#feck off you weirdoes

[blitheringmcgonagall]

Your post about misogyny in the HP fandom is so true especially because when it comes to Snape and Lily- you can’t make someone else change if they don’t want to. You can try and help someone/show them another perspective(not that anyone has to do that either) but the ultimate decision to change is on the specific person and nobody else. And for people to blame all that on Lily is just…ack

@puppyduckster I completely agree with you and yet… this is a comment I saw today online, which really drove me mad:

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

“OmG sHe Is So DisLoYaL to PoOr SeVvY wHo NEEEEEEDED A REAL FRIEND TO STAND BY HIM WHEN HE WAS TURNING INTO A DICKHEAD”

Eh, I don’t know how to tell you, misogynistic dude, but that’s precisely what she did???!

She literally stood by him, and refused to believe what others were telling her about him because no doubt he was denying it and saying her friends were trying to paint him in a bad light because they didn’t like him - I mean hard agree but whatever - which btw is exactly what James did: he knew one of the order was a spy but NO WAY IN HELL COULD IT POSSIBLY BE ONE OF HIS FRIENDS -

She probably had lots of arguments with him about the war and the nasty bigots he was hanging out with and the weirdo spells he was creating (like hanging people upside down and slashing skin; Snape: I only invented them, I haven’t been using them at all - in which case how come people are using Levicorpus all over the place and it’s very popular- how, exactly???).

And then she sees a rare moment of poor old innocent misunderstood Sev letting his true colours shine through: turning on her because she saw him when he was vulnerable-

GOD FORBID THAT A WOMAN YOU DESIRE (🤢) SEE THIS AND TRY TO RESCUE YOU: BIG MISTAKE! (Shame her immediately, God forbid you let this pass!!)

- and he calls her a horrible slur to her face, and it’s the final straw. She’s known this day was coming and can’t fool herself any longer into believing he’s not turning into a wix fascist, and her reaction is brave af: she finishes their toxic friendship, there and then.

That’s not to say she might not still have cried about the ending of this friendship, the boy he could have grown up to be. But she stuck to her guns and refused to take him back. Thank fuck!

Anyway, as you can see, misogyny alive and well in the HP fandom… 🙄

(Also, in relation to that post: feck off with you - Lily did have friends, Slughorn described her as cheeky and popular! Plus, she’s friends with Sirius in canon, they write to each other separately to Sirius & James and she calls him Padfoot and confides in him about her worries regarding James, and asking for his help! And in the films she and Remus are friends too!)

[hannahssimblr]

Chapter Twenty-Nine (Part 4)

He drives me to the station so that I don’t miss my train since we’re running late, and walks me all the way to the entrance. His eyes flicker over my face as though he needs to memorise every feature. “I’ll see you on Monday morning.” He says.

“Yeah,” I say, “The train’ll have me back for half ten.”

“I can collect you from here if you want me to.”

I shrug, “only if it’s not an inconvenience or anything.”

“No, it definitely wouldn’t be,” He tucks a strand of my hair, still damp from the shower, behind my ear and his chest rises with a sharp breath, “Have a nice time, won’t you?”

“You too.” I turn to walk away but he yanks me back to him again and angles his head to kiss me. Not a light, casual one, but deep, longing, intense, and his arms wind around my back and lock me close to him. “It’s just for the weekend,” I laugh, “I’m coming back in forty eight hours, you’d swear I was off to war.”

“I know,” he brushes his nose against mine, “I’m sorry, I just feel-” He draws back, “It’s fine, I’ll be right here on Monday to pick you up.”

“Alright, weirdo,” I tease, and peck his cheek. “I’ll see you,” I turn into the station and walk away. 

I fear the clouds the whole way from the bakery to the estate. They roll in ominous, black and laden with rain, and somewhere in the distance is a rumble of thunder. 

“Oh God, please, no, not again,” I mutter to myself. These storms don’t seem to let up lately.

A man slopes past with his hands in his pockets, “That for me?” He says. 

I look down at the pink and white cake in my hands. Happy 55th Birthday Marian! Is piped in the centre in purple looping cursive.

I roll my eyes, “Yeah.” 

Then I see our neighbour Jerry. “Looks like rain,” He says to me. 

“It does yeah.”

He peers at the cake, “Mammy’s birthday, is it?”

“‘tis.”

“Fifty-Five, jaysus. Tell her Jerry from next door said she still looks nineteen.”

I snort, “Will do.” and he walks away and I consider telling her that Jerry from next door clearly fancies the arse off her just to kick off a preposterous neighbourhood rumour.

She’s hoovering the sitting room carpet when I get in, and the air is choked with the smell of pine disinfectant. “Jesus,” I wheeze, “doing a bit of a clean are you?”

“Evie,” she looks up and shuts the hoover off, “There you are.”

“Here I am,” I say, and she looks quizzically at the cake. “Your birthday,” I explain, “I went and got you a cake from Meylers Bakery.”

“Oh, feck it, alright,” She says, “c’mere, put it down in the kitchen there sure there’s dust flying around everywhere here. G’wan out there now.”

I go into the kitchen where the whole place is gleaming, and even the laminate countertops seem more reflective than usual. I place it down and carefully peel off the plastic lid, and she shuffles in after me as I’m trying to transfer it onto one of the nice cake stands she displays in the dresser. 

“Ah, you put my age on there!” she protests, “Now Joanne Meyler is going to know how old I am.”

“Does it matter if Joanne Meyler knows that?”

“Fifty five, Jesus Christ,” she takes a sheet of kitchen roll and begins to scoop cake crumbs from the surface onto her hand, “When did I get so bloody old?”

“You’re not old, mammy. The fifties are the new thirties.”

She throws her eyes to heaven, “Yeah, right.”

“Jerry next door said you look nineteen.”

“Jerry next door is bloody soft in the head.”

“Oh alright.”

She looks at the cake again, “I’m depressed.”

I snort with laughter, “You aren’t, for God’s sake, would you shut up. It’s your birthday, c’mere,” I put my arms around her, “Happy birthday mammy.”

“Look at my skin,” she says, tilting her cheek to me, “You see it’s gone like crepe paper.”

“It’s not. You’ve no wrinkles at all,” but she waves me away. “I have a present for you as well,” I say, and root a gift box out of my bag. 

“Ah, what’s this now?” She says as she peers at the branding, “What are you doing shopping in that place? That’s too expensive.”

“Stop it mam, just accept it.”

She takes it from me and pulls out a bottle of perfume. She stares at it for several long seconds, and then says, “Jo Malone?”

“Yeah, Jo Malone.”

“Is that real?”

“Yeah of course.”

“Where did you get the money for that?”

I laugh, “No need to be so suspicious. I work. Or at least I was working. I got a big payment for a mural I did on Temple Bar last month.”

She leans her arm against the counter like she needs to brace herself a bit, “That’s very fancy now altogether.”

“It is, do you remember that time we went shopping together for Christmas and we smelled all of the perfumes at the Jo Malone counter?”

She nods, “I do, yeah.”

“And you liked this one, and I said to myself that one day I’d buy you a bottle.”

Her eyes flick to mine, “And you bought this? You did go asking your fancy boyfriend for a loan of money or something?”

“Feck sake, no! I bought it for you with my own money.”

“It’s too much.”

“It isn’t.”

I swear that her chin trembles a little bit before she decides that she’s not allowed to be emotional, “well thank you,” She says, “That’s lovely now, I’ll wear that out and the other women will be saying I’m gone very posh.”

I reach into the kitchen press and pull out a couple of side plates and then retrieve a cake knife from the drawer. “Are you doing something with the girls later on?”

“Not today,” she says. “During the week we’ll go to a restaurant, I think. There’s a new one after opening in town, some Asian street-something-or-other.”

“Sounds nice,” I cut into the cake and pull out a thin slice for her, because she’s always watching her weight. “And where’s dad?”

“Ach!” She coughs out, “Away.”

“Away?”

“He went out there this morning and he’s not been back since.”

I look at her. “Does he know it’s your birthday?”

“Well he should do.”

“Did he say happy birthday at any point?”

She hesitates, “Well he ought to know, I’d say he’s just off on a small job, or down the pub with the lads.”

I frown, “Mam, did he not get you anything?”

“When you’re married thirty two years these kinds of things don’t make a difference anymore.”

“Well they should. If Jude forgot my birthday I’d be bloody furious. Not even flowers?”

“Ah, what’s the point? Flowers would only wilt,” She pulls a plate of cake towards her and perches at the counter. I hand her a fork, “If you’re going to go mad at every little thing you’d be driven demented. It’s better just to get on with it.”

“Hm,” I take a forkful from the corner of my slice. “I don’t really think that’s the right way of looking at it. You’re worthy of celebration, and you’re worthy of your husband’s time. It’s not too much to expect him to prioritise you.”

She doesn’t know what to say to something like this, so she just says, “yeah,” and then changes the subject. “Your granny was saying you’ve gone very grown up.”

“After seeing me at the Christening?”

“She says you’re the image of me.”

“Well I am the image of you. I feel like there’s nothing at all of dad in me,” I smirk, “Do you ever think she was annoyed about it?”

She lets out a low laugh, “I don’t know about that, would you say? I was glad to hear it because I always thought as much. You’re all made up of Crowley genes, you’ve no Kilbride in you at all.” I can tell she’s pleased about this. She and granny Kilbride have never quite seen eye to eye, with granny always not-so-secretly thinking that she was somehow beneath her son. 

“Do you have any pictures of yourself when you were my age?” I query, “I’ve only ever seen the ones where you’re a bit older, like, the ones where I’m a baby and you’ve got that mad permed hair and shoulder pads.”

“Well, excuse me, ‘twas the style at the time,” She says.

“I’m just curious to see how alike we are, it’s easier to compare when you’re looking at you when you were younger.” 

“Right, hang on there, I’ll get out the photos,” she wipes her hands on her trousers, goes into the other room to search and comes back with a box in her hands with a label that reads 1980 – 1985. She lays it on the counter next to our empty plates and peels the lid open. It’s like uncovering a tomb of secrets, and I’m briefly seized with excitement and anticipation as she pulls out a little pile from one side of it and hands it to me, “have a look through there, see if you can find anything decent.”

“Why haven’t you ever gotten these down for me? I didn’t know you had so many photos from the eighties.”

“Sure what did you think I was doing? Just sitting around at home? I had a life before you were born, missy.” She peers at me, “And before you ask, we had cameras then too, back in the dinosaur ages.”

I start to look through them, and there she is, my mother younger than I’ve ever seen her. I can see it. She’s like me in every way. The gangly frame, the startlingly pale skin, those bright green eyes peering out from under the sheets of straight brown hair that flank her face. She looks deliriously happy in some of the photos, wearing cuffed denim jeans and covered in paint as she drags a thick paintbrush up the wall of someone’s living room. There are a heap of photos from this particular day. It looks like she’s helping a friend to move, and there’s a photo of her grinning with two other girls next to a giant skip piled high with broken furniture.

“That’s Dublin,” I realise. “George’s Street.”

“Back when those big houses only cost thirty thousand pounds, imagine. Now they go for near a million I’d say.”

“Mad, the girl who bought it, is she still there?”

“Gina was her name, and I don’t know, love, I’m not in touch with her anymore.”

This makes me feel a bit sad. Gina looks fun. “How did you know her?”

“All of those girls and I worked for Aer Lingus back in the day, God, the fun we used to have, we used to just go out into the town and get up to all sorts. Those days Dublin was different, but we made the absolute most of it,” she leans back nostalgically, “The stories I have from that time… sure the funniest things used to be happening to us.” 

“I had no idea you were working for Aer Lingus! You never said.”

“Well I didn’t do it for very long,” She swipes a photo off the top of her own pile and passes it to me, and I laugh with delight as I look at it. It’s her and Gina and a third girl dressed in deep green suits and white gloves. Their berets, embroidered with golden harps sit jauntily on their heads, and they smile, proudly, broadly, as they pose on the tarmac in front of an aeroplane. 

“Why did you give it up? God, I’d say air hostessing was so glamorous back then.”

“The early 80s, yes it certainly was. We were so excited to be there, they treated us like royalty and all the other girls were so jealous,” she sighs, “and I gave it up because I got married, and flitting around the world on a plane wasn’t the kind of thing that a wife ought to be doing. I decided to come home to Tullamore and set up a life with your father, and then I suppose the rest is history.”

“And the other women, your friends, where are they now?”

“Well Stella, the blonde girl there, she met a Belgian man and they moved to a place called Liege after a while. She had great French anyway, but he was some handsome fella, we all had our eye on him at one stage. Marc was his name. Gina travelled the world for a long time. I remember around the time that your father and I moved into this house she was still sending me postcards from far flung places, Mongolia, I remember that one. Zambia, Bolivia, and then I suppose we lost touch. When you have children things change and everyone goes their separate ways,” She takes the photo from me and thumbs it affectionately, “But we enjoyed it while it lasted.”

“Do you miss it?”

“Well,” she looks away thoughtfully, “I suppose I do at times, but I was making a sensible choice. I knew I’d marry and have a big family one day, so I thought that I should get going while I had met someone I thought I could have those things with. I was twenty three. That was a normal age to get married back then, although it seems so young these days. Obviously the plan to have a litter of kids didn’t work out as I thought, but we eventually got you, after eleven years of prayers,” She reaches out and tugs on my cheek, “I suppose if I’d my time back I might have done things a bit differently or waited a bit longer, before settling back in Tullamore, but I don’t regret you.”

