#fav♡

[galaxymagick]

231121 sbs power fm cultwo show | ©Hello__MY_Mus

[petaltexturedskies]

Mary Oliver, from "Dogfish" in New and Selected Poems

[lakemuse]

[oceanicwriting]

smile for the camera.

summary: ever since you confessed to your friend that one of your fantasies was to record a sex tape, everything has been strange. one day, after finishing the week, he is waiting for you in your dorm with a camera and ready to do whatever he wants with it.

pairing(s): bsf!lorenzo berkshire × fem!reader

a/n: second lorenzo fic! i liked this one a lot more than the last one. i hope you enjoy it ;-).

+18 smut, masturbation (f!m receiving), oral sex (m!receiving), doggy, praising, cursing

ㅤㅤㅤit's been a week since you confessed to lorenzo berkshire, your best friend at hogwarts, that recording yourself having sex was one of your fantasies. whenever you remembered it, a shiver ran through your body. although he had made fun of it the night you confessed it, he hasn't said anything else since then, maybe because you've avoided him or he knew the jokes made you feel bad.

ㅤㅤㅤ—everything okay? —you look at your potions desk mate, luna lovegood, who has her eyes filled with worry—. i’ve been talking to you for a while now.

ㅤㅤㅤyou nod frantically, assuring her that you’ve been thinking about something else, but nothing is happening.

ㅤㅤㅤthinking about what? lorenzo and your best kept secret.

ㅤㅤㅤwhen class ends, you know that it wasn’t just luna who had noticed your disconnection from the real world, being called by master slughorn to ask if something was wrong outside of class. of course, you lie, because nothing would be more embarrassing than admitting what was eating away your thoughts.

ㅤㅤㅤwhen you return to your dorm, your books hugged to your chest and shuffling through the exhausting week, you could only think about how much you wanted to hide in the sheets of your bed until monday. that wasn't going to be possible because lorenzo is leaning outside your door waiting for you to arrive.

ㅤㅤㅤ—what are you doing? —you question, instantly catching his attention—. everyone can see you here.

ㅤㅤㅤ—come on, it's not like they don't know we're friends.

ㅤㅤㅤyou deny, opening your bedroom door and noticing that your roommates aren't there.

ㅤㅤㅤ—no, but imagine what are they going to think if you wait for me outside my bedroom.

ㅤㅤㅤhe smirks at your unusual reaction. in any other situation, you would have greeted him with a huge smile, inviting him in to hang out and talk all afternoon. the problem is that this wasn't just any situation.

ㅤㅤㅤ—i need to talk to you —he says. you're standing, holding the door to stop him from passing—. it's important.

ㅤㅤㅤyou look up at him, noticing the dark spots under his eyes. lorenzo berkshire, who always had such perfectly smooth skin, had dark circles under his eyes as if he hadn’t slept properly in days.

ㅤㅤㅤ—please. —his eyes make you flinch, pushing yourself aside so he can pass—. thank you.

ㅤㅤㅤwhen you’re both inside, you close the door behind you, and lorenzo sits down on your bed. you stand a step away from him, waiting for him to start the conversation.

ㅤㅤㅤ—i imagine you already know what i want to talk about, —he says, relaxing into his spot—. about your fantasy.

ㅤㅤㅤthe mere mention of your secret makes your cheeks flush a bright red, making you uneasy at the way he’s looking at you from his position.

ㅤㅤㅤneither of you had admitted that there was something much bigger than friendship between you. lorenzo had never accepted it for fear of losing you, but you for fear of getting hurt. you knew each other too well to know that any relationship beyond friendship might not last long. although he had found a possible solution that would manage to silence the force that attracts you.

ㅤㅤㅤ—i'm sorry if i made you feel bad with what i said, but... was it necessary to avoid me all week? did you think i wouldn't notice?

ㅤㅤㅤ—enzo, it wasn't because of that. i mean, yes, you made me feel bad for judging me. it's just that i was embarrassed to see you again.

ㅤㅤㅤhe sighs, letting a soft laugh escape his lips.

ㅤㅤㅤ—you should have told me.

ㅤㅤㅤyou smile, shrugging and looking him straight in the eyes. then you notice lorenzo rummaging through his black and green cloak, pulling out of the darkness a black device that you can't identify until he lets it rest on your bed. a video camera. lorenzo damn berkshire had just brought a video camera into your bedroom.

ㅤㅤㅤ—why did you bring that? —you question, looking for the door behind you to escape.

ㅤㅤㅤ—listen to me, please, listen to me —he begs, getting up from the bed to approach you—. your fantasy... your fantasy could help us take all the weight off our backs.

