#feel free to share your own favorite liam moments

[beyondxmeasure]

Favorite Liam moment because my brain can’t process anything else right now.

[alexandia03]

2024 Fic Writer End of Year Roundup

Answer and then tag three or more creators to keep the game going! Thank you to @yanny_77 and @siobhanbooks for the tag! If you're tagged here, feel free to answer! <333 It's already 2025 but I check my Tumblr once in a blue moon so...

How many words did you publish on AO3 in 2024?

179,695 - I like to think there would be more had I not been busy with my thesis, but hey! It's still an accomplishment!

How many fics did you complete this year?

Umm... none? OH WAIT! Two! I have two drabbles!

Admit it, we are lost - my little drabble for War Games with little Xaden, Bodhi, Garrick and Imogen deciding to run away from home.

Darlin' - my sad little ficlet on Bodhi's first birthday in the Quadrant.

How many in progress or ongoing fics did you start this year?

Let's see... I started MV in 2023 so... I have 3!

Grow As We Go - my neglected baby that I share with my wife, @essjaywrites

After Xaden Riorson and Violet Sorrengail's great exit from Basgiath War College during IF, Lieutenant Garrick Tavis along with third-year cadets Imogen Cardulo, Bodhi Durran, Quinn Artan, Liam Mairi and Ridoc Gamlyn embark on a clandestine mission to rescue from the Navarrian foster homes all the underage marked kids and bring them back to Aretia. However, they did not plan for their whole lives to be turned upside down when one of those kids turns out to be their niece. Maybe battling Venin and surviving as a dragon rider was the easy part, compared to the challenges of having to adapt to their new situation - all while stubbornly clinging to any excuse not to admit their feelings for one another. What could go wrong, right?

Death of a Hero - my gift to @siobhanbooks for the first exchange that I still have to finish but the second part is angsty even for me so...

A few months after the battle of Basgiath, Garrick and Imogen finally get a few moments to themselves, away from the whole world and all the problems looming over them - for a few moments, the war, the venins... it is all confetti. But reality has a way of shattering even the purest and most beautiful of moments - as they dead with the consequences of Xaden's decisions and actions from a few months prior, things go from bad to worse. Practically, every time you think it can't get worse, it gets worse.

Your Memory Feels Like Home To Me - the gift for @essjaywrites for this past Solstice that I hope to be able to finish soon (only the epilogue left! Yay!)

Having a memory related signet is cool and can come in handy for Imogen Cardulo, making her one of the strongest riders of her generation - until she finds herself on the receiving end of her own powers. And suddenly, her well-earned peace and stability is shattered into pieces - pieces she has to put back together again. Will it be the same mosaic? What if some pieces are lost forever? Will things ever get back to normal again? There questions plague both Imogen and Garrick and it remains to be seen if they get any answers.

There is also Inkpot Gods, but it is not published so...

What was your favorite thing you wrote?

Hmm, good question... I think it's Your Memory Feels Like Home To Me because it was certainly a challenge for me to write and I drew inspiration from so many things and I put a lot of effort into it because I wanted it to be perfect for my loveliest @essjaywrites - she certainly deserves it.

It is probably my fluffiest fic to date and it felt good to write established Imrrick for a change. And I drew so much inspiration from different kinds of media (movies, TV series, other fics, real life, games etc.) so it feels like a little bit of everything I love.

What piece was your most experimental or different from your usual style?

Hmm... I would mention here both Your Memory Feels Like Home To Me and Grow As We Go for different reasons:

Your Memory Feels Like Home To Me - because it was my first fic with a smut scene and even though I haven't even read that scene after I wrote it, I am kind of proud of myself for doing that.

Grow As We Go - because it is the first time I am co-writing something and writing a child is both tricky and very very nice. I love all the headcannons and ideas Sarah and I come up with for it (and also the avalanche of idea from my betas, who are the backbone of this entire fic)

Did any fics surprise you - either while writing or their reception?

I think I am a bit disappointed with how little attention YMFLHTM gets (I am not arrogant here, but I kind of expected more), but in the end I am happy Sarah liked it and that's all that matters.

On another note, I am very happy with how Braelyn and Derik were welcomed into this fandom. Initially, they were supposed to remain a cute little fun joke in my DMs with @ramzesfics, but then I wrote them into a special chapter in Memento Vivere and I was pleasantly surprised by how much people liked them and how they were basically adopted by other writers as well - check @siobhanbooks's fics for that, but also @essjaywrites's Bigger Than The Whole Sky and @copperfirebird and @sarcasticmothwrites also have them in some of their planned fics. And I remember @greeneyedwildthing asked to borrow them for Last Breath! And I can't forget about @ubiquitouslyme's fantastic take on them in The Odyssey of Imrrick!!

Do you have a fic you wrote and loved that went under the radar? (This is your sign to reblog/repost it!)

I already said that I am a bit sad about YMFLHTO, but... Darlin' is the fic that went under the radar for me. It was a sad little thing because I was a sad little thing when I wrote it, so it feels extra special to me.

Birthdays are not always a happy occasion. Sometimes they bring back painful memories and all you want is to run away for a while, but, every once in a while, it is good to have fiercely loyal friends looking out for you.

Who is an artist that inspired you?

@essjaywrites - no question there! My wife is just THAT amazing and I will never stop talking about it! Her Imrrick is my favorite of all time!

Also, special shout-out to Jules and her Imrrick gift for me this Solstice! I absolutely adore it!

Who is an author that inspired you?

I love all my friends in the RQ, but I feel the need to give my small Imrrick group a special mention here: @essjaywrites @siobhanbooks @tegantales @sarcasticmothwrites @copperfirebird @istarbel @ubiquitouslyme @ramzesfics.

Special special mention to @siobhanbooks' mom, her comments and reactions meant the world to me.

Love you all!

Who is a new author you discovered?

I think this award goes to LizardRunClub for her amazing Imrrick fic for this Solstice - Memories Consume is just amazing!

Did you do any collaborations? How did it start?

GAWG! Yes! It's @essjaywrites' and my little baby (well, second child that we have together because we adopted @siobhanbooks at some point).

As for how it started... it was a very aggressive plot bunny that came to me while I was talking to @ramzesfics and @istarbel and then it got bigger and bigger because my beta team kept kept coming with ideas and we spent an entire day brainstorming until I decided to write it. And then I begged Sarah to help me because I couldn't imagine doing this with anyone else!

What accomplishments are you proudest of?

I am proud of my first smut scene in YMFLHTM, I am proud of the impact DOAH had, I am happy whenever GAWG is mentioned, but it's Memento Vivere that remains my pride and joy. Not only because it was the first fic on Imrrick, not because I predicted a lot of stuff in it (and the Montserrat bit? I TOLD YOU SO!) It's the fic I poured so much love into and even though I still feel the need to edit and delete it, even though I post so rarely... it's the fic that got me back into writing and I am proud of it, no matter what - maybe more proud of it than I am of my thesis, I swear!

And, fun fact, I rewrote the entire first chapter (which remains my masterpiece to date) while I was writing my thesis (Feminine voices in modern retellings of Homer's epics. Penelope and Briseis). My two biggest accomplishments were written at the same time.

Imogen Cardulo's life doesn't begin with her breaking Violet Sorrengail's arm on Assessment Day and there is much more going on with her than what Violet sees. She is more than a side character this time around. Once upon a time, because that is how all stories begin, she was just another teenage girl - a little rebellious, a little more reckless than her parents would have preferred, a typically annoying little sister... an awesome friend or a pain in the ass (depending on the day and which one of her friends you asked) and she had a not so little or subtle crush on Garrick Tavis, but who can blame her for that? Then all the adults in her life went to war and the course of her life changed drastically. This is her story, in her own words. Starting from the Apostasy and covering all the high and lows, all the joyful moments and the heartbreaks, all the victories and the mistakes and giving us a look into her relationships with Xaden, Bodhi, Quinn and especially Garrick.

What did you learn about writing or creating this year?

I learned that I work well under pressure, I learned to write for myself and not for attention and aside from my fics, I am proud of my writing skills in general.

And, a little personal thing, the early chapters of MV were heavily influenced my by ex, so I also learned to never let anyone have a say in what and how I write.

What is your advice?

Write whatever inspires you, even if you feel like that idea has been already explored or it might not attract the same attention as other fics in this fandom. And give some love to the side characters, they deserve it!

Also, don't feel obligated to write or read about ships you don't like and don't let anyone tell you WHAT to ship.

What are your creative goals for 2025?

Continue to write Memento Vivere and get to the good stuff. And be patient with it, not rush through scenes just to get to a certain point.

Continue writing Grow as We Go with @essjaywrites and give it more love.

Work on the wiki more (if you ever wander who wrote Imogen and Garrick's pages - hi, it's me. I'm the problem!)

Write an academic paper on modern poems on mythological themes.

Finish DOAH (the exam session is coming, so my angsty mood will come too)

Finish YMFLHTM because they deserve a soft epilogue.

And... maybe start a new collab, who knows.

[luckthebard]

At this strange point in history, we can still make time to celebrate the birthday of our favorite eldritch horror, Taliesin Jaffe!

Please join me in sharing your favorite Taliesin moments. I’ll start!

his uncannily realistic crow noises

his esoteric knowledge of things like The Secret Garden musical and the Men with Plants calendar

His face journeys during Sam’s ads

“Yours was the face I saw when murder entered my heart.”

but also “Life needs things to live.”

designing Molly to purposefully mess with cosplayers

entering the Mind Palace during Narrative Telephone

that time he cut Erika Ishii’s hair on G&S

pour one out for Wednesday Club and Gather Your Party

The Owlbear. Just...the Owlbear

“Nine women can’t make a baby in a month!”

Caduceus’s commitment to reminding people of their buffs - “With a d4!”

That one time on Talks when Brian and Liam hugged Taliesin while he did the Caduceus voice

As always, feel free to add your own!

[sfb123]

I just read your drunk Liam fic and I just HAD to send you some prompts!!! From the prompt list you hyperlinked 9, 16, and 17 maybe? (Preferably liamxriley) pretty plz?* insert puppy dog eyes🥺*

Well… since you inserted puppy dog eyes…

I wanted to try to incorporate all three of these into one story, which actually worked out really well. Then, the issue came of how to make that apply to Liam and Riley. Luckily, my current binge obsession is the 90′s sitcom Mad About You, and there was an episode the other night that set a lightbulb off in my head, so this fic is loosely based on that episode. 

Prompts:

“We should grab coffee together sometime.”

“I’ll walk you home.”

“You need a lift?”

(Prompt pulled from this list. Feel free to send me more!)

Word Count: 1,431

Warnings: Adult language, mild innuendo

A/N: Thank you @phoenixrising308 for pre-reading. Your kindness and support are unparalleled, and I love you dearly. 

Also a thank you to @txemrn​ for dealing with my unnecessary back and forth about this moodboard. I ended up going with it, even though we were both so wishy washy about it. 

A/N 2: This is my third prompt story this week, I’m going to take a break and quietly write by myself for a while. I’ll continue to work on the asks I have received, and please please feel free to send more. I’m having so much fun! I just don’t want to bombard you all, so I’m going to start pacing my posting. When I finish a piece, I just get so excited when I finish something that I want to show you all so badly! 

***

Liam and Riley sat across from each other at the table, sharing the piece of cake that sat between them. They were in New York visiting Riley’s family for a few days, and her mother had insisted that Eleanor spend the night, so the royal couple was taking full advantage of their child-free night, wrapping up the evening with dinner at one of Riley’s favorite restaurants. 

“Hey, check that out.” Riley tipped her head toward the bar, where a man was approaching a woman who was sitting alone at the bar. “He’s going to shoot his shot and try to pick her up.”

“How do you know?” Liam asked, watching as the woman nodded, the man immediately sitting down beside her. 

“I worked in a bar long enough, I can read the body language and tell you exactly what’s going to happen.”

He turned to his wife, a skeptical expression on his face. “Prove it.”

“Wow, you don’t even believe your own wife. I’m wounded.” She placed her hand over her heart in mock devastation. “Fine, I hope you saved room after that cake, because you’re about to eat your words.”

Riley went on to explain what each was saying to the other, and accurately predicted each move that was made. Liam was so impressed that part of him felt like she may have hired these people specifically to act out this scene. 

“Now watch, he’s going to pull out his phone and try to get her to put her number in.” She said, as the man reached into his back pocket. 

“Is he going to get it?” Liam couldn’t help but be invested in the story that his wife was narrating for him. 

“She’s going to give him a number, but see how she’s already almost standing up?” Liam nodded, waiting with baited breath for her to continue, “She’s going to give him a fake number, and then leave immediately. She doesn’t want to reject him to his face.”

“That’s cold.”

“It’s life, we’ve all done it.” Riley replied nonchalantly. 

Liam’s gaze snapped to face her. “You’ve given men fake numbers before?” 

She nodded and shrugged. “Lucky for you. You never know, I could have ended up suckered into marrying one of those creeps. Or like locked in their basement or something.”

He reached across the table and took her hand in his. “I consider myself very lucky for that.” He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it softly. 

“Oh oh, here we go, look!” Riley brought his attention back to the bar where the woman was shaking the man’s hand. “Ooooh, not even a courtesy hug. Game over, dude.” They watched the woman exit the restaurant, as the man started typing on his phone. “He’s sending a text to the number she gave. It either won’t be delivered, or he’ll get a reply from someone who is most definitely not that woman.”

“That poor man. He just wanted to find love.”

Riley sighed, shaking her head. “Ahh my sweet, romantic king, your naiveté is so heartwarming. That man is just looking to get laid.” She laughed, “For all the normal experiences you missed out on, aren’t you glad that you never had to pick up women at bars?” She paused for a second. “Present company excluded, of course.” 

Liam laughed, his expression quickly turning serious. “Actually, I kind of wish I could have had the opportunity. I think I would have been good at it.” Riley arched a brow at him. “I mean it, I got you to quit your life and fly all the way to Europe because of one night, didn’t I?” 

“Touché.” She drummed her fingers against the table in a brief moment of thought, “But can lightning strike twice?” 

“What do you mean?”

“Pick me up. I’ll go sit at the bar, you come over and shoot your shot. No social season, no friends, no boxy work uniform. Just a regular guy picking up a regular girl.”

Liam smirked at the proposition. “You’re on.”

Riley left the table and took a seat at the far end of the bar. Once she was seated he put down some money to cover their dinner, and made his way to the bar. “Excuse me miss, is this seat taken?”

She looked up, smiling politely and shaking her head, motioning with her hand for him to have a seat. 

“I’m Liam.” He extended his hand. 

“Riley. Nice to meet you Liam.” She placed her hand in his, and he brought it to his lips. “A hand kiss instead of a shake, bold move. You’re not from around here, are you?”

“No, I actually just moved to the states from Europe.” 

The bartender approached and took their orders. Liam instructed him to open a tab to cover himself and Riley. He took Liam’s card and stepped away to make their drinks. 

“So, why is a beautiful woman like yourself sitting here all alone?” He asked once they were alone again. 

Riley tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and looked down at the bar, playing up her role. “You’re sweet. I uh… I was supposed to be meeting someone, but I think they stood me up.”

“Well, their loss is my gain.” As the bartender set down their drinks, Liam lifted his glass in Riley’s direction. “A toast,” He waited for Riley to raise her glass before he continued, “To the missteps of old friends, which allow the opportunity to make new ones.”

“So we’re friends now?” Riley asked as she tapped her glass against Liam’s. “That’s awfully presumptuous.”

“Well, we’ve only just met. I’m hoping that perhaps we could get to know each other and see where the evening takes us.”

Riley agreed, and they began with some small talk. Riley stuck to her pre-Cordonia life, while Liam had done a pretty good job of coming up with a non-Royal backstory. They sat there talking, and drinking and ‘getting to know’ each other. Riley was impressed with Liam’s subtle flirting skills and decided that he was right, he would have been pretty good at this had he been given the chance. 

The lights came up, and Liam’s bill was dropped on the bar in front of him. “It looks like they’re closing up.” He said as he reviewed the receipt, signing his name at the bottom. “This was a lot of fun Riley, I would like to see you again. We should grab coffee together sometime.”

“I actually don’t drink coffee, I think it’s gross.”

“Oh.” Riley smiled to herself at the disappointment in his voice.

“I would like to see you again, though.” She reassured him. 

He looked up at her and smiled. “Could I take you to dinner, maybe?” 

“Dinner would be nice.”

“Great!” He noticed the annoyed expression on the bartender's face, they were officially the last customers in the bar. “We should probably go. I’ll walk you home.”

“I actually have a car waiting for me outside.” He dropped his head, again disappointed by the rejection. “You need a lift?”

He smiled widely, standing from his seat. “I’d like nothing more.” 

He offered his arm, she slid off the stool and linked hers through his. They exited the restaurant, and were greeted by Bastien, standing in front of their SUV. Before the guard could reach the door handle, Liam released Riley’s arm and jogged ahead, opening Riley’s door for her. 

“Such a gentleman.” She smiled coyly as she slid into the backseat. He smiled and got in after her. 

“Back to the hotel, your majesties?” Bastien asked as he entered the driver’s side. 

“Yes please.” Riley answered. 

Liam looked at her curiously. “Assuming I’m going to come home with you, bold move.”

She laughed. “You don’t have to come, but I promise you’ll have fun if you do.” Riley said in a sultry tone, closing the distance between the two of them.

“Riley…” Liam’s voice was just above a whisper as she leaned in, finally pressing her lips to his. They pulled back breathless from their kiss, their eyes remained closed as they rested their foreheads together. “I guess lighting can strike twice.”

“What do you mean?”

“This is the second time I picked you up in a bar, and the second time you kissed me first.” He grinned triumphantly. 

Riley leaned back, laughing as her eyes met Liam’s. “I guess that means you win?”

“Great, let’s go back to the hotel so I can collect my prize.” He brought his hand to her cheek and pulled her in, kissing her again. 

