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hayves1 · 15 hours ago
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Never lucky in love ★ P.SH
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synopsis : y/n was best friends with sunghoon since childhood but as they got older, she developed feelings towards him but he was into someone else already. When she found out he was moving away, she lied about something so he would stay and be with her instead.
pairing : sunghoon x fem!reader
warnings : reader us referred to as y/n, angst, y/n is kinda evil (but she realizes her mistakes) sobbing/crying, stuttering | let me know if i missed anything!
wc : 1868
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You sat at a table surrounded by your old friends from high school. You were tense as you refused to look at the person sitting in front of you. You didn’t want to be here at all. You felt awkward, uncomfortable, and guilty. There at the reunion party, sitting right in front of you was Sunghoon, your ex best friend sitting next to his fiancé.
You couldn’t get what happened so many years ago out of your head. It made you feel like the most horrible friend ever. Even after 7 years you still felt terrible for what you did. You looked down at your hands in your lap, fidgeting with your fingers. You were so nervous. ‘Does he still hate me?’ you thought.
————————————————————————
seven years ago.
You started to realize the feelings you developed for Sunghoon. You would get more shy around him than usual. You couldn’t be near him without your cheeks heating up and your heart being ten times faster. He was your best friend though…You weren’t sure yet of these feelings but one thing you were sure of is that there is absolutely no way he’d like you back.
Because he already liked someone else.
Words couldn’t describe the jealousy and hurt you felt every time you thought of the two of them. Always hanging out and being affectionate towards each other. You wished you were the one with Sunghoon.
You sat in your bedroom, writing random lyrics on your notebook. Well, at least you thought it was random. You were so in your head that you didn’t realize the lyrics you were writing were about him. Your best friend. The one you loved more than a friend.
You rested your palm on your chin as you read over the words on the paper. Sighing as you closed the notebook and putting it back in your drawer.
Suddenly you heard a knock on your bedroom door. ‘Who the hell?’ you thought. You got up, set your pencil on the desk and went to open the door. There stood your best friend
“What are you doing here? How did you even get in?” you asked him. “You’re mom let me in” you just responded with a simple ‘oh’ and opened the door wider, letting him into your room.
You sat back on your chair as Sunghoon stood in front of you. “I need to tell you something.” you raised an eyebrow. “Oh? Usually when you need to tell me something you text me. Is it serious?” he just nodded, kind of avoiding eye contact with you. “I’m moving in a few days” he finally said. You felt your heart drop. no, no he can’t leave, not now…
“What do you mean you're moving?” you asked, you stuttered nervously. It made you scared at the thought of him leaving forever. “I’m leaving” “What? Why?” you questioned him. you didn’t want him to leave “Not sure. My parents just said we're leaving soon.” you sat there, staring at your feet while Sunghoon just stood still, not even looking at you.
“I’ll miss you..” you suddenly blurted out. You wanted to tell him about your feelings for him but you just couldn’t. Instead you just told him you missed him. ‘God, I should’ve just told him’ you said in your head. “I’ll miss you too, y/n”
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It was days before Sunghoon was leaving and you decided to meet up with him to tell him something. “What happened?” he asked. “Well…I just wanted to let you know that Iseul really hurt me yesterday. I’m just telling you because I know you like her and that she’s coming with you and your parents so…” that was a complete lie. Iseul never physically hurt you, you just wanted him to stay with you and you only.
“What? What did she do to you?” he asked, a hint of worry in his voice. “She told me to never contact you again and she harshly pushed me after that and left” He widened his eyes. That was probably the first time you ever saw him look so worried. “Are you okay?” you just nodded as you tried your best to keep up the act “I won’t leave, okay? I’m going to stay here with you, y/n” “But what about your parents?” “I’ll convince them.”
You thought that this was great. You’d finally be with him forever…or so you thought.
————————————————————————
The next few days he was more protective over you. He always made sure you were okay and that you were comfortable. Over the past few days, the guilt started to overtake you. You reminded yourself that everything was fine and that he was finally with you now but the guilt inside you only grew.
“y/n, you okay?” Sunghoon asked you when he saw you sitting on the couch with a confused and sad expression. “Yeah, I'm okay. Don’t worry.” you smiled slightly at him.
————————————————————————
It was just a few hours before Sunghoon would be leaving when he found out you completely lied. You were caught in a huge fight with him. Gosh, you felt so angry at yourself. “So you lied to me? Made a lie about Iseul? What the hell is wrong with you y/n?!” He said, his voice getting slightly louder. “I’m sorry! I didn’t want you to leave! I-…I don’t know why I did it, Hoon. I’m sorry! I’m so sorry.”
He honestly couldn’t even believe this whole situation. Why did you lie? “I just didn’t want you to leave and be with Iseul. I’m sorry, okay?” He didn’t say anything and left as you tried to pull him back, the tears finally rolling down your face. “Wait! Sunghoon please! Just don’t leave…”
“I’m leaving with my parents” he coldly said “Hoon, please! Don’t go, I need you!” you shouted, tears covered your cheeks as you tried to pull him back. He yanked his arm away from you and left. You sat back on the couch as you buried your face in your palms and sobbed until no tears were left to cry.
————————————————————————
Ever since then, you regretted everything you did. You finally realized that you were wrong, it was just hard to face it. He left with his parents and Iseul and didn’t even text you, call you. It hurt. But you knew you had no right to feel that way, because you hurt him.
That’s what brings us to the present. You were at a high school reunion party, your plate full since you haven’t even touched it since you got there. You didn’t dare to look up at him since he was right across from you. Your friends would ask you if you are okay but you just brushed them off.
You wanted to just cry and run away but you couldn’t do that. Instead you stared at your hands, which weren’t really all that interesting as you were making them look like.
Meanwhile Sunghoon could only glance at you. He saw how you weren’t looking at anyone, especially him. It was definitely awkward since you two split up without any closure.
But can you blame him? He was lied to and had every right to leave back then. Suddenly someone called your name. That was when you finally lifted your head and turned towards the person who called you. It was one of your friends. “Yeah?” you said, your voice shaky. All eyes were on you now, everyone was looking at you. “I heard you write songs. Do you mind singing one of them?” you froze. You were too shy to sing in front of all your high school classmates.
“Uh sure..” was all you could say as you were way too nervous, you couldn’t even think.
And that’s how you found yourself singing in front of everyone. Everyone was watching you, admiring you, while all you could do was look at Sunghoon. You knew it was wrong. Not only because he has a fiancé, but because you hurt him.
————————————————————————
Hours pass and you’re now leaving, saying goodbye to your friends. You were about to walk to your car when someone suddenly tapped lightly on your shoulder. You turned around expecting it to be another one of your friends but it wasn’t. It was the last person you wanted to see at the moment.
“Hey y/n” He finally said. “Sunghoon..” you froze, not expecting him to just casually say hi to you. “How’ve you been?” he asked you but you said nothing. You felt like you didn’t even have the right to be speaking to him right now. You stared at him, wondering if this is real? Is he really talking to you?
“y/n?” you stopped staring and awkwardly chuckled “yeah? oh, I've been fine, I guess.” he just nodded in acknowledgment. “What about you?” you asked “I’m doing good. I’m getting married soon” he said and you just nodded even though your heart was breaking. “Congratulations, Sunghoon. That’s…that’s great for you” you tried to put a smile on your face but the way it shaked and your eyes glistened with tears gave away how you really felt.
“y/n are you okay?” you heard the tiny bit of worry in his voice. “I feel like I shouldn’t say if I'm okay or not because I don’t have the right to cry in front of you after what I did.” you confessed. “I just feel so bad and guilty for what I did. You and Iseul didn’t deserve that and I really am sorry. I guess I just didn't want you to be with her. I know it was quite selfish of me and I'm so angry at myself for doing that and for hurting you. I really am sorry…” you blurted out in one breath.
“It’s okay y/n. Don’t worry about it, really” You shook your head “No. It’s not okay. I tried to keep you away from who you love and I made a whole lie about her. It's good you two ended up getting engaged. I really am happy for you two.” you said. “I’m so sorry. I really wish things could’ve ended up differently but either way, I'll always be happy for you.” you finally poured your heart out and told him the truth.
“Thank you for saying that, y/n.” he responded and you nodded, slightly smiling. “I forgive you.” he suddenly said and your smile grew bigger but not a lot. “Thank you. Again, I really am happy for you.”
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You sat on the chair at the ceremony, singing a song you wrote. Sunghoon invited you to sing at his wedding. You couldn’t help but think about if you weren’t so selfish and actually told him your feelings that it could’ve been you walking down the aisle instead of Iseul. You quickly shut those thoughts down and accepted the situation.
You continued to sing as you watched the two walk down the aisle together, a smile slowly spread across your face. He looked back at you and mouthed a ‘Thank you’ you just smiled at him. Not in a loving way, but in a way that showed that you were happy for him.
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Authors note : Sorry yall…at least it sort of a happy ending…? 😭 ALSO SORRY FOR NOT POSTING 💔💔💔 feedback and reblogs are appreciated! ♡
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© hayves1 2024
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jeminie-rising · 3 days ago
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One Second Fireworks
[ Inumaki Toge x Reader ]
link to AO3: [ One Second Fireworks by JEMINIE ]
summary: "His eyes now looking for the fireworks in the reflection in your eyes as they looked up in awe."
or, Toge gets called in from the Inumaki Clan for the holidays, but made it back to Tokyo just in time for the last chime of the new years countdown to steal the last grape from you.
warnings: Inumaki Toge uses sign language, Soft Inumaki, Inumaki says more than just rice balls ingredients, fluff, toge and reader being complete idiots in love, no smut!, toge thinks he’s not deserving :(, afab!reader, they're both so in love but can't admit to it (yet), Toge says more than just rice ball ingredients, there might be slight mischaracterisations, found family, everyone ate grapes at midnight, new years eve, Not actually unrequited love (they just shy), Panda is so supportive.
characters: inumaki toge, The Inumaki Clan, Fushiguro Megumi, Itadori Yuuji, Kugisaki Nobara, Zen'in Maki, Panda, slight Satoru Gojo, mentioned Yuta Okkotsu
word count: 5,379
authors note: hii! decided to write a part two of the Inumaki x reader Christmas one shot! will be putting them in a series, so it's easier to read through them. But definitely can be read as solo works too! Told myself that this would be a one shot but when would that actually be followed through? LMAOO (comments get to my head and make me want to write more ngl --they're just so cute pls)
FIND PART ONE HERE (a silent christmas) IF YOU HAVEN'T READ IT YET!
and as usual, enjoy!! and happiest new year to everyone xx
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A lot can happen in a year.
New year, new resolutions, new dreams, and new hopes. But not for you, you had a resolution, a plan, and a dream that has been on standby for nearly a year now. And it didn’t look like it was going to change anytime soon. It hasn’t been long anyways that you’ve known Toge, but it definitely felt longer than what it was. Time with him seemed to stretch just longer than you thought. And while he was away, if it were possible, it seemed unbearably longer. 
“Have you guys counted your own grapes yet?” Nobara called out for everyone.
A silly little thing she and Itadori found online. You couldn't understand how the tradition of the 12 grapes suddenly had to be eaten from under the table. Growing up with your family, you ate the grapes with one another, twelve for the twelve last chimes of the bell of the year, only to be followed by a mouthful of cheers from one another. This year, when your family died, you truly thought you were going to spend it on your own. Fortunately enough, you found your way in the company of some good human friends and an equally great panda friend.
Unfortunately, one of those friends was missing. Inumaki, the same one that you wished, most of all, to be there, was called upon by his clan. He was to spend the holidays with his family, a long held tradition that dated for centuries. Unlike the one that you, Nobara, and Itadori were trying to create that same night. The Inumaki clan showed their solidarity for the members of their family that were cursed with the Snake Eyes and Fangs. For the entirety of the end of the year into the year to come, they were to pass their days in silence. A custom that the holders of cursed speech often had to go through their entire lives.
Toge never cared for having to limit his vocabulary. He never minded it, his friends always could grasp what it is that he wanted to convey anyways. His feelings and ideas always reached the hearts of those he cared for, and although it was hard to not be able to use full words, it was nothing compared to witnessing anyone he cared for be under the curse of his words. That was just what the kind of person Inumaki was. Exactly the reason why you initially fell for him.
Megumi, on the other hand, as the true spirit of his personality, was already complaining into the new year, “I still don’t quite understand why we have to do this? It’s not like we’re Spanish or Lati—”
“IT’S A TRADITION!” Nobara stomped her feet.
“Traditions require a transmission of customs for a regular amount of times, we’re doing this for the first time.” Maki supported Megumi. Perhaps such a personality ran in their blood.
“It will be fun!” Itadori tried to convince them, with his eyes on the clock. Only 27 more minutes left.
“I will eat the grapes, but I am not getting under the table,” Megumi stayed on his chair.
For lack of a better place, they decided to take a classroom of Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College and transform it for their year end’s party. It wasn’t much of course, a few decorations here and there, number shaped balloons showing the year that they were entering, and the food that covered their school desks that lined up in a long table.
“It’s not like I would fit under one either…” Panda chuckled, scratching the back of his neck.
“Then perhaps, for solidarity, should we all just not go under the table?” You offered. You didn’t want Panda to feel left out if Megumi and Maki miraculously agreed to crawl under a table.
Itadori couldn’t help but nod to that. He too, would have felt too bad to leave out any member in their little game. “What if we just put the table mantles over our heads!?” 
They all looked at him, his logic may have been a little far fetched but Nobara would have taken anything she could at that point. Time was ticking and she was not going to be single for yet another year. 14 minutes.
“Fine!” She finally agreed to it. “Table mantles… so stupid.”
“More stupid than eating grapes under a table?” Megumi laughed.
“If I am still single by the end of this coming year, y’all going to feel my hammer!”
Compared to crawling under a table, the idea of a table mantle over everyone’s head was not an idea that required as much convincing. Everyone looked like little disfigured ghosts and you couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of them. 
You looked at your watch. 3 minutes.
Because everyone’s eyesight was covered, no one could keep looking at the clock. For a highly funded government school, it was hard to get a grab on a tv out there for them to use and move into the classroom. None of your teachers allowed for that. So Itadori had his phone propped up with a countdown from a stream online. 2 minutes. And your heart was beating in excitement as you held onto your paper cup filled with twelve grapes. The sensation was familiar to that of when you were near Inumaki. Or that one time he was holding you close, as he hid you from a first grade curse.
Memories of your year started flooding your mind. This could have been the worst year for you. Losing your entire family. Knowing you would have never had your life back and that your future was forever going to be cursed with the presence of… well, curses. But, at the same time, you also met all your new friends. You learned things about the world you thought were only myth and fantasy. You learned things about yourself you never knew. Pushed yourself to limits you never knew you even had. And, somehow, among all of them, the image of Inumaki’s rare exposed smile shone through.
“Here we go!” Nobara urged them, although the time was still long. 36 seconds. Anything could happen in that time. 
In only a few seconds, you were able to reminisce the entirety of a year. In just one, the Earth travels 18.5 miles through space. In just a few seconds, you could try to call Inumaki and confess your undying love for him. In just the few seconds left you had, you grabbed the phone out of your back pocket and reached for Inumaki’s chat.
On the corner of your phone. 23:59.
On your watch. 21 seconds.
On the one-hand-typed message for Inumaki. Happy new year, Inumaki-senpai!
You hesitated, but then continued. I lov��
“Here, here, HERE!” Itadori chanted. 
Your attention now on hearing the bells of the streaming. 15 seconds. And you were considering sending the message before the time so you could focus on the grapes. But in a panic, you placed the cup in the hand that held your phone, without sending the message, and started to get a single grape.
The people in the stream started counting.
TWELVE!
Everyone ate a grape. 
ELEVEN!
Everyone was quiet. Only the sound of people munching and shuffling under their own table mantle could be heard along with the stream of the countdown.
TEN!
You were already struggling with three grapes. Remnants of the first grape were still at the back of your mouth, unable to swallow it all.
NINE! 
You saw three dots bubbling from your phone. 
EIGHT!
Your heart started to pound more as you tried to keep up with the grape counting and try to read whatever message you were about to receive.
SEVEN!
There was still no message. The sign of Inumaki typing was still there. You had to wonder if he was doing his own countdown or was he laying in his bed at home as silence haunted his estate.
SIX!
“I don’t have grapes of my own :(“ His text read. How did he know you guys were doing grapes? Your mind quickly went to Itadori, who kept updating him with pictures of each of you as the holidays went. You chuckled.
Hearing your chuckle, the others thought you were struggling with the grapes as they were.
“Dish ish soh ARD!” Itadori said in a mouthful.
FIVE!
“OCUS!” Nobara tried to bring their attention to the grapes. It was quite a hard feat.
FOUR!
You checked your phone again, the screen still on Inumaki’s chat. There were bubbles again. Oh, he definitely wasn’t counting down with family.
“Can I have some? :)” His text read.
THREE!
You see two feet in front of you. Who was walking around while eating the grapes?
You didn’t have much time to worry about it for now, Nobara might just scold your ass into the new year, as you stuffed your face with grapes. 
TWO!
Then one hand lifted your table mantle enough to reveal Inumaki standing right in front of you. The shock of seeing him there made you freeze in your place. Grape between your two fingers.
ONE!
You forgot all about the twelve grapes. Eleven were already mushed inside your puffed cheeks, while the last one was now in Inumaki’s mouth, lips brushing against your fingers where it was just a second ago.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Inumaki winked at you. All you could do back was blink. 
Everyone else removed their mantles too as the chimes stroke twelve and let out mouthful greetings and cheers. Inumaki was quick. He let go of the mantle he kept up to look at you and turned around to the others.
“Inumaki-senpai?!” Itadori reacted first, quite dumbfounded.
“TOGE! You made it!” Panda greeted him with a hug.
“[name] get out of there!” Nobara called out for you, still a table mantle on your head. “Look, Inumaki is here!”
You lifted the mantle with your free hand. The one Inumaki helped himself with by eating your last grape from. Your expression is still in shock, which worked in favour of Inumaki. It was exactly how he wanted you to look like, to not bring the others any suspicion.
“Uh– uhm,” you stammered your first few words of the year, “H-happy new year, Inumaki-senpai.”
The boy tilted his head as he smiled towards you. His cute crinkles framed his eyes. You couldn’t help but blush.
“Kelp!” He said, now to everyone present. “Tuna tuna!”
“You wanted to surprise us?! That is so sweet, Toge!” Panda feigned tears.
“Salmon!”
You couldn’t keep your eyes off of him. Your mind went through so many things. He often played pranks. He often aimed them at you and Itadori. Mostly because of how gullible you both were sometimes. But why did he have to wink at you and make your heart beat so fast?
You entered the new year with arrhythmia. 
“Hey, let's cheer!” Itadori suggested.
This gave you the right excuse to keep your mind off of things. With decisive steps you walked towards the tables lined up and grabbed sparkling soda you guys bought. Being minors, they didn’t quite allow you to buy even the mildest of sparkling wines. Even though Gojo thought he could sneak some for you guys, Nanami highly pushed that idea aside by dragging him far from you and left with only a warning.
You were lining up the cups when Panda joined you. Quite surprised to see him there beside you, when one of his best mates just arrived from out of thin air. But he was there, grabbing the half empty bottle of soda, as he started to fill the lined up cups.
“You should talk to him,” Panda said as he filled the second cup.
“What?”
“You know what I’m talking about.”
You stood there silently for a second, “why me? Why not talk to me?”
Panda only let her sit in her words for a few seconds as he stared at her from the corner of his eyes. 
“Okay fine, I do realise the stupidity of my words,” she admitted. “But that’s exactly my point! I can’t do words when it comes to Inumaki-senpai!”
Panda chuckled, “You have a far greater vocabulary than him, I am sure you can string along some words to make up something good enough. Besides, he would understand you even without pretty words.”
You tilted your head at him confused.
“The Inumaki clan… learnt how to communicate with their heart,” he explained.
You sat on his few words for a while, until he finished filling up the last cup, calling the others to get their own cups. It didn’t take long before everyone had their paper cups up in the air, cheering for the new year ahead.
“To us!” Itadori cheered.
“To less missions!” Nobara said.
“To even lesser hard exams,” Panda pleaded.
“Spicy cod roe!” Inumaki brought Maki and Megumi closer.
“Cheers, guys!” Maki joined the enthusiasm.
“Cheers,” Megumi said, not as excitedly as the others but with a clear smile on his face.
“To Gojo-sensei for having begged the principal for us to use this classroom!” You laughed.
“TO GOJO-SENSEI!” Everyone clinked their cups together.
Everyone downed their soda in a matter of seconds. Being just sparkling sugar, you’d think they were drinking alcohol from the expressions they were making. Inumaki stepped towards you, although his mouth was already covered just after drinking soda, you could tell he was wearing a smile. 
You looked at him, awaiting for one of his ingredients to be called out. But instead he pointed towards your pocket, where you stored your phone away. It didn’t take you long to understand he was calling for it. Was he going to use it to type out what he needed to say? Wouldn’t have been the first time. He often used your phone to type out whatever complex thing he had to say. 
However, this time, when he took your phone after you unlocked it, he didn’t open the Notes app. You weren’t looking at the screen, after all this time, you learnt to wait patiently for him to finish typing instead of pressuring him by hoarding his space.
After chuckling at your phone, he faced your own phone towards you. The screen flashed onto your chat with him. It confused you at first, until you read the half-typed message you had for him.
Happy new year, Inumaki-senpai! I lov
Your eyes widened. Your following actions fast, as you reached out to grab your phone. However, his were even quicker, pulling his hand back in the air. You knew, with your current fighting skills, you could only take on Inumaki for a little more than a minute before he had you floored. He was the only semi first grader among the students present anyways. With the dress and heels you were wearing, insisted by Nobara, you could bet it was even less than so. Even without the use of his cursed speech.
“Inumaki-senpai please–” 
“Bonito flakes,” He cut you off by shaking his head, and continued wiggling his eyebrows “Tuna~?”
You looked around, everyone was busying themselves by talking to one another. It wasn’t new anyways that Toge teased you, so they did not bat an eye as you cried out for your phone. But you still hushed your voice as you stepped closer to him, “I was typing with one hand! I had my cup in hand, my fingers must have slipped–”
He shook his head again, this time chuckling at you.
“It’s true!” You insisted. 
It wasn’t far from the truth, anyways. But you couldn’t help but think if this would have been a good opportunity to finally tell him how you felt. You could have let your past self say what your present self couldn’t, but not like this. Not from a message. You didn’t want to confess to your crush through half-written unsent text.
You thought maybe it was time, maybe you could welcome the new year by following through your backlog of resolutions. You gathered all the courage you had before you could hear a loud bang, bringing all of you to attention outside. Being trained sorcerers your first instinct was to get ready for a fight, but it all seemed silly as colours filled the night sky of Tokyo.
“FIREWORKS!” You, Itadori, and Nobara exclaimed. You already forgot all about the half-written confession you had. Fireworks now filled your view and entire mind.
“Let’s go out!” Itadori jumped, not even grabbing a scarf to warm himself before hopping over the big window to the outside.
You laughed, only to follow him excited as he was. Forgetting all about your own jacket too, and other matters, in the building. Excitement was enough to warm you up.
“Hey, wait for us!” Panda was trying to follow suit, as he wrapped himself with a scarf before getting out. It wasn’t long before everyone had followed after Itadori, who was completely immersed in the fireworks that they all could see in the skies. 
These had to be programmed by the city of Tokyo, you thought, there was no way civilians could master nor have enough money to afford such grand fireworks. Your group managed to get a hold of sprinklers and small fireworks that you had planned to light up in the courtyard. But they were nothing as beautiful as the ones in the sky.
You had your head tilted back, admiring the lights. You have always adored lights. Your family would always bring you to firework shows and other kinds of light shows, since you were a child. When the biggest streets of a city would finally put up their Christmas lights, you were always there for the first night of lighting it up. The winter holidays season was always your favourite, only followed by the summer festivals with their crazy firework shows. 
The memories of the summer festivals’ fireworks warmed you up enough to forget it was actually dead winter that night. It didn’t occur to you the cold that was beginning to crinkle up from your feet. You looked around to your friends, all of them were also looking at the skies, smiles planted on everyone’s face –even gloomy Megumi.
“That one had to be the biggest one yet!” Nobara screamed to be heard by everyone.
“No! There’s gonna be a bigger one –I know it!!” Itadori jumped.
