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suganovakawa · 4 years ago

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𝐒𝐀𝐔𝐃𝐀𝐃𝐄 .

PAIRINGS : tooru oikawa x fem! reader , slight hajime iwaizumi x fem! reader

GENRE : angst , romance

WARNINGS : cursing , car accident , recovery from amnesia

SYNOPSIS : tooru doesn’t understand how special you are to him until he comes close to losing you forever . as he struggles to comes to grips with his feelings and balance it with his future , you still have to recover from your own injuries , but without your memories to assist you .

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐗𝐈𝐈 < [ 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐗𝐈𝐈𝐈 ] > 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐗𝐈𝐕

enough is enough; it’s time to give hajime an ultimatum.

word count : 1.3k

saudade masterlist .

SAUDADE

( 𝐧 . ) a nostalgic longing to be near again to something or someone that is distant , or that has been loved and then lost ; “ the love that remains ”

⠀"you've been silent ever since we got here." your eyes lazily met hajime's, which were strained with concern and confusion. "c'mon, if i'm paying, then you gotta at least tell me what's on your mind." he solidified his statement by reaching out to place his hand on top of yours, gently squeezing it within his palm. you enjoyed the warmth he radiated, though you remained silent and simply kept your hand there without reaction.

⠀you felt lost, more lost than ever before. more questions began to pile and stack up higher and higher, and not even a slimmer of an answer had shown itself yet. an endless labyrinth of mystery, that became worse with every turn you took. you were frustrated with yourself. you were frustrated with iwaizumi. you were frustrated with oikawa. you were frustrated with the world.

⠀"y/n." he said it more firmly this time, now getting impatient with your silence. "stop staring into space, i'm right here. you know you can tell me what's going on in your mind. i'll do my best to help or assist you in anyway i can."

⠀that was a lie, you knew it was, and he knew it was. you almost laughed. he'd tell you jackshit. he only wanted to help if it would make him look better in your eyes. why? did you hate him before everything happen? is he trying to make amends? is that why he refuses to tell you anything that would trigger any memories to clear up? what was he achieving by keeping your own life a secret? he had every answer you wanted, and wouldn't tell you anything from it.

⠀to make matters worse for yourself, now, you couldn't trust oikawa. there was something there. you felt it. your body, your nerves, your heart felt different. the atmosphere around the injured third year became different. your subconscious remembered something your brain hadn't picked up on yet. your body reacted on its own whenever tooru came into sight, your instincts telling you to flee, to get out of there as quickly as possible. you only had your instincts to trust at this point; instincts, and a gut feeling. even then, your gut feeling seemed to enjoy remain dormant.

⠀"it's nothing, hajime. i just didn't get enough sleep last night." you snapped at him lightly, your frustration building up as you sat back, removing your hand from his hold. "i'll be fine. thanks for taking me out today. i almost thought you'd forget."

⠀"never." his smile was almost arrogant, crossing his arms and sitting back in his own chair. "like i said, it's my treat. i wouldn't go back on my word."

⠀"right..." you were bored of him at this point. he was just fishing and hoping that you would praise him for his selfless actions. "it's friday, right? i've got nothing to do this weekend." you were partially talking to yourself, your thoughts still focused on finding ways to get your memories back. you had no leads, or clues; that wouldn't stop you from trying, though.

⠀"want to do something this weekend?" he shrugged. "not sunday, though. i'm a bit busy then. but saturday i'm free. i'll take you somewhere for the day. again, my treat."

⠀"you need to let me pay one of these days. i'm not entirely broke." you huffed and shook your head, before shrugging lightly to his suggestion. "i guess so. i've got nothing to do, either. i might sleep early tonight, though. i need it." that was a lie. you just wanted to get away from him for the rest of the day so you could do stuff on your own.

⠀"that's a good idea. sleep is important. you need your rest."

⠀you yawned to solidify the thought. "my thoughts exactly."

⠀"i'll text you tomorrow about it. for now, i'll just walk you home." you nodded, and in no time, the two of you walked out and as promised, he made sure to walk you all the way up to your front step. "here we are. i'll see you tomorrow, y/n."

⠀you took a chance. as he turned around to walk away, you grabbed his wrist, almost desperately, and pulled him back to turn him around. he was silent, but his eyes were fixated entirely on yours. you used this chance to look into his irises, to see any possible sign of him hiding something, anything from you. his eyes were completely unreadable. there was nothing there, but so many things all at once. like he had everything but nothing at his disposal. "please, hajime." you begged quietly, your lips quivering. "please, i just want to know something from before the accident. i want to remember. i want to recall. nothing has come back to me." he tried to pull away but you only grasped onto him tighter. "just one thing, hajime. that's all i ask for. tell me at least one thing if you can't tell me everything. stop hiding my life from me, please. i want to know what happened."

⠀he was considering it. you could see it as he moved his gaze away from you, now unable to maintain eye contact. he had stopped fighting your hand and stood there, almost defeated. you squeezed his hand one more time, as if to encourage him to say something.

⠀nevertheless, it failed. you wanted to cry as he quickly pulled his hand away from your grip, his jaw clenching as he seemed to be fighting something internally. "if you haven't remembered anything, it must be for a reason, then. maybe your conscience is trying to protect you from the pain your past self faced. you shouldn't fight it."

⠀"don't you get it?" you raised your voice at him, now just angry. "i don't care, hajime. i don't give a single shit. i don't care if it hurts me. i don't care how bad it was before the accident. i don't care if i killed someone before the accident, or committed any kind of crime. i don't give a shit. i just want to know! don't you understand? you have everything i want to remember, and you just dangle it in front of my face and mock me with it every single day. you have me wrapped around your finger and all i can do is pretend i'm doing fine."

⠀you pushed him away by the chest as he tried to step near you. "don't. don't hug me, don't touch me. i'm tired of you only painting yourself as my hero and knight in shining armor. you're keeping me in the dark, and i'm tired of it. i just want to remember, hajime." you pointed at him. "wouldn't you want to remember everything if you lost all of your memories?"

⠀he was speechless, but you were already done with today. you left the question rhetorical as you lowered your finger and turned around, opening the door hastily.

⠀"i'll think about it."

⠀you heard his voice, quiet and faint, like a whisper. "it's a lot to unpack, and i don't want to stress you out with it. but if you go out with me tomorrow, i... i'll think about telling you."

⠀"that's not how this is going to work." you snapped right back, your grip tightening around the doorknob. "if you aren't going to tell me, i'm not going with you anywhere tomorrow. the moment i find out you won't, i'm going home, and you aren't going to follow me. i hope i've made myself clear."

⠀you slammed the door in his face and watched him walk away from the window. once he was out of your line of vision, you took a deep breath. you did what had to be done. now, the decision was now in iwa's hands. it was an ultimatum. either he would come forward with the truth, or he could kiss your day, and friendship with him, goodbye. you were sick of it, this was your boiling point.

⠀you really hoped hajime would see your side.

a/n : i’ve got nothing. we’ll see what decisions are made in the next chapter :>

taglist ( closed ) — @ot127 @rena0921 @karlitabi-rrito @psychicpercyjacksonfan @crescentbitch @amelimiles @damnirina @pasta-warlord @blossomingbangtan @clinomanians @i-am-kinda-in-alot-of-fandoms @manq-fandoms @cirtruss @sugar-wara @haikoo @anime-simp @kairostatue @awkwardspontaneity @iwantapoptartqwq @aquariarose @softestdreamer @plantisnotplant @avylee @froppysgirl @that-animebitch @wisepandaslimeland @samanthaa-leanne @dumplingzumispam @0hakaashi @captain-janeway @afterglowkuroo @bellabelieveme @attixca @chickenrest @tycrackculture @ynjimenez @karaseijoh @lavieenblancetnoir @dabilove27 @cuddlesslut @crypto-s @keigosbitch@readeretal @shittykawaa @donghyuckster @adriloen @ella-solei @emiyummy @kukiisan@catyuyuyuu @sillykittt @dolan-mendes @kiritokunuwu @the-third-wall @yammerss @todohawki

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bubblyani · 5 years ago

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Your Laugh

(Philip Altman x Reader)

A Philip Altman One Shot

Fandom: This is Where I Leave You

Rating: Mature

Summary: You have reunited with Philip Altman, your old friend from middle school after what seemed like ages. And he had always remembered you through an unorthodox manner which unexpectedly stole your heart.

Author’s Note: Missed writing for Adam’s characters so much. Philip, his character was hilarious in this movie. But I also loved him too. Wanted to write something for him. Enjoy!

The smell of alcohol, it always lingered in your memory since you were a child. Would anyone whose family owned a bar not relate to that?

Wherever you were, the smell always reminded you of your hometown. It was home for you. But when you finally were back in the very place where it all started, you felt a sense of completion. Coming back home always felt comforting. But this time, it was for good and oddly you were grateful. After much needed soul searching, you knew that this was where you were meant to be.

The bar, your family’s bar, it may be filled with people, but your laughter was loud enough to cut through all noises put together. At least, that was what you thought. You knew it sounded distinct. Thus, you always wondered if it secretly annoyed all those around you. Could it be possible that everyone never mentioned anything about it solely for the purpose of being polite? Funny how a shot of vodka would just send you off to a path of deep pondering.

But tonight was not the time for that, for it was a night of celebration.

“And here’s to SUCCESS!” You cried out jovially, as your refilled shot glass clinked with your friend’s. “Here here!” However, even though your friend cried in response, even though she gulped her drink down, it was evident that she clearly was not paying attention.When her wandering eyes were focused on something else, or someone else completely.

“Is…that guy checking you out?” You asked in an excited tone. Chuckling could not be helped, especially when you friend did not even care you noticed, for she was too occupied making eyes with the handsome gentleman from across the room. With her eyes still on him, she nodded. “Since, the moment we came in here…” she said, then turning to you with desperation, “Should I-” “-do something about it?” You finished her sentence. Settling her nerves, you smiled, “Please bitch, you must!” You said, getting her to laugh along with you in excitement. With one last glance, she succeeded in getting young gentleman to walk over to her. As they began to make sweet conversation, you turned to the bartender. You were truly glad for your friend. After a bad breakup, she certainly needed to blow off some steam.

“Y/N?”

A deep voice, filled with such character and familiarity. It called out to you. Looking over your shoulder to the left, you glanced at the man before you. Your jaw dropped, for it was certainly someone you did not expect to see.

“Philip?” You began, “Philip Altman?”

The man smiled playfully. And so did you. A happiness you had forgotten returned to you all the sudden.

The last time you saw Philip Altman was at your Middle School Graduation. He may have not been your bestie, but he certainly left quite an impression on you back in the day. A troublemaker he was, but he was different with you. With many mutual interests, you knew he was someone you’d be friends with for life. But sadly, when you had to move out with your family to another city, you reluctantly had to let go of that dream. Finally, after years and years, there he was, standing before you. It was unfathomable that this was actually him. 6 foot 4 in majestic height, he certainly has changed a lot.

“Holy Shit!” You said, as he hugged you. His hugs always made you feel special. You missed them immensely. Apart from being special, you now even felt protected. “Oh my goodness…look at you!” You cried out, “You look gorgeous…”you paused, covering your mouth with embarrassment, “…sorry!” You squeaked nervously, “That was genuine!” You admitted. Philip’s eyes grew big.

“Me??” He said, “Look at yourself” he exclaimed, pointing at you, “You look like a freakin’...Damn!” He may have looked dashing dressed in all black. But the way his eyes washed all over you, blushes attacked you from all corners, and there was no escape. Puberty certainly did both of you some good.

“It’s been so long…” you said breathlessly, both leaning against the bar, “How did you even recognize it was me?” You asked, as Philip signaled a round of drinks.

“Your laugh…” He said. Your eyebrows rose with surprise.Guess your loud laughter was audible for all. But his tone, there was nothing condescending nor offensive. Not at all. “I could never forget it” he said, “You could say it was memorable” he added. In fact, his tone was nothing short of dreamy. You could not help but notice how he could not keep his eyes off you.

“Wow…” you remarked, “That’s the sweetest thing to say…” you continued, “and it came from Philip Altman? What a day! ”. It was true, you never realized someone like him would think so fondly of something as random as your laugh. Glasses were clinked, and the vodka touched your tongues in haste. The alcohol tasted different now that Philip was there.

“So…what are you doing back here?” He asked. Smacking your lips, you looked at him. “Thought I move back for good” you answered, “Plus it’s my off night tonight” you said, motioning to the bar. Since it was the family business, you would lend a hand in bar-tending. “And yet, you still come here” “Guess it’s my calling. I’m kidding..” You chuckled, “I’m actually here with my…” you turned to your right, “…friend” you paused, “Oh there she is…” you began, “…sticking her tongue down a… man’s… throat.”you said unexpectedly casual, watching your friend going wild with her new found conquest, “Anyways…” you turned back to Philip with a smile, “…we’re celebrating” “Celebrating that you’re not virgins anymore?” Philip snickered. You smacked him playfully. Boy, he had nice arms. “Savage…” you chuckled, “No…this is different” you added in a tone that was quite matter-of-fact. “Oh yeah?” “Yeah…we opened our own business here” you said proudly, straightening your back. You hoped you looked presentable in your tight short silver dress. “I really hope it’s not a sporting goods store” Philip said, secretly looking you up and down once again. You shook your head frantically. “Oh god no….” You replied, “…nothing beats Your dad's store” “Well I’m running it now with Paul” He said, with a smile. Genuinely surprised, you covered your mouth. “Oh my-no way! ” you exclaimed with delight “…that’s just awesome” you cried. Philip smiled brighter by your response, “So you’ve moved back here too?” You asked. “Yeah…” “That’s really, really awesome…” You surprised your own self when those words exited your lips so dreamily. As if you were waiting to hear those words for a long, long time. Accidentally, finding yourself staring into his eyes lot longer than you should, his eyes told you he was too.

“You seriously look great, by the way” he said softly. You would be lying if that did not make you smile. “Well…Right back at ya, champ” you said.

