#fast dish

[toyastales]

Cowboy Butter Chicken Skewers

[formicarum-rex]

no middle ground. i know that even if you mostly use it as one way there are probably situations where you'd use it the other way too. what is your knee-jerk instinct?

[silentium-symphony]

Autumn-disiac (Link x Reader) SMUT

a/n: sorry i've been gone for awhile! here's some ~fun stuff~ to make up for lost time ;) i haven't really written anything in awhile, so please bear with me as i get back into the swing of things!

cw: minors dni, afab!reader, link going FERAL over his meal :), reader is just a sobbing horny mess LOL, praising, cunnilingus, overstimulation, porn w/o plot, christ what the hell did i write

wc: 595

♤♢ ~~ ♡♧

The return of autumn heralded many things. Those sick of summer's swelter happily traded in sweat-yellowed tank tops for cozy, chunky knit cardigans. Fur-lined pants and leaf-patterned smocks replaced rustic shorts, and other summer apparel was shelved for the next growing season. Mothers' calls for their children chime earlier and earlier, paralleling the harvest darkness that encroached sooner in the day. Heroic epics crafted from the day's play are often discarded at the door, forgotten, as children are embraced by their mothers first and the smells of her cooking second.

Beyond the intimate comforts of home lie the wilds, which have since been shadowed with deep magenta. A thin spray of mist rolled down the hills, carrying with it the softest hint of moved air. The breeze, chilled by the beginnings of the harvest season, lapped at a set of blurry windows fogged from within.

A tongue, moistened with your sweetness and honeyed with sinful whispers, dragged the edge of ecstatic muscle up and down your abused folds. A brittle sob erupted from your chest as you tossed sweat-pressed locks from your forehead.

"L-Link, we've been at this for hours..."

"I know, baby, I know. You're doing so well. Just one more round, okay? You know how much I need this sweet pussy."

Your beloved's sultry purr rumbled through your core, sending bolts of electricity through pleasure-numbed nerves. Calloused palms sunk into your soft, supple thighs as he urged you forward and back with a gentle sway.

"Mm... Rock your hips for me... That's it, that's it, love..."

The sounds of desperate suckling and pussy-drunk groans brimmed the air with sickeningly sweet depravity. The musk of hours-long sex perfumed your senses into a mindless, blissed-out mush, electrified only by the occasional flick of your clit or the teasing teething from the man below. Leaning back slightly, you rested your shaky arms atop Link's thighs, doing little to still his erratic and involuntary pistoning--a futile attempt to fuck the hole he was currently feasting.

"That's it, hun, lean on me. I'll take care of ya, promise."

That all-too familiar tension was mounting deep in your gut, threatening to spill over and drown the man underneath. Honed in on your tells, Link initiated a dangerous combo of tongue and finger, alternating between fucking and rubbing until your vision blurred with more tears and your throat burned with more pleas.

"Mm... You want it, yeah? Does my beautiful, perfect girl wanna cum for me? Hm? Wanna cum, baby?"

"P-Please...! Link, I'm so close, please let me cum! Please let me cum! Plea--!"

A burning white throbbed through your core, snapping the thread that dangled your last bits of sanity over the velvety abyss. A searing light, hot and addicting, temporarily blinded you as you felt yourself fall back onto a sticky body.

A loud cry buzzed through your subconscious as something hot and wet squirted all over your front, painting your tits and stomach with thick threads of white. Pleasure-stricken convulsions rocked his body as more heat spilled onto you.

No energy could be expended to bask in the final afterglow, your eyelids weighted by an exhaustion you had never known. Some shuffling, and soon, the hot stickiness on your back and front was cooled by a wet rag. What could vaguely be recognized as fingers combed through the undoubtedly sweaty, tangled bird's nest formed atop your head. Soft, lovestruck murmurs coming from your beloved hastened you quicker into slumber.

You could only hope he understood your gurgled hum as an 'I love you.'

(Don't worry, he did).

[buwheal]

BBLEEDING . HWAT HAPPENED ?????

