#fawk off goodnight

[allpromarlo]

am i writing this much tragic siblings stuff because my brother is leaving for spain in five weeks or do i just like pain

[heartorbit]

a wahoo girl in a wahoo world

[cubitodragon-moved]

Forever actively hiding his shadow infection worries and upsets me - in that good ‘how dare you rp your character so well’ way CC!Forever brings to the table, of course. (Some of it is also due to meta changes and the Purgatory event being that weird “is it/isn’t it RP relevant?” blurred line, but either way…)

A thing we all need to appreciate is that none of the other Islanders are aware this is even a thing. As far as anyone is concerned, seeing WB012 at the Green reshuffle meeting was the first time the majority had seen it at all. And questions about that went unanswered when they asked the Worker about it, likely thanks to the Watcher’s influence. (They also never saw them leave, and never saw them die thanks to being booted for maintenance. Goodnight sweet WB012, we hardly knew ye.)

But wait, Farli, didn’t people who attended the Guy Fawkes night mini-event see the state Forever was in? Yes, some of them did! And of those present, only Bad actively noticed and openly queried about his extensive injuries, which Forever tried to brush off and defer to explaining ‘later’. The rest simply assumed he was a wreck after being in the Nether for a month —Which, you know. Valid— before all getting distracted by blowing up buildings and setting things on fire.

One can’t fault our beloved cubitos for being easily distracted by things like that.

By the end of the mini-event, Forever had pulled an Irish Goodbye and wandered off to check out Cucuruchito, wander the server, and go back to his mega base. Others logging in didn’t see the state he was in, as he wasn’t there.

Forever had planned to speak with both Philza and Bad privately about what happened - except his PC died in RL. One way I choose to view that unlucky circumstance is thus: his body just forces him to pass out from sheer stress and exhaustion. And that promised ‘Later’ never comes.

The next time anyone sees Forever, he’s in a new skin, burns and scars and infection covered up, and Forever looking tired but somewhat better (for a given value of better). It’d be easy to think “oh the black stuff probably just washed off”, never mind that most people there at Spawn had no idea there was any black gunk on him in the first place.

And then cinematics and server shuffling and the Purgatory event happen. Teams happen. An awful week of awfulness divides friends and made thinking about what happened before Purgatory irrelevant in the face of needing to survive.

Forever is a man who doesn’t share his hurts openly, emotionally or otherwise, bottles things up to an alarming degree until he explodes. He puts others far far far ahead of his own well-being. He’s the sort who wants people to notice and care, but also doesn’t want anyone worrying about him. He has the unreasonable expectation as a people pleaser that he needs to do this by himself. What other people don’t know won’t hurt them, only him.

It’s not like anyone else can do anything about it. So why worry them needlessly, when saving the eggs is the priority?

He’s still covered up. Still hiding the shadow infection. And while he’s now on a team that has a few more people he’s relaxed around and has some trust in, we also have little under one week left of being stuck in Purgatory. For all there are long moments of alone time while preparing for the day, there’s few opportunities for privacy right now, where confiding in someone might happen.

When Forever next gets to rest and check himself over, will the infection have spread? Will someone else see and put 2+2 together - and potentially get a 5? Is the infection why he’ll be able to use the Judas book at all when that time comes?

I don’t know. I’m worried. Especially if the infection could potentially be infectious to others….We’ll have to wait and see.

[dufferpuffer]

Sometimes, this line is taken from Tom and used to make him out to be a victim of Albus' suspicions: growing up disliked by a man he feared. Constantly watched him like a helicopter parent, assuming him to be a problem from day one...

But the text shows this not the case.

They didn’t see another person until they reached the Entrance Hall, when a tall wizard with long, sweeping auburn hair and beard called to Riddle from the marble staircase. ‘What are you doing, wandering around this late, Tom?’ Harry gaped at the wizard. He was none other than a fifty-year-younger Dumbledore. ‘I had to see the Headmaster, sir,’ said Riddle. ‘Well, hurry off to bed,’ said Dumbledore, giving Riddle exactly the kind of penetrating stare Harry knew so well. ‘Best not to roam the corridors these days. Not since …’ He sighed heavily, bade Riddle goodnight and strode off.

(CoS Ch13)

This scene is just a little after Myrtles death - and immediately precedes Hagrid being framed for her manslaughter. Tom has spoken to Headmaster Dippet and been denied staying at school over the summer because... well, a girl died. Who is going to stay in the school just to babysit him?

Albus, finding Tom wandering around at night after such a tragedy, simply asks what he is doing - and when given a vague answer suggests it's unsafe to roam the corridors and sends him to bed.

He doesn't question Tom. He doesn't walk him to his common room, or follow him even from a distance. He just bids him goodnight.

That's the exact opposite of assuming Tom to be a problem. That's more trust than a teacher would put into many students even under normal circumstances, let alone after a death. It lines up with freedoms he has previously given him, too:

“I don’t need you,” said Riddle. “I’m used to doing things for myself, I go round London on my own all the time. How do you get to this Diagon Alley— sir?” he added, catching Dumbledore’s eye. [...] Harry thought that Dumbledore would insist upon accompanying Riddle, but once again he was surprised. Dumbledore handed Riddle the envelope containing his list of equipment, and after telling Riddle exactly how to get to the Leaky Cauldron from the orphanage, he said, “You will be able to see it, although Muggles around you — non-magical people, that is — will not. Ask for Tom the barman — easy enough to remember, as he shares your name —” [...] "[...]So — when I’ve got all my stuff — when do I come to this Hogwarts?” “All the details are on the second piece of parchment in your envelope,” said Dumbledore. “You will leave from King’s Cross Station on the first of September. There is a train ticket in there too.” Riddle nodded. Dumbledore got to his feet and held out his hand again.

(HBP, ch13)

Even surprising Harry - Albus allows Tom to take care of his own path to Hogwarts, simply because he wanted to do it alone. After hearing bad stories about how he uses his magic, after experiencing first hand him not wanting to return stolen objects and snatching coins from his hand - he trusts Tom to act alone.

Because Tom agreed to start a new life in the Wizarding World. He agrees to follow Wizarding Law and respect him as a teacher at Hogwarts rather than command and spit on him with distrust. So he trusts gives him with a fresh start - no unwanted supervision.

In regards to his 'penetrating stare':

The very first time the word 'penetrating' was used in the books at all was in the previous chapter, in a very similar scenario: Harry, sheltering secrets of whispers and snakes, talking to Dumbledore about an attack Hagrid would then be accused of.

‘[...] Fascinating creatures, phoenixes. They can carry immensely heavy loads, their tears have healing powers and they make highly faithful pets.’ In the shock of Fawkes catching fire, Harry had forgotten what he was there for, but it all came back to him as Dumbledore settled himself in the high-backed chair behind the desk and fixed Harry with his penetrating, light-blue stare. Before Dumbledore could speak another word, however, the door of the office flew open with an almighty bang and Hagrid burst in, a wild look in his eyes, [...] ‘It wasn’ Harry, Professor Dumbledore!’ said Hagrid urgently. [...] ‘Hagrid!’ said Dumbledore loudly. ‘I do not think that Harry attacked those people.’ [...] ‘You don’t think it was me, Professor?’ Harry repeated hopefully, as Dumbledore brushed rooster feathers off his desk. ‘No, Harry, I don’t,’ said Dumbledore, though his face was sombre again. ‘But I still want to talk to you.’ Harry waited nervously while Dumbledore considered him, the tips of his long fingers together. ‘I must ask you, Harry, whether there is anything you’d like to tell me,’ he said gently. ‘Anything at all.’ [...] ‘No,’ said Harry, ‘there isn’t anything, Professor.’

(CoS ch12) [edited, sadly - Hagrid's vehement defense of Harry is very sweet]

Dumbledore talks about Phoenixes re-birthing from their deathbeds, remaining faithful (love this line, I wanna pick it apart one day) - then gives Harry the same look he gave Tom. Hagrid comes to Harry's defense - and Albus is quick to agree... ...but he wants to question Harry more.

This is something he doesn't do to Tom. He has changed his behaviour from the past - where he was more trusting of Tom.

Could the 'penetrating stare' be him using legilimency...? He seems to know Harry is hiding things. He 'considers' Harry. Well... even if he did use legilimency, what did he find out from Tom?

