#feral rat look runs in the family

[gawankeundco]

[yellowbrokenblue]

I fucking own you | RAFE CAMERON

You’ve been working for the Cameron’s for a few months, and a while ago you made the biggest mistake of your life- you slept with Rafe Cameron. And now, it was about to happen again. You were in too deep, and you fucking loved it.

cw: smut, rough sex, bondage, rafe is feral, dirty talk, degradation

“I asked for a drink half an hour ago. Where is it.”

He came closer and closer to you, his eyes dark and filled with pure annoyance. It wasn’t that you went out of your way to disobey Rafe’s orders, but when you had as much on your plate as you did- it became easier and easier to slip up. People have this idea in their head that being a housemaid is a simple job- but when you work for the Cameron family, it’s nowhere near simple.

“Raf- Mr Cameron. You know that my job is not to run around fetching you food and drink whenever you feel about it. I’m here to look after the house, not you.”

He scoffed.

“Talk to me like that again, pogue, and I’ll get you fired.”

Rafe had been threatening to get his father to fire you ever since you made the biggest slip up of your entire life. You prided yourself on being a smart person who always made good choices- but then one night you ended up tangled in the sheets of Rafe Cameron’s bed- and that does not happen to people who make good choices.

After that night you vowed to avoid him as much as you possibly could. You couldn’t afford to get him so angry that he’d rat you out to his dad and loose this job.

But your biggest problem was that no matter how hard you tried to stand up for yourself, you’d always cave in front of him. You’d always end up getting him that drink even though it wasn’t your job, you’d fetch his dry cleaning before your shift simply because he asked you. And worst of all, you let him fuck you.

But it would never happen again.

“I’m sorry, Mr Cameron.” You apologised, nodding your head.

“Good.” He said, before lowering his voice, “Now go and be the nice, obedient girl that I remember, and get me a Scotch.”

You swallowed, nodding.

With shaky hands, you make your way to the bar cart in the corner, placing some ice in the glass and pouring the shot. You might not have had eyes on the back of your head, but you could feel his eyes on you- his gaze was burning into the back of your head.

He treated you like shit, it’s not as if you were unaware of it. Sometimes you got worried about the fact that occasionally it made you want him more.

You turn around, and try to give him the glass. He noticed your shaking hands and smirked. This man has evil written all over him.

“I change my mind, sweetheart.” He said, his tone rude and condescending, “I want my drink in my bedroom.”

“Can’t you just take it up, I-”

He scoffed, “You’re what? You’re telling me to do your job because you’re worried about being next to my bed again? Are you really that weak, pogue?”

Your heart was beating uncontrollably.

“Of course not.” You reply, “I’ll take it up to your room right away.”

“That’s a good girl.”

You leave the room and follow the, what feels like endless, stairs up to Rafe’s room. His section of the house was bigger than your entire apartment on the other side of the island. When he says ‘room’ he really means entire suite. The living area opened up into a huge bedroom with an en-suite, and he even had a small kitchenette to the far left with different cooking appliances. The microwave itself was probably worth more than your entire wardrobe.

You placed the glass on the small table next to the couch, when you heard the door open, close and then lock.

You turn around, rapidly, to be faced with Rafe’s face already only inches away from yours.

“Don’t look so worried, sweetheart.” He said, snaking his arms around your waist and pulling your body against his, “You know I’m not gonna hurt you.”

“Rafe, we can’t do this again. I need this job, you know that.”

Instead of a reply, he lent down and attached his lips to your neck, making a b-line for the sweet spot that he must’ve remembered from last time.

You used all of the strength in you to stop yourself from letting out a moan, but then he pressed his crotch against your stomach, and the moan slipped out.

“I knew you wanted me.” Rafe said, pulling away and holding your face with his hands, “I could see it in your eyes, they just scream out how desperate you are for my cock.”

Rafe’s hands reach for the buttons of your blouse, looking at your face, waiting for a signal that it’s okay for him to continue. He wasn’t a good guy, but he had enough good in him to make sure you were okay with this.

You gave him a quick nod, and he made quick work of taking off your blouse, throwing it on the floor.

“The shit my dad makes the help wear is fuckin’ ugly.” Rafe said, “I much prefer when you look like this.”

His hands raked over your body, and over your bra.

“How would you cope if I worked naked every day?” You joked.

“I wouldn’t.”

Before you knew it, your bra joined your shirt on the floor, your tits spilling free.

“Pants off. Lie on the couch.” Rafe demanded, taking a step back, waiting to watch you undress. “I have plans for you before you get my dick. So, be a good girl and do as I say.”

You bite the side of your cheek, unbuttoning your pants and kicking them off.

“Panties too.” Rafe said, “I want to see all of you.”

Once again, you done as he said, peeling your underwear from your body, leaving you completely naked lying on his couch.

It was intimidating lying like this with him watching you while he stood fully clothed. But then again, every time Rafe looked at you there would be some sort of intimidation involved.

“Now,” He said, slowly unbuttoning his white shirt, “I’m gonna tell you how this is gonna go, and you’re gonna listen.”

He took his shirt off and lifted the glass of Scotch.

“You’re gonna lay there nice and still and well behaved, understand? And while you do that, I’m gonna have some fun.” He says, moving his arm so that his glass of liquor was hovering above you, before tilting it and letting the liquid drip over your stomach.

It was ice cold, yet the feeling made your head fall back. The anticipation was killing you, and he knew it. Rafe was taking his sweet time simply just to torture you.

You watched Rafe sink to his knees, dropping the glass on the floor, ice spilling everywhere.

“You’re gonna forget who the fuck you are when I’m done with you.”

His mouth attached itself your breasts, his tongue licking up the alcohol that had dripped onto them, before slowly making his way down your stomach, licking and sucking at every trace of liquor he could find.

Most of the liquid had pooled around your belly button, and as he got closer to that area, he gripped your thigh to steady his body, making sure to purposely brush his fingers over the aching heat between your legs, enjoying the soft moan you let out.

You couldn’t help but groan as he sucked harder at your skin, his tongue all over your stomach. You wanted that tongue sucking at your tits, in your mouth, between your legs. You wanted him everywhere.

“You’re desperate for me. I can tell.” Rafe said, using the grip he had on your thigh to spin you around, so that you were sitting facing him on the couch.

Arousal was dripping down your legs as his hand crept further and further up your thigh.

“I was gonna take my time with you today, sweetheart. But I think you want my cock right now, am I right?”

You nod, desperately.

“Words.” He demands.

“Yes.” You plead.

He shakes his head, “I know you remember the rules. Yes, what?”

You swallow.

“Yes, Sir.”

Even in the bedroom, Rafe had to remind you that you would always be beneath him. His superiority complex would never die, yet your sheer desperation could look past that.

The power dynamic was unhealthy, it’s not as if you were unaware. Technically you were still on shift working at his house right now. But you allowed yourself to look past it simply because of how badly you wanted him.

How badly you needed him.

Next, he told you to go and lie on his bed- and he followed you into the bedroom area but instead of joining you on the sheets he opened the door to his closet, rifling through until he pulled out a long black tie.

“I think you need a reminder today of who is in charge.” He says, coming closer to the bed.

“You.” You whisper, “You are in charge.”

“You’re right,” He said, “But I need to be really sure that you underhand that. So give me your wrists.”

He takes your hands and wraps his tie tightly around them, before guiding your arms to the headboard of the bed, where he looped the tie around and secured your wrists to the bed.

“Tell me if it’s too tight.” He said, a slither of genuine humanity showing through his words.

“It’s fine.” You reply.

It was somewhat exciting, to be here tied up for Rafe. He could do whatever he wanted and there wasn’t much you could do about it. But at the same time, it was nerve wracking.

“I’m not gonna hurt you, so you have to try to be a little less tense, alright?” Rafe said. His words were genuine, but it didn’t come off as such.

He unbuckled his pants, pulling them off and pushing them aside, leaving you staring at him in his briefs.

“Where do I start.” Rafe says, placing a hand on each of your thighs, spreading your legs apart.

“Look how fucking wet you are.” He said, running a single finger over your folds, “I didn’t realise what a desperate whore you were.”

Rafe’s patience thins- his solid erection paired with your dripping wet cunt is driving him crazy and he can’t wait any longer. He quickly flips you over onto your stomach and pushes your ass into the air, keeping your legs spread so he can access.

“Are you still on the pill?” He asks while he massages his cock. He needs to be inside of you. Right now.

You nod. “Yeah.”

With the anticipation, that one single word is all you can croak out of your mouth.

With no warning, you find Rafe’s cock pushing into you with a speed you can’t quite comprehend.

“Your tight little cunt.” Rafe moans, splitting you open, “I bet no one’s fucked you since the last time you had my dick, huh? You keep this pussy just for me?”

You moan, your face pushed into the sheets as you take the full length of Rafe’s dick.

“Agh!” You cry, “You, Rafe, just you.”

He’s thrusting into you with no thoughts in his mind. You knew Rafe fucked rough, but this was a new level of feral you hadn’t seen before- and you were kind of loving. You tugged on the tie restraining your wrists while you cried his name.

“I own you.” Rafe says, “I fucking own you, you understand?”

You moan loudly, his dick still pounding into you.

“I said do you fucking understand?”

“Agh! Fuck!” You cry, “I’m yours, Rafe. You own me, you own me.”

You were so close to your orgasm, clenching on his cock while he thrusted deep inside you.

“I’m close.” You tell him, pushing your head into the mattress.

“Don’t fucking cum until I say so.” Rafe said.

He sped up, reaching for his own release.

“Cum with me.” He growls, his speed reducing as he cums inside of you.

You cry out, your long awaited orgasm washing over you like a tidal wave as you coat Rafe’s cock with your cum.

You might regret this tomorrow, but right now you didn’t have a care in the world.

[danikamariewrites]

In Enemy Hands

Mob!Azriel x reader

Warnings: kidnapping, guns, violence, a lil murder but nothing graphic, not proof read

Azriel knew. The heavy feeling in his gut twisting and turning as he paced the driveway.

The mini convoy pulling up had him stopping, his eyes widening at the sight of the damaged Range Rover Cassian was driving. His heart clenched at the destruction.

It was rare Azriel let his men see him in this worried state. He was doing a good job of keeping his mask in place, but Azriel felt like he needed to scream. Like he was going to drop to his knees and let this feral thing inside him out.

Rhys silently stepped up next to his brother, clasping his hand on Azriel’s shoulder. As soon as the cars stopped Azriel pulled away from Rhys to inspect your car. Cassian had already given Az a full report of the damage and how you were taken. He just needed to see it with his own eyes.

Azriel frantically searched the car for any clue that you could’ve left. “Az there’s nothing in here,” Cassian says gently.

“No,” Azriel roars, whipping around to give Cassian a deadly glare. “There — she has to,” Az fumbles over his words.

For the first time since he was a child a tear slid down his cheek. For the first time since he was a child Azriel felt fear.

Anger quickly mixed itself in. Azriel quickly sees red. His breaths were bordering on pants as he cast a pained look at your car.

“I am going to kill every single one of them.”

You push your chest against the ropes keeping you to the rolling chair. All that does is slowly spin you in a circle. You pull at the duct tape binding your wrists to the arms of the chair.

Even though your whole body ached from the collision you fought. And you’d keep fighting.

The door squeaks open as Beron stands over you. He's supposed to be a myth these days. Living out his exile in a quiet town, cut off from his family.

When Eris overthrew his father to become head of the family he showed Beron mercy. Something he never showed any of his sons. The fact that Beron was in the city, and with a small army backing him, meant trouble.

“Eris might actually kill you this time,” I break his brooding silence. “Do you not want to live, or are you just itching for round two with the head of the Vanserra fam—” your words melted into a piercing scream as Beron gave your knee a hard kick.

Pain blinds you. Thanks to the crash you’re pretty sure your knee is somewhere between dislocated and broken. Focusing on breathing through it you regain your composure.

“The bastard that took my spot is weak. Your boyfriend even weaker. I know they owe each other. And the pretender has no one, you were next on the list.”

You groan, absorbing the information. Nesta was good at laying low then. And you’re not a rat.

“Finacé.”

