let you two have that fairy tale romance that you always wanted. All you have to do is say yes.” Adora sees the image in her mind clearly, she and Catra dancing at a ball, Catra dapper and charming in a perfectly fitting suit. There’s a tension to their dancing- they were enemies in the memory, but Shadow Weaver changes the picture.  (Rewrite) 

[angel-gidget]

Fire At My Feet Again (Tim/Cassie, post-Red Robin)

Title:  Fire at my Feet Again Fandom: DCU, Teen Titans, Red Robin (preboot)     Rating:  PG-13 | Words: 4.6K  | a03 link Summary: Tim and Cassie have been assigned to mentor the upcoming new version of Young Justice. Cassie isn’t drunk enough yet to process this turn of events properly. But if she has her say, with Tim’s help, she soon will be.

Set a handful of years after Red Robin. Contains miscellaneous comic references including 90’s YJ. Yet also borrows an element or two from the Young Justice cartoon. Bc I do what I want. Also unbeta’d. Bc impatience.

Note: Also using this fic to fulfill prompts/days 1-3 of Tim Drake Week (First & Lasts, Childhood & Adulthood, Dreams & Reality) bc this sucker took me long enough that I say it counts and I’d like to catch up.

The déjà vu was murder. Cassie wanted to scream at the Justice League that they had the wrong girl, she wasn't a MENTOR, if anything, she was still a MENTEE, but Tim was standing right next to her, giving his Serious Business head-nod, and Cassie realized that if she did, in fact, start screaming at the JLA, she wouldn't be screaming at strangers.

Because screaming at Aquaman and Superman and Batman was one thing, but the NEW Batman was once Nightwing and she didn't really like the idea of screaming at him. She would also be screaming at Vic, who was her friend. And--sweet Hera--she had FRIENDS in the JLA. You're a grown-up now, Cassie. You're a MENTOR now, Cassie.  So is Tim, for that matter. Hell. She didn’t want to admit out loud how familiar it was. How, in the last days before she gave up the Titans, she’d had trouble remembering the names of multiple team members; they had come and gone so quickly. So playing chaperone to a bunch of kids she didn’t know was actually way more familiar of a feeling than it ought to have been. But they weren’t asking her and Tim to be team leaders. They were asking her and Tim to play Red Tornado to their new batch of kids. Not to lead. Just to make sure they didn’t break anything. To help them with reporters.  To save their asses if things got out of hand. To be around if they wanted advice. "You start on Monday." Vick told them. "We start on Monday." Cassie repeated in a daze. When the rest had left, and it was only her and Tim, the feeling that it was real began to press on her lungs. "We start on MONDAY. Oh God." "Cassie? Are you o--Um. I can do it. You don't have to help. I--" "Do you remember what we were like?! You'll need my help. WE may need help. What if they have their own Kon? What if they have their own BART?" "Or Slo-bo." "Oh God." "It'll be okay. They're just as likely to have their own Secret, somebody they'll band around to protect. Or their own Anita, who can radiate reason. Or their own YOU, somebody smart who can represent the team and keep them in line. Ultimately, they'll be themselves and we can just give them the benefit of the doubt. It'll be okay." Maybe it was the truth of his words, or the blatant compliment, but Cassie did feel herself begin to calm down. This wasn’t history repeating itself. It was just a few parallels here and there. And the history wasn't all that bad anyway. When did she get so good at only remembering the rough parts? "I'm good. I swear I am, but I think I need a drink." Tim's smile was weird. Like he was about to be nostalgic, but it was 50/50 whether it was going to be a good idea or not. "I know just the place." She half-expected him to take her to the same zany hole-in-the-wall they went to for his 21st birthday years back, but he surprised her with a Gotham spot she had never seen before. It was kind of on the (conventional) sporty side, and kind of posh. Not really the sort of place she had expect him to go. "This was my dad's favorite place." Cassie shook her head to clear it. She could count on her hand the number of times Tim has talked about his dad with her, and four times out of five, he had been in tears while doing it. "Do you remember Klarion?" Tim asked. "Bum, bum, bum… The witch boy." She wanted to slap herself for completing the obnoxious little tune on autopilot, but decided not to be too hard on herself. It WAS catchy. "Well, when he had us stuck in adult bodies, I got the bright idea that I should go check on my dad in his natural environment." "There is no way that went well." Tim nodded, "He said I reminded him a bit of his son, and he invited me to sit down and have a beer with him." Cassie felt a smirk coming on. "And you had never had a beer in your life." "Correct. I spit it up all over him. And he never learned that the weird guy who chilled with him and wrecked his night was me.”

Cassie chuckled, “So, do you want a beer?”

“Hell, no. Can’t stand the stuff.” It might have been the funky lighting, but as Tim scratched the back of his head, she could swear he was blushing.

“Me neither. Good thing we’re old enough to admit it. Hey bartender!”

Cassie waved at the old man behind the counter. He seemed to be hard of hearing, as he kept cleaning the other end of the bar. She sighed, “Go over the new roster with me.”

“They haven’t got the official—“

“I know you know the biggest candidates for this thing, and I’d like to have a heads up, please and thanks.”

Tim nodded, as he waved his own hand in the old man’s direction to help her out, “Okay. So Lian has already said yes, and if there is a god, she will hopefully end up being team leader…”

Cassie smiled, “Roy Harper’s kid would be good at it. Though Robin will probably fight her for it…”

“Damian will be there under duress. Dick thinks it will be good for him, but the chances are that if he gets out of line…”

“He absolutely won’t listen to you, so I will have to do it. Uhgh.”

Tim gave her a pained laugh, “Thank you in advance?”

Cassie shrugged. She was already beginning to understand why the League was insisting on both of them. There had been some rosters of the Titans that were like that, some deferring only to Robin and some only to Wonder Girl. But by that time, she and Tim had mastered being in-sync to the point that it was a (mostly) doable nightmare.

“Who’s the heaviest hitter we’ll probably have to clean up after?”

Tim steepled his fingers thoughtfully, “That’s a toss-up between Damian’s friend Colin, who is actually an incredibly nice kid, and Jon Kent: our new Superboy-to-be.”

Cassie frowned, “Wait, I thought… what happened to Christopher?”

“You didn’t…?” Tim’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “Um, a lot of things happened to Chris. But when he came home from the phantom zone a few months ago, he… well, it wasn’t like when a Robin gets replaced, but he told me it took a lot of adjusting to the fact that an entire time-line crisis had given him a baby brother that was already twelve years old. Last I’ve heard from him, he’s trying to decide on a new code-name and … well, he’s too old for the team.”

She felt her draw drop. “Chris Kent, who was like barely past my hip last I saw him, is TOO OLD for this team? What the hell?!”

“Cassie, the last time you saw him, I was babysitting him because he was ten. And with the phantom zone, well…”

“Well how old is he n—wait. Don’t answer that. Not until I’ve had whiskey, because this  now officially calls for whiskey. BARTENDER. WHISKEY.” The time for being polite and patient had officially passed.

Cassie cradled her head in her hands as she listened to Tim placate the offended bartender, and modify her order. Apparently whiskey wasn’t specific enough. Apparently the brown-eyed little boy she’d last seen wearing little boy shorts and a cartoon character wristwatch was now too freaking old to join Young Justice 2.0.

“So help me, Tim, if you’ve ordered something crazy-expensive, you are buying.”

Tim sighed, and Cassie felt a twinge of guilt. This wasn’t any easier for him. Hell, it might be harder. She knew Damian always made things harder for Tim.

Cassie was both boggled and somewhat grateful that she didn’t have a new Wonder Girl to contend with. Though, now that she thought about it, it did seem almost a shame for one to be missing from the roster… No.

No, she was still too young to be getting mopey over legacies. Not that she hadn’t always dug the idea of an Amazon legacy, but it was supposed to be, like, a general legacy. Not hers. Not yet. And yet…

“I am buying, and you will like it. I promise. It’s only a little expensive, but trust me that you don’t want the default of anything in this place.”

