#faolan daniels

[faofinn]

DAY 8: panic

@febuwhump

Set when Finn's a teenager following his injury. An extension of an unpublished piece, a PE teacher forces him to run when he's struggling with the metalwork in his knee, and the rest is history...

After the state of Finn’s injury from the stupid PE sub, the hospital hadn't let him home. Once they’d got his knee back in place, he'd been left to sleep it off in resus before being moved to the ward. They'd not had a proper conversation with the orthopaedic team, but had been told they'd be up to see him soon. He'd finally got some rest, curled on the bed with Fred’s hand gripped tightly in his. Sheila hadn't managed to get away yet, and Fao must have been stuck in traffic, so the pair were left alone.

Fao hated being stuck in traffic. Fred had kept him and Alex updated, telling them Finn had been admitted to the ward and would be seen by orthopaedics then. Hopefully they were at least managing his pain better, and he wouldn’t be waiting too long. It looked like there had been an accident on the M25, so things were painfully slow so close to home. Eventually Fao managed to find a diversion that took them off the main road, and they could cut through to at least be heading in the right direction. They’d decided to go straight to the hospital, keen to cheer Finn up, rather than go home first. 

At least the pain had become more reasonable, the previously dislocated knee now in a brace and back in place. Unfortunately, that didn't stop the other leg from hurting, and that was agony. In between forced naps from drugs, the tears fell, everything so overwhelming. 

When Fao and Alex finally arrived it was close to evening, and Fao found somewhere to park after some difficulty. The pair of them headed in and up to the ward, where Fred had told them Finn was. 

“Knock, knock.” He said, rounding the corner to Finn’s bed. 

Finn jerked up, staring at the pair. He didn't quite know what to believe, his mind so clouded, and he blinked at them before turning to his dad. Based on his grin, he'd seen them too, so they were definitely real.

"Fao!"

Fao grinned. “Hey, Finn. Heard you’d gotten into a bit of mischief. Luckily we were on our way down to see you anyway.”

"You were?"

Alex smiled. “We were, because we had leave to use. What better thing to do than visit you?” 

Finn's lip wobbled. "But now we're stuck in hospital."

“It’s okay. Means we can make sure they’re treating you right.”

"We should have been doing stuff."

“We can do stuff another time.”

"That's not the point!"

“We’ll break you out of hospital and do stuff anyway.” Alex chipped in. 

Finn’s tears started to fall, completely overwhelmed and at the end of his rope. The pain wasn't as bad as it had been, but it was still awful, and he’d just really had enough. 

Fao frowned. “Oh, Finn. It’s okay.” He settled on the side of the bed, and pulled his brother in for a hug. “You’re gonna be alright.” 

Finn curled into his brother, gripping tight onto his top. He struggled to catch his breath, his sobs taking over. 

Fao rubbed his back. “It’s alright. I’ve got you.”

Eventually, his tears subsided, comforted by his brother. He pulled Fao closer to get comfortable, pinning his brother to the bed. It had been forever since he'd seen him last, so he wasn't just going to let him walk off. 

“Oh, I’m not going anywhere, am I?” Fao said lightly. “Sorry, Alex, I’ve been stolen for good.”

"Good. You're staying home."

“Is your pain okay now?” He asked. 

"Just tired."

“Understandably.”

"Will you stay if I sleep?"

“Of course.” Fao murmured. “You’re not getting rid of me.”

"Promise?"

“Promise.”

Fao let Finn doze off on him, his brother heavy against him. He was getting bigger and bigger every day, Fao swore every time he came home he’d grown even more. It hurt to see him stuck in hospital again, in pain and upset. Whilst he was more and more grown up, he was still a scared kid at heart. Hospitals didn’t have great memories for him. 

The orthopaedic team arrived after an hour or so, and Sheila had managed to get free, too. The consultant looked young, and friendly enough - he thought it might have been Finn’s consultant, but he wasn’t sure. It had been a while since he’d been to the appointments with him. 

“Hiya. Finn? Mr Daniels? And this must be the brother you talk so much about.” 

“Yeah, I’m Fao. Good to meet you.” 

Finn stayed dozing against Fao, not wanting to move or acknowledge the situation. 

“Finn?” The consultant tried again. “Can you tell me a bit about what’s been going on?”

He sighed heavily, the weight of the world on his shoulders. "It just really hurts. The leg doesn't work and I was made to use it and I dislocated that knee and this one just kills me."

He nodded. “You suffer quite badly with dislocations, don’t you?”

"Especially when the teacher is a dick."

“So, can you tell me what happened?”

"I don't know."

“The report from A&E said you were running?” 

"The dickhead teacher made me do PE."

“Well, that’s no good. And you’ve been having trouble with that other leg for a while, haven’t you? We’ve had a look at your old imaging and the new stuff from today, and we wanted to have a chat with you about it, if that’s okay.”

"What are you going to do?"

“Well, it looks like the screws at your knee have moved a bit more than the last images we took, and the nail itself has shifted too. We’d quite like to get rid of it for you. It should make things a lot more comfortable.”

Finn struggled to catch his breath, instinctively hiding his face against Fao. Removing them only meant one thing, another operation, and he didn't want it. 

Fao stroked through his hair, humming softly. “You were waiting for a date anyway, right? Now it means you won’t have to wait.” Fao murmured to him. 

“I know it’s a bit of a daunting prospect, but it’s a much easier surgery to heal from than putting it in, you’ll be out of here in a couple of days with no problem. We’ve got a slot on our list tomorrow for you.”

"No."

“I know it’s scary.” The consultant said gently. “Especially when you’ve been through a lot before.”

"Mum?"

“I’m here, Finn.” Sheila said. 

"You can tell them no."

“It’s not that simple, sweetie.”

"It is."

“Finn.” Fao said gently. “I know it’s scary, but once it’s gone it won’t be causing you problems anymore. You won’t have to deal with all that pain.”

He shook his head. "I don't want it. I don't want another operation."

“I know. It’s not nice, but it does need doing.”

"Please."

Fao glanced at the doctor. “Can we talk about it? Keep the slot, and just talk?”

“Of course. I’ll try to pop back later.”

Finn hesitated. "What time tomorrow?"

“Well, the timings haven’t been finalised yet. Is there a time that’s best for you, that would make you more comfortable? I can’t promise anything, obviously, but…”

"If we have to do it, then I want it done."

“You’ll feel a lot more comfortable with it taken out, I’m sure.”

"Fine. I'll have it done."

“Would it help if you were first on the list tomorrow? Less time waiting?”

He nodded. "Yes please."

“I’ll see if I can get that organised, yeah? Just need to have a chat with your mum and dad and then I’ll leave you in peace.”

"Did you want us to chat outside?" Sheila asked.

“That would be great. We’ve got some paperwork and stuff to go over.”

It didn’t take long to go through all the paperwork and other formalities with Sheila and Fred. Whilst Finn was a teenager now, and definitely took an active part of his treatment decision making, at the end of the day he still needed signatures from his parents on official paperwork. 

Finn curled further into Fao as they finished what they had to, feeling absolutely tiny. It was like he was back at the beginning again, the ten year old facing the world. But still, Fao was there. He was still looking after him, making sure everything was fine.

“Gonna be okay, Finn. You’ll feel so much better for it once it’s gone.” Fao soothed. “I had it done. On my arm, not my leg, but it was much better when they took it out.”

"I just don't want it."

“I know. It’s shit, isn’t it?”

"I wish it hadn't happened."

“It’s crap with what happened at PE, but this needed doing anyway. At least now you’re not stuck on the waiting list for months.”

Finn hummed. "I guess."

Fao and Alex stayed for as long as they could before they had to head home. Fao took his time saying goodbye, hugging his brother tightly. He hated having to leave him. Jess had joined them for a bit once she’d finished school, and that at least helped to perk Finn up a bit. 

After a less than perfect nights sleep at home, worried about Finn and the surgery and everything, Fao felt completely drained in the morning. He’d had nightmares about the accident itself, Finn’s lifeless, broken body in front of him at the foot of the stairs. Just thinking about the nightmares made him feel sick. He arrived at this hospital bright and early, Alex with him, and headed to Finn’s bed. 

Finn was beyond annoyed when the two arrived, hungry and tired and terrified. Being the teenager that he was, he brushed it off as just frustration, but it was easy to see through. 

Fao knew his brother was scared. Who wouldn’t be scared? He’d been through so much, and now he was having to go through even more. He tried his best to keep his spirits up, chatting and joking. Alex did her best too, but Finn was understandably hard to cheer up.  

When the porters arrived to take him, he paled further, his grip tightening on Fao’s hand. 

“It’s okay.” Fao reassured, squeezing his brother’s fingers. “Just a quick nap and it’ll all be over.”

"I can change my mind, can't I?"

“It’s alright. It’s scary, huh? But the sooner this is done the sooner it’s over.”

"Will you come with me?"

“Of course I will.” Fao said, glancing at the porters as if daring them to say something. The nurses and techs in anaesthetics would be a different story, but they’d cross that bridge when they got there. 

"Okay. I can do this." He muttered to himself. "I can do this."

Fao hummed. “Use it as an excuse for mum to give you whatever you want.”

He managed a smile. "I don't want anything else."

“Really? Nothing?”

"I want you to stay forever." Finn said quietly. 

“I wish I could.”

"You could." 

“I know, but it’s more complex. I’m gonna be staying for a while, though.”

"Until I'm properly better?"

“Whilst you heal up, yeah. I’ve asked to extend my leave.” They were at the doors to theatres now, and the porters stopped to look over at Fao. 

“You’ll have to say goodbye here, this is as far as you’re allowed.”

“Can you ask the nurse if I can come with? I’ve gone with him before in this hospital, it really helps Finn’s anxiety.” Fao asked, squeezing Finn’s fingers. “Please?” 

“Alright, wait here.” One of the porters disappeared inside, and after a few minutes, a nurse appeared. 

“We don’t normally allow relatives in.” She said. 

“No, I know.” Fao murmured. “But it really helps Finn to have a familiar face, he’s had to deal with so much. I’m a surgical registrar in Birmingham, I won’t get in the way. Promise. Please just let me stay with him, until he’s asleep?”

She wavered for a minute. “Alright. The anaesthetist today said it would be alright.”

“Thank you.” Fao breathed. 

They headed inside, down the colder theatre corridors and into a small anaesthetic room. Fao stuck close by his brother, as he shuffled across onto their bed. 

Finn squeezed his eyes shut, pretending he was literally anywhere else. The panic had well and truly sunk its teeth in him and he couldn’t breathe. Blood rushed in his ears and he felt sick. If he trusted his legs, he'd have bolted, but he knew the dizziness would have put him on his knees. 

Finn had gone very, very pale. “Hey, Finn?” Fao said, moving closer whilst doing his best to stay out of the staff’s way. “What do you wanna do after? My treat. Just the two of us.”

It took him a moment to realise Fao was speaking to him, but he'd still not managed to make out his words. He shook his head, eyes searching Fao's face.

“It’s alright.” Fao soothed. “I’m here.”

He launched himself at Fao, ignoring the anaesthetist's complaints. "Fao, I can't do this. I can't. Please."

Fao wrapped his arms around his brother. “Hey, hey. I thought you were the brave one.” He said. “It’s gonna be okay, you can do this. I’ll be right with you.”

"I'm not, I'm really not." His lip trembled, tears threatening to fall. 

“Of course you are. You’re gonna be just fine.” Fao said. “It’s just a nap, yeah?”

"I can't do this, I need to go home. I can't, I need Lion and to go home. Lion was here, where’s he gone? We need to go."

Fao dug around in the bed. “Lion’s here.” He said, finding the little toy tucked down the side of the bedrail. “Take him, give him a hug and take a deep breath.”

He didn’t need to be told twice to grab Lion, pulling him tight to his chest. The second part of Fao's instructions weren't so easily followed, but the nurse by his other side gently took his hand. 

"It's okay, Finn. Just borrowing this hand, okay?"

Finn realised too late what she was doing, giving a pitiful whimper as he curled further into Fao. 

“It’s okay. You just focus on me, breathe with me. In and out.”

Slowly, Finn followed Fao's instructions, allowing himself to relax back into the bed.

“There you go, well done.” Fao said. “Think of something nice, yeah?”

A small smile managed to settle on his lips, tear tracks still down his cheeks. "Can we go away?"

“On holiday?” Fao asked, brushing some hair out of Finn’s face. “Of course. Wanna go to Edinburgh? I can show you where I used to live.”

"Yeah." He nodded, feeling so small. "Just us."

“Just us.” Fao echoed. “We’ll book a fancy hotel in the city.”

"And I'll be better?"

“Yeah. This is gonna make you better. Stop your leg from hurting so much.”

"Okay."

“Well done, Finn. I knew you were the brave one.” Fao praised. 

He shook his head. "Can I tell you a secret?"

“Yeah, of course you can.”

"'m only brave 'cause of you."

“Yeah? Still sound pretty brave to me.”

He shook his head. "Just 'cause of you."

“Guess I better stay with you, then.”

"Forever." He murmured, pulling his hand back to scrub at his face.

“For as long as I can.” Fao told him. “Don’t rub your face, hmm?”

"But 'm sleepy."

“Why not go to sleep, then?” Fao said gently, tucking Lion closer to Finn. 

"You'll be here when I wake up?"

“Yeah, I will be.”

"Why don't you give your brother a hug before you go to sleep?" 

Finn sighed. "Okay."

“Big hug, c’mon.” Fao said, leaning over the bed. “Try and squish me.”

Finn tried his hardest, but it was pathetic at best. He gave Fao a squeeze though, falling back onto the bed as he held his hand.

“Oof, big squeeze.” Fao said lightly. “Thank you. Love you lots.”

"Alrighty, Finn. Keep doing those deep breaths, I'm just gonna put this mask on. You're doing great." 

Finn gave a gentle whine, looking at Fao. He batted the mask from his face, taking the anaesthetist by surprise and pulling Fao closer. He tapped three times, telling Fao he loved him as he slipped. 

Fao tapped back, helping Finn to lay back down against the bed. He let the anaesthetist back in, so they could finish what they were doing, the mask back over Finn’s face. He pressed a kiss to his brother’s forehead, squeezing his hand as he slipped off to sleep.

[eliaswoodt]

The Name List

Organized from A-Z (yes I will add more names whenever I find more I like, probably in reblogs)

I currently have 1035 names (and that’s only including the first names. I have a list of last names, too.)

