#feels like way less
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📢‼️❗️!!!IMPORTANT!!!❗️‼️📢
🎊🎉🥳 CELEBRATORY OVER ONE YEAR OF THIS GUY ART 🥳🎉🎊
Ft. an additional borderless version bc i couldn't decide what i liked better <3
#bg3 durge oc#bg3 oc#Astarion#Vaine#Nebbles Art#can you fucking believe I've had this idiot for over a year??#feels like way less#this is also technically late since his creation/birthday day was back in October#but I'm slow so deal <3
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Me when I remember something I said ages ago that was wrong or my values no longer align with
#my path of self improvement has been less self righteous and personally gainful#and more just. a lot of embarrassment and pain#like i wouldnt change the path i took to get where i am now but i wouldve chosen to travel that path sooner because omg#nothing hits me like the fear that future me will feel the same way about right now me that right now me feels about past tense me
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always good to keep a screamhole handy
#danny phantom#danny fenton#college au#ember mclain#this one was a struggle to finish tbh#but the thinking around it is how ghosts handle stress#like#hmm#bc of the way they operate ghosts don’t have human emotional regulation#there is no shoving feelings down#they gotta go OUT#ghost fights and having fun in the ghost zone is usually enough#but in times of big stress sometimes he’s just gotta scream/wail it out#easier to just destress the ghost way yanno#less work#quicker recovery#also in this#displays of power aren’t inherently aggressive but they do affect how much respect you get#he’s just screaming into a mostly uninhabited void#but he’s the ghost king and he wasn’t really thinking#so just like#ghost nukes tf out of this little area#no harm no foul tho
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"We Myrmidons are not the sentimental type."
#referenced patroclus' armor from the 3d model since the subtle differences between the two felt like a nice visual touch#anyway hi hello the brainworms grabbed me momentarily after playing the game for a week straight more or less#really adored the way they were written here or how the game in general dealt with relationships and feelings#own art#fanart#hades supergiant#hades game#hades achilles#hades patroclus#achilles#patroclus#patrochilles#digital art#illustration
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an angle i enjoy in cosmic/eldritch horror is when, instead resorting to the old classic "the horrors being so incomprehensible that they break your brain and drive you mad" cliché, the premise is that in comprehending the horrors you are so changed by the experience that your new state is indistinguishable to an outside observer from madness. you comprehend the unknowable just fine, but actually communicating that to anyone else is impossible because they just don't have the mental framework required to understand it. the eldritch horrors don't drive you mad. what does is the ordinary everyday horror of finding yourself isolated, ridiculed and doubted at every turn, no matter how hard you try to make yourself heard and understood.
#🐉#this is why i liked the way tma did it#where the eldritch is more or less a direct allegory for trauma (among other things)#and how those experiences can make the entire world seem like a different place and make you feel crazy#when other people dont understand what seems so clear and obvious to you#apartment 'complex'? actually i find it quite simple. no guys really its so simple you gotta believe me. why dont you believe me.
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Genuinely, and I mean this kindly, but learning to recognize bait and not engaging with it will change your fandom experience.
#once you realize : oh theyre just trying to rile me up and i dont care to give them a response#everything is less stressful#i keep seeing the same arguments rehashed every six or so months#i know a lot of people are new and dont know but the trolls youre arguing with do#theyre trying to burn yall out and send you packing#also i do think there is something very funny about someone spending all that time color coding a bait post#and no one engages with it like wow you tried#i understand the passion people feel AND at some point you gotta let it go#anyway i do feel like the best way to sustain longevity is to just block the tags/people who enrage you
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i see this jason todd who actually looks his very young age (instead of the 30yr old man that comics like to portray)
and feel my heart breaking just imagining bruce beating him up, almost killing him, mind-breaking him, and just overall being a total piece of shit father towards him.
a huge chunk of the reason why people don't view bruce's actions towards jason as abusive or wrong is because jason doesn't look his age. he's drawn to be this 35yr old father of three who looks even older than dick (and way too on par with bruce) that people see their fights as one between batman and any of his regular rogues. when they fight, it just looks like batman is fighting a man his age and not an actual young person. it doesn't look like batman is fighting his son who's barely even drinking age (and who def wasn't drinking age in utrh). their fights are portrayed in a way that eliminates the very real power struggle between them.
this applies to jason's entire character as well. a lot of people don't sympathize with how he died or his actions as robin or his fights with the other bats because he doesn't look his age. he always looks older and scarier than everyone else. tim has many sympathizers from the titans tower incident because jason just looked like a grown man fighting a 12yr old (even tho i disagree, tim was built and like 17 lmfao).
anyways, i just wish comics would actually draw jason to look his age, which literally ranges from 19 to early twenties. he's young- so young, and it's so annoying to see him drawn and written as someone older than even bruce.
