#ff of sorts i guess idk

[readingwriter92]

I love when I write all my code. It takes hours everything works. And then I put it into a different operating system and it just. Completely breaks

[urlocalnonbinarybastardwrites]

Hi 🤭🤭 am I a pretty mf? Cuz I wanna talk to you<33

Lmao anyways- can u do an outsiders ship for me pls? Tsymm

Ok so I’m like, abnormally tall for my age-If I had to guess, I’m roughly 5’10. My hair is this bleach-blonde, really shaggy sort of overgrown butterfly cut. I have HORRENDOUS posture and hazel eyes, and my skin is peach-tone ig?

Idk how to describe my personality, but here’s some interactions I’ve had with my friends so you have a general idea—

[My friend] *Drinking a smoothie* eUGH, it’s so thick

[Me] *Struggling to hold in my own laugh* Y’know- cough, y’know what else is thick??

[My friend] Do NOT.

______

[Me] *holding up a picture of some random celebrity from the 80’s-90’s* i need him pregnant

[My friend] Mf, he is in his FIFTIES. He HAS CHILDREN

[Me] I don’t care

[My friend] LEAVE THAT MAN BE

_______

[Me] *Staring at the wall while hallucinating the hat man* chat. chat is this resl

[My friend] ffs, go to sleep you insomniac bastard

Anygays, my hobbies are drawing hot pathetic divorced w/ kids wet cat manfailure malewife babygirls and also making playlists abt said babygirls bc men,, need them so bad actually s not even funny

Sir you are relatable

Your Outsiders Ship: Two Bit Mathews

Explanation: looks wise I think you’re definitely his type. I think he would definitely make jokes about your posture if he met you and if you were insecure about it, he would probably quickly learn about that and then stop, but I think he would love your hair and I can’t remember his canon height but I see him as being a little taller than you, so I think he would also tease you about that and call you short, even though you’re not that much shorter than him. As for your personality, you seem like you like crack in a lot of jokes and you like being relatable which, even if you weren’t trying to be relatable that’s how you come across because I relate to every single statement is made and anyway I think you and to, but we just have such fun making jokes and teasing each other because that would also be your love language. As for your hobbies, I think two would totally make some playlists with you and Simp over people that already have wives and children. And then I can join your guys relationship and do that as well. But I think you guys would be a really fun couple and definitely have the most fun dates ever and are really cool people that would just get along great personality wise.

[box4brains]

So this is part of a continuation of this;

It’s more of ff style of writing than previous, because I think writing it in the same style as previous would be annoying to me so….

~.~

Law was definitely not sulking and hiding behind the tangerine trees that for some reason grew on the Straw Hat Pirates ship. (Though his doctor side approved, it was a good source of vitamins).

He should have known that the peace wouldn’t last (well, he did know that, he just wanted to live in denial for a while longer) and it was with a great sigh he finally turned around to acknowledge Franky and Nico Robin who were the… first? Only ones?- to search him out.

Law was about to say something snappy about how he refused to be the one to give that captain of theirs “the talk” -and they couldn’t make him damnit - when he saw the look on Nico-ya’s face and promptly closed his mouth without any sound.

Well, I guess you could say that she was smiling pleasantly. Except for the fact it sent chills down his back. Still, Law was a Captain, he refused to be intimidated, regardless of who or what he was facing.

“What do you want?”

There was a threat there somewhere, Law approved, he refused to back down from anyone. Still, even disregarding the alliance, the fact he was currently trapped on their ship and not a crew member to call on if shit hit the fan or evening the battlefield, even disregarding all that; Law didn’t want to fight Nico Robin.

If it was from some sort of mistaken sense of solidarity, from being sole survivors of state sponsored genecide, or acknowledging her ability and intelligence, Law didn’t know. But he knew she was dangerous, just like he himself was dangerous, perhaps more through circumstance than temperament, but dangerous nonetheless.

“Well, we figured it would be beneficial for all parties involved if we could talk to you about… Luffy.” Franky said giving Law a thumbs up.

Law narrows his eyes at Franky. He could hear what the cyborg was saying, and what he wasn’t.

“I’m not giving that brat a crash-course in sex and intimacy just so I can have a discussion with him I in no ways wish to engage in!!”

“Well…” Franky starts before being derailed by Robin laughing softly to herself.

“Why not turn him down? I’m rather curious about why you haven’t even tried telling him his feelings aren’t mutual.” Despite her smile no longer being creepy, Law found her new smile even harder to face. Could a smile be all-knowing? Law sure as fuck didn’t like it.

Telling himself that he was just turning back around to look at the ocean - he wasn’t running away from having to look those two in their stupid, knowing eyes, oh no - Law muttered a “as if Straw hat-ya would listen.”

“Oi!” Franky immediately interrupted. “Luffy is a lot of things, but if you explained to him that you’re not interested he’ll listen- assuming you mean it.”

“And that’s the fucking problem!” Law snapped slamming his fist down on the railing.

“I DON’T have a problem with Straw hat-ya or I being intimate! What I don’t want to do is make this alliance any messier than it already is! I don’t want to be fucking responsible for his introduction into intimacy and sex! I swear the little fucker is going to succeed with what even the damn lead failed to do and make my hair turn white!”

Robins eyes grew wide and she made a gesture as if she was about to reach out and grab the man ranting in front of her before controlling herself and letting her hands rest at her sides.

“You think I’ll get fucking anywhere telling that menace you call a captain that I don’t really mind having someone like him as a partner, it’s just more logical to not engage?!?”

“Listen, I SUPER understand what you’re saying, I’m just trying to make you understand how Luffy works.” Franky said. “You’re not wrong in understanding that saying something stupid like that isn’t going to accomplish anything, but I don’t think you really understand how Luffy works! You can’t really put him in a group of other people and be like ‘Luffy’s just like these people’. Luffy is always going to be Luffy. It’s like the only constant thing that you can count on. That and logposes, I suppose.”

Law took a deep breath trying to get his temper under control. “Your point?”

“Right,” Franky laughed. “You unintentionally put a condition in place earlier. You won’t discuss the matter with Luffy until he learns about sex, Luffy wants you two to come to an agreement - is it or isn’t it something he can pursue with you - so Luffy will try to learn about sex.”

“I don’t se- “ Law started to grumble before being interrupted by Franky.

“Listen! Luffy is Luffy, he’s in a class of himself. He’ll hear what he wants to hear, see what he wants to see and do what he wants to do. As terrifying as that sounds, it still kinda always works out, because he’s Luffy. He struggles sometimes with stuff most people don’t have problems with and accomplishes feats no-one could’ve dreamed of. He’s different. Simple. But not necessarily stupid, well, most of the time.”

“Look, let me give you an example; when we were at fishman island, I had my shipwright master’s brother come and help us with re-coating the ship, and I told Luffy that when I explained who the stranger on the ship was. Somehow Luffy came to the understanding that he was a shipwright there to coat my brother… is that really the understanding you want Luffy to have about anything sexual?”

Law could feel the color drain from his face.

“If Luffy doesn’t feel like it concerns him, he’s not going to listen properly, and love it or hate it, but as long as you’re the only person in the world that makes it seem appealing to him, you’ll remain the only one most likely to be able to explain these things to him.”

Law grabbed his sword before running off swearing vehemently under his breath.

“Right!” Franky exclaimed. “Good talk - and good luck - I’m SUPER happy to have it over and done with!”

Squinting at the archeologist, Franky raised his shades and asked; “oi, you doing alright?”

Robin recoiled lightly before murmuring softly; “what? Oh, yes, I’m doing fine… just hoping that I’m wrong about something, for Traffy’s sake, if nothing else.”

Robin gave the shipwright one of her enigmatic, if slightly sad-looking, smiles before accepting the arm he offered her as they returned to their normal life on the Sunny.

~.~

What’s this? Frobin? In my silly little stories? It’s more likely than you think!

All jokes aside, I do love me some sideship Frobin… feel free to read into it if you want, to me it works platonically too.

Some side notes, Laws demands of a sexual partner isn’t based on gender or looks. It’s (some kind of) chemistry and being able to look at his partner as an equal (or the very least, not looking down on his partner, or being looked down upon). Due to that he doesn’t buy sex, he doesn’t do anything with his crew or patients. He wants equality so a person who he feels responsible for, someone he doesn’t respect, anything that makes it “unequal playing field” is a huge no-go for him.

His reluctance to be intimate with Luffy is part from him viewing Luffy as too young and inexperienced to make an informed decision, and is iffy about how much he feels like Luffy basically owing him a life-debt might be influencing his feelings on the matter.

His reason for finding Luffy appealing is because Luffy is strong, not easily influenced (as much as he’s frustrated with it), and he actually likes and respects Luffy as a person.

The reason Robin was all scary in the beginning is because she was pissed at Law for making Chopper decide that the crew would need a safe sex talk. No one wants to listen to a talk like that from the person you see as basically the little brother/baby of the crew.

