#feeling compelled to throw this post into the void

[mostspecialgirl]

To me they are the same. Is this controversial. Is this weird

[hawkogurl]

Hi! 😊 I saw you post something saying it was clear to you that raimi harry Osborn was schizophrenic do you think you could please explain that a bit? (If you've already made a post about it and I've just missed it I apologise) Have a nice day!

Probably won’t be the best worded so I’ll be happy to elaborate further. Also feel compelled to state that I probably view that constitutes canon pretty differently than most people. What I mean by the idea that Harry having some sort of psychotic disorder in the raimiverse is at least semi-canon is generally pretty complicated so bear with me.

A lot of what has brought me to this conclusion is pretty doylist. It’s not a plot hole that Harry’s hallucinating in the second movie, the way the first two movies are written in this regard before Sony decided to fuck with things in the third is too deliberate. Raimi’s history as a horror directors shows in a lot of areas, but it never really feels like he’s throwing elements in for the hell of it, whenever something feels horrorish, it’s pretty deliberate. All this to say that Harry’s not hallucinating for the hell of it.

When it comes to specifically raimiverse based interpretation, there’s generally four things I see a lot. The first and in my opinion weakest being the idea that it’s happening as a result of the serum in the nearby hidden room leaking. I understand how this is seen as appealing or interesting, especially in any case where someone might think it doesn’t make sense for Harry not to have developed a goblin persona like Norman had. In the past I’ve gone into how I believe that’s also a pretty deliberate narrative choice, so putting all that aside, I don’t think it makes sense for this to be intended by the creators. From a writing standpoint, if that’s what we were supposed to think, you’d be shown shots to indicate things like that. Additionally, the serum itself is always shown to be stored in a liquid form, only gas when it’s applied to a person, a process that consistently requires quite a bit of machinery. I understand the appeal of the theory, but if I’m looking at what I think is most likely to be the thought in the creators heads, I don’t think this is likely.

I also see it generally get dismissed as ghosts a lot, which also feels strange to me. The only other instance of something happening that could be seen as similarly supernatural would also be in this movie, being the scene where Peter, conflicted about how being Spider-Man effects his life, has a conversation with Ben, who is also dead, in the car from the first movie in the middle of a white void. This scene occurs in an ambiguous white background using imagery from the last conversation Peter had with Ben before he died and also draws on how that conversation has affected Peter’s worldview. This scene ends by cutting to Peter, who’s sitting in bed with his eyes open as he comes to the conclusion he can’t keep being Spider-Man. Because of the framing of it in a space that isn’t recognizable as the normal physical world and the fact we’re shown Peter in the physical world after it, we’re not meant to be taking this scene literally. This scene is a metaphorical expression of Peter’s internal conflict, not a literal event that’s physically happening in any sort of meaningful capacity. It’s a visual expression of a non physical story element. This isn’t all that important for my point, but I find it important to state for later comparison.

This leaves Harry’s interactions with Norman after he’s died as the only remaining event that can be simply explained with the supernatural. That being said, it doesn’t really make internal sense for this to be the case. Though fantastical, every superhuman element of this story has been at least connected to some sort of scientific idea that grounds it in reality, never something more fantastical. The Green Goblin is the result of a performance enhancing drug created for the military. Doc Ock is the result of malfunctioning AI and his most dangerous goals rely on using nuclear fusion to create energy. Sandman was created by the writer’s rather incorrect idea of what a particle accelerator is. Venom is an alien, but still connected pretty blatantly to real life biology ideas of real word symbiotes. It’s all rather fantastical and implausible, but it’s all still connected to real world familiar scientific ideas. To randomly bring the supernatural into it for scenes it could be easily replaced with something else to accomplish the same end results and never elaborating on the idea that apparently ghosts are real would be a really bizarre world building choice.

But going back to the scene with Peter, unlike that this scene is not framed to be metaphorical. It’s happening in the real world right before and after real physical events with Harry and has physical results on the world and the characters. In some capacity, what’s happening here is literal—but I don’t think that means some piece of Norman is physically there. The audience is viewing this alongside Harry and from his perspective, there’s never any other character who’s present for scenes where Harry experiences things like this. The events are literal and intended to be something physically happening, but only from Harry’s perspective. There’s no other set of eyes to establish the reality of this from beyond Harry’s sole perspective.

Among the common theories I see, I probably like the idea that it’s alcohol induced the second most. I don’t really like to demean it because I think it’s very likely that this idea is important to people in the same way it being psychological is important to me. That being said, I don’t know how much I think it holds up to scrutiny. Yes, Harry’s shown to be drinking pretty heavily around this period, but in the moment he first experiences his hallucinations, he’s not shown to be drinking. He at least appears to be somewhat sober. In the second instance, he is shown to drink, but only in the literal seconds before he hallucinates. If this is intended to be the actual cause, the creators would more likely put more emphasis on him drinking in relation to the hallucinations or similar. That being said, I have reasons I think it was kept more vague that I’ll get into.

If I’m looking at what was likely intended, the most likely doylist explanation for why these scenes exist, the idea it’s psychological for him is the only thing that’s going to consistently check out. For one thing, in the comics, Harry is schizophrenic! That’s outright the word used to describe what he has going on, he is diagnosed with schizophrenia. Additionally, in a lot of comics with Harry at the time, he’s hallucinating Norman as an expression of a lot of his internal conflicts, similarly to what we see here. In the comics that Raimi Harry most closely follows the broader beats of, he has persecutory hallucinations of his father as an expression of his internal conflict, hallucinations that target the things that he feels make him weak and drive him towards his worst behaviors while also being specifically schizophrenic. In the raimi trilogy, Harry develops persecutory hallucinations of his father that particularly target the idea that he feels weak and drive him towards his worst behaviors. From that alone, it’s not irrational to conclude that it’s at least something of a reference towards his schizophrenia in the comics.

What’s more, in the novelizations it appears to be rather explicit. While interviews and Reddit AMAs have made it somewhat clear that Peter David, their author, did have quite a bit of freedom, they also made it clear he was still obligated to follow the scripts he was given rather closely and his writing still had to be approved. The novels were primarily only allowed elaboration, not outright reimagining. In the novelizations, Harry is written to hallucinate much more frequently. He’s often paranoid of the world. His behavior is more erratic. He experiences moments of Cotard’s delusion. His behavior through the third movie goes from likely being inspired by or intended to reference and imply Harry’s comic-canon schizophrenia to, in the novels, being outright written to resemble and follow the symptoms of schizophrenia far more closely. While they very much aren’t the movies, the fact that they were being written from the scripts at the time of the movies release and a lot of the information we have on how they were written does point me towards the idea that while you can’t exactly treat them as above the movies in terms of what’s canon, you can treat them very fairly as auxiliary information in terms of interpreting the intended story.

Additionally, I think they provide a pretty interesting piece of information that also sort of solidifies the idea for me that what Harry’s experiencing is some form of psychosis. Harry only develops these issues after learning Peter is Spider-Man. Not after taking the serum, specifically immediately after learning Peter is Spider-Man. At this point in the story, Peter is Harry’s closest friend and arguably the most important person in Harry’s life. I don’t need to explain that Spider-Man is the exact opposite. It’s likely rather shattering to how Harry perceives reality to realize the most important person in his life is the person he hates the most, and that he’s been lying to him after in Harry’s perception killing his father for multiple years. Psychosis is specifically a break in someone’s grasp on reality. I don’t think it’s that hard for me to believe that a revelation that shattered how Harry perceived reality that severely might risk causing a psychotic episode of some form.

Additionally, it’s the most consistent with how the world and writing of these movies work internally. It’s never really about the fantastical elements narratively—these movies are about people. The internal, human elements of these characters lives are the most emphasized, the supernatural elements are almost always allegorically connected to some aspect of humanity or very human flaws. That’s always what’s emphasized. Narratively, the goblin is representative of Norman’s greed and ego, his conviction that he is superior to others and entitled to power and control. Otto isn’t about the arms, not really, it’s about selfishly motivated ambition even with the best of intentions and turning those motivations into selfless ones. Flint being Sandman is secondary to how poverty has fucked him over, how he’s been forced into crime in his desperation to help his ill daughter. Eddie wasn’t really corrupted by Venom, he was a selfish and self centered man with a massive sense of entitlement to what he wanted who was given the power to do what he wanted. By extension, it makes the most sense that Harry, who’s already defined by trauma, cycles of abuse and identity would be far more connected to the very human idea of mental illness than something far less poignant like inexplicable supernatural elements.

All this to say that when I, guy who’s always going to feel compelled to take doylism and authorial intent into account when doing my analysis, look at all the information that I have, I think it’s very likely that Harry’s comics schizophrenia or hallucinations were on the writer’s minds when they were planning out or writing the scenes I am referring to. I don’t think that was ever likely to end up explicit—it’s not practical for a movie with its demographic, with a studio prone to intervention, especially with how messy SM3’s development was. It’s not practical for it to be super explicit in a movie of its demographic in 2007, but I think it’s very likely to be on the writers minds when it was written.

[progenycursed]

Heya, love your comic! I had a question though, does your PK realise that the impure vessels were fully sentient or does he think they just weren't fully hollow but also not completely alive, for the lack of a better word? I might be wrong, but from what we've seen of him so far it feels like he wouldn't be the type to kill children if he knew they were full on children and not just undead things with a defect?

(Sorry if it came off as rude or anything, I pulled an all nighter so my wording skills died in the ditch, I ADORE your comic though! Can't wait to see more of it 👀 it's so fun)

YES! A chance to lore dump! And proof that I’ve been characterizing decently!

In this AU, I don't image him standing at the top of the abyss, judging every vessel that makes it up with a toss or a take. I’m of the mind that the climb Ghost does in the game is them getting their memories back, so many of them are blurring together and/or symbolic. It wasn’t actually raining dead siblings all the time.

I just have the Pale King waiting for ANY vessel to make it up. The abyss is harsh. I tried to show it in one of Hollow's flashbacks as well as the vessel bios, that many/most of the vessels don't even make it out of the egg. Those that do, have to deal with void pools trying to kill them and even their fallen siblings attacking them. When he isn’t at the top, waiting and compelling them to climb, most of the vessels never bother trying the perilous and pointless climb. They are just trying to survive. So very, very few of them ever make it up to him. When they do, he would just take who shows up.

He granted the ability of higher thought for all within his domain. And with his power of soul and his heightened senses, he can sense all life, movement, and sense any mind. Even fragmented ones or wild animals. So he can sense the smallest forms of life and the most primitive of minds.

With the vessels, he never sensed any of that from any of them. Not even traces or fragmets. Every single one of his senses are telling him the vessels are nothing more than walking corpses. But even corpses have essence. They don't even have that, the traces that it was once alive. The void is his opposite. It is death and darkness. His senses, all non-void beings senses, are not designed to comprehend it. Even though the vessels have minds, no one but other void beings can sense it.

Any time a vessel went wrong, he would rationalize they went rouge for any number of reasons. None of them being that they had a mind. At least not in a way he could feel confident in saying they had one. I’m not sure if I’m showing it well in the comic, but he has his doubts about the vessels being pure. Which is why he made the tests we see in chapter 3. Testing for curiosity, pateience, and pain. Why we see a guest appearance from the White Lady in chapter 5. But he has no solid proof to back up the one instinct he’s desperately trying to push down for this plan to work. Take a guess which instinct it is >:D

So yes! You are correct. By the time the hollow knight plan was started, the Pale King would never throw a living being into the abyss. In fact, he tries his damdest to ensure no one ends up there even by accident. He views the citizen of Hallownest as his children. And while a lot of the community has it where the White Lady is the caring parent and the Pale King is the uncaring/distant one, I view it more the other way around. But that’s a block of text for a different post.

He wasn’t always a good god-king. Especially in the early cycles. Where his complete lack of understanding of mortals lead to many a miserable life and early deaths. He got much better over the cycles when brave mortals were finally willing to tell the all powerful higher being he was wrong about something. He wants them to tell him, he wants to understand them, so he never gets mad when they do, but most are to scared to because he’s a god-king. So he tries to have a least one person around him who is willing to tell him he’s doing something wrong. Earning them the title of the King’s Keepers.

Even now he’s still not the best in many ways. The nuances of mortal social structure are strange and nonsensical to him. Why does it matter what color you wear to an anniversary party? So he can’t always tell what is ‘normal’ for mortals, and what is actual exploitation of others. Everyone within range is given a mind. What specious of bug they are has no effect on intelligence, and if he heard that argument he’d shut that shit down in a second. But he would have to know about it first. A dedicated enough upper class individual could easily stop those voices from ever getting to him. So there are still problems in Hallownest, but only because he doesn’t know about them.

TLDR

He can sense the mind and life force of everything. And has never sensed any mind or signs of life from any vessel, even when they went rouge. He hasn’t always been a good ruler, even now his ruling style has flaws, but he tries to keep his people happy. He would never throw a living being into the abyss, or subject anyone with a mind to containing an angry god for eternity.

And its great to hear people are enjoying my little AU. I also fear I am coming across rude with these replies. I’m always grateful and happy beyond words to get positive feedback, but I have no idea how to respond to it. Because a thank never feels good enough. But I mean it when I say, thank you!

[paranorahjones]

Ok so, for reverse unpopular opinion, MAWS and Stranger Things :).

I genuinely laughed out loud when I saw the second thing in this ask. Evil evil evil 🤣

BUT FIRST WE START WITH MAWS

@dangerously-human BLESS YOU for also asking me about MAwS, I'm gonna do a two-for-one here and tag you in this one (and then answer your other one afterwards)

I'm gonna try to keep my thoughts brief because I'm gonna make an incredibly long post about it later but main points:

I absolutely adore the way MAwS portrays physical and emotional attraction between two adults while balancing both of those aspects of romantic attraction in a way that never makes the viewer feel it's unrealistic or uncomfortable, or like either party is objectifying the other. This is what my long post will largely be about because the way it's done in MAwS feels incredibly rare and valuable.

This has been said by so many other people but I also just adore Clark Kent's character in MAwS. Until now I have never once found myself significantly compelled by any mainstream superhero media besides Megamind. I tried with Marvel and it didn't take. I saw less of DC and didn't really see anything that drew me in, though to be fair I didn't really look. I didn't grow up reading comics and only knew the characters by their stereotypes or their gritty, subversive adaptations that no one likes.

And then I watched MAwS and it changed everything. XD I care about all of it now. I want to know so much more.

I also really really love this adaptation of Lois Lane. I'm really not familiar with the others, but she's such a fun and real-feeling character. She's larger than life and also so down-to-earth when she needs to be. She makes mistakes a lot and does her best to right them, and it's so comforting that she really feels like exactly what she is: a 23-year-old intern with the energy of a caged comet, trying her best to live up to extremely high expectations and her own aspirations. Sometimes that energy goes in the wrong direction, but she is well-intentioned and genuine and really a sweetheart. I love her to death.

I just. ugh. I love them so much. 😭

Okay. Now for part two.

Stranger Things. Can I talk specifically about the first and second seasons? Because those two seasons, for the most part, felt like such a beautiful embodiment of the "love conquers all" trope that we both love. The boys protecting Eleven at the start and doing everything they could to help her, Mike especially doing his best to communicate with her and be a source of safety and comfort for her, and at the end of the first season, her sacrifice to protect all of them. Good gosh. I still can't watch that scene without crying. AND THEN IN THE SECOND SEASON us finding out that Mike tried to reach out into the void for Eleven every single day for 353 days straight?? Destroys me. Utterly. I love Mike so much. (also fun fact, if you add up the digits in 353 it equals 11. i remember binging the second season on the night it came out and screaming to myself about that when it came up.)

I'm gonna throw this link in here because it's one of the best fan edits I've ever seen in my entire life and it encapsulates all of my feelings about Mike and Eleven in season one. I remember watching it over and over again seven years ago and it still brings back all of those emotions. It's so good.

Additional things I love about Stranger Things:

The music. Oh my gosh, the music. The soundtrack from season one is often on repeat in my car. It's freaking beautiful.

Steve. Best freaking redemptive character arc I've ever seen in anything ever. He goes from being perfectly hate-able to someone I would die for in the span of two seasons, and just continues to get better.

Steve's hair. It's great.

It being the reason that we have the infamous "category five woman moment" post about Joyce Byers. I think about it all the time. One of my top five favorite phrases ever.

