#fenriel
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Howl
This is the moment that Azriel and Fenrys fall in love with each other. Well, maybe not the moment, but the realization.
*****
Mor sighed obnoxiously as she collapsed in her seat. “Did somebody curse me or something? What the fuck is going on?”
Fenry popped an olive into his mouth, grinning. “Tough break?”
“Gah. I’m practically being ignored.” Mor groaned, dropping her head onto the table.
“Oh dear, Fen, what have you done to Mor?” Cassian asked as he slid into the seat beside Mor.
Azriel took the seat across from him and beside Fenrys, passing out the new round of drinks he’d collected.
“Apparently, everyone’s too busy staring at my beautiful face to look at hers.” Fenrys sighed piteously.
“I even tried flirting!” Mor cried. “Do you know how bad I am at flirting?”
Cassian rolled his eyes. “It’s not that hard.”
“Really? I doubt you even know how to— girls just throw themselves at you.”
“Of course I know how. Watch and learn.”’ Cassian slid closer to her and wrapped a lock of her golden hair around his fingers. His voice lowered. “You busy tonight, princess?”
Mor burst into laughter while Azriel snorted loudly. He was drunk, Fenrys could tell. There was a slight flush to his cheeks, and he’d swayed a bit when he set down their drinks.
“Got something to add, shadowsinger?” Cassian crooned.
“There’s no way that would work.” Azriel sat back, gesturing to Mor. “Look at her. She’s not even blushing.”
“Like you could do any better.”
“Watch and learn, brother,” Azriel purred before turning to Fenrys.
He put a hand on Fenrys’ thigh, dangerously high, and leaned in, brushing a lock of hair behind his ear so he could whisper, “Leave your door unlocked.”
All thoughts flew from Fenrys’ head as he blanched, cheeks aflame. He’d never… Nobody had ever…
Azriel chuckled softly as he withdrew, throwing Cassian a smug look. “That’s how it’s done.”
Fenrys’ tried to control his face and failed, epically.
Across from him, Mor laughed. “Oh, Azzy! I think you broke him. He’s blushing like a virgin.”
Fenrys put his elbows on the table so he could bury his head in his hands, mortified by his own reaction. Az was just joking, for gods’ sake.
Azriel patted his shoulder, which wasn’t very comforting at all. “That’s how you know it worked,” he told Mor and Cassian.
“Don’t tease the poor guy like that. Look. He’s about to have a conniption.” Cassian pushed Fenrys’ drink into his line of sight, which he greedily accepted.
Azriel slung an arm over the back of Fenrys’ chair as conversation moved on.
Cassian jerked his chin to the bar. “Why don’t you show us in the field, Az? For all we know, Fenny could just have a crush on you.”
Azriel chuckled again as Fenrys choked on his drink. He tilted his head, eyeing the brunette Cassian had indicated. Fenrys’ gaze was drawn to the hard line of his jaw as Azriel leaned closer. The movement pushed his side into Fenrys’ shoulder, warming him. “Not my type.”
“Right,” Mor purred. “You’ve got a thing for blonds. Two seats down, in the black dress.”
“I do not have a thing for blonds. Also, she came in with someone.”
Cassian elbowed Mor, wiggling his brows. “He’s been watching her, then.”
“I’ve been watching everybody.” Azriel’s fingers danced absently over Fenrys’ shoulder. “Or have you forgotten my job description?”
“Oh, come on, Az. Indulge us.” Mor propped her elbows on the table, pouting. “We all know you haven’t taken anyone home in months. That is, unless someone is waiting for you there…”
“Stop digging, Mor,” said Azriel, his voice lowering a fraction.
“Ha!” Mor slammed her hand on the table. “I knew it! Fen, you owe me ten marks.”
Azriel looked offended. “Fenrys, you’ve joined in their shenanigans?”
Fenrys sheepishly handed over the money. “You never talk about your lovers, and if you’re getting all pissy over the mention of one, that means…”
“I don’t have one.”