She regrets my father though. I frown, “You know, that makes me pretty sad.”

“Ah, no, it isn’t sad, it’s just life. We didn’t have it back then in the same way that girls your age do now. This was a different country, there were more rules upon us, more things to be frightened of. Sure you can do whatever you want, can’t you? Look at you, working away and being an artist for real money. I think that’s something to be very proud of. I could never have done something like that because it just wasn’t the done thing, especially for a girl from a working class background. I would have been laughed out of town for trying something a bit different. You could be a nurse or a teacher or a secretary, and that was it. Otherwise you’d be at home with the children.”

“Yeah.”

“But you’ve gone and become a real artist now, and look at you, buying Jo Malone perfumes on money from commissions,” She shakes her head disbelievingly, “Who would have thought that was possible? I was telling the girls about all the cards and things you were doing up there in that art shop you worked for-”

Beginning // Prev // Next

[wormworker]

I know being alt is going to come with being treated like fecking shite by the general public no matter what, no matter how much we mind our own business; I've known that since I was a little 9-year-old weirdo with my mom begging me not to wear that greasy-ass Fantasy Maker black lipstick to school lol

But the staring, the being laughed at, the having photos taken of me when I didn't consent to them, the being treated genuinely badly just for the way I look -- it still gets to me sometimes. OH, does it get to me.

I'm still that punk bitch ducking away and sobbing off her eyeliner (and her eyebrows) in the alleyway sometimes, so if you feel the same now and then and the bastards are getting you down, I'll pull up a chair for you in Cry Alley.

[mushiemellows]

2, 15, 17 for the writer ask game!! love your work <3

2.       Is there a least favorite character or title you dislike writing for?

I have some semi-extensive Jinbei writing on the horizon that I’m not feeling totally confident in. I also am writing some Sanj atm, and I’ve never totally felt confident in how I write him (tho I’ve been practicing and I subjectively think I’m improving?) I also sort of abandoned the Frankenstein fic, I might get back to it one day but it’s ultimately sad and thinking about it makes me feel even sadder to work on. We’ll see how it all pans out, I’d like to return to it one day because I still know where I want the story to go, I just don’t know if I’m in the place to write it yet. But I appreciate what it meant when I wrote it back over new years/xmas. Lots of things. I tend to get really harsh on myself, even tho it’s kind of silly. This is all just playing dolls. I don’t need to be so upset with the things I make, idk. And yet, I do.

15.   What made you start to write fanfiction/stories?

Hm. This is complicated to answer, I guess. Like I guess I’ve been thinking about fic since I was an 8year old kid realizing I could build off of stories in my brain before I went to bed. I used to feel a lot of shame about my desire to write those stories down, though. I was made fun of a lot when I was young for it. When I was in my early 20s I was in a fandom that was hot at the time where I wrote some pretty successful one shots (relatively, idk if they have longevity tho) but I didn’t sit down and start fully typing out words like I have become known for until ~6 months ago. I put out a crap fic I’ve since deleted because I was so ashamed of how bad it was, but it lead to me writing SRH so i can’t be totally mad at it either. And one day, I’ll look back on writing 315k of anime smut as a stepping stone to the next thing after it. It’s just a matter of time and perspective, I know that. I owe a lot to the terrible stories I made up in my brain when I was eight. I owe a lot to the terrible stories I made up in ao3 20 years after that. One day, I’ll look back on this phase too, hopefully. Stories pop into my brain in a way that is easier than words in real life. I like crafting narratives, I’ve fallen in love with the process these last few months. It’s always felt natural to me, and I’m so happy to finally pursue it. It’s freeing.

17.   If there’s one thing you could tell your readers, what would it be?

So I answered this one already, but I’m going to add to it. Oh my god, get weird. We’re in such a fecking different era of art creation, you need to make something weird and off putting to the masses. Find your niche, have confidence with the weird shit you’re into. Every time I get down about like, AI and bullshit like that, I think about the history of the camera and its relationship to painting. When science realized it could capture real life with more “technical precision” with the camera, portraiture and painting didn’t end. It adapted, we got Impressionism, expressionism, surrealism. Poison the content machine with unusable trash. Make something so weird that a computer couldn’t even dream of creating. Get wild, get funky, get freaky, fuck it get a little kinky. You’re never going to appease everyone. Maximum palatability isn’t the point. Be a fucking weirdo on main. Soak it up. Lean in twice as hard. Double down. Freak people out. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Tysm for all of the love 💜💜💜💜

[stuairi675]

Entry 4: 22/10/24 - Subject Matter is an Unknown Quantity

Ah, hello, fancy seeing you here today. Probably gonna be a short one since this entry will be the result of a desire to log a journal update without any particularly clear idea what it will be about. Oh well, let’s live dangerously.

I just came off my touch-typing course.

Correction: I just came off one smegging task/mission/worksheet of my touch-typing course after having spent, no joke, three smegging days trying to five star it. I thought I was getting pretty wizzo at the thing, but then the plying smeggers (throwing in some sci-fi swears for the fun of it btw) that devised the thing threw in all these random symbols and bits of punctuation I don’t think I’ve ever used before in my life.

“Great job at getting a measly three stars” it mocks; “Aim for 45 wpm” it cries; “You failure” calls the mocking little voice in the back, front, centre and little cubby hole of my brain. 

I’m trying, Mother!

Look I’m not gonna pretend to be a touch-typing prodigy, but I was batting that on average (more  or less) before you started chucking in all that % and ^ mumbo jumbo, most of which you can only input with the application of the smegging shift key. I mean, way to break my flow. There’s one assignment that’s basically all numbers and weirdo characters that I’ve just relented I’ll only ever have three stars on.

I know the entire point is to put things in efficiently, but how commonly exactly do they expect the ^ key to be? I’ve done God knows how many essays over the years, written dozens of short stories, several longform stories (not to brag; none but three of them turned into something of any significance – point is I’ve written heaps) and I’ve never once had the need to use ^ before being taught how to use it. I don’t even know what ^ is called - it’s just the arrow above six (God help me if I’m ever forced to read this out loud). The beautiful irony is that by having complained about ^ here, I’ll have effectively used it more times in one short period than I expect I’ll ever have to in the rest of my life. 

And the numbers, oy gevalt, do the numbers ever get on my tits. They’re bloody far away for a start, and for a follow up, relative to the wholesome home row, they’ve all been shunted to the plying left, so every time my fingers detach and go space walking in search of number 7, I have to keep this in mind and estimate where in the fecking of all reality they might be lest I press 8 instead, or, worse, two numbers, which can be really bad if you’re filling out a form of some description:

“Ah, Mr Bolton, I see we’ve got you down for 87 colonoscopies today. Someone Is certainly an eager beaver!” Doctor reaches over and buzzes in an assistant. “Candace, kindly cancel my 3 O’clock; we have a pervert in room 2.”

I understand the hypothetical above works under (ha, above and under; love it when shit like that happens) the flawed logic that that the way in which somebody gets a colonoscopy is by inputting how many they would like on some kind of online form, and ignore how the implication is that I wanted 8 colonoscopies in the first place, but still it gets across my worry.

I just, just don’t think the picking and pressing way of typing is all that inefficient when it comes to all these freak characters they’re expecting me to be rattling off in quick succession. I mean, for the love of God, I can just write seven, and who even uses %? Just write percent like a normal person.

And what doesn’t help is that the course was made by Americans, and I - if it hasn’t already been made clear by my choice in vernacular and barely lidded rage over mundane shit - am British, hence I have to forgo their instructions vis-a-vis where shit is on the keyboard on account that it couldn’t be more flaming wrong. What plying use do I have for the $ anyway? And even if I did, at the end of the day, if I did have to talk about American money, as established before I wouldn’t use the smegging $ symbol, I’d write the fucking word: dollar.

Clear!?

Ah, why bother. In a couple years, I’ll probably be better off learning how to write yuan.

Ruairi

P.S:

(I do want to emphasise that my Mother is in fact a lovely woman… on occasion).

[mysynthfetish]

Failure... Success...

After I got the DR-220E, I saw this DR-220A on the auction for ¥2,000 being sold as 'junk' and thought what the hell, why not? I cleaned the leaked battery juice off the E, probably just another case of the same but more of it. Boy was I wrong...

I immediately knew I was in for a bad trip when I opened the battery compartment and was met with that. I plugged in a wall wart and turned it on but no luck, it was dead as fuck. So I opened it up to see how far the corrosion had gone.

There's the reverse side of the battery terminals in the second picture. If you look at the resistors on the left side, you can see corrosion. How far HAD the corrosion crept?

All the way through the traces on the PCB to the main IC. And see those down arrows? The corrosion had all but eaten the screws that used to be there. Holy fuck! It was the worst case of battery corrosion gone buck wild that I have ever seen. And the smell? Oof. I still haven't thrown it in the trash. Some silly part of me is like but but but maybe something can be salvaged? NOPE. The freakin traces on the PCB were BLACK. The corrosion had grown up out of the solder spots like a fungus or slime mold. Gnarly shit man!

I dunno if I posted this previously. I wanted one of these for ages. Saw one on Mercari (flea market app) for a reasonable price so I bought it. Fun synth. I saw someone on schmootube referred to it as the iSynth. Heh. Not quite up to the Apple design aesthetic methinks.

Got a few Aira Compact machines, a pair of S-1s and a T-8. Stuck knob caps from Thonk on 'em and they look and feel nicer now. S-1 is basically a 2020's MC-202 on steroids. T-8 is fun for what it is. The size and fun factor are big scorers here. They sound great as well.

Picked this up off the auction just to play some short C-64 voice synthesizer samples live in a gig I got coming up. Not sure how I feel about this thing. It'll do what I need it to so that's all I can ask I guess.

The Drum Mint!!! What a wee weirdo! Fun little shit. I can't believe people are baking shit like this up in their free time. Maniacs! Sounds ghetto as hell. Right up my alley.

Last but not least, the Elmyra 2. Bought the DIY kit off Thonk. Took about two and a half hours to solder together. Endless jacks and pots. Mind-numbing. Did it at work, since the school year is over and I have no more paid time off and there's feck all to do anyway. Very interesting machine. Definitely from some dark corner of outer space. Fun stuff.

[fangtastic-vampyra]

SRA DREAM/RANT/The Cursed Monthly Gift/Contagion

Being miserable. From. My family. Like I keep dreaming I am walking around naked lol. Maybe cause the blankets are heavy? Irl? Or just feeling way too open and such, online, yet some say vulnerable is strong. But anyway, once I found some clothes um, I was asking if my cous could be my roommate, and they say we get "another patient" as a roommate, it was like a sort of um, HUD thing? Well. I went off. Said I am leaving there, and everything, and going to take over my mom's house. WHICH was like a pt3 from a dream of a Hurricane happening in LA again, and I kept asking people to secure my stuff, I really am not rich enough to buy the 3RD round of clothing and tech and everything. (I also dreamed I was THE JOKER in a movie, starring me.. and had like two boyfriends and two girlfriends lol)

Um, cont with this recent one from a few hours ago... Telling them (my family) abt me with the suicidal ideation within it, dr knows, its just a side effect of being trans, and not as tall as i think i "really am". Like. Begging them to bring me back across the lake and stuff. As we would say. Ugh. {Thirty minute drive.}

Before I passed out, a voice told me, that I was pretty much (my balcony oversees the lot, obv, but like REALLY, does, our location) abandoned here, she/mum doesn't care if i have food/money/etc, and with the schizophrenia (being like jimunji) as it's, V2K DEW EMF SPRITE AI and Handlers, Im often spinning/out of it/dazed feeling... Like they know you have mental probs but expect you to "act" like you don't? How could you even comprehend that?

So I found some guy that cared, he looked me up all over internet from a FB dating profile. Guise, be careful what you put out there. Me? I figure I'm just..dying from Covid anyway..and The Contagion...

Feel grouchy, breasts are feeling uh tenderness or wahtever, prob starting period, but I really dont think thats what it is "spotting".

...my fucking dumb ass. had sex with this guy but like WHY does woman have to be the one "put a condom on please" like Im not doing okay... adjusting to this whole "society as a targeted individual with people who come to the house with rx psychiatric meds"--Pushin going to a DR with me. it could be side effects of T/Estrogen.

This guy is like a handler and that. Dont you know in 9 months. Dont you know child support and that. Idk I was looking at TV and it said abort. Idk probably lil antichrist in there.

I dont even want to be here, alright?

But as far as no one ever loving me, as some mistake of God, a baby would love me. Forever.

Fucking dudes. Weirdos.

Im weird. No. I realize. I am perfectly naturally fucked up from this HORSE SHIT. I have to now take responsibility as some kind of uh. Fuck up. Fubar. I dunno. We shall see. Stupid woman body. Cant even really stop itself from being pregnant. Its just..the dumbest shit. Yeah pills? I pass out. Surgery? Demons. Lots of them. Uhhhhh idk. Kinda hung up on a kid loving me. FECKING LIL RETARDED ASS CHICKENS KNOW HOW TO GET RID OF UNWANTED PREGGERS. (They can get rid of the sperm ugh) HUMANS? NO. This is so fucked up. And politicians and all like want us to have babies in our tummies. Where are they when this baby is hungry and sick? Stealing my Fucking money, calling me an undesirable, and whathaveyou. Prolly, you know, tilling him/her to the grave,

[nyf-archive]

Everyone was taller than Colette. Everyone was scarier than the little half-elf. The girl was smart enough to know that she may be quick, and larger targets fall harder, but there was something about this creature in front of her that screamed 'apex-predator'. So, she was still, arms crossed over her chest as she raised a brow to his laughing.