There are more things but I think I've talked about Stranger Things more than I talked about MAwS at this point, ironically. XD

Thank you both so much for the asks!! These were so fun!! :DDD 💙

[viscountessevie]

The Buccaneers (2023): American Poison

Hello everyone! I polled my blog's mutuals, friends and followers to see if they'd be interested in me doing reviews for this show and here are the results. Hence I'm here doing full episode reviews - feel free to follow along the tags below if you'd like to see my reviews and other posts for the show! [Spoilers are under the cut]

The Buccaneers Tag | Live Blogging Posts | Review Posts

~~~

The Buccaneers (2023) is an adaptation of Edith Wharton's posthumous novel of the same name, with a contemporary touch to it. Full disclaimer: I have not read the novel yet. I do intend to give it a shot after watching the tv series. Even though I am not a fan of unfinished works, it would be interesting to see how the source material was adapted to our day and age.

Since I am completely new to this story, I will be judging it solely on the tv series. I will also be judging it as a historical romance with a side of societal commentary (the latter of which I understand the original book was about). On this note, American Poison is a pretty great first episode. 

It set up our main characters; Nan, Conchita, Mabel, Lizzie and Jinny well while showcasing both America and the London season of the 1870s era. I found it so refreshing that the story started with a wedding instead of ending in one. It really goes to show that sometimes life really begins after the ‘I Do’. Or rather in the case of our girls, the problems begin to arise. 

Speaking of our character set ups, I really enjoyed watching Conchita the most as you can see in my Live Blogging tag. She is just such a dynamic and interesting character who is so full of life and yet goes through such a harrowing arc (from what I am assuming based on the first episode). Her fairytale ending isn't quite a happy ending. This makes for a really compelling conflict within her character and it is a delight to watch! Even moreso a mere five minutes into the first episode, we already have parallels to Meghan Duchess of Sussex and Prince Harry. I instantly knew that it will not bode well for Connie. I will give the showrunners credit where it is due, they drew the comparisons without hitting us over the head with it. As someone who royal watches H&M, I did like how Connie and Dickie's relationship was portrayed in the first half of the episode.

That brings me to the second half, as I said here, Dick definitely lived up to his nickname. It was heartbreaking to watch Connie be completely void of life after leaving America and moving in with her in-laws. Especially in her vulnerable pregnant state. I related a lot to her isolation and melancholy. It is not a fun place to be in. The way she lit up when her friends came to visit her was truly so heartwarming. Her happiness means everything to be and I hope her situation improves over the course of the series.

Moving onto our 'main' protagonist/narrator: Nan St. George. I will say it. She is a really boring main protagonist. I have no idea how she is like in the book but you can write a 'plain Jane' type character who engages your audience and they are allowed compelling arcs too. But no, Nan gets a love triangle. The most tired romantic trope of our type. Shondaland and other similar romance-drama shows have overused them to the point I want to throw the whole narrative device away!!

Speaking of said triangles, the only time I have enjoyed watching Nan on my screen is when she is with Guy Thwaite who is so charming. He is so likeable that I would certainly let him marry me for my money (jokes on him, me irl is broke as hell ahaha).

I know a few of my friends had complains about him using Nan for her money but I AM EATING IT UP! This is such a common romance trope. The fortune hunter targets the heroine and like the dumbass he is, he falls for her. That creates such a delicious point of conflict for both of them. The heroine has a brief moment of heartbreak because of the betrayal, while the hero has to fight between his head/the original scheme and heart. Truly one of my favourite premises in a HR book!

On the other end of the triangle, we have Theo, who is the dullest man I have ever seen on screen. Sorry to Theo fans but that man is so unoriginal and BORING. [Correction to my previous statement; Theo is tied with Obie from the Gossip Girl reboot as the most boring character ever].

I just found it so grating that he was just another Duke who is tired of the London social season and ambitious mamas & debs alike. Like YOU AREN'T special, Theo, there are a million heroes and actual lords back then who were like this. At least give the audience something interesting about you for us to root for. Sure, we can look to his artist side but this is least artsy man I have ever seen. Lord Cassidy from Mr. Malcolm's List and Benedict Bridgerton from Bton have done this before and much better. So Theo really is the definition of the Duke of Go Give Us Nothing to quote @imaginejolls in these tags.

Enough about the boring people; onto the Elmsworth sisters! So other than Alisha Boe and Josh Dylan as Connie & Dickie respectively, I was VERY excited to see Josie Totah as Mabel. Not only because I've watched Josie since her Disney days but also because SHE'S PLAYING A LESBIAN/WLW!! I just need more queer women in HR and this fulfils it!

There, unfortunately, wasn't enough of the Elmsworth sisters in this episode but I did love what I saw of Lizzy and Mabel so far. I adore Lizzy already - she is gorgeous and definitely deserves more attention on the marriage mart. Mabel is so cute and I am excited to see her romance blossom with Honoria!

Then there's Jinny. Where do I begin? I'll be very honest; I mistook her for Honoria in the trailer with Mabel 🤡 and was excited for her. I was like Yay dumb lesbian rep because come on the "I like her arms" comment to the art piece is so queer coded hahah. Then I saw a gifset of the trailer kiss and realised it was Honoria with Mabel. Anyway Jinny really is your cookie cutter deb and I wanted to see how she'd subvert that. And while I understand her frustrations with Nan getting in the way, that was no reason to completely upend her sister's life. I also saw the looks of contempt she gave Lizzy over the course of the episode. Like Virginia you grew up with that girl, could you be a little less competitive??

Overall, the pilot fulfilled its job. It introduced us to the main girls, set up their upcoming arcs all while painting the different cultures of the Americans who worked their way up to their riches vs the British centuries old aristocracy. I loved how it was shot, edited and the soundtrack was incorporated. Sure, at times there is a modern lens to it but I like how well our times and influences come together with Edith's original vision and storyline. I am excited for the rest of the series! Happy watching everyone and I will see you in my next review :D

[yukidragon]

First off, hello from the void. Second, do you have any wholesome headcanons for Alice and Jack? I crave some fluff and wholesomeness at the moment.

Hello, hello to you too friendo~! 💖

Hohoho, wholesome headcanons of my OTP you say? Why, you just said the magic words~! I think I can scrounge up a nice little warm and fuzzy headcanon or two... dozen.

Really, the only problem will be trying to stop me when I get rolling, if I’m being honest here. Then again, y’all are here to listen to me ramble, so who am I to hold back all the thoughts rattling around in my head? ;3

Ahem, before I begin, I want to say that there may or may not be spoilers for Sunshine in Hell in this post. While I will be keeping some plot points a secret until they’re revealed in writing, I’ve already given a lot of spoilers in past headcanon ramblings, including that I intend to give Jack and Alice a happy ending together. So this is a warning for those who really don’t like spoilers and might be a little chuffed that I already gave away the basic ending to my fic.

Also, I’m going to probably go into NSFW territory in this post. This game is for Adults Only after all and while I’ll be sticking to wholesome and fluffy headcanons, I just can’t help but throw in a bit of spice into this sweet vanilla goodness.

I’m going to  go ahead and plug the Snaccpop Studios patreon ahead of time, since I have a feeling I’m going to use some of Sauce’s lovely art in this post as I ramble on. Remember, don’t repost anything privately posted on patreon, folks. Let’s give Sauce and the Snaccpop Studios crew our support and credit whenever it’s due!

I also feel that I should remind everyone that these are my personal headcanons that I’m applying to my version of the story, so it may or may not totally align with what we’ve seen in either demo so far. I’m dumping extra vanilla sweetness into this horror yandere game and no one can stop me!

So, with all that out of the way, let’s dive into pure OTP indulgence.

Where to begin... I’m probably going to be bouncing all over the place here to wherever my impulses take me. Hmm... Well, let’s start with some warm and fuzzy tidbits from before Alice and Jack officially become a couple, shall we?

Alice has issues being touched by people she doesn’t trust, but she absolutely loves to cuddle those she is comfortable with. Although it does trouble her at first how comfortable she is with Jack right at the start, and she tries to keep her distance out of general common sense and stranger danger... it doesn’t take her long to crave (platonic) physical intimacy with Jack. You can see hints of it in the fic in fact when she reaches out for him first a number of times, holding his hands and even hugging him.

Alice’s love language is physical touch, so hugging, hand holding, and the like is her go-to way of showing affection and comfort to others, as well as receiving the same in return. Much like how Jack craves warmth and love from his sunshine, she has a similar craving. Thanks to the connection between them, she can feel how much he loves her, even if subconsciously, and it draws her to him.

Jack is honestly surprised at how readily Alice is about touching him and showing concern for him even on the first day. Of course he’s super happy about it! How could he not be? It just proves their bond is special, and, well, it really is.

Alice was drawn to Jack because they both have similar wounds. They long to be loved and accepted, not used and taken advantage of. It’s this resonance between them and Alice’s empathetic nature that compelled her to find the tape, and it’s how Jack’s soul could be freed in the first place.

In a way, you could say that these two are soulmates, and it was something they chose to be, even if romance wasn’t the first thing either of them were thinking when they made that connection.

The first time Jack saw Alice clearly was after they made the deal, and it was love at first sight. Because of the connection he could feel so much all at once when she set him free. It was overwhelming and so beautiful. He had never felt anything so wonderful before. How could he not fall in love with the person who made him feel that way?

While Alice does take longer to fall in love with Jack, she does care for him right away. He feels safe, even if she can’t understand why. She has a pretty good sense of whether or not to lower her guard around someone for the most part, but due to past experiences, including with Ian, she’s going to be cautious even when her instincts tell her that he’s not going to hurt her.

Fortunately, Jack is patient. He’s respectful of Alice’s boundaries. He’s fully aware that she’s not in love with him yet, which isn’t exactly pleasant, but he’s willing to wait for her. After all, he agreed to be literally unable to do anything she doesn’t want because he doesn’t want to do anything she doesn’t want him to do.

Yes, that limitation was something they both agreed to during their first encounter. Spoiler, but a huge part of their relationship strongly emphasizes consent, even if Jack is suffering from a lot of yandere impulses and trauma due to everything he’s been through.

This is also a two-way street. Alice can’t do anything Jack doesn’t want her to do. If he didn’t want her to touch him, she couldn’t even if she wanted it.

Fortunately they both want it. It won’t be long before the two of them are having cuddle time on the sofa watching TV. While making out isn’t going to happen for quite a while, there is going to be plenty of physical affection. Jack craves Alice’s touch, and Alice is reassured by touch, so she reaches out to him unthinkingly despite being overall a pretty shy person.

Of course, if someone else touches Alice and they’re not someone she has that sort of trust/familiarity/comfort with... that’s a whole lot of do not want. It’s a good thing Jack is very aware of anyone who gets close to her, and he’s going to help her escape such uncomfortable situations. Such methods range from warning her that someone is getting too close, gently nudging her away from them, or even using his supernatural nature when his power gets a bit stronger, and he can make these sort of people go away for her. With her consent of course~

So even before Alice and Jack get together, expect hand holding, hugs, and nose boops.

I mean, come on. How can Alice not boop this cute little button nose of his? Especially when Sauce draws it so adorably boopable like this. It’s painted like a target and everything. Sooner or later, Jack is getting booped.

Also, Alice is going to play with that magnificent mullet of his. His hair is way too fluffy and inviting not to, and his hair is as soft as it looks. Don’t worry, she’ll let Jack play with her hair too. Fair is fair after all~ He quite enjoys playing with her hair too. He thinks it’s like a cotton candy cloud.

Jack, being considerate, is doing his best to let Alice take the lead when it comes to how fast the relationship goes. Sure, he’s going to be pining for quite a while, and he’s going to need to work off that unwanted horny energy with some late night alone time, but it’s worth it to make sure that they’re both comfortable and happy.

This means Alice is going to be making the first moves for the most part in their relationship. Naturally, Jack is going to do his best to encourage her to make those steps, but gently. Of course there will be moments where he missteps due to fear and a bit of impatience, but for the most part Alice isn’t going to give Jack reasons to feel afraid that he’s losing her.

A bit of a spoiler, but their first kiss is going to be a little different than it plays out in the demo. It’s also going to have a very unconventional wingman... or wing-bunny should I say?

I really need to color this picture of Honey Bunny sometime. I also need to draw her again. And Alice. And Jack. And maybe the three of them in this scene I really need to write out...

Ahem, getting back on track...

Alice isn’t the type of person who kisses someone without it meaning something, so this really is when her relationship with Jack changes from friends to partners. I won’t spoil how Nick factors into things with their relationship upgrade, but I will say that I’m tweaking the timeline of events a bit to go with the slow burn.

Sex isn’t going to come immediately after they get together. As much as Jack would love that, and despite how things progress quickly in the vampire AU, Alice needs to take it slow. Their physical intimacy is going to be a gradual increase before they go all the way (well, gradual except for one moment that I won’t spoil). Sadly, she has some issues and trauma when it comes to sex.

Fortunately, Jack is okay with taking things slowly on that front, even if his libido is really high. While sex would be a huge source of reassurance for him, and a strong physical connection between them, Alice makes up for it by reassuring him in other ways. It’s how he was able to hold back and let her take the lead in the relationship for so long. She’s considerate and affectionate, and cuddling her feels so warm that he can just be satisfied with that, even if his thoughts and feelings get overly excited sometimes.

It is going to make things a bit more of a challenge for Jack. One minute he and Alice are kissing, getting hot and heavy, then that excitement makes things hard to for him to hold himself down. It’s going to be quite embarrassing for both of them~

Not that Jack didn’t get awkward boners before they got together, but he was able to hide it better when Alice wasn’t splayed on top of him with their bodies grinding together hot and heavy.

Jack leans towards dominant, and Alice leans towards submissive. That doesn’t mean that she’s going to just let him take all control. While a dom takes charge, it’s the sub that outlines the hard limits to things. A good partner checks in with the other, and Alice really appreciates that Jack makes sure she’s okay with things.

More than that, Jack makes sure Alice isn’t just doing things to please him or because she’s scared that she’s going to lose him and pressure herself to go too far past her comfort zone. It would be so easy for him to give in to his yandere urges and lust to just go further than she’s ready to satisfy his own desires, but he won’t do anything she doesn’t wholeheartedly want. He loves her too much to risk hurting her.

Likewise, Alice won’t push Jack into crossing lines that are too much for him. His past is going to cause trauma triggers. While she wants to learn more and knows it’s probably important that they do, much like how Jack is patient when it comes to Alice opening her heart to love and physical intimacy, she’s going to be patient with him opening up about the parts of him that he’s tried to bury even from himself.

Alice is going to help Jack come to terms with his past and broaden his world. It won’t be just her he can interact with. She helps him make friends with Shaun. She’s going to introduce him to her family, even if indirectly. She’s going to help him feel more human despite everything that’s happened to him.

Of course, their relationship isn’t going to exactly be normal due to Jack being a ghost(?) That doesn’t mean Alice won’t go out of her way to help her boyfriend feel special, like dressing up for date nights, even if they’re not going to leave the apartment.

Yet another picture I need to color and/or redraw. Really, I need to draw Jack’s reaction to Alice all dolled up like this. From hoodies to fishnet stockings - Jack is in for a treat.

Oh, and speaking of treats, Alice is the type of girl to give her partner flowers, no matter their orientation. Sadly, Jack isn’t going to make it easy for her to surprise him with his favorite flowers since he likes all sorts of flowers and doesn’t have a favorite. Still, that doesn’t mean she can’t give him her favorites - blue roses are very meaningful to her, and she finds them to be very fitting to give to her blue beaux.

Needless to say, Jack is quite stunned the first time Alice surprises him with a bouquet of flowers. It was the first time anyone ever gave him flowers (that he’s aware of. He wasn’t exactly in any state to see the funeral flowers gifted in his memory, sadly.)

It’s quite the shock for a guy like him to be given flowers. Jack is from the 80s, when things were a lot less progressive than they are now. Even in the modern era it’s rare for guys to get flowers, and even rarer for a girl to gift a guy flowers instead of expecting the other way around.

Overall, Jack is pretty floored by how much effort Alice puts into their first date. It really makes things feel real between them. He feels more real as a result. It touches him deeply that she wants him to feel just as special as he makes her feel all the time.

Of course, Jack puts effort into making their dates special as well. It’s only fair that he dresses up too. Gifts are a bit trickier, but something tells me that he’ll figure out a way to surprise her with a thoughtful gift or two.

The pair have a tendency to want to spoil each other. Jack helps encourage Alice to care about herself more, and she does the same for him. They both easily get caught up in feeling like they need to do more, give more, and focus on themselves less. Because of this, they soon learn how to catch the other when they’re giving too much. It’s all about healthy moderation after all.

Jack encourages Alice to leave the house more and do more things. While crowded places make things a bit more difficult to be affectionate like normal couples, after a while they learn how to work around Jack’s situation. It’s a lot easier for him to snuggle up with Alice when he’s free to initiate the touches while she just has to pretend nothing is happening.

Of course, this does lead to a plethora of spicy possibilities. Alice doesn’t want to have to worry about other people when getting intimate, while Jack is quite the shameless exhibitionist at times. Again, it’s all about balance... and making sure that no one catches them doing some questionable things in public spaces.

While it might take a bit to get there, Alice and Jack are going to eventually make love. Once that happens, hoooo... Jack is going to have a lot of fun encouraging his sunshine to make it a daily occurrence. With his high libido and how attentive he is to her needs, Alice soon finds herself craving sex with him far more than she could have ever expected.

Jack isn’t satisfied with making Alice cum only once every time they make love. He’s addicted to seeing her pleasured expressions, watching her writhe under his touch, and screaming his name. He wants to make her just as addicted to him as he is to her.

Of course, Alice wants to make sure to return the favor. It’s only fair after all~

While Jack is more verbal with his praise, Alice struggles with her words a lot. She shows her affection through touch and action more often. Sometimes this comes in the form of drawing hearts on his body, including while she’s showing her love for him in other ways, as shown in this writing blurb I posted not too long ago.

Speaking of drawing, Alice is an artist. She’s going to draw Jack. She’s also going to draw on him with more than just her finger. Body paints can be quite fun to play with, especially if they’re edible. Once she’s more comfortable with their sexual intimacy, she might get creative enough to, say, draw some stripes in creative places~

Here’s a spicy example of what sort of fun Alice could have painting on Jack. This lovely NSFW picture was drawn by my friend @okamiliqueur, and the idea of those primary colored stripes on Jack’s excitement was inspired by my other friend @lazybearzlol2.

Of course, Alice is sure to draw other things in other places. She’s quite the creative artist and Jack provides her with a beautiful canvas to paint on. He is also quite the muse. His praise for her work certainly encourages her to draw on him even more.

Oh, but don’t worry, Jack is going to make sure to make sure to return the favor by paying extra close attention to her body as well.

