#farmer tf

[fredwkong]

Do you do any trips to Guatemala? My dad was born there and I would like to go back there again since I only went there when I was a baby.

Thanks for your booking with FWK Vacations! Your Guatemalan vacation is about to begin.

You wake up with the rooster’s crow. You blink owlishly at the predawn gloom for a moment before you feel a burst of energy. That’s right, you need to go handle the chores. Just like every morning.

By the time the sun rises, you’re dripping with sweat, rivulets dripping from under your short black hair down your bare back. Lots of your peers have moved to Guatemala City, but you can’t imagine living in such a crowded, dirty place. You prefer a little village like this on the side of the mountain, taking care of the farm like your father, and his father, and his father, probably back before the Spanish arrived here.

The first tour bus of the day drives past on the dirt road, and you grin as the gringos take in your lithe young body through the dirty windows. There are perks to being a tight-bodied farmboy, too. You just have to pretend you’ve never been with a man, and they put fat stacks of quetzals in your pocket. They love to get the experience of getting fucked by a genuine Guatemalan farmhand.

Enjoy your vacation!

Want to go on vacation? Drop me an ask!

[itscherryterry-again]

yea

[nomazee]

silly silly

sebastian (sdv) x gn reader

word count: 2.1k

content: pining (mutual...), AGGRESSIVE pining, reader is smitten and in love, stream of conciousness/ramble type of writing, romantic tension (unresolved), cute and will maybe make ur stomach hurt from anxiety (i have my ways) (i’m lying)

notes: omg hey guys so i wasn’t lying about the stardew valley delusion and now i’m so deep in that i wrote this in a haze last night and posted it to my ao3 and now im posting it here. please enjoy. my heart and soul (my rotted brain) went into this it’s the beginning of my magnum opus 

part 1 (you are here) part 2 part 3

<><><><><>

You’re gonna kiss him silly. By the end of the night, you totally are.

It’s something you decided since before you showed up at this jellyfish-festival thing. You barely even know what it’s all about, really—the note from Demetrius didn't say much other than the fact that it was happening tonight, and you should come, and it’s beautiful and all the jellyfish are going south for the winter (like they’re a flock of birds, you think absurdly), and it’s down at the beach at 10pm. You weren’t exactly up to asking him more about it, seeing as it would be awkward to do that and then kiss his step-son on the mouth right in front of him that same night.

That was the plan. Kiss Sebastian on the mouth. It was going to happen and there was kind of nothing anyone could do to stop it (except Sebastian himself, reasonably). You’d like to think you’d gotten close enough to him to let this sort of thing happen. But then again, Sebastian is a special enigma, like a specter floating around on his own path, invisible to the things around him (or at least, trying to be invisible. He’s not invisible to you, never ever ever. You’re too painfully aware of him to let go of that).

Your mind is running with too many thoughts. It’s dark on the beach, and the wood of the dock creaks faintly beneath your feet as you approach where he stands with Sam and Abigail. Vaguely, you wonder how much they’d mind if you yanked Sebastian away from them to give him a kiss. A big fat whopping breath-stealing mind-turning stomach-aching kiss.

You’re going crazy. This whole thing is crazy. You say hi to the three of them and pretend like you’re not plotting this whole thing in your head. They seem none the wiser to your conflicts, and give you amicable greetings as you shift closer to where Sebastian is standing.

He almost blends in with the rest of the night, all black hair and black clothes, but the torches on the dock light him up just enough for you to see his skin and eyes and smile as he glances at you. You greet him, no smile on your part, but a sweet sort of look in your eyes that you hope he’ll catch onto soon. (You don’t think he does.)

He makes space for you to stand next to him, between some empty box and the odd warmth of his body. You take the offer. You’re standing, next to him, so close that you can almost smell the tea tree oil of his shampoo wafting off of him. You think you’re going crazy. You’re going crazy. You look at him, and he looks at you.

