#Mar(r)y Me fic

[callsignspark]

Mar[r]y Me - part 8.5.2

pairing: Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x Mariella “M&M” Vertucci (fem!OC)

summary: A love story told through friendship, laughter, and food.

series warnings: 18+ minors DNI, discussion of insecurities, difficult family relationships, discussions of food and alcohol use, discussions of body image, conversations on what it’s like to be a fat woman trying to date in today’s society, extreme fluff, like soooo much flirting, warnings to be added as needed

word count: 3.6k

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note: happy Friday! I hope everyone had lovely holidays and 2024 is going well for you so far! I did have some issues tagging people so apologizes if you didn't notified! I really loved writing this chapter, especially since it's going to help set the stage for the rest of the story! (only 4 more parts to go! isn't that crazy??) please be safe if you have snow coming towards you this weekend, and enjoy these two pining and yearning for each other more than ever.

part 8.5.2 - rambling and rings

Friday, April 16, 2021

Mary waves at the obnoxiously large SUV as Slider honks and drives away. Leaning against the entryway table, she slips her heels off and wiggles her painted toes at the feeling of the soft runner beneath her feet. Shuffling over to the entertainment console, she hums as she connects her phone, choosing the song that was on in the car.

The dreamy guitar intro floats through the air, making her smile. And the last beams of golden sunshine disappear as she dances through the living room, enjoying the peaceful feeling that’s settled in her chest and closing the blinds in between twirls.

Good things are happening at work, rumbles that there’s a promotion coming on the horizon. The monthly call back home to her parents hadn’t ended in tears for the first time in months. Most of her evenings are spent in the company of at least one Dagger family member, helping Kris and Dani with their kids or enjoying the adult-only life with Aaron and Flora. Bradley is messaging her as often as he can, every email making her heart flutter, increasing her joy with every sentence he types.

Everything is coming together in ways she had never even dared to dream about.

An early dinner with Ron, Mav, and Penny was the cherry on top of a great week. The four of them laughing and telling stories the entire time, taking advantage of the warm spring weather at the patio table Pete had reserved for Slider’s birthday. As stories and photos were traded across the table, Mary felt like her heart could burst learning about baby Bradley. The only quiet moment of the evening was when their waiter brought an unordered round of drinks to the table, prompting the men to venture inside and thank the old Navy buddy that had spotted them through the window.

“Thank you, Matt; it was getting just a tiny bit too windy for us.”

“No problem, ma’am.” The young man smiles over his shoulder as he finishes turning the outdoor heater on. “Can I get you ladies anything else?”

“I think we’re good for now, thank you,” Penny answers, glancing at Mary, softening at the sight of the younger woman lost in thought as she stares out at the ocean with a content smile.

She watches as brown eyes drift from the water to the table, gentle fingers tracing over a copy of a photo that’s older than the girl studying it. Penny stays quiet, letting the sound of waves crashing on the sand accompany the slight furrow that creases Mary’s brow as she brings the photo closer to her face.

“He looks just like his dad, doesn’t he?”

“He does; he acts a lot like him, too, more than he realizes.”

“You knew him?” It’s not a surprised reaction, just curious.

Penny hums, “We weren’t close, but I knew him enough to see how much Bradley has turned out like him. He’s a good blend of both his parents.”

“Did you know Carole very well?”

“More than Nick, by default, but for the most part, we were at different stages in life. She was older than me by a few years. I was in college and she was a widow raising a toddler. But, as you know, the aviator community is pretty small, so we were friendly. I would even babysit Bradley sometimes when the guys were deployed.”

“He was a cute baby,” Mary says softly, eyes back on the last photo taken of the whole Bradshaw family.

“He was… turned out to be a handsome man, didn’t he?” Penny asks, taking advantage of the moment.

She smirks as the younger woman looks up at her through her lashes, a shy smile stretching her pink cheeks. “He did.”

“Can I ask you something while they’re still inside?”

“We’re not together. But we are going on a date the week after he gets back.” Now it’s Mary’s turn to smirk at how Penny’s eyebrows rocket up to her hairline. “That is what you were going to ask me, right?”

“It’s close enough. Are you excited?”

“I am. I really like him.”

It’s the first time she admitted it out loud to anyone other than her best friend. She revels in the encouraging energy and words Penny gives back, both of them still giggling like school girls when Pete and Ron return.

“What are you two laughing about?” Slider asks as he slips Mary’s wrap over her shoulders.

“Oh, nothing.” When Penny winks, she has the overwhelming urge to cry. The knowing look accompanying those two words is more affectionate and maternal than anything her mother has done in years.

Their hug goodbye lasts a few seconds longer than expected, and the gentle hands that smooth some stray hairs back make her throat tighten. Slider is quiet on the ride home; familiar with the many moods of Mary, he lets her work through her thoughts with the radio on low.

“Y’okay, kid?” He doesn’t speak until he pulls into her neighborhood, giving himself a five-block buffer to determine if a pit stop to the closest ice cream shop is required.

“Yeah. Just-” Mary pauses, trying to figure out how to best explain. “Just still getting used to it.”

“To what?”

“To how easy it is to just be me out here. Surrounded by people who have just folded me into their lives with zero hesitation, like I’ve always been here.”

“Mary, were you happy in Florida?”

“I was content. Getting to know you helped with that a lot, but let’s face it; if I was happy, I wouldn’t have been so excited to leave.”

“And you’re happy now?”

“I am. I can’t remember the last time I was this happy.”

It's a cheesy line, but true. She knew that when she said it, accepting the light teasing that followed with a smile. One that hadn’t left her face as she said goodbye to her mentor, one that grows as the song starts again. She can’t help how big her grin gets. This song always reminds her of Bradley.

“I'm in love, I'm alive. I belong to the stars and sky.”

Letting the song stay on repeat, Mary stops in the kitchen for some water on her way to the bedroom. It’s still early - not even eight yet - but a full night’s sleep is calling her name, eyelids feeling heavy.

She slips her clothes off, folding the jeans for tomorrow and tossing her shirt in the laundry. A small groan of relief accompanies the unclasping of her bra before she slings it into the hamper. Turning the bedroom speakers down slightly as she enters the bathroom, a grimace instantly creases her face when she catches sight of herself in the mirror.

“Jesus…” Her disbelief echoes in the room as gentle fingers rub over the harsh red lines where her clothes dug into her skin. It’s evident where the waistband of her jeans sat all day. And the tender spots under her arms lets her know it’s time to look for better-fitting bras, again. Mary tugs the leg of her panties up, relieved to see at least one piece of clothing hasn’t left its mark.

She’s massaging the sore spots on her chest, letting her warm hands diminish the pain, when her phone rings. Her eyebrows furrow deeper at the unknown number flashing across the screen.

Usually, at this time of night, she’d ignore an unknown number and let the other person leave a voicemail, but something in her gut tells her to pick up before it’s too late.

“Hello?” There’s a muffled response, and she scrambles to disconnect her phone from the speakers. “Hello? Can you hear me?”

“Hello, ma’am. Can I speak to Mariella Vertucci?”

“May I ask who’s calling?”

“This is Lieutenant Corso in the communications bay on the USS Roosevelt. Can you confirm your identity with your full name, birthday, and the eight-digit code given to you by Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw?”

Mary’s heart stops for a second. This is it. Bradley is calling. She’s going to get to talk to him after forty-eight days. Hear his voice. See his face.

“Ma’am?”

“Sorry. Mariella Theresa Vertucci, born March 14, 1987. The code is 0125-2020.”

“Thank you, ma’am. One minute, please.” The soft clacking of a keyboard filters through the phone, the Lieutenant's tongue clicking as he types. “You’ve been verified. Does the phone you’re using have video chat capabilities.”

“It does, Lieutenant.”

“Excellent. Stay on the line, and in a few minutes, a video chat will come through with Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw. You have been allotted 30 minutes today. I am required to remind you that communication is not secure. This means, for security purposes, you cannot ask what time of day it is, what location, or how any missions have gone. Please confirm that you understand.”

“I understand.”

“Thank you. I am also required to let you know that this video chat is conducted in a private area and will not be monitored. However, the audio will be recorded, so any lewd acts are discouraged but not forbidden.”

Mary can’t help the snort that escapes. “But not forbidden?”

“Uh- the uh-” She smothers a chuckle at how the kid trips over his words. “The Navy understands that loved ones are apart for long periods of time and can’t forbid any uh- urges that couples may wish to act upon during their chats. But we are legally required to inform everyone of the recording.”

“Ah, I see. Thank you, Lieutenant.”

“No problem, ma’am. Please stay on the line, and your loved one will be joining shortly.” She giggles at how quickly the hold music starts, humming along to Anchors Aweigh as she clips her hair up, ready to take her makeup off. She’s about to wet a washcloth when the music cuts, and the video call comes through.

Taking a second to look herself over, Mary admires the tendrils that have escaped, perfectly framing her cheeks that are still flushed from the wine she had with dinner. The slightest bit still tipsy and a little frazzled about Bradley, she realizes just in time that she’s still only in her underwear, hitting the accept button and dropping the phone on the counter.

“One second! Just- oh, come on! Fuck!” She curses under her breath as she struggles to slip into her bathrobe. “Hang on, Bradley!”

Finally getting both arms in, she ties the robe, eyebrows raising in surprise at how it cinches her waist, before eagerly grabbing her phone.

“Hi, Mary.”

“Hi, Bradley.”

She greedily drinks him in. It’s been 48 days since she’s seen his handsome face or heard his warm voice - the longest since they met - and she’s missed him. Her heart clenches at how tired he looks, the bags under his eyes more pronounced than ever.

“Hi, honey.” The sweet name hits something deep inside, and she can’t help the tears that immediately form or the way her bottom lip wobbles. “Oh, shit, Mary. Please don’t cry, honey.”

The emotional reaction surprises even her; she was expecting to be a bit overwhelmed, but nothing like this. It makes her feel a little ridiculous, crying about a man she’s barely even kissed. But you love him, her brain chimes in, sending more heat to her face.

“This is your uncle’s fault!” She laughs, swiping tears away and propping her phone against the mirror.

“Mav?”

She can’t help but giggle at his disbelieving tone as she reaches for a tissue. “No, Slider. He’s in town this week, and he may or may not - but definitely did - get me tipsy at dinner, like he always does!”

She trills on about dinner, telling him about the childhood stories that were shared and the baby photos that now live on her phone, not noticing the look on his face until he interrupts.

“You getting in the shower, Mary?”

The husky tone immediately grabs all of her attention, a shiver running down her spine at the smoldering look on Bradley’s face. She follows his eyes down, surprised to see how much her robe has come undone. The valley between her breasts is completely visible, and the fabric is threatening to expose her belly button - and more - if it’s not fixed.

“Oops…” She mumbles to herself, tightening the robe so much it pushes her cleavage together.

Normally, this is where her insecurities would ruin the moment - flooding her brain with terrible things. Make her spend the rest of the call analyzing how she looks in the tiny corner box, agonizing how prominent her double chin is from this angle. But the soft fuck that crackles through the phone squashes the anxieties before they can take root, shifting her attention to admire the man looking back at her.

And god, he is a man.

Bradley Bradshaw has always been gorgeous: tall, strong, and deliciously tan. But mid-deployment Bradley Bradshaw is a vicious attack to the senses. And the hormones.

His broad shoulders have gotten broader, filling the little privacy cubicle in the communications room so much that he’s brushing both sides of the walls. His curls are more golden than usual, clear evidence of time spent flying in the Pacific tropics. His tan is deeper, too, glowing even in the harsh florescent lighting, the bridge of his nose slightly sunburnt. His neatly trimmed mustache moves with his lush pink lips, warmth building in her core as her thoughts drift to the memory of how they felt pressed against hers.

“Mary?” She hums, eyes focusing back into the present and away from her favorite post-deployment reunion fantasy. “Whatcha thinking about?”

“You.”

It's clear he wasn’t expecting that answer from the way he drags a hand over his mouth to muffle a cruse, his eyes scrunching shut.

She wasn’t expecting it either; the effects of the wine have mostly worn off, leaving her with flushed cheeks and apparently a slightly looser tongue. She can’t bring herself to be embarrassed about the overly honest answer. Communicating exclusively via email for the last month and a half has allowed Mary to gain confidence in Bradley’s feelings. It’s hard to wonder about his intentions when every email ends with him telling her how many days are left until he’s home.

“Your lips…” She continues, emboldened as the last remnants of wine soften the sharp edges of her insecurities and the pink working its way up his neck. She loves how easily Bradley blushes for her. Their few kisses have always ended with his cheeks a lovely, rosy shade. “How soft your hair is. Your mustache. How strong you are. How much I miss you…”

The words make them both pause. It’s not an uncommon phrase, every email containing some variation of the sentiment, but hearing the words out loud makes it real. Cementing the longing in their chests.

“I miss you, too.” The words are quiet, echoing against the tiled walls. She chuckles, throat thick with emotion, and Bradley can’t look away from her soft smile. His heart pounding at the emotion on her face, something he can’t quite place. He can’t stop staring as she picks the phone up and flicks the light off, “Where are we going?”

“Couch.”

He smiles as the familiar walls of her living room appear, grin going slack when she props him up on the side table, and the slit of her robe reveals a thigh that he’s dreamt about as she shuffles pillows. Bradley manages to pull his mind out of his post-deployment fantasy as she plops on her couch - that damn pink couch - and smiles at him over the arm, her eyes almost closing she grins so hard.

“I’m sorry I missed our call.”

“It’s okay, Bradley. I knew it was a possibility, and Mav let me know what was going on. I understand.”

“I want to hear about your birthday.”

“I told you about my birthday! We’ve discussed it extensively.”

“I still want to hear about it. I want to hear your voice.” He revels as she softly whines and smooshes her face into a pillow, thrilled to cause that reaction. “C’mon, please, Mary?”

“You’re not fighting fair.” The muffled complaint comes back, making him laugh, but she does as asked.

Bradley listens, humming along as she recounts her birthday for him and insisting for the hundredth time that it was his pleasure to give her presents. He lets her lead the conversation as it shifts to what’s happening in San Diego, content to watch her as she shares stories of what he’s missing at home. Happy to just admire her and occasionally ask questions.

It’s so easy to get lost looking at her. Dark hair swishing around her shoulders, just slightly shorter than it was in February. Her brown eyes look darker than usual, the low light in the room making them almost black instead of the warm brown he’s used to staring into. And despite resecuring the robe, it’s coming loose again, enough that the top curve of her breasts are visible; freckles dotted all over, disappearing beneath the baby blue fabric. Bradley thinks about what it would be like to connect the dots on her soft skin, tracing invisible lines with his fingers or lips. He imagines there’s more hiding behind the waffle material. He wonders if she’d let him find out.

The fantasy of how wonderful it would be to memorize every mark on her body is interrupted as red nail polish grabs his attention. He loves her hands, smaller than his but so strong when she’s working on a jet. Steady as she calls out instructions to her team, grease smeared up to her elbows and her nail color of the week shining through the black sludge. Mary insists that she doesn’t talk with her hands, that she managed to avoid that stereotypical Italian-American trait, but Bradley smirks as her hands swirl through the air. He’s about to interrupt the story she’s giggling through - something about the latest swear word that Danielle accidentally taught Annie - when something sparkly on her finger distracts him.

A ring.

A diamond ring.

A simple silver band lined with tiny diamonds.

On her ring finger.

On her left ring finger.

His eyebrows furrow as he tries to study the never-before-seen piece of jewelry. Mary must notice his confusion because she cuts her story off and flashes her hand at the camera. “I bought this for myself when I got promoted for the first time. I went from EI to EII, which is entry-level engineer to associate engineer. It was $50 from this little shop that was on the same block as my first solo apartment in St. Louis.”

Relief sweeps through his body, thrilled that Mary hadn’t gotten engaged with him.

“That’s awesome. Have you done that every time you’ve moved up?”

“Kinda? I always buy myself some sort of gift - last time, I splurged and got that big blender we used at the Christmas party. But I’ve only done jewelry a few times. I think I’m going to get a necklace next time, something to match this.” She explains, wiggling her fingers so the gems shimmer in the camera.

“It’s very pretty.” Bradley compliments, feeling bold enough to go further. “You look good with a ring on that finger.”

“Jesus, Brad-”

She’s cut off by the two-minute alert popping up. They had been so distracted they weren’t paying attention to the countdown timer.

“Already?” Mary pouts, forehead crinkling as she frowns. “But I didn’t get to ask you about carrier food.

“It’s bad, honey. Yours is so much better.”

“Or how you’re sleeping.”

“Reuben’s snoring has somehow gotten even louder since last time we shared a bunkroom; Bob, Mickey, and I owe you for the extra earplugs you sent.”

“You’re sunburnt.”

“I’m wearing the sunscreen you gave me; the sun is just strong.”

“I knew I should have sent the SPF 75!” Bradley smiles as Mary throws her head back in faux despair. “Oh well, now I know for next time, I guess.”

“Next time?”

“Yeah. You didn’t think I’d only send you a care package one time, did you? I gotta make sure you have everything you need. I know I missed some stuff this time, but I’ll get better in the future! I promise.”

I love you.

He just barely holds the words in.

“God, I fucking miss you.” He stares at the screen, watching the prettiest brown eyes in the world fill with tears at his words. “Oh, honey, please don’t cry. I’ll be home so soon.”

“But twenty-four days is such a long time, and I miss you so much.”

“I know, but we’ve already done 48 days. Twenty-four will be a breeze to get through.” The timer starts blinking, the last 60 seconds counting down. “I gotta get going, Mary. But you keep sending me flirty emails so I have something to read and think about.”

