#felt cute might delete later type selfie

[gxdcomplex]

if I wanna hear your feedback, feedback

I'll let you know

[gravity-of-me]

[kuoukyeee]

Kengan characters on social media

This is what I think the kengan characters would do, some of them aren't very accurate cus I haven't read the manga in soooo longgg.

Let me know if you guys want a part 2!

Feedback is appreciated!

Sfw

Adam Dudley

Mostly public accounts with a pretty large following maybe 2-3k. I can see him having insta and tik tok, I can't see him on twitter or tumblr just because he doesn't seem like the type to enjoy reading in his free time.

He doesn't post much (he does thirst traps and they sometimes go viral) and he doesn't add many things to his story.

His following consist of mostly dudes and a few girls who he's talked to or found him cute. His feed and fyp are filled with 'alpha' motivation and humor and pretty girls. You best believe he's includes himself in petty drama in every comment section.

Akiyama Kaede

Has instagram, twitter and tumblr. They are all private and only close family and friends follow her. Her profiles are very organised and pleasing to look at. She posts rarely, when she goes out somewhere nice.

In the mini comics it's cannon that she is into shipping fictional characters, so she probably interacts with the fandoms shes in. Her feed is her friends posts, a few outfit ideas here and there and maybe news. (Idk). She's not afraid to smash the 'block' and 'not interested' button when she sees something she doesn't like, she doesn't take no bs.

Elena Robinson

VERY organised and aesthetic profiles. Has to put her accounts on private because Mokichi forced her to, so she would be 'safe from weirdos online'. She mostly posts selfies of when she goes out with her friends (karla) and on her stories she puts cute animals and nice scenery. DEFINETLY has pinterest.

You KNOW all her friends are up in her dms and comments hyping her up. (Her friends are probably just as sweet as her🥺)

Hatsumi Sen

He's not very active, he only has a few decent pictures of himself posted. Messages every woman he finds and hearts all their stories, uses sucky pick up lines like the ones he uses on Shion. (They all block him). Like Adam, he listens to alpha male podcasts.

Though most of the time he's too busy relaxing, which leaves his accounts collecting dust. He makes excuses about leaving people on delivered but we all know he's just lazy.

Himuro Ryo

Just like Hatsumi he uses pick up lines when messaging women, however he succeeds as his ones aren't cringe. Posts pictures and selfies of him doing whatever frequently and all his simps eat it up. (Also posts 'felt cute might delete later' pictures).

He's pretty popular at 6-7 ish k. He's one of those people who have a shit ton of notifications.

He threatens posting unflattering pictures of Lihito and Okubo daily.

Imai Cosmo

Follows meme pages and sends memes to Seki and Waka. Has a private spam account and a public main where he posts pictures with his family on holidays.

His feed and fyp is mostly memes with some cute animal videos sprinkled throughout. Sometimes when he sees a particularly cute video, he leaves a positive comment like 'aww your puppy is so cute🥺' .

I can see him as the type to always have airpods in his ears blasting music so loud that everyone can hear. Seki and Waka have had to remove his earphones quite a few times to get his attention.

[sarastegan]

~🔗🧡~

[stutterfly]

Swipe Right 04 | Patch Notes | JJK (M)

Rating: M (Explicit 18+)

Pairings: Jungkook x Reader, brot7 x friendship

Genre: E2L, fluff, angst, humor, [eventual] smut, PersonalTrainer!Jungkook, fuckboy!Jungkook, Nerd!Jungkook, Nerd/IT!Reader

Word Count: 15.1K

Last time on SR03: You joined a gym to increase your confidence and things progressed the way you want with your tinder match. You ended up in an unlikely competition with your friends when you went new bar together, leading to some unexpected conversations and shenanigans.

CW & Other Tags: Drinking, anxiety/panic attack mentions, muscle tearing injury mention, fuckboy Jungkook, pining, flirting, pick-up lines, sexual tension, Joonie is still Y/N’s best boi, soft Jungkook

Series: Activate your SIMCard

Fic: Swipe Right (4/?- Ongoing)

Do not repost.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

When’s the last time you felt as good as you do right now? Jungkook has pretty much stopped bothering you since that night at Seesaw, your date with Jason went well, and you’ve been sticking to your early morning workouts. You definitely don’t push yourself as much as trainer Hwasa, and you know you should really take advantage of the free trial, but it was overwhelming to take in so much at once and the session made you sore all over for days.

At least your stamina seems to be improving and you’ve discovered post-workout endorphins are real. Tonight is your second date with Jason, a date you’ve uncharacteristically elected to host at your apartment. You can place some blame on those endorphins for your boldness, with pining and disappointment composing the rest of it.

While your first date ended without a kiss, there was enough flirting to keep you hopeful. Neither of you were brave enough to do anything about it then, but you’ve mentally coached yourself into pretending like you have an unbreakable spine with nerves of steel. Meeting him only solidified your attraction, and you’ve resolved to take the lead, even though you feel like you have no idea what you’re doing.

It’s not like you often make the first move, but your confidence in him to do so has waned. You’ve been talking and playing games together online for months without any physical touch. Despite how he’s said he likes you and wants to see you again, you’d still be waiting if you didn’t suggest today.

You’re determined to show him what he’s missing by being a recluse. That’s why you’ve picked out the sluttiest clothes and the strappiest heels you own, decorated your face with expensive makeup, and even styled your hair instead of just letting it do whatever it wants for the day. You check yourself out in the full-length mirror on your bedroom door for the millionth time and pull down on the hem of your dress like it will somehow magically grow longer.

You don’t need the heels; no part of the night calls for them. You’re going to be sitting on the couch with him. If you’re lucky you’ll even move it to the bedroom you spent so much time cleaning. But they’re cute and they make you feel sexy, so you’re going to keep them on until he’s peeling you out of your dress.

Nerves bubble in your stomach, but you have to pretend like they’re not there or you’ll fixate on how hard you’re trying to be confident and cool. You’ll fall apart when it’s obvious to Jason how hard you’re pretending to be everything you aren’t. Checking your phone doesn’t help; it’s almost time.

Taking a deep breath, you pace through the confines of your apartment as you wait, and answer group texts from Jennie and Namjoon. You offer up a selfie, hoping any compliments will build your confidence enough to stave off the anxiety in your gut. A few devil emojis later, some keysmashing, and more than a couple hamfisted compliments from Namjoon, your ego is adequately inflated but you can always use more hyping. Maybe you should send it to Jimin to fish for more compliments? He’d indulge you for sure.

Instead you flop on the couch and open Tinder. According to Jennie, Jason is stringing you along; it’s been months, but you hate to admit that she has a point. So you don’t. She’s been telling you for a while now that she thinks you should pursue other suitors. While you object to her assumptions, she has more experience with this kind of stuff. It’s not exactly something you want to believe, not when you’ve put in so much effort for literal months.

You want to believe in Jason being awkward and dorky and that’s why it’s taken so long for the two of you to hook up. He’s shy and super introverted, but so are you. So why are you the only one trying to make things happen? You want to believe, but at this point you’re uncertain enough to heed Jennie’s advice and keep swiping any time you find yourself in a situation where you’re waiting on him. Like now.

You have your reservations about swiping while you wait for your date to begin, but you can practically hear Jennie cheering you on. He’s late anyway, and it will keep you busy until he arrives. You open the discovery tab and swipe left on a couple incomplete profiles. Most of the guys on here don’t put in any effort. How are you supposed to want to give any of them a chance when you don’t even get a tiny snapshot of who they are?

When you pass on yet another fish pic profile, a blue frame appears around the next guy in line. It takes a moment for your brain to register the name along with the duck-faced photo as someone familiar.

[Jungkook said: Your legs remind me of oreos 🥴 wanna know why?]

How fucking dare he? You match with the intent to ream him out and leave.

You: I told you not to fucking find me on here

It takes only a few seconds before you see the dots move on his end, like he was waiting for the moment you would answer, and it keeps you tethered to the conversation.

Jungkook: Princess!! I couldn’t help myself how are you

Jungkook: Surprised you didn’t block me

You: Don’t worry I’m gonna

Jungkook: it’s bc you wanna know huh

You: ???

Jungkook: Your legs

Jungkook: Like oreos

Jungkook: I wanna split them n lick the cream from the center 😜

Electricity rumbles in your gut, carrying heat and a surge of excitement to your cunt that threatens to flood your panties. You swallow hard and squeeze your thighs together as you stare at the screen. Embarrassed by the response his antics elicit, you scramble to formulate a coherent thought.

You: I wish I could unread 🤢

Jungkook: Aw but that’s one of my favorites

Jungkook: Just like you 😘

You: 🙄

You: I hate you so much

Jungkook: So much that you matched with me?

You stare at the message like a clever response will come to you and when it doesn’t you bite your lip. He’s got a point. Haven’t you learned your lesson not to encourage him? Your eyes scan the top of your phone for any notifications from Jason. Nothing. At least this is keeping you distracted. That’s what you tell yourself.

Jungkook: You’re still here which means 👀

You: It means I’m tired

Jungkook: Of?

You pause for a moment. Namjoon and Jennie can’t know how anxious you are about Jason. It’s the guy’s last strike with them and he hasn’t even met them yet. Jungkook, an impartial third party, might be able to lend an ear. As much as you don’t care what he thinks, you need an outlet for the anxiety in your chest. You start to draft a word-vomit. Jason has been so hesitant to see you in person again and now he’s late. Maybe if you just put it out there to someone you’ll feel better.

Jungkook: If you need to sleep how about a massage?

Jungkook: I’m good with my fingers 🥴

Stupid. In what universe could you confide in Jungkook? Deleting your word-vomit before you can send it, you start to type something else, but your thumb accidentally taps enter at the exact wrong moment.

You: You know what? I want you

FUCK. Goddamn you, sausage fingers.

You scramble to rewrite the sentence but Jungkook is quicker. He has to know it was an accident, but you’re still fucking mortified.

Jungkook: 😈

Jungkook: My place

Jungkook: Ten minutes

You: *to stay off my profile

Jungkook: 👉👌?

You: YOU KNOW I DIDN’T MEAN THAT

You: 🤢🤢🤢

Jungkook: 😩

Jungkook: Now you’re just playing games with me princess

Jungkook: Can’t say I mind just fuck me up 🥴

You: Don’t you have a princess to fuck in another castle? Maybe she can stroke your tiny ego

Jungkook: Ouch felt that from here

He goes quiet and you close the conversation out. Setting the phone down on the cushion beside you lasts all of two seconds. When your phone buzzes twice, you know better than to answer, yet you feel compelled to look.

Jungkook: Hey quick question

Jungkook: Is this the most you’ve used the app to talk with someone you like? 👻

Just like that you unmatch with him and take a moment to seethe. Distraction or no, he’s not worth the mental energy. He always seems to draw you in like a pretty little thirst trap and drain you of your sanity. Not engaging is the safest option so why do you always end up doing so? Maybe it’s that shitty little part of you that gets excited any time he shows you attention.

There’s a gullible girl within you; she sets your pulse on fire when he feigns even the slightest interest, fills your head with wind when he brushes against you, and floods your eyes with tears when he walks away. Still, she wants him to look at you, even if it means he’s really looking through you. You hate her. Why can’t she learn that you deserve better?

You check the time again and wince. Jason is really late now. Not even a text. Or a phone call. Maybe it’s traffic?

Try to relax. Nothing bad is going to happen. You’re going to have fun tonight.

You start up a game to take your mind off the options available to explain his absence. When you’re invested in a game you often lose track of time, but tonight you’re hyper-aware of every minute that passes. You bite at your freshly painted nails during loading screens, chipping the red from their edges. Sounding casual is difficult when you’re worried, but you attempt it anyway via text. It’s ten more agonizing minutes of waiting before your phone buzzes with an answer.

The controller drops to your lap and immediately tears begin to sprinkle your thighs with the manifestation of your heartache.

He forgot.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

An earthy scent fills Namjoon’s apartment as he carefully transfers the last of his plants to a bigger pot, filling in the edges of its roots with fresh soil and patting the edges down with care. His plants have needed this, maybe even more than he needs the mini hangout that will soon follow. The kitchen table is covered in dirt, but at least he’s almost done.

It’s not his fault Jungkook showed up earlier than expected. At least he’s quiet now. It’s been a while, but he’s finally stopped asking about how much longer it will take, so he must either be invested in the show he put on or asleep on the couch.

“Almost done,” Namjoon loudly announces. “Can you text Tae?”

“Kay.” Jungkook yawns as he stands and heads towards the bathroom. “Jin was already cooking when I left so it should be ready soon.”

“Good. I’m hungry,” Namjoon says, carefully transporting the plant to the desk in his bedroom.

As he’s on his way to clean up the mess on the table there’s a soft rapid knock at the front door. The moment he opens it and finds you standing before him, he knows something is wrong. Even the ratty hoodie covering your shoulders can’t hide the effort you’ve obviously put into your appearance tonight. While your makeup seems to have fared rather well, your eyes are red and your cheeks are puffy. His mind automatically assumes the worst about your second date and his jaw tightens.

“What happened? Did he hurt you?”

“He never showed.” You throw your arms around him and openly sob.

“Oh, Y/N…” His arms are around you in an instant, hugging you close while keeping his dirty fingers at bay.

You press your cheek against his chest, letting the tears fall freely. “I’m sorry. I know you probably have plans tonight, but I wanted to stop here—” You choke out a loud sob and wipe your nose with your sleeve as you look down at the floor. “I didn’t want to drive upset but you weren’t answering and I just—”

“Shit. Exam today. I left it on silent.” He pats his pocket to make sure it’s still there, wiping as much dirt as he can on his jeans before placing his hands on your shoulders. “Hey, it’s okay. Deep breaths.”

Jungkook emerges from the bathroom quietly with a furrowed brow and pursed lips. Did he hear your voice or is it his imagination? Unsure if you’re some wishful remnant of earlier texts, he peeks around the corner.

Heels: black, strappy heels with a velvety smooth red undersole. Has he ever seen you in heels? If he has, it’s never been something as flashy as these. His gaze travels up the smooth, exposed skin of your legs until it hits the hem of a skirt. The dark fabric seems a little short; it clings to your thighs, riding up as you embrace his friend. It’s hard not to notice how well it accents the curve of your hips and more importantly: your ass. He’s definitely never seen you in something so revealing, not even on nights where you’ve joined them for dancing.

He pauses for a fraction of a second, eyes trained on the swell of your ass before moving up to find the disappointing sight of your favorite hoodie barring much else from view. Namjoon’s arms outline your shape, but the places his hands rest are far too respectable to glean much else other than simple blueprints.

With his dick leading his steps, Jungkook opens his mouth to announce his presence with a joke. He means to selfishly steal a glimpse of your entire ensemble with some snarky comment but you choke out a sob and his stomach lurches to form a whirlpool of apprehension. His mouth remains open, but his words are swallowed back into the dark swirling pit that now wrenches his gut in circles.

Namjoon looks up just in time to read the confusion and shock on his features. He shakes his head and cups yours against his chest, wordlessly signaling Jungkook to keep quiet.

“Is there anything I can do? Do you wanna talk about it?” Namjoon asks, hoping you don’t see the man behind you slowly backing away like he’s just approached a rabid animal.

You’re sobbing. Why are you sobbing? What happened? Was it what he said before you unmatched? Jungkook tiptoes back into the kitchen without a word. He leans against the counter and shoves his hands in his coat pockets, trying to piece everything together. Did he cause this?

You screw your eyes shut to try to keep the tears inside. It’s no use. They always seem to find a way out. “He didn’t show up and when I texted him, he… he said he forgot."

“What?"

“I thought it would be good after the arcade date, you know? Like, good chemistry. He’s weird. I like him! He seemed interested and we made these plans and he just—” you choke out another loud sob. “God. Am I really so fucking forgettable?”

You wanted your friends to be wrong so badly that you ignored the fact that it’s been like pulling teeth trying to get Jason to meet up again. For him to forget completely is like a kick to the face that leaves all the teeth intact, maybe a little bloody, but stubbornly intact.

“Y/N, no. It’s not your fault. You deserve better than this fucking guy.”

Jungkook swallows hard. This definitely doesn’t feel like a conversation he should be hearing, but it’s loud enough to carry through the entire apartment. Kitchen, bedroom, or bathroom: his options are limited, but he knows there’s nowhere to go to pretend like he can’t hear it. It’s not like he can just walk out the front door now.

“Do I? It’s seems like a fucking pattern, Joon. I fall for people so easily and they always make me feel like an idiot for trying. Donghyun. Seojun. Jason. Jungkook… It doesn’t matter. No one fucking wants me.”

Jungkook tenses. He may not know all the names on your list, but his is among them all the same. Has he really hurt you so much?

“Hey… Don’t think like that,” Namjoon says, his voice soft as he rubs your back. “You know your worth, and it’s not measured by how well someone else can see it.”

Every time you think you’re done crying, fresh tears begin to roll down your cheeks. “I’m tired, Joonie.”

“I know. I’m sorry. We'll get you home."

As you step back to look at him your ankle rolls, and you begin to fall. Hearing the scuffle, Jungkook winces and peeks around the corner. Namjoon has a good enough grip to stop you from fully tumbling to the floor, but you’re definitely not stable by any means.

Although you now face Jungkook, you’re too distracted by your ankle to notice the extra pair of eyes on you. He allows himself to stupidly linger within your line of sight, raking his gaze across your form to take in the details of your attire, right down to your choice of earrings. Even with a red nose and puffy, smudged eyes, the time you’ve spent on your appearance remains evident.

You did all that for some guy who didn’t even show? If that’s how you dress for your dates then his innocent perception of you is completely wrong. What kind of moron would pass up the opportunity to peel you out of that dress and dive into your cunt? You look incredible. What the fuck.

"God. Shit. Fuck! Fucking stupid heels!” You huff out your exasperation and let a small pitiful laugh pass your lips as you right your stance with Namjoon’s help. “You know, I spent hours getting ready and now I just look stupid. I feel stupid.”

“You don’t. You’re not,” Namjoon insists, his palm squeezing your shoulder.

“Namjoon, I shaved my entire body. Do you know how long that took?”

Jungkook forces himself to withdraw into the kitchen. If you see him now you might murder him. He purses his lips into a thin line and tightens his grip around his arms. In an instant he imagines hiking your dress above your hips and parting your legs so he might brush his cheek against the smooth expanse of your thigh all the way to your core. Are your panties as slutty as your dress? Are they cute? Lacy? Plain?

“Geeksquad…” Namjoon sighs loudly. “I really don’t need to know— Hold up. Wasn’t this the second date?”

“Are you slutshaming me?” The tired laugh that follows sounds more like you, but it still hurts his heart. “I’m stepping up my game.”

“Nah. You do you,” he says, a soft smile on his lips that’s obviously full of pity. “You want to stay and get some food? I think I have some sweats you can change into.”

Tires screech in Jungkook’s mind. Is he going to be trapped here for the night? Without dinner? What kind of karmic torture is the universe putting him through?

“No, I’m sorry,” you sniffle, wiping your face with the sleeves of your sweater. “Jennie wants me to come over but I—I didn’t think I could make it with having a full meltdown. You were on the way.”

“No need to apologize.” He pulls you into another tight hug. “Do you want me to walk you back to your car?”

