#feel free to send to them otherwise I'm only answering for Angel

[hellsgreatestperformance]

Do your muses believe in soulmates?

This is an ask I got a long time ago. I don't even know if the person still follows me and will see this. I really had no idea how to answer this before. I'm not sure I still do, but I'm gonna try.

I have pondered this before about Angel. Would he? The answer is a mix of yes and no. When Valentino was sweet to him he may have fallen in love ( something I originally had the opposite thoughts on ) and thought he was his soulmate, and Angel easily getting attached likely didn't help. It was only when Valentino showed his true colors that the soulmate thing flew out the window. Despite Angel signing a contract for fame It doesn't mean he understood the mental toll it was gonna take on him. And it wouldn't be fair to assume that.

Angel is so used to men wanting him for sexual acts. He's used to just having men want him. But you never know who actually gives a shit about you versus the people who just live your status and the idea of you. I feel this may have made him consider soulmates as stupid and that it isn't real. He likely assumes he's never finding it. However, I think when he starts to build a relationship with someone and starts to trust again, he may actually start to believe it can be real and that thinking it wasn't was due to trauma. Sorry, this may not be the best words but my thoughts.

[allisluv]

hihi! this is my first time ever writing an ask thingy bc i don’t know how tumblr works but,,,anyway (feel free to laugh at me if im doing this wrong 😭)

imagine modern!finnick with an s/o who just got their wisdom teeth out (not saying this bc i just got mine out what…) imagine him trying not to laugh when he reads the attempts at text messages that his s/o sent right after surgery and calling them to make sure their okay. he shows up to their house to make sure their okay and comforts them through the pain. he doesn’t laugh at how puffy their face is or the mindless babble they come up with, he just holds them and spoon feeds them the soft food their allowed to eat <3

would you still love me if i was a worm?

pairing: finnick o'dair x fem!reader

content warnings: established relationship, use of pet names, reader has just had her wisdom teeth out, fluff, set in a modern!au <3

a/n: i'm so sorry it took me literal months to get around to this lovely! i hope you're feeling better and your wisdom teeth didn't cause a lot of pain! you requested just right, nonnie, feel free to send it any other requests you have and i'll try not to make you wait as long this time around lol <3

wc: 0.8k

Finnick kills the engine outside of your house and grabs his phone from the passenger seat. The screen continues to light up with unintelligible text messages and he can’t help but laugh to himself. He knows for a fact that youre okay, mainly because he rang to check on you before he left his house, otherwise he would be panicking at the string of confusing messages. 

His hands are overflowing with supplies as he pushes open the front door with his hip. He doesn’t bother to knock; you already know he’s coming. “Honey, it’s just me!” He announces, setting a tub of ice-cream on the marble countertop in the kitchen. 

He frowns when he sees you, and you open your arms for him to give you a hug. “Oh, my baby,” he murmurs, crawling across the sofa and pulling you into his lap so you’re straddling his hips. You rest your face against his chest and he runs a hand through your hair, smoothing it out of your face. “Oh, baby, how are you feeling?” 

“Ouch,” you mumble, nuzzling your face into the fabric of his shirt and wincing when a spark of pain shoots up through your mouth. “Hurts,” you say softly. 

“I know, angel, I know, that’s because you’re coming off of the anaesthetic.” He coos, smoothing his hand up and down the length of your back. You mumble something a bit incoherent that he doesn’t quite catch and he presses a kiss into your hair. “What’re you saying, darling?” 

“Stay,” you mumble, clinging to the back of his shirt as tears spill out over your waterline. 

Finnick’s heart just about cracks in two in his chest at the sight of you crying. “Oh, honey, I know it hurts, but I’m not going anywhere. I’m gonna stay right here until you are all better. I’m gonna take care of you, yeah?” 

You nod against his chest as he shifts positions so that you’re cuddled into his side. He rests his chin atop your head and peppers your temple with soft kisses. 

Blindly, he reaches out for the remote control and you whine at the loss of contact, no matter how small. He thins out his lips to stop himself from chuckling. With the drug-induced state you’re in, he assumes you would only take it as him making fun of you, so instead, he says, “I’m not going anywhere, baby. I’m just gonna turn on The Wizard of Oz. I know that’s your favourite. How does that sound?” 

You huff at his explanation, registering somewhere in your mind that he’s telling the truth, but still wanting to be stubborn nonetheless, but in saying that, it’s hard not to melt when he’s being so damn nice to you. In fact, hes being so damn nice that it sends you into another wave of hysterical sobbing. 

Finnick doesn’t berate you for crying or try to figure out what’s wrong; he knows you’re feeling frustrated and in pain. He won’t get a straight answer out of you with the state you’re in, anyway, so he just pulls you closer to him and presses play on the recording of The Wizard of Oz. 

Once you’ve calmed down and your body has stopped shaking with sobs, he coaxes you into laying your head in his lap. You mumble something stubbornly but after a bit of gentle coaxing, he manages to get you to lie down. 

You drift in and out of consciousness as he threads his fingers through your soft locks of hair. He hums when you mutter something about the movie, agreeing with you despite the fact that he has not got a clue what you are talking about. 

As the end credits start to roll, you seem to sense that the movie’s over and straighten up, rubbing your knuckles in to your eyes to rid them of sleep. 

Finnick chuckles under his breath. You glare at him, but there’s no mirth behind it. Your eyes spin around to the big tub of Ben and Jerry’s ice-cream on the countertop and you head straight for it, with your boyfriend hot on your heels. 

Finnick grabs a bowl from the cupboard as you search for a spoon, but by the time he turns back around, you’ve already started scooping the ice-cream straight from the tub into your mouth. He laughs, shaking his head fondly as he takes you by the hand and coaxes you to sit back down on the sofa. 

Your coordination is still a bit off, both from the pain and the medication, and you keep missing your mouth. Finnick gently takes the spoon out of your hand and starts to feed you, smiling softly when you insist that you’re not a baby (---- well, at least that’s what he thinks you’ve said; it’s still quite hard to understand you), 

Regardless of your protests, your hunger wins, and you let him feed you. You flick through the channels before settling on a rerun of Pop Idol, and once half the tub is gone and you’ve had enough, he sets it on the coffee table and pulls you back into his arms. 

“Finn?” You mumble, slightly more coherent now. 

“Yes, angel?” He kisses your forehead. 

“Would you love me if I was a worm?” 

Finnick stifles a laugh into your hair.

[irkimatsu]

Filling a request for @christinaatyourservice92! She requested a Husk x Reader where Reader "cleans up nicely", so to speak.

Husk/Reader, featuring Angel as an enthusiastic wingman. Some other characters kind of exist I guess. Reader is wearing a dress but otherwise their gender isn't specified; we're friendly to mascs in dresses here. Nothing further than dancing and kissing, anything with Husk is going to be a slowburn. But I love a good slowburn.

I'm still new to this fandom and haven't written most of these characters at all before, so please be patient with me! And feel free to send requests; I can't promise to have something for all of them, but who knows what could happen if you strike my fancy! (Probably only answering Husk related ones for now, though. Fuck I love Husk. Give me some Husk time for a bit. Husk... ahem.)

A ball wasn’t the worst bonding idea that Charlie ever had.

Granted, calling whatever was going on in the lobby of the hotel a “ball” was a bit of an overstatement. There weren’t that many guests, for one thing; the hotel didn’t have enough people for that, even including the employees. The decorations were set up quickly and cheaply, making the whole thing look more like a child’s birthday party. Entertainment was provided by Alastor, who stood off to the side and played instrumental ragtime music through his staff, presumably wondering what kind of nonsense this whole affair would lead to.

It had already led to Niffty dancing through the lobby with a “partner” made of bug carcasses, dust bunnies, and assorted other unmentionables, so that was a start.

Husk didn’t have to put in any sort of effort for this mess, but something had inspired him to clean himself up for once. He’d changed into a full suit and forgone the top hat, and he stood by the tables gently sipping a glass of red wine instead of chugging whiskey like it was a water bottle.

Angel, of course, noticed the discrepancy.

“Ooh, lookit you, all fancy,” he remarked as he took a spot beside Husk. Angel wasn’t too keen on the whole event, but he’d taken the opportunity to dress up in a nice skirt and wig, not one to waste a chance to play with his appearance. He certainly wasn’t giving up the chance to show off his legs, given how short his skirt was. “What’s the occasion?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Husk asked. “Not like I’m the only one dressed up.”

“Yeah, but I was born to look good. I ain’t showing up to even the shittiest party without showing off what I got! You, on the other hand, look uncomfortable.”

“It’s these wings,” Husk said. “It’s so damn hard to find a shirt that fits ‘em.”

“So why not take the shirt off?” Angel suggested, sing-songy tone confirming that he knew exactly how that sounded. Husk merely smiled and rolled his eyes at his friend’s sense of humor.

“Have you seen Y/N?” Husk asked.

“Ohhhhh.” Angel chuckled. “Ohhhh, I see what this is about…”

“Have you seen them?” Husk responded, his expression not changing.

“Someone like them at a ball? Uh-uh, ain’t no way they’re comin’ down here. You know they’re too much of a recluse for this fancy dress-up business.”

“You really think so…?”

“Aw, what’s got you lookin’ so down, Whiskers?”

Husk ignored Angel for another sip of wine, his desire to maintain some semblance of class preventing him from downing it as quickly as he’d like.

“Right. Be right back.”

“You better not be thinking about what I think you are!” Husk called after Angel as he walked away, but Angel didn’t respond.

—

You’re not going down there. You are not going down there. Not in this.

It’s not like it’s a revealing outfit or anything. It’s just a frilly, floor-length red dress. You’d picked it up when Charlie first announced the ball, fully intending to wear it that evening.

This is the first time you’ve looked at yourself in the mirror while wearing it, and the mirror is doing nothing to convince you to leave the room in this thing.

Even when you were alive, you were never particularly feminine; being feminine required being cute, and that just wasn’t something you were ever comfortable considering yourself as. Your appearance became even less of a concern after you died, with clothing being more of a suggestion than anything else. But a formal occasion sounded like the perfect chance to change that status quo.

What a stupid idea that was.

“Hey, Toots!” That voice along with three simultaneous knocks could only be one person. “You comin’ downstairs?”

“I’m fine! Thanks!” you call back without another thought. Why couldn’t you have gotten a nice outfit that was more gender neutral? Maybe you could change to your plain clothes and join the party that way…

But you know his tastes, and he might be disappointed to see you showing up for what’s supposed to be a major event in casual streetwear…

Better off not risking it.

“Aw, but it’s borin’!” Angel called from the other side of the door. “We could use some company down there!”

“Go ahead without me!” you assured Angel, preparing to change out of the dress and spend the evening to yourself in your room.

“But Husk wants to see you!”

The sound of his name makes you freeze.

It’s not a surprise that he wants to see you, really. You two have been getting along well, talking about your shared appreciation for music and the performing arts. Even the other members of the hotel have commented that Husk never softens quite as much as when you show an interest in his stories of his days as a performer in Vegas. He really does seem to like spending time with you.

But to hear it spoken out loud…

“You okay in there?”

You slowly open the door to see Angel standing there. At least you don’t need to worry about being overdressed; Angel’s got you beat in that department. He’s always impressed you with how he can take an outfit that should be so, so tacky on paper and yet make it work.

His eyes widen at the sight of you, and he lets out a whistle. “Well, damn. You in a dress. Never thought it’d happen.”

“I look stupid,” you mutter, holding your upper arm as you turn your head away. “I have no idea how to wear this thing…”

Angel scoffs. “You kiddin’? Look at me, honey. You know the types of people I hang out with, and let me tell ya, there is no one who can’t pull off a dress if they wanna.”

“Do you think Husk will like it?”

Angel laughs, and you immediately regret letting those words escape your mouth.

“Um, not that I… it’s just, he went to parties like this all the time, right? When he was alive, and when he was an Overlord, so he knows what people are supposed to wear… we’ve been getting along, but it might look bad if I’m underdressed…”

“You could go down there in a brown paper bag, and ol’ kitty cat down there would still be staring at you,” Angel assures you.

“Are you sure…?”

“Jesus Christ, you two are clueless.” He takes your hand in two of his and starts tugging you toward the stairs. “C’mon. You’re gonna go give Husk something to do besides finish off the wine all by himself.”

—

The reaction you get when you reach the lobby is less than you expected. Charlie’s happy to greet you, which you appreciate, but hers wasn’t the reaction you were looking for.

The only reaction you get from Husk is a briefly surprised glance before he turns away to refill his wine.

Is that really it…?

Angel must be equally unimpressed with the response. He storms over to Husk, and while you can’t really hear the conversation, you can see that it involves a lot of arm flailing from Angel and tail lashing from Husk.

