#favourite tin can (affectionately)

[couldsewyouastitchandsavenine]

din djarin would never.

[g4l4xy-qu33n]

Stanford Pines SFW Alphabet

A/N: Pretty much what it says on the tin. These are all my personal opinions and headcanons of Ford, so please don’t come at me saying that somethings not entirely canon! No use of Y/N, and reader is written with female for the gender in mind, but no genitalia or body type is specified, so technically reader can be interpreted as anything.

warnings: pretty much just your basic sfw alphabet fluff, with a tiny bit of smut if you squint

(sorry if this wasn’t formatted correctly, I’m not that sure how to use tumblr properly yet-)

proofread by nobody (and I think the tense changes a bit)

enjoy this brainrot I guess-

<3

Mostly SFW Alphabet for Stanford Pines

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Ford is VERY affectionate. (More often when he’s tired since he mostly just expresses his feelings through physical touch, and not words.)

Ford shows affection through:

Hugs from behind with his hands wrapped around your waist. He would also kiss softly into your neck with a small smile on his face.

When laying in bed, (when he actually goes to bed), Ford would make sure you face him and then he would proceed to slowly kiss you until you both fell asleep, lips still touching.

Cuddles. This man loves cuddles. Give him cuddles.

If you fell asleep while he was working (on the couch in his office) he would get the most fluffy blanket he can find and tuck you in. He would also mutter a lot of really sappy stuff into your ear he would never admit to saying while he pet your head or caressed your side. This is why you pretend to fall asleep on his couch a lot.

He just randomly hugs/kisses you when he can during the day.

He also would tuck a stray bit of hair behind your ear when he notices it’s out.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Being Fords best friend (and SO) would have a lot involved in it. For example:

Having to listen to his rambling about random science stuff. (You love it tho)

Having to drag him away from his work (literally) when he pushes himself too far and forgets about basic human needs

Having to comfort and stand up for him when he gets bullied about his hands/fingers

Having to help him build his boat (the Stan’O’War)

Having to comfort him after Stanley left, telling him that his brother doesn’t hate him etc.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

As I said earlier, this man LOVES cuddles.

He loves any sort of cuddle position, but spooning will always be his favourite. He likes being the big spoon and smelling your hair (he loves the smell and would sometimes steal your shampoo just for the smell.) He would never admit this, but he also likes being the little spoon, because he feels protected and loved.

His other favourite cuddle position is when you are facing each other and he can kiss you, with one of his hands on the side of your head. 

He liked it when you two cuddled and you were lying on top of him with your head on his chest.

A cuddle position he REALLY wants to try is him lying on your chest. Also your lap. He wants to lie on your thighs and get head pats, he’s just too embarrassed to ask. If he were to ask he’d immediately flush pink, start stuttering and putting his hand on the back of his neck.

He’d also love it when you sat on his lap while he worked, but would get ‘annoyed’ (not really) after a while because he has work he needs to do. Eventually he’ll pick you up and carry you to bed (if you fell asleep or not, it doesn’t matter), but grab onto him when he puts you down on the bed and he’ll give in and cuddle until you both fell asleep. You would have to let go if he really has A LOT of work to do. (like build an interdimensional portal a demon told him to build)

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Ford wouldn’t exactly jump at the idea of settling down and having a family, but after a bit of persuasion he would MAYBE adopt a singular kid. Ford knows that he wouldn’t be the best parent, and that he’d probably accidentally ignore them.

Fords skill in cooking isn’t the best, and he usually relies on you to cook meals. If he had to cook, he would either make a frozen microwave meal or something simple like Mac and Cheese.

Cleaning however, Ford would always be the one to clean. If you even so much as pick up a cleaning supply, he would yank it out of your hand and do whatever you were going to do. The only cleaning he would let you do is the dusting. Ford has a dust allergy and will start sneezing uncontrollably. 

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Even though Ford would hate to do it, if it was necessary it would have to be done.

Ford would probably bring you flowers or chocolate or a stuffed animal of your favourite animal as a goodbye present.

After telling you the bad news, he would most likely just burst into tears and try to get away from you, because it would hurt him too much.

If there was a way to get into a long distance relationship with Ford, he would literally jump at the chance.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Ford doesn’t trust people very easily (obviously, with Stanley and Bill)

He would take a while to propose and commit to marriage, again because of his trust issues

Once it happens however, there is zero going back (unless it absolutely HAS to happen)

Ford would do a small proposal, probably in front of the portal for a cool sciencey aesthetic.

He would probably bring you down there after a fancy candlelit dinner (most likely at greasys diner, which he funded to get it fixed up and made a little more romantic for your guys special night)

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Ford can look quite intimidating, with the weapon almost constantly strapped to him and all, but if you get to know him and grow close to him, he would become really soft and cuddly and overall tenderhearted.

Before you got to know him, Ford would be quite hard emotionally, and wouldn’t like physical contact, and he would also be quite tough and rude, maybe even a bit violent if you rile him up (like he is with most people he doesn’t know). Once you get to know him however, he becomes quite soft with his emotions and get flustered quite easily.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Ford is a sucker for hugs, you hug him and he pretty much melts into your arms (unless he’s quite busy).

Ford tries to hug you as often as possible, wether it be while you’re cooking and hugging from behind, or just a quick hug while he’s working, Ford takes every chance he can for a hug.

Fords hugs are amazing. Since he’s quite strong, (spending 30 years travelling through dimensions and fighting monsters does that to a person) and tall, he has an obsession with picking you up while you guys are hugging, and spinning you in a circle and most likely ending it with a kiss. 

When hugging, Ford likes to drag them on quite a long time, unless of course he’s busy.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

As said earlier, Ford has severe trust issues and anxiety, and will need to get his trust up to be able to say verbally that he loves you. 

The first time Ford said it was in college (Backupsmore), in your shared dorm after getting a little tipsy. You were lying in bed holding each other close and kissing each other wherever you could reach. You kissed him, and a sleepy Ford whispered “I love you.” Then immediately passed out. He acted like he forgot the next morning (he definitely remembers). This is a moment that you hold dear to your heart, and being able to hear those words again while Ford was in the portal was pretty much the only thing keeping you going. (Damn that got dark- also lil’ mini fanfic)

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Ford doesn’t get jealous easily, but he can if:

Somebody flirts with you. (If the persons drunk or not, Ford would come over and roast the shit outta whoever it is.)

But yeah, Ford doesn’t get jealous very often.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Fords kisses are amazing. They’re so good you could easily kiss him forever with no breaks

His kisses vary from really rough (with tongue and teeth) to just a soft peck on your cheek or forehead

Ford could spend at least a day just listing his favourite places to kiss you (everywhere) and why, but here are his personal favourites (in no particular order) :

Lips (obviously). He thinks your lips are super soft, no matter how little lip balm/chapstick you use

Forehead. He likes giving you forehead kisses because they’re quick and he’s tall, so your forehead is easily accessible for his lips

Hands. He loves hand kisses, because there’s so many places on your hands he can kiss. There’s the knuckles, palm, the back of your hand, the list goes on.

Stomach. This is rare, but when you two are cuddling (him on top of you), he loves lifting your shirt up just a bit to kiss your stomach area.

Ford likes receiving kisses just as much as he gives them, since they make him feel loved and cared for.

He loves to get kissed mostly on his face. Like lips, cheek, forehead, jawline and neck. 

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Let’s just say, Ford is indifferent about children. He loves them (especially if they’re his) sure, but he thinks kids are just so much work and get in the way of his concentration and scientific discoveries. Especially babies and toddlers. 

If you two were to have kids, he would still love them unconditionally, but he would most likely end up ignoring them, and leaving all the parenting for you to do. He doesn’t mean to hurt either of you if he does this, and it’s always partially or mostly an accident.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Mornings with Ford are usually rushed, since the both of you would have work to do you.

He still tries to cherish mornings though.

If he wakes up before you, then he likes to sit and watch you sleep (not in a creepy way).

He WILL NOT get out of bed until the both of you are awake, just because he likes spending as much time with you as possible.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Nights with Ford vary from stressful/chaotic to calm and relaxed.

Stressful nights are the nights that he’s working a lot, meaning that you’ll probably have to go to sleep hugging a pillow or go and physically drag him away from his work. The latter will be hard, the man’s heavy and determined to work.

Calm nights with Ford are the ones you both cherish the most, since they’re not very frequent, because he’s always busy.

On calm/relaxed nights, the two of you just cuddle and savour the time with each other.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

As said many times, Ford has horrible trust issues, and will not tell anyone anything personal about his life until he trusts them. Not even his last name.

If you are close to him and he trusts you, then he will start opening up about things slowly. Very slowly.

It took him months to prepare himself to tell you about Bill, and most of that time he worried about what you might say about him or think of him.

When Ford is hiding something, he becomes distant and only gives vague answers in response to questions.

It’s very obvious to you when Ford is hiding something because of this.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Fords patience levels are quite high actually, being a scientist and all.

He does easily snap though, if someones pushed him too far. 

It’s very rare he snaps at you, since he loves you and is aware of triggers and past trauma that you may have. He mostly just yells and snaps at his brother, because of too many reasons to list in a singular post.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Since Ford’s a busy man, so he doesn’t remember every single little thing you tell him, sadly.

He does however, remember the important things, like your birthday or your favourite of something (food, drink, song, place, etc.)

Since he can’t remember much, don’t question it if he writes in a little notebook while you talk to him about something.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Ford cannot choose a favourite moment in your relationship. There’s just too many! But if he had to pick, these would be his favourites:

He loves the time you told him about your feelings and he told you about his, and you shared your first kiss on the half finished Stan’O’War. (Stanley ruined the moment by going “ewwww” though.)

Ford actually holds one moment in his heart and thinks about it every day:

When, after 30 years of not seeing each other, you kissed him, and held him and cried happy tears onto his shoulder.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Although Ford is very scared of losing you, he doesn’t protect you all that much. The only things he really protects you from are Bill, and how dangerous Bill can be when in his mind.

He would protect you any way he can, at one point he even considered you getting a metal plate installed in your head just to protect you.

Ford doesn’t feel like he needs protection exactly, only support and love from family and friends. 

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

It really depends on the task if Ford actually puts effort into it.

When it comes to dates with Ford, it’s usually just a nice meal he’s had help with cooking, and then watching your favourite movie or show.

Your anniversary is usually the same sort of thing, but he really splurges with a gift. It’s usually your favourite flowers or chocolate or a plushie.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Ford has a few bad habits. Some of the more notable ones are:

Overworking himself. This one is the most common of all of his bad habits.

Not taking care of himself/ignoring his basic needs. Usually when Ford’s working, he will forget to eat, sleep, drink water, shower and even use the toilet. You will have to remind him to do these things, or else he will die. Man’s like a sim sometimes honestly.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

If you think this man would be concerned with how he looks on a daily basis, think again. (He literally uses fire to shave, what did you expect?)

If you two were to go on a date or something important however, he takes a little more time than usual to get ready.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

The easy answer to this is yes, Ford does feel incomplete without you around.

He would and has admitted this before when you asked him why he was so desperate for cuddles one night.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Now I know this isn’t exactly a headcanon for Ford specifically, but this extra space will be for what the Pines and others think about you and Fords relationship.

Stanley

Now Stanley’s opinion on his brothers romantic life isn’t really that bad. In actual fact, Stanley could care less about Ford’s love life. The only thing he dislikes about it is the fact that his nerdy six-fingered brother gets the girls, and not him, the ‘cooler’ one.

Dipper

Dipper doesn’t really care about you guys being together, as long as it doesn’t get too much in the way of science. He does like you though, because you guys can rock out to Icelandic Pop Sensation BABBA together, and there’s also one more person to play D&D& More D with.

Mabel

Now (as everyone knows), Mabel is a shipper. Mabel is obsessed with the fact that her great uncle Ford is in a relationship, because of many reasons. She has someone to go to relationship advice for, she has someone she can organise dates for and she has someone to just obsess over and ship. (She’s maybe too obsessed, sometimes.)

Soos and Wendy

I put these two together because they have very similar opinions on the relationship. The opinion is: they really don’t mind that you two are together. Of course, Soos is excited and happy for Ford and you, and Wendy just likes it because she gets ‘a cool new old person friend’, but neither don’t think it impacts them that much.

Fiddleford McGucket

Fiddleford is actually very happy for the two of you, and has been since college. He’s happy that you two have been together for so long (unlike him and his wife), and calls it true love. He was Ford’s best man at the wedding that happened after college. (It wasn’t Stanley because, well you know, the Highschool Science Project Incident.)

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Ford will accept you for whoever you are, wether you’re bubbly, bouncy and easily excited, or dark, quiet and withdrawn, (or literally anything else) he will love and respect you. There’s only one type of person he wouldn’t date, and that is a bully. Someone who makes fun of others just because they can. Someone like the Sibling Brothers (from the Lost Legends book), or Crampelter and his friends.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

No. Just no.

Man doesn’t sleep, like at all, and he’s a very light sleeper anyway.

If you were actually to get him to sleep, I think you deserve an award. 

