#felt cringe for using my oc to tell it

[tabieeee]

What if large units were once regular ones? What if it was a choice to be rebuilt into a weapon at the cost of your old life?

What if that choice was made for you?

[katyaromanoffpetrova]

Trojan Horse (crime boss AU: part III)

Natasha gets sent on her most dangerous mission yet: go undercover in the drug operation of the biggest crime empress in the world and take her down. But as they grow closer, she starts to forget about the mission more and more...

• Natasha Romanoff x Fem!OC (Katya Petrova) second pov on Ao3 • Wordcount: 6.1k (no wonder it took so long to write lol) • Warnings: PLEASE READ: murder, torture (detailed), gore, blood, dead bodies • A/N: we finally get to see Katya as you expect her to be (the warnings give it away) Masterlist Do not repost my work as your own or translate my work!!

Something was wrong. 

Trouble. 

Hushed whispers, frequent meetings in Katya's office, weapons shipped out, girls secretly leaving the compound at night, armed to the teeth—signs that something serious was brewing.

It all started after that mysterious phone call Katya got, two days ago. Whatever news it delivered, it triggered all this ruckus. 

The air in the compound felt heavier. People were on edge, tense, waiting for something. Katya locked herself in her office. The girls from her inner circle pretended that nothing was wrong, but they moved differently. Stiffer. Conversations didn't flow.

Nobody said anything. The problem existed only in the shadows, hidden from anyone too oblivious to notice the shift in the atmosphere, the secrecy. 

But Natasha's eyes were always stuck to the shadows. 

She spent her nights lurking through the curtains of her small bedroom, making notes of everything in a small notebook she hid under the floorboards—the shipments going out, the people sneaking around—trying to piece together what was going on. 

With a business like this, the list of possible threats was endless. Ranging from anything like nosy cops to an all out gang war. 

Though Natasha doubted that Katya was this nervous about a couple cops, she was feeling increasingly restless herself, anxiety bubbling underneath her skin every waking moment. If she was in danger, she needed to know, and she wasn't used to being on the outside.

Lina, Aika, Salmah, Paola, and Ana—the woman Katya hooked up with a week ago—were people she kept a close eye on. They made multiple trips to the house, day and night, and barely interacted with anyone but each other. They were also Katya's longest serving and most loyal Ghosts. If anyone knew anything, it was them.

But straight up asking what was going on was not an option. Natasha had never spoken to them, and it's not like they would tell her anything to begin with. She hadn't earned the right to know secrets. She was just a rookie, someone insignificant until proven otherwise.

Her only option was to do what she did best; spy. Make herself invisible and come close enough to gather information the classic way, by using her ears and her eyes.

That wasn't easy in a place where everyone knew everyone. Where guards walked their rounds day and night, their eyes peeled for suspicious activity. Where even in the dark, every corner was well-lit and provided no cover.

It required a perfect balance of risk and patience. Something Natasha mastered through all her years of undercover work. But never had the stakes been so high.

On a dark, moonless night, three days after the phone call, Natasha first left the safety of her bedroom. The same things as in the past two nights had been happening outside; trucks pulling up, gear loaded in, women gathering around. She'd already written down everything she could see from a distance—which wasn't much—and so in order to know more, she needed to get closer.

Braiding her hair down her back and slipping on her jacket, Natasha snuck out of her room, armed with nothing but a knife hidden in her boot. The building was exceptionally silent, her footsteps bouncing off the white walls and orange tiles as she passed rows of bedrooms, filled with sleeping Ghosts. The outer door creaked when it opened. Natasha cringed, quickly shutting it and putting as much distance between it and herself as she could.

Her heart pounded in her ears as she rounded the back of the building. She was near the front of the property now, only a few rows of trees and bushes separating her from the tall fence and front gate. Slowly, she crept closer, pressed against the wall, leaning forward enough to see around the corner of the building.

The fountain, located in the dead center of the square, was blocked from Natasha's view by two cars. Black SUV's, tinted windows. Multiple women were busy loading them, communicating mostly silently by hand gestures and nods that Natasha couldn't decipher. 

From her point of view, she couldn't see what they were putting in the back of the cars. Too many legs were in her way, and the car was parked with its nose in her direction. She also couldn't make out if Katya was with them. A quick headcount gave her seven women, the darkness hiding most of their identities.

Natasha clenched her jaw in frustration, shifting her weight back to conceal herself again. This wasn't a helpful stakeout at all. Way too much risk, way too little results. She was going to need to find another spot.

A sharp branch of a bush nicked her neck when she crawled backwards. Cursing quietly, she straightened up as soon as she could, brushing dirt off her knees and hands as she quickly walked to the other side of the building, her eyes adjusting to the darkness. 

Having to relocate was a bad idea. If she were any smarter, she would have called her plan off. Her new spot lacked cover, and was twice as bright as her previous one had been. 

Instead of some bushes, she was now standing between the building that housed the sleeping quarters, and another building. Dressed in all black like she was, her figure showed up against the white walls around her like an ink blot on paper.

But curiosity and anxiety gnawed at her chest. This was too good of an opportunity to let slide. So, she pressed her back to the wall and shuffled to the edge, gravel grinding beneath her boots.

In the time it took her to move, nothing significant changed in the square. She still counted seven women, surrounding two cars. But the backs of the vehicles were now pointed in her direction, the trunk doors open wide.

Squinting through the faint light, Natasha tried to make out the shapes and boxes in the back. They weren't unlike the boxes they loaded in the past two nights. Hard shell, black, standard. Probably weapons. She couldn't be sure without reading the letters on top. 

Next to the boxes were large duffel bags that could be holding anything. Clothes, money, drugs. She couldn't rule anything out with Katya. The woman had her toes dipped in so many different types of crime.

Then there were more things scattered around, but it was too dark to make out what they were. Probably more war related things. Tech, maybe. The Ghosts kept blocking Natasha's view, their voices too soft to make out any actual words, the surroundings too dark to read lips.

Time continued to tick away. This wasn't the high risk, high reward night Natasha was hoping for. So far, she'd gotten no rewards, and taken too much risk. If only she had some of SHIELD's tech at hand. A listening device or a GPS tracker that she could stick to one of the cars.

Just as she contemplated her next move, a boom of thunder sounded behind her. 

Natasha flew backwards, but she was too late. The sound had drawn the attention of the women in the square, turning their heads in its direction—Natasha's direction—before the redhead could hide.

"Hey!"

Natasha had to make a split second decision. She couldn't be sure if they saw her face, and she didn't know how they'd react to her presence here, but she decided to take a chance. She was desperate for information, and had hit a dead end by just watching from a distance.

When she stepped out of her hiding spot, one of the women from the group, Paola, was already stalking towards her with big steps. Her scowl made even Natasha falter in her plans. For a moment, she felt like a kid who got caught pushing over their little sister. 

When faced with these situations, Natasha did what she did best; act innocent and small. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be nosy, but I heard noise, and—"

''What are you doing here?'' Paola demanded, one of her hands pressing against the machine gun at her hip. She was tough, firm, one of those people allergic to bullshit. Her eyes bore into Natasha.

''I couldn't sleep, I– I just wanted to go for a walk to clear my head," Natasha stammered through her words.

''You seem to go on night walks a lot.''

Natasha glanced at the floor, making herself look small. She shifted in her spot. ''I have a hard time sleeping. Every time I close my eyes, I'm back in that truck.'' She clenched her fingers into fists. ''It's—''

''Paola, give her a break." 

That calm, controlled voice… 

Tension fell off Natasha's shoulders. She looked up, Paola glanced over her shoulder. Katya emerged from the dark, her fingers wrapped around the gun holster around her chest. 

It was the first time in three days that Natasha saw her, and she looked nothing like she expected. Katya's relaxed posture didn't reflect the nervous activity in the compound at all, as if she wasn't worried, but her outfit signaled that something was indeed going on. 

She'd traded her heels for flat boots, her silk blouse for a simple t-shirt, and her hair was pulled back into a ponytail. Functional. A simple handgun sat snuggled against her left breast, held in place by the holster. She may look in control, but she expected trouble, or a fight.

Natasha swallowed harshly as Katya's eyes found hers. Under her gaze, she felt exposed, strangely vulnerable. While she stood here as Nadia, she couldn't help but feel like Katya saw Natasha instead. It scared her less than it should.

"The transition isn't easy, but you seem to be handling it well," Katya complimented, tilting her head as she studied the redhead before her. Natasha grew slightly uneasy. That look usually meant people had plans for her. "Why don't you come with us tonight?''

Natasha's eyes widened. Part of her surprise wasn't faked, and neither was Paola's. ''What?''

A flicker of amusement flashed across Katya's face. ''I'm going out to handle a problem in one of the warehouses. You should see what it is that we really do.''

Just like that. Paola's expression turned sour. Natasha didn't blame her. She acted weird and suspicious, and Katya basically handed her a promotion.

''Okay,'' Natasha agreed, taken aback. This was working out way better than she could have planned it herself.

Katya gave a satisfied nod. She looked over her shoulder, calling out a name. ''Marta.'' A stern-looking, tan woman with a short, dark ponytail stepped over to her boss. ''Nadia is coming with us. She's your responsibility tonight. Get her ready.''

''Yes, ma'am.'' Marta nodded. She beckoned Natasha to follow her, and the redhead politely pushed past Katya. 

The back of the truck was full of weapons and gear, exactly like Natasha thought. All neatly organized, locked in black boxes and secured onto the wall. It was the first time she got a glimpse of Katya's arsenal, and she let her eyes travel over everything as Marta gathered some stuff together, cataloguing it, calculating numbers.

Machine guns, shotguns, sniper rifles, grenades, knives, night vision goggles, helmets, bulletproof vests…the list went on. An impressive range. Intimidating, and undoubtedly only a fragment of the whole collection. Enough to take out a village.

Marta helped her into a bulletproof vest—like Natasha couldn't put one on in her sleep—and then equipped her with the same machine gun Paola had on her. She gave no instructions on how to use it, but shoved an extra magazine into the back pocket of her jeans. 

"So, what am I supposed to do?'' Natasha asked. 

Marta slammed the trunk door shut and turned to her with an expression so severe that Natasha truly felt like a clueless rookie. ''Our objective is to keep the boss safe. You stay with her, at all times. Shoot back at anything that shoots at us. Understood?"

Natasha nodded. "I understand." Keeping Katya alive was also high on her own, secret to do list.

"Good. Keep your eyes up, stay sharp. Danger can linger anywhere."

Everyone seemed to be ready. Bulletproof vests were on, guns were loaded. There were nine of them in total, now. Natasha wasn't sure where they were going or what they were going to do—only that it involved a warehouse of some sort—but nine people were not enough to fight a gang war.

She had a feeling that these eight Ghosts mostly served as protection. Protection in a place where things could go sideways in the blink of an eye.

"Let's move!" Katya called out. Everyone filed into the cars, engines starting up.

"You're in the back," Marta ordered.

Natasha nodded, turning to the backseat, and stiffening when she saw who was already in there. 

No time to hesitate. She climbed in beside Katya, sandwiching her between herself and a woman named Gianna, and shut the door.

The SUV looked spacy from the outside, but the backseat of any car would always be cramped with three people on it. Katya's thigh pressed against Natasha's, sending tingles through her leg where their bodies touched each other. Natasha shifted as far away as possible, her hip digging into the door as the car began to move. The right side of her body burned.

They drove through the gate and into the dark woods—the first time Natasha left the compound in a little under three weeks. It's when every tree started to look like a threat that she realized how safe she'd felt inside those gates. With the security it had, she'd only had to worry about the threats inside the walls, and those were incredibly low so far.

She didn't ask where they were going. Marta sat in the front, stoically staring through the windshield, and Katya had pulled out a tablet, reading through things Natasha couldn't make out. The car was too shaky and the text too small. 

The forest was so disorienting that she had no idea how long they had been driving for when they pulled up to another guarded gate. Two heavily armed women walked up to the car, doing a quick scan before letting them pass. Behind the gates seemed to be nothing but more darkness, but Natasha made out the faint shape of a building.

She tried not to show how on edge she was. This outpost, or whatever it was, was in none of the files. New territory she hadn't prepared for. Aerial pictures she hadn't studied. She went in blind.

The cars stopped. Everyone filed out of them, and then someone finally turned on some lights. 

A helicopter.

So that's how Katya could be places so quickly. Natasha understood why nobody had ever seen this place on satellite imaging. The trees were still huddled together here, the roof of the hangar hidden underneath the blanket of leaves. There was only a gap wide enough to fit the helicopter, and nothing more. 

The vehicle itself was military grade. Long, dark grey, and held space for twenty people in the back. Or twenty crates of drugs.

Natasha followed the others inside, unsure if she was supposed to stay at Katya's side, but a spot was left open for her, so she took it as a sign to do so. They strapped in and rose into the air a minute later, filling Natasha's ears with nothing but the sound of the engine and the blades circling around above her head. 

Katya's perfume burned in her nose, the glow of her tablet illuminating her face as she read and tapped and swiped on it. Natasha wanted to ask her where they were going, but something stopped her from doing so. She had to trust her not to lead them into a situation too dangerous. The woman was too smart to do so.

They flew for a while. Natasha's guess was around fifteen minutes, maybe twenty. She tried to recall a map of the area, but without knowing which direction they went, the possibilities were useless. Eventually, they lowered to the ground, and she stuck to Katya's side when the door slid open.

The helicopter had landed in a field in the middle of nowhere. Three cars waited for them a short distance away, same make and model as the SUV's they left behind earlier. Each one had two women flanking it, their hands wrapped around some serious looking machine guns. Ghosts.

Katya didn't hesitate to approach. One woman peeled away from the other five and met her halfway, their hands meeting in a formal greeting. Katya's eyebrows pulled together with sorrow as she addressed her. "I'm sorry for your loss."

The woman bowed her head. "Me too."

The interaction only fueled Natasha's confusion. She went wherever Katya went, so she ended up beside her in the back of an SUV again, looking out the window as they drove off the field and started down a road. 

Pretty soon, the first buildings showed up, and Natasha finally knew where they were; the large city—a metropolis—that bordered the forest which housed Katya's compound, sixty-two miles away. 

It was known for its poor communities that formed a ring around the rich city center. The slums were dirty, dangerous, but twenty-five percent of all inhabitants of this city lived in it. It was breeding grounds for crime, drugs, and gangs. 

At least it used to be.

"I have warehouses in places like this all over." Katya's voice startled Natasha. She hadn't spoken or acknowledged her for an hour, but now Katya looked straight at her as she started explaining. "Fragile, poor communities with no prospects. I sweep in, clear their streets of petty crime, provide them with basic necessities like clean water, electricity, jobs and good education."

"In exchange for?" Natasha asked.

A cunning smile tugged on Katya's lips, difficult to see in the darkness. "Money, of course. Rent, and protection." 

Natasha hummed in acknowledgment. The scenes outside the car weren't new to her. She'd been in slums like this before. Colorful but small houses, made of plastic, wood, and poor pieces of metal, huddled together and stacked on top of each other on the hill side. Trash was everywhere, holes so deep in the road that it would break any car's suspension. 

She hated the atmosphere in these places the most. Despair and hopelessness with an underlying tension.

"About eighty percent of the adults in these areas are dependent on some sort of substance. Tobacco, alcohol, cannabis, heroin, cocaine, you name it," Katya continued, her eyes skimming the dark street outside. Everyone ducked away when they saw the cars coming, eyes watching them pass from behind dark windows and tight alleys. "I monopolize all of it; take over the businesses and dealers so only my product is available. At a good price, of course." 

Natasha didn't have to look over to see the smirk on her face. It was a cruel business. Katya preyed on people's weaknesses and left them no choice. They had to buy her products, or they had nothing. They had to pay rent, or she'd kick them out of their houses. 

And, undoubtedly, if the whole neighborhood resisted her rule, she would take away the things she'd given the community, leaving space for crime again. 

As long as they did what she said, there was peace; she protected them, she provided for them. 

"Do they ever resist?"

"Sometimes. Usually, the normal folk are so eager for better living conditions that they gladly trade one evil for another." Natasha looked at her. It was the first time Katya had called herself evil. Did she agree, or did she simply echo what others called her? "But the local gangs like to struggle."

Something dark passed over Katya's features. The temperature in the car seemed to lower, a cold shiver running down Natasha's spine.

"They're dumb idiots, protecting their territory and their honor, or some shit. Giving up their power, especially to a woman, is the last thing they want to do." Katya's voice had a bite to it. "But they're not too stupid to see that they can't win. Men act tough, but the moment they look death in the eye, they cower back fast."

Natasha could only agree with her there. "And then they stay down?"

"Usually. Sometimes, they try to retaliate. Nothing serious. Small groups that we easily put back in line." Katya paused, her eyebrows knotting together. "But in this area, gang activity is still strong. I tried to root them all out, but they went underground, scheming. Three days ago, they tried to raid the warehouse. We held, but a few containers with products were set on fire."

The call she received.

"Two hours ago, they tried again." She clenched her jaw, visibly upset. Natasha had only ever seen her confident and strong, but a sadness burned in her eyes. "We lost three of our own. A few others are badly hurt. They said there must have been over thirty men. Only ten of my people guard the warehouse at all times"

Natasha may not agree with this lifestyle, with the crime and the violence, but she would never be able to turn her feelings off over dead people. "I'm so sorry," she muttered, once again surprised by how much Katya cared about her employees. 

In the grand scheme of her operation, three people was nothing. She had hundreds ready to replace them. Even the products in that warehouse couldn't matter too much. What was a million dollars on a billion?

But a fierce anger replaced Katya's sorrow. "They made a really, really big mistake," she growled. "I'm gonna hunt every last one of them down and break all their fingers before putting them in the ground."

Natasha's heart skipped a beat. 

From the outside, the warehouse looked calm. No activity, no big red lights or blaring alarms. The gate was open, and the three cars pulled up right to the building. 

Only when Natasha got out, and the large roll-up door opened, pouring light from inside the warehouse to the small driveway in the front, did she start to see signs of carnage. Blood stained the concrete beneath her boots, shell casings lying all around. Barrels had fallen over in the corner.

As Natasha followed Katya inside, things only got worse. Large pools of blood glistened underneath the fluorescents, blood splatters covered every surface; crates, barrels, boxes, walls. Things had fallen over, thrown around and blown apart. A suspicious looking substance slowly poured out of one of the crates, white dust piling up on the floor. 

It's like a tornado raged through the building.

Multiple Ghosts were on the floor, either sitting or lying down, with bandages covering different parts of their bodies. The only person not wearing black—a woman in her early fifties—tended to their injuries, her hands stained with blood. Probably a doctor from the hospital nearby, bought with drugs money. She was busy sewing a bullet wound shut on one of the Ghost's legs.

Katya went straight for them, asking the doctor for the details on all the injuries. Everyone would be fine—only two were transferred to the hospital by ambulance—but it was clear that most of these women wouldn't be working for a few weeks.

Katya put on a strong front as she stopped by every single one of her employees that was hurt in the attack. She spoke to them, calmed them down, and gave them her condolences on the loss of their colleagues. They looked glad to see her, giving her sad smiles that she mirrored with one of her own.

When she'd talked to all of them, she could no longer ignore the three dark blue pieces of tarp on the floor in the back of the room. Pain crossed her face as she crouched by the first one, slowly pulling the plastic back to reveal a young blonde woman with pale, grey skin. Someone had closed her eyes, but that didn't make it any better. 

Natasha watched with a mix of interest and sadness how Katya placed her hand on the woman's head and closed her eyes, muttering something under her breath before opening them again. She looked at the lifeless face a moment longer before sliding the tarp back in place. Then she stood and repeated the same process with the other two bodies, like a ritual.

Natasha felt like she was intruding on something, but she couldn't look away. The gesture was so gentle, so human, and she saw that these deaths truly touched Katya, the untouchable woman. 

"Marta," Katya looked straight at the woman who had been next to Natasha the entire time. "Get a few people to put these women into a truck. They'll be given a proper burial at home."

"Yes, ma'am."

Katya waited until she was gone to turn to the woman whose hand she shook in the abandoned field. "Where are the others?" Her voice had that angry edge again.

"Around back. Eleven bodies." Those must be the gang members these Ghosts had managed to kill before the rest of them fled. Not bad.

"Dump them in the river," Katya ordered coldly. Natasha's stomach flipped around. The other woman didn't flinch or hesitate, so this must be business as usual for them. 

"We kept one of them alive for you. He's in the back."

Katya's tense expression lightened up like someone had just given her the best news ever. A predatory, hungry look filled her eyes. "Nice work." The woman walked off, leaving just Natasha and Paola. "You two are with me."

A metal door led them to a smaller room in the back of the warehouse. It looked like a break room of sorts, with chairs and a few tables that were now pushed to the side to make room for a single chair in the middle of the space. Two Ghosts kept watch over the bloody, broken man tied to the piece of furniture, rope digging into his wrists from where they were secured to the armrests.

"Has he said anything?" Katya asked them.

"Not a word."

Malice flashed across her face as she stepped up to the man. Controlled, slow, radiating the confidence Natasha had gotten used to. If she were him, she'd have peed her pants, but he didn't even look up when her boots stopped right before his chair. 

"Eleven of your buddies are being tossed into the river as we speak. Don't get your hopes up—you will follow them, whether that's in one part or in little pieces."

The man scowled at her, blood dripping down his face and neck, staining his black shirt and pants, but he didn't speak. Katya slipped her hands into the pockets of her pants, pulling her shoulders back.

"Unfortunately for you, I'm not a very patient person. I'm used to getting what I want, so I'm only giving you one chance to come clean." 

She slowly started to circle his chair, like a predator would its prey. He tried not to show his unease, but he stiffened in his seat when she passed behind him.

Katya bent forward when she stood in front of him again, pressing him back into the seat with her aura alone. Her eyes were cold, unforgiving, as she demanded calmly; "I want names. All of them."

For a long moment, they stared at each other, the man squinting through his swollen eye. He wore an expression of pure loathing and hatred, and if he wasn't tied tightly to the chair, he probably would have lunged at her. Natasha kept her hand securely on her gun.

She knew this man wasn't going to speak without some encouragement. He was too proud to concede, too loyal, even after being beaten to a pulp.

Without warning, he bent his head and spat at Katya's feet. A thick splatter of saliva and blood landed on her boot.

Before Natasha could react, Katya backhanded him across the face. So hard that he fell over, chair and all. A strangled cry fell from his lips, more blood pouring out of his nose. With a wave of her fingers, Katya signaled the girls to put him upright.

