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#feel free to ask follow-up questions
my-deer-friend · 5 months
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Good luck on your source-finding journey friend! I am so interested in the process of tracking down sources and documents, but I've never done it before. Can you explain your process or do you have any tips?
Hi anon! Thanks for the ask. This is not a research guide, just some pointers I've found useful (as someone trained in other forms of academic research who learned how to work with archives).
First things first – forget google. Google scholar is decent for tracking down secondary academic sources (though hardly comprehensive), but with a few notable exceptions, archive databases that hold primary source materials are not indexed on normal search engines. Instead, you need to spend some time finding the repositories where your sought-after documents are likely to be, and then running your searches inside those.
The one thing google is useful for is to see if someone has already gone to the trouble of formally publishing the documents you're looking for. You'll want to search for things like "papers of...", "correspondence of...", or "writings of...". If you get a result, see if you can find that book on google books, archive.org, or at your local library (definitely don't check on libgen, because downloading a free book would be bad and awful and terrible of you 🤫).
These collected editions are not always reliable (especially older ones, since there was a lot of gratuitous editing going on). So, to be rigorous, you still want to see if you can find the actual, original source.
The easiest starting point for tracking those down is to find a secondary source that has already done most of the work for you. A reliable book or academic article will cite its primary sources, which should include which archive or collection the author found the document in.
If you are immeasurably lucky, you will find that respoitory online, and it will have a fully-digitised collection their holdings, and a reliable, searchable index based on keywords and transcripts. In that case, just type in your search term and enjoy.
(Note: the search functionality on these sites is often very wonky. Always try several versions of your search term, and play around with the filters and boolean operators.)
But those sites are rare. If you're less (but still a little bit) lucky, you'll find an academic institution or research archive that has at least published a document called a finding aid. There should be one for each grouping of documents in their holdings (for example for one historical figure's papers, or for a specific bequest) which gives a summary of the contents and is used for on-site tracking of the physical items (these will have call or accession numbers, location of the documents, etc.). Finding aids vary immensely in quality and level of detail ("miscellaneous other papers" my behated).
If you do indeed find a record for something you want to look at (and it hasn't been digitised), you need to figure out the process for requesting the document. This varies hugely depending on the institution (with differing lead times, querying methods, fees, limitations, and ensuing publication/reproduction rights) and is virtually always explained somewhere on their website. Mostly, they'll ask you to complete a form, or to send an email following a template. Don't expect a quick reply, and don't expect digital copies to be free.
Of course, this all presumes that the instituton that holds your materials 1) has a website and 2) has actually put useful things on it. Sometimes, you just need to enquire. I followed up on a footnote I saw in a hundred-year-old book that gave the location of some letters, found the local town library that was mentioned and emailed them about it. (Yes, they had them, and the librarian I corresponded with was simply delightful and very eager to help.)
Be courteous and clear when you email these folks. They will almost always want to know your name, your contact details, a clear description of what you are looking for (the more detail the better), a summary of your research project, and whether you intend to publish the documents you are requesting – so save a few back-and-forth emails by providing that information upfront. They are very happy to answer requests from independent or hobby researchers, so don't let that hold you back.
The least helpful of all, in my experience, are holders of private collections. They simply don't have any incentive to take time out of their day to help you, and usually aren't trained librarians or archivists so they don't know what they have, or where it is, or how to give you access. (I tear up sometimes when I think of all the documents that are lying in some manor house attic, because someone forgot they were there or thought no one would be interested.) Sometimes they will respond (eventually) to an email query; often it's just a black hole.
I hope that helps! In all frankness, much of this is dull, repetitive work that all-too-frequently leads to dead ends (but it's so good when you succeed). Persistence and patience are key.
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alluralater · 4 months
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how to flirt with girls as an inexperienced lesbian? i have no clue how, but i wanna try😭 once i get past the “you’re so pretty!” and “i like your ___!” i never know where to go from there
hi! i’m gonna go with the exact format you presented because it is very common. i got you <3
“you’re so pretty!”
“i like your ___”
okay so let’s do a little editing here.
“you’re gorgeous” not said in like a yelling extreme cute way but in a purposeful + hot way. there’s nothing wrong with excitement and personally i love it but if you’re trying to give some DEFINITE signals, whip out the thesaurus and speak with intention. magnificent, handsome, beautiful, radiant, attractive, etc. don’t be fake about it, obviously. be sincere and deliberate. choose what feels most right for the person and what they make you feel. ‘pretty’ works just as well if your delivery is good! i usually tend to avoid for a first impression just because it’s a little too broad for the way i flirt.
“i love your top!” and if they say thank you then you ask them if they thrifted it or bought it, maybe make a comment on what specifically you like. basically the goal here is to get out of the compliment area and into the conversation area without too much effort. keep things light and causal and flowing. i find nervous flirting super cute and endearing because i’m a very confident flirt and the ‘opposites attract’ is deliciousss on occasion but i get how that isn’t for everyone.
from either of these options you should begin giving someone a little preview of what you’re like, because that’s what this is, you’re giving someone an interactive little trailer to the movie of you :) so be yourself. being a fake version of yourself just to flirt is lame because it’s not as though that person will just never find out, ya know. if you intend to move things forward in ANY regard, they’ll learn you were posing. it bothers me a LOT when this happens because ofc you cannot and should not attempt to keep that same energy forever if it’s not sincere. i like my cuties genuine as fuck.
okay onto the next thing. is your body language giving flirty?? i have other asks i’ve answered where i’ve talked about green flag body language. i’d suggest reading up on it and understanding your own. flirting like this is as much a physical experience as it is a vocal one. are your arms held super tight to your body/are you covering parts of your body? are you standing stiffly? do you appear comfortable? if you’re comfortable, whoever you’re talking to is likely to gather that and feel similarly (if they’re into it). stand in front of a mirror (if possible) and try to flirt it up with yourself for a few minutes. don’t like analyze every movement- just try to generally observe and see what kind of vibe you might be giving. *if unsure, ask a friend to fake flirt with you like a little test trial. nothing wrong with asking for help if it’s making you nervous/if you can’t tell how you come off :)
at the end of the day it’s not about blind confidence, it’s about comfortability and confidence in yourself. don’t flirt with intention to gain something. it really makes all the difference. i flirt because it’s fun and i like chatting people up that i meet. puts a smile on their face and mine, and that’s more than enough for me. i feel like that guy from ratatouille. anyone can flirt!
trust me when i say it is insanely flattering when someone that nervously flirts comes up to me and does exactly that. like??? they could have easily just not but they DID and im so beyond pleased by that + grateful for their EFFORT. flirting can be very vulnerable. i do it all the time and still find myself flustered pretty much constantly <3 inexperience means nothing aside from building ‘in the field confidence.’ flirt however feels most comfortable for you. as long as you’re not being too invasive physically or asking questions that are truly none of your business, you’ll do great!
