#feels different. idk maybe thats what those places are always like but?? dont remember??

[emergingghost]

i want to try going to punk etc. shows but the only places in my town that do live music give me the creeps a bit. like there are some bars and venues that do local and touring live music and its sort of an 'alt' scene but theyre very drug heavy spaces and i feel ~~unsafe~~ whenever i've been

[badnewswhatsleft]

THANK YOU FOR THE MANIA TEA POSTING like genuinely im so. interested in it i wish to know more…like we know some parts but i need the full picture u feel me

LITERALLY mania tea is fascinating im constantly microwaving it in my mind.... like don't get me wrong i rlly do love mania i will defend it always, but knowing joe was absent from and particularly unhappy with it... it doesn't affect my enjoyment of the album per se, it just always. sits in the back of my mind.

it was pretty obvious that joe was literally effervescent with pride in being more involved for srar. it was very interesting to me to find out llamania demos were likely joe & patrick close collaborations because you can tell joe really valued those sessions. for smfs: "[...] i have been more a part of the process from the ground up than i have been in years. i feel a personal connection to these songs." (p.211). and in that discord q&a "i like collaborating with my band" - like that guy clearly loves working with patrick/his band so much😭🥹

(and idk i have to shoehorn this opinion in llamania is soooooso so so so excellent to me like i promise thats not even joetrick brain speaking because i loved it before i even knew any of this info. like hello musically and LYRICALLY all 4 mins of it is already so good and interesting. im so serious)

so to see what happened with mania is so interesting. im just so stuck on the fact that joe says patrick initially agreed with him on the idea of returning to a more acoustically driven sound!!

like why would there be/who would make that sudden call to scrap everything...??

at about 00:58 in this vid patrick explains that the way it used to work, he and pete work so smoothly together they would produce a bunch of material and then ig the industry machine steamrolls on. from the sounds of it in joe's book as well, i wouldnt be surprised if maybe some version of that had happened again for mania? this is so tragic because all of srar they were so fresh faced adamant that the process would be different this time round lol. lmao even. but then... again: the fact joe says before going into mania, patrick had agreed with him on returning to a "band" sound again in the first place is still very intriguing?!?! which then leads me to think about the following -

there are also these points about mania from the guys that also give me much food for thought.

(source) "it didn’t feel like it was what me or Patrick really wanted to be doing but we both thought that was what the other wanted!" literally what. i dont like to extrapolate from one sentence where i cant even read his tone or body language but. what kind of dysfunction lol

(source) wild post-mania description of mania. everybody fights and everybody's miserable sweeeeep

also sorry for scuffed photos of book pages but the way joe describes it all is.

ummm i don't remember if i had a point to this. mania is literally like "this tea ain't shit" and half an hour later im pacing back and forth muttering to myself with none of this rocks open in my hands sticking book tab stickers on every paragraph. unfortunate album of strange creative frustration and pressure from pop culture and industry trends and joe clocking himself the fuck out of it we love to see it !!!!!

[acaciapines]

hey! for the fic ask game: 3, 5 (for the wolf 359 daemon au), 8, 38 and 42?

3. What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics?

somebody being a least a little bit nonhuman <3 but more broadly i really like writing about human/animal dynamics, both in the nonhuman sense obviously, but also even in my daemon aus--what do humans say about animals? how much is true and how much is just something humans have put onto the animal, rather than what the animal is?

i also think i write a lot about grief, and the ways grief and trauma both can manifest in ways seen as 'unpalatable.' how youre supposed to survive these sorts of things, and how a lot of times the answer is that maybe things dont get better, but they do get different. ie i have a lot of bittersweet endings and i dont think that'll ever change.

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about [insert fic]? Answer it now!

oooh ive always hoped somebody would ask what the hell doug-nix and miranda-alphaeus would get up to after the epilogues, 'cause this never got in there (i dont think at least), but i've always had it in mind that they move out eventually! get a place of their own, which would leave minkowski, hera, jacobi, and sometimes lovelace whenever she stops by living together.

i just feel like. miranda and doug are outsiders to that crew, yeah? neither of them remember the people they once were, so. might as well try making something new and better together.

8. What song would make a great fic (to either write or read)?

this one is particularly topical 'cause a song is actually the inspiration for the current fic i'm writing! grand canyon by the wind and the wave. literally such a frisk and chara song, ALSO a really good roadtrip song, so ive meshed those together and now im working on a post-pacifist chara&frisk centric roadtrip fic! coming out....idk. may probably.

i also think twelve feet deep by the front bottoms could make a real fun onesided dessriel fic. something about 'i get left out of every plan they make / that is what i have to do / to be the only kid from highschool who is still in love with you' REALLY gets to me.

38. Did any of your fics get surprisingly popular (whatever that means to you)? Which ones? Why do you think they were so successful?

i think the one that surprised me the most was garden of earthly delights, which was my madoka magica daemon au. seeing as its been Forever since anything madoka has come out (plus daemon aus are Not popular anymore lol), i didnt know there was still an active fandom there, but there WAS, and all my commenters were amazing and lovely and it was so fun seeing everyone trying to uncover the mystery in real time!!! if i had to guess WHY it got popular, i think i'd guess it was the aspect of mystery...something to keep people coming back and commenting!

42. Have you ever received a comment that particularly stood out to you for whatever reason?

the comments that always stick with me the most are the people who come to tell me that it was my fics (usually either i know im not well or alterhuman) that either helped them feel SEEN as otherkin/therian, or helped them discover that this was a thing they even could be. i think thats been one of the most rewarding things about sharing those stories. theres not a whole lot out there in the ao3 otherkin tag, yknow? and it makes me so happy to know i've been able to help people.

[mokacheer]

hahaha thanks for the mass tag game @ruanbaijie this shall be fun!

aka: nine albums or songs I've been listening to lately x nine people I’d like to get to know better x tag game with no name

1. why did you choose your url? - no idea, my theories are that i was obsessed with rosario + vampire so i took moka, and since moka is cheery/happy i just bam. i honestly don't know 💀

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them. - i used to have a ton because younger me dabbled in the RP world (lets not remember those times but remember the cool people i befriended) but right now no just this blog and the other blog i help run <3 @otomokatsuhiro (if you love old anime youll immediately follow ;) )

3. how long have you been on tumblr? - since may 2012 😵 (save me)

4. do you have a queue tag? - nah

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? - an old friend of mine told me about it and actually made this blog for me. now thinking about it idk if it was her that came up with the name, if i had a different name to begin with... no clue :s

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? - its yuki!!! must i explain why?! (plus it matches my vibe here alot of mutuals say im super sweet or a ray of sunshine ((ily it makes me happy everytime i get that hehe)))

7. why did you choose your header? - it just matches the overall pink cute vibe :p

8. what’s your post with the most notes? - still to this day its a 29 frame gif of a phone ending call... here

9. how many mutuals do you have? - i counted at the beginning of the year and i believe i had 108? but now obviously its 108+ :D

10. how many followers do you have? - 17.2k+ x-x

11. how many people do you follow? - 544! i remember at one point i wanted to keep the number limited but thats so stupid!!

12. have you ever made a shitpost? - uhhhh probably when i was younger. i used to constantly post #personal text posts so idunno

13. how often do you use tumblr each day? - help me

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? - yeah a small amount of times, most would be reposters telling me "no this is my gif i made this! i wont remove this from my blog!" with my watermark clear as day in the corner lol..

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts - meh it's your blog at the end of the day, if you want to reblog something do it, if you dont dont. it's sad to see most people just like posts but they come from different platforms and fail to realize what kind of site tumblr is. hopefully eventually they will get it tho! amen

16. do you like tag games? - yes! i love that i get tagged in them but also forget alot of the time to ever get to doing them so i apologize for being late on this one hehe

17. do you like ask games? - plsssss i love seeing that notification light up in my inbox. it fills this bloggers heart with joy.

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? - oh i got a few @gojosattoru (where have you been ;w; </3), @hanae-ichihara (ill always miss you <3), DEFINITELY @taohs hehehe

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? - nope, having a crush on here has never happened for me :p

20. what is the last song you listened to? - charli xcx speed drive EASYFUN remix, its sooo gud

21. what are you currently watching? - the magical girl and evil lieun. are archenemies, fairy tail 100 years quest, maybe some other misc. stuff i cant think of rn.

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy? - all of the above, i love sweet + spicy

23. what is your current relationship status? - single times *salute emoji*

24. what is your current obsession? - SMILING FRIENDDDSSSS asjdiaoshjdajsid

25. what are nine albums/songs you've been listening to lately? - aprils-bloom by julie areyouhome? by juno britpop by A.G. Cook right back by Frost children i like it by Frost children spring is coming with a strawberry in the mouth by Caroline Polachek magic sword by 4s4ki tome by veltpunch 365 by charli xcx

tagging: @taohs @cute-girls-from-vns-anime-manga @oneechangoddess @yuujies @scary-friend @fuwanek0 and others that wanna have fun

[kirnet]

I love ur analysis of dsom. I read it a couple years ago and got so frustrated thinking "this is the book everyone is raving about??" The magic system and world has such potential but the characters drag it down. I remember a scene where Kell is up in his feelings about his whole. Incredibly fucked up "family situation". And Delilah is essentially like "well at least you HAVE a family". And the narrative seems to frame that interaction as her being cool and edgy and the voice of truth or whatever. And Kell is like. I guess youre right :( ill stop complaining. But the story doesnt grapple with that any further??? Doesnt use that moment to build out either character beyond "Delilah is so cool and also right (and an asshole but thats what makes her cool)" and "Kell's complex feelings about this are now solved/set aside after this clap back". Family is one of the themes of the book but even this scene doesnt really explore the concept in depth. I may be misremembering it but that one scene just summed up for me everything frustrating about the character writing and the way the story uses the characters. Maybe the issue is revisited in later books. I wouldnt know, bc very little about the writing makes me want to read any more.