Sebastian has a serious look in his eyes, eyebrows furrowed and lips downturned. “I thought I saw something moving in there… something big. Something dark.” You nearly nod along to whatever he’s saying from habit. There’s a second or two where you realize how absurd his words are, and he sees it in your face because he goes, “Just trying to scare you.”

Now he’s teasing you, a smile and a fun kind of glint in the way he does it. The thought crosses your mind to warn him, tell him that he shouldn’t play jokes with you like that because it might make you kiss him silly on this beach before the stupid jellyfish even get here. Then you wave the thought away, because really—that wouldn’t be the final straw. The final straw has been broken for days now. Even weeks. Maybe since the first day you spoke to him and he talked so incredulously about how you could’ve picked Pelican Town as a place to live, but you’d like to think you have more self control than to let a love-at-first-sight kind of deal happen like that.

“You’re funny,” you say back, and you hope it doesn’t sound too strangled. “I think I almost believed you.”

“Really? I didn't expect that. I thought you would’ve called my bluff.”

You could tell me anything and I would believe you, you want to tell him. You could tell me there’s a monster in the sea. You could tell me you made the sun and the stars and the moon and the clouds. You could tell me you’re a jellyfish. I would totally believe you.

You don't say any of that. Because that would be embarrassing. Sam says something, and then Abigail says something, and then Sebastian is turning himself around to talk to them now. Sam and Abigail are nice, and you’re close enough to them where if you joined into their conversation it wouldn’t be awkward or unwelcome.

But there’s something telling you to stay quiet. Anxiety, maybe, fear of saying something stupid and ruining every friendship you’ve made in this town. It’s a crazy hyperbolic thought but it’s enough to make you keep your mouth clamped shut. It’s fine. You listen and turn your head to them and nod along with whatever they say, something about the jellyfish being poisonous and how bad would it be if you reached your hand in and grabbed one, and—?

“It’s starting!” Someone says distantly, and your head snaps back to face the ocean just as lights glow from underneath and the forms of sea creatures illuminate themselves. It’s beautiful. It really, really is beautiful, and you think that you should’ve taken everyone’s word that this was a wonderful event, something you really shouldn’t miss out on, something gorgeous and unimaginable and isn’t it crazy we get to see this every year?

The glow pulses bright enough for you to see more of Sebastian’s face from beneath the darkness of the night. You glance to the side, slowly and subtly (or at least, you hope so). His eyes are bright, and just a little bit wider, and there’s a twitch of his mouth as if he’s holding back a smile. As if he would be embarrassed to let it show how much he likes seeing this.

He smiles, big this time, and it’s one of those downward smiles where the corners of his mouth are tucked in and his cheeks are flushed and you are going to kiss him. You are totally going to kiss him, right now, because now he’s looking at you and the smile still hasn’t left his face and you hope you’re not unsettling him by how you’re ignoring the jellyfish at this point just to stare at him.

Sebastian is not unsettled. At least, not outwardly. He’s staring back and it’s soft now. And his stupid smile is still there. It hasn’t moved, hasn’t changed the way that his gaze had, and you hope it’s not because he has the same affinity for you that he has for the jellyfish. You’d like to be more than the jellyfish, maybe.

You’d like to be more. A little more. And you think, just a little bit more time, and you could kiss him. You could kiss him tonight. You could.

You don’t. Your head turns back to the ocean and you’re shocked at the level of self control you just displayed. It’s almost unbelievable. This whole plan, this whole dream had been built up over weeks now and here you were, being patient. It’s uncharacteristic. You wonder. Wonder wonder wonder.

From beside you, Sebastian doesn't deflate, but there’s a moment of hesitation before he turns to face the same direction as you. Maybe he understands. Maybe he knows. You hope he doesn’t know. You hope this is your own secret to keep.

Minutes pass, and the ceremony ends. The rest of it is nothing short of incredible and wonderful and spectacular and every word you could possibly use to describe it. Your legs buzz from disuse as you push yourself to stand up. (You don’t notice Sebastian hesitating to stick a hand out for support before pulling it back to his side.)