ex for clarification) don’t randomly start oversharing about potentially triggering topics, and definitely do not ask anyone about something that is commonly potentially triggering. this may sound like obvious info but i’ve been on the receiving end of this from total strangers and i cannot tell you how quickly my smile left my face while i wondered who else they had done this to. there’s nothing worse than being flirted with by someone that refuses to acknowledge the boundaries of others.
if someone doesn’t seem to be into it, wish them a lovely day and do not press them for more or expect anything. when i give someone a compliment- it is just that, a compliment. i don’t expect conversation or a phone number simply because i turned someone’s head or got their attention for a moment. it grosses me out when someone pushes and pushes when i’m very clearly not interested (saying thank you but not looking at them or specifically looking elsewhere, keeping tight body language, not encouraging conversation or responding, etc. these are particular to me ofc but i make my nos very loud while trying not to hurt someone’s feelings. some people SHOULD be humbled though for their lack of boundaries and i’ll straight out tell them they’re making me uncomfortable if that’s the case bc maybe no one else has done that to them and they need to know. hurt feelings are not more important than feeling safe).
clarification on good nervous flirting: akin to active gay panic. very cute, very jittery, lots of energy, laughing, breathlessness, etc. it’s even super cute when someone is like “i don’t do this a lot but…” “i don’t flirt very much so…” like yes yes yes tell me please and give me more info about yourself because it helps me know what i should be doing and how comfortable you actually are in this situation. communication like that is such a green flag. if i think you seem uncomfortable, i’m very unlikely to want to continue conversation even if you approached me.
on that note, if YOU become uncomfortable because the vibes are awful and continue to get worse, there’s nothing wrong with dipping out. you don’t owe anyone anything, regardless of if you’re the one who initiated.
basically there are a lot of things you can do right and only a few you can do wrong. this is not an exhaustive list of either because i don’t know you so i can only share from my own experiences <3 flirt with purpose and do so comfortably. figure out what you want to say and how you want to say it. think about what feels most natural to you and go from there. respect the boundaries of other people as well as yourself and you’re sure to do lovely <3
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visualtaehyun · 7 months
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Pronouns, my beloved!
Disclaimer: not a native Thai speaker, still learning 🙏
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นี่คุณจะไม่เลือกผมจริง ๆ ใช่ไหม /nee, khun ja mai leuuak pom jing jing chai mai?/
-> คุณ /khun/ = polite, formal 2nd pers. pronoun -> ผม /pom/ = polite, formal, respectful male 1st pers. pronoun
As Mahasamut is the younger one, he might just keep using ผม /pom/ throughout the entire show, just as Sky did in LITA. What he calls Tongrak is surely gonna change though! คุณ /khun/ feels too distant for P'May characters - even LomNuea in Wedding Plan, who met in a professional context and long kept using คุณ /khun/, ended up switching to the more familiar and informal พี่ /phi/ to refer to Lom.
So my predictions include:
a variation on his name, e.g. Rak, instead of any pronoun (like Prapai calling Sky just Sky, no pronouns), or later down the line maybe just ที่รัก /thee rak/ (= lit. beloved, comparable to darling, honey etc.) as it's sweet and would be a lovely switcheroo from Tongrak ต้องรัก /dtawng rak/ (= have to love)
a more intimate pronoun like เธอ /ter/ (based on YiwaMarine from Wedding Plan foregoing seniority by having younger Rine call her older girlfriend เธอ /ter/ for most of the show)
or simply พี่ /phi/ (as a 2nd pers. pronoun) which- I was just considering how that might not be sweet enough for a P'May top but then the sheer potential of P'Rak พี่รัก /phi rak/ sounding so close to ที่รัก /thee rak/ occurred to me and now I'm gonna need that to happen!!
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ต่อให้ผู้ชายทั้งโลกเหลือแค่นายคนเดียวอะ ฉัน ก็ ไม่ เอา /dtaaw hai phuu chaai thang lohk leuua khaae naai khohn diiao a- chan. gaaw. mai. ao./)
-> นาย /naai/ = informal male 2nd pers. pronoun (it's kind of filed away as the male equivalent to เธอ /ter/ in my head, even though เธอ /ter/ is perfectly usable regardless of gender but might sound too flirty to Tongrak, maybe?) -> ฉัน /chan/ = informal, familiar 1st pers. pronoun, not respectful or polite but also not impolite; used when speaking to someone younger/of lower status or between equals, is used predominantly by women, and in turn by men when talking to women
I love this choice so much! 1) Because both ฉัน /chan/ and นาย /naai/ rarely make an appearance in BL, from male characters, even though they delight me every time I do hear it in a BL (e.g. NuerSyn in Cutie Pie calling each other นาย /naai/ for a good long while), and 2) because ฉัน /chan/ can give both Mafia Boss (as can นาย /naai/) as well as Sassy and no, I shan't elaborate 5555
My prediction is that these too might change. ฉัน /chan/ here feels like- attitude? almost? Like both a level of self-confidence as well as some sass so I'd wager that mellows out into:
พี่ /phi/ (as a 1st pers. pronoun)
or he might just as well keep using ฉัน /chan/ (if paired with เธอ /ter/ for example that's like prime romance trope right there lol)
or, which I think is most likely, he'll just use his own name or variation thereof, e.g. Rak.
I remember seeing Peat tweet something aaaages ago when the announcement for Love Sea first dropped where he called Fort 'Mut' -
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/diiao juuhr gan loei, ai moot/ = See you then, Ai'Mut!
Except this is spelled differently from Mahasamut's name because หมุด /moot/ (= pin/needle) is the phonemic spelling of the last syllable in มหาสมุทร /ma haa sa moot/. So! I think it's entirely possible that Tongrak's gonna call him Mut หมุด or Nong Mut น้องหมุด in the future.
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คุณต้องรักมหาสมุทร /khun dtawng rak mahaa samoot/
= Khun Tongrak Mahasamut = You have to love the ocean. = You have to love me.
The Thai title is ต้องรักมหาสมุทร /dtawng rak mahaa samoot/ = TongrakMahasamut; Gotta Love the Sea; Gotta Love Mahasamut
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shmorp-mcdurgen · 13 days
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PROJECT: FREEMAN AU
Okay so I already made a post explaining this au a while back, but it recently got a rewrite so I'm gonna go over it again, in a bit more detail this time, so bear with me
Project: Freeman is an au that takes place in a timeline where the resonance cascade never happened, and Black Mesa is instead focusing not just on teleportation technology and studying Xen, but also finding ways to utilize Xen pools and the micro-organisms inside that are proven to have healing properties. Thus, they spend a lot of their time and funding on experimentation on both Xen animals and human beings, studying how the Xen organisms will heal damaged tissue.
(full explanation below since this might get a little long)
After multiple failed tests, they get a new mysterious sponsor, one promising full funding if they do one more test to prove the technology is worthwhile, and Black Mesa begins work on a new HEV suit to utilize it, fitted specifically for the use of Gordon Freeman, unaware he's even taking part in a test of any kind.
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After a while, the suit does it's job, healing any and all wounds inflicted on Freeman due to the Xen Micro-Organisms being introduced into the system whenever he is harmed. One test even results in Gordon's death, and he is still resurrected using the suit.
