#fast times at ridgemont high? TO DIE FOR???

[priestfrommidnightmass]

someone recently posted a list of all the movies riverdale episodes are named after and now i cannot stop thinking about how episode ONE. very first number ONE was named after rivers edge like. that is such a superbowl for my brain and now i want to rewatch and pick apart who’s supposed to be who. who is supposed to be the keanu reeves? the ione skye? more importantly, the crispin glover?

[mrsmnsn]

My valentine

Summary: You and your best friend found a way to get away from all the valentine’s day by doing your own program. But, being alone for a long time only meant you two were horny and needy for affection.

wc: 3.3k (i got a little excited writing it, sorry)

warnings: friends to lovers; smut!!! +18 please (you’re responsible for yourself babe, but i warned you); fluff; masturbation (m!reciving); inexperienced!femreader. Tell if something is missing.

authors note: I know i’m a little late with valentines thing but i couldn’t help myself. I really liked the result and i hope you do too. It’s a new thing writing smutty things but i hope it’s not terrible. <3

*update*- i just posted a part two!

**********

It was valentine’s day and you felt like you were the loneliest person in the world. Everyone was with their partners when you were all by yourself. Of course you were being dramatic but you were tired of having to pretend that it was okay to be single because you don’t needed a boy to make you happy. But you wanted to.

The same thing happened to your best friend. Eddie was all by himself. He was never the guy the girls would die for. They were too scared to see how pretty he was. But he also had been feeling kind of alone. He would walk in the market and see all the decorations he hated so much. Not only in school, everywhere, people would be all over each other. He always hated valentine’s day but he never knew that was because of his jealousy and would always blame in the capitalism and its ways to persuade people.

As you both would be alone, to distract you from thinking about couples making out, you created your own thing. You would go at each other’s house to watch movies together, eat junk food and talk about stuff. For two years you’ve been doing this and this year was your time being a host. At this time, you got lucky your parents weren’t home for the week. In the first year, you brought Eddie home and your mom kept asking non stop questions about him and how did you finally realized you were made for each other.

“You’re late.” You opened the door for him, taking the boxes off his hands.

“I’m sorry my lady, is my butler work not good enough for you?” He said in a english accent mocking you. “There was a lot of people ordering pizzas too. They copied our idea.”

“Fine. I just took the cookies out of the oven.” You pointed to the baking sheet “What movies did you pick?”

“Well, let’s see.There is the movie you asked for with the cats”

“Did you take the right one? Or just some movie about a cat?”

“Is the Disney one, right? The Aristocats? I got this one, nightmare on elm street and fast times at ridgemont high.” Eddie only took this last one because Steve said ’there’s some very interesting scenes about a girl, if you know what i mean’. Of course Eddie knew the girl’s titties would show up, he’d never watched it because he thought it would be a shitty movie. “If i want to see boobs i’ll just watch porn or i’ll buy a magazine” he would say. But he really thought about it and that would be the only way to make you watch something like that with him.

Once he asked if girls watched porn and you just ignored the question. He wanted to see your reaction and he knew you would never watch something like that, let alone with a guy. It would be the closest thing to porn you’d watch.

Also it was a secret to no one that he had a little massive crush on you. Maybe it was a secret only for you. Eddie don’t even know when did it started. One day you were just a girl who he was friends with but suddenly you were much more then that. You were hot, interesting, cute, smart and he couldn’t help but be enamored with you. But he never did anything to change that, to afraid of making you run away from him. To him, in that situation, your relationship as friends was more important. He wouldn’t stand to lose you. So he buried his feelings deep down and pretended it that never happened.

“Eddie it’s not Halloween. We’re not watching that, you know i can’t sleep afterwards.”

“Alright, no horror movies” He discarded the movie

“So is gonna be aristocats and this other movie. Is this even good? I never saw it.” Of course you saw it. Since Dustin told you guys his girlfriend was a hotter version of Phoebe Cates you had to. You scolded him after.

“It was on the recommendation board so we’ll have to trust in that”

********

Eddie had never seen the Disney movie before. It was for kids but you always loved it since you were a little kid. And if you loved, he’d watch it for you (he would not admit but he loved it too). There you were in the second movie. You had seen it two years ago so you were focused on the movie. But with that, you forgot about the boobs

“Oh…” Your cheeks got red. Seeing that by yourself was ok. But right by Eddie’s side, you got embarrassed and tried not to look at the tv in front of you. In the meantime, he was looking at you to see your reaction.

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t know that would happen” He said trying to sound like he was surprised

“Don’t worry, i see this every day.”

Eddie didn’t payed attention in the movie anymore. Were you talking about porn?

When the movie ended you went to bed and Eddie came with you. Being friends for a long time made you so accustomed to be around each other that now you would insist that he would sleep with you in your bed and not on the couch.

He would not sleep if he kept the question to himself. He had to ask.

“Good night Eds. Thanks for today. It was really nice!”

“Sure sweetheart, i had a good time too!”

And the place got quiet. It was now or never.

“Hey… can i ask you something?”

You just hummed

“Well… Earlier, when we were watching the movie you said that you would see it everyday when we saw the girl’s titties. With that do you… you know, d’ya mean you see boobs everyday in like, porn?”

“What? Why would you say that?” You said looking at his face even though the room was dark

“I don’t know why it just came in my head like, come on!”

“Eddie… i’m a girl. I see them everyday because i have them. Just like every woman. Go sleep, will ya.”

Eddie don’t know if that make it better or worse. Not that he didn’t know you had boobs. Of course you had. But now, you had boobs, you’d watch them and everything came to Eddie as a movie. Or as a dream in witch it really did. Right by your side, in your bed, in your house. Eddie had a wet dream about you. I wasn’t the first time. But it was in you house, close to you. Till then, he was sleeping and his mind was working on making him hard by the images of you touching your boobs while you were fucked by him.

You had woken up first, not realizing his morning wood, you went to the bathroom, then to the kitchen to take a glass of water and came back. But now he’d moved and, in his sweatpants, his “situation” was pretty obvious.

That scared the shit out of you. What would you do? Should you go back to sleep? Or try to pretend you never saw it. You weren’t a boy, but that seemed to be very uncomfortable. Suddenly you got hot. Seeing his dick poking out in his pants, his bare torso shown by his shirt that was lifted up. His wild hair that framed his face. Of course you knew you had feelings for Eddie, but you never did anything to let him know. It was a secret only for you and you only. You couldn’t do anything about your best friend. Even if he had a boner and got you all worked up.

He started to move around and to wake up when he saw you sitting on the bed and looking at the ceiling. Before saying anything he felt it. “Holy fuck!” that’s what he thought. He started to panic. Did you saw it. Would he be fast enough to run to the bathroom and try to work on it. “No, you shithead, you can’t jerk in her bathroom”

You realize his movements and looked at him. You knew that he knew you knew. Now the blanket were covering him.

“Mornin” He said casually and you nodded you head, trying not to lend your eyes on his cock to see if you could still see his bulge. “You saw it, right?”

“Saw what? I-I just woke up!” You said a little to fast “I mean, i barely opened my eyes and- yeah, i saw it.” you stopped when you saw his expressions getting amused. If you already saw it, there wasn’t a reason to be concerned anymore.

“Don’t worry, that happens sometimes” he said as if he didn’t have any dreams. It was just normal

“What? Out of nowhere?”

“Yeah, sort of…” He said remembering you in his dream and resisting the urge to touch his cock

“Can’t you like, turn it off or something”

He laughed at you face. You were getting more and more uncomfortable and in the same time, a bit horny. “It’s not like the tv we watched last night. You can’t turn it off.”

“But…” You saw his face. He was looking at you “I don’t get it”

“Well, i don’t know how to explain it” He tried to sound confident about it “It’s like when your nipples get hard when you women get cold. It not a thing you control” That part was true. He couldn’t control his dick or his mind so he wouldn’t find you attractive.

“But it seems to be painful” You said looking at him getting up.

“It is a little. I’ll go to the bathroom to try to ‘turn it off’” He said giggling

“Wait Eddie!” He turned to you and now you could see how big he was. Even with his pants, it was visible. “You don’t have to do it by yourself. Can i do something? Like, can i help you?”

Eddie froze in place. He would go take a cold shower and have thoughts about random things that wasn’t you. He was not going to masturbate in there. Was he still dreaming?

“Sorry! Oh i’m so so sorry. I don’t know what i was thinking about” You regret when you saw how his face got to serious.

“No no no. Don’t be sorry. I’m just surprised, that’s all.” He sat again looking at you cover your face “I mean, we’re friends. Last time i checked, friends don’t usually give a handy to other friends.”

“I’m so fucking stupid and embarrassingly alone that i let this stupid date get in my mind. I don’t know…”

“Were you willing to do it? For real?” He was really curious to know if you would jerk him off. That had to mean something, right?

“I’m sorry, it’s fucking crazy!” Hugging your knees, you looked at him and forced your arms to open

“Come on, don’t be so harsh. Were you?”

You nodded to scared of his reactions to your horny attitudes

“I thought you were virgin and said you were inexperienced in everything”

“It can’t be that hard” You whispered and looked at his eyes. Those pleading eyes that were begging to go back in time but were just reassuring Eddie that the shower would not ‘turn it off’ anymore.

“What if i said i wanted you to do it, huh? Would that be to weird?”

Now it was your turn to be shocked. Now he was asking you to do it. Was it to weird? Maybe a little, but only because you never did it before and because it was your best friend.

“I don’t know Eddie… I think you just as crazy as me” He laughed at that

“I might be a little. But it’s a good thing” You were feeling more comfortable now. It was your Eddie again and not some guy you had a crush on. “I know what you’re thinking. But, don’t you think i never wondered how would it be to kiss you? You are the most amazing friend i could have and with that comes this feeling too. But i don’t want to lose you. You’re to important for me”

“You too. Honestly i’d be lost without you. But i also wonder how would it be, you know…”

You kept looking at him and he did the same. You were making sure that it was the right thing to do. The he closed the gap between you two. Bodies bonding and connecting to each other. Your lips were so soft. Eddie was sure he was in his dream now. His hands that before was holding your face, now went to your back, caressing your waist. And your hands ran from his shoulders to his hair, tugging some locks of it and making him groan.

Things heated up and he pulled you to his lap. His bulge was now touching your crotch. With his hands on your waist, he took advantage of that and encouraged you to move back and forth making you feel so good. The friction was perfect. His lips were perfect. The way he was kissing you like he waited his whole life for it. Separating to breathe, you leaned on him, your foreheads touching, but your movements continued slightly.

“For a very inexperienced girl, you’re a hell of a kisser. Damn, are you sure you’re telling the truth?” He said panting with his eyes closed and his lips curled to a smile. You smiled back

“Yeah, i assure you. Don’t make me feel like i’m too good though. I’m gonna get too cocky.”

“Tell that to him” He pressed you down on him and, once again, you felt his hard dick. ‘How can it be so hard?’ you thought

“Can i take of your pants?” you asked a little scared

“Sure thing, sweetheart” He was smiley. He helped you to take it off and wow. You were a little shocked. It was big. You thought about it for a second and you honestly thought he was not average.

“Can i say something too?” He nodded while he pulled you back to him. “I don’t know what you’re thinking right now but i just wanted to tell you so you don’t have any expectations. I don’t even know if you have any-” You were talking super fast, Eddie had to shut you up with a kiss. “Sorry. I was saying that, i think i still need some time, you know, if you want to have actual sex.”