Beron gives me a disgusted scowl. “Fiancé now. Do you not get the newsletter out in the suburbs?” You shoot him a shit eating grin. Beron’s growing rage tells you to quit it with the quips.

“The title doesn’t change anything. My plan is already in motion.” Your heart skipped a beat.

“Aahh the facade does crack.” He grins. Your glare turns murderous. “If you hurt Azriel you won’t have to be afraid of the family’s. Just me.” Beron lets out a cackle as he leaves you to your pain.

It’s already been a full 24 hours and Azriel hasn’t slept. He angrily paced the house as Eris ran point, commanding men to watch Beron’s old hideouts. To comb the city and leave no stone unturned.

Rhys and Cassian have been taking turns to try and ease their brother’s anxiety. Mostly it was to make sure Azriel didn’t run off to take Beron on alone.

Right when Azriel was about to implode Eris ran into the office to report that you’ve been found.

“I have a man on the inside with Beron. We need to move now to catch them off guard, I’ll explain on the way.” Azriel didn’t wait for Eris to finish before he was out the front door.

When the warehouse comes into sight Azriel has to restrain himself from jumping out of the car. “Remember,” Eris’s stern voice sounds down the comms. “Wait for the signal.” Azriel rolls his eyes, knowing that command was targeted at him.

They stay out for almost an hour before Eris’s informant gives the signal.

Entering the building Azriel almost threw up his heart at the sight.

Once Atlas finally gained your trust you let him cut you loose and help stabilize your knee. Thanks to the pain you had to put your weight on him.

Shuffling out of the room you were hidden away in being out in the open made your heart race. Some guards patrolled the upstairs, a few weaved between the stacked pallets.

Atlas dragged you behind a stack of boxes to send a text to Eris. “Stay here.” Atlas whispers. You make yourself as small as possible. Pressing you back against the boxes as you watch Atlas cut through the room to silently cut down those foolish enough to side with Beron.

A second person took down the men upstairs. Silently laying them down as their bodies went limp in his arms.

When Atlas returns you immediately push yourself up, leaning your weight on him again.

Halfway through the warehouse angry footsteps sound from behind. Followed by the click of a gun. Atlas whipped around, shoving you behind him.

“Beron, you don’t want to do this.” He said, raising his gun. The laugh that escaped Beron sent painful chills through your body.

“Enough games. Where’s the boy? Or is he not brave enough to face me?”

“Eris will be here soon enough.”

The two stare each other down. Neither wanted to shoot first. Atlas pushes you, silently asking you to hide and leave him.

Turning as quickly as your knee would let you hobble down the center of the room, aiming to dive behind another stack of boxes.

Two shots sound behind you. One followed by the thud of Atlas’s body. The other right next to your foot. You let yourself fall, putting your weight on your uninjured side.

Beron grabbed you by the back of your neck, hauling you to your feet.

“Any second.” He panted into your ear. Beron’s arm wrapped around your neck, his gun pressing into your temple.

The door slammed open to reveal Azriel, Eris, and the rest of their men. You let out a small sigh of relief at all the familiar faces.

Your eyes meet Azriel’s rage filled ones. “Beron,” he roars. “Let her go!”

“When I have you both where I want you?” You claw at Beron’s arm attempting to loosen his grip.

Azriel was struggling with what to do. He wants to shoot Beron but he was petrified of hitting you by accident. If he moved, Beron would likely kill you.

Eris opens his mouth to threaten his father when a gun goes off. Beron howls and Eris rushes forward to pin him. Everything plays out in slow motion for Azriel. Once he realizes you fall he runs to you.

Azriel scoops you to his chest, rocking you and running his fingers through your tangled hair. “Y/n, oh my sweet y/n. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” Azriel keeps repeating the apology. You cling to him, breathing in his comforting scent.

He pulls away from you to look you over. Tears prick at Azriel’s eyes when he sees the small gash on your forehead and hurt knee. “Oh my angel.”

“I’m ok, Az.” He shakes his head pulling you back to his chest. Picking you up bridal style Azriel briefly talks to Eris. The next time you look up Azriel is buckling you in the car, never taking his arm from around you.

Az doesn’t let you walk in the house, carrying you tight to his chest again. Bringing you to the spare room you see the family doctor is already set up. An hour later she determines your knee has a bone bruise and the cut on your forehead just requires neosporin and a bandaid.

Before the doc leaves Azriel brings you to the bedroom, helping you change and tucking you in with a heating pad.

You stare at him holding his hand. “Sit, love.” He does as you say, the tears he’s been holding back finally falling from eyes. “I’m so sorry,” he whispers again. “I’m so sorry I failed to keep you safe.” You shake your head at him.

“You brought me home. I’m with you.” Az nods. “I brought you home.” He says more to himself than you.

He stays by your side for days. You can’t even get out of bed without Azriel supporting you or carrying you where you want to go. You let him for his sanity.

Weeks later, you get up without Azriel beside you for the first time. Your knee still hurts a little but you keep moving through the pain.

As if he could sense what you’re doing, Azriel pokes his head in. You smirk at him. “Hi Azzy.” He blushes slightly at the nickname.

“What are you doing up so early?” You roll your eyes playfully. “Can’t I get up and have breakfast with my fiancé?”

“Of course,” he whispers, cupping your cheek. Azriel has been trying not to hover since you’ve fully healed. You can see the hesitation in his eyes as his other hand twitches to wrap around you.

Wrapping your arms around his shoulders you lean into Az. “Will you carry me downstairs?” You press soft kisses to his soft skin to butter him up. Azriel relaxes, scooping you to his chest.

Maybe letting Azriel hover for a little while longer won’t be such a bad thing.

[draco-after-dark]

Captured and contained

Little info dump on the whole diamond prison thing with regards to my Feral JD AU

So basically what happened when Velvet and Veneer first captured JD in my au is Veneer is always looking for more animals for his little side zoo project. They happened to be doing a photo shoot outside in the woods for a new album cover. Veneer went on a walk to have some alone time and stumbled across a little goblin boy. Aka JD.

"Oooo aren't you a cute little fella, You would be perfect as desk decoration!"

*JD gets snatched*

Later when Veneer tells Velvet he got a new pet and reveals JD. Her initial reaction is "Okay, but where did you even get that thing it's disgusting." JD proceeds to bite Veneer (multiple times) and wriggle himself free from his hands. He then runs rampant through their dressing room until they manage to contain him in a crystal bottle. The only thing they thought was strong enough to hold him. Later down the line when Velvet captures Floyd (basically the same sequence of events as the movie from here) and starts using him for his talent. That's when they realize that JD is actually a troll as well. JD being JD though is as Velvet described "uncooperative" and "savage" so she refuses to use him for his talent and instead tells Veneer "That one can be yours. You're that one that found that thing anyway." So Veneer does end up using JD for his talent just not nearly as often as Velvet does Floyd. JD does still get hit pretty hard by the whole draining thing considering he is grey and unlike the average troll has in a sense "forgotten/lost" his talent. That doesn't stop him from unleashing hell on the twin every chance he gets. Goblin man will do goblin things

Then things follow the movie pretty much the same except Bruce and Clay end up getting captured when they all break into the dressing room to rescue Floyd. Poppy and Branch end up escaping into the rafters. Velvet ends up sticking Clay and Floyd in her shoulder pads and Veneer gets Bruce. Veneer leaves JD behind in his dressing room because he feels guilty and doesn't want to hurt him any more than he has to.

Fast forward to the family harmony scene where although they are technically down a brother and Floyd is still trapped in Velvet's clutches the 3 brothers and pop sisters sing on anyway. The family harmony DOES end up working to free Floyd and also JD. I'm playing this off on the idea that despite JD not being present physically he could feel the connection to his brothers and their desperation to help Floyd. JD wants the same thing, to free Floyd and that is what connects them all together. It's like Branch said "We don't have to be perfect to be in harmony, We just have to be as we are." (just go with it ok IDK) Once the diamonds are shattered JD is pretty worst for wear, unlike Floyd he doesn't have anyone to support him right off the bat. He is used to being on his own at this point tho and only cares about getting Floyd out. He tucks himself away into a corner of the room behind some furniture to hide and rest up till he can get the both of them out of this hell hole.

Mind you only Floyd knows that he's also being held captive somewhere backstage when all this is happening. So once Floyd regains consciousness and has a chance to take a moment with his brothers. he then immediately goes into full anxiety mode well explaining that they have to get to JD. The others confused about what he's talking about don't believe him at first, but do end up helping Floyd backstage since he keeps insisting that JD needs them. They do end up finding JD and that's where the real story begins.

:D

Hopefully this makes sense? I ain't no writer sorry people

Little bonus scene

"Hey Vel does this look infected to you???"

"I can't believe we're related... CRIMP SCHEDULE A HOSPITAL VISIT BECAUSE MY IDIOT OF A BROTHER GOT BITTEN BY A FUCKING RAT!"

[nebulastarss]

Catbatfam Wayne family lore pt2 (Mostly Tim cuz I had thoughts)

Next door to the Wayne family are the Drake household. Now, you know how fanon Tim Drake has horrifically neglective parents to the point where he should definitely be dead by 6 years old? Yeah Kitty Timothy has that. Since he is just a cat, they pile food in a few bowls and then leave. They have an automatic litter box (DANGEROUS. ESPECIALLY FOR KITTENS.) so he's not getting infections, but he's definitely running out of food before the weeks are over and they pop back in (also the food is stale. Gross)

Timothy is a well behaved pet regardless, essentially hoping that if he's cute enough they'll stop leaving him to his own devices. Never works. He becomes a real good hunter, and no one ever finds out about the rat infestation. So he's pretty independent, but not feral. He also gets into the habit of watching the streets from the window, catching Bruce walking past multiple times.

(Sometimes the Drakes forget to pay the power bill for a little. Thankfully they gave him his own cat room, and he piles blankets that he lies under with only his nose poking out.)

One day, he has ran out of food and he must've over hunted because the rats aren't there. But Bruce is outside again. And Tim is hungry. So he starts screaming, yelling and rubbing his face against the glass. Bruce stops and runs up to press his nose against the glass, proceeding to break into Drake Manor and steal their kitten

Martha and Thomas are once again rushing to the vet, and once again contacting lawyers over animal neglect. The poor thing is half starved! He's got scratches and illnesses from the rats! He has signs of prolonged exposure to the cold! Bad pet ownership!

They now own 5 cats. They never planned on 5 cats, and the kittens all get along like a house on fire. They're all similar ages, only a few months in between them, with such different personalities.

Dick won't stop hissing at strangers but turns into a loud and clingy kitten the second he's near family. He's curious and constantly overestimating how far he can jump. He's often in the living areas, perched over the fireplace or becoming one with the couch. He's also the most prone to going full Zoomies. He will be running in circles for the next 10 minutes actually.

Jason isn't loud but he's clumsy (he trips on the stairs like. A lot. They think it's because of the lack of tail) and he prefers the library and the kitchen to any other room in the manor. (Some servants will open random books and leave them out, they have lists of which ones he does and doesn't lay on, called "Jason's Favorites") he gets along with Alfred, who also frequents the kitchens.

Tim, despite being initially quiet and loving, has taken a more aloof stance once he's sure they won't just leave he hangs out in the offices a lot, to the point where they get him a little laptop toy (it's actually a real laptop. They enjoy looking through his search history: "afwgvbndnnnnnn nnnn") he does love pets, but won't actively push against someone. He will, however, linger in a room and stand juuust close enough that you could pet him. If you wanted to. Yknow, no pressure or anything. He's a little stalker cat, and prefers to watch everyone from above.

And all of them sneak out. Together. They use the doggy door, of course, but sometimes they all just vanish and then come back in using the door. Literally how, they have CAMERAS. Martha loves her grandbabies but she swears they're giving her gray hair. She's only in her thirties! She should not have gray hair!

Once again though, another video surfaces on the internet. Tim is sitting on a box, watching Dick and Babs play while Jason bats at Bruce's tail, when another cat literally falls on him. A Bengal with a large bell attached to her collar that darts away at Tim's affronted screech. She crouches down, tail flicking, before rolling around like a dog asking to play. Tim watches, unamused.