Yeah!! Yeah!! That scene was… argh, you’re exactly right. The main source of frustration for Lila for me is that the narrative frames her as right almost always and especially in that instance. And like, if I’m willing to engage with it, it is a telling character moment of hypocrisy where Lila is lashing out in grief after losing Baron (?? I dont remember his name) and is displacing all those feelings onto Kell. But the way it’s handled, like you said, makes me assume that no, Schwab didn’t intend for it to be that deep. It’s so frustrating because the world and the characters have so much potential! With a few more drafts and edits this could be a really good book! But as it stands it’s a 400 page book with little to no plot, hardly any interesting character progression or arcs, boring flat fight scenes, and uninteresting prose. The masquerade scene is there bc she thought it sounded cool. The elements are there bc she thought atla is cool. The fake eye is there because she likes bebop. There’s no actual substance. I have read books half the length that have succeeded in all of these places. I’ve heard similar criticisms of her pacing in other books from people who did like darker shade so, idk, it sounds like she needs a better editor honestly.

And like, yeah, maybe this is revisited in later books, maybe her writing gets better, maybe the second book is fantastic. I honestly had a lot of the same criticisms when I read the Founders Trilogy, but the difference there was that i ADORED the characters and the world building. They were so solid that I HAD to continue even if i had some issues with the writing style and pacing. This series has none of that appeal for me. If she had ended it on a cliffhanger, if she had actually set up this world to be as dark and edgy as she thought it was, if Kell had to use his wits as a smuggler to survive in a place far from his family leading him to conclude that yes he does love them, if Lila had to fight to survive trapped in white london and then come to grips with her violent nature and that its not actually a positive, then I would be all over the rest of the series!! Idk, other reviews mentioned that they were disappointed with this after reading some of her other worlds like viscous, so maybe I’ll give that a try when I feel less burned.

[multifandombullshitbabes]

yall remember that post that was abt a vampire trying to seduce an ace person n it didnt rly work cuz they dont feel sexual attraction?

well. it got me thinking. yknow how corinthian is always shown (at least with men) to sleep with them n then maybe take out their eyes? sometimes he just sleeps with them n thats it but they can become his victims.

idk if theres a reason for the ppl he chooses to kill (except for those killed out of convenience n shit like that, the ones we dont see much of in the series) but i'd like to think is because he finds their eyes particularly beautiful, in anyways possible.

so i have this OC, he's ace, and he has the most gorgeous brown eyes ever. like baby cow type of deal. its devastating right? and corinthian thinks so to. so he targets him, tries to seduce him to bed. n then my oc just goes "oh no thank you! i'm ace :) have a nice day, tho, love ur glasses!" and then he goes abt his life thinking nothings wrong ever.

except cori (thats my nickname for corinthian, if it wasnt clear) cant let it go. he loves those eyes, he wants to eat them. he wants to know that man's soul through his eyes n talking to him didnt help at all cuz he sounded so sweet, and its even better when they sound sweet.

so. cori has a stalker phase with this oc of mine (im sorry, i do not have a name. i might have a faceclaim and if yall want yall can choose a name for me but no promises) and while cori just thinks "this is just my next victim its fine", my oc's like "this handsome man is so weird, hes charming tho :)" n then invites cori to a date.

and cori's thinking his won his game of cat n mouse but then the date it at my oc's place, and its nice and warm, and he has the fluffiest brown cat, and theyre making cookies and watching scary movies together. and "suddenly" (we all know whats gonna happen) cori just... wants to postpone. he doesnt feel ready to kill him just yet yknow?.

n then months pass, they are basically dating, and then cori's gone. and my oc doesnt get it n is heartbroken. but um well. papa dream got mad at his son and had to unmake him or whatever so yknow.

to be continued >:)))

(face claim below!!!!!!!)

this is his body type if any of yall r wondering. hes at least a head shorter than cori, cuz im weak for height differences

[insideoreoshack]

11.28.2024

idk how to feel this thanksgiving

i mean the day is almost over but i cant shake the feelings im having. im so thankful for so much but small things with carriema bother me so bad. i dont know how to fix this relationship it shakes me so bad and i just wanna cry because i just feel like a bad sister and bad person whos embarrassed by their sibling and i dont know asking her to change is maybe too much i should just be the one to change to just swallow this behavior snd tolerate it thats what my parents say to do

- its a bit later now and im just so tired of thinking and feeling restless the whole thing kinda disoriented me and just drained me i was supposed to write my paper today and do more homework but i just couldnt. sometimes i hate living here bc it just feels like im constantly living in the past and having to hide myself to appease everyone and i dont know if thats the best call to do before my birthday just hide and be independent like not ask anything from anyone and not do anything and just see what happens its not that different from how i usually behave actually so they may not think anything of it but i just wonder sometimes what it would be like to have my own place fully and not live here anymore if that would snap carriema out of it, its absolutely not feasible but still i wonder. sometimes i wonder how she can live with herself and that behavior, how someone could not want to change and better themselves and just watch the people they want to have relationships with hurt and watch how their behavior hurts them, but maybe she doesnt see it. she wont ever actually see how it effects me because im too stubborn to show her because no one has ever really expressed that they care about me or my feelings on most matters because it always goes back to carriema. how do i go to confide in my mom about this and she ends up defending carriema? how do i want to talk about how i feel and my mom tells me that i have a guilty feeling as im expressing a feeling of abandonment and longing for a real sibling relationship? how does it turn into me needing to talk to carriema after my milestone of a birthday that they probably arent even actually thinking about that hard bc now theres small problems with carriema. sometimes i just feel so isolated here and under appreciated for always wanting to do what i can for my parents but i know she takes advantage of that bc she never does anything to help them or express that she cares. i wanted to get them all something for Christmas but it really will just be like 200 dollars and the cream i usually get on amazon for my mom because fuck it. carriema can get coal they dont even know me to get me a gift they would think i would like, in her eyes im still like 9 years old but ive changed and my parents have too, carriemas the only one who hasnt and doesnt want to get help for it. im tired of broken promises from everyone in this house im just so tired of always being the bad guy because i want to grow and search for the best version of myself. i want to be a good daughter, a good sister, a good girlfriend. sometimes im afraid that im too much because of how expressing my actual thoughts to my family and their reactions they say i always sound so angry but i wonder why someone whos frustrated with what they’ve had to tolerate since they were a preteen would sound angry when their trust has been broken countless times. sometimes i just feel so lost, so stagnant and like i just wish i could run and hide away for days at a time from this house, sometimes from everyone. i genuinely think only harry and lexi would notice lmao but im also afraid of depending on them too much. i remember the days i used to wish i was invisible bc of how i felt at home i dunno how sad it is that those feelings resurface from time to time, its like ima ghost here. they care so much about carriema snd actively worry about her i dont know how to feel that they only constantly express how grateful they sre that they dont have to do that with me. my brain feels so jumbled with the thoughts that im pretty just typing a stream pf consciousness to just try and get it all out. i wish i didnt talk to my mom and say anything i should have left it alone and left her alone to be in ignorant bliss because nothing useful came out of it anyway. i was told to just stay out her away so my birthday can go smooth, i just said deal and goodnight. another blind win for carriema and she wouldnt have a clue how her parents advocate for her, i do one stupid thing and im practically in the doghouse but carriema is a spoiled brat who isnt -

[loveniiadjei]

I was feeling irritated before I logged in...I still am. I paid my rent today. I pay every two weeks. Feels like I can't save up the way I want to. Cause I have to buy food and sometimes I call a ride to get to work. Usually I walk. I alternate between 4 shoes that I own. One was bought for me while in Florida. Two were given to me as a donation from a random stranger that was shopping at my job. The last was given to me by bro. Mickle as a gift. I hope he's doing ok. Sad to hear about his medical condition that happened. I find myself always visiting certain memories all the time....and I know thats probably what causes different emotions to surge through me... I'm not bi polar never knew myself to be. Never took any tests or had to be prescribed medicine of the sort...but the lack of support from my family being that I dont see them or we don't live together is one thing....but I guess im basing that expectation off of when I lived in marietta and seen a fully grown man still living with his mother....if they really are related. No. they are. I believe that. Still I'm upset because before the pandemic...it felt like I was at a peak in my progress in life. Had a car, was living on my own. had someone I was dating. though I made some terrible choices along the way. I think the worst mistake was either putting my heart all the way with Zouwa or leaving Alexis. Honestly fuck all of that. When I was young....not to young but young. The person who had a place in my mind a lot was jasmine lol. She had a lot in common about what we would talk about. But I also think sometimes my mind is just up in the air and the things thats running through it is just out and about for people to see. Starting to hate the internet. No homage to childish Gambino.

