#feel like i just ran a marathon (galvanized)

[wookieejamcrew]

I also do not know how the nsfw ask game works but let me in brendol’s head

enter freely and of your own free will 🚪

afterwards — what kind(s) of aftercare do they like being given? do they like giving their partner aftercare? do they fall asleep quickly after sex?

baths, both giving and receiving. i imagine comfort and warmth are things brendol isn’t used to accompanying violence, and he subconsciously seeks security and protection. baths are great conduits for these things, especially when your partner gets in with you :) also for a space!catholic such as he, a cleansing of sin. 

beg — do they like making their partner(s) beg? do they like begging their partner?

again, both! this guy desperately wants to feel wanted and used useful.

body — what is their favorite body part of theirs? of their partner(s)’? are there any specific body parts they like to pay special attention to (ex. feet, hands, ass, etc)? where are their erogenous zones? where are they most sensitive?

his neck, and once he gets over himself his ass. he’s probably self-conscious about his paunch, so affording it attention in a direction either reverent or degrading would definitely get him going. 

clothing — do they like to have sex fully or partially clothed, or do they prefer having sex naked? would they ever move an article of clothing aside for stimulation/penetration (ex. pulling their panties to the side for penetrative sex)?

uniform on until, again, he gets over himself, but it is very much part of the play, too. the moment he leans into (the humiliation of) feeling vulnerable while naked is when he reaches total nirvana.

cum — how long does it take to make them cum? do they have any kinks relating to cum? do they like when their partner(s) cum(s) inside them? do they like cumming inside their partner(s)? do they like when their partner(s) cum on any of their body parts? do they like cumming on any of their partner(s)’ body parts?

with lots of focus and discipline i think his inquisitor friend can help him crack this nut so he doesn't crack his nut on immediate genital contact. i will say though, brendol's pull-out game is probably abysmal post-grand inquisitor. you have him to blame for all of armitage hux's future crimes.

delay — do they like having their orgasm delayed/denied? do they like delaying/denying their partner(s)’ orgasm?

BIG TIME. a moment alone with the grand inquisitor is already finite and fleeting, any opportunity to stretch out time enjoying each other is a must. and he loves watching the grand inquisitor be tormented just as much as he loves the grand inquisitor tormenting him <3

dirty talk — are they turned on by dirty talk? turned off by dirty talk? is there anything they like their partner(s) to appeal to when talking dirty with them?

EXCEEDINGLY so. this is like his big thing. depending on which role brendol takes what night, he adores degradation; as a recipient it’s lots of invocations of his wife, how she would react to her husband’s “true nature”, how embarrassed and disgusted she would be to find out what brendol really likes (more on that later). while he’s taking a more dominant role with the grand inquisitor, he often calls him some variation of jedi (i.e. jedi bitch, jedi slut, filthy jedi, good jedi, ect.)  

drive — how high is their sex drive? are they hyposexual, hypersexual, or somewhere in between? does it change depending on the circumstance? how often do they have sex?

libido for days, spay and neuter your commandants!!!!! i have clearly thought a lot about the state of brendol’s paraphilias and want to get more into in fic (through no admission by brendol ofc, no, but he’s got a very smarty-pants partner with high-octane psychic powers so let’s play with that). i’ve written him as someone who has still has sex outside of both maratelle and the grand inquisitor, which plays into a D/s dynamic with the latter, but i imagine the grand inquisitor, insecure wretch that he is, having brendol eventually cut ties with all other partners barring maratelle.

dynamic — are they dominant? do they like to be dominated? how do they show their dominance? how do they show their partner(s) they want to be dominated? are they more versatile or does it depend on the context/their partner(s)?

switch of all switches. his dominant half is pure artifice, however. it serves him to feel validated in his role as a commandant, something i believe he is actually quite unconfident about. i hc that maratelle helped secure him his position in the empire, and that will always needle at him despite her multitude of reassurances he’s as skilled, nay more skilled, than his peers (he knows sweet talk when he hears it). and on the subject of his position in the military, he served under jedi while he was a junior officer in the GAR, and now he’s got a disgraced jedi under him. come on, how could he not power trip over that. now brendol in subspace is brendol at his most blissed out. stripped of all showmanship, it’s a place to lay his weary bones (+ singular bone, hehe). it’s exhausting to lead, let alone lead as a patriarch playing paragon, it’s exhausting hiding from yourself. brendol also does not know how to ask for what he really wants. it’s too shameful, too damning to admit he's not, and has no true desire to be the imperial ubermensch. fortunately for him his partner is not only a literal mind reader, but can pick up body language in a matter of seconds <333

eyes — do they like to be watched while they’re having sex? do they like to watch others having sex?

yup :) he wants to be seen, in every sense of the word, even if that want exists in the dark recesses of his mind manor. he also loooooves watching his partner come undone, knowing he’s responsible for their exposure. i have a hard time imagining him really enjoying watching his partner with someone else, but it's certainly a "gift" the grand inquisitor would spring on him unannounced 😬 "here's a purge trooper! we can play with him in whatever configuration delights you :) happy birthday~"

fantasy — do they have any sexual fantasies they’d like to try out? have they ever gotten to act on a sexual fantasy?

