#fatal smoke 4

[femuirdris]

has anyone checked on seliph is he ok

[divineandmajesticinone]

4 MINUTES (2024) I EP. 7 Fuaiz Thanawat as Tonkla

[vyragosa]

i want higgs-amelie to be “noble”

doesn’t mean not doing something atrocious, “automated humanity assistance” horrendous? the act of helping is fundamentally pushy, automation of humanity in the face of the last death stranding to survive it

“amelie lied about the death stranding being averted, surely,

i can save the whole world”

[harmonicloverboy]

*remembers that i have a crush on this guy* oh fuck i gotta give him a good kit NOW

[yangwns]

silent stalker – part one

parts: 1/?

pairing: heeseung x fem!reader

warning: suggestive content, smoking, mentioned blood and weapons, swearing

genre: dark romance & thriller

summary: you are a quiet girl who's enjoying your summer vacation. your favorite place is the library to read books and to see the shy boy who works there. but little did you know that the shy boy was obsessed with you.

this is the written version of "silent stalker" on tiktok by @yangwns.

The soft hum of music was heard inside your bedroom. Warm sunlight bathed your walls and clean bedsheets with a soft vanilla color. Your feet swayed gently in the air as you lay on your stomach with your eyes focused on your laptop screen. The sunlight inside your bedroom was comforting, different compared to the searing heat of outside. It was late July, college was just around the corner. You were writing a blog on your laptop, it was like a diary to you. Everyday, you would write about how your day went, what you feel, or even up to what your inner desires were.

Inside your ears, you could hear The Neighborhood's "Sweater Weather" playing. As you worked on your blog, you could see a cup of ice from the corner of your eye. You hoped that the ice would melt in this summer heat, it didn't. The particles of water dripped from the cup, creating a small puddle of cold water around it. A sigh pressed against your lips, your idea to pass your time on your blog until the ice melts was a bad idea. Your eyes drift to the time, 4:35 PM. You couldn't help the feeling of the corners of your lips curling into a soft smile, it was time. It was time to go to your favorite place, the library.

You jump off your bed and get ready to go to your local library. When you get up from bed, you quickly get dressed in whatever you could find in your closet. You were wearing a grey jacket over a simple white t-shirt and high waisted shorts with the classical black chuck taylor tennis shoes. As you left your house, you begin to think why you thought it was a great idea to wear a jacket in the summer. When you start walking, you start to feel your skin become sticky from the humidity outside. The fabric of the jacket sticking to you. But you weren't going to take it off. The jacket you wore was an oversized grey jacket, the musk scent of wood still imprinted on it. It reminded you of him, Park Sunghoon, your ex.

Your thoughts were now on your ex, tears pricked inside your eyes as you thought of him. But all of those thoughts faded when you came across the familair building in front of you. Your feet came to a stop when you see the library, trying to collect yourself before going inside. The emptiness you once felt melted when you thought about your only love, books. But also, the thought of seeing a particular worker. Your cheeks reddened at the thought of him. You didn't know his name or who he was because you were too shy to ask for his name.

You open the door to the library, the sound of a bell chiming rang inside your ears. A gust of air welcomed you as soon as you opened the door. The gust of wind made your long black hair sway, tendrils of hair flowing gently. It made you squeal, feeling surprised at the gust of wind. You suddenly feel your cheeks burn as you hear the hiss of a shush inside the library. Typical librarians. You purse your lips, shoulders caving in at the embarrassment and walked inside.

You start walking inside and are completely mesmerized by the library. You've been hear thousands of times but it never fails to leave you in awe every single time you step inside. You loved the smell of new books, the pages smelled ike a new car. You also loved the soft glow of the lights hanging in different locations. The different color scheme of books was like a piece of art to you. Your feet wandered inside, eyes searching for a new book. The more you searched, the soon did realization hit you that you had no clue where the new released books were. You had walked passed the same isle for the fourth time and still hadn't found that section of books.

You clutch your book bag, determined to find the new books. But after minutes of searching, there was no result. You were at an open space of the library, the middle of it all. You could see every isle and bookshelf from here. You were about to turn to the same isle in which you had come back from when you see a young man sitting at a table. For a split second, you could've sworn that everyone had heard your heart drop. You take a good look at him and see that it's him. The only quiet worker in the library.

His eyes were focused on the laptop screen in front of him, gaze piercing. The man was like a character from the books you've read. But except, he was real. His long slender fingers worked on the keyword, fingertips gently tapping the keys. He had dark hair that framed his slim face, strands of ink hair falling over his glasses. Lips glossed by his tongue, full and almost the same shade of pink like his tongue. He was wearing a white cotton t-shirt, black trousers, and over his t-shirt, a dark blue denim jacket. This man was literally the personification of every single male lead of every book imaginable.

Should I ask him? You ask yourself.

Your mind was pondering whether you should go up to him and ask him for help. Meanwhile your brain was working, your legs were already walking towards him. You wanted to scream at your legs to stop taking action but you now find yourself standing in front of this man. You look down at him, lips quivering as you finally muster the courage to ask. Your heart crept lower, you slowly start to think that your heart is now lying on the ground from the heavy weight you feel on your chest.

"Uhm, excuse me?" You try to get his attention. "Do you know where the new books are?"

And so, you stand there looking like a fucking idiot when the guy doesn't even move a muscle. Your cheeks start to feel hot as you reach out to tap the wood of the table with your fingernail. "Hey. . ."

You suddenly jolt when you hear a soft "huh" coming from the man. The man's eyes were wide, taking something out of his right ear. It was an airpod. His cheeks were a bright red, actually, his whole face red. A pair of dark brown eyes were now locked on you, trembling. Your eyes locked for a second until you hear the loud music coming from his airpod. It was Chase Atlantic's "The Walls". You watch him fumble with his laptop and earbuds, trying to stop the music from playing. When the music stopped, his eyes went back to you.

"W-What do you n-need?" He stuttered, his eyes were now avoiding yours.

"I was wondering if you could help me find the new released books." You answer coyly.

The bashful boy looks at you and nods, rising from his chair. When he stands, he towers over you. He walked past you, catching a whiff of his perfume. You followed him through a long path until you stopped at bookshelf. The boy had his finger up in the air, you looked up and see a sign 'new releases'. You bite your lip, heat creeping up your neck out of the embarrassment. You wanted to run away for looking stupid in front of such an attractive man. But you remained silent, a shy smile on your lips.

You turn to the bookshelf of the new releases and start searching for a book. You wanted to keep your mind away from the quiet stranger, so you kept yourself occupied by looking for a book. Your fingers traced the spines of the books, gentle with them as if each book was a piece of glass. You find a book that catches your eye and reach out to grab it. But when you reach out, another hand reaches for the book as well. Your hands grazed each others, warmth surrounding the side of your hand.

You quickly remove your hand with a sharp gasp. You let the boy take the book, your eyes staring at his fingers. His long fingers clasped around the spine, his pointer finger was extended out. A rose tattoo wrapped around the finger of his right hand, reaching close to the knuckle of his thumb. You find yourself staring a bit too hard to even notice that the book was being handed to you. As soon as your hands reached for the book, a soft chuckle was heard. You look up and see him smiling gently.

"Heeseung. My name is Lee Heeseung." You hear him say, his voice slow and careful.

You stare at him, heat rising across your face. "My name is Y/N."

Heeseung nods in acknowledgment, the corners of his lips quivering as he tried to contain his smile from you. He motioned you to follow him, taking you to the check out desk. When you reach the desk, Heeseung walks behind the desk and checks the book out for you. He is quietly working on the book, stamping the return date on the back of the last page. When he finishes, he returns the book to you with a sheepish smile.

"I didn't think you were into these books." He tells you softly, looking at you with this look inside his eyes that made you freeze.

"I'm sorry?" You ask, feeling flustered.

You looked back at the book and read the title, "Toxic". It was by a New York Times best selling author, Nicole Blanchard. The book was a dark romance book that tied with obsession, passion, and secret desires. Your teeth bit down on your bottom lip, chewing gently as you feel your cheeks warm. You hold the book closely to you and wait for Heeseung's response. He looks at the book and back at you.

"I mean–I didn't think that you would be into dark romance." Heeseung tried to explain himself.

"I'm really not a fan." You say, shrugging.

"What's your favorite genre?" Heeseung suddenly asks you, his voice soft.

"I like slow burn romance." You reply, your fingers grasping the book.

Heeseung walked around the desk to face you. "You should give this book a try. You'll never want to put the book down."

You nod and watch him go back to his work space. Your eyes are on Heeseung for a few seconds, your thoughts running. You shake away your thoughts and find a seat. When you find your seat, you open the book and begin reading. As you read, you couldn't help but feel immersed by every word in the book. Each word made your skin tingle, heat enveloping around your neck and slowly creeping up your toes. It was only you and your book, everything else fell away. But it all came to an end when you hear a voice.

"Y/N, i-it's time for me to close the library." Heeseung told you as he held a pair of keys inside his hand.

Your eyes snap up to see Heeseung by the door, looking at you. When you turn and look at your surroundings, you notice that there was no other soul inside the library except you. Every single light had been turned off except the light hanging above you. You look over to the window and see that the sky was now dark and taunting you. A soft sigh left your lips, it happened again. You had lost yourself in the pages of your book that you hadn't checked the time.

You get up from your chair and start gathering your belongings. When you gather all of your things, you approach the door where Heeseung stood nearby. "I'm so sorry."

Heeseung only smiled and let you walk before him outside the library. He locked the library doors and sees you walking ahead of him. You walk away without saying goodbye, your heart was pounding inside your chest and you couldn't think straight. Your legs took you far to reach your house. And when you reached your house, you ran up the stairs and plopped yourself on your bed. You open your laptop and create a new blog post. Your fingers started to write your minds thoughts, cheeks burning profusely. You couldn't stop think about Heeseung. He was inside your head, unveiling unknown desires inside you that you never knew you had.