The next thing she knew, she had a strong-smelling double-shot over ice in front of her. It tasted like honey. If honey weren’t made by bees, but instead made by kangaroos kicking her in the face. She decided she liked it.

“Cassie, you’re supposed to sip that.”

She smirked at him, “I’ll sip the next one. Better hope our tab’s on your platinum card.”

He snorted, but didn’t really protest, taking a taste of his own glass.

She observed him.

He closed his eyes and tilted his head as he drank, though not with the speed of someone rushing a shot. It took the shadows off his face for a moment, so she could clearly see the tiredness around his eyes and the faint stubble around his jaw. She faintly recalled that said stubble had come very late in life to him. At the very tail-end of puberty.

She remembered that the first time she had kissed him—mourning Kon’s death in a sea of shattered glass in the Titan’s sublevel—the line from his cheek to his adam’s apple had been completely smooth.

Don’t go there, Cassie.

That was a long time ago, Cassie.

“So… um. So how’s Kon taking the whole codename thing?”

Tim shrugged, blinking his eyes open as he continued to hold the glass near his lips. “You know about as much as I do. He can’t decide what to pick. That is, he agrees that he’s years overdue to shelve “Superboy”, but replacing it is giving him conniptions.” Tim gestured the bartender back to refill her glass.

“That’s about what I know,” Cassie conceded, “But somehow, you always know a little more. So spill.”

As promised, she sipped the next glass. Sipping was like getting kicked by a baby honey-making kangeroo. It was still pretty damn good. She raised her pinky jokingly, which finally got a smile out of Tim that went up to his eyes as he spoke.

“He’s actually been trying to pick Chris’s brain on the matter. While Kon can hardly think of anything, Chris’s knowledge of Kryptonian language and mythology is giving him a ton of ideas and he just can’t choose.”

“Yeah, well. Kon’s gonna have to get used to choosing names in general. And soon.”

Tim’s puzzled expression stopped her cold.

“Oh Hera. He hasn’t told you yet.”

Tim similarly froze, “He… told me there was something he though he’d tell a lot of people in person. Said it wasn’t bad news. But with his new off-world mission, and how, um, busy we both will be… “

Cassie nodded. If Kon wanted to protest, he could blame her.

“M’gann is pregnant.”

It was always fun: managing to surprise Tim with something he’d clearly had absolutely no clue about beforehand. So fun. So rare. He was even choking a bit on his own drink.

“You’re serious. Kon’s going to be… a dad?”

“Totally.”

“Wow. He’s got to be over the moon. Both in a happy and terrified way. I’ll be an honorary uncle. Heh…”

He went serious then, totally quiet. Sometimes Cassie didn’t dig the reminder that she didn’t really have the full specs of the brain of Timothy Drake. But then again, did anyone?

She held back a tiny flinch as Tim set down his drink and put his hand over hers…

“Are you okay?” he practically whispered.

“Yes…?” she mimicked his low voice.

“Because I know you’ve never liked talking about how things ended, but it’s alright to…”

Gears clicked into place.

“Omigod. Tim. I’m fine. Kon and I are both totally over each other. Promise. Seriously, have you been worrying about that for the past five years?”

His face didn’t turn red, but his ears did.

“Hey, you wouldn’t talk about it, okay? And Kon may be my best friend, but… he’s not my only best friend. You and Bart… you can’t think I love you any less. Do you?”

Holy shit. The L-word. From TIM. In a totally platonic sense, of course.

As it should be, Cassie.

She knew Tim had been trained to resist truth serum and torture since his Robin days. Apparently, his own taste in alcohol was considerably more effective if it could get talk of actual feelings out of him.

Focus, Cassie. He asked you a question.

“I know you love me.” She squeaked.

A distinctly fraught look pulled his eyebrows together, and it occurred to Cassie that her assurance didn’t sound very believable.

So she tried again, “I’m serious. I don’t mean that in whatever placating double-meaning Bat-way you guys usually communicate in Gotham. I mean it. I know. You love me. I love you too.”

Those burning ears of his were back, but at least the distressed twist to his forehead had gone away. And that… Cassie knew she’d said enough. Her brain knew, anyway. Her tongue didn’t. “If… if a burning building had you and my mom inside and I only had time to save one, I’d save my mom because she didn’t sign up for the life we did. But I’d be every bit as devastated over losing you as if I had lost her.”

What the hell, Cassie?! Dark escalation much?

She spared a glance at her drink as though it had betrayed her. Was she on glass number two or number three?

Tim just snorted with a smirk, “Me too.”

He took another sip, which seemed to oddly sober his face again, “Though… I’d probably be more devastated if it was you. I… I sometimes wondered if there was something wrong with me considering how fast I recovered from my mom’s death. We weren't  close. I… I wanted us to be. So much. But we weren’t.”

Cassie held her breath. She… she had known that Tim’s mom was out of the picture. That when his dad died, that was it. Officially one of Batman’s orphans. But she’d never…

Apparently, it was Tim’s turn to look at his drink as though it were up to shady behavior.

“I’ve never admitted that out loud to anybody. Not in so many words, anyway.”

They both let the silence breathe a moment, before Cassie tentatively let her curiosity get the best of her.

“What was her name? Wanna tell me about her?”

Tim didn’t look her in the eye, preferring to keep his gaze pinpointed on the single oversized ice cube in his glass, but he nodded.

“Her name was Janet. She um…” A tiny strange grin quirked the side of his mouth and he finally looked up at her through messy black bangs, “Remember that time when your mom invited me and Bart to dinner with you, and she complained for half an hour about the ‘jet-set’ archaeologists who have all the money but half-assed dedication to historical findings? Who are all about the fun and polish?”

“Um, yes?”  Oh gods. Helena Sandsmark’s fifth favorite rant topic. She had hours of material on the unfairness of wealthy socialites’ interaction with the archaeology scene. Cassie always died of embarrassment anytime someone she knew was exposed to even a fraction of it.

“My mom was one of those.”

Cassie slumped in her chair, beginning to feel her own ears turn red.

“Oh gods, I’m sorry—”

And Tim giggled. Giggled. It was… stupid but nice and he kind of sounded like he hadn’t taken in quite enough oxygen at first to do it properly.

“Don’t be, Cass. Your mom didn’t say anything that wasn’t true. I wasn’t mad. It was… nice remembering her. She was spoiled, but in a classy kind of way. At least, that’s what my dad would say about it. But he might have been biased. Considering.”

“Considering.” Cassie let a relieved giggle of her own slip.

The silence that followed wasn’t a bad one. She eventually realized that Tim was faintly tapping on the edge of the bar to the tune of the music softly playing over he speakers, though she didn’t recognize the song.

At some point in their conversation, he had let go of her hand, and she tried not to overthink her awareness of that. She also tried not to overthink the fact that she was mentally listing the different ways she might get him to put it back.

She was startled from carefully not contemplating these things when his finger tips continued tapping, but this time against her own fingers lingering on the bar. She saw an expectant expression on his face, and it took her a moment to realize that the music had changed.

Cassie’s eyes widened. Was that.. Mmmm Bop? It was. The one hit from that stupid band that every member of Young Justice has solemnly sworn to hate into eternity was dancing over the speakers.

Some members, however, had been lying through their teeth when taking said oath.

Cassie had been one of them. Apparently, so had Tim.

Their moment of mutually tapping to forbidden tunes was interrupted as the old bar keep slammed a giant pink drink in front of Cassie’s nose.

“From th’ gentleman.” The man muttered, tottering away.

Cassie frowned. Tim seemed to be on the case, however, as he made a subtle pointing down the bar. She looked over her shoulder and saw the guy. He was tall and broad, with a lear and patch of scruff on his chin that reminded Cassie of Tim’s old Mr. Sarcastic disguise. Just… without the sarcasm. His target of choice hadn’t accepted the drink yet, and he was already elbowing his buddies and preparing to stand.

