#ff pretzel

[miiints-repostiory]

[dappersheep]

H o h o

i shall take my chances on that request and ask for mary/pretzel fake dating trope if thats okay 👀

You're in luck. I got a hit of inspiration. Might not be Fake Dating to a T but it's there. Enjoy!

sine qua non

[hazeism]

hhadfgjudyfhkghdusk

[chasedeys]

If Ja’marr managed to drag Joe out of Cincy and take an actual break - where do you think he would take him? 🤔

(Im depressed over the loss so I’ve been trying to think of happy scenarios for the pookies)

hiiiii as per usual this got long wkwkk and idk more delusional than usual and i kept being sad abt everything 😭😭 so:

they're on different states currently i'm pretty sure?? joe back in cincy terrorizing the bengals facility and himself there while ja'marr had his usual acupuncture rehab session back in nola and who knows if they're both still there. probably tbh. i fully support them being away from each other lollll take some time away from work after that shitshow and that unfortunately includes your best friend (who you are in love with etc) who is also your coworker!

i imagine ja'marr being on a social media cleanse (thank fuck i hope he doesn't tweet anything please for the love of god i need them all to shut up why do they do this) so he probably doesn't know that joe is at the stadium until somebody (his dad? sister?) mentions it to him and he's all 'of course he is. he's throwing with dan isn't he.' and he gives joe what a day or two to get it out of joe's system before flying his ass to cincy and nagging at the man to stop trying to twist himself up into a pretzel.

for those few days ja'marr does spend himself because he too needs it ja'marr drives all around nola, shoots the shit with some old high school friends, plays in his old hangouts arcades hooping idk does he hoop i think not, eats out with his family, does chores with his mom, eats his body's worth in nola cuisine that sports nutritionists would weep at, etc etc. (also i thought his son lives with his mom lol i thought she takes care of him when ja'marr's busy with the season apparently his bm does it??? but i imagine he'd spend some time with junior too he loves that baby like crazyyy)

ja'marr sends joe random pics of his days, a snap of his mom nagging at him because he keeps putting needless shit into the shopping cart, a random cat wearing a bell on the sidewalk, the setting sun, a cloud shaped like a football, some seafood boil, some old friends of theirs messing up his dining room table, etc etc. joe replies back in short sentences or just ok emojis. ja'marr doesn't take it to heart. several random times joe sends the world's most shittiest one liners for some reason and ja'marr hypes him up while simultaneously telling him he needs help.

would they go to miami and get joe on a boat 🤗 ja'marr probably tested the waters first lmao if joe would be susceptible to some forceful shenanigans outside of his comfort zone. maybe joe would be like sighing and going yeah sure whatever can't hurt at this point and mainly because he himself wants to put a smile on ja'marr's face. maybe it's like that gq magazine clothes saga/get me the fucking ball where joe realizes that ja'marr wants him on a boat with him via the media (talk to each other for the love of god why does ja'marr keep spilling shit to the media unknowingly making joe realize what he wants via said media 'i didn't know i do it through media' baby please. please.) imagining ja'marr trying to be sneaky getting joe on that fucking boat but joe knows exactly what he's doing because ja'marr can't lie for shit to him and joe just telling him to quit it he'll go on the boat with him ffs and trying to hide his smile when ja'marr starts lighting up in surprised joy (experiencing joy because you brought out joy in someone else!!! doing something outside your comfort zone to put a smile on someone's face!!!!)

maybe they'll miraculously show up for another bball game. pretty sure ja'marr only fucks with the lakers lmao so maybe they pop by for an at home la game (back to la....hmm.....or just their away games nvm. they play at suns again on the 27th lol), break bengalsblr for a second time with their 🤨🤨🤨 matching outfits and weirdly first date vibes. maybe joe will finally drag ja'marr to a ufc game for a change! (i don't actually know any ufc matches...google says the nearest is the 23rd and then dec 8th?? idk any of these people 😭)

doing some shopping?? finding more matching outfits specifically shoes bc apparently that's where they their fashion interests intersect?? god bless if ja'marr makes joe wear one of his chunky interesting boots.

