#feels like a failure of a Chinese

[another-miracle]

Had to conduct an ADHD assessment interview with my case’s parents today and oops they came in not knowing how to speak English. Thank God for my supervisor who could field the questions. I kept telling them 我不会讲，会听 (I can’t speak, but I can listen). It was on the spot translation to fill in my interview form.

[gloomyclownstudies]

i hate when i’m applying for jobs and there are some where knowing chinese would be beneficial, but i can’t say i do bc i’m terrible at keeping up with studies due to the unfortunate circumstances which is my brain not letting me do things

[soulphiav]

my birthday is in a week and umm i can’t believe i am turning twenty one. i want to have five again

[sarshles-cheescake-li]

Link Click, internet slang, and Chinese culture

On the Chinese internet, there's a nickname for Link Click called Shiguang Daidaoren, meaning "the blade-bringers of time" instead of "the managers of time," the original title. Calling something "blade" is Chinese internet slang for something being angsty; whether it be derivative content or the originals themselves. Another meme is that Link Click isn't zhiyu (治愈，healing), which it is tagged as on Bilibili, but zhiyu (致郁，causing depression).

Link Click, especially its first season, is a deeply emotional and sentimental show. And it's a shame that so much of it gets not so much lost in literal, linguistic translation as much as it does in cultural, contextual translation. Many people can understand Emma's pain of being away from her parents in a new city, working a difficult job. But watching the scrolling comments on Bilibili, you get the cultural context of it -- the massive migration patterns within China from rural to urban, the children growing up and having to shed their local fangyan (方言) or, less formally, tuhua (土话)("speech of the locations" and "old-fashioned words," respectively) in exchange for Beijing Mandarin. This massive nation, nearly twice the population of Europe and only about 6% smaller in terms of area, is so diverse as to have created (what is close to) an immigrant experience for its citizens entirely within its borders. You visit your parents on Chunjie (春节）, lunar/Chinese new year, on packed trains during the largest singular human migration event on Earth, annually. And when you get home, you are faced with something different from the cities you now live in -- everything from the buildings to the furniture to the clothes they wear. I hadn't realized how deeply I missed the gaudy, garish mianao (棉袄，coats) and mianbei (棉被，cotton blankets) until I saw familiar shades of too-bright burgundy in the hands of Emma's parents. The concept of this original-home, laojia (老家, old-home) is so strongly baked into our lives that every time I meet another Chinese person, I cannot but help but ask them 你老家哪儿啊? Where is your original-home? And even though I know nothing about Chinese geography, every time I hear the answer, a little piece slots into place nonetheless.

In slang, if something made you cry or otherwise feel an emotion you weren't expecting to feel, you refer to it as pofang (破防，breaking defences). And maybe it says something that an expression of human emotion is viewed as a failure in some defences, but that's introspection for another time. Watching on Bilibili, with its hundreds of comments scrolling by "My defences have been breached" and sobbing onomatopoeia, people in the comments saying that they miss their mothers and fathers -- I, too, miss my family. When Cheng Xiaoshi, in Chen Xiao's body, tried to speak his host body's local variation and came up with butchered dongbeihua (东北话, words of the east-north), I nearly fell out of my chair. It was the sound of home, of my grandmother telling us to hush around noon because our neighbours were napping and my grandfather showing me how to play spider solitaire.

Cheng Xiaoshi's breakdown in episode 5 hits hard for its vulnerability. "I'm scared of the dark" has the same literal meaning as "我怕黑," sure, but there is something devastatingly childlike in that three-syllable declaration of fear. Where English so often derives meaning from complexity, from winding metaphors and beautiful prose, Chinese can derive breathtaking meaning from less breath than it takes to say the word analogy. 我怕黑 is stripped of any grown-up pretenses of control or dignity. It is the barest this statement can be: I. Scared. Darkness.

And what he says following, too. 我害怕一个人. Longer yet no less potent. Alone, or lonely, has many translations in Chinese. 孤独. 寂寞. 孤单. 单独. Many more synonyms for all the different ways you can be lonely. But 一个人 is, once again, an almost child-like way of saying it. Before you have the vocabulary to express these complex emotions, 一个人 is a perfectly working expression. Translating it character-by-character, it means one singular person. It is something you say when you've been left behind. When you've been made to face everything by yourself. When the world is so, so, big, and you are just one singular person, with no companions to stand with you.

And, ah, Li Tianxi's Chinese nickname, 小希. It is the last character of her full name, with a "little" shoved right in front. It is an affectionate way to call someone younger than you. It is different from Xixi, its English rendition, because a repetition of the last character is a more generalized, affectionate nickname, whereas diminutives are almost always reserved for someone younger than you, when used in real life. The diminutive says don't be scared. I'm here now. I'll handle it.

There are endless details in Link Click that make everything about it seem a little bit more like home. The word 面馆 which means something a little, subtly different than "restaurant" or "noodles shop," a difference lost without the context of the phrase 下馆子 and the way adults say it with the gladness of once-children who only ate meat on new years. The "honorifics" as English calls them, to me more of just -- ingrained parts of someone's name. Within the snap of Mandarin syllables there is meaning and memory in every character. Jie, mei, di, ge, lao, da, xiao -- they are more than their literal meanings. They are a relationship, a promise.

Perhaps I am overthinking this, awkwardly Chinese as I am: too localized to be considered first-generation, too stubbornly attached to relate to second-generation. Maybe these linguistic subtleties only exist and matter in my mind, a writer of both languages (though I must say, my Chinese prose leaves… much to be desired) with a knack for pedantics. Regardless, I hope other Chinese fans of this show share this feeling. And surely, other people will, too. All the rural children who left home to pursue higher education and opportunities in faraway cities; the raised-in-poverty who spent their childhoods dreaming of buying their family new coats; the speakers of languages long since abandoned by their childhood friends. What a delight it is to see yourself in stories, neither exception nor abnormality but a norm. What a joy it is to be one of one point four billion.

[trendywaifus]

2024 HALLOWEEN SPECIAL MASTERLIST

❝ WHAT’S YOUR SCARY MOVIE? ❞

WARNINGS — DARK THEMES, MENTIONS OF DEPRESSION, ATTEMPT OF SELF INJURY, DEATH, BLOOD, CONTROLLING BEHAVIOR, INJURY, YANDERE THEMES, DUBCON, PURITY LOSS, CREAMPIE, ORAL FIXATION, VAGINAL PENETRATION, SIZE KINK, CUM–EATING, FINGERING, CUNNILINGUS, UNPROTECTED SEX

04 |SCREAMPIED ! — transfem! ghostface! feixiao x fem! reader. there seems to be a second serial killer who has their eyes on you. but it seems like they came for you for a different reason. will they be a failure like the last one was? (10/6) continuation of — i’m like the wind baby !

preview ↳ you angrily picked up your phone for the third time in two hours, draping the towel over your shoulder as you sat down on the sofa. “ this is the third fucking time you called my damn phone, “ you shouted, pausing some cheesy horror movie that you forgot was on while taking a quick shower, “ take a hike you fuckin’ bum! don’t ask me about what my damn favorite scary movie is because i don’t have one! the last one was somehow less annoying than you are! “

there’s a small pause from the other side along with consistent, wet noises of skin slapping against skin. “ . . .fuck, “ the husky voice lets out a strained groan and laughs breathily, “ keep talking, i’m almost finished. mm, you sound so fucking hot when you’re upset, doll face.”

“ what the fuck? are you getting off from my voice, you damn weirdo? fuck off. “

05 |NATURAL PREDATOR ! — serial killer! jane doe x fem! reader. she craves you and the normalcy you bring into her life. it wouldn’t hurt to preserve it by keeping you in her home. don’t worry, she won’t hurt you if you don’t hurt her. rats aren’t natural predators after all, right? (10/26)

preview ↳ you swat the chinese food aside in frustration, jumping up from your seat, and glared at your unamused kidnapper sitting on the other side of the table. “ is this some sick game to you? chasing, kidnapping me—taking me away from my life to satisfy yours? “ you hiccuped, tears swelling in your eyes. “ and why in the actual fuck do you think it’s okay to make me sit down with you and eat some takeout food after you’ve been gone all day? what, you expect me to “gossip” with you after all the shit you’ve done to me? “

hurt flash in her teal eyes before she sighs heavily. “ do we seriously have to keep coming back to that? i understand that you’re upset but you’ll get use to this, to me soon enough. i know that i haven’t been here lately and i’m sorry. i’ll do my best to come home to you as early as i can. here, “ she says apologetically, handing you a napkin across the table with the pointed end of her tail, “ please, sit down, wipe your tears, and eat your food, my dear. unless, you prefer for me to do all of them for you? “ there’s something dark lurking behind her voice as it lowers an octave. a shiver runs down your spine at the hooded look in her narrowed eyes.

06 |ADAM & EVE ! — yandere! robin x gn! reader. all she wanted was to save her brother. even if it meant taking a bite from the forbidden fruit, stripping her away from reason, her purity—what makes her robin; an internal separation from who she used to be. ( 10/31)

preview ↳ robin straddles your lap, her darkened emerald eyes pools into yours, lulling you deeper into a trance-like state. your body feels relaxed and heavy, bones softening like malleable metal. the halovian woman lean close to you with a sickeningly sweet smile on her pale features as she brings the bitten apple to your bruised lips. there’s voices—hushed whispers ringing in your head, commanding you to take a bite of the apple. you don’t fight them back, you can’t. lust, euphoria and her hypnotic tune clouds your judgement.

you bite into the apple and sink further into the abyss, along with the shell of a woman who used to be great.