“No, no it’s fine. I’m right in front. Thanks, Joonie.” Your phone begins to buzz in your hoodie pocket. You pull back and wave it at him, already on your way to the door. “It’s like she knew. I’ll talk to her on the way. Thank you for listening to me cry for the millionth time.”

“Always. Text me when you get there, okay?”

“Will do, mom,” you tease with a soft laugh.

“Zip up your hoodie.”

You grimace at him with narrowed eyes but heed his advice on your way out. You also pull your skirt down as far down your thighs as it will reach. Men are gross and you trust virtually none of them.

Jungkook waits until he hears the click of the lock on the door to breathe a loud sigh of relief. Namjoon rubs the back of his neck and stares at the door. He worries about you.

“Yikes. That Jason guy is a dick huh?”

Namjoon swivels on his heels and rounds on his friend. “Like you were so much better to her?”

Jungkook casts his gaze to the floor. “I didn’t stand her up.”

Even he knows that argument is flimsy.

“Guk.”

“It was always just a joke.”

“It’s not though. She really liked you, man. I asked you not to mess with her.”

Memories have warped Jungkook into a jaded man: untrusting although not uncaring. Guilt is the only thing churning in his stomach as he thinks of you. He never expected to genuinely hurt you. Somehow things twisted into a gnarled mess that never really felt like more than a playful game of tug-of-war. But these kinds of games only work when the people involved know that they’re playing. It’s shitty when one pulls another into the mud when they’ve never agreed to participate.

Faced with the reality of how you consider him now, it dawns on him that he’s dragged you into the mud face-first without even the slightest resistance. You’ve stood up and you’ve even yanked the rope in retaliation, but you never should’ve been in the mud in the first place. Regardless of his own emotional ineptitude, he knows you never deserved that humiliation. No one does. The weight of his actions sits heavy in his gut.

Still he tries to justify himself. “All I do now is make pass after pass and she’s the one who turns me down.”

“You said it earlier yourself,” Namjoon sneers, irritated by his friend’s immaturity. “It’s always a joke. You’re never serious and she knows it. Look, you don’t have to like her back. She’s my friend and so are you. Just don’t lead her on and stop with the mind games. Be honest with her. The least you can do is apologize for being a dick.”

“That’s— I feel like… I don’t know how.”

Jungkook can’t bring himself to tell him of your conversation earlier tonight. It just adds to the guilt piling on his conscience. Namjoon used his own words against him and the worst part is it makes sense. It’s so much easier when it’s a stranger at a bar or a random encounter at a club, but you’re neither of those things. He lumped you into that category all the same.

Namjoon clicks his tongue and puts an arm around Jungkook’s back. “Starting with ‘I’m sorry’ can go a long way. She’s a good person and I know you guys can get along. Things were going well until you made that bet, right?”

Jungkook opens his mouth to speak and then closes it. “Mmm.”

“Not every girl is a Jiseo, Jungkook.”

“Yeah.”

“I think…” Namjoon sighs and shakes his head. “I don’t know. Can you try to just... tone it down? Maybe try to patch things up?”

“Okay.” Jungkook’s brow furrows and he chews his lip as he mulls over Namjoon’s words. He reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out his keys. “You ready?”

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

Your head dips forward as your fingers glide across the keys. It's hard to concentrate on your task when you're this distracted by your own thoughts. You stare at the monitor with furrowed brows. Namjoon grabs the back of your chair and leans forward to tower over you.

"Went that well, huh? Did he blow the second chance he didn’t deserve?"

The motion jerks you backwards and you grip the armrests of the chair to steady yourself. Despite your best attempt to curb the irritation in your expression, your frustration remains apparent. You sit back and tilt your head up to look at him, trying to think of something to say, some excuse to not reinforce the "told you so" waiting in your future, not after you showed up at his apartment sounding like a dying whale a few days before. When no ideas come to your immediate aid, you click your tongue and let out a heavy sigh as you turn your attention back to the screen.

"Geeksquad," he presses. "Talk to me."

You exhale through your nose and briefly purse your lips before obliging his plea. The words are quick and quiet so you don't run the risk of bawling your eyes out again. "He canceled.”

Namjoon steps back and the pressure on your seat is gone. He places a large palm on your shoulder. "I'm sorry. Do you want to talk about it?"

Despite wanting to give the opposite answer, you shake your head. You don't trust yourself to speak, but you'd like to tell him. He's clever and you know he'll likely find a way to get it out of you with minimal effort anyway. Still, you don’t think you can manage the words without crying like a baby and you don’t want to do that when the morning has only just begun. Silence falls between the two of you as he gives you time to decide if you want to open up.

After a moment of tapping away you finally give in. You know you’ll feel better after you cry.

"He said he had to stay behind and help do clean-up for the party he was at. And that’s nice and all, but we had plans. I feel crazy. I should be glad that he’s so kind, right? Like that shows he’s a good person, right?” Your voice has cracked but it hasn’t quite broken.

He sighs and flops in the chair on the other side of his desk. “Y/N… I think you’re asking me for answers you already know.”

“But tell me anyway,” you press, tears welling in your eyes. “Our first date went so well. So why-y-” Your voice breaks.

“Hey.” He reaches across the desk and brushes his fingers against your arm. “I know you want me to help you make excuses for him... But you deserve someone who values your time. Clearly he’s just looking to waste it.”

“But—”

“Y/N, you don’t need someone like that. If this is what he’s like before you’re even together, then what kind of effort is he really going to put into a potential relationship? Not enough. There are so many people out there, people that would trip over themselves just to have the chance to be with you. I know you don’t want to hear it, but I think it’s a mistake that you even gave him another shot. He blew it. Twice. Delete his number. Forget him.”

“I know,” you croak. Tears fall from your eyes and you quickly swipe them away, focusing on the task at hand.

Namjoon is right and you know it, but you’re kind of irritated about it. You know it’s not really him you’re mad at, but Namjoon is a good enough placeholder while you try to sort through your hurt feelings.

You muster your most monotone voice as you stand. “I updated your drivers and deleted any cached files that might have been causing issues. Is that all?”

“Don’t be mad at me,” he pleads, rising to block your path as you step towards the door. “You have a big heart and I hate seeing it stepped on.”

In a matter of seconds you melt into his embrace and bury your face into his shirt. “I hate how fast I like people.”

“I know.” He pets the back of your head softly and squishes you against his chest. “It’s gonna be okay. How about udon later? My treat?”

“With beef?” you ask with a sniffle.

“With beef,” he agrees.

“Gyoza?”

“Mhm.”

“And takoyaki?”

“...You’re pushing it.”

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

You slide the appetizer tray across the table towards Namjoon. “Here.”

He shovels a dumping into his mouth right before he speaks. “I could eat this every day for the rest of my life.”

“Could you afford it though?” you tease, taking a sip from the bottle of saké and crinkling your nose at it before passing it to him.

“Not if you’re joining me,” he snorts. “You’re supposed to pour it.”

“No, thanks.” You push the tiny glass full of liquid back towards him.

"Wow. Are you guys on a date?"

You know the source of the voice before you even crane your neck to see Jungkook.

"Pfft." Namjoon waves the question off with a deep laugh.

Despite finding the scenario of ever dating Namjoon absolutely absurd, you can’t help but feel a little insulted by the volume of his laughter. Namjoon’s hangout night was supposed to take your mind off of how unwanted Jason made you feel. Instead, the pit of insecurity within your stomach grows into a thick, tangled brush of hostility. Is being seen with you really so laughable?

“Why would we be?” you snap, turning your attention back to your bowl.

Heat settles in your face and you purse your lips, not daring to look at either of them. You try to wrangle some noodles to shovel in your mouth before you can say something stupid. Their eyes are on you. Jungkook is definitely confused but not alarmed by your hostility. It’s something he’s grown accustomed to. But Namjoon knows when he hurts your feelings, every time, and it’s easy enough to disarm your irritability.

“She’s way too good for a mess like me,” Namjoon says with a light laugh.

“Why are you here?” you ask, tone already softer than before.

"Post-work snackie," he answers, all too cheery for your sour mood. “Came for the noods. Mind if I join?”

He looks to the rosy-cheeked Namjoon for his answer, as you set your hoodie and purse down in the space beside you to give him yours. Namjoon betrays you by scooting over to make room on his side of the booth. You’d mentioned to him before that you’d eventually like to fix things with Jungkook, to somehow make steps for peace. But you only have so much mental energy left to give today.

“Not tonight, Jungkook,” you plead with a sigh.

The frustration in that puff of breath is enough to make Jungkook hesitate. He blinks a few times, wide-eyed. “What?”

“I just… can’t handle your bullshit tonight.”

Jungkook tries to break the uncomfortable tension with a grin. “No bullshit tonight. Promise.”

“No.” Your answer is firm and somehow so fragile that it makes both men worry their brows in the same fashion. “Please, just go away.”

He shoves his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket and takes a few steps back. He doesn’t know what to make of your demeanor, but he can put enough together to know the basics. You’re upset, maybe not at him for once. However unlikely, that’d be a blessing. Maybe you’re still upset about that guy that stood you up a few days ago. If that’s the case, he probably shouldn’t stick around and risk letting on how much he knows about that.

He tongues the side of his cheek and nods, forcing a smile to his face. “Alright. I’ll just order it to go. Planned on that anyway. Catch you later.”

Guilt wracks your nerves as he walks away. The moment you look back at Namjoon, you’re faced with a wall of disappointment that threatens to topple the scale of decision-making in Jungkook’s favor.

“You’re judging me for that,” you mumble. The noodles between your chopsticks slip back into the broth.

“Little bit,” Namjoon admits, watching his friend sulk over to the entrance waitstaff. “You know he told me he’s trying to be nicer to you.”

“What? When?”

“The other day. We hung out.”

He keeps his answers short and ambiguous, hoping your curiosity has been piqued. Maybe this is the golden opportunity he’s been hoping for to patch your friendship.

“Was this before or after he harassed me on Tinder?”

Namjoon’s heart sinks into his butt. Of course Jungkook would make reconciliation harder than it needs to be. “When did he do that?”

“That night I showed up at your apartment like a big crybaby.”

“I went over his place for dinner after you left. Jin wanted to try a new recipe out on us.” That seems to at least make you pause.

“You guys talked about me?”

“Yup.” He goes back to chewing his food, knowing he’s got you hooked.

Your incredulous stare does nothing to pull information past his lips. “Joonie. What did you say about me? What did he say?”

“Mmm?” He slurps up a long noodle. “A lot of things. But they’re not really my words to tell.”

“No one likes clickbait, Joon.”

“Look, all I’m saying is that he told me that he wants to fix things. If you want specifics, maybe we can invite him to come eat with us. It might be easier for the both of you to talk about it over good food.”

You sigh, seriously considering his words even as you shake your head. “Joon, I’m already emotionally compromised. I really don’t want to cry in front of Jungkook tonight.”

“Why would you cry? This is a night for good things only. Namjoon-approved and protected. You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to... I just thought it might be nice to make some good memories with good friends.”

You roll your eyes but hold your pinky out for him. “Fine. But this is Joonie-Y/N time. You’re cutting into that allotted time slot, you know that right?”

Namjoon rests his elbow on the table, preparing to pinky swear to whatever you’re about to suggest. “Conditions?”

“He sits next to you, he doesn’t make fun of me if I cry, and…. he doesn’t get to talk.”

“Y/N.”

“Fiiiiine. He can talk. But he better be as nice as you say he’s trying to be.”

“We allowed to talk about Jason?”

“If it comes up…” you sigh. “You know, if he’s mean to me and I cry then you have to deal with it.”

He clasps his long pinky around yours. “Deal. But with how all that just went down, you gotta go tell him to come back. He won’t believe me if I do it.”

“Don’t let him be mean to me,” you plead, tightening your grip on his pinky and locking eyes with him. “Good vibes only.”

“He won’t be mean. Good vibes only.” Namjoon nods with a soft smile. “He really is a good person where it counts, Y/N.”

You push your things aside and force yourself to find Jungkook. He’s leaning against a wall near the entrance, scrolling through his phone while he waits for his order. You quietly request to your waitress that you’d like his food brought to your table. She’s nice enough about it, but your stomach churns regardless. It’s the anxiety.

You gingerly poke a finger against his shoulder as you approach. “Um. Hey.”

He seems startled at first, but smiles when he realizes it’s you. “Hmm?”

You take a deep quiet inhale, trying your best not to get lost in the butterflies his charming smile conjures in your gut. You try to tell yourself it’s anxiety and nothing more. Apologies are hard and scary. That’s all.

“I’m… sorry for being rude. I’ve had a rough week but I shouldn’t take it out on you. Come eat with us, please. Namjoon’s buying anyway.”

His eyes seem to light up with surprise and a warm smile deepens the creases around his eyes and mouth. The hope that these feelings of attraction would evaporate with time is a flame swiftly snuffed out and replaced with a burning heartache that deems denial useless. Even now, pangs of infatuation lurk below your feelings of disdain, breaking the tension of its surface with each beat of your heart.

“It’s okay,” he reassures you. “I shouldn’t have invited myself when I saw you guys. I should really get home and shower anyway.”

He looks so clean that you’d assumed he’d already showered. It’s not like you can smell him from where you stand. Maybe he’s lying, but at least you get the sense it’s coming from a place of politeness.

“Jungkook, I want you to come eat with us. Besides Namjoon wants someone to drink saké with him and I cannot keep doing it.”

“I see.” He offers a small laugh and rubs the back of his neck. “Are you sure? You seemed pretty against it before. What changed?”

“Namjoon told me you’re trying to be less of an asshole to me.”

“Did he?” he licks his lips and tries to hide his pleased smile. “I’m surprised you believe him.”

“He also promised me I could punch you in the dick if you make me cry,” you lie, completely stone-faced.

If he knows that’s a falsified statement, he doesn’t say anything. He looks past your shoulder to quirk a brow at Namjoon, who appears to be furiously texting at the table. Jungkook’s phone buzzes a few times against his palm and he’s fairly sure he already knows who it is.

“Come on. I already asked them to bring your food to the table.”

He reads Namjoon’s messages as he trails behind you.

NAMJOON: If you seriously want to apologize stick around, make her laugh, just listen when you need to

JUNGKOOK: Don’t worry

JUNGKOOK: I got u

Before Namjoon can send a text saying that Jungkook's response has the opposite effect, you’re peeking across the table, trying to get a glance at the screen.

“Who’s that?” you wonder. Namjoon’s not usually one to be so secretive with his texts.

“Hmm?” he raises his eyebrows at you and pours you a shot. “Stupid. Don’t worry about it.”

“Ha. Haha. Ha.” You gesture at your face. “You say to the girl with anxiety.”

Crinkling your nose at the glass he offers, you slide it across to Jungkook as he settles in next to Namjoon. “Here. I’m done drinking that stuff tonight.”

He regards it with a quirked brow. Something about your demeanor really has changed, but looking between you and Namjoon does nothing to answer the question of what that may be.

“Okay, so on reddit this guy was reaching. He’s going on about the symbolism in the red scarf—”

Your eyes gloss over the moment he mentions reddit. Is there anything you care less about than Joon’s favorite modern literary discussion threads?

“Got it. Not worrying about it,” you interrupt, bringing your bowl to your lips to slurp some of the broth.

Jungkook hides his smirk by throwing his head back to drink his shot. Namjoon is a genius. It might be scary if he ever decided to use his intellect for nefarious purposes. Lucky for the universe he uses it to protect others, like a real superhero would.

As the three of you dine together, you’re surprised to find that Jungkook isn’t being as annoying as he usually is. In fact, it seems the more he drinks outside of any competitive setting, the more affable he becomes. Maybe there’s something to Namjoon’s clickbaity words. He’s almost the person you remember meeting before the Halloween Party, maybe even more pleasant.

You’re grateful when the two of them start telling embarrassing stories so you can listen and laugh at the way they slur their words and interrupt each other. Laughter makes your heart feel light and full, and brave enough to take the last step to prove to yourself you’re done chasing Jason. As the two men fight over the last piece of gyoza and distract themselves over dessert, you quietly decide to clear your text messages from Jason. Your finger hovers over the delete icon for a second before purging his contact information from your device entirely.

It’s freeing to not have to worry about what you should send him. It’s frustrating to have tried so hard for so long and have nothing to show for it, but at least there will be no conversation history to pick apart anymore. It should feel perfect. That will definitely show him, right? You don’t have to reflect for more than a couple seconds to reinforce the memory of how little he actually reached out on his own.

He still has your number. The only time he ever called was on your first date. He never texted you unless you spoke first. He probably won’t even notice you’re gone. He’s probably relieved he won’t have to answer you anymore. He probably thinks you’re desperate for trying for so long. You don’t realize how well you wear your anxiety.

When you look up Jungkook is watching you while he chews with his mouth wide open. “Hey, why do-” He hiccups and swallows. “Why do you look so sad? You should have some ice cream.”

He scans the table for something to offer you, but he can’t seem to find what he’s looking for in his drunken stupor. After a few seconds his eyes finally land on his own plate where the other half of his red-bean cake sits.

“Do you want my taiyaki?” He holds the tail end of the fish-shaped cake out to you. “It’s really good!”

You can’t help but laugh at the unexpected sweet absurdity of the night. “Jungkook, I don’t want your half-eaten cake.”

He frowns and looks at the pastry. “Is it because I bit it? I’ll break off that part for you if you don’t want your mouth to touch that.”

Although Jungkook definitely is more drunk than Namjoon right now, the older man can’t help but be amazed by how well this is going. He loads up on green tea ice cream and digs his spoon in it. He shouldn’t have been so worried. Jungkook can put away the act when he wants to, especially once alcohol is involved and there’s nothing to prove. You guys are actually getting along. What a relief.

“No, really it’s okay.” You laugh.

Jungkook is already breaking the pastry apart in his hand, watching as it crumbles to pieces on his plate. He blinks a couple times and closes his mouth in a frown.

“I thought that would work.” He sounds utterly defeated.

The waitress walks over just in time to watch Namjoon stick a heaping spoonful of wasabi in his mouth. You're too busy laughing at Jungkook's forlorn expression to notice the way Namjoon's eyes water. His eyes drop to the ice cream he thought he shoveled into his mouth. Right next to the pristine, untouched scoop of green tea ice cream, he finds his spoon resting in the hunk of wasabi adjacent to it. He should really pay attention more. He pushes against Jungkook's side and motions that he needs to get up. The younger man spares a glance his way but Namjoon waves him off while mumbling something about the bathroom.

The waitress tries to keep her composure and looks between the pair of you. "How is everything?"

"Great! Could you please bring us some water?" you ask in your sweetest voice, realizing the two men with you should at least try to start sobering up.

You expected to have Namjoon crashing on your couch on a Friday night, or at least be dropping him off down the hall at Hobi’s place. Jungkook was not part of the plan, but you can’t exactly let him drive home inebriated. You know he’s not your responsibility but you’d feel guilty making him call for a ride home when you’re perfectly capable.

Although you hate to admit it, you’ve had fun tonight. If you’re being honest with yourself you’d like to see what he’s like without Namjoon nearby to police his moves. He’s been nice enough, but you want to know for sure this isn’t an act. You want to ask him if he’s made another bet, or playing some game since he hasn’t hit on you all night. Before you can get your line of questions in order, Jungkook turns to the server with large, pleading eyes.