ㅤㅤㅤyou look at him, stopping your hand on the door handle.

ㅤㅤㅤ—i know you can feel it. i can tell how you long for something to happen between us. isn't that right?

ㅤㅤㅤ—what do you mean?

ㅤㅤㅤhis smile widens when your hand stops holding the door, lowering your defenses at his proximity. he looked cute when he smiled, showing all his teeth, reaching his cheekbones and making his small brown eyes shine.

ㅤㅤㅤ—that you and i can take advantage of your fantasy to get rid of what we want —he says, his hand caressing your cheek to remove a small lock of hair—. if you just say yes.

ㅤㅤㅤyour hand reaches for the door handle again, but this time, it is to emit a soft click that locks the door. then, your hands wander over lorenzo's chest, removing the cape that falls to the floor and the tie. when you both reach the bed, he falls with a huge smile drawn on his face, eager to feel you, touch you, listen to you, and taste you as he had long hoped.

ㅤㅤㅤyou remain standing, looking at him lying on the bed in such an appetizing way that you can feel your panties getting wet. he knew exactly how to put you that way, although you had never done it.

ㅤㅤㅤ—record me —you whisper, making the boy's eyes shine at the order—. focus on me.

ㅤㅤㅤhe reaches for the camera at the edge of the bed, turning it on and starting to record. through the small screen, he watches you take off your cape, tie, and blouse that was squeezing your bra.

ㅤㅤㅤ—don't take off your skirt —he says, patting her waist twice—. get on here.

ㅤㅤㅤyou obey, straddling his member that slowly gets harder with the movements of your hips. lorenzo lowers the camera's focus until he records how your panties rub against his pants, lifting your skirt to get a better view of the bulge that is pressing against you.

ㅤㅤㅤ—how many nights i dreamed of fucking you using your skirt —he says, his voice hoarse and deep making you tremble—. a true beauty.

ㅤㅤㅤ—give me the camera —lorenzo passes it to you, and you focus on him from the head to the end of his chest—. take off your clothes, enzo.

ㅤㅤㅤhe unbuttons his shirt so slowly that you have to look at him angrily, making a narcissistic smile form on his lips and hurry his nakedness. his bare chest looks so exquisite in the lens that your hands can't help but run over his body.

ㅤㅤㅤ—do you like what you see?

ㅤㅤㅤyou nod.

ㅤㅤㅤ—you are so precious, enzo.

ㅤㅤㅤlorenzo snatches the camera from you in one movement, pinning you to the bed with his body. his bare chest collides with yours, and his arm holds the camera inches from your faces facing each other. your breathing mingle with his, lighting a flame deep within your core.

ㅤㅤㅤ—kiss me, lorenzo. please kiss me until i can’t breathe.

ㅤㅤㅤhis lips latch onto yours with a demanding, electrifying force that makes you reciprocate with the same force. his hot tongue thrusts inside your mouth to fight with yours, making you laugh against his lips. lorenzo then sets the camera down on the bed and moves his hand down to your wet panties, moving them aside to massage your clit with his thumb.

ㅤㅤㅤthe sensation runs through your body with an electrifying exquisiteness that makes you moan in his mouth. then, lorenzo kisses your bare chest, sucking some parts of your skin and leaving a last kiss where your skirt begins. then, he stands up, his hand still working on making you writhe against the massage of his finger.

ㅤㅤㅤ—smile for the camera, beautiful —he says, taking the camera to focus on your face when it stops being touched by his hands—. do you want me to record what i do?

ㅤㅤㅤlorenzo brings two fingers to your mouth so you can fill them with saliva and suck them before bringing them to your entrance. the simple image of the boy with the camera in his hands, pointing towards your tight pussy under your skirt and bringing his fingers to fuck you was enough to make you shudder.

ㅤㅤㅤ—here we go. —he runs his fingers from your clit to your entrance, making you squirm eagerly for his touch—. fuck, you're so hot.

ㅤㅤㅤand lorenzo makes his way inside you. his fingers sink so deep that it's impossible to avoid the gasp that leaves your lips. he pushes in the right places inside you to make you moan louder and louder, stretching your insides when he separates his fingers a little and slowly masturbates your clit with his thumb. the sensations were endless at that moment.

ㅤㅤㅤ—you look so damn gorgeous. —the camera paints your face again, this time more messy and whimpering from the intrusion of his hand—. take off your bra.