Angel, Atticus, Atlas, Apollo, Ares, Athena, Achilles, Artemis, Adonis, Avery, Aubrey, Aubry, Aceline, Ashlynn, Aislinn, Anjanette, Arthur, Archer, Addison, Arrietty, Amity, Autumn, Alastor, Alastair, Alasdair, Alistair, Alison, Arren, Arin, Astra, Aoife, Adalyn, Adeleine, Astoria, Agnes, Angus, Abigail, Ann, Anne, Ambrose, Adeline, Avarsel, Agatha, Ari, Azariah, Aniyah, Armani, Anastasia, Annabelle, Adah, Adelaide, Avis, Amelia, August, Axel, Adelina, Amir, Amin, Ayala, Arne, Averett, Adil, Astro, Ava, Anti, Ailun, Akemi, Asahi, Akari, Asako, Atsuko, Azumi, Aka, Aren, Akko

Blossom, Bambi, Babs, Bo, Bella, Blair, Bea, Bonnabel, Badeea, Betty, Bailey, Boris, Bee, Bugs, Blaise, Benjamin, Bog, Buford, Beatrice, Bryce, Bryan, Bazil, Brutus, Bellamy, Brigitte, Bailee, Bailey, Bao, Belladona, Belladonna, Bell, Bill, Bishop, Bones, Boneothy, Benno, Behemoth, Barry, Bellynn, Bowie, Bunki

Clover, Canyon, Cleo, Cameron, Celestial, Celestino, Ciro, Camilo, Cain, Charlotte, Clara, Corey, Cin, Charlie, Cassidy, Chiara, Callista, Cisco, Cynthia, Casper Clinton, Celestina, Clement, Christopher, Cornelius, Clifford, Claudius, Carey, Carrie, Coatl, Cyrus, Cyril, Cecil, Caisus, Castiel, Calla, Cosmos, Cherry, Cheryl, Crowley, Crow, Cassius, Cliodna, Clíodhna, Cliona, Conan, Cordelia, Calypso, Cas, Cillian, Chiyo, Chiaki, Chihiro, Calcifer

Danny, Darlene, Dex, Dot, Diana, Daphne, Demeter, Daedalus, Daeddel, Darphel, Dawn, Derrick, Derek, Dravan, Dravid, Drae, Dallas, Dimas, Dominic, Damien, Drew, Delilah, Dakota, Darian, Darius, Darwin, Devan, Darla, Dagmar, Daelyn, Dale, Dae, Dacey, Desmond, Dabria, Daniel, Daniela, Danialla, David, Davis, Donnel, Dennis, Demitrius, Delaney, Daiki, Daiyu

Everest, Emery, Ember, Elliott, Elliot, Earlana, Eliseo, Ezequiel, Emie, Evan, Eloise, Eric, Emmet, Elizabeth, Eugene, Ethan, Eret, Ester, Elias, Eos, Ellis, Edwin, Ebony, Elijah, Eliza, Enzo, Elissa, Edward, Eddalyn, Esther, Eda, Edalyn, Edalynn, Edison, Eddison, Estervan, Emma, Eden, Erfan, Eun-hae, Erytheia, Egan, Errol, Eiichi, Eiji, Eriko, Etsu, Etsuko, Eiichiro, Ezume

Flint, Finn, Fae, Fred, Fritz, Fang, Frankie, Frank, Fermin, Freddie, Freddy, Finley, Freya, Fai, Felix, Freda, Faolan, Frey, Feylynn, Faelynn, Failynn, Felipa, Febby, Febbie, Febie, Feby, Flynn, Fuji, Feiyu, Fukiko, Fumitaka, Fumito, Fuyuko

Griffin, Garnet, Gothi, Gertrude, Gabe, Grant, Giovanni, George, Gage, Gregory, Gabriel, Gabrielle, Guy, Gilbert, Guadalupe, Gerry, Grey, Gray, Gia, Grace, Gracian, Gracis, Gracie, Gretel, Gideon, Griffilow, Ghost, Ghazaleh, Gavin, Gryphon, Griffith, Goliath, Grayson, Greyson

Harmony, Hannah, Harlei, Harlie, Haritha, Haris, Harry, Harlan, Harvey, Hadrian, Harley, Hari, Harlow, Howl, Hank, Harper, Herbert, Humphrey, Hestia, Helios, Hephaestus, Hollis, Hunter, Hero, Henry, Helda, Hajar, Hasta, Hadis, Howard, Howie, Hannan, Haoyu, Hisako, Hachi, Hiroto, Hoshiko, Honoka, Hiroshi, Hiro, Haitao, Hamako, Haruhi, Harue, Hayate, Hide, Hideyo, Hidetaka, Hisaye, Hisayo, Heiji, Higari

Ivy, Ivey, Ivo, Ida, Iris, Ilyssa, Illy, Irene, Iren, Isaiah, Ira, Idelle, Ivan, Illaoi, Isabel, Isabell, Isabelle, Isobell, Isabella, Ismelda, Io, Ismael, Isolt, Icarus, izuru, Isamu, Itona, Ichiro, Ichiko, Ichigo, Isoko, Ishiko, Isaye, Inari, Ikuko, Itsuki, Itsuko, Inosuke

Juniper, Jupiter, Jinx, Jamie, Javier, Josiah, Joan, Jake, Julia, Jamil, Jamila, Jesse, Jessie, Jess, Jasper, Janus, Jordan, Joshua, Julian, Juilliard, Julius, Juliana, Jeremiah, Jace, June, Junebug, Jazzy, Jackson, Jackie, Jackalynn, Jodie, Johnnie, Jan, Jaime, Jason, Jorge, Justin, Justice, John, Jay, Janelle, James, Jennifer, Jillion, Jill, Jana, Jonah, Jaycee, Jaxen, Junpei, Jona, Jun, Jin

Kenneth, Kat, Kas, Kris, Keith, Kingston, Kaeton, Kingsley, Kent, Katherine, Kyle, Knox, Kristen, Kristin, Kristeen, Kylie, Kaylee, Kamila, Kehlani, Kendall, Kerry, Kry, Kenny, Kath, Kathleen, Krow, Kix, Kedrick, Kennon, Klaus, Killian, Korallia, Krank, Kaz, Kaede, Kirara, Katsuhiko, Keisuke, Kanako, Kenji, Kaemon, Kamin, Katsu, Kaki, Kazane, Kazuyuki, Kazushige, Kenta, Kei, Kimi, Kin, Kohako, Koichi, Kota, Koji, Koharu, Kosuke, Kuma, Kumi, Kuniko, Kuniyuki, Kideko, Kazuko

Lullaby, Lotte, Lapin, Lorelei, Loralai, Lorelai, Luna, Lily, Lucy, Lee, Liana, Lola, Lethe, Lance, Laurence, Luther, Luca, Lennon, Logan, Lennox, Ilias, Liu, Lui, Luis, Lefu, Liam, Lyall, Lowell, Luella, Leona, Leonie, Leon, Lev, Lincoln, Lin, Link, Laverna, Lazarus, Lewis, Louis, Louise, Levi, Leslie, Lesley, Leilana

Marley, Marlai, Mei, May, Mae, Marceline, Marshall, Marshalee, Millie, Mallorie, Marcela, Melanie, Maddison, Mary, Mirabel, Marsh, Murphy, Montgomery, Mildred, Memphis, Molly, Maverick, Maurice, Muiris, Morgen, Max, Moses, Marion, Merrill, Monroe, Melanthios, Maxwell, Matias, Melissa, Maëlle, Marlene, Meredith, Maybelle, Margaret, Maeve, Moss, Mara, Maria, Myrtle, Mona, Mark, Markus, Michael, Micheal, Michelle, Mahsa, Minoo, Mehdi, Mohammad, Matin, Morpheus, Marlowe, Monica, Marilia, Magnus, Malachi, Malachy, Maggie, Makoto, Megumi, Mio, Maemo, Maemi, Masa, Masaaki, Masashi, Michi, Midori, Michinori, Momo, Motoko

Natasha, Noelle, Noni, Neville, Nixon, Neda, Natalio, Ned, Nausicaä, Noxis, Nova, Nathen, Newt, Noah, Nash, Nox, Nathara, Nathaira, Nathair, Nyoka, Nagisa, Nathan, Nate, Nik, Nick, Naohiro, Naoko, Nara, Natsu, Naoya, Nishi, Nobuko, Nori

Olindo, Ollie, Oliver, Ophelia, Odysseus, Orion, Osono, Oxen, Onyx, Otto, Ottoline, Otitile, Ottavia, Octavio, Olivia-Marie, Oakley, Omar, Olivia, Oscar, Octavian, Octavia, Oz, Octavius, Otta, Oisin, Orson, Orlos, Osiris, Owen, Odalis, Odell, Ozuru

Penelope, Patton, Paddy, Percy, Paulie, Page, Pazu, Phoebe, Phebe, Prairie, Porter, Parlay, Pally, Piper, Parker, Payton, Phil, Paul, Philip, Pyre, Piers, Phylis, Patricia, Payne, Payneton, Pip

Quinn, Quincy, Quil, Quinley, Quinstin, Quinlan, Quillen, Quavon, Quaylon, Quensley, Qing, Qrow, Quilla, Quianna, Quita, Qiao, Quinella, Queenie, Qaylah, Qailah, Qitarah, Quenby, Qadira, Qudsiyah, Quan, Qian, Quinby, Quella

Roseline, Raul, Rahul, Rafael, Roque, Rogelio, Remmy, Rei, Rey, Ray, Robin, Ro, Reika, Rowen, Rowan, Rose, Rosie, Ralsei, Riley, Remus, Rosalyn, Rosalin, Rosaline, Renata, Ron, Rat, Ratt, Reef, Roxy, River, Reed, Rufus, Robbie, Renee, Rivia, Ross, Rex, Ruth, Rosemary, Rosabe, Rosabee, Rosabell, Rosabelle, Rosabel, Rai, Rain, Rosella, Rosalie, Rhody, Robert, Raelinn, Rebane, Ren, Rollin, Ralph, Roxanne, Rox, Roderick, Reginald, Reggie, Rio, Ryu, Ryo, Ryoji, Rinmaru

Sage, Sam, Syd, Selkie, Storig, Sal, Sirius, Summer, Susie, Scott, Sunni, Sosuke, Sophie, Satsuki, Sheeta, San, Sulley, Sully, Savannah, Sappho, Selene, Shaw, Sean, Seán, Shaun, Sawyer, Sabrina, Sebastian, Shane, Stan, Socks, Snom, Stolas, Spencer, Sammie, Stevie, Samus, Sarff, Sullivan, Seth, Susiebell, Susiebelle, Sadreddin, Shellaine, Sverre, Saoirse, Sylvania, Sanae, Silas, Sumi, Shiori, Shinzu, Sile

Toby, Tobias, Teddy, Ted, Tomas, Thomas, Tomothy, Tyche, Taiga, Tundra, Tracy, Timothy, Troy, Tatum, Tommie, Tommy, Theia, Tae, Trix, Trixy, Thanathos, Tod, Todd, Toddy, Tora, Torie, Theodore, Theo, Theophania, Talos, Thanatos, Teddy, Tomohito, Tazu, Tanjirou, Touya

Ulysses, Urijah, Uriyah, Urina, Ukiah, Ulnar, Ursula, Ulric

Virgil, Vanessa, Vito, Venacio, Vylad, Veronica, Valentina, Violet, Velma, Venus, Verna, Veld, Victoria, Victorie, Vinyl, Vincent, Vasuki, Vex, Valor, Valentine, Valerie, Valeria, Valerius, Vitoria, Vic, Victor, Vik, Vikktor, Viktor, Vick, Vicky, Vicke, Vickie, Vidya

Wynn, Willow, Warren, Wilbur, Wylie, Will, Walle, Whisp, Wade, Wendell, Wendy, Willard, Wes, Wallace, Wilber, Wyatt, Wybie, Wynnie, Wennie, Winnie, Wynnston, Wynston, Wynsten, Wiles

Xenophon, Xuan, Xio, Xori, Xanthos, Xander, Xavier

Yen, Yukio, Yae, Yoko, Yume, Yaeko, Yui, Yuzuki

Zane, Zana, Zion, Zachary, Zach, Zachariah, Zander, Ziana, Zoe, Zula, Zenix, Zenith, Zaharia, Zaria, Zack, Zakaeia, Zara, Zakaria, Zev, Zaira, Zanata

[skylarynns-silverado]

Character Source List

Sources [usually films or television shows - anything else will have notation] will be in bold. Characters will be formatted with their in-universe name, followed by the original character in italics. Name formatting will be [First Name] [Middle Name] ["Nick Name"] [Maiden Name/Original Surname] [Married Name/Taken Surname] as applicable. I will probably also be adding links to everything, but later.

Wanted: Dead or Alive 1958-1961 Joshua Everett "Josh" Randall - Josh Randall

Rawhide 1959-1965 Randolph Jacob "Rowdy" Yates - Rowdy Yates

The Magnificent Seven 1960 Franklin Vaughn "Frank" Randall - Vin Giovanni Vittorio "Gio" Auditore - Bernardo O'Reilly Brittony "Britt" Calvin - Britt Byron Allen Lee III - Lee Carlos "Chico" Hernandez - Chico

The Dollars Trilogy 1964-1966 Jonas Blake "Joey" Yates - The Man With No Name / Joe/Manco/Blondie

Hang 'Em High 1968 Jeremy Cooper "Jed" Yates - Jed Cooper Rachel Warren - Rachel Warren

Once Upon a Time in the West 1969 Emilio "Harmonica" Arman - Harmonica Jorge Gutierrez - Cheyenne

Rustlers' Rhapsody 1985 Revelin "Rex" O'Houlihan - Rex O'Herlihan Peter Twist - Peter

Silverado 1985 [to be honest I'm taking almost all the characters, but main characters/love interests:] Emmett Martell - Emmett Paden Cassidy - Paden Tyree Ransom Ekker - Tyree Hannah Kincaid Weslan [Cobb] - Hannah Weslan Malachi "Mal" Johnson - Malachi "Mal" Johnson Jacob "Rattlesnake Jake" Martell - Jake Stella Bonneville - Stella Rae Johnson - Rae Johnson Phoebe Hartshorne - Phoebe

Quigley Down Under 1990 Matthew Quigley - Matthew Quigley

Maverick 1994 Bret Maverick [Jr.] - Bret Maverick Annabelle Bransford - Annabelle Bransford

The Marshal 1995 Veronica "Ronnie" Davis - Veronica Cole

The Quick and the Dead 1995 Jessamy "Jessie" MacIntyre - The Lady / Ellen Cameron "Cam" McPhee - The Kid / Fee Herod Cortney "Cort" Cobb - Cort

The Magnificent Seven 1998-2000 [much like Silverado I'm taking almost all the characters, but main characters/love interests:] Christian "Chris" Larabee - Chris Larabee Vincent Ulysses "Vin" Tanner - Vin Tanner Nathan Jackson - Nathan Jackson John Daniel "J.D." Dunne - J.D. Dunne Buck Wilmington - Buck Wilmington Ezra Phineas Standish - Ezra Standish Mary Travis - Mary Travis Casey Welles - Casey Welles Inez Recillos - Inez Recillos

Firefly 2002 Robert Malcolm "Bobby" Reynolds - Malcolm "Mal" Reynolds Zoe Martinez - Zoe Alleyne Washbourne Jayne Cobb - Jayne Cobb Eleena Vasquez - Inara Serra Simon Morgan - Simon Tam River Morgan - River Tam Kaylee Frye - Kaywinnit Lee "Kaylee" Frye Sheppard Book - Derrial Book

Supernatural 2005-2020 John Winchester - John Winchester Dean Winchester - Dean Winchester Samuel "Sam" Winchester - Samuel "Sam" Winchester

3:10 to Yuma 2007 Daniel "Dan" Evans - Daniel "Dan" Evans William "Will" Evans - William Evans Benjamin "Ben" Wade - Ben Wade Charles "Charlie" Prince - Charlie Prince

Six of Crows 2015 Caspian/Casimir "Caz" Zima Winters - Kaz Brekker Haruko - Inej Ghafa Christophe "Kit Benny" Benoit - Jesper Fahey Wyatt Vanderbilt - Wylan Van Eck Hannah "Nan" Gallagher - Nina Zenik

The Magnificent Seven 2016 Samuel "Sam" Chisolm - Sam Chisolm Joshua "Josh" Faraday - Josh Faraday Manuel Vasquez - Vasquez Goodnight "Goody" Robicheaux - Goodnight "Goody" Robicheaux Billy Rocks - Billy Rocks Red Harvest - Red Harvest Emma Cullen - Emma Cullen

The Hunters 2020 [a series I am currently working on writing] Elias Hawkins - Elias Walker Hawkins Lucas "Luke" Hearne - Faolan Lucas "Luke" MacTiernan Auryon "Aury" Hearne - Auryon "Aury" Hearne-MacTiernan Hawkins Sebastian "Owl Eyes" St. James Cheyenne - Sylvain Alistair Abigale "Abby" McKenzie - Kindra Arden

Jessta James Music Videos 2021-2022 [specifically Hell's Coming With Me, Loaded Gun, and War Cry] Josiah "Josey" James - Jessta James

Original Characters 2023+ [that I've made for the project] Melissa "Missy" Ekker - Tyree's mother Bethany "Beth" Skinner - a love interest

[chaotic-tired-bastard]

Morien the Last intrudes upon the peacefulness of Ever-Land in the middle of the night. The only thing keeping him from taking his anger out on Prince Somhairle is Lord Faolan. God help him. IE What the ever loving fuck happened to Faolan in chapter 48????

[inmentemusae]

BASIC INFORMATION

FULL NAME: Benedict Henry Kang II

NICKNAME: Ben, Beni 

AGE: Forever 34 

BIRTH DATE: 1st December 

GENDER: Male

SPECIES: Immortal Human

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Heteroromantic

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Heterosexual

RELIGION: Christianity

SPOKEN LANGUAGE: English, Mandarin, Russian. 