"Oh! Can you bring some more dessert, please?"

He may be a grown ass man capable of charming the pants off of women everywhere, but right now he is little more than a child begging for seconds. Regardless of everything he's done, your heart softens, endeared and embarrassed by his drunken request to your server.

The waitress nods. "Sure, what would you like?"

His eyes fall to you for an answer. "What do you like?"

You blink at him. "Me? I thought this was for you."

He nods. "Mm. We can split it."

"Um, how about... tempura?"

"Banana?"

Jungkook’s voice is full of anticipation and his upturned eyebrows seem to bargain for agreement. It’s so hard to believe this is the same man who has been so cold to you for so long when he seems so open and warm now. You remind yourself it’s probably the alcohol. It’s probably some secret promise to Namjoon. Some bet with Hobi. Some game he’s playing. It’s probably anything other than what your dumb crush-stupefied heart wants it to be.

The waitress looks to you for approval and you give a nod. "Sure. Banana tempura."

The waitress awkwardly smiles as she gathers the empty platters and gives you a chance to break away from his endearingly drunken face. He smiles across the table at you and wrings his hands while you pick up your phone to check on those nonexistent messages. Maybe if you distract yourself enough you can ignore the feelings that are catching up to you tonight.

“Thank you for inviting me back over,” he says, reaching to the nearly empty bottle of saké to pour himself another shot. “I’ve... been wanting to talk to you."

"I’m surprised you didn’t blow up my phone.” It’s supposed to be a joke, but there’s a harshness in your tone that exposes a venomous bite beneath it.

He downs the shot and plants his elbows on the table, leaning forward on them. "I wanted to say it to your face."

“Oh, really?”

You don’t allow yourself to entertain the idea that he’s about to say anything groundbreaking, but you look away from your phone to meet those dark, twinkling eyes. Suddenly there’s hope in your gut. You’re desperate to put some distance between the feelings jumping to the surface.

“I’ve been a dick.”

“No shit.”

Though the fog of alcohol consumes his apology, his eyes focus on you with clarity. “I’m sorry.”

How long have you waited to hear those words? You never really thought about what you might say in response. His apology sits in the air between you for a moment before he speaks again.

“I’m really sorry. Namjoon is right. I am trying to be less of an asshole to you. We don’t…” he catches himself, “I don’t have a lot of close friends who are women.”

“You don’t say.”

That seems to cut through the fog. He hangs his head and focuses his gaze on the table.

“I never wanted to hurt your feelings.”

“Well, you did,” you mumble.

“I know... I’m sorry.” It’s like now that he’s said it once, he can’t stop saying it. He’s not sure how to make you understand. Maybe you do understand and you just won’t forgive him. Can he really blame you for that?

“Why?” you question; it’s the last barrier protecting your heart, the only thing keeping you from caving. “Why do you care now?”

Jungkook’s head lolls to one side as he sits back against his seat and stares at the nearly empty bottle of saké. “I don’t know. I guess I was thinking… I wish I had a save to reload. Before I messed up.”

It seems that’s the best you’re going to get out of him right now. The waitress sets down a beautiful platter of banana tempura meticulously arranged around a simple mound of ice cream, topped with a single cherry and drizzled with decorative chocolate. She places three waters on the table and you both take a moment to politely force smiles and pause your conversation.

He licks his lips and stares down at the plate and then back up at you. “Can we start over?”

“Depends. Are you gonna go back to being a dick when you’re not drunk anymore?”

“No, no. I mean it. I wanna try to be friends.”

“For real?” You swipe the cherry, pop it in your mouth and tilt your head to regard him. You can’t let yourself fully believe him. You want to. The earnestness in his drunken features charms you, but you hold onto a shred of disbelief as a crutch. You’ll wait for the moment he reverts. Hopefully this time you’ll be prepared for the whiplash that comes along with it.

“For real.”

You reflect on his apology as the pair of you dig into the dessert. “Maybe. Prove it.”

He perks up. He’ll take a maybe. Maybe means the damage he’s done might not be irreparable. The guilt weighing on his conscience feels lighter. It’s a start.

“I will. I’ll find some way to make it up to you.”

You roll your eyes, unwilling to put stock in his words. “Is this another bet with Hobi? About how quickly you can make me forgive you?”

Jungkook shakes his head furiously, wisps of wild black hair whipping his cheeks. “No, I mean it. I promise.”

You drag your lip through your teeth as you teeter on the line of acceptance. “What is a promise from a liar worth?”

He drops the flat of his palm to the table and he pouts. “Hey. I mean it…. Hm. If I break my promise…” His eyes scan the table for anything he can use to change your mind. He looks at his arm pressed against the table and then back at you. “You can choose my next tattoo.”

Your eyebrows rise into your hairline. “Really.”

He eagerly nods. “I’ll get whatever you want wherever you want. Just. Not my face.”

“I want that in writing,” you snort.

Jungkook glances around the table and pulls a napkin from under the plate of tempura. “Do you have a pen?”

“Jungkook, you don’t have to—”

“I’m serious.” He’s not taking no for an answer.

You shake your head and rummage through your purse to supply him with a pen. He smooths out the napkin he’s chosen to use as a conduit for his promise. When he’s finished writing he slides it towards you.

Princess

I’m sorry. I can make it right.

I promise. Please give me another chance.

If I blow it you can choose what & where my next tattoo goes.

As long as it’s not my face. Let’s be friends? #promise.com ♡ Jungkook

Of course he signed it with a heart. Despite his inebriation, his handwriting is still neat. Well, that’s one hell of a promise.

“Okay.” You fold the note and drop it into your purse. “We can try.”

His face lights up as he stuffs a piece of tempura into his mouth, happily chomping with his mouth wide open. He reaches for the saké but you slide a water in front of him instead.

“Friends don’t let friends get totally shitfaced at Hajime.”

He frowns at you but seems to accept your answer with a pout.

“Speaking of which… Where is Namjoon?” You crane your neck to look around the restaurant.

“Friday noodle nights common for you guys?” Jungkook asks, digging into the dessert between massive gulps of water.

“No, not really. We’re usually watching movies at my place or hanging with Hobi. But Namjoon wanted to take me out because I was sad,” you say, finally catching sight of your friend on the other side of the bar.

Jungkook’s chewing slows and he regards you with furrowed brows. “Sad?”

Before you can decide how you want to answer, Namjoon is scooting into the booth next to Jungkook and reaching for a piece of tempura. “Mmmm. What did I miss?”

“Y/N was telling me why she’s sad.”

Namjoon nods like he understands exactly what you’ve been talking about. “He’s a dick, right? Like how do you even stand someone up, not once, but twice? Makes no sense.”

“Joonie—”

“And I know what you’re gonna say, but I disagree. It has nothing to do with you or how you look, Y/N. You don’t need to workout like a maniac to try to change anything. Especially not for someone like Jason. I can’t even imagine—”

“Joon.” You click your tongue and slide a glass of water in front of him. “Please, shut the fuck up.”

As you glare at him, he looks at you with raised brows and wide eyes. Unsure what to do now that he’s obviously fubared the conversation, he casts his guilty gaze to his cup and brings it to his lips.

Jungkook stares at you with furrowed brows, trying to wait to let you fill in the blanks even though he’s itching to ask about everything. He picks another piece of tempura and stuffs it into his mouth, but when you remain silent the impulse to pry takes over. “Jason?”

“He stood me up…” you start, but you close your mouth when you realize you’re going to try to defend him. Your throat feels full, like you can’t get enough air through with a giant knot in it like this. You have to whisper so your voice doesn’t crack. “Twice.”

The couple drinking at the table nearby becomes a much more interesting place to rest your eyes than the two men across from you. Tightening your jaw doesn’t prevent the gloss from coating your eyes. Thinking about it makes you feel so stupid and desperate. Bending over backwards a thousand different ways to accommodate him couldn’t convince him to put in even a minimal amount of effort one time.

Jungkook’s eyebrows shoot up in genuine surprise. “Twice?”

The hurt you feel in your chest scorches your cheeks until anger is filling your head like a teakettle ready to release an unhealthy amount of steam right in Jungkook’s face.

“That’s what I get for giving people second chances,” you snap as you focus back on him.

Joon says your name like it’s a warning but you don’t need it. You feel guilty enough for projecting your anger onto Jungkook with a petty one-liner.

“Sorry. It’s not your fault. I just…” Your throat closes around the rest of the words.

Before an uncomfortable silence can settle over the table, Namjoon inches the bottle of saké with his fingertips until it’s in front of him. “Dating is tricky. Jason sucks. It sucks that he hurt you. But you don’t have to twist yourself into whatever you think he wants anymore. And that…” He pours the pitiful remainder of alcohol into a shot glass and slides it towards you.“...is worth celebrating.”

Jungkook silently nods his head in agreement. It’s obvious you’re on the verge of tears and he doesn’t want to be the thing that pushes you over the edge.

A soft smile curls the corners of your mouth. “That’s true, but…” you slide the glass back towards him and steal the last of the banana tempura. “I can celebrate back at my apartment. Finish your water so you’ll be awake enough to join me. Both of you.”

Jungkook perks up and happily reaches for his water while Namjoon gives you a proud, yet confused look. It seems like a new start to something. What that is remains to be seen.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

Jungkook watches intently as the colors of the city shine through the windows. He runs his fingers over the soft blanket you keep in the backseat, mouthing the words to the song softly playing from your dashboard. Namjoon has been talking nonstop from the passenger seat, which is fine with Jungkook since he’s feeling a little tired. The last session of the day was a bit more intense than intended, but the client left happy and covered in sweat. A success. But Jungkook is sore and exhausted. Physically and socially.

A sense of relief floods him at the memory of his conversation with you. Things may actually be okay from here. Who would have thought crashing your noodle night with Namjoon could have yielded such results?

His head bobs to the music as his eyes wander across the scenery outside until he grows bored and they drift to the interior of your car. A graduation tassel swings from your rearview mirror as you turn. He follows the movement of the tassel when it swings towards you and his eyes land on your face, or at least what he can see of it from this angle.

You look focused and calm while conversing with Namjoon but your posture is a bit rigid and your hands remain planted on the steering wheel in complete control. There’s something about this candid snapshot of your persona that puts him at ease. Your voice is a soft contrast to Namjoon’s, but equally enthusiastic.

He tilts his head as he leans back in his seat, pulling the blanket over his lap and twisting the fabric around his palm. Your eyes flicker in the rearview mirror, catching his. He gives a tiny wave and rests his head against the cushion, fighting the temptation to close his eyelids for longer than a second. The more he listens to you laugh, the more he finds himself smiling. It’s goofy.

It’s also kind of cute.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

Jungkook is surprised when Yoongi answers your knock; he thought he would be asleep. He’s even more surprised when you make yourself at home on his couch and guilt him with a puppy dog pout to make you a drink, and he complies. When Jungkook asks the same, Yoongi tells him there’s beer in the fridge while measuring out the ingredients for your cocktail. The suspicious sour ache of jealousy stabs his gut as he moseys to the fridge but he quickly shakes it off, settling on the floor in front of the tv with a beer in hand.

After a couple hours of drinking, laughing, and playing Jackbox games with the three men, you’re feeling much better about everything. Life is good. Friends are good. Alcohol is very good.

It doesn’t take much to get you drunk. You’re about as much of a lightweight as Hobi and for better or worse everyone has come to know that fact. What’s nice about drinking in Yoongi’s apartment is that you don’t have to walk very far to get home. Things don’t get awkward with the three of them together; it’s actually kind of nice, like a mini Saturday night pregame.

Soon Namjoon and Yoongi are snoring on the couch with a movie playing in the background while you stand in the kitchen with Jungkook. He pours another drink for himself, though he knows it will mostly likely remain unfinished. Tomorrow may bring a massive hangover, but tonight has been surprisingly pleasant. He feels like he’s finally on okay footing with you, maybe even on the road to serious repair. Amazing how well you get along when inhibitions are replaced by inebriation. If that’s what it takes, he’s determined to keep it up.

As he turns his back to place the liquor bottle in the cabinet by the fridge, you swipe a sip of the drink he’s concocted. He spins around in time to see you wrinkle your nose and stick your tongue out.

“Hey, that’s mine!” he pouts.

“Blegh. You can have it. Yuck!” Your face screws up again at the aftertaste.

He drunkenly giggles as he slides the drink closer to him. “What, don’t like sour?”

“Too sour!” You reach for the water bottle Yoongi gave you hours ago and attempt to rinse the puckering sensation from your mouth.

Amused, he tilts his head and watches you take gulp after gulp. He purses his lips and holds back the comment itching to escape, deciding to enjoy a sip of his drink instead. You shimmy out of your hoodie and tie it around your waist and his eyes lazily follow the motion of your arms, noting a slight difference in their musculature. Some errant thought about their shape leads him back to an earlier unaddressed comment that he’s finally comfortable enough to prod you about.

“What kind of workouts are you doing?” he blurts.

Suddenly you feel very exposed. You straighten in your seat and suck in your gut, hyper aware of every imperfection of your body on display to someone so in shape. You immediately begin to fidget with the sleeves of the hoodie you just tied around your waist.

“You don’t have to tell me. I just—” he pauses, exhaling a small breath and looking down at his drink as though he’s wary of continuing the thought.

“No, no it’s fine,” you assure him, too curious to say otherwise. “What is it?”

“When Namjoon said…” he sighs and takes a sip, smacking his lips and licking them before looking back to you. “I thought maybe I can prove myself to you by helping you come up with a plan.”

“You don’t have to do that.” You plant an elbow on the counter and lean on it.

“I want to,” he insists, reaching out for your arm.

His hand is like fire engulfing your skin and your eyelids flutter at the sensation. Instinctively you place a hand over his and rub your thumb anxiously over it. He looks down to where your thumb grazes his knuckles and then back up to your face with a surprised smile.

“Um… Everything,” you say, trying to sound as vague and nonchalant as possible so he doesn’t judge you for your lack of knowledge.

“Like, full body?”

“Uh...” You’ve managed to make a habit of going to his gym a few days a week while successfully avoiding him, but it seems that time is coming to an end. “I… machine.”

“Oh. Like at a gym? Did you join one?” He seems genuinely curious.

“Um, yeah.” Suddenly you pull your hand back when you realize the speed at which your thumb is moving.

“Which one?”

The more you say, the more suspicious you seem, but is saying less any better? Jungkook rests his elbow on the counter and simply looks at you but you don’t look back. A slow smile spreads his lips as the possibility dawns on him.

“Princess… Did you join Iron Kingdom?”

You puff your cheeks and force the air through the tiny opening of your mouth. You don’t offer any sort of confirmation and continue to avoid his gaze.

“And you didn’t tell me?” he playfully prods, drumming his fingers against your forearm.

“I… Yeah,” you admit, your voice small as you stare at the counter. “I didn’t want you to know.

“Why?”

“Because.”

“Because?”

“I don’t want to give you another thing to make fun of me for.”

“I’m not gonna make fun of you.” When you don’t respond he tugs on your arm. The motion is enough to angle you towards him. “Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.”

“What?” you grumble, staring at your lap even as you face him.

He takes your hands in his and drunkenly waves them around. “Heeeeeeeey. Look at me.”

He pouts until you reluctantly drag your eyes to meet his. “What?”

“Everyone starts somewhere,” he says softly. “Even me.”

The shift in his demeanor catches you off guard and you subconsciously lean forward as you relax. “Well I started with Hwasa, but I was too sore to ask for another session with her.”

He nods sympathetically, clapping his hand over yours. “You should try again.”

You shake your head. “I don’t know. I feel like…”

“Like?” he prods when you let the silence trail for a bit too long.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” you sigh. “I feel like I don’t belong there. I look so stupid reading the instructions on the machines. I don’t even think I’m doing it right.”

“What?” He makes a sound between a laugh and a grunt. “There’s nothing wrong with making sure you don’t hurt yourself. Nobody knows how to instantly do things. If they tell you they do, they’re lying.”

“Or they’re Namjoon,” you say with a roll of your eyes, glancing over at your snoring friend.

He smiles and clicks his tongue against his teeth in thought. “I didn’t know what I was doing when I started.”

“Really.”

You’re skeptical. It’s always seemed like he was born in a gym. Or maybe hatched. He’s kind of inhumanly gorgeous. Maybe he sprouted from a flower like a mythical god.

“For real. First time doing squats. I think it was gym class? Yeah, I was like twelve or thirteen. I was… not very athletic. Didn’t play sports or anything. Kind of shy. Didn’t really have a lot of friends either…”

The way he trails off makes your heart hurt. Puberty isn’t nice to most people. It’s hard to imagine a world where someone like Jungkook isn’t instantly popular and naturally fit. While you’re not exactly the same person you were at twelve, a lot of your interests and personality quirks have remained the same. You’re still painfully awkward at times. How did he manage to overcome something like that? Is it not ingrained in him like it is you?

“Just a big dork, you know?” He laughs. “I see this girl I had a crush on, Amber. She’s looking at me. I think I have to impress her. So I’m stacking up weight and I think I’m hot shit and go too fast. Know what happened?”

“Please don’t tell me you dropped it on your foot or something,” you plead, squeezing his palms at the way he’s building up the story. The secondhand embarrassment is too real.

“I hear a pop.”

“No!” you gasp, bringing your hands to your face as if you can stop the past from happening.

“And pain. So much pain. I don’t remember putting the weights down but I remember ending up on my back, staring up at the ceiling.”

“Oh no. Knees?”

“Worse.” He points down to his crotch. “Pulled a muscle in my groin. Had to sit the rest of the day with an ice pack on my junk. Was not fun. My point is: don’t give up. You learn more as you go. Give Hwasa another shot.”

His anecdote gives you pause but you’re desperate to cling to the comfort of your anxiety. “My free trial with her is almost up and I don’t think I’ll be able to afford to keep at it.”

“More excuses,” he teases, taking a sip of his drink. “At this point I should just—” His eyes widen, a lightbulb practically forming above his head as he puts his cup down. “I’ll be your personal trainer!”

“Uhh…”

“No, no. It’s perfect. We’re friends now.” He smiles, proud of himself for finding a way to prove himself to you. “I can teach you everything you need to know about working out. I can set up a plan for you and figure out the best way to help you achieve your goals. Oh, man we’re gonna have to figure out your goals. What do you—”

“Hold on. Hold on,” you interrupt with a nervous laugh. “You’re missing the part where I still can’t afford it.”

He rolls his eyes and grabs your glass, holding it under the sink to refill it. “Don’t worry about that. I’ll cover it.”

You’re stunned into silence as you observe the expanse of his back, searching the black fabric of his t-shirt for the definition of his muscles. He sets the cup in front of you, waiting for your agreement. When it doesn’t come, he second guesses himself. Did he overstep?

“I mean if you’re okay with that. Would-would you want to do that?”

The innocent drunken sparkle in his eyes makes your stomach do a flip. When you woke up this morning you hardly thought the day would include getting sloshed with Jungkook and having him offer to take you on as a fitness trainee. It’s like he’s opened himself up just enough for you to see the soft mess beneath. You like it. You like it a lot and you kind of hate yourself for it. While you don’t know if you can trust him past the evening, you find yourself hoping you can.