Next; more fun with Law trying to make Luffy understand sex and intimacy and how it affects people! Maybe 🤔 this part and that part was originally supposed to be one part, after all… the switch in writing kinda threw me off tho so for now enjoy 😅

[gubbles-owo]

medical vent, so slapping that shit under a read more as to not jumpscare folks with a n x i e t y

went in for an echocardiogram today. that is, an ultrasound of the heart. been functionally disabled for two years now due to what is likely POTS or some other form of dysautonomia. or it could be something else entirely, who the fuck knows. the ultrasound is to help rule out structural problems so we can move forward with a proper diagnosis. i've technically had an echocardiogram before, but i was like. only 5 or 6 years old. i barely remember the details, but the memory is there. the reasoning for that testing is fuzzy because my parents can't remember shit nowadays, but my doctors were suspecting a heart murmur or smth which ultimately led nowhere. so i'm told to come in today without any prep. from what i remember from over two decades ago, you lie on your back, they put some cold gel on your chest, and they sweep this sensor thing against your chest while taking scans of what it sees. what i did not remember was that there is a contact microphone on the sensor. i could hear -everything- in excruciating detail. the different muscles of my heart contracting, the gurgling of blood as it's pumped through, and-- worst of fucking all-- how all of it would rapidly speed up whenever i heard it scream out of the shitty computer speaker. this wasn't just the dull thumps you'd hear with a stethoscope, this was crystal fucking clear. for context: i am was a sound designer (and music composer) by trade. not that i have been capable of working the past two years due to this very disability but that's besides the point. i have a very analytical ear. i listen very closely to things and my brain automatically takes detailed notes on what exactly its hearing. it's not just my former job, it's just always how i've operated. so you combine this intrinsic hyper-awareness of sound with the anxiety-riddled hyper-awareness of what the fuck it is my heart is doing at any given time (including worrying speedups, skips, drops in pressure, and seemingly stops altogether), and the result is. absolute fucking torture. that sound is going to haunt me for the rest of my life. now that sounds all dramatic and whatever the fuck but i do not take that lightly. idk if i can like. claim a thing that just happened an hour ago to be traumatizing. but it was... deeply, horrifically unsettling. if i ever have to do that again, i am bringing earplugs ffs. guess i'm gonna go bury myself in games or something for the rest of the evening as to not think about all this shit. been working on beating (and 100%ing) majora's mask for the first time. on console, so no savestates or whatever. which means it gets reeaal frustrating sometimes. but that sort of full-brain engagement is exactly what i need right now. hopefully i can sleep tonight.

[jakowskis]

Day 2 - Who’s your favorite Torchwood member? (And if it’s not one of them, who’s your favorite character?) Why are they your favorite? Do you have any secondary favorites (maybe a one-off or minor character that really stuck with you)?

owen, infinitely. i could write essays on why i love owen - hell, i have written essays. and at this point, you know when a character means so much to you there’s not even words for it anymore, they’re just kind of a fundamental part of you? Yeah. but nonetheless, i guess to majorly sum it up, he’s just one of the most utterly broken and fascinating characters i’ve ever had the pleasure of coming across. there's just a visceral sadness and anger to him that immediately reeled me in and i don’t think i’ll ever get over it, like he actually haunts me. and he made his way into my top 3 characters of all time in just a few months, which is pretty damn impressive. something just kinda clicked there. (and i highlight how fucked up he is, but then he's also complex enough that he's got a silly/dorky side too, which im super endeared by as well. i love his complexity. perf character for me, hes got like 30 things going on and im intrigued and compelled by all of them. i love him endlessly.)

also, okay, i’ve observed my favorite characters tend to unintentionally fit certain criteria, like when i look back at all my favs i can sort them into three categories. namely, it's 1) characters that make me lose my mind bc theyre so interesting (and/or endearing), 2) characters i relate to, and 3) characters i’d smash. fhdjkf. i tend to visualize it as a venn diagram, and most characters sit in one or two of the circles - owen is, i believe, the absolute only fav i’ve ever had who’s firmly in the middle. which probably has something to do with why he’s top 3. dhfdsjk

as for secondary favs… well, i absolutely adore the rest of the team, especially ianto and the girls (including suzie!!!!!!!! my girl suzie). i’m not sure why, gwen’s become a particular favorite. she gives me like cuteness aggression HFKSDF i wanna squish her (lovingly). she’s so fucked up n interesting, but also a lil gremlin to me. i love her playful side she’s such a love.

one-off characters… actually, quite a few have stood out to me and made an emotional impact. torchwood has had some wonderfully talented guest actors who really managed to get me attached to their characters, despite having so little screentime. carys, eugene, and beth all come to mind. i think about beth a lot. and maggie, ohhhh maggie. ill talk about aditd a bit tomorrow, ff.

also the episodes with mothers, oh g-d. eugene’s mom, and jonah’s, and jasmine’s. all really heart-wrenching, and damn good actresses. i always get emotional with plotlines about parents + their kids, fff. parental pain + fear just hits diff idk. i used to watch a ton of criminal minds and that was about the only place my empathy jumped out fhsdkfjd.

i also love the various romantic interests - john, diane, mary, lisa, mark (cough), katie, tommy. rhys!! i love you rhys. torchwood is such a character-focused fixation for me like g-d i just adore every character sm. so many good ones. AND HOW COULD I FORGET MY FAV GUY OF ALL - ANDY!!!!!!!! ily pc andy <3 <3 <3

[zmediaoutlet]

twenty questions for fic writers

tagged to do the do by @prince-of-elsinore, ty ty for thinking of me

How many works do you have on ao3?

211 (and elsewhere, maybe a dozen we don't talk about, bc they suck, on livejournal; maybe a couple dozen short pieces here on tumblr that have never migrated to ao3)

What's your total ao3 word count?

1,515,103

What fandoms do you write for?

Almost all Supernatural, but also some video game fandoms (FF, DA, maybe BG3 soon), MCU, etc. usual suspects.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. oh so good, oh so fine -- 993 kudos 2. there will be better days -- 846 kudos 3. see things so much clearer -- 621 kudos 4. into the flood again -- 602 kudos 5. side two, track one -- 558 kudos maybe someday we'll break 1000, lol

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Absolutely I do, and would find it rude not to. I know other people have all kinds of reasons they don't respond but I don't have any of those reasons, especially since I'm pathetically grateful every time someone bothers to say they liked something, lol. If anyone's even a tiny bit encouraged to become a repeat reader by the writer responding, I want to encourage that as much as possible. Plus, every once in a while, you can get a dece conversation going in the comments! Find a like-minded fan! That's worth any effort to compose a few sentences of thanks. The only comments I don't respond to are emoji strings or cut-and-paste 'another kudos here' comments, because they're not actually comments. (I appreciate the thought, but... I don't want them.)

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I have had some beta friends who would argue about this one, lol. I guess the saddest is probably the hollow summer, since the whole plot is kind of hurt/no comfort. I don't believe in a successful boy king, let's say that.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

again, probably depends on how you define 'happy'. glory days is probably the most cheerful; for me, the happy comes better with more experience behind it, so the thirty-third yard would maybe be my personal choice.

Do you get hate on fics?

nope; worst I ever got was some twerp who actually responded to someone else's comment, bitching that I didn't put the right peepee in the right poopyhole. But only one of those, ever, and safely ignored. idk, I don't attract that much.

Do you write smut?

...yes.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

only one, and it only sort of counts -- i heard love was blind, which is Cordell Walker/Dean Winchester, but of course the point is that Dean's getting the body of his brother by other means. I like crossovers but I usually want there to be a point beyond 'let's mash these two faves together and see what happens'; I'm more inclined toward doing a whole-universe fusion, e.g. fully placing characters with what you can salvage of their key backstory elements into a universe not their own... which I guess would also count as a crossover, wouldn't it. so I also did that with putting the Winchesters into the Dragon Age 2 plot, in whatever we were before. definitely 'crazier' than the first one here, lol.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I think that's the kind of thing that happens on WattPad. Who cares.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes, a few.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I tried; it didn't work. Both people need to be contributing to the writing for it to really count as 'co-written'; nevertheless it's stuck with both author names on ao3 because I don't think there's a way to change that.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

I think from context this should be clear. Although will also forever hold many small candles for the little guys.

What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

the aforementioned "co-written" fic, which was meant to be a huge series. The first fic is finished because I brute-forced my way through it, but there was a full five-season arc we were going to try to get through. Alas. The first one is decent, though, and works as a complete fic on its own: In a Cursed Hour.

What are your writing strengths?

voice, pacing, naturalism; characterization, though that can be argued in a fan-space

What are your writing weaknesses?

plot -- I find it intensely boring. Avoidance of plot then tends to flatten stories into similar non-arcs; I don't mind that, but it's a skill to exercise.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I'll only do Spanish, and that's only because I studied it for eight years. Even then it's usually the wrong choice, unless it's a fully blended multilingual story (which most are not, and in the wrong hands it comes off as absurd); better to convey through the POV character either understanding it or not, and dealing with it in narrative instead of straight dialogue. Although a word or two here or there is nbd, clearly.

First fandom you wrote for?

Final Fantasy VIII

Favorite fic you've written?

well, questions, you got me, because I don't believe in favorites. at this moment in terms of writing skill I think the best might be asceticism, but in terms of one that sits in my head and fully just is canon, lol, it might be there will be better days, mentioned above. the only heaven fic I need. I guess that says something.

kind of interesting to look at the stats, if also stressful. let's get some other writers to be interested/stressed -- uhh @redmyeyes, @phynali, @hellhoundsprey, @stillwaterseas, @whiskeycherrypie

some shots in the dark :)

[hoardlikegoldenirises]

timeline of Peter Parker's Spider-Man suits for my AU

(part... One...! Handmade Suits)

with copious notes for myself lol

(i made a separate post for his web shooters)

You can see the original versions of some of these designs (here) but this post is now of course the most up-to-date version (though I did trace parts of the original so I didn't have to do too much extra re-drawing, which is why parts of it look wonky 😅(cough cough teen peter))

MANY closeups under the cut:

—🕸️—

First up is Peter's early costumes:

Peter's Very First Costume before he was technically Spider-Man. Now, is it stupid to have the name of your high school emblazoned across your back? Probably. But he only wears this for like... a month, month and a half. Extremely classic DIY shit, scrim eyes, no lenses, stolen tracksuit (no he's not evil in this au he's just a little monster) etc. This is what he's first using his Mk.I web shooters with before replacing them because they suck.