#the way everyone in jason's robin run saw him as this adult despite him being 12-15#like what the fuck#just because a child has experienced more than the average adult doesn't make him any less of a child#it's like the typical groomer thought process#if jason was shown younger in arkham knigjt for example there'd be less people calling him whiny#they showed 15yr old jason's torture scenes like he was a 25 yr old#he should've been shown as the small child he was#it would've put more perspective into how cruel and fucked it was of the rogues to torture a literal child#and then bruce almost killing him in rhato...#now imagine if jason looked his age there#honestly this all just feeds into the idea that jason feels too small for his big body#imagine being this tiny kid growing up and then dying and coming back to life as this tank#arghhhhh!!!!!#jason todd#red hood#batman#jason peter todd#bruce wayne#jason todd deserves better
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in the bathroom at the gay clubbbb
#a less edited version added for plausible deniability that its not a mirror selfie#bc i know astarion shouldnt be visible in the mirror. but the vision was too strong#anyways on the dancefloor shadowheart is doing those goth girl dances from tiktok#and astarion is doing the fork in the garbage disposal#they dont get any btw bc they get too drunk on tequila and end up throwing up outside and#astarion has to call wyll to pick them up. he does of course#at the same time laezel and karlach are getting into a bar brawl someplace else#and gale is going snork mimimi at home:)#i really like how the shading came out here. adding highlights really helps with 3d shapes#and the way ive shaded shadowhearts torso had me feeling like pygmalion ngl#bg3#baldurs gate#baldurs gate 3#shadowheart#astarion#astarion ancunin#bg3 modern au#i NEED to draw shad in more outfits
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A NON-EXHAUSTIVE BUT NEVERTHELESS EXHAUSTING LIST OF NEO-NAZI AND WHITE SUPREMACIST DOGWHISTLES
since some of y'all apparently need a refresher course. as always, use your judement when deciding if it's a dogwhistle or just innocent usage of a number or symbol
NUMBERS
100% - 100 percent white
109 or 110 - A reference to the 109 countries that have expelled, in whole or in part, their Jewish populations. 110 refers to the hope that more countries will do so, usually specifically the United States. Often posted on its own as a reply, or phrased as a question (e.g. "If you were kicked out of 109 bars it's probably our fault")
1290 - A reference to the Edict of Expulsion of 1290, which expelled the Jewish population of England
13/50 or 13/52 or 13/90 - The supposed statistic that Black Americans make up 13% of the population yet commit 50% or 52% of violent crime, or 90% of interracial violence. Often posted on its own as a reply
14 - The Fourteen Words, a Neo-Nazi slogan
14/23 - A number representing the Southern Brotherhood, an Alabama prison gang
1488 - A combination of the Fourteen Words and Heil Hitler
C18 - Combat 18, a British neo-Nazi group
18 - The letters A (1) and H (8), standing for Adolf Hitler
21-2-12 - The Letters U (21), B (2), and 12 (L), standing for Union, Brotherhood, and Loyalty, the slogan of the Unforgiven, a Florida prison gang
23 - Often thrown up as a hand sign, with two fingers raised on one hand and three fingers raised on the other. Represents the letter W (23), standing for white
271,000 - A reference to the supposed fact that the Red Cross claimed only 271,000 people had been murdered in concentration camps. In reality, that number reported by the Red Cross only came from reports from 13 concentration camps (there were 23 main camps, plus a large number of smaller "satellite" camps)
88 - H (8) H (8), standing for Heil Hitler
9% - A number representing the percentage of the world's population that is white
SYMBOLS
((( ))) - Triple parentheses, or echo. Used by neo-Nazis to call out someone as Jewish
Iron Cross - A German military decoration
Sonnenrad (Sun Wheel)
Reichsadler (Imperial Eagle) - A blocky, art-deco eagle facing to the side. Variants exist, some facing right, some facing left. The Parteiadler (Party Eagle) has a slightly different design. The Reichsadler is usually clutching a wreath with a swastika, although this is sometimes left out to maintain plausible deniability
Totenkopf (Death's Head) - A symbol used by the SS
Wolfsangel (Wolf's Hook) - Used as the insignia of various Wermacht (Nazi Military) divisions
Wolfsangel (horizontal)
Odal Rune - From the Proto-Germanic "Othala" meaning heritage
Algiz Rune - A symbol used by German nationalists
Celtic Cross
"Broken Sun" Cross
Arrow Cross - A Hungarian nationalist party that was active from 1935-1945. The symbol has been re-appropriated by modern neo-Nazis
Valknot
EMOJI
🤑 Greedy Face Emoji - Used to refer to "greedy Jews"