"Enough," she said harshly, leaning over him again, her face only inches from his. She reached into her belt and pulled out a knife. "No more playing nice. I want names, now."

Adrenaline pulsed through Natasha's veins. She would never admit that she was enjoying this, but she was.

The man's chest heaved. From pain, from being slapped around, from anger. Blood stained his lips as he opened them to speak. "Fuck you."

A bone chilling scream rang through the air. Natasha's eyes widened. The man's pointer finger, previously snugly attached to his hand, now lay on the floor by his feet. Katya's expression hadn't changed.

"Let's try that again."

This. This was the Katya that Natasha had expected from the beginning. Merciless, violent, cruel.

She should feel disgusted, shouldn't she? Repulsion? Katya had just cut off a man's finger without blinking twice. An action that was far from humane. And Natasha didn't doubt that she would go—and had gone—so much further than that.

But the reality was; Natasha wasn't the purest either. Her hands were stained too. Was she honestly in any position to judge? Were her own actions justifiable, just because she did it with the right intentions? Because she worked for the "right" side. In Katya's eyes, she worked for the right side too. 

It was all a matter of perspective. And as Natasha watched the scene before her, she came to the realization that she felt something way stronger than aversion; a twisted form of admiration. Again. Katya crossed all the lines to protect her business and avenge the people she cared about.

Natasha couldn't look away. She told herself that it was to keep her cover intact, but the truth was; Katya captivated her. She was, by far, the most intricate, fascinating person she'd ever met.

The man thrashed in his chair, struggling against the ropes to get free. Blood dripped from his hand, down the armrest, onto the floor. He wanted to kill Katya, but he could only sit and drown in his pain. 

"Names," she demanded. 

The only thing that came from his mouth were muffled cries of agony. He wasn't focused on her, only the pain radiating up his arm.

With a sigh, Katya switched the knife from one hand to the other. He didn't have time to protest before the knife slashed through his other pointer finger, the bone cracking satisfyingly.

He screamed out, blood gushing from the stump. Suddenly, he could speak, profanities in a thousand languages flying off his tongue. He trashed harder, reminding Natasha of a leashed feral dog that had its prey in sight. 

Pain had taken over his brain, taking away the rational part of him. All he saw was red while his face turned more and more pale. Katya took a step back, letting him rage for a while. When she stroked the blood off her knife, Natasha noticed her hands were steady as ever.

"Someone get something to write the names down," she said. Nobody questioned her. She waited until he had calmed down to approach him again. His body was slumped, sweat shining on his forehead, only half aware of reality.

Katya didn't place her knife on a finger this time. Instead, she stood behind him, her free hand grabbing onto his hair to keep his head still, while the other placed the knife on the skin where his ear was attached to his head. 

She pushed down only an eighth of an inch from the top, but the searing pain was enough to shock him back to reality. He cried out again, his blurry eyes focusing. "Stop! Stop!" 

Katya didn't stop. "Start calling out names, and maybe you'll be fast enough to spare your ear."

Natasha realized her heart was pounding in her ears when she had trouble hearing the first names he called out. Paola dotted them down rapidly, but Natasha couldn't be of any help. She couldn't look away from the psychotic calmness that was Katya as she sliced the man's ear off.

He wasn't done naming his crewmembers when his ear fell onto the floor, so Katya moved onto the other as motivation. In some miracle, he didn't pass out. Every inch of his skin was covered in blood. A puddle had collected underneath his chair by the time the second ear joined the first.

"That's all! I don't know any more! I swear!" He begged, his body shaking with weak sobs.

Katya believed him, or she figured that fourteen names was enough. She let his head go, and it slumped forwards onto his chest. She buzzed with energy when she rounded the chair, pulling her gun from her holster. He didn't see her point it at his head and click a bullet into place. 

"I'll tell your friends you said hi."

The gunshot rang out. His head snapped back, the life draining from his eyes until they were nothing but empty voids. He'd served his purpose.

The silence that followed was overwhelming. Nobody spoke as Katya holstered her weapon, stunned by what had happened. They all just stared at the body, the drops of blood falling onto the floor.

Natasha's thoughts went in a million different directions. Part of her brain analyzed the situation from a SHIELD agent's perspective. She'd witnessed Katya torture and murder a man; the evidence they needed to pin her down. She could add a whole list of characteristics to Katya's SHIELD file from just her behavior today.

And then there was the part of her brain that couldn't think about missions and government agencies right now. What she'd just witnessed was too real. It wasn't a game. Her whole body was alight with adrenaline. And for the first time, there was a flicker of doubt. She pushed it away before she could name it.

"Nadia. What are we going to do with the body?"

She startled out of her thoughts. Katya stared at her, expectantly, curiously. She was gauging Natasha's reaction to what she'd just seen. It was test.

Natasha wrecked her brain for everything she knew about gang wars. There were no rules. Cruelty was expected, not an exception. Nobody was spared, and fear was used as a weapon. The most inhumane murders she'd seen were at the hands of gangs. Slit throats, cut off hands and heads, carved up torsos and backs. They worked as an example.

An example. 

"Leave him in the street for all to see."

Approval glistened in Katya's hungry eyes. "Where?" She asked eagerly.

Natasha's heart beat out of her chest. Not from nerves. From the thrill. She felt sick with herself. 

"Isn't it a Sunday tomorrow?"

The body wiggled back and forth in the back of the pickup truck as Paola drove through the tight streets. The cool, midnight air blew over Natasha's warm skin as she pressed a foot to the covered body to keep it still. She felt sweaty, and a little uneasy to be dragging a maimed corpse around, but Katya loved her idea. So here they were.

She felt people's eyes on them as they passed dark houses. Their destination wasn't far, but danger lurked everywhere in these parts. Natasha was glad to see the building Katya described emerge in the truck's headlights. 

Unlike the houses, it was made of brick, and twice as high. Yellow, with a painted cross on the front. People were very religious here. Sunday morning church visits were almost mandatory, and attended by people of all kinds. 

It wasn't Natasha's intention to stain anything sacred. She just needed the busiest place in the neighborhood to make the most out of this statement of hers. It just so happened to be the church.

Paola stopped the truck and helped Natasha pull out the body. There was a stone bench right in front of the building. They rolled the man out of the tarp and propped him up against it, adjusting his hair and hands so it was obvious what was done to him. Then, Paola pulled out a rose and dropped it in his lap.

Everyone would know who did this. Let it be a warning for people who had delusional dreams of overthrowing the woman who ruled these streets.

"Let's go," Paola said. Natasha didn't protest. She was tired, and the night was far from over. They had the whole journey back to the compound to go. 

She climbed into the front of the truck and let Paola drive, her heart calming the further they got from the church. If she ever made it out of this, she had one hell of a story to tell Clint.

[quietplace26]

"Maybe he commissions them to sing for a play that he's having been done to increase Fontaine's morale? (Perhaps not realizing they're a tiny lil Earthling) Perhaps he even has to save the little songbird from unsavory folks when she's trying to head back to the Earthling regions too >:3" - @arn9tails

Because of me having issues trying to figure out to do a Streamer!MC x Neuvillette prompt without copying and pasting my Zhongli post because I'm blank on ideas, I decided it would be easier if I just typed out a scene based off arn9tails brilliant suggestion right above.

Warnings: OCness, some treats of violence towards MC, creep calls MC a pet in a derogative way, cringe.

Once again this is based off this post from arn9tails.

(Streamer!MC's dress is either this, this, or this.)

...MC sighs tiredly as she walks outside the Opera Epiclese, letting the cool night air cool her heated cheeks, and smiles tiredly.

To think, after putting both Genshin Impact and her Twitch life behind her once Teyvat magically spawned in her world and focusing more on her schooling it would lead to her somehow being noticed by not only her favorite city, but also her favorite characters…

And be invited to go to Fontaine to preform, oh it felt almost like a dream!

The event she had been invited to sing in went shockingly well as all of Fontaine seemed to be pleased by her performances tonight.

Perched on a specially made platform on the stage and given a small microphone made just her size that the FRI (Fontaine Reasearch Insitute) put together via Furina's request, she had everyone's eyes tonight.

It was actually... very scary, to be honest. Everyone was so BIG compared to her... but thankfully, she gets through her stage fright when she sees Furina give her the thumbs up before seeing the former Hydro Archon slap Neuvillette's shoulder and motion towards MC, hissing something to the Ludex.

Neuvillette, bless his soul, also gives MC the thumbs up and a tiny smile. And just like that, MC felt a sense of bravery go through her... so she sang.

For the rest of the show, she sang more confidently, her voice echoing around the Opera's walls and keeping everyone's attention as she danced around the platform, singing her heart out.

Furina AND Neuvillette even joined you on stage at one point. ...Or well, more like Furina drags Neuvillette on stage with her.

And with that, the show continues with Furina doing a duet with MC, and Neuvillette being MC's 'dance partner'.

(Imagine MC holding onto one of Neuvlliette's fingers and letting him twirl her like they were ballroom dancing, even letting him dip her using ONE hand as one hand practically swallows her small form. And while he did this, MC tips her head back, eyes closed as she sings into her microphone.)

MC slaps her reddening cheeks lightly, trying to force down the blush threatening to take over. No, no, bad MC, bad! You can't have a crush on the Hydro Sovereign! It's one thing to have a crush on when he was just a video game character, but when he was real-

She sighs again, shaking her head, and turns to head back inside before her Melusine guards noticed she ventured away without telling them.

Only... that doesn't happen.

Before she could even take a step back inside, large rough hands snatch her violently off the ground, causing her to cry out in terror, but is silence when the hands squeeze in warning as a harsh voice hisses, "Stop moving, pet."

Her assailant turned out to be some Fontainian Noble. One who was apparently charmed by MC and sought to have the Earthling as his new pet.

MC panics at that, she didn't think the rumors were actually true! That some Teyvatians were actually making earthlings pets! No, no, no-

Terrified, she tries desperately to squirm free, only to whimper in pain as the noble squeezes harder and begins to walk away from Opera Epiclese.

And everything was only made worse as the noble held her small form up to his sleazy face and makes some rather... crude, comments about her. Calling her pretty and some other more uncomfortable things.

MC was crying at that point, thinking this was it, she was going to be a pet to this pervert!

Or at least that's what she thought.

"Put. Her. Down."

The noble freezes in place. Slowly he turns and looks up to see the large figure of the Hydro Sovereign glaring down eerily. His mouth was pulled back into a snarl, sharp, draconic teeth flashing to view.

This view alone makes the Noble yelp in fear... and he drops MC, who immediately screams and clenches her eyes close, waiting for pain.

But pain never happens, as the sound of swirling water fills the air, and large, much more gentle hands was suddenly cradle her gently.

It was Neuvillette.

He carefully cradles MC's tiny, trembling form to his chest as she cried in relief, saying she was so scared. Her small hands dig into his robe as she hides her face in his clothing, quickly soaking it with her tears.

"M-monsieur Neuvillette! I-I, he- he tried to-"

And that alone would not do at all.

Neuvillette slowly turns to the now cowering creep in an eerie, predatory manner. Showing all at once how inhuman he truly was as the water around them became violent... and it began to storm.

"You foolish human." Neuvillette growls out, the rain coming down violently. It wasn't a rainstorm of sadness. No... it was one of pure rage.

The Hydro Sovereign would do what must be done... because no one touches a dragon's treasure and LIVES.

[matchaelette]

when jungkook is leaving and none of you know what to do with yourselves

summary: idol!jk and oc!ash (her name is ash, cz I couldn't think of anything else & Y/N makes me physically cringe), established relationship, jungkook is leaving for military enlistment and they are just spending the last moments together, jimin cameo ;)

genre: fluff, bit angsty, idol au

warnings: again, jungkook going through the whole enlistment procedure, suggestive, oc cries a lott but hey, everyone of us is crying

words: 3.5k

note: it had to be done. I needed to write about this. I'm not functioning straight and I wrote this in a mood where I felt very drained and emotionless so it might show up in the writing....? also, this is concerning-ly unedited. anyways enjoy, feedback is always appreciated <3

you've lost count of how many times you've cried this whole month.

ever since you could walk, talk, and form conscious thoughts, you've noticed that every feeling you've had and tried to express comes out as tears. yes, you're angry, oh my god mom, I wanna shake your shoulders and tell you to believe your daughter for once and not somebody else, but you're silent and you're crying; you've been memorizing every single thing for this presentation and you swear by your future first newborn baby that every word is engraved in your brain, just say the words, people don't care what you fucking say you just need to say something, but you're silent, your legs are shaking on the stage and you think you're crying; you love him, you love this human being staring at you from between your legs with all the love in this whole fucking universe, kind and whole and happy and real, jeon jungkook, you love him so fucking say it, but all you can do is caress his face and let the silent tears cascade down yours.

yes, ever since the beginning of time, all your emotions and feelings have been coming out as tears.

sometimes you think that spending all your teen years bottling up everything because of a mean father and an angry mother messed you up for good. all your life you've hated yourself for crying so easily, especially when in front of other people, feeling so weak and broken all the time. but you didn't think much anymore, at least not as much as you used to overthink when you were younger, scared of fellow high-schoolers, scared of what people think about you. after you've met jungkook, your sweet jungkook, he has shown you that crying doesn't necessarily mean you're weak. maybe you were just sensitive and that was alright, because you've always cried when you felt too much, made you more of a genuine human than everyone else. his words, not yours.

but it did feel good to hear and you didn't know what you've done to deserve it.

you also remember that every time you've hated yourself for crying, you always found solace in the fact that maybe someday it would all run out and you'd be perpetually free from all of it, the childish thoughts of a child.

however, even though you laughed at those thoughts every time you remembered them, you were now convinced of how wrong you were to think that maybe the tears would run out someday if you cried too much. because you've been crying continuously this month, more than you've cried your entire life, and by god, not only have the tears not dried out but also, it just keeps coming more and more if possible.

you choke out once again as you bury your face in jungkook's shoulder, clutching the front of his shirt as he tightens his grip around your waist. he looks at you helplessly, not knowing what to do anymore, because no amount of words or actions could stop you from crying. he knows he has tried it all.

you force yourself to get a grip, rubbing your face on jungkook's already wet shirt to dry your wet cheeks, and look up at the blurry distance in front of you, resting your cheeks against the place you've been hiding. jungkook stands there, one arm wrapped around you and one arm around his mother, with a little smile that keeps blooming at the sight in front of him seeing his jimin hyung hug and bid goodbye to his family, despite all the heartbreak in the air.

he tightens his grip around you and leans down to kiss his mother's head, who is in a state identical to you but still more graceful and elegant than you could ever be. "it's gonna be okay, you two", he whispers, causing his mother to gently smile and take your hands as you let out yet another sniff at his words. as sad and worried as she was at her son's departure, she couldn't help but feel worried for you too, her motherly nature reaching out towards you in a way you never felt from your own mother.

"I will be okay", she smiles at you in a teasing manner, despite her glassy eyes, "but the question is, will your girlfriend be okay?"

"h-hey!", your voice shook as an unintentional smile replaced the frown, "stop teasing me, maa", you whine.

"I am not teasing you, dear. honestly, come live with me for a few days. come to busan. I'll take care of you"

"if you keep saying that, I'll really turn into a parasite and stay in your house forever, maa"

jungkook giggles at your conversation, happy that the most important two women in his life got along so well. and you did, ever since the day you've met his mother. she loved you as her own daughter, as did his father, and made you feel so loved and comfortable that even your antisocial ass loved to spend time with them, making you visit them frequently, with and without jungkook by your side.

jungkook's mother lets go of her son and glides into her husband's arm, who looks at jungkook with pride. after all who wouldn't be proud of this talented, lovely, hardworking boy? jungkook was your boyfriend, and your best friend before your relationship upgraded into something more, and a lot of words came to your mind when you thought of him. but the first word has to be proud. proud that he became the man he is now, proud of who he was and every single version of him, how humble and kind and caring he is, always making everyone around him feel loved and respected. proud of how your friendship managed to stay so strong after all this time, proud how he is trying his best to get through these 18 months without any toll in your relationship.

jungkook hasn't shed a single tear yet, holding you through nights when you decided to be a mood killer, couldn't help thinking that soon he wouldn't be able to hold you like this. you were so far rooted in the future of the enlistment process that you forgot to live the present. you were a mess, shaking and sobbing ever so often, frustrated at hybe, frustrated at the whole lot of bts for taking a decision like this, frustrated at the south korean government, frustrated at jungkook for not being frustrated at how hysterical you've been acting.

jungkook, instead, has been a constant pillar of support. he has been constantly kissing your tears away, pushing his fears away of how you guys might not last through this calamity, reassuring you more than him that it will be alright. and as much as you wish he would express his own feelings instead of tending yours, you were glad that the boy didn't cry because it was all that was holding you back from getting onto your knees and begging him not to go. you couldn't do that to him, couldn’t do that to his happiness because you knew he would've obliged to your wishes, somehow, and break his own heart. he would do anything for you. he has been continuously proving that, after all.

"how is ash holding up?", jimin asks jungkook as he takes a sip of his soju, not feeling drunk enough despite the few bottles of alcohol he has drank. the point of the night was to spend time with each other, jungkook, him, and taehyung, getting wasted and having fun like old days. namjoon was supposed to join them as well, but he was overseas on schedule. taehyung, on the other hand, was already passed out on the couch, but it might have to do less with his low alcohol tolerance and more with his tiredness after landing in seoul from france just a few hours ago, after quite a hectic fashion week. so, it was jimin and jungkook now, them and their alcoholic asses against the whole world. after all, no one could hold their liquor like them in the whole group.

"she is, well, I honestly don’t know", jungkook frowned, a drop of soju ran down his lips to his black sweatshirt but he didn’t seem to notice, "she is totally ignoring that I have to leave and acting completely normal."

"sounds like her. isn't running from her problems her best coping mechanism?". you were close with all the members in the group, and the rest of them considered you as their little sister as well (even though taehyung jokingly called you noona sometimes) but if there was one member who knew the best, it had to be park jimin. he was your best friend after jungkook and the time you spent together, whether be it gossiping or shopping, was always something both of you found therapeutic and cherished from the bottom of your hearts.

a silent pain erupts in jungkook's heart as he finally voices out the thought he has been continuously having for the last few days, "hyung, should I break up with her?"

"yah jeon jungkook", jimin smacks the back of the younger boy's head, looking at him with shock, "are you that drunk already?"

"I don’t-", jungkook chokes out the next few words incoherently, and jimin had to physically shift closer to the boy to make sense of his words, "I don’t know what to do. I-I don’t know how to live without her. I want her all to myself and I selfishly want to ask her to wait for me. but how can I do that when she could have a much better life without me?"

"jungkookie-"

"she could fall in love with someone better than me. fuck, saying it out loud infuriates me but I know that she could be happier, way happier than I can ever make her. you see what I am doing? I am leaving the girl I love to protect my career, to make sure nobody has anything else left to guilt trap us with. I am doing all of this for myself. how selfish does that make me?"

"you keep forgetting that you don't have a choice, jungkookie."

"then why does it all feel like my fault?"

"what are we going to do?"

the words escape your lips without meaning to. they hang like a whisper in the air as your bodies slowly recover from the high they have been through, limbs tangled and eyes closed, forehead resting against each other.

"are we gonna be alright?"

yes, jungkook wants to say, yes because if you decide to stay, I will make it all work, I will make it all okay, I promise. but how can I ask you to stay when it will only hurt you?

"do you want to… maybe… break up?", his vacant voice makes your eyes fly open in bewilderment, not being able to believe that he actually said the words that he said. all this time both of you have been ignoring the pink elephant in the room, only almost two months left before jungkook left for the military enlistment along with namjoon, jimin, and taehyung. you’ve been trying to enjoy what little time both of you had despite your busy schedules, especially jungkook, who has been working tirelessly to make his fans feel a little less lonely when he won't be present anymore. something to hold on to while I am gone, I hope you can stay within this magic shop we've build together, memories of me would console you like the gentlest breeze of a fall evening, I will yet again patch something I haven’t broken.

but one of you had to be strong enough to address it, this overwhelming dread and the constant need to be with each other, ignoring sleep and every other basic need because you knew your time was coming to an end. you needed to address it and needed to be assured that both of you can get through this, your love was way stronger than these 18 months.

but that's the first thing he wants to say?

the way he looks at you breaks your heart. he has a small smile on his face and you can tell that it is genuine, that he is taking one last moment to cherish all of you if you decided to say yes. but there is almost an unbearing sadness behind his eyes, pained and tortured, begging you to say no.

your voice is almost comical when you actually find it, "jeon jungkook, do you want me to fucking kill you?"

and his immediate reaction is almost laughable. you could see his shoulders drop with relief. he buries his face in your neck and drops all of his weight on top of you, holding you in a way that immediately blocks out all the bad things and forces you to focus on him and him only.

you laugh, "you're quite heavy, babyboy"

"deal with it", comes out his muffled reply, as he forces you down on the soft mattress with his bare body, almost an attempt to bury you, and you choke out yet another laugh at his antics, tightening your legs around his waist and running your hands through his fluffy hair. I refuse to believe that it will all be gone soon.

"you haven't said anything. anything at all", he says quietly.

its sad that you know what he is talking about.

"I didn’t know what to say", you reply softly, careful that your voice doesn't shake. he doesn't need to see how you break every time you remember that he is going to leave, which you've been remembering an awful lot these days. no, you need to be strong, for him and for you. after all, you have already survived months away from each other, during tours and comebacks, thanks to both of your careers.

"we have survived before. it's not something new for us. we can do it again", you whisper against his jaw, gulping down the tears threatening to break free. only this time, it's 18 fucking months, and the unspoken words hang into the air.

"you didn't even shed a single tear", jungkook lifts his face and looks at you accusingly, knowing very well that you're a crybaby, "it keeps feeling like you don’t care."

your eyes widen at his words and it feels like a punch to your gut but you can’t say you're surprised. you have been acting indifferent to put up a strong front, and now that you look back, you may have overdone it from time to time. you were never a good actor.

you never understood why it always felt like this, every time you hide your problems from someone to not bother them, and always feel like a shipwreck when they actually fail to notice.