NOTE: TECHNICALLY WRONG: things are constantly shifting. not sure about web-shooters but this tracksuit technically isn't his costume for wrestling, it goes OVER his costume for wrestling, which is just a high-rise singlet over tights + the mask. but when he's not on the mat he's wearing the tracksuit to cover himself.

The shades of colors on this tracksuit match the shades on Flash's letter jacket btw. (posted here)

Some running shoes he probably got at Payless—IDK if those exact shoes I was drawing were actually cheap but they look close enough to a pair I could sort of see on Payless' website in the wayback machine for 2003 so it's good enough for me XD

can see a peek of peter's glove there lol. probably should have drawn him wearing them but he probably takes them off when he wrestles anyway.

And this is Peter's FIRST REAL Spider-Man costume which also uses his Mk.II web shooters (the ones that use a combo pulley-and-lever system) which he probably wears for the first time... the night his uncle dies. It's still very hand-made and the logo is screenprinted which means it is going to start cracking pretty quickly... multiple pieces much like 616... I mean this is basically the 616 costume. No face shell or anything so mouth and nose are kind of visible (and ears...) and it's basically standard lycra... not sports fabric or anything just basically thick-ass tights.

Still using scrim in the eyes but now with plastic lenses. Probably not ballistics grade though so... lol.

he repurposes the sneaker soles from his pre-spidey suit into his new boots, probably just sewn right on (or glued maybe) and he just... wears shoes that are too big so he can fit them in (either that or keeps them in his bag and only puts them on when he changes out of his regular clothes, which is feasible for a guy with a 10 second quick-change time) (I guess he could also wear boot covers made out of the original sneakers that make them look like regular shoes 🤔) (arguably the funniest option)

changed my mind he just has separate boots and puts them on since most solutions require him taking his shoes off anyway and he has that super reflex stuff lol

I haven't really posted much/any fics where Peter's at this age, except "I like our second first kiss better" (though he's not really shown in the suit in the snippets of that) though maybe I'll mention a flashback of him in high school. Oh I guess he was wearing this suit briefly in "These are not the clothes [...]" since that shows him getting the symbiote after fighting Ock.

this is of course the symbiote suit which Peter acquires in "These are not the clothes I had on when I went to bed" and keeps until "Last week [...]" So... 17-18 years old... (rather almost-18 to almost-19 years old as he gets it in the summer before college and loses it the summer between freshman and sophomore year of college)

it's more of a leather look than a latex look (esp compared to peter's black and white ff suit 10 years later) vs. Patricia's being more glossy

This stayed largely unchanged compared to the original version of these costumes I did.

and obv since it's a symbiote it's expressive, in contrast to peter's other suits which all have either fixed lenses or in the case of the diy suit is just fabric lol

not much to say here. sporty symbiote shoes.

This is the suit he makes at 18 during the summer between freshman and sophomore year of college, which I only briefly mentioned in "Last week I started over again" and prob should have maybe mentioned a little more in detail XD

Without the symbiote and being several inches taller than he was at 17 (not to mention more uh... full-bodied) obviously he couldn't just wear his high school spidey suit so he had to make a new one, and this is it. Bonuses are that he's more experienced sewing, used a nice breathable (and textured matte finish) poly-spandex sports blend for all of his spandex (instead of dance lycra) so it's breathable, added under-arm mesh (i stumbled upon that by happenstance and thought it suited this look very well) and used a mix of embroidery and heat-transfer vinyl to decorate his suit. Also perforated vinyl inside his polycarbonate lenses.

I think the back spider is just some high quality spandex sewn onto the other spandex blends, but the chest spider is def heat transfer vinyl.

which means it may or may not melt if he goes into a burning building, now that i think about it...

The plan for this navy and crimson suit is for it to be his standard suit for most of his 20s.

The boots are pretty simple here... They ARE boots though they're a little slimmer than most regular boots and the soles are removable through the magic of Rare Earth Magnets and possibly also his own sticking power and also I decided that he can stick through a few inches of material so I can justify his use of shoe soles but also tbh it makes sense even for regular barefoot wallcrawling to prevent him from just... peeling paint off walls and to not be totally fucked if it's a little rainy or dusty.

really i just like the way sporty spider-men with sporty soles look.

Not sure what the boot fabric is, I wrote "not spandex" but it could be like, lined or something. It's Something.

I didn't write this on the drawing but it's in my notes, the soles are dual-density with a polyurethane (PU) outer and an expanded thermoplastic polyurethan (ETPU) inner for durability, lightweight, good support and cushioning, etc. He doesn't have them like, in BULK but he has at least half a dozen replacement pairs of shoe soles for when they wear out.

Also didn't realize this when I was choosing materials but apparently PU is a thermoset which means it won't melt (only soften or burn) once it's set in shape which is super cool. TPU is a thermoplastic though, so it can remelt, but I'm not sure how ETPU would respond to high heat or flame since as an expanded foam it IS full of air bubbles (aka insulation) (then again, even FR treated foam insulation is usually considered a fire hazard...) —Well either way, I'm less worried about his shoes melting than I am about the rest of his suit (also the soles are removable so he can take them off if he needs to)

So basically, overall, This suit is NOT fireproof. Though polyester has a pretty high ignition and melting point (and polycarb is also pretty tough) it's not fire resistant or safe for fires because once you reach high enough temps it melts, so it's more likely to burn you more severely compared to natural fibers like cotton or silk. As you will see further down, Peter learns this the hard way in 2009.

some material swatches just for vibes and a diagram which is mostly for my own benefit, when I was figuring out how to draw those God Forsaken webs. I think I figured out a way that works well for me though.

the fabric is mostly matte and semi-matte cause I find glossy or satin-finished untextured spandex to look kind of... cheap... (which is why i'm not a big fan of the TASM2 movie suit, even though I love the lenses) (i prefer TASM2 lenses and TASM1 suit even though peter's head looks like a basketball in the first movie) (also the crotch is so low,)

Anyway, Peter's mask is padded with a thin layer of foam as a compromise with the fact that most irl cosplayers use rigid face shells to get the silhouette right lmao but I don't want him to have a hard shell under his mask cause... spider-man kisses... LMAO

also just realized giving him underarm mesh for breathability could be considered an homage to the armpit webs... (which, obviously, are not present on these designs... because they are ugly.) that was not on purpose though.

—🕸️—

Numbah Two

it's only... two... well two and a half cause of the way this worked out XD Actually it was only ONE before but I was like, fuck it, idk what his first electro fight will even be and electro hasn't shown up at all but i'll toss in an electro-proof suit, too, why not.

First I wanted to mention his updated default duds though.

He's been using the same pattern as the one he drafted in mid 2006 for the blue and red for a few years at this point, so if it's damaged he just... makes a new one... has soles (and probably lenses tbh) that he bought probably half a dozen identical pairs of, etc. The life of sports fabrics, after all, is only a couple of years before it starts to lose shape (and also it keeps getting shredded) so. Replacements. and you know he shreds those shoes to bits. He's gonna be so good at sewing lol

But in early 2009, well, he does something dumb—which is, he runs into a burning building wearing head-to-toe polyester. It's not fire-resistant, def not certified FR, and in fact, this is partly due to the fact that it's PTFE (Teflon) treated to be non-stick and those two treatments typically don't play nice together. (Teflon itself is pretty heat resistant but from my googling it sounds like Teflon fabric treatment does not render fabric heat resistant, which i guess makes sense, like, it's still gonna melt in there...)

So he runs into a burning building, ends up with something actively-on-fire falling onto him, and while it's not like, heavy or anything, it is direct heat and flame upwards of 900 degrees, well above the melting point of polyester and above the ignition point as well, so... he ends up with a third degree burn on his leg and many smaller first and second degree burns on the rest of his body from sparks melting tiny spots through his suit (as well as the vinyl heat transfer on his chest—the melting point of vinyl is only 200F, so even if he stays ground level (which he has to, because otherwise his polycarb lenses will hit their glass transition temperature (aka start to soften), and he knows this) it will likely be very hot or near melting directly against his chest (well, he has power mesh lining but that's really not enough to protect him from melting plastic)

So.

(ignore the thong that's from the unstable molecule lineup)

When Peter remakes his suit in early 2009 after getting burned, he does it with some more... advanced materials. (expensive ones, RIP, maybe he stole them) (or, you know, maybe johnny hooks him up)

Still using polycarb lenses, cause they are still the most durable and heat-resistant eyewear protection you can get from what I can find online. AFAIK things like polyether ether ketone (PEEK) and polysulfone aren't really used for eyewear, and a lot of really heat resistant plastic is naturally opaque (or amber in the case of polysulfone) (and much more expensive) or has other significant drawbacks so, he can't just make Teflon lenses or whatever lmao.

BUT

he makes a spare mask with aluminized lenses instead of his perforated vinyl sandwich ones so he can have an Extra heat resistant mask in case of emergencies

looks pretty slick if you ask me

As far as fabric goes, he switches to aramid fibers, which are more expensive but like... More durable than polyester spandex sports blends, more fire resistant, etc. and he knows Johnny Storm (like... budding friendship at this point) so Johnny can also probably hook him up with shit like racing gear, nomex hoods and the like.