ㅤㅤㅤyour hands, shaking from the waves of pleasure that run through your body, manage to take off your garment. he films your breasts moving with you from the shudder, tasting from the screen the perfect shape and size he had dreamed of having in his hands. although that would have to wait.

ㅤㅤㅤ—touch yourself, —he says, his thick, demanding voice filling the entire room—. come on, don’t be shy.

ㅤㅤㅤyour hands travel to your breasts, squeezing and playing with your nipples as lorenzo’s hand continues to do its thing. there are so many sounds mixing together that it’s impossible to focus on what’s happening, making you squirm more and more and whimper at the sensations spreading throughout your body. you were feeling all your libido build up in your core, right where lorenzo moved his hand one last time, and your whole body convulses.

ㅤㅤㅤthe camera in lorenzo's hands doesn't waste a second in recording your wet and satisfied pussy, to focus on your face trying to catch your breath.

ㅤㅤㅤ—i can't believe you're letting me see this, gorgeous. so perfect when you cum in my hand, don't you think? —he says, leaving the camera on the bed at the height of your hips—. i'd like it more if you cum on my cock.

ㅤㅤㅤhe catches your mouth with an initial delicacy that turns into a murderous desire. your tongue fights against his, seeking much more by attracting him from the neck. lorenzo tangles one hand in your hair, and the other travels to your waist to turn you on the bed.

ㅤㅤㅤ—should we try? —he asks, running a hand down your back to your ass, removing your skirt along the way—. you don’t know how long i waited to see this ass of yours smack into my pelvis while i’m taking you.

ㅤㅤㅤ—who’s a needy boy? —you can hear his laugh behind your back and his hand lift your hip to leave your entire ass exposed. his hand still tangled in your hair forces you up—. i’m going to take you so good, enzo. i promise.

ㅤㅤㅤ—i know you will. —he turns the camera screen to notice that it’s at the perfect angle—. and i want you to see it.

ㅤㅤㅤlorenzo forces you to bury your cheek into the bed so that you can see the small screen where you can notice your body against his. he unbuttons his pants, letting them fall down his legs at the same time that he takes his erect cock, masturbating himself. you push your ass back in search of helping him with that.

ㅤㅤㅤ—let me help you —you whisper, feeling it slide down your buttocks, staining it with the accumulated precum—. e-enzo.

ㅤㅤㅤhe growls at the feeling of your soft, warm buttocks squeezing his member, generating a gentle rocking that you squeeze from time to time. the view was like any other dream, although this time everything was much more perfect.

ㅤㅤㅤ—i'm going to lose my mind, love. i've wanted to have this view for so long, and now you're giving it to me with honors.

ㅤㅤㅤ—because i know you'll make me feel good —you whisper, lorenzo searching in your folds for a little moisture to separate and spread it along the length of his cock—. i'm so ready for you.

ㅤㅤㅤlorenzo positions you, one of his hands gripping his member and the other, squeezing your waist to keep you in the perfect position. he slowly makes his way inside you, scraping every corner of your entrance with pain that turns to pleasure instantly after.

ㅤㅤㅤ—are you okay?

ㅤㅤㅤyou nod, causing lorenzo’s hips to move back and thrust into you again. the growl combined with your soft moan is enough to make him lose his mind, beginning to increase the movement of his hips against your ass. each time he thrust into you again, he did with more force and speed than the previous one, taking your hip to deepen the shock of your body against his.

ㅤㅤㅤclap, clap, clap. the sound getting clearer and louder makes your head hurt, mixing exquisitely with lorenzo's embarrassed sighs and moans behind you. seeing everything from the camera screen was stirring up all the sensations in you much more than you wanted to admit, squeezing his cock inside you and moaning louder and louder.

ㅤㅤㅤ—you're doing perfect. keep it up.

ㅤㅤㅤlorenzo tangles one of his hands in your hair again, forcing you to get up to reach your neck, ear, and shoulders with the wetness of his mouth. his movements have not stopped at any time, attacking your breasts with his free hand and kissing your cheeks softly.

ㅤㅤㅤ—l-lorenzo —you moan, stretching your arms back to hold onto his neck.

ㅤㅤㅤ—tell me, baby. what's wrong?

ㅤㅤㅤhe can feel you squeezing him the same way he squeezed your fingers a moment ago.

ㅤㅤㅤ—j-just keep doing that. keep moving. —your hands tie themselves in his hair, pulling his head closer to yours—. kiss me.

ㅤㅤㅤlorenzo smiles at the pleading tone of your soft voice. his free hand stops squeezing your nipples, moving down your abdomen until he finds your clit.

