#feeling like that dog who found pie in a bush once and now has to stop at the pie bush except this is a product from a store that is meant

[mashmouths]

should i go in the donut shop to ask if they have boston creams for the third time in a week or should i give up </3 i feel like woody harrelson in zomebieland. but maybe they'll have them this time.......

[another-snape-story]

Merry Christmas

Chapter XXI

The days that followed were tough. You happened to visit The Department of Magical Law Enforcement every once in a week – although you were beyond suspicion, they always had new questions.

“They call me again.” The words that made Snape’s heart sink each time they were spoken. Once annoyed, the other time despaired – “They call me again,” you announced over and over again. Of course, this couldn’t pass by unnoticed without affecting your emotional state which kept worsening after every new attendance.

Snape felt you were getting estranged – from him, from the world around. It was unbearable seeing vigorous glint of your eyes gradually die out. Knowing your passion for nature walks, he used to take you outside whenever possible. Snowy landscapes along with fresh air worked wonders, and you were back again – distressed, tired, but still alive.

Support Severus gave you was huge, substantial, able to bring you to tears, which in your current condition was easy as pie. Immensely grateful for his regard, you felt like giving him the whole world in return. The more time you spent together, the stronger grew your sentiment for the man, until you realized you could no longer imagine your days without him. Relieved in the solace his presence offered, you wished you could nestle under his protective wing, shielded from all the horrors of cruel reality, and doze off in a long deep peaceful slumber.

You hated the moment Snape left you at your door late in the evening, afraid to stay alone with your thoughts or just selfishly unwilling to let him go – sometimes you seemed to forget he wasn’t your possession and had other things to take care of apart from you. The man’s become an indispensable part of your life, a vital part of you, which, if taken, would cause a fatal outcome. Little did you know you’ve become the such for him as well.

Looking you in the eyes as he put you on train, Snape struggled with desire to cup your face and make that one last step towards the edge to let you know his heart was beating for you and you only, to assure you were not alone, that you could count on him whatever happened. However, being a man of a rational mind, he admitted he was no good match for you – with heavy burden of his past and a vague chance for future – what could he give you? Moreover, he wasn’t hoping you’d accept him. How pathetic thinking you would!

Snape felt uneasy letting you go to London alone. Having grown exceedingly protective of you he couldn’t find any peace until you returned, safe and unharmed. During hours of your absence, Snape questioned himself what if the court found you were involved by implication? What if you decided not to prolong your contract with Hogwarts and left the school once the term was over? What would his life be like without you?.. Intrusive thoughts that scratched in the back of his mind aggravated all of his unpleasant traits, and students got to suffer Snape’s ill temper more severely than usual every time you were away.

“It’s over,” wearied, emotionally drained, you informed Severus when he met you at the station in Hogsmeade as he’s done since the process started.

“You told everything like we’ve agreed?” anxiety bubbling inside his chest, Snape intently examined your face to detect the slightest change in your expression trying to foresee the probable answer before you could utter a word.

The question reminded you about the dispute you had before your departure. You nodded weakly. Although you’ve chosen to follow Snape’s advice, you still were uncertain if you did the right thing.

“Good,” he approved calmly as befitted his usual composure, while a sudden yet so much anticipated relief made him feel dizzy. No one would take you from him, now he knew it for sure.

“He’s been sentenced to ten years,” your voice bleak and lifeless. “I should’ve told the truth. Should’ve told them it was all my fault.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Snape stepped closer, his hands reaching out for you.

“It’s unfair. That’s not what I intended.”

“Listen. It’s just the consequence of negligence,” he softly rubbed your shoulders. “Nothing more.”

“I know,” you sighed bitterly. “I know… But… I didn’t mean to ruin his life. Didn’t mean to…” you fell silent fighting back tears.

“He’d end up in prison anyway,” Snape stated with contempt, wishing the man who brought you so much trouble be damned. Snape realized you’d need time to finally get over all this and move on – and he was there to help you. “Let’s go back.” He led you along the platform covered with a thick layer of trampled snow dotted by hundreds of footprints.

“Have the students left already?” you asked indifferently just to switch the trail of thought.

“Yes. This morning.”

A ghost of a smile swept across your lips. “How was the feast?” sad notes in the tone of your voice revealed utter disappointment over a missed opportunity to attend one of the main school events.

“No trolls, no three-headed dogs,” he spoke apathetically. “Boring, in other words.” Snape could’ve probably been other opinion if you kept him company.

“Huh, I thought all the celebrations here had an element of surprise,” you sniggered recalling the night of Halloween. The night of Halloween! Quirrell… You knew Severus wouldn’t appreciate what you were going to tell him, but keeping it in secret after the risk taken would make no sense either way. Preparing for being told off, you listened to the snow creaking serenely under your feet.

“I saw Quirrell again,” you confided at last as you turned around the corner heading towards the carriage harnessed by a pair of Thestrals.

“And again you followed him?” Snape frowned disapprovingly, just as you would expect.

“Yes, but this t…”

“How many times have I told you not to mess with him?” he resented.

“And how many times have I mentioned I were not a child?”

“Leave him to me! Being ‘not a child’ isn’t enough!”

“Aren’t you even curious what I’ve seen?!” you huffed in disbelief. He’s never taken it so bad before.

“No! I’m not curious at all!” Snape raised his voice. “Merlin! He might be dangerous! Is it too complicated for your stubborn head to grasp the simple fact?”

“You speak this way to your students, not me!” you spat back. That was way too much. Who did he think he was?!

“I will speak to you the way you deserve unless you listen to me!” he hissed angrily.

“Oh is that what I deserve? Really?! After a month of interrogations with testifying at the trial on top of this SHIT-CAKE? Is that what I deserve?!” you burst out. “I listened to you and didn’t tell them it was me who purposely changed the data! And now I’ll have to LIVE with it!” yet you were shouting.

“At least you’ll live!” Snape growled in frustration. He shouldn’t have spoken to you this way. Living in constant fear for your fate, holding back all the doubts that ate on him while he played confidence assuring you everything was going to be all right, but actually having no idea how the things might’ve turned out was a real torture – no wonder, he still resembled a bare nerve when it came to the matter of your safety. Always composed and collected, this time Snape failed to restrain his emotions.

Although he regretted it immediately, it was too late for remorse. Exasperated, pissed with his tone, you rushed past the carriage. “I’ll walk!”  

Trying to stop you, Snape grabbed your elbow. You spun around, shooting him a vicious look which shattered Snape’s puny hope you would accept his apology. “Get in,” he said calmly. “I will walk.”

“FINE.” You abruptly freed yourself from his grip and climbed inside.

The carriage set off.

You laid your head on the backrest, tears streaming down your cheeks. This scene was easy to be avoided, but, as ill luck would have it, everything came together at the breaking point. Of course, he was worrying about you. No one ever had. Yet he did. He placed your interests over his own. How many days, how many nights he has spent comforting you! Fixated on your problems, you’ve never taken into consideration when he has managed to keep up with his work… after spending hours and hours and hours with you… Anger struggling with an expanding feeling of guilt and gratitude tore your soul apart.

But his tone! You crossed your arms on your chest, still doubting whether to forgive him. His tone hurt!

The window hole offered a wonderful performance of trees and bushes garmented into gentle niveous covering slowly dancing along the road. As much as you loved winter, the other day you’d hardly be able to take your eyes off this fairy picture, but now it seemed to just dishearten you. You turned away – the vacant seat beside you gaped with pervasive emptiness – same that you felt inside. Severus used to take it, right next to you. Once, you’ve even fallen asleep on his shoulder… A memory brought a dolorous smile to your face. You missed him. You missed him so bad. What just happened wasn’t right. It should’ve been different. Moreover, on a day like this.  

You gave a sign for the carriage to stop and stormed out – you haven’t gone too far – he’d catch up with you soon. Wading through the snow, you hurried back to reunite with the man so dear to your heart as soon as possible. In his black coat he should be an easy target to spot, but Snape was nowhere to be seen. Frozen to the bone, you found yourself standing on the place where you left him. Despaired, you looked around – not a single soul.

“Severus!” you called him desperately, a lump in your throat growing thicker as you tried to hold it in. “Sev…” Everything’s gone so wrong.

Lost the last bit of hope – despondent and wretched – you sobbed into the void, scoffing grievously at yourself, “Merry Christmas…” Perhaps, you deserved it indeed.

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Tag: @diaryofafan17 @yul-is-sparkling @fullmoonshadowwrites @forthehonourof @amywright @redrehab @space-helen @fluffymadamina nadiigh @theworldisugly-22 @lukaerith-morningstar @sighsinkhuzdul @67-chevy-baby @rustypotatospork @aquila-leo @dandyrua @majusketch @sevyythebeanqueen @writingmi @s00nhi @pinkininja @shizuethedragon @chocolattefrog awkwardaxelotl @bionic-otp @samnblack @sailorstupidsblog @purpledragonturtles @xwaterproofx @lokistann @psycho-howell @planetmystery @lovelyravenkite @taschaschwarz @grimrapper11 @xpissbabyx @lullabylike green-forest-dreams brujaporfavor @severuslovebot moonflower81 @yourbadnightmare @cyber-cry-baby @fandomfrickomg @azzle417 @primavera-allegoria @scarletflavour garsiri04

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #420

lol blaze it (i’m funny i swear)

In your opinion, which fast food place has the best fries? Without a doubt, Bojangle's. Good. Shit. Are there hurricanes where you live? Yeah, they're common here. What do you hate the most about yourself? I'd really rather not get into this right about now. What song are you listening to right now? "Beast of Gévaudan" by Powerwolf. What was your first concert? Alice Cooper. Also my only concert. What’s your favorite Johnny Depp movie? Alice In Wonderland. Who did you last say “I love you” to? My sister. Do you like pumpkin pie? Anything pumpkin-flavored is a hell no from me. Do you know anyone named Austin? Knew, rather. Do you know anyone who is having a baby? My friend recently announced she and her husband are having their second child in December. What was the last thing you cried about? Just PTSD. Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? I like both, but I prefer chocolate. Do you think you are an argumentative person? Definitely not. How many deep dark secrets do you have? Two or so, idk. What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? Some wings at Buffalo Wild Wings with one of the hottest sauces. Wanted to die. ... Yet I continued to get that one whenever I went for years lmao. Who last called you sexy? I don't know. Would you class yourself as a good role model? In some ways, but in a lot of other ways, no. Are you scared of the dark? No. Do you have a motto? No. Who did you last see on webcam? The doctor that overlooks my TMS progress. Do you need a haircut? I need a trim for sure. How would you react if your mother told you that she was pregnant again? Well, considering 1.) she's way past menopause and especially 2.) she's had a complete hysterectomy, y'know... that's kind of impossible. She also hasn't been with a guy in many years, so she would have to be joking. You log into Facebook and see the red ‘1’ notification next to the message icon. Who do you want it to be? -___- Would you rather exercise alone or with other people? ALONE. You will NOT see me exercise in front of other people. What is the most difficult or involved video game you’ve ever played? The most involved is DEFINITELY World of Warcraft, and I guess you could consider it the hardest too, given some of the much more difficult things I've done in it. It itself isn't a hard game whatsoever, but you can pursue some really hard achievements. Ever watch the show Supernatural? If you have, then what’s your favorite episode? I used to love it, but just stopped watching eventually. My fave episode... Man, it's been too long to remember many. Probably one of the funnier ones. I remember I specifically liked the bit where they were in your everyday comedy show, as well as the one where I THINK Dean kept trying to prevent Sam from dying. I just remember the "Eye of the Tiger" bit that is pure gold. Ever heard of flavored honey? If so, what’s you’re favorite flavor? Oh, no, but that sounds good. Do you remember what your favorite show was when you were little? Yeah, Pokemon. Do you put anything besides cheese on grilled cheese sandwiches? Besides butter, which I think is pretty standard, no. When it comes to books, what do you think is the “perfect” amount of pages? Uh, I dunno. It depends on the book. I don't really care about page numbers. Would you ever be interested in going scuba diving? Yeah. Out of all of your friends/relatives, who would you say has the best vocabulary? Girt, probably. Are any of your fingers or toes deformed? What about the nails? I don't think so? When is the last time you cried? I was sobbing earlier today, fun stuff. Would you ever date somebody that has been divorced more than once? Most likely not. ESPECIALLY at my age. What are some stereotypically nerdy things that you like? Oh god. WoW, M:tG, big glasses, anime (does that count? idk really), video games... a lot of stuff, really. Have you ever attended a wedding that ended where the bride and groom didn’t actually get married? What happened? Y I K E S, no. That would be SO uncomf. What scares you the most about becoming a mother (hypothetically, if you don’t want to have children)? Actually raising it properly, physically and emotionally. Would you ever want a job in fashion? What would you enjoy about that type of job? No. Would you ever be a surrogate mother? No. What do you think would be the best and worst parts about being a twin? It'd be cool to have someone you feel an almost supernatural connection towards, but I'd also feel like I wasn't as "original" as I would be if I was born alone. Do you feel that your childhood was more rough compared to others around you? I mean it wasn't awful at all, but sure, in some ways compared to at least someone. How would you react if you found out today that you were actually adopted? Well today I'm a wreck, so don't tell me. I want to know that I wasn't lied to for 25 years. Have either of your parents ever cheated on one another before, that you know of? How would you react if you found out today that one of them cheated? I'm not entirely clear on this, but I'm 90% sure Dad cheated on Mom with his now-wife. Dad also accused Mom of cheating, but I HIGHLY doubt that's true. Do you like cleaning and organizing? Not really. How would you react if you found out you were infertile? If you don’t plan on having kids to begin with, what is a long-term goal you’d be crushed to find out was impossible to achieve? Fuck having kids. I'd be a terrible mother. So to answer the other question, I'll be pretty, pretty sad if I can't get permission to spread Teddy's ashes at Yellowstone. Would you take your dream job if it were out of the country? Well, obviously not considering my dream job is a meerkat biologist, and I'm not moving to Africa. Have you ever been robbed? No. Is anyone close to you an alcoholic? Not anymore. Dad was, but he's recovered. Have you ever dumped anyone? Yes. What kind of tea do you drink? I hate tea. Do you know anyone in a gang? No, and I hope I never do. What’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for you? Risk his fucking sanity and health to try to hold my fucked up self up. What is your orientation? Gay? Straight? Metrosexual? Anything other? Bisexual. I've kinda been questioning pansexual of the late, though. I don't know. Have you ever done anything really dangerous or illegal with friends? Not to my memory. Name three feelings you’re feeling right now: Regret. Hopelessness. Loneliness. And the reasons for these feelings? Take a wild fuckin' guess. How do you feel about your life right now? It's an actual dumpster fire. Is it easy for you to like yourself? Why or why not? Fuck no. Because there's just not very much TO like about me. Even on my good days, I see flaw after flaw in myself. What subjects come naturally to you? English, some aspects of science. What subjects do not? Math, economics, politics, history... Do you read more fiction or more non-fiction books? Definitely fiction. When I read a book, I want an escape from the real world. How has today been for you? BOY HOWDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What did you do? Went to TMS therapy. Sat on the Internet. Cried. :^) Are there any candles lit in the room you’re in? No. Are there any lava lamps near you? No. I want one, though. Do you like cats or dogs better? Cats. Are any of your friends a pothead? Yes. What’s a goal you’re trying to accomplish soon? Start losing weight again. That'd be pretty goddamn grand. Are you a high maintenance person? Definitely not. The last time you yelled as loud as you could, what was the reason? I was having a nightmare. Have you ever been heartbroken? For sure. Who did that to you? First Dad, then Jason. Did you go through an ugly stage as a kid? Boy, did I. The last type of sandwich you made or ate: A pb&j. The last time you spent most of the day in bed: Literally every day. I do just about everything in bed. Pathetic, I know. The last friend or acquaintance you made: Ummmm idk. The last thing you took pictures of: A hydrangea bush. The last time you were scared: Now. The future is terrifying, my friend. The last thing you looked up online: The definition of a word to ensure I was using it correctly. The last thing you disagreed with: So I've been watching John Wolfe's old stream of him playing Alice: Madness Returns, and he went on a total soapbox about smoking being okay essentially because we're all gonna die eventually from something, and I really disagreed with it. Does your house have a separate laundry room? No, just like a closet. Do your parents still help you financially? I'm still entirely dependent on them. Does your car have a backup camera? No. Have either of your parents ever been in trouble with the law? Not to my knowledge. Have you ever had a pet that lived to be really old for its breed/species? REALLY old, no. Teddy was definitely up there, but beagles have lived longer. What was the last strong scent you smelled? Lysol. Have you ever told someone to their face that they were ugly? Christ, no. Is your bed against more than one of your walls? No. Have you ever been attracted to someone’s parent? Don't think so? Have you ever pole danced before? No. Have you ever broken into someone’s house? No. Have you ever seen a live bat? Yes. What is the most amount of money you’ve spent on a meal before? I dunno. Have you ever taken a woodshop class? No. How much time do you spend on Facebook, if you have one? Funny you ask, because as of today I decided to take a break from it for awhile. I've found it's nothing more than a breeding ground for envy and making me feel like a horribly incompetent adult. Has a teacher ever made you hate yourself/your work? I had one photography teacher in college that I was NOT a fan of. He was super, super hard on everyone, like to an unnecessary degree. We were students, not pros. Have you ever been on the barrier or front row at a concert? No. Are your parents supportive of you? Somehow.