💰 Money Bag Emoji - Used to refer to "greedy Jews"
🥸 Disguised Emoji - Used to refer to Jews because of the enlarged nose
🤥 Lying Emoji - Used to refer to Jews because of the enlarged nose
👃 Nose Emoji - Used to refer to Jews
🙋♂️ Raising Hand Emoji - Used for its resemblance to the Sieg Heil salute
✋ Raised Hand Emoji - Used for its resemblance to the Sieg Heil salute
o/ or 0/ - Used for its resemblance to the Sieg Heil salute
🐸 Frog Emoji - A reference to Pepe the Frog, a webcomic charcter co-opted by the alt-right
👌 Okay Symbol Emoji - A hand symbol co-opted by the alt-right. Sometimes said to resemble the letters WP, or White Power
🚪 Door Emoji - Refers to the fact that some of the gas chambers (such as the ones at Auschwitz) had wooden doors, and therefore could not have been airtight enough to contain the Zyklon B gas used to murder prisoners. In reality, many of the wooden doors were either replaced with airtight metal ones, or were made airtight with strips of felt that then deteriorated or were removed
🚿 Showerhead Emoji - Refers to the showerheads used to dispense Zyklon B gas in the gas chambers
⛽ Gas Pump Emoji - Refers to gas chambers
⚡⚡ Double Lightning Emojis - Used for their resemblance to the Siegrune (victory rune) badge worn by members of the SS (Schutzstaffel)
💀 Skull Emoji - Used for its resemblance to the Totenkopf (Death's Head) used by the SS
☠️ Skull and Crossbones Emoji - Used for its resemblance to the Totenkopf (Death's Head) used by the SS
WORDS/PHRASES
6MWE - Six Million Wasn't Enough. A call for further genocide against Jews
AKIA - A Klansman I Am
Annudah Shoah - A mockery of both the Shoah (Holocaust) and the fear of further genocide
Auschwitz had a swimming pool/rec center/maternity ward/etc. - An attempt to diminish the horror of concentration camps by making them seem more like labor camps with amenities
Blood and Honor - A neo-Nazi slogan
Blood and Soil - A neo-Nazi slogan
Blood Libel - Not a phrase used by the far right, but something they often believe in or claim. Blood libel is an antisemitic conspiracy theory stretching back hundreds of years. The original claim was that Jews used the blood of Christian babies to bake matzah (a ritual food eaten on Passover). It has since evolved into images of Jews drinking blood, kidnapping and killing non-Jewish babies, and conspiracy theories about harvesting adrenochrome
Bowlcut - A reference to white supremacist mass-murderer Dylan Roof
Cohencidence - A portmanteau of Cohen (a common Jewish last name) and coincidence. Used to refer to Jewish control (e.g. "All these companies are owned by Jews! What a Cohencidence!")
COORS - "Comerades of Our Racial Struggle"
Cultural Marxism - A conspiracy theory that Jews are intentionally weakening "Western values" in order to make countries like the United States more susceptible to communism. This was called Cultural Bolshevism in Nazi Germany
Da Shoah or Muh Shoah or Muh Holocaust - A mockery of the Holocaust
Day of the Rope - A day referenced in neo-Nazi book The Turner Diaries when all race traitors will be hanged
Degenerate - An insult based on the false theory that bad morals will cause human beings to regress along the path of evolution (to de-evolve). Used to describe groups, individuals, or ideologies
Early Life - A reference to the "Early Life" section of Wikipedia biographies, which will reveal that a person is Jewish or has Jewish ancestry
Every Single Time - Every time something bad happens, the perpetrator is Jewish
Featherwood - A term derived from racist prison subculture. A featherwood is a woman associated with a racist gang
FGRN - For God, Race, and Nation. A Ku Klux Klan slogan
The Fourteen Words - A neo-Nazi slogan. "We must secure the existance of our people and a future for white children"
The Frankfurt School - A school of sociology founded at Goethe University Frankfurt in 1923. Usually blamed as the originator of "Cultural Marxism"
Fren - Internet slang. A diminutive of "friend", used to diminish Naziism and make it seems more harmless. Often used in usernames to describe one's self (e.g. sad_fren_88)
Globalist - A person who desires connection between countries in terms of politics, trade, and travel. Used to scaremonger about Jews destroying countries by removing their borders
Gorillion - A mockery of the number 6 million, being the amount of Jews who were murdered in the Holocaust
Goy - Hebrew for "nation", used by Jews to refer to non-Jews/gentiles. Used disparagingly by neo-Nazis to suggest Jews view non-Jews as beneath them
Goyslop - Unhealthy food that Jews force non-Jews to eat to keep them weak
Groid - A shortening of "Negroid", an archaic terms used to describe Black people
Groyper - A follower of avowed neo-Nazi Nick Fuentes. A reference to the "Groyper" meme, a variant of Pepe the Frog
GSHW - Germany Should Have Won (i.e. won World War II)
GTKRWN - Gas the Kikes; Race War Now