“It’s alright. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to here”

“But i really wanted to do this. To help you here.” You said running your hand from his chest to his lower belly and his cock twitched. You wasn’t expecting that to happen “Is this normal” He nodded and giggled

“Are you sure you want to do it? You know, i’m not proud to say it, but have jerked off before. Plenty of times actually. If you’re not comfortable doing it, it’s not a problem for me to do it by myself.” It was melting your heart in the way he was talking to you. Caring about you.

“Yes i am! I’m just… insecure about it. I don’t know how to-.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll show you how, alright?” It was you time to nod you head. “A’right then. First thing, we need it to be wet, so you’ll have to spit on you hand.”

You hesitated but gathered a good amount of saliva on your mouth and spited on your hand.

“That’s right. Very good. Now you can wrap your hand around it” You just didn’t know where to. Was he talking about the tip or the base. You went for the tip.

Groaning low, he cleared his throat “Good girl. Now you can just make some circles around the tip and then go down.” You did what you were told to and that seemed to work. Your foreheads, that were glued to this time, separated a little before he came back. Both of you looking at your hand moving around his red tip leaking pre cum.

“Is that normal?”

“It means it’s fucking good” Even his voice changed. It was getting rougher and lower.

“Can you guide me a little. I’m scared i’ll squeeze you too hard” you said and his hand wrapped around yours.

“Don’t be afraid. It’s better when is tight. I’ll let you know if it’s to much” He let you do it by yourself when you got the right rhythm and grip.

Your hand were moving tightly up and down. You didn’t know if it was there before, you didn’t notice because you were to focus, but his hands were squeezing your tights hard. You could feel your panties getting soaked. How come you were excited by jerking him off.

More of the liquid you saw before came out and you ran your thumb over it. He let out a moan that rambled inside you body.

“Can you, please, go a little faster than that” And that’s what you did. The moan you heard was the first of many others that came along. You had gathered, again, more saliva and thought that it would be nice to be even wetter than it was. So you separated a little from him, looking at his confused eyes trying to read you. You separated enough to bend down and to spit on it again, looking at his eyes roll back, throwing his head back. You came back to your position, proud that you did something good without him telling you.

Your movements got faster than before and he, restless panting, kissed you. You wanted to make him cum hard. So you separated the kiss, kept up the speed, flashing him your boobs. That was the final push for Eddie.

The way he grabbed you and moan at your ear was insanely hot. You watched ropes of cum come of his dick. Your hand were now with white and sticky cum.

“Holy fucking shit!” He panted for the last time and let go of his grip on you. “Are you really sure you’re inexperienced?”

“I might’ve heard some advice about it from some friends” You said getting out of his lap, but he stopped you

“Where are you going?”

“I’ve been up here for a while, i don’t want to hurt your legs. Besides, my hand is a little dirty.” He laughed a little

“Let’s clean up and come back here then.”

That’s what you did. When you came back, he pulled you to his chest and you started to talk.

“You know, i got hard because i had a wet dream about you. Probably because of the movie. But you were in a bikini like hers and, well… you know the rest.”

“Really? What a perv.” You laughed together. You couldn’t be more happy to let this felling out of your chest. You didn’t know for how long you could keep that from him.

“What i mean is that, i really hope you don’t think that i’m doing this just because i was hard and you were there to help. I like you, not in a friend way and, if you let me, i would like to make you my girlfriend one day, if you want. For real. Take you out to dates, stay together doing whatever the shit we’ll want, give you things that i know you will love. This kinda shit.”

“If you want to, i would love to be your girlfriend. And all of the things you mentioned. Well… you know, you already do all of that. The sex is new though.”

He laughed and kissed you passionately

“Great. Now, you’ll get see how much fun we’re gonna have” You spent the rest of your valentine’s day like this. Laughing and kissing each other.

[aphroditesblues]

my uncle once recommended i watch fast times at ridgemont high. i wanted everyone in it to die and only managed about ten minutes into the thing

[just-about-nothing]

fast times at ridgemont high >>>>>>>> ferris buller and i will DIE on this hill

[hawkinshell-fire]

Looking at You

SUMMARY

Max's somewhat estranged sister moves to Hawkins after hearing from Max everything that's been going on with their mom. She only plans on helping her sister. She never expected to hate and love someone so much. **Disclaimer in some parts I do use some direct quotes from the episode one script.**

WORD COUNT:

1703

Chapter Three: Edward Munson

Dustin runs through the doors and goes to counter.

"Steve how many phones do you have?" Dustin ask the guy behind the counter he has short brown hair that looks like he takes all day to style, beside him is a short haired girl.

"Dude someone was murdered what are you doing out?" He asks Dustin.

"How many phones do you have!" He shouts.

"Uhm two," He says.

"Three if you count the one in the office," The short haired girl asks. At that Dustin and Max are climbing over the counter.

Steve and the girl looked dumb struck.

"Hey watch my pile of tapes," Steve whines as Dustin knocks them over.

You just stare and watch still utterly confused.

"Who are you?" The girl asks.

Pulled out of your thought you answer," Oh um Y/N, I'm Max's older sister. I just moved from California. You are?"

"Robin and this is Steve," Pointing towards the guy.

He looks at you," Do you have any idea what this about?" Steve asks you.

"No clue, I'm so confused," You say.

"Ugh Max will you fill them in," Dustin says annoyed.

Max does but to you it all sounds like nonsense. She talked about creatures from another dimension that leaked into your world. She also told you about a girl with super powers. Who just so happens moved to California last summer. To your surprise though Steve and Robin don't look surprised. They look terrified. After she catches Robin and Steve up about Eddie.

"Why do you need to call Eddie's friends?" Steve asks.

"To find him," Dustin says.

"You want to find him!" Steve says shocked.

"Correct," Dustin replies.

Max, Dustin and Robin make phone calls to all of Eddie's friends. Steve tends to the customers. You just stand off to the side still puzzled by what you were just told. If it was true your step brother Billy didn't die in a mall fire. He died protecting Max from some big freaky flesh monster. No wonder Max felt so guiltily about his death.

"Guys I think I've got something," Max says, “there's this guy named Reefer Rick. Eddie get his supplies from him," She continues.

"Okay, so where does he live?"  Robin asks.

"That's the problem nobody knows, he's kind of more of a legend," Max says disappointed.

Steve comes back from dealing with a customer. "Bet the cops know the last name. I mean, listen, if this Reefer Rick is actually a drսg dealer, I guarantee you he's been busted at some point. Means he's in the system," he says.

"Really Steve the cops were trying to help him," Dustin scoffs, "You think Eddie's guilty don't you."

"We just can't rule it out Dustin," You chime in yet again.

"Exactly," Steve agrees pointing at you.

"That's precisely what we're trying to do here, Steve. And maybe we'd have a little bit more luck if you'd stop flirting with the customers." Dustin shoots. "Hey Somebody has to attend to the customers," Steve retorts.

" Especially if they're babes, right?" Robin snaps.

"Hey they're not all babes I attend to all customers we have a wife selection, it can be overwhelming," Steve snaps.

"Oh my god, that's it!" Robin explains going over to the computer.

"What's it?" Max asks excitedly.

"We don't need a last name,  we can just see if he's in our system. Hmm there's twelve Rick's in here," She says.

"That's a lot" Max says.

"So let's narrow it down," Robin Replies clicking on the first name. She names off different movies.

"Definitely not," Says Steve.

Robin moves on to the next naming off the movies on his list.  He doesn't sound like a match either so Robin moves on to the third.

"Okay Rick Lipton. Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Cheech & Chong's Next Movie. Cheech & Chong's Nice Dreams. Cheech & Chong's Up in Smoke," She reads.

"I think we found our guy," Dustin says.

"Yep and we got his address right here," Robin points.

Before you know it the five of you are in Steve's car on your way to Reefer Rick's house.

*************

Dustin starts banging on Rick's door.

"Rick! Rick! Reefer Rick," He shouts.

"Dustin stop shouting his name like that," You say to the child.

"Eddie come on no cops we just want to talk," Dustin continues to yell.

"No one's here," Steve says just as Max speaks.

"Guys,"

Everyone goes to her. She's pointing towards an old boat house.

"That looks like the perfect hideout," Robin says.

The five of you walk towards the boat house.  You guys step inside.

"God it's disgusting in here," Steve looks around. Everybody splits up trying to see of Eddie is here. Steve grabs an oar and start poking a covered boat.

"Steve what are you doing?" Dustin asks.

"What he might be under here," Steve replies.

"So take off the tarp," Dustin snips.

"You take it off," Steve continues stabbing the tarp getting further to the top.

"Wait guys look someone was here," Robin says standing by a work bench. Littered with wrappers and beer bottles.

"Oh don't worry, Steve will get him with his oar," Dustin says sarcastically.

You here Steve scoff. Then the next thing you know he's pressed against the wall. Eddie holding a broken bottle to his throat.

Steve gasps. "Wait wait wait whoa!" Steve yells panicked.

" Whoa whoa Eddie Eddie calm down it's me Dustin!" Dustin shouts at Eddie. You, Robin and Max stand in shock.

"Look this is Steve. Steve drop the oar," Dustin tells Steve. He listens.

"What are you doing here?" Eddie finally speaks up.

"I'm were here to help you," Dustin tells him.

"These are my friends, you know Robin from band, Max the one who never wants to play DnD with us, and her sister Y/N, right Eddie? So why don't you just put down the bottle and we can talk," Dustin tells him.

Eddie looks at the group. You feel like his eyes linger on you. He drops the broken bottle.

"We just wanna know what happened," Dustin tells him.

Eddie scoffs" you guys won't believe me if I tell you,"

"Try us," Max says.

Eddie starts, "Her body just lifted on the air and she uh hung there and her bones,  uh she, " You hear him whimper.

"Her bones started to break and then her eyes, it was as if someone was pulling on them from inside her head. I didn't know what to do so I...I just ran," He finishes.

He stares at Dustin." You guys think I'm crazy don't you" Eddie says weakly.

"No Eddie no we don't think you're crazy," Dustin says.

" Come on Henderson don't bullshit me I know how it sounds," Eddie tells him.

"We're not bullshitting you, we believe you," Max says to him.

You don't know if you really do this all seems pretty insane to you.

Dustin then tells Eddie exactly what Max told you earlier.

"That night Eddie did you see anything. Like dark particles?" Robin asks Eddie." It would almost look like swirling dust," She continues.

"No man there was nothing you could see or touch," He replies.

" I...I tried to wake her you know," Eddie cries, " but She couldn't move. It was like she... she was in a trance or something."

"Or under a spell, a...a curse," Dustin rambles.

Him and Eddie look at each other, " Vecna's curse," they both say.

"Who's Vecna?" You ask.

"A dark wizard from DnD, " Eddie says glancing at you. 

A few minutes pass as the rest of the group talk about this Vecna creature and the events of the past.

In the distance there's sirens. They're getting closer.

"Um guys," You interrupt.

They all stop and listen.

"Eddie the tarp," Dustin yells.

Eddie gets back into the boat and pulls over the tarp. Everyone is quite you all look out the windows. You watch as the cops speed past. The group of four look to each other.

"Eddie we have to go check that out," Steve tells him.

Eddie pops out from under the tarp. "Wait I don't want to be here alone," Eddie cries.

"Uhm okay who wants to stay?" Steve asks looking around.

Nobody says anything.

"Princess can stay," Eddie says pointing at you.

Your face turns red, from anger and embarrassment.

