#Galactic Feline

[culturesfinest]

Ufo space kitty framed poster dark - Alien Cat Spaceship - UFO Kitten - Aliens Gift Xmas - Tapestry Wall Sign Securely framed in one of three colors (black, white, or walnut), these premium posters exhibit their varied contents through archive-worthy photo paper and ink. For easy hanging, there’s a backing hardware piece. The framing is made of MDF - a move pointing toward ecological friendliness. Further ensuring durability, the bordering is low maintenance and resistant to swelling and warping. .: LexJet Premium 200 gsm paper .: Protective acrylic cover .: Frames available in black, walnut and white finishes .: Hanging kit already fixed .: Matte paper finish Introducing the UFO Space Kitty Framed Poster, a whimsical and eye-catching piece of art that will add a touch of extraterrestrial fun to any space. This poster features a playful combination of two popular and beloved themes: UFOs and cats. The result is a unique and captivating design that is sure to spark conversations and bring a smile to anyone who sees it. The poster measures 18 x 24 inches and is professionally printed on high-quality paper, ensuring that the vibrant colors and intricate details of the design are beautifully rendered. The UFO Space Kitty is depicted in a retro-inspired style, with bold lines and a bright color palette that gives the poster a fun and energetic feel. The cosmic background features swirling galaxies and twinkling stars, creating a sense of wonder and adventure. What sets this poster apart is the addition of the UFO element, which adds an element of mystery and intrigue to the cat's playful antics. The UFO hovers above the cat, emitting a beam of light and casting a colorful glow over the scene. The overall effect is both charming and otherworldly, making this poster a truly unique and captivating piece of art. To further enhance the impact of the design, the poster comes beautifully framed in a sleek black frame. The frame not only provides a polished and professional presentation, but also adds a touch of dimension and depth to the artwork, making it stand out even more. The frame also comes with a protective acrylic cover, ensuring that the poster is preserved and well-protected for years to come. This UFO Space Kitty Framed Poster is the perfect addition to any space that needs a touch of playfulness and personality. Whether it's displayed in a living room, bedroom, office, or even a child's room, this poster is sure to make a statement and inject a sense of fun and imagination into the environment. It also makes a fantastic gift for anyone who loves cats, outer space, or just appreciates a good dose of whimsy. In conclusion, the UFO Space Kitty Framed Poster is a delightful and captivating piece of art that will add a touch of cosmic charm to any space. With its vibrant colors, playful design, and high-quality framing, this poster is sure to become a beloved and cherished addition to any art collection. Whether you're a cat lover, a UFO enthusiast, or simply someone who appreciates unique and eye-catching artwork, this poster is sure to capture your imagination and bring joy for years to come. Experience the magic of the UFO Space Kitty and bring a little bit of the cosmos into your home today.

[coseulidi]

220125

I adore this movie…

[jonsieedgygirl]

I have no idea, so I have to make a album cover post of this.

Because I really had to do this make that as a actual shitpost 👍

[mentagenesis]

What Is An Earthling?

In today’s article I’d like to explore something very few people ever contemplate. That is, what is an Earthling? In contemporary human thought, if an intelligent extraterrestrial species were to visit earth, they would recognize homo sapiens as having the highest intelligence because we are inclined to use technology to overcome physical challenges. But is that the only way for a society to…

[neon-lights-stardust-nights]

I don't take criticism

[catstar91]

I shared my progress and sketch layer with a couple of people on discord, but after a brief moment in the conversation where I pointed out I actually do the double finger guns thing irl at a moment's notice, it dawned on me that I'm like a fucking sonic character! I always joked I live the life of a cartoon character, but now I have to live with the critical psychic damage that I'm a sonic oc, and I don't think I can recover from this!

Anyway I'm just glad I've convinced at least 2 other people to draw with this pose. It gives me a strange sense of vindication! Sometimes you can be a little goofy as a treat :3

So I WANTED to post a drawing to celebrate my birthday, but it's almost 2 weeks late now and I might have to rewrite the draft I have for that plan...

Anyway I'm still proud of what I DO have for it, so I'm still going to upload the Bee-day piece no matter how bee-lated it may bee! Have a sneak peek at what's got me so buzzed :3

Personally I think it's too sweet to pass up, and who doesn't love a fuzzy bee day piece?

[sol-consort]

I Need to know how you think Salarians would react to cats

I need to know how the two best wide eyed clever bastards in existence would act with each other

Cats 🐈

[General, Alien species]

Salarians

We don't know how Salarian society views pets

Let alone keeping a mini predetor instead of a herbivore

I mean really, earth has so many safe-ish animals to pick from and humans decided to worship the ones with retractable claws and a symbiotic relationship with a parasite?

^ a salarian on their burner galactic Twitter account probably

It did fascinate their researchers, our tendency to establish bonds with various different species and adopt them into our herd

Humans have been doing it since the dawn of time

Like yeah sure they domesticed an animal or two for food and farms.

Not to mention the widespread of varren and pyjacks

But the sheer amount of pets humanity has is genuinely absurd

No one needs that many animal friends!

What do you mean you befriended the pigeons on the citadel?

A lot of theories circulate around about how this might have been one of the factors in our genetic diversities, exposing ourselves to other species microbes by living alongside them in the same housebold

Some projects are created by the salarians to help boost the quarian immune system through interactions with humanity's "friendly" animal species

It's when salarians discover the huge difference between a domesticated species and a species that chose to domesticate itself

Cats have a mind of their own and they'll let you know by slapping you with theirs paws

Claws even, if the mood strikes and you're too annoying

Especially with strangers

A lot of them can be cuddly and nice, but the lack of respect can only get you so far with a cat

They like sniffing them

The cats, they like sniffing the salarians, not the other way around

Although a good handful of salarians would attempt to sniff them back out of curiosity

Just when they think they got used to everything the cat has to offer, here comes the sandpaper tongue dragging in agonising affection across their face

But the soft fur feels heavenly against their skin

And the cats adore their extra padded frog-like fingertips when it comes to getting head scratches

The purring... oh the purring

They read so much about it, you know, watched many human vids documenting these feline species

But nothing could've prepared a salarian for the first experience of a cat nuzzling into their hand and just purring

They feel the vibrations travel upwards their limb and onto their chest, slowing down the beating of their usually fast heart rate

Even while they're working, this cat creature seems to never lose interest

Lounging on their desk next to the pile of papers, watching them move with keen eyes

The salarian feels inclined to explain what they're doing, the database they're currently updating, scanning papers, and uploading it onto the extranet servers

They know the cat can't understand them but why does it look like it's listening attentively

Taking interest in whatever item they're holding

Sniffing their omni-tool, watching the scanning process with wide pupils as if its ready to pounce onto the flashing lights

Like a switch flipping between a cuddly purring creature and an endlessly curious playful one

Until they're introduced to the cats' infamous 3am zoomies

Good thing that salarians don't sleep much

And with a perfect memory, there is no chance for the cat to trick them into a second dinner

....but it's too bad that their sad, hungry meows and starving performance seem to be twice as effective on salarian as it is on your average human

That's how the cats end up with a second dinner, a third breakfast, and an extra lunch

Listen, it's very hard to say no to those pleading eyes

Yes, they're aware they fed the cat before

Yes, they do remember feeding it with crystal clear memory

...But what if they hallucinated it?

What if the cat is telling the truth?

Lying is really tricky for salarians to spot

They have a massive bone to pick with why human children cartoons keep depicting adult cats drinking milk

That's just blatant misinformation you're sowing into your youths humans!

Something like that would never fly in a salarian children's cartoon

[fluffle-writes]

Alien Abduction AU - Species list + info

This is a list of the alien species and traits that I've come up with for some of the TWST characters - I mostly mushed certain animal traits together and built off of that lol. If anyone has any thoughts about my ideas then do feel free to let me know! My askbox is open for messages!

[POSTED A DRAFT BY MISTAKE - IMMA EDIT AND REBLOG THIS ONCE IT'S DONE]

Edonal

Hegehog-like aliens with a similar build to caterpillars.

Edonals are a species that is shorter by average, standing at an average height of 4'8-5'6 - although someay be taller or shorter depending on genetics.

They have eight limbs - two to four being used for walking whereas the others function as hands. Their choices on how they use their limbs can be affected by their need or desire to multitask, or the need to have extra stability for whatever reason.