“Salmon!” Inumaki couldn’t help but agree with Itadori. And just like that, a sprinkle of bright silver almost enveloped the entire sky in a big big dome. Everyone wow-ed in a chorus, and Inumaki had to take away his eyes from the beautiful show long before the sprinkles were gone, only to look at your reaction.
He inched closer, with intentions in his step. His eyes now looking for the fireworks in the reflection in your eyes as they looked up in awe.
Perhaps the whole ‘you're the most beautiful view’ was quite cheesy for his tastes, but he couldn’t help but be exactly that whenever it came to you. He always found cheesy lines lame, overly sweet love songs cringy, and in love characters in movies who refused to be together for the smallest inconveniences to be stupid to the point of frustration. But hell was he starting to understand them the days he first met you.
It wasn’t quite exactly love at first sight. You came to the school all battered up, it was only a few days after Itadori had come in, and everyone was surprised to see a new student so soon. Your eyes, unlike right now, were hollow and at a loss of life. Inumaki only heard of what happened to you. Losing your family and that same night, being approached by a stranger with blindfolds, who insisted on you following him to a quite suspicious secluded school claiming all sorts of weird things (knowing Gojo-sensei, he wasn’t the best at explaining what curses were and this new world was that you were about to embark in). 
When Inumaki saw you for the first time, your head was tilted down instead of up to look at the sky. His first feelings towards you were out of sympathy. He wasn’t quite sure when the many other feelings began to creep in. Maybe it was the way you’d always make space in the conversation for him. The way you asked him questions so he could just say yes or no to them. The way you began to bring around an extra bottle of cough syrup with you in your pocket for him even when neither of you were on a mission.
But he knew it for sure the day of his birthday. You’ve been in the school for a few months by then and he wasn’t sure how it was that you found out about his birthday. But you had prepared a gift just for him. You insisted it was silly, and that it might have been more work for him than giving him a normal material gift, but in his heart, that was everything.
Feeling some eyes on you, you looked around to see Inumaki already staring at you. A hidden soft smile planted on his face. You tilted your head to the side, smiling at him. Clearly you already have forgotten your interaction earlier. Inumaki couldn’t help but chuckle again at you. Quite adorable, he wished to say.
You brought your finger up to point at him. He followed your gestures, already locking in to read them. Then you brought the same hand to both of your shoulders, the left then the right, tilted your head again to show your worry. 
Are you okay?
Inumaki couldn’t help but smile fondly. That was one of the first few things he learnt ever since you gave him that guided tutorial on basic Japanese Sign Language for his birthday. Turned out, ever since you met him, you’ve been studying how to do sign language to effectively talk with him. Then, ever since his birthday, he caught up with you, almost being better at it than you are, despite how much longer you took to learn.
Inumaki gave you a shake of the head. But gave no other gestures to explain himself. You could only frown, but your hands were instinctively already going towards your pocket. Inumaki knew what you hid in there –his cough syrup– he stopped your hand with his own, feeling how cold yours were compared to his.
Having followed Itadori out without thinking, you left your jacket inside. Fortunately, Inumaki was more prepared than you, and he calmly but surely took off his own jacket to place it around your shoulders.
“Oh no, I am okay!” You insisted.
But Inumaki was shaking his head once again, “Bonito flakes.”
You frowned, “why aren’t you okay? Are you not enjoying the fireworks?”
Being so close to one another, you didn’t have to scream to be heard from one another. You could have raised your voices a little louder, but at that point, both of you were quite scared to be heard by the others a few steps away from you.
“Bonito flakes,” Inumaki replied, smiling. At this point, you already knew all the expressions he could give with just the use of the upper part of his face.
“What is it then?” You asked, encouraging sign language by already looking at his hands for some gestures.
However, Inumaki didn’t do any sign language. Instead, he brought out your phone again, having kept it in his hand that whole time. Refusing to let go of it, as if he couldn’t let go of the half-written message you left in it. Only then, the realisation of what happened earlier came back to you in a flash. Another firework banged the moment you lost a beat of your heart.
“Oh,” was all you could manage to say.
You stayed there, fidgeting on his jacket, closing it in –partly in hopes to hide yourself under it. Inumaki, though, he waited patiently for you. Something he found himself having to do more than you did for him. With his limitations, he learnt how to effectively communicate with the little he had in record times. However, with all the words, sign language, texting, and writing you could manage, you still struggled to form anything close to coherent that could have you satisfied. Your conversation with Panda came back to your mind. 
But before you could muster even the lamest word you could think of, Inumaki called for your attention, “Tuna.”
Although he was patient, he also was eager. He wanted to start this new year already, and, in his mind, he couldn’t begin it until he made sure of your feelings. You looked up at him, and as much as he wanted to hear you say the words, he could see it all in your eyes. That was one thing he was most glad to have inherited and learnt from his family. Communication from the heart. No words needed. And although it may have come unintentional to you, Inumaki could have understood all your emotions from the day you stepped into Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College.
All the words you never said, but showed instead. Before you even started conversing in sign language, before you could even get a grasp of his onigiri ingredients, you could already speak his language –that of the heart.
But as crystal clear and plain as day as it was for him, his feelings might have not been clear to you without speaking them. He couldn’t expect you, nor anyone, to know his thoughts and feelings without expressing them. Maybe that’s why you asked him so many questions. It was your own very way to know his feelings and thoughts. However, this time around, it was his turn to close that gap.
For the many times she adjusted to him, he was ready to adjust his own language to her.
You brought your index finger up and shook it, and asked, “what is it?”
Time seemed not to pass. For Inumaki, it was still midnight. It was still the same second he got courage to eat your last grape from your fingers. For him, the only sign of time passing were the fireworks changing in the background. Unlike the warm lights from that Christmas eve at his estate, many different colours lightened up your face.
With only that, he got enough courage to finally say it. May all the precautions be thrown out the window. He was always scared to fall in love. He was never sure how it would turn out to be in a relationship where he couldn’t even say how he felt. But the more time passed, the more it seemed possible with you. A fever dream, suddenly, became a goal –a reality.
He slowly unzipped his collar, showing his entire face. You, with the bunch of times you’ve seen his bare face, were still quite hypnotised by the tattoos on both his cheek. Once you got a snippet of the one on his tongue, making you wonder how much it hurt to get it –or was it something he was born with like his curse? That was a question you haven’t gotten to ask yet, you thought.
Inumaki noticed how you shook your head slightly, before bringing your eyes back up to his, with a slight blush on your face. This little act made him smile, and it took a little bit of his nerves to not hide himself behind his collar again. How was it that it only took a little undone zipper, to make you both so bashful.
He sighed deeply, calming himself to regain the confidence he had just a second ago. He clapped his hands on his face, and this surprised you quite a bit. But the surprise was enough to melt the nerves away, making you giggle at the oddity of the moment.
He brought his hands to your shoulders, begging again for your attention, “Tuna.”
“Yes,” you nodded, for how little you could hear him in between the fireworks, you focused on him. “I’m listening.”
He slowly brought both of his thumb and index finger to each side of his chin. Each finger on his tattoos. He kept them there for a few fireworks exploding in the sky. Frozen.
“Inumaki-senpai?” You asked, your eyes slightly widened. 
He wasn’t done, of course. He had one more gesture to do, in order to say what he wanted to say, but your mind was already trotting like a horse at thousands kilometers per hour. You knew that sign –or at least the one he was setting himself up for. You used it constantly.
It was one of the first few things you learned to express yourself to him. On a summer day, how you liked the flavour of ice cream you picked, but preferred his. How when you were starting to get to know him, you told him how you liked science as a subject but absolutely loathed maths. And of course, you often used it to talk about your favourite movies and shows. There was not a day that passed when you wouldn’t use it. Inumaki, seeing you do it countless times, got the hang of the kind of person you were. Loving and expressive.
He needed to take your example.
He began to slide the fingers to connect them at the tip of his chin. But then it was disrupted by Itadori’s cheers.
“Happy new year guys!”
He hugged the both of you, each arm on each of you bringing you closer to him. Inumaki could only see Panda by the side of his view crossing his arms in an ‘X’ over his head to Itadori. But it was too late. The moment was gone. Another came flooding in from the group of friends.
Inumaki didn’t even notice the lack of fireworks. They were done, marking the end of his chance. That second to midnight lasted almost an hour and he still didn’t make it. He was disappointed, sure, but it took one look at you to see you laughing for him to forgive the others’ disruption rather quickly.
“Spicy cod roe!” He cheered with them after a small sigh of defeat.
“Happy new year, Itadori!” You laughed under his arm.
“Let’s get in to continue the party!” Nobara started ahead, rubbing her hands together in the cold. You were pretty sure she wanted to go back in to get warm. 
The others didn’t idle, following her suit. It was only you who hesitated for a second, looking up to the sky. There were no more fireworks, you’ve missed most of them, but it was alright. You had a moment with Inumaki. You weren’t fully sure what he was about to say (or sign), but you had a moment. What was left of the fireworks were only smokey clouds and stars that, despite the lights of the city, could still be seen.
There weren’t many, but they were there. A bunch. Shining above you all as you entered the new year. And even if the others weren’t seen, you knew they still were there. Exactly like what Inumaki knew your feelings to be. You still haven’t fully confessed your feelings, but he knew they were there. And for now, as he watched you look up to the sky for stars while wearing his coat, he was just going to have to be content with it.
“Happy new year, [name].”
You looked down at Inumaki, hearing his voice again saying something other than onigiri ingredients since Christmas. Your heart started to beat faster, but this time, there were no fireworks to hide it. You only wished he was far enough to not hear it slamming against your chest. With his wish for you you could feel the new year starting great and only becoming better.
You smiled at him, as he zipped his collar back up. A faint smile hid slowly behind it and you could swear his mouth moved more, but his collar was already all the way up for you to hear or read his lips.
“Happy new year, Inumaki-senpai!”
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mysticfemme · 1 year ago
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I still think one of my favourite times with my butch is from last year, he was at my house and I ended up napping wrapped up in his arms (let's be honest, when am I not napping?). he held me for who knows how long, and when I woke up he was gently rubbing the outside of my thigh, dipping lower every so often. I was half asleep still in his arms, and he started gently rubbing my clit over my underwear. he kept shushing me everytime I made a noise, telling me to go back to sleep. it was so cute and he was so gentle and caring and just thinking about it makes me blush 🥹💘
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your-internet-bf · 2 months ago
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Awww, c'mon, man, you can tell me how big it is. Cmonnnnn, I'm curious! You're a good lookin guy, I'm sure you're packin some heat down there, right?
What's that? You don't... huh? What do you mean? Here, just let me...
Don't moan, man, don't gotta make this weird... Well damn. No, no, I'm not disappointed at all, it's just... Here. Feel this.
No, shh, just feel. When you reach between a man's legs, you should feel something like this. Yeah, there's a lot there haha, maybe not something quite like this... What's that? Can you see it? That's a little gay, dude... Naw, I'm joking. Here.
Ahaha, you should see your face, man. What, you thought just because it was that big it had to be hard already? Naww, look, you're cute and all but it takes a little more than - ohhh, shit. No, you're right, your hands probably won't fit. Yeah. Why don't you...
Ahhh, fuck. Quick to get on your knees, and christ, that feels good... Yeah, fuck, use your... Ugh, christ, I know you're choking, I'm just gonna use your throat for a minute. You look so fucking hot down there... C'mon, c'mon... Aha. A little too big for your throat, huh? That's alright. Lick your spit up off my cock, I've got something else for you to try.
Jesus, I can see how soaked you are through your clothes. Take those off, lemme get a look at you. God, you've got a great ass, you know that? Spread that shit for me, let me look... God, dude, you look tight. Let me just feel around here... Yeah, shit, can you spread a little more? I wanna really get a good look. Yeahhh, that's good, right there. Yeah, I'm gonna - aha, that was a cute sound. What happens if I - ahaaaa. That wasn't very manly of you. Okay, okay... On the bed.
Spread your fuckin legs, what do you think I'm about to do? No use in being shy now, I JUST felt how fuckin wet you are. If you're not gonna do it, I'm gonna have to make you... Yeah, alright, I've waited long enough. Oh don't gimme that, I know you want it. Look, when I lay it on your tummy... Almost to your belly button. Beg me to put it in. Yeah, man, seriously. Beg me for it. Like a slut. Use your big boy words and fucking beg me to take this fat fucking cock of mine and pound your cunt.
See, was that so hard? Good boy. Now, grab onto something, cuz this is gonna hurt.
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giannaln4 · 2 months ago
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GIANNA'S KINKTOBER '24 SEASON
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Kinktober day sixteen.
Breeding Kink (3.2k words)
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summary: Since the moment he met you, Lando knew he wanted you to be the mother of his children, and that feeling only intensified when he saw taking care of your nephew.
warnings: NSFW, +18, smut, MDNI, established relationship, unprotected sex, creampie, dirty talking, breeding kink.
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To anyone else, and as people would expect, seeing your significant other with a child should warm your heart; it should give you a soft spot for the person you’ve vowed to spend the rest of your life with. 
Lando did feel like that when he saw you interact with any kid, like when you were walking in the paddock and a kid came up to him and you always made conversation so they wouldn’t feel so shy, or when a driver brought their kid to the race and you immediately leaned down to talk to them, sometimes even holding their tiny hands as they swore they had the coolest thing to show you.
That was the first few times, at least. But he will never forget how everything inside him shifted when you first met his niece. She instantly fell in love with you, and she needed to drag you everywhere. Who could blame her, really; that’s just the effect you have on people.
But god, the effect you had on him? That was another level, because the way he felt that weekend when you picked up a motherly role when you were with her made him feel something he had never felt before, something he never imagined, and quite honestly, he couldn’t explain it. That was until you were saying goodbye and the little girl nearly cried when her mother took her from your arms, and his hands instinctively landed on your tummy when he walked you back to the car.
The thought of you carrying his child and taking care of them the same way you did with his niece — now that is a fire he could never put out, not until it became a reality. He wanted- no, he needed to make you a mother; he desperately needed to put a baby in you in a way that was almost primal.
You and Lando have been together for years, and it was common knowledge that he wanted kids. Sure, you have talked about having a family one day after getting married, one day, but sometimes he just wishes you could skip all of that and make a baby once and for all. 
For months, he kept those thoughts to himself, not wanting to ruin what you had just because he couldn’t contain his desire buried for a little longer; that was until you babysat your 5-year-old nephew, Charlie.
He came back home sometime in the afternoon, eyes tired and body aching for the intensity of the past weeks. He wanted nothing more than to be with his girlfriend and forget about the world, but as soon as he stepped into your apartment, he heard the TV and loud chuckles coming from the living room.
His brows frowned in confusion as he dropped his bags next to the door and followed the noise, his heart nearly stopping when he spotted you playing with the little kid.
“Hey, what’s going on here?” He said with a huge smile.
“Oh hi, you’re home,” you sprinted towards him, hugging him tightly when he caught you in his arms. “I’ve missed you.”
“Missed you too, sweetheart,” he kissed your temple. “And how is this little guy doing?" Lando walked towards Charlie, kneeling next to him to be at the same level. 
“Good, we are playing with the puppies,” he exclaimed, his tiny finger pointed at the TV. 
“Yeah? Are they fun?” He just nodded and ran closer to the glowing screen, completely forgetting about Lando’s existence and jumping again as his tired eyes followed the dogs.
“Don’t worry, my sister will pick him up in a couple of hours.”
“It’s fine. He seems happy.”
“And very tired. I think it's time for a nap, what do you say?” You walked towards him, trying to pick him up, but he refused.
“No! I wanna play racing again.” 
“We can play some other time, I promise.” 
He looked up at you, the corners of his mouth turning down as his eyes quickly filled with tears. He shook his head and ran back to Lando, who was still on his knees, as he caged himself in his arms.
“I wanna play racing,” he repeated, this time to your boyfriend, sniffling and wiping his tears.
“Yeah? We can play for a little while.”
“Lando-” The way he just betrayed you, you would never forgive him.
“He’ll want to go to sleep soon, don’t worry.” You saw them walk to Lando’s streaming room, Charlie skipping as he held his hand.
You rolled your eyes and followed them, crossing your arms as you rested against the door frame. Lando tried to pick him up, intending to sit him in the sim, but he nearly lost his mind, as if Lando had no idea how playing racing worked.
“No! Auntie.” Lando freaked out and out and put him back down, looking at you as he begged for your help with a single look.
“I’m right here, sweetie.”
You stepped closer to them, sitting on the chair as you picked him up and put him on your lap. He was happy again, his little feet kicking in the air as he gripped the steering wheel.
“We’ll do one more, okay?”
“Yes!” He happily exclaimed.
Lando watched the both of you in awe as you started the game, showing Charlie all the cool cars he could choose from.
“I want the blue car again!” He said, pointing at the Red Bull. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” Lando joked. You giggled at this, but chose the Red Bull for the race.
It was a free practice session, so you weren’t actually racing other cars, but you still got to drive it super fast, which is exactly what he liked. 
As the session started, you placed your hands just below his. You were doing all the work, but the illusion was still there. 
It was a little harder to drive like this, but you still managed to put up a few good laps without messing up too much, but even when you did, he was enjoying it, giggling and pointing at the screens as he turned to Lando to ask him an excited “did you see that?” Any time something happened, and every time, Lando would just nod and match his enthusiasm.
The session ended, and just like you did earlier today, you congratulated your nephew for his amazing driving. He took the compliments proudly as if he just won a championship, but his head soon fell on your chest, yawning as he snuggled closer.
“Okay, time for a nap.”
He didn’t resist this time. Instead, he nodded as his eyes closed. Lando helped you get up as you held Charlie close to you, walking towards the guest room; that was the room he preferred, saying your room was too scary and probably haunted.
You carefully laid him down, taking his shoes off and covering his body with a blanket. How was he already in a deep sleep? You had no idea, but you envy him.
While he was asleep, you took the time to clean up the mess he made earlier, picking up all the toys he brought and putting Lando’s helmets back where they belonged. You loved your nephew, you really did, but man, it was really challenging to take care of a child. Not only were they messy and unpredictable, but they had so much energy you could barely keep up. You often wondered how your sister did it. 
Once you finished up, you dramatically collapsed on the couch. “I need to sleep for like a week,” you joked, your boyfriend laughing at your antics.
He made his way to the couch, sitting next to you as he pulled you in a warm embrace, hands caressing your sides as he placed a sweet kiss on the top of your head. “Me too, and I was only here for like half an hour.”
“Imagine! I’ve been with him since this morning. I’m never babysitting again.”
“No? But you love Charlie.” He looked at you expectantly, trying to decipher if you were being serious.
“I do, but it’s too much sometimes. I honestly don’t know what we’ll do when we have our kids.”
Our kids. Two simple words that opened up a can that you would never be able to close. He stayed silent, mentally cursing the tent forming in his pants for betraying him in such an innocent moment.
You didn’t think anything of it, nor did you realise what those two words did to him, so you just reached for the remote control and browsed the channels. You ended up picking a cooking show, paying attention as if you would ever cook anything like that.
The entire time, Lando was paying attention to you — all of you. He admired your face, your hands, your hips… your tummy. He couldn’t stop himself from placing both his hands on your stomach, imagining what you would look like carrying a child. His child. He was well aware he was getting ahead of himself, but after witnessing today’s events? God, he needed to do something about it.
Another hour went by, and you were already catching up to your boyfriend’s intentions. To you, everything seemed normal at first, but the lower his hands got and the way his thumb was rubbing soft circles on your stomach, it clicked. You knew how Lando felt about having a family with you, but it never crossed your mind that seeing you with kids affected him so much. Though it all made more sense now, any time you were near a kid, even if you didn’t interact with them at all, his hands would be all over you, and when he got you alone? That’s another story, but you never connected the dots until now. 
Suddenly, a phone call made both of you jump. It was your sister calling you to let you know she was in the building, ready to pick Charlie up. You gathered all his things as Lando greeted your sister, walking her in and guiding her to the guest room.
“Aw, he looks so peaceful.”
“Well, you should’ve seen him two hours ago,” you joked.
“I know,” she laughed with you. “Thank you for taking care of him on such short notice, you saved my life today.”
“It’s okay, I love spending time with Charlie, and I’m happy to do it any other time.” 
“Thanks, Y/N. He honestly loves you, you have no idea how happy he got when I told him we were coming here.” Your sister was about to carry Charlie in his arms, but Lando offered to bring him down to the car. 
Okay, now you got it. You had to admit that seeing Lando carry a little kid did things to you, and since your realisation a few minutes ago, you couldn’t stop thinking about a family; how did you suddenly get your own case of baby fever? Sure, you were still young, and that probably wouldn’t happen for at least a few years, but fantasising couldn’t hurt anyone. 
You walked back to the apartment holding Lando’s hand, his grip so tight you thought he could break your hand if he squeezed a little harder. As soon as the door closed behind you, he grabbed you by the hips and turned you around, his lips crashing into yours in an intense kiss.
Kissing him back, your arms wrapped around his neck as one hand played with his hair.
“You looked so pretty today, taking such good care of the baby,” he mumbled against your lips, biting it sofly. You couldn’t contain the moan that left your mouth, only encouraging him further. 
He carried you to your bedroom, immediately throwing you in the bed and hovering over you. He pressed himself further into you, making you very aware of his hardening cock as he nudged his bulge into your lower stomach. You moaned again, your legs going around his torso to pull him down.
“I wanna put a baby in you. God, you would look so perfect.” He didn’t know what to do with you. He wanted to kiss you, bite you; he wanted to touch you everywhere, his own mind making him feel overwhelmed. 
After quickly taking off your shirt, he started kissing you everywhere, a trail of wet kisses making their way down your body. His touch was electric, making you nearly squirm beneath him as your fingers kept a tight grip on his hair, and his words only made the feeling intensify. 
“Lando,” you moaned, he hummed in response, “do it,” you simply said. God, the way everything inside him shifted is something he wanted to remember for the rest of his life. He looked up at you, eyes filled with a hunger and desperation you had never seen before. 
“Yeah? You want me to put a baby here?” He asked you, his big hand falling on your lower stomach as he kissed it. 
“Mhm, yes.” Your heartbeat was as strong as ever, and you were already having a hard time focusing. You needed him to do something and you needed it now. 
“Fuck,” he breathed as his hips involuntarily thrusted into the mattress. His lips kept exploring the lower part of your body as his hands worked on getting rid of your joggers, hands falling on your thighs immediately after to move them to rest on his shoulders. 
“Please, I need you so bad,” you begged, and he assumed you were asking him to pay attention to your poor pussy, which you were, but his mouth is not what you needed right now, so you stopped him after one firm lick. “Inside me.”
“As you wish, my love.” 
He got off the bed to quickly discard his clothes as you did the same with your bra, falling back on the bed as you eagerly waited for him. You felt like his gaze was piercing you as he lowered his body, pressing himself against you.
You moaned in anticipation, your arms wrapped around his neck as you felt your pussy starting to drip with desire. He moved his fingers along your sides and all the way down to your hole, collecting your wetness and spreading everywhere, finally getting to your clit as he rubbed soft circles for a moment.
He moved his mouth to your chest, taking one of your nipples into your mouth as he whimpered, and his mind instantly went to how sensitive and full they would be once you were pregnant, and he couldn’t wait any longer. “You look so fucking sexy tonight, sweetheart... I wanna fuck you so bad.” He was practically drooling as his fingers left your pussy and grabbed his cock, pumping it a couple of times before guiding it to your entrance.
You couldn’t help your gaze dropping to his member, already swollen at the tip and bubbling with precum. It seemed impossible, but you were sure you had never needed him this bad.
He pushed into you, making both of you moan loudly as his eyes met yours for a moment before pressing a kiss on your lips, whispering a little “I love you.”
He didn’t give you that long to adjust. His hands went under your ass, moving you up and down his cock. As if your sex life wasn’t already rough, the intention he had in mind just made him go crazier, because the way he was thrusting into you was bound to leave you sore for days. 
The room was filled with whimpers and slick noises the whole time, moans of each other’s names joining from time to time. “Gonna fill you up so good,” he breathed, his hands squeezing your ass, “fuck, can’t wait to see your tummy grow.” All you could do was moan, the words leaving his mouth putting you under a spell that you could never escape. “Do you want that, love?”
“Uh- huh,” you managed to spit out, fingers drigging into his strong biceps.
“Wanna hear you say it.”
“Fuck- ah. I want you to put a baby in me.” You replied, eyes focusing on what your words did to him.
His hips began to speed up, thrashing your head against the pillows as he repeatedly hit that sweet spot deep inside you. He was so deep you could practically feel him in the pit of your stomach.
