#feel the beat of your soul
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Well, at least Fukuzawa got his wish granted, I guess.... he's finally inside Fukuchi <3
#bungou stray dogs#bsd spoilers#bsd 120.5#please laugh i know i made myself laugh.... if only to keep from crying lol#the oocification of Fukuzawa will be studied in the history books for years to come#that's not my fukuzawa...... that's his discount twin fucksack#because his dick is so far up the ass of his dead pathetic dumbass crusty ex boyfriend it's not even funny#he is dickriding that fucker HARD#and here i thought the FANDOM woobified fukuchi out the wazoo. but oh my god no fukuzawa himself has them all beat this chapter#man is coco for cocopuffs and babying that grown-ass man like he's 5#it's truly pathetic and depressing to see i'm just beyond words#'you deceived him by keeping quiet the issues that would plague a union of mankind' NO??? LITERALLY ANYONE WITH A BRAIN WOULD KNOW#THAT THAT WOULD NEVER FUCKING WORK???? THAT IT'S THE STUPIDEST MOST NAIVE PLAN AND VIEW OF THE WORLD IMAGINABLE????#WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE THIS IS A TODDLER INSTEAD OF A GROWN-ASS SOLDIER WITH YEARS OF MILITARY EXPERIENCE#Fyodor feels like the only one at this point that hasn't truly lost the plot in all this...... the only one with a goddamn brain#I HATE THAT I HAVE TO AGREE WITH HIM!!!!!!!!! I HATE THAT IT FELT SO CATHARTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!#and i hate even more that the series clearly doesn't want us to agree with him and instead believe that fukuzawa is still right#even though he was spouting the most naive braindead bullshit imaginable that early series Fukuzawa would NEVER SAY#WHAT ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN BRO??? WHY DO YOU CARE MORE ABOUT DEFENDING THE HONOR OF THAT CRUSTY MF THAN#THE SAFETY OF YOUR KIDS????#WHERE DID ALL YOUR INTELLIGENCE GO#i fucking hated the writing ever since fukuchi's plan/motives were first revealed and it was played completely straight (and gay lol)#but to hear fukuzawa actually come out and defend that ridiculous bs is just.......... again i have no words#it's insane. what happened. what happened to you fukuzawa. all i can do is laugh it's so sad it's so stupid. I WAS CRINGING SO BAD.#and was so glad when he finally died so he finally SHUT THE FUCK UP. i hate it here. i miss when BSD was good so bad man 😭😭😭#it would be one thing if it felt like he's so deep in grief that he's completely deluded himself that fukuchi was right and had pure motive#and wasn't an idiotic piece of shit himself just like fyodor#but nah again it just feels like we're supposed to side with him lmao even though fyodor was exactly right in everything he said#when your villain sounds more intelligent/correct than your hero and that's not an intentional writing choice..... that's not good bros!!!#anyway may your stupidity be purified in the soul of your dead bf fukuzawa 🙏 and we get the true you back
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NoooOOOOOOO MORVAY NOT AGAIN!!! Two haloween s?? When will you be freee!! 💦💦💦
MR FATHER PLE AXSSE
#poor morb. glutton for punishment. and aster's just giggling elsewhere#tryna stick candy into Dante's mouth#bAFFLED by this character combination#how did dante get lured into the torture chambers with the 3 old men?#why is the eiden doll stressed?#is this a We Don't Know How to Deal With Our Burgeoning Feelings of Love session#so they all beat on an effigy of their target#in an effort to sort out their complicated feelings about eiden#or is eiden. like. legit trapped in the body of a plushie#just for this one experience. you know. like experiencing all the horrors and pains of getting stabbed by flaming scissors#but not actually experiencing harm to your real physical body#that's sufficiently spooky for a hallows eve brouhaha is it not?#-evil words by ancient fox man#did they just steal one of Blade's eiden plushies. inject it with eiden's soul#then start smacking it like a pinata#topper would never let that happen!!! I'm sure actual eiden is not trapped in the doll! probably!!#can't believe this is the only time rei and kuya are cooperating with each other...#bunch of tsunderes beating up an eiden doll...#ok BUT WHERE IS THE BLOOD FROM#turns out they were all just butchering an entire wild boar together#um. new sleepover activity i guess
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okay but once AGAIN: the Bennet sisters are not actually a united front, nor do they share a close bond. It’s shocking how divided and splintered they are (symptom of the house they grew up in.)