Edonal communities have a mix of diurnal and nocturnal Edonals in order to maintain a smoothly running society that remains active both night and day.

Riddle, Sam

Avian

Trey (Violet-Green Swallow), Rook (Martial Eagle), Crowley (Crow)

Mairan

Butterfly or Moth-like aliens with more human-looking limbs and faces.

Mairans have eerily human-like faces and limbs, however they are often far more slender to allow their wings to lift them off of the ground. Their body - besides their wings - is protected by chitinous plating and their mouths actually open up more similarly to mandibles than human mouths.

Some species of Marian may grow soft, fluffy fur on top of their chitinous plating as an adaptation to survive colder climates or to blend in better with their surroundings.

Cater (Orange-Tipped Oakworm Moth), Vil (Mourning Cloak Butterfly), Epel (Chalk Hill Blue Butterfly)

Nelsian

Fox-like aliens with much shorter, rabbit-like, tails and stronger legs. They are also, on average, much fluffier than normal foxes unless they're adapted specifically for hot environments.

Ace (Red Fox), Kalim (Fennec Fox), Idia (Silver Fox), Ortho (Cybernetic Silver Fox)

Thesti

Canine species with a large range of appearances depending on their genetics. 'Thesti' is generally seen as an umbrella term containing many subspecies.

Deuce (Pitbull), Ruggie (Hyena), Jack (Wolf), Sebek (Cavalier King Charles Spaniel), Silver (Saluki)

Lonkat

Feline aliens with Scorpion tails and chitinous plating in some areas of the body. Lonkat Royalty is made up of those who are similar to Terran 'big cats' - whereas common society and lesser nobles are more similar to either domesticated or 'lesser cats' Such as Cheetahs or Pallas's Cats.

Leona (Lion), Trein (Persian Cat)

Chel'ir

An aquatic species that serves as an umbrella category for many subspecies.

The Chel'ir are the newest species to have joined the galactic union.

Jade, Floyd, Azul

Rilkol

Jamil

Thrican

Malleus, Sebek

Yelten

Bat-like

Lilia

[mysticstarlightduck]

Villain Sneak Peek (Supernova Initiative) - The Director

Oh, I had been waiting for this one! So, without further ado, meet one of the main antagonists of Supernova Initiative, the head of the Junction's science department, a renowned politician and incredibly sadistic bioengineer, The Director.

☆・・Aesthetic/Moodboard ・・☆

════════════════════════════════════════════

☆ ・・About/General Info ・・☆

An egotistical, sadistic, and cold-hearted scientist, The Director, otherwise known as Dr. Darius Merrik, is the celebrated head of the Junction's science and bioengineering department but also is one of the most important figureheads of the galactic government and a billionaire beloved by the media and the public. However, behind that philantrophic facade, lies a cruel, brutal man willing to go to inhuman lengths to get what he wants in the name of progress, and who does indeed love a good challenge, even if said challenge means playing a game of cat-and-mouse with the unlucky young intergalactic thief that got caught in his web.

☆・・More Info ・・☆

Pronouns - He/Him

Age - 56

Current Role - Antagonist, one of the Main Villains

Appearance - Darius is a tall, imposing man who is disturbingly strong for someone who spends most of his days closed off in his secret lab. He has short to medium-length grey-white hair and sharp blue eyes, as well as an often feline-like smirk that Jack is viscerally terrified/disturbed by. He wears stylish yet practical clothes, often opting for an impeccable, stark white suit over a coal-black turtle neck shirt, with white pants, and white shoes.

Picrew

Personality Types -

✶ Enneagram: 3w4

✶ MBTI: INTJ

Occupation: Billionaire, Politician, Scientist, Head of the Junction's Science Department, Torturer (secretly)

Species & Place of Birth: Human; Station Nexus

Sexuality: Unknown, but likely (from what little information is known about the 'real him') straight or bisexual.

☆・・Extras・・☆

✶ Character Playlist (A full Character Playlist is still To Be Made)

Birth To My Creation - Frankenstein, The Musical

Within the flesh a force resides If it could only be controlled If sleeping sparks could somehow be revived Think of the awe-inspiring power we would hold [...] I could spare the world the anguish Of loved ones taken in their prime The glory of a brave new world Will someday soon be mine [...] My endless days of study and toil Are finally near fruition The world will be forever changed By history's physician

The King of Villains/When I Said I Was Evil - Voltaire

When I said I was evil What did you think that meant? Didn't mean that I was naughty Or haughty Or slightly irreverent; When I said I was evil What did you think that implied? That I'm careless with the truth? How uncouth Dear God, did you think I lied?! [...] When you're truly evil It's so much fun It's kind of like a game Where some get maimed While you look out for number one

Confrontation - Les Miserables

You must think me mad I've hunted you across the years Men like you can never change A man such as you Men like me can never change My duty's to the law, you have no rights Now the wheel has turned around [...] Dare you talk to me of crime And the price you had to pay Every man is born in sin

A Story Told - Count Of Monte Cristo (Musical)

There are ends we've all got That can justify the means We negotiate Then fabricate the facts behind the scenes Keeping all the details vague And secrets hidden Safe on the balanced sheet of those you trust Because, history is a story told by the winners of the fightYou imply a little Lie a little [...] So we all are agreed Let's be vigilant and wise We must all pretend our naive friend was caught in his own lies [...] What if the cost is just one young man so three more can survive? He's a price we have to pay To live and fight another day for love and glory He was standing in the way of precious justice set on sail So goes the story

・・・

✶ Tags:

#wip supernova initiative #oc: the director #oc: darius merrik

Supernova Initiative Taglist (-/+): @ray-writes-n-shit, @sarandipitywrites, @lassiesandiego, @smol-feralgremlin, @kaylinalexanderbooks,

@diabolical-blue @oh-no-another-idea

@cakeinthevoid, @clairelsonao3, @sleepy-night-child

@thepeculiarbird

@the-golden-comet, @urnumber1star, @ominous-feychild, @anyablackwood, @amaiguri, @lyutenw @finickyfelix

@elshells, @thecomfywriter

Let me know if you'd like to be added!

[selfless-solipsist]

°˖✧ The Villain Meeting ✧˖° [Wander]

[I'm now writing in second-person pov, figured that it's better]

「 ✦ “A good tumble and a good laugh? You really do spoil me!” ✦ 」

╰┈➤ Wander x Female Reader ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

You lounged on your massive, luxurious bed, your spaceship's quarters dimly lit by the ambient glow of the galaxy streaking past your window. The room was a clutter of indulgent villainous chaos: trophies of conquered worlds, a few stolen artifacts glowing ominously in the corner, and a mountain of mismatched pillows threatening to consume the bed. The camera for the weekly villain meeting framed only your face and shoulders, projecting your indifferent expression to the rest of the galaxy's bickering baddies.

In one window of the screen, Lord Hater lagged, his skeletal face frozen mid-rant. The lime-green glow of his eyes stuttered as his connection battled galactic interference. His jagged teeth were locked in what might have been a scream, or possibly a sneeze—it was hard to tell.

"No! I'm the best!" Lag freeze "THE GREATEST!" his voice caught up for a brief, ear-piercing second before cutting out again.

Great start.

Next to him, Emperor Awesome's window displayed a shark-headed jock wheezing with laughter, his muscular frame bouncing as he clutched his sides. "Oh my Grop, Hater, you're such a noob. Fix your signal, bro!" he barked, flashing teeth that belonged more in a horror film than a galactic council meeting. He adjusted his spiked black belt, as if his hot-pink disco pants weren't already screaming for attention.

To the right of Awesome, Kragthar of Kraaathhh's video feed had frozen in the worst possible moment. His pig-like nose was scrunched up, and the angle of the camera had blessed him with an unflattering double chin. Pink flames barely flickered on the edge of his frozen frame, and his name placard blinked accusingly with the misspelled label: "Kragthar of Kaarrtthh."

You snorted softly, not bothering to hide the smirk playing on your lips. With one hand, you twirled a lollipop lazily, the sugary treat clicking against your teeth whenever you took a disinterested lick. This spectacle of absurdity—this villainous... PowerPoint meeting from hell—was the most entertainment you had had all week. 

And yet, none of them noticed the most chaotic part of your situation.