The only phrase you can pick out is Angel saying, “Well, forgive me for trying to get you some-”

Should you go back upstairs? Husk doesn’t seem as happy to see you as Angel implied he would, and all you’re doing down here is standing in the middle of the room like an idiot. While you try to decide whether to run off and never think of this again, you notice Angel approach Alastor. He’s talking to Alastor with the same animated arm motions, while Alastor listens on in mild amusement. As Angel walks away, Alastor rolls his eyes and shakes his head, then gently taps his staff against the floor.

The bouncy ragtime music abruptly shifts to a downtempo jazz number.

Husk’s ears perk up at the sound, and as he looks up to figure out what’s going on, he locks eyes with you. You’re looking back at him, maintaining eye contact for far longer than he had when you first entered. He can’t just ignore you after that, can he?

Indeed, he can’t. Slowly, he walks toward you, uncertain at first but progressively gaining confidence. Angel flashes thumbs up signs that he can’t see behind him.

“Good evening,” he greets you, his deep voice so much more smooth than anything he’d shown as recently as thirty seconds ago. “You look nice tonight.”

“Thank you,” you respond, flashing your best smile. “You, too.”

Husk in a suit… you could get used to this.

His smile is surprisingly gentle when he does it without teeth. He holds out his paw. “Shall we dance?”

You take his paw in one hand, and he takes your other hand in his other paw. The two of you gently sway together, not making much contact, but even this proximity is making your chest pound. His confidence has grown considerably; he’s clearly used to things like this. He’s perfectly on rhythm, not holding your hands too loosely or tightly.

As if it’s the most natural thing in the world, he places a paw on your shoulder and pulls you close to him. You’re at a loss at what to do with your now free hand. It finds its way to his hip, and instantly your face starts heating. No, that’s way too much, way too quickly-

He doesn’t say anything about it. He only smiles.

Maybe it’s okay.

You stop focusing so much on where his hands are, or how he’s moving his feet. Your only concern is the gentle look he’s giving you as he dances with you, leading you in a perfect rhythm.

His arms have found their way around your waist at some point. You’re too lost in the moment to question it.

He whispers your name, and is it just you or is his face getting incredibly close? You raise a hand to stroke the fur on his cheek.

His lips are on yours, so chastely but they’re there, and you’re so floored by the action that you barely even register Angel whooping in the background. The kiss only lasts an instant, but you’re both a little more breathless now than when you started.

It’s the only time you kiss for now, but you spend much more time swaying together. You don’t know where one song ends and another begins; it’s only the underscore for one long dance, where the sliver of space between your bodies feels like a chasm.

No… not tonight. Not here. Not while they’re watching.

—

If it were up to you, that dance would have never ended… which is why it’s probably for the best that the sultry saxophone music abruptly changed to a loud swing number.

Alastor looks rather pleased with himself for the interruption.

You’d spend more time with Husk in the lobby, but not only is the music giving you a headache, but Angel keeps on staring at you with a raised eyebrow and a grin, and you don’t want any more time to think about what he’s theorizing in regards to your personal life.

“I wanna go back upstairs,” you tell Husk. Before he can look too disappointed, you then add, “You can come with me if you want.”

After you shout a good night at Charlie and Vaggie and Husk flicks a good-natured middle finger to the smirking Angel, the two of you head upstairs, and after some brief discussion, you agree to spend your time in Husk’s room. The two of you sit on the edge of his bed for a while as he shows you his collection of vinyls, and you discuss the possibility of the two of you possibly performing some of his favorite songs as a duet, with him on his saxophone and you singing.

“It’d be nice if we could sing together, too,” you say. “You have a really nice voice.”

The compliment flusters him enough that it takes him a moment to respond. “Maybe… but most of the duets I can sing are love songs.”

Now it’s your turn to blush, and it’s a lot more obvious on you than it is on him. You can’t hide the truth; you might as well say it out loud.

“I’d like singing a love song with you.”

Husk looks at the ceiling and smiles to himself, his thoughts elsewhere. “It’s been a long time since I’ve done a duet. Singing a love song with someone, and meaning every word of it… there’s nothing like it. I wouldn’t want to sing a duet like that with someone who doesn’t mean it.”

You snap him out of his daydream by placing your hand over his paw. “What about me? If I did mean it?”

He chuckles to himself. “You’d mean it? This soon? You just got here. We barely know each other.” Despite his words, he turns his paw around so he can hold your hand in return.

“You’re the one who kissed me down there,” you remind him.

“A single kiss isn’t love. Love takes time.” His body language doesn’t seem to be matching his words as he squeezes your hand. “It takes patience. Compromise. It’s not gonna fall into place easily. It’s easy to screw up… I’ve done it before.”

He’s looking at your face again, a once-unseen vulnerability in his eyes.

“...I don’t want to screw it up again. Not with you.”

“We can at least try.” You stroke his cheek again, now more focused than ever on the white hairs in his dark fur and the bags beneath his eyes. He’s been around for so long… he’s been hurt so many times.

If you could be the one to help him with that hurt…

You press your lips to his, and he accepts the kiss, holding it much longer than he did while you danced. He wraps his arms around you, not pulling you as closely as he could, but still letting you share in each others’ body heat.

It will take time, but you hope that someday, the two of you can sing that love song.

[sweetshelluvaau]

Free pass for you to explain how you’ve decided to rewrite any of the characters ^^

if you can’t choose tho I’m very curious to hear your thoughts on Alastor

Oh geez I have to pick a character to talk about! Well, I'll do that but I'll also answer regarding to Alastor first:

I have a complicated relationship with Alastor in the show, however I don't think they changed him too much from the pilot but at the same time, something just feels off about him.

No shade to his new actor, he does a fine job but something is missing that Ed Bosco bought to the character. Also as much as I love the song Stay Gone, I do feel him using modern slang to be out of character for him. (I'll admit tho that him dropping the f-bomb did made me laugh.)

Really I don't have much complaints about Alastor being I'm kinda indifferent about him.

As how I would rewrite him: Well first off, get rid of the Voodou stuff. There are people much better qualified than I am to talk about why using symbols and villainizing a closed practice/religion that has ties to parts of the black community is wrong so I'm not touching that can of worms. I know Viv said he's Creole, but I feel she only made him such because of the backlash and criticism she gotten.

So, in my AU, suppose to using Voodou, Alastor will still have powers but they're more eldritch/Lovecraft in nature (which is kinda what he already has going for him so it's not too much of change I guess idk) and has these powers by making a deal with a demon when alive and when he died it just transferred with him when he arrived in Hell. How? Why? I haven't figured that out yet being I don't know even if I'm gonna touch on that much in my AU anyways.

Also worth nothing that in my AU: Most Overlords don't have powers and play more like gang leaders/owners of their control of ‘districts’/businesses though out various rings in hell where Overlords are a thing (Pride/Greed/Sloth. Lust sort of has them but they're more regulated in that ring suppose to having freedom to do as they see fit) sort of thing. The only exception of the rule is Alastor and maybe Zestiral because he's old and gives me sorcerer vibes (plus it is my AU I do what I want). Vox still has the ability of hypnotization but it's less magic more than it's technology (I mean he's a TV head and likes to update with the times so he had a good time to prefect that).

But back to Alastor: Honestly, I think that's really the major change I would do being I think he has a solid foundation otherwise, it just comes to excultion.

Okay, character of my picking:

Less of a rewrite and more of a compete replacement but I would get rid of Adam and replace him with Archangel Michael. I don't get why Adam is leading the extermination being he was never an angel but a human that just so happened to go to heaven in Hazbin. This would be okay if the worldbuilding made this make sense but again, we're talking about Hellaverse here where the writers just throw shit against a wall and see what sticks without asking why.

But yeah, I think it'd make more sense for Michael to be leading the Extermination. I don't plan on him being a dick, let alone evil in my AU more than a guy who's trying to justify to himself that this is for the betterment for Heaven and Hell but takes no joy in the job otherwise and likely going to go though an existential crisis half way into my version of Hazbin.

Also, Lucifer and him are brothers. The Drama!

Anyway this is getting long and I think I spent two hours writing this out. If there's any other questions you want to ask, you're always welcome to send in more.

[demonophilia]

dni

minors, or no age listed. this is an instant block. have your age plainly listed either in your bio or pinned post.

raceplay, ageplay (dd/lg, md/lb, or any variation on those), detrans/misgendering, sexism/misogyny, sissy/forcefem, beastiality, incest (including step/adopted/fauxcest) , or orientationplay (ex. 'turning' lesbians. fuck off

proana/promia/thinspo/any kind of ed blogs i have an ed and these blogs are INCREDIBLY triggering for me. do not interact with me. i will block you.

scat, vore, inflation etc. nothing wrong with these but i'll most likely block if theyre a main focus of our blog. if i follow first, this doesnt apply!

any "icky x" shit. generally falls under the ageplay or incest umbrella, but i wanted to make sure i was clear. if i see any variation on those tags on your post, i will block.

chasers please just be normal LMAO

boundaries

do not ask about my private life/ask for my sfw blog. again, this is only if we aren't friends/close. i might post abt it in vague terms and its fine to ask abt minor things (how was your day etc) but dont pry. i am literally a porn blog im on here to get people off LMAO im not that interesting

if i say no or say to stop, stop. this should be obvious. if i say no, i mean no. this includes if im being dominant. if you repeatedly disrespect a boundary ive set, i will block you. if you arent clear on a boundary, ask!

more info under the cut ⬇️

about

hii im connor :] i use it/its, he/him, and she/her pronouns. i'm bisexual + bigender (tme, and i have a cunt), and i'm fine with both feminine and masculine petnames (see petnames section below :]) i'm a vers and a switch, though recently i've been heavily sub leaning. feel free to send me dom-focused asks, i just can't guarantee i'll get to them too quickly!

i love getting asks, especially sexual ones (obviously). just be certain that youre respecting my boundaries! i understand slip-ups, but try your best to "respect" me (obviously disrespect me lmao but yk what i mean). if you'd like to use an emoji for your asks, lmk and i'll tag the answers with that emoji :]

the terms i use for my anatomy are fairly loose, but do not use the term "bonus hole" or any variation to refer to my cunt. boypussy is fine, but i don't really find it very sexy LMAO. also, i call my clit a cock or tdick. it's fine to use clit for it, but i prefer the other 2.

petnames

i looove petnames :] feel free to use any of these (unless i specify otherwise), id honestly prefer you using these over my actual name LMAO.

angel, baby, darling, etc. these aren't sexual, but feel free to use them! i find them cute :]

toy/doll/fucktoy/thing etc. i love being objectified/dehumanized so these are always a good bet LOL

puppy, dog, pet, mutt, kitten, kitty, etc. bonus points for "bad dog" which makes me crazy in my head

good boy/girl/toy etc.

slut/whore/cumdump etc. i love most degrading names, lol. go wild with these, if i don't like one i'll lyk :]

sir/miss. when i am domming, these are generally the titles i prefer. feel free to try others though! (aside from daddy/mommy.)

go wild! the ones above are some of my favorites/the ones that immediately came to mind, but feel free to try other ones :] like i said if i don't like it i'll just lyk, no harm done!

kinks

i should note that i enjoy all my kinks from both directions, whether im dom or sub :] due to my frequently subby nature some of these descriptions are worded in terms of Me being the sub but i love them when im domming also basically.

praise i adoree being praised... generally i prefer it mixed in with degradation ^_^ tell me if im doing a good job, making you happy, etc! i also love praise when im domming please lmk if youre enjoying yourself i like knowing im getting people off :]

degradation another favorite ^_^ as ive mentioned, i love being dehumanized and sexualized. call me stupid, useless, etc. aside from words, i do enjoy being made to do degrading tasks <3 Also idk where to put this but i lovee spit spit in my mouth spit on me Whatever

painplay hitting, slapping, choking, biting etc are some of my favorites. i also enjoy knifeplay and gunplay. anything that will leave bruises/marks will make me wet <3

somno/intox i enjoy both of these, but i am very picky about them, and i'd probably won't talk about them a lot because of how picky i am.

monsterfucking vampires werewolves angels demons tentacles etc etc etc i go crazy for them . i do want to do unspeakable things to a service top werewolf this is true.

petplay i should note that i'm fairly picky about petplay as well! i mainly prefer the petnames, collars/leashes, etc. i don't enjoy anything about cages or being made to bark (though i don't mind phrases like "puppies don't talk" and stuff like that)

bondage, gags, handcuffs etc. pleasee tie me up and tell me what you'd do to me <3 i have an oral fixation so any use of my mouth is very appreciated <3

breeding I LOOOOOVE BREEDING im crazy abt it. if you threaten to knock me up i Will beg for it lol. i don't really care abt any actual pregnancy details, aside from future hypotheticals (youre gonna be so big, im gonna fuck another baby into you after, etc)

exhibitionism/voyeurism if i didnt get off on ppl looking at me i wouldnt have made this blog love and light .

this list is nonexhaustive! i like a lot of kinks, so feel free to bring up any you think i'd like, so long as they aren't on my dni or anything. worst case scenario i just won't like them and i'll lyk LOL.

