#fat alastor my beloved

[deadsquirrelaftermidnight]

A sort of sequel to an art piece I made a while back for the sfw blog.

Headcanon time: Rosie has poor circulation and is cold all the time. The bigger Al gets, the more body heat he has. So she sleeps as close as possible to him, every chance she gets. If not flat out on top of him.

[asdeadasasquirrel]

I did it @boss-the-goofball ✨

Here’s Alastor with twink death so severe, he is now cannibal Orson Welles. 🎙️

[storydays]

Masquerade P1

*IMPORTANT A/N: These next few chapters contains scenes that depict sexual assault. Please do not read if that is triggering to you! Reader discretion is advised*

(3rd POV)

(Y/N) yawned, as he rolled over and smiled at the still sleeping demon in his bed. After their kiss last night, the two stayed up talking about everything and anything that came to their minds. Angel told him about his human life, about his beloved twin sister Molly, and in turn, (Y/N) told him about his relationships with his parents and a past lover. 

(Y/N) had only one other boyfriend in his life time, but unfortunately, when (Y/N) was 205 his fiance was taken in an extermination. That night, (Y/N) he'd lost control of his power, and everything within a 65 mile radius was destroyed as he screamed out for his lost love. 

He raged for 6 hours until Lucifer had shown up, and quickly embraced his son in his arms, and held him as he wailed.

The prince didn't remember anything after seeing Archer being cut in half in front of him, but from what his father told him, he'd killed multiple demons and exorcists in his rage. Angel held (Y/N)'s hand as he talked, listening patiently. He kissed (Y/N)'s head as a silent, 'I'm here.' and (Y/N) held Angel tightly as he told him about everything Valentino has done to him. 

They curled up together under the blanket, (Y/N) being the big spoon and holding Angel. 

That was last night, and somehow they'd woken up on opposite sides of the bed, their backs touching. (Y/N) pressed a kiss to Angel's forehead before getting up, and walking into his bathroom to get ready for the day. 

He was singing softly to himself as he carefully finished doing his eyeliner when he felt a nudge on his foot. (Y/N) looked down at the animals, Fat Nuggets and Rocco were looking at him, as if asking for something. 

"Oh, you guys are hungry? Hang on." He walked over to feed the two, chuckling as the two made noises of joy before digging into their food. "Now it's my turn to eat." (Y/N) adjusted his clothes so he was presentable before quietly leaving the room, and making his way downstairs.

*Downstairs*

In the kitchen, (Y/N) was humming as he made breakfast for the hotel. 

"Good morning, (Y/N)!" Charlie called, walking in the kitchen with a  sleepy Vaggie behind her. "Good morning, Charlie! Morning Vaggie!" (Y/N) replied, before handing them a plate of their favorite food. 

"Oh thanks, (Y/N)." Vaggie said, as he slid a cup of coffee towards her. "You're in a good mood, big brother." Charlie noted, also taking a cup of coffee. "What? I can't do something nice for people once in a while?" (Y/N) rolled his eyes playfully, setting down Husk's, Niffty, and Alastor's plate down.

"Thank you, my dear (Y/N)!" Alastor grinned. The prince had made everyone their favorite breakfast, and had truly outdone himself. 

(Y/N) quickly put a pink and a red rose on Angel's breakfast, before teleporting it up to his room, for Angel to find when he wakes up. "Sooo are you going to be lovey dovey with Angel now?" Husk asked, raising an eyebrow at the usually quite prince. 

Caught off guard,  (Y/N) tripped slightly, spilling orange juice on his shirt. "Damn it." He groaned, using a towel to dab at the juice. "To answer your question, Husk, I don't think much will change, the only difference is we are officially together now. I'll be back." He sighed, teleporting to his room. 

*Up in his room*

(Y/N) made his way to his closet, taking off his vest and shirt, to replace it with another one. "Well, that's a nice view to wake up to, sweet cheeks." Angel's sleep heavy voice said lowly. (Y/N) turned to look at the spider who was leaning on his elbow looking at (Y/N), through half lidded eyes. 

"Good morning, tesoro." Smiled (Y/N), as he started to button up his shirt. "Sleep well?" he asked. "Bambola, these last few nights I've slept with you, have been the best sleep I've had since coming to Hell." Angel admitted, before noticing the breakfast tray on (Y/N)'s nightstand. 

"I made you breakfast, Angel." (Y/N) walked over to place the tray over Angel's lap, before pressing a kiss to the spider's forehead. "You missed," the spider narrowed his eyes, before pulling on (Y/N)'s tie, and bringing him down to a chaste kiss.

When he let go, (Y/N) blushed brightly, cleared his throat, and adjusted his tie.

"E-E-Eat up and then come down. Charlie said it's show and tell today." Angel laughed loudly at the prince's bashfulness. 

*Downstairs in the lounge area.*

Angel groaned as he shook his head, waking up from being disoriented. "Huh?" he gasped, looking around the room in a panic, before struggling against his binds. He looked around, fear written over his face, when a shadow moved. "Finally awake, Angel Dust?" asked a raspy voice. "Yeah, and what's it to you?" smirked Angel before the shadow grabbed Angel by his hair, holding a knife to his throat before letting him go.

"I want you to tell me where your boss stashes his vault." "Hehehe! It's hilarious you think I'd tell you anything." Angel said lowly, looking the kidnapper up and down.

"Fine. I guess I'll just have to fuck the information outta ya." The wolf demon growled, gripping Angel by his shirt. "Do your worst.....Daddy." smirked the spider. "Ohhhh, yeahhh, baby!" moaned the onscreen Angel.

The Hazbin Hotel members sat around the TV watching with mixed emotions: Sir Pentious and Charlie were weirded out, Vaggie watched through a narrow eye disgust written on her face, Niffty was smiling, laying on the table, kicking her legs as if she was watching a cartoon. (Y/N) was cringing at the way Angel acted on screen.

He knew from last night that Angel's real moans were something sweeter and real.

"Ya know, this performance won me a 'Sex-x-x-i' award." Angel said smugly where he was leaning against the couch, legs resting on (Y/N)'s lap. 

"It's uh..very..honest? Oh.." Charlie groaned, looking away. "Ew!" Vaggie gagged as the onscreen Angel moaned, "Oh, harder, daddy!"

"Okay! Enough of that. Angel, what the fuck?" Vaggie growled, covering Charlie's eyes as she held a hand over her mouth, looking sick.

"What?!" asked the spider, "(Y/N) told me it was 'Show n' Tell' day. I'm shown' you my best film, and I'm tellin' you that it scored me a win over that bitch, Tiffany Titfucker." Angel pushed his chest fluff up, mimicking tits as he rolled eyes at the thought of his arch rival.

"Ya know, not a very convincing interrogation scene." Husk commented from where he was cleaning an glass. 

Angel sat up on his knees to glare at the cat, "Alright, dickhead, what makes you think you have any right to insult my work to my fuckin' face?" he demanded. "You really going to sit there and act like these scripts ain't hot garbage?" Husk asked. 

Angel gasped, "Fuck you! This is classy art!" He gestured to the TV where he was getting his ass bitten by the wold demon. "Ohh, fuck!" He moaned.

"Angel, tesoro, don't take it personally. All artists have their critics." (Y/N) tried to soothe the spider. "That's bullshit." snapped the cat demon. 

"He gets drunk and bitches about it all the time. Everyone likes to bitch to the bartender. I know everything about you and these motherfuckers at this point." Angel rolled his eyes as Husk continued.

"That one," He pointed at Pentious, "That one is an insecure buffoon whose lonely ass watches you idiots sleep!" The snake flinched as everyone turned to look at him: Charlie looked weirded out, Vaggie and (Y/N) were making threatening gestures, and Niffty just stared at him.

"Princess, is a bleeding heart who wants to solve everybody else's problems 'cept her own." Husk looked at Charlie who smiled uncomfortably. "What?! No, I--what? Pffff, no,no." She crossed her arms uncomfortably. 

"This one," Husk motioned to Vaggie, "judges everyone and everything because she hates herself." Vaggie groaned. 

"Prince (Y/N) here, keeps everyone arms length because he thinks he's too dangerous to let others in." (Y/N) avoided Charlie and Angel's curious glances as he fidgeted with his wrist band. 

"And Niffty..." Husk trailed off as Niffty held a finger over her mouth mischievously, mimicking Alastor's dark smile. "Hehh...You don't even wanna know what her deal is." He scoffed drinking his cheap booze. 

Angel cackled, kicking his feet like child. "You weren't kidding! Haha, wow!" He laughed in Vaggie's face before turning towards Husk with a grin. 

"Kitten's got claws. Meow!" He jokingly purred at Husk.  "And you!" Husk hissed, "Don't get me started. I see right through you and all this bullshit and how fake you are." "Oh, me? Fake?" Angel mocked, leaning against (Y/N)'s chest, checking his nails. "Wow. I had no idea. Guess that's why I'm an actor. Dumbass. And--" He was cut off by his phone ringing, "Hold that thought." 

