#fear of pain
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Me when I remember something I said ages ago that was wrong or my values no longer align with
#my path of self improvement has been less self righteous and personally gainful#and more just. a lot of embarrassment and pain#like i wouldnt change the path i took to get where i am now but i wouldve chosen to travel that path sooner because omg#nothing hits me like the fear that future me will feel the same way about right now me that right now me feels about past tense me
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I don't want to regret the way I lived
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#gojo satoru#nobara kugisaki#nanami kento#choso kamo#junpei yoshino#jjk leaks#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#this idea started as a 2 part series . then my braincells decided to spark and supplied 7 PAGES#'did you sleep hina' no#ws looking up mentally stable things like 'who has died in jjk' smh i love my hyperfixation media im sooooo glad so many ppl r DEAD#i *could* have included more ppl but i think this is a good crew. this is a yuuji emotional support crew#also Was gna include his grandpa final panel but i Did Not Want To#he is implied through th dialogue#side note i donot like how i cn see this scenario playing out . ..yuuji this isnt ur stop u r monopoly voice Just Visiting ok >:(#anyway I broke my own heart with this and ik i hyped it up a lot but i hope that its not just me...#hope i did not hype it up fr nothing and no one else finds it devastating :((((( that would b humbling in the worst way#pls ...join the happy party train.......i hate it here i suffered pls :<<<<#also !!!! colours in this !! i cooked i fear . adding th first bit of warm hitting yuuji's face after th first 2 panels....#ive never had that kind of experience while drawing before it was wild . painful ! but wild.#the whole transition from p 2->3 might b the most emotionally moving piece ive ever made to me#not 2 sing my own praises tho i will shut up ! i wil. nap
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People keep on asking for more Baby Robin and Papadile so here is more Baby Robin and Papadile. Now never ask anything from me ever again
#My art#One Piece#Long post#Sir Crocodile#Nico Robin#Alternatively panel 5 would've been a close up of Crocodile's face from Robin's POV where he looks like he's giving her a death glare#Not intentionally he's just a big scary bastard with a Resting Murder Face and Robin is a small traumatized child#But I wanted to focus on the silliness of the moment so you get the goofy version instead#IDK man there's just something very funny to me about the idea of Robin just randomly info-dumping about a subject she's read about#And Crocodile being like ''?????????????????????? The fuck you talking about??''#Robin leaves the ship's kitchen and Crocodile just stares at the tomato like ''...It's a fruit? Forreal?''#(Meanwhile Robin is sweating bullets like ''I called his favorite vegetable a FRUIT right in his FACE he's going to KILL ME'')#Robin grew extra feet from the bottom of her feet to reach the counter and that actually isn't me trying to explain bad art away#In the original Papadile comic there was a panel of Robin doing the dishes with extra feet to reach the sink but I cut it out#(It was a stress relief comic I did not feel like drawing a complicated background in detail) (BUT YES I THOUGHT OF IT)#Nico Robin Age 11 is *more* than capable of cooking Crocodile just does not trust her with his food. At least not yet#She did start doing the dishes unprompted and continues to do so (mostly out of fear). Croc told her she didn't have to but allows it#IDK a lot of people seem to headcanon Crocodile as incapable of cooking and like. Surely Mr ''I don't trust people'' knows how to cook#Like he doesn't have to be a master chef or anything but and maybe he enjoys not HAVING to cook (pain in the ass with one hand + knife/hook#But surely he can cook decent enough. SURELY#Botanists don't @ me I know the ''tomato is a fruit'' thing isn't fully accurate this is just a silly little haha comic
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comic i made about out-aging the person i've been grieving
#tw death#tw dead body#tw blood#tw sibling loss#idk what else. i dont know#gio arts#i kind of made this partly to get over my fear of drawing you. i dont know how ive been using art to reflect pains and i still couldnt do t#that#anyway#LONG POST#THAT TOO
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I can't get over how scared caitlyn looks when she realizes she's about to be killed, that there's nothing she can do to stop it. she just regained consciousness, discovered that someone she trusted had betrayed her (had, perhaps, never been on her side at all), and then her one last attempt at resistance was brutally shut down before it even began.
the wide eyes. the way her breathing speeds up right before maddie pulls the trigger. this is caitlyn kiramman realizing she's about to die, and she is terrified.
#it's actually so horrifying#ambessa was so brutal about it#she wanted caitlyn to SUFFER for her betrayal#caitlyn is just so shell shocked and frightened in front of her OWN MEN#AMBESSA WHEN I CATCH YOUUU#arcane#arcane spoilers#caitlyn kiramman#and yes she's also in pain but i do think that's secondary to her fear in this moment
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The pain
I worry about the pain of being left out - where I become close with someone (friendship or romance), something doesn't work out and we break off ties. Or the physical connection never happens, I just dream about being close to them. Then they ignore me and become close with others, making me feel worthless and insecure because I feel inadequate next to these people.
It happened to me as a teen, and I worry it will happen again in the future. I can't cope with it.
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Man it’s fucking obnoxiously insidious how blatant this shit is. Oh suddenly we have a guide to watch out for scams, oh suddenly PayPal is discontinuing their fundraiser services, around the year mark of the 7th? Like scams havent been an issue for years already and it’s just a coincidence how targeted it all is?