Riddle said he had been to see the Headmaster. Albus stared - then said 'goodnight' and left. That means he mustn't have seen Myrtles death, the Basilisk, the Chamber - not gotten any inkling of Tom's plans. If he did look - I think he was only seeing if Tom really had just been to the see the Headmaster, and saw it was the truth. An invasion of privacy, yes. But he didn't pry deeper, in a way that suggests particular distrust - and it is obvious the fact a little girl was brutally murdered is on his mind.

~~~

As prev. and OP say, Tom's idea of 'not being liked as much' seems to be 'didn't kiss my ass - but still bent over backwards for me.' Albus was still giving him special treatment - or at the very worst, regular student treatment. He was still assuming the best of him.

Re-reading Chamber of Secrets and I get to this little gem from Tom Riddle

“Yes, I think Dumbledore might have guessed. Dumbledore never seemed to like me as much as the other teachers did…”

In light of HBP, this sentence is gold. So Dumbledore didn’t like you as much as the other teachers? I wonder why, Tom! Could it possibly be that the first time he ever met you, he discovered that you were already using magic to intimidate and hurt your peers, even before the tender age of 11? That you were bullying people into giving you their possessions? That you were torturing and killing animals? That Dumbledore, what a fuddy-duddy, mistrusting and misliking you over a little torture and intimidation. Or maybe it was because you used a giant snake to murder a young girl and then framed an innocent boy for that murder? I guess we’ll never know!

[witches-and-cows]

here for you

pairing || alec hardy / gender-neutral!reader

pov || third person omniscient

summary || alec does his best to comfort you after a bad nightmare

warning(s) || cursing, nightmares, kissing, uhh, kind of smut? idk i'm half asleep as we type

————-

"they're all gonna leave, [name]"

you're standing alone, vulnerable and bare, as the voices screamed from the black mass, taunting you, teasing you.

tearing you apart with words alone.

you scream and cry, turning to run as the mass grows limbs that seem to be made of tar; you're running, running, losing the mass.

then you trip.

your body seems to give up as you sob on the floor, your voice growing hoarse as your sobs get more frenzied. the sticky black mass surrounds you with it's poisonous tendrils-

"[name]!"

a voice calls out from beyond the cocoon of shame, guilt and regret. the voice is worried, almost pleading with you as it grows louder and louder-

"[NAME]"

your eyes fly open, and alec is looking over you, worry etched into his features. his warm brown eyes soften as your lower lip quivers, tears pooling in your eyes.

alec runs a hand over his face as he pulls you to him, whispering soft reassuring words as your frenzied sobs quiet to small hiccups. his hand goes to cup your cheek, as you look up at him. "sorry," you mumble, wiping your eyes with the heel of your hands. you have snot running down your face, and you look like hell.

(he means this in an "i'm sorry you have to deal with this" way, not a, "i think you're unattractive" way. he's sure you know this)

your boyfriend smiles sadly, shrugging you off, and gets out of bed. he can feel you watching him go, your gaze lingering on him blankly.

xx

he doesn't like to see you cry.

he pours you a glass of water, and grabs a washcloth, wetting it with warm water. as a victim of nightmares himself, he understood how draining they could be for someone.

he hates that the "someone" in question this time was you.

he makes his way back to the bedroom, quietly urging you to sit up as he wipes the dried tears and snot off your face. you feel your eyes droop as he offers you the glass of water; you take it gratefully, whispering a "thank you" as he waves you off. "you wanna talk about it?"

"no, i don't. can we just...lie here? together?"

he nods, and you set the glass of water on the nightstand. he crawls into the bed beside you, mumbling, "do you want a kiss?"

you nod enthusiastically, smiling as he leaves a soft kiss on your lips, grunting softly when you return the affection with a sudden vigor, kissing him deeply. he pulls you on top of his lap, and grips your sleep shirt. he feels your hands find purchase in his hair, on his chest, anywhere, to reassure that's he's here, he's real and he's not leaving.

his hands find your hips, and grips them tightly, tight enough to leave bruises, but you don't mind it. it helps you feel grounded. he flips you both, and puts his hands on either side of your face, tongues exploring each other's mouths. he presses himself into you, groaning as you buck your hips up, eager to feel him. he returns the gesture, and your shirt is thrown off.

-x-

the silence after your frantic love making is comforting, the only thing to interrupt it the occasional attempt at pillow talk, that ultimately leads to you laughing at alec's poor conversation skills; he'll then kiss you again, pulling you toward him for soft, intimate kisses along your neck and face.

you both stay that way; kissing and cuddling, exchanging kind words and semi-nonsensical jokes with no punchlines until he yawns in between kisses; his eyes droop. you kiss the corner of his lips, and you get comfy beside him, pressed against his chest.

"goodnight, darling. sweet dreams."

you fall asleep to the sound of the water outside, and the feeling of his chest rising and falling.

—————

fawk.

[palmett-hoes]

I’m support of Thicc Minyards: during off season when they’re pro, Andrew pudge takes over and he gets chubby and Neil ADORES it. Always laying on Andrew’s stomach or putting his arms around his waist, or a hand on his chest. He’s just so SOFT

well you’re right but, buddy, im gonna say something incredibly cursed to you right now

adjust for height, and the 100% Proper and Correct body types for andreil is exactly the same as the ship roadrat from overwatch

and the content of this ask is a super popular trope in the roadrat fandom

andrew is built like a very very short mako rutledge and neil (who is just a very very short jamison fawkes with all his limbs and hair intact) is Into It

thank you and goodnight

[laurazepamwrites]

The Chemicals between us ~Ch.7

‘You’re serious? You're not fucking with me are ya Old lady?’

‘I can assure you Jamison that I am completely serious. You and Rutledge are both assigned for our next mission..should you choose to accept.’

Ana sat and watched patiently as the Junker let out a whoop of delight and began racing around his quarters, grabbing whatever might be useful without even knowing what he was doing and where he was going and throwing it into a duffle bag. His mouth was racing as fast as he was moving and in his excitement jumped on Roadhog a couple of times.

‘Gonna be like this for awhile..’ Roadhog warned her.

‘Just as well, briefing is not till tomorrow morning, but I am here to discuss privately with you both about what is needed..and expected.’

Her tone made Junkrat finally slow down, his arms full of assorted wires which trailed to the floor as he cautiously peered at her. Ana smiled lightly and folded her hands in front of her. ‘There was of course some disagreement to you joining us on this mission. Good points were made on both sides but ultimately the decision to let you come was made. It seems a skill for destruction would be most beneficial to us if used correctly.’

Junkrat giggled, ‘Trust be lady, much more of me would be missing if I didn't handle explosives correctly. You just tell me who or what needs blowing up.’

‘There is a compound outside a small town in Russia. We know Talon are using it for storage of some kind. Weapons we expect. Once we have cleared out what guards they have and find any useful information then the building and its contents need to be destroyed.’

Junkrat made a dramatic sigh and slouched lower into his chair. ‘Issat all? Fuck, give me a challenge why don't ya?’

Ana narrowed her eyes at him. ‘Don't be cocky, the last time you met Talon your friend was injured. There will be more guards, more guns, even Mechs. We need your complete cooperation on this Fawkes.’

‘Yeah yeah, I’ll do what I’m-’

Ana held up a hand to silence him, mildly surprising Roadhog when he did keep his mouth shut, her warm expression had gone, now she was talking to him like a Captain.

‘Commander Morrison was against you coming and he was not the only one. You are used to working alone but here we work as a team, If you do  anything to jeopardize the mission or us then it will not be Morrison or Talon you need to fear, and if you even consider running then know this; I may only have one eye but my aim is still deadly, and I have something much worse than a sleep dart.’ She leaned closer towards him. ‘Are we clear Fawkes?’

Junkrat made a frightful glance towards Roadhog before gulping and nodding his head vigorously. Ana also turned to look at him, fixing him with her gaze until he too nodded in agreement, and with that the sweet old lady was back as Ana smiled brightly and clapped her hands together. ‘Wonderful! Well then gentlemen, I shall see myself out, be sure to be at briefing at nine am sharp, It will not do to be late. Goodnight!’ She closed the door behind her leaving the room with a few seconds of silence before Junkrat broke it.

‘Wouldn't fuck with her mate..’

He only grunted in reply. The one man apocalypse refusing to agree that an over sixty year old woman with one eye just made him feel like a ten year old child.

          ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

‘You cannot be serious?’ Asked Fareeha.

‘Do you see me laughing Fareeha?’  Morrison replied wearily

‘Mom! You can't expect two Junkers to undertake missions!’

Junkrat choked on his coffee, ‘ Cough!  Fuck! Fuck..sorry.  Cough!  First; none taken Birdy. Second; Shes your mum!?’

Fareeha ignored him, throwing her hands in the air in an exasperated manner.

‘The decision is final, and not for debate.’ Ana’s reply was curt.

‘I think it's a great idea!’ Hana chipped in cheerfully.

Junkrat pointed at her. ‘See? Lil Sheila gets it!’ He flashed a grin at her.

‘That's enough.’ Morrison raised his voice above them, sure enough the rooms attention settled on him. He brought up a satellite map of the Compound and surrounding area.

He sighed deeply, deciding for the millionth time in his mind if this was the right call.

