#fern is such a guy

[starrysmiling]

on fern and romance...

in one of the new scenes in steps v2, i have fresia tease fern about how they would be a great couple because of how comfortable he looks when he's with jax, and how he even willingly laughs and smiles, but fern argues that he doesn't like jax the same way:

...and it was really interesting to make this stand out while writing this scene, because there are several instances where i've made fern say that he's close with jax, he cares about him, or that he likes being around him:

at this point it was kinda a recurring joke between mage and i to say "and fern still says he doesn't like jax! even though he's like this with him!" but we dug a little into it, and it feels like we accidentally made all the clues point to one thing:

despite his observant nature and how much the reader can tell he obviously cares about jax, fern being unable to recognise his own feelings is because he only knows how to recognise signs of romance when they're physically expressed.

because, if you think about it, you don't really get to see the internal aspects of showing interest in someone when you observe other people. even in media, there's a lot of cases where you're shown physical external signs of attraction/romance, and that's why fern can recognise flirting, or how someone talks to someone they like, or the way jax looks at him like he deserves the world... that's exactly why he can tell that jax is in love with him, because jax wears his heart on his sleeve and is far too easy to read.

but he doesn't know any of the internal tells, which he's starting to show. and of course, fern doesn't express any of these physical signs, because he's a fucker who won't express vulnerability. this isn't really helped at all by the fact that fern doesn't have that many close friends to compare his relationships with, and that the line between the close friendship he has with jax and possible romance is very blurred, especially when he knows that jax is romantically interested in him.

it's only later (which i'll address in a different fic) that fern sorts out his feelings and what they mean, because at that point he's having a crisis over having kissed jax at the end of steps, knowing that it's a romantic gesture, knowing that jax took it as a reciprocation of his feelings, because he still doesn't think he likes jax but every fucking fibre of his body is screaming that he hates the idea of rejecting jax, for a multitude of reasons including that he doesn't want to see jax all broken up, he doesn't want to be the one who hurt him, and also his fear of abandonment is making him think that jax will just straight up cut him out of his life. and the conclusion he gets from that is that he wishes he was in love with jax, while being completely unaware that he's been walking down that path for a while now.

(which is funny, because afterwards, when he's finally sure that what he feels for jax is romantic love, he's down so bad that he's even worse than jax. fern loves and loves and loves and he cares so much but he just needs to recognise what it is.)

(one other thing i love about fern and his journey with romance is that he realises he loves jax when they're sitting together watching tv and he thinks that he likes it. that he could have more of this. that he is genuinely happy to sit next to jax and make snide comments about the shitty plotlines of tv dramas and maybe rest his cheek on jax's shoulder while he does so. jax gives him comfort and a space where he can shed himself of everything weighing on his shoulders while still being his rival and best friend and someone that fern respects with all his heart. it's no wonder that fern loves him so much.)

[fernsnailz]

my comic from the @neverturnbackzine! truly one of my favorite zines i've been a part of :]

some extra insight/fun facts about the process of this piece below the cut 💥💥💥

posting pieces from collaborative zines is always something i struggle with because i look back and think of how i would do things differently now, but i learned a lot working on this comic and even developed some style techniques that i still use!

Fun Fact 1: the panel where shadow Fucking Disintegrates That Guy is technically traditionally drawn! i couldn't get it right in clip studio so i just started frantically scribbling in a notebook and got it eventually lol

highly highly recommend scribbling stuff out in a notebook, scanning it on your phone, and then dropping it into a canvas to edit later if you ever have trouble sketching something.

Fun Fact 2: a lot of the overlay/background effects were made in Kid Pix Deluxe 3D. i created a whole collection of various textures/abstract effects for this comic that i've been using in my art since last year. you can even find them scattered through my team dark zine lol. here's a few of them:

similarly, the background at the bottom of page 2 is actually a warped photo i took of a bunch of headphone wires. this is the original:

Fun Fact 3: i made this comic during a very busy and wild period of time last year so this is what the final panel looked like for a while before i fully finished it LMAO

ok yay thanks for reading bye

[souperluminal]

Happy Ghost Trick rerelease day!

[intrinsically-disordered-proxein]

[monteruu]

pulling out the old you to replace it with something entirely new 🗡️🗡️🗡️

[image id: digital illustration of fern mertens from adventure time. he is on his hands and knees looking over towards the camera with hair covering parts of his face while the finn sword is inside of his chest. there are vines growing up the sword as fern grasps it and there is a bright green light radiating from the sword buried in his body. around him there are overlapping thorny vines. end image id.]

[mustardd]

Everyone SHHHHH he’s learning

[bookloverfangirl]

Lord Debling at the beginning of ep 4

Lord Debling at the end of ep 4

[hungry-skeleton]

Can you tell who my favorite is lol

[gbiechele]

Unfurlings

Top - Minolta MD Macro 100mm f.4.0 Middle - Minolta MC Rokkor-PG 58mm f/1.2 Bottom - Yashica Yashinon 5.5cm f/1.8 Sony A7

[grassyeggroll]

They make me ill /pos

[marbirds]

[fernsnailz]

fuck it i'm sharing gundam super omega from a comic i never plan to finish lmao

[langdonss]

[spaciebabie]

cant fucking stand this dude honestly

[blonde-bitchboys-blog]

and for my next trick, FINN MERTENS

[flippyplush]

i love this weirdo plant guy