#feels like i’m never gonna move out of my mom’s place 🫠

[wizardmilfs]

busted laptop screen hours hahahahahahaha

[nerdieforpedro]

Weekend Update

12/03/2023

Nerdie, you’re making this a thing now?

Yes! I have to keep ya’ll updated on what’s going on.

Well, what did you read this week?

Many wonderful things:

I will again sing the praises of @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin three part series “When My Time Comes Around.” You’ll feel all the emotions and be thankful that you read something that touches you deep in your soul. 😭 She also attacked my heart again on Frankie Friday with bittersweet angst in Tender is the Night. I'm a fan of the melancholic greatness that is Angie.

So...you like reading about sad things?

There's more to it than that. Just go read her fics! Then you'll know.

Tommy Miller fans unite! @musings-of-a-rose is continuing to feed our younger Miller brother delusions with her series “Falling Slowly.” The slow burn romance is one of the trope I really dig. And Gabriel Luna always. 🫠 Dig into some Tommy…

Nerdie, you’re doing so well, don’t jinx it.

I mean, I'm not wrong. Whatever, moving on...

I also read Honey Stained Hands by the sweet and deceptively naughty @undercoverpena too. Seems to be a Joel fix this week. Post-outbreak. The reader manages to make honey and different sweets in Jackson. Telling ya’ll anymore is a spoiler. Go read it!

There’s also another grizzled man this week. Tim Rockford who in the capable hands of the same writer @secretelephanttattoo who brought us Marcus Pike (Doughnut Debauchery) and the reason I’ll never look at doughnuts the same, I’m sure she’ll find many a use for his gun holsters. She began her new series “Undercover.” I’m throughly looking forward diving into more of the chapters as she releases them.

@linzels-blog wrote another Din Djarin fic that is equal parts sensual and sweet. It’s called Safe to Touch. I’m rather fond of our intrepid Mendalorian and him exploring his body with someone he loves is a treat.

Speaking of which, who doesn’t like baked goods? We’re also being fed by @avastrasposts as she starts her A Baker’s Dozen series with Pedro Pascal characters. Her first one is about our favorite trash cuddle panda Dieter Bravo. It’s adorable. 🥰 Such fluff.

Nerdie, you actually read fluff? This is surprising.

What do ya’ll take me for? I told you, 80% smut. This is in the 20%. Geez. 🙄

I will say though, this next one, 100% smut, not watered down, will burn your throat and you’ll love it and want more. You’ll want it other places. 😘

Welp, we knew it was gonna end here eventually.

Yes! @morallyinept had me removing my socks and pants in an effort to cool down, it did not help. I will think of this version of Dieter Bravo when I’m out at night. Heck, maybe as I walk across the parking lot to get in my car after a shift. That honestly would be the perfect time… long story short, wild back alley sex with both Dieter and the reader being complete and utter lust filled humans. It is called, Back Alley Bang if you enjoy Pedro Pascal characters smut, it’s required reading or at least highly recommended.

Anything new for you this week Nerdie?

Session Two of my “Sard’ika Sessions” will be out on early Wednesday AM in EST. Session One and all sessions will be linked to the Sard’ika Sessions Masterlist. I’m currently writing sessions 3 and 4 from my notebook because I wrote them down. Wild what you think of between the hours of 12 mid and 4am.

I finally started writing for our Pickled Peña prompt! I might even have it in on time. If you’d like to join in, see all the details here. I’m on the fence about smut, odd I know. 🤨

I also started a Benny Miller fic (likely fluff with food) and a Christmas fic with Joel and Layla (on OFC I wrote three fics on a few months ago - I love them very much ❤️). Joel and Layla are on my Masterlist.

Anything outside of fanfiction Nerdie? Please say that’s not the only thing you do. 🙄

I have a job you know. I actually worked this weekend. I visited my mom while she had a cold earlier this week. She’s very into Tom Hiddleston. Not a bad choice, I too appreciate his accent and baritone voice. She enjoys his dancing. 🕺🏽 I’d watching Loki with her and finally got her to watch Andor - she liked it but called it “low budget Star Wars” because she didn’t know any of the actors. I swear she’s so goofy. I love her. She also said that Andor grew on her like The Mandalorian and she wants to see more. I may be able to get her on board with both Lunas eventually. 😝

I’ve been working on my Statistics class. It’s difficult but I’m pushing through. 😵

Finally watched two Garrett Hedland movies this week! Country Strong and Four Brothers. The first was bittersweet but I liked it. He did sing a lot which was wonderful. The second one I’ve seen multiple times with little brother (he loved the movie when we were younger.) Garrett looked so young! It was from 2005 though.

Well Nerdie, your week sounds full. Good luck!

Have a great week everyone!

