#female kylo ren
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ladygriffith · 6 months ago
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fem Kylo Ren is looking for Rey 1x1 RP
Looking for a femslash Reylo 1x1 RP? If you want to RP as Finn, Poe, or any other character, it's fine too!
I can also rp as Rey and you as fem Kylo / male Kylo whichever you are happy with!
smut is fine if you are 18+
Interested? dm me and push the ❤ button and I'll reach out to you asap.
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gh0stsp1d3r · 1 month ago
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Ghost’s kinktober 2024 masterlist ˚。⋆୨୧˚
don’t like something? don’t read it! 🫶🏽
HOTD, MARVEL, X-MEN, OBX, PEACEMAKER, STAR WARS.
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1. Breast worship, Aemond Targaryen
2. Thigh riding, Logan howlett/wolverine
3. Predator/prey, weapon x!logan
4. Gun play, Rafe Cameron
5. Mask kink, Adrian chase/vigilante
6. Glove kink, Kylo ren
7. Pussy slapping, Logan howlett/Wolverine
8. Lap dance, Aegon Targaryen
9. Sex pollen, Logan Howlett/wolverine
10. Pain kink, Logan Howlett/Wolverine
11. Interrupted sex, JJ maybank
12. Praise kink, Remy Lebeau
13. Jealousy, John B
14. Car sex, old man logan
15. Teacher/student, Scott summers
16. Corruption kink, Logan Howlett
17. Dacryphilia, Rafe Cameron
18. Choking, Anakin Skywalker
19. Stalking, Rafe Cameron
20. Corruption + age difference, old man Logan
21. Somnophilia, Rafe Cameron
22. Spanking + punishment, Logan Howlett
23. Breeding kink, Remy Lebeau
19. Boot licking, Kylo Ren
25. Virginity, Remy Lebeau
26. Biting/marking, Logan Howlett
27. Hair pulling, Bucky Barnes
28. Mirror sex, Scott Summers
29. Cock warming, Peter Maximoff
30. TO BE DETERMINED
31. TO BE DETERMINED
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tossawary · 28 days ago
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I was thinking about Fandom's Darlings recently because I encountered another case of "Yes, Your Ship Has Become Canon But At What Cost???" in the wild. Which is a mouthful, but I don't have a snappier name for these events in fandom yet.
It's when two characters get together in a story, but... their characterizations get destroyed in the process because the writers apparently 1) can't write solid romance (it's a specific skill!) and 2) also can't fit that romance into the broader story. Often, all of the supporting characters surrounding this shiny couple will ALSO suffer severe characterization damage to make this romance happen. And sometimes the larger plot and even the worldbuilding will also take hard structural hits so the story can focus on this GREAT PASSION that frankly just isn't... executed well.
Like, if a ship I dislike becomes canon, that's one thing, but if the writing for it isn't even semi-competent, that's worse!!! And the really insufferable part is actually the shippers who are not only popping bottles because their ship went canon, but will mock everyone who complains about the bad writing (or tries to earnestly analyze why exactly this conclusion sucks) as "bitter sore losers". I mean, the characters you profess to love have been turned into empty shells of themselves, the canonical partnership here is about as shallow as a puddle, and the integrity of this entire fictional world is on fire, but sure, you "won" this ship war. Congrats.
There is nothing else to do but move on, it's definitely not worth getting into it with anyone. But it REALLY sucks if you actually liked either of the characters involved or maybe even liked the ship itself, because then it's like... "I have been given an enormous cake, but it has been Poisoned. I cannot eat this, for I would choke on it. I have been Betrayed In A Fashion Most Vile." But everyone still sitting at the table tells you that you ought to be happy! At least you got some cake!
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bruhaalla · 4 months ago
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I can fix him
Him :
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gloomwitchwrites · 5 months ago
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Can you do something angsty with Kylo ren for the 1k follower event? Like makeup/breakup (or both) preferably with a little 🌶️🥵
Kylo Ren, my favorite sad boy. Maybe it’s because I have such a crush on Adam Driver, but I adore Kylo Ren. Maybe it’s because I love dark side-leaning hotties. (Although nothing compares to Darth Maul but I digress). Now, I (personally) see Kylo Ren/Ben Solo as one person, just different personas, however, for this prompt, we’re talking about Kylo Ren. How would Kylo Ren react to a makeup/breakup scenario?? Honestly? Probably not well. Let’s be real.
Most of these are with gn!reader w/ an exception or two.
Content & Warnings (MDNI): angst, toxic/unhealthy relationships, suggestive themes, possessive behavior, non-descriptive mentions of sex
Word Count: 587
ao3 // taglist // main masterlist // 1k follower event masterlist
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First and foremost, with how toxic the First Order is, and everyone wanting leverage on others in order to move up the ranks, Kylo would never be open about his relationship with you. He would do everything in his power to hide his relationship with you for that very reason. It’s almost giving Anakin hiding Padme from the Jedi, but in a different light.
Of everyone that might know, it would be Supreme Leader Snoke. Snoke would absolutely use this relationship to manipulate Kylo Ren. He’d encourage the passion but would also devise ways to undermine Kylo’s relationship with you. He’s basically Palpatine in that regard.
The breakup would come from you, not from Kylo Ren unless Snoke deliberately told him to call it off. Even then, I think Kylo would try to hang on to you. He leans toward the dark side but he’s not Sith. He just wants to belong, and he wants to be wanted.
The breakup isn’t explosive or argumentative. If anything, Kylo appears outwardly calm.  It’s almost frustrating for you because you wanted some kind of reaction from him.
It’s the afterward, when you leave, that Kylo loses it. That lightsaber is coming out and heads are rolling. He’ll never unleash his anger on you, but he’ll unleash his anger on stormtroopers, control panels, and literally anything else that might be in his way.
After Kylo has cooled off, he’s going to come after you. This man is determined to hunt you down and keep you by his side, even if you don’t want it. Let’s be real here folks, Kylo’s love is toxic and unhealthy, especially if we’re talking about Force Awakens & Last Jedi Kylo Ren. This man will search the galaxy to find you again.
He’ll do it himself, too. He’s not leaving this task up to stormtroopers or to Hux. Kylo and his Knights are coming after you. Period.
When he does find you again, you put up a fight, but you’re no match for him. Kylo drags you back with him and confines you to a room. It’s comfortable, and you have everything you need, but you’re not allowed to leave.
Kylo visits you often, and in this, he is also calm—to a point. He insists you made the wrong choice, and is fairly reasonable about it. But of course, you push his buttons. Eventually, he fractures, and he’s more like the Kylo we see in the interrogation room with Rey. Kylo has patience, but it’s only for you.
This back-and-forth eventually implodes, coming to a head that only ends with the two of you reuniting physically.
It’s Kylo that acts first. He wants you, and he always wants you to stop talking for a few seconds. Which is why he grabs the back of your neck and draws you in for a kiss.
You don’t fight him. You melt into him, wrapping your arms around his neck. These first few kisses are all soft, and then quickly devolve into insistence.
Clothes are ripped away from bodies until it’s skin-against-skin.
Kylo needs to dominate here. He needs to establish that he’s the one in control and that you only want him.
He won’t force anything. Kylo will never cross that line.
Kylo will need verbal confirmation that you’re his. He might delay or even control your orgasm just to hear you say that you belong to him.
Kylo will make you beg, and won’t give you your end until he’s complete satisfied that you’re his again.
taglist:
@padawancat97 @foxxy-126 @glassgulls @km-ffluv @sweetbutpsychobutsweet
@singleteapot @garfunklevibes2012 @tiredmetalenthusiast @childofyuggoth @miaraei
@coffeecaketornado @kayden666 @cherryofdeath @enfppuff @ninman82
@no-oneelsebutnsu @ferns-fics @beebeechaos @tulipsun-flower @nomercyforthewarrior
@hantheconqueror
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enviedear · 1 year ago
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i've been going solo now ⟶ ben solo
description ⌙ when you get a distress signal from your dad and his life-long goon you're quick to try and come to their rescue. only problem? so is ben solo.
pairing ⌙ smuggler!ben solo x f!reader
warnings ⌙ childhood crush/frenemies turned adults with horrible communication skills, reader is the daughter of lando (biologically or not you decide), ben is a jerk, reader is a brat, petty arguments, forced proximity trope, inner conflict all the time, han and lando are just two pals getting into serious issues that their kids have to fix don't mind them (they're just mentioned), most likely incorrect knowledge of the falcon & starship parts, smuggler!ben solo au because that's canon to me, ben calls reader kid (affectionate, kinda), typos probabaly
word count ⌙ 4.1k
— request | masterlist
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i just think ben solo is very much solo by future coded and i wanted to write about smuggler!ben and his smug attitude. special thanks to @crucifiedfaerie for letting me gush over this idea constantly in our dms <3
you never had the stomach for killing— the thought of it or the act itself. the notion of ending someone's life has always been abhorrent to you, leaving a sour sensation in your mouth that lingers long after the deed is done. but right now, you sit, filled with a growing and seemingly unstoppable rage that practically demands blood.
"don't even think about jumping into hyperspace, solo!" your voice is loud but erratic.
the black-haired man piloting the ship gives you a side eye, "and waste hours getting there? sure thing, kid."
you grip the co-pilot seat as hard as possible as he sends the absolutely geriatric ship into lightspeed. the force of it sends your head back onto the headrest, and you screw your eyes shut until the motion of the ship stills.
you've been flying with ben solo on the millennium falcon for a day and a half now, and this isn't even the first time you've wanted to kill him.
no, you'd harbored a hatred for ben solo for as long as you could remember. when you were little your father frequently left you in the care of the organa-solo's. any trip too risky for you to follow him on had you spending time on chandrila han and leia— and ben.
he was a few years older than you and so insufferable - spoiled rotten and full of mischief. the two of you would inevitably end up in scuffles over something, whether it be who got to shower first or which holovid show to watch. you often wondered how your father, han, or leia had managed to handle both of you. a hardheaded pair of troublemakers that needed little excuse to start bickering with one another.
but beneath it all, there had been another layer to your complex relationship with ben solo. even though you feigned anger whenever near him, deep down there had been an admiration growing since those early days spent together. your naive heart fluttered when he would absentmindedly flash his ever-present smirk in your direction. but you'd never admit or act upon any such feelings.
naviagting your crush had been difficult at first. especially having lando calrissian as a parent. you were forced to spend weeks around the source of your teen angst because of your father.
what use is a dad that can sweet-talk a jablogian if he can't fix your unwanted crush on his best friend's son.
you've cursed at his image in your mind every time you look at your ridiculous companion. if not for him, you wouldn't be with ben right now— you'd have never had the displeasure of his company.
you got away from the young solo, and most everyone else, for a good five years, hopping from planet to planet, picking up any honest work. which usually meant boring work— factory jobs, service stuff, a few instances of babysitting.
your life without ben solo is predictable and a little boring.
but you'd rather be bored than deal with the recklessness that becomes your life every time you see the smuggler.
but here you sit beside him, forced to spend an unknown amount of days with him until the both of you find your idiotic fathers.
you had gotten a rouge comm-link message from your dad just days ago. he sounded fine, voice still leisurely and warm, but it was his words that were worrisome, "han's got us in a bit of trouble, little star. would you mind coming to help your old man out? we're somewhere in the trilon sector— i'd try batuu first!"
when you got the message, your mind had gone into autopilot. you had rushed to comm leia, which had been a fatal mistake, as she had ordered her son to pick you up and accompany you. so now you're here, stuck with ben solo and his frightening flying.