He chuckles at the little surprised noise she makes. “You noticed that?”

“Did I notice that? Mariella, in the kindest way, you are not subtle.”

“Well- I-” She splutters. “Neither are you!”

“I’m not trying to be, baby doll,” Bradley revels in her reaction to the pet name - mouth dropping open as she blinks at him, cheeks pinker than he’s ever seen - one he didn’t even mean to use.

The flustered hand she waves at the camera while yelling at him makes him laugh. “Bradley!”

“I would say I’m sorry, but I’m not. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Be safe. Only 24 days.”

“Only 24 days.”

“I miss you, handsome.”

Bradley's face feels hot, choked up at the look in her eyes, the softness of her words. “I miss you, too, baby doll.”

They don’t say goodbye, choosing to admire each other as the final seconds tick away.

5…

I can’t wait to see you in person.

4…

God, you’re so gorgeous.

3…

I don’t want to hang up.

2…

I miss you.

1…

I love you.

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fic tag | credit for dividers here

[rafedaddy01]

pls do a karaoke one like maybe they go to a bar tht has karaoke n sarah and reader r always singing hot ovulation songs or cute lovey songs (you pick whatever for the fic ;)

so rafes watvhing reader from the croud n hes js like damn thats my girl n goes n kisses her infront of everyone and shes in for a treat when they get homee

Crazy about you

He cant take his eyes off her. His girl. Shes his whole word and he’s stupidly, madly in love with her. Especially right now, as he watches her sing her little heart out, slurring some words from the alcohol coursing through her veins. Just The Way You Are, by Bruno Mars, blasts through the speakers and Rafe can’t help but crack a smile at her antics. Which is rare for him. Before y/n, Rafe was a reserved coke addict with anger issues. But now, now he sees the little things in life and he’s able to cherish moments, moments like these ones. She’s singing the words off key and she doesn’t even care or seem to notice that the song describes her perfectly. Her eyes do make the stars look like they’re not singing, her hair falls perfectly without trying, she is beautiful, and everytime rafe compliments her she doesn’t believe him. But she is all those things and so much more. Rafe stands from his seat, he can’t take it anymore, he needs to feel those soft lips against his. He needs to stare into those eyes that brought him back from the darkness, he simply needs her. “Rafe! Ohh baby sing this part with me” she jumps up and down, giggling as the chorus starts. Both of them shouting at the top of their lungs, her a little more than him, but it’s hard not to go along with it when it makes her so darn happy. And rafe would kill anyone who gave him dirty looks for simply making his girl happy. She finished singing and before she could pick another song Rafes big arms swoop her by the waist and tangle her up, pressing their bodies close together he covers her lips with his, supplying all the oxygen she could ever need. He kissed her with so much love and passion that they forget there’s other people around them. So lost in their kiss that she lets a little moan slip out and Rafe growls like a hungry animal that finally caught up to its prey. Eventually they pull back for air and take a moment to stare into each others eyes, words that haven’t been said yet passing through conversation with just their eyes. “I think we should go home” y/n wasn’t gonna argue with her boyfriend’s suggestion because that kiss made her hot. Even if she was having fun singing her little heart out, she’d much rather be held down by her strong boyfriend’s arms as he made her take him over and over again, lovingly of course..

Taglist

@f4ll-for-you @rafeysworldim19 @baby19sthings @sevenwivesofrafecameron @rxfecameronsslut @findapenny @r1vrsefx @spencerreidsrealgf @rafescokenostril @thievin-stealing @rafemotherfuckingcameron @dilvcv @starkeysheart @wearemadeofstardust0 @theoraekenslover

[miumura]

HIS EXPECTED FATE — JUNGWON FF

“ one day, i will stop falling in love with you. ”

PART TWO OF (Y)OUR EXPECTED FATE. ( READ FIRST ? )

SYNOPSIS Jungwon was going to try to move on—he had promised you. But, with his new career choice, he found himself writing books about his past lifetimes with you. As he convinced himself it would help as he could finally “let go”, you just had to come stumbling into his life again…after all, promises are sometimes meant to be broken.

( 🗝️ ) THE PAIRING author!jungwon x fem!reader

𓍼 WARNINGS character death, mentions of injuries (blood), use of petnames (my love + dearest), profanity (barely)

⌞ + ⌝ GENRE doomed immortal x mortal, angst, fluff-ish?

♡⸝⸝ WORD COUNT — 2.6K+ ( 2694 WORDS )

AUTHOR’S NOTE FINALLY part two is here !! i just loved part one too much so i had to let it get its moment one more time ( yes , we have favs around here !! ) writer jungwon is to DIE FOR and ugh, i just might write a long fic based on that idea SOLELY for my own satisfaction so yeah the wheels r turning in my head as we speak 🤍 but i hope you enjoy ^^

Jungwon should’ve known.

Each step echoes in the hollow corridors of his mind, a haunting reminder of the cruel cycle of fate. Your fragile form lies before him, a mere whisper of the vibrant soul he once knew. "YN!" he cries out, his voice choking with anguish as he gathers you into his trembling embrace.

With his eyes blurred with tears, he notices how you looked up at him, life escaping from you within the minutes, or even seconds you had left.

Through tear-streaked eyes, he watches as your gaze meets his, a bittersweet reflection of love and loss. "Jungwon..." your voice is but a fragile whisper, fading like a distant echo.

“Why are you still smiling?” His voice trembled, his fingers caressing the side of your face as if he was trying to remember every detail about you into his memory.

How could you still smile so beautifully during your final moments?

Searching into your eyes for answers, he notices you trying to speak to him. Yet, instead of words, trickles of blood start escaping your lips, only intensifying the moment. “Take your time, YN…” His voice quivers as he tenderly brushes away the blood that mars your once radiant face.

Looking at your current state, he knew time was no longer a factor. Still, those words spill from his lips, a feeble attempt to offer comfort to both you and himself.

"I'm always here for you, remember?"

"I'm sorry," you murmur, your voice barely audible above the relentless march of time.

As the weight of your apology hangs heavy in the air, Jungwon's heart clenches with a mixture of sorrow and regret. "There's nothing to apologize for," he whispers, his voice barely audible amidst the suffocating silence of impending loss. “I should’ve done more.”

"You've done what you could. I was the stubborn one," you reassure him, your words a soothing balm to his troubled soul.

"I still could've tried harder," he persists, unable to shake the burden of guilt that weighs heavily upon him.

"Stop blaming yourself, my dearest," your pet name pierces through his turmoil, a reminder of the depth of your connection.

How many more times would he hear it before you slipped away?

“Listen, can you do me a favor?”

“Anything you ask, I’ll do it.”

“Anything?”

“Anything, my love.”

“Pursue in something else in your life. Something that isn’t me.”

"How?" Jungwon's tone is laced with uncertainty, his mind grappling with the thought of creating a new path without you by his side. He’d always believed that you were the person he needed to have to live peacefully. But, the more he thought about it, the more he had led himself to the most painful goodbyes he’d forever remember.

"I know you can do it. You've spent so much time searching for me, knowing that I won't remember a single thing about our past lives—isn't that right?" Your words striked something within him, a painful reminder of the futility of clinging to pasts that can never be reclaimed.

"Try to change your fate," you urge, your voice tinged with hope.

"I can't see a life without you—even if you're in different bodies, or lives—I need you," Jungwon confesses, his desperation laid bare for you to see.

"You're..." you cough out, a sudden wave of panic flooding through him. "You're only going to keep hurting yourself."

“But—”

"Jungwon. Please," you implore, your voice barely above a whisper yet filled with unwavering determination.

"Okay," Jungwon concedes, his resolve crumbling in the face of your earnest plea.

"Promise me," you insist, your hand trembling as you extend your pinky towards him, a silent vow of mutual understanding and commitment. Despite your weakened state, your arm strains to support your hand as it reaches out to him.

Jungwon clears his throat, his own hand trembling as he interlocks his pinky with yours. A fleeting smile graces your lips, a final testament to the love that binds your souls together.

"I love you, my dearest," you whisper, your words a tender farewell as the grip of your hand on his begins to loosen.

Tears stream down Jungwon's cheeks uncontrollably as he watches you slip away, the echoes of your parting words resonating within his shattered heart. No matter the amount of lifetimes he has gone through, he could never get familiar with the pain he’d experience when losing you.

The only thing that was different was the thought of him finally wanting to take your advice seriously. After all, he did make one last promise with you.

“I love you too, my love.” he whispers, his voice choked with emotion as he finally surrenders to the overwhelming tide of grief.

“I’ll try my best.”

Sinking into his chair, Jungwon's gaze drifts across the scattered stacks of notebooks adorning his desk. With a flick of his wrist, he switches on the desk lamp, its soft glow casting a comforting aura over the room as he reaches for the nearest notebook within arm's reach.

With pen in hand, he begins to jot down the fragments of ideas swirling in his mind. As the words flow effortlessly onto the paper, he can almost feel the weight of his burdens lifting, if only for a fleeting moment.

Dropping the pen onto the desk, Jungwon stretches his cramped fingers with a small groan, the fatigue of sleepless nights finally catching up to him. Adjusting his posture, he straightens his back and pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose, the lenses reflecting words he had written in such a short amount of time.

Writing the last sentence, Jungwon closes the notebook with a sense of accomplishment, a faint smile gracing his lips as he flips through the pages one last time before setting it aside. It was one of the fifth notebooks he had put aside for this book—one of the books he’d spent so much of his time in because you had told him to follow his dreams.

So, he took it to heart, and he seriously never thought he’d be so committed until he finally managed to publish a couple of books of his own.

Finding himself in one of the bookstores, he found himself staring at one of the copies he had made. The countless hours spent hunched over his desk, the sleepless nights fueled by caffeine, and sheer determination had finally paid off.

Stepping closer to the display of his book, Jungwon feels a surge of pride swell within him as he runs his fingers over the glossy cover.

This couldn’t have been possible if it weren’t for your words.

Just as Jungwon is about to place the copy back onto the shelf, a voice startles him from his reverie. "Oh, you like that author too?" The sound of the voice breaks through the silence of the bookstore, drawing his attention to the person standing beside him—a cheerful stranger whose presence catches him off guard.

As he recovers from the sudden startlement, Jungwon's shock only intensifies when he realizes who is standing before him.

It's you.

You've been reincarnated, your familiar presence sending a shiver down his spine.

Quickly averting his gaze, Jungwon feigns casual indifference as he shifts his attention back to the shelves. "I was just curious, that's all," he replies with a slight nod, his heart pounding with a mixture of disbelief and longing.

Though he knows that you cannot possibly remember the countless lifetimes you've shared, the mere sight of you was overwhelming him. It was as if you knew, and you were simply mocking him for his misery.

“Oh, cool.” It would’ve been cool if he didn’t happen to bump into you now, especially since he tried his absolute hardest to not go out looking for you again. But, fate seemed to have their plans, and brought you to him like it was nothing.

“I didn’t know they released a new book—did you?”

“I’ve heard about it, that’s why I went to check it out.” he continues, his gaze fixed on the books before him as he struggles to maintain his composure. Despite the casual tone of the conversation, every fiber of his being longs to reach out to you, to hold you close and never let go. But he knows that such desires are futile, destined to remain unfulfilled in the cruel dance of fate.

He can’t fall for you again.

“Mind telling me what you heard about it? I’m quite curious as well,” Jungwon's heart races as you scoot closer to him, his pulse quickening for several reasons. It's been a while since he last saw you, and the sudden proximity is enough to make him feel flustered, a jumble of conflicting emotions swirling within him.

"Well, it's about a knight and a sorcerer," he replies with a bitter smile, carefully masking his true feelings behind a facade of casual indifference. After all, he can't afford to reveal his true identity as the author—not when he's spent so long hiding it from the public, especially for moments like this.

"Is that so?" you hum in response, your curiosity piqued as you peer over his shoulder to catch a glimpse of the book in his hands. Jungwon's shoulders tense up, unsure of how to navigate this unexpected interaction. Should he reveal his secret to you, or continue to play along with the charade?

"It's quite different as the male lead is convincing the female lead to stay with him—oh and I forgot to mention, the female lead is a knight," Jungwon remarked, his enthusiasm evident in his tone.

"Wow, that's kind of badass," Jungwon chuckles, momentarily forgetting his unease in the warmth of your reaction.

"She certainly was," he responds almost instinctively, before catching himself with a slight frown. "...from what I heard, that is," he quickly adds, cursing himself for the slip-up. He can't afford to reveal too much, not when his true identity as the author must remain hidden.

"What do you mean he was trying to convince her to stay though? What happened?" you inquire, effortlessly steering the conversation in a new direction. Jungwon feels a wave of relief wash over him at your gentle redirection, grateful for the sudden change.

"Well, since he's immortal, he had finally figured out a way for her to stay," Jungwon recalls, his voice tinged with a hint of melancholy. "But, she refused. And even with his pestering, nothing could convince her."

"Yikes—this author hates seeing people happy, huh?" you remark sadly, your empathy for the characters noticeable in your tone. "They always manage to write something sad, I feel bad for the characters."

Jungwon chuckles at your words, though there's a hint of sadness underlying his amusement. It's not that he hates seeing people happy; rather, he's grappling with his own memories, desperately trying to come to terms with the past in order to find solace in the present.

"It seems so," he finally manages to say, his voice betraying none of the turmoil raging within him. "But, you know, I haven't read the whole thing. It could have a good ending, who knows," he adds optimistically, though he knows all too well the outcome of that particular fate.

"I like the creativity though, I wouldn't have imagined this," you remark, your admiration for the author's imagination evident in your words. And as Jungwon listens to you speak, he finds himself drawn to the warmth of your presence, fully knowing he shouldn’t be.

He would only hurt himself again.

As silence envelops the room, Jungwon finds himself lost in his thoughts, the weight of his past with you casting a shadow over the present. But then, your voice breaks through the quiet, pulling him back to the present moment.

"I don't blame her though—I would've done the same," you added, your words tinged with understanding and empathy. Jungwon's gaze shifts to you, his heart aching at the familiarity of your smile. It's a bittersweet reminder of the lifetimes they've shared, each one leaving an indelible mark on his soul.

Meeting your gaze, Jungwon is struck by the overwhelming sense of deja vu that washes over him. Your face, so achingly familiar, holds a mirror to his memories—the way your hair falls in gentle waves around your face, the curve of your smile, and the moles that adorned your skin.

Your moles.

As Jungwon's gaze lingers on the moles scattered across your face, he can't help but feel a surge of nostalgia wash over him. Each mole seems to hold a memory, a testament to the countless kisses he had left upon your skin in your previous lives.

The urge to wrap his arms around your waist and kiss each mole floods Jungwon's senses, a longing that was meant to be fulfilled every lifetime. His heart falters, torn between the overwhelming love he feels for you and the bittersweet ache of your shared pasts.

You are just too pretty, he thinks, his breath catching in his throat as he struggles to contain the flood of emotions threatening to consume him. In that moment, you are more than just a familiar face—you are a living, breathing reminder of everything he has ever loved and lost.

He knows no matter how many lifetimes may pass, you will always hold a special place in his heart.

"Why?" Jungwon asks, his voice tinged with a hint of desperation as he searches for answers in your words, hoping they will provide solace for the choice you made to leave him in your past life.

"Living on forever doesn't seem like a good thing. It could get boring, so I would understand the female lead's thoughts. After all, not knowing the outcome of your life could only push you to work harder, no?" you respond, your words carrying a wisdom that resonates deeply within him.

"Even if it meant staying with your lover?" he presses, his heart pounding with anticipation as he awaits your response.

"Even if it meant staying with your lover," you affirm, your gaze unwavering as you meet his eyes.

Hearing your words stings, but Jungwon finds himself strangely grateful for the insight they provide into your perspective. They were all too familiar, and it was as if you meant to give him that reminder in every life of yours.

Perhaps he had always viewed love through a narrow lens, assuming that staying together for eternity was the ultimate expression of devotion. But now, as he reflects on your words, he realizes that love is as much about understanding and acceptance as it is about passion and commitment.

"I see," he murmurs softly, the words heavy with resignation yet tinged with a newfound sense of understanding. Maybe, just maybe, he should stop chasing after a love that may never be fully realized. "I understand, thank you."

Just as he is about to turn away, ready to take the first steps towards letting go of his past, he feels a tug on his sleeve—a gentle reminder that some bonds are too strong to be easily broken. Turning back to face you, Jungwon is surprised when you hand him a piece of paper. Confusion flickers across his features as he accepts it, watching as you walk away with a smile.

Opening the paper, his eyes widen in surprise as he reads the number scrawled across it.

"You're cute – call me? :)"

The boldness of your gesture catches him off guard, but a warm feeling spreads through him nonetheless.

Chuckling softly to himself, Jungwon realizes just how much he has missed you. Despite the promise he made to himself to let go, he finds himself unable to resist the temptation of reconnecting with you.

After all, you in your previous life never managed to keep your promises either.

With a sigh, Jungwon inputs the number into his phone, a mix of apprehension and excitement coursing through him. Perhaps, he muses, promises aren't always meant to be kept—at least not when they stand in the way of finding happiness and connection with someone he cares about.

Sending the first text, Jungwon felt like this was bound to happen.

As if it was his expected fate.