HDKH - Hitler Didn't Kill Himself. A neo-Nazi theory that Hitler escaped Germany and fled to Argentina
John 8:44 - "You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father's desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies." Part of Jesus' rebuke of his Jewish followers
Joo or Jooz - An intentional misspelling of "Jews" in an attempt to bypass censors or automatic content filters
Kate Hikes - A spoonerism of "hate kikes"
Kek - 4chan variation of "lol"
Kekistan - A fictional country imagined by white nationalists with a flag that resembles the Nazi battle flag
Khazar - A reference to the conversion of a group of Khazars (a Turkic people) to Judaism. Antisemites speculate that the entirity of Ashkenazi Jews are descended from these Khazar converts, and therefore have no historical, cultural, or genetic tie to the Levant. This has been proven false on multiple occasions
Kike - A racial slur against Jews
Lizard People or Reptilians - A conspiracy theory by far-right figure David Icke, claiming that world leaders are really reptilian aliens. Most people who believe this theory believe that the lizard people in question are the Jews
Magic Soil - A protest against the idea that people of one nationality can become people of another nationality simply by living in a country (i.e. "France doesn't have magic soil that turns Africans into Frenchmen")
Nicker - An intentional misspelling of the N word in an attempt to bypass censors or automatic content filters
Ns - Black people (as in the plural of the letter N)
NSDAP - Nationalsozialistiche Deutsche Arbeiterpartei. The Nazi party, but using an acronym that is unfamiliar to most people
NS - National Socialist
Noticer - Someone who "notices" that Jews control the world
The Noticing - A mass movement of people "noticing" that Jews control the world
New World Order - A far-right conspiracy theory about Jews taking control over the world and implementing a single world government. Also used in conjunction with phrases like "world banks"
OFOF - One Front, One Family. Slogan of the neo-Nazi group Volksfront
ORION - Our Race Is Our Nation
Oy Vey - A Yiddish exclamation meaning "oh woe". Used by neo-Nazis to mock Jews
Pattern Recognizer - Someone who has recognized the "pattern" of Jews always being in control
Peckerwood - A term derived from racist prison subculture. A peckerwood is a man associated with a racist gang
Power Level - A memeification of far-right beliefs. The more fascist your beliefs, the higher your "power level"
The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion - A 20th century Russian hoax claiming to be the minutes of meetings between Jewish leaders discussing how they will take control of the world
Pure Blood - Someone who is a pure member of the white race
Rabbi Smolett - A claim that Jews fabricate antisemitic hate crimes (a reference to actor Jussie Smolett who was accused of doing the same)
ROA - Race Over All
The Goyim Know - A phrase used by white supremacists acting like Jews who have discovered white supremacist activity, and are afraid that they've been found out. Often "The Goyim Know, Shut It Down", which adds the idea that Jews will prohibit any conversation that gets too close to the truth
The Red Cross - A reference to the supposed fact that the Red Cross claimed only 271,000 people had been murdered in concentration camps. In reality, that number reported by the Red Cross only came from reports from 13 concentration camps (there were 23 main camps, plus a large number of smaller "satellite" camps)
Tiny Hats or Tiny Hatted People - A reference to the Kippah or Yarmulke often worn by Jewish men
Reject Modernity, Embrace Tradition - A fascist slogan warning against social progress and calling for a return to a prelapsarian (usually ethnocentric) paradise
Rubbing Hands - A reference to an antisemitic charicature called "The Happy Merchant"
"To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you're not allowed to criticize" - A quote often misattributed to Voltaire, which neo-Nazis use to decry claims of antisemitism as efforts to silence them. In fact, it's a quote from a neo-Nazi pedophile
Shabbos Goy - A non-Jewish neighbor of a Jew who can be asked to perform acts Jews are forbidden from doing on the Sabbath (e.g. turning of a light or turning on the heat). Used by neo-Nazis to claim someone is a slave to Jews
Sheeeiiit - An over-the-top representation of how "shit" is said with a Blaccent. Often used in memes declaring Black people to be less intelligent
Shekels - Jewish currency (from the Hebrew word for weight, similar to how British currency is called the pound. In reality, the plural of shekel is shkalim). The name has been adopted by the State of Israel for the NIS (New Israeli Shekel). "Shekels" is used by neo-Nazis to mock Jews as being greedy
Synagogue of Satan - An antisemitic term for Jews, stemming from the Chrsitian Bible