Nestled beneath the covers, Wander had made himself at home against you. His wide, floppy green hat sat precariously atop your bra on the nightstand, a quiet testament to the pre-meeting activities you had indulged in. The tangerine-colored nomad, with his always-cheerful grin, was currently kneading at your chest like a contented cat making biscuits. His eyes were half-lidded in concentration, his furred stomach lightly brushing against your bare skin under the blankets. You could feel his warm breath against your collarbone as he hummed a nonsensical tune.

It was absurd. Ridiculous. Incredibly Wander. 

And you? 

You were just letting him. After all, you were his first girlfriend, and if there was one thing Wander adored, it was you. Or maybe it was just your boobs. The distinction didn't matter—you had conquered galaxies; you could handle the attentions of a fluffy orange spoon.

"Mmm," Wander mumbled, pausing his feline-like ministrations to nuzzle closer. "You're so soft... like a cloud!"

"I'm sure," you murmured dryly, shifting the lollipop to the other side of your mouth. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes and adjusted the camera slightly, ensuring that none of his antics made it onto the screen.

"Uh, hello!?" Awesome's voice snapped you out of your thoughts. His window expanded slightly as he leaned closer to his camera, completely ignoring the frozen Kragthar and the lagging Hater. "You gonna back me up, or what? I clearly throw way better parties than anyone else here."

"You trashed an entire planet because they ran out of Thunderblazz," you replied flatly, your deadpan tone cutting through his bravado like a laser. "Such an achievement."

"Hey! That's... well, yeah, but it was justified! They insulted my vibes!" Awesome crossed his arms, pouting like a toddler denied a candy bar.

"Right. Very villainous of you," you drawled, taking another languid lick of your lollipop. You could feel Wander's soft chuckle vibrate against your ribs as he resumed his "biscuit-making."

Suddenly, Hater's voice burst through, his connection deciding to cooperate just long enough for him to yell, "I don't care about your dumb parties! I'm the GREATEST IN THE GALAXY!"

"Aw, is someone grumpy?" The shark villan teased, throwing an arm around his chair like he was about to break into song. "Maybe you need a little... cha-cha-cha... dance therapy?" He wiggled his shoulders in a ridiculous shimmy.

You couldn't help it. A laugh slipped out before you could stifle it, and both Awesome and Hater froze, staring at your screen. Wander, oblivious to the unfolding drama, nuzzled further against you, his content purr-like hum barely audible to the microphone.

Hater squinted suspiciously. "What... what was that noise?" he demanded, leaning closer to his camera until his skull face filled the screen.

"Oh, nothing," you said smoothly, leaning your chin on one hand. "Just enjoying the... entertainment."

The screen flickered, and Kragthar's frozen image briefly dissolved into static before reappearing with an even worse angle. Awesome fell back into laughter, and Hater's ranting resumed. Meanwhile, the nomad continued his affectionate mischief under the covers, blissfully unaware of the chaos on screen—and you wouldn't have it any other way.

After all, this was just how the meetings went.

And pure chaos they were.

The meeting droned on, but you were hardly paying attention. With each second, Wander's innocent humming and his peculiar choice of leisure activity had your focus divided. As the galaxy's most infamous villains argued over meaningless power grabs and party etiquette, he was blissfully undeterred by the chaos, his tiny hands working their so-called magic. You didn't even want to ask what kind of "technique" he thought this was.

"Woo-wee, darlin'," Wander suddenly piped up, his Southern twang as thick as molasses and ten times as dangerous. His bright eyes sparkled as they darted to the lollipop in your hand. "I gotta say, sugar, you sure know how to put that mouth of yours to real good use!"

You choked. Literally.

The lollipop caught mid-motion as your body betrayed you, sending you into a coughing fit. Your eyes watered as you sputtered, desperate to regain composure before the meeting's chaos magnified. A hand shot to your throat, the other gripping the edge of the covers to keep from exposing more than your pride.

On the screen, Awesome was mid-sentence, but he stopped. "Uh... You good there?" His shark-like grin faltered as his muscled arms flexed unconsciously, like he was ready to save you or something.

"Fine!" you croaked, waving a hand to dismiss his concern while glaring daggers at Wander. He simply giggled, leaning his head on your shoulder and giving your cheek a noisy, exaggerated kiss, as if you hadn't already suffered enough embarrassment for one meeting.

"Aw, she's blushing!" The other villain cackled, pointing at your screen with glee. "What's got you so flustered? Someone got a crush on me?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, and you shot him a glare that could have incinerated a moon.

Before you could retaliate verbally, Hater's screen blinked back to life with a vengeance. "WHAT WAS THAT?!" he roared, leaning so close to his camera that his skeletal features were practically burnt into your retinas.

"What was what?" you asked coolly, fighting the urge to shove Wander off as he snuggled even closer, practically melting into you like butter on a hot biscuit.

"That! That kissy noise!" Hater's finger jabbed at the camera, his green eyes narrowing. "That wasn't you! That was—!" His voice broke off, and his bony jaw dropped as Wander, ever the beacon of cheerful audacity, waved enthusiastically at the screen.

"Hiya, buddy!" Wander chirped, his grin as bright as a supernova. "Fancy seein' you here! Boy howdy, you look madder than a rattlesnake with a sore tooth!"

Hater didn't just see red; he saw the entire spectrum of anger. 

"WANDER?! What the—what the actual galaxy—YOU'RE HERE?!" He clutched his chest as if the betrayal physically pained him. "How... how could you—?! You of all people—!" His finger shook, bouncing between you and Wander's joyous expression.

"Yup, it's me!" The nomad confirmed, unfazed by the villain's meltdown. "Bet you're wonderin' how we're doin', huh? Well, let me tell ya—"

You slapped a hand over his mouth faster than light. "Don't," you hissed under your breath, your tone laced with warning. The grin beneath your palm widened mischievously. Wander mumbled something you couldn't decipher, but you knew it wasn't anything innocent.

"THAT'S IT! I'VE OFFICIALLY LOST IT!" The skeleton screeched, flailing in his chair like an overgrown toddler. "You—YOU—how can YOU be dating the biggest do-gooder in the galaxy?!"

"Technically," you mused, removing your hand from Wander's face, "I'm dating the cutest do-gooder in the galaxy." You gave the man in question a quick pinch on the cheek, earning a delighted giggle from the little orange menace.

And so your boyfriend leaned into the camera, squinting as if he couldn't quite see Hater properly. "Aw, Hatey, ya got a little somethin'—" he gestured vaguely at his own mouth "—right there. Oh, wait, that's just yer face!"

Awesome wheezed so hard he fell out of his chair. Hater screamed, louder than any hyperspace explosion.

Meanwhile, Kragthar's frozen feed continued to blink ominously in the background, an unintentional metaphor for the utter absurdity that had become your evening.

But then Hater's meltdown reached a fever pitch as he jabbed his skeletal finger at the screen. "GET HIM OFF MY SCREEN! I CAN'T TAKE IT! I'M GONNA LOSE MY—"

Before he could finish, a small, distinctly familiar figure popped into a brand-new window on the call. Bob, one of Hater's Watchdogs, blinked his single red eye innocently. "Uh, is this the meeting Commander Peepers set up for us soldiers?" His high-pitched voice crackled through, distorted slightly by his outdated microphone.

"WHO DARES?! WHAT THE—GET OUT OF HERE!" The overlord shrieked, flinging his bony arms around like he could swat the screen. His lime-green eyes burned brighter, their glow stuttering with his frazzled internet connection. "THIS ISN'T FOR YOU! YOU'RE RUINING EVERYTHING!"

"Oh, my bad, my bad!" Bob stammered, hands raised apologetically. But before he could click out of the meeting, two more Watchdog windows popped up.

"Wait, Bob, are you in the Peepers meeting?" one Watchdog asked, tilting his head quizzically. "I thought it was supposed to be a video conference," another chimed in, their audio cutting in and out like a bad radio signal.

"GET OUT!" Hater bellowed, his entire skull vibrating with frustration. "I DON'T CARE WHERE YOU GO—JUST NOT HERE!"

But it was too late.

Like an unstoppable domino effect, Watchdog windows began multiplying across the screen. They filled every available space, little cyclopean heads popping in with confused expressions, echoing queries of "Is this the meeting?" and "What's going on?" And within moments, the chaos reached its peak. Some of them began discovering the filters and effects, their tiny faces morphing into sparkly cat ears, rainbow overlays, and inexplicable pirate hats. One even activated a setting that turned their screen into a shimmering underwater paradise, complete with bubbles.