Sadly, Alice doesn’t believe that she’s attractive, but Jack just can’t let her keep believing that lie, can he? What kind of friend and partner would he be if he didn’t show her just how beautiful and special she is in his eyes? This leads to a lot of moments where he reassures her and shows her just how beautiful she is, both inside and out.

Of course, Jack helps Alice with her self-esteem before they get together, and even before they get intimate. However, once she’s given him permission to touch her body as much as he likes, that gives him more opportunities to help her see how wonderful every inch of her is. It’s a bit of a teaching moment, where he encourages her to look in the mirror and say something she likes about herself. It’s a lot of fun for both of them when he uses his hands to focus her attention on certain parts of her body in particular, like in this very smutty picture I drew a while back.

Sadly, tumblr won’t allow for the full thing here, but you can hop on over to my twitter to check it out if you haven’t already.

It’s hard for Alice not to appreciate a part of any part of her body that Jack can make feel so good with his touches and kisses. Her weight is no problem for him; he can easily lift her and support her without worries that she’s going to accidentally hurt him. His strength and resilience helps her feel a little more confident with her size, and it’s impossible not to feel beautiful when he goes out of his way to make sure she can feel just how much he loves every inch of her.

You know, I’ve realized I’m focusing less on the wholesome part of the fluff and spent more time in the spicy part of fluff. Oops? Well, let’s jump to a couple more safe for work headcanons before we wrap things up.

Alice likes to bake desserts. It’s going to be a fun activity she and Jack do together sometimes. Sometimes they divide the cooking for meals - he takes care of the main course and she makes them dessert. Often times Jack wants to add Alice’s flavor to any dish she’s made though and not just with yogurt.

...I’m getting back into spice again. It’s hard not to when Jack is a horny, horny man, and he is going to encourage Alice to enjoy sex more.

Okay, okay... let’s try to rattle off a few more SFW and wholesome fluffy headcanons rapid fire.

Alice loves good puns, especially if they’re cleverly delivered. She also knows that a good pun is made even funnier when someone acts like they are the worst thing in the world imaginable and a betrayal of language. This leads to the two of them having playful banter at times that eventually leaves them both in a fitful heap of giggles.

Jack does wonders in helping Alice relax more and be more playful. He helps her act silly hamming it up as a yogurt god, starting a pillow fight, or even playing a “childish” game or two. Jack certainly would enjoy a good game of tag or hide-ahd-seek, especially if they put a bit of spice to it...

...No, nope, stick to SFW. Stick to SFW.

Though I will say that Jack’s fantasy from chapter 6 of chasing Alice around is going to happen eventually. Don’t worry, it’s going to be just as much fun as he imagined~

Anyway, back to SFW stuff they do together... Movie nights. They both love films and TV shows, and Jack has a lot of stuff to catch up on. Alice finds it so much fun watching him react to some of her favorite movies. There’s so much stuff that’s new to him, and it’s so much fun to show him new things. It makes her feel almost like she’s experiencing it again for the first time as well. Even before they get together, a lot of evenings are spent with the two of them cuddled up on the couch watching TV and sometimes making commentary. Even bad movies are fun when they crack jokes together.

Even watching movies in theaters can be pretty fun together. The best part is they only have to buy one ticket. If they sit in the back, no one will even notice Jack taking advantage of the dark room to indulge in his exhibitionist kink.

Aaaaaand we’re back to NSFW headcanons. I blame Jack for that. He really is going to take every opportunity he can to make love to Alice, and she certainly isn’t going to complain. He makes her feel so desirable, precious, and irreplaceable in a way that she never felt before with anyone.

Perhaps it might be safe to say that Jack’s primary love language isn’t acts of service or words of affirmation, but physical touch as well. Either that or it’s just because he’s incredibly pent up after 40 years of being trapped in hell, and it’s going to take him a while to level out, if he ever does. Either way, he’ll certainly show Alice a lot of love~!

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur  

[resumeresonance]

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[korineedsanap]

I would love to see compelling evidence for why someone doesn’t like a famous person that doesn’t sum up to man and woman had a messy divorce  because I know this may come as a shock, but misogyny of a industry large does not equate to misogyny the of an individual  because yeah, messy divorces are messy  especially when a catalyst of said, messy divorce seems to be  person a being rightfully upset at being seen as less of an individual and more of a attachment to the other, especially when the other at the time of the divorce had been flung into  a not in considerable amount of fame  but people not being able to maintain a relationship and then on top of that cope with a dynamic shift, especially when fame is involved  which makes your lives way more public and way more susceptible to public misogyny. All of that does not make someone a bad person. 

I don’t know I could be completely off based  but like I think, if someone is bad in any reasonable sense, I think they would have to be actively hurting someone in anyway shape or form  I don’t think having a messy break up makes someone bad I mean it can momentarily, but I don’t think it’s grounds for long-term badness. I don’t think there is such thing as long-term badness. I think if that situation has been resolved a reasonable amount of apologies or action has been taken in regards to the situation. That’s all I really care people as a concept are too ever-changing don’t give me wrong. There are some truly vile people in the world. But being mad at a famous person for having a messy break up that all things considered has been kept pretty private doesn’t feel like strong enough evidence to call someone bad.  I don’t know I saw some thing and it kind of pissed me off and I just need to get it out of my system because they were actual people who are actually terrible who deserve to be shunned because despite the regular. Hey maybe don’t do that you are hurting people by doing the thing you’re doing and then continuing to do the thing that is a bad person, but heating people because you want to hate people doesn’t feel good? Or at least if you dislike people for no solid reason.  maybe don’t post that on the Internet I once had a friend who told me that she didn’t like Ryan Reynolds, and that she thought he was a bad person because she just got a bad vibe from him which is not a reason not to like someone and manufacturing reasons to justify your distaste of a person kind of sucks like if you don’t like them that’s valid don’t like them but if you don’t have solid evidence for disliking them, that’s OK but that doesn’t mean you get to make other people dislike them to intuition is not always correct it’s possible they just remind you of someone for purely superficial reasons that you don’t like that you actually have reasons to dislike, don’t take that out on the person you don’t actually know. Famous people are a weird breed that we are required to have para social relationships with so like fundamentally they’re going to suck because they have the misfortune of some of their basic privacy is being taken away from them and that can make anyone a little shitty that does not excuse bad behavior, but that does mean if someone’s trying to have a private messy break up  this does not give you the right to use it as cannon fodder for you say they’re bad and you should all agree with me because it’s a dick move to put somebody on a pedestal only to throw tomatoes at them know if they were put on that pedestal and then start throwing tomatoes at onlookers then they’re rude. They’re using their platform to do a harm you see how that’s different these two people are not the same

OK venting done. I feel better now thank you void for letting me scream into you. 

[makeste]

“but I thought about how I needed to say this”

a.k.a. yet another meta dissection of The Apology. I actually wrote most of this up on Friday night based on the original Japanese (@pikahlua​ has an excellent translation up here, and I also used @hanashimas’ translations as a reference as well), but I wanted to wait until the official release, though that turned out to be a mixed bag to say the least lol.

I would also recommend reading @pikahlua​ and @class1akids​’ breakdowns of this scene (here and here, respectively), because they are excellent, and because if any scene deserves to have as many meta breakdowns written about it as possible, it’s this one.

anyway so here goes.

Caleb did a more accurate job with this than the fanscan, even if he did try his best to take us out of the seriousness of the moment by throwing in that swiss cheese line lol. anyway so there are two things I want to talk about here. the first is the line about Izuku not remembering, which I thought was a nice touch. of course he doesn’t remember what Kacchan said back then. he wasn’t exactly in the soundest emotional state after seeing one of the people he cares about most taking a near-fatal blow that was meant for him. I’d be shocked if he remembers anything about the aftermath (including the way he flew into a mindless rage afterwards) right up until the point when he entered the OFA Interstellar Party Void with Tomura. anyway, so I thought that was a nice callback.

and speaking of emotional states, the other thing I wanted to talk about is the part that Caleb got right which the fan scanlation didn’t. “but I had more to say.” in other words, “stop trying to win on your own” wasn’t just a one-liner; it was meant to be the beginning of a much longer speech. “there were other things that I needed to say.”

like, can we just stop and talk about that for a second. because basically what this means is that in that instant, when Kacchan pushed Deku out of the way and got impaled, his one and only thought was that he needed to apologize to Deku. his life was presumably flashing before his eyes, he had no idea if he was going to survive or not, and the only thing on his mind was how urgently he needed to make things right with his former childhood friend.

moving on!

so I have a confession to make, which is that I am relieved to see Katsuki describing this as the reason why he bullied Deku, as opposed to Horikoshi trying to retcon it into some sort of “secretly he was just trying to protect him and keep him out of harm’s way because he was worried” thing, which ngl would not have gelled very well with me. the thing is that I’m really not a fan of the whole “Kacchan Did Nothing Wrong” mentality that some fans seem to have. like, I have seen all sorts of convoluted attempts to find excuses for Katsuki’s shitty behavior, but in my view those attempts undermine what I love about his character in the first place. Katsuki is such a great character specifically because he is not perfect. his redemption arc is so compelling because he was such a giant asshole at the start. he was completely at fault, and he acknowledges this, and takes full responsibility for it. and that is fucking fantastic.

his arc is so great because it doesn’t rely on garnering sympathy by giving him a Tragic Past, or by trying to foist the blame for his behavior over on someone else. it’s an arc that acknowledges that redemption isn’t something you achieve by making people feel sorry for you; it’s something you have to earn by actively working to change and do better. and by forgoing the “misunderstood/tragic past” route, Horikoshi is making a statement that anyone can go down the wrong path, but that more importantly, anyone can also choose at any time to turn away from said path. there is only one requirement for doing so, and that is realizing that you’ve done wrong, and deciding that you want to change.

anyway, so in chapter 284 Kacchan of course had that whole speech about Deku not taking himself into account, and mentioned how that made him want to keep his distance. and a good chunk of fandom took this to mean that Katsuki’s bullying was actually a misguided response to Deku’s reckless tendencies -- sort of an “if I show him how weak and powerless he really is, I can get him to accept the reality that he’s quirkless, and that being a hero will just get him hurt or killed” type of thing. and I won’t lie, for a good while I was wondering myself if Horikoshi was really going to go down that route. and like I said, I am honestly relieved that he didn’t. not only for the reasons stated in the previous paragraph, but also because the message that would have sent -- that there are certain circumstances in which bullying can almost be excused because the bully had Good Intentions and was just trying to save the other person from themselves, and so it Wasn’t That Bad, Actually -- is all kinds of fucked up to say the least. so yeah, I’m glad we ended up steering well clear of that.

(ETA: this post was long enough already so I edited out the 3 additional paragraphs I originally wrote analyzing the dialogue from 284. but just to be clear, I’m not trying to imply that Kacchan worrying about Deku’s recklessness is a retconned thing that Horikoshi only threw into the story recently, because there are multiple instances throughout the story where he clearly is worried and in total denial of it. but I firmly believe those feelings are not what led to the bullying. they’re two separate things. Kacchan worrying about Deku is what prompts him to yell at him in chapter 1 when Deku comes to save him. but it’s not what incited him to burn his notebook and taunt him earlier in that same chapter. that action had a much meaner and more selfish motivation behind it, and I’m glad Horikoshi didn’t try to change it up last minute, because it wouldn’t have felt right.)

thankfully as of this chapter I think we can safely cross that out as a possibility, as we’re given the true explanation straight from Katsuki himself. and the truth is that he bullied Deku out of insecurity and jealousy and fear and intolerance. there was nothing noble about it. there were no good intentions concealed in his actions. there are no justifications given, no excuses offered, and no mitigating circumstances to be considered, other than the fact (which neither he nor Horikoshi bring up) that he was and is still a child, and that children make mistakes.

it’s an explanation that challenges many of fandom’s ideas on who is and isn’t eligible to be redeemed. there is no Ozai in Katsuki’s backstory. there’s no great tragedy that he spent a lifetime trying to rise above. the only villain in Katsuki’s story is Katsuki himself. the only darkness that he has to overcome is his own. and it’s challenging, because I think many people believe the only way someone can be redeemed for doing bad things is if bad things happen to them in return. but what Horikoshi is saying here is that that’s not the case. bad doesn’t erase bad. and the one and only way to truly earn redemption is by doing good.

and that’s what makes this such a phenomenal scene for me. by not shying away from Katsuki’s flaws and failings, and having him take full responsibility for them, Horikoshi keeps the apology from being self-serving, and underscores the true depth of Katsuki’s character development. the level of self-awareness he has here is something most people can only dream of. which is very fitting, as that’s perhaps the most important takeaway from his character arc -- that it’s only by acknowledging your own weaknesses and flaws that you can learn to overcome them and reach your full potential.

one last thing to point out here, which is that in the panel where Katsuki finally acknowledges his terrible treatment of Deku, Deku is not even visible. instead, Horikoshi drew the panel from a perspective that makes it appear that Katsuki is addressing this particular line not just to Deku, but to all of his classmates.

again, he shows him taking full responsibility and admitting his wrongdoings in front of the people whose opinions and approval he cares about most. and just to clarify in case there’s any confusion from Caleb’s translation, Kacchan’s wording makes it very clear that he wasn’t just “mean” to Deku, but that he full-on bullied him (he uses the same verb -- “ijimeru” (苛める) -- that he did back in chapter 284). there’s no attempt to downplay his actions here.

moving on now, this chapter also reaffirmed another thing about Deku and Kacchan’s relationship which I was glad to see revisited -- Kacchan’s unwavering belief in Deku’s ability. this is one of those paradoxical things about their relationship which I’ve always been fascinated by, but which is also kind of hard to explain, because I don’t want it to come off like I’m trying to put a positive spin on something which was unequivocally awful. like, please don’t think I’m trying to say that Katsuki’s bullying of Deku was in any way a good thing. but that being said, there’s also a strange irony at play here, which is that Katsuki’s jealousy and insecurity also betray the fact that even at his very worst, he never once underestimated Deku. he has always believed in Deku’s strength, even when that strength pissed him off and made him afraid and uneasy.

no one else -- not All Might, or even Deku’s own mom -- believed from the get-go that Deku could become a hero. but Katsuki never once counted him out, even when he was calling him a pebble in his shoe. he confesses here that even though he “tried to act superior by rejecting [Deku]”, in truth he was never able to shake the feeling that Deku was above him. long before he ever understood the concept of “win to save”, he knew instinctively that there was a strength in Deku’s heart that couldn’t be measured, and which had the potential to surpass even his own strength. and I’ve always felt that this was so important, because it’s the one aspect of their early relationship that hinted that on some level, however subconscious, Katsuki held the same type of faith in Deku that Deku always held in him. it was one of the few things that hinted at there being a possible path towards reconciliation one day. and it paved the way for the most important shift in their relationship to date, when Katsuki finally realized who Deku got his quirk from, and responded not with resentment or spite, but with acceptance.

moving on, I also really love the way we see them portrayed at the different stages of their childhood throughout this speech, and how it perfectly lines up with the dialogue. from small children (when Katsuki talks about his insecurities first manifesting), to middle schoolers (when he talks about the bullying), to high schoolers (when he talks about the past year and everything he’s learned at U.A.). Horikoshi really didn’t have to go that hard, but he did, and that’s why we love him.

and then we finally get to That Part.

where do I even start with this there are so many things omg.

the bow. this is the one and only time Katsuki has ever bowed to anyone of his own volition as far as I recall. and this absolutely is a bow, just to be clear, even though his form is straight-up garbage (very Kacchan-esque, with his feet and arms spaced apart because he’s still a punk after all). this is Kacchan showing more humility and respect than he’s ever shown to anyone else in his entire life.

regarding “Izuku”, I actually have mixed feelings about this to tell the truth. I think it was a good call here because it was incredibly effective in setting the tone and showing just how serious Kacchan is. however if he continues to use “Izuku” rather than “Deku” from here on out, that would give the impression in hindsight that all his past usage of “Deku” really was meant as an insult, which would undermine some of my favorite scenes. I would really like to believe that since DvK2 or thereabouts, Kacchan has (mostly) been using “Deku (affectionate)” rather than “Deku (useless loser)”, lol. but if he switches to the “nicer” name on a permanent basis following his apology, it implies that the previous nickname was indeed being used cruelly. and so honestly I hope this was just a one-time thing, because I do think that in Katsuki’s mind, the name “Deku” hasn’t been meant as a slight to him for a long time now.

“my truth/this is what I truly feel” -- the word Katsuki uses in Japanese is honne (本音), and if you’re familiar with the concept of honne/tatemae, that’s the same “honne” he’s talking about here. it means that he’s casting aside all of his walls and facades and expressing what he truly feels. and of course, one of the fascinating things about Katsuki’s character is that he’s the exact opposite of most people in that he chooses to put his meanness on full display to the public, and ironically it’s the kindest parts of himself which he tends to keep the most carefully guarded and hidden away. this also means that while his rage and anger are very often insincere and put on just for show, those relatively few occasions where he lets his humanity truly shine through are pretty much 100% genuine, as is the case with this one here.

and Deku’s face says it all when it comes to how powerful those moments can be as a result.

and this, right here, is why it wasn’t enough for Katsuki to atone solely through his actions, and why he needed to actually say the words as well. it’s not that the words are more important; obviously the actions are far and away the most important part, and carry far more meaning. but the reason why Katsuki needed to say the words as well is simply because Izuku needed to hear them. needed to, and deserved to, because this is one of the most important people in the world to him.

and so he deserves to know that the relationship isn’t just one-sided, and that he is just as important to Kacchan as Kacchan is to him. he deserves to know that Kacchan understands how horribly he treated him, and that he’s sorry for it. and he deserves to know that Kacchan, without any expectation of it changing their relationship -- meaning that he will continue to feel this way regardless of what Izuku says or does from here on out -- cares about him. now more than ever, with AFO out there doing everything in his power to make Izuku feel as alone as possible, this is something that he really, really needed to hear.

so this part has some interesting wordplay which neither Caleb’s translation nor the fan scanlation was really able to get across. basically, in the Japanese version, when Katsuki talks about “those ideals”, Horikoshi uses the kanji for “ideal”, but pronounces it as “All Might.” obviously the meaning of this isn’t too hard to decipher, as we all know how much both boys admire All Might. to them, he absolutely is synonymous with the Ideal. so this is a way of showing that respect they both have towards him, even as Katsuki goes on to point out the one fatal flaw that All Might was never able to overcome.