However after that test, the Sponsor was not satisfied, and ordered for a month-long endurance test on the suit, being used non-stop for an extended period of time with various methods of both harm and death used to see how long the suit can keep Freeman alive. After a few days, the suit began to show signs of wear, healing wounds incorrectly and at a rate that seemed more harmful that helpful, all while Gordon is still unaware of what is causing it all.
After that, the suit malfunctioned, causing itself to fuse to Freeman's body, unable to be removed or have its life support systems shut off, leaving Gordon to mutate and deteriorate without a way to get help.
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Despite the fact the test was a clear failure, the Sponsor pressured Black Mesa's Administrator to continue until the full month was over, leaving Gordon a pawn to a continuous and agonizing test, unclear when it will end, all while he begins to suspect the ones "helping him" aren't there to help him at all.
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salt-baby · 1 month
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As someone who is currently working in the healthcare field and looking at attended medical school, can you please elaborate on the ableism and doctors post you made? I’d very much like to avoid inadvertently falling into that category.
Somehow this missed my radar, my bad!
It's a difficult question to answer, although it is the right question to be asking.
You can find my other elaborations here and here, which will likely be helpful.
But to address your specific question, when I think about the ableism of practitioners, in some cases it is just bias, but in many it's just your run of the mill ignorance.
It takes experience to work well with disabled people - both because of the heterogeneity of them, and because the disabled experience is so far removed from the able bodied one.
Some people like myself call themselves disabled as an identity they're proud of, some people call themselves disabled but are uncomfortable with their condition to various degrees, and a lot of people would find it offensive for you to call them disabled because they would call themselves chronically ill or not impaired at all.
In your medical practice, "disabled" is going to be a legal term with a set definition, used to distribute benefits. You'll be taught an impairment model of disability, and your first instinct will likely be to try and fix the problem your patient is experiencing.
In a case like mine, that's not a mindset the patient is going to appreciate, as backwards as it sounds. Yes, I'm in a doctor's office to get treated, but the reality is that expert doctors have already evaluated my conditions and done all they can to help me. There's no quick fix - the fantasy of curing a difficult case is impossible with me, but it doesn't stop some young doctors from trying. My disability isn't one illness, but ten, and often what disables me is the environment around me rather than my actual illness (this is called the social model of disability, and that's where you should start studying).
I'm in a doctor's office to find relief from specific symptoms, or for a new problem (secondary to my existing conditions) that has popped up. Some residents have reviewed my entire medical file, and asked about things that weren't followed up on, and there's only so many times I can say "there's nothing we can do about it". Many premeds, when I mention the medications I'm taking, think that there must be some kind of better medication setup for me. Except there isn't, all of my meds are essential, and at this stage of illness, all medications have nasty side effects. I will never get better and will likely live the rest of my life on immunosuppressants and I'm okay with that, but that's very difficult for able bodied people, esp medical practitioners, to accept.
And in many cases, medical practitioners have put their foot in their mouth by just being ignorant. One person working at a rehab hospital asked if I slept in my orthotics - the answer is no, obviously, orthotics are painful to wear (it's also bad form to ask a disabled person about their disability just because you're curious). Someone told me it'll be okay, they used to wear wrist braces too and they're fine now - in reality, their supervisor just told me to consult surgeons, I was recommended casts, and my wrists remain permanently displaced to this day. I lost most of my ability to write. Our issues were not the same.
On another occasion, a premed picked up my orthotics and moved them away from me without asking - those are expensive (2000$ USD) and irreplaceable, and I need them to walk, I'm vulnerable without them. But to others, they wouldn't be aware that those braces are that valuable. Many disabled people, myself included, view mobility aids as an extension of their own body. For all intents and purposes, my orthotics are my "knees". I often compare it to a phone - it'd be really weird to take someone's phone and move it away from them, or even to touch it unannounced in the first place.
The reality of what a disabled life actually looks like is obscure to the vast majority of able bodied people. Let me be clear, I live a happy and satisfying life, where I enjoy my work and my friends and my family. My existence is not a tragedy, and when it's treated like one, it devalues my hard-won happiness in life and what I have to contribute to the world. But at the same time, every hour of every day is impacted by my disability. I have to change how I cook because I struggle with lifting a pot or standing on my feet for too long, my closet has to be adapted for my orthotics and nerve pain, a number of medications have to be kept basically within ten feet of me at all times, and I have to be very careful anytime I eat something I didn't prepare myself.
You may prescribe a medication which you know can cause nausea, and not realize to your patient, that side effect looks like being sick everyday, skipping meals, wearing a mask so a smell doesn't set you off, and not enjoying eating anymore. You may write a script for the test which is medically the correct option, but your patient may be sensitive to the specifics of the procedure (ie, for religious reasons, it may be difficult to strip down to a gown for some of the more involved imaging procedures). Cystometry and other urological procedures especially. I find this is where doctors sometimes inadvertently do harm. The best option for your patient isn't always the best option medically - it's what fits their priorities and improves their quality of life.
Understand that the current culture in medicine, for doctors, is often very callous and frustrated towards their patients. Recently I heard someone express that their patient needed to just accept their disability already and start being compliant with treatment - they had been disabled for three months. It took me a year to feel even remotely settled with becoming disabled, and my disability isn't nearly as severe as that patient's. Do not follow in your colleagues' footsteps.
If you spend the time trying to understand your patients (which may look like reading disability theory papers, memoirs, watching documentaries, possibly even volunteering, talking to some of your seniors with more experience, etc) then you're already miles better than most of your coworkers. Take the time to consider it from your patients point of view, and even though it's not what's in your textbook, appreciate the value of the information your patient brings to the table (their experience, their concerns, their gut feelings), and you've already done what most disabled people are desperately searching for in a practitioner.
The reality of a minority identity, is that for adults who have become accustomed to something like being disabled, it matters a lot more where your heart is than what you actually say. I don't care if someone is politically correct - I care if they're trying. Even if they're not quite there, that effort will pretty much always be seen and appreciated. I'd far rather someone call me "handicapped" but never view me as lesser, rather than someone who falls over themselves to "accommodate my limitations" and never actually intends to accommodate anything. Be sincere, and you can make mistakes, we'll know what the intention was.
Best of luck, my friend.
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pixiestickie · 1 year
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⚠️CW: EMETOPHOBIA⚠️
*disguises angst by plastering memes on it* *disguises angst by plastering memes on it* *disguises angst by plastering memes on it*
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wutheringmights · 6 months
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can i ask for the hot mess commentary plz?
sure
Before we crack into this, take a moment to read what I said about the neck thing. I write that up a long time ago, but it provides some important context and is a good refresher on the secret history of Spirit's bi awakening.
Also, the director's commentary for this chapter is here, in case you want to review that.
Good? Okay, let's go at it.
So.... they had sex. Yay. Insert jazz hands.
I feel like I actually have way less to talk about here than I did for the neck thing. Granted, a lot of the neck thing is behind the scenes stuff. I guess that's a good place to start.