"I can't stay with you Edward," You spit, "I need to stay with Max," You tell him.

"It's fine I'll keep an eye on her," Steve says as they're already walking out the door.

Dustin throws Eddie a walkie talkie. Then they're gone. It's just you and Eddie. You stare at him seething for what he did.

************

It had gotten dark quickly, and the cold came with it. You sat on an old milk crate, ignoring Eddie as best you can.

He's pacing the boat house waiting on everyone else to get back. He tried talking to you earlier but you ignored him. Still angry about him calling you princess in front of the others.

Eddie hears you shivering he must have. He throws his big leather jacket at you. You glare at him in protest.

"Come on just put it on princess I can hear your teeth chattering," He tells you.

You put on the jacket, only because of how cold you are.

"Can you stop calling me that? You know my name now," You ask. Dustin having told him earlier.

He comes and sits in front of you.

"Hmmn, No thanks princess, I like the rise it gets out of you," He replies and then winks.

He winked at you.

You're frustrated, "What do you mean the rise it gets out of me?" You ask angrily.

He chuckles. 'Precisely that princess, you get so ANGRY, and your cheeks they get so red," He laughs again.

"THEY DO NOT!" You yell.

He smirks. The smirk reaching his chocolate brown eyes.

"They do princess," He tells you reaching up and stroking your cheek.

This time you do feel your face warm.

"Edward Munson I swear if we live, I'm going to kill you myself!" You yell smacking his hand away from you.

Chapter Four: Snap

[purlturtle]

Be careful what you wish for...

The 90s touchstone Cruel Intentions is Eiskalte Engel – “ice-cold angels” – in Germany, and it’s hard to imagine that a movie with such a pop to its original title could exist any other way. The 1981 cult Americana romp Fast Times at Ridgemont High is Ich glaub’ ich steh’ im Wald, a German idiom that translates to “I think I’m standing in the woods”. The 1999 John Carpenter sci-fi flick Escape from New York turns into “the rattlesnake”, or Die Klapperschlange. (Snakes on a Plane, however, was not translated to “Schlangen in einem Flugzeug” or at all).

(source, with more examples)

I went out to a junk store with my roommate and some friends, and my roommate found a copy of Stargate (the movie), on laserdisc, in French.

Naturally she bought it. I'm just disappointed it was just called "Stargate" and not La Porte Etoile.

[fkyumerica]

Fri 5:23 PM

https://www.tube.com/shorts/m3YoFKuySJU one was under it when it spin around

The girls beautiful

last one they would be it

 and gay too

 they only let shit in

 didnt lock the door

 and unlock it

 make em drink

 bar tender

 now i work in school and barf inject alcohol in them

 anyone

 students

yea

 their little leagues kept people of work places talking to each other

 what sports stars now

 still dont care

to work a job

 people could ice skate and jog around the track

 see giants running and shoot them

 talk with people in the parking lot

 shoot the blacks watching it

 lphs

 lincoln park high school

https://www.tube.com/watch?v=_a8VfTrv2zg they are still alive, England, big ben is where he is in

WHAT IF THERE'S A HIDDEN CITY UNDERNEATH THE EASTER ISLAND STATUES?

 get the alcohol from it

 its their piss

 giants

then they cant move and look like the same women

 so do the men

 and drag

 i will start it

  fucked up goodbye

https://www.tube.com/shorts/xQDb5bjewHI agent orange pregnancy, nerf football

Golden Retriever Thought The Baby Stuff Was For Him | The Dodo #thedodoanimals #dog

 from an infant

 goes outside pregnant, the same

 grandma would buy food for her

Chucky's Untold Stories | EP03: Unveiling The Weakness of Chucky

 we filmed some

 annabelle was pinocchio

 and jester

 hand me downs were it

 next mate

 chucky gets it next

 the it clown is him

 wayne threw him 15 times to kill him

 from kathy when they wentt back together

 after she mated with elizabeth bell/jake mcpartlin

 hi ho silver

 jake married jake/cocoums family

they get pregnant with two remember

jeffery got cheryl pregnant then on the side emily, then jeffery got emily pregnant with dennis rodman

first to see if dennis rodman could mate with emily no then he mates with cheryl no then he mates with me no

they kept saying it till they turned it into english

liquid fermaldohyde the dolls

to make them one

then blow fire to make it come aback

and its just another husband who comes in the house too

and wife, fuck fuck mate mate fuck fuck mate mate

and the husband fuck fuck

to see how much they can endure, and when to leavehim

can only go to that

men were to put their daughters on the beach to die

bigger than her went to it

https://www.tube.com/watch?v=ZvXiABhkRr8 get everyones garbage with me

For 5 Years, A Ghost Has Taken Care Of 2 Girls As Her Children

now tin foil it now mercury it

smackle

pops

let it out chris

as plastic

burn it with rs again

soothe it

calm it down

reject it

tinsel it

that is waynes dad

those were the twin girls at school

guy down the street old man

if  dont like em i'll fight  on that one

now come with me nice girls

there are constant slams in this house people are insane

he wont come over till he gets two kids then he leaves

thinks he is coming at her

isnt

those are her kids

the dog said it

use one to electrocute the fence then he is the wondergirl after

im so sad wtf

now work out

whoa

Fri 6:08 PM

jackay was meghan

and her mother was lori the fast times at ridgemont high football player

and jake

im laughing

he did my hair?

https://www.tube.com/watch?v=AWsPyPDaMcw and cheryl went with him

13 day old Dalmatian puppies

see the weird collars

they made dogs to sell

to make a living

 and knock her off her ass to know what easter island is

 make what she saw go white

 foggy

 and they are turned on

 not me

 by being 4 and a giant is here i can fuck up my parents and leave

 meghan was her daughter with mark and she left

 mike

 dim

 what are they doing paying them with dog money woof

 and clamp each thing married her inbred

10:24 AM

show me a whale getting fucked

https://www.tube.com/watch?v=6r5xrCXXxZA hahahahahahaa

[kennysmoviepage]

Cars in movies and chases are great; they become legendary and then you remember them all-time.

Enjoy your Friday cruising🚘

[yeahiwasintheshit]

AWESOME!

thank you so much for all the info! @v-m-smith it is much appreciated!

as for the criterion channel, im trying to delete apps at this point. the only ones i have are hbomax and kanopy. if you are an american and have a library in your town you can (possibly) get the kanopy app which has thousands and thousands of movies for free without any commercials. its like you are renting it out of the library. its very good, and has TONS of criterion movies, as does hbomax. i just deleted my netflick earlier this year after giving them monthly rent for WELL over a decade... to me theyre a scam. at least for my level of watching. maybe some assholes out there watch enough shit on their streamers to justify the bill, but not me. i want out. which is why im going the physical media route.

my first big category i was trying to buy was get as many fucked up movies i can get lol with the french connection debacle last year and the disney-ification of all these fuckin streamers, i want these movies on physical media before they are not available anymore. and with a possible trump presidency on the horizon, that is a very distinct possibility.

now im also thinking of getting movies i will rewatch. cause i dont know how many times im gonna rewatch salo lol or happiness when it comes out in sept lol so i got trainspotting and to die for which are classics i know id be happy to rewatch from time to time.

as for your recommendations:

Three Colors Trilogy (Blue, White, Red) [own] - it looks good, but i dont think im there to try this yet lol

Walkabout [own] - another one i eventually will get too

Paris, Texas [plan to buy when 4k+blu-ray combo is out] - also waiting for it to come on 4k. its gonna look amazing

In the Mood for Love (available by itself or as part of The World of Wong Kar Wai collection) [own] - really want to see happy together as its own seprate release

Chungking Express (I haven't seen it available separate from The World of Wong Kar Wai collection) [plan to buy when 4k+blu-ray combo is out]

Mulholland Drive [own] - i have this too

Lost Highway [own, but not criterion release] - have to revisit it, i wasnt that huge a fan the first time i saw

A Clockwork Orange [own, but not criterion release] - great movie, i support its criterion release too

Harakiri - dont know this either, but see alot of people recommending it

Tampopo - this does look good, and ive heard make you hungry too lol

Walkabout

Fast Times at Ridgemont High (blind buy) - great movie too

Notorious (blind buy) - need to dive deeper into hitchcock

Werckmeister Harmonies (blind buy) - not sure if im ready for that

Blue Velvet - gonna prob pick this 4k up too

also i got a tie on my poll!

both princess bride and seven samurai tied on a poll. ive never seen a tie!

anyway ive been meaning to pick these 2 up eventually, but maybe sooner now

thanks all

so far i bought 3 movies during the 50% criterion sale

querelle

to die for

trainspotting

im def gonna go back and buy some more, but i dont got the budget to buy everything i want. there so many great movies, help me out and vote which i should buy next

there are so many more i want lol i might still do that amazone wish list thing, cause even if the half dozen or so of people who said yes that they would buy me a movie actually do, that would still be great! tho i dont think amazon is honoring the 50% off sale right now, maybe it will be later in the month?

this is a true tug of war between laziness and getting free movies lol

[madeline-kahn]

Music in Film:

Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982) dir. Amy Heckerling  - Soundtrack

[ayteezmooveez]

The (Currently) Complete Favorite Movies List

Favorite Movies of 1920's-1960's

1. The Wizard Of Oz

2. To Kill A Mockingbird

3. City Lights

4. It's A Wonderful Life

5. Casablanca

6. Psycho

7. Roman Holiday

8. 12 Angry Men

9. Rebel Without A Cause

10. Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid

11. The Philadelphia Story

12. Gentleman's Agreement

13. Citizen Kane

14. On The Waterfront

15. Rear Window

16. Mary Poppins

17. The Birds

18. The Gold Rush

19. A Streetcar Named Desire

20. Miracle On 34th Street

Honorable mention:

Breakfast At Tiffany's

Charade

East Of Eden

My Fair Lady

Planet Of The Apes

Sabrina

Favorite Movies of the 1970's

1. Harold & Maude

2. Close Encounters Of The Third Kind

3. Dog Day Afternoon

4. The Godfather

5. One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest

6. American Graffiti

7. A Clockwork Orange

8. Kramer vs Kramer

9. All The President's Men

10. Halloween

11. Taxi Driver

12. Monty Python & The Holy Grail

13. Jaws

14. Chinatown

15. Blazing Saddles

16. Star Wars

17. The French Connection

18. Young Frankenstein

19. Superman: The Movie

20. The Exorcist

Honorable mention:

Carrie

Duel

Grease

Enter The Dragon

Rocky

The Warriors

Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory

Favorite Movies of the 1980's

1. Ferris Bueller's Day Off

2. The Princess Bride

3. Back To The Future

4. Ghostbusters

5. The Breakfast Club

6. E.T.

7. Die Hard

8. Raiders Of The Lost Ark

9. Brazil

10. Heathers

11. Who Framed Roger Rabbit

12. The 'burbs

13. Gremlins

14. Stand By Me

15. Beetlejuice

16. Clue

17. Scrooged

18. Big

19. Rain Man

20. Star Wars - The Empire Strikes Back

21. Batman

22. The Goonies

23. The Adventures Of Baron Munchausen

24. Spaceballs

25. Real Genius

26. Dead Poets Society

27. Say Anything

28. Back To The Future, Part II

29. Pee Wee's Big Adventure

30. Lethal Weapon

31. Three O'Clock High

32. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

33. Planes, Trains & Automobiles

34. Fast Times At Ridgemont High

35. Star Wars - Return Of The Jedi

36. The NeverEnding Story

37. Indiana Jones & The Last Crusade

38. The Terminator

39. The Karate Kid

40. WarGames

Honorable mention:

Blade Runner

Legend

The Little Mermaid

Poltergeist

Starman

This Is Spinal Tap

When Harry Met Sally...

