#feline with cup
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thatsbutterbaby · 1 month ago
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Chancay Culture 1000-1470. Feline with cup, Circa. 1200AD, Ceramic,39 x 24 x 25 cm. .
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treeprince · 18 days ago
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i am once again thinking of post-canon touch-starved binghe always needing to hold/touch/feel in some way shape or form sqq's body, doesnt matter what part, its all the same, as long as he can feel that shizun is alive alive alive and here with him, and even if he cant touch him with his own hands, his blood is the life in shizun's veins, keeping time and brushing against the front of his mind with relief that he can still feel him deep inside
but oh, when shizun reaches out first, the universe crumples to a fixed point where they connect, and nothing now can shake him, except the way that his shizun loves him, loves him, loves HIM!!
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kawaii--af · 1 year ago
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sparks-olivarpente · 4 months ago
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Things I've bought because of Stranger Things
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jettacar · 1 year ago
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i’ve decided i won’t be a menace actually. i’m just vibing now :3
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starwell101 · 1 year ago
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You are cordially invited to the tea party~
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taski-guru · 2 years ago
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New YCH from me!
Your characters in Christmas/Winter setting! Character's emotions are customizable as well as their accessories and outfits.
If you want to bid, please go on my FA and DA
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haika-98 · 7 months ago
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Ghost
It's officially been over a year now since my cat passed away at age 19, and I've wanted to do a painting of her for a long time now. I started this like a year or more ago I think and never gathered the courage to finish because I was afraid I couldn't do her justice. I'm still not sure how I feel about it but told myself I'm not allowed to poke at it anymore after February; so I think I'll just have to accept this is the best I can do for now and move on. Maybe in the future when my art skills hopefully improve.
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venmondiese · 1 month ago
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SUBTLE LOVE, DARING WORDS
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masterlist ✧works in procress ✧ AO3
-ˋˏsummary: Aemond is in no hurry to take a wife, yet once he realizes that he doesn't value what he has until he might lose it, he takes action. (based on THIS request!)
✧Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x Lannister!Reader.
✧word count: 3.1k
✧tags: fluff and comfort, aemond is BAD at feelings, reader doesn't really admit anything either, slight? slowburn?, overall fluffy!!, this is really vague about in which year happens, lol
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The first time he met you it was in the library.
He had his mind on the whole commotion at court, the tournament which he had refused to entertain, much to his mother's dislike because of his position as a royal. To him, it seems like a foolery, as if he was willing to participate in making himself a fool such as Mushroom. 
When he came to the library, intending to search for a book to comfort himself, he found a lady leaning down one of the staircases, where there were lots of books stacked only for maesters, with him as an exception… but not a lady surely, less one that seemed to be looking for something below. He was astonished, for many reasons. 
He watched her big, puffy dress, in rich red velvet and gold details. It was definitely a Westerlands style, so he was more confused as to why she was in this part of the library, only for maesters, and… well, him. How did the guards allow her to enter? How did she do it so confidently, as if he couldn’t make her life hell for it?
“Ehem” he scoffs, as if trying to get her away. The least of his worries was having a lady on the forbidden library corner… for now. “Get out. You are in a forbidden part”
“I am aware” your voice comes from down the staircase you had even moved some books! That made him slightly… annoyed.  As you move your head out to see the prince above you, and you make a movement with your head as if doing a courtesy. “My prince”
He was not amused, at all. You had green eyes, and the most golden hair he had seen in ages. The small lions on your dress allowed him to know who you were: A Lannister. And he definitely never wanted to deal with any of your kin. 
“And I said-”
“My cat is down there” you say, as if he cared. 
“Okay. Take it out of here”
“I can’t” you say simply, watching him with a grin. “She seems to be in labour. I didn’t know she was pregnant at all…”
He has many questions, and he frowns at your reasoning. He would take the cat and throw it out himself if he had to. 
“It is your cat, just take it away”
“Well, my father gave her to me two weeks ago!” You make a face, almost whining about it. Of course he could know which Lannister is your father. “I didn’t know she was pregnant, and she is still getting used to me. She will scratch me, more if I get closer to her babies”
“A scratch won’t kill you”
“Just sit” you say softly, watching the cat and sitting on the ground to wait. “You can even keep one of the baby cats”
“My grandsire has brought enough cats already” Aemond says, walking to grab some wine for him and the lady. He wasn't impolite to be rude to a lady, much less one with your status and beauty. “They come to my bed when I am sleeping, and I wake up to cats in my chest”
“Well, I think they are cute” You say, taking the cup of wine, thanking him as you sip the wine. “Cats are felines, like lions. So I think having a cat is reasonable, better than a lion”
“Don’t you want one?”
“I have one back at home” you say shrugging, smiling widely. “He is called Brightroar”  
Of course you named it like the ancient weapon of Lannisters. “And this one?” 
“I wanted to call it Brightroar second, but it turned out to be a she. So she is just called Gemma” 
He can’t deny that he is amused, watching you being so nonchalant about it all, as if you owned the world. He raises an eyebrow as he has a slight smirk, as he sits near. 
“Gemma” he scoffs. “A very…”
“Lannister name” you say smugly. 
“Hm. I was going to say… common, perhaps” he adds.
“You would love for Lannisters to be commoners, my prince. Yet you seem to rely on our gold” you notice, raising one eyebrow. So you weren’t a silly lady, he realises, you had the wits.
“Hmm… Our gold seems a bit excessive, my lady. It is your father who is the head of your house” he reminds you, leaning back on his chair. 
You smile softly. He thinks you are Cerelle, probably. Mostly because you know Cerelle was still a kid and never been presented to the royal court.
“Mine or not, I still am more entitled to it.”
“I have a dragon.” He adds, as if this was a debate between you both. He was actually enjoying it. He had totally the wrong impression of you and he… was enjoying it. “The biggest dragon”
“Yeah, and?” 
“And I could burn your silly little castle” he shrugs, taking a dip of wine. 
“No, you could not” 
“I’m pretty sure I can”
“No, actually. I know you haven’t gone out of these four walls and this... city, my prince, but I remind you out of the kindness of my heart: Casterly Rock is literally… a rock” 
Aemond rolls his good eye, yet his smirk doesn’t leave his face. As if your cat was forgotten, he keeps on his point. 
“As if has stopped a dragon before” Aemond says simply. “Because I am as kind I shall remind you of Harrenhal, perhaps?” 
“And I shall remind you that Harrenhal is a castle made of rocks.” She shrugs softly. “Not exactly a rock. Casterly Rock is literally a castle inside a rock.”
“Some parts are out of it”
“Not the part where we keep our gold, not really”
Aemond squints his eye, and you look back at him. You amused him, looking like a defiant cat that got away with their mischief. It was fun to see, and he could hear the wails of your cat. You didn’t seem worried, neither was he. Perhaps that was the circle of life, and you knew your cat would manage. 
As you speak of such trivial matters, waiting for your cat to end her labours, he couldn’t help but admire your wits, as much as your beauty. Your velvet gown, of a strong red and some gold details did wonders with your appearance, and your brains only made you brighter. 
“What are you doing here?” It was Tyland Lannister, coming with a Maester behind, probably who sneaked your position in a forbidden library. “You know ladies can’t be here” 
“Father... My cat is giving birth” You say, frowning as if it was the most obvious thing. 
“My prince” Tyland makes a courtesy to him, a bit rigid and tense. You had heard how the prince would often terrorise your father, making him do the silliest things as if that amused him. Your uncle Jason often had a laugh about it. 
“I was not aware your daughter was…” Aemond says, turning his gaze to you “All grown up”
He knew about you, but your father talked about you as if you were a babe. You were practically his own age, for what he could tell.
“Yes, my little lion is certainly… grown” Tyland agrees, his hand on your hair as he spoke. “Come on; let’s not bother the prince…”
“It is not a bother” Aemond cuts him, serving himself more wine. “She is rather amusing”
“How dare you-!” You say, offended as you come to your defence.
“Sweetie” Your father tries to calm you, with a tense smile as if telling you to shut up.
“I am not a jester” 
“No one said you were” Aemond says, amused as he smirks. 
“You are such a…”
“Apologise” your father murmurs. 
“But fath-”
“You heard me”
“I am sorry, my prince” You say mockingly, and he smirks, even more amused.
Tyland seemed as if he was about to have a stroke, because he had enough things on his plate, and he didn’t need the prince making his life at the small council harder. 
Aemond sees Gemma, bringing her cats to show you how they were, all of them bloody, and squirmy, a bit pink and small. You petted them as you didn’t mind the blood.
“Come on. Servants will need to clean the blood” Tyland says, making a notion for you to stand up “Grab the kittens and let’s go”
“Ew, no. They are all bloody” You say frowning. “You take them” 
How lady-like. He thinks, as you didn't seem to mind the blood two seconds ago.
Even with your persistence, your father took the small and weak kittens, and your cat kept meowing at him as if he would kill him. 
“How did your cat even come here to give birth?” Your father asks as he tries to not get Gemma to kill him.