I am considering Polartec's Power Stretch FR for later on but that was literally introduced in 2009 so Peter's def not using that yet, but afaict it's a rayon/modacrylic/aramid/spandex blend so I think Peter probably can find something that via like, Nomex/spandex blends and stuff, and Nomex itself has been around for a while.

also decided he switches to sewing the front spider on as well as the back spider.

anyway

next suit is Spidey Formalwear

Peter makes this—well he makes the mask and gloves—to wear to Johnny's wedding when they are still both in their early 20s in 2010.

This isn't exactly the same as what happened w/ Lyja in the comics but Johnny's not in a very good place atm

Peter can tell something's wrong but he can't figure out what it is (and neither can anyone else) It won't take long for Johnny to get a divorce though.

Anyway Peter's approach to formalwear as a weird 22 year old def falls under "if it's shiny, that makes it fancy" LMAO — i just thought it would be nice to take it a step further than tossing a tux on top of his regular suit, like, sure the stretch satin he got wasn't exactly expensive but he made the effort for his friend's wedding. He cares.

Look at him, wearing patent leather shoes.

anyway onward

So in 2013 Peter makes an electro-proof suit 👀

I put what some might consider an "unreasonable" amount of thought into this suit and indeed it's been driving me nuts for like three days trying to figure it out... but I finally figured it out.

it's a wetsuit. (actually, it's not, it's handmade, BUT it is a wetsuit pattern and materials, mainly double-layered neoprene rubber laminated with heat resistant fabrics)

That wasn't what was driving me nuts.

What was driving me nuts was the fact that I was trying to figure out how to get a conductive layer on top of it that didn't look like shit and wouldn't destroy my hand to draw.

Why? Well, it turns out that linemen working on power lines often wear conductive (so, ugly silvery gray) clothing to act as a kind of Faraday cage to protect them from arc flashes and other stray electrical outputs, in addition to usually insulated gloves and boots.

And I thought... I want to do that.

And then I spent a lot of time trying to make it work in a way that wasn't ugly and I was like, oh wow, they make conductive metal screen printing ink? and then i was like, oh never mind this shit is $200 for 100mL MINIMUM and while peter has a real job, spending hundreds, possibly thousands of dollars on nanoparticle ink is completely out of the question, friendship with the f4 aside (that would have been the easy way out XD) (i mean, they still might be helping him out w/ the neoprene hookup etc)

(at least the safety glasses are relatively inexpensive.... >things peter says to himself at 1 am while blind-stitching panels of neoprene together)

so i was like, ugh, maybe stainless steel thread? but it was just ugly.

BUT THEN

I REALIZED

Peter can just make his own conductive colloidal silver (and copper, and carbon black) screen printing ink at home and it will be the correct kind to print on synthetics (plastisol, instead of aqueous) and cost him like. $50. a FRACTION of the price. granted, i didn't factor in the cost of stretch additives etc but it's still significantly cheaper and Peter with a BS in engineering absolutely has the knowledge and equipment to do that in like. his kitchen. so that solved my problem and I solved the ugly dilemma by just having him use three different kinds of conductor for the different colors.

Now, is this a realistic and practical way to make a Faraday suit? I SINCERELY doubt it.

But it's fine. comic books. now he's got a fully insulated base layer with a semi-conductive top layer to guide electricity across the surface (rather than scorching it) (but it IS fire resistant neoprene) and more importantly it looks cool.

(i'm sure that was expensive too but a bunch of neoprene is probably still cheaper in the long run than buying a quarter gallon's worth of conductive ink (several thousand dollars in total) so it feels more justifiable to me that he could save up some side money to custom order nomex laminated rubber)

so basically, tldr it's an insulated faraday suit that also happens to be (mostly) identical to your average double-lined wetsuit.

Here's his shoes. They're grounded (which i think is mostly for anti-static purposes irl but i figured it would fit here well, like, oh the screen printed conductive dots guide the electricity over the aramid surface and to the grounding strip) and the soles are vulcanized rubber like his lens frames.

aaaand johnny gave him some expensive sweat wicking fire resistant racecar driving underwear to wear under there since it's sweaty and i kept seeing websites about linemen's protective gear mentioning FR base layers

it just so also happens to feature several EXTREMELY prominent Adidas logos (this is real btw you can google "Adidas Climacool Nomex racing underwear" and they existed in 2013 which i know because being unreasonable as i am i used the wayback machine to look at a racing supply website to double check because I REALLY wanted him to use the adidas one specifically because of the Climacool part on account of the fact that he is encased in several millimeters of completely non-porous rubber and he IS going to sweat like a pig in there especially in the middle of summer)

(also because i think it's funny to cover him in adidas logos)

lol

oh he also makes a set of Mk. III-E (for electro) web shooters that are double-insulated with a new formula of non-conductive, anti-static webbing (his normal webbing is extremely the opposite of both of those things) (and very flammable) so that Electro can't shock him through his web shooters.

aaaand

that's it for post one

post two (Peter's unstable molecule suits gifted by the Fantastic Four) is >HERE<

post three (Peter's suits after his aunt dies) is >HERE<

[wetforestrat]

I don’t think I’ll ever not have denial or feel as if I’m wrong, I really don’t want to be wrong about this, it wouldn’t make sense if I was. But I don’t have a lot of information & I guess more common experiences as other systems.

Idk what to do cuz I’m tired of going back and forth and feeling as if I’m wrong about it. I’m also very tired of not remembering what I need to remember cuz it impacts me everyday and I can’t heal it if I don’t know it! I’m tired of waiting for memories to pop up, but I can’t do any research without dissociating or amnesia barriers getting in the damn way!

Like what if I’m wrong about having any sort of ramcoa experiences, that doesn’t even sound right to say I didn’t but I feel like I’m wrong because I can’t fully remember any of it! But when I read about it I dissociate and that makes me think “well yes you did go through that!”

I want to know ffs just tell me!!

[onlineproblems]

@jjohnnyutah okay I'm out of the shower. here goes, the xfiles word vomit

i wish i remembered more of season 1 and i guess 2 but i started watching like a year ago and i wasnt sure how i felt about it at the time and sort of half paid attention to the majority of the episodes. i plan to rewatch anyway but most of my excitement for the show peaked around mid-late season 2, when i felt like i knew what was going on (that didnt last) and i understood the dynamics between all the characters.

nobody could ever guess /s but i ADORE scully. i love and identify with her repressed catholic/survivors guilt and inability to express herself and the way she puts too much of herself into a quest that wasn't even hers to start with. and then finally opens up and leaves her shell and gets to be silly later in the show with a wry, dry humor that complements mulder's goofiness.

i think the baby arc is one of the dumbest things i've ever seen (not that i've seen all of it yet, but jesus it's so dumb). maybe it's because i'm a bitter childless hag but i dont relate to her intense desire to have children and i feel like when she got pregnant the writers absolutely mauled her personality to death. ffs they already put her through every other torture they could devise, why not a lobotomy? everyone knows motherhood makes you weak-willed and stupid. i mean im exaggerating but it's because the anger is fresh lol.

I'm so so scared to watch the revival because i don't want it to warp my nostalgic understanding of the characters. i love them and want them to live forever in a little bubble in Vancouver, fighting the moth men (yes that ep was so good) and getting up to shenanigans while CSM and Krycek does his incompetent bullshit off to the side.

I've seen several people talk about Jewish Mulder and i think the idea makes a lot of sense, and didn't they even reference it a time or two in the show? like the ep with the golem? i got mad when they gave him a Christian burial lol.

i like mulder's appreciation for the beauty in the weird and how he doesn't give a shit for what anyone thinks of him except Scully. i like that he's so wrapped up in the wonders out there but is also staunchly atheistic.

i didn't want Samantha's disappearance to be solved because it seemed like such a trite ending to mulder's trauma and the ultimate mystery in his life. i guess it was a good enough solution, but her abduction was what fueled him and gave him meaning and to wrap it up with a bow felt...idk, dismissive almost. i wanted closure for him but not necessarily answers. if your life's meaning is to search for answers, and suddenly you can have all the answers to the universe, where do you find meaning then? I may not be making sense lmao

and i think that's when i enjoy the x files most, when it's not trying to package things all neatly. maybe it's trying to ask a question, or maybe it's just trying to have fun, or both, but it's not trying too hard. the mythology is too much for me and frankly detracts from my enjoyment of... it. they wanted something epic and mysterious and then couldn't make any sense out of their own cryptic bullshit.

self-contained episodes like clyde bruckman, asking a question about determinism and big stuff like that without getting preachy or condescending, are excellent.

there's a hundred other things i could say but... that's enough for now lol.

[bemtevis]

Yessss to everything you said!! Like it was the best book in the series, but I feel like maybe the focus on a certain kind of romance and the abundance of characters really led everything else to be sort of brushed aside or easily sorted out??

Struggling to put it into words but I think it boils down to cc having these cool concepts but just not delivering. One of the reasons the way Elias' death happened in choi was so pointless was because we didn't get to see Cordelia interact much with her father beforehand, it was just an oh no! he's dead! moment for her to feel sad about and cause conflict with James, when it could have really made Cordelia grapple with realisation that her father was not who she thought he was, and had her deal with that face to face. While handled a little better, the lack of mourning for Christopher really just exposes how his death was just there for the sake of it, and there was so much more that could have been explored, and emotions that could have been drawn out if she'd focused on the grief for him??