Permatag:

@anjanettexcordonia @athena-penrose @bbrandy2002 @chemist-ana @choiceskatie @cordonia-gothqueen @cordoniaqueensworld @emersynwrites @emkay512 @gabesmommie1130 @gkittylove99 @hopelessromanticmonie @iaminlovewithtrr @kat-tia801 @khoicesbyk @kingliam2019 @lucy-268 @marshmallowsaremyfavorite @mile9213 @mom2000aggie @nestledonthaveone @phoenixrising308 @pixie88 @queen-arabella-of-cordonia @queenrileyrose @secretaryunpaid @shewillreadyou @sincerelyella @sweatyrysconnoisseur @tessa-liam @theroyalheirshadowhunter @twinkleallnight @txemrn

Liam x Riley:

@jared2612 @neotericthemis

Liam:

@amandablink @ao719 @yourmajesty09

One Shots:

@bebepac @darley1101

[look-i-love-u]

Quick headcanon challange-

Where do Ian and Mickey live 5 years after canon?

What do they do for work?

Does Fiona come back to Chicago? Does Mandy? Do Vee and Kev?

How are the Gallaghers react to Frank's death?

A cute little head canon you feel like sharing?

Feel free to send it to your favorite blogs 🖤

Hello, dear anon. I saw others answer this before and I can't promise a new and original take but it's mine. So here you go...

1. Five years after canon they will be in their early thirties and I hope they will have found their place. A place they are both happy at and that they bought with their own money and decorated together, where there's space for them and hopefully the dog they got by then and maybe a room or two for either more additions to their little family or just two extra "playrooms" for them to enjoy.

2. I don't think so. I hope Mandy found a place where she is happy. I once read a FF in which she lives on a farm with a hot and kind farmer and enjoys getting up at five in the morning and baking apple pie. I know it's probably a bit too much but I want this for her. A place to grow and be happy.

Fiona still seems a bit all over the place and I hope she gets to see the world and be fabulous.

Kev and V won't want to move around too much once their kids are going to school and have their friends there. So V will kick ass in politics and keV will eventually own his own bar again.

3. Grief is different for everyone and they deal with it differently. And I think all of them will grief, even if they talked a big game before and said they wouldn't care. Even if they're just angry and go smash something (Lip). Or if they deal by taking care of organising a last party for Frank (Carl) or go quiet for a moment till curling up next to their partner (Ian). I think Liam and Franny will experience grief in the most "traditionally accepted" sense and I hope it will make Debbie snap out of her funk and woman up and be there for Frannie, while everyone sticks together so that Liam isn't alone. Tami and Mickey will make sure they do in case they forget.

5. A cute headcanon? Um... Mickey has got a drawer filled with sweets in their apartment or house. He thinks Ian doesn't know about it. After Frannie, Freddie and Liam found the drawer and make a game out of stealing something from it every time they visit, Ian takes some candy from his own hidden drawer and fills up Mickey's stash again.

[wolfieslae]

"liam saved theo from his never ending nightmare so theo saved liam from himself"

it’s no surprise to anyone, i’m a tiny bit obsessed with thiam.

when theo first arrived to the show i liked him already, i felt like he was an interesting character with an interesting backstory, i wanted to learn more. the more i did the worst it got but i kept thinking he was interesting and i liked seeing how he was able to plan his take on the pack. he managed to insert himself in the life of the characters and turned it around, when his plan failed, he still got his pack but ended up killing them all, i admit, kinda real bad, and then he got drag down to hell.

during the fifth season we found out that when he was ten he was manipulated into thinking his older sister – tara – wanted him to have her heart, because his had a genetic disorder. he believed the dread doctors when they told him they could make him better and he killed his own sister – taking her heart. he then left with them and was raised by them, raised believing that power was all that mattered and that he would be nothing and no one without it.

in season six episode six liam and hayden decided to bring him back because they needed his help with a supernatural creature in town, while hayden was more resistant, liam did not hesitate to smash kira’s sword into the ground and free theo, saving him from his never ending nightmare at the same time.

very rapidly we understood that whatever power theo might have stolen from his chimera pack – more specifically josh – he wasn’t in possession of them anymore, he was back to "classic theo" part coyote and part wolf. after he helped with the ghost rider, liam and hayden locked theo in the holding cell at the sheriff station. theo wanted out and liam wanted answer, they made a deal and liam broke the sword and with it any chance of theo going back to hell, his never ending nightmare.

when they needed him more, liam and stilinski broke theo out of jail but unfortunately the sheriff was taken and only theo and liam were left, leaving them no choice but to work together to flee the ghost riders. they – liam – had one goal, lure them away from scott, lydia and malia who were trying to get stiles back.

the both of them ended up at the hospital where, and i quote, liam said "when the ghost riders find us, i’m not gonna do anything for you, i’m not gonna help you, i’m not gonna save you, i’m gonna do exactly what you’d do to me, i’m gonna use you as bait". we all know he did not keep that promise, in fact, while fighting with a ghost rider, he pointed a gun at the one theo was fighting and shot, saving his life in the process. to "pay him back" and maybe prove that he wasn’t as bad as liam made him out to be, theo offered himself as bait.

while we all thought he had been taken in the hunt, we found out he hadn’t when out of nowhere he came back and saved liam from one of the ghost riders at the school, leaving liam able to get on with his god awful – but working – plan to get into the hunt.

while theo later on fought at the side of scott, malia and peter, he was forgotten and left alone. obligated to live in his car.

we found that out on season six episode twelve, where i noticed that the deputies coming to wake him up seemed to always wear a different uniform, did theo move around? or is the beacon county just, that big?

he was shot and didn’t come back until three episodes later (not gonna lie, these were the three most stressful weeks of my life).

when in episode twelve we found out he was living in his car, we also found out that he might have been the first target for the anuk-ite. thankfully, theo caught the spider early and got rid of it before it took his body and with it, his life.

when he came back in episode fifteen, he was hang up and tied to an electric fence in gerard and monroe’s headquarters. along with two other werewolves. when he thought he was free, he ended not being and was taken into custody.

during episode fifteen, when nolan was caught trying to sneak into the sheriff station liam automatically recognized him as the one who tried to make him shift in front of the whole school by beating him up. by scott’s reaction we understand that he might not have told him. but some of the shots during this scene were interesting, showing liam on the first plan with a close-shot accompanied by a blurry theo in the back. we understand why in the next scene that they share, in the bathroom.

theo confronts liam about what is happening, saying he will not risk his freedom. while liam first manages to stay calm during the discussion, he looses control when talking about brett and lori’s death. he punches theo before heading out and saying "i’m still working on my anger".

while we don’t know what happens between episode fifteen and episode sixteen, we understand that something might have clicked in liam’s brain, because, while he reacted poorly, theo seemed to be the only one noticing that something was wrong with liam. could this be why he brought him with him at the zoo? maybe.

it could also be because theo seems to be able to handle liam. theo has a past and liam knows it, theo doesn’t shy away in front of danger and maybe this is what liam needs at the moment? someone who will not hesitate to get in the way to stop him from doing something stupid?

there is also a line in this episode where theo says "i’m not dying out here because you want pay back against a kid who kicked your ass" and while i have no recollection of anyone explaining to theo what happened in the prior episodes with nolan and liam, maybe someone did between episode fifteen and sixteen, liam perhaps?

the car conversation is also interesting because now theo knows how bad liam has it with his anger, and the fear the anuk-ite brings is not helping "people only feel one emotion at a time liam". he also knows liam needs help "you brought me here because that thing that came out of the wild hunt is affecting you too" at this moment theo has already made up his mind, whether liam wants his help or not, he is going to get it.

and funny enough, liam doesn’t seem that resilient – oh he is yes – but not so much because deep down he knows he needs it, he also knows that whatever technique theo uses, it seems to be working because in episode seventeen, during the locker-room scene, liam calms down a bit too quickly for my liking (wrong i absolutely loved that).

theo uses reversed psychology and makes it to seem like liam would turn into a murderer, into someone like him "i’m the one with experience here", theo even uses "we" so that liam can feel more of a "bad person" because of what he might do. but in the end, it works and liam calms down.

now here is my favorite part, right after that liam asks theo "why do you keep trying to save me" and while theo answers something so dumb i don’t even want to mention it, i know it’s because liam saved him first and now theo feels obligated to return the favor (well, he does seem to enjoy it anyways).

theo can be seen in the next episode, number eighteen, right at the beginning, in the animal clinic with scott, liam and mason.

mason agrees with theo and liam doesn’t seem to like it, everything he says to or about theo seems to come out as an insult, but why? they seemed to be getting along well in the prior episode? finishing each other sentences when showing the dead bodies gabe brought them to to scott and malia? maybe because he’s starting to realize he might need theo more than he thought? and he doesn’t want to acknowledge it?

either way, theo and mason are sent to the tunnels to find aaron. they are both clearly uncomfortable being with each other but theo even more because the tunnels are where everything started and he surely does not want to stay or be here at all.

mason ends up hurt, and theo decides to try and take his pain away. first of all, great decision, it shows that he is trying to change, that he at least knows he can do it at some point and wants to. unfortunately he isn’t able "you can’t take pain if you don’t care". theo still decides to stay with mason while waiting for help.

the next time we see theo, it’s at the beginning of episode twenty, the finale. he is in his car, driving to somewhere on the phone with scott.

here are some details that don’t sit right with me. their phone call lasted twenty six seconds. there is no way theo answered the phone, got in his car, and drove to what seems to be the highway in twenty six seconds, so where was he going? was he leaving town because of what had happened with mason in the tunnels or liam’s sneaky comments at the clinic? because even after all his efforts, he is still not being accepted and knows he probably never will? probably. but i’m glad scott called and asked for his help.

he got to the hospital and saved liam’s ass – again might i add.

then, there is what is for me, their most important scene, for their relationship but also for their own character’s arc.

the elevator scene.

where they promise each other they weren’t gonna die for each other. where they lie their ass off.

i have a theory about this scene. remember the look? yes that one, the famous look down. based on my calculations, it is way too low to be directed to liam’s lips as people believe it to be, no, i think it’s directed to his chest, most importantly, his heart. because liam lied, and theo heard it. now of course theo lied too but he’s a professional he knows how to keep his heart steady.

and of course liam knows that theo knows because the look gives it away, which is why he accepts to fight with him (and damn, they make a pretty good team! i mean, that back roll? come on!) and i think in that moment they understood that no matter what, they can’t hide from this anymore, whatever this is (my money’s on anchor with a touch of love).

but in that moment i knew. i knew that because liam allowed himself to get help from theo, allowed himself to be anchored by theo, he anchored theo too. he gave him a reason and the opportunity to stay on the right path, on the path to redemption. and in that moment theo realized that he mattered, that he had a purpose.

can we also quickly talk about the small shot of theo flinching at the sound of the gun going off? when has he ever done that? he was literally raised by the dread doctors, he’s not afraid of anything, but not knowing if liam was on the other end of that gun shot scared him.

now we all know that part of why theo was able to take gabe’s pain was because he saw himself in him, the kid who trusted the wrong people and suffered the consequences, just like he did. but part of why he was able to care was because liam cared. liam gave theo a reason to care.

and this is why i love them so much. because their relationship, again, whatever it is, is special. it’s unlike any we’ve ever seen in the show. it’s important because it takes into consideration who they are on their own. it doesn’t exist just to add a relationship or a story-line to the show, it exists to fit on their own story-line, to make them better people.

as the title says, liam saved theo from his never ending nightmare so theo saved liam from himself (and fell in love with him in the process).

they are so important to me because i like when relationships have meaning, and theirs seems to be just that, meaningful.

[teenwolflegacy]

Join us for a week of celebrating Teen Wolf’s Bitten Betas, (chronologically) Jackson, Isaac, Erica, Boyd, Liam, and Hayden.

May 2nd to 8th, 2021

Any and all types of contributions are welcome, whether they be fics, art, edits, gifs, playlists, headcanons, shitposts, or whatever else you can come up with!

Here’s some optional themes for each day, to give you inspiration whether you’re creating graphics or writing fic:

Day 1 - favorite quote/s or character study Day 2 - favorite ship dynamic/s or canon fix-it Day 3 - favorite brotp dynamic/s or pack feels Day 4 - favorite emotional moment/s or angsty feels Day 5 - favorite scene/s or hijinks o’clock Day 6 - favorite headcanon/s or AUs Day 7 - dealer’s choice

We will be using the tag #TWLBittenBetasWeek for the event! Make sure to also tag us with @teenwolflegacy to increase the chance of us seeing your work. Feel free to reach out to us if we don’t share your content within two days.

--

Guidelines:

This event is informal, so there’s no sign-up process. Just create!

If you’d like additional moral or technical support for your creations, you can join our Teen Wolf community on Discord by clicking the link in our bio.

You’re not obligated to follow any of the themes. They’re just there for inspiration.

All submissions must include at least one of the six Bitten Betas as the main focus. That doesn’t mean you can’t include other characters or other background ships, but at least one Bitten Beta has to be the primary focus.

We ask that you post your submissions on your own blog so that we can reblog.

You must be 18 years or older to create and share NSFW content (including fic). Depictions of non-consensual sex acts are not admissible for this event.

Note that this is a positivity event! While dark themes, sadness, and angst are all allowed, works must be positive in their overall tone and story.

No character bashing or hate will be tolerated.

[1ddotdhq]

💐Fri 4 Dec ‘20 🌍

Cooking competitions were fought, flower shops were opened, petitions were signed, and today was all in all a lovely, gentle sort of day! 

Before last night’s Variety show, real!Harry popped back on instagram to tell Kid Harpoon that the producer award he got was “Fake News” and to “Stop the Count”. Look if Harry wants to keep showing more personality on Instagram I WANT TO SEE IT! Then Variety’s show aired, and Niall and Harry were “there”: Niall presented Lewis Capaldi’s “songwriter of the year” award (in response to it, Lewis thanked the other songwriters for “being a worse songwriter than me”), and Harry, of course, was the Hitmaker of the year! He was introduced by a lot of Big Industry People who all decided to say that they were, uh, so proud of him for leaving a boyband and becoming a rock star? Ah, good, that means it’s the “elitist music takes” segment of the hour. When are people gonna realize that shitting on a really successful, record breaking band in order to say nice things about Harry (one of its members!) is not the compliment they think it is. Nick Kroll's longer intro was at least more interesting, sharing some DWD set moments, confirmed that Harry is a ‘manly man’, and jokingly said that he and his wife and Harry have become a throuple (ANOTHER threesome? Really Harry?). Harry then showed up, looking pretty tired (he’s been doing very long hours, guys!) and wearing his dick banana necklace, and said, “Thanks to [my team] and everyone who supported me through it...thanks to the label for leaving me alone..this is...cool. Cool. I’m gonna get back in the studio”. Cool! 

Anyways, that discourse was quickly overtaken by the revelation that Harry DID pay his touring crew back in the spring when his tour was postponed: it came from a local Belgian publication in Ghent, where a man named Yves Van Acker has opened a flower shop (yes I DO think that this sounds like the beginning of a fairy tale!). Anyways, Yves has toured with a number of famous bands over the years, Harry being most recent. “The entire crew was suddenly out of work,” Yves said of Love On Tour’s crew, “But Harry Styles did not want to leave us. Each member was therefore paid an amount. A nice gesture, on which I decided to do something positive with this latest income”. A few things about this 1.) it was not just a nice gesture, it’s the Right Thing to DO! He’s paying people for work he hired them to do! 2.) It's wonderful enough to see, in fact, that it really isn't actually necessary to inflate: the employee told us that he received an amount, clearly a decent amount (enough to open a business), but we do not know if he was given his full wages. It sure is amazing though! And 3.) he named bouquets of flowers after Harry songs! He has “Adore You”, “Golden”, “Canyon Moon”, and “Ever Since New York”, but not, shockingly enough, “Sunflower Vol 6” - COME ON! It’s RIGHT THERE! Anyways, I adore Harry and I want everyone to know that - he does always do his best to be kind. 

Liam has a new COVER out, and one of my favorite songs: “Waiting on the World to Change” by John Mayer! The cover is for UNICEF Changemaker, and Liam says that he’s “proud to support them in any way I can”. Okay I’m a NERD so I’m about to rant about how this was the PERFECT song for Liam. The first is his RANGE: he gave the song a really gravelly, soulful sound that it deserves, and his falsettos are SO GOOD that he hits the high notes EASILY. The second are the LYRICS of the song! Literally: “It's hard to beat the system when we're standing at a distance” and “and when you trust your television, what you get is what you got; ‘cause when they own the information, they can bend it all they want”. UGH CHILLS! But that was NOT ALL for Liam, who made a guest appearance on Abby Robert’s YouTube channel in a cook off competition! They made roasted potatoes and Yule Logs (weird combo but okay), and chatted about Christmas traditions a bit. Liam said that he actually DOES do quite a bit of cooking on Christmas because he liked to watch the “tea” go down but not be a part of it (Liam do you read this blog? Was that a hint??). Anyways, he also said that he spends every Christmas with his son, because “Christmas is about kids” (Abby Roberts did a HARD eye roll it was very funny), he put out a fire (firefighter!Liam), and he dropped a boiled potato and lots of powdered sugar. Liam won for his potatoes and Abby won for the Yule Log, and *I* got really hungry. “Don’t set your kitchens on fire,” Liam warns cheerily at the end of the video. Yeahhhh, thanks for that! And now for Liam’s short but lovely content: his alarm this morning said, “It’s that Friday feeling” and then he and Roman talked about their holiday plans - Liam with his fam, Roman with his booze and Karaoke (“I’ll be doing strip that down in front of my mum”. Yeah, cuz that’s not weird at all), and they FINALLY released their bedtime story - It’s twenty minutes long and it’s called “Bedtime Bromance” (can’t wait to hear it!). He also posted an Instagram story of himself in a recording studio in Stockholm singing “Last First Kiss”. “Back to Where it All Started,” the caption read. :{) 

And now for Niall and Louis, both of whom are taking up some social issues! Sam Fender (who got into a bit of hot water yesterday for, uh, a joke about Louis’ fans and our key smashing tendencies alkdjfladj) called on the UK-based “Tomlinators” (lmao no <3) to sign a petition which requires local governments to have free helplines for the homeless and vulnerable. And, of course, fans got right on that and helped Sam reach his goal! Oh, wait, no, that DIDN’T happen - instead, fans jumped down his throat for, uh, clout chasing?? And they told him that he couldn’t get away with mocking us and expect us to HELP him!! YEAH GUYS! How DARE he try to use his influence to make a difference?? Anyways, Louis was clearly super mad, you could tell by how he liked the tweet, retweeted the petition, and then said, “Very important cause. If you’re a UK resident please sign!”. As of right now, the petition sits at 10,000 out of 100,000 signatures needed, so. Let’s get it done! Niall is also going to do some community work: he will be at Comhairle Na Nog’s meeting ( it’s an Irish child and youth councils in Ireland) on Saturday giving a shout out to the kids who have been working on projects and in their community despite lockdown. Awww, best of luck to both of them in their very worthy causes.