“I like this place,” you say absentmindedly, and suddenly everyone is turned to you—not just Sebastian, but Abigail and Sam and maybe even Vincent from further up the dock. “This was really nice. Thank you all for letting me stay here.”

There’s a pause, and you can’t believe any of that just came out of your mouth. It was cheesy and sappy and insane. This night has rotted your mind so much it’s starting to ooze out of your mouth. You hate this town. You love it. You let them know.

“Of course, man!” Sam is exuberant, and he smiles at you. “I guess at first it was weird having someone new here, because no one new ever comes here. But you’re great. And you’ve done so much for all of us. Really.”

Abigail nods along, a firm gesture paired with this triumphant sort of smile that makes your chest warm. “Really. Like, yeah, maybe it sucked having my old hang-out place taken over by a stranger.” (Sam elbows her. She yelps indignantly.) “But you’ve kind of made it worth it. Thanks for everything, too.”

It’s sweet. It’s all so sweet it makes your teeth ache and your head ache and your stomach ache. You’re hit with a sudden need to go home, and it’s the first time you’ve really felt like you knew where home was. It’s weird. Your legs ache, now.

Your head is muffled. You think you nod to all of them and you hope the appreciation and care in your eyes is enough to make up for your stunted responses. People are packing up and going home. Sam and Abigail give some sort of look in your direction, not unkind, but unusual, and suddenly Sebastian is thanking you for the night and asking to walk you home. You want to kiss him. Kiss him. Hold his hand and kiss him and trace his palm and maybe throw him into the ocean with the possibly-poisonous jellyfish remnants.

It’s quiet as he walks you home. Faintly, you realize how out of character this is for him. But this whole night has been full of out-of-character things for you and him and everybody. This is so weird. You’re going crazy. You’re going to kiss him.

Or, you think, for sure, that you’ll kiss him even if it wasn’t in front of the docks or the jellyfish or his friends—you think, for sure, the rest of this night is going to be made up of you kissing him silly on your doorstep and then collapsing in your bed and moving back to the city in shame.

But. But but but. But. There is something. And you don’t know what it is. And you don’t know if he’d kiss you too, but maybe. But. But but but. You don’t.

You’re at your doorstep. You thank him. And now, you are both waiting expectantly at your door for something to happen. You need to make it happen. Now. You need to kiss him and you won’t move and your stomach is aching and you think maybe you have a shellfish allergy.

“I feel sick.” It’s not a lie, and you really are two steps away from throwing up on his shoes and you really, really don't want that to happen—if you throw up on his shoes, then you’ll never be able to kiss him, because every time you reach for him he’ll be struck by the memory of you splattering vomit all over his sneakers and then he’ll ask you politely to move back to Zuzu City and never look back. (You think this is accurate.)

“Get to bed,” he tells you, and you’re shocked to hear him speak after so long. “It’s been a long night.” He’s polite, he’s kind, he’s so so kind that it’s stabbing you in the chest and twisting around your insides and why couldn't you just kiss him like a normal person?!

Okay, you think you say. Okay okay okay. His brow is furrowed and his lips are downturned but not in that odd smiley way of his. He’s just worried, now, and you think you’re going to be sick, for real this time.

You don’t tell him goodnight, but the slam of the door in his face is probably enough of a signal. You’re embarrassed. You didn't even kiss him. You can’t even tell if this night is a success or not. Kitty walks across your feet and looks up at you as if she knows what kind of clusterfuck of a night you just had. What a little shit. You let her follow you to bed and sit on your chest while her deep breaths lull you to sleep.

You didn't kiss him. What a wreck. What a joke. You’ll kiss him tomorrow for sure. Kiss him silly.

[salt-n-salt]

Oh my gosh, hi! I love your art so much!! I noticed you're letting people drop their farmer's in for a doodle, and I couldn't resist.