💬 : 🥸

ENHA PERM TAGLIST (1) — @flwoie @ixomiyu @haruavrse @shinsou-rii @bearseulgs @ilovewonyo @yenqa @dimplewonie @bubblytaetae @wtfhyuck @ineedaherosavemeenow @ml8dy @starikizs @wonioml @chirokookie @xiaoderrrr @neozon3nha @en-chantedtomeetyou @millksea @enhaz1 @eundiarys @hyeosi @ja4hyvn @judeduartewannabe @j-wyoung @thia-aep @vampcharxter @softpia @officiallyjaehyuns @itsactuallylina @hsheart @sweetjaemss @ahnneyong @hanienie @jwnghyuns @kpoplover718 @jiawji @rikizm @haknom @yeokii @wvnkoi @whoschr @teddywonss @shinunoga-iie-wa @isoobie @skzenhalove @misokei @s00buwu @ox1-lovesick @miercerise @litttlestars @enhapocketz

[cissyenthusiast010155]

Number 13 for marilyn please, maybe r goes to the greenhouse to ask for some help on something and sees marilyn having fun while moaning r's name

Hey there, anon! Thank you for the request and your patience. I love the idea, and I had such fun writing this little fic for you!! Hope you Enjoy ♥️

Feeling your Body ~Mommy!Marilyn Thornhill xFem Teacher!Reader

Mommy… Master List

Requests & Prompt-List

#13. “Oh. Ohhhhh.” *intensely blushes*

Warnings: NSFW, 18+!!, smut, semi-public smut, self-pleasure, fingering, teasing, pet names, mommy kink, praise kink, admittance of feelings, begging kink, degradation kink, implied future smut, implied voyeurism kink…?, implied exhibitionist kink…?, etc.

Enjoy (;

You hadn’t meant to see anything. You swear you hadn’t.

You hadn’t meant to see this new, unfiltered side of Marilyn. This dominating, slightly sadistic side of her… The side of the red head completely spread out on her chair, fingering herself and moaning your name—

You had come to the greenhouses to ask Marilyn’s advice on one of the students, Wednesday Addams. You had knocked at her door, but the woman hadn’t answered. You called out her name lightly. Nothing. You then decided to open the door, see if Marilyn was in the greenhouse at all.

But when you opened the door, you found another sight entirely…

“Oh Y/N…” the sultry voice moaned.

You gulped and stepped into the greenhouse even more. And there before you, sat Marilyn, playing with herself with your name on her tongue. But you had given away your hidden nature. The woman suddenly stopped and looked up at you, and you were completely frozen.

“Well hello Miss L/N…” Marilyn purred seductively, “How can I help you…?”

“Oh. Ohhhhh.” You stammered, intensely blushing, and finally coming back to your senses “I’m so sorry Marilyn, I-I’ll come back later…!”

“Stay, sweet girl…” the redhead purred, “Why don’t you come help me over here…?”

You gulped and nod, slowly making your way over to Marilyn. She was swift to pull you into her lap when you neared her vicinity. You yelped at the action, making the woman chuckle.

“Did you like listening to me moan your name, Y/N…? Marilyn husked teasingly, emphasizing your name.

Shivers went down your spine at her words and you blushed even harder.

“I… Y-yes…” you whispered, embarrassed and looking down to the floor.

Marilyn took you by the chin and directed your gaze back to hers. Her eyes twinkled with dark lust and she smirked with wicked intentions.

“Such a little slut…” the red head murmured, her eyes really taking the time to take up and down your body frame.

You felt her eyes wander, making you squeeze your thighs needily, which didn’t go unnoticed by the woman.

“Oh, do you need something, sweet slut…?” Marilyn taunted.

“I… N-need you… please…” you whimpered.

The redhead’s face flashed with satisfaction at your pleading. Her hand started to crawl down to your trousers, unbuttoning them, pulling them aside. Before you could plead any more, her digits ran teasingly through your folds. You bucked your hips forward in spastic pleasure.

“Oh God—!” You breathlessly groaned, “Again again please!” You begged the redhead for more contact.

“You look so pretty when you beg, sweet slut…” Marilyn purred wickedly, while quirking her head and drinking in the utter deliciousness that was you.

Her fingers ran through your folds once more, then going to circle your clit. The redhead only pulled more reactions from you, spurring her on even more. Pretty soon, Marilyn was three fingers knuckle deep inside your aching pussy, thrusting and curling away to your and her own pleasure.

“Mmmm need… wanna… cum please—!!” You desperately moaned, clinging onto the redhead for dear life as she mercilessly fucked you.

“Say my name.” Marilyn demandingly purred, “Say it and I’ll let you cum…”

“M-mar… Marilyn—!!!” You cried out.

She started going harder and deeper with her fingers, her curls becoming brutal strokes against your walls, making you see stars before you even hit your high.

“Try again…” She taunted with a smirk.

“M-m…Mommy…!!” You begged with another cry.

This answer seemed to delight the woman.

“Good slut…” Marilyn cooed, “Cum for me, Y/N…”

God, your name on her liess once more truly sent you over the edge. You collapsed in the redhead’s hold, your whole body giving up on you as Marilyn fucked you to high heaven, up, over, and down your climax. Desperate moans and cries left your lips, which you muffled by screaming into the woman’s shoulder.