Fenrys snatched his coins back from Mor. “Pay up. Both of you. I told you I could get him to admit it.”
“Goddamnit.” Cassian dug around in his pockets.
Azriel sighed. “Why are you all so invested in my love life?”
“Because it’s so damned boring,” Mor groused. “How long has it been since you got laid, huh? With how bitchy you’ve been, I suspect a month at least.”
“I thought he was normally like this,” Fenrys said around a grin. “There’s some other state beyond absolute grouch?”
“There's a slightly more tolerable grouch.” Cassian sipped his drink.
Azriel rolled his eyes.
Fenrys, who relished any reaction whatsoever from the shadowsinger, couldn’t help but feel a glimmer of triumph.
Triumph, and something else.
*****
Conversation moved on. Azriel was only half-paying attention. He blamed it on the alcohol, but the real culprit may have been Fenrys, laughing at his side. He looked more handsome when he was happy, Azriel thought.
They left an hour later. They still had to train tonight, Azriel had reminded Fenrys when he grumbled about leaving.
As they flew, Fenrys pointed to the mountain peak. “Can we go there?” he shouted over the wind.
Azriel glanced at him, but shrugged. A new terrain wouldn’t hurt. A few minutes later, they landed on the very tip of the mountain.
Fenrys grinned, looking out over the city.
“Why here?” Azriel asked from a few paces away.
“I don’t know.” Fenrys went to the very edge. “Do you ever just want to scream?”
“What?” Azriel came to his side, close enough to grab him if he tumbled.
“Like, just… let it out, you know? Just scream.” Fenrys gazed out at the city. “I guess you’ve never had a desire to be loud. It would be against your dark and mysterious nature.”
Azriel snorted. He had the desire to be loud, to scream and cry and rage, but those were emotions better suited to a saner man. He wasn’t sure if he started yelling that he’d be able to stop.
Fenrys blinked at him. “I don’t think you really get it. Shall I demonstrate?”
Azriel waved a hand. “Go ahead.”
Fenrys tipped his chin to the sky, drew in a deep breath, and roared.
The sound was instantly swallowed up by the wind, torn from Fenrys’ throat. It didn’t sound like anguish or rage or any good reason to be roaring. It was just… sound for the sake of sound.
The last notes vanished as quickly as they appeared. Fenrys turned to Azriel, his cheeks flushed with more than the alcohol. “See?”
“Does that make you feel better?” Azriel asked, honestly curious.
“More than you’d expect. Try it.”
Azriel shook his head. “I think I’m good.”
“Come on.” Fenrys poked him in the ribs. “It’s not going to hurt anything.”
“There’s no point.”
“And does everything you do have to have a purpose? What kind of life is that?”
Azriel crossed his arms over his chest and said pathetically, “Ahhhh.”
Fenrys laughed. “Gods. That’s going to live forever in my mind. Not like that. Like… like a howl.”
“Not everyone is half wolf,” Azriel reminded him.
“Hey, the wolves got this one right. I promise.” Just to show off, Fenrys tilted his face back to the moon and howl, low and loud. This one was different: the haunting bay of an animal rather than the pure emotion of a man.
Azriel couldn’t help but be transfixed.
Fenrys’ eyes opened, as dark and depthless as the earth itself. “What?” he asked.
Azriel shook his head. “Fine.”
Fenrys waited.
Rolling his eyes, Azriel tried not to feel a little shy. He hesitated, then turned away from Fenrys, hands fisted at his side. He didn’t close his eyes like Fenrys and let out a shout like thunder.
The shadows went wild, leaping and quivering, almost as if they were surprised. They licked into the air, devouring the sound almost as quickly as the wind did.
Azriel opened his eyes wide, a hand going to his throat, where the shout had died. And it… it felt good. He felt almost… lighter? That wasn’t the right word. Some things can’t be described by words.
Fenrys chuckled. “How was it?”