Wander clapped his hands gleefully, leaning closer to the screen. "Hey there, Wally! Oh, and there's Pip! Oh golly, how've ya been, Scoots? Ooh, nice filter, Zeke! You're lookin' sharp!"

Hater twitched violently as his arch-nemesis greeted every single soldier by name. The lag caused his image to freeze, leaving him stuck in a pose disturbingly similar to The Thinker. His skeletal chin rested thoughtfully on one fist, right next to Kragthar's perpetually frozen, unflattering frame. The juxtaposition made it look like the skeleton was silently judging a piece of avant-garde art.

Emperor Awesome's laughter rang out again as he pointed at the screen, tears streaming from his black shark eyes. "Hater! Bro! You look like you're contemplating the meaning of life over there! Oh, man, this is rich!"

"GET ME OUT OF THIS NIGHTMARE!" Hater's voice finally broke through, though his video feed remained stuck. He sounded like he was on the verge of shattering into a thousand angry pieces. "WHY DO THEY HAVE FILTERS?! WHO LET THEM TOUCH THE SETTINGS?!"

One Watchdog with a starry galaxy background piped up cheerfully, "I dunno, sir, but this is awesome!"

"No, it's not!" He yelled back, his lagging audio dragging out the last word into an embarrassing robotic whine.

Meanwhile, Wander was fully absorbed in his reunion tour, waving at every single Watchdog who popped up. You couldn't help but laugh as he adjusted his position, now sitting cross-legged on the bed with the covers barely clinging to your dignity. Every cheer and greeting from the helper seemed to amplify Hater's rage to catastrophic levels.

And through it all, Kragthar's window remained frozen, his double-chin glory unbothered by the chaos erupting around him.

After a while, Wander let out a happy sigh, wrapping his arms snugly around your torso as he nestled against you like the world’s most cheerful barnacle. His expression was pure bliss, his wide, innocent grin showcasing just how thoroughly satisfied he was—not just from your “pre-meeting activities” but from the sheer joy of now having an audience to torment Hater in front of. For Wander, it was like hitting the universal jackpot.

“Boy howdy, darlin’,” he cooed, his Southern drawl warm and syrupy. “A good tumble and a good laugh? You really do spoil me!” He punctuated the statement with a loud, playful smooch on your cheek, making your lollipop almost tumble from your lips for the second time that night.

Hater’s scream was instantaneous.

“GET YOUR DISGUSTING LOVE STUFF OFF MY SCREEN! THIS IS A PROFESSIONAL MEETING!”

Wander grinned, leaning lazily against you. “Aw, Hatey, you’re just jealous ‘cause you ain’t got anyone to smooch on! Don't worry, love will find ya, buddy!” He fluttered his eyelashes dramatically, eliciting a furious screech from the skeleton that was so loud, several Watchdogs in the windows visibly flinched.

But desperate to regain some semblance of control, Hater stabbed at his console, his bony fingers jamming buttons with reckless abandon. Unfortunately, his efforts backfired spectacularly. Kragthar’s frozen feed suddenly unfroze (how it was connected in any way nobody knew), his frame jolting to life—only for his camera to flip completely upside down. Now, the hulking, flaming villain appeared to be dangling from the top of the screen, his face twisting in confused annoyance.

“WHAT IS THIS SORCERY?!” The flaming villain bellowed, his voice booming as his tusked face swung wildly close to the upside-down lens. The pink flames around him flickered comically as he tried to correct his position, succeeding only in making himself look like a villainous bat clinging to the screen’s edge.

Awesome completely lost it. His laughter was so uncontrollable that he fell out of frame entirely, the sound of his chair toppling over barely audible through his gasping wheezes. “This… is… the BEST MEETING EVER!” he managed between gulps of air, his silhouette occasionally flailing as he fought to stand back up.

“EVERYBODY SHUT UP!” Hater howled, slamming his fists on his console. His frozen feed remained stuck in “The Thinker” pose, which only added to the absurdity of his impotent rage. “Watchdogs, GET OUT! ALL OF YOU, GET OUT!”

The Watchdogs panicked, their screens erupting into frantic activity as dozens of them tried to exit the call simultaneously. The result was a technological nightmare of body parts: close-ups of Watchdog butts, feet, elbows, and other awkward angles flooded the screen as they fumbled with their devices. One window briefly displayed a Watchdog’s lightning-bolt helmet bouncing as he tripped over something off-screen. Another window zoomed in uncomfortably close on a single eye, the pupil darting in all directions in a state of pure terror.

“LEAVE! LEAVE! I DON’T WANNA SEE YOUR BUTTS!” Their boss screamed, his voice cracking like a broken speaker. “WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BUTTS?!”

Why indeed.

Wander was giggling so hard now that tears streamed down his furry orange cheeks. He tightened his grip around you, burying his face against your neck as he cackled. “Oh, Hatey,” he gasped, his voice muffled. “You sure know how to throw a party! Maybe Awesome’s not the only one with ‘vibes,’ huh?”

“WANDER!” Hater screeched. His fury was palpable, even through the ridiculous frozen pose he remained trapped in. “GET OFF MY SCREEN! GET OFF MY—”

“Whoopsie-doodle!” The nomad interrupted cheerfully, reaching toward your camera and tilting it slightly, booping one of the buttons with his fuzzy finger. Now, Hater’s frozen, contemplative image sat directly next to Kragthar’s upside-down chaos, creating an accidental tableau that looked like Hater was thoughtfully judging Kragthar’s bat-like acrobatics.

“Perfect composition,” Wander said with an exaggerated artistic air, nodding approvingly. “You should hang this in your art gallery, Hatey.”

The skeleton’s scream reached a decibel level so high it could probably shatter glass.

But with the Watchdogs finally gone, the chaos levels dropped from apocalyptic to merely disastrous. Hater was still frozen on-screen in his “The Thinker” pose, but his voice had returned, though strained and wheezing like an overworked hovercraft. He took a deep, unnecessary breath and growled, “Okay… okay. They’re gone. I can almost pretend this isn’t the worst meeting of my life.”

You, smirking behind your lollipop, raised a hand placatingly. “Don’t worry, Hater. I’ll keep Wander behaved.” You patted the hatless head of your boyfriend, earning a delighted nuzzle that screamed anything but behaved.

Hater’s jaw visibly clenched. “As I was saying,” he began, his tone low and simmering with suppressed rage, “about the dibs on Planet Gronko—”

A new screen suddenly popped up, overtaking half the feed. 

Because of course.

The dark, blurry image of a hunched figure materialized, his ancient, wrinkled green face squinting at the camera as though it were a malevolent spirit. It was Mandrake the Malfeasant, and he looked as confused and technologically inept as ever.

“By the void, what in tarnation is this?” The old man croaked, his raspy voice thick with confusion and phlegm. He leaned forward, his beady eyes magnified grotesquely by his glasses. “Is this blasted contraption on? Hrmph! Took me half an eon to figure it out, but I won’t let some puny gadget outsmart me!”

Hater’s entire skeletal frame visibly sagged in despair. “No… no, not again… Mandrake, this is the seventeenth time—”

Mandrake cut him off with a hacking cough that sounded like a dying engine. He clutched his chest dramatically, wheezing so violently it looked like he might keel over. “It’s fine!” he rasped between coughs, waving off the concern that no one offered. “This old villain’s still got plenty of steam in him! Nothing—cough, cough—nothing can take me down. Not even… that dreaded Batman!”

Wander’s nonexistent ears perked up, his mouth twitching with suppressed giggles. “Batman?” he echoed, his wide grin growing impossibly wider. “Golly, Mandrake, I don’t think—”

But the villain squinted harder at the screen, his focus zeroing in on Kragthar’s frozen, upside-down feed. The pink flames flickered eerily, and the angle made Kragthar look like he was yelling insults at the camera.

“Blast it all, there he is!” Mandrake shouted, pointing a trembling finger at the screen. “That caped crusader finally found me! I won’t be rattled by you, Batman! Not today, not ever!”

“Kragthar,” Hater said through gritted teeth. “That’s Kragthar.”

Mandrake ignored him entirely, his frail body trembling with a mix of fear and righteous indignation. “I’ve faced foes far more terrifying than you, Dark Knight! You think your tricks can work on me? Ha! I was born in the shadows!” His triumphant declaration was promptly interrupted by another coughing fit so intense it nearly knocked his glasses off.