Ford always only sleeps 4 hours maximum at a time, and constantly has nightmares that he wakes up from. 

He also struggles to actually get to sleep (or get back to sleep) in the first place.

[toomuchracket]

witching hour (dad birthday party!matty x reader fluff)

this is my fave promptober fic so far. hanging out with your seventeen year old, referencing practical magic... what's not to love? enjoy <3

the feeling of one of the cats brushing against your bare ankles shocks you out of the little trance you didn't know you’d fallen into, lulled into a stupor while rinsing soap suds off the dinner plates and listening to matty gently play the piano in the living room. looking down, you see it's giselle pawing at the faux fur on your slippers - of course it is, because eloise will doubtless be asleep on top of the piano, as close to matty as she can get.

you can't really blame her for that, though, can you?

giselle mewls, a sound that turns into a purr when you scoop her up into your arms and twirl her around, a poor imitation of the dancers in the ballet amy named her after. “is it dinnertime, baby?” you coo at the cat. “is that why you're bothering me? yeah, must be,” you gently set her down on the floor, wandering over to the cupboard with the tins of cat food and grabbing a couple to open. eloise pads in when you're laying hers and her daughter's bowls down, affectionately head-butting the other cat before they both tuck into their food. you smile as you leave the room. “be nice to each other, girls.”

the music gets louder as you turn corners towards the living room, its increasing intensity matched by a hint of cinnamon scent; you spot the candles matty must've lit on the coffee table as you enter the room, flickering flames working in conjunction with the warm glow from the lamps to make the concrete feel cosy. the light catches the silver in your husband's still-thick hair, curls more grey than they are dark now, and you can't stop yourself from burying your face in them once you reach him - he's stolen your shampoo, again, but you resolve not to bring it up. you've always liked matty using your things like that, glowed at the thought of him going about his day smelling like you, marked as yours; the latter is probably why you find yourself beaming at the sight of his wedding ring, glinting in the candlelight as his fingers dart across the ivory.

“hi, darling,” the smile in his voice is audible even with your face hidden in his hair. you feel it on your temple when you move to rest your head on his shoulder, arms wrapping around his chest as he kisses you. “y'alright?”

“mhmm. song's nice,” you close your eyes, letting the unfamiliar melody wash over you. “is it yours?”

“yeah. just an experiment,” matty nods to the sheet music shelf, where his phone sits recording the sounds. “might become something, might not.”

“i think it should.”

“yeah?”

“yeah. s'pretty.”

“maybe it should be about you, then. pretty melody for the prettiest.”

“oh, shush,” cheeks burning, you hide your face in matty's neck. he laughs, resolving the melody with a final couple of chords, before clicking the recording off and closing the lid over the keys. “did i make you stop? i'm sorry.”

“i'm not. c'mere,” matty shuffles the bench back, patting his lap; you slink between your husband and the instrument as best you can (making a mental note to remember that description and use it as some sort of allegory later), settling atop him and clasping your hands behind his neck. his meet behind your back, and he beams, that same smile you fell in love with. “i love you.”

“i love you,” you smile. “wanna make out?”

matty laughs, your favourite sound in the world. “amy still not left work, i take it?”

“what's that got to do with anything?”

“well, i'd rather avoid another bollocking from our seventeen-year-old about us necking in front of her, if i'm honest.”

“oh, please - she wouldn't even be here without us necking,” you roll your eyes as matty cackles. “but yes, she's still at work. ri's dropping her home tonight.”

“in that case, then,” matty crashes his lips onto yours, sighing into your mouth when it falls open in contentment; you whine into him when his tongue flicks against yours, instinctively grinding down onto his lap. the force almost sends the two of you flying backwards off the piano bench, and matty has to grip the piano itself to stay upright. he laughs against your lips, pulling back - he's wild-eyed and out of breath, and he's maybe never looked more beautiful. “couch?”

you nod, kissing his nose. “couch,” you move to climb off your husband, but he has other ideas; you squeak as he swivels on the seat and stands, lifting you with him and crossing the room to the sofa with ease. admittedly, you're dropped quite unceremoniously onto the cushions, but you're well-used to matty's gracelessness after all these years together, and the way he climbs on top of you and kisses you desperately, fiercely, sloppily… you won't complain about anything as long as he keeps kissing you like that, and he does, until you're forced to break apart just to take in some pesky oxygen. he rests his head on your chest, and you twirl a curl around your finger. “you know, i really think sofa snogging is my favourite type of snogging.”

“sofa or shower, yeah,” matty hums. he turns to look up at you, smirking. “same goes for sex. and we haven't had sofa sex in a while, darling…”

you're unmoved. “yes, but we shower-shagged less than five hours ago, matthew.”

“and? i could go again.”

“could you?”

“yeah! three rounds, non-stop. m'serious.”

“baby,” you giggle, scratching his scalp. “you've never been able to do that with me.”

“s'your fault, that.”

you frown. “how?”

matty smiles, right hand sneaking under your (well, his) jumper and kneading gently at your tit; when his thumb brushes over your nipple, you whimper, and he moans. “you're too fucking hot, darling. can't help giving you everything i've got.”

“i like it when you do that.”

“and you take it so fucking well,” his voice is lower, breathier, sexier, and your resolve is wavering. “come on, sweetheart,” he coos, pushing the sweater up enough that he can flick his tongue over your nipple, humming into your soft skin when you moan. “let me fuck you.”

fuck it. “alright, let's-”

the front door slams. “mum? dad?”

matty groans into you, sorting your top and sitting up; you follow, biting back a giggle as you climb onto matty's lap and position yourself as innocently as possible. “we're in the living room, munchkin.”

“‘kay,” there's a sound of a bag clattering to the floor, fabric rustling, two loud thwacks as - presumably - your daughter kicks her shoes off; she pads into the room a minute or so later, hunching slightly forward in the way she inherited from matty, a surefire sign of their tiredness, and flops onto the armchair opposite you. she sighs, and then her pretty face - are you biased if you say that, given that it's basically the same as yours? - twists in disgust. “eww, you're snuggling.”

matty hugs you tighter. “yeah, and?”

“and it's weird when old people do it.”

you open your mouth, but matty beats you to a response. “my god, you're in the door less than two seconds and you're already being ageist,” he sighs, faux-dramatically, and amy smiles in spite of herself. “old. your mum's still in her forties!”

“not for long, though,” amy fires back; she winces when she sees your raised brows, though. “sorry, mum. let me retract that - you're still young, dad's a cradle robber, etc etc.”

“a five year age gap isn't cradle robbing, amy.”

“methinks thou doth protesteth too much, father.”

“for fuck's sake,” matty facepalms. he flicks your nose. “that's all you, that. sarcasm, and shakespeare talk,” he turns his attention back to your smirking daughter. “why are you so snarky tonight, anyway? that time of the month?”

“jesus, dad, no,” amy shakes her head, shuffling to further curl up on the chair. “work was just a bit shit. m��just frustrated, i s'pose. sorry.”

you wave insouciantly. “we've all been there, munchkin, don't worry about it. was today that big party you were telling us about? for the new exhibition?”

“yeah, it was massive. so much stuff sold that i was just on the desk the whole night putting in orders.”

“really? wow,” matty traces little patterns on your leg. “must've been good stuff, then.”

amy shrugs. “dunno, the stuff i saw was shite. reckon it's more just people jumping on the bandwagon of this guy cos he graduated top of his class at parsons, and that apparently means he's the next big thing,” she rolls her eyes. “just another white guy who thinks he's basquiat resurrected, if you ask me.”

matty cackles, face settling into the proudest beaming smile you've ever seen. he nudges you. “we've really done such a good job raising her, haven't we?”

amy rolls her eyes again; she can't keep the little smile from her face, though. “you're really weird, you know, dad. and sappy.”

he shrugs. “it works for your mum.”

“gonna ignore the use of present tense there,” your daughter peels herself from the chair, stretching as she stands. “and leave you two to your… canoodling. i need a shower.”

“alright, darling,” you hold out your hand as she passes you, smiling when she squeezes it. “there's some dinner left over if you want it.”

“what kind of dinner?”

“lasagne.”

“my favourite!” amy gasps excitedly, running back in and kissing your head. “you're a legend, mum,” smirking, she ruffles matty's hair. “you're alright, too, i s'pose.”

“love you, munchkin,” he calls after her as she speeds through to the kitchen, then rests his head on your shoulder. “she's so cool.”

“well, she's half me.”

“oi,” matty lightly pinches your thigh. “i was there at her conception too.”

“oh, i remember,” smiling, you kiss him, a quick little peck that still manages to make your heart race. “will you play that thing you were playing earlier, please?”

“only if you sit beside me,” he kisses back. “i'd miss you if you were all the way over here and i was over there.”

“my sweet little codependent angel,” you coo, laughing when your husband rolls his eyes. “of course i'll sit beside you, my darling.”

that's how amy finds the two of you when she returns to the living room over two hours later - sat as close as physically possible to each other, your body curving towards matty's while he plays, both of you murmuring lyric ideas to each other and editing them together in real-time. most people would find that adorable, you think, but not your seventeen-year-old. she makes a retching sound, plopping herself onto the couch. “you're still canoodling? wow.”

“we're working, actually,” matty retorts, resolving the melody with a final chord and swivelling round to face your daughter; you do the same.

her brow furrows. “on a saturday night?”

you shrug. “why not?”

“s'pose,” she picks a bit of fluff from her leggings with a sigh. “at least you're doing something. i dunno what to be up to, to be honest.”

you move to join her on the sofa; she snuggles into you the same way she's done since she was tiny, and matty smiles. “no parties tonight?”

amy shakes her head. “nobody wants to go out, either,” she sits bolt upright, big brown eyes widening in panic. “not that i ever go out out, y'know, but-”

“chill out, ames, your mum and i both snuck into places before we were eighteen,” matty joins the two of you on the sofa, throwing himself down on amy's other side. “well, i did. mum was probably too much of a swot to bother.”

the two of them giggle, and you stick your tongue out at them. “you didn't know me back then, matthew. i could've been wild.”

“but you weren't, though, were you, mum?” amy pats your arm sympathetically (and only mildly condescendingly).

“not really. but i made up for it,” you swat at both of them in a feeble attempt to stop their giggling. “your dad can testify to that.”

“really?”

“oh, yeah,” matty grins. “your mother's yoshed in more plant pots than anyone else i've ever met. speaking of,” he stands. “anyone want a drink?”

amy thinks for a second, then nods. you nod, too, an idea popping into your head; you tap your daughter on the leg. “d'you remember when we watched practical magic the other week?”

“yeah.”

you grin. “we could do midnight margaritas. well,” you check your watch. “quarter-to-eleven margaritas. if you guys want.”

amy's eyes light up; so do matty's identical ones. “can we actually?”

“yeah, we've got tequila,” you think for a second, looking at matty. “we do, don't we?”

he nods. “i bought that bottle for the boys coming over that nobody actually opened, remember?”

“oh, that's right,” you grimace. “george drank all my fucking vodka, ames.”

she giggles. “did he pay you back for it?”

“yeah, auntie charli sorted him out,” you stand, holding a hand out to each of your loves. “shall we?”

as he stands, matty grabs amy's other hand, yanking her up between you the way she used to beg you to do when she was little. she giggles, swinging her arms as you lead her and her father to the kitchen. “remember when i used to insist that we walked around like this everywhere?”

“of course. i miss it, to be honest,” you smile, pulling her into a half-hug when you enter the kitchen; matty wraps his arms around both of you. “but i accept that it's uncool and a bit fucking weird to be holding hands with your parents in public when you're nearly eighteen.”

matty sighs, the sound muffled by amy's hair. “eighteen. you were a baby five minutes ago. a little baby, trying to tell me that no, then because she goes was not in fact my song, it was mummy's, because she used to sing it to you and i didn't,” he lifts his head up to grin at you, while amy giggles. “why did you go for that one, by the way?”

“she was crying and i was just like ‘oh, please don't cry’ when i was trying to get her to calm down, and then i thought fuck it and started singing,” you shrug. “and it worked, so…”

“aww, mum,” amy rests her head on your shoulder. “that's cute. i didn't know that story either.”

“one of my favourite backstage memories, you pestering your dad about why he was singing my song.”

the man in question leans round to kiss your cheek. “i was mostly just flattered that someone mistook my writing for yours, to be honest. only time that's ever happened,” he leans round the other way to kiss your daughter's cheek. “thanks for that, munchkin.”

she pats his arm. “i wish i could say anytime, but…”

you and matty practically collapse into giggles, moving to turn the huddle into a proper group hug. moments like these are your favourite, spent laughing with the people you love most in the world; of course, there's one thing that would make it better. “right,” you wriggle out of the hug, moving to grab the tequila and glasses. “time for a drink. ames, could you grab some limes and cut them, please? but do it off-centre, they're easier to juice.”

matty protests. “i could do that! why are you getting our baby to hold a knife?”

“statistically, she's less likely to injure herself doing that than you are, darling.”

he blinks for a second, then closes his mouth. “probably true, actually,” he kisses your cheek. “i'll get the ice.”