"jungkook, love", you trace his cheeks with your fingertips, his cute chubby cheeks, his lips, moving to his eyelids the moment he closes his eyes under your touch. you drag your fingertips through his scalp, waterfalls of his hair cascading down when you reach his nape, softly pulling his face closer to kiss the tip of his nose. jungkook, my love, how do I tell you that you mean the world to me and that I am not worried that our relationship isn't as strong enough to fight the course of time but I am sad and I am selfish and I don't know how to survive without feeling your presence for even a single day? how do I tell you that you never have to worry about me leaving but worry about me staying forever and suffocating you? I love you and I don't know what to do with myself, I love you and I don't know who I am without that love. what can I say to make it all better?

"babe, are you crying?"

no, you're not crying. you're sobbing.

"wait wait, I didn't actually ask you to cry—", you can see the panic in his eyes as he pulls both of your bodies up into a sitting position just using one of his hands while the other wipes your cheek off, you on his lap, your thighs straddling his waist, bare torsos flushed against each other. you feel him pulling you into a hug as if your bodies could get any closer than they already are. but instead of being comforted, you sob even louder.

"ash, sweetheart, please don't cry", jungkook wanted to punch himself, regretting the words he spoke earlier. what the hell was he thinking, saying that you didn't cry? he wanted to go back and kick his own ass at the stupidity. why the hell would he want you to cry of all things?

you on the other hand could do nothing except bury your face in your boyfriend's neck, and feel the entirety of him, his body, his scent, his hold on you, his voice so clear in your head, nothing but him until the time runs out. you have been so strong till now, haven't you?

"but you're leaving", he could see now, how much of an idiot he had been thinking that you didn’t care enough just because all you were doing was trying to be tough and get through without this exact moment happening. he could hear the desperation in your choked sobs, he could feel the sadness at his own dam threatening to break. he almost felt angry that after all this time, he was still stupid enough to not see through you.

"and I will be back sweetheart, you know I will be. and then there would be nothing standing between us anymore. nothing. for the rest of our lives", he promises as he lifts your tear-soaked face to look at his own. he looked pained, trying his best to be strong when you were falling apart right in his arms, but you could still see the hope behind his eyes because his promise was real and you knew it.

but once the waterworks begin, it just cannot stop.

there is nothing left to say now. it is time, you realize. the chilly breeze washes over you, and you realize that nothing can make you feel as cold as you will when jungkook gets in that car with jimin. your eyes find each other, mouths desperately looking for words to say, promises, comfort, but what can you say that hasn't already been said?

"I love you", you whisper.

"stay out of trouble, okay?", jungkook kisses your forehead and even with the unstoppable tears leaking out from your eyes, you can't help but shoot him a mischievous glance. you, the god of getting into trouble, staying out of trouble?

jungkook sighs, knowing you a bit too well. after spending years together, he knew well enough that you could never be forced to do something you didn't want to do. you were like a storm, passing through in a way that was your own, wrecking everything in the process. while he loved your bravery and carefree nature, he realized it comes with its consequences. for him, it was constantly worrying about you and never wrongfully so. so, he returns to his last resort to make sure that you will be okay, "do it for me."

"okay that is pure emotional blackma—"

you cannot finish your words because his lips are on yours in a second, abruptly plunging you down a rabbit hole because, god, after all this time you're still not used to it. he smells like fresh laundry and mint, moving carefully because he isn't sure that you will allow him to kiss you like this in front of half the people from his company, his parents, and god knows who else is in the base. but who are you push him away?

you drop all courtesy and kiss him back in a manner that is sure yet gentle, tongue brushing softly against his lips. jungkook obliges and parts his lips, breathe mingling and tongue dancing in harmony as you kiss him with all your might, letting all of him overwhelm all of you one last time.

you let go of each other, breathless yet eyes glued. you trace his face, from his eyes to his cheeks and nose, his shaved head, still as soft as silk under your touch. he kisses your fingers when they reach his lips, smiling gently to remind you that yes, he will be gone, and that will hurt as hell but then again, he will be back.

"go, jimin's waiting", you force out a smile, "and please, for the love of god, choose something normal to do, something that doesn't involve jumping out of an aircraft or—"

"I love you."

".....I know."

[fanfictiongirlie]

Chapter Thirty Two - Maybe He Would Burn to a Crisp

Click here for masterlist

Parings: Paul Lahote x OC (First person, no use of Y/N)

Description: Bella Swan's twin moved to Forks with her sister. Whilst Bella falls for a vampire, her twin falls for a wolf. The story runs parallel to Bella's story in Twilight. But following her twin and her life with the wolves.

AN: Bit of a filler chapter, but I still like it, hopefully you will <3

Chapter Thirty Two - Maybe He Would Burn to a Crisp

It was six o'clock in the evening in Florida when we knocked on the door to my mother's home. The Cullen's had given Bella four tickets to see Renee, one for her, Edward and surprisingly they had brought an extra two, for myself and Paul. 

Bella had begged me to go, and then I begged Paul. I felt awful, Paul struggled being around Edward, far more than I struggled being around him. I hated leaving dad all alone, but even if thought it was a good idea. 

Renee answered the door, her face lighting up with a grin when she saw the four of us standing at her doorstep. 

"Oh my god!" She squealed. "My babies!" She exclaimed, she leaped forward and pulled Bella into a tight hug. Naturally, Bella was Renee's favourite, I was dad's favourite. Not that they would ever admit to that, but I knew. I think Bella knew too.

Paul's hand was in mine, squeezing me tightly, not enough to hurt, but close. Truthfully the only way I managed to make him say yes to this weekend holiday was the promise of me in a bikini. And I just had to keep reminding him of that. 

Renee moved over and pulled me into a hug, swinging me slightly. 

"And these are the boyfriends?" She asks, I nod and pull Paul a little closer to me. 

"This is Paul" I say, Paul steps closer and lets go of my hand to hold out to Renee, I chuckled a little, knowing she would never shake a hand, she pulled Paul into a tight hug. 

"So you're the one who stole my daughter's heart?" She asks him, I cringe slightly at the words, I shouldn't of. But hearing a parent say that was cringe. 

"Seems it, don't worry mam, she has my heart completely also" Paul answers. Renee smiles at that and then turns to Edward, before she forces Edward into a hug, Bella says how he doesn't like being touched, I scoff slightly. Luckily no one notices as Renee shuffles us into their home. 

We settle for the evening, Bella and Edward chose to sit upstairs, whilst Paul and I sit on the backdoor porch with Renee and Phil, the evening air was cool and lovely, it was still warm, even though were was a slight chill in the air, but I sat with my legs up against Paul, so I was warm. 

-----------------

The next morning, Paul and I were up early, I dressed in the bathroom, changing into a simple black bikini, and cute summer dress over it. Paul opted for a simple pair of swim shorts and a black tank. 

And so we spent the day swimming in the water, or laying on the beach, it was glorious, and I tried to feel bad for Bella, who was mostly stuck in the house, staying with Edward, but I couldn't, she chose this life, and I wouldn't stop mine to worry about hers, no matter how much it hurt me. 

"This is lovely, I could get used to this" Paul mutters, we were laid out on a huge towel, soaking in the sun. 

"Hmm me too" I mumble back. "Hey, can you hear the wolves this far away?" 

"Nope, it's quiet" Paul says a little wistfully, I bet it was nice, having only your own thoughts in your head. 

"That must be nice"

"It's lovely, don't get me wrong, I love my brothers, and sister now, I guess" He adds, obviously about Leah. "But yeah, it's nice, just my own thoughts for once"

"We'll have to do this more often, when school ends, maybe travel the world?" I suggest, smiling. The sun was beating down onto us, I could tell my usual pale skin would tan ever so slightly, I looked forward to it, especially when we got back to Forks. 

-----------------

Later that evening, I sat with Bella and Renee, Paul opted for a nap, he definitely had too much sun, whilst Edward sat inside. The sun was still up, I wondered what would happen, maybe he would burn to a crisp?

I looked over to Renee and Bella, Renee had just given Bella a large quilt with all our old trip t-shirts, I watched for a moment, not feeling guilty. I had the closer relationship with our dad. Renee wasn't the parent I admired when I was younger, she was like a teenager sometimes, and I couldn't handle that. 

I listened for awhile, Renee actually liked Edward. I rolled my eyes a few times. 

"Oh don't worry dear, I like Paul too." She says with a goofy grin. "Edward and Bella have an intense love, you and Paul have a passionate love, you can see it, like you were made for one another" 

I smile softly, thinking about Paul. "I really love him" I say before I can stop myself. 

"Well, don't rush into a wedding, or children!" She says, her tone slightly joking. 

"Oh, I don't think either are for me" I admit. 

"Me neither" Bella says, though there was something about her tone that I didn't trust. 

Our trip finally came to an end, we said our goodbyes to Renee and Phil and left. Edward and Bella sat together on the plane, and Paul and I sat together, and we weren't sitting as a four, which was even better, so I spent my time, lying on Paul's chest, as we watched a little movie on the screen. 

"I really enjoyed that" I mumble. 

"Me too, sweetheart." Paul answers. "It was lovely to meet your mother"

"I'm glad you had a good time" I mumble, before I feel my eyes start to droop. 

Taglist:

@jaybbygrl, @strayteez3staner, @8crazy-freak8, @idontliketoread2137, @bonni-98 @wh0reforbucknasty @prvncessvibes @lostgirl219 @quinquinquincy

[romanoffsbish]

Don’t Worry, I’ve Got You

GN!OC (Rio) x F!R

Natasha Romanoff x F!R

Request | Natasha had planned to sweep you off your feet when she returned from her mission. But it seemed someone else had beat her to the punch… | WC: 5,144

Warning: Domestic Violence - Abusive OC | Mentions of Sexual Coercion | Petrified R | Violence - Blood - Gory OC Death | Happy Ending 😀

Smut: Somno (Consented)-Oral (R) | Tribbing | Overstimulation | Sweet/Soft | Mommy (N)

When Natasha exited the Quinjet she was in a state of disbelief to find Yelena stood there. It'd been a year since she'd been home, and it wasn't the compound she looked to, it was you. Not only was it strange that you were missing, but Yelena being there was truly worrisome.

The sisters loved each other endlessly, but they never wanted to seem vulnerable enough to the others by showing their concern outwardly. For you and Kate though, they'd always be there, and in turn the two of you'd always show too.

"Where's Y/N?" Natasha couldn't hide the fear in her voice, but her face remained neutral.

——

Yelena cringed at the mention of you, it didn't take a rocket science to know what happened.

The blonde wanted to help you the first time she saw you with a busted lip, and a bloodshot eye that wasn't simply from crying. Then you flashed her a nervous smile, and she knew that she would only make it worse. You were oddly attached to this asshole—she understood.

Not to say she didn't help in her own ways, she was fond of you, not the same way as her sister, but enough to want to protect you. There was a very specific reason Rio was sent on an influx of lengthy missions this year by his CO, Yelena, (and it wasn't the hopeful rank bumping).

As a former widow she knew that being under another's control is something you become conditioned to respect over time. Sometimes you're even to the point of defending your abuser, for her they doubled as her captors, she reasons it's the same for you in this case, but regardless the reaction all worked the same.

You wouldn't leave unless you felt safe, and you wouldn't feel that way until Natasha returned.

Which is why Yelena is here now. "Natasha, we need to talk yesterday, fuck the reports." The blonde knew the walls had eyes and ears so she pulled her confused sister off to her bike, then drove her fifty miles out to a quaint diner just far enough from the city that Natasha wouldn't sprint back to immediately avenge you.

It was the right thing to do, she didn't want you to see just how scary Natasha could be. The last thing you needed was to be startled into seeing any part of them inside of your Natasha.

"I'm going to kill them!" Yelena smirked over her stolen coffee mug as they'd moved to the dead fields just to the left of the rest top. The circumstances weren't amusing, but seeing that her sister shared her sentiments elated her.

"This is funny to you?" Natasha questioned, her fist shot out at the blonde with the quick reflexes, landing in her open hand. "Why didn't you help her Yelena? Sh-she was my..."

"Lyubov'," Yelena quietly finished for her, she dropped her fist and wrapped her arms around her trembling body. "I never got to tell her what it meant, she always asked, but just as I was about to tell her I had to go. I never..."

"No!" Yelena reprimanded her, "You are not to blame here Natalia. Neither am I. If I helped her alone it would have been worse. Doveryat'."

(Trust)

Natasha nodded, and for a few minutes they stood there, Yelena thinking over what weapon she will use on Rio, and Natasha mourning through sobs the loss of your perfect start.

Everything in both of your lives had been deeply rooted in pain, and now this would be too. Natasha dreamed of more, she wanted the silly first date where she fumbled over her words, that came with the reward of a kiss.

She wanted to enter into a relationship with that period where you dressed up for each other to go out on the town that slowly faded into lazy nights in wearing matching pajamas.

Natasha adored you wholly, and wanted to make every little thing as special as she could. Up until she left she had already been doing so, but still she feels like she failed you. Maybe if she had just staked her claim more outwardly then Rio would've never taken you as theirs.

They would have never been able to hurt you...

Deep down she knew all was not lost, and she could make it right with you. Natasha also knew Yelena was right, it wasn't her fault, but that didn't mean she didn't carry the burden.

All she ever wanted was to keep you safe, and this failed instance will forever haunt her.

"Go pay the bill, I need to make a call." Natasha handed over her card, and as Yelena walked away she dialed in a favor, "Afternoon Hill."

With an urgent need for reaching you the redhead had swiped her sister's keys, and drove them back with a practiced elegance in her every illegal swerve. Yelena grumbled about the likely wear and tear, but there was no genuine anger with her concern, and the redhead couldn't hear her over the racing of her nervous heart, or the harsh wind anyways.

Every second counted, she couldn't risk letting Rio do anything further to you, and she worried that her return might've sparked something in the devious agents voided chest.

"Meet me at the underground cells in an hour," she coldly said to her sister as she tossed her the keys to her bike before she sprinted off. The rooms were spinning when she ran through the compound doors, and it continued to do so until she finally managed to spot you.

You were sitting with your back to the entrance of the communal kitchen, your frame hunched over and your body was lightly shaking. It was clear as day to her that you were sobbing, even if you tried to muffle the sound with your hand.

Natasha wasted no time approaching you, and in her hurry she failed to announce herself. It broke her heart when you jumped away from her touch and skidded across the kitchen.

"I-I'm sorry, I promise I will never mention her again, but please don't —," you cut your shaky pleas off the moment you looked up to see it was a frowning Natasha and not a seething Rio.

Natasha saw the exhaustion in your cloudy eyes, and the rest was painted on your face. Your worry lines were more prominent from when she last saw you, and you looked small. You were once a strong, well built agent at the top of her game, with a ranking higher than her own, but now you looked like a weak prisoner.

There was a scabbed over gash of sorts on the apple of your right cheek, and scratches and bruises all over your upper arms that you tried to conceal with your sleeves but she saw them. The eyes of a spy were a curse just as much as they were a skill to the woman. Because seeing your skin marred broke down her resolve.

"D-don't cry Natty," you yourself said over a sniffle, she smiled sadly as she approached to give you the comfort you were trying to offer.

You whimpered as her strong arms wrapped around your tense shoulders, but your entire body couldn't help but to relax as you smelled the familiar floral scents of her cologne. It was like the world returned to normal for just a moment. All you needed was her touch and suddenly the tears were flowing unendingly.

"It's okay moya lyubov'," she coo'd, and you whimpered once more hearing the familiar words that always brought you comfort. You held onto her shirt beneath her leather jacket for dear life, and she gently swayed your form as you freely sobbed. "You're safe now."

Natasha grinned over your shoulder as her eyes met those of your sleazy partners. Rio's fists were clenched as they stood outside the room, their gaze held contempt as they scowled. They hadn't a chance to interrupt your moment as Maria stopped them in their tracks, and swept them away—if only they'd known of their fate...

"I am here," she whispered, "They are not."

It didn't matter that you knew what her words meant, the meaning was clear; Rio was gone, and you were nothing short of relieved.

Natasha watched as you removed the ring on your finger and dropped it onto the counter in a hurry as if touching the metal harmed you. It was self motivated, but it still left her hopeful to see you denounce them before her own eyes.

The redhead wordlessly pulled you out of the kitchen and you ignored the smell of Rio's musty cologne as Natasha took you straight to her bedroom, a place where you always found yourself sneaking off to when they were out.

While you sat on her bed silently pondering the fact that you were free from this last years terror she ran you a soothing bubble bath. It helped to ease the remaining tension in your body, the warmth of the lavender water helped to soothe the marks atop of your battered body.

Natasha did her best to respect your privacy, giving you her room as she stood outside of the door until you came to collect her. The redhead beamed as you cracked the door and beckoned her inside, seeing you wearing her clothes filled her with a sense of pride, it made her want to remember the way you looked in this moment.

"What can I do to make you feel better?" You smiled softly, and silently nodded towards the bed, she nodded her understanding and laid down with her arms wide open for you to crawl into like you'd always done in the before times.

"I missed you," you croaked, and she pressed her chapped lips against your temple, leaving a firm kiss against the skin and for a moment the persistent ache in your head from the earlier scuffle with your spouse seemed to fade away under the soft affection of your desired lover.

"I missed you too Y/N/N," she sighed, her arms gently tightened around you in emphasis. "Every day I found it harder and harder to stay away. I'm so sorry I was gone for so long, and.."

You shook your head and kissed the side of her neck as your lips were rested there. "Don't."

The redhead sighed, and relented on pushing you beyond your limits. Even if she felt sorry, she still should keep that to herself. It's unfair to ask of your forgiveness, when you were the one who had to endure the cruelty of another. All she was meant to do now was hold you close, and never let this ever happen again.

Once you'd slipped into a state of unconscious that had you snoring the redhead cautiously shimmied out from beneath you. She hated taking the comfort of her embrace away from you, but she had somewhere to be in ten. So with a final kiss to your cheek she left the room, securely locking her door as she did.

"Sestra, welcome to the party!!!" Yelena greeted her sister, "You are just in time."

Natasha took the brass knuckles from her sister's extended hand with a smirk, but before using them she decided to punch Rio square in the nose with nothing but her bare hand. A reminder to the crooked agent that she didn't need anything more to harm them efficiently.

Blood gushed from the asshole's nose and the sisters rejoiced when the pitiful excuse for an agent began to cry. "Seriously? Already crying? What a joke." Natasha snorted at her little sisters taunting, then she turned her malicious attention back to your sobbing ex. "Too bad you're not the funny kind. Just the pathetic."

Rio knew better than to plead for their life. Maria escorted them here and handcuffed them to a chair. Yelena menacingly stood watch over them before Natasha entered. It was clear to the criminal of the hour that their fate was sealed the moment they took your hand in theirs and abused your loving nature.

"Snyat' s nikh naruchniki," Natasha dryly said as she slid the brass knuckles over her fingers.

(Uncuff them)

Yelena obliged her sister, and with unnecessary but warranted strength she shoved them from the chair. "Wh-what's happening? Can I go?"

Natasha chuckled darkly, "Oh please, you are simply being granted a chance to try and throw one of your little punches at me. Show me the inexcusable power you used against her."

Rio smirked, then lunged at the redhead with a confidence they were sure to lose in seconds. Natasha cackled as they punched her nose just as she did theirs with literally no damage done.

"God damnit you're fucking weak!" She cackled as they stumbled back in shock, looking at their fist in confusion as if it betrayed them. "You're going to regret ever laying a hand on her!!"

A taunting smile adorned their face as they challenged Natasha with a tilt of their head. If they were going to die anyways, they decided it would be best to torment her back. "Not only did I smack her around, but I gave her my —."

Natasha socked them in the jaw, cutting their disgusting words off at the source. Only cries of pain left them as the bronze over her knuckles had effectively broken their jaw into sections. Blood mixed with their drool and dripped down their chin along with a chunk of their tongue, and that made Natasha smile wickedly.

Yelena watched with a glint in her eyes as her sister tossed the buff excuse for a human being around as if they were a weightless rag doll.

"Pozvol' mne povernut'!" Yelena eventually whined, and Natasha scoffed, "Imet' eto."

(Let me have a turn / Have at it)

While the blonde tormented Rio with her sharpened knife Natasha chose to discard her weapon and stared at the blood on her hands. Observing as it dripped onto the cold cement of the cell floor, staining it red; her ledger gushed. 

"Natalia!" Natasha shook her head free of the distraction of her dark, self destructive thoughts, and looked up to see a bloodied Rio on their knees, body swaying as they fought to keep their loose grip on consciousness. It was time to deliver the final metaphorical blow.

"Y/N's mine," Natasha growled while holding their disfigured jaw in her hands, her nails dug into their raw skin and they hardly winced as the life force left within them was dwindling. "She was never going to be yours, because she loved me, and she was far too good for you."

"Fut yuh," they spat incoherently, and Natasha grimaced as their blood spluttered onto her face. "I'd bless you, but we both know you're not going to make it to heaven," she teased, smile mocking as her hand lowered to wrap around their neck. Her stony glare of the black widow was the last thing the abuser saw before their lights officially went out. Yelena looked at her, and Natasha smiled weakly at her sister.

"Ready for cleanup," she muttered tiredly into the speaker of her phone, then left the room as fast as she could. The weight of the situation had finally gotten to her, the realization that she could have lost you to that weak fool had her crying the whole way back to her room.

She heard shuffling, so she stood with her head pressed against her door until her breathing regulated, and the tears had come to a stop. Only then did she enter her room, and headed straight for the bathroom to take a shower.

You were flat on your back now, your midriff exposed as the shirt you wore rose up and the plush blanket she left was kicked off the bed. Natasha admired you fondly as she walked out with her towel wrapped around her nude form.

When you finally awoke she was drying her hair in front of her body length mirror, she now wore a pair of biker shorts, and a sports bra. The sight of her flexed abs, and swell of her perfect breasts through the mirror made your mouth even dryer than the amazing sleep had.

The redhead turned around with a soft smirk on her lips, the teasing gesture was however overwhelmed by the distant look in her eyes. She watched guiltily as your eyes filled with recognition when you saw her purple hands.

"Natty?" The redhead sighed softly, "Don't." You nodded in understanding, and patted the bed besides you, and she stalled briefly as she walked into the closet to grab her shirt, as well as her favorite leather jacket for extra layers.

She didn't want to seem like a temptation, even if she only had to exist before your eyes to be.

You honestly couldn't restrain yourself, seeing the physical proof that she'd used her assassin skills to defend you turned you on. It was odd, the way that her violence didn't turn you off. It was perfectly understandable though, knowing that she loved you enough to chose to defend you was the most attractive characteristic.

You were down bad, and Natasha gulped as she saw the way your eyes bloomed with swirls of palpable lust. It took all of her not to pounce on the moment that presented itself to her, but she stood no real chance at abstaining here. In a matter of seconds you were straddling her lap and lifting her bruised knuckles to your lips.