“I have no idea, father…” You say, and Aemond sees you standing up. 
He sees the pile of books in your hands, behind your back as you walk behind your father. You smart wench, he thinks, as you had just successfully stolen forbidden books by setting up your cat to give birth here. You even had him fooled. No one else notices, since your dress was puffy enough, and he noticed it by shamelessly trying to see your ass. 
You watch him, and press your index finger in your lips, as you walk behind your father and his complaints about your cat. 
“Do not bother the prince, darling” Tyland says once you get out of the library.
“I think he is quite handsome” you admit, when you know the prince won’t hear you. You father watches you shrug, walking forward him, not allowing him to see your hands. He sighs, as Gemma starts meowing loudly. 
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While the rest of your interactions have been brief, he notices that you are more of a troublemaker than you let yourself look. You had that mischievous smirk always, arching your eyebrows in such a way when you had a plan. 
Yet, you were sweet. He notices how you play with your cousins, Cerelle, braiding her hair, and with Loreon, the small heir to Casterly Rock, a kid that enjoyed running around, and you often entertained his antics. 
“And there will be so many ladies, Aemond. In this time, we need alliances…” His mother says, as they walked through the castle. He hears the step of Cole behind them, guarding them, and probably hearing how his mother tried to make him a lovebird.
“It does not interest me”
“It doesn’t have to interest you. It is a matter of duty-”
“I won’t marry, mother.” Aemond shrugs, as if that was the way of his life. “Not yet. I have things ahead of me yet” 
“You inscribed on the tourney?” The queen inquires, curious. 
“No” he says shrugging, slyly trying to seek for you in the royal box, to no avail. “I am not in a hurry.”
He greeted noble ladies, of course. As he was seated on the royal box, bored and waiting, he could see girl after girl doing courtesy and smiling in a flirty way to him. It did not amuse him, and he was polite enough, almost rude. 
“She is trying really hard, you know” A voice joins his thoughts. It is you, sitting by the empty chair by his side, where Aegon is supposed to be, but he never is on time.
“Who isn’t?” He rolls his eye.
“I didn’t know you were so in demand. High valued. Sought after” you list, as you fan yourself as it was indeed a hot day. 
“Very amusing” He murmurs.
“Come on, my prince. There must be a lady who catches your attention.” 
“I am not blind” he says, rolling his good eye. “Of course there are women I find beautiful”
“Oh my... Having feelings now, congratulations, the Seven indeed are capable of the most... unthinkable miracles”
“You just woke up being so funny” he says, looking at you, raising his eyebrow, yet the small way his lips curved allowed you to know he was amused.
“I am always funny, my prince” you say watching the crowd get settled, squinting your eyes due to the sun. “My cats are good, thanks for asking. Gemma is quite the mother, even if she tried to eat one of them.”
"How... vivid." He says, raising his eyebrows in slight disgust.
"I saved them. Since they are four, I named them: Elia, Joy, Alyssa and Teora"
"And what if one of those silly cats was to be a male?" he asks, as if seeing a flaw in your cat-naming thing.
"Pff, none of them will be. I know it. And if they are, I won't change the names"
He remains quiet, surprised by how bold and petulant you could be. It was amusing to him, and he enjoyed talking to you more than he cared to admit.
“You stole from the library.” he reminds you.
“I have no idea what you are about” you say, still looking at the crowd, smiling softly. The red of your dress made your gold hair bright even more. “Ladies do not read such matters”
“Yeah, right. You are unlike any lady”
“Quite the contrary” you finally turn to see him “I am just like any other lady” you says, smiling. "It just happens that I am friends with the prince, so I am allowed to speak freely"
"Who said..." He says, opening his mouth and turning his face to you, a bit impressed by your silliness "How come you think... you suppose that we are friends?"
"Since you have neither sneaked about the time at the library, or told me to shut up and leave you alone, it is a logical conclusion, if we have in mind your previous reputation to anyone else." You say smiling. "And do not worry, if you do not consider me as such, doesn't matter, because I do and I appreciate you even if you hate me"
"You are..." He scoffs, grinning like a fool "Unbelievable"
"I know. One of my many charms. That and being a matchmaker. I love it. It is wonderful to make couples at court, and more if they end up together, being all happy and..."
“Huh.” He hums, thinking of how odd you were. “Talking about the wonders of a married life”
“I didn’t say that. I merely stated that… marriage isn’t the worst. I intend to find a husband very soon as well. I would very much like to be a wife”
“I shall pray for the poor soul who calls you wife” He murmurs as he looks at the field below, where the knights were preparing, yet you hear his grumbles. 
“And I shall pray to see prince Aemond besotted for a lady” you say teasingly, standing up, not before doing a small courtesy and leave to sit by your father, who had just arrived, frowning a bit as to why you were with prince Aemond.
The tournament does not bore him at all. He is very into the way the fight develops, and he takes mental notes when he sees some weaknesses in the participants. He regrets, just a bit, not joining, because he thinks he could have won. 
He sees you, on the seats below him, jumping in excitement as the fight develops. You are into it very much, clapping and screaming as any commoner does outside the royal box. It was improper, but it was… cute. 
He can see the rest, clapping politely, not overly excited yet proper for the occasion. You were unlike the rest, yet at the same time, you were just like any lady. It amazed him, and he did not understand.
He soon realises that he is not the only one that has you in mind, when the winner of the tournament comes closer to the stands, riding triumphantly in circles while the audience cheers him on, the crown of the Queen of Love and Beauty on his lance.
“The Winner, Ser Dale Dondarrion shall find his Queen of Love and Beauty”
He hesitates for some moments, he thinks he shall name his niece Jaehaera to win the favour of the royal house, like his ancestor once did to little princess Daenerys at the early reign of King Jaehaerys. 
Yet his smile faints when he sees that the queen of beauty’s laurel falls into your lap. 
“Lady Lannister, I hope I am deserving of dedicating my victory for you, and shall your reign be full of joy, even if lasting one night”
You take the wreath of flowers, almost jumping in sight and squealing some thanks as Tyland accommodates the crown onto your braided hair. Your crowning came with an ovation full of applause, from the box and from the commoners… but him. 
It was an odd feeling, stirring something in him, as he watches your cheeks pink from the compliments of all, and most of all; having a suitor. Being named queen of love and beauty was not anything like a dull compliment of court merely because it was proper. It was being publicly courted, and often something many ladies wished, because there was no better feeling than being shown off to everyone. 
He was quiet the rest of the day. Humming when ladies talked to him, in hopes to gain his attention and be courted; when Aegon mocked him; when Helaena placed one of her bugs in his lap, which Maelor ended up squeezing on his grip; when his mother presented him a lady of a high castle with expensive clothes and a sweet behaviour, pure, and devoted. He paid little attention to it all.
It was when your reign was coming to an end that he asks for Tyland to come to the empty throne room. He was watching the throne, carefully inspecting it, as he calculated of his next words. He was being irrational, clearly driven by his emotions and desperation rather than the logically he usually had. 
“My prince” 
Tyland was no stranger to the formalities of court, yet he never let himself be intimidated by lords that tried to impose themselves. He was the second son, yet he had established a name for himself and earned respect in his position; there was nothing for him to feel belittled about
Yet intimidation comes natural with prince Aemond around. 
He has the impression that his one eye is wide open, and the smirk that naturally was on his lip was one of amusement in the suffering of the rest. Always stoic, never doing things out of impulsivity... Which was even worse. His hands behind his back, as he remained as still as a statue.
It did not frighten him, but he knew Aemond was as cold as unforgiving. And slicing his head won’t make the prince feel regret.
“Lord Tyland” Aemond greets him softly. 
A silence follows, as Tyland feels his hand sweating slightly. “An idea for the small council?” He tries to guess. “I am sure it can wait, my prince, I should be with my daughter, since it’s her day…”
“Exactly. That’s what I wanted to speak about”
Tyland is a smart man, and he quickly realises the problem.
“I know she can be presumptuous and slightly spoiled, my prince” He starts, feeling Aemond’s eye on him as he turns to face him. “She takes the title too seriously, when it isn’t, Mushroom was just hyping her up, and she is just still a girl, and I apologise on her behalf for trying to impose herself as Queen, when her reign only lasts for a day, and she really is…”
“I want to marry her” Aemond tells Tyland simply. “Her reign shall not end. She can be a princess.”
Lannisters usually aren’t left speechless. They had never been known for their silence, yet here he is, silent.
“Ser Dondarrion made the same proposal hours earlier, my prince, and I…”
“And you will allow your daughter to marry a Ser instead of a prince? I have already told you. I want to be her husband” He insists, his tone not certainly soft as he loses patience. His soul craves you. He needs to be yours. He can’t let you go away. “She is smart and she has the wits. She is spoiled, and she loves to have her way. She is kind, sweet, and funny. And I want to be her husband and give her anything she asks for. Is that so hard to get?”
What wakes up Queen Alicent is her son with a stoic expression, not even entering her rooms to speak.