“thank you,” once you're done salting the rim of the glasses, you plug in the blender and look over to your daughter. “you doing alright, amy?”

“mhmm,” she brings the bowl of lime juice over, just as matty drops ice into the glasses and moves to stand beside you. “wait. do you know the rhyme?”

you beam. “d'you want me to do it?”

she grins cheekily, a expression scarily like one of matty's; you can see him smiling out the corner of your eye, too. “yes please, mum.”

“alright,” you clear your throat. “eye of newt and toe of frog,” the tequila is poured, and you ready the cointreau. “wool of bat and tongue of dog,” in it goes, soon to be followed by your daughter's contribution. “adder's fork and blindworm sting, tesco lime is just the thing,” you smile at matty and amy’s laughter, grabbing the tub of maldon flakes. “cragged salt like a sailor's stubble, flip the switch and let the cauldron…” pausing dramatically after you put the lid on the contraption, you press a manicured nail into the on/off button. “...bubble!”

amy cheers, clapping along and elbowing matty until he applauds too. bowing as best you can while holding the lid on the blender, you laugh. “thank you, thank you. i'm here all week,” turning off the appliance, you take the lid off to look at the liquid - the smell makes your eyes water. “oh, jesus christ, that's strong. apologies in advance, ames.”

she smirks. “will we need to get a plant pot ready for you, mum?”

“less of the cheek, you,” a matching smirk appears on your face, and you nod towards matty. “he's the one who can't hack tequila.”

“liar,” matty pinches your hip, smiling into your neck when you squeak in protest. “pour them, and i'll prove i actually can, then, darling.”

“alright,” nudging your husband to move back, you pour the cocktail into the three glasses, sliding one to matty and amy each. “are we toasting?”

“sure. cheers,” amy clinks her glass off yours, then her dad's, beaming. “let the witching hour commence.”

[sufficiently-analyzed-magic]

The Sliding Scale of Eeby Deeby (trademark pending) (not really)

So there's a lot of humans-turned-Pokemon on this website, and I've gathered that you refer to yourself as "eeby deebies" (whatever that means). So as a scientist of the supernatural, I had no choice but to create a taxonomy of eeby deebies.

Note: To fit onto this sliding scale, you have to have once been on either extreme. If you were born as a hybrid/abomination (affectionate), you're a different and yet still incredibly interesting thing yourself. Though the primary definition is those who were once human, those who were once regular Pokemon also technically count by my measure.

On one end of the scale, we have: Normal Human Being. You have not been eeby deebied. You are genetically and phenotypically human.

Now, the next level up is Silent Eeby Deeby. You look human, and you act relatively human, but technically you are part Pokemon. Genotype vs phenotype. Maybe you knock things off a desk on instinct now and again, but you're still human-ish.

And then we start getting into the fun stuff. We're at the skittygirl level. And just general Pokemon traits regardless of gender or species. Whether or not behaviour is affected, you sit at the level of Skittygirl. The level is named Skittygirl because that really embodies what I mean by Pokemon traits. You don't have to be a Skitty hybrid or a girl to count.

Now we have two of my favourite levels. The first here being Hybrid/Abomination (Affectionate). You're an affront to Arceus' design, and we love you for it. No other explanation needed.

And then there is what I call Werelycanroc, or, if you wanna be more technical about it, Shifters. These guys can, well, Shift. Voluntarily or otherwise. They might look normal one day (or they might never look normal), and be a total Lycanroc the next (or they might never fully shift). This level has a lot of variation.

Here we have the levels where you start to look more Pokemon that human.

The Reverse Skittygirl is the reverse of the Skittygirl classification. That sounds obvious now that I type it, but it's essentially a Pokemon with human traits. Occasionally horrifying!

Next is our lovely friend the Talking Pokemon. What it says on the tin. The talking is usually powered by magic but occasionally they just Have Vocal Cords.

The next level is the Intelligent But Can't Talk Pokemon. Also what it says on the tin.

And the final level is Just A Pokemon. No more intelligent than a regular member of their species, usually can't type. Most likely level to be under the care of a Trainer.

Thank you for reading the Sliding Scale of Eeeby Deeby. Note that as it's a Sliding Scale, there's levels within levels and places on the spectrum, so there's nuance to it.

[lemonhemlock]

Hello,

I really love the posts from this blog. It’s a breath of fresh air compared to YouTube and Twitter which is dominated by Team Black stans.

Can we please talk about the ‘Rhaenyra is the best mother’ propaganda going around.

I’m not saying it’s untrue (though I’m personally skeptical) just that I only ever see it being used to denigrate Alicent as though their situations are in anyway the same. Worse still is when these people (Team Black stans obv.) bring in book ages into a discussion of the show canon arguing that Rhaenyra was only 17 when she had her first son and managed to be a good mother. I’m not arguing either woman, or any woman in general in Westeros, is in a good never mind better situation. Only that it’s easy to argue that Rhaenyra is mother of the year when she has like a half dozen scenes with her children that last all of 15 seconds. She only actually speaks to Jace and Luke in the show.

Alicent may not be perfect but let’s think more critically about the result of Rhaenyra’s supposedly Grade A parenting. Jace is violent and arrogant, Luke is petrified and timid. Neither can fight competently, never mind fairly. Jace cannot speak High Valyrian even though he has both Daemon and Rhaenyra around who were both fluent at the same age. And Rhaenyra send her underage son to the Baratheons when she Rhaenys right as a vastly superior envoy (that’s a different far more annoying topic) �� All of this is true even with the buckets of narrative bias working on their favour. There’s a FF trope that Joffrey squired in the Vale, Luke regularly goes sailing with the Sea Snake, and Jace is such a wonderful diplomat. None of which is textually supported but those TB fic writers need desperately for Rhaenyra to look as though she wasn’t just sitting on her ass doing nothing during her stint on Dragonstone.

To me Rhaenyra while probably more affectionate than Alicent; she should nonetheless also be condemned because her selfishness (the reason TB say Alicent usurped the throne for Aegon) puts her children in active danger.

Case in point TB say Aemond needed to be punished because the accusation of bastardy is so dangerous but who might I ask put those children in that situation in the first place? Oh right Rhaenyra.

Additionally unlike Team Green, none of Rhaenyra’s family was truly in danger if she had just capitulated. She’s a woman and the children bastards of the female line. Alicent is there actively counselling Aegon against assassination and conflict. There may have even been a place for her on his small council or she could live out her best Lana de Rey vinyl life and a responsibility free rich lady on Dragonstone (bit rose tinned. I know but not completely absurd)

Just hoping you had some input on this idea that Rhaenyra is an UberMother or even that Alicent is supposedly the worst, most abusive, uncaring parent ever. (This is because she hits Aegon occasionally — but IDK that’s just how boys got disciplined in the past, and why is no one talking about the lack a father figure yet the reason Aegon is a lush is all on Alicent *head desk*)

Thanks

Hi there & thank you for your kind words about my blog. I think the difference in parenting style between the two can be explained due to structural factors, i.e. their social positions & respective privileges.

Rhaenyra is her father's favourite, a princess by blood and has an actual dragon. She's not just any regular Westerosi noble lady. She is THE it-girl. She can afford a laissez-faire approach to child-rearing. She is careless with the paternity of the children. She is oblivious to how she is perceived in court, because, for a very long time, it is not a subject of interest to her, as she just automatically assumes her status and dragon will render that aspect irrelevant ("their views don't matter"). It takes until her THIRD child for her to realise people are gossiping about her and that gossip can be dangerous the more her father is ailing. Because of her short-sightedness, she unintentionally puts her children's lives in danger because she insists on keeping them in the line of succession not just for the throne, but also attempts to steal another house's lands and titles. I have always thought that sending Luke to Driftmark to "rule" would just make him vulnerable to assassination attempts by his disgruntled Velaryon relatives.

Meanwhile, Alicent is terrified that her children's lives are in danger, her father's, her brother's etc. She's not going to be a lax parent, she can't afford that. She grows to be an anxious and dissatisfied adult. While Rhaenyra gets to explore her sexuality and have children she wants with someone she cares about & finds sexually appealing, Alicent is repeatedly impregnated against her will and maritally raped by an old, decaying man. She is always going to have a more complicated relationship with motherhood because of that.

Had Rhaenyra & Alicent been millennial mums living in the contemporary world, they probably would have both done a good job of it, with all the resources & information available today on child development & psychology and with enough wealth to afford appropriate childcare when needed. They also both would have benefitted from superior medical knowledge (so childbirth wouldn't have been a death gamble) and would probably not have been forced into teen motherhood.

[n0-1r]

IVE FOUND SOME

here's some fics i found and my thoughts on them

also they're organised by length

Oneshot, Poly YJ98, implied birdflash, Tim Drake is Robin - Short and sweet, not much else to say. In this fic Conner and Robin pop up in yj98, confusion and then they're out. Not much is really explored between the universes it's mostly just squabbling about Bernard, who is in the polycule.

Unfinished 1 Ch - Pretty good but its unfinished and from the looks of it, seems it'll stay that way. The core four drop in and save the JL and what seems to be the team as well but we don't see much of them. Mostly just young just us flexing and kicking butt so there's not much conversation between people. Just wish it were finished.

Unfinished 1 Ch - It says on the tin 'Zatanna is trying out a new spell and summons the wrong "Young Justice"' so shenanigans ensue. A bit of banter, we get some reactions and conversation between the teams but its unfinished and seems to be dropped sadly.

2 Ch yj98 Timkon yj11 cassietim - Again, it says on the tin and so shenanigans ensue. Red Robin and Superboy fight a sorceress and end up in another universe. Mostly surrounds yj98 Tim and Kon's relationship and the differences from yj11 and there are some good ideas explored. I appreciate the secondary perspective from yj11 tim however the series feels unfinished.

Completed 3 Ch TimKon(Imp), BirdFlash, JayRoy - Multiple times where various couples find themselves in young justice 2011. Mostly surrounds the various relationships. A bit dialogue driven but also the characters are very affectionate, dare i say horny, so watch out.

Incomplete 3 Ch implied yj98 TimKon, Kon-El is Supernova (mentioned for a bit) - Tim and Kon find themselves in yj11 and make a deal with Catwoman and Batman to integrate into The Team to make their way back to their universe. Tim becomes Stray and Kon becomes Prime. Mentions of Tim's physical and mental health and is unfinished. It's currently a favourite on this list

Completed 19 Ch Damian Wayne is Robin, Dick Grayson is Batman Mention of TimKon - Damian is zapped into the Young Justice universe from a piece of alien technology and is forced to work with the Justice League and the Young Justice League to get back. Evidently, Damian comes from that point in time where Bruce is dead and Dick is Batman for a bit. This is a pretty good fic and it looks at the relationship between Dick and Damian.

Incomplete 29 Ch Implied TimKon, mentions of TimSteph, StephCass, every yj11 pairing - Tim washes up in yj11 and integrates into The Team as Alvin Draper/Rook so he can find his way home. Focuses on Tim and Conner as they cope with being in another universe and their own personal demons. There is also a gradual, one-sided Tim/yj11!Conner. I guess TimKon will forever be right person-wrong time

Incomplete 37 Ch - Robin gets hit with a beam and now alternate versions of Robin start appearing. A ton of characters show up like Carrie Kelly, Bruce Jr and Helena so i guess this isn't really like the scenario because Young Justice is only mentioned a few times but it's a pretty good fic. The League and the Team now have to cope with like 10 more Robins, all coming from different universes (so their worlds are going to be very different). There are also appearances from Kara/Supergirl and Starfire. This was last updated a few weeks ago so this may still be updating

PLEASE I NEED THIS ULTRASPECIFIC SCENARIO

the young justice team from the 1998 comics meeting the team from the 2011 show

i've just finished watching the series and there is such a drastic change in basically every aspect

i just need to know what the groups would feel seeing their alternate versions

fic recs are highly encouraged and appreciated 🙏🙏🙏

[heartsofbeskar]

GOOD MORNING

I'm having soft girl dad Din thots... Care to indulge me?

His daughter sat on his knee

Falls asleep against his chest all smug and fisting his shirt

Din tries, tries, to do pigtails - they look awful but she won't let her mom fix it because dad tried his best

Tying her tins shoes for her while she swings her legs all happy

oh lils... forgive the delay on this, i wanted to give this the proper attention. i wanted to wrap up all these lovely ideas into one package somehow and i think i got 90% of them!!

Din cursed.

He had taken on a mudhorn, a Krayt dragon, ice spiders, and Imperial remnants. He was a warrior, a Mandalorian, the best bounty hunter in the parsec. He had won the Darksaber itself from Moff Gideon.

And yet, his daughter's kriffing pigtails were getting the best of him.

She sat patiently on his knees, his armour discarded as it so often was these days, as his hands twisted in her delicate hair, and he worried he was hurting her, but she just continued to swing her legs happily in front of her, humming her new favourite tune while she played with the small metallic ball. It was very worn, now, after years of first Grogu and then Brea obsessing over it.

