#fat cat squad

[punkeropercyjackson]

"Todomomo is bland and has zero flavor"Literally Todomomo:

[pineyw00dsshesquatch]

WAT?!

Was this a declaration or a gag, but did he have two shirts or is it just the picture??? I have to know, bless be upon Freddie.

HAPPY PRIDE TO MY QUEER FAT BADDIES!!!1!!!!!! FREDDIE LOVES YOU 💖🌈🍑💕🏳️‍🌈💖

[imsobadatnicknames2]

Surprised to see that you as a communist (and a lot of other communists too) seem to like disco elysium so much. doesn't the game make fun of communists a lot?

It does! Quite frequently and gleefully, in fact.

My blanket response to this type of question about most pieces of media would be that, in the words of Big Joel, "I am not a politics robot". My enjoyment of a piece of art is almost entirely orthogonal to how much its implicit or explicit worldview aligns with mine. And I think ultimately that's the way you end up having to approach media if you're a communist who plays videogames at all. Or reads fantasy books. Or watches anime. Or... you get the idea.

But in the case of Disco Elysium specifically I think the read that the game depicts communism just as negatively as all the other ideologies it criticizes is a quite shallow one. Ultimately we're being shown this world through a very communist lens. Like yeah the game has a lot of (usually pretty funny) jokes about firing squads and about "communism is about failure" and about pretentious overeducated college communists who do nothing but read theory and then do some leftist infighting about it, it doesn't shy away from the immoral actions of the revolutionary army, it depicts the dockworkers union as extremely shady and corrupt and basically a crime syndicate (although this depiction is way more nuanced if you actually take the time to dig deeper and talk to people about it), and generally doesn't shy away from pointing at the ugly parts of a variety of communist movements past and present. But, under all of that, the game's understanding of issues like class and poverty and crime and colonialism and imperialism and international conflict is ultimately rooted in a very marxist worldview.

I once saw someone say something along the lines of "everyone in this game talks like a communist regardless of political alignment", and while that's obviously an extremely hyperbolic statement, I do think there's a nugget of truth in it, the clearest example being Joyce Messier. Joyce is an ultraliberal, the furthest thing from a communist you're going to find in the DE universe. And yet, when she talks about the world she does so in very marxist terms, like in her famous "Capital has the ability to subsume all critiques into itself" quote. Like. You'd never catch a real libertarian expressing that idea Like That. And a lot of the more serious, in-depth political discussions in the game are similar.

Plus, ultimately... regardless of how much criticism the game piles on it, of all the ideologies it criticizes, communism is the only one which is not depicted as a completely lost cause. The communist vision quest ends on a quite hopeful note, unlike pretty much any other one, and the Union is ultimately shown as having tons of popular support because they're the only ones who have actually gotten shit done to somewhat improve the lives of the people of Martinaise. I have lots of thoughts about the way Evrart Claire and the Dockworkers union are depicted actually, but for the time being I'm just going to say that the read of "unions are corrupt and union leaders are greedy fat cats who only care about their personal gain", while not exactly lacking in textual support, is likewise an extremely shallow one.

[darkopsiian]

So if you where to have any of the canon slugcats as a roommate/pet which one would you choose? Each one would come with their own unique ways to care for them. I mean you wouldn't be able to get anything out of Artificer's mouth without calling the bomb squad lol

i want gourmand because he'd just be this giant fat cat that's entirely self reliant it.

boys hungry? he makes a meal for both of us to enjoy.

need a hug? i will hold that fatass for hours and not complain.

[2-dsimp]

The Sniper is known to become aggressive especially when it concerns his darling

In fact Ossian’s one of the most possessive members of the hitman squad if not within the top 3. Even though he’s reserved and has trouble expressing himself outwardly he won’t hesitate to cut a bitch for his love. Not to mention that just the thought of having his darling be with someone other than himself.

Physically pains him to the point he’s dramatically crying fat tears of anguish, while laying sick in bed being all depressed. Whining at you pathetically, asking a stand alone picture of you over and over if having him alone really wasn’t enough for you. So the probability of him being poly with any other of the members would be close to zero.

Now the Hacker on the other hand is one of the chill ones in the squad where he wouldn’t have minded sharing you. If only he could have the most time with you since Yujin’s borderline obsessive and in constant need of love and affection. Basically consider him as a high maintenance cat who’d always paw at you to make sure you’re paying attention to him.

Now if there ever was a certain slim chance where they find themselves in a poly relationship together. All hell would break loose, because whenever the Sniper is paired with the Hacker his personality does a complete 180. Ossian’s general aloof personality turns bold as his newfound competitive personality shines through.

Generally speaking Yujin always gets on his nerves since he’d be the one instigating stuff trying to get a rise out of him like the cheeky piece of shit he is.

And since said Hacker apparently finds the Sniper’s reactions to be so amusing, he always makes sure to stress him out to the point where the Ossian is growling profanities at him aiming his sniper rifle to shoot him dead in the head. While he’s being held back by the confused Strategist who came out to complain what the ruckus was all about.

They’d be just like cats and dogs always trying to get the one up on each other when it comes to you.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Fuck off you little shit they’re mine!”

-Sniper

“Lol cmon dude show some restraint. You’ve already been at it for so long that they’re already tired of your boring dick so move over and let me give ‘em something much more refreshing~”

-Hacker

[sapphim]

Since everyone's been so nice about the other snippet I posted 👉👈 here are the good bits from sth else with the warden squad I wrote last year (since I might never get around to sprucing up the long and boring bits). Right after Lothering before anyone involved knows how to get along with each other so they're all kind of just standing around being assholes 🩷

—

"Not to catastrophize," Alistair says, to nobody in particular, "but when they find their way back and inform us with deep regret that they have no idea where we are or where we're going and we all die in the woods after wandering in circles for weeks, I'm going to say 'I told you so'."

"That's not going to happen."

Alistair twists around to gawk at Sten. The Qunari soldier has been standing at the outskirts of the group, stone-faced and completely unmoving—as far as Alistair can tell—since they paused their slow march through the woods.

"I think that's the first thing I've heard you say all day," he says incredulously. "Humor me. Why won't it?"

"Because in this scenario you've crafted in your mind, you'll be too dead to say 'I told you so'."

"They'll be my dying words," Alistair insists. "As I lay dying in the underbrush I'll croak, 'I told you this is exactly how it would happen, Sten,' and then I'll perish on the spot. See if I don't."

"I look forward to it," Sten says. "At least then you'll be quiet."

"It'll be a touching moment," Alistair says, settling back down into his seat at the base of a tree and staring up into the canopy, "and you'll miss me when I'm gone. You'll see."

"If it will make you feel any better," Zevran pipes up from his seat on low branch a short distance away, "if the end does come—which I very much doubt, mind, given what a capable group you have assembled here—I can swear that I will ensure you a swift and dignified death."

"Absolutely not," Alistair growls.

"My apologies," Zevran says mildly, as he has found himself doing not infrequently over the last few days since his initial ill-fated encounter with the wardens. "The offer was meant with no ill intent."

"Do not stab me."