"Y/N," she gasped, a subtle warning in the way her hand trembled in yours, but you cupped her cheeks and smiled warmly before saying: "I want to feel your love Nat, please show me."

Both of your hearts beat out of rhythm, but the jumbled thumps were however in sync. She surveyed your eyes for a brief moment, then she kissed you breathless as she lifted you both up off the mattress. Setting you down on shaky legs she smiled at the way your eyes took time fluttering back open. Her hands settled on the hem of your shirt, "May I?" You nodded, a bit emotional as she sought your permission out.

Natasha was incredibly gentle as she disrobed you, a muffled sob left you as you cherished the unfamiliarly soft touch. It had been such a long time since someone regarded your body this way. Every partner you'd been with since you moved into adulthood had been callous; rough around all your edges and cruel to your curves.

Your parents were just the same, the redhead had given you hope for a brighter future. Then she was gone, no longer present to keep that shadowed figure from exposing themselves.

Rio was never someone you regarded as a threat until the day when they introduced themselves, cocky grin on their face as they asked you out on the date you'd be at later.

It was never a question, it was a veiled prison sentence that you would fall into the trap of.

You were naive enough to believe it friendly, everyone knew you were unspoken for, but the whispers echoed that you were Natasha's girl.

Which you were wholeheartedly aligned with.

Rio disregarded the claim, showing you the empty finger that they shoved a ring onto a month into your assigned arrangement. It devastated you being with anyone that wasn't her, they never physically forced you down, but they used their venomous words to coerce you.

"Moya lyubov, are you sure?" You felt this wave of warmth tingle beneath your skin, and felt as her calloused thumb wiped away your tears. "We don't have to do this yet detka, or ever if-."

"Natasha no," you whimpered, nails dug into the nape of her neck as you feared being left sexually frustrated. You needed her more than you ever thought humanly possible, "Please."

Natasha's arm wrapped around your bare waist, she guided you back towards the bed and kissed your lips the entire time she spent cautiously lowering you onto the mattress. It was like she was in a trance as she took her time kissing away the pain of your scars.

It was her intention to make this moment one full of love, her lips gently kissed over the skin of your stomach and she felt the way your entire body tensed in anticipation. Yet she didn't take the bait, she instead continued to lick the salty sweat from every bit of exposed skin she could, and her kisses continued to drop all over, like into the crook of your knees and elbows, and the apex of your thighs.

You whimpered in need for nearly an hour, but she never heard you as she was determined to feel every last bit of your skin beneath her now numbed lips. Soft snores finally pulled her from her trance, she gazed up at you, her lips stalled on the skin beneath your belly button.

She grinned against your pelvis as she caught a whiff of your abundance, her eyes closed as she felt her mouth salivate in an instant. Her body shuffled until she could eye your cunt, it oozed like a waterfall and seeped into the grey sheets.

With the tip of her nose she nudged your lips apart, then slid up to bump at your clit as her tongue followed the trail with a firm lick. Natasha groaned against your sensitive nub as she truly tasted you for the first time. Her face was absolutely coated in arousal in seconds as she ate your pussy like it was her last meal.

If she goes down for her crimes today she would actually request you as her final meal.

Muffled whimpers left through the part in your lips instantaneously, your hips shifted, then all of a sudden your upper torso arched off the bed and you moaned yourself into consciousness.

You were enthusiastic as your hand wove into her hair and you loudly vocalized her praise: "O-oh my god, don't stop—fuck, never stop!"

Natasha purred against your pulsating clit, a clear indication that she shared your thoughts. Dangerously so honestly, because she made you release on her swirling tongue alone four mind blowing times before she took a break.

While you grappled hazily with the functions of time and space the woman merely watched you in amusement. You were adorable as you came down from your repetitive sequence of highs, yawning obviously and smiling contentedly.

Moments later you finally stared down at the woman whose body was pressed into yours. Natasha smiled up at you lazily, with her slick cheek smushed into your thigh, you returned the gesture and her heart skipped a million beats. You took her breath away every time she saw you, but this time was different, it was even better than she dreamed. She finally had you in every sense of the word, before she left you were already hers in totality, but it was never the right time to take that leap together.

Or at least you'd both thought that you needed the time to be right, but now you knew to stake your claims and to never let each other go.

The redhead needed to be closer to you, so she left the oh so comforting heat radiating from between your thighs behind and began to kiss up the center of your body, a snail trail left in her lips wake with each sloppy press of them to your sweaty skin. She relished in the way you'd shiver as the breeze from the window solidified your essence and had your heated skin chilled.

She smirked once her lips pressed into your cheek as you tugged at her clothes and whined.

"What is it moya lyubov'?" She chuckled, then prohibited your response as she pecked away your pout. Her tongue licked at your bottom lip and you allowed her the moment of distraction. Savoring the taste of you on her tongue as she kissed you breathless, your body pushed back into a needy state as your arousal soaked into her shirt, and she was reminded of your prior whining as you had just tried to undress her.

Natasha shook her leather jacket off of her arm, keeping her body raised on the other like it took no strength at all. She never once broke the kiss, managing to suck your soul from you, she even kept her balance as she threw it off. For her remaining clothes she had to pull away, but you didn't feel her absence for long as she moved rather speedily, almost like a cheetah.

"What does it mean?" You shakily asked as she lowered her cunt atop of yours, a carnal groan then left you, "Fuck, Natasha you are so wet."

She hummed teasingly as she began to rub her aroused cunt against yours, her plump lips hovered your ear as she whispered her secret words: "My love." You felt the warmth of her sigh tickle the skin of your collarbones, and it spurred on a flurry of goosebumps across your body and burrowed deep into your heart. "I'm only ever wet because of you Y/N, every time you'd kiss my cheek goodnight I'd be drooling."

"Oh god," you moaned as her lewd confession was huskily spoken just as her clit brushed over yours, the stimulating touch caused Natasha's arms to nearly give out as she was overrun with pleasure, but her impressive strength won out.

"You've always been mine Y/N," she murmured the truth you both vehemently aligned with as she kept up a breathtaking pace with her hips, it wasn't rushed though which was new to you.

The painstakingly raw jut of her hips left you feeling dizzy, her teeth grazed across the skin of your jaw before her lips latched onto the bob of your throat as your body arched into hers.

It was made worse when she pulled away from your neck and hovered you once more, her lovesick gaze locked on your hazy one, and you were surely a goner as the words as sweet as honey left her saccharine lips: "I promise to cherish your body for a lifetime if you'll let me," her pace sped up just as fast as your heartbeat had, and your eyes brimmed with tears of pure joy as you came in sync with your soulmate.

Whispers of yes and please left your lips in between the moans of her name, and the world stopped when you hoarsely cried out mommy.

Natasha collapsed into you, her arms giving out as her warm arousal gushed from her already dripping cunt onto your thighs as she came again from she's sure your words alone.

"You did such a good job for mommy," she pecked your cheek then pressed her lips to yours and satisfied your needs to kiss her luscious lips as you basked in the aftershocks of your highs in a bubble of undeniable passion.

"Get some rest now detka," Natasha rolled off of you and pulled your limp body into hers. "You're safe with me Y/N, I promise you this."

"I know Natty," you mumbled over a yawn while burrowing your face in between her soft, rounded breasts. The redhead smiled and happily admired your relaxed face, she wore a proud grin as you drifted off, trusting her to keep you safe with the same hands she'd used to wring the neck of your spouse this evening.

You knew deep down that Natasha didn't let them go like you’d thought when she said they were not here. Apparently she was foreshadowing their looming demise. You didn't question her for a meaning when it came to the bruises on her hands, you just accepted it because she loved you enough to bloody her ledger. Though they surely deserved it, she still had to consciously take a life, and even though they were wretched, she still felt the loss.

Good or bad, her heart still cared too deeply.

The world was a safer place, you'd pointlessly reminded yourself of her humanity, as if she would ever lay a harsh hand on you. She who hummed softly, and ran a gentle hand up and down your back even after you'd slipped off into a middle ground. Your mind was still aware but your body was slumped into hers, but you heard her whisper clear as day as her lips faintly kissed your hairline. "I love you Y/N Romanoff, I promise I'll put a ring on your finger soon, I just have to unpack the little box from my suitcase and threaten a judge is all."

You involuntarily giggled softly and her hands teasingly tickled at yours sides, "You sneaky minx," you could hear the smirk in her voice, and you knew then she'd known all along that you were still conscious on some plane. "So, tell me Y/N, will you be my runaway bride?"

"It depends," you yawned out exaggeratedly, "Where will we be running off to Natty-kins?"

"Wherever you want sweet girl, I can make a home anywhere in the world if you're there."

"So romantic," you giggled, your lips brushed over her racing pulse and you left a tender kiss there to try and calm her, but it only made it beat out of sync as it sped up then slowed back down. "Of course I will marry you, just as soon as I can get this crock of fibbery annulled."

"Fibbery?" Natasha chuckled and you whined a little too honestly, "Don't make fun of me, I'm tired, and have a lingering minor concussion."

The redheads breath stalled, her body tensed but you tiredly lifted your head and kissed her chin before you whispered, "It's okay, I'm safe now in my favorite persons arms. Like you said, nothing can hurt me if you're around."

"Damn straight," she said as her grip on you tightened, and you sighed. Natasha's hold was expectantly possessive, which briefly felt too familiar to another's, but the way Natasha kissed the skin beneath your hairline, and continued her prior humming soothed you.

This wasn't the start she dreamed of, but she also couldn't prevent the smile that adorned her sleepy face as you nuzzled even further into her embrace, your clear trust in her meant the world to her and even eased some of her guilt.

You both knew it would be a long while before you were truly yourself again, and you knew from experience that her patience would never waver, and that alone would be enough. One thing was rather clear as you slipped off to sleep—you were safe, and loved just as you'd always deserved to be in your home's arms.

——

[aohisworld]

MAGNETIC PULSE! 01

ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ Aohi is signed into a CO-ED contract and meets her future members alongside another female member, but she’s not necessarily welcome..

ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ eventual poly!ot7 x added member!oc. (ri-ki centric). content warnings: bickering, a bit of cursing? a little cringe writing.

| : ̗̀➛ MINTIE’s NOTES: Enhypen was considered a boy group prior to this chapter. Aohi was tied to girl group, XG before Enhypen. (ft. members of XG, other idols.)

| : ̗̀➛ WARNING! How I write ENHYPEN is not meant to portray the idols irl, this is my au and I write this for fun. contains angst and a little bit of bickering/awkward tension.

✧. ┊   AOHI wasn't one to be a leader, and she knew that from a very young age. She loved to follow the crowd, keep up with trends and go along with any flow her friends set.

Aohi also knew she was one to set things in stone once planned, she was always ready to do things, anything her friends asked of her or plans they wanted to do, she followed orders, that was her whole thing but..

When Aohi had to face the decision of basically being kicked out of her group, being singled out by the company for reasons she didn't know yet, all she had to work with was her manager's soft and sympathetic gaze on her, and that wasn't much.

The rest of the meeting went through one ear of hers and out the other, I mean, why wouldn't it? Why wouldn't it when the group you trained so hard to join was finally gaining recognition, and only now, did management think you weren't right for the concept and kicked you out?

"I'm really sorry, Aohi. You'll do great things, just... not with us." Yuzi spoke softly, Aohi knew her as one of the higher-ups, her manager's boss.

"But...I worked so hard.." Aohi could only blurt out, standing up from her seat. "It's not that you'll be sent back, Aohi," Yuzi did what she could to cool any emotion down before they could leave Aohi's lips.

"You're just, not the concept we want, not.. now." Yuzi chose her words deliberately as to not spark any unwanted feelings inside of Aohi, Yuzi wasn't a bad person, nor was she heartless, hell, she even treated the entirety of XG as her daughters, so Aohi couldn't be mad.

"What do you want me to do then? Where will I go?"

"You'll be moved into a co-ed project, the higher ups, and Hybe, wanted to create something new, and they picked you, Aohi." Yuzi spilled, reaching over to hold a motherly hand over the young girl's shaking fingers.

"So I'll just be put into a new group? That's it for me?" Aohi asked after a slight pause, her head was in a ramble trying to process the information given to her.

"You'll be put into Enhypen." Yuzi confirmed, Aohi paused for a bit, she was versed in various k-pop groups, being the sole reason on why she was an idol now.

"But isn't that a boy group? Why would they want to turn it into a co-ed project last minute?-" Aohi's eyebrows furrowed as her personal manager finally made a move, placing a hand on Aohi's shoulder as if to tell her to calm down. she had been sitting in the corner for a while, listening in on the conversation.

"Aohi, calm down, okay?" Her personal manager softly whispered, her hand squeezing at Aohi's shoulders, trying to ease the girl into a calmer mindset.

"I don't know-" Yuzi couldn't even continue before Aohi is being sat down by her own manager.

"How could you not know?" She challenged back, her hand retracting from under Yuzi's hold and combing itself through her hair.

"I just don't, Aohi!" Yuzi was starting to get frustrated quickly.

Aohi's questions and irritated feelings was starting to frustrate her as she couldn't explain why, why BE:LIFT decided to pick Aohi, why she had to let her go—

"Listen, you don't have to do it, but it is a choice." Yuzi spoke in a tone that felt finalized, in other words, she was telling Aohi to make a choice.

"I've seen your progress, and I don't want a talented person like you to go back to Fukuoka without a chance." Yuzi continued.

Aohi could only stare back at her, she could feel the shock buzz in her body, her jaw threatening to slack open.

"Aohi, please take this offer, I promise you, it'll be worth it, you won't get far with us, with staying in our company." Yuzi had surrended to begging Aohi.

As a motherly figure, she didn't want Aohi to give up because she wasn't in XG— this whole decision to let her go so that HYBE could bring her up for their co-ed project, was better than any offer they could've gotten for Aohi.

Silence filled the room for a few moments, but to Aohi it felt like forever.

She didn't want to give up easily, XG was her group, she basically grew up with the members like they were her older sisters.

Aohi knew they wouldn't want to see her retreat back to Japan, not when she worked so hard to train to be an idol.

"Well?" Yuzi asked after a moment of silence from Aohi. "Aohi, you have the choice, but you need to make it now."

Aohi's throat felt dry as she wondered, if she returned back to Japan, would her family be disappointed, seeing her come back, not even a year after debuting?—

"Okay, I'll accept the offer."

— It felt unreal, Aohi staring at her old dorm bed, which was hers for not even a year, sitting down on the bare bed, running her hand through it. God, she really didn't want to go— nobody did.

Hinata just watched Aohi silently sit in their bedroom for a while with a heavy heart. If she could just keep Aohi here, with them, she would've.

"Ready to go, batsy?" Hinata's voice broke Aohi out of her thoughts, making the girl look up at one of her sister figures. "Nata-nee, won't you miss me?" Aohi sadly mumbled, looking back down at the bed, still unsure of her decision.

"Aish, just because I'm not crying doesn't mean I'm not sad that you're leaving." Hinata sighed, forcing Aohi to scoot over her bed as she sat beside her.

"You don't know how upset I was when I heard of your termination from XG." She spoke, rubbing gently at the younger girl's shoulder.

"We adore you so much, batsy. You don't even know." Hinata squeezed Aohi's shoulder, feeling her eyes sting at the threat of tears.

"Sometimes, things go this way, and just because we won't be idols together, doesn't mean that's it for you." Aohi looked up at Hinata, sadness evident in her brown orbs.

"What if Yuzi was wrong? What if I'm not well received?" Aohi asked, she felt like she had regressed back to her childish self, asking her older sister things she wasn't supposed to be worrying about.

"Well, then you have us, we'll always be here for you to fall into. We'll be your safety net." Hinata smiled, pinching at Aohi's nose, trying to cheer the younger up.

"Let's go, we've wallowed long enough, it's time, Aohi." Hinata slowly stood up, holding Aohi's hand like a sister would to her younger sibling, squeezing tight in reassurance.

Aohi left the old dorm room, an ache of emotions beating in her chest.

"Aohi, take care of yourself out there, okay?" Harvey approached the young girl.

There was barely any sunshine outside, it was as if the world knew how upset Aohi was, her emotions controlling the weather.

"I don't want you to go, I really don't." Juria said in hushed whispers beside her, hooking her arm around Aohi's tightly, hoping her grip could possibly make Aohi stay.

Juria whispered her words to Aohi because she felt like she would be reprimanded if anyone even heard her loud enough.

"I don't want to, either, Juria." Aohi rubbed her hand in the tired girl's head, trying to comfort her however she could.

Aohi sighed, the girl barely keeping her composure before dropping her grip from her luggage and pulling Juria into her arms, holding each other tightly.

"Be strong, batsy." Harvey approached the two as she placed her arms over their embrace, hugging Aohi and Juria tightly.

It was ironic though, being told to stay strong when Harvey's morning skincare was easily ruined by the salty tears that ran down her face.

"They better treat you well at be-lift." Cocona punched Aohi's exposed shoulder, laughing through her own tears.

The rest of XG joined along, trying to turn the sad moment into a memorable one. They wanted to remember their batsy in good spirits.

It felt like time had fastened for Aohi, because their manager couldn't be any faster when she had entered the girls' shared dorms. Aohi could hear her name being called, a shaky sigh leaving her lips.

Aohi picked up her luggage, trying to pull it out of the dormitory. Their manager offered her help with the bags that didn't fit in the suitcase, throwing it over her shoulder.

As Aohi walked further and further away from the girls, she dreaded leaving the dorms even more, because she knew— she knew that if she steps out, she won't be considered a part of XG anymore.

She'll be leaving her sisters behind. She—

As if her thoughts was easily read by the girls, Jurin called after Aohi one last time. Her sisters called her name. "Aohi!" She swore the world stopped for a moment, just for them.

"You have a home here, with us. If everything gets too much, you can always run to us." Jurin left her with words of reassuring.

Even as Aohi was leaving Jurin's duty to lead, to care for her members— to be a pillar of stability for her sisters, shows.

Aohi let out a breathy laugh, shaking her head. "Always such a leader, Jurin-nee."

AT HYBE HEADQUARTERS, TUESDAY, 9:32 AM—

✧. ┊    The meeting room could be considered empty the way it was silent, The current members of ENHYPEN had woken earlier than they should be to meet up; per their management's request, to meet the potentially new members of ENHYPEN.

"Are they here yet?" Heeseung grumbled from his seat. A tired Ri-ki was on his shoulder, using his hyung as a pillow to try and catch the hours of sleep he's missing by being at the meeting.

Sunghoon was busy spacing out by his seat, while Sunoo was trying not to doze off in his own chair.

"Just be patient a little longer, boys." Their manager tried to soothe the boys' tired annoyance.

"Sorry, sorry!" An unfamiliar staff member entered into the room, two masked girls entering after them. Heeseung looked up, slightly curious.

He assumed from the way they seem to stick to the staff member, and how their own manager lit up at the sight of them, they must've been the reason for the meeting.

"Took you while enough." The manager glanced at the staff member in charge of the girls. Heeseung wasn't sure what to think of the two girls who huddled together.

Aohi already felt close to her member, well, even if they only met a few minutes ago, it was a few minutes longer than the boys of ENHYPEN. Aohi had gotten to know her unnie’s name, Xiulin.

Xiulin was in a similar situation as Aohi, picked off from a group to join Aohi in the co-ed project, 'How considerate.' Aohi thought at the time, at least she didn't feel like she was alone.

Of course, Aohi felt awful that Xiulin had gone through the same thing, especially when she had heard that her unnie was the leader of her own group.

Aohi could only imagine how Xiulin felt.

"Boys, this is Aohi and Xiulin. They'll be the new additions to Enhypen." The staff's gaze turned from the boys to the girls, Ri-ki and Sunoo were now at full attention, glancing at the girls with an awkward look.

Although, the silence must've been unbearable since after just a minute had passed, the staff ushered any one of the boys to say something.

"Yang Jungwon, it's nice to meet you two.." Jungwon took the first move for the group, bowing professionally before reaching his hands over. A handshake, Jungwon was waiting for a handshake.

Aohi hesitated for a bit, looking anxiously at Jungwon's hand, but before she could even decide to shake his hand, Xiulin reached over and took his hand for her.

"It's nice to meet you, Aohi and I look forward to working with you, please take care of us." Xiulin spoke gently, bowing as she held Jungwon's hand. Aohi could only look in awe and admiration at Xiulin.

Xiulin reminded her so much of Jurin.

Aohi quickly snapped out of her awed gaze before turning towards Jungwon and shaking his hand as well, bowing politely, showing her respect to him.

In Jungwon's head, he kind of thought of Aohi as peculiar, Xiulin had a mature personality and was willing to take over for her members, shaking his hand for Aohi was already proof of that.

Aohi has not spoken a single word since they had seen her, only opting to follow after her unnie, sitting down alongside her.

"So, let's get the gist down for what will be Enhypen's schedule now that Xiulin and Aohi are here—" The manager sat middle of the members.

"Enhypen, was always planned to be a co-ed group. We wondered adding female contestants into I-land, but there was never a right time to introduce them." The manager seemed to open a folder of sorts, Aohi and Xiulin listening intently to her words.

"I'd like to think we were doing well on our own, as a boy-group.." Sunoo softly spoke, looking slightly apologetic to Aohi and Xiulin for his opinion.

To an extent, Aohi understood why Sunoo thought so and his hesitance to the addition of girls into the group.

Aohi knew that if she were on the other side of the meeting table, she would be confused, and even frustrated if XG made member additions, much less of the opposite gender when they were told it was strictly a girl group.

The teenage girl looked around the room, observing the other members of ENHYPEN.

As an idol, it would be embarrassing if she didn't know her future members and their names, so she made the courtesy of at least learning their names and faces.

Aohi's gaze landed on Jake, at least she hoped it was Jake? His features was somewhat displaying a perplexed look, spinning in his chair as he seemed deep in thought.

"Well, yes but— see, the co-ed plan was set before Enhypen was even formed as an idea." The manager replied to Sunoo, making the boy deflate as he leaned back to his seat.

It wasn't a secret that their stay in I-land or anything relating, was exactly fun. It was something the members were unsure to explain.

The boys struggled a lot with trying to debut, their journey was turned into a source of entertainment. It was called a survival show for a reason.

Heeseung seemed to struggle at wrapping his mind around the fact that these girls were just being added, firstly it felt unnecessary, and the girls would just not understand.