Pretty soon, you were a panting mess in Marilyn’s lap. She pulled her digits out of you and licked them clean, moaning at your taste. She then met your gaze once more.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for the longest time…” Marilyn panted with the biggest smirk, and all you could do was nod in breathless agreement.

~~~

Marilyn Thornhill Masterlist

[kozumesphone]

♡ riordanverse m.list

rules ‧₊˚ ⋅ m.list ‧₊˚ ⋅ taglist ‧₊˚ ⋅ wips

── . ★ REQ. requests open !

✦ WORKS. 020

が ─── P. JACKSON [ 004 ]

✦ BROOKLYN BABY — 1.4k, FLUFF | percy x daughter of aphrodite!reader, best friends to lovers, y/n constantly yaps about the idea of love to her best friend, percy, and he realises he has feelings for her.

✦ MAESTRO — HEADCANNONS | skaterboy!pj x ice skater!reader

✦ FAMILY LINE — 1.02k, ANGST | emercy angst because percy is betrayed by emma (one of my fav moots!), hurt no comfort, nice!luke, CRY

✦ DATING P. J. — MOODBOARD | dating your fav son of poseidon <3

ぎ ─── L. VALDEZ [ 007 ]

✦ LOSS OF MY LIFE — 0.6k, ANGST | hearing leo’s voice over the (demigod-safe) phone as he tells you he’s leaving for a quest and may not come back this time

✦ TOO SWEET PT. 1 — 1.0k, AU | street racing!au, rivalry between the top street racers: leo and y/n [part II on hold]

✦ SWEATER WEATHER — MOODBOARD | dating hcs for leo x mori (one of my fav moots!)

✦ FAVOURITE — SMAU | mortal!au, library dates and cringe/cute moments with leo ft. the argonauts and others

✦ DATING L. V. — MOODBOARD | dating your fav son of hephaestus <3

✦ CRAZY = GENIUS — 1.0k, FLUFF | leo x daughter of athena!reader, comfort fic after all the crazy angst you’ve gotten, building engines with leo, cuddling

✦ PAPER RINGS — 1.3k, FLUFF | leo x daughter of poseidon!reader getting married

げ ─── J. GRACE [ 002 ]

✦ SUPERHEROES — HEADCANNONS | desc.

✦ DATING J. G. — MOODBOARD | dating your fav son of jupiter <3

ご ─── F. ZHANG [ 001 ]

✦ DATING F. Z. — MOODBOARD | dating your fav son of mars <3

づ ─── N. DI ANGELO [ 000 ]

な ─── W. SOLACE [ 000 ]

ざ ─── C. LA RUE [ 002 ]

✦ DAUGHTERS OF WAR. INTRO — MULTICHAPTER FIC | desc.

✦ DAUGHTERS OF WAR. PT. 1 —1k, MULTICHAPTER FIC | desc.

ず ─── P. MCLEAN [ 002 ]

✦ RED WINE SUPERNOVA — SMAU | desc.

✦ DATING P. M. — MOODBOARD | dating your fav daughter of aphrodite <3

ぜ ─── A. CHASE [ 001 ]

✦ GIRLFRIEND — SMAU | desc.

だ ─── H. LEVESQUE [ 000 ]

ぢ ─── R. RAMIREZ-ARELLANO [ 000 ]

ぞ ─── MISC. [ 001 ]

✦ LIKE WE JUST MET — 1.5k, FLUFF | christmastime fluff for multiple characters x sister!reader

୨ৎ INC. character x character / character x reader | mlm / wlw | angst | fluff | au’s + smau’s | imagines | headcannons | scenarios | songfics | no nsfw

୨ৎ CR. kozumesphone © 2024 | don’t repost my works onto other platforms, or edit and post them even on tumblr, without asking me first • don’t steal my works, steal my heart instead • reblogs and comments are more than appreciated !

[attapullman]

Ahhh! Positivity night!! 💃🏼 I thought I’d share some of my favorite cozy, feel good fics and moodboards!

rocketman: part i - it's just my job five days a week by @gretagerwigsmuse

Not A Lot, Just Forever by @topherwrites

Mar[r]y Me by @callsignspark

Baby, I’m High Octane by @laracrofted

Not A Coincidence by @sehnsuchts-trunken

The Zipper Incident by @tongue-like-a-razor

California Problems by @teacupsandtopgun

Wanna Dance With Somebody by @trickphotography2

And!! @ryebecca and her cozy moodboard’s but this one in particular

Thank you for hosting this Morgan and for always spreading the good vibes on here! (And for this moodboard because I stare at it more than I should admit, lol. It’s perfection!)

🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

Alexa! These are exactly the cozy vibes that Positivity Night needed! Some favourites of mine on here and some new ones for me to devour!

POSITIVITY NIGHT ✨

[hangmanssunnies]

I know I missed @lewmagoo 's positivity night cut off. Which first of all, Leah thank you so much for doing one. You are wonderful, and seeing mentions in my activity and all the positivity on the dash made me grin. However, there are so many fantastic wonderful people that I feel compelled to shout out! So I wanted to make quick post about it. This fandom is so great and full of kind souls and talent there really too many to name. Here are a few though ...

@bradshawsbitch Alex, is not only an absolutely lovely human but also a fantastic writer. She also puts up with me and my nonsense at all random hours of the day. Chef Rooster in Mise En Place is a complicated dream and I really wish he was mine. Not to mention her fic songbird which is some of my favorite Rooster smut. I haven’t stopped thinking about riding roosters abs since. She also makes very pretty gifs, which have been known to send me into a tizzy.

@top-hhun They just get Jake, he is always sooo well written and interesting. The way they write him is fantastic, line of sight is a particular fav.

@callsignspark I love Elle's writing and even though I am horribly behind on reading and leaving comments, I know their Mar(r)y Me fic is phenomenal, and loved anything for you.

@theharddeck so so so many fics that I could shout out of theirs but honestly my favorite might be their Coyote series. It drove me insane, and the little details they put in their writing is next level.

@wildbornsiren I have proclaimed shelly a queen of writing threesomes and I will do it again now.

@sushiwriterhere someone else I know has written fantastic threesomes, and I really loved all the content that came out to the threesome writing challenge they did.

@libraryofantiquitea I still think about their Jake fic Tell me my name and the two follow up parts they wrote.

@say-al0e it should be illegal to make me fall more in love with Bradley Bradshaw, and yet... they always seem to manage. I love all their fics though for real.

@sugarcoated-lame I love kricket's fics! Their recent Dilf Bradley story has had me particular enamored.

@myfaveficrecs I love their fics, and I love the positivity they spread in the fandom with confession Wednesdays as well as writer spotlights.

There are so so so many fantastic creators I could go on and on and on. Genuinely I love this fandom it's one of the best I've ever been in. Which is why I still am here over a year later some how. I love you all, and if I didn't shout you out, please know I do adore you too.

[gretagerwigsmuse]

do you have any bradley fic recs…

hi! yes i do! i’ll give you a couple different types (ex one shots, series, etc). this is definitely not exhaustive, but just some that were at top of mind right now! if you’re really on a bradley fic kick, i do have 55+ pages of things tagged “bradley fic” on my blog too 🤭 i’m a bradley girl through and through

hey sailor - witty, smutty goodness wrapped up in fleet week (rumor has it alexa is cooking up a follow up of shorts 💁🏼‍♀️)

the night moves - i’ve been loving this fic lately! it’s so different than anything i’ve read before and the attention to detail is unreal! it makes me miss living in dc! there’s some spooky elements to it, but my goddddd bradley is a dream 🤭 we’re getting a little angsty now, which j’adore!

mar[r]y me and all the associated one shots too! - i love these two! they’re so soft and sweet and there’s the perfect amount of fluff and angst and longing and smut throughout their story! mary is such a real character to me and bradley is so terribly sweet and kind (and can occasionally be a little too in his own way 🤦🏼‍♀️). highly recommend the entire universe!

superstar - this is a two parter, fluff and angst city. basically a you’ve got mail kind of beat? like i cry every single time i read it, it’s so good? and i had never heard this taylor swift song before reading it and now it’s such a smart aleck song to me 🫢

of all the stars in the sky - girl if you wanna lose your mind at some world building and die at wwii pilot bradley??? this one’s for you! like the attention to detail in this is amazing and there’s smut and fluff and action!? i get so nervous when a new chapter is posted, mila really ropes you in!

coming home to you - these make me BLUSH just thinking about them! the entire series is so so good and the love and trust bradley and the reader have between each other is so good! they’re also a little slutty (affectionate)!

[callsignspark]

Mar[r]y Me masterlist

ongoing series

pairing: Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x Mariella “M&M” Vertucci (fem!OC)

summary: A love story told through friendship, laughter, and food. Part of the Dagger, Sword & Shield universe.

warnings: 18+ minors DNI, discussion of insecurities, difficult family relationships, discussions of food and alcohol use, mentions of emotionally abusive ex-bf, mentions of pregnancy and giving birth, discussions of body image, conversations on what it’s like to be a fat woman trying to date in today’s society, eventual smut, warnings to be added - check individual chapter warnings for more details

part one | indecision cookies | recipe

part two | strawberry shortcake | recipe

part three | banana bread | recipe

part 3.5 | Panera Bread

part four | the perfect post-beach meal | recipe

part five | buffalo chicken dip | recipe

part six | pancakes | recipe

part 6.5 | drip coffee, sweet and light

part seven | pasta e piscelli | recipe

part eight | peanut butter bites | recipe

part 8.5 | McDonald’s apple pie

part 8.5.1 | snacks and SPF

part 8.5.2 | rambling and rings

part nine | roasted potatoes - coming soon

part ten | lemon coconut cake

part eleven | patriotic punch

part twelve | coffee cake muffins

one-shots

the ninth of January (smut, 18+)

Romeo, oh Romeo

surprise?

you'll be in my heart

your lap is my safe place - part i

your lap is my safe place - part ii (smut, 18+)

we’re having a baby, my baby and me

It’s Admiral Bradshaw

this has really been a good one

the life that could have been

White Christmas

If you’d like to be tagged in future parts please send an ask!

total word count: 65.7k | last updated: January 8, 2024

fic tag | main masterlist | credit for dividers here

[where-are-the-spooky-gays-2]

ANSWERS!!!

1. How do/did the Spooky Beloveds meet?

Virgil is a space cop (acab except for him). Remus is Remus (he killed a man).

2. Has Vee ever been on a space mission before or is he a newbie?

He’s been on quite a few, cause it’s his job to escort criminals to and from the prison (mostly to, because prison systems don’t function very well as a means of rehabilitation, and probation is harder on the moon). Space travel is kinda hard to get used to, though.

3. Very curious about Mars' character so what truly makes him an asshole is he a villain?

This is explained in the first 300 or so words of the fic, so minor spoiler warning ‼️ His whole deal is complicated, but mostly he’s just a shitty rich guy. Mars Creativity is basically Elon Musk, but better and smarter and worse. Also, all the OC names in this fic have some meaning. Remus’s momma’s name is Rhea (probably Rhea Duke but that’s subject to change), and Roman’s mother’s name is Silvia Creativity. Do with that information what you will.

4. Are any of the other Sides in this fic if so are they also Astronauts or do they have different titles as well?

So far only Roman and Patton have been mentioned, but I am planning to include all of them. Patton is a shuttle pilot. Roman is complicated (explained in the first few hundred words as well). I think Janus is, briefly, Remus’s cellmate? As for Logan, I haven’t figured out a role for him yet, but I feel like he works with Virgil in some capacity. I’m not sure how active of a role the others will play.

5. Is there an actual prison on the Moon?

Yes! It’s officially named the Lunar Criminal Detainment Facility, but, c’mon. It’s the moon prison, and that’s what everyone calls it. (Also, we’re pretending space travel has been made easier by futuristic tech, cause why would I ever do research for my writing) (the trip to the moon still takes 3 days though, to give the guys time to bond)

Thank you so much for the questions! Really helped get my brain juices sloshing :D

-🐢

Ahhhh this all makes me even more fucking excited for this I L O V E L O V E L O V E E V E R Y T H I N G about this concept so far!!!

[welcometololaland]

WAIT NO

R-A-T-Y

RATY 🧀🐀

hi, rat! thanks for the ask. i hope you're enjoying your cheese.

R - which friendship or platonic relationship is your favourite in a fandom?

I think my ultimate favourite to write (and read, actually) is Nora, Alex and June interacting. I just LOVE playing with the friendly teasing and the chaos of Alex and Nora, with the calm, rational and caring influence of June. In one of my first RWRB fics I wrote a lot of Alex and June hanging out, and I adore their sibling relationship. There's so much love and understanding and mutual respect.

A - Ships that you currently like a lot

Firstprince (Alex/Henry - RWRB), Tarlos (TK/Carlos - 911 Lone Star), Jainan/Kiem (Winter's Orbit), LoVe (Logan/Veronica - Veronica Mars), Junora (June/Nora - RWRB), Hangster (Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw/Jake "Hangman" Seresin - Top Gun Maverick).

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?

Carlos is a cat person. I can't explain it, he just is (TK, of course, is an every animal person).

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms

Answered this one previously by saying Schitt's Creek, but I'll go out on another limb and say Heartstopper because I love it, I think it's super cute, but I just don't have the hardcore obsession to write for it, you know? Need those hyperfixation vibes.

(send me an alphabet ask)

[laracrofted]

shameless back again to ask about a playlist for Mar[r]y Me Bradley ❤️

oh, mar[r]y me bradley, yearning king 👑

would that i by hozier

feels like by gracie abrams

right side of my neck by faye webster

uuu by field medic

if you love her by forest blakk

real love baby by father john misty

send me a word or phrase and a character, i’ll make a mini playlist for you or your fic 🫶🏻

[rapha-reads]

J'ai publié 3 912 fois en 2022

304 billets créés (8%)

3 608 billets reblogués (92%)

Les blogs que j'ai le plus reblogués :

@nooowestayandgetcaught

@garnetrena

@tasha-lemon

@queerofthedagger

@whetstonefires

J'ai étiqueté 3 907 billets en 2022

#eurovision - 331 billets

#esc - 305 billets

#eurovision 2022 - 298 billets

#batfam - 258 billets

#esc 2022 - 191 billets

#merlin - 167 billets

#merthur - 166 billets

#rapha talks - 149 billets

#doctor who - 141 billets

#star wars - 134 billets

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#and the beauty in these endings is that they’re not. your dad doesn’t put you on his shoulders anymore but he puts everything aside to pick

Mes billets vedette en 2022 :

n°5

That jeweler seeing Kate and Anthony in the same room : YEAAAAH, I don't think I need to see more, the ring obviously is going to go on her finger, not the other girl. Duh. Is everyone else seeing that? No? Just me? Ok then. I'll just. Ship them on the side. Proceed with your drama.

77 notes - publié le 29 mars 2022

n°4

Just watched Everything Everywhere All At Once, and hey, I was not expecting to start crying and experience all the feelings at the same time.

This film is hilariously silly, absurdly emotional and intensely smart.

THIS is how you do multiverse jumping, family feels, comedy, drama and action. This film has everything and it does it perfectly well.

I'm gonna need a minute to recover.

87 notes - publié le 16 août 2022

n°3

Made the mistake of going into my tags and selecting only the "Love" and "Pining" tags to see what'd come up, and now I'm feeling very yearning and Merthur-y because of bloody course most of my love and pining works are Merthur.

Gah. I'll be 90 and grey and semi-senile and I'll still be ranting about these two.

114 notes - publié le 15 août 2022

n°2

Me two years ago:

Ryan and Shane now in 2022: doing shows DIRECTLY on Tumblr.

Oooooh, this is going to be exciting!

118 notes - publié le 19 octobre 2022

Mon billet n°1 en 2022

do you have any merthur fic recommendations that have happy endings?

Do I ever ! Strap on, I've got quite the list.

Tagged Angst With A Happy Ending :

Take A Letter, Merlin by Caledonia/@iamcaledonia (7870 words, Modern Era)

Arthur is an emotionally repressed workaholic who is unhappily married. Merlin is his loyal and competent personal assistant. One Monday, Merlin comes to work to find that, over the weekend, Arthur has dictated a letter for Merlin that is about to change both of their lives. A song fic inspired by the 1969 classic, 'Take A Letter, Maria' by R. B. Greaves.

Kiss Today Goodbye, by Cithara/@citharaposts (5337 words, Canon Era, Divergence from s02e13)

When Arthur regains consciousness in time to hear Merlin confront the dragon, his world is turned on its head by the revelations that follow.