“I was wrong” He says simply “I shall marry Lady Lannister, mother. I am in a hurry. So I ask you to prepare the wedding. Good night and Seven blessings”
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Almost a year later is when your father comes closer to your chambers once again, seeing how your ladies in waiting do a courtesy out of politeness, and he watches prince Aemond at your door, waiting for him.
“Came as fast as I could…”
“Hm” Aemond says, as he walks toward the open doors.
Tyland could have his distance with Prince Aemond, but he couldn’t deny how good a husband he was. He wasn’t a man of many emotions, in his perspective, yet he was a devoted husband. He danced as many times you wanted in the ceremony, sighing every time you made him stand up from his seat. He didn’t wear the eye patch on your wedding, just as you requested.
“That is the worst idea ever, darling” He said to you, and you rolled your eyes. 
“Well, he will have to if he wants to marry me”
And so he did. When you wanted to travel to Volantis, he arranged it all. When you wanted for him to meet Brightroar, he took Vhagar and rode into the Westerlands with you. 
“Was it all well?”
“Everyone in the castle heard a lion roar” Aemond says walking past the maesters. 
You seemed so little, in Tyland’s eyes, all sweaty and tired, like the time you got so sick he was afraid you would die. He had brought the very best maesters he could find, just to assure you were safe. 
“It is a girl” It’s the first thing you say to your father, smiling a bit. “A healthy baby”
Tyland leans, to kiss your forehead, as you extend your babe to him. It was a small thing, yet chubby and all pink still. She had small, silver hair, very thin, but present. He could see the little gold spot, as if gold hair would grow on some of her hair. It was indeed curious, and yet he couldn’t think she was anything but perfect.
“A bit squirmy” He comments, as the baby yawns, opening her mouth as she whines slightly. 
As he tries to coo the small thing, he watches how Aegon sits by your side, at the edge of the bed, passing his hand behind your shoulders to caress your shoulder. You lean against him a bit, and say.
“It is a pain to breastfeed, why didn’t you tell me?”
He chuckles a bit awkwardly, he had never gotten used to your bluntness and honesty. “I never knew anything about that”
“Well, it is. I thought babies knew how to do it, but she takes a long time” You say, looking up at Aemond.
“She is still very little, my love” Aemond reminds you. 
“I know, but what if I am doing it wrongly? Mothers usually know those things, and I find myself clueless. Aunt Joanna says it comes naturally, but she has successfully raised kids who have survived childhood.” You say, looking at Aemond. “So has your mother. How comes I don’t know?”
“Because you are a mother from little more than a day.” Aemond reminds you “And they had help. So you do. You have me, of course. You have wet nurses, maids, maesters, and my own mother and of course, you have the brightest mind. We’ll do”
“Did you know Aemond cried, father?” You tell him, and he finally looks away from his little granddaughter. 
He blinks, a bit confused, watching the prince. “Oh, did he?” 
“Yeah, it was rather cute” Aemond rolls his eye amused, as your hand was on his knee. 
“It’s the only natural response.” Tyland says, his finger caressing the skin of the sleeping babe, who squirmed a bit at the feeling, like a cat. “She is delightful. Have you named her?”
Aemond looks at you, amused, expecting you to answer the question. You had the smug grin on your face, and nodded. “We had a deal. If she had golden hair, she would have a Targaryen name. If she had silver hair, she would have a Lannister name”
“And?”
“Well, she is rather… peculiar. She had silver hair, but you can see how some gold hair has grown too? It is the oddest of things, but the Maesters said it was natural. You know how cats have different hair colours?”
“Don’t compare her to a cat” Tyland makes a face, softly rocking her in his arms.
“She has both silver and gold.” Aemond says, as if reminding you to keep on trail. 
“Ah, yes. Since it’s most silver, we agreed on something that you will find the brightest things, father.” You look at your husband and then your father. “Gaemma. It’s a bit… weird to say it, but with time it shall be delightful”
Tyland looks at you, and he blinks. “Like your cat?”
“Well, thanks to her I and Aemond met.” You remind him. “She deserves some credit” You add.
“I like it” he murmurs. “Don’t make your mama lose her mind” He says, as the baby yawn, extending her arms. 
“She will, after all she is her mother’s daughter” Aemond says, taking her back, and he adds “You should have seen how loud she wailed once she came.”
“I am here, world. Hear me roar” you say, as if trying to translate Gaemma’s cries. You smile widely, and Tyland knows that even if you were always going to be his little girl, you were in the best hands, and that Aemond adored the ground you walked on. Even if you name their child after your cat. 
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orcinus-veterinarius · 1 month ago
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Information to know about your pet… before you visit the vet:
- What kind of food does your pet eat? Include the brand name and flavor, as well as the amount fed and how often they eat. Remember that “one scoop” doesn’t mean much, so be sure to quantify it in cups, etc. before your next visit. Don’t forget to mention treats, or any recent diet changes!
- What medications, if any, does your pet take? Please know the drug name, dosage, and frequency, as well as how long they’ve been on it. Preventatives count as meds too! Different brands protect against different parasites, so be sure to know which your pet takes.
- Is your pet ever exposed to other animals? This includes animals in the home, at the dog park, groomers, daycare, boarding, and play dates with neighbors or friends. When was their most recent exposure?
- Is your pet up to date on vaccines? Which ones? Just the core vaccines (rabies and DHPP for dogs/FVRCP for cats), or non-core such as lepto, influenza, Bordetella, and/or feline leukemia as well? If not up to date, did they ever receive any vaccines in the past, and when?
- Does your pet have any relevant medical history? Please disclose any previous illnesses or surgeries you are aware of to your vet team.
- What is your pet’s spay/neuter status? Different reproductive diseases affect intact and altered animals. If you’re unsure, just let us know!
- Has your pet traveled recently? This includes everything from trips out of the country to a day drive across town for a swim at the lake. Certain toxins and diseases are more prevalent in different environments.
- Is your pet nervous or aggressive? There’s no shame in this! Please let us know for our safety and your pet’s.
Remember that not all vet visits are planned, so be sure to learn this information ahead of time. I hope this helps better equip you to advocate for your pet!
Fellow vet professionals, feel free to add on!
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ocbykamaete · 2 years ago
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BESUY
He/Him Born with some duller colors, Besuy grew brighter as he aged, with his mane darkening over time. He takes a lot of vanity in his mane and spends a lot of time grooming. Territorial and a bit bubble-headed, Besuy is generally easy going and sure of himself.  Very supportive and loves spoiling those younger than him.
 Designed By;  jacks-shop   Original; fav.me/d529v2v
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evilminji · 4 months ago
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Okay this is going to drive me INSANE. D:>
Dearly beloved, Phandom darlings...
Can DANNY EAT VIDEO GAME/TV FOOD?
I... I NEED to know. You don't UNDERSTAND!? Think about it. No, seriously. THINK about all those HIGHLY unrealistic, too good to be true, PERFECT looking meals. Animated shows n games etc where there are chefs who will "cook for Anybody!"
Now think about being 14 going 20. A teenager. A broke college student. Your fridge is empty and everything you touch? Comes back to LIFE. You're... you're just so hungry. Tired. Your bruises have bruises and you have a paper due tomorrow.
I kinda want to CRY.
Can only eat cup ramen so many times before you DO.
And this show? That commercial? Yonder cooking game?? Well... they did a REAL good job animating it. It looks so WARM. So FILLING and COMFORTING. You can practically SMELL it.
You look down at your sad, soggy, cheap but you can afford it, EZ Noodles and? Feel something BREAK inside. You... you KNOW you can travel inside technology. KNOW this. Have done it before. Why... why AREN'T you? You can't keep living like this.
You gotta TRY, right?
I? Wanna believe it TOTALLY works?? Because Ectoplasm is weird like that? And just shrugs? Says "actual food, the concept of food backed by electricity, what's the difference? Sure, we can fuck with this"? And so Danny? IMMEDIATELY fucking switches his diet.
Like? Dead stop screech, slam on the breaks, u-turn to take that last off-ramp. Type IMMEDIATE.
Grocery bill? No, no, you mistake him! No. NOW it's his "carefully researched for their cooking, games and shows" bill. Touch his collection and he'll FUCKING BITE.
They got sticky notes on the cases. Menus n lil fold out "grocery store" locations. He punched a dragon for this fruit. Mmmmm, home cooked meeeeeals~
Just? Weird Foodie Danny. Yes he DOES know what those steaks taste like. While YOU fuckers were staring at the cat girls bizangas, HE was eating granny cat lady's home made meatball stew! Ha! YOU FOOLS!
More then that? I want him to write reviews. Like "yeah, fight system was OKAY but- *5 hour glowing rant about the food, sounding like a food critic who'd actually fucking gone and loved it* " and people are like?? Who? Is this funky lil madman? This is hilarious?
I want it to be DPxDC JUST? So everyone slowly starts to play the game "Meta or Shtick?" Because no one REALLY knows who he is. This dude gets POPULAR though. For some reason can't be hacked (shame on you guys! Way to try and ruin the FUN!). And like? Eventually? Someone just fucking ASKS?