oml how much time do you have. religious fantasies are up there for him, think religious figurehead and confessor type scenes, loads of blasphemy. playing as prey/predator in the wild outdoors under cover of fog is another one. harkening back to his GAR days, he loves fantasizing about fucking a jedi as an officer (both imperial and republic). liege and his loyal knight. repopulating the inquisitorius. xenoplay (i.e officer stationed on utapau taking up with a pau’an native). being watched by maratelle while the grand inquisitor doms/tops him. schoolboy (read: cadet) “tested” for project harvester. this guy's laundry list is infinite, he has an imagination as active as his appetite. if you’ve pictured it, so has he. 

g-spot — do they like g-spot/p-spot stimulation? do they prefer giving or receiving it, or does it depend on their partner(s)? do they like to stimulate the area with toys?

yes to prostate stimulation, both giving and receiving. he has large imitation pearls he loves to use on the grand inquisitor. he has a tail plug for himself. 

hair — do they shave or wax? do they let their hair grow out?

not monstrously hairy, but significantly hairy and that’s how his inquisitor likes it so that’s how he stays. maratelle doesn’t have a preference for body hair on men, but does have him shave/trim his beard. he keeps the hair on his head as long as imperial standard allows for men so the grand inquisitor can tug and manipulate him by it at his leisure.

humiliation — do they like being humiliated or degraded? is there anything specific they like being humiliated or degraded for? do they like humiliating or degrading their partner(s)?

YES. middle name, humiliation. brendol humiliation hux. if wendig has given the world anything, it’s this canonical facet of brendol’s character. see the dirty talk answer for what sort of filth brendol likes to roll around in. in chapter six of harbor, i had him discover in real time how much the act of public humiliation works him up. being made comparable to a dog or an animal will also put him in a state of  🫖💨 . 

impact — do they like spanking/being spanked? whipping/being whipped? hitting/being hit? any other kind of impact play not listed here?

all of the above. there’s a before brendol realizes he's a glutton for punishment and an after, and the demarcation in that pre- and post- brendol takes the shape of the grand inquisitor. peace, love, and diplopod prods on planet arkanis. also fists and feet (punching and kicking) (thank you, empire’s end) and belts.

kink — what are their kinks? do they have a primary kink? are there any kinks they’d be interested in trying? are there any kinks they don’t like or aren’t interested in trying?

*unfurls a comically long scroll* breeding, ageplay, petplay, service submission kink (cannot overstate how much the brenquisitor scene in secret academy is textbook service submission. brendol immediately falling into the role of emasculated manservant after rae beats him, having been confined for years -  unhappily, mind you! - to a dominant, commanding role, then is ecstatic to be on the receiving end of orders/tasks.  canonically the last time he serviced anyone like that was the grand inquisitor, an explicitly named sadist who smiles hungrily at him after he is wined and dined……….) and bootblacking. primal play, too, lol.

lingerie — do they own lingerie? if so, how often do they wear it? what kind of lingerie do they like to wear the most? do they like when their partners wear lingerie for them?

maratelle does! and the grand inquisitor likes putting brendol in it :)

location — where do they like to have sex the most? would they ever have sex in a ‘risky’ place (ex. in the office, closet, public bathroom, etc)?

brendol’s quarters for the most part. it’s their refuge, their little paradiso with a nice view from his big balcony overlooking arkanis’s bloodthirsty ocean. but they get around the academy, too; the thought of being caught excites him precisely because keeping his affairs bottled up just builds an insane amount of tension. outdoors where he hunts with the grand inquisitor, ravished on the moors, rain beating down on him (this man decorates his chambers in nostalgia and i'm expected to believe he isn’t a raging romantic???)

lube — do they use lube during sex? how much of it? do they like flavored lube and/or lube that brings particular sensations? can they become naturally lubricated enough to not need lube during sex?

he loves anal so lube is a must. 

marks — do they like being marked? do they like marking their partners?

the pain junkie who proffers himself to the strongest, most commanding presence in the room? noooooooo. (i love imagining their first bite as an elevated kiss. violence is an intimate experience to brendol. this being the one impulse brendol coaxes from the grand inquisitor, it being a gentle and intimate invitation to claim and consume him is so the type of ante he’d love to up in the bedroom, but also he’s a swooning sap.) OH and ciggara burns. 

music — do they like to play music while having sex? what kind of music? is the music for vibes, aesthetic, or simply to drown out the sounds they and their partner(s) make (or even a mix of all three)?

the sounds of the waves and the rain are stimulating enough 🥰 maybe some postcoital jazz jizz

names — do they like being called names in the bedroom? if so, what kind of names? are they pet names or are they names to appeal to a praise/humiliation kink? do they like calling their partner(s) names in the bedroom? do they have a daddy/mommy kink?

commandant/sir/master as a dom. my boy/my man/pet as a sub. and yes, he does call the grand inquisitor daddy. the man with a thousand daddy issues he bequeathed unto to his son. please contain your shock. 

orgasm — how would their partner(s) know if they orgasm? what is their orgasm reaction like? are they sensitive after having an orgasm? what is the most effective way to get them to quickly orgasm?

