#feral gremlin yoda

[david-talks-sw]

Okay so this is so stupid but it made me laugh.

There's this line in Yoda: Dark Rendezvous that made me laugh so much when I heard it on the audiobook:

“More than eight hundred years has Yoda survived, through dangers you could not dream." "I know how to kill," Dooku hissed. Yoda's eyes opened wide, like balls of green fire. "Yes - but Yoda knows how to live!”

Because it's great and epic and deep etc... but the first thing that came to my mind when I heard it again was the Jedi from the Auralnauts videos, in which they're all a bunch of party-goers who are so high on heroin they get magical powers.

So for a full 10 seconds what went through my mind was Yoda essentially telling Dooku:

"I've lived for 800 years, I've made love to a Hutt and did deathsticks with Gungans, I've beaten Orn Free Taa at a sandwich-eating contest and I rode a thermal-seeking missile over the Mandalorian skies, I tamed the Terentatek of Kashyyk and had a toga party with the Supreme Chancellor Lina Soh mere hours before she gave an important speech. Yoda doesn't just survive, Yoda knows how to fucking live, Dooku! What have you done with your life?!"

[padawansuggest]

Mace: *holding Padawan Kenobi by the collar of his robes and coming into the mess hall* Attention everyone! Someone else needs to take custody of this child before I throw him off the highest tower!

Mess Hall: *quietly, contemplating who’s gonna speak up and risk ending up with custody of the feral one*

Victim 1: *raises hand* Um, where are his usual guardians?

Mace: *batting away Obi-Wan’s lil gremlin hands and squeezing his neck like a scruff* Master Yoda is claiming he has a contagious infection and Master Jinn is passed out in the healing halls with a broken nose that had to be healed with a minor surgery.

Victim 2: Oh? Why do you want to get rid of him anyways? I thought Kenobi was a sweetheart?

Mace: He is giving me constant shatter point migraines. This started when he was about three years old and has persisted since the day I met him.

Victim 2: Fair. Consider? Giving him to whoever broke Master Jinn’s nose??

Mace: Great idea, not an option, he was a flamboyant pirate named Ohnaka who give Obi-Wan spice laced candy.

Obi-Wan: I CAN SEE THE FATE OF THE UNIVERSE AND IT IS HUNGRY AND SO AM I

Mace: I am afraid of him. Someone please take this child.

Quinlan: idk bruh force agrees with the kid???? Maybe he’s on that good shit?

Mace: You. I’ve decided he’s yours now for that horrible sentence and agreeing with the hungry void. Take this child and never speak to me again. He bites and sometimes licks. Be careful and don’t point at him. *bodily drops the 16yo into the lap of a 19yo Quinlan*

Quinlan: *immediately petting through Obi-Wan’s hair till he’s purring and pushing into Quinlan’s hands* Was Master Windu being mean to you, Obes?

Obi-Wan: *deep purrs and happy noises* He wouldn’t let me go back to the pirates.

Quinlan: lol, why do you wanna go back to Ohnaka?

Obi-Wan: Made a friend. He was a Mandalorian. Hondo’s gonna ransom him back to his dad-leader. I wanna hang out with him more.

Quinlan: lol that sounds like way more fun than what I had planned. Let’s go steal a ship. *pulls Obi-Wan up and let’s him out of the mess hall*

Victim 2: …should we be letting him do that?

Victim 1: You’re from a side temple, so you wouldn’t get it, but if Windu is leaving Kenobi with Vos, he’s giving them free reign for chaos, he just doesn’t wanna be the one to babysit Kenobi while he follows his fucked up side quests.

Someone Smart Enough To Stay Out Of That Mess: They’ll be back in a week with three new strays.

[moonst0ne07]

I love how yoda goes from super powerful jedi grandmaster in the prequels to feral old man in a swamp in the original trilogy. That's what I wanna do when I'm old just be a little elderly gremlin guy causing problems and occasionally being wise.

[vodika-vibes]

Could you imagine Fox as a dad now?? 👀 How’d he be?

The love of my life as a dad? Let's see~

Fox is an amazing dad. I believe this to the bottom of my heart.

Him and Spouse (am I taking the chance to roll my PA AU into this, yes. Yes, I am) have 6 children. 3 biological, 3 adopted.

The bio kids are fraternal, boy/girl twins. And then they adopted a little miralukan boy from Coruscant, then a pair of twin cadets from Kamino, and the youngest hasn't been born yet.

Fox goes out of his way to make sure that his kids are happy in every way. Though he was a little annoyed when the Jedi tried to claim his miralukan son as theirs.

Guard kids are a little... weird. Just a little bit. They have innate gremlin tendencies, even the adopted ones, and Fox encourages this in them.

There is always a gaggle of guard children hanging around Fox. He's the person they go to when they want attention or help planning a prank or help getting revenge on a jedi who got them into trouble.