CURRENT LIVING CONDITIONS: Verse Dependant

OCCUPATION: Noble man, Former agent of H.E.A.V.E.N

RELATIONSHIPS

PARENTS:         • Charles Kang (Father)         • Beatrice Kang   (Mother) 

SIBLINGS:       • Adeline Kang (Sister,Twin) 

       • Alfred Kang (Brother) 

       • Daniel Kang (Brother, Twin) 

SIGNIFICANT OTHER:       • Sima Morningstar

CHILDREN:       • Briar Morningstar

FRIENDS:

  •  Phen Morningstar 

      •  Lien Xao 

      •  Anatasyia Zakharov

OTHER CONNECTIONS:

     •  Lucifer Morningstar 

     •  Faolan Lowell 

PHYSICAL TRAITS

EYE COLOUR: Brown

HAIR COLOUR: Brown

HEIGHT:  5’10”

BODY BUILD: Athletic/toned

TATTOOS + PIERCINGS: H.E.A.V.E.N tattoo on the inside of his left wrist. 

NOTABLE PHYSICAL TRAITS: Scar on his chest near his right lung. 

POWERS & ABILITIES

POWERS:

     •  Immortality     

ABILITIES:

     • Expert in hand-to-hand combat 

     • Expert with a sword

     • Good at playing the piano through his love of classical music

WEAKNESSES:

     • Celestial Weapons 

     • H.E.A.V.E.N

     • Losing the people he loves

PHOBIAS & DISORDERS

PHOBIAS: Despite his immortality, Benedict fears losing his humanity and becoming numb to the value of life. He also harbors deep fears of confinement and helplessness, stemming from his experiences with H.E.A.V.E.N.

MENTAL DISORDERS: PTSD

WHEN WAS THIS DIAGNOSED?: Since being free from H.E.A.V.E.N

PERSONALITY

PERSONALITY TYPE: ISFJ-T (Defender) MORAL ALIGNMENT: Lawful Neutral INTELLIGENCE: Highly intelligent 

LIKES:

Classical music 

Chess

Collecting antique watches

Playing piano 

DISLIKES:

Being betrayed

Being set up 

People being held captive

  DISPOSITION: Benedict is a paradox of sorts, displaying the polished charm of a nobleman while concealing an unyielding resolve and astuteness born from his unique experiences. Despite his immortality, he carries a certain melancholy and a depth of feeling that he seldom reveals to others.

EXTRAS: Has a notably old-fashioned way of speaking, often using terms and expressions from the late 1800s and early 1900s. Unconsciously holds his breath when in high-stress situations.

BIOGRAPHY

Benedict Henry Kang was born on the 1st of December 1860. He was the only child of the esteemed noble family ( the Kangs ) and grew up on a big estate with his parents. As he grew up, he loved classical music and was encouraged by his parents to take piano lessons, along with fencing - taking part in his school’s fencing tournaments with his classmates while he attended Eton, winning many that he took part in. 

 In 1891, Benedict was now a fine age of 31. He’d finished his schooling and had earned himself a degree from Oxford University before returning home to his family’s estate in Berkshire. He took up some business within London, meaning that he was often frequenting the city. During one of his trips into the city, he met a lovely young lady called Sima Morningstar. The pair became rather acquainted with one another and their several hours of talking led to many meet-ups before they started having a fling. The fling, however, ended only two years later, in 1893, after Sima’s fears got the better of her and she told him that she could not love him how he should be loved.

Heartbroken by the development, Benedict took another two years before he finally found himself a wife. As much as he did not want to marry someone he did not truly love, he required an heir to take over the estate if anything happened to him. In 1897, after two years of Marriage, they had a son, giving Benedict the heir he needed. The pair loved their son, even though Benedict struggled to love his wife. Despite the difficulties, Benedict still showed his son that he cared for his mother and loved her in a way that taught him to love a wife. 

World War I soon came about, disrupting the peaceful childhood that Benedict was trying to give his son. Thankfully his son was not old enough to be drafted into the war, being only fourteen when the war started. By the time World War I had come to an end in 1918, his son was twenty-one years old and ready to find himself a wife. His son found his wife during one of the seasons, courting her in the way a gentleman should before asking for her hand. The two married in the summer of 1924, and four years later ( 1928 ) they had twins; a boy and a girl. Benedict got to meet his two grandchildren, however, he’d hidden from his son that he was sick and had been for some time. His last wish was to meet his grandchildren and after he had, he passed away in his sleep, leaving his son to inherit the estate.

The Second World War hit when his son was forty-two, and the twins were only eleven. Given his age and status, the son was conscripted as an officer in the army where he fought for his country and was away from his family. Unfortunately, things took a turn for the worse when the son was killed during the battle of Dunkirk, in 1940.       Benedict watched all of this happen from above, having been given the chance to by Sima’s grandfather. Benedict was reunited with his son at the gates of Heaven as Azrael brought up his soul to join him. He was both glad and distraught to see his son there so soon, however, he offered him comfort in telling him that he’d done well with both the estate and his children.

 Once the son's family was informed of his death in action, the boy of the twins inherited the estate from his father. He struggled with his grief from losing his father and soon grew bitter, carrying the bitterness with him, into adulthood. He was looking through papers that had come across his desk one afternoon when he first came to know about this new organisation that had been started. Intrigued by it, he started funding them with some of the family’s money, much to his sister’s dismay over the matter.

        In 1951 he married out of spite, knowing that he too would need an heir, if only to keep his sister’s son from inheriting it. He and his wife soon had a son in 1959, called Charles. He was a harsh parent towards his son, unlike his father and grandfather before him, using rather unorthodox methods to punish him if he ever did something wrong. 

     When Charles was twenty-one his father ended up contracting cancer, it did not kill him right away, however. But in 1980 Charles attended a garden party, where he met a lovely young Lady called Beatrice. It was love at first sight and a year later the pair married. Despite their best efforts, they struggled to conceive and become parents. Luck finally seemed to be on their side, however, and on the 1st of December 1990, their first born son whom they called Benedict Henry Kang II, was born. Two years later in 1992, they had twins a boy and a girl, whom they named Adeline and Daniel. Then in 1996, their youngest Alfred was born.     Little did anyone know that Benedict was the original Benedict, resurrected again to walk the Earth by Yahweh, in the hope that he would once again cross paths with his granddaughter.

Growing up all four siblings had a close relationship with each other, but as they grew older and each of them matured and found their interests, Alfred gained his grandfather's traits of bitterness towards everything. Alfred began to start side deals with H.E.A.V.E.N having found out the family’s funding towards the organisation during one of his many sneaking snooping sessions in Charles’s study. All of the children were in their late teens and early twenties by that point. 

    Charles became sick and after copious visits by the doctor and appointments to the hospital, he came to the realisation that running the estate was something that he would be unable to do anymore and soon handed the estate over to Benedict to take charge of. Benedict took on the role of running the estate the way that his father had been running it before him but, when Alfred found out about Benedict getting control of the estate from their father he was disgusted by it. 

     Alfred played a cruel trick on his eldest brother by telling him that there was a business deal he believed Benedict would be highly interested in. When Benedict was at the business deal though, he found out about the organisation that was involved and refused to make a deal with them. An ‘Angel’ then shot Benedict in the chest, aiming for his right lung with a trajectory that dealt a fatal blow. With this wound, Benedict fell to the ground and soon bled out before “dying”. Both those of the organisation along with Alfred thought that he was dead but Benedict soon ‘resurrected’ much to the confusion of everyone. The organisation realised what that could mean and they quickly grabbed Benedict and took him away as a captive. 

      They soon made Benedict into an operative for H.E.A.V.E.N by turning him into an elite assassin. That was where he went under intense conditioning making him think of only the missions that he was sent on. Soon they sent him into the field to assassinate several high-profile people and he proved himself to be quite the efficient killer. 

     His next mission did not take long to come in and the ‘Angels’ told him that he was attending a gala in the city of London. He made his way there and donned a fine tuxedo to blend in with those around him, using his genuine title to get into the entire event. He intended to get in, observe, carry out his kill, and leave again, however, as he wanders about in his attempts to blend in, his eyes fall upon a figure that strikes familiarity within his old soul. As the woman turned to face him, he was met with the same eyes and smile that he’d once been very much in love with; Sima. There is an instant flash of memories and familiarity as the pair’s eyes meet, causing both of them to stop in their tracks. The mission he was sent on was suddenly forgotten about as the sight of her caused the conditioning that he’d endured, to all but fail, pulling him out of the ‘trance’ he’d been under for some time. 

   It did not take much for Sima to notice that Benedict was far from alone. Her own experiences had taught her to scan every inch of the room with her gaze and she made out several bodies that were far from in place at the event. Sima took it upon herself to lead Benedict away from the main party, under the guise of her trying to help him out with something. Benedict managed to just about play along with what she was doing and followed her until they were out of sight enough. He knew Sima well enough. He’d come to learn about her true nature during their fling back in his past life, so it came as no surprise to him when she used teleportation to escape the gala and ultimately, their clutches. 

[evadenly]

Bleeding Out - Whumptober Day 23

The First // The Last

Finn hadn't long been deployed, still fresh and yet to lose anyone. When the call came for medevac, his heart sank. IED Vs Humvee. It must have been major, falling most of the available resources to mobilize and go.

He was one of the first on scene, dropping to his knees beside a blonde and starting to treat. It didn't look good, too much blood everywhere and no signs of it slowing, despite the tourniquets and packing.

She comes to halfway through him pushing some painkillers, blinking up at him, terrified. He'd been taking to her since he arrived, recognising her as Wolfie's girl and trying even more to save her.

"Alex, right?" She nods, green eyes searching his face. "I'm Finn. It's gonna be okay. Are you still in pain?"

"It... it really hurts. Am I gonna die?"

Finn hesitates a second, his words catching in his throat, the lie sticking on his tongue. "You're going to be just fine."

He gives her some more morphine, checking with another medic that his fears were founded. Pulled aside, they nod.

"Keep her comfortable, that's all we can do now."

"Can't we take her back? She's Wolfie's girl...surely we can try?"

They shake their head. "Let her go."

Finn returns to Alex's side, brushing her bloodied hair from her face. "We're gonna get you back to Blackwood, okay? It's gonna be alright."

"I don't want to die."

"It's going to be okay. You're gonna be fine. Tell me about Fao."

She smiles through trembling lips. "He's the best...Braver than me. W-Wouldn't be crying l-like this."

"I'm sure he'd be crying worse. You're doing so well."

"We're gon-gonna get married. Have...have a family." Alex slurs, fighting the exhaustion. She's silent a minute before forcing her eyes open to look at him. "I'm scared, Finn."

He doesn't have the heart to lie to her any longer. "You're doing so well. There's nothing for you to worry about."

"How's Fao...Fao going to manage?"

Finn doesn't have the answer to that either. "He's gonna be there for you. Gonna be holding your hand instead of me."

"Don't leave." Panic flickers across her face, struggling to keep her eyes open.

"I'm not going anywhere." He promises, the only truthful words he's said.

He doesn't leave. He stays with her as she fights her last breath and gives in, and then, he cries. He promises her it's going to be alright, that Fao's going to be alright, and cries, holding her tight until they go to take her body back. They try to get Finn to travel separately, but he refuses and they don't have the heart to tell him no.

Fao's waiting for them when they get back, already breaking, already sobbing as Finn helps carry her through, one hand still in hers.

Finn looks up at Fao, holding her hand out.

"I promised I wouldn't leave."

[lareporteraimtrue]

Daniel O’Keefe (Laroche) & Ariande Faolan make their debut as a couple on the #AdlerAwards2020 red carpet 

[briannaswriter]

I was told I should take the high road. I should just accept that Hillary refuses to speak with me again. I shouldn’t expect answers from someone who won’t give them - has never given them. At the same time, I don’t feel like I can genuinely let this go without talking about it in a format that isn’t DMs.

This is really long, sorry? But I wanted to get all of it out because I want to be free of it, I don’t want it to keep being an ache in my heart whenever I think about it. 

tl;dr at the end. Feel free to reply, idc, I’ll get back to it tomorrow.  

I met Hillary in a group called @/heroesrpg in about 2012. While I was there, I operated under two pseudonyms: Miranda/Isa and Bea. The why for that is a long story. I have nothing negative to say about Hillary here! She was a great friend who taught me a lot about writing and challenged me to become a better writer. I don’t think I would have gotten this far without writing with her. When I left heroes in about 2013, we didn’t keep in touch. I didn’t really stay in the RP world so I didn’t pay attention to it.

In 2014, I was invited to join Ashbourne at her behest. I don’t recall the specifics of how I found it, I think it was simply me reaching out to her again and finding out she was in a group which she invited me to join, too. I ended up playing a woman named Nadeya Khan who was in a ship with her that was later discarded. Later I picked up Shiloh Morgan, the best friend of her character, Adam, and later Mira Lowell, the elder sister of her character Meyer.

I won’t lie, these dynamics were a lot of fun and I enjoyed playing them.

I was upset that my ship with Nadeya and Adam was discarded (I have a distaste for Adam and the FC Ben/edict Cumberba/tch now, I’m petty, sue me), but I think it was more sucky when all threads with them trickled to a halt. To me, it felt like my character was no longer important because it wasn’t a ship, even if a friendship dynamic would have been just as interesting. I ignored this feeling.

I was sad to leave the group, but I was uncomfortable with an interaction from another player and feeling pushed aside in favor of other ships so I made the decision to leave.

I did keep in touch with Hillary, or I attempted to, but once we were no longer in a group together, we just sorta drifted. We didn’t talk for the longest time here and I forgot her url for a long time. Frankly, I’m not sure how I found it again!

We started interacting again in about September 2018 when I think I reached out to her. This eventually ended with the creation of @lethe-rpg where we could write about old time favorite characters - and we wrote so much in Lethe’s run. Everything from romances, to long-lost parent, to siblings, to best friends, to unrequited loves. We wrote nearly twenty characters each and over ten ships in the time Lethe ran from September/October 2018 to June 2020 when it closed. Or, I should say, we wrote all of these things in theory and a lot of it happened behind the scenes in DM’s between us. When we did write things, they would frequently reach only a reply or two before we had to move onto the next one because she didn’t want to finish the one before. I’ll fully admit that I found this frustrating after a while - but I found it difficult to say no to her about anything, or to speak out against her.

Not only was she my friend, but I very much looked up to her. I considered her a mentor as much as a friend, and her approval meant a lot to me. It meant agreeing with dynamics I didn’t enjoy

pushing for a ship between my character Wesley and ANY of hers. Even if it was already mentioned to her that I had an ongoing connection with another character. If I tried to make this dynamic a friendly connection instead, it was promptly dropped altogether.

trying to get a ship between Gemma and Nate when I mentioned point blank that I didn’t want a pre-planned romantic thing with him after his other one failed.

the fact that Gemma and Lily didn’t get like any interactions completed together until I relented a little on Gemma/Nate. Any mention of them was largely forgotten. Half the time, Lily was treated like a child who hadn’t experienced any pain. Not just from Gemma, but from Gabe and from Hillary herself, who seemed to think that my young FC meant nothing compared to the history I had written for this character. Lily in general was ignored until she brought Lachlan along and prodded him into a ship with Lily. Do you know how many starters I wrote on Lily that were ignored?

the fact that Pat/Kate were the oldest ship in the group but they had like one completed thread the entire time lol.

the fact that Odette/Kate were the oldest family dynamic in the group who had like three NOTES between them.

the fact that Odette/Orion became a ship later who were just... never written. I can be honest now, I found them boring and I’m wondering if she felt the same, or if the lack of writing made me dislike them. Either way, Orion became a drain on my Odette muse, just as the lack of Kate/Odette was.

most stuff with Odette makes me sad. I feel like I had really good connections for her that... didn’t work out, and maybe I took to long to address it.

Mira/Andreas is a dynamic I blame myself on. I did feel sorta like I wasn’t getting anything written with her old ship, and I think me and the mun were drained on it, so while Mira was on hiatus and the mun for her last ship, Clark, was debating letting him go/killing him off, I didn’t mind discussing a new ship. I wanted this ship to be a slow burn, I wanted proper closer on the last one because it was a good ship and the mun is a good friend. This was handled with so little tact on her part, we were instantly hitting ship dynamics from the beginning and I found it callous. I dragged out replies just to avoid it. A shame, because I loved the dynamic, but the way it was handled put a bad taste in my mouth

she wanted an August/Delilah ship? Which I didn’t really want, but she’s really good at convincing you bit by bit that it’s a great idea. When I finally jumped onto this ship and flung myself into it, we got like two notes into it and nothing. Are you seeing the theme yet?