“He looks like the pushy type to me,” Cassie muttered, “Mr. Detective?”

Tim gave a small sigh, “I’m inclined to agree. How do you want to play this?”

There were a lot of correct choices. Not the least of which was taking the drink and pretending it meant nothing. Making eye contact and firmly pushing the drink away was a fair call too. If Mr. Pushy pushed, well… It would hardly be any skin off her back to return the favor. But a hero was always supposed to avoid escalating the situation or provoking it. Such was the correct choice.

You’re going to be a mentor, Cassie.

Meaning—she replied to the voice in her head— that if she was going to do something wild and on the side of crazy, it had to be tonight. So, she grabbed Tim’s hand and whispered in his ear.

“Pretend to be my boyfriend.”

His eyes went comically wide for a fraction of a second, but the next instant, he was giving her a succinct nod of the head.

She felt his fingertips slide up to her jaw, pinpricks of cold from the condensation of his drink. She barely registered the procession from one moment to the next as his lips were suddenly touching hers.

Barely touching. Very lightly.

But staying. Not a peck.

Rather, a quick brush followed by a very slow second brush.  

Her eyes slipped closed, acknowledging that the feeling was nice, if unexpected.

She held still everywhere save her mouth, mimicking his movement until she could breathe in the honey-tang from his breath instead of her own.

She then set her icy fingernails against his cheek, as was only fair.

He gave a quick inhale that let her know she had startled him back.

“Two for flinching.” She chuckled against his mouth.

In an instant, she wanted desperately to see his expression, but he ducked his head to whisper in her ear again.

“Why go back to competing when we’ve gotten so good at teaming up?”

Tim thought he was so clever sometimes. She wanted to agree and roll her eyes at the same time. She was about to reply when something in the shift of his shoulders told her they had trouble.

“What is it?”

“Pushy Type has strolled out with his friends, but they went around the alley area of the building without grabbing a ride and none of them had car keys.”

Cassie hissed, “They wanna jump us? Are you serious? This neighborhood sucks.”

Tim pulled back far enough that could see his face. There was some uncertainty there that he was doing his utmost to hide, but Cassie was too familiar with it to be fooled by it anymore.

Goddess. He liked it. He liked it as much as I did.

And now he’s wondering if he messed up.

“Tim—“

“I know the corner they’ve picked. No cameras, no witnesses. They’d be… very surprised to not have the advantage. We could change into uniform in the restrooms and sneak out the back of the kitchen. It’ll be fun.”

And… he was off. He even left the barstool he’d been sitting on spinning.

Fine.

Stupid bat-birds and their emotional issues.

She’d let him get away with it for now.

——

Two hours later, they stumbled into Tim’s apartment dripping wet, with an unanticipated number of cuts and bruises.

“Fun, you said. We intimidate them and they’ll re-think their life-choices, you said.” Cassie scoffed.

Tim clutched his bruised rib, “I didn’t know C-listers were developing their own knock-off venom pills these days. It’s a recent development.”

His other arm was over her shoulder, keeping weight off his bruised ankle. If knock-off venom could punch her right into him, she didn’t want to think about what the original Bane could probably do.

But it probably didn’t help that they were both a little tipsy. While Tim might not have guessed that Mr. Pushy—who had wanted to be called The Dejector, of all things, yeesh—would be carrying supervillain steroids, they both would have resolved the fight a lot faster if they had both been sober and had their minds off… well.. The Thing they were avoiding talking about.

After they had the perps bagged and tied for the Gotham PD, Tim had decided to play it safe and not drive his motorcycle back. Cassie had similarly decided against flying.

So they had walked.

And then it rained.

Because Gotham.

Cassie carefully set Tim down on his couch. She then followed his directions to find the first aid kit as he began to check himself for damage.

“Just so we’re clear: I’m not actually mad, Tim. Just grumpy. I had plans for tonight. They didn’t involve this many scrapes.”

“I… Oh.” He froze, “I didn’t know I was keeping you. Sorry.”

“You’re not,” Cassie corrected, setting the kit down by his foot and she cinched up the leg of his jeans. (The nice thing about his crazy expensive wardrobe: there was some extra stretch to the denim.) “You were at the center of the plans.”

“Oh.” He tensed again, and Cassie worried for a moment that she had hurt him just by applying ice. But as she looked up, she realized his ears were red again.

Okay, Wonder Girl. Time to be brave.

“Confession time. So… you already know I love you. We got that out of the way. The big secret is that I also might… kinda like you on top of that.”

Tim snorted, but it was with a tiny hopeful smile on his face that quickly smoothed itself out to boarder-line sly.

“Oh really?”

If he was gonna be that way about it, there was no need to be delicate with the application of the ice. He flinched for real.

“Yeah,” Cassie muttered, meeting his eye, “Funny how that works.”

“Funny how it’s mutual.” He panted.

Cassie blinked. “Does this mean we…?”

“If you want.” Tim whispered.

She kissed him.

Sweat, rainwater, scrapes and all. She had wrapped her arms around his neck, and even when she bumped his foot and his leg tensed, he still clutched back.

It was hard to tell who’s idea it was to lean back into the couch. Definitely her idea to start lifting his shirt off. His hair was just long enough that damp tendrils lingered where his neck met his shoulders and she didn’t resist the temptation to run her hands through it. He rolled into the movement like a cat with his eyes closed, and something like déjà vu struck her for the second time that day.

For all that Tim’s everyday body language exuded a polite distance, actually touching him was so very different. Kind of like a sunflower desperate for a hint of light. As if no one had held him for years. Maybe no one had.

Rain still clung to her own hair as well, water droplets shaking loose from assorted strands of her blond hair. They splashed onto Tim’s chest, making him shiver.

She knew he could resist the cold, if he wanted. He could use a simple stretch of his own self control to curb his reactions, but he chose not to. Chose to let her see it, and the thought lit something warm in her chest.

She leaned in close again, feeling her own shirt slide up, enjoying the contrast of warmth where their stomaches touched and cold where their hair got in the way. Tim was the one doing the kissing then, returning to that slow brush he seemed to have perfected, only against her neck instead of her lips. His arms held tight, tighter. And she gladly returned the favor until—

“OUCH!”

His whole body tensed, but Cassie knew it was the foot.

The Achilles Heel, as mom would say.

“Guess it would be more fun to save the rest for when we’re both in one piece, huh?”

Tim sighed, “‘Rest’ implies a finite amount. Was going more for an indefinite sort of plan.”

Cassie grinned.

“I’ll remember that. Now where are your towels, Young Man Wonder?”

He scowled at her, but he gave up the location of the towels. And the location of his popcorn machine. And blankets. And spare pyjamas. And dvd collection.

I could get very used to this.

She was cuddled in his arms on the couch again, but this time calm and dry with antibiotics gently applied to her minor scratches.

“It’s different this time, you know. I can feel it.” She whispered.

Tim stirred beneath her, though he took a moment to speak.

“You mean… us?”

She nodded against his chest, “Us. The vibe of it. The… the kissing. It’s different. We’re different.”

She didn’t have the energy to lift her head, but she felt him nod all the same.

“Last time, we were in a bad place. Now we’re in a good one.”

She smiled against him and trusted that he could feel it, “Even if you have to face down the Damian squad on Monday?”

“It won’t be Damian’s squad. Not immediately, anyway. But yes. Even then. We can do this. Together.”

Cassie threaded her fingers through Tim’s as her eyes fluttered shut for the night.

She believed him.

F.I.N.