museummm dateessss but specifically national history museums or those space science museums or dinosaurs museums or those creepy oddities museum do you think they'd fuck with that probably not tbh. maybe they switch things up do things that ja'marr wants (boats, bball games, etc) and what joe wants (museums, ufc matches, etc) that's so cute wow. but ja'marr waits patiently as joe nerds out on the fossils and gigantic ass 3d planet renditions and those augmented topography booths where they can move sand and it automatically changes the color projections??? ja'marr remembers joe talking abt this shit one time and does his due diligence researching where it actually is and takes the man there. joe looks on fondly as ja'marr gets into it himself because the science museum offers so many interactive shit even he gets excited for it when originally he just took them there for joe.

late night walks that seem supremely out of character tbh. post clubbing (?) but they find they cannot stand crowds that night for some reason so they walk out and just stroll the midnight away. hanging out on some bridge leaning over railings talking about some easy plays, some insane ones they've made and want to streamline, ja'marr shares some of his cute little bathroom mirror post it notes goals for the season, joe shares that he's considering switching up his throwing arm practices, joe says he wants to do some blocking and tackling exercises and ja'marr tells him to shut the fuck up....okay sure but don't actually try to do it in game unless he absolutely has to. drinking shitty corner store bought beers and making stupid little jokes about their mistakes they can finally make light of under the flickering street lights and shrouded moonlight and blood buzzing slightly from shit alcohol. i don't think they've ever actually been in the position where they won't make the playoffs together. last year joe was injured so it maybe doesn't count idk. playing so fucking well together yet not making it is…..befuddling. so maybe they'll spend some time talking about that and coming to terms on it too. (actual verbal communication...hmmm)

breaking into a random community outdoor basketball court and they didn't find any bballs to play with but there's a dilapidated little football (of course there is. sharing a little smile because of course there's a football in a basketball court for them. out of all the courts they could end up in.) for some reason so they throw and catch with little success joe throws for barely 3 yards but they make each other laugh because 'damn jb that's pathetic' 'well maybe you should run and catch it what are you doing just standing there' and then it turns into a little game of tag and joe straight up tries to tackle ja'marr except he's shit at tackling and ja'marr never goes down on first contact but he lets joe bring him down and they just end up caking their stupid expensive clothes with dust and dirt with lightly scratched elbows and shins, staring up at the night sky with barely any stars, the street lights irritating their peripheral vision, limbs slightly grazing each other's, finally quiet and settled, barely fidgeting like they've been doing these past few weeks.

they both send stupid little snaps (do they use snapchat??? or just instagram ig) to tee who replies back cursing at them for not inviting him. they pop by his place literally the minute he replies that because technically they're just waiting for an 'invite'.

little family get together where joe finally gets to eat the chase family seafood boil??!!?!?!? the chases comforting him too :( they should go to a pet kennel (??? what are these called omg im too tired to search 😭) and pet some dogs and cats for therapy tbh

before joe goes back to spend more time with his fam and ja'marr with his and whatever shit they want to do apart before back to the reality of practices and season games, they watch the la film together. nitpick on each other's game. apologize for their mistakes once and move on with improvements.

in all honesty if i was remotely aware what places to go to in america that would fit these two this'll be a longer list but well

but wait sorry if i can just yap a bit for the team as a whole ngl i think everyone being away from literally everybody in the team would be good for everyone as whole (yes even joemarr from each other and god why tf is joe in the facility ffs) like just keep to yourselves and stay the fuck off twt and ig jesus these dramatic ass men have they never heard of a 2nd acc or even a burner account. like stay with your family and recharge for at least 2 days idk 3 or a whole damn week actually then come back greet each other like you love them and let go of your baggage and start getting your shit together for real. the vibes are terrible it's so confusing you were THE team the past 3 years and the vibes changed to SHIT starting literally WEEK 1 that i believe is from the jamarr contract debacle suddenly playing game 1 and the entire thing finally got put to rest by ja'marr himself (as he should! the thing about joe and ja'marr is they fix their shit! they know they made mistakes and they actually fix it!! he knows the contract stumps his joy from playing so he left it behind and got his groove back literally scored 2 tuddys the next game). but i do hope they all learn how to navigate each other again and actually work together as a team and better their communication. it's kind of funny that they went on that bonding trip only to have the worst bench vibes that same game 😭. snapping at your teammates is normal tbh but letting that shit keep on festering without actually making an effort to fix it is just cancerous and on whatever miracle hail mary some of them still believe they can make the playoffs needs to start there. and maybe some audacious change in play calling lmao just try anything at this point.