07 (BONUS?)| WUTIWANT ! — jason! transfem! acheron x fem! reader. i don’t know what i want but i know it’s not this. these words mean nothing once they’ve left my lips. (??)

preview ↳ ???

[moeitsu]

Logan Howlett (Wolverine) Lore part 2 :)

Wow! You guys really appreciated my first post about Logan's backstory/lore and I'm grateful for all of your feedback!! Here's the link to part 1 if you're interested :)

I'm so happy to see all the love he's getting, its actually surreal to be a part of this fandom again and seeing all the new Wolverine content! The fanart and fanfics are literally my life-source rn. You don't even wanna know what my tiktok saved folder looks like....

You guys asked for more so here is part 2! It's not as organized as the first part, apologies. I'm using both the movies and comics here. Some stuff isn't confirmed but generally accepted in the mcu.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

Wolverine first appeared in The Incredible Hulk #180. He was supposed to be a mutated human/animal but the idea was later scrapped.

He was approx. 197 years old when he died in the movie 'Logan'

There's multiple different deaths in the comics but I wont get into that.

Logan is 5'3"- 5'5" (short king)

He has black hair and blue eyes

Before the adamantium, he weighed 196lbs (88kg). After the binding he was 300lbs (136kg)

His body is poisoned by the adamantium metal as it breaks down over time. Requiring him to be in a constant state of regeneration, which begins to slow down as he ages.

Without the metal he probably could have lived a lot longer.

Logan has a fear of water, or rather, drowning. It’s one of the only times can’t regenerate. It would cause his death.

The Weapon X program is also responsible for this fear since he was submerged under water for a long period of time for the binding.

The metal in his body also makes him so heavy it would be very difficult for him to swim.

In the comics Logan temporarily loses his healing factor due to a virus created by Dr. Abraham Cornelius. (Weapon X scientist) This event leaves him vulnerable for the first time in his life, forcing him to confront the reality of his mortality.

His healing ability greatly affects his mental state. Logan can quickly recover from physical damage, but he still feels all the pain. His ability to cope and endure despite the overwhelming suffering is central to his character.

Logan has an acute sense of smell. He can track people and objects across a great distance. It’s so precise that he can identify people’s emotional states such as fear or anger. Even when someone is lying.

Logan was sensitive, shy, and timid as a child.

The first person he ever killed was his biological father.

After killing his father he ran away from home with his friend Rose. (a hired companion to help care for him when he was young). Unfortunately, Logan accidently killed her during a fight.

Logan speaks several languages, due to his extensive life and travels. He speaks English, Japanese, Russian, Spanish, Chinese, Cheyenne and Lakota.

He’s actually an incredibly smart guy, don’t let him fool you.

Despite his love for alcohol, Logan’s healing factor makes it nearly impossible for him to get drunk.

Logan brews his own beer in the Origins comics. (we love a domestic husband)

On Logan’s birthday every year, Sabretooth seeks him out just to beat him up as a twisted "gift." Sabretooth calls this tradition "birthday beatings."

Spider-Man and Wolverine have teamed up a few times in the comics and they are a hilarious pair.

Logan's "berserker rage" is not just a result of his animalistic mutant powers. But stems from his deep psychological trauma. This side of him only emerges when he is pushed into extreme emotional or physical stress.

At one point before he escaped the Weapon X experiment, he was hired to kill Charles Xavier.

Logan's wife Itsu and son Daken were allegedly killed by the Winter Soldier, however it was later revealed that his son actually lived and had been consumed by hatred for his father. Logan was forced to kill his own son before he could cause more harm.

This act is one of, if not the most painful moment in Logan’s life, as it represents his ultimate failure as a father.

Logan blames himself for Jean Grey’s death.

He lived a majority of his life without his memories. Having no idea who he actually is.

Despite his involvement with the X-Men and his many close relationships he often feels like an outsider. Like he doesn’t belong anywhere. He isolates himself because loneliness is a familiar feeling.

Logan prefers the solitude and sanctity of nature. He loves the outdoors and has a lot of respect for the natural world. Often retreating into the wild for his own peace.

In one comic he baby sits Luke Cage and Jessica Jones daughter. Danielle Cage.

He can be quite playful at times with the younger mutants. For example, building a snowman with Jubilee.

Logan dreams of a normal life. He dreams of having a family with a wife and children and leaving the violence behind.

[inkdrinkerworld]

Inn Love Chapter 3

one two

cw: money issue talks, feelings of failure, james and reader being in love and idiots, a little angst (?) friends to lovers

wc: 2.6

“It’s not looking good,” you mutter to Mary, head in your hands as you go over the accounts one more time. 

“It’s the off season, we’ll find something else to do.” 

She’s too kind, too understanding. You wish she’d blow up at you and quit for not being able to pay her on time. 

You sigh, long and hard. You have to figure it out. The Secret Garden is your baby, and even though this is your second year owning it, you’ve still not figured out how to supplement the off season so you make a profit. 

You don’t know if you’ll ever be able to. 

“We might have to. How do you feel about starting up line dancing lessons for a little bit? Just until I figure it out?” 

Mary grins, nodding her head. “I’ve missed it some. Won’t exactly be hard to get back into.” 

Mary’s the best worker you have. The only one you have really, but she’s still the best. 

You close up your books, and double check that all the rooms have been checked out of and begin locking up. 

James is waiting for you on your front steps, hat tipped low as he leans against one of the beams. 

“Hey Jamie, didn’t know you were stopping by.” 

You try for chipper, a smile in your voice as you hold your tote bag on your shoulder. 

“Wanted to see if you wanted to get lunch with me.”

You pause, reaching right in front of him. It’s instant, the way a frown fights for the space of your smile. It’s also instant the way James notices. 

“What’s wrong?” He takes your bag from you, leading you to his truck. 

“Nothing. Where are we getting lunch?” 

James frowns a little bit, but doesn’t press. “Had Chinese dropped off to the house, got all your favourites.” 

You grin, James does this a lot and it makes your stomach flip every time. 

“Meet you there?” 

James frowns again, then shrugs. “Yeah, darling.” 

You double back to your own truck, James setting your bag in the bench seat. 

You watch James pull out first and take a moment to collect all your worry and all your anxiety and stuff it deep in your chest, burying it with a bit of hay before sighing. 

You can’t let James see you’re worried or anxious, he’ll sniff the information out of you and if you tell James then you’d have failed. 

The first year it was understandable, the second year; you’re not sure you could tell the person who helped you build the inn from the ground up that you’ve been having months of money troubles. 

You pull up behind James, sliding out of your car and racing him to the front door. 

“You still cheat.” he says with a smile, you shrug while pushing open the door. Inside James’ house, you’d think it was hot, all the southern heat trapped in the walls, but it’s always cool. 

He’d explained it to you once, the stone and wood kept it cool, but also he had put in a central air con to maintain the chill. 

“I got shorter legs than you James, it’d never be fair.” 

James shakes his head, following you to his dining table where all the boxes are already laid out. 

“How much noodles am I allowed?” James rolls his eyes. You always eat most of it and he always gets you your own box because why deprive you of your favourite thing?

James doesn’t think there’s actually anything he could deprive you of. 

“Does lack of sleep mess with your memory?”

You grin when he passes you an entire box, and then the rest of what you usually like.

As you eat, the talking kind of subsides, which is weird by yours and James’ standards.

“Are you sure nothing’s wrong?” He asks when you migrate to the living room, laying out long on his sofa while he sits with your feet in his lap. 

“What do you mean, Jamie?” You try hard not to stiffen your body as you respond. 

He sighs, hands squeezing the arches of your feet. “I dunno, something feels wrong. Like you feel down.” 

God you could cry right now. James has always been in tune to you like this, as you are with him, but it sometimes gets to be too much because lying to your best friend hurts. Especially when he can tell something is off. 

“Just tired I guess.” you shrug one of your shoulders. James hums but doesn’t say anything and you feel guilt like a hot poker in your stomach. 

You wiggle your toes in his lap and his hands fall back to massaging them. 

“Wanna watch ‘How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days’?” 

James never has to ask twice. 

You don’t mean to, but you and James fall asleep right there on his sofa. Some time during the night you’ve shifted, he’s laying under you and your head is on part of his chest with your legs tangled up. 

The only reason you wake up is because James’ alarm is blaring and you’ve got the worst crick in your neck.

“Make it stop,” you grumble, hiding your face in his chest as he stretches. It’s comfortable even for friends, the way James holds onto your waist as he leans over you to grab his phone. 

“Shit, s’nearly four. You gotta go darling.” 

You’d lasted nearly a whole three minutes without thinking about the fact that The Secret Garden wasn’t doing well. 

Almost awkwardly, which is strange for you and James, you sit up. As you stretch all your joints crack and you sigh where James winces. He’s always hated how you can just crack your bones like that- he worries you’ll break them one day. 

“Nah I got the day off.” 

James’ eyebrows shoot up. “So the TSG is closed today?” 

You wish your friend wouldn’t ask so many questions. Lying to him is hard work. 

“Mary’s running the morning shift today.” James looks a little sceptical but drops it, making his way to the stairs. 

“M’gonna get ready. You staying on the ranch then?” 

You nod, what else is there for you to do? Plus if you use your ‘day off’ to be anywhere but the ranch, say going job hunting or to the bank, your quiet little town will somehow have your going-ons back to James in no time. 