I'm also thinking about getting a necklace again. But the truth is that I want to save. I just dont know what I'm saving towards. and if by chance something was to put me in jail again. I think I would be in there for good. and I dont want to be there. I really dont. but why do I feel so like im in a seesaw state all the time. just constantly happy and angry. its like those are the only emotions im feeling most of the time. Rarely get sad anymore...I guess my heart isn't the same. feeling like my life is being pulled by the strings and my choices are inspired by my past. Is that wisdom or is that over stimulation? I dont know. Something that I would like to know tho is does sex change the structure of our emotions and our ability to connect. Because the times that I have had sex in this life I gradually feel like quitting...and idk if thats love or if thats just my mindset on something thats supposed to be Given to us by god.

I should be grateful though. Last year I moved to Florida off of Corey's suggestion that I can stay with him and he'll help me get back on my feet since I lost a lot of my documentation to work...now I'm back in Georgia through terry's help and I'm living in a TP after moving from that house that I was staying in with my mom and dad. I mean I have my neccessities... a roof over my head....a bed... water...fire...I've got a few clothes on my back. But it feels like im living in a world thats just not one I'm supposed to be in.

Like I haven't been to Ghana in a really long time....and I blame myself for that....but I also have a lot of animosity towards my dad over the things I remember over the years or my childhood. IDK. maybe I dont know to much about him and its best that it stays that way. But there is something or someone in my life that I feel doesn't bring me energy but only irritability. Maybe I should accept that somethings about myself I won't be able to change, but I do hope that I can let some people in my life go from my mind. Because the more I spend each year doing things that goes against how I was raised I/e celebrating my birthday or not reading...I'm finding myself just going along with the energy that I'm picking up from being nervous around others just because of how I am in private....and Its making me feel weak. Weak enough to the point that I May fail in just trying to be happy and in a family. not really family but being strong and having a better heart. IDK

Take Care

[just-some-random-blogger]

meowmeow, sweety! 'you gave yourself away' you dont think these were accidents, dont you?) im glad to be here too. a little uncomfy though bc i still feel like im scamming your subs TT bc usually just some people who just send messages r anons and those who have at least ups r some bloggers. but alright. pathetic man evil meow meow TT yeah we love him. 'i’ll even distort reality if i have to' tbh sounds like a good fic idea for me... 'its more of a compliment to viserys' yk i also was confused when vissy called daemon 'son'. i was WTF. bc while its understandable why daemon acts like that, why vissy acts like this?? esp if the difference between them is 4 years (idk but you said 'too' so ig so?)? at first i even thought maybe its a twisted dream of daemon TT 'everyone deserves love even stinky daemon' FUCK GHDKFHFJ i meant to write he thinks he does NOT deserve love (thats why neither from wife nor). HGJDF my sleepy mind just read the previous not as the negative and was like in english they dont say that so no. so silly TT like daemon seeks hes brother approval (thought he gives it to him in a way), he insists that his WIFE hates him (though she still took a ring and made wedding promises), he REEKS of insecurities abt not deserving love. 'FOR YOU FOR NOTICING' dont forget i passed an exam where you dont have right answers you just analyse the texts and write 5 essays. i notice too much. not always write abt it (bc ive been writing these 2 replies for 3? hours or so) but always notice. 'even tho ur siblingless' im siblingless but not eyeless? mindless? 5 essays girl. 'DONT APOLOGIZE' i remember how you enjoyed my first expressive reply so im sorry i cant give you these emotions anymore( 'a very specific reason i added it in the first place' 😶 TUMBLR DONT LET ME PUT THIS STUNNED EMOJI WITH THE HAND BUT NO BLUSH. nvm. will the dragons' skeletons regain muscles and soft tissues and become real or will oberyn martell come to life out of his coat? 'ITS A FANFIC BUT ITS NOT' HAJSJD catmom youre so mean. AND how come you promise to watch tlou but dont watch doctor who😡 youre so cruel and dont like me and matt smith and good plot and twisted timelines. 'something so deeply intimate' yeah absolutely understand. i nave a specific form of my name which can make me literally cry when called. 'he would 100% make a shrine for her and worship the ground she walks on' he better make it up for her for waiting for 2000 years for him. 'NOW I WANNA WRITE SOME AEMOND FICS' NOT hinting on that idea with the hades and persephone, no, ABSOLUTELY NOT😶 are these 2 kitties aemond and aegon while investigating? gsdjmlsk 'HELP ME THAT WAS SO BEAUTIFULLY AND BREIFLY PUT' ooh thanks. hope its a compliment. also. ive just thought. i can see daemons horniness as not so real desire to have sex with he reader but to feel her closer and get some familiar and more tangible confirmation of their love, bond and her not going away. makes sense. 'to be super tender and sweet and full of love' YES! big brains think the same! absolutely yes! in this case its essential! although all dominant daemon is hot, i can imagine him being subby more often than anyone wants to agree and also so pretty. SORRY i got distracted. i can see him as the type to just kiss readers shoulder/neck/arm/any bare skin he can see whenever he can to just feel her and confirm that shes with him, not leaving him, not always sexually. 'if you dont feel comfy reading smut if i do write it just skip it' 1) thanks for caring abt me🥺 2) i reblogged frost bite... girl... 'I 100% MEANT' OMG TT no but imagine him calling reader 'my queen' in a hushed voice during the wedding night and in high valyrian bc its still a treason but shes HIS Majestic Eternal Wife. i really wanted to make it short but got carried away so pt 2 again. sorry TT

idk what his cat is doing so silly HAHHAH

HELLLOOOOOOO

meowmeow, sweety! 'you gave yourself away' you dont think these were accidents, dont you?)

well i just thought 'oh well i know who she is now'

im glad to be here too.

a little uncomfy though bc i still feel like im scamming your subs TT bc usually just some people who just send messages r anons and those who have at least ups r some bloggers. but alright.

scamming my subs? first of all what? subs? is this youtube? i- no one is being scammed ??? you can send me as many messages as you want. also 'at least ups r some bloggers' i dont know what you mean T_T

pathetic man evil meow meow TT yeah we love him.

HAHAH

'i’ll even distort reality if i have to' tbh sounds like a good fic idea for me...

/: i mean its what happening to THIS fic so HAHAH

'its more of a compliment to viserys' yk i also was confused when vissy called daemon 'son'. i was WTF. bc while its understandable why daemon acts like that, why vissy acts like this?? esp if the difference between them is 4 years (idk but you said 'too' so ig so?)? at first i even thought maybe its a twisted dream of daemon TT

no T_T it wasn't viserys calling him son wasn't him trying to say 'oh im older than you and this is our dynamic, father and child' it was more like, he froze because daemon thinks he's their dad and so he's just pretending to be who daemon thinks he is so that #1, he'll get the closure he wants in this moment, #2 he'll listen to what he'll say, #3 it's easier to go with it rather than tryna explain smth to a drunk man. i guess that part wasnt very clear. i thought people might confuse his intention there and i was right T_T it be like that its ok it was too next level and i knew it

'everyone deserves love even stinky daemon' FUCK GHDKFHFJ i meant to write he thinks he does NOT deserve love (thats why neither from wife nor). HGJDF my sleepy mind just read the previous not as the negative and was like in english they dont say that so no.

ah i see HAHAHA that makes more sense AHAHAAHHA he is looking for love everywhere T_T its ok ur sleepy mind mind needed sleep sleep

so silly TT like daemon seeks hes brother approval (thought he gives it to him in a way), he insists that his WIFE hates him (though she still took a ring and made wedding promises), he REEKS of insecurities abt not deserving love.

HE DOES HES A PATHETIC LIL WET CAT WHOS SO INSECURE WITH HIS DADDY ISSUES

'FOR YOU FOR NOTICING' dont forget i passed an exam where you dont have right answers you just analyse the texts and write 5 essays. i notice too much. not always write abt it (bc ive been writing these 2 replies for 3? hours or so) but always notice.

T_T HELP THE EFFORT YOU TOOK FOR ME I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THANK YOU SO MUCH MY LOVE MY HEART MY SOUL

'even tho ur siblingless' im siblingless but not eyeless? mindless? 5 essays girl.

HAHHAHAHAHA OK HAHAHHAHAHAHA

'DONT APOLOGIZE' i remember how you enjoyed my first expressive reply so im sorry i cant give you these emotions anymore

T_T im touched you remember. im just glad to get anything you are willing to give my love <3

( 'a very specific reason i added it in the first place' 😶 TUMBLR DONT LET ME PUT THIS STUNNED EMOJI WITH THE HAND BUT NO BLUSH. nvm. will the dragons' skeletons regain muscles and soft tissues and become real or will oberyn martell come to life out of his coat?

HELP ??? WHAT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH no no it's nothing like that... or is it HAAHH

'ITS A FANFIC BUT ITS NOT' HAJSJD catmom youre so mean.