"A kill is a kill, dear one. My aim is not perfection and the beauty of killing is not what I do. So, sorry to disappoint oh carnage connoisseur." A slight bite to her words, but really, it was more of showing teeth. Her bark was just as bad as her bite; this was only a warning growl.

There is curiosity to her opalescent eyes now, looking him over as if to see if he truly jesting with her now. "I'm going to assume that you at least know you're a giant fuck off horned creature with the eyes like a ghoul's. Unfortunate that you don't know your past, though." Colette sighs in exaggeration as he blocks her way, his stance almost as wide as she was tall. Great. "Oh, I know plenty. But information is not so freely shared. But, seeing as though you could probably wrap your entire hand around my head and squish it like a grape, I will divulge what I know."

Her hand spun around in a circle in annoyance, the key she pilfered spinning on the ring she held along her finger. "Lets see. We were on the squid ship. It crash landed because I'm assuming you, since you were the only one freely running about that I saw, caused such a landing. Terrible driver. Never drive a stagecoach." The half elf blew a raspberry upon her lips as she thought about it.

"We have little wrigglers in our brains that are waiting at any moment to turn us into brain-devouring squid-faced-feck-shites. There's no cure except death....and there's a cult of weirdos with tadpoles like us up in the fallen outpost." She stopped swinging the key, the teeth side pointing out and towards the lumbering giant as she uses it to check boxes as if she were marking off a list.

"Oh. And there are red dragons flying around our heads. And...a nest of harpies near the bay." The girl had been busy scouting the area. There was no clear way of getting through without getting into terrible trouble. She had seen that purple mage skulking about and was going to ask him for help, when she got the lead on her way into the old Selunite temple. "Is that satisfactory for you?" Colette was thinking of eight other ways to get out of here if his answer was 'no'.

Out the window, scale down the mountains, disappear into the woods. One way or another, if this turned into hostility, the rogue would do her best to survive.

Something only the most perceptive may note is that something feels off about this tiefling. Little details so easily otherwise missed. Fanged teeth more monstrous than most infernal descendants. Bone white eyes that don't blink as often as they should and stare with the intensity of a predator eyeing it's latest bit of prey. Things like that. All meaningless really and could be explained away but when combined can create a sort of uncanny valley. At least to those familiar to Urge's pretend species. Lucky for them both that Urge doesn't realize his own condition and being. Least the demigod get offended at her cheek.

The amnesiac just huffs a laugh, deep and rumbling. She's one of the few not to cower at the mere sight of him. A giant barbarian didn't exactly inspire much confidence especially not with current tensions.

Wild eyes fixated on the woman. Noting how every bit of her moved, fantasizing how she'd appear split in two. Horizontal or vertical?

"Your kill was sloppy." Said half jokingly. He might not even remember his own true name but he knows enough about killing. That came naturally. "If it took my entrance to earn your victory, that's pretty fuckin messy. Considering it's just a drow and it's daylight. Bitch probably already scotched it's eyes and was blind."

Remaining in the doorway, effectively blocking that exit. "If it helps I don't know who I am either." Finger tapped against the scarred side of his head in a 'tap tap tap', "Missing parts of my head and the rest has got itself a little passenger. And see I need any edge I can get in evicting this thing, you look like a woman who knows what's going on and could help a fella out. Why the rush? Let's talk! You're not scared of a couple of goblins and their master are you?"

"Indulge me or try to pass me, your choice Goldie~"

[alex-the-bringer-of-chaos]

It's funny how Macdonald shippers want a sex scene between Mike and El on s5, meanwhile we have Finn over here telling people to stop sexualizing him. Funny am I right?

[blitheringmcgonagall]

“The weirdo is following you, Lily,” Mary hisses under her breath, sounding mildly disgusted.

“Again?”

“Yup.”

“Ah, for feck’s sake!” Lily muttered to herself.

She was not going to give him the satisfaction of turning around. Ever since that day beside the Great Lake when Sev had called her a mudblood, she had refused to accept his apology. Because he wasn’t actually sorry. He never had been. He called other students mudbloods. He cursed other students, used dark magic on them, like his friends did; like his friends had done to Mary. He just didn’t want to lose her as a friend. Or whatever the hell he thought they were. She was, apparently, “different”. Fuck that. And fuck Sev. She should have ended their friendship years ago. She had been wilfully stupid. Blinded by loyalty and misplaced honour.

“Just ignore him and get on the bleeding train, Macers,” Lily lugged her suitcase over onto the train with a grunt.

“Need a hand there, Evans?”

A low, posh, sexy (what??!) voice behind her. She whipped around and found herself face to face with none other than James Fecking Potter. With his annoyingly attractive hazel eyes, and cute bed head hair, and radiant, warm smile, and irritatingly toned chest, and arms, and abs, and-

“No, I don’t need any help whatsoever,” she said stiffly.

“No, right, of course not,” he smiled at her, pushing his glasses up her nose and ruffling his hair.

She really liked his hair, actually. And she hadn’t meant to be rude either.

“It’s fine,” she said, scuffing her shoe against the pavement and avoiding eye contact.

She watched Potter share a look with his best friend, Sirius Black, both lifting their eyebrows. She rolled her eyes.

“Get on the train, it’s leaving soon,” she scowled.

“I thought you two were best pals now,” she heard Sirius say.

“We are,” Potter’s reply.

“Not actual best mates though, right?” the affronted, concerned tone unmistakeable.

“Never, pals are different to mates, old chap,” Potter was now looking between them nervously.

“Oh, really? How?” she said, raising her chin and attempting to look obnoxious.

Sirius glared at her, she glared back. They were both alarmingly stubborn, neither wanting to be the one to look away first.

“Eh, well…” Potter bit his lip, looking flustered.

“Best pals is a synonym for someone you’re friends with but you’d rather be shagging,” Peter said casually. “Hold this, will you?”

A dumb-struck James Potter took the schoolbag mechanically as his friend calmly took off his jacket.

“Too hot,” Peter added, looking at James’ red face. “Looks like you’re boiling too, Prongs.”

Keep reading on ao3…

[mrvdocks]

Just Ask IV

“I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing at, but you stay away from her,” Billy warns.

Fiona cocks her head. “Oh Billy, as soon as I saw you with her, I knew what you were doing. “RUN”? I can’t wait to read how this all ends.”

Billy’s head drops. “This is different. I lik- I love her. I want to be with her.” 

Fiona pouts. “She’s just a phase. This is a huge deal for her, you know? She’s a lovesick puppy but once you get her out of your system, she’ll be fucked.”

You didn’t realize you were still sleeping when you felt the sun beat down on your face, warming you and highlighting both yours and Billy’s bodies. Your eyes fluttered open, suddenly aware of your surroundings. You shot Billy a side glance, stretching and yawning. He was still asleep, looking peaceful as ever. You smiled to yourself, your fingers dance upon his delicate skin, ginger stubble shining in the sunlight. It’d been 17 years since you’d been able to be in this same position and you missed it dearly. You missed having the butterflies in the pit of your stomach go crazy when he would look at you with those beautiful eyes of his. To feel his skin against yours, the intimacy you two shared when it wasn’t sexual was to die for. Eventually, your fingers traced figures into his skin until you landed on his wrist. Out of curiosity, you’d lifted his watch to see the time. 10:28 AM. 

“Fuck!” You yelled, waking him up instantly.

Half asleep and groggy, he raced against the clock to gather his things and tried to walk behind you, trying to meet your panicked and frantic state. You threw your things into the first cab that would take you two and pulled him in as soon as you were done. 

He laid on your shoulder as best he could, eyes still droopy. “Last night….was -” 

“Great.” Your cheeks flared. Did you really have to have this conversation in front of somebody else? You felt like you were having the sex talk with your mom.  

“Yeah, great.” He said, quickly sitting up. “I mean I - I can do better.” 

Your brows raised. “Oh?”

“I mean you kind of caught me off guard there.” 

You scrunch your face, amused. “I mean I’d like to think I gave you plenty of chances to do something else.” You nudge his arm. 

“No I mean, I just don’t remember it being….”

You felt the blood come rushing to your cheeks again. “Yeah, I picked up a few things. You know, after we broke up.” 

His sleepy eyes widened suddenly, “That explains a lot.” 

“What?” 

“Oh god, not like that. I - um - fecking hell.” He stammered. It was kind of funny to you to see him squirm like this. You hadn’t gotten him this nervous since he’d seen you. 

“Can we hurry this up?” He said to the driver. You chuckled to yourself. 

You took in the last sight of the city before thinking back to what was waiting for you at home. 

"You okay?” Billy’s voice brought you out of your trance. You narrowed your eyes onto the fields of green outside your roomette window. How nice it must feel, to be so free and without worries. You don’t remember what that’s like.

You hum in response. “Peachy.”

You feel your phone buzz from your back pocket and tense up. Billy’s face follows yours, eyes searching your face for any sign of worry. “You gonna get that?” He asks.

You shake your head. You don’t tell him you’re afraid of what it might say. Or who’s behind the text. You bite your lip, feeling the unshakeable fear of the unknown eat at you. The phone buzzes again and this time you jolt up. He scampers for his phone, “It’s mine. Sorry.” 

You sigh in some relief and focus on the outside again. “Everything okay?” It’s your turn to be concerned. You make a move to turn to see what he’s doing but he stops you first, pinning you down onto the cramped roomette bed and kissing you deeply. When you both come up for air he’s the first to speak. “I’m a complete dick, right?” 

“Well,” you say as a matter of factly. 

He sighs. “I know. I’m sorry.” 

“You can say sorry again in other ways.” You smile. He chuckles to himself. 

He lifts one of your legs up onto his torso, diving back in for another kiss. Your hand comes up to grab tufts of hair, the other caressing his face. Your pelvis pushes up against the front of his jeans, feeling him becoming hard almost immediately. You bite at his lower lip, earning a groan from him. His tongue darted to yours then your lips, you reveled in the thought of him working his tongue on you. If he said he could do better, maybe he should.

Frustrated, you guide his hand down and into your jeans, your breathing becoming heavier when his fingers ghost over your very sensitive area. He breaks the kiss to look at you, almost hungrily. He makes his way down, kissing down your body until he reaches your abdomen. Before he can pry the buttons off, the phone buzzes again. You mentally curse at yourself for not turning your phone off, but he reveals it’s his. 

“Who’s even texting you at this time?” Your breathless voice hints annoyed and now you sit up on the bed watching him. He looks at the phone and then you. 

You shrug and turn away. “Maybe whoever’s texting you can give you a good handy or something.” 

He tsks. You ignore it and leave the roomette, letting him have time with whoever he apparently deemed worthier of his time. 

“Are you following me?” A voice came from behind you, and it doesn’t even register that you’re walking about the aisles of the train. 

“Alice?” You don’t mean to sound so surprised but it comes out so shrill. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh just, going to meet someone I met on eHarmony.”

“Oh…oh.” You wince. She laughs dismissing the thought. 

“Hey, while you’re here, you wanna get a cup of coffee or something? My treat.” 

You nod.

After getting the worst cups of coffee in the world, you two sit and contemplate.

“Can I be very honest with you?” She asks.

You nod. “I think this whole thing you’re doing, is amazing. You chose yourself over everyone else! It’s not always you get to be a little selfish and put your needs first.”

You scowl. “If I did the right thing, then why do I feel so bad?”

“Don’t let people make you think that. Don’t let it rule your head.” 

You nod.

“Do you have any plans after the train?” 

You fiddle with your earring in thought. “I don’t know yet. Anything outside of Billy just seems empty. It’s so weird, I have no idea what he’s thinking.”

Pause.

“You think he’s a good man?” She asks, carefully studying you.

You shrug and look away, now fiddling with the frayed ends of your sweater. “I think he tries to be. Isn’t that the point? Everyone’s just trying to make do with what they’ve got?” 

She smiles understandingly, “So what’s the old ball and chain up to now?” 

You chuckle to yourself. “It’s so weird, he has this like a huge bag of money. I’m not sure if maybe that’s what we’re using to get around.”

“What?” Alice asked almost in disbelief. 

“Yeah! Weird, right?”

“What is he, a drug dealer?”

You snort. “I don’t know, a guy like him? He probably needs it to get away from his fans or something.”

Alice narrows her eyes at this. “Stalker maybe? What a weirdo.” 

You laugh in unison, feeling an awkward pause come in. “I should probably go find him. See what he’s up to.”

Alice nods, and bids you farewell. 

Meanwhile, Billy was about to just have a fecking heart attack. Every buzz from his phone only added more to his anxiety and he didn’t like feeling like that around you. His neuroticism would say otherwise. 

Fiona’s last text had sent him into a spiral and now he felt like he was about to shit himself. If she was here, she couldn’t get to you. No way in fecking hell. 

You weren’t sure if seeing the red missed calls were supposed to make you feel shittier about your situation, but they sure weren’t helping your case. Sighing and closing your eyes, you pressed the red letters and abandoned all hope. When you were met with dial tones, you huffed and walked back to the aisles, seeing Billy already there. 

“Hey.” He said, trying to push the bag over to where you were going to sit. 

“Hey.” You said, not sure how to feel towards him right now.

“You feeling better?” He asked, stuffing the bag into your side as you sat down. 

You cock your head to the side. “What are you doing with all this money?” 

His brows raised in confusion. “It’s just for safekeeping.” 

“From Jackie and the hoard?”

“Something like that.”