Jungwon was more frustrated at the fact that this means the girls would have to debut at a later album and it'll complicate what the group was already working on.

"Do they have to join our group? Wouldn't it be better to place them with a group that'll debut together?" Jake bluntly asked, Aohi couldn't lie and say she wasn't offended, because she was.

Aohi was taken aback by Jake's sudden question, so shocked in fact that she could just feel her jaw slacking before it even attempted to open physically.

"What Jake-hyung meant was that, the girls will struggle with our concept- as well as our fans might not receive them well and—" Sunghoon tried to save face for his hyung in front of the staff members and the girls.

Xiulin stared at Jake offended while Aohi only looked appalled.

"What can you do? I mean, these girls have nowhere else to go but be here." The manager's fingers pointed down at the table, emphasizing her seriousness with the taps to the table.

"Their companies have already terminated their contracts, their idol dreams end here if they don't debut with you boys."

The manager no longer felt lenient with the boys, at first, their manager wanted to be understanding, knowing it was an incredibly big change for both sides.

"We've already debuted a while ago, they'll struggle to keep up." Jay wanted to defend his brother, sitting up in his chair.

"If you think we can't handle it, I assure you Xiulin-unnie and I can keep up." Aohi replied, speaking for the first time after she entered the room. She frankly felt offended that this group, was so against them debuting with ENHYPEN.

"You don't know that." Jungwon retaliated, "You don't know us either." Xiulin countered.

"We both left our groups so we could debut with you, I went through that so I could be here," Aohi sighed, "I understand why you're upset, but I've sacrificed more than what I was willing to give to be an idol and I'm sure Xiulin-unnie had to as well."

Aohi had a determined look in her eyes, it was clear that the girl wasn't going to take no for an answer.

"So I'm going to debut, whether you guys like it or not."

"Fine. If you want to debut, don't expect us to help," heeseung replied after a few moments of silence. "Show us you're worth adding into our group."

"Heeseung! That's not—" Their manager scolded the eldest, Heeseung only glancing at her with a blank look, his gaze returning to Aohi.

Heeseung and Aohi was somewhat stuck in a staring contest, as if trying to test each other's patience.

Aohi could feel her jaw clench at this, just what was this group's problem?!

"We will, just see."

— ENHYPEN APARTMENTS, GIRLS DORMS, 11:18 am—

✧. ┊ AOHI just met her new bandmates, and they already dislike her. Well, the seven of them, at least. Xiulin seems to like her! She hopes…

Silence filled the new dorms as Xiulin and Aohi unpacked, both girls focused on returning a sense of familiarity in an unfamiliar space.

Aohi tried her best to replicate her old room, using trinkets given by Harvey and Jurin to give her comfort. Aohi sat down on her bed, it was too soft for her liking. She could feel her lips start to tremble when the situation sinked in.

Thankfully, Xiulin noticed before she could say anything.

"Looks good." Xiulin spoke from the other side of the room. Aohi sniffled, looking up as if wondering what she meant.

"Your part of the room. It looks nice." Xiulin repeated.

Aohi stared at her unnie for a second before returning her gaze to her hands, responding. "Thanks."

"Worried?" Xiulin continued, taking her response as a green light that Aohi was up to talking. Xiulin folded her clothes as she spoke, placing it on the side in a neat pile to store for later.

Aohi scoffs at her short question— as if it wasn't obvious. "Is it that obvious?"

"If this is about this morning, I'd rather either of us not worry about it."

Xiulin stood up from her spot, bringing her clothes into the dorm's closet, disappearing for a few minutes.

"Didn't you hear them though? We're on our own, and the first album we release with them will be a disaster." It was Xiulin's turn to scoff, Aohi looking back up at the sound of that. "Don't tell me you believe his bluff."

"How would you know it's bluff?" Xiulin sighs, she knew it like it was the most common thing in the world. "They can't leave us to fend for ourselves, how we perform affects them too."

"If you make a single mistake, or cause a rumour, it'll ruin all of us, not just you."

Aohi furrowed her eyebrows, looking down at her fingers. "Maybe, I'm not cut out for this—" Xiulin laughs, catching the younger girl off guard. "C'mon, don't let those boys scare you, we worked just as hard to get here."

"We got this, don't you worry."

BE:LIFT PRACTICE ROOM, THREE WEEKS LATER, 6:43 PM—

— Aohi loved dancing, sure, she wasn't a prodigy or anything, but her dance style was one to lure you into the performance.

Any concept and she's got you, hook, line and sinker.

For some reason though, Aohi felt like her ability was sucked out of her, the way she couldn't even keep up with the practice Ri-ki and Jake gave her and Xiulin.

"It's not that difficult! Switch your feet and you got it." Jake groans. Xiulin and Aohi have been bickering with Jake for the whole practice. The girls could only feel bad for the maknae, who stared at his hyung with an embarrassed look.

Honestly, it felt like Jake was only ever talking to prod at the two girls.

"We're not even used to the steps yet! Give us time!" Xiulin huffed out, glaring at Jake through the foggy mirror of the room.

"Seriously! We're trying, yelling at us won't magically make us do better!" Aohi followed after Xiulin's words. A small silence washed the room, Jake looking at the two girls with a tired and annoyed expression.

After a bit, Jake just turns away, he runs his hand in his hair, walking away. Ri-ki looked up at Jake, wondering what he was doing.

"They really are trying, hyung.." Ni-ki spoke softly enough for Jake to hear. The youngest was obviously trying to soothe the tension between the new members and his hyung.

"Well, obviously not hard enough." Jake replied, taking one last glance at the girls, who looked appalled at his words. Before either girls could retaliate, Jake leaves the practice room, slamming the door behind him.

Ri-ki could only hope that Jake would return after a breather.

"Gosh! The nerve of that guy!— Whatever, I'm going to steam off!" Xiulin grumbled, standing from her spot on the floor and walking off, slipping out of the dance room.

Only and Aohi and Ri-ki were left alone in the practice room, the tension being replaced with awkwardness. This was the first time Aohi was left alone with her male bandmates without staff.

Aohi only ever spoke to her members when it was necessary. Aohi has never freely chatted with any of the boys, not even the youngest.

Aohi positioned herself from the middle of the practice room, to the sides, sitting down to wait for Xiulin to return. She tried her best to keep her distance from Ri-ki, since she already assumed he wouldn't want to talk to her.

Ri-ki, unsure of what to do, sits beside her, a reasonable feet apart. It was quiet, the hum-buzz of the air conditioning was the only sound accompanying the two.

"I'm sorry about Jake-hyung." Ri-ki softly mumbled towards her, picking at the skin on his nails.

"Why're you apologizing? Unnie and I want to hear it from him." Aohi replied curtly.

Ri-ki sighed at this response. Ri-ki was a very understanding person, he knew why his hyung was so easily frustrated by anything. He also knew that frustration wasn't an excuse to take it out on Aohi or Xiulin.

"Jake-hyung's just upset, he's trying to adjust." Ri-ki felt like he needed to defend Jake first, despite feeling guilty about the way the boys and the girls bickered all of the time.

"And what makes you think we aren't as well?" Aohi poked. "We're already trying our best trying to follow his instructions,"

"It only makes us even more exhausted that he keeps prodding at the little thing we do wrong." Ri-ki listened, turning to Aohi, "And to think we left our groups for this.."

Ri-ki felt like a dim lightbulb went off of his head— ah, he remembers, their first meeting. Ri-ki would've thought that the girls were picked exclusively.

"Which group?" The younger boy softly spoke, trying to change the subject subtly, trying to keep the neutrality of the two people going.

"XG, my sisters. I left XG to be here, so I could debut with you guys." Aohi nodded along with her words, her fingers fiddling with each other in her lap.

"Did you grow up with them?" It was Aohi's turn to look at Ri-ki, the way he looked at her curiously made a ghost of a smile appear on her lips.

"Eung.." Aohi confirmed, "I didn't join XG until I was about sixteen, then I started to train with them." She shrugged, thinking about her earlier years. "I'm sorry you had to leave." Ri-ki expressed, making the girl shrug.

Aohi didn't really expect Ri-ki to apologize, especially when he was one of the only members who didn't argue with her and Xiulin at every chance.

"You don't have to apologize, at least you're nicer than your hyungs, hm?" Aohi mumbled, giving Ri-ki a lopsided smile before tilting her head back, hitting the wall with a thud.

Ri-ki followed suit, turning away and staring straight in front of him.

"Aohi-noona?" She hummed a response, expecting a question. "Yeah?"

"Where did you grow up, you know, with your group?" Ri-ki spoke back, scooting closer to his noona, feeling a bit more comfortable around her.

"Fukuoka, Japan."

"Ah— you're from Japan too?!" RI-ki's face turned from relaxed to shock, almost gaining whiplash at the way his face whipped to look at Aohi.

"I thought you knew, Ri-ki-san." Aohi used an honorific to tease the boy, who just smiled brightly. Ri-ki was happy that he could have someone to talk to, not just in korean.

"I didn't! Now, I really am glad." Ri-ki laughed, "What?— Why?" Aohi laughed back, finding Ri-ki's starstruck eyes pointed at her amusing.

"I just, miss it there. I mean, Jay-hyung speaks Japanese but, it barely lessens the loneliness.." Ri-ki replied, his wide smile morphing to that of melancholy, Aohi could obviously tell that the younger boy was reminiscing in his head.

"I get it." Aohi spoke in a soft tone, one that gave made Ri-ki feel a little less homesick. Aohi approached the boy, before hesitantly wrapping her hand around Ri-ki and gently patting his shoulder.

"I miss my hometown a lot as well, not just in Japan, but in the Philippines as well."

Aohi felt Ri-ki relax in her hold, allowing her to continue. "I had the girls in XG help me with that homesickness, but you—.." Aohi leaned into him, making him move slightly to the side.

Ri-ki just stared beside him, looking at Aohi with a soft look, wondering what the girl could possibly follow up with. "The point is, I don't think I'll be kicked off anytime soon.." Aohi sighed, removing her hand from off of his shoulders.

Ri-ki felt a little sad, slightly missing the warmth her hold had, but it was the less of his worries.

Aohi didn't really know what she was trying to say after that sentence, she wondered if it was better just shutting up.

"I'm saying, I'm here now, so if you feel homesick, at least we can be homesick together.." The girl gently punched at Ri-ki's shoulder, trying to cheer the boy up.

Ri-ki just stared at Aohi in awe, they've only seriously talked, like one other time, and it wasn't even as personal as this, who was this noona to just declare that for him?

He was astonished at the way Aohi just seems to wear her heart on her sleeve.

"You mean that?" Ri-ki hesitantly asked, "Look, we might not know each other much, but I'm serious, especially about that." Aohi replied, in reality, it just really slipped her lips, but she also knew it came from her heart.

Aohi was weak to those who's got similar experiences, and she was always one to mediate and make people feel better.

Ri-ki looked back down at his lap, a shy smile on his lips at the thought of Aohi staying true to her words, someone to talk to when you feel homesick? It gave a Ri-ki a small warmth in his chest, spreading happily throughout his body.

"Hey.." Aohi caught Ri-ki's attention, making him look up. The girl gently offered her closed fist, a truce of some sorts, a fist bump.

Ri-ki happily took the offer, raising his own fist and bump it against hers, their rings clanking against each other, a dull 'clink!' being heard.

"You're not so bad." Aohi amusingly spoke, a soft smile on her face. "And you're really pretty, noona." Ri-ki replied, mirroring Aohi's smile with his own lips.

It was the way Aohi almost choked on her own spit had she not caught herself. "Yah! Ri-ki-san!" Aohi jokingly scoffed, slapping his shoulder, a form of expressing amusement.

"What was that for?"

"I thought I should just let you know, it was a compliment!" Ri-ki giggled, his smile turning from mirroring Aohi's to one of mischief.

"You don't just tell girls they're pretty, Ki-ah." Aohi smoothly used a nickname she made for the younger boy at the spot, making Ri-ki buzz at the new nickname.

"They'll think you're in love with them and then they'll fall in love with you!" Aohi jokingly scolded the younger boy, Ri-ki's cheeks flushing as he realized.

Aohi's cheeks weren't any different though, despite being a rising idol, she still wasn't used to the compliments anyone gave her.

"Well, are you?" Ri-ki asked, his mischevious grin turning to that of a soft happy one. Ri-ki felt relieved to smile like that for a bit, epseically with his hyungs being down in the dumps with the girls.

Aohi snorted, unsure of his seriousness deep inside and deciding to laugh it off.

Suddenly, the easy atmosphere of the practice room was sucked out, when Jake returned, a weird look on his face. Aohi and Ri-ki instantly jumped away from each other, just now noticing their close proximity.

"Manager wants us up." Jake spoke slowly, still suspicious of the two and what he had possibly walked in on.

"Well, that's us," Aohi replied, standing up and dusting off the imaginary dust on her pants.

"C'mon, Ki-ah."

"Ki-ah?" Jake mumbled, his eyebrows furrowed as he stared at Ri-ki and Aohi, just what happened while he was gone that the two were all buddy-buddy?

Ri-ki just nods, standing up as well, using the wall as a support. Aohi looked on with a slight smile on her face, she was satisfied that she didn't have to fight with one of the boys today. (except Jake, of course.)

It meant, to her, that she was making progress, and she was happy with that.

Aohi hopes that Ri-ki's friendliness wouldn't last just for that day, because she intends to keep her promise to Ri-ki, and it can't happen if they're going back to being awkward.

She walks towards the door, bag in hand as Ri-ki tailed after he like a puppy. Ri-ki and Aohi left that room giggling with each other like the teens they were.

Jake just looked at the pair, tilting his head like a confused dog.

For once, Aohi thinks, that maybe, just maybe, the boys could learn to accept her.

[seenoversundown]

Somewhere

Josh Kiszka x Harper (Gender Neutral OC)

Warnings: FLUFFFFFF & some gentle flirty bullying

Word Count: 1.6k

Author's Note: just a sweet little thing for our sweet little man 🥰

🩷 🩷 🩷

Harper POV 

Nothing about Valentine's Day sounded appealing this year. 

Josh and I have been together for a little over a year, but he ended up having to move for a job and now we only get to see each other every few weeks. Unfortunately for us both, this was not a weekend he could swing. 

Him being the way he is insisted we would make the best of it, promising to spend as much time as we could on Facetime so at minimum, we were looking at each other. 

“I know it isn’t as good as being in person,” he sighed. “But, at least it’s something?”

I have spent the past few days trying not to be bummed out but when our group of friends invited me to a local carnival that night, I knew I would be the only one without their partner. So, I graciously declined.. privately in a message to the girl who invited us. I don’t want the pity from the rest of our groupchat. 

It being the day before, I went about my typical routine; wake up, drink the biggest mug of coffee, mentally prepare myself for work, and then get dressed and leave. Generally speaking, Josh and I would text throughout the day and then call or facetime once we’re both finally home for the evening. 

Work felt endless— possibly because I knew what was to come when I got home. Or knowing I had the next day off, regardless of the fact I would just be at home. Alone. I’m not usually this bitter, especially over a Hallmark holiday, but it had been a couple weeks since I had seen Josh in person and it had definitely started to wear on me. 

At least I’ll be graced with his sweet smile all day tomorrow. 

Pulling into my driveway, I let out a deep sigh. Quickly grabbing all my things and making my way to the door. Wiggling my key into the doorknob, it’s unlocked? I stare at my door for a second, trying to decide if I forgot to lock it when I left or if I’m about to meet my maker. 

“Hello?” My voice shakes as I open my front door, creeping through it slowly. Not seeing anything or anyone, but noticing the light is on in my kitchen. 

My hallway has never felt longer than in this moment. 

As I’m about to come around the corner, a voice startles me. 

“Well hi there,” Josh’s voice rings through my empty house. Leant against the counter, a smug little smile on his lips. 

My jaw drops, and I look around for a moment but my attention falls back on him. 

“Wait-“ I start, setting my things down on the island. “How? Your car isn’t here?” Walking straight into him, wrapping my arms around him tightly. 

His chest shakes with a laugh, “I parked at Jake’s and he dropped me off.” 

“Oh my god,” I breathe out, leaning back and touching his face. “Hi.” 

“Hey,” he whispered, as his plump lips found mine. “I couldn’t go another week before coming back, so I moved some things around.” 

“I missed you,” I tell him, pecking his lips. “I’m so,” kiss, “glad,” kiss, “you could be here,” kiss, kiss, kiss. 

His laugh in between kisses made my heart flutter, managing to get out, “I missed you too.”

We spent the rest of the evening glued to each other. Cooking dinner practically holding hands and falling into the couch to put on whatever shitty movie we could find, because we weren’t going to watch it anyway. 

❤️ ❤️ ❤️

Waking up with Josh meant staying tangled up in the sheets for a while. Our visits were so few and far between, that we would soak up any chance we had to just be. 

“We should probably get up soon,” he mumbles, his voice still laced with sleep. “Need to make sure you're fed and caffeinated for later.” 

“What are we doing?” I ask, propping myself up on an elbow to look at him. 

His hand brushing my hair out of my face, “Well, we were invited to the carnival, no?” 

“I told Kira we wouldn’t make it,” I cringe as it leaves my mouth. 

He smiles even wider, “Good thing I let her know the moment I got my work stuff sorted out.” 

Falling dramatically into the pillow, I let out, “How are all of you so good at secrets?!” 

“Is it that we’re good at secrets or that you, my love, are not the most observant sometimes?” 

Gasping at his comment and smacking him with a rogue pillow, I just watch as he dies from laughter. Shaking my head when I say, “You’re lucky you’re pretty, Joshua.” 

Hours later, finally dressed, fed, and caffeinated, we head over to where the carnival is. Josh insisted on driving us since he technically agreed to the plans. And to be frank, I’ll never turn down the opportunity to watch his performance whenever we’re in the car. 

Approximately four show tunes later, including a dance number, we made it. 

“You know,” he says as we’re getting out of the car. “More people should get on the West Side Story train, is all I’m saying.” 

“Josh, honey, we all have enjoyed West Side Story..” my voice trailed off. “When we were in fourth grade..” 

He stops dead in his tracks, holding a hand out toward me, “Harper, I need you to put that back in your mouth.” 

Not the government name. Throwing my hands up, “My bad.” 

“That’s fucking right, you’re bad!” He barks out, a smirk on his face. Wrapping his arm around my shoulders as we walk towards the entrance, I listen to every single reason why West Side Story is a perfectly fine musical. 

All of our friends waited at the entrance for us so we could say hello, but nature's way will always take over, which means we all just paired off once we got inside. 

“Where to first?” He rasps, squeezing my hand gently. 

Gazing around at all the lights from the rides and food booths, the sounds of children laughing, the smell of fresh popcorn. 

“Whatever sounds fun to you,” I tell him, looking over. “I’m just happy you’re here.”

And it’s true— I would gladly follow Josh around all night doing whatever it is that he wants because it means I get to be with him. 

We wandered around for a while, hand in hand, just weighing out what our options were. Finding somewhere to grab a beer to share, neither one of us wanted to drink too much before Josh inevitably dragged me onto a ride. 

It’s not that I don’t like rides, but the fact these carnival rides can be put together in like an hour doesn’t sit well with me. He’s just lucky I love him enough to muscle through it. 

“You would pick the most terrifying option,” I let out under my breath. 

His hand squeezing mine, “Guess you’ll just have to sit close.” 

Looking up at the rickety ferris wheel, trying to not panic at the possibilities. He just tugs me along, still humming that one Officer Krupke song from the car. 

When it's finally our turn, Josh death grips my hand as I step into the middle of the pod-seat-thing, sitting as close to him as I could. If I could be in his skin, I would be.

“See it’s not that bad,” he says, his arm stretched out behind me. 

My body tense as can be, my head slowly turns to him as we slow to a complete halt at the very top of the wheel.

“Okay so I have bad timing,” he laughs. “Though while we’re trapped up here.” 

“Can you not say trapped while we’re a million feet in the air?” I ask, slightly panicked. 

He smiles and his hand creeps down onto my shoulder, “I have been withholding information.” 

My eyebrows shot up. The air is silent somehow, but only for a second when I bark out, “Continue?” 

“What if I told you that—“ he starts, pausing for the drama as usual. “I’ll be able to work remotely as of next month..” 

“Like full time?” 

He nods, “I may have to go in every so often, but I’d have clear warning.. which means..” 

If I could jump up from this seat, I’d be in the stars. 

“Oh my god,” I let out, my hands coming up to cover my mouth. “You can live here?” 

He grabs my hands, littering kisses across my knuckles. “That’s right, baby. I’ll be able to pester you all the time.” 

My heart feels like it could explode. We both knew that when Josh took the job, that he would be traveling a lot, but neither of us really knew what to expect when it came to managing our relationship alongside it. Endless FaceTime calls and a constant stream of texts, but it’ll all be over in a mere few weeks. 

“Move in with me,” I blurt out. 

And for the first time in our relationship, I think he was speechless. 

“Seriously?” 

I hesitate, but the smile creeps onto my face, “Dead serious.” 

His hands hold the sides of my face as he plants the sweetest kiss against my lips. A feeling that will never get old. Mumbling, “Okay, let’s do it then.” 

The wheel starts to slow down with us near the top, yet again. But we’re too busy to notice. 

“I love you,” I laugh out against him. 

He pulls back, looking at me, “I love you, too.” 

Settling back into the seat, we stared off into the distance since we were “trapped” again. Enjoying the quiet as I tuck myself under his arm, until his pipes up after a few minutes. 

“And you thought today would be terrible.” 

I’ve never been happier to be wrong. 

❤️ ❤️ ❤️

Masterlist

Taglist:

@gvfsstardust @myleftsock @imleavingyoufornewyork @dont-go-home-without-me

@literal-dead-leaf @mackalah @edgingthedarkness

@writingcold @i-love-gvf @takenbythemadness

@earthgrlsreasy @peaceloveunitygvf @gretavanfan

@jazzyfigz @demonrat444 @josh-iamyour-mama @wrldabomination

@gvf-luna @lilbitx @gvfstuddedmajesty @katuschka @sanguinebats

@lightmy-love @myownparadise96 @cheersdannyx2

@lallisonl @fleetingjake @musicislove3389

[insufferable-protagonist-poll]

Insufferable Comic Relief Round 1

Propaganda why Olaf is an insufferable Comic Relief:

"He's so annoying"

"He's not cute. He's not fun. He's not funny. I wish he had melted. He likes warm hugs? What kind of eight year old builds a snowman that looks like this? Why did Elsa make him? To sell plushies?"