“You won’t make fun of me?” you ask timidly before bringing the cup of water to your lips.

“It’s my job not to make fun of you. We start where you’re at and go from there. And like I said, I’ll cover the fees for as long as you want. No pressure.” He smiles at you. “What do you think?”

“...Okay,” you murmur with a nod of your head. “If you’re serious, then I’m… I’m in!”

His lips part to expose his teeth as his grin spreads. “Yes!”

As he brings his hand up in a sign of victory, his knuckles knock against his glass. You reach for the cup with impaired reflexes, hands fumbling over the slippery surface in conjunction with his. The sour contents spill across the counter as the pair of you struggle to right the glass. While he’s quicker at getting the glass upright, your brain is faster at processing what to do next and you already have a paper towel in hand, wiping up the liquid as fast as possible.

Your eyes follow the spill to the edge of the counter where it’s flooded over the side. Acting on instinct rather than rational thought, you quickly press down where the liquid has begun to pool in his lap. As you fold the paper towel over, you rub frantically as if the action will keep the stain from setting into the fabric. He shifts in his seat and squeaks out a sound so small that you can’t actually tell whether it came from him or the chair.

It only dawns on you how inappropriate your actions are when you glance towards his face and find his wide eyes gazing back at you. His cheeks, already flushed from inebriation, seem twice as vivid and his mouth is parted slightly as though he means to speak, but he doesn’t. Maybe he doesn’t want to embarrass you, but it’s too late for that.

Your palm stills against his crotch as the shape beneath becomes clear in your mind. For a second you’re frozen, but your lips work quickly to mumble an apology. It feels like an eternity before you will your drunken fingers to release the paper towel. The clearing of Jungkook’s throat is followed by a tiny giggle, then a full on snort. A grin spreads across your lips and you soon follow him into a fit of laughter. You thank the universe for the small mercy of being drunk enough to push your embarrassment to the side for the time being.

“I wasn’t thinking!” you wheeze, tears in your eyes from laughing so hard. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. It’ll dry.” He laughs, dabbing his pants and shirt in the absence of your hand. As he stands he pulls the hem of his shirt away from his torso and looks down at it. “Really. It’s my fault I’m so…”

“Sticky?” You quirk an eyebrow at him, a blatant flirtatious action thinly disguised as a joke as you eye the blot of liquor staining the lower half of his shirt.

Both of his eyebrows raise and a mischievous smile curls the corner of his lips. “...Wet.”

You consider his answer with a pleased hum and turn back to the counter to polish off the last of your water. You’re friends now, right? It can’t be that easy. But it kind of is. So what’s wrong with a little harmless flirting between friends?

Drunk brain, who happens to be a notorious hoe, assures you it’s great. Rational brain might disagree, but she’s taking a well-deserved nap. You’ve at least had a good night. You’re not sure it matters at this point who is giving you the attention you crave. It feels good. So good, in fact, you’re sure you can indulge drunk brain a little more.

You’re drawn to the inky shapes swirling around Jungkook’s bicep as he wipes the counter down. Every time your eyes begin to focus on an object marking his skin with some kind of meaning, he moves and you lose it. It’s brush strokes, isn’t it? You’ve definitely seen a paintbrush and mountains and a knife surrounded by roses. A swathe of grey and purple connects to each one you’ve seen, but you know there are more.

Before you can blurt that you’re dying to know how many he has and how bad it hurt to get them, he turns toward the sink and begins to work his t-shirt up his torso. You watch in awe as the toned muscles of his back are exposed. The image of the bright phoenix does little to hide their definition.

Trying to will yourself to look away is of no use; he’s hot and you’re drunk enough to acknowledge that fact. Of course he peeks at you just as the shirt slips over his head to find you open-mouthed and dazed, ogling him as though there isn’t any shame in the world that could pull your gaze from him. He turns to the fridge to give you a moment to compose yourself, nabbing a water bottle from the shelf in the process. You’re clearly not ready for the way he quickly spins on the balls of his feet to face you.

Y/N.exe has stopped working.

Your fingers hang in the air suspiciously until you lazily drop them. But Jungkook dons a toothy grin and has the audacity to look shy. He mockingly shields his chest from you with the shirt clutched in his hands.

“Princess! Are you… checking me out?”

Somehow you don’t let the fire in your face turn your brain to ash.“Pfft, no.”

“What’re you doing, then?” he teases with a laugh as he sits, scooting his chair closer to yours.

“Counting,” you reply simply, brow furrowed in concentration. To drive the point home, you poke at his flesh everywhere you can make out an object drawn into its surface.

“How many?” he wonders, watching with cloudy, amused eyes.

“Mmm…” You trail your finger down his arm and back up, following the curve of the brushstroke around his shoulder. “Can’t tell if this counts as one.”

He shrugs and rests his head on his palm as he leans against the counter. “What do you think?”

You hesitate when he quickly quirks a brow.

“I think… A lot.”

“Definitely accurate,” he says with a grin.

Awkward laughter steers the pair of you towards your waters. The TV in the background provides enough noise to steal your focus; you’re grateful for the distraction from the attractive man beside you. Drunk brain is telling you to touch him again, to grab his hand, to feel the touch of someone just for the night, to ruin every good thing this night has started to rebuild between you. Anything to stave off the emptiness of your bed, the 2AM thoughts of failure, and the drunken desperation to find someone, anyone, who will fall in love with whatever image you happen to project on your dating profile.

Heart pounding wildly in your chest and blood rushing through your ears, your fingertips tap against the countertop as they inch closer to where his arm rests. Luckily your futile attempts at nonchalance go unnoticed. Jungkook anxiously turns his water bottle over in his hands, trying to gather words in his brain before freeing them from his mouth.

“So…” he begins.

You jump at the sudden sound and retract your hand while he’s not paying you any mind.

“I was thinking. About that guy…”

You wish you could at least pretend you don’t know who he’s talking about. You’ve vented plenty tonight, but still your heart sinks. Deleting Jason’s digital footprint from your life was simple and quick, but the feelings of rejection and disappointment that swirl in the back of your mind spill forward the longer his pause continues.

“I know this probably means nothing coming from me. But I just— I know you liked him, but you can do better.“

Your posture stiffens at his reassurance and you find yourself grateful he’s not looking at you. Do you deserve better?

“You deserve better,” he affirms, as if somehow aware of your internal struggle.

“Thanks,” you murmur with a distinct lack of enthusiasm as you stare down your glass.

It's cry hours, isn’t it?

Realizing you don’t believe him, he takes a deep breath and nudges you with his elbow. “Hey.”

“What.” You refuse to look up because you know you’re on the verge of an irrational stream of tears over some guy you hardly knew. It’s stupid and you know it. But the wet warmth coating your eyes tells you it’s coming regardless.

“I’m... sorry that you don’t feel like you do. Some people can’t get over the weight of their own shit. But that doesn’t mean it’s on you to pick it up for them. If they can’t even bother to carry themselves to meet you halfway, then they’re not worth the effort.”

It’s a perfect time for your heart to seize up and it takes the opportunity to do so. The advice he offers doesn’t stave off the tears, but it resonates deep within you. Namjoon said something similar. It makes you ache to hear it again from someone else. It just leads you back to the same questions you keep asking yourself. What’s so wrong with you that people don’t even want to try? Is it your personality? Physicality? Is it a lack of confidence? What is it?

‘I can’t even get a shitty guy to like me. Maybe I’m the one not worth the effort.’ You don’t dare say those words out loud. Pity isn’t something you’re looking for. A warm body to fill your bed maybe, but not pity.

“Sounds easy when you say it like that,” you murmur, trying in vain to will the tears not to fall. You’re quick to swipe at them and force a smile. “I guess I have trouble giving up on people. It’s not that I’m naive. I try to be realistic. But no matter how many times I get fucked over I just... hope for the best in people. I can’t help it.”

He pats your arm reassuringly. “That’s why you deserve better.”

If only it was as simple as hearing those words and magically being able to believe it. A big chunk of your confidence has crumbled away and there’s no clear path to restoration. As the warmth of his palm comes to rest against your arm, you place your hand over his and squeeze.

“I don’t know if I believe it,” you pause and thoughtfully add, “but thanks for saying it.”

His eyebrows raise in surprise and he offers a tiny, “You’re welcome.”

A shaky chuckle passes your lips. All of his features seem to soften the more you look at them. Maybe it’s the drunken gloss coating his big brown eyes or the way his lips slightly part as he looks back at you. The tightly coiled nerves in your belly urge you to unravel.

Although it's a subtle gesture, he licks his lips as he smiles and it practically seals your fate. If you don't leave now you're bound to do something you'll regret.

"It's late. I should sleep."

Or masturbate.

The speed at which you launch yourself from the seat is unpleasant. You're not sure what's worse: the dizzying vertigo or waves nausea sloshing in your gut. Jungkook's reflexes may be delayed but he's a steady mass of muscle the moment you reach out to steady yourself.

"Whoa. You okay?"

"Maybe," you mumble, finding yourself drawn to the heat radiating from his skin. Instead of walking away, slump down to rest your cheek against his shoulder and sling an arm around him. You might be drunker than you thought. "I don't know."

"Hmm. What do you need, princess?"

"Just wanna stop spinning."

His stance shifts to better accommodate the additional weight you press against him.

"How about you take over Yoongi's bed tonight," he suggests softly. "He's passed out anyway."

"No, I should go home." You peel your cheek from the warmth of his skin.

“You gonna make it there?”

“Yes,” you say indignantly. The world may be a bit wobbly right now, but you’re certain you can handle the short stroll down the hall.

"Okay.” He smiles, loosening his hold. As you step back your foot catches on the leg of the chair and it drags loudly against the floor.

Despite Jungkook’s attempt to keep you standing by grabbing at your arms, he loses his balance and he drops to his knees. The chair clatters to the floor before your ass does. Luckily his grip keeps your back and head far from impact, but you’re too cramped to be comfortable.

“Are you okay?” he asks. Those big, dark doe eyes of his are frozen in fear and a frown adorns his face. He looks so serious it’s ridiculous.

You can’t help but laugh, wiggling backwards to make space between his body and the heat steadily building between your legs. “I’m fine. Stop making that face.”

“Huh? What do you mean?” He sits back on his feet and tilts his head to the side in confusion.

He breaks into a fit of giggles when you dramatically mimic his expression. You roll back onto your elbows, making another ridiculous face to further mock him.

“No, no. It’s more like…” Jungkook takes the opportunity to lean over you, reaching with one hand to squeeze your cheeks to pucker your lips. You blow a disjointed raspberry at him before pulling his hand off to the side.

While the clamor of the fallen chair did nothing to rouse the men on the couch, the sound of Jungkook’s hearty laughter is loud enough to disturb the rhythmic snores of Namjoon.

Jungkook sits back on his heels and peeks over the countertop. He seems miles away, even as you sit up and scoot in to bring yourself closer. Laughter fades into a quiet hum as Namjoon’s snoring resumes.

You're lost in the abyss of his gaze as he turns his head to look back at you. All that remains in your brain at this point is a foggy desire to tug on the silky spirals of his ebony hair until he presses himself against you one more time.

Your hand settles for following the curves of his bicep instead, wondering how it might feel to be wrapped within his embrace. Some might say liquor makes you bold and stupid, and they're right. They should say it. But it also makes you feel invincible, like a goddamn glowing Mario star power-up.

"Princess?"

Enraptured, his eyes follow the motion of your hand as it slithers around his arm and squeezes. Unable to ignore the prompt, he answers with a flex against your palm. His ego swells when you shiver and noticeably hold your breath.

You know it's a mistake. You know it goes against all of your sober judgement, but you find yourself doing it anyway. It doesn't matter that you still harbor a grudge that holds your heart hostage. Drunk hoe vibes are taking the wheel. You’re tired, drunk as hell, and just want to feel wanted. And he's here.

Every fiber of your inebriated being is singing in unison: Why the fuck not?

Heartbeat pounding against your eardrums, you attempt to gauge his reaction as you lean towards him. It's hard to tell from beneath half-lidded eyes, but you think he's leaning towards you too. If he isn't you suppose you can always play it off like you're just a mess. It's not far from the truth. Focusing on the tiny freckle below his lip, you allow yourself to finally close your eyes and go for it.

But the universe isn’t here for your dumb boozy bitch mistakes.

The front door swings open with the sound of jingling keys dropping to the floor. It snaps you back to reality and you freeze, realizing there's no defense that will save you. Jungkook is quick to disengage, poking his head above the counter to acknowledge Hoseok’s presence with a wave. But his friend is completely enamored with the company he’s ushering towards his bedroom.

“Yeah, baby? How bad?” Hoseok whispers to the giggling girl wrapped around his arm.

He pins the stranger against the door to drag his tongue across her neck. Their bodies move rhythmically in a slow grind, a precursor for what’s likely to come. Jungkook purses his lips. How long until one of them notices him watching? It’s not until the girl moans Hoseok’s name softly that Jungkook spares a panicked look towards you.

Oh shit.

You gesture for him to get down before he draws their attention. The last thing you want to explain is why you’re on your knees in Hoseok’s kitchen with a very shirtless Jungkook standing close by. He obliges your silent request, squatting down beside you.

“Feel how hard you made me?” Hobi chuckles quietly.

The girl giggles, her voice growing closer. “You gonna fuck me right here or what?”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Naughty girl. What if my roommate wakes up? Looks like he has a friend over too. You really want them to see what a dirty slut you are?”

You can hear her giggle as he directs her where to go, failing to keep his voice down so you hear every filthy thing he says after. Your hands fly to cover your mouth. Is your skin made of lava? You want to blame it on the close proximity to Jungkook, but the only thing you can imagine is Hoseok’s dick and the eager mystery woman about to be impaled by it. Can you scrub your brain of this memory? How are you supposed to look at him after this?

Jungkook watches your face carefully, trying his hardest not to laugh. Your eyes look so big he’s pretty sure they could roll out of your skull any second. Are you really so innocent? The way you cover your mouth says you are, but maybe it’s just the shock. Maybe you’re just trying to not laugh. Or scream. Or breathe? It kind of looks like you might pass out.

Are you gonna make it, princess? he wonders.

Once you hear Hoseok's bedroom door close, you fuss your hands over your hair and scramble to your feet, releasing a big exhale. The hushed words fall from your lips while you scurry away like a timid mouse. "I should go."

Despite being too far to make contact, he reaches out as you round the counter. "Wait—"

As soon as the word leaves his mouth he struggles to come up with the rest of his statement. There’s no reason to keep you here, except to maybe laugh a little about what just happened to smooth over any second-hand embarrassment. So why doesn’t he want you to go?

He swallows down the blank space caught in his throat and searches every last crevice of his brain for something of import to say. Guilt weighs his gut down, though there isn’t a clear cause. He’s probably screwed something up again without realizing it.

“Thanks for giving me another shot,” he says softly.

You breathe a sigh of relief and offer a tiny smile as you half turn, your hand already on the door handle. “Don’t blow it.”

He nods with a smile. “I won’t. Goodnight.”

“‘Night,” you mumble.

As soon as the door is closed you practically sprint down the hall to lock yourself within your apartment. Maybe it will also lock out all the mistakes your brain has made tonight.

The world feels colder now that you’re not pressed against the human-shaped heater that is Jeon Jungkook. Thinking about him makes your heart swell and ache at the same time. Regardless of how badly you wish you'd asked him to bed, you know loneliness is fleeting and guilt would be a far worse feeling to be saddled with.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

Jungkook picks up the fallen chair, finding your soft, worn hoodie draped over it. Rubbing a thumb over the material, he considers running it back to you, but he can't remember which door is yours. It's not like he's been here often enough to know. Instead he slips his arms through the sleeves before flipping the hood over his head.

He settles on the floor in the space he previously claimed for the night, pulling a blanket out from under Yoongi's ass. Yoongi rolls his head up, a scowl on his features though his eyes remain closed. He grumbles but lies down, facing the couch.

Jungkook regards his friend for a moment before deciding to drape the blanket over him instead of claiming it for himself. Jungkook rolls onto his side and fluffs the throw pillow under his head. As he watches the credits roll on the TV, he nuzzles into your sweater.

He closes his eyes, thinking of you. He knows he shouldn't linger on the little occurrences of the night, especially with how foggy his brain is. He can't trust anything about his memory.

Still he thinks of the way your fingers trailed along his arm and curled tightly around his bicep. He lets himself dwell on the tiny sound you made, the involuntary tremble of your body, and the subsequent hitch in your breath.

He smiles and inhales the subtle scent you've left behind. A new spark of adrenaline fans flames that inflate his ego, spreading warmth from his stomach up into his chest. The world may wobble around him right now, but the little magical warmth within his gut helps him comfortably drift off to dreamland like he's the world's most immovable object.

[foenixs]

Skz reaction to accidentally seeing a sext from one of their members s/o

note: this was inspired by one of @lavenderbexlatte 's posts

includes- sub!Stray Kids, dom!f!reader, strap on, pegging, lingerie, pet names

if you like my works please reblog them with a nice comment or tag

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bang Chan

He had only wanted to get back at Felix for the many times he stole his phone when unfortunate timing made a picture of you in a sexy lingerie piece pop up on screen.

Y/N: Don’t forget about me while you’re practicing 😉

He quickly shuts off the phone, handing it back to Felix and apologizing for having taken it. He tries to forget about the photo, watching porn and jerking off in the shower, but your body always comes back on his mind. He cums into his hand, moaning your name, quickly turning the power of the shower hose up to drown out the sounds.

He couldn’t look you in the eye for a month after the incident, worried he would undress you with his eyes.

Felix finally confronts him about his weird behaviour, since he used to be very good friends with you.

“Yeah, she can have that affect on you.”, Felix laughs when Chan admits to what had happened and how the image didn’t want to leave his head, “maybe you should join us sometime so you can see how much more beautiful she is in real life.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Minho

Jisung’s phone kept buzzing while Minho was trying to sleep, he tried to call for Sung to turn off his damn phone but to no effect. Getting up to take matters into his own hands, he picks up the phone to see who was texting him at such an early hour.

Noona: *dick pic*

Noona: How about this one?

Opening the quick answer function, he starts to type “you guys are weird…” when a thought comes to his mind. He deletes what he wrote, shutting the phone off like he was planning to, before taking out his own device. He searches for that secret picture he took last week, pressing send in your chat with a smirk across his face.

Minho: How about this one?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Changbin

Hyunjin was practicing a new choreo and had asked Chang to record him with his phone when a message popped up at the top of the screen. He tried to brush the pop-up window away but accidently opened the message instead.

He was greeted by a video clip of you stroking what looked like a silicone dick, strapped to your body. He was so enthralled by the visual, trying to figure out what you were grabbing onto, that he didn’t notice Hyunjin finishing the dance and walking towards him to take back his phone.

As soon as Hyunjin’s eyes fell upon the screen his face turned beat red, slapping the phone out of his hyung’s hand.

“What is that?”, Changbin’s genuine confusion was too cute, making Hyunjin proud that he seemed to be more mature than his hyung.

“Oh, just my dinner”, he winks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hyunjin

Never in a million years did he expect to see his hyung get fucked.

It was a simple mistake, he had taken the wrong phone home after a concert, but by the time he realised what he had done it was already too late.