[dramaticviolincrescendo]

Okay, what are your thoughts on Ian's relationships? With his family, his boyfriends, and Mandy (since I think that's the only friend he's had)

Oh, no. Ohhhhhhhh, no. Now you’ve done it. You’ve asked about my dear, darling favorite character on the show. My love for one Ian Gallagher runs deep, which means this answer is going to run super long. The good, the bad, and everything in between—Ian Gallagher lives rent free in my brain and always will. I derive so much satisfaction from seeing Ian interact with other people, in whatever capacity that might be. I admire and aspire to the compassion he has shown for others over the years, even and perhaps most especially those who arguably haven’t earned it. He tries so hard to be good to people, and seeing their love for him manifest when he’s reached such lows where he can’t even fathom why the love of his life would want to be with him forever? That’s powerful.

So, yeah. I said I could write essays on these characters, and that’s exactly what you’re about to get: five hours and 6k words’ worth of my thoughts. (I am so sorry. There will be text walls.)

Let’s dive into Ian’s many and multifaceted relationships—his family, his friends, and his romantic pursuits.

Ian and Family

Ian told us where he stood on this in the very first season, and it set the standard for his character for eleven years to come. Faced with a prospect that others in his position could only dream of—not being Frank’s son and having a wealthy father with a functional, prosperous lifestyle mere miles away—Ian refused to buy into it. He refused to do what might have been objectively better for his future by seeking a relationship with Clayton. In that household, he would have had access to a better public school, more financial resources, a tutor to help him where he was struggling, and less urgency for him to work so that he could enjoy being a kid. When he got sick, he would have had access to better healthcare, too. Perhaps he would have had a better shot at West Point from that background than he did at home. But that’s just it: home was with his family, and he was very clear that they didn’t live in that nice house. All he wanted—all he wanted—was to be with his brothers and sisters. He has never referred to them as only half-siblings or half-cousins; he has never even used the words, “you’re not my dad,” on Frank. That’s his family, the people he loves most in the world, and he’s always been at his best when he’s with them and at his worst when he’s not. Let’s look at each of them:

1.      Frank: It is so striking to me that Ian doesn’t appear to hold the outright contempt for Frank that Fiona, Lip, and Debbie have exhibited at different points over the years. Aside from the handful of instances where they’ve gotten into physical altercations (which Frank always initiated) and kicking him out of the house on occasion, Ian is simply indifferent to him. But there are these moments, these brief glimmers of mutual attachment and loyalty, if those are the right words. In the scene where Ian famously doesn’t count to three before using the pepper spray on him, Frank starts saying how his New Gallaghers weren’t his real kids—that Ian is his real son, and Frank is his real father. It’s a passing thought uttered while trying to manipulate his way into the house that neither of them think much of, nor does the audience…until you remember that biologically, Frank isn’t his father, and he certainly hasn’t behaved like one either. Ian has more right than anyone to comment on that, but he doesn’t because Frank is his father. He’s the father that Ian idly hoped wouldn’t come to his wedding yet sat joking about with Debbie rather than getting pissed off that he was making out with some lady in front of everyone. He’s the father who sat at the table with them eating breakfast in 11x03 and claimed Mickey was the man in their relationship without Ian saying a word to him about it, and who Ian saw no issue with taking Franny to school when no one else could. In s4, as far removed from his family as he’d been for a while, Ian still went straight to the hospital when he heard that Frank was at death’s door. We focus so much on his attitude towards Monica because of how obvious it was that we frequently miss these tiny moments and their implications. It would take an awful lot of patience, compassion, and love not to write Frank off completely after all he’s done. Not necessarily our standard definition of love between a son and his father, perhaps, but a loving soul.

2.      Monica: I have actually written a pretty lengthy post about his relationship with her because while their shared mental illness definitely plays a role in his feelings toward her, that grew complicated far earlier than his diagnosis. The first time we meet her, we see that he has a visceral reaction to news of her presence. He runs. When Ian can’t process strong emotions, that’s what he’s done in the past. I happened upon an interview Cameron did just after the end of s1 where he mentioned something I had already been thinking: Ian’s age when Monica left is extremely important. He was a kid in s1, but one who could roll with the punches, sometimes literally. She left them two years before that. Ian would have been in middle school, roughly as old as Debbie was when she still called Frank “daddy” and forgave him for everything he did. It’s an awkward age that once again set Ian in something of a danger zone—too old to accept an excuse or no explanation at all, but not old enough to process the situation in a healthy way. And then she’s back all of a sudden with no warning. Ian doesn’t cry like Debbie, and he doesn’t typically get explosively angry like Fiona. He can’t deal, so he runs. He hangs back. He only speaks when he has to and compartmentalizes: Monica wants to take Liam, and they need to stop her. It doesn’t have to be about her leaving. They have a goal—he can focus on that. And then she’s back a year later, saying she’s here to stay while Fiona seems to take her at her word and Lip isn’t there to ground everyone. Ian tries so hard to behave like Lip would with his biting sarcasm and attempts to stay emotionally distant in a way that seemed pretty exaggerated for Ian, but he’s also dealing with a fresh wave of guilt over Mickey going to juvie—and Monica gets it. She’s the only person to acknowledge that he’s in pain and actively try to make it better. She’s the only one who really knows at the time, but that hardly matters. This poor kid, whose mother left him when he still needed her, has her standing in front of him and saying she’s sorry and listening when he speaks and taking him dancing—just the two of them. Embarrassing as it was and harmful as it could have been, she tried to facilitate his dreams when no one else wanted him to go into the military. She was there for him when he went AWOL. She came for him when he was arrested and even wanted to make a place for him in her new life, unrealistic as it was. This goes so much deeper than them both being bipolar. Ian’s comment about her parachuting into their lives in s7 wasn’t about Mickey or her role in them breaking up. He trusted her. He wanted her. He needed her. And she’d convinced him that she would be there—until she left. Over and over again. She was there for him and unintentionally took advantage of how desperately he still needed his mother. She made him keep loving her, and that’s both a blessing that has him crying into a voluminous man’s arms when she passes and a curse that wrecked him more than once.

3.      Fiona: The trust these two have for each other cannot be understated. Fiona has discussed things with Ian that she never brought up around any of the other kids throughout the entire series. In the pilot episode, she tells him about feeling needed and takes his opinion on the matter to heart. At the end of the season, he’s the one she talks to about the car because she can trust him to give her an answer even without speaking. In s2, she tells Lip that the two of them are her rocks, and we see that time and time again. That’s part of what makes their falling out over the church hit that much harder: it’s Ian and Fiona. The only time they’d been on the outs in any serious manner up to that point was when Ian was adjusting to his new reality and they were trying to find a balance between sister and caretaker. Otherwise, that bond of trust had never been severed—not until Ian literally sold himself only for it to amount to nothing in the end because she had no idea the lengths to which he’d gone to get that building. That damage gets mended, thankfully, but what a powerful period of time when those two were the only ones who’d never really been at each other’s throats. There is a downside to that trust, though. As I mentioned before, Ian was so responsible and put together when he was younger that Fiona didn’t think twice about his situation with Ned or that he ran away. Not even seventeen yet, and she was telling Debbie that she didn’t like his decision to leave but trusted him. That is one of the things I love about this show—even something like trust that we always prop up as an important factor in our relationships can betray us in the most unexpected ways.

4.      Lip: I won’t go into it here, but the relationship they share is something that means a lot to me on a personal level. It’s part of how I knew that Ian would become my favorite character pretty early on. The way he simultaneously admires and envies Lip, loves and is annoyed by him, relies on him and is desperate to pave his own path in the world—what a beautiful and accurate depiction of what it means to be a younger sibling. Lip is the first person to discover that he’s gay and openly accept him for it. (I think what he tried with Karen came from a well-meaning place even if it was horribly, horribly misguided.) Lip is the one who tries to get him into West Point, hate it as he does. He helps Ian when Terry is after him, takes care of him in the aftermath of the wedding when he realizes just how deeply Ian feels for Mickey, searches the whole damn city for him when he finds out that Ian is in trouble, gets him a job, leans on him in his own time of need… He’s not perfect. He slips up, just like Ian does. Some things break my heart, like Lip insisting that he’s earned his own space when his little brother is asking him for safe harbor or Ian thanking him for being his brother outside the prison. But they love each other so much, and I just… I can’t possibly put into words how much I love their dynamic.

5.      Debbie, Carl, and Liam: I’m grouping these three together because they’re further separated from Ian in age, so we see a lot of the same trends with them as a whole. Ian loves taking care of people. We know this. We also know that Fiona and Lip don’t typically want him taking care of them—they’re the ones who take care of him when he needs it, specifically Lip. With the younger three, however, Ian can be the Big Brother. He can shake his head in utter bafflement at Debbie’s obsession with holding her breath for two minutes, walk Carl through what he needs to go camping, and promise his baby brother postcards when he leaves. The difference here is that his relationship with them is so much less fraught with conflict. We don’t see him fight with Debbie, Carl, or Liam the way he has with Fiona or Lip. While Ian tends to be the voice of reason during conflicts overall, I think it’s also because he relies on his older siblings in a way that he doesn’t with his younger siblings, and the latter don’t tend to rely on him as much as Fiona or Lip as well. There’s a lack of tension in most of their interactions growing up because that pressure isn’t there. Perhaps this is where Ian’s age and standing in the family is a bit more beneficial: young enough to have people he can rely on while too young for anyone to really rely on him for more than his share of the squirrel fund.

Ian and Friends

I’ve seen it mentioned that Ian (and Mickey) not having more friends is bad or lazy writing. I tend to believe that that fails to take something into account that, admittedly, most of us don’t really have to think about: having friends is a luxury. It requires time and effort to cultivate friendships, especially lasting ones. As a kid, Ian spent a lot of his free time working or helping to manage one family crisis after another. Going AWOL, losing his health, struggling to acclimate to his illness, trying to find a new career path, spiraling into the Gay Jesus movement, going to prison, adjusting once again to normal life, getting married, a pandemic… I’m sure he’s had plenty of acquaintances over the years, but having a family to support and constant upheavals would have made it extremely difficult to really forge strong relationships with them. I think that’s part of what makes his relationship with Mandy so special and valuable to him: she’s sort of the same way.

When we met Mandy in s1, she had other friends. We saw her meet up with them and go shopping; she told Ian a story about how one was mad at her for not sharing her make-up. As the trauma in the Milkovich household reached its zenith for her in s2 and she started thinking seriously about getting out of there, we saw those friends fall by the wayside—all except Ian. He saw her and let her see him early on. That’s a level of trust and respect that nobody else in their neighborhood would have displayed, certainly not to her. But then there’s this guy who defended her against their creepy, perverted teacher and treated her like a human being, not an object. It’s no wonder she developed an obvious, unrequited crush and sought physical comfort from him occasionally. It’s no wonder she tried to repay the favor by giving Mickey a hard time in s3 and s4, misguided and rather uninformed as we know it was at the time. (It’s also no wonder that she went for the closest Gallagher to Ian, either, but that’s for another meta.)

And Ian… Ian is loyal to a fault. We have watched Ian cut out his own heart and let the blood drip down his arm to pool on the floor at his feet if it would make a damn bit of difference for the people he loves. Like Fiona and Lip, Mandy immediately accepted him for who he is and suggested an arrangement that would protect him as well as benefit her. That is enormous where they came from. To him, that had to feel like the ultimate sign of friendship: he could trust her with a part of him that he hadn’t even entrusted to most of his family yet. From that point on, she was on the List of People Ian Gallagher Would Do Anything For. Finding out about Terry and what had happened? He held a bake sale, of all things, to fundraise for her. Seeing that his brother—his best friend—was treating her like garbage? He put him in his place. Her boyfriend was beating her? He brought her home and made it his goal to find a safe place for her to stay, even if it ultimately didn’t work. She was going to move away from all of her meager support with that boyfriend? He didn’t just rally his own arguments—he brought in outside help with Lip, who he thought might tip the scales. It’s usually just a saying that true friends will help each other hide a body, but Ian literally tried to do that. Lucky for him, he has a good head on his shoulders and used it.

No, Ian doesn’t seem to have a lot of friends. We’ve seen that he has spheres of influence, if you will, and acquaintances that he can call upon when he needs them. (For example, the guys that helped with the preacher.) However, Ian has always struck me as a “quality over quantity” type of person. Being a soldier or an EMT isn’t lucrative, but they’re meaningful for someone who sees them as vehicles for helping people. Seeing more parts of the world than just Chicago has appealed to him in the past, but he seems perfectly content to carve out a spot for himself right here at home. Having only three best friends—Lip, Mandy, and Mickey—doesn’t seem like much of a hardship for him.

Ian and Romantic Pursuits

I hate to say that there were five, but from Ian’s perspective, there were. So, let’s talk about all five. Even though…there weren’t five. There was only one. We’ll save the best for last.

1.      Kash: The first of Ian’s perceived romantic pursuits that really wasn’t. I hope it goes without saying that I hate this man with the passion of a thousand burning suns. I hate him so much. However, their interactions taught me a whole lot about how kind and compassionate Ian really is—and how naïve. Of course, he would believe that Kash loved him. The man was buying him all sorts of expensive gifts, and that’s what we see on all the commercials and in so many movies, isn’t it? Grand gestures of affection through expensive gifts. Poor as they were, Ian still scraped together the money to buy him baseball tickets and CDs, convinced as he was that that was all part of what you did in a relationship. That desire to do things like a “normal” married couple in s11? Yeah, that starts here. Ian has always been a planner, and he’s always bought into certain stereotypes. We can see that here. What we can also see is Ian’s compassionate, kind, loving soul. He cares so deeply for other people, even ones that he doesn’t know very well, especially if they are living in circumstances that mean something to him. (For example, the mentally ill woman they tried to help at work and the shelter kids whose situations were so similar to Mickey’s.) Kash being a closeted gay man living in misery with a wife he didn’t love and two children he never meant to have clearly tugged at Ian’s heartstrings. Even after everything that happens, even though Ian behaves as though they’re awkward exes who just happen to work together, he still covers for Kash. He gives him that head start and takes it upon himself to break the news to Linda that he’s gone. He defends Kash to Lip when the latter finally says exactly what we all know: he was a pedophile who deserved to rot in prison for what he did. As with Fiona’s trust, Ian’s loving soul, compassionate heart, and desire for love outside his siblings are virtues that have done him harm in the past. This is one such instance.

2.      Ned: The second of Ian’s perceived romantic pursuits that really wasn’t. To be honest, I don’t believe that Ian would even characterize it that way. He seemed very aware that Ned was a distraction from his problems—from Mickey being in juvie, Monica falling into a depressive episode, the money in the squirrel fund being gone, Lip moving out, losing his shot at West Point, and getting denied for service due to his age. Again, though, Ian has always wanted to feel valued, and this rich dude was letting him stay in a fancy hotel room with anything he wanted readily available. This (disgusting predator) guy was giving him attention and a distraction with no strings attached. Then the complications roll in, and he’s once again faced with being the mistress to a closeted, married man. The difference here is that he’s not comfortable with it. He tries to tell Fiona twice, which is enormous for Ian when he has never been very good at communicating if it means burdening others with or even merely facing his own problems. But he tries to tell her. He rejects the GPS unit and tells Ned that he has a boyfriend, boxing him into a strictly sexual arrangement. (This, unfortunately, makes sense. It aligns with how Fiona viewed things: where Jimmy was concerned about it, she told him that it was “just sex.”) He is also visibly embarrassed to admit to Lip and Fiona what has been going on with Ned. By that point, Ian is a year and a half older and, while still scarred and warped in his views because of Kash, perhaps a bit wiser. Emotionally, he kept Ned at arm’s length most of the time. He used Ned not just as a distraction, but as a way to galvanize Mickey into taking their relationship a step forward. But Ian is still Ian, and Ian is compassionate to a fault. Ned played that card by asking if he could have a little understanding for a man whose life was falling apart. Sure, he can. He’s Ian, the Gallagher too empathetic for his own good at times. We know how that spirals out of control. It just goes to show that even when Ian was trying to maintain some emotional distance, his heart is simply too big and his perceptions too heavily impacted by the grooming he’d experienced with two different people by then, and so he [SPOILER ALERT] still feels enough of a connection to Ned after all these years to be mildly bothered that he passed away.