“Alice said something about that, maybe you have stalkers.” 

Oh, you had no idea. 

“Who’s Alice?” 

“My friend from Chicago.”

“Look at you! Making friends.” 

You roll your eyes. “Okay, she helped me steal some of the things for that night but point is, she’s here! On the train!”

While you were completely oblivious, he was shitting bricks. 

“What does she look like?”

“Short, really pretty, dark hair.”

He nods, smile fading.

“What? Oh, shit do you think maybe she’s your stalker?”

He stands, hands reaching for the duffel when you hear Alice’s voice greet you both.

“So you’re the infamous Billy Johnson. Heard a lot about you.” Fiona’s eyes burn holes into Billy, and you’re just around the bend. You do notice the shake in his voice as he looks up at her and tries to greet her without fault in his demeanor. 

“Is this weird? I didn’t mean to make it awkward.” She laughs, but Billy knows a fake semi detrimental laugh when he hears it.

“No!” You protest.

“She’s just worried you’re a stalker or something of mine.”

“Billy.” You throw a look at him. 

“Oh no! We just keep bumping into each other, what a coincidence, right?” 

Billy glares at Fiona, but you don’t notice yet.

“What are you doing on this train, Alice?”

“Just headed to California.”

“Yeah, she’s meeting a lumberjack.” You finish for her.

Fiona’s eyes bounce from you to him. “He’s taking me to Disneyland. You ever been? It’s lovely, you should take your so-some friends or family someday.” 

Fiona saves herself from possibly revealing your son, oblivious that he knows.  

You chuckle nervously, side glancing Billy. “Or you two should go together! Can’t imagine this one would want to wait in lines, must have lots of people come up to him.” 

Your phone buzzes, you take a peek being met with a photo of your son. In the hospital. 

What the fuck.

Your eyes meet Billy’s, tears brimming in your eyes. “I’m sorry, I have to take this.” 

His hand grabs onto yours for a second, he squeezes it in reassurance before letting you go.

You rush into your roomette, whispering curses under your breath. The line ringing only makes you wanna vomit. 

“Hello?” Your mother’s voice springs you to life.

“What happened?” 

“Look who wants to know, Parent of the Year.”

“Mom,” your voice is shaky. “Please.”

She sighs. “He just had a little fever. He was up all night, and he couldn’t breathe but I just got out of the ER and they’re saying he should be fine. They want to keep him for observation.” 

You run a hand through your hair, sighing in relief.

“Listen, he needs you. He needs his mother, not his grandmother. He’s right on the cusp of that age where he’s going to be attached at the hip of whoever’s giving him attention.”

“I know.” You hang your head in shame, wiping away at the tears. 

“I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing at, but you stay away from her,” Billy warns.

Fiona cocks her head. “Oh Billy, as soon as I saw you with her, I knew what you were doing. “RUN”? I can’t wait to read how this all ends.”

Billy’s head drops. “This is different. I lik- I love her. I want to be with her.” 

Fiona pouts. “She’s just a phase. This is a huge deal for her, you know? She’s a lovesick puppy but once you get her out of your system, she’ll be fucked.”

Billy shakes his head vigorously. “I won’t. That’s not happening.”

“Does she know?”

“Stop fucking with my head. I’m not coming back, I don’t care about you.”

She smirks. 

“Oh...she doesn’t.” She taunts. “What do you think she’d say about this little video?”

Fiona pulls out her phone, a pre-recorded Billy talks about his ‘RUN’ plan. Billy feels sick to his stomach.

“Let’s watch it again, shall we?”

“Turn it off.” He warns.

“No I think we should see it.” 

“Turn. It. Off.” He lunges forward trying to get the phone until the ticket lady interrupts him.

He sinks back into his seat. Fiona stands with the higher ground and smiles at him. She walks off into the roomette direction and he has to take deep breaths to calm down. 

You find Alice after the call, slightly relieved to see her. 

“Everything okay?”

“Um, I hope so. Do you think I’m a bad person?”

“You’re asking the shoplifter if you’re a bad person?” She muses.

“I just feel so overwhelmed by everything right now.”

“Well, go back home then.”

You frown. “I can’t just leave Billy.”

“How come?”

“He...needs me.”

“Do you even know him? In and out? After all these years? Me and Billy have been working together for years.”

“What?” Your eyes searched her for any signs of a lie.

“You’re just too trusting. It's sad, really.” 

“Excuse me?”

“Give me the money.”

“No.”

“See, if you deny me that money, I don’t think you’d like this being sent out to Child Services now would you?” She brings her phone out and plays a voice memo. Your eyes widen as you recognize the moans and Billy’s voice. 

“Stop!” You reach for the phone but she’s quicker. 

“I was in your hotel last night, and now that I know about your kid, mmm you can do the math.”

This bitch. “You were my friend!”

“Listen if it’s any consolation, you were a joy to hang around with. Now, the money.”

You hesitate but reach behind you to grab the bag. You pass it to her as she unzips it to make sure everything is there. “Billy won’t ever be honest with you. Don’t forget it.” 

With that, she walks off. Billy reaches you moments later. 

“I was wrong.” You stand. “About everything.” 

“I need to tell you something.”

"I know."

“Fiona, Alice whatever the feck she’s going by, she’s following me and she used to work for me, and she’s pissed I ended the tour.”

“I know.” 

"Oh." He said.

“Is that all?”

“No...before I walked off, I called everybody a bunch of cunts and everybody turned on me and now I’m being branded a murderer.”

“I think I have you beat, I might’ve given her the money.”

“No!”

“Listen!”

“Why would you do that?!”

“We’re getting that bag back! Let’s go.” 

You drag him out and you two run between cars trying to find her. After accidentally tripping an elderly person, you silently pray you don’t go to hell for that and take hold of Billy’s wrist to have him catch up with your fast legs. 

You two finally find her at the end of the train car, but before you two can even form coherent sentences in her direction, she flips you off and jumps. You scream in shock and turn, Billy taking you into his arms and shushing you to calm you down. 

Once you calm down, the idea pops into your head.

“We have to jump.” You whisper.

“Are you fecking crazy?” His eyes are wild. 

“You want the money right?” You grab hold of his hand, and with a squeeze you look at him. 

“I’m not jumping off of a moving train.” He shakes his head.

“We don’t have another option.” 

You both take a deep breath, stealing glances at each other, and hand in hand, you both jump.

[peacekeeper-xiv]

Honest Q&A: Round 3! Table

By the Twelve! You’re all back!? I mean… um… welcome back, all. Yes. *Cough* Well, as much as it pains me to admit it, I am rather surprised you all accepted my invitation a third time. Excluding mister Mordenson who has… um... graciously chosen to join us despite lacking an invitation… Let’s begin with the obvious question. As usual, we will go around the table.

What is it that prompts you to answer these questions?

Lloire: “I suppose for myself, it’s that I have been through a lot lately. Answering these helps me better understand that man I was and who he is and who he is becoming. The more you learn about me, the more I learn about myself.”

Beta: “That… was surprisingly honest and introspective. Um… We have to be honest right? I’m mostly here to learn more about that guy and to make snarky comments.”

Chadrick: “Aye, ye do seem t’ ‘ave a chip on yer shoulder with ‘Scars’ there lad. Fer me? Ye offered me tha’ hefty pouch o’ gi—O’… too ‘onest ye say? As ye like.”

Aasifa: “The winds blow Aasifa here. You must ask them if you are wanting to know this thing, yes?”

K’risa: “Wait, I thought this was some kinda counseling thing? You’re not just some weirdo asking random questions are you?”

Benedict: “Master Peace there has the right of it. To know oneself is to know the gods.”

Chance: “Good fucking question. Hells if I know.”

Felix: *Laughs* “Master… Peace. Hah. I was bored.”

 Alright. Well, now that we have that settled, let’s get into the list of questions our readers have, yes? Great.

Imagine a future point in your life where all your dreams come true. It's the greatest moment in your life and you get to experience it with -one- person. Who's standing next to you?

Lloire: “…I… Well… I have no idea. It depends on the path I take I suppose. We defeat the empire, it’s Ikara or Soren. I manage to uncover all the lost magicks of the world and start a new school of magick, probably Yuti. I… retire and settle down to cook and live with a family… Some unknown person I’ve not met yet or a child I suppose. Choosing one person is too difficult I fear.”

Beta: “No it’s not. Watch. Ikara.” *Eyes Lloire suspiciously*

Chadrick: “Ah’m with tha lad truthfully. But maybe tha’s just us and ye ‘ave way more close friends than we. Fer me though, Aislyn.”

Aasifa: “Hmm, if Aasifa’s dreams are coming true, he is likely alone but he is rathering companion Rahya is with him, yes?”

K’risa: “Rathering is not a word. Where are you from anyways? Oh, I, uh, sorry I asked. Anyways, I don’t know enough people and I’m not all that close to anyone anymore so, I can’t say. Maybe the kid there. He’s adorable and snarky and would probably make whatever it was all the more fun.”

Benedict: “Sunny would be with me. This much I know.”

Chance: “Helfyre.”

Felix: “Oh, you’d all be witness to it.” *cackles* “But only Aya would be standing beside me.”

 On an average day, what can be found in your pockets?

Lloire: “Hmm, crystals, jewels, a knife, a few vials perhaps. Some gil obviously. On average.”

Beta: “Gears, wires, bolts, screws, tube of grease, tools, crystals, some nuts and berries maybe. Paper, pen. Um… tape, maybe some choco- oh, that’s enough Sure.”

Chadrick: “A wee bit o’ gil Ah suppose. Most e’erythin else is in me pack instead. Ah prefer t’ keep light on me feet.”

Aasifa: “Hmm, let Aasifa be seeing, yes?” *Starts emptying out pockets on the table* “Pepper shaker, feather of big fluffy dragon with hard to say name, someone else’s grocery list, wishbone of Dodo bird. Hmm… Ball of yarn, playing card, ball from Moogle Paw game. A shell from a snail. A pair of broken spectacles, a frog. Hmm, this is where garlean rubber band ball went. Wait… where is Aasifa’s cotton bolls?”

K’risa: “H-how did, did, you, fit?” *rubs her eyes* “Anyways! Sewing needle, thread, gil, measuring tape, that kinda stuff.”

Benedict: “Gil, as the others have noted… save for Lord Taqalid there. I also keep pamphlets for those interested in learning more of the Twelve as well as marks for each of them. Would anyone here like a pamphlet, no? Alright…”

Chance: “Gil. Knife.”

Felix: “Hmm, herb, poisons, bones, stones, vial of various bloods. What’s with the look? Oh please… fine.”

 What’s a body part that you wouldn’t mind losing?

Lloire: “Do we get to live without it? If so, I’d happily remove my heart.”

Beta: “Wow…. Just wow. That… yea.. um… I’d say… Maybe a leg? I could build a magitek one to replace mine. Maybe build a firearm inside it. One of those small ones that pops out in a bind. That would be neat, right?”

Chadrick: “Right… Ye both ‘ave given this thought before Ah see… Ah’d pick, feck… me little finger on me nay dominant ‘and Ah suppose. Cannay imagine losing me ability t’ see tha beauty o’ tha world, or smell good food some lass cooked, or hear ‘er beautiful singing or… well, ye get tha idea.”

Aasifa: “Aasifa is picking his appendix, yes?”

K’risa: “Your what now? I almost wanna swap seats again. I’d lose, an ear I guess? I could always wear hats to hide it.”

Benedict: “Hmm, I need my legs and arms to pray, perhaps an eye. Even if I lost both, Sunny leads us where we need to go anyways.”

Chance: “None. What? He said ‘mind’. I’d mind losing anything. You’re all freaks for not minding.”

Felix: “You know what an appendix is?” *eyes Aasifa* “I mean, that -is- the best answer, but mine is anything except my head. Whatever it is can be grown back.”

 What are three labels that you identify with?

Lloire: “Mage, survivor, guilty.”

Beta: “Yup… that sounds about right. You prolly should’a added Martyr first though. For me, Engineer, Inventor, and… Young.”

Chadrick: “Well shyte… ‘ero, dashin’, an’ expert.”

Aasifa: “What is label meaning? Oh! This thing! Aasifa is called vagrant, vagabond, and drifter, yes?”

K’risa: “Sure, Chad, sure. So glad you didn’t add humble. I guess for me it would be miqo’te, seamstress, excitable.”

Benedict: “This is an easy question. Faithful, devout, and friend”

Chance: “Merc, wolf, practical.”

Felix: “Manipulative, cunning, shadow.”

 Do you believe in soulmates?

Lloire: “… I did.”

Beta: “…not touching that one. Um, yes. I do.”

Chadrick: “Look, ye can test tha’ souls are real. Ye can also force two souls t’ bind t’gether. It’s nay ‘bout belief. It’s tha science o’ animas. But t’ answer tha question yer actually posing, nay. There be nay two people perfectly matched fer one another. Believin’ so will break yer ‘eart. There’s struggles an’ pain an’ shyte t’ work through to make things work, aye?”

Aasifa: “Aasifa is disagreeing. There is someone perfect for you, they are just not perfect person, yes?”

K’risa: “I’m with Lloire.”

Benedict: “Divine is their will. I cannot say that Nymeia’s hand does not guide two threads together in the forming of a beautiful tapestry.”

Chance: “No. Shit’s dumb. I’m with snowylocks there. You find someone you wanna be with and you work with them to make it. It isn’t some meant to be thing that doesn’t take hard work.”

Felix: “Hmm, actually. Yes. I do.”