He got up to walk a little away before answering, "Hello? Uh, yeah I'm--I'm..No, No, I just..I.." Angel suddenly got nervous, "No I-I'm not...But uh..Yeah..I'll be right there." The spider hung up, before turning around with a wide grin, though you can tell he was still nervous. 

"Well, uh, looks like Val needs me for an...uh--emergency shoot." He started to walk towards (Y/N) to bid him goodbye, when Husk muttered, "Uh-huh, sure." 

"You know what, fuck you. I don't give a shit what some drunk ass bartender thinks a' me." He pulled a pair of pink shades from his chest fluff with a smirk. "So why don't you just crawl back to whatever cave you came from, porn critic." He hissed, flicking the cat off, putting his shades on before walking over to the prince, and pressing a kiss to his forehead, "A più tardi,  guance dolci.(See you later, sweet cheeks.)"

He made his way to the door, when Charlie ran in front of the door, blocking him from escaping.  "Angel! You can't leave yet. We haven't finished our exercises for the day." She tried pulling him away from the door, when he pulled away, waving her off. "I'm sure you'll manage without me."

Charlie slammed the door again, "There isn't much time for the hotel to prove itself!" Angel pinched the bridge of his beak before taking his sunglasses off, and leaning down to look Charlie in her eyes. 

"Dollface, it's my job. I know you want to fix everything, but unless you can fix my boss," He gently moved her from in front of the door, placing his shades back over his eyes, "There's nothing you can do." He slammed the door, finally leaving. 

Charlie groaned, sliding down the door, pulling her face down with her hands, "Ughhhhhhh, why is this so haaaaard?" 

"What am I doing wrong?" She asked Vaggie and (Y/N) as they approached. "Well, I mean, you're the princess of Hell." 

"So?" Charlie was confused what that had to do with anything, "So, you don't really use the power that comes with that, which I love about you," Vaggie smiled, placing a hand on the princess' shoulder. "But maybe, you can..I don't know..command a little more....authority." Vaggie grinned. 

"But that's so mean..." Charlie whined. "It's not mean, exactly. It's uh..aggressive kindness." (Y/N) tried. "Okay.. I could be so aggressively kind to Angel's boss that I convince him to let Angwl spend more time at the hotel!" Charlie said excitedly. 

"Sure, whatever gets you there, babe." Vaggie smiled. "Come on, Charlie. I'll go with you." (Y/N) scooped Charlie up and flew out of a nearby window.

*At the porn studio*

Angel flopped onto a bed, running his hands over his body, "Ohhh! Daddy I.....uhhhh?" Angel trailed off, pulling the script from under the pillow he was laying on.  He scoffed and sat up, "Do you really expect me to memorize this whole script?" 

"Just improve it. Do you think anyone watches for the dialogue?" Valentino purred, asking his assistant director. "Action!" He called. 

Four sinners dressed in BSDM clothing and ropes in their hands burst into a side door. "Oh, no." Angel covered himself with the covers, "So many burglars.... and only one me. Whatever shall I do?" He cooed, before looking down at the script. "I guess I'll have to do all of you!" He lowered the blanket, as another sinner pinned him down to bed. 

"Ohh! So, what are you gonna do ta' me?" Angel grinned, eyes glowing slightly. 

He looked over the demon's shoulder and caught sight of his boyfriend and his sister walking in. "Charlie? (Y/N)?" he gasped. 

The demon above him looked confused, "Uh, my name's Rocky." "No one gives a shit." The spider pushed Rocky off him. 

"Oh, so this is where the magic happens." Charlie said excitedly. She turned around just as a woman was taking her bra off, showing off her breasts. Charlie and (Y/N) both blushed, Charlie appreciating a nice set of boobs, (Y/N) just happened to be a very modest person, so that was a lot to him. "Oh, wow, that is--" The siblings gasped seeing another porn star being felt up by another and having oil poured on him.  "That is a lot." The siblings both muttered in unison, (Y/N) peeking through his fingers as Charlie watched wide eyed.

(Y/N) and Charlie were suddenly pulled to the side by Angel who was wearing  a pink fur robe, looking terrified. "What in the ever-loving fuck are you two doing here?!" he whispered harshly. 

""I am the Princess of Hell, Angel. And I go where I please." Charlie said snottily before whispering to him, "I'm here to get you some time off for the hotel." "And there was no way I was letting her come by herself to this....place." (Y/N) grimaced. "Now, where's your boss?" Charlie asked, before being jerked back by Angel. 

"Oh, no, no, no,no, no, no, no, no. You two are going nowhere near Val--" "Angel?" called Valentino. "What is the fucking hold up?"

"I'm coming!" Angel called, pushing the two royals towards the door. "Not off camera, you're not!" snapped the moth. 

"Please, please, just wait, wait until I'm done working, and we will talk about this, I promise. But first you've gotta go." He begged, eyes wide with fear.

"Ah! Your Majesty..Oh! And His Royal Highness as well! What a treat!" Val grinned, approaching the group. 

"Oh shit." Angel cursed under his breath. 

"Welcome to my humble sex dungeon. What can I do for such--" He licked Charlie's arm, as she cringed, "Oh, no thank you", "Mm! Lovely specimen!" He went to do the same to (Y/N) who pulled out his angelic knife from his side pocket. "Touch me and I will shove this in your eye sockets and finger fuck the holes." Charlie and Val stared wide at him, while Angel snorted softly at his boyfriend's strong dislike of being touched. 

"You two don't want roles, do you? Because I could make you both stars. Make us all richer than well, your papito.." Val dipped Charlie before (Y/N) pulled her behind him. "Fuck no!" They both said. 

Charlie cleared her throat, "Uh, I-I'm sorry. I have come to aggressivly kindly speak with you about Angel." (Y/N) noticed Angel waving his hands no with a desperate look in his eyes. "Later, of course. We wouldn't want to stand in the way of you work." 

Val turned to side eye Angel who flinched before turning to the Prince and Princess. 

"Well then, make yourselves comfortable, Your Majesties! And enjoy the show." Angel quickly ran back to his bed before Val could get more upset. "Well, let's take this shit from the top!"

"Action!" The assistant director cackled. (Y/N) stood next to Valentino, looking uninterested on the outside, but on the inside he was filled with worry.

Angel was slammed into the bed, "Oh, wow, mister robbers, I sure hope you don't hurt me with those big...guns of yours." 

"Don't move, you spicy little, uh...cock sleeve or else I'll....." He was distracted by the mic dropping into the shot, and everyone looked over to Charlie whispering to the mic man. "We do trust exercises everyday in the morning..."

(Y/N) face palmed, "Damn it." "Cut! What the fuck is going on with this?" Val demanded. "Ooh, I'm sorry. Were we too loud?" Charlie smiled apologetically, the demon she was talking to walking away and glaring at her.

"I was just telling him about the Hazbin Hotel."

"Not at all, Princess! It doesn't bother me one bit." Valentino replied in a high voice, glaring at Angel who flinched. "You know, this scene feels awfully violent. If you want help with the script, maybe I can pitch some scenarios that are more--" Charlie tripped over a cord, causing an electrical fire to start. 

The crew and actors disappeared, screaming. Angel curled into the bed, "Oh, shit." He and (Y/N) made eye contact as the prince mouthed, 'I'm so sorry.'

Val stood up, glaring at Angel as he shook slightly in fear. "Oh my God. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm s-s-s-s-s-sorry." Charlie apologized trying to put the fire out. 

Valentino opened his wings and put the fire out with a growl. "Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck." groaned Angel. "Oh, my gosh. I am so, so, so, sorry. I--I can clean this up. I--I can--" "Don't you worry your pretty blonde head about it. We have people for that." Valentino smiled before turning to Angel with a frozen smile. 

"Angel, can I see you in your dressing room for a moment?" 

Angel avoided looking at (Y/N) as he scurried after the moth man. 

* This scene contains some triggers! 

In Angel's room*

Valentino slammed the door as Angel turned to him, "Val, I didn't know that.." Angel yelped as Val slapped him. "Val, I--"

"You really think you can have Lucifer's little bastards fight your battles for you?" Val threw the spider into a chair, making Angel back up in fear.  "Val, please, I'm sorry she--"

"You brought them here to protect you?" asked Val as he lit a cigarette. "To fuck with me?" he demanded, using the smoke from his cigraette to bind Angel's upper hands behind his back.

He grabbed the white haired demon by his neck, making Angel wheeze. "Ow! Val, stop!" He begged as he was slammed into the couch.

"You think she can get you out of work?" He growled, blood dripping out of the corner of his mouth. "No! No, that's not what I'm trying to do. No--" Valentino threw the spider across the floor making Angel gasp and pant.