3.      Caleb: The third of Ian’s perceived romantic pursuits that really wasn’t. Ian’s relationship with Caleb strikes me as being similar to what he had with Ned. While more age-appropriate, Ian was very much using Caleb, just as Caleb was using him. That’s why it was so easy for both of them to walk away. Ian was in a difficult spot when they met. He was grateful to the firefighters who saved his life, but he had also just saved someone else at a moment when he was perhaps at his absolute lowest. That’s what he’s always wanted, isn’t it—to be a bit of a hero and help people? So, he’s understandably drawn there, first out of gratitude and then to be surrounded by very attractive gay firemen who helped people, saved his life, and invited him to be part of a function they were holding. But he made himself pretty clear from the start: he was interested in sex with Caleb. That was the draw. He still hasn’t come to terms with being bipolar and losing Mickey, but Ian has never not been with anyone for any extended length of time. That’s just who he is: he’s always sought some level of outward validation—from the army, Kash, Monica, Mickey, and so many others. We’re seeing him struggle with that now as he deals with the opportunities available to him as a mentally ill ex-con felon. So, he pursues Caleb as a distraction just like he did with Ned, only Caleb is a predator in his own right and can smell that his interest is coming from a place of weakness. He immediately (and initially unintentionally) preys on Ian’s desperate need for structure and order by insisting on a traditional date where Ian is very much out of his element and even goes so far as to instruct Ian on how to be intimate. It’s no wonder he mentions Mickey in these moments, as Mickey never wanted him to change, and Ian leans heavily (even slightly hyperbolically) into the fact that Mickey wasn’t a paragon of order and stability like Caleb outwardly appears. 

And I think why Ian puts up with it so long—being taught like a child, being used to upset Caleb’s parents, being paraded in front of his friends to make them jealous—is because he was getting something out of it too, just like with Ned. A stable place to live when their home ownership was in flux, a place away from his family when they weren’t providing the support he needed as he adjusted to his disorder, someone who validated his desires to help people regardless of their ulterior motives, and a physical distraction from his own problems. All of these parallel his relationship with Ned very closely. It was never going to last, of course. Ian is a strong person who temporarily forgot how strong he was because he forgot who he was, and Caleb didn’t want to be cared for—he wanted a project, like all of his sculptures. Being a project, being something that others see as needing to be fixed? That’s a hard no for Ian. It always has been. There’s a moment I love later in their relationship where Caleb tells him to turn off the lights when he goes out and lightly reprimands him for leaving one on the day prior. Ian is in a better place at that point, having regained a lot of his sense of self, and stares after him with indignation at being treated like a kid. He’s then lied to and cheated on, but I think that to mention those things to Caleb when they break up is to admit weakness on his own part—that he stuck with Caleb knowing that he was being mistreated, and Ian is not one to be called a victim. So, while we know from his discussions with Lip and Sue that the cheating and distrust bothered him most, he merely focused on Caleb lying about his sexuality, which removed a lot of the emotion from the situation—just like he did with Ned. It ultimately turned out to be a bad move since Caleb, being a skilled predator, made him question even his own sexuality in return, but we’re starting to see that Ian isn’t here to be someone’s toy anymore. Not an older, married man like Ned, but definitely not anyone his age either. I’m glad this pseudo-relationship happened because it showed Ian how strong he really was and that he could be in control of his own life. Sure, it destabilized him a little in the aftermath, but he worked through it. He leaned on his family, specifically Lip, who has always been his rock without the blurred lines that Fiona represented between sister/mother-figure/caretaker. Caleb is a garbage person, but Ian was the one who pulled the treasure from the trash, not him.

4.      Trevor: The fourth of Ian’s perceived romantic pursuits that really wasn’t. Trevor is perhaps the first relationship where we don’t see Ian dive in. Whether that’s because of his confusion over Trevor’s gender identity or the fact that he was really beginning to fully mature as an adult by that point (ostensibly finishing his education, getting a career, being fully self-sufficient, etc.), he tried to take his time and not jump right in. They hung out, talked around the neighborhood, and yes, engaged in some casual intimacy at the club. Again, Ian might not be in a full relationship, but he’s never without someone for long. At that point in the series, all he was missing was a relationship when it comes to traditional, “normal” goals for people to have. But Trevor posed a situation he’s never been in before since, while gay himself, Ian has never been very interested in activism or engaging in the LGBT community. It’s just not in his culture or environment, so to be faced with someone he’s interested in that challenges a lot of his views of gender and sexuality is something he takes his time with. Unfortunately, Trevor is younger than him and not quite as mature, not quite as experienced. He tells Ian he has plenty of friends and doesn’t need another, which is an ultimatum that has never really sat very well with me personally because I’m generally of the mind that if a person needs time and you really care for them, you’ll let them have that time. I’m not unsympathetic to Trevor: he’s been burned before and has his own trauma stemming from responses to his identity, so it makes complete sense for him not to be patient in this regard. He shouldn’t have to be—but then, Ian shouldn’t have to rush into anything he’s not 100% certain he wants either. That’s exactly what he does, though, because Ian does for others without thinking of the implications for himself a lot of the time. They make great friends, but they don’t make great partners. Trevor treats Ian similarly to Caleb in that he’s a bit of a project. Trevor educates him on the LGBT community and incorporates him into his ventures for the shelter without ever really showing much interest in Ian’s life or family, which suits Ian just fine because for as interested as he is in helping with the shelter and as attracted to Trevor as he is, he seems to know they’re not compatible. Ian, who has been having sex since he was far too young, takes a step back from it when they run into compatibility issues. (And pushes back on the pressure to bottom with some of his own—neither of them were in the right on that.) He doesn’t ask much about Trevor’s family or try to be part of his personal life. They sort of embody the “friends with benefits” stereotype: they hang out, they have sex, and that’s really all there is to their relationship. 

The reason Ian doubles down on trying to make it work isn’t because there was a future for them before Mickey broke out. It’s because he thinks he’s lost Mickey forever, he knows he’s lost Monica forever, and he’s not going to get the support he needs from his family when they couldn’t stand Monica and Fiona told him what he already knew to be true, namely that Mickey being an escaped convict would destroy everything Ian worked so hard for if he got involved. So, he does what Ian does. He needs that distraction—he needs to run from these strong emotions he can’t process, so he bottles them up and unfairly hopes that Trevor will provide some of that comfort after cheating on him with Mickey. (Had Mickey been released, I think they would have broken up. Instead, that was the first match Ian lit, but certainly not the last.) Now, the thing is, Trevor said at the start that he didn’t want to be Ian’s friend. He’s also younger and less mature in a relationship, which means he threw the concept of love out there prematurely, just like Ian thought what he had with Kash was love. The death throes of their relationship were a back and forth where Ian was spiraling and seeking comfort, and Trevor was providing some while keeping their relationship pretty amorphous. (Were they exes? Were they friends? Were they people who shared interests and danced around each other? Were they going to get back together? They never officially broke up—it fizzled and resurged, then fizzled for good.) Ultimately, whatever it was that they had couldn’t survive Mickey, Monica, or Gay Jesus. Trevor wasn’t prepared to deal with a full-blown manic episode, and based on his hands-off approach with involving himself in Ian’s life even before the Mickey-shaped bomb got dropped on them, it doesn’t seem like he really wanted to anyway. He did what he’s always done: prioritized his shelter, which I’m not deriding in the slightest. By that point, Ian was too far gone to care that he disappeared anyway. Had the situation been different and he was getting the support from his family that he needed, it doesn’t seem like he would have cared much there either.

5.      Mickey: Finally. Only took over five thousand words to get here. I’ll preface this with something that anyone who knows me from other fandoms is already well aware of, namely that I don’t do romance. Ever. Never been interested. The relationships I’ve always been most passionately interested in are platonic ones, especially “found families” and siblings, which is probably obvious from the other five thousand words here. Ian and Mickey are the first relationship I’ve actively shipped or written for in a fandom. They’re the first I’ve been invested in to this extent. As such, one of the biggest pet peeves I had when I first joined this fandom was the saying, “Ian fell first, Mickey fell harder.” These two wonderful dumbasses face planted on the concrete in front of the Kash and Grab in s1 and never recovered. I could go on forever about these two, but that particular wall of text would probably be too daunting for even the most avid Gallavich stan to traverse, so I’ll keep it fairly brief. As we can see above, Ian has a very strict sense of what he “should” want in a partner. Someone who is moderately successful in their chosen field, makes enough money to at least live comfortably, and typically does something that helps other people (a doctor, a fireman, a youth counselor). These aren’t passionate people. They’re not men who operate on instinct the way most of the people in his life have always had to by virtue of their social standing. They have life goals and opportunities that he envies, and Ian has a great deal of compassion for them when they hit a roadblock or things don’t work out. The amazing dichotomy of Ian Gallagher is that he straddles a line most people can’t between the rough neighborhood that has instilled in him all of his values/behaviors and the middle-class mentality of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps and aspiring to more. Ian has always aimed for what Lip said wasn’t possible for poor people: being successful without having to scam or steal. But as I said way back at the beginning of this manifesto, the South Side is his home. His family is his family. And none of the people he’s been with personify the South Side quite like Mickey—they don’t personify home like Mickey. 

And I think that’s where the initial draw for Ian is. (I’m going to focus on Ian’s side since he’s who your question focused on.) The other guys look great on paper, and Ian’s brain says that that’s what he should aim for. We know better, though. We know that Ian has an enormous heart that belongs first and foremost to his family and their home. His heart says that this person—this dirty, rude, mean, violent person—is home. His heart says this person is everything about himself that he denies having, just like Ian was everything about Mickey that the latter declined to openly acknowledge for so long. I don’t like relationships built on “making each other better.” I really don’t. The wonderful thing about this is that it’s never been that way. Ian didn’t change Mickey. He’s exactly who he’s always been, but he’s grown past the fear of his own emotions and Terry’s response to them. He’s still a thief, a con artist, violent, and rude. Mickey didn’t change Ian either. He’s still rigidly conforming to certain stereotypes of what he thinks he should want, seeking structure (to his own detriment at times), and not a great communicator. The point for them is that they complement each other, not that they make the other a better person—not even that they bring something out of each other that wasn’t already there. That’s what Ian’s other relationships did. They made him shave off his edges so that he could fit a square peg into a round hole, and that’s not happiness. It’s simply what he thought he was supposed to do—what “normal” people did. 

With Mickey, he doesn’t have to worry so much about what is normal or acceptable. He doesn’t have to worry about whether or not his life is objectively “on track,” not until fairly recently. Mickey is the only person he’s ever been with who has accepted him for who he is, faults and strengths alike, without the underlying insinuation that he should be aiming for something else or pretending to be whatever the other person needs him to be in order to care for them. Kash needed an escape—Ian provided it. Ned needed a very specific brand of toy—Ian played that role. Caleb needed a project to feel fulfilled—Ian went along with it for a bit. Trevor needed someone who accepted him as he was but did things his way—Ian did that. To care for Mickey has only ever meant being himself because all Mickey ever really needed was him. Mickey didn’t need an escape from his home—his relationship with his family is more complicated than that. Mickey didn’t need to be saved from his upbringing—it’s what made him the person Ian fell in love with and who he is happy to be. Mickey didn’t need someone to change who he is on a fundamental level because unless it is going to get him into trouble and separate them, Ian never wanted him to. (Even then, it’s about what he does, not who he is.) And yes, I’m sure that there’s a level of excitement that Ian finds exhilarating where Mickey is concerned, but I tend to believe it goes a lot deeper than that. What he finds exciting about Mickey is what Mickey embodies about the South Side—about home. About his own upbringing, but also Ian’s. About Frank and Monica, his siblings, school, work, ROTC—existing and surviving in an environment where it’s not guaranteed that you’ll have money to keep the heat on this winter or feed your family. They spent the early seasons living in a constant state of fight or flight. They couldn’t afford not to. And there’s excitement in that. Look at how many people say that the first seasons are their favorite! There hasn’t been a huge shift in the quality or direction of the writing, just the trajectory of the characters. They’ve gotten older, and their problems have been different. It’s not about survival so much of the time anymore, but those are the storylines that excite us. For Ian, that exhilaration in the constant battle of survival in their neighborhood is sewn into the fiber of his being just like it is Mickey’s. He saw his home in Mickey before they truly fell in love, and when that followed, Mickey became home.

In Conclusion

Ian has spent his entire life looking for the “right” path only to realize that it was laid before him: his family, his small circle of friends, and Mickey. I love that that is coming full circle this season, where [SPOILER ALERT] marriage has almost made him regress a bit to that place where there must be a right way of doing things going forward, and slowly but surely, we’re seeing him loosen up.

Good morning. It’s Ian Gallagher loving hours.

[liam-93-productions]

Note: This article is paid content on Billboard, but due to its relevance in promoting Liam’s work with The LP Shows we decided to share it. 

Liam Payne and his manager Steve Finan O’Connor from Kin Partners knew they needed to stay connected with fans when COVID-19 shut down the touring business, but how? There were dozens of different paths to follow with social media tools, video-conferencing technologies and paid streaming platforms available, but it was all uncharted territory. After surveying his options the former One Direction singer and his manager settled on an unconventional, but ultimately successful strategy. 

“We just decided to give it all a go and see where it led us”, jokes Finan O’Connor. Payne built his strategy around Twitter, YouTube and Instagram - where he has more than 100 million combined followers - but he has also turned to video-conferencing platform Zoom at the beginning of the pandemic to host small online get togethers with fans who contributed to his preferred charities. 

At the recommendation of business manager Alan McEvoy, Payne selected Veeps, the streaming platform launched by brothers Benji Madden and Joel Madden from the multi-platinum punk and rock group Good Charlotte. 

Benji tells Billboard he had seen artists on the platform use social media to drive traffic to their shows, but had never seen a team experiment with different platforms in real time and so quickly hone in on converting fans into online ticket  buyers. For Payne, this meant identifying his most committed fans on platforms like YouTube and Instagram Live and then using tech like Twitter and Zoom to create pathways into the ticket buying queue and eventually into the show. 

“They’re doing fan engagement that I just haven’t seen anyone do”, Benji says. “They really listened to the fans and watched what people reacted to. Liam is not just showing up and doing the live show. He’s spending weeks talking to fans, building out his own livestream world and tapping into all the modern ways that we see people communicate and interact and put content into the world”.

Yesterday Payne announced his third live stream event on Veeps, a Halloween party and show with tickets strating at $10. Finan O’Connor said much of the work Payne did building his online audience during the pandemic has focused on maximizing human connection while finding ways to deliver meaningful and direct experiences. Betweens his first and second show, Payne quadrupled the number of tickets sold and broke the record for most tickets sold to a single show on Veeps platform. Below, Finan O’Connor talks about what he and Payne learned as they developed their pandemic strategy in real time. 

Help Fans Find You in Unexpected Locations

"Social media is like an onion -- there's millions of people on the outside layers and you've got to peel away those layers before you have something you can cook," explains Finan O'Connor. That meant focusing resources on finding, engaging and communicating with individuals willing to spend a few hours with the U.K. singer "without bothering the other people who don't really want to hear you right now."

Early on, they noticed that thousands of fans were queueing up early for Payne's Roundup Show on YouTube, where he checks in with fans and talks about the different projects he is working on.

"There were 60,000 to 70,000 people sitting in a waiting room for half an hour before we premiered an episode, just between themselves talking about Liam, One Direction or whatever else," Finan O'Connor says. "So Liam went and sat the queue with them and started talking with his fans and answering their questions."

Fans started getting excited to have Payne in the queue but, others wanted proof it was really Payne and not a member of his team. So the "Midnight" singer hopped on Instagram Live and began streaming himself answering fan questions on YouTube.

"He was able to talk directly to people in the moment that actually really wanted to be part of it," Finan O'Connor says, growing his numbers both on YouTube and Instagram. To build off the momentum,  Payne now starts an Instagram Live stream prior to shows, telling his audience there ("160,000 to 200,000 fans," says Finan O'Connor) that the concert is about to begin in Veeps, then turns off that Instagram feed and starts the show, first with support acts and then his main performance.

"When we finish, we go backstage and we don't stop the show -- we carry it on for at least an hour [on Veeps]," Finan O'Connor says. "He'll chat with fans and do contests through Twitter to receive free tickets for the next show. Fans will vote for their favorite fans and Liam will announce the winner live on Veeps."

Include the Crowd in the Show

Performing in an empty room while fans watch at home can be a challenge for artists used to feeding off their fans' energy, but after watching a soccer game with cheering artificially added to the game, Finan O'Connor had an idea: add in sound recorded from previous live shows to make Payne's concerts on Veeps feel more realistic.

"They're shouting his name and five to 10 minutes in, you forget that these noises are not happening in real time," Finan O'Connor says. To mimic fans being brought on stage during a concert. Liam would feature people who had been filmed prior to the concert talking about how the pandemic was affecting their lives.

"Fans would say, 'We're struggling. We love this. You're giving us more and going out of your way,' and that's when it really hit Liam -- hit him big time -- because he able to give fans something they really needed," Finan O'Connor says.

Knowing many fans were struggling financially, Payne also sold tickets on a "pay what you want" basis, starting at $10, with a portion of ticket sales going towards the Trussell Trust Charity, which fights poverty and hunger issues in the U.K.

"It was important for him to make the shows about something bigger," Finan O'Connor says. "He wanted fans to feel like we were all in this together."

Build Momentum

When Payne first started thinking about how to approach the online concert series, he met with Benji Madden to get some ideas and inspiration for what had worked for other artists, like Brandi Carlile and LP, on the Veeps platform.

"Benji told him that he wouldn’t be doing just one show. It would be regular shows, building a deeper connection with his fan base in the same way an artist does when they tour in the early stages of their career," Finan O'Connor recalls. "Unlike a live tour where you repeat the same show in each city, his tour has a brand new show each time. Benji was right. The fans have loved the interaction."

Because Payne has fans all over the world, he's also tried to accommodate different time zones. But since it can take weeks and sometimes months to plan a show, Finan O'Connor came up with an easy work-around -- watch rebroadcasts of his shows live with his fans. "We watched along with the crowd, kind of like a director's cut, and he discussed how the songs were written and being played and he was laughing and having a good time," he says. "We went on for an hour and 45 minutes and it was almost like a radio show."

The strategy helped quadruple ticket sales from the first performance called LP Act 1 on July 17 to his LP Act 2 show on Aug. 29. During the rebroadcasts Payne would be "watching the comments and memes videos on Twitter, stop the show, press pause, and showing what someone says there or what someone posts here," he says. "When you're playing a concert, you can't just stop in the middle of the show and chat with people, but with the rebroadcasts, we can stop and bring in two fans via Zoom and ask question and interact and make the fans feel like they're really engaged in the concert. It's just taking the power of live-streaming into an entirely different dimension."