“Harder,” you whimpered, and he immediately started to drill into you, the air nearly getting knocked out of your lungs as his grip tightened. 
“You feel so good around me, so so good for me,” he pants, looking down to where you were connected. “Fuck.”
“Ah- Lando.” It felt so good. So good that you are too far out of reality to form any thoughts; you could only think about him and how good he looked above you, with his mouth hung open in pure pleasure as he panted.
One of his hands made its way to your tummy, pressing down where he could feel himself. It was so simple yet so effective; he could feel his cock moving deep inside you. He gragged it further, his fingers catching your clit.
“Fuck,” you let out a broken moan, “just like that.”
He smirked at this; it was like you were begging him to get you pregnant as you began to tighten around him. He knew you were close; he could not only feel it but see it, the way your eyes were squeezed shut as your legs started to quiver.
“You wanna cum? You wanna cum while I fill you up?”
“Fuck,” you screamed as your head frantically nodded. 
“Cum with me, I’m gonna put a baby in there.”
With that, your orgasm began to take over, squeezing around him tighter, triggering his own release. He slowed his movements down and both his hands took a hold of your waist, keeping you in place so you wouldn’t waste a single drop.
Both your moans were even louder as he did his best to continue pushing into you through his orgasm, wanting to pump as much of his seed into you as he possibly could. When he physically couldn’t keep going, he stopped, keeping his cock deep inside you as he tried to catch his breath. 
He looked down at you, a smile adorning his face as he looked down at the mess he made. Slowly, he pulled out, his fingers quickly replacing his cock as he pushed his cum back into you, making you squirm and whimper at how sensitive you were. 
“Gonna have to squeeze for me, love, you gotta keep it inside.” The sight almost made him want to fuck you again; he couldn’t believe how pretty you looked filled up to the brim with his cum.
His eyes locked with yours, fingers going inside his mouth as he licked them clean. He had lost his mind; you were sure of that, but fuck, you couldn’t deny how hot that was.
With a satisfied smirk, he fell next to you, pulling you into his arms as he kissed you once more. “I love you so much,” he whispered.
“I love you too.”
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faylvrs · 1 month ago
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holding you , holding me ✿ bllk men
﹒postscript : when they realise they’re in love, with you. ɞ‎ feat. nagi, reo, rin, karasu, shidou, sae, kaiser ɞ‎ cw fem reader in a few, banter, suggestive
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nagi realises he’s in love with you when the late night calls start getting more frequent. he had started craving your presence more and more. hell, he felt lovesick.
“what a hassle..” nagi’s head flops against the bed sheets, his gaze constantly shifting to his phone to see if you’ve replied to his text yet.
the nagi waiting for your texts? not to mention texting first, call a man whipped!
”i only take a few second’s to reply..” nagi picks up his phone again, grumbling when his notifications are empty. if he replies as soon as you do, why do you have to spend the next 3 decades replying back?
nagi’s usually the one who replies and then logs on minecraft for hours. him replying in mere seconds at your texts—you’re definitely special. very special in his eyes, oh. there’s something else that caught his eyes.
nagi’s phone lit up with a notification, from you.
sure! it’s a date then :))
cool, :x. 7PM?
reo realies he’s in love with you when his pockets really start to hurt.
i mean really. he’s been spoiling you relentlessly for the past few weeks. even if you insist you don’t need a new shirt, by tomorrow your closet is filled with them.
you just can’t seem to escape his mind. whenever he walks by the street and spots a store, his first thought goes to you, that maybe you’d like this. that maybe he should buy it for you—of course he will.
“you know.” reo smiles at you as you try on the new necklace he bought for you. “i booked a dinner for us, just us.”
“oh?” you hum, still struggling with the hook. “can you help me?”
“sure.” he’s more than happy to help you hook your necklace—a chance to put his hands on you? he’ll take it gladly.
“so about that dinner..” his hands swiftly clasp your necklace around your neck. “are you coming or what?”
“i don’t know… the mikage reo taking me out?” you grin up at him. “im a little shy.”
you and reo laugh soundly, well, looks like you’ve got a date tonight.
rin couldn’t believe it.
he’s in love with you, playback—he’s in love.
it started off with smaller details, like how he would leave his soccer practice or gym earlier than usual to see you. and also how his messages app slowly started to become his most used app.
soccer wasn’t everything anymore, he had you too now.
“don’t make me waste money on this lukewarm shit ever again.” rin gruffed as he watched you sip the drink he had bought you from the convenience store earlier.
normally, he’d never waste his money on some useless milkshake from the store, that’s not even good for your body. but seeing you contentedly gulp at the fresh taste of your drink, he can’t seem to hold himself back.
“give me some.”
the words slip out of his tongue before he can control them.
“you wanna try?” well he’s definitely colored you surprised now. “come here then, rinnie.”
rin could feel his face slightly heat up at the nickname. he scoots closer to you, snatching the drink from your hand with no warning.
“hey!” you glare at him as he drinks the entire thing in one gulp, definitely not what you anticipated. “that was mine, you were supposed to take a sip.” you huff at him.
rin only rolls his eyes. “i paid for it. ill buy you a new one later.” your eyes sparkle at his words.
“fine, you win.” you smile. “im going to get going before you become grumpy and tell me to shoo.” you give him a teasing wink, about to get up from his couch when suddenly he grabs your arm.
“wait.” he grits his teeth, biting back words. “don’t go.”
“rin?”
“just, don’t.”
“you missed me, huh?” karasu smirks. he had his hair down, for once not put up with an insane amount of gel—karasu in all his glory.
“i didn’t.” you huff at him. “you look even uglier with your hair down.”
“yer’ comparing my beauty to your birds nest?” karasu crosses his arms, leaning against the door.
“oh, we can see them split ends girl.” you roll your eyes.
karasu has always loved bantering with you, but nowadays, it seems as if his heart has been telling him thats not the only reason his heartbeat speeds up whenever he’s around you.
he loves bantering with you, he loves you.
there’s a prolonged silence, karasu’s anticipating if he should say what he’s about to say. he usually isn’t this nervous—you’re the exception to that.
“you think you wanna go out sometime, yeah?” it’s the way his sharp eyes soften that makes your heart start doing flips.
“yeah, i do.”
there’s a moment of comfortable silence, your brain ingraving the memory in the back of your head. which of course, quickly gets ruined by his cocky smirk. he wasn’t the best at dealing with these moments
“even y’can’t resist my charm.” karasu sticks his tongue out at you. “ill pick you up at 9.”
“you… get back here!”
shidou could feel a wide grin on his face as he read your message—“sure, i’d love to go sky diving with you!”
anybody would of said that is a crazy idea for a first date, but you? you can say you definitely match his freak.
his heart explodes into a burst of enthusiasm whenever you’re around him. he can feel a rush of serotonin whenever you accidentally brush your hands against his.
oh he was so in love. he is definitely wifing you up when you deploy the parachute- how could he not when he feels like he’s going to explode with all these bottled up feelings.
he in fact had a very disappointed pout on his face when you said it was far too soon for marriage, so what if you’re not dating yet? you can start now!
your betrayal will not be forgotten. but hey, he can try again next year.
sae realised he’s in love with you when you started becoming an avid figure in his daily routine.
it was like muscle memory for him to wake up and check for your good morning text, never failing to emit an amused scoff from his lips.
of course, he acknowledged the fact that he was in love with you. but would he dare entertain the thought and risk the beloved friendship you already have? never.
“nobody’s looking.”
this was dangerous. he has you trapped against the wall in the locker room, his lips tantalisingly close to yours. he wasn’t suppose to be doing this—but how could he resist when you came to see him at practice?
“sae…we can’t here.” you try to be rational, but your breathing is just as heavy as his.
“just shut-“
footsteps. someone was coming. sae pushes you away behind a locker so nobody see’s you, leaning against the wall nonchalantly.
maybe next time he’ll get you.
kaiser took some time to notice his feelings, but even he started getting self conscious of all the excuses he started making to touch you, and the flirting was starting to cross a few boundaries as well.
maybe he’s just lust-driven, that’s all he thought for a while. he chose to distance himself, and you didn’t miss the change in his behaviour.
he thought distancing himself would help ease his feelings.. not make them worse.
he can feel his heart throbbing, mind full with only thoughts of you—is it love or is it lust?
he doesn’t know, he’s never felt like this before. what even is love? thats stupid.
“hey.” he smirks, grasping your hand, a habit of his by now. “what are you up to, schatz?” the light-hearted pet name rolls off his tongue smoothly.
“michael.” you look at him, eyes widening a little. “i haven’t seen you in forever.” his expression slightly wavers at that.
“oh i’ve been.. busy.” he lies, smiling. the truth is, he hasn’t been busy at all. he’s been avoiding you, you and your precious smile.
“its okay.” you pat his shoulder. “i just missed you.”
“i missed you too.” he blurts out unknowingly, slightly flinching at what he said. “i’ve been avoiding you.” he confesses.
your eyebrow’s slightly raise at that. “…why?”
“because.. i don’t know.”
your hands hesitantly reach out. you knew how he was about physical touch, but maybe just this once he needs it.
he bents down a little, his face hitting your shoulder as he reciprocated your hug.
“Ich liebe dich.”
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apologies, some parts aren’t as long as the others. i got lazy ( and have favorites… ✌️) only 7 chrc bc i had no ideas for isagi
3K notes · View notes
jamminvroomvroom · 1 month ago
Text
as sick as it sounds, i loved you first. 2
LN x fem!leclerc reader
PART 2 OF 2 -> read part 1 linked HERE!
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here we go again guys, you know the drill! follows directly on from part 1 because of the silly word count :(
warnings: warnings: 18+!! minors GO AWAY! smut, angst, fluff, kinda enemies to lovers? kinda? r is charles sister oop, miscommunication, both of them are down bad for eachother but they are also extremely dumb! breeding kink, size kink, pain kink (if u squint), unprotected p in v (don’t be silly!)
part 2: 6.1k words
8. i have you.
“you never told me why.” lando blurts.
the sun is setting outside, the pair of you sprawled out over your hotel bed. he’d been in your room for a few hours, tangled with you between the linen sheets. it’s thursday in brazil, and he’d made a beeline for your hotel room after media day wrapped up. he couldn’t explain the anxiety he felt, pooling thickly in the pit of his belly, but it subsided as soon as he saw your pretty face, peeking through the crack in your door.
he’d stayed after, a habit that had been developing of late, when you were both at home in monaco, but it was unusual on a race weekend. you’d pulled out your laptop to do some work, and chucked the remote at him, telling him to put something on netflix. he’d just smiled and obliged, more than willing to stay with you.
“told you ‘why’ what?” you look up from your laptop, confused.
“why you haven’t really been with anyone else.” his voice is small, scared he’s overstepping but he figures he’s seen you naked one too many times to get shy.
“oh.”
you stare off into the dim light of the room for a second, collecting your thoughts, reliving it all.
“you don’t need to tell me, sorry if that was weird-“
“no, uh, it’s fine. it’s a bit tragic really, embarrassing.” you start. “there was a guy, a couple of years ago. he was on my course at uni. he was perfect, flowers on my doorstep once a week, romantic dinners overlooking the harbour.” you reminisce, smiling sadly. “we went on a few dates and he was selling it all perfectly, it was like he was telling me everything i wanted to hear. i trusted him, so i slept with him. it was my first time.” your breath hitches. “next thing i know, he’s telling everyone that will listen that he’s best friends with charles leclerc and that he’s fucked an f1 drivers sister. and, you know, monaco is small. charles and arthur beat the shit out of him.” you laugh, but it doesn’t reach your eyes, which are now glossed over with fresh, stinging tears.
lando slides closer to you, tentatively wrapping an arm over your shoulder.
“it’s always been hard, you know? people trying to get close to me so that they could get close to charles. all my life, it’s been the same shit. i just wanted someone to want me for me, just once.”
you’re crying now, and lando wants to die for causing it.
“hey, ‘m so sorry, honey. i shouldn’t have asked.” he shushes you, pulling you close. he kisses the top of your head gently, and you snuggle further into him.
“no, it’s okay. wanted you to know. that’s why i like this. us.” it comes out just above a whisper.
“that’s why i like us too.” he murmurs. you look up at him, scanning his face.
“what’s your story? charles said something to me once about a bad breakup.” you ask softly. lando sighs.
“she wanted the lifestyle more than she wanted me.” he shrugs.
“i’m sorry.”
“don’t be. i’m better off.” i have you, he wants to add.
“i like the fact that we can’t hurt eachother that way.” you breathe, voicing the sentiment that you’ve both shared since the very first time you were together.
“i like it too, honey. more than you know.”
-
9. ache.
a weight lifts off of him in vegas.
brazil had been a shit show, one that he wanted to forget. one that left him awake for two days avoiding your calls, until you snapped him out of it by showing up at his place anyway, and giving him the best head of his fucking life. he’d slept like a damn baby after that.
he had a week off, after, which he spent in your bed more than his own, and then he was promptly off to nevada, awaiting your arrival a few days later and fixated on clawing something back after brazil, even if it was just pride.
well, that fixation didn’t amount to much, but at least you were there, somewhere, watching and waiting. charles is a wreck, though, storming away from parc ferme, which means you’ll be with him, instead of with lando. he feels selfish at the way it stings.
he’s exhausted when he leaves the track, dead on his feet in the elevator up to his room. he can’t bring himself to join max or george and celebrate. he’ll make it up to both of them another time. his phone buzzes in his pocket and he pulls it out, recognising your contact. he doesn’t even fight the smile that pulls at the corners of his mouth.
packed something special for you. you gonna come find out what?
he’s in love with you. has been for a while.
the attention you pay to him for himl, the way you tease him and laugh with him and let him lose himself in unravelling you. your quick wit, mesmerising eyes, the way you switch languages when he scrambles your brain and you can’t think hard enough to keep speaking english. he’s a goner, and he knows it.
he doesn’t bother replying, just makes a beeline for your room. he’s spent enough time in it already this weekend to make it there without much thought. you’d even left him a keycard, which he retrieves with nimble fingers from his wallet, letting himself into your suite.
he calls your name, rounding the corner and he could die right there, just at the sight of you.
you’re lamplit, knelt on the middle of your bed, wrapped in nothing but intricate, baby pink lace.
“my god.” he pants, jaw dropped. you’re ethereal, gorgeous, a delicate gift wrapped up just for him to open.
“do you like it?” your eyes are wide, daunted.
“what the fuck did i do to deserve you?” he stalks to the end of the bed, shrugging off his jacket, his hoodie, until he’s left in a white vest and team joggers. he kneels down at the foot of the bed, ready to crawl over you. “i love it.”
you flush, grinning sweetly as he crawls over you, pushing you back into the mattress.
“you did this all for me?” lando asks, stroking over a lacy bra strap.
“thought you deserved it.” you purr, but your facade slips for just a minute. “is this okay? never done this before.” you glance up at him with round, doe eyes that make him swallow hard, melting further into you.
“‘s perfect.” he promises. “you’re so perfect.”
lando kisses you softly, his warm skin pressing into yours. you moan quietly into his mouth, holding him close. he thumbs over the lace adorning your bust, stroking it. you squirm every time he brushes your skin.
“wanna be on top. wanna try it.” you pant into his mouth, watching closely as he groans, eyes fluttering as he imagines the sight.
“only if you keep this on.” he bargains, flipping the pair of you over.
you sit up on his lap, smoothing your hands over his chest as his find your hips. he steadies you, playing with the band of your panties, tracing over the pattern.
“can’t believe you did this all for me.” lando coos, taking the opportunity to take it all in, you, flustered and breathtaking, straddling him. dressed up all for him, all his.
“you deserve it.”
“do you think you’re ready for me? lemme see.” his hand skates between your thighs, pressing the pads of his fingers against the crotch of your underwear. he applies pressure against the wet patch that he feels, licking his lips. “were you thinking about me when you were getting all dressed up? thinking about how i’d touch you?”
“yeah,” you nod frantically, grinding down on his fingers. “wanted you all day but i wanted to be good for you.” you pout. you’re gonna kill him, he thinks.
“always good for me.” he applies more pressure, toying with your clit through the lace, the sensation making you quiver, bucking your hips.
“just want you inside of me, lando. i’m ready.” you plead, palming over his sweats. your hand travels further, finding his between your legs. you tug your underwear to the side, and he feels just how wet you are for him.
“you sure, baby?”
there he goes again. baby. your tummy twists.
“yeah, lan, i want it to hurt a little.” you sound so sweet for him and it shreds the rest of his self restraint.
lando sits up just enough to rip off his vest, taps your thigh so that you lift up for a second, long enough for him to shrug off his sweats. when he’s bare, he paws at your hips, helping you to adjust. your fingers wrap around his length and he jolts, mouth falling open as you swipe the head of him through your slit. you sink down, taking just the tip, but it feels like the first time all over again, the angle creating delicious pressure that burns through your pelvis. your eyes squeeze shut and he swirls his fingers over your sides.
“take it easy for me, love.” lando urges, looking up at you with concern.
“i like it. promise.” you choke out, eyes rolling back at the pleasure, the burn.
you continue to slide down on him, sinking further and further until you’re flush against his pelvis. you roll your hips experimentally, your clit brushing against the thatch of hair at his base and you squirm, sensitive.
“want me to help?” he asks through gritted teeth.
“wanna do this for you.” you pant, rocking your hips against his.
the angle is brutal, so intoxicatingly good, and you can already feel yourself leaking all over him. you build up a rhythm, slow and steady, watching the ripple of his abs everytime you sink back down on him, the way his curls fan over his forehead, the veins in his arms bulging as he grips at your waist tighter and tighter.
“you look so pretty, baby, taking me like this.” lando sighs, helping you pick up the pace. you cry out, leaning backwards, fingers gripping his firm thighs.
“it’s so good, you feel so good.” you whine, arching your back.
he’s entranced by the way your breasts bounce, fighting against the skimpy bra and he sinks his teeth into his plush bottom lip, eyeing you hungrily. one hand leaves your waist and travels to the cups of your bra, tugging so harshly that you hear the threads break. he frees your tits, watching in delight as they fall out of the lace confines.
“you’re so sexy, honey, look so beautiful. you’re all mine, aren’t you? this is all for me, right?” lando’s eyes roll back in his head when he feels the way you clamp down around him at his words. he’s gonna fill you up, he thinks, mark you as his from the inside out.
“yeah, lan, all yours.” you slur, fighting the urge to cum. “‘m all yours.”
he can see that you’re tiring, the ache setting in, so he pulls you forward, until you’re chest to chest, wrapped up his his thick arms.
“i’ve got you, baby.” he swears, holding you close as he rolls his hips, fucking up into you.
it’s all too much like this, the constant pressure on your clit, the head of his cock tapping against your cervix, the thrumming of his heart, the cold sweat of his chest peaking your nipples. you let out a strangled cry of his name, and you see white, your nerve endings overstimulated and fried. all you can hear is his voice, pulling your through it and out the other side.
“did so good for me, baby, such a good girl. took it all so well, love.”
you’re limp on top of him, a dead weight curled around him like a life force. there’s nothing that could make him move you, and wouldn’t let you go unless you asked. you lay there in silence, your mixed release leaking out of you. your heart rate steadies, about as much as it can with him around, and you feel yourself blinking away sleep, exhausted. lando notices, of course he does.
“let’s clean up.” he suggests, sitting up carefully with you on his lap.
“carry me?” you request sleepily, a lazy smile painting your face.
“as you wish.” he jokes, bowing his head.
your legs wrap around his waist as he shuffles off of the bed, and he walks to the bathroom, setting you down on the marble sink top. he leans into the shower, adjusting the temperature and turning the water on. he lets it heat up and turns back to you. no words are exchanged as he peels your ruined panties off, as he unhooks your bra and drops its all onto the counter. he tugs you off of the side, guiding your under the stream of water, the warmth making you relax into him. he’s more than happy to prop you up.
“my legs ache.” you giggle, resting your cheek against his shoulder.
“was it worth it?”
“definitely.”
“good.”
he cleans you, massaging soap into your skin, and washing it off. you stay close while he does the same for himself, passing him different products as you clean up together. it’s quiet, nothing needs to be said, and you wonder if this is what life with him would be like. domestic and easy.
“stay.” you let yourself ask, croaking the request out into the silence. you’re both drying off, and he’s gathering he’s clothes.
“i thought you’d want me to go.” he looks like a deer in headlights. cute.*
“stay.” your repeat, and this time it sounds like a plea. he slides his boxers on.
“okay.”
he’s like a furnace under the covers and you can’t help but curl into his side, legs wrapping around eachothers. there’s no going back from this, you fear. he’s thinking the same thing. you kiss his chest as you fall asleep, just a quick press of your lips to his pec, but it makes him hot all over. if the lights were still on, you’d see him blushing. he returns the favour with careful peck to your hairline. you both nuzzle impossibly closer.
“has it ever been like that for you?” you whisper into the darkness. you hear the change in his breathing.
the question is loaded; have you ever felt like this before? was that just sex to you? what are we? what is this? do you want me how i want you?
“never.” it’s barely a whisper
you fall asleep with a smile on your face.
-
when you wake up, he stirs, bronzed arms tightening around you.
“go back to sleep.” he grumbles, pulling your back to his chest.
“i need to catch my flight.” you reply, turning around to face him.
you’re stunned when you see him smushed into the pillow, lips pouty, eye lashes fluttering to clear away sleep. he looks so pretty in the morning light, and you wish you’d asked him to stay the night sooner.
“just fly with me.” lando mutters. you freeze.
“lan, you know i can’t do that. what would that look like?”
“who cares?” he half shrugs behind you, and you wriggle away, sit up in bed.
“uh, me? i care, lando. i can’t be seen flying around with some other driver, do you know how much that would complicate things?”
“some other driver.” he huffs. that gets his attention, and he sits up. “what so we can sneak around, and you’ll let me fuck you, but being on an airplane together is crossing the line?” he grunts sarcastically. you narrow your eyes at him.
“don’t say it like that.” you scold.
“how should i say it, then? i thought maybe this meant something more to you.” he’s standing from the bed now, hurt thick in his voice, and you panic, reaching out for him, but he’s finding his clothes.
“it does! it does mean something to me but… lando, i can’t put charles in that position. i can’t put myself in that position.” you reason weakly, standing and rapidly moving towards him. you pull him to face you, holding onto his shoulders. “don’t go, please.” you whisper, cupping his cheek.
he stares down at you, dejected, a wounded animal, and pushes your hands off of him.
“i, uh. i care about you. a lot. too much, i think. i can’t go through this again, and you can’t hurt your brother. so…” he breathes shakily.
“so?” you plead, shaking your head. “don’t do this, we can…”
“i’m not gonna be ‘some other driver’, honey. ‘m sorry.”
“lando-“
“its okay. this was good while it lasted, and i know you’re gonna find what you’re looking for, without all of the, uh,” he gestures around blindly. “the complications.”
“don’t go.” you whisper, catching his hand. tears pool in the corners of your eyes, distorting him.
“go catch your flight.” he smiles sadly, finally dressed, and then he’s gone.
you stand frozen, taking stock of whatever the fuck just happened.
i care about you.
good while it lasted.
you’re gonna find what you’re looking for.
complications.
you choke out a sob, stumble backwards onto the foot of your bed when it hits you.
you’d already found what you were looking for, and now, he was gone.
-
you’re supposed to go straight to qatar with charles, but you beg him to get you a flight home instead.
he can hear that you’ve been crying, and tells you that he’ll kill anyone that you need him to. you promise it’s fine, through even more tears, tell him that you’ll fill him in when he’s got a minute to breathe.
the ticket lands in your inbox and you flee. you spend the twelve hour flight watching love actually, crying into a glass of wine, and wondering if you should get gracie abrams’ lyrics tattooed on your forehead.
i love you, i’m sorry would be quite fitting right about now.
when you land, you don’t even go home, making a beeline for alex and charles’ apartment instead. when alex lets you in, confused to see your face, leo does laps around your feet. you drop your bags and fall into her arms, sob until your throat is raw and your eyes are bloodshot.
“i fucked up.” you wail, breathing hard.
“lando?” she asks, tentative. she has a knowing look, and your eyes nearly fall out of your head.
“what? how did you-“
“well let’s just say that we saw the DM he sent you, and arthur was actually sat opposite me when you said you were with him.” she admits. you gasp.
“does charles… does he…?”