They end up playing anyway. Bruce also catches her at one point and licks the shit out of her fur, which is dirty as all hell. A post from a tired nurse reveals the kitten to be Stephanie, though Crystal Brown records herself fondly saying hello to her "dear Stephie" and asking how she got outside. Stephanie responds by rolling onto her back and purring.

Tim starts regularly showing up at her window, where they either watch pedestrians or play fight with the window between them (have you ever seen videos of kittens doing that? Cute as shit. They end up bonking their heads against the glass every single time) they officially don't do much more though, as Stephanie is supposed to be a strictly indoor cat. (More videos emerge of Stephanie breaking out while Crystal is at work. Poor nurse is fighting a loosing battle)

After a few weeks, the family relaxes again. Surely that's it, Bruce and his weird kitten collecting is over now.

Then he comes home with a silent Burmese kitten.

Bruce where do you keep getting these. They find nothing on her. As far as they can tell, she's a stray, but she's not injured or ill in any way. There's no identification and she won't speak at all.

(Did you know that cats don't meow into adulthood? Meowing is a baby noise. Cats actual noises are outside of our hearing range, all we can hear are "FUCK OFF LEAVE ME ALONE!" and "IM BABY GIVE ME LOVE!" Cats are taught by those older than them to keep meowing so that they can communicate with us.)

They take her home, and she follows everyone around. She walks on silent feet, often scareing the absolute crap out of however spots her (or trips over her)

One day she's watching Dick intensely, watching the way that Thomas interacts with him. She pads over, sits, and stares at him. He stares back. She tilts her head. He blinks and then Dick calls his attention away by meowing at him. And Cass stares at the both of them. Then she hops up on Thomas's lap, props herself up on his chest with her front legs, and meows at him. He's delighted, she loves being able to ask for shit and communicate, Dick is mostly just grumpy that Thomas stopped petting him.

Then, again surely that's it. Surely. We definitely have the room but Bruce we went from 2 cats to 6 in a month. Slow down. Martha is it just me or does taking care of these cats feel like we just chose to have children in a more convoluted way?

They are wrong.

[phoebepheebsphibs]

DM Mikey Housetraining Days: Gifts

Title: Gifts Prompt: Turtles with feral behavior (2012, 2003, or Rise) Fandom:  ROTTMNT Word Count: 4024  Author: PhoebePheebsPhibs Rating:  Gen Characters:  Michelangelo/Insticnt, Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello Warning: TW Mikey brings dead animals as gifts like a cat, and unalives a cat Summary: Mikey's animal instincts confuse him sometimes... Today's confusion circles around him showing affection to his brothers by providing for them. However, they seem to have a problem with his "gifts"... Notes: Expanded off of an idea posted on Tumblr, based on the prompt "Feral" for TMNT Write Fight by Boots/Wiggles/Thatficgal

@boots-with-the-fur-club @tmnt-write-fight

Story posted on AO3 <-

Mikey wonders what will please his brothers.

He did everything he did in the labs that would earn him some form of praise.

He has been very quiet all day, and didn't make a peep unless the family tried to engage a conversation with him.

He ate all his food (which wasn't hard since it was so much more delicious than the slop the labs fed him), and ate it quickly to save time. He also ate with his mouth closed, per Donnie's request. And he tried eating with the silverware or his hands rather than scarfing it down with just his face, per Leo's request. And he also made sure to ask for seconds if he wanted any instead of licking the plate clean, per Raph's request.

And whenever they have asked him to do something, he did it immediately and without question. Donnie needed another scan? He was in his labs like that. Raph said they needed to work off some of that excess energy? Mikey did the exercises they given to him from the labs until Raph told him it was enough. Leo wanted Mikey to try a puzzle or practice some of his sign language? Mikey did just that.

But these things didn't please them. Not in the way Mikey wanted...

Sure, they were happy for his sake that he did these things, but Mikey wanted to make his brothers happy! He wanted them to be happy, and he wanted it to be because of something he'd done. 

A 'thank you' he could give them...

A gift...?

Yes! A gift! He could give them gifts! But what kinds of gifts?

Mikey recalls in the lab how the evil humans would praise him when he killed a mutant in combat. And some animalistic instinct within him reminds him that animals will hunt for their families and bring food for them. Mikey could do that! He was great at doing that in the labs!

He just needs to find something to hunt...

.

.

.

Raphael wakes up to a terrible smell. He opens his eyes and lifts his head --

-- and finds a dead rat on his stomach.

He almost screams at the sight, gasping and swallowing his air before he notices Mikey sitting by the bed, eyes wide and grin even wider as he watches Raph intently, waiting for a response.

...Is this a prank?

No, Mikey looks to excited and innocent for it to be a prank.

Besides, this would be a sick and sadistic prank, one Mikey could never be capable of doing. Not even now, after everything he's been through.

Raph swallows as he glances back and forth between the rodent on his stomach and Mikey, who patiently waits for validation.

"...Mikey?"

The little boy chirps at him with a nod.

"...What is this?"

'Gift', Mikey signs.

"O-oh," Raph says, chuckling weakly. "Did you... did you get it all by yourself?"

Mikey nods proudly.

Raph manages a tiny smile.

"And you... wanted to give it to me... as a gift?"

Mikey nods again, smiling widely.

"Thank you, Mikey," Raph says gently. "That was... very thoughtful of you."

Mikey churrs ecstatically and dances around the room before running out.

Raph waits until he's sure Mikey's out of earshot before he runs to the nearest trash bin and vomits profusely into it. He gently lifts the dead rat by the tail and bags him up before tearfully taking him away to dispose of him properly.

.

.

.

 Leo sits in the kitchen, eating his lunch in peace. That is, until Mikey suddenly saunters inside and drops a dead possum at his feet.

Leo doesn't even realize what it is at first, mistaking it for one of Raph's fuzzier plushies before the smell hits him and he realizes what it actually is.

He chokes on his food, jumping up and away in terror before gagging at the sight and smell.

Mikey looks... calm, if not slightly confused. He sits on the floor, tail wagging with innocence as he waits for validation or praise for a job well done.

Leo asks what Mikey is doing.

'Gift for Leo,' answers Mikey.

Leo asks where it came from.

'Tunnels,' answers Mikey.

Leo thanks him, still standing on the table and refusing to get back down on the floor. But he definitely lets Mikey know he... 'appreciates' the thought.

Mikey squeals with excitement before skipping away on all fours.

Leo grabs his katanas and discreetly (if not unceremoniously) portals the possum away.

.

.

.

Donnie had only been in the bathroom for three minutes. But it was enough time for Mikey to leave behind a special surprise for him.

Left on the seat of his special edition purple gaming chair, Donatello finds a rotting varmint.

It takes hours for him to recover, and he is nonverbal for the rest of the day as he tries to recuperate.

.

.

.

The group discuss what to do about Mikey's antics, unsure why he keeps doing this... or where he keeps finding all these animals.

"It's not cool, he has to understand that!" Raph refutes. "He can't just keep bringing dead things to us!"

"It's highly unhygienic," Donnie grumbles, wearing gloves and a mask after the previous day's events. "My lab is utterly contaminated.

"But there has to be a reason why he's doing this, right?" Leo wonders. "I mean, what's he trying to do?"

"He said it was 'a gift'," Raph recalls.

"He told me that, too," Leo realizes. "But... we never asked him to do that. Is he trying to provide for us? Like, going hunting for us?"

"It could be," Donnie sighs. "But his behaviour is reminding me of a cat that brings dead birds to its owners."

"But again, why??" Leo reiterates. "Why does he want to give us these things as gifts?? Why not give us something non-gory and un-deceased?"

Before anyone can respond, Mikey trills out a call for the trio.

They meet him at the lair entrance, only to find him dragging a half-dead cat into the home.

Raph goes entirely pale as he hears the poor feral creature whining and meowing as it weakly struggles against its captor.

"Uh... Mikey...?" Leo greets nervously. "Whatchya got there?"

'Creature' Mikey signs, holding the tail in his teeth. 'Found in tunnels!'

"Y-yeah, I uh... I see that... Mikey, is this another 'gift'?"

Mikey nods, smiling proudly and sitting straight with his chest puffed out.

"Mikey... y-you can't just... We're honored you thought to get us these gifts, but... uh..."

Leo fumbles over his words continuously, trying to find the words.

Mikey is confused; don't they like the gifts??

Is something wrong? What's wrong??

What did Mikey do wrong?

In the labs, they always were happy when Mikey killed for them but --

I have an idea, Instinct whispers. Let me try something...

Mikey lets Instinct take over for a moment. His eyes close and he shudders. His brothers seem to recognize that Mikey is no longer Mikey for the moment.

Instinct/Mikey takes the still yowling cat and wraps his claws around it.

He smiles at his brothers.

And then twists the neck with an audible snap.

The room erupts into screaming and shouting. Raph starts sobbing over the poor cat. Leo loses his mind scolding Mikey/Instinct. Donnie is passed out on the floor.

Instinct relents almost immediately upon the realization that his plan did not work, and when Mikey awakes he is completely bombarded with everyone's reactions and a dead cat at his feet.

He understands instantly what Instinct did. But he does not understand why Blue and Red and Purple are so mad, sad, scared...?

Isn't this what Mikey was made for? Isn't this what the labs trained him to do? Isn't this what he's good for -- hunting, hurting, killing?

Mikey chirps in distressed confusion. He takes a step forward, stepping closer to the unalived cat on the floor in front of him. Blue runs forward and grabs Mikey, scooping him up under the shoulders and rushing him away from the room.

Mikey gets the sense that he didn't take him out of the room just to make him feel better.

Blue drops him off in his bedroom and spends the next fifteen minutes scolding him, telling him it's not cool to do that, he can't hurt things like that, much less kill them! He tells him how terrible it was to do that, how poor Red is traumatized and Purple might need some kind of therapy or a new dose of anxiety meds or something to help his nerves, and how he's probably never going to leave his lab again. He tells him how disgusting that was, how cruel, and how disappointed he is in him --

Blue only stops when he sees Mikey start to cry, his expression a mixture of dumbfounded bewilderment and the devastation of crushed hopes and dreams. Blue sighs and says that they'll talk later. He leaves Mikey alone.

Alone to think, alone to wonder, alone to wallow and suffer as his thoughts tell him just how big of a screw-up he truly is...

.

.

.

The next day they have to sit Mikey down for a talk.

He refused to leave his room, hiding under his desk all night instead of sleeping in his hammock out of guilt. He even refused to come out for supper. Leo brought out a plate of food for him after the fourth attempt to get him to leave his solitary, hoping that maybe he would eat in his room, if not with them.

He didn't.

Leo finds the plate cold and the food stale when he comes in to check on Mikey in morning.

And Mikey asleep under his dresser drawers. He'd never left his hiding place.

Okay, they really need to talk about this.

Leo calls a meeting with his brothers and discusses the previous events that have happened. They talk about how to handle it, what to say, what to avoid...

Sometime in the late morning, Leo comes back into Mikey's room. He's awake now; Leo sees his tail slip back under the dresser when he walks back in.

"Miguel? You okay?"

No answer.

"Look, if you're still upset from last night --"

Soft whimpers emanate from underneath the dresser...

"-- I'm sorry I yelled. I should have been more delicate, or kinder... you didn't understand what you did wrong, right?"

No answer.

"Mikey?"

Mikey's hands slowly creep out and sign the word 'no'.

"That's what I thought. Hey, can you come out for a few minutes? We just wanna talk and explain it to you."

Mikey whimpers again, claws retreating back under the drawers.

"Hey, we just want to help make sure you understand! Okay? Nobody's going to yell, I promise."

Mikey pauses. He pokes his head out, eyes red-rimmed and nose dripping snot from a night of ongoing crying.

'Promise?' he signs.

"I promise. We only want to help."

Mikey swallows. He exhales. He tenderly pulls himself out from under the dresser. His claws scrape across the metal floor as he does. Leo kneels beside him to help. Mikey flinches, and Leo pulls back a second before going right back in to help. He won't allow Mikey to be afraid of him, he'll prove that part wrong. Although, he is mentally kicking himself for having blown up so much the night before. He could have handled it better... but in his defense, his baby brother just executed a stray cat for no reason in front of an audience.