He had saved his finger recognition in Minho’s phone before, more as a joke, but now that he had easily opened the phone, looking at the recent messages to see a video of Minho bent over a bed, getting fucked by his girlfriend, the reality hit him like a truck.

There was no way he could explain to Minho what had happened without getting his head chopped off, so he decided to lie.

“I accidentally took your phone instead of mine, but I realised my mistake instantly and came here to give it back to you.”

His arms were shaking as he handed back the phone, making Minho raise an eyebrow but he just quickly ran away, trying to delete the mental image as best as he could. But Minho wasn’t the only one that would remember the ‘Memories of last night’.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jisung

Mommy: How’s my Babyboy doing? If you come home for dinner, I’ll let you eat me for dessert.

The messages flickered on the screen, Jeongin’s phone resting on the table during one of their lives. Jisung quickly takes the phone, putting it in the maknaes Hoodie pocket so the viewers wouldn’t get the shock of their life’s. 

He couldn’t say he was surprised; he had once walked in on Jeongin masturbating in the shower, moaning out your title. If anything, he was a little jealous.

“You need to be more careful where you place your phone”, was all he said he to Jeongin after the live, trying to suppress a laugh as the maknae’s eyes shot wide open when he saw his recent messages.

“You- did you-…”

“Did I see your girlfriend sexting you? Nah, but you might want to hurry home 😉”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Felix

He had asked Chan for sex advice before, not wanting to mess up his first time, so he knew that his hyung wasn’t an innocent angel. But what he was greeted with on Chan’s screen when he stole his phone was different from anything they had ever talked about.

The older boy was tied to the bed, his legs pushed to his chest as his girlfriend was gliding a toy into him.

Felix could feel himself getting hard at the mere sight, one hand coming down to his ass to duplicate the feeling his hyung must’ve felt. He kept pressing play on the short video, needing to see it again and again.

He felt disgusted with himself that he was doing something so naughty and all behind his hyung’s back, but he couldn’t help the growing desire to be put in Chan’s place.

After handing back the phone, he patiently waited in the living room until Chan’s girlfriend came over later that day. Counting down in his head he made his way over to Chan’s room, bursting in in hopes of catching them in the middle of the act.

And so, a long night had begun.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Seungmin

He dropped Changbin’s phone as quickly as he had picked it up, hands shooting up to his face to cover his blushing cheeks.

As Changbin walks back out of the bathroom, drying his hands against his jeans, he notices the curled-up figure that was hiding it’s face in shame.

“Uhm, Is everything okay Seungmin?”

But the younger boy quickly shakes his head, turning so it looked like he was getting swallowed by the couch.

A loud sigh makes Seungmin shiver in fear.

“Did you steal my phone again?”

Changbin had seen the seductive picture you had sent, putting together the puzzle’s pieces on why his usually chipper bandmate suddenly felt shy in front of him.

“At least you learned your lesson…” and with that he turned and left the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jeongin

Jealousy was the only thing that tainted his mind as your messages popped up on Seungmin’s screen. He had stolen the older boy’s phone to set a quirky selfie of himself as the background, when curiosity made him the messenger app.

Just a quick look, was what he had promised himself, but your seductive messages glued his eyes to the screen, unable to finish his original task.

Y/N: Is you tail still in place? You must’ve been blushing so hard during practice, having the tiny toy stretch you out in front of your unsuspecting bandmates.

Staring at Seungmin’s ass for the rest of the day his mouth was watering with drool, why couldn’t he be someone’s good puppy?!

Y/N: Be a good puppy and send me a picture of your pretty tail.

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masterlist

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taglist:  @vanillaknj, @mingiibabieee, @sub-hoshi-enthusiast, @soya-zz, @coeurbreak, @mellowriting, @submissive-bangtan

[bedtimebrain]

EXO D.O.: A Little Jealous Part 2! (Your POV)

This part 2 took me really long to get it out. I had initially written it in both Ksoo and Your ‘pov’ in one post. But it got too long! So i decided to change it to just your POV(the norm). I still haven’t decided if i should finish the one on Ksoo’s POV.

Edit: I continued Ksoo’s for fun without the intention to finish it, but I think it turned out pretty decent! So His POV’s part is also up now!!

Part 1 Part 2 Ksoo POV Characters: DKS x reader (+exo & random chr)

————-

Back at the team dinner

At the center of the circle, the bottle spun to minho.

‘Truth or dare!’

‘Truth’

‘Ok so, the team has been really curious. WHEN DID YOU AND Y/N STARTED DATING?!’ Ji Hye asked like she has been holding this in for 10 years.

The both of you were a little taken aback at the question, looking over at each other with a laugh.

‘We are just friends, what gave you that impression? We never dated and will never date guys’ Minho answered

‘No way! You guys definitely look like a couple!’

‘Comeon say the truth y/n! You guys are always hanging out together, i even saw you carrying y/n’s bag for you today’

‘yes yes! Weren’t you both holding hands that day?’

Everyone chimed in disbelief.

‘Didn’t know we appeared this way to you guys. Anyway I was just holding y/n hand to shake off this guy who has been bothering her. And I was just helping Y/N with her bag because she looked like she might die anytime just now’

While everyone was sighing and expressing their disappointment, minho made the next spin. You rolled your eyes at minho when it pointed to you.

You picked dare, wanting to divert the team’s attention to something else instead.

‘Ok then, pick from the dare box.’ You reached your hand into it and pulled out a purple strip.

‘Take a selfie with the person from the previous turn and upload to instagram with the caption ‘a cute us’

You almost had a heart attack reading that, this just fueled everyone’s enthusiasm even more.

Although you knew that kyungsoo probably won’t see this since he doesn’t have instagram, you can’t help but feel guilty and worried about it. You’re attached! (Though you can’t say it) and doing this just doesn’t seem right..

There’s absolutely no way you could get out of this. Denying doing this just makes things seem more suspicious between the both of you. 

Making it fast ,you did the dare and uploaded the picture. Totally forgetting the fact that other members followed you with their privates. You told yourself in 10minutes you’re getting out of here and deleting that photo.

-----

As usual, minho sent you back. After such a long day you can’t wait to just take a shower and flop down on your bed.

Heading to the shower, you screamed at the sight of a bug.

Running to your phone you sent a SOS to minho,

‘THERE’S A BUG PLEASE COME BACK AND SAVE ME I DONT CARE WHERE YOU ARE’

Just 2 minutes later the bell rang. That was certainly a little fast, you thought to yourself.

Running to the door, you shouted ‘MINHO YA!’ Opening the door, you were surprised to see kyungsoo’s face instead. 

'Oppa, why you here ? Did your photoshoot end early? You didn’t text me back tho...’

‘Uh are you expecting someone? Minho?’

‘Oh right, speaking of which I dont need him now, let me drop him a text. Oppa come in and kill the bug for me please!!’ You dragged him right to your shower and stayed far away while he rid the bug for you.

After the bug extermination, you can’t help but sense something’s not too right with kyungsoo tonight.

Hoping to loosen his seemingly tense frame, you reached out to hug him

‘Thank you, for killing the bug’ at the same time flashing him your sweetest smile.

Sitting down and linking your arms in his on the sofa, you asked,

‘Oppa, do you have something to tell me? You don’t look particularly excited or happy to be here today’

Kyungsoo looked to you, and for a good while, did not say anything. Instead, breaking the body contact, he reached for the glass of water on the coffee table; gulping it down as if it was his courage portion.

‘I saw that picture. The one on instagram.’ 

Your heart stopped, a wave of guilt washed over you as you started to explain yourself

‘Ah that.. sorry oppa, it was a dare I had to do at the team dinner, I tried so hard to avoid it but I couldn’t say I was attached either.. ’

‘But the string of comments sure made it sound like you guys are the most popular ship in your school?’ Kyungsoo replied with distaste lacing his voice

It dawned on you that you had never shown minho’s picture to kyungsoo, perhaps that’s why he was so upset about this. He must have thought the guy in the picture was someone special to you that you never mentioned.

‘Oppa that’s actually Minho in the picture. And you know we are just really close friends.’

At this Kyungsoo looked a little stunned. You could tell he was in the midst of processing his thoughts as a frown started to form on his forehead.

‘I don’t really like you hanging out with minho.’ Kyungsoo blurted out 

Now, you didn’t really understand the situation. What’s with kyungsoo acting like a possessive boyfriend? 

‘You were always okay with minho and i hanging out. Why does us taking a picture change that ?’ You were a little irritated, you stood up and started raising your voice.

Seeing that you absolutely lost your cool, kyungsoo didn’t hold back either

‘y/n do you know how i felt looking at those comments?! I am not okay with the whole school thinking you both are together when you’re supposed to be my girlfriend!’, he got up from the sofa in frustration

‘Ya! Even if i am not friends with minho, I can’t always avoid such situations! Because i can’t tell anyone i’m attached, guys still hit on me and people think they can pair me up with random guys because they think i’m single! 

To me, they can think whatever they want but minho is just a friend. Oppa, shouldn’t you of all people understand this the most?’

‘You’re asking me to understand when minho actually looks your ideal type? And i never knew about it?’

You were caught off guard at this question. Your ideal type? Tall, well built, sporty , fun... Suddenly realising minho does fit the bill for your ideal type.

Though feeling a little bad now, you were not going to give in to this ridiculous argument. Your friendship with minho was on the line. 

‘My ideal type? If we wanted to get together, we would have long ago ok! Why would I get together with you then him?!’

You both stayed silent for a little while, turning your backs on each other at the peak of the argument. 

Calming down, you told yourself this could go on and on tonight, or you could just take a softer approach towards your boyfriend.

Out of love, you put aside your frustration and hugged him instead. Leaning into his chest, you didn’t know exactly what to say either. 

Dropping to his low voice, kyungsoo muttered ‘When I saw that picture, it felt like my nightmare came true. Every night i get worried that you would one day get tired of dating an idol.. Or even dating someone like me..’ 

You never knew kyungsoo felt this way, he was never particularly expressive in the relationship. You knew he liked you and genuinely cared for you, but you never knew he loved you this much. 

‘we don’t spend alot of time together but you always get to be with minho.. so much that people think you’re both attached..’

At this point, you saw through him. You came to understand the picture triggered his insecurities and manifested as jealousy. 

You pulled him back down on the sofa and started 

‘oppa, i cannot promise you people will stop misunderstanding minho and i, but i will be more careful to draw a clearer line in our friendship for you. 

and i never thought of minho as my ideal type or saw him in a way more than friends. i know it might not put you at ease hearing me say this, but can you trust me? 

I have been friends with minho for many years and have met many guys too. But it’s you for me ok?’ you held onto his arm and looked in his eyes saying this, hoping he sees what you feel for him.

Poking him at his little belly, you continued light heartedly

‘though you may not be the most attractive looking man out there...’ causing him to look up at you as you say it.

Giving him a peck on the cheek you continued

‘but you make me feel comfortable and special all at the same time. saranghae oppa, you’re the only one.’

At your words, he pulled you closer and rested his chin on your head, saying

‘ Though i still don’t feel the best about our situation and about minho, but i know we can’t help this.. Just promise to stay with me please’

Raising your pinky finger and turning up to face him,

‘ i promise you oppa!’

Linking your pinkies together, kyungsoo finally smiled back at you today and said

‘na do saranghae’ didn’t really turn out the way i thought it would for a jealousy story, haha. but still hope you enjoyed it!

on a side note, im thinking of doing this scenario for baekhyun too! i think his might be much easier to imagine, hahha. if you’re a baek fan please don’t expect too much tho! it won’t be as long as ksoo’s if i actually do it~

[leavaloo]

Applin To Give and to Kick Ass

Hi guys! As most of you know, I’ve been extremely busy lately and also dealing with some shit on the side, so I wasn’t able to write anything for Valentines Day! I know, such a crime that an imagines blog didn’t post on V-Day. It’s okay! I’ll make it up to you here~

As a further notice, I will be deleting most of my inbox requests, as a lot of them have been sitting for a while. I apologize to those who are left, but this is needed.

Anyways, have some Raihan V-Day fluff!

Raihan knew a lot about dragons. Like, a lot. Dragon expert to the core, so much so that he ended up taking on some of their draconic qualities. Like protectiveness, jealousy, and every once in a while, a growl. Raihan also knew a lot about the Applin tales, as per his title as dragon expert and the vault keeper. Yet for some reason, he didn’t think that they would play a part in his life, until now.

Applins were fairly common in Galar as a declaration of love, and because of his titles, he had been asked so many times of where to find them, how to breed the right one, yadda yadda. Even some gym leaders like Nessa had asked his advice on this topic. And now, with Valentines day coming up, it was all the rage.

You had been champion for some time now, and already you were proving to be both formidable, dependable, and breathtaking. You didn’t use the typical cape that Leon wore, and instead, made your own outfit that made it look like you were dancing whenever a particularly powerful move whipped your dress around. Honestly, you treated a lot of your matches like a contest, and it had garnered you a lot of attention, and possible suitors.

That’s why Raihan never felt like he had a chance. You were beautiful! Even a lot of the other gym leaders had been talking about you, some of them wondering if you were single. That was when Raihan figured out how jealous he was. He all but snapped at Milo when directed a question about it at him, but he played it off that he was just stressed recently and apologized.

A day before Valentines day, you waltzed into his gym. He wasn’t expecting it, and he was honestly caught off guard. Even in your casual attire, you were striking. You were asking for some documents, and so Raihan lead you back to his office, and all the while, he had a difficult time even looking in your direction.

“Working right before Valentines day? I would’ve thought you’d wanna lay low.” He finally sent one of his signature smiles your way, trying to lighten the heaviness in his heart.

You chuckled and smiled back. “Honestly, me moving about makes it harder for the fanboys to track me. I don’t need anymore applin in my boxes, which might be entirely your fault.”

Raihan sheepishly laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeaaah... sorry about that.” He remembered the onslaught of guys who had sought him out in the previous weeks, all asking for applin advice.

“Though, I guess it gave me some good applins to get my own ideal one.”

Raihan’s eyes snapped over to you, looking over your figure. You were looking straight ahead, small grin on your face and a tiny blush on your cheeks. You had someone in mind for this applin. He figured he might as well test the waters, if not only to quell his own internal panic.

“‘Ideal applin’, huh? Does this applin have an intended recipient?”

You laughed, following the dragon up the stairs to his office. “It does, yes. Do you have an applin for someone, Raihan?”

I did, he thought to himself, but shook his head. “No. The person I would give it to has probably already been taken.”

You feigned a surprised gasp. “The infamous Raihan, with so many thousands of fangirls, somehow doesn’t get his feelings reciprocated?! How cruel!”

Finally, he was able to laugh. He hadn’t been able to do that in a while, what with him stressing, but you always managed to make his mood lighter. Though the dread of him not being your chosen recipient shot through him again when he opened the door to his office. “After you,” he purred. If there was one thing Raihan was good at, it was acting.

As he searched for the required documents, you wandered around his office, looking at all of the different dragon type memorabilia. It took longer than expected, because every time he looked up, you were happily smiling at another picture on his walls. Some were from Lance’s time, another was a championship match from Unova with Iris, and some legendary dragons were sprinkled in there.

After searching all of the file cabinets, his desk and some other places, he got everything together and handed it to you. They were all about how the power plant fared after the recent events with the Darkest Day, and as he approached you, he noticed that your demeanor became... fidgety. Your blush was more prominent, and you wouldn’t look him in the eyes. You just smiled, took the documents, said goodbye and rushed out the door before Raihan could say anything.

With a frown on his face, he sighed and went to sit as his desk. He leaned back in the chair, a huge sigh coursing through his body. It was then that he noticed a new addition to his desk. He furrowed his eyes and leaned forward to look at it closer. A loveball pokeball, sitting there and facing him. His heart rose in his chest, almost scared to touch it. His hands didn’t even meet the pokeball when the familiar blue light popped out, situating itself firmly on his lap.

An applin. Not just any applin. A shiny, bright green applin, already fast asleep on his lap. He couldn’t even make any sound, he was so shocked. His heart was racing a million miles an hour, he could barely process that it was holding two things. A sweet apple, and a note.

Dear Raihan,

I’m not very good at this love stuff, and I know this is really cliche, but this is the easiest way to get my feelings across. This applin is specifically bred to not only be shiny, but also have everything you need to make a badass competitive mon. I figured you already had someone special, so I just wanted to make this quick and easy. I didn’t want to hold it in anymore.

P.S. I’d like to grab some coffee with you sometime.

[Y/N]

Raihan read over the note several times, a smile brimming on his face. Then he took out his phone, held the sleeping applin up to his chest in a warm embrace, and snapped a selfie. He pulled up your text chain with him and sent the picture.

Raihan, 12:59pm

you know you could’ve stayed right

A couple seconds later, he got a ding, and wondered if you had expected something along these lines.

Cutie Bean, 1:00pm

I’M SORRY OKAY I GET NERVOUS

Cutie Bean, 1:00pm

I wanted to stay but I was... to scared.

Raihan, 1:01pm

did u really need those documents? lol

Cutie Bean, 1:01pm

...Yes, but I figured I’d leave that there too...

Raihan, 1:01pm

well, i think i’ll name her Cutie Pie after what I have you in my phone

Raihan, 1:02pm

besides, i think a coffee date tomorrow would be absolutely perfect, my cute little dragon <3

Raihan, 1:02pm

unless u have other plans? :(

Cutie Bean, 1:03pm

You’re my plan now <3

Cutie Bean, 1:03pm

Shit I have to find something to wear.

For the rest of the day, you and Raihan were texting back and forth. Everyone was wondering why he suddenly looked so happy after sulking for almost two weeks straight, but then they noticed the applin sleeping happily in the hood of his hoodie. The more that Raihan looked at Cutie Pie, he realized just how terrifying of a mon this could be. Amazing IV’s, right nature, hidden ability. He vowed to not only kiss you till the sun rose, but also someday kick your ass with this girl. If she were to ever wake up.

[universal-kitty]

.: Day 1 - F/O February :.

Reverse Self-Ship: You are your F/O’s F/O!!

I’m from a video game series akin to an odd mix of Watch_Dogs and Grand Theft Auto. Things can get a little pervy, hijacking cars is involved, stealth and adventure abound...but so is a bunch of ridiculous, silly things, like a petting minigame that triggers randomly when interacting with my cat.

There’s a single-player mode focused on my background and meeting up with past friends or exes...and is story-based, allowing you to attack and kill them, befriend them again... All sorts of stuff.

Also, the option to adopt more cats and become a crazy cat lady...in spirit.

Shit, romance people if you want! Live life!

Marcus got Wrench (Reggie) the game as a birthday gift. It was mostly a joke, because Reg REALLY thought he wouldn’t like it....and what else do best friends do but give their bffs prank gifts?

Still, Marcus bought it for him new... So Reg boots it up and gives it a chance, anyways.

......holy shit, he actually likes this WAY more than he first thought he would.

First of all, he HATES animals; every one he’s ever met seems to hate him and hurt him, so he’s turned his back on animalkind. However, throughout the game, I’m NOTHING but kind to every animal and suspicious of every person I meet.... Some of which he understands completely. There are some ASSHOLES in this game!!

Also, the way I croon to my cat and get into baby talk... It’s so damn cute to him. Really makes him feel some kinda way, which he flushes over. (Haha, wow that’s embarrassing.)