‘Ok.’ He finally said. ‘This is how we play this out. We are outnumbered so communication and efficiency is key in this mission. Our first objective is to dispose of the perimeter guard.’ The map highlighted the perimeter. ‘This will be completed by Team A made up of myself, Tracer, Genji and McCree, once they are dealt with we rendezvous with Team B. Torbjorn and Winston will take down the gate and fence security with Athena's help. This may get messy here and if Athena can’t bypass their security then we storm the gate. Either way Team A and B both access the gate together and for god's sake stay close to Reinhardt's shield. Once those gates are breached Team B enter, you're the heavy hitters. Take out as many as you can whilst Team A flank. Hana I want you and Fareeha focusing fire on their Mechs. Once the courtyard is clear Team B head into the compound whilst Team A flush out the outer buildings. Look for anything that might be useful. Im talking files, security footage, anything that may give us a lead. In the meantime Fawkes will rig the place. Once we have everything we need we clear the area and rendezvous at the Orca, the compound goes down once we are airborne. Questions?’.

‘What if backup arrives?’ McCree asked.

‘It really shouldn't, not until we are long gone. Talon should have no idea we are going there.’ Ana replied.

Lena raised her hand. ‘When do we commence the operation?’

‘In two days. We’ll be arriving outside Bryansk at approximately four am, we’ll meet up with Genji and Zarya. The perimeter guard has a round at six am sharp. That's when Team A strike.’ Morrison replied.

Junkrat raised a metal hand. ‘Question mate.’

‘What is it?’

‘So, right, you want me to blow this place sky high yeah? With what exactly? I haven't been allowed near any of my gear or whatever good stuff you have. Happen to have any bombs lying around the place or what?’

It was Winston who answered. ‘Commander Morrison, Captain Amari and myself have already discussed this. You have permission to work on explosives suitable for the mission in a designated area in the watchpoint, just make a list of what supplies you will need and Torbjorn will try and accommodate you.’

‘You saying I get me own workshop?’

‘We’re saying you get a place where if a bomb goes off you don't bring down the whole watchpoint with you.’ Interjected Morrison.

‘ Pfft! Unlikely but whatever..’

Morrison sighed. ‘How long will it take you to rig the building?’

Junkrat stood up and leaned closer to the compound map, he furrowed his eyebrows and chewed his lip as he studied the building, eventually slouching back into his chair.

‘Gonna be two hours tops mate..’

‘Really? That long?’

‘Oh, oh yeah sure i'll rush it shall I? Look mate, you want it done right and it's getting done right. I need at least eight explosives to bring down a building that size and one fuck up and we go down with it. I can maybe speed things up if they have a gas supply or generator I can use to accelerate the blast.’

‘Er..actually I think there is a main power supply which luck would have it is right next to the main building.` Said Winston.

‘That’ll do it, ta very much.’

Morrison stood up. ‘Very well, Fawkes. Go make your list and get to work. Everyone else prepare and have the workshop make sure your weapons and armor are good to go. Winston, prepare Athena as much as you can. Everyone dismissed.’

Hana immediately grabbed Junkrat's arm, bouncing slightly in excitement 'This is gonna be awesome! We haven't struck at Talon this hard before. They won't know whats hit them with you two on board.’

Junkrat was just as enthusiastic. 'I'm getting off this rock! Im gonna blow shit up and im getting off this fucking rock!’

Hana grinned up at Roadhog. ‘Hope you're feeling better big guy, would hate if you got wiped out before we even get going!’

Roadhog tilted his head at her and contemplated the young woman smiling broadly at him, eventually he gave her a nod. Satisfied she turned her attention back to Junkrat.

‘C'mon let's go find Lu and get some breakfast.’

Roadhog watched them leave before deciding he should probably eat himself and slowly followed behind. ‘ Must be getting soft  .’ He thought to himself. ‘  Or that girl is a lot braver than she looks. ’

Mei left her quarters as the briefing adjourned. As she was not called to be present she knew once again she’d be left to babysit the watchpoint, not that she minded so much for this particular mission. It would be bloody most likely and her skills did not lie in combat however she could help with shutting down the defences..she could assist Winston with Athena, she could-

  ‘Oof!’  

‘Whoa! Morning Mei.’

In her thoughts Mei had turned the corner and had walked into Fareeha. ‘Sorry! Sorry Fareeha, guess i got a bit distracted.’

‘Its fine, don't worry about it’ Fareeha replied brightly. ‘To be honest that may have been my fault..briefing was..let's say, unexpected.’

‘Oh? Are you still going?’

‘Yeah I'm going..but guess who else? I have no Idea what the Commander and my Mother are thinking! To let those Junkers in on missions now? Its madness!’

Mei’s expression instantly darkened. ‘What?’

‘Right? How hard can it be to bring down a building? I don't trust them and I hope I’m wrong but-hey? Mei? Where are you going?’

Mei had hardly heard her, her temper had flared up with an added dose of jealousy and with this fueling her she was ready to let her feelings known to either Winston or Morrison. She saw Hana and Lucio leave the common room and decided to hang back a bit, she was in no mood for their cheerfulness. Once they had disappeared from view she continued down the hallway stopping by the common room door, her temper only made worse by its lone occupant and her new target.

Mei stormed into the room. ‘Ta me de! You're going? You?!’

Junkrat was sitting on the counter halfway through a first round of toast, the kettle was softly boiling behind him. ‘And a good morning to you too Frosty..’ He said with a mouthful of his breakfast.

‘How?  Why? Why you? You're a manic pyromaniac!’

‘Woke up on the passive aggressive side of the bed again I see.’

Mei smirked ‘I did not realize Overwatch were so desperate we now consider using Junkers..’

‘Don't mince your words will ya.’ He took another bite of toast. ‘Past the point of considering anyway, me and Hog are most definitely going.’

Mei glared at him and began to rather aggressively make herself a cup of tea whilst ignoring the smug smirk on his face as he watched her with amusement. She did not even want it but she did not want to give him the satisfaction of leaving even more. She tutted at him ‘Could you move? You’re blocking the kettle.’

He sighed and jumped down from the counter ‘I love our little talks..’

‘Really? Because I don't.’

‘Not so fluent in sarcasm are ya?’

‘ Hmph! Well you know what they say, it's the lowest form of wit.’

Junkrat laughed ‘Know who said that Frosty? People with no sense of humor.’

‘Well just because I find yours to be immature does not mean I don't have one!’

‘Oh do you? Has anyone actually seen the mythical creature that is your sense of humor?’

Mei slammed the spoon she was about to stir her tea with hard on the counter ‘Why do you always have to be such a Jerk?’

‘I was minding me own fucking business and you come in here yelling at me for something I had no say in! Fucking go moan at Morrison or better yet Torb since it was his fucking idea! Christ woman…’

He was right of course, although it suited him greatly it was ultimately the decision of the Commander and Captain. Not wanting to apologise and with nothing else to say she silently stirred her cup of tea, only looking up when fresh toast popped up from the Toaster.

‘Look Frosty.’ Said Junkrat as he reached behind her and took his second round of toast. ‘I get you feel shitty, really. It fucking sucks and I get that you feel even shittier about me cos youre actually Overwatch and I’m whatever unsavoury name you wanna call me. So I reckon you use some of that attitude you save especially for me and go confront Old man winter or the Monkey yeah? Ask em to send you out.’

She blinked at him in surprise not expecting him to show any sign of understanding how she felt, he flashed a grin at her and took a bite of his toast as he began to leave. She felt a pang of guilt for being so rude to him. ‘I was going to..erm..maybe I was rather..’

Junkrat interrupted her, turning around and walking backwards with his mouth still full. ‘Who better to give the weather forecast eh?’

‘ Gah!  Thats not what-! I hope your mission sucks!’

He flashed a grin and winked at her. ‘Not really the team spirit but its so sweet you’ll be thinking of me!’

Mei glared at the now empty space and blew on her tea only to grimace when she took a sip. After all that she had forgotten to put the teabag in.

[writtenfan]

Exceptional Emotions

Severus x Reader Imagine 

Request: Hello! Can I request a imagine where the reader is a student at Hogwarts? She is a muggle-born and in the Gryffindor house. How about a scenario of Snape getting upset that the reader’s dad isn’t treating her with respect and he asks Dumbledore for help. In the end, the reader opens up to him about her parents getting divorced and her dad being mentally ill with bipolar.

(Wow, this took a bit, but I hope you enjoy it!)

The door closed with a soft clank; he wiped the bridge of his nose and tossed his hair back as he ran his fingers through his long fine strands of black. His throat ached with a strained voice and his temple pulsed.

He was looking forward to the dreamless sleep, that would allow him to no longer worry about the world.

He fumbled with the parchments under his arm as he walked down the dark candlelit hallway. The castle was always so eerie and calm at night, portraits snored, or gossiped quietly to each other about their day, the wind howled softly against the outer walls. He paused and looked out of an open window watching the moonlight glittering in against the stone floor tiles.

Severus grasped the sill of the window and took a deep breath of cool crisp air as he admired the sights outside, looking out into the horizon past the trees.

Although this moment was cut short as his eyes shuttered closed when a bright light shined across his face.

He tilted his head towards the ground and watched the figure of a student disappear across the stone columns, sneakily into the dark corner of the courtyard below. He pushed himself away from the window and sped downstairs to the courtyard quietly, a grimace planted on his face, hand gripping his wand firmly.

Holding the side of the column he peered into the courtyard, staying in the darkness. He watched the student pull their cowl away from their head. His pulse rose once he identified the trespasser was you, He was almost ready to step from behind the column to scold you when he watched her pull out a medium-sized mirror. It's frame thin and golden.

“You should speak to me more often…” grumbled a voice from within the glass.

“I try, but it isn’t always that easy…I have a lot to deal with here…”

“And you think I don’t?!”

There was a long, gloomy pause. His eyes narrowed as he slowly moved behind another pillar so that he could get a closer look at what you were was looking at. His footsteps hardly made as a sound as he sauntered barely behind your shoulder, the only thing separating you from him was a stone railing.