"You know she can't do anything." Val used his smoke to make a chain around Angel's neck, pulling him up to look at the contract Val had him under. "I own you. Or have you forgotten that?" he said, menacingly.

"No." Angel whimpered, close to tears. Val put the contract away before leering down at Angel. "When I say, 'come', you say?" "Yes, Valentino." Angel looked at him in the mirror as Val grinned and leaned down, "When I say, 'you're fucking 20 guys before lunch', you say?" 

"Yes, Valentino." Angel lowered his head. "When I say, 'you better get that fucking cunt out of my studio', you say?"

"I.." "You say?" growled the moth. Angel held his free hands up, "Look, Val, she just gets involved in everything. The prince is just her body guard...I'll-I'll them 'em to leave. Just don't hurt them." He begged.

Valentino lifted Angel up by his collar, "I have killed bitches for less than this attitude you're giving me. You're lucky, you make me money. Now, you're going to go get rid of them,  and then you are filming all night." He threw Angel to the ground again, missing when Angel glared at him from the corner of his eye, before he turned to face the overlord. "Get me?"

"Yes, Val." Angel shook in fear. "Good." smiled Val, before roughly grabbing Angel by his arm and slamming the door behind them.  

"All right!" exclaimed Val loudly. "Get your asses back on set, and we are taking this from the top!" He threw Angel towards the bed, Angel catching himself and looking down, thinking about how to get rid of Charlie and (Y/N).

Charlie shifted into her demon form, "What makes you think you can treat him like that?" She rushed forward when (Y/N) caught her by the arm, whispering to her, "Charlie, no." "Charlie! Just stop!" Angel screamed, startling the two royals.

(Y/N) narrowed his eyes at the fact that Angel was now sporting a black eye...which he didn't have before he went into the dressing room. 

"Angel...what are you talking ab--" "Charlie, leave!" Angel started to push the siblings to the door. "But.." "I didn't want you ta come here. I already asked you to leave and you didn't listen. You made things worse." "I just wanted to help you." Charlie whispered. "Well, you ain't!" 

(Y/N) looked at Angel's eyes and realized he was still terrified. He wasn't yelling out of anger, but out of fear. 

Fear of Valentino.

"Okay, okay, Angel. We're leaving now." (Y/N) soothed, Charlie looking at him confusedly. "Please. Let me finish my work." Angel spoke softly, glaring slightly as Charlie went to keep arguing. (Y/N) quickly snatched Charlie and started pushing her out the door, before pausing and turning to look back as Valentino touched Angel's shoulder, the porn star clearly uncomfortable. 

He narrowed his eyes, hearing Valentino purr, "Good boy."

*Outside with the siblings*

Charlie watched as her brother walked, shoulders tense. "Um, (Y/N) what was that about? Angel's your boyfriend, shouldn't you be fighting for him?" She asked, gasping when she saw (Y/N)'s eyes were not only in their demon form, but he also had tears pooling in the side of his eyes. 

"Of course I want to fight for him, Charlie! But we were just doing more harm than good in there just now! Did you see that black eye? He didn't have that when they went into that dressing room." (Y/N) turned to kick a trashcan down and broke a window before laughing darkly. 

"(Y/N)?" Charlie asked. (Y/N) wasn't going to hurt her, she knew that, but it was still unsettling whenever he acted like this. The prince turned to face her with a dark look, eyes wide with murderous glee, a wide smile that made him look like a jester with how wide he was grinning, and the wind started blowing, moving his hair, making him appear way more demonic than he usually was. 

"Oh, don't worry, my sweet little sister. Angel will be free soon enough. Valentino is going to get what's coming to him real soon." 

*End!*

[nunalastor]

Alastor tastes bad

Recently (2 minutes ago) I had to explain to my beloveds friend why Alastors dick would taste absolutely disgusting and I thought I should remind everyone

Generally when I start talking about the taste of meat in general I always bring up how Herbivore meat tastes better to humans because a lot of factors. One obvious one is that we got used to them since they were the most resourceful kind available (Imagine raising a carnivore for it's meat, more meat would be used to raise and fatten it up than you'd get at the end) but it's also because the differing levels of fat on carnivores vs herbivores.

Now, Alastor is a cannibal, we know this. This alone would make him and his dick taste gross, but the people he eats most likely have eaten meat before too, which makes his own flesh double disgusting.

The reason meat tastes bad sometimes is because of its contents right? like how piss would taste disgusting because its contents are shit our body doesn't need anymore. Logically, the healthier you eat, the healthier your body will be, which means better muscle tissues and allat, right? I translate this into it's taste too. A healthy flesh is less likely to carry disease (which I think is part of why herbivores are preferred too) and the nutrients and stuff that goes into your body would also be better quality.

The opposite I imagine is true too, the less healthy stuff you eat, the less tasty your body will be. Considering Alastor has probably eaten meat of people who've also eaten meat before, there's two levels of gross passing down to his flesh.

But it doesn't end there, no. The thing about Alastor is also that he's part deer. depending on the human-to-deer ratio, we could get an absolutely horrid combination of disgusting human meat mixed with even worse venison tastes. The (maybe) only saving his taste would be the fact that deer are herbivores, but I highly doubt he goes around chewing on grass.

And we're still not done yet. Still on the topic of his deer side, the age of venison can effect it's taste and texture. Generally, older deer tend to have tougher meat and a stronger, more pronounced and distinctly wild flavor. This is because as deer age, their muscles develop more connective tissue, making the meat tougher. So he tastes thrice as horrid as a regular wild animals meat.

I am tired and 100% talking out of my ass but do with this information what you will

I also had to google plural of deer for this

canon.

[lanternadosafogados]

Pet Father

It was already late into the night when Angel finally returned to the hotel. Curses aimed at Valentino spiraled in his mind as he walked towards his room, wishing for nothing more than his bed and the company of Fat Nugget.

He opened the door as he arched his back, a not-so-subtle crack following the movement along with a long, drawn-out sigh. Being so focused on seeing his beloved pet would be an understatement to say that hearing the snoring of the little pig as soon as he entered the property caught him off guard.

Angel could feel his head spinning with the speed at which it turned to search for Fat Nugget in the room. That's when a mop of red hair came into his view.

Alastor was sitting on one of the sofas in the hotel's living room, humming a tune and seeming distracted. Normally, Angel would be happy to see his boyfriend after a tiring day, but currently, he was confused. Fat Nugget was with Alastor?

He approached a little hesitantly and curious. He loved that man, but he didn't care that Alastor was a Overlord or even God himself. He would kick his ass hard enough for the sole of his boot to become a tattoo. Fat Nugget snorted again and seemed… happy?

Two of Angel's hands covered his mouth in a gesture of surprise. His little pig was lying in Alastor's lap, who was stroking its head. Oh, my Satan. Angel needed to take a picture of this scene.

"Should I remind you that I have no desire to have my photo taken with that thing in your hand, my dear?"

Angel only had time to take his phone out of his pocket and let out a somewhat embarrassed sound of surprise. He hurried to put it away and take a seat next to Al and his pet. Fat Nugget didn't hesitate to leave Alastor and snuggle into his owner's lap.

"Daddy Al took care of you, baby?" he asked in a baby voice to the little pig. Alastor rolled his eyes, but didn't seem truly bothered.

"I suppose this little thing was just missing you in your absence."

Angel raised an eyebrow as he smiled at Alastor. His hands covered by light pink gloves held Fat Nugget's front paws, making him stand up in his lap.

"Na na ni na no, daddy. I'm your cute little thing too," Angel said again in a childish voice as he petted the pig.

Being a father, especially to an animal, wasn't part of Alastor's plans, but he could make an exception this time.

Also posted on Spiritfanfics and AO3!

[radioisntdead]

Psst

Since we have a hat gremlin- what about other hat wearing Characters?

Sir pent., husker, Lucifer... SUSAN (angel wore a hat one time and so didnt vaggie- do they count?) and Valentino?

My only note is that if Valentino has one it is the equivalent to the most angry lil devil that bites his bald ass head like a rabid flea.

Good evening my dear! I GOT THIS ASK IN THE MORNING AND I KID YOU NOT IT HAS BEEN ON MY BRAIN SINCE. Switching between third person and referring to the reader as you

I'm thinking Sir Pentious's hat creature is like a little lizard, like the gecko lizard that tries to sell you car insurance but instead of car insurance it's just insurance, for what you ask? No idea it's probably a scam don't buy anything from hat lizard, Lil' hat lizard likes to take out with Sir Pentious's hat when he's sleeping, freaks out the eggy Bois, hat gecko totally tries to be a wingman and set him up with Cherri bomb! They are the best winggecko

Huskers hat creature is SMALL, they like the warmth from his fur, you take a lil' nappy nap, snoozy time, when he was a overlord they would help him win casino games, how you ask? I don't know, I don't know how it works but probably by stealing cards or something, his hat creature is probably drunk off their rockers too! Probably chill in cups when not in the hat.