and speaking of interesting wording, as others have noted, at this point in his speech Katsuki switches from “temee” (which he was using earlier during the “your strengths and my weaknesses” part) to “omae” (“omae” being a less insulting word for “you”, though still very manly and tough-sounding), which is definitely a big deal. though fwiw this is not the first time he’s used “omae” for Deku (he switches to it briefly right after DvK2, when he tells Deku “you had the strongest guy lay the groundwork for you -- don’t lose”, and then later when they’re walking back to the dorms and he says he’ll learn and get stronger by watching everyone around him just like Deku did). it’s definitely a good choice on Horikoshi’s part though, as it makes this last part of the speech sound more earnest and sincere.

just a quick note, he does indeed use a plural pronoun here, as in “the obstacles that you can’t overcome, we will overcome.” but as @pikahlua​ pointed out, the “we” here is ambiguous -- it could either mean “we” as in class 1-A -- “we will overcome them for you” -- OR it could mean “we” as in all of them -- class 1-A and Deku. “we will overcome them together.” idk about you, but I know which one gets my vote.

anyway, and so this is the line that finally wins Deku over and allows him to let go of his fears, however briefly. what I love about this is Kacchan’s utter conviction. one thing that Caleb’s translation doesn’t quite get across is Kacchan’s use of the word morenaku -- “without exception” -- when he talks about how they’re going to save everyone and win. it echoes that same sentiment he showed back during the Joint Training arc -- that it’s not a perfect victory unless they save everyone. every last person. and he explicitly lists Deku among their number, just so there can be no doubt.

and Deku’s response to this (or at least his thoughts, since he’s not really able to get many words out) pretty much brings everything full circle here.

he acknowledges that everyone else has gotten ahead of him. which is especially meaningful given who he’s standing directly across from. because for most of the series, as we all well know, it’s been Kacchan who was woefully lagging behind Deku in the character growth department. but now Deku himself is acknowledging that not only has Kacchan finally caught up at last, but that he and the others have surpassed him. which is only temporary, I should add, as I have zero doubt that Deku will catch up again soon. but the fact remains that just as Deku’s rapid increase in strength and skill left Kacchan scrambling to keep up earlier in the series, Kacchan’s extraordinary character development has now left Deku in that same position. as All Might once put it, “when he’s starting at level one, and you’re already at level 50, it’s only natural that you’ll be growing at different rates.”

and what’s so wonderful about this though is that the two of them are finally approaching that point where they’ve both caught up to each other and are finally starting to level out. Deku is a full-on badass, and Kacchan is out here talk-no-jutsuing with the best of them. the two of them have been chasing and chasing after each other this entire time, and now they’re finally just about ready to meet in the middle at long last, with each of them fully embodying both of those two crucial aspects -- win, and save.

just about. because Deku still needs some help catching up. but seeing as help has already been offered -- and accepted -- I can’t imagine it will be very long now, and I can’t wait to see him finally overcoming those fears and doubts with his friends by his side. it’s going to be such a powerful moment.

and last but not least,

or, as I prefer,

you had one job, Caleb. flkjsdlk.

but at least this provides a good opportunity to note that unlike the “we’ll help you handle it” line earlier in the speech, here the phrasing is left up to interpretation, as he doesn’t use a pronoun. so it could be “we know”, or, as the fan scanlation put it, “I know.” or it could be both. regardless, it’s good stuff.

anyway, and so Deku passes out, and in the process Horikoshi gives us one last parting metaphor, just in case anyone still thinks Kacchan is all talk because they haven’t been paying attention for the past 322 chapters (more likely than you think). once again, Katsuki’s actions speak louder than his words (even his nice words) ever could: he is literally there to catch Deku when he falls.

so that’s it! my sincere thanks to anyone who actually read through all of my endless ramblings about this scene which I have been waiting for since day one. props to Horikoshi for taking on an impossibly difficult task, and pulling it off with all of the emotion and care and nuance that I’ve come to expect from his writing. imo he delivered on every single level with the exception of the aftermath, which I don’t consider to have actually happened yet. Deku’s part of this is definitely a “to be continued.” but yeah, as far as Kacchan’s part goes, 10/10. so fucking proud of this kid.

[elsecrytt]

OMG !!! Your Satan and Solomon sandwich post is amazing , 10/10 I love their dynamic!! Thank you for sharing and take care sunshine!!!

anon,,, thamk u.... for ur kind words,, very much heartening, i appreciate, it was very much spur of the moment rambling and i was kinda just happy to throw it out there in the void for some few folks to like. i didn't expect to get any encouragement about it. one of the things i really obsess over in character writing is chemistry and how fun it is to read about character interactions - i feel like that's what really makes a bond between characters, and the characters themselves, compelling. hearing that it worked out in this little instance is very gratifying :D you take care too buddy <3

[realityhelixcreates]

Lasabrjotr Chapter 81: Occultus

Chapters: 81/?

Fandom: Thor (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe

Rating: pg13

Relationships: Loki x Reader

Characters: Loki (Marvel),

Additional Tags: Post-Endgame: Best Possible Ending (Canon-Divergent), Party Time, And Now For A Detour

Summary:   Some secrets revealed, some questions answered.

Beyond Iceland. Beyond Earth. Beyond the Solar System and the Sagittarius Arm.

Beyond the Milky Way, and beyond Yggdrasil. Beyond the Virgo Supercluster. Beyond the Boötes Void, and all the quasars. Beyond the edge of the observable universe.

There were three giant women.

That is how they appeared to you at least. Something in you knew that they were something else, something far beyond your ability to perceive, let alone comprehend. Something greater than you could possibly imagine. So instead, they seemed like huge, cowled women, working together to weave a great tapestry. It was practically unending, yet somehow still fit on the loom, each thread a life, a place, an event. The finished cloth was all of time, all of space. It sparkled with stars and galaxies, like intricate beading, and the loom weights were raw, glowing gemstones, like you thought you'd seen in a dream once before. A handful of them were missing. They wanted you to know something. Something that had come before. The oldest one unrolled the finished cloth for you to see. You looked in, and fell away. Time was an unknown concept to Ymir. They did not understand or measure it. They did not see nor feel it. Truly immortal, and completely alone, they noticed change on unimaginable timescales, but thought nothing of it, save to admire the beauty that came into being, and flared out, again and again. They did not know how or when they came into being. The weave informed you this was before Earth, before Asgard, before the galaxies you knew and understood. The weave knew when Ymir had started, but it did not show you.

Ymir only knew that they lived, and that change happened, and that it was beautiful. Once, all had been dark. The heat of a singularity met the cold of nothingness, and Ymir was. They had drifted for a long time, between tiny lights, through glowing dust. They collected the tiny lights along the way, multicolored pinpoints, pressed into fingertips, bringing thought, solidity, movement, selfhood, the realization of cycles, and the will to act.

You saw the eons pass, as they slowly realized their sense of self, their name, and their possibilities. They drifted alone for all that time, until captured by one of the great lights that had grown up all around them. Then began their long period of admiring the growing star, learning what warmth was, and, in it's light, coming to understand what they looked like, and adjusting that as they saw fit.

They did not know how their presence effected the development of the star system. Their gargantuan mass allowed for only a single, rocky planet to form, close in to the star, constantly disrupting the rock, gas, and ice that orbited further out. Planetoids and comets often crashed into them, the resulting debris careening around the system, creating massive meteor swarms that rained fire and ice down upon the singular planet. Eventually, they noticed that the little round rock had changed, showing patches of blue and green. It was a lovely neighbor, and they enjoyed looking at it. Occasionally, their presence still caused fiery crashes and cosmic explosions to occur on the planet, but the damage always seemed to rebound, and left the little world even more beautiful for its scars.

The beauty of it compelled them. They wanted something. They wanted to create. First, they tried grabbing two asteroids and pressing them together. But upon letting go, the asteroids just drifted apart. Then they tried throwing one at another. When they collided, it caused chunks to fly free, spinning in all directions. They noticed the fresh surfaces had a glint that they liked, and snatched one up to look at it closer.

Breaking asteroids to see what was inside became something of a little game. Some had tiny green crystals, some had metal, some had ice, and smooth, glassy surfaces. Eventually, they noticed that sometimes, when they dragged their fingers over the surface of a chunk of rock, streaks of color were left behind. The points of light embedded in their fingertips imbued the cosmic stones with hue and light. Once they started thinking about it, every time they tried, their fingers traced glowing color behind them. Soon, the asteroid field around them was littered with pictograms, whatever shapes and designs they could come up with, glowing in a rainbow of colors. They set the drawings into orbit, delighting in how the art would parade before them, as the rocks raced around the star. Occasionally, one of the artworks would fall to the planet, where Ymir presumed it lost forever, so they drew more and more, their work becoming more complex and refined. One of their favorites, one with many shapes vaguely like their own fell to the planet, causing Ymir to try to make it again. For the first time, the colossal being had to reach into their memory to recreate something that had come before. For the first time, they were faced with the concept of the Past. With that, came an idea of the Now, and the Will-Be. They were strange ideas But Ymir realized that these ideas had always been, that always and forever those three things existed all at once. They realized that they could use these things in their creations. And so, using all their colors, they drew the shapes they liked. Cylinders, triangles, ovals, and cones, with arms and legs, eyes and mouths, whimsical patterns in all shapes and sizes. Set them to dancing with the power in their fingers, sent them spinning though space. When these fell to the planet, Ymir watched closely, and saw that under the clouds, all of their old fallen drawings were there: sprouting from the rocks, blanketing the land. Darting here and there through the air and in the water. So too, did their favorite shapes begin to wander, spreading over the little world, and they were pleased to see this. They watched in delight as the eons passed, and the planet changed and blossomed with ever new shapes and colors. Their favorite shapes worked and formed the land, building and creating, just as they had. Cities went up and came down, different each time, but with a kernel of the last in each new form.

Fighting occurred between the shapes, and peace as well, over and over, until the whole planet united in partnership. Through it all, Ymir's great presence still perturbed the orbits of other celestial bodies, causing icy comets and stony artworks alike to rain down on the ever-changing world. Each time, destruction ruled for a time, but always did the beloved shapes overcome and thrive, rebuilding higher and greater each time. Ymir saw, with great wonder, when sleek artworks built by the shapes began to leave the planet. In a reflection of their own origins, the shapes returned to the vacuum from whence they once came.

It didn't always work well. Many of the streamlined artworks were destroyed on their voyages. But the shapes tried, again and again, refining their artworks, until they performed perfectly each time. The world had been changing in the meantime, this time in a direction Ymir had not yet seen. The white clouds had gone gray and thick, the blue seas had a brownish tint. Volcanoes glowed orange, more than they had ever seen. It had started after a particularly large swarm of meteors had struck the planet. The shapes had rebuilt, as they always did, but this time, the change continued on in this new direction.

New artworks began to leave the planet in droves, great hordes, thousands strong. Ymir watched them as they gathered, admiring their shapes and shine. Curiously, the great shoal began making it's way across the star system, closer and closer. They were covered in colored lights. Ymir reached out and grasped one, wishing to see it closer, to pick out the ultra-fine details. Unfortunately, tragically, the artwork crumpled under their fingers, igniting in a pathetic, fiery implosion. A terrible shame. Ymir had no idea the artworks were so fragile. But they numbered in the thousands, like their own artworks, and many yet survived. The artworks were acting curiously now, arranging themselves in precise clusters and rows. Their glowing lights brightened, blinked, flared. Beautiful. The many small artworks were making a vast artwork out of themselves. How clever. It filled Ymir with inspiration. They reached for a nearby asteroid. The lights burst into beams and pulses, so bright they blinded the vast being, just before slicing into their alien flesh. Beams swept across their entire body, separating them at every joint, sending each part careening forever through space. As millennia passed, these parts would crash into stars, fall into black holes, aggregate gas, ice, and dust, creating planets around them. Their head, the size of a moon, would become the hub of a mining colony, the harvested parts some of the rarest and most valuable in the universe. And so, the creations of Ymir continued.                                                                         ****** Their world was dying. It had long been known that fire rained from the sky every few thousand years, sent by the Great Star to cleanse the world. The civilizations that came before were imperfect, and so the survivors built again, better, more precise every time. But this time was different. This time, the destruction didn't end. After the last Fire Fall, the world began to tear itself asunder. Molten rock flowed from deep underground for a thousand years without stopping. It was poisoning the air, the sea, the land. The People's shapes were loose, and they adapted with each generation, but it wasn't enough. They applied their advanced science to themselves, which made them even more plastic, some of their new forms becoming quite terrible to behold. Frightened of how far they would have to go, of what they might become in order to survive, the People looked to a new solution. They needed to find another world. They knew there were others out there, far beyond their own atmosphere. All they had to do was find them. With their adaptable forms, they should be able to survive a variety of possible planets. And so the great building began. All of their industry turned to the sky.

They built spaceships, clunky and clumsy at first, but learning twice as much from every success, and more from each failure. The ships became sleeker, sturdier, more advanced. They learned more and more about how to survive in space, about speed and distance through space, about maintaining health and sanity in the void. Permanent orbital stations experimented with stable, space-bound populations, finding the best ways to live off planet. Ships made voyages further and further from the homeworld. They came home with bizarre and disturbing stories of finding great boulders floating out in the vacuum. Boulders covered with what had to be artwork, on truly enormous scales. At first, the disturbed astronauts could only draw or describe what they had seen from memory. The great stones were orbiting with tremendous speed, after all, and spinning all the while. Many People still on the planet found it hard to believe. Where would these artworks have even come from? But then pictures started coming back, pictures of mile high murals covered in bright colors and frighteningly familiar shapes.

The true terror came with the first high resolution images of the People's ancient nemesis; the Great Star. There was no one on the planet that didn't feel the creeping horror as the images became clearer and clearer, revealing recognizable limbs, a torso, a head. Worst of all, the series of photos showed movement. Somehow, the monster was alive. What had, for the longest time, been no more than a blurry blob in telescopes, obscured by the high number of asteroids in its vicinity, now had a face. A mind. Shock and fear became disgust, became rage. Their ancestors had worshiped the star like a god; dedicated temples and holy spaces to it, made sacrifices and offerings to stave off a destructive wrath that always seemed to come anyway. This entity had wiped countless civilizations off the planet. Even their own now had to abandon their homeworld because of it. The People had stopped believing in gods, considering the Great Star to be simply that. Just another star in the sky, from whose direction destruction occasionally came. To find that it truly was a celestial being, that all those world shaping events, the loss of life, might have been deliberate... The ship building began taking on a militarized aspect.

After many years, the relocation project finally took off. Goodbyes were said, tears were shed, rituals were performed, and celebrations thrown. Then all remaining population, along with as many plant and animal species as could be salvaged from the poisoned world, were loaded onto the ships; a vast fleet of thousands, each meant to be an enclosed community. These then left the planet behind in waves, ready to voyage to their new destiny. There was just one last bit of unfinished business to attend to.                                                                             ****** When it was done, and the vast being that had tried so many times to destroy them had itself been destroyed, the ships spread out in every direction, journeying into the vastness of space, in search of planets to collonize. One, damaged by space debris, crashed onto a tiny, icy planet, their genetics adapting within a generation. Another fell through a wormhole, onto a world of burning carbon and massive active volcanoes, with similar results. Others landed safely on planets of mostly water, and found the seas more hospitable than the land, while yet others learned to share worlds with inhabitants that were already there. All across the galaxy, the People seeded themselves onto a wide variety of different planets, changing and adapting into forms so different that they would no longer recognize one another. Many lost the technology to travel through space in one way or another, while others simply considered it no longer important now that they had homes. One ship, the smallest, the very last to be built, and the last to leave, remained in the old solar system long enough to watch the form of Ymir scatter and fly away, long enough to watch their old home tear itself apart and create another asteroid belt. This ship, not as well provisioned as the others, due to its size, scavenged the system for rare materials. In the wreckage of their planet, they discovered unusual crystals created during that final destruction, crystals that could contain energy, and even warp local space. They discovered a tiny piece of Ymir that had not yet left the system. Embedded within it was another gem, and they discovered that, when contained within space defying panes of those special crystals, it served as an infinite energy source. With this object on board, they could easily contend with the rest of their People, who had regarded them as lessers, and given them the least. As a final act of remembrance, they took aboard one of the monumental artworks of Ymir, and also contained it within the special crystals. Then they began their long search for home.                                                                             ****** Theirs was the longest voyage of all the People. Despite their great longevity, many generations passed on the smallest ship, unaware that the encapsulated Infinity Stone they used to power everything, was also exerting influence over themselves. It stabilized their genetic structure, gradually locking them into one basic shape. Brightly colored and patterned skin faded into various shades of brown and cream. Having previously adapted to the confines of the small ship, their bodies became the smallest of all the People, their bone and muscle density increasing, their use of oxygen and nutrients becoming more efficient. The Stone blessed them with the ability to survive in empty space for a time, to be less effected by extremes in temperature, and to withstand powerful radiation, such as that given off by the Stone itself. They concentrated on crystal and light based technology, and eventually, Aesir began to spring from their lineages. From these came lines of famous captains and leaders: Lodurr, Hoenir, Donnar, Tyr, Woden, Gullveig, Nahelennia, and Mimir. Yet, they never found a world worthy of becoming their homeland. Not until the last of the captains, a young and enthusiastic Aesir by the name of Buri, made the fateful decision to just build an ideal world of their own, did hope of settling permanently blossom again.                                                                       ****** The aged woman rolled the cloth back up partway, and one of the others, a woman who looked no older than you, pointed out a specific part. It had happened recently, in the scheme of things. An invasion, a series of battles, a lost artifact that changed everyone who spent time in its vicinity. A Frost Giant woman, expecting both a child, and a new homeland. The power of the earth, it's spinning core, reached within her and effected the plastic genes of her child, just as in the days before settlement on their world of ice. He would be the first of his kind adapted for life on Earth, but she would not recognize this. The story of her people's origins had been lost and replaced long ago. The first of Earth's Jotnar would not know this for another thousand years. Across the cosmos, Infinity Stones, first collected by Ymir, would change hands, bringing endings and beginnings with them. Great creations and destruction alike would follow their guardians, each destined to foment change. Throughout time, there would be those who tried to gather them all together, to be not guardian, but master. Each time saw reconstruction on a terrible level, but each time, the would-be master ultimately failed. The Stones themselves fought back. They were not supposed to be here, and resented being under the will of a single being that was not of their choice. But their guardians, they blessed in many ways, though not all recognized it as such. The universe was changing, bouncing back from the Stones being used in tandem twice in rapid succession, and not everything was perfectly as it had been. Repercussions still echoed throughout the cosmos, leaving changed memories and messy timelines in their wake. The dead had never died, and there were those who remembered two separate realities. A whole year's worth of time had disappeared. In some places, entire planets changed, as specifically worded wishes from Stone wielders resurfaced them with life lost decades ago. Extinct species surged back to life on worlds no longer fit to take them. Objects popped in and out of reality, as people forgot and then remembered that they existed. The actions of one person were entirely reversed, redirecting the flow of history. It might be eons before everything settled. But for right now, ripples traveled over time, space, and reality. Power fluctuated, and minds warped. Two souls, trapped within the corresponding Stone, had been granted leave to pilot their bodies remotely, for the first time in the entire existence of the universe.

