#felt really sad and was thinking about how it feels like just yesterday my cousins and i were playing outside with plastic nerf guns

[vroomvroommbtch]

Only us - DR x fem!OC

Masterlist

Summary: It only took Daniel four years to ask that question, but it was worth the wait.

Pairing: Daniel Ricciardo x fem!OC

Warnings: Fluff all over the place.

Word count: 4.4k

A/N: How are we feeling after yesterday, DR girlies?! One Monday not being sad is a tiny victory so I take it 😌 Here some fluffy stuff to enjoy on this Halloween day. Now I can go back to my regular schedule of watching The Addams Family movies again and again. ANYWAY, let me know what u think? Send me asks if u want? Thanks for the likes and love, kiddos. Means the world. Kay see ya bye 🫰🏻

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Only us.

-

April 2022.

Having one second of silence when they were in Australia was something nearly impossible, but Jas loved it. She loved the mess that included being there. She loved the noise that included being surrounded by family and friends, so Jas was nothing but happy. Spending some days at the farm in Perth was like a breeze of fresh air that they all needed, but especially Daniel. Plus, the fact that the race in Melbourne had quite a decent result was a big plus, so things were good, at least for those weeks.

With yet again another season that started poorly and another car that wasn't as fast as Daniel was promised, things weren't looking good, but none of that really mattered when they were home. All they cared about was spending time with their families. Not a race, a CEO, a car or a team principal was gonna ruin the happiness that gave Jas seeing Daniel with his parents and sister. But especially, nothing was going to ruin the joy that brought them watching Olivia spend time with their family, and especially watching her play with her cousins. Listening to Isaac, Isabella and Olivia giggle together was something too pure, too magical and too perfect, and nobody in the world was going to ruin that.

But even in the middle of the beautiful mess and noise, her tiny little family of three always found a way to spend some time being just them. It didn't happen often all things considered, but Jas loved the little moments that included just her, Olivia and Daniel. They were pretty counted, so she cherished every single one of them, even if they included dirty diapers.

While everyone was chatting in the living room and Aoife, Grace and Esme were starting to make dinner, Jas was in their room, dealing with a change of diapers, which was probably her less favorite part of being a mom and having a baby. But as she was cleaning and drying Olivia, two arms suddenly hugged her back. She couldn't help but smile as she felt Daniel place kiss after kiss against her head, shoulders and neck, making her laugh like a little happy girl. That was the effect Daniel had on her since they met, but it all became somehow bigger since Olivia was born. If Jas loved Daniel before, she loved him a hundred times more since she saw him turning into a dad. She felt in love with him again and again and again every single time she saw him with their daughter, and that day wasn't different.

"You smell nice" Jas smiled, looking over her shoulder for a second as she stroked Olivia's tummy with her fingers. "Not like you, you stinky little butt. You need a shower after dinner, you hear me? Well get you a nice bubble bath" Jas said to her daughter, which she answered with some cooing and a big toothless smile.

"I just took a shower but that bubble bath thing sounds like something mom and dad should do tonight too" Daniel suggested, placing one last kiss right on Jas's temple before he moved to her side to look at Olivia, but still hugging Jas with his arm around her waist. "I'm sure Maggie and Michael won't mind looking after her for a night"

Jas couldn't help but giggle when she heard her sister and Michael's names coming from Daniel. She couldn't help but laugh not because they wouldn't want to take care of Olivia like they did countless times, but because she imagined they were going to be kind of busy that night. "You mean Michael and Maggie the ones that mysteriously left in a boogie like two hours ago? I don't think so, babe"

"Remind me again why the hell they say they're on a break if they're fucking around like mad rabbits anyway?"

That was a very nice question that Jas has been asking herself again and again, but she couldn't really find an answer. Plus, she didn't want to mention the subject in front of Maggie, knowing it was nothing but delicate to bring that up. She really couldn't bring it up in front of Michael either because his answer was always the same 'We're trying to make it work', but Jas doubted it. So not being able to talk to them, they all just looked away when Maggie and Michael were basically undressing each other with just one look. Or in this case when they disappeared on the farm, not really giving any explanation of where they were going. "Don't remind me what my little sister and my friend does. And I don't know. It's their thing"

"We can always ask your parents. Or mine" he proposed, looking down at Olivia as Jas made her laugh and move her adorable tiny legs in the process. "What's so funny, uh? Mum's tickling you, baby girl?"

And like any other day, Jas couldn't help but stay looking at the picture in front of her with a smile on her face. Daniel tickling Olivia's tummy with his fingers to make her giggle even more was just the most beautiful thing in the world. Hearing her cute little giggles was music to their ears. See the way her husband and daughter looked at each other was simply everything Jas ever wanted, so it made her heart be filled with nothing but happiness. And to see Daniel being a dad was something difficult to put into words. The way his whole face changed and lightened up when he was with Olivia was magical. The way his eyes seemed to spark and the way his smile just grew bigger was incredible and it all just made Jas melt of love and happiness.

"Wanna spend the night with grandma and grandpa? Wanna do that so mum and dad can have a little bit of fun sleeping tonight?" Jas asked Olivia while she secured a new diaper around her tummy. And once it was done, Jas took the chance to grab her chubby perfect legs to kiss first her right feet and then the left. "You've the most adorable tiny baby foot in the world! They're like paidrín. Look at those fingers!"

"We can sleep but maybe also we can give her a sibling" Daniel whispered, as if their three months old daughter was able to understand what they were saying.

Jas knew Daniel's suggesting was nothing but a joke, but she also knew that deep down it wasn't just a joke. They wanted more than one kid, they wanted at least one more sibling for Olivia and then maybe another one because three was the magic number in their home, but timing was far from right. Olivia came in whenever she wanted and it's magical how she ended up picking the perfect timing to show up in the lives. She appeared when they needed her the most, and for that everyone in their family was thankful and happy but for the next one they wanted to do things right. They talked about it when Jas was pregnant and again when Olivia was born, so no matter how badly they wanted to perpetuate the Ricciardo name, they were going to wait for the right timing for their next Baby Badger.

"Ah, no so fast cowboy. Not till she's at least two or three. We can barely survive with one" Jas reminded him, standing straight to give Daniel a loving kiss on his lips. "It'll come, you know that, right?"

"I know. We can practice some meanwhile" he affirmed, kissing Jas head once again. "Can I?" he wondered, pointing to the onesie that was waiting right besides Olivia.

With a smile and a fast kiss on his lips, Jas left Daniel took care of putting Olivia's clean onesie on her body. She didn't say a thing as she looked at them, too scared to ruin the moment. With the crazy, busy schedule he had, there were counted days Daniel could dedicate his full time to being a dad. There was always some event with sponsors, there was always a meeting, there was always some publicity thing to do, especially when they were in Australia. But on the days that he was free, he would put his heart and soul into it. From changing dirty diapers and clothes, making bath times a complete mess and tummy time as fun as possible to inventing the most ridiculous stories, warm perfectly her bottles or sing lullabies absolutely out of tune, Daniel wanted to do every single thing that would include Olivia. They knew it was the most normal thing for a dad to do, but Jas never complained when she was the one taking care of it weekend after weekend. She never complained when she was the one getting up in the middle of the night or when she had to take care both of an exhausted Daniel and a sleepy Olivia. It was her job as a mom and his partner, so she did it all with a happy smile on her face, thanking her lucky stars for having her wonderful family by her side.

But the days that she got lucky to see Daniel being a full-time dad were her favorite ones. The constant happy smile on his face, the constant shine on his eyes, but especially the constant relaxed state he was it was something amazing to see. Since they met, people used to say nothing and nobody made Daniel smile as Jas did, but Olivia replaced her. Since she was born nobody made Daniel smile as much as their baby girl, but Jas was more than happy to give that place to their daughter. She couldn't blame him because nothing made her smile more than Olivia.

As Daniel carefully dressed Olivia while tickling her, Jas just watched them with a smile on her face, just as big as the one on Daniel's face or as the toothless grin on Olivia's face. She just looked in silence, letting them do their thing and have another one of their moments.

"Remember what I said to Michael the night we met?" Daniel suddenly asked, buttoning the green material in the front part of the onesie.

"You told him you had no idea who I was but you were going to marry me. But he told you that first you needed to talk to me" she remembered, smiling even more at the memory. "I mean, first you stuttered and then your tried to charm me with the whole Enchanté thing, but then you got to talk"

Even after four years Jas could remember that night perfectly. It felt like it was yesterday when she was sitting on the side, talking with the girls as she saw Michael walking up to them. It felt like no time had passed since that handsome tall man with Australian accent apologized for interrupting them, saying that his stupid friend was tongue tied and dying to know if he could invite her a drink. It felt like it was just some hours ago since Jas smiled all happy as she was trying to act cool and chill when in reality she was dying because she couldn't stop looking at Daniel since they walked in. Sometimes, and even when they already had a daughter and a life together, it felt like they were the same kids. Even four years older and with shorter curls, somehow it felt like no time passed for the Daniel who got all blushed as soon as she started speaking French, making him think he fucked up with the Enchanté trick.

Everything that happened between them was like a weird fairytale and every single day since that night Jas thanked her lucky stars for meeting Daniel, for them falling in love but also for them getting stuck together side by side on good and bad days. From Monaco to Dublin to London to Perth and the rest of the world, Jas got to live her dream life all thanks to the man of her dreams, so she was nothing but thankful to whatever put them together, that also included Michael for getting up and going to talk to her back then.

"You really had to be completely perfect and talk fluid French. And Italian and Irish. Beauty and brains that's why I was so convinced there was no way you would ever want to leave with me. Thank God you did" he affirmed, placing one last kiss over Olivia's forehead, making her giggle. "Thank God your mom was drunk enough to ask me if I wanted to leave with her" he stated, grabbing Olivia in his arms and holding her against his chest.

But the second that Olivia saw Jas, a sad pout appeared in her face which meant he wanted to go with her. "What's us with you? You missed mum in the six seconds she was away?" Jas asked Olivia, who answered with some baby sounds, as she placed her tiny hands in her mom's face as soon as Jas grabbed Olivia in her arms. "Yeah? I missed you too. I always miss you when you ain't around. You're my práta, right? You're our paidrín"

"How many words you Irish people have to say potato? Cause I feel there's a new one every single time you speak" Daniel wondered moving his arms around Jas' waist, getting as close as possible to his girls.

"Ninety. Every single one means something different" she explained with a little shrug. In the four years they had been together Daniel really tried to learn some words in Irish, but it was just simply impossible. The only thing he could remember was how to say 'I love you' because Jas would say it to him and Olivia all the time but then that was it. But after four years Jas wasn't really surprised, especially when he barely knew how to talk a few worlds in French after a decade of living in Monaco. "Wanna go back to the living room?"

"In a minute. Can I talk to you about something first?"

"Alright. Now I'm scared. What did we do?" Jas asked, looking up at her boyfriend who was suddenly serious. That was more than rare considering it was Daniel and he was with them. Jas knew there was no way something was wrong between them and Dan promised not to talk about work for the rest of the week, but she could see how something in his eyes was eating him.

"You did nothing wrong. All's good" he promised, kissing her lips to then rest their foreheads together. "You know how much I love you, right?"

"I do know. I love you too. We both love you" she whispered, suddenly getting emotional. She knew. Clearly, Jas knew. For four years all Daniel did was to show her day by day how much he loved her. In every single way he could find, Daniel showed Jas his love for her and then for their family. She could have doubts about everything in her life, even herself, but never in her life she would have doubts about Daniel and their love. She would never do that, especially not when the proof of their love was right in their arms. "What's going on, babe?"

"I just- I love you. I love you so fucking much, baby. I'm the luckiest man in the world cause you're my girls. I see you every day with our baby and then I see you carrying our family with so much love while you also handle all the shit we have around us and I still don't know how you do it. You've so much on your plate while being pregnant but you keep holding all- holding me up in the worst days. I really have no idea what I would've done without you last year. I really don't know how I would've get through it if it wasn't for you there by my side. I really don't know what I did to deserve you, J. I've no fucking idea but I want you to know I don't take anything from granted. Especially not you and her" he explained, big brown eyes looking down at her, shining with love and adoration, all while he stroked her cheek with his right hand.  

"I know you don't take anything from granted, especially not us. I know you, Dan, so you don't have to say anything" she whispered, holding Olivia with just one of her arms to place the other one against Daniel's heart. "I told you hundred times, I'd do it hundred times and I mean it"

"Actually I do have something else to say. You know I don't regret things in my life, but there's one thing I do regret not doing years ago. I like to think it didn't happen cause it was the wrong time. I should've done it earlier but then pandemic fucked us all over and you were right when you told me we should wait to be able to celebrate with our family. Besides last year was shit and then this one decided it was her time to shine" he smiled, looking at Olivia and kissing her tiny nose fast to keep talking. "I also know its pretty stupid to do it now cause the question's gonna sound stupid considering there's no better bound that our baby girl. Also I wanted to do it more special and remarkable but I can't fucking wait. I love you, Jas. I love you since the moment I saw you and I love how you always leave me speechless by just looking at me. You leave me so speechless that I had all this thing prepared in my head and now its all gone cause you're looking at me and I can't with those brown eyes. I love you so I'm just gonna-"  

And right there in the middle of their bedroom, Daniel kneeled right in front of her, all while he took a little red box out of the pocket of his shorts. Jas knew it was gonna happen one day. She knew Daniel wanted to marry her just as badly as she wanted to marry him. They knew it wasn't really necessary, they knew it was just a silly paper and that none of that was gonna change their relationship, but they wanted it. Even when he had been saying for years that Jas was his wife, he was dying to make it official, so there he was, finally ready to make it.

"Danny, babe, you don't have to…" Jas whispered, grabbing Olivia with one arm as she reached down to stroke Daniel's cheek while tears started to stream down her face.

"Let me. Please, just let me" he begged, kissing her palm before he grabbed her hand in his. "I love you, Jas. I love so much it's insane. And I know the last four years weren't a walk in the park and they probably haven't been what your expected. I'm wide aware you deserve more, you both deserve more and better. You deserve a better husband and a better dad, but I promise I'll do better for you. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you. I just- I've no idea what's gonna happen in future, but all I know its I wanna keep living with you by my side. None of it will ever make sense without you so, would you please, please finally marry me, babe?"

In the middle of the pandemic and during one of her lower days, Daniel called her like he normally did every day. He was away working in X and she knew he was tired, she could see all over his face how tired he really was after a day of practice and quali. But even with all that, Daniel called to cheer her up. With some cute compliments and words, Daniel made her smile like nobody could. Jas had no idea how that turned into wedding talk. She had no idea how they ended up talking about their plans, but suddenly Daniel was confessing more than he should have. He was planning to do it some day that year but all his plans got ruined before he could even get a ring. He didn't want to ask while they were locked and away from their families and friends. He didn't want to do it without being able to celebrate with them. He wanted to wait, but that day he was so tired and she was so sad he almost did it. He was about to drop the question right there over the phone, but Jas stopped him. Promising there was nothing she wanted most than to marry him, Jas begged Daniel to not ask. Not when she couldn't hug him, not when their families were away, not when the whole world was a disaster.

But the thing that she asked for was a specific detail about the ring. Since he didn't buy it just yet, Jas told him that whatever he decided to do with the ring was his thing, but she wanted it to have three stones. She didn't care about color, size or karats, she just wanted three. 'I want you in everything, but especially in my ring, you heard me?' were her exact words over the phone, which made Daniel laugh as he promised he was going to make it happen. But then the pandemic and the lockdown came and went, they couldn't go to Perth, then the pregnancy and Olivia and everything in between. But after two years, an insane amount of kilometers, places, laughs, tears, love and a baby girl, there was Daniel kneeling in front of her with the most beautiful ring she ever saw. On a silver band there was an oval cut red garnet that was nothing but breathtaking, and on the side as accent stones were two smallest diamonds. It was just like she wanted. It was exactly as she had dreamed. 

"Get up, grá" she stated, kissing Olivia's head as she waited for Daniel. She didn't need any of that. She didn't need him kneeling in front of her, or a big proposal, she just wanted the love of her life in front of her as she gave him an answer. She just wanted him and that's exactly what she got when suddenly he was back on his feet, stroking her cheek carefully to clean her wet cheeks. "I knew I was gonna marry you when you said 'Enchanté' the night we met. And I knew it again when I woke up by your side. I've known it for the last four years. I've been dying to marry you four years and there's nothing I want more than being your Mrs. Ricciardo, so of course I'm marrying you"

They had to be more than careful because Olivia was right in the middle of them, but the way Daniel kissed her was just the most perfect and beautiful thing in the world. They were just two giggly messes, trying to not smile as they kissed, but it was impossible. They both were so damn happy to finally be doing this that they just couldn't help it. There was nothing more Jas could ask for than being with Daniel and Olivia for such a moment, so she was all smiles and giggles as Daniel hugged them. "You've been my Mrs. Ricciardo since day one, princess"

"And I'm the luckiest for that"

"You're really marrying me?" Daniel asked again, double checking as he kissed her head during their hug.

"Of course I'm marrying you, sunshine" Jas insisted, tiptoeing to give him a short kiss. But as soon as she did, she could hear such a soft, adorable little giggle coming from Olivia, who was looking at both of them. "And I think she's happy about mum and dad finally doing it"

"I think she would be happier seeing mommy wearing this" Daniel affirmed, taking the ring outside the box and then grabbing Jas' hand. She shouldn't be surprised about it at all, but it fitted perfectly. It somehow felt like a dream when he grabbed her hand and put the ring in the right finger of her left hand. It felt like a dream the fact that Daniel asked her to marry him, especially with their daughter there. It felt like a dream to have both of them by her side, so like every day, Jas couldn't help but mentally thank all her lucky stars for them.

"You designed it, didn't you? Cause that's her birthstone" Jas pointed out, looking at her hand and its new acquisition, still not believing how beautiful it is.

But her favorite thing was the red garnet. It wasn't just her favorite color but also Olivia's birthstone, so Jas was absolutely happy that Daniel decided to leave behind the common engagement ring and go for something different.

"I did design it. I spent a lot of time looking for the perfect one and it seemed like it didn't exist. Nothing was good enough, that's why it took me so long. Besides I can give you diamonds any other day, that's why I thought this was way cooler. This way you can have us always with you" he explained, holding her hand to kiss her finger and the new shiny stone decorating it. "Thank you. For saying yes, for her and for everything"

"Don't thank me. It's my thing to look out for you and specially to love you. Its what I do best and its my favorite thing to do. Wouldn't change it for the world. Wouldn't change you for the world. We said its us forever, so I'm here to make it happen" Jas smiled, remembering the promise they made again and again, especially in the worst of the days.

Whatever happened, it was gonna be them forever. Two or three or whatever the number of their little family was going to end up being, it was them and that was the important thing. As long as they had each other everything was gonna be alright. That's what Jas promised to Daniel again and again, especially on the worst days when he needed a reminder that they were gonna be together no matter what happened in his racing career.

"Its us forever" he repeated, kissing her once again. But before Daniel could kiss his future wife once again, a little incoherent cooing interrupted them, making them look at Olivia. "Did you hear that? Mum and dad are finally getting married!" Daniel exclaimed, kissing Olivia's cheek, making her laugh with the scratching of his stubble against her skin.

And Jas wanted to make a joke, saying it was about damn time for him to ask her, but she decided to keep it for later. After all, she had the rest of the night and the rest of her life to do it.