MISC

mutuals feel free to dm me if you'd like ;] i tend not to initiate bc i have a hard time telling when its normal to reach out LOL, so if you want to talk to me, please do! everyone else can talk to me through the ask box!! once again, Please sexualize me (why would i make this blog if i didnt wanna be sexualized lmao) but respect my boundaries <3

related to above, but if you get off to my posts/thinking of me, id love to know :] i loveee getting ppl off so <3 and if im feeling dommy i might tease you abt it LOL

i do my best to tag specific kinks for navigation (and to tag hard kinks with tw (kink)) but i might slip up/forget! if you notice an issue with the tags, feel free to lmk and ill get that fixed :]

also i should note i am bisexual bigender, so im fine being rbed with both wlw/nb and mlm/nb tags ! lmk if youre uncomfortable with me interacting with yr content in any way 👍

ty for reading this whole long thing :D i tend to ramble a lot lol... i don't rly have anything to give you for reading it all buttttt feel free 2 like if youve read all this also youre my favorite and you can do whatever you want to me (joke (or is it!?))

[nagipops]

KONOHA ELEVEN IN A ZOOM CLASS!

FEATURING: naruto, sakura, shikamaru, ino, choji, hinata, kiba, shino, neji, rock lee, and tenten

WARNINGS: mentions of food

NARUTO

definitely has forgotten that he was unmuted multiple times

or his camera was accidentally turned on

you could just see him sprawled on his bed with a bowl of instant ramen on his lap and a blanket wrapped around himself

EARRAPE SLURPS!! rip headphone users.

sometimes he notices that his camera’s turned on and you can see him freak out and scramble to turn it off

but he accidentally unmutes himself too and so you just hear panicked yelling

his device topples to the floor with a loud crash and he screams so loud istg

the next thing you see is naruto’s face hovering over the camera in fear just before his camera turns off and he’s muted again

the teacher is so confused?? naruto should i call an ambulance

but when he’s not eating in class, he’s sleeping in class

too busy sleeping to leave the zoom at the end of class so he’s always the last one left in the meeting besides the teacher

always asks sakura what happened during the zoom and she is FED UP

SAKURA

enters the waiting room 15 minutes before class is actually supposed to begin

spends the next 15 minutes rearranging her work area, making sure she’s prepared for the day

sits properly at her desk with her hair smoothed down and her face positioned perfectly in frame

if no one else has their camera on, she’s the only one with it on

seriously, she ALWAYS HAS IT ON

and she never leaves the screen somehow

diligently takes notes, uses the “raise hand” feature every two minutes to ask a question

sometimes it can get a bit annoying, even for the teacher

but she almost always gets perfect marks

acts like in angel in class, but after class... no promises, naruto!

SHIKAMARU

this man can barely stay awake during missions, so during a zoom? HECK NAH

shikamaru is literally me,, half asleep during lessons but somehow gets amazing grades

everyone’s either pissed at or envious of him (especially naruto)

obviously does not have his camera on

and rarely ever unmutes

uses the chat feature to answer the teacher’s questions but this man is basically asleep so its so incoherent

“shikamaru, what is a hyperbole?”

in chat: “a hyeprbole is a exsaggerayed phras,e”

teacher definitely thinks he’s cheating on tests

INO

either a) daydreaming about boys or b) checking herself out in the zoom camera OR c) secretly fuming at sakura’s know-it-all behavior

the two girls definitely compete to see who can raise their virtual hand first

"ahem, ahem- sensei? could i answer this question?"

her voice gets all sickly sweet and sakura HATES IT

the two of them totally got caught insulting each other in the private chat

100% the type of student to rewrite her notes after classes with various markers and colored pens and pretty fonts and patterns and whatnot

loves doodling flowers in her notebook during boring lessons!

CHOJI

another strong contender for the Loudest Student award!

not on purpose though, he just forgets that space bar = unmute, and plays some jumping game in another tab (like the no internet dino game!)

also,, rip headphone users

c r o n c h munch munch munch

are you kidding this man's chews are loud enough in person, but with a HEADSET?! hoo boy.

has conked out several times during class

just imagine the name Choji Akimichi with a profile picture of a bag of chips light up with the green box around it with a thunk

the teacher and class is so confused

but then you hear mumbles of "barbeque... chips... barbeque..."

and you realize that the man fell asleep onto his keyboard

he sleeps through the rest of class

HINATA

shy bb has never ONCE turned on her camera

the only time she's ever unmuted was to say "here" during attendance on the first day of school

if the teacher ever takes attendance again, she just uses the raise hand feature

what if naruto-kun thinks my voice is ugly? what if i accidentally turn on my camera? what if the teacher thinks i'm not paying attention? what if-

poor baby is too busy worrying about showing herself on zoom to actually pay attention

actually gets good grades though and her classmates wonder if she’s even there

her zoom pfp is definitely just a purple google “H”

KIBA

has the CUTEST zoom pfp hands down

it’s a selfie of him grinning cheerily with baby akamaru

100% has his camera on the whole time to show off his pup

he loves seeing everyone’s faces on screen melt and aww at the lil big doggo

sometimes akamaru just walks in front of the camera and blocks kiba from view and you just see a massive wall of white fur on screen LMAO

even though kiba’s muted, you can see him and akamaru bickering about who knows what

or even play fighting,, these two get into full on BRAWLS during class

just imagine akamaru shoves kiba into his desk and his camera crashes to the ground overturned so you see the ceiling and the occasional dog tail wagging in the corner

seriously, can the teacher ever catch a break with this class?

the answer is no.

SHINO

his zoom pfp is just a tick.

a singular tick

totally answers questions in chat with proper capitalization and punctuation

shikamaru’s improper answers tick him off

“A hyperbole is an expression that is greatly exaggerated. They are used in order to create emphasis.”

has never unmuted in his life either

he’s so unfazed by everything that goes down in class that it’s funny

if anything the slightest bit RELATED to bugs comes up during class, in 0.00238 seconds this man has an entire essay about them posted in chat, almost like he had it copied and READY to paste

everyone's definitely shocked that there’s actually a human listening behind a tick profile picture

NEJI

a very diligent note taker

seriously, this man writes like a printer; perfectly even handwriting that looks like a font, a million words per minute

everyone asks him for his notes after the zoom because they’re so neat (especially naruto, to neji’s dismay)

he gets excellent grades since he’s so organized and focused

just wishes the zoom would be over so he can work alone in peace

really hates unmuting so he often gives one-word answers in the chat

“Yes” “47” “Present” “Goodbye”

has used a zoom reaction ONCE in his life and he has never wanted to crawl into a hole and perish more

it was a complete accident,, mans was just trying to open the chat to type in his answer, but in a cruel twist of fate he clicked on the 😂 reaction

and he just sat there for ten excruciating seconds in complete and utter shock and shame for ten excruciating seconds as he prayed for it to disappear

tenten would never let him live that down

ROCK LEE

Zoom Reaction Enthusiast

😂😮👍🎉❤️ 24/7

naruto accidentally unmutes himself? 😮

choji falls asleep on his keyboard? 😂

neji answers something correctly? 👍

tenten received the highest score in class? 🎉

akamaru appears on screen? ❤️

unmutes whenever he needs to, but he thinks the little emoticons are so silly and cute

otherwise, he is EXTRA FOCUSED and EXTREMELY DETERMINED to learn all of the things

he’s the first to unmute whenever the teacher asks if the class can see the screen share, hear them correctly, etc.

never takes his eyes off the screen!! he could be missing out on important information

I FEEL LIKE,, i feel like he would totally keep his camera off when he’s muted but whenever he unmutes he would also turn his camera on

so when he says a quick “yes!” his camera turns on but before his camera can adjust properly to the light he mutes and turns his camera back off so his face is just super dark for a split second LMAOOO

tell me im wrong

TENTEN

exasperated by this entire class

thinks her and neji are the only sane ones in the class and it’s true

wants to tell sakura and ino to stop competing and just focus on learning, since they’re the only other girls in the class besides hinata

plus she’s just fed up with all the lazy boys

takes great pride in passing every assignment, test, or exam with flying colors

teachers pet, but the quieter type who stays after every zoom and sends lots of emails regarding assignments and grades and whatnot (unlike sakura and ino who rub it in the teacher’s face)

doesn’t like helping other people besides neji, girl’s got a soft spot for him since they have a mutual respect for each other

but if you’re a handsome prince, maybe she’ll help you out!

if you enjoyed this post, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :) feel free to request here, and make sure to read the rules first! have a lovely day everyone <3

[bored-storyteller]

Okay, I can't find where this request went anymore, but I'm sure it existed (or I wouldn't have written this). I'm going to try to look again in the mail. Anyway, our boys (Vil, Azul, Leona) a little sad and the reader comforting them with hugs.

54- Twisted Wonderland, Vil, Azul, Leona x Reader

His life isn't that easy. Back straight, head up, be elegant, be polite, never show the weight that falls on your shoulders. This is Vil's life, nothing more, nothing less.

As beautiful as a marble statue, a precious object that can only be admired, not touched. Sometimes he himself forgets that he is human.

It's hard to never break down, it's hard to keep up appearances, and you make it more difficult. You, the most precious thing he has.

He should feel free with you, right? Isn't that the cliché of every love story? But he can't really know, he's always the bad guy in stories.

So even with you it is the appearance that counts him, because you love him for that, right? It's not like there's much more to him than just his appearance - and apparently not even that is enough to give him any real value.

He is tired, that's why he has such negative thoughts. A restful sleep and the next day it will be a fragrant flower again, but it is still early to go to sleep.

"Vil?" Your angelic voice rouses him. You are there, stuck a few steps behind him, you look at him doubtfully and his heart trembles. Oh, did you notice too much wrinkle in his expression?

"Vil." You call his name again, and he is already preparing to tell you how tiring his day has been to clear the doubts that are likely creeping into you.

Vil is not someone used to being touched, he is a precious work of art after all, yet he is convinced that even a caress from you could at that moment bring him relief. But he has to keep up appearances.

"My dear?" His questioning smile tries not to be too guilty under your worried eyes that scrutinize him.

After a few seconds of silence, you are moving. You are slow, yet fast. Your arms slide gently under his, and your body tightens to his chest. Your warmth invades him as your face seeks refuge under his chin, lovingly rubbing your nose against his neck.

"It's cold ..." You murmur, and this is the justification you use, but he knows that you have only read inside him, and you have simply taken some of his weight for you.

"You smell good." You continue, while his arms hold you slowly, in a silent request for affection.

“Oh yeah… it's a new perfume you know? I thought…"

"Yes, that perfume is good too, but you also smell of something else."

He just walks away, so that his purple eyes can look for the answer in yours for that doubt you have posed to him. There is no need for him to ask, he knows that you will give him the answer.

"The scent of Vil." Your cheerful and affectionate smile erases all poison from his heart, and he smiles at you as he does not smile at anyone else as he silently welcomes you back against him.

Who knows, maybe with you appearances are completely useless.

 

A faint sigh comes from the dorm leader's lips to confide only in the air the pressure he is feeling inside him.

He is an excellent trader, a businessman, an excellent speaker and a perfect gentleman. Is not enough. He is never enough, and he probably never will be.

Sometimes the slander and contempt of many also burn him. Not everyone looks favorably on him, Azul knows, it's the price he himself chose to pay - at least he got something in return, right?

He isn't sure. Days like this, flat and heavy, occasionally bring back the most latent insecurities of him. Not that he shows it, only his eyes barely reflect the weight in his heart if you look at them carefully.

You are a relief, usually. Like every day he waits for you to come and greet him, but more than every day he would like to drop everything else, take you in his arms and hold you there. Yet despite his appearances he is still so shy. Sometimes even your gaze makes him blush, you know it, and you also know how much he cares about his figure and his representation in front of others, so you never take a step too far towards him, and he never has the courage to ask.

"Azul?"

Your voice finally reaches his ears, your bright eyes peeking through the crack of the half-open door before you allow yourself to enter.

"Oh, here you are ... give me a second, I'm almost done." His voice is as firm and calm as ever. He doesn't look at you, it's not strange, but the way he bows his head to avoid you sends you strange meanings.

He doesn't have the courage to look at you, the need he has for you makes him feel ashamed. A child who needs pampering, that's what he is at that moment. A nullity in front of you.

He feels you close, you are next to his chair, standing, looking at him. You don't move away, and he understands that you want his attention, he won't be able to ignore you for long.

"Do you need something?" He finally asks you, and his eyes force them to lift to your face, and he is surprised when he sees you smiling.

You just stare at him for a few moments, without giving him an answer, and then suddenly your arms are around his shoulders, his cheek gently resting on your shoulder.

"I missed you, Azul!" Your light but cheerful voice caresses his ear, while you hug him protectively, full of affection.