“oh, sweetie, charles knows nothing. although he did ask me what shoe size you wear after coming to your place a few weeks back. he said something about a pair of birkenstocks that looked huge compared to your other shoes, and i told him that was just the style.” she snorts, and you slap your hand over your forehead.
“oh, jesus.” you whine, hiding your face in your hands.
“wanna tell me what happened?”
“i don’t even know, he asked me to fly with him and then i said it would complicate things, that i couldn’t been seen with, quote on quote, ‘some other driver.’” you sigh.
“some other driver? oh, girl.”
“yep.”
“were you guys dating…? or?”
“no! lately things had been a bit more,” you pause, gathering your thoughts. “intimate? i don’t know. i definitely have feelings for him.”
alex looks at you sympathetically, strokes your knee soothingly.
“have you told him that?”
“no, i didn’t know how and now he’s done with me.” you wince, a fresh wave of tears pricking your eyes.
“maybe not, sweetie, maybe you if you told him how you felt, he’d understand. is charles what you’re worried about?”
“charles, the fans, all of it.” you whimper.
“the fans can be, well, intense, but take it from me, if lando’s worth it, none of that matters. is he worth it?”
you pause, weighing it all up. the way he’d been with you, so gentle and caring, considerate and interested in you. he’d made you feel safe and satisfied, and everytime you caught him looking at you, you felt that first initial spark all over again. you could laugh with him, push and tease and not just be charles leclerc’s little sister. you look forward to seeing him, feeling him, speaking to him. all of this together feels heavy, but you want to bear it.
“he is.” you whisper, looking at alex nervously. “oh, god, what do i do?”
“i think there’s a paddock pass with your name on it that you should make use of.” she tells you, wrapping you in a tight hug. “and if charles has a problem, tell him he has to go through me.”
-
10. pizza and pasta.
max fewtrell sips his coffee in the hotel lobby, waiting for keegan to join him. it’s hot in qatar, dry and bright, ornate.
his phone buzzes.
message request from: yourusername
HI SORRY ARE YOU IN QATAR????
he probably looks like a cartoon character, eyes bulging out of his skull.
another message comes through.
this sounds insane and i’m sorry that this is like, the first time we’ve ever spoken, but i need a huge favour. like a really really huge favour.
max scratches the back of his head, pulling a face at his phone. baffled wouldn’t even begin to cover how he feels.
he picks up his phone, and opens the messages.
-
lando over exerts himself keeping away from you. the sprint race had been a breeze compared to staying away, out of your reach. it hurts like hell, but it’s a necessary evil for both your sakes.
he wants to sleep, do nothing else but collapse onto his mattress, phone silenced and curtains drawn as tightly shut as they can go. he unlocks the door to his hotel room. the light flashes green, and he relaxes, finally. until, he doesn’t.
there’s a faint sound coming from down the short corridor that separates his front door from his sleeping area. it’s not max, he’s just left him outside his own hotel room, and it’s not keegan, either, for the same reason. he wonders if he has another stalker, braces himself and picks up the first thing he can find. a shoe. useless, he thinks.
lando creeps down the corridor, poised and ready, jumps out of his skin when you round the corner before he can get there. you yelp, bracing yourself against the wall.
“what the fuck, i thought you were a murderer!” lando huffs, throwing his head back.
somehow, the sight of you is worse than any murderer could ever be.
“putain! god, i’m so sorry! so sorry!” you squeak.
“how did you get in here?”
“funny story,” you tilt your head to the side, trying to look harmless. “max let me in.”
“verstappen?” lando asks, face twisting with confusion.
“no, idiot. fewtrell.” you reply, duh-like. “i can go, i know this is crazy and weird and a total violation, but i had to talk to you.” your voice softens and lando seems to finally relax. he’ll kill max later.
“this is batshit, actually, but i respect the grind.” lando shrugs. “what do you want?” he sounds harsher than intended, closed off, but you suppose you deserve it.
“i’m sorry about what happened last weekend.” you inhale shakily. “i… i care about you a lot, too, and i have done for a while but i was too scared to say it. i realised as soon as you left that i never ever wanna hurt you like that. never want you to feel like i don’t lo- care about you… like that.” you catch yourself, not ready to say certain words. he gets the gist.
“i don’t wanna be some hookup anymore. it was fine at first, when i thought that’s all i could have from you, but i know that it’s not. i want you.” lando states, his words poignant. “whatever pace you need, whatever you want from me, i wanna give it to you.”
the space between you dissipates.
“i saw you, you know, watching me from your garage all those months ago, like you were trying place me.” your voice is barely above a whisper. “admittedly, i kinda wanted to punch you for ruining that dress, but i also, really really secretly thought you were cute.”
“well, if we’re being honest, i really wanted to fuck you the first time i saw you.” he jokes crudely, and you slap his chest. “in my defence, i was blackout drunk.”
“asshole.” you mutter. you’re so close now that his nose bumps yours.
“i think you like it.” he whispers.
“yeah, i really do.”
your lips meet his urgently, homecoming. it’s been too long since you’ve had him in your hands, touched him and felt him breathe against you. the kiss is passionate, frantic, and you know you’re in love with him. you’re certain.
-
an hour later, you’re tucked into bed with him, a movie that you’re not paying attention to playing idly on the tv. pizza crusts lay on a plate, the leftovers of your impromptu dinner date.
you’ve covered your degree, how he got into racing, what you do for work, who you’re friends are, family dynamics.
you learn that his favourite colour actually is yellow, and he learns that you’re favourite drink is red wine. he prefers pizza, you prefer pasta. you like flat whites, and he doesn’t like coffee at all.
“after abu dhabi, i’ll take you on a real date. i promise.” he sounds excited as he says it, and you melt into his side.
“oh yeah?” you ask, looking up at him, your cheeks smushed against his shoulder. he tucks your hair behind your ear, thumb stroking your cheek tenderly. he just hums in response, gazing down at you.
“gonna talk to your brothers as well.” he murmurs, dipping down to peck your lips.
“not just yet.” you whisper. he furrows his eyebrows.
“why?” he doesn’t sound upset, maybe a little deflated.
“i wanna enjoy this a bit longer, at least go on a real date before, you know, they kill you.” you keep your tone serious, holding it together well. he bursts out laughing, squeezing you closer.
“and here i was worried that you were ashamed of me.” he’s grinning toothily, boyish and pure, and you kiss him again, deeper.
“never.” you coo.
-
11. daylight.
abu dhabi is a distant memory by the time you get back to monaco. you were happy for your brother and your boyfriend.
yeah, that’s what you get to call him now.
your first date had been effortless and yet so intricately perfect, lando planning it down to the last detail. flowers delivered to you the morning of, picking you up at the door, telling you just how beautiful you looked. your table had been waiting for you, candlelit, dressed immaculately. a bottle of red wine served as the centrepiece, your favourite kind. swoon.
he orders pizza, you order pasta. halfway through, you switch plates.
you wake up the next morning in his arms, content and satiated, still bare from the night before. your phone is buzzing, stirring your both out of your deep sleep. you ignore it.
“c’mere.” he begs, breath fanning out across your neck and you wriggle backwards, further into his arms. your naked skin moulds with his, and you can feel him, ready and waiting against the curve of your ass. he’s still half asleep, and so are you, but you spread your legs just enough for him to swipe himself through your folds and slip right in.
you groan at the stretch, he shushes you soothingly, clinging to your frame. everything is so warm and heightened.
“so ready for me.” he whispers, kissing over your shoulder, hips making the most minimal, languid thrusts that make you dizzy.
“want you like this every morning.” you purr, hiking your top leg up even further. he’s basically on top of you now, his body half covering yours.
lando drags your hips back to meet his, breathing heavily against the back of your neck.
“anytime you want me ‘m here. ‘m yours.” lando mutters, eyes rolling back in his head when you clench around him. lewd sounds are exchanged between your lazy bodies, so worked up, two powder kegs desperate to explode.
it happens in waves, powerful orgasms washing over your bodies like the sunlight through the curtains. it’s bright and warm and leaves you buzzing underneath him, electrified.
“good morning.” you smirk, rolling over to face him.
he’s already sunk back down into the mattress, a satisfied grin on his face, eyelashes dusting the tops of his cheeks where his eyes have fallen shut. he looks angelic, and if it wasn’t for his devious ways, you’d hail him a saint.
“very good morning, baby.” lando pants, scrubbing his hands over his face.
“you look so pretty.” you breathe, raking your nails through his hair. he groans, shivers of pleasure radiating through his scalp and down his back.
“not as pretty as you.” he surges forward, pinning you to the bed, the pair of you a hazy mess of limbs and laughter, so wrapped up in eachother. he’s peppering you with kisses, all over you face and your chest, further and further down your body.
round two is about to commence, and you’re more than excited, ready to welcome him back between your thighs, when you both here a loud, repetitive thud coming from faraway. lando pulls back, trying to pinpoint the sound.
“is that the door?” he says to himself. “sorry, baby. need to get that.” he frowns apologetically. you sigh, waving your hand in understanding, watching as he grabs a robe.
-
charles nearly chokes on air and fury when he gets the all caps message from arthur, followed by one from lorenzo, then his publicist.
arthur: HAVE YOU SEEN TWITTER? i don’t know if i should laugh or cry
enzo: be nice to her, don’t be a little bitch
publicist: Charles, we will need to address this news immediately and conclude whether the photos are out of context or not. Meeting scheduled on the shared calendar.
first question: what fucking photos? did someone catch him picking his nose in public?
second question: who does he need to be nice too?
third question: can he not go five fucking minutes without some impending media crisis?
he opens twitter and doesn’t need to look hard, because there on his screen is a picture taken the night before of his precious baby sister, and there is lando fucking norris with his tongue down her throat.
alex asks him where he’s going, watching him storm out keys in hand. he doesn’t respond with anything but a growl and a mutter of your name. alex’s eyes go wide, reached for her phone.
to: your number
girl he knows! idk how but he KNOWS!
for once in your life PICK UP THE PHONE
JESUS OKAY i just saw twitter…
OKAY im tracking charles location rn and looks like he’s near lando’s?
MISS LECLERC PLEASE! HELLO?????
it was nice knowing you babe.
-
you pick up your phone as lando leaves the room, scrolling absentmindedly through your notifications. your interest peaks, however, when you see about a million texts from alex, and even more missed call. in fact, you have literally thousands of notifications, and your blood runs cold.
you’d been so careful last night, surely it hadn’t leaked. your blood runs cold when you open your text chain with alex. the aggressive knocking on the door suddenly makes harrowing sense and you spring from the mattress just in time to hear the front door click.
“is she here?” you hear charles bellow, voice laced thickly with anger.
“uh… who?” lando tries, he really does, but he’s not a good liar. you wince, grabbing anything to cover your dignity: lando’s sweats and a t-shirt. you scramble out of the bedroom, sliding down the corridor from the sheer speed you’re moving at.
“fucking hell.” charles sighs, wincing at the sight of you. “of all the people on the planet, you pick my rival? you pick him?” charles barks at you. you close your eyes, focusing on your breathing as your chest constricts. “i told you. i specifically told you not to mess around with him, and c’mon, i don’t ask you for much.” charles throws his hands out in frustration.
“charles, listen to me,” you keep your voice calm and steady. “we’re not messing around, we… we’re together.” you confirm, watching his jaw tick.
“together? with him? do you know how many girls probably think they’re in a relationship with him? half of the portuguese modelling industry is linked to him.” charles laughs incredulously, disgusted. your eyes narrow, watching lando crumble into a million pieces in your peripheral.
“don’t you dare ruin this for me! and how can you come into his house and speak to him that way? my god, charles, you don’t get it, do you? i can never be happy with anyone because of you! everyone, everyone, uses me to get to you and, god, i finally found someone who cares about me and couldn’t give less of a shit about who you are and you don’t approve? shall i stay single and lonely and in your shadow forever? should i go for some greasy hedge fund legacy who wants to fuck any leclerc he can get his hands on? huh? i’m sorry if you don’t approve, truly, i am, but you will not have a say in this.”
charles stays silent, as does lando, the only sound in the hallway being your heavy breathing, a symptom of your monologue. you feel the ghost of lando’s touch on your waist, soothing you from your outburst, and you lean into his touch, looking up at him. his eyes are reassuring, the only source of comfort.
charles watches intently, the silent communication between you both, and it knocks him for six. ultimately, he wants you to be happy, but it begs the question: can lando make you happy? the way you truly deserve? he sighs, pinches the bridge of his nose, lets out a muttered string of expletives.
“will you look after her?” he stares daggers at lando, watches the way the brit straightens up.
“i will.” lando nods firmly, eyes sincere.
“and you won’t hurt her? you won’t fuck her around?” charles looks like he’s desperately pleading, but his voice is commanding, no margin for error.
“i promise.”
“and you’ll make her happy?”
“i’d do anything for her.”
your head snaps towards lando, the tears you’d been holding back finally breaking the dam. charles watches closely, steps backwards towards the door. there isn’t space for him here right now.
“okay. i- okay.” you watch the way charles backs down, and he finally meets your eyes again. “ma chére, je suis désolé.” he tells you solemnly. you nod, lips in a thin, hard line. you can feel lando nudge you forward.
“come here, loser.” you groan, opening your arms for your brother. charles meets you half way, squeezes you tight. he gently kisses your forehead and turns to leave, not before shooting lando a look that says ‘i’m watching you.’
you turn back to your newfound boyfriend, tears still falling, but you pay them no mind.
“well done, baby.” he affirms, thumbing away your tears.
“i love you, lando.” you whisper, threading your fingers into the curls at the nape of his neck. “thank you.” his eyes glaze over, total adoration swirling in the pools of green.
“so glad you said that because i absolutely love you too.” he laughs, hauling you in for a kiss. it’s a mess of tears and laughter and a weird sense of serenity.
“you might wanna call your publicist. pictures of last night leaked.” you mumble against his lips.
“at least we don’t have to sneak around anymore.” he shrugs. “i’ll call later. got things to do.” he picks you up effortlessly, throwing you over his shoulder. you squeal, and he teasingly slaps your ass.
you catch sight of the apartment as he walks you through it, and you think about the first time you saw it, under the cover of darkness, covert and clandestine.
you much prefer it in the light of day.
you prefer lando in the light of day, too.
yourusername and landonorris just posted on instagram:
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liked by: francisca.cgomes, alexandrasaintmleux, oscarpiastri and others.
yourusername: oops!
comments on this post have been disabled.
-
thank god that’s over lmfao - thank you for reading!!
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hannieehaee · 1 month ago
Text
NEED TO KNOW
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18+ / mdi
summary: with jungkook's lifelong crush also came an aversion to dating anyone who wasn't you. but what would happen when the poor lovesick boy came crying into your arms after finally giving a chance to what turned to be a disastrous date?
content: virgin!jungkook, f2l!jungkook, loser!jk, sub!jk, college au, jk is insanely socially awkward and shy, kook is touch starved, afab reader, smut, dry humping, body worship, reader's lowkey possessive over jk (and vice versa tbh), oral (f and m receiving), handjob, penetrative sex, etc.
wc: 10k
a/n: loser virgin koo but light on the loser and heavy on the virgin
masterlist | patreon
Jungkook often found himself feeling like his life was one of those very shitty romcoms.
Except he had never really felt like the heartthrob, or even like he was the one getting swept off his feet.
No, his experience was more closely aligned with the loser virgin who was tossed aside so the star-crossed lovers could find their way to each other. This was just how it had always been.
Jungkook had watched most of his friends find love with a person he could easily consider their soulmate. He was a romantic at heart, after all. These things were not difficult for him to spot.
He often wondered when his turn would come, except it just never did.
Being one for romance was seemingly not for the weak, as Jungkook found himself passing yet another year as a lovesick fool hoping to find that perfect someone to finally look his way.
Scratch that. Many people looked his way. Even as a self-proclaimed loser, Jungkook received plenty of attention from boys and girls alike. Looks were often thrown his way, but they were never the looks he wanted to receive.
Sure, he could easily reciprocate the appreciation he received for his looks. He could smile back, maybe even ask for their number and then see where it all led afterwards.
Except that Jungkook needed the romance. He needed to be swept off his feet (or maybe the reverse, it depended on his mood). Jungkook needed a soulmate.
It all just became eternally more complicated when Jungkook insisted on having that person be you.
That and the fact that Jungkook was slightly, how to put it, socially inept. He was shy, anxious, unable to read social cues, and basically just an overall mess. But the worst of all was his undying crush on you, this he knew.
It was a tale as old as time. Falling for your best friend, pining after them for years, hoping one day they'd turn around and realize you'd been here all along. And now on year nine of knowing you, it still hadn't happened. Jungkook remained a sad, lonely virgin awaiting for you to grant his romcom wish and make him into the love interest.
It didn't really help how painfully socially awkward Jungkook was. Truly, he was surprised you'd stuck by his side for this long despite that. There was no way Jungkook would ever want to risk ruining your current relationship in favor of something he knew would never work out. You did not like him back, these past nine years made him very well aware of that.
And so, as a result, his friends had the grand idea of setting him up.
Not once, not twice, but countless times.
However, Jungkook being Jungkook, never agreed to it. Not once had his friends been able to reel him out of his dorm long enough to entrap him into a date.
Jungkook simply saw no point in it. Blind dates were the complete antithesis of Jungkook's beliefs about romance. He needed a connection before even considering entering a romantic relationship. The thought of going on a date with someone he'd never met before unnerved him to no end.
Plus, he was convinced no one would ever actually like him past his looks. There had been far too many instances of him being on the receiving end of insults to his personality or not-so-subtle stink eyes thrown his way. To have that happen to him whilst on a blind date was just a huge no.
Jungkook found himself stuck in an endless limbo. A loveless, endless limbo as he pined after the one person he could never have.
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"You're going. No isn't an option here," deadpanned Namjoon, hitting Jungkook lightly to the back of his head with a rolled up magazine — almost as if he were a puppy receiving a scolding.
Well, that's pretty much how Jungkook had been feeling these days.
For the past week or so, Jungkook had been down in the dumps (even more than usual), making his unrequited crush everyone else's problem through his constant sighs and unsolvable complaints. You truly were the only person in Jungkook's life who didn't fall victim to his lovesickness — for obvious reasons.
There was a very reasonable cause for Jungkook's souring mood, though.
You were seeing someone.
Maybe.
At least that's the impression Jimin had given Jungkook when he mentioned some guy you'd been texting lately.
Jungkook had no further evidence, but the mere thought was enough for his heart to begin cracking.
He always knew this was a one sided love, but the confirmation was entirely too hurtful for Jungkook to take. Apart from that, the thought of you not telling him also added to the hurt.
This only caused Jungkook's lovesickness to worsen, making him become a leech at his other friends' sides as he allowed himself to rot. Maybe it sounded dramatic, but Jungkook felt the situation was drastic enough to justify his reaction.
It was unfortunate that Jungkook's friends cared so much for him. Had they simply allowed him to rot in his own self-inflicted misery, he wouldn't have found himself at the receiving end of Kim Namjoon's wrath as he scolded at him to go on the date he'd set up for him with his lab partner.
To be fair, his friends had offered him many options. They'd tried to get Jungkook out of his shell and wingman him in order to find a girl for himself. They'd attempted to get him to confess to you. Hell, they even putting Jungkook on dating apps where he had full control of who, when, and how he met a partner. But Jungkook rejected every option.
This was not good enough for Kim Namjoon.
After having dealt with a heartsick Jungkook for far too long, he gave him an ultimatum. Either he confessed to you, or he'd have to at least attempt a date with a nice girl of Joon's choosing.
So, it seemed like Jungkook was going on a date.
"Sora's going to hate me. I make a terrible date. Last time I went on a date, I panicked when my date tried to kiss me and closed the door on her face. I'm pretty sure I slammed it her nose," Jungkook whined as he rubbed at the back of his head.
"Jungkook, believe it or not, girls do like you. Sora asked me to set you guys up. C'mon, just try it out. This could be that romcom romance you're always talking about."
"Doubt it," he murmured sadly, "But fine. I guess I have nothing to lose."
Namjoon clapped his hands gladly, proceeding to pat Jungkook's back in encouragement, "Good! It'll go great, Jungkook, don't worry."
"I- I don't even know what to wear or what to say, I-" Jungkook found himself begin to panic, "What if-"
"Jungkook," Joon interrupted, "You're overthinking this. Sora's a nice girl. She's been asking me about you since you stopped by my bio class that one time. She's probably excited about this, there's nothing for you to worry about," he reassured.
Still, Jungkook remained overly anxious about it. Also, how was he supposed to explain this to you? He didn't want you to think that he, that he was interested in pursuing other girls. It was a dumb thought to have, but he couldn't help it. What if the feelings were somehow, by some act of god, reciprocated and Jungkook was ruining it by going on a date with someone else? It wasn't like he could possibly hide this from you. You were best friends, for god's sakes!
But one more look to Joon's annoyed expression told Jungkook that he could under no circumstance call this off.
And so he was going on a date.
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When the day of the date arrived, Jungkook was even more nervous than he had imagined.
He had no one to ask for advice, no one to confide in so that his nerves didn't go overboard and drove him to insanity.
Okay, he could've easily asked one of his closest friends like maybe Jimin? Or perhaps Taehyung? Maybe even Mingyu. They were all very successful with dating, whether that be casually or long-term. Jungkook was really the only outlier in his friend group to fail miserably at the dating aspect of life.
And every other social aspect, really.
Unfortunately, there was only one person that could provide Jungkook with the comfort and reassurance he needed right now. And that was you.
You, however, were the one person Jungkook could simply never tell about this.
Regardless of the endless times he'd convinced himself that you did not care for him in any way other than platonic, the fear of somehow disappointing you by going on a date with someone else completely prevented him from even considering telling you. It was stupid and delusional, but, well, so was Jungkook.
The very (extremely) small thought that maybe you liked him back continued to bug him even as he got dressed for his date. He'd subconsciously dressed in an outfit he knew you liked on him and had even done his hair the way that usually had you running your fingers through it. In his head, there was a battle between pleasing you despite your absence from this date, and feeling immense guilt over it.
Somehow, Jungkook managed to push those thoughts aside, choosing to try and calm himself down as he waited for the time to arrive.
He attempted to implant happy thoughts into his mind. The possibility of this date going well was one among them. What if Sora was a perfect match for him? What if this was what he should've done years ago instead of closing himself off to relationships due to his hopeless crush? Who knows, maybe he'd fall in love and become a former virgin within a few months.
But then life decided to catch him off guard again with a sudden knock on his door.
He knew in his heart who it could be, but he senselessly hoped it was anyone but you, knowing he'd panic with your sudden presence.
Walking over to check the peephole, he was met with a sight he usually enjoyed seeing — you, smiling in the direction of the peephole, knowing he was watching on the other side of the door.
Hesitating a bit, he opened the door, attempting to decrease the acceleration of his heart. Was there any way he could lie to you about his plans and get you out of here within less than ten minutes? According to his phone, it was 6:32, which meant he needed to get his ass out of his apartment in the next fifteen minutes if he wanted to make it on time for the reservation Sora had made for 7.
This might've been the downside to telling you you could come over unannounced at any time. Usually, Jungkook was either at home or with you, so this arrangement had not caused any issues until now.
Upon opening the door, he was immediately caught in a simple, yet sweet hug — you were a huge hugger, a blessing and a curse to poor, touch-starved Jungkook.
You entered the apartment as soon as you pulled away, making your way inside as if you owned the place (which, you kinda did, considering how often you were here). It took you a few seconds to register Jungkook's dressed-up appearance and inevitably comment on it, interrupting your usual greeting to him.
"Oh? You're all dressed up. I love that shirt on you," you fixed at his collar as you said so, "Do you have plans today? You look really handsome."
Well, Jungkook's unofficial goal of impressing you had been accomplished. Too bad you weren't the girl he was going on a date with tonight.
After your question, you'd moved further into Kook's apartment, making your way to his couch with ease only a true best friend would have. You even grabbed at the chips Kook had left on the coffee table earlier, disregarding your surroundings due to the level of comfort you felt at his place.
"Oh, uh, I ... Joon actually set me up on a date tonight," he decided to go with the truth. Jungkook knew that he'd feel better with your encouragement at the end of the day. Maybe that was what he needed in order to calm his nerves. That, and some sort of official confirmation that he had no chance with you. Perhaps that'd be enough to get him to snap out of his delusions.
He felt bad about it as soon as your face dropped. Or maybe he imagined it. It went back to normal immediately after.
"Oh," you paused, "That's- wow. Congrats, Kook. Who's the lucky girl?", you asked as if it meant nothing. As if him going on a date wasn't a life changing event.