Turning the Page, by @schweetheart and @queerofthedagger (19050 words, Canon Divergence, Epistolary)

Without intending to, Arthur pushes Merlin just one step too far. Now he's left without his manservant but a hundred questions, a world of hurt, and guilt that clings to him like a shadow. Well, and a notebook filled with drawings because apparently, Merlin can draw on top of being a sorcerer. No matter how often Arthur tells himself that he just wants to forget, he can't help but come back to the collection of sketches and notes, a chronicle of all that Merlin has done.

Maybe their story isn't quite over yet.

The Knights of the Table, by DrJackAndMissJo/@drjackandmissjo (9198 words, Modern Era, Food Critic and Chef AU)

'Can you even believe this guy?" Gwaine asked, offended and almost breathless as he popped himself on Percival’s counter. There was no need for any of the other men to ask who he was talking about. Everyone knew about the devilish creature that wrote the restaurant and food reviews on Camelot Weekly. “What makes you even think it’s a guy?” asked Lance as he took the newspaper from the Irish man, “I’m pretty sure that it is a demon sent straight from hell to torture all of us!”

Tagged Happy Ending :

Hope On A Tuesday Afternoon, by arsenicandsunshine (8985 words, Modern Era, Housemates, Idiots in Love, Getting Together)

Arthur likes his life. Why wouldn't he? Nice flat, all to himself, stable job. Friends. Yep, he's set all right. Or, he is until he ends up with an unexpected flatmate. Merlin certainly does have a knack for turning Arthur's life upside down.

a long, long day, by @oncefutureemrys (1237 words, Canon Era, Secret Relationship, baths and massages)

Merlin was beyond tired of it all. He just wanted one moment where… it could be just him. Just him and Arthur, just the two of them, without the rest of the world interfering. But alas, Merlin was no normal person and neither was Arthur, and the chances of them having a regular day were almost as likely as Uther deciding to stop hating magic. So, he walked into Arthur’s room, ready for more late night chores, a slight slump in his posture. To anyone else, it would seem as if he was perfectly fine, usual Merlin just slightly tired from a long day’s work.  But Merlin knew it was a bit more than that. And so did Arthur, apparently, because when he stumbled in, he found the idiot sitting casually behind his desk, an air of amusement and playfulness surrounding him, a teasing grin forming on his stupid, stupid (handsome) face. Or: Merlin's had a long day, so Arthur takes care of him.

Suffering in Silence, by TheCourtSorcerer/@tcs-main (3205 words, Canon Divergence, Sir Leon-The-Long-Suffering, POV Leon)

He couldn’t take it anymore. He had to say something. He couldn’t keep silent anymore. Day in, day out… The constant borderline scandalous looks, the barely concealed innuendos, the incredibly unsubtle touches, all of it! He was going to lose his mind. How could two people be so blind?! So, that’s what led him to the tavern that night, across from Gwaine, a hint of regret tugging at his mind that he steadfastly ignored. “Okay… How do we get them together?”

Secrets & Lies, by LiGi/@little-ligi (13333 words, Canon Era, Divergence, Arthur Finds Out, Protective Arthur, Friends to Lovers)

Arthur had finally put his finger on it. The thing that had made Merlin stand out, the thing that had intrigued him about the boy ever since the first time he’d met him. The thing that was going to get him killed… Merlin had magic. Not only had it, but used it freely all the bloody time. It was only a matter of time before someone saw him do it, and then they’d report him to the king and Merlin would be dragged out into the courtyard and executed. Well, not if Arthur had anything to do about it.   Mid series one, Arthur, for once not being totally oblivious, discovers that Merlin has magic. The problem is, having magic gets people killed and Arthur very much prefers Merlin alive. It turns out making sure nobody sees Merlin do magic is rather a full-time job however...

A Universe Which Freely Gives, by @psychotic-fangirl369 (26455 words, Post Canon, Reincarnation, Arthur Returns, Getting Together)

Arthur returns… but because of a series of unlikely events (and perhaps a bit of morose dragging of feet because he can't bring himself to believe the signals), Merlin misses the boat. By the time he makes it to the lake, signs of Arthur abound but Arthur is nowhere to be found. Magical tracking being less reliable than one might think, when Merlin finally does manage to find him Arthur is bizarrely well-adjusted, living in a flatshare in London with roommates who think he's batty but mostly harmless, and working an improbable job. Enter: Merlin, who Arthur absolutely is not expecting to still be alive.

So Where Are My Flowers?, by @tehfanglyfish (1365 words, Canon Era, Pining, Flowers, Magic Reveal)

A question asked as a joke leads to years of fresh flowers waiting for Arthur each morning until the one day he almost screws things up.

Balancing the Scale, by sunsetmoonrise (20528 words, 5+1, Canon Era Divergence, Slow Burn, Pining)

Five times Merlin didn't realise Arthur was protecting him, and the one time he did.

Alright, that's quite a lot already! These are the latest in my bookmarks, don't hesitate to ask me again if you want more!

255 notes - publié le 27 août 2022

Obtenez votre année 2022 en revue sur Tumblr →

Well, obviously I'm still talking about Merthur, always and forever. Also, note to self, you have got to stop talking about Eurovision so much. I compared with last year's nimbers, I've been less active this year. Less posts made, less posts reblogged, and still the same tags again and again (merlin, merthur, batfam, eurovision, doctor who, last year was about six of crows, this year is about star wars)...

[a-z0-9-i-n-gram-completionist]

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OMETH OMETI OMISE OMMEN OMPLE ONABL ONDUC ONEBE ONFIR ONICS ONING ONTRA ONYMO OPERA OPHIC OPPED OPTIO OPULA ORATE ORCED ORCIN ORDAN ORDON OREAN OREST OREWO ORKIN ORNAT ORNER ORNIN ORPOR ORSES ORTOB OTATO OTHEC OTHER OTHES OTHIN OTJPE OTTED OULIK OUNTE OURSE OVELY OVIDE OWING OWLEY OYBEE OYOUL PAPER PARAL PARAT PARME PARSL PEARI PEARS PECIA PECIF PEEDY PENED PENGU PEOPL PEPPE PERAT PERSO PHALE PHICA PHONE PICRE PIECE PINCH PLAIN PLANE PLEAS PLETE POISO POLOG POPUL PORAT PORCI PORTO POSTS POTAT POTTE PPEAR PPENE PPENS PPRES PREPA PRESE PRESS PRETT PRICE PRINC PRINK PRINT PROBA PROLI PROMI PROMP PROUD PROVI PTION PUKIC PULAR PULLS PUNIS QUEER QUEST QUICK QUISI RACTE RACUD RADIC RAINS RAINW RALLE RALLY RAMAZ RAMSE RANDM RAPHA RASHE RASHI RATED RATHE RATIO RAZAY RCINI RDERS RDEST READY REALL REAMT REASO REBLO RECIP RECOM REDIE REFER REFUS REGUL REMEM REMOR RENCE REPAR REQUE RESEN RESSO RESSU RETTY RETUR REWOR RIFIC RINAS RINCE RINKL RINTE RINTI RISOT RITCH RITIN RIZZL RKING RMARZ RMESA RNAME RNARO RNATE RNING ROACE ROBAB ROLIF ROMIS ROMPT RONIC ROOMS ROPHI ROVID ROWLE RPORA RRACU RRATI RSHOT RSION RSLEY RTLEN RTOBE RUCTI RUFFL RUTHE RVING RZIPA SACRI SAFFR SAGER SAUCE SAUTE SAV3Y SBONE SCAPI SCHUC SCUIT SDOTJ SECON SEGME SENTA SENTE SEPAR SERNA SERVE SERVI SESSE SETTI SEUSE SEVER SGUIS SHADO SHALL SHAVE SHAVI SHENA SHING SHMEN SHOWI SHROO SIGMA SIMPL SINES SINGL SLOWL SMALL SMOBI SO4TH SOMEO SOMET SONAB SONIN SOTTO SPECI SPEED SPOKE SPOON SPOTT SPRIN SSCHU SSO4T SSONG SSURE STABL STAGE STAND START STDIV STEAD STEAK STEAL STELL STILL STOCK STRAP STROP STRUC STYX1 SUITS SULKY SUMMO SWEAR SWITC TABLE TABLI TABLY TAGGI TAILE TALES TALKI TANDA TANDS TASKE TASTE TASTR TATIO TATOE TBOYB TCHIN TDIVA TEALS TEASP TELLA TENCE TEXTE TFULL THANK THECH THEDE THELI THERE THESE THING THISS THOSE THREA THYME TIFUL TIFYI TIMES TIONA TIONE TIONS TIPLE TIRET TJPEG TLASS TLEME TLENE TLEPR TMETO TOAST TOBEL TOPPE TOTHE TRADI TRAIN TRIAL TRICK TRONI TROPH TRUCT TRUFF TRUTH TTING TTLEP TUMBL TURAL TURNI TURNS TURTL TWICE TYX14 UARDS UBRIS UCEPA UCHUW UCKED UCKIN UCKTA UCTIO UCTOR UDA67 UEERM UFFLE UGGTS UGSDO UILTY UISIT UKICH ULIKE ULKYS ULTIP ULTUR UMBER UMBLR UMI12 UMMON UNISH UNITS UNKIN UNLOC UNNAM UNNIE UNPAR UNREA UNTER URALL URAZA URDER URING URNIN URTLE USERN USHRO USINE USION UTHER UTIFU UTION UTISM UTLAS UTTER UUYAS UYASB V3YEE VANKA VANTR VEGET VEMEN VERAL VERSI VINGS VINYL VIRGI VISED WASTE WATCH WEIRD WHICH WITCH WITHI WORKI WOULD WRECK WRITE WRITI XECUT XISTS XPLAI XPRES XQUIS YASBO YAUTI YBEEB YEARS YLBIO YMOUS YOULI YSTEL YSTIC YTHIN YX142 ZIPAN ZIRAP ZOV07    1110/60466176

6:    4THEDE AAAAAA ABLISH ABLYAU ACCIDE ACESIG ACHIEV ACKING ACKSTA ACRIFI ACUDA6 ADDING ADICTI ADVISE AFFRON AGGING AGICAL AILURE AINWRE ALKING ALLELE ALLOTS ALREAD AMAZOV AMIODD ANDARD ANIMAT ANKARA ANONYM ANOTHE ANTRUT ANYONE ANYTHI APHALE APOLOG APPEAR APPENE APPENS ARACTE ARALLE ARAMAZ ARMESA ARNARO ARNING AROACE ARRACU ARSHOT ARSLEY ARZIPA ASBONE ASHING ASONAB ASPOON ASTDIV ASTROP ATASTR ATBOYB ATCHIN ATIONA ATMETO ATRONI ATURAL AUCEPA AUTIFU AUTISM AV3YEE AVINGS AZIRAP AZOV07 BABLYA BACKST BANANA BARRAC BEATME BEAUTI BECAUS BEEBOP BEFORE BERING BESPOK BIOHAZ BISCUI BLINKS BLISHM BLRINA BLYAUT BOYBEE BSESSE BUGSDO BUSINE BUTTER CANNOT CAPING CARNAR CATAST CATBOY CCIDEN CECONF CESIGM CHANGE CHARAC CHEESE CHIEVE CHOOSE CHOPPE CHUCHU CHUUYA CIDENT CKSTAG CKTALE COBBLE COLOUR COMMEN COMPLE CONDUC CONFIR CONTRA CORNER CORPOR COUNTE COURSE CRASHE CRASHI CRIFIC CROWLE CTABLY CTIONS CUDA67 CULTUR CUTION CUTLAS DDLYAR DEAVOU DELECT DELIGH DELORE DEMAND DENTAL DENTIF DEPPRE DESIRE DETAIL DIATEL DICTIO DIENTS DISGUI DISHES DIVANT DLYART DOCTOR DOTJPE DOYOUL DREAMT DRITCH DRIZZL DSMOBI DUCKTA DUCTOR DURING DVISED EARING EARNIN EARSHO EASONA EASPOO EATING EATMET EATURE EAUTIF EAVOUR EBEATM EBUGSD ECAUSE ECHAOS ECIFIC ECOMME ECONFI ECTABL ECTIVE ECTRIC ECUTIO EDEPPR EDIATE EDIENT EERMAR EFEREN EFFECT EGETAB EGMENT EGULAR EIRDES EIRDLY ELDRIT ELECTA ELECTR ELIGHT ELITTL ELOREA EMANDS EMBERI EMEMBE EMORSE ENANID ENDEAV ENGUMI ENJOYE ENOUGH ENTATI ENTENC ENTIFY ENTIRE ENTLEM EONEBE EPARAT EPPRES EPRINC EQUEST ERENCE ERMARZ ERNAME ERSION ERVING ESCAPI ESENTA ESENTE ESEUSE ESIGMA ESPOKE ESSO4T ESSURE ESTABL ETABLE ETAILE ETHING ETHISS ETIMES ETOTHE ETTING ETURNI EUSERN EVEMEN EVERAL EXECUT EXISTS EXPLAI EXPRES EXQUIS FAILED FAILUR FEATUR FECTIV FERENC FFECTI FFERED FICING FINALL FINEST FIRMED FOLLOW FORCED FOREST FOREWO FUCKED FUCKIN FUNKIN FUNNIE FUSION GARLIC GENTLE GETABL GETTIN GHERKI GHTFUL GICALL GIMMIC GIVING GMENTE GODDAM GORDAN GORDON GRANDM GRATED GREDIE GSDOTJ GUARDS GUILTY GUMI12 HALLOT HAPPEN HARACT HAUIKU HAVING HAZARD HECHAO HEDEPP HELITT HENANI HERKIN HESEUS HICALL HIEVEM HIJACK HISSON HOPPED HORSES HOWING HROOMS HTFULL HUBRIS HUCHUW HUUYAS IATELY ICALLY ICTION IDENTA IDENTI IDIOTS IEVEME IFICIN IFYING IGHTFU IJACKI IKETHI ILGRAV ILLING ILLION IMATRO IMMEDI IMMICK IMPLER INALLY INCECO INCORP INFUSI INGRED INKSAG INSTEA INSTRU INTING INWREC INYLBI IODDLY IOHAZA IRAPHA IRDEST IRRATI ISCUIT ISGUIS ISHMEN ISONIN ISOTTO ISSCHU ISSONG ITTLEP IVANKA IVANTR JACKIN KARAMA KETHIS KILGRA KILLIN KINGRN KINNIE KISSES KSAGER KSTAGE KTALES KYSTEL LASTDI LBIOHA LDRITC LDSMOB LEARNI LEAVES LECTAB LECTRI LENECK LEPRIN LGRAVE LIGHTF LIKETH LINKSA LISHME LITTLE LKYSTE LLELED LLOWIN LOCKED LOGIES LOREAN LOVELY LOWING LREADY LRINAS LTIPLE LYAUTI MAGICA MANIAC MARZIP MATRON MAZOV0 MBERIN MBLRIN MEDIAT MEMBER MENDED MENTED MEONEB MESSED METHIN METHOD METIME METOTH MILLIO MIODDL MISSCH MMEDIA MMENDE MMONED MMONIN MOBILE MOMENT MONING MORNIN MPLETE MULTIP MURDER MUSHRO MYSTIC NAROLI NATURA NATURE NCECON NCORPO NDEAVO NDUCTO NEBEAT NFIRME NFUSIO NGREDI NGUMI1 NIMATR NJOYED NKARAM NKINGR NKSAGE NLOCKE NNAMED NNIEST NONYMO NOTHER NOTHIN NPARAL NREASO NSTEAD NSTRUC NTATIO NTENCE NTIFYI NTIRET NTLEME NTRADI NTRUTH NUGGTS NUMBER NWRECK NYLBIO NYMOUS NYTHIN O4THED OACESI OBABLY OBBLER OBELLO OBSESS ODDAMN ODDLYA OFFERE OHAZAR OISONI OLDSMO OLIFIC OLLOWI OLOGIE OMEONE OMETHI OMETIM OMMEND OMMENT OMPLET OMPLEX ONABLY ONDUCT ONEBEA ONFIRM ONTRAD ONYMOU OPERAT OPHICA OPTION OPULAR ORATED ORCINI OREWOR ORKING ORNATE ORNING ORPORA ORTOBE OTATOE OTHECH OTHESE OTHING OTJPEG OULIKE OUNTER OYBEEB OYOULI PARALL PARATE PARMES PARSLE PEARIN PECIAL PECIFI PENGUM PEOPLE PEPPER PERATE PERSON PHICAL PICREW PLANET PLEASE POISON POLOGI POPULA PORATE PORCIN PORTOB POTATO POTTED PPEARI PPEARS PPENED PPRESS PREPAR PRESEN PRESSO PRESSU PRETTY PRINCE PRINKL PRINTE PRINTI PROBAB PROLIF PROMIS PROMPT PROVID PUKICH PUNISH QUEERM QUISIT RACTER RACUDA RADICT RAINWR RALLEL RAMAZO RAMSEY RANDMA RAPHAL RASHES RASHIN RATHER RATION RAZAYT REALLY REASON REBLOG

RECIPE RECOMM REDIEN REFERE REFUSE REGULA REMEMB REMORS REPARE REQUES RESENT RESSO4 RESSUE RESSUR RETURN REWORD RIFICI RINCEC RINKLE RINTED RINTIN RISOTT RITING RIZZLE RMARZI RMESAN RNAMES RNAROL ROACES ROBABL ROLIFI ROMISE RONICS ROPHIC ROVIDE ROWLEY RPORAT RRACUD RRATIO RTLENE RTOBEL RUCTIO RUFFLE RUTHER RZIPAN SACRIF SAFFRO SAUCEP SAV3YE SBONER SCAPIN SCHUCH SCUITS SDOTJP SECOND SEGMEN SENTAT SENTED SENTEN SEPARA SERNAM SERVES SERVIN SESSED SETTIN SEUSER SEVERA SGUISE SHADOW SHALLO SHAVIN SHENAN SHMENT SHOWIN SHROOM SIMPLE SIMPLY SINESS SINGLE SLOWLY SMOBIL SO4THE SOMEON SOMETH SOMETI SONABL SONING SPECIA SPECIF SPEEDY SPOTTE SPRINK SSCHUC SSO4TH STABLI STANDA STANDS STDIVA STEALS STELLA STROPH STRUCT STYX14 SULKYS SUMMON SWITCH TABLIS TAGGIN TAILED TALKIN TANDAR TASKED TASTRO TATION TATOES TBOYBE TCHING TDIVAN TEASPO TENCED TEXTED TFULLY THANKS THECHA THEDEP THELIT THESEU THISSO THREAD TIFYIN TIONAL TIONER TIRETY TLEMEN TLENEC TLEPRI TMETOT TOBELL TOPPED TOTHEC TOTHES TRADIC TRAINS TRAINW TRONIC TROPHI TRUCTI TRUFFL TRUTHE TTLEPR TUMBLR TURALL TURNIN TURTLE TYX142 UCEPAN UCKING UCKTAL UCTION UDA677 UEERMA UGSDOT UISITE UKICHO ULIKET ULKYST ULTIPL ULTURE UMBLRI UMMONE UMMONI UNKING UNLOCK UNNAME UNNIES UNPARA UNREAS URALLY URAZAY URDERS URNING URTLEN USERNA USHROO USINES UTIFUL UTIONE UTLASS UUYASB UYASBO VANKAR VANTRU VEGETA VEMENT VERSIO VINYLB VIRGIN WASTES WATCHI WEIRDE WEIRDL WITHIN WORKIN WRITIN XECUTI XPLAIN XPRESS XQUISI YASBON YAUTIS YBEEBO YLBIOH YOULIK YSTELL YTHING ZIRAPH    797/2176782336

7:    4THEDEP AAAAAAA ABLISHM ABLYAUT ACCIDEN ACESIGM ACHIEVE ACKSTAG ACRIFIC ACUDA67 ADICTIO ADVISED AGICALL AINWREC ALLELED ALREADY AMAZOV0 AMIODDL ANIMATR ANKARAM ANONYMO ANOTHER ANTRUTH ANYTHIN APOLOGI APPEARI APPEARS APPENED ARACTER ARALLEL ARAMAZO ARMESAN ARNAROL AROACES ARRACUD ARZIPAN ASBONER ASONABL ASTDIVA ASTROPH ATASTRO ATBOYBE ATCHING ATIONAL ATMETOT ATRONIC ATURALL AUCEPAN AUTIFUL AZIRAPH BABLYAU BACKSTA BARRACU BEATMET BEAUTIF BECAUSE BESPOKE BIOHAZA BISCUIT BLINKSA BLISHME BLRINAS BLYAUTI BOYBEEB BSESSED BUGSDOT BUSINES CARNARO CATASTR CATBOYB CCIDENT CECONFI CESIGMA CHARACT CHIEVEM CHOPPED CHUCHUW CHUUYAS CIDENTA CKSTAGE CKTALES COBBLER COMMEND COMMENT COMPLET COMPLEX CONDUCT CONFIRM CONTRAD CORPORA COUNTER CRASHES CRASHIN CRIFICI CROWLEY CUDA677 CULTURE CUTIONE CUTLASS DDLYART DEAVOUR DELECTA DELIGHT DELOREA DEMANDS DENTIFY DEPPRES DETAILE DIATELY DICTION DISGUIS DIVANTR DOTJPEG DOYOULI DRIZZLE DSMOBIL DUCKTAL EARNING EARSHOT EASONAB EASPOON EATMETO EAUTIFU EBEATME EBUGSDO ECOMMEN ECONFIR ECTABLY ECUTION EDEPPRE EDIATEL EDIENTS EERMARZ EFERENC EFFECTI EGETABL EGMENTE EIRDEST ELDRITC ELECTAB ELECTRI ELIGHTF ELITTLE ELOREAN EMBERIN EMEMBER ENDEAVO ENGUMI1 ENJOYED ENTATIO ENTENCE ENTIFYI ENTIRET ENTLEME EONEBEA EPARATE EPPRESS EPRINCE ERMARZI ERNAMES ESCAPIN ESENTAT ESENTED ESEUSER ESSO4TH ESTABLI ETAILED ETHISSO ETOTHES ETURNIN EUSERNA EVEMENT EXECUTI EXPLAIN EXPRESS EXQUISI FAILURE FEATURE FECTIVE FERENCE FFECTIV FINALLY FOLLOWI FOREWOR FUCKING FUNKING FUNNIES GENTLEM GETABLE GETTING GHERKIN GHTFULL GICALLY GIMMICK GMENTED GODDAMN GRANDMA GREDIEN GSDOTJP HALLOTS HAPPENE HAPPENS HARACTE HAVINGS HECHAOS HEDEPPR HELITTL HENANID HESEUSE HICALLY HIEVEME HIJACKI HISSONG HTFULLY HUUYASB ICTIONS IDENTAL IDENTIF IEVEMEN IFICING IGHTFUL IJACKIN IKETHIS ILGRAVE IMATRON IMMEDIA INCECON INCORPO INFUSIO INGREDI INKSAGE INSTEAD INSTRUC INWRECK INYLBIO IODDLYA IOHAZAR IRAPHAL IRRATIO ISCUITS ISGUISE ISHMENT ISONING ISSCHUC ITTLEPR IVANKAR IVANTRU JACKING KARAMAZ KETHISS KILGRAV KILLING KYSTELL LASTDIV LBIOHAZ LDRITCH LDSMOBI LEARNIN LECTABL LECTRIC LEPRINC LIGHTFU LIKETHI LINKSAG LISHMEN LITTLEP LKYSTEL LLOWING LYAUTIS MAGICAL MARZIPA MATRONI MAZOV07 MBERING MBLRINA MEDIATE MEMBERI MEONEBE METHING METIMES METOTHE MILLION MIODDLY MISSCHU MMEDIAT MMENDED MMONING MORNING MULTIPL MURDERS MUSHROO NATURAL NCECONF NCORPOR NDEAVOU NDUCTOR NEBEATM NFIRMED NFUSION NGREDIE NGUMI12 NIMATRO NKARAMA NKINGRN NKSAGER NLOCKED NONYMOU NOTHING NPARALL NREASON NSTRUCT NTATION NTENCED NTIFYIN NTIRETY NTLEMEN NTRADIC NTRUTHE NYLBIOH NYTHING O4THEDE OACESIG OBABLYA OBSESSE ODDLYAR OFFERED OHAZARD OISONIN OLDSMOB OLLOWIN OLOGIES OMEONEB OMETHIN OMETIME OMMENDE OMPLETE ONDUCTO ONEBEAT ONFIRME ONTRADI ONYMOUS OPERATE OPHICAL OREWORD ORPORAT ORTOBEL OTATOES OTHECHA OTHESEU OULIKET OYBEEBO OYOULIK PARALLE PARMESA PARSLEY PEARING PECIFIC PENGUMI PHICALL POISONI POLOGIE POPULAR PORATED PORCINI PORTOBE POTATOE PPEARIN PPRESSO PREPARE PRESENT PRESSO4 PRESSUE PRESSUR PRINCEC PRINKLE PRINTED PRINTIN PROBABL PROLIFI PROMISE PROVIDE PUKICHO QUEERMA QUISITE RACUDA6 RADICTI RAINWRE RALLELE RAMAZOV RAPHALE RASHING RATIONA REASONA RECOMME REDIENT REFEREN REGULAR REMEMBE REMORSE REQUEST RESENTA RESENTE RESSO4T RESSURE RETURNI RIFICIN RINCECO RINTING RISOTTO RMARZIP RNAROLI ROACESI ROBABLY ROLIFIC ROPHICA RPORATE RRACUDA RRATION RTLENEC RTOBELL RUCTION SACRIFI SAFFRON SAUCEPA SAV3YEE SCAPING SCHUCHU SDOTJPE SEGMENT SENTATI SENTENC SEPARAT SERNAME SERVING SETTING SEUSERN SEVERAL SHALLOT SHAVING SHENANI SHOWING SHROOMS SIMPLER SMOBILE SO4THED SOMEONE SOMETHI SOMETIM SONABLY SPECIAL SPECIFI SPOTTED SPRINKL SSCHUCH SSO4THE STABLIS STANDAR STDIVAN STROPHI STRUCTI STYX142 SULKYST SUMMONE SUMMONI TABLISH TAGGING TALKING TANDARD TASTROP TBOYBEE TDIVANT TEASPOO THECHAO THEDEPP THELITT THESEUS THISSON TIFYING TLENECK TLEPRIN TMETOTH TOBELLO TOTHECH TOTHESE TRADICT TRAINWR TRONICS TROPHIC TRUCTIO TRUFFLE TRUTHER TTLEPRI TUMBLRI TURALLY TURNING TURTLEN UCKTALE UCTIONS UEERMAR UGSDOTJ ULIKETH ULKYSTE ULTIPLE UMBLRIN UMMONED UMMONIN UNKINGR UNLOCKE