"you know, dad should have warned me i'd be flying with a coward." ben's lips are curved into a grin, as usual with his teasing.
you whip your head in his direction, eyes ablaze, "well my father should have warned me that you've gotten even more annoying, somehow."
ben narrows his eyes, a stupid smirk still plastered to his face, "whatever you say, kid."
you feel your blood go hot, why he decided to start calling you kid, you didn't know, but you do know you hate it.
ben's barely your senior, only twenty-three years of age in comparison to your twenty. besides he behaves like an out-of-hand teen away.
"stop calling me that." you groan.
ben chuckles, "aw, what's the matter, kid? tired of following orders already?"
you grit your teeth, the way he talks down to you will forever get under your skin, "i don't take orders from you, solo."
"sure you do. you're on my ship, remember?" ben retorts, his eyes focused on the coordinates displayed to his left.
you cross your arms over your chest, "we're supposed to be working together to find han and my father and get them out of trouble, not bickering like children."
ben rolls his eyes, "it's not my fault you're so uptight."
you take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. you can't afford to lose your temper and start a fight, not when you're relying on him to get you to your destination safely. so, you force a smile, "look, can we just be civil? we're both here because we care about our dads and want to help them."
ben's expression softens a little, "fine. but if you start nagging at me again, i can't promise i won't call you kid."
you roll your eyes, "deal. now, can you tell me more about what's going on? my dad was pretty vague in his message."
ben hums, "same with mine. all i know is that lando got mixed up in some kind of shady deal, and now he's in trouble with a gang of criminals called the ninth sun. my mom's been trying to negotiate with them, but they're not ones to bend the knee."
you groan, "of course not. what's the plan?"
he shakes a stray black strand of hair from his eye, "no plan, just find them and go from there."
"lovely, that's totally going to work," you bite your lip, "oh and, it was han who made the sketch deal, not my dad."
ben shrugs, "and who told you that?" he rests his elbow on the armrest and brings his hand to his chin, "lando?"
you clench your fists, "let's just focus on finding them. no need to dwell on the semantics."
ben glances at you and for a moment, you swear there's a flicker of something in his eyes. something other than his usual teasing, mischievous demeanor, but it's gone as quickly as it came and he turns back to the console.
the ship hums steadily beneath you, and the silence between you two stretches on, broken only by the occasional beep from the controls. you fidget in your seat, uncomfortable with the unfamiliar hush. you've never been around ben so long without saying anything, and you're about to speak up before he interrupts you.
"we'll have to make a pit stop, i need to refuel." his voice sounds tired.
you nod, "alright. any nearby planets we can stop at?"
ben checks the navicomputer, "yeah, there's one a couple of light years away. i've been there before, it's not too bad."
"okay solo, lead the way." you say, leaning back in your seat.
as he pilots the ship toward the destination, you can't help but study him from the corner of your eye. he's changed since the last time you saw him. the boy who used to pull your hair and steal your toys has grown into a man. he's lean and toned with longer hair, still as sable black as ever. it falls into his eyes, despite how much he wills it not to, giving him a slightly disheveled look that you can't help but find attractive.
you rue the thoughts plaguing your own mind.
the embarrassment you used to feel over your crush has come back ten-fold. the feeling shocks you. he's trying to act all suave and mature, but you know deep down that he's still the same old ben who annoyed the life out of you. you can feel the familiar tug in your heart every time he speaks, and you know he can't have changed much over the years. not when he's making you feel just like you're fourteen again.
but there is something different about him now. maybe it's the way he pilots the ship with ease– no longer the boy who'd cover his ears ar take off, or maybe it's just the way his muscles flex under his tight-fitting shirt. he's almost mesmerizing.
it's clear that he's been doing this for a long time, navigating the stars all alone with nothing but his shitty attitude and perfect hair. you find yourself marveling over him, sure and smooth, his hands deftly moving over the controls.
ever the realist, you try to shake off the feeling, but it's proving difficult. you feel a strange urge to preserve your current addiction.
as you watch him fly, you feel a fixation building within you. it's a sentiment you haven't felt in years, not felt since the last time you saw him.
you try to push the feeling down, knowing that it's not the time to have those kinds of thoughts. you're supposed to be focused on finding your fathers and not getting killed by some lethal syndicate, not lusting after your childhood nemesis.
you feel wrong stealing glances at him, trying to understand what's changed and why you're feeling this way. you're towing a dangerous, line. especially if those feelings are inspired by ben organa-solo.
finally, after what feels like hours, you arrive at the refueling station. as soon as ben lands the ship, you stretch your legs inside the falcon, looking out at the new scenery. the planet is bathed in the evening light, and the scene around you is wide awake. the station itself is a bustling hub of activity, with all kinds of alien species milling about.
ben leads the way to the fueling station, where he begins filling up the ship's tanks. you stand by the ship's entrance, people-watching. your eyes find ben's figure again, and you let them stall. when he looks your way, you advert your gaze and step out of the falcon, swiftly approaching him.
the evening air is cool as it hits your skin. this planet is a strange one, with vibrant purple plants and thick, white fog swirling around. but you don't pay too much attention to it, your eyes are locked on ben.
he's leaning against the ship, checking over the fuel meter with a frown on his face. you walk over to him and clear your throat, expecting to get his attention.
he looks up at you, eyes meeting your own. you feel your heart skip a beat, and you curse yourself for being soft for him.
"you know, you didn't have to follow me out here." he mumbles, hand coming to brush the hair from his eyes.
you hum, "i didn't have anything better to do."
he ignores you and looks back at the fuel gauge, his eyebrows furrow, "i found something for you to do." his voice is monotone, but you're all too familiar with the subtle cut of annoyance within.
"what does that mean?" you own voice comes out a bit too anxious.
ben groans before looking at you, "one of the damn tanks has a leak— i told chewie to fix that weeks ago." he follows up his words with a few curses before kicking the faulty gas tank.
you roll your eyes, "can't we just get another one? i'm sure if we go inside someone would know where we could get another one."
"the problem isn't finding one," he tsks at you, "the problem is that this tank has been leaking fuel into the beacon finder. without that, we're never finding our dear old dads."
your heart sinks. you had been so sure that you would find your dad quickly, but now it looks like that might not be the case. "so, what do you suggest we do?" you ask, crossing your arms over your chest.
"i'll have to fix the beacon," he sighs, "luckily i have the tools for it, but i need to find one more part, and with the sun setting soon…" he trails off, letting his silence complete the sentence for him.
you take in a deep breath at his implication. you can tell what he is suggesting without explicitly stating it.
you will be stuck on this planet with him tonight and forced to share the same cramped room. you thank god for separate cots, at least.
you try to ignore the warmth creeping up your ears, but you know that it's a losing battle. you haven't shared a room with ben solo since you were kids, endless unwilling sleepovers at each other's houses. but those instances were filled with innocent pranks and arguments, not the tension and longing glances you've found yourself giving him.
"alright," you say, trying to keep your voice even, "we'll just get the part and fix the beacon. the faster we fix this, the faster we can find our fathers and get back to our lives." you move towards the entrance of the fueling station, wanting to put space between you and ben.
"you mean so you can get back to your life." he calls out to you, and you look back at him only to be met with contempt in his brown eyes, "the one where you avoid me."
you give him a sharp eye roll before making your way toward a small gaggle of vendors, much more interested in finding this part. ben follows closely behind you, and you can feel the weight of his stare on the back of your head.
you're at a loss as to why ben solo would ever care that you've been avoiding him for the last five years. the ben you remember would've never batted an eye. when did that change?
you find a vendor selling the part that ben needs, and you both split the payment before heading back to the falcon. ben sets to work on the beacon, and you sit nearby, supposedly looking over the coordinates but mostly watching him work.
there's an abnormal sense of calm that fills you as you watch him. concentration is etched on his face, lips bitten bright red. you can't help but admire him, not for the sake of not trying.
you're brought back to reality when he starts cursing under his breath, "what's wrong?" you ask, moving closer to him.
"this damn thing won't budge," he grunts, trying to pry apart two pieces of the beacon.
you move to his side, peering down at the device. his breath is hot on your cheek, and you feel an urge to shiver. trying to focus on the task at hand you take a few breaths.
your eyes keep drifting to his lips, the way they move when he curses. you shake your head, trying to clear the inappropriate thoughts from your mind. "let me help," you offer, reaching for one of the tools he's using.
he hands it to you, and you lean in closer, your sides pressed together as you work the tool. you can feel his heat exuding into you, a warmth that isn't just from the planet's humid air. you try to focus, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. every time he moves, you catch a whiff of his scent, musky and rich, and your mind starts to wander to places it shouldn't.
finally, after what feels like an eternity, the piece pops free, and ben lets out a sigh of relief. he turns to you, a small smile on his face, and you can't help but smile back. his eyes lock onto yours, and suddenly, the air between you is charged with something foreign.
you let your tone come out sardonic, "looks like i saved the day. you're welcome, solo."
ben tilts his head, eyes narrowing, "you're a brat, kid."
"i thought i told you to stop calling me that." you want to hit him.
"i said i had a condition," he pauses, arms coming to either side of you, palms pressing into the falcon's floor, effectively trapping you against him, "a condition you just broke. so you're back to kid, kid."
you feel your resolve slipping, "you're the worst. you always have been, and i can see now that will never change."
he has the audacity to let out an amused breath, "if you're going to say shit like that, at least mean it."
your brows furrow, "pardon me? as if i don't mean that."
his hands creep from the ground and to your hips, you gasp as he pulls you in closer. if he were anyone else, you'd expect him to kiss you next, but he's not anyone else. so instead, he cranes down and whispers in your ear, his breath hot against your skin. "i know you want me," he growls, his fingers digging into your clothed flesh. "don't act like you don't,"
you're completely caught off guard, and before you can respond, he's pulling away from you and grabbing the beacon. you watch in silent horror as he makes for the falcon's exit, leaving you confused on the floor.
you sit there, rooted to the spot, your mind and body in turmoil. you know if you follow him you'd just be throwing yourself into a petty or embarrassing altercation.
what did he mean by that anyway? how could he possibly know?
taking a steadying breath, you turn away from your seat and make for the other side of the ship. you need to keep yourself busy until nighttime, and you know that there's some maintenance to do on one of the storage bays. when you get there, however, it's already been taken care of. your fists clench in frustration as you realize ben must have done it earlier.
you start searching around the ship for any other tasks that might help keep your mind off things and pass the time more quickly- checking cords, tidying up shelves or going through supplies lists so nothing gets low.
the hours seem to stretch on endlessly despite how much work you manage to do, and all too soon darkness begins to fill the sky outside of the cockpit windows. with a heavy sigh, you head back towards where you and ben had been working earlier. he's back now, tinkering away with the beacon as if nothing had ever happened between the two of you earlier— as if his words hadn't sent a tremble down your spine and confused the emotions tumbling through your mind.
you catch an expectant glance from him when he finally notices your presence. you're sure he's expecting you to say something to him. maybe he wants you to yell.
you don't say anything though, instead offering only a terse nod before checking the endless cords around you.
your fingers move quickly and expertly over the tangled cords, your mind too preoccupied to focus on anything else. but you can feel his gaze on you, burning through the back of your skull like a branding iron. his presence is suffocating and you know that if you don't get a handle on your emotions soon, you'll combust.
eventually, you're so lost in thought that you almost miss the soft footfalls approaching you. you turn to see ben standing beside you, his eyes locked onto yours. the air between you is thick with strain, unspoken words, and feelings. there are so many things you want to say to him, but you don't know where to begin.