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Taglist

@amsofftrack @d0ntjudgemy50shades @a-distantdreamer​

[bvnnyjo]

It was really hard to pick just one of the angst prompts, so I might send in more once you're done with this one, if you don't mind^^

could you please write 'I can be your family' with ukai keishin (again lol)? thank you <3

i never mind you sending in reqs!! feel free to send them in all at once tbh, gives me more options to chose from to write hehe<3 i finished this at 5am so forgive any mistakes </3

pairing: ukai keishin x reader

warnings: reader is an english speaking american in japan, not too angsty actually kinda happy, use of the prefix “mx” to avoid giving reader a specified gender

wc: 720

"I can be your family."

It was lonely, moving to Japan away from your entire family for work. It was fine for the first three months, then after six months you started to feel lonely. Then after a year you felt trapped. Maybe you had made a mistake moving to Japan not knowing anyone. That was, until, you met Ukai Keishin.

Admittedly, it was at a bar. Not your proudest moment, sure, but you were thankful to have met someone at all. It seemed most people weren’t very welcoming towards a foreigner, especially one that was still struggling to fully learn Japanese.

But Ukai was different. He didn’t mind your poor accent, or the fact that sometimes you had to say things in English because you couldn’t remember how to say them in Japanese. He’d laugh and tell you the word (if he knew what English word you were saying..), helping you pronounce it properly.

Ukai didn’t mind the way you’d talk in English to him on accident sometimes, asking you to teach him so he knew what you were saying. You agreed, but only if he’d help you become better at Japanese.

Though having Ukai at your side was nice, it didn’t stop you from still missing your family. You had grown up very close with your siblings and cousins, so not seeing them was seriously starting to take a toll on you. And he could tell.

“Are you okay, y/n?” Ukai asked, patting you on the back lightly. He had occasionally been coming over after practices to hang out while you work from home. “You seem a little off.”

“Yeah,” You reply softly, trying not to think too hard about it. You knew one wrong word and you’d word-vomit your feelings all over him. Though you trusted and valued Ukai as a friend, you didn’t want to scare him away with your emotions. “Just feeling a little down. It was my sibling’s birthday yesterday and it’s the first one I’ve ever missed.”

He couldn’t pretend to understand, Ukai was never extremely close with any of his family. But at the bare minimum he understood that your family was extremely important to you, so he tried to sympathize. “I’m sorry. Did you call them?”

You only nodded in response, thinking back to the phone call where the both of you cried because you missed each other so much. The thought made your eyes fill with tears again and you sniffed, trying to hold them back. “We video called and they showed me their party and I said hi to everyone. Just not the same though.”

Ukai could tell how sad you were just by the tone of your voice, causing him to move himself closer to you and pull you in for a hug. “Hey, it’s okay y/n. I’m sure you’ll see them soon right?”

The small affection from him made you burst into tears, suddenly feeling all the sadness from the day before. “I just miss them all so bad, Ukai. I have no family here, and you’re my only friend. I’ve never been through anything like this before.” If you thought your Japanese was bad before, it was even worse now that you were trying to speak through tears.

“Look at me, y/n. Hey,” Ukai lifted your face so you were at eye level with him now, taking in the way you looked. He still admired you even with the red eyes and tear streaks, “I can be your family. I’ll even introduce you to the boys as Mx. Ukai, eh? Then you’ll have twelve obnoxious teenage boys to be your family too.” He had to pause for a moment, barely able to process the fact that he just said that to you, “I know it’ll never be the same as your family back in the states, but it’s something, right?”

For a second all you could do was blink. Was that a confession? “Mx. Ukai? Shouldn’t you maybe ask me out on a date first or something?” You sniffed, laughing a bit. “That’s a bit forward, but if you really mean it I’d love to start out by just being your partner,”

Ukai nodded and hugged you, putting his head into the crook of your neck, “Yeah, you’re right. Guess I can wait awhile before I give you that title.”

angst sentence prompts

comments, reblogs, requests, n likes appreciated <3

[itsdanii]

Kyahhh your rejecting you and regretting series is just so freaking good . Uhmmm idk if you are taking requests right now but can I please request for Ushijima and Kita?Thank you so much!

Rejecting you and regretting it pt. 4

one | two | three | four

Hey, bub. I'm so glad to hear that you've been enjoying my works. Here's your request for the part 4 and final (as of now) part of the rejecting and regretting you series. Have a good day and stay hydrated! ♥️

genre: angst to fluff

warnings: semi-rude behavior (resolved), no cursing in this one because these men drink their respect women juice daily

ft. ushijima wakatoshi, kita shinsuke

title says it all

Kita Shinsuke

Kita is your childhood friend

The moment the two of you were introduced to each other by your grandmothers, you instantly clicked

Same as through with him, you loved spending your time being productive and following a certain routine so it's no question that as you both grew up, you started gaining romantic feelings towards him

You've been thinking of confessing but never really had the chance because he was always busy with volleyball practice

So when you finally managed to get some alone time, you didn't hesitate to voice out your feelings, not knowing that the answer you're hoping for isn't the answer you're going to get

"You're staring again."

You snapped out of your thoughts when Kita stopped infront of you, his eyebrows furrowing as he studied your face.

"Are you alright?"

"Oh, uh, yes! I'm sorry. I was just thinking," you answered sheepishly while scratching the back of your head.

You mentally cursed yourself for spacing out on him. This is the only chance you're getting and you can't afford to waste it.

"About what?" Shinsuke asked as you both continued your walk on the way home since you only live apart each other. Plus, his grandma had always told him to never let you walk home alone especially at night.

"Huh?"

"You said you were thinking. About what?" Shinsuke gently tugged at the sleeve of your jacket, changing your positions so that he was closer to the road than you are.

You felt yourself blushing at the small gesture and looked at his hand that was still holding your jacket.

You swallowed the lump forming inside your throat and stopped walking, the act stopping Kita as well due to him holding you.

Kita looked at you worriedly and placed both hands on your shoulders, his head dipping slightly to get a closer look at your face. "Are you oka-"

"You," you answered without focusing your gaze to him. "I've been thinking about you."

When you felt him taking his hands off your shoulders, you immediately looked up. "Sorry, did I make you uncomfortable?"

The look he had is something you can't decipher but if you were to analyze it based on what you can see, it's a look you never wanted to see again.

Silence reigned the two of you, eyes staring at each other as if you're both trying to figure out what the other was thinking.

"No," Kita said, breaking the silence. "But it's best if we don't discuss the issue any further."

At that, he faced forward and continued walking as if nothing happened but as you stared at his back, you realized that somehow, he knew what you were trying to imply.

And the sad part is that he chose to ignore it and act unbothered as if he didn't just indirectly broke your heart.

Once you reached your destination, you faced him with an anxious smile and Kita didn't fail to notice this, as well as your habit of shifting from foot to foot whenever you wanted to say something.

"I like you, Shin," you blurted out nervously, your heart beating erratically and your palms becoming sweaty. "I don't know when it started but suddenly, I just woke up and realized that what I'm feeling towards you is no longer within the range of friendship. It's something more and I just wanted to let you know."

"I am well aware of that but I'm sorry, y/n. I can't return your feelings."

You bit your lower lip to hold in your tears and as much as you wanted to shout at him to accept your confession, you can't just force someone to love you back because it doesn’t work that way.

"Geez, can't you even say it gently?" you said with a forced chuckle. "Don't worry, I won't hold any grudges."

You let out a sigh before looking up at him and Kita was surprised to see that there are no traces of anger. He expected you to lash out but it seemed like he was wrong.

"I'll see you tomorrow then. Don't overwork yourself, okay?" With that, you stood on your tiptoes and pressed a kiss on his cheek before turning around to cross the road.

Kita could only stare at you as he watched you enter your household, your figure vanishing from his sight as the door finally closed.

Kita is a practical man.

He knows how to separate what is right from what is wrong.

Because of this, people often see him as someone who's perfect, sometimes even being compared to a robot due to his nature. But Kita is far from perfect, and he knew that.

Because as he laid in his bed that night, he realized that he just made a big, wrong decision, and he had nobody but himself to blame.

-

Kita didn't know if he should be happy or not. Actually, he should be happy. After all, he just rejected you and still, here you are, walking beside him as you made your way to school.

He kept glancing at you, observing wether you were pretending or not but he knew that it isn't in your nature to be a pretentious person. You've always worn your emotions on your sleeve which made it too easy for people to read you.

"Ah, Shin. You don't have to walk me home later," you said with a sheepish smile. "My friend is actually going to walk me home so.."

"Alright. Be sure to send me a message when you're on the way home." Despite how 'normal' it sounded, Kita was actually feeling something unpleasant inside him. It was a feeling he was well aware of but had never experienced himself.

The day progressed fast. One moment, he was entering his first class and the next, he's already checking wether all the sports equipment were put back in their proper places.

As he walked out of the gym, Kita instinctively brought out his phone to check for any messages, yours to be specific.

"Ya alright, Kita-san?" came Atsumu.

Kita simply nodded and glanced at his phone again before keeping it, disappointment filling him as he realized that you're not planning to message him at all.

Without you to walk home with, Kita decided to join his team mates, yet despite the noise his team naturally carried, Kita's mind was still preoccupied.

He thought of how you must be doing or if you arrived home safely. He thought of how different the things would've turned out if he hadn't rejected you.

He thought of you.

"Isn't that y/n-san?"

Kita's attention immediately went back to Earth, his eyes following the direction Atsumu was pointing at and just like he said, you were indeed at the other side of the road, walking alone while hugging yourself as you shivered ever so slightly.

Without any words, Kita headed towards your direction and his team mates knew better than to interfere. After all, they knew their captain well. It wasn't that hard to notice how off he was today.

"I thought I told you to message me."

You gasped as Kita suddenly appeared beside you, draping his jacket over your shoulder which immediately surrounded you with his familiar scent.

"Sorry, I forgot," you said while tugging at the end of his jacket sleeves.

"Mhm, and you also said that your friend is going to walk you home yet I don't see anyone beside you." Kita said with a serious tone.

"About that..." You scratched the back of your head as you tried to think of any excuses but you knew that lying would be pointless.

"What if someone kidnapped you? Or worse, took advantage of you? You know I don't like you walking alone especially when the sun had already set yet you still did it. Why did you lie?"

You felt like a child being scolded by your mother but instead of taking it the wrong way, you knew that Kita was only looking out for you. It was just ironic that he broke your heart yet still showed his deep concern for your being.

"It's because I didn't want to make you uncomfortable," you finally admitted. "I just confessed to you yesterday and I thought thay maybe I might make you uncomfortable if I kept sticking beside you. I didn't want to be an inconvenience."

"What are you talking about?" Kita stopped walking and turned towards you. "You were never an inconvenience and will never be one."

"Sorry, Shin."

"No. I should be the one to apologize. I made a very rash decision yesterday and ended up rejecting you. I thought that having romantic feelings towards someone would just be a waste of time but I came to realize that it isn't a waste of time if its with you," Kita said with a gentle look on his face.

You didn't speak for a few seconds and just let his words sink in, a feeling of hope igniting inside you when you realized what he was trying to say. "Do you mean that?" you asked hopefully.

"Have I ever lied to you?" Seeing you shake your head no, Kita leaned in to press his forehead against yours. "I like you, y/n."

You felt your heart beat picking up with those simple words and without waiting for anything else, you pressed your lips against his.

Ushijima Wakatoshi

Being the cousin of Tendou Satori had its perks

And one of those perks is the opportunity to see Ushijima everyday

You are only a year younger than them yet despite that, you get along with the team very well

After all, it had been a part of your daily routine to always visit the school's gym

What you didn't expect, however, was to fall for a certain captain

And you, being one of the most open and honest person, confessed the moment you realized your feelings towards him

And despite being turned down several times already, you still persisted, claiming that you'll do everything to make him fall for you

But sometimes, no matter how hard you try, it just isn't enough

"Where's 'Toshi?" you asked Satori when you entered the gym, flashing a small smile to the others before sitting down on an empty bench.

"Talking to the coach." Satori looked at the plastic you were holding and grinned as he noticed what was inside. "Really, y/n-chan? You know that won't work on Ushiwaka, right?"

You just shrugged and placed the item beside you. "It's worth a try, 'Tori. Who knows? Maybe I'll finally be able to get a reaction out of him."

"Y/n."

You looked behind you upon hearing Wakatoshi. "Hi, Toshi. Did you miss me?" you said and flashed him a bubbly smile.

"You always come here everyday. I do not see any reason for me to miss you," he simply answered before taking a seat beside you, eyes glancing at the carrot stuffed toy before focusing on the court.

Satori, who witnessed the whole exchange, just laughed at you, his eyes squinting as he clutched his stomach in tears. "Well, there's your reaction," he said while still catching his breath.

"You don't have to be so mean, Toshi." You pouted and handed him the stuffed toy you brought.

"What's this for?" he asked in slight confusion while examining the carrot you gave him.

"That's a gift. Haven't you noticed? Its been 8 months since I started courting you." You grinned at him.

"Oh? Y/n's courting captain?" came Tsutomu who was wiping his sweat with a clean towel, eyes glancing at the carrot before he exclaimed, "I want one too!"

"Have it." Your eyes widened when Ushijima handed the carrot stuffed toy to Tsutomu. "I don't need it, and please stop giving me stuff from now on. They are irrelevant."

"I worked hard for that! You don't know how much token I spent just to get that from the claw machine!" You frowned at Wakatoshi and took the toy from Tsutomu who's now obviously confused with what's happening.

"Then I'll pay the amount you spent. Just stop giving me random stuff from now on. I don't need them and I don't have any feelings for you," Ushijima said with a passive voice.

You bowed your head and Satori immediately panicked, his arm reaching out to you but you only recoiled. "You're the worst, Toshi!" you yelled at Ushijima before dropping the toy on the floor and running out of the gym.

All three of them were in shock at your outburst, completely not expecting you to say such thing. You've always been bubbly around them so hearing those words from you was something they never expected coming.

"I think you made y/n mad, Captain," Tsutomu said while picking the carrot and dusting it off.

"But all I did was say the truth," Ushijima reasoned out, eyes focused on Tsutomu who was now hugging the toy that was supposed to be his.

Satori just sighed and turned around to go back practicing.

"Captain?" Tsutomu muttered with a confused look as Ushijima suddenly took the carrot from him.

"It's mine."

-

For the sixth time of the day, Ushijima glanced at the closed door of the gym.

It had been almost a week and he haven't caught a single glimpse of you. No visits, no 'coincidentally' bumping on each other despite having different floor levels, nor surprised bentos. Nothing. It basically felt as if you don't exist anymore.

He doesn't even know why he seemed bothered with it. Wasn't it him who pushed you away? He should feel relieved now that you were no longer bothering him, right?

Then why did it felt like he was missing you?

"Y/n's not coming," Tendou said beside Ushijima.

"I know. They haven't been visiting lately." Ushijima stared at Tendou seriously, making the red hair chuckle before raising his hands up in surrender.

"I don't have any idea where y/n-chan is. Even if I do, my lips are sealed," Tendou said before making a zipper motion.

Ushijima sighed and looked down at the ball resting between his feet. "I don't like it when they're avoiding me."

"Hm, I can't blame my cousin for doing that though. They've been pining over you for quite a while now and each time they confess, you end up rejecting them. I guess yesterday was their breaking point," Satori explained with a shrug, "Maybe you got used to the feeling of them coming back everytime you reject them that you don't know how to feel now that they stopped chasing you."

"I..like y/n."

Just as he said those words, the gym doors suddenly opened. You entered with your usual bubbly expression, a wrapped bento in hand as you made your way to them.

"I noticed that you weren't carrying your bento awhile ago so I brought it with me," you said as you handed the bento to Satori, not even bothering to spare a glance at Ushijima who was intensely looking at you.

"Y/n," Ushijima said making you turn to him.

"Yes Ushijima-san?"

Ushijima blinked at the mention of his surname. He knew that it was normal for people to call him Ushijima since it was his name but hearing you say it seemed bothering for some reason. He was used to you calling him either Toshi or Waka-kun.

"I like you, y/n," he said without hesitation.

Satori facepalmed at Ushijima's straightforwardness. Deciding to give you both some space, he stood up and walked away with his bento, leaving the two of you to talk.

You sat down and crossed your arms over chest, body facing Wakatoshi as you waited for him to explain and apologize properly.

"I'm sorry for how I acted a few days ago, I was merely being honest that time, but now I realized that I like you too... and I also did not mean to disregard your efforts just to get Mr. Carrot," Ushijima said while slightly scooting closer to you, his hand obviously trying to reach for yours.

"You named the stuff toy Mr. Carrot?" you asked with a raise of an eyebrow. "I thought you didn't need it.."

"That was a mistake. Mr. Carrot is actually sleeping in my bed as of this moment." The side of Ushijima's lips curled up when you giggled, the sound making his heart race.

"I appreciate you trying to be nice to me, Toshi, but you really hurt me back then, you know? I even had to stay away for a couple of days," you said before looking down at your lap to play with your fingers.

Panic started bubbling up inside Ushijima at your sudden silence. Swallowing the lump inside his throat, he asked you carefully, "Do you still like me? I'm really sorry, y/n. I missed your presence inside the gym. It's not the same without you. It's been too... quiet. Please give me another chance."

You lifted your head upon hearing that, clearly not expecting Ushijima to say those words in almost a pleading manner.

Ushijima took your surprised reaction as a cue to continue. He carefully took your hand in his, his hand completely engulfing yours as he intertwined your fingers. "I won't be aggressive towards you anymore. I know you said you hate me and I'm not the best at this kind of things but for you, I'll try."

You pulled your hand away from him, only to quickly wrap your arms around him, the action obviously catching Ushijima off guard. "I never hated you, 'Toshi," you mumbled with your face buried to his chest.

"Does that mean you still like me?" He said as soon as he composed himself, an unusual soft expression forming on his face when he felt you nodding.

You felt yourself melting even more to his touch when he secured an arm around your waist. "I like you so much, 'Toshi," you said as you looked up him.

"I like you too, y/n." With that, Ushijima leaned down to press a lingering kiss on your forehead.

likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated ♥️

a/n: lately, my mind has been filled with wakatoshi ushijima

[fairytaleyaya]

babysitting together - chwe hansol

Synopsis: you and your best friend (it´s more than that but we don´t talk about it) are given the very hard task of babysitting your little 5-year-old cousin, more likely you are given the task and dragging Vernon along with you

pairing: Best friend! Vernon x reader genre: fluff

word count: 1k

warnings: none

song recs: holiday party - weekly 

a/n: i think i owe you guys some fluff after yesterday´s post

-----------------------------------------------------------

This was going to be a hard day… you were sitting with an energetic 5-year-old boy in your living room not knowing what male humans of this age even like to do. The closest you come to babysitting male humans is your best friend, Vernon. Vernon! An amazing idea crossed your mind, a truly amazing one. You immediately ran upstairs into your room, leaving the little boy next you yelling “Noona! Where are you going?!” but you ignored him, dialling Vernon´s number waiting a few rings “Y/n?” he sounded as if he had just woken up, it was 1pm seriously? “It´s literally 1pm Vernon, don´t tell me my call woke you up” you could visibly see the image of him pouting through the phone “I was busy all night, doing my physics homework” you rolled your eyes feeling the impatience “Okay okay this is not what I called for. You´re now gonna get dressed and come over to mine so we can babysit a 5-year-old together!” He sat up in his bed “And what makes you think I can communicate with a 5-year-old? These things legit are a different species” You sighed, completely understanding him as you felt the same “I know! So please help me! I´m here alone with my little cousin I don´t even know what to do” obviously your best friend could never say no to you so he forced himself out of his bed. Telling you he´d be there in 5 he hung up on you, quickly getting dressed in a fresh pair of pants and throwing a shirt on. He didn´t even get the chance to eat something, but he knew you wouldn´t let him starve so he just left like that. He could fix his hair on his way.