I got nothing against Arthur/Cora because I loved writing them, the only thing I did dislike is how rushed they were and how little I got to explore some of the Riverborn aspects of Arthur’s story with Cora. Also a pregnancy happened hella fast.

But I did have something against the Meadowes dynamic altogether: we had so many pieces of it to use that were never written. I failed sometimes on my part, but a lot of it was Hillary getting easily distracted by something else. Cora/Faolan were rarely written beyond the first reply to a thread. Gabe/Faolan were often two notes in and done. Faolan/Alistair lasted a bit longer, I was impressed. Gemma/Lily was mentioned above, but I’ll also mention how often she tried to take pieces of Faolan’s history and twist it to be her character’s pain without any consideration to previously discussed lore or connections. It wasn’t even about a connection anymore - it was about making her character the focal point. Look at how the Daniel Bisset, Aurelie, and Gabe things turned out: half of the plots were twisted to benefit Gabe’s momentum in the story, and the pieces of angst that should rightly lingered on Aurelie were shifted to the side. I didn’t even write that ship, and sometimes looking at them made me feel like a discarded sweater, but they were cute. Anyhow, this is long, moving on.

Faolan/Saby. I literally almost forgot about them, but like... Legit, I’m glad this ship ended because Saby was wholly too dependent on Faolan’s feelings for her, which he couldn’t even acknowledge because he was still in love with his two centuries deceased wife. Was this handled gracefully, did we get to slow-burn some of their stuff in writing? Sometimes. But again, they weren’t really written, and the ship was pushed and pushed, even when I wasn’t really interested in writing it because I didn’t want a ship for him yet.

Aliza/Tien was twisted out of me piece by piece, prodding at the parts of the Aliza/James connection I found uncomfortable (like the murder, like how difficult it was to plot after a point) until Tien seemed like the best answer. This was late enough into Lethe that I woke up enough to cut the ship off and drop the dynamic. In hindsight, I regret letting this even get so far.

Jonas. Just... most of the things written with him lol because he was constantly pushed onto my characters and others. Jo was hinted as a thing, Wesley was hinted as a thing, I think Nate was at one time. It definitely opened my eyes to the fact that she wanted a ship and that dynamics outside of that were largely ignored.

Do you know what it was like to put your heart into a character / story that was ignored ENTIRELY because she didn’t ship with them? Do you know what its like to be excited about a friendship or sibling or parental dynamic that... stopped getting written because your friend only wrote the character for a ship and the next shiny thing attracted her attention and instead of letting the character go, she made you think the next reply was right around the corner? Do you know how many threads we wrote that didn’t go anywhere, and how thrilled I was to write them still because I thought each time it would be different?

TL;DR: if it wasn’t a ship dynamic, it wasn’t written. If it was a ship dynamic, it was sometimes written. If you weren’t doing any of those things, you were ignored.

TL;DR 2: Do not misread this, please. I understand that RL comes first, I understand that dynamics change, that you’re allowed to change your mind. But do you realize how often I was strung along, or how often I was shoved aside? How hard it was to keep a character going sometimes because their big connection was only important for about a week?

and biting my tongue when my own feelings were callously ignored

when we wrote a ship between Selene/Gabe which was later discarded for a ship with Aurelie which had a much better chemistry, but was handled with little tact for my own feelings as I received constant updates on how their ship progressed, and also how the friendship we developed between Selene and Gabe was just dropped altogether - as it was with Adam/Nadeya so many years ago - instead of revamped to fit a changed dynamic as we discussed ooc.

when I would message her and be ignored unless it was about one of our ships

like the fact that I became an admin in Lethe to help her out and eventually the burdens of handling it were on my shoulders. I don’t mind this, but when it came to asking her for help on simple matters (sending me the psd for banners when I switched computers and no longer had it, posting a bio, skimming a post so I could verify it was okay to post, plotting out future events, posting unfollows/follows for people) or asking if she could write something from an admin post, getting a “sure! I’ll do that later!” and then finding out it wasn’t done for a week until I sucked it up and did it myself. We addressed this eventually, but Lethe ended shortly afterwards. 

So. That’s how the last two years have gone, and lord knows how much I’ve forgotten. Hillary and I wrote so much over the last two years, and we definitely grew close. I thought we were beyond just writing friends, that we might have been real friends (after all, we sent christmas/birthday gifts to each other. Hell, I still use the mouse pad she gave me).

I ignored the way she ignored me if we weren’t writing something interesting. I ignored the way she didn’t care about my characters even passively until I shipped with her in some form. I ignored how it felt when entire sections of a back and forth DM was ignored if she didn’t care about the character. I ignored how she refused to write with other people because she disliked their FC, or she didn’t want to write with the mun, or she found the character boring. Half the time, she found a character boring because she didn’t bother learning about them, and the moment she did read about them, they were intriguing. I ignored how she belittled my other ships with other players because “oh I don’t think they click” or “imo that one is boring” or tried to poach those characters to one of her ships. I ignored how she made me feel like a part-time friend sometimes and her best friend other times. 

I ignored the way she didn’t help with admin problems even when she knew admin duties were taking a toll on me as people demanded more and more from me. Not even when we discussed ways to handle things on both our parts to make it easier and promptly ignored them the first chance she got.

She made me feel so important when we would headcanon things. It felt like my characters were important, and that I was a good writer with clever ideas and intriguing characters, and that writing her was reaching a pinnacle that others couldn’t reach. She never said this, I’ll give her credit for that, but I have to admit, I felt like my characters didn’t work out unless I had a connection with her.

The last few months were eye opening. I had already spent the last year frustrating from her lack of leadership as an admin, and anger for the way she ignored people’s feelings even when it was pointed out and gave the bare minimum when interacting with other people, and sadness for the fun dynamics we had discussed but never wrote beyond the posted biography. When Lethe ended, I was ready to let it go and move on, I said my peace about my admin things and letting the characters go meant a fresh start. To me, we were friends REGARDLESS OF BEING IN A GROUP TOGETHER OR WRITING TOGETHER. You don’t talk about ooc things and ic things as much as we did only to stop talking the instant you’re done writing together, right?

Wrong. She didn’t even help us close the group that she created, or helped us discuss things with members who weren’t sure what was happening. I gave her time, just short messages about random things because I wanted her to know that I didn’t hold Lethe’s end against her, that we were friends anyway. Those messages were ignored. I gave her more time and then after nearly a month or maybe two, I finally messaged her on tumblr with a brief snippet on how thankful I was to know her because she helped me as a writer, and apologized if I implied Lethe ending was her fault (which I still agree that it wasn’t entirely, it was a situation handled callously and frankly I still think people should have considered that Hillary was barely 3% of the admin team at the time since Ally and I were shouldering the burdens of everything else). I mentioned how I felt like our friendship was being ignored because we weren’t writing together, and how I had thought after nearly two years of talking that we were friends enough to chat once in a while at least, but if we are only RP friends, let me know so at least I don’t have to fucking think about it.

Do you think that got a response?

It didn’t. She didn’t log into discord to chat about it or something else, she didn’t respond to the message, nothing. She quietly unfollowed me and then blocked me. She unfriended me on facebook, I feel like that’s answer enough.

I’ve known her at least eight years and while some of those times were brief, the last two years were most certainly not. And not only does it make me angry that I’ll never know whether she just dislikes me, or whether I made her uncomfortable, or what, I’m also just... really upset that I lost an eight year friendship. There’s only one person I know longer than her and I had hoped that, if not real friends, then we would still be able to meet up in another group together someday. Now it’ll never happen again, and it devastates me. I can count my friends on one hand and I thought, you know, that she was one of them. It feels like a physical blow whenever something comes up on the dash that involves her. I feel so stupid for thinking we were friends when she showed me her priorities in Ashbourne, when she showed me in little pieces here and there throughout Lethe. I feel stupid for writing this entire thing and crying about it. I feel stupid for assuming.

And I don’t know how to talk about this in a way that’ll let me say goodbye to it because I do need to let it go, but I’m afraid that if I do, I’ll lose my ability to write because she’s been such a big part of the writing journey for me.

So here it is. Eight years of friendship summed up in however long this is and here I am, trying to let go - and still a little part of me hopes she’ll see it and reach out about something, anything. And a bigger part that’s angry and doesn’t want to talk to her ever again because I don’t want to do this another time.

tl;dr:

I miss my friend Hillary, but also she’s kind of a shitty friend who only seems to care about people when they are writing with her and I’m an idiot for thinking anything else when I’ve had eight years to learn it. Likely if she did find this post, it’ll be misinterpreted in every way until I’m not only an idiot, but also I’m a bully who didn’t give her time and space, who pushed things on her she didn’t want, who she pitied. Because it just occurred to me now how easily she can warp the truth, how she can prod things bit by bit, until it fits just how she wants things to look that’ll benefit her the most. I love my friend, but I’m done. No matter how much I miss her, I deserve more than to be the butt of whatever joke she wants to say to make this sound cool.

[thehomemadehooligan]

10-64K Jenkins - Cody Saintgnue

Aashi Stone - Naomi Scott

Aayan Shaw - Jackson Rathbone

Abilene Wagner - Natalie Portman

Ace Chase - Sebastian Stan

Ace Spade - Taron Egerton

Adam Elliot - Leland Chapman

Addi Valiant - Allison Scagliotti

Addie Brewster - Idda Van Munster

Ae Chihu - Wooshin

Agent London Clark - Chris Evans

Agent Peter Burke - Tim DeKay

Agron - Dan Feuerriegel

Aiden Wright - Dean O’Gorman

Akkeri kom Podakru - Alex Høgh Andersen

Alana Meridian - Ksenia Solo

Alaric Saltzman - Matthew Davis

Alastair York - Jai Courtney

Alec Lightwood - Matt Daddario

Alec MacDowell - Jensen Ackles

Aleda Kingsleigh - Dove Cameron

Aleks Lubomirski - Bartosz Gelner

Alex Avanyu - Avan Jogia

Alex Fierro - Avan Jogia

Alex Rider - Alexander Ludwig

Alex Taylor - Richard Harmon

Alex Wright - Richard Harmon

Alf Tungri - Will Peltz

Alfred Pennyworth - Sean Pertwee

Alice Rula - Madeline Brewer

Aline Penhallow - Arden Cho

Alix Kirkland - Daniel Sharman

Allanon - Manu Bennett

Amber Amberjack - Dom Sherwood

Ambrose Spellman - Chance Perdommo

Amity - Elizabeth Gillies

Anand Morrígu - Sean Maguire

Anastasia Cloe - Eiza Gonzalez

Anders Johnson - Dean O'Gorman

Andreas Vasilescu - Luke Camilleri

Angel Eyes - DJ Cotrona

Angie Landers - Tatiana Maslany

Anjisnu - Kim Coates

Anya Price - Gina Rodriguez

April Hare - Theo James

Arawen Annwn - Stuart Reardon

Archie Andrews - Kat McNamara

Archie Andrews - KJ Apa

Ardal Cody - Kendall Schmidt

Arika Longan - Harry Shum Jr

Arrow kom Boudalankru - Tatiana Maslany

Arsena Larken - Zendaya Coleman

Art Gremellion - Daniel Gillies

Arthur - Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Ash Houndsworth - Sean Teale