ㅤㅤㅤ—as you wish.

ㅤㅤㅤhis mouth captures yours at the same time his hand begins to massage your overstimulated clit. you were both restless, close to exploding and throbbing in every imaginable part of your sweaty bodies. your mouths move messily over each other at the endless moans escaping you and lorenzo's faster movement against you.

ㅤㅤㅤ—shit.

ㅤㅤㅤand your entire body tightens in a spasm that makes your juices explode all over lorenzo's cock.

ㅤㅤㅤ—just a l-little more, love —he says, still moving and growling against your ear. your entire body is exhausted, but you try to keep up with the pace that lorenzo hasn't stopped—. i'm close...

ㅤㅤㅤhe lets go of you, letting your body fall against the mattress and pulling out of you to masturbate a little to wet your back with the semen that shoots out of his member. you can hear him catching his breath standing there, burning your broken body on the bed with his gaze and laughing softly.

ㅤㅤㅤ—wasn’t this fun? —he says, you can see him taking the camera, while his other hand helps you turn on the bed—. what a dreamy view.

ㅤㅤㅤyour cheeks heat up because now that everything was over, the embarrassment begins to form in the pit of your stomach.

ㅤㅤㅤ—one last kiss?

ㅤㅤㅤyour eyes travel down his body standing there. and maybe you could take advantage of the situation a little more, because if you were going to make a video like that, you had to do everything to save the memory, not only on that camera.

ㅤㅤㅤyou move on top of the bed, getting closer to the edge. one of your hands hugs his flaccid member, making him jump a little. the boy's expression is the one you expected, confused and unfinished.

ㅤㅤㅤ—one last kiss —you say, just before kissing the tip of his penis that was beginning to harden in front of your eyes.

ㅤㅤㅤ—what...

ㅤㅤㅤyour tongue moistens its entire length, making it harden instantly. then, smiling as if you were about to try your favorite sweet, you embrace his cock with your hot mouth. one of your hands helps you cover the length you can't, allowing yourself to suck on what your hand shamelessly masturbates him. he moans every now and then, pointing the camera at your face.

ㅤㅤㅤyou kiss, suck, and taste, wanting to remember every part of his length in the most secret part of your mind. lorenzo grabs your hair and sighs before pushing his hips against you, announcing that he needs much more to be able to finish inside your mouth.

ㅤㅤㅤ—take it well, babe. —your eyes fill with tears at the feeling of his tip hitting your throat—. you're doing so well. don't be afraid.

ㅤㅤㅤlorenzo's hips pushing deeper and deeper, mouth salivating from the edge of your lips and camera pointing from every possible angle. everything was happening so fast that your blurry eyes couldn't notice much more than lorenzo's glorious sounds.

ㅤㅤㅤ—so delicious and appetizing —he whispers, noticing how your mouth does its best to keep up with his own movement—. incredible that you let me see this.

ㅤㅤㅤyour tongue runs over the tip of his member that begins to tremble inside your mouth. lorenzo growls, letting go of your hair and clenching his hands on the camera that continues to point in your direction.

ㅤㅤㅤ—almost...

ㅤㅤㅤone last thrust is enough for all of lorenzo's semen to end up burning in your mouth. his brown gaze observes you without being able to believe the remains of substance that escape from your lips, while the rest travels from your mouth to the bottom of your stomach.

ㅤㅤㅤ—you're going to drive me completely crazy.

ㅤㅤㅤyou laugh, running your forearm over the stains on your mouth.

ㅤㅤㅤ—enough recording —you say, raising your hand to reach the camera—. enzo!

ㅤㅤㅤ—let me record you a little longer or i'm afraid i'll forget your body.

ㅤㅤㅤyou get up from the bed to reach the device and end the recording in the middle of a laugh. you look at lorenzo, who still looks at you mesmerized by the nakedness of your body.

ㅤㅤㅤ—lorenzo, you could never forget my body —you say, pulling him with you to the bed completely undone. your hand brushes away some strands of hair on his face—. because if one day you forget, you can come find me.

ㅤㅤㅤlorenzo looks at you, one of his hands holding all his weight on you and the other clenched on your hip.

ㅤㅤㅤ—you will make me the happiest man in the world.ㅤ

[thebrainrotsreal]

Freeing myself from the shackles of an organized comic format to get this idea out of my head!! Also, just follow the numbers if the layout is too confusing otherwise, but basically I want Spectra to be Jazz's Nemesis so bad. It just makes sense.