You were watching paw patrols with Hyun and were actually invested in the show before you heard a knock on the door “Who´s that noona?” the boy asked. “That´s just my best friend Vernon. You´ll love him” you stood up, not letting Vernon stand at your door for too long. “Hi!” you said excitedly, throwing your arms around him, locking him in your choke hold. “Hi but please don´t choke me” he laughed letting you get off him. Hyun also came along with you to the door out of curiosity. Vernon awkwardly waved his hand at him “Hi, I´m Vernon” you could clearly see your best friend struggling like you but he still did well because Hyun already seemed to love him, maybe because they were matching there outfits, such a coincidence. “Hi Vernon hyung! I´m Hyun I´m noona´s favourite” he squeaked out in excitement.

They really started to warm up to each other, because Vernon already had him lifted in his arms “Oh really? Is this true y/n? Because I heard that I´m her favourite” the little boy in his arms pouted in disbeliefs “No! Are you cute like me? No you aren´t so I win” Hyun really left Vernon speechless like that “Did you just call me not cute? This is very rude young man” you laughed also very shocked by Hyun´s sudden sass “Oh my goodness Hyun, now Vernon hynug is sad” you lead them towards the living room to sit down on your couch, but Hyun preferred Vernon´s lap (I mean who wouldn´t) “My heart is broken Hyun” Vernon put both of his hands on his heart to show how broken he was. Hyun being still a very sweet guy gave him a hug “I guess you aren´t that bad” That made both you and Vernon laugh about how cute Hyun is.

“Okay but I feel so ignored in this conversation so I´ll just get you both the fruit salad I made this morning from the fridge” They both didn´t even listen to you as you walked over to the kitchen to grab the salad and put it into bowls.

Once the little guy had his salad he looked at it in disbelief making you ask worriedly “What happened baby?” he just said quietly “I don´t like blueberries” you completely forgot Hyun´s hate for blueberries so you just face palmed yourself but Vernon was quicker than you in reacting and offered Hyun “I love blueberries but hate strawberries how about you get my strawberries and I get your blueberries?” Hyun´s eyes light up “Deal!!” and handed Vernon his bowl to exchange the fruits. You knew how bad Vernon just lied there, he himself also disliked blueberries and now he had a fruit salad full of them. When you brought him his coffee as Hyun was too busy with his perfect combi of paw patrols and fruit salad you told your best friend “I´m sorry nonie. Should I get you something else to eat?” he just took a sip of his coffee and shook his head at you “Come here, sit a little you’ve been running around all day. And no I´m okay blueberries aren´t that bad” You took a seat next to him because else Vernon wouldn´t let you breathe and said “Liar” he looked at you “I´m not lying and I´m being considerate, Hyun´s just a little baby” you smiled at his words and the next sentence just slipped out of your mouth “You´ll be a great dad one day” you could see his cheeks filling with a  blush and him awkwardly eating another blueberry “Thank you… you´ll be an amazing mum too” you both were normally very shy people so it shocked you when you saw Vernon´s hand travelling up to yours but before he could hold it, you were interrupted by Hyun excitedly asking you “Noona! Hyung! Can we go to the park please” you couldn´t refuse him if he asked that cute so you nodded your head “If you´ll put your shoes on and wait at the door for me I´ll take my coat and we can go” he jumped up and down ready to run to his shoes. But Vernon held the little boy´s hand and said “Come on, let´s put your shoes on” “I can put them on myself! I´m not a baby anymore!” “My bad I´m sorry!”

thank you for reading!

[marshmallowprotection]

Hello. I saw your requests are open and thought I'd send one in. Could you write for Yoosung and Saeyoung (or just Yoosung if you wish) comforting an MC who's relatives are moving away after being close by for a couple of years. I never got to see them much as a child, so I don't feel like I've had enough time with them. It's also hard on me because I don't really have much local family that I'm on good terms with, so this is going to leave a big gap in my life. I can already feel myself missing them greatly. Thank you for your consideration. Have a nice day.

Yoosung knows what it feels like to lose family. He knows what it feels like to have family that you don’t see often but you wish that you could more. He gets that feeling because he wishes all the time that he knew Rika sooner than he did. He often wishes that he had more time to speak with her and learn about her because... even if you know someone, you may not feel like you actually do know them. So, that hurt in your eyes is something he knows like the back of his hand. He just wishes that you didn’t have to experience it.

It's not something that's in your control so it's not as if you can stop people from leaving. Sometimes, people have to leave for their own reasons and there's nothing you can do about it. That doesn't mean that you're not allowed to hurt about it or that you can't be sad. You’re allowed to be sad about losing people.

The one thing that he wants to do is make sure that you know that even though they're leaving, they're not going to be gone. It's never too late to get to know people and you can start to reach out through various means online to keep in touch. You don't have to feel as though you're losing something forever, there's always a chance to start over from the beginning. 

It’s why he finds it important to hold you when you feel your worst. “Hey, it’s okay. I know you're going to miss them and you're going to feel like you're a little more alone in the world than you were yesterday. But you're not. You're not alone at all because no matter how far the distance or where people go, you're still connected. That's what I tell myself whenever I get down about my cousin. Somewhere out there, maybe not so far away, is somebody that you care about and they’re thinking about you too. Even if it feels like you're going to be alone, you're not. You just have to change the way that you look at it. Besides, don't worry, I'll be here for you so you could never be alone. “

Saeyoung knows loss. He knows what it feels like to be separated from your family while they're still alive. He knows the feeling of isolation and what it feels like to not be able to be face-to-face with someone that matters a lot to you. It is the worst feeling in the world. The distance isn't something he likes to contend with. It makes the world feel a little bit smaller every time you can't see people. It was a feeling that he had to live with for a long time.

It's not something he wants you to experience at the end of the day.

Yet, it is out of his control. Your situation is a little bit different than his so there are things that he can do to make it feel a little less harsh. If you want to set up anything online, he can easily help you. It isn't that hard for him to work together a way for you to have those bonds. If it means something to you, he's willing to go over the top to ensure that you don't feel alone. You'll never have to worry about keeping in touch because he'll make sure that there's an Avenue open if that's something that you want to pursue. 

It’s why when you have frustrated tears, he can’t help but hold your hands. “You know, when Saeran was so far away... I felt alone. I felt alone for a very long time. Absence does not make the heart grow fonder, it just makes you feel as if you're going to suffocate. However, there's nothing stopping you from making a change in keeping in touch with people. There's nothing holding you back from that and you can make bonds that make you feel less isolated at the end of the day. You don't have to grieve when there’s still doors that can be opened, kitten.”

[your-daily-biaswrecking]

I dunno if it's too late to make requests (and u can ignore this message if it is) but I have this idea that I'm completely incapable of writing, I was hoping for maybe..some kind of fantasy scenario where human reader meets fae or siren Taehyung once while they were both children and, maybe they kinda pinky promise to marry one another, only for her to have forgotten about the whole ordeal with time, maybe assuming it was all just her imagination, and years later into her adulthood he comes back, having never forgotten the reader? You can change this however you see fit in order to make it more your style, and smut isnt necessary of you don't want to add it in..😅 💕

You had heard about the stories. Heard about him. Perhaps that’s why you walked into the woods so late at night, with a full moon lighting your way. To see if they were true, or because you already believed them and wanted to see him. The woods, however, were empty and what an unsuspecting fellow would call normal. Undismayed, you sat by the big Oak tree until you felt your eyelids be weighed down from the weariness. For you were only eight and the night was growing older than you. From that point on, you were not sure if you dreamt of the boy or if he shook you awake, but you remembered the interaction like it was yesterday.

“You’re waiting for me.” Not a question but you still took it as one.

“No, I’m waiting for the fairy.”

The boy chuckled. He laid down next to you, eyes sparkling in the dark as if they were luminescent. “I like you. You’re pretty. It’s only why I appeared.”

You thought about all your classmates and your cousin’s friends. None looked like that boy. “I don’t know you.”

“Oh.” He shuffled closer until he could reach to extend a hand to you. “You can call me Taehyung.” You took his hand, introducing yourself as well. “I’m new here. Did I by any chance bother you or your folks? I apologize.”

You shrugged, looking away, still trying to catch a glimpse of the alleged creature that playfully appeared here and there to tease the townspeople. “You’re not bothering me. I don’t know about anyone else, though…”

“Haha.” The boy laughed in a forced way yet it felt genuine. Like he had indeed enjoyed your remark but laughter wasn’t a sound he could make by his nature. “I really like you. You’re very pretty,” he repeated. “Do you want to stay here with me forever?”

You eyed him from your peripheral vision. “You mean like… marry you?”

He frowned for a beat, analyzing your words. And then his face lit up— quite literally. “Yeah!” he chirped. “Yeah, something like that.”

You had never been proposed to before. Sure, you knew about all the boys that had a crush on you at school, and you knew about how cute you were because your parents and their friends always told you so. But Taehyung was better than all of them combined. “Okay,” you replied easily.

The young boy seemed so happy, reached out to grab a piece of your hair. And after a couple of sparks appeared, the strand had been cut off and was trapped between his fingers.

“Hey! What—”

Taehyung brought the strand to the side of his neck, pressing it against his skull, and with a couple more sparks, it was connected with his own hair. Standing out from his locks yet looking like he had grown it himself. “Now we’re married,” he said, speaking the word as if it was foreign to him.

“No,” you immediately interjected. “That’s not how people get married.”

“It’s not?”

You shook your head. “We need to walk down the aisle and have the pastor say I pronounce you husband and wife and kiss.”

“Kiss…” Taehyung gave it some thought. And then he snapped his fingers. “That’s right. We need to kiss.”

“And we can’t get married yet because we’re just children,” you continued to speak your wisdom to the confused boy.

“So when can we?”

“Hm…” You rubbed your chin because you had seen people do it on TV when they tried to think hard. “When we’re old. Like, old like my aunt! She is getting married next month.”

And the boy nodded obediently. “I can wait that long.” For your weird kind of ceremony. For his, you needn’t wait at all. All he needed was… a kiss. He leaned in, lips pursed and going straight for yours. And you gasped, getting up and running away, out of the woods, far from the boy you had just promised to marry.

You never saw him again. Which is why you were inclined to believe it was all just your childhood imagination going wild. Sometimes you got a very sudden urge to think about him, like he was mentally intruding on your life. But the older you got, the less you believed in fairies. And you got old… old like your aunt. And it was your turn to get married now.

Waiting in the dressing room alone to stare at your reflection in that mirror and take a few last, deep breaths before walking out for the nuptial rite, you didn’t expect to be disturbed by a strange and deep voice.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

Upon turning around, you saw a man. A novel man. Handsome and somewhat scary as he glared at you and charged towards your spot. “What?” you choked out before clearing your throat. “I- I don’t think you’re supposed to be back here.”

“You’re about to walk down that aisle and have the pastor say I pronounce you husband and wife and kiss that man?” he spoke in a breath, pointing to the door.

You were frozen, looking into his shiny eyes as if you were entranced. Not sure how to react in this odd situation, yet something about the man intriguing you. “Um… yeah?”

“You can’t!” he gasped. Eyes so wide and pleading you silently. “We were supposed to do that.”

“I’m sorry, who are you?”

“I’m your husband.” It wasn’t what you were expecting him to say, not in the slightest, but he seemed so confident of it he almost convinced you. “You’re mine, you can’t marry another man,” he insisted.

And right when you were about to open your mouth to tell him he was being insane, tell him you had no idea who he was and that he needed to get out, he called your name. Called your name in a way that was so fitting for it, like he was the only one who ever should be saying it. You paused, and you frowned. And you looked at him better. The man reached behind his neck and brought forward a strand of hair that didn’t match his own. Didn’t match because that was your hair. That dream… that dream hadn’t been a dream at all.

“I waited for you,” the boy-turned-man whispered, voice sounding as sad as his eyes looked. “I waited for as long as you needed. How can you do this to me?”

Your face was numb. And you shivered, shaking harder the more you let the realization sink in. “Tae- Taehyung?” you gulped. “You’re real?”

The man rushed to you, grabbed your face with both hands gently, fingers stroking your cheeks as if he knew tears were about to fall. “Of course. Who ever told you otherwise?”

You were lost for words, just staring into his eyes that were communicating more than you ever could. The boy from the woods had returned for you, just as promised. And now that he had you, he felt ready to finish what you two had started. This time, when he leaned in with his eyes closed and his lips on a straight line towards yours, you didn’t flinch, you didn’t pull or run away. Maybe it was the shock. Maybe it was just what was meant to happen. He kissed you and everything instantly changed. The bond completed. A bond unlike the mortal rituals you try to parody— that was a bond connecting your souls instead of a verbal agreement that could easily be broken by the human instability. And when he pulled away, you knew it, you felt it; you were indeed his and he was yours. Forever.

“Oh my God,” you mouthed. The feeling crushing you and making your mind race faster and faster. “Oh my— Fuck!” You were his and he was yours now. Forever. What would you do now? There was another man still waiting outside to marry you. “Fuck, fuck!”

“It’s alright,” Taehyung whispered, holding you tighter. Like he knew exactly what you were thinking about or could feel exactly what you felt. Perhaps he could. “Don’t worry. None of that will matter in a bit.”

He scooped your legs, lifting you up with ease you were certain no human being could possess. And he jumped out of the window and landed perfectly, even though that window was so high up. And you were in the woods within a blink of an eye, even though those woods were miles away. By that big, old Oak tree, where it all started. He was right, your meaningless mortal problems already appeared like so; you were with Taehyung now and it all seemed to make more sense than anything ever did in your life.

“You look so pretty,” the man spoke, drawing you back from your thoughts. “Like a fairy.” He chuckled, this time his laughter sounding better than the last. And then he kissed your cheek, and your neck, and it felt like each peck was gifting you whole years of life. “I’ve missed you. You never came to visit.”

“I’m sorry,” you breathed, flustered.

“It’s okay.” He was calm, looking at your eyes that you didn’t even know yet that they shined like his. “We have eternity ahead of us to be together.”

“Eternity?”

He chuckled again, music to your ears. And he leaned in to bite your bottom lip playfully. “Don’t you know, honey? Time flows strangely when you’re married to a fae.”

Masterlist

[keijislove]

Happiness: Harry Potter X Muggle!Reader

Ding dong

The bell at Number Four, Privet Drive rang.

‘Boy, scurry off!’ Petunia growled at Harry; afraid he would do something to the person who was at the door.

Harry hid inside his old broom cupboard.

Even after spending two whole years at Hogwarts, and about to start his third, the Dursleys never let him come and see whoever was at their door.

It’s not like I’d stun them, Harry gloomily thought. I’ve got better things to do.

In truth, he really hadn’t.

Which is why he peeked through the small crack in the door to see who was there.

Petunia opened the door.

‘Er, yes?’ Harry heard her say.

‘Mrs. Dursley, good afternoon!’ a voice spoke.

The voice was gentle and sweet, a great variation from the Dursleys’ harsh, barking tones towards Harry.

It was the voice of a girl; one he did not know.

‘How may I help you dear?’ Petunia smiled.

‘Er, well, Dudley took my maths book yesterday, and I-I have a test coming up day after, so could you please ask him to lend it back?’ the voice asked.

‘Of course.’ Petunia smiled. ‘Come in, dear.’

That was when Harry finally saw the owner of the calming voice.

It was you.

Looking ever so beautiful and elegant with a halo of politeness surrounding you.

Petunia went upstairs to retrieve your book.

He did not know why exactly, but Harry felt like he had to talk to you.

He had to.

And if he didn’t, then the chance would be lost forever.

He walked out of the cupboard.

‘Oh!’ you exclaimed in surprise.

‘Er, sorry.’ He muttered, feeling foolish.

‘No, no... quite alright... I’m Y/N. Y/N L/N. you are?’ you asked, holding out your hand.

‘Harry. Harry Potter.’ He said, shaking your hand.

You frowned slightly. ‘Potter... I’ve heard that before... you’re Dudley’s cousin, aren’t you?’ you asked.

‘Er, yeah.’ Harry awkwardly said.

For a moment, a small flash of fear took over your face, but you tried your best to hide it.

Harry noticed it anyway.

He felt anger bubbling up inside him.

‘I don’t go to St. Brutus’ if that’s what’s scaring you.’ He said with more venom than intended.

You looked positively nonplussed. ‘Oh? Oh dear, I’m terribly sorry. It’s just that... Dudley says such awful things about you... I’d started thinking you were a mad hooligan!’

‘Dudley says a lot of things that aren’t true. For instance, he beat up a toddler and told me he’d won a boxing match.’ Harry shook his head.

You giggled slightly.

‘So... you’re his friend, then?’ Harry asked.

You looked down. ‘Uhm... well, no. I’m afraid he’s not very nice to me. I don’t think he likes me much.’

Harry felt yet another wish to strangle his cousin.

‘Why’d you lend him your book, then?’ he asked in confusion.

You sighed. ‘I didn’t. He took it from me when we were out during recess.’

‘Prat.’ Harry muttered.

When they heard Petunia’s footsteps, Harry jumped back inside the broom cupboard.

She was wiping fake tears, mumbling.

‘Diddykins, always such a gentleman. Asking for a girl’s book so politely.’ She mumbled.

You had to look away in order to roll your eyes.

-------------

Needless to say, you and Harry became friends since that day.

The Dursleys would always kick him out, and this used to annoy him, but now he had somewhere to go, so he used to leave without a word.

You two would meet up in the nearby playground and do one of the things Harry considered a big privilege.

You’d talk.

Nothing in particular, you’d sit on the swings and just talk.

Harry deeply wished he could tell you about Hogwarts, how Voldemort was a huge threat to his existence, but what would you think?

You’d call him mad.

You still followed the same routine.

You’d talk, everyday you’d talk and talk and one day he would leave, leave you behind, lonely.

Things however, changed quick after that.

He had just gotten home from third year, and was spending the summer there.

You had met up as usual, and he’d excitedly told you how his best friend, Ron Weasley, had invited him to stay over that Sunday for the rest of the vacation.

‘Oh... you’re leaving so soon?’ you had asked, and Harry thought he had heard the slightest bit of sadness in your voice, but that couldn’t be.

You wouldn’t be sad if he left, he wasn’t even on your priority list.

Which is what he thought.

To you, Harry was that cute boy whom you could consider one of your closest (and only) friends.

So, upon hearing that piece of news, you were jealous of this Weasley person.

No, that wouldn’t be right. You thought. He’s been at that school for three years; you’ve just met him. Why would he want to stay because of you?

You had been lonely that summer, and when Harry came back, it was unusual.

When he came back from his fourth year, he was a mess.

He’d jump at the slightest things, like a cat or a stray dog, and would hyperventilate a lot.

One day, he’d had a particularly bad panic attack.

You were on your swings, as usual, when Harry started rolling around on the floor, clutching his head.

You had gotten used to this, so you crouched next to him.

‘Ssh, Harry, breathe.’ You’d soothingly whisper. ‘Focus on your breathing, take deep breaths. Yes, that’s better, isn’t it?’

Harry was more grateful to you than he could have been.

Despite you not knowing the reason his scar hurt, you didn’t poke in further.

You left it at that and helped him whenever he needed help the most.

Your heart sank when Dudley’s gang came marching.

You hurriedly propped Harry up on the swing, before sitting down yourself.

‘Come on a date with a girlfriend, have you?’ Dudley sneered at Harry, his mates laughing loudly.