I jammed to while some music while looking at a picture of Gabriel Luna that @musings-of-a-rose sent me because she knows me well and is always willing to share: 😍

One of the songs was:

Stay safe and feel better to all those who are feeling under the weather,

Love Nerdie ❤️

[strawberry-metal]

Ok, so I managed to get sick today and ended up throwing up stomach acid. Fun. Soooo I’ll try to make this update readable despite feeling like shite. Also if I come across as rude at any points I do also apologize for that. >.<

Ok… I’ll try to make this easy to read.

-First off I ask that any invasive questions be kept to yourself, even if you’re a friend. Alot of this is private life matters and it is between me and those involved. I do not want to talk or reveal things about my private life, and I don’t want to do that about THEIR own private life as well. Please respect that. Only ONE of my friends knows everything and that’s just because they happened to be online when I REALLY needed an outsider to talk to and get an opinion from. Do not try to find out who it is, and if you know who it is, leave them alone please. And to my other friends, do not get jealous if you don’t know anything. It was again, simply because this person happened to be the one person online at the time. Do not bother them or start drama over it, please.

-Sooooo as I said above, I’m sick and threw up stomach acid. Hooraaaaay :D My allergies are also on high alert because I took a little walk in my backyard annnnnnd it’s full of ragweed. I’m REALLY allergic to ragweed. Rip. 🫠

-After moving I’ve… realized alot of things…in regards to my parents. I’m not gonna delve into the past or reveal private matters but…I was not the best daughter. I regret it so much. I did not cherish them. I also realized just… how much I love them. Legit cried for three days and didn’t sleep for two. Heh, since when was I such a crybaby? I want to be their little girl again but no matter how much I ask, the lord won’t rewind time.

-I spent all my time on the internet and I would stay home when they would go out to do stuff. For years. My parents had me really late, they’re both in their 70s now… while I’m in my 20s. I regret so much. Most kids get to have their parents until they're middle aged. I might not very well get that blessing and that tears my heart apart. It’s so unfair. There’s so much I need to make up for. I wanna make up for all the fights with mom, never really talking much or confiding in with my Dad, not going out with them to places, being so easily irritable, etc. I want to make up for things and lost time while I still can so I don’t have any regrets…

-I’m always so damn worried something will happen when I’m not around. My mom has bell’s palsy so if she gets sick she could end up in the emergency room. I almost lost her to covid. Dad I’m scared of him getting hurt because he’s a workaholic and always doing strenuous activity despite his age. What if he finally gets badly hurt? I’m not around all the time anymore if something does happen.

-And truthfully, I… realized I wasn’t as ready to move out as I thought I was. Alot of the reasons will remain private, but I’ll just say that I… wasn’t properly prepared for it, and the dating years weren’t like how most couples do them. My autism certainly makes that so much harder too. And all my stuff is already moved into the new place. Nothing of mine is at my folks anymore. Not even a bed. It just breaks my heart because I honestly feel like I don’t belong anywhere anymore, and I know I’m getting people hurt because of it. I just wish I was honest from the get go about how I felt so this whole situation could of been avoided.

-Honestly I just wish there was a way all four of us could be together.

-That’s all I’m gonna talk about. I don’t want to talk about or reveal anything more as it is private life matters. Please respect that.

-I’m probably gonna spend less time on social media because I desperately want to make up for lost time. I don’t want to have any regrets… so please don’t be scared if you don’t hear from me in two days or so.

-I will not answer any asks regarding this post but thank you for taking the time to read this update.

-I just feel like such a fuck up.

[jeonqkooks]

hello, jen love 🤍 i'm a few days late, it seems like hehe ;u; i'm sorry for not popping in sooner, and more frequently, but i hope this letter of mine finds you sweetly and serenely.

how has the new year been treating you so far? do you have any resolutions, any aspirations you'd like to achieve this year? how about places and people to see, things to do?

secondly, how was your trip home? i hope your family has been well and healthy. what did you get up to there — did you eat all the foods, shop all the shops, walk all the streets? i hope you felt rejuvenated there, a little soul reset — i recall seeing a post or two from you, saying you miss home/your mom after coming back... i hope that part of yourself has healed, even if just by a bit.

and in the land of minho, how has that gentleman been fairing on your heart? has he been holding it tenderly? has he been loving you dearly? i certainly hope so! (every time i see a mention of him anywhere, and the group, i think of you hehe) may the stay fandom (stayblr? i saw that mentioned when i scrolled through your sideblog! what a cute name 🥺) be a safe place for you, warm and cozy.

i miss you, and am thinking of you extra. continue to stay well and happy, however that may look like to you. surround yourself with light and love; and may that carry you through the rest of the year seamlessly.