Guilty pleasure:

Just One Of The Guys

The Lost Boys

Weekend At Bernie's

Favorite Movies of 1990

1. Edward Scissorhands

2. Goodfellas

3. Pump Up The Volume

4. Dick Tracy

5. Quick Change

6. Pretty Woman

7. Back To The Future, Part III

8. Home Alone

9. Gremlins 2

10. Joe Versus The Volcano

Honorable mention:

Cry-Baby

I Love You To Death

Mermaids

Guilty pleasure:

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Favorite Movies of 1991

1. Dogfight

2. Terminator 2: Judgement Day

3. The Fisher King

4. L.A. Story

5. Defending Your Life

6. Barton Fink

7. The Silence Of The Lambs

8. My Own Private Idaho

9. The Addams Family

10. Beauty & The Beast

Honorable mention:

Doc Hollywood

Only The Lonely

Rush

Guilty pleasure:

Johnny Suede

Point Break

Favorite Movies of 1992

1. Reservoir Dogs

2. My Cousin Vinny

3. A League Of Their Own

4. Batman Returns

5. Chaplin

6. Malcolm X

7. Bram Stoker's Dracula

8. The Muppet Christmas Carol

9. Hero

10. Of Mice And Men

Honorable mention:

Leap Of Faith

Singles

Favorite Movies of 1993

1. Dazed & Confused

2. Groundhog Day

3. Jurassic Park

4. Benny & Joon

5. Schindler's List

6. For Love Or Money

7. What's Eating Gilbert Grape

8. The Nightmare Before Christmas

9. Heart & Souls

10. Mrs. Doubtfire

Honorable mention:

The Fugitive

Rudy

The Sandlot

Searching For Bobby Fischer

Sleepless In Seattle

The Thing Called Love

True Romance

Untamed Heart

Guilty pleasure:

Last Action Hero

So I Married An Axe Murderer

Favorite Movies of 1994

1. The Shawshank Redemption

2. Speed

3. The Crow

4. Ed Wood

5. The Lion King

6. Dumb & Dumber

7. Quiz Show

8. Pulp Fiction

9. The Professional

10. Reality Bites

Honorable mention:

Clerks

The Client

Forrest Gump

Four Weddings & A Funeral

Interview With The Vampire

Little Women

The Paper

The Ref

Guilty pleasure:

Brainscan

Favorite Movies of 1995

1. Seven

2. Before Sunrise

3. Twelve Monkeys

4. Dead Man

5. Toy Story

6. The American President

7. The Basketball Diaries

8. Clueless

9. Living In Oblivion

10. Empire Records

Honorable mention:

Apollo 13

Get Shorty

Mallrats

The Usual Suspects

Welcome To The Dollhouse

Favorite Movies of 1996

1. Jerry Maguire

2. That Thing You Do!

3. Beautiful Girls

4. William Shakespeare's Romeo + Juliet

5. Scream

6. The Rock

7. James & The Giant Peach

8. Ransom

9. The Frighteners

10. Tin Cup

Fargo

Hard Eight

Mission: Impossible

Sleepers

Swingers

Trees Lounge

Guilty pleasure:

Independence Day

Favorite Movies of 1997

1. Good Will Hunting

2. As Good As It Gets

3. Titanic

4. Boogie Nights

5. L.A. Confidential

6. Donnie Brasco

7. The Game

8. Scream 2

9. Face/Off

10. Cop Land

Honorable mention:

Chasing Amy

Gattaca

Grosse Pointe Blank

Jackie Brown

Two Girls & A Guy

Wag The Dog

Favorite Movies of 1998

1. Saving Private Ryan

2. Rushmore

3. Out Of Sight

4. Dark City

5. Shakespeare In Love

6. Pleasantville

7. Buffalo '66

8. The Truman Show

9. American History X

10. Enemy Of The State

Honorable mention:

A Bug's Life

Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas

Meet Joe Black

Pi

Playing By Heart

A Simple Plan

The Wedding Singer

What Dreams May Come

Guilty pleasure:

Godzilla

Favorite Movies of 1999

1. Fight Club

2. Magnolia

3. The Matrix

4. Notting Hill

5. 10 Things I Hate About You

6. Three Kings

7. Toy Story 2

8. Sleepy Hollow

9. Being John Malkovich

10. Man On The Moon

Honorable mention:

The Cider House Rules

The Green Mile

The Insider

The Iron Giant

The Sixth Sense

Favorite Movies of 2000

1. Requiem For A Dream

2. Memento

3. Almost Famous*

4. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

5. Unbreakable

6. Traffic

7. Wonder Boys

8. The Way Of The Gun

9. O Brother, Where Art Though?

10. Snatch

Honorable mention:

Billy Elliot

Cast Away

The Cell

Erin Brockovich

Frequency

Gladiator

High Fidelity

X-Men

Favorite Movies of 2001

1. Donnie Darko

2. Vanilla Sky

3. Amélie

4. The Royal Tenenbaums

5. LOTR - Fellowship

6. A Knight's Tale

7. Ocean's Eleven

8. Ghost World

9. A Beautiful Mind

10. A.I. Artificial Intelligence

Honorable mention:

Frailty

From Hell

Gosford Park

The Others

Shrek

Spirited Away

Favorite Movies of 2002

1. Adaptation.

2. Gangs Of New York

3. LOTR - Two Towers

4. Catch Me If You Can

5. Punch Drunk Love

6. Chicago

7. Minority Report

8. Insomnia

9. Death To Smoochy

10. About A Boy

Honorable mention:

8 Mile

28 Days Later

The Bourne Identity

The Dangerous Lives Of Altar Boys

The Good Girl

Igby Goes Down

Moonlight Mile

Panic Room

Road To Perdition

Signs

Guilty pleasure:

The Mothman Prophecies

Favorite Movies of 2003

1. American Splendor

2. 21 Grams

3. Big Fish

4. Kill Bill, Vol. 1

5. LOTR - Return Of The King

6. X2: X-Men United

7. Mystic River

8. Pirates Of The Caribbean

9. Matchstick Men

10. Finding Nemo

Honorable mention:

The Last Samurai

Lost In Translation

Phone Book

School Of Rock

Seabiscuit

The Station Agent

Guilty pleasure:

The Room

Underworld

Favorite Movies of 2004

1. Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind

2. Garden State

3. Spider-Man 2

4. The Aviator

5. Harry Potter & The Prisoner Of Azkaban

6. Before Sunset

7. The Incredibles

8. Napoleon Dynamite

9. Finding Neverland

10. Kill Bill, Vol. 2

Honorable mention:

Dodgeball

In Good Company

Million Dollar Baby

Sideways

Team America: World Police

The Village

Favorite Movies of 2005

1. Batman Begins

2. Walk The Line

3. Brokeback Mountain

4. Brick

5. King Kong

6. Serenity

7. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

8. Wedding Crashers

9. Breakfast On Pluto

10. Sin City

Honorable mention:

The Chumscrubber

Constantine

Star Wars: Revenge Of The Sith

Syriana

Thumbsucker

V For Vendetta

War Of The Worlds

Favorite Movies of 2006

1. Little Miss Sunshine

2. The Fountain

3. The Prestige

4. The Fall

5. Pan's Labyrinth

6. The Departed

7. The Science Of Sleep

8. Superman Returns

9. A Scanner Darkly

10. Clerks II

Honorable mention:

16 Blocks

Babel

Stranger Than Fiction

Wristcutters: A Love Story

Favorite Movies of 2007

1. Across The Universe

2. There Will Be Blood

3. Zodiac

4. Superbad

5. Lars And The Real Girl

6. The Darjeeling Limited

7. Sweeney Todd

8. Funny Games

9. No Country For Old Men

10. Stardust

Honorable mention:

3:10 To Yuma

The Bourne Ultimatum

Gone Baby Gone

Harry Potter & The Order Of The Phoenix

Juno

Knocked Up

Live Free Or Die Hard

Michael Clayton

Ratatouille

Favorite Movies of 2008

1. The Dark Knight

2. The Brothers Bloom

3. Role Models

4. Slumdog Millionaire

5. Be Kind Rewind

6. Iron Man

7. In Bruges

8. Tropic Thunder

9. The Wrestler

10. Wanted

Honorable mention:

The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button

The Go-Getter

Me & Orson Welles

Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist

Wall-E

Favorite Movies of 2009

1. (500) Days Of Summer

2. Where The Wild Things Are

3. Up In The Air

4. An Education

5. Inglourious Basterds

6. Star Trek

7. Fantastic Mr. Fox

8. Whip It

9. The Hangover

10. The Road

Honorable mention:

Adventureland

Avatar

Coraline

District 9

I Love You, Man

Up

Favorite Movies of 2010

1. Inception

2. The Social Network

3. Black Swan

4. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

5. Blue Valentine

6. The Fighter

7. Winter's Bone

8. Toy Story 3

9. Shutter Island

10. The King's Speech

Honorable mention:

Buried

Due Date

Kick-Ass

Let Me In

Never Let Me Go

The Other Guys

The Town

Favorite Movies of 2011

1. Super 8

2. Hugo

3. Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol

4. Crazy Stupid Love

5. Moneyball

6. The Descendants

7. My Week With Marilyn

8. Bridesmaids

9. The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

10. Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows, Part 2

Honorable mention:

10 Years

50/50

The Beaver

Horrible Bosses

The Muppets

Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes

Source Code

Dishonorable mention:

Sucker Punch

Favorite Movies of 2012

1. Silver Linings Playbook

2. Moonrise Kingdom

3. Lincoln

4. The Avengers

5. The Dark Knight Rises

6. Looper

7. Ruby Sparks

8. Django Unchained

9. Argo

10. Mud

Honorable mention:

21 Jump Street

Jack Reacher

The Perks Of Being A Wallflower

Premium Rush

Safety Not Guaranteed

This Is 40

Favorite Movies of 2013

1. 12 Years A Slave

2. Her

3. Snowpiercer

4. The Wolf Of Wall Street

5. Star Trek Into Darkness

6. The Way Way Back

7. Before Midnight

8. The Spectacular Now

9. American Hustle

10. About Time

Honorable mention:

Begin Again

Captain Phillips

Dallas Buyers Club

Fruitvale Station

The Heat

Inside Llewyn Davis

Prisoners

Rush

Warm Bodies

Favorite Movies of 2014

1. Wish I Was Here

2. The Skeleton Twins

3. Boyhood

4. Nightcrawler

5. The Imitation Game

6. Whiplash

7. Birdman

8. The Grand Budapest Hotel

9. St. Vincent

10. Inherent Vice

Honorable mention:

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes

Edge Of Tomorrow

Gone Girl

Infinitely Polar Bear

Interstellar

Love & Mercy

Veronica Mars

What We Do In The Shadows

X-Men: Days Of Future Past

Favorite Movies of 2015

1. Me & Earl & The Dying Girl

2. Ex Machina

3. Inside Out

4. The Walk

5. Sicario

6. Creed

7. Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation

8. Spotlight

9. The Martian

10. Brooklyn

Honorable mention:

Avengers: Age Of Ultron

Bridge Of Spies

Joy

Mad Max: Fury Road

The Revenant

Room

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Steve Jobs

Favorite Movies of 2016

1. Sing Street

2. Midnight Special

3. La La Land

4. Hell Or High Water

5. Arrival

6. The Nice Guys

7. Hidden Figures

8. Manchester By The Sea

9. A Monster Calls

10. 10 Cloverfield Lane

Captain America: Civil War

Everybody Wants Some!!!