“No- that’s not the case dad...I-“

“You think you're better than us, don’t you?”

“No. That absolutely isn- “

“-But you have time to call your mother eh? What is it huh…can't stand to talk to your father anymore?”

You took your hand and wiped it across your eyes, angling the mirror so that your father couldn’t see.

“No, dad. Mom called me first, I think none less of you both. School just takes a lot of time and-“

He heard a crash from within the mirror,

“Shut up!”

Severus pressed his hands firmly against the stone and clawed at its surface, as he struggled to keep his robe from revealing his location as the wind picked up.

“You were always so selfish you know that…” the voice grumbled

Your fingers pressed against the sides of the glass as you stared emptily into the mirror.

“You. Your mother… Always thinking you both knew everything… and didn’t even consider asking me…” the voice trailed off.

“Dad. Are you taking your medication…” you whispered as you watched the mirror in soft sadness watching your father angrily toss something out of frame.

Another loud sound rose from the mirror.

“Don’t act like you care, stop babying me…Go back to learning your magic… no. How about you come back here and help me out huh?”

“Give your old man some support, I bet you have access to loads of things in your little wizard world I could use!”.

“Yes. I’ll bring you back something…” your voice cracked in a soft reply.

You stared at the face of your father for a moment, “Goodnight dad. Take your meds.”

Your father grunted in a reply which was cut off as you tapped the screen, making the mirror reflective once more.

Severus studied the huddled figure of the girl as she leaned herself against the back the stone head raised towards the sky. Her (e/c) eyes were wet with tears, they trailed down her face and were wiped from her cheek. She let out a loud sigh into the sky as she ruffled her hair in frustration.

Eventually, she rose and walked back towards her common room in Gryffindor tower. He watched her leave, and pain filled his chest, a pain he hadn’t felt since he was a child. To think fathers could act such a way to the children and partners that love them. How dare he talk to his own spawn like that? When all he saw was the lingering amounts of love she had for him? He didn’t understand, nor wanted to… all he knew was that he had to do something. Had to say something. No one should go through what he had gone through, especially her. Not her, no one could treat her like that.

It was morning; the sun had risen 4 hours ago, and the sun was well into the sky and beaming down into the castle in smooth warm rays.

Severus tapped his finger against his wooden desk as he stared absentmindedly into his empty classroom. It was 10 minutes before class, his first class of the day. But he wasn’t in his usual mood of discontent, instead, he was eager for it to begin. All night something filled his dreams with emotions he didn’t want to be reminded of…just because of what he had experienced the night before. He woke this morning, feeling frustrated and distressed, unable to figure out what to do about it thus he unexpectantly found himself in front of the headmaster, early that morning.

“It’s very kind of you to be so concerned with a student’s troubles Severus…”

He grunted in reply and paced down the coiling bookcases on the edge of the headmaster’s office, pretending to look at what the shelves had stored on them, trailing his finger from the book, cover to cover.

“It’s nothing more than a concern for their performance in class...” he responded sternly stopping in place wiping the dusk collected by his finger against his side.

He turned back towards the headmaster who stood calmly in the middle of the room looking over him with a soft content, which for some reason angered him.

“Well,… although we can’t exactly step into (y/n)’s personal life in the way you would like Severus. We can offer her some emotional support, you…could offer her some emotional support.”

This caused his head to pound, “… Me?”

“Yes, Severus. Talk to her, ask her about what has gotten her so lost in her work…be an aid for her…offer her some solace.” He pondered the words in his head and whisked his attention to the high glass windows in Dumbledore’s office as he fidgeted with the cuffs of his sleeves.

“You’ve dealt with similar troubles…you would be the perfect person to talk to her… “

This caused his eyebrows to furrow, he didn’t want that fact to rise in the conversation, but sure enough.

“Fine.” He growled, looking back towards Dumbledore who was now petting the feathers under the beak of his Phoenix Fawkes.

“I was hoping someone more qualified would be of more help… but if you think so headmaster, I’ll be forced to take your word.”

A small creak interrupted his thoughts. He rose his head from the floor and looked crossly at the face of a young Gryffindor student.

“Sit. No talking.”

He instructed plainly as the figure hesitantly sat in the closest seat to the door, nervously glancing back at it waiting for more students so he wouldn’t be the only one in the room with, Professor Snape. Soon enough something answered his prayers and countless Gryffindor and Ravenclaw students walked quietly into the door, sleepy-eyed, and nervous. This allowed him to snap back into reality, seeing the faces peer around the classroom, refusing to look into his eyes too long. Talking quietly to themselves, constantly shooting glances back at him and silencing themselves at once.

But he ignored this daily routine, as his eyes and mind lingered on the now open doorway to his classroom. Then, she walked in, along with a few more students, who had been unlucky enough to have missed all the seats in the back and middle of the room.

So, he watched her and the others take their seats in the front row. She, right in front of his desk. Her eyes were somber, her (h/c) hair slightly unkempt but still tamed. She refused to look at him, as she pulled out her potions book, notepad, and quill, and doodled aimlessly in the rims of her page.

It took a strong will, to make sure he didn’t study her for too long, but he pulled his gaze away and rose from his desk, flicking his hand to the doorway which slammed shut in reaction.

“Go ahead. Get out your cauldrons, you all are seventh years you know what to do. Don’t make me wait”.

Bubbling and clanking filled the room, along with the voices of your fellow peers as you all had finally woke up. You wiped steam from your forehead as your cauldron bubbled an aqua blue. Your friend beside you handed you some peeled Agave leaves, and you dropped the gooey texture into the mix and watched the bubbles stick to the sides of the cauldron.

Footsteps walked towards you from behind, your heart raced in unease as you felt the penetrating stare, yet again of your potion’s teacher. You don’t want to confront his cold attitude, so you don’t look at him. He plants himself at your side and peers into your liquid judgingly.

You, sir the liquid gradually and look up at your friend who gives you a nervous smile which you return.

Severus says nothing, although he lets out an approving grunt before walking to the table next to you considering their brew.  You breathe out, great. At least you didn’t disappoint him. You thought as you picked up a vial filled with gooey green liquid. You didn’t know if you could handle it if you had…

It would have been just too much.

“Stop.”

You froze and watched the others around you continue to leave the classroom as they looked back at you sympathetically.

“Stay.”

Your friend stood with you for a moment before getting a repulsed look from the professor.

“See you soon” they whispered before giving your arm a soft squeeze as they slipped into the hall.

“You were completely distracted during today’s lesson.” You relaxed and turn to face him, feeling somewhat annoyed.

“I wouldn’t expect such carelessness from a student like you. Ms. l/n..”

You look into his eyes and shrug your face unable to fake any concern or care in response to his words.

He studies your face, looking uncomfortably long into your eyes, making you avert your gaze many times. However, each time you did he took another step towards you attempting to reclaim your attention.

“You should also know better than to sneak around the castle at night.”

Your eyes darted open. You took a small step back and stared at the professor with obvious fear. “I- I’m sorry professor I- I had-“

He rose his hand in silence and you closed your mouth on command like a puppet. This made you additionally aggravated.

He said things, relating to how disappointed he was and how you should be more respectful when you thought about the key event of last night, the reason you walked outside.

You shot him an unsympathetic glance and his voice paused mid-sentence.

“How long were you following me” you demanded.

He looked down at you as if he was bored and without looking away responded snappily,

“Long enough to know that there is more your concerning yourself with than a simple potion.” You sat down. You merely dragged a chair from beside you and plopped down into the chair holding your head in your hand, looking Severus with wide dazed eyes. He awkwardly stood in place, neither of you knew where to carry this confrontation.

“Why-“your voice trailed softly. The room had grown stuffy and quiet.

Abruptly Severus towered over your slumped body and looked down at you hollowly,

“No parent should talk to their child that way...” he says bitterly as he stares into your eyes with an unrelenting blank gaze. “I’m sorry your muggle, a father doesn’t grasp the importance of you being here. As if he could have done such a thing himself”. The man cleared his throat and looked towards the back of the room behind you.

“Just because your father is an utter waste doesn’t mean that-“ You raise your hand frantically towards him shaking your head, “Stop. Stop. Just stop.” He halts. You let out a forced pained chuckle and run your hands through your hair securely. “He’s not usually that way he…is not well...” your voice cracks, he raises his eyebrow and stiffens his posture as he impatiently rubs his hands together.

“Stop making excuses for his poor parenting...girl. He obviously-”

“No…seriously…he- he isn’t’ always, himself…”

You interrupt weakly, now staring into the wooden surface of the tabletop. You close your eyes and take a deep breath in.

“My father has a bipolar disorder…his mood swings are extreme and terrifying…He- isn’t always, a complete dickhead…” you croak softly, forcing tears at bay while your throat tries to close in on itself.

Severus looks down at you, his fury washes away, in an instant instead replaced with sheer unease.

“He’s been getting worse…especially since he hasn’t been exactly, always taking his meds like he should…” You murmur as you raise your eyes towards Severus who looks lost in his own head.