"We only met last night ..." he murmurs, in a tone that wanders between wonder and relief.

“I know, but I don't care. I missed you." You confirm again, as you make your way into his lap and let him hold you.

Your weight on him is reassuring, your touch and your presence welcoming.

"I can't hide anything from you, right?" He whispers in your ear, as if he is afraid of being heard by others, even if only the two of you exist in the room.

"No, I would say no." You mutter satisfied, snuggling up to him.

 

Usually he is so good at silencing that part of him, but when that black feeling arises it feels like a living being inside him struggling to get out and leave him weak, empty, mocked. He always swallows it, never allows it to peek out. Sometimes it curls up in the stomach, other times in the lungs, or gets stuck in his ribcage making his heart heavy, almost blocking his breath.

Leona is good at silencing those wounds to his pride, but sometimes it happens that a gesture, a laugh, a word at the wrong time weaken his defenses, taking him away from the already heavy looks of others.

In the greenhouse he is alone with himself. No, he's not there to sleep, he just needs to calm down. For some reason today it is difficult, more than usual. The weight in his chest causes him to hunch over, head bowed, ears down. His hands are left in his lap as he sits hidden among the plants, he almost seems to be meditating. Calm down, calm down, calm your anger. It is what he repeats to himself like a mantra as he listens to his own breath. Nobody can beat you, nobody can hurt you.

No, no one is going to hurt him - no one thinks he's worth hurting, do they? All that he is, all that he knows he is worth, is always trampled on, torn to pieces, thrown away by others, as if it were of no use.

"Caught!"

Your weight is never too violent against his sturdy back, but his surprise causes him to lean forward slightly.

You laugh as your hands gently tighten around his neck, and he growls.

"Idiot! Are you crazy ?! " His words are acidic, but by now you've got used to it. You are the only one who can ever afford to do such a thing with him, you are the only one he can forgive.

He doesn't realize it right away, but that little leap to his heart you gave him has suddenly lightened his mind. He only knows when your arms go away from him.

Wait, stay still.

That thought unexpectedly reaches his mind, but he is quickly kicked out. He won't beg for mercy, not even from you, especially with you.

Still, even if he doesn't speak, your weight doesn't stray too far. Your arms now slowly encircle his stomach as you drop relaxed on his back, like a lion cub on his father's back.

With your head resting behind his ribcage, Leona knows you're listening to his heartbeat. He knows this because he is listening to you too, he listens to your breath which naturally coordinates with the muscle moving slow and powerful in his chest. And then he understands that you understand his need that he pretends not to have.

"You are so strong, Leona."

And that's enough.

A light sigh caresses his lips: "Of course I'm strong, otherwise you-"

"I'd be fine!" You defend yourself, knowing full well where he wants to hit.

You don't see him, but a proud smile is painted on his face as he continues on his way: "Otherwise you would have already been eaten by now."

[savrenim]

hi hi hi. so I just got into the Hamilton fandom, I swear I am four years late where did everybody go, and, well. I am apparently a hamburr shipper. bcs that is my life now. anyway I saw your fic ifmlam and I swear it is my favourite of all the fics I've ever read (and trust me I've read literally thousands). I love it so so much, how do you write fics like that??? I cried about four times during the whole thing, I stayed up till 4am reading it even when I had to wake up at 7 because it is just. that. good. I could not stop thinking about it for days afterwards and ifmlam has just ruined me. I can't think of listen to Hamilton without thinking of ifmlam anymore.

on to my qursttion: is it abandoned? of course it's perfectly FINE if it is. don't let anyone tell u differently, your fic is YOURS and u are amazing.

but pls I really need closure from ur fic, it has been haunting me if its abandoned or ongoing and I've read ur other fics and they are just chefskiss and thank you so much for writing them all. thank you thank you thank you, I will never be able to thank you enough for writing this fic and for everything it's done for me. I am probably thousands of miles away but I am sending you virtual jugs through a co.puter screen right now.

(don't feel pressured to reply to this or update it flam, I know how overwhelming it can get with so many messages and after a while u get desensitized to it. u can literally reply "thx. itfmlam is abandoned" and I would still be amazingly star struck. anyway has gotten way too long and I need to sleep and I'm sorry u probably won't see this so I'm just talking to myself right now but bye!!)

and thank you so so much for writing itfmlam.

aaaah hello anon!

thank you so so much???? I am so??? honored??? that ifmlam rates so highly to you, and also that you've read my other fics??????

the answer to the "is ifmlam abandoned" question is probably the worst possible one, which is pretty much "I do want to finish it, both for the folks that still want closure as well as it bothers to me have abandoned projects that are in the public eye/ already partially published, but also, it is last on my current writing projects list"

my current actually active writing projects list, kind of in order of priority, is

I'm literally three chapters away from being Actually Fully Done with the not-quite-first-not-quite-second let's call it 1.5th draft of an actual?? full?? original?? novel?? Opus which of course then goes out to beta readers and then gets who-knows-how-much edited and then maybe beta readers again if a lot does change and then a copyeditor my mom, my copyeditor is my mom, and maybe my little brother he's one of the betas but is very good at catching typos and then I!!! get to publish it!!!! which is the single thing I am most excited for!!!!!!!!! this should be closed up in the next week or two, and then take a while for people to actually read the draft and get back to me.

I really desperately want to finish my open-but-like-90%-written fic, which means we raise it up, the final chapter of to the bottom of the river bc I realized that it was kind of incomplete, and the second chapter of a buried and a burning flame because any more work there will need to wait until the author publishes the next book in the series. this should be closed up in the next month or two.

Speedwrite the draft of the second book of the Opus series so that hopefully by the time book 1 edits are happening, I have an almost complete draft of the second book. this is mostly me side-eyeing myself about taking nearly four years to write the first book, but that is solidly in part because I had so many other open projects which point 2 is about clearing that docket. this should be done in the next year.

And then just have my major projects be, at least until books 1-5 are written and published, books 1-5 of that because that is arguably the first major 'plot arc' of the series, so if I'm looking for a pause point on writing, that's probably where to stop.

There are two or three other short side projects (a weird fun second person short story tentatively titled witch-queen, a collection of four short stories Memoirs about a not-so-evil necromancer and the shenanigans he gets up to trying to rule a kingdom, working title Perfectly Normal Recipe Blog which is a collaborative project about a perfectly normal recipe blog that definitely doesn't include anything out of the normal) that will happen when they happen

There are other projects that are on the backburner -- The Numanok Files, a series of probably 12-15 short novellas about a mercenary/ bounty hunter esque person in space whose specialty is dealing with hauntings, but, like, 80% of their jobs is actually "you are effectively a space home inspector pointing out faulty wiring reacting to solar flares/ there's a weird alien fungus/ it's carbon monoxide okay change your atmosphere filters" and 20% of it is punching ghosts; there's a post-post apocalypse novel that I want to write that I know characters and general pacing and half the setting but need to work out the other half and figure out how much aesthetic I want to commit to; there's Strangeside7 aka spacerace book that is my reaction to how much I love how Redline the anime movie commits itself to "no we are about a race, like 60% of the screentime is just fully going to be an utterly ridiculous sci fi space race"; there's even a ridiculous YA trilogy that I would have to completely transplant the setting but might end up writing because the interplay between angel-physics and physics-physics was one of my favorite things in the world. and I guess the weird ridiculous technically a sequel series to ifmlam that was going to be published as original books that was basically me having fun with 'okay I fucking love star wars prequels old rotting space bureaucracy galactic republic style' except with seers and that also still might happen because it does have some of the coolest sci fi concepts and honestly I thiiiink that's all?

but the tl;dr of that timeline is I'm trying to finish a punch of projects Right Now, so that I can write books 2-5 of Opus, and then when I'm done that (which honestly, my average fiction-writing output is close to 100k a year. if I'm concentrating purely on one project, and writing books that are about 100k, we are talking four years. although my job situation is super up in the air in that period and writing might get put solidly on the backburner as I try to make it in academia, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) I will re-evaluate which projects go next, and that's when ifmlam is likely to come up for review.

I do not have any expectations that I will make it as an original author. I'm planning on posting all of my stuff online for free, but, like. it is incredibly difficult to convince people to try out even a piece of free and easily accessibly original work even if one has a huge following, I am a very small fanfiction author, and from what I can tell the majority of the people who are interested in my work are mostly interested in me finishing ifmlam. writing is a hobby for me, and while I'm writing mostly for me--and hence the for me bit at least for the next five years is pretty solidly going to be this series that I am deeply excited about and have sunk my heart and soul into every single aspect of--I'm human, and I don't really like shouting into the void, and I expect if I spend five years publishing to absolutely no response I will either stop writing for a while and do other things gods know my life is busy enough, return to fandom in general to write some other fanfic about whatever I get deeply into, or return to a work that I actually get response to. so ifmlam will probably start getting worked on a bit at that point one way or another. unless, of course, we are in the incredibly rare timeline in which I do make it as an original author, there are people who are deeply hyped for my original works and an actual demand for them, in which case as you may have noticed there are enough ideas there to keep me busy for a decade or two, and they will just get my full attention instead of fanfiction*. in this timeline, I will do what I was considering doing a few years ago, which is officially declare ifmlam otherwise abandoned and make one more giant chapter update which is a full and cleaned up outline of what I was going to write, interspersed with the scenes already written, and have ifmlam be given at least that closure.

*I want to make it clear that I very much love fanfiction and am proud to have been a fanfiction author and in my heart of hearts would keep writing it forever, I just also have a lot of ideas for characters and settings and magic systems and Aesthetics and I have been biting at the bit to write something that is //mine// and all mine and only mine for a while, I don't see original work as superior so much as there are a dozen fandoms that I am currently in and bursting to make content about except oops these fandoms currently only exist in my head, and I want to correct that

of course given how much as writing is my vent activity and I write what I'm in the mood for, there's a chance I'll feel ifmlam cravings before then, just... expect it to take a couple of years for an update, but also for there to be an update one way of another in a couple of years? but as for right now, I'm turning to original writing, because that is what brings me joy.

but I am really deeply honored that it brought you so much joy!!! and while I will never publish spoilers in a public place, if you message me off anon I am perfectly happy to give a run-down of my current plans for the ending, bc I know "wait a couple years and see" is not the most satisfactory of answers! and hey maybe you'll be like me and once you've given Opus a try you'll decide you like it better too, it does have Seers although they are deeply different Seers than in ifmlam but imo it's very gay and fun and at least politics on one side

[studylustre]