Lucifers hat creature is a duck, 100% a regular duck, a duck that likes to vibe in a hat, that's all I got, the hat quacks. [Lilith gave you to him before leaving.] He likes to show you off to Charlie and the other sins "LOOK AT MY DUCK! THEY REALLY LIKE MY HAT HAhaA"

ANGEL'S CRIME HAT, his lil hat creature is just a lil' guy! He treats em' like a second child [the first is fat nuggets obviously] takes you out of the hat to dress you up, you probably ride fat nuggets like a horse when out of the hat, crime hat creature is totally small enough for that,

I despise Valentino so the bastard is, as per usual dying.

[Warning for mild implied suicide, it's not in depth but It's implied, just a sentence not the reader or the grapist.]

He doesn't have a hat gremlin he has a hat cursed demon leech.

Cursed leech wasn't always cursed, they originally clinged to one of Valentino's victims who ran out during extermination day and you can guess what fate they met.

You, the little hat thing wanted revenge for your fallen friend and so you exited the hat you were originally attached to and infested Valentino's.

Valentino has a constant headache because you bite, sharp teeth piercing his skin, he can't take the hat off because you latch on like a leech, you probably have some diseases that transfer to Valentino so he has to go to the doctors often.

Hat leech will eventually lead to Valentino's permanent death and only then will they be satisfied in taking revenge for their fallen friend, they will exit Valentino's hat and return to the one they left, maybe they'll move on to someone else and be their friend but until then they're on their own.

Vaggie doesn't have a hat gremlin, she has a BOW gremlin, allegedly came from heaven, you are the bow itself. Unraveling to be a bow creature that helps taking people out.

Bonus for Vox because he has a hat right? Or am I delusional we'll find out.

Lil robot creature, totally doubles as a spy, vox's hat is sometimes seen around the hotel stalking Alastor.

SUSAN MY BELOVED OLD GRUMPY LADY, I gotta write for her again soon!

Her hat creature is just like her! Old! her hat will rise up for a moment curse someone out before shrinking back down, similar to Rosie's gremlin, maybe they're related? They probably get into fights, the folks of cannibal town just see Susan's hat and Rosie's hat going at it, dueling probably with weapons I can see them using guns or sticks, sharp sticks,

Susan likes her hat creature, treats em' like a pet and feeds them sinners.

DOODLES TIME, I can't draw anyone's hats for the life of me.

My handwriting sucks but we don't talk about that

[fizziepopangel]

"You may own my soul, but I ain't your fucking pet!"

He complains about how “everyone wants to bitch to the bartender" but he actually loves that the others all trust him enough to confide in him.

While touch might make him purr, Husk's love languages are actually acts of service and words of affirmation. 

Husk actually really does want Charlie's redemption plan to work, and if it does, he really wants to believe that he would be able to get redemption himself… but he knows Alastor would never allow it and if he's honest, he doesn't believe he deserves redemption. He plans to stay at the hotel as long as Alastor will let him to hopefully help Charlie lead others to the redemption he can't get himself.

He's actually a really good cook when he's drunk, but he can't cook for shit sober.

After selling his soul to Alastor, Husk developed a fear of chains because Alastor often dragged him around on one to try to break him out of the idea that he had a say in what his life would be from then on. Even when not wielded by the radio demon himself, they terrify him, needless to say whips and chains do not excite him.

Fat Nuggets follows Husk around. The little pig absolutely adores the demon cat who pet sits him when his owner is out and sometimes he sneaks into Husk’s room just to sleep on his bed. They’ve learned to check Husk’s room first when Angel can’t find his beloved piggy pal.

Husk’s mother was a drunk and his father was a gambling addict. His mother taught him how to take shots and his father taught him to count cards and rig games.

He doesn’t  wear a shirt with his suspenders because when he arrived in hell, he couldn’t get used to the wings and it was uncomfortable having them stuffed inside his shirt, but he hated trying to maneuver them into the holes in shirts made for demons with wings.

He spawned into hell naked. His suspenders/pants were stolen from a demon he found passed out in an alley because, despite being a cat, he felt uncomfortable naked.

Husk still feels uncomfortable completely naked

Despite being a hell cat, when he was alive, he wasn’t a cat person or a dog person. During his time living, Husk kept birds and often went bird watching when he was sober enough to enjoy it.The one upside Husk found to his new demon appearance was the avian aspects of it.

The one bird-like thing he cannot stand is the molting. He thought the fur was bad when he realized that he shed a little bit, but when he began to mold, he absolutely hated it.

His bowtie and hat are like a security blanket, he refuses to go anywhere or do anything without them. He refused to leave his room when Niffty accidently took his bowtie when getting his dirty laundry for laundry day.

On top of purring and shedding, Husk has a few other feline traits���. One of the ones Charlie tends to find the most adorable is the is the fact that he purrs and he can occasionally be caught napping in sunny spots

Niffty is the only one who knows it, but Husk has a bit of a sweet tooth, she often bakes little treats and snacks and candies on his bed when he seems like he’s having a bad day. Husk enjoys the little treats but he isn’t great at showing her that he appreciates the gesture.

Husk’s mother was a drunk and his father was a gambling addict. His mother taught him how to take shots and his father taught him to count cards and rig games.

He doesn’t wear a shirt with his suspenders because when he arrived in hell, he couldn’t get used to the wings and it was uncomfortable having them stuffed inside his shirt, but he hated trying to maneuver them into the holes in shirts made for demons with wings.

He spawned into hell naked. His suspenders/pants were stolen from a demon he found passed out in an alley because, despite being a cat, he felt uncomfortable naked.

Husk still feels uncomfortable completely naked

Despite being a hell cat, when he was alive, he wasn’t a cat person or a dog person. During his time living, Husk kept birds and often went bird watching when he was sober enough to enjoy it.The one upside Husk found to his new demon appearance was the avian aspects of it.

The one bird-like thing he cannot stand is the molting. He thought the fur was bad when he realized that he shed a little bit, but when he began to mold, he absolutely hated it.

His bowtie and hat are like a security blanket, he refuses to go anywhere or do anything without them. He refused to leave his room when Niffty accidently took his bowtie when getting his dirty laundry for laundry day.

On top of purring and shedding, Husk has a few other feline traits…. One of the ones Charlie tends to find the most adorable is the is the fact that he purrs and he can occasionally be caught napping in sunny spots

Something Charlie has yet to see is the fact that Husk does that little ‘making biscuits’ thing in his sleep when he’s really relaxed. It doesn’t happen often, but Angel has caught it on video once when he found Husk asleep while watching Fat Nuggets…. Husk doesn’t know about this yet.

[geminiartemis]

Theory time!

It's been confirmed that someone is going to die in Hazbin Hotel. Here are the clues:

- It's a major character. (Not sure if main cast or just someone relevant)

- It's not Angel Dust.

- It's going to be obvious.

Uh, I'm sorry, when is it going to become obvious? Because it's not obvious right now. I've seen people speculating on literally the entire cast by now, from Fat Nuggets to Charlie herself.

My initial theory had been Angel Dust, but not as a permanent death. I thought he would "die" as a demon and come back as an angel.

But since it's been confirmed that it isn't Angel Dust, it could be literally anyone until we get more clues... So I'll just take a wild guess. I have my top three candidates that - in my opinion - are the most likely to die.

[Quick reminder that my theories are always incorrect.]

Since it's supposed to be someone obvious, I'm going with what seems more cliche.

#1 - Carmilla

The fact that she's the one who killed that angel makes her a target for the Exorcists if they ever find out it was her. She's also been portrayed as sympathetic, and it's possible that she's a fallen angel herself. Maybe her death will be what finally makes Sera and other pro-Extermination angels realize that things are going too far when angels are killing each other. Her death would also be sad because she would be mourned by her two daughters and Zestial. Just a compelling character death overall, but not someone the fandom is attached to enough to riot over. lol

#2 - Lucifer

For similar reasons to Carmilla, but even more impactful and tragic, because he's the main character's dad and beloved by the fandom. It could be the final straw that gets Charlie to use her full power. Could also be fitting, as the story started with him and now ended with him.

(I'm so glad my theories are always wrong. I would be crushed if Lucifer died. lol)

#3 - Sera

Self-sacrificing to do the right thing for once and atone for authorizing the Extermination, blah blah blah. Maybe this is just wishful thinking because I don't really care for this character. :P

Bonus guess (main cast only) - Husk

If it must be someone from the main cast, my guess is Husk, but only because everyone else seems even more unlikely to me. Charlie is the main character, Vaggie is too close to the main character (as in, Chaggie is too iconic), Alastor is too popular and interesting to be killed off, Sir Pentious and Niffty are too much on the comic relief side to be compelling character deaths, and Husk would be interesting because of his connection with Angel Dust. But yeah, I'm not actually too sold on this myself. I don't see how the plot would benefit from his death, it'd just be yet another way to mentally torture Angel.