🍦 🥧 s. during the start of a sexual relationship he masks as mascly as he can - groaning, growling, gutteral, stifled sounds. if he’s with a partner who makes him feel comfortable with being sincere, he moans at a higher register. prostate stimulation and anal play will do it for him pretty quickly. a choice set of words/phrases/names can get him there, too. a tell-tale sign he's climaxed (besides literally unloading) is how he full-body shudders.

positions — what are their favorite sex positions? do they have a singular favorite sex position? are there any positions they would like to try? are there any positions they don’t like?

on 🔝 it’s mating press and pretzel dip. he also loves being ridden (cowgirl? diplopod…girl???). when he’s bottoming, prone bone, standard missionary (he likes flashing those forget-me-nots up at his top), and spooning. and for either, bent over his desk or his balcony. 

praise — do they like being praised? is there anything specific they like being praised for? do they like praising their partner(s)?

as a dom, top, or bottom, yes please. being told how good he works it, that he’s the perfect size and shape for his partner is also primo. less so as a sub, but if his dom’s timing is right, then 🛎️🛎️🛎️🛎️. 

queen — are they a size queen? do they prefer length, girth, or both? do they like textures?

giiiiiirl. he is a changed man after the grand inquisitor, which is to say, yup, lol. length>>>>>>

restraint — do they like being restrained? do they like restraining their partner(s)? are they into softer bondage or more hardcore BDSM?

when it comes to rope, he’s the rigger, full stop. he takes too much pride in his art to relinquish that role. the inquisitorius most certainly has an arsenal of restraints though, probably an x-frame adjacent device he wouldn't mind being strapped to ;)

sensation — do any specific sensations turn them on? are they into hot wax? ice? tickling? specific textures? anything else not listed here?

electric stimulation (diplopod prods 🖤🖤🖤) and whatever escalates the enduring arms race that is this man’s pleasure center. 

sexting — do they like sexting their partner(s)? do they ever send nudes? do they like receiving nudes? do they find sexting more or less difficult/fun than curating sexual experiences in real life? are they any different while sexting than they are during real life sexual experiences?

this is very funny to consider in star wars because holos??? encrypted comms??? channels dedicated to dirty talk??? d) all of the above. 

size — how big are their genitals? what cup size are they? what are their body measurements?

a healthy 3.5~ inches flaccid. 5~ erect. 

sounds — what sounds do they make during sex? do they laugh a lot during sex? are they chatty during sex?

see the orgasm answer. under the right conditions a big moaner, big panter. during petplay he’s instructed to only make dog sounds. so let your imagination run ragged, lol.

stimulation — how do they prefer to be stimulated? do they like being given handjobs? do they like being fingered? do they like being given oral? is/are there any specific spot(s) on their body they like being stimulated the most? where do they like to stimulate their partner(s)?

any anal play does the job. he loves giving head, foodie that he is, LMAO. 

strip — does your muse like stripping for their partner(s)? do they like when their partner(s) strip(s) for them? do they like their partner(s) stripping them naked? do they like to strip their partner(s) naked?

strip him naked, PLEASE. this man is too chickenshit to get naked first. also yes to strip teases from his partners while he lounges like a despot sipping his port. super gender affirming. YOU'RE SO THE MAN, BRENDOL 🙄

style — do they like it rough? do they like it soft? do they prefer fucking or making love? do they like a hard and fast pace, a slow and gentle pace, or does it vary/depend on the situation?

que sera sera, whatever the mood calls for! brendol is very aroused by power and strength, so hard and fast to keep pace with his intended, or just to show off what a biiiiig strong force of nature he is. he likes slowing things down when he needs to be reminded he’s cared for and protected by his partner.

top or bottom — are they more of a top or a bottom, or are they more versatile? does it depend on their partner(s)? do they like penetrating or being penetrated more? do they like giving oral or receiving oral more? do they like stimulating or being stimulated more?

probably a 70/30 top (still running the numbers 🧮). sometimes he wishes that 30 were a 50, but i think he overestimates himself as well as the grand inquisitor’s taste for topping, lol. 

tease — do they like teasing their partner(s)? do they like being teased? how do they like to tease/be teased?

he prefers to be teased. he snaps when the grand inquisitor gets handsy in public with him *gestures to the infamous buffer seat*, but it’s all smoke in mirrors, he loves to protest and be pried outta his shell.

toys — do they own sex toys? how often do they use them? do they prefer using them on themselves or their partner(s)?

see the g-spot answer. + shock collars ⚡⚡⚡ 

turn on — what turns them on?

being referred to by his title, being reminded of his station. being told he's good (preferred nouns attached to good being the above petnames). power, strength, the masculine ideal, being beaten down and reminded he is not the masculine ideal. being used, feeling useful, being someone's useful tool.

volume — are they loud, quiet, or somewhere in between during sex? do they get louder over time? are there any activities that affect their volume during sex? do they prefer a loud or quiet partner?

🔊4📢 !!!!! when the grand inquisitor takes the lead, he works brendol up to a nice, noisy volume, then hits him with the “do you want your entire academy to hear what a piggish little wanton they serve?” he loves it :) 

wet — do they like bath/shower sex? would they have sex in other bodies of water (pool, lake, ocean, etc)?

i mean...arkanis. its charm point is its cruel, undulating, untameable sea. those are like...brendol’s favorite things, how could he not. well, pretty easily actually, since it’s littered with ravenous monsters eager to gobble up anyone stupid enough to even order a sex on the beach. SHAME he doesn't have an APEX PREDATOR of a paramour to shoo them away. (yes, he has on at least one occasion used arkanis’s ocean like a motel water bed) 

[hiatuswhore]

Brother

With all the madness going around with the Dread Doctors, my pack had put themselves at a distance. I'm not upset though if things were normal someone would have noticed by now that something was off. Liam hadn't gotten off my case nonetheless but with Hayden being possibly killed he stopped hovering as much.