 What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?

Lloire: “This may sound morbid… but the calamity. It was horrifying, terrifying, yet, beautiful it its raw destructive power. Bahamut is a terrible creature. Terrible, yet beautiful.”

Beta: “That… you are just full of surprises today. Anyroad… I saw some sketches of the inner workings of Alexander while speaking with some goblins in Idyllshire. They were the most… um. I mean Ikara. Yup! Definitely Ikara.”

Chadrick: “Tha’ was tha worst save in tha ‘istory o’ lads sayin’ dumb shyte tha’ might get back t’ their lasses e’er boyo. Ye need some practice. Ah can give ye a few pointers if ye like later. As fer me? Me ma’s smile.”

Aasifa: “Friend Chadrick is sweet person at times, yes? The lights of golden saucer from afar are prettiest thing Aasifa is thinking of.”

K’risa: “Chadrick! Don’t you dare corrupt that sweet, innocent, pure boy!” *Huffs* “Oh, right… umm… Snowfields. They just look so pure. Even if it’s cold as heck.”

Benedict: “The Sanctum of the Twelve is a beautiful place if you have not been.”

Chance: “Get the feeling ‘Scars’ there would disagree Benny. Sunrise. Means you made it through the night.”

Felix: “There was this Alagan princess…”

 Moving on!

What single act are you most ashamed of?

Lloire: “Trying to kill myself.”

Beta: “Good! You should be! But um… I’m glad you realized that… so um… that’s good. Uh… Oh! I know. Um, when I upset Ikara by not knowing what she meant about liking me and an awkward first kiss and yea… I felt like a warped tool.”

Chadrick: “Stealin’ from an old woman. Ah mean, she di’nay know ‘ow dangerous wha’ she ‘ad was… an’ it was fer ‘er own good… but still, it felt nasty, aye?”

Aasifa: “Aasifa let someone he was close to take her own life, yes? He did not see how miserable she had become and did not make better. This is greatest failure.”

K’risa: “That’s, really sad. Um. For me, failing for a hero.”

Benedict: “I think those thoughts are best left for confession with one’s gods.”

Chance: “Nothing wrong with falling for a hero. I’m not ashamed of what I’ve done. I wouldn’t change things.”

Felix: “What I put my daughter through.”

 Everyone has disdain for something or someone.  Who or what do you consider yourself to be “above”?

Lloire: “If I’m to be honest… those who the Imperials subjugate. The ones who work for them after they have been conquered. I have to fight off those feelings.”

Beta: “Yea, not everyone is a stupidly stubborn as you. Um… I guess… if I have to say… brutish people who only solve things with violence?”

Chadrick: “Primals. Nasty buggers. Nay ‘ave any respect fer somethin’ tha’ enslaves its followers.”

Aasifa: “The dirt? For now, yes.”

K’risa: “That’s not what they--. Nevermind. Um, I’m with Chad on this one. Fuck Ifrit and his followers.”

Benedict: “I am a lowly man in service to the Gods. No one is below me.”

Chance: “Cowards.”

Felix: “It’s better for all of your prides that I simply pass on this one.”

 What do you wish you had more time for?

Lloire: “Fishing.”

Beta: “Spending time with Ikara. I should make more time.”

Chadrick: “E’erything. There are nay enough ‘ours in tha’ day t’ get e’erythin accomplished.”

Aasifa: “Living, Aasifa is thinking, yes?”

K’risa: “To keep track of J’ahama and P’arunru and to just hang out with them.”

Benedict: “I would like to have more time devoted to do things Sunny enjoys doing. She gets bored with my reading and prayers and I would want to spend more time letting her have fun.”

Chance: “I’m kept busy enough. I’m good, thanks.”

Felix: “I have all the time in the world.”

 What are some skills that you think everyone should learn?

Lloire: “Sewing and cooking. You can get though a lot of things that way. People tend to be more agreeable on a full stomach. Knowing how to close a wound with a needle can save a life.”

Beta: “I… think you’re the only person that took up sewing to learn to apply it to flesh. I think everyone should know the basics of magitek operation. It’s not going anywhere guys, even if the Empire crumbles.”

Chadrick: “E’eryone should learn t’ play an instrument. Music can soothe tha savage beast as they say. Whether it’s an actual beast or yer beast within.”

Aasifa: “Aasifa is thinking everyone is needing to know how to defend selves, yes? Hmm, he is wondering how friend L’ania has been now.”

K’risa: “The brooding handsome over there already gave my answer, but for me, you never know when your clothes will catch a snag or rip and its way better to travel through Ishgard or the desert without torn clothing.”

Benedict: “Navigation! I am awful at it and would be lost without my guide. I really must offer Llymlaen more prayers.”

Chance: “Basic shit. How to light a fire without aether, pitch a tent, gather firewood, survival in the wilderness kind of things. Seen a lot of corpses out in the wild just dead to the elements.”

Felix: “Alchemy. You’d be surprised at what can be accomplished through it.”

 How good of a dancer are you?

Lloire: “Decent. Better when it’s a slow dance with a partner. I’m not terribly great at the solo dances unless they are more ritualistic or tribal in nature.”

Beta: “Yea, no. I’ve got two left feet. I’m really bad at dancing.”

Chadrick: “Step dance, slow dance, dance at a ball. Ye name it, Ah’ll manage it. Lu’ made sure o’ tha’.”

Aasifa: “Yes. Aasifa is thinking he can dance well.”

K’risa: “I haven’t had much chance to learn. -Someone- was still pouting about his ex and her dancing.”

Benedict: “I… do not dance. Sunny does though! She is very good at it.”

Chance: “Do I -look- like I dance?”

Felix: “No, not really wolf-boy, but neither does Lloire there, so... Myself? I was forced to learn eventually. Been a few dozen years since I’ve needed to though.”

 Do you have any good luck charms or rituals?

Lloire: “Aye, I have a Gagaroon luck-die that Soren gave me a while back. I never travel without the thing. I’m still alive despite my best efforts, so I imagine the thing works.”

Beta: “Yea, if that thing is to blame, we all could use one. Um, I have a lucky wrench? I guess that counts?”

Chadrick: “Psh! Me blood is lucky. An’ Ah’ve all tha charm Ah’ll e’er need.” *Laughs* “Jestin’ aside, nay Ah di’nay carry around any sort o’ lucky charms.”

Aasifa: “Aasifa has pendant that is for this purpose, yes? He is loaning to friend to keep safe.”

K’risa: “Nope. I’m all full up on luck and charms, thanks.”

Benedict: “Nymeia is favored by those who seek luck. Having her with me at all times should suffice.”

Chance: “Fools that trust to luck wind up dead.”

Felix: “You, mister wolf, are no fun. I have one of our companions old coins. He was the embodiment of luck.”

 Worst injury you have had?

Lloire: “Assuming we’re not going with self-inflicted, it would be the repeated beatings to my face that left me half blind.”

Beta: “Oh, not counting self-inflicted. That took out half of yours, huh? Um… I guess the small burn I got when that ceruleum tank caught fire?”

Chadrick: “Ah ‘ad this ‘ead injury, made me forget who Ah was fer a time.”

Aasifa: “Aasifa was stabbed through stomach once. Very painful! Yes.”

K’risa: “I’ve been lucky enough not to get hurt too bad yet.”

Benedict: “As have I.”

Chance: “Took an arrow to my heel once. That brought me down awhile.”

Felix: “Just one? I remember I took about fifteen or so once. Blood everywhere.”

 Who influenced your personality growing up?

Lloire: “My ma’ and Aliya later.”

Beta: “Um… Lucilus I suppose.”

Chadrick: “Lad, yer still growin’ up. Fer me it was definitely me ma an’ me da. Both in their own way.”

Aasifa: “The Commander of the Guard.”

K’risa: “My father.”

Benedict: “Halone largely, but also my aunt.”

Chance: “Myself.”

Felix: “Nettle’s family.”

 If you could remove one emotion from your life, which would you choose?

Lloire: “Guilt most likely.”

Beta: “I’d get rid of bitterness. I hate that feeling.”

Chadrick: “Nay a damned one. There’s too much o’ life in each. Ye get rid o’ sadness an’ ye lose sight o’ wha’ it means ‘ be ‘appy. Ye lose guilt per say, an’ wha’ is there t’ make ye learn t’ nay ‘urt others?”

Aasifa: “Fear. Aasifa would be fearless!”

K’risa: “Jealousy. It’s a nasty nasty emotion.”

Benedict: *turns a shade of red* “Desire.”

Chance: “I think that’s just call lust Benny. And oddball, fear is important, keeps you alive. I’m kinda with snowylocks. You need all of them to be effective.”

Felix: “No, no. I like Lloire’s answer for once. Guilt weighs too much.”

 Well, thank you for your answers. Will I see you all again next time?

Lloire: “Most likely.”

Beta: “Sure. It’s interesting to see what you come up with to ask us.”

Chadrick: “S’long as ye keep up our agreement, aye.”

Aasifa: “If the winds blow Aasifa this way.”

K’risa: “Why not?”

Benedict: “Twelve willing.”

Chance: “…”

Felix: “Perhaps. We’ll see.”

Tagged by: Uh, I made this one. So @me?

Tagging: @wicked-virtue @yutikyis @waitingrose @susukosuko @hedgearcher @hana-xiv @devil-you-know @nebula1984 and anyone I might have left off or forgotten.

[mandakatt]

1-100. You did ask for asks honhonhon

*blinks slowly* Feck. You’re serious, aren’t you....

Ok, Ok ok, One: I did not think someone would take me LITERALLY in my tags. XD  Two: Whew. This took a bit. =P But I aim to please!

Imma put all these under a cut, cause.. holy ballz. XD 

Nosy asks 1-100 [*flexes fingers*]

1. Last kiss: Kissed the boy goodbye before flying home couple months ago.

2. Last phone: call Answered here! =D

3. Last text message:   Answered here! =D

4. Last song you listened to:   Answered here! =D

5. Last time you cried: Few days ago to be perfectly honest. Sometimes just a good cry is cleansing.

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Dated someone twice: Yes, in Highschool I did. *shrug* Didn’t work the second time either. =p 

7. Been cheated on: .....yes.

8. Self harmed: Not in the physical sense - but I have done it where I’ve just stopped taking care of myself.

9. Lost someone special: Yes. Couple times.

10. Been depressed: Regularly.

11. Been drunk and threw up: Twice - the second time I forced myself cause, good lord is the room spinning a bad feeling.

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: 

12. had sex:  ..... With myself, sure.

13. How many people have you had sex with this year?: ...One. Meaning. Me. XD

15. Made a new friend: Yes! Hi! @xcaroldanversx​ =3

17. Laughed until you cried: Once! Comedy shows are amazing for that. 

18. Met someone who changed you: Yes, New outlooks are always awesome.

19. Found out who your true friends were: Feck, this happens yearly. Sometimes, you have to purge what you thought was good, but it’s toxic instead.

20. Found out someone was talking about you: Yep. In both good and bad ways.

26. What did you do for your last Birthday:   Answered here! =D

27. What time did you wake up today: about 3 am, then fully at 7. 

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for:   Answered here! =D

30. Last time you saw your all of your siblings at the same time: I am an only child. A spoiled brat. PFFF! 

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: That I would have done a few things different when I was younger to learn how to manage money better than I have.

32. What are you listening to right now: Stone Sour - Bother

33. When is the last time you had sex?: .....*blinks* .....*thinks* .... Hmm. Feck. Some 8 years ago?

34. Who's getting on your nerves right now: Co-worker that keeps looking down on someone in my office that is on FMLA [Family Medical Leave] I give him the mom stare ™ every time he does it, and tell him how dare he judge someone like that.

35. Most visited webpage: Tumbr ... ugh. XD

36. Favorite colour: Greens and Oranges. 

37. Nicknames: Manda, Katt, Mao, Dude - are the prominent ones I get called. But you could call me anything you wanted really, and I’d probably answer. XD

38. Relationship Status: Not Single

39. Zodiac sign: Cancer

40. Male or female: Female

41. Primary school: Wyoming Elementary

42. Secondary School: Southwest Junior High

43. High school/college: Forest Lake Senior High - No college.

44. Eye color:   Answered here! =D

46. Height: SHORT AF. *huff* 5 foot 2 inches.

47. Do you have a crush on someone: .... do fictional men and women count?

48. What do you like about yourself: My smile I suppose

49. Piercings:  Just the earlobes

50. Tattoos: Winged lion on the back of my left shoulder

51. Righty or lefty: Righty!

FIRSTS:

53. First piercing:   Answered here! =D

54. First best friend: A girl that I had met in Elementary.

55. First hookup: ...good lord I’m too old to remember. o_O

56. First Best friend: ... Hey! REPEAT QUESTION!

RIGHT NOW:

59. Eating: Snyders Cheddar Pretzel bites. 

60. Drinking: Grape Kickstart - I need to lay off these things!

61. I'm about to: Continue working, and taking calls.. ughh

62. Listening to: The current playlist I use for writing, cause I’m trying so hard to finish up a few things between phone calls at work.

63. Waiting for:   Answered here! =D

YOUR FUTURE:

64. Want kids?: Now that I’m older, part of me does, but it’s still an 70% no.

65. Get married?: Would be nice. [Will I marry the current boyfriend? No.]

66. Career: Currently in IT, probably will stay there.

WHICH IS BETTER:

67. Lips or eyes: Eyes.

68. Hugs or kisses: BOTH!

69. Shorter or taller: Answered here! =D

70. Older or Younger: Than me? Doesn’t matter. Age is a frame of mind, and I plan on being that weird 90 year old lady that gives out really nummy cookies to everyone.