The hair flowed over his fingers, and he attempted to section it off properly, tying it off near her scalp with the twine you'd instructed him to use. He pulled back, examining his work. They were still uneven — Maker, how were they still uneven? — and tufts of hair had still escaped, gathering at the bottom of her hairline. He let out a heavy sigh.

"I'm afraid your buir didn't do a very good job, cyar'ika," he muttered, running his hands down her arms in an affectionate gesture. "We can have Mommy fix them when she's back from town with Grogu."

She hopped off his lap, fearlessly catapulting to the ground below, dashing over to the floor length mirror on her comically short legs. She giggled as twirled, her lopsided mismatched pig tails swinging to and fro.

"No, buir, I love them!" Din felt a warmth settle within his chest at her joy, continuing to watch her flit around the small house with determination. She grabbed a holopad off of her bedside table, chubby fingers holding tight to as she attempted to climb back into Din's lap. He held her under her arms, lifting her the last bit of the way. "Can you read to me?"

"Of course," he said, placing a soft kiss to the crown of her messy hair. Brea settled against him, nestling her small face into the fabric of his shirt, fingers holding in the material as she soothed herself in the warmth of her father.

You looked down at Grogu as you made the closing steps to home. He was asleep against in the baby carrier, small head falling against the swell of your chest, tired out from the stimulation of going into town — and probably the cookies you'd let him have that Din usually objected to. A small trail of blue crumbs still clung to his chin.

Pushing the wooden door open, you were about to call out to him, to let Din know you were home, but what you saw gave you pause.

Din was sat in the rocking chair, head lulled to the side in sleep. His eyes were closed, breathing even; you loved how at peace he always looked while he slept. Your daughter was huddled up to his chest, and he held her there gently with an arm around her back. His opposite hand held a holopad loosely, and you recognized one of Brea's favourite stories on the display as you gingerly stepped closer. You suppressed a laugh as you examined the state of your daughter's hair, no doubt an attempt by Din to style it.

You pressed a gentle kiss onto his forehead. Here, in your home with your sleeping family around you, your heart felt at peace.

✨

okay oops this was longer than i intended so i might as well add the tag list to this lil ficlet

@the-ginger-hedge-witch @tacticalsparkles @christina-loves @pedro4ever @sherala007 @amneris21 @tobealostwanderer @silverwolf319 @beskarprincessjenny @librariantothejedi @mswarriorbabe80 @beskarboobs @radiowallet @fucktheforce @stevie75 @hellovanessax @a-skov @writerdee1701 @rvgrsbrns @fan-of-encouragement @gaiuswrites @anaaaispunk @maladaptivemando @pedros-mustache @writeforfandoms @artsymaddie @zapsalis-d @lovehappyloki @omgreally @pedrocentric @grogusmum @kyjoraven

[dragonslayer-5fanfiction]

Haikyu Headcannons

I recently got into Haikyu and I love it. This is my time writing headcannons and it’s fun. Also these are some of my favourites from the show, but not all of them. I have more Hiakyu fics coming. Also if you want to be on a taglist, let me know!

Tohru Oikawa:

Lives for rainy days and movie marathons with his nephew

Hates wearing his glasses, but does late at night

He does that thing where you lift the glasses and rub at your eyes when your tired

Melts when you lift them and kiss the bridge of his nose and above his eyebrows

More specifically wears them in a huge alien sweater, those plaid pants while watching a crappy alien movie on T.V.

Watches scary movies if you convince him (pull out the puppy dog eyes) but ends up plastered to your side the entire time

He wants to be tough, he really does

Takes you and his nephew on dates together and smiles at you because Takeru really likes you

It almost makes him jealous

Aone Takanobu:

The best boy ever, seriously he deserves the world

Will blush profusely when you tell him how good he is

The first time you held his hand he almost flinched away, panicked grabbed your hand tighter so you wouldn’t pull it away, and panicked again because he thought he hurt you

He just wanted to hold your hand so bad

You laughed and reassured him you were fine, and he could hold your hand tighter if he wanted

You always wear his spare jersey to his games and it completely swamps you

My mans is huge

You always cheer the loudest for him, and Kogenegawa gets jealous, so you cheer for him too, but not as loud as for Aone

The first time you use his first name, he blushes to the roots of his hair because it sounds so good and just freezes

It takes you several tries to get him to respond, but once he does he smiles for the rest of the day

Brings you flowers he picked and they’re a little droopy and some of the petal are missing, but he’s so cute holding the bouquet that you say thank you and press a kiss to his cheek

You take them and place them in a vase of water and once they were starting to wilt you dried them

He loves to bring you little trinkets that he sees and they make him think of you

Remembers anything you tell him

He can tell when you’re feeling down and brings you things that make you feel better

He also treats you even more like a princess

Lets you decide on what to do

He’s a huge teddy bear

He just loves you so much

Sugawara Koushi:

He will sacrifice anything for you, just say the word

Sick? Misses school. Missing him? Waits for you to fall asleep on the phone, even it means he gets less sleep than he needs

You would do the same tho tbh

Brings flowers for your guardian anytime he comes over, without fail

If it's raining and you forgot your jacket, he lets you stand in the rain for a bit before giving you his

Likes to pinch your side or arm because the way you jerk away he thinks is funny

Very physically affectionate

Always wants his hand on you or some part of you

Holds your hand all time

Hand around your waist, and oops! It slipped to your ass

He won’t move it though

Likes to play footsie with you and when you go to stand he likes to try and trap one of your feet

He thinks its fun

Thinks its fun to call you weird nicknames like: my coffee-poo, gummy bear, or that one sock I love unconditionally

Kuroo Tetsurou:

Also one for weird nicknames

Like he tells you your the 53rd moon of Jupiter or that you’re as important as the red spot on Mars

Also insults you in the weirdest ways

Like one day he called you tin, because your basic

Is always giving you his jacket, whether you’re cold or not

Teases you to no end

But you tease him too

He’s wrapped around your finger, so you get him to carry your purse because he looks funny with it

He complains but secretly loves it

Watches really shitty sci-fi movies and lives for bad FX, LIVES for it

Likes to gently tug on your hair when your walking in front of him

Or just in front of him in general

Brings you over to Kenma’s uninvited and tells you to calm down when you get embarrassed because you weren't invited

He scoffs and says it’s fine, its his house he practically lives there anyway

You sit there and listen to Kenma roast him while they play games

You occasionally toss a volleyball back and forth

He loves when you come to watch him practise, he’s even harder on the team and does his absolute best to impress you

You also love it because him? In charge? Yes please

You have to force him to relax some days, he won’t do it on his own

Those days you show up, shut his phone off and sit on him

He complains so loud, says he’s a busy man, whatever you ignore him 

Anytime he tries to get up you whine and throw a fit, which makes him feel bad so he doesn’t move or get up

He secretly enjoys it because it shows you care about his well being

Eventually he calms down and you let him lay on you as you run your fingers through his hair and talk about what happened that day while a shitty sci-fi movie plays in the background

[clarawatson]

It Only Takes A Taste (3)

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x [Fem]!Reader (GN pronouns, fem coded stuff, but I’m not sure where this is going as a larger work so we’ll say Fem!reader to be safe) Summary: Jack comes for dinner, I guess. W/C: 2345 Warnings: none yet! A/N: this one got a little long, oopsies. AO3 Where am I in this series? 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 |

The bed had been so warm and comfortable you hadn't wanted to get out, but the thought of seeing Aaron again made your heart grow three sizes. You'd been texting back and forth for the last couple of days, just small awkward stuff. He likes to text emojis. He's precious. Of course he's precious. 

He comes in as you're serving your first customer of the night—a sobbing thirty-year-old man who can't even order his pie without spluttering in tears. Is it favouritism to get excited by Aaron turning up? Yes. Is it worth it? Yes. 

"Hello," you smile. There's a hundred things you could have called him, but he's too cute and your brain doesn't want to work. 

"Hi," he grins back. "Can I have a coffee, please. Here."

"Yes you can." Aaron splits his bill between the counter and the tip jar. "How was your day,  Aaron?" 

"Boring paperwork. Couldn't concentrate."

Concern furrows your eyebrow. "Is something wrong?"

"Huh? No! I kept thinking about seeing you." There's that sunshine smile again. You might even match it yourself. He points to the cake that's still in the display tin. He's in earlier in the night than usual, so there's a lot more range to choose from. "Is that carrot cake?" 

"Sure is. Do you want some?" 

"Please." 

You serve him a slice and let the coffee machine splutter and fight with you. He stabs his cake with his fork and looks like he has an out of body experience the moment the cream cheese icing hits his tongue. That's a face you want to see again under different circumstances.

"Joe?"

"Me! And Joe's recipe. I sort of mixed it together and prayed."

"Then mark me a religious man." Aaron smiles. You can't held but smile back at him.

"It's a bit early for you to be in," you say. It's not an issue, just means you got the earlier shift. Finishing at 1am instead of 7am. Plus, Aaron looks nice in the daytime. Very nice. The afternoon light suits him.

"Didn't have a case," he shrugs. 

You've googled him since getting his business card. “Supervisory Agent Aaron Hotchner, Section Chief of the BAU”. The fuck did that even mean? BAU was the Behavioural Analysis Unit, which was still mainly a mystery, but you think it’s maybe just an over-glorified way of saying ‘they look inside people’s heads and hope for the best’. He’s got a handful of news reports that you’ve practically memorised. 

Okay, that’s a little obsessive. Don’t admit that to him. 

He wasn’t the ‘untouched by darkness’ that you’d thought of him before, his work face held all the darkness his smile did not. You hoped you never had to see the serious man who stood before the cameras. 

“How’s Rita?” Aaron asks. He’s cut the top off his carrot cake, saving it for later. He looks at it longingly every now and then, then he scoops just a little bit of the cream cheese and lets it rest on his tongue.

“She’s good. Restless. She’s happy for the due date to arrive.” She’d also asked you to be the baby’s godparent. Rather forcefully, actually, it had felt a bit strange. That was the only reason you hadn’t jumped at the opportunity. You’d do anything for Rita, but saying yes in that instant would had felt strange. Almost… wrong, maybe.

Aaron knows you’re thinking about it. He puts his fork down and shifts in his chair, waiting for you to continue. He doesn’t fill the silence between the two of you. You think about telling him, but then Lola’s bustling through the door and grabbing her apron.

“Hot stuff, when can I go for a smoke break?” is the first thing Lola says to you. She pulls chewing gum out of her mouth (yes, pulls. She sticks her fingers in her mouth and pulls it out as far as it will go without snapping) and Aaron moves his cake around his plate a bit. Does he not like it? Don’t be silly, he asked for it. Requested it. Whatever. You put his three cookies into a plastic bag and slide it across the counter to him.

“Lola you only just came in.”

“But I want to know,” she whines like she’s a teenager with an after school job, not a thirty-five-year-old woman who works at the diner full time. “Hey, Rita’s been acting weird, right? Is that a pregnancy thing, or?” Lola rubbed her nose on the back of her wrist and sniffs. An action you’re all too familiar with by now, and of course she was doing illegal substances in the bathroom before she started her shift when there’s a legitimate federal agent in the diner.

 “Oh,” Lola says as she looks at Aaron. She looks at you, raises her eyebrows, and nods like she’s impressed. “I take back telling Rita she was a liar." Even without knowing the context of Rita and Lola's conversation, you know Rita had told Lola how pretty/handsome/gorgeous Aaron is. "I’m going to go clean some tables.”

She grabs the cleaning supplies and heads out into the dining area. The door swings open, banging against one of the booths, and you’re immensely glad Lola doesn’t scream 'watch it’ at them. A curly haired blonde woman (gorgeous, mind you) touches Aaron’s shoulder and he sits up straight, smiling, and your heart plummets a little bit. Just the tiniest amount. 

“Jack insisted we switch over here before I go to parent/teacher interviews.” As if on queue, a well mannered, sandy-haired boy sits next to Aaron and grins too much like Aaron. Aaron’s son. You can put two and two together. Profiler or not.

“How was school?” Aaron asks. Jack shrugs.

“It was school.” He learnt that from his dad, there’s no question. 

“Well, in that case. Jack, this is my friend Y/n. Y/n, this is Jack.” Jack extends a hand to shake in greeting and looks really shy about it. You shake it quickly so he doesn’t feel like a kid who’s been roped into doing adult things. There’s a pile of colouring-in pages Joe’s printed off at the local library beneath a cup of crayons that Jack’s eyeing off. 

You grab a sheet and a crayon, raising an eyebrow in invitation as you turn around to Jack. 

“Yes please,” he says, grin growing across his face. “Thank-you.”

“You’re welcome. Wonderful manners.” Jack grins even bigger and you think he, too, might combust just like his dad. Stardust! That’s the movie you were thinking of. When Yvaine sees Tristan she shines, literally, the star inside of her just can’t be contained. That’s Aaron and Jack, and the way they look when they smile. 

Aaron’s sister-in-law looks at you with a cocked head, like a curious cat. Like she’s waiting to pounce. But… curiously pounce. Like she's sussing you out. She extends a hand in greeting.