And Danny is like... " wouldn't YOU like to know, weatherboy?"
So everyone is like:
"Meta."
But hey... since they're already ASSUMING~? >:3c WHOOOOO wants to help him PAY RENT~? Let's VLOG this fucker! Wooooo! Say "hi" Catchef! *feline noises* like? It's like a let's play combined with a mukbang.
Teen Heros everywhere are FACINATED. Game developers are suddenly like? "If there's food. You BETTER make it look amazing. We want that weird YouTube twink to... whatever his powers are, our game! Free viral marketing!" Food channels? Rending their clothes, on their KNEES, please! PLEASE! Just ANSWER OUR EMAIL! Just ONE SHOW! A one off! Guest appearance!
We have MONEY!!!
All while Danny? Is finally happy with his life. Weird as hell. Harrasing the world. Good food on the regular. Gets to travel, kinda. Best of all? He's raising money from it! Can help people! Now... who wants salad?
@babbling-babull @hdgnj @hypewinter @legitimatesatanspawn @spidori @dcxdpdabbles @the-witchhunter @lolottes
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ittybittyfanblog · 12 days ago
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Error 404: (Self-Aware!AU, Sylus Edition)
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Summary: A LADS self-aware!AU featuring Sylus (+ maybe the other MLs!) and an oblivious player. That’s it, that’s the plot. Tags: player!reader x sylus, fem!reader x sylus, reader x lads, maybe some suggestive language?? will add more tags as the story progresses A/N: This is gonna be a multi-chapter fic! I’m still not sure whether to do the boys in rotation, or just focus on one ML per series. Don’t take my word for it atp tho – I’m not even sure if I can actually finish a series lol.  Also, I’ve had the creative liberty of changing stuff from the actual gameplay here and there. (Except for the self-awareness. That’s most definitely real.) Hope you enjoy~!
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Pt. 1 - Pt. 2
It’s a quarter past eight and you’re still on your desk working overtime on a Friday night. 
You let out a big sigh, leaning back on your office chair after an unhealthy duration of bad posture from hours of slouching down in front of your computer. There’s nothing ergonomic about the way this job is killing you, and the ache in your lower back can attest to that. 
An irate orange tabby plops himself in front of you, blocking your view of the glaring screen and you figure that it’s time for a break. 
“Me-oow.”
“I know, I know,” You answer tiredly, standing up to dodge a stray paw clawing your way and you hear cracks in three different places that are honestly unbecoming of a woman your age. You haven’t even reached thirty yet, for god’s sake. “I’m a bad mother. But mom also had to skip dinner to make it to the seven PM meeting, so cut me some slack, okay?” 
A high-pitched “meooowr!” is the only response you get; it seems like there’s no excusing late dinner time this time around. 
As much as you’d like to hem and haw and complain, the main reason why you’re still keeping this job is because you can work remotely. If it weren’t for the fact that you’re stuck most days at home working hours past your regular nine to five, having to be on-call around the clock at all times, and that you’ve consumed more sodium than a nitrite victim with the way you live off cup ramen, then, really, it beats working in an office where you’d physically have to clock in and out from exactly nine to five. 
Your right eye twitches. No, I have not fallen in love with the system that exploits me, thank you very much. 
“Here is your Fancy Feast, your highness,” you tell the hungry feline who’s already ignoring the hand that feeds for the bowl full of white fish paté. He eats healthier than you, sure, but you work like this for him to eat like this. The life of a single mom is an uphill battle, but extremely rewarding. 
You raise your hand to pat your son’s head lovingly, aborting the gesture halfway when you hear a warning growl. Alright, tough crowd. 
After nuking a half-eaten takeout box in the microwave and grabbing a cold Bundaberg from the fridge, you hunker down on the “chaise lounge” (see: an old wingback and a rattan ottoman you’ve refurbished as a makeshift seat a few weeks back when you had guests over) for a late meal. 
You barely register the taste of lukewarm rice on your tongue, mouth moving mechanically while your mind runs on autopilot about everything and nothing at the same time. 
Maybe it’s time to check Jobstreet again
Is there like a laundromat near the area that’s open twenty four seven
Eugh, I hate cold peas
What do we feel about Chromakopia? 
I will… die alone
I really need to stock on some fresh produce this weekend–
Ping! 
A notification from your phone pulls you out of your thoughts – and like a well-trained dog pavlov’d into responding, you visibly perk up at the sight of your lock screen lighting up and the familiar banner you’ve already memorized by heart. 
Your Galaxy Explorer rewards are here. Did you put my hotel’s address as the shipping address? 
Ah, just like clockwork. 
You press on it with a quiet, bubbling anticipation, chewing on the plastic spork as you wait impatiently for the silly mobile game that’s been your short respite at intervals – for more than you’d care to admit – to boot up. 
Offhandedly, you wish that the devs would add more variations to the game’s push notifications; more random, personalized stuff like maybe a reminder to drink water, or a fun update about their day. What you’d give – pay – for a: "Less on the overtime, kitten. I miss you,” dialogue from a certain character, but you digress. 
Oh, well. Probably better this way, lest you dig yourself deeper into delusion. 
The game greets you with the usual picturesque view of a silver-haired man sitting cross-legged on a chair, looking all the bit at ease in his signature crimson and white button up. The warm ambience of the Destiny Café at night draws you in, already pulling your attention away from the never-ending stream of thoughts in your brain. 
“Before seeing you, I thought today would be another dull day,“ Sylus comments airily. The way he drawls out the words in that deep timbre of his voice never fails to make your heart flutter – just a teeeensy bit.
“Ever the charmer,” you sigh happily in return, situating yourself more comfortably on the sofa, almost horizontal from how far you’re leaning back on the cushion. “You’re looking awfully normal tonight. What, no pineapple glasses for your favorite girl?” 
Having bypassed the initial cringe of talking to yourself after literal months of gameplay, it almost comes off natural, the banter. You’ve already accepted the fact that you’re crazy about a fictional, pixelated man – what’s pretending to have actual conversations with him gonna do? It’s not as if he actually hears you yap your nonsense; there are worse things in the world than a parasocial attachment to an otome game character. 
Your little jab at the sometimes random addition to his choice of attire earns you a laugh from the man itself– or at least it looks as though it does, making you blink momentarily in surprise. Happy coincidence, I guess.
You shake your head, cracking a smile, then proceed to do the routine of completing the daily agenda and then some. 
It’s tedious business, sure. You’ve dedicated hours upon hours on this game and you’re honestly starting to feel pretty bored with some of the gameplay elements, but you *do* like the ritualistic nature of ticking off the tasks one by one. It’s almost ironic – the way you dutifully do one thing after the other in this game, just to avoid the pile of work that’s waiting for you in real life. 
It’s not as if anything, or anyone’s relying on you to do your daily log-ins, so you suppose it’s due to that lack of pressure as well. 
Pulling yourself away from the five-star Xavier memory card you’ve grinded to level seventy, you stare despondently at the sad little 2 on your remaining energy. The embarrassing amount of materials you lack to ascend the card seem to mock you, even as you exit the Memories window. Another goal for another day, perhaps.
All tasks on the daily agenda are complete, except for one that you’ve always saved for last.
You’re met with a standing Sylus on the game’s home screen, arms crossed and wearing an expression you’d almost describe as impatient, if you didn’t know any better. The sight makes you grin. 
Cheekily, you poke his crotch.
You’re looking forward to getting a playful remark, or if you’re lucky, a blush along with an embarrassed retort about your shamelessness. 
 What you get, however, is a resounding scoff. Your eyes snap back to his face – from, ahem, your prolonged staring at the area below his waist – and you do see the familiar tinge of pink on his cheeks, but what he says in response catches you off-guard.
“You spend that much resource for a card that isn’t mine?” Sylus tsks, both his voice and expression coming across as… affronted? “Kitten, I’m actually hurt.” 
Huh?
You haven’t heard that line from him before. Was there a recent update you weren’t aware of? The man in question then appears to look amused, from the way you’ve been rendered speechless by the unexpected dialogue. 
All at once, you gasp when you realize what the new response means. 
“That’s so smart,” you say giddily. You see Sylus cock his head to the side, synchronously quirking an eyebrow—expectant. “They actually added a feature that lets them know which memory I’ve upgraded last, and make you react to it. Oh, that’s so cool!” 
If you weren’t too busy being excited over what you think is a new update from the game,  you’d see the chagrined look on Sylus’ face. But when you glance back at him, all trace of the emotion is gone before you could notice anything different. 
“Don’t worry, Crow Man. You’re still my favorite,” you assure him, making his mouth tick upwards in a semblance of a smile. He looks pleased all of the sudden, his demeanor shifting into something more relaxed.
Then a pout forms on your face. You crinkle your nose in frustration as you complain, “It’s just really hard to level your cards up at this point. It takes ages and a shit ton of energy just to level you up past seventy five.” Sighing, you add, kind of bitterly, “And I’m too broke to be spending money on growth packs.” 