Leo gingerly assists his baby brother out from his hiding place and then leads him out into the living room, where Raphael and Donatello are watching a Lou Jitsu rerun as they wait. The heads turn when they hear them come in, and Mikey freezes in place. But Raphael smiles and pats a spot on the couch beside him, urging him to join, promising that it will be okay. Mikey slinks over and climbs onto the couch, sitting so close to Raph that he almost sits on top of him, resting his head and torso against the eldest's thigh.

"Okay. So, we're here today to talk about Mikey's... uh... 'gifts'," Leo starts, standing up and facing the group. "Now, the thing is, we understand that Mikey is trying to show affection, but, uh..."

"We want him to stop with the dead things," Donnie grimaces.

Raph smacks Donnie upside the head, silently shush-scolding him.

"Okay, yes, well --" Leo stutters, keeping a nervous eye on Mikey, who anxiously curls into himself on Raph's leg. "Mikey, we want to make sure you understand why un-aliving animals is... not good."

Mikey blinks and looks between the three brothers as they watch him. He signs 'Why?' at them.

"Well, you see Mikey, it's cruel to hurt little critters," Raph explains as he strokes the little brother's shell. "It's mean. It isn't nice. You know that, right?"

Mikey nods.

"So then... why do you do it?"

'Gifts' he signs.

"But why dead things?" Leo reiterates. "Especially when you know that isn't good??"

Mikey's face scrunches up, his brow furrows.

'...Don't know,' he signs. 'Mikey just felt like that would be good gift. What is word... feeling? Thought?'

"Instinct?" Raph asks. "The voice in your head told you to do that?"

'No,' Mikey shakes his head. 'Well, not the whole time. Instinct wanted to hurt the cat for you. But Mikey wanted to get the rest. Knew it was good gift!'

"You say you 'knew' it was a good gift?" Donnie questions. "But you just said you knew it was cruel... Oh, waaaaaait, I think I get it now!"

Donatello stands up and looks curiously at Micheal, scratching his chin as he forms a theory.

"Angelo, you say that you had a feeling that knew that hunting animals for us would be a good gift? It was an instinct, but not the Instinct voice in your head, more like your own thoughts?"

Mikey nods quickly, grateful that someone seems to understand.

"I think I understand. It's another side-effect of the mutations. Mikey's animal traits mixed with his spotty memory have caused him to rely on the primal urges that are related to his genetic donors. Pack animals such as monkeys and cats bring gifts of food to other members of their clans to show affection or even to teach them how to hunt. Mikey is mutated with both feline and simian DNA, if you recall."

Leo's eyes widen.

"So, Mikey didn't actually know it was wrong to do that?"

"Likely not. I'm sure he felt uneasy about it, but assumed that it was a standard familial bonding experience. In essense, didn't know any better."

"But why'd he kill a cat in front of us?" Raph asks, subconsciously pulling Mikey closer.

"...I'm not entirely sure," Donnie shrugs. "It's possible he wanted to show off his hunting skills for us. As an 'added gesture'. He said that doing that was Instinct's idea, and from what I recall of his explanation of the alternate persona, Instinct is more of a hunter and a fighter than anything."

Raph sighs and pats Mikey's head.

"Okay, so now that we know why Mikey does this, we need to find a way to help him understand not to do it anymore," Leo inputs. "...How do we do that?"

'No like gifts?' Mikey signs.

"Well... we do like getting gifts," Raph tries to explain. "But there are some things that do not make good gifts. Dead rodents and animals from the sewers do not make very good gifts."

'Why?'

"Wow, did not think I'd need to be explaining this. Firstly, they smell bad. Secondly, they carry disease and bacteria and stuff. Third -- and this is very important that you understand this -- it is wrong to just kill a creature. You shouldn't do that anymore. It's animal cruelty, got it?"

Mikey nods slowly. He seems to understand it. There's a look on his face like he might be questioning something inside of himself... Whoever told him that it was good to do this was wrong... But he gets the point in the end and nods once more, prompting them to go on.

"So you can't go hunting in the sewers anymore, 'kay?" Leo reiterates. "You don't need to hunt for us."

'Even if gift is already dead?' Mikey asks.

"YES," Leo says, trying not to gag at the thought that Mikey probably found one of his previous gifts already deceased and thought it would make a good present for them. "NO HUNTING ANYTHING ANYMORE. IT'S NOT NECESSARY. AND UNSANITARY. UNDERSTAND?"

Mikey wags his head nervously. Raph takes his hand and gently squeezes it.

"Mikey, we aren't mad --" Raph has to pause so he can discreetly smack Donnie upside the head again when he makes an audible huff at the statement, "we were just really concerned, and we wanted to make sure that we fixed the issue. You aren't in trouble, we just need you to understand that this is serious."

'No angry? No hate Mikey?'

"Never," Raph promises, leaning down to give the little brother a smooch on the head to prove his point.

Mikey makes a sound that seems to be a cross between a chuckle and a purr.

"And I am sorry I made you so scared last night," Leo apologizes again. "I'll try not to blow up in the future. Do you forgive me?"

Mikey nods. Though he looks puzzled by something...

'So, if no hunting... what gifts does Mikey give?'

"I, uh... well, I guess anything that didn't have a heartbeat?" Leo shrugs. "I mean, you used to make us drawings as gifts. One time for me and Dee's birthday, you baked a whole cake for us. And, well, we can't really go out shopping yet, but you can look in stores and stuff for gift ideas. Like comics or action figures, or Raph loves stuffed animals. NOT REAL ONES, just to reiterate! Does... does that help?"

Mikey smiles softly and nods.

.

.

.

The next morning, Raph wakes up to a half-eaten sandwich on his bed.

Leo finds a slobbered-on teddy bear of Mikey’s outside his room.

Donnie receives a crudely drawn picture of him and Mikey on his chair.

Well… it’s the thought that counts!

[reallypleasanttree]

@strarri After reading chapter 10 of Kimetsu Academy I was inspired.

Obamitsu-Kimetsu Academy AU 🐍🩷🍡

It started with a snake scarf and an embroidered pair of socks. Mitsuri always gave Obanai gifts, but over time they started exchanging gifts on nearly every date. They ranged from sweets to bitter drinks to plushies and more. 

Mitsuri sipped on her bubble tea enjoying the brown sugar boba as she thought about what she could give Obanai next. She had been so busy with graduation coming up that she didn’t have time to see him. He was supposed to come to her graduation with her family. It’d only be the second time they met him, but they seemed to get along. 

Mitsuri frowned thinking about the last time she saw him. They went to the strip mall for drinks and a movie. It was a drama film about a boy raised in the woods by a boar. However the mama boar died at the end and the boy was left alone. Mitsuri ended up crying and Obanai passed her his handkerchief with her cat drawing. 

They left the theater holding hands and then venturing in and out of all the stores. Cooking, accessory, jewelry, pet, and plant shops. Kaburamaru enjoyed the pet shop the most and bobbed his head up and down excitedly when he saw another white rat snake. After Mitsuri saw that she forgot about the sad ending. Obanai smiled at the white snake and Mitsuri. He wasn’t a man of many words, but his eyes were expressive enough. 

Hmmm…Mitsuri chewed on her straw. On that date Obanai bought her succulent plant after she said she liked them. Though when she said she liked them she had been looking at a necklace with a succulent at the jewelry store. She flushed at the memory. The necklace was way too expensive and when she saw the price tag she pulled Obanai out of the shop. He’d never given her jewelry before.

Should she give him a plant in return? She wrinkled her nose and kicked her feet in the chair. No. He wasn’t the type to like plants. What else had he mentioned recently needing? Or did Kaburamaru need something? 

Obanai said his first lab coat was getting frayed on the cuffs. Maybe she could mend them. She could add black and stripes! Or maybe a snake pattern! She giggled at the idea. Obanai normally wore his cuffs over his hands. He’d be so cute with new ones. How would she be able to get his lab coat without raising suspicion? Maybe she could invite him over directly after work or ask his students to help… the ones who delivered her letter. 

Mitsuri tapped her temple. Tanjiro and Zenitsu loved Obanai. Of course they would be willing to help. 

———-

Zenitsu glanced at the chemistry lab door. Miss Kanroji asked him and Tanjiro to get Mr. Iguro’s lab coat. She said she wanted to mend it without him knowing it as a gift. The blonde knew Obanai and Mitsuri loved each other and at heart he was a hopeless romantic. 

Inosuke was supposed to make a distraction that would cause Mr. Iguro to leave the classroom. There was a screech and the clash of glass. Then Inosuke ran down the hallway with feral gremlin energy. The chemistry teacher opened the door as Zenitsu turned to hug the lockers. Tanjiro would run interference if Zenitsu couldn’t find the lab coat. 

“Get back here, Hashibira!” Mr. Iguro charged past Zenitsu without seeing him. Zenitsu crept to the door trying not to make any sound. He closed the door behind him and started looking through the desk drawers. The first drawer had office supplies, the second drawer had his lunch box and a post-it note with a heart on it(Mitsuri must have given it to him), and the third drawer had treats for the snake. 

Zenitsu glanced at the door and his heart raced. He heard Inosuke screaming still and the chemistry teacher chasing him. Sweat poured down his forehead. He was not made for covert missions like this. Except he was the one with the best hearing, which made it easier for him to detect someone coming back. He spun around to the file cabinet and pulled open every drawer. At least he could be grateful for how organized the teacher was. Everything had a place and-

His brown eyes widened as he noticed a small velvet box with a silver clasp on the front. Was that what he thought it was? Because if it was then Miss Kanroji’s gift would pale in comparison. He reached to the box despite his better instincts telling him to keep searching for the old lab coat. The anxious student opened the clasp and it was indeed what he assumed. He gasped and hurriedly put it back where he found it. 

“Lab coat,” Zenitsu muttered to himself and continued searching until he found the old lab coat in the bottom drawer of the second cabinet he searched. Tanjiro was approaching with the chemistry teacher. 

“I don’t want to buy any trinkets for a fundraiser, Mr. Kamado,” the black haired man bristled. 

“But I need to raise more money so Nezuko can go to Kyoto with her classmates,” Tanjiro continued. Zenitsu stuffed the lab coat under his uniform’s sweater and edged towards the door. He could slip by if Mr. Iguro had his back turned. The student chanced a glance out the small window on the door. The teacher had his back turned to the door and Tanjiro spoke louder as Zenitsu gave him a thumbs up. 

“Think of my little sister,” the boy repeated, but the teacher shook his head. Zenitsu glued himself to the wall and exited the classroom. 

“I don’t have any money left to give away. I just bought something for-” Mr. Iguro paused and began turning his head towards Zenitsu. Without fail, Tanjiro grabbed the teacher’s face to hold it in place. 

“Wait, you’ve got something in your eye,” the maroon haired boy said with all the sincerity he could muster. The white snake around the man’s shoulder hissed. “I think it could be doubt,” Tanjiro nodded as if agreeing with himself. Zenitsu inched further away. If he could get to the bathroom, he could pretend he had been there the entire time. 

“Get your hands off of me,” the teacher said firmly. Zenitsu could feel the air change. A certain aura darkened the hallway. He saw Mr. Iguro grab Tanjiro’s wrist and push him away. “If you ever touch me again, you will have three times more homework than everyone else until the end of your school days here,” he threatened. Tanjiro instantly dropped his other hand. 

Keep going, keep going, keep going, Zenitsu repeated to himself as he all but ran to the bathroom. This mission was worth it though. In honor of true love, it was worth it. Zenitsu grinned. If everything went well, Miss Kanroji would soon be Mrs. Iguro. 

———-

Graduation went smoothly. Mitsuri went through the line to shake hands with the university president and almost nearly tripped one time over the threshold between the stage and staircase. Her mom probably caught it on camera much to her embarrassment. Obanai told her her clumsiness was adorable and her face turned into a cherry. 

After dinner with her family, Obanai asked if she wanted to take an evening stroll through the park. They walked hand in hand as the sun started to set. He led her towards the fountain as she babbled about her new job. 

“I’m sort of nervous about working for her, you know? I worked at the pizza shop for so long, I’ll probably start listing off pizza toppings instead of plotlines,” she said. “I’m honored to collaborate with a best selling shojo artist, but it’s wild to think I was picked out of a thousand applicants.”