"so," his voice breaks through the silence like a blaster shot. "when are we going to talk about it?"
you hear the depth in his baritone voice and it's all you can do to keep your face neutral, your thoughts collected, "talk about what?" you ask, even though you know perfectly well what he's referring to.
"about me and you," he says, voice low but insistent, "or we can just keep ignoring it. the tension seems to be getting us pretty far."
your expression shifts as you take in his words, the longing that had been coiled in so tightly before now coming to the surface. you can feel yourself flustering under the intensity of his watch but you refuse to look away, instead lifting your chin higher and narrowing your eyes.
"there is no us, solo," you say firmly, though your voice is riddled with a hint of something else entirely, "there never has been, and never will be."
ben seems unfazed by your words, his eyes steady and intense. "you say that," he says, his voice softening. "but i know you better than anyone else. and i know there's some part of you that actually likes me. i bet it pisses you off, doesn't it?"
he's right— it does piss you off that your heart can't seem to let him go. no matter how annoying you find him, he's beautiful and confident. and he does know you better than anyone. he knows what buttons to press and how hard. with ben, there's always the thrill of how perceptive he is— that he can see through the walls of anger and indifference you try so hard to build up around yourself.
you can feel your will crumbling under his words, your heart throbbing in your chest, but still, you push back, "even if there is something there, solo," you say, your voice shaking slightly, "it doesn't change anything. we're two different people living two very different lives."
ben smirks, "you don't know anything about my life."
you let your eyes roll, "as if the life you lead is some kind of mystery," you take a deep breath, "i mean, what's to know? you fly alone, smuggle, and rack up credits. that's your life, solo."
he hums, right hand finding a home beside your head on the wall, "you know me so well, kid. you should write a book."
you feel inexplicably hot, "maybe i will. a long book of all the reasons you piss me off."
he doesn't respond, just looks down at you for an uncomfortable amount of time. he pushes himself from the wall and you, twisting and letting his back hit the durasteel wall. his face is turned to you, eyes downcast.
"you know," he says finally, breaking the silence, "i remember when we were kids, it was always you who used to be the one to instigate. you probably don't remember it that way, but i do, and i loved it. you never hesitated. you were fearless."
you look at him incredulously, wondering what this has to do with anything. but he continues, "you were the only girl that would play with me, and not just that, the only one that could beat me. but then one day you just stopped. you ignored me completely."
you stiffen, unwilling to admit even through body language that he might be right. a pre-teen you found avoiding your ben sized crush the most viable option. you just never thought he'd care.
he continues, eyes unwavering from yours, "you used to look at me like i was the only person that mattered. and then, you just stopped. it's was like… like you had something to hide."
it's like he can read your mind because he reaches out and grasps your wrist in his hand. his touch is nice against your skin, sending a comfortable feel through your veins.
"i miss you, the girl who wasn't afraid of liking me," he whispers, his voice low and husky. "and i want you to admit that you miss me too."
you struggle to find words, to make sense of everything inside of you, but before you can speak, his lips are on yours. his kiss is hot and demanding, and instinctively lean into him, body melting against his in perfect harmony. his hands slide around your waist and hold you close as the kiss deepens, and you can feel all of the frustrations of the past slipping away. when he finally pulls back, his eyes are bright with emotion and a hint of a smile graces his lips.
he looks down at you for a moment before speaking in a low voice, "you want me to do that again?" he steps closer to you and cups your face in his hands, his eyes twinkling with amusement. you can feel the warmth radiating from his body and if it weren't for his strong arms around you, you would have melted into a puddle.
you nod slowly in agreement, too lost in the moment to say anything else. he leans down and brushes his lips against your cheek before pulling away completely, "then be honest. right here, right now. you like me."
you screw your eyes shut, basking in the shame of being found out, "i like you, solo. i like you a lot, but if you don't get off your pedestal and kiss me again i'll withdraw the opportunity."
he gazes down at you with an expression that's tender yet mischievous all at once. "i like you too," he whispers before chuckling lightly, you open your eyes to see.
his dimples are on full display, and for a second, he's the spirit of the little brat you fell in love with all those years ago. "c'mere, kid." his voice is soft as he pulls you back into him, lips meeting yours.
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peterparkersnose · 2 years ago
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Two Ghosts
pairing: kylo ren x queen!reader 
word count: 2.6k
warnings: neglect, arranged marriage, dislike of s/o, reader has children, descriptions of periods, domestic abuse, old values (women are dainty bullshit), guys kylo isn’t nice remember that, fertility issues, stopping of a period due to stress, reader lives for her children basically, reader obviously has anxiety, reader is basically breaded for heirs, kylo is awkward (the dude doesn’t have social skills. at all. whatsoever), even though he still has some rizz (call him kylo rizz if you would), a good ending? idk guys remember kylo just isn’t a great person and the first order isn’t a good organization too
a/n a long warning list 😬. anyways i never get notes on kylo fics but i simply do not care. i love writing new content for this man. he deserves it all.
summary Kylo tries being the husband Y/N always wanted him to be
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read time: 9 mins 40 seconds
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Watching you felt almost wrong. The neglect he’s given you through the years- the pain you’ve felt and him not caring about you for as long as he’s known you.
He didn’t deserve to watch this beautiful sight of his family, the family he didn’t even want. The family he wasn’t even apart of. You two were an arranged marriage, married for political reasons. He needed an heir, your father needed peace on your home planet. You and your children had always been a nuisance to him. 
You had given up on the romantic attempts years ago. But something in this sight, something about you right then made him sick. Something made him click taking in this view from the balcony on the hill.
For weeks he had longing feelings of sadness. He hated admitting it and rejected it as much as he could, but light was seeping into the cracks. His moods began to lighten softly, not enough for you to notice but enough to scare him. Now looking down and feeling this, it was just a confirmation of what was really happening to him.
The sun shown down on your beautiful yellow dress that was layed out on the grass. Your hair was up in intricate braids due to the heat on Naboo, the tiny loose strands were swaying in the wind. The field you sat in was just off a short cliff, the beautiful rural city and coast were just feet away. The perfect escape between the busy city and the old city. The mansion sat atop the hill, separating the two separate terrains. You were on a vacation and had begged him to come for the sake of his children.
Your oldest son ran around you in circles, playing with a TIE one of his father’s assistants bought him for Christmas. Kylo couldn’t be bothered to celebrate, let alone give gifts. Henry was just shy of his sixth birthday. His blonde hair was messy and in need of a cut sometime soon. His gray tunic and black pants matched his father’s aesthetic a little too much for your liking. Running around, he made engine sounds as the ship would like a typical 5 year old.
Your youngest daughter sat in front if you, playing with some wildflowers she had plucked into an array of ‘jewlery’. She was three. Unlike her brother, she had beautiful strong brown hair. Unbeknownst to you, it completely mirrored her grandmothers. You had her hair in your hands, coming through it with your fingers trying to decide what design to attempt today. Amala squirmed as she attempted to join her brother, but you kept her in place in your lap. She was to learn to be a lady as you were. Her dark pink dress was spread out in front of her.
Kylo watched you as the pit in his stomach felt odd. It had always been empty, but this time something ached inside of it. He had never had any interest in you. The times you ever had sex were intended and resulted in children, exactly what he needed. He cared more about Henry than Amala. Henry was the oldest and the heir to the First Order. But work called. He was never a family man, he was never meant to be a family man.
These feelings continued to conflict him throughout the night.
As the sun set you came in with the children. The nannies took them upstairs and readied them for bed. You took your place at the long dinner table. On the opposite side sat your husband- legally.
Over the years you obviously lusted for other men. You didn’t even dare act on your thoughts, or barely thought the thoughts at all. You knew Kylo would have their heads within seconds. With an absent husband emotionally and physically it was hard. In the first few years of your marriage, you struggled with fertility problems. Life was so lonely without the children. He grew angrier and angrier with you each time you got your cycle and your anxiety got so bad that it soon stopped. Your doctor moved you to separate chambers and eventually Henry was conceived after years of trying.
You felt like a failure before your son was born.
After copious amounts of treatment during your pregnancy, Henry was born. And then a while after that Supreme Leader Snoke granted you permission to have another. An heir and a spare.
You and Kylo sat silently eating your dinner. Over the years, you had perfected your etiquette. No slurping your wine, no scratching of the fork on the plate. At dinner you would mostly go over your thoughts from the day. The tuition papers you had to sign for Henry’s first school next year. Amala refusing to listen to her nanny and requesting her mommy really warmed your heart. The beautiful memory of that day you had spent with the children. The fact that you were doing it alone and was so good at it.
He listened to your thoughts. You knew he did. No datapad, no work bot giving him constant coded updates you didn’t understand. Tonight it was just the two of you. Two strangers eating dinner together. The show, the facade had to go on. Media wise you two were the loveliest couple in the galaxy. In reality, you spoke maybe once a week.
“R-80!” you called from the dining room. Kylo’s head shot up from his plate of food to see you waiting on the cleaner droid. You had finished the meal and was waiting to leave this awkward encounter.
The droid came around and you began to exit the room. His hand deliberately reached out for yours as you walked past him to get to the door.
A tiny gasp escaped your lips. You stopped and pulled your hand back, a concerned look was on display.
You were begging in your mind for this to had been an accident.
“It was no accident,” he said strongly. His deep voice boomed through your ears. You forgot how powerful it could be sometimes.
For the first time in years Kylo was feeling anxiety. Over something so minuscule, speaking to his wife. His eyes met and darted over your face. He recognized the braid pattern in your hair. You had worn it on your wedding day. Rarely he had seen it on you, depending if he even noticed you on the daily. His eyes were drawn to your dark lipstick on the lips that were slightly pursed.
“Your hair-” he said. Your eyes flicked up to the window, looking for any sign of a reflection.
Did he hate it, was he about to tell you to never wear it again? Was a strand so obviously out of place? Hell, why was he even speaking to you in the first place?
“It’s how it was on our wedding day, if I remember correctly.”
You nodded your head. Heat rose to your cheeks. This is the longest conversation you two have had in months.
He stared into your eyes. He forgot just how beautiful you really were. They were still the same as always, but this time with a few unnoticeable lines around them. You refused to meet his gaze, staring forward at the distorted mirroring of the room in the window.
Ten years in with two kids, you had managed to keep up with yourself and your appearances. For what, you really weren’t sure anymore.
“May I be excused? I would like to go check on the children.” you asked, avoiding his eye contact.
“Yes, one moment.” he said, his hand reaching out for yours. You hesitantly took it.
Kylo took a deep breath. Even though he seemed calm and composed, inside of his head the red alarm was going off. The urge to even ask you this went against everything he believed in. The twist in his stomach snapped. He gave in to the light feelings, begging for more after how good he felt after asking you a simple question.
“May I sleep with you in your chambers tonight?”
Your brows furrowed. “D-did you talk to the Supreme Leader? Did he give you permission for another?” you asked him, worried. You loved your children but you had no say in having them. The Supreme Leader could make you give birth to an army if he willed.
“No, no. This isn’t about sex.” he assured you. Of course you assumed it was about sex. It was the only time he ever really spoke to you. A slight relief flew off your shoulders.
You sighed, taking your hand from his. “I’m going to check on the children.”
Your heels clicked down the empty hallway. Something in you secretly hoped that he would follow you to see the children, but you knew your husband.
You were baffled in his sudden change of heart. He hadn’t shared a bed with you since- well, since Amala was conceived. You didn’t deny his request, but neither confirmed it.