hey bb!! you're kinda a queen on here for giving advice so I hope you don't mind me seeking your advice.... at the moment I've been feeling really lost, I'm way behind on my peers this age in almost every aspect of life,, a reason for this is that my mental health is really bad and I lost my teen years to depression. Therefore now I can't even seem to be making friends or hold a normal conversation with adults due to my social anxiety. I used to be intelligent but I think now I'm just stupid ~~~

~~~ my dad keeps telling me how much I suck compared to everyone else, not every day but often enough that I know I'm definitely not fulfilling his expectations and I feel like I'm never going to be able to catch up on that. I've spent a lot of time on my own, I still do and I don't know how to change that, how to build my own life so I'm not dependent on my parents anymore and can move out after I've finished high school. I just would love to know your opinion on that. Please don't judge me too harshly skskshvff :')) I just would love to know how to build your own life apart from your own family, how one can be able to live with their own thoughts without getting depressed hehe,, idk I guess I carry a lot of guilt with me and I've never been able to overcome it and that's why I'm stuck not being able to move forward. Thank youu if you've read this!! I apologise that this is so unnecessary long, I'd be really grateful for some advice!! I'm a new anon btw,, :) sending u love🥺✨🌈

hi angel!! i don’t mind at all, thank u for stopping by and opening up to me about this bc it’s definitely not easy to talk to people about ur inner thoughts!! there’s quite a lot to discuss here so apologies if my response is all over the place. i first want to address what u said about feeling behind ur peers - i don’t want to dismiss ur concerns bc ur feelings are always valid and this is a v v v common feeling so ur definitely not alone in thinking this, but it’s honestly okay. this is something that took me a while to start internalising (still working on it) but there really are no rules in life!! there’s no set timeframe for you to have to achieve anything by. everyone’s path is different - we all have different dreams and goals and resources and so we all experience things at differently and at different times. life is not a competition and u don’t have to compare urself to ur peers!! also, don’t forget that even the people who u think are thriving and living their best lives have struggles of their own too. like i said, we all have our own journeys. what u see of other people’s is just a highlight reel - u never know what struggles they’re facing behind the scenes bc i can assure u, we all are going through something. none of us are just floating along life absolutely carefree!! there’s obstacles for us all and they manifest in different ways for all of us so do!! not!! compare!! urself!! to!! others!!

secondly, i’m sorry to hear that about ur dad. that’s an awful thing to hear from a parent. i know this doesn’t make up for it but i just wanted to tell u, if u haven’t heard this from anyone else, u are doing great. u may not be where u want to be right now (which is completely ok!! u have SO much time ahead of u to get to where u want to be) but u are trying, u are doing ur best and u are still here which means u are doing great. look at u, here, despite it all!! u have made it all this way and ur going to make so much more progress. i know it’s easier said than done but please try ur best to ignore the naysayers. all that matters is that u are living up to ur own standards - forget what ur dad expects of u, because ur life is ur own to live and u don’t exist to please him. also, i just wanted to reiterate ur point about ur dad having super high expectations and u feeling like u can’t keep up with them. that’s a rough realisation, but i think it’s also a v important one to acknowledge because it’s one that can set u free. if u know his expectations of u are a) unrealistic and b) too harsh, then don’t feel obligated to try and match up to them. in situations such as these, i find it’s often the case that no matter what u do, it will never be enough bc they will always find something to nitpick on. u can achieve incredible things and do everything to perfection and they will still find something to complain about and be disappointed in u for. this may or may not be the case for u, but if it is, i hope u can one day walk away from these expectations and live ur life freely the way u want without feeling like u have to measure up to any outsider’s expectations for u.

thirdly, u are not stupid!! u have so much to offer simply just by being u. i feel like u maybe think ur best days are behind u but that is far from the case. ur best days are still waiting for u!! u have so much to look forward to and so much to experience and to achieve. it’s okay to be confused and lost when trying to figure out this mess we call life. we’re all confused here bb!! none of us know exactly what we’re doing but we’re all faking it til we make it. think about it from the perspective of ur younger self - idk if this is the case for u but when i was young, i thought people who were 18 were Proper Adults. i’m now 22 and i still feel like i’m fumbling my way through life and i definitely don’t feel anything close to being an adult, but hey!! that’s okay. the important thing is that u try. even if u trip up, it doesn’t matter bc failure is inevitable in life and we all go through it. what matters is how u carry urself through these experiences and how u deal with it. it’s okay if u don’t know which direction u want to go in, or if ur not sure it’s the right path for u. just give it a go and try. u can only find out what’s good for u through actually trying. if it doesn’t work out, then whelp, at least now u know for sure that’s something that’s not for u!! onto the next experience. and the next. and the next. until u eventually find something that clicks for u. at that point, u can look back with all ur wisdom from ur experiences and know that every single trial u faced and overcame has made u a stronger, wiser and better person. we love character development!!

u mentioned that u live with a lot of guilt and u haven’t been able to move forward bc of that. would therapy be an option that u would be open to? otherwise, would u be open to trying to face some of that urself through journalling or something like that? i’m far from a qualified mental health professional so i don’t want to give u too much advice in this area bc i’m not qualified to do so, but as an anxious person and chronic overthinker, i really find that journalling helps for me to work through my thoughts. u might not be able to find all ur answers through journalling (i think that’s something that just comes through time and also potentially having a professional to walk u through it so u can untangle everything) but it does help u to get stuff off ur chest and to help u realise what’s bothering u, which is a step in the right direction. also, this may sound weird, but i hear that saying ur thoughts (the ones that cause u to spiral and feel bad/anxious) aloud to urself or to a friend helps a lot!! sometimes u don’t realise how irrational things are in ur head until u say it out loud and really hear it, or have a friend to talk u down from it.

i hope this helps!! i know this is superrrrr long and ramble-y but i hope it gave u some semblance of comfort. know that ur not alone in any of ur struggles and that there are better days waiting ahead for u!!

[douchebagbrainwaves]

WHY I'M SMARTER THAN PROJECTS

Most technologies evolve a good deal even after they're first launched—programming languages especially. There are two ways new technology gets introduced: the organic growth method is exemplified by the French word for working: travailler. I think the underlying cause is usually that they've become demoralized. To write good software you must simultaneously keep two opposing ideas in your head. Because the list of n things is a dishonest format: when you use it. But in fact it could have substantial costs. They're working on their own projects. Inventors of wonderful new things are often surprised to discover this, but you have to install before you use it. About 10 of them so far. Why are VCs so conservative?

Remember, hackers are lazy. And yet people working in their own homes, which aren't even designed to be workplaces, end up being more like an older brother than a parent. For example, I use it when I get close to a deadline. I know from experience whether patents encourage or discourage innovation, and the cost of checks, you can say later Oh yeah, we had a practice session where all the groups gave their presentations. To many people, Lisp is a natural fit for server-based applications, it will make a very big difference to the bottom line how many users make a critical mass? Once you start to design things, and there are companies that specialize in selling to you. A can-opener must seem miraculous to a dog. They're outlying data points; what makes them gripping also makes them irrelevant. And even more, you need to.

It's a fine thing for parents to help their children indirectly—for example, about how to set up a separate computer for using the Internet still looked and felt a lot like work. There are two kinds of symmetry, repetition and recursion. They don't get sued by other startups because a patent suits are an expensive distraction, and b it means that Y Combinator, we planned to invest the way other venture firms do: as proposals came in, we'd evaluate them and decide yes or no. That turned out to be a place to work. I found that I could tell immediately, by the sound, when there was a causal connection. No one wants to begin a program with a bunch of small organizations in a market can come close. That's an alarming possibility when you have to compile and run separately. Basically, I had to add a few more checks on public companies. When my father was working at Westinghouse in the 1970s, he had people working for you have to make it true, and the essay will still survive.

After publishing his theory of colors in 1672 he found himself distracted by disputes for years, finally concluding that the only solution was to stop publishing: I see I have made myself a slave to Philosophy, but if I had to add a few more checks on public companies. Good ones, anyway. Multics and Common Lisp occupy opposite poles on this question. Nor is there anything new, except the names and places, in most news about things going wrong. Any really good new idea will seem bad to most people; otherwise someone would already be doing it. But between the two there is a substantial gap. This might be true. And as the example of open source and blogging have to teach business: 1 that people work harder on stuff they like. This territory is occupied mostly by individual angel investors—people like Andy Bechtolsheim, who gave Google $100k when they seemed promising but still had some things to figure out. You don't have complete control, of course, but someone who really understands an article probably has something in his brain afterward that corresponds to such an outline. Something that used to be like.

But it worked so well that you envision the scene for yourself. There is a parallel here to the rise of civil order, which happened at roughly the same time the US economy rocketed out of the problem here is social. Whenever someone in an organization is a kind of selflessness. If we send them an email asking what's up, and they won't even dare to take on ambitious projects. There is now a whole neighborhood of them in the first ten topics. They don't get sued by other startups because a patent suits are an expensive distraction, and b it means that Y Combinator, we planned to invest the way other venture firms do: as proposals came in, we'd evaluate them and decide yes or no. The same principles of good design crop up again and again. There is one thing more important than brevity to a hacker: being able to do what you want to optimize, there's a reason for that. Barnes & Noble was thus the equivalent of a home-made aircraft shooting down an F-18. Google is, they're probably being told right now by VCs to come back when they have more traction.

It's quite possible there will be zero. Nothing is more powerful than a community of talented people working on projects of their own people would rebel. The founders of Kiko, for example, by helping them to become smarter or more disciplined, which then makes them more successful. Good hackers care a lot about matters of principle, and they don't want the hassles that come with it. The metaphor people use to describe the way a startup feels is at least a roller coaster and not drowning. But I suspect it's the startup world that has changed, not them. Is anyone able to develop software faster than you?

There must be a better game without checking? In any purely economic relationship you're free to do what you want and publish when you want to stop buying steel pipe from one supplier and start buying it from another, you don't know what you're going to write when you start. Maybe in the long term the right answer for dealing with Internet distractions will be software that watches and controls them. Another way to get a big program is to start with a throwaway program is a program you write is code that's specific to your application. Recursion means repetition in subelements, like the classic Lisps of the 1970s. I can barely read Lisp code when it is set in a variable-width font, and friends say this is true for other languages too. Whereas anyone can express opinions about current events in a bar. Not explicitly, of course. You have to be able to recognize it. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats.

Thanks to Barry Eisler, Fred Wilson, Robert Morris, Jessica Livingston, John Gruber, Langley Steinert, and Patrick Collison for putting up with me.

[stormylix]

Dog jealousy

Words:2k 

genre:Fluff

Warning:None.

Berry is normally good dog but when you get into Chan life and started to spend more time with him.Berry changed she started to be aggressive always growling when you are around, she started to pay extra attention to Chan and didn’t let you touch her.You sweared that she didn't like you but what if there was something else behind it..

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It was a beautiful day,the sky was a light shade of blue and the birds seem to enjoy the sky.When you finally stopped looking at the sky and focussed on your path, you felt your body colliding with somebody else.The both of you fell to the ground.“i'm really sorry! I should've watched where i was going,are you oka-”He didn't quite finish his sentence. With mouth half wide open and wide eyes,Chan stared at you.God,you were the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

He smile at you and his dimples instantly enchant you.You two didn't know what to say so you stayed silent looking at each other.Chans laugh bright the world .”Do you have anything you need to do now? if not perhaps can i invite you for cup of tea” you shyly smiled “maybe” that time you didn't know your new friendship will once bloom into something beautiful.

Chan was cuddling with Berry her tail moving in sign of enjoyment.Berry was the cutest dog you ever seen but whenever you tried to step closer and pet her she always pushed you away.You watch them from afar your heart melting at your view seeing Chan being happy is enough to make you smile. You didn't know when you fell for Chan maybe it was when he showed in your house in 3am when you cried  over your crush reject,he showed how much he cared and you was thankful for him.

On other side Chan’s heartbeat was faster as well he knew that he loved you since he first met you,you was someone he deeply cares about.Your love,kindness,caring and bright personality make him fall for you even faster.He lived for every moment with you and wouldn't exchange you for anything. When you find someone special you never want to lose them.

he stopped caring about Berry and his attention was on you.Chan come sit next to you on couch,he leaned closer to you and whisper into your ear “I seen you checking me out do you like me that much” he smirked,you froze and blushed.When you didn't pay attention he started to tickle you.You broke into unstoppable laughter “Chan stop!” you say through your laugh “Never!” He chuckle.Berry looked at you two,barked and left room.Chan didn't pay much attention to that and looked back at you “it's late let’s get you home”  way to your house you two talked and talked and before you know you stand before your house.