ok bye hhh

[brawltogethernow]

I actually misremembered who made the suggestion; this is @heyyoufriendthere (orange⬇️)'s fault. Plaintext with annotations below the cut.

This is the very picture of an intellectual rights fracas Comics will warp to be like films as fast as you can say "huzzah" But when a megamonopoly swallows up the competition It yanks our blorbos back and forth in an ugly retcon perdition When only Fox can make a movie about the Fantastic Four, The Disney-owned comic office will shove the Four right out the door Until the Disney studio absorbs those rights and then you'll find The comics are suddenly awful sorry they left them behind(1) Then in the instant comic fans begin to cheer an awful lot The news comes in from Bleeding Cool(2) the writer is that fucker Slott(3)

Oh yes when comics warp to be like films and leave you quite agaw This is the very picture of an intellectual rights fracas

When Disney didn't have the rights to film the X-Men and their friends The Inhumans were their idea to have that same magic again But absolutely nobody could give a damn about their deal There was a gas or something uh, the Moon? Nobody cares get real EXCEPT for Ms. Marvel, the only Inhuman breakout success They want her all over the screen at excited public behest Oh yes when comics warp to be like films and leave you quite agaw This is the very picture of an intellectual rights fracas For years the MCU was not allowed to say the word "mutant" They twisted themselves into pretzels out to recoup every cent The silver screen had two Quicksilvers purely for dumb spite reasons With roots in even dumber masturbatorial rights reasons(4) Wanda and Pietro had their sixth or seventh origin retcon(5) To fit the "No More Mutants!"(6) edict corporate decided upon Then Disney bought the M word back for 73 billion bucks (A number that should make you want to strangle all these greedy fucks)

Oh yes when comics warp to be like films and leave you quite agaw This is the very picture of an intellectual rights fracas

Now suddenly it's mutant city all over the comic line They let the X-Men start a sex cult; also they can never die With no need for Inhumans they admitted that they're pretty cringe And nobody will ever give their lore a proper reading binge The MCU made Kamala a mutant like immediately Faster than you can say "bad adaptation" or "brand synergy" In short order the comics gave her the murderization hook In such a hurry it wasn't even in her own fucking book(7) Now big surprise she's coming back on the fucking sex cult island They gave it less than one whole month before they played their fucking hand So Kamala's a mutant now(8) and got a shitty mourning book(9) Which when she's coming back NEXT MONTH you might call a pretty bad look

IT'S TRUE WHEN COMICS WARP TO BE LIKE FILMS AND LEAVE YOU JUST AGAW THAT IS THE VERY PICTURE OF AN INTELLECTUAL RIGHTS FRACAS

~ (1) "At the time, we were told that the Fox-licensed X-Men books weren't to be cancelled as they made too much money for the publisher, but the FF as a middling sales solo title could be missed without hurting the bottom line."

From 2014, when Fox was preparing its 2015 release of Fant4stic, until Disney's film branch recovered the rights by absorbing Fox, the FF were conspicuously absent from comics. The Fantastic Four book was discontinued for the first time since 1962 (for most of those decades they'd supported multiple titles at once) along with all associated merch tchotchkes. By 2017 there was a Twitter hashtag, #WhereAreTheFantasticFour. If you want to hear some people be driven slowly insane by this, Stormcast had a segment called Stormwatch where they analyzed any Johnny Storm appearances in a given month. We're talking deep analyses of single panels.

(2) I know I just linked them, but part of the joke is Bleeding Cool's weird place in the geek news ecosystem. They report everything first, so for the first week you know something you can't strictly confirm it's actually true.