You look back down at the worn, dented wood of the table and dig into its surface with your fingernail.

“He…isn’t. It isn’t his fault...my parents are getting a divorce, he feels all alone and I can’t be there for them, I can’t do anything to help him, I can’t… “

You feel a warm heavy press on your shoulder.

Your heart spikes in reply.

“It’s ok” he whispers softly, “Understood”.

You look into the deep dark eyes of the man in front of you, this wasn’t the Severus you were used to…

An hour and a half, you sat in his office and talked to him about your frustrations and the daily struggles you deal with your family. He doesn’t challenge your words, instead; he listens carefully, refusing still to look away from your distressed face.

After feeling too weak to talk anymore, the room is filled with an eerie silence once more. You grow restless and fidget. Yet, the soft stare of Professor Snape gives you some unexpectant ease.

“So please professor… dodon't have me kicked out…” you chuckle tensely as you give him an unexpectant smile which startles him as much as it does you.

His established manner doesn’t cease to impress you nor does it cease to taunt you. You look at the straight expression on his face and still sense the emotion bubbling behind his deep brown eyes. The same feelings of adoration you feel periodically seems to edge forward as he sits down at the seat next to you, filling you with downright panic as he looks at you with his calm steady eyes and still lips.

“I will do no such thing”

“If only you come to my class periodically as a make-up for breaking school rules…despite the reason...” he says steadfastly. You nod your head in agreement and gradually push back your seat.

“Tell Minerva that I needed you to stay after class if she asks.”

“You can go…but come back later tonight to help me sort out the new ingredients…after sunsets. Understand?”

You nod your head once more and rise from your chair, with an unintentional lax smile.

You quickly fix your expression and blush as you turn your head away from him as you hurry towards the door.

Severus digs his fingers into the cloth of his cuffs tugging at the black fabric as he watched the ends of your mouth smile only for a second.

“If you don’t come Ms. l/n. I must rethink being so remorseful for your actions”. He forced out bitterly, trying to keep his commanding composure.

“Yes, of course…and thank you, professor…” you turn around in the doorway, your face hot with embarrassment.

” for…being here for me and actually willing to listen”

You shut the door behind you.

Severus’s gaze transfixed where you formerly stood. He couldn’t believe what he had just heard, he didn’t know how to react…for a second he thought that this was bad…that now you thought you could rely on him you would try to use him, perhaps think you were better than others and had a free pass…but then again, he didn’t see that in your eyes. He saw a hint of something he didn’t exactly want to see because it made things even more difficult. One thing was sure and that was that he would continue to keep an eye on you. After what you had confided in him today, he…had too.

He stumbled up from his chair and sighed in relief as no one in the room saw him do so, he rubbed his thumb over the tip of his chin and slowly walked back to his desk and sat down.

“y/n…l/n…”

he muttered under his breath as he grabbed an empty vial and tossed it around in his hand.

He discreetly continued to repeat your name softly to himself as if trying to discover something.

Even if it wasn’t appropriate for him to realize it.

[hallowsnothorcruxes]

The Castle on the Hill

So @dragon-in-drag I’m your secret Santa and this is your Christmas present! I hope you like it! Have a wonderful Christmas!

Christmas holidays had just started and only a few students remained in the castle.

Snow was falling, his phonograph played happy tunes in a corner and the christmas lights in his private rooms were merrily switching colours, while Albus got dressed for dinner.

Perhaps he would take a walk through Hogsmeade later, stop by at the Hog's Head and see if Aberforth would have a drink with him. Or maybe Horace would convince him to visit the Three Broomsticks with Armando.

He turned off the phonograph and put on his hat, ready to head towards the great hall, when Fawkes appeared and settled on his shoulder. Albus smiled at him. "What have you got here?" He took the piece of parchment from his beak and unfolded it.

It was an old map of europe with red spots and crosses sprinkled all over it. Confused he furrowed his brows and turned the map around. Fawkes snuggled his head against Albus' cheek comfortingly.

Merry Christmas xxx GG

For a few long moments he just stared down at the familiar, messy handwriting. A thousand thoughts rushed through his head, before he looked at Fawkes again.

"Where have you been?", he murmured, turning the parchment back to examine the route of the red spots.

They started in scotland, led to denmark and halted at a cross in greece. From there they went to bulgaria and lithuania, to a cross in sweden. Then down to hungary and finally they stopped at the biggest cross in the middle of germany.

He traced the line with his fingers, when he heard a knock on his door and Horace bursted into his rooms. "Albus, what is taking you so long? The children are waiting and Armando doesn't want to start dinner until everyone is there."

Horace smiled at him broadly and Albus reciprocated, if less enthusiastic. "I'm sorry, Horace, do give my apologies to Armando, but I have to leave the castle for a few days."

Horace looked surprised. "What for, if I may ask?"

"An old friend sent for me. I won't be gone for too long."

Horace sighed dramatically. "I will hope so. I want to toast with you on New Years Eve."

Albus gave him a smile and bid him goodnight before he started packing a small case with a few things he would need. He apparated from Hogsmeade to Newcastle and got on a ferry to Kopenhagen.

He didn't know what he was looking for exactly, but when he arrived at the harbour he was met by two broad young men in dark blue velvet robes, which were held together by a big silver button in shape of the deathly hallows sign.

They escorted him to an old mansion, where dozens of young boys and girls dueled, wearing the same shade of blue.

Upon meeting them, he discovered that they were all lost children and they all thought to have found a home among the others.

A girl of 15 told him that her parents had been killed by a muggle explosion during the first world war and that she had left Durmstrang, because some boys had harassed her and nobody had done anything about it. A man in a blue robe had picked her up in Stockholm and brought her to denmark, where she was living with all the other homeless teenagers now.

A 17 years old boy had run away from home after his father had beaten his squib brother to death.

And another young man had just finished Durmstrang and was extraordinarily scared of dying ever since he had survived a crash on a muggle train two tears ago.

There were more. So many more. And they all talked with the same fierce defiance about their cause. About the Greater Good.

He flooed over to greece the same night and found himself in an old muggle factory. A lot of wizards of all nationalities were brewing potions and tending to wide fields, where mandrakes and gillyweed and wolfsbane and much more was growing.

He spent one night in each bulgaria and lithuania in saloons, where witches and wizards in the familiar blue robes met, discussing hierarchy and muggle culture. They used the term Greater Good rather often, but never mentioned the hallows. It made him cringe and the others looked at him skeptically, some even aggravated, but nobody ever tried to hurt him.

In sweden he was shown a farm with dragons and acromantulas, giants and trolls, while he met a group of young children in Hungary, none of them older than 8. Each one of them traumatized and each of them with their own caregiver. A little girl asked him to read her the story of the three brothers and his heart almost stopped, when he took in the sight of her blonde hair and brown eyes and the burned marks on her arms. When two small boys got into a fight, one of them exploded in a cloud of darkness and it took his caregiver half an hour to reach him again at all.

From Hungary, a carriage pulled by thestrals brought him to Germany. They landed deep in the black forest. The coachman opened the door for him and left silently as soon as Albus got out of the carriage.

Alone then, he looked around curiously until a pair of hands covered his eyes. "Merry Christmas", a deep familiar voice whispered close to his ear. He grabbed Gellert's wrists, but didn't pull them away. "Come on." Gellert kept his eyes covered and slowly led him through the forest. He didn't know, why he let it happen. He could've stopped it. But then again, he had traveled across half of europe, following Gellert's call, he was pathetic already and - as ashamed as he was to admit it - he liked the steady feeling of Gellert's warm body close behind him and the thrill of adventure that had overcome him.

When they stopped and Gellert took his hands off of his eyes, they stood in front of a grand, apparently new castle. It was made of light stone with three high towers and many windows and ivy that covered the facade.

He turned to Gellert and froze the second that he looked at him. He wore a blue robe, too and his hair was still blonde and curly, but it had lost its warm gold, looking almost icy now and it was cut in a horrible manner. His face was still beautiful, but it was not the boyish kind of beautiful anymore, he had clearly grown out of that. Everything about him seemed to have gotten sharper, colder and more defined. It was a different kind of handsome, but Albus - despite himself - felt rather attracted to it.

"What is this?", Albus asked, keeping a straight face, gesturing towards the castle.

"Your Christmas present", Gellert replied, smiling in satisfaction.

Albus raised his eyebrows. "You give me a castle?"

"I built it for you. Well, I made workers build it, but I financed it and designed it and all that. Do you like it?"

Albus glanced over his shoulder at the castle and then back at Gellert. "You built me a castle?" He didn't even know how to feel about that, it was just so absurd.

"You've gotten slow, Albus." His eyes were twinkling in amusement. "That happens if you continuedly surround yourself with people far beneath your abilities."

Albus shook his head slowly. "I don't have a present for you", he said dryly. Gellert started grinning. He nodded towards the heavy doors and opened them wide to let Albus in.

The hall was vast with a wooden floor and moving pictures across the walls. There was a small desk and a cabinet with flowers on it and a hall stand and it was all flooded with bright warm light from a chandelier. A house elf took their cloaks and another one led them to the dining hall.