[tristanlovesthequeen]

The Paddock

Tristan Chase Sparrowe

11/25/2016

The Bull

One day in the fall of autumn, when the moon is high and bright, orange in hue and full in complexion, when the clouds hang oppressively low in the sky I wandered through the meadow to the buffalo paddock, newly installed by decree of the mayor of San Francisco about two months ago.

The headlines in the newspaper were all the same, dismal in hue, recording the afterthoughts of the Mayor. “'The park commissioners expect soon to procure a buffalo cow who will lighten the hours of his confinement,' Harrison says”. Tomorrow the buffalo, Anastasius will be married to his bride-to-be, a new import from a ranch in Wyoming, where my uncle lives with his wife, and a dog, where they have retired and where my uncle hunts and participates in environmental conservation.

It's brisk, with many clouds of smoke blowing from the corners of my mouth into the Fall air. The grass has just been clear cut, and the smell invades my nostrils. The dew from the morning and previous evening cling to the individual hordes of grass scintillating in the dawn evening light. I have been up for a day and a night approximately and everything seems to vibrate around me.

I am here with a specific purpose. No one is around the buffalo paddock the night after Thanksgiving, the city itself is deserted, let alone the park and its many intertwining trails. I could walk for miles on these days in San Francisco, traversing the entire seven by seven without seeing a single person.

I reached into my backpack and extracted a long pair of bolt cutters I had purchased for a penny at Goodman Lumber two days ago.

A swift look to my left, and to my right, and into the stable at Anastasius as he sleeps. The strong bull grunts and twitches in his sleep as steam puffs from his nostrils. His side rises and falls as he breathes and his ears twitch a bit. It is a pity for such a sculptural beast to be imprisoned as he waits for a wedding he has no say in and a migration pattern that is now limited to across the paddock. Either way, an option might be a change of pace for him. A change of scenery, a chance to spread his wings before wearing his proverbial wedding ring around his hoof.

A link in the chain link fence snaps open and then another, and another as I make an archway about the size of an Ort cloud in the distance. Finally the metal links curl like a pad of melted butter to the wet grass. Anastasius sighs deeply and continues his dream. I ponder where he might be in his mind for a moment. The plains with his kin, avoiding native species of humans and the great white hunters of the fields where they used to graze. Possibly butting heads with an alpha male or turning on his heels to run. In space or in a hell like place, with demons floating above his massive cranium. An endless pasture where he sits in a cloud of cow fermones, butterflies braiding his mane.

I find myself walking a few paces ahead, erstwhile extracting the axe from a loop in the lining of my coat. I question my motives one last time before raising the axe above my head and, hearing the blade glint I let it fall into a mass of decomposing wood that surrounds the buffalo encasement. A crack resounds and a group of black birds flutter into the air squeaking as they fly. Anastasius stirs. I let the blade strike again, over and over until I break a hole in his cage. I kick the horizontal beams until they become diagonal and finally...

The bull's eye catches my attention. He has been watching me for some time. I breathe “You're free now lil' buddy,” and continue to circle around back towards the hole in the cyclone fence. Anastasius whines a bit. And grunts again.

I consider my motives and consider this new found freedom that I now share with the bull. It never felt like optimism to free the bull, just felt like a circumstance, a necessity, of the era that I live in. The symbolism of this pack animal now caged by himself, a migratory creature that is now forced to stay in one place. A metaphor for the elimination of the Native Americans who relied so heavily on the existence of the herd. And the grasses that cultivated with the motion of the species, and now wanes due to it's disappearance. What a pity. I wonder why he does not leap anymore, if he is lacking some sort of bacterial family in his gut or if his brain is lacking a certain chemical, why he has accepted his fate as a caged being, why he does not call out or try to create an alliance with a human to help facilitate his escape.

A mild panic surges through my veins and works its way into my knees making me weak for a spell. I tuck all my tools and hike back towards the main road. I decide to wait for a moment by a streetlamp and spark up a cigarette.

I think about the stars for a moment and try to locate Orion's belt. Somehow when compared to the power of the cosmos, my own worldly problems seem immaculately minuscule. And then came a dull rustle from the bushes lining the Fulton street border of the park. Anastasius slowly emerges from the darkness, then pauses, kicking his hind legs out to stretch. One, and then the other. A glow from my cigarette and the plume of smoke from my lungs catches his attention and he freezes.

Now that nothing is separating myself from such a large powerful animal I feel the weakness in my knees again and somehow the cigarette's effects seem more intense. I lower my head a bit to acknowledge his presence and say “fair thee well monsieur.” He lowers his head back at me and then he trots off in the direction of Ocean Beach.

His silhouette pirouettes and fades into the darkness of the night. When I arrive home I undress and lay in bed, and count to slow down my brain. Again I imagine the distance of the night sky, the size and millions of stars in the sky, compare them to the personalities here on earth and the endless multitudes of people. Once again I feel terribly small. Eventually I drift off and I, too am one with the cosmos.

The next day is the opening ceremony of the arrival of the new bison to the paddocks. Anastasius is to have a wife.

I make my way towards the modest crowd of people who have showed up to see the young bull procure a new wife. News teams are there and flashbulbs take snapshots of the Mayor arriving and emerging from his Lincoln town car led by police escort.

No one seems to suspect that Anastasius is not present, then again no one seems to care. The mayor stands up on a soapbox and gives a short speech, then motions like a circus conductor with his left hand to the truck containing the cow. Two men stationed on either side of the truck wearing overalls boots and golfers caps let down a metal ramp and a gate to the flatbed.

The cow, Anastasia, seems to be alarmed by the noise of the cheers of the crowd and the visage of a small excited yapping dog. She immediately starts to gallop into the paddock making a swift round and then charging out of the hole in the fence that I had cut the night before.

The music from the bandstand stops and the crowd gasps. The mayor throws his pork-pie hat to the ground and starts to shout at his assistants. A moment passes and sirens from firetrucks and police vehicles start to whine.

A large gap toothed grin stretches across my face. I laugh for a moment and then my forehead crinkles and I start to grimace. I don't pretend to understand what is going to happen to the bison nor do I feel guilt about setting them free. Seeing this crowd in a frenzy sets me off in an opposite trajectory from the crowd and the escaped cow.

That night at home with a hot toddie sitting by my wood burning stove with the neighborhood cat, Noodles, listening to the radio, the broadcast starts to announce, “In other news, police officials say they located the escaped buffalo which were to be married today on Ocean Beach and Ortega. The bull, Anastasius, and the cow, Anastasia were standing near the sea foam giving each other Eskimo kisses when authorities arrived. The mayor arrived shortly thereafter to find the police troop crying tears of joy. The band played “Auld lang syne” and the mayor hugged his wife. The mayor's assistants opened bottles of champagne and as the corks flew into the air the buffalo walked side by side down the coast.”

Noodles meowed and rolled around on his back.

Bibliography

1) http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/Oldest-bison- at-Golden- Gate-Park- dies-at- 22-

5870761.php

2) http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/Golden-Gate- Park-baby- bison-found- dead-

2443708.php

3) https://localwiki.org/sf/Golden_Gate_Park_Buffalo_Paddock

4) http://www.foundsf.org/index.php?title=Buffalo

http://poormagazine.org/node/5456

http://sheriffmichaelhennessey.com/Sheriffs_Stories/Getting_Buffaloed.html

“12 Short Stories of the Bison in Golden Gate Park.” JSTOR web article.

The Bison or Buffalo in the United States. The Indiana Quarterly Magazine of History, Vol 6. No.3 (September, 1910) pp. 114-117. Trustees of Indiana University. Http://www.jstor.org/stable/27785281. JSTOR web article.

Poaching Pictures Yellowstone. Buffalo and the Art of Wildlife Conservation. Alan C. Braddock. American Art, Vol 23, No.3 (Fall 2009), pp.36-59. The University of Chicago Press on behalf of the Smithsonian Institution.Http://www.jstor.org/stable/10.1086/649775. JSTOR web article.

[malereader-inserts]

Way Down We Go

Fandom: Harry Potter Pairing: Remus Lupin & Son!Reader Summary: Oh, father, tell me, do we get what we deserve? Word Count: 2,135 Request: @apple-pie-and-ice-cream  “Can I request Lupin x son Reader where the reader is also a werewolf?” A/n: Headcanon that the week of the full moon, senses are heightened because here’s some whump for yer. Remus is so easy to write for, send me more request for this dork

“Think I’m losing my mind.”

Hermione rolled her eyes as you leaned your head down on the long tables in the great hall, tired as you struggle to keep your eyes open, after a full moon in May you were getting back on your feet after being bedridden after the full moon.

“You’re being dramatic, (Y/n),” Hermione vocalised, though she paused when she hears your wince, “Are you okay?”

“Sensitive ears,” You hummed, rubbing them gently before propping up your face, leaning your elbows against the wooden tables, “I’m fine.”

Hermione narrows her eyes, opening her mouth to say something until she decides against it. You stare at her, knowing what she was thinking. She had her suspicion for a while since Snape had set the werewolf essay back in November - she’s been keeping an annoyingly close eye on you.

It happened over the summer, Dumbledore was right at the door the day after the full moon with Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall. Your mother had been worried sick, considered pulling you out of Hogwarts. So, as you lay in your bed recovering from the bite, Dumbledore explains to your mother about your predicament.

Dumbledore had explained that you could continue going to Hogwarts, as Hogwarts is the safest place to be. Madam Pomfrey would tend to you and McGonagall was there just to support your new life, to mother you when you get to Hogwarts. 

The two women remember a boy your age, with similar eyes like yours. If they could provide Remus Lupin one good time at Hogwarts, they sure will do the same for his son.

“You know, your father came to my office on Wednesdays for tea, you’re welcome to come visit,” Poppy says, smiling softly as she heals the wounds as best as she could, grimacing that there would be a permanent bite on your neck and scars running from your torso to your stomach.

You sat up so she could look at your back, you were much more scarred than your dad, more on the body and less on your face. 

“I’m slowly turning into dad,” You hummed, “Next thing, I’ll be reading books willingly and wearing sweaters with patches on the elbows.”

McGonagall couldn’t help but smirk, “Yet, your dad was one of the greatest pranksters of his year, and your dad isn’t bad.”

“I’m a were,” You snorted at the joke as McGonagall and Pomfrey roll their eyes because that was a common joke that was thrown around, before frowning when they noticed how you stared at yourself in the mirror, “I’m hideous.”

Sure, there were no major scars on your face, just minors one. Two serrated scars cutting through your right eyebrow, small but definitely someone would mention. There is a scar on your lip too, in the same direction as the other two but this was cutting through the upper lip and space before the lip. 

“I think you’re still handsome,” McGonagall says, “If I recall, many people fancied your father because of his scars, and I tell him all the time whilst he was in school that features do not define who you are, it’s what on the inside that does.”

Being at school was bearable but you had no heart to tell your dad about the condition, Snape was involuntarily making wolfsbane potion. Remus would have his monthly batch delivered by Snape whilst Snape drops yours off at McGonagall’s office where you would collect yours.

You talk a lot to your head of house, how you couldn’t bear to tell your dad about your condition because he was so happy to find out that his son did not burden with such a heinous illness. The shrieking shack is a place you were supposed to go, but you avoided that area since that’s where your dad takes place to shift. 

Though you notice a cat in the forbidden forest in your first shift, it stayed with you all night and when morning came, dragged clothes by its teeth close by for you to notice but at the same time not giving you any looks before running away so when you shifted back bare you had clothes to change into.

So, over the course of a year, you got closer to McGonagall and Pomfrey, had Friday teas with your dad to catch up weekly and spend time with your beloved father, keep up with your studies, stop yourself from decking Snape in the face when he has a snark with you, and try not to die whilst being friends with Harry Potter.

Then, just a few weeks before the June full moon, you informed your conditions to your friends, they comforted you that you were no different to what you were before they had known.  You explained you hadn’t told your dad and some professors were known of your situation.

“It doesn’t make you any different, you said Snape has been giving you potions?” Ron asked as you nodded, “So, you’re not a monster, you’re a brilliant person (Y/n)!”

You smiled, “Really?”

“Really, mate,” Harry nodded, grinning, “Can we make wolf jokes though?”

“Yes mate,” You laughed, nodding, “But, not too obvious.”

“I’ve always wondered where you got the scars from,” Harry says, thumbing your scars on your face, “I noticed the ones on your back.”

“Have you been watching me dress, Potter?”

“Can’t help it, Lupin,” Harry teased, grinning impishly, “You talk loudly, you draw attention to yourself.”

“Sod off, Harry.”

Which brings you to the present, hearing your dad snap at Peter as Hermione and Ron watches you gag on the potion, your back facing your dad.

“How does that taste?” Ron asked.

“Spectacular,” You responded, sarcasm evidently on your tone.

“Full moon this week,” Hermione asked, as you furrowed your eyebrows, “What is it?”

The trio was aware that you had to drink the wolfsbane potion the week leading up to the full moon and just before the full moon.

“I don’t feel so good,” You gagged again, stumbling away from your friends.

Remus turns his attention towards you, getting concern when he sees you stumbling away from the rest of them then cringing when he hears you emptying your stomach. He wants to go to your aid but then he had to keep an eye on Peter.