Fox's home is often home to several dozen children, and while he doesn't always remember all of their names, he's still very loved.

Guard kids don't go to the Jedi Creche. They're a bad influence on the Jedi kids... and on Master Yoda. So there's a Clone Creche in the old Corrie Barracks.

This Guard Creche is where the Guard kids learn things that the other Clone kids don't. (The Guard encorage them to become more feral).

[thewriterowl]

The reason why Grogu doesn't have shoes is because Master Yoda didn't like wearing socks, shoes, boots or anything. Nothing about alien biology, it's just Yoda was being a stubborn shit. Fast forward and Grogu is *about* to get shoes when the 501st and Anakin think it's fun to unalive people. Still no shoes for Grogu. Luke tries to ask Master Yoda if Grogu needs any feet protection (because he can't stand being drenched by yet another bubble bath because Grogu loved muddy puddles) and Yoda is giving Luke hell, talking in riddles, avoiding the topic entirely because he believes this means he'll have to give out foot measurements "Touch my toes, you will not!" (try as Obi Wan and Anakin do, they can't wrestle the gremlin and help Luke) QUE to Luke going back to his Tatooine roots and making Grogu a pair of (somewhat) comfortable shoes out of the same material Beru used for him, humming to himself and proud of the three clawed footed attire..........Din saw all of this and that's why Luke is in the delivery room 9 months later.

Luke just existing would get himself pregnant. Din 100% has a Luke-kink and is feral over him. Him doing such sweet, parental things for Grogu like taking the time to make him shoes for his little feet would turn Din into a hormonal monster.

That kitchen counter at Din's new home is SO used to destroy Luke. And yeah, whoops, nine months later and Luke is just glaring at a very pleased Din as they are int he delivery room.

[ao3feed-harleyquinn]

Bite me beast!

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/8G4zwdt by DeFuhrerPlatypus A collaboration of five verses in one. On an ol' Hollows night, for a golden treat. Five figures of strength are here, so go and take a seat. A bountyhunter with his child. An angsty robot teen that's very wild. A murderous Rabbit-Clown that will hunt at thee, and a hero who controls gravity. Then the princess of crime. Ready for another joke, maybe she will find more this time. All who band together to find a golden reward. Read, so you can see what is in store Words: 4189, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: The Mandalorian (TV), Harley Quinn (Comics), Murder Drones (Web Series), 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: M/M Characters: Din Djarin, Harleen Quinzel, Uzi Doorman, Uraraka Ochako Additional Tags: Inspired by Real Events, Halloween, Fun, Collaboration, Gremlin Uzi Doorman, Feral Uzi Doorman, Uraraka Ochako is a Good Friend, Din Djarin and Grogu | Baby Yoda as a Clan of Two, Action/Adventure, Developing Friendships, Teamwork, Pirates, Dinosaurs read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/8G4zwdt

[pickleandthequeen]

Feral gremlin Yoda is best Yoda

[onlymollygibson]

omg you have Yoda the chaos gremlin/literal swamp thing raises Yan literal nobility Dooku, who raises Qui Gon the hippie Jinn, who raises Obi Wan I run on adrenaline, anxiety and fine whisky Kenobi, who raises Anakin Eats bugs and likes it Skywalker, who raised Ahsoka feral child Tano. Holy freaking crap. And you'd better believe Padme joins the support group

any fix it fic HAS to include dooku and obi-wan bonding over being the only people in their lineage who aren't literal rat people

[catawampuscorner]

Do Count Dooku, Yoda, and Quigon Jinn ever try to dress Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Ahsoka in different onsies? Do the former three enforce naptime?

I feel like Count Dooku is the only one of the three with any sartorial sense or respect for the concept of naptime. Yoda and Qui-Gon are more freewheeling, "wear what you want and sleep when you're tired" types. It drives Dooku absolutely nuts.

[himboskywalker]

Had one of my absolute favorite customer interactions of all time today. A little boy,probably 8 or 9 swaggers up to the register with his mom in tow and a whole armful of Star Wars books and he slaps them down at the register proudly. Already I’m delighted by the energy and I ask what I always ask kids with lots of Star Wars books, “oh you don’t like Star Wars do you?” And he looks up at me immediately indigent like you fool,you peasant mortal who knows nothing,absolutely ready to square up. But then he breaks out in a delighted grin when he sees my Clone Wars Arc Trooper shirt and lightsaber earrings and goes, “oh you like Star Wars too!! Did you SEE?!?!DID YOU SEE?!?!” And I said, “oh yeah I saw,I barely slept last night I was so excited. Which one are you most excited for,who’s your favorite character?” And he puffs up like a little chinchilla and just says,barely restrained, “baby yoda but his name isn’t actually baby yoda but mom says I’m not allowed to say his real name to people. But I can’t wait for more rebels! I hate Darth Vader but at least he died.” He nods proudly to himself like yes,I am eight I understand what vindication is and then blinks up at me and goes, “ who’s yours?” And I look back at this kid like 👁👄👁

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

I just have to say, the music underscoring bebe Yoda staring at the eggs felt so joyous that I honestly felt like him eating the eggs wasn't just about eating the eggs.