#I never stop beating this dead horse I’m so sorry.#but it’s just like. yeah that’s sweet that Rosamund pike enjoyed playing a bunch of sisters she was close to.#but literally …… not …… canon ……. behavior.#Lizzy and Jane are friends. Kitty and Lydia are inseparable.#when Lydia separates herself Kitty gets sort of adopted#and Mary is unfortunately the odd duck out#and that’s just the way it is. (also I refuse to feel false sympathy for Mary.) (a sentimentality beyond my powers or desire)!#‘I want to hear more about Mary Bennet! what’s her story!’ is an insane take to me#Mary is a silly (and stubborn in her silliness) side character. maybe she grows up one day maybe she doesn’t#it isn’t my business nor the readers#I do think it’s funny and yes a little cruel how Mr. Bennet insists on including her in his list of silly daughters#it’s a failing on his part. as is his disdain/amusement at any of his daughters#but you know WHAT. he isn’t wrong#Mary wished to say something sensible but knew not how Bennet is not a tortured side character with a lonely soul.#she’s a 19 year old in a very foolish stage#she’s also vain!#like girl. literally no one wants your concertos here#sorry you have such unhelpful parents but like …
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I think what's funny about MAWS S1 is how the build up to the show's attempt at allegory for xenophobia don't really affect Clark's character that much. His anguish before he fights Parasitezilla is due to the general's exposition holograms, and it ends up feeling that stuff was just there to set up Lois's speech. Also, I just find it funny how the show had Ma Kent take the time to knit the shorts- not a whole suit, just shorts.
Exactly! I've said that this show has a "short term memory loss" problem where it slaps on a theme to a series of disparate events and doesn't go back to check if those scenes reinforced the theme they were leading up to. Parasitezilla/Ivo's motivation as a villain is unrelated to xenophobia and makes no sense (we can't trust Superman, he's some nice stranger! Unlike me who will provide self defense suits you'll have to pay to use, therefore you'll be more,,, trustworthy somehow? Because you paid a product to protect others and yourself? Never mind that his tech made no sense either I could go on about how awful their Parasite is). It makes it so Clark (or his friends) don't actually go through character development. Stuff just happened.
Haha I think it's so funny that people praise Ma Kent for adding the red underwear because on a meta commentary scale it's a return to form to have Supes in the red trunks again- but like in the context of MAWS Ma Kent was a total freak for doing that! Clark was gifted with a suit from an essentially dead culture and Ma Kent's first reaction is hmm I'm gonna add red underwear on this sacred dead foreign culture's outfit. It's clear the writers wanted to have their cake and eat it too- they wanted that magical girl transformation scene where the Kryptonians bestow an outfit onto Clark, but they're attached to Ma Kent sewing the outfit too so this was their compromise. Freak Ma Kent lol
#askjesncin#jesncin talks maws#if you turn your brain on and really pay attention to the motivations of characters and what they're saying. the show makes no sense#I've talked about how Lois' dark night of the soul moment in S1 was nothing burger in the Lois essay. the writers knew that narrative beat-#-was needed but when they tried to write what Lois was regretful of they had nothing specific to say#genuinely the writers feel like they haven't taken a writing class even when I know that's not true
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i haven't even seen the episode yet, but learning about the fact that they didn't include such an essential aspect of the story is making me feel so irrationally sad
#letters from stephanie*#idk maybe it isn't essential maybe it's just too important to me... but without it you take away so much from lila...#she's not a crazy person that is too enigmatic for the audience to understand... lila is the character you feel in your soul#not explain in a few sentences. there is no Grand Secret of Lila to be revealed. you feel her or you don't and that's it.#yeah this is my hot take on lila. if the main takeaway is that she's a mysterious madwoman you're treating her the same#way all those men did. why can't we just feel things why does it have to be written in big shining letters#to be considered real and human. idk idk idk#she is surrealism the spirit of surrealism packed in a person and i think that is the truth of life. to misunderstand this is to completely#miss the point of lila as a character#which is that we as humans invent shapes to store the incomprehensible in and in that we take away from the reality of life#the raw beating heart of life. lila cerullo who has spent her life in one place who didn't get to go to school#understood and saw this beating heart of the universe and while studying history of her city she gets to...#extend the logic of it to the whole universe. she recognises these historical facts within her own being#she finds her daughter in these stories and she runs to her. i am so upset about this#i have to watch the episode though i can't betray my fundamental belief that you have to face life no matter what#ferranteposting#l'amica geniale#s4 spoilers#my brilliant friend spoilers#lila cerullo 🫀
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noah caldwell-gervais is the only motherfucker to have ever been correct about dark souls and elden rings' difficulty. no one else understands