—

"What's that?" Micah asks, pointing upward. Alistair and Rafael crane their heads to look at the rustling tree branch she's indicated.

"That, my dear, is another squirrel," Zevran says.

"Squirrel," she repeats under her breath.

"Don't have squirrels in Orzammar?" Alistair says, conversationally.

"We've got nugs," Micah says. "And moles. Mice. Deepstalkers. No squirrels."

"I guess everywhere has mice," Rafael muses.

"The one thing that unites us despite all our differences," Alistair agrees. "Mice in the larder. Hey, Sten, do Qunari have–"

"They're returning," Sten interrupts, nodding curtly in the direction of more rustling brush, where glimpses of Leliana's pale skin and vivid red hair can be caught through the trees.

The mabari crashes out of the underbrush first, panting and wiggling with an excess of excitement. A few moments later, the rest of the wayward scouts rejoin the waiting party.

"We have determined the proper course to reach our destination, and located a camp site for the night," Morrigan announces. "No need to thank us."

"And we saw the fattest squirrel I've ever seen in my life," Leliana adds cheerfully. The dog barks in agreement.

Morrigan sighs. "Yes. And—more importantly—a sight which has never before been witnessed by man nor beast. A fat squirrel. Again, no need to–"

—

"Could you tell if something is possessed by a spirit?" she asks.

The young mage twists the cuffs of his sleeves between his fingers, chewing on his lip. "I– I should be able to," he says. "Yes. I– Yes, I can do that."

"Spoken with remarkable confidence," Morrigan says dryly, earning her a reproachful glare from Alistair.

"Not all that many haunted trees in the middle of the lake, I'd think," he says.

"There was a cat, once," Rafael says, "that got possessed by a demon and went on a rampage through the tower. It killed three templars before they brought it down."

"Ah, 'tis a heartwarming tale that would bring a smile to anyone's face, would it not?"

The mabari huffs and snorts in response.

"Aw, I bet a nasty demon cat would be no match for you," Alistair says, crouching to scratch the pleased mabari vigorously behind the ears. "Isn't that right, Barkspawn? Because you're a good boy! Yes you are!"

"We weren't allowed to have cats in the tower after that," Rafael mutters in conclusion.

"Not allowed," Morrigan repeats derisively. "'Tis a wonder that anything would be allowed to begin with."

"For the mice," Rafael says glumly.

Alistair extricates himself with some effort from the wet, sloppy kisses the mabari is determined to plant all over his face. "Did you get demon mice after that?" he asks, with the gleeful tone of someone who has only just considered the possibility of demon mice and finds it funnier than they probably should.

—

As they fall into line behind the Dalish elf, Micah muses aloud to no one in particular, "So, I'm not entirely sure what a cat is."

Eydis snorts derisively. "It's a surface animal with four legs and a tail. I've been here as long as you have. How do you not know that?"

"Excuse me?" Micah snaps. "You just described every surface animal. They all have four legs and a tail. Or they're birds."

"It's got fur."

"They've all got fur. You're just describing the dog."

The dog in question barks.

"Smaller than the dog. And with a fluffy tail."

"That's squirrels."

"Bigger than squirrels," Eydis huffs. "They were all over the human settlements. Pay more attention next time, brand."

"Watch it, salroka," Micah growls.

"Perhaps I could draw some pictures tonight," Leliana says appeasingly.

"Perhaps you should write a song in memory of the princess, in case I finally kill her tonight."

"Don't be so sensitive," Eydis chastises.

"I've been lead to understand that we are all strictly forbidden from killing each other here," Zevran interrupts cheerfully, "or is that just me?"

"Do not stab me," Alistair repeats.

"I swear on my life," Zevran says, "I will make no attempt to harm you unless I am paid a great deal more coin and I have reason to understand that forsaking your company would be to my overall benefit. Neither of which I forsee happening in the middle of a haunted forest. Perhaps that may set your mind at ease?"

"That doesn't set my mind at ease! Why would that make me feel better?"

"Because I am being extremely honest right now," Zevran says. "Unless you would prefer I lie?"

"I would not."

"Nobody is killing anybody," Leliana says.

"Only a fool would do the work of his enemy for him," Sten says.

"Oh! That's very wise, Sten."

"It is not. It's common sense."

[haveyoulistenedtothisalbum-poll]

Tracklist:

40 Years Super Hot Body Ready for Party • Aries Taurus Gemini Cancer Leo Virgo Libra and Scorpio Sagittarius Capricorn Aquarius Pisces Fart Song • Butterflies Scared My Cat When I Was Burping in Your Face on Wednesday Morning • Drunk Log out with Spooky Music Settings on My Firm Tits Pictures • Grandpa Says Fuck While Grandma Screams What Repeated Several Times • Grumpy Trumpy Python Toddler Taxi with False News and Emotions • Hugging Blood Thirsty Vampires with a Transylvanian Accent and Slapped Butts • I Farted as an Official Statement Against Global Warming, Expressing My Worries! • I’m Handsome When Wearing a Bag on My Head, Said the Horny Motherfuckers Politely • Is That Cellulite or Just Your Ugly Face? • Kindergarten Farting Fanfare Discussed with Disgusting Asian Clay Warriors Terracotta Song • Leaking Ladies Xylophone Solo Learning with Lusty Lashes Song • Lisping on Penis Peyote Creaking Mirth Radio, Let’s Lisp! Song • Lowering My Filthy Boobs to the Height of Your Curly Chest Hair with Freckles • Mom’s Cleaning Closet Looks Like a Women’s Porn Stash • My Gay Expense Combination Password Gore Seeking Battle Was Sinning • My Hangover Got Hung over by a Hung Guy from Hungary • My Horoscope Sign Is Poop and Yours Is Farts • Nearly Touching Myself with Your Girlfriend’s Hands While Doing the Dishes • Peeing a Farting Swearing Shouting and Pooping in Different Languages Made Me Famous Song • Petite Girls Liked My Fat Farts in Skinny Jeans with Justice • Pooping a Masterpiece in the Little Boys Room on National TV Broadcast • Puerto Del Penis Summer Holiday with Topless Sun Bathing and Surfing Fun • Puking Girls Are Holding Each Others Hair While Selling Butter to Pregnant Vomiting Men • Real Sharks Was a Great Accessory for My Swimming Pool Party Massacre • Relaxing Music for Penis Boys and Vagina Girls, I Have Money Cash, Yes! • Rescuing My Penis from Your Vagina at the Last Minute, Whoah! • Scary Music and Naked Ladies Cemetery Collection Flickering Through Growth • Shaking Sausages in the Men’s Room and Dangling Coconuts • Short Temper Anus Removal with Lipstick on the Collar • Shouting Poopers to Girls While a Crying Man Is Pooping Poop, How Adorable Screaming Babies Are! • Silly Talking Childish Macho Man Thanking Prayers for God’s Food Yes Hello! • Skinny Bitch, Fat Bitch, Rich Bitch, Poor Bitch, All Bitches Poop! • Smelling That Pussy in the Air at the Private Night Club Farting Room • Smudging Chocolate over the Toilet, So Everyone Would Think I Pooped • Sneaking Beans into Your Butthole While U Talk to a Handsome Stranger • Snuggling in Satan’s Satin Sheets with Shattered Dreams and No Boner Song • Solitary Fighting My Big Toe with the Desolate Strangler • Spoiling Desert by Pulling Your Finger Thirteen Times in a Row • Strolling with Morning Wood in the Woods While Mourning to This Song • Stutter and Chinese Food Destroyed My Artwork in the Toilet Bowl Coffee Shop • Sunny Morning Boner at the Beach Gym Towel Rental Song • Surprisingly Soft Boobs on the Milf Statue in the Garden of Jugs, Oh It Was Your Mom Sorry! •