You may recall the informal hiatus CTB went on after Spirit came back to Warriors's era. I used a lot of that time to actually work out how to end CTB and what character/plot points I would need to hit to have a satisfying conclusion.
During this time, I was listing out things about Spirit and Warriors that I need to return to. Spirit had his codependent histories with the greenhorn and Zelda, or really his strategy for offering himself up as a means of feeling more in control, that needed to be explored. I needed to do some kind of follow-up with Warriors's latent attraction.
The two topics were similar enough to make me want to tackle them at once. But the moment I did, my brain decided that they should hate fuck. (I definitely was also thinking about my old concept of Spirit's unrequited crush-- I still write the characters like that happened, even if it never actually made it into the story.)
Why hate sex? Honestly, it would be kinda funny. Plus, it's a good writing exercise to ask yourself what would happen if your characters in conflict did (not really).
I knew immediately it could only end badly for everyone involved. But I knew I needed Warriors to hit an emotional low point to motivate him to do his Castle Town plan. I knew I wanted Spirit's big speech to come at a time when he and Warriors were emotionally connecting again, and that the response to that speech needed to push him back to Time.
Shit, I thought. This might be what they do.
But, like. I love protecting my peace. I have been skirting around the edges of homo eroticism with Spirit and Warriors as much as I dared. I didn't want to invite angry anons. But then.... did I really care? I understand where people are coming from, but at the same time... this is such a minuscule non-issue. Truly, and with emotion: who even cares?
First off, we already established with the neck thing that whatever fucked up thing these two have going on does not count as shipping. And second, if it does count as shipping, then fine! It's shipping then. This is what the plot is. I've been working on this story for too long to compromise now. I'll reap the consequences, whatever they may be.
I decided to keep it on the books, half believing I would change my mind once the chapter came up.
I was feeling very confident about my choice, up until the day of posting. That was then I got slammed in the face with regret. Luckily, there hasn't been any issues. I may have overestimated as much the general populous care about CTB. If there was ever any confirmation that this story has the world's most niche audience, this is it.
And you all have been great. There's been a lot of encouragement and kind words from you the readers, after you all stopped yelling, of course.
(Though I was prepared to be an obstinate jackass to anyone who tried to complain. I found a loophole and was ready to exploit the hell out of it. I was so ready!)
Funnily enough, everyone's reactions to the past few chapters helped to reassure me the most. There was been a lot of jokes about Warriors and Spirit having the world's worst situationship (lol).
So them having sex turned into an important character and plot moment. Warriors and Spirit got built up and tore down in self-destructive ways. This experience becomes the wake-up call Warriors needed to decide that he was ready to stop being the hero and get his life back.
A lot of people expressed surprise that Warriors and Spirit would go through with it even after talking it out. To be honest, I was a little surprised too! I was half convinced that Warriors had grown enough to stop the self-destructive cycle and turn Spirit down. But when looking at the scenes leading up to them being alone-- from Twilight denounce his friendship with Warriors, Toto turning him away, and Warriors generally in an emotional rut over his intellect and lost beauty--I realized that Warriors was already in the middle of another downward spiral. He would go through with this, if only to feel valued. It was the war all over again.
Also, apparently half of you guessed that Warriors would get cigarette burns from Spirit eventually. I hope you all were happy with the results!
When I posted that snippet from the chapter, apparently all of you knew that a kiss was coming. Ooops. I'm a little glad I surprised all of you with what happened next afterward.
On to funnier things:
I meant for there to be more compare/contrasts between Warriors's nights with Icarius and Spirit. The only one I really managed to do was Link being unable to sleep next to Icarius vs Warriors falling asleep easily.
Because this chapter and the last were supposed to be one, this scene was supposed to come out around Valentine's Day. Could you imagine?
I had the silliest time trying to figure out how to get Warriors and Spirit alone in a room together. I had this grand plan about them needing to get a room in a different inn from the others, whether because they were too tired to walk home after dancing or because they were too drunk to remember the way. Then I realized that Ganondorf could just give the Chain enough money to get more rooms. I realized this way later than I should have.
If you're wondering.... they switched....
I wrote that Warriors thought that sex with Spirit felt like an argument. That is because they are both the bossiest motherfuckers in bed. They both want things done their way or else. It's combative. Unfortunately, they both like the challenge.
I did have an idea for how to end this whole matter in a funny way, both involving someone from the chain finding out.
In my first idea, Time barges into what he thinks is just Warriors's room, in the middle of some kind of rant. Then he sees both of them sitting in bed, pauses, then promptly walks out. Warriors and Spirit quickly get dress before there's a knock on the door. When Warriors opens, Time walks in casually and starts his rant again while pretending none of this had happened. He would wait until Warriors was alone to be like WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!
My other alternate scenario involves Warriors and Spirit getting a room in a different inn. In the morning, Spirit is hurriedly trying to leave when there's a knock on the door. This time, it's a few members of the chain asking if he's seen Warriors anywhere. He says no. All but one walk away. The one who stays (probably Legend) would lean and discreetly tell him that he knew the room was under Warriors's name, so if they were done, could he tell Warriors to get his ass outside? Cue Spirit burning up in embarrassment.
EDIT: I actually had a third silly scenario idea. Similar to the others, Twilight barges in to talk to Warriors about Midna (they're still friends in this scenario; this was an idea from a long time ago). Warriors is still in the bed, but luckily Spirit is in the bathroom. Warriors tries to have a normal conversation without alerting Twilight that something was amiss. And it almost works until Spirit just walks out of the bathroom, waves, and goes to put his clothes on. Cue Twilight's 404 error.
So, yeah! That's the Hot Mess. As always, it's been really fun to see everyone's reactions. Warriors and Spirit are both extremely polarizing, and I love hearing everyone's hot takes.
Does this count as toxic yaoi? Not until I see an AMV to "Numb" by Linkedin Park. Luckily, Warriors and Spirit will never do this again. Probably.
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princesable · 6 months
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hi welcome to my post. my post of charlie game plot summary. because i realized no such post exists. so like. here we are. charlie game has a plot. you wouldnt know this because i keep forgetting to mention it as i have a horrible habit of just assuming people know. for some reason.
so the story starts as all memorable stories do. someone fucking dying. i could not think of any other way to open this. basically sherwin ends up causing a freak accident that ends with twitch's best friend getting killed badly. he then immediately goes into hiding as you do.
twitch kind of assumes he also died because he just vanished without a trace so like. what else would have happened. one day sherwin makes the brilliant decision to leave his house for the first time in like a year or so (i have not decided on how long ok. its long enough) and twitch almost immediately spots him and is like Oh i need to kill him right fucking now. they start chasing after him but due to his abilities (being relatively fast) he gets away. and twitch is like. ok. what the fuck. i need to go tell the 4 (four) people i know that sherwin isnt actually dead so i can get them to help me track his ass down and kill him. so he will actually be dead.