(3) I don't have time to enumerate Slott's crimes but we hate him. Source: Dude trust me👍

(4) How A B-List Hero Became Hot Hollywood Property Fox could adapt him because they had the rights to all mutants, and Disney could because they had the rights to all Avengers. Some characters are both because the comics didn't use to care about this. This is the entire reason the MCU introduced a Pietro Maximoff and then killed him off. Like seriously who kills off one twin. No that was not based on any comic story.

(5) They're not currently Magneto's kids in the main comic line. Everyone hates this.

(6) This is a cheap reference to the comic storyline "House of M".

(7) They killed her off in Amazing Spider-Man (2022) #26 and none of her supporting cast was there.

(8) Kamala Khan to Return in “Ms. Marvel: The New Mutant”

(9) Look at this thing:

WHO are those anonymously multiracial teens and what are they so goddamn happy about?

~

Bonus

[crazykuri]

This feels like nov 2023 all over again. Just now we see them, but not in the same pic. So close, ywt so far, ffs

i need the pretzel photos asap. i’m so close to being annoying again 😭

[princessconsuela120]

Since it's spooky season, could you do an aged up ff about you convincing stan's friend group to go trick or treating with you?

PRINCESSCONSUELA'S FALLFEST EVENT🍂🧣🎃🍃

🧣 - Cozy Up: Send in any fluff requests from the prompt list that should be posted shortly. I will write a short blurb for any prompt.

—🧣

Summary: it’s Halloween, so you convince the boys to go trick or treating…even though you’re all on high school now.

Warnings: cursing, South Park…all warnings that come with that.

Authors Note: I’m so sorry this took so long, but I adored this idea!!! More Fallfest docs coming out tonight!!! Enjoy!

—🧣

IT WAS AN EXCEPTIONALLY WARM DAY FOR FALL IN SOUTH PARK. Like Cartman liked to say, the only two seasons in South Park were Winter and July, but today was different. It was warm, WARM! In South Park! You couldn’t just let that pass up.

“Come on guys, please! Look at the sun, it’s shining! Have you ever seen the sun before?” You rambled, practically running circles around the boys as they walked to class. You and been friends with them since the 4th grade, and now being Juniors in high school, it was safe to say you were very close.

“Yes I’ve seen the damn sun before y/n.” Cartman snarked, choosing to miss the point of what you were saying. You rolled your eyes, shoving him lightly as the other boys chuckled.

“We could be scooby doo, or, what about..”

“I swear to god, if you suggest crayons again I’m going to scream.” Kyle said, making you groan, shaking him lightly with impatience.

“Oh come on you guys.”

“I don’t know y/n it’s just, we’re in high school now. Isn’t there like, a legal age limit for trick or treating.” Stan said, making Cartman scoff, nudging you back.

“Yeah, it ends at 8 years old.” He teased, making you roll my eyes yet again.

“I’m sure Kenny wasn’t to go, don’t you?”

“Anything for free candy.” Kenny said, the two of you high diving as Cartman rolled his eyes in defeat.

“Yeah you know what, I can be a kid for the night for some free candy.”

“You don’t need anymore candy fatass.” Kyle teased, Cartman turning to look at him angrily.

“Aye!” He shouted, as you and Kyle laugh to each other.

“I guess I’ll go. Got nothing better to do anyways.” Stan says, shrugging as you jump up and down with excitement. You turn to Kyle, rubbing your shoulder happily against his as you smiled.

“Yay! So Kyle, what’s it gonna be?” You teased, making him sigh.

“Fine.” He pointed a finger at you. “But I’m not being a damn crayon.” You nodded in agreement before jumping and squealing happily.

—🧣

SOMEHOW YOU HAD MANAGED TO CONVINCE THE BOYS TO BE THE GHOST BUSTERS. You had found a bucket of green paint in Stan’s farm-from good knows what- and paint Cartman head to toe in green paint. You sewed together some makeshift green outfit for him to wear and deemed him the ghost to your quartet. You can only imagine how happy that made Cartman.