Yet another surge of anger passed through Harry’s body. ‘Beat up another ten year old, Dudley?’

‘This one deserved it.’ Dudley nonchalantly replied.

‘Five against one... that’s nice.’ Harry snapped.

Dudley’s lips curled over his teeth in a snarl. ‘At least I’m not afraid of my pillow! Don’t think I don’t hear you moaning in your sleep!’

A muscle was jumping in Harry’s jaw.

‘Leave it.’ You whispered.

‘Oh, don’t kill Cedric!’ Dudley mocked. ‘Who is Cedric, your boyfriend?’

More laughter issued as you held onto Harry tighter.

‘Mum, he’s gonna kill him!’ Dudley went on. ‘Where is your mum? Where is your mum, Potter? Is she dead? Is she dead?!’

You had released Harry; however, it was not him who went up to Dudley.

‘Pathetic!’ you snarled in his face. ‘What do you think you’re playing at, joking about his mother’s death? Absolutely pathetic!’

Dudley had given you a half smile, gesturing to his friend.

One of the boys held you and slammed you against the roundabout, making you hit your head as you groaned.

Harry jumped up and pointed his wand right at Dudley.

It was at that moment, that the skies darkened, as if a storm was ahead.

In mid-summer.

You and Harry walked home, Dudley following behind.

Suddenly, you felt cold.

Not because of the lack of warmth, but because it became really, really cold.

You heard a scream as your vision darkened.

Harry choked for air as a Dementor held him in place, desperately searching for his wand.

He saw you collapse to the floor, panting heavily.

With great effort, Harry grabbed his wand and managed to croak out.

‘EXPECTO PATRONUM!!!’

A silver stag rose out of Harry’s wand tip and fought off the Dementor holding him in place, before heading to you.

The Dementor instantly dropped you, almost scowling, which it would have done if it had no face, and glided out of the alleyway.

Dudley looked sick, but Harry didn’t care.

He rushed to your side immediately.

‘Oh my god, oh my god, cloaks.’ You whispered. ‘Cold air, c-cloaks, I saw my father die... all o-over a-again and i-it was so c-cold, all over...’

Harry shushed you, smiling understandingly at your rambling, disgusted at whoever sent those stupid Dementors to harm somebody as innocent as you.

---------------

‘So... he’s a wizard.’ You clarified, looking at the batty woman whose living room you were sprawled across.

‘And a ruddy good one at that, I mean, a corporeal Patronus at his age-’ she said.

‘Mrs. Figg.’ You interrupted. ‘He’s... he’s going to come back next summer, isn’t he?’

‘Of course, dear, whyever not?’ she looked at you as though you’d gone mad.

‘Those things... Dementors, as you said... were they trying to harm Harry?’ you tentatively asked.

‘Yes dear, sadly, yes.’ Mrs. Figg distractedly muttered. ‘Mundungus Fletcher, when I get my hands on that little squat again, I swear!’

You were trembling.

Something was after Harry, something terrible.

And you were in no power to help him.

----------------

‘Is something the matter?’ you asked, trying hard to keep a straight face.

‘Have you ever tried macaroons; I reckon they’re brilliant.’ Harry mumbled, ignoring you.

You rolled your eyes. ‘Harry.’

Sighing, Harry looked at you. ‘Hm?’

‘What’s wrong?’ you repeated.

‘Nothing.’

Lies.

‘Harry, something is very much wrong, and you know it.’ You disapprovingly said. ‘What is it?’

Harry sighed. ‘Its just... he’s growing stronger, you know. I... I fear there might be a day where I go to Hogwarts and never come back.’

Your heart sank into your stomach.

‘Its... cmon, Harry.’ You spoke. ‘We can’t... if you think like that, then, you’re not going to fight very well, are you? I’ll have you know, I am always here for you, and I have absolutely no intentions of letting whoever kills you live in peace.’

Harry chuckled at your scathing threats.

‘I’m gonna miss you, Y/N/N.’ Harry mumbled, intertwining your fingers with his.

You sighed. ‘I’ll miss you too Harry.’

More than you can imagine.

-----------------

‘Harry Potter, open this door!’ you screamed, banging furiously, not caring it was raining and you were sopping wet.

‘Harry, I swear, I WILL BREAK THIS DOOR!’ you yelled, ripping your throat raw.

The door hesitantly opened, as a certain boy stood before you.

Choking an enormous sob, you pulled him into a bone-crushing hug.

Sobbing into his shoulder, you melted into his touch.

‘Ssh Y/N, ssh.’ He mumbled soothingly.

‘Harry Potter.’ You croaked. ‘You had best returned from this war ALIVE.’

‘I’ll try Y/N/N.’ Harry whispered. ‘I’ll try.’

Your sobs were growing uncontrollable, and Harry did the only thing he could think of to shut you up.

He kissed you.

Slowly and carefully, his lips took in your own, as you melted into the kiss.

Not caring about the salty tears you could taste, you gently stroked his cheek.

When you pulled apart, you sniffed. ‘Good luck, Harry.

----------------

The rain beat down on your house heavily, as you sat near your window.

Something was wrong, you could sense it.

He’s alive... God, no, he’s alive, please.

Each thought, each dream, showed you endless ways Harry would be dying.

You hated it.

After many days of crying, a knock on your door made you jump.

‘Y/N!’

That voice.

That amazing voice.

Trembling, you opened the door, seeing a messy haired Harry standing there, tears painting his face.

‘My God.’ You gasped. ‘You’re alive. Oh, Harry!’

After yet-another hug, Harry came inside.

‘I reckon I should’ve made this more special.’ He said seriously. ‘But I can not wait any longer.’

You watched, confused, as Harry took your hands.

‘Y/N L/N, the moment you came into my life, I have felt nothing but pure happiness. I love you with all my heart. Will you marry me?’

You gasped, hand flying to your mouth.

Sobbing harder, you hugged him.

‘Yes.’

[itsallyscorner]

Thank you for the request, love!🎄❤️ Hope you don’t mind, I did some changes but it still follows the concept of your request! I hope you like it and happy reading!!❤️ @palna

💌.

The One I’ve Been Missing

This was kinda inspired by Little Mix’s song, “One I’ve Been Missing”, give it a listen :)

Warnings: some angst? Kinda sad for a Christmas fix..but has a some what happy ending. This came out longer than expected..enjoy, I tired:)

(Gif from Pinterest)

The living room was full of smiles and laughter as your family began to create plans for Christmas Day. It was Christmas Eve, and knowing your family, everything was to come together last minute. Though your family didn’t live too far, they had been staying at your place since the weather at your hometown had been absolutely horrible. There had been snow storms that closed down schools, took out power lines, and covered the ground in a thick white blanket of snow.

Your cousins have been arguing about who was going to make the Mac and Cheese this year when your phone began to vibrate in your pocket. You took your phone out and saw that it was Paddy. Paddy was Tom’s younger brother. Even though you and Tom had broken up, your relationship with his family was still strong. You and his brothers had gotten along so well, that they loved you like you were their sister. His parents, Nikki and Dom, have been very supportive of you during the breakup. They were disappointed in Tom for what he did and even apologized for their son’s actions. Though your relationship with their son was undecided at the moment, they always made an effort to call you on holidays or to just say hello once in a while.

You quietly excused yourself and entered the kitchen. Answering the call, you lean on the marble counters of your kitchen. The call goes through and Paddy’s adorable face pops up on your screen. His smile grows into his rosy cheeks when he finally sees you.

“(Y/n)! Merry Christmas!” He happily screams through the phone. You hear Nikki scold him in the background.

“(Y/n), darling! Merry Christmas!” She smiles while waving at the camera.

“Thank you! You guys look like you’re having a blast over there!” You hear a ton of commotion in the background, which was most likely Tom and his siblings showing off their presents to each other or having some pointless argument.

“Thank you! You guys look like you’re having a blast over there!” You hear a ton of commotion in the background, which was most likely Tom and his siblings showing off their presents to each other or having some pointless argument.

“We are! Sam’s cooked our lunch and he’s planning on making dinner later today! We’ve already opened presents and everyone’s happy! How are you, love? Are you with your family?” She questioned you as she sat on the couch. You saw Dom beside her, who made a funny face and waved at you. You chuckled waving back.

“I’m doing really good, my family has been staying with me for the last few days, so we’ve been together for about a week now? But everything’s going great! It’s Christmas Eve here and now we’re just waiting till midnight to start passing out presents!” You answer.

“Oh that’s good! I’m glad you got to spend time with your family because I’ve heard the weather there has been harsh! Thankfully Harry made it out before that big storm, if he didn’t he wouldn’t be home for the holidays!” Harry had been in your hometown because Tom was filming a new movie there. The set was only an hour away from where you lived, but you never went to visit. Although, you and Harry would meet up sometimes to have lunch together in the city, Harrison would tag along once in a while as well.

“Harry made it home! That’s good news, I was worrying that they wouldn’t make it back on time for Christmas!” You hear someone talk in the background.

“Is that (y/n)?” A deep voice asks. You recognize it to be Harry’s. Nikki nods and motions at him to say hello. Sam and Harry’s heads pop onto the screen with silly grins.

“(Y/n)! Merry Christmas! You look beautiful!” Sam compliments you with a charming smile.

“Aw thank you Sam! You look handsome!” A light blush forms on the boy’s cheeks. Harry takes the phone and asks, “How’s the weather there? Has the storm died down?”

You glanced out the window and saw nothing but white. The storm had stopped yesterday, but there were some random snowfall here and there.

“Well it’s stopped for now, my backyard is literally nothing but white.” You chuckle as you turn your camera to show your spacious backyard.

“Oh! Isn’t that wonderful, we haven’t gotten much snow here this year.” You hear Dom comment. You turn the camera back to yourself and ask Harry, “How was the flight, Haz? Hope it wasn’t too bumpy.”

Harry hummed, “The plane departed when the storm died down so it was a decent flight. There was some turbulence when we got up in the air but it went by smoothly after.”

“At least you got home safe, that’s all that matters.”

“I’m quite surprised I handled the turbulence well on my own. I was getting anxious when the plane started to shake, but towards the end of the flight it was all good.” Your brows furrowed. It was a known fact that Harry wasn’t that good with turbulence (I made that fact up, he’s probably ok w/ turbulence idk). Since he usually traveled with Tom, he had to board many flights. Tom would be the one to calm his brother down when his anxiousness got the best of him. Which made you concerned because you knew Tom wouldn’t let his younger brother board a plane on his own while a snow storm was happening outside.

“Wait Harry, you were by yourself?” You began to question him. Harry was a grown adult, he’s 21, but it still concerned you.

“Yeah, Tom had to stay back since he had to film more scenes.” Harry answered.

“Oh. Did he at least make it back home before the storm?” You continued. A frown was on the boys lips.

“Nope, he got stuck in (your hometown). I was supposed to still be there with him, but he literally forced me to get on a flight home before Christmas.” Harry shrugged. A pout formed on your own lips at the thought of Tom getting stranded in (your hometown). Also the fact that he was probably alone during the holidays. Sure, you and him weren’t on the best terms, but it was Christmas. No one should be alone on Christmas.

You continued to talk to the Holland family for a few more minutes until they told you they had to go. You bid them all goodbye with kisses and a wave before hanging up. When the call ended, the smile on your face fell. You should’ve been happy. You were spending time with your family and it was Christmas Eve! But some things never change. As always, Tom had crept his way into your thoughts.

The breakup between you two was rough and messy. Though you should have seen it coming. There was a lack of communication on both sides of the relationship. You weren’t being honest with your feelings with him and neither was he. Of course, you understood his job. You knew he would have to travel long distances and be in a different time zone as you, he had to be gone for months, and had to work with some of the most beautiful actresses in the business. But there was something about this certain costar that didn’t sit right with you. You trusted Tom and knew that he would never cheat. You just didn’t trust her. You really tried to like her, even had some conversations with her when you went to visit Tom on set. But the way she would touch his arm whenever she would laugh or look at him the same way you would just made your blood boil. Maybe it was the green eyed monster in you that caused all these emotions, you just couldn’t help it. The green eyed monster had taken over you.

For months while Tom worked on that movie, you had been feeling your lowest. You were insecure about yourself and began to second guess things that occurred in your relationship with Tom. Which was not healthy, but it happens, you know? You hated the way you looked and how your body was shaped. You compared yourself to her even though you knew most of the pictures on her Instagram were very much edited. The more Tom got busy, the less he texted or called. Your relationship felt like it was drifting but you still made an effort. You would text him to ask about his day or to just say a simple “good morning” or “good night”. He never got the chance to reply most of the time, but when he did it would be a short response. It wasn’t like the paragraphs of him going on and on about his day and how great it was. Sometimes he would talk about getting a stunt correctly done in one take or how he would get his lines right the first time. You didn’t think much of the short replies, you usually chalked it up to him just being busy. But then you would see him on Harry or Harrison’s story at some restaurant gathered all together. Then she would also be there, nuzzled up against his side while his arm rested behind her chair. That should’ve been you.

You didn’t want to think that he was cheating on you, but the signs were literally there. You shouldn’t have fallen for them and should have talked it out with Tom instead of focusing on the scenarios that were created in your head. You knew Tom was smarter than that. He wouldn’t cheat on you, he promised you that he wouldn’t break your heart. Then those pictures from the club came out.

They were all over Instagram and Twitter. You had multiple fans tagging you on them and saw them everywhere on your feed. It was as if the world was trying to shove it into your face. The picture was taken at a club, it was the usual group of boys accompanied by some cast members from the movies. You assumed there had been some drinks involved, but Tom looked sober as ever. There were many pictures of them. There were some of them laughing, dancing, and drinking together. You spotted his arm wrapped around her waist or his hand touching her in almost all of them. Finally, there were the pictures of them practically sucking the lips off of each other’s faces. They disgusted you. The way his hands were combed through her hair or how they stroked her cheek reminded you of how he kissed you. You remember feeling sick to your stomach. The pain and the anger blended together as the tears blinded your eyes. It was like a bad dream that you couldn’t wake up from.

You realized you had been staring at your phone for the past 10 to 15 minutes. Tears welled up in your eyes as your memory began to remind you of the scar that Tom had left on your life. You felt the presence of the emptiness in your heart that you thought had healed months ago. You still love him. No matter the bullshit you went through with him, you’ve never loved anyone like Tom. The one you’ve been missing was the only thing that could fix the hollowness in your heart.

“You should invite him.” You jump as your mother makes herself present in the room. You place a hand onto your heart to calm its rapid beating.

“Geez, don’t do that.” You run a hand through your hair as you lean on the counter again. Your arms touch the cold marble, bringing some coolness into your warm body.

“You’ve been gone for about thirty minutes, it’s past twelve. Everyone was worrying about you.” You mother settled herself beside you, instead her back was leaning against the marble.

“You still love him.” She tells you quietly. You’re quick to react and stand up straight, “No I— ow my tongue!”

You whine as your teeth bite down on your tongue, your actions acting before your words.

“I don’t.”

“Really? If you didn’t love him anymore, you wouldn’t be talking to his family still or meeting up with his brothers during the weekend” you mother tilted her head at you, her arms crossed.

You shrugged, “They’re nice people.”

“You know, you should stop avoiding the truth. Denying your feelings and lying to yourself is only going to hurt you even more. I’m your mother, I hate seeing you hurt.” You turned to your mom.

“Don’t you hate him?” You asked her, voice quiet.

Your mother had a look of thought on her face, “Of course, I do, he broke your heart. But I don’t know, there’s just something about that boy.”

She snapped her fingers, “Ah! He reminds me of your dad!”

You raise a brow at her, “Tom reminds you of dad?”

“He does. I remember when we were younger, your dad made the same mistakes. I hated his guts but we crossed paths again somewhere down the road and I gave him a second chance. Now how many years later, we’re married with beautiful children and grandchildren.”

You remain silent as you stare at your phone again. You thought about asking Harry for Tom’s address but you were hesitant.

“He’s probably stuck here for a reason, (y/n).” Your mom says with a knowing look. You sigh rubbing the tiredness out your eyes. It had been a long day and you were low on energy.

“He could also be thinking about you right now.” She hummed, starting to make her way out the kitchen.

“How would you know?” You ask her.

“You bit your tongue.” She simply answers before turning the corner. You were alone in the kitchen staring at your phone once again. The debate in your head continuing throughout the night.

~The Next Day~

Your gloved hands gripped onto the steering wheel as you drove through the snowy roads. You were mindful to keep an eye out for any glossy patches to avoid getting into an accident. You turned on the street Harry sent you and peered out your window to look for the number of Tom’s rented house. Harry texted you that the house was a light gray color with black accents and had a 35 nailed to the door. When you spotted the house that matched Harry’s description, you pulled over and put the car in park. You hopped out the car, shivering when the brisk winter air came into contact with your face. Your boots sink into the snow as you trudge your way up to his door.

You get to his doorstep and began to stomp the snow off your boots. Taking a deep breath you brace yourself before you can ring his doorbell.

“It’s Christmas, he shouldn’t be alone on Christmas, this is why you’re doing this.” You mumble to yourself. You started to shake but you weren’t sure if it were your nerves or the cold. It was probably both.

You finger hovered over the doorbell for a moment before you forced yourself to push it. A string of “fucks” began to play over and over in your head like a mantra.

You waited for a few seconds for him to answer but heard nothing. You debated on ringing the bell again but your feet were already turning you away from the door, too scared to face Tom again. You were about to step off his doorstep when you heard footsteps behind the door. The lock clicked and the door opened to reveal Tom, looking disheveled as ever.

His eyes widen when he realizes it was you who rang his bell. His mouth is agape as he tries to form words. The only thing he could muster out is, “(y/n).”

“Hey.” You breath out, taking him in after avoiding him for months straight. You slowly approach him, settling to stand a few feet away from him. His hair had grown out a bit longer and there was a shadow of some facial hair on his face. You noticed that his eyes were a bit dark, almost blank. It was as if the light in his eyes had disappeared.

“What—What are you doing here?” He began to ask. He rushes to add, “Not that I don’t want you here, I’m actually really glad you’re here, but—um. I’m just— hi.” He sighs, shoulders slumping. He eyes you for a second before jumping on his feet.

“How rude of me, do you want to come in? It’s freezing out here.” He moves to the side and opens the door wider so you can walk in. You didn’t want to enter his place but the warmth of the house and the familiar scent of Tom entranced your senses.

You wiped your boots on the doormat and quietly thanked him as you walked into his rented home. You noticed that Love Actually had been playing on the tv while the couch was occupied with a bowl of popcorn and an abandoned Sherpa blanket. You loosen the scarf around your neck and turn to Tom who was already looking at you.

“So, what brings you around? Thought you didn’t want to talk to me ever since what happened.” His voice is strained as he leans against the doorway to the living room.

“Paddy called me on FaceTime yesterday.” You started. Tom sighed, shaking his head at his younger brother. You wave him off, “Don’t worry, I didn’t mind. He actually helped me avoid a family argument about Mac and Cheese.”

Tom was looking down at the floor but you saw his cheeks slightly raise, “Yeah, you never did mind Padd’s eagerness.”

“Well, he’s adorable. Anyway, I ended up talking to Harry and he said that you got stuck here during the blizzard. Also, that you were spending the holidays alone.” You began to explain rocking on the balls of your feet. You turn to his tv, the voices from it murmuring quietly, “So, if you’re done watching Love Actually for the hundredth time, um, you could come over at my place and spend Christmas with my family.”

Tom pushes off the wall and slowly shuffled towards you. His arms are crossed, something he did when he felt nervous or awkward.