The point is, he ends up hating animals a little less and starts loving cats a LOT more.

Actually had to put down the controller and walk away from the game when doing a dancing minigame. He could barely focus on the button commands with how cute I was being while doing the dances.

Proceeds to look up people who 100% the dances just so he can save them to his phone. Watch them whenever he wants.

Later deletes them, 100%s them on his own, and THEN saves them onto his phone. Is a lot more happy with them, cause they’re HIS gameplay videos and not someone else’s.

LOVES messing around with outfits. Someone on the staff was either a big fan of cats or just...made that my most out-there personality trait (second only to the games and show in my world that are obviously knock-offs of real-world games), but he’s not complaining. Running around in cat ears and a cat tail? So damn cute.

His personal favorites are the masks I have combined with the matching jackets; it makes me feel more relatable to him...but he’s a greedy man and always eventually takes them off so he can look at my face.

Has SO MANY PICTURES on Facebook of him playing this damn game. Marcus kinda thought he was pranking at first, but now the whole squad knows Reg is a bit of an addict.

They got him the other games on Christmas and he cried. Everyone was....kinda in awe.

Josh got him a t-shirt with my character on it that reads “Bee Paw-sitive~!” on it. He wears it a LOT.

He definitely started up a collection that rivaled....basically no one else in the fandom.

HATES seeing the fandom pairings. And since you can romance anyone due to my sexuality canonly being Panromantic...it’s frustrating.

(Well, he’s Bi, so some of the people he wouldn’t mind sharing with, yeah....but he’s specifically venomous over the people he’s SURE are my friends only. Or are/were super toxic to me in my past. So, so bitter that anyone likes those ships, but holds his tongue only bc he got a figurine of me doing some cutesy pose next to his monitor. It helps him keep his head.)

Literally has a savings account reserved for merchandise. If it exists, he wants to buy it. If it doesn’t, but someone’s commissions are open? He’s gonna buy it.

Has bought art, jumped on art-trades/requests to get MORE art of us together. Has two plushies of me, as well as a body pillow. Continues to seek more things.

Is honestly upset that my size is medium (and so he can’t wear my canonly fitted clothes), BUT that doesn’t stop him from owning a single shirt in my size AND getting items that mimic my wardrobe.

He likes to imagine we can match together....or I can wear HIS version of my fave shirts when mine are dirty~!

Is still debating getting a kitten. Until that day, cat plushes are among the only other plushes he has (aside from mine).

Weird as he felt about it, he later admitted to his friends that he....kinda felt romantically towards me? And was thinking about just being fictoromantic...

Josh was the first one to see no problem with it and fast. People can be hard to work with, so... You do you. (Reg then felt bad about bullying him so much....oop.)

Horatio was also quickly on board. “Hey man, they make you happy. If it helps, it helps.”

Marcus....was a little more confused, but got in the spirit of it, regardless. “man, if I knew you would’ve actually liked it, I woulda got it for you a lot sooner!! Have fun, man.”

Sitara doesn’t quite get it, but.... It sure explains why Reg kept pestering her to tag “Purrfect Anarchy” in certain places and commissioning her for stylized art of him with them.

T-Bone....kinda harasses him about it, but the group stands by Reg. Josh is pretty upset about it, though.

He also follows every piece of news and publicly shares it, after admitting to being ficto. LOTS more pictures like, “Cutie’s got good taste.” [selfie with him sticking out his tongue and wearing one of the replica shirts] “Dinner date with bae!” [screenshot of me looking at the screen of his laptop, dinner and candlelight between us]

Everyone rolled with it more and more over time, so now it’s entirely not uncommon for them to bribe Reg to do things by dragging me into it...

Sitara: Hey, you leaving? Wrench: ...yeah, why? Sitara: Can you get me a coffee while you’re out? Wrench: Wh-? Why should I get you-? Sitara: I bet Rachel would like you doing something like that, y’know. Wrench: .....That’s cruel. You’re cruel. Sitara: I know~! You know how I like it, thank you, and Rachel loves you. Wrench: [sputters audibly and shuffles out the door, muttering to himself, embarrassed]

They don’t do a LOT of crimes anymore, but... Definitely still fuck shit up w/ cops. Reg daydreams a shitton about a masked romance and the anarchy we could commit together... After all, I helped him be braver. So he could help me, too, and then..... So much glorious chaos. Maybe makeouts in his car...

Was literally the type to not give a SHIT about marriage or kids, but now nonstop thinks about our lives together. Anarchy and domestic lifestyle shit can coexist, right? We can be married, have our cute lil’ two story (three, if you count the attic AND a basement), and some kids.....and also go create anarchy and throw bricks at cop cars and cause so much damn trouble..... Right?

He’ll even get a CAT for our home. It’ll be our first kid and not only will he be SO COOL, but they’ll name her (yes, a girl) Princess Leia and I’ll probably cry in happiness!!

Reg is DETERMINED to be the best husband/boyfriend ever. Doesn’t matter which, cause whatever speed I’d like to go at? Hell yeah, he’s down for it. Just as long as he can still hold my hand and gush over how cute I am and-

Has gushed about me and my series before and WILL do so again, prompted or not.

Actually participated in the fandom a little. Mostly does reblogs and such, but has written a few stories (self-inserts are the majority), done some not too shabby art, and prides himself on being the BIGGEST fan of the series with all the merch he has AND commissions bought.

Made a select few friends who also are fans, but... Is constantly anxious about his self-shipping. Either that they might eventually think he’s weird, send more anon hate (he’s gotten some in the past for “being a creep”), or- worst yet- also self-ship with me and he’s still dealing with that idea.

Until then, he’s got a wedding ring he bought cheap at the jewelry section of some store, so.... Coping skills, babey.

[robinrunsfiction]

Best Laid Plans (Ryan Seaman x Reader)

Pairing: Ryan Seaman x Reader Rating: General Requested By: scrolling-my-life-away “Ok so either with frank or Ryan S (bc there are not enough of him) where band members keep trying to awkwardly get y’all together but it’s super cute and just lots of fluff!” Word Count: 1,700 Author’s Note: Wrote it with Ryan Seaman because there really needs to be more of him! Also what is with me and cute old people in Ryan stories?

"I can't stand it any longer," Dallon announced. "I refuse to sit by idly any longer, I have to do something."

"Babe, they're adults, they'll figure it out soon enough, don't worry about it." Dallon paced around the front of the bus as Breezy looked on, slightly exasperated.

"No, this is getting excruciating, I'm taking action." With that Dallon marched over to where you and Ryan were talking.

"Hey guys," he said with a sweet tone. “I'm bored, and I was just talking to Breezy and we've never been to this next city before, so we're thinking we can pair off and do a photo scavenger hunt.”

“Oh fun!” You replied. “Boys versus girls?”

“No!” Dallon quickly snapped and both you and Ryan looked at him surprised. “I just wanna spend some time with my wife, why don't you guys team up. I’ll send out the lists when we get there.”

You had been traveling with the band photographing all their shows and backstage moments. You considered yourself to be the documentarian of the beginning of the rise of IDKHow. When you were first hired on, you clicked with the band immediately, but more so with Ryan. You always kept it professional, but you somehow ended up with more shots of the drummer than what you could reasonably use. Ryan always seemed to gravitate to you whenever he had a free moment, such as during the long hauls between cities, looking for any excuse to talk to you.

~

When you arrived in town Dallon had found, and then specifically edited, the scavenger hunt list, to make it so you were most likely to end up in a flirtatious situation of two.

“Sound check is at 5:30, so that’s the cut off. We will see you losers when we get back.”

“Yea right,” you retorted as you started to skim over the list. Breezy and Dallon hurried out of the bus as Ryan peered over your shoulder at the list on your phone.

“A flyer for a local event, we could use the concert tonight! A red door, a kissing couple, oh they’re just gonna take a selfie for that one, aren’t they?”

“That’s what we get for letting Dallon plan the list, I guess. Ready to go?”

“Let’s do this!”

You and Ryan wandered around the city center looking for options. The town they were playing was a university town and luckily the school colors were red and white, so red doors were plentiful. You took photos of the items, and Ryan posted updates to his Instagram stories.

“Hey guys, I’m out here hanging with (YN) and we are currently beating Dallon and Breezy at this scavenger hunt,” he said into the phone as you attempted to take a photo of some baby ducks. He watched you fondly as you made noises to get the ducks to look your way. “Hey (YN), wanna really mess up Dallon's game?”

“Obviously,” you replied, your competitive side taking over.

“Come here,” you sat down next to him as he started the next video. “Alright guys, if you’re coming to our show tonight, know that Dallon is wandering out down here, and if you like me and (YN) at all, you'll go get in their way, thanks!” He signed off with a laugh. You couldn't hide your surprise at the dirty trick he just played on them. “See how well their unfair advantage works now!” Ryan said getting up.

“We only have like 2 more left,” you said looking over the list. “A kissing couple,” you felt your cheeks turn a little pink thinking it would be so fun to lean up and kiss Ryan right then, but you weren’t a couple, and that’s what you needed. You scanned the park and saw an old couple getting ice cream for the grandson. “Bingo!” you said as you started over toward them.

“Excuse me, are you two married?” You asked politely as you approached.

“45 years!” the old man exclaimed with a smile that put a smile on Ryan and your faces as well.

“We're doing a photo scavenger hunt and we need a photo of a couple kissing; can we take your photo?” Ryan asked.

“We won't put it up on the internet or anything, it’s just for us to show the other team.”

“I suppose that would be fine,” the old lady said before turning to her husband with her lips puckered. They kissed long enough for you to get a great photo of them with their grandson looking slightly disgusted off to the side. It was funny and cute.

“This turned out great, thank you so much for your help,” you said before walking away with Ryan.

“Why didn't they just kiss each other!” The old woman asked her husband when you were out of earshot.

“I thought they were going to ask me to take their picture with one of those smartphones, I’m glad they didn't, I probably would have deleted everything!”

~

You reconvened with Dallon and Breezy to review the photos you took. As you scrolled through your phones, comparing what they got versus your team, they got to a photo of them kissing.

“I knew that’s what you would do,” Ryan commented.

“Yea well, what did you guys do?” Dallon retorted.

“We met the cutest old couple, they’ve been married for 45 years!” You said pulling up the photo. Breezy aww'ed at the photo but Dallon threw up his hands, exasperated. You glanced at Ryan, who shot you a confused look as well as you continued comparing the results of the scavenger hunt.

~

A couple days later you were in another new town with an extra day before the show. These types of days were pretty rare on the tour, so everyone was excited. Dallon decided that it was time to try another way to get you and Ryan together.

"A bunch of us are going out to dinner tonight, you wanna come along?" Dallon asked you and Ryan casually that morning.

"Yea, sure sounds great," you said.

"Yea I'm in," Ryan replied.

"Perfect, the reservation will be under my name in case we're running like," Dallon said as he walked away.

"Why would he be late to his own dinner plans?" You asked.

"I dunno, but he's been acting weird lately."

You watched through narrowed eyes as Dallon went back over by his wife and started saying something to her. “Very suspicious.”

Ryan just shrugged. "I'm just excited to eat something on this tour besides fast food."

"Same," you replied.

~

You arrived at the restaurant a little early. You gave the hostess Dallon's name and you were led to a table for two secluded from the rest of the tables, lit warmly with a few small candles.

“I think there’s a mistake-” you started as the hostess sat you at the table.

“We were told you might say that, but no, this is for you,” she said before walking away.

You sat there for a few minutes feeling anxious, even more so when you saw who the hostess was bringing over.

“Hi Ryan,” you said when he sat down.

“(YN), wow, you look stunning.” You wear wearing the nicest dress you had brought with you on tour. It was short, black, and had an open back.

“Thanks, you look really nice as well. So, umm, I think I know what’s going on and why Dallon was acting so weird. We're being set up.”

“Definitely a set up,” Ryan replied with a laugh.

“I don't mind,” you said quietly.

Ryan raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Really? ‘Cause I don't either.”

You smiled warmly at Ryan, not sure what to say, but you were rescued by the waiter arriving at the table.

“Good evening, my name is Michael and I will be taking care of you tonight. I have been given specific instructions that Mr. Weekes will be taking care of the bill, so please do not hesitate when making your choices. Can I suggest a bottle of wine to get started?”

You were grinning by now, both because of the absurdity that Dallon wanted this to happen so badly, but also because you knew you were about to cut loose on that menu. “I think that sounds like a great idea, Michael.”

After a bottle of wine, almost too much food, and a lot of great conversation, you found Ryan holding your hand in his and he was smiling at you like he could hardly believe this was happening.

You and Ryan walked out of the restaurant hand in hand and down the street toward the hotel where you were all staying.

“Isn't there a park on the other side of the building?” you asked.

“Yea, I think I saw that, wanna check it out?”

“Yea,” you replied giving his hand a squeeze. You didn't want the night to end.

You walked along the path through the park, illuminated by old fashioned street lamps. Eventually you found a bench and sat down.

“Like I said before, I’m actually glad Dallon did this for us. I didn't really realize that you might have feelings for me,” you mumbled.

“I was thinking the same thing. And I didn't know if I should say anything before the tour ended, in case you didn't feel the same.”

“I’m glad this is working out,” you smiled. Ryan took the opportunity to place his hand on your cheek and leaned in, placing a sweet kiss on your lips and you kissed back. After a moment you pulled back and you were both smiling. Ryan wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you snugly against him and you rested your head on his shoulder.

“I was thinking,” you started. Ryan mmhmm'ed to let you know he was listening. “What if we play it off like this didn't work and we're still totally clueless to our feelings, just to see if we can get some more free meals put of it.”

Ryan laughed heartily at your suggestion. “That would drive him nuts! Maybe we should. Although I don't know if I can go back to not kissing you every time I want to.”

You looked up at him. “I agree, this is better.”

Masterlist

[anonymouswriter2311]

Robin having trouble explain Alice to what tinder is.

Thanks for the amazing prompt!!

It had been Alice’s idea to leave the comfort of her small hut that afternoon. After years stuck in the tower, even the thought of spending time indoors when it wasn’t called for, didn’t sound one bit appealing to her. So, she managed to drag the extremely tired and cranky archer out of bed and the two set off on an adventure. While on her latest trip to Wonderland, Alice had heard talk of the local Rabbit burrows, being trampled on and destroyed, so the blonde had decided that she would call by all the local ones, just to check in and to get a cuddle from her little furry friends. Robin had been content in just watching her love play with the little rabbits, having always felt a small twinge of fear for the bouncing creatures. Feeling content that all her little furry friends were safe, Alice began to enjoy the misty walk she had led them on, her hand never leaving Robin’s as they trekked through the mud in a peaceful, blissful silence…until Robin ended up covered in mud from head to toe.

“That is the last time we go rabbit burrow hunting after a storm! I have mud, where mud shouldn’t be!” Robin muttered as they entered the blonde woman’s house, her cloak was weighing heavy on her shoulders as it held all the extra weight from the now dried in mud attached.

“Well, I think that has more to do with you trying and failing to tackle me,” Alice spoke in a sing-song tone, as she hung her own, clean cloak, upon its peg. Watching closely as the archer began to shed her clothes, leaving her in only her underwear and a pale green tank top.

“I was just trying to get one of these…” Robin purred as she snaked her arms around the blonde girl’s frame, digging her fingers into her curves as she drew her in closer. Resting her forehead on the blonde’s, the archer stared attentivity into Alice’s baby blue eyes, before leaning in to brush their lips together over and over, adding more pressure with each brush, until the blonde couldn’t take it anymore and slammed their lips together, bumping noses and biting lips as they did so.

“Mmm, well you can have more of these…after you have a bath because as much as I love you, you are a little stinky,” Alice smirked as she pushed the brunette away from her, a pout spreading across the archer’s face.

“And what are you going to be doing while I’m in the bath?” Robin winked, as she wiggled her eyebrows at the blonde.

“Not joining you if that’s what you are getting at! We both know that my little tub isn’t big enough and I’m not living through that again!” The blonde shivered at the memory of the last time Robin had convinced her to get in the tub with her. The archer claimed that it would be fun, but all it was a pain in the ass…quite literally.

“No fun…” The archer stuck her tongue out at the blonde, who simply repeated the gesture in return, causing them both to giggle slightly.

“We can have plenty of fun later…but now, bath time!” Alice winked, before pointing towards the small bathroom.

“Fine…” Robin smirked before pulling off her pale green tank top and unclasping her bra, letting it fall to the ground.

“Teasing won’t get you anywhere!” Alice said breathlessly, as she licked her lips hungrily.

“In my experience teasing gets me everywhere!” Robin winked playfully before swaying into the bathroom.

While Robin relaxed into the bath, Alice made a point of tidying up the small hut. Carefully she scooped up the archer’s dirty clothes, preparing to wash them when suddenly a small buzzing came from the archers pants pocket.

“Robin?” Alice mumbled as she took the phone out of her loves pocket.

“Yeah?” Robin called out.

“Your magic box is lighting up…” The blonde mumbled as she gently held the magic box in her hand, afraid that she might break it.

“Babe, we’ve been over this. It’s not magic…and it’s probably just game notifications. Just swipe the bar and hit 4689.” The archer laughed, before relaxing back into the tub, letting the hot water wash over her body.

“This thing just keeps getting more and more curious,” Alice muttered to herself as she unlocked the smartphone. Startled as the screen lit up to reveal a small picture of her archer surrounded by a light red circle, before revealing the word ‘Tinder’ on the screen.

“Robin…” Alice called out, confused about what she was seeing on the screen of Robin’s magic box.

“I promise it’s not magic…” The brunette laughed.

“I know that…now. I didn’t know you had such a love for trees.” Alice smirked to herself, having misread the title, assuming that it was all about trees.

“Trees?” Robin mumbled, having no idea what her blonde love was talking about.

“Timber…Oh! That doesn’t look like trees.” Alice gasped as a pretty blonde appeared on the screen.

“Shit! Alice love put the phone down!” Robin called out, as the loud splashes of water followed.

“Woah…what is this thing?” The blonde whispered to herself, as she clicked on the little heart button, making the picture of the pretty girl disappear and a new picture of a brunette take its place. After a few more clicks of the heart button, the blonde girl found herself bored with the other girls and set out to find what else the app had to offer. Clicking on the small person-shaped icon, the screen revealed a number of pictures of her brunette lover and a small paragraph of text.

“Robin Mills…I’m just your average eighteen-year-old, bored with life and looking for a certain honey to entertain me…sorry guys, but this is a girl only event…I’ve got what some would call a magical touch (if you know what I mean), former Evil Mother, weird obsession with stealing so you better protect your hearts, ladies,,…” Alice read out loud, trying her best not to laugh at the words accompanied by a number of cute selfies.

“Please stop…this is the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever had to experience.” Robin quickly ran out, a towel gripped tightly around her body.

“What is this thing?” Alice’s eyes lit up as she held the phone up to her love, displaying Robin’s profile to the embarrassed brunette.

“It’s…it’s a dating app from back in Storybrooke…but I haven’t even thought about it since I met you!” Robin quickly grabbed the phone from her love, before hanging her head in embarrassment.

“This is how you found a relationship back in your world?” Alice mumbled, worried about if she was good enough for the archer that stood in front of her.