The Founder

Hacksaw Ridge

The Jungle Book

Loving

Silence

Split

Swiss Army Man

Dishonorable mention:

The Neon Demon

Favorite Movies of 2017

1. Wonderstruck

2. War For The Planet Of The Apes

3. Phantom Thread

4. mother!

5. Blade Runner 2049

6. Call Me By Your Name

7. Dunkirk

8. Wind River

9. Logan

10. Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Honorable mention:

Baby Driver

Coco

It

Lady Bird

Logan Lucky

Molly's Game

The Post

The Shape Of Water

Stronger

Favorite Movies of 2018

1. A Quiet Place

2. BlackKklansman

3. If Beale Street Could Talk

4. Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse

5. Mission: Impossible - Fallout

6. Isle Of Dogs

7. Ready Player One

8. Incredibles 2

9. Stan & Ollie

10. Thoroughbreds

Honorable mention:

Avengers: Infinity War

Bumblebee

Christopher Robin

Eighth Grade

Halloween

Summer '03

Favorite Movies of 2019

1. Rocketman

2. Jojo Rabbit

3. 1917

4. Blinded By The Light

5. Booksmart

6. Toy Story 4

7. Ford v Ferrari

8. Joker

9. Parasite

10. Knives Out

Honorable mention:

Avengers: Endgame

The Lighthouse

Marriage Story

Once Upon A Time In Hollywood

Yesterday

Favorite Movies of 2021

1. Licorice Pizza

2. West Side Story

3. Dune

4. A Quiet Place, Part II

5. Belfast

6. Spider-Man: No Way Home

7. C'mon C'mon

8. King Richard

9. Ghostbusters: Afterlife

10. CODA

Honorable mention:

Free Guy

The French Dispatch

Last Night In Soho

Nightmare Alley

The Power Of The Dog

Shang-Chi And The Legend Of The Ten Rings

tick, tick...BOOM!

The Tragedy Of Macbeth

[burningexeter]

• The Hangover

• Frequently Asked Questions About Time Travel

• Bandits (2001)

• Layer Cake

• Kick-Ass Duology

• Ninja Assassin

• Shoot 'Em Up

• Leon: The Professional

• Lucy (2014)

• The Killer (1989)

• Hard Boiled

• True Lies

• The Long Kiss Goodnight

• Kung Fu Hustle

• The Nice Guys

• The Old Guard (2020)

• Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes Duology

• The Shawshank Redemption

• The Wolf Of Wall Street

• Panic Room

• Searching

• To Live and Die In L.A.

• Cop Land

• Cop Car

• Road Games

• Joy Ride

• Hard Candy

• Falling Down

• Mr. and Mrs. Smith

• Rumble Fish (1983)

• The Outsiders (1983)

• The Quick and the Dead

• Southland

• 3:10 to Yuma (2007)

• Swamp Thing (2019)

• Carrie (1976)

• Salem's Lot (1979)

• The Shining (1980)

• The Dead Zone (1983)

• Christine (1983)

• Firestarter (1984)

• Stand By Me

• Misery

• The Dark Half

• In The Tall Grass

• Pink Flamingos

• Desperate Living

• Polyester

• Cry-Baby

• Hairspray (2007)

• Footloose (2011)

• There's Something About Mary

• Groundhog Day

• The Sandlot

• The War Of The Roses (1989)

• National Lampoon's Vacation

• National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

• Funny Farm

• Fletch (1985)

• Flight 29 Down

• Scout's Safari

• Faking It

• I Am Not Okay With This

• Saved! (2004)

• Being John Malkovich

• The Ice Storm

• Pleasantville

• Troll (1986)

• Antlers (2021)

• Mama (2013)

• Thanksgiving (2023)

• Insidious (1, 2, 3 & 5)

• The Exorcism Of Emily Rose

• The Black Phone (2022)

• Cold Skin (2017)

• The Secret Of Roan Inish

• The Brother From Another Planet

• Lone Star (1993)

• No Country For Old Men

• The Mexico Trilogy

• Roadracers (1994)

• Bedhead (1991)

• Shorts (2009)

• Batteries Not Included

• The Boy Who Could Fly

• Harriet The Spy (1996)

• How To Eat Fried Worms (2006)

• Dutch (1991)

• Bushwhacked (1995)

• Back To School (1986)

• Nuns On The Run (1990)

• My Name Is Earl

• Scrubs (the first eight seasons)

• The Inbetweeners (including the movie)

• Flight Of The Conchords

• The 4:30 Movie

• Thirteen (2003)

• The Kings Of Summer

• Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging

• Fast Times At Ridgemont High

• Clueless

• Tommy Boy

• I Wanna Hold Your Hand (1978)

• Something Wicked This Way Comes

• The Watcher In The Woods

• Re-Animator

• Vampires (1998)

• Werewolves Within (2021)

• What We Do In The Shadows (2014)

• Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil

• Cobweb (2023)

• Bad Moon (1996)

• Nightbreed (1990)

• Hellraiser (1, 2 & 3)

• Candyman (1, 2 & 4)

• The Big Hit

• Blood and Bone

• Free Fire

• The Kill Point (2007)

• Assault On Precinct 13 (2005)

• The Raid Duology

• Headshot

• The Night Comes For Us

To Be Continued.....

The Wildwood Universe

What is it —

A headcanon shared universe of all these different kinds of media from all genres that take place in the same universe. Different places, different times and most of all, different tones.

• Wildwood (2025)

• The Night Gardener (LAIKA)

• Oz (HBO)

• The Wire

• Breaking Bad

— Better Call Saul

— El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie

• Sons Of Anarchy

— Mayans MC

• The West Wing

• The X Files (the first nine seasons)

— Millennium

— The Lone Gunmen

— Fight The Future

• Buffy The Vampire Slayer

— Angel

• Seinfeld

• Malcolm In The Middle

• Arrested Development (the first three seasons)

• Drake & Josh

— Drake & Josh Go Hollywood

— Merry Christmas, Drake & Josh

• Freaks & Geeks

• Undeclared

• My So-Called Life

• Dawson's Creek

• Party Of Five

• Skins (U.K.)

• Shameless (U.S.)

• Black Books

• The Office (U.S.)

• Parks and Recreation

• Modern Family

• Weeds (the first three or six seasons)

• Orange Is The New Black

• The Venture Bros.

— Radiant Is The Blood Of The Baboon Heart

• LOST

• Heroes

• Fringe

• Pushing Daisies

• Hannibal (NBC)

• Todd McFarlane's Spawn Trilogy (HBO)

• Baccano! (English Dub)

• Hellsing Ultimate (English Dub)

— The Dawn (English Dub)

• Black Lagoon (English Dub)

• Monster (English Dub)

• Death Note (English Dub)

• Durarara!! (English Dub)

— Durarara!! x2 (English Dub)

• Attack On Titan (English Dub)

• A Certain Magical Index (English Dub)

— A Certain Scientific Railgun (English Dub)

— A Certain Scientific Accelerator (English Dub)

— The Miracle Of Endymon (English Dub)

• Chuck (NBC)

• Brooklyn Nine-Nine

• NYPD Blue

• 24

— Live Another Day

• Prison Break (the first two seasons)

• Twin Peaks (Original Series)

— Fire Walk With Me

— The Return

• Tales From The Crypt (HBO)

— The first five episodes of Season 1

— Cutting Cards, The Thing From The Grave, The Sacrifice, For Cryin' Out Loud, Four-Sided Triangle, Judy, You're Not Yourself Today, Fitting Punishment, Lower Berth, Mute Witness To Murder & Television Terror

— Abra Cadaver, Top Billing, Easel Kill Ya, Undertaking Palor, Deadline & Yellow

— None But The Lonely Heart, On A Deadman's Chest, Beauty Rest, What's Cookin', The New Arrival, Showdown, King Of The Road, Maniac At Large, Split Personality & Strung Along

— Forever Ambergris, People Who Live In Brass Hearses, Two For The Show, Well Cooked Hams, Came The Dawn & Half-Way Horrible

— Only Skin Deep, The Bribe, The Assassin, Staired In Horror, Surprise Party & You, Murderer

— Fatal Caper, Escape, Horror In The Night, Cold War, The Kidnapper, Report From The Grave & Confession

• Thief (1981)

• Heat (1995)

• Reservoir Dogs

• True Romance

• Natural Born Killers

• Pulp Fiction

• Kill Bill Vol. 1 & 2

• Inglourious Basterds

• Django Unchained

• The Hateful Eight

• From Dusk Till Dawn

• Trick r Treat

• Krampus

• Doctor Who (1963 - 2017)

— Doctor Who: The Movie (1996)

— Torchwood

— The Sarah Jane Adventures

— Class (2016)

• Good Omens (Amazon Prime)

• Friday The 13th (1980) & A Nightmare On Elm Street (1984)

— Part 2

— Part 3

— The Final Chapter

— Jason Lives

— The New Blood

— Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday

— Freddy's Revenge

— Dream Warriors

— The Dream Master

— The Dream Child

— Freddy Vs. Jason

• The Evil Dead Trilogy

— Ash Vs. Evil Dead

• The People Under The Stairs

• Nightbooks (2021)

• Dog Soldiers

• Big Trouble In Little China

• Overlord (2018)

• Scream Queens

• Nip/Tuck

• Remedy Connected Universe

— Alan Wake

— Alan Wake II

— Control

• Borderlands (2009)

— Borderlands 2

— Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel

— Tales From The Borderlands

— Borderlands 3

— New Tales From The Borderlands

— Tiny Tina's Wonderlands

• Silent Hill (1999)

— Silent Hill 2

— Silent Hill 3

— Silent Hill 4: The Room

• Misfits

• Veronica Mars (Original Series)

— Veronica Mars (2014)

— Veronica Mars (Hulu)

• Bones

• Castle

• Attack The Block (2011)

• E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial

• Family Matters

• The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air

• Martin

• The Bernie Mac Show

• Pair Of Kings

• Beverly Hills Cop

— Beverly Hills Cop II

— Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F

• Rush Hour

— Rush Hour 2

• Friday (1995)

— Next Friday

— Friday After Next

• The 'Burbs

• Heathers

• Hot Fuzz

• Dead Like Me

• Wonderfalls

• Death Becomes Her

• Nope (2022)

• Close Encounters Of The Third Kind

• The Secret Of NIMH (1982)

• Contact (1997)

• Flatliners (1990)

• Rango (2011)

• The Spiderwick Chronicles (2008)

• The Mummy (1999)

— The Mummy Returns

• The Jungle Book (1994)

• The Invisible Man (2020)

• Wolf Man (2025)

• Ginger Snaps

— Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed

• Let Me In (2010)

• Erma (Webcomic Series)

• Keeper Of The Lost Cities (Animated Series)

• MirrorMasks

• Gargoyles (Reboot)

• Huntik (Reboot)

• W.I.T.C.H. (Reboot)

• Walking Dead: The Animation

• The Dark Harvest (Animated Series)

• Knightriders (1981)

• Bioshock

— Bioshock 2

— Bioshock Infinite

• Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare (2019)

— Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare II (2022)

• John Wick

— John Wick: Chapter 2

— John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum

— John Wick: Chapter 4

• Atomic Blonde

• Nobody (2021)

• Shaolin Soccer

• The Adventures Of Tintin (2011)

• Titanfall 2

• Snatch (2000)

And that is literally not even all of it.