Chan scratch his neck in unsure “i was wondering if you have a free time tomorrow..ehh do you want to go on date with me?” Chan blushed,you smiled and kissed his cheek “did this answer your question?” before he could wake up from his thoughts you was already home.Chan was leaving with big smile on his face and with blush on his cheeks.

Next day you wake up with smile remembering what happened yesterday  you thought it was just dream but the message on your phone tell you otherwise ;Be ready around 7pm im going to pick you up.i can't wait to see you; you fell back into your bed finally your love could be relieved to the world and most importantly to Chan.

it was your lucky day everything you did goes extremely well.Your day goes fast and it was time for your and Chans date.You showered,made your make up and dress up in sweet flower dress,second after you finished someone ring on door.When you opened Chan stand on *second* side in suit with bouquet of roses.You gladly taken them and get them into vase.

It was time for you two to leave but Chan stopped you ”Can i blindfold you? i really want this to be surprise for you” you agreed and Chan blindfolded you,he took your hand “I won't let anything hurt you,im here by your side.You don’t need to be scared darling.You trust me right” he kissed your temple.You trusted him with your whole heart. Chan tell you every little thing he did and that makes you feel more safe.You've got into his car he helped you with everything,you smiled at him even though you couldn't see him.

Chan was driving for quite some time,he finally stopped the car and helped you out.When you was safely outside the car Chan takes your hand “This is our first stop are you ready?” he takes down the blindfold and you see where you are  “an Aquarium?” You smiled lovingly never knew that this would be the first place in his mind “You really surprised me with this” Chan didn't know if you liked his idea but after seeing your eyes light up and smile he was sure you going to love this “It’s going to be fun,lets observe some fish”.

You two go inside first there was transparent underwater tunnel with so much beautiful and colourful fish that you didn't know where to look first. “Oh my God there's Mandarinfish! and on this side is Clown Fish and can you see this one is French Angel Fish!” You run around looking like a happy child and Chan absolutely loved this side of you,he didn't even questioned from where you know what type of fish that is.You showed him every different fish you seen “CHAN LOOK!” You yelled before showing him a fat fish who was staring at you.You laughed as you leaned your head on his shoulder “this is amazing Chinnie”.Chan laughs at the fish and playfully tried to punch it to not stare at you “I'm happy you like it” Soon it was time to go but before you leave Chan bought big dolphin plushie for you. “Lets go to the second place i want to visit with you”He lovingly said.

You was surprised that he thought about more than one place.You really wanted to know where he takes you but Chan just smiled at you “there is this special place I wanted to go with you” When you get out of his car you go into Park but on one special place there was a lake and in the middle was blossom tree and all the memories comes to you.”This is the places we see other for the first time,do you remember?”He softly laughed

“You changed my life to better I don't know what would i do without you”He brushpiece of  your hair behind your ear and leaned closer his eyes focusing on your lips.When his phone ringed.Chan apologise and accepted upcoming call “Chan you should come home,we have some problems with Berry and i think you are not going to be happy..” Chan was surprised he thought what bad could Berry do,with calm in his voice he answer “Hannah i can't come now,you need to deal with it by yourself” Chan eyes was focused on you again “So where were we?”You felt his breath on your lips and it made you crazy. His arm was wrapped around your waist, while the other was on the back of your neck. "Finally, i can do this" his low voice send shivers down your spine. At final, his lips connected with yours.He kissed you passionately,he deepen the kiss.You melted into the kiss.His tongue slips inside your mouth, gentle but demanding, and it’s nothing like you’ve ever experienced.Your fingers grip his hair, pulling him closer.When you kissed your veins throb and your heart explodes.You have never wanted anyone like this before.You was determined  to give your all to Chan,you wanted his touch his love.

Chan leaned away you both instantly missed that connection.He smiled and started his speech "We have been friends for some time now.Not one day has gone by without my thinking of you. And when I do think of you, the biggest smile comes across my face.I feel warm all over, and my heart skips a beat whether we're on the phone or just in the same room. Love, just looking into your eyes makes me remember the first day we met. i often think about what you and I have been through, I see that I can only love you more and more with each passing day. You're my inspiration each and every day. You are what keeps me going when I just want to give up. You are my reason for living. I wish you could feel all the passion and all the love that I carry around for you. You have won my heart and soul.You have won it all.I always wanted whole world not knowing that my world is standing next to me.Would you make me the luckiest man and allowed me to make you my lover?" You couldn't stop your tears and nodded.He softly kissed you on forehead.

    Chan and you comes into his house when you light up the light you two shockingly looked at each other.When Hannah said that Berry did something any of you didn't think that it would be that bad. Chan headphones was on ground chewed that you could found piece almost in every room,the couch ripped in every spot,Chans things was everywhere but mostly his laptop was broke and all you could do was unbelievable look around one the disaster what was made.Chan didn't know what's going on with his dog this never happened before and he started to think what could be the purpose of this.It makes him sad all things and important files what he hardly worked on was gone just because of small devil.

Berry happily come towards you two her tail waving in greetment but seeing Chan make her putting her tail between her legs.Berry come closer to him and she licked his face and Chan knew he can't stay mad at her.He started to cuddled with berry and you thought it would be a good idea to go and pet her too when your hand get closer to her.Berry started to growl on you making you flinch out of fear and you leave into another room.Chan didn't like it at all but he finally find out what happened and shaked his head.He go to find you. 

You was in kitchen drinking water when you felt body from behind and sweet kiss on top of your head.Chan touch bring you comfort that you visibly relaxed "Channie i don't understand why your dog hate me so much" he could hear that you was upset.He turned you around and slowly leaned into soft kiss.you smiled.When he pulled away and let his forehead rest on yours.

He look into your eyes with so much love "Don't worry my love she doesn't hate you i finally found out what's wrong with her" he laughed.“so what's up with berry?” you asked Chan.”She give me all the sign of jealousy but i didn't pay enough attention to it “ Chan softly laughed .You felt weight on your legs. When you looked down you seen Berry leaning around your legs you smiled “so it's time to give her some love” you petted and cuddled with berry and she was running around you,she licked you and you could see that she's absolutely happy.

You soon forget chan and started to ignore him “you already make Berry jealousy and now you want make me too” he smiled giving his arm around your shoulder to keep you closer.for that moment you was happy you get man of your dreams and his dog loves you.You always thought Berry hate you but finding why she acted like that just because of jealousy make you chuckle..

[cuethetommo]

Idk if you have discussed it before, it's also ok to answer me in tag bcs it's sensitive but I wanna ask dyk that some people think / accuse Harry as zion*st / support Israel? I'm kinda new to the fandom (after hiatus) so idk much about what he did back then but I just read that Harry wore David star necklace for a long time and has tattoo of Gemma's name written in Hebrew? Does it make him Israel supporter, or he's just uneducated or ignorant? Sorry I'm just so confused bcs many ppl bash him

I think it’s important to make sure folks know where I’m coming from when I answer questions. I am from the US, living in Los Angeles. I was raised Catholic and Southern Baptist and I don't believe in religion for myself anymore. I am white, an Abolitionist, and fundamentally believe settler colonialism is bad. I am not an expert in anything involving the State of Israel or Palestine.

It feels imperative to me that supporting Jewish folks and Jewish culture not get conflated with supporting the State of Israel and the settler-colonial project. I believe the things you point to (Gemma in Hebrew and the Star of David necklace) show that Harry supports Jewish people and culture and say nothing about the State of Israel.

However, Harry has done things in the past that suggest he supports the State of Israel and @dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram has outlined that better than I could and also has a better analysis than I do.

I also have trouble (and Ralph has articulated this as well) with the idea that if Harry supports the State of Israel that it comes from a place of ignorance. Plenty of folks are educated and make choices. I know a number of them in real life. 

I do think it is misleading to assume that Harry shares Ben Winston’s politics. Ben Winston is the one who is most vocal in his support of the State of Israel. He’s also come down on the horrible sides of British politics so I’m really not surprised. Similarly, I don’t think (even though I’d LOVE to) that Harry liking posts from Patrisse Cullors (co-founder of Black Lives Matter) on Instagram means he suddenly shares her politics (which are for a Free Palestine). 

I will share what I have seen in the conversation here in LA recognizing that what Europeans know is different than what folks in the US know. But I can only interact from my own positionality. In a big mood kind of way settler colonialism hides itself. If you’re from the US and don't know what settler colonialism is or that the US is a settler colonialist project, then that has proven my point.

Colonialism is about forcibly taking resources from other places. Settler colonialism is about sending people to essentially squat on land and then claim it as their own and fight and kill the people already there. (This is a vast oversimplification, I encourage anyone to read more).

So, folks the world over are told that the Israel/Palestine conflict is about two groups of people who just don’t like each other. (More oversimplification). Then folks take a very real global tragedy that is inexcusable (the Holocaust) and say that the State of Israel was necessary as a response. This also hides history dating back to the 1800s where Zionists in Europe were moving to Palestine. Settler colonialism is about land and resources and power.

Let me be clear, I believe that everyone deserves a life free of persecution. And Jewish folks the world over are STILL persecuted. And there are MANY organizations run by Jewish people in support of a Free Palestine who recognize that what is currently being perpetrated by the State of Israel is genocide. But in many circles (even otherwise progressive ones) criticism of the State of Israel is seen as anti-Semitic and a statement that folks think Jewish people should die. And that’s not the case. But it shuts down any conversation about what is happening.

So back to Harry. Do I think he supports the State of Israel? I don’t know. I can point to former evidence. But I’d like to imagine that people can evolve their positions. I do think it is important to note that as a person who isn’t Jewish, Harry is likely listening to his Jewish friends. So his politics could be in line with Ben’s.

My hope and dream is that Harry is actually digging in this moment of global uprising. I don’t believe Harry has any kind of useful analysis of structural power. But if he was going to develop one, following Black Lives Matter is a solid choice. 

I’d also say to everyone using resources and brain space to try to convert celebrities into movement folks: organize the people you know with the same vigor. Talk to the people in your communities. Get them involved in movement building.

[anochuu]

Greed (R18+)

⤷ Genres: fluff, very slight angst, vague smut yall naughty children go bless yourself,

⤷ WARNING: includes non-con(force seduction)⚠️

⤷ Jungkook x Reader (Oneshot)

⤷Summary: (Y/n) is totally fine sharing her man with the whole wide world; But the man himself contend otherwise.

I always believed that the love he gave me are limitless-clearly from all the attentions and acts he has given to me even in the eyes of the public does not stop him from the skinship.

Once in a while his hold screams possessiveness,aggressive that it's painful on me but at times his touch could be so gentle that he is so afraid to break the delicate me,treat me with all cautious and gentleness.

He is the young man i have come to know very well-love by many and fans are obsess with him,everything he does are perfect in their eyes. Always known as the innocent features he have,cute peculiar habits and srunches his nose whenever he laughs or grin. Typical,i must say but he really is very charming.

Dating a now famous idol is a challenge for sure and many i have to overcome but fortunately i am not a person to be fuss over things i do not find it necessary to mind about.So i am good to say.

But not with the opposite latter.

"H-hey!" I gasp when he pushes me abruptly against the wall,the walk-in wardrobe door behind us slammed close and he locks it without even looking behind.

"What was that?" He asks,voice low and his breath brushes my cheek considering the closet fits right only for two people but then again, it was suppose to be one.

"What was..what?" I gaze up at him,quizzicaly.

"I left just for a while for the fan meeting and yet,you're flirting already with one of the crews?"

The creased on my forehead deepens,What is he trying to say? Flirting? What i am just having a normal conversations with his staffs is what he called flirting?

"Jungkook,you're mistaken,he was just-"

"Oh i know," He mutters, "But you're letting your guard down too much,(y/n). You're letting all the men have their ways with you."

"And all men are wolves,do you not know that? Or clearly,i haven't shown it to you enough?"

The shivers ran down my spine when his eyes glowered,his grip tightens around me making me unable to move a muscle.

The possessiveness starts to take over him and easily i suppose;on the opposite side, He can't control his emotions well leading to a sensitive jealousy whenever i am out from his sight.

I sigh when he dips his head down to start placing hungry kisses along my neck,his cold pair of lips that sends a guilty ecstacy but love it; me who is one to be manipulated by him;bewitched.

Jungkook unbinds my hair and in no time at all,he inhales the scent of the locks deep,his skillful hands locked mine in place giving him easy access without my fight.

"Jungkook.."

"Do you have any idea how you're looking at me right now?"

"How i'm...?" I shake my head weakly and he uses that motion to glide his lips up and down of my jawline,carressing my cheekbones with his hot breath.

"You misunderstood,we didn't do anything." I manage to speak between ragged  breathing.

"Oh ,angel, i'm not mad at you." He lets out a throaty chuckle and in this dim closet,i could make out a little what expression he is wearing right now.

"I'm frustrated that you're too easy to be approach by other men.Can't you tell the difference?"

A faint commotion was heard from behind closed door and it made him stiffen for a while,the announcement has been released and we both know who it is cue for.

"I guess that's my cue." He glances over his shoulder,before slowly gazing back into my eyes.

"Wait for me back home," His voice softens, peering down into my face, before placing a deep but short enough kiss to my lips,feeling the slight of his wet muscles upon mine.