Dinner was extraordinary. Albus had to admit the house elves did an even better job than the elves at Hogwarts and when Gellert opened the first bottle of wine, Albus raised an eyebrow.

"What are we doing here?", he asked.

"Having dinner", Gellert replied innocently.

"I haven't seen you in years. I heard what you've been doing and those things aren't very flattering. You sent me across the continent to give me a castle for Christmas. Forgive me, but don't you think that sounds rather ridiculous?"

Gellert smirked. "I remember a time, when you were a rather funny man." He pushed one of the glasses in Albus' direction.

Albus shook his head, but took it anyway.

"I do not see the purpose of my being here."

"This is your castle."

"And what would I do with a castle?"

"Live in it?" Gellert proposed raising his glass in cheers, before taking a sip. "I remember - when we were young - you wished for a castle. You wished to be king, the leader of a revolution." He spread his arms. "I'm giving it to you."

Albus took a big sip of his wine. "I am very happy to be teaching, nowadays."

"You can teach! Teach the children. You've seen them in Kopenhagen. It's so hard to find good teachers anyway."

"I don't want to teach them how to be warriors in your war. I want to help them."

"These children don't have a home. Many of them thought to have lost all purpose in life. I am helping them."

Albus chuckled, emptied his glass and leaned forward to look at Gellert. "What is this about?"

"I want you to join me. I want you by my side, like we had always planned. I will give you everything. I am giving you this castle. You can do whichever work you want. You want to alter some of my resolutions? I'm willing to listen."

Albus shook his head. "No."

"Just think about it," Gellert waved his hand nonchalantly and filled up their glasses again.

"I don't need to think about it."

Gellert sighed. "Fine." He stood up and sat down right next to Albus again. "Stay the night then."

"Why would I?" He felt the alcohol taking its toll on him and Gellerts proximity far too welcome.

"Because you want to." He let Gellert open his tie. "You traveled across the whole continent just because of a letter that had my name on it. How very telling."

Albus smiled, taking Gellert's hands that now started to slowly unbutton his waistcoat. "In favour of the entire wizarding world. Someone needs to keep an eye on you."

Gellert let out a laugh. "Keep telling yourself that." And then he kissed him, intoxicatingly slow and Albus couldn't help, but surrender to it.

They ended up in the ridiculously large bed in the master bedroom and didn't fall asleep until early morning.

"I missed this," Gellert murmured into his hair, when they woke up around noon the next day. Albus smiled sadly, pressing a kiss to his collarbone. "This is not real, you know."

"Is it not?"

"No. You're still you and I'm still me. This doesn't change anything."

"You could still join me. We could have this everyday."

"Or you could give up your plans and we could have this everyday."

Gellert chuckled. "I'd be worried, if I thought only for one second that you really think I would do that. I am going to change the world."

Albus propped himself up on one elbow in order to look Gellert in the eyes.

"One can change the world in many ways. If you continue your violent path, I will stop you someday."

Gellert laughed, putting a hand on his cheek. "No you won't. Do you want to know why? I have shown you all of my most important installments, we spent the night in the same bed, unarmed and yet you have done nothing to harm me or prevent me from pursuing my goals. You still love me, you're still attached to me and that is why you will never be able to bring yourself to go against me."

"You underestimate me."

Gellert touched his lips ever so slightly. "It's a shame. You waste all your potential when we could be so great together." He caught his gaze. "I am sorry about your sister."

At that Albus' face closed off and he sat up to withdraw himself from him. "Wait!" Gellert sat up, as well, grabbing his arm. "I never meant for that to happen. She deserved so much better. But it was an accident. I understand that we needed separation for a while, but why shouldn't we start all over again now?"

Albus closed his eyes for a second, then turned around and put a hand on Gellert's cheek. "You're right. I love you, I don't know what needs to happen for me to stop loving you. But there is so much that you don't understand." He swallowed and kissed him one more time, before he got up and started putting on his clothes again.

Gellert sighed. "This is still yours, you know. If you ever need an escape, this will be here, the elves will be waiting for you and if you ever want to contact me, you will find a way to do so here."

[the-kryomancer]

Embers: Magicwatch AU

Warning: angst; death; mentions of fire; people die; really angsty; for god’s sake why did I write this much angst.

The sound of childish giggling was heard as the front door opened. A young blond boy, no more than seven, ran into the house in a fit of giggles. He looked out of the doorway.

“Bye Sydney! Bye Mrs. Lowe!” He waved to the pair and closed the door. He continued to giggle to himself as he made his way farther into the quiet home. “Mum!” Jamison shouted, bouncing his way into the kitchen. “I’m home!”

His mother looked away from the dishes she was cleaning and smiled when she saw her son. Her hair was a dark brown color with seemingly uncontrollable curls (opposed to her son’s straight and spiky blond hair; he does look like father) and her eyes were a bright auburn.

She chuckled at her son and bent down to his level. She grinned at his mud caked face and used her thumb to wipe away some mud under his eye. “Looks like you and Sid had fun.”

Jamison nodded vigorously. “Loads! We played in the mud!”

“I can tell,” she giggled. His mother stood and grabbed a clean rag before putting soap and water on it. She knelt down and pressed the rag to his face. She started to clean off the drying mud when Jamison began to pout. She gave him a knowing look. “Jami, do you know wha’ your father would say at dinner if your face wasn’ clean?”

“A clean face is one less thing to wash ‘fore bed.” Jamison mumbled.

“You’re so like your father.” She laughed and kissed his clean forehead. Jamison cracked a smile and stood still as his mother finished cleaning his face.

As she finished they heard the door open.

“Sara! Jamison! I’m home!” Jamison’s father shouted from the entrance. He closed the door and traveled into the kitchen where his family was. He was greeted by Jamison running up and hugging his leg.

“Dad! You’re home!”

The grown man looked down at his son and laughed before patting his son’s head.

“Mundy Fawkes, you’re jus’ as messy as your son!” Sara exclaimed at the sight of her husband. Mundy looked down at his body. His hands, shirt, and pants where coated in a thing layer of flour; his shirt had dried dough on it and his hair was slightly singed.

Mundy shrugged and walked over to embrace his wife. He kissed her cheek and chuckled when he heard his son make a gagging noise. He reached over to ruffle Jamison’s hair.

“So, love—” Mundy looked back at his wife, “—what’s for supper?”

Sara hummed and looked into her husband’s dark yellow eyes. “Chicken and vegetables. Sound good?”

Jamison nodded and bounced on his heels. “With biscuits?”

Sara nodded. “With biscuits.”

Mundy smiled. “I’ll help.”

Sara looked down at Jamison. “Jami, go tell Mako we’re getting supper ready.” The small boy nodded and ran out the back door to the farm behind the house.

Jamison stopped at the wooden fence and rested his arms against it for a moment to catch his breath. After a minute he climbed over the fence and landed on the grass of the farm. He jogged over to a large brown barn. Next to it was a coop for chicken, and right in front of the barn was the pig pen. Jamison walked up to the pen and looked through the railing at the biggest pig.

“Hey, Bessie!” The pig looked up at him. Jamison pulled an apple out of his pocket and tossed it to her. Bessie nibbled it happily. “Bessie, have you seen my uncle?”

“Jamison!” Called a voice from the barn. Jamison frowned as the large man exited the barn. His white hair was pulled back into a ponytail and his clothes had mud and grass on them.

“Uncle Mako! There you are!”

Mako walked over to his Godson and picked the boy up before sitting him on the railing. “You know you aren’t supposed to be here.”

“Mum wanted me to tell you that they’re makin’ supper!” Jamison swung his legs. “We’re havin’ chicken an’ veggies an’ bread!” Mako chuckled—more like snorted—and smiled. His sharp bottom teeth protruded through his smile.

“That sounds delicious, Jami.”

The walk back to the barn was full of Jamison’s giggles and chatter as he told Mako about his day.

They reached the house and Mako brought the young boy inside. Jamison sat on Mako’s shoulder’s, and much to the pair’s amusement Jamison’s head almost touched the ceiling.

“Mako!” Sara gasped at the sight of her small son on the shoulders of her giant friend. “He could fall.” Her tone had a light trace of amusement, and Mundy didn’t even attempt to hide his grin.

Dinner started and the four sat the the dinning table. Jamison put his chicken and vegetables between two slices of bread and ate it as sandwich. He ate it messily as he told his mother and father about his day between bites.

“An’ then Sid an’ I made a swing an’ played on the branches! An’ we went into the forest! It was loads fun, mum!” Jamison rambled out quickly before stuffing his face.

“Jamison, the forest is dangerous! I thought I told you not to go in there,” his mother scolded. Jamison hung his head for a moment.

Mundy scoffed. “Love, you don’ ‘ave to worry. I went into the forest loads when I was Jami’s age. It’s jus’ curiosity.” He shifted the topic of conversation. “Sara, you’ll neva guess who came into the bakery today!”

“Who?” She asked as she ate a spoonful of corn and peas.

“Gabriel Reyes.”

Jamison listened intently to the conversation. He’s heard that name and a few others mentioned in the house before. They were “important people” according to his father.

Sara looked up from her plate. “What would he be doing in our town?”

Mundy shrugged and took a sip of his wine. “Dunno. Said he had important business here for King Merlin.”

“What’dya think it is?” Sara asked.

He shrugged. “Didn’t ask. ‘Sides; it’s not our business.”

“Stay away from Reyes,” Mako spoke up. Sara and Mundy looked at their friend in surprise. Jamison glanced up at his Godfather. They all found it strange; Mako usually stayed silent during supper. “He’s bad news. Last thing I need is for him to drag you into trouble.” He spoke directly to Mundy but glanced at Jamison as he gave the warning. The young boy couldn’t help but feel the instructions were for him too.