Taming My Daughter’s Boyfriend with Booze and Fists of Agony • Teleporting My Cock to the Urinals Hurts When Peeing Penis Action • That Penis Is Not Mine, Stop Accusing Me of Curing Your Cancer! What • The Brothel Cup Cake Dispenser Had a Variety of Chocolate Brownies Too • The Giggling Killer Was Invited for Tea and Mustard with a Former Laughing Idiot • The Headache Fuckers with Migraine Were Chopping Fucking Painkillers • The Itchy Vampire Vagina Was a Gothic Curse from Medieval Times Song • The Lying Bitch Hermit Ducking Group Was Insisting on Bitch Slaps • The Penis Teens Shouting Squad Declared War on the Vagina Milfs Departure • The Pussy Cock Was Meowing and Cock-a-Doodle-Dooing with Glance • The Singing Orgy Group Remembered My Fancy Birthday Party, Super! • The Sock on My Penis Shook the Genuine Spokesman While Crying Song • The Syphilis Motown Singers Were Blowing Deranged Adultery at Me Song • The Toy Collector’s Mature Attitude Otter Raised Homeland Security Breach • The Triangle of Pussy and Clipping Smoothies Burping Smootch • Typical Asian Food Poured into the Purse of an European Hooker Prostitute Igloo • Under Water Farting Wiz Nick Y Minaj Naked Twerking Shower Saloon Barf Thong • Updating My Profile Picture While Pooping Macaroni with Japanese Subtitles • Using Mother´s Panther Underwear Because of Broken Shopping Bag to the Store • Washing Hamburgers with Dirty Sauce in Leather Pants While Howling • What Ugly Shit on Your Finger! Oh, It’s Your Wedding Ring? It’s Very Nice! • Whistling and Farting a Heavenly Polyphonic Song for Dying Virgins • Violin Licking Sounds by a Hard Baritone Dick Song Licker • Young Girls Selling Old Men´s Boxers in Thongs with Soulful Tutti-Frutti • Your Butthole Swallowed My Telephone, Will It Come out from the Mouth Then? • Your Mom´s Butt Massage Seems Innocent at First, Before Handing out Religious Leaflets

Spotify ♪ Youtube

[panelshowsource]

so many fun things coming up!

qi (series u/christmas special) — dec 18th with alan davies, eshaan akbar, jo brand, jimmy carr

never mind the buzzcocks (christmas special) — dec 19th with daisy may cooper, jamali maddix, noel fielding, harry hill, leigh-anne pinnock (little mix), ricky wilson (kaiser chiefs) + special guests dj luck and mc neat, 5ive, the wurzels, blaxin' squad

cats does countdown (christmas special) — dec 21st with jon richardson, joe lycett, roisin conaty, danny dyer, joe wilkinson

i literally just told you (celebrity special) — dec 22nd with aj odudu, ben shephard, bill bailey, sarah millican

would i lie to you (christmas special) — dec 22nd with victoria coren mitchell, alex brooker, naga munchetty, melvyn hayes

big fat quiz of the year 2023 — dec 26th with richard ayoade, mo gilligan, katherine ryan, rosie joes, kevin bridges, mel giedroyc

would i lie to you (series 17) — dec 29th

taskmaster (new year treat) — jan 2nd with deborah meaden, kojey radical, lenny rush, steve backshall, zoe ball

qi (series u) — jan 5th with alan davies, aisling bea, urzila carlson, romesh ranganathan

big fat quiz of telly 2023 — tba with russell howard, babatunde aléshé, jamie demetriou, natasia demetriou, judi love, daisy may cooper

plus a league of their own, rob & romesh vs, late night lycett, a lot!!

what are you excited for this holiday season? :)

[sashkapi]

Do you have an character design about Kendall’s unseen older sister? And do you have any headcanons about her also?

I had designed her quite a while ago and apparently forgot to post. Sowwy QmQ

Linda "Linnie" Perkins :)

She is based on a bg character from "Spelling Bee", and according to Sandro we did see Linnie as a background character so you bet my ass was onto every blonde teen girl in the show jfjxjkdnvkjdv

AW YEAH, HEADCANON TIME

1. She used to be a cheerleader. But then her team found out she cheated on her initiation and got kicked out. (She immediately told a loser she had to date that they would be fake dating. She still didn't tell him about the final step of initiation, so Linnie was being just as cruel as cheerleaders.)

2. After getting kicked out, she actually joined the girl's soccer team and still does gymnastics. Girl genuinely enjoys sports.

3. Just like Brad with Kick, Linnie bullies Kendall, although she doesn't get "physical" often. Linnie would rather get some rats into Kendall's room or pour glue in her shampoo than pulling her hair.

As a note: Linnie still absolutely would pull Kendall's hair. Pictured above.

4. She calls Brad "Car-crash". The first time they actually talked was when Linnie was getting her driver's license and Brad was redoing the test for his. Now guess how Brad's test went.

5. She and Brad are sorta friends. Yes, Brad used to hit on her, but after learning that she used to be a cheerleader he kinda backed out (Kelly trauma). Linnie, of course, wasn't interested in him at all, but their shared "interest" in bullying their younger siblings made them unlikely friends. 

Or "Girlboss adopts a Boyloser"

(Brad still hits on her from time to time. The answer is always no.)

6. Already mentioned in my Kendall headcanons, but Linnie also has a cat named "Gretel". While Kendall dots on Hansel and frequently calls her nice names, Linnie treats Gretel like "Oh lawd, here comes that big fat idiot! Who's a big fat idiot? You are! Who has no thoughts in that little skull of yours? You have!". She does it lovingly of course. She loves Gretel.

7. The reason Kendall was getting a soccer ball in "Tattler's tale"? It wasn't hers, it was Linnie's. Kendall and Linnie used to play soccer in their backyard when they were younger, something they don't do anymore due to their strained relationship. Kendall is quite sentimental girl deep down, she didn't want something that has such good memories connected to it getting lost.

Linnie knows that Kendall got that ball back and while she didn't say anything - she really appreciated it.

Got her pink glitter pen in secret as a thanks.

8. Linnie doesn't have a "posse". She has her soccer team. That is kinda like her posse. After cheerleading and some "practice" when she used to play with Kendall - becoming an ace on a field didn't take long for her.

She is genuinely friends with her teammates tho.

9. She is actually really strong. Physically. Even by athletic standards. She can easily pick up several people without breaking a sweat.