“Why did I have to be the ghost?” He whined, stomping behind the four of you as you came up to your first door.

“Because your fat.” Kyle said, not missing a beat.

“Aye!”

“What he meant to say, was that you just shine, like a ghost would shine.” You say, as Cartman scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“Oh cut the crap y/n.”

“Trick or treat!” You all shouted, bright smiles on all your faces as the two adults at the door greeted you with excitement.

“Oh honey look, it’s the ghost busters!” The one woman said, nudging her husband as she pointed out Cartman.

“Yeah, and Bruce vilange.” Her husband cheered, making Cartman fume.

“God damnit I’m not Bruce villange! I’m a ghost!”

“Oh, of course you are honey.” The woman said nicely, making cartman scoff, grabbing the serving bowl from the lady and dumping half of it into his pillow case, causing you and the other boys to laugh.

“Just gimme the damn candy.” He grumbled, making you lean onto Stan as you laughed even harder. “I hate you guys.”

—🧣

“YOU GIVE ME YOUR ALMOND JOYS AND I'LL GIVE YOU MY PRETZELS.” Cartman bargained, making you frown as you held the blue wrapped candy up to you chest protectively. The five of you were now sitting in Stan’s living room, the contents of your pillow cases spilled out infront of you as you made trades for candy. Most of the time, when you were younger atleast, all the bags of chips and pretzels and drinks that you all got, you would all donate to Kenny, so he could take something home for his family. And besides that, he got to bring home the candy no one else would eat. Now Cartman on the other hand, would always try to go to bed Halloween night with even more candy than he had walking in the house. You of course, wouldn’t let this happen.

“But I want my almond joys.” You mumbled, a pour on your face as Cartman sighed, waving the bag of pumpkin shaped pretzels in the air.

“Well, don’t you want some pretzels?”

“Sure, here. I’ll give you my almond joys.” You handed him a few candy bars as he clapped excitedly.

“One bag of pretzels is equal to four.” Cartman corrected, making you roll your eyes.

“Right okay, well pretend that makes sense. Now, you give me your pretzels.”

“Ooo, ghost and pumpkin shaped, how spooky. Now, you give me back two almond joys.”

“Okay.”

“And I give you back your pretzels.”

“Okay.”

“Now you give me three more almond joys.”

“But there’s only two in my hands.” Cartman pouted, as you shook you head at him, gesturing to his pillow case.

“Then take it out of your bag.”

“Good idea.” He said, quickly digging for almond joys in his bag.

“Okay, and now you give me your pretzels.”

“Perfect. Aye!” Cartman yelled, watching angrily as you proudly stuffed both the new almond joys and spooky pretzels into you bag.

“No more candy trades boys, I’m all out.” You teased, dusting off your hands as Kyle Stan and Kenny all applauded you with amusement.

“That was amazing.” Stan muttered, making you chuckle as Cartman pouted in the corner, almost just like when you were kids. It was wonderful to be kids again on Halloween. Something the boys had missed. And even if they wouldn’t admit it, in fear of bruising their pride, they were happy you convinced them to go.

—🧣

[olderthannetfic]

I really wanted to ignore the vld wank and hoped it would die off.But ffs, no-one ever said Klance was pedophilic. Klance shippers who were the big antis in the vld fandom. They were the ones who called sheith “pedophilic” and by extension, any ship involving Shiro with one of the paladins.Klantis (klance shippers who were “antis”) were the ones who harassed other fans and the crew of the show. They played a big part of popularizing age discourse, harassment, and the “anti” mentality. (vld 1/3)

--

The only comments on Keith’s and Lance’s age difference happened when the ages for the paladins were revealed in an official book. Antis used to argue that sheith was “pedo” because Keith was a minor and Shiro was an adult. But according to that book, Keith was 18, and Lance was 17. So some people pointed out as a *joke* that now Klance was the ship with a minor and an adult.Of course antis claimed that it was the age gap that made sheith “pedo”, and continued their harassment. (vld 2/3) Later, due to weird space-time stuff, Keith aged 2 years while the rest of the team didn’t, so at the end of the show his age gap with Lance was pretty much the same as with Shiro. Antis twisted themselves into pretzels to justify that Keith’s additional 2 years “did not count”. As for the “queerbaiting”: the producers stated twice in interviews that klance would not be canon. Antis insisted the klance would be canon anyway. Meanwhile in canon Lance clearly had feelings for Allura. (vld 3/3)

I don't know where people get any version of VLD fandom history other than: Klance fans sucked.