HAHAHAHAH its what she deserves for making get into pedro pascal

AND how come you promise to watch tlou but dont watch doctor who😡 youre so cruel and dont like me and matt smith and good plot and twisted timelines.

T_T i only agreed to watch 1 episode. ive watched 3 episodes for doctor who! i love you and i also🤢love🤢matt smith but taking on doctor who is so much more daunting than that zombie flic. and again i'll only watch 1 ep. if its tHAT good then i'll watch more

'something so deeply intimate' yeah absolutely understand. i nave a specific form of my name which can make me literally cry when called.

see 😩

'he would 100% make a shrine for her and worship the ground she walks on' he better make it up for her for waiting for 2000 years for him.

ASHFHE:LFHEF ??? BUT THAT WASNT HIS FAULT T_T H:ASFHLAKSHFKALSFH AFHASLFHALSFHAFH SO MEAN TO DAEMON AND FOR WHAT HAHAHHAH DESERVE

'NOW I WANNA WRITE SOME AEMOND FICS' NOT hinting on that idea with the hades and persephone, no, ABSOLUTELY NOT😶

omg i forgot about that!! we'll see. i have some aemonf reqs collecting dust in my queue so lol HAD:HASDAS i might do those first

are these 2 kitties aemond and aegon while investigating? gsdjmlsk

SFDHKAFHAFHASF OMG MAYBE HAHAHAHAH CUTIES

'HELP ME THAT WAS SO BEAUTIFULLY AND BREIFLY PUT' ooh thanks. hope its a compliment.

IT IS A COMPLIMENT IT IS A COMPLIMENT I LOVE THE IMAGREY YOU MADE FOR EVERYTHING T_T UGH I THINK YES I THINK SERVING I THINK SLAY

also. ive just thought. i can see daemons horniness as not so real desire to have sex with he reader but to feel her closer and get some familiar and more tangible confirmation of their love, bond and her not going away. makes sense.

youre SO SO SOSO RIGHT HES SUCH A SIMP AND PATHETIC AND STUPID AND I LOVE THAT IN A MAN

'to be super tender and sweet and full of love' YES! big brains think the same! absolutely yes! in this case its essential! although all dominant daemon is hot, i can imagine him being subby more often than anyone wants to agree and also so pretty.

;KDFGHLKHG;LKDHSGDK YUM YUM I LOVE THAT SO MUCH ;SAHGF;LHASD;FHAS;LDKFHADS;LKFHASD;KLFGHDAS;FLKGHASDF;GADFL;KJASDGF;KJSDAGF;KSDAJFGSAD;KFJD NOT ME WANTING TO SKIP EVERYTHING AND JUST WRITE THAT SKDF;SKFG;SKFGKFGSDKFFK;GF;SAFG;SADKFGAS;FGSADF;

SORRY i got distracted. i can see him as the type to just kiss readers shoulder/neck/arm/any bare skin he can see whenever he can to just feel her and confirm that shes with him, not leaving him, not always sexually.

YOU AND ME BOTH JUST THIS ^^^^^ THIS EVERYTHING THIS^^^^

'if you dont feel comfy reading smut if i do write it just skip it' 1) thanks for caring abt me🥺 2) i reblogged frost bite... girl...

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH IM LAUGHING SO HARD OK AHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH

'I 100% MEANT' OMG TT no but imagine him calling reader 'my queen' in a hushed voice during the wedding night and in high valyrian bc its still a treason but shes HIS Majestic Eternal Wife.

;SKLFH;SDHFSDHHAHD;AHSDAHDADASDH WHAT DO YOU MEAN IN A HUSHED VOICE MANS ABOUT TO SAY MY QUEEN IN HIS VOWS ON MIC WITH THE SPEAKERS ON MAX IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE WORLD FUCK TREASON HE LOVES AEMMA SO MUCH AND WOULD KILL FOR HER BUT YN IS

HIS QUEEN

AND AINT NO ONE ABOUT TO GET IT TWISTED HE WOULD COMMIT THE MOST UNHOLY OF CRIMES FOR HER AND THATS ON PERIOD

i really wanted to make it short but got carried away so pt 2 again. sorry TT

DONT EVEN APOLOGIZE IM HAVING SO MUCH FUN but i do have to finish my homework and do laundry so i might read your other messages later

xxx

i love you thank you so much for this response. i hope you are doing well

[goatpaste]

tell me more about your hatred for sbr <- also hated sbr

ok i just awnser a BIG chunk of what i hated in that last ask, which is mostly surrounding the circumstances of the shit poor writing of lucy's whole character story line

but im like!! i really think the general plot was neat and fun! i like parts of it a lot! the main cast are GREAT the setting is FUN i like the set up!! i like their goals and stories!!

but then when they start digging into lucy's stuff in kansas city its just like.. man this kinda fuckin sucks!

theres some neat fun chapters here and there still ofc! i really love the sugar mountain arc it was SO good. i loved johnny and gyro way more than i thought i was initially and that was one of my favirotes in terms of a narrative i wish they told about like. OUGH

ALMOST ALL of them are chasing after this stupid magic corpse for different grand reasons to fix their lives. a magical cure

Johnny to fix his legs, diego to never be looked down on again and HP to make up for her sins

their all obsessed with this and cant focus on anything else

and the end of the sugar mountain arc was SO good with the "heres to having nothing"

This a group of people fixated on some grand goal thats just always out of their reach. never realizing their are connection to people right there with them that MEAN something.

i just think some places SBR has some story character narrative and other it just falls very very flat

then when it came to the end of it, everyone got such CHEAP deaths. Diegos was close to being something, but even then he dies and they cut away to Johnny and Gyro going, woooahh thats crazy.... anyways

AND HOT PANTS GOD DONT GET ME STARTED ON MY FEELING ABOUT HOT PANTS AND ESPECIALLY HOT PANTS AND HER DYNAMIC WITH DIEGO BECAUSE THATS JUST A WHOLE OTHER TOPIC THAT DRIVES ME CRAZY

BUT IT SUCKS you watch hot pant begin to crumble in on herself as she realizes she will never truly be absolved of her past and now is willing to die to do something good for the world. then just dies in a manner that if you blink you'll miss it. the amount of ppl iv seen say they didnt even relize Hot Pants died in the scene she died in? INSANE

Then the finale was like, fine. it was fine. it felt very much like the p5 ending in some ways, but if it has a lil more narrative and connections between characters or whatever?

we get a decent end scene from gyro before he goes.

THEN WE GET HIS GOLDEN SPIRIT LEAVING HIS BODY AND ITS TWO PAGES WERE HE BASICALLY GOES "take it sleezy :-)"

then goes away why johnnys on the ground spiraling

LIKE IT KINDA RUINS THE MOMENT LOL

AND THIS FINALE IS FINE OR WHATEVER

THEN THEY INTRODUCE THE ALT DIEGO FINAL ARC AND I REMEMBER JUST BEING LIKE

HOW MUCH MORE COULD THERE POSSIBLY BE TO SAY. HOW IS THERE MORE STORY

because let me tell you, i LOVE diego but those chapters made me wish diego was still fucking gone. alt diego SUCKED those chapters SUCKED there was literally no point to them

the scene with Johnnys dad reads like a "and then everyone clapped" kinda shit

and i think the ONLY reason they even did that fucking shit was to set up shit with the corpse and diego.. LIKE MAYBE IM READING TOO MUCH INTO IT, havent read jjl... but like IDK im like... you have a magic corpse and a dying diego in this room and put it into a special box to keep the corpse like a coffin.. set to stay sealed for 80 years... ok.. not gonna think about that and the potential for this diego i dont even like diego to return later or something. IDK I MIGHT BE CRAZY READING INTO IT. but the parallels to it and dio from pb and erina and everything is like... ok...

but it was duMB ALSO

the whole page about johnny going to Gyros home land jUST for his family to not even be there anymore. then be like, and that grand quest gyro was working on this whole time for that boy? well that boy was set free! gyros life and dedication to his choices payed off!!.................

then that boy died of a cold or some shit a few years later

WHAT IS THE POINT OF TELLING ME THAT

those last chapters was a wait of all of our time

[sxfik]

I have an idea!

Ok so we all know that Hanseo is abused by his big brother, and if i remember correctly, the jipuragi trio found out about it from the guillotine file for the first time.

Now hear me out, what if the jipuragi trio found out about the abuse from Hanseo himself, not from the guillotine file??

After failing to burn down geumga plaza, Hanseok threw that object at Hanseo, telling him not to dodge it, and it left a scar on his forehead. When Hanseo visited jipuragi, he seemed proud of that scar, right?? Because thats what he got from saving geumga plaza, and he hoped that the scar would show them that he wants to be on their side.

BUT lets forget about all those stuff for a moment.

Hanseok loves to strangle, threaten, and hit Hanseo with the hockey stick. It certainly happens more than once, so i figured that there must be a bunch of scars and bruises on his body right?? What if the jipuragi trio noticed one of his scars/bruises?? I know Hanseo always wear long-sleeved stuff, so its not exactly visible, but what if someone caught a glimpse of it??? Perhaps the scar/bruise was on his arm???