Today, I finally spoke to the boy who works at my local library. When I first saw him, I couldn't help but feel this attraction. He pulled me inside and now, I can't get him out of my head. Ever since I saw him a few months ago, he's all I think about.

I think about his scent. It's a warm musk scent that lingers on me, at least I think it does. The scent evokes memories of the ocean. It lingers subtly, yet profoundly coming. The lingering slowly grows and gives into a warm and deep musk. His scent is almost intoxicating, it makes me want to be closer to him.

I also think about his eyes. He has these large doe eyes that appear to be pleading for something. They are dark and alluring. And his lips, oh. . . God. His lips are breathtaking, full and inviting. They are a contrast of soft and intense, promising tenderness and unspoken desires.

Everything about him is tempting.

You let out a long sigh, your whole body relaxed as you let out all of your pending thoughts of the day. Slowly, your eyes became heavy and your whole body gave into the comforting scent of the clean bedsheets and coolness of the pillow below your head that melted the heat away from your skin. As you slept, the night continued. Your laptop remained open, the screen was still on. A notification filled your room, it was a comment on your recent blog.

If you're being tempted. . . would you still go to him? If I were you, I would let myself be tempted and not resist such a fatal attraction. — commented by darkr0ses_

[tiddygame]

Ghoap god type Au part 2!

part 1 /// part 2 /// part 3 /// part 4 /// part 5 /// part 6 /// part 7

i didn’t expect so many people to like this so this is a little addition written stream of consciousness style :)

Weeks have passed and the troops have marched on. Ghost is not very liked amongst his fellow soldiers, most viewing him as something less than human. If they notice the drastic uptick in him sneaking away, they say nothing. Whether it is out of respect, fear, or apathy does not matter.

When they stop somewhere, even if for just a night or two, he always searches the area for overgrown shrines belonging to the god. Now that he is actively seeking them out, he realizes that they’re everywhere.

Damn near every notable landscape was a ruin of what was once a commemoration for the god. Clearings in trees with stone circles on the ground, shallow caves with a pedestal holding forgotten gifts, eye-catching rocks that turned into statues when you paid attention — all for a deity that was now on the brink of death.

On the rare occasion he is unable to find one, he creates one. It was never really anything more than a pile of rocks, but the offerings were still accepted so he took it as a sign of approval. Before, he always ate his meals on the edge of camp, as far away from everyone as he could get while still being in camp. But then he remembered that he didn’t give a shit and would wander further into the woods before sitting down to eat.

Now, it was the same routine but a little less alone. To call some old ass god a friend was a stretch, especially since half of the time it felt more like trying to feed a skittish stray dog, but he enjoyed the time spent “together”. He decided not to think about whether that was an exploitable weakness or if he was going soft and instead tried to enjoy his newfound respite.

Of course, nothing stays happy forever.

When the battle they had been marched towards finally came, Ghost was put on the frontlines, as per usual. This time he felt Different but chalked it up to nerves with feeling like he might have something to lose now.

That morning, he hadn’t received breakfast so the only offering he had been able to provide was a few flowers that were in the area. He felt beyond stupid while picking them, but when they were laid down, the god hadn’t even waited for him to turn away to be able to dramatically accept the offering. They were accepted immediately, with a strong breeze rustling the branches and such an intense feeling flooding through him he’d had to take a step back.

The forgotten god of death likes flowers, apparently.

Within a few hours, he went from wondering if he would now be upgrading his food offerings to include a garnish of whatever flowers he found in the area, to wondering if that would be the last offering the god would ever receive.

The arrow had nestled between plates of his armor, striking him in the lower ribs. He was dying far too slowly for it to have hit anything vital, but he was still dying. He was an okay field medic, but it was that very knowledge that meant he knew he was doomed.

Being nothing more than a weapon, he was not allowed to see the healers the same way everyone else was. As the battle finished with their side unfortunately victorious, he wondered if the general even realized he could be fatally wounded.

The smoke cleared, the injured men were hurried to the medical tents, the general began planning their next attack, and Ghost lay there, dying and forgotten in an open field. He had been looking forward to this moment for so long, but now that he was here, he wondered who would give his god offerings tomorrow. Realizing that in dying, he would be taking the god with him made him feel almost remorseful.

But the darkness was creeping in on his vision and his woes seemed to fall away as did the rest of the world. Perhaps he would be seeing the god soon.

————

He did not expect to wake up, and yet he was staring at the canopy of leaves above him and wondering why Hell looked so nice. When the pounding in his head went away, he sat up slowly, first rolling onto his side and reeling from the pain. When he was able to push himself up into a seated position, he realized that Hell not only looked lovely, but incredibly familiar as well.

Once his vision stopped swirling, he saw that he wasn’t in the afterlife at all, but instead had been lying on the offering table he had just left flowers on that morning. Still barely comprehending what was going on, he scrambled off the shrine. Just because he’d challenge a god to a fistfight doesn’t mean he’s entirely stupid. He still remembers stories that the elders would use to scare him and the other kids — about how anything on the offering table was an offering that could be taken.

He wasn’t interested in becoming a human sacrifice just yet so he fell to the grass and tried to remember what happened. The pain made everything muddied, but he knew for certain he was supposed to be dead. The shrine he had woken on gave some indication of what must’ve happened, though the why of it all was still a mystery.

Would the god of death betray his own domain just for the sake of keeping him alive?

Lifting his shirt and finding a golden scar on what should have been a fatal injury, he found out that yes, yes they would. The pain made it take a good few minutes to stand and he distantly wondered how much power the god had. He’d heard of deities saving their favorite (and in this case, only) follower from the brink of death, but never heard mention of the pain.

He deduced that the god must still be too weak to have done such magic fuckery without repercussions and that the full-body agony must be at least one of those repercussions. As he sat pondering the power level of the being, he went to run his hand through his hair but stopped, feeling something that wasn’t there before.

A flower, tucked behind his ear. One he picked that morning.

The god of death saved him and put a dandelion behind his ear.

————

It wasn't until the next night that he was able to visit the shrine. As expected, he was yelled at for disappearing for several hours but he was too out of it to really hear any of what was being said. The pain would come and go at seemingly random and each spike that made his steps stutter was another reminder of just how close he had been to death.

Waylaid by his duties and own requirements of rest, he finally snuck out with the little dinner he had been given. Part of him was a lot more scared than he’d like to admit, having no idea what the god would want in return for the miracle they’d performed. He really did not want to be indebted to yet another person, much less a god.

It took him much longer than usual to make it to the shrine, slowed by pain and exhaustion. It was pitch black by the time he got there but the area around the pedestal had a slight glow.

He set down his offerings and really hoped it was enough to not incur the wrath of an angry god that felt like they were owed more than they received. His dinner — consisting of a bread roll and salted meat, a true feast — along with some jewelry he was able to pilfer and more flowers was far from what any god would expect in return for such a miracle, but it was all he had to offer.

He took a stuttering step back and bowed his head. He may be a prideful bastard but he’d consider the day a victory if he lived long enough to feel embarrassed. His fingers tingled, the leaves rustled, and he opened his eyes to find— Oh. Hmmm.

The flowers and jewelry were gone, but the plate had more food on it.

Well, that’s… something. He looked up at the sky, wondering if the god was watching him. After some hesitation, he verbalized his question, asking if this meant the offering was rejected.

There was no answer. When he looked back down, the plate had been moved closer towards him. Okay, what the fuck? The food looked kind of shitty, honestly, but looking closer he realized that’s because it was his offerings that he had given.

Still not quite grasping the situation, he slowly grabbed the plate, waiting to see if he’d be struck by lightning. However, no murderous rain clouds spontaneously appeared as it left the altar. He examined the plate. The food was stacked rather precariously; there wasn’t much of it but the randomness of the items ensured it was on the brink of falling.

Was this meant to be a gift? For him? Why would a god continue to give more and more while receiving almost nothing in return?

He took a moment to sit down, definitely out of caution and not pain, trying to figure out if this was what the deity wanted him to do. Tentatively, he grabbed a piece of bread and slowly began eating. He was slowed by the shake in his hands and for once was right in saying it wasn’t from nerves. The shakiness had been persisting ever since he woke up but had gotten better over time. Before, he hadn’t been able to even pick up small items without struggle. It all seemed a small price to pay considering he should’ve died in that field.

As he ate, he stared up at the altar and wondered how a god whose favorite offerings were flowers had gotten such an awful reputation. Lost in thought, he was pulled back to the present as the apple almost rolled off the plate. He caught it, moving to set it in his lap instead, but noticed something that made him freeze.

Someone was there.

He felt it, both the eyes watching him and the domineering presence that had taken up the area. He carefully continued his movements while looking around, alarmed to see nothing there. He took stock of his surroundings, trying to discern what he was sensing. It seemed the god was no longer simply watching him from the heavens.

Not expecting an answer, he asked aloud if the god wanted some of the food, resolutely staring at his plate. He was unused to feeling a divine being near him. It was unsettling.

No.

The answer seemed to materialize from nothing. He hadn’t heard it, hadn’t read it, it didn’t even feel like it had been some kind of psychic fuckery. It just was. Man, gods were weird.

Pushing the limit, he asked if they had a favorite flower.

Whichever you give me.

And then the presence was gone. He was back to eating alone in a clearing. What the fuck does that mean? The weird godly way of talking didn’t provide much in the way of tone. Was it happy? Flirty? Apathetic? Annoyed?

He shook his head and resumed eating. It didn’t matter. Tomorrow would be an even longer day as they pack up and march on.

He needs to get his god more flowers.