luckily for twitch they exclusively know people who are Fucking Weird and always open to violence because they have nothing better to do or theyre clyde who is convinced hes a super villain. fox is also there but shes mostly ambivalent on this due to not really. knowing any of them. henry and terrence are also there and theyre not really invested either but they think it sounds fun. so theyre down for whatever. important thing to note is that none of them are really taking this as seriously as twitch. everyone else kind of just views this as a "game". subtle reference to the fact this will be a video game.
so twitch is like ok i have. no idea where the fuck he could have gone. so we're all gonna split up and look for him. feel free to do whatever you want as long as you bring sherwin back to me so i can kill him badly. and everyone hears this as "have fun with it be yourself" so instead of setting up traps like normal people they essentially set up. attractions? meant to lure him in so they can mess with him a bit before grabbing him and taking him home. except for fox shes just watching everyone. plotting or something. she says shes plotting.
sherwin on the other hand runs into sam and ellie who are just completely unrelated. they dont know anyone involved. so the only side theyre getting is "weird dude shows up out of nowhere who is clearly running from something and looks absolutely terrified" so they decide to tag along with him so he doesnt immediately fall down a flight of stair or something. also because it means they get to go on a road trip weeeeeeee (they are actively on the run)
and thats the prologue. basically. every chapter/act/whatever you feel like calling them will focus on one of the "attractions" and which ever guy is assigned to them. and how they are really really bad at their jobs. tldr: sherwin fucked up reaaaaaaaaaaaally bad and now everyone wants him dead. it is up to viewer interpretation if this is fair. personally i think its funny.
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^ i think hes funny
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jasontoddproblems · 25 days
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What shall our weekend vibes be…
Be an informed voter:
Pinstripes: Your best friend Jason is not at all jealous of your new boyfriend, the first you’ve ever bothered introducing to him. He’s not. He feels so normal about it.
Longest Night (3): You know the drill here, besties.
Request: A four-in-one situation, Jason getting Alfred’s advice at four different stages of his life
Secret Fourth Option: It’s a secret, bro. I don’t know what to tell ya.
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toxifoxx · 3 months
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🐰🔪 and 🧸?? :3
ooh okay, both of them!! :3c ive already touched on william quite a lot so i'll give evan(cc) a little more focus here ^_^ (but theres a couple about william too! i'd say most of them contain both in some way.) putting most of it under the read more cause i ramble a lot
evan
youngest of the family
naturally a shy kid
the fredbear plushie was made for him (actually sewed) by henry!! which william then modified to have a small camera and a microphone/speaker inside…
i think he always was a bit afraid of animatronics, and michael made it a whole lot worse, but he can tell when his dad or henry are wearing the suits and is chiller around them. i think he just Knows. and this is why he likes fredbear
william wanted him to have his party at the diner because of this. and also in the hopes his son would grow more used to it. like look see isnt this fun :] ? (we all know how that went)
i think a lot of the reason michael was allowed to bully evan for so so long is because of the kind of internalized toxic masculinity william has. so evan just needed to 'toughen up a little' and 'stop being such a crybaby'. and maybe since william was an only child, he thinks its just a normal sibling thing.
he does have night terrors and struggles with sleeping but i dont think it involves the nightmare animatronics specifically (choosing to believe fnaf 4 is michael's guilt-induced nightmares)(also the nightmares ARE nightmares they are not real things. holy fucking shit i hate dittophobia)
i think its fun if elizabeth tries to stand up for him. i think they'd have a decent relationship. they can play tuoys together
basic family dynamics: scared of michael. likes lizzie. loves his dad. clings to his mom whenver his dad isn't around
speaking of his mom i think clara is a lot more willing to stand up for him too and regularly tells michael off
william
likes to read bedtime stories to evan!! and usually comforts him after his night terrors.
bro is for real peeved that his son likes fredbear more than springbonnie
he is like actually trying to be a good father but he's just. not. he's bad at it and ends up paying more attention to work and the animatronics than his kids. so he's kind of emotionally neglectful. he does have his good moments though, on occasion.
percieves himself as a much better parent than he is (of course)
definitely helicopter-parenting. look at all those damn cameras around his house and the TOWN. he needs to know whats up at all times & to keep tabs on his kids even when he's away.
i wouldn't say he's encouraging the bullying but he's not exactly discouraging it either unfortunately
i think i saw this from someone else but. he totally gives his kids merch from the diner as gifts. its just too funny to not have him do it
absolutely devastated at evan's death. sends him spiraling.
he knows it was an accident but he still blames michael because how could he not!! it was all his bullying that led to this!! his baby boy murdered by his own brother!!!
michael gets the cold shoulder from there on out.
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deus-ex-mona · 20 days
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i miss her…
#cant believe i forgot about her till the photobook q&a im so sorry witch mona~~~~~~~#press f for honeypre atelier gachas it was gone too soon™️#(currently e x t r e m e l y worried and stressed for tomorrow like never before b u t i have to appear like im fine sobs save me monachann)#(can i go on a stress-prompted tangent here about something inane? no? toooo bad im gonna go off anyway~~~~)#ok so. like. since witch mona is the image i have up ‘ere and since it’s still 七月… today’s tangent will be on irl spooky stories!!#s o. presenting a decently repressed memory from my childhood that resurfaced while i was hibernating at home:#anyways. well. thoughts about the afterlife can vary from person to person yes? there’s no one true correct belief after all#but the one question that unites us all is probably the one and only ‘are ghosts real?’#and well. for personal reasons i think so. i mean i’ve seen this one dude i hate get possessed a couple of times so welp. cant deny it ig.#wild story about that actually. back in the day my family’s finances were allegedly doing so badly that [dude i hate] had to pick up#a *c e r t a i n* side hustle for extra cash. that side hustle? literal grave digging at the cemetary. at night no less#and *ofc* he wasn’t respectful about it in the least so ofc some spirits followed him home. yay. free roommates.#one(?) of them even took residence in my room at the time and im 80% sure they ate my history textbook :( much sads#anyways well once that guy had too much to drink (which was rather often tbh) he’d get possessed. fun!#the only possession i ever saw was the n-rarity angry ghost who’d just huff and puff in silence with unfocused eyes most of the time#he’d occasionally put on a leather jacket too. but that was like a r-rarity event that didn’t happen that often#my mother had the chance to also witness the mosquito (who tried to barge into my room for fresh blood) and the 姑娘 (self-explanatory)#which is kinda unfair tbh. i wanted to see the ur-rarity ones too :( mostly bc it’d be funny to see a guy i hate act ooc (impure intentions)#oh right. ​how did we get the dude out of his possession? we just shook his arm really hard. prolly caused some lasting effects but who know#i think he could also just sleep off the possession but idk i was asleep for the ur-rarity incidents.#cant ask the one witness of it bc i dont want to bring back unnecessary flashbacks of [guy we hate]#anyways it’s been years since we moved out from that place and i still want my history textbook back. mostly for the principle of it but—#and so that’s the tangent of the day. i feel weirdly less stressed now thanks witch mona#i do wonder how my grandparents are faring on this 七月 though…#b u t !!!!! tomorrow’s date on the lunar calendar says it’s an auspicious day for wishful activity and starting a new job!!! so… maybe~~~~?#hauauauauauauauuauaaaaaa anyways insane tangent over stream mona’s new album ok bye#oops forgor to disable rbs i hate how easy it is to forget to use this function man
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apocalypticdemon · 2 months
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I am so beyond ready to quit this job. Wednesday cannot come fast enough.