After thinking that she is among the strongest people in her school (and later college) - witnessing Gunther's strength made her low-key terrified of him. ("Like wdym he can pick up several BULLS?! AND FREELY RUN WITH THEM?!?!")

10. Yes, she is beefing with Kelly now. Kelly is the one who found out about her initiation cheating and is the reason Linnie got kicked out from the cheerleading squad after all.

Brad 🤝 Linnie   Fuck Kelly

11. One of her ways to bully Kendall is to ruin her clothes. The reason Kendall's pink-green sweaters are fine? "No matter what I do, I can not ruin those ugly sweaters even more"

12. Linnie knew about Kendall's crush on Kick for a while. She didn't use it in her bullying because she has standards.

And she kinda just doesn't care.

13. Linnie go-to derogatory nickname for Kendall is "sissy". Just in case Kendall tries to snitch like "she calls me names!" to their dad, Linnie can spin it as "Oh my silly sis! I was calling you sis, you silly!"

14. Once Kick and Kendall started dating, Linnie extended her bullying onto Kick too. Only when the two of them are together, tho. Linnie isn't interested in picking on Kick alone, so she just ignores him (unless she's with Brad, in which case she just passively helps older Buttowski).

Don't ask Kick and Kendall how many of their dates were ruined by their older siblings.

15. Additionally, to the previous one: Linnie calls Kick "Pipsqueak" (Perkins' "call Kick "Kick"" challenge: impossible)

[flabby-flattie-fatties]

Muse list

Hi everyone, it's me, Kit. You might remember me from my blog Gasping-Tubby-Cuties.

I sadly deleted that blog when I got hit by an awful depression attack, but I'm better now, and willing to give this another shot if you would welcome me (Though I understand if you don't).

Thanks for reading, now, onto the gals

Just a head's up, all the muses are bottom heavy. However, if asked for, their shapes can be changed nwn

OVERWATCH

Sombra: 5'2, 990 pounds

Mercy: 5'3, 980 pounds

Widowmaker: 5'4, 700 pounds

Tracer: 5'2, 775 pounds. In denial

Moira: 6'4, 120 pounds. Feeder.

Moira is the new leader of the NeoOverwatch organization. This is only a fancy name of her business though, in reality, the facility serves to keep her fatties in check and well fed. She makes sure they keep getting fatter and recording them most of the time to sell their videos in her website. All that food, clothes, and research have to be paid somehow.

LEAGUE

Battle Bunny Miss Fortune: 5'1, 600 pounds. Fatty in denial being fattened up in secret.

Battle Bunny Zeri: 5'1, 450 pounds. She wanted to help Miss Fortune lose weight, so now she got caught up in a fattening trap.

Battle Cat Jinx: 5'4, 200 pounds. One of MF's feeders, she does sometimes snack though.

Battle Bat Vayne: 5'6, 250 pounds. The brains of the operation, it was her idea to fatten Sarah and then Zeri. However, she has a hard time not eating part of the products

Battle Bunny Aurora: 5'5, 210 pounds. Secretary who works at the Anima Squad HQ; she discovered a sudden influx of money tied to the sudden growth of all the girls and is now investigating it. Addicted to snacking, especially when busy.

Vex: 4'0, 800 pounds.

Tristana: 4'3, 800 pounds.

Poppy: 4'7, 800 pounds.

Lulu: 4'0, 80 pounds. Lulu is a crazy feeder. Her lust of fatties went to the point that she fattened up every woman in Bandle City up to immobility. Now, she lives with her 3 wives friends, making sure they are all as lazy and obese as possible, while also giving them loads of love. She is not above fattening up any girl that catches her eye.

Caitlyn: 5'1, 800 pounds. A pure ball of lard with pathetic stamina, even worse willpower, and in deep denial. Barely mobile.

VI: 6'5, 200 pounds (pure muscle). VI used to be a fatty, however, Caitlyn took it on herself to help her lose weight by eating her food. Now, Vi is a pure beefcake who lives to pamper, spoil, and keep her beloved princess fat and in denial.

PERSONA

Ann & Rise: 5'4 and 5'2, 300 pounds and 280 pounds respectively. Ann developed a fat fetish when she went to the US. Ever since, she has been trying to fatten herself up. Rise is her modeling partner in roommate, and sadly for her, being around someone who eats so much junk is affecting her own body.

Naoto: 5'3, 320 pounds. A detective trying her best to make a living in the world. However, her love for sweets and junk food lead her to quite a few embarrassing scenarios in front of her fellow officers. Things that only seem to get worse as she gets fatter.

Miscellaneous

Hilda (fire Emblem 3H): 5'0 (that's not even me, she is that short in canon), 150 pounds. Lazy and spoiled brat who will do everything to avoid any kind of physical work

Ivy (Fire Emblem Engage): 5'8, 180 pounds. Regal and proper queen, married to Alear. She is very formal and eloquent, however, gets embarrassed easily and becomes a stammering and blushing mess. Deeply afraid of ghosts. Looks after Alear by eating all the offerings for the Divine One.

[callsignspark]

Mar[r]y Me | part one

pairing: Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x Mariella “M&M” Vertucci (fem!OC)

summary: A love story told through friendship, laughter, and food.

series warnings: 18+ minors DNI, discussion of insecurities, difficult family relationships, discussions of food and alcohol use, eventual smut, warnings to be added as needed

word count: 2.0k

main masterlist

note: happy Friday! I'm so excited to share the first part of Bradley and Mary's story! a very special thanks to @gretagerwigsmuse for yelling in the DMs with me over this. Jordan without you the Bradley brain rot would not have taken over, and we wouldn't be here. after you read this, everyone go read about her version of Bradley and Smart Aleck; they are everything.

part one - indecision cookies

“C’mon, M&M! You’re not deciding on purpose! Just to be annoying!”

She knows he’s teasing; they’ve been friends for over a decade. That doesn’t stop the hurt from bubbling in her stomach or keep her from snapping at him. “Yeah, Reuben! That’s exactly what I’m doing! I’m purposefully going down to the wire on a decision that will change everything in my life just so I can piss you off!”

Guilt settles in her chest the second she finishes. It’s not his fault she can’t make a choice. “I’m sor-”

“No. Don’t apologize. I shouldn’t have made the joke. I know this is stressing you out.” She can hear him pacing through his house. As long as she’d known him, he had walked at the same volume as an elephant. “I know it’s a big change, and there’s a lot of things to consider, but what’s going on?”

“Nothing. I made indecision cookies. So you know… I’m basically there.”

“Wow, okay, never once have you been close to making a choice and made those. So, that literally does nothing except give you delicious cookies to eat. Which is great, but it’s already been a month, and I can’t even tell which way you’re leaning.”

It’s only been twenty-one days. Her brain interjects, but she doesn’t voice the thought, knowing her best friend won’t appreciate the correction.

It’s been twenty-five days since she flew from Pensacola to San Diego. Twenty-four days since she spent the evening with Danielle, Reuben, and his teammates. Twenty-three days since she interviewed for a new position. Twenty-two since she was offered the job, one that came with a big salary increase, better benefits, a higher security clearance requirement, and a thirty-day decision deadline. Twenty-one days since she returned home, a serious case of imposter syndrome setting in, mixing with her anxiety.