[sketalya]

✨The Steam Team✨

The Steam Team full ref's

And here are some of my headcanons about them (⁠っ⁠.⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)⁠っ

1) Thomas | 26 y.o | 165 cm

• Cheeky, a little naive, hardworking, friendly, and very loyal

• He didn't have any family left after his older brother Timothy died. So Edward, who is Timothy's friend, decided to take care of little Thomas. And that created a strong sibling relationship between them

• Really admires Edward and always tries to be the best to make his brother proud of him. He even dyed his hair (Thomas' hair was blonde before) and chose to wear blue uniform to look like him

• Teasing grumpy seniors is his daily routine

• Can be a bit stubborn and pushy. But don't worry, he always learns from his mistakes (even though it usually will happen again)

• Always ready to help his friends

• Really likes new challenges and adventures that might cause problems. Don't know how he always makes new friends after that. But yeah, that's what makes this puffball famous isn't it

• Has a huge crush on Lady after saving her. But unfortunately they have to separate because Lady has the responsibility to keep the Magic Railroad alive. Thomas didn't get to express his feelings at that time and now he only hopes to see her again one day

2) Edward | 34 y.o | 175 cm

• Before being the wise Eddie that everyone know, Edward used to be a trouble maker for his brothers and sisters in the past. But after a fatal accident that took the lives of all his siblings, Edward felt guilty for not being a good brother to them. And that made Edward turn into a good older brother figure for all young drivers just like what his older brothers and sisters did

• Always reliable for everything. In fact, because of that, sometimes he gets assignments that actually give him difficulties, but he always tried to do it himself because he didn't want to disappoint people

• Pretty good with children too. He sometimes takes his time to play with the neighborhood children. And all the kids really like him and are very excited every time he comes

• Has his own way of disciplining young drivers who like to cause trouble, Bill and Ben for example. Usually he would just advise patiently but he also don't hesitate to make a little prank to teach them a lesson

• Not very good at understanding jokes and that often makes him misunderstands it

• Actually very tired from everything but trying to look okay (He needs a little help)

• He has quite severe scars on both legs and he also has insomnia...Never let this man get drunk

3) Henry | 29 y.o | 192 cm

• Quite shy, very easy to feel anxious, gentle but can also be a little rough, one of the strongest but people sometimes forget about that because he is quite timid

• Gets along well with young drivers. But he can be a bit mean to them too when he's with other seniors. But slowly he changed now

• Has health problems and has a large scar on his body from the Flying Kipper accident. It makes him feel insecure and try cover it with his turtle neck clothes

• Really likes nature, likes to spend his free time in the forest, and his room is literally filled with potted plants. Has venus flytrap plants that he names Fairy, Bubble, and Lala that he talks to and considers them his pets

• Sometimes he would fish at night after delivering the Flying Kipper and sometimes he would ask Percy to come with him if he wasn't busy and chatting about lots of things together

• Whenever he felt anxious and had a problem, he would usually talk to Edward or Emily about it

4) Gordon | 30 y.o | 192 cm

• Overproud of himself, grumpy, and always seems to look down on young drivers and diesel drivers. But actually he also has a soft side that he doesn't show openly to everyone because of his pride. His face would change when he smiled

• Sleepyhead even though he's a coffee addict, likes to eat a lot, and sometimes smokes in his spare time

• Only likes to take the Express, and would be very lazy if he got another job besides that. Will feel annoyed if other people take the Express even if it's his own friend. But he didn't mind if it was Rebecca

• Very stubborn, only Edward and Sir Topham Hat can deal with that

• Comes from a famous family but he doesn't really like it and doesn't care. Because he has a bad relationship with his relatives and is even awkward when he is with his brother Flying Scotsman

• Really loves all his friends even though he doesn't say it. He will usually give gifts as an apology when his friends are offended by his behavior. He has a hard time accepting new people and can't let go of his friends easily

5) James | 27 y.o | 180 cm

• Splendid, a little narcissistic, and sometimes looks down on others even though he doesn't really mean to

• He looks tough but is actually sensitive, easily offended and will cry silently if someone insults him. That's why he always wants to be the best so that people will praise him more often

• The gossip in the group, literally loves to talk about any drama with the others

• Has several piercing scars on his ears from his emo past. He also has big scars on both arms from an accident but he covered them with fire tattoos and it makes him feel cooler and more confident than ever

• Doesn't like anything dirty and hates insects, especially bees

• Very knowledgeable about fashion, likes to go shopping for new clothes every weekend, happy to give advice on outfit styles. Emily was the one who helped him dye his hair

• Likes collecting cute little things but never tells it to anyone except Emily and Percy

6) Percy | 26 y.o | 160 cm

• The youngest in the group and is often teased by his friends and seniors. Cinnamon rolls but doesn't hesitate to say bad words when he gets really annoyed

• Literally can make friends with anyone even diesel drivers. But a little cynical with Harold because he calls him "Dirty Percy"

• Animal lover, friendly with wild animals, and has many pets such as dog, cat, fish, and even has a collection of insects in his room. Sometimes he liked seeing James' frightened expression when he brought his insects pet

• Admires Henry and considers him his older brother. Henry thought it was cute and was okay with it. In fact, Percy's current uniform is actually Henry's old uniform that was given to him because Percy didn't like his own uniform

• He likes to stay over at Toby's place to play with Henrietta's pet dog. And he thought it was a suitable place to write poetry at his free time (Yes, he likes poetry)

• Percy is quite often asked for help writing and sending love letters by his friends. That made him know about everyone's crushes on Sodor

7) Toby | 40 y.o | 175 cm

• Introverted and doesn't really like being around a lot of people but he still socializes because of his wife. Wise and actually always able to give useful advice but he is quite often underestimated by young drivers

• Always doing things slowly and relaxed, he doesn't like being rushed. Even every lunch time, when his friends had almost finished their food, he still on a few bites. Henrietta was the only one that patient enough for that

• Bookworm and will only wear glasses when reading. Percy says that he looks different when he wears it

• Very good at cooking and often brings food to his friends but he always says that it was made by Henrietta (He doesn't want people to know about it). But of course Percy knew about it, and every time he came to his place, Toby would make cakes and other snacks just for Percy

• He prefers to spend holidays with his wife at home or playing with his pet birds, so sometimes his friend had to push him a little to get him go out together

• Secretly has trust issues and anger issues. He doesn't put much trust in other people who he only considers as ordinary friends. He usually tries to be quiet and patient when someone bothers him, but he can become very out of control when he loses his temper.(Better no need to know what he's do and just don't make him angry)

8) Emily | 29 y.o | 170 cm

• The mature ones in the group, bossy and stubborn in the past but now she has learned to be more open-minded to other people's suggestions (Still a bit bossy sometimes but at least she tried)

• Perfectionist, always wants everything to work well and can be a bit strict about it

• Love pretty and shiny things, she and James often talk about their favorite things

• James sometimes helps her with makeup and choosing outfits every time she goes out somewhere. Which was challenging for James because Emily liked goth style

• She also often talks about flowers with Henry, literally can spending a lot of time just talking about them. Grows lots of flowers in her room with Henry's help, and as a thank you, sometimes she gave Henry some insects to feed his pet venus flytrap (Don't know where she got them but Henry is always happy to receive it...Don't worry, she didn't take it from Percy)

• Likes to borrow novels, especially thriller and mystery genres, from Toby. But that often makes Toby annoyed because she always forgets to return it

• Love to playing with her friends' fluffy hair. Percy, Henry, and Edward are always be the victims if they are careless

• Unlike Edward, she's quite strong and can drink a lot without getting drunk

Sorry if this is too long...I had a lot of fun writing all this ;D and in the future I will always use this design for my AU ⊂⁠(⁠(⁠・⁠▽⁠・⁠)⁠)⁠⊃

[missingexaltation]

Further 'Steve plays D&D' shenanigans.

He plays in what the party call 'baby's first campaign', the off tangent, more chaotic and lighter campaign that Eddie's running.

He doesn't play properly, because he has zero interest in D&D at all. Eddie lets him get away with it, which everyone else finds unfair, but 'tough shit kiddies, DM's word is law'.

Steve's only character requirement is that he always has 'the bag thing' (aka the bag of holding) and mostly uses it as a weapon. Annoying NPCs, enemies or fellow party members? In the bag they go, and in the bag they suffocate. Only worthy enemies get to be killed by his sword.

He doesn't remember character names or races, instead giving them a nickname and number. (ie frog guy 1, frog dude 2). Jeff and Lucas pick up on this immediately and join in.

At first he doesn't know which of his dice to use and when. Eddie gets used to just handing him the right one...so now Steve automatically holds his hand out whenever he needs to roll. (It's much quicker.)

Once everyone knows that he and Eddie are dating, he openly and blatantly tries to negotiate re-rolls for kisses during their smoke/snack breaks (and sometimes things written down on scrap paper that makes Eddie's eyes go wide). It works most of the time, and the kids hate it, even though it works in their favour.

Steve and Eddie clash only once, when Steve's first character dies early on. Eddie hands him another character sheet, very similar, and Steve immediately names him the same name. Eddie tells him no. Steve argues for a while before looking him right in the eye and changes just the first letter of his name instead (ie Rob instead of Bob).

Steve has zero connection to his character. It's just a fun game to him, but the others take it way, way more seriously. Open the booby trapped chest? Sure, Steve will do it. Drink the potential poison? Why not! Eddie will just give him a new character if it goes wrong. There's no actual consequences, unlike the Upside Down stuff.

Everything is a NAT roll to Steve, not just 20 and 1. Nat 4, Nat 8, the whole lot. Dustin hates it so damn much.

He tries to get as many NPCs to join their party as he can, mainly so Eddie can be 'part of their team' too, instead of 'just playing the bad guys'. Eddie tells him that's not how it works, but Steve's insistent.

In combat Steve WILL waste his potions of healing if one of the party annoyed him recently. Gareth was once rolling death saves, and Steve ignored him to heal a non fatal wound on NPC #24 instead. Gareth nearly walked out, but Will took pity on him and healed him on his turn.