That was it. You were very, very attracted to Philip Altman. And the way his eyes twinkled, you were confident he felt the same way.

A song. An old nostalgic song, started to play in the background. A song that roused you with excitement.

“Oooh…I haven’t heard this baby in ages…” you squealed, “Come on, Altman…Dance with me!” You said to him, moving over to the wooden dance floor in the midst of the gathering crowd. “I will but…What If your dancing hasn’t changed since middle school?” Teasing, Philip asked. You rhythmically waved your hand in refusal.  “Just trust me, will ya?” You said in a sultry tone, beckoning him with your index finger as you began to dance.

You may have been in a dress, but you certainly knew how to groove in it. The music flowed through your body like water. Eyes closed tight, you swayed your hips provocatively, as if no one was watching. Except one particular person. And it made you joyous when that one person grabbed you by the hand, pulling you over to him. With your back firmly pressed against his heaving chest, the two bodies moved together in sync. You felt chills running down your spine, just to have Philip’s body against your own this way. The way you kept grinding against him, the way your buttocks subtly brushed against his clothed manhood, you grew quite hot. Grabbing you by the shoulders, Philip turned you to face him.

“Whoa…Where did you learn to dance like that?” He asked. You smiled mischievously. “I’ve been busy” you purred. “Well…Kudos to being busy then…” Eyes not leaving yours, Philip said with quite an appetite. His facial hair appeared so soft, you longed to run your fingers over them. Faces just mere centimeters away from one another, the two pairs of lips were clearly aching to make contact. And the way his face grew closer to yours with each second, you were certain there was no need ache for it any longer.

“I TOLD YOU… IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!” A loud voice bellowed, catching the attention of almost everyone in the bar, including the two of you.

“Ah shit…” Philip muttered. “What the-?”you began. Looking around, you spotted where the voice was coming from. “Oh no!” You exclaimed.

Paul Altman, Philip’s elder brother seemed to be in the midst of a brawl with Judd, his other brother. Glasses were shattered as one was flung over the table. Grabbing each other, they certainly made a scene as they began to wrestle each other like two children. And their sister, Wendy was desperately in need of help.  “Philip!” She cried, looking over at the both of you. You could tell Philip seemed helpless. And you knew what needed to be done. You gave him an obvious glance.

“Go…go! it’s okay…I’ll take care of the bill” you said, pushing him lightly so that he could quickly head over there. Breaking up the fight did not seem to be easy as expected. With Wendy’s commanding voice and Philip’s strong grip, the Altmans fled outside to settle this row.

“Whoa! What the hell just happened?” You jumped when your friend called out from behind. Though her lips had finally left the young man alone, you were certainly not in the mood to tease her about that.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Walking home later that night, your heart felt heavy. It was so close. You both were so close to make something happen. So close to a possibility. The chemistry felt so real. Seeing Philip again after ages made you long for something you hadn’t longed for before. But then suddenly it was slipped right off your fingers. Maybe this was all in your head, you thought. Maybe you should not hope for too much. Shrugging to yourself, you finally made it home.

“HEY!”

You turned back, to gasp loudly. Philip stood a few feet before you, panting, trying to catch his breath. Did he just run all the way to your place?

“Hey…” you said, standing by the door as he walked over to you, “Was everything okay ?” You asked with concern. Philip nodded. “Oh yeah yeah…you know…family drama” he said, with his hands on his hips, “…and here I thought I would be the troublemaker” he added, flashing his beautiful smile. “I think you still are...” You replied teasingly. “Guilty…” he said, making you smile. That smile you wore, it was filled with relief. Relieved that he actually ran for you. Relieved that he even bothered to meet you again. Lost in his eyes, you kept smiling, overjoyed to reunite with him again after ages only to have your heart race wildly.

And before you knew it, you welcomed his eager lips with your very own, in a hearty kiss.

With arms wrapped around each other, you felt him pull you closer to him. Holding you so tightly, you were floating on air. All the while the kisses were birthed and took their own unique shape in the form of each other.

Pulling away, Philip’s nose brushed against yours. “So…”he breathed, “Anyone home?” You shook your head frantically, “Nuh uh…the folks went on a cruise” Looking up at the sky, Philip looked ecstatic. “Thank fuckin god” he cried out, which made you break in to laughter. This much of joy and genuine excitement was what you missed from your life in your hometown. And now you got it back. But your laughter died down sooner than expected, when you realized he was staring at you with amusement. “What?” You asked. Philip smiled warmly.  “There it is…”he began “Your laugh” he said in an affectionate tone.

Kissing him shamelessly once again, it was definitely clear this was where you definitely were meant to be, and needed to be.

——————————————————

Check My MASTERLIST for More :)

#adam driver #philip altman #this is where i leave you #philip altman x reader #adam driver imagines #adam driver fanfics #star wars #tros #kylo ren #adam sackler

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rosesgonerogue · 5 years ago

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Let the Sunshine In Chapter 5

A/N: Sorry for the wait everyone, my professors have decided we’re capable of doing twice the amount of work than we usually do. I hope everyone’s doing well, and I hope you enjoy the latest chapter!

AO3

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When Alya opened the door, she was alarmed to hear a gross sobbing from the guest bedroom. Dropping her bags, she rushed back. “Marinette, you okay girl?”

Marinette emerged, hands shaking, holding a packet of papers. “Alya, it’s terrible,” she sobbed, flinging her arms around her best friend.”

“Are you okay? What happened, are you hurt?” Alya asked, pulling back to check her friend over.

“I’m fine, I’m fine. This is what’s wrong,” she said, violently shaking the packet of papers. “It was mailed to my MDC mailbox with no return address and enough money to pay for five normal commissions.”

“That’s… definitely strange,” Alya said slowly.

“That means I can’t deny the request!” Marinette wailed. “Just look at it!”

Alya carefully took the paper Marinette thrust at her. On it was a crudely sketched design with broken French describing certain specifications. “...Wow.”

“It’s hideous,” Marinette moaned. “And it’s supposed to be bulletproof! I’ve never worked with bulletproof material before, I don’t even know if my sewing machine can handle bulletproof material.”

“How is he supposed to get his order if there’s no return address?” Alya asked. She couldn’t tear her eyes away from the design. Was that supposed to be a helmet? It looked like a pill capsule, and the suit… It was enough to put most akuma to shame.

“I’m supposed to ‘stuff them behind the second trash can on the west side of the Louvre,’” Marinette read from another paper. “Who would even think of that? And I can’t just stuff the refusal there, what if someone saw and stole the money? At least no one would actually want that abomination. And I can’t deny a commission just because it’s hideous and weird, it’s unethical.”

Alya definitely felt for Marinette, but this was somehow… refreshing. She felt like she hadn’t seen this marinette for a few years. The frantic overreactions were something she hadn’t seen since high school, and it was strangely nostalgic.

“Well, I guess that answers my question of why you would need this much kevlar,” Alya said with a smile. She deliberated a few moments - this was usually when she took her leave, and she did have plans with Nino that night, but…

“If I make it a little slimmer here, he might not notice, and it would be less likely to make children cry…” Marinette murmured, sketching out her own version of the commission.

That cemented her resolve. Alya sent Nino a quick text, cancelling their plans for that night - they could go to the movies any night.

“Hey girl, mind if I hang around tonight? Nino and I had to rain check our plans tonight, and it’s been too long since we’ve hung out together.”

Marinette finally looked up from her sketching. Blinking a few times, she said, “Oh, yeah! That sounds like fun! I should probably take a break anyway.”

If she hadn’t been sure before, now Alya knew she had at least some piece of her best friend back. There was a light in Marinette’s eyes that had been missing for a while. A thought popped into her head and Alya bit her lip, unsure if she should press her luck. Shaking her head, she decided to go for it.

“By the way, Marinette, I was thinking about getting everyone together on Friday for a movie night or something. Are you in?”

“That sounds great, just text me the details!” Marinette said brightly, heading to the kitchen. “Does quiche sound good to you? It’s what I was planning to make, but I can always do something else.”

“Quiche sounds great!” Alya said, distracted by her furious texting.

Alya: Everyone clear your schedules, we’re getting together on Friday. It’s mandatory.

Rose: I’m free! What are we doing?

Alix: I have plans already.

Alya: CANCELLED

Adrien: I also have a photoshoot, and I have no idea how long it will take.

Alya: I will personally make sure it ends on time if I have to. Marinette agreed to get out and do something with us.

Kim: NO

Max: What?!

Alix: WHY DIDN’T YOU LEAD WITH THAT?!

Luka: Jagged can find a different guitarist for a night. Actually, Jagged might try to come himself.

Nino: I don’t know how you did it babe, but cancel as many dates as you need to.

Mylene: Ivan and I can come home for a weekend.

Alya was pulled away from the group chat by Marinette saying something. “What was that, girl? I didn’t hear you.”

“I was asking what you wanted in the quiche,” she repeated, poking her head out of the kitchen.

“Oh, whatever sounds good to you. You’ve never made anything I didn’t like.”

She hadn’t known how much she missed it, but lightheartedly laughing with Marinette made Alya feel like she had come home again.

“So tell me girl, did something good happen to you?” Alya finally asked.

Marinette paused. “What do you mean?”

“Be real with me, Marinette. You haven’t been yourself for a while. We didn’t want to pry, especially since Hawkmoth is kind of wearing everyone down. Did something good happen?”

“Oh, I hadn’t realized I’d been acting so differently.”

“Are you serious, Marinette? You skipped out on everything you possibly could, have just to stay at home and work on commissions. We didn’t want to push the issue, so we gave you space. It just ended up lasting a few years,” Alya said, patting her hand. “You don’t have to tell me what happened, then or now, I was just curious.”

“I… I met someone,” she said hesitantly. “I know what you’re thinking, and it’s not like that. There wasn’t a chance for it to be like that.”

“Then what was it?”

“He was lost, in more ways than one.” Marinette had a faraway look in her eyes, and an slight smile graced her lips. “I felt like I knew him, even though that’s impossible. Even though he was only here for a couple days, it somehow reminded me that I’m alive, and that it should be a wonderful thing.”

Alya couldn’t hold herself back from embracing her best friend, her arms nearly a vice. After a few moments, she couldn’t help but giggle to herself. “Well, you rediscovered your enthusiasm for life just in time to make the most hideous outfit in history. Are you sure he wasn’t one of the Greek muses?”

“Not if he sent me this!”

A few miles away, Jason sneezed. It was getting colder outside, but he refused to go stay in Bruce’s safehouse. It was probably petty, but Jason refused to act like he was Bruce’s child anymore, not with the way things had ended. So he was in and out like a thief in the night, stealing what he needed and leaving the connection to Bruce behind.

Jason wasn’t sure what to do. Uncertainty and anger churned in his stomach, and little else. He found himself lurking on the fringes of society. Whether it was to save the civilians or himself, he had no idea. The anger he felt, it scared him. When he’d woken up, he’d been its slave, a mindless vessel for rage. Now he was fully conscious, but he felt unstable, like it might overwhelm him at any moment.

Collapsing in a dirty alleyway, Jason curled in on himself. He was scared. How was he alive? Why was he alive? Could he even say he was still Jason Todd? He felt inhuman, and distanced from himself.

It had only been a few days, but Marinette felt like a passing dream that had never been his in the first place. Anger, only anger burned within him. So far he’d done his best to direct that anger, but he didn’t know how long that would hold out.

Taglist:

@cravethosecrazysquares @krispydefendorpolice @thesunanditsangel @sonif50 @kris-pines04 @persephonebutkore @tbehartoo @corabeth11 @caffeinetheory @drarryismylife101 @bluerosette23 @weird-pale-blonde-person @mystery-5-5 @heaven428 @thethirdwheelfriend @thetinymoonflower @interobanginyourmom @chocolate1721 @akana-sama @skyel0ve @katiegardneriscoolerthanyou @theatreandcomicfreak @jardimazul @karategirl119 @thewondersoflebanon @tbehartoo @shizukiryuu @northernbluetongue @moonlightstar64 @naoryllis @throneoffirebreathingbitchqueen @saphiraazure2708 @yokizu @jeminiikrystal @chocolatecatstheron @you-will-never-know-how-i-think @zalladane @slytherinsheashire @bran-thecreeper-stark @otaku4312 @emotionalsupportginger @dorkus-minimus @18-fandoms-unite-08 @tired-butterfly @bamagirl513 @pauliestorylover @alenee13 @ladybug-182 @senpaiweird @kalligraphic @jessigurl-design @emeraldpuffguide @veunnotvuen @storyteller-d @g-arya @unabashedlyswimmingtimemachine @procrastinatingrightnow @sturchling @dast218 @trashystar420 @indecisive-mess-named-me @awesome-starfish-and-tacos @kittycatwowmeow @zebrabaker @mycupisbroken @jeminiikrystal @miraculous-simmer7 @iloontjeboontje @thepeacetea @lulutheawkwardess @fusser90

#jasonette #maribat #let the sunshine in #LtSI

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spencers-dria · 4 years ago

Text

Completely Fantastic

Someone To Stay Ch. 8

Spencer x fem reader

The next morning you wake up and start packing as you prepare for the drive back home. You take your hair out of the bun you had slept in, leaving it with some long loose waves. You throw on a long, flowing navy and white maxi skirt with a navy tank top and some strappy sandals. You are feeling particularly in touch with your bohemian side after a weekend spent in the great outdoors.

After filling up on a quick breakfast, you grab your bags and head out to the car. You look to Spencer. "Is it okay if I drive?"

He appreciates you asking. No one ever does. They just assume.

"Sounds good!" He tosses his keys over to you. After filling the trunk with both of your bags, you scoot into the driver's side and adjust the seat and mirrors. You may be tall, but Spencer was much taller.

As you pull out of the driveway and make your way down the road, Spencer looks towards you.

"I'm guessing you want music. I don't really have much. If you hand me your phone I can put on whatever you like."

You unlock your phone and hand it to him, smiling at the kind gesture. Seems like he catches on quick.