“Because she knows you’re the most talented upcoming manga artist,” Obanai reassured her. She was lucky to be with such a kind gentleman. The water fountain was coming into view. It was at the center of the park and one of Mitsuri’s favorite spots in the city. It was so pretty with the mermaid and koi fish statues decorating the centerpiece. The mermaids held vases to pour water out of while the koi circled the perimeter. 

“Do you want to sit down for a bit?” Obanai asked and she nodded. She bounced up to the stone bench next to the fountain. Mitsuri sat down and flashed her boyfriend a smile. This was the perfect end to her day. Graduation, dinner with her family, and an evening with her boyfriend. She would give him his mended lab coat when they got back to her car. He was going to freak out when he saw it. Just thinking about it made her giddy. 

“I could spend every day like this,” Mitsuri commented. “Seeing my family and then hanging out with you. You’re my favorite person. Oh, remind me I have a gift in my car for you.”

Obanai was still standing and she gently tugged on his hand to have him sit down. His sweet eyes focused on her. His brows were relaxed and he was smiling under the mask. With his free hand, he reached up to remove the white mask. Mitsuri tilted her head. His allergies were especially bad during the summer. 

“You shouldn’t take off your mask! The pollen count is really high today,” Mitsuri panicked, reaching up to put the mask over his face again. “I don’t want you to get sick or have a coughing fit.”

“It’ll be fine for a second,” Obanai cleared his throat. His palms were sweating now from the humidity. “You’re my favorite person too. When I’m with you I forget about all my problems and just have fun.” He pulled something out of his pocket. A small maroon velvet box. Mitsuri covered her mouth as Obanai got down on one knee. Was he going to- Water already started leaking from her eyes. 

“I want to spend every day with you. From this day to my last. I want to see your bubbly face each morning. Each afternoon I want to see you eating sakura mochi and each evening I want to kiss you good night. Will you marry me, Mitsuri?” Obanai asked. His voice began to shake towards the end. Hesitantly, he opened the jewelry box to reveal a golden ring with emeralds surrounding a pink diamond to match her hair. 

“Yes!” Mitsuri screamed and threw herself on him in her excitement. His back hit the pathed ground and she draped herself over him. “Yes, yes, yes,” Mitsuri said, green eyes flashing. She brought her lips to his, giving him a peck. He didn’t like public displays of affection, but she couldn’t control herself. Obanai returned her smile before coughing. 

“Oops, sorry,” Mitsuri climbed off of him and sat on the ground beside him. Obanai sat beside her and took the ring out of the box to place on her left. “I think you just gave me the best gift possible,” she said admiring the glimmering jewels. “This is so much better than what I got you.”

“Doubtful,” he said. “You just gave me the best gift of all. The promise to marry me and live together until we’re old and gray,” he ran a thumb over her cheek. Now she sucked in her breath as large tears rolled down her face. He stole her words.

[nakasumi-sims]

Cody Graves for Simblr's Saddest, Wettest Meow Meow @simblorbo-bracket

I mean, you can't get as pathetic and meow meow as this man. He's the literal embodiment of a scraggly feral cat. A bisexual disaster who wouldn't hesitate to fight you if you looked at him wrong. He'd live in the middle of woods out of his van while running his paranormal investigation business if he could.

You see this? This is basically him.

Might as well start from the beginning:

Cody wasn't a wanted child but was kept because his parents are religious and might as well have something to keep around as a prop to pretend you're a good family and use him to boost their social status.

One reason his parents hate him, especially his mom, is due to his ability to interact with spirits. As a toddler, he'd act strangely as if he were talking to nothing and reply strangely to his parents when asked about it. He would talk to these spirits fairly often up until about age 4. It creeped his parents out enough that they made him shut up about it and tried to keep any weird creepy stuff away from him in an attempt to make him normal. It didn't work.

He was heavily neglected and abused throughout his childhood and into adulthood due to not being how his parents wanted him to be. He was almost constantly injured either from his own parents or his own accidents. Since he had a lot of his own accidents, his parents blamed any serious injuries they gave him on Cody being clumsy.

Whenever Cody's dressed as he likes, his parents refer to him as a wet rat. Many times of coming home absolutely filthy from exploring abandoned places while looking for ghosts and monsters didn't help this.

He ran away from home multiple times starting at age 13 and ran to another state to live out in a cave he found after he fell down a cliff and broke his arm. It's been his secret spot to run away to ever since. He still goes there as an adult if he wants to disappear for awhile.

He's often very combative, distrustful, hateful towards other people and rarely sees other people as human and just things due to his upbringing. He gets into violent fights often either picking them himself or by others antagonizing him. He sees the paranormal as more 'human' than actual humans and is more comfortable dealing with that vs people.

He has most of his criminal record hidden since his mom has a lot of contacts and she can't let her garbage excuse for a son ruin her image.

His crimes (if they stuck) include: Multiple counts of trespassing, assault and battery, aggravated assault, and disorderly conduct. Though most of the time, he's able to get away from the police on his own to avoid trouble.

Only in recent years being part of the Paranormal Club, he's learned to accept some people as ok and his friends try to help him be better. In his 3 years of friendship with them, he's grown a lot and is a lot less likely to immediately resort to violence (depending).

Due to his unapproachable nature, he's only been in 3 romantic relationships. His first relationship in high school was going ok with some rockiness due to "sexual incompatibility" until he brought her home and his parents drove her away by saying vile things about Cody and treating her like dirt in the most polite way possible. His second was in his first year of college and she also ultimately dumped him due to "sexual incompatibility". Which in both cases was...he got dumped because his dick is too big. Currently, he's engaged to another (probably worse) meow meow, Satoru, the god of karma who he's helplessly attached and devoted to. They're poor, wet meow meows together causing problems~

It's uncertain, but if Satoru got taken away from him to go back to god baby jail, Cody would become infinitely worse. This man would become the most pathetic, horrible mess to get him back. Starting it out with becoming a depressed, sobbing mess that would put Bella Swan to shame. He'd do everything in his power and spend every waking moment searching the world to find him again and abandoning everything else. His conspiracy wall would become overtaken by pictures, drawings, and clues to finding Satoru. He'd keep everything Satoru's collected waiting for him except for the rotting food, but he'd cry before throwing it away. He'd bawl every time he saw a fox and would fight gods to get Satoru back even if it was futile.

And now just a list of ridiculous recent examples and memes:

Threatened and tried to attack a group of men who were making fun of him and Satoru while they were at a restaurant. Would've fought them if Satoru didn't stop him.

Almost died from getting stabbed in the lung with a stiletto by his mother during a campaign event.

Got drunk at a bar and got way too handsy with Satoru on the dance floor then both almost killed a guy for trying to join in. Along with multiple other public acts.

Committed fraud by saying he was his father while renting a hotel room which started a rumor that his father was cheating and made him pay $200 in damages.

Walked into a different fancy hotel, covered in demon blood vomit.

Made out in the rain in a taco bell parking lot.

Got into a situation with a serial killer and injured him a few times while surviving the ordeal.

Was going to murder, torture, and let Satoru eat the girl who got him into the situation with the serial killer and hurt his best friend.

Helped start a cult.

Growled at and threatened a woman who tried flirting with Satoru.

[simblorbo-bracket]

Round 2 - Simblr's Saddest, Wettest Meow Meow - Mainline

Anthony "Tony" Bronson (@little-creature-bites) VS. Cody Graves (@nakasumi-sims)

(polls are presented left -> right unless stated otherwise)

Who's sadder? Who's wetter? Read on for more information, and vote with your heart!

What is a ‘Meow Meow’?

(taken from tumblr user @/torturelabyrinth) “The thing about a true poor little meow meow is they have to be 1) downtrodden 2) morally questionable at best 3) deeply and pathetically miserable”

Anthony "Tony" Bronson

Tony was created for the purpose of trying out some apocalypse-themed mods. He turned out to be so much more than that.

A Little Background:

Tony is a rugged guy trying to make it work after the end of the world. He lives alone, suspicious of strangers. Before the end, he served in the military. But they quickly abandoned him (and the rest of sim society) after things started to go south. His bunker is located in Evergreen Harbor, where he spends his days searching for old food, junk, fighting off the cold of nuclear winter, and bathing himself in the sink fifteen times in a row because there is nothing else to do in a bunker.

What's Tony Done?:

Tony's done a lot to survive.

He's betrayed his country.

He's abandoned the sim citizens he once swore to protect.

He's even walked away from the one woman he promised to stand beside.

Why Is Tony So Sad?:

There are plenty of reasons why Tony is the way he is.

He'd only joined the army to bond with his stoic, ex-military father, because the only kind of man he'd accept Tony becoming was one like him.

He'd isolated himself, turning away from others, because he couldn't live with the guilt of not being able to help fix the mess he'd unintentionally helped create.

He'd walked away from his ex-fiancee because while he may have ended up like his father, he would be damned before he let the love of his life end up in a marriage like his mother's.

Is Tony Simblr's Saddest, Wettest Meow Meow?:

Thank you for taking the time to read this submission. I'm sure you'll find Tony suitably sad and wet but, if you need any more convincing, here's some extra Tony fun-facts!

Tony's dream is to live on the beach, away from nuclear winter.

In his loneliness, Tony dreamt of a secret admirer that came to whisk him away, and that admirer was Agnes Crumplebottom; so he's canonically into older women.

Cody Graves

I mean, you can't get as pathetic and meow meow as this man. He's the literal embodiment of a scraggly feral cat. A bisexual disaster who wouldn't hesitate to fight you if you looked at him wrong. He'd live in the middle of woods out of his van while running his paranormal investigation business if he could.

You see this? This is basically him.

Might as well start from the beginning:

Cody wasn't a wanted child but was kept because his parents are religious and might as well have something to keep around as a prop to pretend you're a good family and use him to boost their social status.

One reason his parents hate him, especially his mom, is due to his ability to interact with spirits. As a toddler, he'd act strangely as if he were talking to nothing and reply strangely to his parents when asked about it. He would talk to these spirits fairly often up until about age 4. It creeped his parents out enough that they made him shut up about it and tried to keep any weird creepy stuff away from him in an attempt to make him normal. It didn't work.

He was heavily neglected and abused throughout his childhood and into adulthood due to not being how his parents wanted him to be. He was almost constantly injured either from his own parents or his own accidents. Since he had a lot of his own accidents, his parents blamed any serious injuries they gave him on Cody being clumsy.

Whenever Cody's dressed as he likes, his parents refer to him as a wet rat. Many times of coming home absolutely filthy from exploring abandoned places while looking for ghosts and monsters didn't help this.

He ran away from home multiple times starting at age 13 and ran to another state to live out in a cave he found after he fell down a cliff and broke his arm. It's been his secret spot to run away to ever since. He still goes there as an adult if he wants to disappear for awhile.

He's often very combative, distrustful, hateful towards other people and rarely sees other people as human and just things due to his upbringing. He gets into violent fights often either picking them himself or by others antagonizing him. He sees the paranormal as more 'human' than actual humans and is more comfortable dealing with that vs people.

He has most of his criminal record hidden since his mom has a lot of contacts and she can't let her garbage excuse for a son ruin her image.

His crimes (if they stuck) include: Multiple counts of trespassing, assault and battery, aggravated assault, and disorderly conduct. Though most of the time, he's able to get away from the police on his own to avoid trouble.

Only in recent years being part of the Paranormal Club, he's learned to accept some people as ok and his friends try to help him be better. In his 3 years of friendship with them, he's grown a lot and is a lot less likely to immediately resort to violence (depending).