This is Oakland, my Farmer! She goes by Oak with her friends, and Acorn to her parents. She was previously military, which is where she got most of her scars from; the other scars are from the monsters that try to attack her animals at night. She can't use a sword for shit, but she's a great marksman and uses a shotgun. She's going gray at 26, has pretty harsh wrinkles around her eyes and mouth from scowling so much. She found a second family in Shane(<3), Marnie, and Jas, and is best buds with Gus and Kent. (Don't tell Marnie, but she hates Lewis with every ounce of her soul and would absoLUTELY shoot him if Marnie gave her permission) She's a little batshit, but I think she's neat.

Lmk what you think! :) I truly adore your work, and I can't wait to see the other doodles you'll post. I hope you have a lovely rest of your week! Take care! <3

god damn what’s it like having the best farmer. r u kidding me rn. id let her fire a big fat shell at me any day. PHEWWWWW 😋😋😋😋

[justaz]

all this was to say that lance had the perfect set up for a deep, beautiful character arc but…well. we all know what happened. he’s arrogant, overconfident, and cocky and this ends up with him making mistakes and costing his team a pretty run with the flight sim. yet you can see in that episode with the yupper that lance has a deep insecurity that he buries and hides under smirks and quips and a whole lotta pride. (they also could’ve tied it to his family as well since they gave him multiple siblings which would’ve overshadowed his accomplishments which is the root of him striving for greatness and perfection so much that he gets tunnel vision and his team pays the price, but i digress.) with his competition/rivalry with keith, the star student who is effortlessly talented, it would’ve been beautiful for them to be equals as coleaders without them realizing. it wasn’t a conscious decision for either of them but lance’s little line from the first episode had more truth than he realized - “lance and keith, neck and neck”.

and then to lose that along with himself when kuron takes control of the team, to watch him struggle and flounder and fall deeper into his insecurities, his pride and ego wounded so much that he is unsure of his every move, his every word, his every breath. it would’ve been PERFECT for him to figure out that kuron was a clone and that the team was under galran command. lance being forced into the leadership role, much like keith was, and having to make decisions and choices for the team as black paladin - still being so unsure of what he’s doing and if it’s right. he full heartedly believes that the team needs keith back, they can’t do this without him, but keith is on the space whale and no one can get ahold of him so it’s up to lance. lance who slowly heals the deep wound within him that has him believing that he’ll never be good enough and grows his confidence back on solid ground. lance who becomes steady and sure of himself and leads the team almost effortlessly.

all this paralleling keith’s character arc which (ofc) happened off screen in canon. keith who was restless and explosive for years bc he never had a mother, his father died when he was young, he was bounced around from foster home to foster home, and once he found a permanent home, shiro goes missing and is presumed dead. keith who is constantly searching for something he can’t name and finding his mother and is forced to be with her for two years while glimpsing the past and future. keith seeing his parents meet and fall in love, watching as his mother practically tore herself apart inside as she left him and his father behind - feeling a piece of him settle within at the sight. she didn’t want to leave, she would’ve given anything to stay. watching his father and shiro raise him, their love unconditional until the day they left. krolia watching little keith rage at the injustice and being there for his older self and healing those wounds. settling every restless piece within him until he became the man who stepped back onto the castleship with a space wolf, an altean, and his alien mom.

keith and lance finding a shred of stability with one another as coleaders of voltron and best friends since they definitely grew closer during s3. they were attached at the hip, they did everything together, the line between platonic and romantic blurred so much that it wasn’t even there anymore, it was just them. but it was unhealthy how close they were, how dependent they were on one another. only to be torn apart and with their unhealthy codependency, they completely fall apart without the other there so theyre forced to rebuild the foundations of their beings. lance crumbles all alone as he and the team become distant and he rebuilds as black paladin. keith crumbles alone at the blade hopping from mission to mission and rebuilds on the space whale with his mother.

steady keith and lance meeting almost like for the first time after lance and the team took out kuron and keith and krolia found a hidden altea. together they turn on lotor and take him down too. since kuron has already been dealt with, lotor didn’t get away and all that other shit in canon didn’t happen so they get to remain in space until they take the empire completely. allura places shiro into the clone’s body and meets romelle and talks of freeing the hidden altea after the war is over and theyre not at risk anymore. keith and lance are unsure of how to proceed with the whole leader thing but there again pops up the coleader resolution. as steadier, mature versions of themselves, keith has really stepped into the black paladin position while lance had always been more suited for red. keith and lance, leader and his right hand, but they’re equals. theres no competition, no rivalry, no jealousy or envy, just respect and love.