Atticus Bane - Will Tudor

Atticus Philo - Grey Damon

Austin DeSantos - Ludi Lin

Avery Durin - Aaron Paul

Axe kom Boudalankru - Aiden Turner

Azmodeus - Landon Liboiron

Baby Collins - Ansel Egort

Baby Driver - Ansel Elgort

Baby Grant - Garrett Hedlund

Balance Grant - Charlie Hunnam

Bane - Tom Hardy

Barclay Kirby - Zane Holtz

Bard Sinclair - Cameron Monaghan

Barnabé Klausen - Bradley Soileau

Baron Remi Goldwyn-Mayer - Michael Fassbender

Barren Guilderson - Iwan Rheon

Bart Putnam - Aaron Taylor Johnson

Bas Norsewood - Sam Steele

Bash de Poitiers - Torrance Coombs

Bax Adamson - Finn Roberts

Bea Cres - Bill Skarsgard

Bea Porter - Rachel Skarsten

Bela Talbot - Lauren Cohen

Bellami Blake - Shay Mitchell

Bellamy Blake - Bob Morley

Belle Amanita - Freeman Agyeman

Ben Bartlett - Jensen Ackles

Ben Fringe - Matt Daddario

Ben Hargeeves - Justin H Min

Ben Kilmartin - Jacob Elordi

Benjamin Heritage - Kellan Lutz

Bent Williams - Tom Payne

Bertie Cooper - Will Tudor

Berto Vega - Jai Courtney

Betsy Shrivatsa - Dichen Lachman

Betty Cooper - Lili Reinhart

Big Grant - Travis Fimmel

Bika kom Azgeda - Michael Eklund

Billy Barton - Brandon Flynn

Billy de Lauro - Cody Christian

Billy Hargrove - Dacre Montgomery

Billy-Ray Sanguine - Michael Fassbender

Bishop Smith - Jack Falahee

Black Hat - Karl Urban

Blade Hood - Grace Phipps

Blaise Caelia - Joe Manganiello

Bliss - Matt Daddario

Bo - Henry Cavill

Bo Grimm - DJ Cotrona

Bobby Mercer - Mark Wahlberg

Bobo Del Rey - Michael Eklund

Bod Chayton - Booboo Stewart

Bosse Ljung - Anson Mount

Bothain Gladstone - Skeet Ulrich

Bowyn Coke - Ian Bohen

Brad Coleman - Jaren Brandt Bartlett

Brennan Mulwray - Victor Webster

Brian O'Connor - Paul Walker

Briar Eglantine - Evan Ross

Briar Jones - India Eisley

Bridget Barker - Natalie Dormer

Brigid Nic Dagda - Kaya Scodelario

Brodie Reston - Jordan Connor

Bunnymund - Norman Reedus, Shawn Mendes

Burke - Michael Fassbender

Burn Milburn - Chris Wood

CA Cupid - Dove Cameron

Caden Lovell - Keiynan Lonsdale

Cai Ryers - Cody Saintgnue

Caine Dunbar - Jonathan Rhys Meyers

Cairns West - Alexander Skarsgard

Cal August - Aaron Jakubenko

Caleb Danvers - Steven Strait

Calleigh Rousseau - Sammi Hanratty

Cam Thompson - Max Thieriot

Capp Hertz - Mchine Gun Kelly

Captain Barbie Barbara - Mike Vogel

Captain Dutch Deadwood - Anson Mount

Captain Harriet Hook - Emeraude Toubia

Captain Jack Sparrow - Johnny Depp

Captain Jim Kirk - Chris Pine

Captain Mal Reynolds - Nathan Fillion

Captain Steve Rogers - Chris Evans

Cara - Allison Scagliotti

Carl Gallagher - Ethan Cutkosky

Carlos DeVil - Cameron Boyce

Carny South - Finn Jones

Carol Danvers - Brie Larson

Casi Riqui - David Castaneda

Cassidy - Joe Gilgun

Cassie Diaval - Lindy Booth

Castle Baxter - Jon Bernthal

CC Clair - Claudia Lee

Cerise Hood - Marie Avgeropoulos

Champion Barrow - Tyler Posey

Charlie Bradbury - Felicia Day

Charlie Stephenson - Willa Holland

Chase Collins - Sebastian Stan

Chase Stein - Dom Sherwood

Chef Daniel Addams - Christian Kane

Cheka kom Trikru - Blair Redford

Chelle Reilly - Sonequa Martin-Green

Cherry Cash - Colin O'Donaghue

Cheryl Blossom - Madelaine Petsch

Cheshire Liddell - Sebastian Stan

Chess Cat - Harry Shum Jr

Chev Arthur - Jason Statham

Chibs Telford - Tommy Flanagan

Chic Smith - Hart Denton

Chief Osprey - Tyler Posey

Choi Trio - Jeonghan

Chris Argent - JR Bourne

Chryso Brach - Hart Denton

Chuck Hansen - Rob Kazinsky

Chul Bora - T.O.P

Ciaran Byrne - Skeet Ulrich

Ciel Quinn - Hale Appleman

Cinda Wocky - Lucy Hale

CJ Hook - Kat McNamara

Clark Griffin - Austin Butler

Clarke Griffin - Eliza Taylor

Clary Helstrom - Tyler Blackburn

Clint Barton - Jeremy Renner, Luke Mitchell

Clove Sageseed - Jonathan Whitesell

Coco Cash - Dave Franco

Cody Pine - Logan Lerman

Col. Basher Moran - Michael Fassbender

Cole Higgins - Monty Geer

Colonel Jack O'Neill - Richard Dean Anderson, Michael Welch

Colonel John Sheppard - Joe Flanagan

Colossus - Danila Kozlovsky

Connor Angel - Vincent Kartheiser, Chandler Riggs

Connor Kent - Robbie Amell

Connor MacManus - Sean Patrick Flanery

Conrí Faolán - Cole Sprouse

Coop Lachlan - Dacre Montgomery

Cooper Rose - Konstantinos Laios

Copper kom Yujleda - Kristin Stewart

Corbin kom Ingranronakru - Shane West

Costin Comescu - Scott Eastwood

Cotton Thistle - Hansol Vernon Chwe

Countess Marishka Tepes - Kiara Glasco

Court Silver - Richard Harmon

Crawford Leather - Charlie Weber

Crina Demetra - Lyndsy Fonesca

Cyneric Ashworth - Nick Bateman

Daci Larken - Tammin Sursok

Dag Ryden - Daniel Di Tomasso

Daisy Diaz - David Castro

Dalia kom Azgeda - Sophie Turner

Damon Salvatore - Ian Somerhalder

Daniel Hale - Tyler Hoechlin

Danihel Ranger - Alexander Calvert

Dante Fischer - Dylan O'Brien

Daria Sabriel - Jaimie Alexander

Darien Hale - Tyler Hoechlin

Darius Sabriel - Samuel Larsen

Darko Pover - Dom Sherwood

Darling Charming - Eliza Taylor

Darya Ryden - Meghan Ory

Daryl Dixon - Norman Reedus

Daya Kitchell - Zendaya Coleman

Deadpool - Ryan Reynolds

Dean Winchester - Jensen Ackles

Death of the Endless - Summer Glau

Deck Chelios - Joe Manganiello

Declan Hale - Tyler Hoechlin

Declan Harp - Jason Momoa

Del Clover - Jordan Connor

Delia Midford - Allison Scagliotti

Delirium of the Endless - Hayley Williams

Delta - Clive Standen

Denny Toombs - Greyston Holt

Deputy Avi Callahan-Constantine

Derek Hale - Tyler Hoechlin

Des Carter - Frank Grillo

Desire of the Endless - Ruby Rose

Det. Kee Cavanagh - Tom Hardy

Detective Ainsley Mansfield - Christian Kane

Detective Danno Williams - Scott Caan

Detective Danny Messer - Carmine Giovinazzo

Detective Dyson Thornwood - Kris Holden-Reid

Detective Javan Bengal - Michael Fassbender

Detective Konstantinos Cruz - Colton Haynes

Dew DeWitt - Francois Arnaud

Diana Derrick - Brooke Williams

Diana Prince - Gal Gadot

Diego Hargreeves - David Castañeda

Dirk Gently - Samuel Barnett

Dmitry Kelso - Jay Ryan

Doc Holliday - Tim Rozon

Doc Holliday Jr - Matt Daddario

Domino - Keira Knightley

Dot Baum - Becky G

Doug Reston - Joe Manganiello

Dr Bones McCoy - Karl Urban

Dr Gryphon Trent - Chris Hemsworth

Dr Hank McCoy - Nicholas Hoult

Dr Harley Quinn - Hart Denton

Dr Hart Hansen - Tom Mison

Dr House - Hugh Laurie

Dr Jake Stone - Christian Kane

Dr Jill Holtzmann - Kate McKinnon

Dr Johann Stein - Richard Harmon

Dr Juneau Moone - Dane Dehaan

Dr Lane Reston - Skeet Ulrich

Dr Paddy Doyle - Andrew Scott

Dr Palmer Isley - KJ Apa

Dr Pamela Isley - Natalie Dormer

Dr Sindri Vidarr - Dane Dehaan

Dr Trick Grimsby - Ian Bohen

Draco Malfoy - Tom Felton, Miles Heizer

Drak kom Trishanakru - Alexander Dreymon

Draki Astarot - Troye Sivan

Dru Vritra - Santiago Segura

Dsimu Runihura - Michael Fassbender

Durant Fischer - Dylan O'Brien

Dusty Djura - Kat Dennings

Dwalin, Son of Fundin - Graham Mac Tavish

Eames - Tom Hardy

Eddie Brock - Tom Hardy

Eddy Williams - Adam G Sevani

Edric Lange - Anthony Mackie

Eggsy Unwin - Taron Egerton

Eight - Bob Morley

Eira Candace - Alycia Debnam-Carey

Eirlys kom Azgeda - Kit Harington

Eli Barros - David Castaneda

Elijah Mikaelson - Daniel Gillies

Eliot Spencer - Christian Kane

Eliot Waugh - Hale Appleman

Elise Gerard - Troian Bellisario

Elodie Kerstoph - Abbey Lee

Emerson Topper - Zach McGowan

Emery - Miss Psycho Cat/Minja Cvetković

Emma Austin - Scout Taylor Compton

Enzo Ferris - Brock O’Hurn

Enzo St John - Michael Malarky

Erik Lehnsherr - Michael Fassbender

Erin Strife - Ash Stymest, Cher Lloyd

Ethan Connors - Derek Theler

Evan Bilingham - Daniel Gillies

Evan Williams - Dan Stevens

Evgeni Shankarov - Paul Wesley

Evie Weiss - Max Schneider

Exy Enger - Caitlin Stasey

Eyes Auriemma - Rob Raco

Fabien Mariani - Bob Morley

Faith Firenze - Zoey Deutch

Faith Zora - Arielle Kebel

Falco LaPointe - Francois Arnaud

Fangs Fogarty - Drew Ray Tanner

Faolan Finn - Shawn Mendes

Faraday Jones - Chris Pratt

Farmer Quentin - Vin Diesel

Father Daine - JR Bourne

Father Gothel - Kim Coates

Father Robert King - Gabriel Macht

Felix Mosley - Jade Hassouné

Fergus Carter - Cole Sprouse

Fey Sprite - Natalia Dyer

Fi Kapua - Jungkook

Filarion Gaelin - Chanyeol

Fili, Son of Dis - Dea O'Gorman

Finn Collins - Thomas McDonell

Finn Liebrecht - Charlie Carver

Finnlee Camdyn - Hart Denton

Fionn Collins - Nina Dobrev

Fitz Luck - Lucas Till

Five Hargreeves - Aiden Gallagher

Five Voelkel - Dan Feuerriegel

Fletcher Herangi/Searanke - KJ Apa

Flick Fawkes - Lindsey Morgan

Flint Gladstone - Rob Raco

Flynn Addams - Norman Reedus

Flynn Rider - Jared Padalecki

Foma Comescu - Armie Hammer

Ford Waters - Jon Bernthal

Foster - Jade Hassouné

Fox Asterphilos - Michael Fassbender

Fox Tempest - Harry Shum Jr

Frank Castle - Jon Bernthal

Frank Martin - Jason Statham

Frazer Parkes - Zane Holtz

Fred Walter - Ellen Page

Freddie McClair - Luke Pasqualino

Freya Mikaelson - Riley Voelkel

Friday Ginger - Bradley Cooper

Garnet Porter - Danielle Harris

Garrett Burroughs - Amadeus Serafini

Gem Topaz - Jade Thirlwell

Geniy Kirova - Danila Kozlovsky

Geo kom Ingranronakru - Christian Kane

Geo Tyson - Christian Navarro

Gideon Kirkland - Nate Buzolic

Gil LeGume - Dylan Playfair

Ginger Breadhouse - Vanessa Morgan

Gladys Jones - Morena Baccarin

Gleb Mychajlovich - Luke Guldan

Glenn Dixon - Robert Buckley

Grace Zora - Claire Holt

Griffin - Jamie Bell

Gus Speedle - Jesse Metcalfe

Gwaine the Younger - Will Tudor

Ha Minsu - Yongguk

Haf kom Podakru - Clive Standen

Haihefa Roan kom Azgeda - Zach McGowan

Haiplana Rowan kom Azgeda - Olga Kurylenko

Han Seong-Jin - Seo In Guk

Han Seoul-Oh - Sung Kang, Jung Ji Hoon

Handsome Rob - Jason Statham

Hannibal King - Ryan Reynolds

Harley Keener - Ty Simpkins

Harp Wilson - Ashley Rickards

Harper - Gordon Michael Woolvett

Harry Addams - Sharlto Copley

Harry Hook - Thomas Doherty

Harry Osborn - Alex Høgh Andersen

Harvey Kinkle - Ross Lynch

Hayley Gold - Alberto Rosende

Hazel Haven - Kyle Gallner

Heave - Brock O’Hurn

Heda Lex kom Trikru - Greyston Holt

Heda Lexa kom Trikru - Alycia Debnam-Carey

Hendrix Mars - Odiseas Georgiadis

Henry Greyson - Brenton Thwaites

Henry Mikaelson - Richard Harmon

Herc Hansen - Max Martini

HG Graham - Jaime Murray

Hiram Lodge - Mark Consuelas

Hope Zora - Penelope Mitchell

Hush kom Azgeda - Tasya Teles

Hyde Jackson - Lucas Till

Ian Gallagher - Cameron Monaghan

Ianto Mumbles - Idris Elba

Iefan Mumbles - Idris Elba

Illyiad Barakan - Johnny Strong

Indigo Basile - Will Tudor

InDo Montoya - Cole Sprouse

Ink Marburg - Stephen James

Isaac Lahey - Daniel Sharman

Isias Apgar - Kim Coates

Issac Lawson - Luke Evans

Iva Malone - Stephanie Bennett

Ivo Ramsey - Keegan Allen

Izzy Swango - Matt Ryan

Jace Lightwood - Dom Sherwood

Jack Frost - Troye Sivan, Sean Patrick Flanery

Jack Morton - Jake Manley

Jacob Finnegan - Ian Bohen

Jade Jordan - Hailee Steinfeld

James Moriarty - Andrew Scott

Janet McCullogh - Emma Roberts

Jannick Boden - Robert Sheehan

Jareth the Goblin King - Brett Dalton, David Bowie

Jarvis Huish - Jake Abel

Jason Schuchard - Logan Henderson

Jason Todd - Bob Morley

Jasper Jordan - Devon Bostick

Jax Harley - Ricky Whittle

Jax Lewis - Noel Fisher

Jay Abanazar - Booboo Stewart

Jazz Hills - Nick Jonas

Jean Morau - Eliza Dushku

Jefferson - Sebastian Stan

Jem Fenrirson - Michael Fassbender

Jensen Ames - Jason Statham

Jensen Slick - Stephen Dorff

Jeremy Gilbert - Steven R McQueen

Jerry Lucas - Sam Heughan

Jess Gambino - China Anne McClain

Jett McCreighton-Hill - Cole Sprouse

Jia Nix - Justin H Min

Jim Moriarty - Andrew Scott

Jimmy Malone - Landon Liboiron/Tom Sturridge

JJ Jenkins - Megan Fox

Joaquin DeSantos - Rob Raco

Joe Addams - Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Joe McAlister - Colin Ford

Joel Bissainthe - Andy Biersack

Joel Gregory - Benedict Cumberbatch

Joel Shmishlyaev - Ash Stymest

John Avanyu - Karl Urban

John Constantine - Matt Ryan

John Mbege - Keiynan Lonsdale

John Murphy - Richard Harmon

John Silvini - Ryan Reynolds

John Vaako Grimm - Karl Urban

Johnnie Cooper - Tom Ellis

Johnny Jaqobis - Aaron Ashmore

Johnny Law - Vincent Ventresca

Jojo Cash - Chris Pine

Jon Byers - Charlie Heaton

Jon Snow - Kit Harington

Jonah Howard - Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Jones Templeton - Brock Kelly

Jordan Howard - Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Jory Kulkarni - Tyler Hoechlin

Jostus kom Sankru - Brock O’Hurn

JR Murphy - Richard Harmon

JT Jones - Bill Skarsgard

Jughead Jones - Cole Sprouse

Juice Ortiz - Theo Rossi

Jukebox Jones - Hannah Marks

Julio Richter - Diego Boneta

Jumpcut Jones - Dylan Sprouse

Kacey Patton - Dylan Sprouse

Kade Arcino - Zachary Quinto

Kaede Oshiro - Sehun

Kai Anderson - Evan Peters

Kai Parker - Chris Wood

Kaios Godfrey -Bill Skarsgard

Kaleb Westphall - Daniel Sharman

Kara Kaa - Eiza Gonzalez

Karolina Dean - Virginia Gardener

Kaya Carter-Reston - Dove Cameron

Kayla Doll - Emily Browning

Kaylee Sanderson - Gal Gadot

Kelly Benton - Darya Goncharova

Kelly Pryor - Brandon Larracuente

Kensington Banning - Will Tudor

Kenzo Malikov - Kim Heechul

Keri Graves - Marie Avgeropoulos

Kerry Holt - Richard Armitage

Kesa Brandt - Tom Hardy

Kevin Keller - Casey Cott

Ki Tilo - KJ Apa

Kid Loki - Cole Sprouse

Kili, Son of Dis - Aiden Turner

Killian Salvatore - Scott Caan

Kim Hart - Naomi Scott

Kincaid Jericko - Victor Webster

King Aim Dagonet - Jordan Connor

King Asnee Ambrocio - Choi Min Ki

King Beem - Jordan Connor

King Ben French - Mitchell Hope

King Christoph Henderson - Henry Cavill

King Lionel Reginus - Jason Momoa

King Papi Palma-Picarzo - Rob Raco

King Ragnar Lothbrok - Travis Fimmel

King Rey Bolivar - David Castro

King Rí - Joseph Morgan

King Rook Smith - Thomas Doherty

King Rory Reagan - Richard Madden

King Sigourney Algernon - Francois Arnaud

King Tru I Tania - Clive STanden

King Vlad Tepes III - Luke Evans

Kingsley Hopkirk - Kris Holden-Ried

Kintsu Kuroi - Jhope

Kisa - Eiza Gonzalez

Kit Barton - Luke Mitchell

Kit Corwin - Rob Raco

Kit Pryde - Dylan Sprayberry

Kit Rook - Colin Ford

Kito Jewel - Kit Harrington

Kitt Banning - Dom Sherwood

Kitten Byrne - Kit Harington

Kitten Kirk - Chloe Grace Moretz

Kitty Cheshire - Alyssa Claire Joynson

Kitty Kole - Kay Victoria

Klaus Mikaelson - Joseph Morgan

Knight Jack Knave - Dom Sherwood

Kol Mikaelson - Nate Buzolic

Kona Leilani - Dacre Montgomery

Kostia kom Trikru - Adelaide Kane, Emilia Clarke, Nyane Lebajoa, Hannah John Kamen