This was going to be an age of strange happenings.                                                                       ****** The third woman, the one with the wide eyes of a child pulled you away from the bolt of finished cloth, and draped her cowl over your face. It was a strange sensation; you could see, but you somehow got the feeling that no one else could, even though you were the only other person here. Perhaps this was something that had to be hidden from the other two women. She led you to the skeins of 'yarn', the threads of reality not yet woven. Within them glittered the potential of all things not yet come to be. You saw Loki and yourself, gray in both your hair, and a rebuilt Asgard that towered over the river and climbed the surrounding mountains. You saw a Titan whose air was clean, and whose land flourished. You saw a handful of deadly people, black and gray their motif, and the term 'Black Order' flicked through your head and was gone. You saw a toppled memorial in New York, three beautiful, brightly colored alien women carrying strange tidings, and a human body, covered in boiling mud. You saw an armored Titan, similar in appearance to Minos, gazing at the sky with a hate-filled grimace. You could see no further. The 'yarn' became colorless, full of potential, but unintelligible to your perception. The woman retrieved her cowl from your head, and then they all, along with their loom and bolts of cloth, began to shrink. They shriveled, smaller and smaller, their colors fading into monochrome, their forms and outlines simplifying until they were no more than line drawings on a great artwork that stretched across the sky. You floated in the air beneath it, recognizing the style as Ymir's, recognizing the air as winter, and recognizing the growing voices beneath you as the Seidkonas, and the mesmerized crowd. You could feel the runes pulsing all over your body, the light flowing from your eyes illuminating the artwork, which you had expanded to its full size using the power of the Asgardian containment units attached to it. As the trance faded, and you sank back to the ground, you closed the ancient, precious artwork back to its compact size, carefully passing it off to Saga, who had apparently had her phone out, and had filmed whatever it was that had just happened. Then you fell over, and you did not wake back up for a full day.

[gisellelx]

I generally like your Carlisle, but I think your Esme so blend. I find it curious because of the amount of time you spend thinking about Carlisle, your Esme only seems like someone that reacts to him, not someone that exists beyond him. As an independent person. Even your Edward is more fleshed out than your Esme. She doesn't feel like she has a personality. (She's better than S. Meyer's Esme, but still). Do you find her difficult to write?

An astute observation, anon!

Carlisle and Edward are the two characters I find most central to the stories within the saga I find compelling--it's shouldn't be too surprising that you'll often either find me writing their relationship as father/son/best friends or taking a slash AU approach. And that also means I've had a lot of practice writing them--both from inside their heads and from the POV of others observing them.

Esme I have less practice at, and really only stepped into when I started jotting down random one-shots on tumblr and discovered they were for some reason all coming from a 3rd-person Esme POV. It seems she loves Carlisle as much as I do, despite his extraordinarily obvious faults, which makes her a really fun character to be in the head of. But it also means I'm striking off in a new POV, and usually when I do that I throw out a lot of writing before I'm happy with it. (Case in point--I wrote about 50,000 words in order to produce the 15,000 words of Alice POV that make up Present Perfect.) One reason I decided to play with Cien Años is because it gives me an opportunity to get to know Esme a bit better, and also to let myself post things that are a little rougher as I get a handle for who I think she is.

And yes, I find her very difficult to write.

I don't agree with the assessment that Esme is a doormat or a creepy stepford wife. But canonically she does very obviously live first for Carlisle, and second, for her children. That is super different than most of the other characters in the saga, and doing that without making her seem like a void is hard, especially in the construct of a fic in which the chapters are designed to put both C and Es together in moments which show the inner workings of their relationship as it evolves and has evolved.

When Esme balances Carlisle, it’s subtle. It’s not in big, melodramatic fights. When she’s doing something it is usually for him, or while she’s thinking about him. If she’s with him, her attention is on him. It doesn’t mean she never thinks about other things, but when she’s alone with Carlisle he’s her focus. So that unto itself is always going to make her seem a bit...milquetoast? Her focus is generally pretty singular and I think that's right for her character.

But she's not unidimensional. In order to really bring out Esme as I think she might be, I need to set her against a character who is not Carlisle, which I've done in a handful of places. But that doesn't work for this current WIP, in which I've set my task as making each short about the two of them together.

That being said, I have a handful of times when I feel like I nailed expressing how I see her character even while she is with Carlisle. One is in chapter 7 of IIG, when she laughs at Carlisle being all melodramatic about having broken up the family. Even though she's mad at him for being a workaholic, she isn't mad mad at him, and her happy personality and unwillingness to take Carlisle's moping seriously inject exactly the balance I think she holds in their relationship.

Another time I think I did a good job writing the character I see was in the immediately previous chapter of CA:

She winced but said nothing. “Did I hear your father mention this injury was a fall out of a tree?” She grunted disapprovingly. “Storm last week took out a branch and I forgot. Stepped on air.” His smile came unbidden. “Air isn’t very supportive.” “So it seems.”

This to me, captured the right level of impetuousness, a little bit of disregard for authority, and the ability to bring Carlisle out of his shell that I feel are the hallmarks of her character. So I'm constantly trying to figure out the right way to bring that out in interactions which don't necessarily demand a direct challenge to Carlisle.

At any rate, this question spurred me to use these moments when I was happy with the way I drew her character to make a pretty substantial revision to the zero/tumblr draft of the next chapter of CA, "Scars." In the first go at it, I uncovered the idea that Esme was gently calling Carlisle out on his denial of his own trauma. (Honestly, I was pretty shocked when Esme thought of Carlisle as having been murdered, which is not something I've ever put into words before.) In draft two, I brought that out by putting that sentiment in dialogue instead of in prose. And in draft three, I made it the central problem of the short, rearranging a lot of the prose so that it's more centrally about that, and about who has control, and of what. It's kind of a fascinating peek at revision, to be honest! This "nah, discovered something more useful, so going to go back in and rewrite 50% of this and rearrange the rest of it" kind of revision is pretty common for me, but usually only my beta readers get to see it happen, so it's kind of fun to put it out here all linked. I think I'm getting closer to the Esme in my head, but I leave that for my readers to judge.

Original Slight Revision Full Revision

[moonstruckbucky]

The Recruit (2/?)

Summary: Becoming a SHIELD agent had been your dream and finally, you’ve achieved it. You’re at the top of your class in every field except one—hand to hand combat, and it doesn’t impress Captain Rogers in the slightest. Instead, it seems to convince him you’re useless, setting off a tense relationship between the two of you. In an effort to bridge the gap, Bucky offers to help you train to earn your way back into Steve’s good graces. What could possibly go wrong?

Pairing: Steve Rogers x fem!Reader x Bucky Barnes (not Stucky)

Warnings: Some language. More angst a la Steve.

Notes: I don’t do taglists so please don’t ask.

Series Masterlist //  Main Masterlist

Steve’s beginning to wonder if he should see Dr. Cho. Headaches have plagued him almost every day since he humiliated you in the gym. He knows that’s exactly what he did, and he almost felt compelled to commend you for keeping your cool in front of Bucky and the other agents. He also knows his treatment of you was more than a little unfair, but his ego wouldn’t allow him to rein it in. You had to learn, had to toughen up. If you couldn’t, you were useless to him and to SHIELD.

His uniform is tight across his chest as he straps in - a last minute mission mandated by Director Hill to scope out potential Hydra activity. He chose Bucky to accompany him, knowing the brunet has been itching to whoop some Hydra ass.

Now, Bucky stands in the jet, strapped to the nines in black leather and weapons, both visible and concealed. His dark arm glows under the blue lighting in the jet. He looks ready for a fight.

“You got this, right?” he asks. He knows he doesn’t need to, that Bucky wouldn’t have agreed if he didn’t think he could handle it. But he does anyways, just because.

“Yeah, piece a’ cake,” is Bucky’s reply as he cracks the knuckles of his flesh hand. “Let’s see how they feel about Frosty the Snowman exacting his revenge.”

Steve remembers when Bucky was afraid to joke about his time as the Winter Soldier. It hadn’t been too long ago, really, that he was shying away from anyone who dared utter the moniker or even Hydra. Now that he’s in recovery, he’s found dark humor in his experiences, can make a little light of what he’d gone through.

Steve aims a pointed look at his friend. “We’re not killing anybody, Buck. This is just intel.”

Bucky scoffs, waves dismissively. “We say that every time, and then every time, shit goes south. And if this was “just intel”, you would’ve brought one of the rookies to test them out - not me.”

“None of the rookies are ready for a mission yet,” he retorts, sliding his hands into his gloves. Bucky raises his eyebrows, feels a little wary about what he’s going to say next.

“Agent L/N seems to be able to handle herself.”

If Bucky wasn’t so in tune to both his best friend and in people’s body language, he would’ve missed the way Steve’s entire body goes rigid. Instead, he crosses his arms as Steve makes a show out of a long silence, purposely hesitating in responding.

“Agent L/N needs improvement,” is what he finally settles on. Then, because he’s not really sure why, he follows it up with, “She shouldn’t even be an agent.”

Bucky’s incredulous. “Why? Because of her knee? I’m missing an arm, as you so eloquently pointed out the other day. Should I not be an Avenger because of it?”

“It’s different, Buck,” Steve replies sharply, crystal blue eyes blazing when he finally lifts head to glare at the other man. Bucky’s hardly phased, simply crosses his arms over his chest patiently.

“How is it different? By your logic, no one with injuries or handicaps should be an Avenger, or an agent, or even military.” Steve’s silent. He knows Bucky’s right, but he won’t, can’t, admit it. His friend’s voice is soft as he asks, “Why are you so much harder on her than the others? What is it about her?”

“Leave it alone, Buck.”

The tone of his voice rings in finality - he won’t discuss this anymore, and Bucky is frustrated over it. He knows his friend is stubborn, pigheaded really, but he’ll get Steve to crack - eventually. For now, he lets it go, moves to the front of the jet where Clint is at the controls.

Meanwhile, Steve stews in irritation. The very topic of you is enough to have his face heating, fists clenching, and while he knows it isn’t really fair - he doesn’t really know you, after all - he can’t help it. Almost everything about you is enough to grate on his nerves. His therapist would tell him he’s projecting, but he can’t seem to stop.

The mission ends up being a bust. Absolutely no intel on Hydra activity whatsoever. Just a warehouse with a number of homeless people taking refuge inside it. So Steve and Bucky end up nearly buying out an entire grocery store out of nonperishables to keep them fed as the weather gets colder. Might as well turn the trip into something positive.

When the quinjet lands on the platform, Steve breaks away from Bucky. His post-mission routine, regardless of the outcome, is a solid two hours in the gym. Tony is on his ass for how many punching bags he goes through, but it’s the only way he knows how to level his head out again. He makes a quick stop at his room, changing into gym clothes, but when he gets to the gym door, he freezes.

It’s occupied. By you.

For a few moments, he just waits outside the door. Waits to see if you’re finishing up, and when you start on a new workout, he blows out a breath. He’s not sure if he should go in; you mere presence is enough to keep his concentration off his workout, but he feels the anxious energy in his veins.

He needs this workout, so he enters the gym.

You look up from your place on the bench press station, face hardening when you see Steve waltzing over to the squat rack like he owns the gym. White hot rage coils in your belly, an autonomous reaction to his presence. Since his public humiliation of you in front of other agents, you’ve been on the defensive around him, but you keep your head down and obey orders like a good little soldier.

You do it to appease him, but you aren’t happy about it. Not at all. It makes you feel subordinate - which, technically in rank, you are - but even worse, it makes you feel about two inches tall. He doesn’t act this way with other agents. He’s tough, yes, but never nasty in the way he is with you. It only leads you to believe it’s personal - for whatever reason, he just doesn’t like you.

Gritting your teeth, you turn back to lifting, grunting lowly with the effort. While you work out, your mind wanders.

Bucky’s salve has so far done wonders for your knee. When you push it, there’s only a dull ache beneath the surface. It’s there, but manageable. You’ll have to arrange to have Shuri send more, and you’ll get Bucky a gift basket maybe as thanks.

You’re still a little thrown by Bucky’s friendliness towards you - being best friends with Steve, you’d wrongly assumed he’d be just like him. After all, all the stories you’d heard of the two involved them getting into trouble in some way or another. You’re pleasantly surprised to learn it’s not the case at all - the two of them, while similar in some ways, you’ve noticed, are like hot and cold.

Where Bucky is extremely mild-mannered and gentle from what you’ve gathered, Steve seems the opposite - coarse, abrasive, quick to anger. It forces you to give him a wide berth whenever you’re around him.

Today is no different. The two of you dance around each other as you work out, and you can see the pinched lines in his face that tell you your presence bothers him just as his does you. When you step up to the fly machine beside him, he slams the weights down hard. Bristling, you find a different machine.

It goes like this for another twenty minutes - you find a machine, and he’s quick to push you off of it. You know you don’t necessarily have to leave, but being so close to him makes you angry all over again, voiding your work out completely. You’d come to work off your stress, and he’s only adding to it.  It’s as he swipes the treadmill you’re walking towards that you throw your hands up in defeat.

“Fine,” you growl, louder than intended as it echoes in the room. “I’m leaving.”

As you turn to go, his super hearing picks up, “Fucking asshole.”

When you slam the door behind you, Steve feels a little bit badly for cutting your workout short. He knows, maybe better than a lot of people, how good it feels to work off stress. He hadn’t missed the deep frown on your face each time he pushed you off a machine despite there being plenty of space for the two of you. Honestly, he’s surprised you went with it as long as you had, and even he can admit that last move was a pretty dickish one to make. You just make him so angry and flustered, and he knows he should address the why, but he isn’t ready to - not yet.

You’re cursing under your breath as you storm the hall up to your living quarters. They were optional when you signed on as an agent, but seeing as how you didn’t have much of a life to begin with, you didn’t see the point in having your own apartment.

Your quarters are basically an apartment anyways, though you share the space with your roommate, Julie. She’s a good agent, smart, though a little hot-tempered if you’re being honest. Can’t really take a joke, either. But she’s clean, quiet, doesn’t cause trouble.

In the middle of your muttering towards the elevator, you completely miss Bucky leaning against the wall beside it, smirking a little as his hearing picks up on you cursing Steve’s name. When you finally do see him, you startle, jumping backwards a little with a hand over your heart.

“Jesus, Bucky,” you gasp, and Bucky has to swallow thickly against the imperfect thoughts skittering across his brain. Instead, his smirk widens and he pushes off the wall.

“What’s Steve done now?”

You look confused, until it registers, and then you wave a hand around your ear. “Right, super hearing. He thwarted my workout.”

“Thwarted?” he snorts, eyes glittering in amusement. You scowl, but your mouth twitches a bit. Bucky is one hell of a mood-booster.

“Yes, thwarted. Basically forced me out of the gym with his planet-sized temper tantrum.” The vitriol is back in your voice, and Bucky sighs, shakes his head a little at the absurdity of his best friend.

“Since he won’t, I’ll apologize on his behalf. I really wish I knew what’s gotten into him,” he replies truthfully. You frown, both because the easiness is gone from his face and because you don’t mean to talk badly about his best friend, his Captain.

“Probably that shield of his shoved too far up his ass,” you grumble, brightening when Bucky laughs. Smiling softly, you add, “You don’t need to apologize for him, you know?”

Bucky likes the softness in your gaze, feels himself go mushy on the inside. Needing another reason to talk to you, he nods down at your knee.

“How’s it feeling?”

You kick your leg out a couple times, grinning happily. “Feels good. That salve really works, so thank you. I might have to get you a new bottle, though.”

He brushes it off. “Don’t worry about it. Shuri sends it every month or so. I can have her add a few bottles on for you, if you want?”

He preens when you flush, cheeks warming and eyelashes fluttering. You scratch your arm nervously, peek up at him under your lashes.

“You don’t have to do that for me, Buck.” It’s the softest, gentlest he’s ever heard you speak, and your eyes betray how much his offer really means to you. It makes your heart pound, makes you even more aware that it’s just the two of you in this hallway. It’s as intimate as when you were in his room that first time.

“It’d be my pleasure, doll.” The pet name comes too easily, he thinks, but he hasn’t a mind to care. Not when you flush so prettily. “Can I walk you up?”

“Sure.”

Chapter Three

[snowdice]

Masterpost (Old)

This is an old, slightly broken Masterpost, but I might not remember to change all the links. The new one is here.

If you would just like to see all of my writing, I tag everything with #adriana writes on my blog. Click here for everything in chronological order of my posting. Click here for my AO3 account.

Completed fics are marked complete in their summary. You can click on the universe tags to read fics for that universe in chronological order of my posting.

The Prison You Deserve: (Complete) Virgil should have known better. Trying to help only ever ended badly for him. After a misunderstanding, Virgil gets thrown into the most infamous prison across all of the kingdoms, where the most evil criminals are thrown to get what they deserve at the hands of nightmarish creatures from the void. Luckily (for once) Virgil really didn’t deserve it. Trusting that this isn’t just a cruel trick and he isn’t actually going to be tortured though is going to take a while. (In which Patton is a eldritch horror, telepathic nightmare, and still is the sweetest thing on the planet and off it.)

AO3 Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Bonus Features

Road Trips and Missing Persons:  Patton was just getting groceries. The next thing he knew, there was a knife at his throat and he was an unwilling uber driver. Virgil’s on the run after the murder of his dad, and it’s not just his paranoia that’s telling him he’s being chased down. He has to get somewhere safe, somewhere he can trust, and all he has is a couple of stories from his dad and a name: “Green Bellow Foods and Dispensary.”

AO3 Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

Mismatched High Heel Shoes: (One-shot: Complete) The boys are having fun. (This was for the #magpie500 event.)

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Cops and Not Robbers AU