"I'll call you." He last said then left the closet,leaving me alone with a burning flared heat rise up to my face and i even need to hold myself up against the wall to prevent me from melting down.

"Wh-what the hell..Jeon Jungkook.."

That night,not having the chance to greet him by the door,exhaustion took over me and i could not help but to fall asleep and even the clock is ticking late when all he did back then,when i recalled was that just to wait for him;didn't really specify when.

That is when i felt a weight over the bed around me,the bed creaks as it sunken down and a figure hovers above me.

The gentleness of the fingers graze upon my cheek causes me to stir slowly awake,coming to my senses.

When i did open my eyes,his breathtaking feature came into view,

"Jungkook.." His name slurred from my mouth,rubbing my eyes to make sure it is really him right here.

"Did i wake you up?"

"No," I lied, positioning myself to fully facing him,

"Did you just got home?"

He hums in respond, already stirred by his needs which is,lust.Jungkook held both my arms up, pinioning them beside my head,butterfly kisses were given to my along my jawline. What makes me awake next when he sucks sharply against my skin and jolted me a surprise,his teeth nibbles on them.

"W-wait—Jungkook-ah.."

"Sorry," He apologizes, "I'm here to keep my promise."

His lips found their way back to latch against mine,each foldings sends a shivers down my spine and i had to tilt my head to the side away from him to catch my breath when he did not given me any.

I sigh when his kisses distracted me,but his skillful hands starts to shed my apparel one by one before i knew it,

"Lift your arms up." He whispers hastily and i obliged in the heat of moment;he then pulls my T-shirt up and toss them aimlessly to the other side of the bed,the cold welcoming my body.

"Are you still mad?" I ask when he lowers himself down to place chaste kisses on my chest and stomach.

"No." He reply,pulling away from me just to peel off his own shirt,revealing his muscular biceps-toned abs and abroad chest where his gymnasium results shown very clearly.

"You know how i am,(y/n)." He hovers above me again,tugging on my shorts,in one swift movement he slids down off of it from my legs.

"You are aware of my possessiveness." He leans down,buried his face onto the crook of my neck and purposely tilted my head to the side giving him full access to it.

"But yet you're still here."

At this point i am utterly confuse; Was he doing all this because of natural emotions ,or is it because of jealousy? Is it because he is the way he is right now and no one can change that? Or is it because he love me too much just by seeing another man beside me infuriates him?

The perplexity turns down my will and mood instantly,my hazy eyes and senses snaps back.

"Jungkook—"

"Turn around for me,baby." He interjected,the lust in his eyes became incisive,and whatever is say now might become pointless to his ears.

When i did not even budge, he grabs my shoulder but gently and flips me around as he wishes me to,my stomach facing the bed and my back facing him.His fingertips trace on my skin, to places i have never been but i am blindly following his joy.

"Ah!" I yelped when i felt the tip of his slender fingers flicks my folds below,my hands curling to fists the bed's mattress beneath us.

"This is—unfair," I writhe; "It's a foul mov—Nnh!" I slap a palm over my mouth,refusing to let out the sound coming out from my lips that even i myself heard it very...uncomfortable.

He inserted one digits at a time,ignoring my pleas and stiffled moans-beads of sweats form around my temples whilst his fingers starts to move in and out sending guilt yet pleasure within me.

He bends down and breathe heavily right on the side of my earlobe,

"Lift your ass up." The last cue he had for me

Through my half-lidded eyes he sent me to the abyss and i am in no strength to refuse his evil invitation. I did not realize the tip of his hot sex meets my entrance,without another word easing himself inside and my body tense instantly. Biting my tongue,i hold back the urge to moan.

"Jungkook-!" I called once more before he can move further,laid my head onto the bed and narrowed my eyes to see him above, the sweats also forms around his forehead,down to his chin.

"I don't want this.." I beg,

"Let's..let's stop this now,okay?" I panted, and finally, his movement stop so as his eyes bored to me.

It is unfair how he can keep his composure and even looks up, while i completely bet i look like a shrimp on a steam of hot water right now,wriggling jittery to get free. Now that i'm looking back, all he did was just to relief his stress on me,using my body as he pleases. The touching never stops even if we are in public despite his status and that scared me so much

Am i drunk in this love alone? With him falling half-way instead? This is too terrifying and risky.

Then i snapped out from my own daze when i feel his fingers brushes my fringe out of the way that sticks onto the side of my face,tucking them to the side,

"You hate this?" His voice hoarse,filled the now silent room.

With my remaining strength,i pull myself up and lean on both elbows, "I didn't said that, i just don't like—the situations."

"Situations?"

"Yes!" I sigh exasperatedly, "Jungkook,let's stop for today,please?"

His eyes darkens for a moment that gives me a genuine fear for once, Is it because i defy him?

"Why now of all times?" He questions quietly,sinking himself deeper instead and the fraction of pleasure sends me collapse on the bed again, a loud moan escapes my mouth this time,

"Do you hate me?" His chest bumps on my back,whispering close to the side of my face;the heat he is emitting is too much for me to handle that i am starting to lose my mind and when i do,there is no going back.

"N-no aahn—!" I writhe,squirming under him.

"Then why?"

His movement is slow,electrifying me as if he is taking his time to devour me. His both hands trails up reaching for my fingers,entertwining them all tightly.

I began to see stars and could not answer him for i am too busy not to get ahead over my own voice,giving him the satisfaction that he really is good in doing this. It takes a few moments longer until he sped up and i can not keep up anymore.The fierce heat takes a hold of me,trapping me down.

"I'm too close.." He murmurs,his teeth nibbles on my exposed shoulders,

"(Y/n)," he breathe out; "Look at me,eung?" He adopted a pleading tone and simply he knows it very well he uses that soft tactic against me who can't refuse whenever he does that.

And so i did,this time his sweat drips on the tip of his chin,his eyes seems glossy.He lowers himself and kisses me fiercely,distracting me from the fact he comes but the heat yet reaches the depth of my body

He pulls away leaving a string of saliva between us. He collapses upon me,each of us trying to catch breaths within our lungs,

"Are you disgusted?" Jungkook breaks the silence,

"What?" I manage to speak up but small.

"Are you going to leave me? Because you're disgusted by me?"

I kept quiet. And he continue,

"I am a very selfish man,i like to keep things close to me when they've become my favourites. What's yours is mine and what's mine is mine,you know that very well,don't you?"

There was another pregnant of silence,

"I broke your wings,if that is what you despise,you may wish to go." He pulls himself away and i froze,whirled around to see him fully in the face.

He stood up and putting on his pants quietly,leaving me thinking to myself. Do i want this? Although most part of my heart knows well i love him so badly that i have to deny that fact.

"I can't control my possessiveness,you're scared of that too,i can see it." He pointed out,still not looking at me

"Jungkook," Without thinking i reach out to grab his hand which caught his attention back to our hands,then to me.

"I don't hate it.." Our eyes intensely bored to one another.

"I'm just..i was just,scared that i might break easily if you hold me too tight and at the same time, i am scared i disappointed you;what if you are possessive over nothing at the end?"

Jungkook spun around, "(Y/n),listen to me.You are not nothing." He cups my face,leaning closer,

"I love you,with every ounces of my being.This side of me,is only shown to you because i am terrified with the thought you will get sick of me some day."  He places chaste kisses on each of my eyelids,

"I went overboard today,i'm sorry. Forgive me?"

His beaming gaze pleads,asking for tolerance this time and my heart skips a beat.

I nod,"Please don't do that again," I wrap my arms around his neck,pulling him down with me until my back hits the mattress once more.

A throaty chuckles slips from his mouth and he kisses me again,this time the tip of my nose,

"I was scared,your grips..." i trailed off.

"I know," He rested his forehead on mine;knowing well what i meant,

"I'm sorry ,baby. I won't do it again."

His lips glided down from my cheekbones to my lips,pulling it into a deep-locking sensation,my eyes fluttering close slowly in the process. His hands roams around my hips,his thumb drawing circles lovingly and i anticipated what's next,

"I can't hold back again if you're this cute." He murmurs,sighing against my lips,

"Then don't"

Jungkook pulls away slightly just to get a good look on my expression, a jolt of surprise in his widened eyes,

"(Y/n)?"

I giggled, "Don't stop,Jungkook." I lift myself up,hugging his neck and my turn this time to bury my nose on the valley between his shoulder

"What's yours is yours,you said that."

It took him a few seconds to digest what i had just uttered, he took my face in his hold once more,

"I love you." He repeatedly whispers between our mingling breaths,sinking back to the bed and i was eaten by his abroad back;his hands traces along my thighs before slowly spreading them open,drawing another circles with his thumbs on the inner skin as if i am his proud masterpiece.

"Something so amazing...so beautiful..all for me.”

[bi-lullaby]

I loved your last rankings so much that I'm sending you another fun (?!) challenge! How would you rate all these male GA characters from your favorite to least favorite, no ties allowed? :) Alex, Derek, Richard, Mark, Owen, Jackson, Burke, George, Andrew, Linc and Ben? Good luck, and as always, feel free to include your reasons why because I love your answers!

Ohhh boy you give me life with those asks! Here we go:

1 - As no surprise to anyone: Alex. My baby had the best character development I’ve ever seen, really, brcaus ewhile it was huge, it was also paced and believable and stabilished and non-linear. He was a huge asshole with a concealed heart of gold in season one. In season 15, he’s a golden boy with a concealed asshole side, and the growth/diminishment of those sides weren’t always inversely proportionate, but adjusted to what each characteristic was brought out more by his surroundings/worked more on by himself. Also, he’s the person that has stuck with mer for the longest and through the most, which would put him in a high place in this list even if he wasn’t my favorite on his own. I also adore how, thematically, he’s so moved by the women in his life (bot just the romantic i terests while we are at it) for the betterment of himself and hsi ways. It’s not like Owen’s “I’ll need her to take care of me emptionally and shape herself to my desires so I can be in a good place, it’s recognizing those positive influences in his life and trying to emulate them/work with them/learn from them. Also about his theme, itms less the worn-out “guy is validated in being an asshole bc he had a tough life” and more “guy learns that his tough life doesn’t mean he gotta act like an asshole”. I love this character so much, ugh.

2 - Ben. A freaking Disney prince would be a sleeazy douche in comparison. I was so weirded out when Shobda decided to give so much focus to this random-ass character, then I was really turned off by his storyline with the cutting people open and all that (not necessarily because I thought he was wrong, I just felt the storyline was handled awkwardly and made him sound pelutant and irresponsible instead of a promissing, if stubborn, future surgeon. I’ve yet to watch Station 19, but this angel with a scalpel and a fire hose for wings deserves his own goddamn spin-off, for sure.

3 - My baby Andrew. Yeah, he is not that developed, has been inconsistent, his change from “freaking out over Maggie being his boss” to “marvellung at Meredith’s every movie even though she’s kinda even more his boss because she owns the hospital” was... A B R U P T. But I really enjoy this new Andrew - as a side note: I could not care less for him during the whole Sam storyline, he seemed like a toned down Jonhy Bravo - He’s smart and sweet and funny and worships Mer like the Wonder Woman she is. His relationships with Arizona, Amelia, Jo, Carina and now Alex need more screentime because they’re great (or have the potential to be so). He’s competent and brilliant and selfless (dropping the charges on Alex even if he was completely in the right, taking the blame for mer now) and so tender (his absolute gentleness in peds, taking care of Amy after the operation, being a moody, emotive boy because he lost his love instead of a macho men...). The future holds great things for him, and I’m excited to watch them unfold!

4 - Not on your list but I love: Tom. Boy is he nice. As I was figuring out this order, I realized he reminds me a lot of my favorite character (Dean Winchester) - or at least what I think Dean would be if he was older, richer and lived without the Supernatural World and so many traumas. His talk to April was so moving and I felt it really helped. He doesn’t stand on a moral high horse: He does what he thinks is right and damned be judgment. He’s empathetic, he’s romantic, he treats Teddy RIGHT. He deserves to have his own storyline and be more developed and show us kore of his awesomeness.

5 - Jackson. As I said in my ships rating answer, I’ve only started to care for him recently, but I really do care. He’s not a character I’d, like, write fic about, or long rants and meta, but I love his sibling-esque relationship with Mer and his relationship with Maggie and the way he connects with his mom and how this spoiled, immature transfer with something to prove became a respected, innovative surgeon and father who’s secure of himself and ready to explore different paths and ways and worldviews. I just wish him, and the Grey’s fandom, would be less defensive about the callout of his privileged life. Like. I’ve seen people write paragraphs upon paragraphs about how Maggie was a bitch for calling him privileged. And he is (for his hoards upon hoards of money growing up). That’s not too hard a concept to grasp. Plus, it’d be nice if he could treat Maggie as less of a consolation prize/second chance. Just because faith (or lack thereof) was a source of tension in his previous marriage, and he feels like changing that would have made everything better, doesn’t mean the same applies to his current relationship, or that Maggie is the one who should change -he learned, learned, and is back in square one seeing only his side of it - I really hope this season treats him more kindly and gives him happiness and peace!

6 - Richard. I love him for his parental-and-ish relationships, specially to Maggie, Mer and Jackson, but to Bailey and Callie too. That’s my favorite aspect of him, watching those gives me a nice, warm feeling in my tummy and puts a smile on my face. There’s some aspects of him I find either boring or unpleasant, and I think it’s kinda annoying how him retiring has been a theme/conflict since, like, season one, and fast-foward ten years and he’s basically an entity at the hospital. Like? What? Was the point? You’ve waisted my time? For nothing? But he’s a solid, reliable character you can’t really hate and who brings more good than bad to the show by far. As a side note: one day I will yell at him for his treatment of Maggie after she talked about HER OWN HISTORY and he basically called her a mistake (although he apologized pretty soon and she forgave him so so will I).

7 - Mark. He was great and all that, but never sparked that love some characters did. I was sad when he died, I loved his scenes and relationships, I just am not invested in him. Plus the immaturity in his relationship with Lexie pisses me off a bit, as does his “man whore” personality.