"He's not funny, he's annoying, and he can't read the room. I have a visceral reaction to this character, he's the only Disney comic relief character that annoys me like that."

"Being dumb isn't funny, it's just annoying"

"They're not funny, their voice is annoying, they don't bring anything to the story"

"He does not fit the aethestic of the movie, he makes unnecessary commentary, he's forced into being helpful at the END of the movie, I see his face everywhere and want to punch it and I don't like his voice actor."

"Unfunny jokes. Obnoxious voice. Incessant use of the word "butt". Plus he's hideous and really creepy looking."

Propaganda why Sisu is an insufferable Comic Relief:

"fancy mysterious dragon acts like a toddler on sugar"

"This film could have been so much better if the titular dragon was actually sincere and majestic instead of just an Awkwafina comedy routine in dragon form (which looks more like "what if Elsa made a My Little Pony OC" than an actual SEAsian-inspired dragon anyway). This character is not the ONLY thing damaging the film but the most ear-grating for sure. It's so bad that I literally felt nothing when Sisu was killed at the climax, which is probably not what the film was going for but she's SO INSUFFERABLE"

"I don’t know if she counts since she’s one of the main characters, but I hate her so much. Her voice, her “humor”, the fact that she never stops talking the entire movie, and the fact that she tells the message of the movie directly to the audience and we’re supposed to just take it at her word since she’s a main character (and the message is harmful to add insult to injury.) cheered when she died, like actually, out loud. I think that alone says enough."

"I watched TEN MINUTES of this and oh boy I kind of hate her!! Her design is ugly and uninspired! She could’ve taken more elements of Japanese culture??

Sisu makes jokes that don’t make sense considering the time period she’s in. They’re very outdated and incredibly cringe-worthy EVEN BACK THEN (like Ralph breaks the internet)

She also keeps nagging Raya and this is awful because she’s one of two main characters present. I could NOT sit through this movie. "

[novemberdrift]

'𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙨 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙩'| colby brock x male oc

a/n: enjoy ;) summary: sam, colby, corey and jake plan to go to the witches forest, little do they know, they’ll meet a friend of jennifers. he’s a lonely medium studying witchcraft, what happens when colby starts to feel a pull towards him? his feelings confuse him, and make him question himself. 

words: 8.8k (TOO FUCKING MANY, i got lost in the sauce🫠)

sam sat on his couch, dialing the number of the woman him and colby met at the stanley hotel. the latter began to film as she picked up. 

“hello?”

“hi is this jennifer?” they shared a look towards eachother, acknowledging the awkwardness.

“yes, this is she.” 

“sweet uh.. about that forest, was that a legit offer? colby and i have been talking over the past few weeks and maybe.. are you in la now?” he asked, curiously.

“yeah i am”

“cool so maybe tomorrow or later this week we could meet up, and we’d probably be filming it so if that’s cool with you, you could tell us more like about what the forest is and then maybe like find time to schedule to go out there or something?”

“yeah we can meet up.” jennifer said ominously. 

“okay cool, maybe tomorrow we’ll schedule a time then.” sam started to laugh from the awkwardness, and immediately after the phone call was over he threw the phone onto the table and freaked out. “why is it so awkward?” he cringed.

“everytime we talk to her.” colby chuckles.

they both start talking to the camera about their plans with the witches forest, and planning a whereabouts for the meetup. 

a day had past, and sam, colby and jake were in the car, driving to the area where they were supposed to meet up with jennifer. colby had parked very close to another car in attempts to not be in the way of someones driveway. “can’t park in this driveway brother, gonna get a ticket.”

“can’t go to jail again.” sam laughs.

“we’re in a neighborhood, it’s not that sketchy.” sam commented, as they all start talking about how creepy this whole situation was, joking about getting murdered. 

they walk into the park, and they look around until they see two people sitting at a park bench. “hey!” sam calls out, as he sees them. “nice to see you again!” he goes in for a hug with jennifer. 

“how was the shoot and everything?” he asked.

“it was good.” she responded, nodding her head, before looking over to her friend, the guy next to her. jennifer didn’t really care about meeting up with strangers but elias, found it sketchy, so he decided to come along as some sort of backup.

“hey, i’m elias, good to meet you.” he shook hands with the person closest to him, colby. 

“nice to meet you too.” colby smiled, curious about the guy infront of him. he looked pretty cool, his sense in fashion was definitely something out of a vintage movie. his hair was dark brown, about medium length. he had brown circle glasses pushed towards his nose, contrasting his freckled face. 

from what he was wearing, you could see a few tattoos under his sleeves, along with a few different ear piercings. ‘damn this guy is cool’ he felt like some kind of fangirl.

as sam talked to jennifer, colby starting asking questions to the other. “are you also into the paranormal?”

“yeah. i grew up around it my entire life, and now it just seeks me out i guess.” he chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “how’d you get into it?”

“that’s the same as one of my friends, corey.” he acknowledges. “honestly it’s not that exciting, me and my buddy sam would explore like abandoned places and stuff then it became haunted areas and now we think we’re haunted.”

“that’s cool.” suddenly jake climbs onto the picnic table, creating a thud sound. “jesus jake.” colby laughed.

“so do you guys chill at the park often?” jake tries to make conversation with the two.

“yeah.” they answer at the same time. the camera is held facing jennifer as she begins to explain why the cabin is haunted, and why it’s called the witches forest. 

“you really have to figure it out yourself.” elias commented, chuckling. 

“so you’ve been there too?” sam interrogates him. 

“you could say that, i also own a cabin about a mile out.”

“would you say it’s haunted?”

“oh definitely, in 1946 a couple moved into the cabin and after a few years they started like experiencing financial issues, and it caused a lot of stress between them and eventually the husband started drinking, and one night he killed his pregnant wife before shooting himself in the head.” elias smirked, watching their jaws drop. “let’s just say i’m not legally able to rent it out anymore because of what happened to the last guests we had.”

“holy shit.” sam looked to the guys, with wide eyes. 

“that’s actually insane.” colby said, rubbing his eye. “so do you live there or just use it as a vacation spot?”

“bit of both honestly, the spirits don’t bother me much. i was just there a few days ago and i stayed about three months, left with tons of scratches and stuff.” elias explained.

“do you still have visible marks?” 

“yeah, the longest one is on my leg, i can show you if you like.” the guys nodded, so he stands up and props his leg on the park bench, before rolling up his black pants. quickly a red shiny scratch is visible. it starts at his ankle and goes underneath his thigh. “it’s one of the weirder marks i’ve gotten. it’s shiny and feels almost like a burn, like blistered over and stuff.”

“holy shit, that’s crazy.” jake muttered.

“i don’t know if we should do this anymore.” colby laughs, jokingly crying.

“so on a scale of one to ten, how is this a good idea or are we going to die.” sam wondered.

“let’s just say it’s scarier then the stanley hotel.” jennifer answered.

“is that the key?” jake zooms into colby holding the key to the cabin. colby pauses for a second, having an idea. “would you let us see your cabin?” he asks to elias.

“uhh, i don’t know, i would have to be there to supervise.” “not just because i don’t know you, but also for you’re protection. the spirits know me well, even the negative ones, they don’t like other people.”

“jesus.” colby mumbles. “is that why you can’t rent it out anymore.” he nods slowly.

“we have a friend out there that we met from the summer camp thing. a few of them are still there. elias can probably get in contact with one of them to help you out. since they’re both wiccans.”

“so you’re friend is a... wait you’re a wiccan?” sam asks towards elias, pointing the camera in his direction, receiving a half nod. 

“after i became a medium it slowly transitioned into exploring witchcraft, i wouldn’t like 100% consider myself a wiccan but i do partake in that stuff.” he holds up his pagan necklace. 

“wow, so does your friend live around the cabin?” 

“yeah.” 

“now i see why it’s called witches forest.” sam laughed hesitantly. 

“so a lot of people there are wiccans i’m assuming?” colby asks, before receiving a nod. “witches forest, wiccans.” he does a weird voice to express how crazy this situation is.

“this is awesome, thank you so much for this, we would probably just of done another hotel video.” sam thanked her. “should we call corey?” he asks to the guys.

everyone begins to say goodbye, colby hugging jennifer and elias. “we’ll let you know how it goes.”

“but uh, i just wanted to say, i haven’t been there in awhile so be careful.” jennifer calls out to them.

jennifer and elias start walking back to their apartment. he glances towards the group they had just encountered. “they seem cool, colby’s pretty nice.”

“yeah i guess. i’m surprised you didn’t give them the key.”

“first, they’re strangers, second, they seem like novices, i don’t want their deaths to be on my hands.” elias joked.

“you could’ve gone with them.” she shrugs. elias pauses for a moment, thinking about it. maybe he should. they are trying to find the most haunted areas.. 

“i’ll think about it.”

it was early morning of the next day, and elias had been messaging with colby since he woke up talking about whether or not he should go up with them. colby has been trying to persuade him, borderline begging him to come. they think it would be awesome for the video and their paranormal experience. 

and secretly colby just wants to get to know him as well.

the four boys were in their car, on the way to the first house, to talk to a wiccan who is offering a reading, and more information on the witches forest.

“i was thinking about what the physic said a lot last night, about how corey and i are in danger, and i think they could be right. i hope we have service because we’ve never been in this forest, who knows, like what if we get lost right? that’s why i think bringing elias, who knows the area could be helpful.”

“honestly yeah, and he seems like a cool dude so.” jake shrugs, agreeing with the idea. corey then calls and agrees to come, making everyone so much more relieved. 

“let’s just act like we’re going to a cabin in the woods.” corey says, trying to lighten the mood as he gets into the car.  

they keep on driving, about twenty minutes out, pulling over only to get jake some food because he kept complaining about being hungry. they pull into a burger king, and grab some food. colby suggests sitting at a table so he can fill both corey and the viewers in about elias and the other wiccan.

“just to catch everyone up, we got some food and we are ten minutes away from the forest!” sam starts it off.

“i’ve been texting with both this wiccan and elias, who agreed on meeting us, but they want to meet us at her house. she was just like ‘yeah swing by, and i’ll show you my tarot cards and stuff.’” 

“well, let’s hope we don’t die.”

they walk out to the parking lot, and talk a bit more, explaining to corey. “me, colby, and jake met up with jennifer and this new guy, elias, so the reason why he’s texting to this random wiccan is because they’re friends, them two would meet up with her at summer camp, and she’s going to tell us about the area.” sam said.

as they start driving, they encounter the fog of the mountains, and they struggle to see out the window.

“yeah, elias is going to be with the wiccan, so atleast it’s not like we’re by ourselves with a complete stranger.” colby mentioned.

“well we don’t really know him either.”

“better then completely alone though.” he shrugged, continuing to drive until google maps said he was at the correct address.

“so what have they told you?” sam asked. 

“nothing really, just gave us the address and said see you then.” colby explained, shutting the car door. they walked up to the door, not even having to knock before someone opened the door. “hey colby!” elias said, arm on the door. 

“yoo hey.” colby gave a hug before smiling. “thanks for taking up our offer on this, having you here and talk about some of the stuff is super great for the video.” 

colby felt nervous, seeing elias stand confidentially at the door, he looked more relaxed today, grey sweatpants, black hoodie and his usual brown glasses. you can tell he wasn’t planning on coming. 

in the light, it was much easier to see his face. he also realized elias’ hair was slightly curly. 

“yeah it’s no problem.” elias said as the other wiccan presented herself. “good to see you again.” 

“hey, how are you guys?” she asked. “wanna come in? if you don’t mind i’ll have to sage you though.”

“yeah it’s no problem.”

after the boys were saged, they sat around the table and began to talk about the witches forest. “so why is it called witches forest?” sam asked, getting down to business. 

“there’s a lot of rituals that go on in this area, it used to be a spot with mobsters, there’s a lot of satanic rituals, which aren’t as bad or evil as you would think.” elias nods along, agreeing with her. 

“so you guys would consider yourselves wiccans in the way that you both study witchcraft. 

“yes, i identify as a wiccan, but i feel like it has a different perception of what you would think.”

“okay so can you explain that to us.” sam asked.

“i like to live my life by the moon cycles, so full moon would be a time of like creativity and energy, where as new moon is more introspective and..” she trails off as the door opens for the second time. 

“we’re trying to spend the night here, in the forest. do you think that’s a good idea or bad idea?”

elias grimances, shaking his head. 

“what’s that supposed to mean?!” corey fake cries.

“a lot of people have died up there.. not recently so i don’t think you’ll die.” she says positively. “if you want we can do a little tarot reading.” she suggests, waving over elias to help her with it.

“tarot reading?” colby repeats asking for clarification. 

“tarot cards really tell you what you’re feeling subconsciously, and they help give insight into the past, your future, or the present. and basically however you relate to the card, it tells you what’s going on with your inner-self or stuff you may be doing.” he explains, before sageing the cards.

“this basically helps to detach anything thats holding onto the cards, so for example, the past readings she’s done, it’s possible that those readings could effect yours. so when i sage the cards, it clears anything on them.” he hands over the cards to colby, who passes them to sam, to jake and then to corey, to get their presence onto the cards.

she takes the cards and sets them onto the table. a few gasps come from the guys after seeing the death card, “none of these are bad, so don’t be afraid.”

“the tower is an iffy card in my opinion, so it means danger and destruction, it’s basically like a very sudden unforeseen change, which means you have to rebuild. it can lead to the next chapter of your life. so it starts out negative and eventually it leads to rebuilding which is positive.” elias explains.

“yeah and chaos isn’t always a bad thing, which relates to the death card.” she taps onto it. 

“the next chapter of my life is death?” sam asked.

“no.” elias answered shortly. “the death card will almost never mean death or represent anything like that. it’s typically more like the end of an era, so it implies new beginnings. it also is commonly known as the card that describes self awareness.” he was briefly interrupted by a bang upstairs.

“this card is all about fear and anxiety.” she points out. “but not a real fear, more like you’re worrying about something too much. like it’s in your head, like when you can’t sleep and you’re terrified but it’s not something that you should be worrying about. it’s more like you’re imagining something, like making up a problem.”

“like making conspiracy theories about yourself.” jake adds in, earning weird looks from colby and sam.

“just being scared of something that isn’t that big of a deal, like you’re more afraid then you need to be.” elias adds.

“that’s basically our group.” sam comments.

they talked more about the different chapters of their life, corey refusing to do more tarot. she gave more advice on how to keep the guys safe at their campsite, like taking the sage, having a ring of salt and holding hands.

elias watches as they huddle into the corner of the room and talk about some of their plans together. “honestly guys, i don’t know if i can do this.” corey admits. “this shit is crazy, we don’t need more spirits trapped with us.”

“i think we just have to hurry up because it’s a few hours from sundown, and we don’t know the area too well, i don’t want us to get lost.” sam comments.

“do you think we should invite elias?” colby asked.

“brother, now why would we do that.” corey said, shaking his head.

“he knows the area, and i think he would be awesome for content, he can tell us more stories, we can get to know him and maybe do more ghost stuff with him in the future.” 

“i’m down.” jake shrugs.

“we don’t know him very well, but i do think he’d be beneficial for this.” sam doesn’t seem to care that much.

“okay well i won’t invite him if you guy’s arent sure.” they all to look corey. 

“fine, but i swear to god if he murders us, i’m going to murder you again.”

“okay awesome!” colby walks away from the guys and up to elias. “i was wondering if you wanted to come with us, like to our campsite.”

“oh. uhh, i mean i guess i could hang for a bit, but it would probably be weird to stay the night with you guys. my cabin isn’t too far away in the forest so i’ll go back there once you guys are settled in.”

“we’d be chill if you wanted to stay the night in a tent beside us or something, but it’s cool if not.”

“i’ll figure it out later.” he shrugs, and follows the guys to the car. elias sits in the passenger seat, sam giving it up to sit in the back, so he didn’t have to sit squished next to strangers.

they began to drive in the direction of witches forest, taking a right turn onto a gravel road. 

“so where do you suggest us staying the night exactly?” 

“well i would say definitely be near one of the main roads, so you’re near your car, but as in area, if you keep going down here, there’s some pretty flat ground with trees surrounding it.” elias points in the right direction.

they pull into a blank area, and start gathering their stuff. “just down this way.” he leads, while helping carrying one of their bags. 

“awesome, thank you.” sam thanks him, actually kind of surprised how much this stranger was helping them.

“do you need help setting up your tent, or?” he wondered.

“uhh..” jake mumbled, knowing he’s never put up a tent in his life. 

“that is a possibility.” sam chuckles. ”so like, did you group up in california or elsewhere?” he took what colby said earlier, about getting to know him, and ran with it.

“oh uh, no i grew up in a small town out of seattle, but i moved to la when i was 17.” elias answered, feeling a bit uncomfortable.

“oh cool. why’d you leave seattle?” jake asked.

“just bad memories i guess.” he took a deep breath. “the house i grew up in.. my brother he died there when i was 6. his death brought me into the paranormal world.”

“oh, i’m sorry for your loss.” colby commented, beginning to build the tent.

“don’t be.” elias laughed it off. “it was a pretty natural death, he was born with heart complications, honestly a miracle he lived till 14. he was very positive and i’m sure he wouldn’t want people mourning, so i choose not to i guess.”

“that’s a good way to look at it.” colby smiled at the other. colby took a liking to him, he wasn’t sure why though but it felt like something was pushing him to get to know him.

“so you said you’re a medium?” corey asked, helping colby with the tent.

“yeah, the thing with my brother, it guided me to other spirits and i just kind of fell into it all. i feel things more the most people, i hear more, i sense more.” he paused. “i don’t feel any presences here but i feel sadness and regret.”

“that’s honestly really cool, so to become a medium does it need to be something that happens to you or can you like learn and study to become one?” colby asked, setting up the camera on a camping chair, pointed to elias.

“in my opinion it has to come to you, you can’t work for it. if you are gifted with the ability you can learn and study to enhance it but you can’t force it.”

“the tent’s looking good.” corey nodded towards it. “but i swear to god i don’t want to sleep here.” he begs, making everyone laugh.

once everything was set up, and looking good, elias decided to leave. “i’ll probably head up to the cabin.” he says, rubbing the back of his neck.

“yo, you sure?” jake asks, actually wanting him to stay. in the past few hours they’ve all been vibing pretty hard.

“yeah no pressure to leave.” colby said, giving him a smile. 

“i don’t wanna intrude too much on your video or anything, but feel free to come to the cabin if you have any problems or something crazy happens. can’t promise staying at the cabin will be any better but still. i have wifi, hot water, beds, all that stuff so don’t be shy.” elias smiled back.

“alright, thank you.” sam nodded. 

“make sure to say goodbye before you leave though!” elias called out, as he walked away. 

“bye!” colby shouted.

“cya!” jake yelled.

“dude, you’re staring.” corey pointed out, laughing at his friend. colby turned to look at him, before rolling his eyes.

“shut up, i just think he’s cool.”

corey winked to sam and jake, them chuckling to eachother.

it was hours later, maybe 3 or 4, and elias was in his cabin, drinking a glass of wine, while reading one of the books from the old bookshelf. his days here were simple. he’d tend to the plants, garden, read some books and drink wine. he wish he had a more extroverted life, and would sometimes regret missing out on opportunities. such as hanging out with the guys back at the campsite. 

he wondered why he didn’t just stay, when they were clearly okay with him there, but he was still unfortunately a stranger. they were okay with him there, but they didn’t want him there. 

‘god i need friends’, he thought. he’s been so lonely, his only friend being jennifer, and they weren’t all that close anymore since he’s started studying witchcraft. elias has only had a few friends in his lifetime, people thinking he’s weird or abnormal for his interests and gifts, and he’s only been in one relationship which ended around 6 months. 

he honestly hasn’t felt that interested in people, elias finds them too generic, but he did take interest in the group. no matter how goofy they all seemed, they were cool. especially colby, he seemed to care the most. and he was kinda cute so that’s a plus. but he was probably straight.

he paused, hearing a bang upstairs, before sighing. his only friends are the spirits of the forest. he took his glasses off and gave them a rub, as they got a bit foggy. 

‘maybe a bath will ease my mind’ as he began to run a bath he heard a scream for help. his eyes widened at the voice, that was definitely colby. 

“help!” it was a gut-retching scream. elias turned off the bath, and as he was running to the front door, he turned the outside lights on, immediately lighting up the area. 

“colby?!” he called out, opening the door. 

“elias?!” suddenly, he came into view. “holy fuck, thank god.” he sighed, relieved. he rushed to the door. 

“what the hell happened out there? where is everyone?”

“i-i i got lost, i don’t know where i am, i was chasing after a shadow and i thought sam and jake were after me but i went in circles and i walked for so long it’s been like 15 minutes and i don’t know where they are.”

“woah, colby are you hurt?” elias reaches out to the others side, seeing a few smaller scratches. he gently touches them, earning a hiss out of colby.

“ouch.” he chuckles. “anyways, i really need help finding them, i don’t know what the fuck happened.”

“you said you saw a shadow figure? was it just a shadow or were there any visible descriptions?”

“just a shadow.” he shrugs, shivering a bit. 

“theres been a few people spotting shadows around here, a lot of people think one of the main shadows, it’s of a larger male and it’s predicted that it’s the spirit of the husband i told you guys about earlier, and that he’s stuck in this forest as punishment.”

“jesus.” colby exhales. 

“here, come in for a second, i’ll get you a heavier jacket and i’ll get a bandage for your side.”

“oh, thank you so much.” colby rubs his neck, awkwardly standing in the others home. “this cabin is actually beautiful.” he said, not expecting it.

“haha yeah, i take pride in it. nobody ever is here to see how gorgeous the wood and plants are.”

“oh why’s that?”

“i just don’t have many friends.” elias said, while grabbing a few items. “gets lonely up here.”

“hey well, you can consider us friends, i think you’re cool as hell.” colby smiles, taking the jacket, and putting it over his shoulder. “it would be awesome to have you come with us to other haunted places.”

“i-” elias was about to decline, before he thought for a minute. he knew he would regret declining. “sure, why not.” he gestured for colby to move his arm so he could wrap his side. 

“that should do it.” he gave him a pat on the shoulder. “now, we really have to get you back to your friends, they’re probably freaking out.”

“yeah.” colby agreed, rubbing his side. 

“do you mind if i spend the night with you guys? i have a feeling.. like i can feel something bad in your future, and i don’t think it’s safe for you guys alone.”