Maybe when Hanseo visits jipuragi, Vincenzo asks him to wash some coffee mugs, and as Hanseo is rolling up his sleeves...

"yo whats that on your arm??"

And maybe Hanseo is like "thats a bruise..? Do you not know what a bruise is??"

Okay, idk. I have no idea how he's gonna react if that happens. I just feel like Hanseo wouldnt be proud of his scars if he didnt get them from trying to save geumga/jipuragi people.

And now im just wondering, what do you think? How would Hanseo react, in your opinion? If the jipuragi trio really did find out about the abuse from Hanseo himself, how would that affect their relationship? Im really curious about what you think

Hhhhhhhh sorry if its too long. I just thought that this might be a good way for Hanseo and jipuragi to kinda get closer with each other...

han seo headcanons (part one)

helloooo, thank you for sending an ask in :D

SORRY this answer is super long and for some reason my phone isn't allowing me to add a keep reading cut thingy, apologies in advance to the amount scrolling you have to do

tw: abuse

i've been thinking so much about this ask and just how han-seo would react to them finding out, and honestly i never really took note of how many long sleeved shirts he wears. i believe han-seok has switched a lot more into emotional manipulation and abuse than physical abuse but he has a lot of anger issues. i'd honestly imagine him using han seo as a punching bag for any and every inconvinence that happens to him, even as an intern.

i also agree with you, han seo is someone who is a very bright personality who tends to hide his hurt and emotions, and he's very very good at it as he has been living under a psychopath his whole life. he's good at hiding his anger (although it definetly bubbles over in smaller outbursts) and especially his hurt (i.e. the scene that han seok throws that candle holder at him and he just smiles back). han seo has a lot of anger at himself for not speaking back or being able to act like himself. like in that scene in the office, you can tell as he curls his fist that he wanted to speak back so badly. even when he finally snaps against han seok, he said "i'm getting tired of being afraid of you." i feel like he'd be embarrassed that even after years, he hasn't been able to escape his abuse

next>

(you can also read the following on ao3)

i feel like this scene and their dynamic would play out something similar to this:

han seo joined the team and has been working with vincenzo and cha-young for around a month. at this point han seo isn't walking on eggshells with both of them, he's a lot more comfortable and visiting their office regularly without choi/han/han seok finding out.

sometimes it's vincenzo and cha-young providing him books to study economics from, maybe even giving some brotherly/sisterly advice to him. every couple weeks, vin and cha-young give him quizzes and slowly, he's getting better and better

over time, he even got closer to the plaza residents (even though the residents were definetly cold to him in the beginning, miri scaring the shit out of him by doing her ghost thing, the lady with the lipstick from bye bye balloon staring him down, snack bar lady refusing to serve him, larry also scaring the shit out of him by doing his zombie routine)

but despite this, they adopt him into their family, han seo doing small errands for the residents, him buying the best coffee, food and getting camera equipment for the snack bar lady's son. han seo gifting the pawnshop couple with cute baby items etc.

(obviously he buys the most expensive shit bc he's still a rich boy, but they dont have to know)

(side note: he'd be fucking adorable with a baby, imagine him being the babies "uncle han seo" who gets them the best gifts !!)

even though he was comfortable with all of them, every once in a while his facade would slip.

every once in a while, someone would make a sharp movement towards him and he'd flinch. or if someone makes a quick step towards him, he'd back up and stiffen up on instinct

even if it was someone patting his back or just making a quick movement, he'd react on instinct from the years of abuse from han seok. but no one ever said anything about it if they noticed.

one afternoon after lunch, they were washing dishes, han seo on washing duty and cha-young drying and placing them back. and han seo was in his full sleeves and cha-young notices his sleeves getting wet

"yah, roll your sleeves back, by the end of this your whole sleeve will be wet! you know how uncomfortable those sleeves would be?"

"ahaha, it's alright noona, i'll be fine"

han seo tries to laugh it off, grining at her with one of his wide grins but there's something off about this one. but cha-young gives one of her patented glares and he rolls them up carefully, shielding his arms from her view, and continues washing the rest.

cha-young doesn't take note of his bruises at first, but noted the care he went through to shield his arms from her. his arms were posed almost awkwardly and he was on high alert

it wasn't until after they both finished and he was drying his hands that cha-young saw the massive bruises he had, climbing up his forearms and under the sleeves

he stiffens when he sees her stare, and quickly tries to cover them but she grabs them before he could hide it

she's completely quiet while she stares at his arms. after a moment, he speaks up

"oh i accidentally banged these against my doorway, they're just small bruises. it's go away in a couple days" he smiles at her again but she could tell from the way his shoulders were frozen and the wavering of his voice that it wasn't the truth

"did he do these?" she asked him, her face completely neutral and her voice barely a whisper. she's still looking at his forearms, her fingers ghosting over the bruises.

han seo just looks down and the silence is enough of an answer for cha-young. he walks away, embarrassed that she found out about it, even though his years of therapy told him that it wasn't never his fault, he still felt the shame and anger of not being able to break free.

he's quiet for the rest of the time, feigning tiredness and finding an excuse to leave the plaza

that night, it was just vincenzo and her working at the office late, in preparation for babel. cha-young's mind was still on what she saw that afternoon. abruptly, she stands up, her hand gripping the pen in her hand as she turned to vincenzo sitting at the other desk.

"did you know that bastard hurt him? he's been abusing han seo this whole time?" she asked vincenzo, her voice seething with anger

"i know."

"you know??? why didn't you ever say anything?"

vincenzo looks up at her from his stack of papers, setting his pen down.

"it wasn't my place. i picked up on it when he flinched when mr. tak reached toward him to place a hand on his shoulder."

cha-young sat back down then, her lips pressed together, and vin went back to his paperwork

"we should get him out of there. who knows what han seok would do in one of his rages?"

"couple nights ago, we went to drink makgeolli and i offered him a way out. i told him if he ever needs to leave, and if he's ready to leave, he has a place at the plaza."

"and is he? leaving that is?"

"no. he thanked me, but said that he needed to stay until his brother and his group crumbles to the ground."

cha-young let out a sigh, biting her lip, the worry on her face all too evident

"hong cha-young byeonosa-nim, we shouldn't baby him. jang han seo deserves revenge against his brother just like we do and the choice is ultimately up to him."

"i know. i just worry."

they stayed quiet for the rest of the night, working late but the topic never leaves cha-young or vincenzo's minds

the next day, han seo avoided her like the plague, not wanting to talk about what she saw yesterday

but while he was studying, she approached him, a glass of juice and a snack in hand, setting it next to him. she checked over his work quietly as he took a break and glanced at his arms, doing a once over just to make sure he didn't get any new ones.

"well done, han seo, you're doing well" she smiled at him and ruffled his hair and han seo let out a breath of relief and gratefulness that she hadn't treated him any different

from then, cha-young and vin only got fonder of han seo and han seo was pretty much adopted by them. after the battle and han seok is in jail permanently, he moves out of his apartment, and gets one closer to the plaza.

mr. nam would show him how the organization worked at jipuragi and put him to work, the paralegal grateful to have an extra hand around the office

eventually, even han seo grows an affection to the instant coffee and buys more for himself and his apartment

vin would take him shopping for suits, both rich boys obsessed with their sleek looks. they take cha-young with them once but she manages to sleep off at every shop they go to.

vincenzo also plays hockey with him regularly and the plaza invites him to plaza game nights. they get up to all kinds of mischief,

han seo loves spicy food, just like cha-young so they make it their mission to go to try every restaurant and compete to see just how much spice they can handle. obviously vincenzo doesn't even make it past the first round of the spice competitions but cha-young and han seo have the same competitive streak that keeps them going

han seo is also dropping hints to both of cha-young and vincenzo that they should get married. constantly teasing vincenzo about cha-young in the way only younger brothers do

obviously on one of cha-young and han seo’s days out, han seo drops hints CONSTANTLY, trying to get her to admit cha young likes vincenzo

and OBVIOUSLY she slips up, and han seo doesn’t let go of it

he does the whole younger brother teasing every single time he catches cha-young glancing at vincenzo at the firm

“cha-young noona and vin hyung, sitting in a tree. K I S S I N—” “HAN SEO!!!”

obviously chayenzo eventually get together but decide to keep it a secret (and of course, they were awful at it)

eventually when they reveal it to the office, mr. nam and han seo react like that one scene in suspicious partner (“quick, act surprised” “*gasp* you guys are together??????? we had no idea!!”)

han seo is basically adopted as a younger brother to both cha-young and vincenzo and even the plaza loves his presence and he gets to have a peaceful existence for the rest of his life

anyways han seo deserves a happy ending with a good family. he deserves a second chance with a family that LOVES AND CARES FOR HIM AND GIVES HIM CHOICES AND ALLOWS HIM TO BE HIMSELF. (and yes this covered more than just one scene but I HAVE MANY THOUGHTS ON HIM) as always feel free to add on :D

[daaziscoolbesties]

minecraft endermen are really weird. theyre unnatural and make me feel off.