“It…” Azriel’s gaze slid to Fenrys’ mouth without his permission. He wanted to consume that grin and all the noice that came from it. Wanted to eat Fenrys alive. “It’s cathartic.”
“It is.” Fenrys sat down on the very edge of the mountain, feet dangling, completely unaware of where Azriel’s thoughts had turned. It was a long few moments before Azriel sat beside him.
“How often do you do this?”
Fenrys tilted his head. “Not as often as I’d like to. It’s hard to find places where you can just scream.”
Azriel’s wings splayed out behind him, curling protectively around Fenrys’ shoulders. The lights of Velaris were a night sky themselves, as breath taking as the first time he’d seen them.
Fenrys leaned against Azriel’s shoulder and yawned. “Do we really have to train today?”
“No,” Azriel said quietly. For his mind was still catching up, still trying to explain the haunting image that had scorched the inside of his brain:
A boy, eyes closed, head back, howling to a moon that was not his own.
#fenrys moonbeam#acotar#sarah j maas#a court of thorns and roses#azriel#sjm#acotar fanfiction#acomaf#acowar#acofas#throne of glass fanfiction#throne of glass#throne of glass fanfic#fenriel#my fanfiction#acotar tog crossover#empire of storms
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I've been writing lately as we know, and i'm watching the show Tokyo Swindlers. And like it's pretty graphic on the sex and violence and blood. But like honestly, it's not that bad? And the bad guy is also not that bad? And my good guys are worse than this bad guy?
Like i'm not making it a competition nor am I trying to be like those extreme horror authors or such. I really am just writing for my own enjoyment but i'm realizing a lot about myself as I go. And also a lot about other forms of media.
My mother recently wrote a short story that got second place in a competition. It was about a girl wanting to be valedictorian, there was only one more person in front of her. She suspected that this person was cheating. So she killed her. Turns out she wasn't cheating.
But i thought it funny that her (my mom's) friend's were like woah, I didn't know you wrote like that. And i'm just like... I know. I know she can write like that. I know she knows.
I know we each have it in us. Perhaps we each delight in such things.
Just some thoughts.
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my process is so fuckin ugly and this is still just really early sketchy crap and I’m wayyyy out of my comfort zone BUT THATS NOT GONNA STOP ME FROM GOING FERAL BECAUSE I LOVE MY LITTLE TRIO TOGETHER SO FUCKING MUCH FUCKINGGGGGG SHITFKFJHGKJGJH ATREYU IS JUST A LITTLE GUY. THE GOODEST BOY. THEY ALL LOVE EACH OTHER HELP ME
#fenriel is done with whatever ozadius is trying to say fjkdhkdjh atreyu is just like oh I love them#both#he’s so. cute I’m gonna puke#fijhfkjjfh#he doesn’t deserve to be fucked over by me but I don’t make the rules#THEY HAVE SUCH A FUNKY DYNAMIC CAUSE ATREYUS JUST A LITTLE GUY BUT HE LIKE RAISED OZADIUS WHO IS GETTING OLD BRO BUT ATREYU DOESNT CHANGE#eternal mom friend energy fijbfkjfhkjfnkjfh#also atreyu and fenriel look good together what a wild couple pfffffffffffkfkjfhf#ki wips#ki ocs#Fenriel
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Doodles of Fenriel and Ruhan, drawn while watching a movie with my housemates :) they're Sindryl! My species - strange tall deer-snake-fox-bird-things :)
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Random notes:
I'm so much better at reading nonfiction books quickly, I can get through one in 1 hour to 3 days depending on its length and time I have. I'm going to guess it's a hold over from studying engineering and just Needing to be able to cram through nonfiction informational stuff. I've got like 12 fiction books im juggling right now and like that many fanfics I'm reading (I know ;-;) but the nonfiction book I got about someone's written experiences? One day reading and I'm 60% through.
The exception to that is grammar books and character Kanji and Hanzi books, since they're like reading dictionaries and I really just do have to go one entry at a time so 20 pages takes about 1 hour for those.