“oh god..” colby sighed, not ready for whatever he’s talking about. elias grabbed a few more things, and shoved it into a backpack. “it would be appreciated if you stayed with us.” he laughed it off, pretending he didn’t care too much, but he actually felt pretty nervous about the idea. 

he’s never really found guys that attractive or anything but something about elias, it wasn’t even his looks, something about his personality or dare he say ‘spirit’ was alluring. colby just needed to know more, needed to get close to him.

“okay, let’s go.” he said, turning off the house lights, and turning on his flashlight. 

they walked through the forest, trying to avoid all of the unnerving noises they heard. “thank you.” elias said quietly.

“what? why?���

“because, today has been the most social interaction i’ve had in awhile.” he chuckled. they continued to walk in peaceful silence, colby instinctively walking closer to elias. they smiled to eachother, elias having to look away and blush out of sight. ‘jesus, what is happening to me.’

they walked a bit more, and finally began to see bright lantern lights, similar to colby’s. “guys!” he shouted.

“no way, colby!” corey shouted, running straight to him out of relief.

“guys!”

“holy shit it’s colby!” 

“colby!”

“what the fuck happened to you.” sam shook his head. they all looked closer and saw another person. as they got closer they realized it was elias.

“holy shit.” corey exclaimed.

“are you okay bro?” jake asked.

“the shadow person, i kept chasing it, i saw it again. it ran so i ran after it, i ended up going in circles and i got lost so i started screaming for help and i saw a cabin, thank god it was elias’.

“did you hear the scream? it was like a female scream.” sam explained. 

colby went to sit in a chair, his side aching. “no i didn’t, i scratched my side though.” he lifted his shirt to show the bandage. 

“dude, me and jake saw like a baby or something small hung.” sam said.

“bro, i looked at it, and my first thought was that it was a baby hanging, it was swaying and everything.”

“wait.. you said you saw a baby hanging?” elias looked at them in pure shock. “holy fuck.. you saw her.” he mumbled.

“what?” sam asked, eyes wide.

“what the fuck is going on.” corey shouted.

“the.. the story i told you guys, about the husband killing his pregnant wife. a few people i rented the cabin out to, they would see shadows of a hanging dead baby outside the windows.”

“holy fuck!” corey screamed, jumping before walking a few steps away.

“that is fucking crazy.” jake exclaimed, holding onto his head.

“i can’t believe this.” sam held the camera, beginning to shake. “okay, a rule, we can’t separate again.”

they began to talk about what the shadow could’ve been, talking about the biker kids they had seen earlier in the day.

“it definitely was not a biker, you would’ve heard it a mile away, and nobody just goes for a walk in the middle of the night.” elias shakes his head in disbelief at the situation. 

“i’m not staying out here any longer.” jake says, running into the tent. everyone else begins to pack away their stuff, making sure that if they got scared again, they could leave without having to worry about their scattered belongings. 

sam pulls out the camera once everything is put away, and gives the viewers a quick update. “just a little update guys, we did clean up our entire campsite, and now we’re going to chill in here for a little bit, because we don’t know what’s out here.” he gestures inside the tent.

“is it alright if i stay here? i don’t feel like walking back to the cabin.” he asks.

“oh yeah of course.” sam practically invites him in. “you’ll just have to deal with our gross selves.”

“i think i’ll be fine, i was a babysitter for 3 years of my life.” he joked, earning laughs from everyone.

a small fight ensues about sleeping bags with the guys, and elias sits off to the side of the tent, not wanting to get too close and make anyone uncomfortable. he watches as colby pokes around at corey’s pocket. 

“brotherrrr, scared the fuck outta me.” corey cries out. “it’s either colby hitting on me again or a ghost.” elias laughed at that.

“i like to use shrek’s belly as a pillow.” jake mumbles, away from the drama.

a few minutes go by, and bugs in the tent frighten elias, while sam and colby start swatting at them before jake and corey talk about the white people face. elias, guilty of making that face more then once tonight.

the rest of the night was filled with fivesome jokes, jake playing with shrek into the camera, dance parties, sam touching more spiders in the tent, and colby trying to rest his eyes.

he originally laid near corey, between him and elias. he was resting on the end of his sleeping bag, feeling exhausted with the night so far. after another bug was squashed, they placed the camera back in the center of everyone.

elias was the closest to the camera, slightly out of frame, colby close by, corey leaning to the front, jake beside him, and sam on the other side also out of frame. “who keeps farting?” colby asked jokingly annoyed.

“yo what is that smell bro.” colby started cringing, holding his nose, causing everyone to laugh, corey the most.

“who farted dude?” jake commented about the smell looking towards sam.

“i don’t smell anything.” he shrugged carelessly, elias agreeing with him.

“yeah cause it was you!” 

“someone ripped ass, and it was me two minutes ago.” corey revealed, laughing like a madman. 

“my face was right by your asshole!” colby shouted, making a disgusted face to the camera before slowly shuffling away from the guy, and closer to elias. he dramatically collapsed onto elias’ leg and begged him not to do the same.

colby found his leg oddly comfortable, holding onto it like a pillow. he didn’t want to get too over the top and make elias uncomfortable, so tried to stay away from the boys lap.

then, it was back to jake putting shrek up to the camera, pretending to ring an imaginary doorbell. 

“look guys, stop recording if we’re actually going to fuck.” corey pulled his sleeping bag over his face.

“yeah i don’t wanna be on camera.” elias said, holding his hands up, making everyone snicker. it was kind of awesome how they could go from complete strangers, thinking eachother was creepy, to then making jokes like this.

speaking of jokes, everyone made comments about colby and how he was sleeping all cuddly on the other, and god was it unbearable. 

it was awkward, and uncomfortable but oddly enough, the friendly teasing felt better then being alone, so he dealt with it, and listened to corey’s little story about the boys and the shadowman. 

suddenly, noises started getting louder. exhales, footsteps, bangings. corey felt uncomfortable, and kept demanding to leave the tent. everyone paused, trying to listen to the surrounding sounds, sam hearing a car, and elias hearing thuds. 

“yo, should we just try to go to sleep?” colby asked, genuinely really tired.

“uh, no.” corey answered like it was obvious

elias felt the need to interrupt. “listen, the noises are obviously scary and whatever, but you need to understand that you guys are overthinking. think back to the tarot cards. you are scaring yourselves.” he tried to explain, as a way to calm them down.

it definitely didn’t work, corey hearing another exhale, and telling everyone to get out of the tent as a safety precaution. 

eventually everyone began to rush out of the tent, into darkness, sam screaming for someone to get a light. elias put on his glasses, and grabbed a flashlight, pointing it around the camp.

he heard rustling coming from a near bush and started walking up to it, he peeked around trying to find what the noise could’ve been. “elias, hurry up!” sam called, as everyone began running to the car. 

he caught up to them, not caring anymore and jumping in the back with jake and corey. “holy fuck.” he exhaled. “where are we going?”

“jennifer’s cabin.” corey replied, nodding at the idea.

sam’s phone started to ring as colby was driving on a tight road. “yo, yo, look!” he answered the call, everyone hearing absolute gibberish. it was random noises, deep exhales and other strange noises.

“that sounds like someone fucking with us.” colby stated, as sam talked about telling all his friends he was coming here.

“holy shit, i don’t think it’s someone pranking you guys.” elias stared, wide eyed at his phone before holding it up so everyone could see. 

“fuck.” jake muttered. “answer! answer!”

elias answered the call, putting it on speaker phone. the sounds coming from his call was much different from sam’s. these, sounded like chants, as if a huge group of people were shouting into the phone, cursing the boy. “guys, what the fuck is this.” he had experienced everything, but never has he gotten no caller id calls, with scary ass chants. “are you fucking with me right now?” he asked the group, tears welling in his eyes.

“no! no! of course not!” colby assured him. “we don’t do shit like that.”

he pulled into the driveway of jennifer’s cabin, immediately opening the doors and seeing the pouring rain. at the door, jake started shaking the water off of him, complaining about being wet.

quickly, elias could see sam was struggling. he was digging through his bag trying to find the key. he was beginning to panic, and everyone was starting to realize. 

“wait you don’t have the key?” corey questioned, getting nervous. “sam.” he sighed.

“was it in your pockets or the backpack?” colby asked.

“when do you remember last having it?” jake watched as sam patted his pockets.

“n-no i had it today, i showed the girl that jennifer gave me the key.” he defended. “here, just check the car, i swear, i have it.” 

“really try to remember, did you put it in your bag or your pockets?” colby kept pushing.

sam frantically looked around the car as the others judged him, complaining and blaming him for losing the key. “hey honestly sam, don’t worry about it, it’s just a mistake.” elias tried to reassure him everything was fine, only for corey to say something.

“i thought.. it’s either here or in the backpack.. unless is it in our bags? should we check the trunk?” everyone was freaking out, and elias stood there awkwardly watching. he felt bad for sam.. he could feel the sadness and guilt dripping off of him.

“we need this key. we can’t get in. dude jennifer trusted us with this key, you can’t-”

“is this the only key?” “sam, are you fucking serious, dude. i’m not trying to be rude, but first you lowkey lost colby, and now you don’t have the key. i’m just saying, this is why i don’t like doing this type of shit.” corey raised his voice. 

jake and corey agreed they didn’t want to go back to the tent, as colby kept filming. elias took a breath before saying excuse me and pulling sam to the side. 

sam looked confused, but his guilt was overtaking it. “what?” he looked at the other, wondering why he dragged him a few feet away. 

“dude, don’t listen to them, losing the key, like i said is a simple mistake, any of them could have done it, they’re not upset at you, they’re just upset at the cirumstances. but you’re forgetting i have a place just a few minutes away.” elias tried calming him down, seeing tears well in his eyes. he could tell sam wasn’t one that could deal with being yelled at.

“it’s not anything big, it’s a two bedroom with a pull out couch.” elias shrugged. “please just accept my offer, alright?” sam nodded, wiping any sort of water away from his eyes.

“thank you elias, really.” sam suddenly grabbed onto him, giving him a side hug. 

“no worries.” he smiled, leading him back to the car, before they explained the plan to the others. everyone could see the disappointment in sam’s eyes, as he sat quiet in the passenger seat. 

jake whispered to elias, about what happened out there, him shaking it off as to say it was private. he guides colby down the different roads, and in a few minutes they were outside his cabin. 

“here we are!” he welcomes them inside, turning all the lights on.

“shit this is nice.” corey nodded, jumping onto the couch. 

“woah woah, take your dirty ass boots off.” elias joked, watching as he threw them off in the direction of the door.

“thank you so much for having us here.” sam smiled, setting his bag down. 

“really, don’t worry about it, i’m glad you’re here and not outside.” elias took their stuff and organized it by the doors. “okay so, there’s two bedrooms, you guys can take those if you want, i don’t mind sleeping on the couch.”

“hell no.” colby laughed, refusing to have him give up his own room in his own house.

“mkay whatever, someone can sleep in my room with me i guess, because trust me the couch is very uncomfortable to sleep on. plus the rooms are much safer. the living room is the scariest, you’ll hear the most shit out here.” he chuckled. “you guys can look around if you want, also feel free to eat anything you find, and use the wifi, passwords on the fridge.” he yawned. “i’m going the fuck to bed.” 

the guys chuckled, taking him up on that offer. 

for over half an hour, they decided to eat some of the snacks in his fridge, and taking crackers from the pantry. “god i was so hungry.” jake moaned into the leftover burger he was eating.

“okay guys, take it easy, we aren’t trying to raid their food.” colby snickered, watching as his friends ate like hungry rats. 

“yeah good point.” sam took a handful of crackers and put the box back. “should we talk about sleeping arrangements?”

“there’s no fucking way i’m sleeping on the couch or anywhere in the living room after what he said.” corey stated, heading into the direction of the guest bedroom. 

“yeahh, me neither.” jake followed after him.

“so.” colby shrugged. “do you care where you’re sleeping tonight?”

“not really, i’ve gotten to know elias pretty well so it doesn’t really matter to me.” the brunette squints at him. 

“what did you guy’s talk about?” he questions. 

“honestly, when he pulled me aside i was shocked. he like saw how overstimulated i was with the whole situation and he completely calmed me down, comforted me and everything.” he threw his arms as he was talking.

“yeah, i’m sorry about that, we were all just frustrated about the key.”

“don’t worry about it.” sam smiled. “are you and elias getting close? you were like all over him, sleeping back at the tent.” he was genuinely curious, considering he hasn’t seen his friend like this in awhile.

colby paused, thinking about everything that’s happened tonight. “honestly... i don’t know, it’s been really weird for me. i’m so confused with what im feeling.” he shook his head, so unsure.

“hm, i’ll go sleep with corey and jake.” they both nodded to that. “goodnight colby!” sam called out, walking in the same direction as the others did.

colby slowly approached elias’ room, pushing open the door gently. both bedside table lights were on, followed by a few candles around the room. he could see that the other boy was still awake. “oh hey.” he put down his book.

“hey elias. thought you were going to bed?”

“i was, heard some loud munchers in my kitchen though.” he giggled, as colby apologized. “no, honestly it’s okay, i was actually surprised how fast you guys decided to come to bed.”

elias yawned once more, stretching his arms out on the bed. “i can either sleep on the floor, make a little bed and shit, or if you’re cool i’ll just stay on the right of the bed.”

“literally don’t worry about it, not the first time i’m sleeping with a dude-” he paused, cutting himself off. “god that sounded bad.” he laughed, blushing with embarrassment. 

“wouldn’t be my first time either.” elias smirked, blowing a fake kiss before wheezing at their dumb jokes. 

colby moved closer, setting his personal backpack down and folding his jacket on the table. he shuffled towards the bed, and sat ontop of it. “i have no idea if i’m going to sleep tonight.” he sighed.

“that’s fair. it’s crazy out here. if you want we can just stay up and talk for awhile?”

“actually.. that would be nice.” colby rubbed the back of his neck. in was silent for a few seconds, him getting comfortable under the covers. “so..”

“how did you like the witches forest? scary enough for you guys?” the other asked, trying to start a good conversation.

“oh definitely one of the scariest places we’ve been to, like with the history of it and everything.”

“what other places have you been to?”

“uhh the stanley hotel, the biltmore, queen mary, cobb estate, griffin park, and we’ve explored so many creepy places, like morgues and abandoned hospitals.” colby explained.

“geez, no wonder you guys are haunted.” he laughs. 

“do you think we are? we joke about it but im genuinely curious if we are.”

elias thinks for a minute. “i don’t think you’re haunted. however, i can sense something with you. with you and corey. whatever is following you, is completely different then what is attached to corey. notice the different in words.” he points out. “i think you have gotten yourself into many negative situations, not just paranormal.” “would you consider yourself lonely, or sad?”

colby exhaled shakily. “yes, sometimes.”

“spirits love following people that are lonely, they find them to be like easy prey, vulnerable.” he emphasizes the last word. elias closes his eyes, really focusing on colby’s presence. “i think the spirit that is with you is also lonely. they are following along with you, because you are feeding into it, giving it attention. and that’s fine, but if you don’t want it with you, you have to make it clear.”

“is it friendly?” he asked.

“yes. it’s friendly. i can’t tell you where you picked this spirit up, but it’s positive, and enjoys your company. it will not hurt you-” he stops, feeling something float by him. “it will not hurt you, it doesn’t want to, that’s not it’s intent. infact, it wants to protect you. noises you might hear, when you go to a haunted area, it very well could be this spirit trying to assert dominance with other ones.”

“holy.” colby tried to calm his breathing. “this is crazy. as long as it’s friendly, then i welcome it.” “so, do you think corey’s ghost is like bad?”

“i wouldn’t say bad, but when i was sitting near him earlier, it isn’t as friendly as yours. it likes the fear that comes with scaring him, i’d even go as far as, it wants to scare him more, it wants to up it. and with that spirit challenging him, i am nervous for his health both physically and mentally.”

“jesus, i have to tell him that in the morning, he’ll probably freak.” he sighed. “it’s so cool how you can like sense this stuff, does it ever get overwhelming?”

“allll the time.” elias chuckles. “sometimes i can just be in a library back in la, and i’ll feel like some version of spirits and like all these weird emotions, and i have to leave.”

“wow i’m sorry that comes with such an amazing gift.”

“it’s okay, i feel at peace with it now. i think my brothers with me, helping me deal with it all. i think he realizes how alone i am, and has decided to follow me.” he laughs at himself. “sorry, sorry, let’s talk about something more fun.”

colby laughed along. “so do you have a girlfriend?” he wondered, making elias pause and blush lightly.

“no, i’m single.” “goes along with the loneliness, if you feel me.” he chuckled. “you?”

“same, it’s hard to date now that sam and i’s channel has blown up. a lot of people have tried to use me for like clout and stuff.” the other frowned at that, apologizing for his past experiences. “no, no it’s okay, i just hope i’ll find someone soon, i do feel you, it gets so lonely.” he fake cries.

elias sips his glass of wine, offering some to colby. “i’m a vodka and rum kinda guy.” 

and soon enough, the boys were drinking, gossiping to each other about absolutely everything. colby was a very talkative drunk it seemed. he was blabbing about his friends, girls, ghosts, anything. “so like, are you gay?” he asked.

elias spat out his wine back into the glass before turning to colby. “uh wow..” he rubbed the back of his neck. “where did that come from?”

“i-i don’t know.” colby admitted, trying to hide himself with the blanket. he really didn’t know why he asked, his weird confused feelings mixed with being drunk just made him ask, he was so curious.

“i’m bisexual.. how’d you know i was into men?” 

“i.. i didn’t.” colby mumbled into the blanket. he felt himself shaking, so nervous and anxious. he took a deep breath and exhaled aggressively before jolting up and looking right at elias. “i didn’t know you liked men but i think i do.” he rushed it out. 

“i’ve never felt anything for a guy before so i’m pretty freaked out right now and-d confused but i think i like you.” he rubs his eyes, embarrassed and uh pretty drunk.

“wait really?” he paused for a moment. ‘holy shit’ he thought. he never would have expected this, he just thought colby loved being physical with his friends from all the touches earlier in the night.

seeing that his confusing feelings were being reciprocated, it made elias the happiest he’s been in awhile. “dude, i feel the same way.”

colby stopped, completely still. both boys were completely shocked at each others confessions. 

“like i feel like i’ve known you for awhile.” elias commented.

“same.” he tried to think of what to say next, where to go from here. 

“hey.” the other touched his arm. “don’t get too nervous about this whole situation, we have plenty of time to get to know eachother, plenty of time for you to figure out everything you’re going through.” “don’t feel pressured into anything.”

colby thought for a few minutes. “thank you, i appreciate it.” “it’s.. it’s so weird feeling like this. ever since i was younger i’ve been so convinced that i’m straight, and now i’m getting all these feelings for you and it’s honestly making me scared. what if i do like you? does that mean i have to come out? tell my friends, family and viewers? what if i don’t and this is just a mistake?”

“you can.. or we can figure it out one step at a time.” elias smiled. “and by the way, never feel pressured to come out, it’s a personal and heavy thing to do.”

he shivered, tears threatening to spill. it was such a vulnerable moment for him. elias reached out to the boy, offering a hug. 

they shared a tight hug, elias rubbing his back out of comfort. 

their moment was interrupted by an incredibly loud bang, and three loud screams from the guys in the other room. “colby!” one of them shouted.

they pulled apart from their hug, just as the three barged into their room. “did you fucking hear that, bro?!” sam questioned, before looking at the people in front of him. he acknowledged how close they were, the slight tears in colby’s eyes,how intimate the room lighting was, the wine, the white rum.. 

oh fuck, they just interrupted a moment. 

the other two didn’t notice, too scared of the noises they’ve been hearing all night. “that was the loudest one yet!” jake announced. 

“i’m not going back in there.” corey whined.

“we’ve been hearing shit over there, what about you?” sam asked, before mouthing a sorry to the two sitting in bed. elias smiled at the gesture, before trying to wipe off his smirk.

“nope.” colby shook his head, his eyes less red then a few minutes ago.

“it’s safer in here.” corey stated, setting down the pillow he brought from the other room, and curling into a ball onto the floor, making elias laugh.

“are we having a sleepover?” he asked.

“oh, fucking totally.” jake snickered, running back to the other room and grabbing every blanket and pillow he could.

sam made a gesture with his finger, calling over colby. he noticed and walked to the bathroom with him. 

“uh, hey, sorry about that, we didn’t mean to interrupt you guys.”

“interrupt? you uh didn’t interrupt anything we were just talking.”

sam made a face, before nodding. it was his business, so when he wanted to tell him, he would, so he left it alone. “alright.. you ready for this sleepover?” he smiled.

“fuckkk yeahh.”

it had been over an hour, everyone was dead asleep, corey snoring. elias was the only one awake, he was too in thought to sleep. he watched over colby, who was laying right infront of him on the floor with the rest of the guys. they were each laying on both bed mattresses, covered in blankets, basically in a line.

he had been debating to put an arm around colby, but.. if they woke up like that he could expose colby to the rest of his friends, or atleast cause him to get teased. 

after a bit, he decided to shuffle his left arm under colby, so it was less noticeable. he held the boy, smiling, before finally falling asleep.

he didn’t know this, but colby was awake the entire time, smiling, wondering what the frick he was gonna do about this goofy medium he found himself possibly falling in love with...

[sonicjustbecause]

Something about myself

The reason I'm trying to learn 3D (furthern than architecture, my job actually involve massive 3D use) is my lack of artistic talent.

Like, I always loved to draw, I started at the age of 3 and always drew. In first place to take notes. Like the cavemen, since at three I could not read (In Italy children usually learn to read at elementary school or a little bit before).

Shortly drawing turned from a mere tool to take notes to a way to tell stuffs, imaginary stories or real life events. I loved comics and animation because of this. Beutiful art that tell stories. Is what all I wanted to do, once I would have grown up.

Age of 5. We millennials, on average, had better drawing skills than Gen Z babies. Even the less talented. Perhaps it was the lack of I-Pad. Usually at the age of 8/9, the Gen-Z recover and reach the average level of 8/9 years old millennials.

I kept drawing daily. Like doing 7 full comics books of over 300 pages each a the age of 6 to 7. And an illustrated diary telling the real life vacation I had in a touristic village I dreamed about for long.

Massive beaches and a lot to do in summer.

Now is a well known reality adults often tell fat lies to children to make them happy. Adult kept telling me I was good at drawing. On the other hand my peers were quite cold about them (my cousin once told me to watch out for inconsistencies. I recognized her criticism, but I though since I was a child - 8 years old -, it was too soon to worry, as no child can draw consistently, not even the best ones. My cousin was a child too, and of course her drawing showed inconsistencies too).