when i was a small child like seven years ago i would always play minecraft on creative mode and i made an ugly ass enderman "farm" made out of bricks. i had an enderman spawn egg and id just spam it and the enderman couldnt get out (so i thought). anyways having them in this enclosure was probably so i could feel "powerful" over them because to date theyre still the only mob in minecraft that makes me anxious. even above skeletons(which i used to have a horrible fear of (the real life ones not mc ones)) and spiders (which i still have a horrible fear of (again the real life ones not mc)). anyways the endermen just ended up completely teleporting out of the farm and i checked on my world the next day and they were all gone and i didnt appreciate it (this was the same world where my brother blew up my pets but thats a different story).

anyways back to endermen. besides the fact that i just didnt like dying and i did like building ugly structures, one of the main reasons i didnt play survival much for a while, or if i did id put it on peaceful, was because of the enderman. every time i passed one my heart would drop and if i happened to look it in the eye on accident my throat would feel like its closing up and idk why. if it sounds like im bullshitting you or not remembering correctly i swear im not because it still happens actually.

i play survival a ton more now simply because i enjoy it more, it feels like theres actually a goal to achieve, but i never really make efforts toward said goal(ya know, beating the dragon). none of my worlds are really created with the intention of beating the dragon, and therefore i dont have to worry about endermen. if i happen to be outside my house and theres one there, no worries i just wait for it to go away. it may spook me for a sec but im fine.

but recently me and my sister started a world with the sole purpose of beating the dragon. we may have cheated a little (like putting on keep inventory cause honestly we both suck at pvp and have died so many times) but its okay cause thats it. we still have to fight endermen to get pearls for the end portal. and so we were hanging out in the nether and made a little two block tall hidey hole and id stand by the front and taunt endermen to get them to come close so i could kill them without them being able to get to me and it worked really well actually. except for the fact that to get them to come near i had to get them to aggro onto me and to do that i have to look them in the eye and you know where this is going. and so i was like "it has been so long since i looked an enderman in the eye surely i cant still be scared of them" and i turn to my sister like "<sister> you stay in the hole ill get us some pearls"

so i go out and taunt the dudes and guess what bitch got the pit in their stomach from these fuckers!! thats right bestie and my throat started to close up and i started talking to my sister again but i could tell me voice was off from it and i dont know why it happens but it pisses me off. like theyre not even scary looking theyre just a bit odd. and i continue to do this and kill the endermen and it just. doesnt. stop. my throat keeps closing up and im not "in pain" or anything just inconvenienced like what the fuck dude its a bunch of fucking pixels. i dont know its weird.

and now this part is gonna sound super fuckin stupid but ever since i started watching dsmp i immediately got attached to ranboo (cc! and c!) and knowing that c!ranboo was half enderman made me really think "hm endermen arent that bad. granted i havent interacted with one in a while but still not that bad. perhaps my favorite hostile mob" because you know people get attached to characters and think dumb things. and then again ranboo's character straight up existing and also this one specific headcanon i saw that was like "endermen use telepathy to talk so when a player looks at them all their thoughts get projected into them and it hurts their brain :((" makes me feel kinda bad for aggro-ing them and killing them again even though its literally just some pixels dude. my brain is not kind to me about this stuff and its really dumb.

i dont know what about the endermen staring back at me sets off the sort of fight-or-flight that makes me unable to breathe for a second but its something. its not the fact that their jaws basically unhinge when theyre mad because the throat closing up sensation happens before that. it happens when i look at an enderman and it looks back up at me and holds my gaze. i dont know. i dont know why im worked up(even slightly) over a video game. theyre still my favorite hostile mob i think (not just because of ranboo honestly the other hostile mobs just kinda suck).

and also i like the idea of how humanoid they are. not human. humanoid. they have the basic aspects of a minecraft human- square, head, torso, legs, arms, eyes. most mc skins dont even have mouths anyways just eyes. but the endermen have these features differently than us. their eyes are unnatural, legs and arms too long, body all one color, one that can blend in, and you can only see its purple eyes staring you down from a distance. theyre basically just cryptids.

despite skeletons and even zombies looking closer to the player than the endermen, they still seem the most human-like of all of the mobs. they arent aggressive unless provoked. they dont like eye contact(socially awkward). they like picking up stuff and moving it around. theyre curious (i cant explain this one they just are, okay?). even the sounds they make are just phrases like "hey" "hello" "whats up" distorted and in reverse.

i want to know more about them.

i want to know where they came from.

why theyre found in every dimension.

why they sound like us.

i want explanations, i want to know why they scare us.

i want to know if they know.

if they know that we're like them in some way.

that some of us dont mean harm, but for others thats all they want to do to the endermen.

i saw a post once that said "what taught humans to be wary of things that look human, but arent?" i believe the phenomenon is called uncanny valley. what if in the minecraft universe, the thing that taught us that was endermen. or rather, the thing that taught the endermen that was us? because again, the endermen pose no threat to us unless theyre provoked. by one of us. the endermen try to communicate with us- "⊑⟒⊬" "⍙⊑⏃⏁⌇ ⎍⌿?"- but we kill them without reason. thats why they dont like eye contact, its been ingrained in them through evolution that eye contact with a human/player will end in death, and they dont want it to be theirs, so they attack first.

we- or rather, the first minecrafters, maybe (in the lore(?)) people before the game, taught the endermen to fear us. i mean we literally kill them, use their remains to enter their home dimension, and then kill their leader/mother. they do their best to stop us, but we can respawn and they cant. and then, some people even go as far as to make farms, having them all spawn in one place, crowded, cant teleport out- their only defense mechanism gone- and then are slaughtered for their pearls. and due to the mass of these farms there will be chests upon chests full of pearls that no one's using, i saw someone the other day ask what people do with them and someone straight up said they just burn them like god what a waste.

"but izzy, players make mob farms all the time and not just for endermen!!!1!!11! why are the endermen ones so bad why are you only talking about those1!1!1!!!1" 1) because i can, 2) this is an endermen-themed post, and 3) i dont like the other mobs. and of course im not actually mad at the players who like beating the game and making endermen farms and such, i mean thats what it is its all just a game just a bunch of code, 0's and 1's, so why does it matter why bother writing a whole post on it?

because when you look paste the game, when you read in between those ones and zeroes and discover this non-intentional lore, it can make things so much more,, interesting. this is fanfic material. hell, its probably fanart material too. its all for the content to see what the community can create i guess. or maybe i just really like talking about endermen and this has been on my mind for two days now and once i started typing i couldnt stop.

but yeah, thats my final thoughts.

we, humans, experience uncanny valley about the endermen.

but the endermen experience uncanny valley about the players.

[darlington-v]

oh my god

enderboo really is just fucking ranboo. oh my god moss's ask made me want to work more on that drabble, and i started writing it differently than the way i had written him before because i had envisioned enderboo as obviously more alert and aware because i thought for a while that he had all his memories before it was confirmed.

however the issue i had was imagining how this transition would work and what causes him to forget and how the switch happens.

and maybe i'm late to the party, because i've always known it shouldn't be a solid switch but i didn't know how exactly???

however i don't think its a sudden shift!!!

i think ranboo doesn't like SUDDENLY get all his memories back and knows he has shifted states

i think they may just???? creep in?? which is why the "enderwalk state" has tried to put in safe guards for himself, because he knows he's forgetting shit because he can remember the actions he's made and his line of thinking.

but the issue is that when he forgets... he forgets!! he didn't know he put those safeguards in place.

IDK

I FEEL LIKE WHEN I SAY THIS LIKE. IT SOUNDS LIKE OH YEAH SHOULDN'T YOU HAVE ALREADY KNOWN THAT

AND I PROBABLY SHOULD

BUT LIKE.... UNDERSTANDING IT AS RANBOO WILL HAVE POINTS IN TIME WHERE HIS MEMORIES SMOOTHLY JUST COME BACK, RATHER THAN A SUDDEN SWITCH, MAKES A LOT MORE SENSE TO ME

RATHER THAN LIKE STILL FRAMING IT AS TWO DIFFERENT MINDFRAMES

BECAUSE IT'S REALLY NOT EVEN THAT!!!!

I FEEL SO STUPID AHSFKJHDSKFJASD

for clarity, i used to write that ranboo would lose consciousness before entering the enderwalk state, because i feel like it was at one point FRAMED that he would lose consciousness.

HOWEVER. I THINK THE FRAMING WAS A RED HERRING.

I THINK HE DOESN'T ACTUALLY LOSE CONSCIOUSNESS AT ALL, RANBOO CUTS STREAM BECAUSE THATS IT-- END SCENE THAT'S ALL THE AUDIENCE GETS TO SEE. AND FRAMING IT AS LOSING CONSCIOUSNESS CAN THROW US FURTHER OFF OUR TRAIL.

I REALLY THINK INSTEAD OF LOSING CONSCIOUSNESS, HE ENTERS ANOTHER LEVEL OF AWARENESS WHERE HE REMEMBERS EVERYTHING. WHERE HE FINALLY HAS ACCESS TO HIS MEMORIES.

IT CAN EXPLAIN WHY IT HAPPENS WHEN HE GETS SO SCARED AND WHEN HE GETS HURT.

IT'S LIKE BEING SCARED AWAKE!!! THE ENDERWALK ISN'T THE RANBOO OFF STREAM, IT'S THE RANBOO ON STREAM.