71. Romantic or spontaneous: Both - Depends on the situation to be honest! [Mostly Romantic cause I’m hopeless XD]

72. Nice stomach or nice arms: Nice arms. Cause plushy tummies are awesome too!

73. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive

74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship!

HAVE YOU EVER:

76. Kissed a stranger:   Answered here! =D

77. Drank hard liquor: ...does Daily count?

78. Lost glasses/contacts: Yep, to both to be honest. XD

79. Had sex: Once upon a time... XD

80. Broken someone's heart: Yeah, pretty sure I did.

82. Been arrested: Yes. >_>

83. Turned someone down: Yes. 

84. Cried when someone died: Yes. 

85. Fallen for a friend: YEP!

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

86. Yourself: Sometimes, not all the time. But this, makes me human.

87. Miracles:   Answered here! =D

88. Love at first sight: Yes. 

89. Heaven: Kinda.

90. Santa Clause: Hell yes. 

91. Kiss on the first date: Yes.

92. Angels: Kinda

93. How would you label yourself?: WEIRDO!

94. Someone You Pray Everyday For: I don’t really ‘pray’ per se, but I will send all the positive energies and thoughts to a bunch of people daily.

95. Did you sing today: Yes. Couple times already XD I suck at it though! 

96. Who From All Your Ex's have You Cared The Most About: The one I was in a bad relationship with. That.... was such a mind fuck. =/ 

97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: to my Teens. To hopefully do things differently a little.

98. Out Of Everything In The World What Do You Wish For: For people that need assistance in the country I live in, to be able to get it without worrying about what kind of bill they’re going to get in the mail later.

99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: Not at all.

100. Do you like the way you look?: ......yes and no. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. 

[pepperpatrol]

I, personally, don’t have the patience to deal with temper tantrums which is why I am still childless. A child who is screaming is just a child behaving like a child and even though I don’t relate very well with young children I understand that you don’t act like a dickhead to a child. As someone who was abused as a child I want to make it a point that I will not be the adult who ruins the magic the world has to offer to a young, growing mind. When children freak out you, the grown ass adult, need to take a breath and remember that every single bad thing that happens to them literally is the worst thing that has ever happened. So yes, they are going to scream like a banshee when tired. Being tired is the worst feeling they’ve yet to experience. They’re still learning how to cope. Don’t be the shithead who teaches a child that the world is unforgiving and doesn’t give a fuck about them. Reality will do that to them eventually.

Children become adults and the kind of adults they become has a lot to do with how you treat them (and others) as children.

HOWEVER.

I work overnights. So I really shouldn’t see anyone with free roaming kids and tbh the quality of person stopping in my store at 2 in the morning is questionable at best. There are always going to be the parents who stop in for late night fever medications with sick babies, but then there are also ppl who come in with a troupe full of kids and don’t pay attention to them at all. 

I remember one customer came in at about 1AM with her granddaughter (she looks roughly 5 years old) and literally just went to the make up section (at the back of the store) while letting the child wander wherever she felt like. She even said out loud that the��“Nice store clerk” is there so it’s fine. You know. Me. Who isn’t being paid to babysit. She’s there for almost 2 hours. At about 1:30 is when all the last minute alcoholics come in to get their liquor before the 2AM cut off point. This kid is rolling all over our (very unsafe) carpet, barefoot, in front of the door with only me there trying to do my fecking work while making sure these fukkin weirdos don’t make off with this poor kid.

Another customer came in with five kids ranging from a toddler to a 16 yo, sat down at the picture Kiosk and allowed their kids to take off their shoes and start racing through aisles. The baby of which, was constantly screaming and knocking shit off shelves while no one did anything to stop him. They were there for about an hour and a half. 

I even had someone who came in with their 3 yo looking baby and had her run around making messes and asking us questions while her mom fukkin stole shit.

These ppl need to leave their kids at home or just plain have them taken away for negligence (or using them as an accessory for thievery). It’s not my job to babysit your grandkid while you spend two hours damaging my cosmetic products bc for some reason u think ur fukkin allowed to open shit and try it on.

Parents, if you don't want to parent your child[ren], then don't bring them to the damn store! We've got enough crap to worry about, without having to parent your kids for you. Make them behave, or leave them at home.

This isn’t a black and white issue. Some parents AREparenting their kids by ignoring their tantrums. It’s called not rewarding badbehavior with attention. Then you have to account for children with specialneeds. My oldest is autistic and would cry if overwhelmed. I would have lovedto keep him home so he wouldn’t be over stimulated, but I had no one to babysitand we had to eat. Grocery shopping was a nightmare, but thankfully he’slearned good methods to cope now and he’s old enough to stay home alone if he wantsto.

Yeah, if the kid is knocking shit down and tearing assaround the store like a maniac that is justifiably frustrating. But being aparent isn’t as easy as most think because kids and situations are alldifferent. Mom shaming is a real thing(and unfortunately mothers take the blamea vast majority of the time here) and the topic is a sensitive subject to mesince I had to deal with the whole “control/spank you child” shit when I was ayoung mother of a child on the spectrum.

You can’t just lock your kids up and expect them to learnhow to behave. Experience outside of the home is key and they are notprisoners. By all means get pissed at the mom allowing her kid to open candybars and eat it without paying. That’s worthy of outrage. But if the kid iscrying and the parent is waiting for them to self soothe then they know whatthey are doing. And parenting methods are going to differ from one child toanother. One kid needs to be ignored so they calm down on their own whileanother just needs a hug and an encouraging word. Even if it looks like theparent is doing nothing they probably are by doing just that. There arelimitations to this though that will always require intervention. If the parentis ignoring that cue then you are right to make the assumption that they don’tgive a shit. -Abby

[sduswdnd]

Campaign 1 Part 1

I walk into the Tavern of the Profane Cephalopod, not knowing what this invitation is all about.  It is an unusual tavern:  Before I even sit down, one of the brutes goes over a ridiculous number of rules ranging from who can talk, where one could go, all the way to bathroom rules. In and around the room, short, foreign looking creatures circulate, handing out sweet bread and spicy crackers.  I watch a few more interesting characters enter and wander through the room.  There is this weirdo in the corner; a dwarf who looked a lot like Gimli before he let himself go.  After a few more minutes, the weirdo stands and approaches the group.

 "Greetings, I’m Grundrun Rockseeker.  I want to thank you for coming out tonight.  Please enjoy the taco salad, my treat.  Oh and don’t forget the chips, it’s not taco salad without the chips.“

 The Halfling raises an eyebrow, sizing up the dwarf. "Thank you for the invitation.”  He notices the heavy coin pure at the dwarf’s belt and invites him to sit for a game of cards. Gundark Rocksteamer politely declines, siting a need to be on his way. The Halfling then suggests a quick game of dice.  Rockmocker agrees.  I shake my head, knowing he’ll come away with a much lighter purse, the naive bastard.

While they dice, Rackcracker starts talking about this job he wants to hire for.  Straight escort service taking some supplies to a new settlement.  He says he can’t do it himself, as he and some elf had urgent business elsewhere.  But if we take his wagon of crap to Fandolyn, he’ll pay 10 gold pieces each.

Some old guy asks how far away Fandolyn is.  Good question.  Let’s be honest, 10 gold pieces is good for a short jump, but if this place is twenty day’s travel, we’d be screwed.  

Two days, Naptaker says.  He drops the map and ask who’s in.  

There’s a pointy eared ranger, the diminutive rogue, two druids (one emo male human, one female Tiefling) the old guy (a human cleric), an Elven fighter that looks like he’d taken one too many hits in the head, the party assho- I mean the half-elf Paladin and some dude named Gerroll, or something of the sort, he mumbled a lot, and I lost interest in him.  Backtracker pays for the taco salad and quickly leaves with an elf friend.

They stumble out of the pub after Crackbacker, who left in a cloud of dust.  They realize then the first rule of the game:  Get paid up front.

                     ~~~*~~~

After some grumbling, they start on their way.  Knowing their wagon of crap could be seen as a ripe target for thieves, they all take prominent positions in the caravan.  The ranger, one of the druids and the cleric alternate turns driving the cart, while the rogue “hides” in the back. His snores echo into the surrounding forest.  The Paladin, the other druid, the fighter, and Gerroll walk alongside the wagon. They all trade stories along the way.

Captain Aerostar is a pirate ranger, with a knack for finding booty. She is relatively new to the whole ranger game, but had been on a few quests in the past.  

The snoozing rogue is named Baze.  Diminutive in size, he more than made up for it in attitude.  And Swagger.  And lip.  And stabbiness.

Maik, the human druid, is seeking for revenge on whatever torched his family, friends, and local barbershop.  Dressed all in black, listening to Depeche Mode as he brooded on and on about the loss of his loved ones, he is a living poster boy for socialized mental healthcare.

Gerroll has a background of some sort, but to be honest, I think I was getting drinks when he explained it.  He mumbles a lot too, so I’ll just say it was probably something epic and hero worthy. Or not.  I’ve been known to be wrong.

Mirea, the Tiefling Druid, is a former activist, hating oppression and slavery.  She would get grumpy when confronted with either.

The party assh- I mean the party Paladin is a half-elf.  Taxion toted around a black idol he called Boba, or Bobby, something like that.  He’d talk to it, asking for insight, mercy, blessing, ale…

Koran, another human, was a soldier/healer before taking an arrow to the knee.  It inspired him to become a cleric.  

Sylanhaus somethingelse, the snooty elf, is the fighter.  He’d taken one too many hits to the head to be a smart elf, but he meant well,

Over all, a very squishy party.

Maik is humming “On the road again,” when he looks up ahead and announces, “My, what a lovely place for an ambush!”  They all look down to the bend in the road.

Two dead horses lay on the road.  The Paladin decides to magically search the horses for traps or clues. The cleric helps.

After a prayer to his Boba, he searches the horses.  “Yep, everything that’s dead is really dead. The rest of the stuff that’s alive is alive.”

Yep, that helps.

“Oh yeah, and there were black feathered arrows sticking out of the horses.”

Korran starts to twitch, getting nervous and paranoid at the mention of the arrows.  He looks back to the road and notices the emptied saddlebags on the road. Saddlebags marked with the same sigil your dwarven benefactor displayed.

Baze snorts.  “Well, guess we ain’t getting paid today…”

Suddenly… Goblin Ambush!

Korran jumps back, surprised. Maik starts screaming.  Lots of rattling commences as they all move into fighting order…

Combat was fascinating.  Everyone takes turns, like a martial art demonstration. Sylvanhaus moves to strike and hesitates.  The goblins rush in.  Maik pulls his knives, mumbling, “Escort the wagon, they said.  It will be fun, they said.  Easy ten gold, they said…”

Traxion bellows, “Save the ale!”

The first goblin swings at the elf.  Sylvan braces for the blow, but realizes the goblin didn’t hit as hard as he thought he would.  Offended, he swings back at the goblin and misses.  

Another goblin swings at Traxion. And misses.  Traxion bellowed a war cry as he swings to strike, and misses.  

Mirea shakes her head, muttering, “It’s a fecking slap fight,” as she is struck by one of the other goblins.  

Maik gets shot in the shoulder.  “Tis but a flesh wound!”

Captain Aerostar starts flapping around.  “What do I do?” she cries.

Maik grunts, “Shoot the one that shot me!”

She stares at Maik a moment, then shoots.  The goblin attacker is spun around by the impact of her arrow.

Gerroll whiffs.

Mirea finally casts thorn whip, wrapping her goblin attacker in thorn-studded vines.  She grabs the vines, thrashing the goblin into the ground.  He dead.

Baze starts chanting, “Loot the body, loot the body…”

Maik yells, “Perhaps maybe kill the other guys first!”  He swings at the goblin attacker and misses again. Taxi swings again and misses… Maybe the ladies should have taken the lead on this fight.

Baze decides to take another tactic.  He starts to expound about the benefits of being a rogue.  The goblin gets this glazed over look, allowing Maik to miss again.  

Korren finally swings and hits, finally!

Syl attempts to hit his goblin, and misses. He notices Maik watching him intently and yells, “Stop watching me!”  He swings again and finally hits it!  Aerostar shoots and takes down the third goblin.  The group, bloodied and weary, rejoices.

The last goblin takes off running.  The group chases him down and ties him up.  After dragging it back to the wagon, Baze loots the bodies and finds an expensive looking map.  He pockets it.  Koran performs last rites on the horses.  The paladin and the elf take some personal time together and return looking refreshed. The cleric takes the goblin away and returns with the same result.  Then the interrogation begins.

The goblin, who surprisingly sounds like Cheech Marin, describes the bad stuff ahead in the caves they need to enter. Lots of goblins and stuff ahead, culminating in a bugbear boss.  Then they began to argue about what to do with the captured goblin.

“I’ve always wanted a pet goblin…”

And with that, the party hides the wagon.  “Everyone remember where we parked…”

The group takes off down the newly discovered trail.  After a bit, the goblin hesitates.  Baze and Korran narrowly miss a snare in front of them. Mirea snarks, “Maybe have someone in front who can SEE?”  They start yelling at the goblin, threatening him with all kinds of bodily harm.  He craps his pants and starts speaking.  Fast.  Really fast. They tell the goblin to shut up. He keeps talking.

Aerostar starts to chuckle.  “You put in the dime, you have to let the song play out.”