Checking the time on your phone, you see that you’ve already spent more than an hour on your self-imposed break time and you know that you ought to get back to work soon. With a groan, you pull yourself to sit upright, savoring the last few minutes of free time before you slave off for the rest of the night. 
You’re about to clean up what’s left of dinner when you notice the oddly thoughtful look on Sylus’ face. 
There’s a deep furrow in his brows as he brings a hand up to cover his mouth. He closes his eyes shut for a few seconds. He's never done that gesture before... Ugh, he looks really hot–
Suddenly, you see a flicker— then a weird, sort of graphic distortion happening in the background. Uh, what??
A beat; then a glitch on the screen. “Ah, shit.” 
The game crashes.
You exhale loudly as the game’s interface goes back to the loading screen, tapping your thumb impatiently as the bar slowly loads to 15%... 50%..... 81%....... 
“Maybe make sure to patch up first before releasing an update next time, jeez— Huh?” 
For a quick second, nothing seems to be amiss. But then the first thing you see on the home screen is Sylus’ figure standing before you, wearing an expression one could only describe as a cat that ate the proverbial canary. 
He speaks— and it’s another intro you haven’t heard him say, ever. 
“You should’ve told me sooner, sweetie,” he almost coos the words out, making your eyes bug out in shock. 
“Now, why don’t you go check your–” he pauses, and his mouth moves as if he’s rolling the word out, testing it. “Inventory?” 
Sylus slides his gaze towards the upper left corner of the screen, a coy smirk still ever-present on his face. 
There, you see something you haven’t noticed earlier: two notification badges. One on your mailbox, and another on the Hunter’s Info tab. Bewildered, you press on the mail icon first, despite the insistence for you to start with the latter. 
You see a new message: [For You]
A small gift, to bridge our worlds closer. – S 
Nothing is attached to it. You read it twice, perplexed.  
“You’re quite the contradictorian, aren’t you?” Sylus tuts as soon as you return back to the home screen, his gaze boring into you even when he tilts his head sideways in mock exasperation. “Mmm, I suppose it doesn’t matter. Take all the time you need, sweetheart.” 
Helplessly, you open your inventory next. 
Your jaw drops. 
“What. The fuck,” You whisper to yourself, voice wavering in disbelief at what you’re seeing, and the sheer amount of what you’re seeing. “This– this can’t be real.” 
You see that all the materials you own, from the bottle of wishes to the ascension crystal boxes, have been multiplied a hundred times over.
And on top of that–
Ninety nine thousand red dias????
You cannot believe how this– this recent… update (or is it a bug? Infold sure isn’t this generous) didn't make the news. Even as someone as uninvolved as you are with the community and the game’s latest releases, something like this for sure would’ve made headlines on Twitter (X), at least. But you haven’t heard anything. Nada. 
Holy shit. 
You feel a little light-headed, both from incredulity and excitement. Needing a moment to calm yourself down, you exit the Inventory tab in a daze.
You stare at Sylus. He stares back at you with what looks to be mirth in his eyes. 
Skeptically, you mutter, “did–did I get hacked or something?” 
Anticipating another unexpected dialogue to prompt up, you wait for a full minute without saying anything else. And for a moment, the man in front of you looks indecisive, contemplative. 
There’s something very odd, very… human in the way he’s looking at you. He looks as if– as if he’s—
His face falls back into a neutral expression. Not unlike how his idle animation usually looks. 
..
….. It doesn’t seem like he’s going to initiate a conversation any time soon, so you hesitantly poke him on the nose. 
“Even in the worst-case scenario, there’s no need to panic.”
You’ve heard that one before.
So he’s back to normal now. You temper the small disappointment that blooms in your gut. 
Shaking your head slowly, you try to make sense of all the stuff that just happened, but a sharp bite on your ankle pulls you out of your reverie. 
“Ow–!” The sight of your cat flopping near your feet reminds you of the time. More importantly, the backlogs waiting for you at your desk. 
“Wait, shit– I gotta get back to work.” This… unbelievable stroke of good luck (?) is gonna have to take a backseat for now.
You grab the carton box and the half-empty bottle of sparkling peach as you stand up. Making quick work of throwing the container in the trash and gulping down the rest of your drink, you rush into your room and back in front of your PC. 
Cracking your knuckles, you gingerly set your phone against the monitor. Setting the timer to one hour in Quality Time, knowing fully-well that you’re going to have to keep extending it until the wee hours of the morning – or until your battery dies, whichever comes first – you give Sylus one last look, letting out a long exhale before locking in.
“Just keep me company for the night, alright? I’ll figure out what’s going on once my shift’s over.” 
It could just be your overactive imagination, but you swear you hear a quiet chuckle from the man polishing his gun in your peripheral.
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thestrangepoet · 1 month ago
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The Ninth Life | The Magnus Archives One Shot
Based on @ultramarinaa's Cat!Martin AU, and not upon @coworkerjonathan's soul-destroying tragic version of it. If you want that version, it's here.
CONTENT WARNINGS: Buttocks-clenchingly sweet fluff. 
DISCLAIMER: I, once again, wrote this in an hour and haven't proofread it. Forgive the typos and any “first draft” vibes. 
──── •✧• ────
[CLICK] 
Oop, yup, it’s on! Right, erm…This is Martin Blackwood, Archival Assistant at the Magnus Institute. I thought it would be a good idea to—
[A VERY LOUD, VERY RASPY HISSING CUTS MARTIN OFF]
[A LONG, WEIGHTY PAUSE FOLLOWS; SOMEONE IS BEING GLARED AT]
What? I-I mean, given the absolute palaver we just went through, shouldn’t we record what happened and how we fixed it? 
[SILENCE FOLLOWS. BUT MARTIN EVIDENTLY GETS HIS ANSWER]
Exactly! Right, so…ah-hem. This is Martin Bla—
[ONCE AGAIN, A LOUD HISS]
What? What is wrong with—No, Jon, you’re going to hit the—!
[CLICK]
[CLICK]
[MARTIN RUFFLES SOME PAPERS, THEN EXHALES LOUDLY THROUGH HIS NOSE. WHEN HE SPEAKS THIS TIME, IT’S SOMEWHAT TAUT]
Statement of Martin Blackwood, Archival Assistant at the Magnus Institute, London, regarding an encounter with a feline-based Leitner book called The Ninth Life. Recorded by subject, October 17th, 2017.
Happy now? 
[LOUD PURRING NEAR THE TAPE RECORDER SIGNIFIES THAT MARTIN HAS INDEED DONE A PASSABLE JOB]
Good, good. Right, oop! Yeah, okay, you can…sit on my lap while I record this. That’s not…that’s not weird at all. Knowing you’re…you’re Jon. 
…You could at least sit like a cat, Jon. No, no, no, don’t get the claws out, it’s fine! Sit how you want! Heh…K-keeping an eye on me, hmm? While I record? Oh, r-right, yeah, ‘Get on with it, Martin’, noted!
So…about ten weeks ago, I came across a book while tidying through some of the old statement boxes. I’m not sure why it wasn’t in the library or in Artefact Storage, but I suppose that’s a mystery for another time. A-anyway, I had a flick through to try to figure out what it was. Could have just been a normal book, you know? E-especially since it wasn’t put away properly, I mean, really, that’s a health and safety risk that wasn’t my fault, and—Ow! Claws! 
R-right, ‘Stay on the subject, Martin’, loud and clear…
Where was I? O-oh, right. So I took it through to the break room, sat down with it, flicked through, read a few…err, well, ten pages to be precise, and basically, it was written like an old fairy tale. Something about a man who turned into a cat to get away from everyone and…W-well, what I’m trying to say is that it didn’t seem like a Leitner! 
I’d probably have finished reading the whole thing, but the microwave dinging made me jump and look up. No one usually uses the microwave outside of lunch hours, but Jon actually makes cups of tea by microwaving mugs of water and then—Ah-ah-ow! N-no, I’m not getting claw-bullied into not telling people the heinous way you make tea, Jon! 
Right, right, fine! Yes, so, microwave dings, I look up from the book, and…I drop the book. And I drop to the floor, a-and the book’s suddenly huge, and there’s Jon, and he’s looking at me, and…
…and I was a cat. I-I-I guess Jon hadn’t noticed me in the break room before putting his mug in the microwave, because he didn’t realise I was me. Next thing I know, I’m being picked up, held over his shoulder, petted and cooed at and—Owwww, claws, claws! Right, okay, no, no one can know Jonathan Sims has a heart, right you are! 
E-erm, so…Yeah. Panicked a bit. I-I tried to make it obvious to the others that it was me, but they just didn’t cotton on. And I couldn’t read the book to figure out if the ending would tell me how to turn back. O-or if I even would turn back. Honestly, in any other situation, I-I might have been really terrified, but it’s hard to keep worrying when people are suddenly stroking you and giving you all this affection. Heh, Jon even named me Champion. 