[spacewife]

Used (A YJ Chalant Fic)

My first fic I’ve ever published! I did this for @yjficexchange​ for the ‘Mini Big Bang’ event and there’s art to accompany it by @sarahthedragon​ :)

Warnings: slight suggestions of NSFW things (not explicit at all), some swearing, character funeral, angst Pairings: Chalant-centric (Dick x Zatanna), mentions of Spitfire (Artemis x Wally) Word Count: 6,603

Description: Set before and after the events of “Depths” in Young Justice, Dick sets out to do whatever it takes to make this mission a success which may end up with him seriously hurting someone he still cares deeply for. Zatanna has to deal with her feelings for a certain boy wonder and the aftermath of losing her best friend, Artemis. So what happens when she’s told that she was used and lied to by someone she trusted with her life?

“It’s extremely important that this mission stays between the four of us. No one else can know. Understood?” said Dick, stressing his words as if to lend his utterances an extra emphasis.

He looked pointedly at each of the three faces, each one holding a different expression; Kaldur with a seriousness he always had when it came to missions, Artemis; apprehensive but focused and Wally who looked the most concerned despite being the only one not going on this mission. He’d retired and Artemis had too, supposedly. Perhaps he always knew she could never leave this life for good.

“So, how are we going to make Artemis look like a different person exactly? Is there some kind of tech or something?” Wally asked, holding Artemis’ hand just that slightest bit harder.

“I’ve been looking around and I stumbled across something called a ‘Glamour charm’,” Dick explained, expanding a document that looked like an essay, filled to the brim with jargon. “I’m not sure how it works, but I know it works off magic and that we can get one for the mission. It’s a better and safer option to conceal Artemis’ identity.”

He knew he shouldn’t have been-after all, he’d seen a lot of weird crap in his life-but Wally was highly sceptical about some magic charm being entrusted to protect the identity of his girlfriend while she was behind enemy lines and right in the thick of it, too. Artemis sensed Wally’s scepticism and squeezed his hand; a reassuring gesture they had both become accustomed to using.

“If this, whatever it is, is as powerful as it’s sounding, there’s no way Fate is going to give you one that easily, Dick. What then?” Wally voiced his doubts.

“I’m not asking Dr Fate. I’m going to get one from Zee,” Dick replied without missing a beat.

As Wally and Dick discussed the finer details of the plan along with Kaldur, Artemis couldn’t help but begin to feel anxious about the way Dick was going to go about getting what he needed. If this charm was this powerful, she knew Zatanna wouldn’t procur it without knowing every detail. But knowing Nightwing, he would take the secrecy of this mission to the furthest extent he could and as a result, he’d  probably do anything to get what was necessary. That was what worried Artemis. She’d grown close to Zatanna; they were best friends but maybe after this whole thing, Artemis wouldn’t have to worry about being friends with her either. Zatanna had been there for Artemis through so much and now as repayment, Artemis was going to lie to her face, fake her own death and in the process, break her emotionally. Was the mission worth it?

“Artemis, you coming?” Wally called out from the doorway, frowning at the far off look in Artemis’ eyes.

“I’ll…” Artemis trailed off, “I’ll meet you at the car.”

Wally hesitated momentarily but brushed off her odd behaviour and left the rundown warehouse. Artemis walked over to Dick as he said his goodbye to Kaldur and felt the nervous pit in her stomach deepen.

“Dick?”

Dick turned and immediately noticed Artemis’ anxious mood. She wrung her hands over and over in front of her and her head stayed slightly bowed, eyes trained on her boots. But with a loud exhale, she looked up and made eye contact with a slightly confused Dick.

“You’re not getting cold feet are you? Because you should save it for yours and Wally’s wedding day,” he joked, taking pride in the bright red colouration across Artemis’ face.

She shoved him in the shoulder, scoffing at even the idea that her and Wally would be married. But there was no conviction behind it; she didn’t mind the idea so much.

“No, you idiot. It’s just-” Artemis paused.

There it was again. There was this lump in her throat that appeared when she thought about what she was going to do and what she was going to do to her friendship. It was a mixture of feelings; concern, fear, anxiousness.

Artemis took a deep breath in and tried again. “You’re not going to tell ‘Tanna about this, are you?”

He didn’t need to speak for her to know the answer. Of course he wouldn’t tell her.

“Artemis, you know I can’t,” he sighed.

“What are you going to tell her then? I mean, you’re going to have to tell her something to get that charm off her. It’s not like you’re together anymore,” Artemis pointed out.

Dick flinched the smallest amount but it didn’t go unnoticed to Artemis’ trained eyes.

“Zee trusts me. Don’t worry about that, I’ll get the charm,” Dick reassured confidently.

“I’m not worried about the charm. I’m worried about Zatanna, Dick. She’s my best friend and faking my death is going to ruin her. I know you two broke up, but don’t push her away. You have to be there for her when I can’t be. You better be there for her because if I find out that you weren’t…” Artemis stopped, leaving her threat unfinished but the point was there.

“It’ll be fine. Zee will be fine once all of this is over and she finds out that the mission went well with her help. It won’t matter then whether she knew about it or not,” stated Dick, cutting off any further discussion.

Artemis nodded unsurely, instinctually knowing that something was off with the brash ending. She didn’t pry any further and bid her farewell. She could still feel the lump in her throat and prayed that there would be something to salvage when she came back.

Cursing in every possible language she could muster, Zatanna slammed the ancient spell book shut and sent a flurry of dust and magic remnants flying into the air around her. She covered her face with her hands and screamed out of frustration, falling backwards into her couch. She screamed until her lungs ran out of air and in all honesty, her scream hadn’t helped much and in fact, had probably alerted her neighbours to call the police to report someone screaming bloody murder. Zatanna had tried everything in her power but every spell, incantation or some magic ritual pulled out from the dustiest of books, had led her to nothing. Nada. Zilch. Diddly squat. She’d been trying for years but every attempt to bring her dad back-to separate him from the Helmet of Fate-had proved fruitless. Zatanna was pulled out of her self-pity wallowing by a knock at her front door and she debated whether or not she could pretend to not be here until the person left.

“Hello? Zee, it’s me,” a familiar voice called out behind the door.

Zatanna’s mood lifted suddenly at the welcome distraction and breathed in deeply. She stood up from her couch, a bit more energy in her step, and surveyed her messy apartment. It hadn’t looked so messy while she was nose deep in her books.

Standing in the carpeted hallway, Dick pressed his ear to the door without any thought as to how weird it might’ve looked, and listened to the unmistakable sound of Zatanna speaking backwards. Over the years, Dick had gotten pretty good at figuring out her backwards speech and a grin pulled his lips up as he deciphered Zatanna’s cleaning spell. He heard her light footsteps approaching the door and hurried to make himself look like he hadn’t been listening to the door. Like a switch, his charming demeanor was back just as Zatanna opened the door. Dick’s look of surprise was quickly replaced with a coy smirk and it didn’t go unnoticed when his eyes scanned Zatanna from the bottom up. There was something inherently adorable about the blue and black striped bed socks on her feet, the oversized sweater (that Dick swore used to be his) and the lopsided bun on her head that seemed to stay together by some magic. His eyes stopped once they locked on with Zatanna’s matching sly grin and as simple as that, the two ex-lovers fell back into their old ways.

“Hi, Zee,” Dick greeted with his signature boyish grin plastered across his face.

Zatanna gave Dick a once over, smiling coyly, “Hey, Dick.”

She stepped aside, allowing Dick into her apartment which had miraculously been cleaned in the span of a couple of seconds. Her apartment was just as homely as the last time Dick had been here; the open living room and kitchen gave it the illusion of more space than it had and there was a sweet smell in the air that made Dick’s mouth water. Zatanna walked past Dick into the kitchen while his gaze landed on an old and dusty, leather-bound book covered in intricate silver carvings of a different language.

“Would you like a drink, boy wonder?” Zatanna called out with her head in the fridge.

Dick sighed and rolled his eyes, “Zee, I haven’t been Robin in ages.”

Zatanna emerged from the fridge and shrugged at Dick’s complaint.

“Too bad, boy wonder,” she said, sipping her glass of water with an evident smirk on her face.