“I wouldn’t want to impose, (y/n).” He finally looks up at you, his familiar brown eyes that you missed so much sending comfort into your body.

“Mom insisted.” A hint of a teasing smile played on your chapstick covered lips. No matter the situation between you and Tom, you knew he could never turn down your mother. He adored your mother, he always remembered the time when you first introduced him to her. She welcomed him with open arms and treated him like he were her fifth child.

He lets out a laugh, looking down at himself, “Guess that means I should clean up then?”

He was wearing a grey jumper with black sweatpants. A blue beanie was on his head, the ends of his curls peaking out, and his feet were covered in socks to keep him warm.

“Yeah.” You breathed out, relieved that he agreed to come and you didn’t embarrass yourself.

Tom begins to dust off the couch and moves the popcorn bowl to the coffee table. He sloppily folds the blanket and fluffs the pillows.

“I might take a while, so why don’t you get comfy?” He suggests.

“Sounds good.” You hum and unwrap the scarf from your neck. Tom is by your side at an instant and takes it from your hand. He motions at your jacket causing you to unzip it. He shuffles behind you to help you remove your arms from the sleeves. You turn around to thank him while moving your hair to rest on one side of your shoulder. You catch him staring at you once again.

“What?”

“You just look really beautiful.” He immediately answers. You’re about to respond but Tom begins to talk again, “I—I know I have no place in telling you that, but you just are.”

“Thanks, Tom.” You quietly say. He nods and moves to hang your things on the coat rack. He’s about to head up the stairs but he turns around to look at you again.

“Can we talk after?” His tone is soft, as if he were afraid of breaking the peacefulness between the two of you.

“Yeah. Yeah, we can talk.”

~⏰~

You wait in the living room for Tom to get himself ready. You try to watch the movie but all you can think about was what Tom and you could possibly talk about. You knew it would be about the breakup, but what else was there to discuss?

You heard Tom make his way down the stairs. Your eyes avert themselves to where Tom was coming from. He wore a dress shirt that had white and cream colored stripes going down it, pairing the shirt with dark jeans and dress shoes. His outfit wasn’t too fancy nor casual, it was perfect for Christmas Day with your family.

The smell of his cologne lingered it’s way to your nose. You recognized the smell even months after not seeing Tom. It was the cologne you had gotten him for his birthday. He fell in love with it the moment you gave it to him and had been wearing it ever since. You honestly thought he would switch it up after the breakup, but according to your nose, he hasn’t.

Tom presents himself to you, standing a few feet away from where you were sitting. “How is this? Too much?”

“You’re good, it’s spot on.” You reassure him. Tom hums in approval before settling himself beside you.

This was it. You guys were finally going to talk.

Tom rubs his hands together, resting his elbows on his knees. He looks at you over his shoulder, “It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other, hasn’t it?”

“Or talked.” You add with a slight shrug. An awkward silence placed itself upon you two.

Tom was the first to speak, “I was a dick. I still am, but I was a dick back then for all the shit I put you through.”

You hesitate to answer but end up agreeing, “You were a dick. But we were both responsible for what happened.”

Tom shook his head, “No, don’t try to make me feel better. I know what I did was stupid and I should have been honest with you from the start. This was all my fault. I was a horrible boyfriend, everyone made me see that. Including my parents.”

Tom turns his body to face you, “I thought not telling you this would hurt you and I less, but it only made it a hundred times worse.” Your brows bunch together.

“What do you mean?”

“I know when we broke up I said a bunch of bullshit, but I just want to explain myself, please?” His eyes are pleading, almost glossy. You motion for him to continue.

“The thing that happened between me and her was all the studio’s plan. Though I’m not going to lie and say it was all their fault, because I also played a part in it. But that was how it started. They wanted us to put on a show and lead the fans on so it could be used as promo for the movie.” He admitted. Your mouth gapes at his confession. He was probably telling the truth, but it could’ve also been a front.

“And you’re telling me this now? What, did it take you eight months to come up with an excuse for cheating?” You angrily said. “And even if it was for promo, it’s still cheating, Tom! You knew you had a girlfriend when you agreed to go along with their stupid plan!”

Tom sighed frustratedly, rubbing his palms against his face, “I know, I know it sounds made up but I swear to you, (y/n) I’m telling you the truth!”

“Then why didn’t you tell me about it from the start? Did you really think lying was better than telling me the truth? I thought we were supposed to be honest with each other, you literally broke so many promises, Tom!” You stood up, the anger fuming in you growing too much for your body.

Tom stood up as well, “I only lied to you to protect you! I thought it would be better if you thought we were drifting apart than telling you I had to be publicly seen with a girl that’s not you! By the way, I wasn’t the only one who was being dishonest, so were you!”

“No, don’t turn this around on me! I wouldn’t have to had lie about my feelings if you would’ve told me the truth! This was all your fault Tom, you’re the one who agreed to some stupid pr stunt.” Your finger jabbed itself into his chest as you told him off about his doings.

Tom took your jabs as he shamefully looked down at his feet. “You don’t think I know that?”

“I know this was my fault, (y/n).” His tearful eyes lock onto yours. His jaw clenched as he tried to stop his tears from falling.

Your hand comes back to rest at your side, “If you knew it would break us up, then why did you agree to it, Tom?”

“Because it was either actually breaking up with you or agreeing to some stunt that’ll make me seem like some Hollywood hotshot who gets all the women.” He confessed. To Tom, it felt like a weight had been taken off his shoulders. But to you it felt the opposite. All the new information seemed as if it were piling up on you, making you overwhelmed.

“If I chose neither of them, I would’ve been fired from the film and they were planning on blackmailing me, so I chose the second option. I know it wasn’t the best decision, seeing how we are now. But it was the only choice where I would still be with you.” He explains leaning forward to her closer to you. Your arms crossed to form some kind of protection for yourself.

You had just realized that Tom forced himself into a stunt just so he can still be with you. It wasn’t the best option, but he chose the option where the two of you could still be together. You sighed not knowing how to react, it all just seemed like too much.

“I—Tom you can’t just tell me all of this and expect everything to be okay between us.” You run your hand through your hair. Your eyes watering from the frustration.

“I understand why you would keep it from me, but why did you wait so long? You could’ve said that eight months ago and I probably wouldn’t have hated you as much as I do now.” Your nails dig into your skin.

Tom looks up at you, “You hate me?” He croaks out.

Your head tilts at him, “Why wouldn’t I hate you? I hate you—I’m supposed to hate you but I just can’t and I don’t know why. You’re just, you’re you and no matter how many times I try to hate you I just can’t.”

Tom shifts closer, his frame now towering over you. His fingers slightly brush against yours, causing a rush of electricity to shoot through your body.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for everything, I know I should have been honest and told you the truth. I know what I did wrong and I’m sorry.” He gently cups your face to look up at him. You missed the feel of his hands against your skin and couldn’t hold yourself back from nuzzling against his warm palms.

“I still love you so much, (y/n). I never stopped. I just—is it too late for a second chance? I know it’s not going to be the same as when we were together but I’m willing to try again. I promise I will try harder and I’ll be honest, I’ll do everything for you to be mine again. All I want is just another chance.” His thumbs brush against your cheeks. Your hands come up to grip onto his wrists.

“Tom, I don’t know.”

“Please (y/n), it’s been so hard without you. Please I just need you again. I miss you so much, everything’s been going wrong ever since you left and I feel empty. I’m not complete without you.” His voice cracks as he begs for you to give him a chance. You stare at him for a moment and your mother’s voice echos in your head.

“He’s probably stuck here for a reason, (y/n).”

Maybe your mother had a point. Things happen for a reason and maybe this was one of this moments.

Your thumbs stroke the skin of his wrist, “Fine, I’ll give you another chance Tom.”

A look of relief is on his face as he wraps his arms around you and pulls you flush against his chest. You feel his heart beating rapidly against your chest as he shoves his face into your neck.

“Thank you.” He mutters against your skin multiple times. “I promise I won’t screw it up, I’m serious.” He pulls away to make sure you’re looking into his eyes.

“I’m trusting you to keep that promise. You’re only getting one chance, Tom.” You warn him. Tom nods eagerly.

“I know, I know, I’m not going to mess this up I swear. I’m going to prove that you could trust me again, I’ll do anything.”

You smile before pressing a light kiss on his cheek, “Ok, if you’ll do anything, then we better get going. Mom’s probably wondering what’s the hold up.”

“Right. Yeah, um before we go. If you want to talk more about what happened before or have any questions, you could ask me anytime. I just dumped all of this on you unexpectedly and it probably feels like a lot.” He offers.

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

~⏰~

You and Tom arrived at your house to Christmas music blaring from the tv’s speakers and the happy chatter of your family. Your mom spots Tom at the doorway and her face lights up.

“Tom, you came!” She climbs her way through the mass amounts of wrapping paper and your niece and nephews. Tom meets her halfway and helps her remove the wrapping paper that had stuck onto her pants. She pulls him into a hug, which Tom returns immediately.

“Thank you for inviting me.” He smiles as your mom pats his cheek fondly. She waves him off, “Please honey, no one should be alone for Christmas.”

They continue to talk as your mother leads him into the living room. You see him greeting your siblings and cousins, a shy smile on his face as he shakes their hands. You couldn’t help but stare at him as he interacted with your family. It made you feel whole and warm inside, as if the emptiness in your heart was finally recovering.

You were taking off your boots when a shadow fell upon you. You look up to see Tom standing above you. “Need help?”

“No, I almost had it, the knot’s too small for my nails to undo it.” You mutter as your fingers continue to fumble with the knot. Tom kneels in front of you and gently removes your fingers from your boot.

“Let me do it, I know how fussy you get when you mess up your nails.” You smile fondly at him. The fact that he remembered how you hated messing up your nails after getting them done made the butterflies in your stomach erupt.

He gets the knot undone successfully and pulls off your boot. He holds a hand out for you and you take it. You stand up and thank him before glancing at your clothes.

“I’m gonna go upstairs and clean myself up for lunch. I’ll be back.” You place a hand on his shoulder before turning to go up the stairs. You feel his hand grip onto yours, pulling you back.

“I’ll save you a seat beside me?”

You squeeze his hand, “Yeah, I appreciate it.”

He watches you head up the stairs till the moment you turn the corner. He couldn’t believe you were back in his life. You haven’t changed at all in the months you’ve been apart. You were still beautiful and radiant as ever. He was so thankful for whatever gods that allowed him to have a second chance with you. You were all he wanted and he wasn’t going to screw it up like last time.

Your mother had called for everyone to sit at the table and you still weren’t there. Thirty or more minutes had passed since you went upstairs and so far he’s been catching up with your siblings and cousins. He’s also been dragged into playing “race cars” with your nephews and “princesses” with your only niece. Everyone had slowly shuffled into your dinning room but you were still missing. Tom even hung back in the living room for a while to see if you would catch up.

You mother spotted Tom looking back at the stairs as he decided to join your family in the dining room. She approached him and turned him towards the stairs, “Why don’t you go and check on her, tell her lunch is ready.”

Tom nods and climbs up the stairs. He’s been to your home multiple times while you two were together so he wasn’t lost. He found your door and knocked on it.

“I’ll be down in a sec!” He hears you yell from behind the door.

“Your mom said to call you down for lunch and see what’s been taking you so long.” Tom leans against the wall as he wait for you to open the door. The lock clicks and you pull it open. Your hair was in loose curls and there was some light makeup on your face. You weren’t in the jeans and sweater you were in earlier, now you were dressed in a white sweater and grey knee high boots.

“Hey.” He greets you. “You ready?”

“Yeah, I think I am.” You close the door behind yourself and stand across from Tom. He notices a shimmer around your neck. The silver chain with a circle charm hanging from it caught his eyes.

“You still have that?” He points out stepping closer to you. You glance at the necklace, “Of course I do. You gave it to me for my birthday.” Your fingers envelope around the charm, fiddling with it.

“You look stunning.” He says.

“Thanks.” The two of you stand there for a moment before Tom’s stomach grumbled.

“I think we should get going.” You laughed as you hooked your hand with his.

The two of you sat side by side at the table. He was a gentleman as always. He pulled your seat out for you and pushed it in once you were settled. He helped passed the dishes to you and even insisted on placing the food onto your plate. Lunch had gone smoothly, it was only filled with laughs, some catching up, and the stories your parents would tell at the table every year.

Your parents were in the middle of retelling their first Christmas together with your older brother, their first born. Your parents were reminiscing about the pearl ring your father gave her and how much it meant to her. You were listening to your parents when you felt a hand grip onto yours under the table. You glance down to see Tom had placed his hand above yours. His large hand enveloping your smaller ones.

“You alright?” You lean closer to him so only he can hear you. Tom squeezes your hand as a small smile forms on his lips.

“Yeah, I’m just glad to be here. Thank you.” He whispers. Your other hand covers his, your thumb stroking the top of his hand.

“So am I.” For the first time in those months apart, you finally felt like everything was complete again. Sure, you two had many things to work out and discuss. But right now, all you can think about was the man sat beside you. You weren’t missing him anymore, he was right there beside you. He was actually with you. All you wanted for Christmas was the one you’ve been missing and after eight long months of pain and longing, your wish finally came true.

[icy-warden]

@heniareth I’m answering your old ask for Saskia! Doing it in parts 😘 Original ask here

16. a conversation between your OC and their best friend

The freshly washed sheets flutter in the wind. Saskia’s enjoying sitting in their shade, sorting dried laundry into baskets. She finds comfort in the scent of soap surrounding her and a small smile appears on her lips when she finds a piece of fabric mixed into her basket. 

She breaks into a grin when she flings the thing at Soris’ face and he first lets out a cute little squeak, then turns into a lovely shade of red when he recognizes what he holds in his hands. Saskia laughs at him when he doesn’t meet her eyes, flustered, mumbling something about Alarith while stuffing the skimpy, bright red smallclothes into his pocket.

He huffs at her, embarrassed but smiles at her nevertheless when he sees how amused she is by his misery. 

“Fine, laugh all you want. Thank the Maker Shianni isn’t here, she’d never let me live it down.”

Saskia’s brow goes up. “And you’re sure I won’t tell her?”

“You won’t.” Soris says but his glance is a bit unsure and after a moment of stony silence she takes pity on him.

“I won’t.”

Soris’ shoulders drop with a heavy exhale, his freckles standing out on his still pink cheeks.

“I know.” It’s quiet between them again, both of them working on separating laundry for three households. Saskia feels Soris’ eyes on her and she tilts her head at him in silent question.

“Are you sure this is how you want to spend your time here?” She blinks at him and he clears his throat. “I mean, you could do something else. Relax. Talk with Cyrion. Not, you know, laundry.”

She shrugs. “There’s time to talk with my father later.” 

After all, during her stay in Denerim it’s natural she’s sleeping in her family’s home. 

She saw he bought a few pieces of second hand furniture and that he’s got enough wood for keeping fire going in the kitchen. Saskia’s glad he uses the coin she sends him but she’s sure he keeps most of it hidden for later. Or helps others in need. 

They talked when she arrived yesterday and she enjoyed her father’s arms around her when he hugged her tight with misty eyes upon seeing her. He made her bread and they sat at the table, Saskia listening to his tales and answering his questions as best as she felt comfortable with. She saw he was happy to see her, but felt his eyes slipping onto her ring finger from time to time. She curled her hand into fist, then let it fall on her lap. 

Saskia felt the question in the air, but breathed easier when he didn’t ask it out loud. She’s aware he knows that kind of grief that never leaves - he also is still wearing his own wedding ring.

And even if he didn’t ask, she saw sadness in his eyes. And she needed to go out, using the opportunity of visiting her cousins as an excuse.

“I like doing laundry.”

Soris snorts. “This your way of relaxing? Wardens must be really exciting. Or dull.”

“Can be both.”

“Really?” Soris shifts closer, bumping her knee with his. “Have any stories to tell?”

His eyes shine and Saskia knows he’s eager for any exciting story of her adventures. “Maybe I do.”

“Don’t keep me waiting then. Tell something. It’s really him? You know, your Commander.”

Saskia keeps looking at Soris until the tips of his ears start to blush. “You still having that crush? What will Alarith say?”

“Oh shush, it’s not like that.” Soris mumbles under his breath, squirming under her gaze and she smirks. “It’s just hard to believe it’s him. I thought he’s gone and now he’s Commander. And mage. Did you know he was one?”

Saskia hums, “When we were kids? Who knew.” 

“It’s just. I don’t know… cool?” His fingers play with the hem of a shirt. “He’s from here and we played together. Does he remember us?”

“We never talked much about it.” Soris’ face falls a little. “But I think he does. I know he nudged right people to do something more for Alienage.”

He perks at that. “Yeah? Well, I mean, there are some things that changed, but I thought it’s Shianni’s doing. She’s loud. I worry about her sometimes.” 

Saskia sighs. “I do too. Politics. It’s dangerous.” It gets people killed, she doesn’t add.

“Ah, well, but it’s Shianni! She never lets anything hold her down. She’ll first scold you then smack you if it’s not working.” 

Saskia nods at Soris’ attempt at brightening up the mood. 

“Sooo… where’s he now?”

“Who?” She asks innocently.

“Your Commander. He let you come to Denerim. Don’t you Wardens need, I don’t know, warden all time?”

She shakes her head at him, getting up with a basket hauled on her hip. “Kirkwall. And you can say his name, you know. It doesn't summon him, so don’t be shy.”

Soris stands up as well, his voice a bit higher. “I’m not shy.”

Saskia just smiles at him and turns to go down on rickety ladder.

[OC Codex Prompts]

[palmtreepalmtree]

I'm gonna do a little life vent dump here and some of it's a little heavy shit so please feel free to ignore it or move along if you're not up for it, I totally get that. <3

This was a fucking hard weekend. I looked at myself in the mirror this morning and had to laugh cause it looks like I got hit by a truck instead of looking like I slept for 7 hours.

Anyhow, a close friend has been diagnosed with breast cancer, which is as shitty as we all know it is. She's swimming in a world of uncertainties and good news and then bad news, and all the range of emotions in between. I went over to her place on Sunday with another friend to take a long walk to coffee and then a park. When I first talked to her about this last week she seemed pretty optimistic all things considered (it was early, a not very aggressive type, etc.) but in the interim she had received some complicating news and was back to feeling crazy high anxiety about it, and no longer knew what treatment would be.

Statistically, I feel like everyone I know and love should be immune from cancer at this point cause I've already had my full and fair share. But that's not how statistics work and that's not how life works and I fucking really hate that.

Also, one of my mom's good friends died on Saturday. It was not sudden - she'd been suffering from heart failure for some time. But she was not a particularly old lady so it's hitting my mom and her friend group pretty hard. This was a woman I knew well and loved, so I'm going to miss her as well in my way. She always made me feel warm and loved when we saw each other. She felt like everyone's aunt. I can't remember her once ever saying or doing something unkind. She was never snippy. She had a great laugh and a great sense of humor. That's a legacy I'd like to live up to.

Then this morning, another good friend of my mom's has been admitted to the hospital with what sounds like a pretty serious stroke. This is the woman who has been dealing with memory loss issues (I think I've mentioned that around here before). So my mom called very shaken up and upset.

Anyhow, it's all just a lot, which is why I felt like I needed to just get it out here. Even after all I've been through with losing my dad and so many members of my family, I don't feel any more emotionally equipped to handle sad and difficult things when they come. I try to remember the things that helped me before, or helped me help other people.