You I’ll Come Back For: (Complete) They’d met in a jail cell, you see, but unlike now Patton had not been anywhere near trapped, not that Virgil had been aware of that fact. He’d just seen his sweet little cell mate who’d clearly not done anything to deserve being on that side of the bars. Virgil had said “What did you do to get stuck in this joint?” and Patton had started crying. It had taken zero lies and five hours for Patton to coax out the information he’d needed. He’d thought when he’d pranced up to the bars and told Roman he was ready to leave that the absolutely astonished expression which was quickly slipping into fury would be the last thing he’d ever see of the man whose crimes numbered enough to keep him in prison for the rest of his life. He’d escaped during his transfer to federal prison. (This was a dice fic. It also appears below!)

AO3 Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Mistaken Identities: (One-Shot: Complete) Roman was just walking out of an ice-cream shop when an unfamiliar man’s irate voice made him pause mid lick and look up. “Dammit Remus, I told you to meet me two blocks that way and you’re getting ice cream?” | Now as an identical twin, especially one with a brother who had a… certain personality, he wasn’t exactly unused to this sort of thing happening. So, he promptly opened his mouth to say, “Oh no I’m not…” | “Remus, I don’t care right now,” he interrupted. “Get in the car.” | “But-” | The man snapped his fingers and a hand descended on his shoulder. “Get him in the car.” | Roman meets Deceit and later Logan when he is mistaken for his brother who is apparently doing SOMETHING with his life.

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A Bloody Handkerchief:   (One-Shot: Complete) Dee and Roman help Logan move and Dee finds something from their past.

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Cuffed Universe

Tea, Cookies, and Handcuffs: (Complete) Logan finds a strange man on his property and of course invites him in for tea.

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What Remains Universe

What Remains of Us: (Complete) Virgil was young, but smart. “How are we going to do this?” he asked. “You’re 12. You can’t get a job or a house.” | “Remember when dad used to read us The Boxcar Children?” he asked. “It’ll be like that. Well, not exactly; there aren’t many old train tracks around, but we’ll find something. I even found an old copy of the book in the $.10 bin at the bookstore. The ending’s ripped out, but we’ve got the part where they figure out how to live in the woods. It’ll be like a guide.” | Patton and his little brother Virgil go on a “hiking trip” after the aunt they’d been living with hit Virgil.

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Remains of Memories: (Complete) Patton is about to graduate high school. As his life changes, he figures it’s time to confront some memories with the people he loves.

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Touch Me Gently Universe:

Touch Me Gently: (Complete) He had a total of four soulmarks: not an unheard-of thing, but rather rare. There were purple fingerprints on his wrist, looking like a day-old bruise from where someone had grabbed him too hard. What his mother had seen when he’d entered the kitchen was actually two soulmarks that overlapped slightly: a light blue one that darkened his lips and a yellow handprint that covered the lower parts of his cheek and jaw. The ring finger and the tip of the pinkie hit his lip, mixing with the blue to look like a sickly greenish-yellow bruise. What his dad had seen peaking out of the top of his t-shirt was a dark blue mark in the shape of fingers around his neck. Roman had been overjoyed when he realized what the marks were after the initial confusion. His parents had been a little less enthusiastic. (Roman meets his soulmates one-by-one and it’s not at all what everyone assumed when they first saw his soulmarks.)

AO3 Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Bonus Features

Never a Chance to Hate You: (Complete) Logan picks Dee up for a date early in their relationship. Dee reflects on how his perceptions of his soulmates changed once he met them.

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Is There Anything Left of Patton? (Zombie AU; One-Shot Series)  (Complete)

Logan has a secret in his basement. Three months into living with him, Virgil finds that secret. He almost wishes the secret was a simple as he first thought it was. Almost. AO3 Link

Something Left

Someone You’ll Never Meet

Food You’ll Never Eat

Things You’ll Never Do

There are Things You Have Lost

There Are Things That Are Missing

And There is a Question

Is There Anything Left of Patton?

And There is an Answer

But What Does It Mean?

One More Dance  

One More Chance

When There Is Something Left 

Bonus Features   End Credit Scenes

Dilemmas (One-Shots Series)

“But that doesn’t make any sense!” he yelled.| “Patton,” Remus said evenly.|“It doesn’t!” he screamed turning on him viciously. “There’s a big difference between not being sad someone’s dead and… and… and no! No! I wouldn’t be okay with seeing someone I hated die. I wouldn’t!”| “Yes, you would,” Remus said, standing up himself. He pointed an accusatory finger at him. “You would! And you know you would! Do you think you are the only one who can get a read on another side when functions cross? Those thoughts in your head are my domain and I knew exactly what you were feeling when I asked that question!” Virgil was forcibly summoned immediately, eyes wide. Patton and Remus have a philosophical discussion and then will have to deal with the fall out. (AO3 Link)

Moral Dilemmas

Ethical Reasoning

The Dangers of Stereotypes 

When I Can Say I Love You: (Complete) In a world where their very existences are illegal, let alone their relationship, Patton and Logan share a moment discussing what they wish their world could be.

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The Horror of Stereotypes: (Complete) There had always been a certain stereotype about people like him for as long as anyone could remember. After the Heart War of 1963, those stereotypes had been legalized and places like this had been created to enforce the universal truth: everyone had a soulmate. One soulmate. No more and no less. At least they were supposed to. When Remus’s brother gets arrested because of his two soulmarks, Remus risks everything by infiltrating the facility he legally should be in as well due to his own two soulmates to save him. There he meets Logan and it turns out they have a lot in common: they both got hired this week, they both have two soulmates, and they’re both here for the same reason. Oh. And as it turns out, they’re each other’s soulmates too.

AO3 Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Bonus Features

Labeled Universe (A Superhero AU)

Sometimes Labels Fail: (Complete) Logan was good at labels, at categories. Logan sorted the citizens of his city into 6 different categories in his mind: heroes, villains, vigilantes, criminals, government authorities, and civilians, and knew how to deal with each. But… but what was he supposed to do with him. Virgil was just trying to survive, though he didn’t think the part of him that compelled him to throw himself into fights whenever he saw the superhero Bluebird struggling had gotten the memo. His English teacher was right; he really was stupid. When the villain criminal… when Shadow Caster gets injured while throwing himself into the line of fire for Logan, Logan can’t find it in himself to turn him over to be arrested. Luckily, he knows a doctor very, very well. Virgil is going to get kidnapped adopted by the end of it.

AO3 Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Bonus Features

Sometimes Labels Shift (Post Sometimes Labels Fail Stories)

Here’s a timeline for these fics with some commentary.

Mini Fic Series: One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten Eleven Twelve Thirteen Fourteen Fifteen Sixteen Seventeen Eighteen Nineteen Twenty Twenty-One Twenty-Two Twenty-Three

Two Dinner Plates: (Complete) A muscle ticked in Logan’s jaw and Virgil tried not to flinch. “We seem to be coming from fundamentally different philosophies on how food should be distributed in a family structure.” In which we finally actually talk about Virgil’s thing™ with food. It goes about how one would expect it to.

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Back to School: (Complete) It’s Virgil’s first day back to school after everything and he has some adjustments to make.Aka a blatant excuse to enact the hug Virgil initiative.

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Sticky Note Pandemonium: (Complete) There were also sticky notes on the kitchen counter, the refrigerator, Virgil’s backpack, and even the oven, not to mention every wall. There was even one sticky note stuck on Logan’s butt.His husband had gone on a rampage.

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Arguments and other ‘A’ Words: (Complete) Logan and Virgil have a row. Virgil’s new family has a weird way of fighting.

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The Things We Haven’t Talked About: (Complete) Patton and Logan have noticed some concerning behavior from Virgil in their month with him. Beyond the flinching and haunted look in his eyes courtesy of his last foster father, there’s something else of concern for Patton and Logan and they really aren’t equipped to deal with it. They enlist some help from a couple of friends.

AO3 Part 1 Part 2

Wind Symphony: (Complete) Patton and Logan are still trying to figure out how to be parents and are worried about strange behavior coming from their new son as of late. Logan takes measures to figure out what is wrong.

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Coffee and Cinnamon Rolls: (Complete)  Remy meets his best friend/bosses new child and immediately has the must protect at all cost urges.

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Virgil’s Birthday:  (Complete) Virgil has his first birthday with Logan and Patton and he’s going to get everything he ever wanted.

AO3 Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Punishments: (Complete) Virgil gets into a fight at school. At home, everyone has to deal with their individual hang ups when it comes to punishments.

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Family Game Night: (Complete) The boys have a nice family game night. Patton gets to deal with figuring out how to not let them cheat with their superpowers.

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Family Science Night: (Complete) Dumb science nerd father and his curiosity-killed-the-cat idiot child play with electricity and superpowers.

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We Need to Put a Bell on Virgil: (Complete) Patton and Logan lose Virgil.

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Pumpkins, Corn, and Caffeine: (Complete) Remy steals Virgil to take him to a pumpkin patch. (A Labeled Universe Fic)

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Vengeance is Soft: (Complete) Logan sighed. Patton was a wonderful man: kind, gentle, and empathetic. He listened and took into account other’s perspectives and feelings on every issue and always did his best to make people feel at east. Patton while sick was an absolute monster. | Patton’s friends and family deal with him while he’s sick and here’s the thing about Patton. Patton is a hypocrite.

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First Week Fics: A collection of fics about Virgil's first week with Logan and Patton in the Labeled Universe.

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The Importance of Practice: (Complete) Virgil attempts to perform a simple light manipulation trick during training. He fails. (?)

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Lessons From a Book: (Complete) Virgil cannot get anywhere in his training. He guesses he finally manged to piss Logan off.

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Divestment of Childhood: (Complete) Now, the thing about Virgil was, he knew how to sneak out of a house in the middle of the night. He was very, very good at it. If sneaking out of places was something one could go to college for, Virgil could easily get a PhD. He knew all of the tricks. He did none of these things.Virgil runs away from home.

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Virgil’s Culinary Abilities: (Complete)  Patton’s running late so Virgil cooks dinner.

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Relabeled; Refiled (Prequels to Sometimes Labels Fail)

Coffee Shop Meet Cute: (Complete) Is this what falling in love felt like or was Patton just about to pass out from exhaustion? Patton and Logan’s first meeting in the Sometimes Labels Fail Universe.

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Coffee Shop Incident Report: (Complete) Patton and Logan’s first meeting in the Sometimes Labels Fail Universe, but what Logan put in his files about it afterwards.

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The Things We Never Mentioned: (Complete)  “Believe it or not, academia and relationships are not mutually exclusive.” That was likely true, Logan knew. It was also not the problem. The problem was his ability to move things with his mind, a blue suit he kept in his bag, and the mountains of red files he kept hidden in his apartment. No one knew that Logan was Bluebird, the cities resident superhero. He hadn’t even told his parents and he wasn’t planning on doing so. Sharing such a secret with anyone was a danger to everyone involved. He refused to do so. At the same time, he knew that starting a romantic relationship with anyone who didn’t know the truth, was unfair to that person. Inevitably they would find out and there would be a disastrous fallout, but beyond that, starting a relationship on a foundation of lies was a horribly cruel thing to do to another person. These two conflicting rules Logan followed had never posed an issue for him before recently, but…But he did like Patton.

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Logan’s 25 Step Plan to Ask a Boy Out: (Complete) “No! Logan look,” she said. “He likes you and you like him. You don’t need a list or a plan or schematics for this. Just walk up to him and ask him out before you hesitate so much that he thinks you don’t like him anymore.” | Logan’s eyes widened. “Is that something that can happen.” | “Oh god, this is hopeless.” | How is Logan so good at, but simultaneously so bad at this?

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Facts on White Chrysanthemums: (Complete) Logicality first kiss in the Labeled Universe.

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Gaps in His Files: (Complete) Logan Berry has learned many things the last 10 years: a lot of math and physics, a bit of humility, and how to be a hero being just a few. Through his education, his experience teaching, and his exploits as the superhero Bluebird, he’s changed in a lot of small and large ways. He has recorded these changes in well-organized documents and files. He’s even had to create two new file designations: a red one for files about his moonlighting at Bluebird, and a light blue one dedicated to his boyfriend, Patton.When Bluebird is targeted by a memory device and all of those 10 years of progress suddenly disappear, Patton Sanders and Logan’s extensive files are left as his only resource to get those memories back. But what is Patton supposed to do when there are clear gaps in his files? And what does he do when he is one of them?

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Remy’s Follow Up Questions: (Complete)  Remy sees Patton for the first time after the closet freak out.

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First Anniversary: Logan and Patton go on a trip for their first anniversary.

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Board Games: (Complete) “You’re really going to seduce me to win a monopoly game?” he asked.  | “Is it working?” Logan likes to cheat at board games. Especially at Monopoly.

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The Origin Story of a Yapping Mop: (Complete) Virgil was not the first living creature Logan carried in his arms to Patton. This is how they ended up with a dog.

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Illusory Records (Janus’ story (with a lot of Remus))

A Life That is Yours: (Complete) Decades before he was known the well-known and semi-respected vigilante Deceit, Janus makes a choice. He hopes it is good for the both of them.

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Deceit’s Follow Up Questions: (Complete) So what, if his actions could possibly be construed to look like they were in some way related to helping Bluebird. Maybe an outside might think he was in some way angry about what had happened to the superhero, but that wasn’t what was happening. It just… hit a nerve; it wasn’t a big deal. It did not mean he liked the man. It barely meant he respected him. Ugh. When had he started respecting a superhero?

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Illusions of Grandeur… Or Perhaps Just Illusions: Remus is training to be an undercover super-agent, but training is boring. So, being Remus he… finds some “fun” (read trouble) with the city’s resident vigilante.

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Other

Party Time Boredom: (Complete) Emile is bored at a party, but Bluebird suggests he go talk to a boy.

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Roll the Dice Event

1. Buckets of Roses: (Complete) As far as anyone knew, Logan was supposed to be in class right now. Which begs the question of why and how Roman is now in his room with him. (“And now that I have explained why I am currently in my own dorm room, would you care to explain why you are here?” “Not, um, not particularly.”)

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2. Touch Me Gently: (Complete) He had a total of four soulmarks: not an unheard-of thing, but rather rare. There were purple fingerprints on his wrist, looking like a day-old bruise from where someone had grabbed him too hard. What his mother had seen when he’d entered the kitchen was actually two soulmarks that overlapped slightly: a light blue one that darkened his lips and a yellow handprint that covered the lower parts of his cheek and jaw. The ring finger and the tip of the pinkie hit his lip, mixing with the blue to look like a sickly greenish-yellow bruise. What his dad had seen peaking out of the top of his t-shirt was a dark blue mark in the shape of fingers around his neck. Roman had been overjoyed when he realized what the marks were after the initial confusion. His parents had been a little less enthusiastic. (Roman meets his soulmates one-by-one and it’s not at all what everyone assumed when they first saw his soulmarks.)

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3. Markups: (Complete) Roman leered down at him, clearly incredibly pleased with himself. “You,” he said as Logan did his best to swallow down the rest of his laughter, “have been criticizing my work all day. Which is basically like you’ve been criticizing me. So…why don’t I return the favor?” He wiggled the uncapped pen in front of Logan’s nose. “You wouldn’t dare,” Logan said lowly. (Logan and Roman do some editing.)

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4. Moral Dilemmas: (Complete) “But that doesn’t make any sense!” he yelled.| “Patton,” Remus said evenly.|“It doesn’t!” he screamed turning on him viciously. “There’s a big difference between not being sad someone’s dead and… and… and no! No! I wouldn’t be okay with seeing someone I hated die. I wouldn’t!”| “Yes, you would,” Remus said, standing up himself. He pointed an accusatory finger at him. “You would! And you know you would! Do you think you are the only one who can get a read on another side when functions cross? Those thoughts in your head are my domain and I knew exactly what you were feeling when I asked that question!” Virgil was forcibly summoned immediately, eyes wide. Patton and Remus have a philosophical discussion and then will have to deal with the fall out.

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5. You I’ll Come Back For: (Complete) They’d met in a jail cell, you see, but unlike now Patton had not been anywhere near trapped, not that Virgil had been aware of that fact. He’d just seen his sweet little cell mate who’d clearly not done anything to deserve being on that side of the bars. Virgil had said “What did you do to get stuck in this joint?” and Patton had started crying. It had taken zero lies and five hours for Patton to coax out the information he’d needed. He’d thought when he’d pranced up to the bars and told Roman he was ready to leave that the absolutely astonished expression which was quickly slipping into fury would be the last thing he’d ever see of the man whose crimes numbered enough to keep him in prison for the rest of his life. He’d escaped during his transfer to federal prison.

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6. The Horror of Stereotypes: (Complete) There had always been a certain stereotype about people like him for as long as anyone could remember. After the Heart War of 1963, those stereotypes had been legalized and places like this had been created to enforce the universal truth: everyone had a soulmate. One soulmate. No more and no less. At least they were supposed to. When Remus’s brother gets arrested because of his two soulmarks, Remus risks everything by infiltrating the facility he legally should be in as well due to his own two soulmates to save him. There he meets Logan and it turns out they have a lot in common: they both got hired this week, they both have two soulmates, and they’re both here for the same reason. Oh. And as it turns out, they’re each other’s soulmates too.

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7. Remains of Memories: (Complete) Patton is about to graduate high school. As his life changes, he figures it’s time to confront some memories with the people he loves.

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8. Tea, Cookies, and Handcuffs: (Complete) Logan finds a strange man on his property and of course invites him in for tea.

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9. A Mystery in a Mask (but Not Out of It): (Complete) Roman accidentally sleeps with a co-worker, but since his job is being a superhero and they all wear mask, he’s not sure which co-worker. Also Patton got kidnapped.

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10. Pumpkins, Corn, and Caffeine: (Complete) Remy steals Virgil to take him to a pumpkin patch. (A Labeled Universe Fic)

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11. Where Ghosts Live: (Complete) Logan meets three ghosts on the way to his destination. All of them have different things to say.

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12. The Death of Benji (Complete) A crime has been committed in the mindscape. Patton and Janus investigate. Virgil semi-reluctantly helps.

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[stephkaylor]

FAVES and FAILS: The Vampire Diaries