#oops. rant ->#they aren't about overcoming some incredible struggle in order to prove yourself as an insane upper echelon Gamer#they're about allowing the player to create a victory that feels satisfying to them#either by mastering the mechanics#using your brain and coming up with a strategy that works#or just getting some friends to help beat it into the ground#saying “sekiro is designed to teach you that mechanical mastery is sometimes required for victory” is just completely the wrong way around#sekiro exists for the people that preferred to use mechanical mastery to beat dark souls!!!#cause fromsoft went “that's pretty fun may as well make a game based around that”#it doesn't fucking exist so that people play it and go “ah yes this is the way fromsoft intends us to play their other games”#spirit summons in ER exist so that they can create more aggressive bosses without leaving a bunch of players unable to beat the game!!!#like you can like or dislike that game design decision#disliking it is a fair opinion to hold#I kinda dislike it. I don't like rellana as a boss cause she feels reliant on it#but saying that it's bad cause “it teaches you to play the game badly” is so stupid#like it lets you beat the game. what more do you want#the criticism you're looking for is “I dislike it cause I don't like playing the game that way and find it less fun”#which is totally valid and I kinda agree!#but as someone who prefers to fight bosses solo by mastering the mechanics:#stop acting like “fighting bosses solo by mastering the mechanics” is the objectively correct way to play#and deciding that because you play that way all of your critiques are the most valid#and accept you maybe just disagree with some of fromsoft's design choices for ER.#it's fine. you can still like the game. it's okay
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i like the concept of a huskerdust overlord!husk au but like. it is very much just being sold to one direction
#random thoughts#hell#it's why i prefer it being a fantasy angel has rather than like. a full on au#it just FEELS like a very self indulgent fantasy which he wouldn't want to happen in real life for a variety of reasons#mostly being it seems like a lot of people make husk like? VERY protective of angel in their aus#which of course in canon angel would object to because he doesn't like being seen as someone who needs to be protected#he desires agency! he wants the room to make his own choices and not have others make them for him!#and he especially doesn't want other people coddling him and viewing him as inherently weak due to his occupation/trauma/whatever#which is why i think it'd be cute if he fantasizes about husk being protective of him :]#also the whole scenario is very. it just feels like a fantasy he would have as a result of valentino's abuse#like he's fantasizing about someone he knows and cares about taking the role of his abuser#to have someone in his life who holds that same power over him yet he does not fear#since he's in a part of his life where he can't imagine possibly escaping valentino#i bet he fantasizes about husk winning his contract and then setting him free#angel is allowed to have a little lack of agency in his fantasies. as a treat#also there's some darker fantasies thrown in there still centering husk which he probably feels very weird about#immediately he feels VERY guilty and then the guilt wears off and eye contact with husk just feels weird for like a week#if husk were to ever even be aware of the general concept of angel's fantasies i think he'd go in a#in like a stolitz direction? like how the latest episode of helluva boss made stolas and blitzo equals in terms of status for the first time#like husk would own angel's contract and then he'd lose his soul to alastor OH MY GOD#HE WOULD JUST FANTASIZE ABOUT HIM BEING IN ALASTOR'S SHOES#LIKE HOW IN DAD BEAT DAD HUSK TRIES TO GO 'your soul is owned too' AND THEN ALASTOR GETS HIS ASS#god i can make this au SO about their own respective traumas#he'd fantasize about owning angel's contract and then he loses his soul to alastor and now he and angel are roughly equals#and then they comfort each otherrrr#very like. one-note soft comfort fantasy. he's a simple guy
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#funny how you can feel like your heartache is healing nicely and then you do something that just rips the scab completely off#and it’s like you’re back to square one#shaking and sobbing#and using up all your tissues in one sitting#feeling thrown away abd beating yourself up for driving her to to the point of needing to throw you away for both your own good#ten years we were together#a third of our lives#a decade’s worth of love turned to poison in your veins#in your heart and soul#and the secobd longest relationship i’ve ever had only lasted 2 weeks#ya it’s just part of life#and it will make good times feel so much more significant#but that does jack shit for me right now
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wip wednesday
peek at the start of the 7th chapter/epilogue of rage, where i get to see how Tesoro & Elena are doing [spoiler: Tesoro aint doing so hot]
“Feeling sorry for yourself all on your lonesome Cavallero?”
Trust Elena to be the first one to find him and his one man pity party, hidden away on the roof of the gym. He didn't move his gaze from the skyline as she sat down on sun warmed stone next to him, too exhausted to even muster up a twitch of his lips in greeting.
Pages turn, and he realizes his mistake as Elena picks up his discarded sketchbook, a sharp intake of breath as his hopes that she wouldn't see his latest sketches were dashed.