[qodlysinz]

Needs More Seasoning

Alastor - Hazbin Hotel

CW: blood, mentions of torn off limb, Alastor’s cannibalism 😭😭

Tags: pure crack, Lute’s torn off arm lmao

A/N: erm so I got this idea from a post on tiktok from a comment by someone saying “alastor would debate eating the arm” and I thought it was funny and was inspired to write this LMFAO let’s also ignore the fact that Al disappeared after the battle w the angels bc I couldnt find a logical way to implement him…

Angel Dust grunted as he pushed away the rubble, irritation and worry pricking at his mind as he searched for his beloved pig, Fat Nuggets. His jaw dropped at the sight of glowing angel blood oozing from a piece or cement, an arm crushed beneath it.

He backed away, yelping in disgust. “What the fuck?!” He exclaimed, kicking away as he had fallen back from surprise. Even in his days in the mafia had he been a bit put-off by things like this. Sure, he shot bitches and dumbasses who wronged his family, but a fucking limb?

“Angel? What’s—oh…” Charlie’s voice murmured, her nose scrunched up, slowly holding out her hand and reaching for his. “Vaggie, can you come here?” Charlie called out to her girlfriend. Vaggie walked over, wiping blood from her nose. “Uhhh…” the former exorcist hesitated.

“Whose arm is that?!” Angel pointed at it, “what is Fat Nuggets ate it? It’d upset his stomach!” He then remembered the pig, sighing in relief as Fat Nuggets ran to the sound of his voice and leaping into his lower set of arms. “It was Adam’s lieutenant’s. The psycho bitch must’ve pulled it off herself when the building fell on her.” Vaggie replied, “I’ll throw it off the side.” She added, poking it with her spear and holding it in front of her, nose wrinkled in annoyance.

Alastor appeared before the shorter, humming as he poked at the discarded arm. “Well, now! What’s this you have here?” He asked her, tilting his head to the side curiously. Vaggie groaned, “move it, Alastor! I need to throw this—thing out!”

“Haha! I’ll dispose of it if you wish, my dear.” He politely said, ignoring the blood dripping from his chest as he examined the arm closely. “Fine, whatever, I don’t want to… what are you doing?” She watched as Alastor plucked it from her spear, shifting the arm around and poking it with his free hand and sticking the finger to his tongue. “Oooh, tasty!” He enthusiastically sang. Charlie shuddered, “thank you… Alastor… I’ll go.. uh.. help my dad!” She quickly said, grabbing Vaggie’s hand and running away with her girlfriend, sparing a glance at the cannibalistic Radio Demon.

Angel stared at him, blinking at him weirdly. “You’re weird as shit, Al.” He mentioned, his eyes widening as his jaw dropped when Alastor bit into the arm. “Hmm, could use some seasoning. Do you have any recommendations?” Asked Alastor, wiping the golden blood from around his mouth with a handkerchief. Angel backed up, “yeah, don’t eat Fat Nuggets and use oregano, rosemary, sage, and garlic. I’m sure it’d… um.. satisfy your freakishness.” Mumbled the spider demon before rushing away, saying something about wanting to make sure his hidden drug stash (or sex toys, Alastor didn’t hear him very well) wasn’t destroyed, Alastor didn’t care and he continued to nibble on the arm.

[felice-jaganshi]

Strawberry Scented Love

Radiodust Strawberry Pimp AU

Chapter 7 - Courage and Cowardice

Angel tucked Alastor into his bed, smiling at his sleep form. He then realized what he was doing and shook his head, “Agh, stop that ya dummy…” Fat Nuggets then nuzzled his ankle. Angel smiled and scooped him up in his lower arms, “Not you, baby, you're fine. I'm the dummy.” He then went to the mirror and started to take off his make up.

“Come on Angel, he's a fuckin overlord. You already did this song and dance, no repeat performances!” He got up from his vanity and made his way to his doorway, “If there's a prize for rotten judgment, I guess I've already won that…” He shut his door, standing in the hall. “No man is worth the aggravation. It's ancient history, been there done that!”

Another voice came from his otherside, singing at him, “He'sss the earth and heaven to you!” It was Pentious! He and Nifty were flanking him as he tried to walk away.

Nifty popped out behind him suddenly, “Who ya think you're kidding!?” Angel yelped and jumped, holding Nugs even closer. “What th- Nif!”

“Try to keep it hidden, Angel we can see right through you! Boy you can't conceal it, we know how you're feeling, who you're thinking of.”

Angel growled and turned around, sweeping an arm dramatically. “NO CHANCE! No way! I won't say it no, no!” 

Pen put a hand on his shoulder, “You ssswoon, you sssigh, why deny it?”

He shoved Pen's hand off him, blushing, “It's too cliche! I won't say I'm in love!” He marched down the hall, and they both looked sad at each other before following him to the lobby. 

“I thought my heart had learned its lesson…” He looked at the bar where they'd been enjoying eachothers company just a bit ago. “It feels so good when ya start out.” Tears welled up in his eyes, “My head is screaming ‘Get a grip, man!’ unless you're dying to cry your heart out!”

 

Suddenly the front door was kicked open and a pissed looking Cherri marched in.

“You keep on denying who you are and how ya feelin’, but baby I'm not buyin’, hun I saw ya hit the ceiling!” She took both his shoulders in her hands, “Face it like a grown up, when ya gonna own up that ya got it bad?!”

He pushed her arms away, “Get off my case! I won't say it!” He looked angry, but she knew better, he was just scared.

“Ange, don't be proud, it's okay, you're in love…” She smiled softly and hugged him tight. He rest his chin on her shoulder as she dragged him down to her level.

“At least out loud… I won't say it.”

 ~~~~~~~~

After an hour, Alastor woke up with a sigh looking at his surroundings and taking everything in. Angel's room? Angel's bed… Alastor's clothes?! Ok, stupid question, Angel would never. Well, he could imagine Angel being curious what he looked like underneath everything… He made that curiosity abundantly clear when he first arrived at the hotel.

“Shadow.” The second he called, it appeared next to him. “Thank you for sedating me, I was running my mouth again. For all my chastising of you, it's ironic that I'm the one who almost blew the entire thing… We'll need to be extra careful now…” He took the picture of Angel out of his jacket again and kissed it softly. “I'll show you, Beloved… that you can trust me. That I can be patient till you're ready… That I truly love you.”

 ~~~~~~

Months went by without incident, Alastor slowly but surely earning Angel's affections and trust, to the point of occasional rough housing. Like today.

Angel had Alastor's larger and usual antlers in his upper arms, trying to hold Alastor back, laughing and using his lower arms to try and swat Alastor's hands away. “No! I'm winning this time, fucker!” 

Alastor chuckled, “You're lucky we agreed no magic this round or my tentacles would have you writhing on the ground.” His tone had a hunger in it that made Angel's grip falter and his face go red. Alastor took advantage of the shock, shrinking his antlers and surging forward, knocking Angel to the ground and pinning him. He cushioned Angel's head with his own hand before he began tickling his sides.

“Gah! Ch-cheat! Haha! Fuck!” He tried to tickle him back only for Al hold two wrists in each hand, pinning his legs with his own. 

“Oh, a cheat am I? Your extra limbs would make you a cheater too, but you don't hear me crying foul.” Suddenly Angel's third pair of arms came out, startling Alastor as they began tickling him, “A-ah! Now you are a cheat!” He laughed, and tried to think of a way to fight back, but it was too late! Angel flipped their positions and Alastor was at his mercy!

“Haha! No, Darling, Beloved! Please, have mercy! Release me, demon!” He tried everything he could think of, but Angel wasn't letting up.

“Nope, promise to buy me new earrings! And a watch!”

“H-how about- haha- dinner?!”

That made Angel pause and tilt his head, “Dinner where?” 

“There's that new branch of Ozzie's that just opened up here in the pride ring. I'd like to take you there.” He had his typical grin on, but his eyes were wide and sparkling, like he had something exciting planned.

“You buyin?” He raised an eyebrow. 

“Of course! I'm the one asking you out.” He let go of the arms on Angel's left side to place the hand instead on his waist, as he'd become comfortable doing lately. “It would only be polite.”