UNNAMED UNNIEST UNPARAL UNREASO URAZAYT URTLENE USERNAM USHROOM USINESS UTIONER UUYASBO UYASBON VANKARA VANTRUT VEGETAB VERSION VINYLBI WATCHIN WEIRDES WEIRDLY WORKING WRITING XECUTIO XPRESSO XQUISIT YASBONE YAUTISM YBEEBOP YLBIOHA YOULIKE YSTELLA ZIRAPHA    540/78364164096

8:    4THEDEPP AAAAAAAA ABLISHME ABLYAUTI ACCIDENT ACESIGMA ACHIEVEM ACKSTAGE ACRIFICI ACUDA677 ADICTION AGICALLY AINWRECK AMAZOV07 AMIODDLY ANIMATRO ANKARAMA ANONYMOU ANTRUTHE ANYTHING APOLOGIE APPEARIN ARALLELE ARAMAZOV ARNAROLI AROACESI ARRACUDA ASONABLY ASTDIVAN ASTROPHI ATASTROP ATBOYBEE ATMETOTH ATRONICS ATURALLY AZIRAPHA BABLYAUT BACKSTAG BARRACUD BEATMETO BEAUTIFU BIOHAZAR BISCUITS BLINKSAG BLISHMEN BLYAUTIS BOYBEEBO BUGSDOTJ BUSINESS CARNAROL CATASTRO CATBOYBE CCIDENTA CECONFIR CHARACTE CHIEVEME CHUUYASB CIDENTAL COMMENDE COMPLETE CONDUCTO CONFIRME CONTRADI CORPORAT CRASHING CRIFICIN CUTIONER DELECTAB DELIGHTF DELOREAN DENTIFYI DEPPRESS DETAILED DICTIONS DISGUISE DIVANTRU DOYOULIK DSMOBILE DUCKTALE EASONABL EATMETOT EAUTIFUL EBEATMET EBUGSDOT ECOMMEND ECONFIRM ECUTIONE EDEPPRES EDIATELY EERMARZI EFERENCE EFFECTIV EGETABLE EGMENTED ELDRITCH ELECTABL ELECTRIC ELIGHTFU ELITTLEP EMBERING EMEMBERI ENDEAVOU ENGUMI12 ENTATION ENTENCED ENTIFYIN ENTIRETY ENTLEMEN EONEBEAT EPPRESSO EPRINCEC ERMARZIP ESCAPING ESENTATI ESEUSERN ESSO4THE ESTABLIS ETHISSON ETOTHESE ETURNING EUSERNAM EXECUTIO EXPRESSO EXQUISIT FFECTIVE FOLLOWIN FOREWORD FUNKINGR FUNNIEST GENTLEME GHTFULLY GREDIENT GSDOTJPE HAPPENED HARACTER HEDEPPRE HELITTLE HESEUSER HIEVEMEN HIJACKIN HUUYASBO IDENTIFY IEVEMENT IGHTFULL IJACKING IKETHISS IMATRONI IMMEDIAT INCECONF INCORPOR INFUSION INGREDIE INKSAGER INSTRUCT INYLBIOH IODDLYAR IOHAZARD IRAPHALE IRRATION ISSCHUCH ITTLEPRI IVANKARA IVANTRUT KARAMAZO KETHISSO KILGRAVE KYSTELLA LASTDIVA LBIOHAZA LDSMOBIL LEARNING LECTABLY LEPRINCE LIGHTFUL LIKETHIS LINKSAGE LISHMENT LITTLEPR LKYSTELL LYAUTISM MAGICALL MARZIPAN MATRONIC MBLRINAS MEDIATEL MEMBERIN MEONEBEA METOTHES MIODDLYA MISSCHUC MMEDIATE MULTIPLE MUSHROOM NATURALL NCECONFI NCORPORA NDEAVOUR NEBEATME NGREDIEN NIMATRON NKARAMAZ NONYMOUS NPARALLE NREASONA NSTRUCTI NTIFYING NTRADICT NTRUTHER NYLBIOHA O4THEDEP OACESIGM OBABLYAU OBSESSED ODDLYART OISONING OLDSMOBI OLLOWING OMEONEBE OMETHING OMETIMES OMMENDED ONDUCTOR ONEBEATM ONFIRMED ONTRADIC OPHICALL ORPORATE ORTOBELL OTHECHAO OTHESEUS OULIKETH OYBEEBOP OYOULIKE PARALLEL PARMESAN PENGUMI1 PHICALLY POISONIN POLOGIES PORTOBEL POTATOES PPEARING PRESENTA PRESENTE PRESSO4T PRESSURE PRINCECO PRINTING PROBABLY PROLIFIC QUEERMAR RACUDA67 RADICTIO RAINWREC RALLELED RAMAZOV0 RATIONAL REASONAB RECOMMEN REDIENTS REFERENC REMEMBER RESENTAT RESENTED RESSO4TH RETURNIN RIFICING RINCECON RMARZIPA ROACESIG ROBABLYA ROPHICAL RPORATED RRACUDA6 RRATIONA RTLENECK RTOBELLO RUCTIONS SACRIFIC SAUCEPAN SCHUCHUW SDOTJPEG SEGMENTE SENTATIO SENTENCE SEPARATE SERNAMES SEUSERNA SHALLOTS SHAVINGS SHENANID SO4THEDE SOMEONEB SOMETHIN SOMETIME SPECIFIC SPRINKLE SSCHUCHU SSO4THED STABLISH STANDARD STDIVANT STROPHIC STRUCTIO SULKYSTE SUMMONED SUMMONIN TABLISHM TASTROPH TBOYBEEB TDIVANTR TEASPOON THECHAOS THEDEPPR THELITTL THESEUSE THISSONG TLEPRINC TMETOTHE TOTHECHA TOTHESEU TRADICTI TRAINWRE TROPHICA TRUCTION TTLEPRIN TUMBLRIN TURTLENE UCKTALES UEERMARZ UGSDOTJP ULIKETHI ULKYSTEL UMBLRINA UMMONING UNKINGRN UNLOCKED UNPARALL UNREASON URTLENEC USERNAME USHROOMS UUYASBON UYASBONE VANKARAM VANTRUTH VEGETABL VINYLBIO WATCHING WEIRDEST XECUTION XPRESSO4 XQUISITE YASBONER YLBIOHAZ YOULIKET ZIRAPHAL    357/2821109907456

9:    4THEDEPPR AAAAAAAAA ABLISHMEN ABLYAUTIS ACCIDENTA ACHIEVEME ACRIFICIN ADICTIONS AMIODDLYA ANIMATRON ANKARAMAZ ANONYMOUS ANTRUTHER APOLOGIES APPEARING ARALLELED ARAMAZOV0 AROACESIG ARRACUDA6 ASTDIVANT ASTROPHIC ATASTROPH ATBOYBEEB ATMETOTHE AZIRAPHAL BABLYAUTI BACKSTAGE BARRACUDA BEATMETOT BEAUTIFUL BIOHAZARD BLINKSAGE BLISHMENT BLYAUTISM BOYBEEBOP BUGSDOTJP CARNAROLI CATASTROP CATBOYBEE CCIDENTAL CECONFIRM CHARACTER CHIEVEMEN CHUUYASBO COMMENDED CONDUCTOR CONFIRMED CONTRADIC CORPORATE CRIFICING DELECTABL DELIGHTFU DENTIFYIN DEPPRESSO DIVANTRUT DOYOULIKE DUCKTALES EASONABLY EATMETOTH EBEATMETO EBUGSDOTJ ECOMMENDE ECONFIRME ECUTIONER EDEPPRESS EERMARZIP EFFECTIVE ELECTABLY ELIGHTFUL ELITTLEPR EMEMBERIN ENDEAVOUR ENTIFYING EONEBEATM EPRINCECO ERMARZIPA ESENTATIO ESEUSERNA ESSO4THED ESTABLISH ETHISSONG ETOTHESEU EUSERNAME EXECUTION EXPRESSO4 EXQUISITE FOLLOWING FUNKINGRN GENTLEMEN GREDIENTS GSDOTJPEG HEDEPPRES HELITTLEP HESEUSERN HIEVEMENT HIJACKING HUUYASBON IDENTIFYI IGHTFULLY IKETHISSO IMATRONIC IMMEDIATE INCECONFI INCORPORA INGREDIEN INSTRUCTI INYLBIOHA IODDLYART IRRATIONA ISSCHUCHU ITTLEPRIN IVANKARAM IVANTRUTH KARAMAZOV KETHISSON LASTDIVAN LBIOHAZAR LDSMOBILE LEPRINCEC LIGHTFULL LIKETHISS LINKSAGER LITTLEPRI LKYSTELLA MAGICALLY MATRONICS MEDIATELY MEMBERING MEONEBEAT METOTHESE MIODDLYAR MISSCHUCH MMEDIATEL MUSHROOMS NATURALLY NCECONFIR NCORPORAT NEBEATMET NGREDIENT NIMATRONI NKARAMAZO NPARALLEL NREASONAB NSTRUCTIO NTRADICTI NYLBIOHAZ O4THEDEPP OACESIGMA OBABLYAUT OLDSMOBIL OMEONEBEA ONEBEATME ONTRADICT OPHICALLY ORPORATED ORTOBELLO OTHECHAOS OTHESEUSE OULIKETHI OYOULIKET PARALLELE PENGUMI12 POISONING PORTOBELL PRESENTAT PRESENTED PRESSO4TH PRINCECON PROBABLYA QUEERMARZ RACUDA677 RADICTION RAINWRECK RAMAZOV07 REASONABL RECOMMEND REFERENCE REMEMBERI RESENTATI RESSO4THE RETURNING RINCECONF RMARZIPAN ROACESIGM ROBABLYAU ROPHICALL RRACUDA67 RRATIONAL SACRIFICI SEGMENTED SENTATION SENTENCED SEUSERNAM SO4THEDEP SOMEONEBE SOMETHING SOMETIMES SSCHUCHUW SSO4THEDE STABLISHM STDIVANTR STROPHICA STRUCTION SULKYSTEL SUMMONING TABLISHME TASTROPHI TBOYBEEBO TDIVANTRU THEDEPPRE THELITTLE THESEUSER TLEPRINCE TMETOTHES TOTHECHAO TOTHESEUS TRADICTIO TRAINWREC TROPHICAL TRUCTIONS TTLEPRINC TUMBLRINA TURTLENEC UEERMARZI UGSDOTJPE ULIKETHIS ULKYSTELL UMBLRINAS UNPARALLE UNREASONA URTLENECK USERNAMES UUYASBONE UYASBONER VANKARAMA VANTRUTHE VEGETABLE VINYLBIOH XECUTIONE XPRESSO4T YLBIOHAZA YOULIKETH ZIRAPHALE    243/101559956668416

10:    4THEDEPPRE AAAAAAAAAA ABLISHMENT ABLYAUTISM ACCIDENTAL ACHIEVEMEN ACRIFICING AMIODDLYAR ANIMATRONI ANKARAMAZO ARAMAZOV07 AROACESIGM ARRACUDA67 ASTDIVANTR ASTROPHICA ATASTROPHI ATBOYBEEBO ATMETOTHES AZIRAPHALE BABLYAUTIS BARRACUDA6 BEATMETOTH BLINKSAGER BUGSDOTJPE CATASTROPH CATBOYBEEB CECONFIRME CHIEVEMENT CHUUYASBON CONTRADICT CORPORATED DELECTABLY DELIGHTFUL DENTIFYING DIVANTRUTH DOYOULIKET EATMETOTHE EBEATMETOT EBUGSDOTJP ECOMMENDED ECONFIRMED EDEPPRESSO EERMARZIPA ELIGHTFULL ELITTLEPRI EMEMBERING EONEBEATME EPRINCECON ERMARZIPAN ESENTATION ESEUSERNAM ESSO4THEDE ESTABLISHM ETOTHESEUS EUSERNAMES EXECUTIONE EXPRESSO4T HEDEPPRESS HELITTLEPR HESEUSERNA HUUYASBONE IDENTIFYIN IKETHISSON IMATRONICS IMMEDIATEL INCECONFIR INCORPORAT INGREDIENT INSTRUCTIO INYLBIOHAZ IRRATIONAL ISSCHUCHUW ITTLEPRINC IVANKARAMA IVANTRUTHE KARAMAZOV0 KETHISSONG LASTDIVANT LBIOHAZARD LEPRINCECO LIGHTFULLY LIKETHISSO LITTLEPRIN MEONEBEATM METOTHESEU MIODDLYART MISSCHUCHU MMEDIATELY NCECONFIRM NCORPORATE NEBEATMETO NGREDIENTS NIMATRONIC NKARAMAZOV NPARALLELE NREASONABL NSTRUCTION NTRADICTIO NYLBIOHAZA O4THEDEPPR OBABLYAUTI OLDSMOBILE OMEONEBEAT ONEBEATMET ONTRADICTI OTHESEUSER OULIKETHIS OYOULIKETH PARALLELED PORTOBELLO PRESENTATI PRESSO4THE PRINCECONF PROBABLYAU QUEERMARZI RADICTIONS REASONABLY RECOMMENDE REMEMBERIN RESENTATIO RESSO4THED RINCECONFI ROACESIGMA ROBABLYAUT ROPHICALLY RRACUDA677 SACRIFICIN SEUSERNAME SO4THEDEPP SOMEONEBEA SSO4THEDEP STABLISHME STDIVANTRU STROPHICAL STRUCTIONS SULKYSTELL TABLISHMEN TASTROPHIC TBOYBEEBOP TDIVANTRUT THEDEPPRES THELITTLEP THESEUSERN TLEPRINCEC TMETOTHESE TOTHECHAOS TOTHESEUSE TRADICTION TRAINWRECK TROPHICALL TTLEPRINCE TUMBLRINAS TURTLENECK UEERMARZIP UGSDOTJPEG ULIKETHISS ULKYSTELLA UNPARALLEL UNREASONAB UUYASBONER VANKARAMAZ VANTRUTHER VINYLBIOHA XECUTIONER XPRESSO4TH YLBIOHAZAR YOULIKETHI    167/3656158440062976

11:    4THEDEPPRES AAAAAAAAAAA ACHIEVEMENT AMIODDLYART ANIMATRONIC ANKARAMAZOV AROACESIGMA ARRACUDA677 ASTDIVANTRU ASTROPHICAL ATASTROPHIC ATBOYBEEBOP ATMETOTHESE BABLYAUTISM BARRACUDA67 BEATMETOTHE BUGSDOTJPEG CATASTROPHI CATBOYBEEBO CECONFIRMED CHUUYASBONE CONTRADICTI DELIGHTFULL DIVANTRUTHE DOYOULIKETH EATMETOTHES EBEATMETOTH EBUGSDOTJPE EERMARZIPAN ELIGHTFULLY ELITTLEPRIN EONEBEATMET EPRINCECONF ESEUSERNAME ESSO4THEDEP ESTABLISHME ETOTHESEUSE EXECUTIONER EXPRESSO4TH HEDEPPRESSO HELITTLEPRI HESEUSERNAM HUUYASBONER IDENTIFYING IKETHISSONG IMMEDIATELY INCECONFIRM INCORPORATE INGREDIENTS INSTRUCTION INYLBIOHAZA ITTLEPRINCE IVANKARAMAZ IVANTRUTHER KARAMAZOV07 LASTDIVANTR LEPRINCECON LIKETHISSON LITTLEPRINC MEONEBEATME METOTHESEUS MISSCHUCHUW NCECONFIRME NCORPORATED NEBEATMETOT NIMATRONICS NKARAMAZOV0 NPARALLELED NREASONABLY NSTRUCTIONS NTRADICTION NYLBIOHAZAR O4THEDEPPRE OBABLYAUTIS OMEONEBEATM ONEBEATMETO ONTRADICTIO OTHESEUSERN OULIKETHISS OYOULIKETHI PRESENTATIO PRESSO4THED PRINCECONFI PROBABLYAUT QUEERMARZIP RECOMMENDED REMEMBERING RESENTATION RESSO4THEDE RINCECONFIR ROBABLYAUTI SACRIFICING SEUSERNAMES SO4THEDEPPR SOMEONEBEAT SSO4THEDEPP STABLISHMEN STDIVANTRUT STROPHICALL SULKYSTELLA TABLISHMENT TASTROPHICA TDIVANTRUTH THEDEPPRESS THELITTLEPR THESEUSERNA TLEPRINCECO TMETOTHESEU TOTHESEUSER TRADICTIONS TROPHICALLY TTLEPRINCEC UEERMARZIPA ULIKETHISSO UNPARALLELE UNREASONABL VANKARAMAZO VINYLBIOHAZ XPRESSO4THE YLBIOHAZARD YOULIKETHIS    121/131621703842267136

12:    4THEDEPPRESS AAAAAAAAAAAA ANIMATRONICS ANKARAMAZOV0 ASTDIVANTRUT ASTROPHICALL ATASTROPHICA ATMETOTHESEU BARRACUDA677 BEATMETOTHES CATASTROPHIC CATBOYBEEBOP CHUUYASBONER CONTRADICTIO DELIGHTFULLY DIVANTRUTHER DOYOULIKETHI EATMETOTHESE EBEATMETOTHE EBUGSDOTJPEG ELITTLEPRINC EONEBEATMETO EPRINCECONFI ESEUSERNAMES ESSO4THEDEPP ESTABLISHMEN ETOTHESEUSER EXPRESSO4THE HELITTLEPRIN HESEUSERNAME INCECONFIRME INCORPORATED INSTRUCTIONS INYLBIOHAZAR ITTLEPRINCEC IVANKARAMAZO LASTDIVANTRU LEPRINCECONF LIKETHISSONG LITTLEPRINCE MEONEBEATMET METOTHESEUSE NCECONFIRMED NEBEATMETOTH NKARAMAZOV07 NTRADICTIONS NYLBIOHAZARD O4THEDEPPRES OBABLYAUTISM OMEONEBEATME ONEBEATMETOT ONTRADICTION OTHESEUSERNA OULIKETHISSO OYOULIKETHIS PRESENTATION PRESSO4THEDE PRINCECONFIR PROBABLYAUTI QUEERMARZIPA RESSO4THEDEP RINCECONFIRM ROBABLYAUTIS SO4THEDEPPRE SOMEONEBEATM SSO4THEDEPPR STABLISHMENT STDIVANTRUTH STROPHICALLY TASTROPHICAL TDIVANTRUTHE THEDEPPRESSO THELITTLEPRI THESEUSERNAM TLEPRINCECON TMETOTHESEUS TOTHESEUSERN TTLEPRINCECO UEERMARZIPAN ULIKETHISSON UNPARALLELED UNREASONABLY VANKARAMAZOV VINYLBIOHAZA XPRESSO4THED YOULIKETHISS    86/4738381338321616896

13:    4THEDEPPRESSO AAAAAAAAAAAAA ANKARAMAZOV07 ASTDIVANTRUTH ASTROPHICALLY ATASTROPHICAL ATMETOTHESEUS BEATMETOTHESE CATASTROPHICA CONTRADICTION DOYOULIKETHIS EATMETOTHESEU EBEATMETOTHES ELITTLEPRINCE EONEBEATMETOT EPRINCECONFIR ESSO4THEDEPPR ESTABLISHMENT ETOTHESEUSERN EXPRESSO4THED HELITTLEPRINC HESEUSERNAMES INCECONFIRMED INYLBIOHAZARD ITTLEPRINCECO IVANKARAMAZOV LASTDIVANTRUT LEPRINCECONFI LITTLEPRINCEC MEONEBEATMETO METOTHESEUSER NEBEATMETOTHE O4THEDEPPRESS OMEONEBEATMET ONEBEATMETOTH ONTRADICTIONS OTHESEUSERNAM OULIKETHISSON OYOULIKETHISS PRESSO4THEDEP PRINCECONFIRM PROBABLYAUTIS QUEERMARZIPAN RESSO4THEDEPP RINCECONFIRME ROBABLYAUTISM SO4THEDEPPRES SOMEONEBEATME SSO4THEDEPPRE STDIVANTRUTHE TASTROPHICALL TDIVANTRUTHER THELITTLEPRIN THESEUSERNAME TLEPRINCECONF TMETOTHESEUSE TOTHESEUSERNA TTLEPRINCECON ULIKETHISSONG VANKARAMAZOV0 VINYLBIOHAZAR XPRESSO4THEDE YOULIKETHISSO    63/170581728179578208256

14:    AAAAAAAAAAAAAA ASTDIVANTRUTHE ATASTROPHICALL ATMETOTHESEUSE BEATMETOTHESEU CATASTROPHICAL CONTRADICTIONS DOYOULIKETHISS EATMETOTHESEUS EBEATMETOTHESE ELITTLEPRINCEC EONEBEATMETOTH EPRINCECONFIRM ESSO4THEDEPPRE ETOTHESEUSERNA EXPRESSO4THEDE HELITTLEPRINCE ITTLEPRINCECON IVANKARAMAZOV0 LASTDIVANTRUTH LEPRINCECONFIR LITTLEPRINCECO MEONEBEATMETOT METOTHESEUSERN NEBEATMETOTHES O4THEDEPPRESSO OMEONEBEATMETO ONEBEATMETOTHE OTHESEUSERNAME OULIKETHISSONG OYOULIKETHISSO PRESSO4THEDEPP PRINCECONFIRME PROBABLYAUTISM RESSO4THEDEPPR RINCECONFIRMED SO4THEDEPPRESS SOMEONEBEATMET SSO4THEDEPPRES STDIVANTRUTHER TASTROPHICALLY THELITTLEPRINC THESEUSERNAMES TLEPRINCECONFI TMETOTHESEUSER TOTHESEUSERNAM TTLEPRINCECONF VANKARAMAZOV07 VINYLBIOHAZARD XPRESSO4THEDEP YOULIKETHISSON    51/6140942214464815497216

15:    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ASTDIVANTRUTHER ATASTROPHICALLY ATMETOTHESEUSER BEATMETOTHESEUS CATASTROPHICALL DOYOULIKETHISSO EATMETOTHESEUSE EBEATMETOTHESEU ELITTLEPRINCECO EONEBEATMETOTHE EPRINCECONFIRME ESSO4THEDEPPRES ETOTHESEUSERNAM EXPRESSO4THEDEP HELITTLEPRINCEC ITTLEPRINCECONF IVANKARAMAZOV07 LASTDIVANTRUTHE LEPRINCECONFIRM LITTLEPRINCECON MEONEBEATMETOTH METOTHESEUSERNA NEBEATMETOTHESE OMEONEBEATMETOT ONEBEATMETOTHES OTHESEUSERNAMES OYOULIKETHISSON PRESSO4THEDEPPR PRINCECONFIRMED RESSO4THEDEPPRE SO4THEDEPPRESSO SOMEONEBEATMETO SSO4THEDEPPRESS THELITTLEPRINCE TLEPRINCECONFIR TMETOTHESEUSERN TOTHESEUSERNAME TTLEPRINCECONFI XPRESSO4THEDEPP YOULIKETHISSONG    41/221073919720733357899776

16:    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ATMETOTHESEUSERN BEATMETOTHESEUSE CATASTROPHICALLY DOYOULIKETHISSON EATMETOTHESEUSER EBEATMETOTHESEUS ELITTLEPRINCECON EONEBEATMETOTHES EPRINCECONFIRMED ESSO4THEDEPPRESS ETOTHESEUSERNAME EXPRESSO4THEDEPP HELITTLEPRINCECO ITTLEPRINCECONFI LASTDIVANTRUTHER LEPRINCECONFIRME LITTLEPRINCECONF MEONEBEATMETOTHE METOTHESEUSERNAM NEBEATMETOTHESEU OMEONEBEATMETOTH ONEBEATMETOTHESE OYOULIKETHISSONG PRESSO4THEDEPPRE RESSO4THEDEPPRES SOMEONEBEATMETOT SSO4THEDEPPRESSO THELITTLEPRINCEC TLEPRINCECONFIRM TMETOTHESEUSERNA TOTHESEUSERNAMES TTLEPRINCECONFIR XPRESSO4THEDEPPR    34/7958661109946400884391936

17:    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ATMETOTHESEUSERNA BEATMETOTHESEUSER DOYOULIKETHISSONG EATMETOTHESEUSERN EBEATMETOTHESEUSE ELITTLEPRINCECONF EONEBEATMETOTHESE ESSO4THEDEPPRESSO ETOTHESEUSERNAMES EXPRESSO4THEDEPPR HELITTLEPRINCECON ITTLEPRINCECONFIR LEPRINCECONFIRMED LITTLEPRINCECONFI MEONEBEATMETOTHES METOTHESEUSERNAME NEBEATMETOTHESEUS OMEONEBEATMETOTHE ONEBEATMETOTHESEU PRESSO4THEDEPPRES RESSO4THEDEPPRESS SOMEONEBEATMETOTH THELITTLEPRINCECO TLEPRINCECONFIRME TMETOTHESEUSERNAM TTLEPRINCECONFIRM XPRESSO4THEDEPPRE    28/286511799958070431838109696

18:    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ATMETOTHESEUSERNAM BEATMETOTHESEUSERN EATMETOTHESEUSERNA EBEATMETOTHESEUSER ELITTLEPRINCECONFI EONEBEATMETOTHESEU EXPRESSO4THEDEPPRE HELITTLEPRINCECONF ITTLEPRINCECONFIRM LITTLEPRINCECONFIR MEONEBEATMETOTHESE METOTHESEUSERNAMES NEBEATMETOTHESEUSE OMEONEBEATMETOTHES ONEBEATMETOTHESEUS PRESSO4THEDEPPRESS RESSO4THEDEPPRESSO SOMEONEBEATMETOTHE THELITTLEPRINCECON TLEPRINCECONFIRMED TMETOTHESEUSERNAME TTLEPRINCECONFIRME XPRESSO4THEDEPPRES    24/10314424798490535546171949056

19:    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ATMETOTHESEUSERNAME BEATMETOTHESEUSERNA EATMETOTHESEUSERNAM EBEATMETOTHESEUSERN ELITTLEPRINCECONFIR EONEBEATMETOTHESEUS EXPRESSO4THEDEPPRES HELITTLEPRINCECONFI ITTLEPRINCECONFIRME LITTLEPRINCECONFIRM MEONEBEATMETOTHESEU NEBEATMETOTHESEUSER OMEONEBEATMETOTHESE ONEBEATMETOTHESEUSE PRESSO4THEDEPPRESSO SOMEONEBEATMETOTHES THELITTLEPRINCECONF TMETOTHESEUSERNAMES TTLEPRINCECONFIRMED XPRESSO4THEDEPPRESS    21/371319292745659279662190166016

20:    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ATMETOTHESEUSERNAMES BEATMETOTHESEUSERNAM EATMETOTHESEUSERNAME EBEATMETOTHESEUSERNA ELITTLEPRINCECONFIRM EONEBEATMETOTHESEUSE EXPRESSO4THEDEPPRESS HELITTLEPRINCECONFIR ITTLEPRINCECONFIRMED LITTLEPRINCECONFIRME MEONEBEATMETOTHESEUS NEBEATMETOTHESEUSERN OMEONEBEATMETOTHESEU ONEBEATMETOTHESEUSER SOMEONEBEATMETOTHESE THELITTLEPRINCECONFI XPRESSO4THEDEPPRESSO    18/13367494538843734067838845976576

21:    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BEATMETOTHESEUSERNAME EATMETOTHESEUSERNAMES EBEATMETOTHESEUSERNAM ELITTLEPRINCECONFIRME EONEBEATMETOTHESEUSER EXPRESSO4THEDEPPRESSO HELITTLEPRINCECONFIRM LITTLEPRINCECONFIRMED MEONEBEATMETOTHESEUSE NEBEATMETOTHESEUSERNA OMEONEBEATMETOTHESEUS ONEBEATMETOTHESEUSERN SOMEONEBEATMETOTHESEU THELITTLEPRINCECONFIR    15/481229803398374426442198455156736

