#feeling Insane and also Deranged

[love-songs-for-emma]

how do i turn off this awful new feature on tumblr mobile (android user, US) where you're shown a random reblog comment sometimes below a post???

[evelynpr]

Hoyoverse's children in a nutshell

Fly me 2 the moon: First and oldest child, long gone RIP. Their legacy is having the first ever Kiana Kaslana

Zombiegal Kawaii: basically dead, hardly anyone even knew about her

Houkai Gakuen 2 (aka Gun Girls Z; GGZ): Next child, oldest, small and niche but dedicated fanbase, still going in CN server. Very gay and depressing, incredibly convoluted lore.

Honkai Impact 3rd: Took after GGZ a lot then became the favorite child. Still gay and depressing but more hopeful. Definitely a lesbian. They also really like flashy combat, philosophy, and science fiction.

Genshin Impact: The popular kid, and spoiled brat. They're very bisexual and very into religious themes and every culture and myth imaginable.

Tears of Themis: Probably the only cishet male child. Their fans are fewer but well fed and satisfied. (I dont know nearly enough about their story and themes to know its personality tho)

Honkai Star Rail: Takes a lot from big sis hi3rd (depressed but hopeful gays), and probably genderfluid. Ppl love it, theyre popular but it doesnt get into their head as much compared to Genshin. They're also really into exposed shoulders and internet memes.

Zenless Zone Zero: New kid on the block with furries and cyborgs. They are the youngest, most punk, and definitely into western action rpgs more than their older siblings.

[stormyoceans]

jimmy walking up on set every single day just reinventing the way humans can look at another with a love so palpable and plain to see it drives people to the brink of suicide (it's me. im people)

[sourcedecay]

Matched with someone with ‘ofos femme 4 butch’ in her tinder bio like eleven days ago and she messaged me right after we matched but I didn’t have the app downloaded at the time so I didn’t see it for like four days, and I messaged her immediately when I saw it but she hasn’t replied and it’s been like a week 😭 needless to say she’s living rent free in my mind

[politemagic]

dabbling in writing a little bit of slasher iii👀 it's not much, but i've had this idea for months and figured it's about time i did something with it. written while listening to deadrose by unprocessed. not necessary but it's currently topping my slasher iii song list

632 words

Time had muddled in their brain, they had no idea how long it had been since he’d disappeared from their sight, but they knew they were running out of time regardless. The rope binding their limbs had been tied with expert hands. As they struggled against their bonds, the rope’s grip only tightened, the fibers rubbing their wrists and ankles raw until it began to turn pink with their blood. Their eyes frantically searched the room for anything that might help them escape, but they found little that could be of assistance. 

The room he imprisoned them in was almost entirely bare, save for a pile of discarded, bloody clothing heaped into the corner and the black journal the masked man always carried with him. When he left the room, the journal had fallen from his pocket, haphazardly forgotten by the door.

Their curious nature overtook them as they scooted across the grimy floor, nudging the cover open with their toe. Their blood ran ice cold as a pair of vibrant blue eyes stared back at them from the first page. A photograph of a handsome man was paperclipped to the page, partially obscuring what they knew were the events of the final hours of that man’s life. They felt bile creep up their throat as their eyes scanned across the page.

17:43 He believes crying will help him, that his tears will compel me to release him. It’s pathetic, really. I thought he would be stronger. But the tears make his eyes look so pretty, maybe I’ll keep him a little longer.

The horrors of the first page had done nothing to prepare them for the next, as they found those same vibrant blue eyes staring back at them, cold and devoid of life. They tried not to stare too long at dark red blood oozing from the gaping wound in his throat. The pages that followed were all the same format: a photograph of some poor unfortunate soul accompanied by a horrifically detailed account of their final moments, followed by another photo of their corpse. On some pages, he had even smeared blood across the page in vaguely artistic patterns. 

As they flipped the final page, they bit down on their lip to stifle their scream as their own face smiled back from this book of horrors. Despite his poor attempt to crop the image before printing it, they could tell it was a screenshot from their Instagram, a photo they had posted in a moment of self-confidence. A photo that this deranged man would use to remember them by, a juxtaposition for the horrific photo they knew would occupy the next page soon enough.

The door creaked open, and they lifted their gaze from the photo to meet his darkened eyes, crinkled from the grin he hid beneath his mask.