“Heat up breakfast and I’ll make us coffee.” James is back down in ten minutes, showered and changed into his wranglers, a thin white t-shirt and his work boots. 

You’re sure you’ve got yours around here somewhere.

James and you work like a well greased machine, making breakfast and coffee and doing the dishes all in one go. 

He tilts his head to the screen door in the kitchen that leads to his side porch.  

“Wanna watch the sunrise with me and then go round do some ranch chores?” 

“Still got my boots in the coat closet?” you ask and James rolls his eyes. 

“When has anything of yours left this house? You’re everywhere in here.” His gaze is too intense for you to laugh it off. It also makes you feel like you’ve caged race horses in your stomach and they’re butting their fences. 

“You say that like it’s a bad thing, Jamie.” is all you can manage before going in search of your boots.

James doesn’t think it’s a bad thing at all. Honestly, he wishes there were more of you in his house; he’s just not sure if saying that to you will cost him everything. 

Shoving your feet into the boots you sigh, then take a peek out at the sky and shiver. “I’m taking a coat.”

“Take anything you want.” 

This is why you can’t tell James about your money troubles. He’s going to give you anything to turn it around, but you’re not sure if anything he can give will. You also can’t use him anymore than you already do. 

“Race you to the stables!” James takes off before you can even put down your empty mug. 

“You’re such a cheater!” You whine as you race behind him, his laugh floating back to you as you reach the stable doors. 

“Takes one to know one,” he says playfully, causing you to roll your eyes.

James holds the door open for you and as soon as you get in you head for Snowglobe. 

“My baby,”  you coo, already kissing the side of his face while James lets his own horse, Landslide, out.  

“You’d swear he wasn’t nearly twenty three.”

“Don’t remind me Jamie.” you grab a brush and go through the usual maintenance just as James does with his horse. 

“We’re riding up to the fences to check on the horses, then we’re feeding them.” James talks about his day like it’s easy, but you remember the hard work that goes into ranching. You’ve got your work cut out for you, and you’re not even doing the hard stuff like moving hay or any of that. 

“Lead the way, Cowboy.” 

After a couple hours, you go back to the big house and take a shower, well and truly exhausted. James wouldn’t let you haul hay, so you’d been feeding the animals, cleaning the stables and doing a bit of general cleaning up around the ranch while he and his farmhands mended parts of the fence, herded the cows and hauled the dried heaps of hay. 

By the time James comes in, you’re halfway through preparing dinner- beef stew. 

“I would’ve cooked after my shower, darling.” James says as he hangs up his hat and boots. 

“Yeah, but now by the time you come back down, we can eat together.” 

James frowns again, you’ve never been away from TSG for this long since it’s been opened and it’s worrying him that you won’t talk to him about it. 

If he’s honest, you haven’t gushed about the inn since you left it yesterday- which is very unlike you. That place is your pride and joy and everyone knows it. Especially James. 

He holds his tongue on his worry and nods. 

“I’ll be back in ten.” 

Through dinner, you’re on your phone, checking your accounts, trying to see where you can make more money or if you’ll have to do the one thing you don’t want to. 

After your sixth sigh in ten minutes, James sets his cutlery down and reaches a hand for you.

“Darling, I know you said it’s nothing, but it’s clearly not. Can you tell me what’s wrong, please?”

Before you can answer, Sirius bursts through James’ house. 

“Did you see TSG’s been closed all day? Wonder if everything’s okay.” 

You freeze in your seat when James turns to you with wide eyes and a slack jaw. 

Sirius coughs to dispel his embarrassment. “Sorry doll face. But why are you closed? Is everything alright?” 

You can’t even be upset with Sirius because for all of his faults, he’s always concerned about you. He feels very much like an older brother in that way, even when he’s giving you shit. 

You rest your head on the table and sigh. 

“Don’t be upset Jamie,” you start, slow and more than a little nervous. You don’t know how you’ll feel if James is angry with you. You don’t want to feel like a failure to him. You don’t want to fail yourself even more. 

“I think I’m gonna have to close the inn.” 

Sirius gasps, James frowns. “Forever or for a while?” 

You lift your head, “For a while. I’m not sure how long. I’ve got to go over the account but we’re not making a profit right now.” 

“Darling,” he says at the same time Sirius swears. 

Tears spring in your eyes. “I know, it hasn’t been making profit or any sort of money for a couple months but I thought it would pick up again, but I guess late summer is not our season.” 

James stands quickly when your first tear falls and Sirius ruffles your head. 

“There’s nothing to be ashamed about, it happens. I can help you work through it.” You shake your head at James’ proposal. 

“You helped me start it up and I can’t even keep it running through the entire year. I can’t expect you to help me every year that I have a slow period.” 

Sirius tuts, “You could always sell your bakes in the off time, dollface.” 

James wipes your tears away, “I can still help. I don’t mind helping out.” 

You shake your head. Sirius seems to get it before James does, and what it is you’re trying to say. 

“No Jamie, I think maybe working on the ranch or doing a little baking on the side would be good. Right doll?” 

You nod, “I don’t wanna keep using you Jamie.” 

James tuts, tilting your chin up. Sirius takes his cue and goes into the kitchen, looking through James’ pantry. 

“You don’t use me. You’ve never used me.” It’s hard to argue with James when he speaks with such conviction but you know you have. 

“But I did. When I was opening up TSG, it was you helping me.” 

James smiles then, “Yeah I helped, darling. It was a mutual thing. We’re friends, of course I helped you. And I can help again, but if you want to do this part on your own, I’d get it.” 

James wipes your tears, gentle and sweet as ever. “I need to go do a final closing for the season and set some things in place, but can I stay here in the meantime?” You force the words out, soft and whispered against the space between you and James. 

“You can stay here as long as you like,” 

“Thanks Jamie.” 

He shrugs, dimple poking out in his cheek as he smiles at you. “You’re always welcome darling, c’mon I’ll drive you to TSG and help with lock up.” 

As it turns out, telling James you’d been struggling wasn’t that bad. It was hard and you’d felt like a failure for a little bit, but he talked good sense into you and now you’re staying with him till the start of autumn. 

“I can work the ranch, Jamie.” You proposed on your second night on his sofa. 

“You cannot work the entire ranch.” James wasn’t even being funny about it either. You really can’t. You get cut up easily and you blister worse than he does. 

“Okay, I can work the stables.” 

James rolls his eyes good naturedly, tossing a bit of popcorn at you. You’d both been watching a new horror that James had seen advertising. Watching is a generous word because you both talk through all the dull parts and you squeeze his fingers in anxiety during the freaky parts. 

“As opposed to?” 

You giggle, “Hey, I can work the garden or help milk the cows.” 

James chuckles then, his dimple on display making you want to poke your finger in it. “Same cows you’re afraid of? You can work the stables darling, you know your way around it.” 

You squeal, leaning up and closer to James to kiss his cheek. You love doing it because James goes red hot and can’t stop his flush. Even as kids he’d go beet red the minute you gave him a kiss to his cheek. 

“You’re the best James. The best ever.” 

He grins, “I’m glad you finally noticed.” The pillow behind your head whacks him in the face as you groan. 

“That was yuck, don’t ever say that again.” James laughs through your disgust, slotting your pillow behind your back again and holding your feet in his lap as the horror builds. 

[nyaskitten]

I feel like all the people saying Lego probably would not care enough to get a diverse cast for the ninja forget that, even if mostly just for sales, Lego HAS been trying to diversify itself, lmao.

While a horrific failure, Piece By Piece, the latest Lego movie, still made like a Bunch of new skin tones and pieces specifically for the purpose of being more inclusive. They got Snoop fucking Dogg as a Lego...

With Monkie Kid, Lego has like a large team devoted specifically to cultural accuracy, because of how revered the story they're basing their theme on is, and how important some of these guys are as religious figures.

Literally with Dragons Rising at some point they switched Arin from a white kid witth freckles to a black kid, and made the conscience choice to switch Euphrasia's intended race, lmao.

While these are specifically Lego minifigures and thus easier, you cannot possibly convince me Lego "just doesn't care" about being inclusive lol. Again, even if it's just performative or to drive up toy sales (sans that first example) they still are Doing it and are Aware of it, so truly, sincerely, I'm gonna say for (HOPEFULLY) the last time, there is no way in hell we're getting an all white cast.

I get that they dropped the ball heavy and hard w/ Ninjago because they couldn't be bothered to do cultural accuracy, but fun fact! Writers and executive's opinions, viewpoints, and ideas change after 13+ years! Do I think the racist elements will be Fully gone? No. There's a guy named Wu in a heavily Chinese-inspired series, ffs. Do I think they're gonna make all the ninja white, or get untalented celebrity actors? ALSO NO!!! I think there'll be like a big name celeb or two, but they're not gonna oversaturate the film with that.

Also I don't take arguments on this specific post I'm plugging my ears and running away lalalalalala

[greenunoreversecard]

Kai general and Romantic headcanons

A/N:sorry if I got any of the characters wrong, I was using a combo of wiki/Google translate as I don't speak any of the languages mentioned. Pls let me know if I got any info wrong, i will gladly go in and change it to make it right.

General:

Half Indian and half Chinese.

His and nya's last name is 鄭 (Zheng), but he says it's Smith bc when they where younger he got in the habit of lying about his name so he Didnt have to deal with CPS.