22:    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BEATMETOTHESEUSERNAMES EBEATMETOTHESEUSERNAME ELITTLEPRINCECONFIRMED EONEBEATMETOTHESEUSERN HELITTLEPRINCECONFIRME MEONEBEATMETOTHESEUSER NEBEATMETOTHESEUSERNAM OMEONEBEATMETOTHESEUSE ONEBEATMETOTHESEUSERNA SOMEONEBEATMETOTHESEUS THELITTLEPRINCECONFIRM    12/17324272922341479351919144385642496

23:    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA EBEATMETOTHESEUSERNAMES EONEBEATMETOTHESEUSERNA HELITTLEPRINCECONFIRMED MEONEBEATMETOTHESEUSERN NEBEATMETOTHESEUSERNAME OMEONEBEATMETOTHESEUSER ONEBEATMETOTHESEUSERNAM SOMEONEBEATMETOTHESEUSE THELITTLEPRINCECONFIRME    10/623673825204293256669089197883129856

24:    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA EONEBEATMETOTHESEUSERNAM MEONEBEATMETOTHESEUSERNA NEBEATMETOTHESEUSERNAMES OMEONEBEATMETOTHESEUSERN ONEBEATMETOTHESEUSERNAME SOMEONEBEATMETOTHESEUSER THELITTLEPRINCECONFIRMED    8/22452257707354557240087211123792674816

25:    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA EONEBEATMETOTHESEUSERNAME MEONEBEATMETOTHESEUSERNAM OMEONEBEATMETOTHESEUSERNA ONEBEATMETOTHESEUSERNAMES SOMEONEBEATMETOTHESEUSERN    6/808281277464764060643139600456536293376

26:    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA EONEBEATMETOTHESEUSERNAMES MEONEBEATMETOTHESEUSERNAME OMEONEBEATMETOTHESEUSERNAM SOMEONEBEATMETOTHESEUSERNA    5/29098125988731506183153025616435306561536

27:    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MEONEBEATMETOTHESEUSERNAMES OMEONEBEATMETOTHESEUSERNAME SOMEONEBEATMETOTHESEUSERNAM    4/1047532535594334222593508922191671036215296

28:    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OMEONEBEATMETOTHESEUSERNAMES SOMEONEBEATMETOTHESEUSERNAME    3/37711171281396032013366321198900157303750656

29:    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SOMEONEBEATMETOTHESEUSERNAMES    2/1357602166130257152481187563160405662935023616

30:    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA    1/48873677980689257489322752273774603865660850176

31:    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA    1/1759452407304813269615619081855885739163790606336

32:    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA    1/63340286662973277706162286946811886609896461828096

glad that im not popular enough to have an evil shadow version of my blog that exists just to make contradictions on my posts

[roosterbruiser]

self rec-ing my Mar[r]y Me fic!! (sorry I can’t link it on anon tumblr is the worsttttt) it’s an OC series with Rooster and Mary, who is the plus size service and repair manager for NAS North Island that he falls in love with 🩷 they’re pretty adorable and sexy if I do say so myself!

@callsignspark

PERFECT!!! I WILL REBLOG THE MASTERLIST AND GET TO READING ASAP!!!! SO EXCITED 🤍🤍🤍

[mrworldwideshoulders]

Absolute Zero || reader x JHS

Pairing: reader x JHS (kinda sorta not really? you’ll see); feat. Yoongi, Jin, JK, and Taehyung (very briefly) Word count: 5.5k Rating: rated M / R Genre: angst, smut (if you squint), breakup au Summary: Everyone thinks he’s crazy for still being hung up on you after this long, but he can’t stop thinking about the one who got away, spending his nights writing letters he’ll never send and words you’ll never read. Inspired by Talking to the Moon - Bruno Mars.  Warnings: very angsty; you might cry a lil bit, strong language probably, implied smut/sexual content, alcohol consumption.  A/N: hellooooo I am very excited to share my first fic with you! I love this one so much, like really, so much. It’s one of my favorites and idk if you can tell but I’m really proud of this one. I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing, and let me tell you, I really enjoyed writing it. tell me your thoughts in the notes; I'd love to hear em! please be gentle though T_T shoutout to my bestest pal and actual sister @onmypillow-onmytable for this excellent banner and for beta-reading! Thx! ly - robyn P.S. I do not own BTS or their likenesses, nor do I own the music of Bruno Mars, lol, they simply inspire me. 

part of the Hooligans collection

inspo playlist here

absolute zero: the lowest temperature that is theoretically possible, at which the motion of particles that constitutes heat would be minimal.

Dear y/n,

I keep asking myself why you left, and nothing I can come up with makes any sense. All I ever did was love you, y/n. What about that was so wrong? I know it wasn’t part of the agreement we had, but I never planned it this way. I couldn’t help my feelings. You have to understand that, y/n. I never wanted to push you away. I wanted to keep you close, and I couldn’t even do that. 

I can’t stop myself from thinking about you every day. Wondering where you are. Where you went. What you’re doing. Your number doesn’t work. Your email’s been deactivated. It’s almost as if you’ve dropped off the face of the planet, y/n. Is that where you are? Outer space? You might as well be, as far as I know. I hope you’re doing all right, wherever you are. I don’t think I could live knowing something terrible happened to you. Maybe not knowing anything is better. Take care of yourself, y/n. Until we meet again. 

Love always,

Hoseok

Hoseok blinks awake, startled out of a fitful sleep by some unconscious sensation of falling in a dream, stopping suddenly before he can hit the ground. They say dreams where you’re falling always stop before you can hit the ground, something about how if you die in a dream you die in real life too. He wishes the dream wouldn’t have stopped, wondering what it feels like to slam into hard ground, to shatter into a million little pieces, not knowing if someone will come along to sweep him up into a dustpan and piece him back together. He’s not familiar with the sensation. He only knows falling, perpetually, waiting in suspended animation, never reaching the ground. He reaches out a hand, only to find the spot next to him desolate and empty, illuminated in cold, bluish moonlight. The memories come rushing back to him all at once: the same vacant space where you used to sleep, of waking up alone, the same harsh moonlight spotlighting his solitude, a pale white envelope on the pillow next to him. His name, written on the outside in your delicate hand.

Hoseok, you wrote,

I know about the ring, and I guess I can’t say I’m surprised. You never even had to say it. It’s written all over your face every time I look at you: you love me. And you want to marry me. The wedding, the kids, the happily ever after, you want it all. You want too much from me, Hoseok, and I can’t give it to you. Our arrangement was simple: no feelings, no strings, no expectations. It was never supposed to go this far. I let my guard down too much, and I've already let you have too much of me. It was cruel of me to do that. I should have turned you down from the moment you asked me to dance because I knew in my heart I was only ever going to break yours: your sweet, gentle, loving heart. That moment, when you smiled at me and told me your name - that was it. I couldn’t stop myself. I couldn’t hold myself back. 

I know it makes me a coward to do this while you’re asleep, but I can’t bear to see your face when I tell you I’m leaving, Hoseok. Consider this my first and last act of love. Please don’t come looking for me, because you won’t be able to find me. We won't meet again. You’re a good man, and you deserve someone who wants the same things as you, someone who can make you happy. That can never be me, and I’m sorry. I hope you find her one day. She'll be a lucky girl, whoever she is, to have landed a man like you. Treat her well. I know you will. I hope she does the same for you.

Do you know what the saddest part of this is? I think I really could love you someday.

Sweet dreams, Hobi. 

-Y/n

He drags himself to his feet and crosses the room to the dresser, where he pulls out a small black velvet box and flicks it open. The platinum-diamond setting, costing a little more than three months’ worth of his paycheck, glitters in the moonlight with an unearthly sort of beauty. He’d never even gotten the chance to give it to you, only ever showing it to his best friend after he’d bought it. “Do you think she’ll like it?” he’d asked. 

“Well, I mean, I’d say yes if you proposed to me with this,” Yoongi had said. “But…are you sure about this? Didn’t she tell you she didn’t want any hangups?” 

Hoseok closes the box with a snap and drops it back into the drawer. He hasn’t been able to bring himself to get rid of it, thinking somehow he might need it again when you finally return. He heads out onto the balcony, pen and paper in tow. The air is quiet, the world below still tucked under the dark covers of somewhere just after midnight, when the full moon is at its brightest. 

Dear y/n, 

It’s a full moon tonight. I never thought about them before I met you, they were all just something that happened in the background. You always reminded me when they were supposed to happen, and you told me they all meant something different depending on the month. I think it was the cold moon when you left. It’s May now, that’s the flower moon. It doesn't really matter anyway. Every full moon feels cold to me now. It’s stuff like that I can’t forget, you and the names of those moons. Can you see the moon from where you are? Is your moon the same as mine? Nights like these are when I miss you the most, y/n, when the full moon rises and you’re not here in my arms. It’s starting to get warmer now, but everything still feels cold without you. You said you thought you could love me one day, y/n. Why didn’t you stay and find out? I just can’t wrap my head around it. I have all of these questions and I don't know if I'll ever find answers. I wish you had stayed, at least long enough to explain it to me. 

Take care of yourself, y/n. Until we meet again. 

Love always,

Hoseok

He meets up with his best friend for lunch the next day, though he doesn’t do much except pick at his food. Yoongi watches him intently, eyebrows furrowed in concern. “Aish, just leave it if you’re not going to eat it,” he says, frowning.

Hoseok sets down his chopsticks and shifts his gaze to stare out the window. Food doesn’t hold much appeal for him anymore, not since you left. Nothing does, really. 

“What do you think about going on a blind date?” says Yoongi. “I was talking to one of the waitresses at that new club I was spinning at last week. She’s pretty, seems nice. Seems like you two have a lot in common. I think you might hit it off. I’ll give her your number if you want, next time I’m over there.” 

The idea of meeting someone new is almost too much to consider. How could he even think about going out with someone else when you might come back any day now? Hoseok shakes his head. “No,” he says. “Thanks, but…I can’t right now.” 

Yoongi sighs and goes silent for a moment. “It’s been six months since she left. You can’t go on like this forever. It’s delusional." 

He shrugs, smiling sadly. “Not yet.” 

His mother is there when he gets home, the only person other than you and his best friend who knows his apartment code. She comes by almost every other weekend to fill up his refrigerator with leftovers and side dishes, fearing he doesn’t know how to eat properly when she’s not there to cook for him. She doesn't like any of it: that he lives alone, that she can't always be there to look after him, that he took a job here after college instead of moving back home. “Hoseok, I was noticing…” she starts, after they’ve greeted each other. “These are the same dishes I brought you last time. You haven’t eaten them yet?” She gestures at the dishes on the top shelf of the fridge. 

“No,” he says. “Just haven’t gotten to them, that’s all.” He doesn’t like to worry her. How could he say that not even her cooking does anything for his lack of appetite? She wouldn’t understand. She never even knew you existed. All she knows is that she has a son who won’t eat her cooking. 

"But you’re so thin. Are you sure you're eating properly?" His mother reaches up to touch his face, pinching his cheek. "You look like you’re wasting away.” 

“Of course I have,” he deflects. “I’m fine.” 

She eyes him skeptically. “Really? You seem so depressed these days. And you won’t tell me what’s going on. I’m worried about you. You’re not overworking yourself, are you? You look exhausted.” His mother pauses, biting her lip. “Why don’t you come home for a bit and let me take care of you? I’m sure your father would like to see you too. It must be tiring, living in the city all by yourself. Some time in the country would be good for you.”

“Everything is fine,” he reassures her, though he’d like nothing more than to spend a week or two at home in Gwangju, where there’s nothing to remind him of you. “There’s a big project at work, and the client’s being difficult, so things are just…kind of rough right now. But I’ll get through it.” It’s surprising how easily the lie makes its way out of his mouth. “I’ll come home soon. I promise.” 

She still looks dubious, but she goes to depart regardless, making Hoseok swear he’ll have empty dishes ready for her to take back the next time she comes. He watches her leave, longing to fall into her arms and explain everything. There was a girl. I loved her. I only wanted to make her happy. But she left me, and I can’t understand why. It hurts. It hurts so much. Nothing feels right without her. Tell me it gets easier, Mom. Tell me one day it won’t hurt as much. Would she understand? No, she wouldn’t. No one could ever understand. 

Dear y/n, 

My mother came by today to bring me food. I’ve told her a thousand times I’m an adult and I can take care of myself, but I don’t think she’ll ever get over wanting to feed me all the time. She’s worried about me. I think she thinks I might be losing it. She wanted me to come home for a while, out in the country. That would be good, wouldn’t it, y/n? I always wanted to bring you there sometime, to show you where I grew up. Gwangju is nice. You would have liked it there. I would have taken you there someday, introduced you to my friends and family back home. I wish you would have let me introduce you to my parents. My sister, too. They would have liked you if they’d ever gotten a chance to meet you. We were always so secretive, y/n. They never even knew we were together. 

Yoongi says I’m just deluding myself, that you’re not coming back. Everyone else says the same thing too: Jin, Taehyung, Jungkook, all of them. But I can’t make myself accept that. What does someone like Jungkook know about love, anyway? He’s practically a baby. He’s probably never even been in love before. Y/n, sometimes I wonder if you can hear me as I’m writing these letters. Are you out there somewhere, listening to me? Are you out there talking to me too? Are we still connected somehow? I’d like to think we are. That’d be nice. Better than the alternative. 

Take care of yourself, y/n. Until we meet again. 

Love always,

Hoseok

Hoseok can't remember how long he's been here, or how long he's been drinking. He's lost count of which drink he's on. He's not even quite sure where he is, though he knows it’s a bar of some type. Sounds and voices swirl around him, fading in and out, muffled, rippling, as if he’s deep underwater. He squints at the barstool next to him, thinking, if he focuses hard enough, that he can see your figure next to him, leaning against the bar, in the dress you were wearing when he first saw you. He remembers that night, far more clearly than he should. Seeing you across the crowded dance floor. Only introducing himself because his friends had dared him to, saying how far out of his league you had to be. Your smile, something sad behind it, even then. Back up against the wall as he fumbled with the door to his apartment, struggling to keep your hands off each other, the two of you stumbling down the hall in the dark leaving a trail of clothes in your wake, shoes kicked off, that dress abandoned somewhere in the living room, his jacket slung haphazardly over a chair, until you finally made it to the bed, fully exposed, your bare skin practically iridescent in the light of the full moon, beckoning him closer. Losing himself in you, in your body. Passionate moans and breathy sighs. Your breath on his ear, whispering his name, your voice sending shivers down his spine. Waking up the next morning with you curled into his arms, head resting against his chest, as if you were always meant to be there. Your hair, your eyes, your smudged makeup from the night before, everything about you - perfect. He's gone back to that night a thousand times, relived those moments over and over in his mind, wishing with everything in him that he could go back in time to keep himself from ever seeing you, from ever daring to speak to you. To satisfy the part of him that wishes he had never met you, and to hell with the part of him that never regretted a single moment.