Dick shook his head, unable to stop the smile pulling up at the corner of his lips. It was like old times; playful and flirty just like they were. Zatanna fussed around in the kitchen, trying to put together food for her unexpected guest. Dick made himself at home on a stool at the breakfast bar and noticed the scarcely supplied first-aid kit lying open on the counter. He frowned and observed Zatanna closely. He noticed the cuts on one hand pulled together by butterfly stitches and the edge of a white bandage sticking out from the bottom of her pyjama shorts. The whole scenario became reminiscent of the times Dick had stayed over; waking up to Zatanna covered in as many injuries as he had and flitting around the kitchen to make her ‘specialty’-her post-mission breakfast (or brunch depending on the time of day they had woken up). There was a longing in Dick’s chest, somewhere buried behind a mountain of other factors and stresses in his life. It kind of made him regret ending things with Zatanna.

“Rough night, Zee?” Dick asked.

Zatanna snorted, “Who knew demons could be so mean?”

Dick raised an eyebrow, wondering if he had missed some big League mission, “League?”

“Personal, actually,” Zatanna mumbled.

There was a heavy pause between them while Zatanna mixed something in a bowl. Dick wanted to ask-he really did-but something about the way her face gloomed answering him told him it was probably best to leave it at that.

“So,” she said, dragging out the sound, “what’s got you coming all the way out here to my humble abode anyway? You couldn’t make it to the Watchtower?”

“I prefer intimate visits,” Dick answered cheekily.

Zatanna’s sly smile returned at Dick’s response and as quickly as it came, the small amount of tension left. Dick cleared his throat and decided to just rip the band-aid off.

“I need a favour from you, Zee,” Dick said slowly, testing for Zatanna’s reaction.

Zatanna cocked an eyebrow, letting Dick continue.

“I need a Glamour charm for a mission.”

Zatanna waited for a second; she waited for the laughter or for a sign that Dick was joking. But his face stayed serious. She ran her hands across her face, attempting to process what he’d just said.

“Why on Earth would you ever need a Glamour charm, Dick?” Zatanna mumbled into her hands.

Dick scratched the back of his awkwardly and avoided her eye peeking out over the top of her finger.

“I…I can’t tell you about the mission, Zee. I’m sorry. It’s just…” he trailed off.

Zatanna rolled her eyes.

“Of course it is. ‘It’s a secret, Zee’. Everything’s a secret with you,” she said bitterly, a slight annoyance to her tone.

A tense silence fell over the apartment. Zatanna gripped the edge of the counter, tapping her nails against the marble surface. Dick shifted in his seat, making it puff as the air inside shifted around. Even after all these years, Dick couldn’t tell what was going on inside Zatanna’s head right now. She looked deep in thought; her eyebrows creased towards the middle and her lips pursed and tilted upwards slightly. Somewhere in the room, the clock ticked over another hour and the fridge hummed quietly as the cooling system whirred to life. Zatanna let out a heavy sigh. Dick reached across the marbled surface and placed his hand over her clenched fist. She looked up and her eyes looked…tired; like she was carrying a weight no one else could fathom.

“Zee, do you trust me?”

She tried to find a lie in those blue eyes. She really tried. But, she couldn’t find even the smallest hint of a lie. All she could see was the bright, cheeky glint only slightly dulled by age and experience. She saw Robin; her Boy Wonder. She saw the man who’d carried her through so much grief  and the man who’d been her lover-the man she loved. Well, the man she still loved. As much as Zatanna knew that he was a damn good liar, she couldn’t find it in herself to go looking for it anymore. So, she nodded. Her chest tightened at the charming smile he gave her and she suddenly became acutely aware of the comforting warmth of his hand over her own. Yeah, those kinds of feelings never did go away.

Zatanna was almost sad to see Dick gather his things and head out the door of her apartment but she’d missed him-as a friend or more, she didn’t know. Hours had elapsed since his arrival and for the first time in a long time, she felt caught up with the happenings of the Team. Sure, she had Artemis to give her the gossip but that was different; it was nice to hear it from a different perspective. Zatanna leant against the door, propping it open with her back and whistled lowly as Dick walked away with his back to her. Hey, sue her for appreciating the fine artwork that was Dick Grayson.

Dick chuckled and turned, “Zee, dinner tomorrow night? We should catch up some more and maybe I can change your mind about that charm?”

Zatanna rolled her eyes, shaking her head slightly with a laugh.

“Dinner?”

Dick nodded, pressing the elevator button. Deep down, he knew what he was doing and the intentions he planned underneath the innocent offer of dinner. He knew it was wrong. He knew that if she ever found out, if Artemis didn’t shoot him in the head, Zatanna would probably send him to Hell (literally). But he had to.

“Just dinner,” he promised, crossing over his chest with his finger.

“It’s never ‘just dinner’ with you, Dick,” Zatanna called out.

She laughed at the mock offence he took at her comment. He stepped into the awaiting elevator but stuck his head out.

“So?” Dick grinned.

Zatanna sighed, “Fine. But just so you know, you’re still not innocent.”

“You love me, Zee! I’ll pick you up at six!”

As the elevator began to descend, Zatanna could hear the faint remnants of his laughter echoing up the elevator shaft and sighed longingly. If only he realised how true his words were.

There was a fond, almost envious, smile on the restaurant host’s face as he watched Dick and Zatanna head out into cool night with their arms linked. It was always nice to see a young couple who looked so in love. Except they weren’t a couple-not anymore, anyway. Zatanna leaned her head against Dick’s shoulder, absorbing the ridiculous amount of warmth that radiated off his body. He didn’t flinch or bat an eye at the gesture, instead, he found it rather nice. Zatanna recognised the familiar streets; she’d been past them and on them all those times she’d spent in Dick’s apartment. It was where they were both headed now. Neither of them felt compelled enough to go their separate ways after dinner. It had been a long time since either of them had had any free time to be around friends or do something that didn’t involve their ‘other’ lives. Zatanna was preoccupied with the League and her day job as a performance magician and still looking for a way to free her father. And if Dick wasn’t helping with Batman or the League, he was kept busy looking after the Team. Artemis barely had time to spend with Zatanna for girls’ night, split between schoolwork and living a normal life with Wally; it was something Zatanna wished for on the days she felt alone. But, tonight was what she needed. She needed a break, a distraction, someone to take her away from her work and it didn’t even matter to her that she could see where tonight was headed-it was probably another sleepless night but perhaps, in the best way possible.

“Do you ever wonder what would’ve happened if you had joined the League when they offered it?”

Dick was startled by the sudden question. Of course he’d thought about it before, imagined how different his life would be if he had joined the League and how different they would’ve been. Maybe they would’ve stayed together and maybe nights like these would’ve been more often.

Dick mumbled, “Do you mean what would’ve happened to us?”

Zatanna laughed, covering the fact that she was panicking internally. She wondered if he’d caught on to the truth about how she really felt about him and the fact that, after so long, they had never gone away. The rest of the walk back to Dick’s apartment was in a comfortable quiet; neither of them feeling a need to fill the silence with sound. His apartment hadn’t changed much since the last time she had been there. It was still just as messy but with a few new additions of the houseplants that lined his kitchen window. Zatanna felt a sense of home in his apartment, but she probably shouldn’t have. The last time she had been here was the time she’d come over to drop off files for Dick to give to Bruce. She’d waltzed in through the unlocked door-a habit she had gotten approval for-right into a very intimate moment between him and Barbara. It wasn’t a fun memory for Zatanna. She strolled over to a framed photo on the small dining table and smiled fondly. Carefully, she picked up the photo and looked over it. It seemed so long ago but she remembered it was the first official Team photo after Zatanna joined it; everyone looked so young and happy. She sensed Dick’s presence behind her and his hand reached around to take the photo, setting it back down on the table. His hand gently brushed her arm before sliding down to her waist, turning her so she faced him.

“That was after we started dating, you know?” Dick said in a soft whisper.