#to be fair it's bc school starts again in a few weeks#but idk. every day at this office feels like sandpaper on my skin. people always ask me shit i dont understand#and every case is so individual there's no set checklist to follow to troubleshoot#so most of the time I just grind my gears and get stuck#it'd busy more days than not.#and it was advertised to me as data entry only. client interactions was not what i signed up for.#it's all client interaction.#we're short staffed so nobody gets to take the back office and have a break.#when we weren't short staffed i was the new guy and only got 1 day in the back a week while everyone else got 2.#all my coworkers are conservative but talk like they're apolitical.#i thought it'd be fulfilling bc im helping people get benefits#but many are rude or impatient as any other service job. I'm constantly trying to direct people that don't want to listen#or explain the intricacies of something i barely understand.#and i don't want to lead people astray bc you have to start over if you blow a deadline.#but there's just nothing redeeming that i enjoy.#i hate customer service. i hate constantly asking questions. i like seldom few of my coworkers.#i can't be me at work.#and i don't care about the work itself anymore.#this job made me cry every day for weeks last month from sheer stress and overstimulation.#i almost cried myself sick several times.#the only reason I'm not there anymore is bc i dont fucking care anymore.#it took me 2 months to burn out. 2 months!#i was training for half of that!!#idk. everyone decided i was smart and could pick it up quickly so. even though everyone else got 4-6 weeks of shadowing#you can make do with 3 before you start doing stuff solo.#which feels unfair. i wasn't ready for it. and i resent the decision quite a bit.#plus it's been a nightmare for me in terms of external stressors and my generally deteriorating mental health. so.#all in all. i hate it here.#and i can't wait to turn in my notice so i can gtfo in 2 weeks#i am so tired. free me. let me go back to my music please
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rriavian · 10 months
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According to your universe, which feeling Corinthian feels most towards Dream? Is it Desire or devotion or anything else?
And which feeling Dream feels most towards Corinthian? Is it affection? Or Desire? Or possessiveness or something else?
It is not necessary to mention one answer only. You may write a paragraph on what range of feelings they have for each other
Jessamy, my dearest—you have been incredibly patient thank you so much for this question! I’ve been thinking about this for weeks (it’s been sat in my drafts since before I went on holiday) but spent a while trying to get the wording right. I hope you enjoy my answer <3
I do think it’s love! Just perhaps not a human love.
The Baiting the Trap ‘verse works on the premise that after hundreds of years of sexual tension the Corinthian finally gets the chance to act on it as well as his anger at his creator. He was pretty certain Dream was going to destroy him afterwards so decided to just go for it. He’d been cool and collected for far too long and the lid was not going back on that box now it’s open. Dream is no less interested (he did initiate after all) but though far more unhinged when it comes to love/jealousy his sexual desire is a bit more chill. Idk, maybe it’s because I’m ace but I see him as being like ‘eh, depends on the sex so you better make it good’ when it comes to taking someone to bed.
It’s the devotion in observable/tangible actions that I think reels him in, that I think is the real lure, the single minded focus of another all for him is something Dream doesn’t bother trying to resist. He'll never see it as a weakness either. I think it stems partly from a unmet need to feel entirely accepted, entirely wanted, when so often there are parts of him that others find too extreme.
Too sharp.
So Baiting the Trap is still only just entering the second ‘arc’ which means there’s a lot more to some but…
The antagonism, the extremes, the spectrum of morality and the acceptance/competition of each other’s sharpness…it’s always going to be a large part of their relationship. Though I would add that I think the Corinthian’s greedy possession is a grounding force, which I’ve mostly implied up to this point but there will be some more explicit confirmations coming up in the series. Dream likes how fiercely he’s claimed, how intent his nightmare is on knowing him. Yeah it's the Corinthian figuring out weaknesses too but…it’s looking beneath. Trying to see him as he is.
It’s wanting to.
And it’s wanting to put his fingerprints all over him.
Dream made the Corinthian (which gives us all the wonderful facets of a creator/creation dynamic) but…to him there is something unique about being chosen. About laying the bait and having the Corinthian decide to take it every time. Even if Dream knows that he will, knows that he can offer himself, he isn’t forcing it. As much as that prods at the Corinthian’s desire for agency, stings his pride, it also gives to it. In a way BTT Dream is soothing the original wound of the Corinthian’s betrayal for them both. He rebelled by turning away, by leaving, but this is him deciding to act that frustration out while also no longer denying how much he wants Dream.
So just by being so obsessed with defeating him in such a deeply personal—up close and incredibly intimate—way, the Corinthian is effectively giving Dream all the attention he could ever want.
Promising a constant supply of the devotion I think Dream requires to feel satisfied by a lover.
Though it’s by no means one sided. The Corinthian gets a taste of looking at the bigger picture, at Dream’s responsibility for the larger scale, and that’s compelling to him in this context because understanding it allows him to enjoy what it means for his creator to turn away for even a little while. Disgruntlement over Dream’s commitment to his responsibilities has always been (and always will be) a source of tension in their relationship. But this is also a manifestation of the Corinthian’s canon need to prove he was made right—that I also tend to interpret as his wish to prove he is the most worthy believer, the only one to do it correctly—so now he dares blasphemy so he can worship without distance.
While Dream is enjoying the novelty of being the singular object of another's focus, the Corinthian gets to enjoy moments of having what is essentially a universe stare him down without blinking. And that fulfills his own need for attention, his own desire to feel wanted. It’s like sauntering right up to a god busy answering prayers and grabbing them by the hand.
It’s saying ‘reply later I want you now’.
Of course possessiveness and obsession often appear alongside an additional dynamic of ownership that borders on objectification. But with these two I’ve always seen it differently.
Above I mentioned Dream finding the Corinthian’s possessive nature to be a grounding force, and this is really just a continuation of that point because the Corinthian feels the same way about Dream. I don’t think dehumanisation/objectification really works the way we’re used to conceptualising it with characters that have never been human in the first place. We can’t take humanity away from them but what we can take is personhood. Which I think is something both Dream and the Corinthian value incredibly highly. To be honest, I think that in many ways they both use what we might see as objectification to affirm identity in/to each other, to affirm personhood.
It’s a return of self, not a denial of it, humanity the real box when the Corinthian and Dream have always been Other.
It might sound odd but I see a lot of their relationship through this lens. The Corinthian is a ‘thing’ in the same way as Dream is, an object of the same kind, with a function and a role, but that doesn’t deny a sense of self. They don’t need to be in conflict.