“I see you’ve found my scrapbook,” The smile in his voice told them that he had always intended to drop the journal, that he wanted them to read it, to see what was in store for them. 

He crouched before them, plucking the journal off the floor and thumbing through the pages before returning to the image of the blue-eyed man. He stroked the image tenderly with his index finger before turning it around to once again display the image of his lifeless corpse.

“He’s still my favorite, I think. But you… I believe you’ll be a close second,” His other hand gently traced the contours of their jaw. “You’re going to be my masterpiece, darling.”

He stood then, chuckling to himself as he tucked the book underneath his arm and spun on his heels, striding back out the door as they crumpled to the ground, terrified of what other sick games he might be playing with them.

[basofy]

ive never talked about their dynamic but this is one of the many thoughts i have about them

[narwhalandchill]

wait aint no fucking way an actual genshin loretuber even jokingly acknowledged the rabbit hole insanity that is childe 3rd descender theories what the fuck.

is it finally legal for me to break my self imposed silence on the subject without publicly and shamefully removing all my credibility on genshin lore. please please . this is a super fucking vulnerable moment for me guysssss

(under read more bc full disclosure 100% i Will embarrass myself here. this is NOT on my top of the line Childe Theories And Analysis That I Will Defend In Court Under My Legal Name if Questioned list please understand. this is way more self indulgent and wildly speculative for me as much as i do Genuinely see there being a ground for the theory to stand on. ik when im off to the deep end JKWDKJJKWDJKWD)

like seriously be Aware this WILL be a complete mess btw you have all been warned so like no refunds accepted. if youd like to keep an image of me in your head where i am even slightly respectable and realistic when it comes to my theories please stay there. in the light. where the sun shines.

......

...

so. you have chosen death. o7

ok firstly. YES i KNOWW childe 3rd descender theory is batshit stuff thats Why i havent said shit abt it all this time bc i do Not trust myself to be truly objective on the subject bc i Want the theory to be real so bad so its like of course ill readily disregard all other possible candidates for 3rd descender bc bias. and also see it as more plausible that ajax has sth to do w that and make connections more readily. than any lore enthused person existing without his continued rent free existence in their brain for the last 3+ years. so like. yes. listen. i Know i know its prolly not real. but also i must # speak my truth .

anyway the vid didnt even fully touch on all the like. shady fucking shit when it comes to the Curious coincidences. bc like. so firstly the star thing and connections w childe

so wei did bring up the whole . ajax is released on patch 1.1 called "a new star approaches" (and also polar star is his sig) . except like Theres More bc while i was researching random childe brain rot stuff (sadly dont remember/have a link to where i first saw it) . that title in CN is even more pointedly About ajax bc apparently its about a "guest star". and a guest star again according to that post at least is specifically considered an omen of bad luck in chinese astrology. a guest star approaching = a disaster approaching. like mayhaps a ginger guy resurrecting osial or something . huh . maybe ajax Is the guestpilled starmaxxer in that title. the approacherrrrrr, even

secondly. there are some well hidden references to ajax As A Star in the fontaine AQ too. bc the act III where we go looking for him after he goes missing is called "to the stars shining in the depths" except again i have found a source (yes no link to it saved once again my bad) that its titled "to the morning star in the deep water" in chinese. which is again star singular. curious

then theres the act III official description. that goes "the moment it seized its destiny, the star quietly fell from its lofty perch". and like idk abt yall but if its fontaine AQ act III and you ask me WHOS out there seizing their destiny of all things. It Seems Somewhat Plausible To Argue that its PROBABLY referring to the guy thats out there getting teleported to the primordial sea to face the creature thats Literally etched into the stars as his constellation. like . i have a very Difficult time trying to see the star that is seizing its destiny at this moment as Anyone but him reuniting w the narwhal for the first time in a decade and his 1st thought is to throw hands JKJKWDJKWDJKWDJK

(also. "fell from its lofty perch". fell from where. falling towards where. mayhaps even................ descending?????? if Seizing your destiny is taking your fate into your own hands.... a star that Falls from its perch.... that Descends after seizing its destiny....... Curious is all i will say. hey guys do you think your vision would mayhaps begin rejecting you if you start seizing ur own destiny and thus failing to follow the "duty" of predestined fate that same vision had bestowed upon you. guys do you think a star that seizes its destiny and falls from its lofty perch would get vision error 404. guys----)

also this is a smaller thing bc i think ascension mat theories are largely fringe and not that reliable (ning guizhong reincarnation "theories" ThoseWhoKnow) but i do think it can be acknowledged as a sort of. Extension to all these curious references to stars and being A Star when it comes to childe. he does use Star Conches for ascension . so like it can be a little extra on top of the other more serious more Professionally Certified star things hoyo is curiously attaching to him

so like . a star. a star also being a thing the traveler is repeatedly called. its so quirky that this pattern continues. so thats one thing

oh and also. if childes the non-descender (bc he clearly hasnt regained that status Yet) reincarnated soul of the 3rd descender.