Due to his unapproachable nature, he's only been in 3 romantic relationships. His first relationship in high school was going ok with some rockiness due to "sexual incompatibility" until he brought her home and his parents drove her away by saying vile things about Cody and treating her like dirt in the most polite way possible. His second was in his first year of college and she also ultimately dumped him due to "sexual incompatibility". Which in both cases was...he got dumped because his dick is too big. Currently, he's engaged to another (probably worse) meow meow, Satoru, the god of karma who he's helplessly attached and devoted to. They're poor, wet meow meows together causing problems~

It's uncertain, but if Satoru got taken away from him to go back to god baby jail, Cody would become infinitely worse. This man would become the most pathetic, horrible mess to get him back. Starting it out with becoming a depressed, sobbing mess that would put Bella Swan to shame. He'd do everything in his power and spend every waking moment searching the world to find him again and abandoning everything else. His conspiracy wall would become overtaken by pictures, drawings, and clues to finding Satoru. He'd keep everything Satoru's collected waiting for him except for the rotting food, but he'd cry before throwing it away. He'd bawl every time he saw a fox and would fight gods to get Satoru back even if it was futile.

And now just a list of ridiculous recent examples and memes:

Threatened and tried to attack a group of men who were making fun of him and Satoru while they were at a restaurant. Would've fought them if Satoru didn't stop him.

Almost died from getting stabbed in the lung with a stiletto by his mother during a campaign event.

Got drunk at a bar and got way too handsy with Satoru on the dance floor then both almost killed a guy for trying to join in. Along with multiple other public acts.

Committed fraud by saying he was his father while renting a hotel room which started a rumor that his father was cheating and made him pay $200 in damages.

Walked into a different fancy hotel, covered in demon blood vomit.

Made out in the rain in a taco bell parking lot.

Got into a situation with a serial killer and injured him a few times while surviving the ordeal.

Was going to murder, torture, and let Satoru eat the girl who got him into the situation with the serial killer and hurt his best friend.

Helped start a cult.

Growled at and threatened a woman who tried flirting with Satoru.

[kissorkill16]

You're Not My Girl: A Hello Neighbor Fanfic

By JJ

Summary: Maritza finally confesses her feelings, but at the worst time.

One of the crow people threw Trinity and Maritza into a dark room with a flickering light.

"We'll be right back, we have to go find the rest of your little friends.", it said, then it left.

The two girls were left alone in the room.

As the door slammed closed, Trinity immediately ran to the door and started pounding on it, trying to get it open.

Maritza just sat in the corner and watched her.

Trinity wasn't the girl she thought she was anymore. This girl was a monster. A feral, obsessive, overconfident monster. Nothing like the Trinity she met when she first moved to Raven Brooks.

Her mind flashed back to their first meeting.

She was nearly hit by a can lid, and she whispered to her...

"Is this club for inventors or executioners?"

Maritza laughed a little bit. She was sassy, that was one of the things she liked about her.

Then she flashed back to a place where that girl she knew and loved started to fade away.

"You know we needed every single one of us last time.", she said, "You really gonna quit a game before it's over?"

Maritza suddenly realized that Trinity wasn't encouraging her to keep going, she was manipulating her because she knew Maritza liked sports and didn't like losing.

Well, she lost one thing during this whole adventure...

Her common sense.

Trinity finally stopped banging on the door, but didn't back away from it.

"This. Is. All. Your. Fault."

Maritza's eyes widened when she said that. She couldn't believe she was saying that. "What?"

Trinity turned around to look at Maritza. "Out of all of the people I thought were the traitor, I never thought it'd be you. But I should've known. You tricked me into thinking you didn't want anything to do with this, and then as soon as I had the book, you took it when I least suspected!"

Maritza's eyes widened a little more. "You think that's what happened?"

"Why else would you betray me?", asked Trinity. "Why else would you give the book to those freaks? Why else would you run from me? Why else would you lie to me?"

Trinity moved towards Maritza, and she stepped back, but Trinity moved in closer.

Maritza had dreamed of being this close to Trinity before, but never like this.

"You're a lying, cheating, stealing rat, Maritza Esposito. I can't believe I ever trusted you."

It was at that moment that Maritza felt something snap inside her. She pushed Trinity to the ground and stomped to her.

"THAT ISN'T FAIR!", she yelled. "Don't you try to blame this on me!"

Trinity backed away from her, completely shocked.

"Would you like me to explain why I even did all of this in the first place?!", said Maritza. "I was chased by one of those freaks, and they kidnapped me and brought me here. They threatened me with Enzo's safety and said that I needed to get the book or else he dies, so yeah. I stole the book because I care about my brother, I care about my family, I care about my friends more than you do!"

Trinity sat up a little, completely taken aback by what Maritza just said. "What are you talking about? Of course I care about my friends!"

"Do you? Do you really care about us?", asked Maritza. "The only thing you've ever been concerned about was finding out who Crowface truly was. Nicky's gone insane, the boys are giving up, and you still want to keep going?!", Maritza took a breath and lowered her voice a little. "We tried to keep up, we tried to help you, we tried to work with you as the team you needed. But the second something goes wrong, or we decide to not go through with it because we don't want to die, what do you do? You turn on us, accuse us of not being loyal or just go jump headfirst into danger without thinking about it!"

Maritza felt her eyes fill with tears, but she blinked them away.

"You're not the Trinity I used to love."

Trinity looked at Maritza, now both shocked and confused.

"Yes. I loved you, way more than Enzo did. I thought you were sweet, sassy, smart, confident, brave, and perseverant. When you helped me out of that bear trap, I thought you were my guardian angel.", she said, her voice starting to break. "But then you got too obsessed, hellbent on solving this case, almost like how Nicky was with finding out that Mr. Peterson was a murderer.", she took another breath. "Nicky only wanted us to believe him, you wanted us to walk into death. And now look where we are."

Maritza leaned down to meet Trinity's eyes, and she pointed a finger to her chest.

"You're the real monster, Trinity Bales.", she said, "I might never see my brother again, but I guess that doesn't matter to you, huh? All that matters to you is Crowface's identity. I hope you die."

She stood back up and walked to the opposite corner of the room, falling down to her knees and curling up to hug them.

She wanted to take back what she said, but she was too angry and sad to apologize to Trinity. She knew she was also in the wrong for what she did, but she was young, just a kid, she wanted to protect her family.

Was that so wrong?

As she kept to herself, Trinity just sat in her place, still processing what Maritza just said to her.

Mr. Peterson's words ringing in her ear.

"You're a little monster. Your parents know it, I know it, and soon, everyone will."

That's how she knew that Maritza knew.

[highmarc]

Big family – big problems with (f)MC

For Liz. My friend who requested it a week ago (or so). I'm sorry if I got your idea wrong. Sebastian and Ominis here.

Sebastian

3 kids – I see a boy and two girls (Yes, I’m tumblr version of Sybill Trelawney).

The two girls are constantly fighting, while their brother mimics their father (you know in which way).

MC and Sebastian are too busy working. Complete chaos type of family.

First daughter: It’s mine!

Second daughter: No, daddy gave it to me!

First daughter: No, you stupid sleazeball head!

*the sound of a book being ripped in half*

Second daughter: Look what you’ve done! Stupid-

*the fighting between the two starts*

Sebastian walks in, yawning, with five o’clock shadow and red-eyed.

Sebastian: These two will be the death of me…

The girls pay zero attention to their dad.

And that’s why the only way to calm them down is levioso.

Sebastian: Now what is this about? *points at the book*

First daughter: It was her! She took the book from my table!

Second daughter: No, it wasn’t me!

Their brother walks in, holding a single page from the very book which now lied ripped apart.

Son: Daad. Daaad? *sees the mess and smiles*

Sebastian: Weren’t you the one looking after them?

Son: I-

Sebastian: What?

*hides the page behind his back*

Sebastian: Accio page! *takes the page and looks through it* Those are not the spells for a second year, you know.

Son: But daaad!

Sebastian: Now be off to your room. We’ll talk later.

Later that day.

Sebastian: These children are giving me migraines.

MC: *giggles* Says Sebastian Sallow, a family man.

Sebastian: These two are always fighting over anything – books, toys, sweets. And our precious boy is quite something, too. Looking through a 6th year spellbook and nearly blowing the house up, because “I thought it was perfectly safe!”.

MC: Mhm. He reminds me if someone I know.

Sebastian: That Weasley? Garreth?

MC: No. He is just like you. The spitting image. In every aspect.

Sebastian: Noo, I wasn’t like this. Ever.

MC: Oh but of course. Wait until he learns of the restricted sect-

Sebastian: Merlin’s beard. Can we homeschool him?  

MC: Sebastian, no.

Ominis

I think he would make a perfect stay-at-home dad. MC would be that workaholic mom.

4 kids (3 boys and a girl) would keep him busy for sure.

Ominis: *finally decides to take a break*

Daughter: Daddy, daaad! *runs screaming*

Ominis: What is it? *legit scared*

Daughter: There’s a talking snake in our garden!

Ominis: *shakes his head* Sunshine, snakes don’t talk.

Daughter: This one does! It says there are rats in the cellar.

Ominis: What?

Daughter: And it asked if it could eat them.

Ominis: How polite of it.

Daughter: Is it a snake prince? Can I bring him home?

Ominis: No, you can’t. It can be dangerous.

Daughter: But it’s a talking snake!

Ominis: Snakes don’t talk-

Daughter: He heard that too! *points at her brother*

Ominis: *sighs* Where was that snake? Let’s pay it a visit.

Later that evening.  

Ominis: Darling?

MC: Mm?

Ominis: Our children have brought a snake to their room.

MC: They wha-

Ominis: I know. They think I didn’t notice.

MC: Shall I talk to them or-

Ominis: No, no. It’s harmless. It considers our little one.. a friend. That is a part I’m wary of.

MC: I don’t know what to say.

Ominis: I’m shocked too. I thought this wouldn’t pass down to them. How careless of me.

MC: Are you going to tell them about you-know-what?

Ominis: Not now. Maybe later. Later later. Perhaps when they finish school?

MC: You think they won’t find something out on their own?

Ominis: I don’t know.

MC: Did they choose a name for their… friend?

Ominis: You won’t believe how hilarious it is.

MC: Surprise me then.

Ominis: She named it Daisy.

Bonus:

How they reacted each time a child of their was born

Sebastian

First one:

I what? I’M GOING TO BE A FATHER??? *goes ferally happy*  

Wait, is it a boy? SEBASTIAN JUNIOUR THAT IS!

Second one:

Sebastian: Oh, I guess Sebastian Juniour is going to have a company?

A girl? ANNE JUNIOUR

MC: Sebastian, no.

Sebastian: Sebastian yes!

Third one:

Sebastian: As if those two weren’t enough *tired as hell* Maybe it’s time to stop…

MC: Yes, I think so. *tired as hell too*

Ominis

First one:

Oh, I’m going to be a father? Pulling my leg again, aren’t you? *laughs it off and thinks of it as a joke*

WAIT YOU’RE SERIOUS? *faints*

Ominis: Is it a girl?

MC: No, Ominis. A baby boy that is.

Ominis: All right, what are the casual boy names? I guess I’ll have to name you Sebastian.

MC: As if having one Sebastian in your life wasn’t enough. *giggles*

Second one:

Ominis: It is a girl?

MC: Twin boys.

Ominis: WHA- *faints*

Third one:

Ominis: Is it a girl?

MC: It is.

Ominis: *grabs the baby* CAN I NAME HER NOCT-

MC: Ominis, no.

Ominis: *sad face*

MC: Argh. As a middle name – maybe.

[sheena-is-a-punk-rocker]

Sometimes a family is a girl, her pet rat, a traumatized soldier, and his feral girlfriend

Got a prompt over on AO3 that was basically just Sebastian being Rick's lil buddy and it turned into Rick and Harley accidentally adopting Cleo and Sebastian.

Rick jolts awake at the sound of a soft knock on the front door. He can just make it out over the sound of the torrential downpour that’s going on outside. The knock gets louder. Harley stirs beside him but doesn’t wake.

As a precaution, he grabs her baseball bat from the corner of their room and goes to answer the door. He cracks it open, bat hidden behind the door, and is shocked at what he sees.

Ratcatcher Two is standing out in the hallway, soaked to the bone and shivering. She’s got Sebastian the rat cradled in her hands.

Before he can say anything, Harley comes up and wraps her arms around him from behind. “Who’s at the door, baby?” she asks sleepily.

“Uh… It’s Cleo and Sebastian.”

“Hmm?” It takes a second for her brain to catch up but suddenly she’s wide awake and shoving him aside. “Oh my god! Get inside, hun, you must be freezing!”