They or Them - When used to describe a nebulous group of undefined adversaries, these words almost always refer to Jews
They Cry Out in Pain As They Strike You - An antisemitic proverb claiming that Jews will make false cries of antisemitism while at the same time perpetrating atrocities
Troon - A slur against trans people, particularly trans women
Volk - German for "folk", or "kind". Used by neo-Nazis to refer to white people
We Wuz Kangz - A racist phrase ment to mock Black nationalists
White Genocide - The myth that a group of people (usually Jews) are conspiring to eliminate the white race through various means including immigration, intermarriage, and homosexuality
WP - White Power
WN - White Nationalist or White Nationalism
Wooden Doors - Refers to the fact that some of the gas chambers (such as the ones at Auschwitz) had wooden doors, and therefore could not have been airtight enough to contain the Zyklon B gas used to murder prisoners. In reality, many of the wooden doors were either replaced with airtight metal ones, or were made airtight with strips of felt that then deteriorated or were removed
Zio - An abbreviation of "Zionist". Used derogatorialy by neo-Nazis
WPRWS - 'Weimar Problems Require Weimar Solutions" (sometimes shortened to just "Weimar Problems" or "Weimar Solutions"). Prior to the rise of the Nazi Party, the democratic Weimar Republic was in financial crisis (the eponymous "Weimar Problem"). This was often blamed on the Jews. The "Weimar Solution" is Naziism
ZOG - Zionist Occupied Government, reflecting the belief that the United States government is controlled by Jews
#atlas entry#this took me several hours to compile so please give it a reblog#there are also a lot of ways nazis will mock Black or Jewish names but that's less dogwhistle-y and more foghorn-y#if you see someone say “lol 'Stein' 👃” and don't understand what they mean. I dunno that's on you man#also sorry for putting kike on here but you'd be shocked how many people I've met who have genuinely never heard it before#also the ADL website has a bunch more representing various prison gangs#but I feel like it can be overwhelming to know that 11 12 and 13 can all be racist symbols. I don't wanna make people jump at shadows#besides those are more likely to be worn as tattoos than displayed in someone's twitter bio#jews#jewish#judaism#nazis#neo nazis#neo-nazis#christofascism#far right#alt-right#white supremacy#white nationalism
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earlier this year I started writing a comic about the siege perilous-grail quest situation after finally finishing the didot perceval, and it started circling around kay and perceval. kay as gatekeeper, taboo anxiety vs chivalry, and perceval not doing things "correctly," arthur's enduring affection for kay. that general area. also the horror of the grail quest itself.
this is comic is part of that narrative arc, so with THAT in mind: this is an abridged scene of a longer arc revolving around kay associating camelot with a cage, perceval's associations with jewelry and knighthood and the color red, and arthur's relationship with kay.
[some other scene context: perceval has injured his hand and can't participate in the tournaments, so he's craving some kind of fight. kay is disinterested in replying to this challenge, but he's not above reminding perceval of their first meeting. it's just mean enough in a weird-intimate kind of way that perceval's like, ok so we're doing the antagonistic version of court romance rituals. he picks up hunting because kay can't leave the castle.]
on the subtext of jewelry:
Clothes Make the Man: Parzival Dressed and Undressed, M.D. Amey
on the topic of kay, gatekeeping, and taboo anxiety:
Cei and the Arthurian Legend, Linda Gowans
the whole Red Knight/Perceval Shows Up In A Dead Man's Suit Of Armor transgression-situation (which kay references through red jewelry) mentioned is told in both de Troye's and Wolfram's Perceval narratives :)
anyway! to close out all this out: the transgressions. incredible! what is camelot but a bunch of transgressions stacked on top of each other tbh.
#i wanted to do some kind of siege perilous-grail quest horror comic after watching bresson's lancelot and i think#after several years. i figured out what kind of story i want it to be#like it no longer feels abstract i can see the story core and now i have to hack away at the clay to see if i can make a figure out of it#HEUGH. okay. i'm gonna wrap this up here. ive been Very Under The Weather lately in some kind of way#trying to get back in the swing of things. but augh. eugh. they need to invent a kind of body that doesnt fall to pieces#the minute it gets slightly less sun than usual like vitamin supplements only go so far. awful flesh prison experience#komiks tag#long post#knights knights knights!
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In the world of heavy metals, love is denser than hate!