Maybe that's me looking into music too much, but the way it felt hopeful and sweet...the way the eggs drifted towards his hand...I'm honestly not sure if it's all about the snackies?

yeah, he eats Frog Lady's eggs but I can't help but feel like there's going to be more to it than him eating something he shouldn't. Maybe something will happen to the container the other eggs are in, maybe he'll, like, regurgitate the eggs he ate and they'll be safe? Maybe they will take some of his DNA and become lil yodito clones? Maybe they will be little force-babies like Anakin? I mean we've already had a few subtle clone-nods so it wouldn't be out of the question

And just the first meeting between Baby and the eggs. I totally read that less as home going "oh FOOD" and him going more "oh FRIEND"

Not to mention he just saw his dad get eaten by something and come out okay, so its possible he's got some weird ideas about how fatal getting swallowed is

[bookgeekgrrl]

R2-D2 is precisely the sort of chaos agent who would help a toddler run away from school by stealing his teacher’s spaceship.

Was gonna say something about R2 casually dropping a baby off in a war zone, but honestly it’s on brand

[twilightofthe]

Ok so I’m in a relatively feral mood and I’ve discussed this w/ some people on discord before but now y’all get to hear it. So here’s my list on who on the Jedi Council I think would bite someone.

No listen. Sometimes when there is conflict and you can no longer use logic, all that can be done is to chomp onto someone and try to draw blood. You deserve it. The person being bitten likely deserves it. I’m picking the Council for this list because most people assume they’re too high up and classy to do that, but I say no, let the Council Masters bite their enemies too. They deserve to go feral sometimes.

Now note, this is not a kinky/romantic thing. If you want to know who has a biting kink, this is not the right list. This list is purely to bestow pain upon some unfortunate motherfucker who deserves it. Okay so:

1. YODA: Look, Yoda is by FAR the most likely of the Council members to bite someone. He’s already got those feral vibes we can see barely hidden that emerge into full Swamp Gremlin by the time Luke rolls around. But Yoda’s a troll. He’ll whap you with his stick. He’ll do backflips around you to trip you up and make you fall on your face. He will cause Chaos if he feels it’s the right thing to do and he’ll have a blast doing it. Yoda is ABSOLUTELY the kind where if you get too close in a fight, suddenly his old man teeth are sinking into your arm and not letting go and now you’re running around screaming and waving your arm and he’s just hanging on and it looks like you have a puppet stuck to your arm. Yoda bites

2. SHAAK TI: Aight so Togruta are a predatory species. They would have fangs. Shaak has fangs, Lucasfilms is just too much of a coward to show me those fangs. But yeah, Shaak has fangs and a biological instinct to use them to defend herself. She tries not to start fights best she can of course, but if things are getting down to it and she doesn’t have her saber, you bet your ass you’re getting a chomp from VERY sharp teeth and it Will Not Be Fun. Yeah you’ll wanna watch it around her. Shaak bites

3. PLO KOON: Now THIS is an interesting one because Plo obviously has a mask over his mouth he needs for breathing. However his personality is also very much on the feral side sometimes, in a kind of “give no shits” sorta way. Also going off of his clones? Yeah it’s not just because of his name but I will say that Wolffe is very ironic because out of all the clones, I definitely think he’d be one of the first to bite someone, as would the rest of the Wolfpack. So yes, Plo would want to bite someone. The fact that his mask actively prevents him from doing so? Only INCREASES the urge to want to bite, to the point where if there’s EVER a situation where he can fight without the mask, there’s like a 75% chance he’d go STRAIGHT for the chomp. No doubt about it. Plo bites.

4. OPPO RANCISIS: Honestly idk why y’all, but Oppo gives me bitey vibes. Maybe because he’s part snake? Or the fact that his mouth is hidden by beard? Not sure, but I’m just imagining him being like, the secret biter, like you would NOT expect him to bite in a fight, and yet you’re fighting and suddenly the beard that is hiding VERY sharp teeth is around your arm and latching on and NOT letting go and it’s mildly frightening and Oppo is giving exactly zero shits about it, like, he’d be calm too. Oppo absolutely bites, trust me.