SO: the hypothetical episode's showdown would be them battling, and no Danny, he's already got beef with a packers obsessed billionaire. Now, Spectra's got the high ground with overwhelming power, but she's sloppier and easily irritated because of it! Jazz then outsmarts her, getting her angry enough to make enough mistakes to be corned and canned by the thermos.

Also minor spelling error ugh, meant to put "no one could", not "no could".

[linolinoing]

♡ favourite chris looks: 6/∞ → W KOREA JUNE 2024

[ann-chovi]

Brain rot is strong- multiple wips cooking (one of which probably won't get posted even when it is done hahaha).

[lachatalovematcha]

🧇🎀🌈（｡>ω<｡） ☆＊：．｡．⭐️☘️ＮＯ ＣＡＴＳ★ＮＯ ＬＩＦＥ🧇🎀🌈（｡>ω<｡）！ ☆＊：．｡．ニャーニャー🎀🍮⭐️喜びも悲しみも꒰ఎ ♥︎ ໒꒱人はみな🍎🌈満開に 咲いた夢忘れはしない🍎🌈🎀🐱🍊﹙☆﹚過ぎ去った季節新しい道 歩き始める﹙☆﹚🎀🐱🍊晴れの日も雨の日も🍓☘️（｡>ω<｡）！ ☆＊：．｡．Ｈａｐｐｙ Ｎｅｋｏ

[jeanbie]

Omg hi I don’t know if you take nsfw requests but I was wondering about aot’s favorite positions🥺 your writing is so so good!!

honestly.....i thought this was hard !!! i can't see any of them being overly picky on positions or even having all time favs; over the eras of aot, they all change so much it's actually hard to say...so i tried my best to think semi-objectively :3 absolutely feel free to disagree with ANY of these, everyone has diff interpretations (and i love all of em)

warnings: fem!reader (sorry), sexual content ofc, if u want the girl vers lemme know :D

AOT BOYS & FAV POSITIONS ★ masterlist.

MISSIONARY

“you look so fucking pretty right now—” is the only thing they can think of saying as they bow their chest over yours, watching your face twist as their cock sinks deeper into your cunt. one of your legs is wrapped firmly around their waist or hanging up over their shoulder; this way, they can watch you writhe and whimper whilst also watching the way you suck them up nicely, the way your body tenses and flinches with every thrust they give...

— jean, zeke, niccolo

RIDING

there is no greater joy than leaning back and watching you do your thing. their hands are on your waist, smoothing around your hips and stomach in an effort to distract themselves from simply filling you up and going wild — they love to watch you sinking down on them, your back arched and breasts rising with every rise and fall. they meet your hips by raising their own, finding pleasure in watching your face pull into contorted shapes, hearing the moans and whimpers from your mouth. from down here, they like the control they can have, and on occasion, the submission of doing whatever you tell them to

— levi, armin, porco

BENT OVER

if they can bend you over it, they can fuck you on it. tables, beds, tree trunks, fences, desks, sinks — it’s like they’re trying to fuck you on every possible or available surface they can find. they just love to see the sight of your ass tilted up, hips pressing into a hard surface, legs spread in a desperate attempt to stay upright, all while they drive themselves into you however fast or hard they want to. they can be as gentle or as rough as they want to be; running their hands up your back and between your shoulder blades, or smacking your ass and pulling your hair — everything about fucking you from behind is perfect for them, and by the sounds of things, perfect for you

— eren, floch

[bonus] s4!eren loves to fuck you over a sink or a vanity, anywhere he can pull you back by your hair and make you watch in the mirror. his eyes never leave yours through the glass, his lips whispering the dirtiest things he can possibly think of just to get you to cum around him, to watch yourself unravel in his hands

RIDING THEIR FACE

they are a seat. that’s all they are, all they ever want to be — a seat for their perfect partner. they could spend hours with their tongue up your cunt, hands pressed into your ass or hips as you ride the features on their face. they would happily die of suffocation down here, just as long as you were happy and they got to taste their favourite thing in the world

— connie, onyankopon

GIVING THEM A BLOWJOB

every position is good with their partner, but absolutely nothing beats you on your knees between their legs, their cock in your mouth. a hand in your hair, on your cheek or the back of your neck, they love to watch you take care of them, especially after a particularly long and otherwise bad day. whether it’s simply between their legs as they sit, or as they lie down before bed — or under a desk when there are other people around, nothing will ever top the feeling of your mouth running itself up their dick, or how warm and wet it feels as you take them. 