Other than mentioning that he has experience looking after drunk people because of his dad, and the little bit about not wanting to run away like his father, Alastair as far as I remember didn't really speak about his trauma and seems great by the end and,,, happy for him!! but would have liked to see his traumas talked about a little more and taken a little more seriously by the narrative tbh. Idk, as I write this I'm like maybe I'm being super picky with this one but I guess I will always want more Alastair content lol

Thomas' character is also just a giant example of cc underutilising what she's created, like you've presented this character and set up for him to be a little resentful of the one-dimensional way he's viewed as the kind one. That's so interesting!! Lean further into that and show that that's why he appreciates how Alastair used to speak his mind and stand up for himself at the academy, and use it to inform their relationship and Thomas' own personal growth! She tells us he's grown into himself more at the end but she doesn't fully explore it or show it. Would have liked to have seen more recognition of his talents with language as well but she literally seemed to gift his farsi skills to James lol

Also making everything about Charles' sexuality and having to come out felt really weird, as him wanting to stay in the closet is honestly the only thing I have sympathy for. And Ari and Charles being mentioned to be friends, we were robbed

And also can't believe no mentions of Thomas' tattoo throughout like it just seems a little weird considering there is some build up there of its emotional significance and link to Alastair?? Anyways chot was a good experience but there are just so many things cc seems to have forgot about, sorry for the rambles lol I really should just make my own post

I come across as so negative here lmao I genuinely really enjoyed the book

Managing that many characters, plus their individual relationships, is extremely difficult to pull of, and it's clear that CHOT fell short on many aspects. An easy way to fix the aftermath of Kit's death was just not to kill him! It was so unnecessary! Or at least spare us a few more paragraphs to grieve him properly, ffs.

On paper, I can see why his death (and Elias', as you said) would be impactful. But you can't just have something that big happen without building up to it and giving it a proper conclusion, which neither of them had! With the CHOI deaths specifically, it seemed obvious to be that CC wanted to kill some beloved characters but not any of the main ones. That's why she hit us in the head with the 'Italian Shadowhunter' thing; so we'd create a connection to her, but it didn't work! We barely knew Filomena, and Elias, and that lady who was nice to Thomas! It just doesn't work, and it was such a waste.

No, I totally agree! I don't remember any specific quotes, but it felt like every time Alastair mentioned his past, no one even acknowledged it. I don't expect a whole section where he goes to therapy or anything, but it'd would've been nice to hear Thomas say "you didn't deserve any of that, you're so strong but you shouldn't have had to be, you can rest now" instead of a thousandth Thomastair make out scene.

Thomas was so underutilized! Once again, I understand the whole book couldn't have been focused on him, but Matthew's reaction to him being in love with Alastair felt like such a cop out tbh. And an easy way to solve it would've been not to have Matthew be so bad to Alastair in the first place! He can still deflect his own guilt and hatred onto him, I know that's a part of his character (that was also brushed off), but maybe not treat him like the Devil himself. Thomas' annoyance with being 'the kind one' was completely forgotten, when it could've been one of the best arcs in the series.

Absolutely, yes! It's like CC forgot what her own character was like. Harassing and cornering Alastair? Disrespecting his boundaries? The fucking age gap? Charles' choice to stay closeted was the only thing I respected about him, and yet Clare's vendetta against closeted people continues. It's a pattern and it's not a great one.

And Thomas' tattoo, yeah! CC gave Thomastair way too many things (the tattoo, songwriting, Paris, farsi speaking, Alastair's hair, the list goes on) then realized she couldn't possibly fit it all in one book so she just abandoned most of it. Also, I really wish Thomas would've given Alastair one compliment throughout the book. His inner voice tells him to shut up when he's being cheesy, but I wish he would've let something slip and Alastair would've been glad because cheesy is exactly what he needs, okay! Someone read poetry to that boy!

KJfjskdfjsd I get you, I bitch a lot but it was legitimately the best book in the trilogy. Thank you for the ask!

[cassatine]

rewatched ep10 and honestly it is growing on me. enjoyed it a lot more this time. extremely long meta post (almost 4k) spoiling pretty much everything under the cut.

the visenya birth scene is harrowing and rhaenyra rocking her dead girl in her arms... emotional devastation.

i wish we'd had more time with rhaenyra's internal conflict over what to do. i wanted to see her angry and more visibly torn over duty (she is her father's chosen heir and aegon a wanker) vs duty (the 7K united for the future winter). i wanted to see her in full ugly grief mode. but on rewatch it's like... she can't!! no full ugly grief mode for her because she has to hold her shit together, because she has to hold everything else together and daemon is too busy having his own unhinged breakdown to be of any help whatsoever (he's more of a problem lbr). i'm pretty sure she spends most of the ep wishing she could just have her own breakdown over her dead dad, her dead baby, her ex bestie betraying her, and daemon's skyrocketing level of unhingedness, but she simply fucking can't because if she does everything's going to explode in her face.

on monumental miscommunication: the show this week local couple completely fails to understand each other's positions because they are not operating from the same set of variables and unaware of it: she thinks he knows about the aegon prophecy of winter, he has zero idea there even is an aegon prophecy to know until she drops the bomb. on rewatch it is really rewarding to see how much the aegon prophecy informs rhaenyra's position on everything and how much it *doesn't* informs daemon's.

i still kinda wish we'd had more of a follow up on rhaenyra choosing fear with the laenor fake murder to hitch up with her uncle because so sue me i was absolutely there for the unhinged partners in love, politics & war crimes kind of dynamic but then again. the situation in ep10 is not at all what rhaenyra was planning for at the time. she wanted people to be afraid of the shit they could pull, so that no one would be too much of a problem when the time came for her to take the throne, and for that daemon's reputation and overall daemon-ness was an asset. or at least looked like one to her (it wasn't an asset, like ok sure intimidation factor but also it'd have lost her the support of people who weren't fans of the idea of daemon ruling, and people absolutely would have believed daemon was the one who called the shots. also it near lost her the velaryons and the velaryons are the main fleet. the math was bad). instead turns out she has to decide between duty (she is her father's chosen heir and aegon a wanker) vs duty (the 7K united for the future winter). the fact that daemon is the sort to war crime first and think later (on top of the prophecy miscommunication fail) isn't really an asset in this situation it's more of a huge fucking problem.

even if he knew about the prophecy... he'd probably be a bit more understanding of her position, and her his, but i don't think it'd have changed things that much because *if* he'd bought it, he would have fixated on the part about a targ sitting on the throne being necessary, and he would argue alicent's kids aren't targ enough so of course rhaenyra has to go to war to park her ass on the throne. they would then have a huge row because rhaenyra would say oh are you saying my boys with not-laenor aren't targ enough??

idk what to think about rhaenys 'i came to warn you out of loyalty to my husband and to my house' it really bugged me on first watch because she's a targ too ffs buuut she's been ambivalent about rhaenyra for a while (pretty reasonable what with her thinking rhaenyra had her son killed to hitch up with daemon) so... guess it works. and it makes sense that the thing that actually gets her on rhaenyra's side in the end is not being gung-ho about war because that'd have been why she didn't try to push her claim & go to war herself after viserys got chosen by the lords as the new king on the basis of *checks notes* having a dick.

otoh the thing with rhaenys not wanting war probably for the good of all is the same thing with alicent's 'a true queen counts the cost to her people' (alicent you are bad at math and if you *had* done that you would have looked at aegon and gone eeehr. that was a bullshit line) which is that rhaenys also smashed a bunch of peasants just last episode because none of these people ought to actually care about the masses (other than rhaenyra, but only in the sense that she knows about the aegon prophecy -- caring about adverting the end of the world and the death of humanity isn't really the same as caring that people don't die in your war for power) they are medievish rulers, they ought to believe in absolutism AND other than alicent they're all targs, they also ought to have liked subscribed followed on targ exceptionalism.

jace being mean to luce when they're having their bit of training on the beach makes me sad but on top of "send us" being his idea it's just gonna make him even more devastated. like not only was it idea for them to be their mom's envoys but also the last time they had bro time he was a meanie to luce… the sheer amount of angst he's gonna carry around next season!!

kind of funny: the fact that daemon and rhaenyra did not take five to discuss their options / air shit out & have daemon update her on what he's been doing already (ravens sent etc) in private before the war council (part one) around the extremely awesome-looking candlelit painted table. it's giving me ep3 rhaenyra & viserys public fight vibes. same mistake of making dissension a public spectacle, which in this case is pretty bad optics-wise. everyone can see rhaenyra doesn't know what moves daemon already made, and that they are not in agreement at all. most likely it's because they are pissed at each other and also grieving (but mostly pissed). and probably no amount of discussion would have gotten them on the same page, but at least they wouldn't have had a fight in front of everyone five minutes after he crowned her. maybe they could also have avoided the huge miscommunication issue re: the aegon prophecy.

otto scene paralleling ep2 is yummy (kinda wish criston had been there to be a bitch about stuff tbh) but also rhaenyra just miscarried i don't think she should be flying. the terms otto brings are VERY interesting (they are mostly alicent's, otto is a liar and his intentions for the long term are still absolutely to get rhaenyra and her fam killed, because as long as she's alive there will be people to say she was the heir, she should have been queen, either because they believe it, either because aegon is a shithead, either because opportunism etc etc); they're giving rhaenyra dragonstone, ie the most targ place in westeros, the traditional seat of the heir to the throne, and also where there are all the wild dragons and also an island not that far from king's landing on dragonback, so it's kind of like telling her you can keep most of the nukes and stay in our backyard it's fine. the terms also imply that they'll stop calling her kids bastards and make it royal policy that they aren't since jacaerys would inherit dragonstone & lucerys driftmark. the catch is the part about aegon the third and viserys being given 'positions of high honor at the court', which really means they are to be hostages for rhaenyra & daemon's good behavior. also otto said what i've been saying, which is that his faction was never reacting to anything rhaenyra did or didn't do ('she could be jaehaerys returned and it still wouldn't matter') and had been planning to crown aegon ii since he was a baby, because he was born with a dick and otto & hobert are thirsty for power. also lol at 'stale oaths' this shit is the foundation upon which feudalism stands but ok. stale oaths. side of honor and decency, lol.