“I haven’t decided because I can’t figure out the right answer. It’s a great opportunity, and I know I’d enjoy the work, but it’s such a huge change, and frankly, I don’t know if it’s worth moving across the country. I like what I do now, I’m settled here, and I’m finally starting to make real friends instead of just having acquaintances from work. It’s taken-” A crash interrupts her. “Reuben! What was that?! Are you okay?”

“I tripped over Boo-Boo and almost took out the side table. Stupid ass cat.” She can hear him fighting with the fat, orange tabby under his breath. “I’m fine. Keep going; we’re listening.”

“You were probably in his way!”

“Stop defending the cat! He can’t hear you, and he was in the wrong! And stop deflecting. You were saying it’s taken…”

“It’s taken me four years to get comfortable, to this point where I’m not spending all my free time alone in my apartment. I move, and I have to start all over again. With everything. The search for where to live. Getting comfortable with the job. Making friends.”

“You have plenty of friends out here already!”

“You and Danielle don’t count; we’ve known each other since freshman year.” Her voice is flat, already knowing where his argument is going.

“Okay, fine! You’re friends with Mickey. And you liked Natasha and Bob! Plus, there’s Rooster and the rest of the Dagger Squad!”

“Reuben, knowing your team’s callsigns and spending a few hours drinking with them when I was out there doesn’t mean I actually know them or that we’re friends.”

“Yeah, true, but they’re good people, and you’ll get along with all of them. And you’ll make friends of your own! What I’m saying is that you’re not starting over with friends; you’ve got a foundation to build on, so that’s one less thing to worry about.”

“Okay, well, I’m also thirty-three and not getting any younger. I’d like to have a family one day; I want a husband, a few kids, and maybe a dog. That dream gets harder to achieve if I have to start over again.”

“Is this because of your parents?” Danielle’s voice is a surprise.

“Damn it, Fitch! Have you had me on speakerphone this whole time?!”

“I told you we were listening!”

“I thought you meant the damn cat!”

“Why would I mean the cat?”

“Because you’re an idiot-”

“As fun as it is to listen to the two of you argue.” Danielle’s scolding cuts them off before it can devolve into a repeat of The Incident of 2013. “Let’s get back to my question. Is this indecision because of your parents?”

“No! Why would you even think that?”

“For starters, you’ve never mentioned kids before!”

Danielle smooths over her husband’s indignant statement. “We know it’s something your parents harp on you about.”

The understatement of the decade. 

Mary’s family is a large group of stereotypical Italian immigrant Catholics from New York. Thirty-one people on her father’s side came from Sicily through Ellis Island in the late nineteenth century and settled in East Harlem. The men worked municipal projects, performing back-breaking labor to build bridges and dig subway tunnels, while the women suffered through the dangerous working conditions of the Manhattan garment factories. The family worked hard, the entire brood saving money to open a bakery just like they had back home. Vertucci’s Bakery – named for the family – opened in 1925 and was an instant success; people waited in lines that went out the door to get a taste of the old country. As the family grew, so did the bakery; everyone working to churn out bread, cakes, and pastries as fast as possible. Eventually, they outgrew the first shop, moving to a bigger location in Brooklyn the same year Mary’s father was born.

The other side of her family, the Romanos, immigrated just before World War II. Settling in Carroll Gardens, Mary’s great-grandfather was a dock worker at the Brooklyn Navy Yard, while her great-grandmother took care of the children and worked as a seamstress out of their apartment. Through the generations and the gentrification, the family stayed in Brooklyn, enjoying the strong Italian community.

Carlo and Lisa met on a busy Saturday morning when he was working Vertucci’s front counter. They fell in love quickly and were married just over a year later. Four boys in the four years after they were married, with Mariella “Mary” Vertucci following several years after the twins. She was a happy mistake. Wording that never failed to make her feel like she was two inches tall.

Despite being the youngest by ten years, as the only daughter Mary was subject to the most guilt trips and punishments growing up, her brothers seemingly unable to do no wrong in the eyes of the rest of the family.

When she was little, she didn’t eat enough food, and the women of her family criticized her for being too skinny. Then with puberty, she gained weight, and suddenly she was eating too much food. The yelling she had to endure when she went away to school - the first one in her family to do so - practically shattered the windows in her parent’s living room. Her mother was exceptionally upset because she had found a nice Italian boy for Mary to date, one who didn’t care that she was chubby. Constant complaints about distance when she moved to Missouri after graduation to work for Boeing, where she learned the ins and outs of all the mechanical systems of the Navy’s top fighter jets and worked on maintenance procedures to keep them running. The knock-down-drag-out screaming matches when she announced that she was being transferred to Florida to act as a senior engineering liaison between the company and the Navy, not once receiving any congratulations for her impressively quick advancement.

Not to mention all the subtle implications that she was a bad daughter for not producing grandchildren yet. Despite all of her brothers being married and having provided numerous grandchildren.

“I love kids, I’ve always wanted them, but given my luck with relationships, they’ve always kinda been a pipe dream. And I barely talk to my family anymore, my parents, least of all, no one knows I’m up for a new job. Only a few people here even know I went to California, and they all think I just went for a long weekend to visit some old friends.”

“If you take the job, when are you gonna tell them you’re moving to California?”

She snorts, “I’ll just call Danny’s wife as I’m about to get on the plane, and she’ll do all the work. By the time I touch down in San Diego, the entire Vertucci network will be informed of the address change.”

“You’d do that to your favorite brother?”

Danny is her favorite by default. Being the oldest meant he usually could be counted on to stop the other three from being too brutal in their taunts, but he also joined the teasing as much as he stopped it.

“He left my name off the Mother’s Day bouquet last year; this’ll make us even.”

“You didn’t chip in for flowers?” Reuben sounds shocked, knowing the importance of Mother’s Day flowers in the Vertucci family.

“No, I did. I covered Michael’s portion, too; that’s when Mia was going through treatment. He forgot to put my name on the card.”

“Wow…”

“Yeah, surprised me too. Especially when I got a call at the ass crack of dawn the next day, asking why I was ignoring the woman who gave me life on the most important day of the year.”

“Not to interrupt this venting session, but we still haven’t gotten to why you’re holding back on making a decision.” Danielle interrupts.

Mary hesitates, embarrassed to tell her closest friends about the problem. “I just keep thinking about the worst things that could happen. Which I know is stupid, and it’s just making my anxiety act up even more, but I can’t stop thinking about what could go wrong.”

“Well, that’s obviously not working, so what about the best things that could happen? I can kick Reuben out if you want. He doesn’t need to know everything.”

“Hey! She’s my best friend, too! And I’ve known her longer than you!”

“Only by six months! And you wouldn’t have become friends if she hadn’t taken pity on you and forced you to be her lab partner.”