AND I THINK WE'VE ALL KNOWN THAT BUT IDK IT'S MAKING A LOT MORE SENSE TO ME NOW.

LIKE IF THE ENDERWALK IS RANBOO IN A FORM OF SLEEP, THEN IT WOULD MAKE SENSE WHY HE ENTERS THE DIFFERENT STATE WHEN HE IS HURT OR BADLY STARTLED!!!!!

OH MY GOD!!!!

OH MY GOD.

additional things that i just dont feel like formatting coherently:

i think ranboo just gains access to his memories, theres not a real like solid line whenever he gets them back. he just has access to them again, it's not a solid switch. it's just oh right. and then eventually he forgets once more. i think there are plenty of things ranboo on screen actually does on some instinctual level rather than knowing why. the reason why is locked behind some form of mental block.

if any of that makes sense i cannot really explain it well at all and i feel like im not doing a good job at it.

TLDR;

i think the transition between enderwalk is a lot more smooth than some (like myself previously) may have envisioned it to be, and i think that the enderwalk is actually ranboo on stream while the ranboo off stream is... not that state.

(this is a baby theory post, if u wanna discuss i kinda just wanna discuss in the forms of building off of it, not in having to like defend my stance or whatever)

[shoezuki]

I think, narratively speaking, Techno will definitely use his favor for Dream at some point, whether it's to break him out of the prison or something else. It just makes sense, Chekhov's gun and all. That said, I think it has to be remembered that Dream did save Techno's life, and he's helped him out more than a few times as well. That, and I don't think Techno really knows anything about Dream and his unsavory actions, considering he hasn't really witnessed any "bad" thing he's done.

i see u yea i Do think the favour will be used in Some way in getting dream out of prison. like aside of How exactly dream will be able to relay a message to techno cuz i got NO clue klghlshg but yea. for the ‘favour’ to be called in at this point jus seems Right

however like. w the ‘favour’. i feel its importance n what it could Entail is hugely overstated. or overestimated? idk the word for it but its One a those im sure

basically like; techno ‘owes’ dream in that dream has done things for techno with the explicit intention of having techno at his beck and call at some point in the future. BUT in terms of where it gets Interesting is something techno said in a stream a While ago. sometime during the Racooninnit arc while tommy was hiding in his house. 

he said that he ‘believes in absolute reciprocity’ in response to dream bringing up that He Is Indebted to him in Some way. and ya that seems jus like a Techno Way a speakin yknow. dream was happy w that answer; affirmation that techno Will help him at some point. but also its worth sayin that techno is. Built Different. 

he doesnt know the absolutes and the details of why dream is Wack. but its noted that even though he’s ‘teamed up’ with dream he doesnt trust him much. doesnt care that hes in prison either. dream was more of a means of doing what he wanted and a way to get to his goal of defeating lmanberg. BUT thats not the biggest thing, mostly just i dont feel techno would go Far out of his way for someone he distrusts. 

but also. ‘absolute reciprocity’ suggests he’s saying he’d act in dream’s direction in the Same Way which dream acted towards him. again. not much. but what EXACTLY has dream done for techno?

its always that he ‘saved his life’ but its.like in Lose terms, not exactly. much of the things dream did were.... give techno some of the means to save Himself. he gave him a map to get to a woodland mansion; he didnt directly give him a totem, or help him go there, or clear through the mansion. giving a map, a ‘warning’ and pointing in a general direction is...... like its helpful? but not groundbreaking. 

BUT as for on the execution day in particular, dream did a few things; caused a distraction, moved carl into a place, gave technoblade iron armor and a pickaxe. then he left. Again, he gave him weak items and dipped. he didnt protect him, fight with him, make sure he was safe, or even really... give him Good items? like if more than jus quackity had chased him in there mans prob woulda been Screwed. if dream hadn’t helped? techno woulda bolted most likely and it woulda been awkward as he scrambled but i still feel he coulda gotten out. with or without carl, though im not sure. 

so like? dream HELPED him, but he didnt exactly Save him or Rescue him. mans.... didnt do much. he wasnt exactly the choosing factor in if techno lives or dies. like technically speaking dream coulda been sending him on a death mission to the mansion (altho.... its techno slkghslkhgkh)

SO. like. would dream giving techno a map, moving his horse, and giving him iron items and a pickaxe be equivalent to technoblade breaking him out of a high security prison and most likely turning the rest of the server on him in some way? nah. 

the CLOSEST i can think is. techno giving dream the Means of breaking Himself out. like. maybe somehow getting items into his prison or disturbing the machinations. but to straight up bust his whole ass out would be. too much

[worstloki]

okay so on the idea that the nine realms is the america of space:

- everyone knows what’s going on there all the time because word gets out on every major event but everyone outside the nine is just a spectator at this point so people be eyeing the crazy stuff going on there but everyone also just moves on with their day

- this results in midgard and asgard being the star attractions where midgard is like the generation of younger activists fighting the system but its also florida with a few people doing crazy things while meanwhile asgard is the governing political mess (re: the other realms are just chilling. maybe they’re michigan or minnesota or every state that just exists and doesn’t get much attention? jotunheim can totally be texas though because its got its own personality but also gets stereotyped.) 

- “so one of the weapon rich kids on Terra went through a life changing field trip and now he’s made himself a fully operational suit of armour and claims to be defending the planet” “with their noob tech? really?? they don’t even stand a chance against anything in the rest of their own galaxy--” “no no no he’s defending the planet and establishing peace... only within the populations on Terra” “aww that’s so cute” “i know!”

- space has all the gossip which means they know all the messed up stuff going on within the nine realms and everyone in space is kinda detached and not a part of it so its like a tragic-comedy reality show that people like to keep up with

- “so odin is pretending his new son is actually his firstborn now... and also banned talking about the whole history of being built on colonialism and also no one is ever allowed to mention his executioner daughter’’ “huh, weird”

- “odin totally stashed the tesseract on Terra to keep it safe” “why are you telling me this” “I was just thinking about how funny it’d be if those short-lived humans found it one day” “you’re not going to go find it for yourself? it’d sell for loads of credits...” “nah dude i’m not risking stepping into the pit of despair that is that dark dark section of the universe”

- “there are rumours he stole the jotunheim king's kid and is raising him as an asgardian” “does the kid know?” “the father sure doesn't he thinks the baby was killed” “no wonder laufeys been going a bit off the edge recently” “i’m feeling worse for the poor kid stuck with odin now”

- “hey so that Terra hero Quill was always going on about? he’s been found and recently unfrozen apparently” “dont lie to me - humans don’t live that long” “that’s just what I heard i swear”

- “odin used another realm as a time out dumping ground” “which one now?” “the second one, and midgard this time” “at least midgard isn’t filled with the souls of the dishonorable dead?” “well it was his favourite kid, so, ya know,” “ah yes, blatant nepotism, thou art a villain” 

-  “odin did--” “oh $#!^ what'd the old man do NOW” “well you know the stolen jotun kid? odin didn’t tell him he was a different species” “oh WOW that’s messed up” “oh yeah definitely. so anyways he tried to kill himsel-” “that place still has systematic racism in place and his other son has been pushing for violence since he was a kid so...  what’d the old fart THINK would happen?” “beats me”

-  everybody KNOWS what’s going on around there but no one wants to get stuck in that mess so they leave it alone and don't prod the nine realms with a ten foot pole if they can help it hence the negative connotations of midgard especially in gotg and captain marvel 

-  thanos can be colonial britain or something idk how history works but lets assume he thinks it’s prime time to go to planets and just kill some people and take their stuff for his own cause and also Sanctuary has 0 natural spices other than a pinch of salt okay

-  ''i heard odin’s stolen kid, loki i think his name was? yeah I heard he finally got a ticket out of the nine realms'' ''good for him'' ''he landed with thanos though...'' ''well, $#!^”

- “Terra’s got a little band of protectors now” “yes I heard they took down Loki” “which would’ve been such a cool thing to watch honestly I mean a master of magic vs those cute little human beans” “nah he was totally faked it. I heard the guy didn’t even want to attack the place but thanos didn’t give him another out and wanted a native to speak for him.” “so he was playing thanos? oh boy that aint gonna end well” “but he also got the mind stone away from thanos so...” “the icon really just did that?? ayyy I stan 1 prince of asgard” 

- “so I heard Terra’s hero band really just broke up because of some signature dispute” “I thought they don’t have a centralised government system yet though?” “there’s some subgoverning system that’s got most of the planet agreeing” “thats wild” “yeah so anyways there are still 2 stones there but now there’s no team to keep them safe” “oh yikes do you think we should try and assist or something in case thanos sends a retrieval party or something?” “I mean we probably should but I’m not doing it” “can’t they send Cap Marvel in? she’s from Terra aint she?” “yeah they should send Danvers in”

- “I heard odin finally kicked the bucket” “about time” “yeah but also his actual firstborn the one he tried to delete is back now...” “oh darn is loki ok?” “yeah he’s been on sakaar for like a week now just chilling” “good for him” “yeah but hela is totally trying to reinstate all the colonial bull loki was getting rid of as king” “where’s thor at in all this” “i think he accused loki of killing odin right after odin tried to guilt trip him into accepting he was a good father” “oh ew” 