[rainismdata]

Rain is here!! ^^

rainismdata (laufeysongm1n9i) [Ao3]

rainismdata [Twitter/X and Discord]

[◽️] #hmdlm or "The Living Medicine" is fake tweets of House MD characters; where everybody is alive, healthy, and happy. [◽️] #hilsoneulogy or "Eulogy for The Head and The Heart" is a collection of mini songfic, sickfic, or MCDfic; where I collect my sadness towards House or Wilson's death/sickness/pain in headcanons. [◽️] #hilson ff (with space) is a collection of currently read or subscribed stories (also my recommendations) [◽️]

[◽️] #hmdshots #rainshots or is a collection of LQ screenshots that I took while watching House MD, and then any other movies/series. [◽️] #rainedits is a collection of my amateurly edited pictures (using PicsArt); including wallpaper/lockscreen. [◽️] #rainfics #rainff is a collection of my written stories (fanfictions, prompts, drabble, fake tweet, fake chats, etc). #rainocs is for my OCs. [◽️] rainplays is a collection of me talking about games. [◽️]

About Me (+preferences):

Welcome to my ✨fantasy world 💖✨

I'm Rain, the “I'm fluent in Google Translate” enjoyer, reader, and writer. [Yes, I am quoting Stephen Strange.]

[[ 2⃣5⃣ she/they 💓💛💙 eng/idn 🔞 (MDNI on NSFW things) ]]

This account stands for every thing I could find or any thing I would read. So, basically I can read anything; and I can just leave it alone if it's not my preferences (on tropes, ships, or genres)

OTPs: Albert×Chris (RE), Batman×Superman (DC), Wong×Strange (Marvel), Wilson×House (House MD), Price×Ghost (CoD), Castiel×Dean (SPN), Eddie×Buck (9-1-1), Maverick×Iceman (TG/TG-M), Higuruma×Nanami (JJK), etc.

I'm also having an agenda with crackpairs/rarepairs. I'm not RPS, but if you are— you do you^^

Also— ✨M-PREG✨

Games I currently play on devices: Arena of Valor, Baldur's Gate 3, Call of Duty (series: OG and Reboot Modern Warfare, Black Ops, Infinite Warfare), Counter Strike, Death Stranding, Dynasty Warriors (6-9), God of War (2018 and Ragnarok), Minecraft, Monster Hunter World: Iceborne, Resident Evil (4-8, Remake 1-4, Revelations 1-2, Code Veronica), SuperStar rhythm games (ATEEZ, SM, JYP, YG, Cube, Woollim), The Last of Us (1-2), Warriors Orochi (3-4, +Ultimate)

dividers by: @cafekitsune and @enkeli-moonsys

Now that you're here—

I do have another account for korean thingie (series, movies, music), but here I am still proudly announcing that I am CREZL's Pretzel �� 😌✨ I am a fan of a crossover quartet voice group; Lim Kyuhyung (Tenor/Musical), Jo Jinho (Pop/PENTAGON), Kim Suin (Korean Traditional Musician), and Lee Seungmin (Baritone/Opera).

They covered iCorre! (Jesse & Joy), Faith (Stevie Wonder ft. Ariana Grande), Kill This Love (BLACKPINK), Higher (Michael Bublé) on the show as one of the top three quartet finalists of Phantom Singer season 4. [Also, Faith performance has got them the highest score from producers/judges in the whole seasons (S1-S4); 593 points from 6 producers of one for 98 and five for 99 points.]

Recently, CREZL released a mini album "CRE:㘉" with "Forbidden Love" as the title track and 4 more songs in the album.