[ilovemesomevincentprice]

Vincent Price - The Bat (1959)

[f0point5]

I love that Max had precisely two business days of media feud in him and he was maxed out.

[carnation-damnation]

My contribution to the fankid sillies. Quirky kid who's mostly in the care of Shadow's chao, and is a little too interested with the concept of time traveling...

[breaking-noose]

Chunbo Zhang

Born and raised in Shenyang, China, Chunbo Zhang (Bo) is a painter and printmaker currently living in Chicago. In her words:

My current work reflects the anxiety I have experienced as a foreigner living in America and adapting to its culture. In examining this matter, I choose food as the subject because it is not only the essential in our daily life, but also an entry point for a foreigner to understand an unfamiliar culture.

In my existing paintings, I use realistic style and surrealistic approach juxtaposing Chinese antique porcelain wares with American food. The juxtaposition of two cultural references contrasts the differences between hard (raw) vs soft (cooked), inedible vs tasty, ancient vs modern, high vs low in a humorous way.

[tarantula-hawk-wasp]

I suspend my disbelief for it but I do NOTICE when a fic has some say they’re gonna “whip up something quick” and then make a recipe that usually has a cook time of like 45 minutes not including prep.

[etherealspacejelly]

every so often i get a thought along the lines of "if i just did x every day i would get so good at it so fast" or "if i did this every week i would feel so much better" but then i remember i have adhd and cant form habits. which is incredibly fucked up and evil. why would they do this to me.

[toyastales]

Onion Rings

[its-maemain]

Aren't the Wayne's already New Jersey Royalty? They already pulled the sword from the trash. The real question is, who are they blaming? My money is on Jason, but Bruce probably did it.

I can see Bruce or Jason being the one to pull it out. Referred post(it's funny)

Jason because a boy who came from the heart of Gotham, and Bruce because his family is so intertwined with the history of the city.

Jason walked a lady home and as he passed an alley he noticed a group of kids huddled around a pile of garbage. He takes it out and a light shines on him as the children watch in awe. “You’re the king of New Jersey”

Bruce is patrolling and notices it and grabs the sword, cause this shouldn't be in a random alley? Why wasn't it pawned off?? He is immediately looking up like a toddler that got tapped on the head when the light comes shining down upon him with a voice going “You’re the king of New Jersey”

It is the funniest thing that's happened since everyone decided to send in there reports in Simlish for a week.

Thanks for the ask!!

[coridallasmultipass]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BESTEST WIDDLE SNAKEY WAKEY.

I can't believe my son is 18!! I estimated a birth date for him to be about a month before I got him in fall of 2006, since he was such a widdle month-old baby sneky. I always try to get a good birthday pic of him - especially after he eats and gets the good yawns in.

Pretty soon, he'll be off to snake college, for snakes. Dunno how we're gonna afford those ssssnudent loans.

Image description below the cut:

First photo is an albino corn snake (species name: Pantherophis guttatus) peeking out from behind a fake flower on a rocky hide (a house inside the tank where reptiles can feel secure and hidden). The snake is flicking his tongue out. Only his head is visible in the photo. Caption on the photo reads: Demo's 18th birthday. August 9, 2024.

Next photo is the same snake, but in a clear, close-up, detail photo. Each scale is clearly defined. He has red eyes and pink cheeks, and pale white patterns on an off-white body. The scales on his head are shaped to follow the different planes of his face. The scales on his neck (and body, not shown) are uniform and scallop-shaped.

The next three photos are sequential. The same snake appears with his mouth barely open. Then, his mouth is wide open in a yawn. His cheeks look so smooshy. His head is shaped the way a snap hairclip opens, curved upwards, and it's funny and cute. His mouth has ridges inside, but no teeth or fangs are visible (because his teeth are too tiny to be photographed politely, and he does not have any fangs). The last photo in the sequence has the snake with his mouth still open, but the top of his head is a normal shape again as he begins to end the yawn.

[cheruib]

bought my favorite cinnamon roll for dessert after i break my fast🤭

[ilovemesomevincentprice]

Vincent Price doing dishes.

You're welcome.

[ghostwnby]

Momma Lewis strikes again <3