But, right, I-I really needed to turn back into a human. You know, as lovely as it was to be liked by everyone, I figured, well, it’s deeply unprofessional to turn into a cat at work, isn’t it? And I really didn’t want to be written up for unauthorised absences when I was technically in the room? 
It took a while – I don’t know who moved it, but the book had gone when I managed to slink back into the break room, had to wait for someone to open the door for me, you see – but I eventually found The Ninth Life again. 
It took ages to drag it over to Jon’s desk. And even longer for him to stop laughing and telling me what dedicated little chap I was. He picked up the book though, and I got so excited that someone would finally realise a Leitner was in play that I jumped up onto his desk and…
…and I…erm…I knocked his cup of tea over the book. 
I could feel my heart sinking. What if I’d ruined it? What if the answer was all smudged up? Jon could tell I was upset, and he started trying to pet me and calm me down, mopping up the tea and everything. Took a while before he got back to the book, and, well…the bookplate had been smeared by the spilt tea, I guess, because he didn’t see any mention of Leitner at the front. He started reading the book, and I tried to nudge him to read the back pages first, to get to the answer before the book could turn him into a cat, but he, erm…well, he read it. Five pages, we think. 
And there he was. 
One minute, Jon’s at his desk, the next, there’s a little black cat with too many scars sitting in his chair. 
Well, after he’d stopped hissing, running around the room – Tim thought he had zoomies, ha ha! – and bapping me on the head every time I got close, he realised who I was. 
And then, he bapped me on the head again. 
So. We were both cats! And it’s so funny, because in the office, Tim and Sasha and me, we all say how Jon gives off major black-cat energy? He’s like this poor wet cat in human form, and now that he was a cat, and it turned out, he is…w-well, he’s not very good at being a cat? 
[A LOUD HISS – EVIDENTLY, MARTIN HAS FORGOTTEN JON IS SITTING THERE]
Don’t hiss at me! You know it’s true. I mean, look, you’re literally sitting in my lap now like a human. Cats don’t do that, Jon! It looks weird! 
R-right, okay, let’s, erm, get on with the story – ah, statement, statement! – before I get scratched again. 
S-so, right, Jon wasn’t really getting the hang of being a cat. He kept clambering up onto desks to type on keyboards, trying to tell Tim what was happening. He wouldn’t even jump up onto the desks, he would literally shimmy up the leg like he was climbing a tree. And, yeah, he doesn’t sit in your lap like a cat, all curled up, no no, he sits…like a person sits. So I figured actually, this was pretty good, someone had to realise something was up with this cat that just wasn’t catting. 
But no. No, no, Tim just laughed and named Jon Skrunkly and got on with his day. 
[A LONG, LOW MIAOW OF CONTEMPT IN THE BACKGROUND]
Nooo! You’re not skrunkly at all, Jon! You’re a very handsome little kitty!
[A HISS]
Right, right! Back to work! Erm, yeah, so, there I am, trying to teach Skr–err, Jon how to act more like a cat. Not because it would help get us back to normal, but because I was worried? He kept falling off stuff, not landing on his feet…jumping and missing things…He was having a really hard time, and I figured if we were stuck like this indefinitely, it might help to, you know…teach him a bit? 
And then, one day, he just…vanished. I wandered in one morning from the canteen, ‘cause Sasha had snuck me a plate of milk, and I couldn’t find Jon anywhere. Tim realised pretty quickly that something was up, that I wouldn’t settle down, and then he noticed Skrun–err, Jon, was missing. 
It took days for me to sniff him out. Which is…a really weird thing to say out loud. On record. Erm. I sniffed my boss out. But it’s insane, as a cat, the difference in senses, a-and to be honest, my eyesight was dreadful because I obviously couldn’t wear my glasses. A-anyway, sniffed him out, and realised he had somehow fallen into the tunnels through the trapdoor? Which is weird as well, ‘cause the trapdoor is always closed. No one would have opened it? 
[ANOTHER LOW MIAOW, BUT THIS ONE SOUNDS STRANGELY LIKE SKRUNKLY IS TRYING TO SPEAK – IT ALMOST SOUNDS LIKE HE’S SAYING ‘SASHA!’]
I know, Jon, you’ll tell us when you, erm, get back. 
So, now I knew where he was, I went into full hyperkitty mode. I was zooming around, miaowing, pawing, jumping on Tim, jumping at Tim, launching myself off bookshelves, you name it! Somehow, I managed to get the message across, and Tim went to open the trapdoor. 
I…I hate going into the tunnels. I really, really hate it. But Jon was down there, and as far as we knew, he’d been down there with no food and water for days! So, down I jumped, with Tim clambering after me telling me to slow down. I kept sniffing, and it was actually pretty easy to find him after that! 
There he was, curled up and shaking near a wall, and I ran towards him, miaowing my head off so he knew we were coming to the rescue, and…
And I…changed back. Right there. Just pop! There I was. 
Tim, erm…Tim screamed. Jon hissed and nearly ran away. It was chaos, and…I’m actually surprised all three of us made it out. Especially with Jon going wild on Tim and clawing him every time he tried to pick him up. What was that about, anyway, we were helping you!
[ANOTHER GRUMBLING MIAOW – DID SKRUNKLY SEE SOMETHING IN THE TUNNELS? OR SOMEONE? WAS HE TRYING TO TELL THEM?]
We got back up to the office, Jon in tow, and now that I could speak, Tim, Sasha and I managed to hash out a theory. 
Basically, we figure that there are a lot of Leitner books that kind of do different things depending on how much you read of them. S-so we have one on record, A Disappearance, if you read one line, you disappear for a bit. But, if you read the whole book, you disappear from the world for good. 
I read ten pages of The Ninth Life, and I was a cat for ten weeks. Checks out! So we reckon Jon read about five pages, and it’s been three weeks, so…two weeks of Skrunkly to go!
Right, think that’s it. Yeah! So, erm, if you’re looking for a cure for The Ninth Life, just enjoy your time as a kitty and wait it out! U-unless you read the whole book, in which case, erm…I-I really hope you enjoy your life as a cat. 
End recor–Ow! What did I miss off this time? 
[SEVERAL LIGHT THUDS SOUND]
Why are you pawing the book, Jon? I…oh. Right. 
Erm…I think Jon wants it on record that, erm…the book is eleven pages long. And…and I read ten pages. 
[THUD-THUD-THUD!]
Yes, yes, all right, you microwaving your tea saved me from an eternity as a cat! That does not mean I am going to let you continue to ruin perfectly good cups of tea like that!
[A LOUD MIAOW OF PROTEST. MARTIN SIGHS]
Recording ends. 
[CLICK]
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atoltia · 2 months ago
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A Feline Distraction
You head over to one of Sylus' villas in the suburbs only to find him... being yelled at by a cat?
In which Sylus got chosen by the cat distribution system.
Sylus x !femMC
Fluff, domestic fluff, a cat
-0-
You really didn't know why you came by so early.
When Sylus sent you the invitation to come to one of his villas - the same one where you sought out shelter from the rain that one time you had a mission in the suburbs - he didn't set any time, just the open message that he will be there and he does not have any work that day.
Which was his way of telling you that yes, he was aware that it is your day off and he wanted to spend the day with you. The invitation sounded innocent enough, if the man that you were thinking about wasn't Sylus. You knew very well that if you didn't go, he'd have gone to your apartment instead whether you liked it or not, and considering that Xavier just came back from one of his long missions - it might just be best if you indulged the man.
And besides, it wasn't like it was going to be unpleasant. It's a nice day out and you remember that house having a pool and a lovely garden. Maybe you could convince him to take a dip with you, clothes being optional.
And Sylus - well, it's been a few weeks since the two of you spent some time together and you do admit that you've missed the man. Besides his seemingly gruff persona, he's pleasant company to be around with (and you definitely didn't miss the way he would hold you, just keep you in his arms whenever the two of you were together. Definitely not).
So there you were, pushing through the gates of the villa while the early morning sun shone bright overhead, admiring the way the blossoms of the nearby flower bushes were blooming as the sunlight dappled through the trees.
You looked up, your lips curling into a smile when you saw him by the rose bushes, standing tall and proud with his arms folded over his chest, his face contorted into a frown -
Hm, what?
You stopped, blinked as you watched Sylus stand there beneath the shade of the nearby trees, long fingers pinching the bridge of his nose as a kitten was trying - and failing - to climb his pants leg while an open can of tuna lay undisturbed by his feet on the cobblestone walkway.
It was a pretty little thing. White, wispy fur with a cute dark spot at the top of its head covered a tiny little baby about the size of your hand. It couldn't have been more than a few weeks old, maybe a month, by your estimate.
It was stubborn though, judging from the way it kept climbing Sylus' pant no matter how much it fell, and the loud shrills of its mews was very present in that lovely morning as it desperately demanded the man's attention.