“Harry!” Hermione shouted, pointing into the sky and seeing the full moon.

Harry’s eyes widen, driving straight towards his friends watching his godfather beg his best friend to remember who he is. The three off them watch in horror to see their professor transform in pain, they can’t imagine what you’re going through.

“(Y/n)!” Harry exclaimed, trying to look for you in the long grasses.

“Harry, no!” Hermione bellowed, gripping Harry, “He’ll be fine, he’s taken his potion.”

Harry had turned his attention to Snape grabbing them, before getting floored as the werewolf tried to wipe them clean. Of course, a dog intercepted mid-air swing, the two were at it before the dog was once again flung into the long grass.

The werewolf slowly made it’s way closer before getting attacked by another werewolf, smaller. The trio watches with wide eyes as you protected your friends from your dad who was no state of mind of his actions. 

“(Y/n)!” Ron shouted, causing you to turn to look at him before your dad had attacked you.

Whimpering as you watched the werewolf snarl at you move towards the long grass were Sirius had landed as a dog. Harry had escaped Snape’s grip to follow.

“(Y/n)?” Hermione softly says, Snape was about to snap at her but stops when he hears the werewolf whimper slightly.

Looking at them, you paw your face then neck, blood was seen before stepping away. 

“He’s injured,” Ron says, his eyes softening when he sees your human eyes plead, “He’s-”

A werewolf howl was heard into the forest before they knew it, you followed your dad before anything else could happen. Your friends prayed you were okay.

Morning breaks out, the summer sun shining through the trees. You groaned as you found some clothes by the bushes, you smiled to yourself as you put them on. Feeling the comfort of the sweater, you noticed that there were extra, larger clothes for your dad. You sighed, touching your chin to feel dried blood.

You remember most of the night, you followed your dad into the forest and it was hunting. You tried to pry him away, fight him, but he was larger and stronger. You had lost him for the rest of the night.

You try to crack the discomfort in your bones, your body weighing you down as you try to search for your dad in the large forest. When you found him, he was just coming around to the land of the living.

You threw him his clothes, shielding your eyes, “Morning dad,” You mumbled.

Your eyes too sensitive to the sky and you did not want to see your dad naked. Remus opened his eyes and noticed you, shutting your eyes close.

“Go to the shade,” Remus says, groggily, “What are you doing out here?”

“Making sure you’re okay,” You say, taking a few steps back into the shade, “Are you decent?”

“Mhm,” Remus confirms as you pull your arms and hands away from your face, “(Y/n)... What happened last night?”

yes, Remus felt like utter shit, but you were bleeding and bruises were formed. You were pale, uncomfortable, you looked sick almost. 

“The full moon happened,” You say as if it explains everything, but continues as you did not want to make out your dad had attacked you to become a werewolf, “I took my wolfsbane potion, you didn’t.”

Remus remembers now, he had witnessed seeing your head tilt back with a small vital in your hand, taking down its contents before you suddenly started to retch in the long grass. 

“Did I-?” 

“No,” You interrupted, knowing what he would ask, “Sirius and I, well, mostly I put up a good fight, Merlin, is it always this loud?”

Remus knew what you were complaining about, sensitive ears - everything was louder. You were looking down rather than looking at him, the sun was blinding you even more. Remus had gotten used to the heightened senses, but the way your body shook he could tell you were not used to it.

“Come on, it’s a long walk back to the school grounds, but if we go now, we can make it before anyone wakes up or notice us.”

You don’t wait for his response as you start to limp your way back to the school grounds. Remus groans as he stands up, popping back his joints into place as he made his way next to you.

“When?” Remus asked, his voice soft as he hears you softly wince.

“Summer,” You responded, “I hadn’t had the heart to tell you...”

Remus’ fatherly senses could tell that you were ashamed, he knows what you’re feeling - he went through it your age. 

“I could have helped you,” Remus says, coming to your aid as you limp, he may be in immense pain but he was used to it - you, not so much, “You don’t have to do this alone.”

He stops you, makes you face him as he sighs, his thumb runs over a bruise under your right eye, he examines you. The scars, the scabs, the bruises. He noticed your werewolf bite in your neck, he wonders how he has never noticed it. He placed a firm hand on your shoulders.

“We have each other’s back, you said that yourself,” Remus comforted as a small smile started to form.

“I know, but-” You shake your head, “You would just, I don’t know, be afflicted with all my problems.”

“(Y/n), you are my boy, my son - as a parent, I have to guide you. I want you to be better, to know better. I can’t do that when you’re keeping secrets.”

“I know, and I’m sorry,” You let out a shaky breath, offering him a smile, “You’re too good of a dad, I don’t deserve you.”

You lunged yourself on to your dad into a massive hug, you both groan at impact, but he grips your tight nevertheless, afraid you would slip out of his arms.

“You’re still my boy, werewolf or not. As you said, we have each other’s back, we do things together, all the way down we go.”

“Way down we go,” You affirmed, you shuffled before cowering, “I really need to get to the hospital wing so can we wrap his hug up for later?”

Remus simply laughs, as he lets you go, helping you onto the Hospital Wing.

“Do you think Madam Pomfrey will let us have chocolate for breakfast?”

“You wish, kid.”

[wlw-imagines-blog]

Abandonment, Enthroned. {Part 3} (Fem!reader x Wanda Maximoff)

Part 1, Part 2

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!reader

Warnings: None for this part

Tags: apocalypse au, enemies to friends to lovers, no powers au,

Word count: 2.6K

Summary: “All the leaves are brown, and the sky is grey. I’ve been on a walk, on a winter’s day” - John Philips

After checking on Goat, you surveyed the apple orchard. You gathered two whole baskets of red and green apples, picking more off the garden floor than from the branches. Maybe if you went into town next week, you could find enough spices and sugar to make a pie. You smiled. That'd brighten both your and Wanda's mood. You pulled the little hand wagon full of apples and freshly picked blackberries behind you, just around the edge of the estate.

The dirt path separated the cornfield from the wild berry bushes that prowled closer, and closer to the house.

The sight made you smile. There was something so beautiful about how mature always found a way to grow and adapt despite humanity’s meddling.

You remembered what your mother would say when you helped her prune the apple trees as a young girl. The forest can grow without humans, but humans can’t grow without the forest.

It was not hard to imagine what the farm would look like without any care from you. You could already see the invasive sap suckers moving in to demolish the orchard. Tough weeds and ivy crawling and choking out the cornfield and destroying the greenhouse. The blackberry bushes would eventually dominate the house, alongside ivy and ferns.

This wasn’t just a daydream. You knew that in a few years, maybe decades, that that would be the future of your safe haven. 

You looked up as you strolled. Every inch of the sky was covered with grey, but the clouds had yet to open and release.

As you turned the corner, a figure emerged from the tall stalks of corn, dark and staggering.

You stopped, blood turning to ice. The gun you kept in your waistband was in your hand within a second, safety off.

The man, tall and fit, was facing away, only turning when he heard the clank of the wagon handle hitting the ground.

He was light skinned, with long, dark hair. His bright eyes were clouded with a heavy glare. The jacket he wore was black, just like his boots and pants. The insignia was scratched off.

Much like the one Wanda wore, the day you met her.

His face was weather beaten, hair matted, hands bound in weathered bandages. The look in his eye made your heart twist; he seemed so lost, face pinched and confused.

He stood between you and the house.

Between you and Wanda.

"I'm not accepting visitors today," you called out, voice even. It took everything to choke down the fear.

There would have been the option to invite him inside, maybe even help him, if Wanda wasn't upstairs. If she wasn't resting inside, injured, barely able to walk. She was in no state to defend herself.

You called out again. "Come back in two weeks, I might be able to help you. But not now."

The man did nothing. He watched you, sharp blue eyes glancing over the wagon, to the gunning your hand.

"Get out of here, before I get twitchy," you stepped closer.

He pursed his lips, eyes narrowing.

“Two weeks,” he repeated after what felt like an eternity, before turning away.

Your throat constricted, tight until he walked past the house. You followed him for a few paces, making sure he stayed far away from Wanda.

The man disappeared down the cracked asphalt road, and you watched before fetching the wagon. You hadn't even realized the sweat that had formed on your brow, despite the cold.

As you approached the house, you saw Wanda standing in window of the second floor bedroom. Her eyes were darting from you, to where the man had last been. As she stepped away, you pulled the wagon into the house.

"Who was that?" Wanda asked as you stepped through the front door. She stood with her arms crossed while you carried the baskets to the kitchen. "What did he want? Where was he from?"

You gave her a once over, taking in her pale face and fidgeting hands. There was an unfamiliar tension in Wanda’s shoulders, one that trickled into her voice.

She was nervous. Terrified, even.

Her eyes kept shifting from you to the front door, as though she was waiting for the strange man to bust through. You couldn’t but feel the same jitters Wanda was emitting.

“I don’t know,” You placed the basket of apples down. “He didn’t say, I chased him away before he spoke a word. Why?”

“Nothing, never mind,” she said quickly, turning back to the living room.

It was your turn to cross your arms. “Don’t think I didn’t recognize that jacket he was wearing, Wanda.”

She froze, back stiff. “What about it?”

“You were wearing the same one when you showed up here, right?” You asked, walking to the basket of laundry. The jacket sat on top of the heap. “With the symbols all scratched out?”

Wanda audibly swallowed, forcing calm.

Pulling it out, you continued. “Is your last name Maximoff?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“Is that a no?” You stepped closer to her. “ Then who are you? What militia were you a part of?”

“I’m not a part of any militia! Not anymore.”

“Are you AWOL?”

“I- no, I’m not!” Wanda snapped.

“Then are you? A one woman army?” You threw the jacket onto the ground. “Who was that man outside, Wanda? You knew him, didn’t you?”

She said nothing, just shook her head.

“Wanda,” you pressed your hands together, remembering to breathe. “I cannot let you stay if you’re AWOL. I-I don’t want to get mixed up in the Militia, and the fucking stupid war on the East Coast. If your presence attracts headhunters, or mercenaries from the New Alliance, you need to leave. Now.”

Wanda turned, eyes wild with panic. “They aren’t looking for me, because they think I’m dead. They think my brother killed me three weeks ago.”

Your mouth turned dry. “What?”

She winced, hand hovering over the bandage on her hip. Sitting down heavily on the couch, Wanda only continued when you sat next to her.

“My brother and I, we joined the New Alliance Militia before the war even started. The New Alliance promised to end the nuclear wars, or at least find a way to stop the fighting within America. We were foolish enough to believe it. And at one point, w-we thought we were doing the right thing.” She lowered her eyes. “I didn’t know they were being paid by the government. Or that they were ravaging every city they came upon. I thought we lived in a new utopia that the New Alliance created. I thought it was perfect. I only figured out the truth a month ago, when I caught a broadcast by the Protectors over the transmitters.”

You listened, heart hammering. She had a brother? The boy from the photo?

“I knew I needed to get out. I planned to disappear and go north, as far as I could until the Militia couldn’t find me. But,” Wanda choked on her words. “My brother found out what i was planning, and he turned me in. I was going to be court martialed for abandonment and punished”

“Punished?”

“Privately executed.”

“Jesus Christ,” You whispered, hand over your mouth.“How did you escape?”

You saw the muscle in her jaw flex. “My brother saved me. When it came to the execution, he turned a blind eye; he helped me.”

“Why? Wasn’t he the one that turned you in?”

“I’m the only family he has left. He couldn’t go through with it. I got out of there and began to head east-”

“-And met me,” you finished, grimacing at your first impressions of each other.

She nodded.

“So, who was that outside?” you broached the topic carefully. ‘Why was he here?”

Wanda stood heavily, walking to the window. “I don’t know his real name. In fact, I’m pretty certain he doesn’t have one. The other soldiers in the Militia would call him the Winter Soldier.”

“Oh God,” You had heard the name mentioned several times over transmissions and radio channels. The Winter Soldier was the face of the New Alliance Militia. He was formidable, and credited for eradicating whole factions of Protectors.

The New Alliance’s favorite attack dog had been standing a few feet in front of you, just moments ago.

“There were rumors in the camp that every night, the Militia leader, Colonel Rumlow, and the other doctors brainwash him to be a killer,” she continued. “Sometimes when I was on evening parole, I could hear machines and screaming from his compound.”

“He... he could’ve...” your hands were clammy. “He could have killed us. Why didn’t he?”

Wanda paced, each step labored. “I don’t know. At first I thought the Militia had found out I escaped, and that maybe he was here for me, but he saw me in the window and left without a fight.”

“He was alone, and pretty beaten up. The insignia on his jacket was ripped off, like your’s was,”  You scratched your cheek. “Is there any chance he could be AWOL?”

“No,” she answered almost immediately. “I mean, he was the Militia’s most loyal soldier. I don’t know what could have make him turn.”

You nodded slowly. “Anything’s possible.”

“That’s true,” Wanda replied.

“He’ll probably come back.”

“Maybe.”

“We’ll be ready.”

She let out a dissonant laugh. “Yeah, and he’ll kill us before we blink.”

“He’s going to come back,” you remembered the encounter. “He said so himself.”

Wanda hummed, fingers brushing against the dog tags. “Then we’re definitely screwed.”

***

“North? North? You there?” The radio crackled to life. “It’s Queens, you awake?”

You seated yourself at your desk, on the desk light. “I’m here, is the channel secure?”

“Yup,” Queens sounded tired. You could imagine the young man, sitting in the pickup truck in the middle of nowhere, under the stars. Anxiety gripped your heart. “I’m gonna need some directions, North.”

“Where are you now?” You pulled out the various road maps that you had stored away. The study was next to your bedroom, and the second room that you frequented the most. Through the wall, you could hear Wanda tossing in bed.

You waited, listening to him yawn. “I’m in Illinois, just outside Chicago.”

“When was the last time you slept?” The clock on your desk read 2:36 am. “You need to be alert when you drive, Queens.”

“I’ve been driving non-stop,” He replied, letting out another yawn. “The truck’s tank is almost empty.”

You shook your head. “What are you going to do?”

There was a pause. “I...I don’t know.”

Despair was so thick in his voice, it made your eyebrows furrow. You cleared your throat, looking down at the map. “You’re almost here. It might take you a few more days, but you should be able to arrive without any problems.”

“Really?” Queens seemed to perk up. “Tell me how far I am.”

You were hesitant to give him a list of highways and slip routes to take. What if the channel wasn’t secure? What if someone was listening right now? prayed to god that Queens remembered most of them, there was a quiet knock at the door.

“Come in,” you called to the door. Wanda poked her head in, showing no traces of ever sleeping.

She wore her pajamas and one of your sweaters, arms crossed against the chill of the house. You nodded when she mouthed can I come in?

“Okay, North,” Queens said. “I’m going to settle in for the night. My eyes can’t stay open.”

“Sounds good, kiddo. Make sure you lock the doors and stay out of sight,” you responded.

“Aye aye captain,”

You grinned. “Goodnight. See you in a few days.”

“Goodnight, see you soon.”

You laughed softly and turned off the radio.

“Who was that?” She asked, sitting on the leather couch next to the desk. Her legs were crossed, hands folded. Your eyes landed on the strands of hair that had fallen out of her pony tail. The gas lantern on your desk illuminated her eyes, letting a warm light fall over her skin.