Which maybe it wasn't for you. Kook knew you didn't like him like that, but the stupid hope prevailed for some reason. He was driving himself insane with the idiocy behind the thought, but his hopeful nature couldn't help itself.
"Uh, you know, just some girl from Joon's class. Her name's Sora. We're, uh, going to some fancy restaurant tonight."
"Oh, fuck, did I interrupt you? Sorry, Kook. You should've told me," another flash of something made its way to your expression, but it left as fast as it came as you stood from your seat and walked back to him.
"You, uh, you look amazing, Kook. She's going to fall in love with you for sure," you smiled sweetly at him, fixing his collar again in a manner that had him screaming internally.
He didn't want anyone but you falling in love with him, but it's not like he could actually express that to you without putting your friendship at risk. So, he gave you a tight lipped smile and accepted your compliment with a scrunch of his nose.
"Is it time for you to leave? I'll leave you alone. Wouldn't want to interrupt you in case the date goes well," you went to joke, chuckling lightheartedly as you usually did, but Jungkook swore there was something off in your tone. Call it wishful thinking.
"You don't have to leave," he mumbled.
"It's okay, Kookie. Good luck with your date," you went to pick up your bag that you'd put down when you came in before approaching him by the door once more, "Here. For good luck," and a soft kiss was pressed against his cheek.
He stood there dumbly after that. Maybe he mumbled a thank you or a see you later, he wasn't too sure. He was far too distracted by your proximity and touch and then suddenly he was alone again.
Kisses on the cheek weren't exactly a tendency for you. They practically never happened. At least not with Jungkook's aversion to intimate touch. Hugs were usually as far as you two went due to his shy demeanor in that area. Perhaps you were somehow asserting your place in his life? But it was most likely not from a place of possessiveness as Jungkook's dumb mind wished for it to be. You were just genuinely the sweetest girl he'd ever met, and so you kissed him with the best of intentions. Jungkook would just have to keep it in the back of his mind for his date.
... Which was starting quite soon, he realized as he finally rushed to leave.
With one last resigned sigh, he looked at himself in the mirror and finally made his way out, hoping tonight would be the first step to getting over his rom-com wish of being with you.
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Jungkook's nerves did not diminish on the drive to the restaurant, much less as he walked in and was led to his reservation. It was a bit of a shock to him to find Sora already sitting there, but perhaps it was a sign that she actually liked him. Sometimes it was difficult for Jungkook to believe anyone could possibly be into him romantically. He knew people found him attractive and had been prepositioned many times in his life, but no one had ever actually shown interest any further than that. Maybe it was how socially awkward he was, or perhaps how insistent he was on chasing after you in particular.
He shook these thoughts out of his mind for the time being, opting to arrive over to his date as quick as possible.
"Hi," he said dumbly as he took a seat across from her.
"Hi, Jungkook," she smiled back.
She did not seem as nervous as Jungkook did. She seemed quite calm actually, which only made Jungkook more anxious. That and the way she'd checked him out as he sat, but he'd put that thought into the back burner for now.
"Uh, sorry if I kept you waiting," he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, not knowing what to do with his hands.
"Don't worry about it. I'd have waited longer if necessary," then she leaned over the table, as close as she could through the distance and whispered, "I've been waiting for a chance with you for a while."
Okay, that was forward. Was that good?
"Oh, uh, well, I, uh, I hope I don't disappoint you, then," he felt himself blush.
She gave him a smile that made him feel as if she was in on some joke he was unaware of, "You won't. Trust me," and that was that.
The waiter came soon after and wrote down their orders, offering them some breadsticks and beverages as they waited. It was pretty calm during that time. Maybe even too calm.
The conversation didn't exactly flow naturally between the two. It was a little static here and there, forcing Jungkook to think of ice breakers for first dates that he'd seen on some Buzzfeed article he'd read back in high school, back when he was first introduced to the idea of dating.
Sora was nice and extremely pretty, but Jungkook did not feel that spark he'd always hoped for. He should've known the moment he walked in. There were no bells playing nor did he feel dizzy at the sight of her. Jungkook knew these were unrealistic measures to find the love of his life, but they had been present when he met you and still remained prevalent in his current feelings for you. With Sora, however? It was as if he was awkwardly making conversation to his science partner after having finished a project — it was just filling the silence.
But Sora looked happy. She continued to smile at him, giggle harder than Jungkook would expect (his humor wasn't really at its peak performance tonight), and would even reach over to grace at his arm every so often. When the food came, she made eyes at him as she ate. It was a pretty sight, but her intentions confused Jungkook. Was she flirting with him?
He felt out of his league in this situation. Like there was some context he didn't have.
And then the other shoe dropped.
Sora began playing footsie with him under the table, interrupting him as he responded to some benign question she'd asked about his major. She hummed in response, tilting her head to the side and biting her lip flirtatiously at him. It unnerved Jungkook, causing him to stutter endlessly at the contact. God, he was so unaccustomed to touch; any kind of touch, really. Sure, you and him hugged from time to time, but he avoided any further touch, knowing he'd make an embarrassment out of himself if you ever did anything similar to what Sora was doing.
You'd never questioned his proclivity against intimate touch. You just respected it, keeping touch to a minimum and letting him take the reins any time you hugged or lounged on the same couch — there was the very rare cuddling, but it never went further than shoulders pressed up against each other.
It's not as if Jungkook was a germophobe or anything of that genre. He was quite fine with pats on the back, handshakes, hell, even tackling when playing sports, but it was the more intimate touches he stayed away from. He just felt entirely out of place, knowing he'd embarrass himself somehow. Thankfully, he'd never been in such a situation until now.
Jungkook didn't want to judge Sora too harshly by how forward she was being. It was nice to be wanted, especially by someone as appealing as Sora. It wasn't her fault that he was a little socially inept when it came to relationships. No, that was entirely on him.
He'd seen countless romance movies and had even watched as all his friends interacted with their significant others. Jungkook knew what was expected in a relationship, yet he just wasn't feeling it with Sora. Any time you touched him, he found himself wanting more but holding back due to how much more he wanted. In this instance, he just felt nervous as to what type of touch would come next from the girl sitting across from him.
Then came the question.
"Wanna get out of here?", she smiled after dessert, the same flirtatious grin on her glossy lips.
Jungkook physically gulped at the implication, but somehow found himself responding.
"O-okay."
Was that enthusiastic enough?
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Jungkook had been a gentleman. He'd walked Sora home, held her hand, and pulled her close to him as they swung their hands back and forth. It was nice. Sora was a really nice girl when she wasn't fucking Jungkook with her eyes — was that what she'd been doing? He wasn't exactly sure.
But his question was answered pretty quickly.
Kook had insisted on walking her all the way up to her apartment. She lived off campus and it was after dark, it just seemed like the proper thing to do. Even if the date hadn't been exactly what he'd hoped (through no real fault of Sora's), he wanted to remain polite to her.
Turning to him as they stepped foot in front of her door, Sora's hand went to rub at his arm, thumb feeling at the skin of his bicep in a sensual(?) way. Her eyes deemed slightly hooded and her grin was still present.
She took two steps forward, taking his lack of movement as indication he was okay with her coming closer. Which he was, but he was still anxious about it. Would she kiss him? Should he kiss her?
Her arms wrapped at the back of his neck, the hold causing him to lean down slightly. His balance left him at the sudden proximity, making him naturally wrap his arms around her waist. He kept the touch as feather-light as possible, not wanting to cross any boundary.
That's when she kissed him.
And it wasn't just any kiss. It wasn't like the two or three kisses Jungkook had shared with other girls in the past — no mere peck or short-lived kiss. Sora was very forward with her kiss, making Jungkook yelp in surprise as he tried to follow.
He kept at it only for a few moments before attempting to pull away with shy mutters and excuses, 'wait,' 'shit, i-' and 'maybe we shouldn't' were a few of them, with the last one finally making her fully pull away.
"I-I'm sorry, I'm just not sure I want to ...", he grimaced at himself, feeling like an idiot.
Sora was a pretty girl, clearly into him and seemingly willing to put up with his weird personality. Jungkook was simply being an idiot, thinking that he could go on a date and suddenly be over his years-long crush and-
"What? What do you mean?" she interrupted his thoughts, looking rather peeved off.
"I, uh, I mean that, uh, maybe we should wait? I don't wanna rush things and-"
Just as he pulled out the first excuse he could think of, — What, Jungkook? Were you really thinking of going out with her again or would you just ghost her? — she interrupted him again.
She looked at him with clear annoyance overtaking her features, arms on her hips as she moved her weight from one foot to another. Anyone who saw her could clearly see some sort of frustration in her demeanor.
"Jungkook, what did you think this was?", her tone was incredulous, "What was the point of all this?"
"W-what do you mean?"
She scoffed.
Okay, she didn't look as happy to be there anymore.
"We to some shitty restaurant late at night, I invite you back to my place, we kiss. What did you think I was expecting from all this?" she continued.
Jungkook was pretty sure he knew the answer, but he was too mortified to actually respond.
It was sex, right? Sora had seen this as a hookup rather than a date.
God damn you, Namjoon.
"I- it's not-"
"I thought you were interested. Hell, Joon said you kept asking him about me. That you were into me," she groaned, "I should've known. Everyone knows you're a prude. I've seen you shut down other girls, I just thought maybe I'd be an exception," she continued, confusing Jungkook further.
Fuck, had Joon tried setting him up with Sora? Jungkook knew his heart must've been in the right place, but he had probably misread Sora. They were clearly not compatible.
Jungkook kind of felt like he was going to cry. He felt so embarrassed by the situation. And there was no way he could clarify the white lie Joon had told her. It'd just exasperate her more.
"Do you have nothing to say? Should I just go into my apartment now?"
Jungkook looked at his shoes in remorse, feeling as if he'd actually done something wrong.
Kissing her had been a mistake. He should've stayed as he was, waiting for the perfect girl to come around. Should've trusted his gut despite Joon's insistence.
"I'm sorry. I, I didn't mean to lead you on."
She scoffed again, "Yeah, clearly. You should just go. And tell Joon to never set me up again," and with that, she'd entered her apartment, slamming the door on Jungkook in the process.
Jungkook stood there for a minute or two as he contemplated what had just happened.
Part of him was glad it had stopped where it did, while another part felt like an idiot for not going through with it. Granted, he had not expected such a big reaction to his rejection, but he could've used this opportunity to lose his virginity, maybe force himself to move on from you.
But Jungkook knew that would've been an even more disastrous experience. He didn't want to sleep with anyone just to get it over with. He wanted love. He wanted you.
With his tail between his legs, Jungkook went back home, disappointed at his first attempt at putting himself out there. He also made a mental note to spit in Joon's soup or something.
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The way back home had been a mess of emotions.
Jungkook went from embarrassed, to angry, to confused, and ended up settling on mortified. That, and pathetic. That feeling seemed to always be present in Jungkook's mind, but tonight he felt a little more pathetic than usual.
I mean, he had had, by all means, what could be considered a perfect date. He had a girl who clearly wanted to take things further, yet he panicked like an idiot and caused her to blow up at him. At that moment Jungkook couldn't really find it in him to blame Sora for her reaction. He should've realized from Sora's advancements that she'd want more from him and shouldn't've fed into it throughout the night.
He wondered what you'd think of it all.
Would you have found Sora's reaction reasonable? Would you have comforted him after such a mortifying night.
Well, it turned out Jungkook would find out sooner than expected.
Despite your denial to his offer of staying over at his place while he was gone, he still found you sitting on his couch as soon as he entered the threshold of his apartment - you did have a key, after all.
You got up as soon as you saw him come in, clearly having been expecting him. Your demeanor did not seem as casual and laid back as it had a few hours ago. On the contrary, you looked troubled.
But Jungkook was sure he looked equally as troubled, if not more. He felt shock at seeing you there despite having left earlier, but it soon left him due to bigger matters taking over his mind at the moment.
"Kook," you started, putting your weight on your knees as you knelt on the couch.
"Uhm, hi. What- what are you doing here?"
He was hesitant in making his way to his own couch. Your presence was unnerving him for some reason (well, at least a different reason than usual). He could feel something different in the air. Your demeanor wasn't your usual.
You wrapped your arms around yourself, looking down to your lap.
"I don't- I'm not really sure."
That was unlike you.
"I thought you didn't want to stay in case I, uh, I brought Sora back home."
He didn't mean it in an accusatory manner, but perhaps his disheartened demeanor made it sound as such.
"Sorry, I can leave. I- I'll leave," you went to get up, but were swiftly stopped by Jungkook when he walked over to you, closing the distance.
"Don't- Please don't go. I could use the company," he offered you a loop-sided smile, hoping it didn't give away how shitty he was feeling.
You looked up at him now with the closer proximity between you. Jungkook knew you could probably see the glassiness in his eyes due to tonight's events. He hadn't cried on his way home, per say, but he had been pretty damn close to. And you, being you, would probably be able to clock it immediately.
"Are you okay?", you finally asked.
"It was just ... a very shitty day," he chuckled despite himself.
The two of you took a seat on the couch, the tension somehow still loud.
"What happened?"
"Oh, you know. I was kind of dumb to think a girl could possibly like me like that. Joon meant well, but ... it's just not for me, I guess."
He wanted to diminish it. To keep it vague so he wouldn't have to open that can of worms. The can of worms that were his deep-seethed insecurities and his never ending crush.
Turning your body to face him, your eyebrows furrowed in worry, bottom lip sticking out a bit in a subtle pout.
"Jungkook," your voice was serious, "Tell me what happened."
"You first," he rebutted, "Tell me why you're here."
He surprised himself a bit. Usually he had no problem letting you comfort him when he was down in the dumps. But something about your demeanor needed to be addressed first. That small seed of hope in the back of his mind was twinkling at it. Could it be? Had you stayed because-
"I didn't want you to bring her back home," you said after a few moments of silence, voice almost a whisper.
Your eyes were forcefully shut and a breath left you. It was as if it had been a huge weight on your shoulders. Though you didn't seem more relaxed at letting it out. If anything, you appeared even more pent up.
And Jungkook? His body was reacting to such a statement. The implications behind it had his heart racing and his hands clamming up. It'd be a punishment beyond belief if it didn't mean what he thought he meant.
But still, he asked.
"Why?"
"Please don't make me say it."
"I need you to. Please."
Sora was completely out of his mind despite the conversation orbiting around her. All he was thinking about was the pained tone in your voice when you'd said you didn't want her back here with Jungkook.
He felt sickly at the strange satisfaction that brought. Your pain was the last thing Jungkook could ever want, but this was the kind of pain Jungkook could remedy. Only one word from you — or rather, three — and he'd take it all away. He just needed a bit more from you to not risk it all. He needed you to take the risk, however selfish that might've been.
You opened and closed your mouth a few times, but never garnered the courage to actually say something. It was rare for you to not speak your mind around Jungkook, and that knowledge only made his heart race more. Wanting to encourage you, he scoot over a bit closer, placing his hand atop your own that was lying on your lap.
A soft smile was his reward for such an action. That and the brushing of your fingers before fully grasping his hand in yours. He loved holding your hand, even if he rarely allowed himself to do so.
"Why didn't you want me to bring her back home?", he asked again.
You sighed, nodding to yourself in what seemed to be self assurance before turning your eyes to his and finally speaking.
"Because I like you. And it would've killed me if you lost your virginity to someone else," you said in one quick breath. Your confidence pretty much left you after that. "I know that makes me a hypocrite, but I- I can't help it. I like you so much it hurts. I was never going to tell you, but I had no idea how much it'd actually affect me if you ever got a girlfriend," you continued, hand squeezing his own every so often, "I thought I'd be ready to see you find someone else and take that as a sign to move on but, fuck, I felt like shit walking out of here this afternoon knowing you were going to see another girl."
By the time you'd finished your confession, your eyes were glassy. They weren't really facing Jungkook's anymore, but he could still tell. His eyes were glassy too.
His heart had stopped within first sentence. He wasn't sure how he was currently sitting up, somehow not having passed out at the initial confession. He also found himself completely mute, unable to react to what was a life changing moment for him.
"Kook?", you called his attention, hand letting go of his own and retracting into yourself, "I kinda need you to say something here," you let out an awkward chuckle, eyes wide and worried in contrast.
"I- I, fuck," he stammered, "I almost slept with Sora tonight," was what he had not planned to say whatsoever, but still somehow found leaving his lips.
"Oh."
Yes. 'Oh.'
"Wait, I didn't mean-"
But you stood up, still refusing to look at him.
"I should go. I'm sorry if I got in the way of your plans."
You tried to push past him, but he towered over you, stubborn in letting you leave but still too panicked to return your sentiment.
He felt like a complete and utter piece of shit.
"Wait, please don't go," he pleaded, hand bracketing around your wrist.
"I think I embarrassed myself enough, Jungkook."
"You didn't! Please, I don't know why I said that. It wasn't true, I- I couldn't go through with it. That's what I meant to say," that seemed to get you to stop fighting him, but your sniffled and glassy eyes remained.
"It's fine, Jungkook. You don't have to try and spare my feelings. I knew it wasn't mutual, I didn't mean anything by it, I-"
That was seemingly what broke the camel's back.
"It is mutual! I'm in love with you!", he interrupted, surprising himself even more than you.
Quiet fell for a few moments, breaths as heavy as the tension of the room.
"What?"
"That's why I could never go on dates. Why I always said no when the guys set me up. Why I shut you off any time you got a boyfriend ... Why I stopped things with Sora before they could go too far."
His admission got you to finally look at him. The look in your eyes was indescribable to Jungkook. He'd never seen it before. There was shock mixed with something else. Perhaps hope? That's more or less what he felt at the moment.
"Are you lying to me?", you asked in a sudden shift of demeanor, now a serious edge to your tone.
"What? N-no! I- I love you. I've been in love with you for years. You can ask any of the guys. It's embarrassing and time-consuming, but it's always been there. I swear it's-"
That's as far as Jungkook got. He'd never be able to recall what other embarrassing detail about his crush he was about to share, but he found himself unable to care as soon as he realized what the source of his interruption was.
This kiss was incomparable — despite having shared a heavy kiss with someone else less than an hour prior.
No, this kiss was full of emotions Jungkook would need a thesaurus to describe. He was completely out of his league (but, really, when was he not?), lips attempting to follow your hungry ones but losing the battle.
The discrepancy in experience between the two of you was entirely too visible in the kiss, but Jungkook wasn't complaining. He was getting the better end of the stick and you didn't seem to find any issue, so he just counted his blessings and continued to kiss you to his heart's desire.
Your tongue sucked at his own, making his eyes roll back. His hands, which were usually shy in touching you, were greedy in grabbing at and squeezing any part of you available to him. The usual shyness was replaced with sheer need.
Usually, he would've been embarrassed by the needy whimpers he kept leaving against your lips, but he was too into it to stop. You'd reward every whimper with a slight pull of his hair, so he saw it as a good sign and allow himself to let loose.
When he was almost out of air, you pulled away, though Jungkook's lips attempted to follow, not wanting a single second of separation from you. He was able to steal two pecks and one lick of lips before you pressed your arms against his chest to stop him.
"I'm in love with you too," you were breathless as you said it, "I just thought it was safer to tell you I liked you to, you know, preserve some of my dignity in case it wasn't mutual," you chuckled.
Jungkook's mind was somewhere in Kansas at the moment, not really paying full attention to your words. Knowing you loved him back was life-changing, but the monkey-brained part of him was itching for more of your touch at the moment.
"Where'd your mind go?", you giggled when you took note of his dazed look.
Your hands went to pull him closer once more, which he accepted immediately by locking his arms around your waist.
"What? I, uh, nothing," he mumbled, eyes not meeting your own.
God, how had he gotten horny over a simple kiss?
You caught on quickly, grinning up at him as you attempted to fish at his eyes, following his head any time he tried to turn away from your view but failing. It was comedic in contrast to how tense things had just been.
"What's wrong, Kookie?", you sing-sang, "Something on your mind?"
He gave you what he was sure was a pathetic, pleading look, "Please don't be mean to me. My brain's barely catching up to what's happening," he whined.
"I get to be mean for you. You almost slept with another girl tonight," you huffed jokingly.
With a wince, he groaned, to which you just giggled, causing him to drop his head into your shoulder.
"That's not fair."
"I think it's pretty fair. Here I was, pining over you and you're out there about to give it away to some random girl," you continued.
His response came in the form of nuzzling into your neck, encouraged by your arms pulling him closer.
"Stop," he whined, "It was so shitty. I hated it."
You pulled him away from the comfort of the crook of your neck (much to his dismay) to look at him once more. Luckily for him, your arms were still on his shoulders, allowing him to retain close proximity to you — he was unsure how he'd ever accept any distance between you from now on.
There was some worry in your eyes. Or at least that's what the furrow in your brows and the slight pout made him think.
"What happened?"
"Oh, uh, it was nothing. She just ... I guess Joon's not that good at matchmaking," he explained, not really finding it worth it to go back to that moment. Not when he had something so much better now, and weirdly enough as a result of his shitty night.
You offered him another pout, reaching up to give him a sweet kiss as an acceptance of him not wanting to give too many details.
"Mmm, wait, not yet," he mumbled when you went to pull away, this time successful in keeping your lips locked.
Despite your giggle in response, you continued kissing him, soon going back to the pace you'd had during your earlier kiss. It soon turned heavy and wet, making Jungkook's mind daze once more.
Jungkook was on a mission, refusing to let the kiss end. Putting his all into the kiss, he allowed you to take his mind away, making him all but literally melt at your touch. Matching sighs left you, the sound mixing with the squelch of your tongues licking and sucking at each other.
Eventually, Jungkook turned around — lips still connected — and let himself be pushed to sit back on the couch, with you straddling his lap as a result. The newfound warmth of your body atop his own made him dizzy with desire. It was a feeling he'd never experienced before, and it was quickly growing addictive.
A high whine was left against your lips when your hands moved onto his hair, pulling at it softly at first and increasing the intensity based on his sounds. He melted under you, knowing he'd be willing to let you do whatever you wanted to him without even having to ask.
Hands explored your body, feeling an innate need to map out every inch and pull you as close to him as possible, almost to the point of molding with one another.
Your lips explored his neck for a bit, occasionally nibbling and licking at the skin. The contrast between the warmth of your breath and the coolness of your tongue had him sighing out in pleasure.
Who would've thought having his neck kissed could feel so orgasmic?
He wasn't sure whether he was happy or frustrated when your lips found his own again. As petulant as it sounded, he wanted your touch everywhere, all at once. His skin was burning, as were his loins — and no contact further than some kissing had been done.
"Mm, Kook-" you failed at interrupting the kiss, trapped into another and another, "Shit, Kook," you tried again, but easily fell back into it, letting Jungkook lick into your mouth, "Wait, baby."
Baby?
Okay, that stopped him.
"What's wrong?", Jungkook was sure he looked completely gone. His eyes were still glued to your lips and his chest heaved with his heavy breath.
"Are you sure you want to keep going with this? I don't want to push you," you asked, breath equally erratic.
He could've laughed at the question.
There was no doubt in his mind that he needed to keep going. His body was already about to explode, and you were asking him if he wanted to stop? He felt let out a silent whine at the mere suggestion of stopping.
He kissed you again, hands gripping your hips and instinctively pulling you closer.
You took this as a hint to crumble his sanity even further by beginning to grind on him, slow yet intensely. It had him hiccuping in pleasure against your lips, sighing out and allowing you access to his open mouth.
"Please- oh, fuck, please," he pleaded for nothing in particular.
"Is this okay?," you asked uselessly.
Jungkook nodded, letting his head fall back to the back of the couch as his hips pathetically humped up along with yours. There was no direct contact, but the mere stimulation had Jungkook's eyes seeing white. It was reminiscent of all those nights he'd grow too frustrated with himself and begin humping at his pillow with you in mind. He'd always been too embarrassed to acknowledge such a deprived act, but at least he could now confirm there were no grounds for comparison.
"It's so good, fuck. Want- want more."
By then, you were humping at each other like deprived animals, gasping and crying out at the contact.
Jungkook was unsure when you'd thrown off your shirt, far too distracted by the feeling of you on top of him, but his ability to think completely left him at that moment. Your hands let go of him, instead grabbing at your breasts and playing with yourself right in front of him.
It was like a wet dream come to life, mocking him by showing him how weak and pathetic he was.
The sight had him let out an embarrassing whimper. His face reflected how pained he felt at the view, so needy and painfully horny for you.
"Y-you're so ... Fuck, please, I need- can I ... ?"