"Sy." You smiled when he looked up, those ruby, ruby eyes that were swirling with frustration mere moments ago shifted, warmth blooming into them when his gaze landed on you. He didn't move to meet you as he decided to stand his ground as his leg kept getting barraged by one tiny cat, although his arm outstretched to grasp you the moment you were within his reach.
"Hi," he murmured into your hair, twirling a lock of it between his long fingers as he pressed you to his body, careful to not agitate the still climbing kitten.
"Who's this?" you asked as you looked down at the little rascal, now chirping at the both of you. It's gotten up to his waist now, claws fully dug into the leather of his belt.
Sylus sighed, and you could see his attempt to dig for patience. "She's been trying to climb me for the past half hour now," he grumbled, his fingers tapping into the length of your back. "Like a certain kitten that's insistent on her bedtime schedule."
You laughed, brightening his day almost immediately, as you leant slightly to cup the kitten within your hand. It didn't make a fuss, but it now directed it's insistent mewing at you.
"Aren't you a pretty baby?" It wasn't lost on you the way Sylus' eyes softened as you cooed, his head tilting to the side as he shifted his bodyweight to his other foot. You bent down to the ground to where the tuna was, nudging the baby so it could eat.
Before it immediately jumped back to climb Sylus' leg.
He turned towards you.
"Do you see the problem now?"
You inhaled from your nose sharply, his eyes narrowing when he saw you struggling to keep your composure. "Wow," you exhaled as you hid your smile with the back of your hand. "Such a problem, indeed."
He clicked his tongue before drilling a finger into your side, which resulted in you being unable to hide your glee of the situation anymore as you doubled over in delight.
So hilarious was your partner's plight that you just had to lean up, used his wide shoulders as support as you stood on the tips of your toes, to give him a noisy kiss on his jaw.
The kitten mewed between you.
"Yes, yes," you chided, picking the baby back up and holding her up to his eye level. "She wants you."
"Doesn't everyone?"
"The cops certainly do."
He snorted, once again folding his arms over his massive chest as stared at the cat in your hands. It took him a few moments, but you've spent enough time with him to know that there were hundreds of thoughts circulating in that man's head as he tried to figure out the best course of action.
Yet, he sighed in defeat.
"Come here." The kitten was dwarfed within his hands, her big eyes impossibly bright as he turned her over to be cradled in his arms. The incessant mewing stopped and was already replaced by purring that could rival his motorcycle engine.
You were ecstatic.
Now within the confines of the house, the kitten went absolutely feral over the tuna that it ignored for over half an hour, making a mess of its tiny face and his marble countertops.
"What are you naming her?" you asked, your fingers gently petting the top of the cat's head.
It wasn't often that you saw Sylus to look so affronted, but to see him like that over a cat was a hilarious experience.
"I'm not keeping it."
"Why not?"
He looked at you, one wonderfully sculpted brow arched at your direction. "Do you really expect me to keep a cat?"
You raised a brow in turn. "You have Mephisto."
"Sweetie," he said, digging for patience from his already lowered supply. "He's a mechanical bird."
"His battery died once in the middle of watching me and you freaked out and came to get him yourself."
"He's my eyes on you," he insisted. "I needed him fixed immediately."
Your brow stayed lifted. "I still have video of you cradling him like a baby," you said evenly. "Or did you forget that ever happened?"
He lifted a shoulder, shrugged. "I'm merely protective of what's mine."
"Great," you said as you clasped his hand, pumped it once. "You'd do great with Sofia."
"Excuse me."
"Nice dealing with you, love." Mirth flashed in your eyes as your lips quirked with laughter.
He tugged your hand, pulled you towards his chest. Frustration mixed with amusement danced in his eyes as he leaned down and nipped your lower lip. "If that's how you proceed with negotiations, I'm going to have to sit you down for lessons."
"If it works, it works." You kissed his throat, hummed, rocked him as you stood. "I'm gonna go for a swim. Make sure you get the tuna off her face." And with a slight push, you were off him, making your merry way to the pool.
"What am I going to do with the both of you?"
You laughed, and the last thing you saw was him standing, both hands on his hips as he watched the cat.
-0-
It didn't take long for the photos to come.
Sylus wasn't averse to taking photos, certainly when it came to you considering the last time you checked his phone there were hundreds of pictures of just you.
He sent you several pictures of little Sofia with the excuse of giving you "updates" but you know full well he was as smitten with the cat as you were.
It's hilarious, really. He was a terrifying man. The mere mention of his name could make even the hardened of space criminals second thoughts. You've seen this man in combat, and even utilized his skills to aid you with your work. To the common folk, Sylus was the boogeyman that wasn't meant to be messed with lest you wanted to die.
Cats adored him.
Or at least curious about him, even with the smarmy look he always has on his damned beautiful face. Since the very first time you've met him, he'd be sending you a photo or two of random cat interactions, most of which he never invited to happen.
You remembered that one time he sent you a photo of one of his sitting rooms and asked you to find a black kitten that managed to get into his manor without anyone knowing. You had to come over and help him scour for hours because, as you found out, finding a black kitten in a room with dark furniture was nearly impossible.
And there was that other time, in the same villa where you found him being scaled by little Sofia, you two had quite a close encounter with another kitten that was stuck in his basement.
Many dates, many vacations, and you could always recall him being stopped by at least one cat and the occasional bird along the way. It was adorable, and the fact that he didn't quite agree with your assessment made it even more so. So you weren't that surprised to find him being hounded by a one month old kitten.
It became part of your morning routine. Beginning the day with cat photos was certainly a strong starting point, elevating your mood considerably. Practiced and posed, elegant photos of a quickly growing kitten graced your eyes, preparing you for a day filled with Wanderers, no doubt.
But Sylus' texts weren't the only ones you look forward to.
The moment Sylus stepped foot inside the manor in the N109 Zone, Luke and Kieran immediately added you to a group chat where they sent you all the other... media that your partner vehemently refused to send you.
The first stream of texts were several photos and videos of Sylus using his evol to help him bathe the kitten, with the front of his shirt and his hair already soaked.
And another one, a few days later which you assumed was taken from outside his bedroom window, of Sylus with his eyes closed, fingers digging deep into his biceps as Sofia and Mephisto were seemingly having an intense argument (the last photo in that set was Sylus directly looking at the window while streaks of red and black were lashing alarmingly close to the camera).
Many more photos of Sylus asleep either on his office or living room couch, fast asleep in the way you know he liked, with a cat sprawled directly on his stomach happily dozing the day away.
Kieran sent a photo of Sofia wearing a frilled collar decked out with sparkling rubies. The caption read: this cost more than six months of my salary (¬_¬")
You stifled a laugh, sending a quick reply before Captain Jenna caught you using your phone in the middle of your work hours.
You mean your allowance?
We don't get an allowance!, came the indignant reply seconds later. You get an allowance.
You grinned before sending him a crow emoji.
Your favorite one, however, was of Sylus frowning over what Luke said to be a legal document, the insult of having to read such a mediocre piece of legality plastered openly on his face all the while having a fluffy cat laying belly down on top of his snowy hair. It quickly became your phone wallpaper.
Mm. It has been a week since you last visited, and Jenna has been not so subtly pestering you to take some leave (it wasn't your fault you were a workaholic, but Jenna didn't want to hear it).
So that was that.
-0-
The sun was setting when you reached the manor, a large bag of groceries in one hand and a parcel on the other. The twins made quick work with the groceries the moment you stepped in, most likely because they knew you bought that new candy bar from Linkon City that they've been raving about for weeks.
You tried to not be too loud, as you knew Sylus would be asleep during this time of day. Soft footsteps padded on the polished hardwood floor
You remembered the first time you were given free reign to explore the manor, the amount of times you got lost amongst its many rooms, its many corridors. It used to feel so cold to you, so vast and cavernous even with the plush furniture and expensive art. No matter how many hours you've spent in front of one of the fireplaces in the many sitting rooms, no matter how many plushies you added to the bedroom he designated for you, no matter how many times you tried to make it feel like home.
It wasn't until that one night, more than a year ago now, that you felt the frost slowly dissipating. It wasn't anything special, just the two of you in the kitchen, trying to figure out what to make for dinner as the chef called in sick.
You didn't figure him being the type to know how to cook, seeing as he commanded his own business empire, but he was more than adequate. Still, you weren't about to let him do all the work. You were eating, too.
It was a mess, mostly because you two kept bickering about the recipe - with you being too stubborn to yield and him thoroughly enjoying the look of competitive frustration on your face. It wasn't fair that his reach was longer than yours, and even with your training, you couldn't take the recipe book that he held up in the air.
Cursing your hunter's training for a lack of a decent vertical jump, you landed a little bit wrong, a little to farther back than you anticipated. You remembered the surprised look on both of your faces and the sudden swishes of the black and red of his evol. A lot of cursing, a lot of pulling, and suddenly both you and him were on the floor covered in flour.
You barely registered the snickers of two voices by the doorway, didn't register the clicks and shutters of multiple photos being taken, and definitely didn't register immediately that you were on him, straddling him as the bag of flour rested on the top of your head (and yes, you still do remember the way his large hands rested protectively on your hips, which explained why you were on his lap rather than having a broken tailbone with an impact with the floor).