Cleo sniffs and tells them, “I had to leave my living situation—it was becoming dangerous. We didn’t know where else to go. Sebastian figured out where you lived a while ago, Colonel Flag, since you saved him from Peacemaker.”

Sebastian waves from his spot in Cleo’s hands and Rick awkwardly waves back. It’s true that they’d saved each other back in Corto Maltese but it still feels weird to be waving at a rat.

He can hear water running and then Harley’s back. “C’mon, sweetie, let’s get ya into the shower so you can warm up. Towels are on top of the toilet and I got dry clothes for ya when ya get out.”

Once Cleo silently slips into the bathroom, she turns to Rick and says, “Baby, I love you but you’re absolutely useless right now.”

“Right, sorry. Lemme get the couch set up for her.”

Harley helps him wrangle a fitted sheet over the couch and stack several blankets and a pillow on top of it. Once that’s done he goes into the kitchen to make some quick breakfast sandwiches—his specialty. He even makes a tiny one for Sebastian.

He brings them out to the living room and he sees Cleo sitting on the couch with Harley. She’s wearing an oversized t-shirt and a pair of fuzzy pajama bottoms. He can hear her saying, “I had to get out of there. We were fine until it started raining and we couldn’t find anywhere dry to sleep.”

“Well you’re stayin’ here as long as ya need to.”

He sets the sandwiches on the coffee table and Sebastian immediately starts eating his but Cleo looks wary. “C’mon, eat up. You must be starving.”

She reaches for the sandwich and takes a small bite. “Thank you, Colonel Flag.”

“Please call me Rick.”

He goes to the bathroom to clean up the wet towels and hang up Cleo’s soaked clothes, figuring that she doesn’t want an audience while she eats.

Harley’s tucking her into bed on the couch when he gets back, Sebastian fast asleep on the pillow next to her head.

She creeps back over to him, flicking the lamp off and bathing the apartment in darkness. They stand there and watch the pair for a second. She leans against his side and sighs, “Can we keep her?”

He chuckles. “Yeah, we can keep her. C’mon, let’s go to bed, Harls.”

----------------

Cleo awakens slowly from the best sleep she’s ever experienced. It takes her a second to recognize her surroundings but then she remembers last night. She stumbles towards the sound of voices and the smell of bacon.

“Sometimes I wish I had two of ya,” she hears Harley say.

As she walks into the kitchen she vaguely registers the couple wrapped up in each other’s arms as Harley sips from a coffee mug. “Why do you want two Colonel Flags?” she asks sleepily.

Harley promptly spits her coffee all over Colonel Flag, which immediately wakes Cleo up. Had she said something wrong? He’s now blushing furiously, which just confuses her more.

“I’ll tell ya when you’re older,” Harley manages to wheeze out once she’s done coughing.

Oh. Oh! That explains a lot.

Colonel Flag excuses himself so he can change his shirt and Harley busies herself with getting a plate down from the cupboard and loading it up with scrambled eggs and bacon. She sets it on the table and says, “Dig in!”

Colonel Flag comes back with a dry shirt on and says, “Okay, so we’re all just gonna forget the last two minutes and focus on finding Ratcatcher Two here a place to live.”

“Oh. No, that’s okay, Sebastian and I will be okay on the streets again.” It’s really all she’s ever known besides the four walls of a prison cell.

“Fuck that!” Harley says. “Sweetie, we can’t in good conscience just let ya be homeless again.”

“Why?”

“You… you literally told me you got threatened with a knife yesterday, hun.”

“Oh well we’re not gonna go back there obviously.”

She’d been squatting at the old orphanage with a group of homeless teenagers and that had been working out fine for the last month. That is, until things turned violent when one of them got too high and had a bad trip.

She doesn’t argue this time when Harley insists that she needs to be off the streets and that she thinks there’s a few units available in their building.

-------------

Cleo trails behind the couple as they make their way down to the leasing office. Her heart is pounding and she’s trying to keep her breakfast down. She already knows she can’t afford a place in this building—she doesn’t even have a job. She’s been resorting to petty theft to stay afloat but hasn’t tried anything big like a bank robbery again. The last thing she wants is to get thrown in jail again.

The property manager—a balding man in an ill-fitting suit—eyes the three of them as they approach. Cleo hangs back in the corner while Colonel Flag and Harley stand there imposingly.

“So, here’s the deal,” Harley begins. “Our friend Cleo here is lookin’ for a place to live. Got any openings?”

He snorts. “Sure, but I highly doubt she can afford them.”

She can feel her face heating. He’s certainly not wrong. She clutches Sebastian tighter, who squeaks at her soothingly.

“How much?”

“Fifteen hundred.”

“Nah, that ain’t gonna work. Here’s what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna rent a place to her for three hundred a month, no more than that.”

“Do you know how much money I’d lose if I did that? I’m already renting to you two assholes practically for free!”

“Ya say that like I’m supposed to give a shit. Listen, we’re the reason you don’t have more supervillains crawlin’ all over this place but if that won’t persuade you, I got a baseball bat with your name on it.”

The property manager pales and manages to stammer out, “Ah, I think I do actually have a unit. But, uh, it won’t be available ‘til next month.”

“Perfect!” Harley chirps. She turns to Cleo and throws her arm around her shoulders. “Looks like you’re stayin’ with us for a couple weeks!”

As they’re leaving the property manager’s office, Harley remarks, “Ya know, I think that License to Kill shirt I got ya for your birthday really helped our case.”

Colonel Flag sighs and says, “Harls, we really need to do laundry.”

“Not it!”

The couple continues to bicker about whose turn it is to do laundry as they make their way back to the apartment.

“I could do it,” Cleo pipes up from behind them. It’s the least she can do to thank them.

They immediately stop arguing and turn to look back at her. In unison, they say, “Abso-fucking-lutely not.”

Harley elaborates, “You’re our guest, hun. We’re not gonna make ya do chores. Especially because it’s his turn to do laundry!”

Colonel Flag pinches the bridge of his nose and says, “Harls, we’ve been over this. I gave you a break last week because you were hungover. It’s your turn!”

“Most of it is your laundry anyway!” Harley whines.

“Because you keep stealing my shirts!”

“… Okay, ya got me there.”

------------------

Cleo wasn’t exactly sure what to expect when she knocked on Colonel Flag’s door. She wasn’t entirely surprised to see him living with Harley Quinn, after their epic love confession in the ruins of Jotunheim. What she was surprised to see was just how domestic the couple’s life had become.

Over the next few weeks she listens to them bicker like an old married couple about some of the stupidest things but she also sees the way Harley comes up behind Colonel Flag for a hug every night while he cooks dinner, and how she’s always making sure he’s taken his meds at bedtime, and the way he carries Harley to the couch when she’s complaining of cramps and just wants to lay on the couch and eat raw cookie dough all day.

He’s even carried Cleo to the couch once when she embarrassingly fell asleep at the breakfast table—she really doesn’t function well early in the morning.

She’d woken up with her head on Harley’s lap and the TV volume on low.

“Mornin’, sweetie! Sleep well?” she’d chirped, just as Colonel Flag was carrying her abandoned breakfast plate over to the coffee table.

Having been homeless or in prison her whole life, she essentially needs a crash course in being a functioning adult in society. She’s never opened up a bank account, learned how to cook, or had a job.

The first order of business is opening up a bank account, which Harley helps her do. Ten thousand dollars magically appear in said bank account the next day and Cleo doesn’t question it. It’ll give her a nest egg to live off of until she figures out the whole job situation—if she even wants one, Harley comments. Being a criminal is a perfectly respectable career, in her opinion. Cleo needs to think on it.

While Harley is dragging her all over Gotham to various stores so she can buy things for her new apartment and clothes and other necessities, Sebastian is having the time of his life with Colonel Flag. It warms her heart to see them interact. Sebastian helps with the cooking and every Friday they watch football together.

“Baby, we’re gonna borrow the d-bag truck. Where’re the keys?”

“Stop calling it that,” Colonel Flag deadpans, without even taking his eyes off the TV. He rummages around in his pocket and tosses the keys over his shoulder, Harley catching them easily.

“Why do you call it a d-bag truck?” Cleo asks as they make their way to the building’s parking garage.

The car they stop in front of is a massive black pickup truck, and suddenly the moniker makes sense.

They come home from furniture shopping three hours later to find the boys sulking.

“Did your sportsball team win?” Harley asks.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Sebastian squeaks indignantly in agreement.

It’s with a mixture of sadness and hope that she receives the keys to her new apartment on the first of the next month. This place has become home for her. She’s never felt safer or more cared for than she has in the last few weeks. She’ll miss watching movies on the couch with Harley and watching Colonel Flag and Sebastian cooking together. She’ll even miss the couple’s constant bickering about who’s responsible for doing laundry (somehow the answer always seems to be neither of them).

The sadness doesn’t last long though. She’s been moved in for two days when the couple shows up on her front doorstep, inviting her over for family dinner, as Harley puts it.

She ends up at their place every Tuesday and Saturday night for dinner going forward.

[calciumdeficientt]

ELLIE CONEY HCS WITH HER TOXIC YURI GF HCS RN

Ouuuuuugh ellieeeeeeeee save me Ellie. Please save me. Lotta love for jock ocs. Even more love for ocs that are just,,, awful, compllicated people

ELLIE CONEY HCS

Winner of the 2006 most hompohobic lesbian competition. Shes bitter, and angry and so far inside the closet that if she’s not careful someone is gonna pick her up and donate her to the Goodwill. She thinks all men are a scourge on the earth, even more so gay men. This comes on account of the fact her dad divorced her mum to run off with another, younger man and start a new life. Leaving his current family destitute and her mother reliant on booze to stay alive. She became a proto-mother very young and therefore wants absolutely nothing to do with motherhood, children, or any of that sort of stuff. She had to raise kids when she was just a kid herself, she’s had quite enough of them. He dad’s betrayal created a deep seated hatred for queerness as well as for men.

Ellis is a young trans girlie, when her father left, her mother drank herself to the point of memory loss. Sort of like a lobotomy. The disintegration of their nuclear family allowed her to change her identity without much pushback from her mother. She was able to start puberty blockers pretty young on account of saving a lot of her money from birthdays, Christmas ses ect. Her parents sort of forgot about her because she was the oldest. She never got presents, just money and she saved all of it for a rainy day. Her dad was also into some pretty shady shit, so he had a stash of money in their house that she stumbled across and used to begin her transition.

Traditionally feminine girl, she likes bows and pink and glitter and honestly, the reason she’s not cheer captain is because she’d run that squad like it was the navy. She views anything and everything masculine as a threat and has very rigid ideas on what should and shouldn’t be accepted as valid expressions of femininity. Despite being a member of the jocks clique, she hates their guts, The only one she’s even remotely close to is Juri, and its because he’s secretly a very effeminate dude. Her repulsion of boys runs so deep that if she can help it, she will hide out in her dorm room all day until she is literally forced to go to class by a prefect.

HATES. Blood and guts and dirt. Shes the kind of girl to faint during biology class. The only reason she’s passing is because she makes Beatrice do all of her assignments for her. They’re kind of friends, both of them are manipulative bitches. They get on pretty well. It’s also. Another key reason she hates the jocks, they’re all essentially, sweaty, bloody, dirty animals and she’s not down with that like at ALL. Ellie can barely manage A Nightmare on Elm Street without getting squeamish and whining for it to be turned off.

Owner of a very extensive, very precious collection of scrunches. Her collection is her prise and joy, and as she ages she finds there’s lots of other, equally childish and girly stuff that she can collect. This eventually ends up in her becoming a particularly intense disney adult. You can’t really blame her, she didn’t have much of a childhood, but it infects EVERYTHING in her life. Her whole house is disney, her car is Disney. Her SOUL belongs to the mouse.

Shares a dorm with Lenora, and these two fuckers HATE each other. Ellie hatred of Lenora manifests because she’s a masculine woman who also happens to be comfortable in her identity as a lesbian; and Lenora hates Ellie because her phoney ‘girl’s girl’ act doesn’t extend to her, in fact she’s personally victimised by Ellie a LOT. They’re a real enemies to lovers type deal, and not just a snide comment in the hallway or a dirty look before they go to bed. It’s full blown fights and pranks dialled up 10000 notches. They pounce on each other like feral wildcats and have to be pulled off of each other almost daily. Ellie once put rat poison in Lenora’s water and she was VERY sick for a good few weeks, and in retaliation, Lenora slammed a locker shut on Eliie’s hand and completely shattered her wrist.