The skeleton buried his skeletal face in his hands. “I can’t do this. I cannot do this.”

Emperor Awesome, who had finally recovered enough to sit upright, was once again losing it. His wheezing laughter echoed through the call, loud and obnoxious. “Yo, Hater! You can’t even handle a retiree! This is priceless!”

Meanwhile, Wander gave a cheerful wave to Mandrake. “Mr. Malfeasant! Long time, no see! Boy, you sure look spry today!”

“Spry?!” The old evil-dooer barked, his ancient voice rattling like a rusty chain. “I’ll show you spry! Just wait ‘til I—” His tirade ended with another near-death coughing fit, this one so violent you wondered if he might actually keel over on camera.

Amid the chaos, Kragthar’s frozen feed remained resolutely upside-down, his expression twisted into eternal indignation. The juxtaposition of his fiery rage and Mandrake’s obliviousness was enough to send Awesome tumbling off his chair again, laughing so hard it sounded like he was choking on his own tongue.

Hater finally snapped. “MANDRAKE, GET OFF THIS CALL BEFORE YOU ACTUALLY DIE ON SCREEN!”

Mandrake hacked out a weak laugh. “Heh, you wish, Hater. This old dog’s got plenty of fight left! And as for you, Batman—” He pointed dramatically at Kragthar’s frozen feed. “You can’t stop me, no matter what tricks you pull!”

The self-proclaimed 'greatest in the galaxy' slammed his fists against his console, his patience teetering on the brink of obliteration. “MANDRAKE, YOU’RE TALKING TO KRAGTHAR, NOT BATMAN! HE DOESN’T EVEN WEAR A CAPE! GET OFF THE CALL BEFORE YOU GIVE ME A MIGRAINE!”

But the other villain just adjusted his glasses with a shaky hand, his face leaning so close to the camera that only his wrinkled green nose filled the screen. “Nice try, Hater. I know when I’m being tricked! Batman’s sneaky, but I’m sneakier! You think you can—” Whatever he was about to say was cut off by the most ear-piercing wheeze yet, a coughing fit so violent it shook his entire screen. His ancient body spasmed as though a ghost were trying to escape him, his hacking loud enough to drown out Awesome’s relentless laughter in the background.

“Somebody get him a glass of water!” Wander exclaimed, clutching his own chest as if he were about to cough in sympathy. “Golly, Mr. Malfeasant, you sound like you swallowed a tumbleweed! You alright?”

Mandrake waved a dismissive hand, his voice rasping like sandpaper on steel. “I’m fine! Fine, I say! Nothing can—cough—nothing can take me down!”

“Kragthar’s flames could,” Awesome quipped, wiping tears from his eyes as he finally dragged himself upright. “Man’s been frozen for half the meeting, and he’s still more intimidating than you, grandpa.”

As if on cue, Kragthar’s screen flickered, momentarily unfreezing to reveal his hulking form glaring upside-down at the camera. The angle made him look like he was mid-roar, his tusks casting wild shadows across his face. Then, just as quickly, the feed froze again, preserving him in all his furious, upside-down glory.

“Oh, Neptune, he’s a masterpiece!” Awesome cackled, slapping his knee. “Hater, you gotta sell tickets to these meetings. I’d pay good money for this kind of comedy.”

“THIS ISN’T COMEDY!” Hater shrieked, his frozen image still stuck in “The Thinker” pose. “I’M SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS!”

Mandrake, oblivious to everything, jabbed a gnarled finger at Kragthar’s frozen screen. “You hear me, Batman? You don’t scare me! Come at me with all you’ve got, you pointy-eared punk!” He let out a hacking laugh, his frail body trembling with misplaced triumph.

The skeleton groaned, dragging his skeletal hands down his face. “Why do I even try? This was supposed to be a simple meeting. A SIMPLE MEETING!”

“And now it’s an absolute hoot!” Wander chirped, grinning ear to ear as he gave you a squeeze. “Ain’t it great, darlin’? All our favorite folks in one place! Even Mr. Kragthar’s lookin’ dapper upside-down like that.”

Kragthar’s perpetually furious expression stared unblinkingly from his frozen feed, his pink flames flickering like angry neon signs. The juxtaposition of his intimidating form and Mandrake’s nonsensical rambling was almost too much.

“Mandrake,” Hater said, his voice eerily calm, like a storm ready to break. “If you don’t leave this meeting in the next five seconds, I will personally—”

But before he could finish, Mandrake’s screen jolted violently, his camera flipping upside-down to match Kragthar’s. The sudden shift sent Mandrake into a frenzy, his glasses sliding down his nose as he scrambled to right himself. “WHAT IN THE VOID IS THIS SORCERY?! HE’S HACKING ME! BATMAN’S HACKING ME!”

Awesome fell out of frame again, his howling laughter echoing like a siren.

You leaned back against Wander, who was practically vibrating with joy. “I gotta admit,” you murmured, your voice dripping with amusement, “this is the most entertaining villain meeting I’ve ever attended.”

Wander nodded vigorously. “Best. Day. EVER!”

Hater’s scream reverberated through the call, his frozen image glaring like a tortured art piece as he yelled, “THIS IS THE WORST MEETING OF MY LIFE!”

And, of course, Mandrake’s upside-down feed cut back in just long enough for him to cough so hard you thought he might seriously keel over before the meeting could end.

Chaos truly reigned supreme.

So then you cleared your throat, straightened up, and tapped the edge of your lollipop against your teeth in mock seriousness. Chaos erupted in every corner of the meeting call: Mandrake wheezing upside-down, Kragthar frozen mid-insult like a bat-themed statue, and Awesome howling so hard in laughter that he was practically a full-time tumbleweed. But you? You were a professional villain, and it was high time someone acted like it.

“Right,” you said, leaning forward and glaring at Hater’s frozen feed with all the gravity you could muster. “About those dibs on Planet Gronko…”

Wander perked up beside you, his grin widening. “Oh, darlin’, this is the good part! Tell ‘em how you’re gonna take it all sneaky-like!” He rested his chin on your shoulder, his expression equal parts mischievous and supportive. “Y’know, right before I foil it!”

You swatted his head lightly, though the affection was evident. “No foiling. We’re conquering today, not playing sabotage.”

“Aw, sugar, I’m just sayin’,” He cooed, his tone dripping with honeyed sweetness. “Wouldn’t it be more fun if we, oh, I dunno, turned Gronko into a picnic planet instead? Blanket under the stars, some pie… maybe a little banjo music…” His eyes twinkled as he looked at you, like he was proposing the most innocent idea in the universe. “We could even invite Hater! He loves food!”

“ABSOLUTELY NOT!” Hater’s voice blasted through the call, though his image remained resolutely frozen. “You’re NOT turning my dibs into some lame picnic planet!”

You ignored him, keeping your tone measured. “As I was saying, Hater, Planet Gronko is officially mine. No question. It’s got everything: untapped resources, strategic placement, and a prime location for dramatic evil monologues.”

“It’s got terrible parking!” The skeleton barked, clearly desperate to regain some control. “And it smells like sulfur!”

“Sulfur smells like victory,” you deadpanned, twirling your lollipop like a villainous scepter. “And as the superior conqueror, I’m claiming it.”

Wander gasped in mock admiration, his hands clasping together dramatically before he started fawning himself with one of them. “Oh, sugar, I love it when you talk all evil! Makes my heart go pitter-patter!”

“Stop encouraging her!” Hater snarled, though his static-laden voice crackled more than thundered. “You’re supposed to be the good guy, remember?!”

“Oh, I’m good all right,” Wander replied with a wink, leaning further into you. “Good at foiling plans, good at spreading cheer, and good at smoochin’ my girl after a successful thwart.” He gave you a quick peck on the cheek, eliciting a furious groan from the skeleton.

Mandrake’s voice wheezed back into the conversation. “Hold on… hold on…” His upside-down feed trembled violently as he fiddled with his camera. “Did someone say smooches? I’ll have you know, back in my day, I was quite the ladies’—COUGH, COUGH—ladies’ man…”

“Mandrake, NO ONE CARES!” Hater roared, his patience fracturing into microscopic pieces. “CAN WE PLEASE FOCUS?!”

You smirked, watching as the oldest villain in the meeting accidentally flipped his feed sideways, now giving the impression that he was reclining on a chaise lounge. “Look, Hater,” you said, feigning sympathy. “I get it. You want to stake a claim. But let’s be honest—my dibs are non-negotiable.”