5. OBI WAN KENOBI: So Obi Wan is not a biter by nature (remember that I am NOT talking about kink here no one @ me), he wouldn’t choose that as a method on his own I don’t think. However, this man has been surrounded by Qui Gon “has a bitey personality cuz he’s a troll and also learned from Dooku who developed a vicious reflex from being trained by Yoda” Jinn, Anakin “has anger issues and on Tatooine you are legally allowed and expected to bite someone who gets in your space for more than five seconds” Skywalker, Ahsoka “the instinctual Togruta who’s also just got a bitey personality” Tano, and countless other people who would Not Hesitate. Obi Wan now has biting as a reflexive survival instinct, he’s not afraid to fight dirty and if that means biting someone, well sucks for you bub. Obi Wan bites.

[writer-room]

Return of the Tired Vader AU: Luke insists that he’s supposed to find Master Yoda and Ahsoka kindly puts her hand on his shoulder, looks him in the eye, and in the sweetest voice, tells him “absolutely fucking not” but Obi-Wan astral projected into Luke’s mind from like 7 planets over (I refuse to let that sad bastard die) like 20 times until he gave up and went to the swamp. Luke still crashes and whatnot but Ahsoka high-tails it after him because she is NOT letting him get within 100 miles of that frog unsupervised. 

Luke still has no idea the frog man is Yoda until Ahsoka pops up out of nowhere and Yoda takes 1 look at her and goes “offer to rejoin the jedi, it stands” because there’s like 5 force users left in the entire galaxy he needs new members to his club. Luke was the only thing stopping Ahsoka from going absolutely feral on the wrinkly gremlin.

[blueflyingturtleontheway]

star wars

Quick heads-up that I haven't seen much of the SW stuff except for the original trilogy and the prequels, and I didn't interact much with the fandom, so like, hold your pitchforks.

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

Obi wan! The man the myth the legend.

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

Chewbacca. He's perfect in every way and I'd die for him.

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

Not one character but I love all the little

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

The Ewoks! They're my favourite race since ever.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

Yoda did nothing wrong in his life ever, he's just a feral little gremlin 😌 war crimes who

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

Hmmm Obi wan. Hurting this man is fun.

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

C-3PO. I just. He activated my fight or flight response. I want to yeet him directly into the space vacuum.

Thank you for this ask! I have to admit it was fun to get back to this franchise.

[barissoffee]

I’ll admit I kind of want to see the Rexwalker betting pool. Is it just the 501st? Is the 212th in on it? Is the entire GAR in on it? Do the Jedi know their Feral Gremlin Child has a crush and take part in the fun? Does it become a meme? Do they start dropping hints so they can figure each other out because Rex balances Anakin (somewhat) and they just want him to be happy? The possibilities...

the endless possibilities...I like to think that it started separately with Ahsoka and Padme had a bet about Anakin confessing first and then Fives,Echo, Jesse, Kix and the others had a bet about Rex and then one day Ahsoka is walking through the messhall and rolling her eyes at Anakin and Rex being close again but what catches her attention is Echo and Fives pointing at them and whispering to each other and sliding credits along the table to Jesse, and Ahsoka just KNOWS that they have a bet as well and slides next to Echo, which has all the clones freezing in their seats, and Ahsoka just throws her own credits on the table and says ��I want it in” and now all of them are gossiping at the table saying “Did you see them on the last planet?””I KNOW I thought they were gonna kiss for real” and Ahsoka tells them she has her own bet with Senator Amidala as well which has all of them choking on air cause some of them thought that Anakin and Padme were together, which they’re not, and in the end they just make one huge bet and bring Padme in on it and now the entire 501st are just watching Rex and Anakin like hawks seeing who will confess first and one day Ahsoka casually mentions it to Barriss who tells Luminara who then tells the council so now they all know about it and Yoda already had credits on it with Padme which has the rest of the council spluttering in their seats and jokes on them but Obi-Wan also had credits on it when Ahsoka mentioned it to him on the last 501st/212th mission and then of course Obi-Wan mentioned it to Cody who then told Waxer and Boil and pretty much spread throughout the 212th by the end of the day and by the end of the week most of the jedi temple and half of the battalions know about the bet and the rules are they can’t have any input or meddling with Rex or Anakin, Padme was very serious about the rules and no one dares to cross her, but of course Ahsoka thinks the rules don’t apply to her and sometimes locks Rex and Anakin in supply closests, trip Rex so he lands in Anakin’s arms or use the force to spill hot caf all over Anakins robes so he has to take them off and Rex and Anakin somehow have NO IDEA that this entire bet is going on and get confused when everyone smirks at them when they walk together or why the council keeps putting Rex and Anakin on missions alone and the bet gets so big that they forget who started it or what the bet actually was cause everyone is just tired of Rex and Anakin pinning after each other and being so clueless about it and the bet keeps going on and on for months until Anakin or Rex confesses first bonus if they confess at the same time so only Padme wins cause that what she bet on or extra bonus if Rex and Anakin have been together the entire time but are just really good at hiding it