[konigsblog]

Orla I am in love with farmer Graves! Imagine you have a little girl (after giving him a couple boys of course) and you’re so excited because you get to have company while your in the house while the men do all the hard farm work. I feel like he would spoil the hell out of a little girl idk he just gives me that vibe

definitely, he wants a little girl to spoil with princess dresses and tiaras, he definitely buys her a pony :( ☀️

whenever you're ill, he takes care of his sweet girl. brushing her blonde hair, his double sat infront of him, watching as she starts playing with her barbie dolls and teddy bears while he's brushing through her hair, braiding it and tying it with a bow hair tie.

your daughter is so, so affectionate :( you'll wake up, late in the night to find your daughter clinging to her daddy, her smaller hand resting atop of yours. the soft, quiet sounds of her breathing audible, her head rested beside philips ;((

holding your daughter and having her sit on your hip while you brush your teeth. the mint toothpaste against your teeth and your daughter's head against your chest, attempting to stay awake. you can hear the sounds of your boy's running downstairs in their boots, following their father to help on the farm.

his daughter definitely looks so much like her daddy :(

[dawnartworkzzz]

Female Leads

My take on the female leads from my saves! Sorry for some of the illegible writings, I just wanted to imagine how their signatures would look </3

Template below!

[puhpandas]

I treat fnaf theorists on YouTube like how wreck it ralph treated turbo like I watch a fnaf theorist that looked promising on the outside start making content farm videos and go "you're not going matpat are you"

[digenerate-trash]

What tfs do you think the other yan named NPCs like Harper or Wren would have..?

Bailey - dog. Like a stright up Doberman. Junkyard gaurd dog. Nasty as hell battle scars but can calm down in a second

Wren - some kind of falcon or other bird of prey. Pretty, and strong will rip your flesh from your bones.

Remy - you would think course wouldn't you??? Or cow?? Something farmy?? Nah. Cyote. Fucker shouldn't be entrusted with prey animals.

Avery - you'd be a rat. (But actually something more like a show animal. Fancy cat or dog.)

Eden - cougar. Don't ask. I just get this feeling

[princeof-flowers]

What if the taxes are already added to the prices of items you buy in Stardew Valley, like how a lot of the world does? Like a pizza is 600g, what percentage of that could the base price and what percentage could be tax? Cause when you sell it, it's 300g so maybe...half the price of an item is taxed?

Plus there's also the fact that there's a war going on. I wonder if that means war bonds and rations might be a thing in-universe?

[fraternum-momentum]

whot tha helll ororon babygirl coded ???????

[paintedmage]

Obsessed with this YuGiOh AU I thought up.

Since we don't know a lot about the Kaiba brother's past, especially before their orphanage days, I began to think of what kind of lives they must've had before everything changed. And an idea came to me.

What if Seto and Mokuba had been raised on a farm? Learning the meaning of hard work and dedication at an early age, being proud but honest kids. The thought of them growing up surrounded by farm animals was oddly adorable so I decided to go with it.

When their parents died, the farm was sold and Seto and Mokuba were sent to an orphanage. When adopted by Gozaburo, they were forced to forget all about that happy farm life. But part of Seto could never really forget those days where he had been truly happy. And of course he can never let anyone know who he used to be. Gozaburo drilled it into his head that being a "dirty farmer boy" was something low and to be ashamed of.

However, by chance, while still in school and on a field trip he's forced to go on (Mokuba made him because Mokuba wanted pictures and Kaiba just can't say no to his brother) to a farm, Yugi(along with Atem because if it's gonna be an AU, Atem has to stay) and the others happen to notice how at peace Kaiba seems to be out here. It's strange to them; a jerk CEO tech titan like Kaiba, content on a farm?