"Hmm" you think out loud. "Well, I know you haven't listened to quite as much as me so we have a lot of genres to cover on this car ride. We'll start with the 70's and go from there. Just put it my 70's playslist on shuffle. We'll let my phone pick for us."

Gypsy by Fleetwood Mac comes on. A smile of content spreads across your face. You reach into the compartment above your rear view mirror and grab what you liked to call your "John Lennon Sunglasses". They're rosy and oversized and perfect for your current mood. You roll the windows down and let the wind whip through your hair, resting your elbow out the window. Sunshine warms your skin as you listen to the incredibly talented Stevie Nicks.

After a few more songs you ask him to flip to the 80's playlist on shuffle. As Forever Young by Alphaville comes on, you see a look of recognition on Spencer's face.

"Oh yeah, I forgot you were an 80's baby! 80's pop is some of my very favorite."

He smiles and nods. You get it. There's something oddly comforting about nostalgic music from your childhood. You let the rest of the 80's playlist finish, since you both seem to enjoy it.

Eventually Spencer turns in his seat to face you.

"I had a lot of fun this weekend." He states this with a fairly serious look on his face.

"Yeah me too! Is everything okay though? You look like you have more to say?"

He continues, while fiddling with his hands and hair and staring down at his lap. He's clearly nervous.

"It's uh j-just...would you...well would you want to be friends? I know that's p-probably an odd question I just, well I enjoy hanging out with you. Since I don't see you at my uh place of work I wasn't really sure the c-correct protocol for..."

You reach over and squeeze his hand to cut him off, since you can see he's clearly only making himself more anxious.

"Hey" you give him a reassuring smile.

"We're already friends. I think we have no choice but to continue hanging out. I mean, we just get along to well, it's not really up to me" you joke.

The both of you laugh and he seems to relax again. He squeezes your hand back as a thank you. Before you return it to the steering wheel.

"How do you feel about a weekly movie night?"

His eyes light up at the idea before clouded over, clearly thinking it through.

"My job..." he starts before you cut him off.

"I know, Spencer. Don't stress. My job schedule is inconsistent too. I mean, I get my schedule given to me six weeks at a time but, I work different sets of days each week. It's completely random. But that means I have four days off a week so I like our chances. And if some weeks it doesn't happen, that's ok too. You go save lives, and I'll help heal them. It's what we do."

He raises his eyebrows in surprise before responding.

"Oh well you've thought of everything, huh?"

You shrug, trying to conceal a smirk. "Maybe."

He looks to you. "Ok so what will be watching first?"

"Hmm, I'll let you pick first. And we can trade off?"

"Well I don't know how into fandoms you are but... would you mind if we watched some of Harry Potter?"

Usually your face is a huge giveaway to what you were thinking, and not just to FBI profilers. In this instance, you were incredibly determined to keep a straight face and not let on a single thing.

You just give a small nod as you keep your eyes on the road, expressionless.

"Sure, we can do that."

"Ok, so when and where? Or do you have that planned too?"

"Well..." you think for a minute before extending the offer. You don't want to scare off your newest friend.

"I'm free tonight if you'd like. We can unpack and maybe sneak in a nap first?" You glance over to gauge his reaction.

He smiles and nods, on board with the idea.

"Yeah, and I can meet back at your place at 5? Want me to bring anything? The DVD's?"

"Oh no it's fine! I'm pretty sure I saw them on Amazon or YouTube TV..." you respond, still trying to control your face. You really wanted to fool the genius profiler.

Spencer asks to borrow your blanket before curling up in the passenger seat and taking a nap the rest of the way home. It was too adorable. You couldn't help yourself. As you pulled up to a red light, you snap a quick picture of him. You also take a selfie with you making goofy faces, Spencer sleeping in the background.

You gently shake him awake after parking outside of your building. You grab your bags out of the back and wave to him as he backs the car out.

Once in the apartment, you take Juneau out for a quick walk. The dog sitter had given you detailed updates while you'd been away. You throw your weekend bags in the closet and hop in the shower. After drying your hair, you throw on a Black Borgin and Burke's T shirt and some black leggings and get to work.

It's September which, for you, meant the Halloween decor was abundant. You plug in all of your purple, green, and orange string lights placed all around your living room and kitchen. You light several candles you have scattered amongst your Halloween decor. Your shelves are lined with pumpkins, potion bottles, and various skeleton items.

You pop in your guest room to make sure it looks presentable. You're fairly sure he won't be expecting anything like what he's walking into tonight. On one hand, if it scares him off then it was bound to happen eventually. But if he doesn't mind...well maybe this friend is in it for the long haul.

You grab two butterbeer mugs and set them on the counter next to an assortment of flavored hot chocolate packets. You also set out microwave popcorn and a bowl of Halloween candy.

You decide to do one last thing, really hoping Spencer won't think you're completely insane. It's not long before you hear a knock at the door.

You open it, wearing your Ravenclaw robe and your glasses which just so happen to look a bit like Harry Potter's.

Spencer's brow wrinkles in confusion before he starts laughing.

"So I'm guessing you've seen Harry Potter before!" He says after finally catching his breath.

"Ummm..." you smile and just take his hand pulling him through your apartment till you reach your guest bedroom.

His eyes widen as he looks around at all your Halloween decorations. Before he can comment he's standing speechless in the doorway.

He looks around to see a completely Harry Potter themed guest bedroom, filled with creatures, books, wands, and more.

"Yeah Spencer, I've seen the movies" you finally say, letting out a laugh you've been holding back.

He looks stunned. "How did I... but you..."

"Yeah I'm usually pretty bad at hiding things so I have no idea how I pulled this one over on you. Aren't you supposed to read people for your job?" You joke with him, nudging his side with your elbow.

He's still just standing there, eyes wide, taking it all in. He walks over to the book shelf to flip through what you have.

"You have the potions book?...the maurader's map?...even the Quibbler?"

You just shrug, smiling as you watch him look around.

"So you don't think I'm completely crazy?"

"I think you're completely fantastic!" He blurts out, blushing a bit after he says it.

You bite your lip as you say " I may or may not also have the movies on DVD in 4K...to watch on my new TV."

He steps back into the living room to see where the two of you will be spending the rest of the night.

"Oh, this is going to be perfect!"

He takes a moment to finally take in the complete explosion of Halloween across your home.

"I hired Jack Skellington as my decorator" you snicker, making fun of yourself a bit.

He turns to you, eyes wide once again. "You like Halloween too?" He reminds you of an eager little kid with the look on his face.

You answer him with an eager nod and a grin.

"Y/N, I think it's pretty clear that we were meant to be friends! Where have you been all my life?" He laughs.

You don't know why, but you feel yourself turning red at hearing this comment.

You prepare some hot chocolate and popcorn for the two of you while Spencer sets up the Sorcerer's Stone.

"Oh I almost forgot, I brought something!" Spencer pulls something out of his sweater pocket. He has handfuls of Ghirardelli chocolates.

"Are those Rossi's? From the trip?"

"I have know idea what you're talking about." He states with a smirk as he plops down onto the couch, tossing you one. You lean back against the opposite end, leaving you room to both stretch your legs out and share a blanket.

You try your best not to quote the movie that you know by heart, but you just can't help it. Then you look over and see Spencer mouthing along with the lines. You give him a small kick under the blanket.

"I bet you could do a one man show of these movies, Mr. eidetic memory." You giggle.

"From the looks of it, so could you. We could take our show on the road. We'd make millions."

The two of you burst into a fit of laughter. With Spencer, you're always smiling.

#Spotify

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i-dont-want-your-hysteria · 5 years ago

Text

The Leppard Albums: A Summary

(inspired by Every Beatles Album)

Happy Saturday night everyone

The Def Leppard EP

Joe is 19 and just wants to ride a motorcycle okay

Groupie fantasy

Zeppelin lyrics meet Rush with an underappreciated bass line

On Though the Night

IT'S!!! ROCK!!! N ROLL!!! BABEY!!!

Joe is 20 and just really doesn't wanna work in a factory anymore okay

pls D; girl D; stop D; hiding D; your D; pain!!

another... groupie fantasy... I think? ...???

Leppard in Space

Joe is 20 and just wants to write something edgy okay leave him alone

STEVE 👏👏👏 FUCKING 👏👏👏 CLARK!!!! 👏👏🔥👏🔥👏👌👌

the original groupie fantasy but it's been re-recorded

girl?? make up?? your mind???

let's be mysteriously edgy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Zeppelin lyrics meets Rush but it's been re-recorded (but don't worry they still kept the underappreciated bass line)

High N Dry

everyone in this band is a slutty bottom and this is the song that proves it

we have Mutt Lange now and this is the song that proves it

drONK TIEM

betcha didn't think we could write a ballad, did ya ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

STÊVË!!!!! 👏👏👏👏 FÜCKÎÑ!!!!!! 👏👏👏👏👏 C L Ã R K!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥👏👌👌🤙👏👌🔥👌🎉🎉

underappreciated and that's all there is to it

noooo don't go you're too mysterious and sexy hahhaha

oh god Dx oh god no Dx we don't sound like this anymore we swear Dx

betcha thought we stopped writing Beowulf-esque pop songs didn't ya ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

🚫🚫⛔👎🚫🙅‍♂️👎🚫⛔🙅‍♂️⛔ *Joe tearing his throat up for 2 solid minutes*

Pyromania

IT'S ROCK!!!!!! N ROLL!!!! BABEY!!!!!!!1!!!!1!!1!! AGAIN!!!!! 😆😆😆

the Classic Rock Fandom™ in a nutshell 😓

INTRODUCING PHIL 👌👌👌 FUCKING👏👏 COLLEN 🔥🔥🔥

betcha thought we abandoned the idea of doing a ballad didn't ya ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Joe's back at it again with the edgy songs and is getting a lot better at it too

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ∆ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Gunter 🙃 Glieben 🙃 Glauchen 🙃 Globen

the most underappreciated song on this whole entire fucking list sorry I don't make the rules

Alright, WHO in this band wants to be in a porno >:C

Joe's back at it yet again with the edgy songs but it's even BETTER this time

Hysteria

Girls Girls Girls ALL WOMEN ARE QUEENS ANAKIN

🎸we!!! fucking!!! love!!!! glam rock!!!!!! and african drum rhythms!!!!!!!!!🥁

we're not furries we swear we're just kinky D: also fuck you DJs here's some false endings

we haven't made a ballad that HURTS yet so here we go (with an underappreciated bass line)

the song that invented "( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)" (AKA when you cram for a test the minute before and end up getting 100%)

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)😏( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)😏( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

S T E V E 😭👏👏 F U C K I N 😭😭😭 C L A R K 👏👏👏😭👏😭

nooo don't shoot me you're too kinky hahaha

a song about rioting and being #punk, but the only crime the man singing it has ever committed was getting a speeding ticket when he was 19/20

oh. oh shit. oh god. holy shi- I can't believe... ...we just accidentally made the most perfect song to ever exist :o like seriously- people are achieving nirvana as we speak I'm not joking I think we went too far with the perfection this time guys

THIS SONG IS ABOUT S E X AND WE AIN'T BEING SHY ABOUT IT EITHER LET'S FUCKIN GO BABE-

Don't 👏 give 👏 me 👏 love 👏

Adrenalize

gkKLglldlflhlADKSLALLFLSS 😆😆😆

I fucking love my wife uWu

fkKMglgllsLLslgflephpGLDLPT 😆(͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)😆

We're just gonna get extremely romantic and passionate for 4 minutes and 3 seconds if that's alright with you (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)

this album was the most painful thing any of us have ever had to do, so here's the most serious song we've ever done to date. Steve ✊ Fucking ✊ Clark ✊ -n-

now that our mental breakdown is over, we're gonna get extremely passionate and romantic again but for a lil longer this time aiight 🤙

one of us has a protection/ownership kink but we're not gonna tell you who

you know what this album needs? a little bit more pain

we're layin down the line (and by that we mean we want sex)

we're layin down the line pt.2 (we still want sex btw)

Retro Active

Beowulf songs are back babey 🤙

I'll say that again if I have to^

we!!! still!!! fucking!!! love!!!! glam rock!!!!! we even covered something to prove it!!!!!!

Joe has now officially mastered ballads

I fucking love my wife part 2: she's a badass top

While Joe was off mastering ballads, Phil studied the blade

We covered something else bc again!!! we fucking!!! love!!! glam!!!

We rewrote Joe's motorcycle song bc we now realize it was cringe af (and it was an excuse for Joe to talk to Ian Hunter so that made him happy)

Joe has now officially mastered edgy/serious songs

it's a total bop but oh god. No. Please. No. Oh God. No. Don't. Please. No. Pls. No. Oh god. Don't.