“Queens,” you responded, unable to swallow. “He’s a kid I found over the radio a year ago.”

She frowned. “Queens?”

“His code name,” you explained. “We can never be certain if the channel is secure, so we try to avoid using real names. I’ve already taken a risk in telling him how to get here.”

“And you’re ‘North’?”

“Uh huh. Like North Dakota.”

“Why are you helping him?” She asked carefully.

You smiled, a little strained. “Queens just got into high school when war broke out. There are so many people, especially kids, that are suffering because of this war. I want to help him get out in one piece.”

“He’s just some random kid?”

“He’s just some random kid.” You sat back in your chair. “He’s actually quite brilliant. I think he hasn’t gotten this far on pure luck; the kid’s a genius with machines.”

Wanda offered you a rare smile. “That’s really kind of you to help him.”

“It helps me sleep at night,” you shrugged, forcing nonchalance. The complement caught you off guard.

Wanda shook her head, face pinched. It was as though she could not muster the energy to be frustrated with you. “You’re a good person, Y/N.”

You laughed bitterly. “Wanda, I wasn’t always the bleeding heart humanitarian you see before you.” Leaning towards her, elbows on your knees, you spoke in a whisper. “It takes more than what you’re willing to give to live in the blast zone. You can’t tell me that I’m a good person, not after what I’ve done to get here.”

Wanda watched you intently as you rambled.

“It’s never been easy out here. Not once have I woken up and been glad to be alive; not since the war started. You have to be ruthless to survive, and I’m so damn tired of surviving. I want to live, and feel alive.” You choked out the last word, head dropping to your hands. “Wanda, it took so much of me to find a home in this wreckage. I’m so... so different now.”

If you knew everything, you’d call me a monster.

There was silence as you took in ragged breaths, as though you had never learnt to breathe. Those were words you had not ever spoken aloud. Instead of felling like a weight being lifted, the confession felt like a brick falling through glass, and now you were picking up the pieces. The moment the words were out, you felt hot embarrassment work its way through your system. God, did Wanda really want to hear about your sob story now?

You felt a cool hand on your wrist, pulling your hands away from your face.

Instead of the usual vindictive look she held in her eyes, Wanda was looking at you with nothing but sympathy. The corners of her lips were pulled into a soft smile that chipped away at the husk around your heart.

“It’s never too late to change, Y/N,” she murmured, eyes glancing down to where her hand encircled your wrist. “I know that better than anyone.”

Before you could think, your finger brushed over her knuckles, a gesture so intimate and unfamiliar. You closed your eyes.

“Thank you, Wanda.”

As fast as it happened, the hand was gone. When you looked up, Wanda was standing, appearing equally stunned as apologetic. In the dim light, you could see the faintest blush on her cheeks, but ignored it for now.

“Wanda, wait, plea-”

“Goodnight, Y/N,” she said quickly, unable to meet your gaze. “See you tomorrow.”

The door closed hastily, leaving you alone in your study, unable to comprehend what just happened. 

As you extinguished the lantern, you felt the phantom sensations of Wanda’s hand around your wrist, gentle and comforting.

As you crawled into the guest room’s bed, you forced yourself to stop over analyzing everything about Wanda.

[pagerunner]

Self-Promo Meme

@ferociousqueak​  tagged me for the thing! The Thing is to post the first line of my last 10 fics and then tag 10 people. I’ve taken “line” a bit loosely and anyone who does this should to. Depending on how you count, I’ve written 10 so that works out perfectly! (ok, so I’ve written 12, but one’s a three parter that’s technically one story and i will count it as such, so there.)

Here goes. All fics are and completed (cause i’m scared to post wips lol)

The Misadventures of Grumpy Cat and Circus (Leverage meets Fraction!Hawkeye)

“I was shot at Eliot! Shot. At. With an arrow of all things, are you listening to me?” Hardison checked his coat again to be sure the close call hadn’t been closer. He liked this coat, especially here, in an alley in the middle of Bed-Stuy, which hadn’t gotten the memo that it was April dammit, and still insisted on wind chill.

(currently working on two sequels and i will finish both this year dammit.)

Pretzels /  Plans / Protection (OT3 get together fic)

Whatever Nate and Sophie had gotten up to while they were away in D.C. must have involved Sterling. The Interpol pretzel cart was back, parked across the street with its bright umbrella opened against the drizzle. Eliot casually checked it out as he started unloading Hardison and Parker’s luggage, before Hardison, who’d been wrapped up in some stupid debate with their driver about a taxi service you call with an app, jumped out of the taxi in alarm.

The Food Cart Job (Peggy joins the crew for a job)

“There is no one here dressed up as a pie, Hardison, are you kidding me, man?” The voice was irate, but pitched low, and Peggy ducked her head down behind the pamphlet someone had shoved in her face earlier, pretending not to be eavesdropping on the guy growling into the phone in front of her. “NO. No couples going as salt and pepper, and don’t even get started on the— NO. For one thing, I’d be the goddamn mustard.” He was stocky, short enough that she had a good eyeline on his very impressive biceps, and if they were going to be stuck in this line much longer, she just might try chatting him up.

Context (quick musings about knives from the POV of Eliot’s HS home ec teacher)

There’s a jock in her class.

There’s a jock in her class and he sits front and center, not slouched in the corner like the other times she’s called roll on the first day and glanced up to match a name to a bored face above a letterman jacket. This one—Eliot Spencer—does not look bored.

Make Way For Ducklings (Leverage next gen that i keep intending to write a sequel to, i love them so much)

“Got one for you. See pic. Deliver it in a week or else.”

A week? Lennie owes someone money.

Josie studied the picture of a woman’s driver’s license — Irene Fisher, lives at 436 East Hadley — and smeared wasabi on her last piece of avocado roll before popping it into her mouth. The stringent spice burned her sinuses and made her eyes water as she pitched the empty container out the window of her SUV into a nearby trash can. She blinked to clear her eyes before pulling out of her parking spot. It would take her a good half hour to get to Hadley from here, so Irene might already be home from her extra unlucky traffic stop.

The Secret Santa Job (fluffy christmas fluff)

“Kidnap the Sandy Claws…”

She’s singing the song. Again. Ever since Hardison got the oh-so-idiotic idea to show Parker a movie about a bunch of monsters stealing Christmas a week back, she’s been fixated on this song. This high-pitched, sing-song chant of violence that is giving him ideas he shouldn’t be contemplating around Christmas. He’d asked Hardison who wrote the thing while he was distracted enough by some tech thing to overlook the imminent violence in Eliot’s tone, but the moment Parker’d heard the guy’s name had the word “Elf” in it, he’d been official declared off-limits.

Drifting (Eliot hangs out with an imaginary Aimee while imprisoned at the college campus) 

Somewhere, far away, he’s being tortured.

It isn’t particularly effective, no more annoying than one of Hardison’s long-winded explanations...fine, so maybe a little more annoying than that, but Eliot’s not about to admit it over the comms.

Anyway, he’s just doing what he does.

The 0-8-4 Job (Leverage / Agents of SHIELD s1...and Bunny is an 084. yeah i don’t know either but i really love how it came out.)

S.H.I.E.L.D. Evidence File Status: Classified Restricted Access: Level 4 Subject: 0-8-4 Retrieval

Evidence Report

The 0-8-4 has been linked to numerous hospitalizations and fatalities of children and their guardians.

Birthdays and Blowtorches (Birthday fluff!)

“Oooh, you should get that for my birthday!---Eliot. I mean, for Eliot.” Eliot feels the tiny muscles in his ears perk at the sound of his name, like the hairs on the back of his neck raising, but for a very different kind of danger.

Finding Lost Dogs (DB Cooper Job fic about young Todd Mcsweeten)

The week after Todd McSweeten lost his bike, he found a dog.

A scruffy thing, probably white once upon a time, now a brown and gray smudge wriggling desperately under a bush, its collar caught fast in the branches. If he’d been riding his bike, he might have missed it. He knelt down, mindful that scared dogs sometimes bite, even if they don’t mean to, and carefully stuck out his hand for the dog to sniff. It didn’t snarl or snap, just struggled more frantically and, worried it would strangle itself, he reached in, fumbling a bit before he managed to loose the collar from the branch. The dog tumbled forward into his arms, whining and snuffling and licking his face all over.

I very much hate tagging (yay social anxiety) but I would also very much like to see other lists so please consider yourselves tagged!

[ruknowhere]

Coyotes On The Beach

1.

there are always risks, some small like losing this document, others of more significance like losing a life.  I’ve done lost lives and find myself alone in a cabin in a dying forest of grand old sequoia trees.  Thought about taking a bath this morning but there is a spider living in the tub and it seemed wrong to kill her with a flood.

The road flooded on my way here so I ended up spending a night in overpriced inn with a noisy clock that i took the battery out of.  Never have been able to figure out why anyone would want to hear each second of their life click away.

There are icicles hanging from the cabin gutters

been a long time since I have seen icicles, the last were actually made of glass by Dale Chihuly.  I took my daughter and fiancee to a spot I know in Leavenworth Washington.  A faux bavarian town set in real lovely mountains.  It was a pre wedding trip.  Time for them to relax and for me to try to pal up with my son in law to be.  Well three years later I am still trying to pal up with that guy but he is that guy for my daughter.  They love each other and what more could anyone want for their child then happiness

I sure want happiness.

2.

Leigh owns this cabin which is in one of the prettiest dang places I have ever been and I have been to many.  This is a forest from another time.  Huge trees fit for huge creatures.  Now it is empty.  I saw a marmot or at least that is what I am calling it and a few squirrels.  

Not many birds and zero people.  empty Odd, here in this national forest, set aside as a monument by Obama, nobody wants to venture out anymore.  

The campground is nameless now, all the signs removed, perhaps for winter or perhaps forever.  It used to be call Belknap Campground and it is in the middle of a sequoia grove.

Anyway Leight I bet is a piece of work.  From her pictures and various little bits gathered online I suspect back in the day she was quite a piece of ass too.  I know you can’t talk that way anymore but after all we are nothing but mammals wanting to do it like they do on the discovery channel.

Leigh’s cabin is reasonably well built but it is devoid of any human touches.  To say it is furnished sparsely would be an exaggeration.  Not even a spatula for cooking an omelet.  There is a small radiant heater built into the wall with a warning note attached that says not to move it because it goes off.  As far as I can tell it is always off but I am nothing if not resourceful and have found that the oven and stove burners do a fine job heating the place and the fireplace makes for some ambience deluxe.  The wood bundles I bought at the Springville store crackle and have a nice smell.  It is warm enough now to be naked.  I have a picture of a naked gal laying on an oriental rug.  She has a perfect body, long blonde hair and the rear view of her cunt makes my cock tingle.  I know I shouldn’t say cunt but for guys of my time the thought of a moist cunt with a cock thrusting in and out until you can hardly tell whose cream is oozing out unless you lick it up is well simply divine.

3.

Fire,

Fire on the mountain

4.

the thing about being alone is you are not really alone

you’re left with all your memories

people

places

come and go

that can be good

or bad

but there is always the loneliness

the new memories are missing something

someone

5.

the other day facebook said it was your birthday

funny for some reason I thought that your were born in july

oh well doesn’t really matter

anyway I bought some beer in your honor

a limited release from Lagunitas

Undercover Investigation Shut-Down Ale, 9.7% Alc and 66.6 IBU, especially bitter as they say

they also say Beer Speaks, People Mumble

I mumble and ramble thinking of the ESB ale at Rogue we drank on occasion

and remembering some of the great places we went together and especially the music

funny how people’s lives touch and nudge one another in new directions

I was remembering a picture you showed me once of you and some blonde hippie girl, maybe girls, back in the days of your youth standing in some sunny place

don’t know if you have been to death valley, if not you gotta get here, one of the most spectacular places I have ever seen and it has those high vistas you like

this whole trip has been pretty fucking beautiful.  

California highway 190 from the deepest darkest forests near the coast with huge old sequoias

remnants of another time

falling snow, mudslides and flooded roads made it interesting

to the painted molded rocks and mountains here in the desert

thinking of you

saxophones guitars

blonde girls I never knew

Yazmeen Sophie (is it Sophia now?) and Will

happy birthday dude wherever you be

6.

see that’s how it is with being alone

friends come and go

but still I wish I had

someone

on this trip with me

what a long strange trip it’s been

7.

I started this life as a tumbleweed

blowing across a Texas highway

carried to a cabin in the woods

and a house in the jungle

babies were born and grown

before the wind carried me elsewhere

8.

when nobody knows you you can be anybody

the danger is you are nobody or you can’t remember who you are now

9.

a coyote ran across the road

2 cars stopped and people got out to take pictures

coyote stopped and looked back at them with a real wtf kind of look

he smiled at me when I drove by

one of those smiles you are not sure what to make of

especially from coyote

10.

early into my hike this kind of shady looking guy sez to me

you got go up there to the right, just a little way it is worth it

you really got go up there it is worth it

I was in a good mood so I thought why not

I got kind of a suspicious feeling though when I saw a wrapper that said 10 times more

absorbent and more so when I saw a woman putting a pad in her panties

her red bush caught my attention

I asked her if she was alright and she said oh sure and told me

a nice guy with a welcoming smile had seen her in a bit of a panic because she knew she was bleeding and didn’t know where to go

he told her to go to the right, just a little way

not sure what his intentions were when he sent me up the same path and come to think of it his smile reminded me of that coyote

11.

I walked away but she said stay as she buttoned up her pants hiding the red bush which was still in my mind.  She asked if I would walk a bit with her.  I really didn’t have anything to do for the rest of my life so I said why not.  We got to talking and her story unfolded.  She was forty seven, worked most of her life as a waitress or such in nameless towns but really just wanted to back pies and fuck.   Well I like pie and like to fuck so I decided to walk with her a bit more.

12.

Darwin Falls, Edward Abbey and De-evolution

bet you are wondering what that has to do with fucking and wondering more if this story is a story.

Nothing and maybe or depends on your idea of a story

I do promise there will be some fucking complete with juicy cream pies

but not just yet gee we hardly know each other

13.

The road to Camp Nelson was the victim of a flooded bridge and mudslides

I was a victim of the closure of the road to camp nelson where my cabin in the woods was waiting for me.  This meant spending the night and a lot of money at the local inn but the bartender Lois made it interesting and at the cafe there was a big moose head mounted on the wall.  Bad days for mooses.  Sitting at the table under the moose was a lady maybe 70 years old and definitely attending to internal stimuli, or fucking crazy as they say in the biz.  She was eating a bowl of gruel, drinking coffee and talking up a storm.  We ended up talking about storms and mooses much to the dismay and annoyance of the dad and his two young kids who looked sternly at the two of us and the moose and walked out.  Earlier the waitress a curvy hispanic gal bursting out of her clothing had spoke with this dad in a soft voice I wasn’t supposed to hear all about my unusual behavior.  I must say she was pretty unfriendly especially since when I came in there were no other customers talking to her and I was being all friendly.  But me and crazy Lois talked a bit more.  I paid $10 for 2 eggs, toast, potatoes and coffee and left, Lois still carrying on many conversations and men across the street were getting ready to cut off limbs from an old tree which was thinking about taking out a roof and garage.

14.

So before we go much further into this story I have to tell you some of what happens is true and the names have been changed because mainly I can’t remember them or didn’t know them to start with.