[look-i-love-u]

Gallacrafts - Stargazer lilies, Motherfucker! - Theme 23

My @gallacrafts for this month's theme is a wooden box I did some wood burning on.

For @gallacrafts I turned it into "Ian's memory box". Filled with memories of firsts that make him so happy and excited to be married to Mickey. Rosepetals from their wedding suit, string from the first time Mickey fixed a rip in his pants, shells from their first trip to the beach, tomato seeds, pretzels from their house warming party in their flat, stickers from Franny's first overnight stay, polaroids of the lilies on his balcony and Mickey in his bed, the bubbles they made when Freddy visited them, ...

And since I like to use my crafts and don't really need a memory box I decided to make a Mickey version of the box too... based on a super fun ff in which Mickey runs a secret DnD group with the people from the West Side and when Ian finds out he's very much into Mickey doing lots of quick maths.

Anyway... here's my Mickey's DnD dice box. Featuring pink felt and some Pride dice!

[doctortwhohiddles]

Thoroughlystupid has decided to come out of retirement to grace us with yet another exemplary show of her stupidity. And this is really a doozy. Prepare to cry with laughter.

The simplest explanation is the best. Exactly. So what is simpler? That Ben and Sophie are happily married and parents to 3 boys or the convoluted, ever changing narrative coming from the sQeptics butts? As far as piss poor reading comprehension and pretzel twisting goes, Thoroughlystupid is hard to beat with that utter nonsense. There's no zebra. There was never any zebras. It was always a horse. One the sQeptics keep beating even though it's long dead.

Then, her idiotic post continues with this:

The facts are thus: the poem is a popular one at weddings and isn't tied to the date of Kit's conception. There was a christening for all 3 kids. Ben has never said repeatedly said 3 boys. Lazy journalists did, not him. He knows how many kids he has. There's a freaking birth certificate for all 3 of them. The quote about Sophie is taken way out of context. We all know what she meant: no questions about my private life. Social media posts are no indicator of a person private life. Just because he wasn't spotted or that people did and didn't mention it doesn't mean he's in hiding. Add to that the fact that the sQeptics are blocked by almost everyone and you get this epic show of stupidity. It known and common courtesy to not take and post pictures of a stranger's kids. Again, not everyone is as an entitled asshole as the sQeptics. The kids are school aged and in school. Ffs, they sent them to school in the US when Ben was promoting TPoTD.

Nine years. Nine fucking years. That's how long they've been at it. And those are the only arguments they have to convince themselves. If any of what they are saying was true, it would have been in the press. There's no way the British tabloids would sit on a story like this.

So, for the SQeptics lurking: just stop. You know you have zero credible evidence to back your bullshit. You know Ben and Sophie are together. You know they have 3 boys. Those are all well known, documented facts. So stop acting like morons and start living in the real world. It's not has bad as you're making it out to be.

[miiints-repostiory]

spagetti moment

[sleepyowlwrites]

find the word tag CCCLXXXXIV

I decided to try this on my phone again, like a crazy person. I had a bad, boring day and my throat still hurts. Yay.

fridge magnet in the shape of a pretzel from @abalonetea

hot (ff: jedi: kivarin v.1)

“How did you even know I was down here?” He asked her, more insistently. “And what are you- ah!”

Kivarin murmured an apology as she pressed around the edges of the wounds. His skin wasn’t hot or stiff, which was a good sign. “I can heal these down, but when we get out you should get an antibiotic shot. Ready?”

wet (ff: jedi: kivarin v.2)

Finally a planet that doesn't immediately want to eat me or rob me for all I have-"

Cal breaks off when a thunderclap booms, squinting around under the hood of his poncho. "How come you're outside? You're getting all wet!" He laughs.

You're still rooted in place. Your eyes are looking at him but you can only see Kiran, bright and warm and breathing. Except that Kiran is dull, and cold, and still. You imagine you can see Cal's chest also stilling, his heart ceasing to beat. The next round of thunder sends you to the ground in despair.

soft and sigh (ff: jedi: kivarin v.2)

When you exhale in a deep sigh, it seems to let out all your reserve energy. Your head drops into Cal's shoulder, getting another soft chuckle out of him.