“Let's see, good things… good things.” She interrupts the argument over who is her bestest friend. “Well, I could live near both my best friends for the first time since college. I could live in the same town as my goddaughter for the first time in her life. I could end up loving the job - not just tolerating it - and work there until I retire. The time difference could be good. I might be able to have a better relationship with my family if there’s extra distance between us. I could…”

She trails off, simultaneously feeling silly about what her next sentence would be and also afraid saying it out loud would jinx it.

“You could?” Danielle gently prods.

I could fall in love. I could be happy.

Her answer is just above a whisper, “I could be happy.”

Reuben gently breaks the silence that follows her vulnerable wish. “Are you not happy now?”

“I’m content. Which is good, but it’s not the same as being happy.”

“What do you think it would take for you to be happy?”

“I really don’t know… Force myself to make some changes? Shake things up?”

“Shit, I hear Annabeth waking up from her nap, but - and I’m sure you’ve already had this thought - but if you think shaking things up could help, I think you have the answer about the job.” Crying crackles over the baby monitor. “Okay, I’m gone. Love you - text me later!”

“Love you too, Dani!”

“So… what are you thinking?”

“How would you feel about turning the office into an official guest room while I find a place to live?”

“As long as you join the diaper-changing rotation, I think we could swing that.”

“Deal.”

tagging: @gretagerwigsmuse | @bobfloyds | @bussyslayer333 | @hangmanbrainrot | @mothdruid | @notroosterbradshaw | @princessphilly | @rhettabbotts | @roleycoleyreccenter | @roosterbruiser | @seresinsweetie | @thesewordsareallihavetogive | @waklman | @withahappyrefrain | @a-court-of-roscoe-and-baby | @genius2050 | @ohtobeleah

fic tag | credit for dividers here

[zagreuses-toast]

My Vimes playlist! I have many thoughts and feelings about him... this was the first Discworld playlist I put together and I started it after reading that dinner party scene in Men at Arms, which is why Your Racist Friend is the first song. some of these songs are ones Vimes himself would hate deeply but the energy or lyrics persuaded me to put them in. If you're interested in the reasoning behind the song choices, I'm putting that under the cut.

Thee Vimes song , just Him:

Get Better by Frank Turner

Being a watchman and The City, always The City:

I Predict a Riot by the Kaiser Cheifs

The Ankh Morpork Night Watch by Louie Zong

London Calling by The Clash

Shes Always a Woman by Billy Joel

All Along The Watch Tower by Jimi Hendrix (a conversation, Vimes gets the cover by Jimi hendrix which is rawer and darker than the original, Vetinari gets the BSG cover)

We Live In a Dump by They Might Be Giants

Sam and Sybil feelings (from vimes's pov mostly):

Synopsis for Latecomers by They Might Be Giants

The night Chicago Died by Paper Lace

Hey Julie by Fountains of Wayne

Work Song by Hozier

A Hard Days Night by The Beatles

Waterloo by Abba (for the whole describing sybil in military terms of it all)

I Walk The Line by Johnny Cash

Uptown Girl by Billy Joel

Answer by They Might Be Giants

Once in a Lifetime by Talking Heads

Hopeless Bleak Despair by They Might Be Giants

Fat Bottomed Girls by Queen (couldn't help myself sorry)

Next To Me by Imagine Dragons

Never Knew Love by TMBG

Vimes is powered by pure Rage and a drive to be better than he was:

Heel Turn 2 by The Mountain Goats

Believer by Imagine Dragons

Old Pine Box by TMBG

Can't Keep Johnny Down by TMBG

Hand Me My Shovel I'm Going In by Will Wood and The Tapeworms

Lets Get This Over With by TMBG

Demons by Imagine Dragons

Eight by Sleeping at Last

The Body Is A Blade by Japanese Breakfast

Hes also an ex-alchoholic

The Lady and the Tiger by TMBG (thinking of the summoning dark)

My songs know what you did in the dark by Fall Out Boy

Brain Problem Situation by TMBG

I think about Night Watch a normal amount (everyday all day)

Tubthumping cover by TMBG

Bringing Home The Rain by The Builders and The Butchers

Zombie by The Cranberries

At The End Of The Day from Le Mis

All the Little Angels (rise up) by DJ Boogie (fav interpretation of the song)

Prelude/ Angry Young Man by Billy Joel (this is a reg show song but I don't have a reg playlist, it fits Vimes too tho)

Empty Chairs at Empty Tables from Le Mis

the Communists Have the Music by TMBG

Cable Street by The Young'uns

Cap In Hand by the Proclaimers

Nina Cried Power by Hozier

Fortunate Son by Credence Clearwater Revival

You Already Live in Tomorrow by Fauxny

Vimes and Themes/Motifs mainly Dogs and fire (hes an arsonist and I think about this often, We all know the rain/water themes for him but can we talk about FIRE):

Hey Bulldog by The Beatles

The Angriest Dog in the World by The Superman Revenge Squad Band

Burning Pile by Mother Mother

Arsonists Lullaby by Hozier

Burn it Down by Vixy and Tony

You're On Fire by TMBG

Vimes has daddy/fatherhood issues

I Earn My Life by Lemon Demon

Cats in The Cradle by Harry Chapin

this is also why theres intentionally a lot of what I consider Dad music on this playlist, based mostly on my own dad's music tastes

Misc:

Confrontation from Jekyll and Hyde ( because of the whole Summoning Dark thing)

Facade also from Jekyll and Hyde (his reaction to rich people, also for the Boots line)

[lonetile4]

Reimi Hikari Canons

- She doesn't "hate" the SpecGru faction members, but she won't go out of her way to talk with them. She does enjoy being with Soap. She finds his accent goofy.

- Reimi identifies as a straight, but she has a huge crush on Valeria Garza, who calls her 'mi gatita'.

- She likes night time. She likes laying the roof of one if the KorTac buildings and sleep under the stars while listening to the nocturnal animals and insects.

- She's an amazing seafood chef. She knows how to prepare any type of fish in all types of ways, even pufferfish.

- She's loaded. Her father was the CEO of a famous company, and her mother ran a restaurant chain, which is how Reimi learned to cook. Once her parents died, she gained ownership of both businesses, but she let her parents' most trusted friends run the businesses. Assisting every so often.

- Reimi isn't often a large spender unless it's on fancy fish she wants to learn to prepare.

- Reimi often sleeps in trees. She often accidentally scares passersby.

- Reimi wears a bell on a belt loop to prevent her from sneaking up on people while she's on base. In the field she clicks her tongue three times to let the squad know she's nearby so they don't accidently shoot her. It has happened once.

- She hates it when people try to wave cat toys in her face or ask her if she chases mice, bugs, or laser pointers.

- Reimi has powerful legs but poor upper body strength. She often kicks guys in the nuts if they piss her off, which isn't too often. She has a lot of patience.

- She's a workaholic and will often work day and night finishing to put together intelligence reports. She hates feeling like she's being helpless when taking a break when she has important work to do.

- Reimi has been put on mandatory medical leave due to her workaholicism.

- Despite how skinny Reimi is, she can eat like a starving hyena. No one knows where the food goes because it definantly doesn't become fat.

- Reimi is infertile. Despite being young, she's already reached menopause. She learned this when she was 14 and hadn't had a period yet.