He brushed Zatanna’s hair behind her ear, cupping her face with his hand. She leaned into the gentle touch and sighed happily, almost content. She knew what he was doing but didn’t want it to stop. She knew that once this was over, they’d go back to being ‘just friends’. Why did she want this so much then?

“I’m still not giving you the charm, Dick,” Zatanna said in an almost sing-song manner.

Dick snorted and hoisted her up to sit on the dining table.

“Let’s just forget all of that. I want to focus on you…on us.”

When the sun finally poked through the morning fog, Zatanna had already gotten herself ready to head up to the Watchtower. She admired Dick, still tangled up with the sheets around the bottom of his torso and his legs. His long hair defied gravity and sat in a haphazard bird’s nest on his head. Yeah, it didn’t help her get over her feelings for him but it didn’t hurt either. Walking across the floorboards, each and every step Zatanna took squeaked under her feet but Dick remained dead asleep to the world. She took a deep breath and set down a black, leather jewellery box on the bedside table with an air of finality. She hoped her gift would go to something worthwhile. As a final, more personal touch, she pressed her lips firmly against the folded note and stained the corner of the white paper with her scarlet coloured lipstick; a permanent kiss imprinted onto the paper. There was a longing in her chest to stay with him for just a while longer but the beeping around her wrist reminded her that duty called. Gathering her belongings, Zatanna admired him for just a moment more before her mouth uttered an incantation and she was gone in a flurry of smoke.

Dick reached across his body for a warm body to hold, an automatic reaction, but grabbed at nothing but cold sheets. He peered out through one half-lidded eye and was more than a little disappointed to find Zatanna had long gone. He huffed and rolled onto his back, limbs flailing out from under the sheets. His hand brushed against a piece of paper on his bedside table and he frowned. He turned onto his side and propped himself up on his elbow. Dick almost laughed at the bright red lipstick stain on the corner of the paper and the sheer level of cheesiness Zatanna had obtained. His name was written in the middle of the note as though anyone else would find the note and assume it were for them. Dick glanced at the black box that had been under the note but picked it up cautiously, not wanting to get his hopes up. He sat up cross-legged with the box lying in his lap.

The note read, “Whatever you’re doing, be careful. Thanks for ‘dinner’, boy wonder. Zatanna x”

Setting the note aside, Dick took the box and opened it. He grinned at the gold shimmering charm nestled amongst black suede and made a mental note to thank Zatanna later. As the reality of what it meant to have the charm set in, he felt the guilt start to settle in his stomach like off-date food; heavy, sinking and like a very bad idea. A thought crossed his mind; is this what it felt like to slowly turn into Bruce?

Zatanna couldn’t shake the horrible, twisting feeling in her gut. She had been part way through a mission with the remaining on-world members of the League when she’d gotten the message from Mal; there was an emergency with the Team and she was needed back at the Cave. Something you learnt from being part of the hero business was that emergencies after missions were never a good sign. The computer announced Zatanna’s arrival into the Cave and already she could feel the sombre mood. She hurried to the living room where Mal had said everyone would be but stopped abruptly. No one was speaking above a hushed whisper and not to anyone that wasn’t in their immediate vicinity. A few heads turned to acknowledge the new arrival but only seemed sadder upon realising it was Zatanna who had shown up. She slowly and tentatively walked around people; each of them seemingly in various stages of sadness. But it didn’t seem like it was just sadness, more life grief. The dreadful feeling at the pit of her stomach seemed to sink deeper, as though it were possible, the closer she got to Mal. He was comforting Karen with a hug that engulfed her entire upper body but pulled away from her as Zatanna approached them.

“Mal! What’s going on? What happened?” She demanded, voice rising with worry as she counted heads and realised there were a couple members of the mission who weren’t here.

Mal sighed regretfully and gently placed a hand on her shoulder. She didn’t mean to, but her automatic response was to step back out of reach like it would soften the blow of whatever bad news he was about to give her. She felt sick; a nauseating, sinking feeling that made her want to curl into a ball, hide under her covers and never leave.

“You might want to sit, Zatanna,” Mal advised.

Stubborn and, in all honesty, too scared to move, Zatanna stayed planted to the floor. Her boots forced themselves against the floor, steadying her shaking legs so she wouldn’t fall. Mal looked unsurely at all the desolate faces around him and swallowed thickly, mentally and physically bracing himself to tell Zatanna. There was an apprehensive look across her features and it only worsened the more he waited.

“I-it’s Artemis. I’m so sorry, Zatanna. She-well, something terrible happened and…” Mal inhaled deeply, “Artemis is gone. She was killed by Kaldur on the mission today. I’m sorry.”

For just a millisecond, Zatanna wanted to laugh. She wanted to double over with laughter and then punch Mal in the arm for his horrible joke. She wanted to feel anything else but the crushing vice in her chest that drew all the air out of her lungs; the feeling that had her entire body go cold all at once; the feeling that burned the corner of her eyes and filled them with too-hot tears; the heart wrenching, world crashing feeling of loss that pushed her so far under she couldn’t hear the screaming and wailing until her throat burned. It was her. Her hands clutched at her chest in a hopeless attempt to quell the twisting ache and the burning feeling as she drew in ragged breaths.

“You’re lying!”

There was undeniable anger and grief in her voice at her accusation. Mal took the brunt of it, knowing she meant nothing by it. No one had ever seen Zatanna-their confident, flirty resident magician-so distraught and so completely broken. Rocket approached Zatanna and made an attempt to help her off the ground but the heartbreaking grief kept her seemingly glued to the floor. There was nothing anyone could do to ease the pain. How could you ease the pain of someone who had lost their best friend?

The entire weight of the world appeared to rest on Dick’s shoulders and in a sense, the world’s safety really was dependant on whether the mission was a success or not. But for someone barely at the end of their teens, it was a lot; it took a heavy toll on Dick. He’d gotten the message from Barbara only moments after he watched Wally disappear in a blurry streak. She’d said Zatanna had been headed to his apartment and he expected that he’d have some serious comforting to do. He didn’t expect her to attack him after being in his apartment for a good second or so. The force of Zatanna’s shove to his chest knocked the air out of him and his back stung momentarily from the impact with his front door. If it were any other day, he might’ve laughed but the furious expression etched onto Zatanna’s tear-stained face was the furthest thing from laughable. He opened his mouth, barely wide enough to fit a straw, and all hell broke loose in the form of Zatanna’s anger.

“It’s all your fault! You asked her to do this stupid fucking mission for you and now she’s gone, Dick! Artemis is…” Zatanna’s yelling trailed off suddenly.

Being at the receiving end of someone’s anger had been something Dick had grown accustomed to with his life as a vigilante but Zatanna’s anger was something else; raw in anger and powerful in expression. Maybe it was because she didn’t get angry; frustrated, agitated, pissed-off perhaps but not angry. But the anger fizzled out as soon as it started. Zatanna’s hands shook and the tears started streaming down her face once more. Dick approached her slowly, like someone would approach a wounded animal. As soon as his hand made contact with her arm, Zatanna fell into his chest. Her shoulders heaved with every stuttered breath she took in and her crying turned to gurgles, hiccups punctuating each sound. Dick held her as closely as he could. She was right; it was his fault but not in the way she meant. The two of them stood in the middle of the apartment with their arms around one another and not a single word was uttered. He let her cry into his shirt. He didn’t move. He didn’t try to comfort her with words he knew would be meaningless.

“S-sorry. I know it’s-it’s not r-really your f-fault. I just…” Zatanna breathed shakily.

Dick shushed her, pressing his cheek against the top of her head. He could feel her breathing even out as it fanned across his neck but still, they didn’t pull apart. There was a familiarity between their embrace; a feeling of comfort and security that hadn’t been there for a long time.

“I’m sorry, Zee. I should’ve done…something,” Dick broke the silence, his voice croaky from disuse.

She shook her head against his chest, a silent disagreement to his apology.