— ERWIN, bertolt

REVERSE COWGIRL

“comfy, darlin?” with their hands on your hips, they love to help you sink down onto them, using your hips as handles to bring you up and down at whatever pace they fancy. they just love the sight of your face turning back to him with a pleasured look, the muscles in your back tensing whenever he hits that perfect spot up your pussy. seeing you looking like this makes him feel so proud — you’re taking him like its no problem, your ass bouncing on his stomach, toes curling as you set your hands on his legs for balance. he’ll let you take control until you tire, and then the fun can really begin

— reiner, kenny (help)

[kayla-claw]

Agere moodboards: Day 6

(late because I had a bad mental health dayy...oh and I went out to eat after the bad day so good bad day. But bad)

[hyyhhope]

even if we are apart, our hearts are connected

cr. namuspromised

[mintjuliee]

Kyalin + messy morning bedhead doodle <3 Ko-fi / Art Tag

[petaltexturedskies]

Anaïs Nin, Little Birds

[polypinks]

bjd pngs dump

pink & white (+ a little bit of blue) ball jointed doll dump f2u, do NOT credit me i got these from picmix

dm / comment for removal

[oceanicwriting]

3 questions.

summary: theodore nott and you have always been rivals. dis you both decided that? no. the circumstances made you hate, and it only took one night away from all the pressures for you to see each other as you really are.

pairing(s): theodore nott x fem!reader

a/n: i thought this would be less serious, but it ended up being very serious... i hope you like it as much as i do! i genuinely think this is one of my favorites.

. . .

ㅤㅤㅤ you look at the ceiling of your room. you can hear the snoring and breathing of your roommates near your ears covered by the pillow. you had tried to sleep for hours, but you hadn't even managed to doze off on the soft mattress of the bed.

ㅤㅤㅤ in the middle of a sigh, you throw the sheets aside and dress the sweatshirt that hung on the desk chair. every time insomnia catches you in its clutches, you go to the same place, seeking shelter in the stars and the huge moon shining over the lake. you walk through the halls, careful not to get caught, arriving at the large astronomy tower minutes later.

ㅤㅤㅤ when your sleeping problems were present, you were always close to the final exams of the semester. between all the subjects you had to study, tutoring for classmates with problems in some subjects, recreational classes, and quidditch practices, it was impossible not to have serious problems controlling stress.

ㅤㅤㅤ and, on top of all that, there was him. theodore nott with his perfect grades. theodore nott with his scathing comments every time you receive a grade. theodore nott with that disinterested look that remains stuck in the back of your mind. it was impossible not to talk about him when the bubble of academic pressure was about to burst.

ㅤㅤㅤ you and theodore have known each other for years. your families are from the most renowned pureblood lines in the wizarding world, and even if they claimed to be good friends, they were always pushing their children's competition. you were only the ten in a long line of brothers, parents, uncles, or grandparents who had to compete. if theodore learned to play an instrument, you had to learn one. if theodore did a sport, you had to do one. if theodore did anything, you had to do the same.

ㅤㅤㅤ you were good at keeping up with your family's commands, or you were until this last year, where the weight of your effort began to hurt in every part of your body. your dream was to live off the art you could make with a frame and jars of paints, however, you knew that the honor of your name depended on the position you wanted to get in their precious company.

ㅤㅤㅤ you sigh, lighting a cigarette, as you rest on the railing.

ㅤㅤㅤ —don’t the stars look beautiful? —his voice makes your skin crawl, forcing you to turn around. he had arrived so silently that you were surprised to see him less than five steps away—. smoking on the astronomy tower? who would have thought?

ㅤㅤㅤ theodore has a half smile that makes you want to slam a fist into his face, and he thinks about how pathetic you looked in pajamas like that.

ㅤㅤㅤ —no more —you say, taking a drag of the cigarette and trying to walk away—. i’m out.

ㅤㅤㅤ theodore laughs. the sound that escapes his lips does nothing but ignite a wave of confusion or rage that makes you freeze.

ㅤㅤㅤ —escaping. always escaping. —he approaches, leaning on the railing a few feet away from you—. we hate each other, i get it. do i hate that you're here when i want to be alone? a little. if you like coming here to think or some shit like that, i won't ask you to leave.

ㅤㅤㅤ you could have gone back to the bedroom with the intention of catching up on sleep in some other way, but there's a force that invites you to stay. is it because of the way his voice had challenged you? maybe. but in that place that had often accompanied you, were your greatest enemy, and yet, you remain four meters away.

ㅤㅤㅤ almost thirty minutes have passed, neither of you have said anything, and theodore had lit his own cigarette seconds after being on your third. you can notice that he smokes more slowly, holding it between his lips more delicately than your hurried hands. on the contrary, he sees that you smoke cigarettes after cigarettes with agonizing desperation.