“Jess. Aaron’s talked about you.”

There’s no response but to look sheepish. This seems to greatly please Jess, who smiles softly and rubs the back of Aaron’s head affectionately. They have a long history together, it’s too familial to be just a relationship born through marriage. 

“I’ll see you later then, Rockstar,” Jess says.

“Bye,” Aaron and Jack say together. Aaron rests his cheek on his hand, watching you as Lola hands you three orders she’s taken while you’ve been talking to Aaron. Jack leans over and whispers to Aaron about his homework (it’s a whisper that belongs on a stage) as you wrestle with the coffee machine. 

It’s been grinding it’s way down to not working for a while now. Ever since you met Aaron, actually. Joe’s said he’s going to fix it, or get a new one, but everyone’s in a state of non-commital until Rita has her baby.You’ve got no idea why, it’s just the way things are. Good luck, maybe? Or luck in general? 

Somehow you get Aaron talking about Shakespeare. It might have been Jack’s doing, to be completely honest, but one moment you’re trying to make the froth… well, froth… and the next you're listening to Aaron talk animatedly about Othello. Jack's young enough to not think his Dad's passion is embarrassing. 

"Have you watched Othello?" Jack asks, a question that Aaron's neglected to ask you. "I'm not old enough to yet." 

"I haven't seen that one yet, but I've seen Much Ado About Nothing."

"Is that the one with the olive gardens?" Jack asks. Aaron frowns, eyes searching for the answer in that big beautiful minds tonight.

"Yes," he says finally. "That was the one with the olive trees."

Jack giggles. "There was kissing in that movie." 

"Lots of it," Aaron agrees. You're not sure you're talking about the same film, but it's cute to see the two of them interact. 

"With the guy who plays Lockhart in the second Harry Potter movie?" You ask. Jack laughs just like his father. It's all light and mirth. He nods in confirmation. 

"His name is Kenneth," Jack says like he's familiar with him. When Aaron smiles, you know Jack's his whole world.

It’s not long before Aaron realised he’d brought Jack in without asking if he wanted anything. The afternoon rush had died down, leaving you in the space between out-of-work and dinner. You make the most chocolate-y hot chocolate you can for Jack when Aaron says he can have one. Well, Jack says the best bit is the froth, so it’s more child-size-hot-chocolate-in-an-adult-mug-full-of-froth. Jack loves it. He slurps at the chocolate, which leaves a giant frothy mustache over his top lip that won’t go away no matter how much he licks at it.

When he’s done you let him come around to the kitchen to wash his face, because no amount of wet napkins is going to fix that mess. Jack can’t reach the sink, so you fashion a step out of old milk and bread crates. Joe gives him cake batter to taste before realising that he actually has no idea who Jack is. Aaron watches from the kitchen door with a smile on his face. You don’t catch it until Jack jumps off the crates and takes your hand, leading you back out. Aaron’s fingers brush your hand as you pass him. Electricity sparks between the two of you that's completely unavoidable. The two of you recoil involuntarily.

Aaron gives you a small smile of apology. You give exactly the same one back. Lola legitimately gasps like she too felt the electricity between the two of you. Surely that was just something that happened in movies? Or in books? That’s not a real thing, right? But Aaron brushes past you again, as if he’s making sure as well, and it’s there again. Only it’s like your whole arm becomes pins and needles, not just a quick lightning spark.

If it’s like that every time you’re with him, your not sure you could even go beyond lusting after him and giving him coffee and meals every now and then. Aaron drops his gaze, then follows Jack to the front of the counter. 

They stay for dinner (because Jack insists, he wants the nachos) but the rush comes early and there’s really not much time to talk to them, so you almost miss them leaving. Almost. You’re serving the angry couple at table three (are they angry at you, or each other? Who knows, you don’t, but they’re taking it out on you) when Jack taps your hip. 

He’s very patient as you finish the order (somehow you figure out what they want between the curse words) and bend down to him. He hands you a folded piece of paper.

“This is for you,” he says. “I did it.” You’re about to unfold it, but he insists that it belongs in your apron pocket until you can look at it with no rush. That’s a kid who knows what it’s like to have a very busy parent. So you tuck it away safely and mess with his hair, which makes him grin from ear to ear.

“See you later!” Jack yells as he runs to Aaron, who’s waving goodbye with a doggy bag full of Jack’s unfinished dinner.and his keys between his fingers. 

“I’ll see you later,” he mouths as the noise in the diner starts to rise. Without thinking you blow him a kiss, which he catches effortlessly and kisses the fist closed around it before slipping out. 

When you get to the kitchen Lola’s already in the midst of teasing you. 

“You like him,” she says with all the confidence in the world. There’s not point denying her, so you just nod. It’s met by a chorus of ‘ooo’s which, to be honest, you really didn’t need. It made the diner feel far too small.

When everything dies down you remember the paper Jack had given you. You wipe the milk and spaghetti sauce off the counter, then make sure it’s dry, and unfold Jack’s page. It’s the generic colouring page Joe’s printed out, but Jack’s tried to make the generic waitress look like you. Well, you if you had purple hair and green skin. It’s a start, you guess, there’s an apology from Aaron on the back. Makes it worth it.

You move a couple of postcards on the corkboard aside and put Jack’s picture there instead. Joe pretends not to notice, but when Lola goes out the back with one of her customers, Joe comes round the front and presses a finger to the page.

“Good kid,” Joe says. He nods a couple of times then turns to you. “You know he and his dad come as a package, right? You fuck up one, you fuck up both.” Joe’s first wife had three kids that weren’t biologically his. He’s still mad at himself for not taking the kids seriously and only turning up for their mom.

“I know,” you say. 

Joe strokes your cheek as he passes and kisses your forehead. It’s all the praise you need. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

taglist (if you want to get added, just inbox me, and if I’ve missed you I am so sorry): @willowrose99 @genevievedarcygranger @maryosprinkle @kleff03 @yoshigguk @samanthareid06 @typical-leo @leilanixx

[rwby-diaries]

Happy birthday Ruby!

Our most adorable shooting star is up! Ruby was born on October 31st (kept from CRWBY canon)! She came into the world just a pink little thing, and she stole everyone’s hearts with just one look. Her family loves her so much and so do we!

Line Art by: @bosiphas

Colour by: @data-plays-viola

Ficlet by: @lameclub

Edited by: @bosiphas @yang-diary @data-plays-viola and @thetopazvulpix

Ficlet under the cut!

“Happy birthday Ruby!’’ Different voices all cry out in unison as Ruby stands there with her eyes big and wide.

“You guys shouldn’t have!’’ She says awkwardly - causing Yang tomorrow her eyes and smirk in her direction.  

“Jaune spilled the beans, didn’t he?’’

Ruby scoffs loudly, “Whaaat? How could you possibly assume that our good, kind-natured friend Jaune--’’

“You don’t have to defend me, Ruby. It’s pretty obvious,’’ Jaune says while scratching the back of his head with an embarrassed smile. Weiss rolls her eyes as she walks over, taking Ruby’s arm and leading her in the other direction.

“You can count yourself out of the next surprise party,’’ Weiss says with a pointed look back at Jaune. Ruby giggles before turning around to better keep up with her friend. They begin to approach a round table not that far from them - causing Ruby to let out a giant gasp.

The table is decorated with many different trays of sweets and baked goods - carefully placed in order of colour and type. Ruby turns back towards her friends.

“You didn’t have to do all of this!’’ she says with a big smile on her face as her eyes well up with tears.

Nora giggles, "Ren spent the last two nights making sure every cupcake was perfect, didn't ya buddy?"

Nora finishes the question with a poke to Ren’s ribcage and a smile. Ren looks down at her with a puzzled look on their face, "You only turn 15 once - I don't see why I should hold back." Yang shakes her head as she leans on their shoulder with a smirk.

“We aren’t making fun of ya bud! No need to be self-conscious about the amount you made.

“Anyways,” Yang adds with an even bigger smirk, “Nora’s bottomless pit she calls a stomach will probably eat half of this in like an hour.”

Ruby giggles as she takes a single cupcake and, without an ounce of hesitation, bites into it. The sweetness burst to life in her mouth, causing them to hum in appreciation. “Oh! This is so good Ren, maybe the best thing I’ve ever eaten!’’ She exclaims as she quickly devours the rest of her sweet.

Yang whistles, “That’s a bold statement - considering we grew up around the self-proclaimed 'Best Cook in all of Remnant' - Uncle Clover.’’