Your thoughts kept you company as you walked down the many corridors and hallways of the mansion.
The large door was cracked, left like that by the nannies. They knew your routine better than anyone else. Amala was sleeping closest to the door. The canopy above her bed was swaying from the wind of the open window. Henry was laying on his stomach in a deep sleep, his limbs all sprawled out over the large bed.
A smile rose to your face as you quietly closed the door. Your heart was full once again. No more doubt plagued the poor, confused thing from dinner.
You made your way to your chambers. You passed what you knew was Kylo’s. Shockingly, the door was open. You caught a glimpse of him working at his desk. He looked too large for the thing, trumping the tiny chair in size. The patio was open and the moonlight rushed in, lighting his room ominously.
He caught a glimpse of your flowing yellow dress passing his room. He wanted to finish up a few papers before bed, but in his heart he knew he had to neglect his work for one night.
He mustered up enough courage to knock on your door. A sweet “Coming!” came from inside. Within seconds, your door was open and he was met with your fresh face. You had changed into your night robes and had your natural hair down on your shoulders. The bathroom light was on and he noticed the fresh mint scent coming from your breathe.
Your night maids hadn’t been around yet, he presumed.
Something in your look, your energy died a bit when you saw him.
How had he never noticed? How could all these feelings, these guilt trips be plaguing him now, suddenly? What changed?
“We’re you hoping for a maid?” he asked, following you into the large room. He locked the door behind him.
You sat down back at your vanity, pulling your brush out of the drawer.
“No.” you replied. He knew you were lying.
The bed creaked as Kylo sat down. His dark grey dress pants were perfectly ironed and didn’t crease at the contact. He itched at his black turtleneck, swiping the cuff with his finger. He could hear his watch ticking from his wrist. The room was cold.
“May I ask why you wanted to be here?” you asked, a certain confidence in your voice had occurred. Turning now to face him, you finished brushing your hair and placed your hairbrush back in the drawer.
“Honestly darling, I’m really not sure.”
Darling?
If you weren’t so poised your jaw would have been on the floor.
“Today I saw a sight. You with the kids in the field.”
“Oh Kylo, there children. There’s nothing wrong with them playing in a field if this is what this is about-”
“No. I-”
Kylo Ren had never felt himself speechless before, yet again choking up at the sight of his family he used to despise.
Your tucked your chair back into your vanity. Now standing infront of the cowardly man, you waited for his response.
His hand cradled his forehead as he stared at the floor, watching your perfectly manicured feet come into frame.
That’s when he let his first sob out in years. You quickly embraced him in your arms, his forehead finding a resting place against your stomach. Your hands sprawled over his back in a cautious way. Peeking over ever so slightly, you checked if he had his lightsaber on his belt. Thank the gods he didn’t, you were afraid he would cut you into two.
Nobody had ever seen Kylo Ren cry.
“I don’t understand what you are getting at.” you whispered to him. Another sob came out, you began to rub his back.
“I-I am such a fool.” he managed to speak. His eyes looked up into yours, finally making contact for the first time in forever.
The look on your face was baffled.
“What have I been doing? I have a family- a wife? So much neglect, so much hate. How are you still here, my dear? How have I not driven you away, or driven you to worse? I-I have two children. Two beautiful children I don’t know and such a beautiful wife that I’m strangers with. So many years wasted. How did it take me ten years to see this? How did one small instance make my life come crumbling down around me?” he asked, bawling out his words.
You were speechless.
“I want to learn- please. How do I have such an amazing person with me and I don’t know the slightest thing about her? Tell me, w-what’s your middle name?” he went on, now holding you by the hips and eagerly speaking.
And that’s when it really hit you. You two were strangers.
“Amala,” you muttered out. “Oh! T-that makes so much sense—in our daughter. Her name,”
“What are there names, please tell me.” he seemed to beg.
“Henry Cornelius Benjaq Ren, Amala Charress Bryneri Ren.” you answered, a smile emerging on your lips.
Was this too good to be true?
Kylo was stunned of Henry’s middle name. Benjaq. There was no way you knew of his real name. The coincidence hurt him even more.
“Cornelius and Charress…” he pondered. “They sound so familiar are they…”
“My parents.” you answered him. “King Cornelius! How could I forget? Oh Y/N. I have neglected you for so long. How could you ever forgive me?”
His voice sounded genuine. “It’s definitely going to take time.” you sighed. Suddenly the years of loneliness and suffering flashed back in your mind. You broke away from his embrace and walked to the open balcony, giving him an invitation to follow.
“I will try. Please Y/N, let me.” he begged, following you outside.
The warm air brushed against your cool skin. You sighed, wishing you would wake up from this nightmare and your husband would be back. Did someone poison his food?
The yearning for anyone’s touch seeped into your mind. Watching all the other royal couples around the galaxy, they all seemed to love eachother. Hands touching almost constantly, sneaking a kiss or two at events. It was rare that you even got a photo with Kylo at the parties you would attend.
“I know,” he sighed, taking your hands into his. “I wish I could make it all go away.” he said with remorse.
The waves crashed against the sand. The wind was beginning to pick up. Your hair began to sway in the slight breeze. “Make it then,” you whispered, grazing a hand against his cheek. You dared giving him any sign of affection. You were half expecting him to pull his lightsaber out and cut you in half, just as you thought before. Something felt so wrong, but so right.
You kissed your husband for the first time since your wedding day. His lips were slightly chapped and you could taste the negroni he was drinking at dinner. The moon show down on the both of you, and the feeling he felt seemed to pass on to you. Force sensitive or not, the force was in your favor tonight. You felt the remorse and the pain he had been harboring for years. All the sleepless nights over work and heartache over his past life. You seemed to dilute all of that inside of him. You were the missing piece he was looking for all along. The thing he wanted the least was now his prized possession; his wife, the mother of his children, his Queen, his Empress.
All of that love came back. The feeling of when he was a little boy and still had light into him entered his heart once again. Ben Solo seeped through the cracks of his dark, broken heart.
tag list: @dani5216 @uwiuwi @alohastyles-x @mandoloriancookie @maddieinnit0 @alexxavicry @scoliobean @avengersfan25 @nyotamalfoy @milly-louise​ 
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bambispaceship · 3 months ago
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Interesting how everytime Star Wars was written for female gaze, the fandom always does its own cleansing
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kowaiitenshii · 1 year ago
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[Wish We Never Met]
Pairing: Kylo Ren x Reader 
Plot Summary: You haven’t seen Kylo Ren since he destroyed the Jedi academy you both called home in your youth, and you want nothing more than to forget about him. That doesn’t stop him from reaching out. 
Warnings: Kidnapping. Kylo is his own warning. Angst? 
Word Count: 2.3k
A/N: Hello again everyone! This oneshot is the product of a betrayal prompt from a good friend of mine! If this does well and people enjoy it, I will be open to prompts and requests and if the demand is high enough, I may even write a part 2 for this. Thank you so much for all the love on Sunkiller Lullaby again as well!! Please enjoy! 
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A perfectly clear night on Ossus, a rare meteor shower had been forecasted that night, and you didn’t dare to miss it.
You and your best friend, Ben Solo, had snuck out against your Master’s wishes to watch the shower together. 
It was once in a lifetime, after all. 
You couldn’t have thought of a better person to sneak out with, you’d known him since you were just ten years old; not that you had many other friends in the academy regardless. 
The two of you never quite fit in with the other padawan learners, having earned reputations for being too reckless, too quick to anger, too ready for a fight. But you found solace in one another, always sparring, studying, or shirking off your responsibilities to go on some ill-advised adventure together. 
As the two of you grew, as did your fondness for one another. Master Luke began separating you more and more, fearing that you would build ties too strong to sever. 
Attachment, of course, was strictly forbidden. 
But that did little to stop you from stealing away to see the person whom you were closest with in the entire world whenever you could.
The two of you laughed like the foolish teenagers you were as you ran through the lush green field littered with wildflowers together hand-in-hand, searching for the perfect spot to watch the show.
Cresting the top of the hill, Ben suddenly dropped  to the ground, pulling you along with him as you tumbled down through the long grass. As you came to a stop, landing on top of him at the bottom of the hill, you playfully punched him in the arm. 
“You really ought to be more careful Ben! We could have gotten hurt!” you scolded him, still laughing like mad. 
“You know I wouldn’t let that happen!” he reassures you, laughing back at you as you shift off of him and take a seat next to him in the tall grass. 
The two of you spent a long time in comfortable silence, watching the meteors shoot over your heads. It was an awe-inspiring sight, countless comets of every colour followed by their glowing tails lighting up the entire sky above. It truly was beautiful, and you were still unsure if you’ve seen such beauty since. 
You spent hours just watching, enchanted by the ethereal lightshow. 
That is, until you looked towards Ben, and instead of watching the beauty of the stars, he was watching you. 
Your breath caught in your throat, and your heart swelled in an unfamiliar way as you looked at him, realising in that moment that he had grown up, no longer the awkward, lanky boy you knew as a child. 
His eyes sparkled innocently in the dim light, reflecting the colours of the stars. His lips were pink and parted, as if to ask something that was caught just on the tip of his tongue. His long raven hair blew in the gentle breeze, tousled by your tumble down the hill. 
For a split second, you envisioned running your fingers carefully through his soft locks to fix it for him before forcing yourself to look away. 
Cheeks hot and heart thumping in your chest, you tried to remind yourself of the rules of the Jedi you so desperately tried to uphold. You knew attachment was wrong, and love could only serve to destroy you. And yet, the idea of a life lived without ever knowing love, that kind of love, left a hole in your heart that ached for it. 
Clenching your fists so tightly your nails dug into the palms of your hands and closing your eyes, you tried your hardest to push your feelings down, to bottle them up and seal them away. 
The gentle feeling of Ben carefully, almost sheepishly placing a large hand to your left cheek and turning you to face him snapped you out of your quiet rumination. The sensation of his touch was warm and tingling, spreading goosebumps across your skin like wildfire. 
Your eyes met again, Ben measuring your reaction, looking hesitantly from your eyes to your lips and back again, as if he too could sense what you were feeling. 
Given the tender, vulnerable expression that spread across his countenance, you knew that he could. The rough pad of his thumb ghosted over your cheekbone, your skin feeling electrified as he touched it, the energies between you rich and palpable. 
“(Y/N)...” He whispered your name like a prayer. 
Before he could speak again, you would take his face between your hands, crashing your lips into his in a moment of reckless abandon. 
They’re soft and wet, the feeling of the kiss itself and the mixing of energies setting you both on fire. 
You lose yourself in it, all teeth and tongue and burning desire, kissing him over and over again. 
Ben is just about to lay you down right there, in the soft grass beneath the stars, before you force yourself to pull away. Sitting up pin straight and wiping the spit away from your lips, you were too ashamed to even look back at him. 
The world goes black. 
The next scene that plays is the one that has torn you apart for years. 
Standing before the devastated Jedi academy you called home for nearly your entire life, you watched as it burned to ash. Tears flowed in rivers down your cheeks as you sobbed in agony of all that was lost, all because of the boy you loved. 
Falling to your knees, Ben’s name tore its way out of your throat in a grief-stricken scream.
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Eyes flying open, you jolt upright in bed. 
You’re then hit by the same cold realisation that it was all a dream, as you are every time you have that dream. Although, you suppose it's more of a recollection than a dream. 
Rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, you groan groggily as you spot the familiar silhouette of a man’s astral body across the room. 
“Ugh… Go away Kylo.” you moan, already becoming annoyed. 