#Poorly drawn SVSSS#SVSSS#luo bingge#luo binghe#ask#Is that right? Two different character tags? I think that is right.#I'm calling myself out with screenshotting the asks with the dates because my full ask box has become a problem I'm determined to solve.#I promise you that if I did not respond to your ask it was because I 1) *really* wanted to hold on to it to make a doodle reply#or 2) really was so touched by the message and got overwhelmed#So expect many year + old asks suddenly gaining a reappearance! I'm going to get to them ALL.#Back to Luo Binghe (both versions). You see...the substance he is made with has a chemical reaction to affection.#Like how a pokemon has multiple paths to evolution depending on it's friendship points or exposure to random stones#so to does he evolve into various forms. I feel like Bingge (Ht) would be a noble gas. Unable to form bonds#I could also see him as a Halogen-type of element! Highly reactive and only truly found in manufactured environments.#And Binghe (Lv) would be an alkaline earth metal (+2). Sturdy. Forms bond better but not freely giving them away.#this is the second time I've related characters to elements - and I am far less familar with Scum Villian so please feel free to chime in.#I could be way off base here and I am very down for someone to talk chemistry and character themes.#Thank you all for the love you have given my silly little LBH. It means a lot to me B*)#Don't...don't look too hard at the lack of mark on his forehead here. I gave up. It's just...hidden behind his bangs.
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I think depictions of Anya being cruel to Curly or drawing out his suffering are artful and chilling but completely miss the point of the story and her character.
I'm not saying she doesn't deserve to have that "I told you so" moment with him but not in something callous or cold. Even if that is how it happened, she'd immediately feel guilty cause at that point she's not tormenting her tormenter or even the person truly at fault. She's doing something cathartic, similar to how Jimmy likely hits Curly to release rage he can't against the rest of the crew. She'd see herself as no different when she'd come back from the moment and see Curly cowering at her. She wants someone to take responsibility but how does being cruel to the defenseless help? Why would she want the power Jimmy has over her over Curly?
The idea of her extending someone else's pain is just so against the struggles she already faces and how she can't even bring herself to cause someone pain even to help them. Her very desire is to release herself from her own suffering and I doubt she'd even fine some sort of guilty release in being cruel to another.
#anya is not a character i see taking agency or indulging in cathartic behaviors#not knowingly like i see her as a character trapped in her head and maybe in the scenario she's cruel to Curly she is envisioning Jimmy#in his place but its not a story about justice or those deserving of punishment and those not like its the opposite of people projecting#their issues on the wrong people and saying things to the wrong people and doing things they shouldn't but anya uniquely falls out of it as#she is subjected to a lot of it but it is also not something she wants to subject another person to like you are doing what Jimmy does and#placing ur rage into another persons and viewing their actions through your eyes like she'd more likely yell at him than do harm or#cause him more pain like at least make it in character#but also she clearly doesn't want to see jimmy or curly in the same light and doesnt because she still repeatedly goes to Curly for comfort#and protection and god there's like concepts that need to be applied to characters individually and then the story as a whole#we can not view the game through only one themed lens less we forget to inspect the compounding factor of Anya is so much more than girl#that needs to be allowed to go off but a woman that simply wants right to be done by her and no more harm like she doesn't want to be aroun#the suffering like idk but some of yall would just benefit from like understanding that people are inherently grey with the capabilities of#black n white thinking or actions#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anya mouthwashing#i like her the most but then again i am defensive of all women in media and hate when people change the way the character would take agency#for themselves like yes I want her to tweak out but she just wouldn't and I like seeing realistic depictions of a woman suffering the way#she is like shes not the type at the end of the movie to have a one liner but feel a shallow freedom cause she needs to realistically heal#idk but its just like there is an obbsession forming with making her character her pain and not how she handles and navigates the issue
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krunk
#my art#doodles#homestuck#kankri vantas#need to perform a resurrection ritual so that i can kill him with my bare hands#homestuck fanart#tiny sona doodle in the corner. because i feel Ways about him#slower art posts recently because im lowkey BUSY and kind of STRESSED the freak out. so lots of brain/heart doodles#and less conceptual pieces. sniff sniff. i like doing those ive just been scraped dry of weirdo inspiration i guess#i think its a new fandom awkwardness kind of thing tbh. like not wanting to use anything at a new friends house or some shit like that#stfu chris
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Kid Leo Au: Reunion
Part 16!!!
To everyone that guessed Leo was gonna feel guilty about smthn that hasn't even happened yet, here's a heart <3 good job! He is predictable this time around :)
Yeah I do think Leo would feel guilty both about it happening in the past and the idea that Raph WOULD DO IT AGAIN IF HE THOUGHT IT WOULD WORK!!