Having Scott, Lydia, Stiles, and the others in my life was an adjustment. Becoming my family I was only use to it just being my brother and I. All my life he was all I had, all I know. As Damon attended Devenford Prep I went to Beacon Hills. He knew about supernatural though as you had befriended Liam and the McCall pack, he had befriended Brett and the Satomi pack. Like typical fraternal twins my brother and I were heading in very different directions.

"You okay?" Looking up from my food I jumped at his sudden presence. Standing there fringing worry he was quite the actor, "Mind if I join?"

"Not really," I said, running my eyes sleep had been evading me. It was becoming a real game of cat and mouse.

"You look uh-tired?" Theo said, chuckling at his hesitance I could not help but roll my eyes.

"Yeah," I said, looking away from Theo’s observant gaze. All my friends were scattered in the lunchroom. Liam with Hayden, Corey, and Mason. Scott and Lydia, Stiles by himself, Kira nowhere to be seen and Malia by herself. We were split not just as friends but as family. Sharing glances amongst each other we all looked away.

"We need to get everyone back together," Theo said but his words lacked sincerity. Looking up at him with narrowed eyes he looked confused.

"You're an ass you know that?" I asked but he continued his facade, "Don't play dumb it doesn't suit you."

Just like that his confused innocent expression easily became a smirk. Had I not been observant I would have found him attractive, "What are you playing at?"

"Oh come on we both know about your little friends. Starts with Dread and they dabble in a science called Chimeras," I said, shifting uncomfortable Theo grabbed my forearm pulling me out of the lunchroom. In the deserted hall pushing me against the lockers it was now me smirking.

"You're being all nonchalant why?" He asked only centimetres from my own face. Hearing his heart beating insanely he was nervous and every second of it felt amazing.

"Simple if I say anything everyone will just look at me like Stiles. I'll be at a disadvantage and any disagreement or suspicion of you will be assumed to be a silly conspiracy conjured by Stiles," I explained brushing my noes against him the ball was in my court, "I have all the answers one slip up and I bury you Raeken."

"Oh really so why don't you tell your friend what you dream about? Don't worry you'll need me, you'll need answers," He asked reclaiming power of the situation. Glancing at my lips he was tempting me and I needed to keep reminding myself he was the enemy. My mouth running dry I found myself glancing at his lips as well. Chuckling he brushed his nose against my own, “Tell me Lacoss you dream about anything else? Anyone else? Ever dream about me?”

Closing my eyes taking a breath my hormones were almost distracting me from a very important fact. How did he know about those dreams about-them? Taking a deep breath as I pulled myself together I opened my eyes. Looking at him he was hot, but I am no fool. Pushing past him I could hear him laugh and your chemosignals were off the charts. The mix of being annoyed and galvanized. Storming down the hall walking past Liam I could see his frown as I ignored him. Ironic for me to be his anchor when half the I struggle keeping my own feelings in check. I hate to admit it but Theo has gotten in my head. People flooding the halls with classes switching cut Liam off from getting to me as I stood in the middle of the hall falling apart as everyone was clearing out as soon as they entered.

“Oh really so why don't you tell your friends what you dream about?" Like they did the nights I tried to sleep the flashes of them rang through clouding my vision. With them came a horrid sound that brought a pain like no other. Bringing my hands to my ears the feeling was near crippling. Losing my balance letting out a small whimper the flashes were always in the same order. None of them answered any of the questions they created.

"Miss Lacoss!" Hearing Coach Finstock the hallway looked fuzzy. Despite feeling him helping me up he sounded so far away. My brother left school to come get me. Returning back to school leaving me home sleep was inconsistent. Sleeping for twenty minutes I was sitting awake for thirty minutes in between each cat nap. Checking my phone school was over and I had texts from Liam and Damon. Damon letting you know he was with his friends while Liam was worried  about you. Underneath the two of them though say the snake emoji. Not opening the message he was still in your head.

"-you'll need me. You'll need answers," His words were troubling but it triggered my curious nature. Going to Scott’s number there was no way he would listen and going to Stiles would do nothing. The thought of turning to Theo felt naive. Sound of knocking pulling me from my thoughts flooded my senses. Damon was rarely ever home and the house was typically quiet. Walking down the stairs I relaxed as the familiar scent hit my nose. Standing there Liam visibly relaxed as I came into view

"What was that in the hall?" He asked, looking at him I hadn’t told anyone about the vision. Considering lying to him he made it easy for me to stir the conversation away from the topic, "What's going on with you and Theo?"

Leaning on the side of the doorway I couldn’t fight the smirk growing on my face, "Do my ears deceive me or did you just sound extremely jealous?"

"You ignored my question," Liam said leaning on the same wall as I was. Turning my head our noses bumped as challenged each other.