- She is often shy around new people, but will open up after a while.

- She likes strawberry cake. 🍰

- Reimi owns a Ducati and a fancy flybridge fishing yacht.

- She doesn't have much of a libido.

- She likes sleeping in weird places. It doesn't matter how uncomfortable something looks, she will sleep there without complaining. She sleeps in weird positions, too.

- While König and Reimi won't admit to being attracted to each other, the other operators of KorTac know that they are.

- The nape of Reimi's neck is an erogenous zone. Don't touch.

- Reimi loves going to the aquarium. She really likes fish. When asked what her favorite animal was, she said, "Fish, because they taste yummy." She didn't really get the question.

- She's really bad at social interactions when in public. While she can talk with the KorTac operators just fine, she struggles when it's with civilians.

- When she's stressed or overwhelmed, she meows as a stim.

- When she lies, her left ear quivers. It's her tell, which is why she'll occasionally wear a beanie.

- Reimi isn't in complete control of her purring. It happens as a reaction to being pet or praised. She can't willingly purr, but can stop herself from purring.

[dragonairice]

BMC characters as things people I know have said because everyone else did it

Rich: Don’t be a joker. Be a clown. Get paid for making people laugh ~ Jeremy: My position on this couch reflects my position in society Michael: What does that even MEAN??? ~

Jeremy: Oh my God Oh my God oh my God- Mr.Heere: What’s wrong? Jeremy: I just told Michael I’m Bi! Jeremy:...SHIT I JUST TOLD YOU I’M BI-

~

Chloe: I’m not in the mood for a boyfriend right now

~

Jenna: No no no, go on, I’ve never seen a trainwreck in person before

~

Jake: Wish I was a credit card so people would call me valid

~

Jake: One’s death and the other’s debt. Both equally terrible things

~

Jeremy: I don’t subscribe to gender

~

Brooke: Is this a rhombus?...I’m just gonna call it a slanted rectangle

~

Rich: What do you call a kid with no life? Jeremy: Me? Rich: Dead Jeremy: Oh

~

Michael: You would die without me Jeremy: I would not Michael: You follow me to the bathroom!

~

Jake: It’s not over till the fat lady sings Jake: And Christine is about to ask me who the fat lady is

~

Michael: Okay first of all, don’t question my thought process, second, good one-liners before you shoot an atheist?

~

Chloe: A piano’s still gonna be a fucking piano, no matter who’s playing it

~

Jeremy: Do your work Rich: What if I did you instead? Jeremy: Not in school bro Rich: OH???

~

Michael: I WAS JUST JUMPED BY A WHITE MAN Jeremy: I JUST WANTED TO HUG YOU JESUS CHRIST 

~

Chloe: I’m looking forward to seeing your half of our project Rich Rich: Yeah I’m looking forward to seeing it too

~

SQUIP: I’m aromantic Jeremy: You smell nice?

~

Christine: I know what it is I just don’t know what it is

~

Jenna [to Chloe]: You’re turning into a white woman please stop

~

Brooke: Did you see Jeremy today? I like his vibes Chloe: That’s not a vibe that’s a cry for help

~

Rich: Raccoons are the world’s natural vibrators Jeremy:...I don’t even wanna know

~

Jenna, vlogging with the squad: This is what virgins do on a daily basis

~

Brooke: I don’t get it- my triangle looks abnormal! Michael: ...That’s a rectangle?

~

Jeremy: My brain is not braining

~

Jeremy [Betrayed]: after everything I’ve done for you? Chloe: Do more

~

Christine: What in the diddly darn gosh wholly heck Christine: Sorry I wanted to see how many funky things I could fit into one curse

~

Christine [pointing at herself in the mirror]: You are no silly quirky; you are a fool

~

Chloe: If you guys can donate some money please do Chloe: I mean, I can’t, I’m broke, but like you all can donate

~

Michael: be gay, do crime Jenna: be queer, have fear

~

Jake: Hey what’s alliteration? Michael:...Aren’t you an English student-

~

Jeremy: I don’t have a death wish I just wouldn’t complain if I died

~

Christine [talking about her cat]: Do you know how many times he’s just peed on my things and left? Chloe: Ugh. Men

[mariacallous]

Mina Hsiang returned to the United States Digital Service, the US government's rapid digital fix-it squad, on January 26, 2021, when the streets of Washington, DC, had hardly been cleared after Joe Biden’s inauguration. She was one of the group’s founding members but had spent the past few years working for a health care startup. Upon her return, Hsiang worked on Covid response, and in September 2021, she became the third administrator of the USDS.

Her timing was impeccable. The organization had sprung from the infamous HeathCare.gov debacle in 2013, when the website for selecting insurance plans under the new Obamacare law crashed badly. Hsiang was a key member of the scrappy rescue team that turned things around, using principles of web design that were common in Silicon Valley operations but underutilized in government. Their methods flew in the face of typical arrangements in federal agencies, which would contract out digital operations to legacy firms with Beltway connections. Those six- or seven-figure contracts seldom demanded benchmark performances and often took years to complete, or were never finished at all. The tiny team of idealistic rescuers not only helped design a cleaner avenue to health insurance, but charmed the lifers at Health and Human Services (HHS) into enlisting them to fix up digital government more broadly.

The idea behind the new USDS was to bottle the same guerilla spirit that had saved HealthCare.gov. Ideally, these volunteers from the commercial tech firms would win the hearts and minds of people inside agencies like the Veterans Affairs (VA) or HHS, infiltrating their calcified cultures with the can-do spirit and constant iteration of a startup and creating digital government services as slick as the latest app from Silicon Valley.

I spoke to Hsiang this week about how the USDS is faring after two years under her leadership. During the Trump years, the agency had to scramble just to stay alive, no easy task when a target was tacked onto anything even tangentially related to Obama. The team survived through a combination of lying low and doing productive work. They managed to thread that needle, in part, because Jared Kushner was at one point infatuated with the concept. Nonetheless, USDS wasn’t thriving when Hsiang returned. “The last administration had done a lot to undermine staffing,” she says.

Hsiang took over just as things were looking up. Biden’s 2021 American Rescue Plan directed an astonishing $200 million to the USDS, ballooning its previously modest budget. That enabled USDS coders and designers to work with more agencies and start new programs. “There was just a ton of demand across government. So it was, ‘OK, how do we rebuild, scale, and up level,’” says Hsiang. It also helped that late in 2021, Biden issued an executive order making human-centered design a key part of the federal government’s digital interface with citizens. One radical idea: “In all sectors, services should reduce burdens, not increase them.”

The head count of USDS is now around 215, up from 80 when Hsiang ended her first stint with the group. “About a third of those are returners,” Hsiang says. Despite what she calls the “anti-sell”—a warning about the restrictions and financial implications of working for the government—“People still want to show up.”