ㅤㅤㅤ —why do you smoke?

ㅤㅤㅤ —we’re not doing this —you answer, dismissing the question instantly.

ㅤㅤㅤ theodore looks at you, raising his eyebrows and settling himself against the railing so he can see you better.

ㅤㅤㅤ the questions are simple. did theodore hate you? probably. did you hate theodore? yes. had you decided to hate each other? no. it’s clear that neither of you, from all that life of competition, had had the courage to get to know the rival beyond the heavy comments. both of you at some vulnerable moment had thought about what would happen if one day you decided to meet each other. really meet each other.

ㅤㅤㅤ —why are you always in such a bad mood? don’t you think it eats at your soul?

ㅤㅤㅤ you laugh, pulling a new cigarette out of your pocket, reluctant to speak. theodore takes the liberty of throwing a spark that hits your hand and makes the cigarette slip through your fingers to fall into nothingness.

ㅤㅤㅤ —are you kidding me? —you question, looking at him with a frown. his smile has not left his lips at any moment, looking at you as if you were the most entertaining animal on the planet—. i thought we were going to pretend that neither of us were here.

ㅤㅤㅤ —it got boring having you here next to me without bothering you —he mumbles. you sigh, noticing that you have run out of things to smoke—. did you run out, stella?

ㅤㅤㅤ you don’t say anything at the nickname, avoiding theodore from noticing how irritated you are just minutes away from exchanging words. he digs into his pocket, extending his arm in your direction with a new cigarette between his fingers.

ㅤㅤㅤ —i can give you one of mine —he says.

ㅤㅤㅤ you look at him, frowning and doubting his good faith.

ㅤㅤㅤ —what will you ask me in return?

ㅤㅤㅤ the truth is you had never seen him like this. most of the time together, you were as tense as two huge rocks full of hate, but now he looks so serene that it awakens an unknown interest inside you.

ㅤㅤㅤ —nothing, why would i want something? —he says, but as soon as you make the slightest attempt to approach him, he speaks again—. although yes, i want something. three questions or three answers. i ask one, and you ask another until we get to the third. isn’t that easy enough?

ㅤㅤㅤ questions? why would theodore nott want to ask you three questions? why is he looking for answers? and why were you thinking so hard to get one more cigarette? you knew that wanting a cigarette so desperately wasn't healthy. you were one hundred percent sure that you had a serious addiction problem and you wouldn't be able to change it for a long time.

ㅤㅤㅤ —okay.

ㅤㅤㅤ theodore smiles, putting the cigarette in his pants pocket until it's time to give it to you. he looks up at the sky as if trying to think of his first question.

ㅤㅤㅤ —why do you smoke?

ㅤㅤㅤ you look at him with a raised eyebrow, causing a sarcastic smile to appear on his face. theodore had just discovered that the red on your cheeks increases with your obvious annoyance with him.

ㅤㅤㅤ —because i want to. —you both knew it was a lie, and you ignore his suggestive look, asking for more information—. my turn. shouldn’t you be with some girl on top of you?

ㅤㅤㅤ he takes a drag on his cigarette and looks in the direction of the darkened castle. there’s a hint of amusement in his gaze that makes you wonder what’s causing it.

ㅤㅤㅤ —nothing can assure you that i wasn’t with a woman before coming here. still, i’m impressed that’s the vision you have of me. a guy who sleeps with a new girl every weekend —he says, walking two steps closer to you—. honestly, it’s exam season, i’m not really interested in rolling around with other girls when i’m thinking about how to beat you.

ㅤㅤㅤ there’s a hint of remorse or sadness in his voice that repeats in the back of your mind. somehow, that makes your defenses go down, and you look at him carefully, taking advantage of his ignorance. how crazy would it be if right under his eyes there were three moles identical to the three marías?

ㅤㅤㅤ —why do you smoke? —the confusion in your gaze is obvious, but theodore just stays there—. yes, that's my second question.

ㅤㅤㅤ you don't know if it's because his eyes are chained to yours or the tranquility that his whole body emanates as he takes two more steps closer to you, but you feel a wave of peace that only manages to make a series of answers travel to your mind. there were so many reasons, so many pains or ideas that you wanted to turn off.

ㅤㅤㅤ —because i hope that it frees me. i don't dislike it, but i don't like it either —you admit, smiling in the middle of a sigh—. i smoke because there's always something that haunts me, and i never know how to stop it.