With covid it's going to be really difficult to help my friend with breast cancer. I can't stop my life for her, but it was clear after an incident yesterday (more on that later, I guess) that she's going to not want to have much direct interaction with people moving forward if they're (sort of maybe we don't know) exposed to (the risk of) covid.

With my cousin, I've always just tried to be an ear for her and a lighthearted distraction when she needs it. Our texts to each other are pretty silly. But with my friend, it's long past since we've had the type of friendship with a lot of laughs and lightheartedness. She's just not that sort of person. Our time together is usually spent discussing career stuff and her kids and family. I've often wondered to myself why we don't laugh very much. I laugh all the time with other people. I know that my sense of fun is very different from hers.

Anyhow, I wrote a whole side note about something else here, but my mom has called me three times since I started writing this message and my Monday staff meeting starts in 45 minutes, so I guess I better just finish this and get to work.

Thanks for listening to me vent. I'll probably be processing this stuff for a while, but I appreciate that this is a place I can do that.

[imherongraystairstrash]

I’ve been thinking about this for a while, do you think Charles,Barbara, Eugenia and Anna were close? Anna maybe less because she’s closer in age to the merry thieves set and she probably ghosted Charles after the Ariadne engagement. Would you consider a fic of them all growing up, starting with them 4 as little kids and then slowly becoming teens and adults and then dealing with Barbara’s death. I think it would be a fun idea since nobody ever considers them to be a older merry thieves.

You can thank my social anxiety for this one bc I stress wrote it in school 🙃

TW: panic attacks, death

Title: When we were young

Characters: Barbara Lightwood, Anna Lightwood, Eugenia Lightwood, Cecily Lightwood, Gabriel Lightwood, Alexander Lightwood, Sophie Lightwood, Gideon Lightwood

Anna was sitting by the fire when Charles came into the room. She hated him. She truly did. But, somehow, at that moment, she felt strange. He looked at her and it took her many years back, to when they weren’t exactly friends, but  they were far from what they are now to each other.

…

“And that was how Consul Wentworth fixed the crisis of 1687.” Charles said with a satisfied smile to himself.

The Lightwood girls were his audience. Well, sort of. Eugenia’s cheek was resting on her fist, squishing the right side of her face as her lidded eyes approached shutting completely. Anna was slumped against Eugenia, her lips pressed together tightly and her eyes opened wide, staring at a fixed spot on the floor. Their luminous dark blue glittered in the witchlight, looking exquisitely uncanny. Barbara was mid-yawn, leaning on the leg of a sofa.

“Wow, Charles. Thanks for the history lesson.” Eugenia said, monotonously. It was evident that she’d inherited her mother’s sass from the day she was born, when Barbara had woken her up by exclaiming at the sight of her newborn sister, and Genie responded by pulling her sister’s hair.

“Oh, and in 1690-“

“NO!” All three Lightwood daughters shrieked.

“I’m still not done, though.” Said Charles.

“Yes, you are.” Eugenia said, standing up and settling the matter. “We are positively bored. There is absolutely nothing to do except listen to Charles talk about politics, and if those are the only two options, frankly, I’d rather be bored.” 

Charles crossed his arms. “Being an intellect is not boring.”

Little two year old Anna looked at him with one eyebrow raised. 

“I swear, Thomas is having a better time than we are,” Eugenia said glaring at to where their parents were, with the tiny, almost invisible baby nestled in Gideon’s arms, his fingers wrapped around Sophie's thumb. The parents were all laughing about something, which made Eugenia scowl even more. 

“To be an adult.” Barbara said, with a martyred sigh. 

“We needn’t be adults to have fun.” Charles said.

“I suppose you’re going to torture us with more political trivia.” 

“No,” Charles said. “I was going to suggest we go through the attic.” 

The girls looked up at this and Charles smirked, clearly proud of himself at having come up with a good idea. For once. 

“What is in the attic?” 

Charles shrugged. “I don’t know, but there’s probably strange and obscure things. There’s a lot of that kind of stuff in our house.” 

Barbara and Eugenia exchanged a look before the eldest Lightwood sister turned to him. 

“We shall go and discover this mysterious attic you speak of.”

…

“What could this even be?” Barbara said, holding up a loose gear-like contraption. 

“Papa sometimes builds things out of clockwork.” Charles said, sitting cross legged. “Or, he used to at least.” 

 “That’s…” 

Genie and Charles looked at Barbara as she trailed off.

“Nevermind, I have no comment.”

Charles nodded as though that was a common reaction people had in terms of his father’s experiments. 

They rummaged through boxes upon boxes, finding momentos they didn’t understand such as papers upon papers of things that said many difficult words. They could distinguish a couple of words such as “infernal” and “devices”, however there were many that made no sense to them.

“What is a Mortmain?” Asked Genie.

“I think it’s an undead horse or something along those lines,” said Charles.

“Oh,” said Eugenia. “That’s disgusting.”

“Quite,” agreed Barbara.

Anna was toddling around the room, giggling. She almost tripped over a loose floorboard, and would have, had Charles not reached out and grabbed a hold of the back of her dress. 

“This is too dangerous for a small child like Anna,” Barbara said, ever the mother-goose. “I shall take her downstairs before she hurts herself.” 

Anna protested at first, but acquiesced once Barbara bribed her with the promise of dessert.

…

“What are you doing here?” Anna asked.

He looked up, his green eyes meeting her blue ones. 

…

Charles remembered that day like it was just yesterday. 

He and Eugenia had stayed behind rifling through boxes, which wasn’t unwelcome, as Eugenia and Charles had an easy, lighthearted and, at times, profound, friendship. Despite their age gap, they enjoyed each other’s company, though neither could say why. Perhaps, it was simply because they mocked each other. Or perhaps, it was sometimes they would occasionally talk about things such as philosophy, and whether what they were seeing was true, or the world was just a figment of their imaginations. Or a mixture of the two; they’d never really discussed it. 

Eugenia surprised him when she said, “do you ever feel… different from your parents?” 

Charles furrowed his brows, “in what aspect?”

“Love.” 

“Have you a suitor?” Charles inquired, intrigued.

“No. Actually, that was my question. I find that, sometimes, I don’t only enjoy the idea of a male suitor, but perhaps, I also enjoy the company of a woman. Perhaps.” She pressed her lips together tightly, as if forcing herself to stop speaking.

Charles looked at her, his bright green eyes wide. “I-um-…”

“But I’m not sure, of course.” Eugenia blurted out. “It’s not as if shadowhunters are precisely fond of that particular preference or-“

“Do you really think they wouldn’t like it?” Charles asked, softly. “Do you believe they will reject those who are like that?” 

Eugenia looked down. “I’m afraid I’m most sure of it.”

Charles had then realized that he couldn’t have both. There was no way around it. 

He knew his parents were happy and that love made them complete. However, they didn’t have to choose. They could be married and the idea wouldn’t affect their respective occupations. Charles, on the other hand, couldn’t be Consul and have the kind of love he wanted. He almost resented them because of it. They were able to do what they loved and nobody forced them to pick between one or the other. 

It was unfair. So incredibly unfair.

“I guess you better get rid of your feelings towards women than.” He said simply, “unless you’re willing to let something as simple as love get in the way of your dreams.”

“Dreams?” Eugenia asked, looking confused and a tiny bit hurt. 

 But Charles got up to go back downstairs to his parents, aunts and uncles.

… 

Charles slumped down in a chair and dug his fingers into his hair.

“She was just here.” He said quietly. “Babs, was just here.”

Anna felt sudden rage. “You are not allowed to mourn her.” 

Charles looked up. “Just because you don’t like me doesn’t mean I can’t be sad. She was my cousin too. Perhaps not by blood, but she was still a cousin.” He pressed his lips together angrily and stared fixedly at the witchlight stone that was illuminating the room. 

Anna, however, couldn’t find it in her to be diplomatic; she got up and left the room. 

…

Anna had never seen Eugenia look this way. She was always put together, posh. But now, she looked hollow. Like a shell of who she used to be. Anna wanted to go up to her, to say something, but she felt lost for words. What did you tell someone who lost a dear sister? If Anna felt sorrow, she couldn’t imagine what Eugenia was feeling. 

Her head was tilted upwards, looking up at the pyre where the corpse of her sister lay. Tears were streaming down her face, rolling down her cheeks, throat and chest, leaving streaks on her face that looked like the roots of a tree.

Sophie had her arm around her daughter. The sight of the four of them was very strange. There was a gap missing where Barbara should have been. She suddenly felt a hand take hold of her own. She looked to her right and saw her mother looking straight ahead, squeezing her daughter’s hand. Her father was looking down, holding Alex. Her baby brother was one of the few who looked up at the cousin who’d taught him to play simple songs on the piano, and had always let him sleep in her arms on New Year's eve.  

She didn’t know what he must have been thinking now, staring up at the pyre. 

Though, to be fair, she didn’t quite know what to think herself, as she looked up at the cousin who’s life was cut far too short.

…

Eugenia’s body didn’t feel like her own. She hadn’t felt this body was her own for a while. Even since Augustus and the secret she’d kept to herself.

This was somehow worse. To be torn away from your best friend, whom you’d shared a room with almost your entire life. Eugenia didn’t know how to live in a world without Barbara. Sometimes, in the rare moments when she forgot about her sadness, she’d call her sister’s name, ready to tell her about what had happened in her novel. Or find herself walking to Barbara’s room without thinking and then staring blankly at the door that has remained shut ever since the day she passed away.

A couple of weeks ago, she’d found a letter Barbara had sent her when she’d been in Idris. It was in between her copy of Jane Eyre. She couldn’t bring herself to read it in its entirety, but she stared at the signature blankly. 

Suddenly, she got the urge to run. So she ran. That’s how, an hour later, she’d gotten a small tattoo under her ankle that said “Sincerely, your favorite sister Babs.” 

It felt right to have Bab’s signature there, we’re only she could see. It made her feel accompanied everywhere she went, even though nobody else could see. 

Now, looking up at the pyre, her face tight from tears she’d left to dry, her mother weeping silently, she could almost imagine that her sister was there, simply caught in a slumber and that she’d wake up at any moment and come tumbling down, throwing herself in Eugenia’s arms.

Any moment now, she thought when the pyre burst into flames. 

“Ave atque vale, Barbara Lightwood.” The crowd said at once.

Eugenia shook her head and swayed on her feet. Her breathing became heavy and her fingers began prickling. Suddenly, she couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t move. No nononono. 

She felt a hand on her shoulder, vaguely that it was her father’s. 

Not Barbara.

Not Babs.

“Calm down, Genie.”

Not her sister. Her sister couldn’t possibly be up there.

“Breathe Eugenia.”

She wanted to scream that she couldn’t, that she’d never breathe again, as long as her sister wasn’t breathing with her. Why did she have to live? She would have much preferred that Barbara live in her stead. 

The world was numb and fractured, never to be fixed again. 

…

(Don’t worry, Gideon was able to help Genie after the fic ends bc he’s the best dad)

Tagging: @tsccreatorsnet  @atla-lok143  @rinadragomir  @youngreckless  @autumnangel20  @julemmaes @cupcakesandkittens  @no-scones-allowed  @ninacarstairss  @stxr-thxif  @writeforjordelia  @icouldnotask @jordeliasupremacy  @cordelia-cardale  @will-effing-herondale  @axoloteca @heronstairs2014 @ilovemanicures @ti-bae-rius @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @readersconfessions812 @nightshade3465 @livvyheronstairs @zemiraa @proudtobealuthor @neurogliadudette @theenchanteddreamer @cheeseandmacarons

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[bangtanpromptsfics]

pyxis.

dialogue prompt #9: “Cheer up it's Christmas Eve, sweetheart”

pairing: jimin x reader

genre: christmas au, brother's best friend au, fluff, childhood friends to lovers

word count: 3,412 (oh no)

warnings: reader is a lil sad but nothing angsty tho

summary: christmas was always an eager wait. less for the tree decorations, family dinner and the fuss of toddlers. more for your childhood best friend who you kissed under a mistletoe years back.

a/n: ahhh!!! I'm not completely satisfied with how this turned out to be. the inspiration was from a few christmas themed fics I read here and the movie ‘It's Christmas, Eve’. anyway this was my attempt though it's nowhere near christmas time. one of my personal goals is to celebrate a christmas like the west, the snow, the fuss and the commotion ;-;. Also I lost sense of time and space and this turned out to be 3k ;-;

masterlist

“Cheer up it's christmas eve, sweetheart”, your mother chimes as she pours brown batter into little cupcake moulds.

You simply smile at her, the festive mood not really getting to you because of exhaustion. Uni was tough, and enjoying this Christmas when you know you have tons of essays due in a few days was hammering inside your brain every now and then.

“Is that chocolate?”, you ask, leaning your tired body on the counter where she is at work.

“And orange”, she smiles, turning around to preheat the oven.

“Where's Jin”. Though you hated the routinely flicks against your forehead, the absence of your big brother felt weird.

“He went with Jimin to get the Christmas tree”.

The mention of Jimin brings a smile to your face. His soft features and captivating grin filling your head. If there was one of the few things you enjoyed coming back to your hometown for holidays, it's chocolate cupcakes your mom bakes and Jimin.

His family are friends with yours after all. You, Jin and Jimin attended the same school until college and other priorities in life drift you apart. Though the bond must have rusted a bit, you can't deny the fact that you still have that crush which started somewhere in middle school, on a chritmas eve like this when he kissed your cheeks shyly under the mistletoe. Your friends and family, and even Jimin himself must have seen it nothing more than platonic, but you still find yourself relieving the moment in your head however crazy it may sound.

Standing up straight, you decide to fix your bed hair and complete the skincare routine before the said duo drops.

“Mrs. Y/L/n...”, Jimin softly kicks the back door. He is carrying one end of a huge fir, and your brother on the other end, grunting from the freezing snow outside.

“Oh dear place it right there”, you mother is quick to her feet helping the boys and doing her usual commentary on how well the tree looked.

Jimin looks more handsome than ever, especially with his nose and cheeks dusted in scarlet from the cold. He looks really huggable in his fluffy sweaters and red beanie. Jin is busy commanding around so you choose to sit back, a very typical sibling energy and the size of decoration boxes and the tree itself not really appetizing to your will to find any strength.

“Hey Y/n!”, Jimin stares back at your eyes in a split moment which has your lashes fluttering suddenly. You probably look like you are carrying a disease and right now you become very hyper aware of that.

“You alright? You look tired”, he comments. You feel his eyes carefully studying the black under your eyes and worrying his mind because that's what he is like. He cares about everyone and everything, has a heart so soft it hurts to even think about it.

“Jet lag...”, you say, “I'll be fine”. You shoot a little thumbs up on his way to reassure.

“Why didn't Jin get the tree earlier? It's Christmas in a few hours”, you dodge the focus around you and walk near in an attempt to closely examine the tree for no reason other than feeling Jimin’s eyes a little too long on you.

Your brother gets visibly annoyed seeing you start a very unnecessary talk. So he is completely obliged to shoot back with, “Because you were in charge of Christmas decorations this year but your lazy ass flew down here only yesterday”.

“You know I was busy with Uni!”

“Whatever”, he shrugs, getting back to the box of tree decorations. You feel a little bad seeing yourself not being helpful during a festive season. It felt like you were procrastinating on your responsibilities as always.

“Um...is there any way I can help?”, you ask softly, earning a mischievous grin from Jin and your mom fills in the answer.

“We need more baubles. Also I missed out gifts for Aerum and June, so maybe you can get them”. Now this was already tiring and you were not lying earlier either, the jet lag was still choking you alive. You wonder if the huge pile of stars and glitters beside your foot aren't enough but then maybe it's true because this is the largest fir you ever saw for Christmas in your house. And speaking of the five year old notorious duo, your cousins-- Aerum and June, you have no other option than to step out into the butt numbing cold and get something for the sake of not getting your brains eaten.

While you stand there doing these calculations, Jimin puts a two and two and immediately suggests to tag along with you.

“That'd be great! Thanks sweetie”, your mom chimes, her fine lines of face gathering around her eyes while she does so and you catch her throwing a wink to your side and you pretend you never saw that.

“Thank you Jimin”, you smile in all honesty while he reciprocates the same.

“No problem. I'll get my car. Will you be ready in an hour? I think you just woke up”

“Uh...yeah”, you fake a laugh, “Yes I'll be ready in an hour”

Jimin still lives here in your hometown, attends a community college nearby and his house is just a few steps away from your own. You remember how you had the same analogy in your mind as well. You like living here. You like Jimin’s company. The lake Park and the annual ice skating competition in December and the bookstores and coffee shops at the outskirts of the town. And you can't seem to clearly remember when and where that feeling started to become foreign. Maybe it was a teenage quirk to explore the world that you are now a three hour flight away from all of this. It wasn't a deep regret, but seeing Jimin, it almost felt like it. It felt like you betrayed him. Because he seemed to be keeping his word to this day.

This year, it's a few degrees lower than what it usually is and you find yourself chattering your teeth together as you walk to Jimin’s house.

His footsteps rush to get the door as soon as you ring the doorbell and he greets with the same wide grin as if he hasn't just saw you an hour ago.

“Let's go?”, he asks immediately, getting house keys from his coat pocket and locking the front door before stepping out making you confused.

“There's no one home? Where are your parents?”

“Oh well didn't Mrs. Y/L/n tell you?”, he studies your features and gets his response so he continues “They went to New York this year for Christmas. It's some elder people thing I think...so I'll be spending Christmas this year with your family”

“Really!?”, you chime, and then immediately notice a very childish jump you did with tiny fists and all, feeling a little embarrassed at yourself, “Ah... uh I mean that's great”.

“Yeah”, he giggles, sounding like a twelve year old who is still waiting for his growth spurt, “Get in the car it's freezing in here”.

Since it's been six odd months you've spoken to Jimin, you figured it would would be strange and awkward to be with him, but his demeanor states otherwise. He could effortlessly begin conversations and build momentum with you and by the time you are at a thrift store, he is aware of the little gist of student life and the dramatically exaggerated history research paper still due.

“What are you getting for the twins?”, he asks, seeing you checking out the kids toys section with absolutely no idea and that's exactly what you reply to him.

“How about this puzzle?”, he brings a big jigsaw to your glance and you figure it's a great thing to have their little brains engaged and give yourself time to breathe.

“It's perfect!”, you add, immediately placing it your cart with a few decors you picked up from earlier aisles.

Jimin places an extra pack of Christmas candies in the cart, and you send him a questionable look knowing it's his way of bribing the kids coming this evening. He puts too much effort into people's happiness, something you wish you were capable of as well.

The shopping went smooth. It was therapeutic to get hot chocolate with extra marshmallows afterwards like he insisted followed by that very cliche movie scene where one of them develops a creme moustache and the other notices and dabs it off.

You want this moment to linger a little longer, but your whole family arrives in less than two hours and the decorations were due. If Jin doesn't have you in the next thirty minutes he might as well eat all the cupcakes your mom is baking as revenge.

“I had a great time”, Jimin states as he stops the car in front of your house, stealing the words from your mouth and warmth hugs your cheeks immediately.

“Me too. It's been long since we spent time with each other”

You hear a lone sigh with white fogs coming out of his plump lips while he does so, as if he were suddenly sad when you mentioned that.

“Are you okay?”

His grips tightens around the steering, “I've missed you”, he says, eyes meeting slowly. And as if he was suddenly pulled back to earth he conjures another sentence to not sound so vulnerable.

“I uh... It's just--”

“I've missed you too”

Even with the gear box painstakingly blocking the way, you throw your upper half towards his body anyways and you find him hugging you back. His hugs still feel the same from years back; safe and warm and filled with love.