Another part of her task was steadying the ship. Despite a number of victories in agencies ranging from the VA to the Department of Defense, USDS has enemies. Not surprisingly, some of those fat-cat contractors who enjoyed no-blame deals to create bloated databases that didn’t work pushed to constrain or kill this threat to their business models and self-respect. And apparently some critics just don’t like the idea of people in hoodies churning out code in the basements of federal agencies. The USDS has always dealt with pushback in Congress, and this summer some legislators launched an unsuccessful (for now) effort to strip $80 million from the USDS budget, claiming that the service wasn’t accountable. “What the hell are they working on?” one anonymous government critic said to FedScoop.

It’s actually pretty easy to see what the USDS is working on if you know where to look. You can find their work, for instance, on the Social Security Administration homepage, which has been revamped and streamlined with USDS input. “In November of last year it had 70,000 pages for you to navigate to find information,” Hsiang says. “We got it down to 280, which is much more digestible.”

Or consider the website that allowed Americans to order home delivery of free Covid tests. Instead of asking people dozens of questions before they could sign up, the drop-dead simple form just asked where to send the darn things. Yes, there was a speed bump when the site couldn’t parse some addresses for citizens who lived in multifamily residences, but that was quickly resolved. Two-thirds of American households ultimately participated, with over 755 million tests distributed. “It was a phenomenal example of the partnership between USDS and agencies and the White House and the US Postal Service—of how we can all work together,” says Hsiang. “We can restore trust by having a thing that operates as you would expect it to, that looks more like the products we all choose to use every day, rather than the ones we have to use.”

There’s a long way to go, of course. Matthew Desmond, in his book Poverty by America, describes how millions of Americans don’t take advantage of vital programs because they are difficult to access. “I think a lot about the opportunity for technology to reduce that administrative burden,” says Hsiang. One problem, she notes, is that getting help often requires a citizen to access programs from multiple agencies that are poorly coordinated. “One of our superpowers is our ability to work between multiple agencies.”

One missed opportunity is the failure of the Biden Administration to fill the post of chief technology officer of the United States. “It would definitely be better to have an incredible partner in that office,” Hsiang concedes. On the other hand, Biden’s current chief of staff, Jeff Zients, is deeply familiar with USDS, since he was once in charge of the HealthCare.gov rescue. “He brings us in and ensures that programs are running the right way,” Hsiang says.

I ask Hsiang how USDS regards generative AI because, well, my license as a tech pundit would be revoked if I failed to do that. “We’re looking at it very carefully,” she says—a line currently mandatory for those in her line of work. She cites concerns that AI bots might infect services with bias. But like it or not, the AI boom has to be dealt with. Hsiang cites an HHS website called Grants.gov that takes submissions for thousands of funding applications. A flood of AI-generated pitches is expected. “We need to respond to that,” she says. The USDS is also experimenting with ways to use generative AI inside government services. “We’re hiring for folks who really understand how to use and implement AI systems,” she says.

One thing hasn’t changed at USDS: its desire to spread a positive contagion of citizen-centric tech efforts among those bureaucracies. “One of our hypotheses early on is to see if we can do this culture change, with different ways of operating and thinking, and make it sustainable,” says Hsiang. “We’re currently working with about a dozen agencies who are trying to think through how they can build that capability internally.”

One indicator of this shift: The patient Hsiang first joined the government to save is thriving. Transcending its disastrous beginning, HealthCare.gov no longer requires outside support from the group’s geeky fixers.

Time Travel

In January 2017, I wrote about the United States Digital Service’s accomplishments, as well as its uncertain prospects under a president who might not be inclined to continue the Obama-created agency of tech hackers dedicated to Silicon Valley-izing government IT.

As the inauguration approaches, the mood swings at the USDS are Calder-esque. Dickerson describes it as “a high school graduation and a massive layoff mixed with a funeral that’s gone on for two months.” On the Facebook feeds of politically appointed tech surgers you see photos of final handshakes with the president; they’re wearing uncharacteristically formal garb and are often with their families; they have been ushered into the Oval Office for mutual thanks. Obama himself bid farewell to the team at a ceremony on the steps of the Executive Office Building last Thursday. He spent the better part of an hour thanking the team and telling them what a difference they made.

But they know it already, and the experience has made many of them reluctant to return to their previous lives inside profit-making corporations. Those jobs don’t seem so meaningful anymore. Some are sticking around the DC area, even though they hate it as a place to live. There’s talk about a loose network of tech surge alumni engaging in a new kind of insurgency—outside the government but with the same end of serving the people.

“Every hint I ever had was that the infrastructure of civilization was someone else’s problem,” says Matthew Weaver. “What a lie that was. It was my problem. I’m lucky to have the skills to address this. Now I want everyone who has an inkling of this to understand … to say, this is my problem.”

[bayoubashsims]

Get to Know You: Sims Style

I was tagged by @goatskickin

And finally, SimFile Share is back online!

What’s your favorite Sims death?

Gosh, I don't know. I've just noticed that ghost pets in The Sims 2 are so cute, though, especially the eyeballs.

Alpha CC or Maxis Match?

Both! I need the Maxis Match ones to recreate premade Sims and homes, but Alpha CC makes them more realistic!

Do you cheat your sims weight?

Only when it serves the plot. However, there's some sort of bug in my game probably caused by a bodyshape--the fat adult male often has a fat top but a skinny bottom. As much as I like my pudgy men, sometimes I have to make them skinny again cause I can't tolerate the bug.

Do you move objects?

All the time, just like in real life.

Favorite Mod?

Oh my goodness, there's so many to choose! @sunmoon-starfactory has been life changing. But I guess nothing beats good ol' SimBlender and the clothes changing rack. Staple mods to have!

First Expansion/Game Pack/Stuff Pack?

Livin' Large. My 4GB dinosaur computer back then couldn't handle more than House Party.

Do you pronounce live mode like aLIVE or LIVing?

aLIVE, clearly.

Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made?

Definitely Grandmama Addams. I don't know why, but it's just so satisfying to see her in-game with the shawl.

Have you made a simself?

And my cat!

Which is your favorite EA hair color?

Black. I'm Asian lol

Favorite EA hair?

This one cause it reminds me of the hot guys I had a crush on in the 2000s.

Favorite life stage?

Elders, as expected.

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

Mostly a builder. The game crashes too often for me to play it regularly!

Are you a CC creator?

A little bit. Trying to learn meshing but I'm afraid I'm too dumb for it.

Do you have any Simblr friends or a Sim Squad?

No squads, but I interact occasionally with @emperorofthedark, @goatskickin, @freezerbunny-sims2 @lilsisterg @funderberkersims @elvisgrace in our posts!

Do you have any sims merch?

lol only my traumas of the crash

Do you have a YouTube for sims?

Not really, but I've uploaded videos of my game on my personal channel here.

How has your “Sims style” changed throughout your years of playing?

Definitely more realistic and based on existing structures and principles. My instincs have gotten better.

Who’s your favorite CC creator?

Oh goodness, there's so many. I love @tvickiesims @jacky93sims @the-sims-of-frogton and @monilisasims

How long have you had Simblr?

I can't remember, but I had an older blog and I was invited to make a SImblr by @whattheskell!

How do you edit your pictures?

I don't lol

What expansion/gamepack is your favorite?

Makin' Magic and Seasons!