I need to be nicer to myself about writing. ;-; i just checked out 4 fiction books on how they opened, and every single one of them at minimum gave a 3 sentence paragraph on setting exposition as the first intro to the story
(Murakami's Hard Boiled Wonderland starts with an elevator description, which I feel parallels Alice falling down the rabbit hole well and so it's a good both setting introduction and unsaid things intro, Little Favors opens on an airport and fuerdai rich and gives a sense of location and sphere of main characters, Tale of Genji starts with an explanation of royal family important background... which I could copy but I feel a modern audience would judge it exposition-heavy, Dealing With Dragons starts with a quick "This land is like this" setting intro then diving into main character pov - which is honestly a structure I try to do a lot, Guardian jumps right into action with Guo Changcheng out at 2 am then after that delving into his background a little for exposition and his actions that night at the SID as setting exposition - immediately into the character which I prefer though it still touches on it being night in a city before switching to Guo, Can Ci Pin starts less obviously with location description with someone talking - but they're talking about history as a tour guide which is a smooth way to immediate give exposition of the sci fi setting to both reader and the little boy character asking questions... I may have to steal this one, and Kaleidescope of Death opens with a short few sentences on location and then uses a main character and their pov of the woman they're with - which is probably closest to my ideal for writing style). Basically just like... seems like most stories start on at least a little setting explanation of where the story is and even maybe it's world-rules if needed before diving into characters saying things/doing things. I think I'm a little too harsh on myself thinking I could just smoothly skip that part, I think I'm going to unfairly judge that intro part of my writing no matter what I do.
I really liked my Freyna Fenriel story intro. Wish I could be possessed by that energy again lol.
Another ball. A new Highest, again. This is the third one in as many months. Freyna takes another gulp of champagne and makes her way outside to the balcony.
She doesn't care what this Highest looks like. He'll be dead in another month, most likely. Her only reason to be in the capital right now, to make sure he gets the impression her family could care less if he's Highest after the previous one. That the Fenriels will be perfectly loyal - as loyal as anyone living in the countryside can be. It's not as if her family's business has much to do with the bloodbaths of the capital.
The night is cool, the breeze carrying the crisp smell of snow coming. The frail pink blossoms of the vines lining the balcony will shrivel and die from frost soon enough.
Then I look at how I opened on some fanfiction and I'm like. Yeah. I could be doing significantly messier and still someone would enjoy reading it, I enjoyed reading it, I need to be less harsh on myself.
Jim had a plan. So it might not be a perfectly outlined list of steps to take and backup actions if the first steps failed to achieve the desired result. But he wasn’t Spock. Generally an idea carried out with intuitive choices seemed to serve Jim well enough, especially the more emotional and less logical the circumstances. So, maybe, Jim Kirk wasn’t exactly the most skilled perfectionist when it came to relationships, maybe he had sort of an extremely flawed track record. Whatever.
Spock decides to embrace the plan. “Another shot, please.” He downs it, immediately requests yet another. The human on the other side of the counter doesn’t bother putting the bottle away this time, Spock’s already made them run back and forth five times in succession. “You want me to just leave the bottle?” Spock gives a small nod. “That would be appreciated.”
Nie Huaisang used to hang around Meng Yao a lot, before. Nearly everywhere Nie Huaisang would be, Meng Yao would either trail after him by a few minutes, or else have already arrived - with the younger Nie brother eventually catching up, once he needed something. Meng Yao helped without complaint, always with that polite smile of his. It always seemed skin deep. But Nie Huaisang either didn’t notice, or didn’t care. Then everything happened. So much happened.
In another world, another life, another version of events, things could have been different. Lan Xichen is lost in those trails. They lead nowhere. Because they aren’t real. They aren’t what happened. They could have been. He isn’t sure if he wishes they were. He isn’t sure, at this point, if he’d rather have them instead. Instead of this.