i'm still meh about the book page moment. i want it to work for me because alicent & rhaenyra are the core of everything and it is a neat callback to ep1, it just... doesn't. it feels so alicent, the appeal to past friendship, but the book page itself feels contrived and i don't really buy that otto wouldn't have thrown it into the sea. also the family dinner from hell was about three days ago so it's not like rhaenyra would have forgotten the temporary rekindling of frienship or alicent saying she'd make a good queen only to put her own wanker son on the throne. idk it's not that she shouldn't be sad and yearning for the good old days but. i guess i think she should be kinda pissed too.

when daemon says 'the enemy declared war already' at the war council (part two)... he is being especially unhinged and bitchy, and him and rhaenyra REALLY should have taken five to air shit out in private after otto left -- but he isn't wrong either. neither of them are wrong, but again: they aren't operating from the same set of variables. rhaenyra is considering the cost of going to war with the aegon prophecy in mind, and daemon doesn't know about it. what daemon is considering is what he knows about how shit works, and what he knows about otto ("a second son that stands to inherit nothing but what he seizes for himself") (and also he is still in unhinged breakdown mode) and he probably realizes otto's terms are bullshit... because otto wasn't exactly wrong about his 'being the challenge' thing. if rhaenyra had been crowned there would always have been people to say, well aegon has a dick so he ought to bethe one sitting on the sword chair, even if he's an incompetent drunken wanker -- and while i very much doubt rhaenyra would have had her half-siblings executed to shore up her claim as soon as she got on said chair, it's very likely aegon ii would have been a problem at some point or another, not especially because of anything he'd do, but because he'd be a rallying point for discontents and opportunists. and now with aegon ii crowned there will also always be people to say that viserys changing his mind at the last minute is hightower bullshit, that his chosen heir was rhaenyra so she should be on the chair, ie she will always be a danger to aegon ii, and it's only when she's dead and her whole family with her that the doubts about aegon ii's legitimacy as king will die -- if only because then there would be no other pseudo-legally viable option than him left. and otto absolutely is the kind of person who'd make it happen, he has been planning on it since aegon was born, he's not gonna change that just because alicent said 'no i don't wanna'. plus the offer to give dragonstone to rhaenyra really is a huge red flag: otto said aegon ii had all the symbols of legitimacy, but dragonstone traditionally is the heir's seat, it is also a symbol of legitimacy and pet nukes island, there's just no way otto would really be fine letting the one threat to aegon ii just live out her days there even if he had two of her kids as hostages. his side of the fam is also missing another targ legitimacy symbol in dark sister. otto plays a long game, and for now he's just humouring alicent.

so yeah from daemon's perspective of prophetic ignorance, otto hatedom and general daemon-ness understanding of the world, if the blacks don't do a war, not only are they gonna have to hand over aegon the third and viserys ii to *otto* as hostages, but they'll also get to spend the rest of their life waiting for a sad regrettable accident to happen to them. he isn't considering the third option, which is get the fuck out of dodge and go back to pentos or wherever because he is in unhinged breakdown mode, and also if not him he wants rhaenyra on his bro's throne.

i'm still fine with the choking. makes sense to me. he's having his unhinged man breakdown over what he thinks is his bro getting murdered, and another breakdown on top over the visenya situation. the fact that his brother (he thinks) got murdered and the news sent rhaenyra straight to miscarriage... it's kill bill siren on repeat in his head and nothing else. dude spends the whole episode wanting to kill someone - wanting to kill a lot of someone. plus he is pissed at rhaenyra for not being gung-ho about war from the start. he is also pissed she didn't let him kill otto, whom he hates probably more than anyone else ever and probably expects will not rest until his and rhaenyra's whole family is dead. and he is pissed rhaenyra isn't listening to him because he's the one with the war experience and whatever, and on that one he 100% thinks he knows better. and he is high on targ exceptionalism as ever. and he is also very upset to learn about the aegon prophecy because viserys never told him, and under the swag and the overperformance of gender he is at his core a pathetic insecure little bitch hungry for big bro's approval, and this to him (and to rhaenyra) would confirm viserys never truly trusted him nor ever saw him as a viable heir. ever. also: poor impulse control is not new.

rhaenys and corlys not being on the same page for most of the season is kinda funny but mostly sad. corlys reconsidering velaryon ambition and support for rhaenyra HAS to happen when rhaenys is like 'actually... i kinda support her now'. she also confirms jace luce and joff their official grandchildren won't be safe as long as aegon ii sits the throne. (it is however meh that she didn't mention baela & rhaena who are their real grandkids, and also at risk because they are now betrothed to jace & luce. very uncool.) reversal of position to the nines, considering she used to be the one to say they weren't really their grandkids and that rhaenyra had laenor killed, which is now corlys' point to make. her position doesn't really make sense tho -- she says she supports rhaenyra because she is demonstrating restraint when everyone around her wants to go to war (which is sort of funny when you consider rhaenyra might have been as gung-ho about war as everyone else if not for the aegon prophecy, once again it's all about who knows what) but at the same time if jace luce & joff (and by extension baela & rhaena) are in danger as long as aegon ii sits the throne then... how is war not inevitable?

'you father's realm was one of justice and honor' is so fucking funny to me coming from corlys, who spent most of the season arguing it was complete injustice that his wife was cheated out of the throne. a+ no notes bitchiest backhanded compliment.

it's also really funny to me that rhaenyra tells the kids to swear on the seven because it's not like she's shown any care for the faith previously, and what with the oldtown link it's pretty unlikely any show of religion would get the faith on her side rather than the hightowers'. it's a weird decision and i don't really get the point. might make more sense later on tho.

another thing i do not really get: what is daemon even doing with vermithor other than looking cool?? on the one hand it's just as well he fucked off because the war council really went more smoothly without him but otoh what is he doing serenading a dragon that isn't caraxes?? is he intending to cheat on the noodle boi?? the whole point of that scene escapes me like ok bunch of dragons to claim on dragonstone... but if he's looking to organize blind dates then why is he alone.

baby lucerys giving me all the feels in this ep, and also making me wish we'd had more time with rhaenyra's kids to make everything more devastating. i get that aegon & aemond would get more screentime this season because they're going to last longer while lucerys dies especially early on, but isn't that reason to give him more time to steal all our hearts!! same with rhaenyra as a mother imo it wouldn't have hurt to get more of that for maximum impact when she learns about lucerys getting eaten. especially since the timeskips already meant we don't really see her go from not wanting kids because of aemma trauma to having like half a soccer team worth of them.

i do wish we'd gotten more time in storm's end too, but the whole fail visit shows rhaenyra fucked up in at least two big ways: 1) she just asked for fealty and while yeah oaths were sworn and all that jazz... like boros said, aegon ii's side at least came with an offer. the thing to do is to offer something when you're asking someone to go to war for you and not that other guy. if not a son's hand then a position on the small council or whatever. 2) her kids weren't prepared -- or at least lucerys wasn't prepared to treat with boros. baby boy doesn't know what the fuck he is doing, and he does the best he can but someone with actual experience would have known not to stop at 'well sorry sir i'm already betrothed' and made some counter-offer or another.

sapphire reveal YES. aemond being so good at being a scary mofo until it turns out he's basically a kid too?? that hit way more on rewatch. on first watch i really didn't like the specifics of how things went down with lucerys -- i went in knowing it would be an accident what with the leak, but not the exact details, and i really expected aemond to fuck up because he was so fixated on revenge he'd take it a step too far and that'd be the accident so on the moment it felt cheap when it turned out to be the dragons. now i think it's not at all a bad change for a show that's trying to show everyone's humanity and amp up the tragedy of it all.

and all in all i do think it did a good job at accounting for f&b canon while doing something different, because while the actual death is sort of an accident and aemond didn't want shit to get quite that far... it was still rather unhinged behavior of him to go all 'an eye for an eye i'll give it to mommy revenge revenge revenge'. he was out there doing the evil anime laugh, living out his dream of being the scariest dude around and finally getting himself some revenge... and it was fun and enjoyable for like five minutes and then it wasn't! probably the first time he actually kills anyone. but also lbr it wasn't that much better an idea than to straight up kill lucerys in light of what it'd do to the negotiation process and all that. and the fact that he called lucerys my lord strong & bastard when his mother's terms to rhaenyra imply the green will finally acknowledge jace luce & joff as legitimate... neat. of course aemond of all people couldn't let it go.

the thing that sold me on the no control over dragons was remembering back in ep1 when viserys said... we don't control the dragons the idea that we do is an illusion. full circle! i guess it is kinda sexy and not actually boring to have the war start like that. daemon is out there spouting his 'dragons will win us the war' spiel and meanwhile. dragons panicking. vhagar eating lucerys. also fits with the "ten thousands ways this could have been avoided (it was always going to be this way)" approach. and it all fits with the fact that show aemond is more of a wannabe edgelord at this stage of the story; his best war crimes era is still ahead of him, and i am curious to see how s2 goes from there. he isn't really the sort to tell people it was an accident imo (maybe to alicent) but even if he was, the thing is he can't actually tell to people it was an accident... because you can't tell your allies and possible allies and more generally your bro's subjects that woopsie! you can't control your pet nuke all that well actually. that's really, really, really bad press, even worse than doing a war crime. like. being led by dudes who do war crimes is one thing because they do the war crimes to the other side, but being led by dudes who don't control their pet nukes all that well means the pet nuke could eat you.