So I suppose in BTT that’s really what it’s about. How their relationship supports a reaffirmation of both of their identities. The Corinthian is Dream’s creation, his nightmare, his masterpiece, but that doesn’t mean he’s just a thing to him. To me the creator/creation dynamic adds identity, adds agency, contributes to the fullness of character rather than taking away from it. Neither of them have to scale themselves down. They don't have to make themselves smaller. So that's another part of what these characters can find in each other, part of the balance I like to write, part of how they ground themselves while also enjoying testing their own extremes.
It’s love and possessiveness and you help me keep my balance. It’s I can be me to the fullest, it’s no part of me is ugly to you. It’s nothing will make me look away. It’s I will fight with you forever and you will let me, you won’t burn out, you can take all that I am.
You want all of what I am and that is love.
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greatlyblessed · 11 months
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Sorry not if you were ever asked this. For 03 what is your opinion on each of the boys?
Hey! I don't think I've been asked this on tumblr so, time to go on a Rant™️
('03 is my favorite turtle show. It's just so goooood but okay specifically about the turtles--)
oh right i got really long I should add in a readmore--
Gonna start with Mikey. Ah Mikey. I think I called him a gremlin troll of a turtle in some tags earlier and I stand by that. This turtle wakes up every day going 'how can I make someone else (mostly Raph) chose violence'. He is good at reading people and he makes that everyone else's problem. Weaponized Incompetence King. I love him so much. He was my favorite on my first watch through but I don't think I have a favorite any more.
But also he's a good boy!! He wants to help people out. I was rewatching the series but I didn't really get past season 1 so I'm just thinking about the first Turtle Titan episode. He got an idea on how they could be COOL but nobody else was down for it, so fine he'll do it on his own--
10/10 turtle. Menace to society. Probably the smartest Mikey in the turtle multiverse.
Raph. Oh sweetie. Boy has so many feelings and struggles with dealing with them. 😭Relatable. He learns and grows over the course of the series and I'm happy for him. Big softie on the inside, prickly cactus on the outside. Feel like a lot of his anger is just other feelings turning into anger because y'know. Emotions Hard.
He has his struggles and his problems but he loves his brothers. I love his dynamics with everyone. Fighting with Mikey, the way he manages to actually be Soft with Donnie. The way he manages to even out into someone that helps Leo keep his balance over just. Challenging him in a way that sets Leo off. (Remembering the fight over the sword Shredder gave Leo early on now--)
10/10 turtle too. Goober. Not as funny as he thinks he is (and that only makes him more endearing.)
Leo. Oh no honey. Sweetheart. Baby boy. This boy goes THROUGH IT. I've seen a meta about his Trauma and how he's a lot more laughing and joking around pre-Window and then we don't see him lightening up again till Fast Forwards/BTTS. And yeah I can see it. This boy thinks DEEP. Maybe a bit too much so. Internalization King. Give him a nice cup of tea, a warm blanket and a hug please.
He's just so weighted down with the task of keeping his brothers alive. Mikey's the one who wanted to be a superhero but Leo's probably the one who actually has the most 'heroic' temperament. Very keen sense of 'bad things are happening and we can do something about it'. But also 'bad things may happen to us if we meddle too much'. (Which, they do. And then they all almost die because of calls Leo made so of course he handles that extremely well.)
10/10 turtle. Daddy's boy got his Autistic Swag. Ninjitsu is his special interest.
Don. Ah, Donny. (Which is apparently how it's spelled in 03.) Kind soul. Sweetheart. Precious. Absolute menace. Do not let his mild manners fool you. This boy is insane. LEAST common sense out of the four of them. Thinks that playing a flight simulator makes him qualified to fly an actual helicopter. (If Raph had hair Don would absolutely be making it go grey.) Mikey is a menace on purpose. Don? Don thinks he's the sensible, rational one. Which just makes him even more terrifying.
He's such a kind, sweet soul. Loves building his vehicles lol. He's got the combo of being fairly even-tempered and also more mild mannered so he's good at not making any Bickers worse among his family. I love how they all dropped everything and went to check on him in that one episode where he was stressed out and yelled at everyone. 😭
10/10 turtle. Let's not forget this boy had his own PTSD arc in the Back to the Sewers season. Of all places.
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lakesbian · 1 year
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Train Guys in Worm: Presuming all the train passengers Could Trigger, and presuming that their crossroads moment either IS or is CLOSE TO their Trigger, what powers do you think they'd get?
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oh damn i guess there is train/worm crossover! win for me (guy who was obsessed w/ train right before i got Into into worm).
obligatory disclaimer: these are all just what i think are The Coolest Options, not firmly set in one universe or the other. just roll with any discrepancies/take them as they are. this is gonna be long, and i'm not in the mood to concept-edit for internal logic.
[cracks knuckles]
tulip: too much of a support system, not at enough of a low, can't trigger
lake: escaped case 53. brute 5, thinker 3 - made entirely of an unknown highly-reflective metal. exceedingly high breaking and melting points. weighs approx. 1,000 pounds. is only about as strong as an athletic 13yo girl, but, like...if that athletic 13yo girl couldn't feel pain or physical exertion and was also capable of throwing 1,000 lbs of body weight around. running on "has enough adrenaline to lift a car off a trapped family member" physical capability 24/7. doesn't need to eat, drink, or breathe. - unconscious minor precog presenting itself as particularly strong mental impulses towards decisionmaking which minimizes the chances of harm coming to her. this functions largely as a defensive combat thinking ability--if she could climb up that nearby pipe to dodge containment foam and then land an elbow slam from it, she's gonna get the idea to do it. very good at "coincidentally" stumble-dodging a power she's never seen in use before by an inch. this adds a solid point or two to her brute rating because of how effectively it enables her to throw her weight around and avoid attacks. she occasionally gets impulses towards what the next steps she could take in a plan to avoid large-scale/impending danger are, but there's not necessarily a guarantee the entire plan will work out--it's just a nudge onto the right path. (think the many times she dodges a sander by an inch in canon + her getting the idea to go to the engine despite having no idea what she'll do when she gets there.)
my sweet sweet SWEET darling boy whom i love jesse: pressures his little brother into doing Something dangerous his shithead friends think will be funny. it goes bad, and nate is sent to the hospital with some serious injuries. panicked, guilty, and terrified that he still doesn't feel prepared to drop the masks he puts up, jesse runs away from home. he runs into his shithead friends, makes a poor attempt to stand up to them & tell them off, and that goes bad as well. when they turn on him, it quickly becomes both devastatingly mentally and physically dangerous. the worst part is that, in the moment, he doesn't wish that he had been better at standing up to them. instead, he wishes that he had just been better at pleasing them, better at finding a way to keep everyone happy with him. trigger.
master, threat rating pending. anyone jesse perceives as needing to like him--whether because they're a physical threat, or simply a threat to his deep insecurities--will begin perceiving him as a friend, with the nature of this perceived friendship adjusting to be indiscernible from how it would appear if it had arisen naturally. this is an ironic reflection of what caused him to trigger in the first place: everyone likes him, but no one likes him for him.
the power is uncontrollable and always on. he is not aware of how it functions, and currently retains his typical desperate people-pleasing behavior.
alan dracula: the PRT thought that the weird deer was jesse's master minion. as it turns out, it's not. in fact, nobody has any fucking idea what it is. there are some theories that it's a really fucked up case 53, but...as anyone in-the-know knows, cauldron has no idea what the fuck that thing is, either. in fact, all signs point to it genuinely being a minutely-smarter-than-average regular deer, but with superpowers. the PRT has given it another name, but jesse and lake loudly insist that his name is alan dracula. alan dracula cares about 1. grass and 2. jesse and lake, in that order. jesse and lake do not at any point explain when or how they met alan dracula. attempts to probe into His Deal are met with a very condescending explanation that he's a deer, and also their friend. this is not because he's using any sort of memory or behavior altering power on them--he's just a deer, he has no reason to do all that.
changer 12 (trump 12, blaster 12, stranger 12, brute 12, mover 12). alan dracula could kill an endbringer. alan dracula isn't going to kill an endbringer, because there's no grass involved. alan dracula only ever releases a fraction of his power, and for this, we should all be grateful.