- “hey so they got rid of hela but asgard blew up-” “D:” “-and loki got to do it” “:D” “yeah i thought you’d like that... so do you think we should offer aid? they’re kinda in the way of thanos’ route to midgard” “they’re asgardians” “yeah but its not their fault they were living in asgard” “i’m not going anywhere near the nine realms thanks” “you’re right they’ll probably be fine anyways”

- “hey so... asgard was not fine” “oh no” “he’s heading to earth now for the other stones” “i’m not stepping foot anywhere near there, plus they’ve got their own protectors and all” “dude they broke up years ago remember the signing issues” “that’s still a thing?” “yeah dude it never ended” “wack”

- “i think thanos really is going to succeed and snap half the universe” “well if asgard needed support they could’ve just asked vanaheim or something” “asgard never admits to needing help we already know this” “maybe we should’ve told the other realms to help midgard jů̸̢̠̳͎̳̾̓̉͜st ̷͚͙̯̺̻̦̦̃̓̒̔͜i̴̺̼̗̞̘͖͉̙̾̆̋͂̀̚̚͠n ̷̜̮͚͖́̅̈̌̐͑͛͝ć̵̭͛͛̎͋̀à̷͚̬̩̾̒̅̿̄͆͋s̷̰̖̳̙̠͈̀͊̀ḙ̷͐͑̀̌̉...” “nah Migdard will be fine” “...” “john?” “...” “john?!” “...” “JOHN NOOO!!!” [five years later] “John! You’re back! Dude!! I missed you so much!!” “I told you we should’ve sent a letter or something” “john i love you but i still wouldn’t have risked sending a letter into the nine realms” “that’s fair” 

in conclusion space has all the gossip, and people know stuff is going down there but no one wants to interact with the h*ckhole that the nine realms are, so everyone does their best to just steer clear and keep their hoods on when in the neighborhood.

[jubberry]

oohkay let's go tua with those ship asks: fiveya, horrance and alluther.

thanks el i love you

Send me a ship and I'll answer three questions based on if I ship it or not.

fiveya obvs i ship this since this is 90% of my tua drawings lol

1. ill wait ill wait (to be the one) by georgiestauffenberg made me ship it cause holy fuck dude. I dont know if i ship them romantically when i saw them onscreen cause first of all, age difference is kinda weird lmao. Second, they dont rlly interact much outside literally the first couple of eps. But he was so soft for her, and i felt like they had so much unexplored history.

so i looked at fanfics cause i was wondering if ppl still ship it, then i liked the description of this one so i gave it a go.

Basically the premise is that vanya dates a much older man who seems to know a lot about her. And it was amazingly in character and just provided their characters some depth that u wouldnt find outside of a romantic relationship between them. (The implication of five pining while she doesnt know who he is, their missed chances when he time travelled, fives missed chances of living and having a 'normal' life bec of his own hubris, vanyas insecurity and being able to open up bec shes with someone whos known her since childhood). Its so sweet and thats how i was like, oh yep i can do so much more with these two, and what has kept me interested in drawing them etc.

2. My favourite things are the shippers cause i made some friends in the fandom who are super cool and supportive! I dont get super involved in fandoms and usually just watch from afar so finding people to talk to and muck around with in this tiny fandom is super cool 😭

Though thats not to say I havent come across some bad apples in this fandom and things that I dont like. I think thats the importance of carving out a place for yourself and ur friends in fandom tho.

Another thing I like about the ship itself, i just like the grumpy person whos soft for one person trope. Its so cute. I like all the little clues in canon on how their relationship as kids is quite warm, which is interesting cause five is basically the star student and he can be quite cold vs vanya who is the black sheep of the family.

I also like how five likes her powers even when she caused the apocalypse he spent the majority of his life in lol. Like its a popular hc that five is just a wife guy and i love that.

I see vanya as the type who has a lot of love to give, and she sometimes has unrealistic expectations of what her partner can give. Betrayal and lies really angers her, but also when her partner cannot meet her expectations of love she gets very upset bec its also an indication of how shes not good enough, or not loveable enough to be able to have this in the relationship (her insecurity means every failing always comes back to her, even if its out of her control).

I feel like five would be a level-headed person enough in the relationship to not be afraid to say 'vanya ur being stupid' (ie. the s2 confrontation lmao). Also, five's personality means she will never have to doubt his actions bec she knows hes the type who will not give u the moment of the day if hes not interested.

Not to mention they also have the whole apocalypse vs. saviour, hero/villain thing. Theres just a lot to explore!

3. I probably have several. But mostly I dont mind five being a dick to vanya bec first, even if the appeal is hes soft to her hes already kind of a dick in canon lmao. Also, vanya isnt a child. Shes grown and she can handle petty af things like five telling her shes not good at cooking lol. I also dont mind it cause I feel like people are getting too afraid to write... conflict for fear or portraying an abusive relationship or smth. Like, chill. Conflict is fine, resolving it is how u get a story. However in saying that, nobody should be obligated to write any way unless you want to! Fanfic is for comfort so if what your doing is making u happy then its good enough!

horrance which i also ship but i love the platonic and romantic relationship equally:

1. I came in tua in general not shipping anything so Im honestly not sure. I do remember someone doing a meta before s2 came out that was basically how ben acted weird when klaus summoned dave in s1 that made me go 👀 Otherwise, tua s2 rlly made me like them cause tua FED horrance shippers. Like..... the fact that klaus didnt want ben to leave him, and ben knows thats why he stayed 😢 or the fact that klaus was all over him for some reason???? Somebody also mentioned gay ben once and I resonate with that deeply. Like i get that jill exists but i resonate with gay ben deeply.

2. I love their bickering, theyre so cute together. I just like ben being angry bec hes self aware that hes got both shit and amazing taste. Shit bec he cant believes he likes Klaus (and also amazing also bec Klaus). I think the idea of them being kind of underdogs, theyre not rlly leader types and dont want to be, helps them bond together even in platonic horrance. They're both down to earth, and even tho they can annoy each other, they also know if they want a space to feel comfortable its with each other. Theyre not pressured by rivalry over leadership, or any sort of competition.

I love the idea that even tho ben is like klaus's ''conscience'', hes also down for chaos and bitchy. I feel like klaus rlly enabled that side of him, its not exactly a good thing but its p funny lol

3. I know some people think their dynamic is unhealthy but i dont care lol

alluther. So id say i dont ship this, mostly due to the fact that im not invested? Just like all tua ships so far I rlly came out not wanting anything but platonic relationships cause I feel tua doesnt do romance very well. With alluther, theyre so cute but im not super invested in either of their chars so they havent stuck for me. I appreciate seeing them and talking about them tho, and I'm def open to exploring them further.

1. I think tua canon romances are just so lackluster 😔 Idk who writes the romances but I was just like 'nice' but afterwards I dont really think about them. I love their dance scene and the message behind it! Otherwise, theyre sweet like most of the tua romances but im not super invested, same with all the non canon ships.

2. I really feel like tua needs to decide on what their relationship is. Like, just say its incest or not and stick with it 👀 Or if you wanna support it or not, just make up ur mind. I think I would've liked it better if I found the characters more interesting. Allison especially I feel like suffers from the fact that tua just doesn't want to make her ''mean''. They want to make her supportive and are less interested in making her flawed (ie. she should've had a conflict with Vanya in s2, but the writers didnt want to write the girls fighting which is stupid imo and not what that conflict is about).

In regards to Alluther, the scene where Allison gets annoyed at Luther for sleeping with someone else felt out of line. Like, how are you marrying other people and moving on but Luther isn't allowed to? But honestly, I don't mind if they actually just acknowledge it and make it a deliberate part of Allison's trait that Allison can expect a certain loyalty automatically from other people (which can tie in to her childhood being a star, and the rumour).

Luther is a big simp for Allison, which is sweet, but at the same time it would be nice to have him explore himself for a bit, and who he is outside of the academy. Then maybe they can rekindle their relationship again as new people and see where they go from there.

3. I don't hate them, but they're ok. I'm not super invested in them, just like all the tua canon romance. But I wouldn't mind making content for them if I were a bit more invested in their characters. I love their dance scene in s1 and I feel like its super a underrated portrayal of what their relationship is meant to be. I know no one talks about it but it's just such a great scene, and I'm pretty sure the choreographer was into interpretive dance? The scene had a lot of meaning that I don't see people dig around with.

Essentially I'm pretty sure the fairy lights are obviously a throwback to their childhood together, spending time outside of Reggie. So the dance scene kind of symbolized that pocket of space they made for each other in their life (even if theyre far away, or with other people, they will always have that space for each other).

The way they danced was more like playfighting than dancing, which means their relationship isn't sensual. It's more ''pure'', and romantic. Its basically two kids rekindling their love as adults. I also think this is a response to the incest, cause in s1 tua klaus literally said that 'thank god Regg is not their real father' right before Allison and Luther meet lmao. So its kinda like saying Allison x Luther isnt supposed to be 'ohh step sibling hot' but two people who experienced the same trauma as kids and finding comfort with each other (and rekindling that love after many years).