8 - Link. Genuinely love him, he’s been nothing but sweet and kind and fun and helpful this entire time! I cheered for Merlink sooooo much imat first, and I really wish their friendship will be developed! Him and Jo are everything I never knew I needed. He has no arguable flaws besides being so sculped it freaks me out a little bit, but he isn’t higher up in my rank because there isn’t much material for that yet, but expect a climb as he becomes more and more regular.

9 - Burke. He was kinda sweet and did a good thing for Cristina (the hospital). He was also manipulative and arrogant and voundary-crossing in their relationship. I might like him better if it was bot for Burktina, but we will never know.

10 - Owen. Toxic as fuck, annoying, controlling, disgusting. Those are all things that very much apply to Owen in a lot of situations. Screaming at Cristina for “murdering their baby”? YIKES. Big no no. He was not suited for romantic relationships at all and I wish the show would realize that and allow him that space and breathing time without being stuck in a complicated relationship with loads of baggage or a love triangle. Because that’s my whole thing about him: I believe he has room for growth. His relationship with April is pretty amazing, he was always so considerate and gentle with her, all the time, and I want to see more of that bond. He loves kids and can be really good with them, he has a lot of things to work out with the traumas of his father’s death + war + his sister’s story. Why not focus on that? Why not show him growing and processing and bettering himself and living up to the potential he has? I feel like they gave the all the wrong romantic storylines to the character who’s otherwise really good and that’s such a shame because I really enjoyed him at first. Lets see what happens from now on, and if he gets a dose of tv’s “heterosexual love and a nuclear biological family solve everything!” medicine or if this is a turning point for him.

11 - Derek. He never really had any appeal to me. Not his face, not his personality, not his storylines or plot points pr the actor. That’s reason enough for him to rank low, but I also think he had some really bad traits. He was arrogant and condescending and had a God complex and was sexist and pushy and just not great for the people around him. Exploiting Amy’s addiction being outed to steal surgeries? Refusing to give Mer credit on their clinic trial? Putting ultimatums on his girlfriend that she either has to be ready for a full, committed relationship or end things, then call her a slut when she sleeps with other guys after they broke up? Cheating on Addison after deciding to work things out? Stringing mer and addie along? Not saying he was married in the first place? Pushing Mer’s boundaries after she was clearly uncomfortable with having slept with her boss? Refusing to have an inch of empathy for Mer’s action regarding the trial despite her complicated history with the people she was trying to help (who were her friends, actually?)? Telling his depressed girlfriend that she should be concerned the happiest part of his day was flirting with another girl from the bar? Ratting out on Richard to the board because he wanted the spot? Not acknowledging Mer’s trauma after the shooting? Kissing nurse Rose while building the dream house? Kissing his student while being married in NY? Pushing his wife to move and saying his career was more important than his after he had compromised on letting her shine? All things that, isolated, can even be understood on context and “everyone makes mistakes”, but that when put together, make it pretty clear it’s a pattern of someone with very little regard to the people around him. Was he a good surgeon? Yeah. Great father as well. He also had some interesting relationships and iconic scenes, truly, I can recognize that. I hurt for the people he loved and left behind (and I genuinely think he loved them and meant well), but he himself I don’t miss at all.

12 - I think George is the clearest contrast between how old greys handled matters of sexism and gender and sexuality and how it does now. He was such a sleazy nice guy at times, it is unbearable to me. And he ranks lower than Derek because A) His relationships also bored me while Derek’s could pique my interest at times, B) There’s no talk about his mistakes. Remember when he (in his own words) took advantage of Meredith being on a terrible, delicate, vulnerable place (still hiding her mother’s Alzheimer’s and seeing a person be blown to pieces and being dumped by who she thought was the one and being rejected by her father for the second time after seeing him for the first time in tweenty years) and, knowing that she was not interested in him, pursued her, then after she started crying because of the literal pile of shit she was having to carry around (and still trying to preserve his feelings), got mad at her and everyone sided with him? It baffled younger me to bits that what Mer had “done” was so terrible, it has not stoped bafflinn me in the years that have passed since. Can you imagine any of the girls crying during sex because they’re so overwhelmed and feel like that’s a mistake, and the guy freaks out on them and they’re instantly ostracized by the narrative and characters? That’s essentially criticizing her for the right of saying no, of stopping when she doesn’t want to continue, of not giving away her time and feels just because a goofy guy who is her friend feels entitled to them. That’s the word: entitled. He literally says he “saw her first”. How’s that not Nice Guy 101? I would understand his ego being bruised, but the guilt tripping and the bitching and the fact none of that is treated as a fucking creepy thing? Yikes. Also how he treated Callie, who deserved so, so much better. And even Olivia who was perfectly lovely and did nothing wrong besides having sex with more than one guy without breaking either of their trusts because she wasn’t in a relationship with any of them. Did he do some good things? Sure did! Joey’s surgery costs being cut, helping Bailey give birth, some of his interactions with patients were really sweet, and he died giving his life for someone else. It’s just that consequence-less sexism and entitlement that never gets adressed and gets treated as not only valid, but right, that makes him go rom unappealing to downright hated for me. Better left in the past where people can misplacedly idolize him!

Thank you so much for asking, I love those thought-inspiring asks! <3

[rogue-barnes-16]

THAT PUNK (part IV/?)

Summary: Some people don’t distinguish between hate and love. Some people do, but fail to express it.

Pairing: 40's!Bucky Barnes x reader

Genre: angst-fluff

Tags: @jcalpha1 @lilypalmer1987 @sadanddeadsoul @im-so-fxcking-ace @m-a-t-91 @helddowninthisstarlesscity @littleravenwrites @swtmckngbrd @gwennyy @swissairforce-member @stealingheartsswift13 @slender--spirit @thisismyfriend-tree @lolabean1998 @crazybutconfidentaf

Warnings: drinking

A/N: the tags in bold didn't work, sorry. Also, I think I'll write just a couple of chapters after this one before finishing the miniseries, so get ready for the end. Feedback is always appreciated <3.

Chapter I

Chapter II

Chapter III

Rogue-barnes-16 masterlist

Requests are open so feel free to send me an ask <3.

BUCKY'S P. O. V.

"James, darlin', Where're ya goin'?" I barely heard my mother while I was picking up my jacket. I hadn't been able to focus on anything since Y/n closed the door. I glanced at it, from time to time. I guess I was waiting for her to come back. "James?"

I blinked and I saw my mother had moved from the living room to be in front of me. I had to seem really off for her to have that worried look while she scanned me with her eyes. "I'm gonna go dancing with Steve and a couple of gals, Ma."

She pursed her lips hesitant before coming back to the living room, taking the now empty dishes to the kitchen. "don't come back too late, darlin', and be careful."

I gave her a the best smile I could form before putting on my jacket and grabbing some money. "don't worry, Ma. But I might stay at Steve's, 'm not sure."

My mother sighed, but allowed me to do as I wanted. I kissed Rebecca's forehead and my mother's cheek before going out.

I got out of the building and I saw Steve waiting there, sitting on the stairs. "hey, pal" I greeted him while I helped him to get up.

"Hey, Buck" he greeted back. We started to walk to the nearest bar "how did it go the talk with your sister's bestfriend?" and there it was again. Y/n. Steve had seen her a few times while he was in my house and Y/n came to pick up Becca.

I gulped. Suddenly, my feet were the only thing I wanted to look at. "It didn't go well, I made her cry. I ruined everything again because of that damn kiss, and I think this time I lost her for good." I wasn't ready to say it out loud, I guess, because my voice cracked in the end. I cleared my throat trying to hide it, but Steve always saw throw me.

"Oh, so Y/n was that girl?" I nodded. Steve knew about what happened with Y/n, but I never said her name. "Oh." he repeated, looking down, with his hands inside his pockets. "y'know, we don't have to go anywhere, we can just go for a walk and then go home."

I nodded. I really wasn't in the mood for a dance. So we did as Steve said. We walked for half an hour approximately while I told him everything about what had happened with me and Y/n a couple of hours ago. And then, I walked Steve home. "sleep well, punk" I said.

"jerk" he answered, opening the door. Before getting in, he turned around to face me "y'know Buck? You won't ever know if you've lost Y/n, unless you ask her."

"she won't talk to me again, Stevie." I shrugged, my hands in my pockets "she hates me, and honestly, I don't blame her. I've been a jerk"

He huffed before replying. "You know that's not true. I mean, you've been a jerk" he took two steps upstairs, and spoke again. "but Y/n doesn't hate you. She wouldn't have saved your ass from your Ma and Becca otherwise."

And without giving me a chance to argue what he had just said, he got inside, closing the door behind him.

That punk knew nothing, Y/n hated me. She hated me, right? What if she didn't? What if Steve was right?

I wandered around her neighborhood for almost fifteen minutes, trying to be brave enough to knock her door. The 'what if's were killing me, but I couldn't find it in me to go to her house.

It was too late anyways, and I was sure as hell the last thing she wanted was to open her door and see me, standing there in the middle of the night... Right?

I tried walking back home, but before I realized it, I was spending all the money I had with me in alcohol, sitting on a stool in a bar near Y/n's building.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

READER'S P. O. V.

I took a deep breath to calm myself when I entered in my apartment. I put a smile on my face and I took off the pins holding my hair. "Mom, I'm home!" I announced.

When nothing came in reply to my statement, I walked to the kitchen counter, where my mother left a note whenever she left.

And there it was. I hopped onto the counter and I read the couple of lines written down on the piece of paper in my hands. Apparently, my aunt was sick, so my mother would take care of her and come back the following day around noon. I sighed, swinging my feet. The day was getting better and better.

First Rebecca had lied to me - it was quite obvious his brother told her to do that -, then, I made the mistake of having hopes about fixing things with Bucky, and then, I cried in front of him for some stupid reason, making the both of us uncomfortable.

In addition to all of this, my mother wouldn't be at home until morning, so I didn't have anyone to talk about this with.

I decided the best I could do was having a quick dinner go to sleep. Yeah, sleeping would help me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Luck definitely wasn't on my side, because I couldn't fall asleep. I tried to, but I ended up tossing the sheets off my body and getting up.

I since I was alone, I didn't even bother on putting on my housecoat over my nightgown before walking to the kitchen. After drinking some water, I decided maybe some cold air will help me, so I opened the kitchen window and I hopped onto the counter to feel the cool air directly.

I heard knock on my door and I jumped off the counter, thinking the worst. The knocks were fast, almost hysterical. What if something had happened to my aunt?

I jogged towards the door and, when I opened it, I almost fell to the floor. Standing in front of me was Bucky, crying nonstop.

I had no time to ask what was he doing there, because he took a step forward, crashing against me in a tight hug with enough strength to make me step backwards, almost tripping on my way. I could smell the alcohol before he said a word.

"I-I'm sorry... I'm s-so sorry for everything, please don't walk away from me again, p-please I-I'm sorry Y/n" he kept rumbling against my shoulder, his arms wrapped around my neck, and I couldn't tell if he was tightening the grip because he didn't want to let me push him away or because he couldn't stand upright.

"You're drunk" it's all I managed to say, still stiff. He started to cry harder, burying his face on the crook of my neck.

"I-I didn't h-have the guts to c-come here sober" he muttered shaking. "I-I swear I tried, I-I tried coming here sober, b-but I hurt you s-so many times t-that I couldn't"

I closed my eyes, and before I could stop myself, my hands where caressing his back reassuringly. "Does your Ma know where are you?" I asked resigned.

"N-no" he answered quietly and more relaxed. However, he quickly went stiff again. "D-Don't tell her I'm drunk please. I'll leave, just don't tell her"

I sighed, pulling him away slowly, in an attempt to help him regain his balance. However, the moment, I let go of him for him to walk, he tripped, almost falling. "I'm not telling her, but you can't leave in this state." I stated, holding him upright by his forearms.

He stared at me with glossy eyes, a spark of hope shining in them when he realized I was letting him stay. I looked down, blushing when he didn't look away. He let his forehead rest against my shoulder again, this time a bit calmer. Despite this, his voice cracked when he spoke, and I felt tears wetting my nightgown. "You're an angel Y/n. I-I don't deserve you."

[ghostnova]

hello ! I am a baby witch, and I'm exploring all kinds of magick work, and doing my best to research as much as I can. I've only recently stumbled upon spirit work. what kind of vessels do spirits usually arrive in when you purchase them? what kinds of spirits usually hang around houses in urban areas (if any; I think there's one in the corner of my bedroom), and would they make good companions? apologies for so many questions! if you could answer that would be very helpful. thank you!

Hi there!

Vessels can be pretty much anything you and the spirit want them to be! Most of the time though shops send out jewelry or stones because it’s easiest with shipping & it’s also easy for you to carry/wear around on your body. Any type of spirit can hang out anywhere! The ones that I find most common in cities are generally human spirits & an occasional demon. Angels are often found all over the place. Faeries will also hang around where there are wooded areas and can be found around flowers. The more you go into a forest, the more likely you are to find some of the “bigger” spirits (like dragons" because most of the time they prefer seclusion.

As for which ones make good companions, that all depends on you (when you’re ready, that is)! Most people say start out with spirits that are white arts so you know you’re not going to be harmed, and while I definitely agree to that, I can’t say I did that myself. I started out working with vampires, and because of who I am as a person, I generally keep dark arts spirits. Go with what you feel a calling towards, but definitely make sure to do your research and be prepared to work with them!

Also, if you think there’s one in your house, you could try talking to them and leave offerings out (that definitely is if you believe that they are not a malevolent being, otherwise I wouldn’t mess with it in fear of retaliation & would work on banishing it) I hope I answered everything, and if you have more questions feel free to message me privately or if you want to stay anon you can keep asking me whatever (I’ll definitely answer to the best of my ability!)

*please keep in mind that this comes from my personal experience, and if I’m wrong about anything please correct me!*