So now we can go much further with the understanding that there will be shameless self promotion, lots of fucking some things that you might not have known before

advice of all kinds and questionable scientific explanations,  if that kind of shit bothers you it will be one of many reasons not to read anymore of this vulgarity.

15.

I once had a dog named Blossom.  We were living on a commune called Folly Farm, way more folly than farm.  It was me and blossom, Flannagan my forever best dog, shaggy terrier poodle mix.  Blossom was a husky shepherd mix and poorly named due to her tendency to cut the smelliest dog farts with no shame.  There were other hippie type people who maybe will show up here and include a long lost cousin with great tits, long red hair and criminal ways.

Blossom liked living on the commune.  She found a way to escape the fenced in abandoned garden she and flanigan ran in among the mullein and foxglove. The first thing she did when she got out at night was kill and mame our ducks.  Not really a good way to be on a commune.  One of the women there was a bit of witch and great at most all commune type things including chopping the heads off the wounded ducks.  Later I discovered she gave great head.  We lived together for awhile until her husband came to get her and the kids.  I learned a lot from her about mind connections over long distances which I am using right now as I think about a mermaid I know.  Blossom developed some kind of weird relationship with a group of the local coyotes and ran around with them made lots of noise (she could howl with best of them)  and killed lots of things like pets and farm animals which made the neighbors not too happy but they didn’t know if was blossom because for some reason she didn’t fart with the coyotes.

16.

At the Daze Inn in Vegas I learned that if you plan on drinking a lot of tequila and smoking lots of legal weed it is important to know how to navigate to one and only one light switch.  Safety First.

17,

Once you have found that light you can go on drinking and inhaling

Viva las vegas

Where anything is possible but not likely to happen

18.

I was married once, hmm grammar check once when I was married cause I was married twice legally.

I was married once, married a long time until I thought it would be a great idea to be swingers and she found out there was someone she liked to fuck better and in fact who loved her more and better than I ever did and she knew she loved him as opposed to me who she knew  she never loved.

19.

But enough about me.

to be continued?

[fandomlife-giver]

His Maid, Strongest: 1

Summary: My young master Ciel has another name. He's also known as the Queen's guard dog for his own in policing England's seedy underground. His small body houses great determination. You will marvel at the bravery he displays when dealing with the drug traffic in the ring. Also, feel free to admire my notable skills with the silver upon which I stake my honor as a Phantomhive maid.

Next time on Black Maid, "His Maid, Strongest"

You see, I am simply one hell of a maid.

Pairings: Eventual Sebastian x Demon!reader

Warnings: Violence, kidnapping

Word Count: 3585

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*Knock* *Knock* *Knock*

A loud knock sounded throughout the house, followed by footsteps going towards the door as the knocking continued.

You walked to the main door and opened it, revealing several powerful guests of London, including Lau, Ran Mao, and Madam Red, Ciel's aunt, who were all associates of your previous master.

Madam Red's eyes widened as she saw you. "Good morning and welcome to the Phantomhive Estate." You greeted with a smile as you bowed your head.

"Oh my, (Y/N)!" Madam Red exclaimed as she ran to you and pulled you into a hug.

You froze and awkwardly patted her back. She pulled away from you and cupped your face. "We thought you had perished." She said with tears in her eyes.

"No, I was only serving the queen in my absence. However, I have resumed my position as head maid of the Phantomhive household." You informed as you pulled away from her.

"I thought that was you." The china man, Lau, said as he walked inside with the china girl, Ran Mau, clinging to his side. "After all, there is no other who can compare to your loveliness." He said with a smile as he wrapped an arm around your waist.

You flinched at his touch before Madam Red slapped his hand away. "Get your meaty paws off of her! She has been through enough without your groping!" She shouted at him.

"As entertaining as this reunion is, perhaps we should carry on to Lord Phantomhive." A man said from the door, that you recognized as Sir Arthur.

You smiled. "Yes, of course. If you follow me, I shall escort you to my master. He is awaiting your arrival." You said, before starting to walk, the group following behind you.

"We were told that it was you that delivered the message directly from the queen, yes?" Sir Arthur questioned.

"That is correct, when her majesty sent me, she wished for me to deliver the message to her guard dog." You confirmed as you led them down the hallway.

"What exactly was the message and why would she give it to you?" The man with the large scar asked as if you were the most irrelevant and least trustworthy human on the planet.

Good thing you're not human or you might've been offended.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Vanel, but I'm afraid that is between you and my lord." You replied as you glanced at him, he glared at you and scoffed under his breath.

You reached Ciel's study and you knocked. 'Enter' You opened the door and walked in, the group following after you.

"Sir, your guests have arrived." You announced to Ciel, who had his back turned to you.

He turned around. "Finally. (Y/N) go assist Sebastian in the kitchen, I will not be needing you as we will be in the Billiard Room."

You bowed your head. "As you wish, master."

You then turned, closed the door and walked down the hallway. You were close to the kitchen before a loud bang sounded and the whole manor shook.

You stopped and deeply sighed in annoyance. "What have those three imbeciles done now?" You questioned, before continuing to walk into the kitchen.

. . . *In The Drawing Room*

"Your tea. We have a special Darjeeling from Fortnum and Mason today." You announced towards Ciel, Madam Red, Lau, and Ran Mao as Sebastian held up the tea pot beside you.

"Smells lovely. Tea can be excellent when made well." Lau complimented with Ran Mao sitting on his lap.

You smiled and bowed your head as Sebastian poured another cup of tea while Madam Red's butler that stood behind you both, marveled at him from afar. "Grell." Madam Red called.

"Uh. Yes, my lady." The Butler responded after he regained himself.

"Learn something from (Y/N) and Sebastian." She coldly stated at him.

He frowned and looked down. "Uh, yes."

"Just look at them. I mean, Sebastian's physique!" She awed as she unexpectedly began to rub Sebastian's ass.

Sebastian froze while Ciel's and Lau's jaws dropped, Ran Mao only stared. "You both should quit this country job and come work with me in the city." She stated with a smile as you held an amused face.

Ciel leaned forward and cleared his throat. "Madam Red.."

She blushed and removed her hand from Sebastian's ass. "Oh, sorry. I couldn't help it, it looked like it needed a physical. Just a doctor's habiiit." She sung as she awkwardly rubbed the back of her head.

Sebastian finished pouring the cup of tea and handed it to you. You took it from him while smirking and placed it on the table in front of Ciel. Sebastian glared at you, but you ignored him.

"So do you believe the drug trafficker your after was one of your guests today?" Lau questioned as he stood up.

"Perhaps." Ciel replied as he laid back in his chair.

"Why not leave the extermination to Lau?" Madam Red asked as Lau walked over to Ciel and rested his elbow on Ciel's chair. "A rat knows best where a rat's nest is, doesn't he?"

"I'm but a tame guinea pig, dedicated to my lord." Lau stated as he placed a hand on Ciel's head. "If the Earl instructs me not to act, I'm bound to do nothing."

Madam Red suddenly shot out of her chair and grabbed Ciel. "Watch it! You best keep your filthy paws off my darling nephew!" She roared at him while Ciel hung loosely in her arms.

"You wound me." Lau said as he stood up. "I would never paw at him in his own home, dear Madam."

"Are you saying you would if you were elsewhere?!" She questioned, dropping Ciel. "Careful, you're on thin ice now, sir!" She yelled while pointing at him. Both you and Sebastian turned as they continued to bicker once you noticed Ciel was gone.

"Master?" Sebastian called.

"Sorry, I'm joking of course."

"You better be, I hope you understand how protective I am of my dear nephew—" They continued as you and Sebastian left the room.

You walked into the hallway to see Ciel standing in the middle while rubbing his head as the servants chased a few rats down the hallway. Finny was dressed as a Rat, as Mey-Rin held a box and Tanaka carried a net.

"Master?" You called as you both approached him. He turned around. "Today's dessert, it's a deep-dish pie prepared with fresh apples and raisins."

"It will be ready soon, would you like to eat with your guests?" Sebastian asked.

"Bring it to my study." He said before turning away. "I'm done here." He stated as he began walking towards his study.

"Certainly, my lord." Sebastian said, placing a hand on his chest as you bowed your head.

The rats ran by you again, followed by the servants. You gave an annoyed look, before swiftly sweeping the rats off the ground in a flash, instantly killing them, and dropped them into Tanaka's net.

"That's enough of that. Stop playing and get back to work." Sebastian said as you brushed the imaginary dirt off your hands while they stood in front of you, heavily breathing.

"Sir..." They sighed.

. . . *Knock* *Knock* Sebastian knocked on Ciel's study with a cart of tea and pie in front of him. "Young master, I've brought your pie and afternoon tea." He waited a few moments, but there was no answer.

"Master?" He called as he opened the door, but gave a surprised look to find an empty room with the furniture knocked over, the double doors open and books, pages scattered across the floor.

He gasped at the scene before him. "This is terrible...the refreshments will all be wasted now." He said as he looked down at the cart.

"And why is that?" A voice said from behind him. He turned to see you walking towards him. You froze with a look of surprise as you looked into the room. "Oh my."

. . . You both walked down the hallway, passing the now empty cart while Sebastian held the pie.

"Oh dear, this is most troubling. Where could the master have been taken?" You pondered aloud as you both stopped walking.

Sebastian put a finger under his chin as he thought for a moment. "Sebastian! (Y/N)!"

You both turned to see Mey-Rin running down the hall (again). "I just found a letter, yes I did." She yelled as she held up a letter.

"Addressed to whom?" Sebastian asked.

"Ah, 'To the Servants of the Earl of Phantomhive'." She read as she continued running.

You heard something click from outside the window beside you. Both you and Sebastian turned your heads to see a sniper, hiding in the bushes. You hummed and moved back just as Mey-Rin tripped (again), pushing Sebastian out of the way as the sniper shot through the window, missing and instead hitting the vase, shattering it.

The pie went flying in the air along with the silver tray as both Sebastian and Mey-Rin landed on the floor, Mey-Rin on top of him.

You walked up and caught the dish in the palm of your hand along with the pie. "Mey-Rin, the letter please." Sebastian said, ignoring the fact he was laying in broken shards of glass and vase with a cowering woman on his chest.

Her face was bright red as she looked up with a gasp. "Eh? Letter? Oh, yes sir!"

.  . . "'If you want to return your master safely, come to Nova garden Bethmal Green as soon as possible...'" Sebastian read aloud from the letter.

"Goodness, what a dreadfully written letter." You commented from next to him.

"Indeed it is." He agreed.

"Sebastian! (Y/N)!" Finny called as he and Bard walked up to you.

"What is going on here?" Madam Red asked as she, Lau, and Ran Mao walked up.

"Sorry for the noise my lady. We assure you nothing is wrong. Please don't concern yourself." You said with a smile as Sebastian folded up the letter and put it in his pocket.

They all looked at the shattered window. "Humph, nothing, are you sure?" Madam Red questioned.

"Everyone, we have business to attend to." Sebastian said as he turned to the servants.

"Would you mine cleaning this up?" You asked, handing Bard the pie as you and Sebastian walked away.

"Um. So, when you say clean uh... that means we can eat it, right?" He asked with a grin as he turned around, but you were both already gone. "...(Y/N)? ...Sebastian?"

. . . "Sorry, I missed!" The Sniper said on the phone as he and another man drove away from the manor on the dirt road.

'What do you mean you missed? You are complete idiots! Never should have hired-a scum like you. Just get back here.' His boss yelled over the phone.

The sniper looked back at the cloud of dirt behind them, noticing two faint figures in the distance. "Um, sir, something is off. I see something." He said with fear in his voice as the dark figures grew closer and closer.

. . . 'What's that!' Their boss heard through the phone while he leaned against his desk.

"Oh, what's-a wrong? You little girl see a bear in the woods?" He taunted, but was cut off by him screaming. "What is it? Did someone fined you? Talk to me." The boss demanded.

'Ahhhh! Hurry it up!'

. . . They turned a sharp corner and slammed their foot on the gas, but the figures only grew closer, now more visible with grins on their faces. "They're coming, closer." He said, fear clear in his voice.

. . . Both you and Sebastian continued running at an inhuman speed with matching sadistic grins plastered on your faces.

.  . . "That's it! I'd have enough of your games already." Their boss yelled, now getting angry.

'No good, they're here! Aghhhhh!' Both their screams erupted and filled the ear of their boss.

"Uh, hello? What's happened?" He questioned.

Ciel laughed as he lied on the floor, bloodied and bruised while tied up. "That's too bad. Sounds like your little game of fetch is over." He said, earning another kick to the stomach followed by a punch and kicks to the back. "Ugh!" He groaned.

"Just shut your mouth, you damn brat!" He yelled as he kicked him. He finished and picked the phone back up.

"You listen to me! If one of you don't answer right now, I swear I will kill you!" He threatened.

'Hello.' You casually greeted through static. 'Pardon us, but we represent the Phantomhive estate. We were wondering if our master might be available.'

Silence.

'Hello, is anyone there? Hello?' You asked once he didn't respond. He went to speak, but no words came out.

"Woof." Ciel barked as he faced the wall.

. . . "Very good, young master. We will come to get you momentarily." You said as you held the phone, before grabbing the cord to the phone and pulling it out.

"Thank you for the use of your field telephone. And now there are few things I'd like to ask you about, if that's all right. First, we'd like to know who you work for." Sebastian said as you both were kneeling on the hood of the car as it was balancing on the edge of a cliff, Sebastian still carrying the silver tray for some reason.

They both only stared at you in fear.

"Hurry up now. He's not exactly what you would call a patient man. And you do remember what happened to the Humpty-Dumpty, don't you?" You said as you glanced at the ground below.

"Ah, our employer's name is Azzurro Vanel. He has a hideout up in the city. It's in the East End." One of them frantically said.

You both gave a closed-eyed smile at them and stood up, so you were standing on the hood.

"We just work for him!" The guy said in desperation.

"But of course, we understand." You said.

"We our very sorry to have interrupted your work. We'll let you go now." Sebastian said with a bow.

"Have a safe trip." You said as you both jumped off the hood and landed on the ground.

You tossed them the phone, the guy catching it as the car tipped over. You both stared at them as the car went over the cliff, disappearing. You both turned around and you took out your pocket watch. "Oh dear, look at how late it's gotten." You said just as the car exploded from behind you, but you paid no mind to it and put your pocket watch away.

"If we don't move quickly, we shall never have dinner ready in time." Sebastian said and you both walked away.

. . . "Listen up, the Phantomhive boy has help on the way!" Vanel yelled at his guards. "Move it! Tighten at the gate! Not so much as a single rat gets through!" He ordered as hundreds of men went around the mansion, men on the balconies, men in the grand entrance, and men outside, all armed with guns and oblivious to you and Sebastian who stood behind them at the bottom of the steps.

"My, my, what a splendid home." Sebastian commented as you both looked up at the large mansion.

The men turned around and looked at you in confusion. "Hey, who the hell are these guys?" One of them said. You both turned around, only to be met with guns being pointed at you.

"Ah, our apologies. You see... we represent the Phantomhive household." You said with a devious look as you placed your hand on your stomach.

Meanwhile...

*Phantomhive Kitchen*

"Oh dear, we need Sebastian and (Y/N) here... Where did they go now?" Mey-Rin pondered as she rested her head on the edge of the table.