It's a completely different atmosphere to the 'serious' campaign, but that's what makes it more fun. Even though Steve's main goal is to annoy the rest of Hellfire and prove that their nerdy game is supposed to be fun, they don't seem to actually mind.

In fact, they love it when Steve argues back with Eddie. None of them will do it, but the DM threats just don't work on Steve. He had to roll disadvantage all night? He rolls shit anyway. Threats to kill his character off? Steve doesn't care.

And on the other hand, flattery, flirting and outright bribery works so well on Eddie that it's kind of pathetic. Steve knows that Eddie wants him there and takes full advantage to get what the party wants.

Eddie refuses to let him join the main campaign because of it.

[covid-safer-hotties]

ARE YOU SERIOUS? COVID-19 HASN’T GONE AWAY?

John Snow Project - 3 August 2024

Talk to most people about COVID-19 risks and a common response is, “If it was that bad, governments would do something about it.”

We’ve written previously about the analogies to smoking and the historic role governments played in normalizing harm even after the risks were well proven1.

While COVID-19 has been causing disruption at the Olympics2-4 and regions around the world report sustained high rates of transmission5-7, just this week three studies have been published demonstrating COVID-19’s role in increasing the risk of deafness8 and harming the vascular system following acute infection9, and causing immune dysregulation and cardiovascular damage in people with Long Covid10. These join the many thousands of studies evidencing the short and long-term harm of SARS-CoV-2 infection.

Some people will decry the sheer volume of such studies saying it is improbable a single pathogen can cause such diverse damage. SARS-CoV-2 doesn’t care about probability or people’s expectations. It is a virus that infects cells using one of the most common receptors, a receptor that is expressed almost everywhere in our bodies. It can infect many types of immune cells and has been demonstrated to persist for years in the gut and spinal fluid of some people11. SARS-CoV-2 has also been shown to cause chronic activation of the immune system and play a role in driving new onset allergies, allergic diseases and autoimmunity12,13.

People in the Covid cautious community often wonder when governments will finally take this pervasive virus seriously. For the uninformed, COVID-19 is akin to a cold, and some particularly ill-informed people believe the virus has gone away entirely. There are still some people who are shocked to experience reinfection.

With Long Covid remaining a significant risk14,15, and promises of protective immunity, hybrid immunity and super hybrid immunity receding into the rearview mirror of ignorant and unfounded optimism, it seems people must simply accept the roulette of repeat infection. But should they? For some COVID-19 will pass with symptoms similar to a cold, for others it will be fatal. For a significant proportion it will be debilitating. And we still haven’t seen the long-tail risk. It is entirely reasonable to expect that like Epstein Barr Virus, Cytomegalovirus and HPV, SARS-CoV-2 will cause damage years or decades after infection16.

There is another way. Instead of blithe nihilism and the abandonment of principles of public health that have advanced human society for centuries, governments could instruct their public health and regulatory agencies to insist on cleaner air policies, mandating air quality that protects human health, in the same way we mandate water quality. Malaria prevention is not perfect, but that doesn’t stop us using every possible tool at our disposal to minimize the impact of the disease around the world.

Many engineers have decried the idea of needing a random trial to prove physics, but a Norwegian team did one anyway, examining whether surgical masks help prevent infection by respiratory viruses.They found surgical masks were 30% effective at reducing symptoms of respiratory infection17. This is no surprise. It’s long been established that surgical masks have a minor impact on airborne infection control, but they aren’t worn by anyone who is serious about avoiding SARS-CoV-2 or any other respiratory pathogen. A 2008 UK Health and Safety Executive evaluation demonstrated that surgical masks provide a 6-fold reduction against aerosolized virus, while respirator masks provide at least a 100-fold reduction18.

Perhaps one of the biggest calamities of the COVID-19 pandemic was robbing people of one of the most effective forms of protection: respirator masks. Many people believe masks don’t work, or if they do that they primarily protect others from infection and don’t protect the wearer. This belief is completely unfounded and wholly wrong. Respirators have long been used to protect people working with some of the most dangerous pathogens imaginable, and FFP3/N99 respirators have been shown to offer up to 100% protection against SARS-CoV-2 in healthcare settings19. Imagine how many lives might have been saved and how many cases of Long Covid could have been avoided globally if people had been told that a well fitted mask of the correct grade (N95/FFP2 or higher) can offer complete protection against infection. We don’t need a magic bullet to solve the problem of COVID-19. We need to end the denialism that afflicts us and confront reality. We need to stop living in a comforting delusion and use the tools we already know work to minimize the impact of the disease. Masks, ventilation, filtration, vaccination, isolation, and therapeutics. As this study of hospital admission protocols clearly demonstrates20, we have the tools we need to protect human health. We need to start using them.

Reading Time 4 minutes Author John Snow Project References Merchants of Doubt johnsnowproject.org/insights/merchants-of-doubt/

German decathlete Eitel to miss Paris in latest Covid-19 case sports.yahoo.com/german-decathlete-eitel-miss-paris-163813910.html

Covid cluster worsens in Australian Olympic camp as Zac Stubblety-Cook reveals infection www.theguardian.com/sport/article/2024/aug/01/covid-cluster-worsens-in-australian-olympic-camp-as-zac-stubblety-cook-reveals-infection

Is there a COVID outbreak at the Olympics? At least 9 athletes test positive in one week www.today.com/health/coronavirus/covid-olympics-2024-rcna164070

COVID Map Shows Surge in States With 'Very High' Levels in Wastewater www.newsweek.com/covid-19-map-wastewater-levels-1932576

COVID surging in California, nears two-year summer high. ‘Almost everybody has it’ www.latimes.com/california/story/2024-07-29/covid-surging-in-california-as-virus-levels-in-sewage-near-two-year-summer-high

Wastewater COVID-19, Biomathematics and Statistics Scotland www.bioss.ac.uk/collaborate-us/wastewater-covid-19

Incidence of hearing loss following COVID-19 among young adults in South Korea: a nationwide cohort study www.thelancet.com/journals/eclinm/article/PIIS2589-5370(24)00338-9/fulltext

Long-term effects of COVID-19 on endothelial function, arterial stiffness, and blood pressure in college students: a pre-post-controlled study bmcinfectdis.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12879-024-09646-w

COVID-19 related myocardial injury is associated with immune dysregulation in symptomatic patients with cardiac MRI abnormalities academic.oup.com/cardiovascres/advance-article/doi/10.1093/cvr/cvae159/7723296?searchresult=1

Long COVID and SARS-CoV-2 persistence: new answers, more questions www.thelancet.com/journals/laninf/article/PIIS1473-3099(24)00216-0/fulltext

Incident allergic diseases in post-COVID-19 condition: multinational cohort studies from South Korea, Japan and the UK www.nature.com/articles/s41467-024-47176-w

High risk of autoimmune diseases after COVID-19 www.nature.com/articles/s41584-023-00964-y

Long Covid risk has dropped over time but remains substantial, study shows edition.cnn.com/2024/07/17/health/long-covid-risk/index.html

Postacute Sequelae of SARS-CoV-2 Infection in the Pre-Delta, Delta, and Omicron Eras www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa2403211

Is SARS-CoV-2 an oncogenic virus? www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9361571/

Personal protective effect of wearing surgical face masks in public spaces on self-reported respiratory symptoms in adults: pragmatic randomised superiority trial www.bmj.com/content/386/bmj-2023-078918

RR619 Evaluating the protection afforded by surgical masks against influenza bioaerosols www.hse.gov.uk/research/rrhtm/rr619.htm

Efficacy of FFP3 respirators for prevention of SARS-CoV-2 infection in healthcare workers www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8635983/

Admission screening testing of patients and staff N95 masks are cost-effective in reducing COVID-19 hospital acquired infections www.journalofhospitalinfection.com/article/S0195-6701(24)00236-6/fulltext

[cindol]

ACTOR!CONNIE and his BLACK FEM ACTOR GF

Connie Springer x black fem reader

tw: fluff, friends to lovers, kinda rushed !!, modern acting au,

actor!Connie who always had a little crush whenever he seen you as a horror actor in his favorite films so it was exciting when he was found out he’ll be starring as the final victim male in a movie with you as the main femme fatale villain.

actor!Connie who’s always getting you flustered whenever you and him are doing rehearsal on set. When his character kisses your hand in such a romantic way. You make a quiet gasp as you have to remind yourself that this is just regular acting between two actors.

actor!Connie who in a weird way likes getting scolded by you when he’s goofing around. The way you say “uh uh boy! No games, cmere.” with a finger while he walks your way with his hands in his pockets and Eren and Jean cracking up at that behind his back. He just loves the way you scold him in a motherly way.

actor!Connie who gets flustered whenever you do such platonic acts to him. Like when you catch him with his collar not fixed up right and decide to get up on your tippy toes and fix it yourself or when you fix his green hat that has a ‘C’ on it.

actor!Connie who sees a lot of ship edits of you and him after the movies release. He has a guilty pleasure of going on a alt account and secretly liking any account that post edits like that of you and him.

actor!Connie who can’t even post pictures of you and him hanging out with the movie cast without editors that ship you and him making edits of that.

actor!Connie who likes doing platonic secret dates with you in his house, just because of any onlooking paparazzi and that’s how you like it. He remembers you telling him how anxious you are about any press or you showing up on The Shade Room or some shit.

The platonic dates usually consist of you and him sharing a pizza box or some chipotle as he lays on your lap in a totally platonic way as some Jazmine Sullivan plays out in his room speakers.

actor!Connie who’s always has his friends commenting on his obvious crush on you.

