#fell of the curve

[the-person-that-did-that]

I don't understand why my parents genuinely can't let me be bad at anything, like, I suck at math, I can't do it, I can't remember formulas or numbers or anything, and one of my math teachers got me tested for dyscalculia (number dyslexia) because I kept having fucking panic attacks in her class, and when they sent my parents the results and gave them like, options, my parents ignored it? like they said, oh, no thanks she's fine, because they're so fucking ableist they couldn't stand it if their precious fucking golden child had a learning disability. And tonight at dinner they were asking me about my math class and I was like, yea no it was horrible I didn't understand a word of it, because I've never really been good at math, and they were like, nooo! don't say that! you're super smart! super good at math! but I wish they would let me be dumb. Because I'm NOT good at math, I can't be, and them saying I am, not only gives me even more imposter syndrome, it gives me more panic attacks, because I'm smart, and being smart means being good at math, but I'm not good at math, or very smart in general, but I HAVE to be good at math, because my dad's a very numerically minded person so I have to be and my parents are smart so I have to be. But I never have been, I don't even know my fucking times-tables, and I remember crying at the kitchen table when I was 6 because it was my 3rd hour working on math homework and my dad was calling me a retard and I didn't know what it meant but he was screaming and hitting things and I was scared but I couldn't do the math. and when I have panic attacks the numbers get worse and start moving and I can't breath. BUT I HAVE TO BE GOOD AT MATH, because its simple and logical and always the same and I'm smart, but I'm really not, and I don't know anything and I fell off the curve and I just want to drink myself to death or do drugs but I can't and I was SUCH a smart kid, I was so gifted, but I failed, and now I'm a teen with deppression and a caffeine addiction but no will to live, and I just want to be allowed to be dumb

[silkentine]

Anyone else looking to get bit at the beach or?

[theloverofdragons]

Happy Mogloween 🎃

continuing the dragonfable pumpkins with pandora and the corrupted seven! did my best to lay them out like their inn board haha

[turtleblogatlast]

[ cw: technical child endangerment / ]

Y’know every time I see the turtle tots playing with their original weapons I’m always flabbergasted that Splinter let Leo have a literal sword as a small child.

And then left him unsupervised with it.

Like, at least the others had blunt weapons (though still dangerous in their own right, especially Raph’s blunt tipped sais) but Leo’s katana are so easily lethal that it’s a miracle he seemed to be a natural with them. Because, if he wasn’t a natural then…oof.

It’s at least a good thing he only got one sword at first and not his usual two. Splinter would’ve needed to count his lucky days because OOF.

[the-inner-musings-of-a-worm]

this is me trying by taylor swift is the ultimate kevin day anthem

[bitterflames]

lowkey obsessed with kuro and shiro mujou. they're literally the 黑白无常 heibai wuchang of chinese folk religion, but re-imagined in a heian period japan setting so now they're shinigami, who were possibly themselves influenced by western concepts of the grim reaper (and kuro mujou's design reflects this, with his scythe). they're on like triple layers of folk religion psychopomp/death personification and i love it.

[somethingsomethingcomic]

beware my wine rants

[raddest-laddest]

u ever have a very specific visceral feeling that u can trace back to an exact moment in ur life?

like ur cells rearrange and ur brain calibrates to the earth’s magnetic field it’s like “oh, this is just like the cough drop incident of 2019”

or “oh this is just like that time i got lost in the laser tag at golf and stuff when i was 4”

or “oh this is e x a c t l y how i felt when i was first getting into hollow knight”

idk how to explain it but i could feel it in my bone marrow

[phagodyke]

not that this means anything to anyone but v4 (yellow) I'm rly proud of finally fucking getting at the gym today its taken me 3 visits over the last 3 weeks to nail it. woof......

[rosicheeks]

Some people just don’t have taste. They fell for the Hollywood standard and it shows they never cuddles a real woman.

Your very pretty rosi

Thank you 🥰

[mealbits]

i think what i love the most abt ur art is that ur always drawing things you clearly enjoy and u can tell bc of the way ur works all look like they were made with love and i guess what im trying to say is how do i do that lol

I GET HOW U FEEL SO MUCH. truth is back in liiike 2020 i was exclusively creating art for this blog in a 'What Does My Audience Want?' mindset, and if you do want to get into fields that center around Art/Design for An Audience theres no harm in doing that in moderation(but back in 2020 it felt like all i did was make art for other people lmao). one major thing that helped me make this blog more about My Art for Me and less My Art for Someone Else was rethinking how and why i made art. my art was 'the thing i have to put on my blog today' but nowadays its more 'this project im doing to learn XYZ while also drawing what i want to draw' (i also have more projects and ideas overall because of it!!!! thats also something i noticed just now lol) that shadow gijinka i just posted used 2 be a ditched sketch from. last week? i forgot abt until i lined, colored, and rendered it just for fun (and to do some more paint-adjacent rendering cuz thats my jam) since i do plan to get into commission work this year i am aware i gotta prioritize more Art Studies and 'Learning how to draw for other people, figure out what they want, etc.' or whatever. uhhh tldr i wanted to get better at art without hating art so i do studies with shadow the hedgehog and anime girls.

[forkandknife]

There’s a highway on ramp that doesn’t exist but often shows up in my dreams. It’s shape isn’t always exactly the same but stays pretty similar (very high and winding, with stairs in the middle) and it’s always the exit for the stadiums off of <major highway in my city). This is a symbol of my fixation on highway infrastructure probably

[purenguyening]

An idea I never really wanted to write but I like to day dream about it at work.

Norman figures out Brendan is gay and is waiting around for his son to come out to him. Cue very roundabout ways of trying to build trust with him.

One of his ideas involves asking around for a popular restaurant and then taking him there for a meal when the stars align and they're both free.

Brendan does eventually open up to him but it was about how when they first moved he felt pressured and trapped at the idea of having to follow in his dad's footsteps. (This is because after you arrive to Petalburg Norman makes the assumption his kid will be a trainer just like him and I imagined his kid took that literally). It becomes really nice moment and Norman is quite ecstatic and happy because he is proud of his kid and everything carries on as normal...

At least until Norman walks up to the gym the following day and realizes he technically failed his goal at getting his kid to come out to him. Cue him hitting his head against the door and his junior trainers terrified for the rest of the day.

[tenshouining]

transing up characters you relate to is one of my favourite human expeirences >:J

[relto]

riding a bike down in the tunnel feels like a strange dream, esp if the light is in low mode..

[vonlipvig]

speaking of being a swiftie, she played THIS IS ME TRYING as a secret song yesterday??? sincerely i would just curl up into a ball and die