Dragging his eyes away from their city to the offending page, his eyes once again took in the images that had been lingering in his mind, and the pencil sketches that were his attempted exorcism.
“I’ll always be envious of your visual memory, your ability to hold onto what you see and draw it with such accuracy,”
Celia, wounds still raw on her face, an expression of fear and shock on her face as she stared out of the page, accusatory and taken aback, rough pencil marks only heightening the emotions on her face, rough featureless figures crowding around her.
“You shouldn't be,”
#gold & silver#thebirdwrites#tesoro#maría elena#Artist Tesoro my beloved<3#Tesoros fresh outta juvie and just beat a kid his age half to death#not doing so hot is a gross fucking understatement#here we can see Tesoro bad habit no 1. feeling soul-crushingly guilty after he did something he didnt fucking need to do#but never learning from that and not doing similar shit in the future#i find him deeply compelling as a character but also. hes so fucking awful!!!#You beat up a kid who was screwed over and took it out on Celia to 'defend' her???#or do you really mean because you pride yourself on being able to protect your own and he threatened that & so threatened your masculinity🤨#and you justify acting like the people you hate 'to protect your friends' and so Celia getting hurt means you failed that#and Celia being scared of you means you failed again#bless Elena for not shoving him of the roof shes been dealing with his bs for yearrrs#hes 16 freshly traumatized from juvie and his friend was drafted into the violent bs thats fucked him up as petty power play bc he got#told to take the fall by another guy bc he wouldnt get deported and could get a lighter sentence#so i will give him a tinyy bit of grace. hes lashing out at the only acceptable target bc he cant hurt the people who really caused all thi#but also. dick fucking move#anyway if you read all of this im sorry and i hope it makes any sense
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When Winston Graham wrote in Poldark, The Four Swans, "Love is not a possession to hoard. You give it away. It's a blessing and a balm."
#you know when you read a line somewhere—in a book or a fic or a film—and it just sums up your whole heart around something?#it's like your very soul beats in resonance with just one simple phrase and you're hit by the realization:#“yes. THIS is what i was feeling about love all along yet i didn't have the words to explain it.”#thank you writers—published or otherwise—for putting our feelings into words!#poldark#winston graham#writer stuff
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I need you
#desire#lust#deep#sexy#thought#meaning#intimacy#passion#passionate couple#need you#kiss me#feel you#rhythm#heart beating#breathe#souls#you and me#me and you#yours#quote#black and white
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youtube
UNDER THE TREE || SiM
#mind: eren ( singularity point )#『 feel the beat with your soul // music 』#『 see the beauty // aesthetics 』
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I think what really makes The Poughkeepsie Tapes work is that every actor puts an effort into making their character seem like a real person. Even if they have maybe two lines and are onscreen for a thirty seconds, it comes across that this character has a whole life outside this interview.
#the poughkeepsie tapes#i dunno#maybe that's just me#i know it's a polarizing film but honestly i think it's great#i like a movie that makes you feel like complete absolute garbage by the end#puts your soul through the wringer then beats it with a crowbar#sometimes that's just what you need
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if i ever have to play beyond two souls again im going to kill someone someone’s life ends with me
#the thing about achivement hunting is that it will either prove to you how much you love a game. or make you hate it forever.#like. assassin’s creed origins? i have a platinum in that and i never want to touch it again it was so boring and bad and by the end i was#in pain trying to finish it#mass effect trilogy? i had to beat all three games on insanity and it made me feel cool as fuck when i did. the little bit of grinding in#me1 at the end for power trophies was worth that sense of accomplishment. they’re damn good games.#beyond two souls? i have had to replay black sun. 11 times. at least. trying to see all the fucking endings. because my game wont register#that i have despite having seen all of them. I MIGHT HAVE TO REPLAY IT AGAIN. I HATE THIS FUCKING GAME. I WANT TO BE FREE.#no one is makingnme do this i just like number go up#but if i ever met david cage ill kill him with chainsaws#im so sorry elliot page but i dont want to see your face again for like a year im so tired#like this experience Has let me appreciate some parts of the story that i think were genuinely good ans critique other bits in new ways.#but then i had to experience both of those things like 4 more times in a row. and i want to scream
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Day three of holding everyone’s laundry hostage until my father takes a shower.
The last of my father’s beloved white socks have fallen to the filth. There is little hope, and even less in terms of rest. The battle is ongoing, and it feels often that I am fighting alone. Morale is low; my ally in this conflict, mother, is injured. I long for the days when I can rest. When this war will cease, and all will be clean again. The dishes done, the people bathed, the laundry washed and folded. Alas. We know the struggle will never end.