[1dsource]

!One Direction appreciation week!

Hello!

It’s a strange and slightly scary time right now, and it’s probably also a bit of a boring time for everyone whos’ been self quarantining at home.

We here at 1Dsource hope that you’re all doing well and staying safe!

Thank you to the anon who gave us the idea to use this extra time a lot of us have gotten, to send and spread some extra love to our favourite boys!

We will be sharing and making appreciation posts of our dear boys! You can participate by posting any edits/gifs/moodboards/etc. and by tagging us using #1dweek (for this occasion) and #1dsource. Remember to use one or both in the first three tags to make sure your post shows up in our tag! And if we still fail to reblog your content please send us a link to your post and we’ll gladly share it.

This is a trying time for all countries in the world, but more than most Italy and Spain, and their people, have been affected by this tragedy. So we want to urge everyone who participates to please add one or more links to any of these charities for the Italian hospitals: Italian Red Cross, Cesvi per l'ospedale di Bergamo, Specchio dei tempi, and/or Spanish hospitals: Hospital La Paz,  León, Andalucía. Or feel free to add your own local charities ❤

Please join us next Monday on the 30th for #1DWEEK ! We hope you’ll want to participate! And remember, even though we have to stay apart, we’re all in this together ❤

Schedule and charity links under the cut!

So if you too have some extra time to do edits, gifs or any other content, we’d love to see it and share it. The themes are as follow:

Harry Styles appreciation - 30/03

Liam Payne appreciation - 31/03

Louis Tomlinson appreciation - 01/04

Niall Horan appreciation - 02/04

Zayn Malik appreciation - 03/04

One Direction appreciation - 04/04

Favorite tour moments - 05/04

Discography appreciation - 06/04

Funny moments - 07/04

Why we love One Direction - 08/04

Links: 

https://www.specchiodeitempi.org/fondazione/

https://www.cri.it/emergenza-coronavirus

https://www.gofundme.com/f/emergenza-covid-cesvi-per-bergamo

https://www.gofundme.com/f/coronaviruslapaz

https://www.gofundme.com/f/ayudacoronavirus-andalucia

https://www.gofundme.com/f/ayuda-contra-el-coronavirus-leon

more

NB! If you don’t know how or have the time to make edits/gifs/any other content, you can shoot us an ask with a message to show your appreciation on any of the days <3

If you have any questions leave an ask and we will gladly give more info and details. Stay safe, wash your hands. Sending love to all ❤

[hookedonapirate]

Through the Rising Tide

Thank you so much for the beautiful graphic @itsfabianadocarmo​!

Summary: The Jones brothers are polar opposites. Liam's the safe and honorable one, straight-laced and straight as an arrow. The good son.

Killian's the dangerous one, the bad boy with tats, leather jackets, a motorcycle and a questionable past.

The only things they have in common are panty-melting sea-blue eyes, the flat they share in Storybrooke and a rare blood type.

Oh, and apparently their taste in women.

Or rather, one woman.

Feisty.

Blonde.

Gorgeous.

Green-eyed Goddess.

Killian saw her first, but she chose his brother—the nice guy over the playboy. And even though she’s dating his brother, it doesn't make him want her any less. If that's not bad enough, she moves in with them and he has to pretend he's not completely in love with her. His life could not get any worse…

Until Liam dies in a tragic motorcycle accident.

Leaving each of them with one half of a broken heart.

Now Killian and Emma are left helping each other pick up the pieces.

Just as they're beginning to learn how to live in their new reality, another riptide pulls them further into the deep end when she finds out she's pregnant with Liam's baby.

Notes: Because I’ve received some comments saying that this fic is “inscestuous” EVEN THOUGH I CLEARLY SAID IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THIS IDEA TO HIT THE BACK BUTTON, I feel like I have to repeat myself and make it louder and clearer for the people in the back: If you're not comfortable with Emma and Killian’s relationship after she is with Liam, or if the idea of Emma being with both brothers at different times makes you squick or is cringy to you, THIS FIC IS NOT FOR YOU AND YOU ARE NOT INVITED TO READ SO HIT THE BACK BUTTON RIGHT NOW. I repeat, if the storyline makes you squick or is cringy to you, THIS FIC IS NOT FOR YOU AND YOU ARE NOT INVITED TO READ SO HIT THE BACK BUTTON RIGHT NOW! For everyone else, please enjoy!

Thank you @ultraluckycatnd​​ for looking it over!

This story was inspired by Baby Mine by Kennedy Fox, and I loved the book so much and thought it was very much underrated. I’ve wanted to write a fic like this for a long time now because it’s one of my favorite tropes, but after I read that book, I just had to write my own take. Also, I made this post about a Baby Yodarita drink last year when it was trending and since the beginning of this story starts one year prior, 2019 and since Killian is a bartender, it was a perfect way to include the prompt.

The title comes from the lyrics of the song, Lay By Me by Ruben. The particular line goes like this:

"I hope you know through the rising tide That I'll be here and you can lay by my side"

If you've never heard it, I recommend giving it a listen. It's an amazing song and very fitting for this story.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFJbLzEtoZw

P.S. In case you're unable to read the shoulder tattoo in the picture above and are wondering what it says—

"There is no happiness without tears

No life without death

And no true love without heartbreak"

Rated: Explicit for smut (including sexual fantasies, masturbation, implied and detailed sex, etc.) and language (lots of F-bombs).

Also available on: AO3 FF.N

 One Week Later…

  “I’m so sorry I'm late,” Ruby apologizes profusely as she scurries across the bar and rounds the counter. “Please don't fire me,” she pleads, her words full of panic. “I promise it won't happen again.”

  Killian arches a brow, thoroughly amused as he watches her haul ass. Is Ruby Red actually worried about losing her job?

  Well, this is a first. 

  Liam looks up from the paperwork in his hands and actually smiles as he waves off her words. “Don’t worry about it, Rubes.” As he turns around and casually heads into his office... he’s fucking whistling.

  What the hell?

  Killian and Ruby exchange bewildered looks.

  This isn't the only time Liam has left them perplexed lately. He's been easy on his staff all week.

  The question is, what the fuck changed? 

  There can only be one explanation—Liam met someone. He knows this because Liam was like this when he met his last girlfriend. Very lenient and cheerful and whistling all the time. But last time, he told Killian about her. So why hasn’t he said anything this time?

  “I think your brother is broken,” Ruby remarks.

  Killian chuckles and tosses the bar cloth over his shoulder. “Or pussy whipped.”

  Ruby furrows her brows. “I thought you said him not getting laid wasn’t the issue?”

  Killian shakes his head. “No, him not getting laid is why he’s in such a good mood.”

  Ruby’s even more perplexed, not understanding how being sex-deprived could possibly put Liam in a good mood. “Huh?”

  Killian smirks. “He met some lass, and she hasn’t put out yet. Which, being the hopeless romantic Liam is, he’s fine with, but that doesn’t mean he’s not hoping to get some.”

  Ruby rolls her eyes and walks away to begin her shift. “Why are men so fucking complicated?”

  He laughs at her words and the thought of Liam being so nice this entire week over some lass he’s smitten with. Killan’s happy for Liam, but to be honest, his brother's happiness makes him kind of bummed. Because it's reminding him of how unhappy he is. He’s been unhappy and kind of pissed all week. Ever since last Friday, when that angel never came back. 

  He was so enchanted by her.

  He keeps asking himself why she never returned to him. He’d thought they’d had a connection, he’d thought they’d shared a moment. He’d thought she’d felt the same attraction for him he’d felt for her. Was she just leading him on? Or did she find some other bloke who gave her more attention than he could that night?

  He wishes he knew.

  Killian suffers through another evening without seeing Emma enter the bar. He keeps eyeing the door, keeps waiting for her to appear and approach him to explain herself, to supply him with some sort of explanation. But she never shows. 

  The next night is no different. Same agony, different day. But this time, his brother isn't here to poke fun at and distract him from the blonde bombshell weighing on his mind.

  The dim lamp light cascades over the living room when Killian trudges through the door after three a.m. Tossing his keys on an end table, he chucks off his jacket and looks down, seeing Liam's boots laying haphazardly on the floor by the door. Which is odd because he's always yelling at Killian for leaving his shoes on the floor instead of storing them in the closet. 

  Killian shakes off the thought and throws his jacket over a chair before heading to the bathroom. He always needs time to wind down after his shift, but tonight, he just wants to sleep and hopefully forget about Emma for a few goddamn hours. But in order for him to do that, there’s something he must do, first. 

  He’s been unbearably hard all week from thinking about her. So as soon as he feels the hot water spraying his skin under the shower head, he wraps his hand around his cock and strokes himself, his stiff, wet flesh easily slipping through his fist. He can’t help it, though. Emma had stirred something inside him. Something he’s never felt before. 

  He knows this is a bad idea, he knows he shouldn’t get this worked up over someone he’s only spoken to once. But at the moment, he’s too hard and his head’s too foggy with lust, his blood running too hot when he remembers how she’d smiled at him, how she’d bitten her bottom lip, remembers her soft curves and how fantastic her ass looked in those tight jeans and how that sexy, pink lace had clung to her breasts. He groans, needing so desperately to ease the tension before he goes completely mad. 

  Pressing his free hand against the shower wall as the hot stream cascades down his back, he pumps himself harder and faster, grunting as he imagines her pretty lips on his mouth... on his chest... on his stomach... wrapped around his cock. Imagines her humming around him and growing wet from tasting him in her mouth. Imagines what her soft, silky tongue would feel like on him. Imagaines how good her pussy would feel around his cock. Imagines her on top of him, naked and writhing, her skin shimmering in the moonlight as she rode his dick. 

  He can almost hear her moans and short pants in his ear as he imagines taking her breasts in his hands, squeezing firmly while he fucked her good and hard until she was screaming out his name, her walls squeezing him tight as she came all over his cock. 

  His body goes rigid, a rough, drawn-out groan rippling through his throat as Emma's name tumbles from his lips. Seconds later, his hand and stomach are a hot, sticky mess as his hand stills around his pulsing length. His heart is pounding and his breath is ragged as he watches the aftermath of what he’d done disappear into the drain. 

  After he washes the night away from his body (and feels the urge to touch himself again when he lathers his balls and softened cock with soap) he rinses off and steps out of the shower without giving in to more temptation. He dries off with a towel, pulls on a pair of boxers and heads to bed, feeling no shame for what he'd done in the shower. For jerking off to visions of Emma, who’s almost a complete stranger to him. He knows he should feel some kind of guilt or remorse, but right now he can’t find it within himself to feel sorry. He needed that.

  And maybe now, he’ll be able to stop thinking about her long enough to get some shut-eye.

  But it doesn’t bloody work.

  He tosses and turns, still unable to rid her from his mind, and he’s not even sure why. Well, actually he is. She was gorgeous and sexy and playful, and he’d wanted to get to know her. He’d wanted to know everything about her. But apparently, she hadn’t wanted the same from him. 

  He’d waited over an hour for her at the bar the night he met her, and would've waited longer if not for Tina approaching him and chatting his ears off. He'd wanted to either ignore her or tell her he wasn't interested, but he didn't want to be a jackass. And when Emma never showed, he thought about taking Tina up on her offer and bringing her home in an attempt to forget about Emma. To forget about her smile or her eyes or the memorizing light surrounding her or the way she winked at him as she walked away from the bar. 

  But he knew it wouldn’t be fair to Tina to be with her while thinking of another woman. He may be a dashing rapscallion, but he's still a gentleman.

  He’d seen Emma with Mary Margaret and Ruby, and he was half tempted to cash in a favor from Ruby and have her obtain Emma's number, and maybe he should've. But Emma obviously made her choice and he's afraid she would be creeped out by his advances. So he never did.

  Just as Killian is drifting off to sleep, something yanks him awake, but it's not thoughts of her. Rather it's…

  Thump. 

  Thump. 

  Thump.

  Moaning.

  Thump.

  Cursing.

  Thump.

  Grunting.

  Thump.

  What the actual fuck?

  Liam knew Killian had a late shift tonight and yet he decided this was the night to get some action from the mysterious woman he's been seeing? 

  Killian even asked Liam about her, but he completely denied it.

  “Not seeing anyone, my arse,” Killian grumbles, but even though the walls are paper-thin, he's pretty sure he can't be heard over the sounds.

“Yes! Yes! Yes! Oh God, yes!”

  Bloody hell.

  The walls are so thin, he can hear every pant, every moan, he can hear it every goddamn time the headboard slams against the wall.

  “Fuck!”

  Why now? Why wait until four in the fucking morning? Or have they been at it all night? 

  Killian groans and grabs his headphones from his nightstand. He slips them on and plays some music, turning up the volume. He closes his eyes, trying to erase everything from his mind, but he can actually feel the wall rattling and he’s surprised the bed doesn’t come crashing through the drywall.

  He curses and grabs the pillow next to him, covering his face with it. He wants to pound on the wall and tell them to shut the fuck up, but he knows he deserves it. He's done the same thing, he's brought a lass to his bed while Liam was in his room, forced to listen to every sound. 

  Besides, part of him wants to high-five Liam for pleasuring this woman so well and at such a late hour. He wonders how many hours they've been at it.

  He's kind of proud of Liam, actually. He just hopes this one doesn't cheat on Liam like the last girlfriend did.

  “Bloody… fucking... hell!” Liam groans loudly. 

  With one final hard thud, the noises cease.

  Finally.

  Killian removes the pillow from his face and is soon able to get some sleep, but only for a few hours before he's awake again. 

  Unable to fall back asleep, he wipes the sleep from his eyes and drags himself out of bed.

  Coffee.

  He's not sure if the smell wafting through the apartment is due to lack of sleep or if Liam got up and made a pot. Which would surprise him, considering all the amorous activities he engaged in last night. Killian would think he’d be exhausted after that.

  As he nears the kitchen, he can hear pots and pans clanking around, so he knows he's not imagining the aroma of freshly brewed coffee filling the flat.

  When he enters the kitchen, his eyes are immediately drawn to the coffee pot on the bar counter, and it almost appears to be glowing. “Thanks for making coffee,” he says appreciatively, opening the cupboard door to grab a mug. Though he's not sure he should be very appreciative, considering Liam's to blame for Killian's lack of sleep.

  He and the little vixen he had in his bed last night.

  “I barely got four hours of sleep, thanks to all the banging and screaming coming from your—” His words are frozen in midair when he turns around and sees the nearly bare ass sticking out from the refrigerator door.

  That's definitely not Liam.

  His girlfriend, rather.

  And she’s dressed in nothing but a pair of pink laced panties and one of Liam’s oversized dress shirts.

  Killian smirks and fills his cup before turning around and leaning against the counter, admiring the view while he sips his coffee. There's a half-naked blonde pillaging his refrigerator, but right now he couldn't give a fuck.

  He’s too busy appreciating the view, because bloody hell, she has a dee-lectable ass.

  Liam did good.

  It’s a good thing she’s already been claimed by his brother because otherwise, she’d be in big trouble. Or, rather, not a good thing. It’s quite a shame, actually.

  “What was that, babe?” The sweetest voice pulls Killian from his thoughts as she rises, carrying eggs and milk in her hands. She sets the items on the counter next to the refrigerator and turns around.

  He lifts his gaze from her pretty ass, and when his eyes meet hers... his jaw drops to the fucking floor, his face paling. He almost drops his coffee mug.

  You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.

  He has to blink a few times to make sure it’s actually her. But maybe, just maybe, he’s still sleeping, and this is all just a terrible dream.

  “Killian?”

  Nope. He’s wide awake.

  And the woman standing in his kitchen, wearing nothing but panties and a shirt that falls just past her butt is real. And just like that, Killian’s hopes of being with this woman shatter into a million pieces. 

  “Emma?”

  There’s a shocked expression plastered on her face, but he doubts she’s more surprised than he is right now. He had never suspected the woman making all those noises in his brother’s room to possibly be the same woman he met in the bar last week. The same woman who’s been on the forefront of his mind ever since. The same woman he’d jerked off to thoughts of only a few hours ago.

  “You two know each other?” Liam’s voice sounds through the kitchen when he enters and glances between them, seeing the recognition flickering in their eyes. He walks across the kitchen and pulls a half-naked Emma into his arms, pressing her body against his. He hadn’t even bothered to throw on any clothes either and is only in his boxers. 

  “We met at the bar last week,” Emma answers, because apparently Killian lost his ability to speak. His brain is too occupied with the fact that Liam and Emma are together, their hands all over each other as she’s semi-straddling his thigh.

  Well, fuck.

  He just doesn't understand how this happened. How had his charm not worked on Emma like it had worked on so many women before her? And he was actually genuine with her. He wasn’t charming her just so he could get into her pants. He actually wanted to get to know her. Besides, even if he ended up taking her back to his flat, he had a feeling he wouldn’t be able to have just one night with her.

  “Is that so?”

  “Yeah, the same night you and I met. He made me a Baby Yodarita.”

  “A Baby Yodarita?” Liam parrots, amusement obvious in his tone.

  “Yeah, I made it up based on Baby Yoda, but Killian was happy to accept the challenge.”

  Liam chuckles and takes her chin in his hand, bringing her lips to his. “Of course he did. He’ll do anything for tips.”

  Killian balls his hand into a fist. He didn’t make her that special drink to get a tip from her. He didn’t even charge her for the damn drink.

  He wants to strangle his brother for saying that and for having his paws all over Emma, but he’s still trying to process what she’d said about meeting him the same night she met Liam. When had she met him? They weren’t there at the same time, so how did they meet? It must have been outside the bar.

  Wait a bloody minute. 

  Killian’s eyes widen when something occurs to him. Was Liam the reason Emma never came back to him that night?

  Emma’s eyes dart between them when something occurs to her too. “So, this is your brother?” she asks Liam. “You said you lived with him.”

  “Aye. And I’m sorry if he startled you. I thought he’d still be sleeping.”

  “It’s fine,” she assures, waving off his apology.

  Wait a damn minute. Liam’s sorry she was startled? Killian was the one kept up by all the noises coming from Liam’s room.