thương thương, with all my heart —

cee 🤍

MY LOVE 😭🤍 i’m so glad you’re here, i’ve missed you 🥹

the year’s been going okay so far. i’m still settling back into my routine after being back home and then having my friend visit me for 10 days over the holidays. i never really have new year’s resolutions but this year i do want to get out of my comfort zone more, get out of the house more lol, start doing more things that make me happy. i also want to get a new job and move to a new country, so hopefully that could be in the cards for me this year!! wbu? do you have any resolutions for 2024?

the trip home was good!! overwhelming at first bc so many things were different after 4 years, so many people i hadn’t met in years, it did take a while to get used to. but overall it was really nice being there. i definitely felt recharged while i was there, just hanging out with everyone and seeing all the things i missed, and i’m gonna try to visit once a year from now on! but yeah after coming back, it was pretty hard at first. the seasonal depresshaun and the loneliness got to me lol but it’s better now. it kinda sucks to think that i’ll probably experience it again every time i go home but what can you do, yk? 🫠

how’s your family? how are things with you and your love? how’s the job?

the land of minho !!! 😭 i didn’t know you’ve been checking out the new blog as well hehehe. it’s been going great!! i’m having so much fun there (knock on wood, knock on wood, knock on wood) it’s been a blast getting to explore and swoon over a new group, really reminds me of how happy i was during my early bangtan days. it’s really made me fall in love with writing again which feels wonderful. i think i’ve been writing almost every day and i’ve written more in the past couple months than i did for the majority of 2023. mimo has been the best muse and the absolute love of my life 🥹 (and right?? stay is such a cute name!!)

i’m always missing you and thinking of you. i hope 2024 treats you well (lunar new year is less than a month away!) and brings you lots of happiness and peace. love you to the moon and to saturn, thương thương 🤍

[ghostiewriter]

I finished KoA🥲

I fucking new gavriel was gonna die I had a feeling and I thought I’d prepared myself for it but I did not and I was fighting to hold in my tears cuz I was not by myself at the moment and it fucking hurt. All those years he could’ve had getting to know aeidon😩 l know it was like he finally accepted his dad after that but it still hurt.

Bro and the thirteen sacrificing themselves for Manon 😫😫😫😫😫 I actually couldn’t hold in my tears for their deaths. Idk if it’s because out of all the characters stories Manon was one of the most captivating for me besides aelin. I absolutely loved her character arc and development, I could never get enough of her chapters and hated when I had to wait more than 5 chapters for her to come up again. And asterins story was so incredibly sad but she’s no longer separated from her human love and child🥹 (not me talking about these characters like they’re actual people)

Also she and dorian better have gotten together after the book I was really rooting for them and I hate I didn’t get to see them finally fall into a romantic relationship with each other. They were so fucking cute 😭

Sorry this is all over the place but I hated reading aelin getting tortured I felt so helpless and was so mad at cairn and Maeve for all the shit they did to her but it’s ok cuz Rowan skinned him alive and maeve finally died in the end :)

Also my appreciation for Rowan and aelin’s relationship after she was rescued went way up. He was just perfect for her and I love them together. I felt for aelin so much, all the shit she gave up for everyone and when Dorian’s dad have her the message from her family 😫 and when she was breaking a little and her mom was comforting her omg my heart was breakinggg.

I loved seeing the soft and vulnerable side of lorcan when he and elide finally got together it was adorable. Idk what it was about their story though I just felt like it was a bit rushed in a way after she avoided him for the most part which was understandable I guess I just really wanted to see a whole conversation about what happened and for him to beg on his knees even though he couldn’t lmao. But it was understandable since they were in the middle of a battle and she was terrified she lost him. Also Lord Lorcan Lochan 🤣 I fucking love them

Lysandra is amazing I love her and I’m glad she didn’t immediately forgive aeidon for all the shit he said to her. I understood why he was mad but this mf took it so personally like my dude get over yourself and stop treating the woman you love like shit!! That being said when they finally got together I was very happy for the both of them😌

Also Yrene fucking Towers ending erawan😏 love her

Omg and them when aelin and chaol finally met up with Dorian 😭 I love all their friendships and it was actually so heartbreaking when the war was done and everyone had to leave back to their countries :(

There’s so much stuff I could say more about but that would be really fucking long and I feel like I’ve gone on enough for now. It was a good read even if it broke my heart over and over again

OH BESTIE I SOBBED DURING THIS BOOO I GET IT AHSHSBSJZBSNSB

The Thirteen sacrificing themselves and Gavriel’s sacrifice genuinely got me, I wasn’t expecting it to make me sob but they did😭especially Gavriel like he just started having a relationship with his son!!!!

ELIDE AND LORCAN ARE SO CUTE AND THEY ARE ONE OF MY FAVS!! Still pissed we never got that smut scene tho, we were robbed!!

But I adore Yrene and I need more Manon and Dorian and just everything was so🫠and the wee scene with Dorian realising he was named after his dad? KILLED ME

anyways, now you can move onto acotar��you’re gonna LOVE IT