It will continue, just give me some more time.

[alias-b]

sins of my youth. 001

Billy Hargrove x OC! Evie Fenny~ Also posted to my AO3

Summary: It was common knowledge that Billy Hargrove hated Hawkins. Hated Cherry Lane. Even loathed the strange girl next door. Evie Fenny wasn’t too fond of the chaotic Cali transfer either. An awful high school tradition sparks a chain of events that changes everything, ultimately bringing two frayed souls together. 

A/N: Hey!!! I'm definitely not giving up on LFTM, I've had this story whirling around my brain and it's been pulling at me for a while. Hoping I can slow down, care for myself, and juggle both fics at my own pace. Thank you guys for reading and for being so supportive. I hope everyone who enjoyed WTL also enjoys this fic, it's a totally different direction. I'm excited to share it! I'll tag warning in each chp like I always too. TW: Light bullying, hints at an inappropriate relationship between a teacher/student, and teenage jerks.

Chapter 1: Fast Times

   A blaring bell trilled. Lunch time. So close and yet so far. Scrambling high schoolers like zoo animals clamored into the cafeteria. Knocking shoulders and bouncing around. No one really cared about knowledge today, the last day of school before winter break began. 

   1984. Coming to a close.

   “Evie!” A hand rose to wave. One pink scrunchie around the elegant wrist. Heather Holloway. Cute as a button smiling there. Hands pulled headphones down to acknowledge her. Evangeline Fenny. Best friends since the sandbox and now seniors. “This stupid day is dragging.”

   “It’s killing me.” Evie whined to herself, settling her beat up lunchbox on the table. Red and blue pattern, scribbled all over with song lyrics in black marker. “Mrs. Stockard fell asleep at her desk, I wanted to die.”

   “She snores so loudly.” Heather sparkled when she laughed, sweeping her hair back into a high ponytail with her scrunchie. Evie held a mirror up for her to see out of habit. “Thanks.” It was particularly louder than usual. Teens pregaming the parties to come over the two week vacation.

   “Going skiing with the folks this year?”

   “No, they’re going up to the cabin and I’m staying home after Christmas.” Heather unpacked her lunch, carefully organizing it. Evie pulled a regular PB and J out, amused.

   “Sushi?”

   “My mom’s going through a phase.” Heather poured herself a bit of soy sauce and plucked up chopsticks.

   “Your rich is showing, Heath.” Evie giggled when a foot kicked at her under the table.

   “Trade you a piece for half the pear.”

   “Deal.” They switched. Evie tucked some unruly dark curls aside, sitting back.

   “So...there is a party tonight. Loch Nora. Bunch of schools.”

   “Which ones?” Evie’s brow rose.

   “Ridgemont will probably crash, but who cares. It’s winter break, we’ll go and have some fun then crash at my place. Eat chips, make fun of them, and pass out like we always do.” Heather bounced a little. “C’mon, Evie. I’ll pick you up and we can walk from my house.”

   “I’ll think about it.” That meant yes to Heather. She grinned, reaching across to pat her friend’s arm playfully.

   “It’ll be fun.”

   Evie just whined and crunched on her pear, brows scrunching. Parties weren’t the same since the incident. But, she picked the popular, social butterfly for her closest friend. 

   The two couldn’t have been any more different.

   Heather Holloway. Rich girl from Loch Nora befriending Evangeline Fenny, a Cherry Lane girl, in preschool. They switched beaded hair ties and the rest was history. Bonded over music and fashion. Heather was classically stunning as if she jumped off a magazine. 

   Students used to make snide comments. That Heather kept Evie around because she made her look prettier. Sweet Heather shut that down. Loudly. Whenever the subject came up. Evie Fenny was a bigger girl. Plush. Fat. It wasn’t a dirty word. She was a strange and pretty teen who carried herself too high to be bothered with comments.

   Water off a duck’s back was the saying.

   Used to be she hid herself under big sweaters, tunics, and flared jeans. But, that was before the incident. Afterward, she came to school with a new haircut. Louder makeup. Even louder, fitted clothing. Flaunted the hourglass and caught eyes on her hips swaying. Sat next to Heather at lunch as if nothing had changed. Red glossed lips only smiled and the student body took to her. Those who stayed angry burned alone.

   Thick skin, no pun intended.

   “If that asshole Tannen shows up, I’m dipping.” Evie decided with one breath. 

   “I’d say that I’ll protect you, but you made your point last year.” 

   Ah, the incident.

   “I’m never going to live that down.”

   “It was legendary.” Heather beamed, crushing her fist into her opposite palm. “Bam. Prick went down. My friend is Wonder Woman. Super Bitch.”

   Evie broke to laugh, eyes rolling.

   “Truthfully, I don’t recall it all.”

   That was a lie, she remembered every second of it. Sometimes her knuckles warmed at the thought.

   “I just...didn’t think you had moves like that. Your mom is basically Dolly Parton. You don’t even like violence. You squirm during horror flicks. You love your cat, your guitar, and all plant life...and you beat the hell out of Ridgemont’s golden boy asshole quarterback.”

   It did earn Evie some Hawkins’ fame. Ridgemont was their main rival. The Bulldogs. Football players found a soft spot for the teen.

   “Don’t tell my mom she’s Dolly Parton, that’ll go straight to her head.” Evie joked, popping her water bottle open to drink. Heather’s big eyes lifted behind her.

   A flood of cologne wafted before two fingers tugged a curl. Little harder than they should have. Water choked to spill onto Evie’s chest.

   “Whoops, you got all wet, Fenny.” A tongue clicked. Billy Hargrove slid around the table. All his glory. Heather plucked up a napkin to offer it.

   “Watch it, Hargrove.” She huffed down at herself. The yellow tee tucked into her jeans was soaked through.

   “Girls can’t help it around me, I guess.” He had one hand in his pockets and another cradling his silver lighter. Flicking it open and closed. Eyes narrowed. “Polka dots, huh. I had you figured for florals.”

   “You’re an asshole.” She covered her damp shirt and bra with her striped cardigan. Thick fall colors warmed her skin. Noted the fact that he'd thought about it.

   “Whatever you say, Ivy.” 

   Billy knew her name. They were neighbors. Unfortunately. Right down to sharing the same space between their bedroom windows. She’d had dinner at their house. Susan Hargrove was new and eager to make some friends and Ms. Fenny was eager to be friends with everyone. Perfect match.

   Evie glared up at him. Fucking Adonis.

   “Heather, you going tonight?” He ignored his neighbor and leaned over with one palm on the table, back to Evie as he sat down to flash that darling smile.

   “Maybe.” Heather gestured with her chopsticks.

   “I can work with maybe.” He acted like the girl behind him wasn’t there. Frankly, Evie was used to being invisible. It was better than being bullied. Most days. “Maybe I’ll see you there.”

   “Maybe you apologize to my friend and say her name right.” Heather winked at him.

   “Who?” Billy stood and turned, mocked some surprise. “Oh. Evangeline. So quiet, I forgot you, chica.”

   She wasn’t sure if that was a jab at her mixed heritage or him just being a smartass. Billy rolled her name off his tongue like it was a joke. Like it wasn’t a real word. Blue eyes alight at her stony expression. Sly and alert. 

   The California transfer vibrated after leaving the basketball team before the season ended. Word was that he was persuaded to leave after some fight with Steve Harrington. Billy was a strange one too.

   Often, he seemed lax when he was alone like the world didn’t matter. Other days, he was rocking and quick on his feet. Hungry and itching for something. Anything. It was a scary look on such a pretty boy. You could never gauge where his mind was. Where it would go next.

   “Evangeline.” He sounded out again even slower. “Your mom lose a bet?”

   “It’s a poem.” She replied flatly, sitting back to cock her head at him. Billy snapped his fingers to point.

   “Sounds like the name of some chick whose man died in her arms.”

   She huffed at him, leaning in.

   “...That would be what the poem is about.”

   “Fucking depressing.” Billy tapped his chin. “I got it. I’m going to call you, Angel. I won’t forget that.”

   “You are not calling me-”

   “Trying to compromise with you, Fenny. You cast the first stone.” Billy flicked his eyes to Heather. “Bring your friend with you to the party, Heather. Some guys like angel cake.” He winked and slunk off to his band of merry assholes. This school worshiped him. Kissed the ground he walked on since he started in fall.

   “What a fucking slimeball.” Evie grumbled to herself, stuffing trash aside to ball it up. Thought about tossing it at Billy's big head. Heather gave this conflicted look as if to say, but he’s cute, right?

   “Ignore him.”

   “Bad enough his family moved in next to me.” They packed up their lunches. “God, I want a smoke so bad.”

   She didn’t keep the habit up just to save her singing voice. Her mom picked up cigarettes only after the divorce last year. Smoked out her window and hid it, but Evie knew. No judgment there. Better than other habits moms pick up after divorces.

   “I’ll pick you up at seven tonight?” Heather walked out with her after the bell rang.

   “Yeah, I’ll see you in fifth.” Evie turned to go to her locker and stuffed the lunchbox away. Grabbed a book to hurry to class. History. Three more periods left. Students fidgeted around her.

   “Hey, Evie.” Steve Harrington batted his eyes at her. Friendly enough these days after he left the popular cliche and broke up with Nancy Wheeler. Sometimes having your heart stopped on made you nicer. Not always. “You, ah, do the paper?”

   “All six pages.” Evie set it on her desk. “You?”

   “I made an attempt.” It was strange because Steve never gave her the time of day before this year. Maybe the guy was lonely. He tapped his pencil and the chatter quieted when their teacher walked in. Late as always.

   “Class, pass your papers to the front.”

   “Hopefully they don’t come back with red wine stains.” Robin mumbled behind her, one leg crossed up so she could draw on the rubber side of her sneakers. Evie caught a snort, taking the papers to pass them along. “I like the jacket.”

   “Thanks. New haircut?”

   “My own dad didn’t notice.” Robin beamed.

   “Psst, Evie.” A note flicked on her desk. Tammy Thompson. Pretty girl, kind of shy. “To Steve.”

   Evie considered herself a professional middle man for lovesick note passing. Discreetly, she gave it to Steve, head cocking. He furrowed his brow upon seeing it, but wrote back.

   Whatever the reply, it made Tammy’s shoulders fall.

   AP Biology was next. Teacher treated it like his kingdom and didn’t pose much of a challenge because he was disorganized as hell. Evie was relieved to share the class with Heather. 

   Billy, Tommy, and Carol also had it too. Hargrove bitched for a week about how the other science classes had no openings. Strange because he wasn’t an idiot. Still got his work in and maintained a B average. Probably due to his dad. Neil Hargrove seemed like a real hardass. And all of Cherry Lane had heard him and Billy arguing at some point.

   Evie might have also witnessed some more physical spats through the windows.

   She figured it was why Billy hated her. She knew something about him. Something he hid because it made him feel smaller. He caught her eyes once and barked nastily before taking off in his Camaro. A gust of smoke.

   She never brought it up. 

   Dads could be real assholes.

   “Watch the movie. Fill out the worksheet.” Their teacher was as ready for this day to be over as the students were. Lights went down. Yawns followed. Evie propped her elbow up on the high lab table she shared with Heather, doodling new lyrics between answering questions.