(i maintain that there's literally no possible way to good-faith translate alan dracula into worm without going this route. if you wormify train characters and you don't make alan dracula a weird fucking deer, you're doing it wrong. alan dracula could beat the shit out of contessa, i don't give a fuck. he's alan dracula.)
grace: her life was going great, right up until she met hazel and started changing. reconsidering things. it hurt when tuba died. she feels like she's desperately spinning plates, trying not to drop any, trying to keep simon happy and hazel safe. it starts taking more lies, more manipulation, just to keep the most basic social interaction going smoothly. she almost thinks she has it, thinks she can make room in her life for hazel without having to give up the apex. but then, without really thinking, she lashes out at hazel to keep simon happy. she didn't realize how horrible it would be until the words had already left her mouth. and then, in the midst of her confusion with herself, hazel leaves. she couldn't live up to any of the roles she was playing. she was trying so hard to be what simon expected, but now she's realizing she can't live up to it--and she doesn't want to live up to it. she dropped all the plates, and there's nothing left for her in the shards. she's watching hazel leave, sobbing, feeling simon stare at the back of her head with raw hatred. trigger.
changer 5 (stranger 3, master 6). ability to alternate between a silver, highly translucent form w/ a face akin to a tragedy mask and a metallic, solidified golden form w/ a face akin to a comedy mask. - in the silver form, people are simply inclined to find her boring, and this is aided by the fact that she's made near entirely see-through. people looking at her feel like they've been watching paint dry for the last hour. trying to remember her long enough to communicate her location feels similarly uninteresting. this feeling of boredom is also mentally parsed as a completely normal reaction, making it difficult to rationally recognize it as a sign to call her out--people experiencing it have a tendency to simply start paying attention to something else, instead. - in the gold form, she's unreasonably interesting. praise from her feels superhumanly good. it's like you're a little kid and she's your favorite person in the whole world, your biggest idol, compelling you to do just a little favor for a pat on the head. she's gorgeous and sweet and you want to do whatever she asks of you. (this is the weakest one, imo, probably because i just made it up on the spot. i Don't Love It and would appreciate alternate suggestions from anyone else familiar w/ her character. it might count as breaker states instead, but i don't think so? who gives a shit. anyway yeah if anyone has an idea for how best to get smth out of the identity struggles + unwanted attention from simon + isolation/betrayal while stirring a bit of cult leader swag into it Let Me Know. my idea does nooot ironically tragically reinforce her issues enough!)
simon: grace was everything he had. they were a team. they were grace and simon. for ten years, it was them versus the train. and then she starts acting weird. normally, they communicate in effortless, unspoken code--but now she's sending off smoke signals he doesn't know how to read. she keeps telling him to hold off on killing the gorilla null for no good reason, and sometimes he swears it feels like she and the new kid are a team versus him. he watches her memory tape to get to the bottom of it, and--yes. she's been lying to him. throwing away everything they built for a null. trigger.
master 6. has the ability to generate a single, extremely strong, and extremely agile brute minion. it looks like an abstracted ballerina with locs and a golden mask. it is, transparently, a replacement for grace. a regracement, if you will. this is the grace in his head, the grace he's placed on a pedestal, the real grace that would scoff at the void that fell from that pedestal when she lied to him. it doesn't speak, because he never really cared to listen. the important part is that, unlike grace, it can never think to leave him.
ryan & min-gi: not sure! i know they'd both realistically trigger separately, but i do like the idea of a cluster trigger for them. they're assigned soulmates at train via the same numbers, i wanna see them assigned kiss cluster dynamic at worm. my main barrier here is that i'm struggling to think of a compelling cluster trigger event + fun music-themed powers. (are two person clusters even a thing? i have not read ward nor will i read ward.) suggestions welcomed.
amelia: amelia is a very smart, talented engineer. she has been since she was a little girl. and she's still spent her entire life getting fucked over by misogyny. her parents and her teachers trying to coerce her into doing things little girls should be doing, her college professors favoring their male students over her, the men in her workplace feeling threatened by her and discriminating in response. the only thing she has going for her is alrick, her fiance. he's impressed by her, treats her as an equal, he sees her in a way no one else does. he stands up for her. he was awed by her work as a child, stood with her in college, works at the same place as her and does his best to make it better for her. she loves him more than anyone. and then he gets into an awful accident and languishes for days in the hospital. she feels like her heart and head are going to explode, watching him lie there. she needs his support. but he dies anyway, and she realizes she doesn't know how to live without her person. she's about ready to go jump off the roof of their old college, and then--trigger.
tinker 10. amelia can build pockets in reality, and she can build entire worlds-in-miniature in those pockets. every pocket world has an entrance to the outside in the form of a red door w/ a golden handle, indestructible and immovable. she can build denizens for those worlds, and those denizens can reproduce. the only guiding rules for her worlds are: - although they're based on elements from reality, they're easier to build the more divorced from reality are, and significantly more difficult to build the more realistic they are. - attempts to intentionally design a car--particularly a realistic one--vs letting her instincts take the lead inevitably result in elements from her unconscious leaking into it. turtles are particularly common, and it bothers her that she can't figure out what object from her subconscious is causing it. - she cannot build people. the more humanoid a denizen appears, the more difficult it is to make.
despite the above, she has furiously dedicated herself to attempting to rebuild a better version of her old life, alrick included. she's stolen a wealth of tinkertech in the hopes that something will help her overcome her limitations. her violent methods of doing so, and her refusal to stop making self-replicating denizens, quickly landed her a kill order. she doesn't care. she has everything to gain and nothing to lose.
the last anyone heard of her, she'd sealed herself in a pocket world and locked the door behind her. all attempts to open the door from the outside have proved fruitless. it remains under perpetual watch. no one wants to find out what she's been making in there, or what she plans to do if, or when, she emerges.
cape name suggestions also welcome for all of these. will be real i am not very good at coming up w/ cape names. compelled by "Your New Best Friend" for jesse--i love clunky, long-ass cape names--and something w/ 'killed god and took his place' connotations for amelia. just straight up "deicide"? who knows.
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