He wasn't sure what sentence he was trying to make, but the ability to feel shame had exited his mind a good while ago. To be frank, Jungkook wasn't even sure what reality he was in at the moment. The only thought occupying his mind was your body testing his resolve in a way that he knew would ruin him.
You nodded, biting your lip to prevent a smile of satisfaction as Jungkook let his head fall in between your breasts, lips immediately mapping out the are through kisses and needy flicks of the tongue. He grew immediately obsessed with the feeling of your skin under his touch. It was soft, supple, just perfect to the touch. The scent of your perfume was even stronger now, and Jungkook knew then that the smell alone could probably condition him into a boner from now on.
His hips became frantic then, almost pushing you off him with their intensity. But you took it, silently leading him with your own movements as you held onto him for support.
He was beginning to lose himself, knowing an orgasm was approaching. The fleeting thought of your own orgasm made its way into his mind, but it was quickly gone when you started to breathe out encouragements for him to cum, claiming you were right there with him, that you needed him to ruin his pants for you.
When it finally took him, his eyes crossed, head thrown back as he babbled nonsense in absolute bliss. His brain was barely able to register when a few moments later, your own orgasm hit you just as hard. His hips never gave up, still softly swaying with yours as his high went down. He could've sworn he lost consciousness for a few second, as he finally became conscious with himself again when you were kissing at his neck again.
"Fuck. I wasn't planning on that happening," you giggled between soft pecks to the already tattered skin.
"Is this real?", he mused after a few moments of silence. His hands even went to squeeze at your hips, making sure you were truly there.
Unfortunately for him, that's when you left his lap, making him whine as he sat up to close your distance.
"That's not even the best of it, pretty boy," were your last words before turning towards his room, smiling at him to follow you.
Jungkook, being Jungkook, did not think twice before getting up and following you without further instruction, even tripping in the process.
~
Within just a few minutes of being in his room, you were down to your panties and him to his boxers. As mandated by nature, you were sitting on him again, holding him down by pinning his arms above his head as you made out with him as nasty as you'd done in his living room.
Jungkook had no complaints. If you wanted him tied up and to your mercy, he'd go as far as to beg for the opportunity. His mind was not his own anymore, and neither was his body. As far as he was concerned, he belonged to you — a totally reasonable thought to have.
To be fair, it was quite hard for him to think while the girl of his dreams was lying on top of him with her tongue in his mouth. Not that he was complaining, not at all.
Surprisingly to Jungkook, his hands took free rein of your body. They went from your hair to your back to your ass to your waist and back to your hair. A whole tour of your body was had before Jungkook decided to take a leap and sneak one of his hands between your bodies and take a route south.
Jungkook was inexperienced. That was an unfortunate fact of his life. But despite popular belief, Jungkook was not an idiot. He liked to believe that he was more knowledgeable than the average guy ... maybe. He had tried to overcompensate early during college by taking a female sexuality course and diving into the depths of reddit in order to understand the things he hadn't been able to experience first hand.
That being said, you still had to silently nudge his hand a little higher in the midst of making out, leading him to your clit before gasping into his mouth at the sensation.
His bruised ego got re-inflated quickly after, with your following reactions to his corrected movements going straight to his dick. Your hips canted against his fingers, following their movements in a desperate attempt at increasing the stimulation. Jungkook's head felt heavy at the constant sighs you'd release against his lips.
"Does ... does it feel good?", he still felt the need to ask.
You hummed into his lips in response, tightening around his fingers at the sound of his voice.
Fuck, did you like his voice?
This was something he'd need to save for future use.
Before he could continue to speak, you regrettably removed his fingers from inside you, earning a whine and a furrowed eyebrow from him.
"As much as I want you to finger me, I'd rather defile you," you said with all seriousness, giggling when Jungkook's reaction didn't go further than wide eyes.
"It's okay, baby. I'll make it good for you, I promise," your hand laid on his cheek, caressing it in a gentle manner, creating a huge contrast with your soaked panties sitting right on top of his stained boxers. That was just something he had to ignore in order to not burst spontaneously.
"That's not really what I'm worried about," he avoided eye contact, though his hands remained on you.
"Then what's wrong, Kookie?"
"What if ... what if it's not good for you. I, uh, I know you've done it with a few guys before — N-not judging or anything! Just, I- I don't want to disappoint you or, uhm, embarrass myself," he mumbled some parts lower than others, a little embarrassed by his insecurities on top of it all.
"Koo," you pouted at him, tilting his chin towards you — something that otherwise would've had him reeling — "I've already had way more fun with you than with anyone else. You know why?", you gave him that comforting smile he loved, "Because I like you, and I know you like me just as much. And I know you'll do everything in your power to make this good for me cause you're just ... you're such a good guy. This is just about making each other feel good. Okay? No need to worry about making me feel good, I promise I already am," you punctuated your statement with a kiss to his nose, giggling when he scrunched it.
"Yeah, I, uh, yeah, okay."
He suddenly found himself blushing, having undermined your proximity, or, you know, the fact that you were naked and on top of him, coaxing him into sex that he very much wanted to have with you.
Before you could say anything else, a fiery part of him took over, pulling you into him for a steamy kiss, wanting to express all his word-vomit through actions rather than stumbled words. There was no better way for him to show you how he felt about you, how good he wanted to make you feel. His words would often fail him, so he opted to show you through his actions.
Mid kiss, you got up from his lap, though Jungkook did not allow for the kiss to end, opting to lean upwards and sit up so he could keep himself connected to you. It was awkward, having you lean down as you blindly removed your panties, but it felt necessary to Jungkook. Within seconds you were already back on his lap, clawing at his own boxers to try and remove them while still sitting. It was awkward and difficult, but the job was eventually done, leaving the two of you nude as Jungkook attempted not to hump into you like a needy animal.
"I- I want- God, I want to fuck you so bad," he mumbled in a daze.
"Fuck, you have no idea, Kookie."
You sounded equally as wrecked, already one orgasm in and completely drenched above him. It made Jungkook feel powerful and wanted. He'd never felt desired like this before. It was making him lose his mind. Every passing second without being inside you made him more and more antsy.
Then you finally lifted yourself up, this time prying Jungkook's hands away from your hips so you could lean towards his end table where he knew you'd find condoms.
That shocked Jungkook, making him look at you with wide eyes.
"How-
"I know the guys have been trying to get you laid for ages. Jimin told me he got you some condoms," you chuckled at his shock as you nonchalantly ripped the packet open with your mouth, — fuck, why was that so hot? — taking your position on his crotch once more in order to insert it.
He whimpered at the sight, too turned on to feel embarrassed over it as he ushered for you to hurry up. More tiny sounds of desperation continued to leave him as you actually slipped on the condom and lifted yourself up. The buildup drove him insane with desire. Every second felt elongated, but when the moment to finally lower yourself on him came, Jungkook swore he left this dimension.
He'd read about what it was like. Hell, he'd watched endless porn depicting what were meant to represent virgins (but he was aware were just actors), hoping to understand what the feeling of finally being enveloped by an actual pussy would feel like. But it was safe to say none of it came close to reality.
He was unsure of what he must've looked like to you at that moment, but he truly felt himself completely ruined. His mouth was agape while his eyes closed shut, eyebrows lifting so high up they were likely at his hairline. Fingers dug into your skin, careless of any bruises they could leave behind (he made a mental note of asking if he could kiss them better later, but it was buried under every other feeling at the moment). His toes curled and his body hair rose in goosebumps. Every other part of himself went unaccounted for, as pleasure took over his ability to process anything else.
It was the safest feeling possible. He knew it was an odd way to describe it, but he truly felt like he was made to be inside you. Like he was fitting a part of the puzzle he'd been looking for forever.
On top of that was the immense pleasure, of course. The incoherent pleas and whimpers leaving his lips were a testament of it.
He begged and pleaded and cried and whined and made every embarrassing sound known to man as you started to move. You'd given him a few moments to get used to it, asking if you could move (you only received a gasp and a pathetic nod as a response) before you began a pace so torturously good that it had Jungkook reconsidering his religion.
"S'so good ... fuck. Oh, god, fuck, it's so- ah! shit, f-fuck me," he babbled, literally drooling at the feeling.
He was so yours in this moment, it was ridiculous. Jungkook had always claimed himself as yours (and had even subconsciously saved himself for you), but this feeling simply solidified it. There was no reality in which he wasn't made for you. Made to receive and give all the pleasure from and to you.
At first, his brain could not even process the view above him, and he was glad for it. Because as soon as he could, he was a gone man.
You mirrored his reaction to a certain extent, gasping and furrowing your brows any time his dick would hit a specific part of you that gave you that extra hit of pleasure. Your back was arched and your pelvis glued to his own. The view was something Jungkook could never forget.
"Feel so good, Kookie, fuck ... How could you be worried when it's so fucking good ..." you sighed.
You rambled praise for him, aiding tenfold to the indescribable feeling of being with you in such a bare form. Jungkook was sure his orgasm was pathetically close, but he could not bring himself to even think of it. Not when his undoing was so unimaginably euphoric.
He had no way of warning you, instead writhing and gasping under you. It was an out of body experience, taking him to a place so high he wasn't sure he would ever come back down.
And then everything went dark.
He wasn't sure how long he was unconscious for, but by the time the convulsions ended and his heart rate went back down, you were already lying down next to him. Cuddled up next to him, your fingers ran up and down his chest in a softness he'd never experienced, accompanied by the occasional peck left against his skin.
"Love you," he mumbled when his words finally found him.
"You scared me!," you sat up a bit to face him better, "Are you back with me now? Did my pussy break you?"
You were joking, but Jungkook was almost entirely sure that was what had happened.
"How long was I out for?", he turned to face you, arm wrapping around you to pull you closer.
"Just a few minutes. Was that too intense?"
"Hah, no, just ... yeah. I've never felt something like that before."
"Well, now you get to feel it any time you want," you grinned at him with a peck to his lips.
"Hmm, yeah," he mumbled happily before a thought snapped him out of his post-coital daze, "Wait, fuck, did you cum?"
"Yeah. I was almost there, Kookie, don't worry. Just had to work myself a bit more after you passed out. No biggie," you reassured him.
Before he could protest, you shushed him with your hand hovering over his mouth.
"Don't whine about it. I literally came in my pants because of you. Consider that a win."
And that was that.
Jungkook decided to let it go and instead cuddle you to sleep, completely disregarding the rollercoaster this night had been. Nothing else really seemed to matter while he held you in his arms anyways. Especially due to the warmth of your bare skin against his own, just like he'd always wanted.
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to read short 1.8k word continuation (+ all other previously written bonus content) you can go join my jk monthly tier on patreon!
content: jk and reader being annoying and in their honeymoon phase, smut, afab reader, grinding, kissing, oral (m receiving), overstimulation, etc.
wc: 451 (teaser); 1842 (full drabble)
sneak peak:
"God, man, I heard about Sora. I'm so sorry," Joon began, "I didn't think she'd be so mean to you. She hounded me in the hallway just an hour ago about lying to her and setting her up with a loser — sorry, her words."
This caused you to groan in annoyance, cuddling further into Jungkook at the mention of the faceless girl you'd never met but had grown to hate.
Jungkook had let you in on all the details on what had happened upon further insistence from you. It was safe to say that he had to talk you down from jumping her in the hallway (he knew you'd never actually do such a thing, but the thought counted regardless).
"Ew, don't bring her up. Jungkook's never looked in another woman's direction ever. Right, Kookie?"
It was a little inside joke between you. After having defiled him, you'd developed some healthy possessiveness over him. He was over the moon about it, always playing into it.
Joon simply chuckled, rolling his eyes at both the joke and the sight of the two of you practically cuddled up on a bench in the middle of the quad. No sense or shame for being that annoying couple, nor any care for your other friends sitting across from you, already put off by you.
"It's true," Jungkook nodded, "And that shitty date ended up working in my favor in the end, so if anything, I should be thanking you," he added.
"Finally getting you to shut up about Y/N is payment enough," he walked over to the bench you'd been sitting at, with Taehyung and Jimin sitting to the other side of it.The two had quickly learned to disregard the two of you and your lovesickness for each other, "Now get off each other. No one needs to see you sitting on Jungkook's lap at 11:30 in the morning."
"We already tried. They literally kicked me off that side of the bench so she could lay on him," grumbled Jimin before giving his attention back to Taehyung.
You got up then, nose scrunching at Kook's whine at the sudden disconnect between you, "It's fine. We were just leaving anyway," you held out your hand for him to get up.
"Let me know when the honeymoon phase is over," jested Joon as he took the seat you'd emptied.
Already on your way to leave, you turned back with a smile, "You're just jealous that me and my boyfriend are in love!", Jungkook giggled at your loudness.
"Where are we going?", he asked as he followed you mindlessly.
"To get some privacy, baby. They don't tolerate real lovers here," you joked in a mockingly serious tone.
...
find the continuation on patreon!
if you have trouble finding it on there, just let me know!!<3
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starryjake · 2 months ago
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teddy bear pajamas pt. 2 | l.h
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read part 1 here!
pairing: heeseung x fem!reader
warnings: unprotected sex, nipple play, dirty talk. (lmk if i missed anything).
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it was like he was able to read your mind. that, or he was just as turned on as you were and needed more. either way, you wanted to give everything to him. whatever he wanted to do with you, you’d allow. that was how badly you needed him.
you climbed into heeseung’s lap, his bare cock rubbing against the fabric of your pajama pants. he shuddered at the sensation, still sensitive from his previous orgasm only minutes ago.
he grabbed your bare waist, sliding his large hands up and down your overheated skin. you tossed your head back in pleasure and suddenly felt the sensation of his lips wrapping around one of your nipples while his finger rubbed the other one.
you moaned loudly, too far gone to care about the potential of waking up your brother and his friends in the other room. to be touched by heeseung felt too good, you couldn’t hold back no matter how hard you tried.
you began grinding your still clothed pussy against his cock, needing friction and needing it immediately. heeseung basically growled, tugging at the waistband of your pants, hinting at you to take them off.
momentarily, you crawled off of his lap to slide the teddy bear printed pants off your legs.
heeseung chuckled, saying, “you’re so fucking cute in those pants. i just need them off, baby.”
blushing, you dropped the pants to the floor and crawled back into his lap, both of you entirely bare now. he leaned in and licked a stripe up your neck, moaning at the taste of your skin.
“need you,” you whispered, so softly that he wasn’t sure if he heard you correctly.
“what’s that, baby?” he asked in a sweet tone. “you need me? need my cock in your pretty little hole?”
you convulsed in embarrassment and desire. your stomach tightened with arousal and you squeezed his hand, pouting slightly.
“mhm,” you hummed, looking down at where his cock was pressed against your pussy, but not inside.
“you shy little thing,” he whispered, caressing your cheek. “go ahead and put in, sweet girl. nothing’s stopping you.”
you looked at his face with wide eyes. he was so relaxed and calm, while you were freaking out internally because you’ve wanted him so badly for so long, and now you were getting it.
“me?” you choked out.
“aw,” he cooed, grinning at your shock and embarrassment. “do you need some help? here, sit up for me real quick.”
you complied, sitting yourself up on your knees so you were just hovering over him. he grasped his cock and lined it up with your quivering hole.
“ready?” he asked gently, his eyes filled with stars as he looked at you.
“please,” you begged.
you felt the swollen tip of his cock pry at your entrance before breaking the barrier and slipping inside. it wasn’t difficult with how wet you were, with how prepared your body was to have him inside of you.
he gripped your hips and helped you slowly lower back down until your pelvises were pressed together and he was completely buried inside of you.
for a moment, the two of you sat still, your bodies intertwined. he comfortingly rubbed your sides and your arms, looking up at you to make sure you were alright. it felt good even without moving, just to have his cock sitting inside of you.
but then he started kissing and nibbling along your neck and your chest and you just had to move. you slowly raised yourself up, feeling every detail of his long cock as your pussy glided up and down on it.
“fuck,” he moaned, watching you slowly adjust to his length. “so pretty like this.”
you whimpered, grinding back and forth with him inside you. your pace started slow, but then heeseung began raising his hips up, thrusting into you.
the feeling was unlike any other sex you had before. you weren’t incredibly experienced by any means, but it had never felt this good before. the mixture of the sounds heeseung was making, the way his hips fluidly glided up into you, his hands on your body, all of it was making for the most insane sexual experience of your life. you felt euphoric, and he could see it from the way your eyes were rolling back into your head and the fucked out sounds you were making.
“hee,” you cried out, forcing your eyes open to look at him beneath you. “it feels so f-fucking good.”
you planted your hands on his abdomen for leverage, starting to bounce on his cock now instead of the gentler movements you’d been doing previously.
heeseung seemed to like this as he stared at your tits bouncing in his face. he couldn’t help from leaning forward and taking one in his mouth again, moaning around the erect bud.
you held the back of his head to your chest, clenching and unclenching around his dick. he groped your ass in his hands, guiding you up and down his length.
“fuck,” he moaned, switching to your other nipple as not to neglect it. “you’re perfect. my perfect baby.”
you dug your nails into his abdomen, leaning forward. you were staring to get tired and you gradually lowered yourself down until your chests were pressed together. you laid your head on his chest, your movements coming to a halt. he still slowly thrusted into you, too lost in the pleasure to realize you’d even stopped.
but then he felt your breath hitting his neck and he opened his eyes, realizing you’d stopped moving and were just laying on top of him.
“you okay?” he asked, pushing some hair out of your hair.
“yeah,” you answered, looking up at him with a tired smile.
“my baby,” he whispered, kissing your forehead. “lay on your back for me.”
you did as you were told, pulling yourself off him and laying on your back. heeseung sat up on his knees and spread your legs, positioning himself between them. he wrapped your legs around his slender waist and guided his cock back inside of you.
you moaned out as you two were reconnected once again, this time in a different position. he pulled out almost all the way before stuffing his cock back inside, already starting out at a quick pace.
moans and the sounds of your skin slapping together filled the steamy room. heeseung fucked you into your mattress, slowly becoming drunker and drunker off your pussy and how delightfully tight it was squeezing him.
“mmm, oh my god,” he babbled. “your pussy is fucking amazing, baby, fuck. just wanna fuck you all the time. would my baby like that? want me to fuck her all the time?”
“please,” you sobbed, clenching harshly around him at the idea of getting to fuck him again. “please fuck me, oh my god. harder, hee, please!”
heeseung growled, gripping your waist for leverage as he thrusted even harder, slowly pushing you up your mattress.
you cried out, turning your head to the side. you were met with the view of your bedroom door where your brother could barge in at any second to find his best friend balls deep inside of you. it was wrong. you knew jay would be furious, but in that moment, you truly didn’t care.
“you’re so fucking wet,” heeseung grunted, pulling you back into reality.
you clenched around him again, suddenly feeling a turn in your stomach which told you that you were getting close.
you were so wet, your thighs were sticky. you were sure there was a puddle beneath you seeping into your mattress from all the arousal that had dripped out of you, that heeseung was fucking out of you.
you looked up at his face. his cheeks were red, his hair was sticking to his forehead from sweat, and his face was entirely concentrated on keeping his rhythm. he looked unbelievably good and you couldn’t believe you had him like this, that he was fucking you so good right now.
“‘m close, hee,” you warned.
“oh fuck, please,” he moaned. “cum around my cock, angel. wanna feel you cumming on me so bad.”
his words pushed you closer and closer. that along with heeseung’s steady thrusts hitting you in the perfect spot every time finally pushed you over the edge.
your body froze and you clenched around him harder than you had all night. you gasped, biting your lower lip as you finally released around him, you orgasm hitting you much harder than your previous one.
your legs shook around his waist and heeseung paused just to watch you. you looked so beautiful when you came, he couldn’t believe it. he also couldn’t believe that by just watching you cum, heeseung also suddenly felt the urge to cum.
“oh fuck,” he moaned. “i’m gonna cum, baby. tell me where you want me to cum.”
“my stomach,” you moaned out.
heeseung shoved his cock in and out of you a few more times before he pulled out and jerked himself to release all over your stomach, drenching you in white, gooey cum.
he hissed as his hand glided over his sensitive tip, pushing out rope after rope of his release. he came even more just seeing you covered in his own cum, seeing his friend’s innocent sister in such a state.
when he was finally finished, he collapsed beside you. all you two could do was lay there and catch your breath, comprehending everything that’d just happened.
what began as an innocent movie night in your bed had turned into something entirely different. you were glad with the outcome, but you were already growing nervous that he was regretting it.
he wasn’t saying anything which fueled your anxiety. you turned your head to the side, looking at him.
before you could speak, he said, “are you okay?”
“yeah,” you assured. “are you?”
your nerves were immediately relieved when he shoots you that signature heartwarming smile. he pulled you into his chest, kissing the top of your head.
“of course i am,” he said. “that was fucking—i don’t think there’s a word good enough to describe it.”
you smiled into his sweaty chest, inhaling his scent. your eyes fluttered shut and listening to the sound of his consistent heart beat, you knew you were on the verge of sleep.
before you let yourself rest, you muttered out, “please don’t go.”
heeseung squeezed your shoulder a bit and said, “i’m not going anywhere, baby.”
you smiled again, dazed, before finally falling asleep on him.
-
read part 3 here!
thanks for reading!
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luveline · 1 year ago
Note
𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞 —send me a shy!reader request for any character (with a plot) and I'll write a >1k drabble
sirius/james introducing shy!reader to remus. and shes just like quiet and in awe, but remus loves it.
luveline's 40k party ☆ tysm for requesting! remus x shy fem!reader
James is used to your personality after months of being your lecture neighbour, unperturbed by your quiet. "It's going to be fun," he promises, handing you a cold glass of cranberry vodka. "They're nice, okay? I won't let anyone irritate you." 
He's hosting a party and had the generosity to invite you round early. He's easing you in, so to speak. It took him two weeks of steady Hellos for you to work up the courage to say Hi back, another two weeks for small talk, a month before you felt comfortable speaking to him first. If you're that shy, a party is basically torture.
"It's not about irritating me," you say. 
"I know, I'm messing." James lists his head to the left. A second later, there's a knock at the door. "Aha. Wait here, shortcake, there's someone I want you to meet." 
"James," you say after him, wet from your glass leaking down to your sleeve, "what?" 
"I asked him to come early and say hello! He's quiet and handsome and you'll love him, just don't stare at his nose." 
What's wrong with his nose? you think, alarmed. 
James opens the door. Two new voices emerge, one scratchy and a little high, the other smoother. "I need to pee so bad," the scratchy one declares, followed by bounding footsteps up the stairs. 
"You alright?" the smoother asks.
You think there's patting, a hug, "I'm brilliant! You smell really nice, Remus, like a garden." 
"Lovely."
"In a good way! Come and meet my Y/N, you remember I told you about her nice gel pens?" 
James leads the smooth-voiced Remus into the living room. You hurriedly put down your drink and stand, wiping your wet hands in your shirt. You cringe at the darkening fabric but hide your grimace as they stop in front of you. 
"Remus, Y/N. Y/N, Remus," James introduces you both. 
Remus has a scar across his nose that seems cruelly cut. There's another beside it that starts in his upper lip, both of which end in his eyebrow. You know how self-conscious it feels to be looked at, so you manage to smile and offer your hand without too much of it. He's handsome with his scars, a nice nose with a ridge and brown eyes the colour of caramelised sugar.
"Hello," Remus says, shaking your hand. His is big enough to make yours feel small. 
"I invited her early because she's more fun than the rest of our lot," James says, throwing himself down on the sofa and kicking his legs out on the coffee table. 
Remus taps your elbow very gently as if to usher you to sit and sits down beside you, enough space to be casual but too little to stop the rampant nerves that blossom in your stomach. 
Remus asks about your life. What you're studying, where you're from, if James is being nice to you. While James is touchy in the rough older brother way, scrunching your shoulder and shaking you when you're not expecting it. Remus is touchy in a different way, you find, almost as if he doesn't know he's doing it. His shoe bumps your shoe, his hand falls down between his outer thigh and your own, his knuckles touching your jeans very lightly. He spins in his seat to talk to you. 
You don't notice other people arriving, nor the scratchy-voiced friends return. All you can do is look up at Remus with wide eyes. Your nerves meld to something warmer. 
"And what do you do?" you ask him. 
He smiles like you've wandered into a secret. "I'm trying to write a book." 
"He's being a bit much," Sirius says to James, the two now loitering in the doorway with matching beers. You and Remus chatter on, unaware of their running commentary.