After a ridiculous amount of time, Mirea takes the leash and starts walking.  The goblin points out several pit traps, which are easily avoided.  The group finally gets to a river and a cave opposite them.  Taxion tosses the goblin across and crosses the river, the others following behind. Syl however looks indignantly at the water as he start to cross.  The water avoids him.  

Once inside the cave, they discover a goblin watch tower with two goblins on guard.  Baze shoots the first one, then hides behind Korran, who finishes it off.  Syl hits the other goblin, and takes it out.  

They venture on.  

The cave was dark and dank.  And smells like animals.  Around the bend, two wolves were chained to the wall ahead.  

“Kill the puppies!” yells the ranger

Don’t kill the puppies!” yell the druids.  Maik wanders forward and, with his animal know-how, pets the wolves. An unseen hand gives the wolves laxatives.  Between the petting and the diarrhea, the wolves are subdued.  They journey on.  

The cave opens up into the shape of a bladder.  A trash shoot, not unlike a urethra, emptied onto the ground towards the back of the cave.  

“So do we go up the urethra or around to the kidney?”

While the group is arguing, Baze said, “Screw this noise, I’m going sneaking.”  And he heads into the tunnel.  He comes across a bridge.  A lone goblin keeps watch, singing into the darkness.   

“I don’t ever wanna be-eeeeeeeeee… ulk!” 

Baze mumbles, “I hate that song,” as he shoots him.  The dead goblin falls from the bridge and floats down the river.  He sneaks on. 

Goblin go down the drain…. 

Further down the stream, the group notices the dead goblin floating by. “Where’s our rogue… DAMMIT!”  The party splits.   

The first party follows Baze and encounter three more goblins on the bridge.  Two goblins spot them and start to attack.  The third runs away.  

Gerroll runs in and attacks the first goblin and hits him hard. (See, I was paying attention!) Maik throws a flaming cabbage at the goblin but misses.  He does throw Baze off balance, forcing him to miss his strike.  Korran however, doesn’t miss, and takes the goblin out. They make quick work of the second goblin and start chasing the third goblin. 

The second group heads under the bridge and head to a collapsed cave entry partially filled with rubble.  Taxion starts up the rubble pile, sending rubble down on his friends. 

“See I told you…” mumbles Syl. 

They scale the rubble and enters another cavern.  A big cavern.  A huge cavern.  A mysterious voice whispers through the air, “Because size does matter…”  It seems to be a living quarters of some sort.  There are tables, a cooking area and some very depressed looking goblins.  Taxion and Korran look longingly at the goblins.  They then notice the elf tied up in the corner.  

“Someone has to free the elf.”

“Not it!” “Nose goes!” “Viking!” “Dammit!”

Eventually, Mirea frees the elf, who they realize is Syldar, Grabkankle’s friend.  She arms him with her scimitar and they turn to face the goblins…

Who are still oblivious to the party.  Taxion is equally oblivious to the non-threatening goblins and hits one.

So now Syldar is pissed, the goblins are pissed, everyone is pissed. Syldar and Mirea take out one of the goblins.  Then the head goblin yells, “Stop!!!!”

Everyone freezes.  The head goblin starts to plead.  “Please don’t beat us.  Please beat up our boss, Klarg!  He sucks!”

Syldar sneers, but nods.  “Klarg’s a dick.  Let’s kill him… but after that, I still need a ride to our settlement.  Also, you haven’t lost our crap, right?”

“No, your crap is safe.”

“Great.  I’ll need to Uber back, and if you give me a Lyft, I’ll pay.”

“Cool,” they all agree.  “But first Klarg.”

They all meet up at the kidney stones.  “We’re gonna kill Klarg.  Wanna come?” 

And off they go into the bugbear den.  They see two chests and the bugbear. 

Klarg was warned, so he’s ready.  Maik tries to snipe Klarg.  Korran casts move without a trace on everyone just before setting Baze loose on Klarg. 

Stabby stabby stabby orgy time!  A bunch of others hit (not Taxion, who instead, took a heroic pose) but the only really fun parts was when Maik threw a fireball near Mirea and she turned back, looking slightly aroused.  In any case, Gerroll makes the killing blow and start looking at Syldar.   

They loot the first chest while Baze investigates the urethra.  All his tromping around and he still can’t find the— 

“Guys,” Aerostar asks, “what about the other chest?”  They all stop and stare.  “Oh yeah…” 

In the end, they have piles of crap, gold, a statuette of a frog, two potions, and a problem.

“How can we get all this back to the cart?”

They all look at the pet goblin.  “We have a Sherpa!”

600 copper pieces     140 silver pieces     2 potions of healing     1 jade statuette of a frog 

Next:  Hookers and Blow at Fandolyn.

[gulescamisade]

Alaska:  Day 24, New Rebel Base

[[ They've arrived in the next rebel base, their giant insectoid "pilot" coming to a stop at a large growth of moss and flowers on the cavern ceiling to munch away. A rebel conductor helps them out of the basket and back into the tunnels, where they're informed once again that they stand to meet the small group that will lead them to the lusus keeping hold and assist them in securing their transport to Minnesota. They wait in a room while the troupe is summoned. ]]

REDGLARE: -She found it kind of peaceful, on the giant bug basket. A lot of time to think. Now she's hobbling off and having to walk again hurts a whole fuckload, don't it? Urgh. She leans back and folds her arms as she waits.-

[[ The bandages have gotta be hella itchy, too. ]]

REDGLARE: >;/

LATULA: -WALKING BACK AND FOURTH A BUNCH NO LESS-

DAVE: -he's been compliant and talking incessantly but hey, he's alive. the room they're in makes a nice shelter, but he's antsy- heres an idea

DAVE: teleporters

MINDFANG: -The bug basket wasnt awful, but still she was glad to be moving along. The sooner the better really. And also not having to move much after her chest trauma was great, but now was the time to suck it up again and she leans against one of the walls while digging her fingers into the small crevices of her bionic arm to see if she can adjust anything in there to make it any semblance of slightly more functional.-

HESONY: =mrrrg... He approached Mindfang and made a gesture towards her arm. In addition to that, he makes a face at her digging.= :\

MICEXA: -how rich do u think this operation is-

MICEXA: -that's the look she is currently giving Dave, but she quickly readjusts to look at Sunny-

MINDFANG: -Slowly looks up at him, do you see the look in her one eye? Do you see how she imagines destroying you.-

MINFANG: Can I help you.

HESONY: At the rate you're going, your arm is gonna go limper than a droopy bulge.

HESONY: =He held out his hand offering and open= Let me Help you?

LATULA: (pff h4h44h4h4h4h4h4)

DAVE: nice

MINDFANG: -Turns her death glare briefly on Latula.-

MINDFANG: Your use of descriptors m8kes it almost impossi8le to say no. -Shes being sarcastic.-

LATULA: >8P

HESONY: That makes it all easier then. =with one hand he took her arm and inspected it, running a finger over a nasty looking puncture.=

MINDFANG: -EXCUSE.-

MINDFANG: -Sorry hes getting punched in the face, you dont just grab someones arm. Here comes her fist.-

LALTULA: OH SN4P DOG

HESONY: =well he should have expected that tbh=

HESONY: =the blow staggers him and he straightened from it, wiping blue from the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand.=

HESONY: You do realize punching me only exacerbates the problem.

MINDFANG: -Yeah it kind of did, her metal hand struggles to open again, making several clicking noises as the fingers uncurl.- Yes I am aware.

MINDFANG: And it was still worth it. -She almost smiles when she sees the blood. Almost. Its satisfying.-

MICEXA: !!

MICEXA: -SLIDES IN BETWEEN THEM AGGRESSIVELY-

MINDFANG: -DO YOU WANT A PUNCH TOO? She will give them out for free.-

MINDFANG: -Eyes her as she cradles her arm.-

REDGLARE: Stop 1t.

REDGLARE: W3'v3 got mor3 f1ghts 4h34d of us.

REDGLARE: L3t h1m f1x 1t.

DAVE: we also got a lot of distance to travel

DAVE: before the fights

HESONY: =he sneered from around Miss= Just thought you ought to know you Have a malfunctioning piston and the shock absorbers are shot to Hell.

HESONY: However I don't entirely blame you. Most of your group is rather dull-witted.

DAVE: maybe were gonna spice it up

DAVE: bam traveling fights

DAVE: wheres my goddamn train

DAVE: gotta bounce on the cars

MINDFANG: I can travel fine with it in this condition, and o8viously it is still useful enough to fight. -Just not...ideal. She can make it work.-

MINDFANG: And what makes you so qualified to make the repairs anyway.

HESONY: ...

HESONY: You Have got to be kidding—

HESONY: =he pulled off his right glove and clenched and unclenched his metal hand.=

MINDFANG: -Watches him, unimpressed.- Having a 8ionic replacement does not qualify you to fix one.

MICEXA: -pinches the bridge of her nose... sunny why... why must you care so much and be so cute-

HESONY: Things work differently in the League.

HESONY: You learn or you die.

HESONY: =not cute. bamf. look at me=

MICEXA: -YEAH BUT U CUTE THO-

[ !!! SUDDENLY !!! A truck with enormous mud and slush caked treads pulls in outside, seeming to grind down the rough terrain with ease. There's some kind of machine gun rotating around the roof although its' not currently in use. There are several trolls hanging off of it. If the gang is inside, they can hear the roar of the motor signalling it's arrival. VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOM. (do u like my sfx) ]

MINDFANG: Thats no new knowledge. Any wriggler worth its half formed 8rain cells should know that.

HEITOR: -snuffles while hanging off the edge of the truck. HE IS A BIG.-

AQUILA: -actually is one of the unlucky folk stuffed inside with the gigantic driver :[-

HESONY: That is more than enough to be qualified. What, do you require a certificate?

LATULA: -peeps outside to look at the truck-

LATULA: uh yo.

LATULA: w3 w41t1n on som3on3 h3r3?

MINDFANG: I might considering I have no personal investment in trusting your word-- -Turns to look at Latula.-

HEITOR: -GASMASK STARES FROM OUTSIDE. Heseems to be hauling some kind of gigantic backpack, along with several toolboxes worth of tools on his belt and pants.-

LATULA: uhh

LATuLA: y3s.

HESONY: FINE. Let it fall apart or become dead weight, but don't make this a liability to everyone else.

HESONY: =He finally glanced up as they exited the vehicle.= Apparently.

REDGLARE: -HOBBLING TO EXIT AND SHOVES THE DOOR OPEN HARSHLY, staring at the truck.-

REDGLARE: Who 1s your l34d3r.

MINDFANG: -Thats harsh redglare.-

HEITOR: -SNORTS behind his mask, adjusting a nozzle on his backpack.-

DAVE: now the partys here

ULFURA: -She ALSO hangs off the outside of the truck, trying to peek around Heitor to see the new guys and having a REALLY HARD TIME.- HEEEYYY???

REDGLARE: 1s th4t you?

HEITOR: -SNORTS again and leans back.-

ULFURA: NO!!! ARE YOU KIDDING???

ULFURA: -LEAPS from the truck to eyeball them -- yeah, she is smol. SHE SQUINT.-

DAVE: this looks like a fun one

MINDFANG: -Small and squinty? What a combination.-

URSAIS: -Has difficulty parking. Eventually gives up and just KICKS DOOR OF THE TRUCK OPEN with furry boot. Out comes the burr troll. She is enormous, WIDE AND LONG even compared to someone like Heitor. - o'hm serRRy bout the trRuck fuckin rRickety piece a shit. AY.

HEITOR: -GRUNTS and punches ursais in the arm.-

HEITOR: -DONT INSULT HIS HANDIWORK-

ULFURA: -frankly just dwarfed by every single one of these guys-

REDGLARE: ...

REDGLARE: -focuses on the BIG and sighs-

REDGLARE: So you 4r3.

URSAIS: -rubs her arm and GRUNTS AT HIM.- we'rRe 'erRe to pick up some fellow rRRRebels. owch. look all i'm sayin is knowin how big somuv us 'rRr you coula opted ferR somethin' a little biggerR.

URSAIS: NYWAYS.

URSAIS: who do i gotta talk to to get this shit rRollin. -LOOKS ARUND.-

MICEXA: ....

MICEXA: -looks between the UU members-

HEITOR: -SNORTS.-

LATULA: yo.

ULFURA: ...

ULFURA: WELL SOMEBODY SAY SOMETHING???

ULFURA: -points at Latula- YOU???

URSAIS: -gdi ulfura out of the mouths of babes...but yeah this is kind of awkward.-

LATULA: M3?????

URSAIS: look it was my underRRstandin that some peple needed ta get to minnesodey??? SO SPEAK TH' FUCK UP.

LATULA: OH SH1 T 1 M34N. uh. sh1t. 1 D1D s4y th4t.

LATULA: y3s w3—

REDGLARE: Y3s.

REDGLARE: M1nn3sot4. Soon 4s poss1bl3.

REDGLARE: W3'v3 got oth3r cr3w to m33t w1th.

REDGLARE: C4n you do 1t?

LATULA: >8T

HESONY: =he's not saying anything. he might get punched in the face again.=

DAVE: they better do it

URSAIS: -SHE IS KIND OF GIVING THE LEGISCERATORS THE STINK EYE.-

MICEXA: -shifts. EVEN MORE AWKWARD.-

MINDFANG: -You might get punched regardless, you are never safe.-

AQUILA: -floating- g'day ladies n gents! :D

HESONY: =squints right back at her=

LATULA: h4h4 soz l1k3. 1M l4tz pyrop3 but you 4ll tot3z h34rd of m3 b3for3.