His ma is from Visakhapatnam in Andhra Pradesh, and was a practicing Hindu. Ray is from the 云南 (yunnan) province, and was a practicing theravida Buddhist. Ray is ethnically from the 傣族 (dai people, also spelt Tai in english)

Before his parents dissapearances, they both brought him to their hometowns, and actively taught him both cultures and religions, which he continued to learn about and even teach Nya about after their dissapearances.

When he was 14 he bought a small boat and him and Nya rode it across the costal line, and he promised Nya one day when he was older he'd bring the both of them to their parents hometowns.

He's a Buddhist.

He speaks so many languages.

Like so many

He's fluent in Thai, mandarin and cantonese chinese, telugu, urdu, hindi, Punjabi, arabic and ninjago-ian(idk whatever language ninjago speaks)

Also trying to learn Indonesian.

He also knows yunnan dialect bc his dad would speak in it more often than not

Absorbes info like a sponge

He likes to quilt

He always wears a golden bracelet He got from his moms jewelry box after she left.

Likes to draw but is bad at it, so he colors coloring books

Introvert

He may act all confident, but he really isn't. super insecure

Soooo good with hair

Like, has all the stops. 10 step hair care routine

rivals Zanes cooking skills.

When working out focuses on building rather than lean muscle.

Mother friend

has dragged all of his friends into the water splashing festival.

Fatal flaw is loyalty and kind of hubris (it's conflicting, ik with the insecure and extreme pride, but like- it makes sense in my head. Inferiority/maybe superiority complex.)(it makes sense bc this is such me behavior. Imagine hating yourself but thinking ur the baddest bitch alive)

Likes to stare at fire

If he can't sleep he'll make a small bonfire to stare at and think

insomnia

Chronic cigarette smoker

Romantic:

Hes more show than tell

Def acts of service (me frfr)

Although, he is very cuddly.

Not in public, though. Maybe infront of the other ninja if it was a rough day

Loves to rock you gently from side to side when yall are hug

loves to give you temple kisses

He's very gentle with you, treats you like glass

You wil prolly say ily first, and he'll go;"🧍‍♂️...cool?"

He has mommy and daddy issues, but HEAVY on the mommy issues. Have fun with this hyper-independant fuck who can't accept help without feeling like a failure even though they need it (I'm not projecting you are)

Goes all out for holidays and anniversaries.

Doberman/German Shepard vibes tbh

When it's just you two he doesn't feel the need to fill the air with meaningless chatter, so if he feels safe enough to just share air without talking feel honoured and cherish it bc that means he actually trusts you.

A little rough around the edges, but will remember that thing you said 5years ago on ur first date

Most dates are chill inside and take a nap

But sometimes if he can he takes you on the town or someplace fancy

Also likes to show you his favorite childhood spots

[girlbossblackbeard]

S2 TRAILER ANALYSIS WITH 1 BILLION SCREENSHOTS

obligatory warning that this post is gonna be SOOOOOOOOOOOOO foolishly long and rambling with all my silly little theories and thoughts and if you ALSO have silly little theories and thoughts you should ABSOLUTELY share them here please!!!! we can clown so much harder when our cacophonous honking harmonizes!!!!!!!

NOW ONTO THE POST (putting it under a read more so tumblr doesn't literally explode):

-the revenge looks BUSTED AF: i don't know if this is from general disrepair when ed is in his kraken era or if she was in a battle but her sails are all dirty in the opening shot of the trailer, and later we see stede on her deck with tattered sails and ropes everywhere, AND i'm like 99% sure that the shot of buttons ziplining from one ship to another is him going from the Chinese warfleet ship to the revenge, which i'm guessing is essentially stuck bc the sails are so torn they would never be able to catch the wind strongly enough to move her. I also wonder if the shot of roach shooting a canon at something is him shooting a canon at her since we had all those allusions to her exploding from samba, vico, and david on twitter all those months ago

-stede's earring: he DOES NOT HAVE THE EARRING when we see him lying on the deck next to roach and sighing dramatically nor does he have it during his conversation with Olu about stede dumping him, but he DOES have the earring in later shots like the beach english fight and when he's talking about being a failure his whole life which means WE WILL GET TO SEE STEDE GET HIS EAR PIERCED!!!!!!!!!! we'll get to see him make the decision to look even hotter and who knows who does the piercing for him idk!!!!!! @sluterastede had a dastardly beautiful thought in her brain about ed giving stede the piercing and stede making groaning noises and izzy once again thinking they're flapping their jacks right there on the deck in front of god and everybody!!!!!

-stede is spilling his heart out ("i let him down. i should've just told him how i feel") to susan on her ship (you can tell it's her by the long hair)

-interesting that there's a drawing of a donkey next to ed's wanted poster considering s1 had the line "a rich donkey is still a donkey". also i can't really read what the surrounding posters say other than "WANTED 20 GUINEAS". is this in the republic of pirates?

-stede says "i will find him" meaning ed may be actively avoiding stede at the beginning of the season???? (or the basic laws of travel physics have finally caught up to them)

-"look, captain, you know blackbeard's gonna murder you" i just think it's interesting that Olu is referring to him as blackbeard again even though ed told everyone in his pink robe era to call him ed. like it makes sense that he'd say blackbeard considering ed is on a rampage but it just made my brain wheels start spinning

-the Kraken crew are eating cake :)

-ed is holding a torch while letting the storm rain down on him: i don't think the laugh we hear is his because i don't think his mouth is even open during that slow-mo shot

-STEDE with a TEAR in his EYE as he says "i think i hurt him pretty bad"

-ed sobbing on the floor while the little bride cake topper is next to his head

-ed choking on the weed smoke i'm ACTUALLY crying, but also: where the fuck is ed when he's sitting in the chair smoking??? i thought it was on deck at first bc above his head is really dark and it looks like the lanterns we see on the deck of the revenge but there's a chandelier too?? it might be whatever shop Anne Bonny and her friend "you two know each other?" run bc behind ed in that chair is just a bunch of random furniture and a chandelier like we see when ed and stede are at the market. in fact, i think ed is smoking with Anne Bonny because I think that's her hand in the corner of that shot:

-"no more booze, no more drugs, and no more _____" not sure what the end of that sentence could be but we know that the "stede" that was put in there is NOT what he actually says!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-"you two know each other?" now hold on a sec because it kinda sounds like stede met Anne Bonny and Co. separately from Ed/before that market scene (maybe in the teaser clip of Anne on Stede's lap??) WHAT IF WE GET THE AITA SCENARIO WHERE ED AND STEDE TELL PEOPLE ABOUT THEIR VERSION OF EVENTS AND NO ONE REALIZES THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT EACH OTHER UNTIL THAT MOMENT BC THEY'RE BOTH SO BIASED ABOUT ONE ANOTHER

-the evil guy definitely got his nose sliced off by Jackie. good for her :D I also don't think the evil guy is Hornigold, i'm still holding onto my theory that the man in the white rags we saw in the teaser and this trailer is hornigold's "ghost" that ed needs to contend with to find his inner peace or whatever a la stede with nigel's "ghost". but i DO think the evil guy is the rich prince dude from that leaked audition tape from rhys's friend. if memory serves, the guy wants to buy his way into the pirate lifestyle but he's pompous and entitled which makes him reckless. based off the production stills we also got today, he still had a nose when he went into Spanish Jackie's...but i don't think he leaves with one. so because he gets butthurt over invading a space that was NOT meant for him and faces the consequences of purposely disobeying their customs, he defects to the english navy and goes on a rampage against all piracy, very MRA energy :/ also, later izzy says to him "you don't know the first thing about piracy" which would further support that this guy just tried to buy his way in

-izzy gets an honest-to-god pegleg but he doesn't start the season off with it because we see him in several shots with both legs, like the wedding raid and swordfighting stede on the beach. unsure if he loses it due to infection from the toe situation or if he gets shot in the knee like i've seen some posts talk about, but @sluterastede mentioned that one of the leaked audition tapes for archie included dialogue about an amputation so maybe that character has to uh. Get Her Roach On

-as i mentioned before with the teaser analysis, izzy is clearly training stede for something and now im guessing it's the english but like we kinda knew that !

-olu is in a bar fight??

-THE "ED GETS CAUGHT IN A BUCKET ON A ROPE DURING THE STORM AND GOES OVERBOARD" THEORY IS OUT. THE "ED TIES HIMSELF TO A MF BIG ASS ROCK AND JUMPS OFF A GOD DAMN CLIFF TO GO ON SOME SOUL-SEARCHING JOURNEY UNDER THE SEA" THEORY IS IN. and what the FUCK is the rag man doing with ed up on that cliff hello?????? if my theory is correct and that is in fact hornigold's ghost or whatever, what advice or harmful shit is he saying that makes ed do that?????????????????????? but do note the large rock with the rope around it in the first pic

-the revenge crew is blowing up SOMETHING on the side of a building. maybe to cause a distraction or gain access inside the building? is it the side of Spanish Jackie's?? also hiiiiiiii lucius <3

-"our entire escape relies on this" i'm just assuming they're trying to escape from the english bc that seems to be the Big Bad of the season??

-not plot related but during the rope swinging training session izzy slaps stede on the ass and makes this face (sir??????):

>he also has his pegleg here so their mentorship may ramp up after izzy is out of commission for hand-to-hand combat. maybe izzy was supposed to have a larger fighting role alongside ed in defeating the english but once he became incapacitated he realized he would need to train someone else up for the job so ed would be sufficiently protected. but it also had to be someone izzy knew would be willing to die for ed to save his life if it came to that, just like izzy would

-"i've been a failure my whole life. it's not so bad once you get used to it" is stede talking to ed here? is that ed's hair in the corner of the frame??