Then a herd of chickens, Kaiba's favorite, breaks loose from the farmhands, and without a second thought, mind immediately going back to his happier childhood, Kaiba strides forwards and starts calling the chickens the way his parents taught him, herding them into a group, giving neck scratches and headpats to the chickens while everyone just stares in silent shock, until Atem breaks the silence by saying that was incredible, asking Kaiba how he did that.

Kaiba, in a corner now, admits that when he was born on a farm. Joey snickers at the thought of Kaiba being a farm boy, however Atem says that's amazing. Kaiba had once been a farmer; people responsible for growing and raising food for others, the backbone of society. It was something he should feel proud of. And it's the first time someone's ever said that to Kaiba, and it really makes him reflect throughout the rest of the day.

So, Kaiba decides maybe embracing some of his past isn't so bad after all. He buys back his parents' farm and moves back into it, turning the Kaiba Mansion into a community center for Domino City. Kaiba fills his farm with chickens and goats just like it used to be, growing berries for jams and baked goods. For once in his life, Kaiba feels like he's home.

Running the farm also gives Kaiba some new ideas for KaibaCorp products, designed to help farmers; collars for livestock to track their health and detect disease early to minimize herd infection, smart spinklers that monitor weather patterns and soil moisture to ensure crops are watered the right amount between rainfall, and making more efficient harvester attachments for tractors. By combining both his past with his present, Kaiba feels a sense of contentment he hasn't in a long time.

[aliendragondreaming]

they make me so siiiiiiikick!!!!!!!!

[fizzytoo]

i wanna have a picnic w the beautiful strong women on the beach :(

[junespriince]

my ugly assssss old man,,,, art block mad this so much more harder than it need to be

his in-game looks too, he is an old mentor to @nebulous-shatin farmer, I might suffer the art block but I def will write about them

old man yaoi with Hayden thooooo

[analiavs]

If NPCs got TFed Headcanons: Remy edition

COW

Wears a tube top when he's lactating. Thinks it's discreet

Tiny horns, knows how to use the tail as a whip

Secretly disappointed his dick and chest didn't get bigger. Think the shitty anime trope.

Wears a hypnotic cowbell

How it happened: drug osmosis from too much bull dick

his centaurs aren't sure how to feel about him. if they should treat him like a lil dumb cow or maintain the hierarchy. his intensive grooming sessions are more interesting now

bad end: getting discovered and being made a member of his own herd

WOLF

How it happened: Saw big dicked wolfboys out hunting and officially was trying to catch some for hybrid testing but kept having fun with them/getting captured by them

Desperately wants to get alpha status but he's an omega.

His fangs are tiny, the more "feral" he gets the less clothes he likes to wear

sad because his centaurs get spooked by him now

bad end: the pack alpha gets tired of one of his best fucks running off whenever they feel like

CAT

How it happened: Drank way too much of both kinds of milk

its a common upper class tf so he's not too pressed

his clothes get fancier and fancier and he takes his personal grooming even more serious, kind of a juxtaposition to his job. hypnotic cat bell

his spoiled tendencies get worse, he's a fancy cat like a chartreux or something.

bad end: there isn't one. might train some Bull servants to feed him milk and pipe him whenever he wants... he's just super spoiled

FOX

idk how it happened. he goes around "stealing" people with the biggest assets he can find. Tiny fangs

HAWK

How it happened: Looked up to the sky and saw a giant dick coming towards him. Attached to the dick was great hawk. His lackeys tried to get him back, but they also didn't want to go deep into the moor.

At least his feathers are very pretty, but he's too scared to fly. effectively trapped on the tower. But is cool with it because great hawk is packing

Bad end: getting returned by great hawk

Angel

Obsessed with keeping the cows pure despite milking them for all their worth. deeply repressed. if he's checking on the centaurs or livestock during a bloodmoon is probably coming back fallen.

Succubus

Adds another layer of depravity to the fluid collection because he uses it as sustenance as well. Tiny fangs, heart tail. Thinks he's giving incubus but really is mothering at being a succubus