the only reason there could be to tell anyone is convincing rhaenyra it was an accident, but she wouldn't believe it from eamond (he of the toast escalation). and even if she magically learned all about how shit went down... she wouldn't see it as an accident because in the end aemond did pursue lucerys, who was just an envoy under explicit orders not to fight, with the intent to take an eye for an eye to bring back to his mommy and that's the reason there could even be an accident.

also ironic that aemond probably did more to save the daemyra marriage (and maybe even their cause) than anyone else in this ep because if he hadn't accidentally war crimed lucerys, giving them cause to war crime back? they'd be fighting like crazy over how to go about things and they'd be doing it in public, and daemon would be switching from undermining rhaenyra as queen to straight up killing people who don't bow low enough to her at least three times a day and that would not make their side very popular let's be real.

in the end i kinda wish this ep could have been the council of the blacks as a pendant to the council of the greens, things would have had more time to breathe. doesn't make for a killer season finale but maybe an eleventh ep with a longer stom's end passage (awkward diner!!) + blood & cheese idk.

buut then again that final scene... what a way to finish the ep & the season!! everything about it is so!! perfect!! love that we pretty much see only rhaenyra & daemon's backs throughout and yet you just fucking know what she's feeling. her little faltering step!! her hands on her stomach!! she's losing another baby... and when she does turn to the camera... her pissed off face, the way it just screams she's done... for the whole episode she's been trying so, so hard to do that thing alicent thinks she keeps giving the finger to, she's been trying to do her duty, she's been trying not to fall into pieces, she's been trying to hold shit together and do what she thinks viserys would have wanted her to do ie keeping the peace, she's been putting the aegon prophecy above everything else, she's been trying not give in to anger and now. and now that's over. she is gonna do some war crimes of her own.

[spencer-reids-adventures]

hello! i absolutely adore your writing style- you are so talented. i think i read your community fanfictions??? although I not so sure If that really was you lmao -- I wanted to ask you if you could maybe write more about autistic! penelope? if not that's totally fine too. I just really like how I just "get" your spencer - I really can relate to it i mean - and I would love to read more about penelope since she is my favorite in cm!! (and also penelope centric ff are really rare????) maybe something like how everybody in the team slowly "found out" or her and her favorite stims idk im not creative lmao!! anyways this was just an idea? request? -- since I do really really enjoy ur writing-- I hope u have a great day!! xx

thank you! i have written a lot of community fic, so that was probably me, haha :) :)

here is some autistic penelope for you...

---

Penelope is in her office when Emily comes in without knocking. 

“Garcia, where did you go?” she asks. “You haven’t been answering your video calls. We need you on this case. What’s going on?”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Penelope says desperately. The monitors in front of her have been turned off. “I just– I needed a minute.”

Emily softens. “Did something happen? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Penelope flaps her hands lightly in front of her. “I just, there was so much going on in that last video we watched, it was so– so horrible and brutal and I got overwhelmed.”

“Is that why your computer is off?”

“It’s not my computer, it’s just my monitor. I’ll turn it back on in a second, I swear…”

“I guess I didn’t realize things like this affected you so much.”

“It’s hyperempathy,” Penelope explains. “I feel too much sometimes, and I don’t know what to do with it. It’s, ah… it’s a symptom of my autism.”

“Pen, I didn’t know.”

“Now you do.”

-

The video call connects quicker than Penelope anticipates, and she’s suddenly greeted by a screen full of JJ’s face.

“What’s that in your mouth?” JJ asks, scrunching her nose.

Penelope lets the silicone cookie pendant drop from her jaw, eyes wide.

“You weren’t supposed to see that,” she says quickly.

“Wasn’t supposed to see what?”

Penelope runs her fingers through her hair a few times, then tugs on the ends with her fingers.

“You weren’t supposed to know that my necklaces are chewable,” she explains. 

“Why are they chewable?”

“They’re for stimming,” Penelope tells her. “You know, for– it’s sort of a neurodivergent thing. An autism thing. I’m autistic.”

“Thanks for telling me.”

“You’re welcome.”

“You’re going to sanitize that thing, right?”

Penelope laughs. “Yes, absolutely,” she promises.

-

“Hey, mama,” Morgan answers the phone. “What do you got for me?”

Instead of a quip or some flirty innuendo, a sob comes over the line.

“Penelope?” Morgan says quickly, the smile leaving his face. “What’s wrong?”

She sobs again, but no words come out, and Morgan has already started walking down the hall to her office. When he gets through the door, she takes two steps towards him and then collapses into his arms, shaking. The lights in her office are off, the monitors dim except for one, which has Spotify pulled up, but no music playing.

“Baby girl, did something happen?”

She shakes her head but doesn’t let go of him, squeezing him tighter and tighter until he takes the hint and squeezes back. Almost immediately, he feels her relax against him.

Penelope pulls back and steps back over to her computer, where she turns on a playlist, and the music fills her office. She grabs a bunny figurine from her desk and squeezes it.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Morgan asks.

Penelope picks up her phone, and a moment later Morgan’s vibrates.

Can’t talk right now.

Morgan frowns. His phone vibrates again.

Can you just sit with me? I’ll explain later.

“Sure thing, baby girl.”

-

“Hey, Garcia, have you got any updates?” Rossi asks. 

“Have you got any updates?” Garcia repeats without thinking about it. “Yeah, I’ve got the suspects bank records right here…”

They get back to work, and no one says anything – but Rossi is confused. He’s only been working with Penelope for a few weeks at that point, and she’s still a mystery to him.

It happens again a few days later.

“Is there any more coffee in the kitchen?” Morgan asks the group.

“Coffee in the kitchen?” Garcia repeats.

“Yeah, I just opened a new bag,” Reid adds.

Rossi is confused, but doesn’t say anything until later that day when he’s alone with Garcia in her office.

“Hey,” he says. “I noticed that sometimes you tend to… repeat the things people are saying after they say them. Why do you do that?”

Penelope blushes bright red.

“I’m sorry,” she says. “It must seem really weird if you haven’t been around me much. I do it a lot – it’s called echolalia. It’s common among people who are autistic.”

“And you’re autistic?”

“I am.”

“Okay,” Rossi says. “Thanks for explaining it to me.”

-

“Hi, I’m Penelope Garcia,” she introduces herself, holding out a hand.

“I’m Spencer Reid,” her new coworker replies. “I, uh, don’t shake hands.”

“Cool,” Penelope replies. “Nice to meet you.”

She catches him spinning in his chair later that afternoon, and tapping on his desk with his fingers in patterns whenever he’s not actively writing or doing something else with them. 

Over the next few days, she notices that he gets his coffee at exactly the same times every single day, and he often whispers under his breath before speaking, and he’s got a drawer full of fidget toys in his desk.

“Are you autistic?” she blurts out when he’s in her office one afternoon, then slaps her hand over her mouth in embarrassment. “I’m sorry,��� she says. “That was inappropriate, I think.”

“You’re fine,” Spencer says with a small smile. “Yes, I am. You too?”

“How could you tell?”

He shrugs. “I wasn’t sure until you asked me just now. It takes one to know one, I guess.”

“I guess,” Penelope laughs.

“Anyway, welcome to the BAU,” he says. “It’s nice to have someone on the team who gets it.”

“It is, isn’t it,” Penelope says with a smile. “I’m happy to be here, and I’m happy you’re here too.”

-

On Penelope’s first day of work, Hotch takes her aside and leads her into his office, closing the door behind them.

“I’ve got the information from your resume,” he says, “as well as your arrest file. But I want to know if there’s anything else you’d like to tell me about yourself before you officially begin as our technical analyst.

“Like what?”

“Anything. If you have any allergies. If you have any disabilities that might require accommodation. If you have any unique talents or challenges we haven’t discussed. Anything about yourself that you’d like me to know or like to have on file.”

Penelope hesitates, debating back and forth whether she wants to disclose such a private piece of herself. On one hand, she doesn’t trust these people. On the other, she does trust Hotch, who kept her out of prison – and to be honest, she could use the accommodations.

“I’m autistic,” she finally says. “I can bring you proof of my diagnosis if you need it.”

“That would be great,” Hotch replies. “Let’s discuss what kind of accommodations we can get going for you.”

[cattycoopy]

Oh boy!

Where should I start?

I've watched the trailers and demo for FF VII

Idk how often!

The tornado of some sorts, from the summer game fest trailer could be the parallel timelines event to sector 7 being destroyed, as we've not seen cloud among the victims but everyone else. And the recent trailer starts at the exact same scene, but with Zack carrying cloud.

In the German trailer, when Vincent is revealed, he doesn't ask who's "disturbing my slumber" he straight up says "can't I have nightmares (in peace)", anyway,that's funny.

I had this theory for a while now: As we already know, rebirth will end at the forgotten City/Town. So I don't think they will put in aeriths death or having Zack sacrificing himself at the last minute. I think it is Zacks and aeriths fate to be together, so why even remotely kill her, when Zack's alive? Or maybe I'm too sentimental here.

Why does Zack shove Cloud into Kiries arms when could sit him down somewhere nearby and ask her to watch over?! He did that before!

What if, the mako poisoned cloud from the Zack living timeline disappeared as the lines join together, Zack looks for him not knowing what just happened. He then hears of a blond ex-soldier with a similar sword to him. Zack finds Cloud during one of clouds attacks, and tries to help him through. How Clouds psyche would handle this idk. The rest is in shock like during the attack after freeing red 13, so they wonder who that black haired guy is and want to take him away. But then aerith or maybe even tifa recognise him and Zack joins the group. OR Zack finds Cloud somehow after falling into the Lifestream before tifa is there.(idk the original so I know a summary of the events after midgar, correct me if I'm wrong with the last part) I would find this awfully sweet. But guess we'll see what happened to Zack and if he joins the crew in the last part of the trilogy. Im sorry it got so long. I'm so excited for rebirth!