“Such a gentleman ta little ol’ me? Well, how could I say no.” He smiled and sat up before moving off of Alastor. “I just gotta cancel on a client then, I'll tell him my big boss needs me for an important business meeting .” He winked and gave Alastor a kissy face before pulling out his phone and typing away. He didn't see Alastor's tail flickering away excitedly…

 ~~~~~~~

Alastor dressed in a black suit with a burgundy undershirt and a matching tie, his hair was partially tied back in a ponytail. He waited for Angel at the entrance to the hotel. Charlie noticed and came over, “Wow Al! You look amazing! Why the new suit?”

“Ah, hello dear! Just waiting for Angel, I'm taking him out to that new fancy restaurant that opened up.” He smiled brightly the entire time he spoke, and Charlie couldn't help but gasp!

“Oh my god, on a date?!” Her eyes were sparkling, and he chuckled at her enthusiasm.

“Shh, it's a secret dear. He doesn't know it yet. I'm going to ask him to go steady with me tonight, you will wish me luck, won't you?”

She squealed, “Of course! Oh I hope he says yes! You two would be so cute together!” Alastor suddenly looked at the staircase, ears perking up. Charlie looked over to see what caught his attention. “Oh… wow.”

Angel was descending the stairs, dressed in a deep ruby suit. He made his way down to mee Alastor and smiled, “What, no flowers?” 

Alastor blushed, “Ah, I thought they'd be a bit too cliche. But I did get you a new set of earrings, like you asked for this morning. I know you were just playing, but I couldn't help but think of you when I saw them.” He opened a jewelry box and showed him a pair of ruby earrings that perfectly matched the suit. 

“Damn, Smiles… You really know how to treat a man…” He accepted the earrings and put them on. “How do I look?” He tilted his head to the side.

Alastor took one of his hands, “You don't know? Why, you're the epitome of beauty, my dear. A true Venus in Red this evening.”

Charlie gushed off to the side and Angel looked over, “Hey princess, what's up?”

“I've never seen you dress so masculine Angel! It looks nice.” She tried to hide the real reason for her gushing.

“Oh, yeah. I don't do it often. But I wanted to try something new today.” He smiled softly and took Al's arm, “Don't we make a cute pair?”

Charlie looked at the two fondly, “Yeah, you really do… I'm glad you found someone who treats you so well Angel, you deserve it.”

“Well, she should get going or we'll be late to our reservation.” Alastor spoke up quickly and dragged Angel outside, before Charlie could ruin the surprise.

 ~~~~~~

After the dinner, Alastor brought Angel to the roof of the hotel and played some slow music from his cane that he left off to the side, “Angel, will you dance with me?”

Angel took his hand and let himself be pulled into Alastor's embrace, “You really went all out for this, huh Smiles? Going through all the motions… you're a good friend, making a silly thing like me feel special for a night.” He smiled at Alastor with half lidded eyes. 

“You should feel special every night, Angel. Because you are.” He gave Angel the same look back, and it startled the spider.

“Y-you think so?” 

“Of course, I actually have another gift for you tonight that I hope will help you believe me… but first, I wish to ask you something important.” Alastor stopped dancing, and kneeled down before Angel, taking each of his lower hands into his own. He brought them both to his face and kissed the back of each of them once.

“A-al, what are you doing? If ya wanna ask me to sleep with ya, you don't gotta get so fancy.” Angel couldn't stop his voice from cracking, there's no way this was happening, this had to be a dream!

“Angel… I wish for you to be my Beau. My partner in all things. I love-” but before he could finish, Angel tore his hands away and took several steps backwards. His upper hands covering his mouth and his lower ones wrapping his waist. 

“St-stop, don't- don't say that. Please!”

Alastor's ears drooped and his smile faltered into a nervous line, “Angel, darling, what's wrong? Why are you… I thought…”

“What, you thought I'd be a sucker and make the same mistake twice? No, I'm sorry Al, but I'm not doing this. I can't- this is- you own my soul okay?! If shit goes south, I won't be able to leave you! I'll be trapped again.” He started sobbing and his knees were shaking. 

“But Angel, I‐” He felt his words turn bitter in his throat. “I see… I failed then. I couldn't convince you my feelings are real.” He stood and approached Angel, summoning a golden scroll into his hand. He firmly took one of Angel's hands from his mouth, horrified to see him crying. Ashamed it was because of himself. He placed the scroll in Angel's hands, and shut his fingers around it.

“Here is your present, mon amour… I give you your freedom.” He then let go of Angel and walked away, his Shadow frowning and wiping away a tear from the pink demon's cheek before following Alastor and the two melted into the darkness of the night.

[ravenwitch45]

What will happen if the Hazbin Hotel characters ever meet our beloved Hellboy?

Ah okay, I don't know Hellboy too well so I asked my lovely mother to enlighten me on the subject, she's most famliar with the two movies that came out a while back so I'll be going off of that version for this, and I'll be doing the main seven Hotel residents too.

I don't think Hellboy would be too interested in the hotel, it's a strange spot yes but he's mostly got his own business to handle most of the time, but curiosity gets the best of him so he stops by.

I feel him and Charlie would have a very awkward dynamic, he doesn't see a lot of good in the world, especially down here, meanwhile Charlie is hopeful despite the horrors she knows. He'd be nice to her, but he'd still be pretty sarcastic even if he decided to help her in anyway.

Also not sure how Hellboy would relate to the Vivzie's hell's hiearchy. He may be related to Charlie even but I don't know XP

Vaggie I feel he'd like a lot. At least her attitude. Very no nonsense and fiery, a lot like Liz. He respects her passion and fighting skills if they ever spar. He get's her a lot more then Charlie if he's being honest.

Not sure Hellboy's view on Spiders, but he'd probably not entertain Angel's advances in the slightest. He's already got someone and he ain't interested. If Angel stopped then I feel they'd have decent chats at the very least. Hell he'd probably also think Fat Nuggets is cute so theres something else to bond over.

He is INSTANTLY best buds with Husk. Both are very sarcastic and dry, with short tempers and could probably spend hours talking shit about stuff, and also Husk is a cat. And Hellboy LOVES cats, probably would wanna hug Husk a lot cause he's so fluffy which his friend is very confused about.

Alastor he does not trust one bit, most they'd probably get civilly is them trying to roast each other as they glare at each other, or fighting to prove dominance, Hellboy very much wanting to smack the smile off of Al's face, if they settle enough to at least talk they'd also talk shit about people.

He is honestly a little unnerved by Nifty, she moves so fast it scares him and he's half sure she's a larger tooth fairy waiting to pounce, and her wide smile does not help that idea, he keeps his gun ready to pull round her.

At first he doesn't trust Pentious in the slightest, he's dealt with enough crazy megalomaniacs to have his guard up, one even used clockwork machines so he's even more cautious, but upon realizing Pentious is pretty incompetent in actually being evil, he starts to tease him and both warm up to eachother, still playfully bickering at times. I also feel Pentious would get along really well with the steam guy from the second movie so theres that XP

Overall I feel the hotel would be an odd bag of dynamics for him, probably helping out if he can. And maybe introducing his friend group to the hotel crew eventually, I don't know what else but I like this idea.

I quite liked doing this, hadn't thought about Hellboy in a while so I liked doing this. Hope this was good!

[deadsquirrelaftermidnight]

Indulge Me.

[asdeadasasquirrel]

More of fat!Alastor because I can, and no one can stop me

[ginstermoff]

hello! hazbin hotel, the witcher & toh for the ask game :)

Ooooh boi here we goooo!! *^*

HAZBIN HOTEL

​blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)​​ Angel Dust. My son, my baby, my darling, my fellow trauma endurer I love him so much I love HIM SO MUCH 😭😭😭🩷🩷🩷

​scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped) FAT. NUGGETS. Yes he is a character and I want to squeeze him like the football.

​scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave) Honestly Husk. I feel like with Alastor, Lucifer and Angel he kinda gets shoved in the corner. My mans has layers and he needs to be hugged by Angel.

​glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week) Zestial. You can't give him Ozzie's VA and expect me not to fall for him.

​poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave) Adam. Toxic masculinity incarnate, but he's SUCH a fucking Kylechadkevindude I just have to respect him for that. He watches Nick Colletti vines for self-care.

​horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason) Alastor. Charismatic opportunist who already has endured so much. I can break him. Watch me.

​eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell) Sera.

THE WITCHER

​Blorbo: Dijkstra. Oh to love a morally corrupt huge ginormous well-endowed boar of a man that could order me dead. <3

​Scrunkly: Gaetan. *slaps the bald head*

​Scrimblo bimblo: Ciri. Which is kind of ironic, because the Saga wouldn't exist without her. I get people being horny for gruffy huffy guys in armor, but come on, fandom.

Glup shitto: Nivellen I love you.

Poor little meow meow: Lambert. Trauma in a leather jacket.

Horse Plinko: Emhyr.

Eeby Deeby: Can I say Emhyr again?^^"

THE OWL HOUSE

Blorbo: Eda. I relate to her on a spiritual level. Also disability rep my beloved.

Scrunkly: HOOTY. He is so adorable and baby. My sweet sweet Worm demon.

Scrimblo Bimblo: I wanna say The Collector? At first I hated him because he was annoying to me, but the Special absolutely Sold him. My childe.