As he sits smoking the shared blunt he huffs when Jean starts his talking.”It makes no sense why you haven’t pinned after [name] yet. That’s a good good lady,” Jean said his last sentence with ooze on it which caught Connie’s attention as he let out a drag and held the blunt.”Aye, don’t talk about the lady like that and I ain’t going after her yet.. Just gonna take things slow.”

Eren clicked his tongue when he said that.”Take things slow my ass.. You and this woman eat together, you listen to all the music she wants as you just vibe resting on her lap, you’ve danced the fucking bachata with her before off set.” Connie groaned once more as Eren continued on.”Learn from me Con, don’t be some silly dumbass like me and wait to pin after your woman. You never know what dude will come right along.” That gets him thinking..

actor!Connie who’s always jealous looking at Eren and Mikasa’s relationship. When he sees how Eren is always holding doors open for her and kissing the engagement ring on her finger while looking at with such love in his eyes makes him long for something like that.

actor!Connie who starts to ask around what kind of things you like to your girlfriends and Sasha. They of course help the poor man out just for their bestie never the less as they giggle deviously.

actor!Connie who one day comes over to gift you some strawberry pound cake perfume and just decides to fuck it and ask you out on a date.

As youre squirting the perfume on your wrist to smell it he clears his throat and speaks with his head hanging low.”Let’s go on a date, I understand if you don’t wanna fuckin’ date me beacuse im just this young boy from fuckin ragoka and—“ you and giggled at how fast his mouth was moving and grabbed both his cheeks.”it’s a date Springer, took you this long hm?”

actor!Connie who you grow close to after 4 dates with him and bam! It just happens so fast becoming his girlfriend. Before you can even keep this secret with him somehow you and his relationship comes out fast..

a/n: Maybe I’ll make a part two? Lol 🫠

[vashtijoy]

the list of incidents in the background

This is the list of incidents that appears in the background on TV, in the 10/4 cinematic with Sae, the SIU Director, and Akechi. Let's take a look at them, one by one, to see (some of?) what's been going on.

バス暴走死傷事故 basu bousou shishou jiko reckless bus driving accident that caused injuries and deaths

This is explicitly described as a bousou—the word meaning "runaway" or "rampage" that the original name for "psychotic breakdown" uses, and the original name for Call of Chaos uses. In this context, it means reckless driving. Also shishou is "deaths and injuries"—this is explicitly a fatal accident. The game wants us to know that, even if nobody died in that subway crash, people have died in these mysterious incidents.

コンビニ爆発物事件 konbini bakuhatsumono jiken convenience store bombing incident

What? Did someone bomb a convenience store? Well, maybe not. If you're following the news, the recent incident where someone threw a smoke bomb at PM Kishida Fumio is being described as a bakuhatsumono jiken. So this could be relatively tame.

Or it might not be. The Manchester Arena bombing, where people leaving an Ariana Grande concert were blown up and many died, is also a bakuhatsumono jiken. It could go either way.

トンネル内放火事件 tonneru nai houka jiken arson inside a tunnel incident

Short and sweet. Could be another subway incident, but since it's not explicitly mentioned as being one, it's more likely a road tunnel or something? Fires in tunnels can be devastating, of course.

ヨットハーバー燃料漏出 yotto haabaa nenryou roushutsu marina fuel leak

This sounds like another one that could have been quite dramatic. Marinas tend to be places where rich and powerful people hang out, so this is likely to do with someone being explicitly targetted?

翼田リムジンバス突入事故 yokuta (?) rimushinbasu totsunyuu jiko Yokuta (?) Airport shuttle bus crash accident

Hahaha, this one is fun. First, a "limousine bus" is an airport bus—the ones that run you out to the plane. The airport is a spoof of Haneda Airport. 羽田 "Haneda", to Yokuta (?)'s 翼田—they've changed the first kanji for another one that means "wing".

A totsunyuu jiko is a car crash, but seems to be specifically a crash where the vehicle crashes into a fixed obstacle? So some poor driver smashed their shuttle bus into a wall.

新都市交通あねはづる事故 shin toshi koutsuu anehazuru jiko Anehazuru Monorail case

This one is a P3 reference. shin toshi koutsuu—"New Urban Transport", a term for a "people mover" or monorail. The Shin Toshi Koutsuu Anehazuru is the monorail in P3.

We don't know what happened there, but this may be the only indication that anything happens outside Tokyo in P5 (besides Shido getting his drama on with Joker).

An anehazuru, BTW, is a type of bird, the demoiselle crane.

内閣部サイバー攻撃事件 naikakufu saibaa kougeki jiken Cabinet Office cyberattack incident

This one is interesting because it's so unlike the rest—though there are a lot of data leaks during the Medjed arc, which suggests the conspiracy is somehow taking the opportunity to carry them out. Cyberattacks certainly don't seem in Akechi's line (though he might be responsible for locating worthwhile targets?), so this might just have been swept in with the accidents and "incidents".

An attack on the Cabinet Office, of course, makes it a political attack, and exceptionally likely to be Shido-motivated somehow.

毒薬混入事件 dokuyaku kon'nyuu jiken poison adulteration incident; poisoning incident.

The last on the list: someone, or several someones, were poisoned.

so what do we know

While only one of these, the top one, is explicitly described as fatal, it doesn't take much of a stretch to see that many of them could have been fatal—and the fact that they aren't all called "fatal accident" doesn't make them necessarily not fatal.

Plus, the list fills the screen. These are unlikely to be all the cases; they're the most recent ones, or the ones the studio thought most worthy of note.

[sir-fluffbutts]

I'm sorry this is long, but I believe I connected which Guards of Meria to which case files they belong!

Called this image the "Last One" image for short.

Case 1- The victim in the case file seems to be this guard as in the “Last One” image, the top of their head has an X, implying from the file to be “massive head damage which seems like it was caused by repeatedly getting their head bashed into the brick wall.” The X covering their throat “Somebody has grabbed their neck from behind and made a clean cut in front of the throat as if it was sliced from behind.”

Case 2- The victim seems to be this guard because the parts in the case file say “cleanly pierced with a long spear” and “face was badly caved in.” The “Last One” image above has an X above the head and the front of the face scribbled out, probably due to the “small bits of debris splattered all across the walls but mostly almost fused on the stairs.”

Case 3- The victim in this case file is believed to be this guard whose killer had “clawed their face multiple times in the same spot.” The “Last One” image has red lines which resemble a hand/claw.

Case 4- The victim in this case file, I believe to be this guard. However, in the files, they had multiple injuries, which made it a bit difficult to connect which guard to which case file, but, reading the file more carefully it says here “clean hole going through their back head and throughout the bottom jaw” and the guard’s head in “Last One” image, it shows two X’s. Where exactly? Hole through the back of their head, out of the bottom jaw. (Plus, using the design and how it was designed, the hands and claws are designed in a way that they are skilled with their hands… Aka a pickpocketer.)

Case 5- The victim in the case file, is believed to be this guard. First, using how you (yes you Fluff) design characters, he looks super strong but desires to be alone. (Love how you design characters Fluff.) The Guard in the “Last One” image had two red X’s on the top of his head and snout, exactly what the case file says. “Victim had a massive gash on its snout and head areas but they weren't fatal.” The final blow was to the eyes, which in the image, is red, “was the impaling through the eyes.” Even without using the red lines, the design can help. The case file states that “has a very thick skin that even a bullet couldn't pierce through, so it is unknown how the killer gave the victim the cuts” The design does give off a strong body mass and shows a few scars.

Case 6- The victim in this case is this guard. In the case file, it states that he died from smoke inhalation. The “Last One Image” has his neck covered in a large red X, resembling his death from smoke inhalation.

Case 7- The victim of this case seems to be this guard as the “Last One” image with Kenny has X’s all over their head, but I’m certain this guard is the victim in this case due to “her eyes were severely damaged by some sort of pressure.” Also using design skills wise, in the file, “That girl who has mad art skills” does help connect the dots more.

Case 8- The victim in this case file seems to be this guard as in the case file it states “clean blow that pierced the middle of her head, -assumed that she has died instantly due to brain damage.”In the “Last One” image, there is a large red X on the top of her head.

Case 9- The victim in this case file I believed to be this guard due to the “Last One” image, red is scrambled all over the head. This one was the victim of Pepper instead of Kenny. (Plus probably just me, but the design does fit the description in the file, saying “several claims that they were seen roaming around the area for a while, harassing the residence or stealing in the night/aka DOUCH!”)

Case 10- The victim in the case file I assumed to be this guard. In the “Last One” image, they have their entire head in red. In the case file, it states “Death is obviously being the decapitation of the head.”

Case 11- Though as of…checks date it Sep 24, 2023, there's no case file on this guard, which I conclude they are the final case file, as of right now it says “Details of the event.” I’m assuming when you do this file, their injuries will probably be “multiple stab wounds all already of the head, but the final blow is the through the eyes.” type.

And the final survivor is Hawkins, our favorite GILF, I cannot wait to see where Kenny’s work goes. This was a bit hard but also fun trying to connect the dots, some of their injuries do match, so I had to use their designs to help out. Really applaud you for making their design somehow relate to their deaths or show off their personalities!! Can't wait!

OH YOU'RE CLOSE, VERY CLOSE INDEED 👏👏👏👏👏 YOU ALMOST GOT EVERYONE RIGHT 😳

[the-bad-batch-baroness]

Health Update

First, I want to say thank you to everyone who reached out or commented on the latest installment of Where's Mommy? to wish me good health. I am so grateful for all of you 💚

However, the health issue I'm currently dealing with isn't due to a virus or bacteria, and there's a possibility it won't get better.

A little history.

Back in 2022, there was a two week period where I felt like my blood sugar was dropping, and I was very symptomatic. There was a moment where I slumped down a wall at work because of it, and they had to dump sugar packets from the break room into my mouth to rouse me. It was a very scary time.