Ruby blinks for a few seconds before she laughs in response. “Listen, both are on the same level as the other - actually this reminds me of my 13th birthday,’’ Ruby says happily as she finds herself becoming more distant and lost in thought.

~~~

"Uncle Qrowwww!" Ruby shouts as she jumps onto his arms; he catches and holds her up with ease. "I can't believe I get to spend my birthday with both you and Uncle Clover!" Her eyes sparkle as her legs dangle back and forth mid-air.

"How was the ferry ride from Patch? Hope it wasn't too scary to travel on your own." Qrow questions with a head tilt which only causes Ruby to scoff in response.

"You're talking to a future huntress here, Uncle Qrow - a little boat ride wasn't gonna scare me," Ruby says with a big smirk on her face before she continues "Besides I barely ever get to see you guys these days and no way was I going to spend my birthday alone!"

Qrow chuckles as he affectionately ruffles their hair. "Oz decided to let me have a free weekend. Coincidentally, Mr. Tin Man  felt the same for Clover," he smiles as she jumps back down to the ground.

"Tin man?"

Before Qrow could respond to her inquiry - the front door swings open and another voice is heard. "So, our favourite lil' whirlwind is here already?" Clover says with a smirk as he leans on the doorframe. Ruby lets out a squeal as she zips across the front lawn and practically leaps into her uncle's chest, knocking the man back a couple of feet.

"Uncle Clover, it's been so long!" Ruby cries out as they hug him tightly and Clover smiles warmly down at her. As she drops back down and takes a step back, she can barely contain her excitement, frantically patting her legs. Clover takes a few seconds to recover from the intensity of Ruby's hug, then looks down at her with a proud smile.

"I swear you've grown an inch or two since I last saw ya!" He exclaims with a short gasp - inspecting them closely.

Ruby giggles, "It's actually just my new boots," she explains as she shows them off proudly which causes Clover to whistle into admiration. Ruby pauses for a moment and gestures for their uncle to come closer, the other doing just that, as they stretch up to his ear in a stealthy fashion.

"But if anyone else asks - I finally had my growth spurt." Ruby whispers.

Clover takes a second to process that before he snorts and stands back up, "Your secret is safe with me munchkin." He finishes with a wink and ruffles their hair.  Ruby let's out a playful grunt as she frantically goes to fix her hair back to the way she liked it just as Qrow approaches from behind them.

"I'm gonna pop these bags up to your room, squirt, and then I hafta check on your birthday surprise," Qrow explains as he easily picks up and carries in her assortment of different backpacks and cases. "Why dontcha join your uncle in the kitchen?" He suggests with a smirk towards Clover - who beams brightly in return. Ruby nods enthusiastically and takes hold of Clover's arm.

"Yesss come on Uncle Clover, time's a wastin!" They cry out as they tug Clover in the direction of the kitchen which has her uncle laughing warmly; allowing for his nibling to drag him in the direction she wanted to go.

"We'll see you soon babe - shoot me a text when everything's ready!"  Clover shouts back towards Qrow and the other nods in agreement.

As the duo separated themselves from Qrow - they enter into the kitchen. The whole room was rather neatly kept - totally unlike Ruby’s kitchen at home, which often fell victim to plates and dishes piling up, especially if it was just Ruby and her dad.

On the table in the middle, there was a variety of different baking utensils and ingredients - all neatly sorted and ready to be used. Ruby gasps loudly as they sprint into the room, admiring her surroundings with great excitement.

Clover trails in not far behind the other and chuckles softly, "I was going to have the cake and everything else ready for you, but I remembered how much you love to bake, so I waited to make the cupcakes."  He tells them while watching the young kid take in the sight before them with big eyes.

"Always! Just because it's my birthday doesn't mean I don't want to make badass cupcakes-" Ruby stops herself when she realises what she let slip past her mouth and clears her throat. "Doesn't mean we can't make awesome cupcakes," they correct themself with an innocent smile. Clover rolls his eyes playfully, choosing to ignore that in favour of wanting Ruby to enjoy her birthday.

"Anyways! We should get started - would you like to do the honours?" Clover says as he passes her the bowl of butter and Ruby nods in a dramatic fashion. As she dumps its contents into the mixing bowl before her, her uncle pours some casting sugar in before presenting Ruby with the whisk.

"Use it wisely, young one." Clover says.

Ruby gasps while taking it carefully and nodding, "I won't let you down good sir." She tries to keep up the serious demeanor but she couldn't contain the giggles that were building up deep down. As they begin to whisk the ingredients together, Ruby starts to ponder on a few things.

She was excited beyond belief about spending her birthday with her uncles - it was a rare sight when both of them could attend. But… there were small things that were nagging at Ruby and refusing to let go. Their sudden quietness immediately catches her uncle's attention, who then turns to face her.

“Something on your mind?” Clover asks in a gentle tone - completely surprising Ruby who lets out a tiny yelp. It didn't take her long to recover from that sudden question as Ruby looks down at the mix and sighs.

“I'm happy to be here with both you and uncle Qrow but… It's my first birthday without Yang.” Ruby speaks very quietly as she slows to a halt and their hair falls onto her face - hiding her true expression. Clover watches with soft eyes as he lowers himself down to her level.

"I know how hard it must be with Yang being on that school trip and your dad being busy," Clover starts in a gentle tone while pushing Ruby's fringe back once more, "but trust me when I say you're going to have a great birthday with the most awesome surprise."  He gives her a big smile as the words seem to do the job of cheering her up. Ruby's expression lights back up and they wipe their eyes

"Thank you Uncle Clover," she says with a lopsided smile. Clover laughs as he kisses her forehead and stands back up - the pair returning to their tasks.

"So uncle Clover - a birthday surprise huh?" She asks with a sly smile.

Clover glances down for a moment before chuckling to himself, "You got that right." He doesn’t elaborate further, simply gesturing for her to stop the whisking for a moment. As he adds a small tablespoon of vanilla extract, while Ruby's curiosity reaches an all time high.

"I wonder what it could be - maybe a mega awesome present-"

Clover laughs, "Ruby I know you have long figured out I'm the weak link when it comes to surprises," he says with a side glance down towards the kid.

Ruby giggles. "Yeah I found out when you accidentally told Yang that dad was considering the motorcycle license-"

Clover hushes them with a small laugh, "Which your dad never ever lets me live down."

"But I promised your uncle I wouldn't breathe a word of it - so will a simple reassurance that you will love it suffice?" Clover asks.

Despite the desire to know brewing deep down within Ruby - she understood this was something super important to keep a secret. With a sigh, she finishes her whisking and nods in agreement. Clover pats her on the head

"Not much longer now," he says while taking the bowl away.

"Now remember - 15 minutes in the oven or you'll burn them!" Ruby calls as Clover goes to fill the pre-prepared cupcake pan with the batter.

Clover scoffs,"You're talking to the 'Best Baker in all of Remnant' here Ruby. I ain't about to let these cupcakes burn on my watch!"

After the batch has been fully cooked and decorated, Clover's scroll finally dings on the counter loudly. Ruby's head perks up.

"Is that Qrow telling us everything is ready?!" They ask while frantically patting the table.

Clover laughs, "Let's see." He walks over and picks the device up. After being silent for a few seconds, the man looks back up and smiles. "We have to head out back."

Ruby follows behind her uncle enthusiastically - as he leads them down the hallway.

Excitement was thrumming all throughout Ruby's body as they got closer and closer to their destination. About a dozen different scenarios were rattling around in their head at once - but they just couldn't come to a solid conclusion. Was it a new cape? Maybe they're getting a super cool motorcycle too?! Clover stops before the backdoor and turns to Ruby.

"Close your eyes buddy," he tells her with a big smile. Ruby did exactly as she was told and soon after did they feel Clover gently take their arm and begin to lead her forward.

Ruby could feel the cool breeze of the outside world as they were continued to be led by her uncle - the shuffling of feet could be heard too. After a few seconds, Clover orders her to stop and she does just that.

"Can I open my eyes now?!" They exclaim, growing more impatient by the second.

Clover laughs, "You can now."Ruby's eyes flutter open. After taking a moment to adjust to the sudden sunlight - Ruby focuses her gaze right ahead of her, letting out a huge gasp at the sight before their eyes.

"Happy birthday Ruby!"

Different voices yell in unison, coming noth only from her Uncle Qrow, but also from her dad and sister, standing next to Qrow with huge matching grins. Ruby begins to bounce on the spot before jetting across the grassy garden.

"Oh my gosh!" They yell, tackling all their family in one swift motion, everyone being knocked to the ground by the force of it. Everyone laughs wildly as Yang and Tai embrace Ruby.

"You said you guys couldn't make it!" They say with tears in her eyes and Yang swiftly wipes them away, a soft smile on her face.

"You didn't think I'd miss your big birthday bash, did ya sib?"

Tai nods, "I decided to get off work early and Yang finished up her Huntsfolk Observation Trip quicker than expected." The trio finally stand back up and Tai his head tilts in Qrow's direction before continuing.

"Qrow managed to pull some strings to make sure we were all here," he says with a smirk.

Yang scoffs, "I had to make sure these old timers were doing your birthday right." She gives both Tai and Qrow a smug grin. Tai playfully jabs his daughter in the ribs and Yang snorts in response.

Ruby's face lit up - not sure how to react. Tai's face softens for a moment as he turns back around to pick up an item he dropped when they fell, picking up a small book with a pink bow neatly placed on top of it.

"I wanted you to have this. We all spent the last week getting all the pictures printed and organized." He explains in a quiet tone while placing the book into Ruby's hands.

Ruby stares at it, seeing the words 'Ruby's Birthday' printed on the top stirred emotions deep down. Everyone crowds around them with supportive looks which encourages Ruby to open the book, letting the pages fall open somewhere around the halfway point.

As Ruby looks down at the page, she could see Yang holding their baby self with the help of Tai, her older sister’s eyes wide with wonder.

"Yang insisted that she held you the moment she laid eyes on you," Qrow chuckles fondly.

Yang gives a quick snicker in response, "I just knew how awesome my baby sibling was the moment I saw them," she says while ruffling Ruby's hair and the other pushes her off with a smile.

"What is it with all this hair ruffling today?!" Ruby asks with giggles sprinkled in between words.

As they flip backwards to the previous page, they see two pages of Qrow and Clover holding them as a baby as well.

"Clover of course, had to make a luck pun," Qrow says with a smirk in his husband's direction and the other stuck his tongue out playfully.

"So nothing much has changed between now and then?" Ruby points out which causes everyone else to laugh alongside them. Ruby turns the page further back towards the front of the book, seeing a picture of Tai.

"I remember when your mother went into labour - I quickly ran back into our room to specifically get that shirt," Tai explains with a short laugh, pointing at the red ‘#1 Dad’ shirt in the picture.

Clover scoffs, "You were planning that gag ever since Summer became pregnant too."

Tai waves him off “I’m the embarrassing father - I have an image to maintain!’’ He laughs and Ruby snorts in response  - looking up at her dad with happy eyes. After a moment, Ruby’s attention once again falls back to the book before them - as they flip to the first page of the book and Ruby finds herself growing silent.

Tai looks down at them with sad eyes as he places his hand on her shoulder "She wasn't scared at all when she was pregnant with you - I was more frightened than her." That comment has Ruby look up to her dad with a sad smile as she let him continue.

"She did everything in her power to make sure you were brought into the world safely and surrounded by love," he explains as everyone around them watched on in a wistful way "Your mom loved you so much Ruby. Every moment she spent with you was everything she could've hoped for."

That was what brought on the tears - as Yang and Ruby both found themselves starting to cry. Everyone  then closed in for a group hug. Nobody moved for a few moments, just choosing to instead enjoy each other's presence in total serenity.

"One last thing," Yang says with a smile as she pulls back and taking out a small camera. "Every year me and Ruby take a picture together for their birthday," she explains as she gestures for everyone to squeeze together "And this is the first time we've all been together in a long long time."

Yang places the camera on the nearby picnic table and sets a timer "Everyone says cheese!" She cries out while rushing over just in time as everyone screams out that word excitedly. The camera clicks with a flash and everyone starts to giggle. Qrow gives Ruby a quick pat on the head.

"Now let's dig into some birthday cake, shall we?" He suggests and Ruby gasps loudly.

"Birthday person gets the first slice!" She exclaims as she zips over in a burst of petals.

~~~

“That’s such a sweet story Ruby,’’ Pyrrha says with a warm smile on her face and placing her hands on top of heart in a fond manner. “Would you like to take a picture with all of us?’’

That question easily catches Ruby’s attention as her eyes go wide, “Oh my gosh yes! I’d love nothing more,’’ they say while jumping on the spot and clasping her hands together. “It’ll show off our awesome costumes too. I dont have one good birthday photo in Halloween costumes, and I’ve almost always had a Halloween birthday.’’

Weiss raises an eyebrow “Ruby, you were born on Halloween, every year is a Halloween birthday." Yang hushes Weiss with a playful push.

“You can survive one night without making a sassy remark Ice Queen,’’ she teases which obviously irritates the other but after a moment, Weiss takes in a deep breath and seemingly composes herself.

“Does anyone have a camera then?’’ Weiss asks.

Everyone looks around at each other before shrugging and Nora groans, “Where’s Velvet when ya need her.” . Blake’s head perks up as she takes out her scroll and gestures to it.

“It’s not as traditional, but I think your scroll could work.’’ She says with a small smile.

Yang’s face lights up “Once again - Blake is here with the big brain,’’ she says with a wink which in turn causes Blake’s cheeks to flush red and she looks down at the floor with a tiny smile. Ruby takes out her device and beams brightly.

"Everybody squeeze in - I’m pretty short,’’ she says loudly and everyone begins to crowd in around them, all trying their best to get in level with the camera. With a bit of effort, Ruby manages to hold the scroll as high she possibly could and she gives a big smile.

“Everyone say cheese!’’ She yells and everyone screams that word at the same time.

A flash on the scroll lights up the room before Ruby lowers it down - inspecting the picture that was taken. As they look at the photo, tears begin to well up in their eyes and she sniffles lightly.

Yang glances down with a fond look on her face and pats Ruby lightly on the head, “All good Rubes?’’ Ruby wipes her eyes and nods frantically.

“It’s everything I could’ve hoped for.’’

[tobeornottotc]

Tharn and Type Seven Years Ep 2: Observations and Comments

Wow, what can I say except yes finally after a bit of worry about how this season was going to be especially after being scarred by A chance to love (like Tin and Can are cute but the lack of a good plot and waste of side characters still hunts me to this day), I really came weary into Tharn and Type season 2, but thing is as much as last week the editing, sound issues and some lightning issues worried me, I kind of really enjoyed seeing my couple once again. It was just a bit different to the feeling in season 1 for me (it should be we're seven years in we're meant to have maturity, domesticity, and slower less angsty relationship from Tharn and Type) but yeh because of this different feeling I wasn't sure what to say about this show. But Episode 2 took me back to my love for this couple, and I couldn't help but go through excitement, tears and also just nostalgia for how much it called back to season 1.

 As much as Tharn and Type have grown up and had their issues, the way they settle them now is different, their dynamic is still the same they're still passionate and crazy about each other but its the little things as well that shows how mature they've become, even though Type may curse out everyone including Tharn because that's his personality its the softness from him for me that warms my heart, its the way he's absolutely devoted to Tharn: he still calls out his father and says he'll be a widower without him,(already seeing himself tied to him in a marriage without the actual involvement of the law and people), its the way he ensures that Tharn is protected from being hurt when cooking and worrying about the little scars on his hands, its the way he pridefully tells everyone who he trusts that he's looking at his man and he's not ashamed to look longingly and lovingly at Tharn as he sings their song. It's so beautiful, and it's just so incredible to see his growth and see how absolutely devoted he is to Tharn despite Tharn not fully seeing so. 

Tharn, on the other hand, is the same as always 100% focused Type and making sure Type knows he's his, I just love how they talk to each other, how despite fighting all the time for seven years they find it like a comfort to expose their flawed selves to each other knowing they won't back away. I love how Tharn and Type still have those moments where they show they clearly need each other for comfort and just warmth (cuddle scene and Tharn apologising) and I love how despite having disagreements they go back to normal the next day and ensure that they don't fight for too long. It's just precious and its what I love about them. And of course, their passion which one of the reasons for why they are so great, that chemistry has just gotten better and better and that kiss blew me away in the bathroom. Mew and Gulf are clearly now used to each other, and so much more in tune with each other, their chemistry, sensuality and seductive could be felt from the screen, and I felt like an interloper watching it. It made me scream, made me laugh, but it made me blush, and I remember how much Mew and Gulf engulf the whole show with their chemistry and passion. I'm jealous, to be honest about it all.

Other things to notice

Phu and Cir: They're adorable, their skinship shocked me wasn't expecting the amount of PDA we got from them but I ain't complaining it makes me appreciate this show even more. Phu and Gun are the antitheses to Tharn and Type, they're adorable and soft and proud of their relationship in public, they don't seem to fight or argue, and they have a sweeter dynamic to them, but I do hope for a plot for them instead of just cute stuff because I like their characters and I like the actors. But right now I see what they're here in the show for, they keep being a reminder to Tharn about his own hopes and dreams for what he wants from his relationship; he wants what they have, he wants to be overly affectionate in public and to able to call Type his in front of everyone just like Cir does. So they do have a use, and I don't want people to see them as like just fan service.