"You ignored my question," I whispered, grinning as we were just as close as I was Theo. Rather than feeling tense with Liam it was different. The banter always light-hearted. Deja vu fell over me as he glanced at my lips. Leaning in closer to me I pressed my forehead to his own halting his actions, "I think you're forgetting something Dunbar."

"What?" He asked entranced by you. It felt like the doorway held an invisible barrier but it was actually in the shape of a teenager girl.

"Not what. Who. H, A, Y, D, E, N," I spelled out slowly in a whisper for a second he seemed to be lost in thought. Backing away he said nothing as he walked away from me almost like a zombie. Watching him disappear from view I could only imagine what he was thinking. Getting back into bed the vision returned and left with various levels of severity. Waking from the final one I sighed in defeat as I grabbed my phone. The screen making me cringe as it was the only source of light in my room. Finding the snake emoji within my contacts it only rang twice before he picked up.

"Where and when?" Is all I asked and he chuckled relishing in a small victory but there was so much to come.

"I told you that you would need me," He said, rolling my eyes, “In thirty minutes just get in your car and drive."

"Wha-?" I asked but the line cut, not changing out of my cupcake pajamas pants I put on my dark grey hoodie. Doing as he said as I got in my car at first I was confused, just making random turns as I pleased I don’t know when but I had zoned out. Coming to a stop I found myself at the cemetery. Standing not too far off was Theo. Parking the car things were only getting creepier by the second, maybe this is how I die is all I could wonder.

"Faster than I thought," He said, walking over to him as I shoved him back he only smirked.

"What the hell?" I exclaimed gesturing to the cemetery.

"Look I know it's a bit morbid but trust me all your answers are here," He said, walking into the cemetery I watched him as he was obviously expecting me to follow. Checking my phone the signal was weak I am many things but not stupid. Sending Liam a text it was cryptic but should definitely be enough.

TR. 3:47 am Delivered

Following Theo's barely visible figure I sighed as my phone lost all service. It felt colder as we walked and the quiet hum of nature left an eerie build up as if something malevolent was waiting for me. The walk lasted about thirteen minutes as I had started counting. Despite the time we were a little far from where my car was parked. Seeing him come to a halt I joined him, ahead of us were no graves but a vast grass clearing and some trees.

"Why are we here?" I asked, looking at Theo who pointed toward the tree. Walking across the grass Theo was quiet at first until we neared the tree.

"Go touch it then I'll explain," He said, walking slowly toward the tree it looked old. The roots were fully branched out and attached to the ground. While the body would likely be nearly impossible to cut. Slowly reaching out you clinched as your palm connected with the tree. As nothing happened you looked back at Theo who was only smirking. Taking your hand from the tree that ear splitting noise was returning except this time it was different.

"Brother help what am I?" Flinching as Theo returned to my view it felt as if I had ran a marathon. It looked like my brother and I, but we were dressed as if it was the medieval times. We both had English accents.

"What was that? I saw myself and Damon but we were different," I explained unable to put what I had just seen into words. Theo said nothing as he walked around the tree but there was a plaque, Santora's.

"Her name was Amara she's been dead over several years ago along with her brother August. Amara and Augustine Santora, they were twins and orphans. Murdered at sixteen they were just regular village children," Theo explained but it didn’t explain why they had my face-or why I had theirs. Walking back toward the graveyard he stopped as an old plaque blocked our path, Perino Family, Touch the plaque."

Theo watched as I slowly crouched down. Placing my hand flat on the plaque I sighed as the searing pain was returning but it wasn't nearly as bad as the nightly visions.

"Let her go! Aspen!" Hearing someone yell I jumped back as I watched as the unknown person tear into the girl who looked just like me. Watching the man bleed her dry the fear in her eyes soon turned to nothing.

"Aspen and Beckham Perino. Both murdered, were twins and orphaned. Just common villagers murdered at twenty-four," Theo explained and I began catching the pattern but it still explained nothing. Walking again and I followed him until we stopped at a tomb stone. 'Xandra and Xander Marcantel 1843.' Touching their tombstone and began again another vision.

"Careful friend we must all bow to my spoiled brat of a twin sister," I watched as she giggled at her brother and for the first time vision wasn't dark and demented. They were much like Damon and I with the playful banter.

"Xandra and Xander Marcantel. Orphans adopted into a rich family actually lived quite some time. Xandra fell for and married James Marcantel the family's son. Xandra and Xander were murdered though at the age thirty-seven. Had kids and was happy but still ended the same," Theo explained and I shifted uncomfortably as it started to seem like a happy ending. Walking again at the next stop the tombstone read, 'Virginia and John Alder 1900-1948.' Touching the tombstone what was once searing pain felt like a mere pinch.

"Stop moping over some silly girl and have fun John all the real boozes are gonna be gone soon brother," I watched as she danced happily having a good time.

"Virginia Alder full of love and fun lived long married and had children. John Alder spent his entire life watching after his wild sister, married, and had kids. Both grew up orphans, and murdered at the age forty-eight," Theo explained and I sighed as this pattern was becoming predictable. As he started walking I followed silently. All the backgrounds mirrored my own and these people, we all share a face. So far into thought as Theo came to a halt there was no tombstone. Looking around there were only fleshly dug holes.