The leaves rustle outside of the carriage, shifting with the wind. Between the slivers of green, patches of sunlight manage to reach down to the path below, to the carriage and it's windows. He can feel the light warmth of it on his skin, where he sits close enough for it to reach.
#rant#writing#mejo writing#i can see the haruki murakami influence when i start a fucking story like a thought thread#just absolutely right into someone mental thought process in a journey#it almost reads like a journal of the character. it reminds me of murakami just going into an internal charactef pov tangent#then other times i just open normally. which seems like again the above approach of describe setting and open on character#like Guardian and Kaleidescope of Death#i prefer a faster intro. but clearly any intro of any exposition level is fairly normal
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I can't believe that in the absurd amount of time I was thinking about him this is the first time I've drawn him: ladies and gentlemen of the court - His Worship Fenriel Lavellan, Saviour of Thedas, Herald of Andraste and a total disaster of an elf. (Also, this photo has abysmal quality)
Paper, pencil, the works.
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Stares. Head tilt.
"You seem like an anime character. You know one of those isekai protagonists with an odd name...ooh, how about Fenriel?"
She's just vibing and having fun.
They only turn to look at the woman a second after she had asked about what they thought of that name.
Fenriel. A nice name.
"If that is what you want to call me, then you're free to. I generally accept any names that aren't insulting."
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Ask me about my OCc's.
Ask me about Naya Trevelyan and Fenriel Lavellan. Ask me about Dr. Neva Karel. About Kimbra Blackmyre (under construction). About Nolly, about Meggy. About Alderose Burke. About Roslin Graceford. About Orsolya. About Greer Koemann and Lorcan Toll-Bellingham.
Ask me about them. I dare you. I double dare you.
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LOOK AT THEM 😭😭😭
Thank you so much to the lovely @forystr for letting me commission this wonderful piece of Fen’riel and Dorian 🥺 I adore this! Thank you again fraizer I love it so so much. Go and commission him if you can!
#dragon age inquisition#oc: fenriel#dorian my beloved#dorian pavus#fenriel x dorian#art#my commissions#forstyr
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Freyna Fenriel. On sketch paper, turned out significantly better than first attempt. Softer brush helped, saturated color then moving it helped. Less layers. Pencil for lines, white gel pen for white highlights. This turned out the best so far so I'm going to try and replicate this quality level a bit more til I get the hang of it.
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i mean... i'd hit it. ¯\_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯
Send “I would tap that!” If Your Muse would straight up have sex with mine. Doesn’t matter if the Muses are in a Relationship or not. My Muse will give their reaction to hearing this..
Kaaras stopped in his tracks as he heard the elf proclaim such a thing. He’d hit the Inquisitor. If Kaaras hadn’t heard what had previously been said, he may have taken it as something less sexual, but he wasn’t that stupid (at least not that oblivious today). He wasn’t exactly the smartest man in Thedas.
He stiffened slightly, and when he caught eye contact with the elf, he felt his cheeks heat up, and he quickly averted his eyes. Oh, Maker’s arse! Now Fenriel knew he heard him, and now it was going to be incredibly awkward the whole damn time!
Clearing his throat, he acted as if he’d not heard anything, even though it was obvious he did, and he started walking again. He’d just... try and lock that in the vault, if that were even possible.
#IC#Kaaras Adaar#asks#reply#meme response#Fenriel#Kaaras x Fenriel#(( rofl he's so awkward don't mind him XD ))#tanadhal
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Fenrys x Azriel Masterlist
So, for context, in all of these headcannons, Fenrys accidentally fell into Velaris while working for Maeve (pre-Aelin) and while Rhys was still under the mountain. He doesn't speak the language, so Mor uses her magic as kind of an automatic translator that doesn't work on writing or music.
*These are not in order. Some of them may also occur after Fenrys leaves Velaris and finds his way back fifty years later*
Read more on Ao3
Migraine
Fenrys knows something's wrong, and he's not about to let Azriel suffer without help.
Better?