"I seem to recall this being a bad position to sleep in."

"I don't care," you mumble. "I'm so tired. And my head hurts."

allow, break, stand, shrink. BONUS: quicken, salivate. for @zmwrites @incandescent-creativity @revenantlore @squarebracket-trickster or anybody

[lecarouge]

So I know you're okay with dark content, but I also know that like even then there are still nonos for us enjoyers so I'm gonna be careful w/ nsfw ALSO BLS POST YOUR WRITING I'll love you forever bls

But like you said, if you've been paying too much attention to Isagi, Bachira with make out with you in front of him. Buuut I feel like Meguru would go further than that, especially if he's really frustrated with the both of you, like teaching another lesson. He'd have you pushed up against the wall, teeth dragging against your neck as he squeezes the flesh of your hips, before teasing his fingers along the band of your pants.

"This is what you wanted, right? You've been paying so much attention to him, gotta remind you who you belong to, right, (name)-chan?" Bachira questions, finally slipping his hand into your pants. He let's out a breathy moan mixed with huff as he feels the dampness of your panties.

If Isagi tries to step up and say something (I don't see him doing unless Bachira gets /too/ rough and slips too far into his monster), Meguru will whip his head to face Yoichi with that look in his eye and will tell him to "sit back down." And Isagi is like "yessir" and is right back in his seat.

That or- Megs has you on your side, one leg up on his shoulder as your head is resting in Isagi's lap. Yoichi is trying so hard to keep his focus on Bachira as he feels your hot, panting breath through his boxers and when you moan against his thigh, digging your nails into his skin, the shudder that goes through him.

I've also been thinkin abt where Bachira's got you both standing on your knees, he's fuckin you from behind and has your back in a perfect arch to where your shoulders touch his chest. He's got one hand around your throat, holding your head in place so he can look you in the eye. He's not hurting you, but there is enough pressure that you know better than to move from where he wants you.

Idk I know these aren't the most foldy positions, but I feel like Bachira would enjoy folding you like a pretzel whether he's upset with you or not

bestie i posted sndhfjsmanxhsjq thank u for the encouragement and inspiration <3

also the way you characterize bachira is making me froth at the mouth ffs. He goes sooo feral when he’s fucking you (especially if he’s teaching you a lesson holy-) Poor Isagi is barely keeping it together. It’d be so easy to grind up into your cheek, but Bachira would probably kill him.

but now you’ve got me thinking about Bachira slipping too deep into his monster. Folding you in half with your feet in the air. He’s panting and drooling onto your neck. Growling, “mine, mine, mine.” All you can do is whine. Too fucked out to string together any coherent thought.

He’s so ruthless maybe you even pass out. much to ponder…

[tsnbrainrot]

hi marie i hope youre well! im popping by to recommend a recent video essay called Doctor Who vs Women by verilybitchie as i know its always hatingstevenmoffat o'clock on this blog. i also had fun reading the comments of moffat simps admitting they cant actually argue against the points made in the video lmao

oh, anon you speak my language !! it IS always hating stevenmoffat o'clock on this blog and this is a rec that seems so aligned with my interests. i can wait to watch it!!!

people who defend moffat and claim he's a feminist are so funny to me like ?????????? you can just say you like his stuff; we all like stuff that's questionable. you don't have to twist yourself into a pretzel to say he's woke in order to justify you liking his era ffs. (but the worst is when people try to argue he did great on lgbt rep on dw. bitch WHERE ????? WHERE?? bi!clara ?? god, the bar is literally on the floor. rtd casting yasmin did more for lgbt+ rep/visibility than the entirety of moffat's era and the eps havent even aired yet.)

anyways, i'll get back to you/this post when i've watched the thing but i'm very excited.

[judeswhore]

Jude is really saying I can’t be taller than Jobe but I will be thicker.

Ffs. Want him to manhandle me like a baker making a pretzel. 💦

need him to just throw me around a little