>side note: as mentioned above, stede also has his earring by this point!!

-"you're going through that 'if i was a regular dude' phase" first of all, SPANISH JACKIE AND EDWARD TEACH BEST FRIENDS TRUTHERS RISE UP. second, why would ed be considered a regular dude now?? how did he lose his reputation? did he willingly give it up or was it taken from him? is this permanent or just temporary? or did he fake his own death with the cliff and the rock thing so he could retire and live a more normal life?? the swede doesn't seem scared of him at all in the final clip from the trailer, straight up asking him if he's poor and going "back to basics". of course, that could just be a power trip from being one of Jackie's newest husbands (or at least her waitstaff)

-possibly totally minor/just a continuity error thing, but: ed has a red ring. we saw it in s1 as he picks up the rather fine cashmere and we see it as ed dramatically drapes himself across the ship's helm with his head on his hand. we do not see it in the scene where he's smoking (see above) or the scene where he's talking to the rabbit. now, if you'll allow me a little bit of clownery for a moment, red has been explicitly coded in this show to be a symbol of love/the heart, especially as it pertains to edward like his red silk scarf as a metaphor for his heart in s1. what if. what if he. gave the red ring (his heart) to. SomeOne. because.....................because his heart belongs to st--[GUNSHOTS]

-olu, jim, and archie with garlic around their necks and making a cross with their fingers - clearly they think someone is a vampire on the ship. @sluterastede proposed it could be izzy, especially if he's on the brink of death due to an infection and frenchie managed to spread his superstitions to other people on the ship!

-THIS FUCKIN GUY. WHO ARE YOU??? it seems like he kidnaps stede and his crew and throws a party on the ship and drugs the drinks which is why everyone is kinda tripping/laughing in some parts. but then everyone gets tied down (stede to the mast, wee john's hands get squished, olu and roach's heads get squished, and jim and archie's feet get secured to the ship's railing i think??). also that wide shot is definitely the rando dude hitting some shrill high note at the same moment the revenge crew cry out in pain from all the squishing (except maybe jim and archie - they might just be laughing at the others bc they're badasses and this pain is nothing). also don't know what the guy is looking at when we first see him but im thinking maybe it's a wanted poster of stede and he's looking at the description of the gentleman pirate to confirm it's the dude right in front of him/that he's captured?? also i think roach is wearing flowers from the drug party in his apron when he fires that canon, so maybe he's tripping too and shoots a canon?? i need a prayer circle for the revenge's safety at this time

-stede has a bullet hole???????????????? did ed fucking shoot him in the heart?????????????????????????? he also notably does NOT have the earring in this scene but he does have the sexy stiddies (blue) shirt like we see in the other shot where he DOES have the earring. maybe this weirdo dude pierces stede's ear bc he thinks stede needs to look more piratey?? or stede gets absolutely sloshed (or drugged) and gets his ear pierced idk !!! maybe jim does it bc they're effortlessly cool and has a bunch of ear piercings!!!

-idk if this is a coincidence or not but i'm pretty sure stede in his training scenes with izzy is wearing the clothes he wore in that final shot of s1 as he rows to find the crew on the island (white linen shirt, dark pants, brown belt and boots). so either costume changes are happening later in the season, they're reusing outfits like normal people do, or the training montage happens extremely early on in the season

-so originally with the teaser trailer i thought ed falling in the water was followed by the shot of ed coming out of the water on the beach. i don't know if i fully believe that anymore because ed is NOT wearing his jacket on the cliff (see above), but he IS wearing it as he comes up out of the water, so either it's two different events and ed just spends a lot of time in the water this season or he puts his jacket on before jumping off the cliff

-ed his holding his right side as he slashes that dude on the beach so he definitely got hurt in battle but i hope it's not him getting stabbed bc ur supposed to cleverly take the sword on the left where all the unimportant bits are :(((

-I VERY STRONGLY BELIEVE that the person in the scene where stede turns around and shoots his gun into the air and everyone else on deck suddenly draws their weapons against that person is our boy lucius!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he's wearing a beret?????????? @sluterastede proposed that lucius got picked up by the english navy after getting thrown overboard and that's why we see him in the english navy garb (which we later see frenchie in too?? i believe an infiltration fuckery is afoot). also the fact that the shot immediately after this one is of Black Pete doing a happy little fist pump which i'm choosing to interpret as a cute little easter egg symbolizing Pete gets reunited with his love. i also also also believe lucius is in the shot of buttons about to zipline from one ship to the other. i missed him :')

-okay i know i said in an earlier post that stede running across the beach was romantic but i changed my mind and i think izzy is just making stede do cardio as part of his training lol. his outfit matches the one he's wearing when swordfighting izzy in that earlier wideshot and i think he even still has the scarf belt and the full beard in both scenes (explained at the end of this post via production stills) so maybe they have an honest to god training montage that takes course over several days and we get an incredible 80s powerballad to play on top of it while stede thinks of ed to motivate him or whatever. david jenkins hire me to help write season 3 i have ideas

-i think jim is behind stede as he breaks into the weirdly religious room we saw in the teaser when stede punches that guy??

-ed is pretty bloodied in the shot of stede leaning over him and saying VERY worriedly "ed????" so my theory is that ed got hurt in battle or he was taken captive by the Chinese warfleet and stede was worried he was grievously injured. however, once ed comes to and realizes who's kneeling over him, he gets pissed and headbutts stede because he's still mad at him for breaking his heart, and maybe his hands are restrained/his body is too weak so he can't push stede away. or maybe they had to begrudgingly work together on some mission and stede fucked it up and ed got hurt so he's mad about that idk!! ALSO HE'S WEARING THE CRAVAT HELLO

-ed in buttons's shirt looking so PEACEFUL what the HELL. obviously it's from the same general time as him being in Spanish Jackie's when she's talking to him about being a regular dude and later when the swede asks him if he's poor addkjfajdfhlkefh i fucking love this show and its writing so much. but ed says "no, i'm just trying something different man >:/" so i wonder if this is ed at the end of s2 or if this is more towards the middle as he's still in the thick of his healing journey. maybe buttons teaches ed about meditation and/or the tai chi he practiced with the Chinese warfleet crew??

-the BTS production still of ed with his "trust no one" tattoo also features what i believe is the treasure chest we see jim carrying off the ship in the shot where fang is smashing two dudes' heads together!

-i also think the BTS production still of stede with the beard is early on in ep 1 because he has a full beard (that im hoping someone on the revenge bullies him into shaving off to the scruff we see in the rest of the promo materials) and ALSO because he's wearing a long red scarf around his waist, which we never see again in any of the other promo material - except, however, around his neck as a makeshift cravat:

>it's the same exact material and everything! my guess is he gets his ass handed to him in a fight (maybe against izzy??) and his scarf belt gets destroyed, so he repurposes the shredded fabric into his necktie

-there's literal gold bars in the background of this production still lmao the kraken crew got BUSY during ed's goth era

>speaking of, the fucking hair dye dripping down izzy's forehead in this production still:

*sad clown noises*

in conclusion:

WE'RE BACK BABEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

anyway that's my second dissertation on less than 2 minutes of content that turned out to be quite literally 6 pages long :)

[badasgirlfriend]

Love On The Down Low - Bada Lee Social Media AU - 031

pairings: bada lee x zhong lei

prev - masterlist - next

TW: grooming

a/n: would've could've should've is the song she wrote </3

taglist: { @1luvkarina , @hallotherenicetomeetyou @fillthwvoid , @kdacase @prilux @jjlovesbada @waveartistry , @dkluvs , @pinksults, @tikitsune , @b1ackbunny , @adaiasafira, @froufrousnowman , @99ycs, @badaslali , @italiekim , @saturnushasmyback , @heedoya @fairiechuu @itsbokutosjuicyass , @tnu-ree @jesuschrist2006 @asweetcollide , @ssivinee , @downbadforbada , @starryelling , @pupbistro , @dexthzone , @smoooore }

Numbness

That's what Bada had been feeling ever since she got that message. There were no tears or screams, just silent suffering. Her eyes were dry and she felt hollow inside. She was staring at her blue notebook she got with a pen in her hands

'Whatever you think, sorry but I don't give a fucking shit'

But mostly, she was mad.

She felt a burning anger within her. She was mad at the people who didn't believe her and continued to throw so many words at her without hearing her first

'Sorry, I don't give a fuck that your life is medicore'

She was angry at the company she basically brought back from failure.

'That you screwed up and are unable to leave the shithole'

She was mad at that girl who, for no reason, decided to destroy everything she has worked for. Playing the victim while Bada is the actual victim

'For you to think that my success is related to your failure"

Bada felt a growing sense of dread and anxiety. She had a feeling that this story would end badly for her, and she didn't like where it was headed.

Trapped in a nightmare with no way out

"Your delusion is top-notch fuck it"

Her eyes remained glued to paper that was filled with lyrics. Her attention was focused on the song she was working on, not even glancing at the girl who just entered the studio. She sighed and scribbled the mistake she had accidentally made, for what seemed like the hundredth time.

Bada heard the chair next to her being pulled out, but she didn't look her way. Lei remained silent as well, not making a sound.

Lei stared at her, Bada's hood was up, hiding her face perfectly. She moved her eyes to read what she was writing. She cracked a smile, happy to see Bada get her motive back.