Fenrys Moonbeam was accidentally teleported to Velaris fifty years ago. Finally, he has the chance to return, with his lover in tow, only Velaris has a few more characters than he remembers.
Speak my language
Fenrys explores the restraints of the magic Mor uses to translate everything for him in Velaris.
Howl
This is the moment that Azriel and Fenrys fall in love with each other. Well, maybe not the moment, but the realization.
Woof
They're falling for each other. They both know it. There's no going back now. On the evening of Fenrys' birthday in Prythian, Azriel takes him out to a secret spot.
*****
Extras:
Moodboard
Thoughts
#acotar#acotar fanfiction#sarah j maas#acomaf#acowar#acofas#a court of thorns and roses#my fanfiction#throne of glass#throne of glass fanfiction#throne of glass fenrys#fenrys moonbeam#fenriel#fenrys x azriel#azriel#crack ship
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You know, instead of denying my feelings for horrible things and feeling horrible about it- im letting them flow through me and feeling them and consuming them and enjoying them. Literally all my fears are gone, im less upset by things and more like, these people are lame lets kill them in delicious ways! Which makes me feel like.... really good? I used to be afraid of my own body until i started thinking about it in a gore way. Now all my surgeries and eventual treatment don't frighten me. Like what they gonna do? cut me open? i'll feel pain? cool! neat! what a fascinating human experience! How can I feel so good? How does this feel so good, im bursting with energy and passion. How have I thought this is evil and bad? When i feel such love and passion for drama, for pain, for sex? I do feel like this is a hard swing of healing from trauma. And probably i will swing back into the middle. I have always been this way. I was made this way, in the fires of my mother's belly. I want to feel passion baby!!!! GIVE IT TO ME LET IT COURSE THROUGH MY VEINS!! PASSION AND LOVE HOWEVER IT COMES TO ME!! HOWEVER IT BE!!
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Speaking of curses and my obsessing over my characters pfkjfhkjfhfkjhf Fenriel has this whole thing where his people think he is cursed because of a mark on his face or whatever dumb shit and the good main characters are like. You’re NOT CURSED. chill. that’s absurd. and he’s been getting over it. like the idea is completely brushed off as ridiculous. But I’ve been toying lately with the idea of . Plot twist. He actually is . PFKJFNF
#I’m not sure in what way but it would be fucking funny because the narrative has been so against it as being anything at all#even an antagonist character thinks it’s stupid and is just fucking with him pfklfjklfj#I’m mostly thinking not though because it would ruin the contrasting parallels with him and Atreyu#but it could be a subtle thing in a different way I’m not sure#or maybe not a curse?? but it’s Something#ki rambling#ki writing#ki ocs#Fenriel
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Sooo I guess I just came around to upload my Inktoper pieces from last year, hooray! :’)
I saw @crispych0colates inctober schedule and liked what I saw, so I asked if it was okay if I worked with the same schedule. These were Dragon Age themed, however some of these pictures will include OCs and AUs of hers and I think a single one with my Inquisitor.
Sketched beforehand and then lined with Copic Multiliners on letter sized paper.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
#dragon age#inktober#dragon#age#da#dragon age 2#dragon age ii#dragon age inquisition#da:i#cyriel lavellan#cyriel ahwke#cyriel#lavellan#hawke#fenriel lavellan#fenriel#corypheus#darkspawn#flemeth#asha'bellanar#witch#meredith#knight commander#knight#commander#templar#orsino#first enchanter#first#enchanter
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More ocs o3o)/
#art#oc#ocs#tbf#this is the sycay family and fenriel family#and sycay family im fairly happy has enough family resemblance#meanwhile youngest Frey was raised by nanase. so was freyna#and nanase prefers short hair so both kids have his haircut too#the nanase one i like the left byt the right one i messed up a little#i need to draw solari again cause his sharp jaw and face i struggled eith#i need to try a few more times to do a vetter job#also i got better at the hair as i did more sketches so id like to do his hair again#1 guess my favorite character. ill give u a hint#took me the most tries to draw
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