If it wasn't for the constant reminder that your brother is probably plotting a murder against you, you would've stayed much longer in his embrace. Maybe the hug was a big straightforward for a bond still gradually blooming, but it didn't feel weird at all and when you pull back he is smiling down at you.

“I thought you two lovebirds flew off”, a very annoyed Jin states from above you. He is balancing himself on a chair to attach the mistletoe to the ceiling.

“Sorry hyung”, Jimin says. And somehow now you are getting super aware of the way your family is low key shipping you both. Not that it's an irritating thing of course though you seem to act like it. But you have no idea what's going on with Jimin, what if he said he missed you as your childhood friend? It's a lot difficult to segregate his priority of giving affection. He seems to be giving justice in terms of care for every living being he knows.

“The circus is on its way so I hope you both hurry with putting up everything together”, the voice above states, now lowering himself to ground after putting up the twig.

Three of you giggle at the mention of your family as a circus. Well in a way it definitely was. You have a bunch if uncles who crack awful jokes, a trait Jin himself as picked up from a tender age of ten. Then their wives and kids who share certainly the same braincells in comprehending things. You bet they'll ask you again about your major and your dating history once they walk in through that door amidst clearly stating everytime that you are a history major and yes still very single.

In the hallway there is a half decorated tree. A thread of fairly lights wrapped around the green and very few baubles hanging here and there.

“I'll put up the star and join you”, Jimin says, digging out a golden star from the carton. Though now he doesn't know why it was a good idea for him to announce that when both of you were almost the same height. He is just a few centimeters taller than you and the top of the fir is still very much way above your heads.

So with a chuckle you both figure Jin has to do it.

“This is your final year right?”, Jimin asks stepping closer to you. He seemed nervous about something. Or was it anxious?

“Yeah...you?”

“Yeah...”, his sweet tone was drawn almost like a whisper and you sense you should ask him further about what's wrong. But before you had to deal with a starter he continues,

“Are you planning to work in Chicago as well?”

“Sweetheart help me clean up the kitchen please”, your hear your mom's voice overpowering through the house. Which is good. Because you don't know what you are supposed to answer. It was as if he was almost hopeful that you'll choose your hometown all over again. But you aren't sure. So you take the opportunity to step away from the situation excusing yourself.

And while you are clearing the blobs of batter stuck on the counter, your mind is a haywire. What are you going to do? Though you know your whole family wants you to stay, it's still a foggy place to be in. Four years apart in another city as a college student has not provided much, except caffeine addiction and sleepless nights. Things were not even as fun as everyone told you.

A few steps away Jimin silently prays that you stay, because he had truly missed you. Even though you have outgrown from the eighteen year old shell as he had known, he finds himself actively choosing to be with you. Even when other things in life occupies his mind, there's an element of it which goes back to you.

“They are here!”. You groan silently, while your parents are throwing their hands in air, giggles and chatter fills in as your uncles and aunts and the taunting toddlers welcome themselves in.

“Y/n! You have grown so much!”, the older aunt comments, and you supply a manufactured smile to tag along. Other comments follow by soon, about how tired you are, gasps about not having a partner and future plans, all of which are not completely answerable at the moment but you manage to get through them all and finally excusing yourself back to the garage convincing there are more decor supplies in there.

Families are nice. They make festivals brighter and lives less lonely. But yours was just hard sometimes. Not that you completely loathed the people now fueling themselves off the cup cakes your mom bakes, you were just merely lost, still yet to come up with an answer to what your stance is after graduation.

“Hey...”. Jimin has joined you now which you notice feeling a warmth against your shoulder when he sits, with an extra scraf knowing the garage is still comparatively chilly than the house, “you okay?”.

“Yeah...I was just...thinking”

“Is this about earlier? I'm sorry if I made you anxious”, he quickly adds.

“No!...I mean yeah but, it's high time I find a ground with this. What are your plans?”

“I was thinking about teaching at Jefferson High”, he shifts rather uncomfortably. He is talking of the school in your town, your school, where you have lots of memories with Jimin, “You know...like we said during Junior year in high school?”

“I'm sorry Jimin”, you feel the guilt inside you growing, “I never kept my promises”.

“Hey...that's okay! Everyone changes. I just want you to be happy. I...I hope you are happy Y/n”, he reassures, taking your hand from your side and squeezing it between his soft palms.

“I don't know about that either...”

As much as you hated showcasing vulnerability to another person, you know Jimin is an exception. You had cried to him about everything during school days and he had never invalidated a single thing, even when you were visibly dramatic over a downpour during a family picnic when you were five.

Jimin is frozen on his seat as if he can't find the words. He was never good with words so instead he hugs you, a little longer than the last time till he is sure you have calmed down. Grateful for not ending up crying, you smile up at him and remind yourselves to get back inside to avoid suspicion, especially from the kids who take humiliating people as an important milestone to achieve.

When you enter back inside and get immediately surrounded by a million questions and chores thrown at you, you find your answer. Maybe your heart belongs back to everything your younger self had blabbered about. Not to mention, this fairly good reunion with your crush feels nice, though, he might still see it as platonic. Maybe he makes things less daunting.

By the way Jimin was owning everyone's heart in the house, it felt like he was family. Well in a way he is. But to put more clarity, he bought things together and his actions bought so much peace and love within everyone. Even the notorious twins listen carefully to him and help the uncles and aunts in the kitchen.

He is again by your side, two cupcakes rests on his palms and you take it with a silent ‘thanks’.

Seeing no signs of him beginning a talk now, you think of coming up with something. Maybe a memoir from today? Or about how absolutely handsome he looks right now? Wait.

“They are under the kissing twig!”, Aerum screams like the house caught in fire, her sibling joining by the side to provoke the habit even more.

“It's called a mistletoe Aerum”, your aunt corrects before pasting a smug across her lips.

Nothing changed. They are the same people. Hyping you and Jimin to kiss just like when you were thirteen. If the factor of time is removed, this is the exact night. Both of you cemented to the flooring as if you forgot to exist.

Both of your necks snap together to the mistletoe Jin had attached to the ceiling earlier. And when you lower your gaze back, face gawks at each other eye to eye. It's the same. He has that blush, the shyness from years ago. It's going to be platonic. Yet again. And this moment will only ever be romantic and flowery in your head.

June was the first to squeak, and Aerum shuts her eyes the moment Jimin is leaning his mouth towards your lips. It was difficult to relax under the stares of many, but when he ghosts his mouth over your again and leans in for a second kiss, you are fixated on him. Hands holding each other, the plump of his lips so soft it felt like you were biting into a fluff of cloud.

Maybe he'll have an explanation to your family for this. Not like anyone in the audience was disappointed. Your mother was almost in tears? And Jin looked hardly surprised with any of this. As if it was all swell according to his plans.

“You both are so cute”, one of the aunts awes and your mother is quick by her side, completely agreeing to it.

“Jimin...”, you return your gaze to the equally flustered man who just kissed you and he sounded almost breathless,

“I'm sorry if this was wrong it ju--”

“I like you”, you immediately snap in and his face is a void for an instant. Fully processing the words, his eyes disappear when he grins, “I like you too...a lot”.

“Are you two dating?”, the twins haven't dropped the case yet, running to your feet to help their curious brains.

“Yes...”, Jimin responds, looking up at you for a reassurance, which you quickly supply with a nod, “Yes we are dating”.

When the kids are satisfied they go away snickering to themselves.

“I decided to stay”, you say.

“Really!?”, his disbelief was comical, yet wholesome considering how much he wished for this, “I'm...I'm so happy!”.

Giggling at him, this time you lean forward and peck the corner of his lips.

“You lovebirds better get a room”, Jin announces and thankfully not loud enough to catch everyone else's attention.

Usually Jin expects a punch to his arms from his sister, but he sees how grateful you are for his mistletoe decor. He leaves the couple, satisfied that there won't be any more ranting about how much Jimin likes you.

Thank you so much for reading!! ♡♡

Original Content of ©bangtanpromptsfics

[seemawrites]

Mother and Me

I look over to my mum while she’s deep in her sleep. I wonder what she could possibly be dreaming about. She looks so peaceful when she sleeps, nothing like I feel when I’m resting. But then again, people say I get the way I sleep from my mother.

Being the eldest daughter in any family is tough, but mine has brought me confusion in my everyday life. I always sit and wonder if I do enough for her, for them, but I know I don’t. I don’t go to family gatherings anymore, unless my mother tells me in advance and I have enough money. I don’t bother sitting and talking with the gossiping aunties, or the cousins who talk about the most mind-numbing basic shit possible. I don’t bother being fake and pretending the elders in my family are good people. I can’t be bothered because I really don’t care. I express myself fully no matter who is in the room. I may hold back a few things, but my attitude remains the same. But my mother. My mother can slap a smile on in front of anyone, and just do it. She does it all and more.

I have heard incredible stories about my mother. About the time she snuck out of her dad’s house to go to a party that her eldest brother was sneaking her out to. About the time she won a swimming race in her hometown, but her father was so angry with her that she wore a swim suit. About how she learned Arabic watching TV so when she moved to Saudi Arabia is would be easier for her. About how she managed to travel to Italy, all by herself, as a Muslim woman and youngest daughter of an African family.

I will never know the parts of her life before she had me, and I don’t think I’ll ever really know the parts of her life she keeps a secret after she’s had me.

When I was younger, I wanted to die. More than anything, that was my wish. And my mother didn’t handle it well. I wonder if she knew what she was doing when she spewed evil words at me, thinking it would make me not want to die. I wonder if she knows that I remember it like it was yesterday. I wonder if she knows I forgave her, because she came from a life far worse than mine, and didn’t have to opportunity to be sad about it.

Does she know that I won’t look at her less if she’s told me she’s had an alcoholic drink? That I won’t look at her less if she told me she’s done drugs? That she has cried tears that will fill rivers and grow taller than mountains because of sacrifices she made for her family? That I won’t look at her any less if she tells me she hates some of her family for that?

I sometimes wish desperately to turn to her and tell her, “I know mommy, I know more than you would’ve liked for me to find out,” Because she has turned to hate a lot of the ways I have turned to be like her. I don’t know if she even understands that I know she does.

She moves in her sleep and I hold my breath. She lets out a deep breath. She has sleep apnea and it gets worse the more stressed she is. She’s always stressed though, and I always worry. I try to tell her to let me help her all the time, and each time she shoos me away.

Maybe she knows that I have grown to understand not everything under the sun is so bright. Maybe she chooses not to believe it. Maybe she doesn’t know at all, because we never get to talk about these things.

I wonder where my mother would be if she ended up staying in Italy. If she had gotten the chance to live her life to the fullest without the feeling of family obligations battering down her back. I wonder how she felt when I demanded to fix my life for the sake of myself, with no one else in mind. I only wanted to get better when I wanted to get better. I never did it for her, and I wonder if she’s angry with me for that.

I would like to take my mother out to dinner, and get to know her a little better than she would allow me. I want her to tell me about her first kiss, or about the first time she ever felt so lonely that it felt like her chest cracked open. I want her to tell me about how she truly feels about her father, beyond the niceness she provides him since he’s dead now. I want her to tell me how she felt when her mother denied her the chance to go to Canada, simply because she was an unmarried woman. I wonder what it was like being married to my father, a handsome and successful man, and how she felt when other women used to chase him endlessly.

There are so many things I want my mother to tell me, and so many things I want to tell my mother. I want her to be able to be there for me in ways I had to sacrifice to be there for her as a teenager. There was a time where every time I broke down, she would break down with me, and tell me how horrible of a mother she is. I want to tell her I need to know her as a whole person before I can even begin to think like that. That I understand the difference between a bad person and a good person who does bad things sometimes. We are all human, and I wish she would allow me to look at her that way. I wonder if she knows how much of my own feelings I set aside in order for her to feel better about herself. I wonder if she knows that I allowed it because if she forced herself to understand why I was so sad, then she’d have to realise that it’s because of generations of trauma finally pouring onto me like I was being waterboarded in Guantanamo Bay. She’d have to realise the trauma’s that she carries deep down in the pits of her stomach, and has pushed down in order to be “resilient”. I wonder if she hates me for giving up resilience for my mental well-being.

People tell me to wait till I’m 30 to ask all these questions. But I’m 24 now, and I have lived outside of my parents home for almost 5 years now, and things in life have taught me we don’t all have till we’re 30.

I want to know who she is beyond her as my mother. I want to know her as the full woman that she is. The mistakes she’s made, the men that have hurt her, the drunk nights she spent with her best friends, the adventures she took without realising it would turn into one, the jobs she had to work to survive, the things she had to do to survive. I would write more things I would like to know about her, but I truly don’t know anything about her.

The confusion comes from how can I blindly love someone as a whole person if I don’t know how they are when I’m not around, how they were before I was around.

I wonder if she’s really okay. She says prayers help her, and she prays for us to be good every day. 5 times a day she does this. I have stopped doing this years ago. I wonder if she hates me for that too. I wonder if she’s okay with it but pretends to not be for the sake of being a “good mother”. Does she know I don’t care about family traditions? Secretly, I think she does, and she doesn’t want to talk about it.

She never wants to talk about anything. And I guess I have to wait.

[oscar-lettjohanssonloveme]

Cherry Wine (Miss Venable x reader)

well..hi :) i guess we have trash in this fanfic, but pls listen to “Cherry Wine” by Hozier while u r reading this, coz this is another song fanfic haha

warnings: toxic relationship,  bruises, abusive gf,..

google translate 

If you had to describe what was most beautiful thing in your relationship, you wouldn't have to think twice:

There was nothing better for you than waking up next to her on the weekend.

That probably sounds pretty cheesy, but actually it was sad.

Waking up next to your sleeping girlfriend in the morning was everything for you and if you sometimes doubted your relationship it was enough to kill all of your doubts.

Beep Beep Beep

You blinked sleepily and quickly reached under your pillow to turn off your alarm clock. No way, did you want her to wake up because of you.

For a few seconds you lay quietly on your back with your eyes closed, afraid that your alarm clock might have woken her after all. But there was nothing ..

Before you opened your eyes, you focused on the things you were perceiving as you always did to ground yourself.

You felt the bed beneath you, the disgusting taste in your mouth and through your closed eyelids you could feel the light that shone in through the curtains. And then of course you felt her.

You could hear her breathing, you smelled her lavender perfume and then there was her arm around your waist. Her cool fingers had wandered under your t-shirt at night and were now caressing the bruises she had inflicted on you the day before, when you had once again not done the things the way she wanted.

--------------

Her eyes and words are so icy Oh but she burns Like rum on the fire Hot and fast and angry as she can be I walk my days on a wire.

You winced when the front door slammed loudly.

"Mina .." you shouted happily and quickly wiped your hands on your shirt before running into the hallway to greet your girlfriend.

"How was your day, honey?", You stared at her nervously and watched her as she hung her coat on the cloakroom. She was obviously not in a good mood.

"Is everything okay Mina? You look-"

"Didn't I tell you to clean up the hallway?" She hissed and glared at you menacingly.

You raised your hand soothingly

"I do it after dinner .. My boss wanted to speak to me in his office after work today and I just got home.. I've only just started to cook .."

"You could have cleaned up this morning .." she scolded as she got closer and let you stagger backwards.

"And what did your disabled boss want from you?"

"I..Uhm he..I mean..he .." you stuttered.

"Jesus, Y / N ..", she spat and rolled her eyes in annoyance.

Fearful you looked up into her eyes, which stared dangerously down at you. You couldn't tell her that, she would be so angry.

"He saw the bruises and asked if everything was okay with you and me.." you uttered and closed your eyes.

The next sound you heard was a loud clap and not a second later you felt a sharp pain in your left cheek.

"Mina ..", you gasped and lifted your eyes trembling at her. Tears welled up in your eyes.

"Stop crying, Y / N .." she hissed and looked at you condescendingly.

"Our private life is none of this asshole's business .."

You nodded quickly as you rubbed your cheek.

"I told him I fell down the stairs .."

"Good girl.."

It looks ugly, but it's clean, Oh momma, don't fuss over me.

--------------------

You opened your eyes and stared at the white ceiling for a moment. You just wanted to be her good girl, that's all ... why was it so hard?

As carefully as possible, you turned your body on its side to face her. She was so beautiful.

Her long red hair was disheveled and reflected the light of the morning sun. You wanted so much to reach out a hand to brush the stray hair from her face, but then she would wake up because of you and all the rest would be over. You even set an alarm clock to watch her asleep.

------------------

"See you then, Mina .." you mumbled before running towards the front door as quickly as possible.

"Where do you think you're going?", Her voice sounded shrill and you heard her limping into the hallway behind you.

"It's Jessica's birthday today .." you said quickly as you turned around.

"We talked about it yesterday .."

Mina frowned.

"I don't remember that .."

"I even put it in the calendar .." you tried further and looked nervously at your watch.

"Mina, I really have to go ... I'm way too late .."

"I actually thought we could spend the night together.." she said, suddenly sounding sad. Immediately you felt guilty.

"You know, we could watch a movie, for once I could cook for you again and we haven't had sex for weeks .."

You stared at her. She always did that at moments like this. And you lovesick idiot craved her affection so badly.

"Please Y / N .." she said and smiled gently at you.

Damn she knew you too good ... you would kill for that smile. Everything you did for her, you did just because you wanted to see her smile. It made you so fucking happy.

"I think I can call Jessica and tell her I'm sick or something .." you mumbled and immediately hated yourself for it. Jessica was your best friend.

--------------------

Of course, you remembered the next day when you saw Jessica at work and she was incredibly angry. It was no secret that Jessica hated Mina. She said Mina wouldn't do you any good, but Jessica had no idea. Mina loved you, you knew that. She was just very complicated.

Your eyes traveled from Mina's hair to her face. She always looked so peaceful when she slept. Any harshness, all the severity had escaped from her face and she looked almost harmless.

But you knew better and sometimes you wondered how you got into this disaster.

You remembered the evening when your cousin dragged you to that party at work and you met Mina. Her dominance intimidated you and you fell in love with her immediately. Your cousin, who has not worked at kineros robotics for a long time, had advised you not to mess with her boss, but you couldn't help it.

You winced when her hand suddenly gripped your waist tightly and she pulled you closer to her. Usually you liked that, but now her hand was pressing against your fresh bruises and making you shiver. You let out a low whimper as tears stung your eyes and immediately you clapped your hand over your mouth.

The way she tells me I'm hers and she is mine Open hand or closed fist would be fine The blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine.

---------------

"Okay, what's your problem?" She scolded and hobbled into the living room when you had ignored her calls.

You sat on the sofa and played with the pillow in your lap.

"We have been living together for 2 years and have known each other for 4 .." you said without looking at her. Mina frowned.

"So what?"

You lifted your eyes and looked at her sadly.

"Why the hell did you tell your stupid secretary I was your flatmate ?? Are you kidding me?"

"My private life is none of my employees' business .." said Mina, who raised an eyebrow at your aggressive tone.

"Then you shouldn't have taken me to your stupid New Years party .." you growled and stood up.

"Am I just a flatmate? I mean, do flatmates fuck like we do? Do flatmates share a bed? Do they-"

"Be careful, Y / N ..", Mina hissed and stared at you dangerously.

"I think someone drank a little bit too much."

"Fuck you .." you mumbled.

"I go to Jessica .."

You tried to walk past her, but she grabbed your neck and pressed you against the back of the sofa. While she held your chin between her thumb and forefinger, the rest of her hand pressed against your neck and cut off your air. And while you stared at her in fear, you didn't know which was worse: the feeling of choking at any moment or the feeling that your jaw was about to break.