“Well…it wasn’t exactly used for finding relationships…it’s more of a glorified hook-up app.” The brunette muttered embarrassed by everything that was happening.

“Hook-up?” Alice scrunched up her face in confusion before it finally clicked with her. “Oh! You’d push on these buttons and a girl would appear and…”

“God No! I mean there are probably girls who…but I never! I never even answered any of the messages!” The brunette was quick to speak, making it clear that she was not that type of girl.

“Why not? Some of these girls are pretty…a lot of blondes.” Alice joked though Robin could tell that the girl wasn’t happy.

“Honestly? Sure, some of them were cute, completely my type, but I never felt any kind of connection when I looked at their pictures or read their bio’s.” Robin smiled sweetly, as she leaned over to peck the girl’s lips gently, as she cupped her cheek.

“Well, they obviously felt something for you…there are loads of people on here asking to meet up…” Alice mumbled as she nudged her nose against the arches bare shoulder, placing a small peck on the now clean skin.

“Well, they’re out of luck, because the only girl I want is right in front of me.” The brunette smiled brightly, as she threaded her fingers through blonde’s hair.

“Really?”

“Really…how many times do I have to tell you that I love you with all my heart before you start to believe me?” Robin refused to back down, keeping her eyes locked with the blondes.

“I do believe you and I feel exactly the same, my love…but look at all these girls, I’m not half as pretty as some of them…sometimes I just worry that you’ll decide to go back to your world and be with someone else, someone with a lot less baggage.” A small tear trickled down her face, but it was quickly wiped away by the archer’s lips, kissing sweet kisses all over the blondes face.

“I love you and all your baggage…and the fact that you go looking for rabbit’s burrows just to check in, and those disgusting sandwiches you eat…and that little face you make whe…” Robin spoke between kisses, pecking her lips, her cheek, her neck.

“I get it…I get it, you love me for me.” Alice quickly cut her off, knowing exactly what was on the brunette’s mind.

“Forever and always,” Robin announced proudly. “And to prove it, I’m going to delete this godforsaken app, something I should have done a long time ago.” The brunette quickly lifted the forgotten phone from the ground.

“No, wait! I wouldn’t mind if you kept it for a little longer…I was having so much fun playing matchmaker!” Alice quickly snatched the phone from her lover as she looked at all the girls the app had to offer.

“You do realize that you are matching them with me? Your girlfriend?” Robin asked in confusion as she moved to sit behind she love, wrapping her arms around the blonde’s slender body as she placed small kisses along the freckled neck.

“Yep! But I know that it’s all just make-believe and that you aren’t going anywhere.” Alice relaxed into her practically naked lover’s arms, having only a thin towel covering her glorious body. “You love me too much!”

“That I do…” Robin purred as she gently released the small knot keeping the towel closed.

***

The two girls had just finished moving the last of their belongings into their new flat. It was two blocks away from Alice’s Father and right next to the archery range that Zelena had just bought for her daughter to run.

“Was that?” Robin’s eyes lit up as the tell-tale sound of a Tinder match bell rang through the apartment.

“No!” Alice let out a small squeak as the brunette raised an eyebrow at her love. In a flash, both of them were scrambling towards the table, where Alice’s phone lay.

“That was! Oh my god, you made a Tinder for yourself!” Robin shouted as she reached the phone first, unlocking it to check out the girl’s Tinder profile.

“Technically Tilly made a Tinder…” Alice defended herself, even though she could tell that Robin was more amused than annoyed.

“You really did like it all those years ago, huh?” The brunette joked, as started swiping, checking out the local girls that have matched with Tilly.

“Give it back…I’m going to delete it!” Alice demanded, having to stand on her tiptoes as Robin lifted the phone high into the air.

“Not a chance, it’s my turn to play matchmaker now…” Robin teased, before running and jumping onto the couch, with the blonde following close behind. “Oh, this one is so your type.” Robin coed, fully engrossed in the phone.

“Yeah, she is,” Alice whispered as she stared lovingly at the woman she couldn’t wait to spend the rest of her life with.

Next Chapter of Mad Archer Prompts will be out Wednesday! See you on Monday for the next chapter of My Robin!  

AO3

[thevezinamonologues-blog]

Flannel Boy

Prompt: [TEXT]: LOOK AT THIS SHIRT feat. Christian Dvorak For: Anon Warnings: Alcohol, gratuitous use of emojis, a little bit of sex. Still NSFW. Word Count: 2229

It had been two weeks since you moved to Arizona, and you were already getting really, really tired of whoever previously had your new phone number. You needed a clean break from your old life and, at first, you thought having a brand new phone, phone number, and plan to go along with your small new apartment and your new job would be freeing, but you were starting to get a little, tiny bit fed up. Apparently, the person who’d had your new number before you was some sort of frat boy? Yes. Definitely a frat boy. A fray boy who’d told exactly none of his bros that he’d gotten a new number.

You got drunk texts from all over the place, at all hours of the day, including one that was either from a person who either really needed to seek medical attention or was speaking in Swedish (you were pretty sure that was the Swedish flag emoji they’d sent).

You’d just settled onto your couch, getting out your laptop and trying to organize your projects for the next week when your phone chimed again. You groaned, not wanting to explain to another frat boy why this was not their friend, this was an exhausted twenty-something woman with a quickly depleting reservoir of patience. Before you could even tap the messages app, a second text came through, followed by a photo. Then another text. Then another photo.

Good grief.

Your ire slipped away, though, as you read the messages.

[TEXT]: LOOK AT THIS DOG [TEXT]: LOOK AT THIS SHIRT

The next message was an image of a french bulldog wearing some sort of red and black flannel.

[TEXT]: WHO WORE IT BETTER?

The second photo was a man, probably around your age, wearing what looked like the exact same patterned shirt stretched over his broad shoulders. He was grinning into the camera, light eyes peeking out under a mass of curly blond hair and a square jaw that you couldn’t help but admire. He was at a bar, holding a pint of something light and frothy and, upon closer inspection, you recognized it as the bar near your new apartment. Huh. Small world.

You couldn’t help yourself but be amused at this guy. Rather than your terse messages you’d sent to the other friends of your number’s previous occupant, you decided to try a different approach.

[TEXT]: I hate to be the bearer of bad news in this fashion crisis, but you have the wrong number. Whoever had my number before me didn’t seem to tell any of his friends he’d changed it. Sorry :(

You waited for a few beats before typing out another message.

[TEXT]: Totally the dog, though. :P

You didn’t get a reply in the next few seconds, so you figured he’d just deleted the number and moved on. You sighed and put your phone down next to you to get back to work. You were neck-deep in planning before your phone chimed again and this time you recognized that number. Flannel boy.

You checked your texts to see that he’d responded with a string of shocked emojis, then a single sad face. You laughed and had just sent back a girl shrugging emoji when an idea hit you. This was probably stupid, but you were fairly new in the area, you didn’t know many people outside of your new coworkers, so maybe flirting with a handsome stranger who sent his friends pictures of dogs was a good way to spend your Sunday afternoon. You typed out a response with one hand as you dug through your “yet-to-be-unpacked” pile of boxes until you found what you were looking for.

[TEXT]: You’re cute, but you’ll have to settle for third place in the red flannel race today.

This time his answer was almost immediate.

[TEXT]: Third??

You swung the soft throw blanket you’d found in your boxes over your shoulders loosely, grinning to yourself at the red flannel pattern. You did a quick check in your hallway mirror. Boobs: Perky. Hair: Artfully placed over shoulders. Eyeliner: Still leftover from last night but it looked smudged in a way that brought out your eyes. You took a quick selfie, showing off the blanket around your shoulders and sent it to flannel boy, along with a silver medal emoji.

Three dots showed up, showing that flannel boy was responding, but they stopped, then started, then stopped, then started again. It was nearly three minutes before your phone chimed with an incoming message.

[TEXT]: Wow <3

Over the next couple weeks, you texted flannel boy more and more often, pleased to find that he was funny, personable, and a surprisingly good listener. You found out that his name was Christian (though you saved him in her phone as Flannel Boy along with the picture of the bulldog) and he played hockey. He was staying in Arizona over the summer to train before next season, and, though he’d offered to buy you a drink in person sometime, he didn’t pressure you at all about it.

You’d had a particularly long and frustrating day at work, grateful for the upcoming weekend. You kicked your shoes off at your door and headed right to the couch, grabbing your phone and texting Christian.

[TEXT]: I need a beer, a hug, and a dog to snuggle. It’s been that sort of day.

Christian didn’t answer back immediately, but you looked at the clock and vaguely recalled him saying something about working with the trainer that afternoon, so you leaned back against the throw pillows and closed your eyes for a nap.

You woke up to your phone buzzing on your chest. You blinked a few times, checking the screen to see a familiar picture a french bulldog wearing a plaid shirt. Christian was calling you.

“Hello?” you answered, your voice groggy from sleep.

“I can help with two of those things,” he said. His voice was soothing, almost melodic, and you noticed a little lisp as he continued. “I mean, I’m at the store. I can get you a six-pack and I can like stop by and like… give you a hug? If you want?”

It took you awhile to wrap your head around what in the hell he was even talking about, but then you remembered the text you’d sent him before falling asleep and your cheeks flushed.

“Sorry,” he said quickly before she could answer. “That was- Wow that was presumptuous of me. I just wanted to cheer you up but like… yeah forget I said anything-”

“Corona,” you interrupted him, smiling into the blanket that you grabbed off the back of the couch.

“Huh?”

“Corona,” you repeated patiently. “And it wasn’t presumptuous. It was sweet. I’ll text you my address.”

“Okay!” He said and you could already tell the way he perked up at that and you found yourself blushing to an empty room all over again. “I’ll be over soon!”

As soon as you hung up, you got up, stretching before heading to your room and inspecting the damage your nap had done to your appearance. Your work clothes were all wrinkled, but they weren’t really comfortable and you wanted to change out of them anyway. Your hair was a disaster, but a few sprays of water and a couple bobby pins turned it into at the very least a controlled disaster. You threw your work clothes in the hamper and put on a pair of leggings and a long tank top. It was casual, but still something you felt comfortable and confident in. With that out of the way, you decided to make an attempt to clean the worst areas of your apartment. A month in Arizona and you still had a bit of an organizational and unpacking procrastination problem, but you got the worst of it organized into piles before you heard the knock on the door.

You answered, grinning as you saw Christian, looking nervous as he held out the six pack of Corona and a produce bag with two limes out to you. He was wearing the same flannel he’d worn when you ‘met’. You marveled a bit at just how much of your doorway he managed to take up before taking the offerings and showing him inside. You put the beer and limes in the fridge. Gathering up your courage, you turned around to face him.

“So, about that hug…” you said at the same time he spoke up.

“You still want that hug?” You both broke off in laughter and just like that, the nervous tension was broken and you stepped forward, wrapping your arms around his middle.

His broad arms came around your shoulders and held you tight against him. He smelled fresh, like clean spring air and sunshine, and you nuzzled against his neck. His breath hitched and one arm loosened. You worried for a moment that he was letting go so soon, but you relaxed again as his hand flattened and moved in slow circles up and down your back.

“This might be the best hug I’ve ever gotten,” you mumbled into that godforsaken flannel, smiling to yourself.

“Same,” you felt the word rumble in his chest as he said it, his voice sounding a big choked. You loosened your hold enough to look up at his face. He was looking down at you, pupils blown and a soft, hesitant look in those wide eyes of his.

“Y/N….” he breathed, the gentle puff of air tickling your nose. “Can I kiss you? Please?”

You nodded before putting your fingertips on his jaw to guide his lips to you.

The first kiss was chaste and soft. Then, the slow gentle pecks got deeper, as though you were learning each others’ lips. It seemed like he had an endless amount of patience, but you pressed against him, your free hand sliding under the hem of his shirt to run your palm across his lower back, pulling him tight to you.

Christian groaned into your lips before pulling away enough to rest his forehead against yours. “I wanted to like… take you out on a date at least, first…” he mumbled a little sullenly. You smiled at his thoughtfulness as he continued. “I want… I mean if you want… I want this to be a… a thing.”

“A thing?” You teased gently before going up on your toes to kiss him again. “Me, too. I’m not a huge fan of casual. But we can still do dinner later if you’ve got your heart set on it… but right now I’d really like to take you to my bed if you don’t mind.”

“Yes,” Christian said quickly and crouched down, lifting you into his arms. You clutched onto him, a little terrified at first as your legs locked around his waist, but soon enough you were arching your back and shifting in his arms, trying to find some way to grind down on those shifting muscles between your thighs.

He set you down gently on the edge of the bed and you immediately reached for your tank top, tugging it up and over your head, throwing it to the side. He stared for a moment before getting with the picture and peeling off his clothes. You’d stripped down to your underwear when he stopped you with a gentle request. “Wait,” he breathed. “I wanna do that myself.”

You smiled and nodded, sliding back on the bed to watch him finish taking off his clothes. He was so focused on you, and honestly, it made you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.

Until he was so focused that he tripped over some of his clothes on his way to the bed. He stumbled and finally steadied himself at the foot of your bed while you roared with laughter. He climbed into your outstretched arms and kissed you, trying to pout, but not quite managing to hold in his own chuckle.

“That was adorable,” you hummed, kissing his flushed cheek fondly. Truly, there was nothing better to you than someone you could laugh in bed with. Sex wasn’t always this serious, solemn thing. It was fun. You liked to have fun. And Christian made your heart feel light.

Christian grinned as he hooked his fingers into your panties, slowly sliding them down your thighs. Your arm shot out to the side, blindly groping around for the drawer in your nightstand. Once you finally found a condom, you discretely checked the expiration date before handing it off to him.

To your surprise, he pouted. “I wanted to eat you out first,” he said sullenly and you chuckled again, eliciting another laugh from him.

“Later,” you promised him. “Want you inside me now.”

He nodded and looked into the open nightstand drawer before leaning over you and grabbing some lube. He rolled the condom on before lubing up his cock, then his fingers. He slid his fingers inside of you. You were already soaked, you could tell already, but you appreciated his care. You were looking up at him with a dopey smile as he grabbed his cock, settling between your thighs and positioning himself at your entrance.

“You’re still laughing?” he teased you and you reached up to his shoulders to bring him close as he slid slowly into you.

“M’just happy,” you breathed against his lips, watching as his whole face lit up at your admission.

“Me, too.”

[daisydaring]

Final Tutorial Assignment: Fictitious art movement: Post-identity

Kylie Jenner Lips and Babydoll Eyes 

Chloe Krasinski, writer and editor for VIEW, interviews James Bucket the artist and writer who coined the term Post-Identity for the ever unfolding notion of identity in conversation with the current digital landscape.  

This trend has been lurking on our online spaces for quite some time but it is interesting to finally tag it with a name- the Post-Identity- It sounds quite heavy… Tell us a bit more.

Post-identitism or Post-portraiturism is a movement that has grown out of the narcissistic nature of our society. You must know when I chose this name I did not mean to say identity is “dead” but rather it has become so multifaceted that it can no longer be observed from one definition- like how the internet is no longer a space we can escape to but rather we are constantly surrounded by it. This online culture gives life to Post-identitism, as to understand it one must know the context of the selfie. Selfie culture normalizes this notion of tuning or disguising one’s face- portraying only what you want people to see. With this comes the word of filters and face apps, designed so that we have another excuse to observe ourselves. Have you always dreamed of having Kylie Jenner’s lips or that your eyes were a bit bigger? There will be a filter for you which will give you exactly what you want.

  The movement feeds off of a universal want to be someone you are not. People are able to explore their own identities while simultaneously taking on an entirely new “face”.  Post-identitism is quite ironically self-referential. It holds up a mirror, shining light on our self-obsessed society while creating parody out of it. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not necessarily criticizing selfie culture as I do think it is an important space  for people to explore their own identity or the identity they wish to portray to the world.

Within a postmodern world, technology and the internet has had a huge affect on contemporary art. The online world now can be seen as a subject matter for which to explore the boundaries of our privacy and identity. This digital genre plays with reading of the work- is this a portrait?, is it performance?, is it photography? 

What is your take on the shift into these digital spaces and what do you think it means for the way in which one exhibits work? 

Well I would initially say that an online space is more accessible than say a gallery however that statement is quite contradictive as all galleries now have websites in which they post high quality images of their shows. What is interesting about a digital platform is the way in which the audience views the work. One can dictate exactly how they would like someone to look at their work, as it is quite impossible to establish one’s own point of view when looking at a flat screen. 

You can call me old-fashioned but I personally prefer the experience of seeing art in person-nothing quite compares. However I think a digital platform is the perfect medium for the Post-identity movement. These works are meant to be fleeting moments which should be viewed through unceremonious act of scrolling through content. Many of the works which come out of the Post-identity movement are circulated on social media and online platforms, like the selfie.

What have been some of the criticisms towards this movement?

Well, there has been some backlash towards the ethical nature of the movement. This hype of the augmented reality has led us down a dangerous path- one which has increased the dysmorphic light in which we view our bodies. Spending hours within a space outside of reality-outside of your identity- leads to alienation from not only ourselves but others who experience the same. 

Some subcultures within Post-identitism do border on the line of identity fraud. It is easy enough to filter another’s face on to your own and make a satirical comment about an arsehole politician or a ridiculous celebrity. However, it can also be read as appropriation- appropriation of another’s body or mannerisms…you see, it easily becomes problematic. We see many cases of a type of colonisation of another’s image. It gets very murky…people are not credited- ideas are stolen.  

When you were writing about the Post-identity movement where there any particular artworks that you felt played a pivotal role in shifting the notion of art?

Well, its quite hard to pinpoint the exact shift but it did quite feel like the hype grew overnight. I think there has always been an underlining obsession with ourselves which drives our societies and now today more than ever we indulge our fascination. Technology has made it incredibly accessible to customise our individual wants and needs, creating these little bubble in which we alienate ourselves from each other. This unconscious self obsession with looking at our physicality  and mentality comes up again and again through the generations of art. Take the work Paranoid by Felix Chung, any one who has some basic art history under their belt can see the connection to Francis Bacon’s work. The digital piece becomes a sort of rendered version of his work, an abstracted face which portrays signs of physiological conflict. Paranoid stands out to me as quite an amateur work however it carries the essence of vulnerability and a wish to disguise oneself-to change one’s identity. Another artist which comes to mind is the playful work of Daisy Darling. The work, Felt Cute speaks to a generation who wish to feel validated by society. The iconic line “felt cute, might delete later” represents the narcissistic yet insecure behaviour of our society. The Post-Identity movement is characterised by abstraction on one end and an almost hyper-surreality on the other. Felt Cute can be seen as surrealistic piece as it holds the dream-like qualities of over beautifying one’s self. We have come to point where cosmetology and plastic surgery is heavily normalised, especially within social media. It creates quite a toxic energy for the the youth of today to grow up in as beauty standards seem to be more impractical than ever. Darling’s work highlights these issues with parody, while also making an ironic comment about the voyeurism of the digital world. 

This also brings up questions of surveillance and privacy, an issue I forgot to mention earlier, which looms over this movement. There have been quite a few controversies involving face filters and the way in which they steal data, something which has become a deep fear of many. Some very interesting work has stemmed from these issues which makes wonder if Post-identitism is on the cusp of something bigger. I believe it is more than just an art movement but rather a lens for which to view the world with.