Mundy scoffed. “He can’t be that bad. The kingdom seems to trust him.”

Sara put a hand on Mundy’s shoulder. “If Mako says to stay away from Reyes then you stay away from him.” She looked at Mako. “How do you know Reyes is bad news?”

Mako sighed and looked at Jamison. “How about you go upstairs to your room? You have to finish your book for school.”

Jamison nodded and got out of his chair. He picked up his cup of water and ran up the stairs leaving the adults to their conversation.

It was late when his parents came to put him to bed. Mako can in and said goodnight to him before going to his own room. Sara and Mundy walked in after Mako left. Jamison was jumping up and down on his bed. Mundy caught his son mid-jump and laid him on the bed. Sara giggled as Mundy tickled Jamison to the point he was dying of laughter. When the young Pyromancer was tuckered out enough. Sara approached him with a stuffed pig.

“Squeally! Jamison cheered and took the stuffed animal from his mother. He laid on his back and smiled tiredly at his parents.

“Do you want to sleep with me and your dad tonight? Or with Mako?” Sara asked. She sat down on the bed and ran her head through his hair. Jamison shook his head. “Are you sure, Jami?”

“I’ll be alright, mum.” Jamison smiled at her. Sara beamed down and kissed his forehead.

“Do you remember what tomorrow is?” She asked him.

His eyes lit up. “Uncle Mako’s birthday!”

“That’s right, my little spark,” she kissed his cheek. “G’night Jami.”

“Night mum.”

“G’night Jami.” Mundy said as he walked over and kissed Jamison’s forehead.

“Night dad.”

They left Jamison’s room and the candle beside his bed went out. His parents went to bed slightly worried about their son.

Jamison sat up quickly, tears running down his cheeks. It was another nightmare.

He took in his surroundings and realized everything was on fire. “Mum! Dad!” He screamed and ran for his door. He opened it and the hallway was on fire. He ran to his parents’ room, the flames parting for him as he ran. When he reached the room Jamison opened the door and was horrified to find his parents engulfed in flames.

“No!” He ran over and the fire disappeared for a second to reveal their bodies before igniting once more. He was about to run out of the room but before he did Jamison spotted his dad’s wand on the dresser. He grabbed it then ran down to his Uncle’s room. Unfortunately, he was met with the same results. He cried.

Jamison ran out of the back of the flaming house. He heard some people from the town.

“Quick! Put out the fire!”

“We have to get them outta there!”

He stopped for a second. He could stay with Sidney and his family. They’d take him in. He couldn’t just leave his home.

No, he thought to himself. I killed mum and dad and Uncle Mako. They’d all hate me.

Jamison ran again. He ran into the forest.

He never stopped running.

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[funkymeihem-fiction]

He Don’t Mean It- Chapter 3 (A Meihem/Zaryahog fanfiction)

(AUTHOR’S NOTE: I’M SORRY OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE.)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11563764/chapters/26447322

“Well. It seems now we are both in dog house.”

Zarya was, to both of their surprises, the first one to speak. Junkrat was too busy staring dumbfounded after Mei’s retreating figure, until even his keen night vision could no longer make her out and she was truly gone. A distressed little gurgling noise was the only sound he could seem to wrest from his throat, while the larger woman next to him wiped at some of the crusted blood below her nose before she sighed and folded her massive arms.

“I hate it when she is mad at me,” she said, sounding surprisingly resigned. “She can hold massive grudge for weeks.”

The verbal dam holding back the junker’s words finally seemed to break, and they came out as a torrent. “Ya think I don’t know it, russki?! Oh, this is bad. This is real bad. It’s over, ain’t it? I’ve come a gutser.” He dragged both hands down his swollen and battered face, black nails digging into his bruised cheeks. “It’s like you said, she can hold a grudge. But this is more’na grudge. She ain’t gonna forgive me, is she? This isn’t like those other times, like when I leave the toilet seat up or forget when the mission dates are or when I put that confetti bomb in her undies drawer. She’s mad as a cut snake! This is gonna be Goodnight Irene!”

“Er,” Zarya frowned at him unsurely, unable to really keep track of his rapid train of thought or his Australian slang. “…Yes?”

“I knew it! And not just her, they’re gonna come take away me best mate too! Gonna take him away, reprogram him in the head. Not gonna let ‘em! I knew we’d have to scarper even from this place, one of these days! Don’t worry, Roadie, I’m gonna get you outta here even if I gotta roll your big arse the whole way through.” He limped over towards one of the messy shelves, heavily favoring his right side with the ribs he still wasn’t sure were broken or not. They felt broken. It hurt to breathe, but there were more important things to worry about. Like pulling out a battered brown suitcase from under it and starting to shove seemingly random bits and pieces of metal and tools into it. “I knew goin’ legit was never going to work. What about Mei, though? Ya know what, w-we can grab her too. Swing by, grab her up. She’ll be mad at first, but she’ll understand! She’s real good at understandin’, eventually. It’ll be like old times. We’ll grab her and go, head out on our own again.”

Zarya rubbed the bridge of her nose with two fingers in clear exasperation. “Are you suggesting in front of me, that you are going to kidnap my friend after almost killing her already?”

Junkrat guffawed, pausing from shoving things into his get-away kit. “Well, when you say it like THAT it sounds a little harsh!” He thought for a moment, tapping at his pointed chin. “Okay…I’m startin’ to think that things might have gotten a bit away from me, here.”

“You could try saying sorry, if you even know the concept. That is what good people do. But then, you would not know, you are not good people. I do not know why she tolerates junkers like you,” she sneered down at him. “Talking of kidnapping her when you should be groveling for forgiveness?”

There was a low moan from Roadhog, who shuffled beneath the layers of chains around him. Junkrat tilted his head to the side, brightening slightly. He snapped his mechanical fingers, a spark popping between the metal digits. “Groveling! That’s an ace idea. Who can stay mad at a grovelin’ rat, right? That’ll melt her frozen heart for sure! Here, sounds like Roadie’s starting to wake up. Uh. Well, you already proved you won’t rat on us, even if that’s mostly because you’re a bit of a fuckhead. Anyhow, the chains should hold and you’re a brick shithouse, you stay here just in case he tries to get out again. You can take him, right? I’ll go after Mei!”

“No you don’t!”

She lunged, but the junker slipped right out of her grasp like a wriggling fish, somehow managing to vault up and out of her arms in a wiggle of limbs and a customary storm of cackling. She may have been able to best his frenzied bodyguard and there was no doubting her strength, but strength mattered little when trying to hold onto Junkrat and was like trying to wrestle with a greased-up weasel. Before she could try again, he was already out the door, laughing and flailing his way out into the night. With a low curse under her breath, she righted herself against the door frame and almost moved to follow him. But the rattle of chains behind her made her pause. Roadhog was trying to move again, thrumming a low baritone noise as his massive arms strained at his bindings. She tensed, sending one last glare after Junkrat before resolutely slamming her hand onto the door controls. They bolted shut with a mechanical whir and the clank of its locks, and she stared the enormous junker down from across the room.

The irritating rat man was right about one thing, at least. This Roadhog could not be allowed to get loose, and she was the only one able to stop him. At least until Mei would no doubt be bringing the cavalry to both handle the transgressions of the junkers, and for her to be chastised and punished for being foolish enough to ever get involved.

The beast in the pig mask was looking at her. The dark, blank lenses may have hidden his eyes and whatever else lay beneath, but she knew he was looking at her. She saw the faint movement of his fingers down by his sides, sinew and bone tightening and clenching into a fist that was no doubt locked around her neck in whatever dark thoughts such a man must have harbored inside all that silence. She lifted her chin, merely stepping forward and staring down at him without fear, gaze narrowed.

“So, svin’ya. Now it is just you and me…”

***

Junkrat scampered across the dark base, the metal clatter of his peg leg obnoxiously loud as he made his way through the common areas and towards the dorms. He was more than relieved to see that Mercy’s clinic area remained dark. Maybe he still had time to change her mind before she woke everyone up and set the whole damn base against his best friend. He was less heartened to see that she really had been bleeding more severely than he’d thought, and a pang of uncharacteristic guilt rippled through him when he saw there were drips and splotches of red that marked her trail all the way down the halls towards her little room. Perhaps it was a good thing he’d come to check on her after all.

The sharp rap of metal against metal rattled her doors. There was no answer at first, and his next knock was a bit more frantic, leaning up against it to whisper a loud, rasping “Mei! Mei, you arroight in there?”

There was the very muffled sound of a beep within, and a moment later the door whooshed open in front of him. She had made an attempt to scrub away the blood from her head wound, though her pajama shirt was still sopped with dark liquid on one side, and she was holding a baggie of ice to her temple. She didn’t seem surprised to see him, but didn’t seem particularly happy about it either. When she spoke, her voice was still cold and dangerously formal. “…Mr. Fawkes.”

So he’d been relegated back to the icily polite use of his last name. Owch. At least with his newly mangled features, it wasn’t hard to disguise his wince. He managed a lopsided grin, waving both dirty hands. “Don’t worry! I ain’t here to kidnap you or anything nefarious!”

She squinted at him. “Where’s Zarya?”

“Left her back with Hog. Figured she could beat him up again if he tried to get out. Clever, eh? Are you, uh, you feeling all right?” He took a quick puff of breath, tentatively reaching out towards her ice bag. “Lemme see it? Maybe I could help w-”