“I promised her I wouldn’t let you be alone and I’m going to keep that promise, Zee” he mumbled tiredly.

It was as though everything leading up to today had finally caught up to him. All the long nights, the missions and the lies; all of it crashed down onto him in a wave of exhaustion, pulling him under and deeper. He was tired. He was tired of it all.

The one day it decided not to rain in Gotham was undeniably one of the saddest days. Not even the shining sun could make the mood pleasant. Artemis would’ve enjoyed the sunshine, Zatanna thought. The gathering of heroes, friends and family all dressed in black had dispersed, headed back to the wake but Zatanna was alone. She knelt down by the headstone, her fingers trailing over the engraved letters. Even now, knowing Artemis was buried under a mound of dirt, the whole thing felt surreal. How could someone as badass as Artemis be gone? How could her best friend be gone? Dick turned back and looked forlornly at Zatanna kneeling in the grass by Artemis’ headstone. He felt torn; wanting to give her space to say goodbye but knowing that buried in that plot was just an empty coffin. A familiar hand clapped down onto his shoulder and there was a heavy sigh; a single breath filled with so much guilt.

“Barry told me no one has seen her since…” Wally’s words drifted, unable to find the right term to finish his sentence. “They’re all worried about her. Maybe you should see how she’s doing.”

Dick nodded, adhering to Wally’s advice for once in his life, and walked over to Zatanna. With every step he took, he seemed more and more weighed down by the guilt of everything. There was an internal struggle in his head; should he or shouldn’t he? Would it matter if he told her? There didn’t seem to be an answer that would lessen the blow to Zatanna either way. Dick stopped behind Zatanna and tentatively placed his hand on her shoulder; a gesture reminiscent of the early days only this time, reversed. Her hand came up to hold his wrist as an anchoring point while she cried silently. There was no screaming or wailing; just quiet tears that rolled off her skin like dew off a leaf.

“It doesn’t seem real.”

Zatanna’s voice was unnervingly calm. There was no sign of her grief; her sadness; her heartbreak. She could’ve been reading the morning newspaper in the same tone. Dick expected a tremble or a shake in her voice; not the mellow tone that accompanied her words.

“I’m so sorry, Zee,” he mumbled sincerely.

He wished there were other words except ‘sorry’ to say to her but that was all he could muster. And it wasn’t like he wasn’t sorry; he was sorry for a lot of things. He was sorry for lying to her; for using their past history to get something from her; for putting her through so much grief; for being true to his namesake-an absolute dick. Zatanna could still hear Artemis’ advice to her from the night before she went on this cursed mission; she told Zatanna to take life by the balls before it was too late. The irony didn’t miss Zatanna; it hit her square in the face, actually. Thinking back to that night caused a squeezing pain in her chest and it suddenly got far too crowded in an empty graveyard. She stood, startling Dick, and turned around. Dick frowned at her sudden change in demeanour, unsure of what she was doing. Zatanna squeezed Dick’s hand gently and managed to muster up the smallest glimpse of a smile.

“Give Wally a hug for me?” She asked, taking a step back away from Dick.

As he nodded in response, Zatanna uttered a single word and in the blink of an eye, she was gone.

Out of everything-literally everything-Dick had ever done in his life, this was probably the riskiest and possibly stupidest thing he’d ever done. But he couldn’t take the guilt anymore. He couldn’t stand hearing that every day Zatanna was getting worse and worse. He just wanted her to be better. He’d made it clear at the beginning of planning this mission that once it started, they would only come together again once it was over or in the case of an emergency. This was technically an emergency.

So here they all were; Wally by Artemis’ (or rather, Tigress) side, Kaldur standing apprehensively behind Dick. All four of them stood in front of Zatanna’s apartment and from a distance it looked like friends were visiting the friendly girl who lived in that apartment. Dick raised his hand to knock on the door and it seemed to take an eternity for the distinct sound of knocking to echo down the hallway. Quiet footsteps approached the door and if none of them were mistaken, there was the gentlest sigh from the other side; a sound of defeat. Zatanna opened the door and just the way she looked made everyone feel the accumulating guilt of one another. Her skin was sickly pale, making her face look gaunt and causing the dark circles under her eyes to almost look like bruises. The inside of her apartment was a mess, like someone had ransacked it from top to bottom and the clothes she was wearing were dishevelled and crumpled. There was no remnant left of the Zatanna they all knew and loved; she was covered under all the pain from grief.

“There’s something you should know,” Dick said cautiously, stepping into the apartment.

Zatanna stopped breathing and her eyes widened in disbelief. The past week or so without sleep must’ve been messing with her head; she swore she could see her dead best friend wearing her Glamour Charm standing next to the man who murdered her. Artemis went to take off the Glamour Charm but stopped at the slight shake of Dick’s head. Tentatively, she walked inside with Kaldur and Wally right behind her. Zatanna was too deep in trying to process everything to stop them. The gears in her head slowly turned, screeching and protesting the complex puzzle that had just been presented to her. Artemis opened her mouth to speak, to break the silence, but the words failed to find her. Zatanna could see right through the Glamour Charm’s powers; it was hers after all. She’d created the spell. The gears in her head finally all clicked in place and for the first time in weeks, she felt something other than nothing. The untapped power inside her bubbled to the surface. Books, dirty plates, mugs and pieces of clothing began to rise of their own accord, gravitating towards Zatanna. Her eyes were no longer blue but emitted a yellow glow. Everyone took a step back from her, unsure and afraid of what was happening. Her magics seemed to project outwards from her body, gathering objects from all around the apartment and hovered near her like ammunition ready to be hurled at something.

“How could you lie to me?!” Zatanna cried out.

But the voice that came from her mouth wasn’t Zatanna. It rattled the windows and cracked the glass cups in the sink. It was pure, unadulterated power that echoed behind her true voice.

“Zatanna! Please, we were just trying to…” Artemis stopped.

What had they been trying to do by not telling Zatanna? Protect her? The magic glow around Zatanna faded slowly and the objects around her fell to the floor with gentle thumps. Her feet touched back down onto the floor but the anger didn’t fade. She breathed in deeply, getting in control of her power. Her eyes stayed glue to the floor and she gritted her teeth, grabbing the door and throwing it back with a loud bang.

“I can’t be around any of you right now,” she said quietly, scared that she would lose control again.

Zatanna lifted her head and her eyes, back to her normal bright blue hues, stared at Dick. There was so much hurt behind her eyes; so much distrust. Her face softened and she couldn’t stop the tremble of her lips. She was too angry to be happy that Artemis was alive; too angry to care that none of it had been true-that none of her horrible living nightmare was true; too angry to say anything or look at anyone in the eye. Except for Dick. He knew what we was doing when he came over to her apartment that day. He knew what would happen if he asked her to come back to his apartment. He knew it was never going to be ‘just dinner’. He knew Zatanna trusted him. He knew and still did it.

“And you,” she spat, shoving him by the shoulders, “you used me.”

There it was. The final piece of her heart that crumbled into dust. The crack in her voice and the shaking in her hands was enough for Dick to see that he’d really messed up this time. No longer was it wet anger; anger that was raw and heated. It was a dry anger; cutting words that rubbed salt into open wounds. Zatanna gestured out the door, breathing heavily; she seethed with anger but still, after everything, tried to keep it contained so those around her wouldn’t be hurt.

“Get out. All of you, get out of my house now. Don’t come back, ever.”

Artemis tried to catch Zatanna’s scathing gaze, an attempt to apologise through her actions. But Zatanna stayed glaring at the floor and refused to look at anyone while they filed out of her apartment quietly.

“Zee…”

Zatanna held up her hand, stopping Dick from saying anything else.

“I hope you’re happy, Dick. I hope this mission of yours was worth sacrificing everything we had,” Zatanna seethed, speaking through gritted teeth.