This should've been on Adrenalize and you can Fight Me On That

Phil studies the blade (electric version)

Joe masters ballads (electric version)

Vault (there's only one new song on here so that's all I'm doing)

babe nooooo D';

Slang

Epic edgelords part 1

Epic edgelords part 2: Phil wrote it this time

everyone in this band is a slutty bottom and this is the song that proves it Volume 2: Electric Bugaloo

soft breakdown :'c

hOT DOGGITY DAMN JOE'S VOICE HOLY HELL TAKE ME N- *clears throat* I mean introducing Vivian Campbell :3 aND THERE'S A BASS SOLO MMMM 🤤🤤👌 THIS SONG IS JUST SEXY FUCKIN LIFT ME UP AND-

Phil's marriage isn't going too well

in fact, no one's marriages are going too well

severely underrated bop

We're still not over Steve's death and we never will be :c

Joe makes edgy ballads his bitch yet again 👏👏

severely underrated banger 🔥🔥🔥

Euphoria

wE STILL MAKE FAST BOPS IN CASE YOU FORGOT 🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘

Holy shit I didn't know Joe could hit a note that high

The 90s sucked for us but we'rE STILL HERE BICH 🖕

Can we pls give Sav more songwriting space on albums thx 😭💗

everyone in this band is a slutty bottom and this is the song that proves it Volume 3: Even Sluttier This Time 😏

totally different from everything we've ever done and WE 👏 MADE IT 👏 OUR 👏 EDGY 👏 BITCH

uwu but it's sad so it's actually umu

partying like it's 1999- oh wait, it actually is 1999

*hugs Viv and scREEEEEEEEAAAMMS*

Phil studied the blade and attacks you with it

*gets escorted into the back of a police car* IM GUILTY!! I'M GUILTY!!! I'M NOT INNOCENT!!! 😫😫😫

whatever edginess we couldn't fit into Paper Sun we put into this song instead

we're entering the new millennium as Kings and there's nothing you can do about it 👑🖕

X (Ten)

Stand on a balcony at sunset when you listen to this one

(insert Vizzini saying "INCONCEIVABLE" here)

the big UwU

I got ghosted and it’s actually a lot more dark and depressing than I thought also I wish I was never awake

soft and edgy and sad acoustic dads

F-U-C-K SPELLS F- I mean L-O-V-E spells love uWu

babe nOOOooO I'm sorry I suck so much DD;

this sounds like out if Work It Out and Day After Day had a kid

we're gonna have a Funky Good Time whether you like it or not 😎

E D G E L O R D S 2 0 0 2

we can't decide if we want this album to be edgy or uwu so we're gonna make it both

the same passion as Tonight but less sexy and more (you guessed it) uwu

E D G E L O R D S 2 0 0 2 P A R T 2

Betcha thought our emo phase was over didn't ya ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Yeah!

bops have been and will ALWAYS be something we have mastered- even if the song we're playing isn't ours

SAV'S TIME TO SHINE

betcha thought we couldn't cover a Blondie song, did ya ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Phil's just getting nostalgic about London it's fine 👍

don't worry joe's still sCREAMIN

in which we make this song a million times better than the original

WE LOVE ROXY MUSIC SO MUCH WE CANTEXPLAINWEJUSTLOVEHEMRMFLGPHPH

we're letting Joe have his moment ok just let him have this 👨‍🎤

yeah we like Free- so whAT??

okay NOW we're letting Joe have his real moment- he's been waiting for this moment ever since he was like 12 okay just. let him. have this just. this one time. pls.

in which we confuse literally everyone by making them think this is a song that we wrote

we just need ONE more bop, okay? Just ONE more we swear then we'll stop being fanboys (for now...)

we'll be right back, it's Bow Down To Thin Lizzy Hour

*Phil tearing up his throat for 4 and a half solid minutes*

Songs From The Sparkle Lounge

this one's actually kinda dark and heavy? :o

honky tonk time 🤠🤙

FINALLY ONE OF SAV'S SONGS IS THE MOST POPULAR SONG OFF AN ALBUM 🙏🙏🙏🙏😩

FINALLY WE HAVE MORE SAV MATERIAL I LOVE IT SM ;∆; !!!!

Phil's songs are severely underrated tho pls give them more attention

it's time for one (1) badass religious song and if you don't like it then you can Fuck Off kindly 🙃

This whole album is "Songs That Were Written By Phil and Viv and Sav" heaven

I think sometimes people forget that we, even as a band, are fans of the Classic Rock Fandom™ too, and we feel the same pain as the other fans :'^)🤙

Joe's three minutes of fame on this album

Joe's three minutes of fame on this album part 2

Viv's songs are severely underrated tho pls give them more attention

Mirror Ball (bonus tracks)

we grabbed fate by the balls and screamed fUCK YOU 🖕🖕

We are still Kings™ in case anyone was wondering 👑🖕

✨PHIL BELIEVES!!!! IN!!!!! LOVE!!!!!!!! AND!!!!!!!!!! BELIEVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!✨

Def Leppard (Self Titled 2015)

Is this song about playing a live show? Probably. Is it also about having a fight? Is it also about angry sex? The world may never know.

Okay this one just absolutely SLAPS, periodt.

bootleg Another One Bites The Dust

*SOBBING* THEY'RE ALL SINGING LEAD I'M-

being badass, That's The Power Of Love

don't worry, we still know how to be Poetically Edgy

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii'm *bump bump* hooked on a feeeeling

I've Got a Spiritual Romantic Boner

Can't Keep Away From The Flame edginess gets crossed with some Zeppelin charm and badassery

someone in this band is fucking piSSED 😠😠😠😠

we're gonna @ someone tonight fellas

sAV OH MY GOD BABYYYYY 😰😰😭😭😭😭 DO YOU NEED A HUG

what if we tried to cross newer Metallica with Nickelback 🤔

what if we turned this into We All Need Christmas three years from now... 🤔

Bonus: Personal Jesus/We All Need Christmas

Viv really wanted to cover ABBA but everyone said no so he settled for cowboy goth™ instead

What better man to write a warm and fuzzy Christmas song than the warm and fuzziest man alive (Sav)

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worryinglyinnocent · 4 years ago

Text

Fic: Believe or Leave

AU-gust Day Thirteen: Rock Band AU Fandom: Once Upon A Time Pairing: Rumbelle

Rated: T

Summary: Belle is over the moon when she discovers that her favourite band is getting back together again for a final tour, and her life takes an interesting turn when she realises that one of the band’s reclusive members, Rum Gold, has been hiding out in her hometown.

Note: This fic is much, much longer than the other AU-gust fics as I’ve been working on it for a long time. It happened to fit this prompt so nicely, so I decided to press on and finally finish it.

Inspired by the concept of ‘Believe or Leave: The Magical Boyband’, which I am sure has been floating around the OUAT fandom for many a year since S2Ep5 aired.

Believe or Leave

If Belle was alarmed when Ariel raced into the library and skidded to a stop in front of the issue desk just before she careened into it, then she didn’t show it. This sort of behaviour was normal for Ariel. She did not visit the library very often, but when she did, it was usually in a state of high excitement or extreme temper.

Thankfully, this was one of the former occasions. Ariel was grinning from ear to ear and waving her phone around her head as if it was the discovery of the century, or she’d just used it to win a fortune. Considering the amount of prize-winning apps that she was signed up to, Belle wouldn’t have put it past her.

“Guess who’s about to make you the happiest person in the whole entire world?” she squealed, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet as Belle switched on the ancient library computer, having to smack the monitor several times to get it to show a clear picture rather than one with pink and green lines going across it.

“Let me guess. You’ve won three million on that ridiculous pinata bingo app and you’re giving it all to me to refit the library with state-of-the-art computer equipment?” With a final, particularly violent, wallop, the screen sorted itself out and Belle gave a sigh of satisfaction, settling herself in her seat and logging on.

Ariel just rolled her eyes.

“No, although I promise that if I ever do win three million, you will not be calling my pinata bingo app ridiculous, and I will certainly give you some of it to get a new computer. I have other good news. Far better news than that.”

Considering the state of the library’s ancient infrastructure, Belle didn’t think that anything could be better news than the funds for a complete refit, but she knew that her and Ariel’s priorities were not the same and she said nothing.

“Here.” Ariel tapped her phone and handed it over, showing one of the celebrity gossip sites that she subscribed to. “That ought to put a smile on your face and send all thoughts of malfunctioning computer equipment to the back of your mind for the next ten minutes at least.”

Belle read the article. Then she read it again. Then she stared at the headline for a good three minutes without speaking. Possibly without even breathing.

Believe or Leave to reform for official farewell tour.

Believe or Leave had formed a fundamental part of Belle’s college years. She had gone to every concert she could afford to get to. Their music had been the soundtrack to her exams, her graduation, and the frantic job-hunting afterwards. Belle had always been more enamoured with them than Ariel had, but true to form, her friend had gone along with her strange obsession with the band and had dutifully replied to all of Belle’s incoherent messages of despair and rage when they had suddenly broken up seven years ago, all three members going their separate ways, with two of them going on to moderately successful solo careers and one vanishing into obscurity.

Belle had kept up with Jefferson Milliner and Vic Whale, but she had always privately been of the opinion that they were stronger together than they were on their own, and that the strongest element of the band was the one that no-one had heard of for years, the elusive Rum Gold.

Jefferson Milliner and Vic Whale of Believe or Leave team up for farewell tour seven years after band’s unceremonious split… “This is not a reunion, but after Believe or Leave left the music scene so suddenly, we finally wanted to give the fans some closure…” When asked if Rum Gold would be joining them, Milliner remained tight-lipped. “We’d love it if he were to come back, and we’ve tried to get in touch with him. Never say never,”

“Belle? Earth to Belle?” Ariel gently took her phone back out of Belle’s grip and waved a hand in front of her face. “Oh dear. I’ve blown her brains out with the news. The library will have to remain closed today. Belle’s in a boy-band induced stupor.”

“They’re not a boy-band,” Belle muttered. “They’re a man-band.”

Ariel grinned. “I knew that would snap you out of it. So, are you happy? Or are you still too gobsmacked to feel any kind of functional emotion?”

Belle nodded, which she knew wasn’t the correct way to answer an either-or question.

“That’s… wow.”

“I know that however much you might protest, you’ve never got over your love for them.”

It was true. Belle still had all her ticket stubs from their concerts, and she still had all her worn-out CDs of every album they’d released, as well as all of the tracks digitally. They were a comfort, a reminder of a time that seemed so long ago when she’d been young and somewhat more carefree than she was at the moment. Back when she hadn’t needed to worry about library computers dying and possibly taking out the power grid to the entire town.

“It’s a shame that they haven’t been able to get back in touch with Rum,” Ariel said. “You know that he’s supposed to live locally, right?”

Of course Belle knew. When the opportunity to work in Storybrooke had come up, she had jumped at the chance, knowing that it was the place where Believe or Leave had been born, three young men in a garden shed in a backwater Maine town making music. It was that whimsical connection to the band that had kept her here even when she knew that there would be positions in Boston or even Augusta that would pay better and have infinitely better equipment than the things she was forced to use in her position here. Even after the break-up, she’d become so used to life in a small town that she didn’t really want to return to Boston. It felt like giving up, in a way.

Believe or Leave hadn’t stayed in Storybrooke, of course. Once fame and fortune had found them, they’d moved out to Boston, then to New York, then out to Los Angeles. Vic and Jefferson had stayed out in California, but rumour had it that Rum had returned to his roots.

Belle wasn’t sure how much truth there was in the rumours. Storybrooke was not all that large a town, and she was certain that she would have tripped over him before now. Then again, sometimes it was difficult to recognise people in settings that were unfamiliar. She was used to seeing him from a huge distance on stage or airbrushed and touched up in magazines. She was not used to seeing him in the supermarket or the drugstore, so it was perfectly possible that she’d just missed him all the time. He was reclusive anyway, and he had always been the one to shy away from the press even back when he’d been with the band. Jefferson had always happy to take on the limelight and the interviews for the three of them, whilst Rum and Vic had stayed in the back. Whilst they had been on stage, their personalities had always been larger than life, but away from an audience, it was clear that for Rum at least, the stage persona was just that.

“I’ve lost you for the rest of the day now, haven’t I?” Ariel said sagely. “Never mind.” She leaned back against the issue desk, staring out into the middle distance in the same direction as Belle. “I wonder if they’ll still wear the leather trousers.”

Belle felt a flush rise in her cheeks at the mention of the leather trousers that the band had been famous for in their heyday. They certainly hadn’t left much to the imagination and Belle had fallen into many a less than innocent daydream regarding what might be under them.

Thankfully, it was at that moment that a woman with a gaggle of under-fives came into the library and made their way in the direction of the children’s section, and Belle was reminded that she did have a job to do and that story time would be commencing in fifteen minutes. Seeing that Belle was back in the land of the living, Ariel took this as her cue to leave.

“I’m sure that we can discuss this in depth at a later date,” she said. “I’ll bring the wine over tonight and we can go all nostalgic for your college days whilst you daydream about Rum Gold’s accent and speculate on whether he really is here in Storybrooke shut up in a cabin somewhere.”

“I highly doubt that he’s shut up in a cabin,” Belle began to protest, but Ariel was already halfway out of the library, waving behind her.

Belle took a moment to compose herself before she went over to gather picture books ready for story time, resolving to think no more about the Believe or Leave reunion until the allotted time at the end of the day with Ariel. It was hard going though, and more than once throughout the day she found herself wandering off into flights of fancy.

Maybe if the band’s break-up and the reasons behind it had been more publicised at the time, there would not be so much to think about. If the rifts between the band members had made tabloid headline news at the time, then everyone would know the whys and wherefores. As it was, everything had been so sudden and quiet. One day everything was fine, and the band was going about its business, getting ready to release a new album in a few months’ time. All their fans had been eagerly awaiting their next tour dates.

And then, one morning, they announced that they were disbanding with immediate effect, and that was that.

Privately, Belle thought that when it came down to it, Rum was the reason for the split. He’d always been closely guarded, not wanting to bring his family into the limelight, and given his almost total disappearance after they’d gone their separate ways, she assumed that it was something personal to him. There didn’t seem to be any active animosity between the remaining band members. It was all just one of those great unsolved mysteries of the entertainment world. Maybe with this reunion tour, more truths would come out. It would be wonderful if all three of them could get back together, but after years of radio silence from Rum, she wasn’t holding out much hope.

Things happened very quickly after that, and afterwards, when all was said and done and Belle was reflecting on the events of those few months after the farewell tour was announced, she wasn’t sure what it was that kickstarted everything. Certainly, the news that Ariel had brought her that morning was a catalyst, but she liked to think that perhaps providence had had a hand in there somewhere as well.

It was two days since Ariel’s dramatic entrance into the library and the revelations that had entailed from it, and Belle had spent most of that time constantly checking her phone to see if tickets for the tour had been released yet. Considering it had only just been announced, it was unlikely, but she was nothing if not optimistic.

Belle was in the store. There was nothing particularly special about the day, nor the store. It was Storybrooke’s only supermarket, and it could barely be called that. There was nothing particularly special about the shopping trip itself; she’d run out of a lot of food items and needed to restock. The only thing that was different about this week’s shop as opposed to any other was that she had made sure that Believe or Leave was playing on her earphones as she went around filling her basket, and Rum Gold’s voice was crooning at her at the exact moment that she saw the man himself.