It’s the literal definition of toxic yuri, but they keep gravitating back towards each other like they’re magnets. Secretly, Lenora lets her win fights because her childhood dream was to get beaten up by a pretty girl at least once. They’re so terrible for each other but its hard to deny that they’re a really cute couple, aesthetically anyway. If you get to know them you’ll realise that you should never hang out with them again. They’re poisonous, and that toxicity radiates off of them like they’re a drop and run canister of weapons grade uranium.

[bittybat28]

I’m in a Mary Goore mood so let’s do some head cannons! Goore x Reader

(18+ for this because there will be some NSFW, blood and because Mary is a perverted gremlin)

1. I believe Mary is in some way related to the Emeritus family so he now lives at the ministry in which he helps with the Ghost project all while spreading chaos with the Ghoul’s and scaring the living shit out of siblings and Sister Imperator!

2. Mary was never one to be in relationships but as soon as he saw you, he was obsessed. He tried to be everywhere you were, wether it was “bumping” into you while you were working or finding out your favorite places in the ministry so he could be there too. And he will often make sexual jokes because Mary is Mary and that’s one of the ways he flirts.

3. I feel as if he’s a lot like the Ghouls and will often bring you gifts to show he likes you. Bones are a big thing! He will make you jewelry out of the ones he finds (or digs up..he’ll never tell) and leave them in your room or in a favorite place you like to be. If you like stuffed animals, he will make one for you. He has a secret sewing hobby that no one knows about. His stuffed animals won’t exactly be normal of course. He’ll make you a bunny with one missing eye or a torn ear, the end hanging off by a safety pin! It’ll look beat up but he’s damn proud of it!

4. Mary is not good with speaking his emotions but he will try and show it. His affection’s can be rough because he definitely gets cute aggression. He loves you so much he just wants to squeeze you and kiss you to death! They want to touch you everywhere, even in public. If you’re a sibling of sin, his sneaky hands are trying to get under that habit or uniform. if you scold him, he will pout a bit but will hold your waist or put his hand at your ass instead.

5. Mary likes rough sex. He wants you screaming his name through the entire thing. Blood and knife kink all the way! He loves blood. The smell, the texture, the taste all drive him wild and it furthers that feral-ness in him when you’re covered in it! Wether it’s his blood or yours doesn’t matter and if you don’t like being cut, he will happily make the sacrifice instead. He’s a biter and his canines are oddly sharp for a human, easily piercing your skin. After care was never really a thing for him until he met you and you showed him how nice it was. Now he’ll kiss every wound and praise you, even draw you two a bath so he can wash you and you wash him because he needs it anyway!

6. Mary is a pack rat and will steal anything, especially if it belongs to you. You wear a certain chapstick everyday? It’s his now and he puts it on so his lips taste like yours if he can’t kiss you. Underwear is his favorite thing to take and those sticky fingers will snatch up your favorite pair to sniff whenever he misses you and your scent. Anything that reminds him of you he will steal and you’ll have to go digging through his room to find it which could be a bit of an adventure!

7. He’s obsessed and protective with you and will always find a way to watch you just to make sure no one is bothering you. They are not above beating the shit out of someone who even looks at you the wrong way! He will never ever tell you who you can and can’t hang out with but if someone gives him a bad feeling, he’s extra watchful and may cause extra mayhem to that person. If you guys are together in a group, Mary will have you on his lap or pressed into his side just to keep you close.

8. Mary suffers from night terrors and often wakes up yelling or fighting. No one knows what he dreams about because he refuses to talk about it but he often comes into your room at night, crawls into bed and just cuddles. He’s usually very dominant but in moments like these, he wants to be held and loved on. He’ll crawl between your legs and just flop down on your body, feeling your warmth. He loves it when you run your fingers through his hair or run your nails along his back. Give him kisses and sing to him! He’ll be out in minuets and won’t wake up again.

9. Some of Mary’s pet names are a little unconventional but that just adds to his charm. He’s calls you his little corpse, his raven, even calls you a little demon. Otherwise he calls you babe, sexy, hot stuff and sweetness! He will rarely ever use your actual name and he thinks it’s funny when you two call each other the most ridiculous things!

10. His idea of a date is usually fucking somewhere you’re not supposed to but he also loves a movie date where you two watch a scary movie and eat snacks together. He laughs at horror movies like they’re a comedy! He will take you on a midnight picnic to the ministries cemetery and tell you scary stories that make you want to jump into his arms so he can protect you! He can be an asshole and sometimes thick when it comes feelings and emotions but he will always try to make you happy and he will never let you go.

[ursulasfishandships]

HIIIIIIIII!!!

thank you for all the nice comments on my first post about this of the half sister in the Atreides family. i wanted to explore what that relationship would look like. is Jessica the final boss boy mom or is she just cursed by her mothers before her? i just have a lot of ideas on her life and her relationship with others. i’ll try to not make her mary sue, but my fixation on Feyd-Rautha will be showing through :P

MWAH let me know thoughts!

~

Cassandra Atreides was like a feral cat, she roamed as she pleased. Unlike her brother, she was not tied down to any duty. No Bene Gesserit training or noble duty plagued the girl. Instead, she sprinted through the halls barefoot, tracking in mud from outside. She was certainly Leto’s daughter.

Paul was happy to have a sister, or at least half of one. He was made acutely aware that she was just that. One half. And Paul was the heir, which didn’t seem to bother either child very much. It was only bothersome when it got into playtime. Then Paul would complain.

“Mother, why can’t I play with Cassie?”

The nickname itched at her, but she didn’t let it break skin.

“Cassandra is not a noble, Paul. She doesn’t have duties like you. No planet for her to reign when she’s older.”

Little Paul frowned for a moment, looking back at his little sister who still played with the wooden blocks.

“Can we get her a planet?” He was still naive to the ways of the world. He wanted a friend in his lessons, so he would change the course of the empire for her. Silly Paul, with that mindset, he would either make a horrible or a wonderful leader.

Jessica was unsure whether Cassandra got an education or not. It wasn’t her problem. From what she overheard, the maids happily taught her things. She had notebooks full of words, her “stories” according to the maids. They would bring her to the market and town like a commoner, running errands. If Jessica were Leto, she would never let that slide, but he did not seem to care so long as his sweet daughter would run to him and hug his shins.

Jessica did not hate Cassandra. No, that would be cruel and unkind, that would be what the Bene Gesserit wanted. Jessica was simply not the girl’s mother. And for Jessica, that was enough.

~

Cassandra had her elbows on the table at dinner. She ate the soup politely and all, it was just her elbows that bothered Jessica. No matter, she was not listening as Cassandra babbled on about where she had explored the forest while horseback riding. Paul and Leto listened intently, it was easy to see how they craved her freedom. Who wouldn’t? Even Jessica could feel the small green monster clawing at her throat the way the girl spoke. And for a moment, it escaped, slamming its fists on the table.

“Well you won’t be able to do that once you’re married.” Jessica said, almost offhanded. Leto had briefly mentioned to her how he had been discussing political strategy, especially with the Harkonnens. Perhaps the youngest of the clan needed a bride.

Cassandra’s head quirked up, looking at Jessica and then her father.

“Am I not too young to be married?” She half laughs, setting down her spoon. Leto let out a soft sigh.

“Not to politicians, you aren’t.” The words hung in the air for a moment.

“Shouldn’t Paul marry first?” Cassandra questioned.

“Paul is… different. His nobility-“

“And I don’t carry the same last name?” Cassandra’s voice grew stern and sharp. What a good Bene Gesserit she’d have been, too bad.

“Cassie, you do.” Leto said to her, keeping himself soft. She met his eyes in a fierce gaze, one that had Jessica questioning if she really was her daughter.

“But?”

“But, Paul is older and a son. You know he is training to take over for me.”

He was not wrong, he was simply just not speaking the whole truth. What kind of father would he be if spoke of her like she was? Bastard. Commoner. Plebeian. Street rat. Whore’s kin.

“Okay.” Was all she left it at.

~

[hood-ex]

How did you like mutant mayhem? who was your fav

Loved it!! I had SO much fun watching it!!

The turtles getting their groceries from shipping containers/trucks?? Brilliant! Love that take!

I was pressed when I read that Leo was going to have a crush on April, but I actually didn't mind it in this case. (Even though I 100% prefer for them to just be best friend's/family and would never want to see April with any of them). Like Leo being such a nerd made it work plus April didn't show any interest in him, so it didn't bug me like I thought it would. Now if they try to turn that into something in the future then we're gonna have a problem, but it being a one-sided thing that Leo will hopefully grow out of (quickly!) is fine.

Speaking of April, I LOVE this version of April, and I love how they switched up the reporter thing a bit with her being super anxious to be on air bc it made way for some character progression. I do tend to prefer her being quite a bit older than the turtles, but I feel like her being a teen like them works in this universe.

Also, I love it when Leo is characterized as a nerd who says cringey/nerdy things sometimes and they delivered on that beautifully here with his speeches. It's veryyy 2k12 Leo vibes. Fucking loved it. Especially loved it when Leo actually had an amazing rousing speech during the Superfly fight scene and then after Raph complimented him on it, Leo started geeking out about how cool he sounded LOL. Obsessed.

"GO NINJA, GO NINJA, GO!" I started screaming when this started playing!! Secret of the Ooze reference let's gooo!

The milking... THE MILKING... the nipples and the milking!! Mikey and Raph got milked!! That running joke killed me. Also, since Mikey got milked first, I couldn't help but compare that to 2k3 when Bishop was going to use a saw to cut into Mikey's carapace while all the other bros had to watch. Althouuugh... ngl, I kinda wish Raph had gone a little more berserk over Mikey getting milked since he's so protective, but I understand they were trying to keep the mood light even though... it was... a torture scene... so uhhh... anyway.

"6 N' THE MORNIN' POLICE AT MY DOOR!!" 😂

"He's molly-whopping me!" LMFAO I was wheezing

All the bros singing BTS for Donnie's sake, and Donnie being like, "You guys don't even know the words..." HAAA

I love it in every iteration when Splinter gets involved to save his boys and this time was no different. Hell yeah feral rat dad!!

Mikey and Mondo Gecko, hell yes!! Bro, when the explosion rocked all the turtles and Mikey was disoriented?? The way his eyes looked after that?? Yeees!

THEIR SHELLS CRACKED 😱😱😱!! That "I'm gonna crack you like pistachios" joke killed me though

WHEN THE NEW YORKERS STARTED HELPING THEM TAKE DOWN SUPERFLY YESSSS LET'S GOOOO!!

Mikey or whoever telling Raph he needed therapy ALSKDJA

All the mutants living in the sewers with the turtles?? Full House vibes!! With Bebop and Rocksteady there idk kinda weird but I guess it works for this version of them.

I could not with their high school fits like 😭 April please take them shopping 😭

All in all, I thought it was super fun and I couldn't stop laughing the entire time. There was still kiiinda more of a Leo focus this time around, but it wasn't nearly as much as the Rise movie, so I'm glad it felt more balanced between each brother (and thank god we didn't have to sit through another Leo vs. Raph type of beef thing).

I think in terms of characterization, Leo was definitely characterized the best and felt IC. I feel like there could've been a bit more development for Donnie, Raph, and Mikey. Donnie had his anime/kpop thing, Raph had his love for violence, and then Mikey... there wasn't anything super defining about him other than maybe the fact that he signed up for the improv team try outs. But honestly, I'm not that mad at it because I'm sure they'll get more fleshed out in the TV show that's coming in the future. Now that they're attending school, I do kinda hope that Donnie takes some kinda robotics/woodworking/science classes because I'd love to see him develop the skills he's always depicted with.

As for my fav, I mean, it should be noted that Mikey is always my guy and that I'm usually going to focus on him the most in every scene, but other than him, I'd say Leo. I also really enjoyed April, Splinter, and Superfly though.