You two dusted yourself quickly, still bickering but with less heat, you decided to just order pizza all the while the two of you trailed flour on the floor.
It's a nice memory, one that you've come back to whenever you arrive here. And you were sure Sylus thought of it often too, considering the fact that he gives you a teasing look whenever you were in proximity of a bag of flour.
You basked in that warmth as you threaded the corridors, taking your time to get to the west wing to get to his bedroom. Opening the door as quietly as you can, you peeked it, smiled when you were met with a small mew.
Sofia laid at the foot of the bed, her tiny head raised in greeting. You shuffled in, careful to not make any noise. The parcel you carried was placed on the sofa as you secured the curtains, knowing full well that Sylus would be annoyed to wake up to open curtains.
You turned, smiled as you watched your partner just doze on the massive bed, hair mussed and squished to one side. Gone was the look of tension that he often had, the stress he carried momentarily held at bay. Taking off your coat, you moved to the bed, careful to not nudge too hard.
With one hand you patted the tiny cat's head just before you crawled beneath the covers, sighing when a strong arm reached out to wrap around your waist.
You let yourself get pulled into his warmth, get pulled into the safe and comfortable. With the utmost tenderness, you placed soft kisses on his bare chest, on his neck before nuzzling in.
It was still pretty early, you thought as the sleep was slowly overtaking you. A few hours wouldn't hurt. So long as it was with him.
Sylus woke an hour later, ruby eyes still bleary, and yet he was pleased to find himself being sandwiched by the two kittens in his life. He smiled that rare smile that was only reserved for you and sighed.
Maybe keeping the cat was a boon after all.
---
Listen. Sylus' Tender Curve has me in shackles.
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eddiesxangel · 5 days ago
Text
Eddie’s Gift | E.M x Reader
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Summery: you surprise Eddie with something sexy to wear. Oral (f receiving) p in v, unprotected sex, Eddie calls reader some names( pet, princess, baby)
1.3k words
There he was in all his glory; his legs spread wide, commanding the room, this was his territory and you were begging to be let in. His thick thighs, taunt you, making you wish you were the guitar that was between them at the moment.
You stood in the doorway, the music was softer than usual as he was focused on a new chord he was trying to perfect. You didn’t mean to interrupt, really, however you were too excited when you had gotten home.
He heard you come in, a quick hello from the hallway, some shuffling around then a small click he assumed from the bathroom door, and he gotten lost as he tuned back in on the song. Some time had passed, he wasn’t sure how much but when you cleared your throat his head shot up because he hasn’t seen his girl all day.
“Do you like it?” you giggle nervously. “I got it just for you.” Your hands trail the sleek black fabric that hugged your waist. 
You saw it in the window of a lingerie store while out shopping with the girls, and you knew you had to get it, even if it was a bit out of budget.
Eddie downt speak as he puts his precious guitar down and really soaks you in.
“Let me get a good look at you.” Eddie motions for you to twirl, taking in the black lacy garter belt that wrapped around your waist and down your legs to the sheer black thigh-high stockings. As you twirl, your stomach bursts in a crescendo of butterflies as your nerves penetrate your every pore. He only bites his lip as you turn your back to him, he can see your bottom is outlined perfectly by the thong you adorned, matching the shiny corset that had your tits so pushed up that his mouth watered instantly. 
When you turned back to face him fully, his face showed no emotion. “Come here.” He rubs his thigh as he beckons you closer. 
You take a few feline-like steps toward him, and he reaches out, gripping your hips once you’re close enough. 
“What did I do to deserve all this?” He pulled you in so close you had to bend your body over his shoulder. 
You feel his large hands trail down your waist. “Oh baby,” he moans as he gripped a hand on each cheek, kneading your ass before giving you a little spank. 
“I think my little pet deserves a reward.” 
His hands scoop from the bottom of your cheeks to your inter thigh, grazing your already wet pussy. 
“Crotchless?” he smirks up at you, you don’t dare break eye contact as he glides his fingers through your wet folds and up to his lips. 
You watch as he sucks his pointer finger clean before guiding it up to your parted lips. 
Your tongue swirls his finger, teasing him as you hum with satisfaction. 
“Good girl.” his voice is low, and your pussy flutters at the praise. 
“Come.” He pushes you back a little so he can stand up, he wants to take you to the bed so he can worship you properly. 
He guides you to your shared bed and instructs you to lie down, but not before kissing you so good it leaves you breathless. 
Eddie props up a pillow for you to lay your head on, and you sink back, still a bit nervous about how you're dressed. You’ve been naked in front of one another numerous times you’ve lost track, but never have you felt so exposed to him. 
“Don’t get shy on me now, Princess.” His hands cupped your knees, slowly pushing them apart as you let him. Eddie let out a soft moan once your pussy was exposed to him, you looked like a present embroidered with lace and he saw that your pussy was already slick just from the anticipation. 
“Can’t believe you’re all mine.” He half whispered, and your heart soared. 
You watched as his fingers traced the stocking from your ankle to knee, then down, lower and lower, until you lost them as they met the crease of your hip. 
“Eddie,” you whine. 
“What, you don’t want to be played with?” He gives a fake pout, jutting his bottom lip. 
“Y-yes,” you stutter when you feel his fingers graze your pussy lips. 
He didn’t say another word as he dipped down and nipped at the sensitive skin of your inner thigh, leaving small bruises in his wake. Lower and lower, his teeth grazed your flesh until his soft lips made contact with where you needed him the most. 
He did not dare use his teeth on you there… yet. He warmed you up with his skilled tongue as he buried his face inside of your core. 
You sang his praises as the feeling of your orgasm built. Your hips danced in sync with his tongue; his strong hand had to hold you down as he used the other to enter your slick hole. 
“Don’t get greedy now.” He looks you in the eye as he pumps in and out of you. You bite your lip from talking back to him. You know better than to, or else he will stop, and you are so close. 
“Sorry,” you coo. Eddie watches your chest rise and fall deeply; he knows you’re close. 
He can’t take his eyes off your tits. He can’t believe he has neglected them thus far. He crawls up your body, his hand still massaging your inner walls, but his mouth connects to the top of your breast. He nips and sucks at the skin, it’s so soft and plump he can’t help but to sink his teeth into your delicious flesh. He leaves another dark bruise, but you don’t mind, as his mouth moves on to the other one, then kisses a trail up your neck, only making you clench down on his fingers. 
“There she is.” He pulls always from your neck but he doesn’t stop, his gaze is locked on you, and you know better than to close your eyes while cuming. 
A look of pride is plastered on his face as he takes on your body, quivering for him. 
He pulls out, and you sink further into the bed. You hear the fabric shuffling above you, and you sit up to see Eddie in all of his glory. 
“Like what you see” He smirks as he observes you taking him in. 
You reach for him, desperately, as if he didn’t just make you cum. It wasn’t enough; you needed to feel him, all of him. 
“What did I say about being greedy?” 
“I deserve to be greedy.” You sit up on your knees and pull him in for a kiss. 
He lets you take the lead; you can taste yourself as you glide your tongue inside the contours of his mouth. His soft tongue dares to take over, but he submits as you press your body to his. He can feel your tits against his chest, his cock brushing to the soft material of your corest, staining it with his precum.  
“I want you,” you mumble into his mouth, your hand slipping between your two bodies, finding his hard cock, as his hands rest on your ass.
“So take me,” he mumbles back. 
Limbs intertwined, teeth clashed, and moans of desire filled the room as your bodies fell together. 
Eddie was sat against the headboard as your hips ground down on his cock. The squeak of the mattress and your breath were hard not to detect as Eddie guided you. His eyes glazed over with lust, seeing your body wrapped up in the garment made his head spin. 
“Your pussy, keeps on suckin’ me in so good, she doesn’t want to let go.” 
“N-nuh-uh,” you agree with him. She is greedy; she wants it so deep within her. “Fill me,” your legs burn so good as you take all of him to the hilt. 
Eddie takes you in, really looks at you. Your head thrown back- showing off all the love bites he’s marked on you, your tits bouncing in that glorious corset, the way your body’s connect and disappear into on another. Eddie’s hips thrust up into you so hard, matching your strokes, your bodies becoming one. 
The feeling was too good, your body felt electric as that familiar feeling within your core started to tighten and suddenly you were falling. Your pussy floods Eddie’s lap as he continues to hit that spot so deep within you, you’re crying out his name as a prayer you hardly notice Eddie let himself release inside you. 
You cling onto Eddie by the neck, refusing to defuse your bodies as you both catch your breaths. 
Eddie peppers your neck with small pecks before you find the strength to lift off his lap, your legs feeling like noodles and yo colapse beside him with a giggle. 
“Tell me you got this in every colour,” he snaps the waistband of your thong. 
“Give me $600 and your wish is my command,” you tease. 
“What?!” Eddies eyes blow wide open.
“Worth every penny” 
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