Perhaps if she hadn’t been listening to his voice, she wouldn’t have noticed him. She probably wouldn’t have recognised him, because when one thinks about meeting famous people, one doesn’t tend to think about running into them in grocery stores. Even so, Belle had to give an inward snort at her and Ariel’s conversation. It seemed that Rum had been living under their noses all this time without them realising after all.

The more she looked at him, the more she became convinced. He looked a far cry from the person he had been when she had last seen him on stage years ago. He was wearing jeans rather than leather for a start. Belle was quite glad of that; she didn’t think that she would have been able to function if she’d seen him in the flesh in leather. He was older - obviously; everyone was older - and there was grey in his hair now, and in the beard that had grown in the intervening time.

Still just as handsome as he had been in his heyday. Perhaps more so, even. Belle had grown to appreciate the appearance of maturity in a man.

She was horribly aware that she was staring at him, and even more horribly aware that he knew she was staring at him and was staring steadily back. There was a challenge in his dark eyes, daring her to say something and expose his identity to the rest of the store. Not that Belle thought that the rest of the store would be particularly interested in his identity; as far as she knew, she and Ariel were the only two people in the town with a vested interest in Believe or Leave, and Ariel only kept up with them because of Belle.

She tore her gaze away and looked very intently at the meagre selection of tea on offer. Ever since she’d moved to Storybrooke, she’d been buying her tea online, subscribing to various different sites that gave her a wide and exotic selection to choose from. Ariel had always laughed at her for it, telling her to stop being so pretentious because it was only tea for heaven’s sake, just brew up a cup and be done with it. Still, Belle wasn’t really looking at the tea, nor was she thinking about the different blends waiting for her at home rather than the generic brand black teabags here on the shelf that always tasted of paper and sawdust. Nevertheless, she put a box in her basket to show willing and try to distance herself from the somewhat embarrassing situation that was unfolding.

It was only now that she recognised him that she realised she’d seen him around town more than she remembered. Never regularly, just here and there, but enough for him to have made an impression on her memory. She’d been so close to him all this time and never known.

She thought that she could be forgiven for not recognising him at first glance given the beard and glasses. It was probably only because she’d had Believe or Leave on the brain for the last two days that she recognised him at all. Last night she’d gone through all her old albums, looking at the sleeves and reading the spiel there. It had been an excellent nostalgia trip and it had reawakened her love for the group, as well as bringing Rum Gold to the forefront of her mind and keeping him there.

And now, of course, she had just engaged in a veritable staring competition with him and was now buying horrible tea in an effort to pretend that she hadn’t been. She glanced up but he had moved away from the end of the stack and was nowhere to be seen. With a sigh of relief, she put the tea back on the shelf and went to pay, ignoring the fact that she still had several items on her list still to buy and just wanting to get out of the store and the scene of her embarrassment as soon as possible. Once outside, with the fresh air clearing her head, she gave a groan, leaning back against the wall of the store and pulling out her phone to message Ariel.

Kill me now.

Ariel’s response was almost immediate; it was good to know that her best friend was practically glued to her phone and could always be relied upon for a quick reply at any time of the day or night.

What have you done now?

I met Rum Gold in the store.

You’re kidding me.

I am not.

At that point, her phone rang, Ariel evidently having deemed it quicker to speak in person to react to this momentous news.

“Tell. Me. Everything.”

“There’s really nothing to tell. I just recognised him, that’s all. Out of all the other times that I’ve seen this random man in the store, today he wasn’t so random after all. And then he caught me staring so I had to leave without buying any cookies. I was mortified.”

“Good for your waistline, I suppose, but not so good for helping with the mortification. You should have asked him if he was going to join the Believe or Leave tour! Honestly, Belle, I love you but you’re a walking, talking missed opportunity sometimes.”

“You can’t just go up to someone who’s minding their own business buying groceries and start talking about their former career! I already look like a crazy stalker!”

She tailed off as Gold himself rounded the corner towards the parking lot, coming straight past her.

“Belle? Belle? Are you still there or are you off in fantasies of dipping Rum Gold in chocolate sauce?”

Belle just groaned. She hadn’t thought that her humiliation could be more complete, but life was evidently thinking up ways to continually surprise her.

“Belle! Belle? Belle!” Ariel was practically shouting down the phone at her now. Gold had stopped in his tracks and was staring at her again. At least this time, the staring was on him. Belle was very pointedly looking at her shoes. “Belle, stop daydreaming and talk to me!”

“Ariel, just kill me now,” she muttered.

To her immense surprise and somewhat relief, Gold just chuckled, taking his bags over to the old Cadillac in the corner of the lot and driving away, leaving Belle standing in the shade behind the store with Ariel still squawking indignantly in her ear.

Had that really just happened? Was this all a dream? Had she fallen into some kind of parallel dimension whereby a man she saw in town every now and then had metamorphosed in her mind into a famous ex-rock star?

She said her goodbyes to Ariel and hung up, closing her eyes and leaning back against the wall once again. Maybe once she opened them again, everything would have been put to rights and the last few minutes would not have happened.

Belle had just about managed to put her grocery store mortification to the back of her mind and was trying very hard to forget that Rum Gold even existed, let alone that he appeared to have lived in the same town as her for several years without her noticing.

Unfortunately, fate had decided that she was going to be reminded of it all rather forcibly and rather sooner than she expected. It was the day after her revelation and Belle was sitting behind the issue desk in the library, half concentrating on her book and half keeping an eye on the gaggle of giggling teenagers who’d gathered in the Harlequin romance section. She didn’t pay it much mind when the door opened and someone came in. People didn’t often come straight up to the issue desk when they entered. If they were in a hurry to return items then they used the dropbox outside, otherwise they went off into the stacks to browse. Belle was therefore rather surprised when the figure came up to her, especially since he didn’t appear to have any books to return.

She recognised him just a moment later and she felt her face flush with embarrassment as she remembered the previous day. Still, she was a professional, as much as she might want to slide out of her chair and slither under the desk out of sight.

“Welcome to Storybrooke Library,” she said, far too brightly even for her, and Ariel had described her as a walking ray of sunshine once. “How can I help you?”

“Erm…” Unless she was very much mistaken, Rum was looking just as embarrassed as she felt. “I just wanted to apologise. I overheard your conversation with your friend outside the store yesterday and I think I’m the reason you didn’t get your cookies yesterday. And now I’ve just admitted to overhearing private conversations and acting on them, which is probably worse. Just… Here you go.” He held out a pack of Oreos. Belle stared at it for a moment, feeling like she’d suddenly stumbled into a parallel universe in which nothing made sense. Finally, she took the packet and stowed it in her desk drawer. As happy as she was to have her cookies after all, she was still reeling.

“Thank you,” she said, eventually remembering her manners. “How did you know where to find me?”

Rum shrugged. “You’re not the only one who remembers seeing faces around.” There was a long, screamingly awkward pause, and Belle still wasn’t entirely sure that she wasn’t dreaming, and that this was actually the same dream as the one in the grocery store. She was talking to Rum Gold, her favourite musician, the man she’d had a crush on for so many years; and she knew now he was standing in front of her, she still had a crush on him.

Rum suddenly spoke. “You know, I’ve been living here for six years and you’re the first person who’s ever recognised me.” He paused. “At least, I think you are. Perhaps everyone else in town knows my identity and I just haven’t noticed.”

Belle grimaced. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s ok. It’s not your fault.”

“It’s the beard,” Belle said. “It throws everyone else off.” She cringed inwardly as soon as the words were out of her mouth, but Rum just gave a soft chuckle.

“Yeah, that must be it.”

“Ok, in all honesty, I’ve had the Believe or Leave farewell tour on the brain for the last couple of days. You were at the forefront of my mind anyway.”

Rum nodded, but something in his expression had become grave at the mention of the band. As desperately as Belle wanted to know what was going on, she knew that it wasn’t her place to pry. Rum had been living here incognito for years, and evidently wanted to keep it that way.

“Well, I hope you enjoy the cookies,” he said, after a few more moments of staring at each other.

“I will, thank you.” With that he was gone, walking out of her life again as quickly as he’d entered it. Still stunned, Belle reached for her phone, intending to apprise Ariel of the latest developments, but something stopped her. If it wasn’t for the very real cookies, she’d be convinced she’d nodded off with her head on the desk, and she wanted to keep this meeting to herself for a little while. She doubted that she was the only person in town who’d recognised Rum during his time here, but she’d been the only one to be so overt about it. Either way, there was an understanding between them now, and she didn’t want to break that bond by relaying everything to a third party, even one whom she trusted with her life like Ariel.

No, for now, this conversation would be her little secret.

Belle knew that there had to be some kind of psychological phenomenon whereby once your attention had been drawn to something, you started to notice it all the time, seeing it more often even if it wasn't around any more often than it was before. Whatever the phenomenon was, she was experiencing it now with Rum Gold. Since seeing him in the grocery store and his subsequent cookie delivery trip to the library, it felt like she was spotting him all over the place - in the pharmacy, getting take-out from the diner, just walking down the street. Logically she knew that he probably wasn't out and about any more frequently than he used to be, but now that she had recognised him, she recognised him everywhere.

She shook her head crossly. There wasn't exactly a lot that she could do about seeing him so frequently. They did live in the same town, after all. She shouldn't be reading anything into it and she definitely shouldn't be wondering what would happen if their paths were to cross again. She'd managed to get through her life in Storybrooke thus far without knowing that Rum was living among them, surely she could continue her life as it was before her blissful ignorance had been shattered. If Rum was trying to live here incognito and she was the only person who had overtly recognised him, then he probably wouldn't take too kindly to her bumping into him again.

All the same, she couldn't help thinking back to the cookies. He'd been under no obligation to do that, and yet he'd still sought her out. He had noticed her in the same way that she had noticed him. It felt like they were sharing a secret in a way, the two of them possessed of knowledge forbidden to the rest of the town.

Belle was determined nevertheless not to think any more on the subject. It was just one of life's coincidences, that was all. Her resolve in this matter lasted all of four hours until she went to the diner for her lunch that day and recognised Rum's Cadillac in the parking lot. She stopped short and groaned. How was this fair? She couldn't forget about the whole thing if she kept bumping into him.

Belle steeled herself and squared her shoulders, walking towards the diner with purpose. She had just as much right to be here as anyone else and she wasn't going to let avoidance get in the way of getting her lunch.

She entered the diner and walked up to the take-out counter, placing her order with Ruby and beginning to hang around. Rum was there too beside her, waiting for his order, and Belle kept glancing sideways at him. Should she say something? Should she not? Would it be best to pretend that she hadn’t seen him? If she said something now, would be it weird that she’d left it so long before saying anything? Was he going to say anything? How could she tell if he wanted her to ignore him or not?

Rum saved her from her spiralling train of thought.

“Hello again. It seems like we’re destined to keep running into each other.”

“Yeah. Suddenly you’re everywhere. I mean, I keep seeing you everywhere, not that you literally are everywhere at once. And I’m sure that you’re not everywhere any more than you were before, I just…” Belle trailed off on seeing Rum’s amused little smile, feeling her face flush. “I’ll stop talking now.”

“No, it’s fine. I’ve been thinking along the same lines myself now that I keep seeing you everywhere, although probably no more frequently than I saw you before.”

Granny brought his order out at that point and he turned to leave.

“Well, I guess I’ll keep seeing you around. Till next time.”

It was such a simple and subtle sentence, and yet with it, a certain level of permission had been given. They were acquaintances now; they could stop and say hello to each other on the occasions that they met. Belle smiled as she continued to wait for her sandwich. She wasn’t going to go out of her way to meet him, but at the same time, she wasn’t going to have to avoid him either. She could just go about her daily life, and the times when they did meet would not be awkward.

They saw each other a couple of times over the next couple of weeks, never to speak to, but enough to exchange a smile and nod. It was getting to the stage where Belle could predict his routine, and no doubt he could predict hers as well. She kept forgetting that the recognition went both ways, perhaps because she had never been famous and considered herself practically unrecognisable when compared with Rum.

They were back in the diner when they got the chance to speak again, just making general small talk. Granny looked at them shrewdly as she brought the take-out orders out.

“You know, if you two want to continue the conversation then there’s space at the counter.”

“Oh no, no, it’s ok.” They were both speaking at the same time and Granny just looked at them with a raised eyebrow. She nodded towards the counter.

“Go and sit down. I’ll bring you some plates.”

Cowed by Granny’s force, they went over to the counter and took their seats. For a few minutes, the conversation was awkward and stilted, but once the plates had arrived, everything seemed to fall into place. They were just two people with a mutual interest in each other, getting to know each other over lunch. Although before Belle had worried about being starstruck, now that she was here with Rum in such mundane circumstances, those fears melted away. They unconsciously steered away from the topics that would bring them back into the dichotomy of famous person and fan, and it could have been any other first date.

Was it a date?

The conversation continued until Belle checked her watch and sighed. “I have to go; I need to open the library up again, but it’s been nice talking to you.” She paused. “Maybe we could do it again?”

Rum nodded. “Yes, it’s been great. I’d like to do it again. Same time on Friday?”

Belle smiled. “That sounds perfect.”

“You know, when Ariel suggested that you’d been shut up in a cabin here in Storybrooke ever since the band broke up, I didn’t believe her.”

Rum just laughed, bringing a cup of tea over to Belle as she gazed at his wall of memorabilia and accolades, taking everything in.

They had been going out for a few weeks; it was the first time that she had come to Rum’s home, and she had been forced to eat her earlier words to Ariel of a few months ago when she had followed the GPS to his address and had discovered that he did in fact live in a cabin in the middle of nowhere, out by the river – and he had been living there for some time by the looks of things.

“I wanted the solitude,” he said. “I figured that it was less likely that people would recognise me if I was only in the town for buying essentials rather than living in the centre.”

“I guess we kind of ruined that when we started dating,” Belle said. “Although, I can’t really bring myself to be sorry about that.”

“No, me neither.” Rum smiled, taking a sip of his own tea. “I’d far rather that I’d met you and got to know you than I’d stayed shut up out here for the rest of my days.”