you know what. a dead star. if its massive enough. like perhaps massive enough in some genshin metaphysical fantasy way. to be a star that counts as a descender with a will that rivals a world. if a heavy enough. star. dies. you know. you know what they turn into---

[THERE IS A MAD GLEAM IN MY EYES. YOU HEAR BOSS MUSIC.]

Anyway Hello Dear Reader Of Mine Humble Blog Would You Like To Spare A Moment To Discuss How The All-Devouring Narwhal That Consumes Any And All Stellar Object Coming Into Its Orbit Also Known As Ajax' Reflection In Teyvat's Skies Is Essentially A Sentient Living Black Hole And How A Black Hole Is Formed When A Star Dies? No? Okay.

like wouldnt it be super fucking funny if the constellation of the dead descenders reincarnated soul is a creature that for all intents and purposes is a black hole. like. a dead star. wouldnt that be funny

and before you ask. yes i have thoughts that would make ajax & narwhal are soulmates slash halves of the same entity that remains fully compatible with the 3rd descender brainrot but i. will Not subject you people to that. theres "respectably self aware insane theory i indulge in but know the limitations of" and then theres "jens top 10 personal jenshin impact plot twist wishlist please fulfill mr dawei pwease i swear itll be peak" like ffs. it might seem otherwise given the words i am saying right now but i do have Some propriety

the divine halberd was shattered into NINE piece---- (GUNSHOT)

whoa. what a loser high on her own hopium i wonder who that was. good thing the snipers got her ass there

back to your regularly scheduled programming. obviously theres other things that would very conveniently be explained by this 3rd descender shit as well like. dead eyes. soul of a dead descender thats in Literal Pieces body wise. the dead star that carries a curse above ground upon first making contact with the truth of his being aka post abyss training camp post meeting his mirror imaged destiny in his narwhal. a curse like mayhaps bringing chaos whenever he goes. an incompatibility with the world. drawing everything into his orbit being the eye of the storm or perhaps... the Singularity???? the event horizon??? a source of endless unrest and disaster........ just like the curse of a gnosis TEE HEE .

anyway super funny how that goes. and then another thing wei didnt really. fully go into is naturally the

(DEEP BREATH)

3rd son of his family with 3 older siblings and 3 younger siblings 3rd limited character ever released with 3 names and the 3rd weekly boss with 3 phases each representing 3 unique sources of power (vision, delusion and foul legacy) a 3 petaled symbol aka the triquetra of riptide and six in-game constellations divided into 3 subgroups with 3 unique prefixes (foul legacy, abyssal mayhem, havoc in eng) 3 days missing from teyvat and 3 months spent in abyss is 3rd to wield foul legacy after surtalogi and skirk

also the first character to receive a 3rd rateup banner ANYWAY (also the possible. is the 3rd reincarnation of the original ajax thing. but yeas)

[Me When I'm In A Be Suspiciously Associated With The Number 3 Competition And My Opponent Is Childe Ajax Tartaglia]

isnt it just silly. how many times it comes up. Nobody talk to meeeee its so over

theres prolly some other things too that i have driven myself to madness with when thinking abt this but idr em right now and like . not like this is any manner of serious respectable theory anyway sooooooooo

anyway ill stop embarrassing myself now. like as i said i have been legally forcing myself into silence on this bc listen. i KNOW this is bullshit i KNOW im a deranged biased childe main who will do Anything just to cook up a fantasy version of genshins endgame lore where My Dude is at the center stage and gets to be a massive fucking deal yes 100% deserve to be disqualified on account of terminal stage blorbo bias when it comes to theories on the subject i just. the fact that this is the FIRST time i see Any loretuber person acknowledge the theory. i just had to come in here and let it be known that. Yes. ive been seeing this shit and thinking abt it SINCE 4.2 dropped since that stupid fucking note about forsaking the self and being reborn in the abyss as a holy infant or a primordial human or a descender and that somehow Thats called Ajax. of all things. its horribleeee it eats me alive