   A crumpled paper hit her hair. Stuck into brown curls. Heather turned back to glare at Tommy shrugging with a sleazy grin.

   He was no artist. Evie smoothed it for a wide, big lipped and breasted caricature of herself. She drew on it and scribbled a note back. Smiling sweeter when she flicked it at his chest. Carol and Billy leaned in on either side to see Tommy’s expression sour because Evie gave him nothing.

   “You got my hair all wrong.” She’d written. Fixing it for him.

   Billy snorted and turned back to defacing his textbook.

   “Bitch.” Tommy muttered to himself, tossing it away. Evie finished her sheet, dug for her compact to reapply a lip color. Caught Billy behind her. Intent on whatever vulgar drawing his mind was concocting. Blue eyes flicked like he’d been aware of her this entire time.

   The mirror snapped shut.

** ** **

   Study hall. Last period of the day. Most kids who had it were skipping out early during the hour. Slipping away one by one through the library. Evie was one of those kids. 

   “Leaving so soon, Miss Fenny?” The smooth as silk voice lowered, startled her enough to drop her notebooks and folders. 

   “Fr...Mr. Bowers.” Evie dropped before her English teacher standing so close to her. Second period. Been in Hawkins three years teaching the junior and senior classes. Fredrick Bowers. Dream of a man to all the teen girls. “Sorry.” She bit her bottom lip, eyes lifting to see him and his shadow blocking the light from touching her. 

   “No, I’m sorry, Evie. I figured you’d heard me coming.” Sky blue eyes centered on Evie there before he came to one knee. Helped her gather lose papers strewn about.    

   Mr. Bowers had a name and face all the teen girls drew little hearts around in pink gel pen.

   Evie thought she saw those same cartoon hearts bubbling up behind his back. Popping like gum. Styled toffee blond locks, trimmed mustache, and groomed side burns. A simple patterned shirt tucked into fitted slacks with the sleeves rolled up. Never a tie. Something groovy about him that stuck from the seventies. Mid thirties and hell of a smile.

   Evie tucked hair aside, displayed her blush in full view obscenely when he flashed those sparkly whites at her. Eyes crinkling.

   “I’ll warn you next time.” 

   Her heart plucked like a song when their fingers brushed. Dashing and broad. A Jane Austen character come to life. Enough to make any young girl melt. And how quickly she did.

   “Next time.” Evie gave this scoff. Pulling her notes close as they both came to their feet with hard intent eyes.

   "I wanted to give you something. A book to read over the break." He pulled it from his leather messenger bag and peered around.

   "An assignment?" Evie sparkled at him so he was lighter.

   "No, it's just because I believe you're so clever and mature. I think you'll read it with an open mind and we can talk about it like we talked about all the others. It's complicated material. I, ah, really shouldn't be giving you this book." He offered it. "But, there were quite a few I wasn't allowed to give you. After that chat we had over The Crucible. I'm just so fascinated by what you think."

   "Lolita. I know what happens in this one." Evie peered at the battered title. Rough paper between her fingers, it was clearly an old copy. She peered at his chest instead of his eyes. "We-"

   "Don't you miss talking? You know. Last year. Someone who knows what you're going through. I want all my students to be comfortable around me."

   "I am comfortable, we..." Evie glanced as someone passed far down the hallway.

   Bowers helped her after her dad left. A shoulder. A confidant. A crush that... She felt her heart close in on itself.

   "I thought you said we couldn't anymore."

   "I miss you." He whispered that. Lush and blunt. She barely heard it. Eyes snapped up.

   Someone missed her. Someone wanted to listen. Someone who saw her depth.

   His wife left him before he came to Hawkins. Evie learned a great deal about her too.

   "I won't tell, I never do." She hid it away into her bag, matched his tone. "We can...talk. Not here."

   "Good." He swallowed. "I just think you blossom under guidance and support. I always knew you were one of those girls."

   Evie blushed again. Eyes on her shoes. 

   “I wanted to say I was impressed with your paper as well. As always.” Fredrick gave her arm a pat and left his hand there. Fingers pressed into the knit fabric of her cardigan. His lip twitched. 

   “Good. That’s…I’m glad.” Evie’s eyes flickered over stormy blue ones, swaying. Lashes gave a dreamy bat. “I was thinking, ah, about you when I wrote it.”

   “Really, you should speak up in class more.” Fredrick gave her one subtle squeeze and dropped his hand. “All those funny poems you shared last year.”

   “My songs.” Evie corrected softer and he only smiled to nod.

   “Right.” An idle step backwards before he leaned over her. A great deal taller. The shadow crept over her eyes this time. “You have a Merry Christmas, dear. And speak up again in class, Evie. You know I love to hear from you.”

   A sensation like a fizzling sparkler glowed in her belly. Out her spine. Spread over skin.

   “I know.” She giggled at him, peering around. “Merry Christmas, Mr. B. We'll talk.”

   “Small town, I’m sure I’ll see you out and about.” A wink and he was gliding off. Shoulders back and chest perched high.

   “You might.” Evie swooned against her locker. Watched him go. Gasped a breath into her lungs. Swept all the clouds aside to fill her backpack with work. He made her feel so special, like no one ever could. 

   “Anyone...” She sang to herself, “who knows what love is...” Fingers plucked up a final book. Evie hummed and thought of small cartoon blue birds spinning around her head as she went into the restroom. Washed her hands and lingered to see her reflection.

   Evie was in a strange place. In and out of her skin. Torn between love and hate for her body.

   Usually, it just took a brave face. Her dad always used to tilt her chin and tell her to put on her bravest face before leaving home.

   She hoped the one she chose was convincing. 

   Her mom would always spin her favorite Bible or Dolly Parton quotes. Which helped on occasion even if she wasn’t sure which source the words came from half the time.

   A sigh. This was her flesh. She’d live in it as best she could. Dreamed herself into something better.

   Footsteps hurried down the hallway until the door shoved open. Humming cut.

   “Hargrove!” She gasped, dropping her messenger bag. “Billy, you can’t be in here!”

   “God damn it, Fenny. You again?” Billy skidded to hush her. Pressed them back into the wall. The heat of his body engulfed her frame, standing a good few inches taller. “Do me a fucking solid. Hide this for me.”

   Billy had no sense of boundaries because he was stuffing a baggie into her front jean pocket. 

   “What are you doing?” She seethed at him, smacking his arms off her to put some distance. “Get off me!”

   “Don’t say a word. Got it?” Billy lifted a finger with an intent look. Smelled of leather and his heavy cologne. Hairspray too. It all overshadowed the cigarette scent. He smoothed his tee out and turned to see the door. Scrambling like a spider, Billy jumped up on the toilet, threw his messenger bag outside, and pulled himself up. Wiggled his way out.

   Evie heard a thud and groan.

   “What the fuck?” She whispered, more so to herself as he disappeared. Hands pulled what was clearly concealed weed bundled up several times and bagged from her pocket. “Shit.” More footsteps before the door burst as she shoved it away.

   “You see that Hard-grove kid?” A thick accent asked. Security guy. Useless.

   “Uh!” Evie pulled her bag up. “Who?...This is the ladies room! Can’t a girl have a moment here?” 

   “Sorry!” He cringed away before she jumped into mushy period talk. It always worked. 

   Evie rolled her eyes and marched out to find Billy. Casual as can be, he tossed his bag into the trunk of his car and stilled to light a cigarette. Grumbling, steps hurried up the hill.

   “Asshole!” She tossed the weed at his chest, made him catch it awkwardly and stuff it into the trunk with a hiss.

   “Keep a lid on it, will you?” He slammed it shut. No one was around to see them.

   “Don’t do that shit again.” She pushed into him to go, Billy’s big hand wrapped around her wrist. Tugged her square into his chest. An unkind grin swept.

   “I had you figured, didn’t I? You didn’t say anything.” Billy blew smoke into the air, plucked the cigarette out to flick it with his free hand.

   “Let go.” Evie huffed. “I would have been in deep shit too for that.” She wiggled and pushed at his chest. 

   Billy flicked his bright eyes over hers. So brown they looked black in winter. He never noticed that she had a dusting of freckles across her nose and cheeks like he did. Pale for a girl with darker features. Indiana falls and winters must have taken the color right out of her. Looked like a lot of the mixed gals he knew back home. 

   Big curls. Soft and curvy. 

   Angry at him over something he did.

   There's no place like home, he figured.

   “You’re so weak.” Billy laughed at her. Took another drag. “They told me you freaked out on a guy last year.”

   “You want to be next?” She twisted away from him and turned. It wasn’t a real threat. He’s seen her tend to plants like they were humans. Feed neighborhood cats and nurse her own. Old black cat with not long left. Little fucker was always creeping him out from her bedroom window. Constantly staring with huge green eyes like it knew something Billy didn’t.

   “Babysit your own weed.”

   “You walking home?” Billy was relentless, voice lifting.

   Evie huffed and turned.

   “What, are you going to say I probably need the exercise? My bike chain broke.”

   “Christ, I was gonna offer a ride. Figured I owed you for saving my damn weed and my break. Not like it's out of the way.” Billy turned to open the passenger door. “Quit being a drag and get in. I don’t bite hard...unless asked.”

   “You’re such a creep.” She eyed him there. Wondered how he stayed warm in a tee, jeans, and leather jacket. “Not waiting for Max?” He gave this annoyed look.

   “She’s going out with her stupid friends, not my problem today.” Billy got in, gesturing. “At least close the door if you’re not coming. I went through the effort to open it for you.”

   “What a gentleman.” Sarcasm.

   Evie came back toward his car and debated it. Smelled like it might rain with the sky turning grey. And she really didn’t want to walk in these shoes. Rationalizing it, she slipped inside and shut the door. Settled her bag in her lap. Even buckled up. Billy revved the engine and skidded to speed out without a second glance.

   “You going to the party with Heather?”

   Evie peered at him watching the road with this hard look on his face. Ghosted a smile. Bingo.

   “You’re being nice to me to get to Heather, huh. You know you’re not the first guy to pull this. Could have just asked me about her.”

   Crystalline eyes flared up at her face.

   “What? Dorky chicks like you turn me on, too.” He replied rougher, not bothering to watch the road.

   “Wow. Spread it on thick, Hargrove.” She turned from him.

   “I always do.” He hit a hard corner. Christ, he drives fast. “I got a shot?”

   “She thinks you’re cute.” Evie shrugged. Far too used to this. Eyes slid to his profile. Wild curls still golden on grey days. The boy glowed. It was absolutely insufferable. Leaves whirled by, brown and dead. A smile crossed her face. “Listen. Since you’re saving me a walk. I’ll help you.”

   “Help me? I don’t need your help, I just wondered if she was gonna show.” He scoffed, turning on Cherry Lane.

   “You want to know what Heather likes. It’ll help you.” She crossed her arms, nearly flying forward when he screeched to a stop in front of his house. Billy shot her a look, filled with pride. “You got a pen and paper, bud?”

   He snatched her bag, tore a page from her notebook and dug into his glove box for a pen.

   Ass. She hugged it back to her chest.

   "Talk."

   “Okay.” A breath. “The thing about Heather is she’s a romantic. Jane Austin girl. Pride and Prejudice. If you can quote that just once like Mr. Darcy, she’s yours... Well? Are you writing?”

   Billy did a double take and huffed, grumbling. He actually marked it down.

   “Mr. Who?”

   “Your life amazes me.” She chuckled. “Darcy.”