[starvingtongue]

🔥 my hot take about the roleplaying community ⭐️ my roleplay pet peeves 🔑 my favorite type of threads

My experience in the Roleplaying Community // Accepting! // @ofmoonlily

🔥 my hot take about the roleplaying community

I can't speak for other communities, but the ff rpc feels like it's become a lot more selective, private, and, idk a lot less friendly, open and warm? There's a definite, and very stark, difference between when I started roleplaying in it back in 2013ish, to even back in 2017, not to mention now. I don't know exactly what changed, and I know people still have fun (otherwise what's the point of being here, right?), yes people are older & have more going on, and I know there's been bits of drama with people over the years, but sometimes I really, really miss how it used to be.

People would do crack more often, it feels like people were more willing to do events or joint verses/AUs, try out new muses, stick around for a lot longer, there was a lot less focus on graphics & aesthetics, people would send each other world building questions or anons a lot more. Heck, I know some of them could be problematic as fuck, but Magic Anons were fun as fuck back in the day. Paine got turned into a potato once. I feel like a lot more people were willing to be stupid with their muses, be a lot more open to roleplaying with others within the fandom (and outside of it, I have many a happy thread memory with characters who were from different fandoms than my muse), if that makes sense? Which I guess is the point of crack, but w/e. I'm pretty sure it's me looking back with rose tinted glasses and a nostalgic sense of things, I wish the community was not only large enough to do these sorts of things, but also more willing? idk man, maybe the first step beings with me, but I just miss it.

⭐️ my roleplay pet peeves

I'm sure this has been said several times over, but those really tiny icons that are sized at, like 60x60, that have been so fried by saturation that it's almost impossible to actually see what the icon is. That really drives me bonkers and I don't even have any wrong with my eyes, so I can't imagine how it must feel for someone who suffers from visual impairments or those sorts of things trigger migraines or things like that. Thankfully, I think the rpc has gotten over this trend, for the most part, and a lot of people are reconsidering 'their aesthetic' for those that might be affected by this sorta stuff. But, every so often something'll pop up that'll remind me of it.

🔑 my favorite type of threads

Honestly, it really depends on the muse. For Anima, I really love the softer or more angsty type of threads. Her time in Guadosalam with Jyscal & baby Seymour, her and Seymour's exile and eventual pilgrimage, and then her joining with Yuna. I've really enjoyed threads with her post-X-2, but they don't hit the same. I think it's the same for Tromell as well, or most of my FF related muses & Shachath as well tbh? I feel like the majority my FF muses either aren't really the 'soft' types, and as such, their 'softer' moments are few and far between (Paine, Dona, Leblanc), which is why I love writing the softer moments for them, even if they're still being their normal selves. Or the majority of their plot lines are really angsty (Anima, Tromell, Zanarkand to some extent), and I really love exploring that in threads.

I'm throwing Shachath in here, more on the soft yet angsty side, because they only really appear when someone's dead, dying, or really considering their own demise. I've not written them in a hot minute, but it was really nice having those sorts of threads with people, regardless of how Shachath herself might've been summoned. And Zephyr as well, now that I think about it, cause I'd really like to explore more angsty stuff with her, especially in regards to her losing her sanity & her time at Castle Volkhair.

Maybe soft & angsty threads are my favourite?

And I also really like writing shippy stuff, more so the slow burn & day-to-day aspects of shippy things. But I haven't written anything revolving around shippy-things in forever. I've had 1 ship in all of my blogs, sob, not that I'm complaining or saying people should ship with me more, but I do miss writing it.

[mysmorgasbordoffantabulosa]

I'm honestly a bit surprised by how many taekookers are feeling some type of way about the recent jkk interactions. And okay, understandably, I get feeling a bit insecure about it initially, given that we've sort of been SPOILED with the amount of taekook interactions/mentions that we've been getting recently. But if anything, the most recent jikook interactions have sort of illustrated how often they're not talking/not interacting? Idk, maybe I'm not reading enough into the interactions, but JK being genuinely excited when JM comments on his live is on par with his reactions to NJ and HS, because as we can infer from the things that the other members have said, none of them had really been seeing much of JK, with the exception of Tae (as we know since there have been multiple sightings of them out and about, and the way they have talked about each other/talk to each other during the interactions that we do get). JK watching Suchwita on live and reacting to it was honestly such a lovely thing. It's obvious that he misses them a lot and he's just so incredibly endeared by yoonmin's interactions (idk how it's been twisted into JK being endeared and having heart eyes for ONLY JM, because that ain't it). But honestly, I feel like several of the things that JK said during that live were pretty telling that he sort of has no idea what JM's been up to, and that he had no insight into the album (aside from Letter). He mentioned not knowing who wrote the second verse of SMF pt 2 that he liked, he was surprised that JM was doing fancalls, and in JM's live the next day, he said he would go to JM's next performance at a music show indicating that he didn't know that JM was done with his performances. I guess you could argue that those things don't necessarily "disprove" jkk in any way, because not everyone shares everything with their partners. But it's the little comments like that that seem pretty telling to me, imo.

Also, let's not disregard the rest of JM's album and the lyrics that he wrote. It'd be easier to write it off if he hadn't been so specific when he was talking about it. But he clearly stated that these songs are personal, the timeframe from when he was feeling those things, and that his lyrics aren't really metaphorical and mean what they mean. And none of the songs on his album are indicative of being in a healthy, long-term relationship. And since I'm on the subject of his album, Letter is definitely a song for Army lol. The alternate title was "Dear ARMY" ffs. Anyway, I'm sorry to rant in your ask box. Avid follower of your blog and I just had a lot of feelings about some of your recent asks. Hope you're having a great day!

As I've said before rants are good for the soul. It was great reading your thoughts on the matter. Wholeheartly agree Brimothy, and (some) Taekookers needed to just take chill pill.

Interesting about the album...

Face-Off - is clearly about a toxic relationship and alcoholism

Like Crazy - feels like a self reflective song (mirror imagery) but also about wanting someone

Alone - kinda feels like the theme is about repeating the same mistakes with relationships

Set Me Free Pt2 - Again it's clearly about past toxic relationship and dealing with the aftermath of it.

Letter - and when you add all this other songs together and look at letter it kinda feels like an apology to ARMY for not quite being true to himself.

Anyway those my thoughts...

[uptonobueno]

but also on the lack of queerness in the early/main characters in the tvd universe, how are they expecting us to realistically believe that these vampires, especially the ones that have been alive for multiple centuries, haven’t at least had queer sex? like first of all the mikealsons were across an entire ocean from the religions of the book, and had their viking belief system (which tbh i have not and will not do research on to see their views on gay people), somehow stayed straight for 1,000 years despite not having the religious beliefs that made homosexuality a sin? like they’re vampires, created by witches, and immortal, you’re telling me they haven’t at least had queer dalliances or relationships in the past? As if, at the very least, curiosity wouldn’t get the better of you after your fiftyleventh decade roaming the earth? like they honestly expect me to believe that rebecca NEVER had a relationship with a woman? an intense female friendship that ended up turning into more? c’monnnn, over all those years, rebecca who wanted nothing more than female comradery and community, never found a woman that said all the right things, touched all the right places, and who touching felt irresistible? please. i love her with marcel and all, but you can’t tell me she’s never had a female love and i would give an arm and a leg for a ff fanfic with rebeccaxoc in some random time period or maybe a royal court? idk something. i guess finn i can believe since he was daggered for mostly all of the time, but elijah would be a snappy theatre gay but like director or orchestra conductor or some very critical behind the scenes role that i don’t know about. kol is obviously a chaotic pansexual who usually tops but is clearly the one in control when he takes a more submissive role, like you cannot tell me that his near millenia of being close with witches left him a cis straight man, no ... my gay little heart cannot take it, like he has been pegged, he does enjoy it, he gives off the vibes that he fucks, he fucks well - you will finish, it will be fantastic, and no one is off limits. even as kaleb, kol as a character is chaotically bi or pan sexual and no one is safe. klaus is less likely to have had a significant romantic relationship with a man, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t been fucked or fucked a man. you’re telling me that, by the sheer amount of time suffered bc of immortal life, the man with the worst daddy issues of all time never questioned everything he ever learned & when first presented with the option of a male lover didn’t jump at the chance? please. we only see scheming & defensive klaus really in the show, always in some sort of combat or fight or drama, but calm klaus? good time klaus? klaus hidden away from the world, unable to be reached, or vacation klaus? art world klaus? can’t tell me the art world ain’t always been full of us queers, he’s been presented plenty of opportunities and he has partaken i guarantee you, even if it was only once to satisfy curiosity.  like i’ve only been alive for ~26 years and i’m already bored by life a lot of the time. after centuries and centuries & especially not under the influence of christianity, how would one not have had gay lovers? you’re telling me that lucian&klaus’s and elijah&tristan’s relationships didn’t feel like simple platonic friendship vibes? i feel like something happened b/w at least elijah&tristan, but tristan’s love map is creepily incestual with is sister that ofc nothing could come of it, plus the power dynamic between them, elijah - the one in charge, the one who turned him, the one who demeans him, but tristan likes it. had this been an hbo show or anything other that a cable network, tristan would absolutely follow elijah’s every command, he’s such a sub, he just has to be in charge with his sister & he was elijah’s first sire, so he can’t be embarrassing and let him down so he leads the strix, but there was something more to their relationship, cw was just didn’t show us what it was.