Anyway,
NEXT TIME ON KID LEO...UH OH!!!
Side note I am gona try and start adding prev links, but only to upcoming updates cause the amount of time it would take to go back and do it to the entirety of Kid Leo is just wayyy too much and I have a day job :) But I will try them from now on, since they've been requested! If I end up thinking it's too much trouble in the future I may stop, but we'll just see how it affects the posting process.
Kid Leo Au Masterpost | First | Prev | Next
#rottmnt#art#fanart#digital art#rottmnt fanart#rottmnt leo#comic#rottmnt fanfic#rottmnt comic#rottmnt art#kid leo au#rottmnt kid leo au#I dont like the way the prev link addition LOOKS but that's not really enough reason not to do it#but if it does end up becoming more of a hassle in the future I will stop doing it#the way that I schedule posts might affect it#esp since I already have to rush to add the next link when a new update comes out#and since this is just a fun hobby i dont want it to become less fun cause of smthn like that#anyway if i dont end up continuing that Im sorry in advance#I will def feel horribly mind crushing guilt about it for a while#but we'll just see lmao
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fucked my entire day up thinking about an undead person intentionally inhaling and exhaling while holding or sleeping beside someone they love even though they don't need to because the motion and sound of breath makes them feel safe and secure
#🐉#this is tangentially a#VALshrue#post#idk if VAL *needs* to breathe anymore but she does say she doesnt eat or sleep#so i like to imagine her intentionally choosing to sometimes just to make shrue feel less alone#like how cats show affection by mirroring you even though it doesnt benefit them in any way#<- thoughts of a guy who is extremely healthy and well btw
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my gendered experience growing up as an intersex person was overwhelmingly defined by my responses and resistance to everything that got me labeled as a failure: failure to quickly get a gender assigned at birth, failure to go through a normal puberty and grow up into a woman, failure at meeting the standards for "complete womanhood" because of my intersex sex traits, and yet simultaneously failing to ever be acknowledged as a "real man" and being treated as a threat when I expressed I wanted to transition.
before i realized i was a man and came out as trans, the ways that girlhood was denied to me was very often humiliating and painful. locker rooms filled with other girls were a frequent source of shame. there were many big and small ways that i was told that my intersex body made me insufficient, incomplete, broken. i was forced onto estrogen, forced into shaving my body hair, and was constantly being told to change myself to better fit this mystical idea of a "normal woman." and even though I ultimately ended up becoming a man, the denial of girlhood was painful.
but i think that these things would have been even more difficult to navigate as an intersex girl if on top of everything I already said, i was having to cope with the denial of my girlhood while i was forced into boys locker rooms. if my doctors were forcing me onto testosterone hrt and refusing to even discuss estrogen, if all my legal paperwork had "M" on it and was a logistical nightmare to change, if every support group for my intersex variation labeled it as a "men's support group," if the LGBTQ community spaces i tried to join were misogynistic towards me often to the point of exile, if my self determination as an intersex girl was denied in most spaces of my life, and on and on and on. while listing all these things out i also don't want to make it seem like it's all about suffering and pain--so much of transition for me has been about joy in my self determination and how much it feels like a reclamation of autonomy to decide what I want my body and self to be like--i know this is an experience i share with so many of my trans intersex friends.
as an person who was AFAB, although there were many ways that trying to grow up as an intersex girl were a painful, logistical nightmare, many times and places that i was excluded from woman's spaces, etc. however, there was a simultaneous affirmation that i was right to strive for that in the first place. which is logic rooted in some fucked up compulsory dyadism, but also which would have made some things slightly easier or even possible at all if i had wanted to embrace being an intersex girl within this fucked up system.
pretty much every time i've seen people on tumblr talking about "afab transfems" in an intersex context, people seem happy to collapse these experiences and act like there's no meaningful distinction or point in distinguishing between different types of intersex embodiment. it seems incredibly extractive, to be perfectly honest with you--taking terms already used by a community to make meaning of their experiences and to expand and dilute that term enough that it means something pretty different than the original.
it's making me think about the concept of epistemic injustice, which is a term coined by Miranda Fricker to describe oppression related to knowledge, communication, and making meaning of the world. There's two subtypes of epistemic injustice: testimonial injustice and hermeneutical injustice. Testimonial injustice refers to the dynamic where marginalized people are labeled as not credible, excluded from conversations, and their testimony and knowledge is labeled as unreliable, even when they're the ones who are experts and have first hand experience of what people are talking about. (this is why i probably won't make this post rebloggable--i've noticed this pattern on tumblr many times where trans men speaking about transmisogyny get lots of notes and are given a lot of grace, where trans women are silenced, attacked for not having perfect wording, and otherwise delegitimized.)