I am Sisyphus, and my father’s horrid stench and apathy are forever my boulder.
My father is a war profiteer, and I am a hapless young recruit greeting a doomed mission.
Last shower date: December 25th, 2023
#collective tag#it spoke#i’m venting#but like… only half serious#god I am so so so so tired.#I’m so pissed man#at just. everything#this house is falling apart around me and It’s like I can’t do anything#I have begged and begged and begged this fucking man to take a goddamn shower.#I cry about this#because he just doesn’t fucking care#I CANT DO EVERYTHING!!!!!#NOT FOREVER#huge ass ants everywhere? sure. fuck it. why not#piles and piles of laundry? okay. I can do that.#not paying the mortgage until our shit gets shut down and mom and I yell at you?#cooking halfassed meals that are only barely tolerable to you and inedible to everyone else#and then complaining when we don’t eat them despite how much we’ve all told you?#and leaving the whole kitchen to rot?#PISSING YOURSELF REPEATEDLY AND NOT CHANGING YOUR PANTS BECAUSE YOU DONT FEEL LIKE IT AND NEVER SHOWERING FOR MONTHS ON END?#I’m just… words cannot describe how tired I am right now.#mom has a broken foot too so I also have to take care of her even more than normal#how did baby me handle this all the time on top of school?#‘yeah sure i can take care of two fucked up angry disabled adults on top of my crippling childhood trauma and schoolwork!’#—>#‘I swear to fucking god I will telepathically make my heart stop beating by sheer force of fucking will if I hear you call for me again’#deepest apologies to any poor soul that reads this#i really just needed to cry and scream and cry harder again until I throw up#and maybe a hug
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Mike johnson has so god damn much blood on his hands, obviously Ukrainian blood, but also plenty of American blood
Refusing to renew something that helps vets exposed to atomic blast and Americans who were downwind of the fall out... it's just sick. I can't fucking stand mike johnson, he's one of the worst scum to ever be in congress, and that's fucking saying something
"Johnson refused to allow House members to vote on bipartisan legislation to renew and improve the program"
Fucking quivering little pimple seems to have a real MO for just wringing his hands while insisting it's not his fault, he just can't do the one fucking part of his job of putting shit up to a vote... oh boo hoo, so sad, he'll just have to unilaterally let funding expire on things instead of literally just putting it up to our elected representatives to see if they want to vote yay or nay
Single handedly make the choices but it's not his fault when they work out how they do
Murderer
#I'm sorry; I both genuinely hate the man and will never forgive him; so seeing this just adds more fuel to that fire#and I'm also genuinely pissed to hear that we aren't gonna be bothering to fucking help out people we fucked over#it's fucking sick#listen; I try not to talk politics too much and I try not to tell people how to vote cause it's not really my business#and cause I don't like arguing with people on tumblr; waste of my time#but for all the dems many many many many many fucking flaws; it's shit like this that makes me hate the gop#every last line about sticking up for rural or poor people or whatever is such a fucking lie#god bless our troops... unless it would cost money to compensate them for making them stand near atomic detonations#at every turn I see fucking simple easy decent bipartisan policy shot down but fuckers like johnson; who is the gop at this point#fuck em; can't stand em#go fucking vote if you can in whatever country you're in; try and get a mail in ballot for your sake#I'm still not gonna tell you how to vote but uh... maybe keep in mind when someone's hands are fucking caked in blood#and keep in mind what kind of company people keep in their political party#fucking murder#cause inaction is murder as sure as if he stood their and kept them from getting treatment directly#removing the funding to let these people get cancers and stuff operated on#it's the same as murder#and again; that's not even going back to him personally; like literally it was just him and him alone#holding up aid to Ukraine for months because he refused to put it to the floor#where... oh look... once it was put to the floor it passed just fine (with a fucking tiktok ban added)#(hate that site but I hate government overreach with this kinda shit more)#one of the few people in this world I think I actually truly hate#I'm never gonna fucking stomach the 'he was so brave for holding a vote' shit lie#bullshit; if he had a spine or a soul he would have brought Ukraine aid to the floor before funding ran out#just like if he had a spine or a soul he'd have brought this radiation victim funding to the floor before it ran out#almost like there's a fucking pattern here of him squirming like a pus filled pimple simpering about how he just can't do his job#can't do the one fucking thing he's supposed to do and bring shit to the floor for a vote#I have more opinions on him; but if I said how I really feel right now I think it would get me put on a list#and... sadly just cause of who I am; if I were in a room alone with him I think I'd just lay into him instead of beating his ass#but he's a fucking monster and reading this story just now... I'm almost seeing red with how much it's pissing me off
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