She wanted to say something, but everything that was on her mind felt embarrassing. Lei wasn't used to having this problem with anyone else. In fact, she was always the one striking up a conversation, you can never keep her mouth shut. But ever since she spent all those nights thinking about the butterflies she gets everytime she hangs out with Bada, something changed

Oh she's so fucked

"What's worse?" Bada spoke up, and Lei's eyes immediately darted towards her

"Being wanted but not loved, or loved but not wanted?"

"Uhm depends in what situation you put it" the shorter girl answered "But for me, I prefer a situation where both love and want are mutual"

Bada only nodded, satisfied with her answer. "Same" she muttered and closed the notebook. She then pulled her hood down, and tried to fix her messy hair

Lei felt sorry for the girl. Her eyes felt dead, and her eyebags were only getting worse day by day. Compared to when she first came and now, she lost so much weight too

"Let's celebrate" Bada bent down down and took out a small convenience store white cake from from the mini fridge.

Lei eyed her suspiciously taking a sip of water "What is this for?"

"For me getting kicked out of my group"

The chinese girl almost choked on her water "what- you got kicked?" she asked in disbelief, she didn't think it would come at this point

Bada's head whipped around in the blink of an eye "N- no oh my god, I said it wrong. Maybe I'll get kicked, I don't know they're thinking about it. If they can't win against the girl then yes"

"Well fuck your CEO and manager" Lei muttered, throwing her bottle on the floor in a fit of rage. "This whole situation should've ended months ago. That company is so greedy and corrupt, just hungry for more attention and money"

Bada couldn't help but grin as Lei continued to angrily ramble and curse everyone. It was oddly adorable how she would grab the hem of her shirt every time she was mad and play with it. Bada also noticed the way her heart began beating abnormally, and she couldn't help but feel a tug of affection for this girl. She'll ignore it for now

It will go away

"It's okay. We'll see how it goes" Bada replied "We'll see what happens" She passed a fork to Lei, and they began eating small bites of cake without even bothering to cut it.

"You didn't tell me you were a YG trainee."

Lei shivered at the mention of YG, her mind going back to those haunting memories of her time as a trainee. The voices of the other girls and stagf constantly putting her down, the pressure of being perfect, the abuse and neglect, most importantly him

"Yeah" Lei's mouth suddenly went dry at the thought. " How do you know?"

"I saw your 'YG songs' file" Bada said

"Oh, should've changed the name" she uttered "I was for five years then I left"

"I don't blame you" Bada sympathized. "It's a good thing that you left. They're known for keeping trainees forever without ever making their debut."

"It's not because of that" Lei sighed, avoiding eye contact and looking towards the computer. "I was forced to leave. They forced me to go, and there wasn't much I could do about it. It's a long story"

Lei's cheeks reddened when she felt Bada's hand grab hers.

"We have time" Bada said, reassuring her.

2016

Lei's whole body was shaking, and tears would run down her cheeks. She was trying to hard dance perfectly, but she simply couldn't anymore. The pressure was taking a toll on her, and she couldn't keep up no matter how hard she tried.

"Hey are you alright?" a voice said behind her. She wiped the tears from her face quickly, her eyes still red

She turned around to face the person, and her eyes widened as she saw who it was. It only took a split second for her to recognize him as her senior, she was too embarrassed to look him in the eye. Instead, she bowed and kept her head dangling low "Y-yes Im fine thank you"

He smiled softly at her and laughed. "It's obvious you're not, here take my water bottle."

"It's unnecessary really," she was about to deny his offer, but his playful glare won her over. "Thank you."

"If anyone's giving you a hard time, just tell me. I'll have a talk with them," he said with a lighthearted tone. He winked at her, and Lei blushed hard "How old are you anyway?"

Lei cleared her throat and replied "15"

He smiled at her amused "Really?" He eyed her up and down smirking "You look much older"

If only she knew..

~

"I was 15, and he was 26" Lei muttered, their chairs now touching. Lei rested her head on Bada's shoulder and closed her eyes, Bada caressing her hand

"I was young and dumb" she continued "and he was older and manipulative. He took advantage of my age and innocence to mold me into what he wanted me to be."

Bada's nails dug into the chair, and her grip tightened. She clenched her jaw so harshly that she could feel the tension in her jaw muscles "Who's that man"

Lei sighed "The famous Kim Jihoon, Korea's pride, funny title if they only knew"

This hit Bada like a brick. Suddenly, all the rumors she had heard among some trainees made more sense. Bada had met him many times, and he had always been nice, but there was always this weird feeling about him. It was like something was off and not quite right.

"At first, he started buying me drinks and snacks during practice. Then it turned more serious he began gifting me jewelry. Months went by and we started dating. I was on cloud 9 from happiness, everything felt perfect. I thought I was going to debut, and I was dating every girl's dream boy."

Bada bit her lip at Lei's confession, feeling a mixture of anger and sadness.

2017

Jihoon sat next her, smiling as he looked at her. "You look so cute like this. You should make your hair into little buns more often" he ran his thumb over her cheek gently, making her smile.

"It makes me look so childish though" Lei replied, feeling embarrassed.

"Nah, you look pretty, you're a big girl" he said, leaning in close and brushing her cheek with his lips. Jihoon pressed his body close to hers, but he immediately backed away when some of the other girls entered the hallway. They instantly began to giggle and greet him with playful flirtatious smiles, and he smiled back.

Lei felt a pang of jealousy and envy as she witnessed this, feeling completely insecure compared to these pretty girls. They were older than her, way prettier and about to debut soon. Everything Jihoon was looking in a girl

"Can't let them see us, right?" Jihoon laughed teasing her, and Lei's smile fell

She was his, but he was never hers

~

"We had been dating for a year, and I often felt uncomfortable with some things he wanted me to do. I just felt so confused because he was older and wiser, and he was an idol. He always used that as his excuse whenever I questioned him." Lei's hands began to shake as she tried to explain the emotions and situation she had been in.

Bada closed her eyes, trying to hold back her tears. She placed an arm around Lei's shoulder and reassured her "It's not your fault-"

"It is, it was always my fault"

2017

Jihoon slammed the practice door and shouted, "What the fuck Lei?"

Lei took a step back, her hands shaking behind her back, feeling nervous and scared. She tried to get her words out but her mouth was dry and she felt too overwhelmed to respond.

Jihoon cursed again and began to brush his hair with his hands. "I told you not to talk to me in front of the others. God you're so stupid and immature"

Lei said quietly and sniffled "Im sorry, please don't leave me"

Jihoon frowned and sighed, pulling her closer to him and wiping away her tears. "Im sorry for yelling but it was your fault baby, you made me really mad" he continued "But I'll forgive you"

Lei whispered "Why do you never talk to me when we're around other people?"

He placed his hand under her chin, gently lifting her face towards him. "They can't know about us because then they'll say that you debuted because of me"

Jihoon placed a sweet kiss to her forehead, and he looked at her with a playful grin. "We don't want that to happen, right? So let's keep it a secret."

'He's older Lei, he knows what he's doing'

He moved to kiss her lips, but she quickly turned her head away. She didn't know why she felt so uncomfortable with making out with him, but she has to, other girls would let him do things like this "I'm sorry Jihoon I don't really want to-"

He looked at her with a smirk "Shh it's okay don't worry. I know you're inexperienced, but it's okay. We'll take things slowly and learn together."

~

"He used me in so many ways, and I just let him. Chenle was so against our relationship, and I told him I broke up with him just to get him off my back." Lei explained, feeling a mix of guilt and shame

Bada's mind was flooded with so many emotions. She wanted to hug Lei, kill that motherfucker and burn down YG Entertainment.

"I noticed that he would always ask for my lyrics journal and I gave it to him since I thought it wasn't a big deal. But he never gave it back to me. One day I was at the cafe when I heard his newest song playing. I recognized it instantly because it was my song that I've written."

Lei paused and took a deep breath, Bada squeezed her hand in comfort. "His whole album was filled with songs I wrote, he changed nothing. I was so angry that I texted him saying that I'll tell Yang HyunSuk about what he did."

"Three hours later, I got called to his office, where Jihoon was also present. Jihoon started accusing me of selling his songs and leaking information, and even stalking him. Everything he said to Yang HyunSuk, he believed it without a doubt. Yang HyunSuk offered me two options: they can sue for stalking and selling their songs, or I can leave the entertainment and the country for at least five years and the police won't get involved"

Bada sighed sadly and rubbed her face, feeling awful for the girl "So you chose to leave"

Bada felt sick, her girlhood, her dream everything was taken away from her. Lei didn't deserve what she went through, at such a young age

"I had no choice but to leave," Lei replied softly, smiling faintly at Bada "We weren't financially stable, and in this society, who do you think they would believe?"

She shook her head sadly. "A man who's admired by everyone or a young girl who no one knows? They would never choose the girl."

"I went back to my parents after everything and worked for a year before coming here to live alone. It wasn't easy, but I made it work because I had to. I wanted to continue pursuing my dream but I couldn't. I just had to move on and let it go"

She was so used to this pain that it became normal to her. But damn did she feel sorry for herself

She was young

Bada quickly wiped away the tear rolling down her cheek before Lei could see it. She then took her hand and gently held Lei’s face, making her look at her directly.

"You were just a kid, and you didn't deserve that. He was 26. And I don't want you to blame yourself, it was never your fault."

Lei gave a quick nod of her head, trying to fight back her tears.