"I wish I knew..." Finny said as he also rested his chin on the edge of the table.

"I don't care where they are right now or what they're doin'." Bard said, also resting his head, before standing up and slamming his hands on the table. "This is all I'm worried about. Does 'clean it up' mean we can eat the pie or not?! I have to knooow" He cried as he placed his hands on his head.

"I'm sure just one bite each would be okay." Finny said.

"No, Finny! You know how they are! If we eat something we're not supposed to, they'll bake us into their next pie!" Bard shouted at Finny.

"You need to calm yourself down, Baldroy. A soothing drink might help. Here, give this a try!" Mey-Rin said as she stood up and slammed a bottle of milk on he table.

"Milk... not that it's gonna help me." Bard muttered as he crossed his arms.

"Milk is an important part of your diet! It'll help you grow strong bones, yes it will!" Mey-Rin yelled back.

Back to the servants of hell...

You stood next to Sebastian, gazing at the scene of all the guards that were outside, dead, or severely injured and on the verge of death. You heard a whimper and looked to your right to see a guard, shocked as he stared at the gruesome scene. "Oh, yes. I almost forgot about you." You said as you approached him.

He grabbed his gun and pointed it at you, but you knocked it out of his hand and twisted his arm, hearing a loud *Snap*

"My arm! She shattered the bone!" He cried as he held his broken arm and backed away from you.

"Now, I would be grateful if I were you, I could've done much worse as you can see." You said as you gestured to the many other victims, but he continued to scream in pain.

"Pardon us, but we're in a bit of a hurry." Sebastian said as he took out his pocket watch. "5:34."

. . . Sebastian turned the knob to one of the large wooden doors and opened it, the both of you stepping inside. It was a rather lovely interior and normally you would've admired it, however the men above you had other ideas and started to pelt you both with more bullets.

Sebastian quickly covered the both of you, using the tray as a shield. "Now I understand why you brought it." You said as you faced him.

"Yes, the tools a servant has can be very useful in more then one way." He said as he continued to block the bullets.

You both then moved and ran on opposite sides. Sebastian used the tray as a disk and threw it at the men, hitting a whole row of them. You jumped up and swooped up all the plates on the table, tossing some to Sebastian and kneeling down on the table as he jumped up and joined you. You both rapidly tossed plate by plate at the men, taking them out one by one.

"Move, damn it! Call in the boys in the west tower! We need to rip this broad and bastard apart!" One of them called to the men who ran.

"An entire swarm of rats...We'll get nowhere at this rate." You said with a sigh as you looked down at your pocket watch.

. . . "That's it! I'm goin' to eat it!" Bard announced as Mey-Rin drank the milk and Finny still kept his head on the table.

"Mey-Rin, tea! Finny, go get the silver!" He ordered.

"Sir, yes sir!" They saluted.

Finny opened the silverware drawer. "It should be right in here. What the?" He said as he stared into the empty drawer.

"Is something wrong?" Bard asked as he and Mey-Rin gazed at it.

"I don't understand. The silver supposed to be here, but I don't see a single knife or fork!" He stated.

. . . *Vanel's Manor*

Sebastian suddenly slid multiple butter knives from his sleeves into his hands. You rose an eyebrow at him. "Sebastian, is that our silver?"

He only smiled at you.

"Very well, then." You then released several hidden kitchen forks that slid down your fingers.

He gave you an amused look. "Well I couldn't let you have all the fun." You said before you both jumped up high and flung the utensils at the men, straight in the forehead.

"Who the hell are they?!" One guy questioned before getting hit with one of your forks.

"Now, now, if we couldn't do this much at least... then what kind of maid and butler would we be?" Sebastian said as you both soared down from the air with looks of pure amusement.

. . . The dead, lifeless bodies of Vanel's men who had been previously attempting to kill you were scattered all throughout the room. You looked over the scene as you and Sebastian hung upside down from the large Chandelier.

"Oh dear..." He said as he crossed his arms.

"That took longer than expected." You stated as you looked at him.

"Yes..." He said with a sigh before you both released your grip and dropped down, landing on the ground and standing up.

He took out his pocket watch and looked at it. "Already 5:43"

[therealestvc]

OITNG chapter 10

Valentine's Day Two months after the mall incident Max and Victoria had been going strong after their failed hangout at the mall and after the movie date. But today was Valentine's Day, love day. The day you spend with your significant other. Since the pair still hadn't gone public with their new romance, their date had to be secluded. They, however didn't know that Chloe and Rachel knew about them and half of their dorm mates. How? Well.... Flashback Chloe had to tell someone, it couldn't be kept secret forever. Rachel said not to out them but she didn't say anything about not telling anyone. It was Kate who she told...by err mistake. Walking into the dorm bathrooms, she bumped into Kate, who seemed to sense her struggle. She asked "Chloe, what's wrong?". Chloe thought about telling her but nah, bun bun couldn't handle that. "Nothing bun bun" Chloe said nervously rubbing her hands together. Kate noticed this of course. So she said "oh no, do I need to get to Max? Wait where is Max?". She had a look on her face with thought. Word vomit...the worst thing ever. "I don't know, she's probably with Victoria" Chloe quirked, unaware that she was spilling the secret. Kate giggled, "of course, she is...she told me her and Victoria are really good friends now". Chloe talks without thinking again "more than you know" she mumbled under her breath. Kate could hear that. "What do you mean 'more than you know'?" She asked confused. Chloe innerly facepalms...'damn I fucked up again, I better make up a quick lie or excuse to leave'. "Oh nothing, would you look at the time, I gotta go see you later bun bun" she pats Kate's bun then starts to leave. Only to be stopped by Kate staring at her with those big puppy dog eyes. Chloe tries to side step Kate, but was met with no avail. "Chlobird, what aren't you telling me?" Kate says in that cutesy voice that could make one melt. Starting to get even more nervous and not wanting to make Kate cry. Chloe decides to tell her, "I saw Max and Victoria kissing in a wooded area on a blanket back in January" she says before wincing just waiting for Kate's response. The small blonde in response just stares into space almost like she is in a trance. She says in one phrase "I am shook". Chloe facepalms. She had broke Kate Marsh. After getting Kate out of shooklike state, Chloe says with all serious "You can't tell anyone, alright?" Kate nods. She checks her phone and says something about having to meet up with her church group. Chloe decides to go get something to eat. The two girls opened the bathroom door, only to be met with an eavesdropping Dana and Juliet who are standing there with mouth wide open and shocked faces. Chloe tells them what she told Kate. They agree not to tell anyone before parting ways. Chloe thought 'hmm maybe this won't be so bad' right? Ha! Wrong. The news about the newfound relationship of their fellow dorm mates spread like wildfire, Kate told Alyssa who in turn told Brooke and Stella. (Brooke, however didn't believe her since she knows Max is in love with Warren). Dana kept her promise but just said "it's about time". Juliet, on the hand saw this opportunity as hot gossip so she spread it to Taylor and Courtney who went on about staging an intervention for Victoria. Once the news got to Rachel. She left an angry text message and phone call on Chloe's phone. Chloe had knew she had fucked up. End of flashback Max spent the Valentine's Day morning packing for her and Victoria's camping trip. She had gotten the idea when her and Victoria were watching an old episode of spongebob(don't ask). She had gotten a text from Victoria that morning that read: Tori<3: Happy Valentine's Day Maxine, I can't wait for our trip :*...also you better be getting ready, because I will go there and take the captain hostage. Yes she had known about the captain. Max finished up packing with a reasonable amount of camp supplies, her clothes and toiletries...she looked over to her guitar and thought 'maybe I should bring that'. She put her guitar in its case, she looked around her room more to see if she had missed anything. If she did then Victoria would've brought it. They were going to a wooded area by the lighthouse. She texted Victoria asking if she was done packing...Victoria responded back asking her to meet by her car in the back parking lot. Max grabbed her things then started heading out, she was stopped by Kate who said "have a nice dat...day with Victoria". Max just shrugged at Kate's response then walked to the parking lot where Victoria was waiting for her with what looked like a huge suitcase in the back of her car. Max facepalmed. 'Look at this idiot I'm dating'. She greeted her girlfriend with a hug and kiss when they thought no one was around. Even though they saw each other the night before, she placed her things in the back of the car...well tried to place them in the back because Victoria's suitcase with god knows what in it was taking up half the space. In the end, Max would have her bag of clothes and necessities in her lap and her guitar would be placed in the empty space in the backseat. They sat in their seats and headed to their destination. Jokes were cracked like "geesh Tori, what did you bring half your dorm?". Which was answered with "Maxine, who knows what dangers we will face in the woods? I brought enough things to survive a week and to escape a mountain lion" Victoria smirked. Max just laughed because they lived in Arcadia Bay, the odds of a mountain lion attacking a wooded area by a lighthouse were slim to none. Halfway through the journey Max got a text from Chloe that read: Chloe: I hope icky Vicky doesn't end up killing u Max laughed at this, because if Chloe knew how close they were, she responded back with a witty response that led into string of jokes and memes. Victoria noticed Max being into her texting conversation and wondered 'who is she talking to?'. So she glanced over when they stopped at a stop sign. The name of the offender texting and making her Maxine laugh was Chloe. 'Of course, that Cleo...clover girl taking Maxine's attention away from me, I bet if she wasn't with Rachel she would be pinning for Maxine' She wasn't jealous...no, of course not.. They reached the lighthouse and found the wooded area, it was beautiful the sun was their main view with the beach and trees serving as a background so to speak. They got their things out of the car and decided to find a nice area to set up camp. There was an area that wasn't surrounded by that many bushes or trees. It was the perfect spot it overlooked the horizon which would be perfect for stargazing or watching the sunrise. They set camp there. Well Victoria set up camp, Max just stood around because she knew she couldn't set up a tent. The tent was a pink color which could fit 8 people, it had looked like one of those tents they set up in the wild on mission trips. Where Victoria got the tent? Max didn't question it, she was just happy to spend Valentine's Day with her girlfriend. She decided to write in her journal about the day. It had been past 2:00 when they arrived there and their tummies were grumbling, they were hungry. Luckily there was a picnic basket full of treats for lunch, dinner and breakfast. They would put the remaining food in the mini fridge. They sat down by the tent with a picnic blanket to sit on and got ready to eat. The first things out of the basket were the plates, silverware and drinks, iced tea and lemonade. Next was the food; sandwiches were made of turkey, lettuce, cheese, tomato, and mayo as a topping on sub bun. For a side was a mixture of fruit ranging from strawberries, blueberries, cherries, and all type of mixed fruits. And for dessert, simple apple pie. Once they situated their plates, they ate and chatted and joked around. Max thought it would be a good idea to throw little pieces of fruit in each other's mouths. It only turned out to be like... *Max throws the blueberry at Victoria's mouth but hits in the face* "Ouch, my gosh Maxine your aim sucks, I can see why you never played on a sports team" "Ohh that hurts right there in my cold cold heart" Max gawks jokingly. *Victoria wipes the mess the blueberry made on her face off* She turns to Max who is sporting a 'sad' look with an adorable pout on her face. "Aww what would make you feel better?" She says in a cutesy voice batting her eyelashes. Max puts on a thinking face then says "maybe a kiss would help, I am pretty hurt" . Victoria comes closer to Max and brushes her nose against the brunette's, she glances in her blue eyes before pressing her lips against the others' they started kissing. Max moves her hand to Victoria's waist, this initiates Victoria to push her tongue against Max's lips telling her that she wants more, Max opens her mouth. Their tongues do a little dance. They go about this for a few minutes before separating for air. Max breaths deeply, "wowzer, I've never done anything like that before". Victoria smirks. "So I guess you're saying I'm good at making out?". Max lightly pushes her shoulder. "Yeah sure Tori." She laughs. The two girls decide to go explore before it hit night fall, it had been a while since Max had been to the lighthouse and Victoria surprisedly had never actually to the place but driven by plenty of times. The lighthouse brought back good and bad memories. The doors to the place were unlocked so they went inside, from the outside it just looked like a plain old lighthouse but on the inside it was glorious. Max walked to some graffiti that was fading. It was a painting of a girl, with brown hair and green eyes. It read by the side "I'm still thinking about you". 'I wonder what the story behind this one was?', she turned and noticed Victoria walking up the stairs, she walked to follow her and grabbed her hand to hold it. Victoria felt the touch and intertwined their fingers. The couple walked up the stairs and stopped to look at the forbidden art on the walls. "Wow, it looks soo beautiful up here". "The only thing that is beautiful up here is you". "*she laughs* oh Maxine you are so cheesy, I love it". They reached the top of the lighthouse and looked at the view from there to outside, it was a perfect view for Max to give Victoria her gift. She had hid it there Victoria wasn't looking. "Ohhh what is this?" Victoria noticed the bag with a card that read "Happy Valentine's Day Tori, I love you and so glad we are together". She opened the bag and pulled out a charm bracelet with 'm+v=<3' on the back of it, a box of chocolates and some earrings. 'What a sweet present, I hope Maxine likes mine'. She looked at her gifts then turning to the brunette, pulling her into a soft kiss. "I take it you liked them? Hehe" the brunette said rubbing the back of her neck. Victoria giggled at her cuteness, "like them? I love them!...ohh we should head back to the tent and get ready for dinner yeah?". Max nodded. They headed back to their campsite. Victoria guided Max back to the tent, telling her to check something she thought she saw in there. Max stepped into the tent and saw a beautiful display, their bedding area had roses splayed on it, with a box and a bag addressed to Max. She went to the bag first pulling out a big teddy bear, with a card that read "a sister for the captain". She hugged the new stuffed animal then went for the box next. There are another card that read "Happy Valentine's Day Maxine! There is no one else in this world I'd rather spend it with than you. I hope we stay together for a long time! I love you! Xoxo Tori", opened up the box and saw a new t-shirt with a deer and a cat on it. She found it funny because in retrospect it represented them. She called out to Victoria, who entered the tent. She walked quickly over to her girlfriend kissing her, knocking her down in the process. The two kissed for a few minutes. Victoria repeated Max's earlier phrase in response, earning herself a light push. She smiled back to that. They both put their gifts by their things and got ready for dinner since it was almost 6 o clock. The sun had gone down by 5:30, so sadly they missed the sunset. However, they wouldn't miss the sunrise. For dinner, was salad,roasted chicken, and wine and for dessert was chocolate and s'mores.when they got finished with their meals, they started roasting marshmallows. This reminded Max of something, so she got her guitar out. Victoria sat on the bench next to her girlfriend wondering what she would be playing. Max started playing a familiar tune then started singing. Let's gather round' the campfire and sing our campfire song. Our C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song and if you don't think I can sing it faster then you're wrong but it would help if you just sing along Tori! Bom bom bom She started singing faster C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song And if you dont think that I can sing it faster then you're wrong But it'll help if you just sing along Tori! She waited for Victoria to sing but all the blonde did was sit there grinning at her silly girlfriend. She decided to humor her and started singing along. C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G It'll help
It'll help If you just sing along!
OH YEAHH!! The two girls started laughing at how silly they looked. They ate more s'mores, chatted about many things, told ghost stories that didn't scare Max but scared Victoria even though she wouldn't admit it. They decided to leave the fire going it was still cold in Arcadia Bay, got ready for bed and went to the tent. They made out for a while, before settling down and going to sleep. Around 3 am Max is awoken by Victoria who is mumbling about seeing a bear and a ghost from the story she told her, insisting Max to go check outside with a flashlight. Max steps outside the tent, she surveys the area and sees not much is touched but the marshmallows they left out. Whatever touched the marshmallows left a trail, she followed the trail which lead her to a family of rabbits who were using the marshmallows as pillows. She decides to pick a baby and humor her girlfriend. She walks back to the tent and starts screaming, she lays down placing the baby rabbit on her and plays dead. Victoria rushes out of the tent and sees her girlfriend laying down with a rabbit on her. She rushes over to Max, cradling her in her chest after moving the rabbit who hopped back to its home but not after stealing another marshmallow. "Maxine!!! Can you hear me?! When I find that rabbit I'm gonna give it a piece of my mind" she strokes the girl's cheek. Max 'wakes' up "Tori, I-is that you?" She squints her eyes. Victoria looks shocked at this nearly in tears "oh no, that rabbit must've hurt you". Max decides to end this ruse. "Yeah...but first off...really a rabbit? The noise was the rabbits taking back marshmallows to use them as pillows for their home". Victoria perplexed by this discovery is brought back then punches Max in the shoulder. "You scared me...I thought you were hurt!" Victoria pouts. Max realizes that her scream must've really scared Victoria, so she comes up with a solution. "Maybe we could cuddle to see if you feel better" Max suggested shrugging. Victoria put her hand out. Max led the way, the pair cuddled like they did after they had their movie date. Victoria's heartbeat slowed down and matched with Max's. The pair slowly fell back to sleep. Dreaming of spending time together forever. Morning fell with Max and Victoria's limbs intertwined, neither of the two girls wanted to get up and face the realities of school and well people. They had gotten up in time to see the sunrise, with bedheads the pair sat on the beach cuddled up together with their breakfast bagels. Watching the sunrise in Arcadia Bay was beautiful, the colors from the sun emulated on the beach water. The colors hit it just perfectly, Max quickly went back to get her camera and capture the beautiful moment she took two pictures, one for herself and the other for Victoria. They both looked at each other after the sun rose and realized it was time to pack up and get ready to go back to school. They packed up their things after getting ready, looking back to their now empty campsite. They intertwined fingers heading to Victoria's car. Victoria stopped Max by a pull of her hand. "I have to ask you something" Victoria nervously asked. Max shrugged indicated her to continue on, "umm yesterday, when you were texting your friend Clover...you two were just friends right?" Victoria asked avoiding eye contact. Max realized Victoria may have been worried because her and chloe were close. She reassured her that all was fine "yes, Tori I love you...if I had any romances in the past I would've told you by now. Chloe is my best friend we've known each other for a long time, you have nothing to worry about okay?" Victoria nodded. They continued on to Victoria's car. Victoria pushed the key in the ignition, she thought 'silly me, of course Clover and Max were just friends...I've got nothing to worry about right? Right?'. She started her car, holding her right hand with Max's left hand, squeezing it and smiling at her. Driving back to Blackwell academy with little worry but a memory of her Valentine's Day with her love.