Even if he wasn’t there physically, seeing him through the force hurt all the same. 
“You know I can’t, even if I wanted to.” he replies matter-of-factly, and you know it to be true. Whatever unseen force it is that binds you to each other, neither of you could control it. 
He haunts you like a ghost, torturing your very soul every time you would connect unannounced. His presence tonight is especially wounding, having been freshly reminded of the feelings you held for him despite everything. 
Throwing your covers off, you annoyedly begin to stoke the small fire pit in the centre of your hut, doing your best to ignore Kylo’s dark and magnetic presence looming in the shadows. 
“Where are you?” he asks abruptly, looking around the room and searching for any indicators of your location. 
You roll your eyes, finally looking in his face. His eyes are locked on you as he stands in the darkness of the room, the light of the flames illuminating his features. 
He’s every bit as handsome as you remember, all doe eyes and plump lips and strong nose. 
He’s gotten taller, and bulkier in terms of muscle than you remember, no doubt enhanced by his new training. Your heart strings tug painfully in your chest, and you remember why you avoid looking at him when this happens. 
“You know I can’t answer that.” you whisper solemnly in reply. 
“Why not?” he snaps back instantly.
“You know exactly why, Kylo Ren.” you sigh in irritation, spitting his name at him as if it tastes foul. You throw another log into the fire before standing and turning around, crossing your arms and doing your best to shut him out as your anger and frustrations build. 
“It would be so much easier if you would stop hiding, if you would just join me.” He continues, ignoring the vitriol in your tone and trying to coax the answer out of you. 
“I’m not hiding, Kylo. You just can’t find me. There’s a difference.” you scoff back at him, vaguely pleased when you hear him let out his own irritated sigh. 
You’ve been through this hundreds of times, your answers and his questions never changing. Everytime you speak to him, everytime you look at him, the void in your chest that calls to him grows wider. And with great pain every time, you deny him.
It’s torture, the purest form you could imagine. 
“You called to me. In your dream. I heard it.” he asserts in a gentler tone, as if it would change anything. You dig your nails into the skin of your arms in an attempt to temper the rage bubbling up inside of you. 
“I’m tired of fighting Kylo.” you sigh. “Can’t you see that? That’s why I’m here, in a hut in the fucking jungle.” you spit, an edge of hurt in your tone that you pray he doesn’t hear.
“Then why won’t you just come to me?” He tries desperately to persuade you. “I will take care of anything, everything you need. It could be so simple if you would just-” he starts on the same tirade that he starts every time you see each other. 
The fresh pain of the memories, the aching of your heart at seeing him, listening to the same argument; it’s finally all too much. The dam you’ve built to withhold your emotions finally breaks, your hurt finally overflowing as you spin on your heel to face him, screaming out the truth as you cut him off. 
“Because I love you, Ben! Because I love you, and you’ve destroyed everything else I’ve ever cared about! And I hate myself for it!” you bark at him through gritted teeth, hot tears welling up in your eyes and threatening to spill over.  
His brow furrows in frustration and shock as he yells back at you.
 “You know that isn’t the truth! I didn’t-” 
Clutching the sides of your head in frustration, you continue screaming, cutting him off once more. 
“Everyday I wake up and I’m forced back into the hell that is the realisation that this is my reality!” you gesture feverishly around the humble, run down hut in which you both stand, then between the two of you. “This is my reality, and I will never forgive you for it Ben.” your voice breaks, your anger spent and only leaving you with aching despair as the tears finally begin to fall. 
“I loved you, I really loved you.” you choke out between cries, the growing lump in your throat making it hard to speak. 
For once he’s silent, saying nothing as he looks upon you with widened eyes. 
He’s visibly taken aback, and the realisation finally hits you that you just admitted your love to him, and that you hadn’t called him by his name, his true name, since the incident that ripped you away from each other. 
He turns away from you, hiding the tears welling in his own eyes. 
“I don’t need your forgiveness.” he whispers, and you take one last look at him before he promptly vanishes. 
Left alone in the crippling emptiness of the hut you call home, you fall to your knees under the crippling weight of your sorrow, wracked with anguished sobs. 
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Elsewhere in the galaxy, Kylo Ren wipes the stray tears from his face and steels his nerves, before throwing on his cloak and helmet. 
He could feel your presence even more acutely in the force now, the bond strengthened by your heated confession. It was certainly not one he had expected, but he had no doubt now that he would track you down.
All he would have to do is follow your signature. 
Your words were all the confirmation he needed as he stormed out of his personal quarters to gather a fleet, barking the orders to gather his knights at a commanding officer. 
If you refused to give yourself willingly to him, he would just have to take you. 
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The next morning, you awaken suddenly to the sound of Stormtroopers blowing the door clean off of your hut. 
In an instant you leap to your feet, ready to defend yourself from any danger. Time moves in slow motion as you look out the door, the mass of troopers, fronted by the Knights of Ren  parting like the fabled red sea. 
Blood running cold, your heart drops to your feet as you lay eyes upon their leader who moves to the forefront, Kylo Ren.
You’re stricken with the awful, ice-cold revelation that he had used your bond in the force against you. 
It lead him right to you. 
Frantically turning to reach for a weapon, you’re cut short as a blaster hits you with a stun ray, rendering you unconscious. 
Your body falling to the floor with a soft thud, Kylo Ren strides over to where your body lay crumpled, just within the doorway, sighing regretfully. Crouching over you, he frowns as he softly brushes a lock of hair out of your face.
“It could have been so much easier.” he whispers like an apology, before carefully scooping you into his arms.
He takes a moment to look at you, admiring the beauty of his prize before carrying you onto his ship.
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xsister-serpent · 8 months ago
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MDNI 18+, Female receiving, Dacryphilia Big Time, Begging, Female Squirting  A/N: Decided to make a Dacryphilia blurb with Kylo Ren. There's just something about making this man whimper and beg that does things to me. Based on this song. (I need help.) Anyways enjoy! 
Kylo stood outside the door to your quarters. He could sense your presence through the force. He could feel your anger as it grew stronger and stronger.
He could feel every single one of your thoughts and feelings across the ship.
The thought of leaving you here in your quarters was making him uncomfortable. It felt wrong because he knew there was no way for him to help without intruding further.
He paced back and forth as he felt your anger spiking.
“You might as well come in,” You replied taking a sip of your wine. 
Kylo's heart rate quickened as he heard your voice. He took a step towards the door, stopping himself before he could cross into the room. 
Instead, he spoke loudly from the other side of the door.
"What are you doing?"
His tone was still in its usual low and husky nature, but there was a hint of curiosity mixed with concern.
With a hiss, the door opened and he entered smelling the incense of sandalwood lingering in the air.
Your room was dimly lit as you hated the bright white cold lights of the Finalizer. You took a drink as I heard Kylos familiar footsteps enter and the door closing shut. 
“Getting drunk,” You bluntly spoke, “What are you doing here?? Surely there are more war prisoners for you to torture??” 
Kylo felt your words and how you spoke them to be a slight jab at him. He wanted to snap back at you but managed to contain himself. He stayed silent for a few seconds as he tried to think of another reason to have come to your room other than just checking up on you. But for once he fell silent.
Your eyebrows rose as you took a seat in your leather chair across from him, “Oh Gods…have you lost your voice??”
 A chuckle escaped you as you carefreely leaned back into the chair. You were already feeling the slight haze in your mind and the warmth in your chest. Kylo's expression slightly tightened at the sound of your laughs. His silence remained, and he took another step into your room. 
His eyes scanned your body, the way it relaxed in that chair with a bottle of wine in your hand. There was a small bit of frustration he felt as he continued to stare at you, as he watched you further lower yourself into the haze. 
"Stop,"  He finally spoke, his voice still in its usual low and husky tone. 
“You know this is my quarters, which means I have power here,” You stated, “And no, I won’t stop.”
You didn’t bother to understand why he was here. Everywhere you went, he was always there not too far behind. Even in moments like this. It drove you insane, like a shadow you couldn’t shake.
"You're going to get drunk," Kylo's response was short and blunt as he took another step towards you. 
“That’s the point Kylo,” You mumbled as you reached for your wine glass getting another drink, “Why are you here?” 
"I'm trying to stop you from getting drunk-" 
Kylo stopped as he realized just how much he was like a parent at that moment. It made him stop for a few moments as he tried to find another reason to be in your quarters, but he couldn't find one other than the original he had. 
He stayed silent for a few moments as he tried to think of anything to say before he spoke again.
"May I?"
You waved your hand motioning to the wine bottle, “By all means. It’s better than your little taste test of me.” 
As much as you wanted to forget you couldn’t.  The forceful way he placed his hand down your trousers. How his fingers entered your wet folds to coat his fingers. It was like a drug to him almost, the taste of your sex and the scent. He kept his index finger pointed vertically up the cheek and his middle finger brushed against his nose to inhale that scent.
“I don’t even know why I let you do it,” You stated quietly as he took a glass out for himself.
"I wouldn't call that a taste test, more of a", Kylo’s voice drifted as he came back towards you.
Your words struck a chord within him as he noticed the way your eyes narrowed, and your body tensed slightly as you spoke. 
He decided not to continue with his comment, it was trouble enough that he was here alone with you. 
Kylo poured himself a glass of wine from the bottle on your desk, as he then sat down across you in the other chair.
“Oh???” You challenged him with a hint of annoyance in your voice, “Go on say it. I’m curious to hear what you have to say Kylo.”
His eyebrow rose as he noticed the way you were staring at him. It was almost like a stare-down, but he knew he had already lost.
 "What do you want me to say? That I enjoyed it?" He retorted before taking a drink of his wine.
There was a small bit of curiosity mixed with a bit of boldness in his tone. 
“Did you??” You asked in a low hushed voice.
Kylo's entire body frame seized. 
You decided you wanted to hurt him now. You wanted to break him as much as he did you. And in that moment of his weakness, you knew how.
“Did it feel good to taste me? To taste that forbidden fruit? To smell me on your fingers?” 
His eyes remained locked on yours as he sat across from you, as he felt his body tense and his heart rate quicken. You had never spoken to him like this...in such a sensual and provocative way.
"Yes," he spoke simply as his voice turned into a whisper, "Yes it did..."
He would not lie to you or hide any of the feelings about that moment from you, and he was prepared for whatever reaction that you would have. 
A cruel laugh emerged from your lips as the drunkenness as well as this newfound power over Kylo sparked something in you. 
“You’re the worst you know that,” You spoke with a cruel smile.
 Kylo’s eyes didn’t stop following you as you walked over towards him. With newfound anger and lust, you weren’t sure how to differentiate the two anymore, you grabbed his neck slightly applying pressure to him. 
 “You still want that taste?” You asked him seeing his eyes stare back at you with a sort of lovesick gaze. 
"Yes,” Kylo whispered out as you held his neck. His eyes shifted over to your fingers as you applied pressure to him. 
His eyes closed and he bit down on his lower lip as he let out a moan, "More than I could ever say..."
You with the force, grabbed him and shoved him into the wall knocking him to his knees. His breathing became hard and heavy as he was looking at you in a mix of lust and fear. You pulled his collar down to your height as you kissed him deeply with feverish anger. You pinned his arms back against the wall as you invaded his mouth mercilessly. The feeling of your lips pressing against his was driving his heart rate through the roof. A whimper escaped his throat as you broke apart from him sucking in a breath. His pink flushed lips parted slightly as he tried to lick your lips back into his kiss. 
“Beg me to stop,” You repeated to him just as he did with you. 