After those two weeks, I went to my Primary Care Physician who ordered blood tests and had me purchase a glucometer to test my blood sugar several times a day. However, during the two weeks she had me do this, I never got a reading below 70, and the same symptoms did not develop as they did prior. My blood work came back clean, and without a reading lower than 70, my PCP dismissed it and told me I was having anxiety attacks, lol. She told me to come back if the symptoms came back, and they never did.

Backing up a couple more years.

Without revealing too much of my medical history, I have a chronic illness called POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome). It's a dysautonomia or a dysfunction of the autonomic nervous system, the system that controls all of the automatic functions of the body. It was caused by my battle with Lyme Disease in 2010 and is currently incurable. I was diagnosed with POTS in 2018, after being told for 6 years that I had anxiety, lol.

POTS is not a very well-known illness, but it's getting more attention these days. It garners a host of different symptoms, including tachycardia, chronic fatigue, brain fog, orthostatic intolerance, migraines, gut issues, syncope, dehydration, blood pooling, etc. Everyone's POTS presents differently, and most people with a POTS diagnosis live on disability. I made the choice not to.

Fast forward to 2024.

Fast forward again to this past Wednesday.

Well, I finally was able to get a POTS specialist in my state this year. A huge win! When I had my initial consultation, I had mentioned the low blood sugar episodes in 2022 and asked if it could be related to POTS. The doctor told me that they don't see POTS patients having low blood sugar issues, but we're concerned enough to refer me to an endocrinologist. Another big win!

I had my consultation with the endocrinologist, and he ordered more blood tests, some of the same tests as before, and some different (y'all, they took like 20 vials from me). He also gave me a CGM (continuous glucose monitor) to wear for 14 days so they can track my highs and lows to see if they can catch anything.

Well, the next night, my blood sugar dropped below 70, 20 times, and 55, 9 times. Which means I was woken up 9 times throughout the night. I got only about 2 hours of sleep, and still had to go to work the next morning. But, once again, it went back up by itself without any intervention from me.

Y'all, it caught A LOT in just the first day, actually night. My blood sugar dropped below 70, 11 times, and below 55, 4 times while I was sleeping. Now, because anything below 55 is considered critical and could be fatal, there is an alarm that cannot be overridden and will sound. It sounds like a smoke alarm. So, I was awoken 4 times.

The odd thing is that my blood sugar dropped, then went back up on its own. I didn't eat or drink anything. Blood sugar doesn't really do that, so I thought it was odd. This also begs the question: If I'm asymptomatic at 53, then what level was I at in 2022 when I had symptoms? Honestly, I don't want to know.

Here is a nifty graph!

All of the red is considered low blood sugar, below 70, and anything close to that 50 line is considered critical low blood sugar. And again, I did not eat anything during the night.

There are four major anomalies with my low blood sugar occurences:

Most cases of hypoglycemia are seen in diabetics, I am not diabetic

Most cases of hypoglycemia seen in non-diabetics are sporadic, mine are consistent

Hypoglycemia is normally corrected by consuming sugar, mine auto-corrects

When blood sugar drops, it creates symptoms, I do not get symptoms

There are only a handful of things that can cause hypoglycemia in a non-diabetic and even less consistently at night time. The doctor has already ruled out insulinoma (insulin producing tumors in the pancreas), so that leaves even less, and also the good old "we don't know what's wrong with you".

I'm not going to lie. This whole thing terrifies me. There's no telling how long my blood sugar has been doing this, and it only takes one dip below 50 for me to slip into a coma and die in my sleep. Luckily, my blood sugar does this crazy autocorrect thing, and I haven't died yet! Humor makes this easier.

Right now, I'm emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted. Adding this on top of my already difficult life with POTS has been hard to cope with, and I'm crying a lot.

Hopefully, I'll get results soon, and my endocrinologist can figure out why this is happening and how to manage/fix it if it can be managed/fixed. Maybe I've got a completely new illness, and you'll find me in a medical journal! Wouldn't that be something.

Anyway, thanks for the continued support. I have a lot of IRL support from friends and family, but while I go through this process, I may seem distant, my posting might be sporadic, I may not keep my fic posting schedule, etc. And when I have an update, I promise to let y'all know!

Much love 💚💚💚

Steph

[fursasaida]

Tumblr won't turn the URL into a link card for whatever reason, so, here's a Washington Post article about Israel using white phosphorus in Lebanon. Some key points here, full text under the cut:

White phosphorus is technically legal when used to obscure military activities and at a distance from civilians. In this case it was directly targeted at homes in Dheira, a village near the Lebanese border with Israel. 4 homes were incinerated and 9 people injured in this particular attack on 10/16. Residents have been displaced.

Amnesty International has called for this to be treated as a war crime.

The white phosphorus munitions are US-made according to unnamed weapons experts, Amnesty International, and the Post itself. They appear to have been manufactured in 1989 and 1992. The Biden administration claims not to have included white phosphorus in arms transfers to Israel since 10/7.

The IDF claims these were used to create obscuring smoke and not to target civilians; they possess safer munitions that would do the same thing without contaminating bodies, soil, and buildings, but did not use those.

A part that deserves highlighting in full: "Israeli forces continued to shell the town with white phosphorus munitions for hours, residents said, trapping them in their homes until they could escape around 7 a.m. the next morning. Residents now refer to the attack as the 'black night.' Most fled the town when the shelling stopped, returning during a week-long pause in fighting and leaving again when it resumed. Uday Abu Sari, a 29-year-old farmer, said in an interview that he was trapped in his home for five hours during the shelling and was unable to breathe because of the smoke. He suffered respiratory problems for days after the attack. 'Emergency services told us to put something that was soaked in water on our faces, which helped a bit. I couldn’t see my finger in front of my face,' he said. 'The whole village became white.'"

"White phosphorus fell onto several homes and ignited fires, incinerating furniture and stripping appliances to scorched metal. Remnants of the sticky, black chemical littered the ground 40 days after the attack and combusted when residents kicked at it."

US officials, as usual, expressed "concern" and an intention to "learn more," which of course means nothing.

As a reminder, this is not a unique attack on Lebanese soil since the slaughter started. "Israel has used the munition more than 60 times in Lebanon’s border areas in the past two months, according to data collected by ACLED, a group that monitors war zones. Lebanese Prime Minister Najib Mikati said on Dec. 2 that Israel’s use of the munition has 'killed civilians and produced irreversible damage to more than 5 million square meters of forests and farmland, in addition to damaging thousands of olive trees.'"

By William Christou, Alex Horton and Meg Kelly

Updated December 11, 2023 at 3:48 p.m. EST | Published December 11, 2023 at 6:00 a.m. EST

DHEIRA, Lebanon — Israel used U.S.-supplied white phosphorus munitions in an October attack in southern Lebanon that injured at least nine civilians in what a rights group says should be investigated as a war crime, according to a Washington Post analysis of shell fragments found in a small village.

A journalist working for The Post found remnants of three 155-millimeter artillery rounds fired into Dheira, near the border of Israel, which incinerated at least four homes, residents said. The rounds, which eject felt wedges saturated with white phosphorous that burns at high temperatures, produce billowing smoke to obscure troop movements as it falls haphazardly over a wide area. Its contents can stick to skin, causing potentially fatal burns and respiratory damage, and its use near civilian areas could be prohibited under international humanitarian law.

Of the nine injured in Israel’s attack on Dheira, at least three were hospitalized, one for days.

Lot production codes found on the shells match the nomenclature used by the U.S. military to categorize domestically produced munitions, which show they were made by ammunition depots in Louisiana and Arkansas in 1989 and 1992. The light green color and other markings — like “WP” printed on one of the remnants — are consistent with white phosphorous rounds, according to arms experts.

The M825 smoke rounds, fired from 155mm howitzers, have legitimate use on the battlefield, including signaling friendly troops, marking targets and producing white smoke that conceals soldiers from the eyes of enemy forces. The rounds are not intended for use as incendiary weapons.

The weapons are part of billions of dollars in U.S. military arms that flow to Israel every year, which has fueled Israel’s war on Hamas in the Gaza Strip, launched after the militants attacked on Oct. 7. At least 17,700 people, many of them civilians, have been killed since the Israeli operation began, according to the Gaza Health Ministry.

Following publication of this story, National Security Council spokesman John Kirby said Monday the administration is “concerned” about the use of white phosphorous munitions and that they would be “asking questions to try to learn a bit more.”

Tensions along Lebanon’s southern border between Israeli forces and Hezbollah, the Iranian-backed militia, have boiled over from a simmer to near-daily exchanges of fire in the weeks since Oct. 7.

Dheira, a town of 2,000, has become a focal point for fighting. Just across the border from an Israeli radar tower, it has been used as a staging ground for Hezbollah’s attacks against Israel. At least 94 people have been killed on the Lebanese side of the border since tensions escalated, according to data released on Dec. 5 by the Health Ministry — 82 have been militants, according to Hezbollah. In addition, at least 11 Israelis have been killed, most of them soldiers.

Photos and videos verified by Amnesty International and reviewed by The Post show the characteristic ribbons of white phosphorus smoke falling over Dheira on Oct. 16.

Israeli forces continued to shell the town with white phosphorus munitions for hours, residents said, trapping them in their homes until they could escape around 7 a.m. the next morning. Residents now refer to the attack as the “black night.”

Most fled the town when the shelling stopped, returning during a week-long pause in fighting and leaving again when it resumed.

Uday Abu Sari, a 29-year-old farmer, said in an interview that he was trapped in his home for five hours during the shelling and was unable to breathe because of the smoke. He suffered respiratory problems for days after the attack.

“Emergency services told us to put something that was soaked in water on our faces, which helped a bit. I couldn’t see my finger in front of my face,” he said. “The whole village became white.”

White phosphorus ignites when in contact with oxygen and burns at temperatures up to 1,500 degrees, which can cause severe injuries. The chemicals left in the body can damage to internal organs, sometimes fatally, according to a Human Rights Watch report.