"You listen to me well now..", Mina spat and let the grip around your neck tighten a little. Desperately you gasped for air.

"Who owns the house? I do. Who brings the most money home? I do. Who paid for the ugly clothes you're wearing right now? I did.

You can go if you want, but if you do, you don't need to come back .. Besides, where should you be able to go? Your parents hate you, Jessica hates you .. And should you really decide to go, I'll make sure that everyone else hates you too .. You know that I can do that ... "she threatened. You heard her words but only million miles away, you were too focused on breathing.

"Mina please .." you gasped as your vision became blurred. It was too much.

"You're really pathetic .." she spat before finally letting go of your throat and you immediately gasped for air.

While you held on to the sofa, panting, your other hand rubbed your jaw. It almost felt like she broke it. Your gaze wandered carefully to Mina, who leaned on the stick with both hands and glared at you angrily.

Calls of guilty thrown at me All while she stains The sheets of some other Thrown at me so powerfully Just like she throws with the arm of her brother.

You just stared at each other for a moment before she grabbed your arm and pulled you into the kitchen, which you two had left untidy.

No, which YOU left untidy.

She let go of your arm in the door frame and left you there as she walked past you into the kitchen.

"Do you see this mess?" She barked and you nodded quickly.

"Who made this mess?"

"I .." you mumbled quietly.

"I can't hear you .." she hissed and raised her eyebrows.

"I .. "you repeated out loud, nervously rubbing your aching arm.

"Yes, exactly you .." she scolded and made you flinch when she threw a plate on the floor and it shattered into a thousand pieces.

"YOUR chaos in MY house ..", another plate flew on the floor.

"YOU live on MY money ..", this time it was a cup.

"And YOU are MY girlfriend and not the other way around and if I think it's right to keep that to myself, then that's my damn decision ..." she screamed, her jaw trembling.

You just stared at her and didn't dare to move when she suddenly grabbed a glass and threw it at you before it splintered on the door frame next to you. Immediately you woke up from your stupor and let out a little scream, before you turned around and ran into the bathroom to lock the door behind you.

Breathe Y / N, breathe

You pressed your back against the bathroom door and slid down the wood. Your hands caught in your hair as you pulled your knees up to your chest and began to sob softly into your jeans.

That damn glass was supposed to hit you ..

Mina had already done a lot to you, hit you, choked you, spat on you, but this glass broke right next to your head. The broken pieces could have hit your eyes.

You didn't understand what her problem was .. You loved Mina so much and all you wanted was to see her smile, but apparently you always made things worse.

At some point your crying had calmed down and you could breathe again.

You closed your eyes and focused again on the things you were feeling. You could feel the wooden door on your back while your fingers dug into the soft carpet. In your mouth it tasted like the salt of your tears and you smelled the air freshener in the bathroom. In the end there was only what you heard, but there was nothing, just silence.

You pressed your ear against the bathroom door, but you couldn't hear anything. You'd probably been sitting here for hours and Mina went to bed.

You stood carefully up with shaky legs and lean on the bathtub.

When you stood, you couldn't help but look in the mirror.

Holy shit

You looked like shit. Your hair was disheveled, the elaborate make-up had run and then there were those dark spots on your jaw and neck. There she had marked you ..

But I want it It's a crime That she's not around most of the time. The way she shows me I'm hers and she is mine Open hand or closed fist would be fine Blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine.

You carefully stretched your fingers towards the bruises, only to regret it straight away as pain twitched through your body. Your hand slid down to grab the cool handle of the sink and then turn it up. Cold water splashed into your hand and you bent down to wash your face. Which turned out to be relatively difficult because you had to avoid your jaw. After washing your face, you grabbed the brush to comb your hair. Satisfied, you found that you only looked half as bad as you did a few minutes ago.

As you stepped out into the hallway you immediately noticed that all the lights were off and still you couldn't hear anything ... She had actually gone to bed. You didn't have to think twice when you decided to go back into the living room to sleep on the couch.

You carefully lay on your side and pulled the soft wool blanket over you.

You had no idea what time it was, you didn't really care. All you wanted was to sleep, even though you were terrified of waking up the next morning.

You were already half asleep when you heard the tap of her stick in the hallway. Immediately you opened your eyes again and pulled the covers a little tighter to your shoulders.

"Y / N?" You heard her voice softly from the hallway and you began to shiver slightly. She didn't sound like the Mina who had thrown the glass at her earlier.

"Are you awake?", She tried again and suddenly switched on the light in the hallway.

She stepped into the living room and saw you lying on the sofa. You ignored her and stared at the bookshelf opposite the sofa.

"Why aren't you in bed?" She asked as she sat on the edge of the sofa and put a hand on your thigh, which made you wince.

"I didn't want to .." you muttered, still staring at the bookcase.

"I am so so sorry .." you heard her whisper. You carefully directed your gaze to her and met her worried eyes.

"You always say that afterwards .." you replied courageously and sat up. Mina stared at the bruises on your jaw. She carefully raised her hand to your jaw and ran her fingers over it. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. At any moment her grip could be get firmer again.

"Does it hurt?" She asked softly.

"Only when you touch it .."

Immediately her hand jerked back into her lap.

"I..uhm..wait here for a moment .."

You watched her get up and walk out of the room only to come back a minute later with a jar in hand.

You frowned in confusion when she sat down next to you again and you realized that the jar was the lotion for her back.

"I thought it might help your bruises too .." she explained when she noticed your confusion. You didn't answer and watched as she took the lid off the jar and applied some of the lotion to her fingers.

"May I..?" She asked as she reached out her hand to your jaw again. You nodded slowly and she carefully began to spread the lotion on your abused skin. Your eyes never left hers and you wondered why she was just this way to you when she apologized or when she wanted something from you.

You wanted her to always be like that to you and you would work so much for it that it was like that at some point.

Her fight and fury is fiery Oh but she loves Like sleep to the freezing Sweet and right and merciful I'm all but washed In the tide of her breathing.

"Do you forgive me?" She asked, putting her hand on your cheek. You automatically leaned into her touch and wished you could do something like that more often.

"Of course I do .." you said and smiled gently.

..Like I always do

--------------------

"Hello princess ..", her sleepy voice purred in your ear and she hugged you a little tighter.

You carefully turned your head towards her to stare straight into her brown eyes.

If the eyes really were the gate to the soul, then this gate seemed to be closed. No matter how many times you looked for answers in her eyes, you would never find an explanation for her behavior. Often you saw fire, poison and cold in her eyes at the same time and then there were moments like this when you couldn't see any of the hate, just love.

"Did I wake you up?" You whispered and were scared for a moment, but she quickly shook her head.

"No..You know, I dreamed of you, princess .." she smiled as she started to play with your hair.

"Oh yes?"

"Mhm .." she hummed and began to press gentle kisses against your face.

"We were on the beach in Italy .."

"Italy .." you repeated with closed eyes and tried to suppress the tears that welled up in you. It was all so contradicting itself. While one hand gently scratched your scalp, the other was still squeezing the bruises on your waist.

Yesterday she had yelled at you and told you, how ungrateful you were and this morning she told you, that she had dreamed of you and was so lovely with you.

It was like having a relationship with two people at the same time. And you knew that she was breaking you more and more every day. But you could never leave her, she had put you under her spell and you were like cement in her hands

And it's worth it, it's divine I have this some of the time

If you had to describe what was most beautiful in your relationship, you wouldn't have to think twice:

There was nothing better for you than waking up next to her on the weekend.

Because no matter how angry she was the night before, she would always be gentle with you in the morning and that was the only thing you wanted.

The way she shows me I'm hers and she is mine Open hand or closed fist would be fine The blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine.

[aphrodite-would-be-proud]

can i maybe request the following? : it’s the reader and reiner’s 1 year anniversary so they go to a nice walk in the park and/or get lunch/dinner. i don’t know bsjkdjd but reading your wholesome headcanons makes me so happy !!

Hi! Sorry it took so long for me to answer but I wanted to finish the Reiner's proposal request before this since they kinda match🌸

And yeah I'd love to do some Reiner only content💖 my guy been watching the kids a lot he deserves a romantic break.

Reiner celebrating your 1st anniversary

{ Reiner x reader | tw: mentions of depression, tw:therapy | romance, fluff | modern }

{ "the glory of the morning" by Thomas Edwin Mostyn 1864-1930 }

It's a special day, that was the first thought that Reiner had when he woke up that morning. He never had a special day to look forward to before. It's a nice feeling to have one, he found out.

Already a full year huh? Time really flies by fast.

Maybe it was his subconscious projecting what he wants into reality, or maybe the universe also agreed for it to be a special day. It doesn't matter really, because when he looked at your still sleeping figure, the yellow and orange sunlights making you almost glow, he felt his heart flutter.

You woke up with a kiss that day.

Both of you have a vague plan on how to spend the day, that's why he's making some sandwiches right now while you sort the utensils in the basket.

Out of habit, he cuts the crust off and only notices it when you point it out.

The weather is a little chilly when you reach the park, the warm sun giving you a bit of comfort.

It's a comfortably quiet walk, you're holding hands and he occasionally forgets the beautiful lake view right next to him only to stare at you instead.

Neither of you is in a hurry, you have the full day for yourselves to enjoy since Zeke's planning on taking Gabi and the rest to the park today, he was really excited to teach them to play baseball.

You look at Reiner, he's wearing a yellow sweater, you think it looks good on him.

After you finish your walk and get enough fresh air, you both settle down under the orange tree at the end of the lake. Some orange blossoms just started to bloom between the leaves, you hope they'll survive till spring arrives.

One topic leads to another and you find yourselves talking about the past, when you first met, the place and time, how you felt at that moment.

What were you wearing, how exactly did you start a conversation and interact, who made the first move and who said I love you first.

Your first day of moving in together, your first fight and how you made up after it.

You remember meeting his cousins for the first time, each one of them having a different reaction to him introducing you as his date. They didn't like you at first, and just yesterday you were building a pillow fort together in the living room.

Has it really been that long?

You look at Reiner, recalling the time you first saw him. The bags under his eyes significantly improved, his lips now have an up curve to them and his eyes seem full of life, completely opposite to when you first met.

You think about all the things he mentally struggled with, the first time you comforted him after a nightmare, the first time he had a breakdown in front of you.

You remember being by his side in his first therapy appointment, it took you a lot of support and patient to convince him to go. You remember holding his hand as he cried on your shoulder in the cab while going home that day.

And now, you can't even recall the last time he skipped a meal or had a really serious panic attack. Yes he still has some really dark days when his old habits crawl back to him like a comfort blanket, but he's far more cooperative and trusting of you when you try to help now.

He's smiling again, he can experience all emotions again. To be happy, sad, surprised, excited, worried and calm again.

It took a lot of tries and errors, changing therapists and trying different methods. In the end, you can see how it all was worth it when he looks at you with a smile on his face before pulling you closer.

After eating the food that he prepared, both of you lay back and look at the morning sky. The clouds moving slowly with the wind, a couple of orange blossoms fall from the tree.

They smell really nice, a couple fall directly into Reiner's hair and you don't think about removing them.

A game of guessing the clouds shapes takes place between you two, some are really adorable shapes, others are complicated and some are funny.

His thumb trace over your ring finger, he rolls the ring around before taking your hand in his. His eyes don't leave the clouds as he brings it to his lips, giving it a soft kiss.

"You know, whenever I looked at my future it always seemed so...blurry. sometimes even just blank." He says against your hand, "but now, for once It's more clear, you're in it and it doesn't seem bad....the opposite actually."

The rest of the day gets spent by with you leaning against the tree, his head on your lap as you play with his hair, occasionally eating fruits you packed together.

And for a split second there, the world is okay.

[wolfish-trickster]

Liar

Part 3

Loki x female!reader

Word count: 1,7K

Warnings: angst, typos, everything sad besides doggo

Tag list:@gaitwae @lucywrites02 @hard-to-be-the-bard @birdgirl90 @laramoonworld @belovedadam @mascaracoffee @serebrum @myworldgoesboomz

Loki felt miserable. If only he knew what would he start with that lie. Why couldn't he tell her Y/N is his cousin or something? She and her golden-fish-like IQ would've believed him. Damn him! Damn him and Tony for making him do this! Why couldn't Stark do it himself! It was his idea afterall!

Loki was lying on a rug in his bedroom. He didn't feel like he deserved the luxury of a warm soft bed. He was looking through photos and selfies of Y/N in his phone. Her happy smile, her arms wrapped around him in a hug in his favourite selfie of you (his wallpaper), her two fingers giving him horns from behind his back and him doing it back to her. He counted, he had only 7 pictures of her in total. 'I should've taken pictures of her more often,' he thought to himself and wiped his eyes to get clearer view. He should've took a picture of her doing the most mundane things. Reading a book, drawing on a windowsill, chatting with someone. She always had this spark in her eyes whenever she talked about some of her interests. He wanted to see that spark again.

Loki caught himself dreaming of you again. 'Let her go,' he told himself. 'It will be better for her and you.'

But he didn't want to get better. Not without her. But he fucked up big time. He apologized. He showed her a proof of his innocense. She chose to put space between you two. And that was okay, right? He's already used to it, right?

His eyes were staring outside the window the whole night, but he wasn't watching anything. He needed them open, for whenever he closed them he saw you. Either crying and screaming like you did few day ago, or sad smile you gave him few hours ago, or your happy grin you have worn what seemed like ages ago.

Sky changed its shades of blue from dark to light. The morning sun made him realize that no, he isn't used to it.

*

The need to walk to your room was big. But he couldn't. He promised to leave you alone if you wanted. And you did.

So instead he hid in one of the old rooms everyone forgot about and never really used. He needed to be alone.

No one came looking for him yet. The only sign of someone remembering his existence was one message from Tony. Something about the info Loki got from that woman being useless and agents are taking the lead from the Avengers. Good to know he unknowingly destroyed his whole relationship with Y/N for nothing.

When he read those words the first time he wanted to smash the phone on nearest wall, but that meant losing all the pictures with you and he simply couldn't do that.

Loki wandered where where you. If you were safe. Maybe you took your dog out. Or made someone do it, so you didn't have to risk meeting him in the halls. Thought of you still avoiding him sickened him.

His lower back started to ache from sitting in pragraph position for too long. He decided to stretch and walk a little, clear his head. The plan was to go to kitchen, steal something small to eat (not because he was hungry, he needed a distraction) and go back to his secret room. Or the roof. What will came first.

With a glass of water and pockets filled with chocolate he started walking towards the exit.

Suddenly he heard small clawed paws hitting the floor making soft clicking noises. He followed the distand sound to find your little pup, Rex, walking around as if he owned the place. If he was here then you'll be nearby. Loki looked around the room, but besides the small dog and him it was empty.

When the little guy got his sent into his nose, he turned and sprinted towards Loki. He expected the pup to bite him, just like you promise you will train him, and mentally prepared himself for attack of small dull needles on his ankles.

To his surprise Rex started jumping on his leg, trying to reach his hand. When Loki lowered it to his level he started to lick it, his tail wagging wildly. Good to know at least he doesn't hate him.

"Did you escape her and went on an adventure, little guy?" he asked scratching behind his ears. Rex rolled on his belly and silently asked for scratches. Loki was more than happy to provide.

"Well, we can't leave it like that now, can we? She'll be worried sick if she doesn't find you in her room. Like this one time when she couldn't find her favourite plushie from childhood. We turned her whole room upside down just to find it. Later that day she realized she accidentally left it in my bedroom," he smiled sadly at the fond memory. "We laughed a lot afterwards. I fear she'll never laugh in my presence again," he stopped scratching.

Rex sat up and tilted his head at him.

"I know, I know, it's basically my fault. And I understand why she feels like that. Who wouldn't after their best... ex best friend said those things about them. I just wish I could turn back time and change everything."

"And why would you do that?" loki turned around to be met with face of none other than Tony Stark.

"You would never understand," he looked away.

"I'm capable of undertanding a lot of things, don't underestimate me."

Rex found new sent in the room and ran up to Tony. "Aaaw, is he yours? I never thought you'll be a dog person," Tony picked him up and got a good look on him, while Rex was trying to reach his face with his tongue.

"No, he's Y/N's. He must've escaped from her bedroom. Please, take him to her," he started walking away.

"No way, your friend, your problem. I'm already a very busy man even without pets," he put Rex on the floor and gently nudged him towards Loki.

"Here's the thing, I can't. I can't face her. And I am more than sure she doesn't want to face me."

"What happened? Don't tell me it's some petty reason like 'you picked the wrong movie' or 'those flowers don't go with ma vase'."

Loki rolled his eyes and took Rex to his hands. "No. She heard me telling lies to that woman we needed for those informations and now she doesn't trust me. I doubt she ever will."

"Just tell her how it was. How hard can that be?"

"Don't you think I already thought of that? I showed her the video from security cameras yesterday and she still doesn't want to go back to being my friend. And I understand why," he stared deeply into Rex's puppy eyes. As if the little dog felt his sadnes he tried to cuddle up to his chest.

"Then pray tell, cuz I could never understand women's logic."

Loki played with Rex's soft fur. "She knows I'm a great liar. She might think if that was a lie and she couldn't tell, then might be wondering how much of other things I told her were lies," Rex started chewing on Loki's thumb. "The truth is I never told her a single lie. Only that one time when she asked me if I'm smiling because I saw Thor fall down the stairs," he chuckled.

"Then tell her you never lied to her," Tony suggested.

"I can't. She won't believe me. Didn't you hear what I just said?"

"I did. But listen, life is complicated enough already, why making it more miserable by not talking each other's issues out? Just go to her, return her dog and ask to talk to her."

"What if she slams the door in my face just like the last time? Then what genious?"

Tony shrugged. "I don't know. Write her a letter and slide it down her door?"

Loki rolled eyes and started walking in the direction of your bedroom. "Your advices suck," he called behind his back.

Here he was. Standing in front of your door, which was slightly ajar. Explaining how Rex got out. Behind those doors he laughed with you, played games with you, watched movies while cuddling with you. So many pleasant memories. Scarred by the freshest one.

He remembered the fear and panic he felt when you started shouting at him. He remembered every last word you told him. Those kinds of words only left your mouth in his worst nightmares. He never thought he'll hear them in real life.

Tiny bites along his wrist brought him back to present. He didn't know what to do. Should he stand there and wait until you come out? Or should he knock? Call out for you?

His questions got answered sooner than he thought. "What are you doing here?" he heard her voice coming from the opposite end of the hallway.

He quickly looked down at Rex in his arms, the opened doorand realized how it must look to you. "I'm not stealing him, I swear. I found him wandering around the Tower," he held him out to you.

You took him, your fingers brushed his for a moment. You coughed. "Ehm, thank you. For bringing him back, I mean."

"No problem," he stood there awkwardly, hamd behind his back.

He figured you didn't want to say anything more and he took a step to walk around you.

"Hey," you called out.

"Yes?" he asked hopefully, waiting for your next words.

"I...... uhm," you bit your lip nervously.

He saw her wilingness to talk as his chance. "Can I speak with you? About all of what happened? Please?"

You looked up at him, a small relief in your eyes. "Actually, that's what I wanted to ask you."

"Oh, okay," he felt like an awkward teen rather than over century old man.

Both of you stood in the hallway. Until you broke the silence. "Well, do you want to come in?" you pointed at your door.

"Yeah, okay. Why not? Your bedroom is nice for talking," Loki mentally slaped himself across the face for saying such stupidity.

"Yes. I suppose it is," you gave him a small smile and closed the door behind the two of you.