the second type is called hermeneutical injustice. it describes how marginalized people are denied the right to make sense of the experiences in their own lives. this can look like preventing people from building community, terminology, a political understanding of themselves, and the interpretive resources needed to process how you live in the world.
this is a form of injustice that I think almost all intersex people are very familiar with--we are denied community and interpretive resources to the point that we're told we don't even exist, that intersex isn't a real word, and so many more examples that leave us isolated and with very few options for understanding what we're collectively experiencing. as an intersex person i really intimately understand how frustrating, confusing, and painful it is to not have words for your experiences, your identity, your life.
so it makes me really sad and pissed off when it seems like intersex people seem to be replicating this exact same type of epistemic injustice towards transfems and specifically towards intersex transfems. pretty much every time recently i see people talking about "afab transfems" they're doing so in a way that seems to deny that trans women even have the right to make sense of their own experiences in the world. there seems to be this mindset that these political frameworks, these interpretive resources that transfems have built up are just up for grabs for anyone. and then on top of that has come with it a lot of cruel, hateful language and direct attacks towards many intersex transfems who are facing so much harassment right now.
an important value to me is this idea of reciprocity as a foundation for solidarity. to me reciprocity means that we're prioritizing the ways we care for each other, we're thinking about how we can uplift each other, and we're watching out for extractive or exploitative patterns where one group is constantly expected to be in "solidarity" with another group without getting the same respect and care back toward them. i think that there could be so many ways that intersex people of all genders could share our overlapping experiences and actually be in true, meaningful solidarity with each other, but i barely ever actually see that happen on tumblr. and that pisses me off, because i do think that there's so much we have in common that we could celebrate and support each other with. i feel so much kinship with so, so many of my trans intersex friends, and ways where i see our lives converge. but i don't think that can happen in an environment where there's no acknowledgment of the ways that our experiences will sometimes (often) differ from each other, and the ways that we have unique needs.
another frustration i've had based on this most recent couple months of transmisogynistic intersex posting on tumblr is how intersex people have been mostly ignoring intersex community resources and devaluing the existing intersex terminology that people created to try to meet our needs. so much of what i've seen people describing on tumblr seems to really line up with the term ipsogender. Ipsogender is a term coined by an intersex sociologist Cary Gabriel Costello, and is used to describe intersex people whose gender matches the gender they were medically assigned at birth, but who might not feel like cis or trans fits them, might experience dysphoria, and who might feel like they've ended up transitioning medically or socially in some ways. this is a word that exists that an intersex person put time into coining because they wanted other intersex people to feel seen, embraced, and have ways of understanding themselves and communicating to others, and that's something that's super meaningful to me! and yet, i've rarely seen anyone reference it, and also seen multiple people making fun of it in other spaces online.
there's also intergender, which is another intersex specific gender term used to describe when your gender is inseparable from your intersex traits, and that your intersex identity is intertwined with your gender identity in some way. some people just identify as intergender, others use it as an adjective and exist as an intergender man or woman. intersex terminology like this is really important to me, especially because we're so often denied the right to make sense of our own experiences.
i think ultimately what i wanted to say with this post is just that when i think about intersex community, some of the most important values of intersex community for me are solidarity, care for each other, and affirming our right to define our own existence. and i don't think that can happen in a community where people are acting in extractive ways, harassing and attacking their fellow community members, and being dismissive of the realities of other intersex people's lives.
#personal#actuallyintersex#intersex#actually intersex#transmisogyny tw#this post is not going to be rebloggable for now but if any intersex mutuals want to reblog it i might turn reblogs on#this just feels like an intersex conversation in a way i would prefer not to do with an audience of spectators.#also a tangent: i do understand that agab is not a body descriptor. i think that agabs are a form of curative violence perpetuated onto us#this is something i've been consistent about expressing for years. if you go back to old posts you'll see that there's many times i've said#over the years that agab is messy. that i know people who were assigned one gender at birth and another gender as a toddler#who identify as cis and trans and a million other things. i understand that and im not interested in denying their existence#so. don't take this as a universal statement from me about every single instance of “amab transman” or “afab transfem.��� but rather in the#context of the current dynamic i'm seeing on tumblr of widespread transmisogynistic harassment#that i think much of the way people are talking about this is exploitative and harmful#also i've made many posts before talking about how like. many things would change and become intelligble in a less compulsorly dyadic world#but we aren't there yet. and so there are many terms that are still meaningful and relevant for us right now#and as always: i am one intersex person with one perspective i like to hear from other intersex people including intersex people#who think differently from me
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