It is unclear why the Israeli military fired the rounds into the evening, as smoke would have little practical use at night and there were no Israeli troops on the Lebanese side of the border to mask with smokescreens. Residents speculated that the phosphorus was meant to displace them from the village and to clear the way for future Israeli military activity in the area.

In a statement, the Israel Defense Forces wrote that white phosphorous shells launched by Israel are used to create smokescreens, not for targeting or causing fires. It said its use of the weapon “complies and goes beyond the requirements of international law.”

Israeli forces possess safer alternatives, such as M150 artillery rounds, which produce screening smoke without the use of white phosphorous.

The U.S. origin of the shells was verified by Human Rights Watch and Amnesty International. The same manufacturing codes also appear on white phosphorus shells lined up next to Israeli artillery by the city of Sderot, near the Gaza Strip, in an Oct. 9 photo.

The United States is under an obligation to track the behavior of its partners and allies who receive its assistance in order to comply with U.S. law, humanitarian law experts said. The use of white phosphorus smoke is permitted if used for legitimate military operations, but like other weapons, its misuse can violate laws of armed conflict. Rights groups have warned its use should be restricted around civilians because fire and smoke can be spread to populated areas.

“The fact that U.S.-produced white phosphorus is being used by Israel in south Lebanon should be of great concern to U.S. officials,” Tirana Hassan, the executive director of Human Rights Watch, wrote in an email. “[Congress] should take reports of Israel’s use of white phosphorus seriously enough to reassess U.S. military aid to Israel.”

The United States is not conducting real-time assessments of Israel’s adherence to the laws of war, Biden administration officials said.

“Anytime that we provide items like white phosphorous to another military, it is with a full expectation that it’ll be used in keeping with...legitimate purposes and in keeping with the law of armed conflict,” Kirby said.

It is unclear when the United States delivered the munitions to Israel. The U.S. has not provided white phosphorous munitions to Israel since the Oct. 7 Hamas attack, Pentagon spokesman Maj. Gen. Pat Ryder told reporters Monday.

“When it comes to our relationship with Israel, we’ll continue to communicate to them the importance of mitigating civilian harm,” Ryder said, adding that the department could not yet verify the weapons were from U.S. stocks.

White phosphorus fell onto several homes and ignited fires, incinerating furniture and stripping appliances to scorched metal. Remnants of the sticky, black chemical littered the ground 40 days after the attack and combusted when residents kicked at it.

In 2009, Human Rights Watch documented Israel’s use of U.S.-made white phosphorus munitions in violation of international law in its 22-day offensive in Gaza. At least one of the shells found by The Post in Dheira was from the same batch of white phosphorus used by Israel in 2009, according to lot production codes.

In 2013, the Israeli military pledged to stop using white phosphorus on the battlefield, saying it would transition to gas-based smoke shells.

Israel has used the munition more than 60 times in Lebanon’s border areas in the past two months, according to data collected by ACLED, a group that monitors war zones. Lebanese Prime Minister Najib Mikati said on Dec. 2 that Israel’s use of the munition has “killed civilians and produced irreversible damage to more than 5 million square meters of forests and farmland, in addition to damaging thousands of olive trees.”

Tyler Pager aboard Air Force One, Missy Ryan in Washington and Mohamad El Chamaa in Beirut contributed to this report.

[puffin-smoke]

I am stuck in the middle of nowhere waiting for my parents to pick me up, so answer these bug questions to ensure I don't get mugged

1 - If they did drag, what would their stage name be?

2 - How are they at flirting? Are they typically the one getting flirted with, or are they the one doing the flirting?

3 - What's their fatal flaw?

4 - Modern AU! Your bug just got arrested, who are they calling to help?

5 - Back to the OG universe, do they have a favourite outfit?

Tags:

@rozeliyawashereyall @willowve01 @asmrbrainrot @kaiamtt @iistxrmyskyii

@insignificant-anarchy @stxph-artist

@aspenm00n @keyaartz @fangsshadow

@rustycopper4use @piffany666 @dreamyshape @idontevenknow7878 @lunaritychuwolf

@littlesiren79

@castbracelet240 @strayharmony943 @proxdragon @tiefling-chaos @threeweekinsomnia

@recated @wilderrorcard @diamondzoey @fennaboysenberry @lunnats

@lightdragon789 @pinkcocopuff-aqualoid @itsargyle @not-5-rats @astralbulldragon13

@ccstiles @puffin-smoke

[cheemscakecat]

Missing In Action 13

Chapter 13: Regret

It’s time for RED team to reflect on what they know now, and to find out if Spy is okay.

TW: Some gore, heavy angst. Forgot to call the last chapter a doozy, but this one is too.

Medic remembered the day that Spy outran the BLU team’s Scout. Everyone had been celebrating Spy’s abnormally impressive contribution to the team. It wasn’t everyday that one killed so many BLU’s, got the intelligence, and got out; he didn’t even need assistance until he got into the main battle outside and the BLU Scout shot his leg.

But he hadn’t stayed to celebrate with everyone, instead going to the smoking room. Heavy had gone to check on him, and mentioned to Ludvig that Spy had part of a piece of paper sticking out of his lapel. It smelled like he burned photographs in the fireplace when Medic walked past the next day. They didn’t know exactly what happened at BLU base, but someone took a picture that Spy didn’t like. Heavy said he looked panicked and disgusted.

Heavy had noticed that Spy froze up when Ludvig showed them the BLU Spy’s head, and put two and two together. It was actually Mikhail that convinced the team to let Ludvig keep the Spy’s severed head until he got bored. It wouldn’t be more than 2, 3 weeks. Even Medic wasn’t stupid enough to butcher or torture an enemy teammate under Helen’s watchful eye.

So it was surprising that Spy led the charge in getting BLU Spy’s head killed so he could be free. Ludvig knew the team was scared of his experiments, and that they didn’t like him keeping the head. But he’d expected to be able to keep it at least a week before they came up with some yarn to get him to release his captive. It took 4 days.

Spy basically tried to shake keys in his face by giving him an animal to experiment on instead. But it was one of his pets; a very old crab that was not edible. Spy didn’t look as though he really wanted to give it up, so it must have been deeply important for him to free the enemy.

Medic had assumed that it was fear of more information getting stolen, despite BLU Spy always being stuck in the fridge and unable to hear well. He knew better now.

He wouldn’t be surprised if Spy was plagued by nightmares about his enemy suffering a terrible respawn failure. Being too cold, or not connecting back to his body, or just not being able to control his body because of a botched reconnection.

It seemed that BLU team might be thinking about how lucky their Spy was to be alive and healthy; he sure looked haunted. Ludvig decided they would just feel guilty if he told them all the details about how their teammate was freed. So he wouldn’t.

He was glad someone stopped him from keeping the head, in any case. Sometimes he needed to be stopped.

—————————-

All of RED team froze with bated breath as BLU Medic came out. Except Scout, but that made the most sense. Engineer could feel the anxiety radiating off of him. “Did he make it? Is he okay?” The Medic blinked at him in surprise.

“Yes. He’ll be asleep while his body heals for the next couple of days, but he’s alive with a good outlook.” He looked around at the relieved RED team’s faces. “I can never remember right… did this tape include your Spy’d respawn failure too?” They shook their heads.

”Oh dear, I’m terribly sorry! If I had known it was the fatal respawns only, I would have shown you the backup footage first!” He rummaged around for another tape “Malum extra reel”. Putting it in the TV, the BLU Medic fast forwarded to the Sniper respawn failure.

Spy had apparently respawned around the same time as the Sniper, because both the Medic and other teammates were asking him if he was okay. He kept shaking his head no. They were watching a camera on the BLU Medic’s glasses. He suddenly hesitated and looked at Spy.

“You have not said anything for a while. Is your mouth okay?” Spy made a shooing motion and pointed at Sniper. “He’s stable for now, we have the medigun rays on him. Can you open your mouth please?” Spy saw that it was useless to refuse, so he sheepishly opened his mouth.

Blood and teeth poured out like a running facet and gradually weakened to a dribble. Based on the footage, it looked like he lost his full set of adult teeth. “Oh Spy, sweetheart! Are you okay?!” “Et dowsen mattaw! Sniwpew’s dyinm..” He snapped at the doctor, who realized that he might as well go back to working on the more damaged teammate.

Fast forwarding a bit, there was a before and after showing that Spy was able to get fake teeth put in without it going wrong. They weren’t made to look exactly like the originals though, so he lacked the buck teeth that Scout must have inherited.

There was also footage from the BLU MedBay of Medic waking him up after giving him the fakes. “Sniper’s dead?” He asked. The Medic lowered his head sadly. “I’m sorry. It was like Mr Soldier’s case, the hearts and spine should have been usable… but..”

“Why do they make you do ze surgeries all alone? That was awful, they should have had someone to focus on ze spine and someone to focus on ze hearts. I mean, did they make you fix me, on top of Sniper? When he hadn’t been dead long?”

“I do not know. Ms Administrator only gave me clearance. I do sometimes wish for the help. It feels like there must be someone better suited for saving these patients.” There was a pause. “You fixed my teeth. I do not know how.. impressive that feels, but you are not a teeth doctor.”

“That’s true. I do not think it’s enough to try organ donors if there’s other respawn failures to come, but I think that might help. I couldn’t get your real teeth to stay, but these artificial ones worked. It may be that something leeches into the patient’s body during a respawn failure. If that is the case…”

The BLU Medic removed the tape. “I didn’t recognize your team’s Spy as the same person.” He looked pretty sorrowful. “But he grew up, and he looked so different…. I guess I look different too.” Engineer knew what was coming. They were gonna have to tell BLU team why their Spy was 25 years younger. And that meant Scout had to know too.