“That means an awful lot, you know, considering just how much of a recluse you’ve been.” Belle paused. So far during their dating life, they had never really talked about the band, as much as Belle had wanted to delve further into it, it was clear that it belonged to a past that Rum wanted to put behind him. They had focussed on the present instead, on the people that they were now and where their current interests lay, which made a lot more sense. They were dating each other, not their selves from ten years ago at the height of the band’s fame. It would not do to get hung up on the image of a man that no longer existed. Once Belle had got to know him, she had found that she liked the real Rum Gold far more than she had ever liked the stage persona she had known before, and her attraction to him based on qualities other than the aesthetic and his singing abilities had grown tenfold.

Now though, being in his home and seeing all the evidence of his past life here on display rather than hidden away, Belle was beginning to wonder whether the band wasn’t quite such as taboo a topic as she had always thought it was. It was clear that Rum’s life was still very much dominated by music. There was evidence of it everywhere in the cabin, and the staved paper on the small piano in the corner showed that he was still writing songs even now.

“Rum…”

“Yes, Belle?”

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but I feel I need to ask because music is clearly still such a large part of your life even since the band broke up… Why did the band break up?”

Rum sighed, and he didn’t answer for a long time, going over to the dresser and taking up a photo frame, staring at it for a long time before bringing it back over to Belle.

“I lost my son,” he said eventually. “It happened very suddenly, and in that moment, it felt like my life was over too. Everything just ground to a halt. I couldn’t fathom a way to continue doing what I’d been doing after I lost Bae. Just taking a break whilst I could work through my grief wasn’t going to cut it. I needed to cut the ties completely. All things considered, Vic and Jeff were very understanding about the whole thing.”

“I’m so sorry.” Belle reached out and took Rum’s free hand, squeezing tightly. “Have you really been alone for all this time then?”

Rum nodded. “Until I started getting to know you, of course.” He gave another long sigh. “By the time I was ready to start getting my life back on track, the bridges had been burned, you know. There was no going back, not after I’d left so suddenly. And we’d all grown up and grown older and grown apart since then.”

It was a sudden realisation. More than music simply still being a part of Rum’s life and him still being proud of the achievements he’d made with the band, he was actively missing those days.

“Have you spoken to either of them at all since you went your separate ways?” Belle asked.

Rum shook his head. “I didn’t want to muddy the waters. They both went on to successful solo careers after all, and I just faded into obscurity, holing up here like a recluse and living off my royalties. They probably didn’t want to be reminded of the past.”

“Rum, you know that they’ve just announced a new tour,” Belle pointed out gently. “They definitely do want to be reminded of the past, and Jefferson’s said in interviews that he would love for you to come back.”

“I know.”

“So… What have you got to lose?”

Rum shook his head. “I don’t know, Belle. It’s been so long. You know that feeling when you procrastinate doing something, but then it gets to the stage that you’ve procrastinated it for so long that it’s even more difficult to start, so you just keep on procrastinating it until it becomes a vicious cycle?”

Belle nodded. “Yes, I know that feeling only too well. But you have to break out of the circle and bite the bullet sooner rather than later. Don’t you think that you might as well do it and see what they say, rather than keep putting it off and it becoming ever more awkward. It’s not going to get any easier. These things never do. I think we both know that from experience.”

Rum nodded. “I know. It’ll just get the stage where it’s impossible. If it isn’t already.”

“Nothing is impossible when you put your mind to it,” Belle said. “And whatever happens, I’m right here with you. I’ve got your back, and you can blame me if it all goes wrong.”

Rum gave a snort of laughter. “I’m holding you to that, although I think when it comes down to it, I could never blame you for anything.”

“Oh, I may look like butter wouldn’t melt, but Ariel will tell you that there’s a dark horse in here.” Belle realised the connotations of what she’d said and blushed. “Sorry, that came out way dirtier than I intended it to.”

Rum just laughed. “Oh Belle. I’m so glad that I met you.”

No matter what might happen with the rest of the band, Belle was very glad that she had met Rum, too.

Belle was surprised when she turned onto the track that led up towards Rum’s cabin, because for the first time, there were other cars parked up outside the house. For a long time, she sat in the middle of the track with the engine idling, wondering whether she should continue now that she knew Rum had company. Logic told her that she should have called ahead and asked if he was free, but she had been dating Rum for long enough now to know that he rarely looked at his phone if he was in the middle of composing, and he had always welcomed her impromptu visits before. Besides, he hardly ever went anywhere so she was almost guaranteed to find him at home whenever she turned up on the doorstep.

She had become so used to his solitary, reclusive lifestyle, only marginally less reclusive now that she was in it, that the notion of his having other visitors simply hadn’t crossed her mind.

Belle wondered who it could be; she knew that Rum had no family to speak of. Before she could think any more on it, her phone began to ring. Grabbing it, she saw that Rum was the caller and she groaned; he had obviously noticed her lurking outside.

“Hi Rum.”

“Hi yourself. You know, you’re going to waste a lot of gas just idling in the lane like that. Why don’t you keep driving forwards and come into the house?”

“You’ve got guests,” Belle pointed out, although Rum knew that he had guests, so she wasn’t sure why she said it.

“I do, and I would like to introduce you to my friends.”

Belle’s heart turned a somersault. Could it be?

“I’ll be right in.”

The front door opened as she pulled up outside, and Rum greeted her with a smile.

“I can see you’re stunned,” he said. “I know, it’s amazing. I do actually know other people.” He kissed her cheek softly as he took her coat, before leading her through to where the guests were sitting in front of the empty fireplace, watching her with interest. Two of the faces were immediately familiar.

“Belle, this is Vic Whale and Jefferson Milliner, and Jefferson’s boyfriend Graham. Everyone, this is Belle.”

“So, you must be the one we need to thank for getting the band back together,” Jefferson said. “Quite literally in fact.” He jumped up out of his chair and bounded across to Belle, throwing his arms around her. “Thank you so much. I’m glad that someone was able to get into his thick skull.”

Belle looked at Rum, who was looking slightly sheepish.

“I just took your advice,” he said. “And everything worked out well, as you can see.”

“I told you that you had nothing to worry about.”

“That’s the last time I don’t listen to you.”

Belle just smiled, and after Jefferson finally released her from his bear hug, she slipped an arm around Rum’s waist. “Ah, but you did listen to me in the end, and that’s what matters.”

The next few hours would definitely count among the most memorable of Belle’s life, watching Rum, Jefferson and Vic interact, reminiscing about old times and discussing plans for the tour now that Rum had decided to be a part of it. She felt very honoured to be in this position, gaining such an insight into the music that had been part of her life for so long, a backstage pass in a way. Eventually, Vic and Jefferson took their leave to go and check into the inn in the middle of town. Belle wondered if she’d get a frantic message from Ariel in a few minutes saying that she’d seen the rest of Believe or Leave rocking up in Storybrooke and was there something that Belle was keeping from her?

Left alone with Rum, Belle cuddled in close to his side on the sofa.

“Are you glad that you made the call?” she asked.

“Oh Belle, you have no idea how glad.” Rum sighed wistfully. “It was just like old times, as if I’d never been away and we hadn’t all lived separate lives these past few years. Except, it wasn’t really, because you and Graham were here, which you never were before, but at the same time, it was like you’ve always been here as well.” He paused. “I’ve got so used to you being in my life now that I don’t like to think about the time before you were in it. I thought that being alone was what I wanted, but now that I look back, it feels so empty in comparison to the life I have now.”

Belle reached up and stroked Rum’s cheek gently. “You’ve been alone for so long that you forgot that you don’t have to be. But you don’t have to be, and life is easier when you’re not alone.”

Rum caught her fingers and brought them to his lips, pressing soft kisses over her knuckles.

“Much easier,” he said. “And much happier. I’m still daunted by what I’ve agreed to do, but whatever happens, I’m glad that I’ll have you by my side for it. I will have you by my side, won’t I?”

He sounded so nervous and unsure that Belle thought actions would speak louder than words in this scenario, slipping her arms around his neck and pulling him in for a long, deep kiss, pouring all of her feelings out into it. By the time she pulled away, Rum was looking completely dumbstruck.

“I will always be by your side.”

If someone had asked Belle a year ago where she thought she would be now, she certainly would never have guessed upon the correct answer. Here she was, standing just off the stage at the first show of Believe or Leave’s farewell tour. The venue was a sell-out and tickets had been highly sought after online, so much so that the band had added extra dates to the tour to keep up with popular demand. Rum hadn’t been able to believe that so many people were still interested in their music. Still, he certainly couldn’t fault the crowd’s enthusiasm or their reactions. Belle was already wearing earplugs given her proximity to the massive speakers, but she felt that she needed another set to get over the roar of the spectators. She glanced over at Graham, who was standing with her, and he flashed her a huge grin and thumbs up. This was old hat for Graham; he’d stood in the same place for many of Jefferson’s solo concerts, but Belle was still drinking in all of the atmosphere. Whatever she might have been doing in that vision a year ago, she knew without a doubt that she would rather be right here.

It hadn’t been plain sailing of course. Once it had been announced that Rum was joining Jefferson and Victor for the farewell tour after all, somehow all the journalists who’d failed to find him for seven years miraculously knew where he was and descended on Storybrooke, putting something of a dampener on the still-new relationship between him and Belle. Still, they’d persevered, with Rum escaping to the anonymity of the big city to go and rehearse with the rest of the group and Belle travelling back and forth to see him. The few weekends that they’d managed to spend together at the cabin, once the press furore had died down, had been absolutely blissful, and as excited as she was for the tour, Belle was very much anticipating getting back to that. Rum may have agreed to the tour, but a full reunion was out of the question. In a way, doing this series of concerts was going to provide closure for himself as much as for the fans who’d made his career.

They were reaching the end of the evening, saving their most popular songs for last, and Belle was looking forward to hearing all of her favourites. She was surprised when Rum came to the front of the stage, taking the spotlight from Jefferson, who bowed out with his usual flourish.

“Hello everyone,” he said. The crowd went wild with just those two words; considering they hadn’t heard from him for years half a sentence now was practically gold-dust. He waited for the clamour to die down before he continued. “I know that this is a farewell tour, and we’re not showcasing any new material, but there is just one new song that I would like to play for you today. This is inspired by and dedicated to the remarkable woman who convinced me to be here tonight, and I’d like to say thank you to her. If it wasn’t for meeting her, I wouldn’t be on this stage in front of you. This song is for Belle.”

He glanced over into the wings, smiling at her. Belle couldn’t move. This was… This was an incredible surprise. How had he managed to write an entire song for her without her noticing? She supposed that there had been a lot of time in the last few months when they’d been apart whilst he’d been practising with Vic and Jefferson, but even so, music was Rum’s life and he was always working on something or other whilst he was in the cabin, and he was as cluttered as they made them. She was sure she would have tripped over something that would have given her some indication that this was coming.

The song was beautiful. Rum had always been best at writing the ballads and he’d broken many a teenage heart with his music and lyrics, including Belle’s own, but this one was more upbeat, a happy tune, an anthem of positivity and being able to move on from the past and embrace the new, of renewed hope and finding reasons to live.

After the song’s final bars died away, there was a moment of reverent silence from the crowd of listeners. Belle wondered what they were thinking. She’d loved it, but then, it had been for her, and she’d known that Rum had been thinking of her whilst he’d been singing it and writing it. There was already so much of her in it despite it being the first time she’d heard it.

She really needn’t have worried. After it had had couple of seconds to fully sink in, the audience went ballistic, and Belle joined them. It was nothing if not a triumph, and there was a definite sense of pride in knowing that the triumph was in part inspired by her.

The concert continued to go from strength to strength from there, the crowd growing ever more vociferous as the best and most well-loved songs were played. The applause and cheering were still earth-shattering as the band came off stage. They would go back out for a final encore, but in the couple of minutes’ respite, Rum only had eyes for Belle. He came over, sweeping her up in his arms and kissing her.

“Oh Rum,” she said once he finally let her go – although she would have been quite happy for him to have kept holding on to her forever. “That was absolutely wonderful. You were amazing.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you.” He smiled, and even after all this time of being together, there was still a shyness and disbelief in it. He was having as much trouble accepting that he was really here as Belle was.

“I’m just glad that I could help to get you back here where you belong.” She slipped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for another kiss. “Go on, you should get back out there or they’ll be thinking that you’ve disappeared again.”

Rum gave a theatrical sigh. “Ah, the adoring and clamouring public. Ever am I their servant.”

Belle just batted his arm playfully. “Go on. I’ll still be here when you get back. Give them a finale that they’ll never forget. They deserve it. So do you.”

Rum laughed and kissed her forehead. “I love you, Belle. Thank you so much for being part of my life.”

Belle smiled. “I love you too.”

He dragged himself away then, returning to the stage with Vic and Jefferson for a final deafening encore of applause. Belle couldn’t help but join in.

The last few months had been a whirlwind, but they had been wonderful. The next few months of the tour would be just as colourful, but Belle wouldn’t change it for the world. Everything was going to be great.

#rumbelle fic #rumbelle #Belle French #Mr Gold #Rock Band AU #AU-gust #Worry does AU-gust #Fic: Believe or Leave

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dragonydreams · 4 years ago

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Fic: Birthday Wishes and Christmas Dreams - Captain Canary

Title: Birthday Wishes and Christmas Dreams Fandom: DC's Legends of Tomorrow Rating: General Audience Pairings/Characters: Sara Lance/Leonard Snart Summary: Sara glanced up, a small smile curving on her lips at the sight of the object of her thoughts. Timeline: post S2 Word Count: 1,005 Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over these characters. I am merely borrowing them from Berlanti Productions, DC Entertainment, and Warner Bros. Television. Betas: Thank you to angelskuuipo and shanachie for looking this over for me. Author's Note: This is my @captaincanarysecretsanta2020 gift for @ranger-of-estel! It got a bit serious, but has a happy ending. I hope you enjoy it.

It was late on the Waverider, but Sara was wide awake. She hadn't even bothered trying to sleep, not with so much running through her brain tonight.