"It's a very strong reaction. I knew she'd like him, but I didn't think she'd like him like that." James takes a sip of his drink. Remus asks you a quiet question. You duck your head, playing with your sleeves, and Remus, the bastard, ducks his head to follow your gaze, smiling at you all the while. 
James almost chokes, pointing his bottle toward you both as though Sirius isn't already looking. "He's eating it up. I forgot how flirty he is."
"She'll be nice to him, won't she?" Sirius asks, like it's a done deal. To be fair, Remus seems enthralled with you. 
"Definitely. She's very nice. Oh, look, that's sick, she's gonna pass out." James winces as Remus takes your arm into his hand. 
Remus wouldn't do anything cruel, but James wasn't joking when he told Remus that you were exceedingly, achingly shy. He's about to step in and rescue you, but you turn into Remus' touch and pull your leg up on the sofa to make yourself comfortable. Your voice is animated, if quieter than the average person's.
"Woah," James says, beaming.  
Remus flirts almost as a defence, like he wants to get the rejection over and done with so he can move on. You've yet to reject; you're looking up at him in moderate awe, your lips quirked into an easy smile. 
"Boo!" James calls, flicking his bottle cap at Remus, who brushes it away. "Took me three weeks to get a smile out of her," he mutters. "What a dick." 
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whytheylosttheirminds · 3 months ago
Text
Don't Call Me Kid - Chapter 6 (part one)
(Rafe Cameron x Reader series, 5.3k words)
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series summary: You'd had a crush on Rafe Cameron since you were six years old, but he friend zoned you at every turn. Once shy and insecure, you found new confidence and self-love after high school. When your high school friends go on a reunion beach trip, Rafe finally sees what he lost, but he isn't going to give you up without a fight.
tropes: unrequited crush, glow up, she fell first/he fell harder
series content: some angst, eventual fluff, slow burn, tomfoolery and shenanigans, drinking, fem!reader has occasional insecurity and body image issues
⇢ series masterlist
additional chapter cw! this chapter contains brief mentions of blood and minor injuries
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It was like no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t stop hurting you.
You were only under for a second, maybe less, your lifejacket doing its job, and yet somehow he couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d let you drown. 
There wasn’t much logic to it. It wasn’t as though he had emptied the jet ski of all its gas, or that he somehow had control over the weather. 
Technically, none of this was his fault, yet he felt the guilt burn in his chest like he’d swallowed hot coals.
⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄
The second your head emerged, you let out a scream, the salt water in your fresh cut sending hot sparks of pain up your leg.
“Fuck, ow!” You cried, reaching for the jet ski with shaky hands, in so much pain you couldn’t even find it.
“Ohhh baby, are you okay?” Rafe grabbed your hand, squeezing tight as he pulled you towards him in the water, his other arm tethering you both to the jet ski.
“I think I’m bleeding,” you clung to his shoulder, your fingers digging in probably too tight, but the pain was so overwhelming you needed to put it somewhere. He didn’t mind, desperate to take it away however he could.
“Here climb up,” he said, grabbing your waist and boosting you. “The water can’t be helping.”
“Shit,” you both said in unison when you finally got onto the jet ski and revealed the cut on your calf, wider than you thought and bleeding angrily.
“Just hold on, I got you,” he assured, beginning to kick rapidly to start moving the jet ski toward the shore. 
You were scared the whole time, never once taking your eyes off of him. Asking him over and over again if he was okay until you were sure he was sick of it. But not once was there even a hint of agitation in his voice as he promised you he was fine, that you were almost there, that everything was gonna be okay.
His words didn’t do much to convince you, your face flooding with worry when you noticed his breaths getting more strained.
“I’m okay,” he swore to you, stopping for a moment to catch his breath. “We’re almost there.”
It was starting to rain and the thunder was growing louder, there was no argument to be made that you could keep floating safely in the ocean. You resigned to let him keep going, but your eyes never left him, as if it was your appreciation keeping him afloat instead of his lifejacket.
“Thank you,” you said for the fifteenth time.
He smiled, his eyes crinkling with the motion, the expression entirely too joyful for the grim situation you found yourselves in.
“What?” You scoffed, poking his hand with your toe playfully.
“You’re cute when you’re worried,” he explained.
The drizzling rain was chilly, but your body was on fire. You opened your mouth to reply, despite the utter lack of words in your mind, but the sight of your sister appearing in the distance pulled your attention away.
The group that gathered at the dock’s edge was not the happy-go-lucky bunch of friends you’d arrived with a few hours ago.
The dock was only a few yards away now, you were close enough to see Carter slumped on the ground, Topper’s arms around her, pulling her into a comforting hug. As Rafe swam you closer, it became more apparent that she was crying. 
“There she is!” Tom shouted, motioning to you.
Carter stood quickly, nearly knocking Topper over, waving her arms in the air frantically like she was trying to land a plane. You waved back, heart aching at the sight of her red, puffy eyes. 
“We’re okay!” You yelled through the rain, trying to ease her worry as the jet ski approached. 
You looked down at Rafe who could hear the commotion but not see it.
“We’re almost there, they’re all waiting for us,” you filled him in.
As the front of the jet ski neared the group, Topper leaned over the side of the dock to pull you the rest of the way in. 
“Ohmygod, ohmygod, where have you been, are you crazy?!” Carter paced the dock, a wild look in her eyes as she scolded you.
“I’m fine!” You assured her. “We just ran out of gas.”
“We?” She questioned, hands on her hips.
Once Topper had secured the jet ski to the dock, Rafe swam around to the side, revealing himself to the group.
“What the hell? Where’s Kelce?” Carter questioned.
You knew she must really be upset. When she went into worried-mom-mode, her already limited inclination for politeness went completely out the window.
“Can someone help him up please?” You corrected her. “And get him a blanket or something?”
“I’ve got a couple in my trunk!” Topper said, before running to the marina parking lot.
“I’m fine,” Rafe calmed you with a soft smile as he lifted himself onto the back of the jet ski.
Before he could climb onto the dock, fully planning to help you up next, Tom reached out his hand to you.
“Are you okay?” Tom asked. You could feel Rafe’s posture stiffen next to you.
“I’m fine, thank you.” You accepted his hand, only due to the fact that you actually did need help with the big step off the jet ski.
The moment your feet were steady on the dock, you pulled your hand from his and turned back to make sure Rafe made it onto solid ground. When he did, you made your way to Carter’s side, pulling her into a hug.
“I thought something happened…” she mumbled into your shoulder.
“I’m okay,” you soothed her. “Rafe saved me.”
She pulled back from you, sniffling as she eyed him over your shoulder.
“Thank you,” she told him quietly.
“I didn’t do a great job,” he said shakily, looking down at your leg. “You’re still bleeding.”
“You’re bleeding?!” Carter turned you around, inspecting you for injury.
You laughed as she spun you frantically, “it’s just a little cut on my leg.”
She leaned down to inspect it further, eyebrows knit with concern. “I told Topper we should’ve called 911.”
You placed both hands on her shoulders, “Car, I’m fine. It’s just a scrape, it’ll be gone by tomorrow. I’m sorry we scared you, though.”
“You did,” she pouted.
Topper came running back, huffing from his hurry. 
“I could only find one,” he extended the blanket in his hands to Rafe, who obviously needed it more.
Rafe took the blanket from him and opened it up quickly, but instead of dragging it over his own shoulders, he wrapped it around you.
“You should take it,” you tried to stop him.
“Nah,” he waved you off, running his hands up and down your arms to warm you up. “We need to get you dry before Carter calls the Coast Guard.”
For a full ten seconds, your group stood in the rain, everyone’s eyes on someone else, the tension in the air telling an entire story to some invisible audience.
Carter looked at you, concern wrinkling her forehead as she wondered what really happened after she went to bed last night. 
Topper looked at Carter, wondering if her investment in your love life meant she’d forgotten all about the intimate hug they’d shared on the dock waiting for you to return.
Tom looked at Rafe, wondering if it was this joker’s fault you’d rejected him the night before and feeling the hot flame of competition ignite in his chest.
Sabrina looked at Tom, wondering when boys had started looking at you like that and how to get him to look at her instead.
Rafe looked down at you, and you looked up at him, both wondering if the other was thinking the same thing: there’s so much more to say.
“Ahem,” the jet ski owner cleared his throat, pulling you all from your thoughts. “Need the keys back if you don’t mind.”
Carter handed him the first two keys, and Rafe fumbled in his pocket for yours.
“You should really be checking the gas tank before you just send people out there,” Rafe snapped at him, tossing him the key. “You sent her out with an empty tank, she could’ve been seriously screwed, man. No way to run a business.”
“Maybe you should teach your girl how to drive so she doesn’t drain the tank,” the guy snapped back. “Not my fault she’s a ditz.”
Rafe stepped toward him in one long stride, chest puffed out and tension brewing in his flexed jaw that ran all the way down his neck.
“The fuck did you just say?” Rafe grabbed him by his collar, pulling the guy up towards him as he glared at him. 
You looked helplessly to Topper, who hurried to pull Rafe’s hand off the guy’s shirt. Topper was an expert at intervening before Rafe did things he couldn’t undo, and you were grateful he was here. Still, there was a small part of you that selfishly wanted to know what he’d do next, how far he’d go to defend your honor.
“Okay, okay,” Topper said. “Let’s just go, bro. It’s over.”
Rafe fought against Topper’s pull for a moment, staring daggers at the jet ski guy, who was chuckling smugly. When the guy’s eyes darted to you, he pulled his arm from Topper’s grip and made to move towards him again.
“Rafe,” you said softly.
His head turned to you, and the tension in his shoulders loosened. You shook your head ever so slightly, eyes urging him to back down. He nodded once and his hands, which had been balled into fists, flexed open as he let his anger go.
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As soon as you made it back to the house, you peeled your wet bathing suit off and climbed in the shower, eager to get your weary body into the warm water and let the sea wash down the drain. Carter had announced plans on the car ride back from the marina to go out to some clubs this evening, and you were far from dance floor ready.
For just a moment, the hot water felt incredible, until it made its way to your cut. You yelped and stepped out of the hot stream quickly. 
Typically, you would’ve thought responsibly enough to cover the cut before getting in the shower, but your mind was too foggy with thoughts of Rafe. You pulled on some clothes and padded down the hall to Carter’s room.
The knock on the door sparked a flurry of commotion behind it. Hushed voices echoed from under the door frame.
“Just a second!” Carter shouted to you, voice muffled.
“Oof!” A deeper voice said, the sound of a heavy body hitting the floor.
Your lips twisted in a knowing smile. You didn’t need the door to swing open to know who you were hearing in the room. Carter and Topper were clearly tangled up in something before you interrupted.
Confirming your suspicion, the door swung open and Topper stood in front of you, his shirt on backwards from being pulled on in a hurry.
“Do I have the wrong room?” You smirked.
“I was just, uh, helping Carter with something,” he fumbled to explain.
“Oh? What were you helping her with?” 
“Her bed is, uh, broken.” 
You laughed, standing on your tiptoes to call over his shoulder and into the room, “just wanted to see if you have any Band-Aids?” 
“No,” she responded from somewhere under the mess of blankets on her bed. “But I can come help you find some.”
“Oh no,” you said. “You stay here and work on that…broken bed.”
Topper gave you a thankful smile and you winked at him.
“Make good choices!” You called, turning from the door.
“Too late!” Carter sang back.
You checked a few of the other bathrooms before wandering to the kitchen. One hand on the counter, and the other reaching as high as it could, you tried to boost yourself up. The flex of your calf as you jumped stretched the skin around your cut, making you wince. 
“Fuck,” you grumbled to yourself. “Let’s get jet skis they said, it’ll be fun they said…”
You tried to jump again, reaching for the high cabinet, the only one in the kitchen you hadn’t checked yet. You could’ve sworn you’d seen a first aid kit around here somewhere. You jumped again, the effort still fruitless.
“Need some help?”
You turned fast, startled by the revelation that you weren’t actually alone.
Rafe was standing at the bottom of the stairs, leaning on the banister with his arms crossed. His hair was damp, clearly just out of the shower himself. You weren’t looking at his hair, though.
He was covered only by a pair of checkered boxers and the towel flung carelessly over his shoulder. His torso was long and rigid, more defined than you had first noticed on the beach the other day. The hard ridges of his abs cast shadows on the plane of his stomach, your eyes danced over them, down to the deep V that disappeared below his waistband.
“What are you looking for?” His words were casual, as if he didn’t notice you staring, but the crooked grin etched on his face told a different story.
“Band-Aids,” you told him, your voice so feeble it did nothing but further reveal your captivation with the sight of him.
The smirk and all its playfulness fell from his face as his eyes filled with concern. 
“Are you still bleeding?” 
“No, I just need to cover it so I can shower. I’m thinking I should probably get the seaweed out of my hair if we’re going out.”
“Y’know if you don’t want to go, we don’t have to. I’d stay back with you,” he offered.
Your eyes fell from his, shuffling your feet uncomfortably, he stumbled over his words to reassure you, “we don’t have to, like, hang out. Just if you’re tired and you’d rather stay in and read or something that’s cool. I would stay down here.”
“You don’t want to hang out with me?” You raised your eyebrows in mock offense.
You were messing with him now, you probably shouldn’t be, but watching him run circles around himself to say the right thing was too fun.
“That’s not what I- I just,” he stuttered. “Here, can you just let me help you?”
He was across the room quick, your bodies close enough to touch for the first time since the dock. He smelled like soap, and something else undefinable and sweetly nostalgic. He reached up, his long frame barely needing to stretch to reach the cabinet above you.
“Doesn’t look like there’s any in here,” he informed you, tall enough to see what you couldn’t. 
“You sure?” You didn’t know why you were questioning him, your flustered state made you defensive.
“You’re welcome to keep jumping to try and see for yourself,” he stepped back to give you space to try again. “You were so close.”
“Don’t be mean,” you smiled.
“I’m serious! It was very cute,” he dropped casually.
Your eyes narrowed as you looked back at him. Despite all his genuine actions today, you couldn’t help but feel suspicious of his intentions.
”What?” He questioned, sensing your hesitancy. 
“That’s the second time you’ve called me that today,” you pointed out, “It’s just kinda weird hearing you say it.”
“I mean it’s not like I’ve never called you cute before,” he reasoned.
“You haven’t,” you said definitively.
“I’m sure-“
“You haven’t. I would remember, believe me.”
You crossed your arms, hands cradling your elbows, feeling like a raw nerve. Rafe took a cautious step toward you, ducking his head slightly to draw your eyes to his, making sure you were listening when he said,
“Just because I didn’t say it doesn’t mean I didn’t think it.”
You instinctually stepped back, his words a little too close to a confession for your comfort. When you pulled away, the back of your leg hit the kitchen counter, making you flinch at the pain of your cut rubbing against the wood.
“I have some waterproof band aids in my room,” he mumbled, his low voice making you wonder for just a second if he really did have them or if this was just a sly way to get you to his room. Sensing your doubt, he doubled down with, “no, honest, I brought a whole first aid kit.”
Convinced, you followed him down the stairs to his basement bedroom. His bed was still pulled away from the wall, but it had seemingly dried. His belongings were strewn about, his book bag unzipped and overflowing with books and papers. You clocked the curious sight, but stayed silent, preoccupied by your sudden aloneness and his half-naked body.
Rafe dug through his suitcase for a moment until, sure enough, he pulled out a bright orange case with a little red cross on the front. You couldn’t help your smile.
“In your boy scout era?” You teased him.
“I’ve been on enough trips with Topper and Kelce to know you should always be prepared for the worst,” he chuckled.
“Ah, little did you know, I was gonna be the worst you needed to prepare for.”
“You? No, you’re the best part of this trip.”
Your throat tightened.
“Oh, really? It’s not your dungeon bedroom?” You pivoted.
“Yeah, I should probably get used to that mildew smell,” Rafe scoffed. “Gonna be living in my parents basement if I don’t pass this summer class.”
He motioned to his backpack, the mystery finally solved. He’d been doing school work down here. Summer classes, surely the answer to his not-graduating problem.
“What are you taking?” You inquired.
“Statistics. I need one more math credit and I just can’t…” he shook his head with self-loathing. “I mean, you know better than anyone. I’ve never been good at math.”
“I don’t think your problem was so much that you weren’t good,” you reasoned. “I think it was more about not applying yourself.”
“Well I’m applying myself now and I still feel like the textbook’s written in another language, so what does that mean?”
“Maybe that you just need some help,” you shrugged.
You could tell he was struggling with himself, and you were overcome with the desire to ease his worry. There are worse things a man can be than bad at math. But with Rafe, things were always all-or-nothing. One flaw meant the whole batch must be bad. 
You felt the urge to jump into tutor-mode and do the hard work for him, but you knew once you crossed that bridge into such familiar territory, there’d be no going back.
Rafe didn’t seem to share your concerns about repeating the past.
“Help from you?”
The way he leaned in when he said it would be almost imperceptible to anyone else, but you’d studied him long enough to notice even the slightest movement. You could feel the air between you tighten, like a rubber band stretching as far as it could go. You broke eye contact before it had the chance to snap.
“Or, like a tutor?” You suggested, reaching for the first aid kit in his hands. “Do they have those at Chapel Hill?”
“They do,” he stepped closer anyway, hand brushing yours as he handed it to you. “But I’d rather have you.”
You cleared your throat, ignoring his attempt to flirt. You decided not to go down this road with him, afraid it would lead to another dead end. 
He watched you dig through the kit for an appropriately sized Band-Aid, fighting the urge to ask if he’d said something wrong. Before he could, you leaned down and attempted to line up the adhesive with your cut, struggling to twist and reach the back of your leg.
“Here, let me.”
Fingers brushing yours, he took the Band-Aid and kneeled down in front of you, one leg under him, one propped up. His hand found your ankle and he guided your leg up so your foot rested on his knee. 
Clouds of foggy attraction swirled in your eyes as you looked down at him. He poked his tongue out of the corner of his mouth as he focused on unwrapping the Band-Aid. You zeroed in on his fingers, long and slender, leading to vein rippled hands that worked diligently to ease your pain. It was enough to knock someone over, but you weren’t going anywhere with his strong thigh holding you up. 
“Since when are you such a gentleman?” You quipped, your decision not to flirt with him thrown out the window at the sight of him on his knees in front of you.
He smiled that satisfied, crooked grin as he gently placed the Band-Aid over your healing cut, “I’m trying.”
He brushed over the edge of the Band-Aid, smoothing it into place with a firm swipe of his thumb. You dreaded the moment he would stand again. As if he could read your mind, he delayed it, his hand lingering on your calf. 
Completely breathless, you watched him consider his next move. For a moment, you thought he was going to let his hand continue to run up your leg, but he stopped himself, bringing it back to your ankle and returning your foot to the ground.
When he stood and looked down at you, he was surprised by the pout of your lips.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” you shrugged. “You just looked so cute down there.”
Rafe rolled his eyes playfully.
“Thought you didn’t like that word.”
“I don’t remember saying that,” you countered.
“You just don’t like it when I call you cute, then?” 
There it was again, evidence of his genuine desire to understand you. The rubber band tightened again, but this time, it was in your stomach, his sincerity drawing you to him helplessly.
“There’s just so many better things you could call me,” you flirted.
“Yeah?” Excitement coursed through you at his breathy tone. “Like what?”
“My name would be a good start.”
Voice still low, so deep you could feel it more than hear it, he uttered your name. It rolled off his tongue, smooth like honey dripping from his parted lips. The syllables came out with the faintest breath, brushing over your face as the sound swept over you.
Lip tucked between your teeth, you looked at his mouth, as though you could will more soothing sounds to fall from it. As you stared, his lips got closer to you, close enough to touch yours-
“Yo Rafe!”
The sound of Topper’s voice from the top of the stairs startled you so much, you knocked into his bedside table.
“What?” Rafe barked in the direction of Topper’s voice, his harsh, irritated tone in such stark contrast with the sweet way he’d just spoken to you.
“Just letting you know we’re leaving in like an hour,” Topper said.
“Okay?” Rafe snipped.
Topper grumbled something along the lines of “so fucking testy today” as he closed the door, none the wiser to your presence in the basement.
Rafe turned to you, eyes searching your face for a sign he could recover the moment that was so abruptly interrupted. You didn’t meet his eyes. A nervous, pink blush kissed the tips of your cheeks and washed down your chest. The thought of Topper seeing what you were almost doing brought you crashing back to reality. Twice today you had almost let him kiss you, the steel backbone you’d come into this trip with feeling more like glass with every second you spent with him.
“I should probably go start getting ready then,” you said, making your way toward the stairs.
“Right, yeah,” he agreed, defeated.
“Thanks for the Band-Aid.”
“Anytime,” he said. “Anything.”
He stood at the bottom of the stairs as you climbed them. When you reached the door, you opened it just a crack, peeking out of it with paranoid eyes, making sure no one saw you sneak out of his room.
Regret hit him like a tidal wave. He couldn’t even be mad that you were so desperate not to be seen in close quarters with him, because it was exactly the look he’d have on his face when he used to climb out of your car in the school parking lot.
This must be how you felt. He wished for a time machine so he could knock out his teenage self the way he almost knocked out the guy on the dock today. Anyone who made you feel as shitty as he did right now deserved it.
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Finally able to take a painless shower, you took your time under the hot stream of water. Carter sat on the bathroom floor, knees drawn to her chest as you recapped the crazy day.
“I literally thought you might be dead,” she explained.
“How long were we even gone? Half an hour?” You laughed lovingly at her dramatics.
“Are you serious?” 
“What, was it more?” You thought over the time you’d spent with Rafe on the water, in your mind it had flown by fast. Too fast. 
“We got back to the dock a full two hours before you showed up on your Rafe-drawn carriage,” she informed you.
You laughed heartily at the image, your cheeks tinting pink, though you told yourself the flush was just from the hot water.
“What did you guys do out there for two hours anyway?” She asked, not a fan of how silent you’d gone at the mention of Rafe’s name. 
“We just talked,” you said. 
It wasn’t a lie, but it felt like an incomplete truth.
“About?” She pried.
“I don’t know,” you shrugged, “just, like, life and stuff.”
She snorted skeptically.
“What?”
“I just can’t picture Rafe Cameron having any kind of deep thoughts about life is all,” she explained.
“Well, he’s different now, I guess,” you said feebly.
“Is he though?”
That silenced you. She had a fair point, you had only been talking to Rafe again for a few days, and most of that time was spent with him asking questions about you. You didn’t know him at all really, at least not as well as you used to, not enough to make judgment calls on his character.
Yet there was this instinct that had never really gone away. An invisible tether that connected you to him in a way you’d never experienced with anyone else. He was your sixth sense, you just knew him. You always had.
“I’m gonna go grab my makeup bag,” Carter exited the bathroom, leaving you alone with your thoughts.
A few moments later, she reentered the room. You felt the words deep in your chest, and even though you knew she may not like them, you needed to let them out.
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Rafe meandered upstairs, looking for Topper’s room so he could borrow a shirt. He hadn’t really packed any going out outfits, picturing himself planted on the beach the whole week. The day he packed felt like a lifetime ago, he had no idea the rollercoaster this trip would turn into. 
Down the hall, the bathroom door was open a crack, steam pouring from it as someone showered. Surely, whoever was in there didn’t intend to leave it open. He made his way towards the door to close it, but stopped short when he heard your familiar voice coming from the shower. He knew he should close the door and walk away, but your words glued him in place.
“I have to be honest with you,” you said. “I know I should hate him, but I don’t. I don’t think I’ll ever hate him.”
Rafe’s heart raced, an optimistic smile spreading across his face. He prayed that he was the ‘him’ you were referring to.
“The sad thing is, if he asked me to, I’d still give him anything he wanted,” you chuckled, surprised by your own words. “If he wanted me, I think I’d be with him.”
He’d never do it, but he seriously considered barging right into your shower and telling you “I want you, you have no idea how badly I want you.” 
But the fantasy was cut short.
“I think I’d hate myself the whole time, though,” you confessed quietly.
At that, he actually did close the door, heart sinking, wishing he could dissolve into the floor.
His whole life, people found it hard to love him. They may not say it to his face, but he picked up on more than people thought. He exhausted his family, his irresponsibility and impulsivity were a pain to them since he was a kid. He disappointed his father, he knew he wasn’t the heir to the Cameron throne Ward had hoped for. And he’d fumbled you completely, the best friend he ever had. 
Since then, everything he did was out of self-protection. He ghosted girls at school before they got the chance to reject him, he didn’t reply to texts from friends for fear of being ignored first. He picked fights and pushed people away, running from rejection like a monster in the dark.