Glup Shitto: Him. Iykyk.

Poor little meow meow: Hunter. Trauma my beloved.

Horse Plinko: Odalia Blight.

Eeby Deeby: Belos.

[princess-hope-selfships]

☕ Chapter Two: Spill the Deets ☕

Summary: Angel Dust and Dazzler go out for late night coffee, and Angel confronts Dazzler about the feelings she has for a certain someone.

Word Count: 2960

Tags: self insert x canon, oc x canon, yet another Alastor selfshipper, aroace self insert, Angel is a cheeky but very caring platonic f/o and I love him so much, Angel is BPD, nugget piggy my beloved, unrequited love OR IS IT, (Farquaad point meme) the gray aro has fallen in love with the other gray aro!

A/N: I love Angel Dust so much 😭😭😭 He is so fun to write! I loved writing my s/i interacting with him, like I wanna be his friend so bad. He's def bpd in my headcanon <3 Anywho it was crazy rereading this one, I've improved so much since this chapter 😂 ALSO I WRITE TAGS SPECIFICALLY WEIRDLY SO NOBODY FUCKING FINDS ME I DO NOT WANT TO BREACH CONTAINMENT SORRY FOR MY WEIRD TAGS LMAO

taglist: @goldenworldsabound and uh that's it!! if you wanna be added to my fic taglist just let me know 💖

“Yeah, large chai tea latte, iced, extra sugar,” Dazzler ordered, pulling out her wallet. The barista nodded, Dazzler paid, and she stepped aside to wait with Angel Dust. Angel was tapping away on his phone with two hands, and using a third to pat Fat Nuggets on the head. The little hellpig had his whole head sticking out of Angel’s purse, sniffing eagerly at the biscotti Angel held in his remaining hand, just out of the pig’s reach.

“Awww, lil Nuggie, you’re so cuuute,” Dazzler cooed, leaning in towards the pig. She reached up to scratch his chubby little cheek, and the pig grunted happily as he leaned in to her touch.

“He’s been suuuch a lil baby today,” Angel sighed, looking down at Nuggets, mocking an expression of disappointment. “Did you hear him whining when I told him no biscotti?”

“How could I not? He was sooo upset,” Dazzler giggled, tugging her purse’s strap over her shoulder. “So spoiled! You still got your little numnums, though, huh?”

“I can’t say no to my little fatty boy,” Angel cooed, reaching down to pinch the pig’s cheek. Angel tucked his phone in a side pocket of his purse as he stepped forward to grab the drink he’d ordered, freshly set out by the barista. “Listen, I’m gonna stake out a spot and give the little oinker his treat before he breaks outta purse prison.” 

Dazzler smiled bright up at Angel, watching as he walked away. She glanced over at the counter, watching the workers for a moment before she turned towards the little trinkets on the wall beside her. There was quite an array of little crafted goods for sale here, as there always were. Hell was so weird. Sure, the people down here were damned to an eternal life of suffering, but at least they had time to make cute jewelry and keychains and coffee shops and damn good caffeinated drinks. 

“Dazzler,” one of the workers called, placing her drink on the counter. Her ears perked upright, twitching as she pranced over to the counter and grabbed it up. 

“Thank yoooou~!” She sang out, offering the worker a big smile and a cheeky wink, delighting in seeing how it made them visibly flustered. She yoinked up a straw and stuck it into her drink as she turned and wandered further into the shop, a smirk on her lips. Always an ego boost to make some rando swoon.

After a few moments of concerned searching and worrying Angel ditched her for some reason, she finally spotted him in a secluded corner of the shop, at a booth made of comfy cushions and decked with pillows.

She took a sip of her drink as she approached. Angel was unpacking Nuggets from his purse, trying to hold the biscotti away as the pig attempted to chomp at it. 

“C’mon, Nuggie, let me at least unwrap it,” Angel laughed as he struggled to keep the pig at bay. Dazzler scooched into her spot across the table from Angel.

“He’s relentless!” She giggled, watching Angel finally freeing the treat from its wrapping. He dangled it above the pig for a moment, before letting it drop, and giggled as he watched him catch it in his mouth.

“Such a good lil boy,” Angel cooed, patting Nuggets on the head, before grabbing up his drink from the table. Dazzler did the same, closing her eyes contentedly as she took in a long sip through her straw. 

When her eyes fluttered back open, she jumped, the first thing she saw being Angel Dust staring at her with an expectant look. 

“Uh…” Dazzler was dumbstruck for a moment. She regained her composure, eyeing him with a cheeky expression. “Yes, can I help you?” 

“Spill.” 

“Huh?” Dazzler glanced down at the table, and then at her clothes. Did she spill her drink without realizing? She patted down her front, not finding any wet spots.

“No, no, spill the deets,” Angel added, lifting his drink to his mouth. He took a sip as his eyes kept on Dazzler, who was glancing up at him in confusion.

“About what, you vague bitch?” She let out a nervous laugh before beginning to take another drink, in an attempt to mask how the lack of clarity was making her anxious.

“About Alastor.” 

Dazzler nearly choked, snorting out louder than she would have liked as she started coughing. She slapped her drink onto the table and turned to cough into her arm, trying not to be too loud. Angel’s lips spread into a wicked, knowing grin.

With a hand to her chest, she cleared her throat harshly, but as quietly as she could, shooting a glare up to Angel.

“What- what the fuck-” she stopped to cough, and straightened herself. “What are you talking about?” Her voice was hushed and frantic, as she looked around at the rest of the coffee house. 

“Chill out, nobody’s over here,” Angel said coolly, leaning back in his seat and patting Nuggets on the head. “That’s half of why I picked this spot. Like, for Nuggie to be comfy, obviously, but also so we can have a lil privacy, so you can tell me what is goin’ on with you and Al.” 

Dazzler lifted her hands, gesturing in bewilderment as she looked desperately for any words that would let her take control of the conversation. 

“There’s nothing going on with me and Alastor?” She replied lamely. 

Not a good enough answer, she knew, even before Angel leaned in and doubled down.

“Oh really? Ya sure, homeslice?” 

Dazzler froze, save for pinning back her ears. Her eyes were wide and staring at Angel’s stupid smug face. 

“Yeah, I saw ya, when Charlie and Al were talkin’ to you in the hall,” he teased, plopping his elbow on the table, his hand pointing at her just inches from her face. He poked at her nose a couple times as he continued. “I had to run back upstairs to grab somethin’ for Nuggets, and when I got back out in the hall, you were standin’ there like a… deer in headlights.” 

“Oh my god, shut the hell up,” Dazzler groaned. The deer in headlights bit was so overdone, Angel never passed up an opportunity to make that joke. Angel let out a big laugh, leaning back with his hands over his stomach. 

He brought his top pair of arms behind his head, crossing one leg over the other as he grinned at the doe. “I saw how ya locked up and got all goofy when he smiled at you! And you do that every time he does, don’t think I haven’t noticed. So spill it.” 

Dazzler sat there in silence for a moment, her brow furrowed and her tail fluff thoroughly puffed out in stress. She leaned forward on the table, elbows on the surface and her hands on her temples. 

“Okay,” she sighed, not meeting Angel’s gaze. Slowly she lifted herself upright, drawing her ears forward in a neutral position and grabbing her drink in her hands. She still refused to look up at Angel Dust, who was stirring his drink with his straw as he stared at her. His expression softened a bit, knowing that if he was too pushy she’d shut down.

Dazzler slowly pressed her cheek to one hand, allowing the other arm to fall onto the table. She looked a pathetic little mess, like a lost animal who wasn’t sure what to think. 

“...I have a crush on him.” Her eyes never lifted, and she made no indication that she had more to say than that.

“I mean, yeah,” Angel scoffed, frustrated with such a simple answer. “That’s obvious. To me at least. I bet he has no idea.”

“Fuck, I hope not,” she whined, leaning back and covering her face with her hands, her ears drooping back. She shook her head, groaning in exasperation. “I get little insignificant crushes on everyone, all the time, so I’m not too bothered by it, okay?” 

“Ya sure about that?” 

“I’m certain,” Dazzler said, attempting to make it sound final. But Angel didn’t miss how her voice faltered. She could feel his stare, and that he was waiting for her to continue. 

Her eyes finally met with his, and she was a bit surprised to see such an encouraging and sympathetic expression. Lifting a hand to rub at her arm, she averted her eyes again.

“Are you sure about that?” Angel repeated, with more sincerity. 

Dazzler hazarded another glance at him, his tilted head, his supportive smile. Her ears dropped back, the fluffy fur upon them starting to bristle, fearing what her truthful answer would be, and fearing that she might actually give it to him.

“...I don’t know,” she whined, a pathetic little bleat, with eyes so big that she looked and sounded much like a fawn left to fend for itself in the tall grass.