“You can’t just—!” He started, but a loud clattering noise interrupted him as Awesome’s chair gave out entirely.

“Oh, sorry, Hater!” Awesome chimed in, clearly not sorry in the slightest. “I couldn’t hear you over the sound of your frozen face judging Kragthar like a bad art critic.”

The overlord screeched incoherently, his lagging feed stuttering so badly that his voice sounded like a possessed Speak & Spell. Meanwhile, Wander tilted his head, watching you with the expression of a smug cat. “So, uh, honey bun,” he said, his voice dripping with faux innocence. “Just how you gonna conquer Gronko, huh? Big evil speech? Giant death ray? Ooh, I love the classics!”

“I haven’t decided yet,” you replied smoothly. “But don’t get any ideas about ruining it.”

Your fuzzy boyfriend gasped, clutching his chest dramatically. “Ruin it? Never! Why, I’ll be there right alongside ya! Maybe…” His smile turned impish. “Maybe with a little picnic basket on the side.”

“I hate this meeting,” Hater muttered, his frozen image somehow managing to look more miserable as chaos erupted again.

But then, as if the skeleton's brain started buffering in the middle of the whole situation, still frozen in the same pose of course, his voice broke through the chaos like a badly-tuned holo-radio. “You know what? I’ve had it. I can’t take it anymore!” His green eyes blazed in fury, his tone reaching a level of incredulity that threatened to implode the entire meeting.

“What… WHAT were you even doing with him before the meeting?!”

The room—or rather, the intergalactic hellscape of video feeds—went dead silent for half a second. Even Mandrake paused his upside-down rambling, his gnarled finger hovering mid-point. Awesome gasped audibly, his sharp teeth flashing as his face disappeared from the screen, likely from another fit of laughter. Kragthar, perpetually frozen and upside-down, seemed to silently echo Hater’s confusion with his distorted, roaring grimace.

Wander perked up like a puppy that had just been offered a treat, his wide, innocent grin bright enough to light a black hole. “Oh, you mean before the meeting?” he asked, his tone chipper and completely oblivious to the bomb he was about to drop. “Well, Hatey, you know how it is! Just spendin’ some quality time with my sweetie here, gettin’… acquainted.” He emphasized the word with a waggle of his eyebrows, snuggling closer to you like a cat claiming its territory.

Hater’s jaw unhinged.

“ACQUAINTED?!” His voice cracked, his static-laden screech rattling through the speakers. “What does that even mean?!”

You tried—tried—to suppress the grin tugging at your lips as you twirled the lollipop between your fingers. “Let’s just say, Hater, that Wander and I were… busy.” Your voice was velvety smooth, laced with a subtle mischief that only added fuel to the already raging fire.

“Busy?” The skeleton squawked, his skull practically vibrating from frustration. “What does that mean?! Were you… playing cards? Building a spaceship? WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY BUSY?!”

“Oh, Hatey,” Wander said with a chuckle, resting his head against your shoulder. “It’s like when you cuddle with Captain Tim, but, uh, with a li’l more pizzazz!” His innocent smile and dreamy expression were perfectly at odds with the absolute havoc he was causing.

Hater froze—mentally, this time, not just technologically. “More pizzazz? I DON’T UNDERSTAND!” His hands flailed at the screen, his lightning-bolt horns jiggling wildly. “WHY IS THIS SO CONFUSING?! WHAT IS HAPPENING?!”

Mandrake, still upside-down and utterly unhelpful, cleared his throat, sending a raspy wheeze through the feed. “Ah, the mysteries of youth,” he mused, as if he were waxing poetic. “I remember the days when I had pizzazz. And Star-bella that ol' rascal! Why, we once—”

“MANDRAKE, SHUT UP!” Hater screamed, slamming his fists down with enough force to rattle his console. “THIS ISN’T ABOUT YOU! THIS IS ABOUT THEM!”

“Aw, Hatey, no need to get all worked up!” The nomad said soothingly, his tone completely oblivious to the fact that it was doing the opposite. “I mean, sure, we had some fun, but now we’re here! With you! Ain’t that great?”

“No! No, it’s NOT GREAT!” Hater’s voice hit a decibel level that made you instinctively wince. His frozen face glared daggers at the screen, as if he could physically reach through and strangle Wander. “Why are you like this?! Why is everything like this?! And WHY do you keep… doing… things?!”

Wander tilted his head thoughtfully, as if the answer were the simplest thing in the galaxy. “Because I love her!” he declared, throwing his arms wide and beaming at you like you were the stars themselves.

Hater’s skeletal hands clenched into trembling fists. “THAT’S IT! MEETING OVER!” His voice cracked like a thunderclap as he jabbed wildly at his console. “I CAN’T TAKE IT! I’M ENDING THIS FOR EVERYONE! EVERYONE!”

Before you could respond, the screen flickered. One by one, every feed blinked out: Kragthar, Mandrake, Awesome (who was wheezing uncontrollably in his seat), and finally, Hater himself.

The room was suddenly quiet, save for the faint hum of your spaceship’s engine. Wander blinked, staring at the now-blank screen. “Huh,” he said thoughtfully, scratching his chin.

...

 “Wonder why he didn’t do that earlier?” He arched one eyebrow.

You couldn’t help it. The laughter bubbled out of you, spilling into the room as Wander joined in, his delighted giggles filling the space. “Because,” you managed between laughs, “this is Hater we’re talking about. Chaos is part of his brand.”

He leaned in, planting a noisy kiss on your cheek. “Golly, I sure do love chaos,” he said with a grin. “Almost as much as I love you!”

You rolled your eyes fondly, tossing your lollipop onto the nightstand. “You’re impossible.”

“And you love it,” Wander replied, snuggling against you like a satisfied cat.

And, honestly? He wasn’t wrong.

But the laughter eventually subsided, leaving the room wrapped in a comfortable silence, save for the ambient hum of your ship and the galaxy streaking past your window. Your sweet boyfriend was still nestled against you, his arms looped lazily around your waist, his expression content. His floppy green hat sat proudly on the nightstand next to your discarded lollipop, a quiet testament to the chaos that had unfolded—and the even greater chaos that had preceded it. You ran a hand through his fur, leaning back into the mound of mismatched pillows that took up half the bed. “Well, that was something,” you murmured, a small smirk tugging at the corners of your lips.

“Sure was, sweetie-pie,” He agreed, his voice soft but brimming with delight. He tilted his head up, his eyes glinting with mischief. “But, uh… I was thinkin’...”

“Oh no,” you said immediately, narrowing your eyes. “Every time you ‘think,’ I end up with bruises and hickeys in weird places.”

“That’s part of the fun!” he chirped, sitting up with sudden enthusiasm. His wide grin stretched across his face as he waved his hands excitedly. “Now hear me out, darlin’. I was readin’ this book about star-crane origami, right? And it got me thinkin’ about somethin’ called the ‘Lunar Fold.’ It’s kinda like that thing we tried in the torture room last month, remember?”

Your eyebrows shot up, and you let out a startled laugh. “Oh, you mean the time we accidentally triggered the electric agony rack mid-session and fried half the circuits in the ship?”

“Yup!” Wander said cheerfully, his eyes twinkling. “But don’t you worry, this one’s way safer! I promise there won’t be any accidental zappin’. Probably.”

“‘Probably?’” you repeated, giving him a skeptical look. “That’s not exactly reassuring, Hornball.”

He waved a dismissive hand, scooting closer and resting his chin on your shoulder. “C’mon, darlin’, trust me! I’ve been workin’ out the angles in my head, and I just know the Lunar Fold’s gonna be the bee’s knees. Way better than the ‘Upside-Down Intergalactic Pretzel,’ that’s for sure.”

You stared at him, torn between amusement and exasperation. “You named it that after we nearly dislocated everything.”

“Exactly! Which is why the Lunar Fold’s so much better!” He leaned in closer, his breath warm against your ear. “Less bendy, more… starry. And I’ll be real gentle this time, promise.”

Your lips quirked up in a smirk as you leaned back, meeting his gaze. “You’re lucky I like you.”

“I’m lucky you love me,” he corrected, nuzzling your neck with a grin that was far too sweet for the absolute chaos he always brought to your life. 

With one quick motion, he hopped up onto his knees, his excitement bubbling over. “Alrighty then, sugar! Let’s get to it! The stars won’t see themselves, y’know!”