Dick was pushed out into the hallway with everyone else and the door slammed shut, echoing down the corridor. He should’ve known this would be the repercussion to his actions; to his decision. He should’ve known that choosing to act as his mentor did wouldn’t end up in his favour. He should’ve known he’d lose Zatanna; the girl he never fell out of love with. Wally placed his hand on Dick’s shoulder, guiding him to join Kaldur and Artemis. Dick breathed out shakily and trudged along next to the redhead.

“I lost her.”

[jasperarsonaurelia]

Evelyn, to an injured Van : *pulling ducktape* trust me, this stuffs amazing 

[threewaysdivided]

Author Meme

Tagged by @pi-cat000​. Hello to you too!  I'm also something of a lurking digital hermit, but more than happy to interact so feel free to tag me in stuff, send asks or just poke my blog with a stick if you want to chat.

Author Name:  Three Ways Divided across Tumblr, Archive of Our Own and  Fanfiction.net.  Occasionally I do art-stuff and post the High-Res versions to DeviantArt as RedMoonWhiteTiger.

Fandoms You Write For:  Pretty much just Young Justice and Danny Phantom.  I’m involved in other fandoms too but I don’t produce fic-content for them (maybe one day).

Where You Post: For Fanfic:  Started on FFN then began crossposting to Ao3 when I noticed people migrating across to the archive.  Now I simulpost to both, and drop a linked preview here when new content comes out.

For Art:  Any proper finished pieces go to DeviantArt for full res viewing, as well as under #my art here.  Sillier art stuff and WIPS are Tumblr-only.

Other stuff:  Tumblr.  Outside of fic and art the main things I do are long analytical meta-pieces under the #scattered thoughts tag, discussions of writing for the #writing advice tag, and food stuff under #3WD Cooks. 

Most Popular One-Shot:   I only have one official one-shot right now and it’s my DP piece Defining Moment, so I guess it wins by default.

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: There’s something to be said for limited choices - my one and only is, of course, Young Justice: Deathly Weapons.

Favourite Story You Wrote: I have a love-hate relationship with YJ:DW but I’m very happy with how the plan’s coming out so far.

Story You Were Nervous to Post:  I have exactly 2 stories and I wasn’t particularly nervous about posting either - either they’d work or they’d vanish and I’d let them go when my interest ran out.  There are some more out-there concepts that maybe one day might develop into fics, but if they survive workshopping then I’ll at least be confident that they’re not completely devoid of value.  

Right now I’m mostly nervous about ensuring that new YJ:DW chapters live up to the existing material.

How Do You Choose Your Titles:  Typically Wordplay.  If I can find a pun or phrase with double-meanings then I might use that.  Callbacks or references to the source material also work in a pinch. 

For example, “Young Justice: Deathly Weapons” is a reference to YJ’s canon titling style and a play on the phrase “Deadly Weapons” (i.e. lethal weapons) and the word “Deathly” (adj.: resembling or suggestive of death), because dangerous plot involving ghosts.  Several of the chapters and planned chapters have titles that are chemistry references, puns or nods to other series.

Do You Outline:  Do I outline?

You tell me.

Complete:

Unless it’s a one-shot, not for a very long time.  

I do plan my stories with the end in mind but I’m also a compulsively overambitious, overachieving, perfectionist gremlin so there’s a whole lot of content and drafting between here and there.  By a lot I mean an entire half-season of the show.  This one puts the long in long-fic.

In-Progress: 

I have one fic that’s not a one-shot, and I promise I’m still working on it.

Coming Soon: YJ:DW Chapter 17 “Assessment” is 1k from draft completion and getting closer each week.

Do You Accept Prompts: Not really, no.  My writing style typically involves a lot of planning and drafting so I find spontaneous flash-fic hard unless I’m especially inspired.

BUT!  Analysis is my bread and butter so if anyone ever wanted some fic-meta, or analysis of storytelling/ characters or even to pitch a story/scene/trope idea for feedback/suggestions, I can spin out a decent essay-style or research piece quite fast.  My brain is naturally geared towards analytical writing over narrative prose.

“My mind," he said, "rebels at stagnation. Give me problems, give me work, give me the most abstruse cryptogram or the most intricate analysis, and I am in my own proper atmosphere.” - Sherlock Holmes

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write:  Young Justice: Deathly Weapons is actually 12 semi-self-contained story-episodes, at least 2 significant character arcs, a long-running mystery and a bunch of short character essays stacked inside a trench coat and masquerading as a single sane fanfiction, so mostly I’d just like keep on with that.  I also have a few tie-in one-shots, so I’ll be prioritising this series before moving on to any other big projects.

Ideas I’ve been kicking around and may one day write when YJ:DW is closer to done and assuming they survive workshopping:

DP x YJS1 Danny-Dick Brother AU, of which there are three variant ideas for execution

DP x YJS1 dissection-fic in the vein of Unfair Justice

DP x YJS1 literal crossover in which Danny has to leave his universe behind and ends up on Earth 16

DP AU fic - in which the Fenton parents are much worse at parenting, Danny gets his powers a different way and we explore depression, isolation, self-perception, self-hatred and neglect

BNHA fic in which Izuku never gets One For All, tones down the fanboy after realising just how serious the issues with the status quo are and chooses to go into Support instead to change the system from within

Dark Souls one-shot mood piece

Yeah, YJ:DW is more light-hearted than all but two of these, my brain is just a barrel of laughs.

-

Tagging: @lunagalemaster @batmanisagatewaydrug @ao3commentoftheday I would be curious to hear from you if you’re interested and have the time.

If anyone else would like to participate but haven’t been tagged, please consider this your open invitation.

[harley-qt]

So glad you liked it! Here are some more of my favorite Tim Drake fics (naturally added angst):

Cereal Forks has written an AMAZING trilogy about Tim and Dick rebuilding their relationship in the current continuity. Death and the Entire Universe.

Blitzkrieg by vamplamp is a multi-chapter fic where some intruders break into Wayne Manor. Not Tim-centric but still 10/10.

In Time, the Night May Soften is an ongoing collection of one-shots by maychorian that have been Tim-centric. All sorts of good family feels.

audreycritter has written really good Tim fics. My favorites are A Little Bit of Tender Mercy, where Jason helps a sick Tim, and It’s Always Bring Your Robin to Work Day, where the “Bruce is a good dad” part of me explodes every time I read it.

Finally, not completely angst or Tim related but one of my favorite fics of all time, is You Are Cordially Invited by glymr. Taking place sometime at the end of the preboot, Kon hosts a get together with all the original YJ members at the Kent farm.

Hey uh anybody got any good Tim Drake-centric fanfic recs? I really like hurt/comfort or stuff that focuses on his psyche but I’ll read almost anything. In fact, it doesn’t even have to be Tim Drake centric, as long as he’s a major character somewhere in the story I’d be more than willing to give it a read!!!

I’m so desperate you guys you have no idea...

[jasperarsonaurelia]

Jackie, to the freshmans : we don’t use bad words here

Evelyn, in the other room : FUCK!

[jasperarsonaurelia]

Taissa, exasperatedly referring to Travis : who invited him?

Evelyn : I did

Evelyn : I thought we could use him as a human shield

[jasperarsonaurelia]

Evelyn, angrily : ARE YOU-

Nori : fucking

Evelyn : KIDDING ME?! YOU-

Nori : fucking

Evelyn : IDIOT!

Taissa : what was that?

Nori : Jackie banned Evelyn from swearing so I volunteered to help out

Taissa : I think you just like swearing

Nori : that doesn’t make my job any less important

[jasperarsonaurelia]

Misty : no one told you to bring that heavy backpack

Evelyn : nobody told you to bring that nasty attitude either, but I'm stuck with both

[jasperarsonaurelia]

Taissa : what’s your blood type?

Evelyn : how would I know?

Taissa : how would you not?

Evelyn : who am I, Karl Landsteiner, discoverer of blood groups?

Taissa : you don't know your own blood type, but you know who discovered them?