She moved back from his grasp. “No. No, I’m not feeling all right. I’m still mad at you. And someone I thought was my friend tried to kill me.”

“Could ya…not be mad at me? Actually, okay. You can be mad at me, but not at Roadie, that ain’t his fault!”

“And someone else decided that he this was a situation where nobody needed to interfere, and he almost died too,” she said, staring him down.

“I arready said I was sorry!”

“No you did not, Jamison Fawkes! You never say you’re sorry. And I’ve gotten used to that. But even a sorry isn’t going to fix this. This…I can’t just ignore this.” Her voice went to a sudden high pitched almost-snarl, before quickly shushing herself and looking down the hall to make sure they weren’t overheard. She lifted a hand to her face wearily, looking torn. “I’m going to change into some fresh clothes, and then I’m going to see Dr. Ziegler. She’ll know what to do.”

Junkrat’s eyes widened. He reached out again, and again she pulled away. “Ya can’t! Ya can’t do this to us, darl. This was all…This was all just an accident. Bad things happened to Hog. I dunno what, but they were bad and sometimes they get to him and for a while he ain’t himself. But that ain’t his fault. It ain’t never his fault. I don’t get mad at him for it, just like I don’t get mad at you for what happened to you. Just because Hog gets mad and punches at things, and you stare off into the nothing and cry, that ain’t your faults. I’ll help you both!”

She looked a little more pained, but he couldn’t tell if it was the head wound or frustration of their little spat. “Jamison, this isn’t helping. I know you think you’re helping, but you can’t do this. Mr. Roadhog doesn’t need to be chained and locked up, he needs help. Dr. Ziegler can-”

“Doc Angelface don’t understand. She’s not a junker. But Hog’s my best mate. The only one I got. And I’m not gonna let this place reprogram my only best mate’s brainmeats. Or mine. I know you don’t think much of that, but s’truth. Yeah, see, I know that little side-eye you give me sometimes. You think I don’t know the radiation’s cooked my nut, and my nuts?” He tapped the side of his scraggly head, then made a lewd gesture downward. “I know ya think we’re crazy! Fockin’ ‘ell, I know we are crazy!”

Mei was quiet for a long minute, gaze slipping down to the floor and the little smears of blood puddled beneath them. “I’ve…I’ve never said that…”

“But we ain’t something to be fixed. You can’t fix everything, love. I know you try, but you can’t.”

Anger and frustrating was starting to win out again, and he could see tears gathering in the corner of her eyes, even as they narrowed at him and her voice quavered. “I’m not saying you’re just some crazy person to be fixed. And neither is Mr. Roadhog. I don’t want you to think that that’s how I see you. Please, I just…I don’t want this to be happening. We can tell the doctor. It’s not reprogramming or fixing, and it might save both your lives, and maybe my life, and your teammates’ lives. It’s just helping! We just want to help you!”

He was about to snap back some retort when she pulled the ice pack away from her head. Blood matted her hair, and he could see the deep bruises and gashes in her head where Hog’s spiked and armored fist had thrown her across the room like she was nothing. His reply died away and he reached out to her again, this time to touch his fingertips to the wound. She grimaced at even the lightest pressure, quickly replacing the numbing ice.

“We both need to see the doctor anyway,” she said softly. “I’m fairly sure I have a concussion and you…Jamison, look at yourself in the mirror. You’re hurt. You’re really hurt and he almost killed you in front of me. And I couldn’t stop him. Neither of us could stop him. If Zarya hadn’t arrived when she did, who knows what he was capable of? He could have woken up after accidentally killing us both.”

“Nah, wouldn’t have let him hurt ya! I mean, this time…he…” He glanced to the bloody ice bag, trailing off before trying again. “Hey, we both been through worse, yeah? And you. Maybe you can help me. And I guess that purple-haired bint since she knows too. She can be our muscle, fightin’ the other muscle. We had a little accident here, but-”

“Jamison, your face is broken in several places and you’re missing at least one tooth!”

He waved both arms in the air. “-An accident here or there! But what’s a tooth or two between mates? We can prepare better next time. More chains, more traps, mebbe pilfer some more of Ana’s darts…That’s a good idea, ain’t it Mei? Me and you, we’re helping him together. That way I don’t have to do anything ridiculous, like choose between ya!”

Her brows furrowed. “W-we can’t do that, Jamie. I’m trying to tell you, we can’t do that. I know what you’re trying to say, but we have to do the right thing and get help. And why would…” She seemed a little choked up suddenly, but Junkrat attributed it to her head wound. Head wounds were strange, maybe it was giving her a snotty nose. “Why would you think I’m asking you to choose between us? Are you…already choosing between us?”

Alarms were starting to go off between his ears, and he thought back to Zarya’s words. Grovel like a good person. Maybe groveling would work. So he dropped down to one knee as gallantly as possibly, though he wobbled slightly on the squeaky-jointed upright peg and held one arm aloft to her, babbling aloud, “No! No, see, I don’t wanna have to choose between my best girl and my best mate! That’s a hell of a place to be, isn’t it? So we’re not gonna do that, are we? Did I say I’m sorry yet? You said I never say I’m sorry? I’m sorry, Mei. I’m real sorry about what happened, and I won’t let it happen again. He don’t mean it. I’ll take the blame. That’s good, right? Come on, darl, I’m sorrying my arse off here, what can I do to make it better?”

His attempts at an apology seemed to be having the opposite effect. She lifted her other hand to her head almost to clutch it in seeming chagrin as she looked down at him. “Wǒ bùnéng zhèyàng zuò…I can’t…I have to do this. I have to do things the right way, even if Mr. Roadhog hates me for it, even if you….”

“No…Darl, no, it’s gonna be okay. You said you wanted to help? You can still help!” He pressed his metallic hand to his chest, still wobbling a bit on his bent peg. “I’m sorry and that’s good, right? You and me, we can figure out anything. We’ll think of something together, yeah?”

“I’m sorry, I’m trying to make you understand and…I can’t…”

“No! No, you can! We can!” He was staring to sound a little more desperate than he would have liked. This was not working as well as he’d hoped. Maybe he wasn’t groveling in the right way. Maybe he needed to get on both knees, and beg her like he’d begged for his life so many times before. “Roadie’s gonna be back to his old self by the time we get back. I’ll make some tea, we can talk it over like real civilized legit folks do, yeah? We don’t need to bring the damn monkey or his bureaucrats into things. Look, I know your head hurts real bad right now but it’ll all look brighter in the morning. I’ll take care of you. Swear it, I’ll do anything for you.”

She wouldn’t look at him. Why wouldn’t she look at him? And why did that hurt even more than his bruised jaw and broken ribs? She kept staring at the floor, at that one little puddle of brownish-red. “Jamie, please…”

“I was just talking. Earlier, when I said that rot about choosing between you and Hog. It was nothing! You know me, I just say things, I got a gob on me a mile wide. Verbal diarrhea! Sorry, sorry, I know you don’t like the word diarrhea. I’ll be more careful with things, love, promise you. No. No, please don’t cry. Is it your head hurtin’? I got painkillers and Roadie’s hogdrogen huffers back at the garage. No? You worried about Russki? She’s fine. Hell, I’m more worried about Hog in that case. Er. Is it because I’m all beaten about? It don’t hurt much, I’ll be healthy as a brumby in no time at all.” He scratched at his tufted hair, mind racing. “Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out. Between you and me, we always figure it out. We go together, you and me…b-because we…”

She meant too much to him. He was certain it must have been love, or at least what he could understand of it from the songs on the radio and how reverently it was spoken of in the theater. It was something that didn’t exist back in the wasteland he’d clawed his way out of, but he knew that if it was what he thought it was, it would be her. Everything about her made his heart scream at the thought of losing her. He needed to tell her that this couldn’t end things between them, what he would do to keep her. How badly he wanted and needed her by his side for whatever time they both had left, how much he loved her smile and her little laughs and even her angry pouty faces, all the times he’d spent going over every moment of them getting to know one another, trying not to forget a single thing, how he could lay in bed next to her and revel in the soft touches of her body until he died. How he couldn’t even envision life never being able to make love to her again, or go back to a life without her.

The words he wanted to say turned backwards and ran into one another and jumbled up on his tongue, bubbling and spewing out of his mouth like crude oil out of a broken pipeline before he could do anything to stop them. “B-because I can’t imagine not being able to fuck you!”

Time seemed to screech to an abrupt halt. Mei’s jaw dropped open as she finally looked at him. She seemed stunned, expression blanking as the two of them stared at one another. In his head, Junkrat could hear the pieces dropping all around him, little metallic noises as everything fell apart. It all broke at once, pieces of words and feelings laying shattered all around him, rolling about his feet and falling into the holes in his brain. He stared back at her, his eyes drifting apart slightly, before he could rally enough to try and make sense of the hopeless mess inside his head. “Wait! That’s not what I m-”

With shock still written all over her features, she slammed the door in his face.

[notconclusions-blog]

I remember Gil taking his penis out on the corner of Nevada and Minnesota. There was a strange misunderstanding in which I thought he was going to give me his hoodie, but instead he unzipped his jeans and pulled down his briefs. We both looked at it for a minute. Then I kissed him goodnight and walked home. 

I remember Guy Fawkes day. 

I remember tying my curtains back with organdy ribbon. 

I remember Sarah reading The BFG to me while I took my bath one evening. 

I remember Limited Two. 

I remember Lisa Frank. 

I remember my shoes always being untied in the fifth grade. 

I remember eating a strawberry its-its for breakfast. 

I remember crying so hard I got the hiccups. 

I remember drinking an alcoholic root beer at Rock Bottom. I remember it being called “Coney Island.” I didn’t even get buzzed off of it (a huge disappointment).