The way you spoke to him... The way you demanded him...
Oh, how he loved it...
"Please..." He whined to say between gasps as he tried to catch his breath.
The mix of wine and the power you exhumed over him sent your senses afire. Kylo’s whimpering and moans filled your ears as you used more force. You released him from your grip and forced him to kneel with a slight wave of your hand. A strained groan escaped him as he realized you were more powerful than you had been. 
“P-please, I need it, I need you,” Kylo's tone was in a whine as he was stunned by your power, “I don’t care how pathetic I sound! I need you to use me!!”
His eyes were suddenly becoming glossy, almost tearful as his face was now pink and flushed. 
Gods he must’ve dreamt about this You mused to yourself as he was now looking up at you. 
You kept your eyes on him as your hands went to the waistband of your trousers. Kylo’s eyes shifted to your waist as your hands reached the zipper. It was a look of pure hunger in his eyes.
You took off your trousers exposing yourself fully to him. His lips parted slightly as his face was pink, his eyes eager and his mouth ready to please.
This was a different kind of power trip now. And You wanted to fully use it.
You moved in front of him and took a handful of his raven hair pushing his face into your pussy. A ‘Mmphf!’ whimper escaped Kylo’s throat, vibrating it into your core. 
You could feel him whining in pleasure as his mouth kissed your folds. His tongue flattened out as he moved it delicately between your lower lips. 
“Y-you wanted this,” You stifled back a moan feeling his wet kisses and tongue glide into your hot wet slit. 
The sight before him made his heart race even faster, which was a surprise considering how quickly it was already going. He was trembling as he buried his face in you. The moans and whimpers he let out added to the pleasure it brought you. 
Kylo's hands groped at your hips as he begged you to keep him there. He wasn't going to deny your last comment, he did want this, no matter the source and motivation for wanting it.
“I do,” he whimpered between each suck, “Me being down here, while you’re up there. ”
His lips pressed against your folds, and the sounds that were now escaping his throat were not of protest, but pure ecstasy. He didn't want this to stop. He wanted more. 
“I-I can’t believe I’m letting you do this,” You moaned as you began to palm your own breast keeping your other hand firmly on his head. 
 Your slight chuckle escaped your lips that turned into a heated pant. Your eyes fluttered open to glance down seeing his eyes slightly water with tears. His pale skin was now a flushed pink hue as he looked up with desperation.  His tongue moved with ravenous hunger making you feel a shortness of breath.
“G-gods Kylo,” You whimpered feeling his tongue move deeper, “I bet you dreamed of this..”
His eyes stared back up at you as tears fell them, you were in control of this entire situation, and him. And you knew exactly what he wanted. 
"I-I did,” Kylo breathed deeply savoring the full taste of you. 
You sighed in pleasure and slightly pulled his head away stopping him from continuing.
A whine erupted from him as you pulled his head away, carrying a slight strain of your cum on his lips. His lips were wet as was his chin, he looked beautiful.
“Do you.do you love me?” You asked him feeling the buzz of his pleasure from his mouth the buzz of the wine in your system. 
Kylo stared back at you as he blinked the tears he was trying to keep suppressed away. He then gazed back at you with a look filled with love. 
"Yes,” he softly admitted through a few tears, “I love you..."
A faint smile came upon your face and pulled his face back against your pussy once more making Kylo muffle his moan. The moment your hand returned to his back again, his lips started working hard again. Your tossed head back as a groan of pleasure came out. 
“K-keep going,” You heatedly whispered as his tongue moved around, slowly exploring every inch of the wet center. 
His hands kept groping at your hips as he pushed them up, urging you to move even further onto him. 
A gasp escaped you as you felt his face burying deeper. His nose brushed against your clit stimulating you even more. That wave of pleasure was increasing, building deep within you.
“G-gods Kylo,” You groaned feeling your climax bearing down on you. 
 You looked down seeing his tear-stained eyes staring up at you in admiration and lovesick. You sucked in a breath as your felt my chest seize and core tightened against his fingers moved in and out at a quick pace. 
“Give it to me Y/N p-please,” he begged, his hot breath grazing against your bundle of nerves, “Give. It. To. Me.” You were struggling for breath as you felt his mouth encase your pussy once again. His mouth was moving mercilessly against you as his fingers pumped into you. That sweet pressure between your legs was climbing further and further as Kylo’s tongue entered you. Your eyes shot open as you felt your body begging for release. Your hips began to buck into Kylo’s face as he muffled his moans into your folds, that beautiful sound of your wetness on his lips was music to him. He could feel your wetness on his face and chin and the wonderful tenseness of your arousal swelling against his mouth. 
“D-damn it,” You panted feeling him move faster feeling every muscle in your being grow tighter and tighter.
 Your climax suddenly ripped into you causing me to jolt forward into Kylo’s mouth. Your eyes shut tighter as you felt a sudden gush leave you in a loud guttural moan. Your hand firmly rested on his raven locks intertwining them in your fingers. 
“Please!Please! Please!”, his words were a mix of both moans and gasps as he felt you tighten around his fingers, his mouth parted as he saw and heard your wetness gliding out of you. 
Kylo whimpered once again as he felt you release on his face, as your essence dribbled down your legs and onto his mouth. He was drinking up everything that you were releasing, as he heard your panting and the soft grunts he was making himself, it was a pleasure he had craved for a long time now.  As you gathered your bearings and looked down at him. His face was completely dampened now with a mix of your own cum and squirt. He lapped at your clit once more savoring your shaken breathing and taste.
“You’re so pretty when you cry,” You spoke as your hand went to cup his pink cheeks.
Kylo’s head tilted backward as he moaned softly at your words and touch. He was in a state of complete bliss as he felt your wetness spread from his mouth down his jawline and neck. It became clear at that moment you had marked him with your scent, and he relished it.
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holdmytesseract · 5 months ago
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Campfire Sleepover
a/n: Welcome to the Campfire Sleepover masterlist! What a wonderful 2k follower celebration it was! I know it took me some time to get everything done, but I absolutely loved it! Thanks to everyone who was a part of this and, of course, to all my followers! This blog wouldn't be the same without you! 🤍
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☆ Drabble/Blurb Masterlist ☆
☆ Loki
Touchy
Labyrinth of Thoughts
☆ BabyFever!Loki
The Best Big Sister
Little Dancing Queen
Caring Husband and Father
☆ Magnus Martinsson
Perfectly Bad Timing
Unfixable
☆ Tom Hiddleston
Examination Stress
Lost Love
Nothing Less Than A Goddess
Hard To Say Goodbye
☆ Daryl Dixon
Movie Night
Life and Death
☆ Kylo Ren
Torn Apart
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hannibals-favourite-meal · 1 year ago
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Kylo Ren x plus size reader
The Supreme Leader had granted his padawan one vice, one thing he could take pleasure from, one thing that was only his. He could have picked spice or hooch, but the troubled Sith chose her.
Series Warnings: reader was kidnapped and manipulated into being a pleasure slave, tagged dub con to be safe, little bit of non con, smut, d/s dynamics, angst, fluff, blood, each chapter has their own warnings as well
WC: 13k
Minors DNI
‧₊˚His Pick‧₊˚
‧₊˚His First Hit‧₊˚
‧₊˚His High‧₊˚
‧₊˚His Addiction‧₊˚
‧₊˚His Weakness‧₊˚
‧₊˚His Greatest Strength‧₊˚
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raisedbythetv89 · 8 months ago
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I just started watching White Collar for the first time and a realization about most male written and directed media smacked me DIRECTLY in the face which is that SO MUCH media written by a for men is genuinely just male nerd self insert, non-canon compliant, AU fan fiction??????
Like them writing and creating stories is just “ok so these guys are soooo smooth and well dressed and women just flock to them at every turn and they can get away with anything and everyone believes and supports them when they do mess up and everyone thinks they’re sooooo brilliant”
This media isn’t just portraying women “for the male gaze” it’s EVERYTHING. Everything in these stories is supporting and uplifting mens’ delusions about who they are, how they’re perceived, and how they should expect to be treated. Which is incredibly ironic because anytime media portrays women or the world in the female gaze in a more “in my ideal world things would be like this” instead of portraying us as nothing but weak, broken, unloved, traumatized, victims OR one dimensional sex symbols with no needs or emotions they’re screaming, crying, throwing up about how stupid and unrealistic the story is….
This explains SO MUCH about how male characters are handled in shows like Veronica Mars and Buffy. Even though they’re shows staring women all the “good guys” get the delusional self insert, y/n, AU fan fic treatment (Buffy still wants Angel in season 3 and Riley in season 6 even after everything they did and Xander is CONSTANTLY forgiven for all the atrocious shit he says and does and is wanted by all women besides Buffy. Veronica forgiving Duncan and getting back together with him and even CONSIDERING Piz could truly only be born from men being delusional AS FUCK. Writing how they want men to be treated by women rather than being based in reality and the woman having even an ounce of self respect.)
Which is why the “bad boys”, Logan and Spike are such better characters. They’re so much more realistic, they get held accountable by the women in their lives, have better growth and are just way more appealing and attractive because they’re not the walking embodiment of what MEN want men to be treated and act like.
Oh god this feels like such cursed knowledge to have like it’s important to see this media for what it really is but now watching it feels that much yuckier like finding the porn of someone you DO NOT LIKE but like their emotional porn “this is what life would be like in my fantasies” and they’re the fantasies of the grossest men alive 😭😭😭😭😭
Also it shows their emotional maturity like all of these things are what 13 year old boys fantasize about not actual mature, grown men….
Also just realized this is why the Star Wars sequels were so hated. It wasn’t just Rey being powerful and loved by her found family and Kylo. It was that the movies showed the reality of men like Kylo. They destroyed the male fantasy Darth Vader created. They aren’t super cool, powerful badasses. They’re extremely sad, broken, temper tantrum throwing lost little boys who just want love and acceptance but have lost the ability to accept it because of the dark side (aka the patriarchy) which is the reality and that made me SOOOOO ANGRY lololololololol and this is why Joss Whedon THOUGHT making Spike into a sad pathetic mama’s boy of a poet would make the audience not like him because that DOES work on misogynistic men who enjoy the male gaze but does NOT work and only humanizes and makes Spike even more complex and lovable to the female gaze 💀💀💀💀 oh good lord
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lucky-clover-gazette · 4 months ago
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save me highly competent but simultaneously pathetic androgynous man with a god complex and nice hair
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gloomwitchwrites · 10 days ago
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Desolate
Kylo Ren x Female Reader
Content & Warnings: survival horror, chases, brief description of injury, psychological horror, force sensitive!reader
Word Count: 1k
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A/N: Requested by @id-get-sleazy-for-ron-weasley for 3.5k Spooky Bingo (Liminal Spaces)
You awaken to a menacing presence aboard the starship you travel on. The crew is missing. The ship is empty. But you are not alone in the dark of space.
ao3 // taglist // main masterlist // 3.5k spooky bingo masterlist
It is fetid silence that wakes you.
Even in sleep, the Force is always there, a constant companion. But there is something foul afoot, a strangeness that slips in and dulls your senses.
You awaken to darkness and the emergency light above the door. It is on, glowing a deep bloodied red that only adds to the itching rot that sits beneath your skin.
You want to scratch--to claw like you can peel away the flesh to reveal the disturbance underneath. It's not cold or hot but an irritating nag that you want to slap aside.
Pushing up to a seated position, you press into the Force and find...nothing.
Nothing.
It is empty. Desolate.
You've never felt absence before.