Leonard Snart - her Leonard - was alive. They'd found him in the time stream near where the Oculus had exploded when they'd gone back to make sure the "Legion of Doom" hadn't left any surprises behind after they'd been defeated.

They'd put him in her old room, now that she'd officially moved into the Captain's quarters.

"Isn't this cozy?" a familiar drawl said from the doorway.

Sara glanced up, a small smile curving on her lips at the sight of the object of her thoughts; as if she'd conjured him. Although if she'd had that power, he would have been found much sooner.

As his words sank in, she glanced around the library. Jax had done a great job when he'd created this room. With the wood paneling and floor, it felt like a room back on Earth, not like they were on a time traveling spaceship. There was a Christmas tree set up near one of the doors, the small twinkling lights glowing softly. The monitor on the wall was displaying a roaring fire, every so often emitting the sound of a log crackling. Sara herself was curled up under a blanket on a comfortable loveseat that someone (probably Nate) had recently fabricated, a book open but unread on her lap.

Her eyes slid back to the man in the doorway who was wearing a black robe over his pajamas. In his hands, he held two mugs in the shape of reindeer heads.

"What are you holding?" Sara giggled.

"Hot cocoa," Leonard answered, crossing the room to hand Sara one of the mugs.

"I meant the mugs. Where on Earth did you find these? I know I haven't seen them in our cupboards."

"The West house," Leonard answered. Sara simply raised an eyebrow in question, even as she gestured to the open seat next to her, shifting to make room for him. Leonard sat with one leg curled under his body so his knee pressed lightly against Sara's hip and pulled the blanket to cover his lap, too, with a smirk. "A few years ago I broke into Barry's house - technically Joe West's house - and helped myself to his hot cocoa. They had these mugs."

"They were originally from a store called The Pottery Barn," Gideon helpfully added. "Mr. Snart asked me to fabricate them."

"You broke into Barry's home to make hot cocoa?" Sara asked, doubtfully.

"I broke in to warn him about the Weather Wizard and Trickster's plans, but he wasn't there and I got bored," Leonard clarified.

"Ah yes, the beginnings of your heroism," Sara teased. "So, what, you were feeling nostalgic?"

"I suppose," Leonard admitted. "So much has changed in the past year." He gestured to the room they were in. "This didn't even exist the last time I was on the Waverider. The team has lost and gained members. Makes me wonder if I even have a place here anymore."

"Yes," Sara said emphatically, catching his hand with her free one. Leonard turned his head to meet her eyes. "As long as I'm captain, you will always have a place here, if you want it."

Leonard took a sip of his cocoa, swallowing around the sudden lump in his throat. Apparently all that time in stasis in the time stream had turned him into a sap.

He cleared his throat after a minute, "Besides, it's Christmas Eve, from what I hear, and it was nearly Christmas when I'd made cocoa at Barry's."

"Technically, it's Christmas Day," Sara said. "It's well after midnight."

"In that case, Happy Birthday," Leonard said, raising his mug.

"You remembered," Sara said with a grin, clinking her mug against his and taking a sip. The cocoa really was very good.

"Hasn't been that long for me," he reminded her. "Is that what has you up so late?"

"Not at all." Taking another sip and then a deep breath, she admitted, "I was thinking about me, and you, and me and you."

She heard Leonard's breath catch at those words that had been echoing through her mind for the past year. Words that meant a future with the man sitting next to her that was ripped away before she could even start to contemplate what they could be.

"And what the future might hold, now that I once again have a future?" Leonard guessed.

"I really wanted you to steal that kiss," Sara admitted.

"I seem to recall that you stole one first."

"Seemed like it was going to be my only chance to kiss you."

"And that's something you still want? You haven't found someone else while I've been...gone?"

Sara shrugged one shoulder. "I've had a few flings during our travels, but nothing with anyone on board. A part of me was still mourning our lost opportunity."

Leonard plucked the mug from Sara's hand and set both mugs on the floor before sliding closer to her.

He was watching her so intently that Sara couldn't help smiling. She hooked one leg over his, using it to pull him even closer as she leaned forward to meet his lips.

"My Assassin," Leonard breathed against her lips before closing the remaining distance between them. He brought one hand up to cup her cheek, pulling her closer.

Sara whimpered into the kiss, a single tear escaping her eye to roll down her cheek until it landed against Leonard's thumb. He brushed the tear away, drawing back to search her eyes.

"It was a happy tear, I promise," Sara said. "I just never thought this would happen. It's the best birthday present a girl could ask for."

With a hand on the back of Leonard's neck, she drew him back to her waiting lips, not wanting to waste another moment thinking about the past year without him. Not when they could be doing this for the rest of their lives.

The End

#captain canary fic #captain canary #sara lance/leonard snart #sara lance #leonard snart #legends of tomorrow fic #Fic: Birthday Wishes and Christmas Dreams #captaincanarysecretsanta2020

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sadclearance · 4 years ago

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i don’t miss you at all

pairing: mahiru koizumi x female!reader

summary: mahiru misses y/n. (i don't miss you at all by finneas)

category: past fluff, angst, songfic

warning(s): minor suicidal thought for like a second, no actual suicide, non-graphic accidental death

word count: 1300

key:

italicized - past

bold and italicized - lyrics

i swear i don't

"i love you, mahiru," y/n said, giant grin growing even bigger.

miss you at all

"it's nothing, really," mahiru tried to subtly hide her face from her lover, embarrassed of how red those words made her.

"i'm serious! i'm not letting you act like it's nothing. you're the best girlfriend ever," y/n engulfed her.

and i barely still remember

"if anything, you are for letting me use you as my model," mahiru avoided taking the credit again. "thanks to you, i got recognized by real professional photographers out there. it's more like i'm hanging up my gold medals."

"oh, shut up. you did that by yourself with your talent. i'm glad i could be a part of your recognition," y/n kissed mahiru with a smile. "still can't believe you put up all these pictures of me."

"it's normal for people to hang up beautiful works of art."

who's in the pictures on my wall

'cause no i can't

"you smell like flowers," mahiru commented while being embraced by y/n.

"i'm glad you noticed," y/n smiled as she pulled back. "you said your favorite place that you've ever been to was mexico. did you know that tuberose are native there?"

"no, i didn't know that," mahiru smiled as she watched y/n talk animatedly about her newfound knowledge.

recall your scent

mahiru picks up the bottle of ridiculously overpriced perfume.

y/n had continuously bought it just because of that story mahiru had told her about her favorite travel spot.

mahiru had always found it ridiculous and unnecessary, but she couldn't deny that it made her all warm and fuzzy inside.

mahiru throws it in the trash can, ignoring the loud crashing of the glass.

jasmine, tuberose and lily

"stop doing that," mahiru made a face.

"but you just went to pari'. i must recreate the french girls you must 'ave missed," y/n continued on despite mahiru's protests.

"it's nowhere near close to how french people sound," mahiru smacked y/n's arm lightly. "and the only girl i've ever missed is you."

"okay, okay, i'll stop if you stop being such a cheeseball," y/n made a face of her own with a laugh.

or your silly french accent

all but forgotten

"you know, i read a book the other day."

"you, reading? i don't think so," mahiru joked.

"hey! anyway, it was an american book. the great gatsby."

"yeah, i've heard of that before," mahiru nodded as she continued to mess with the controls of her new camera.

about those eyes

"well, your beautiful green eyes are like the green light to me."

"oh, shut up, you flirt!"

the shade of green that if he'd seen would make f. scott fitzgerald cry

but i won't

the alarm clock on her bedside table flashes "2:00am" in an agitating red. it's been that color since forever, but it bothers mahiru a little more than usual tonight.

she blames that for her not being able to sleep.

she reluctantly grabs her phone from the bedside table and turns her alarm clock away so that it's no longer facing her.

she scrolls through some old photos, but they don't help ease the discomfort in her heart. she sighs exasperatedly at her own mistake and swipes out of the app.

she avoids the green icon with the telephone on it for as long as she can will until she eventually gives in, tapping the latest call.

"the number you have dialed is no longer in use."

break down at two a.m. and call

'cause i don't

mahiru throws her phone across the room, even if she knew that this would happen because she's been doing it every night.

miss you at all

neglecting the phone that she just threw, mahiru turns to her side.

and i'm sleeping fine

she closes her eyes, but her mind won't shut off for a while. she frowns as she gets more melatonin.

i don't mean to boast

mahiru wakes up feeling uneasy, her heart beating rapidly. she knows she must've been tensed up the entire time she was asleep because her shoulders are stiff and her limbs feel strained.

but i only dream about you

it's like it's a part of her routine, and she knows what the results will be, but she takes more melatonin anyway. she supposes that restless sleep is better than none.

once or twice a night at most

mahiru sits down at teruteru's restaurant on a saturday night--a tradition that she's been neglecting for a few months.

and it feels so good

"haven't seen you for a while, mahiru," teruteru forgoes the usual perverted comment.

"yeah," mahiru nods. "been busy."

"well, what can i get for you?"

eating alone

"why don't we share?" y/n asked with a cheeky grin.

"you just want to try everything, don't you?" mahiru shook her head but couldn't help the amused smile.

"you want to make me happy, don't you?"

"only because your smile's my favorite thing to capture on camera."

i don't get distracted by your smile

"drive safe," teruteru waves when she starts to leave. "wait, i didn't mean--"

she ignores him and continues to walk to her car.

she gets going as fast as she can because even though she knows teruteru's comment was just a thoughtless goodbye, it bothers her, and she wants to get away.

there's a red light, and mahiru can't do anything but stop.

she takes the time to look at the passenger seat. she sighs at her own mistake as she finds herself unable to rip her eyes away. there's a nostalgic reminiscent feeling inside, but it's chased by something cold and hopeless.

her hand goes to touch the seat when the person behind her honks.

and miss the green lights driving home

no sign of stopping

she had been there so often, she always sort of went on autopilot when driving around these familiar parts.

by the time she's conscious of her surroundings, she's sure she's just a turn or so from her home.

the house isn't far

a song that isn't necessarily to mahiru's taste comes on the radio that she had turned on to serve as a distraction from her thoughts, and the hands on the wheel turn white with how hard she's gripping it.

but i think our song is coming on

she's never liked it, but she's always let it play because y/n liked it, and mahiru had loved the way y/n sang it so passionately, putting her soul into it. she remembers making some offhand comment about how loud and rude it could be considered, but she hadn't really meant it.

looking back on it, mahiru regrets saying that.

thinking of all of the things she regrets saying and not saying, she considers the power she holds, with her foot strong on the gas pedal.

and now i wanna crash the car

she frowns and lessens the pressure on the pedal, her car slowing down as she continues on the road.

but i won't

"y/n!" mahiru screamed in horror as an unconscious y/n was put on a gurney. she was held back by the nurse who was treating the minor injuries and scratches she had received from the crash.

make that mistake again and fall

"oh, y/n," mahiru cries loudly, as if she was reliving that painful day.

so i say i don't

she lets her head fall onto her steering wheel when she's parked, accidentally causing a loud honk that had no doubt irritated her neighbors at this late hour.

miss you at all

"why?" mahiru sobs. "why did you have to... why did i have to..."

and someday i won't

she cries harder, and she feels like she'll be stuck with this feeling for the rest of her days.

miss you at all

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

a/n;

5:33am - 6am i usually take like seven years to come up with an idea then actually finish writing it woah

i guess coming up with the idea thing is...

i wrote a songfic with this song almost a year ago for another fandom that i was only really in because i can't sit through and watch something longer than like a minute for--which gives you a hint on what it was--

and i liked the plot for it actually and wanted to reuse <3

and immediately mahiru came to mind because green eyes

most of the characters i choose for the oneshots are like on a whim or small reasons like that lol

#danganronpa mahiru #mahiru koizumi #koizumi mahiru #mahiru koizumi x female reader #koizumi mahiro x female reader #danganronpa #super danganronpa 2 #danganronpa x female reader #x female reader #female reader #wlw #female reader insert

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francofolle · 4 years ago

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im used to feeling nostalgic for pretty much any year, like ill dive back into playlists and just let myself miss how i felt then. but tonight im missing 2016 of all years and i do have some guesses as to why, but its still weird wanting to wrap myself in songs and fandoms i actually hid myself in back then. i mean idk im having a good time tonight but im definitely talking about this in therapy tomorrow.

#madeleine parle #my feelings lately have been a lot #watching my ouat youtube playlist is helping tonight so ill take it

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becasbelt · 5 years ago

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Chapters: 6/12 Fandom: Pitch Perfect (Movies) Rating: T Relationships: Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell Characters: Beca Mitchell, Chloe Beale, Dr. Mitchell (Pitch Perfect), Beca Mitchell's Mother, Aubrey Posen, Jesse Swanson Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, skateboarder!beca, Romance, Angst

* * *

CHAPTER 6

“So what’s up with you and Chloe?”

The question makes Beca glance up from inspecting a scrape on her forearm that came from sliding down the side of the bowl earlier. She squints at Jesse and turns her attention back to the cut. “Why do you care?’

“Because I’m in love with you and don’t want you to date her.”

That really makes her look up and actually pay attention, but when she sees the joking glint in Jesse’s eyes she scowls and squints. “Have I told you that I hate you?”

Jesse laughs. “Only every day since we met, buddy. And you’re avoiding the question.”

Beca sighs and grabs some medical tape to patch up her wound. She wraps her arm slowly as she thinks. “I don’t really know what we are, if I’m being honest,” she answers eventually. “I mean, we hang out a lot, and I think that she’s fun and cute, and I guess I’ve thought about starting something up, but…” Beca trails off and feels her cheeks flush as she realizes that she’s rambling.

“But you don’t actually want anything to happen?” Jesse tries to finish.

Beca shrugs and raises her forearm to her mouth to rip the bandage wrappings with her teeth. “It’s not that. It’s just...” she trails off again. “It’s complicated,” she finishes lamely.

Silence comes from Jesse at that, so Beca looks up at him to gauge his reaction. He’s looking at her curiously. “It’s complicated?” he asks.