[dadsontour]

Dads on tour: Things operate a little differently in Argentina

My dad loves to write a holiday letter. And they’re usually too funny not to share. Names have been changed to protect fellow passengers (you’ll understand why)…

This letter is the latest update on the current jaunt around South America.

“It was interesting that the passports were processed overnight on the boat by the Argentineans, content to put a stamp inside, and then assume everyone found their way off the boat and onshore at Ushuaia.  Then,  on passing through security to board for El Calafate, no need to take out the computer, “just go through!”

El Calafate is quite a few degrees north of Ushuaia and finds itself at the southern end of the northern Patagonia if you get what I mean.  

Clearly not enough pre travel research done here as it came as a surprise to be out on the Argentinean steppe, with snow covered mountains in the distance.  Not too much grows here, even the sheep are sparsely spread.  

The calafate berry however is fairly common across all environments in this part of the world – a fruit very similar to a blueberry but growing on an incredibly threatening bush best described as a cross between a box thorn and a blackberry, but more thorns! Needless to say it is possible to load up on its jam, wine, soaps and anything else that can be flavoured.  

Argentina seems to be grappling with tourism as a means of boosting the floundering economy in these parts. Prices are all over the place.  Yes staple items seem cheap  (the humble empanada, Sth America’s answer to the meat pie,  is everywhere) but then anything with a scent of tourism about it, starts at $150 (that would be 150 Argentinean Pesos - roughly $10USD).  

With a change to a conservative government just over 12 months ago there is an attempt to cool down inflation but the figures were released yesterday showing that the inflation rate for the year just gone was 36%  with 25% expected in 2017.

That is a country in turmoil, which under the previous government just printed more money and claimed inflation was not a problem.  The Big Mac index was manipulated by doing a deal with McDonalds that the Big Mac had to be the cheapest in the world here if they wanted to trade in Argentina.  

To fill in an afternoon waiting for the bus to head further north, what better than a long walk to and around a wetland, supposedly displaying local birdlife – yes 150 Pesos later and having seen a few gulls and 3 stray dogs a contribution to the economy had been made!  A few days later I subsequently found the birdlife in abundance further around the bay – they too seemingly didn’t want to pay admission.

“The buses are an experience in themselves. Both the buses and the drivers are oversized.”

From here a short bus ride of 210 kms finds the far north outpost of Patagonia at El Chaten.   The buses are an experience in themselves.  Oversized (both the buses and the drivers), the buses come with an air horn that seems to be the driver’s main weapon as he blasts it incessantly to terrorise smaller vehicles as well as greet all his friends along the way. 

It was not difficult to translate the airhorn messages.  The road (Ruta 40) has its own “legendary” history, snaking north to south through Argentina as far as politics and waterways will permit. It is well made but comes with painted sidelines only, lending itself to some degree of negotiation (for want of a better word) about where the centre of the road is.  

The buses work on Sth American time of course (as one Argentinean said to me, there is no word in Spanish that literally means NOW, rather than say sometime in the next 15 minutes).

“The lottery of preallocated bus seating”

Having paid the 20 pesos tax to “use” the bus terminal, the lottery of preallocated bus seating had me seated beside an Italian traveller who was couch surfing through South America whilst doing his PhD in Taiwan, before returning to his Italian roots mid year (only child and his parents wanted him back!) to set up a permaculture business.

Of course his supervisor was not aware he was out of Taiwan and Piedro was still contemplating how he would explain unavailability for a meeting in Taiwan next Friday, let alone that he wouldn’t be back until March!  Adding new meaning to “working from home”, his thesis on the impact of radiation on permacultures near power stations hit hurdles getting any radiation data from the Government, but of course the PhD was going on.

El Chalten is a small village of 600 people in winter, exploding to backpacker central in summer.  If you are not compressed between an oversized backpack and a day pack on the chest, then there is an uncomfortable feeling of being out of place.  

Of course this is way beyond the travel plans of the American traveller – not too many backpacks there!  Apart from Argentineans in large numbers, French, German and Australian accents abound.  With a degree of embarrassment I extracted my suitcase with wheels from the luggage pit of the bus and headed off directly over the road to a hostelia as the burdened down back packers headed off into the distance to find their hostels much further along the one main (paved) road that joined the 15 blocks of El Chalten.  

So what is the difference between a hostelia and a hostel?  I suspect it starts with being opposite the bus terminal and having an ensuite, but let’s not get too carried away, having the proportions of a typical Japanese hotel room, where the walls can almost be touched from the centre of the room and in this case where the walls and ceilings are so thin that the snoring above and beside booms in!

A hostelia, as with a hostel no doubt, has a friendly feeling.  People talk!  On the first morning I met some Brits sharing a transfer out to a strategic starting point on the walk to Mt Fitzroy.  The conversation was interrupted mid sentence by “Is that a British accent I hear?” directed at the people behind.  Oh the excitement -  they had not met a single Brit in the last two weeks.  

“Brits can’t afford to travel now you know”

I was dropped like a hot spud as they shared their stories of what they managed to book pre Brexit and how they are now suffering.  “Brits can’t afford to travel now you know”  My immediate thoughts were of a penniless Barmy Army unable to make the journey to Australia next summer.  

The fellow Brit behind was contemplating how she could face up to ever working full time again – she liked her travel. “We thought we met some Brits the other day but they turned out to be Australians” said in disgust!  Needless to say I met them many times over, he craving for a “good feed of hake” and she for wi-fi.  Alas they would be back in Bath by mid week.

Armed with a “hostelia lunchbox”  (150 pesos of course!) the walk to Mt Fitzroy o Chalten provided another set of stunning landscapes with the physical challenge of a rise of 400 metres in the last 1 km to the glacial lake at the base of the peak.  

They were deciding to take a naked plunge into the glacial waters to test the impact of glaciation on the human appendage “

With many many people doing this walk at this time of year the stage was set for an extrovert or two, so there they were deciding to take a naked plunge into the glacial waters to test the impact of glaciation on the human appendage – they soon found out!  I guess by now the whole performance is across Facebook many times over.

The second most popular walk is of similar distance, but supposedly up a much more gentle slope to Lago Torres, another glacial lake, containing lots of icebergs.  

A gentle walk in a glacial valley – there is an oxymoron with boulders to be dodged and climbed over.  Nevertheless, another meeting with Piedro along the track indicated that the PhD wasn’t progressing too far.  Once at the lake with some great views, which could have been even greater had the cloud blown away (but not to be), the option existed for a short climb further up the moraine to look down on the glacier as it breaks off into the lake.  

Welcome Demitrios, who has travelled to these parts from Greece, joining a camping trip in a yellow truck which started back in Quito in November and will finish at Rio for the Carnivale.  Now Demitrios asked if he could follow me up this track as he was scared of heights.  

“I must be in the centre of the photo, everytime!”

I soon found out why he wanted to follow.  “Could you take  a photo of me here please?”  ... and here...and here!  “I must be in the centre of the photo, everytime!”  OK he has a photo of himself hiding the glacier, etc, etc.  I left Demitrios at the top contemplating if he would break away from his camping trip as he didn’t really like camping anyway.  “You know I am a winter swimmer”  No, before you think it there were icebergs in this lake!

An early morning departure from El Chalten back to El Calafate with a bus driver obsessed with his air horn ensured that those bedraggled backpackers some of whom looked like they had slept on the hard earth with their thin sleeping mats (I do remember!) one night too many could not get any rest onboard.  

I travelled beside an Argentinean student who had studied law and decided he could not change the world by that means so had turned to studying his passion (music) and doing the things he really wanted to do.  Interesting conversation as he spoke of life in B.A. post the election a year ago where as he put it a bad government took over from a poorly performing one.  

He was genuinely concerned for his future as a young person in Argentina.  All of that said he reminded me of how safe a place Argentina is for travel (“but be very careful in B.A.”)

So, back to El Calafate for one last dose of Patagonia to visit the amazing Perito Moreno Glacier, the glacier of all glaciers in the park.  A quick check in to the hotel which seemed to waver between being upmarket and mutton dressed up as lamb.  It is located on the Avenue of the Liberator –South American cities seem to make big statements in their street names.  

With a small degree of pain and suffering in the calves from the previous few days of walking, taking the elevator up the one floor seemed a good alternative.  Good, until it refused to open at piso 2.  

“The lift is stuck, get me out of here!”

Now here’s a challenge,  Spanish classes didn’t extend to “The lift is stuck, get me out of here!”  No phone available so what does a person do?  Ringing the alarm bell and thumping on the door didn’t produce the desired result.  In time the sound of a vacuum cleaner was in earshot and with increased intensity of bashing on the door, eventually a room service man came to the rescue forcing the door open.  Needless to say the lift has been out of service since.

Perito Moreno Glacier lived up to expectations, even if it came after grappling with a bus load of “locals” who had to be first off the bus, first on the boat,  in the best positions for selfies on the boat for the first 5 minutes before going back inside and then first off the boat.  

What an amazing sight to see pieces of ice calving off the front of the glacier  and crashing to the water with a noise equivalent to a clap of thunder.  At 70 metres in height at the front, it is a lot of ice coming into the water.  

Wow!  Patagonia has been absolutely amazing and has certainly lived up to all the expectations I had prior to the trip.

Dad

[jaeneral]

“they say the dead walk these woods freely. ridin’ on beasts taller and wider than any man anyone has ever seen. wolves so ferocious, that our own in elwynn are nothing but gentle an’ tame dogs next to them. spiders so black and cruel, that the ones crawlin’ my home forest are small, little bugs kids play with. and the dead mount them and raid these cursed roads, killin’, hackin’, slashin’ every living being they see. doesn’t matter... old or young. woman or child. none escape the wrath of the dead.” the boy smacked his lips, giving his best to hide the devilish grin tickling his plump, worm-like lips. short of stature and scrawny, the boy smelled of summer and of sunlight, of fresh bread and pork belly pie, of flowers, of laughter and of green grass. what did he know about duskwood? in defiance, J. paid him no attention, although the subtle gasps and ragged breaths of his companions were more than enough to fill the big-mouthed boy’s chest with pride.

their guide, a massive yet limp of foot man, spared no glance behind his shoulder, nor he heeded to confirm or deny the frightening rumours. slow yet steady, stubbornly refusing to burden himself with a walking cane, he lead the pack of green boys through tangled twigs and foul, earthly smells. “a bloody bear mauled me leg, almos’ ripped it apart,” he had found little courtesy to cure the boys’ curiosity after they’d been rudely staring at the way the man walked, taking them for young fools who were yet to know what the night watch was made of. he smelled of sweat and rotten flesh, his bristly beard festered by fleas, teeth yellowed by time, a deep, old scar adorning the left side of his face from the edge of his brow to the hollow of his cheek. “twas a ghoul, a nasty one,” he claimed, ignoring the muffled guffaws of the boys. they whispered of walking dead, but none of them truly believed in them.

and young fools they were for that. the scrawny boy had lived all his life in goldshire, sickly and frail, still clinging to his mother’s breast at the shameful age of 13. dusty was his name, sent off by his surly father to serve the watchmen and, hopefully for him, die and never return. the taller one was as silent as he was sturdy, his gaunt cheeks strangely contrasting with the small dots meant to be his eyes, enlarged pupils shivering from left to right, scouting the darkness of the trees for any dangers which may arise. he spoke little, so J. didn’t know his name, however he was certain he had one. and it’s the same parents that had given him his name that sent him off, stripping him of land rights and passing them to his much younger, stronger and smarter brother.

the third one was a real fool, the smug grin never leaving his lips, thinking of himself above of serving under the night watch, but he had to pay for his thievery in stormwind --- off with a hand, or off to duskwood to protect the people of darkshire. J. hardly held back a smile thinking of how the idiot pissed himself when he was given these choices with no way out towards freedom, but now he strutted like a little lord, shoving his wooden club through spiky bushes, claiming to be taunting the dead. roel he called himself, and he was as ugly as the veteran guiding them towards the town of darkshire, yet his heart and soul weren’t twisted yet by the wickedness of this forsaken land. J. liked none of them, cautiously keeping himself away at least a few feet from all of them, his tall, lean figure concluding the small array of cloaked shadows striding the main road. the crown spared no good men for keeping the southern forests safe, so they sent off the lowest of scum, forcing them into servitude, and no one was worse than J.

countless of sins have dried blood on his hands, countless of scars held dreadful, sinful stories under their hideous appearance and countless of nightmares would haunt his sleep, the rogue knowing better than anyone that whatever duskwood had prepared for him, it didn’t compare with the atrocities he had committed under the heavy hand of edwin vancleef. the iron-branded mark itched under his leather vest, a grim reminder of what he had chosen to flee to, of the false justice he thought he had been serving on the innocent souls of westfall. his sins to carry for the rest of the days, but his fighting skills, his cunning mind and his agile feet were what darkshire needed, a criminal as he was, yet the brave men of the night watch would not spare him with a quick death. he remembered admitting that he’d rather have his head cut off, than given a second chance, and 16 as he was, no one listened to him. 

his tongue was burdened by words he dare not spoke, words he had little interest in sharing in the first place, but the silence was brooding and his companions were skittering around him like children. “there’s no dead ridin’ these woods,” he hissed. “death? oh yes. we passed raven hill. the whole sad lot of them ravaged til none was left. heard they threw babes in a hole and covered them in dirt. terrible things happened here, but there’s no corpse rolling in his grave. you’re bringing shame to all these people sufferin’ here.” the silence seemed to fall deeper after he spoke, not even worm-lips daring to raise his eyes at the former defias brother and quarrel with him. limping and puffing tired breaths of air ahead, the veteran watcher continued to ignore them. maybe someone would have gained some courage to argue with J., had they not halted their steps all at once, eyes creeping up on the white silks of the black widows arching from tree to tree. “look at it...,” the fool roel mused, the fear in his eyes trying to measure the sizes of the beasts which have left the tangled webs above their heads.