And while im at it you fucking ghouls who share the chart of Uhmm Well How Is It A Genocide When There’s So Many Of Them :-) and mock peoples suffering as performative, as they ask for a chance to live and say Well English isn’t your first language so this is a scam LOL, to turn a blind eye to the HOSPITALS being put up as targets because Obviously its all hamas and misinformation- and if it isnt, its still hamas and justified. All the bodies are justified. All the people bleeding out and starving are justified. Every man, woman, and child could be a terrorist. Don’t you know?
There is nothing in the world to justify any of this. for the love of god please help who you can and keep spreading fundraisers, these are people begging for their lives. These are people begging for their lives
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The thing about being religious is you'll talk about your beliefs and/or experiences with non-religious people, and they'll sort of pat you on the head and say, "Yes, what a nice little idea, I'm glad that you have your beliefs to comfort you!" and every time you have to bite your tongue because your religion isn't just a "nice little idea" to you, it's a cosmic truth that underlies all things, and furthermore, although God Himself has comforted you, that doesn't mean that faith itself is comfortable, but if you put any of that into words, they'll look at you funny.
#and even me saying 'God is my comforter' isn't some nice pretty thing either#what i mean ultimately is 'when i am angry and afraid and suffering God is not driven away by my anger or fear or pain'#it's ugly and it's brutal And Yet 'to whom shall i go?'#christianity tag#live from the scriptorium
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rage.
#welcome to today's episode of “me trying to draw 76 different emotions at once”#rage+grief???sorrow??? anguish?????#hmmmmmmm#definitely pain#and a hint of fear#no but like he's angry but there's sadness underneath you get what i'm saying#the kind of rage caused by something that left you traumatized and you just can't stop thinking about how unfair it was#like “i didn't deserve this nobody deserves this” kind of rage#well anyway#i don't even care about anatomy at this point#just let me see how much i can distort the face and still have it somewhat resemble the character#didn't mean to draw him crying again but my hand slipped oops#astarion#bg3#baldur's gate 3#bg3 astarion#baldurs gate 3#astarion fanart
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seeking refuge
closeup under cut!
#now that i think about it i fear there is a very blatant trend of the colors green and orange in my art. how have i never noticed thjs#anyway. i was listening to mag 160 mag 161 and mag 162 while drawing this👍 pain#this podcast and its influence on my emotional state#tma#the magnus archives#tma fanart#jonathan sims#martin blackwood#jonmartin#jmart#mag 160#eye contact#scopophobia#jaspers art
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it's so interesting to me, the things that people hold onto when they're afraid. the people, objects, and parts of themselves they cling to tighter, even if it's irrational and counterproductive, for fear of them being torn away. when everything you have, perhaps even everything you are, is under threat, your world becomes so small.
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i don't normally participate in these redraw challenges but it's megumi so i'll make an exception
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk megumi#megumi#looks at clock UHHHHHHHH oops#i got lost in the sauce that is rendering his gd chin and under his lips.... ive been in stylized anime mouth land 2 long i fear#i had forgotten how much of a pain those shadows are :'>>> eSP at a lookdown angle#fought a bit but little did he know i spent years doing coloured pencil portraits. this is My domain#god but the rest of the skin render was so FUN i love . warm grey in2 brown in2 red/orange fr the deep underneck shadow#lip tint heavy blush freckles glossier model fushiguro megumi...........im a believer i fear#had a bit of a hard time finding a middle ground between how i normally draw his hair and a more Realistic take on it#the model in the og has hair that's pretty close but i think the strands r a bit short n too heavily curved fr my tastes#its my brand im afraid i simply must give itfs both longer hair#nothing else feels Right#but god i underestimated how Good this photoshoot is as megu material . i get the hype now i get it#i did the sketch n i looked at it and i had an oh /oh/ moment#smh megumi put those lustrous emerald orbs away before u hurt some1#his gaze is too powerful . slaps a red bg on him makes him my new icon :)#anyway its 6am it is morning time do i sleep fr like 3 hrs or do i say megumi voice Whatever we shall see
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Still haven’t gotten to him yet but I needed a self-indulgent doodle. 😔
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#DAtV#Emmrich volkarin#my art#I fear I’m setting myself up for pain with this#but the visual is still on my mind and he’s still rotating in my brain#I doubt they’ll change the casuals just from what I’ve seen with the companions I have rn#messy hair Emmy tho#self indulgent is self indulgent#hush now#I’m so excited to see him grahhhhh
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happy 3 year anniversary to hyunjin's artist of the month ❣️
#hwang hyunjin#hyunjin#stray kids#bystay#createskz#staydaily#skzco#skz#a9gifs#flashing tw#*gif#*ccarly#*hyunjin#*carly:hyunjin#these are oversharpened i fear. sawwry too late now#studio choom stays a pain in the ass to color#anyway. king. iconic. it's really been three years. Man
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it's been what...2 weeks? since I watched dbd and I'm still reeling from edwin saying you have to experience hell to see the rest of it and we have charles who couldn't see hell until he saw edwin suffering and broken.
#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#charles rowland#edwin paine#they drive me insane bro#like charles sashaying thrpugh hell#completely unimpeded#and then seeing edwin in so much paina nd fear#and suddenly charles has unlocked hell sight#like edwin's suffering and pain is the manifestation of charles' hell#paineland#payneland
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#i don't know if you understand me but in my opinion Toki and Bendy are extremely similar#both experienced traumatic events that caused their age regression#their childish behaviour is a coping mechanism that allow them to abstract from pain and fear#and both of them have a teddy bear#moral orel#adult swim#metalocalypse#toki wartooth#nurse bendy#not a ship
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