Felt cute

Daisy Darling

2019

Woke up like this

Jean Crawford

2019

Paranoid 

Felix Chung

2019

[cartoonloverstuff]

Match

Ash tries to set Meena up with an online dating account, much to the amusement of Eddie and Johnny (and Mr. Moon but he wouldn’t admit it)

“Would you say your an outdoors or indoors person?” “Er, I guess indoors?” Meena’s answer lack any confidence. She hadn’t been able to give a strong answer to any of the questions Ash had asked off the list on her phone. Ash repositioned herself against the wall she was leaning against and the crate she sat on. Her, Meena, and Eddie were suppose to be checking lights backstage, but Ash quickly became bored and pulled something up on her phone. She said she found a “personality quiz” and started shooting questions at Meena as the elephant continue to test all the switches to the stage lights. Eddie leaned against the wall on standby to change out any broken lights, but was more interested in the girls’ conversation. “Next question: On the first date, do you kiss or shake hands?” Meena flushed slight at this question, “Um, shake hands.” Ash paused to input her answer, then raised an eyebrow at the next question. “Hmm. Would you say you’re more… traditional or experimental?” The rocker asked carefully. The implication did not go over her friend’s head and Eddie chuckled a bit at both the question and Meena’s reaction. “Why is that question in there!?” She spun around to face Ash. Her blush turned even darker when she realized how loud she was being and quickly turned back to the control panel, hiding her face in her ears. Her reaction caught the attention of two by passers. Mr. Moon walked towards the group with concern and Johnny following him out of curiosity. “Is everything alright here?” Moon asked asked the group, but Eddie was the only one to respond. The girls were preoccupied with a debate about Meena’s answer. “Ash is giving Meena some online quiz thing. No biggie.” The sheep explained coolly. “I see. Odd how that seems so similar to you three slacking off.” Moon teased gently. “Buster, lighten up a bit would ya’?” The two friends quickly fell into their normal back and forth. And Ash was too busy bothering Meena for an answer to notice a suspicious Johnny sneaking up from the side and peering over at her screen. He smirked at what he saw. “Thought so. That’s a datin’ app.” Ash jumped when she heard Johnny speak and quickly tried to shush him. But it was too late. “What?!” Meena whirled around again with her eyes fixed on Ash. “Ash! You said this was a-” “A personality quiz! And it is!” Ash quickly reassured her friend. She was standing on the crate now with hands out in defense position, phone still in hand. She gave Johnny a quick glare over her shoulder which caused the gorilla to step back with his hands up in mock surrender. “It just happens to be part of a dating app… that I might have made-an-account-for-you-on” Ash rushed through the last part. She looked up sheepishly at Meena. Off to the side she heard Eddie call out “Ooh, busted!” “W-why would you- I don’t want- Please delete it!” Meena tripped over her own sentences as she fidgeted under the eyes of the others. Her gaze flickered nervously between Ash and the ground, avoiding the other three present. “Meena, come on, I already put the work into making it” Ash hoped off the crate was walking toward the elephant as she spoke. “And why I made it is ‘cause your cute, available girl. Finding guy might do ya some good.” She smiled encouragingly as she spoke. “How so? You had one and you didn’t make it sound so great.” Meena grumbled as she folded her arms and glared off to the side. Her gaze softened as she immediately felt bad for her comment and apologized. “She’s got a point, ya’ know.” Eddie chimed over Johnny’s chuckled and Moon’s stifled laughs. Ash rolled her eyes and paid them no mind. “Listen, this quiz’ll tell us what types of people you match well with. Maybe even give us some potential options.” Ash wiggled her eyebrows as she tried to reason her way out of deleting her hard work. “Aren’t ya even a little curious to see who you’d match with?” “Um, no. Not really.” Meena answered shyly with her eyes still on the ground. “Well I am.” Ash countered. “Me too.” Eddie chimed in, earning him an elbow in the legs from Moon. Ash beamed an her new support from the sheep and turned to look back a Johnny, cocking an eyebrow. The gorilla rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly under gaze before admitting, “yeah, a little.” Triumphantly, Ash faced Meena again. The larger of them was still hiding behind her ears and looking reluctant to partake. “Come on, Meens. It could be good for you to step out of you comfort zone a bit. Try something new, ya’ know?” Ash was practically pleading at this point. Meena sighed and closed her eyes. She felt cornered. This didn’t feel like is was good for her so much as it felt like a cheap laugh for Ash and everyone else at whatever people she’d get matched with. Still, she didn’t want to make more of a scene in front of everyone there, so she caved. “Alright… But you have to delete the account when done seeing the results, okay?” “Deal!” Ash grinned, satisfied with the bargain, and return to her spot slouched on the crate. Meena turned back to the control panel to finish testing, already regretting her agreement. She couldn’t ignore the sinking feeling in her gut that this wouldn’t end well. In the time it took to finish the quiz questions, most of which Meena spend hiding behind her ears, Eddie had moved to leaning on the wall next to Ash to look over her shoulder and Johnny sat on the crate on Ash’s other side. Mr. Moon shook his head at how unprofessional the three of them were being. As soon as the quiz was complete, Ash hit enter and waited eagerly for the results. Meena had had enough and turned to leave. “Hey! Results are over here! Aren’t'cha gonna stick around?” Ash called after her. “No thanks, I have to… Uh…” The elephant mumbled some excuse and darted off. “Well at least someone here is working.” Mr. Moon gibed exasperatedly and walked off buried in his clipboard (as though he wasn’t going to text Eddie for details later). Eddie and Johnny shared a brief look of concern after Meena ran off. Johnny got up and made like his was going to follow her, but stopped when he heard Ash’s phone go off. “Al'right, let’s see what got-” Ash cut her self off and stared at her screen in shock. She quickly recovered and her demeanor changed to unimpressed. “Well that’s disappointing. First guy on her matches and he’s a total dork!” She shook her head a bit and turned her phone slightly for Eddie to see. Eddie’s eyes widen and he cracked-up, covering his mouth to try and control his laugher. “Oi, don’t'cha think yar bein’ a bit harsh?” Johnny said as he approached them, confused by how uncharacteristically cruel the other two were being. Ash gave Johnny a deadpan look over her phone. “Nope.” She stated before turning her phone around for Johnny to see. Before his mind could register what he was looking at, he heard Eddie chuckled out “No wonder he recognized it was a dating app.” Johnny’s face dropped when his eyes landed on a familiar selfie he had taken months ago. He stared wide-eyed at his account for a couple seconds before looking up at Ash. The porcupine’s straight face couldn’t hold and broke down into a shit eating grin. Before Johnny could think of anything to say, she turned her phone back around and took a screenshot. “'Ey! Delete that!” The gorilla made a grab for the phone. Ash clutched it to her chest and turned away from him, still smiling. “Relax. Everyone’s had an account on one dating site or another. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” Eddie had recovered from his giggle fit and spoke in casual tone. “I’ve had a few and I know Ash has like five currently.” He added with a shrug. “That’s not the problem.” Johnny started. Ash’s eyes flashed up at him and her smile disappeared. “Is it that you’re embarrassed by being matched up with Meena or something?” Her question was more of an accusation and the look she was giving Johnny made it clear there was a wrong answer. Johnny quickly straightened up in frantic denial. “Wot? Nah, nah, of course not!” He somehow felt small under the porcupine’s glare. Eddie placed a hand of Ash’s should as a silent means of calming her a little. Her glare lessened, but she expression made it clear she was still expecting and explanation from Johnny. The gorilla rubbed the back of his neck uneasily. “I just don’t want ‘er seein’ it and then actin’ weird 'round me ya know? 'Specially wit how easily she gets flustered.” Johnny felt his face heating up as he continued. “I just… I donno. I don’t want things t’ be awkward between us, alwright?” He chanced a look at Ash, whose face had soften quiet a bit. “He’s got a point.” Eddie added. Ash gave a small nod of approval. “Okay, I won’t show her. Or tell her. She probably won’t ask anyway.” Ash rolled her eyes as she said the last part. “This stays between us three. Cool?” Judging from the relieved, lopsided smile Johnny was giving her, he was happy with that set up. Satisfied with Ash’s promise, Johnny turned and went off to some other part of the theater to work on whatever Moon had next for him. After he left, Eddie spoke up. “Aren’t you suppose to delete her account now?” “When I’m done looking at the result. I’m not done looking!” Ash shot back quickly and went back to scrolling through her phone. “Riiiiight.” Eddie smile and pulled out his phone. “You’re sending me that screenshot though, right?”

[luc4ri0]

So,in a stroke of good mood i decided to sit down and type some sort of year review/objectives for next year,just to have it documented here.

this year was definitely a wild ride,a year of some definite solid improvement in my mental health.

starting with a short but important “relationship” with a younger girl who set the train in motion.

for the first time someone was madly in love with me,i couldnt possibly compreend, after several failed attempts my whole life to win the heart of people i met throughout my life,i finally did it,i met someone amazing who felt so much affection for me that i actually didnt know how to respond,even though i had the intention to have a relationship in the first place.

that was an incredible experience,it felt like after so much suffering,the “rainbow after the storm” finally happened, i was in absolute bliss, she liked anime,she liked games,she was adorable,she was caring,she was lewd just like me,there was nothing to complain...

with that newfound strenght i set out to show my age by becoming a good example for her to follow,i did the best i could to make her understand how incredible she was,and how confused i was about her actually liking me.

i was roped by my mom to enter highschool again,after 3 years without going to school,in a newfound happiness that felt like the perfect oportunity,i was a 21 year old boy being looked at like i was amazing,so i started highschool again.

and it was incredible,i felt like i was regaining my lost teen years,i felt incredibly powerful,like the world was mine to do as i please...but as time went by,i felt scared,i regret giving up on that girl,but she was 16,and i panicked because i thought i could never live up to the expectations of her parents,specially after her father saw her giving me a goodbye kiss..

but in a way,she was incredibly infatuated,it was like each of us were fueling a really lonesome part of our personalities,we were both incredibly needy,and the more i fueled her neediness,the more she fueled mine.

but it didnt cancel it out,on the contrary,it just made things even harder,because now her dad had an incredibly wrong image of me,because he was very overprotective (also used to be a trucker,so that scared me)

dialing back a bit,i was surprised by how i actually managed to join a social group in my class on day one,and there was this really cute gay guy who i kept flirting back and forth for about a couple of months of school time.

it even led to a successful trip to his house for my first ever netflix and chill session,it was incredible,me,the shy guy who couldnt even say lewd words next to girls,suddenly managed to flirt my way into a netflix and chill session!

we watched lucifer,it was really good (although later on it started getting predictable),and he actually said he liked my body hair!? it was a really weird situation where the thing i hated the most about my body was called sexy by another person,we cuddled a lot,and he gave me a few kisses,but no tongue (later on he mentioned he wanted to kiss me more intensely)

with a few months passing by in school,there was a class president election,and suddenly i thought “i never once tried to do anything that actively tries to help a class i was in...maybe this could be fun for a change?”

so me and this cute guy who i had a nice time with (which didnt lead to anything more than just kisses that one time i might add) volunteered to it,he ended up winning and i got vice-president (because we were literally the only ones who volunteered)

i was a bit bummed out at first because i REALLY wanted to be class president,but at least i would be vice together with this cute boy i was getting super attached to.

but thats where things started to go downhill.

or at least thats where people SAY things went downhill.

around the time the election happened,i finally mustered up the courage to go back to therapy,after 3 or 4 years of wallowing in my own thoughts i did what i promised my best friend i would do,and started treatment,and god damn,was it a relief,i noticed instantly how much i missed having a therapist (as i had one for 3 years straight when i was growing up)

but as sessions went by,and i started touching more sensitive topics,my mood started to waver a lot according to the session

i started overthinking everything,as it usually is with analizing yourself in therapy

but that started getting the best of me,and thats when i finally started the oficial treatment with actual medication. and as youre probably aware of,starting to take anxiety/depression meds can do a lot of weird things on how you act

specially now that i was taking it for an indefinite time,as opposed to only taking it for a week once when i was very young

and,although i acted out of my best intentions,telling everybody in our class group in whatsapp about all the tests and posting pictures of each day’s material for people who couldnt come,somewhere along the way,people started getting annoyed with me,allegedly being “too pushy with the good responsible student act”

later on a weird occurance happened where a new classmate who’d just transfered accidentally posted a selfie to our whatsapp group (we had one for informative class stuff exclusively and another one for social chatting and doing basically whatever the fuck)

at the time,my phone was having a lot of charging problems,leaving my only option to charge its battery directly,meaning i had to charge my battery all afternoon with my phone turned off,and turning on my phone before leaving for school

so i turn on my phone as im one step away from leaving my house (and i didnt have a data plan,so i only had internet while i was at home),and see a simple selfie in the wrong group,with no comment added by anyone or an “oops wrong chat” message,just a message from two hours earlier with a selfie,so,as vice-president what do i do? i ask “why is there a selfie in this group?” because the only rule of the group was informative class stuff only,no memes or chatting.

thats literally it,word by word,what i said,so,after an honest question with simple curiosity,i leave home,not too worried,expecting that “she probably will say sorry and delete it,no big deal”,i arrive at the school and theres an uproar

the class president says hes having to deal with the mess ive made,and im completely confused,it was such a simple message that it didnt even cross my mind that it could be the reason,so there i am absolutely lost on what i couldve done (and if you struggle with anxiety you can guess i was in absolute panic)

so he shows me the chat log,and theres a huge wall of messages in the informative group talking shit about me,calling me names and complaining about how rude i was,and how i attacked the poor new classmate who just didnt know about the rules of the chat group

and there i am,more lost than i was before knowing the reason for the uproar,obviously feeling like shit because i had absolutely zero intention to hurt anyone,and honestly couldnt understand how i offended someone with literally one message

and mind you,the girl in question wasnt even offended,in one of the voice messages in the group she was laughing her ass off at the whole situation (so in a way there was a lot of white knighting from the class),but as i should,i go to the girl anyway and ask her if she was offended,and apologize for any misunderstandings

but like i said before,this was the start of the downfall,from that point on there were several classmates who set out their goal to hate my guts,one in particular looked at me with incredible hatred every time she passed by me,like,the type of person who you feel intimidated just by their stare alone

she would always be rude for no reason with me,talking shit about me at any given time she saw me in the vicinity (mind you,behind my back,but in clear sight,like i couldnt obviously hear)

and after some trouble trying to understand the whole situation and process why i was being hated by a bunch of people for not only something that wasnt offensive,but very strongly so

but i move on,more or less,time passes by and people end up not mentioning it anymore,but later on,as i had already burried the subject in the back of my mind,a class council happens and the teacher asks us to bring up anything troubling us that she could mention to each teacher,you know,normal school stuff

the teacher then asks if the whole selfie situation was handled and finished,because apparently some people went to the principal complain about me and the whole situation and it was archived as a problem

and some of the classmates that hated me bring up the whole argument again about how ignorant and rude i was,and god,i tried so hard to block out the situation in my memory,but my anxiety came waving back with full force

after that point the whole situation kept nagging me at the back of my mind,trying to compreend where i went wrong,and how what i said couldve possibly have been all that people were claiming it to be

and as months passed by,it started eating me up,and around the middle of the year (at winter break,which is the equivalent to the 2 weeks of summer break people get in the us,but our seasons switched) im looking at the chat group and something comes from deep bellow in my mind and comes out completely unfiltered

i post a photo of my school grades with the message,word by word: “post a photo of your grades so i can boost my ego”,as my grades were excellent and i was fed up with all the passive agressiveness half of the class was giving me.

granted,that was an incredibly dick move on my part,but i have this really bad habit where once im at my limit with someone talking shit about me for an absurdly stupid reason that makes no sense,i just sorta play into it,to “see if they like it if i really become the evil they so claim to see in me”

i could hide behind the fact that it is a coping mechanism to feel empowered for a short period of time,since i spent my entire life being abused mentally and physically by my mom,but honestly,it was just me having a breakdown

obviously the message caused a huge uproar and people were rightfuly mad this time around,but i just laughed it off,because they reacted exactly how i expected them to react,claiming having definite proof of how much of an arrogant asshole i am

but i was still having a breakdown nonetheless,so it didnt take long for me to feel incredible regret for fueling the exact opposite image of myself

and,right after we come back to school from that short 2 week break,im leaving school like normal and i overhear a conversation between the people who dont like me,saying “now hes gonna feel it,im want a certain someone to quit being the vice president” (obviously talking about me),and the other girl says “quit being vice class president? i want him to quit living”,literally right as im walking by them

and at that single moment when i heard those last words so many emotions passed through my mind in a flash,i wanted to explode,i wanted to yell,i wanted to cry,but i just passed by silently,and as soon as i got home,those words kept echoing in my head,ive never heard anyone say anything so mean to me before,ive always been everybody’s friend in every class ive been to,at the most ive had some annoying pricks trying to flex on me for not having a girlfriend or being a shut-in

and that fucking destroys me,it was on a friday too,so i had a whole 3 nights with that shaking around inside my head,so i set out for first thing on monday to complain about bullying,prepared to tell the whole story behind it and how unfair it was but then,something beats me to the punch...

im called to the supervisors office,she wants to talk to me,i can already guess the reason,the girls probably schemed to complain about me,but it was worse than i imagined,they actually shared around the class on that friday a petition to remove my position as the vice class president

and im absolutely distraught as i look at the list of names,there were so fucking many,granted my class doesnt even have that many students that attend to class regularly,so about 8 or more of the 15 or so students of my class that frequently go to school sign it

and there i am,i received an “impeachment”,de-throned,the person who did their very best to help everyone in the class with absolutely everything,claimed to be arrogant.

but moving on,the situation is solved,people set out to hate me,i go through the year like normal,talking mainly to my two friends in class.

and here i am,in my summer break,passing with flying colors and excellent grades

in fact,at no point i had to re-take a test,the only ones i did were because one teacher in particular forces everyone to re-take them

when finals came around,no matter what happened in them i would still be fine,i didnt even NEED the finals,thats how good my grades were

overall,this year had its ups and downs,but as my therapist described it,this year was really hard for me because this was the year i rose from the ashes like a phoenix,in the social sense,and im very proud,but that aint ending there!

next year i have at least 3 things i plan to do (aside from obviously getting my official highschool certificate): im going to do a profficiency test in english to make it official that i am fluent in english as my second language (which can be used for tons of things,specially making your curriculum fancier),im going to work all year arround to gather a ton of money with the intention to be ready to move out on my own by the end of next year (or the beginning of the next next year) and last but not least:

i will turn on fuck it mode,i will help 0 people in my class,i will do all essays and group projects alone,and my notebooks wont leave my posession a single time.

this year i did my fucking best to help absolutely everyone,even the people who hated me,to give everyone a chance to succeed this school year,and all i got back was being shafted by almost the entire class for no reason,so yea,if they really hate me so much,they will fucking miss how helpful i am next year

i want 2k19 to be MY year,i finally feel like im myself after so long,so i want to do stuff I WANT,this year i already got my first tattoo,next year im getting another,and i will use the money i earn to buy stuff exclusively for me,im not gonna help with bills of whatever,its my money and my mom cannot make me give it to her,and if she complains i will literally use my own money to buy a router that only i can use.

so yea,bring on 2019,im fucking ready to rumble!