Approaching the door, you press the button on the panel and step out into the hall. All the lights are off except for the red emergency lights. They don't blink or pulse, and no alarm blares. It's completely silent, as if you're suspended in a singular second of time.
Closing your eyes, you push out into the Force again. Again, you feel nothing, and then--
Sharpness. Darkness. Anger. So much of it.
Like a boulder down a mountain, it crashes into you, entering through your nose and mouth to wrap around your brain and squeeze. You choke, gag, and are pushed out of the Force as if you've been slapped.
You stagger, one hand pressed against the cool metal wall as you attempt to steady yourself.
Something is coming. Lurking.
It does not hide. It does not wait.
It is coming. Running.
The ship is empty. The ship is empty, but you are not alone.
You are not by yourself.
Instinct rises, and you take off, rushing toward the escape pods. Whoever or whatever lurks on this vessel with you is hunting. They are the predator, and you the final prey. There is no one else.
You move as quickly and as silently as you can. Your stalker is there, a quiet caress like breathing against the back of your neck. You do not see them, but they are here aboard this ship.
The entire trip to the escape pods is uninterrupted. The corridors are clear and unobstructed as if everyone on board was whisked away without disturbing the environment. There are no bloodstains or blaster burns. Nothing to indicate that something awful happened here.
And yet, you feel nothing. 
Everyone is gone. Everyone--
The doors to the escape pods open, revealing the massacre. Your heart stops and drops into your stomach. Shock blooms, followed by dread, and a great sadness that turns your veins cold.
They are all gone. Broken. Shattered. In pieces.
Some of the crew fell with their arms outstretched, fingers scratching at the control panels in one last attempt toward freedom. But there is no freedom. No escape.
The lights above the escape pod docks are not green but red. Each one is empty. Each one is gone. Did anyone escape? Did anyone survive?
Will you survive? Will you escape this place?
Step back and out into the hall, the door slides shut with a muted whoosh. You linger in the blood-red glow of the emergency lights, in the long corridors that seem to stretch on endlessly and turn the corners into shadows.
The only other choice is to head to the helm, to take control of the ship and figure out what might be wrong.
That is where you go. That is where you walk. But every time you turn a corner, you only find another corridor, another hallway, and an endless number of doors. None of them open or budge.
An endless loop of walking, turning a corner, trying a door panel. Fear creeps in, biting around in your chest until it feels like it'll explode from you like parasitic larva.
A fever dream. It must be. You are sick and this is all in your head.
You continue on, walking and turning and trying every door. Again. Again. Again.
There are tears in your eyes. They stain and sting your cheeks. You are desperate now. Hungry. Throat dry and senses spiraling.
Jedi. 
You hear it in your head. A whisper.
Jedi.
Glancing over your shoulder, you see a figure all in black lurking at the end of the hall. A helmet. A mask. A black cape.
Jedi.
The word is strange. Someone once called you that, but you didn't think much of it. The Force has always been there, wrapped around you in a comforting embrace. But this stranger speaks it as if they know you.
You reach out through it and meet a wall of anger. It is roiling. Tumultuous. You sense a desire to claim, to seize control, and make you submit. Bending the knee or spreading your legs makes no difference. The dominating demeanor of this stranger leaves no room for interpretation.
They intend to catch you. That is why they are here.
Jedi.
No. You will not go. Not willingly.
Without guessing who this might be, you take off. If you can find the mess hall, you'll find a map of the ship. You can form a plan. You can crawl through the ductwork. Anything.
As you charge around a corner, your hunter appears at the other end. You slide to a stop, backtrack, only to find them at the other end. Is this an illusion? Are they playing a trick?
You decide to push it aside, to not allow your mind to question. Moving on is the best bet. Finding the helm and seizing control is the only option.
Turning around, you carry on, finding more endlessness until you don't. Until the double doors of the helm stand before you, appearing suddenly and without you having to look.
Surely, this must be a dream. What else could it be?
As you approach, the doors open, and there is your stranger. Their back is to you, but as they shift to gaze behind them, you glimpse your first clear view. You know that helmet. You've seen him before.
This is the First Order's favorite son. There is no escape. There never was.
"Kylo Ren," you whisper.
taglist:
@glassgulls @childofyuggoth @coffeecaketornado @foxxy-126 @km-ffluv
@sweetbutpsychobutsweet @singleteapot @tiredmetalenthusiast @miaraei @cherryofdeath
@ferns-fics @tulipsun-flower @ninman82 @beebeechaos @no-oneelsebutnsu
@whisperwispxx @weasleytwins-41 @enfppuff @padawancat97 @garfunklevibes2012
@pigeonmama @nomercyforthewarrior
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enviedear · 1 year ago
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nervous neighbor ⟶ ben solo
description ⌙ you're back at home from university, living with your parents for the summer because it's cheaper than trying to pay for an apartment while on a student's salary. but after you meet the new neighbor's son, ben solo, you're not so sure it's worth it.
pairing ⌙ neighbor!ben solo x f!reader
warnings ⌙ inebriated reader & ben, they're smoking weed and being petty together, mean!ben because when do i not make him a bit mean, ben jokingly attempts to solicit reader, reader has a blatant sort of fascination with ben, ben has severe blatant yearning for reader, reader is described to need a belt to wear ben's pants (don't question me it comes up), some high kisses (they're so fun oops), somewhat getting caught, tiny little bitty cliffhanger, ben's personality is totally based off this brent faiyaz song lmao
word count ⌙ 3.5k
— request (frl especially for ben/kylo) | masterlist
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i love the idea of neighbor!ben so ofc i had to put my thoughts into a little fic! if anyone is interested... i wouldn't be mad at making this a series. i love neighbor!ben!
the sun is low in the sky, casting a warm and appreciated golden glow on the world around you. you revel in the sanctity of the suburban environment as you step outside your front door. the rays burn into your exposed shoulders, spaghetti straps lightly digging into the skin.
the fragrant scent of freshly cut grass hangs heavy in the air, leaving an earthy flavor in your mouth. you pull at the hem of your shorts, feeling the soft fabric brush against your exposed thighs as you make your way to the black mailbox straight ahead.
you flip through bills and junk mail, all in your parent's name for a minute before you hear the unmistakable rev of a car engine approaching. the engine seems to purr the closer it gets, and you're all too familiar with the sound. you feel glued to your spot as it approaches.
soon enough, ben solo's sleek aston martin swerves into his driveway, coming to a stop just a few feet away from his closed garage door. you watch as he gets out of the car, his dark hair falling messily over his forehead, and meets your gaze with his severe brown eyes.
there’s something about the way he looks at you that causes your heart to race. the sensation is unwanted or, at least, you tell yourself it is.
he looks like he always does; clad in dress pants and a pristine button-up, face etched with subtle haughtiness, and pink lips curved into a deliciously heretical grin. the previous sanctity you felt dissipates as his stare beats down on you, hotter and more all-consuming than the sun above.
"neighbor." he anoints, a slight smirk playing on his lips. "how much allowance are mommy and daddy giving you for checking their mail?"
"very funny," you retort, eyes rolling, "maybe they're drawing from the same funds your parents did when they bought you that ridiculous car."
you liked playing this game with ben. where he attempts to seem as if he's got something over you, some unspoken win. as if you're not both twenty-somethings still living with your parents.
he does have an actual retirement plan type job though, so, perhaps, he has you beat in some areas.
he works full-time, a fact you learned after dinner with your parents and his. brought up by your parents so they could dote on him— effectively buttering up han and leia further. the ass-kissing earned the family privileges to their in-ground pool though.
he's pretty prestigious, unfortunately. ben organa-solo, the youngest associate at his legal firm. he apparently had over forty offers of employment before he ever even looked at the bar exam.
he's doing well, sure— but the sheer fact that he still lives with his parents is enough to quell your nuanced jealousy. somewhat.
"my db-nine can never be called ridiculous. do you know the specs on this car?" he taunts, opting to lean against his aforementioned car.
you begin to turn away from him, not willing to go into a conversation regarding his stupidly expensive automobile. you can feel your ears warming as you try to ignore him, but ben is relentless, as usual, "you know, you really should relax a little, i'm only joking, kid.."
"excuse me?" you snap, fronting him again and crossing your arms defensively, "i am plenty relaxed, solo. thank you very much."
in truth, you haven't been relaxed or even casual since the organa-solo's moved in eight months ago. wealthy and recently retired, leia and han are amusing, charming, and almost constantly travelling.
the pair managed to befriend your parents the second they moved in. bringing over a plate of brownies, the duo easily meshed with your parents, making for countless dinners, conversations, and visits between the two homes.
the opposite can be said for ben and you. when you finally met him, a few weeks after his parents moved in, it was because he was yelling at your dog for 'purposely' pissing on one of his tires. since then, you haven't exactly seen eye to eye.
"mhm, of course," he drawls sarcastically, "that's why you're always so wound up,” he’s smirking now, "you ever thought about smoking a joint or something? might help you chill out."
"really?" you scoff, raising an eyebrow, "that's your solution? drugs?" you choose to ignore his quip about you being tightly wound. as if he's not— you've seen him after work, he always looks tense, shoulders tight. at the recollection of his job title makes you almost comment on his choice of illegal activity, but you stop yourself.
maybe this was his vice after hours of listening to legal jargon?
"i'm just offering a suggestion. i've got pot and an empty house." his voice is biting, holding his hands up defensively, "take it or leave it, kid."
your mind is wrought with confusion over his words. in the few months you’ve known him, you would have never thought he’d be suggesting what he is.
ben solo, who drives an aston martin, only wears button-ups or suits, and is always willing to make you look or feel idiotic, is trying to convince you to smoke pot with him.
you worry for a brief second if you’re deluded.
you would have never suspected the famed judiciary to unwind in such a way.
no, your first guess would have been whiskey, or maybe something a bit more scandalized and indecent. you try to shake that idea out of your head.
"fine," you blurt it out before you can stop yourself, surprising both you and the arrogant figure in front of you.
"seriously?" ben questions, his eyes widening in apprehension. "you're actually going to do it?"
"yeah, solo," you shrug, drawing out the first word, trying to sound more resolved than you feel, "nothing i haven’t done before."
"okay, cheech," he mutters, grinning wickedly, "let me smoke you out."
you follow him into his house, heart pounding in your chest. you're familiar with the layout— almost identical to your own home, only nicer. everything is nicer.
the air inside is cool and smells faintly of lavender, mixed with something decadent you can’t quite place. glancing around the space, you take it all in. it feels different now that you're alone with ben. less homey and more belly of the beast.
there are windows everywhere, letting in an abundance of natural light despite the evident tint. the furniture is modern and obviously hand-picked though comfortable and no doubt, expensive.
you try to make yourself cozy on the couch, tucking your legs underneath you. ben disappears for a moment and returns with a tray, a red grinder, a lighter, and a baggie of green herbs.
your hands go clammy as you watch him grind it down. you try to wipe them on your pants, hoping he doesn’t notice.
he doesn’t seem to, instead beginning to roll a joint, packing the herb down with his thumb. his movements, precise and hypnotic. he's defiling all previous conclusions you had of him. he’s sure, magnetic, and undeniably confusing.