Kostin kom Trikru - Kit Harington, Lucky Blue Smith, Jordan Calloway

Kozik - Kenny Johnson

Kristoff of Arendelle - Chris Hemsworth

Ku Yejun - Jaejoong

Kuba Kowalski - Antoni Porowski

Kurgan Reina - Daniel Gillies

Kyda kom Trishanakru - Josefin Asplund

Kyle Bathory - Jake Manley

Kyra Badd - Alexa Davalos

L Lawliet - Ken'ichi Matsuyama

Lace Rainer - Jason Ralph

Lachlan Camdyn - Reilly Dolman

Lady/Lord Lara Croft - Alicia Vikander, Tom Hardy

Lán Sé Límíng - G-Dragon

Lanta kom Trishanakru - Harry Shum Jr

Lara Montgomery - Shelley Hennig

Lark Malone - Chloe Bennet

Laveau McQueen - Richard Harmon

Lavrenty Comescu - Mike Vogel

Lee Christmas - Jason Statham

Lee Druitt - Brett Dalton

Leigh Trace - Christian Slater

Leith Camdyn - Will Tudor

Lena Crighton - Hannah John-Kamen

Leon Strong - Johnny Strong

Leonard Snart - Wentworth Miller

Leone O'Ray - Dylan Sprouse

Levi Livingston - Jackson Rathbone

Lexington Wallander III - Travis Fimmel

Lia Santiago - Eiza Gonzalez

Liam Dunbar - Dylan Sprayberry

Liander Tybalt - Harry Shum Jr

Libby Tazzno - Mollee Gray

Light Yagami - Tatsuya Fujiwara

Lightfingers Bourne - Colin Ford

Lilah Sanderson - Danielle Campbell

Lily Highsmith - Crystal Reed

Link Fawkes - Thomas McDonell

Link, Last of the Hylians - Austin Butler

Lip - Jared Padalecki

Lip Trembuey - Reilly Dolman

Lissa Anderson - Jessica Lu

Logan - Hugh Jackman

Logan Cale - Michael Weatherly

Lola Locorant - Eiza Gonzalez

Lolli Baxter - Vanessa Morgan

Lonnie Li - Dianne Doan

Lord Albrecht Holmes - Tom Hiddleston

Lord Marshall Richard B Riddick - Vin Diesel

Lorelai Vierra - Lana Parilla

Loren Knowles - Shannon Kook

Lorna Lexington - Emma Dumont

Lou LaBelle-Ferretti - Tasya Teles

Louisa Giroux - Danielle Campbell

Loullabelle Jones - Allison Scagliotti

Lt. Col Switch McKenna - Alex O’Loughlin/Brock Kelly

Lt. Col. Anders Fontaine - Chris O'Donnell

Lt. Faceman Peck - Bradley Cooper

Lucien Judith - Michael Johnston

Lucifer Morningstar - Tom Ellis

Lucilla Nike - Charlize Theron

Lucius Philo - Kellan Lutz

Luke Castellan - Jake Abel

Luke Collins - Zak Henri

Luke Dusk - Mark Pellegrino

Lupe Lito - Miguel Ángel Silvestre

M’Ari Walker - Ksenia Solo

Macallan - Shawn Mendes

Mack Wilson - David Guintoli

Maddie Moreau - Sarah Hyland

Maddy Trevor - Bella Thorne

Madrigan Hatter - Landon Liboiron

Mae Coombs - Lili Reinhart

Maeve Aella - Phoebe Tonkin

Magnus Bane - Harry Shum Jr

Magpie TwoSpirit - Ruby Rose

Magret Spector - Vanessa Morgan

Maj. Ty Fontaine - Stephen Amell

Mak Timoti - Wentworth Miller

Makena Kysely - Colton Haynes

Malachai - Nicholas Hoult

Mangjol Ji-Tae - Minhyuk btob

Marc Wilder - Avan Jogia

Marcus Addams - Kim Coates

Marcus Berry - Godfrey Gao

Margo kom Sankru - Natalie Dormer

Marie Thompson - Meryl Streep

Mark Hobb - Jensen Ackles

Marley McCaffrey - Skeet Ulrich

Martin Rowdy - Michael Eklund

Mary Qazi - Sofia Boutella

Marzio Altamura - Jimmy Quaintance

Mathew Paterson - Tom Holland

Matilda Zolnerowich - Sygin

Matt Jeevas - Luhan

Matt Murdock - Charlie Cox

Mattie Brightley - Asa Butterfield, Cillian Murphy

Maven King - Diego Barrueco

Maz Lorne - Charlotte Best

McCorrigan Holmes - Tilda Swinton

Mekhi Kennedy - Bill Skarsgard

Mel Putnam - Jackson Rathbone

Meliorn - Jade Hassouné

Merlin Emrys - Colin Morgan

Merrick Finn - Dylan O'Brien

Mi Se-Yeon - Jimin

Mick Sweeney - Pablo Schreiber

Mickey Finn - Callum Blue

Mickey Milkovich - Noel Fisher

Midge Conlon - Colin Ford

Midge Klump - Nick Robinson

Mikael Whistler - Wentworth Miller

Mike Plisskin - Colin Ford

Miles O’Shaughnessy - Robert Sheehan

Miller Petroff - Mike Vogel

Million Pearce - David Castro

Milos Toplaski - Tommy Flanagan

Mim Fayette - Katie McGrath

Minka Vodnik - Olivia Wilde

Mira Bellami - Victoria Justice

Misty Lombardo - Adelaide Kane

Mitchell - Aiden Turner

Monroe Lorenzo - Michael Malarky

Moose Mason - Cody Kiersley

Morbid Kitchell - Machine Gun Kelly

Morgan Julius - Landon Liboiron

Morrigan Wallace - Lena Headey

Morrison Wallace - Tommy Flanagan

Ms. America - Gina Rodriguez

Murphy MacManus - Norman Reedus

Murtagh Reston - Thomas Doherty

Natalia Miller - Ashleigh Murray

Nate Spooner - Toby Hemmingway

Nathan Miller - Jarod Joseph

Nathaniel Barton - Grant Gustin

Natshana kom Trishanakru - Chai Hansen

Nell Reba-Barnes - Steve Howey

Neptune Hollins - Noah Centineo

Nia Bradbury - Andy Biersack

Nic Janson - Troye Sivan

Nick Agave - Dom Sherwood

Nick Scratch - Gavin Leatherwood

Nick St North - Kris Kristofferson

Nico DiAngelo - David Mazouz

Nico Minoru - Lyrica Okano

Nico Prentís - Cody Saintgnue

Nicolai Duchamps - Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Nik Ellis - KJ Apa

Nile Gwynnne - Nate Buzolic

Nix Arthur - Charlie Hunnam

No Preston - Max Riemelt

Noah Johnson - Mitchell Hope

Nolan James - Norman Reedus

Nonna Narrington - Caleb Landry Jones

Note Scofield - Cameron Boyce

Nova - Adam Lambert

Nysse Hamilton - Dayana Melgares

Nyx Greymark - Nyané Lebajoa

Oaklee Zaharis - Marie Avgeropoulos

Oddmund Bodilson - Brett Dalton

Oli Delfino - KJ Apa

Ong Minjae - Sehun

Onyx Frost-Haddock - Cole Sprouse

Opie Winston - Ryan Hurst

Orin Suelita - DJ Cotrona

Orion Hunter - Jai Courtney

Os Avanyu - Oscar Jaenada

Owen Anton - Devon Sawa

Owen Grady - Chris Pratt

Owen Palomino - Sean Patrick Flanery

Oz Keen - Cody Christian

Patricia Llewelyn - Scout Taylor-Compton

Paul Rumancek - Landon Liboiron

Paul Tristan - Nick Jonas

Paul Trubel - Miles Heizer

Paw Cavanaugh - Alisha Wainwright

Peg Simon - Joe Manganiello

Peilani Salvatore - Jason Momoa

Pen Carpenter - Hale Appleman

Percy Jackson - Cole Sprouse

Pern Sorrows - Colin Morgan

Perry Avanyu - Drew Fuller

Peter Hale - Ian Bohen

Peter Parker - Tom Holland

Peter Quill - Chris Pratt

Peter Rumancek - Landon Liboiron

Peyton Bennett - Dove Cameron

Philip Pearson - Reilly Dolman

Pike - Milo Ventimiglia

Pitch Black - Jude Law

Pixie Trix - Lena Scissorhands

Poe McCreary - Ruby Rose

Prali Kus - Sendhil Ramamurthy

Prince Alby Escamillia - Bob Morley

Prince Ali Ababwa - Avan Jogia

Prince Arthur Pendragon - Bradley James, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau

Prince Babylas French - Tom Holland

Prince Dubh of Dunbroch - Matt Daddario

Prince Fin Bratomil Leonidus - Jamie Campbell Bower

Prince Fionn of Dunbroch - Matt Daddario

Prince Greyson Rutherford - Robbie Kay

Prince Hans of the Southern Isles - Max Martini

Prince Hung Tae-Hee - TOP

Prince Kieran of the Wild Hunt - Nils Kuiper

Prince Kory Westergaard - Eddie Redmayne

Prince Mee-Dee Pendragon - Dom Sherwood

Prince Rapunzel - Jensen Ackles

Prince Tobias Morei - Pedro Aurelian

Princess Amberle Elessedil - Poppy Drayton

Princess Anna of Arendelle - Karen Gillan, Molly C Quinn, Miranda Otto

Princess Beth of Crims - Adelaide Kane

Princess Evie Grimhilde - Sofia Carson

Princess Merida of DunBroch - Rachelle LeFevre, Kat McNamara, Sadie Sink

Princess Ruby Henderson - Adelaide Kane

Princess Shuri of Wakanda - Letitia Wright

Professor Charles Xavier - James McAvoy

Professor Chuck Marks - Joe Manganiello

Professor Dai Ignotus - Frank Grillo

Professor Hartley Badeau - JR Bourne

Prudence Night Blackwood - Tati Gabrielle

Pubert Addams - David Mazouz

Pugsley Addams - Cole Sprouse

Q-ee Quire - Aaron Yoo

Quade Reeves - Froy Gutierrez

Queen Becci Doherty - Lucy Hale

Queen Elsa of Arendelle - Kathryn Winnick, Dove Cameron

Queen Juno Smith - Ariana Grande

Queen Lyria of Leah - Vanessa Morgan

Queen Rosalee Lette - Taylor Momsen

Queenie Scarlett - Bailey Jay

Quentin Coldwater - Jason Ralph

Quentin Cruikshanks - Zane Holtz

Quentin Quire - Machine Gun Kelly

Quinlan Cruikshanks - Zane Holtz

Quinn Dolan - Richard Harmon

Race Tabytha - Christopher Gorham

Rachel Summers - KJ Apa

Radley Finch - Stephen James

Radovan Zivkovic - Tom Hardy

Rainy Bright - Osric Chau

Raiven Reyes - Avan Jogia

Raleigh Beckett - Charlie Hunnam

Ran-Mao - Brianna Hildebrand

Randall Carpio - Adam DiMarco

Raphael Santiago - David Castro

Ratchet Rosston - Cher Lloyd

Raven Reyes - Lindsey Morgan

Ravi Enrico - Robert Sheehan

Ray Mantle - Ross Butler

Rayner Pope - Seth Gabel

Reggie Mantle - Charles Melton

Rei Kawahara - Dichen Lachman

Reid Garwin - Toby Hemmingway

Rell Hartfield - Chloe Bennet

Remus Godfrey - Bill Skarsgard

Rev. Jesse Custer - Dominic Cooper

Revolver - Lucas Till

Rex Rexford - Daniel Sharman

Ric Road - Gustaf Skarsgard

Richard Amore - Adam Levine

Richie Brooks - Andrew Scott

Richie Gecko - Zane Holtz

Rick Hobb - DJ Cotrona

Riko Velli - Niko Pepaj

Riley Barrick - Luke Bilyk

Rina Dust - Kat McNamara

Rip Finley - Arthur Darvill

River Green - Ezra Miller

Robert Lockshood - Taron Egerton

Robin Downes - Cole Sprouse

Robin Locksley - Colin Ford

Rocket Jameson - Alberto Rosende

Rogue - Jacob Elordi

Rogue - Victor Webster

Roman Godfrey - Bill Skarsgard

Roman Mercer - Avan Jogia

Roo Carter - Luanna Perez

Rory Harker - Cole Sprouse

Ros Carman - Emeraude Toubia

Rosco Domitan - Tommy Flanagan

Rose Parker - Sasha Lane

Rosie Dainty - Sarah Hyland

Ruairí Gunnrarr - Sean Patrick Flanery

Rune kom Azgeda - Jason Momoa

Rusty Ryan - Brad Pitt

Ryl Lytvynenko - Jamie Campbell-Bower

Ryl/Lyra Connors - Caleb Landry Jones, Holland Roden

Sadie Rosati - Jon Kortajarena

Saiya Erembour - Kiernan Shipka

Sam Lee Fisher - Kiersey Clemons

Sam Shankerov - Joel Kinnaman

Samael Abigor - Tom Hardy

Sameen Shaw - Sarah Shahi

Samira Avanyu - Rihanna

Samoset Ramirez Avanyu - Theo Rossi

Santa Muerte - Riae Suicide

Sassy Caitsidhe - Asa Butterfield

Schrödinger Cat - Godfrey Gao

Scorpius Malfoy - Troye Sivan

Scott Canterbury - Nate Buzolic

Scott McCall - Tyler Posey

Scott Summers - Tye Sheridan

Scout - Richard Harmon

Scud Buchanen - Norman Reedus

Sean Gallagher - Dane Dehaan

Seb Reid - Toby Hemmingway

Seb Shankerov - Joel Kinnaman

Sebastian Michaelis - Jared Leto

Sebastian Morgenstern - Will Tudor

Sébastienne Morgenstern - Dove Cameron

Seth Gecko - DJ Cotrona

Severin Moran - Michael Fassbender

SFC Bob Brown - Scott Foley

Sgt. Axel Miller - Jonathan Scarfe

Sgt. Bucky Barnes - Sebastian Stan

Sgt. Cougar Alvarez - Oscar Jaenada

Shalimar Fox - Victoria Pratt

Shalimar Rose - Emeraude Toubia

Shane Kilmartin - Noah Centineo

Shelby Kiyaya - Jason Momoa

Sheriff FP Jones - Skeet Ulrich/Cole Sprouse

Sherlock Holmes - Benedict Cumberbatch

Sherry Holmes - Benedict Cumberbatch

Sicario Montoya - David Castaneda

Sigla kom Podakru - Katheryn Winnick

Silas Kyle - Charles Melton

Silas Prince - Avan Jogia

Sim Chunho - Kiseop

Simon Bellamy - Iwan Rheon

Simon Cooper - Grant Gustin

Simon Jogia - Rami Malek

Simon Lewis - Alberto Rosende

Sinclair Lorentz - Aidan Turner

Siobhan Mbege - China Anne McClain

Siobhan Murphy - Lyndsy Fonesca

Sion Brass - Wentworth Miller

Sir Percival of Albion - Tom Hopper

Sky Vance - Dylan O'Brien

Sol Whitecrest - Nadia Hilker

Song Xieren - Xiao Meng

Sonnie Smythe - Dane Dehaan

Sophie Brightborn - Kat McNamara

Soubi Agatsuma - T.O.P

Sparkle Soleil - Virginia Gardener

Spot Conlon - Bill Skarsgard

Spring Heeled Jack - Jordan Connor

St.John Allerdyce - Aaron Stanford

Staff sergeant Jake Stingman

Stan Rotor - Machine Gun Kelly

Steffen Dumah Vigo - Aaron Stanford

Steve Harrington - Joe Keery

Steve Hopper - Tyler Hoechlin

Steve McGarrett - Alex O’Loughlin

Stiles Stilinski - Dylan O'Brien

Stirling Argent - Joel Kinnaman

Stuart Twombly-Stilinski - Dylan O'Brien

Sue Cash - Jeremy Renner

Suk Hyun-Woo - Jin Young

Suk Jung-Hee - Kim Jaejoong

Suk Pyong-Ho - Hong Bin

Sully Harper - Norman Reedus

Sunny Magnum - Ash Stymest

Sweet Pea - Jordan Connor

Syl Maier - Alex Watson

T-Bag - Robert Knepper

Takeshi Kovacs - Joel Kinnaman, Will Yun Lee

Takuya Rain - Jung Ji Hoon

Tali Bell - Stirling Knight

Talia Trent - Arden Cho

Tara Blackfeather - Taylor Momsen

Tara Orlov - Ksenia Solo

Teasaidh Addams - Aidan Turner

Teddy Altman - Alexander Ludwig

Teddy Lupin - Noah Centineo

Terry Jasper - Dwayne Johnson

Tex Malcolm - Dave Franco

Theo Abbott - Evan Crooks

Theo Crain - Kate Siegel

Theo Putnam - Lachlan Watson

Theo Raeken - Cody Christian

Thomas Addams - Jensen Ackles

Thomas Teller - Travis Fimmel

Thor Odinson - Chris Hemsworth

Tig Trager - Kim Coates

Tiger O’Hanigan - Sebastian Stan

Tihomir Bosko - James Marsters

Tim Blaise - Ben Barnes

Tim Drake - Cole Sprouse

Time Thorin - Brock O'Hurn

Tinkerbell - Dove Cameron

TK Bell - Emilia Clarke

Toby Cavanaugh - Keegan Allen

Todd Brotzman - Elijah Wood

Tokala Ramirez - Raphael Alejandro

Tolly Nichols-Dix - David Castro

Toly Sorrows - Cam Gigandet

Tommy Conway - Jensen Ackles

Toni Topaz - Vanessa Morgan

Tonio Oliver - Luke Pasqualino

Tony Parker - Dom Sherwood

Tony Stark - Robert Downey Jr

Tony Stonem - Nicholas Hoult

Tony Topaz - Keiynan Lonsdale

Tori Markham - Maggie Q

Torrance Green - Parker Hurley

Trace Georgia - Shiloh Fernandez

Tracy Rose - David Gandy

Travis Buchanen - Norman Reedus

Trevor Holden - Jared Abrahamson

Treyu kom Sankru - Charlie Hunnam

Tribute Jones - Thomas Doherty

Tristan Gaheris - Bradley James

Tulip O'Hare - Ruth Negga

Uma Scylla - China Anne McClain

Unity Candor - Dom Sherwood

Urban Candor - Theo James

Uriah Reyes - Peter Gadiot

Urumi Bello - Ben Barnes

Valentine Morgenstern - Nikolai Coster-Waldau, Ryan Kwanten

Van Torrence - Max Martini

Vanya Hargreeves - Ellen Page

Vanya Kalantarova - Theo Rossi

Vasily Kalanatrova - Ksenia Solo

Vel Grant - Garrett Hedlund

Ven Kuznetsov - Zane Holtz

Venus Van Dam - Walton Goggins

Verity - Ekilateral

Verity James - Cole Sprouse

Verna Piette - Victoria Campbell

Verona Lodge - Michael Trevino

Veronica Lodge - Camilla Mendes

Vex - Paul Amos

Victor Mancha - Alberto Rosende

Viktoriya Nadedja - Ivanna Anatoliyivna Sakhno

Vilko Rosenfeld - Tyler Hoechlin

Vivien Tancredi - Taissa Farmiga

Vogel Rowdy - Osric Chau

Vu Inlustris - Matt Lanter

Walden Sommers - Dylan Sprayberry

Walker Simon - Adam Levine

Warren Avanyu - Steven Strait

Warren Fafner - David Gandy

Warren Peace - Steven Strait

Wart Addams - Evwan McGregor

Waverly Earp - Dominique Provost-Chalkley

Wednesday Addams - Camila Mendes

Weiryn Cernonnus - Adam Copeland

Wes March - Avan Jogia

Will Herondale - Andy Biersack

Willow Queen - Katie McGrath

Win Palencia - Frank Grillo

Witchita Nichols-Dix - Jared Padalecki

Woda kom Floukru - Joe Manganiello

Wolfgang Bogdanow - Max Riemelt

Wood Woodley - DJ Cotrona

Wyatt Halliwell - Wes Ramsey

Wysteria - Aaron Stanford

Xander Harris - Nicholas Brendan

Xav Tanner - Richard Harmon

Xavier Nichols-Dix - Bill Skarsgard

Ya Min-Ki - Kan F.Cuz

Yara Preston - Armie Hammer

Ygraine Artio - Depika Padukone

Young Fred Andrews - KJ Apa

Yuki Musume - Freya Tingley

Yukio Hamada - Shiori Kutsuna

Zac Nicwood - Joseph Morgan

Zana Trembuey - Carlson Young

Zane Gallo - Andrew Lee Potts

Zarina Dust - Clara Paget

Zarina Tintagel - Holliday Grainger

Zeb Avenue - Chris Hemsworth

Zef Doe - Evan Peters

Zeke Benton - Manu Bennet

Zhu Bái - Park Soo Young

Zhu Jiāháo - Leo

Zhu Zhēn - Niel

Zin Kuznetsova - Dove Cameron

Zo Cezoram - Hale Appleman

Zuck Florentine - Luke Evans

[faofinn]

6. Sick and Injured

His body was on fire, sirens and shouts and flashes of bright light overwhelming him. Everything merging into just too much. He couldn't do it, couldn't hold on, so he let go, the sudden snap of relief just welcome blackness. There was no fight against whatever was holding him down, forcing each breath down his throat. He was dying, he was sure of it, and he was just so exhausted. It wasn't giving up. or giving in, it would just be a rest, just a break. 

"Everyone ready? Yeah, Okay. This is Finn, he's 22 and has quite the extensive medical history. He was found by a member of the public on the side of the road, confused and combative. When we arrived, he was in and out but very agitated. Apparently witnessed falling over a few times, initially query intox, but has a medic-alert bracelet on his backpack - He's known epileptic from a TBI, with EDS, POTS, chronic pain, fatigue and a few other mental health conditions. 

"When he's fallen, he seems to have hit his head multiple times, he's got two reasonable sized lacs to the left side of his head, and one across his eyebrow. No boggy masses, but cheekbone feels deformed. Obvious dislocation, possible break to left shoulder / collar bone, looks pretty unstable at the minute.

"He is cannulated and tolerating an OP at the moment. He had a possible 30 second seizure as we moved to the ambulance, and he's gone a lot more vacant in the last three minutes or so.

"He's got a temp of 38.6, tachy at 126, hypotensive 98/76. bm of 6.2. Sats have been 92 on air, came up to 96 on 15L. Reduced air entry globally, nothing being shifted on the right base, sounds very congested and crackly there. We've got NOK details from his alert card, so can give them a call while you guys get him sorted, if there's nothing else you need from us?"

When Sheila had called Fao in the middle of the night to say his brother had disappeared, he had to admit it hadn’t quite been what he’d expected. He’d known Finn was struggling with a chest infection of some description, and they’d been worried about seizures, and so he expected the call to be from his mum saying they’d had to go to A&E. 

He’d been sitting up with a cup of tea, just in case Finn turned up at his place, when his phone rang again, showing as No Caller ID. He snatched it up, immediately hitting answer. 

“Hello?”

"Hi, is that, uh, Faolan?"

He winced. “Yeah, that’s me.”

"In just ringing about your brother, a Finn Daniels?"

He sighed. “What’s happened?”

"He's been brought into the ED, he's…he's quite unwell at the moment. It might be best if you were able to come in?"

“Has he had a seizure?” Fao asked, glad he was already dressed. “I’m on my way in.”

"I think it's best if we explain in person."

Oh, fuck. That didn’t bode well, and Fao felt a cold fear run through him. “George’s? I’ll be there in ten.”

"Yeah. Did you want to let the family know? Or would you rather I called them?"

“I’ll call them.”

"Thank you."

“Thanks for calling me.” Fao murmured. 

"I'm sorry it's not good news. Be safe getting in."

“Mm, thanks.” Fao said softly, before he put the phone down. He drained his mug, shoved his shoes on and grabbed his stuff before he woke Ollie to tell him he was going and he didn’t know when he’d be back. The drive to hospital was quick, Fao definitely not speeding. He called Sheila on the way, explaining what little knew, and soon he’d found somewhere to park and rushed into the hospital. 

Finn had continued to swing between agitated and not, the staff only growing more concerned. He'd been sedated slightly, mainly just to get him through CT, but they'd still yet to get a coherent response from him. Even the mention of Fao coming to see him didn’t seem to break through, Finn staring blankly through them. 

When Fao finally got to the reception desk, he felt like he was going to lose his mind. He hated not knowing anything, whoever he’d spoken to on the phone so vague and unhelpful. Yes, he appreciated things were best discussed in person, but an idea was helpful. He didn’t even know if this was a seizure, though with what Sheila had told him it was somewhat likely. 

They took him through, but he wasn’t allowed straight into resus, instead shown the relatives room to wait. He paced up and down like a caged tiger, his hair a mess from how many times he’d run his fingers through it, though it fell in his face all the same. 

There was a sharp knock on the door, all too clinical and harsh for the situation. "Hi, is it Fao?"

Fao stopped pacing. “Yeah. What’s going on? Nobody’s told me anything.”

"Sorry about that, do you want to have a seat?"

“Is he alive?” Fao barely dared to ask the question. 

They softened, giving him a small smile. "He is, he's currently in our resus bit. He's very not well at the minute, and we're waiting to get him stable enough to take up to ICU."

That wasn’t unusual for Finn, as awful as that was. His shoulders slumped with relief that his brother was still alive, and he scanned the doctor’s face to try and work out what was going on. “Was it a seizure? He’s had an infection brewing and that always sets him off, are we talking status? If you’re waiting on ICU I’m assuming he’s been tubed? Have you spoken with his consultant? I think he was looking at trying to arrange an admission anyway.”

"We're not entirely sure what's been going on. He was picked up at the roadside, by the sounds of it he'd fallen quite a few times. He's got some pretty significant head injuries at the moment. We've not intubated him yet, no, but it's looking likely that's the way it's heading. He's currently just about managing with some extra support, but it's…he's got a significant chest infection, pneumonia, and we're not sure if the falls he's had has made it worse, but his lungs aren't working as they should be." He sighed. "We've not been able to really have a chat with him at all, he's been very agitated and quite combative, so we've sedated him a little bit, for his safety. He currently has a little piece of plastic in his mouth, just to help him keep his airways open. It's not the most comfortable for him, but he needs it with the medications and the stuff going on."

Evidently this was going to be a long conversation, and Fao was sore from the sheer amount of pacing he’d been doing. He sat down, nodding. “Alright. I got a call off my mum about an hour ago saying he’d gone missing and was he at mine.” He murmured. “Has he had a CT for the head injuries? He can be really agitated and combative especially when he’s feeling overwhelmed. He doesn’t like to be touched, he doesn’t like a lot of people around him, especially after a seizure. I’m happy to give you any social or medical history that would help you out. He really hates things on his face, it’s a struggle to keep oxygen on him when he’s postictal, he’s a nightmare. He doesn’t always tolerate the OP well as he comes around so you’re best keeping him sedated a bit. He’s well known to ICU, his seizures unfortunately often lead to him in status and needing to be intubated.” He wasn’t trying to tell this doctor how to do their job, but it was hard when this was his little brother. 

"That's very helpful to know, thank you." They said, and meant it. "We're just currently waiting on the CT report, so we'll be able to give you a bit more insight then. Unfortunately his agitation has been pretty constant, even when left alone. And, with the infection, he needs to be on the oxygen, he's not managing without it at the moment."

“Yeah, I appreciate that.” Fao said. “He’s epileptic from a tbi as a ten year old, he always really struggles with his seizures when he picks up infections, and he’s been through some difficult personal stress in the last six months or so as well as some meds changes which have also made his seizures more difficult to control.”

"Of course. You can come and sit with him, if you'd like? I will warn you he does have quite a few injuries, he might not look quite like himself. 

“Nothing I can’t handle, I’m sure. I was with him when he had his initial TBI.” Fao said, standing up. “I’d like to see him.”

"I can't imagine how difficult that must have been."

“Makes Afghanistan look like a walk in the park.”

"Did you serve?"

He nodded. “Four tours, medical corps.”

"Wow, that's a lot."

“Yeah. Can I see my brother now?”

"Of course. Can i get you a cup of tea? Coffee?"

“I’m fine, thanks.” 

"Alright, just let me know. I'll let you though."

“Thanks.” Fao said, following him through into Resus. It was busy as always, though it was familiar to him now. His eyes flicked over to the bays, trying to find his brother’s. He hated this, being on the back foot with him. As much as moving out had been so much better for his mental health, it had its challenges too. 

Finn was crowded with doctors and nurses, poking and prodding at him. Unlike normal, he was too still, too quiet. While they'd obviously tried to clean the blood from his head injuries, each period of agitation had quickly opened them back up. His shoulder was almost in a sling, though it was clear he'd fought against that not so long ago. 

Fao’s eyes flicked critically over the monitors, trying to gauge where Finn was at. Not great. He took a moment at the foot of the bed, watching them work. Finn really didn’t seem like Finn, though at least he wasn’t fighting them in that moment. He fiddled with the lighter in his pocket,something to keep his hands busy. He’d instinctively reached for his tags, but they weren’t there any more, and he needed something to do. 

One of the nurses caught sight of Fao in her peripheral. "Hi, you must be Finn’s brother?"

Fao nodded. “Yeah. Sorry to linger, I didn’t want to interrupt you all.”

"No, no, of course not. Come on, you can come say hi to him."

Fao pushed through to come along side his brother, a stark contrast to how he usually was at work. They’d not recognised him yet, but he hadn’t been there long, and he was likely just another faceless surgeon when he was down there. He gently reached out to take Finn’s hand, cautious of a reaction from him. 

“Hey, Finn. It’s me, it’s Fao.”

Fao's voice, as it always seemed to, managed to break through to Finn. He blinked at Fao, his gaze dropping to their hands. 

“Hi. Got yourself into a bit of a mess, eh?”

"Oh, he definitely recognised you there." The nurse smiled, fussing over Finn. "Bet you're glad he's here, yeah? You'll have had him worried sick."

Fao squeezed his hand. “You’re a nightmare, you know that? Causing all this lot trouble, too. Look at you.”

The recognition he'd had quickly vanished, Finn looking straight through the lot of them. He pulled his hand from Fao's to rub at his face, his hand coming back red.

“It’s okay.” Fao soothed. “Do you think I could try and clean these wounds for him? I’m a doctor, I’ve got ID somewhere.” He asked, digging around in his pockets. 

"We shouldn't…" She hesitated. It was the most settled Finn had been, and the closest any of them had gotten to him. "I'll grab you some supplies."

He finally found his ID, the lanyard jangling. “Here, and I can give you my GMC if you want to document it.” He said, offering it to her. “Thank you.”

"Ah, brill. You know what the paperwork is like. Do you want a seat?"

“That would be great, thank you.”

"Won't be long." She said softly, resting her hand on his arm before disappearing off. 

“Thanks.” He murmured, leaning on the rails of the bed whilst he waited, watching his brother carefully. 

Finn seemed to fade back in, catching his brother’s eye and holding his gaze. A frown flickered across his face and he shoved his arm in Fao's general direction with a groan.

Fao took his hand. “Hey. Bet you feel shit right now, eh?”

He spat the plastic from his mouth, dislodging the mask on his face.  "My chest hurts."

“Mask needs to stay on, Finn.” Fao told him, but didn’t move to adjust it. “It’s going to hurt, you’re not well.” 

"Then help." He narrowed his eyes, his chest crackling with each breath. The cough didn't take long to follow, but Finn didn't move to cover his mouth or turn his head. 

“Here, let’s get this back on.” Fao said, adjusting the mask. “I know it’s horrid, but it will help you out.” He was definitely out of it, though seemed more coherent than before - coherent enough to complain, anyway. 

Finn scowled as Fao got close, but whatever argument he had planned was quickly lost. His arms stretched out, his shoulder dislocating once more, and his back arched in a seizure. His eyes were fixed in the corner as he groaned, his body contorted and stuck. It finished as quickly as it had started, the extra exertion making Finn struggle and cough.

Shit. 

Fao winced as Finn’s shoulder slipped out of place again, as his back arched and the seizure took him. He was about to hit the emergency bell when it stopped, Finn struggling with his breathing again as his body tried to catch up. He considered going to find someone as the nurse reappeared, chair in hand. 

“He’s just had a seizure, all of about two seconds long, and that shoulder’s gone again.” 

She winced. "Ah, bless him. I'll get some more diazepam for him. The anaesthetists are on their way down, they'll probably have a chat with you. You probably know them, at least better than you know us."

“Maybe, yeah. I’ve not been here long. He needs his neuro really.”

"I think it's Dr Cunningham on this evening."

“Perfect.” Fao said, unable to stop the smile. “He’s Finn’s main consultant.”

"Oh, that's worked out well then." She said gently, moving to check on Finn. 

The younger man had returned to his vacant staring, though still struggled to catch his breath. His saturations hovered just under acceptable, and the doctor sighed from behind them.

"We'd hoped to wait, but I think we should go ahead and get that chest drain in now."

Fao hummed. “Worth doing whilst he’s a bit more settled than he has been.” He took a seat gladly in the chair the nurse had brought him, stroking gently through Finn’s hair. 

"Right, let's get an airway dump, just in case, and then give him a little more sedation. No point making it worse for him."

“Can I stay with him?”

"He's fine to stay." The nurse told the doctor. "He's fine."

Fao glanced at the doctor, relieved the nurse seemed to be on his side. He couldn’t leave Finn again, he just couldn’t. Besides, clearly he was doing something right, because his brother was settled. 

"We'll get you to sit on his other side, yeah? We might have to move you, so just bear with." The doctor happily listened to the nurse. "How are we getting on with that sedation? Got it? Brilliant. Let's get this done for him."