  “And what, I don’t get an apology for being kept awake by all the noises? You do realize I can hear everything through the paper-thin walls, right?”

  Liam and Emma exchange blushing smiles, but neither of them seems apologetic. “Sorry, we couldn’t keep our hands off each other last night,” Liam comments, brushing his nose against hers. She smirks, displaying her total agreement as she caresses his cheek.

  Killian staves off a groan of disapproval. “I gathered that,” he says casually, trying not to sound completely gutted.

  “So you two must’ve met while I went on that wild goose chase David sent me on,” Liam guesses, thankfully changing the subject.

  “Wild goose chase?” Killian inquires, furrowing his brows in confusion. 

  “Aye, it’s a funny story, actually.” Liam chuckles, his eyes glued to Emma as she smiles at him. He finally tears his gaze from her to look at Killian as he wraps his big hands around her little waist. “So before I left to run those errands I told you about, I received a text from David asking me to look after his little sister who was bar-hopping with his wife. So I get there and she’s nowhere to be found. Well, when I returned, I ran into this stunning angel just outside the bar,” he says, squeezing her hip and pulling her closer. “Well, I quickly find out, she’s David’s sister.”

  “Oh,” Killian utters, still shocked by this entire set of circumstances. It made him forget little details, like the fact that Mary Margaret is her sister-in-law and therefore David is her brother.

  “Anyway, she missed her Uber, and after we started talking, I offered her a ride home,” he looks at her again, with googly eyes and a blushing smile as she gazes at him with the same love-struck expression on her face, “and the rest was history.”

  “Wait, so that’s why you left the bar that night? To spy on Emma?” Killian glances at her, a little pissed she’d put up with Liam stalking her. “And you weren’t pissed at him for that?”

  “A little, at first,” she admits shyly, “but more so at my brother for asking him to spy on me in the first place. Besides, look at this face,” she says, cupping Liam’s chin in her hand as she smiles at him. “How could I possibly be mad at a face like this?” He grins and leans in, capturing her lips with his.

  Killian wants to ask her exactly when she left the bar, but he’s afraid of what the answer would be. He stares at Liam, wondering why he never mentioned her. “So, why did you tell me you weren’t seeing anyone when I asked you about it?” Okay, and part of him is hoping to get him in trouble with her.

  But instead of looking pissed, guilt flashes in her eyes. Like she had something to do with it. 

  Liam eyes his brother apologetically. “We didn’t want to tell anyone about us yet. David’s my good mate and we don’t know exactly how he’ll take the news when he finds out about us. He’s very protective of Emma, if you couldn’t already tell. So we haven’t told anyone.”

  Killian scoffs. “Since when haven’t you been able to tell me anything without worrying I wouldn’t keep your secret?”

  “I know, I know. I should’ve just told you. I shouldn’t have lied.” He gazes at Emma again, a little more serious now as he caresses her cheek. “But I could tell right away Emma was something special, and I didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize my chance to be with her.” Emma blushes and smiles as he rests his forehead against hers. “ Very special,” he emphasizes, brushing his thumb over her button lip.

  She presses a palm against his chest. “I could tell you were, too,” she says sweetly, as though they’re having an intimate conversation. As though Killian’s not even in the room, inwardly dying inside. If only Liam knew what this was doing to his brother. 

  “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me,” Killian assures them, trying to disguise how unnerved he is that she picked Liam over him.

  Liam pulls his head back suddenly, as though he just realized something. “Wait, you mean to tell me you saw Killian first that night?” he asks her.

  “Yeah… why?” she asks dubiously.

  A slow smile crawls over his lips as he looks at Killian. “Because, I think this is the first time someone has actually seen my little brother first and ended up with me, instead of the other way around.”

  Emma cocks a brow, intrigued by this. “Really?”

  Killian doesn’t even bother to correct Liam for calling him little brother. He’s too busy seeing red.

  “Aye. Most women prefer the bad boy type over the nice guy,” he says with a smile. “But not you. If I didn't know you were a keeper then, I sure as hell do now.” He presses the pad of his thumb against her chin and kisses her forehead. 

  Killian thinks he’s going to be sick as he watches them. 

  This is all wrong.

  It was supposed to be him taking Emma home. It was supposed to be him bringing her pleasure over and over again until both of them were sweaty and exhausted and yet still couldn't keep their hands off each other. It was supposed to be him standing in the kitchen, wrapping his arms around her half-naked body and kissing her shamelessly as his brother watched. 

  It wasn’t supposed to be the other way around.

  Killian can’t get over the irony of it all. The irony of him jerking off and fantasizing about the same goddamn woman Liam was having sex with right down the hall. 

  It makes him wonder how many times Liam's been in this exact position. How many times had he laid his eyes on a lass, only to come home and find her in his brother’s arms? How many times had Liam touched himself with thoughts of a woman in his head before finding out she was messing around with his brother?

  He’s not sure; all he knows is karma's a bitch.

  “I should probably start breakfast before the milk and eggs get spoiled,” Emma says when she notices the items are still on the counter.

  “I told you I would make breakfast,” Liam says as she saunters over to crack open the egg carton. 

  She smirks at him over her shoulder. “You already gave me a hot breakfast in bed.”

  Liam quirks a brow. “When would I have done that? You were in my arms until you got up to use the bathroom.” 

  Killian takes a sip of his coffee, grimacing as he tries to block out their conversation. They’ve only been together for a week and already act like a fucking married couple.

  “True, but before that, you gave me some delicious sausage.”

  Killian chokes on his coffee and spits it out. Do they not realize he’s still in the room?”

  “What the bloody hell, Killian?” Liam upbraids as he inspects Emma to make sure none of the coffee spilled on her. 

  But Killian only got it on himself. He curtly slams the coffee mug on the counter and walks across the kitchen with clenched teeth, ripping a piece of paper towel from the roll to wipe off the coffee he spit out.

  “Sorry,” Emma says after realizing she probably shouldn’t have made the sausage remark with Liam’s brother in the room.

  You think?

  “Why are you sorry? I’m not,” Liam murmurs against her ear and grabs her hips from behind as she tries to crack some eggs into a bowl. “You can taste my sausage anytime.”

  She looks over at him and smirks. “Hmmm, I like the idea of that. But right now, it’s my turn to make you breakfast.”

  Liam growls and spins her around, picking her up like she weighs nothing, and placing her on the counter. He buries his face in the crook of her neck, gently biting her there, his words muffled against her skin as his hands slide up her thighs and under the hem of the shirt she’s wearing. “I can think of something else I’d rather eat.”

  That’s it.

  Killian’s going to vomit. He tosses the paper towel into the trash and storms out of the kitchen, his face probably green from how ill he’s feeling right now. 

  How the bloody hell did this happen? 

  “Killian.”

  The sound of his name coming from her lips causes his jaw to clench. She and Liam seemed so lovesick, Killian’s surprised they were able to tear themselves away from each other for two bloody seconds.

  When he spins around to face her, Emma’s holding his mug in her hands, her eyes flickering with apology. “You forgot this,” she says, offering it to him.

  “Thanks but I can’t stomach anything at the moment,” he grumbles, sounding angrier than he had intended.

  “I’m sorry,” she murmurs, probably so Liam can't hear her. “I didn’t know he was your brother.”

  “There’s nothing to be sorry for. It’s not like you and I were ever together,” he says bitterly as his eyes drop to the mug she’s holding. “On second thought, I’ll take that.” He grabs the coffee from Emma’s hands and gulps it down, since it’s no longer hot. Emma doesn’t speak as she stares at him, probably unsure of what to say.

  Killian lowers the mug and gives her a hard look before turning around and heading to the bathroom, deciding he needs another shower. After what he’d done in the shower while thinking of Emma and then after what he’d witnessed and heard in the kitchen, he feels filthy all over, almost as if he’s covered in slimy worms. He has to scrub himself down since he can’t scrub away the images that will now be permanently burned in his brain. 

  The images of Liam and the girl Killian wants but knows he can never have.

  Fuck… my… life.

Tagging people who have shown interest. Let me know if you would like to be added or if I missed you. @itsfabianadocarmo @resident-of-storybrooke @snowbellewells​ @onceuponaprincessworld @viajandosinalas @teamhook @captainswan-shipper88 @jamif @katielovesstarcrossedlovers @uhthreeyuh @lfh1226-linda @babyyouremyqueen @sthonour @julesep3026 @fairytalewhispersinmyheart @andiirivera @wefoundloveunderthelight @wickedsw4n @eleveneitherway @eherron14 @ouatpost @transparentclodsludgeweasel

[suwya]

Till the Stars Had Run Away - Chapter 3

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Summary:  Killian Jones was a voyager. Actually, he was many things, or at least he had been - a lieutenant, a brother, a loving boyfriend - until everything had turned upside down and his life had hit an all time low. So, he gave up. Aboard his spaceship he abandoned Arcadia, his planet, navigating the stars and other solar systems in search of... well, he still didn't know what he was searching for, but his rule was "never remain in the same place longer than necessary."

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Rating: M

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Prologue; Chapter 1, Chapter 2

AO3

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A/N: Thank you @thisonesatellite​ for being the fastest and best beta reader I could ever ask for. And thank to all of you who are reading this.

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Chapter 3 . . It takes more courage to 

dig deep in the dark corners 

of your own soul and 

the back alleys of your society 

than it does for a soldier

to fight on the battlefield.

(W. B. Yeats)

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Many, many years ago, 

in another solar system.

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Arcadia was Killian’s place. His home. Not a happy one, but the only one he had ever known. Growing up as a mechanic slave of a greedy merchant was not the best childhood one could hope for, but at least he wasn’t alone, his older brother Liam had always been by his side. 

An unexpected explosion in the factory where they used to work put an end to the merchant's life when Killian was only a teenager.

The brothers were finally free. 

Liam worked as hard as he could to ensure his brother had a decent life. Killian wasn't as disciplined as his older sibling; he was more of a hothead who often had to be rescued from a whirlpool of rum and games, if not fights. But Liam never gave up, he was always there to remind his younger brother of what was important and to keep him on the right path. 

When they both came of age Liam managed to enroll them in the Royal Army. A few quiet and happy years followed. The boys worked and studied hard and they soon reached high ranks. Liam was nominated captain of The Jewel of the Crown, the fastest spaceship on the planet, and Killian was his lieutenant. 

Everything seemed to run smoothly.

Until one day their corrupted King put them in charge of a suicide mission, just for his need for power. Killian was skeptical about it, but Liam was stubborn and loyal in his duties and he accepted the mission.

On the way back home Liam died in his brother’s arms, and Killian swore to himself to not to obey another order for as long as he lived.

He took the heart of his beloved brother and fixed it on the inner part of the ship system: connected by electrodes Killian managed to keep at least his brother’s conscience alive and speaking. A poor substitute for what Liam was, but a constant reminder of how much he lost. 

Killian then kept the ship and renamed it The Jolly Roger, and flew away from his planet in search of adventures, living every day as his last, and never giving a damn about anything else but his own survival.

In the beginning, Liam was the voice of wisdom and rationalism; he tried to talk his younger brother into not throwing away his life, but Killian didn't want to listen. It was too painful. So he started a life of selfish revelry, while not wallowing in self-pity and drowning his sorrows in every local tavern. As time passed Liam went quieter and quieter, until the day he stopped talking to his brother.

One day, on a strange armored planet Killian had landed, he met a beautiful and strong woman, Milah, and he fell in love with her almost at first sight. She was already married, but she wanted to leave her husband, and she chose to live a life of adventures with Killian. But her husband was jealous and resentful, and unfortunately, he was also a very rich and powerful business owner.

Killian took Milah back to Arcadia, to show her the places where he grew up. It was an unpleasant surprise to find out that his planet had been absorbed by the Lepka Industry, a company that, for its benefit, had depleted all the planet’s resources until it was no more able to produce anything useful, and left the planet inert. 

Mr. Gold, leader of the Lepka Industry and also Milah’s husband, had found out where Killian was from and had started to enact his revenge: slowly but successfully. First Killian’s origins, then his love.

Gold showed up one day when the two lovebirds were having a night walk together, and he started a fight with Killian that ended with the latter one losing a hand and with Milah's death in front of Killian’s eyes.

While his destroyed planet was disappearing in the distance from his rear-view screen, tears were running down Killian’s face. Tears of sadness for everything that could have been and wasn’t; tears of rage and frustration for being powerless in front of such an evil creature; tears of longing... “I miss you, Liam.” He whispered to the silence of his spaceship cabin.

The red LED started blinking again and the cold metallic voice spoke: I'm right here little brother. I will never abandon you.

Tears ran even harder down Killian's cheeks.

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 ~·~·~·~

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Present time.

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The rest of the day passed quietly, well almost. Henry was eager to discover everything he could about the spaceship, and he made Killian answer a lot of questions about the control system, the mechanical parts of the engine, and more specific stuff. He learned how to read the radar and that you need an extra tank of fuel, in case the planet you want to go to delays your permission to land.

Dinner was a pleasant relaxing moment for the three of them. The meal was simple. Given that not every kind of food was going to survive an intergalactic trip, they had had to limit their choices between some dehydrated vegetables and frozen spicy cream, but Killian soon found out that it was one of Henry’s favorite desserts.

“Can I have some more, please?” Henry asked after emptying his second bowl. 

“You’re going to explode.” His mother pointed out.

“Oh, but I’ll die happy, mom.” He answered with a big grin.

Killian smiled and gave a mischievous look to Emma “The lad is growing up.” 

“Killian, don’t.” She admonished him. But he ignored her and handed another full bowl of cream to Henry with a wink. “What…?” She started, but then: “Do you ever follow an order?”

“Only mine,” Killian answered matter-of-factly.

Emma rolled her eyes and shook her head, while Henry and Killian were sharing a laugh.

“I'm not sure I enjoy the idea of you two as best buddies,” Emma stated.

“He’s my father, of course we’re going to be best buddies!” Henry exclaimed.

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~·~·~·~

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The morning after Killian woke up early, as usual. They weren’t supposed to land before another four or five days at least, but he was used to long driving journeys. He had slept only a few hours, while he could use the help of the autopilot, resting on a hammock he had previously hooked behind the two leather seats that stood opposite the dashboard so that he could easily take control of the ship in case of emergency. But he didn’t feel tired, quite the opposite, he was feeling excited and curious towards what the day with his guests was going to offer him. He distracted himself preparing breakfast, and soon after the table was ready for the three of them, Emma appeared from her cabin, followed by a suspiciously silent Henry.

The boy sat on his chair and devoured his meal with his eyes fixed on his bowl. No word came from him and as soon as he finished, he stood up and went back to his cabin, closing the door behind him. Killian had the impression that if the door wasn’t automatic he would have probably slammed it.

Emma was still savoring her tea and she seemed quite concentrated on the liquid in her cup.

Killian sat back on his chair and crossed his arms; he tilted his head and kept looking at her for a few minutes, but when he understood she had no intention of having a conversation, he cleared his throat and asked: “Have I done something wrong?”

“It’s not your fault.” She stated and then finally looked at him. “Yesterday, before Henry went to sleep, I told him the truth. Or at least part of it. He now knows that you’re not his father. But he’s not upset with you.” And after a pause, she added: “He’s angry with me, for lying to him for so long.” 

“Plausible.” Killian nodded. “Henry seems a perceptive boy, give him some time to let it all soak in.”

The rest of the day was much more boring than Killian expected. Neither Emma nor her son were very talkative, and after dinner, Killian wasn't sure if he was more upset by the long hours flying or the tense atmosphere in his ship.

Emma and Henry were sitting at the table, each one immersed in their own electronic screens, reading… whatever damn things they were reading. 

Killian snorted, he put the autopilot on and stood up from his seat.

“If you would excuse me, I have a part of the turbocharger to check.” But as soon as two pairs of worried eyes looked at him, he hurried to explain: “Oh, it’s nothing serious, but better not to leave loose ends, right?”

Killian started his way down the stairs that led to the engine room, but after just a couple of steps, he stopped and looked back. “Henry, would you like to come with me? I may need a hand.”

Henry nodded and ran past him down the stairs. Killian smiled to the ever characteristic enthusiasm of the boy, and before resuming his descent he gave a side look to Emma and winked. She furrowed her brows in question. 

Down in the storage room, Killian found Henry waiting for him. The lad was probably wondering why they hadn't entered the engine zone yet. But Killian ignored his silent question and went directly to a locker from where he retrieved a little box and something that looked like a toy sand mill with a switch on the upper right side and a glass flask at the bottom; he deposited everything on the small table in the center of the room.

“Wanna hold a bright star?” He asked the boy.

“That's impossible.” Henry was skeptical.

Killian hummed. “I wouldn’t say that. Given the many places I’ve visited and everything I’ve seen in my life, I’d say that there are just a few things that are not possible.” 

He lifted the upper lid of the mill while saying: “We need to generate enough energy for the turbocharger.”

Then he opened the box and took a plastic bag with some grey powder in it. “You see this? This is stardust.” He said and immediately knew he had the boy’s attention.

“Did you collect it?” Henry asked.

“I like adventures, but I’m no fool. It's extremely dangerous to go near a star, especially one which is going to implode soon.  You would not come back to tell the story.” Killian shook his head. “I bought it some time ago in an exotic market. Now, all you have to do is to pour some of the contents inside the grinder. But be careful, it's a rare item, don't spill it.”

Henry took the bag with reverential care and started to put some dust into the mill. “Like this?”

“You're doing great. That should be enough. Now switch it on.”

Henry closed the upper lid and turned it on. The sand started to swirl faster and faster until it began to shine so intensely that the mill could hardly be seen through the amount of light.

“This is awesome! It totally seems like a shining star.” The boy was staring in awe with wide-open eyes.

“Aye. I thought you would like it.” And after a pause, Killian added: “You can keep it if you want.”

“But what about the turbocharger? You will have to make another one.” But just after Henry said the words, he clearly understood the truth behind it. “Oh... you don't need stardust energy. You didn't even need my help, did you?”

Killian nodded. “You're a clever boy.”