Fiat and Leo: Fiat is spoilt, and he gets his way we can see that he goes a bit unstable when Leo is away for a while. Almost he's reliant on Leo, and he's not used to being away from him. Leo is fiercely protective of Fiat as we see his friends keep updating and worrying about Leo's reactions to them not doing Fiats bidding or hurting him. For Fiat I love this actor, he's stubborn and like he doesn't give in typically, childish and immature, and I'm guessing Leo is the opposite. Still, Fiat reminds me of how I felt about Type, he's annoying and flawed, but he's somewhat lovable and intriguing. I can't help but want to care for his character and know more about him, and that's all because of his acting and charisma. I'm so excited to delve deeper into his character, and I can't wait to see how Leo plays a part in this.

The boss: Type isn't someone who likes to be patient so that he will explode later on this person. The question is why is the boss of Type so rude, and disrespectful, he's so like hyperfocused on trying to make Type seem so weak. From what Type has said its to do with jealousy, but I'm not really if that's all it is, he's jealous about Type being so handsome, and charismatic and liked by women that he feels some kind of inferiority complex? Because to be honest just because his girl hit on Type, it's very unprofessional of him to act this way, and I am not okay with it. I cannot wait to see Type punch the living daylights out of him. Eww

Khunpol and Champ: My babies, my soft, cute, sweet babies. They probably will be angsty soon, but I love them already. Champ is one fluffball so much more gentler than he was in Season 1, he's adorable, clueless about love and I'm sure Techno is going to play a massive role snooping and trying to set up Champ and Khunpol. As for Khunpol I can see already that baby boy has a crush on our Champ (even though Champ is so clueless) but the girlfriend mention and the relief on his face when he realises there is none, the way he laughs and gets excited when he saw Champ and a bit of disappointment when he saw Type walk into their conversation pretty much already tells me what I need to know about these two. Khunpol is shy and gentle and wouldn't really try to make anything happen, but he'll probably wait longingly for Champ to recognise how he feels. And Champ is going to be very naive and very dumb about the situation. They kind of remind me of King and Ram in my engineer, Khunpol screams King to me acts innocent and sweet like he doesn't know what's happening but secretly holding and panicking about feelings. And Champ is more like Ram,  a bit distanced from that feeling but soon will realise what's happening. Either way, my babies are making me so excited the way they make each other smile, the skinship from Champ to Khunpol which is automatic apparently and something he just likes to do because he sees Khun as cute and fluffy. Squeal, my heart is about to be stolen by these 2, can't wait to see how they unfold.

Overall this episode of Tharn and Type 7 years has been a blast from the past, I have had so much fun rewatching it and its made me so happy and excited for what's to come. If we get more stuff like this, then Tharn and Type is probably going to stay my favourite show. Still, I am so in love with everything in this so far/  I also wanted to say that it's nice to see them have conversations this episode about work and how they've changed, it's genuine and also very warm to see how they had grown up and graduated from uni when in the past season we watched their immature selves act childish and young and react that way in situations. This show is meant to be a more mature version of Season 1, and I think it's doing that so far. Also can Mew please stop looking so good? Like I can't deal with it, and Gulf as well likes in that uniform like please let me breathe. Haha. I can't wait for the next episode.

[peachships]

tulip, marigold & peony for Nick Valentine ~ rebeccaselfships

Thank you for the ask @rebeccaselfships ! Always love talking about my fave walking tin can [affectionate]!

Tulip - go to your f/o's wiki page and quote your favorite part of it.

"Nick scared the abductors away by claiming that he had a bomb inside him and beeping (Nick claims that he literally just said the word "beep" repeatedly)."

marigold - what is your favorite picture, video, and/or moment of your f/o?

My favourite memory is probably when we were walking through downtown Boston and we came upon some Supermutants. I got downed so I was shooting from the ground and I hear that damned beeping of a Supermutant Suicider (they slam dunk you with a mini-nuke) and Nick just fuckin BOLTED at it and pistol-whipped it and took the full brunt of the explosion. When the smoke died down, he just walked back over to me like nothing happened??

(This actually happened in-game and it makes me laugh till this day)

peony - how many images, gifs, and videos of your f/o do you have saved to your gallery?

You know, that's a good question! I have them saved to send to @polkadotheart since he's their husband :3c but I have like,,, 20(?) pictures?

[merkari]

statement of the admiral concerning georgie barkers routine. Statement begins. Georgie is at home all day most of the time. This is good because she used to leave every day and I did not care for it because I was not allowed to go with her. I didn't want to go with her because wherever she went seemed loud and stinky but it would be nice to have been asked.

Anyway these days she doesn't leave first thing every morning. Since she doesnt have to leave I have discovered she needs extra assistance to wake up. I am of course very happy to provide that assistance because I am hungry and it's my food time. She will feed me but only dry food, which is ok but very boring. I want tuna. She wont let me drink her tea which I think is very rude. I don't want it anyway but I resent being shooed away. I was just sniffing it.

And I am NOT stinky. SHE is the stinky one. She smells weird and like lots of plants. She SHOULD smell more of me so I will rub my cheeks on her hands a lot. She is very rude and I decided to ignore her forever. this didnt work because i missed her so I tried to go in not bed room.

It took me an eternity of wailing and pleading outside her door for her to let me in. However despite the little kiss she gave me she IMMEDIATELY went back to her work!! Atrocious!!! No matter how much I begged her she would not relent. What did I do to earn such contempt??? In the end, I had to take matters into my own paws.

Boldly, I jumped up to the table and took a seat on my eternal nemesis, the object of my envy and my only contender to her affections. it was surprisingly warm and comfortable for such a traitorous fiend. I settled down and stared her in the eyes. Maybe she would see me now?

she told me to get off! The horror! The injustice! In my life I have never been more offended than I was in that moment. My eyes widened. The ache of betrayal festered in my heart. But bravely, I kept my composure. My face placid, my eyes narrowed, I stared her off and cried out loudly.

"What? Is it food time already?"

That was NOT what I was getting at, but I'll take what I can get.

As soon as she stood I leapt up to follow her, making sure to nudge her every few feet so she wouldn't forget where we were going. She forgets things a lot. Like that she said she was going to play with me later. Or that it's my table too and I'm allowed to sit there. Or that she has to wake up early enough to feed me. It's okay, I'm happy to remind her. I don't know what she'd do without me.

Anyway she DID feed me and this time it wasnt just the dry stuff but it was STILL boring. I wanted some of her tuna sandwich. I could smell it.

After id finished my food I snuck up stealthily behind her towards her plate but she spotted me!!! And held her plate away!!! The nerve of it all!!! Assisting my prey in its be escape??? Whose side is she even on? Anyway, I DIDN'T manage to get the tuna. But one day I will. I just know it. (I know we're busy right now Jon but I promise you'll be my favourite if you buy me a tin and let me have the whole thing)

Anyway after that, I had a nap, and when I woke up I was feeling a little hungry but I'm far too proud to beg for food. I am above begging. It is SHE who should beg. And give me tuna. Georgie is still doing things so I will stare at her indefinitely until she notices me. I am not blinking because this is not an affectionate stare and it will not be mistaken as such.

I am a little annoyed that you broke our staring contest, jon, but I am glad you can finally talk properly. You must tell Georgie she is being unreasonable. I am HUNGRY. she cannot wait so long. It has been forever. No I don't know how long. She is LYING she hasn't fed me since last time she fed me. And that didn't even count because I didn't get any tuna. Jon you must believe me and give me food. Jon I am starving. Jon look at me. Look at my eyes. These are the eyes of a cat who has been wronged. you must make it right. Give me tuna. statement ends.

[galraluver]

Regris A-Z Fluff Headcanons

A = affection (how affectionate are they in day to day life? Do they show affection publicly or keep that more in private?)

~ Regris is extremely affectionate every day

~ Regris likes showing affection for you in public once you get him to come out of his shell

~ But in private he wants to cuddle with you and never let go

B = best memory (what is the best memory they have with you)

~ Regris' best memory with you was when you took him to the park for the first time

C = cat or dog person (this is pretty obvious)

~ Regris prefers bunnies over cats and dogs because they're so fluffy, cute and quiet

D = dreams (what do they want to do in life?)

~ Regris wants to live somewhere with you, have a nice home a rabbit and maybe one or two kids

E = evenings (how do they spend their evening? Do they go out? Do they read?)

~ If the weather is warm enough, Regris loves going out to watch the sunset with you

~ Sometimes he'll take you out on dates in the evening

~ Regris doesn't really like to read unless it's an instruction manual for some kind of tech

F = first date (what was it like?)

~ Normally Galra don't just date around, but when you told Regris what a date was he wanted to try it

~ Regris decided to take you to the space mall where the two of you found an arcade with pinball machines

~ After playing pinball for a while you both got something to eat at the food court

G = giggle (what is their laugh like? What makes them laugh?)

~ Regris laughs every time you show him a funny meme or gif

~ Regris' laugh is a tad bit high pitched and breathy

H = hugs (do they like hugs? What kind of hugs do they give?)

~ Regris really loves hugging you

~ He loves hugging you from behind and kissing your neck since it makes you flustered

I = instrument (do they play an instrument?)

~ Regris once found a tin whistle at the space mall. After a while of practicing he got really good at playing it

J = joy (what brings them joy in life?)

~ You are someone that brings joy to Regris' life

~ Regris also really loves learning about new technology

K = kisses (what kind of kisser are they? Shy? Passionate?)

~ Regris didn't even know kisses existed until one evening while you both were watching an old Disney movie

~ Ever since you taught him how to kiss Regris loves kissing you, even out in public when he's not wearing his mask

L = love (how do they act when they have a crush)

~ Regris stuttered a lot and became very shy when he started having a crush on you

~ At one point he couldn't even form any words when he was in the same room as you were or he would get an awkward boner

~ Thankfully, all that eventually changed

M = memory (what’s their favourite memory?)

~ Regris' favorite memory is when he showed you his face for the first time and you told him how handsome he was

N = no (what is their pet peeve?)

~ Regris hates it when people call him a reptile

O = occupation (what’s their dream job?)

~ Regris wants some kind of job that has to do with technology

P = parent (what kind of parent would they be?)

~ Regris would probably be the fun parent who gives his kid/kids sweets when you're not looking

Q = questions (do they believe in the super natural? Aliens? Anything along those lines)

~ Regris has always wondered what it's like not to have a tail

R = romantic (are they romantic during the relationship?)

~ Regris is very romantic during his relationship with you. How could he not be?

S = smile (what makes them smile without fail)

~ Whenever you do or say something super cute Regris can't help but smile

T = together (how clingy are they? How long do you two spend together per day on average)

~ No one (except you) would have guessed that Regris was super clingy

~ Regris spends as much time with you as he can

U = unbearable (what habit do they have that’s unbearable?)

~ Sometimes when Regris gets a new piece of technology he stays up super late tinkering with it

V = videos (do they take lots of videos or photos during your relationship?)

~ Regris likes taking lots of pictures during his relationship with you

W = wedding (what was the wedding like?)

~ Regris was so interested in Human culture that he wanted to use Human wedding traditions

~ You made sure to get the poofiest wedding gown and the longest veil you could find

~ Regris had to have a custom tuxedo made to fit him

~ You invited your whole family and the Paladins while Regris invited all the Blades he could

~ Naturally, Hunk got to bake the wedding cake and make the other food

~ The wedding was the most wonderful day in you and Regris' entire lives

X = eXtra (what’s an interesting fact about them that they don’t tell anyone about?)

~ Regris likes using your sweet scented body lotion to moisturize his skin

Y = yuck (what do they hate? Could be a food, scent, word anything)

~ Regris hates the feeling of blue jean material

Z = zzzz (how heavy of a sleeper are they? How do they sleep? What mood do they wake up in? Really any sleeping headcanons)

~ Regris is a somewhat heavy sleeper, but sometimes if he hears a strange sound he'll wake up

~ Regris has to sleep either on his side or his back because of his tail

~ As long as you're with him, Regris wakes up in a good mood

~ Regris can't sleep unless the blankets are extra fluffy 

~ Sometimes when Regris stays up late tinkering with some kind of technology you have to remind him that he needs to sleep

[fandom-necromancer]

1257.  Stop giggling.

This was prompted by the lovely @detroitbecomestickman! It has been some time since a reverse AU but I love them. Enjoy!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900 | AU: Reverse AU

‘Who takes the bot today?’ ‘Hmm? Oh, I think it’s Richard’s turn.’ ‘Oof… Hope we get Gavin back in one piece tomorrow…’ ‘That bad?’ ‘Look for yourself.’

Gavin filtered the background noise with an annoyed eye-roll. Yes, Nines was exceptionally grumpy today. No, that didn’t bother the old android. He had survived far worse in his now eight years on the job. He would survive the Detective with a loose temper. He still didn’t understand why he couldn’t just stay at the station like he had all the years before. The revolution be damned, some of the new laws made no sense at all. He was happy to be free and to be a deviant who didn’t have to obey every stupid order. But the latest decision was just plain absurd: Every deviant android was only allowed to spend his scheduled time at the workplace. It was a new requirement for them to leave the building for at least eight hours. For androids that had bought or rented homes, that was fine. But Gavin couldn’t have been bothered. He liked his job and was happy to work on. He was free to go anytime, that was something very comforting, but he liked work, so why not stay beyond his time. It was a working system, him keeping track of everything and helping out who needed him.