Angel noted that her eyes were growing wet, and he reached into his purse to quickly retrieve some tissues, sliding a little packet across the table to her. She took them, opening them up as she laughed awkwardly through her sniffling. 

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” she managed to say, dabbing at her eyes in a vain attempt to ensure her makeup would stay in place. 

It wouldn’t. 

The tears wouldn’t stop, she knew, every emotion in her flipped the switch to turn on the waterworks, and she knew there was little she could do to stop it.

“Like I dunno, I really do get fake little crushes on randos, like. Anyone who’s nice to me or compliments me I fall in ‘love’ with. Borderline shit.” 

“I get you,” Angel nodded, “trust me, I know exactly what you’re talkin’ about.”

“Yeah, we’ve talked about this before,” Dazzler replied with a little laugh and a sniffle.

“You wanna talk about how Al makes you feel?” Angel was soft, but encouraging, and admittedly deathly curious, but he knew where the boundaries were. He wanted to let her cry, aware of the fact that she did so so easily. He watched her, at first gingerly dabbing at her eyes, before giving up when her tears came out heavier, and just rubbing her makeup right off with a clean tissue. 

“Alastor just,” Dazzler started, immediately pausing as she realized she spoke without even knowing what she was going to say. She thought for a moment. “Like clearly I had a little thing for him just ‘cause he’s handsome and charismatic. Solely aesthetic attraction. But like, he’s… been really sweet to me since I started working at the hotel, I can’t tell if he’s just being a good boss or like? Maybe he’s into me a little??” 

Angel’s little smirk was coming back in full force as he watched her, idly stirring his drink.

“I think I’m actually like… forming a romantic attraction towards him,” Dazzler said finally, her voice soft as she lifted her hands up in a defeated gesture, brow furrowed and lips twisted into a confused smile and laugh. 

Angel’s brows lifted, but he said nothing. Instead he took Fat Nuggets up in his hands, holding him over the table towards Dazzler. “Ya wanna pet the pig?” His voice was so genuine now, though his smirk remained on his lips.

“I wanna pet the piiiiig,” she whined, starting to sob a little as she reached out to take Nuggets in her hands. She had such a sad smile on her lips as she pulled the little pig up to her chest, holding him close. Nuggets was sleepy after his snack, and thus was more than happy to return the snuggly gesture with a nudge into her chin.

Dazzler’s sobs were quiet, dotted with little awkward laughs at herself and all wept out through sad smiles. 

“I’m so stupid,” she mumbled. “Like, I’m 99% sure he’s not into dating or whatever. He’s not into me. I always fall genuinely for people who won’t fucking like me back.”

“I fuckin’ know it,” Angel said with a nod, all too familiar with her experiences, having had them himself. “We’re a couple of fucked up crazies, you know that?” 

“Fuckin’ borderline,” Dazzler laughed out, reaching up to rub her eye.

“Fuckin’ borderline,” Angel repeated, lifting his plastic cup, which Dazzler responded to by lifting her own and ‘clinking’ it against his.

They sat in silence for a bit. Angel wanted to let her have a few quiet moments to cry it out. He didn’t want to fluster her further or make her cry harder by pushing her to talk more.

Before long Nuggets was set down beside her, and she used both her hands to rub her eyes, with soft sniffles and nervous laughs. 

“Sorry,” she said quickly, and Angel immediately waved his hand at her dismissingly. 

“Don’t you even worry about it,” he reassured, reaching across to pat her arm. “Ya wanna know what I think?” 

Dazzler nodded, lowering her hands as she peeked up at her friend.

“I think ya gotta chill out.” He said it so plainly, Dazzler couldn’t help but laugh. “Seriously like you are goin’ nuts. Wishin’ that Vox would come crawling back to you, of all things, guy’s a fuckin’ joke and you don’t deserve him.”

It left Dazzler feeling a certain warmth in her heart, hearing him say stuff like that. She felt such camaraderie with Angel Dust, knowing he came from a place of experience, and knew exactly the kind of crazy rollercoaster her mind had become.

“You’re right,” Dazzler finally replied, voice soft, almost afraid to admit it. This sort of toxic reliance on someone else (like Vox) for gratification and validation was a common occurrence for her, one she was trying to put a stop to. 

Removed from her usual scene, her usual part of the city she liked to roam, she was desperately missing her old outlets for her big emotions. No partying, no clubbing, no having sex with any stranger that praised her enough, no sneaky sex in Vox’s office. 

Just the hotel, and her stream, where she only got crumbs of gratification by losers who tipped her cash just to see her take her shirt off. 

“And I think that Alastor could have a thing for you,” Angel continued. Dazzler sighed, shaking her head to immediately deny the notion, to which Angel started waving his hand at her frantically. “No, I’m serious, shut the fuck up for two seconds!”

“What makes you even think that?” The doubt in her voice was palpable.

“Listen, ever since I started suspectin’ that you’re into him, I’ve been paying real close attention to both of ya.” He leaned in close, his voice hushed. “He’s defs into you.”

“You’re nuts.” 

“I seen it,” Angel insisted, “I’ve heard it, when he talks about ya he sounds excited. He asks about you when you come up in conversation, like he wants to know more about ya. The gossip goes around, Husky told me sometimes he mentions you outta nowhere.”

“Sh-shut up, he does not??” Dazzler was actively turning away from him, a nervous laugh in her dismissive words. “The fuck are you talking about? He’s probably trying to get info on me to fucking buy my soul off me or some shit.” 

“I think you got a chance, babe.”

“Angel, I’m gonna kill you right here in this coffee shop.” 

A beat of silence passed.

“Aaaaand,” Angel began again. Dazzler lifted her gaze to him, her ears flicking forward in curiosity. “I think you should totally come on to Alastor during your performance review.” 

Dazzler couldn’t hold back the burst of laughter she had in response to this.

“No fucking way,” she just barely got out, holding her hands up. “There’s no fucking way I’m doing that.” 

“C’mon, it’d be so hot,” Angel snickered, reaching out to slap at her playfully. “‘Aww, dang, boss, what ever can I do to improve my performance?’ How’s he gonna react to that other than fuckin’ ya on his desk.” 

“I literally cannot deal with you right now,” Dazzler fired back, attempting to suppress her giggles as best she could. “Getting my hopes up, playing with my emotions and shit… you’re a cruel motherfucker, Angel Dust.”

They shared in laughter for a few moments, bickering for a little while longer, before Angel reached out to grab her hands, looking her dead in the eyes. It took her by surprise, after what she believed to be a lighthearted end to his teasing.

“I’m serious though Dazz,” he said, with a voice so genuine that Dazzler was left unsure if his teasing earlier was even teasing after all. “I think you might have a chance. Like. I dunno for sure. But I do know you ain’t gonna get over him, unless you do somethin’ about it."

With wide eyes and slightly parted lips, she stared up at him, stunned speechless by the sincerity in his demeanor. 

“Just think about it, for like, a week or somethin’,” Angel said with an air of finality, a warm smile on his lips. 

“O…Okay… yeah,” Dazzler finally replied, nodding softly. “You’re right. Yeah… This thing isn’t just gonna go away and I should… stop being a fucking psycho about it.”

“It’s okay. I’m only tellin’ ya all this ‘cause I get it. Like on a deep level, so deep that it’s kinda embarrassing to admit.”

“Yeah…” Dazzler mumbled. Before long she smirked, regaining her composure relatively well as she smirked up at him. “You’re right, you’re a fuckin’ crazy bitch.”

“Fuckin’ borderline,” Angel mused, reaching up to pat Dazzler on the head. She let out an amused snort, her ears folding back with each pat.

“Fuckin’ borderline,” she agreed.

[radiomurdeer]

@xxx-angeldust-xxx continued from (X) "It's cause of Fat Nuggets isn't it? That's not fair!" Looking at Alastor there was no reason at all the tall twink should be pouting at the other man, but there was a pout all the same. "Look, just cause people are all dogs this and dogs that, doesn't mean that my pig isn't just as valid a pet! He deserves walkies as well." Holding Nuggets up, Angel Dust gave his beloved pet a hug. "How can you say no to that? And he's not bacon." Shoulders slumping a touch, he regarded Alastor. "Please? I just... I don't feel like staying inside" Didn't feel like being alone rather.

Breathe in, breathe out. Remember to blink. it's a whole complicated set of bodily functions for someone that hadn't needed them for quite some time.

"Well, when you put up such a compelling argument, who am I to decline?" he said; the truth was that he couldn't exactly say no. He was supposed to be living as a human, and humans did mundane things like walk their pets. Humans were also quite social, and he had no real reason to decline. "I was just going to get some fresh air, some company wouldn't go amiss." It's late enough Angel Dust should probably be accompanied if he was going to go out anyway, humans were so soft and blind in the dark. Alastor held the door open for his roommate, making an after you gesture.