ㅤㅤㅤ theodore can see how your gaze falls to the ground, feeling ashamed of what you had just said. could he understand it? yes, of course he did. after all, he was just like you in many ways and had used the same self-destruction techniques for a long time.

ㅤㅤㅤ you look at him. you know he's waiting for your second question, but you haven't thought about it, and you dedicate yourself to observing the sky. the twinkling stars from blue to yellow tones, immense moon that looks like a toenail and shooting stars that disappear the second they travel.

ㅤㅤㅤ —why are you here? —you whisper, turning to see how his eyes shine.

ㅤㅤㅤ theodore takes two more steps in your direction. every time he gets closer, you find some detail that interests you. moles in areas you had never noticed, spots from the light that stand out with the contrast of their paleness and scars with stories.

ㅤㅤㅤ —i couldn't sleep.

ㅤㅤㅤ —so you weren’t with a girl? —you ask, feeling your heart race as the words slip out without any thought.

ㅤㅤㅤ —you just used up your last question. —you frown, he steps closer, standing two steps away—. you asked three questions. so, it’s my turn.

ㅤㅤㅤ —what? no, that’s not...

ㅤㅤㅤ —you have no right to ask another question.

ㅤㅤㅤ you try to say something else, but theodore has a new air that leaves you completely silent. it’s unbearable.

ㅤㅤㅤ —and no. the answer to your question is no. i’m curious about your insistence, but i’m not going to waste my last question —he says, throwing his whistle to the ground—. why are we still fighting battles that aren’t ours to fight?

ㅤㅤㅤ your eyelashes flutter rapidly in bewilderment. you’re envious of how calm and carefree he is. why couldn’t you be like him? why did he seem to stop trying so hard a long time ago? why were you still trying so hard to catch up to him?

ㅤㅤㅤ —i’ll be honest with you. you don’t look like the worst person on the planet. you always look perfect, your friends adore you, and if i asked anyone, they’d say you’re an angel. why are we still fighting over something as stupid as our grades?

ㅤㅤㅤ theodore keeps staring at you, and you can’t think straight. there’s no honest thought in your head about your hatred. really none. you didn’t hate the girls who made fun of you during freshman year or your strict parents or grandparents. you didn't hate chocolate as much as you don't like its sweetness, much less smoking when you hate the smoke inside your mouth. why do you hate him?

ㅤㅤㅤ —it's been so many years, theodore. don't you think it's foolish to look back at this point?

ㅤㅤㅤ he shakes his head, smiling softly and looking out at the horizon.

ㅤㅤㅤ —it would be foolish to never have asked you. i hated you when i was little because you were always one step ahead of me. —you shake your head because it's not how you remember it—. don't look at me like that. we both know that, even though i managed to beat you in all those shitty activities our parents forced us to do, you always make my world tremble.

ㅤㅤㅤ his gaze is fixed on the horizon, avoiding crossing glances with you.

ㅤㅤㅤ —i don't know how not to hate you. i grew up living in your shadow for my own parents, theo. they told me over and over that anything i would do, you would do it better. do i hate you now? probably a little less than yesterday, but i feel like i have to keep winning.

ㅤㅤㅤ he laughs, turning to look at you from head to toe with a smile that you could classify in a list of beautiful things.

ㅤㅤㅤ there is a silence that embraces both of you. he is so close that, when you turn to draw the dark mountains with large shadows of trees, you can feel the heat that his body gives off. you would have wanted to escape. however, you do not move for a warmth that envelops you comfortingly. maybe you could bear it.

ㅤㅤㅤ after an hour, sleep begins to weigh on your eyelids, closing softly every now and then. then you stretch, catching theodore’s attention, who hadn’t said or moved a muscle in the entire time.

ㅤㅤㅤ —i think i’ll go to sleep —you say, walking awkwardly towards the exit.

ㅤㅤㅤ theodore nods his head and says—: i’ll stay a little longer.

ㅤㅤㅤ you nod, waving goodbye. on the short walk to the stairs you can only think about how nice the last hour had been. then, motivated by a force greater than your own conscience, you turn. theodore was already looking in your direction.

ㅤㅤㅤ —we should do this again —you whisper, gripping the stair railing—. next time, i’ll win.

ㅤㅤㅤ —it wasn’t a competition.

ㅤㅤㅤ —whatever you say.

ㅤㅤㅤ he watches you disappear, running down the stairs with a smile that's impossible to avoid. that little annoyance he had felt of you being in the place that always gives him loneliness disappeared, and he eagerly waits for it to happen again. besides, you had completely forgotten about the cigarette he was supposed to give you.