So I have decided that since The Vampire Diaries has a spin off, The Originals, I am going to divide the characters based on where they appeared the most. So on this list I will be talking about the Salvatores, the Petrova/Gilbert line, the Bennets and Caroline, etc. but I will discuss the Mikaelsons, Hayley, etc. on their own list with the other characters that appeared on The Originals mostly. As always, spoilers are abound as I will discuss storylines and character arcs below, so be warned of that.  In any case, here’s my FAVES and FAILS for The Vampire Diaries. 

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER: Damon Salvatore

Could it be anyone else? I don’t think so. He’s a delightful little sociopathic shit and I love everything about him. He is 99% id and 1% ego, if that, and even when I hated him, I loved him (god, I sound like Elena…). In any case, love this man, five stars, would recommend, chef’s kiss. 

LEAST FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER: …I think Matt Donovan…?

Ugh, it’s hard to pick between Matt, Tyler, and Jeremy, but I think it has to be Matt. I never enjoyed his judgey attitude against everything supernatural, he seemed pretty whiney most of the time, and he was just genuinely uninteresting for the majority of the show.  Not into it. Pass.

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER: Katherine Pierce (Katarina Petrova)

I thought about giving this post to Caroline by default, but if it comes down to it, Katherine nudges her way into the top spot. Katherine gave no fucks, knew what she wanted and was unapologetic about how she went about getting it, and an all around bad bitch. Was she primarily evil? Yes. But, to be honest, it never really bothered me. 

LEAST FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER: Bonnie Bennet

God, this woman was annoying. She was hypocritical, judgmental, and far too holier than thou for me to swallow her bullshit. She constantly played favorites with Caroline and Elena (I’m sorry, you hold Caroline becoming a vampire against her for like two seasons, but when Elena becomes one, it’s not her fault? Sure.). She hated all supernatural creatures because they “go against nature”, but it’s totally chill for you to perform sacrificial magic to get what you want, unleashing a terrible evil in the process (but it’s not her fault). How she nearly excommunicated Caroline just because she stayed with Stefan after Stefan killed Enzo, as if it was her fault in any way. How everyone treated her like she was a special little unicorn because she’s a Bennet Witch and she’s so magical, like, please, gag me. I could go on, but I honestly cannot be bothered. Hard pass. 

THE CHARACTER THAT DESERVED BETTER: Caroline Forbes

She was essentially shunned by all of her friends and family for becoming a vampire, even though she didn’t choose to become one at all. Also, she was basically used as collateral damage for the entire Salvatores and Gilberts versus The Mikaelsons debacle just because Klaus liked her. She was always the second choice no matter what the situation was (unless it’s her being impregnated with magical twins without her consent and then guilted into carrying the babies, but poor Alaric just lost his wife. I’m sorry, unless it’s your uterus, shut the fuck up). I’ll just be over here doing what exactly NO ONE on the show did, and pick Caroline first.

DEADWEIGHT CHARACTER WE SHOULD’VE DUMPED IN 2009: Tyler Lockwood

I couldn’t pick Matt twice, so Tyler, I guess. He was selfish, a terrible boyfriend to both Caroline and also Liv later, and if I have to hear that boy whine about his fucking sire bond one more time I will literally throw my laptop off of a bridge. 

UNDERHYPED CHARACTER: Lorenzo “Enzo” St. John

Honestly, he’s one of the one things that made the last few seasons of the show bearable.  His delightful British rogue was a lovely way to fill the void that the Mikaelsons left in my heart, his devil-may-care attitude was man-made-manifest of what I was always thinking while watching the show, his BFF relationship with Damon and later Caroline was a joy to watch, and he was way too good for Bonnie. 

OVERHYPED CHARACTER: Alaric Saltzman

He is marginally more bearable right now on Legacies, but he annoyed the shit out of me while he was on the first show. Does he hate vampires or is he best friends with them? Does he want to be a hunter or does he want to stay away from anything supernatural of any kind? Also, he (along with nearly everyone else) basically guilted Caroline into carrying his magical siphoner babies, which is a touch too icky for me…

SHIP YOU WOULD SELL YOUR SOUL FOR: Delena (Damon and Elena)

Could it be anyone else? I never shipped Stelena, as I found both Stefan annoying and Elena too woe-is-me while she was with him. She made Damon want to be a better person and he made her embrace who she really was, monster and all. They had a perfect balance between themselves, and it was a joy to watch. He got the girl, guys. 

SHIP YOU JUST WERE’N THAT INTO: Steroline (Stefan and Caroline)

They were just too…meh. I was entirely uninterested in them, whatsoever, and isn’t that even worse than a ship that you hate? I used their scenes for a bathroom break or to get a snack, as I was guaranteed to miss nothing interesting or important while they were on screen. 

CHARACTER YOU LOVE TO HATE/FAVORITE VILLAIN: Kai Parker

What does it say about me that all of my favorite characters are violent psychopaths…? I’m just going to leave that to be unpacked with the future therapists I’m bound to hire. Kai was the perfect evil. He was powerful, purposeful, and unapologetically demonic in the very best way. I could watch him terrorize my favorite characters forever and not get bored.  Perfection.

FAVORITE STORYLINE: Stefan and Damon’s Brotherhood

If you don’t think this is what the show was about at it’s core, you’re wrong. They loved each other, they hated each other, they died for each other, they killed for each other, and, ultimately, they let nothing and nobody come between them. If you asked me who Damon loved more, Elena or Stefan, I COULD NOT answer you, and isn’t that just the fucking point?!

STORYLINE WE COULD’VE DONE WITHOUT: Magical Babies

I know that a major reason this was even a storyline is because Candice Accola got pregnant, but still…how? Like…she is a vampire..? She is unable to biologically change…? Like can someone grab me a biology textbook and explain how this a thing that can happen BIOLOGICALLY, please? I get that they are mythical creatures, so science doesn’t mean much here, but it just doesn’t make sense in any universe. Also, as I said above, the fact that Caroline was impregnated without her consent and then largely guilted into carrying the babies is a touch too rape-y for me…

BIGGEST PLOTHOLE: Do they go to school, or…? 

Like, are they just compelling the teachers to not notice them not attending class like 90% off the time? Also, how do the people in Mystic Falls not know anything about the supernatural? Like, they aren’t subtle AT ALL so how do they keep sliding under the radar? Also, in a lesser way, how are hybrid witch/vampires a thing? Like, I thought if a witch dies (like they would have to if they become a vampire), they lose their magic…?Make it make sense, Julie!

MOST HEARTBREAKING MOMENT: Damon Dies (the first time)

Honestly one of the saddest moments in the entire series was Damon’s ghost watching Elena lose it when he doesn’t make it back from the Other Side. They were finally happy and together and they can only enjoy it for like five minutes before it goes to shit. Why, Julie??!

BIGGEST EYEROLL MOMENT: Magical Babies (again)

I try to not use something twice on this list but COME ON. This was ridiculous and I do not support this in any way.  (Also this twin bullshit is still fucking annoying on Legacies, if anyone was wondering).

MOST SHOCKING MOMENT (any spit-takes?): Elena forces Kathrine to take The Cure

This was one of the moments that I literally gasped aloud. Most of the time the foreshadowing on these shows is seen from miles away, but I honestly did not see this coming at all. Also, Kathrine was basically the LAST person who wanted that cure so it’s crazy that she was the one to end up taking it and turning human.

MOST BADASS MOMENT: Kathrine kisses Damon at the end of Season 1

Like I said before, she is the original BAD BITCH of the show (not an actual Original, but you know what I mean…) and this was an amazing entry for the character who would be, largely, the villain of the series. It played on the feelings that Damon is developing for Elena, it finally introduced the person who started it all for the Salvatores, and it showed us exactly who she is at her core, and that she isn’t sorry about it at all.

SERIES FINALE SATISFACTORY LEVEL (use no words, just gifs):

OVERALL MARKS OUT OF TEN (10 being this show has changed your life for the better, you happily rewatch the series over and over, and the show has made your life better in some way. 1 being this show gave you nothing but trust issues, a stomach ulcer, and high blood pressure, and you honestly do not know why you did this to yourself) 

7 out of 10. 

I look back on The Vampire Diaries with the kind of fondness that only comes from a bizarre mix of nostalgia and incredulity. When scenes from this series show up on my instagram feed or on my Youtube recommended page, an involuntary smile creeps across my face without me realizing. I could do without like half of the characters and some entire seasons were completely unnecessary to watch, but it gave me some of my very favorite characters and ships, and spawned an entire universe that I still enjoy to this day. This magical, crazy, beautiful world was a joy to experience, even when it made me want to beat my head against a wall at least once per season.

If you want to see the other ones I have made, here's the original post with links. x  Hope you like these! (I say to probably no one...)

[carefreejules]

Prologue – Broken Routine

In the middle of the void of darkness, a lone figure stands under a single spotlight as she feebly clutches the gleaming golden trophy in her small hands. She lifts up her head to smile at an audience who’s not even there. The single ray of light shuts off suddenly, enveloping her entire being into darkness.

Cold.

Lonely.

Muffled voices grow louder and louder, clearer and coherent. Filling the empty dark void with a cacophony of the same demeaning phrases that repeat like a broken record. The girl shivers from the darkness. She falls to her knees, as if being weighed down by the words themselves.

“You cheated.”

“You tricked opponents into feeling sorry for you.”

“You didn’t deserve to win.”

A tear falls. Then two. Until her eyes are blurred and overflowed with tears.

Through the sea of self-deprecation that drowns her mind, she weakly reaches out into the darkness and says,

“Help me.”

--

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

The girl in the dream jolts up awake, older now, her heart and mind racing from the adrenaline of abruptly being pulled from her nightmare. Her skin feels hot from the warm summer air that breezed inside of her room from an open window, but at the same time feels cold from the lingering darkness that clings to her body, refusing to let go. She shivers. Her sleepy cobalt blue eyes drift around her room, as if confirming to herself of the present and not of the past that creeps into her dreams every now and again.

Just to be sure, she pushes the covers off of her and wanders over to her blue messenger bag to pull out her wallet and Trainer ID.

Name: Juliet

Birthday: June 15

Home Region: Hoenn – Lilycove City

That was enough for her. She lets out a sigh of relief and turns her head to the wide mirror in the bathroom. She tiredly regarded her medium length wavy black hair with various stray locks sticking up in random places, the subtle bags under her eyes, and the baggy Mudkip shirt she wore over shorts that didn’t match.

“Good morning,” Juliet greets her reflection. Something comes up from behind her and nudges his head against her ankle. She looks down to see her Shiny Trapinch groggily nuzzling his head against her legs, silently requesting mutual affection. Her smile is gentle as she scoops up the baby Ant Pit Pokemon in her arms and plants a soft kiss on his head. Seeing her beloved pet Trapinch was enough to make her forget the dream she had.

“’Morning to you too, Pistachio. I have to get ready for work so be good while I’m gone, OK?” She told him gently. Pistachio nods obediently and squirms out of her arms to waddle back to his bed.

As she went through her usual morning routine, her Rotom phone hovered in front of her to deliver her morning updates that mainly consisted of the weather, missed calls or new texts, and the spawns of Pokemon that were likely to appear in the Wild Area via Power Spots.

“Rotom, are there any strong Raids that are likely to appear today?”

“Bzzzt! There is likely going to be a Dragapult Raid in Axew’s Eye. But, it will be raining.”

“Dragapult huh...Ghost and Dragon, but being part dragon means it potentially has a large type coverage.” Juliet mused to herself as she tightened the bright yellow tie around the collar of her black and white plaid Battle Cafe uniform. After successfully taming the knots of her bed head, she pulled her hair back into a high ponytail and slipped on her thick framed navy glasses. She took one more look at herself in the mirror for any obvious imperfections, filled up Pistachio’s food bowl, before grabbing her messenger bag and heading out.

It was a hot day in Wyndon, but the breeze that brisked passed her face as she biked along the route to work made it bearable. She wasn’t going to let a dream put a damper on an otherwise, beautiful day. The smell of coffee, tea, and pastries did wonders to calm her nerves, and she could vent out any frustrations on Raids after work.

The Battle Cafe came into view, making her jump off her bike to walk the rest of the way there. She slipped to the back of the cafe, carefully parking and locking her bike to a light post, and welcomed the scent of freshly brewed coffee that hit her senses the moment she walked in.

“’Morning, Boss!” Juliet called. Her boss turned his head back and shot her an easy-going grin. Richard, who casually lets her call him ‘Boss’, is the Cafe Master of the Battle Cafe, so he was the one who battled customers while she was just a part-time Barista.

“Top of the morning, kiddo! Alcremie and Slurpuff are in tip-top shape today so I have a good feeling about my wins today!”

“Ohoho...Is that so? I'll be paying close attention, then.” Juliet tossed out her Sylveon, whom she named Hilda, to help around the cafe as per usual. Her Pokemon was also popular amongst regulars and children for being friendly and playful; sometimes even putting on a little show for customers while they were waiting for their drinks.

Juliet fell into her usual comfortable rhythm, taking and making orders that came in, overseeing battles that were requested by customers – it was clear that today was just going to be another normal day at work. Before she knew it, the end of her shift came and she swiftly changed out of her work uniform into her usual blue varsity jacket, ripped black shorts, and grey beret before taking off to the Wild Area. 

This routine was enough. She didn’t need anything more or less.

--

It was raining heavily over Axew’s Eye, but that didn’t stop Juliet from peeking into the stony well and tossing a Wishing Piece in its depths. She immediately took a step back as a huge pillar of energy shot up from the Power Spot and swirled ominously with power. A tell tale sign of a powerful Dynamax Raid. But she had travelled from region to region with her Pokemon and it wasn’t like this was her first time battling a powerful Raid by herself. She took off the soggy grey beret sitting on top of her soaked ebony hair before throwing her legs over the Power Spot and falling into its depths. She skillfully landed with her knees bent in a crouch to avoid impact in her ankles and rose to face the Dynamaxed Pokemon that was waiting for her.

A Dynamaxed Dragapult. As her Rotom predicted.

She hummed thoughtfully before sending out Hilda. Her Sylveon growled at the large Dragon Pokemon before her trainer summoned her back to be Dynamaxed. Hilda stood on an even playing field as Dragapult and unleashed Max Starfall as commanded. Dragapult recoiled and immediately put up it’s defences. The trainer didn’t expect things to go down hill so quickly from there. Breaking down its barrier wasn’t the hard part; but it was how many turns it took to attack and the range of the attacks, chipping off Sylveon’s health too quickly for comfort.

It became clear that this battle wasn’t feasible for one person.

Juliet clicked her tongue in defeat and returned her Pokemon before fleeing out of the Power Spot on her Flygon. Once the trainer was back on the surface, she called out her Sylveon to heal her up and reassured her of her efforts.

“It’s OK, Hilda. I was a little in over my head thinking I could do that Raid by myself. I might have to call the others.” She cooed while stroking her Sylveon. Hilda yipped sadly but nudged her face into her trainer’s hand. The trainer retired to her tent that she had set up a few feet away and as if on cue, her Rotom Phone started to ring.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Jules! You called saying you needed help with a Raid? Are you sure you should be doing raids in this weather?”

“Well, I thought it would be smart since there are less trainers around and the rain has let up a bit. I could use some help, though. This one’s a tough one.” Juliet replied as she dried her hair off with a towel with her free hand.

“Then, let me help! Where are you?”

“Axew’s Eye.”

“Ahh, so it must be a dragon Pokemon! Those are tough. I’ll be over in a jiffy!”

“Thanks, Mary!”

After 20 minutes or so of waiting, Mary peeked her head into Juliet’s tent. Mary was a member of their Raid group and one of Juliet’s good friends that she met when travelling to Johto.

Unlike the Gym Challenge, where young aspiring trainers take on the Gyms across the Galar region in order to participate in the Champion Cup, there was another sport that was rising in popularity for those who were looking for a more thrill-seeking experience that involved teamwork. Throughout the Wild Area in Galar, there are countless rock wells called ‘Power Spots’ that hid a massive cavern of Dynamaxed Pokemon, all varying in rarity and strength. Sometimes the Pokemon lurking underneath will make their presence known from the beacons of light that emit from their wells. However, rarer Pokemon are more compelled by the power of Wishing Pieces that are thrown in. Wishing Stars were not easy to come by, being meteorites that fall from space, making them a strongly sought out item for Raid teams.

The Raid team that Juliet is the ‘leader’ of, which she named ‘Raid Prism’, is considered one of the most well-known teams due to the fact that they were one of the first teams that started the boom of Raids in the first place. The boom was unintentional and started from a few impromptu Raids they took on when they first landed in Galar over a year ago. Juliet jokingly recorded and streamed their battles for something to look back on, until a steady stream of supporters tuned in with each Raid they took on thereafter. Her group weren’t really doing it out of competitiveness to see who could catch the rarest Pokemon or amass a collection of Gigantamax Pokemon – they’ve always done it out of the excitement of just fighting strong Dynamaxed Pokemon as a team. Their efforts were eventually recognized by Professor Magnolia, who hired them as Field Researchers in order to uncover the secrets of the Dynamax Phenomenon from the various Pokemon that were caught in the Power Spots. 

Well, Field Researchers was a bit of a stretch since their job mostly just involved catching Pokemon that were requested of them. Because of this, their team wasn't blessed with the opportunity to hear the different theories that were thrown around over round tables about what was being researched, but it did pay well – well enough that the team decided to settle down in Galar for the time being in neighbouring flats in Wyndon.

But that hardly mattered at the moment..

Jules and Mary jumped into the Power Spot and, surprise surprise, were blown out from their defeat. Mary dusted off the wet dirt from her paint splattered patterned tights, wrung out rain water from her damp, curly brown hair, and grimaced down into the Power Spot.

“You weren’t kidding. I think this is the first Raid Pokemon I’ve encountered that could attack so many times and with so much range!”

“Do you think Tessu and Vanquil are available? I think we need the whole team for this one.”

The duo took a moment to call the two remaining members of their team and they arrived in record time. Tessu stared at the state of Mary and Juliet, who were soaked from the rain and their hair were also tousled from being blown out. The short haired trainer gritted her teeth.

“Yikes. How many attempts did you make?”

“Mary once, twice for me.” Juliet grumbled while pulling her hair out of their twin braids.

“Well, we’re all here now so let’s wrap this up, yeah?” Vanquil suggested while rolling his shoulders confidently.

--

“Why is this so hard?!” Vanquil yelled as he lay face first inside of Juliet’s tent. The others sat around him in defeat as they tiredly ate through their curry in hopes of adding fuel to their exhausted minds and bodies.

“Do you think we’ve finally been bested?” Tessu mumbled.

“I don’t think so. I think the best course of action is to work around how many times it can attack.” Juliet began.

“You mean like, figure out how to not get hit?”

“Exactly! Our Pokemon are strong enough to dish out damage and break down its barriers but the problem is stamina and it’s Dragon Darts attack.”

“Hmmm...Why don’t we use attacks that will make our Pokemon out of its range before attacking?” Mary thought out loud.

“Ohhhhh...like Fly or Dig? That could work! I also have a bunch of Guard Specs that could eliminate any debuffs our Pokemon get.” Jules turned to her Rotom Phone, which had been recording their conversation, and uploaded it to their team’s Pokegram. She always made a habit of recording as much of their Raids as possible for the purpose of helping and inspiring Raid teams. The comments were already flooding in with ‘you can do it!’ or ‘psh, it can’t be that hard’. Once they had finished their curry, they set out to the Power Spot in hopes that this would be the final attempt.

--

“This is working way better than I thought!” Juliet yelled as her Flygon, Tiki, flew towards the Dragapult to unleash Crunch, which broke through it’s barrier and weakened it. The Dragon Pokemon started to look worn out, signalling that it was almost down for the count. Mary’s Thievul dealt a final Night Slash before the Dragapult fell in defeat.

“Now, Jules!!” Vanquil shouted in her direction. Juliet quickly pulled out an Ultra Ball to Dynamax it and ran with it before jumping high and throwing it over her head with all of her might at the fallen Pokemon. The giant Ultra Ball opened and sucked in the Dragon Pokemon before landing on the ground with a heavy thud.

They all huddled together in anticipation as the oversized Ultra Ball shook slowly on the ground.