[aethelar]

At age eleven, tiny Newt Scamander walks down the middle of a hall that is large, and loud, and filled with people. He keeps his gaze forwards and focused on the hat. He doesn’t stop to consider the floating candles (there are six hundred and twenty three and they float at four distinct heights; Newt would suspect there were four different levitating charms keeping them afloat but he doesn’t have enough information to say for sure; the wax that drips down each one curls underneath and forms an extension to the candle stem, it isn’t allowed to drip onto anything below; if there are six hundred and twenty three candles at four distinct heights then there are not an even number of candles at each height and this is inconsistent) as he passes because he doesn’t want to be distracted. He focuses on the hat.

When it drops over his head, he greets it. Theseus warned him that the hat would talk, and conversations have a pattern. This is the pattern: Hello, my name is Newt Scamander. It’s nice to meet you.

The hat pauses, almost as though it’s thinking, before understanding clicks and it finishes the pattern. Hello Newt. I don’t have a name, but you can call me Hat. It’s nice to meet you too. And that’s it; simple, easy. Newt tries to think of things that would be useful for the hat to know, and the hat says a polite thank you to each one. Newt answers you’re welcome every time.

Goodbye, Hat, he says when he’s sorted, because that’s how conversations end. Goodbye Newt, the hat echoes, and Newt walks past the floating candles to an empty seat at the Hufflepuff table. It’s a good start.

It continues to be a good start. There’s more food than Newt has ever seen before, and most of it is unfamiliar. He doesn’t think he’s allowed to taste each thing, so he evaluates carefully based on appearance and smell, and it’s hard to do that while keeping up with the conversation flying over his head. He ends up eating not much (potatoes, mashed potatoes) and saying less, but he knows everyone’s name and he knows that Mathilda likes to be called Maddy and never Tilly and that Jason has three pet goldfish named after Greek heroes that he hasn’t brought and that Anna's face lit up when she saw the sticky toffee pudding but she didn’t ask for it to be passed which means she didn’t get any and that seems a shame to Newt. He considers for a while the idea that she didn’t want it in the first place, but he’s spent years practising his observations on the hippogriffs and the crups and the kneazles and he’s pretty sure he was right when he thought she did.

He stays awake for a long time that evening, sorting the information. He wishes he could go back to the hall and see it again because the ceiling is enchanted but he didn’t look at it; it was important to follow the conversations and he had to prioritise. By the time he falls asleep he’s decided that the candles were held by the same charm but powered by different people; that would account for the differing heights they levitated at, and the way that one set began to dip and bob mid way through the feast but the other sets didn’t. It still didn’t explain why the total number of candles wasn’t divisible by four.

There is a lot of magic, Newt finds, that isn’t explained. In class they are taught to swish and flick, pronounce it Wingardium Leviosa with a stress on the o, and make the feather fly - but why, Newt wants to know, does the o matter when Faolan Doyle is saying his spell in an Irish accent and Daniel Rowe has flattened his vowels like they do in Yorkshire, and both of them have made their feathers fly? He swishes his wand in a perfect mimicry and pronounces the words exactly the way he was told, and nothing happens. He wants to ask how to make his magic go through the wand, how to use his words to shape it, what the wand is for and why he has to hold it in his right hand and not his left, but the end of class comes and he hasn’t worked out how to phrase his question yet.

Later, three classes down the line when his feather is unmoving and still, the professor pulls him aside. You just have to feel it, she says. Don’t overthink it - I can see from your homework that you’re the type to. Magic’s simpler than that, just let it do what comes naturally.

Very little comes naturally to Newt. He is learning at a frightening pace, picking up new patterns and slotting in new social cues and unravelling the secrets of the moving staircases (they aren’t random at all - Newt sat on the balcony with his legs hanging over the edge and watched twelve staircases for four hours and it’s easy to see how they work) - but none of it comes fast enough. His yearmates have discarded the old social cues and replaced them with injokes; the injokes change and there’s new conversation; four of them speak at once and they all falter awkwardly when Newt tries to join in. He observes them in the way he will one day observe the magical creatures of the globe, and he makes notes about the way they work in a detailed, meticulous manner that will one day be used to write an encyclopedia of fantastic beasts, but first year Hufflepuffs are unfortunately less consistent and less amenable to being studied that nundus and occamies. There is no mating dance he can learn the steps of to help him here, however hard he tries.

He retreats. Of the owls in the owlery, three are distressed. Perhaps they belong to muggleborns who aren’t used to their care, but Newt doesn’t concern himself with that - owls are avian and hippogriffs are part avian and he works out which things he knows can apply to the new situation and researches the gaps in his knowledge. He adjusts their diets to match their needs and writes helpful letters to their owners with recommendations for them. He swaps the perches around until he finds the best groupings of each owl’s favourite perch with their favourite neighbours. He curls against the wall in the corner and does his homework, soothed by the familiar space with the familiar sounds and the forty four familiar birds overhead.

At Christmas he gives his yearmates things he thinks they’ll want. Jason gets an underwater plant for his goldfish aquarium, the one he mentioned at the welcoming feast but has apparently lost interest in since then. He never said he lost interest. Newt didn’t know. Anna gets a sticky toffee pudding that Newt had asked the elves for specially, but she looks at him weirdly, and Newt doesn’t know why. Leta Lestrange brandishes the soft knitted scarf at him and asks if she looks like a girl who likes rainbow colours, and Newt stutters out a yes, because she always chooses the trowels with the brightly coloured handles in herbology, and she fiddled with her lumos in charms until she could make it cycle through the rainbow, and she arranges bananas and strawberries and blueberries on her plate at breakfast into patterns and stripes even when she’s running late, and these are things that Newt has observed and the common thread is that Leta Lestrange is a girl who likes rainbow colours.

Leta squints at him, considering. She follows him for the rest of the day, watching him, and it makes Newt nervous because it’s not what she usually does. She keeps following him, scrunching her nose at the way he talks to his owls in gentle murmurs, leaning over his shoulder when he writes his essays, chewing her hair as she studies him. She presses in too close and crowds him and he flinches back and away, elbows rising to ward her off, and she raises an eyebrow in surprise and shuffles back on the sofa. She doesn’t leave.

“Don’t you have to think?” she asks, when he’s almost finished his transfiguration homework. “Or just pause a little?”

“I thought before I started,” he says, hoping that’s the answer she wants, and keeps copying down the essay he wrote in his head. She hums and bites her nails, and Newt has no idea what that means.

Newt has just got used to Leta staring when she starts talking. The change is sudden - she walks beside him now, casually touching him and hugging him and messing with his hair when they’re sat down. He ducks away every time, startling when she doesn’t give him enough warning, skittering away from the hugs she springs out of nowhere - but though she switches to hugging from in front where he can see and never from behind where he can’t, she doesn’t stop hugging him. She talks to him, at him, nonstop and fast and too much information for him to process it all. She claims the seat next to him in class - she tried to make him move to sit next to her but Newt has to baulk at something and he baulks at that - and compares their marks on the theory papers and punches him on the shoulder and calls him a nerd and Newt doesn’t know why.

“We’re friends,” she says when he asks. Newt tries to compare her actions against how he’s always thought friends should act and it doesn’t quite match, but it’s similar. Like hippogriffs and owls. He can do that.

Leta nods, satisfied, and Newt reorientates his world view to include Leta as a friend, and it works.

In five years, Newt will stand with his chin up and refuse to back down from his lie because Leta is a friend and Newt is a Hufflepuff and both friends and Hufflepuffs are loyal. There is no force on earth that will move him from this, because this is a fact, and this is right, and this is how the world is. Leta will duck her head and look away in shame and try not cry and Newt won’t understand that part, but that will come after. Newt will stick to his lie and be expelled with a stubbornness born of knowing he’s doing the right thing, and he’ll never once regret it.

For now though Newt sits next to Leta and allows her to play with his hair and, when she notices him thinking, explains to her how he’s noticed that the bowtruckles in the forbidden forest prefer some trees over others and that he thinks there’s a pattern to it, a reason behind it, and he’s working out what it is. She continues to call him a nerd, but she says, once, that it’s a term of endearment (”You utter sap, I mean it in a nice way. If I ever insult you I’ll let you know in advance, ok? Honestly.”) so that’s ok.

Midway through the summer term, Newt finally puts together how to “feel” his magic and he runs through the entire year’s repertoire in one glorious sitting. They’re only first year spells but they’re first year spells that he’s been failing to perform for months now, and there’s something giddy about knowing that he can do them when he has all the steps in place.

Leta punches his shoulder, which Newt has learnt means she’s proud of him, and calls him a “genius boy, now sit down and tell me exactly how you did that because wow.” It takes two cups of tea for Newt to fully explain how he drew his magic out and pushed it into the right places and the right shapes, and Leta nods her way through the entire thing and declares she knew from the start that he was brilliant.

He doesn’t have many friends. Any, he doesn’t have any friends aside from Leta, and his teachers sometimes despair, and Hogwarts runs like a ticking clock beneath the magic and the chaos but there’s still too much magic and chaos sometimes to keep track. But Newt and Leta run away from the feasts and hide in the owlery with mashed potatoes and spinach pie and fourty four owls overhead, and Leta’s wearing a rainbow hairclip because anyone who pays attention can see that she loves colours even if she’s shy about showing it, and she still talks too fast but she also pauses for Newt to catch up and think through his replies and it’s a good start, Newt’s first year at Hogwarts.

It’s an excellent start.

[arrhakis]

The Pharaoh And The Magpie فرعون والعقعق | The Pharaoh And T… | Flickr

The Pharaoh And The Magpie فرعون والعقعق | The Pharaoh And T… | Flickr

The Pharaoh And The Magpie فرعون والعقعق by Daniel Arrhakis (2022) With the music : Faolan – Princess of Persia [Middle Eastern Music]

[linebreaker]

Used this picrew to play around with some OCs from my novel series.

Kennedy Hines

Silas McKinley

Audrie Ward

Daniel Mendonca

Faolan Mercer-Fairclough

Hadrian Fairclough-Mercer

Avery Janovsky

Emily

Marcus Ward

[jaxkiekie]

Let’s meet my other personalities shall we?

Tyson! (Tyson is speaking at the current moment. That’s me!) Tyson is sophisticated and intelligent. He uses many scientific and complicated words in his speech. He’s mostly asexual but homoromantic. He gets along well with most everyone. And he often has to explain things he says.

Daniel! Daniel thinks he’s super cool. He loves rock and alternative music. He’s confident and, most of the time, pretty friendly. He also likes to think of himself as edgy. But he probably doesn’t succeed in being edgy at all.

Alexander! Alexander makes a contest out of everything. He’s very competitive. He has a lot of self-esteem and very confident. He’s proud of himself all the time. And he’s a sore loser. If he loses he’ll be depressed and will stop trying.

Faolan! Faolan has many intrusive thoughts. He’s depressed, but also has many psychotic thoughts. He has a bad temper. And hates when people say he’s cute.

That’s pretty much all of them! Yep!

[evadenly]

Recovery - Whumptober Day 30

Finn had been going from strength to strength. He'd landed on his feet with a job with the police, half moved back in with Jess and repaired their relationship. With the Irregulars quieting down, he'd gone for a job with the ambulance service. 

Obviously they'd snatched him up, agreed to his terms and trained him up to go on the road. It was something new for him to conquer, and he fit right in.

"We've got an adult male. Collapse, breathing, not responding normally. Cops are on their way." Finn reads from the screen in front of him. "Side of the road, so they're gonna keep an eye on it for us."

They pulled up with a swear from Finn. "Grab the rest of the kit? I know him." He drops to his knees by Fao's head, his parabag following.

"Fao, mate? Can you hear me?"

Fao comes to with a groan, his eyes flickering open for a second. But he recognises Finn and groans again, curling onto his side in an attempt to ease the pain. It didn’t help.

"You're alright. You collapsed, but we're gonna get you sorted, yeah? My crewmate's just getting some stuff, okay?"  

He didn't reply, just tried to push Finn away. He didn't need this, he just wanted to sleep.

"Fao, come on. You gotta stay awake for a little bit. Have you got any pain?"

“Pain.” He echoed, curling up tighter. “Fuck off.”

"Faolan. It's just me, okay. Don't swing for me when I touch you." Finn turns to his partner. "Faolan Blackwood. Served with me quite a few years ago, and is a general pain in the arse, yeah?"

“Jus’ leave me alone.” He mumbled thickly. “‘M fine."

"Yeah, that's why you're on the floor." He carefully clips the sats probe on Fao's finger. "Talk to me."

“No.” He grumbled, shivering. “Go ‘way.”

"Okay. I'm gonna call Ely then, get her to meet us at hospital, okay?"

“No.”

"Why not?"

He whimpered. “‘M fine.”

"I know you are. You think you can get onto the bed? We'll help."

“Go away.” Fao grumbled. 

"Alright. C'mon, we'll get you up." Finn turns to Ben. "We'll take our time, he's got a habit of trying to leave and just generally causing problems, haven't you?"

Fao pouts. “Says you.” His voice is thick and he's shivering.

"Yeah, I know. But you're not well, Fao. It's my turn to look after you, yeah?" Finn rests a careful hand on Fao's shoulder. "You've got a fever, mate, and honestly? You look like shit."

Fao groaned, moving away from Finn’s touch.”’m goin’.” The pain got worse but he forced himself into his back and then into a sitting position, swaying.

"Hey. Careful."

“Goin’.” He mumbled, forcing himself onto his knees and then up on his feet. But the pain just gets infinitely worse and he crumples, crying out. 

Finn's already behind him, catching him before he falls. "So much for careful. It's okay, Ben's got the bed behind you. Just sit, okay?"

Fao doesn't have a choice but to sit, the pain just getting worse with every movement. He whimpered, clinging to Finn. 

"It's okay, Fao. I've got you." He absentmindedly rubs Fao's shoulder. "Where's your pain?"

“Stomach.” He's quiet, his voice a little scratchy. “‘m gonna be sick.” He realises this very suddenly, swallowing thickly to try and stop it. 

"It's alright. Just breathe." Finn doesn't manage to fully move out of the way in time.

There's not much to come up, it's mostly bile and some blood, and Fao can taste it. It makes him groan and he mumbles an apology to Finn.

"No apologies." His hand is soft against Fao's back. "It's okay. You wanna lie down? We'll get you in and sorted, yeah?"

Slowly, Fao nodded. He laid down, curling up on his side. He wasn't sure if it helped or not but he did it anyway. He wanted it all to end, he was fed up. 

They're quick to move him into the back of the ambulance, into the warmth and away from prying eyes.

[lareporteraimtrue]

ADLER AWARDS RESULTS

Each year, the **Adler Awards** awe millions of fans around the country each year. This year was no different. With performances by the likes of **Wilhelm Mueller, Stefan Schmidt, and Seamus Byrne, former member of London Calling.** Many other performances intermingled between these as well. Everyone in attendance looked great, some of them looked better than others. There was some drama between two female actresses who have yet to be identified. The LA Reporter will keep searching for information and let you, our loyal readers, know when we have information. The winners are as follows:

PRESENTER: AARON WELLS

WINNERS 

AIM TRUE AWARDS SEASON

FEBRUARY - APRIL 2020

TOP BEAUTY CHANNEL - Aisha Becker

TOP SUBSCRIBER COUNT - Melodii Hanabusa

BEST ACTRESS - Ariadne Faolan

BEST DESIGN - Rowan Vega (Captain Marvel)

BEST FILM - Rocketman

ICON AWARD - Warren Hayes

BEST ACTOR - Kendrick Abbott

BEST COLLAB - Kendrick Abbott & Evangeline Cooper

TOP MALE ARTIST - Seamus Byrne

TOP FEMALE ARTIST - Lennon Okaes

HIP HOP SONG OF THE YEAR - Brantley Ambrose

POP SONG OF THE YEAR - Jameson Hall

ALBUM OF THE YEAR - Page Scott (Road Less Traveled)

ARTIST OF THE YEAR - Page Scott

BEST SOUNDTRACK - Jameson Hall, Daniel O’Keefe (Rocketman)

SONGWRITER AWARD - Seamus Byrne

TOP BAND - Erin Mackenzie (Cynics+Critics)

TOP ROCK SONG - Aedan Bagshaw (Cobalt Blue)

INTERNATIONAL SONG - Wilhem Muller

BEST FORIGNE FILM - Stefan Schmidt

INTERNATIONAL ARTIST OF THE YEAR - Wilhem Muller

BEST DIRECTOR - Joey Breakfield

TOP GAMING CHANNEL - Melodii Hanabusa