But this week, for just a moment, he thought maybe he could finally stop running. He thought maybe he’d finally found something that was worth the risk. He had never felt so safe, so seen, as he did today when you were talking to him. 
Then your words shook him from his delusions. He could handle his family’s disappointment and his friends’ exasperation. But your resentment? Knowing that being with him made you hate yourself? He just could not afford it. He wouldn’t survive it.
Closing the bathroom door had a finality to it, the click of the handle a sign of a decision made. He would stop pursuing you. He’d get through this trip, graduate school, and finally move on. If not for his sake, for yours. He was bad for you. You knew it, Carter knew it, he knew it. For your sake and his, he decided to let you go.
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The Ubers arrived around nine. The boys were showered, dressed, and ready by 8:30, chilling on the couch watching baseball and drinking their pregame beers. Topper kept an eye on his phone, watching the little cars get closer to the house.
“Ride’s almost here and they’re really not ready,” Topper sighed.
“Did you really expect anything else?” Kelce threw back another beer.
“Wanna take it easy tonight, man?” Rafe recommended, no one needed a reminder of the damage Hurricane Kelce had caused the last time he was shitfaced.
“No, actually, I don’t,” Kelce laughed.
Rafe reached across the couch, Topper ducking out of the way of his swift arm as he snatched the beer from Kelce’s hand.
“I’m getting you some water,” Rafe said. “I’m not babysitting your drunk ass all night.”
Rafe stood over the kitchen sink, filling a glass for Kelce. The water rose over the cup’s edge and overflowed onto his hands, but he didn’t even notice. He was lost in thought, thinking about your cry after falling off the jet ski, your lip pulled between your teeth when he almost kissed you, your words in the shower…
“Thirsty?” He heard you say behind him. 
He turned to look at you, nearly dropping the glass.
Rafe was resolved. He couldn’t risk the sting of your rejection, and he couldn’t afford the price of your resentment. There would be no more chasing you, no moves made, no plays attempted. It was settled, he was done.
Then he saw you in that fucking dress. 
(Chapter 6: part two)
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a/n: oops another two part chapter cause the word count got away from me againnnn :) will try my best to post pt 2 this weekend!
and if I wrote a bonus blurb about what happened in Carter’s bedroom what then? A smutty little Carrot Top side quest? How would we feel about that?
please note, the taglist for this series is currently closed. For updates, follow @whytheylosttheirminds-works and turn on notifs 💕
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heavysighing-dreamyeyes · 5 months ago
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Let Him Be Worthy
~500 words
Jason Todd claws his way back to you. Through the haze of the Lazarus Pit and the aching in his bones, he drags himself all the way back to Gotham and into your arms.
Sometimes he doesn't feel right being there. His hands feel too big, his legs too long. But when you guide him to the couch, put his head in your lap to play with his hair while humming soothing melodies? He knows in what's left of his soul he came back for this. For you.
If he remembered how to cry he would when you clean the blood from his hands, so gentle and careful like you're afraid he'll break. He doesn't understand why you do that. He's the one that breaks things. Not you. Never you.
You don't run, don't shy away or scream in terror when he tells you what he is now. What he'll always be. What he does when he leaves your bed cold at night. You smile at him, instead. You cup his face like he's something special. He swears in that moment he'll keep proving he is. That he deserves to come home to you.
He'd burn Gotham to the ground for you. Lay siege to anything that stands between you and him.
He wants– needs you safe. He's so careful, so diligent about never letting what he does under Gothams moonlight go back to you in any way.
That's why when Black Mask gets his hands on you, he sees red. Black Mask, his henchman, don't understand what they have, what you are to him. They don't know that you're not to be touched, not to be bothered or harmed or frightened. How could they? He was so careful. But it's so easy to be in the wrong place at the wrong time in Gotham. To step into the wrong store. Walk on the wrong street. Become an innocent victim in a game you didn't even know was being played.
He doesn't really remember what happens between finding out you were gone to the next moment you have your arms around him. He knows he felt the crunching of bones beneath his hands, the heat of blood not his own seep into his armor and gloves.
He registers the smell of iron in his nose, the soft murmurs you're whispering into his hair. He's kneeling on the ground, crumpled over, shaking. His face is against your neck, tracking the beats of your pulse, his arms around your waist, holding you so close he's not sure where he ends and you begin. Is he holding you too tight? Is he hurting you? Are you hurt?
He moves to pull away, scared to break you, scared to leave blood on you, to make you fear him, to drive you away. You pull him back against you.
He thinks he might be crying behind his mask. But you're here. And you're safe. You're tracing lines up and down his back. Telling him that it's okay. He's okay. You're okay.
You're surrounded by bodies. He's not sure if they're knocked out or dead. He knows he needs to get you out of here, bring you back to the apartment you share. Beg you not to go and not to be afraid of him.
But he just needs one more moment. One more minute in the comfort of your touch. Just one more second in warmth you always bring, in the only light he knows.
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timmydraker · 3 months ago
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Tim had a jumper that doesn’t seem all that special, but to Alfred, Bruce and Dick is incredibly important. Dare they say vital to caring for Tim.
It’s a big wooly thing, once a pale mossy green but now with a hint of brown and white from fading and use. It’s too big for him to the point that the sleeves have to be bunched up when worn and even than they hang over his hands.
It looks like a dress on him, which isn’t help but his naturally slim build.
The jumper is held in such high regard because when Tim puts it on it means that he’s not feeling like he usually does.
His confidence, his snark, his wit, and his mental strength is either hard to reach or impossible.
Tim, in the only instance he actually talked about what was going on when he wasn’t wearing the jumper, said he felt both like a tiny little fish in a giant pond and like his skin was a sheet of paper.
Bruce talked to Dinah about it and said it was most likely a form of mental regression, but Tim refused for it to be called him being ‘little’ or anything that would remind him of being a kid again.
Because he doesn’t act like a kid, but maybe it’s not right to associate Tim Drake with a normal child behaviour pattern. He doesn’t babble or whine or want to watch kids shows like Dinah had suggest he might, but he does go non verbal or only say one or two words in response to pretty much anything.
He puts his jumper on and will just… sit there.
Tim is always moving or thinking, always doing, but when he gets in his ‘jumper state’ as Alfred calls it, he tends to slow down completely and just want to sit somewhere warm and feel the fluff of his carefully maintained jumper.
Sometimes, he seeks out warmth outside of heaters and fires and the sun.
It’s on one of those days when Tim stalks down to the Cave with his jumper on, hair messy over his head and hands held up to his chest in an almost shy manner.
Jason notices him first and simply raises an eyebrow in confusion while Damian scoffs, “What on earth are you wearing, Drake? That looks moldy-“
But Tim doesn’t even look at him, eyes on the floor as he goes over to Bruce at the computer and pokes the older man’s shoulder once before retracting his hand.
Bruce immediately turns and opens his arms, an almost heartbroken look on his face as he lets Tim drawl onto his lap and bury his face in the crook of his neck.
“I’ve got you. Anything in particular or just one of those days?”
Tim speaks in a voice like a husk that Damian and Jason only hear because they’ve come closer and sound travels in the cave, “Janet, birthday.”
Bruce Wayne, The Batman, The Caped Crusader, then fucking coos and kisses his head before rocking him slightly.
“That makes sense. Do you need someone here tonight? I can call Dick or stay myself if you need.”
The two other boys in the room look at each other, shocked to hear Bruce say he will give up a patrol to seemingly cuddle someone.
Tim shakes his head, “Alfred.”
Bruce nods, kissing his head again and saying, “Thank you for coming to me so I can help you. I’m so proud of you for not making yourself go through this alone again.”
It’s not exactly a whine that leaves Tim, but it’s not a word that is Bruce’s answer.
Jason comes forward and awkwardly scratches the back of his head, “I don’t really know what’s going on, but can I like… help or something?”
Bruce smiled as Tim nods against him after a few moments, the boy in his arms turning to reach a hand out for Jason and then strangely patting the hand Jason offers up for him.
Damian, not trying to be rude but needing to understand what is going on, clears his throat and demands, “Explain what is wrong with Drake.”
Luckily Bruce had gotten better at understanding how his son communicates and looks to Tim for permission before answering, “Sometimes Tim needs to… be free of responsibility and just feel like a person for a bit. He isn’t always up for talking and just wants to be around people he trust, and me, Dick and Alfred have managed to convince him to actually come to us when he needs that.”
Bruce smiles at where at where Tim is holding Jason’s hand and swinging it around a bit before feeling over the rough calluses and thick fingers with apparent joy.
Damian frowns a little at his father’s explanation but nods regardless, “Very well, we shall set up the family room for the evening before we head out for patrol.”
Bruce smiled and pulls Damian’s head over to kiss his hairline as he hears Jason mutter, “Weird little guy, aren’t ya?”
Tim hums and pinches his finger and smiling at his older brothers yelp.
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buckyalpine · 3 months ago
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18+ af, minors dni. Dub con elements, please ignore if it's not your thing. Back at it with a dark Bucky who has the biggest corruption kink and loves to manipulate the sweet doll across the hall who makes him have the most unholy thoughts. He can't help how badly he craves for her to take care of him, comfort him, all while he pretends he has no idea what's happening with his body after all the abuse from Hydra. His mind is too fried. He's just too innocent with so many big feelings. So many big, thick, achy, leaky feelings-
Oop-
It started off with small things. Patching him up after a rough mission. Making him dinner. Feeding him. Falling asleep in her lap. Seeking her out when he has bad dreams. Calling her mommy when he was especially needy and just wanted to be held. Feel extra close. Around her, he's just a clingy little baby Bucky who loves to nurse from his pretty mommy for comfort.
It's all perfectly innocent. Sometimes after a nightmare. Sometimes before bed. Her nipples are so warm against his tongue, his pink lips sealed around every bit of her peaked bud. Who was she to deny him with the way he cuddled his face into her chest with the quietest "Mommy, please?"
Of course she lets him take her top off, it's nothing sexual, purely to comfort him, his gentle gurgles quickly turning into soft snores within minutes.
She'd always take care of him.
Like now when you were watching tv, lounging in a loose tank top. He splays himself across your lap and you idly play with his hair while he gets comfy, only wearing his boxers. He’s so cute and precious, reaching up to latch onto your breasts, tugging at your top so you'd take it off. He nuzzles his face in, struggling to maintain his facade of just needing to be held, no longer able to ignore the way his cock needed attention too.
You're so used to letting him take what he needs, you don't notice his extra squirming, still focused on your show until he takes your hand to show you where he actually needs you.
"Mommy, it’s hard" he whines while your eyes grow wide. It's always fuckin' hard around you, pretty girl.
He’d never done that before, spreading his thighs further so you could see where he needed you most, blinking up at you innocently while his thick cock pressed against the fabric, rubbing your hand over his bulge.
"B-Baby?"
"Mommy, help" he continues to pout before going back to sucking while shoving your hand down his boxers to his achy erection. You feel your heart beat out of your chest with your hand now wrapped around his velvety shaft, absolutely torn over what to do. It wasn't his fault his body was reacting this way. He was asking the one person he felt safe around to take care of him. He obviously didn't know any better.
God, you felt awful over how frustrated he would have felt not knowing who else to turn to when he was in such a cloudy headspace. You stay frozen until he puts his hand over yours, showing you how to touch him, stroking up and down with just the right pressure.
"S-sometimes I do this by myself" He moans between tugging your nipples between his lips, lifting his hips up to take off his briefs. His balls are heavy between his thighs, full and aching after waiting months for this very moment. "It feels good, is it bad?"
"No sweet boy, it's normal" You coo, giving him exactly what he wants while his body runs hot, his hips rutting up to chase more of your soft hand, "I got you, don't worry, relax Jamie" You pet his hair while stroking his cock, his mouth working between your breasts, lost in his own world. Even now, he looked so innocent, a deep blush on his cheeks while you made him feel good, it was going to take years to help him remember-
"It feels good here mommy" He wraps your hand around his dripping, swollen head, his hips pushing up, eyes nearly rolling back at the way his cock feels in your hand. He knows he's gonna blow-
"R-right there, m'gonna-make a mess" He moans between a shy pout and of course you reassure him you'll clean him right up because he's doing nothing wrong and all of this was perfectly natural. His body was responding to touch exactly the way it had to, he was safe with you-
"MMPHHHH" He cries out as the first stream shoots out, load after load still pouring out of his stiff cock. You wipe him down and he spends the rest of the night cuddled up with soft blankets, hiding his smirk with his face tucked into your neck while you rub his back.
I could stop here but just imagine what happens when he decides to get more bold.
"Do you ever feel like this?" He asks innocently and you nearly squeak in surprise. He waits intently for an answer and you pause before answering, carefully considering your words.
"Um, sometimes baby"
Liar, he thinks. I hear you pretty girl, always playing with that pretty pussy thinking I can't hear you.
"Can I help you?" You swear his voice drops an octave and so does your stomach. It felt so fucking wrong, why were you responding to him like this, he wasn't thinking clearly and you were getting turned on-"Like how you helped me?"
"No! No Jamie, you-you don't have to"
Oh, but he wants to because you're so good to him and it's not fair he doesn't help you too. That's how he manages to get you naked and spread out on his bed, shoving his cock in your pussy.
"M'I doing it right?" He still looks at you with the sweetest lost expression but you can't help but notice there's something darker in his eyes. His whines melt into groans, his pace growing faster. "M'so hard mommy"
"J-Jamie, I-" You're so confused over what to do, moans escaping your lips, your pussy swallowing his cock back in each time he thrusts.
"Tell me to stop mommy" You swear you hear a smirk in his voice, his movements suddenly more calculated, his hips perfectly rolling to hit that spot your fingers can never reach, "Tell Jamie to stop"
"St-Jamie, oh God" You pant, your orgasm barreling towards you and you want to scream stop because something is off but his hands snake between your bodies and he finds your clit- "Please!"
"M'gonna think about this when I touch myself, mommy" He rubs you faster, needing you to cum instead of worrying your pretty head, "Can I? Can I think of you when I make a mess? M'gonna make one now, I-
He couldn't wait for you to tell him why your belly would be getting bigger and bigger over the next few months.
Lord I'm sorry.
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babyleostuff · 6 months ago
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gummy bears
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𝜗𝜚 THEME: fluff, established relationship 𝜗𝜚 PAIRING: idol!seungcheol x fem!reader 𝜗𝜚 WORD COUNT: 603
SYNOPSIS: sometimes you find it concerning how well seungcheol knows you
natalia's note: just know that whenever cheol says "baby" it sounds like this "baby" (i died)
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“here you go, baby.” 
seungcheol walked around the couch you were happily occupying, and set the bowl on the table in front of you. 
“you sure you don’t want more ramen?” he sat down next to you with a soft grunt, and immediately put an arm around you. “i can heat up some,” he said, as his other hand travelled to the scar on his leg.  
“i told you,” you sighed, and put your head on cheol’s shoulder, looking up at his big, brown eyes, “if i eat anything else, i’ll literally explode. you give me way too much food, choi seungcheol,” you smiled at him, and put your hand over his, covering his knee with your intertwined fingers. 
“one, don’t call me that. and two, if anything, i give you too little,” he bent his head a little to place a peck on your forehead, “need you to be strong and healthy.” 
you shook your head, and made yourself comfortable on the sofa, now with cheol by your side. it was one of those rare nights when your boyfriend didn’t have to be at work, so you made sure to use your time together to the fullest. first you went grocery shopping, which was always a fun chore when you were together, and decided to make ramen. so not only did you get to fool around in the kitchen but also eat something delicious. 
and now came the time for your favourite (more like cheol’s) part - cuddles. 
if you’d have to describe how your perfect day would look like, you’d describe it just like that. 
reaching for the remote, you noticed the bowl he placed on the table just a minute ago. “what’s that by the way?” you asked.
“your gummies,” he said, not tearing his eyes from the tv. your boyfriend took his job of finding a fitting movie for the night very seriously. 
“gummies?” 
“yeah, the gummy bears. i picked out the, um,” he said, squinting his eyes at the tv, “the yellow, and red ones. you like them the most so i figured i’d just pick them out for you,” he said as a matter of fact, as if your heart didn’t just skip three beats. 
you had this little habit of always picking up a snack after dinner. sometimes it was chocolate, another day it was your favourite biscuits, and sometimes it was gummy bears. you knew seungcheol was aware of your post-dinner routine, usually it was him who took it upon himself to restock your snack drawer whenever it got a tad empty (of course you never asked him to do that, and one day when you said you could do it on your own he just scoffed, and gave you a very unamused look). 
“thank you,” you muttered, suddenly too shy to say anything else. 
no matter how many times he did little thighs like that (and he did them very often), that just showed how well he knew you, how much he cared about you to notice which gummy bears you like the most - it never failed to make your heart beat a little faster, never failed to make you feel loved, feel seen. 
“of course,” he said like it was nothing, and pecked your forehead again. because it truly was nothing to him. it wasn't a chore, or something he felt like he was obligated to do as your boyfriend - his acts of service were as natural as breathing for coups. 
“you want one?” you picked up a red bear, ready to share with your boyfriend. 
“no, but thank you baby. they’re all yours.”
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whore4mattsturniolo · 11 days ago
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𝑪𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔 𝑺𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒐 ♡︎ 𝑼𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒌
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𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚: you get bored and mess with chris while he's on stream
𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: SMUTTTTTT, blowjobs, praising, degrading, slapping, semi public sex(?), almost getting caught, reader is obsessed with chris' hands
𝒂/𝒏: my first time ever writing and posting smut !! not all the way proofread cuz i get shy😣 this might not be the best but i definitely had fun writing it so i hope yall enjoy
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Chris had been streaming for God knows how long, the only thing illuminating his dark bedroom was the bright screen of his monitor. It was at least 2 in the morning, and you were starting to get bored. Very bored.
There was something about how aggressive Chris got when he gamed. The way his jaw clenched whenever something he got frustrated, the way he cursed and swore, the way he muttered under his breath. It was one of the most attractive parts of him, especially because of how rarely it happened.
As the game continued, you felt a familiar feeling in your stomach, paired with a pooling in between your thighs. You were desperate for any attention, and Chris refused to give it to you.
"What the fuck you doing?" Chris shouted at a random player, his fingers rapidly pressing the buttons of his controller. "Fucking stupid," he cussed under his breath.
Your imagination began to run wild, thinking of what his long, slender fingers could be doing instead as you squeezed your legs together. You were obsessed with him, your body begging for the smallest bit of his attention.
He kept playing the game, kept ignoring you, and your desperation continued to grow. No matter how much you squirmed around, or scrolled aimlessly through your phone, the growing wet spot in your panties was becoming too much. The feeling wouldn't go away.
"Baby," you whined from your spot on the bed, scooting to the edge. But Chris kept ignoring you, his eyes not leaving his monitor, his attention not leaving the stupid video game.
You bite your lip, trying to find a way to get his attention, before a lightbulb goes off in your head.
You get off the bed, crawling on the floor towards Chris' desk, careful not to be seen by the thousands of watchful eyes of the Twitch stream. The cold, wooden floor cools your body down, as you look up at Chris.
He was beautiful. His blue eyes glued to the screen in front of him, his brown hair messy and disheveled under his headphones. His black shirt fit him perfectly, the short sleeves barely covering his biceps. Your eyes trailed down his body, focusing on his gray sweatpants, staring at the visible print of his cock.
You tap his leg, finally breaking his attention from the game. His eyes meet yours, seeing you on your knees by his chair.
"What are you doin' down there, kid?" He asks, looking back up at his monitor.
"I need you so bad baby," you whine. "It's been hours. M'goin' crazy over here."
"Be right back chat," Chris says as him, Matt, and Nick wait in the Fortnite lobby. He mutes his mic, ripping off his headset.
"Y'serious right now? I'm on stream and you're doin' this shit." He grunts.
"Please?" You pout, looking down at his print once again. "I'll be good. Just wanna taste you. You won't have to do anything."
Chris scoffs in disbelief. "Such a fuckin' slut. Beggin' me to suck my cock while I'm on stream. You're beggin' to get caught aren't ya?"
His words only turn you on further, as you nod, looking up with wide eyes.
He sighs, "Get under the desk. Don't make a fuckin' sound. Got it?"
You smile, biting your lip in excitement as you shift under the desk. Clearly Chris was excited about this too, his dick becoming more visible under his sweats. Even through pants, he was still huge, and you felt your mouth watering at the sight.
"Fuckin' Christ," he mutters, putting his headphones back on. "Chat, I'm back. Are we ready?" he continues the game, ignoring the sight of you pulling his sweats down.
Here he is, fully exposed, cock standing upright. His tip is red and angry with beads of precum leaking down his shaft. You look up at him again, spitting your hand before as you began to pump him slowly.
The intoxicating sight was enough to draw a moan from Chris' lips, barely covering the sound with a cough.
"Chris, you alright?" Nick asks through the headset, laughing along with Matt at the violent sound.
"M'good, man," Chris attempts to compose himself. "Water went down the wrong fuckin' pipe."
His breath hitches as he feels your hand on his dick, growing flushed as he continues to play. He knew the next noise he made would be a groan, so he kept quiet.
A shiver runs down Chris' spine as you continue to tease him, taking advantage of the fact that he had to stay quiet.
Taking your hand off his dick, you gathered spit from your mouth, continuing to pump his length with quickness. The sight garnered another groan from Chris.
You smirked, rubbing your thumb over his sensitive, throbbing tip, dripping with precum and saliva, his body involuntarily shivering. Getting too cocky, you were met with a light slap to the cheek, Chris looking down at you warningly.
You knew what he wanted, and you were eager to give it to him. You take him into your mouth, feeling each vein as his cock made its way down your throat. Hollowing your cheeks, you move your head up and down at a medium pace, swirling your tongue around his shaft
"Fuck!" Chris grunted, fumbling to turn the music up in an attempt to drown out his moans.
His gameplay was worsening, his hands shaking as he gripped the controller tightly. His knuckles were turning white while he ignored the sinful view under him.
You bob your head up and down quickly, saliva dripping down your chin as tears pricked your eyes. Chris suddenly bucked his hips up into your mouth, making you gag.
"Chris, what the fuck is that sound?" Nick's voice rang in Chris' ears through his headset.
"Uh, I dunno. I didn't hear anything," Chris lies, looking down into his lap into your wide, tear-filled eyes.
"I'll be back, chat," He turns his camera off. "Drank a shit ton of water today."
Going on mute once again, he slaps your cheek, harder this time. "Fuckin' slut," he spits, gripping your hair into a makeshift ponytail. "Didn't I tell you—fuck—not to make a fuckin' sound?" He sets his own pace, pushing your head down on his achingly hard cock. "Tryna get us fuckin' caught," he says through breathless moans, bucking his hips into your mouth.
"Look at you," he smiles, admiring your red cheeks and puffy eyes, wiping the tear stains on your cheek. "Takin' me so well. Such a good fuckin' girl f'me," he pushes your head down further, your nose grazing his stomach. "That's it—shiit...Just like that...All the way down. Thaaat's a good girl." he finally pulls your head back as you gasp for air. "Shh, s'alright," he pushes you back down. "You can take it...takin' me like a champ."
The obscene sounds of slurping and gagging fills the room behind the loud music and gameplay. Chris has long forgotten about the livestream, his vision going blurry as he throws his head back in his chair, his hands not letting go of their tight grip in your hair while he fucks your face.
"Fuckin' God," Groans leave his parted lips as he continues to thrust his cock down your throat. "Gonna fill up this pretty mouth. You gonna let me do that?" He coos, holding your head up to look at him. "You gonna let me cum down your throat mama?"
You nod frantically, as Chris pushes your head back onto his cock. Your hands make their way around his shaft, stroking him up and down in rotating motions as his cock starts to twitch in your mouth.
"Fuck baby...shiit—" his hips thrust upwards, ropes of warm, sticky cum shooting down your throat. "Swallow it. Swallow that shit—fuck—that's it. Just like that.
Chris comes down from his high, his breath slowing down as his hands let go of your hair. "Open up, let me see."
You stick your tongue out, showing the white, sticky fluid splattered all over your throat and tongue, before swallowing.
"Good shit," he slaps your cheek again playfully. "Good job, princess," you smile at his words, moving from under his desk to back on the bed, as he throws his headset back on, tucking his dick back in his pants.
"I'm back, chat," he smirks, his brothers, and the chat, blissfully unaware of the sinful events that happened just moments prior.
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𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒔: @yourmother29 the love of my life 💕
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