But no, now he was handed from person to person to keep him at their home for these eight hours. Gavin felt like he invaded the place every time. He was uncomfortable, bored and most of all, he didn’t want to play nice with their families. Tina was okay, Chris’ daughter was cute even in his eyes and Nines… Well, he was his work partner and the human he knew best, so they naturally got along. Still, Gavin hoped that new law would be abolished soon.

Nines had an incredibly short fuse today. The coffee-machine breaking on him first thing in the morning, leaving him with half a cup of too strong coffee had been the initial phck-you send from life. Then he had entered his password wrong three times in a row, throwing him out until IT reset it for him. He had been furious, and Gavin had watched from the side-lines amusedly. He had thought to tell him later he could have hacked the system too, sparing him the embarrassing call, but that would likely had ended in a full-blown fight, so he let it pass.

Then the radio in the breakroom had him ending up with his least favourite song stuck in his head and his brother had bothered him for full thirty minutes with birthday preparations for their mother both hated secretly. It was what every human called a bad day. Gavin called it entertainment.

With every problem being solved in the course of a heartbeat and every unsolvable problem filed away for later, the android was easily bored even at work. Walking the fine line of danger between aggravating his partner and yet keeping him calm enough so he wouldn’t trash him had quickly become his favourite hobby. An hour later as nothing particularly bad had happened, the man had calmed down enough for him to spice it up again: ‘You were supposed to call the witness of the Carlson-case at five-fifty.’ ‘What?’ Nines looked up from his terminal, cursing heavily: ‘Shit. Why didn’t you tell me, you useless android?’ ‘Hey, you were busy sulking over that paper-cut. Didn’t want to disturb ya.’ ‘Oh, you fucking-‘ ‘Hey, you better hurry make that call, right?’ ‘Yes. But this will have consequences, GV, I warn you!’ ‘Yeah, warn me’, Gavin grinned, watching how Nines hurried off to a place of relative silence. A faint [mission successful] hovered in his HUD.

The rest of the day had its own challenges for the human and the last half an hour until their shift ended Gavin decided to leave him be. He had to spend eight hours with Nines, he would have ample chances at riling him up. ‘And? How’s it going, ready to heed home?’, Gavin smirked mischievously, and the man continued to stare at him not understanding what he was up to. Then it clicked. ‘Ah, fuck and here I thought to finally get a breather… it’s my turn today, isn’t it?’ ‘Yup’, Gavin grinned, popping the p. Nines sighed heavily. ‘Fine.’ ‘So, we’re ready to go, Nines?’ ‘Don’t call me that!’, the man spat. ‘I have a name. And yeah, I guess.’ He logged out of his terminal and ordered his papers. ‘Let’s go.’

They drove through Detroit and Gavin left him alone during that time. The man stubbornly insisted to drive manually and that was enough of a risk that he didn’t want to add any more to that. They pulled into his lot and into the garage. Gavin was about to leave, but Nines remained seated a bit longer, just breathing. ‘Everything alright, meat-bag?’, the android teased. ‘Yes, just bracing myself for another eight hours with your metal ass.’ ‘Charming.’ ‘Fuck off.’

They entered Nines’ home and immediately Nines groaned, throwing the key on the sideboard violently. ‘Really? Really, that had to happen today?’ He rubbed at his face, looking down on the carpet. ‘Fucking furball, I do everything for you’, he hollered into the open space, now completely pissed off. ‘I give you food, I clean after you, I treat you like a goddamn princess and you thank me by leaving a giant turd on my carpet!’

Gavin couldn’t help but laugh wholeheartedly as he saw the tail of Nines’ cat disappear into the bedroom. He tried to stifle it into a light chuckle, but the human’s angry face together with what happened so far, was too much. ‘Stop giggling you shitty, obsolete robot!’, he shouted, now at Gavin, who just laughed more. ‘I will trash you, regardless of what the consequences are. Just for today you deserved it!’ ‘Alright, alright, Nines, calm down’, the GV chuckled. ‘Don’t call me that! I hate that damn nickname, I have a name and it is Richard!’ ‘Whatever you say, Richard. You still have to calm down.’ He took the fuming human’s arm and led him to the table. ‘God, you had a shitty day. Life clearly hates you.’

Nines sighed. ‘Yes, it must hate me, letting me meet you.’ ‘Come on, I’m the best to ever happen to you. You need someone to rile you up or you would die of boredom. A healthy rival if you will.’ ‘I really don’t need that right now, Gavin. I need my peace. For just an hour or two, okay?’ The android nodded, smiling. ‘Of course, you relax a bit and I’ll clean this up for you.’ ‘Thanks, tin-can’, the man said, dropping his head on the table in a sigh.

Gavin looked at him affectionately. Maybe he wouldn’t take him literally this time and wait a bit more than “one or two hours” until he made his life just a tip more annoying. He deserved some rest for now.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #381

“don’t try to be the one person who has stayed just to say they never left me”

Do you feel bored with your life? Always. Do you miss anyone who was mean to you in the past? I sometimes miss Colleen, but I know it's for the better that we no longer associate with each other. What’s the most weight you’ve ever gained from a medication? I don't know, but a fuck of a lot. Thanks, Abilify. Have you ever been suicidal? Yes. Do you pray? If yes, to whom? No. What do you miss about high school? Memories with Jason. What do you miss the most about college? Socializing. What was the best date you’ve ever been on? A triple date to an arcade w/ Jason and friends. What’s the last great song you discovered? The most recent one? I don't know, really. Do you feel free to post how you feel on Facebook? Yeah. Don't like what I post, delete me. Have you ever done cocaine? Yikes, no thanks. Do you think you’ll ever get married? Do you want to? I sometimes wonder if I ever will. I'm scared of just continuing to be an unemployed leech that is doing nothing significant with her life, in which case it's like, why even be with me romantically. I feel like such a dead end street. I want to get married someday. Who do you care about the most? When it comes down to it, probably my mom. Have you ever made out on a couch? Yeah. Would you ever get gauged ears? I want small gauges, actually. When it comes to clothing, are you the conservative type? Yes, because I hate my body and don't want others to see it. Do you enjoy eating? I wish I didn't. Have you ever ridden in a race car? No. Do you go out of your way to impress the opposite gender? No. Do you enjoy history? Not really, no. It bores me. Are you a pajama person or do you stay dressed all day? I'm just about always in my pjs. Do you value looks or personality more? Personality is way more important. Have you ever changed religions? Yeah. Born Roman Catholic, converted to Christianity when I further understood the differences, then I went to how I am now: I believe in something(s), but I don't quite know what. I wouldn't call myself a Neo-Pagan, but it's what I relate most to. Would you ever wear fake eyelashes? I would for like, my wedding. Foo fighters vs. Red Hot Chili Peppers: I'm actually not a big fan of either. Are you a fan of the SAW movies? I don't really watch them. Do you ever forget how old your siblings are? My two immediate sisters, I'm sometimes a year off. All my others, yes. :x Mountain Dew or Sprite? Mountain Dew, of course. I really don't like Sprite now, which is ironic because as a kid, it was my favorite soda. Could you ever give yourself a shot? Yeah. Have you ever worked as a cashier? That was one of my duties when I worked at a dollar store. If you are on birth control that allows you take pills and skip your period, how often do you opt to skip it? How come? My birth control doesn't allow me to skip, but rather, it regulates it. Is there a book series where you loved the first book, but for some reason the other books in the series just didn’t measure up? I can't say that, no, as most series I just kinda fell out of, like The Hunger Games. LOVED the first book, started the second, and even though I was enjoying it, I just stopped for some reason? Are there any stores/restaurants that you would like to shop/eat at, but there aren’t any located near enough to you? Haha yeah, like lots of west coast fast food places like Jack n' the Box or however it's formatted. If you were told by a professional that you were unable to become pregnant, how would that affect you? Is there something important to you about conceiving a biological child rather than adoption? And finally, if you even want to have children, would you choose adoption or surrogacy or would you go on childless? I don't even want kids, so honestly, I'd be stoked if I learned I was infertile. Wouldn't need to worry about the chance of getting pregnant and facing an abortion dilemma. Is there something that you did not used to take seriously, that you either now take seriously or wish that you had in the past (e.g., a relationship that you miss, your education, etc.)? Hm. I don't know. Are there any subjects that you are interested in so much that you would read whole books or academic journals about them? Meerkats, especially. I will read EVERY scientific article about them I find. Are you physically affectionate with your friends? I'm a hugger. When you were in middle school and high school, did you witness a lot of bullying? How did the teachers react to name-calling or violence? Not really, thankfully. Are any of your friends/relatives actually impressive artists or writers? Are you willing to share an example of their work? Yeah. I have a cousin who's really good at drawing, and my sister is a wonderful cake decorator. Do you drink more apple or orange juice? Orange. Could you forgive your best friend for sleeping with your gf/bf? My hypothetical bf/gf, no. Would you ever donate blood? I have before, and I would again if I knew I was hydrated enough and the opportunity was right there. Would you rather drink coffee or tea? Ugh, neither. Do you get easily embarrassed? YES. How long was your longest make out? TMI alert, like all night. If the person who hurt you most said they’re sorry would you believe them? I honestly don't know. Do you have sensitive skin? Very. What color is your mum's car? White. Do you live in an apartment? No. Do you have a pet fish? Nope. Are you happy with your eye color? I wish they were a more sapphire blue. Solid soap bar or liquid body wash? Absolutely liquid body wash. What color do you want your dream car to be? Baby pink. *-* Do you have more then one favorite band? I say I do, but at the same time I know Ozzy Osbourne will ALWAYS be #1. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship? In a relationship. But it's absolutely not something I'm about to force just for the sake of being in one. Would you be really upset if Facebook ceased to exist tomorrow? Nah. Have you or would you try shark meat? No to both. Do you know anyone that's pescatarian? No. Someone I watch on YouTube is, though. Are you shy or over confident around your crushes? Super shy. Do you think the govt. has a cure for cancer, but is hiding it from public? Hell, I think it's very well possible, but I lean more towards for financial hoarding, they simply don't further pursue potential cures that are discovered. I mean, just THINK about all the "future cures" you've read or heard about. It's fucking outrageous. It's all to fuel the medical industry. Okay, tin hat coming off. Last time you drank a diet soda? A very long time ago, because diet soda gives me a massive headache. Was your ex born in America? Only one wasn't. Name your favorite type of music and why. Metal. I for one just like the sound, and I find it very therapeutic when I'm especially mad or sad. Even when I'm in a good mood, I just enjoy it. I also feel that a lot of metal songs tell interesting stories and/or have very poetic lyrics. Do you own or have you read, or thought of reading any self-help books? I haven't, but I've considered it. Can you breakdance? Definitely not. Have you ever read a book and not understood it? If so which one? Yes. We were assigned this one war novel in middle school that was FUCKING AWFUL, like I was checked out the whole time. I don't remember its name or anything. Have you ever watched a movie and not understood it? If so which one? Yes; the Warcraft movie I mentioned in a recent survey. Orcs and their fucking deep-ass voice that I couldn't understand. Do you blowdry your hair? No. Tell me about your dream last night. Omfgggggg y'all. So, there's one invert pet that I've never understood the keeping appeal of, and that's giant centipedes. Their bites are notoriously excruciating, and they are just SO goddamn fast. Well, for some godforsaken reason, I wanted one as a pet. Got one, and it immediately got loose. Guess who wanted to shit herself lmao. Centipedes are very cool, but only from a distance, ya feel? Have you ever stayed in a fancy high-class rich hotel? No. Have you ever stayed in a rent-by-the-hour motel? I don't think so. Describe the worst fight you’ve ever been in whether physical or verbal. I'm not entirely sure about my *worst*, but I know it was with Mom. We've had a few. Have you heated any food in your microwave today? Yeah, a shrimp alfredo Lean Cuisine bowl. Do you own any items of clothing with cartoon characters on them? Yes. Have you ever played Animal Crossing? No, it doesn't seem like my kinda game. Do you own anything (e.g jewelry, accessories) with your initial on it? Yes, but none of which I personally bought because I don't really like them. Do you own any cats or dogs? What are their names? I have a cat named Roman. <3 Have you added any books to your shelves lately? Which? No. Have you bought any new cosmetics or toiletries lately? Which? No. Do your pets have a specific type of food that they prefer? Roman will eat whatever cat food he's given, while Venus, like your average ball python, is a picky eater. Like when I first got her, she wouldn't eat for almost a year because I just couldn't find a method through which she'd accept food. Now she consistently takes frozen/thawed small rats that have actually sat in warm water (versus doing it by hand under running water), and she generally won't strike it unless it's offered to her by tongs, but not dangling by the tail. Picky, picky miss thang. What's your favourite variety of apple? I'm not very particular about flavor so long as the apple is crisp. I canNOT do soft apples. Which of your physical features do you receive the most compliments about? My hair.