It shook once.

It shook twice.

It shook thrice.

The Raid team braced themselves for the Pokemon to break out, but the Ultra Ball glowed green and shrunk down to normal size. Vanquil threw a fist in the air and let out a loud whoop that echoed through the cavern while the other three sighed in relief and slumped to the ground in exhaustion. Vanquil went over to retrieve the caught Pokemon and helped them up so they could finally get out of there. But not before posting the recording of their battle and victory first.

The rain had begun to stop as they got out of the Power Spot one by one. Vanquil proudly twirled their Dragapult’s Ultra Ball on his finger before staring at it curiously. “What do you guys want to name him?”

“God.”

“My Worst Nightmare.”

“Hell?”

“Um...On second thought, I’ll leave it at that. I think we’re all a little traumatized right now.”

--

“Of course, Professor Magnolia. It was a hard one to catch but hopefully the Dragapult will offer something to your research. Yes. You’re welcome. Take care, OK? And say hi to Sonia for me. Good night!”

Juliet had never been this happy to be back in her flat before. She was soaked from head to toe from the rain and her body ached from over-exertion. Thank Arceus she didn’t have work the next day and she could spend the day sleeping in and lounging around. The trainer took a long, hot shower, threw on her so-called pajamas and was ready to knock out for the day.

Another day came and went. Another routine, unbroken and passing by peacefully-

RING RING RING RING

Until her Rotom phone started ringing.

She whined exasperatedly and was ready to tell the telemarketers off upon taking a quick glance at the unfamiliar number. Her exhausted body screamed at her to ignore it in favour of sleep, but her thumb instinctively tapped the answer button anyway.

She tried to put on her friendliest, at work, voice for the person on the other line.

“Hello?”

“Good evening. Is this Miss Juliet?”

A mature woman’s voice, she deduced.

“Yes, it is. Who is this?”

“My name is Oleana. I’m the secretary to Chairman Rose.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 1: New Job and Old Connections

In the middle of the void of darkness, a lone figure stands under a single spotlight as she feebly clutches the gleaming golden trophy in her small hands. Except this time, she doesn’t raise her head to smile. She barely acknowledges the ghostly hands that run through her hair across her back, coddling her but with no warmth to speak of.

Cold.

Lonely.

The muffled voices returned, growing louder and louder, clearer and coherent. Filling the empty dark void with a cacophony of empty compliments and reassurance. Or, were they actually empty?

She didn’t know. She didn’t know which voices to believe.

“You did amazing!”

“You’re so strong!”

“I want to be like you someday.”

Why wasn’t she happy? Why couldn’t she be happy? Who cares what other people thought? As long as there was someone who believed in her, that’s all she needed, right?

Wasn’t making her parents proud, enough?

--

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Instead of jolting awake, Juliet’s eyes fluttered open, letting the few tears escape down her cheeks. Recalling the fragments of her dream made her heart uneasy, and her hands shaky. No matter how many times she saw those dreams, she could never get used to them. But, at the same time, she knew she couldn’t dwell on them. Ignoring them meant they would eventually go away, right?

Right.

Turning over to her Rotom phone, it reminded her of the important meeting with Oleana and Chairman Rose that was scheduled for her Raid team, from the call she got a few days ago. She couldn’t recall specific details of the call amidst her initial excitement but she knew that the opportunity given to them was an honour to receive. Thinking about where the job could lead them, filled her with the enthusiasm she needed to force herself out of bed and get dressed.

After sifting through her wardrobe for a good hour and a half, mentally cursing herself for not having many business or formal appropriate clothes options, Juliet settled on a blue blouse with black pants to wear for the meeting. Her hands instinctively went up to her hair to tie them into their usual braids, but perhaps she looked a bit more mature if she left her hair as is.

She didn’t really know what she was doing. Travelling all over the world didn’t leave many opportunities for her to dress up for the occasion.

“This should be fine.” She told herself.

“Trapinch?” Pistachio called out. She turned her head to the baby Pokemon, who waddled over to her feet and gazed up at her curiously. He probably was just as unfamiliar to her current attire as she was.

“Me and the others have an important meeting to go to. But, do you want to come with me? It must be boring being at home, but you have to be good, OK?”

“Trapinch!!”

--

“...This is a really long elevator.” Vanquil grumbled while tapping his foot impatiently. It certainly wasn’t an understatement. The Rose Tower stood over 1000 feet tall, overlooking all of Wyndon and beyond. It’s sleek, futuristic architectural design was fitting for Chairman Rose, the one in charge of the Pokemon League and president of a large business conglomerate known as Macro Cosmos. Even though they were inside of the Rose Tower and about to meet the man himself, it still didn’t feel real.

The elevator finally slowed to a stop, and the doors finally opened to reveal Oleana and Chairman Rose waiting for them on the far side of the room. Rose stood up from his executive chair and beckoned them out of the elevator with a gentle grin.

“Come in, you four. No need to be shy.”

Easier said than done from a man with as much power and money as one could only dream of.

Juliet was the first to exit and firmly shook his hand. “Good day, Chairman Rose. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Likewise. The things you’re doing for Dynamax Research on top of contributing to tourism, I’m very grateful to see the Galar region thriving especially with the Gym Challenge fast approaching.” Rose added.

“Tourism?”

“Why, yes. With your group and many others making a sport and spectacle of Max Raid Battles, we’ve seen an increase in visitors from all over the world who come to visit the Wild Area for themselves.” Rose motioned them to sit on the leather couches, where tea and other refreshments were spread out in front of them.

“I’m glad! The Galar region is a beautiful region and the Wild Area is just one of the few reasons why we’re so happy to be living here. Right?” Juliet asked, turning her head to her friends, who were already treating themselves to the snacks offered to them.

“Right! We’ve only been living in Galar for over a year, but it’s been really fun doing Raids and inspiring trainers to go out into the wild to see what the region has to offer.” Tessu replied.

“We’ve also been looking forward to the Gym Challenge since in other regions, it’s not as hype up as it is here.” Vanquil added..

“Thank you for reaching out and giving us the opportunity to be co-hosts of the event. But, if I may ask, why us?” Mary asked with a tilt of her head.

“Well, on top of your group playing a part in Dynamax Research, I believe your group in particular will be able to offer different insights of battling since you all come from different regions, correct? That will surely make commentary more interesting and entertaining.” Rose then handed them each an application to fill out, along with an outline of the upcoming Gym Challenge.

“Please look over the application carefully and feel free to flip through the outline of Gym Challenge so you can familiarize yourselves on how we operate it.”

Juliet flipped through the application carefully, choosing to read over the contents first instead of filling it out right away. As the group fell into a comfortable silence and their noses were practically buried in the terms of service, they didn’t notice the person that came by to join them.

Even though he wore his signature fur lined red cape and his signature snap back on his head that never failed to turn people’s heads in his direction.

“Sorry I’m late! I took the wrong monorail on the way here.”

“It’s alright, Leon. Our new employees were just getting settled in.”

CLATTER

Leon. That name made all of them freeze. Juliet didn’t know which one of them dropped their clipboard and pen, but as if in tune with her teammates, they all raised their heads at the same time to look at the legend himself.

Champion Leon.

“L-L-L-L-Leon!” Mary, Vanquil, and Tessu shot up from their seats like a group of Spoinks, eyes sparkling with endless awe and excitement. Juliet watched in amusement as her friends stumbled over questions and compliments of admiration, but...shouldn’t she be sharing in the glee as well?

At least, that’s what she thought. Watching the Champion soak up the praise being sent in his direction, and seeing him smile through each question with ease – something about the scene felt...oddly familiar. But not familiar enough where she could pinpoint when and where the feeling came from.

Her shoulders tensed when his burning golden gaze fell on her. She felt...uneasy being stared at, especially by someone with a strong, overwhelming aura as his. Was he sizing her up? No, it didn’t look like it. His head cocked to the side and it looked like his eyes were searching for something. Then, his eyes lit up in recognition and the wide smile he sent her was all teeth.

“J, right?”

J? What kind of an alias was that? Juliet blinked confusingly. Her mind repeating that name over and over in her head, trying to pull up the memory of the name – if there was any at all.

J, J, J…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Right...Wait. What’s your name?”

“My name?”

“Yeah. You’re not wearing a name tag like your aunt is.”

“...Call me J.”

“J? That’s it?”

“Is that weird?”

“No! In that case, you can call me Lee.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Lee.” She blurted out. The memory that flashed in her mind was hazy, but there was no mistaking the foggy images of her helping at her aunt’s inn in Lavaridge Town, along with a purple-haired teen around her age, who was staying at the inn for a vacation. She could barely make out his toothy smile and youthful spirit, that seeing the teen mature into the man in front of her, made the memory feel more distant than ever.

“You remember too. I’m glad! Do you think you can tell me your name now?” Leon joked and outstretched his hand to her. Juliet looked down at his hand, trying to recollect the sudden wave of memories that washed over her. Where did they come from? And why did it take until now for her to remember them? She didn’t want to keep him hanging for long so she swallowed down the uncertainty before reaching out to shake his hand.

“It’s Juliet. Sorry for keeping you in the dark for so long-”

“Stooooooooooooop! Hold on!! You two know each other?!” Tessu interjected in between their handshake. Juliet scratched the side of her cheek and looked to the side sheepishly. ‘Know’ wasn’t the word she would use. Especially since it seemed like Leon had a better memory than her.

“Something like that. It felt like so long ago but, back when I used to help my aunt out at her inn, Leon and his family were on vacation and they stayed at the inn.”

“That’s right. I think I was around...16 maybe? I’ve never forgotten how hospitable your aunt was during our stay. Or how you almost beat me in a Pokemon battle.” The Champion laughed fondly at the memory.

She did? Oh boy, she really did have a bad memory to forget something like that.

“You almost beat the Champion of Galar in a battle?!” Vanquil gawked in disbelief. 

“And you didn’t put two and two together when we came to Galar?” Mary wondered, leaning against Juliet with a suspicious gleam in her eye. Juliet pushed back against her with a pout. Was now really the time to catch up?!

“Look, so much happened after that! I travelled around the world, met you three, came to Galar, etc. If I’m remembering correctly, Leon was a bit more scrawny and his hair was shorter back then.”

“I wasn’t that scrawny.” Leon retorted with a pout of his own.

“Well, it seems you’re all getting along better than I expected!” Rose’s chuckle snapped them back to the task at hand, making them pick up their neglected applications that were left on the ground.

That was...a bit embarrassing to say the least. But at the same time, reminiscing on one of the happier periods of her life, it brought back a youthful cheeriness that she hadn’t felt in years. It felt nostalgic. Refreshing even. Perhaps Leon had that effect on people. His positive and confident aura could pick people back up without needing to say a word.

No wonder he was so loved and looked up to like a King.

Even as the meeting continued without interruption, the Champion couldn’t help but steal a few glances in her direction. Anytime their gazes met, he’d shoot her a toothy grin, which she responded to with a sheepish smile. For what reason she didn’t know, but unlike earlier where she wanted to shrink from his gaze, his occasional glances felt comforting. 

Like a dandelion basking under the sun.

--

“You’re going to be working with Leon?!”

“Mind toning it down, Boss? The whole cafe doesn’t need to know.”

“But, I’m so jealous! If there’s one person I want to battle, it’s Leon!” Richard lamented dramatically as he stocked up the shelves and display cases with more pastries and coffee beans. Juliet leaned against the counter, allowing herself to recover from the end of the lunch rush and pouring herself a cup of tea.

“Maybe you’ll break the record for shortest Pokemon battle-” She said with a smug grin on her face. Her boss threw a dirty rag in her direction out of retaliation, but she caught it easily and tossed it into the sink. Still, she’d love to see such a battle.

“Are you sure you don’t want to take less shifts? Seems like a lot to juggle with being a Field Researcher and a co-host now,”

“It’ll be fine. There’s going to be gaps within each gym for challengers anyway especially since many of them are going to be exploring the Wild Area for the first time. Don’t worry about me, Boss.” Just as Richard opened his mouth to respond, the front door opened with the tell tale jingle of the bell above the door, signalling Juliet to bow politely to welcome the customer as she became accustomed to do as it was second nature.

“Welcome to the Battle Cafe! Are you interested-”

Juliet felt a sudden sense of unease wash over her. Black trench coat, a black baseball cap, dark sunglasses, and a white face mask. Did this man know it was the middle of summer? Or maybe it was a woman? She couldn’t tell how when their trench coat was consuming their body like a black hole. She didn’t mean to judge someone on appearance alone, but even her boss wore a face that told her he was suspicious and nervous too. Swallowing her anxiety, she stuttered,

“A-Are you interested in battling the Cafe Master for a complimentary Casteliastone if you win? Or would you like to make a regular order?”

The man approached the counter, drawing curious eyes to him as he searched through his trench coat for what she presumed to be his wallet. Or worse-

“I’ll take a regular coffee. One milk, one sugar.”

A normal order. Juliet let out a breath of relief she didn’t know she was keeping in. “That will be 250 Pokedollars, please. Can I get a name for the order?”

“...Dande.”

“Thank you, Dande. Your order will be served to the left of you.” As he walked past after giving her an affirmative nod, she could have swore she saw a flash of familiar purple hair from under his hat. She hummed curiously, narrowing her eyes at him to see if he would break under her persistent stare. Even when his head turned away, she could see the beads of sweat that were streaking down his copper skin.

Was it from the heat or her glare? Maybe both.

When she set down his finished drink and he reached out to grab it, she leaned over the counter and whispered, “You know it’s summer, right Leon?”

The man let out an exasperated sigh and lowered his sunglasses enough so she could see his familiar golden eyes. “And here I thought I had a good disguise.”

“Sure, if you want people to think you’re a serial killer or a drug dealer. I think you’re drawing more attention with this disguise than if you didn’t wear it at all.”

Leon laughed nervously at the few weird looks he was getting from the other patrons of the cafe.

“I see your point.”

Juliet rolled her eyes and untied her apron from her waist. It wouldn’t be a good idea for him to go back out into the sweltering heat without cooling down a bit first. She was technically off the clock now, so she’d put him out of his misery. “My shift is done now, but I’ll be hanging around in the back for a bit before going out, Boss.”

She came out from behind from the counter and beckoned Leon to follow her through the ‘Employees Only’ door, where a blast of cool air washed over their bodies. It wasn’t like the cafe itself didn’t have AC, but with the amount of hot drinks that are served and the cool air that escapes through the front door, it was only somewhat cool. Once the door closed, the Champion practically ripped off the trench coat and face mask, sighing with contentment at the AC air cooling the sweat off his neck.

“Thanks, but am I allowed to be back here?”

“It’s fine. Some regular customers like talking to me and when they have bad days, we talk back here on my breaks. My boss already knows and is cool with it especially since they leave big tips.” Juliet looked at his discarded trench coat that he left on the floor. “Just don’t steal anything.”

“Of course not. But, it looks like I’ll have to look into a different disguise.” Leon muttered.

“OR, you could just wear seasonal appropriate clothes like a normal person.”

“I wish I could, but it’s hard going out when you get stopped so often by fans...Not that I mind, it’s just...”

“You just want to be treated like a regular civilian?” Juliet finished for him as she plopped herself down on one of the spare cafe chairs. Leon followed suit and rubbed the back of his neck, his gaze fixed to the floor as if reluctant to admit to himself that, yes, he just wanted to be treated like a normal person instead of someone on top of an impossibly high pedestal.

“Yeah, something like that.”

She didn’t want to push him to reveal anything to her, but she thought it was a fitting opportunity to catch up with Leon in hopes of filling in the missing pieces of her foggy memory. She folded her arms over the table and looked at him with a carefree grin.

“So, how’s your brother? He was pretty small the last time I saw him.”

“He’s doing great! I’m actually going to surprise him and his best friend with their starter Pokemon next week along with endorsement letters for the Gym Challenge by yours truly.” His hesitant demeanour vanished, replaced with bright optimism from talking about his younger brother.

“Oho, looking to dethrone his older brother, huh?” Juliet teased lightly.

“It’s always been a dream of his and I’m excited to see how strong he’ll become. This year’s Gym Challenge is shaping up to be a game changer, I can feel it. Which means I have to train thrice as hard!” The Champion flexed his muscles for added flair, making the barista snort in her hand.

This was the Leon that everyone knew. The Undefeated Champion who answered the calls of anyone who dared challenge him. The Undefeated Champion who pushed himself to the limit, so challengers in turn, could push themselves. It was a wonder how he had so much determination, the courage to reach new heights and be one of the strongest of them all.

Strength...Something Juliet wished she had or at least, the bravery to acknowledge the strength she did have. What was it like? To believe in yourself and have the power to instill courage in everyone else? These were questions she couldn’t ask him, at least not right now.

Whatever the answers to those questions were, she did know one thing – seeing the Champion of Galar give it his all for his family, friends, and fans, to push the boundaries and prove to everyone what he was made of,

She was going to do the same.

Then, hopefully one day, she’ll be able to look at herself in the mirror and say,

“I’m strong and I’m proud of myself.”

“So, you’ve moved to Galar, huh?” Leon noted after taking a sip from his coffee. 

“Yup. That’s partially thanks to Professor Magnolia for hiring my team as Field Researchers after seeing how capable we are in Max Raids.” It was a humble brag, but a brag nonetheless, and she’ll always feel thankful for the opportunity. 

“Chairman Rose filled me in about that and I couldn’t help but watch some of your Raids afterwards. They’re a lot different from competitive battling, but you guys look like you’re having a lot of fun and I’ve learned a lot from just watching.” Leon pulled out his Rotom phone and opened up the recent Raid they did against the Dragapult. 

Ah.

The Dragapult they ended up naming Dragon Lord, much to Magnolia’s amusement.

“This is probably my favourite Raid your team did. As a proud owner of a Dragapult myself, they’re pretty resilient to deal with.”

“You can say that again. Dragon Darts is such a pain.”

“Heh. Viable move when you’re the one using it, though.” Leon’s eye then wandered around the staff room of the Battle Cafe, skimming through the shelves of coffee beans and other stock items. “I guess it doesn’t really surprise me that you’re working here too. You’ve always been a hard worker.”

Juliet grinned gently. He really paid attention to little details about people, huh?

“I thought it would be good to get a side-job to get to know the locals since we didn’t know anyone upon moving here. Ease ourselves into Galar society, you know?”

“And, how’s that working out?”

“Pretty much settled in at this point! Though, I’m still on the fence about using Galarian slang every day like ‘lad’ or ‘mate’...” She grimaced. “...It sounds wrong when I say it.”

“Pft! Of all the things to struggle with. Come on, it can’t be that bad. Try it out on me.” Leon egged her on teasingly, casually leaning his cheek on a propped up hand. 

Seriously? 

Juliet stiffened considerably and her face looked like she sucked on 50 lemons from how scrunched up it was. “H-Hey, mate. H-How’s it going…?”

…

The Champion stifled a snort in his hand, but he couldn’t exactly hide the chuckles that followed right after. He had forgotten how funny and silly she was, enjoying the moment of carefree laughter despite how disapprovingly she glared at him. “I think you should stick with what you’re used to.”

“Haha, laugh it up.”

They hadn’t realized how long they were spending just talking. Getting each other up to speed about what the other had been doing, sharing stories about their travels, talking about their Pokemon – there were no shortages of things to talk about when each conversation jumped from topic to topic, neither Leon or Juliet losing interest in each other's stories.

Only the sound of a cup shattering to the ground could cut through their conversation. Their heads whipped around to see Richard with his jaw dropped, and a broken cup of tea by his feet.

“You were talking to Champion Leon this entire time and didn’t invite me?!”