“aye.” with a limp turn of his heels, the veteran roared, annoyance radiating in his black, intimidating eyes. “you bunch of girls done wetting your pants? still a long road til darkshire, an’ i say we waste no time. they hunt and feast at night, and gods be merciful, the sun’s yet to set. but it won’t be long until the real darkness catches up on us, and then you’ll regret bein’ born boys. you’ve knowledge of no fear til you lived a whole night in these woods. aye, but that time will come later, none of you are prepared.” J. could feel the twitch on his lips, a defiant glint piercing towards the watchman. 

“not even you, defias pup.” spit came with each poisonous word he spoke, the sight of rotten teeth and cracked lips turning J.’s stomach upside down. what a terrible man. “this ain’t killing women with children hanging at their tits, or old men with blunt spikes protecting their rat-infested farms. all you killed was those weaker than you. and only now, defias pup, you face real danger. the wolves won’t cry for mercy, the bears won’t bow their heads in shame, the ghouls won’t scream runnin’ when they see you comin’. oh no, defias pup, and all of you useless maggots, oh no. you’d be the ones needin’ a pair o’ eyes to watch your backs.”

and the road to darkshire was as long as he promised, and the sun was slowly being swallowed by an unseen horizon. and the night came.

[ecotone99]

[MF] The Last Burglary

David had been tracking Stacy’s movements and list of the other people visiting the house. No one had come into the house, except her and time being maids for the morning. She went out for night parties. She was a lonely soul, who lived her life to fullest without any burden of attachments, bondages and responsibilities or relationship issues.

He could not risk asking anyone and everyone casually, like an inquisitive curious tourist eager to know about the people and places. His features betrayed him, they outdid the normal caricature of a tourist. He was very stealthy in his moments, keeping as low as possible.

In his lifetime, he had committed many burglaries without getting busted. Over time, he always worked solo. A partner meant a share of the pie and you need to back him which he may or may not do for you. It would be a loop for leakage hence David always worked solo.

He had once made a mistake of taking a partner in for a job. A partner named Maria. The incident that he could never forget in his life. They were not busted but the house they had broken into belonged to a well-known mafia thug. David’s recce proved wrong the night they broke in. The thugs were in the house and caught David and Maria. The house had turned into a battlefield grimacing rounds gunfire continued for a while. Ultimately Maria and David ended up getting caught.

The thugs tied up David and Maria and tortured them. Maria was raped hour after hour by the gang members. At the end of the third day, David managed to free themselves but they caught Maria and slaughtered her. David kept staring at the rueful sight. Tears escaping his eyes, inaudible sobs and choked up inaudible words escaping his lips. All this while he had been hiding a few feet away. He could not muster up the courage to do anything.

Maria kept looking in his direction. She wanted him to come and save her but David didn’t. He stayed stoned in his place watching the gang members slaughtering Maria’s naked body into pieces of flesh.

Though he couldn’t hear what Maria was trying to speak, he could read her lips. Her eyes flushed with anger and a feeling of betrayal for David.

“You left me alone, but I’ll never leave you.” Her eyes closed and still, the thugs kept slaughtering her. Tears rolled down David’s eyes but he could do anything.

From that day onwards, David worked solo. It had been years after that incident, the memories of those days still haunted him day and night alike.

From his three weeks recce, he knew that the woman inside the house has no need to do anything for living as she floated on an ocean of cash with no legacy to be left behind. Everything she inherited was still a mystery. The house which had been under David’s surveillance was also located in such an area where every nearest neighbour lived miles away.

Stacy’s house was spread out on thousands of square feet. It was a villa, one of its kind. The interiors blurted out loudly ‘nothing ordinary in taste’. Thus David had been tempted to a great extent to make it his last target, as of now.

David packed his duffel carefully and drove back. He had planned to break into the house the next day. After the sun bid everyone goodbye, Stacy will be out for her party night. David had checked the security system, the best in its class but it was no match to his skills, only he could breach it. After all, he was quite gifted with skill at par which had no match and with all the unique toys he had in his duffel. He could even break through the world’s most secure places.

David reached the highway motel, where he had rented a room at a very cheaper rate. The reason for such choices was, the motel lacked the basic surveillance and had no frequent guests. The staff too hardly comprised three people with no kitchen setup. It was perfect for the wanderlust backpackers.

He walked into his room, dimly lit with the only light in the room. He took a quick shower and kept his sandwiches, he had picked on the way, in micro and pulled out a can of beer from the refrigerator in the room.

He took a sip of beer and a bite of sandwich and sat on the cranky bed. His mind humming with the plan of action for the following day. Though he had worked out every inch of his plan over and over again, he felt he still needed some more time. He wanted to be sure for one more last time.

He lit his cigar and walked to the only window in the room. The winter had turned harsh and snow was inevitable. He smiled, the season would keep the people halt back wherever they were. No one to look around or peep out to see what’s going on in their neighbourhood.

He stayed on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Memories of Maria kept coming back to him as he closed his eyes. He woke up, sweating like a dog before the dawn break. He walked into the bathroom and turned on the hot shower to rinse his memories down the sink.

David got up early that morning and continued his routine. Till noon, he appeared to be an aged tourist enjoying his retired life to anyone and everyone who crossed his path. He checked out from the motel early that evening and reached his destination.

He stayed in his truck, parked behind thick bushes, away from the main road to avoid any suspicion. He had planned his exit very well so that he could not be traced, like always.

David had studied the security system of the house. It was one of the best where no guards would be needed. Digital lock panel and pressure sensors. A single wrong move and all the cops in the area would be flooding the house in three minutes. However, David too was best in his class. He had bypassed much higher securities without tripping any of them.

David was now waiting for Stacy to go out and it would be a cakewalk for him. His schedule had been somehow interrupted by snow. He had been watching through the scope but he had yet not spotted her inside. Maybe she had already left early or she had not yet returned from last night’s party.

After taking the last surveillance of the surroundings, David stepped out of the car. He had covered his shoes with latex booties to avoid the prints and so his hands covered with latex gloves. He never trusted fibers as it could leave a trace and it could be traced with DNA profiling, straight to him.

He picked the right side of the house to step in the compound from the thick bushes to avoid the main gate of heavy metal guarded by the surveillance camera. He was very careful once he passed the fence of the compound, keeping his eyes at every possible corner. Avoiding himself from being spotted. He hid behind a small bush, the low light gave him the perfect cover.

Once sure that nobody was watching him he crouched slowly to the main door and plugged the device into the digital lock panel on the door. The number started running down and the device finally showed the code to unlock the door.

He closed the door behind and disabled the security system and pressure sensors. He inhaled the fresh air deeply and looked around. The house as expected was dark with no lights on. He smiled as his prediction about Stacy had been impeccable. She had not returned from the previous night’s party. He pulled out the penlight and illuminated the living area.

A lavish palace would be a no match for the interior of the house, it had antique showpieces and many canvases from famous artists. The light from David’s pen torch hit the crystal piece on the tea table surrounded by the leather sofas. He bent down to have a closer look. A single pieced mermaid ashtray. He was desperate to touch it, but it was of no value to him. His rule was simple, whatever he touched he would take it. He walked past the dining area and to the stairs on the left leading up.

David was as stealthy as possible in his moves and walked up with his one hand holding the penlight and another touching his KA-BAR knife tucked in his waistband. His colt was strapped to his ankle. It was David’s last weapon of choice by as guns’ always made a sound no matter how good a suppressor you have on the muzzle.

And then, he heard the sound. Every nerve in his body stretched and alert. He walked at the door of the room from where the sound had come. A bead of sweat rolled down his neck through his jawline. He could see the light from the bottom of the door, someone was definitely inside. He pressed his ear over the door to get a clean earshot. All he could hear was some sound but couldn’t make out what it was. After a while, the sound stopped and someone was humming sweetly inside.

For a moment, a thought crossed David’s mind to run back and leave the place but something within him held him back. He took a deep breath and looked at the other rooms which were locked. Pricking the lock of doorknob may make some sound and that could alert anyone inside, probably Stacy, if she was in the room.

David unstrapped his colt and pulled it out. It was not to fire but to scare whoever was inside. Holding his gun tightly in one hand with a safety lock on, the fingers of the other hand slid over the doorknob and wrapped across it. He softly turned the knob to avoid possible click sound and walked in.

What he saw was unlike any terrible shock, he had had in his life. He did not see Stacy but Maria, lying naked on the bed, pooled in blood. Her limbs scattered on the bed and under her on the bed was the jewellery and the dollars stained in her blood.

Maria’s head turned to him and smiled. The head rose from the bed in the air and came face to face. David was stoned.

“I told you, I won’t leave you. I have been waiting for you for many years.” Maria’s head smiled. Her smile turned into laughter, rattling the walls of the house. The colt fell from his hand and he tightly closed his ears and shut his eyes.

The slaughtered body of David was found in his truck after two days. The parts of his body served the feast to dogs and flies. State police ran down every possible check on what had happened and how it happened.There was no house nearby, the house in which David had gone in and met Maria.

​

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[newstfionline]

Crime is down, but many Americans don’t feel safe

Patrik Jonsson, CS Monitor, September 29, 2017

ATLANTA--As recently as five years ago, says Urban Pie pizza shop owner Lisa Curtis, crime was so bad in her Atlanta neighborhood that newly planted rose bushes would get dug up and carted away by thieves.

So when a succession of gunshots rang out in late August, leaving a local rapper dead near her restaurant door, the scene could well have served as evidence of the growing “American carnage” described by President Trump amid a rise in violent crime in some US cities in 2015 and 2016.

Yet where such criminal mayhem may have once been routine here on Atlanta’s urban east side, today it is an anomaly. The Zone 6 precinct has become the city’s most peaceful corner, according to an Atlanta Police Department analysis, when it comes to theft and violent crime. That’s partly due to an influx of wealthier residents, more effective police crime-fighting strategies, improving schools, and a blossoming local economy that benefits a wide swath of Atlantans.

“Nothing changed, nobody is staying in and locking their doors,” says Ms. Curtis. “Everybody knows that this is about a few people--the same ones who keep shooting each other and getting shot. If anything, [the restaurant has] been busier as people have come out to show support.”

To some observers, the killing of Jibril Abdur-Rahman and the neighborhood’s shocked but measured reaction can be seen as part of a shifting “paradox of fear” in America.

On one hand, people became 62 percent less likely to become the victim of a violent crime between 1993 and 2014. The number of violent-crime victims per 1,000 persons age 12 or older dropped from 29.3 to just 11.1 in that period, according to Bureau of Justice Statistics.

And so far, 2017 is on track to have the second-lowest violent crime rate of any year since 1990, according to figures released this month by the nonpartisan Brennan Center for Justice.

On the other, surveys are finding many Americans convinced that a general crime threat against law-abiding Americans is rising. That sentiment has at times found an outlet in President Trump and Attorney General Jeff Sessions, who together have painted scenes of worsening urban “war zones.”

It’s a conundrum: While US neighborhoods, as a whole, are safer than at any time in the past 25 years, many Americans remain convinced that crime is a growing problem.

Part of people’s outlook depends on where they are viewing from: Rural Americans are far more likely to believe the narrative of big crime in the big city. One of them is Trump voter Skip Dempsey, of Social Circle, Ga. From his rural perch, Atlanta, 45 minutes to the west, reminds him of a “Blade Runner”-like no-man’s-land where “blood runs in the streets”--and where the threat from “thugs” is constant.

Urban residents, meanwhile, who see firsthand children riding their bikes and people walking dogs at night through formerly high-crime neighborhoods, are more likely to be aware of the gains. Also playing into the question of perception versus reality, criminologists say, is our polarized worldviews and how those views can be influenced and manipulated by Hollywood, the media, and politicians. Economic uncertainty, political unrest, and a lack of civility also erode people’s feelings of safety.

“The reason people so easily embrace this idea that things are bad out there … is because there is a level of discord. If we were all getting along and not distrusting our neighbor, we wouldn’t be so easily persuaded by a short-term spike in crime into thinking that the sky is falling,” says Northeastern University criminologist James Alan Fox in Boston.

Instead, “it doesn’t matter that the homicide rate is half of what it was 25 years ago--those are just numbers,” adds Mr. Fox. “What matters is you can turn on a television set and see plenty of crime. We are saturated with crime.”

Yet dig deeper and criminologists and political scientists suggest that rising crime is not top of mind for political strategists nor, necessarily, US police departments, the vast majority of which are seeing the positive impacts of data-driven policing strategies.

And a large majority of Americans as a whole, at least by some measurements, feel relatively safe in their own surrounds. In findings that have been mirrored elsewhere, a Journal of General Internal Medicine study found only 8.7 percent of Americans over 50 regarded their immediate neighborhood as unsafe; 68 percent considered it “very safe.”

“People hear rhetoric about crime, they see crime on the evening news, but they know in their own minds that they are safer than they used to be,” says Ames Grawert, a counsel in the Brennan Center’s Justice Program in New York. That, he says, “is why, even if they think crime is going up in the United States, many feel like their neighborhood is safer than ever.”

In fact, he adds, “cities have been the principal beneficiary of crime declining--and that includes New York City, which now has a lower murder rate than the nation as a whole, where 20 years ago it was a dangerous city.”

To be sure, a spike in violence in Chicago, Baltimore, and Washington, D.C., drove a national murder rate increase in 2015 and 2016. But this year, the rate appears once again to be tacking downward--even in Chicago. The murder rate is projected to fall by 2.5 percent in 2017, according to the Brennan Center. If that holds true, it would be the lowest since 2009.

Yet outsize crime fears clearly have had political impact in the US--and could extend to policy as the Trump administration pushes for higher mandatory minimum sentences for drug offenses and scales back ethics oversight of local police departments.