“ready?” he asks, holding the rolled paper out to you. you nod, and he lights up the twisted end, inhaling deeply before passing it over to you.
you place the joint to your lips, feeling the warmth of the light spark grazing your fingers. the earthy plant kindles with a soft crackle, and you inhale deeply. smoke fills your lungs, coiling inside you.
the cloudy smoke immediately hits your entire sinus system, choking you on its descent down.
you cough and ben laughs, “shit, take it slow, kid.” he huffs, before handing you a tepid water bottle, no question he figured you'd wind up coughing a lung.
you drink gratefully, feeling the water cleanse your burning throat. you look at ben, who’s watching you intently.
your eyes are watery and slightly hazy, but ben has never look better. eyes red and low, posture easy with one arm behind his head, and faint pink flush.
“what?” you ask, self-conscious. the room seems to swirl around as ben sits beside you, close enough that you can feel the heat of his body.
"nothing, neighbor," his stare is mocking, "do you feel relaxed yet?" he asks with a smirk.
you give him a meager thumbs-up, suddenly lightheaded and giggly. your thoughts are wondering to ben's pretty lips, but your mouth remains whetted and silent. adorning thoughts remaining within your capricious mind.
the tension in your body melts away, and you lean back against the couch cushions, letting out a deep sigh. ben's hand brushes against yours to steal the joint away, and you feel the heat of his touch all the way to your toes. it's as if the world has narrowed down to just the two of you, and nothing else exists.
“are you cold?” he asks, taking a drag, dress shirt sleeves rolled up, leaving his arms on full display.
you look at him, bewildered for a second, and he continues with an eye roll, “you’re shivering.”
looking down at your body, you note that you indeed are. either from the weed or the proximity you have to your novel neighbor.
with a gentle breath, you reply, “i guess.”
he holds the joint with his lips as he stands to look down at you, “c’mon i’ve got blankets in my room.”
you look up at him, unsure of what to say, but find yourself bobbing in agreement. you follow him upstairs, the both of you languid in reaching the destination. when you do finally get to his room, you note the array of muted jewel tones and dim light, different than the rest of the house.
ben keeps his blinds partially closed and curtains that mostly fall in front of them. his bed is huge, pristine white sheets and an inviting navy bedspread.
you watch as he pulls out a thick woolen blanket from his closet and spreads it over your shoulders. you feel the weight of it settle over you, cocooning you in warmth.
"better?" he asks, voice low.
you nod again, feeling the hazy ardor of the drug swimming through your body. everything feels fuzzy, and for the first time you don't feel so out of place with ben.
he takes a seat beside you on his all too comfortable bed, the aroma of his pomelo-scented cologne filling your senses. you discern it's probably dangerous in some way to be alone with ben like this, but you can't seem to bring yourself to care or reason why.
you let yourself peer into his large and expansive open closet. clothes, mostly suits and dress shirts, hang neatly on identical black hangars. he's tidy. the fact feels unmistakable, and you think you should already know just by the way he carries himself.
ben's voice interrupts your absent mind, "anything you like?"
you look back at him, leaning up against the headboard of his bed, joint billowing smoke from its rested position in his fingers. he looks less severe like this, less perfect, more mortal.
you're certain the drug has taken effect now because when you move to get closer to him, it feels as if you're floating.
you take the joint from him, stealing another hit before replying, "you just have a lot of suits. i wonder if you own anything besides them. i've never seen you in anything but."
"is this one of your long-winded jokes?" he briefly closes his eyes, but you can see them roll through his lids, "because if so, i'll kick you out. i won't hesitate to send you back to your house, neighbor."
snorting, you take yet another hit of the joint, "i did see something i liked, actually." you confess, your drugged mind deciding to be just a bit genuine.
he hums, "really? i've never seen you in a suit, or anything formal."
the sentence sounds stupid coming out of ben's mouth, but you chalk it up to his tipsy state, "maybe you will. one day."
your reply sounds equally as dumb, but you feel good, and you're actually having a conversation with ben. one that doesn't involve him undermining you or snickering at what you're saying.
"really? wanna try mine on? for practice." ben is smirking, eyes narrow, searing, and bloodshot.
you give him a ditzy look, joint still dangling from your fingers, "whatever, solo."
ben lets out a genuine giggle at that, and in your inebriated state, you smile at the sound. his dimples are on full display as he leans further into his cushioned headboard, eyes glazed and focused purely at you, "i'll pay, if you do."
his face is gentle, almost winsome, but the words that tumble out of his mouth sound murky— riddled with a slight hint of hunger. for what exactly? you're not sure.
your lips contort into a frown before you reply, "you'll pay me to put on your clothes? god, ben how much did you smoke?"
you mean for your words to come off as a joke, easy and light. instead, it comes out as timid and shy. you'd normally feel a tinge of embarrassment but either the drug or ben's starved stare makes the would-be feeling detach from your mind.
"enough." he shrugs, answering your rhetorical question, "i've got five hundred in my wallet right now," he pauses, leaning over to you and grabbing the joint, fingers brushing against yours, "and i want a show."
your mind seems to blank for a second, leaving you to blink your dry, red eyes in front of him. when the small wave of shock subdues, you reply, "i don't know how to give you a show."
ben shakes his head slightly, his eyes still set on yours, “yeah you do. swear it's not hard, kid.”
“says you,” you giggle, “but i’ll try on your clothes. for the money.”
he breathes in, contented, “for the money.”
without much more thought, you rise from his plush bed and make way for the closet. it's big enough to be another room, a stark contrast from your own closet, and it smells of his citrusy cologne merged with the lavender scent throughout the home. you find it comforting.
you look back over your shoulder, ben's watching you intently from his seated position, "what should i start with, solo?"
he hums before replying, "your pick, neighbor. what's mine is yours."
you can't help the dorky smile that graces your lips at his sentiment, even though you know he's being flippant. you hastily turn away from him, hiding your weak-willed reaction.
taking a deep breath, you begin to rummage through his wardrobe. your fingers brush against the luxurious fabric of his suits before settling on a satin black button-up that looks silky smooth to the touch.
you grab it and turn around to face ben, who's now standing and walking towards you, his eyes fixed on the shirt in your hand.
"that's a good choice," he says, his voice low and husky, "you'll look better in it than i do."
you roll your eyes at his comment but can't help the warmth that shoots through your body at his words. you quickly slip it over your cropped tank, eager to see it on.
as you're buttoning it up, you feel his swarthy eyes on you, watching your every move. you can't help but feel giddy with his ardent gaze and your own euphoric state of mind.
as you finish up the last button, you catch a glimpse of yourself in the ornate mirror hung upon one of the closet walls. you look decadent in his pompous shirt.
the feeling of contentment that washes over you is startling.
it's a beautiful cut of fabric, but it's the way it represents the achieved man behind you that has you stalling. you notice ben's breath hitch as he takes in the sight of you.
"i was right. it looks much better on you." he says, his voice rough.
you grin at him, feeling a newfound confidence wash over you, "is that right, solo?" you question, your demeanor one of leisure.
without warning, ben steps forward, right hand coming to rest on your shoulder as he leans down to you, "here," he says, his breath hot against your ear, "you missed the first button."
his fingers dance at your chest, fastening the skipped button. you fight a smile at the act, keening at his rash action. high ben is certainly less sardonic than sober ben, finding a nice middle ground at graceful teasing.
"you pick the pants, and grab a belt so that they'll fit." you smile.
he hums, pulling away and trifling through his clothes. his nimble fingers card through various pairs of slacks, settling on a matching black pair.
he turns on his heels, facing you. he raises his brows, a silent request for you to take the pants. when you do, his hands begin to fumble with his belt.
your eyebrows scrunch in confusion, "what are you doing?"
"i want you to wear this one. just let me play dress up with you, doll." his black locks are falling into his eyes.
you huff out a weak chuckle, focused on his action and new endearment. when the belts slides away from him, you notice the way his slacks droop slightly.
with a curt and nervous smile, you slide up the dark pants, fitting his belt around your hips afterward.
you study yourself in the mirror, opting to tuck the shirt into the pants messily— an attempt to somewhat display your waist.
ben comes up behind you, hands resting on your shoulders, humming into the top of your head, "i quite like you this way. ever thought about getting an office job for me?"
you give him a sarcastic pout, "for you?"
he smiles, canines showing, "yeah, doll, just for me."
you're dizzy at his words, "yeah, then who'd watch my parent's house all day? it's a full-time job being a stay-at-home daughter, you know."
ben groans a bit at your words, "that makes you sound like a little brat, you know." he drawls out the last two words, mocking.
you smirk, facing him now, lips becoming level with his when he leans down to stare into your eyes, "my mom calls me a brat sometimes. she says i'm never going to find someone acting like one," you pause for a beat, "d'you agree, ben?"
at the emphasis of his first name he sighs and lets his hands fall to your waist, "i agree that you're a fuckin' brat," he cranes his head closer, breath brushing against your lips, "but i don't think i mind very much."
your eyes flutter against your better judgment, and ben takes an evident note of the fact. his hands tighten at your waist, fingers digging in possessively. you feel a beat of caution before it flies away from your resolution. you press forward just as he does the same, lips meeting in a slow, heady, absolutely exalting kiss.
ben's fingers dig into you, timidly pulling you further into him. you crumble at his touch, hands fisting into his hair as he deepens the kiss further. he tastes of sweet honey and sunlight that fills you with warmth and affection.
you're both weakly fighting for more— an incessant craving for each other that quickly overtakes your common sense. the looming man continues to cast an unbreakable spell with each aching kiss as his gentle hands caress every inch of exposed skin on your body.
you let his hands fumble with the buttons of the borrowed shirt, slowly slipping it away from you. it brushes past your shoulders, and ben breaks the hungry kisses to trail sloppy ones on your exposed neck.
you're lost in the feeling of him— all-consuming. neither one of you willing to be pulled back to reality— but eventually you both have to break away from one another with heavy breaths and flushed cheeks. ben looks down at you with an amused grin on his face before planting a chaste kiss on the top of your head.
you hum and he mutters against you, "you like that? hm?"
"duh," you steal a glance up, "feels s'nice." there's a stupid grin stuck to your face.
"you taste so good, doll," he places a teasing kiss at the dip at the bottom of your neck, "and your lips are so fucking soft."
you give him a questioning look, lips upturned, "really? sounds wild coming from the same man that just called me a brat."
he hums darkly, "you being a brat," he places another kiss to your exposed neck, "just makes this little game of ours more interesting," one of his hands lifts your chin, pulling you closer, "c'mere, kid."
his lips are back on yours, less languid and with much more fervor. you feel so full in his arms. divinely entangled in the coveted luxury of ben organa-solo.
suddenly, you hear commotion from downstairs, drugged mind abruptly anxious.
"what's that?" your voice is barely above a whisper.
ben growls, "fuck— i'm sorry doll, i think my parents are home." you catch the faint flush on his cheeks.
you bite your lip, concerned, "but... i'm high. and wearing your clothes."
ben is about to say something else when the deep baritone of han solo's voice booms from behind his closed bedroom door, "come on out, son. the neighbor's are over for dinner. their daughter should be here soon," han's voice drops a bit, "and try to ease up on the flirting this time, okay?"
you stifle an uninhibited giggle, earning a glare from ben.
"yeah, sure. just let me get out of my work clothes," he peers down at you, eyes wicked, "don't want them to think it's all i own."
your eyes widen at his subtle dig, and he seems to revel in your amusement.
han grumbles something back before leaving. your breathing is erratic for a good few seconds. ben's hands remain on you, gentle grin on his lips.
"you heard the man. dinner." his voice is low, and you fight the urge to pull him into another kiss. the thought of more than kissing weighing heavily on your stoned mind.
your reply knocks the smile off of his face, "how are you going to explain the fact i'm already with you and high off my ass?"
he groans, head falling into the crook of your neck, "shit."
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