——————————

Everyone had been afraid to tell Jeremy that younger Spy was his missing old man, except Soldier and Pyro because they didn’t know. They looked like they were bracing for him to bite their heads off for it. That was so crazy to him. Yeah, he’d been mad at Spy in the plane but… did they really think he’d get mad like that at anybody?

“You guys know I’m not gonna freak the hell out on ya… You know that right?” He hoped they did. “Scout.” Heavy started. “It is not that ve thought you would be as angry as vhen we took the ride to base. But you ve’re just hurt deeply by vhat Spy hid from you, and ve knew that it would hurt more even from coworkers.”

“We.. we weren’t familiar with younger Spy. He had never told us why he left yer mother, so…” Engineer paused. “Fer all we knew, you’d confront him about it and he’d say somethin terrible.”

“We might not have know yer pa that well,” Sniper added, “But we knew he regretted leaving by the time we met him. The thing was, if you heard him as a young snot saying you or yer mum weren’t worth his time, or something to that effect…. An apology from his older self would feel hollow.”

“We could all tell that Spy wanted to reconcile before he disappeared… And… And we wanted to bring him back without you being worried he’d never be put right. We didn’t want you and younger Spy to be at odds either..” It was so weird hearing Medic sound sorry for something.

“So he… he really didn’t tell anybody about Malum. Do ya think he was still afraid of Admin? Is that why he always called her ‘the voice’?” Scout asked. He hoped Spy didn’t live in fear of her for 25 whole years.

“I think… that the Malum/Admin tragedy made him less open to new people. We don’t know who his Frigidus teammates were or if they helped him with his grief. But he has never been as open with us as he seemed to be with his original team.”

“Less open than that since…” Heavy glanced at Scout and stopped. “Ve have made grave errors before vith Spy. Heavy in particular… pulled a bad camera prank. That is vhy Spy keeps his rooms so hidden, even from us.”

“Well um…” It was hard for Jeremy to speak, his voice felt tight. They were standing around Spy’s hospital bed in BLU Base. He was asleep, but it didn’t look that peaceful. Had to have the big bandage over his chest visible too, and all those wires and tubes… “Would you guys be okay with me staying with him all night? I know more than one of us is supposed to be allowed but..”

”It’s okay, Scout. He’s your dad.” Sniper said. “It’d be hard for us not to argue about who gets the other chair anyway. We might pop in to check on y’all later, but mosta the time we’ll be in the BLU rec room.” Engie sounded like he was trying to cheer him up. It didn’t really work, but that was okay.

It was gonna be a long night.

———————-

Spy looked like an angel who got his wings stolen and then fell. He was paler than Scout thought possible for someone with such reddish skin. His hair was long enough that Jeremy kept having to brush it out of his eyes. He didn’t have to… but it felt right.

He knew Spy would live.. But the others said the curse could only be lifted if they showed Spy his life in order. Ma might know where to send them, but he couldn’t promise it. They were gonna have to tell Spy that Admin had died and who Pauling was. They were gonna have to try to convince him to take them to his house and see what he had to jog his memory. And that was assuming he hadn’t moved house since then.

What if Spy never got his memory back? Would it be worse for him to know he and Jeremy had been fighting? That he was angry with him, but not be able to remember why? How would he feel about having a grown son whose life he missed? There was a tight lump in the back of Scout’s throat. He could see why the others didn’t want him knowing before.

—————————

Somehow, Jeremy fell asleep in his chair. He wasn’t sure why. He found himself in one of the smoking rooms with younger Spy. He was dressed different. Still maskless, but wearing his older self’s black suit and scarf from Halloween. They didn’t usually spend Halloween at Bread base.

Spy turned to face him and was holding a familiar metal bucket.

“Scout, can I ask you to do something for me?” Oh no. The bread thing. He’d forgotten all about it! Jeremy tried to say no but his body was moving on autopilot. He was gonna do it again, whether he wanted to or not. “I’d like you to ask everyone for their dying wishes. Some of them might not want to come, like Engineer, but… have everyone else come to the poker table.”

Suddenly they were all there, except Medic and Engineer off fixing the death issue. Scout knew what he was about to do. He knew the prank was gonna be awful, especially since it was younger Spy. But no matter how hard he tried to kick and scream, and reach over to throw the bucket away, he couldn’t move from the chair or undo the smug look on his face.

“This is a bucket. It contains everyone’s dying wish.. everyone at this table anyway. Please set your watches together. We only have 70 hours left to live. But we’re mercenaries, and we’re a team. If anyone has a chance to fulfill all 7 wishes, it’s us. Let’s begin.”

This was his last wish, wasn’t it? To be with his Fortress teammates before they died and he went to reconnect with Malum. Maybe he wanted to be buried with Malum so his ghost could find them. But if he didn’t see the team at Fortress again, and if Scout was buried somewhere far away by Ma…

“First is desert Scout.” Spy looked at him, nodded and grinned like he was toasting at a party. The worst part was that older Spy did the same thing. This time he didn’t even ask if Jeremy really got the wishes. Younger Spy trusted him enough not to.

“He’s..” The smile faded as Spy stared at the card. He looked up at Scout, like a puppy that just got shot with a BB gun and hasn’t figured out it’s a betrayal by the owner. Jeremy wanted to scream, wanted to say “I’M SORRY!”, but he couldn’t. He could only watch.

“Drawn a picture of me getting hit my a car.” Nobody said anything. Scout couldn’t turn to look at them, but he hoped they were staring at him in disapproval. “There’s.. lines coming off me?” Of course he didn’t know what it was, he wasn’t a comic reader or American. Maybe older Spy was the same, he just didn’t know what the stink lines were.

“Yeah, those are stink lines! That’s why the car hit ‘em, cause he smells!” This time at least, Jeremy could look where he wanted to, which was at Spy. He looked disappointed and embarrassed. “I…” Spy sighed in frustration and picked up the next card. “Ze next card is-“ This time he didn’t say what Scout had drawn. But he remembered. It was disgusting.

Spy’s eyes slowly rose from the card to Scout, looking cold, disgusted, and disappointed with him. He stared through him like that for what felt like a full minute. Spy flipped through the cards without saying anything. Then he slammed his hand down, hesitating with his eyes on the cards pinned under his fingers.

“Did he even ask you guys for your last wishes?” Nobody said anything, apart from Scout’s laughter that he hated. Spy started looking from person to person, waiting for an answer. Scout looked back at them and they weren’t helping Spy at all. They still wouldn’t even say anything to him.

Jeremy had forgotten that nobody answered Spy. He knew he was the worst, obviously but… Why hadn’t anyone called him out? Why didn’t they say “No, sorry.” Or anything like that when Spy asked them? He hadn’t paid any attention to that the first time. He knew Engie wasn’t there, but Heavy was. And it wasn’t like Demoman and Sniper always agreed with him either. He could understand Pyro and Soldier staying silent, but not the others.

Turning back to look at Spy, Jeremy saw that he was surrounded by the ghosts of team Malum, all of them mangled. A Medic whose head was twisted backwards, a Soldier who was still on fire, a Heavy who had an injury like Spy’s, a Sniper who was bent in an odd way because of his spine.. A Pyro and Engineer who were conjoined at the head, a Scout cut in half, and a Demowoman who was barely held together chunks.

They never got the chance to get together and do everyone’s last wish. The ones who wanted to retire never got to. The Soldier didn’t get to meet Spy’s family. All Spy wanted was to make sure that didn’t happen again with Fortress.

But… the team’s silence showed that they weren’t really interested. And there was something worse about going and sitting down for the speech, for the song and dance and just staring. Showing that you feel indifferent to a guy’s face by giving them hope that you care first. They should have just sent Scout to say they weren’t interested.

“Then this has been a waste of my time.” Spy didn’t bother to grab the cards as his hand slid off the table. He looked offended, hurt, and angry. “Forget it. Just forget it.” He almost started to cry but opted to leave instead. But as he left, a gash formed in his chest and blood dribbled from his mouth.

——————————-

RED Team could hear Scout weeping again. But this time they were at BLU Base, so whether he would get embarrassed or not, they needed to go check up on him. It seemed the BLU teammates also debated whether or not to go in and check, because there were many of them standing at the doors to the MedBay, pacing and looking worried.

When they went in, he was slumped over Spy’s sleeping chest, arms out and trying not to bump the important wires. The fact that they could hear the weeping when he was face down was a testament to how loud it was.

Engineer made his way over first, laying a hand on his chest as it shuddered with sobs. “Scout? Is everything okay?” “No! Nothing is-“ He was having trouble speaking, understandably.

“Well, what’s worrying you the most, lad? Might help to tell us.” Jeremy shrank closer to Spy. “Me.” They didn’t know what to say to that. It wasn’t enough information to reassure him. “Yourself? Is it because we didn’t tell you-“

“The bread thing.” Several eyes widened. They knew exactly what he did to Spy with the last wishes. Heavy knew he’d eventually remember, but he’d been hoping it would be a day or two. Hoping he’d have time to process some of the rest. He should have thought before nearly bringing it up.

“A lot of us were bad about the bread thing.” Sniper said. “But you remember how you apologized, and Spy helped you with your date?” Scout looked up at him, confused. “For what it’s worth, I don’t think Spy would have helped if he hadn’t forgiven you.” Demoman gave him a look.

“I guess, but… I was awful about the hanging n the.. n the Tom Jones thing…” Heavy came over and moved Scout back into a chair. It would help to get him sitting upright, get the oxygen flowing. “Well, the good new is that Spy will wake up in a few days, and y’all can start to talk about it. It’s gonna take time to get his memories back, but that doesn’t mean we won’t try.”

“Don’t be discouraged. It is not over yet.” Heavy said.

They stayed together in the Rec Room after that. Scout was worryingly upset with himself, and they hoped that talking with Spy once he was fixed would help.