[zeldasadork]

how do the mounders get even better every session. what the heck. if my creative niche were writing instead of art it would be all over for you guys

[mozart-the-meerkitten]

Watching people freak out over the Percy Jackson tv show and talk about what they liked/didn't like and what the writers kept and left out of the show is really giving me perspective on what a rabid and insane Wingfeather Saga fan I am because they sound like me whenever I start talking about it. All of them. The good, the bad and the ugly, I am all of these reactions and more. I am insane, totally obsessed, hyperfixated, and overly paranoid. Possibly deranged.

On the other hand, listening to all these people rant and rave (in good and bad ways) about the show is making me feel much more normal about my Wingfeather obsession. xD

[spiritualviolation]

god, sometimes i really wanna know what goes on in enoch's head while 2-3 is happening

like. you concoct this very detailed plan for about a year. it's absurd because it involves the lead coroner of scotland yard herself and a piece of history that no one would think to connect because it's a tenuous link not even most of the public know. but it's because the concept is absurd, and the trust the public have in the coroner itself is great that they wouldn't think she'd purposefully fabricate an autopsy report (ignoring the fabrication in klint's autopsy since that is COMPLETELY out of public knowledge at the time). and to top it off, it perfectly lays the blame on the person you're constructing the machine for, without you being considered since the 'culprit' would've been obvious.

and then this japanese law student just goes into court, with the sheer determination of defending said person's innocence no matter the cost, just fucking unravels it all, even down to the very detail of every reasoning behind every action that you'd thought no one would get. like, seriously, if he wasn't correct, he would've sounded absolutely fucking crazy! but he is correct on every point, thus tearing apart your plan that you've devised for an entire year.

no wonder enoch exponentially got pissed as the trial went on, like. case 2-3 is fucking batshit INSANE the longer you think about it

[konshokoentaiko]

i always thought i was a very typical enemies to lovers girlie but i think i just realized my actual taste in ships is the dynamic where the two are supposedly equal rivals/enemies who represent diametrically opposed themes (for the Aesthetic), but in actuality it’s just one of them yanking the other around on a chain while the other whines and rages and protests and ultimately makes an absolute spectacle of themselves

so uhhh. how did THAT happen and when and why

[peachcitt]

oh my god last night i got way too into fall out boy lore and then dumped it all on anna. she went to bed halfway through my incoherent babbling and now she’s gonna wake up to see all the insane things i said

[stormyoceans]

can you believe that js were sulking at each other before shooting LT? at least aof did us good and made them not only stop sulking but also that they couldn't stop kissing each other's cheeks after his pairing counseling

imagine you're p'aof. you are an esteemed and renowned director in the industry with years of experience behind you. you are ready to start the workshop for your new series when your two lead actors walk through the doors and tell you they are sulking at each other. they're not angry, because that would be too normal. no, they're SULKING. they both feel hurt and want the other to approach them to make things right but neither of them are quite ready to make the first move yet because they're afraid that, if they were to be honest, they'd lose their relationship. you know this because they ask you to mediate between them. so you, p'aof, renowned and esteemed director as we've previously established, sit them down and use your years of experience to help them open up and communicate honestly

by the end of it they're crying and hugging and kissing each other's on the cheek. they never quite stop doing it after that. you text your fellow friend and director who has previously worked with them on another project and ask him if that's normal. the answer you get is 'lol yeah they do be like that. good luck xoxo'. you decide to take a break from directing for the foreseeable future

P'AOF TRULY THE STRONGEST OF SOLDIERS I WOULDN'T HAVE COME OUT OF THAT WITH MY SANITY STILL INTACT TBH

[midnightdemonhunter]

a lover and a......not lover.

[pitchblackkoi]

no one asked and yet i continue to deliver. i have another short tidbit from my p5 rwby au.

[nulltune]

STOP CALLING HAKUNO STUPID OR ILL CRY

NOOOO TSUN DONT CRY IF U CRY I CRY 🥺🥺😭 HDKCJSKGKD BUT- I CAN'T NOT CALL HAKUNO STUPID?? IT'S ONLY EVER OUT OF LOVE THO I PROMMY...!!!!!! my beautiful beautiful moon wife that is also the stupidest binch ever.....🥺🫶