"What the-?" I began, looking down into it but as I turned Theo jammed a syringe into my throat. The initial pain was nothing but as spots started dancing in my vision as I stumbled back I fell. Falling into one of the holes I could see Theo looking down at me.

"Don't worry Lacoss you've got time on your side once Liam breaks Scott down I'm gonna need some way to get him to leave Scott for dead," Theo said and the last thing I saw was dirt being thrown down on me as darkness took over.

"What the hell?" I exclaimed as I gasped awake, the hole seemed shallower. Dirt falling from out of my hair the night seemed lighter somehow

"Watch your language darling," Looking over I realized it was all of them Amara, Aspen, Xandra, and Virginia.

"Where's my brother?" I asked and they all chuckled.

"Don't worry love he's with himself just like you are," Amara said and I looked at them confused.

"So we’re all like doppelgangers or something?" I asked and they all laughed.

"No we’re you," Xandra said laughing and I looked at them with wild eyes.

"Oh sweety relax they're just teasing. Don't worry we've all gone through this. You're immortal (Y/n), the pain you feel will subside when you let us in. We're you're past lives and when you die you'll join us and help us in our next life," Virginia explained and I began backing up from yourselves? Clutching my head all the memories began to flow through each and everyone one of them.  All of it rushing back at once each death, each marriage, each child, each life.

"(Y/n) I'm here. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," choking as my throat felt as if it was cluttered.

"Liam?" I questioned he chuckled squeezing me into a hug. I began to cry remembering each of my deaths and realizing I was just in a grave made for me. Getting home I didn't care about what Theo did, or what happened to the pack just one person. As he stood clearly registering as well you both stared at each other stuck.

"So? Should I call you Amara, Aspen, Xandra, Virginia or is your name in this life okay?" He asked trying to lighten the mood and I smiled happy his personality after each life hadn't changed him. Smiling my chuckle turning into a cry as he pulled me into a hug.

"How many deaths will we live until we truly die brother?"

[jamesv-t]

Crowdsourcing my runs

Over the last few weeks, I've hit a bit of a creative slump with regards to my running. In the absence of parkrun and the social aspect therein, I've been doing the same routes and getting bored of it. I decided to shake things up a bit and ask my friends on social media to choose for me. A soft launch on Twitter using a carefully selected series of polls (to prevent people telling me to run a marathon in 20 minutes) kicked things off.

Manipulating polls to get the results I wanted

The week after, I tried Instagram, giving followers who cared enough to interact with my stories the choice of a fast and flat run, or hills (hills hills). Unsurprisingly they picked the hills, with a follow-up question seeing 2/3rds choose hill repeats over one big hill in a poorly worded question. Due to wanting a beer on a Saturday night, I elected to do these the morning after watching the film/war-crime Cats, but on the bright side after three 2km reps up a steep hill my hangover was gone! With a nice 2k to get there warming me up (and down afterwards), and the hill being a kilometre high, it was a great route to discover for the future.

So, with a bit of success from these, I opened things up to user submissions. Knowing that they'd probably send me on a route that includes Land's End, John O'Groats, Mordor, Atlantis and Venus, I kept things simple and asked for music submissions. The rules included one track per person, and outlawed any repeats. I also pledged to listen in the order of submission to avoid any suggestions I was adjusting the playlist to make it easier on me. I also privately promised to run for the entire length of the playlist - had I admitted this, I could pinpoint exactly who would submit the longest song they could find just for a laugh (and one of them couched their suggestion with "the longest version of this song you can find", proving me right).

I was nervous about it, especially knowing what the second song was, and only familiar with about a quarter of the songs submitted. How would they fare as running songs? How would they hold up as songs at all? How far would I have to run? Where is the love? Do they know it's Christmas? D'ya know what I mean?

1. MØL - Bruma 

Straight in with something new, a shoegazey metal band from Denmark! If the two coffees to start the day hadn't woken me up already, this definitely would have done. I really liked it, it reminded me of Arch Enemy and I'm going to check out more of their work later this week.

Song: 8/10

Suitability as a running soundtrack: 10/10

2. Crazy Frog - Axel F

And the first of the troll submissions. (To be fair, with the amount of shots I've taken at Swindon Town on Twitter, I deserved it.) This started as a "grit your teeth and pray for it to end" song but the steady beat and 80s synths really helped me click into my pace - it's just a shame about the ringtone championing amphibian singing all over it! 

Song: 3/10

Running: 8/10 (I'll add the original to my regular running playlists)

3. Bastille - Joy

Any song after the preceding one would be a blessing, but this just clicked with me. Maybe it was seeing the sun breaking through the clouds above the piers, maybe it was just the general pleasantness of the song, but it definitely uplifted my spirits ahead of what could turn out to be a gruelling run. 

Song: 8/10

Running: 8/10

4. Bill Withers - Lovely Day

And another nice song. A steady beat, a song that moves along at a fair clip, it was a surprise that I found it so easy to run to but I'm pleased it was added. I don't know that it would've clicked quite as much if it had been chucking it down but it really was a lovely day for running!

Song: 10/10

Running: 7/10

5. Vidiots - Dog Rap

I was nervous about this song to start with. I had absolutely no idea what to expect and was slightly scared of what I would have to listen to. Luckily, within about 10 seconds I realised it was exactly the sort of rap parody you'd see on SNL or an episode of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, and I had a great time with it! I did have trouble keeping my cadence to it, unfortunately.