   “Got it. Darcy. I’ll ask Susan about that shit, she’s a reader.” He muttered, tongue sweeping out before he scribbled. 

   “And she loves museums. First date ideas. Milkshakes. Cheese fries with jalapenos. Cheeseburger gal. Chinese from that corner joint. Always spicy. Easy picks.”

   “A girl after my own burning heart.” Billy felt her peer at him again. Lips lifting with this expression he couldn’t read. Blinked her big eyes and went on.

   “Definitely loves to snuggle in with something scary even though they freak her out. Must be a curiosity thing.”

   “Any excuse to get close to someone, I like it. This is gold, Angel, go on.”

   “You know, I think that’s all I got for you.” Evie turned to get out, sighing. That was just a little evil. “Billy.”

   “What?” He shut his door and turned from her.

   “Thanks for the ride.” She moved to go toward her house. “Knock ‘em dead.”

   Billy didn’t reply. Just watched her go into her house before he dug for another smoke.

   “Mom?” Evie called. “I’m home.”

   “I’m in my room, sweetheart!”

   Ramona Fenny was a spirited woman, went by Mona to the neighborhood. A girl of the 60s. Built like Dolly Parton with a pumped hairstyle to match in sleek dark brown, almost black. She worshiped the woman. Looked like she could have modeled atop a cake. 

   A church going girl who used prayer to get her through the divorce. Never pushed it on others, not even Evie. Too busy pushing other things. Like the free days she lost having her daughter young. She liked what worked in life and this worked for her. Liked the pretty side to things. 

   Mona was a sunny side up sort of mother.

   Best friends with Claudia Henderson as they both went through divorces which was not in God’s plan. Evie liked Dustin, she babysat him on occasion and he was a good kid. Bullied like her. 

   Mona owned the favored hair salon in town. Worked long hours with a team of women and ran a tight ship. Did hair for all the social elites so she knew everyone and all the hot gossip. And did she love that detail the most. Evie helped out with reception during vacation time. Liked the extra cash.

   “I was going to go to Heather’s later, there’s a party.”

   “Oh, have fun, baby.” She pushed her kid to go out. To live. To be smart. Never asked her to call. Not out of trust for Evie, she couldn’t be bothered. Never imagined her daughter would be up to mischief.

   If only she knew.

   Sometimes, Mona keyed in when it suited her. Understood when Evie’s likes and dislikes changed. When she asked to not go to church anymore because it didn’t help her after her dad walked out. Ramona was understanding as long as you didn’t bring up things like depression and anger. There always had to be a way out. Turn the other cheek.

   Evie knew her mother always thought the best.

   “Great.” Evie crossed to steal the hair brush, helped her mother out with the teasing. Dyed rich and dark locks that used to be a mousy brown. Dark eyes like her daughter. Evie didn’t look like her father with his brighter features. Her lush hair and russet eyes. Thick brows. “You going out? All dressed up...”

   “Just into town, couple of errands.”

   That was something that changed a week after her dad moved out. Mona’s style revamp. She was a woman of the sixties and seventies and that came back full force. Styled and pumped up like she was walking out of a Nancy Sinatra music video. Men around town noticed it and the woman certainly speculated. 

   But, her daughter had a style change too after the incident so it must have run in the family.

   “Better?” Evie eyed the glittery rings sitting in a ceramic dish. They looked like gumballs there.

   “Touch of hairspray and I’ll be right as rain.” Pink manicured nails came up with the can. “Take cover, baby.”

   “Got it.” Evie disappeared in a waft of spray. Stole an ice cube from the freezer to crunch it out of this habit she picked up when dad was gone. Cool and melty between her fingers before she swallowed it down. Felt the bulge tense all down her throat. Another followed. Teeth straining to crack it like glass. The chunks went down a little less smooth as she looked for real food and shut the fridge instead.

   Evie went into the bedroom to see her old cat on the pillow. His head lifted. Skinny and balding. Blind in one eye.

   “How’re we doing, my handsome boy?” Evie dropped her bag and crossed to pet him. Purrs erupted, whiskers twitching. “Bourbon, my darling.”

   A scratch of a meow rasped.

   “Yes, I love you too. I’d kiss you if my lips weren’t done up.” She smacked her lips and stood. “Outfit.” Clothing pushed around. Her room was a small, intimate space. Few pictures and purple curtains. Desks covered in song lyrics, trinkets, and needle felting projects.

   Evie held up garments to the cat, but he was no help. Just purred there like a motor boat. Settled on a black top with some sparkle and a magenta wash denim jacket. Jewelry was a must, she preferred earrings that were huge acrylic hearts. Bourbon had gotten into the window to watch the window across the way. 

   Billy wandering shirtless and damp. Muscles red and bulging like he’d done a quick work out

   “Yeah, not today, my sweet.” Evie plucked the cat from the window and reached to close the blinds. Billy caught her. Winked and licked his lips slower. She made a face at him. Utterly loathing and not impressed at his peacock way of navigation. “Ew." 

   The blinds snapped down, leaving Billy to laugh there. Evie carried her purring cat out, chiding. 

   "Don’t make his head any bigger than it already is.”

~~~~

TAGLIST OPEN! Hope you enjoyed! Thanks!

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael After Midnight: 88 Lines About 44 Average Movies Not Worth Reviewing

In the year 1981, Marc Campbell and David Kaufman of the Nails got together and wrote out one of the single greatest songs of all time: “88 Lines About 44 Women.” The song is exactly what it says it is; it is a song, 88 lines long, with two lines each describing a different women. Some of these women are based on real people the two men knew, while other women described in the song are made up. Originally released in 1981 as the first side of the EP Hotel for Women with minimal production - the backing of the song was basically a single droning synth - it was eventually polished up and rerecorded for 1984. The deadpan delivery of the song as well as its general quirkiness and oddball concept has helped make it a beloved obscure 80s song ever since.

Fast forward to… I dunno, the mid to late 2000s? Whenever it was that I watched AMV Hell /0, where it was used in one of the few clips that didn’t feature some absolutely fucked up fetish. It just had good old fashioned bathtub maturation! Anyway, that's how I stumbled across this quirky little song, and fell in love with its odd delivery and peculiar list-like structure. I always wished I could do a parody of it, but it was never meant to be…

Until now! In the year 2020, I came to a decision that would help me finally get a lot of movies out of my system: I’d do a little parody of this odd song and list 44 films that I just don’t think are worth getting a full review with two lines to each film. These are all movies I’ve watched and under any other circumstance would probably make for good reviews… but I just find them too average or just not interesting to talk about to want to dedicate my time to writing out an entire minimum 500 words review. Two lines is what they deserve, that’s good enough.

Anyway, I’m certainly not going to pretend I’m as good as Campbell and Kaufman, but here’s what I managed to punch out by sifting through the mound of perfectly average films I just don’t think deserve elaboration or discussion on my blog... not cuz I think they’re bad or anything, for the most part. I just don’t feel these films engaged me enough for me to make a review of them interesting. Anyway, here we go:

Scorpion King helped launch The Rock It’s a solid Conan clone

My Little Pony is a corny kids film Worth watching for the Smooze alone

Caveman’s an okay Ringo vehicle Decent effects and ambitious at least

Equestria Girl’s a so-so commercial Whose first sequel has it beat

Meatballs, a standard old school camp film By any means, it’s not the worst

Man of Steel is bleak and unfun But Cavill will make you thirst

Prince of Persia’s not that bad But the casting’s rather shit

Yellowbeard has a stellar cast Wasted on a tacky script

Blades of Glory, not amazing But I guess Kanye thinks it’s neat

Smallfoot tackles heavy topics decently Using cryptids with big feet

Nick and Norah is your average Indie cornball romance schlock

I Am Legend would have been awesome If the theatrical ending wasn’t crock

Bender’s Game is a filler film Pointless fluff that’s just not clever

Razorback’s a killer pig flick But other killer animals are better

The Revenant is just okay How did Leo win for THIS?

Illumination’s Grinch is okay Not spectacular, but not shit

Observe and Report is basically Just an edgier Paul Blart

Cheaper By the Dozen’s a bit corny But it has humor and heart

Anchorman 2 is wholly unneeded But hey, there’s Stonewall Jackson’s ghost!

Anger Management’s a Sandler film But not one that sucks the most

Enduring Love’s just Fatal Attraction But just a little bit more gay

For Your Eyes Only’s a Bond outing That’s unremarkable in every way

From Hell’s a Jack the Ripper film That got Alan Moore to rage and rant

The Ring’s ok for PG-13 horror But it won’t make you shit your pants

The Rescuers is a weak film With a few good bits going for it

Soylent Green’s a relevant dystopia But you already know the twist

Fantasia 2000 is like the original Less impressive, but the animation’s nice

Die Hard 2 is just the first film Same shit happened to the same guy twice

The Sword in the Stone would just be a footnote If not for the squirrel girl and Mim

Hugo’s a passable Scorcese kid film Who expected that from him?

The Notebook is a solid romance But the ending’s sadder than the book

Frankenweenie’s not Burton’s best work But it’s mostly cute and worth a look

Hanna’s your standard action thriller You’ve seen this song and dance before

Zack and Mirri Make a Porno With a title like that you’d expect more

Birdman is pretentious wank But Michael Keaton’s performance rocks

Teen Wolf’s a bit of a novelty But who can hate Michael J. Fox?

Urban Legend’s a standard 90s Post-Scream snarky slasher flick

Dogtooth is a hard watch With subject matter that’s quite sick

Super 8 is basically A less engaging Stranger Things

Horrible Bosses is mostly unpleasant But I did enjoy a couple things

Fast Times at Ridgemont High Is cliche, trite, and doesn’t try

Bridge to Terabithia’s main appeal lies In how hard it will make you cry

Jack Reacher’s a bland action film That stars a Scientologist

Manticore, classic SyFy shit I’ll just let it end this list

[illyrilex]

D, H, L, N, O, T (these are fun!)

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t.Easy: KingxRyo without a doubt. Everyone seems SO on board with it, and it’s kinda canon but kinda not (the canon itself has been inconsistent at best). But I just… can’t. I can’t do it. She’s too good for him and he’s boring as fuck.I don’t really like Valenfield, either, because I really like the idea of Chris and Jill being platonic partners but RE3make is probably about to make that shit canon so…H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)?I love watching movies and shows. Comic books to a certain extent but I don’t really read them that much anymore. Oh, and Idk if this counts, but real life ;)

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. (Characters you’re neutral about are fair game, as are characters you merely dislike. Characters that you absolutely loathe with the fire of ten thousand suns are exempt, as there is no point in giving yourself an aneurysm over a character that you hate.)Hmmmm. Ryo Sakazaki has very nice eyes and looks really cool when he’s rocking the facial hair.N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice)Oh, wow. Nothing I’d like to see more of per se, but things I’d like to see less of come to mind immediately.O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?Okay, I actually put my Spotify playlist on random and the first song that came up was Moving In Stereo by The Cars, which reminds me of Yuri and Robert only because of a convo I once had about them in which I said I could totally see them in this scene in a movie called Fast Times At Ridgemont High….T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? King’s bisexuality (as well as most of the hc’s I’ve spun tbh…), Mary pegging Terry, and Mai being bipolar. Like… those are it.Fanfic asks

[alltimewhat]

when one of the movies listed that s3 takes inspiration from is fast times at ridgemont high and u look it up to see what its about and it says that its essentially about kids exploring “highschool life” but that includes sex and you want to die