Bada pulled her closer and hugged her tightly. She whispered in her ear "I'm so sorry you went through this alone. But you did it in the end, and I'm super proud of you."

Lei held her firmly as well, hugging her as close as their chairs would allow them to. Neither of them minded the uncomfortable seating position and just wanted to stay like that

"And when my hiatus is over, If you want, we can go together in Korea. I'll be by your side so you can finally speak up and tell your story. Everyone deserves to hear it from the heart."

Bada whispers this in Lei’s ear with a gentle voice "And you can't hide your talent" Bada said as she pulled away from the hug and logged in on the computer. "Why stop your dream for a fucked up man, his life is going to get destroyed either way? You can get your songs back and sing them like they're supposed to, and we'll make sure everyone knows the truth and knows that you deserve better."

Lei nodded softly and let out a small, broken chuckle. "I'm sorry this turned depressing so quickly"

Lei clicked on her YG files and pointed to one of the songs "I wrote this after I realized everything he did to me"

"Can I hear it?" Bada asked

Lei didn't reply, she just played the song, Bada listened carefully from the start to the end. Each word was like a knife in her gut

She felt sick

[spiderpussinc]

are the 2099 comics THAT bad in terms of racism plus other weird writing choices??? i'm starved for miguel content and would like to read the original comic run but i keep seeing the debate of the original comics being problematic and/or downright just BAD bad (not to mention miguel is supposed to have mexican heritage but he's straight up a white redhead lol)

Some people may disagree but speaking as a latinx writer; it's bad because it is racist, yes! On multiple fronts!! And beyond that, it's also bad as a complete failure of comics structure and compelling narrative.

Longpost, on readmore;

I say this as a long-time capeshit reader, as politely as possible: Miguel's comics are a *paycheck* book. As in; a series a writer does monthly to be paid for it, but with middling aspirations and downright negative characterization depending on where their mood is.

The first few issues of his 1992 run are relatively complete and well-balanced, may even trick you into thinking this story is going somewhere; but that's only because they're the /character pitch./ Ill skip to the end and tell you upfront. That 1992 series ends with the implosion of the whole "2099" line of comics (an universe that included other books, like ghost rider, doom, etc, by other writers) due to dwindling public interest and mass cancellations. The end of that run is basically meaningless, since the whole thing got retconned - and even before that a guest writer had came in and made mistaken character reveals pdavid wasnt happy with and wanted to erase before the finale. The event book that wrapped up that universe was unironically, literally called -- "2099: Manifest Destiny."

Now, I don't like Peter David's writing. I think he's obsessed with the idea of building harems out of his female characters (when he's not fridging them, or making them act ~crazy~ to further alienate them from the protagonist) and it is the kind of grueling, joyless reading experience I can only describe as making you feel Oily Inside. This goes as far as multiple stalking plotlines, the inclusion of a guest appearance from AU s/x slaver Hulk in later years, Miguel's mother being strongly implied to have been forced into conceiving him by his real dad who's the evil CEO of alchemax, general torture painporn. His broader supporting cast is so interchangeable and disposable that they were literally disposed of.

In terms of the racism; I have mentioned how he uses cultures as tokens and does 0 research whatsoever. The way it feels and the way it is deployed is through a lens of Exoticism - tourism. Miguels suit is allegedly "a dia de los muertos costume" b/c pdavid seems to think that holiday is mexican halloween. In the orig book, you'll see plenty of broken japanese and stereotypical orientalist caricatures - after killing his first love interest, pdavid introduces a japanese girl who is unironically, literally named "Xina" (that pretends to be chinese on occasion) to fill in the vacant role. Miguel himself falls right into all the usual latino stereotypes — short tempered, drug addict, sex magnet "latin lover" (this last one also applied to his brother Gabriel, who for the longest time is characterized by just Going Through A Lot Of Girlfriends). And it's kind of insane bc he's still being drawn as a deeply deeply white man, but not even that takes off the burden of the racial microagressions!!! They're the only times pdavid seems to remember that heritage! Then there's the commemorative hanging page. Since you mention the redheadedness; thats another insane thing to me. He has 0% of irish in him. His dad is Blond. Who is this man?

Most of the info in the 2099 run is either revealed to be a lie midway thru (miguel is not mr o'hara's son, nor addicted to rapture) or completely retconned away to be rewritten in new runs. Different writers have tried to come in and do miguel in other team/event books but frankly nothing stands out and most of them get marked as alternate-miguels. Unfortunately, every time marvel decided to give another shot at spider-man 2099 they also brought pdavid back. The newer books were never a success, and theyre just as filled w/ the garbage i mentioned earlier (wow! Steampunk spider-woman is given to pdavid for *ONE* issue and instantly tonguekisses gabriel before leaving, so novel. More fridging ensues. Stalking. Etc.) 2099 as an *universe* has been retconned so many times Nothing is consistent and Nothing is set on stone and frankly i think they should make it an AU separate from main canon and build a whole new world already.

The art in the 2015 + runs consists mostly of tracing, and more of that oily weird feeling applied to fem chars. Perhaps you have noticed in this entire hate review have never once spoken about Miguel's heroic plots and memorable villains --- he has none. At least nothing I can remember or distinguish. (Interchangeable, disposable, etc) There is a vague inkling of "this is an anti-stabilishment spiderman, he fights against The Public Eye, the Corporation Cops!" at the start but much like his cultural illiteracy pdavid has no real insightful politics commentary, so that dissolves into the background in time. Its all buzzwords. All of his plotlines are solved in circuitous or soap operaish extradrama ways; and while some of this is present in other superhero comics, what stands out to me MOST is how utterly fucking joyless Miguel's comics are. It's like going through a slog on obligation. They genuinely gave me a headache every time.

ATSV does a great job of reinventing Miguel and rebuilding the parts of him that showed real promise. Being a different tone-swapped spiderman, futuristic, being more on the tech-science side of crime fighting. Him being a single dad with a daughter is also new. (And he is single! There is no singular mention of marriage or a wife anywhere, he's a geneticist, multiple spider-men we see in this movie were literal clones made in tubes - i am fond of the idea he's a transmasc dad but even if you think he's cis he could have made that baby himself. Adoption is also always there.) I think its very clear ATSV didn't want to bring any of pdavids major weird shit w fem chars to the big screen on the hopes that miguel gets rebooted eventually. I think he's gay. Nobody can prove me wrong.

On that note, Steve Orlando (queer writer, also wrote for DC's midnighter/apollo) did some of the latest 2022/2023 Miguel miniseries. Another reboot! Those were "2099: Exodus" and "Spider-man 2099: Dark Genesis" - i think its campier/trying to tackle superhero plots more head on and trying to do something wide wacky cast focused at Marvel's personal request, but Miguel's future is very up in the air rn. I do really hope they reboot him into something closer to ATSV with latines at the center soon.

What I always reccomend for people curious abt miguel: read his first 3ish 1992 issues, get a general feel and close the book as soon as you feel annoyed. It won't get better. Remember none of it is canon nor has been relevant in over two decades. If you want to know the wider context of his messy chronology, check out some of the 2099 "all comics" type of youtube videos, theres some pretty easy to digest summarizations if u dont wanna waste ur time reading stuff that just got retconned again lol. Most writers now are operating on vibes and that is a freedom you should also allow yourself in your own fanwork.

Putting his panels out of context can be very funny though. (For further curiosity or tangents, there's always my meta tag)

[neverpathia]

reinterpretation on the voice of the cold.

okay so I was designing vot cold and I had no idea what to put in his design, and then I remembered that I was Chinese (Malaysian and banana but still), so I just put in a bunch of oriental elements in his design as shown below (unfinished)

and then I JUST REALISED

COLD IS ACTUALLY KIND OF LIKE ONE OF US ASIAN KIDS, NO NO NO HEAR ME OUT

if we take Narrator as TLQ's father, which he technically kind of is, then it kind of puts the Spectre route in a new light. analysis under the cut

the Cold listens to his 'father' and does what he's told out of a sense of obligation. unquestioningly. immediately. even if it goes against all morals and all conscience and everything you may hear from outside influences.

the narrator is clearly manipulative. he shames and belittles you when you try to go against his ideals. he's angry and harsh with you when you try to question his teachings, or rather lack thereof. and yet he still expects you to listen and follow his orders. and yet he still expects you to succeed. but when you do follow him, he does try to be kind, like a father would to a son he ought to love.

the narrator is an Asian parent confirmed

the voice of the cold doesn't question it and just follows along. and I know it's probably because he was bored and wanted something to happen.

but what if he followed because it was his duty? and what if he wanted his father to be proud of him for once, for something? what if he finally attained the success his father promised him, for all the work he put in, only to realise it was a lie?

only to realise the glory would wear off and leave something hollow behind. or, to realise that there isn't enough of a person left to bask in that glory, because you've stripped all your humanity away for its sake.

the cold sets aside his humanity for the sake of the task his 'father' sets on him. because it's, according to his 'father', the only thing he is supposed to do. because it's apparently his purpose. because if he doesn't, he is a failure. because he brought him into this world and it's supposed to be who he is.

but after he 'succeeds', what happens next?

perhaps the cold wasn't always cold. perhaps he just forced himself to be cold because he couldn't let himself be otherwise if he wanted to please his 'father'. perhaps he's just disappointed, because he expected so much more. his 'father' was pleased, but was he himself pleased? no, he wasn't. but his 'father' wouldn't listen.

the success means nothing when you've lost who you are. when you dedicate yourself so thoroughly to your job that you forget how to feel.

this also kind of reframes how you loop to Chapter II. like this is going to be kind of dark, but. you're despairing and disappointed. you realise that the person you've looked up to all this time isn't actually as much as you thought he was. and worse still, he doesn't even try to hear you out or listen to you or even treat you as a human being. and you just killed someone and you're probably guilty, but he won't even try to properly comfort you. he'll just say you did your job, and you ought to be proud of it.

it's not going to be the best feeling in the world. so he, yeah. takes the pristine blade. raises it against...

cold my baby when did this happen I feel so sorry for him now what the fuck?

this could also explain why the cold represses his feelings, and why he's just willing to try anything afterwards. because he's lost his sense of self, his purpose in life. the only thing left is boredom and interest. bleak nothingness, against stimulation.

okay cold is growing on me cold is growing on me SO MUCH holy SHIT oh my god oh my god oh my god I love you paranoid I love you broken but????? new favourite voice?????? unless someone in the reblogs finds evidence against everything but shush can I please have headcanons

[city-of-ladies]

Sent to a foreign country as a tribute, Lady Ki (c.1320- after 1369) carved a place for herself and became a powerful empress, the last of the Yuan dynasty.