Right at that moment Emma entered the room. “It’s time for you to go to sleep, kid.”

But Henry ignored her. He switched the mill off and the light softly disappeared. Without averting his eyes from it, he whispered: “It would have been cool if you were my real dad.”

Killian swallowed hard, a strange lump was forming in his throat, but that wasn't the right time to analyze it. 

“You already have an amazing mother, as far as I know.” Killian briefly looked up at Emma, who smiled slightly at his poor attempt to mediate.

Henry shrugged.

“Just because someone helped in…” Killian searched for the best word to describe it, “creating you, it doesn't mean he's your father.” 

“What about your dad?” The boy asked. 

“Not the best example. My mother died when I was still a wee lad and my father, well, he did the best he could to raise my brother and me. At least he tried for some time. But he was addicted to games and he liked to bet more than he could afford. One night, surrounded by his creditors, he ran away. Never knew anything about him after that. My brother and I... uh... we were the ransom for his misdeeds. He sold us to a merchant.”

“Sold? You mean you were a slave?” The astonishment in the boy's voice was visible.

“Aye.” Killian sighed.

Henry wrinkled his nose in repugnance: “That's awful!” 

“Aye. But I had my older brother with me. He was probably a much better father figure to me than my real papa. He taught me everything I know.” 

Henry thought about it for a few seconds then he nodded. He took the mill in his hands: “Thank you, Killian.” 

“No need. Now, be a good son and go to rest as your mother said.”

The boy turned around towards the stairs. Emma waited until he was almost upstairs then she looked at Killian and mimicked a voiceless thank you before following her son.

.

.

~·~·~·~

.

.

Later that night, Killian was concentrating on flying when he heard the sound of the sliding door behind him opening and closing. Emma soon appeared in his peripheral view. She slumped down on the seat next to him.

“Henry is finally asleep.” She let him know. 

“You should rest as well, Swan.” He had happened to address her using her surname lately. He liked the way it sounded, and he thought it suited her. Swans were quite rare on any planet he had been, and they were known for their purity and beauty, but also their fierce temperament, especially when protecting their offspring. 

“What about you? Shouldn’t you get some sleep too?”

“I usually don’t sleep much.” Was his evasive answer.

“Are you going to be at the helm all night?” She asked, a bit concerned.

“As soon as we are out of this group of meteorites I’ll put the autopilot. No need to worry. If there’s any problem, my ship will wake me up.” He reassured her.

But she didn’t move from her seat. She stared at the sidereal starscape; her gaze appeared to be lost somewhere far away. “It’s more than an automatic voice. Isn’t it?”

Killian fixed his sight to the horizon, as well. Emma thought that she may have trespassed some unspoken boundary, that the question she did was probably far too intimate to receive a proper answer. But after a few minutes of silence, he sighed “Aye. It’s my brother Liam.”

“How...?” She started to ask, and he could hear the wonderment in her voice, but then she changed the question: “What happened?”

“We were serving in the Royal Army, back on our planet. Liam was the captain of this spaceship. I was his lieutenant. Our King entrusted a perilous mission to us; I knew it was a suicide mission, but Liam was stubborn and very strict when it came to following orders. He didn’t make it. He died in my arms. I…” Killian breathed deeply. “I put his heart in the innermost part of this ship’s system. Powered by strong hydrogen electrodes I somehow manage to preserve his… soul? Being? I don’t even know what it is, but at least I still hear his voice.”

She didn’t react immediately to his story. She was probably assimilating the new pieces of information about him. Killian internally cursed because he couldn’t stop concentrating on the outer path, while he would have liked to have given her his full attention, to understand what was brewing in that beautiful head of hers.

When she kept silent for longer than he could bear, he couldn’t help avert his eyes from the meteorites just enough time to see her smiling at him. That was unexpected. 

“I’m sorry for your brother, but now I understand your rejection of royalty.” She chuckled softly: “and your troubles in following orders.”

Killian found himself smiling too.

It was nice to spend a few moments with her sitting next to him, it reminded him of when he used to sit exactly where she was now, just to keep his older brother company during the night travels. A feeling of long-forgotten joy at the domestic situation warmed his heart. 

They managed to pass the group of meteorites without any major consequences, and now there were only stars and distant planets in their sight. “This is beautiful,” Emma stated.

“Aye. It is.” Killian agreed, then he pushed a couple of buttons and lifted a lever in front of him activating the autopilot. “And now, I can finally stretch my bones on that hammock.” 

“How can you sleep on that thing?” 

“You wouldn’t say it, Swan, but it’s quite comfortable.” Then, wagging his eyebrows, he added: “I could show you how to relax on it?”

What was he doing? Was he flirting with her? But the shared moments before had left them in a bubble of closeness, and he was feeling audacious.

His attempt gained him a roll of eyes from her. “Thank you for the offer, but not tonight.” She stood up and Killian expected a strategic retreat from her. But she went closer to him and bending down she whispered in his ear: “Maybe another time.”

Killian’s jaw dropped open. Was she flirting back? While the door of his cabin was sliding close he could only mutter “Bloody Hell!”

.

[seriouslyhooked]

Honeymoon Fades (A CS Fic)

CS oneshot that provides a snippet into their married life after 30 years together. Includes fluff, feels, and cuteness. Short, sweet, and the perfect weekend treat. Find on FF here and AO3 Here.

A/N: Hey all! This is a short drabble based on the song ‘Honeymon Fades’ by Sabrina Carpenter. This story picks up on Emma and Killian when they’re children are all grown and they’ve been together nearly 30 years. Spoiler alert – the cuteness perseveres after all their years together, and in some ways they’re like honeymooners, still as in love and happy as they were just post-wedding. Hope you enjoy the cuteness and thanks so much for reading!

The silence in this house was still a foreign thing to Emma. After so many years of raising her family, and decades of craziness that she wouldn’t trade for anything, quiet moments still felt like a real commodity. They used to be so few and far between, and every time they found them, she and Killian made use of them. They lived a life of constant motion, and they were always go-go-go, but it kept things fresh and interesting. They were never lacking for love and excitement around here, at least they never used to be.

Now, however, things were different. Take this morning for example. It was 9:00 and she was only just rolling out of bed. She was off today from the station, where she was beginning to take a number of steps back. Her brother Neal had been working with her and her Dad for years, deciding he wanted to join the family business, and he was now the newly elected town sheriff. Emma still worked at the station and ran point on many aspects of Storybrooke’s response team, but even with that, there was never enough to do. She ‘worked’ from 9-5 Monday to Friday, mostly just conferring with the townspeople on what needs they had and what the town could do for them. And then the weekends she had off, totally free, never any hiccups. Just two whole days of… well, whatever the hell she wanted.

Despite the fact that this free-weekend thing was normal (it had been about a year since she agreed to the schedule shift), she was still awed by the premise. When the kids were still home, nearly every moment that she wasn’t working was dedicated to them, to their games, and plays and homework and lives. But now their nest was empty. The kids all had their own worlds and agendas, and weekends were becoming a time when Emma and Killian could genuinely relax.

This morning was the perfect example. After waking up bright and early in her husband’s arms, and after their heated exchange of what Killian always called ‘good morning pleasantries’ (code for sex that had no right to be that hot after how long they’d been together), Emma had fallen back asleep while Killian rested only briefly before heading out to go for a sail or run some errand or another. No matter how much quiet they had, her husband was still an early riser. No amount of downtime would change that. But for Emma a lazy morning was a luxury, one that she soaked in and cherished after years of never having them.

As she showered and got dressed, Emma found herself smiling, knowing that she was a lucky woman in every possible way. She was blessed with healthy kids, a network of supportive friends and family, and a true love who was always in her corner. The sun was shining in Storybrooke, and the summer heat was already beginning to climb. She had a whole host of possible paths to wander today. She could go for a hike, or tend to the garden out back. She could drive up the coast and explore the world beyond, or she could take it easy and relax, luxuriating in this happy, stress-free moment that they currently had going. But whatever she did, Emma knew she’d have company for the ride.

Moving downstairs Emma caught the scent of bacon and coffee in the air, she closed her eyes and hummed out a sound of contentment. Spoiled – that was what she was, and as she walked into the kitchen and saw Killian flipping some blueberry pancakes she leaned against the doorway and bit her lip. Damn, nearly thirty years together, and he was still too hot to handle. Standing there, making her breakfast with that mix of salt and pepper in his hair, her pirate was still fit and ready for whatever fight might come their way. There were more laugh lines etched upon his skin, and he might move just a touch slower than he did back in the early days, but the light in his blue eyes that sparked when he caught sight of her still pierced down to her soul, and the sexy grin of his made her heart skip a beat.

“Finally, the lady wakens,” he joked and Emma shook her head and smiled as she kissed him quickly and then moved around him to pour herself a cup of coffee.

“Sounds like someone missed me.”

“You know how I feel about being away from you, Swan.” The growl in his voice sent a thrill of anticipation down her spine. Damn this man and his sexiness. Thirty years wasn’t enough to get used to him, and some days she still felt like a honeymooner as opposed to a couple long settled and established.

“You’re not a fan as I recall,” she teased and she let out a yelp when he swatted at her ass with the hard metal of his hook. She blushed in spite of herself, thinking of all the times that particular appendage had made itself known before. She could tell from his deep chuckle that he read her like a book, and she cleared her throat and changed the subject. “Any thoughts on what we should do today, Captain?”

“Whatever my wife wishes, I reckon,” he quipped as he placed their plates on the kitchen counter and he held out her chair, tucking her in like a true gentleman before taking his own seat. They discussed the possibilities as they ate, and he caught her up on some friendly neighborhood gossip that he’d heard down at the market, but when their meal was done and they moved to clear the dishes, Emma noticed a little sadness in Killian’s eyes. Immediately she knew the reason for it.

“You miss the kids, don’t you?”

“Aye, love. How could you tell?”

Emma didn’t have the heart to tell her pirate that his expression was totally transparent. Instead she came to cuddle with him, her arms encircling him as he did the same. This was her favorite spot, tucked in her with her true love. It was always her safest space and the place she felt like things would always be okay. Now though it was Killian who needed that anchor, and she was more than willing to give it to him.

“Because I miss them too,” Emma confessed, knowing it was silly. She saw all of her children nearly every day, and they were all in constant contact. Still it wasn’t the same, and time, as beautiful a gift as it was, was also all too fleeting. Years moved by so quickly, and some days it felt like she blinked and that whole chapter of their lives had flown by.

“It feels like only yesterday the whole house was filled with Hope, Liam and Leia running about, and with Henry coming home any chance he got. Remember the morning we found the little ones all in the mud out back?”

“Which time?” Emma asked, laughing even as she shook in horror.

The sight of them that day was so damn funny – covered and filthy and dripping in liquid dirt. But it had also been a logistical nightmare. They tracked the stuff everywhere, ruining the couch and a carpet, and the magic each kid was capable had created some kind of spell where all the stains were permanent. It was maddening but also so freaking funny, and of course, Killian had been a superhero, wrangling all three of them back outside to get cleaned off on the back porch. In less than a day he’d had the couch and carpet replaced, consulting Regina about the rest of the mess, all while Emma was on a shift at the station, and her cheeks flushed at the memory of the night they shared together when he got home. There were thousands of nights like that in the long arc of their marriage, but that one stuck out. She was especially grateful for everything he did for her and their family, and they’d made some truly lasting memories as a result.

“Or the Halloween they started the prank war with your siblings?”

“Oh my God,” Emma groaned remembering. Her kids at that point were so beyond toilet papering and throwing eggs. They had the benefit of understanding their true love magic to a certain degree and they’d made use of it. She and Regina had spent days unmaking the mess, and the town was still a little whacked out energy wise until after Christmas.

“How about the day Leia decided she wanted to be a vet?” Killian said, laughing straight out this time.

“She brought home six cats, four bunnies, and three dogs. I still never figured out where she found them all.”

Okay that wasn’t exactly true. Leia made a ‘wish’ that she could give all the homeless pets a home, and her magic had crafted its own attempt at a spell. As a result, all of the strays in a ten-mile radius arrived at their house, all of them charmed by her daughter, and cute even if they were most of them worse for wear.

“To be fair she was only trying to help them all. And she had a plan, didn’t she? A special room or space for every last one of them.”

“She was fourteen at that point. She knew there was no way we could keep them all, even if Hope was away at school and Liam was on his way to college soon too.”

“Perhaps, but we kept more than a few.”

Emma nodded, thinking of their two dogs and two cats. The other animals had all found homes either with her parents, Henry, or Belle. Even at the time she’d found it endearing, and look at where they were now. Leia was away at her last year of college, and she’d been accepted early to the university’s veterinary program. Even if that one day was madness, Emma knew it was the beginning of a real vocation, which she wanted each of her children to feel.

“You know what I think will help?” she asked, circling back around to how much they missed their family.

“Rum?” Killian asked, though he was kidding. He’d cut back considerably as time went on, but he loved pretending rum was still the answer to all things. Always with the jokes, this man.

“Maybe a little. I was thinking you, me, and maybe a bit of sailing?”

“You had me at you and me, love.”

Emma laughed at his attempt to blend a movie quote from long long ago into their conversation. Despite his being here for so many years, Killian still delivered anything having to do with pop culture like he was fresh from the Enchanted Forest. It made for many a funny moment, and this was no exception. The humor of it was only compounded by how quickly he sprung into action. No sooner had she spoken then idea than he was moving about, grabbing things they might need, and packing them a picnic lunch for them to enjoy hours from now when they were out on the water.  For a moment she watched him, delighting in how adamant he was to spend time with her and get to go make some brand new memories, but before he could get too carried away, she pulled him into her, clutching at his shirt and smiling at him happily.

“I love you, Killian. A little bit more each and every day.”

“For this day and all days,” he agreed, before kissing her sweetly and resting his forehead against hers. In that moment they just enjoyed this, breathing in the peace and calm they’d fought so hard for. And even when they did break apart, and were back in action once more, Emma carried her love for him always, reveling in how magical it was to truly have a happily ever after.

………………….

I hope we stay the same, hey Honeymoon

Unexpected, this thing that we fell into Lie, so connected You came at a time when my heart was selective Didn't have to choose my love Was accepted, yeah

Now we're running your luck one on one You were sent to me like a one of one And, now we're going I just want no one Nobody else

I hope we never change I hope we stay the same I hope that we can love through the pain After the honeymoon fades I hope we never change I hope we stay the same I hope we can love through the pain After the honeymoon fades

After the honeymoon fades, yeah

I remember when we met we was all in each other's bed And we were spending every second we had And now that it's official it's hitting a little different What the hell we're gonna do with these bads, no yeah

And now we're running your luck one on one You were sent to me like a one of one And, now we're going I just want no one Nobody else

I hope we never change I hope we stay the same I hope that we can love through the pain After the honeymoon fades I hope we never change I hope we stay the same I hope we can love through the pain After the honeymoon fades

After the honeymoon fades

And I hope it tastes the same Even if it's the best way

Honeymoon fading with you (Fading with you) Honeymoon fading with you (Fading with you) Honeymoon fading with you (Fading with you) Honeymoon fading, fading

Post-Note: So there we have it. Just a happy little dose of future fluff today. I find that writing these kinds of stories always brings me such a warm feeling, and though I know no show can go on forever, I still wish we’d seen more glimpses into how good things would have stayed for CS for years to come. Anyway, my wish for all of you is that this will have brought you some joy today, and that this chapter finds you healthy and well. I appreciate all of you reading and messaging me and leaving comments. It truly means the world, especially because I am mired down in work and stress and worry. I’m hoping to keep posting some chapters in the meantime, but if I get a bit spottier with the frequency, I hope you all will understand. Anyway hope you have a great rest of your weekend and thanks again for joining me on this fluffy little jaunt!

[anatomical-heartt]

Song Recommendations

First time writing for syd! She might not be 100% in character while I’m getting used to her

God I love ladies mmmm

Just like any other day, school had been boring and way too long with way too many people. But now it was time for your favorite part of every day, walking Syd home. She was your best friend, and even though you knew Dina was hers, you knew there weren’t many people Syd actually liked so knowing you were cool enough for her to be friends with made you perfectly happy. You actually lived a block before the street where Syd and Stan lived, but you didn’t mind the walk back, and unbeknown to you Syd thought about the simple gesture a lot. You both were in the middle of your walk making small conversation, currently talking about Stanley and music.

“He’s got me listening to some indie band now, bloodwitch?”

“Oh yeah? He madd me listen to them sometime last semester,” you started giggling, “you should’ve seen the look on his face when I told him the only song I liked was motorcade!”

“You liked motorcade? I’ll definitely listen to that song next,” Syd replied smiling, as she pulled out her phone, “how do you spell it?”

You grinned, spelling it out as she typed ‘motorcade’ into her notes app. The action was simple, but it gave you a little bit of butterflies to think that Syd thought so highly of you, even though it was just about your taste in music.

“You know, we could listen right now, I’ve got the song downloaded.”

“Oh yeah? Okay.”

You fumbled pulling your phone out and untangling your earbuds before queuing up the song and holding your phone out, but Syd just stared at it.

“We aren’t gonna listen together?”

“Oh, I don’t have a splitter on me, and I’ve only got the one pair of earbuds. I should’ve brought it!”

Syd let out a small chuckle, “That’s okay, we can share the earbuds loser.”

“Oh, haha, right,” your hands fumbled a little more as you placed the left earbud in your ear and held the right one out for Syd.

You looked away when Syd’s gentle fingers brushed over yours as she took the right earbud and put it in, getting a bit flustered.

“Alright, let’s hear it,” She said looking at you and smiling.

You took a moment to look at Syd smiling like that, since she was normally pessimistic and had been having a rough time since her dad died. Her smile was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen, and you’d been missing it for a while. Before you could let your eyes linger too long you pressed play and resumed walking. The baseline started and you glanced at Syd to see her initial reaction.