Song: 7/10

Running: 6/10

6. Turbowolf - Domino

I won't lie, I was half hoping that this would be a metal cover of a Jessie J song. It wasn't, but that wasn't much of a detriment - just three minutes of full on rock 'n' roll, and another band I'll check out more of later!

Song: 9/10

Running: 8/10

7. Rammstein - Deutschland

Finally, a familiar song! I've run to this track before, and it's not the only one of theirs that I've run to, so I could relax into the run a bit easier. I really should remember that my mask blocks infection but not my voice, as I think I scared other runners by singing along.

Song: 10/10

Running: 9/10

8. Das Sound Machine - World Championship Finale

And from a German band to a faux-German group, performing a mash-up of Fall Out Boy and DJ Khaled. While I didn't enjoy the Pitch Perfect movies as much as people expected, this was a clever combination of two songs I was vaguely familiar with, didn't overstay its welcome, and even raised a smile!

Song: 7/10

Running: 5/10

9. Brothers Osborne - It Ain't My Fault

Again, more expectations of pop song covers dashed, but even though this isn't a countrified Zara Larsson song it still rocked! A good steady beat, it reminded me of a train but that may have been because I was running next to a railway line! Another pleasant discovery. I realised at this point that this was also probably the most different male vocalists I'd listened to in succession in years.

Song: 9/10

Running: 7/10

10. HUNGER - Light It Up

Knowing the musical overlap I have with Elise, I was surprised to hear a(nother) male vocalist on this track. It was great despite that, the song reminded me of a third act heroic run in a teen movie, which really boosted my serotonin.

Song: 8/10

Running: 8/10

11. Prince - When Doves Cry

The first of three submissions from the same person, and reluctantly the only one I could keep. It's to my shame that I forget how good a musician Prince was, and this was a welcome reprise. It soundtracked the portion of my run along the western arm of Brighton Marina, and reminded me of that beautiful moment when two people called Milhouse finally meet.

Song: 10/10

Running: 9/10

12. BLACKPINK - BOOMBAYAH

I'm glad I stuck to my guns regarding not using shuffle, as it lead to this colourful trend - mix black and pink and you get purple, the previous artist's signature colour! Another familiar song, another relaxing segment of the run, by this point along the foot of the cliffs towards Saltdean. By now I was confident of being able to run to pretty much any song - alternating between music and podcasts over the last few years had broken me out of old habits of needing fast paced songs to keep me going. I could just settle in and enjoy the mix of English and Korean!

Song: 9/10

Running: 9/10

13. P!nk - Raise Your Glass

It is a fault of my own that I associate too many songs with the TV show Glee. I noticed it working my way through Van Halen's discography the other week; I noticed it here as well. I mostly put that out of my mind after the first verse, focusing on P!nk's snarky asides that didn't make it into the sanitised, TV friendly version. It also made me realise that I really should listen to her more!

Song: 8/10

Running: 8/10

14. Stan Getz, Joao Gilberto - The Girl From Ipanema

This was the first song that genuinely threw me off my pace. I stumbled and said (probably too loudly, I'm sure that people overheard) "what the fuck is this?!" when the French jazz came on. Over five minutes long, I felt myself slowing, and willing it to end. My colleague's attempt to throw me off worked - I'm just glad she didn't choose Ed Sheeran!

Song: 2/10

Running: 0/10

15. A Flock Of Seagulls - I Ran (So Far Away)

(This worked really well, but the plan for using the gif came to me within seconds of the intro and I couldn't not do it)

Song: 9/10

Running: 8/10

16. The Walkmen - The Rat

By this point I had hit the turn around point and was heading back towards town, along the undulating clifftop. It was also the penultimate song that I had no idea about, and another surprise! Chock full of driving drums, it reminded me (to no detriment) of The Bravery's An Honest Mistake, and I was pleased to find out later that the two songs were released within six months of each other! Another song that'll find its way onto my regular running playlists in the future.

Song: 8/10

Running: 10/10

17. Chemical Brothers - Galvanize

I could've sworn when I was listening to this song that it had been used on an advert, or TV show, perhaps as part of an exercise montage - but Wikipedia is remaining mute on the subject. Regardless, it made me feel like I was in one, so this is going on the playlist from now on. You might say it...galvanised...me into running faster!

Song: 8/10

Running: 10/10

18. Russ Abbot - Atmosphere

The final song on this list that I knew nothing about - and within seconds I was convinced it was a hastily written song to cash in on the popularity of Agadoo. According to Google this was written by Joy Division, but I'm certain that's incorrect. Spotify credits the singer, and it's really not good. I'm just glad it had some semblance of pace to it so it didn't drag!

Song: 1/10

Running: 1/10

19. Britney Spears - Toxic

About ten years ago the branch of German budget supermarket Aldi in Canterbury closed down, and the cramped site was taken over by upmarket supermarket Waitrose. The sudden increase in quality is a perfect metaphor for the vast uptick in quality between the last song and this. The Grammy award winning track is the musical equivalent of doping - listening to it makes you run faster, lighter, easier and happier.