ULFURA: COURSE WE CAN DO IT!!!

LATULA: (PL34S3.)

ULFURA: ... -looks up at Heitor- (WHO???)

URSAIS: -kinda cuts through everyone to get to Redglare- well 's wut the feck we'rRe e'rRe to find out but i ain't givin no garRentees. wuz a hell of a time even gettin erRe at all, but i think we'rRe yerRr best bet. cuz we gota n ace up ourR sleeves and it's sure as shit not this trRuck. we gonna trRy an trRavel by airR.

URSAIS: and once we get to minny sody we'rRe gonna help y'alll rRip our mutual enemies ta shrReds.

URSAIS: -grins-

REDGLARE: ...

REDGLARE: 4lr1ght.

REDGLARE: R3dgl4r3.

REDGLARE: R34dy wh3n you 4r3.

MINDFANG: Sounds enticing.

URSAIS: my name is capn urRsais arRcone and this here's mah crew. -GESTURES TO THEM. APPRECIATE THEM. SHE'S PROUD.-

URSAIS: -ESPECIALLY OF YOU, ULFURA.-

HEITOR: -HISSES OUT A NOISE THAT SOUNDS LIKE 'HI'-

HESONY: =blandly=

HESONY: Charmed.

URSAIS: i wasn't specially talkin to YEW.

URSAIS: -OWLTURNS-

MINDFANG: -Get told Hesony.-

ULFURA: -BOUNCES IN PLACE. YES, NOTICE HER.-

HESONY: And that is some kind of problem?

LATULA: -loudly SULKS-

MICEXA: -rests a hand on his arm- Sunny-- Don't.

LATULA: -man she can't even be famous as a criminal-

ULFURA: -she doesn't watch enough TV to know you... tbh she doesn't know most of you. BUT SHE LIKES THAT SMALL WEIRDO LOOKING ONE, THE RED GUY WITH THE FINS. She's pretty sure he's a guy who would angry squat.-

URSAIS: -VAGUE SWEEPING GESTURE.- arRight well you lot get all yerRR shit redy trRy to travel as light as possible tho.

REDGLARE: W3 lost most of our b3long1ngs.

REDGLARE: 1t's just us.

URSAIS: -grunts- we gon have to do sum walkin firRst and no offense but y'all look like yerR one foot in the grR...-stops..glances at all these people with amputated limbs- o sorRy...um

URSAIS: ...nyways. ye. bundle up n stuff and we'll go.

URSAIS: the trRuck is a little too conspicious so we'rRe just gon leave it. -glances at Heitor apologetically.-

REDGLARE: -wise...-

HEITOR: -GRUNTS-

LATULA: 41ght.

URSAIS: -DON'T GRUNT AT HER LIKE THAT, IT'S NOT HER FAULT.-

URSAIS: ey y'all elp anybody that can't make it on theirR own.

HEITOR: -he can and will carry u-

URSAIS: -SHE COULD CARRY LIKE...THREE OF YOU.-

HESONY: =so could he but no one want him to touch them=

URSAIS: -THEN DON'T BEAT EM UP SO MUCH NEXT TIME GOOD GOD.-

MINDFANG: -Yeah jeez.-

HESONY: =Then maybe warnings should be heeded next time, sheesh.=

URSIAS: -FUCKIN highbloods.-

URSAIS: -FUCKIN GOVERNMENT HIGHBLOODS.-

MINDFANG: -Gets the urge to punch Hesony again. But thats pretty normal.-

MINDFANG: Then lets get moving.

HEITOR: -LUMBERING FORWARD.-

LATULA: -she is not lumbering... but she ain't sprightly, either.-

LATULA: soz w3r3 you 4t th3 4tt4ck down th3 w4y wh3n w3 got p1ck3d up?

HESONY: =you castist pos. there's at least five highbloods in this UU group.=

ULFURA: -she will be sprightly for the BOTH OF YOU. bounces ahead of them-

MINDFANG: -Goodbye comfortable wall, shes walking.-

URSAIS: -YE BUT THEY'RE FAMOUS REBELS. IT'S DIFFERENT.-

HESONY: =NO IT'S NOT=

URSAIS: -PROBABLY HELPING DAELOS WALK. Anybody else? She's got a free arm.-

MITUNA: -Floats quietly-

[[ It's cold and snowy out still, and that and the darkness offers them a fair amount of general cover. It shouldn't be a terribly far walk to the lusus holding encampment, but they'll have to go through some woods on the way. ]]

REDGLARE: -no thank u she will FORCE HER WAY THROUGH THE PAIN-

REDLGARE: -GRAHH-

MICEXA: -redglare pls...-

MINDFANG: -Redglare please.-

URSAIS: -Just gives her a weird look??? Buti it's noen of her business.-

MINDFANG: -Keeping her eye on Redglare just in case she falls.-

MICEXA: -she hesitantly... offers Redglare an arm.-

MICEXA: -LET HER HELP YOU DAMMIT-

MINDFANG: -Redglare dont do, dont let them help you. She squint.-

DAVE: -with the gang- do we have to go through the woods again

REDGLARE: -WELL if mindfang is gonna refuse then shell take it-

REDGLARE: -ALWAYS DO THE OPPOSITE-

MINDFANG: -TRAITOR.-

MINDFANG: -Shes judging you so hard right now.-

MICEXA: -thank u... she wraps the arm around Redglare to help support her-

HESONY: =makes a frustrated noise somewhere in the back=

MICEXA: -between the two of us we have two whole legs-

MICEXA: -it's like we're almost a whole functioning person-

REDGLARE: -minus one eye-

TEREZI: =eyes are overrated=

URSAIS: -She's scarcely seen a sorrier looking group of people.-

LATULA: uh y34h 1m w1th h1m tbh.

LATULA: gonn4 h4v3 fuck1n for3st n1ghtm4r3z.

MITUNA: -Flaps his nub-

MINDFANG: Just do your 8est to ignore it. -At Latula and Dave, despite feeling pretty on edge about going into the woods too...-

DAVE: got it DAVE: great

LATULA: 1m just s4y1n fuck tr33z.

URSAIS: o yea i ferRgot ta answerR ya. we weren't so much in the fightin as mowin thrRough it.

AQUILA: and it turned out just beaut. :)

LATULA: r4d.

HEITOR: O (oo) O

HESONY: (Must be mowing through small fry. Of course you'd be able to beat fodder.)

HEITOR: -HEAVILY BREATHES OVER HESONY'S SHOULDER-

HEITOR: O (oo) O

MITUNA: 7alk 5hi7 ge7 hi7

MITUNA: (he5 a one man apocalyp5e)

HEITOR: -THANK U MITUNA-

HESONY: You don't know that. You only just met these people!

MITUNA: L00K 47 H1M -Gestures at him-

ULFURA: HE'S A ONE MAN CHEESEBURGER APOCALYPSE!!!

HAITOR: -reaches a meaty hand over and ruffles ulfura's hair.-

HAITOR: -SCAMP-

ULFURA: -punches Heitor in the buttcheek. She's buttcheek height right???-

ULFURA: -YEAH THAT'S WHAT YOU GET.-

HAITOR: -yes-

HESONY: =Just...DRAGS his hands down his face=

URSAIS: acutally thas a preddy accurRate scription..

MITUNA: you merely adop7ed 7he darkne55 he wa5 born in i7 molded by i7 by 7he 7ime he 5aw 7he ligh7 he wa5 a man

HAITOR: DOCTORATE... IN ENGINEERING...

URSAIS: -looks at this tiny psiionic. who hurt you to make u like this.-

HAITOR: -vents some steam from his backpack-

URSAIS: jesus trRoll chrRist.

MITUNA: -Sunny!-

URSAIS: we know u got koali-fee-cations. we GED IT.

HAITOR: -GRUNTS-

ULFURA: -grunts also, but HIGHER, and more sassy.-

HAITOR: -WOW-

MITUNA: -Floats around Roadh-- Haitor-

HESONY: =snaps at mindfang and gestures at...ALL of Haitor= Here's your fucking certification, must be your lucky day!

MITUNA: (he big mad)

MINDFANG: -Slow turns to Hesony and raises her fist ever so slightly.-

URSAIS: -also gives him a Look like boy she redy 2 fight.-

MINDFANG: Calm down already.

URSAIS: -elirah would get mad at her tho for gettin off task...-

MICEXA: Hesony--!

MINDFANG: We get it, it is o8vious you do not like them. But good news no one else here enjoys your presence either.

HAITOR: -he'll totally fight... but the mention of his koala fictions distracts him a second and he TURNS towards Mindfang.-

HAITOR: -slaps his own arm corresponding to mindfang's cybernetic limb and points to her-

HESONY: =He's smiling. All the stress of the past month has totally worn him down= You sure you wanna do that?

HESONY: Your arm will likely break before my face does. :D

MINDFANG: -BOY.-

MINDFANG: -Looks at Haitor, and others. You see him asking for it right?-

NYALAH: -turning in her grave being in proximity to the magnitude of this blueblood fuckboi. Jfc.-

HAITOR: -STARES-

URSAIS: -GROWLS- ey! quit yer shit 'fore i get angrRy this ain't no leuiserRly strRolll this is serRious.

HESONY: =Nyalah, you dont even get to, youre the reason Terezi died=

MITUNA: Y34H 817CH ehehehe

MINDFANG: -Better be calling Hesony a bitch.-

MITUNA: -He'll leave it to interpretation-

MINDFANG: -She huffs though and turns her gaze forward again.-

URSAIS: less play the quiet game, yeah? til we get therRe.

URSAIS: we'rRe nearRly to the encampment.

URSAIS: got some steep turrRain comin up firRst tho.

MITUNA: 573PP1N 0N 7H3 834CH

HESONY: =His face is just=

HESONY: =BLUE=

MINDFANG: How steep is steep?

DAVE: im guessing steep

HESONY: What? Can't Handle a little rock wall?

MINDFANG: I can. 8ut we have group mem8ers missing lim8s thanks to you.

REDGLARE: >;I

REDGLARE: -well she wasn't going to point it out but-

MICEXA: -INTERNALLY SCREAMING-

MINDFANG: And so traversing any extreme terrain might prove extremely difficult on them. 8ut yeah clearly they are fucking weak 8ecause they cant "Handle a rock wall." thank you for pointing that out.

HESONY: (I'd say it's pretty much even. Terezi's dead thanks to you.)

URSAIS: shut yerR damn mouth, i don't wanna hafta say it gain.

MITUNA: (no you)

HESONY: (No, you.)

MINDFANG: -Wigglers. Both of you.-

URSAIS: fuck me right up my furRy nook. -grumbling.-

HEITOR: -stares at ursais. maybe they can throw them-

URSAIS: -it's seeming more and more appealing...-

MITUNA: -Flips sunny off-

HESONY: =Tuna gets the double bird=

MITUNA: -Plarps him in the face with a psionic snowball-

HESONY: =SPUTTERING=

MITUNA: ehehehe

HESONY: =beans Mituna dead center with a manually made one.=

URSAIS: -SHE JUST....CANNOT BELIEV.E-

MITUNA: -DOOF!-

MITUNA: -That's it, he just shakes lose an entire tree branch of snow onto Sunny's head-

REDGLARE: -she's not even gonna try to stop this.-

HESONY: GAHHH!!!

HESONY: =Takes out his shield and uses it to scoop snow off the ground with it= HESONY: EAT POWERDY WHITE SHIT!

URSAIS: -that's it. she's grabbing Hesony by the arm and dragging him none to gently to the front of the line with her-

MINDFANG: -Jfc guys.-

MICEXA: HESONY!!!!!!!

MITUNA: -makes a lil psionic barrier. Unbothered.-

URSAIS: -barks in his face- WALK! AND DON'T DO NOTHIN ELSE!!!

HESONY: =Wrenches his arm from Ursais's grip. There is a brief staredown=

HESONY: Don't. Touch me. Again.

HESONY: =And with that he does start walking again. If they're good at anything it's following orders.=

MITUNA: -snrks-

URSIAS: -SNORTS, her nostrils flaring and just keeps up her pace.-

MITUNA: -Slides up next to the pig-

MITUNA: doe5 your arm 5hoo7 la5er5

HEITOR: -NO RESPONSE. snorts piggily-

MITUNA: dude you go77a 7ell me

HEITOR: -VENTS STEAM FROM HIS BACKPACK. holds up his arm. Wiggles his fingers. NADA-

MITUNA: awwww

MITUNA: do you 7hink i could ge7 one 7ha7 5hoo75 la5er5

DAELOS: -speaks up for the first time this entire time- I thought you could already do that

HEITOR: -SNORTS AGAIN.- HEITOR: -also, lowers his arm.-

HEITOR: -STARES AT DAELOS-

DAELOS: -THIS IS WHY HE ISN'T TALKING THESE PEOPLE MAKE HIM HECKING UNCOMFORTABLE. Also he's a depressed horse.-

MITUNA: yeah bu7 how 5wee7 would i7 be 7o 5hoo7 la5er5 from your hand5

MITUNA: back me up here 7ula

LATULA: SHOOT 1T FROM YOUR D1CK MOR3 L1K3

AQUILA: i knew a guy once who could do that i'm pretty sure. it was a real rip snorter of a pahty trick let me tell ya.

MITUNA: -Looks down at his crotch a tad too long-

LATULA: lm4o.

MITUNA: im gonna do i7

LATULA: DUD3 WH4T.

MITUNA: im gonna