Only when i was 11 an adult told me my drawing were behind my age. At that point I started to experiment more (like doing portraits, changing my drawing style etc). At 12 I started to lean more toward a Japanese style.

By the age of 12/13 years old, I believe I was average at drawing. I though I was not exceptional but it was still doable (I'll not show what my drawing were like, I'll tell you they looked about like CWC's drawing, just way way less angular. And I didn't draw anything cringe, no giant straw and 'eeew things' although I used to draw Sonic too).

My favourite subjects were magical girls. Sailor Moon etc, but I greatly favoured original characters.

My dearest and oldest OCs. Yes, identical twins. I was never able to do them justice.

Art School is were I found the truth.

In my first serious drawing, I took a 3/10 grade, that is a E (In Italy we grade with numbers) And so on, usually 5 at drawing figures and my grades were the lowest of the class (hilarious, the one who loves to draw above anything else sucked at it), 5 in architecture and 5 in decoration.

The issue with architecture was not taking measurements, I could do that. I was also one of the few that somehow understood how perspective worked. I just could not draw not even with a ruler and a compass.

The only artistic subject I could do was modeling and it didn't feel as hard as drawing. Grades were still mediocre, 6 to 7, about a C or a little more.

I had different art teachers and the grades were about consistent.

Since I drew mainly to tell stories, the art subjects I was more focused on was real life drawing, the one I was worse at. And because of my effort despite my lack of talent I was literally a laughing joke for my teachers. One almost fell from the chair laughing about my drawings. This one told me to keep my creativity at bay because with my low drawing skills, I was unable to express it properly, and only do what I was able to do. The other day by day denied me to do more and more things.

First I was denied to experiment. I felt my drawing were becoming stagnant, so I decided to try to draw on dark paper with white pencils to refresh the way I look at things. Is a thing many suggest to do. But my teacher told me that my skills were too low to even think about that.

Later I was denied to colour my drawing and to do the 'chiaroscuro'.

And last I was excluded from a commissioned work were all class was partecipating. I had to sit and twiddle my thumbs while watching all my classmates doing the job

"You draw like a 10 years old child". I was 16 when I was told this by my teacher. This made me ashamed from even liking to draw. "Please, teach me, how can I fix my miustakes if you never tell me what i do wrong?" "What's the point to teach you? You lack of talent, even if I tell you, you will never learn to draw".

Out of school I had to take the matter in my hands.

Internet was new, and at that time, criticism online were common place and largely accepted unlike today.

There was the early stage of an idea that everybody can learn to draw, so I tried it. My drawing didn't show I was a former art student (everybody though I was self taugh by looking at my drawings).

I was also introduced to the concept of 'references images' to enhance my drawings. I followed religiously all what those artists (comic artist, my main focus) told me. I focused on criticism and ignored praises. To make sure i could receive proper criticism by more and more people, I criticised works of other people too. It worked. Criticism came with suggestions and good debates. Still something was still off.

I could reproduce a picture but I could not draw on my own and things were getting worse. But I was told it was normal and i had nothing to worry about...

Well, are you kidding me?

What they call photo references, to me always looked like this. Copy a pose and draw your character over. The drawing might look good, but to me the life is all stripped away and the pose look static rather than the character actually moving in the page.

The sketch full of mistakes in the second picture has a lot of personality. The fixed one lost almost all the energies.

To make thing worse, the character take the face of the model you use (who also ends to look a bit like you, because instnctively we are all drawn by models who look a bit like us).

Artists who draw without references exist. But when I admired them, those who helped me told me: 'Stop being amazed by them, if they used references, they would draw even better!'

I was and I am slave of references. Without pictures i can't draw. Only in latest mont i managed to pull something from my brain, after 20 years of zero drawings from imagination.

When Goku, my first cat succumbed to her age (she was close to be 20 years old), I drew this for my brother. It is for a tattoo.

I had to use at least 5 pictures of her to draw her accurately while coming up to an original pose.

With this Shadow I needed a couple of references. I wanted a new pose, at the same time I wanted it to look like it was done by Uekawa. My '10 years old girl' hand - as my teacher said - still shows. It shouldn't have.

My experience told me that talent is a thing and it matters. 20 years + of practice and my drawing skills remained roughly the same. I didn't do this alone, my drawings were always 'supervised' so I have to assume my teacher who laughed at me at art school and that refused to reach me were right.

To add things, I have a cousin who could draw like this at 9:

A good bunch of my family on both side has artistic talent like this. But the gene skipped me.

Attempting to 3D

Pixar animators do a lot of 'don't' s in topology, they know how to make it work. You don't have (and shouldn't) follow their example.

When I first saw a 3D model, I got scared. The topology was so complex (it was a mid poly model) I though it was not worth the effort from my side.

I attempted humanoids models as references for my drawings, architectonic and organic models on Sketch up, nothing too serious.

I started to use blender to create new morphs for Daz Studio models, so i could build my original characters and this would have helped me to draw them without the need to seek references.

But while some are happy with their regular daz models, I wanted more. I needed models that suit my needs, that I can fully control on my own. The vanilla stuffs in one way is like AI. You can do good things, but they never match your needs and your vision. There is still that bump. Those eyes are too small. The expressions lack of flexibility. Is not truly a 3D issue as i saw really good things done in 3D (see Disney moves, they might have gone 'woke' but the art keeps be excellent)

Notice the clarity of silhouettes and how the lines flow nicely... the basis of 2D art on 3D still work...

This is great 3D art. I always loved this hilarious and friendly anti hero. I saw the 'behind the scene' that was done in order to keep the very same life Lupin had in his 2D version.

The vanilla models from Daz studio as well as Sketch up have been a great starting point but soon I understood that the perfect model is the one done my myself. Also I found out some people who lack of drawing talent like myself still can do great 3D art.

The topology is scary, but you just need to adapt your eyes to the edgeflow/learn about how topology work. Then is not too far from drawings.

On one way AI art was also a good thing. I was afraid to attempt to use 3D art to enhance my drawings (I still love regular drawings) openly. I feared people would not accept it. Because of AI, now people are more accepting toward 3D art since they realized is still done with our effort and knowledges from studies.

[katyspersonal]

I remember when I was a teenager (range from 14 to like 16), I've had unhealthy "friendship" with a girl one year older I admired a lot for artistic talent and larde influence. My self-esteem was even lower than it is now (somehow it is possible lol), so a popular and skilled artist clinging to me to the point of regularly messaging me was like.. something else okay?

The thing is, I don't have good memories about her besides initial shock of her wanting to be my friend. But I remember the highlights. When she learned that I watched an anime we both liked with a localized voice over rather than subtitles, she trashed me and told me that I did not "truly" experience these characters then because "character is this way because they were voiced this way" (in original). When she learned that Britney Spears was my favourite singer, she had a full ass performative disgusted fit at how cringe it was, and how she had actual music taste because she's been listening to Beatles since childhood and it just kept going. She also based a lot of her identity as a fanartist on how she was waaaaay better and above shipping OCs with canon and how "forcing your mary sue on the character you like" was disrespectful to the author and the character. Also I remember that I felt very happy that my fanfic got 30 likes, and when she heard that she basically bawled from laugher at how pathetic I was and how 30 people meant absolutely nothing.

Now, to think of it... I always seek subtitles versions and refuse to acknowledge localizations of animes as a concept and don't understand why people consider local country voice actors as legit and credit them, when they are just noncanon placeholders. Any question with the "what song you associate with this character?" gives me such crippling, paralyzing anxiety that I can spend hours looking for a "right" song all over Youtube, to make sure that as I've put it once, "my choice of a song is tasteful and not just some fanmade vocaloid shit". (when "some fanmade vocaloid shit" is like half of my playlist) I am so, so, SO reluctant to ship a character I like with an OC or self-ship that I scan the source material for an obscure and underwritten character that might fit the type of a personality I seek instead with some headcanons. Also I will hunt for every single hint of the "canon John Soulsborne", seeking to generalize the character as much as possible, and avoid using a character I myself play as. And to think back on it, when I've been a microcelebrity in two other fandoms, I kept feeling like I was nothing and no one liked me, even though I got like x20 more attention and engagement than I do these days. 🙃

I don't really know what happened to her besides her popularity skyrocketing to absolutely absurd and unthinkable amounts. I remember though that she has been drawing many characters way more diverse and interesting than they were in any given fandom, but in a few years she obliterated any and all identity in her artstyle and made it look like every single Twitter anime artist, to the point you can never tell it is HER fanart without her signature. 🤔 I always thought it was a huge L even despite the fact that the change made her shovel money. The only thing that didn't effect me was when she smugly showed a close-up of how messy and careless ruffles on the dress she drew were, saying that there was no point in putting attention to little details in art because no one would look for them and only things that immediately capture the eye require care. -_- I just went "hmph" and still like to detalise to this day gchghjvb

But yeah, it is just. Odd. How contagious someone's insecurities can be. It was so clearly projection in retrospective, yet it shaped me as a person in some ways, probably shaped her other friends too. To think of it, overcoming your insecurities and learning to love yourself IS not just about yourself. Self-hatred and profound insecurities can seem like "innocent" flaw that you can afford because it only hurts you and not others. But it literally can and will hurt others dgdhcfhbx 🤡 So yeah, guys, just try to go easy on yourself, okay? You might think there is no reason to accept yourself, but it can pass onto people around you like a virus, so at least there is this

[vampir-ish]

its hard to formulate how i feel about all of this so ill just. Tell it how it is

i was raised in a very unstable household as a very unusual child, my first interest Ever was fnaf for some perspective. i had unlimited internet access because Well my parents were too busy arguing and my mom was too doped out on her medication to check on things like that. when i was maybe around 8ish or whatever (i have no recollection of my earlier life for. Apparent reasons) i had discovered sparklecare after finding the comics website through some animation meme nonsense. i know i was absolutely not the targeted age demographic but it felt safe, it didn't feel double sided or wrong like all that other shit i wasn't allowed to watch (But did anyways), in a way sparklecare steered me clear of more dangerous places on the internet because i had become infatuated. i would sit in my closet and read the updates on my moms ipad mini.

i had followed the comic ever since. it really fundamentally shaped my art and aesthetics to this day. everything i have now is bathed in multicolor, checkers, patterns, and a never ending assortment of ocs because of sparklecare. hell, in every story i make theres always some sort of hospital present because of this. it pushed me to draw, to make my own ocs about my own issues, it was the main driving force for a lot of things, one of the most influential things for me

i fell off a bit from reading sparklecare around 2019ish because i had too much going on life wise and i was in Not so safe spaces again, dealing with the years of bullying on my track not only for how i spoke or where i was from but also the things i liked, entering an immensely unhealthy online relationship as the pandemic hit, the works. i picked sparklecare back up again eventually and it felt like home, something i used to indulge in before i moved countries, before it got worse, etc. it jumpstarted my personality i had before i went through everything, but with a new light.

even at the time sparklecare would've been regarded something more on the immature and even "cringe" compared to my other interests, how the reboot had significantly fluffed things up compared to the preboot. i now realize this was probably because kc was slowly and slowly twisting into her own echochamber and i didn't see it because i was like 13 i wasn't gonna tell this grown woman what to do with her comic.

i kept reading everything, every Monday and Wednesday morning i would wait diligently while i was at school. it had shaped everything id done, and it was one of those things i could never throw away. this tripled with the creation of cometcare, i was infatuated with the whole branching family dynamics i had in my own ocs for the longest time, and inspired me to make my own, to be looser with my art and ocs. sparklecare was the last interest i had expected to turn rotten, it was so sickingly sweet and placating to everything.

then im sure as you can imagine the whole exposee went off a month or two ago (i really cant even tell how long its been) and ive been in a whirlwind of emotions whenever i think about sparklecare since. everything had a double meaning. everything was made with sinister intentions, 16 year old me was unknowingly playing into this grown womans fetishes and there was nothing i could've done to know. it still revolts me. i had done nothing but love and appreciate this comic, despite all its flaws, despite the dogshit art quality now, the crammed in headcanons, the spiraling family tree, etc. now i was just one of the many many people she had fetish mined for something so, so disgusting, and depraved, that she convinces herself is okay. with the same words she used to comfort the victims of so many injustices including myself, she span them in a way to justify her abuse of others.

i understand shes been through things. she's grown. shes been "coping" for years on end and has only gotten worse. she has a therapist. her so called "therapist" clearly doesn't exist or is some douche from craigslist thats part of some underground ring and is trying to rope her in.

its sickening to see the characters i so lovingly become part of my identity, plastered them everywhere, drew them, wrote about them, gushed about them, CARED about them, now be played in some weird sick incest fantasy on that disgusting blog. it feels like they've been gutted alive and are being puppeted by somebody else and i can't do anything but watch. i feel like im in the fucking comic myself and cuddles is making me watch some helplessly edgy shit like that meat puppet nonsense.

but i also used to have a sense of care for kittycorn too because so much of this art was about her, made by her, driven by her. she's so diligent and careful about the image she shows publicly. it was all calculated, it's impossible to say it wasn't. all the kind asks i sent in her inbox, not knowing i was speaking to someone so abhorrent. she knew. she knows, she can't keep it up forever.

It's been tough watching as this perversion encroaches on so much that i loved, never seeing it coming, not knowing i was a PART of it. not knowing for how long.

it is so evil to make a community based on a whole comic about being traumatized and oppressed by abusers, just for it to deliberately be some kind of underground abuse scheme under everyones noses. and it was intentional. she wanted to lure the vulnerable in. she wanted to hurt everybody because in her eyes its right. its coping. its whatever. shes never wrong.

it hurts, and i dont know what to feel about it. i dont know where to place my emotions, i dont know what to do, and i dont know where to go. i carry on with life anyways, because at the end of the day it was just a comic i read when i was young, but it stings.

all i will do, is wish the best for every single last victim of this mongrel, keep up with them, and take back from this comic, which the community only gave and gave and gave to it. she does not get to run away with all of it. i hope everyones staying safe and i love all of the anti sparklecare bunches.

kittygroomercorn and her menagerie of scum will see an end, whether they like or not, and i wish nothing but to the worst to the likes of them, you're never getting away with this, and i hope you're aware of that. eat shit and die kc.

ill be posting my redesigns possibly whatevrvr

[busybee227]

One of the things that I did growling up was make a bunch of OC’s, so when Gacha Life came out and I found out that you could use the app to just make your own OC’s/characters, I immediately fell in love with the app. I grew up in the community, learning about both, the good side of the community…and the bad side…while yes, the community had it’s downside, it also had it’s good side, awesome animations, amazing series, then came Gacha Club, a better version of Gacha Life, I also fell in love with Gacha Club…I remade my OC’s in that app, saving the codes, taking pictures, it was great!

But then, I stopped using it, learning that not everyone liked it…everyone seeing it as “Cringe” and it sucked…I felt like I had to stop before someone found out, I felt this way because back when I was little, I was labeled as “The Weird Kid” I was bullied as a kid…and it sucked, I loved the games, I loved the way you could make your own OC’s, how simple it was…sometimes I wish I could just go back in time and just tell my younger self ‘No matter what, don’t listen to them, just…keep doing you” maybe then I would’ve learned how to tween, how to make moving background, how to animate my characters.

Maybe one day I’ll come back to Gacha Club and maybe, who knows, maybe I’ll turn Sky into a Gacha character.

Both the Gacha Community and the Gacha games themselves were a huge apart of my lifer growing up and I’m glad I found out about the game, I wouldn’t change anything about that.

[fatoomie2801]

For the character ask, Kyoya for 14. and 21. please 🦁🌪️?

MORE KYOYA QUESTIONS YESSS 😈

thank you 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character

idk my fashion aesthetics OOP so i could be like way off about this one but maybe like a dark grunge sort of aesthetic? dark earthy tones, big black platform boots, chains everywhere. that's the kind of vibe i'm thinking i hope grunge is the right word for it :P

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

HAHA I HAVEN'T WRITTEN HIM IN 4 YEARS HELP

UMMMMM i think one of my favourite things to do was write out his thoughts and feelings. i wrote my fic in 3rd person so i did this for every character but i liked exploring a more emotional (?) side to his character, or one that was softer and kinder than usual anime yoyo

or at least one that acted like he cared more LMAO

i mean it was kinda necessary for an oc x canon fic

i was able to explore his inner thoughts and emotions (because you don't really get much of that when you watch a show) and i wrote in 3rd person to give me the opportunity to write those out without jumping from pov to pov (i remember someone once telling me they really liked that i did that, the whole writing out the inner dialogue of all the characters, and yes i enjoy it, being able to give a little insight into everyone's thoughts and not just the main character's)

and as dialogue heavy as beyblade can be, the most memorable parts of my fic are the paragraphs of just straight up description

also LOVEDDDD writing those scenes where it was just kyoya and kiara on their own, especially in the masters arc. they have a few moments where they just sit together on the balcony at night and just talk, or where he'll make breakfast for the both of them before they go off to join the qualifier tournament for team africa, or even this one point (after wild fang vs gan gan galaxy) when they're in the middle of this argument sort of period where she's mad at him and doesn’t want to talk to him but he cleans her wounds and then afterwards just tells her to pour her heart out cause he wants to fix things (wow i know right 😭)

i also gave him the adrien agreste "she's just a friend" phase for the second half of the masters arc LMAO

but yeah it was mainly the descriptive paragraphs scattered throughout the masters arc that i really enjoyed writing because i used to love making them metaphorical or whatever and i always thought i ate with those lines LMAO

and it was always about kiara's place in kyoya's life or how deep the bond they were slowly forming was developing over time or just simply how he felt about her idk i used to get super descriptive with that to the point where i felt like i was a poet and it was so fun

also silly moments, especially the ones where he bickers with the characters (mainly kiara and gingka) or even one scene where chao xin was getting awfully comfortable with kiara and kyoya's jealous (?) side comes out for a bit (and gingka has a field day with it because this is like 5 minutes after he's realised kyoya likes her even though kyoya denies it)

omg and protective yoyo i loved writing him. he only lasted the second half of the masters arc but it was so nice

(omg i need to stop myself from writing the entirety of the events in this fic because I WILL DO IT if i don't stop myself and then this post will turn into the fic itself 😭 and i keep talking about the second half of the masters arc as if i've published it. I HAVE NOT. i will be getting around to that soon)

ANYWAYS i do have my moments that i absolutely cringe at when i look back on but i want to preserve whatever 18 year old me was on so i don't plan on changing whatever is already published or drafted and written

but sometimes i read it back and think "oh that's so out of character kyoya would never" but that's what fics are for right? 😃

also the more i find out about how big a softie manga yoyo is, the better i feel about those gentle moments i wrote in my fic where he did things that i don't think anime yoyo would do 😭

like please tell me why i wrote a scene where kiara goes on a walk outside with him for fresh air and while they're out it starts raining so he literally runs back inside and buys an umbrella from the shop in the hospital (context: she was hospitalised after a battle with damian because like who isn't 😭) and when he comes back out she's just dancing in the rain and he realises he didn't need to do all that (and then his expression softens as he watches her ssksjsksksk but that's not the point here)

like yeah it's cute he's concerned cause she's unwell but kyoya tategami running inside to buy someone an umbrella is wild 😭😭😭 like not even fusion kyoya would do that and he was the nicest version of himself in the entire series

but then again he did go all the way to koma village for gingka maybe i'm overthinking this LMAO

and he's also filthy rich. an umbrella wouldn't break his bank i'm definitely overthinking this 18 year old me doesn't deserve all this hate i'm giving her sorry 18 year old toomie 😔

[neonzparkoflife]

Howdy! (Uhhh is that too midwest 🐄 of me???? Should I have said yo or something..?🧢) i'm 🌟neonzparklezZz🌟 (call me neon 😼🌈) the absolute WORST overthinker ever..=_= i also dont know how to use tumblr or the internet in general so be patient with me while I relay this —> ⚠️VERY IMPORTANT⚠️ <— information!!! 👓

I've been writing for almost 6️⃣ years, roughly 5️⃣ of them are fanfiction specific... lets see if I can recall every fandom...... haikyuu, dsmp(sorry), aot, genshin, crk, fnaf, voltron, tmnt, mp100, sonic, and most recently, SOUTH PARK!!! ✅ • I've written for MORE fandoms 😼 I never posted as well, been in other fandoms I never created content for, and written soooooo many original characters and universes!!! :D 📈

As it stands right now 😽 I would guess I have about !70! published fics on ao3 but I go through phases of MEGA CRINGE GUILT that make me delete or orphan everything on my accounts every few years. In my notes (right now) I have ≈ROUGHLY≈ 70 unwritten ideas floating around, ranging from my explanation of really big universes with deep lore and characters to short stories based on songs I like :))) 👽☄️

Now I NEED a ranting outlet before I go 💥INSANE💥

I REALLY felt the need to introduce myself, give an excuse for whatever NONSENSE comes out of this, and apologize in advance. 😸😺😸😽 -–—I'm mostly just gonna be giggling 😹 and goofing off 🎊 about my expert metaphors and symbolism, good and bad au ideas, HEADCANONS GALORE, just general writing quirks and advice that helps me, the occasional song lyric analysis/assignment or things I enjoy about writing! 🧪🎾 ^x_X^

IF YOURE STILL ACTUALLY READING THANK YOU.....!!!!!!!!! X3 Lately my focus has been on South Park! I like to write mainly about Kenny (🏳️‍🌈stenny🏳️‍⚧️, craig marj/butters and kenny as a friend group 🐀, kyle 💚and🧡 kenny, and a bit of dabbling with the mccormick siblings) but I am also the creator of WENDJORINE and if anyone tells you otherwise it's a LIE 🔮...•° Whatever. More on them later.?? I also like Clybe and Creek but I D0 find myself a lot more interested in platonic and sibling relationships >:33

Uhh so.! So like and sub...s..cribe.? For ? Moooore????? Is this thing on 🎤🎤 can you guy..z hear... meee...... 🗣️ 🎤🐕⁉️❓...?!

Also ❗️ if anyone in the WORLD 🌍 🌕 wants a writing buddy or likes south park/oc lore we can rant to each other 😈🔥 (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE)

OH MT GOD IM SO SCARED IM SORRY... 🙀😿 IF YOU WANT ME TO NEVER SPEAK AGAIN JUST SAY SOMETHING AND I WONT IM SORRY.!.??? o_o ///_ ///*

NEONZPARKLEZzZ OUT?!?! 💫☀️🫧