You couldn’t help but laugh, shaking your head as you let him tug you toward the center of the bed. Chaos, mischief, and possibly questionable physics were inevitable—but with Wander, it was always an adventure worth taking.

Meanwhile, somewhere across the galaxy, Kragthar of Kraaathhh was still frozen. Only this time, it wasn’t his video feed. He stood in his villainous lair, his pink flames flickering weakly as his single, furious thought echoed into the empty silence.

“…Where did everyone go?”

[tehawesomestkitteh]

do kittehs understand earth's cats? could they possibly be translators for our feline friends?

kittehs could, theoretically, communicate and understand earth's cats and translate for our feline friends. much of old kitteh language is similar to how cats communicate: non-verbally and through certain behaviors/cues. and even if they didn't know how to communicate, they're smart enough to learn (and perceive closer to cat level, which makes it easier for them)

now it's "theoretical" because kittehs are barred from being anywhere remotely (even galactically remotely) near earth due to diplomatic agreements with Teh's organization. and any kittehs that try have been sent back to their capital to be criminally charged, often without trial due to the specific terms of the agreement (and cause for potential Mutually Assured Destruction)

[culturesfinest]

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[novankenn]

Plague Doctors

The treaty summit between the Haligan Republic and the Human Confederacy was at a stand still. The Calthians were desperate in restoring order in the galaxy, and the border skirmish between the two minor galactic powers had devolved in to a species wide war of attrition. Both sides throwing accusations against the other for acts of complete barbarism and sadism.

The Haligans, another mammalian race, purportedly evolved from a common ancestor to their home world’s version of primates. They were very human-like, and the two species could only be truly distinguished by the Haligan’s having a fine fur coating over their skin, and slightly elongated ear lobes. Their height pushing 2.5 meters on average.

The human’s had taken to calling them “Elves”, as a derisive term.

The Calthians while also a mammalian species had evolved from the top feline predators of their home world. All three, if you discounted the obvious variations, looked very similar in body structure. Two arms, ending in dexterous fingers. Two legs for bipedal motion. A pair of forward facing eyes, and a need to breath in similar atmospheric conditions.

Currently, the cease fire and peace process was being derailed by the accusations from both sides for acts of barbarism, and war crimes. The Humans accusing the Haligans of wholesale slaughter of civilian populations. The Haligans condemning the Humans for their use of prohibited chemical weapons.

Neither species, much to the Calthian’s frustration, were non-signatories to the “Restricted Arms of War” treatise of the founding members of the Galactic Senate. Though considering that specific piece of legislation was created, voted on, and ratified almost a century before either species achieved FTL. Yet the issues still remained. The Haligans were by far more physically superior species. The average Haligan outclassing the average Human but a substantial margin in speed, agility and strength. Traits they were using to devastating effect during ground operations.

The Humans, were the more ingenious of the two. Creating and enacting rather risky, reckless, and often times desperate plans to halt the Haligan encroachment.

The Calthians knew neither side was innocent. Both were partaking in rather barbaric practices in attempts to force the other side of the war to submit and back off. The Haligans using brutal extermination tactics upon the settlements and outposts they captured. Slaughtering the all humans that fell under their control. It was an attempt at genocide. A blatant attempt.

The Humans had replied in a different, but in a more malicious, insidious and barbaric way. While the main forces and government of the Human Confederacy denounced the actions of several splitter groups, they did little to curb the terroristic actions of such groups. The use of suicide bombers and IEDs of these small groups, sowing a sense of terror in the general populace of the Haligan Republic.

However, the true malicious terror was the group the Humans themselves labeled as the “Plague Doctors” that was the true threat. Commanded by a former Human General by the name of Arthur D’Rivere, they were causing a steady climb in the casualty numbers of the Haligan forces. Their weapons of choices, caustic agents and other insidious chemical weapons.

“Until the Human’s” the Haligan representative snarled and spit, “Put an end to these splitter factions, the Republic will NEVER agree to any cease fire or entertain the terms of a lasting peace!”

“If my esteemed colleague,” the Human delegate responded with a voice dripping with animosity, “Would cease their attempt to drive my species into extinction, along with recall all of their forces that reside with in Confederate territories, we would have the TIME to curtail these rogue factions!”

“SO it is OUR fault that humans are showing themselves as not only pathetic but also a vindictive lesser species?”

“Yes.” the Human delegate replied bluntly.

“Please!” Kaliea, the Calthian mediator, pleaded. “Please!”

A beep on Kaliea’s personal communicator, drew her attention from the stalled proceedings. Her eyes grew wide with absolute horror, and she fought to keep from vomiting the contents of her meager meal all over the table. She didn’t hesitate to transfer the video files to the main projector, for both delegates and their entourages to see.

The screen opened up with security footage showing the sleek, corridors and rooms of an obvious space station. The place was completely silent, and calm. It would have been an almost serene view if it was not for the corpses that littered the floors. They had died in terrible agony. Blood, spittle, half digested meals, bile, and other more grotesque fluids and matter coated the floor and their bodies. 

“As the Hailgan Republic continues,” came a voice that had become easily recognizable by all sides. It was D’Rivere. “To affect wholesale slaughter of military and civilian populations on non-strategic settlements, we have decided to do likewise.”

The images faded to be replaced by the image of a worn and tired looking human male. His buzz cut black hair, peppered with streaks of gray. His beard likewise colored. He pulled on a cigarette before continuing to speak.

“I am under no illusions that both sides of this conflict see me and my faction as vile, unredeemable and monsters of the highest order.” D’Rivere commented, his voice sounding as tired as he looked. “I am the Devil, but make no mistake, while I may regret my actions and accept the final judgement and my probable death for treason and terrorism, I WILL not cease my actions.”

The Haligan representative was about to scream an obscenity laden tirade at the person shown before her, but she held back. Understanding that this was nothing more than a pre-recorded statement.

“We take no pleasure in inflicting so death upon the enemies of the Confederacy, but we also recognize we are a…” D’Rivere took another drag on his rapidly burning down cigarette. “... necessary evil.”

The Human delegate was rapidly typing out a message on his personal communicator, sending a desperate message to his superiors. He was requesting direction on how to proceed in light of this newest atrocity committed by the Plague Doctors.

“To show our unwavering resolve to force a peace, we are currently on route to our next target. A civilian one.” D’Rivere took a final drag on his cigarette before crushing it out, off-screen. “By the time you receive this, our attack will have happened.”

“This is an outrage!” the Haligan representative screamed, pointing a long finger in the direction of the Human across the negotiation table from her. “Your people allow these atrocities to continue unabated. End them! Now!”

“If the Republic ceases their efforts of to enact a Human genocide, and withdraw all their forces from current and former Confederate territory, I will turn myself and my crews into a neutral party to suffer the appropriate judgement and penalty for my actions.” D’Rivere took a moment to ignite another cigarette, before continuing. “Failure to do so will be evidence to myself and my crews to continue our current actions… and escalate.”

D’Rivere exhaled a plume of smoke from his nose, and took another long drag.

“If Humanity is to be driven to the brink or beyond… I will personally make sure we are remembered for causing the mutual destruction of our enemies. Sue for peace, or die alongside us.”

The video ended. The final image, that of the stern, resolute and glaring face of Arthur D’Rivere. Even as worn and tired as he looked, he still exuded an air of resolute, and grim purpose. It was the image of a man who was at peace in the knowledge of his closing, inglorious end.

/==/ Original Works /==/

[leggerefiore]

cw: April Fools drabble

pairing: Cyrus/Reader

Galactic HQ was easier to get into than you would have liked to admit.

Granted, Cyrus probably did not really have the idea of anyone intruding on his mind. You were not really sure what he had on his mind lately, truthfully.

The blue wig on your head sat carefully positioned, as the odd space age uniform was surprisingly light. The inside of the building was not completely unknown to you, but it had been a while since you had visited here. You had not exactly been here in your current situation either. Disguising yourself as a Galactic Grunt had not exactly been on your mind this morning. It had suddenly stricken you in a moment of boredom upon realising the day. You could only wonder how far you would make it around here before getting caught, though.

It was easy to find what tasks were most needed and quickly blend into doing them. Two of the commanders even passed you by without noticing a thing. Though, hearing Mars gushing about your boyfriend was admittedly not a preferred thing. You sighed as you helped move some boxes around for scientists. Just what was all this? You thought Galactic was a power company. Cyrus probably had other projects at work, but everything seemed oddly… biological. The green fluid within a tube sent your imagination into a spiral.