Her eyebrows were scrunched a little, in deep concentration as she digested the song. You looked down at your feet, concentrating on not falling, since you had to stand awkwardly bent to match Syd’s height so you both could wear the earbuds. You also had to stand pretty close, and your heartbeat was not letting you forget that. Because of your proximity, your hands kept bumping into each other at your sides. You almost shoved them in your pockets, but you liked the feeling of Syd’s knuckles brushing against your own. And since she wasn’t moving her hand, neither were you. You thought about how badly you wanted to hold her hand, when Syd slid her fingers between yours and actually did it.

You looked up from your hands to see her biting back a smile as she looked right back at you. A smile crept onto your face and you ducked your head and faced forward to unsuccessfully hide it from Syd. The feeling of her hand in yours felt... good. It felt secret, it felt soft. Softer than any boy’s hand you’d ever held before and certainly get better. It felt right. The butterflies in your stomach gave you that confirmation, and they intensified by 10,000% when you felt Syd’s lips brush your knuckles. She kissed your hand so gently, so nonchalantly, before bringing it back you your sides, you weren’t sure if you had just imagined it. Her shit-eating grin gave it away though; that it actually happened. That cocky son of a bitch.

As the song faded out and the next one began to play, Sydney made no move to remove her earbud or hand, so you continued on with a happy swing of your interlocked hands. But as all good things come to an end, the Novak house came up on your right. Reluctantly, you paused the playlist and removed your earbud and took Syd’s. She stood facing you, looking at you, and the weight of her eyes made you a little antsy- rocking back and forth on your feet and not letting your eyes rest on one thing for too long.

“So...” you said, trying to break the silence.

“So?” Syd smirked a bit.

“That was... new. It was nice.”

You dared to meet her eyes, but immediately blushed and looked away when you saw her grinning.

“Yeah, it was.”

Her short answers were probing you to keep talking to fill the silence but you desperately fought to hold your tongue to save you from over sharing, but in the end you lost like always.

“So was that... not... platonic?”

Syd raised an eyebrow. Here comes the rambling.

“Well It’s just because I know hand holding should be normalized. Americans are so touch starved yknow? Holding hands doesn’t have to be romantic. It can just be two pals expressing their affection- their uh, platonic affection- but I also know just friends don’t kiss each other’s knuckles but I’m a girl and you’re a girl and are you sure about this? I-“

Sydney cut you off, “I’m sure.”

“Oh. Wow okay. This is uh-“

“Wait...” another cut off, “are- are you sure?”

“Oh of course. Of course. No you uh- if you could feel the butterflies I have right now you would definitely know...” you trailed off, nervously laughing and cheeks heating up.

Syd chuckled.

“Butterflies huh?”

You gave an embarrassed, sheepish nod.

“Me too,” she admitted, looking away from you for the first time for the whole conversation.

There was a moment of silence as you both were entering this entirely new chapter of your relationship.

At a loss for words, you finally mumbled out, “Syd I- I really like you...”

“I really like you too.”

“Okay, cool...”

Because of your height difference, you had to lean down and you slowly got closer to her face. This had to be quick- in a place like Brownsville it was uncertain if this was safe to do out in the open. Your plan was to kiss her cheek, but she turned her head so you met her lips instead- not that you could complain.

The tip of her nose was cold against your hot cheeks and her lips tasted like that peach chapstick she loved so much. She grasped your free hand in hers and the back of her other hand caressed your cheek. The kiss was soft and slow and innocent, and as you pulled away you looked at her and she was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen in your life, with that special smile as the cherry on top. You both quickly looked around the street for signs of someone saw you, but felt a little more comfortable when you didn’t seem to see anyone. The silence was back, and your inability to not break it made you speak up.

“I definitely liked that a lot.”

Syd giggled and took a moment to look over your face.

“I did too. I’ve got to get inside now but- will you call me later tonight?”

“Sure. Yeah. Of course. I’m uh- I can’t wait,” you smiled.

“Awesome.”

Syd walked up her driveway as you stood at the base watching her. She stopped at the door and turned and waved goodbye as she slid the key in the lock. In a burst of confidence and dorkiness, you blew her a kiss. She may have been far away, but you didn’t miss the widening of her eyes and lips curling up. You waved goodbye as she entered her house and you turned on your heel to start your walk home.

“Hey syd?” Liam called from somewhere within the house

“Yeah goob?” Syd answered and she put her keys in the dish.

“Did you just kiss (Y/N)?”

Syd froze. She knew she was caught red handed so there was no use in denying it.

“Yeah?” Syd winced a little, waiting to hear Liam’s response

“Cool. She’s pretty.”

“Oh you have no idea...”

[ongaku-ato-kakikomi]

Howdy! Sorry to bug you, but could I request the main Monster Prom cast helping their S/O through an anxiety attack? Mine get really bad, to the point where I can't move or talk, and having someone by my side always helps me through them a little easier. Thank you so much, I love your writing!

(A/N): I am so sorry for how long this took me to get out, hun! I’m really glad you reached out with this request, I always glad to write anxiety attacks imagines because I know it helps a lot of people. I really hope you’ll enjoy these!

Warning: Anxiety attacks.

Miranda Vanderbilt:

You and Miranda were attending a royal ball at her palace when you suddenly excused yourself out of the grand room, telling your girlfriend that you needed to go to the bathroom. She let you go easily, not noticing the stressing look on your face as you left, and continued to party with her family and her ‘happy’ serfs for while. Though she starts worrying when you don’t seem to be coming back, and so she decides to leave the ballroom for a few moments to try and find you.

Her first guess is to go to the nearest bathroom, since this is where you said you were going when you left her side, only for her heart to drop in her stomach when she enters the room: your body’s laying on the ground while trembling, tears coming out of your wide opened eyes while painful sounds escape from your throat every two seconds.

“Love!” She can’t help but panic at the sight of you like this, the two serfs that were accompanying her watching her drop on her knees without knowing to do. “Love, what happened? Are you hurt?”

Your eyes snap towards her when you hear her voice, your mouth slowly opening to try and form words… but without any success. Miranda can see the pain in your eyes and how you seem to silently scream for her help, but what kind of help do you need? How can she know?

“Don’t stand there!” She snaps at her serfs, who shrieks back in fear at her outburst. “Go get the royal doctor!”

“Yes, Princess!”

They leave the bathroom as fast as they can, her blue eyes sending daggers to the door as it closes loudly.

“M…Mir…”

Her head turns back to you in a second and she takes one of your hands in hers, squeezing it to give you some comfort. “Don’t try to speak if it hurts, love. Help’s on the way.”

‘It’s useless’, you want to say. You can already the anxiety slowly decreasing with her presence. You don’t know you didn’t tell her why you were really leaving the room… maybe if you had told the truth, she would have come sooner… Then again, maybe you should have taken the time to tell her about those anxiety attacks you get sometimes… but you were so scared that she would see you as weak that you didn’t say anything.

“Mir…anda…” Your body slowly stops trembling and you squeeze back, not liking to see the worrying tears in her eyes. “I’m… feeling better… already…”

“Do you really, love?” You manage to slowly nods, the tears coming out of her eyes profusely in relief. “Oh, I’m so glad…!��

She helps you sit up from the ground, not liking to see you laying on that spotless yet filthy in her eyes bathroom floor. “T-thank you…”

“Oh my dear, what was that? Why were you in so much pain?”

“Ah… that was… a very bad anxiety attack…” You give out a weak smile when you see her eyes go wide in shock, wanting to reassure her. “It happens sometimes, but… I’m better now that you’re here.”

“Oh, love!” She doesn’t wait for another second to throw her arms around your body and to hug you close to hers, surprising you. “You must promise to tell me next time you feel one of those coming! I absolutely hate the idea of you hiding your pain from me…”

Your lips stretch out in a genuine smile just as you hug her back. “Okay… I promise…”

Damien LaVey:

Damien was watching one of his favorite beauty shows in the living room while you were somewhere else doing whatever. He just knows you walk by the living room at some point and gave him a smile before disappearing towards the other end of the house, not saying anything. He didn’t think much of it,  you both share this apartment, you can do whatever you want.

His head snaps back towards your shared bedroom when he hears a loud noise, like something that suddenly dropped on the floor or something. He picks up the TV remote and lowers the sound so he can try to hear you when you’ll respond.

“Everything alright, babe?” He frowns when he doesn’t get a response, and so this time he pauses his show and stands up from the couch. “(Y/N)?”

He walks over the closed door of the bedroom, opening it like it’s nothing only to reveal darkness.

“(Y/N), you’re okay?” He flips the light switch, but his eyes go wide when he sees your body on the floor. “Oh shit!”

He runs over to you and turns your body towards him in a panic, the stress rising in his entire being when he hears your heavy breathing and your eyes going in every direction… as if you can’t settle them anywhere.

“Fuck, (Y/N), what’s happening to you?”

You don’t answer and he doesn’t know why. Can you speak? Can you even hear him right now?

“Fuck, fuck, fuck-” He takes his cellphone out of his pocket and calls the first number he sees, his mind clouded with worried and confused thoughts.

“Since when do you call me, Damien”

Great. Out of all people, he had to randomly call the one person who annoys the hell out of him.

“Liam, something’s wrong with (Y/N), they’re not moving or talking, they-I… Fuck!”

“… are you sure they’re not sleeping?”

It wouldn’t be the first time Damien showed the world his stupidity.

“For fuck sake, no, they’re not fucking sleeping!” He notices the tears coming out of your eyes when he hears a whimper, his own eyes widening in upper fear. “They’re breathing really loud and keep looking everywhere, I…”

“Sounds like a bad anxiety attack.”

“The fuck am I supposed to do with an anxiety attack? I-” Damien gives out a loud sigh, not liking how your body seems to start shaking. “Just tell me what to do, please.”

“Okay, listen: you need to make them look at something specific… then help them ease down her breathing. If they need to, let them hold onto you, even if it hurts. They’re gonna need you to slowly bring them back to reality.”

“Okay, okay… Okay, I’ll try to do that…”

“Call me again if it gets worse.”

Liam hangs up before he can do anything else, and so Damien drops his phone on the ground before he puts his hands on each side of your head and turns it towards him.

“Babe, look at me. Look at me.” Your eyes finally settle on his face, a small light of recognizance going through them once you do. “You need to breathe… okay? Just breathe. In… and out… Can you do that for me?”

You stare at him for a while, your breathing still heavy, until you finally let out a long breath out of your mouth then shakily breathe in again, repeating the process a few times while concentrating on Damien’s face.

“Good, good… just breathe, that’s it, babe. You can do it.” He gives out a small smile to give you more encouragement, his hands moving down to take yours and make you hold onto his arms. “You’re here, I’m here… everything’s fine.”

You blink rapidly for a moment, your mouth slowly opening. “Everything’s… fine…”

“Yeah, yeah, that’s it.”

After a few minutes of helping you breathing, you eventually manage to move again. So he helps you sit up, his hands moving behind your back to gently rub it with his fingers in a comforting way to help ease down your trembles.

“Feeling better?”

“Yeah…” You give him a small smile, your eyes still full of tears. “I’m sorry…”

“No need to.” He wipes a few tears away from your cheeks as he kisses your forehead. “I’m glad I could help.”

Scott Howl:

Scott has no idea about what is going on right now.

One minute you were both leaving a party that was happening at one of his cousin’s places, your smile still present on your face while he was waving goodbye at his family member from the sidewalk, the next you were dropped against the side of the car with tears streaming down your cheeks, breathing loud and body constantly jolting from electrical panic.

“(Y/N), what’s happening? What’s going on?” He’s standing in front of you with his hands in front of him, ready to catch you if you ever fall even though he can feel his own tears soaking his face. “Why are you hurt?”

He remembers how sometimes evil things will reach your mind and you would suddenly be paralyzed by them, not being able to speak or move because of it.

“Is it the evil things? I’m sorry I couldn’t stop them to reach you…” The only he gets is a croaked whimper coming out of your throat, which makes his bottom lip quiver in fear. “I should have been paying more attention… I should have been a good boy.”

Poor boy doesn’t understand the concept of anxiety attacks. He just thinks something invisible is out there trying to hurt you and he wasn’t strong enough to stop it. All he can think to do was to bring you close to him and to wrap his arms tight around you, his tears falling harder and harder while he seems to not be able to control his cries.

“I’m so sorry…” He doesn’t seem to notice how your trembles seem to slowly go away, still focused on the fact that he couldn’t stop this to happen to you. “I’m so sorry, (Y/N), please forgive me.”

He eventually resumes to just hold you and cry loudly along with your silent ones, his tight embrace giving you enough comfort and strength to get a grip back onto reality. It’s when you finally manage to hug him back that he notices the change, and so he frees you to look at your face.

“You’re back!” His lips break out into a wide smile despite the tears. “The evil things freed you.”

“You… freed me, Scott.” You give out a small smile back, your eyes sweetening despite still feeling a little out of it.

“I did?”

“Hm-hm…” You slowly close your eyes, suddenly feeling really tired. “… can we go home?”

“Yeah, of course!” He doesn’t let you say or do anything else that he’s already opening the door of the car and helping you sit down, his fingers struggling to put your seatbelt on for a while before he finally succeeds. “I’m glad I fought off the evil things…”

You let your hand cup his right cheek, giving out a loving smile. “Me too.”

Liam de Lioncourt:

Liam comes in the apartment holding bags full of groceries, a neutral expression settled on his face as he takes a few steps deeper into your shared home. He didn’t mind you didn’t come with him to shop, since it’s something he knows you do alone quite often anyway, though he did notice that you weren’t looking well. He hoped it wasn’t something too bad and that you’re feeling better, since he knows how bad your stress can get sometimes…

He stops in his tracks when he spots you sitting against one of the kitchen’s walls, your hands grabbing your hair as you whimper in complete fear and can’t seem to be able to move.

“(Y/N)!” He doesn’t hesitate to drop the grocery bags on the floor, not caring if the almond milk is now spilling all over the floor, before he instantly drops on his knees in front of you and brings your hands away from your head. “I’m here. I’m here, okay? Listen to me, you are not alone in this.”

Your eyes flicker back to him and you open your mouth. “L… L… L-Lia…”

“You don’t have to speak. Just breathe, okay? I won’t leave your side. Breathe in, breathe out.”

This isn’t the first time you’ve had an anxiety attack in front of Liam, nor would it be the last, he’s afraid so. But the purple vampire has been alive for so many centuries, he knows what to do to help you, and he always does his best to bring you back to him.

“That’s it. You’re doing great, (Y/N).” He rubs your arm to give you warmth and comfort while you continue concentrating on your breathing, your eyes starting to blink rapidly. “See? Everything’s fine. We can get through anything.”

“A-anything.”

“Yes, anything.”

Your eyes look away from his eyes for a second, a small glint of worry passing through them as you look behind him. “The… milk…!”

“I’ll clean it up later, we didn’t even need it anyway.”

“I-I feel bad though…”

“You don’t have to.” His lips press against your forehead instantly cease down your worrying thoughts, a small smile coming onto your face. “The important thing is that you’re okay.”

Polly Geist:

Polly knows exactly what to do when she sees you paralyzed on the couch.

Sure, she a ghost who likes to party too much and all the time, but you have to remember that she was a human once… a human coming from a family full of successful people, which meant that she had to be as successful as her ancestors and, well… sometimes, the stress would get to her and she would have anxiety attacks. She was lucky enough to always have her mother by her side, but now she had to be by yours.

She floats over the couch without even thinking, settling down beside you with worry in her eyes. She hates to see how violently your body’s trembling and to hear the cries coming out of your throat, but she knows that you need right now more than anything else in the world, and so she wraps her arms around your torso and brings you close to her.

She whispers a few comforting things into your ears, trying to soothe you down with words first, which seems to work a little, then she starts humming your favorite song until she finally settles to sing the lyrics as low as she can.

The singing helps you immensely, though you’re still going through your anxiety attack, you can feel it slowly decreasing with each note that Polly sings to help you. It’s once you finally stop trembling that Polly stops singing.

“You’re feeling better, babe?”

“Y-yeah…”

“Good.”

She then slowly kisses your temple in a loving way before hugging you even closer, both of you simply staying silence for the rest of the evening and enjoying each others’ embrace.

Vera Oberlin:

Both you and Vera were fleeing from a failed heist when you suddenly dropped against one of the walls, your breathing loud and getting stuck in your throat over and over as Vera tried to ask you what was wrong. You couldn’t tell her anything though, the anxiety taking over your entire being, but Vera couldn’t wait for you to calm down and so managed to drag you into a closet so to not get caught… which is where you’ve been for the last ten minutes.

Being stuffed in a closet with another person doesn’t help with any anxiety attack, especially not when you’re in the middle of a heist with security guards on your trail. All you could do is look helplessly for Vera’s face in the dark as you tried to get some air into your lungs, Vera simply holding onto your arms to try and let you know that she’s there and that she’s not leaving you here.

You’ve told her about your anxiety attacks and how bad it could get, but she never had to deal with one of them before. Her sister never got one, nor has her friends ever did, so she doesn’t know the first thing on how to deal with someone having one. But she knows that if she doesn’t do something soon, your attack is gonna get even worse and even more painful, and that’s the last thing that she wants to happen.

She suddenly remembers a moment from her childhood…. Where her father was a little late to pick her up from primary school and she suddenly believed that he had abandoned her there, just like her biological mother did when she was born. She remembers starting to breathe heavily and crying, just like you’re doing right now, and she was only able to stop when her teacher made her sit down and put their hand on her heart to help her settle it down.

Maybe that could work with you?

She steady your back with one of her arms and puts her free hand on where your heart is supposed to be, your eyes soon catching hers as soon as she does so.

“W-what are you-”

“Shh…” Vera puts her forehead against yours, hearing your shaky breath coming out of your mouth soon after. “Just breathe, okay? I got you.”

You somehow manage to move a shaky hand up to put against hers, your breathing slowly but surely calming down a few seconds after.

“T-the… heist-”

“We can stay here as long as you need.” She gives you a small smile, just happy to be able to help even a little. “If they come in here, I’ll kick their ass.”

Your lips slowly stretch out into a smile, feeling glad to have her with you in this moment.