From maid to imperial consort 

Lady Ki, also known as Öljei Khuduq, was born in Xingzhou, Gaoli (present-day Korea). The Korean state used to send a tribute of women to its neighbor, the Mongol-led Yuan dynasty, who controlled most of modern-day China and its surrounding areas such as present-day Mongolia. 

Lady Ki entered the palace and was assigned to Toghon Temür's service. Described as beautiful and clever, she quickly caught the young emperor’s attention and was elevated to the rank of consort.

The empress Danishiri was hostile to Lady Ki but was executed in 1335 or 1337 for having tried to protect her brother who was involved in a rebellion.

Toghon Temür then tried to name Lady Ki empress, but his decision was met with extreme hostility. Indeed, no Korean woman had held the dignity so far. Most empresses came from the Mongol Khongirad clan. He ultimately relented and chose a Mongol empress: Bayan Khuduq. 

A powerful favorite 

Lady Ki’s position was strengthened when she gave birth to a son, Ayushiridara (future emperor Zhaozong of Northern Yuan, r.1370-1378). Bayan Khuduq's son died young. Having a frugal and effaced personality, the empress was furthermore no match for Lady Ki. Ayushiridara was thus made heir apparent in 1355.

Empress Ki was influential and involved herself in political and military affairs. She for instance protected the high-ranking official Toqto'a but withdrew her support when he opposed the installation of her son as heir apparent. 

She liked to read the Women’s Book of Filial Piety and sought examples of past empresses she could emulate. When a famine struck in 1359, she showed her generosity by having the officials distribute porridge to the hungry, using her own funds to have thousands of corpses buried and hiring monks to perform funeral services. 

Lady Ki used her influence to promote her family’s interests. Her kinsmen in Korea were granted official ranks and titles. They repeatedly abused their power, which led the Korean king to execute Lady Ki’s entire clan. 

When she learned about it, she asked her son to avenge her family and raise a force of 10,000 soldiers. The military campaign was a complete failure and the entire force was routed. 

Empress before the fall

Bayan Khuduq died in 1365. No obstacles stood in Lady Ki’s way and she received the empress’s seal. It seems that she tried to make up for the mistakes of a poorly-performing emperor. Later historians indeed wrote that Toghon Temür preferred focusing on wine and women, though this could be an exaggeration to justify the fall of the Yuan Dynasty. 

The government’s structure was disintegrating. Empress Ki conspired to force the emperor to abdicate and put her son on the throne but failed. She faced little consequences and was simply put under house arrest for 100 days. Her agressive defense of her son’s interests was in keeping with Mongolian political culture, which recognized the influence of strong women. 

The Yuan dynasty fell in 1368 when the armies of the future Ming Emperor Hongwu entered the capital. Empress Ki fled to the north with Toghon Temür. What happened to her afterward is unclear, but she likely died the following year.

Her life was the inspiration for a 2013  Korean television drama, Empress Ki.

Feel free to check out my Ko-Fi if you like what I do! Your support would be much appreciated.

Further reading 

Buell Paul D., Fiaschetti Francesca, Historical Dictionary of the Mongol World Empire

McMahon Keith, Celestial Women: Imperial Wives and Concubines in China from Song to Qing

Robinson David M., Empire's Twilight: Northeast Asia Under the Mongols

Xu Shindan, “Öljei Qudu”, in: Hong Lee Lily Xiao, Wiles Sue (ed.), Biographical Dictionary of Chinese Women, Volume II: Tang Through Ming 618 - 1644

[florsial]

I personally think you should give us MORE Regulus hcs(pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseursosmartpleaseee)

Regulus Black my favorite failed sacrificial lamb

-Starting simple, I see him as Chinese and from Fuzhou. I think he spent more time in Fuzhou with Orion’s parents, Arcturus iii and Melania so he’s more connected and attached to his culture than Sirius (who I feel is more detached because he’s expected to take over the family in an English setting, so his English education was stricter) and the moment Regulus steps into the UK, he just feels homesick most of the time and spends his summers with his grandparents and Sirius (until Sirius runs away)

-He’s always going to be trans to me and I think it’s more so in a way that WE as a viewer know he’s trans but Regulus is more so in denial/oblivious. I think he would find it easier to jsut act but we as the reader/observer can tell what he does not wish to tell.

-Childhood friend with the Rosier twins. They’ve known each other for years. I kinda see them in a QPR. Regulus has only photos of them and no one else. They just get him like no else does.

-He wouldn’t try to become a animagus, I fully believe he would be too paranoid of the cons and possible failures and risk to actually try it. While i sometimes talk about him being one, a two headed lamb, in reality I just don’t think he do it. It’s too risky for him and the chances working are not guaranteed.

-Selfishness is a CRUCIAL part of his character to me. He wants this and this and believes he deserves it because he knows he’s not healthy. It’s his justification for everything. He latches on hard to things he wants and when he lets go everything is covered on blood from his nails.

-Violinist! He plays the violin and other strings instruments. It’s a huge comfort to him.

-Sirius babied him HARD. No comment. He raised Regulus and now Regulus is unhealthily codependent.

-Always shares a half of moon cake with Sirius during Mid Autumn. Once a year a pretty owl with drop half a moon cake to the Gryffindor tables with the inside neatly hollowed because Sirius isn’t a fan of the salted duck yolk.

-Let’s be honest, he’s a classical music listener to the CORE OF HIS BEING

-He invokes a feeling of helplessness within people, no matter how shitty he acts to them. There is just something about him and his glassy eyes that make people pity him. (*cue pretty doe eyes and Barty is immediately agreeing to whatever Regulus wants*)

-I used to hc him as taller than Sirius but I kinda reverted back to canon and made him shorter lol. So yeahhhh, I’m a short Regulus truther now (it’s not even a fanon thing this man is described as being smaller than Sirius) (Sirius wasn’t even in the damn photo and Harry was like “Smaller than Sirius yep”)

[hellobitchlet]

Honestly, I don't find that fighting about whether playing Genshin ftp is boycotting or performative is helpful here. And I feel like us fighting with each other over how to protest 'properly' is just setting us up for failure. I have heard good arguments from both sides of the discourse, and I think that playing ftp and making it clear to Hoyo why and refusing to play completely are both good tactics.

That being said, there are some things that I think we should all be doing, regardless of how you personally want to boycott against/show that you don't support Hoyoverse. So, here are some things that we should all be doing:

-obviously, the biggest one is don't give them money. I shouldn't have to explain why, but just in case, I will say: this doesn't just refer to directly spending money in Genshin. I also mean no official merch or paying them in other games.

-don't talk positively about Hoyoverse or their games. This will probably get me some hate comments for saying it. To clarify, I don't mean that you're not allowed to have positive thoughts about their games! We all have things that we like about Genshin, including me! There are two reasons why;

First, hearing people talk positively about them or their games is basically free advertising, intended or not. The reason why their games are free and has ftp options are likely because, with Genshin especially, their main strategy to getting money is to please as many types of fans as possible. Ftp fans are still useful to them bc they can still make fan content that non-fans will see and be interested in. And the more people who play the game, the more people who will give them money.

Second, the more people keep talking about Hoyo stuff like we have been before, the more racist, sexist, etc. fans and Hoyoverse themselves will be able to keep up the illusion that nothing is wrong. Hell, I have a bunch of posts now and the vast majority of them are negative, yet my 2 most popular posts are some of my few posts that don't have anything negative in them. Trust me, a single post can mean more than you would think.

This point can also be customized to fit how you post. You could only post negative stuff as I do, or just stop posting about it all together. If you already don't post about them, great! If you want to continue making fan content that doesn't have to do with their problems, then maybe you could make a banner you can add to your posts saying that you don't support them. The point is to not have posts that Hoyo or their dickriders would be comfortable with.

-partially related to the last point, and mostly targeting content creators: don't portray characters with the exact same designs as canon! If you're not good at making character designs, that's okay! At the very least, portray characters such as the Sumeru and Natlan cast, some of the Chinese and Japanese characters, Boothill, and Aventurine with darker skin. And don't portray Kaeya, Xinyan, Iansan, Arlan, or Sugilite with gray-ish tones to their skin. I'd say that it's preferable if you did make your own designs that are more diverse, but it's okay if you don't know how. This can also be used as a way to show that you don't support Hoyoverse.