Beca nods.

“Then don’t complicate it.”

Beca rolls her eyes. “Sure, okay. I’ll just un-complicate it,” she says sarcastically.

Jesse reaches over and flicks her forehead.

“Hey!”

“You have to get out of you head, Beca,” Jesse says, ignoring the icy glare Beca is shooting his way. “You want to be with Chloe. I know you do, even if you’ve been convincing yourself that you don’t.” Beca scoffs and stands up, board in hand as she heads over to an open spot to skate. Jesse hurries after her, carrying his own board, and quickly catches up to her.

“Look, I don’t know what your reasons are for wanting to stay away from Chloe, making yourself miserable as a result, but I think you should forget about them,” Jesse insists. Beca stops and turns around to face him. She looks at him irritably. Jesse softens. “She makes you better, Bec. Whenever you’re with her, you’re a completely different person; a happy person.”

The stubborness inside of her melts away. Beca’s shoulders slump forward and she drops her board on the ground to sit on it. Jesse mirrors her position. “She’s graduating, Jesse,” she says quietly, staring at the cement. “She’s graduating and I’m leaving after this year. I can’t start something only for it to be ripped away from me so quickly.”

Beca feels tears prick her eyes and she swallows, willing herself not to cry. The warm weight of Jesse’s hand comes to rest on her shoulder. She looks up at him to see a small smile on his face and surety in his eyes. “I may not be an expert on relationships,” he says gently, “but I do know that if you want something to work out, you can find a way to make it happen.”

Right at that moment, Beca’s phone buzzes in her back pocket. She pulls it out in front of her to see a Snapchat notification from Chloe. She opens it immediately to see a picture of Chloe in class, looking bored down at the camera. The text included reads “you’re so lucky your classes get done by 2.” It’s not all that exciting, but it still gets the corner of Beca’s mouth to lift a little.

Jesse hums across from her and she looks away from the picture and towards him. He has an I told you so expression on his face, and Beca hates that he might be a little bit right. She rolls her eyes, and he just laughs before patting the side of her knee and standing up. Jesse puts a foot on his board and prepares to ride away, but not before leaving her with a, “Just think about it, Beca.”

Beca looks back down at her phone and sees a follow-up text asking if Beca wanted to grab dinner tonight. She doesn’t hesitate to respond saying yes as she finally stops forcing herself to bury her thoughts and feelings.

She liked Chloe, damn it.

She liked her eyes and her hair and her smile. She liked the way Chloe could cheer her up when she was grouchy and the way she was so, so understanding. Chloe was the best thing that had happened to Beca in a long time, and Beca knew that nothing has made her this happy in years.

Chloe was music to Beca, and Beca was starting to believe that that wasn’t such a bad thing anymore.

When she was with Chloe, she wanted to sing. She wanted to laugh and goof off and forget about the darkness that lurked in her mind; made her want to tear down all of her walls.

With a start, Beca realizes that there are tears streaming down her cheeks. She laughs at the absurdity of it and wipes them away. She gets off the ground and jumps on her board to go catch up with wherever Jesse went, her mind more at peace now than ever before. She considers having a smoke to heighten her clarity, but decides against it.

No drugs could ever give her the same high that the feelings she had for Chloe Beale did.

* * *

Beca hears a door slam shut, her mother’s voice rising in anger soon after, and sighs. She reaches for her the large, bulky headphones that her father had given her for Christmas and slips them over her ears. The noise from her parent’s yelling immediately becomes muffled.

After about a year of the fighting, Beca knows that the best way to get through the fights is to try and drown them out. She reaches over to her iPod and plugs in the chord of her headphones before hitting shuffle. The shouting from downstairs becomes completely washed away as the sound of Green Day’s “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” fills her ears.

Beca turns her attention back to her homework, humming along to the song under her breath. The next song that comes up is “Wonderwall,” and for some reason it makes Beca take pause. She listens to the chord progression of the song for a moment before walking over to the keyboard set up in the corner of her room. Moving one of the headphone cups off her ear, Beca plays along with the song for a minute.

When the song ends, Beca goes back to Green Day. She listens for a moment and then plays along to it as well. Then, she goes back to the other song. After going back and forth for a while, Beca pauses the music completely and focuses solely on the notes she’s playing. The sound of her parents fighting in the other room is audible to her again, but that doesn’t bother her too much right now.

She was on to something.

Hesitantly, Beca starts to combine the melodies of the two songs. As she goes on experimenting, she realizes that it doesn’t sound all that bad. Excitement lights up within her and she rushes over to her computer, plugging in her headphones once she gets there.

Beca looks up the two songs and is thrilled to find that someone has already combined them into one mashup. She listens eagerly with a smile on her face until the very last note fades out. After that she listens again. And again.

And again.

Around the fourth or fifth time listening to the arrangement, Beca’s mind begins to turn with ideas- with possibilities. She starts thinking of things that she’d do differently; of how she could make it even better.

So, she looks up music programs, finds a free trail for a fairly simple looking one, and downloads it without a second thought. As soon as the program is on her computer, she dives in to start figuring it out.

Her parents’ voices drift away as Beca spends the rest of the night in her room on her laptop, attempting to combine two seemingly different songs into one.

It’s one of the greatest nights she can remember having in a long time.

* * *

The laptop’s harsh light shines on Beca’s face in the dark quiet of her dorm room. Beca slides her finger slowly over the trackpad and hovers her cursor over the icon to her mixing program. She questions what she’s doing – once again – before holding her breath a clicking. The familiar loading box pops up for a minute before the whole program fills her screen.

Beca releases her breath slowly at the sight. She hadn’t anticipated just how nostalgic she’d be upon returning to the mixing program, but she supposes it makes sense. It did, after all, get her through many rough years of her early teen years.

She drums her fingers on her desk and lets her eyes run over all the familiar tabs and tools at her disposal. She clicks on a few and finds that all her settings are still set to be just the way she likes them.

After another moment of putting off the inevitable, Beca launches into action. There’s no more hesitation in her movements or clicks- she knows exactly what she’s doing. The songs she’s chosen have been stuck in her head for weeks, her mind already brimming with ideas.

Beca’s glad Kimmy Jin isn’t there to see the small, content smile that comes over her face as she works. She wouldn’t want the other girl to think she actually cared about something.

* * *

“I have something for you.”

Beca says the words hesitantly, biting on her thumbnail. Chloe looks up at her from the other side of Beca’s bed. “Really? That’s exciting!”

A blinding grin is on the redhead’s face as she shuts her textbook and moves it to the side, sitting up a little more. Beca stands up from the bed and moves to her desk, waking up her laptop. “Yeah, I, uh, sort of made you something,” Beca says as she opens up her files, avoiding eye contact with Chloe. “It’s not a big deal and it probably sucks, so I totally don’t care if you hate it.”

Chloe scoffs. “Shut up, dork,” she scolds teasingly, moving to the side of the bed closer to the desk. “I’m sure it’s amazing, whatever it is.”

Beca looks at Chloe for a moment and, after deciding that the other girl was being genuine, hits the play button.

A mashup of “Titanium” and “Bulletproof” starts playing from the crappy speakers of Beca’s laptop. It had taken Beca all of about two days to make it; once she’d started she hadn’t been able to stop. The familiar addictive sensation of creating music had overtaken Beca, and she hadn’t wanted to stop for anything. Sure, she’d only gotten about six hours of sleep in the past forty-eight hours, but that didn’t matter.

What mattered now was the look on Chloe Beale’s face as she listened to Beca’s creation. Beca had shared her mixes with lots of people before: parents, friends, teachers. And while they had all seemed to enjoy them for the most part, none of them held a candle to Chloe’s reaction.

Chloe’s eyes had lit up upon hearing the opening notes of “Titanium” before her brow wrinkled slightly in intrigue when the melody of “Bulletproof” was laid over the top. Now, Chloe sat there with her mouth open in awe, a small smile playing at the corners of her lips, and light in her blue eyes.

The expression made Beca want to kiss her, but she ignored that urge for now.

After a few minutes, the final notes of the mix fade out slowly and Beca hits the spacebar on her laptop to prevent it from starting over again. She bites her lip nervously and looks at Chloe. “So? What’d you think?”

Chloe blinks and a wide grin spreads across her face. “You made that?” she asks in wonder.

Beca blushes and nods her head sheepishly. Chloe shoves her shoulder roughly, causing Beca to yelp in surprise.

“Why are you the actual most talented person I know?” Chloe demands, fake aggression in her voice. Beca laughs and steadies herself in her chair. “Seriously, it’s kind of annoying how amazing you are. You have to save some for the rest of us, Bec. Where did you learn to do that?”

Beca clears her throat and closes her laptop before joining Chloe back on the bed, sitting next to her instead of across from her this time. “Just something that I picked up around the end of middle school, I guess,” she says lightly. Chloe stares at her.

“Something you just ‘picked up’,” she repeats, using her fingers to make air quotes.

“Yeah, it was something that,” Beca looks down at her hands in her lap for a moment and clears her throat. “Something that helped to distract me when things were rough at home.”

Chloe’s eyebrows wrinkle in concern. “How so?”

Beca twists her fingers together and focuses on them as she talks. “My parents got divorced when I was fifteen,” she starts. “Naturally, they fought a lot in the years leading up to their split, so I would put on headphones and drown out their voices with music whenever I could. It helped out a little, I guess,” Beca chuckles humorously. “They fought so much that I was able to get actually pretty good at making mixes. Practice makes perfect and all that. Only problem is now all I can associate mixing with is fighting and how sucky that time of my life was.”

A hand comes into Beca’s vision to cover up both of hers twisted together in her lap. Beca looks up to see Chloe’s caring blue eyes trained on her. “I’m sorry you had to go through that,” she says quietly. Sincerely.

Beca shrugs. “A lot of kids go through it,” she says with a sad smile. “I’m not any different than any other person that’s been fucked up from divorce.”

Chloe squeezes her hand. “Still, no child should have to go through that.” Her expression suddenly hardens. “And don’t you dare call yourself fucked up, Beca Mitchell,” she says firmly, bringing up a hand point it accusingly in Beca’s face. “I don’t want to hear you say that about yourself ever again.”

Something in Beca’s heart snaps or melts or something and Beca finds herself becoming overwhelmed with emotion. Those words, spoken with such surety, with such conviction, creep over Beca’s walls and settle heavily inside her heart. Because the thing is, no one has said something like that to her in a long time.

Her mother was convinced that they were both messed up after the split. She always told Beca that things would never be the same again, and that a piece of themselves would always be broken.

The therapist her school counselor had forced her to see during her junior year of high school had given up on Beca when it became apparent that she wasn’t going to talk about her feelings. Teachers yelled at her and murmured under their breaths about how she was “trouble.”

Her father, maybe the biggest culprit of all, always telling her that she wasn’t going to amount to anything. That she didn’t know what she wanted. That she would never know what she wanted.

Yet, here sat a girl that Beca has known less than a year, telling her that she was not messed up, that she was better than her past. Beca didn’t know if she could completely believe her quite yet, but she wanted to, because Chloe made her feel good. Chloe made her feel like she was worth something again.

Made her feel loved.

So, Beca takes a shaky breath and reaches a hand up to rest on Chloe’s cheek. “Then maybe the only thing fucked up here is how much you mean to me, Chlo,” she murmurs before tilting her head and connecting their lips.

The kiss is soft and brief, and Beca pulls back from it after only a few seconds. She opens her eyes and sees that Chloe’s eyes are shut, but they, too, open a moment later. They both hold their breaths for a beat before something flashes in Chloe’s eyes and she’s pulling Beca back to her with a hand on the back of her neck.

This kiss is rough and passionate, and Beca feels like she’s losing control of her own body. She slowly leans back against her pillows, pulling at Chloe incessantly until the other girl’s body covers her own. One of Beca’s hands tangles itself in red locks while the other slips under Chloe’s shirt, the feeling of hard abdominal muscles only spurring her on. Chloe slips her tongue into her mouth a moment later, and Beca can’t help the moan that escapes in response.

When Chloe breaks her mouth away from Beca’s she doesn’t go very far. She hovers over Beca, panting, and says, “Do you have any idea what putting ‘Titanium’ in that mix did to me?”

Beca lets out a breathy chuckle. “I think I’m starting to get a pretty good idea.”

Not a lot of words are shared after that. Chloe spends time kissing up and down Beca’s neck, never lingering in any place long enough to leave a mark, yet still leaving little nips on the sensitive skin here and there. When Beca feels like she’ll combust if that goes on any longer, she drags Chloe’s lips back to her own.

Eventually their frenzied passion fades away until all that’s left between them is slow, lazy kisses that draw pleasant hums from the back of Chloe’s throat. The senior pulls away with a final nip to Beca’s bottom lip and shifts to the side so that she’s resting her weight on one half of Beca’s body. “I guess now is a good time to tell you that I kind of like you,” she says as she gets settled comfortably, looking up at Beca.

“Only kind of?” Beca asks in a teasing tone, one eyebrow rising challengingly. Chloe giggles and brushes a lock of hair away from Beca’s eyes.

“Okay, kind of a lot,” she amends, and Beca’s eyes crinkle in affection.

“I like you, too,” Beca tells Chloe quietly.

Chloe grins before stretching up to reach for the laptop sitting on the desk above their heads. “Do you have any other mixes you can show me?”

The laptop is placed on Beca’s lap and she sits up a little to prop herself up against the headboard. Chloe follows suit and leans into her side. “I might have one or two that I can show you.”

And it’s weird, because Beca hasn’t done any of this in years, hasn’t even considered going through her music ever since the experience of making them became tainted with hurt. But at the same time it’s not strange at all, because Chloe is excited next to her and likes her and wants Beca to share this part of her life with her.

So Beca plays her a mix, followed by another one, and another, and countless others after that. And with each one that they listen to, Beca can feel the old, hard memories being replaced with new, pleasant ones.

Beca hopes that these memories will be the ones to stick for good.

#fanfic #pitch perfect #bechloe #beca mitchell #chloe beale #life is not a love song

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