A single step snapped your attention from it. Cyrus had entered the hall. His gaze was on you for but a moment, as he turned his attention to scientists speaking in hushed voices further away. He certainly carried a different air here than what you were used to seeing. Your disguise must have been a lot better than you thought, seeing as he did not even hold a lingering suspicious glance at you. His stride was careful while clearing the hall, yet he stopped to spare you another glance.

“Leave,” his voice was harsh and cold. It felt completely than what you normally heard. For a moment, you wondered if he had figured you out and was upset. “Your task here is done. See your commander for a new one,” he continued. You felt odd as you turned to him. Something gave you both a pause as your eyes met his. He blinked. You gave a wordless nod to begin to leave this area. Cyrus seemed wholly unsatisfied by your conduct, however. “I would prefer a vocal confirmation,” he sighed, “… What is your name?”

You froze. Speaking would entirely blow your cover. Sure, it was just to mess around, but something inside of you wanted to take it seriously. If you fled, his suspicions would only be heightened. Standing motionless, you could only wonder what reply might work. Cyrus grew ever more impatient. “You are only worsening this for yourself,” he offered. “Who is your direct commander, at least, then.”

You bit your lip. Was he not in any rush? This was more intense than it truly should be. You shared a bed with this man. He did not usually intimidate you. A few seconds of silence passed. Just as he was about to speak again, a pokemon's cry echoed out in the hall, startling you both. From the side Cyrus had come from, a familiar black and red pokemon came running forward. Weavile let out a happy trill upon seeing its trainer. Its head bunted his leg as a loud purr came from it. Cyrus seemed to have a break in his disposition for a moment. You fought back a laugh. Did he not pet the poor feline at work? No wonder they always demanded your whole attention.

Weavile's red eyes landed on you as a cry came from it again. It tilted its head. You felt your heart jump. Shit. Your cover really would be blown. Cyrus was even intrigued by its reaction. Weavile moved on from its trainer to bunting your leg and purring. A sigh left you. Reaching a hand down to pet the pokemon, contented mrr's left it. The Galactic Boss took a step back, clearly startled.

“What are you doing here?” his voice took on a familiar cadence. It appeared you had been finally figured out. “… Why are you wearing that?”

You picked up Weavile and shrugged. “April Fools. I wanted to see how long I could stay here faking being a grunt until I got figured out,” was your explanation.

Cyrus was even more mortified than before.

You were promptly told to stop and go home.

[lowrezbonuslevel]

I’m late but if it’s not too late for the Kirby oc ask game, 💫💌🍒🍅🐛 for either/both your ocs?

Yeah!

Q: "💫 (Shooting Star) - If they were to wish on a clockwork star, like Galactic Nova or Star Dream, what would they wish for?"

A: If we're talking current day, after they've met and become friends, I honestly think they might just give their wish to each other. Neither is the type to rely on magic or Ancient shenanigans to reach their goals, for better or worse; but they do want what's best for each other.

If we're talking about before the two met: for Zed, it's a secret because I haven't figured out some story details. For Tillda, it's probably predictable enough. I made a little comic (it continues under the cut):

Q: "💌 (Love Letter) - How easy are they to befriend? Are they more of a social butterfly or a lone wolf?"

A: Tillda is not that difficult to befriend, but she might keep you at a healthy(?) distance. She was always somewhat introverted, but after losing contact with Taranza, she is more reclusive (spider pun!) than ever. Zed is her closest friend, but she is also respected and generally well-liked at her workplace.

Zed is even less social than Tillda. It isn't because they don't like other people; they just don't actively seek friendship. For instance, Zed almost certainly wouldn't be friends with Tillda if she hadn't bumped into them during one of their work shifts. (Speaking of which, they do inadvertently creep some of their coworkers out, but either Zed doesn't notice or doesn't mind.)

Q: "🍒 (Cherry) - Out of all of the Dream Friends [Kirby included], which ones would they get along with the most? The least?"

A: ...This one is gonna be somewhat long. I'll reblog with the answer to this one later.

Q: "🍅 (Tomato) - If Kirby absorbed them or their attacks, what Copy Ability [or Abilities] would he get? Alternatively, if they themselves are capable of using the Copy Ability, do they have a favourite?"

A: Tillda---hold your suspense---would give the Spider Copy Ability. (Maybe Kirby could wear her muffler. Or a wig. That would be cute.)

I could see Zed giving the Whip ability because of their tail. (This is much like how Gooey is represented by Whip Shadow Kirby in Fighters 2 because the former uses his tongue as a lasso of sorts). Though maybe you could argue that Zed, being a feline like Tac and wielding a mechanical visor, should give the Copy Copy Ability. (Zed's own visor has several functions, but scanning Copy Abilities is not one of them.)

Q: "🐛 (Caterpillar) - What are your OC’s greatest fears, and why? How do they act or react when they’re afraid?"

A: Tillda and Zed obviously have some deeper-rooted fears, but those will naturally be explored later in comics (whenever I get the chance), so we'll go with their greatest phobias:

Zed: Musophobia. Zed is terrified of rats and mice. Rodents are messy, they chew through wires and equipment, and they're a sign of a disorganized workspace. (And I love the cat-afraid-of-mouse trope.)

Tillda: Claustrophobia. She doesn't like small, tight rooms or crowded cities; maybe it's because she's lived in nice green countrysides all her life. Floralia is obviously a plant-filled paradise, but the planet she lives on now also has some verdant stretches. The modest home she inherited from her parents is in one of the planet's greenest cities (more of a village, really).

As for how they react to scary situations: you know "fight, flight, or freeze"? Well, Tillda fights, and Zed freezes.

Thanks for the submission!

[kimerawrt]

Dannymay 2024, now with kitty paws!

Prompts from my AU, also in AO3

Day 6: Immortal AU

Danny was excited. It has been years, hundreds of years actually, and his chance had finally come. He was going to space!

“Ha ha! Dude, you are vibrating so hard!” Tucker laughed. After so much time, his friend was now a pharaoh technological ghost made of sand and wires. His friend was the one that designed the first ships that could travel faster than light.

“Merrow, nya!” Danny nodded. He looked like a statue made of white marble so pure that there were no imperfections on it. The only color on this form was the glowing green eyes. If Danny were to stand still, he would look like an adorable cat sculpture. An adorable sculpture taller than a normal human.

“He is a cat. Of course he vibrates” Sam smirked. Her ghost looked like a dark nymph. Beautiful and dangerous.

“It's our first time going to a place beyond our solar system. It’s a very exciting time” Jazz was as excited as her brother. She looked like a normal ghost, with pale green skin and blue flowing hair.

“Well duh! We are going to a meeting with a lot of aliens! I want to know their cultures and foods! Especially the foods” Dani was floating around in joy.

Unlike Danny, Dani could talk in her cat form, and, instead of looking like any random feline every time she transformed, Dani always looked like an adorable cat with the only changes being her color. The colors of the sky were always seen in her fur, and when it was the turn of the night sky, there were a lot of different constellations on her.

Although his friends and sister being ghosts and him and Dani being immortal was a big change, it was not the biggest one.

“Oh great one, your ship is ready for you” a man said as soon as he was close enough.

“Meow” Danny nodded.

“Excellent!” the man seemed ecstatic that Danny responded and left to continue with his duties as the archbishop of the greatest religion on Earth, the ‘Devotion of the Great Savior Phantom’.

As soon as the man was away his friends burst into laughter.

“Ha ha ha! I can believe it is still going” Tucker found this hilarious.

“It seems that Frostbite was very convincing when he spread the word of the Great One” Sam chuckled.

“He is considered the pope even if he is not a religious leader” Jazz commented.

“Let's pretend Danny is not a god and enjoy the space journey” Dani suggested.

“Mreow!” Danny nodded. He had tried to erase the religion that sprouted out of that prank they made, but it seemed that people liked thinking of him as a god. The fact that Danny had not stopped to help people in danger in the last centuries was enough to convince many.

“You are right. Let’s think about the new technology we can obtain” Tucker grinned.

“And the plants that grow on other planets” Sam smirked.

While the friends talked between themselves, they didn't notice the alien diplomat staring at Danny in awe. This was the first time the god of a world would go to the Interplanetary Conference. The integration of humans to the galactic community was going to be interesting.