Song: 10/10

Running: 11/10

20. Faithless - Insomnia

This was a song I was convinced I knew, but two-thirds of the way into the song it still wasn't ringing any bells...until the bells kicked in and I recognised the bit played on Invicta FM on the car rides to school all those years ago. Another great song to run to, soundtracking my run along Marine Parade back to the pier.

Song: 9/10

Running: 8/10

21. Garbage - Temptation Waits

The opening track on the first proper album I ever owned, and the third track on the "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" original soundtrack album...this is very possibly one of my most listened to songs, ever. A slow burner, it explodes on the listener partway through - and I guess knowing I only had ten minutes left of my run helped boost my motivation too!

Song: 8/10

Running: 8/10

22. Focus - Hocus Pocus (live at the Rainbow)

This was submitted with the caveat of "hopefully a 15 minute live version". The longest one I could find was "only" eight and a half minutes, but the yodelling and guitars sped me to a fast finish on Hove Lawns. I really need to give the studio version another listen!

Song: 8/10

Running: 9/10

Had I just been listening to podcasts, I probably would've called it a day at 10 or 12k. I tucked another 6k under my belt (two more pints in my beer total), covered a more interesting route, and good lord are my legs feeling it now! 

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[viralhottopics]

Yogi dressed in white shares powerful statement about period shame

Yogi Steph Gongora used a recent Instagram post to make a point about period shame.

Image: @CASA_COLIBRI / INSTAGRAM

Yoga instructor Steph Gongora did something bold this week. Dressed in white, she got onto her mat and filmed herself in various poses that revealed a red stain from her period.

Then she put the clip on Instagram, where she now has more than 258,000 followers.

SEE ALSO: When the trolls come at you over birth control coverage, here’s what to say

By Saturday, the post had been viewed 208,000 times and elicited more than 4,400 comments, both cruel and kind. Some were disturbed by the imagery while others were inspired by Gongora’s message.

Her hope, she said in the post, was to help people who menstruate feel less ashamed of a natural bodily function.

I am a woman, therefore, I bleed. . It’s messy, it’s painful, it’s terrible, & it’s beautiful. . And yet, you wouldn’t know. Because I hide it. . I bury things at the bottom of the trash. I breathe, ragged and awkward through the cramps, all the while holding onto this tight lipped, painted on smile. . Tampons? What are those. We don’t say those words out loud. Hide them. In the back pocket of your purse, in the corner of the bathroom drawer, at the very bottom of your shopping cart (please let me get a female cashier). . Events or engagements get missed. I’ll tell myself its the PMS, sure, but it has more to with the risk of being “caught,” at what…I’m not quite sure. . And Im lucky. . Over 100 million young women around the globe miss school or work for lack of adequate menstrual supplies, & fear of what might happen if the world witnesses A NATURAL BODILY FUNCTION. . WHY? . Because hundreds of years of culture have made us embarrassed to bleed. Have left us feeling dirty and ashamed. . STOP PRETENDING. Stop using silly pet names like Aunt Flo because you’re too afraid to say “I’m bleeding” or “vagina.” Stop wasting so much effort hiding the very thing that gives this species continuity. . START talking about it. Educate your daughters. Make them understand that it can be both an inconvenience and a gift, but NEVER something to be ashamed about. Educate your sons so they don’t recoil from the word tampon. So when a girl bleeds through her khaki shorts in third period (pun intended), they don’t perpetuate the cycle of shame and intolerance. . This #StartSomethingSunday , I want to highlight @corawomen . . Cora Women is a 100% Organic tampon company. . But thats not all. They are also breaking barriers. Making it ok to talk about periods, even on social media. Providing personalized, delivered tampon/pad orders right to your door. AND for every box purchased, donating a box of sustainable pads to girls who can’t afford menstruation products. . Fuck yeah. That’s the kind of stuff I can galvanize behind, no money or even product needed. Just a mission I support on a topic we should ALL be talking about. . More

A video posted by Steph Gongora (@casa_colibri) on Feb 5, 2017 at 11:06am PST

“I am a woman, therefore, I bleed,” she wrote. “It’s messy, it’s painful, it’s terrible, & it’s beautiful. And yet, you wouldn’t know. Because I hide it. I bury things at the bottom of the trash. I breathe, ragged and awkward through the cramps, all the while holding onto this tight lipped, painted on smile.”

Gongora urged people to talk openly about menstruation so that girls will understand it both as an “inconvenience and a gift” and boys will never “recoil from the word tampon.”

Her post is the latest high-profile effort to defy period shame. Last year, Newsweek ran a cover story on how the fight to end the stigma was going “mainstream.” In 2015, musician Kiran Gandhi received viral coverage for running the London Marathon without a tampon and, in 2016, YouTube star Ingrid Nilsen drew a big audience for asking President Obama about the sales tax on pads and tampons.

Gongora, who recently started sharing causes and nonprofit organizations with her followers, also used her post to highlight Cora, an organic tampon company that donates pads to some of the estimated 100 million girls around the world who lack access to menstrual products.

“That’s the kind of stuff I can galvanize behind, no money or even product needed,” Gongora wrote. “Just a mission I support on a topic we should ALL be talking about.”

BONUS: At 98 years old, this has to be the worlds oldest yoga teacher

Read more: http://on.mash.to/2lCyagm

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