As soon as he reaches out to touch you, your image evaporates, dissipating like a reflection on smooth water. “Y/n,” he mumbles. “Where did you go?” He rests one cheek against the cool surface of the bar, lulled by the warm feeling of the alcohol and the swishing sound thumping in his ears. I don’t want to be alone, he thinks. Please don’t leave me alone. A warm, comforting black blanket sweeps over him, blocking out the sound and light from around him. 

He becomes aware of reality again when he notices the feeling of someone shaking his arm. “Hey,” sounds a voice in his ear. “Hey you, wake up.” He slowly comes to, sitting up and looking around. The bartender who’s been serving him all night is leaning on the counter, arms crossed. Her face is a mixture of resigned annoyance, as if she’s had to deal with this one too many times. “It’s last call,” she says. “We’re closing. You want to close your tab, or what?” 

“Go ahead,” he says, sitting up and dropping the side of his face into his palm. She walks off and returns moments later, sliding a receipt across the counter to him. 

“Are you going to be all right to get home?” she asks. “Do you want me to get you a cab? Or is there someone I can call for you?” 

Y/n, he thinks. “No,” says Hoseok. “Don't worry about it. I'll be fine.” He stands up and immediately stumbles.

“Okay, you’re not going anywhere,” says another voice, one that sounds familiar. Yoongi pulls Hoseok’s arm over his shoulders and steadies him. “Come on, I’ve got you.” 

“Yoongi?” he slurs. “What are you doing here?” 

“You drunk-dialed me, remember?” says Yoongi dryly. “Well, no, I don't guess you'd remember. That was a while ago. I thought you'd have gotten home by now.” 

He doesn’t say anything, allowing Yoongi to drag him along. 

“You really gotta stop doing this,” Yoongi grumbles. 

“What, drinking alone?” Hoseok chuckles goofily, reaching out his index finger to poke Yoongi in the cheek. 

“No,” Yoongi says, slapping his hand away. “Whatever this is. Beating yourself up over every little thing. Drinking until you pass out. I’m your best friend, Hob-ah. You know I’ll be there whenever I can, but I can’t always be there to drag your sorry ass back home. I have my own life too. The one time I don't pick up my phone you’re going to get so pissed drunk you’ll wander out into the middle of the street and get yourself hit by a bus or something, and you won’t even notice.”

“You worry too much,” mutters Hoseok. “You should get together with my mom.” 

Yoongi sighs and doesn’t say anything else until they’re home, releasing Hoseok to fall onto the couch. “Probably fucked up my shoulder even more just dragging you home,” he complains. “Fuck, I can’t deal with this anymore. I don’t know how you can either. She’s gone. Not coming back. It’s the truth. You need to accept that. The sooner you do the sooner we can all get on with our lives. You'll never be able to move on if you're just sitting here wallowing in the past and what might've been.” 

“I can’t,” he mumbles. “It hurts too much. If she'd given me a chance—”

“What? You could have changed her mind? Gotten her to stay?” Yoongi sits down on the ottoman across from him. “Hobi, I hate to break it to you, but you couldn’t have stopped her from leaving any more than I could have. She knew what she wanted. You knew, too, and you still let yourself fall for her. She was always going to leave because you were always going to let your heart get involved. That’s just the kind of person you are. It wasn't a matter of if, it was just a matter of when. You were never cut out for that kind of relationship, and I don’t know why you insisted on pretending like you were. You wouldn’t have been happy with that kind of arrangement in the long run, and if you think I’m wrong you’re just lying to yourself.”

He lets that sink in. Yoongi is wrong - he’s sure of it. He would have been happy. You could’ve been, too. Things could have changed - he could have made you happy. “Get out,” says Hoseok, rubbing his eyes. “Just…leave me alone. Please.”

Yoongi stands up. “Fine. Get some sleep. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” He lets himself out, allowing the door to slam behind him. 

The room suddenly feels unbearably small and stuffy, and deafeningly silent now that he's alone again. He stumbles his way over and out to the balcony, gasping slightly as the cool evening breeze lands on his flushed cheeks. The moon is in a different phase now, waning from the full in preparation for the new. Even so, the stars seem somehow brighter tonight. He stares up, transfixed by the sky, every star where it’s supposed to be. Every star except you, the one that’s supposed to be right next to him. He allows himself to get lost in the starfield, hoping to find some indicator that you're still out there, that you've simply fallen out of orbit and gotten lost somewhere out in space, just like he is now, drifting through, waiting for someone to reach out and grab your hand and pull you back toward them. 

That's the last thing he remembers when he comes to the next morning, early, as the sun is making its way into the sky again, sitting upright in one of the chairs he leaves on the balcony. His neck is stiff, his back is sore, his head is pounding angrily, and his search for you in deep space was once again unsuccessful. He hears the sound of birds, of the early morning buses, feels the sunlight on his face, smells the scent of a spring morning in Seoul. All of it only serves as a reminder that he's here, alone, without you. You're not lost in space. You're not here. You're not anywhere. You're somewhere far away, beyond his reach or anyone else's. You're not his anymore.  

Maybe you never were. 

Dear y/n,

You said you couldn’t be the one to make me happy. If that’s the truth, then why do I feel so empty without you? Why does the world feel so cold when you’re not here? I was happy with you, y/n. You didn’t even have to try to make me happy. As long as you were there, I was happy. That’s why I wanted to marry you. To have you by my side for the rest of my life was all I ever wanted. It would have been enough just to wake up next to you every morning, to hold you close, to look into your eyes and see you when you’re groggy and half-asleep. For you to be the one I came home to every night, to be the only one I’d ever be with. If I could have had that, I would have been happy for the rest of my life.

But maybe you were right. Maybe I was asking too much. Maybe I wanted too much. You weren’t ready. I know that now. But y/n, I would have waited forever if you asked me to. I could have been patient. We would have figured it out together. I know I could have made you happy too, if you’d only given me a chance. Since you cut me loose, I’m just drifting around, lost in space. I’ve tried to forget you. It's been six months. By all logic I should have already forgotten you and moved on by now. But I can’t. I tried to drink you away, but I couldn't. It only made your face clearer in my mind. I still see you everywhere I go. What am I supposed to do now, y/n? When my heart still aches for you, even though you’re the one who broke it? When all the alcohol in the world couldn't even make me forget you? What am I supposed to do now? I don’t just miss you, y/n, I need you. I hate you, but I still need you. What sense does that make? 

I'm sorry. My head is pounding. I'm going to bed now.

Hoseok

He’s preparing for another night in when there’s a sudden pounding at his door. Half expecting you, or god forbid, Yoongi, he opens it, finding Jin and Jungkook outside instead, and he can’t help but feel a tad disappointed, though admittedly his friends are a welcome sight. He can barely remember the last time he even saw Jin or Jungkook or any of them other than Yoongi, to be honest.

“See, I told you he was in there,” says Jin cheerfully, shooting Jungkook a sideways glance. “He barely goes anywhere these days. And he always opens the door when he knows it’s me. Isn’t that right, Hobi?” He pushes his way past him, clapping Hoseok good-naturedly on the shoulder. 

“What do you guys want?” he says, following them into the kitchen. Jungkook is perched on one of the barstools while Jin leans against the counter. 

“Yah! Who says we’re here because we want something?” demands Jin indignantly. “The restaurant gave me the night off for once so we’re going out. We wanted to stop by and say hello, that’s all. Can’t we say hello to our friend that we haven’t seen in a while?” 

“Hi,” says Hoseok. “So where are you headed?” 

“We’re meeting Taehyungie at that club downtown,” replies Jungkook. “That new one Yoongi-hyung keeps talking about. We thought we'd finally go check it out.”

“Oh.” He hasn’t been out to a club since before you left. “Have fun then, I guess.” 

“Well, if you’re not doing anything…” Jin says, looking at Hoseok pointedly.

“Yeah!” Jungkook’s face brightens noticeably. “Come out with us, hyung. Please?” With his big, earnest doe eyes, he looks so innocent that if it weren’t for his muscled arms no one would ever believe he was a professional MMA fighter. “We haven’t gone out together in ages.” 

“Yeah, Hobi, come with us,” pipes Jin. “We never see you. You don’t go out anymore. And you’ve been so down ever since…” He hesitates when he sees Hoseok’s face. “Well, all I’m saying is that you deserve to have some fun. Live a little. You know?” He sidles up next to him, nudging him gently with his elbow. “Come on, let’s do something together. You used to love going out. Things haven’t been the same without you. And you know Kookie will desert me the second he gets a better offer anyway, like he always does. You should come. Keep me and Tae company.” 

“I don’t do that every time!” protests Jungkook.

"Almost every time," retorts Jin. He turns back to him. “Please? We miss you, Hobi. Not just because you don’t go out anymore, but the way you used to be. You’re so mopey these days. I don’t think I’ve seen you smile in months. Yoongi says you’ve been drinking by yourself a lot lately, too. If you’re going to drink tonight, why don’t you do it with us instead of sitting here drinking by yourself? We’re a lot more fun than you are right now. I guarantee it.” 

It’s true, it has been a long time since he’s gone out, or even spent any time with his friends. He used to like going out on the weekends, drinking for fun, not to forget. He's not sure he remembers how to do that anymore. “I don't know," he says, looking down. “I probably won't be much fun. You'd be better off going without me.” 

"All the more reason you should come," Jin says. “You're just out of practice, that's all. You won't be any fun if you don't at least try." He drops a hand on his shoulder. "So what do you say?"

Hoseok ponders this for a moment. Is it too soon? Are his friends right? Does he deserve to have fun? Should he just do as Yoongi says and get on with his life? 

"Yeah," he says finally. "Why not? I'II come.”

The club is louder than he remembers: almost too loud. He finds himself wishing partly that he'd stayed home where it's quiet, the drinks are already paid for, and he can hear himself think. Although, the other part of him thinks that maybe it's a good thing he can't hear himself think, and he wonders why he didn't try this sooner. Maybe he would have forgotten you before now if he had. Taehyung has already paired himself off with a woman who looks like she belongs on a runway, and the ever-charming Jin is surrounded by a clump of girls – and guys – in another corner of the dancefloor. Jungkook has disappeared too, although to where he’s not sure. So much for doing something together. He sighs and keeps his spot by the bar. 

Someone approaches, a girl in a tight black dress and stiletto heels, her face framed in S-curls. “Hi there,” she says “You look lonely.” She smiles invitingly. “I can keep you company, if you like.” She’s pretty, like a member of one of those idol girl groups. She looks nothing like you - her eyes don’t have that same sadness that always seemed to be behind yours, and her smile seems genuine, whereas yours always seemed a little feigned. Her dress is far shorter than you ever would have dared to wear yours, just barely covering the tops of her thighs. 

He hesitates for a moment, before saying, “Sure.”

She takes the seat next to him. “My name’s Jihyo,” she says. “Yours?”

He downs the last of his drink. “Hoseok.” 

Jihyo leans in, and he can’t help but glance down at her chest, her arm pressing her breasts upwards. She’s hitting on him; that’s obvious enough. “You’re cute, oppa. But why do you look so sad?” 

The question catches him off-guard. “What?” 

“Let me guess,” she says. “You just got out of a relationship, didn’t you?” 

Was it ever really a relationship? Or was it just an arrangement? “Something like that,” he says finally. 

“Me too,” she says. “About a week ago.”

“I never would have guessed,” he says, and he wouldn’t have, not with the way she’s acting. 

“I’m a good actress.” Jihyo grins. “Besides, he was all wrong for me. I’m over it - mostly.” She looks him directly in the eye.  “What about you, oppa? Are you over her?” 

She’s bold. He’ll give her that. “No,” he says. “Not in the slightest.” 

“Do you want some help with that?” Jihyo smiles mysteriously. “People say I’m very… therapeutic.”

He knows exactly what she’s asking. “Your place or mine?” he says automatically, before he knows what he’s doing.  

“Yours is fine,” she says. “I have roommates. You live alone, right?” 

He doesn’t even want to know how she figured that out. 

Jihyo is gone by the time he wakes up the next morning, leaving not even a single trace of herself behind, other than a scrap of paper she’s left with an almost indecipherable scribbled phone number. He realizes, as the sunlight is creeping into his room, that this is the first morning he hasn’t automatically thought of you the moment he woke up. The first morning where the light of day isn’t as painful as it was the day before. He has to hold himself back from immediately entering her number into his phone to tell her good morning, to ask her if she got home all right, that he would have given her cab fare if she’d asked. In all likelihood he’ll probably never see Jihyo again. So none of that really matters now, does it? 

Jin: Yah! Where did you run off to last night without telling us? You’re as bad as Jungkookie now! Hoseok: Me? What about you? You deserted me first. Whatever. I had fun at least. Let’s do something again the next time you’re free. Jin: Yeah! Let’s do it!

He tries it again the next night, bringing home another girl, with another short dress and a different name. This one wants to hang around and talk in the morning, instead of vanishing silently while he’s asleep like Jihyo. He wishes she wouldn’t, that she’d quietly get her things and be on her way out. He’s relieved when she’s finally gone. She talks too much, which is good in bed but nowhere else.

It gets easier, eventually. Every morning, he notices, becomes a little less painful. He’s finally figured it out, he thinks. The answer to the question of what to do to forget you. A different woman for every night you’re gone, from here on out, until the day comes where it doesn’t hurt so much to face the truth, that you’re gone and never coming back. Where he doesn’t automatically wonder where you are or what you’re doing, or whether you still think about him. He stops writing you letters eventually too, tucking the sealed envelopes into a shoebox, along with the tiny velvet box he never found it in himself to get rid of, and all the other little things that remind him of you. The shoebox makes its way onto the top shelf of his closet, where it won’t be thought of again for a long time. The next time his mother comes into the city he sends her back home with empty dishes, having finished off every leftover. He finds himself smiling again, now that you’re not constantly on his mind anymore. He feels lighter. Like he could be happy again without you. 

It’s true, dwelling on the past will only hold you back. The only way out is forward. Yoongi was right about that, at least. But in the end, it was you who taught him the most valuable lessons: to keep things short and sweet, to stay detached, to keep your heart closely guarded. He knows this now. Everything that ever reminded him of you is gone, but the scars on his heart will always be there, a silent reminder of a mistake he’ll never make again. Falling for someone, allowing them to hold your heart in their hands, even for only a brief moment - only ever ends in heartbreak. Hearts are fragile, slippery things, and they’ll always end up sliding out of your hands, fracturing into a million little pieces, too small and too delicate to be put back together. 

©2022 by mrworldwideshoulders